#but i dont want anyone assuming bad of anyone else except for this

[catlokis-blog]

I feel like I owe the HLVRAI fandom a proper apology - specifically to those who interacted with me directly on a fan server where I was less than kind and, frankly, handled situations with a very self-centered attitude and came off as very aggressive when bringing up issues I had.

I will be explaining the reasoning behind some of these actions, but first and foremost I will be making them known & holding myself accountable. For personal comfort, this will be put under a readmore.

First and foremost I would like to say that this is entirely done by me. I have not told my friends I would be apologizing nor can I apologize for their similarly rude behavior. I’ve been reflecting by myself, and although it may seem like this happened quickly, I assure you that I’m going to be completely honest here.

My first apology is for making multiple people uncomfortable in said fan server. I was not told how at the moment, and all I can do is guess on how it happened. I will list my assumptions and what happened.

The first major reason I can think of is due to the way I handled a situation involving a tumblr user who was in a group roleplay with a friend of mine. Said friend is 15 years old and the user is in their early 20s. I will not be listing names because there was no fault other than personal discomfort. 

Said adult would jokingly refer to their characterization of a specific character as “homoerotic”. The 15 year old was getting discomforted by this joke, so I told them that I would bring it up for them. Nothing sexual was explicitly done within the roleplay, but I handled the situation as if it was about to happen and did not give any benefit of the doubt to anyone involved in said group roleplay. 

Another reason I have made people uncomfortable was my aggressiveness when setting boundaries. Specifically, I had set a boundary requesting people with boob-related usernames that I perceived as majorly sexual due to words being used such as “boingahongers”. This was a kneejerk reaction I had, specifically lashing out at a member trying to resolve the situation with me instead of listening to the other side.

I also used, specifically, the word faggot in that server. Originally, it was not explicitly against the rules, so it was a result of miscommunication. HOWEVER, once the rule was put in place, I would state things along the lines of “I can’t say this/it here” when referring to the slur. I would like to note that it was in regards to me identifying as a faggot for my identity, but I was told people were uncomfortable with the word in there, and I should have known better to allude to it.

The only thing I do not personally agree with is implying that I was discussing art theft in the server. What I was considering within that server was darkening the skin tone of art I liked - with permission from the artists - to use as personal icons. It was phrased poorly and light-heartedly with my friends, which definitely caused miscommunication, but my intent was not to steal and manipulate the artwork.

Any dogpilling I was a part of was not intentional on my end, and instead read to me as standing up for my friends. However, it came off as dogpiling in the end, and people were becoming afraid to communicate with me. As someone who finds communication very important due to a misunderstanding of social cues and a distrust of tone tags, I sincerely apologize for making everyone uncomfortable in that server.. 

TL;DR, I was a complete ass to the people within that server, and I have caused further issue by refusing to block the people I did not want to interact with nor see the content of on Tumblr. 

I will be keeping everyone I mentioned here anonymous. Most of them have me blocked, and may not be able to see this in the end, but I thought it was important to officially address my behaviour and perhaps give some closure to the people I’ve hurt.

I will attempt to remedy this,and work on my social courtesy and communication skills in the future. Only time will tell if I am successful, and I would appreciate if those who decide to stay in contact with me despite my behavior would help me keep on the path of becoming a nicer person.

[gammija]

ive been trying for 30 mins to write a post about why the Web's plan is still confusing, but I think I should face the truth and admit to myself that it's not that it makes no sense, it's just... so convoluted

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

[3liza]

i was looking at the pics of other dogs that are reputed to be German Shepherd + Labrador mixes like Churchgrim (although some are clearly not just lab + shep lol) and reading descriptions of their personalities and behavior, and after having grim a while i do really recommend the german shepherd/labrador retriever mix as an easy, trainable dog with (usually) a good mellowing of the worst traits of either breed. all the descriptions of the dogs that are clearly just a shep/lab are the same as grim, with the exception that others' dogs seem to need more exercise than grim does

they tend to be very intelligent, but not border collie-level obsessive, and have a little of the GSD drive, but the anxiety that often makes GSDs insane is seriously chilled out by the dopey labrador genes. grim will woof at strange noises but is otherwise completely silent, not tending to whine and yodel like GSDs do. he will immediately stand down when he finds out what alarming noises are. he is unbothered by fireworks. he's suspicious of strangers approaching the house, which i want, but has never been aggressive and is extremely friendly when in public and when introduced to people. he is gentle with children and anyone with physical disabilities, giving them space. the shedding situation is bad, but the odor and drooling are very minimal. you dont get stinky matted bib fur or runny eyes. he likes food enough to respond well to food rewards for training, but not so much that he will chew open a cooler and eat everything inside like labs tend to do. he's big, but perfectly comfortable in an apartment with a few short play sessions a day and two walks. he's not greasy like labs tend to be, but still wont soak up water if he walks in the rain, you can just have him shake before he comes in or briefly towel him and he's dry. dirt and water and detritus falls off easily, no matting, and he never gets too cold. he has excellent weather tolerance generally, although he dislikes being hot. he likes to play and run, but only for about 10 minutes, and has never objected to long distance walking, but most of the time he just wants to hang out around the house. he learns new words and commands instantly. he clearly is bonded to me above everyone else, but isnt pushy or clingy and will obey commands from other people politely. he enjoys a hug or a petting, but doesn't invade my personal space or beg for constant attention and contact. he has no separation pathology and can be crated without stress or left alone for several hours without any issue.

he's just a very easy dog. i never had any of the issues people seem to have with puppies or training or toileting or anything. aside from his lumps (lab trait) and allergies (GSD trait) he has essentially no problems.

i mention this because this type of dog gets passed over at shelters a lot, and there are a LOT of them at shelters. because theyre large and just look like generic "dogs", which is boring, and people tend to assume their size means they cant be indoor, apartment potato dogs, and overlook them for flashier, more exotic adoptees, they get euthanized a lot. the latter reason, looks, is a really stupid way to pick someone who's going to live with you in your house for 15 years. what you want, what everyone actually wants, is a dog that can hang. you want a dog you can take places who will not embarrass you, and can go without exhausting grooming upkeep without developing health problems, a dog that wont bark at people through your fence, who can be trusted to be left in a (not hot) car or a yard or an apartment alone for short periods, who can sit on the porch and greet the mailman politely, but who will just as easily kill a home invader. you want a dog who never barks unless it's important. this kind of intelligence is really rare in dogs. theyre usually just kinda in their own world, no matter how much they love you. this type of "can parse most english sentences and respond" and "understands situational context and subtext" type of intelligence is much rarer, and i think it's a common trait of this particular breed mixture.

