#but i don't want to delve into all the treatments i have and have not tried. some of them i Will Not Do and i deserve to make that choice <3< /div>
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And while, yes, these skin conditions are often treatable or managed, you aren't failing if your skin is unresponsive to those treatments or you choose not to undergo them!
I've been trying to treat my acne with very minimal success since I started my first puberty, like... almost a decade ago, but it isn't my skin's fault nor mine that these treatments aren't a ~magical cure~ that people pretend it is. The fact that you can try your fucking best and still "not win" is a reality and it doesn't mean you didn't try or that you deserve "bad skin." This goes for ANY skin-related condition because it is such a reality for us all no matter what.
And if you're wondering how to treat an adult with acne, eczema, lumps or bumps, or literally anything else: Treat us like people. We don't need to be told what negative things you think about our skin
Shoutout to all the other adults who have acne or any other condition of the skin that you are expected to outgrow or "just deal with."
Adulthood isn't this magical time where everything just disappears, and the reality is that these skin conditions are largely genetic. It isn't your fault (nor your skin's fault) that you are an adult with different skin than other people. In fact, it's neutral (and even, dare I say, good!).
#self reblog#this was something my family was so bad about when i was a teen#being told that my acne made me unsightly and almost gross was so fucking damaging#and part of the reason i don't think it's shallow for somebody to be insecure about it is that it's framed as 'not normal' and 'gross'#and it's so frustrating that people assume any and ALL treatments WILL work when you ARE trying and it ISN'T working#i've been to dermatologists before and i'm working with one now! i've STAYED trying#but my genetics have it in the books that i'll 'struggle' with acne largely because my dad had it WORSE than i do/did!#and that's not a bad thing! my dad was bullied severely because of his acne and i wish i could go back in time to tell littler him that...#i guess it's just frustrating to be treated like you're lazy/not working hard enough/worth less because you 'aren't trying'#and the only reason i feel bad for others with skin conditions is that it's often PAINFUL#but typically people only express disgust about our conditions not for our sake but because THEY find it gross lol#iirc my bestie has eczema and man... from what i have heard it can HURT and that part sounds so... sad and lonely#(why does the english language like the letter c to sound like the letter s because i Do Not Like It)#also don't give me advice on how to treat my skin because you do not know what i have tried yet#and to be fair i forgor what i used the first time i had my dermatologist#but i don't want to delve into all the treatments i have and have not tried. some of them i Will Not Do and i deserve to make that choice <3#everybody deserves to make choices like that (even IF that treatment was successful)
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I think a lot about jjk men being angry because their gamer girlfriend ignores them ๐ฉ
(sorry for the writing, english is not my first language
JJK Men x Gamer GF
a/n: Hello anon thank you so much for your request. I had fun writing this one. I really hope you like it ๐ซถ๐ป
( Requests are open )
Characters: Gojo Satoru / Toji Fushiguro / Ryomen Sukuna / Nanami Kento.
Gojo Satoru:
Satoru has been very busy with endless missions lately, getting home really late.
To ease your lonliness, you started gaming.
Well till it turned into addiction.
You were kinda mad at him for not making time for you or at least speak to the higher-ups to take some days off.
But you never talked that out with him, since you didn't have the chance to express yourself.
He surprisingly arrived early tonight, excited to spend the night cuddling with you while watching movies.
But he didn't expect you to have your eyes glued on the screen in front of you while gaming like a maniac.
The room echoed with the sounds of keystrokes and game music.
He jumped in excitement to surprise you but no reaction.
โhuh? baby! Im hooomeโ
โheyโ you smiled unenthusiastically at him and quickly turned your focus back on your game.
He raised his eyebrow, watching as you delve into your virtual world, a world seemingly more captivating than his presence.
Would try everything to bring your attention towards him.
He knows his touch makes you weak, so he leaned in wrapping his arms around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head, wishing to draw your attention away from your screen.
โI missed you so much babygirlโ
His attempt failed miserably, you just hummed in return completely ignoring him.
When his affection didn't work he started teasing you attempting to provoke you and get a reaction out of you.
โYou sure you can play this game? I feel like you suck at thisโ.
When his teasing fell on a deaf ear as well, his frustration reached its peak.
His calm and amused voice turned into an annoyed tone.
โARE YOU REALLY GONNA IGNORE ME FOR THAT STUPID GAME Y/N?โ he would yell in an unusual harsh tone.
The question hang in the air as it left you momentarily stunned.
โWhy the hell are you yelling?โ you would question.
โOh so now I got your attention?! I've been trying to talk to you for half an hour now and all what you did is playing your stupid gameโ.
His anger was very evident.
He would remove his blindfold throwing it somewhere in your shared bedroom.
โSo you got mad because I was focusing on playing my game but you didn't consider that I'm probably the one who's mad because you're never homeโ you let out of everything, confronting him.
โyou're comparing this stupid game to my job?โ
Oh boy he fucked up, he didn't get the whole point.
