#but i enjoy writing them a lot !!!
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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my stages of watching columbo
1: hahah hes just a silly detective ;)
2: columbo is actually a cunning manipulative liar that hides his true persona behind the facade of a slow and clumsy middle class detective
3: hahah hes just a silly detective ;)
#columbo#when i was watching for the first time I used to analyze these things a lot#and columbos character always struck me like an unsolved puzzle#cause you cant never say what goes on in his head#but as the show kept going you notice that hes not ill intentioned at all#and he does enjoy befriending his suspects and knowing them#although i do think he lies a lot he doesn't do it to âtrickâ them#but to create intimacy and get to know them better#he actually thinks they deserved to be treated with respect and considers it fun#its kinda rare to a character writing be this consistent#the moments i felt âthis doesnt sound like him at all...â were almost nonexistent#well im just babbling around now
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 𼲠i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the lightâit's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationshipâit's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if youâve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"justâ" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyesâa deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don'tâ"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy partâ
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
âwhat was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's notâ" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "âit's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his partsâall the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn'tâthe reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his bodyâthat he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japanâs historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't lookingâhis fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
thereâs a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you noticeâa little wistful if anything.
âdo you miss it?â you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if heâs been caught with a secret heâs been trying to hide.
heâs learned a fair bit about you now, too, thoughâlying to you is futile when youâve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
âsometimes,â he admits, but you know itâs an understatement.
âi think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,â he continues, clenching his fists tightly, âi always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesnât work that way.â
âi⌠i try to replicate the right conditions every night, butâŚâ then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. itâs rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that heâs been through.
âis that why you prefer the dark?â you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings â he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.đĽŠ
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// pentiment spoilers (implied ig but still there)
more of these because i was inspired
#i hope you guys see my vision on some of these#the claus and andreas one could also work the other way around i feel#also unrelated but why is there like no father thomas content out there sorry#will be talking abt big spoilers here btw#but like i loved him in my first playthrough idk if i was dumb but i thought he was nice and neeever suspected him#even now i can still appreciate him although i do not âlikeâ him for obvious reasons but i enjoy spinning him around in my head#anyway idk ig i was expecting to see more stuff abt him online like posts or fanart or whatever but thereâs like nothing !?#to the like 2 people whoâve made fanart of him and/or a discussion post about him pls know u are everything to me#anyway sorry idk when tags became father thomas discussion time but i have a lot to say abt him tbh#pentiment#pentiment spoilers#andreas maler#father gernot#father thomas#brother mathieu#brother rudeger#ok too lazy to tag them all sorry guys#can write about father thomas for 6 long tags but canât tag like 7 characters
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clementine
#that other post i made that was like tnp if clementine had a gun#rewriting them has been fun mainly bc a lot of their personality has gone back to the way they were originally#when i started writing them before they turned out a lot more.. friendly? & meeker than i intended#and they are still friendly but i think it's more obvious that it's a mask in some scenes now#adding the toll scene back in and giving them a chance to have leverage over the hunter with the stolen money has really#made the whole deal with them feel more planned & intentional on their part (which it always was)#clementine is Plotting#i also think people will more easily recognize that the deal with them has Consequences now lmao#i really enjoy writing them but i do think finding the balance with them is the hardest#trying not to come across as too obvious but also i don't want it to feel like it's completely out of character either#anyways. teehee
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Harry Potter can cook. tbh. He deserves it. Also I headcanon that voldemort has made it so he does not need to sleep or eat much in order to thrive, physically and mentally, but he still eats anything Harry cooks and offers to him. A love language, of sorts.
#harrymort#harry potter#voldemort#words aren't wording but hopefully this makes some sense#i just wanna write a fic abt harry cooking a lot and fill it with all my favorite recipes and project onto that boy!!!#and also voldemort doing things that he does not need to do simply because he enjoys them is nice to explore#like he doesn't need to produce an offspring or an heir but he still enjoys sex with harry#he doesn't need to sleep but he still takes naps with harry#he doesn't need to eat but he still eats with harry#do you see the vision#hedonism but /pos
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I really want to see a more fucked up version of Charlie in canon. Like, okay, I am a die-hard for sweet bubbly girls in media. But I always see how some people make Charlie actually, oh I dunno... demonic? And it's so refreshing for her type of character. I could honestly see her having low empathy (and we kinda see this with how she handled Angel's situation or even Vaggie's nervousness about taking control on an activity). An exploration of that trait (if it was intended) would be interesting to see for a protagonist, especially when her main goal is about helping others. I would love to see her actually have a level of difficulty in understanding others' feelings from the other residents, sinners, and even her father.
But give her a fucked up side. Not a "she gets more power when she's angey uwu", but a "oh, she's a little fucked in the head". It would give so much to her character that she just doesn't have.
@/murmurmurena (don't wanna bother them so slash there we go) has some fun ideas with Charlie. I highly encourage people to check their stuff out! So many fun dark ideas with her character while also still keeping to her canon personality pretty well! Personally, I think Charlie being a bit more naive to her own messed up traits would work best but her also being aware of these traits can make for some interesting character for her.
THIS FIC, "A Game Between You and I". RIGHT HERE WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER. A bit of spoil for the fic here: but I love how they handled Charlieâs absolute ignorance as to why the idea of Russian roulette is horrifying to Angel Dust. It doesn't feel like her being intentionally malicious or aware that she's the odd man out here. This is also a pretty old fic going by only the pilot, but the point still stands that it was such a fun take for her character!
Charlie is one of my favorite characters in the show in part of the POTENTIAL she could have as being the most bubbly sweetheart character while also being the most messed up character in the show. I can't say I have strong confidence with the show's writing and fully expect them to stick with Charlie being the "nice girl but oh no, don't get her angry or she gets scarwy". Which isn't bad for a character mind you, there's just so much more potential to Charlie outside of that trope, especially when you get into the theories of her either being a doll, Roo's biological daughter, or what have you. And for the MAIN CHARACTER of the show, it would be not only interesting but also bring the spotlight back to her.
There's really no question that the side characters steal the show, particularly all the male characters. If I'm honest, Charlie does not feel like she gets a lot of love from the show itself when she's supposed to be the main character. She feels far more flat compared to the rest of the characters (again, the male cast in this "female-lead" show has more depth than most of the female cast currently. I wouldn't be pointing this tidbit concerning the genders of characters if it weren't for the fact Viv defended Helluva's lack of development with their female cast by saying "Hazbin is a female-lead show and Helluva is a male-lead" and Hazbin ended up with it not feeling female lead (to me) and the male cast just completely stealing the show. I don't normally care about gender stuff, especially since I do personally lean interest towards male characters. But using one show as a defense for poor development of the female characters, and then that show not really holding up with no very interesting well-developed feeling female characters irritates me. It's just very clear that these shows don't seem to care much about the female cast :/)
If you like how Charlie is written that's totally fine. PERSONALLY, I just think they're missing so much opportunity with her character by just making her the standard female character type. I honestly don't have a lot of faith they'll actually do something with Charlie's character though. She's a pretty static character in S1 being the same from start to end. Not changing or learning anything to create any development. What does the end of season Charlie do that start of season Charlie wouldn't do? Fight back? Because we see with the pilot (which is the âfirst episodeâ) that Charlie does fight people if pushed like with Katie Killjoy and even Valentino. Static characters can work in media depending on the show or their role. But Charlie is the MC of a show about âbettering one's selfâ. So to have her as a static with not a lot of strong dilemmas for herself (like we see with Angel Husk Al and even Vox) seems silly. Plus, considering Hazbin is telling a whole story and it's not a fun episodic thing, characters are expected to grow on some level. Or else, what was the point of their hero's journey?
#I honestly have a lot of problems with Hazbin's storytelling#That the limited time of doing plot doesn't even help it and shouldn't be used to shield the show from criticisms#Especially when you can find the same issues in Helluva Boss that has no excuse with the writing (though it's getting a bit better)#I love this show but goodness gracious it makes me have a tangent about it#Charlie's unimpactful character writing just being one of MANY issues#Hopefully the crew take all the criticisms into account for S3#S2 if possible would be nice but they probably had it all scripted by the time S1 was airing.#No shame on the female cast either they're fine. But when you compare them to the given depth of characters like Angel Husk Alastor and Vox#They're pretty lackluster. Vaggie's probably the closest to a female character with a lot of layers we've seen in the show#And she wasn't done very well with being essentially just âCharlie's GFâ with not much identity outside of that explored much#Some of this may be more personal takes but it's frustrating. Again I don't normally care about gender stuff in media#It was just the excuse to Millie and Loona lacking development that bothers me#Like Hazbin is supposed to make up Helluva's poor writing of their main female leads#Loona got a bit of love with the Bee ep and Verosika and Octavia are pretty good. Particularly V with her relationship with Blitz#Whenever I start talking about aspects of Hazbin's writing I always end up ranting a bit (â ââ˘âĎââ˘â â)â#Celtrist#cel rambles#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar#hazbin critique#hazbin criticism#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critique#hazbin hotel rant#You can really love something and still be critical with it#I do it out of love I swear#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol
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many thoughts about these guys
#hollow knight#hollow knight fanart#hk ghost#hornet hk#the hollow knight#the knight#nailmaster mato#i have a lot of thoughts about the sealed siblings and how they would necessarily grow#this is way way in the future since theres no way theyre not at least semi immortal#and hell some of my now making this post some of my takes changed but i have many thoughts about how theyd look how long itd take them to#be comfortable enough to settle and grow and accept all the shit thats happened and will happen#etc etc#feel free to pester me about specifics if ur curious ig i dont wanna write an essay in the tags sdjksd#enjoy my little goobers#side note all three of them like dirt and digging its good for worms and trees#sits in the dirt not unlike a tree and basking in the sun seems like a wonderful thing to do#but also playing in the mud and kicking puddles too#yea#my art
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THE ULTIMATE ORIGINAL CHARACTER STAT SHEET
download || soundtrack template || more edits
Annnnnd she actually delivers for once!! Here's the completed stat sheet, free to use by anyone! I wanted a dnd esq sheet but for non dnd characters, so here you go. Drop me a tag so I can see what y'all do with it if ya want, and happy editing!
Typefaces Used: headings = "Blackout", general text = "Mimi"
tag list (ask to be added or removed): @bbrocklesnar @carrionsflower  @risingsh0t @statichvm  @marivenah @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @simonxriley @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @arklay @jackiesarch @zevlor @minaharkers @captmactavish @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @queennymeria @shadowglens @nokstella @nightbloodbix @heroofpenamstan @fenharel @alexxmason @malefiicarum @rolangf @gwynbleidd @delzinrowe
#my edits#oc stats*#my templates*#oc edits#might make more of my edit templates public....?#idk#if people want them then by all means!#also you can just download this image if you want to#and just write over it/print it#i plan on printing this for each of my kids#so yes that would be a lot of printing lmao#but itll be worth it#anyway i hope yall enjoy!#i wanna see what yall do with it!
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I finished posting the unabashedly educational Sword Fic.