[princesable]

hi welcome to my post. my post of charlie game plot summary. because i realized no such post exists. so like. here we are. charlie game has a plot. you wouldnt know this because i keep forgetting to mention it as i have a horrible habit of just assuming people know. for some reason.

so the story starts as all memorable stories do. someone fucking dying. i could not think of any other way to open this. basically sherwin ends up causing a freak accident that ends with twitch's best friend getting killed badly. he then immediately goes into hiding as you do.

twitch kind of assumes he also died because he just vanished without a trace so like. what else would have happened. one day sherwin makes the brilliant decision to leave his house for the first time in like a year or so (i have not decided on how long ok. its long enough) and twitch almost immediately spots him and is like Oh i need to kill him right fucking now. they start chasing after him but due to his abilities (being relatively fast) he gets away. and twitch is like. ok. what the fuck. i need to go tell the 4 (four) people i know that sherwin isnt actually dead so i can get them to help me track his ass down and kill him. so he will actually be dead.

luckily for twitch they exclusively know people who are Fucking Weird and always open to violence because they have nothing better to do or theyre clyde who is convinced hes a super villain. fox is also there but shes mostly ambivalent on this due to not really. knowing any of them. henry and terrence are also there and theyre not really invested either but they think it sounds fun. so theyre down for whatever. important thing to note is that none of them are really taking this as seriously as twitch. everyone else kind of just views this as a "game". subtle reference to the fact this will be a video game.

so twitch is like ok i have. no idea where the fuck he could have gone. so we're all gonna split up and look for him. feel free to do whatever you want as long as you bring sherwin back to me so i can kill him badly. and everyone hears this as "have fun with it be yourself" so instead of setting up traps like normal people they essentially set up. attractions? meant to lure him in so they can mess with him a bit before grabbing him and taking him home. except for fox shes just watching everyone. plotting or something. she says shes plotting.

sherwin on the other hand runs into sam and ellie who are just completely unrelated. they dont know anyone involved. so the only side theyre getting is "weird dude shows up out of nowhere who is clearly running from something and looks absolutely terrified" so they decide to tag along with him so he doesnt immediately fall down a flight of stair or something. also because it means they get to go on a road trip weeeeeeee (they are actively on the run)

and thats the prologue. basically. every chapter/act/whatever you feel like calling them will focus on one of the "attractions" and which ever guy is assigned to them. and how they are really really bad at their jobs. tldr: sherwin fucked up reaaaaaaaaaaaally bad and now everyone wants him dead. it is up to viewer interpretation if this is fair. personally i think its funny.

^ i think hes funny

[sturniolo-alfredo]

Bad idea

Summary: Matthew sturniolo and Y/N Y/L/N are sworn enemies. They absolutely hate eachother. That all changes in one night, when matt gets a little too jealous.

Warnings: crying? Creepy man, cussing (think that's it)

Y/n's pov.

Me, matt, nick, and chris were all getting ready for a party we were gonna attend.I walk up the stairs from chris' room. "You guys ready?." I ask. Everybody nods their head. "Your really gonna go out wearing that?" Matt asks me in a bitchy tone. I was wearing a silk black dress that was short and barely covered my ass. "Yeah. You got something you wanna say about?" I clap back at matt. Matt just rolls his eyes and walks outside to the car.

We all get into the car. I'm sat in the back with Nick and mat and chris are in the front. "Can I have aux?" I ask, sick of the silence. "Yea-" Chris says before matt cuts him off "no y/n, no you cant" Matt says. "Well I wasn't asking you, dipshit" I yell at matt.

I snatch the phone from chris and start playing 'friends' by chase Atlantic. Matt slowly starts bopping his head to the song. "Not so mad now, huh?" I ask matt, teasing him. "Oh shut the fuck up" Matt says, rolling his eyes. "Matt! Don't speak to hear that way!" Nick yells. Matt scoffs but stays silent.

We arrive at the party and I start to wander off. I soon realize that I don't really know anyone here. I look around the room uncomfortably. 'Why did I even come?' I think to myself. Tears well in my eyes, I had nothing to cry about. I just didn't like anything at the party anymore and knowing that I had nothing to distract me made me even more upset.

I was just about to walk outside when I feel someone grab my arm. I turn around and see a random guy who was clearly drunk. "Hey honey, wanna have some fun?" The stranger asks. I laugh awkwardly "um no..I'm okay..I was actually just about to leave." I say. The guys grip gets stronger "leave? Why would you want to leave? The party just started" the man slurred. The tears I was holding back start flowing down my face. I was very embarrassed and I just wanted to leave. "Listen, I jus wanna go home, please let me go." I cry. The man opens his mouth to say something when he gets cut off.

"Let go of her." Matt's stern voice says. I turn to my right and see him glaring at the guy. "And what if I dont?" The creep smiles at matt. "If you don't, I will take off my shoelace and strangle you with it until your purple. Let her go, now." Matt says, stepping closer. The man let's go and glares at matt before walking away. I look a matt "um..thank you." I say, wiping my tears. Matt's eyes soften when he sees me "are you okay?" He asks, softly. I immediately start crying again. "No. I wanna go home" I sob. Matt nods and walks me outside. I assume matt was gonna keep walking to the car but he stops.

I turn around. Matt beckons me to come over. I walk right infront of him. "Did he do anything else to you? Because if he did, I will walk back in there and actually kill him" Matt says angry, looking me dead in the eyes. "No. I promise" I say gently. I move hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ear. Matt nodded his head and looks in my eyes again. Except this time it's different. There was no hatred in his eyes. No anger. Instead, it was concern. But not just concern. It was..love?

My eyes flick from Matt's eyes to his lips. His beautiful pink lips. "Eyes are up here, princess" Matt says smiling. I immediately look back into his blue eyes. Matt Leans in closer. So do I. "This is a bad idea" I whisper, leaning in closer.

"I know.." Matt says closing the gap between us and kissing me.

_______________________________________________

( Hiiii my name is kiley and I'm sorta new to writing. Please please please tell me how this was. I'll write anything. I just need requests. Love you bye!!!)