After raging and snapping at you he would give you the silent treatment.
Of course his narcissistic ass wouldn't apologize first.
He's convinced that it's your fault even though he was offensive as well.
You would eventually say sorry and he'll show you his bright smile at the spot.
Both of you would talk things out and find a solution to spend more time together.
โso we good now baby?...can we cuddle?โ
โyeah Satoru just lemme finish this roundโ you would joke.
Toji Fushiguro:
As much as he enjoys your giggles and the way you throw cute tantrums while playing, he HATES IT when you're completely engrossed in your game, oblivious to the way he's sitting there watching you.
Kinda paradoxical.
He wished to have you in his arms.
Or having you on his lap while making out.
But all of these were just thoughts crossing his mind cuz you don't seem like you're finishing your game any time sooner.
And that annoyed him to the core.
โy/n, y/n ?โ
โHOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKEโ.
You didn't even hear him with having your headset on.
He's very possessive of you and he wants all of your attention to himself.
Especially when you started chatting with your friends, while playing together.
That shit was his last straw.
โThats it...get your ass over here y/nโ
You would look at him in disbelief.
Mouthing โmy friends heard youโ
โoh trust me I don't give A SINGLE FUCKโ he would yell again.
You apologized to your friends and quickly paused the game.
โAre you out of your mind Toji why did you say thatโ.
โWhy did you apologize to your friends while I'm the one you should apologize toโ
He would stand up approaching you, narrowing his eyes, clearly pissed.
His giant figure making you take a step back, trapping you between him and your desk.
โNow what should I do to you for ignoring me for too long huh?โ he whispered.
You started stuttering, his strong aura did things to you.
His narrow eyes piercing through you, sending shivers down your spine.
โI- I'm s-sorryโ you gulped.
โWhat a good girl...now turn off that computer before I smash it and get your ass on the bedโ
Well you had no other options, so you obeyed him.
Unless you want to act bratty which will result in him punishing the hell out of you.
Would spend the whole night cuddling you, literally smashing you in his strong arms, never letting go of you. ๐ซถ๐ป๐ฅน
โBut Toji I really need to use the bathroomโ.
โNuh-uhโ.
Ryomen Sukuna:
Two possibilities, whether you're too bold or you're suicidal and have a death wish to test this man's patience.
They just released this new game and you're completely obsessed with it.
You would spend hours playing it, luckily Sukuna was busy with some things so he didn't notice the way that game took your whole attention and energy.
He wants to be the one taking all of your time and energy.
But when he does notice, oh god, run or pray for your life.
โy/n come here let me kiss youโ
โone second!!!โ
He would look at you in disbelief.
Cocking his eyebrow, while leaning back .
Even though your back was facing him, you could feel the daggers he was sending your way.
โI said NOWโ
โPlease baby, I'm winning be there in a sec-โ
You didn't even get to finish your sentence when he threw your whole set up off of your desk.
Your eyes would widen in shock.
You don't know if you should feel sad that your whole gaming set up got destroyed or scared that you're the one about to get destroyed.
โYou dare to ignore me.. that's bold of you y/nโ he would say in his deep voice, making your chest tighten.
โI'll only allow this once, there won't be a second time... do you understand?โ
You would nod immediately.
He would throw you on his shoulder taking you to your shared bedroom.
โYou need to be taught a lesson after allโ
Of course he wouldn't apologize that he got angry at you.
I mean, it's Sukuna we're talking about.
The next day, Sukuna would surprise you with a new gaming computer with complete setup.
You've never imagined him doing this gesture but you truly appreciated that the king of curse actually considered your feelings.
โI don't understand what humans find so entertaining in this game... you should try murder is much more fun..โ
You would happily unbox it and place it on your desk.
โNow, Doll next time when I tell you to stop you stop immediately without any stupid excusesโ.
Nanami Kento:
Would be home after a long day at work.
Brings dinner with him and expects both of you to eat together while talking about your day and future plans for the weekend.
Only to find you in a dark room, only your computer screen glowing.
โy/n I'm home darling!โ
โoh hey there babyโ you would simply say eyes still glued on the game.
He wouldn't think much of it even though you were used to jump on him, embracing him in a long hug and telling him how much you missed him.
But lately all what you've been occupied with is this game.
Would give you space, while he takes his time to shower, prepare the table for both of you to have dinner.
โy/n dinner is ready, let's eatโ
โyeah yeah I'll be there in a sec Kentoโ you said, agressively pressing the buttons on your controller.
He would sigh and head to the kitchen, to wait for you there.
Half an hour has passed, an hour and you didn't show up yet.
โshitโ you said to yourself when you checked the time.
You ran downstairs to find him on the couch watching TV.
You slowly approached him and sat next to him.
โken-โ
โyou don't have to say anything y/nโ.
Your heart ached because you know you screwed up.
He would ignore you, his eyes fixated on the big screen in front of him.