It includes a detailed (but hopefully beginner-friendly) explanation of all the steps of making a Nichirin blade from a sunny mountain like Mt. Youkou, a touch of swordsmith and metalworker folk lore (including demons), meta about what must make Kimetsu no Yaiba's swordsmithing methods different from real life methods, some character exploration for Haganezuka and his polishing method, vocabulary and additional resources in the chapter notes, and hopefully, an endearing, silly POV character to learn this all through.
#my fics#SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS#would you like a story about the years of background of this fic?#I was not very well-versed in metallurgy until recent years but my study of the Japanese language goes back to#well#longer than some of you may have been around#I always liked samurai and swords for the aesthetic but started to take more of an interest when I lived in Shimane#and on a day when I had a friend taking me around to rural sites associated with a legendary monster she was like#let's go see the sword museum while you're out here#but that museum was closed (it comes back into this story though)#so we went to a different one that no longer exists but that was my first encounter with how much work it takes to make the sword ore#fast forward years later#I am writing this blog and it becomes known as a fun place to read about Japanese culture as seen in KnY (thanks glad you enjoy)#I decide that I must tell people how hard it is to make the ore and finally visit that main museum on a trip back to Shimane#I collect material and struggle to do more research and wrap my head around it#and I write the first version of Teppi's story that focused mostly on the smelting and glazed over the forging and polishing and stuff#meanwhile I am in a job situation I have already long since wanted out of and soon I want out a lot more desperately#job searches were disheartening but then I found THE ONE I WANTED#and on that first interview when I was already like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#they asked if there's a Japanese cultural topic I could suddenly explain in great detail if asked#and without mentioning this blog I said I had recently written up something for fun about tatara smelting methods (and they forgot this)#fast forward again and I very happily got the job and was very nervous as I got the rundown on a very large annual nerd project#and when they announced the topics for that year I saw that tatara smelting methods in the region I knew them from was on the list#and I was like#asudyaiusdyuasdyuahduahduhsdhuPLEASE GIVE ME THAT#and i got it and when I went out there for research people were like#...why do you know all this...???????#and since I dared not mention my KnY blog I was like#...I lived in Shimane...#it seems I broke the tags because the rest of the story got cut off but hi yes you get the idea
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bftc jaytim fuck nasty in their batman suitsđŠˇ
CORRECT THEY DO. it's like you live in my brain, anon. and for that, you get a full fic bc i've wanted to write this anyway and you gave me an excuse to. have 6k words worth of dirtybadwrong JayTim. rough sex, blood play, pain play, degradation, consensual but not safe or sane, dead dove vibes so be warned. but also enjoy bc ily for this thought anon đŠˇ
âYou look ridiculous in that get-up. Like a kid out for trick-or-treats.â The words were just as brutal as the fight was. Jason had the bodyweight and training to easily pin Tim, now that he was done toying around.Â
Of course, toying around for Jason Todd looked like bloody slashes across Timâs back, base of his skull, and his forehead. Picking one of Bruceâs older suits may have been a bad idea on Timâs part. The armor was thinner and easier for Jason to slash through with a batarang in a clenched fist.Â
Tim had managed to knock the batarang out of Jasonâs hand, but that also seemed like a bad idea now, with Jason on top of Tim. His fists were even more brutal, blunt weapons and heâd reinforced the gloves to make his punches hit harder across Timâs face.Â
There was blood pouring from Timâs nose and mouth. With all the pain flaring across his body, it was hard for him to get a good read on if anything was broken or not.Â
All he knew was it hurt. His head spun from slamming against the concrete. It was hard for Tim to blink his eyes into focus. And when he did, he wished he hadnât. Jason was leaning in so close, his mask was all Tim could see. Tim dizzily wondered how the glowing eyes didnât impede Jasonâs vision.Â
âLook at me,â Jason demanded. His voice was robotic behind the thick metal mouthpiece. One of his fists pulled back for another punch. âDo you see terror? Do you see fear? Or is it just your own reflection?â
By some miracle, Tim managed to catch the punch before it connected with his face. The muscles in his wrist and forearm screamed at the animalistic strength Jason pushed back with, inching his fist closer and closer to connecting. If it did manage to connect, Tim knew his own hand in the way wouldnât do much to soften the blow. If anything, Jason would shatter Timâs knuckles against his own nose.
Not a pretty thought.
âThat mad I said no to being your Robin?â Tim wheezed. It was hard to get air in his lungs, with Jason perched on his chest, putting all his weight on Timâs midsection.Â
Jason scoffed with cruel amusement. âYouâre a second choice, Drake. It doesnât matter to me if you say no, I can always ask the original. Heâd at least put up a better fight than youâre managing.â
Tim couldnât argue that. He thought heâd have some kind of chance in a fight against Jason, but it was a losing game to confront Jason on his turf, in a suit Tim wasnât comfortable in. He was too stupid to even bring his bo staff.
A great Batman he was turning out to be.
With bloody teeth, Tim smiled. âYouâre right. Is that why Iâm your reflection, Jason? Two second rate Robins who will never be the original?â He managed a laugh against protesting ribs. âFor what itâs worth, I still think Iâm better than you. Least I didnât die.â
He couldnât see the look on Jasonâs face, but he didnât need to. The feral yell that came out of Jason spoke for itself at how well Tim got under his skin. Jasonâs other fist came barreling toward Timâs face, but he managed to move his head out of the way, making it only connect with the ground. Jasonâs punch was hard enough to make the concrete crack.
Even with the reinforced gloves, that had to hurt. Maybe a couple cracked bones, if Tim was lucky. Jason couldnât hit as hard if he injured himself.Â
That was a solid plan. If heâd actually planned it in the first place.Â
âCanât believe I ever liked you, Drake,â Jason snarled, pulling his hand free from the concrete. He flexed his fingers just a bit too slow. He definitely hurt himself, even if he was trying to hide it. Jason went for his utility belt, grabbing another batarang.Â
âFlattering,â Tim deadpanned. He tried to elbow Jason in the neck, but Jason easily twisted away from the blow.Â
âI really did you know,â Jason said. Maybe it was the mask, but Tim couldâve sworn Jasonâs tone changed slightly. âIf Bruce hadnât corrupted you, you really couldâve been something.â
Tim ignored the comment about Bruce. Bruceâs death was too raw for Tim to be able to look at his grief about it head-on. âCanât say the feeling was mutual,â Tim grunted. He tried to slash his glove fins across Jasonâs face. But Jason was smarter. He had a more durable suit that made the blow easily glance off.Â
Damn Tim for picking this suit. He idealized Bruceâs image too much and forwent practicality. He was paying for it now. A new suit wouldâve had proper weapons worked into the wrists for Tim to easily flick out.Â
âI donât know about that,â Jason mocked with a cold laugh. âRemind me again Drake, who broke me out of prison?â
He had a point.Â
âReal great job youâve done repaying that kindness,â Tim muttered. He avoided addressing it directly. He didnât owe Jason his reasons. Especially not with how theyâd all blown up in his face.Â
âI never needed your kindness,â Jason growled. He wrapped a hand around Timâs throat and pressed down just enough to make it uncomfortable for Tim to breathe. âThatâs what all you Bats could never get through your skulls. I didnât need to be Bruceâs pity project, and I definitely didnât need to be yours.â
âTrust me,â Tim fought to get the words out, trying to worm his fingers under Jasonâs grip. âYou donât have my pity.â
âWhat do I have, then?â
âMy contempt.â The more Tim struggled, the tighter Jasonâs grip got. The sharp points of his claws were starting to dig into Timâs skin and draw blood. Blood flow was cut off from Timâs brain and he fought to keep hold of his consciousness.Â
âLiar,â Jason hissed. âNo one else is here, Tim. You donât have to pretend and hide things from me I already know.â
Maybe passing out would be a good thing. Then, Tim would have a convenient reason for not answering Jason. A reason to not face the truth Jason wanted him to bare.
Tim knew that Jason probably knew. The way theyâd looked at each other through the prison safety glass when Jason was locked up had a thousand unspoken words in just a shared smile. A promise, that maybe, if Jason cleaned himself up with this second chance, there could be something between them.
But Jason didnât clean up. He flung himself in the opposite direction, if anything. A growing body count and an ugly reign of terror that was Timâs job to stop.
He started this. He put misplaced faith in Jason. Timâs bad judgment jeopardized Gotham.Â
And now Jason wanted the unspoken part said out loud. Something a part of Tim would rather die than admit after all this. They both already knew. Making Tim say it was just an obvious attempt to humiliate him and Tim refused to sink to Jasonâs level.
All this over a stupid crush.Â
âFine,â Jason continued when Tim didnât say anything. âIâll say it for you. You loved me.â
Tim made a face and twisted, finally forcing Jasonâs hand free from his neck with a hard strike to his inner elbow. âIt wasnât love,â he insisted through grit teeth.
âWhat was it then?â
Tim didnât say a word. He wasnât going to give in to Jasonâs cruelty.
âTell you what,â Jasonâs voice dropped low and almost sultry. âIf you say it out loud, Iâll give you a free pass. No one will know.â
âA free pass?â
There was no way Jason was implying what Tim thought he was.
âRight here, right now.â Jason nodded. âCanât say Iâll make it sweet, but something tells me youâre not the vanilla type anyway.â
Shit. He was implying that. Timâs breath caught in his throat.
The answer shouldâve been obvious.Â
The answer was obvious. Tim was laying in a growing pool of his own blood because of Jason. Countless people were dead because of Jason. Bruceâs legacy was being destroyed because of Jason. Whatever little crush Tim had once had was long gone and replaced with disgust and hatred.
Most of it was.Â
But some small piece of Tim clung to the way Jason grinned at him. And that small piece of him seemed to be steering the rest of him, making him hesitate on what shouldâve been an easy answer. An easy chance to catch Jason off guard and get the upper hand in the fight.
Tim hoped the cowl hid enough of his face that his expression wasnât readable.Â
âOver my dead body,â Tim forced the words out, pulling himself back into reality. Praying Jason wouldnât read into the pause.Â
Jasonâs body shifted. He was quiet for a moment, then he shrugged and brought the batarang clenched in his fist to Timâs neck, easily finding the jugular. âSo be it. I agree anyway. Killing you is the best way to cut this goddamn feeling out of me.â
âWhat feeling?â Tim frowned, fingers twitching as he stalled, trying to think of a real plan.Â
âNo, no.â Jason shook his head and laughed. It was a hollow sound, this time. âYou donât get to have your cake and eat it too. If you wonât say it, then I wonât either.â
Oh.
âYouâŚâ Tim sucked in a breath. He was on deathâs edge, a blade to his neck, but somehow it was the furthest thing from his spinning mind. âYou like me? Like that?â He said it like a stupid high schooler, too shy to even look their crush in the eye.Â
âWhat difference does it make now?â Jason shifted his weight on Tim, bearing down more. âThis was always how it was going to end, between us.â
âIt makes all the difference,â Tim said. He didnât know why it did. But he knew it did. Tim reached a hand up, but instead of going for Jasonâs batarang, he went further. His fingers reached under his own cowl and tugged it off, baring his face to Jason.Â
Vulnerability. A metaphorical white flag, surrendering to Jason.Â
Tim was dangerously close to getting himself killed. He could feel it, in his beating heart and overflowing adrenaline.Â
âI wouldâve come at this from a different angle if I knewâŚâ Tim started, before trailing off. They were still dancing around saying it directly.