[dwtdog]

im really really stressed about how it will go,

i dont i just, support system wise i have almost nothing

these guys are kinda it and one person whos neutral

its just the aftermath, i dont know if everything will be okay and i get so stressed about it

my tummy issues been fucking me up man

anon :( i'll do my best to give u some general advice, but if u need anything please don't be afraid to dm me <3

the thing that really helps me through these type of situations is sitting with myself and thinking okay, what's the most likely thing that's going to happen, and how am i going to feel about that.

to start with what i think will be the outcome, the only things we know for certain that are going to happen are caiti's final statement/stream, and george's final statement.

based on what caiti has said, her final stream is going to be more general, and i assume she's going to discuss the problems with misogyny within the mcyt space, or something similar, along with the future of her content. i do not think she will say anything more directly about the situation, and if she does i don't think it will be new information, except to maybe clear up the story ghostie told

for george's statement, judging by what the rational sides of the internet are calling for and his most recent tweet, i think he is going to give a sincere apology, no matter what form that may come in, along with some sort of private, personal apology to caiti that we may never see. some people will accept what he has to say, and others will continue to call him terrible names that do not fit the situation at all. and from there, we move onward (press w :3)

i can't predict how you're going to react to these events happening, but if a look at myself, i know that i'll probably watch caiti's stream as a vod, so i can give myself time to pause and take breaks. i want to try to watch the stream before seeing others input, so i can form my own opinions without going in feeling overly negative/positive.

worse case scenario- she says something that completely puts me off the space as a whole. i don't know what that would be, maybe just some observations she's made as a female creator in the space that puts a bad taste in my mouth, and i no longer feel comfortable being here at all. in that case, i disengage completely, or let myself sit and think on it for a bit before coming to a final decision

best case scenario (realistically)- caiti does her stream, and she talks about many of the things we already know about as problems with the space, and we take that as closure from the whole thing, and send our love and support.

when george's response comes, rinse and repeat. take the time to read/watch through it without the influence of others, and come to you own conclusion before looking what anyone else has to say. do not look at twitter. if you feel that his response is satisfying to you- however that may be- than assess how active you wish to be in the community going forward, what you want to spend your time doing online. and then we heal together, as a community.

and eventually, things will get better. dream and george might take hiatuses, but i find it very, very unlikely they'll quit entirely. eventually, we'll get titan videos and the plethora of shorts and content that dream has planned, even if a wrench has been thrown into the plans

obviously, we can never predict unexpected elements, but i genuinely believe that if something big were going to drop, it would have already. don't let the behind the scenes bullshit get you down, because it always comes from ccs who either hold grudges or are trying to save their own skin/get views

hope this helps at least a little bit, but please, please reach out if you need anything. no matter the responses caiti and george give, i'll stick around to talk to u guys

[nerves-nebula]

oo I was wondering if maybe the brothers in your AU would have different levels of food anxiety? Honestly I was thinking mostly Raph, considering he's the oldest, largest (at least body weight wise it seems?) and probably expends the most energy taking care of his brothers and doing most of the chores when he was younger.

Probably especially bad that Leo could bully food from any one else and get away with it, and sounds like he might've picked on Raph most in that regard, or if Leo took Donnie or Mikey's food Raph was more willing to split or even give his portions away.

That's assuming Splinter even fed them, which considering the "timeout corner" they might have had to forage for food more than once.

Because like I was thinking about the dynamic between Raph and Casey and how Raph's food anxiety could be what helped drive him to make sure Casey had at least some food (he knows how much it sucks and doesn't want someone else to be stuck like that) and how Casey could have a big impact on Raph if he helped Raph to have a more stable source of food/ate enough.

<- also kinda related thoughts. Raph might be smaller in your version because he didn't get all the nutrition he needed growing up so his height/size is stunted? Also maybe why Leo is the tallest (favourite child privileges?). Hunger might have also helped drive Raph to try running away?

<- I could definitely see Mikey and/or Donnie having food anxiety too, with either food hoarding or getting aggressive when they think someone will steal their food? Or fast eating.

<- Basically I am ROTATING THEM IN MY HEAD!!

OHHHH this is an ask i have so much personal investment in because here’s a Not Super Secret fact about me, I’ve got Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder! And (partially because of that) I starved a lot as a kid! BASICALLY me and all my siblings have weird relationships to food so I am FULLY committed to making these guys relationships with food weird as well.

Splinter DOES feed them, in that there is FOOD in the HOUSE which is EDIBLE. He doesn’t really cook for them, though. Raph’s been cooking for them since he was old enough to take on that job, though he mostly made easy stuff at first like sandwiches/soup/noodles/uncooked vegetables.

So lets go through each turtle and look at how things turned out, why dont we?

Leo: Leo has the least food issues of them all. To him, it’s more like a status thing. If he wants something, he’ll take it. It doesn’t matter if there’s only enough soup for them to each have one bowl, he’ll have two if he feels like it. He does it because he knows he can get away with it, and because it’s been normalized. It doesn’t feel like a huge issue/violation to him.

Mikey: Mikey binges/eats food as fast as possible. He doesn’t wanna give anyone the chance to take it from him. He’s the least discerning and will eat stuff even if it’s kind of rotten/stale. He doesn’t have the self restraint to hoard food, he’d just eat it all immediately. Mikey gets reasonably aggressive about his food, but wouldn’t actually hurt his brothers (except maybe Leo) to get it back. then again his brothers (except leo) typically wouldn't take it from him anyway.

Donnie: Donnie has a ton of texture issues and because of that he’s a picky eater, he’s starved the most second only to Raph, because even when there IS food he can’t always get himself to eat it. he’s more used to the pain of starvation than the disgust of eating something with a Bad Texture

(shoutout to MYSELF. I was really out here dying as a 12 year old, huh? Fully eating 1 sandwich a day and crying about it cause the bread felt gross and dry in my mouth.)

Donnie is prone to hoarding food, but keeps it hidden in various places because if Leo thought Donnie had more food than him, he’d try to steal it. So Donnie keeps his stashes secret, but will share food if he thinks the others REALLY need it. Because Donnie can only eat specific kinds of food, he’s very aggressive about protecting his food from others. But he can’t beat Leo in a fight, so he usually resorts to hiding the food.

Donnie has slight cannibalistic urges because of all that (and cause he’s a softshell lol), but it’s not a huge issue and he’d never act on them cause the idea/texture of eating another PERSON is repulsive. He’ll often just chew on something (even himself) to tide himself over. 

Raph: poor, beautiful Raph. Raphael, my darling boy. SO FIRST OF ALL Raph starved the most. If Leo took more than his fair share, Raph would split his portion for his little brothers, because to him taking care of them is his whole reason for being alive.

he has cannibalistic urges too, cause he starves the most (and cause he's a snapping turtle). and that makes him feel like a terrible person. Donnie and Mikey get these urges too, but they never starved quite as bad as Raph did because he’d always split his food with them.