You would place your hand on his lap but he would reject you.
โKento pleaseโ
He would start lecturing you.
โYou know, that was extremely childish y/n.. I've been waiting for us to have dinner together since the moment I left the morning.. that's what keeps me going.. knowing that I'll come back home to find you..but you did what? you ignored meโ
He would be really furious but he kept it to a low and cold tone.
No matter how much he gets pissed he'll never raise his voice at you.
You would look down, embarrassed and feeling extremely guilty.
โI'm your husband y/n , lately you're not fulfilling your duties towards me like I do to you..โ.
He is a responsible man, and he believes in efforts from both sides.
You would end up crying.
And he'll end up apologizing even though it was your mistake from the beginning.
He hates seeing you cry, especially because of him.
He regretted getting angry at you.
Between sobs you managed to explain to him that you were trying to win an award by getting the first place in this game.
Would bring you to his chest, holding you close.
โshh I'm sorry.. that's okay. I understand. I'm sorry if my words were harshโ
Would wipe your tears.
Doesn't go to work the next day and spends the day with you while you teach him how to play.
Thank you for reading (โ โกโ ฯโ โกโ ย โ )โ ย โ ~โ โช
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen masterlist#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#sukuna headcanons#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#toji headcanons#gamer gf#gojo satoru headcanons#sukuna ryomen x reader#jjk sukuna x reader#nanami kento headcanons#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro headcanons#jjk toji x reader#jjk gojo x reader#jjk nanami x reader#gojo x you#minecraft#gaming#anime headcanons#toji x reader#toji smut#gojo satoru smut#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader smut#nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen sukuna
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I kinda really hate how shallow viv's idea of lust is. viv seems to think that "lust" just means being really horny when really it's a lot more than that and not always sexual. lust is the immoral desire for something, be it money power sex etc. when it comes to sex, lust isn't just about a desire for sex, it's about a desire for sex causing someone to think or act immorally (i.e. cheating, harassment, rape, bestiality, etc) consensual kinky sex isn't really considered sinful lust (at least it shouldn't be, though a lot of conservative christians will say otherwise but that's besides the point) and yet that's the type of "lust" that asmodeus is all about. im not saying i want asmodeus to support rape or bestiality or whatever, just that if viv wanted him to represent the sin of lust then she should've made him more than just someone who likes kinky sex and makes sex toys. it's kind of infuriating that beelzebub got the "gluttony isn't just about eating a bunch of food!" treatment but asmodeus didn't get the same depth for his sin. at least delve into the other aspects of lust that isn't just BDSM. valentino is a much better representation of lust. his desire causes him to rape and abuse people. he also has a lust for power and money which plays into him being a pimp so he can earn money and partnering with the other vees so he can gain power. i know he's horrible but lust is SUPPOSED to be horrible! that's why it's a deadly sin! it's not just "christians think sex is bad!" there's an actual legitimate reason why lust can send you to hell! viv is so scared of her characters being bad that she can't even get some of the deadly sins right
Absolutely. The whole point of lust is hungering for something that you shouldn't have, that's bad for you and everyone around you, and yeah, to some people that might constitute any sex that isn't for the purpose of procreation and any shameful spilling of your seed, but for a story about deadly sins in 2024, that needs to be something deeper than "lol dildoes, sex good!"
You lust for power, you lust for your married coworker. You don't lust for your cozily monogamous long-term partner.
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I want to write more disabled characters but my story takes place in the 60sโฆ so far it hasnโt been an issue because the disabilities included would historically either be undiagnosed, kept secret, belong to characters already at the fringes of society, etc
I really want a specific character to have Downโs syndrome but itโs not the sort of story that would at all be benefited from the inclusion of an institution. For personal reasons, I donโt want to touch that. Iโve been writing him with just undiagnosed autism thatโs left him socially outcast from his peers. The most extreme his ableism gets is being seen as the local weird girl (as heโs a closeted trans man)
The story is decently realistic for what the queer and intersex characters would experience, imagining doing the same for disability feels badโฆ at least, to the level of ableism someone with Downโs syndrome would experience. His parents are notably shitty, rich, and care more about their reputation than their kids so I donโt see a way he wouldnโt get that treatment.
Is there a way I can still write this or similar characters without delving into heavy ableism? What are your thoughts on historical stories that ignore or downplay historical ableism?
Thanks, @interroblog
Hello asker,
I'll start first with a small note: It's better to write Down Syndrome as opposed to the possessive Down's Syndrome, since John Langdon Down didn't have DS.
So, with this story there is one general concern:
It feels strange to depict period-accurate intersexism and transphobia and homophobia as core parts of the story, but downplaying ableism when it's as period-accurate as the other -isms. In this case, it can definitely feel like you're glossing over a very relevant part of history that would have been part of your story. Yes, queer and intersex people have faced some really difficult things and still do. But the same is true for disabled people. Ignoring this can feel revisionist.