Jason barked out another laugh. âOh, would you? What, you wouldâve come to talk instead of fight? You really think that wouldâve worked?â
âMaybe-â
âI told you,â Jasonâs grip on the batarang tightened, âI donât need your fucking pity.â
âAnd you donât have it,â Tim snapped back. Too angry. This angle was quickly slipping away from him. Shit. âYouâre a psychopathic killer and I donât know if you can ever been redeemed after what youâve done. But I wouldâve tried out of love, not pity, you sanctimonious asshole.â
Jason stuttered. He leaned back and breathed hard. Tim really wished he wasnât wearing that stupid mask. âYou said it wasnât love.â
Tim took in a deep breath, and let himself fall over the ledge heâd been trying so hard to cling to since Jason pinned him. âI lied.â
For a moment, Tim was convinced heâd just sealed his own coffin. Whatever Jasonâs feelings were, it didnât seem like they were any particular deterrent to hurting Tim. He was inches away from killing Tim and leaving his body for someone else to find.
If they found Timâs body at all.
But instead. Instead, Jason reached up and ripped the metal part of his mask off, tossing it aside to skitter off into the darkness.
And he kissed Tim.
Tim let out the breath he was holding against Jasonâs mouth. And in turn, Jason breathed him in, greedy with his kiss. The batarang was kept firm against Timâs throat, but he couldnât bring himself to care.
Jason was kissing him.Â
There was still the logical side of him screaming just how bad of an idea this was. All the reasons he could think of to not tangle with Jason were running circles across his mind.Â
Tim ignored them and kissed Jason back.Â
Jason tasted like metal and he smelled like gunpowder. Both of those things made sense and made Tim want more. He wanted every single part of Jason he could drink up, even from a single kiss. Jasonâs tongue was in his mouth, licking and opening Tim up. They shared each otherâs blood through the kiss, until Tim couldnât tell whose was whose.Â
The kiss was broken by Jason just as suddenly as it was started. Jason pulled back and raised the batarang. Panic flashed through Tim and he instinctively threw his hands up to cover his face and neck.Â
The batarang slashed through Timâs suit though, thankfully not giving him what mightâve been the stupidest death in the history of vigilantism. Jason didnât seem to care about making sure the cut didnât get Timâs skin, though. Shallow wounds sprang across Timâs skin and he hissed, watching Jason turn the suit to ribbons. The batarang was then tossed aside so Jason could rip off the suit as he leaned back.Â
The bat symbol on Timâs chest stayed in tact, but everything below it was ripped away, exposing him from his abs down to his thighs. Jason knew exactly how to unclip the utility belt and throw that aside, with the shreds of fabric.Â
Cold air hit Timâs most private areas. He wanted to cover himself, but he couldnât get his hands to obey. His entire body was paralyzed under Jasonâs gaze.
âTake off your mask,â Tim found his voice, rough and not sounding like himself.
Jason wore a cruel smirk. âNo.â He did take off his gloves, though. Tim didnât hide his sigh of relief. He didnât want those claws on his skin. He was bleeding enough as it was.
The moment Jasonâs hands were bare, he ran them over Timâs skin. Tim hissed and flinched, but didnât pull away. He let Jasonâs warm hands claim his skin. Jason wasnât kind or gentle. He smeared Timâs blood around, exploring every bare inch. Timâs stomach, his hips, his back, his legs.Â
Jason curled a hand around Timâs dick and Timâs back arched.Â
To be fair, this wasnât exactly how heâd pictured sleeping with Jason. Still, he couldnât find it in him to complain.Â
Jason jerked Tim off rough and fast. The blood on his hand was slick enough to make a smooth glide over the callouses of his palm. Tim groaned, eyes fluttering shut. He bucked into Jasonâs hand. As much pain as his body was in, the pleasure was too distracting for him to care. Tim choked on every breath he managed to take in, unable to stop himself from crying out and whining.
His body was screaming at him because of what Jason had done to him. And now, he was letting himself fall apart to Jasonâs hands in a different way.Â
âIf Grayson found us, heâd think I was fucking torturing you from all the pathetic noises youâre making,â Jason growled. He barely sounded human. He slid his other hand up Timâs chest and grabbed Timâs face, stroking his cheek.Â
Tim groaned at the thought. He forced his eyes to open just so he could look at Jason. He really wished Jason would take the cowl off. Tim wanted to see Jasonâs face more than anything.Â
âDonât bring him up,â Tim gasped, practically humping Jasonâs hand for more delirious pleasure. âI donât want to think about him now.â
At least he could see Jasonâs smirk. âWhy? Because you know heâd disapprove?â
âBecause I want to think about you.â Tim tried to grab at Jasonâs suit to pull it off. His hands were clumsy and shaky though, probably from blood loss. All he could do was uselessly press them against Jasonâs chest and feel the warmth through layers of armor.
âFuck,â Jason groaned. His whole body shuddered, affected by Timâs words alone. Jason stopped jerking Tim off so he could unclip his belt. He kept his other hand against Timâs face though. Stroking it. âLeast I know why you broke me out of prison, now.â
Tim made an aghast noise. âThis is not why I broke you out of prison.â
Jason leaned in close, resting his face against Timâs. âYou still broke me out. So all my blood is on your hands too, Tim.â He pressed a kiss against Timâs temple. âBruce wouldnât have been stupid enough to do that. Hell of a Batman you make.â It was like he had crawled into Timâs brain just to voice all the awful little thoughts that Tim tried to bury.Â
âYou-â Tim tried to snap back, but he was distracted by the sound of Jason undoing a clasp, then a zipper. Tim looked down and watched, breath caught in his throat, as Jason pulled his cock out of his pants.
He was already hard.Â
Jasonâs hand smeared blood across his member. Tim swallowed at the sight. Jason had pushed his pants down just enough to expose a sliver of pale skin. He had a sharp v-line and toned muscles just from the bit Tim could see. An embarrassing noise came out of Timâs throat.
âPathetic,â Jason said, but he groaned on the word, working his hand over himself. It was filthy. Both of them, covered in blood, and Jason jerking off on top of Tim.Â
Tim wrapped an arm around Jason. He wanted to sink his fingers into Jasonâs hair, but he settled for wrapping them around the back of Jasonâs cowl. Tim seriously considered trying to pull the cowl off himself, but he doubted Jason would take kindly to it.Â
The noises Jason made as he pleasured himself were beautiful. Timâs sounds were animalistic and, in Jasonâs own words, pathetic. Barely human sounding. But Jason. Jason sounded practically divine, low and smooth as he moaned in Timâs ear.Â
âPlease,â Tim gasped. He wasnât sure what he was asking for.
âThat desperate?â Jason downright purred.Â
Tim didnât hold himself back from nodding. He swallowed down his dignity.Â
If he had any dignity left.
âIâm not going to be gentle,â Jason warned. Like he was giving Tim one last chance to back out.
Tim just laughed. âIf you think I want you to be gentle, you really donât know a thing about me.â
A guttural groan came out of Jason. He pulled back and lifted one of Timâs legs, bending it as far back as he could. Tim wasnât quite as flexible as Dick was, but Jason got pretty far before Timâs muscles protested and he winced.Â
âOf course you shave down there,â Jason commented. He slid a hand over Timâs smooth skin around his cock and balls.
âI donât like pubes getting caught in my suit,â Tim huffed, trying not to let his cheeks go red.
âDonât worry,â Jason hummed, âI think itâs cute. Makes you look like a fucking virgin.â
âIâm not.â Like it mattered.
Jason paused, just staring at Tim. Was he disappointed? It was hard to tell. âIâm going to ruin you for anyone else, so it doesnât matter either way.â Whether or not he was disappointed was masked with a rough, possessive anger that made Tim gasp.
Rough fingers ran over the shallow cuts on Timâs stomach and he hissed at the sudden sharp pain. It wasnât easy to ignore the dull throbbing when Jason was practically fingering the open wounds. Tim almost asked what the hell he was doing, before he realized Jason was smearing blood across his fingers, getting them slick and coated.
âSeriously? Youâre going to use my own blood to fuck me?â Tim asked, like just the thought of it wasnât making him spread his legs wider. Still, the idea of cleaning tacky blood out of himself did make Tim internally cringe.
âYou got a better idea?â Jason shot back.Â
âI think thereâs lube in-â
âNo.â Jason cut him off, pressing harder into the cuts just to make Tim wince. âWeâre doing it my way, or I just leave you in a pool of your own blood with a hard-on.â
âOkay.â Tim caved instantly with a hushed whisper at the rough dominance.Â
It was so easy, for Jason to take complete control of Tim. He was putty in Jasonâs hands, content to be manipulated however Jason wanted, so long as Tim got his own pleasure out of it. If Jason wanted Tim to bleed, he would bleed. If he wanted Tim to be spread open and ready to be fucked, then Tim would give him that too.
Christ. He needed to be checked out mentally after this.Â
Jason gave Tim a pleased hum, probably the closest thing to praise Tim was going to get out of him. Heâd take it. Blood slick fingers pressed against Timâs hole. Two fingers were forced in at once, hard and fast.
Tim screamed.
He didnât expect Jason to be gentle, but it seemed like Jason was going out of his way to be rough. Scrapping his nails against Timâs insides and brutally twisting his fingers around. He didnât try to hit Timâs prostate to bring any kind of pleasure. The brushes of his fingers over that spot were more painful than pleasurably, if anything. Fast and rough, giving Tim no chance to soak up the sparks of sensation from the bundle of nerves.
âOh god,â Tim groaned, throwing his head back. His hips twitched violently, like they werenât sure to press into Jasonâs fingers for more, or to try to pull away from the horrible assault.
Itâd been a while since Tim had been in this much pain. So battered from a fight that every movement of his body was weak and shaky. He grabbed onto Jasonâs arm, desperate for an anchor. He couldnât have pulled Jason off of him, even if he wanted to.
He didnât, though. Tim wanted this to last as long as it possibly could.Â
He never got to drown himself in the pain. Pain was something that had to be compartmentalized and ignored, for the sake of the mission. Getting back on his feet and ignoring the way his body screamed at him was one of the first things Bruce taught him.Â
Now, Tim didnât have to fight it. He could just give in. The half-hearted instincts from his body trying to fight back were ignored by Jason. Like Jason knew that Tim wanted this.Â
Needed this.Â
At some point, Jason mustâve worked a third finger inside of Tim. He didnât notice. The burning stretch swirled with every other point of pain on his body.Â
He did noticed when Jason finally decided to purposefully press against Timâs prostate.