I like the idea that Raph is stunted because of nutritional issues, so yknow what? I'm adopting that. it's canon now.

as for Raph and Casey,,, I think they would definitely share food. In fact, I think Raph would leave Casey food/snacks as gifts when he was trying to befriend him. Casey eventually bringing along food from above ground would be a GAME CHANGER for the turtles, too.

one correction: Donnie is actually the tallest! He just slouches a lot (and I've mostly drawn them as kids, before his growth spurt)

Man, sidenote, but writing this really got me thinking about my childhood more. If we didn't get enough to eat, mom would get mad at us like “why didn’t you eat??” IDK I’m 11 and you’ve been gone all day!! She’d check in with the older kids and ask them (and eventually me, cause at a certain point I was the oldest one home) if the other kids had eaten. And sometimes i’d say i did just to get her off my back. God what a shithole. Anyway, this was a fun ask hah.

[hiemaldesirae]

Question: how would your characterization of demon Alastor react to finding out for the last 60+ years that what he thought was Vox breaking up with him was actually Demon!Valentino drugging/r**ping him with his venom/aphrodisiac and Vox has No memory of what he and Alastor actually had? No memory of anything except maybe the last month? And to find out Valentino only did this so Vox (who was becoming a TV mogul) would put his pornos on the tv. How would he help Vox remember? What would he do to Valentino? Would Velvette also suffer?

okay so. nonny, i wont blame you for not knowing, especially since ive never explicitly talked about it on main, but for future reference, im not that big on the whole abusive staticmoth dynamic. i can see why others enjoy it, and i do read stories with it from time to time simply because the premise captivates me that much, but in general id say i much more prefer a version where val and vox are at the very least best friends if not crossing into the sort of blurry best friends who smooch sometimes territory.

now having said that, i'll still answer your question because again, not very fair of me to just brush you off for no reason when i never made my preferences clear beforehand. (this gets long, so i'll leave a readmore.) warning: my demon radiostatics are always freak4freak no matter what. so this does get a little iffy in terms of ethics

my favourite interpretation of radiostatic is two sickos who are just as closely obsessed with each other, so in the unlikely case that al would let vox go for that long, when he realizes again the first thing he's going to do is go and. well. for lack of a better term, atticwife him (i hope to god this isn't just a term used in east asian fandoms because if i have to explain this ill eat lead). maybe after a little bit of time, he'll allow vox some liberties, but even then it'd be very little. ill put it this way- imagine the most toxic irl relationship you can: someone who tracks and micromanages their partners every move, barely lets them outside the house without going with them, monitors every friendship that they allow their partner to have, and there you have it. thats radiostatic! ah, young love. so sweet, dont you think? after all, alastor can't risk his muse's eyes slipping off him again. he's been deprived of that attention for far too long, and it wasn't even by his own doing! that's an offense in and of itself.

now im assuming that its only val who's doing the exploitation here so presumably vel would have no hand in any of the mess, and perhaps not even be fully aware of the nuances behind the scenes. i mean, it wouldn't really matter either way because once alastor finds out the reason why his other half hasnt been reciprocating their insane little song and dance he's getting rid of any and all obstacles, permanently. vox doesnt need anyone else so long as he has him- and hey, he was friends with him, rosie and husk first, so its not even as if its much of a loss. the only people he'd presumably leave alive would be voxs own contracted souls, and even then thats a bit of a gamble depending on just how bad i want the both of them to be: without his contracted souls, vox would be weaker and more susceptible to whatever alastor wants, so i guess its a matter of whether or not i want the freak4freak relationship where theyre both equally strong but vox willingly submits because he gets more thrill out of it that way or whether i want freak4freak where vox has to struggle way harder and still ends up giving in anyway because al is simply stronger

as for what he'd actually *do* to val. i mean. he does still have that radio broadcast of his, doesn't he? i think you can probably put the pieces together. the thing with animal sinners is that theres simply so many parts of them to break... show-wise, i never understood how overlords like alastor or val could even rise to their position, with the amount of weak spots they must have. that broken antenna vox and val share is certainly something that speaks to their higher vulnerability. and moth wings are especially fragile: i owned little silkworm moths at one point (they were my babies, i loved them for the month or so i got to care for them) but their wings were so thin they were wearing holes in them by the second or third day. val's coat-wings look much thicker in comparison, but of course, my perception is limited by the show only. so i mean, who knows? im sure whatever happens, itll make the best entertainment in al's eyes :)

[star-mum]

the ages in Teen Wolf make no fucking sense and the MTV writers made it MY ISSUES SPECIFICALLY

insane rambling (and very bad math) under the cut

I was thinking.... the Hales weren't recluses ??? (post fire Derek doesn't count, he's been through stuff) cause Derek went to highschool like normal ??? So WHYYYY (besides convenient writing) doesn't ANYONE REMEMBER THEM ??????

Like yeah Derek was older than the main cast, whatever, but CORA ????? SHE'S THEIR AGE ???? THEY PROBABLY ALL WENT TO PRESCHOOL TOGETHER ???? AT LEAST MIDDLE SCHOOL ????

SO !!! i have JUST NOW decided that Cora, Derek and Laura are 3 years apart from each other. "What about Talia and Peter?" you ask me and if you'd given me a FUCKING SECOND I'D TELL YOU !!! GEEZ !!!

Okay so IF we assume Peter is in his early 20s when Derek is in highschool considering ONLY the actor who played him in the Paige Flashback then okay, fine they're like almost 20 years apart BUT !!! Look at Peter now !!! LOOK AT HIM !!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN 4-6 YEARS (depending on how old you think s1 Derek is) (we'll get to that too, hold on) SO !!!! Im gonna ignore that weird casting choice and confidently give Talia and Peter a 13 years age difference, why ? you ask... idk sounds like a good number, I like things in 3s- WRONG !!! I DID EXTENSIVE MATH AND THINKING ON THIS !!!

We're gonna take some liberty here and assume Wolf Born Families are a bit traditional when it comes to kids and stuff SO Talia would've probably had her first kid in her very early 20s BUT we also need to consider that she was The Alpha of the house (and I refuse to believe Hale isn't HER family name) (OH ALSO !! Since the spark passed from her to Laura we can assume, cause I want to, that, at least, the Hale Pack worked as a matriarchy) which demands a lot of respect and work soooo I'm gonna go with her being about 24-25 when she had Laura

WHICH !!! Would've made Peter 11-12, which is not that different from the age gap he has with Talia, so he probably used to look at Laura much more as a sister than a niece (you know for the pain and suffering and drama) SO !!! when Derek was 15, Peter was 29-30 aaaand 29 makes the most sense to me, so I'd go with that!

Please dont get me started on the contradicting age of our "teen" cast !! Scott is 15 and then 18 in 10 months ???? Doesn't make sense !!!! So to ME the teen cast is all 17 in season 1 !!! except for Alison who's a year older and very understandably insecure about turning 19 and still being in highschool. And then in the span of 10 months we roll around to Scott's 18 birthday !! hooray time is linear !!!