If you're going for a very realistic story, but you don't want to write ableism at all, it is probably better to just skip the DS aspect. People with DS have faced some truly intense ableism throughout history (and they still do), as people who have intellectual disability and facial and physical differences, two things that lead to some pretty intense ableism from many, many people. It's fine to not do this if you're not comfortable writing ableism, but again, intense ableism was widespread and common.
However, if the only thing holding you back is institutionalization: Not every single person with Down Syndrome was institutionalized. Yes, it was very common, and would probably be thought about, suggested, and even encouraged. But not everyone institutionalized their children with DS, for various reasons.
If you want him to still have that type of parents, perhaps the reason they don't institutionalize him is in fact for the benefit of their reputation. Maybe they want to be seen as 'saintly' for raising a visibly disabled child or something โ still shitty, still caring about their reputation more than their actual kids, like you intended; there is just a different outcome.
Now, to my personal thoughts on historical stories that ignore or downplay ableism, as someone who loves historical fiction: It depends on how historically accurate the story in general both is and aims to be. But I don't like stories that completely ignore ableism, especially the more realistic they aim to be. It feels like glossing over history. Even modern stories that completely ignore ableism I don't like. I still recognize that downplaying historical ableism can be a useful tool for authors, especially for disabled authors' own comfort. And, also, while ableism was very common in the past, it doesn't mean every disabled person ever always faced the worst possible ableism ever.
Basically: you, and other authors, can acknowledge historical ableism accurately without making it the main point and focus of the story. But if your focus is a story specifically about discrimination, which it seems like it is, it feels irresponsible to gloss over an extremely common and pervasive form of discrimination.
Hope this helps,
โย mod sparrow
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On the subject of Alicent and the accusations of hypocrisy, I'm not really interested in delving into what societal taboos she actually is and isn't breaking. Don't care, have fun, girl.
What does interest me is how the popular framing of Rhaenyra vs Alicent as feminist girlboss vs woman for Trump prevents people from acknowledging what the show explicitly told them in season 1.
Simply put, I never understood why people were interpreting Alicent as someone who honestly, genuinely wants to enforce the values of duty, honor, and sacrifice as a social norm to combat "sexual immorality" (??? I guess???), instead of hiding behind them as the only available coping mechanism for her horrifying personal situation.
Mind you, Alicent isn't just subjected to what the standard for Westerosi noblewomen is, i.e. being sold as a bargaining chip for loveless breeding while expected to have no say in it. She gets a particularly nasty version of this by being sold to an old creep at 15 and put into an extremely exposed position as a queen who is, to reiterate, 15 and thus unable to tweak any personal space, power, and advantages in this marriage until after child number three. And as a plus, she gets mocked both by her husband and his incompetent idiot of a brother (for whom she went to bat, btw), discarded by her only friend, and her children being ignored and neglected by the very man who made sure she'd have themโstarting at 15.
So it's the least surprising thing in the world that she would reframe her powerlesness in a way that'd give her some sense of active involvement, i.e. she made a sacrifice and she made that sacrifice in the name of duty.
Alicent's moral framework is such that it encompasses the totality of one person. It's actually astonishing how little of it she applies to others. She empathises with Rhaenyra not stepping up and "doing her duty" by marrying whomever her dad throws at her, and seeks to give her options. She's outraged at Rhaenyra not because she can't stand the idea of a girlboss winning, rather because it's physically painful how little Rhaenyra cares about the precariousness of her political position. She doesn't turn against Rhaenyra because the latter had extramarital sex; it's because she lied to her fucking face. And even when gunning for her bastards who are the textbook definition of usurping and a succession crisis waiting to happen, she allows for one bastard as a freebie.
So no, Alicent's "where is duty, where is sacrifice" isn't her demanding that an immowal girlboss corrects her behaviour right now, young lady. It's a cry of a person breaking because she can no longer ignore that her cope was ever just that, that she was made to give and sacrifice everything while fuck-ups who sacrificed nothing and demanded everything are now going after her children, the fruit of a life she never wanted to live.
Now, why was she made to live that life? Because Viserys.
Why was she made to have those children? Because Viserys.
Who created the situation to which adopting a coping mechanism became a matter of survival? Viserys.
Well, Vizzy? Is fucking dead. Tragically he wasn't given the Drogo treatment of having an urgent meeting with a pillow but he is indeed toast. So the whole reason why Alicent reframed her awful life as an act of dutiful sacrifice? Is gone.
So it doesn't surprise me whatsoever that the moment she became a widow she decided to do something very much undutiful and unsacrificial and jumped on Criston's dick, or that the old programming where she isn't allowed to have anything at all would always immediately bounce back.