This pleasure was new. Foreign and overstimulating with how aggressively Jason pressed down on the spot, rubbing into it to pull all kinds of noises out of Tim he didnât know he was capable of making.Â
âJason!â Tim cried out. âFuck, too much, I canât-â Timâs stomach was cramping from how hard his muscles clenched. He was falling, losing his grip on sensible reality. His head was full of cotton, foggy and unable to get a solid grip on coherent thought.
There were only three things that existed to Tim: pain, pleasure, and Jason.Â
âYou canât what? Use your fucking words,â Jason mocked, vicious and uncaring. He rested Timâs leg over his shoulder to free up his other hand. His fingers wrapped around Timâs balls and tugged. Tim screamed and arched like a jack knife. He hadnât noticed how close his orgasm was creeping up on him until Jason pulled it away with a brutal, carnal pain. When Tim lost control of his body, Jason found it and snatched it up, holding Timâs pleasure in his palm. Tim wanted to curl in on himself, but he couldnât force his limbs to obey.Â
âHurts,â was all Tim could groan out. He mightâve been crying. It was hard to tell, with his face so wet with blood.Â
âGood.â
âJason,â Tim tried to beg. He was lost to subspace, something he barely realized until now. âI canât take anymore.â He wanted more. More than want, god, he needed more, but his body was wired so tight Tim was convinced he was going to snap if Jason kept going.Â
He wanted that too.
âThatâs not for you to decide.â Jasonâs rough voice was a light at the end of a tunnel Tim was struggling toward to ground himself. To focus on something besides the agony crashing over his body in brutal waves. âDo you really think youâre in the fucking state to know what you can take?â
Jason was right. Tim just whined, a noise that turned into a choked sob when Jason pulled his fingers out just enough to slam them into Timâs sweet spot again, overwhelming him with more awful pleasure.Â
âGive yourself over to me,â Jason demanded. He leaned in close again. Timâs vision was blurred, but he could smell the gunpowder and leather. âSay it. Say I own you.â
Tim wanted to. He tried, opening his mouth and struggling to get the words out. He could only make more pathetic noises.
âSay it, or Iâll stab you and leave you to fucking bleed out.â
He probably wasnât lying.
âYou-â Tim choked on the word, shaking so hard his muscles were spasming. âYou own me.â Three little words, and they were the hardest words Tim had ever tried to say. Each one fought against him, getting stuck in his throat.Â
But he said them. Because right now, they were the only religion Tim believed in.Â
âLook at that,â Jason cooed. So patronizing. âYouâre not completely brainless and worthless. Yet, anyway.â He pulled his fingers out of Tim. One second those fingers had been driving Tim mad because they were inside of him, and now they were driving him mad because they left him empty and wanting.Â
His body needed more. More pain, more pleasure. Until he broke and Jason fucked the shattered pieces left of Tim.Â
Jason got a hand underneath Tim, using the blood from the gash on Timâs back to slick his fingers this time. That gash was far deeper. Something that probably needed stitches. It had started trying to clot but Jason agitated it enough for fresh blood to pour out. He was able to actually work his fingers under Timâs bloody skin, making Tim shriek and try to pull away.Â
There was nowhere for him to escape from the mind-numbing pain. When he pulled away, he just crashed into Jasonâs chest, forehead bumping against the bat symbol of Jasonâs suit.Â
âSo fucking easy to push your buttons,â Jason laughed. He moved his fingers around a bit more just to make his point and pull more wounded noises out of Tim. Then he finally pulled them free and let Tim fall back to the hard ground. It knocked the wind out of Tim.
He didnât have a chance to try to get air into his lungs. Because Jason slicked himself up with a disturbing speed and lined up. The warning of blunt pressure against Timâs hole lasted a fraction of a second and then Jason snapped his hips. Buried to the hilt.
Tim almost passed out.
He didnât know if it was from the pain, the blood loss, or his bodyâs inability to get oxygen into his lungs. Everything exploded inside of Tim. He was full, so full so fast. Jasonâs fingers hadnât been nearly kind enough to properly stretch Tim for Jasonâs size. It almost felt like being stabbed.
Over and over, as Jason fucked into Tim with no kindness.Â
A hard slap across Timâs face forced him off of the edge of unconsciousness. He gasped, eyes snapping open to find Jasonâs face right above his, the glowing eyes of the mask taking over Timâs field of vision.Â
Jason was smiling. Blood on his teeth, dripping out of his mouth. Was it his blood or Timâs?
Tim hoped it was both.Â
âI donât know which Bruce would find more pathetic,â Jason groaned as he fucked into Tim, pulling small screams out of Tim with each punch of his cock, âyou putting on that suit, or you letting me fuck you in it.â He brought his lips to Timâs ear. âWhoâs ruining his legacy now?â
If the physical pain wasnât bad enough, Jason knew exactly how to rip open the wounds of Timâs emotional pain alongside it. Tim cried out at the thought.Â
What would Bruce think of him, like this? Pathetic and barely human underneath Jason Todd?
âAnd they call me the failed Robin,â Jason just kept talking, like he wasnât destroying Tim from the inside out. âAt least I know how to be something other than Robin. Are you really delusional enough to think youâre going to be the next Batman?â A long moan came out of him and he thrust even harder until Tim screamed loud enough to make himself dizzy. âAnswer me.â
Tim just shook his head. âNo.â His voice was broken. His throat was sore from screaming, but the word still came out. Heâd never thought he really could be Batman. So what the hell was he thinking, putting this suit on?
âGood.â Jason slid his fingers under the bat symbol on Timâs chest, one of the only parts of the suit in tact. He ripped it off, the fabric tearing loudly in Timâs ears. âItâs good you know your fucking place.â Jason changed his angle, finding Timâs battered prostate again. Tim didnât have the air in his lungs to scream anymore. All he could do was weakly mewl and whimper.
He could die like this. He honestly might. Tim had no idea how his body was holding on, in this state. Maybe it was the pain and pleasure alone keeping him alive. Just so he could soak up every touch from Jason.
Tim was never going to allow himself to do this again. So he had to enjoy it while it lasted.
This time, Tim felt his orgasm creeping up on him. His fingers dug into Jasonâs arm and he pressed up into Jasonâs warmth. The material of Jasonâs suit was rough and unforgiving. It didnât feel particularly good for Tim to grind his cock against, but he didnât care. He needed any kind of friction, whether it brought him pleasure or road rash.Â
âI wonât stop if you come,â Jason warned, still hammering into Tim at a pace that shouldâve been impossible for a normal human to manage. âThis isnât to make you feel good. Itâs to put you in your fucking place.â
Tim could only whine, managing a nod of understanding. This was his place. He knew that. He never wanted to leave it.Â
The threat of being fucked into overstimulation hung over Timâs head, but he couldnât stop himself from chasing the high of his orgasm. He almost wanted to feel the overstimulation. Like his orgasm was just something to get over with so Tim could completely give himself over to Jason. To be used just for Jasonâs pleasure, even if it brought him nothing but more pain.Â
That thought made Timâs balls tighten. The only warning he could give Jason was a high pitched keen that barely sounded like Timâs own voice. His eyes rolled back.
The pleasure of his orgasm didnât overtake the screaming pain in the rest of his body. It just mixed with the pain, swirling into one intense feeling Tim didnât have a name for. He screamed until his throat gave out. His back arched and he clenched around Jason, who kept driving into him. Jason growled in Timâs ear. He was holding Timâs hip so tight there would be bruises that would end up indistinguishable from the rest of Timâs injuries.
All injuries that Jason gave Tim. Timâs body was a canvass, and Jasonâs favorite color to paint with was the red that poured out of Tim.Â
It was the best orgasm Tim had ever felt. No feeling was ever going to match this intensity.Â
Tim came down from his high with an awful wheeze, shuddering. He clung to Jason, like a guard dog laying at the feet of his master.Â
âFuck,â Jason moaned. A shudder ran down his spine and his pace faltered, just for a moment. âYouâre really something else, Drake.â From Jason, that was practically a compliment for Tim to soak up and preen under.Â
Timâs body tipped over the edge of overstimulation. His survival instincts kicked in, trying to fight Jason. There was no strength behind his kicks and hits. They just made Jason laugh as Tim made a fool of himself.
âI own you,â Jason reminded Tim. He caught Timâs wrist and pinned it against the cold concrete, squeezing tight enough to cut off circulation to Timâs fingers. âI can do whatever I want to your useless body. Donât try to fight it now.â He leaned down and found an exposed part of Timâs neck to sink his teeth into. It wasnât a hickey, but a proper bite, breaking Timâs skin.Â
Tim cried out, but still tilted his head to the side to give Jason better access to his neck. Even when his body wanted to fight, Tim managed to submit. Like the submission was natural to him.Â
The pain took over. Tim just floated in it, forcing himself to go limp. Submit. No more fighting. He gave in to Jason and stopping thinking. All Tim needed to do was feel. Feel every point of agony scattered across his body. Feel Jason fucking him. Using him, like Tim was nothing more than a toy. The sparks from Jason slamming into his sweet spot couldnât be called pleasure anymore, with Timâs cock spent and limp. It was more pain.Â
Better that way. Tim liked the pain more. Delicious and mind-numbing.Â
Jason was swearing against Timâs skin. He mumbled something Tim didnât catch. Three syllables. Short and rushed out. Tim was almost convinced the second word was love. Maybe he was making it up in his head though, finally lost in utter delirium.
Tim didnât care.
More insults fell from Jasonâs lips. Calling Tim nothing, worthless, pathetic. A cheap pretender who deserved this. Tim agreed with all of it, feverishly nodding. The words were practically sweet nothings in Timâs ears.Â
Jason yelled Timâs name when he came. His hips stuttered to a stop, buried deep inside of Tim. He knew Jason was coming inside of him, but his body was too battered to feel Jasonâs cum filling his insides. Shame that was. Tim wanted to know how it felt, to be claimed by Jason in this carnal way.
They were both so perfectly still, for two people who had been shaking and clawing at each other just moments ago. The only noise was heavy breathing that echoed through the night.
Tim swallowed. He tried to find himself through the pain. He worked through the body checklist that Bruce gave him. Vision. Smell. Taste. Feel. Sound. All the sensations clashed against each other, out of focus and pounding against Timâs skull.
It was so hard to think.
Tim groaned. Focus.Â
Like cold water thrown on his face, he clawed his way out of subspace. Tim got a good look at Jasonâs face.
âAre you crying?â Tim voiced the thought as soon as it crossed his mind.Â
With the mask, it was hard to tell. Jasonâs breathing was shuddered, hitching on every inhale. Tim wouldnât call it sobbing, but it was close enough for Tim to study Jasonâs face. The wetness coming out from under Jasonâs mask wasnât red. It streaked through the blood.Â
Tear tracks.Â
Jasonâs completely rational response was to punch Tim in the face.
Tim swore and curled in on himself, cupping his nose. If it wasnât broken before, it was now. Jason pulled out of Tim without any care and stood up, leaving him curled up on the ground, trying to set the broken bone and manage the bleeding.