All this to say, these are all people around the same age as our main characters AND THEY WERE PART OF THE TOWN !!!! HOW COME NO ONE REMEMBERS THEM ????

Even if we operate on the belief that Derek is, during season one, between 19-22 (which feels correct to me) that still makes the family fire NOT THAT LONG AGO (4-6 years) HOW COME PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING ABOUT IT ALREADY ????

Cora is the same age as EVERYBODY ELSE !!!! did they not go to middle school together ? do they not remember her ? who was she friends with ? Before Paige died Derek was very well integrated into High School culture, we have no reason to believe either of his sisters were homeschooled. Peter was a grOWN ADULT !!! I KNOW THE HALES WERE OLD MONEY RICH BUT DID HE NOT HAVE A JOB ???? DID HE NOT HAVE A LAW FIRM TO WORK AT ??? (recently came across a "Peter Hale had a law degree" post and it's canon to me forever now) Did Laura not pick up her siblings from school not a SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIFE ????

OH !! WHICH REMINDS ME !! Derek said at some point that the fire happened when he and his sister were still at school and I'm pretty sure that was on s1 so he obviously meant Laura (i don't think the writers had Cora planned from the beginning, she was there to work in Erica's place) BUT !!! What if he did mean Cora, he walked his little 12 yo sister to school because he's Big Sister Laura (18 yo) was away for college at that time !!! And Kate had no choice but to leave those 3 out cause Laura wouldn't have come home without a good reason and Cora went to school at the time was Derek just a different building

This brings me to my (hopefully) final point: what the fuck is Deatons problem ???? He was Talia's emissary, he knew the pack inside and out and they very OBVIOUSLY KNEW HIM !!! HE WAS BESIDE THEIR ALPHA ALL THE DAMN TIME !!! How come Derek didn't recognize him ???? My vague memory on the dialogue between Deaton and Peter in s1 makes it seem like they Knew Each Other, in that ominous way... why didn't Derek ?? He wasn't a small child, he knew Deaton too, he could've remembered him ????

Again... things that feel like they were written into the plot only AFTER s1 aired

[adhd-trademark]

⚠️💥ATTENTION💥⚠️

Do I have your attention?

Hopefully.

This is a message to hellcheers, steddies, anti-hellcheers, anti-steddies, and anyone who attacks grace van dien online.

I might be a hellcheer myself, but trust me hellcheers, that does NOT mean you are safe from this either whatsoever.

I dont know about you guys, but I am sick and tired of all the toxicity all of us are spreading. Actually, not all of us. There are people in each of these groups (except those of you who attack grace online, I have a message for you later) who are amazing and kind and genuine pleasures to talk to and be around. I'd like to think that I'm one of them, but I'm not going to make that decision. But back to the earlier topic: there are good people in these fandoms/groups. Which brings us to my first point. We need to stop assuming the worst of each other. There are so many stereotypes of each of us, and usually they are just based off of the actions of a few people in the fandom. Example: one person who ships blahblahblah is racist/homophobic/etc, and now the people who ship lalala think all people who ship blahblahblah are racist/homophobic/etc. Now I'm not saying there arent bad people who just say genuinely terrible things in all of these fandoms. Fellow hellcheers directly, specifically the ones doing these things (you probably know who you are), you make me embarrassed to be in the fandom. Honestly. It doesnt matter who said what first or what someone's opinion is, dont be like that, period. This applies to everyone, I just wanted my fellow hellcheers to know that they arent entirely innocent either. No one is. Unless you are one of those genuinely nice people. If you are, I love you guys, no matter which ship you like. But seriously, we can all be better. We are all probably about 14 and older. We're practically adults, almost. We should act like ones. The way you SHOULD talk about an opinion in ships is with respect for the other person's opinion. It's supposed to be sharing points of view, not telling people they are crazy or weird or homophobic or racist or anything else like that if they like something you dont. If we cant act like adults, I think our best option is to simply ignore each other. Get out of each others tags for good. Stop looking for fights. To sum this first argument up, respect each others opinions, act like adults, dont assume something about someone based on what a minority (or even if it is a majority, it doesnt matter) said or did. If we cant do that, we just ignore each other. Leave each other alone. Thank you.

If you are a hellcheer, anti-hellcheer, steddie, anti-steddie, basically anyone who hasn't ever in their life harassed or said something bad publicly about grace van dien, i love you guys! You can go. Have an amazing day. 😊

If you are the people who sit on the safety of their stained futons furiously harassing and talking bad about grace online, publicly, I'm addressing you now.

It's ridiculous. Grace played a character for 14 minutes on a show where all she did in the end was die. Why do you care so much about ruining her career and hurting her? For those of you who like Joseph Quinn and are here, you realize if you said any of this crap about grace to him he would hate you, right? Hes been her number one supporter since all of you started and since the on set harassment issues. And the fact that you can find nothing better to do other than sit on your phone and try to ruin the life of an actress who never hurt you whatsoever is absurd and mildly hilarious, honestly. You guys are adults too. Grow up. The fact that a 16 y.o girl has to come on this app and tell you how to be decent human beings is really, really sad. Reflect on your actions and do better, people.

Have a nice day.

[nicromancytarot]

thank you for explaining in such detail!

my problem is i cant seem to let go of this one kpop idol, ik its so unrealistic that we would ever date and i bitterly regret not doing something cool like music before the internet came about its been an interest of mine for pretty much over a decade and due to unhelpful situations i never stuck to anything or not being sure of what i wanted to do. my other issue there is a bit of an age gap, not by a much but its like i cannot stop thinking of them, even if there r other celebs i could be obsessing about i still always seem to go back to this one idol in particular even if theres dozens of other idols i could crush on or theres other groups i might follow it still seems ro lead me back to this one idol specifically and its very annoying. i cannot even take a break from liking him its constant every other day he pops in my head like a fucking lightbulb and i immediately then regret not doing something really cool with my life bc then maybe id have small chance of meeting him at least but alas never going to happen

i have only dreamt of them once or twice i forget the exact amount yet that was only after i had watched a reading for them so that was bizzarre bc a) i dont dream much, b) if i do they usually dont make much sense anyway and c) i have yet to have any dreams of kpop idols full stop like askde from one other idol i have barely had any dreams feature idols except for this one guy, twice, i knew it was him right off the bat

my other issue is any other celeb i have ever liked recently have been of similar water sign to this idol almost like a weird pattern. i have been told my fs is footballer (premier league? i presume could be wrong theres other leagues too and i have been to several matches albiet not recently) but i dont know how much to believe in it, i asked someone else they said it was soulmate connection, i asked someone else once again they said i had seen them but not met them and they didnt think much of me

yet i keep going back to this other kpop idol all the damned time i swear im not their fs and im not connected to them in any way again i dont think anyone would bother dating me at this age with my lack of dating experience might not interest anyone and tbqfh im not fussed if i dont date but im still curious as to who they are or if id truly love them but at the samr time again i dont particularly want to be so delulu about it and be like oh my god i have to date them i need a relationship and be so desperate about it i think that would be off putting if it was forced like that

sorry for my rambling but it was such an interesting topic that i hope u dont mind me sharing my experiences so far with tarot and lately an interest in divination

I like to think that any connection we make whether it be through the internet or in person, there is always a reason for it, this person could be the gateway to you understanding how you’d like to be treated in the future by your next partners and future spouse. It’s definitely normal to have a crush on a celebrity so don’t feel bad about that, you’ll definitely meet your future spouse soon enough with the right decisions and choices, by that point you’ll hopefully be able to let go of this idol that you feel so much for.