(Why is Criston, apparently, pursuing the relationship, I still have no earthly clue)
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Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims
Series - TRR's Alternative LIs: The "Romances" That Didn't Happen
Previous - Maxwell and Penelope: When You Like the Side Character So Much, You Gift Her A Shiny New LI
A/N1: Apologies, again, for the length of this. There was so much damn retconning to wade through that it felt like a rollercoaster to write. There is also not going to be a lot of Hana in this, as I needed to unravel so many inconsistencies in Madeleine's writing. I also didn't want this to become a repeat of my essay series on Hana (which you can read here).
CW: Descriptions of bullying and intimidation, as well as dismissiveness of the same both in canon and from fandom. A mention of the 'infertility' plotline written for Hana in TRH1. Mentions of parental abuse and neglect.
In every other essay in this series, it's been important for me to analyse the potential of the pairings TRR went for. No matter how badly PB handled them later on, one could find promise in the possibilities of these pairings, and if written well they could result in a sweet, happy ending for the LIs we didn't marry. With a better sense of balance from the writers and less vitriol and double standards (in some cases) from the fandom, they could have worked.
Not so for this pairing.
In the case of Hana and Madeleine,it would have been far far better if this pairing had never happened at all. The problem wasn't just in the development; the roots of such a pairing itself were rotten.
(White) Female Antagonists
Before I delve into the characters involved in this pairing, it's important we take another deep dive into a narrative practice we often see with PB. Their blatant favouring of specifically white female antagonists.
Now, it's not as if white men in antagonistic roles don't get favourable writing from their teams and adulation from sections of the fandom (one has to only look at some of the posts Gaius Augustine of BB, Caleb of Hero, and Kane of TE got - just to name a few). But we also often see fans of such white women decry the (very little compared to their black counterparts) condemnation that their faves get for their actions in comparison to both antagonistic and romanceable white men. Such readers often neglect to acknowledge exactly how much the narrative bends over backwards to accomodate them, in a way that they never have done for even mildly hostile/wary black and brown women. And often this is with ample support and encouragement within the fandom itself.
One cannot even pretend this is a recent development. The early books had their fair share of white-woman-adulation and you can see some of the patterns that would solidify in PB discourse already take shape in their early books.
One excellent example of this is TCaTF. Compare the treatment that white women like Helene Leventis, Hex and Zenobia Nevrakis are given, to what Rowan Thorn - a black woman - gets. Helene is allowed to escape never to return, or join Kenna, despite being the woman who killed her mentor and close friend Gabriel. Hex is well known in the series for her sadistic torture devices and for destroying an extremely prosperous kingdom. Yet, she is captured - alive - and there are two options that allow her a bit more mercy, and only one that recommends the harshest of punishments. Rowan in the meantime only betrays Kenna if the latter is an absolute tyrant to her, and letting her go if she betrays her is touted as a failure. Her loyalty doesn't ensure she will live like Diavolos' does - you can in fact leave her to die if you don't have enough diamonds/prestige points.
The Freshman was an improvement on this: even if Becca Davenport started out as a classic college mean girl, her redemption arc involved her needing to work to regain trust with the group and her best friend Madison, regardless of the MC's fondness of her. Her housemates immediately set her straight when she lashes out at them at the beginning of TS, and Becca has to plan for almost a-book-and-a-half to get her friendship with Madison back to normal again.
Sadly, this is something that rarely ever happened again. Discrepancies in character treatment became more and more obvious as the years passed. Books where black and brown women behaved even mildly unimpressed or catty with the MC, showed them either suffering grievous fates or written out of the narrative (eg. Scarlett not even getting a proper future in the VoS bonus scene) or being mistrusted and misunderstood constantly by the MC and their friends (Aurora). Books where white women could cause grievous harm depicted them being let off without so much as a slap on the wrist (eg. Aunt Mallory of RoE being rewarded with a happy life, a man and reconciliation with the niece she tried to kill and the daughter she emotionally abused).
(Screenshots from SavageLordBarlow's YouTube channel)
Perhaps the worst and most obvious case to date was that of Vanessa Blackwood of MoTY, who called a young child "guttersnipe" within minutes of encountering her, outed a lesbian teacher, encouraged her son's bullying, provided legal counsel to the MC's ex husband just to see the woman suffer, and engineered a plot to frame the MC for theft so she could lose her job. Once Vanessa had crossed her limits, PB ensured they laid on the sympathy narrative thick, having her show sad faces when the MC scolded her in a paywall scene, punishing only her brown lackey (both the white people involved - Vanessa and Guy - are never named when Tallulah is exposed, even though she literally stole jewellery and framed the MC for them). In the series finale, Vanessa was rewarded with a cushy diamond scene where the MC can choose (in what is the understatement of the century) to call her "classist and a little bit racist" - all she is given at the end of the book is an extremely softball form of criticism.
Compare this to Xanthe of ACOR, who had far less power, who was repeatedly slut shamed by the MC and others for doing her job, and whose end was met in a "comical" scene that implied she'd been sold into sexual slavery while two black members of her scholae gloated over her plight (in a manner so uncharacteristic of them that even players who didn't necessarily like Xanthe were shocked. I would highly recommend you read @cassiopeiacorvus' excellent essay on her, "Xanthe: Courtesan, Rival, Pawn").