Tim tried to sit up. His arms and legs gave out under him and he slammed back to the ground with a pained noise. He looked up at Jason, squinting. Watching as Jason tucked himself back into his pants, then snatched his gloves off the ground to put them back on.
Despite clearly losing the fight, Tim had done a number on Jason. Jasonâs face was bloody and his suit was ripped and torn in some places. He looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal.
If that was how Jason looked, Tim couldnât imagine what the sight of his own body was.
His second attempt to sit up worked. Now, he compartmentalized. Forced the pain deep into the corners of his mind and locked it up.Â
Tim had to be functional now. He couldnât let the regret and shame get to him.
âI-â Jason started to say something. It was only one word, but it sounded uncharacteristically soft, making Tim straighten his back and hold his breath. But Jason cleared his throat and folded his arms, stamping down whatever kindness had almost come out. âIâll throw you a bone. If any of the Bats find you like this you can just tell them I raped you,â he said it like some kind of mean joke.
Tim didnât say anything. That wasnât true. They both knew it.
âPreserve your precious dignity you care so much about, huh?â Jason continued. He sounded unsure of himself and he turned away from Tim.Â
âJason-â Tim reached out for him. âWe can still-â he struggled for the words. âIt doesnât have to end like this. You can still change. Iâll-â
âDonât,â Jason snapped. He kicked away Timâs hand. âWe both know itâs too late for that.â He started to walk away. âNever wear that suit again, Drake. Iâd hate to see you die to someone that isnât me.â He almost sounded⌠protective? Tim wouldnât call it fondness, but maybe something close to that. Tim refused to allow himself to read into it. Whoever Jason Todd had become, he was someone that Tim couldnât save. He was someone who didnât want to be saved, no matter how Tim felt about him. Tim had to accept that, even with Jasonâs cum deep inside him. Some truths were immutable.Â
Then, Jason was gone. Vanishing into the shadows and leaving Tim there.
Tim tilted his head back. He allowed himself thirty seconds. He counted them. Thirty seconds to sit in his own filth and feel the pain for just a little longer, before he had to move and figure out how he was going to get home in one piece without anyone finding out what happened here.
Just ten more seconds.
Five.Â
Three.
One.
With grit teeth and a deep breath, Tim stood up.
#necrotic writings#jaytim#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#timjay#dead dove do not eat#battle for the cowl#cross posted on ao3#batcest#sorry this sat in my inbox for a couple days anon#i was like 'hehe i'll write a lil pwp for this'#and it ended up over 6k words. god help me.#this is proof that if you send an idea to my inbox there is a good chance i will just write you a fic.#you might have to wait a couple days but i will come for you with food and chaos.#anyway this is a smidge dark as a fic fair warning#bc idk how else to write them fucking during bftc 2#masochist tim drake you will always be famous to me#once again wasn't gonna put this one on ao3 bc i felt it was gonna be too short for that effort#then it goes and ends up this long.#my partner always laughs at me when i do this. bc i keep doing it.#pls enjoy <3 i wrote most of this while in a lot of pain so#me and tim were twinning there.#while posting this my roommate's kitten used me as a jungle gym. she's my editor in chief.
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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my confession as a grown ass 19 year old is that im still obsessed with those "characters reacting to the show theyre in" gacha videos, idk what it is about them but i can never stop watching them
the saiki k ones are so good because its always either like conveniently avoiding clips of saikis powers and everyone is really confused, or its a power reveal
#they sometimes make me sad because a lot of them are very misogynistic toward the girls#and the people making them tend to be very young#it makes me sad that we're conditioned at such young ages to treat women badly#theyre always kub*kai and either sat**sai or ar*ace saiki (censors so it doesnt show up in those searches)#and for some reason a lot of people just cant ship/hc those without writing the boys' love interests off as homophobic/bitches/etc.#ok but anyway. the ones that arent misogynistic are very fun#i love seeing younger people enjoy fandom things like that#im sure there are people my age or older enjoying it too lmao#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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for writing game, iwaizumi + assistance <3
hope this sparks some inspo and thank you in advancee
hi there!! thanks for sending in a prompt đŤś
contains: friends to lovers (ish), halloween parties, reader is dressed as catwoman, expletives, iwaizumi is thiiiiis đ¤ close to murdering seijoh4 (jk)
iwaizumi + assistance
this is a set-up.
iwaizumi knows he shouldn't have fucking believed anything the boys "promised" him back when they assigned him this costume.
the suit is fucking tight, spandex digging into his groins and all other crevices that definitely should be aired out after after a few hours. he's had to constantly readjust his stance almost every few minutes, the black fabric compressing his thighs and torso, significantly constricting the range of motion his shoulders and arms are typically used to. if anything else, it could double up as a back brace from how rigidly straight it's kept his posture all night.
he'll give it to makki though; he did outdo himself sourcing this year's costumesâthis batman set looks pretty damn legit.
except for one tiny problem.
there's no fucking pee hole. it's a zip-up, zip-down one-piece situation. and that normally wouldn't be a problem, except that oikawa "accidentally" knocked over a cocktail straight into his pants, the sickeningly sweet liquid now seeping straight into the fabric and past his boxersâcold and sticky as it touches his skin.
and so, the problem: his pants are wet, it makes him want to fucking pee, and coincidentally, the only vacant bathroom is across the hall, at your apartment.
this is why he believes this is a set up. that, and the fact that you're dressed in an outfit strikingly similarâjust with cat ears.
he's been asked five times in this party if you're in matching couple outfits.
it catches him off guard, flusters him because of how badly he wants to say yes. but, you're just friends, and he doesn't even think you like him that way (despite mattsun and oikawa practically begging him to confess. makki tells him he thinks you're going to do it first).
so he politely smiles and says no, but you look good, your costume clinging to you in all the right places. thank fucking god he has a cape because he's pretty sure he spent the first 30 minutes in the party hiding his boner.
"hajime, it's fine, i swear," you stand beside him in front of the conveniently locked bathroom in oikawa's apartment. from the other side of the door, he's pretty sure he hears mattsun and his girlfriend mumbling. maybe fucking? who knows. "you can just use the bathroom in my apartment."
he glances at you before closing his eyes, contemplating, before finally agreeing to you.
"okay."
if he's being honest with himself, friends is definitely an incomplete label to what you are. as oikawa's neighbor, you are conveniently around all the time; and oikawa being oikawa, the ever-social butterfly, he's somehow managed to carve a space for you in the friend group.
(never mind the fact that oikawa's sniffed him out from the moment he first introduced you.)
you were a crush, then a friend, and now you're someone he picks up from work and drives back home three times a week, because he "has to train oikawa." you don't question it, even when you both know he stays over for dinner way past the gym's open hours.
"you know where it is," you open your apartment and urge him in.
"sorry again," he turns to face you.
"yeah, yeah, just pee!" you laugh, shoving him towards the bathroom door.
getting out of the suit is manageable, and he's able to wipe off a bit of the cocktail that's leaked to the suit and his boxers just to make sure it isn't gross and sticky when he gets home later. peeing is a big relief once he gets it over with, but it's when he has to suit up again that things become difficult.
stretching out the spandex one body part at a time is a workout in itselfâthe hardest task being when he has to pull it over his shoulders, adjusting it to fit properly over his arms and chest.
but then the zipper breaks.
and he truly thinks makki has fucked him over.
iwaizumi contemplates what to do next for a good, good while. he tries calling oikawa, only to no success every time; no way in hell is he calling mattsun in the middle of having sex. and calling makki isn't even an option; he'd never hear the end of it.
then you knock on the door, your voice soft and concerned as you ask, "hajime? you good in there?" you hit it spot on, too, "do you need help with your suit?"
iwaizumi presses his palms to his eyes. he's a rational man, straightforward and logical in thinking. there is literally no other option for him right now but to ask help from you. again.
fuck.
.
it's 30 minutes later when oikawa barges in your door, and the sight that greets him is iwaizumi in nothing but a hoodie (the hoodie you borrowed some time ago) and his boxers, with his hands on your waist as you hover your hairdryer over the crotch of his batman costumeâcat headpiece off and all.
"you finally got together?!"
#iwaizumi x reader#hq!! x reader#shotorus.workbook#omg i hope u enjoyed this!! i had fun thinking it up ehehe and writing it#in my mind this is set in the same universe as the halloween one i did for mattsunâactually its the same party HABFHBSF#some stuff about the fic: iwaizumi is hot in that costume i spared the details bc i was going to combust MYSELF#but it clings to his muscles REAAAAAAL good and there's really not a lot of padding in the costume itself#bc makki believes in iwaizumi's anatomy enough to deliver#what happened in between iwaizumi asking for help and oikawa barging in??? we may never know đ¤ˇââď¸ kidding !#i just didnt write it in bc it would be too long but#if anyone is curious maybe i'll write it as a separate thing!#other stuff abt the fic: reader became good friends with oikawa first bc neighbors but then oikawa admittedly wanted to play matchmaker#so he invited reader a ton to their group things so he could introduce em to iwaizumi HAHA and iwaizumi crushed hard#they become close pretty quickly too hence why reader calls him hajime HAHAH and they hang out even outside of the group#theres definitely something like they text a lot and stuff but neither of them are sure of how the other feels so they arent admitting#reader has borrowed a hoodie from him tho#(aka the one he's wearing in the blurb bc it's the only article of clothing that fits him in reader's apt)#also they figured they'd just kill time by drying iwaizumi's costume bc for sure they couldn't chuck it in the dryer so the next best thing#was to just use a dryer and spot dry it#makki did source most of the costumes! except mattsun's and his gf's#uhhh they go back to the party afterwards but reader literally had to makeshift lock iwaizumi's costume with safety pins HAHA#i guess his muscles just be too popping đ¤ˇââď¸#fvntybomb#ask#rep#ask game answered
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jjk boys x what they do for valentine's day
a/n: suggestive if you squint! these are for funsies!! like all my silly impulsive self indulgent hcs!!! enjoy!!!! i'm sending you all virtual chocolate and kisses!!!!!