Perhaps they were connected to you in a past life and that’s why they still serve such a purpose in your life now.

My future spouse and I served a few lives together where we were all different things, going from soulmate friends in one, to absolute worst enemies in the next, and then owing our lives to each other in the one after that. I’m not quite too sure of his purpose in my life this time around, I assume this is my last life so it would make sense to connect with him one last time in the physical.

You may find that this idol is someone who shapes you to be the person that you want to be, perhaps he will push you to get back into music, I’m also working on becoming a musician lmao, that’s how my future spouse and I shall meet (which makes almost no sense since he pretty much will be out of the influencing circle by then, but whatever fate wants I suppose) He may not be there for you to be romantically involved with, but his presence could cause you to try and make something out of those discarded dreams of yours, which could eventually bring you to be with your future spouse.

[rainyraisin]

OKAY TIME TO GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL OVER AMANE’S SEASON 2 SONG (CW/TW for Child abuse, cults/religious stuff and murder) Massive Milgram Season 1 and 2 Spoilers, specifically for Amane’s songs and her section of the Season 1 results report! Also this is gonna be such a mess I’m sorry I’m really bad at organising my thoughts fbsjcbjebf (breaking this up cause it’s SO long)

Quick context if you’re not aware of this series (if you’re not then I’m unsure why you’re reading this but go off!!! 💪💪‼️‼️💖💖💖), in Milgram everyone is a murder. Guilty and forgiven votes aren’t if they should be forgiven or not for the murder itself, it’s if they should be forgiven for their reasons. Honestly everyone is so tragic that there’s very few people I don’t forgive for their actions (except for Yuno and Mahiru I don’t forgive those two at ALL, along with Kazui, because I’m still not sure of his reasons). NOW. Why the FUCK did the fandom vote her guilty oh my GOD we’ve gen broken this poor girl- Jackalope seems to think it was the right to vote her guilty during the Season 1 report but Es seems to have only done it so she realises what she has done is wrong which I assume is due to her young age? So she doesn’t just assume murder is right due to being forgiven. It’s not as much of a punishment as it is a lesson. Whilst yes, sounds a little harsh, but she literally killed someone (I FORGIVE HER WAY MORE FOR WHAT SHE DID THAN ANYONE ELSE THOUGH DUE TO THE CONTEXT WE GOT IN HER NEW SONG). Now, I don’t think the cult theory from Season 1 is wrong, especially due to the lyrics of this song and also her interrogation questions that featured answers such as “This is a trial from God” and her father being on an honorable journey (which I presume is a pilgrimage?), but it’s not as present here. This is much more focused on the abuse she received rather than both the abuse and the cult itself.

Now, I’m assuming the mascots from Magic are maybe associated with the cult? Given that her abuser has allowed them to be displayed on the front door I very much doubt they’re purely associated with an educational show like was originally presumed. They also appear in the marching section, which shows that they’re most likely associated with what’s being said in this section which uses phrases that most would associate with religion. I’m assuming Magic was more about indoctrination and Amane learning the Do’s and Dont’s of the cult through the physical abuse she went through when making a mistake. It’s shown she internalised that she can’t make any mistakes as in The Purge March, when she makes a small mistake in her flag throwing, she punishes herself (the march itself is purely a metaphor, she’s shown putting herself through something involving the shower in real life following drowning in the march section). However, she doesn’t only afflict abuse upon herself. Oh my *god* that taser when she walks into the apartment is gonna HAUNT me. I’m not entirely sure if the man watching her tend to the cat is her abuser as he’s holding the hand of another little girl with an umbrella, and it was revealed in her interrogation questions that her family only consisted of her, her mother and her father, so that can’t be her father because she doesn’t have a sister. The girl does have very similar features to Amane though so it could be like what he expected of her compared to what she’s actually doing? And then when she goes home she’s punished for not following expectations, not for saving the cat (although I’m 100% certain that does play into an aspect of it due to the whole medicine vs prayer thing in Magic). Although, her father couldn’t be on an “honourable journey” if he was her abuser anyway because she would’ve killed him before going in to Milgram. Although she does say it *was* my father, mother and I.

A theory I have is that the honourable journey is possibly his death? The chorus of the song is “I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed. So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too. It’s now your turn to say that hopeless ‘I’m sorry’”. I’m assuming that she views him as corrupted due to him abusing her and that must be amended through dying for his sins, as they’re so great at this point that punishment is no longer an option, nor is repenting through apologies. She clearly views him as a monster due to the line “If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out”, so I doubt she sees him as someone who can be saved through more humane means (or at least humane by her cult’s standards). The line “This is the magic that stops that from happening” whilst she’s tending to the cat’s wound might be a case of her rebelling away from the prying eyes of her abuser in order for her to act perfect in front of him, which obiviously backfires when he sees her doing it whilst looking for her. She wants to be praised by him which is shown through the answers in her interrogation such as “Do you think that your family is proud of you?” “Of course. No daughter is as exemplary as I.” and “Who do you want to meet right now?” “My father. I want him to praise me for working hard.” and through her viewing her only talent/hobby as studying (which I assume she only partakes in in order to receive praise) but she can’t remain perfect all the time. She just doesn’t show that in front of her family and tries to keep it to the small amount of free time she has in order to avoid punishment and them being disappointed in her.