In an essay I'd written years ago, I'd noted the following:
"Check out who the narrative rewards you for treating well, as opposed to who will be made to support you either way.
You're allowed to show basic decency to a black or brown woman. But you're expected to show kindness, understanding and empathy to a white woman, and richly rewarded if you do. In some cases you will also face consequences if you don't. (Fandom - take note of the difference, and be sure not to forget it)."
Madeleine Amaranath is probably one of the best examples of this - with blatant retcons, unfounded adulation and obvious pandering lasting over five books.
Rules of Engagement
When we look at the full cast of TRR, we find at least six characters who are callbacks to its sister series, Rules of Engagement. Leo, Constantine, Regina, Bastien, Madeleine and Rashad (the last one was an addition from TRR2 onwards). Part of TRR's appeal as a series was its ability to reference the earlier one through these characters, but this time from the PoV of Leo's younger brother instead.
Madeleine appeared in only 2 chapters in RoE. She was Leo's fiancรฉe, in an arranged match that not only their parents but their citizens expected, unfazed by the "commoners" Leo brought to his bed and secure in the knowledge that no matter who he slept with she would eventually become his Queen. Leo dashes these expectations, however, by abdicating his claim to the throne - whether the RoE MC chooses him or not.
At this point - when TRR was barely even a concept - Leo was a clear fan favourite. Players liked the idea of romancing a rogue prince from a fictional European country; it meant they could revel in the luxury of touching royalty, while being away from all the hard, unsavoury parts. The Madeleine angle provided them with a rival to fight off, and at the time that was all that mattered.
Was Leo's behaviour in RoE, towards both the RoE MC and Madeleine, dishonest? Definitely, but not many seemed to care much at the time and it hardly created a dent in his fanbase (most of the criticisms against him and his cheating ways and irresponsibility would emerge later - when the Leo stans became Drake stans, and it was more convenient to badmouth Liam's family).
Jeffrey Herdman, a Junior Game Writer with Pixelberry for over 7 years, was a part of both the RoE and TRR teams, and proudly admitted in the TRR2 pre-release interview, to being the one in charge of writing Madeleine:
Q: Very funny. (Just so we're clear, Jeffrey is joking. Sort of.) Out of curiosity, who's your favorite character to write in The Royal Romance?
Jeffrey: Madeleine. It's fun to write someone who's constantly trying to spin a situation to their benefit, and making power plays along the way. I've actually been writing for Madeleine since her appearance in Rules of Engagement: Book 2, so we're practically besties.
Excerpt from The Royal Romance: Book 2 Interview
(If we were to compare this adulation of the character from Jeffrey, to the person who wrote Hana - head writer Jennifer Young, you'd find a surprising difference. In this very interview Jennifer talks about enjoying the process of writing Hana, but pointed to Drake as her favourite LI - "In my personal game, my love interest is definitely Drake, and I totally make Kara write him just so I can read his scenes and enjoy the romance. =)".
Perhaps if Jennifer had spent less time fawning over Drake, and more time doing Hana's story justice, that LI wouldn't be stuck in a situation where the team constantly erased her experiences and history to benefit their favourites)
When you look at Jeffrey's open admiration of Madeleine, and trace her fairly choppy and largely incoherent narrative journey through the books...a lot of things begin to make sense.
TRR1 - Would a TRR1 Madeleine Have Been A Better Fit for Hana?
When you look at the first book, you can tell that the possibility of any of the other alternative pairings besides Liam and Olivia wasn't really entertained. There is no buildup at all for Maxwell x Penelope, Drake x Kiara - and not even a single direct interaction between fellow competitors Hana and Madeleine. In fact, TRR2 often had to cover up for the lack of interaction in certain cases by making the alternative LI come up with justifications for why they weren't approaching the LI before.
There is maybe one implied interaction between Hana and Madeleine, that I don't think even the writers paid much attention to at the time. In the pie baking scene in Applewood, Hana is assigned to Madeleine's team if the MC doesn't take her along. Whichever group Hana is in, she is in charge of the pie design.
In the diamond scene, she takes the MC's suggestions and gives her advice on the amount of apples required for the filling. Given that she gives credit to the MC (in front of Queen Regina) in this option, and doesn't not do the same for Madeleine, it is likely that she was allowed to decorate for the other team, but not with much input from the captain.
This pie has a rose design, which is beautiful but lacks the intricacy and the challenge of the Cordonian Royal Seal, which the MC can suggest in the diamond scene. It's possible that by default, Madeleine handled the baking herself (since Penelope couldn't even boil water and in fact is so distracted she unwittingly helps sabotage the pie), and Hana was assigned strictly decoration duties. But even these possibilities rely on conjecture and guesswork, with no real dialogue or interaction shown.