ok listen yuuji is a baby he doesn't know anything and your relationship is still kinda new therefore he panics. easily. what would you like? flowers, roses? candle light dinner? the biggest heart shaped box of chocolates he can find? you best believe he won't be able to pick an option so he will just pick everything. can't risk it. a bouquet of pretty flowers is delivered to your workplace along with a box of truffles & you come home to find your kitchen absolutely wrecked (how did he even get inside?) and the table in the dining room filled with a certainly interesting combination of dishes lol listen he tried his best and you don't have the heart to tell him you would've been happy with a box of pizza and a movie so when he greets you with the sweetest happy valentine's day baby!!!! you can only wrap your arms around his silly little neck and kiss his silly pretty lips <3
megumi remembers everything. all the time. the man's an elephant. even when you think he's not listening, even if the information you're sharing is 100% trivial (pedro pascal is hot, touching raw chicken freaks you out, you think smelling fresh paint ain't odd) his brain is constantly registering everything that comes out of your mouth. not only that, but your reactions too. so of course he's noticed the way you'd softly smiled after a surprised gasp had escaped your lips when you'd found that antiquarian book in a specialized store on the outskirts of kyoto. of course he's picked it up for you (too expensive? not on his watch). of course he's slipped a simple, handmade card right inside (he knows you would've had his head if he'd glued anything on the page itself). the card reads âif you were a book, i'd never put you downâ. you cry & he freaks tf out lmao
gojo doesn't give a fuck about your job nor possible weekend plans, his extra ass has bought tickets to paris and you don't get to have a say in the matter. your suitcase on friday morning? packed. your mom? informed. your boss? he ain't important enough. satoru doesn't let you lift a finger: he's prepared everything, all the way up to your airport outfit (sweatpants and his hoodie, you better be cozy and comfy), he's even cleaned the house so you won't stress about having to do it once you come back. he wants valentine's day to be extra special, you've never been a fan of big romantic gestures so he promises the whole trip doesn't have to be about expensive dinners, champagne & roses. It's about you two being silly little tourists together, having fun, trying new food, possibly fucking in the jacuzzi he's made sure the hotel room comes with-
what geto does is: show up. LMFAO you two were broken up and of course he's at your door on valentine's day, not a flower nor an apology in sight, he just mumbles an annoyed âenough with this bullshitâ, takes your face in his hands and waits. the fucker actually waits for your eyes to give him permission to kiss you devour you. he doesn't wanna talk about it, he just wants to spend the night with you in his arms (soooo clingy don't even get me started, you have to eat dinner sitting on his lap bc he won't let you on a separate chair, he'll wait for you to get out of the shower like a lost stray cat, will order all your favorite snacks and happily sit right next to you on the couch never once casting his eyes away from you. he's missed your face too much, although you'll never hear him say it out loud
you and nanami have this tradition of gifting each other the most ridiculous v-day stuff you can find. he deals with enough boring serious grown up shit and you simply won't have it when it comes to your relationship. you need to see him smile and roll his eyes with fondness as you hand over personalized boxer briefs and stuffed animals and a coffee mug with âif you were an angle you'd be acute oneâ written on it. He does his best to follow the rules (so far he's given you socks with his face printed on them, a âi chews youâ chewbacca graphic t-shirt, a âring for sexâ bell and âi love you from top to bottomâ toilet paper) but he. just. can't. help it. in the end he always, always gets you flowers and makes sure he cooks at least one of your favorite meals. he keeps it simple so you won't complain but nanami is just the happiest when he's allowed to spoil you a little. he loves you sosososo much and basks in your resigned smile as soon as you come home and catch him wearing an apron. you hope he's gonna like the new watch you got him
inumaki is a little shit most of the time. he's a playful boyfriend. he enjoys banter. he loves annoying the shit outta you. but did he fall head over heels for you? does everything remind him of you all the time? does he text you pictures of red orange sunsets and weird clouds and cute puppies and his lunch 24/7? yes. doesn't like admitting it often but he's whipped. and that's precisely why his valentine's day preparations are not really preparations. he's working all year round. you look at something at a craft show? he'll get it. you're reading a book by a new author you seem to be enjoying? he'll get three more books written by them. you're into a specific type of music? he'll spend a few evenings crafting different personalized playlists. he's always ready. he always has something to give you, something he's probably picked up months before. he doesn't remember how to look at the world without noticing all the little things you'd love about it
yuuta asks you to be his girlfriend on valentine's day!!!! you've been dating & he's smitten but he thinks you want the whole thing to stay casual and he's so far from being casual lol he just can't help himself, he has to know if you're exclusive. so it's a cold cold day, you're sharing a towel on the sand at the beach and you're casually telling him about your day when his fist tightens in his pocket and he just blurts the question out. and if it isn't the softest, most wonderful âwould you want to be my girlfriend?â you've ever heard. you tease with a laugh and gently nudge his shoulder with yours. âi thought of you as my boyfriend like three dates agoâ and when i tell you this man's face lights tf up like imagine a million christmas lights sparkling on the most beautiful tree. that's yuuta looking at you. thank fuck the little chocolate tube he brought can actually be shared
#jjk#jjk headcanons#gojo headcanons#gojo x reader#itadori headcanons#itadori x reader#nanami headcanons#nanami x reader#megumi headcanons#megumi x reader#inumaki headcanons#inumaki x reader#geto headcanons#geto x reader#yuta headcanons#yuta x reader#i'm sorry these are kinda long :(#hope you enjoy them nonetheless#i had a lot of fun writing them!
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Anrir Husbandry
Husbandry tags: @egrets-not-regrets @liar-anubiass-blog @barn-anon @bleedingichorhearts @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan
@ms--lobotomy @nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog @c-u-c-koo-4-40k @the-raven-lady
@bispecsual
Edit: forgot to thank @justahuman1757 for help with some of the translations and other help
Song on repeat: Cradles by Sub Urban (also most of the remixes for this SLAP)
tw: smut, yandere, obsessive behavior, manipulation
Anrir cooed at the little human in his arms finishing up singing them back to sleep СнŃŃŃŃŃŃ.... СнŃŃŃŃŃŃ... His voice carried low and softly. It was naptime... they needed to sleep as it was good for them of course they didn't seem to realize that. His long back hair was tied back into a slightly messy bun as his nearly completely black eyes dart around the pastel colored room just looking for anything wrong. His DragÄ wanted to work with children in childcare and perhaps it took a couple of years to get here since he had first found her.
She was so much happier since he had first found her... happy about their bond... no more worry in her eyes... no more stress making her hands tremble or her loosing sleep... no more worrying about her next meal or if her car were to break... no more crying... well no more senseless crying. He puts the child down looking around at the sleeping forms but he cant help but grin as this really was all possible because of him, Anrir purrs softly at the satisfaction of how well he has done his job... and how he has covered his trail...
5 years prior
Anrir was a drifter... he drifted around as he had yet to find his own bonded, which given how some legions seemed to be more inclined to get a bond; with Night Lords being one of the ones with very few "feral" Astartes it was only a matter of time before Anrir would find his. But Anrir in all definitions was a feral Astartes having been unbonded since he arrived forty years ago. However, it was fine as Anrir hadn't spent that time just moping about he spent a majority of his time politicking and reuniting with other Terran Night Lords long dead and of course reuniting with those who were under his knife when they were aspirants and scouts which he affectionately called them his kids.
He was also using this time to take a break, a forced break, from running his warband; not that he could run it right now anyway. But he would mull over plans for when he returned back to his time period... if he did was another thought. His eyes moved up to the sky as he could smell the water gathering in the air. Which meant that the group he was with would start a debate on if they were going to settle down or continue on despite the weather. He did not care too much and decided to wander off to look around at where they were.
He walked out of the tree covering that the group was skulking through as he looked at the abandoned parking lot he had walked out into. It was rotting away neglected and abandoned as the painted lines were faded and practically gone, the pavement was cracked with plants growing through cracks; with the asphalt under his feet turning to gravel as plants come to reclaim this section of human infrastructure. And Anrir... he savored this reclamation of nature and decay of it all. Compared to the prison pit he was born into on the other side of the globe; he had already made his pilgrimage to the eventual site of his birth... a town full of people whose existence was never known as a great chasm of the guilty was there.
But that dark pit in the ground was not there now... there were no babies being born in that dark hellhole... his neck tattoo had a phantom itch as he is reminded why it was put on his neck... as he is reminded that at some point he was truly innocent... he is reminded of the hand gently petting his head... the soft voice cooing at him telling him how brave he was being... as he remembers having tears in his eyes as the ink is shoved into his skin... he gently starts to suffocate the memories of a child long gone and a woman paradoxically long dead and yet had yet to be born. His eyes flick to the far side of the quiet parking lot as a car just sits in the dark. The only other thing in this lot, far from the flickering road light... he could hear the annoying buzz of the light as it flickered... the flick... flick... flick... as it finally goes out. He moves with soft steps towards the vehicle as the summer insects scream their sonorous songs it was almost overstimulating for some of his brothers with how alive this planet felt with no foe to focus down on. Anrir felt his gums itch like he craved an oral inhalant and the way the hair on the back of his neck rose as he wandered closer not giving into the craving.
Anrir had seen many homeless humans both back in his own time and here. His eyes looked through the windows of the car seeing how it was lived in, he could hear the soft breathing akin to how someone was asleep... the slow beat of a heart was barely audible to him as the insects continued to scream their songs. There was nothing special about what he saw as it was a baseline female just buried under an assortment of clothes, a towel, a jacket, and some blanket... a bucket with a strainer lid to collect the impending rain... he chuckled at the cleverness but he understood the need to just survive. He turned to walk back to the others but something rooted him in place. He could practically taste the misery mixing with the rain. His throat tightened as it silently moved in foreign ways but he knew what he was trying to do... to mimic the noises they make at humans.
He lets out a dark chuckle as they were right... it really was something that he would know when it happened. Worry soon festered in his gut as his eyes roamed over her vehicle and while he hardly knew about how it worked he could see the signs of disrepair. His nose wrinkled for a moment as he unclipped his helmet from his hip, slipping it over his head as the rain finally let loose. He listened to the rain slap against the metal roof of the car, the way she moved inside her comfortable cocoon for a moment, and the way water was gathering in the bucket... Anrir had to do something.
You did your best to ignore the Night Lord that was hanging around. Affectionate bastards you were told as you remember those videos of just them being friendly. You shiver at the memory of that one gang member who thought he was so big... being homeless you quickly learned how sleeping near warbands meant that you had to ignore certain things... certain sounds especially at night. Astartes always scared you... you couldn't point to any incident that had happened involving them just that you got bad feelings from them... a certain type of dread. So it wasn't exactly like a fear of dogs but the way they looked and acted they were so human... why were they here... you make yourself look smaller as the Night Lord with what looked like a metal spider on his back sat next to you.
You hear him coo and trill at you trying to get your attention, his head tilting slightly as you could hear the slightly distorted trill to his voice from his helmet, and you did your best to ignore him. Eventually he did leave you alone and you had hoped that would be the last you saw him. But, every day for the next week he kept finding you... he would click and coo at you beckoning you closer with those armored claws of his. It was the last day in the week that you broke and approached him as you chose to fill your car with gas over eating and he had shown up with food. You feel tears gather with each bite as he trills down at you and you feel him hold you close... you hear his purr... you've seen this display online it was a bonding display. You do your best to not choak on the hot food as you can feel tears gather in the corner of your eyes, really the last thing you want is an Astartes bonding to you.
You feel the Astartis petting your head as you eat, trilling at you and you're certain if he wasn't in armor he would be purring. When you look up at him miserably he coos at you trying to sooth the clear distress you were in. His hands flexing each time you try to pull away from him, "You don't want me to be your bonded buddy," You finally speak up and that just breaks something in you and you feel those heavy tears roll down your cheeks even as you try to use the heel of your palm to rub your eyes clean they still fall, "I can't give you anything." Your voice cracks as you admit that.