One of the lines she says is “‘Tis ordained, thou shall stay thine course, then perish” so she’s expected to stay in line until she passes, which is obviously an insane expectation that she can’t follow up until her demise, so it makes sense that she acts out now and then, even if it ends up being to her own detriment (I hate how taking care of a cat is seen as acting out by her father but yeah :(((( ). Also the line “Despite this, the “It can’t be helped”, from the scum that can’t be helped” shows that her father views the punishments as something that are necessary and can’t be helped, whilst Amane sees him as someone who can’t be helped (which is why she eventually kills him). This partially contradicts her punishing herself but I’m assuming she thinks her own punishments are nowhere near as bad as her father’s , which given as how it just seems like she gave herself a freezing shower (along with crying, repenting and kneeling as she mentions later on) whilst her father TASED HER, yeah I see what she means (although I’m still sad she thinks she has to punish herself :( ). ALSO WHAT THE FUCK DID HER FATHER DO TO THE CAT. Her looking up to the sky after seeing the cat is gone hurts so much due to her religious views :( The lines following that are “If you’re going to break your vow, here and now it’s my turn to tear you apart” which seems like she’s now punishing her father for breaking the rules rather than being punished herself (I’m not certain which rule he has broken at the moment as I’m not sure what the rules of the cult exactly are? None of the ones mentioned in this video seem to fit expect for “thou shall discard vulgarity”, but I’m gonna scan through Magic at some point to see if there are any hints).

“So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgement you gave me” yeah she is 100% punishing him for breaking the rules so he doesn’t do it again like he did to her. “After you cry, repent and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless ‘I’m sorry’” MORE PROOF THAT SHE’S GONNA GET BACK AT HIM- There’s gen no way the person she kills at the end isn’t her father (or just another abuser if my ‘honourable journey being his death’ theory is wrong), possibly her mother but there’s only been one mention of her throughout the entirety of Milgram so I very much doubt that). “You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please, go ahead and die already” supports my earlier statement that she views him as too far gone to simply apologise and repent, that further measures must be taken (it’s clearly not for revenge rather than it is following the rules that he himself set as she says that it was a “natural obligation” when asked if she regrets her murder). “Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of ‘Im sorry’ that I said to you?” aka her telling him that she’s going to hold him to the same expectations that he has of her (I know this can have a few different meanings but I’m choosing the ones that seem to align the closest with her/the cult’s ideals). I’m unsure if the end is her mother discovering that she killed her father or not? I’m pretty sure that shot is just to show that she killed him but her looking at the camera seems to indicate that someone is there. I’m also unsure why she’s in her marching outfit? I’m presuming it’s to show that her intentions were associated with the cult’s ideals and views as whenever she wears that outfit in the video the wording is very… idk how to describe it but it sounds like smth you’d read in the bible, and yes while that sort of stuff is said in different parts of the video where the marching theme isn’t present, it’s basically the only way she’ll say stuff during the marching section. Also small analysis of why she’s marching, she’s meant to be marching in a straight line to her death, never to stray unless she wants to be punished, not until “The Purge March” is complete.

ANYWAY YEAH I HOPE YOU HAD FUN READING THIS IDK WHY YOU DID THOUGH CAUSE ITS LIKE SO LONG???? I just love Milgram sm I had to analyse this MV as soon as possible even though the last time I did this was for All Knowing and All Agony last year- this might not be right at ALL, I’m not the best at theorising and I may have missed a lot of context due to not being super knowledgeable about the subject matter (maybe I’ll hunt down some video essays to listen to whilst drawing) and also not being able to read kanji or katakana so I missed out on some background details as well but I hope at least a bit of this is right???? We’ll hopefully see when her Season 3 MV is released! (I also realised I didn’t even talk about how her guilty verdict may have affected this video but honestly I’m unsure how to touch on that as of now so I may make a follow up to this after looking over Magic again and having a bit more time to think about what was revealed here rather than immediately jotting down all my thoughts)

Link to the Milgram YouTube channel if you want to check it out!

[aita-alternia]

Am I the asshole for fucking off and not telling everyone where I was after a huge friend group drama?

Big sigh. Quirk dropped for OBVIOUS reasons.

So everyone here is post ban (varying castes) and in a shared Trollian memo board. I (violet) had a crush on this one friend (teal) I'll call Q for anonymity, for a while (over it now, still had at the time of the main drama). She recently got into a quadrant and didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. It's been all over fucking grumblr at this point, whatever.

The thing is, I found out through the fucking shared memo when someone else slipped up and memtioned it, and since one of the involved parties was one of my best friends, well, I took it a bit badly. We were very close before this and I'm NOT good with keeping emotions in check so I decided to have a little vacay. I took off and didn't tell anyone where I was going ( so I could fucking BE ALONE ) except my moirail (jade) for obvious reasons. I didn't want to blow up on anyone else ( I did end up yelling at someone anyway, go figure ) and literally nobody would fucking leave me alone so I dropped my palmhusk in my rabbit's pen and fucked off for a few nights.

APPARENTLY, I should have told people because everyone started freaking the fuck out about it. Several friends demanded my moirail tell people where I was, someone hacked my account to spam people with nonsense keysmash messages or something, it nearly caused a breakup, everyone started blaming Q, a third party (violet) figured out where I was and started provoking more arguments about it, and the memo was in fucking shambles.

I know all of this could have been avoided if I said anything at all during my little peace finding solo mission, but I didn't even have stable internet access TO check and I didn't WANT to talk to anyone. So I didn't know this was happening, I just came back to the dumpster fire.

Anyway, I was told by a few people that I should have at least said "I'm going offline a while" to someone before fucking off because my hyper emotional tendencies and history of dramatics made some people assume the worst. But I dont feel like it's fair to blame me for not thinking about that? I tried to explain this but one of my friends (gold) said I'm being a whiney wader and I should have just told people I was taking a break before leaving, especially since it "really wasn't as big of a deal as everyone is making it out to be" or whatever. I told them to kick rocks, but another person now told me they're right and they doubled down on it, saying I need to at least apologize for making everyone worry.

I know the drama itself isn't my fault really, because I didn't even do anything except have feelings, but my reaction was kind of extreme. And a lot of people told me they were genuinely worried I hurt myself. Even though I maintain that it's literally not anyone else's business, plus I'm fine now and... for fucks sake I'm allowed to not be chronically online for three fucking nights, I can tell I scared people.

My friends are torn on this but generally I keep hearing that they thought I wasn't coming back and I'm starting to feel bad, even though I did what I needed for my mental health. Should I have said something before I left? I didn't want anyone to yell at me or try to stop me, but I guess all I really accomplished was making everyone else freak out, which wasn't my intention.

Am I the one who needs to apologize?

[cowboy-robooty]

hiyaaa i was looking through ur art and was wondering if u could elaborate on why u think prumano would be toxic and evil if they were dating anyone else. 😀 thank youuuu! i <3 ur hcs in case u couldnt tell

hello my loyal prumanohead. it has been literally 2 months since you asked this i am so sorry i did that to you. not even gunna get into what happened my lord anyways okie LETS ANSWER DIS BAD BOY!!!