There are no other scenes where the two women talk or do anything together. Hana may be present in one or two scenes where Madeleine is speaking (such as the dining scene in Ch 17 where Madeleine tells the court ladies about the upcoming Engagement Tour), but the two never directly engage with each other. It's more likely that (like Maxwell and Penelope, or Drake and Kiara), the writers may have thought of Hana and Madeleine only in the second or third book - more likely the third, but there are possible hints in TRR2 if you squint.
Hana is an interesting anomaly among the cast of TRR. She is both Cordonian and foreigner; the ways of the Cordonian court are, in equal parts, both familiar and confusing to her. This serves as an double-edged advantage to the MC - Hana is both skilled and knowledgeable enough to ease her into the culture, and isolated and vulnerable enough for the MC to step up as a hero on occasion. We also find out in Lythikos (TRR1 Ch 7) that she was so deep in the closet that she couldn't fully articulate her struggle to love the romantic English noble who wanted to marry her, in the presence of the woman she was slowly beginning to love. Within the competition itself, Hana is shown having a hard time finding people who will associate with her, often shown left out of events and her yacht party abandoned during the Regatta. The broken engagement could have a hand in making her appear to be struggling in the competition, but tbh Olivia is the only one who brings it up. Overall, she does well in the competition, but gets little credit for the same.
Madeleine is the polar opposite of this. Even though the ladies of the court initially view her with a mixture of pity and respect (due to her broken engagement with Leo, and her position as a Countess and winner of the previous season), their views on Madeleine once she enters the competition range from anger (Olivia), to speculation (Kiara and Penelope), to indifference and later suspicion (the MC).
Madeleine comes into the social season with several advantages: her pedigree and her years of experience at court. Both Bertrand and the MC note that Madeleine hails from a "powerful family" and "is immersed in the intrigues and maneuverings of courtly life", and therefore the MC is cautioned by Applewood to pay more attention to her than to Olivia. If the MC fails to win court favour, both Penelope and Kiara show allegiance to Madeleine. Where Hana is shown to be vulnerable despite her skills, charm and intelligence, Madeleine is meant to be viewed with respect even by her peers - and expected not to return that respect to others unless they're the king and queen.
I often view the Madeleine of Book 1 (and early TRR2), and the Madeleine of the latter half of Book 2, as two separate people (more on that in the next section). Early Madeleine was depicted as a clear threat. While she does nothing too out-of-pocket during the competition, her threats to the MC once she is (optionally) the favourite frontrunner, her singular focus on only the king and queen (and largely ignoring the Prince), and inability to respectfully lose, ensure that the reader registers her as a figure of danger early on. The first time she (optionally) faces an obvious loss and sees the MC crowned as Apple Queen, Madeleine tells her to "savour these moments. You may never hear the phrase again".
Her very extreme attempts to belatedly win Liam's favour after ignoring him the entire season (we later find out that she barged into his sleeping quarters the previous night and suggested the arrangement that Liam speaks about in TRR2), earns her speculative looks from the MC and wariness from Liam himself. Given that the outcome was so different in TRR2 but the buildup to said outcome was so rushed and chaotic, there is a 70/30 chance that Madeleine's buildup in Book 1 was meant to highlight her as someone with the capability to harm the MC, rather than just as a red herring. At the very most, Book 1 would highlight her as powerful, with the intention that Book 2 would follow through with showing her as a cog in a very vicious machine.
But because Madeleine's actions in TRR1 don't result in any direct harm, it's honestly hard to envision her as dangerous beyond the subtle threats (that people could brush off as basic rivalry) and rank classism.
Would Hana's pairing with the Madeleine of TRR1 have worked? It's equally hard to say. If we take only Book 1 into account, and ignore the very real possibility of a threat that Madeleine represents, there's a sliver of a chance that such a pairing could work...if Madeleine works on herself. At this point she hasn't manifested as a direct threat to Hana in a way that, say, Olivia has - and all the MC has at this point are theories and speculation. You'd have to probably change half of Madeleine's characterization, but it could be workable if the foundation for such a pairing was mutual respect from the start.
Still, when you take into consideration that Madeleine being involved in the plot against the MC was a very legitimate possibility, it's hard to see any opening for this pairing. Even Penelope - whose coddling from the narrative knew no limits - was no longer entertained as a potential alternative romance for an LI the moment her role in the plot was uncovered. If any harm was done to the MC, and Madeleine was found to be behind it, there is no way Hana would even be allowed to entertain the thought of her as an alternative LI at all.
You see - hurting Hana is no big deal. But hurting the MC and still getting an LI to show interest in you? Now that would be beyond the pale!
Madeleine: A Red Herring...Or A Villain Retconned?
As I have mentioned earlier, there is one writer - who has seniority in the company because of his many years there, who has always been in charge of Madeleine's writing, and who has always loved writing her. On close inspection one can say for certain that Jeffrey Herdman had a fair bit of sway in the team itself, especially from the fact that one of his weirdest writing suggestions - the MC's supposed obsession with hats - was retained in the books as a gag for a very, very long time (TRF finale livestream interview). When you take both Jeffrey's sway in the team, and the writing of Madeleine in TRR2 and 3 (and beyond), one can make several educated guesses about what Madeleine was built up to be, and how that changed midway.
