cupcakepirate123

[cupcakepirate123]

whateverr

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[cupcakepirate123]

New York police officer fires his .38 service revolver at almost point-blank range into a piece of bulletproof glass, with a very brave test subject behind it, 1931.

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[cupcakepirate123]

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

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learned how to use blenders film making tools

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People who give pets a bit of chocolate when they know it’s their pets last day are a bit of a funny concept. Imagine being old and friends with an alien who will live ten times your lifespan and they’re like “ah shit he’s dying, well since you’re dying anyway haven’t you always wanted to know what uranium tastes like?”

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[cupcakepirate123]

Me, fighting a yoga mom in the organic food market circa 2023: take your hand off that peach or I’ll vaccinate your children against polio

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(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

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my cat stopping me from petting her

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[cupcakepirate123]

why is your cat green?

She’s built different 😌

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My manager was in the break room with me and she said 'I don't ever remember oranges being THIS hard to peel' and I just responded 'they're making them harder to peel' without thinking and she looked and me and said. Why?

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Let’s goooooooo

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FREUD RICE

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New York State Parks official IG posted about an owl they rescued but decided to use only the most wretched photos of this creature, including what EYE think is the best bird photograph ever taken