ANYWAYS OMIGAWD I LOVE PRUMANO SO SO SO see i actually talked all about this with my bruder LMV (user lucianoirlmurdervictim) like an hour ago on minecraft but theyre made for eachother because prussia is too stupid to die from romanos aids and romano is too insane to die from prussias aids. prussia is a terrible boyfriend. hes loud hes direct he doesnt think before he does things and above all he cant fucking take a hint ever hes an idiot he never THINKS but hes always like yay!!! 360 noscope gamer time! hes loud and just constantly parties and has fun no matter what and thats what makes him able to survive romano, an even worse boyfriend. romano is fucking psychotic. that bitch is constnatly on PMS he is an idiot he is a tsundere but a violent and cruel at that. its always his way or the highway and he gets mad at literally everything at all times but see prussua is too fucking stupid to feel damage when romano hurls insults at him and tries to make him die because everyone already does that to prussia so he just goes "DAWWWEEE I LOVE YOU ROMANO CHAN!!! <3" romano to prussia is basically a "nobody can bully you but me" boyfriend except prussia doesnt even think hes being bullied at all so they end up matching perfectly bc prussia's ignorance in relationships acts as an antidote to romanos violence and romanos violence ends up just making him pay attention to prussia at all times and prussias like OMIGAWD HE DIDNT LEAVE ME ON READ OR GHOST ME!!!! 😍😍. i actually think that prumano is really funny because romano wants to be really toxic and evil but is just too stupid to be able to and prussia is too stupid to get trapped by it. like because i wrote a whole prumano bible post before that i assume youve read but to reiterate i think prumano is special together because romano is able to learn the joys of loving instead of only desiring to be loved. because prussia loves him and because he doesnt care abt romanos insanity it feels like an unconditional love and its able to make romano chill out on his desperate need to be a pillow princess (since he doesnt have to fight for it for once) and realize that he enjoys loving prussia too. he wants to be the one who makes prussia smile too. romano learns he desires prussia because he likes seeing him happy too not only because he likes when prussia makes ROMANO happy. i think in most relationships romano has at the core he usually mainly likes people because they like him, not because he really likes them. so because prussia unlocks this true love shit in romano by being a tone deaf idiot whos constantly selfish and clingy to romano even when hes furious, romano gets his possessiveness HARDCORE. since i believe that romano inherently has a possessiveness built in him because yknow hes the fail italy brother mf literally gets NOTHING for his entire life. he dont even get the name italy hes fucking romano rodf. i think romano is very possessive towards prussia even though he constantly tries to kill him and because of that and his general inexpereince in relationships and his tsundereism it mixes together to make him actually have pretty toxic intentions because he genuinely loves prussia. i think hes the type of fella to be like "grrr.... i dont like when prussia is spending so much time with other people... hell no im not gunna tell him i miss him thats some fucking gay shit... i think instead i will punish him everytime he talks to his friends so he'll do that less. yes thats a very normal thing to do." and obviously you can see how that could lead to a super duper toxic relationship all bc romano refuses to communicate and i think in relationships with other people it would end up becoming toxic bc the other person would obviously catch on and become isolated n shit and all the bad shit would happen. but not prussia he built stupid 😍 because prussia doesnt notice when romano is being exceptionally mean to him as a punishment bc he just cant pick things up since hes too wrapped up in his own world. he cant pick up subtle queues from his partner so hes like la de da with romano

and doesnt get manipulated at all to become isolated or anything. plus romanos way of manipulating is fucking stupid and terrible too because he only thinks of trying to pavlovs dog other people to get what he wants or make them think theyre cursed unless they do what he wants without telling them what he wants. so hell punish/curse prussia by like putting spiders in his drinks secretly and thinks to himself "heh. that should teach him. next time hell know he should be only smiling at ME" and prussia just thinks that maybe he should change his name to spider georg after accidentally swallowing the 15 spider in a row. so really. i guess because romanos so incapable at manipulation it wouldnt really be hed be a toxic boyfriend more like just make life insufferable (on top of the fact ur dating romanos personality). so anyways though. i hope this answered ur question idk i kinda rambled abt prumano bc rn its hard to explain the intricucies of how they are perfect for eachother because they are the antidote to eachothers aids. but i hope you get what im sayin here 😍 i think actually prumano is like the mirror evil version of itager, but thats a whole nother post and maybe ill write it if someone asks me or if i feel like it. they make me crazy asf okay i lovee prumano i should write a prumano fanfic romano chan is so crazy hes so #girl they love eachother FOREVER <3

heres a old doodle of italy i did to test a pen. sorry i need to answer this now or else ill never answer it ever so i cannot get up rn and draw prumano or else this ask will be answered probably never 💔

[theropoda]

if i ever find myself lying to myself again about how im normal and have nothing wrong with me other than being oversensitive im gonna show myself my own damn tweets from like 2016 bc That Is Not Normal Behaviour. i guess i keep denying myself the right to be sad about myself and my life because i didnt know anyone else who had it like me, so i didnt have anything to compare it to and just assumed that my life wasnt that bad when it.....Certainly was not good and shouldntve been that way. esp bc the whoooole time my parents way of cheering me up about the situation was "other people have it worse, it could be worse, dont worry it isnt that bad" (in general thats indian culture i think LOL, to acknowledge that your situation is bad is some kind of embarassment almost)

its so crazy though to see tweets of me just entering like high school trying to figure it out like "i have no idea how i will keep living"........Well guess what.......I LIVED BITCH........Life may still be difficult but it has genuinely gotten clearer, about hey imDisabled actually which explains fucking everything, theres people like me out there!! and i feel like the path to a good life is visible to me now i just need to walk it. It looks really fucking ugly and hard etc but knowledge is power and just knowing things about myself that i didnt know back then, makes me feel better i guess. Dont worry lil john you made it :] i can only hope john from 8 years from now feels the same way.

its interesting to look back on this time period, like i was literally just going through My Files looking for oc stuff and just kinda happened across this archive. probably the part of my life where i most severely delt with self hatred and the idea i was a morally horrible person (average 13 year old experience i have learned) that should straight up die....i learned to deal with it eventually, convince myself that im not evil, but its just....interesting seeing it at its worst, before it subsided, and the past few months it's been comin back again except this time its less "im literally evil scum i oughta die" and more "i'm a pretty okay, average guy, but man do i want to be so much more". but i definitely think that's an improvement LOL.

anyways whats the point of this post. just airing out my thoughts. also that it gets better. even if things don't become perfect they'll maybe get clearer. maybe you're not out of this hole yet but you know it can be done. Or something i dunno