Anrir sat there silently as you tried to reject the bond⌠he could feel it fraying at the edges like a lighter had been taken to it. But Anrir was calm even as his entire existence seemed to reel on its axis as you try to push it away. Your voice cracking gave way to the tears that ran down your face, his black eyes darting over your face as baselines crying was familiar to him given what he was but it felt so different⌠so wrong. Why are you letting her cry Anrir? A soft voice in the back of his mind seems to say. He could feel it fray more and more⌠but Anrir was aware that when a bond frays⌠it never attaches back normally. There was also a small high for him as would this be how he tasted death? Not after millennia of being alive just some mortal woman would be the death of him? He would have laughed if it actually broke but he pulled her against him and you did not make the effort to pull away⌠and so the bond repairs wrong. He did not need anything from you except you.Â
How you lean against him trying to hide away. So he was okay if you couldnât give him anything now. He didnât expect you to give him anything in the first place⌠but a wicked thought plants itself in his mind. Perhaps it was old fashioned⌠after all he watched the radical social changes in a mere 40 years and yet like always the Astartes remained unchanged. But⌠why couldnât he provide for you? Anrir was a capable Astartes and he did not survive this long by chance but memories flicker by of how generous others were towards their humans. He grinned darkly as he could recognize the signs now⌠oh⌠he had intensely bonded to you⌠he had read the manuals and grimoires both in person and on the noosphere⌠he had helped write some of those too⌠so he knew what to look for in terms of side effects and was filing away mental notes about his deviances. And as much as he wanted to act on those feelings Anrir was patient, he was an Apothacarion after all, and his DragÄ needed to be taken care of. He purrs and chirps at her to calm her down and gets her to finish her meal.
Thrones, credits, souls, cash⌠it was annoying dealing with baselines as most societies revolved around needing a good or currency for things and this was not their reality or time period where refusing an Astartes was suicidal. He noted his lack of desire to skin the man yelling at his DragÄ to get him to stop âloiteringâ. But he, like most Astartes, relied on each other and the complex network and ecosystem they built like a parasite on the infrastructure of what was already there or was it the other way around? The Iron Warriors and Imperial Fists would say they laid out efficient infrastructure⌠but he found resources; since it was no longer allowed to simply take humans as serfs anymore and just have them live in a base full time⌠not that the Night Lords had one yet. It would be a few more years till the base was operational and that would be a mustering point for most Night Lords in the area. But Anrir noted how jumpy his precious DragÄ got at the idea of getting help from Salamanders or staying in a shelter; he was fine with her choice. He wrinkled his nose as her car was falling apart and he couldnât fit in it and him being a Night Lord did not help his goal of getting money. However, Anrir had a long reputation having worked in the Consortium with Bile too being a prominent figure in his legionâs hierarchy, no matter how much he tried to stay out of the politicking, so when the Alpharii approached him he wasnât too surprised.Â
There were treaties and edicts that any Astartes had to agree to if they wanted to stay near the humans. Besides the obvious of not killing any humans; which before Anrir was bonded was a surprisingly hard ask, but they were not allowed to mettle with them. Technology was to be kept away from them at all costs, no extending their life spans, no augmetics beyond simple necessary prosthetics, and a few others. It all made sense as it was clear they were not ready at all for the horrors of the wider galaxy⌠no they would not play a hand into accidentally smothering humanity in the cradle because they helped them reach the stars earlier than they were ready for. But just like how human killers existed⌠and Night Lord trafficker Hunts happened⌠there was always some bending and breaking of these rules.
The Alpharii couldnât help mettle in the affairs of the baselines, it was their legionâs expertise, they were information brokers and information hiders⌠they modified records to hide the sudden birth of a child from a woman and a Astartes⌠to all the way of covering up when forbidden technology falls into the hands of baselines and there needs to be a raid. They had their fingers in many pies as the saying goes⌠and Anrir could not play the moral high ground for their request. They werenât supposed to extend the baselines lives⌠there was the crude method of giving them a transfusion of Astartes blood and hope they survive all the way to getting the chemicals and components needed for rejuvenation treatments. The latter took time to get what they needed as they could only synthesis so much being limited to what was only on this one planet; and it was hard to keep the Iron Hands from getting eager in âhelpingâ them be able to colonize the Sol system.Â
But⌠Anrir looked down at the old corrupt man. Such greedy creatures humans could be and Anrir could never be like his kin who were able to see themselves as being above humanity⌠Anrir was far too aware of his own humanity and also his own lack of humanity too. âHow do I know it will work?â The old man interrupts Anrirâs explanation of what he will be doing in transplanting his heart, âYou could be some⌠con artist.â He says with malice in his frail voice.
Anrir never liked nobles⌠and he was always surprised at how⌠self important they could be. His smooth voice answers the question before one of the Alpharii can speak, âMy reputation,â He had asked the Alpharii before this and he was not bonded to any of them⌠he was very much a pawn that the Alpharii werenât ready to loose yet, âyour⌠companions wouldnât have gotten me if they doubted my skills. The heart is made for you so there is no chance of rejection.â He says truthfully as it was child's play growing the organ for him.
Anrir voxes one of the Alpharii, âAs for my payment for this?â He hisses letting his displeasure bleed through as how dare he speak to Anrir in such a way.
âEverything is set up in ways that wonât tip off the government officials to the sudden influx of wealth. And conveniently set up so that if you choose to help us againâŚâÂ
Anrir waved his armored hand over his shoulder as his medical mechadendrites unfolded like a spider on his back, âYes yes you lot have me for several surgeries,â He goes through the process of setting everything for fine movements and working on humans, âBut please be aware should anything go wrong in the payments that I can be quite spiteful.â He threatens and enjoys the place of power he is able to come from given how specialists are in such short supplies here and he is certain there is only one other Consortium member on the planet⌠he knows his expertise is invaluable he is certain he is on many lists to be kept alive.
âOf course Anrir.â Is all one says and that was good enough as Anrir headed into the prepared room.
You were happy that Anrir returned as he did keep you safe and maybe you were feeling those good vibes that people always say they get around Astartes. But now? You looked at what was holding out to you with apprehension. Youâre sure that it was a thousand dollars in his hand and you felt hesitant to take it from him as no one just gives people money and not expecting something back⌠your spine crawls at a memory⌠He just sighs looking at you passively and perhaps a little annoyed, âDragÄ. Go get your car looked at and get it fixed.â He says and you take the money from him as your AC had died and youâre certain that also meant your heating was gone⌠âUnless,â Your eyes returned to his face as your eyes picked up the bit of white at the roots of his sideburns, âYou want to get a bigger vehicle?â
âBut I canât-â You start.
âDonât worry about money for a second DragÄ.â He says putting his hands on your shoulders.
You squirm under his gaze as you considered rejecting it as Anrir gave you such feelings that there was something else he was after⌠then again you never felt truly comfortable around Astartes⌠always a lingering sense of dread but⌠âMaybe⌠maybe we get something you can fit in as well. Wouldnât that be nice?â You say softly as youâre certain those cars are far beyond what you can afford and from what you heard basically never break down.Â
You hold your breath for a moment as Anrir cups your face, you could hear him trill at you, as he grinned down at you with a smile that youâre certain the devil himself would envy, âWhat a thoughtful DragÄ.â Was all he cooed at you.
After that, with much fussing from him, he made you use the money to stay in a motel for a week and you donât remember when the last time you ate so much food. Anrir in the meanwhile took care of things. You were torn on letting him do such as wasnât this the reason you had a fallout with your family? Your hands shake at the memories⌠he ruined your life. Yet while youâre certain Anrir is doing the same thing⌠it feels different. Anrir only suggested what you use the money for never using it to tell you what to do⌠Anrir confused you but you took comfort in the thought that he wanted something from you that he could get at your absolute lowest⌠everyone says bonds are precious things so maybe you should trust him more.
Anrir makes sure he always has enough money on him as he was making sure that there was a positive association in your mind that he was able to provide for you. The fuss you made when he got the car customized so that you could live out of it as long as you wanted, he hopped it wouldnât be much longer, but it was your choice and all he could do was nudge his DragÄ. The excitement he felt rush up his spine when he heard you say âAnrirâ in a specific tone⌠a tone he associated with his DragÄ needing something⌠DragÄ needed him to provide. Sometimes you were like a skittish animal only staying for the exchange but sometimes you lingered like an animal and he could get what he wanted from you too. He felt that dopamine rush as you tolerated his touches, the joy he felt when you let him cup your face, how loudly he purred as you let him nuzzle you, petting your head, or rubbing your back. He could still see the hesitation in your eyes⌠he could tell you werenât as (warp blind) (bond blind) as other humans were and Anrir is fine with that in fact it made this all the more enjoyable for him.
Winter always comes too soon and once again Anrir brings up places you can stay over the colder months and as hard as you try you still canât get rid of the feelings that if you acquiesce he will want something. Anrir himself is disappointed that you wont ask him for much more; he does use winter to get something he does want. He finally gets to hold you for as long as he wants, usually your whole sleep cycle. Heâs slept in far worse spots and just being a little cramped is hardly anywhere near the list of worst rests he has had. He purrs loudly as youâre glued to his side or his chest at night. Cooing to you as you drift off each night with a full belly in his arms. Its hard not to drift off with how he purrs and the rhythmic beating of his twin hearts⌠this feels like itâs going to be an easy winter for once so of course you get sick as a dog.
âPoor DragÄ.â Anrirâs voice breaks you through your sick haze as the chills donât help but Anrir being so warm helps. âI know you wonât like this suggestion but as a health specialist I do recommend that perhaps it is time for you to live inside more regularly again?â You can barely hear the quiet engine over the Heater going, Anrir not allowing you to fuss about anything right now once more saying he had it under control, âArata mizerabil... (Miserable lookingâŚ)â He says in Nostroman letting his tongue click as you bury yourself closer to his chest, feeling those ports dig into your skin, âAt least something temporary, yes?â He says sounding a little worried, âWouldnât that be nice? A temporary place to stay till you find what you want to do?â
âDaycare.â You croak out.
âHmm?â Anrir looks down at you cocking his head to the side surprised you answered him.Â
âI want to take care of kids. I like taking care of kids. Donât know why⌠so I want to start a daycare.â You say but you soon get weepy, âBut who is going to let me do that. Look at me! Iâm living in my car running away from my family and I canât -â You stop your distressed rant as you cough and your nose plugs up again making it hard for you to breath and you canât help but squirm in Anrirâs grip.
âShh DragÄ, Iâll take care of you.â Anrir says softly a uncharacteristic gentleness in his voice you werenât expecting from a Night Lord, âYou donât need to worry anymore, DragÄ.â Again itâs a soft and warmth to his voice you didnât know he could have, âDo you trust me?â He asks in a tone you have trouble reading.Â
Bonds are supposed to be good things⌠thatâs what everyone says⌠you have a companion for life⌠and you can tell that they get so much out of what we give them as they were clearly made for something far more violent. But⌠did you trust Anrir. No⌠you did not trust him as that feeling never goes away⌠âWhat do you want Anrir?â You finally say after a minute of silence.
âYou, DragÄ.â Anrir says quickly breathlessly.
Again you lay there silently thinking⌠you didnât know what he wanted⌠was it really just being with you? Youâve been with him for months at this point and you couldnât figure out what he wanted. You did research on bonds from what little you could find and everything kept coming back to just wanting to keep their bonded alive and safe. You were scared to let someone in your safe little world but you were so tired of keeping everything so tight to your chest. Maybe it was because you were sick but you nod and let out a heavy sigh softly saying, âI trust you Anrir.â
His reaction was immediate as he pressed his cheek to yours and you could feel the purring in your teeth as it was so loud, your finger bones felt like they were vibrating, but you didnât feel the quick kisses that he leaves on your skin. You whimper at the sudden affection. It was anrirâs quirk as he was odd with his affection as whenever you would seek him out for affection he would smother you in his affection but you were okay with it because it was on your terms⌠your gut wouldnât stop at the feeling that sometimes it was on his terms luring you in⌠He presses a kiss to your forehead trilling, his accent thick, âI donât want you to worry any more my DragÄ. I will take care of everything.â His black eyes seem to glitter in delight as he makes his declaration. And you just let go of that tension a bit more.
You donât know how Anrir found this place, it had a horribly short lease but you knew that it was just to get you out of the weather⌠youâre certain this place wasnât built for Astartes in mind so usually that meant they werenât allowed. You guessed that the landlord looked the other way if said Astartes was paying in cash. It was small and cramped... but it was warm and you could store more than just a bit of food. You were sitting in the tub as Anrir sat on the side shirtless as his hands were massaging shampoo into your hair. You didn't need help with your hair but that didn't stop you from leaning into his hands as he helped you feel clean.
Anrir chuckled at your gentle groaning and moaning as it was clear you were enjoying yourself. He enjoyed helping you feel this way helping you clean and take care of you in this small way... he shivered as he was cleaning his DragÄ... he wrapped his DragÄ in a nice fluffy towel... he carried his DragÄ to the bedroom and savored the laugh that left your mouth as he just tossed you onto the bed with a bounce.
You just laid there, eyes closed, enjoying yourself... sure there was only one bed which was fine as you had spent most of the winter snuggling up to Anrir in the car, it was not the most comfortable mattress in the world... the apartment was quiet...no it was never quiet not with the thin walls... but Anrir was quiet. You became aware of how you were just laying naked on the bed... alarms were going off in your head as you feel his smooth hands run over your knees, feeling his thumbs push into the side as he spreads your legs open slowly. This wasn't normal... and yet this felt like what everything was building up too... but you were always told that bonds were selfless things, right?
Your skin trembles as his hands move over your drying flesh, your breathing shivers, you can feel the bed shift as Anrir climbs onto it. Your throat bobs as you swallow the nervous energy but your eyes open as you feel the bare skin of his legs as he had divested himself of his pants. Anrir's silent still as he presses his scarred lips against your cheek, his body leaning over yours as he settles between your legs, and you feel his hand move to your chin to slowly turn you to meet him. His lips dragging against your flesh as the scarred flesh presses against your own lips. You were close enough that you could tell that his eyes were not fully black... you could see the dark blue of his iris darting with micromovements as he took in your face. But, you could see the predator in his eyes... but it was something more the term hyper-predator comes to mind because what monsters would someone like Anrir need to hunt?
Anrir presses his mouth to yours more and you close your eyes allowing the kiss to deepen. Anrir had been nothing but good to you... but you worry... would he use this against you? You desperately hope that he wouldn't. "Mina..." His voice rumbles like thunder as his hands drag across your flesh in a way that feels dominant and possessive. You can't stop the shuddering moan that leaves your mouth as his mouth moves against the front of your neck, licking the way your throat moves in its swallowing motion. "Toate ale mele⌠(All mine...)" He says whispering to you in a language that you don't know, "Fiecare parte din tine⌠toatÄ a mea⌠trupul Či sufletul tÄu. (Every part of you... all mine... your body and your soul.)" He says again as Anrir presses his cock against your entrance. His mouth continuing its worship of your neck and chin as you open your eyes slightly and just watch Anrir with lidded eyes. He cups your face as his tongue presses hard on your lower lip before pushing his tongue back into your mouth just kissing you hard.
You knew you had fringe thoughts about Astartes... Anrir was just proving to you one thing... that they were far too human to ignore. Far too human and far too predatory... you could never get that feel good emotion from Anrir... from any Astartes really. They were all predators... they were man made monsters made to fight monsters that you didn't know would exist beyond the silver screen of Hollywood or the writings of horror writers. He pulls his mouth away trilling at you and pausing when he sees the look on your face. You were looking at a predator looking at prey a malicious looking thing that tried to play the part of a friendly thing... a wolf playing the role of a dog. "Anrir."
"Yes DragÄ." He says as a hand cups your face.
"What do you want?" You again ask... because... you don't think he's lying about the bond but this wasn't normal? You felt everything rushing anxiously to a point.
"You, DragÄ." He says devotedly.
You were tired... so tired of being on your own for years before Anrir came. Oh how much Anrir had helped beyond just the money he gave you and the food... just being here... even if it was wrong... even if... you were so tired. You pull Anrir into a kiss as you didn't want to think anymore! You didn't want to worry any more... you whimper as Anrir just purrs loudly as you decide to let Anrir take care of it... take care of you... just for today you tell yourself as you melt into the embrace.
You feel the slight discomforting sensation of your walls spreading open as his cock slowly pushes in. When it becomes too much your hand or foot pushes against his chest which makes him stop till your brow stops furrowing and you for him to continue. This continues until his hips are flush with yours and Anrir hisses in delight, "Atât de strâns atât de bine cu mine⌠draga mea⌠a mea. (So tight so good to me... my dear... mine.)" You once more don't understand him but you decide to not worry about it as he starts moving. Your thighs burn slightly at the stretch to have them spread open wide for Anrir to thrust into you. Your eyes close as you focus on the feeling and enjoy that he doesn't ask you to look at him but that doesn't stop him from talking, "MÄ simČi fatÄ frumoasÄ? (Do you feel me pretty girl?)" He trills in that unknown tongue, "Te concentrezi pe penisul meu din interiorul tÄu? (Are you focused on my cock inside of you?)" He asks something else perhaps not realizing or caring that you don't understand him.
He picks up the pace as he pants down at you and you just yowl and moan in pleasure. Porn making everything feel so fake when real sex sounds so unsexy at times but you had no need to make things sound sexy or be perfect. You could hear Anrir chuckle at an unflattering noise you make as he slams his hips into yours again making you repeat it. Eventually things feel tighter and more anxious as Anrir tilts you slightly so his cock pushes into you at a downward angle and you just laugh at the unflattering squeak and squawk that you make. Anrir laughs with you at all those weird and all those distinctively you vocalizations but you just don't care as no one is telling you that you're being unappealing... you throw your head back and arch up as you earned the right to not worry. You moan loudly moaning his name as you feel so good! You earned this reward! You deserve this... you deserve to just let go... you orgasm with little fan fair... just a simple gasp.
You feel so good... everything feels so good as Anrir continues to chase his release, the feeling of a bed against your back, the fuzzy climbdown from an orgasm, the oily drop of sweat from Anrir that lands on your shoulder, and the comforting stutter from him that stutter causes you to open your eyes to watch his brow furrow and you watch how surprisingly expressive he gets as he cums.
The apartment is mostly quiet... as quiet as you can get with thin walls... you lay there with him not thinking about anything... not thinking as you feel his cock softening against your inner thigh. He lets out a loud breath as he lays back in bed in his spot as you meanwhile are pushing away the worry about the consequences of sleeping with Anrir. You cuddle against his side, his arm wrapping around you, you feel the cum ooze out of you ... you're still tired of thinking... you're so tired of it... so tired of worrying why and what Anrir was doing for money... You put your head against his chest over his hearts ignoring the discomfort of the ports against your face... you just listen to the way his hearts beat.
Present day
You were in a much better spot than when you were a couple of years ago... you actually came into money, no it wasn't a rich distant relative dying but it was another person you had camped with when you were homeless. They had actually won the lottery and were being smart with it, which you think was more so their Ultramarine had helped in making smart choices. Though you had your suspicions... the Alpharii... a few seem to come by every few months some to coo at the kids, eager to find a bonded, and some to talk with Anrir as you watched them take containers from your home. But being given money you sudden just kept finding yourself with more money and it was stupid how much money you got after investing some of it... you didn't want to question it and Anrir was very good at distracting you.
Oh speaking of Anrir... he got you so many gifts. He would still give you random bouts of cash but he was finally acting more and more like how a bonded Astartis is supposed to act. You also were seeing how talented he was with his hands as besides his occupation you discovered his macabre hobby that all Night Lords seem to have... bone scrimshawing and taxidermy. You could point out all the time that he acted like a normal bonded Astartis and yet at the same time... how many gestures were more. You got outfits, jewelry, wines, your current house, and hell even your job you know he had a hand in financing... it spiraled out of control with his gifts that your friends noticed and asked who your 'sugar daddy' was or rather if he had any friends.
You smile warmly and wave goodbye as the last child finally gets picked up. You head back inside letting out a soft exhale and start picking up the room not getting very far into cleaning up when Anrir wraps his arms around you and purrs into your shoulder... purring into where he tattooed you years ago. You feel him give a playful tug onto the choker collar that he made for you, expensive thing and you know he liked you wearing it. You were lucky that no one asked you what Anrir was... everyone just assumed he was a Raven Guard...
"I can smell your worry DragÄ." He says nipping your earlobe.
"I'm just tired Anrir."
"Then lets go home." He kisses your cheek.
"But I have stuff to pick up-"
"And this is why we hire others to clean," He says gentle cocking his head to the side, "You're worried about something." Anrir takes the toy from your hands as you pick at the seams.
You let out a heavy sigh bringing your thumb to your lips, "I'm just scared everything is about to go wrong." Anrir takes your hand to stop you from biting your nails.
"And if it does... I will take care of it." Anrir says with such certainty and authority that makes you believe him.
The breath in your chest you let out with a heavy sigh, "Okay." You nod.
He tugs on your choker bringing you close for a kiss as he trills softly, "I will always take care of you my frumoasÄ dragÄ (beautiful darling)." And you chose to believe it.
#space marine husbandry sentience#warhammer 40k#oc: Anrir#darling: Draga#carnal bond#intense bond#yandere bond#tw: smut#tw yandere#tw: obsessive behavior#I have been working on this for so long#the smut was debatable on adding it#but the longer this took to get out the more I was like#âFuck itâ#because momrad hasn't been able to write a lot#and so its like here's some smut guys#also Raven being super ovulating right now and just being unwell for my guy so yeah another thing to convince me to keep the smut in it#also sorry about the POV switching between Draga and Anrir#I enjoy letting people see what both of them think and feel and I know its probably messy but just... yeah#no beta we die like horus#no beta we die like sanguinius#no beta we die like ferrus#no beta we die like the emperor#these tags are a mess#these tags are getting silly#im just so happy that im finally done with this and can move onto other projects
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