Plenty of fan posts written in the gap between TRR1's finale and TRR2's release, took for granted that Madeleine would have some role to play in the plot against the MC. While one may assume this was due to "jealousy" from players or "hate for a bitchy character", there were enough signs in TRR1 and 2 that this was the route the narrative was initially planning to take with her.
The MC does voice suspicions of Madeleine in the first book - mostly after Madeleine herself voices threats to the MC during the Apple Queen ceremony. Madeleine also looks apprehensive at the (optional) public support Liam shows towards the MC at the Beaumont estate, and even shows him a suspiciously huge amount of attention at the Coronation. The MC even confronts Madeleine during the Coronation festivities when she gets a note threatening her to withdraw from the competition, believing it was sent by the latter. But beyond this, Madeleine's own words in TRR1 often sound ominous and laced with subtle threats. Still - going by just TRR1's evidence, Madeleine could still work as a good red herring, since she's not exactly crossed a clear line with anyone yet.
TRR2 seems to go in one direction when it comes to Madeleine's arc, then makes a sharp pivot in the opposite direction post Chs 7 and 8. The first half of the book has both the MC and Liam regard her with doubt and suspicion, especially when the MC learns that Madeleine had come to Liam's rooms the night before the Coronation, and insisted he continue the relationship with the MC on the sly while making her the queen. The book presents several contrasts between Madeleine and the MC, presenting their possible ruling styles and envisioning how each woman would fare as a future queen.
In a diamond scene in TRR2 Ch 4, Liam asks the MC how she would handle a plate of curry chicken falling on someone - an incident that has already occurred in some playthroughs to Madeleine (who got recognizably frustrated and called the whole episode "a disaster"). In contrast, the MC can claim she would either defuse the situation with humour or help clear the mess - both of which establish that unlike Madeleine the MC knows how to adapt to different situations, and prefers to find a solution rather than take her frustrations out on everyone else. Liam points out the differences between the two women as the MC "having perspective... every gaffe isn't a disaster".
Multiple scenes in the story focus on Madeleine's rigidity, her inability to adapt, her hunger for power, her belief that becoming queen gives her a free pass to be a tyrant, her hubris that allows her to outright harm some of her ladies in waiting and believe she will never face consequences, and her overall lack of real impact during her own engagement tour (only if the MC fails miserably does the Italian statesman Francesco even mention Madeleine). A lot of this buildup indicates that she won't be as effective a queen as other characters claim she will be.
Her overall behaviour in the first half of TRR2 seems to highlight overconfidence, and a willingness to overstep every possible boundary in the belief that nothing will now prevent her from getting what she wants ("the best part about being Queen is that I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Including you."). Even though she isn't queen yet, both Madeleine and everyone around her behave as if she has already been crowned! That kind of overconfidence - especially from someone who should know better than anyone that winning the competition doesn't necessarily mean she'll be crowned - makes more sense when she is aware that there are powerful people (like the former king and her aunt, the former queen) to back her.
There is also the fact that Penelope's involvement in the plot never got any proper buildup. There is just one scene, in TRR2 Ch 6, where she speaks about feeling uncomfortable at parties and balls, and how much she hates crowds. The reveal of her being the culprit is in Ch 7; the reveal of her social anxiety is in Ch 8. Before this, you have zero indicators of her being involved in this level of deception - even though her history of "social anxiety" should have ideally made that kind of subterfuge difficult, and she should have been able to leave a few tells, signalling her guilt. It is very clear on rereads that Penelope's involvement in the plot was a last-minute narrative decision.
But perhaps the strongest evidence that TRR2 was originally meant to establish Madeleine as part of the plot against the MC, is a line from the very first scene of the book. When a confused MC asks Bertrand how it's possible for Liam to break his engagement, Bertrand mentions a constitutional provision:
"The king is able to change his selection in specific cases for the good of the nation". The MC being proven as framed and unfairly disgraced achieves very little in this context, because the focus is clearly on the king's final choice. This means that the engagement cannot be voided on the basis of the MC being innocent, but on the basis of Madeleine being unfit for the role.
What happens to this "constitutional clause" once Penelope is declared the culprit among the court ladies rather than Madeleine? It disappears completely. If she was really meant to be a red herring from the start, the team would never have added this line in the first place. Nor would they have left the "buildup" for Penelope's anxiety till Ch 6, just one chapter before her reveal. If Madeleine was really meant to be a mere red herring from the start, there would have been more than just one crumb presented for that trail.
It is highly possible that the team had plans for Madeleine to be involved in the plot, or in something shady enough to justify breaking the engagement. It is just as highly possible that Jeffrey, the writer in charge of her character, allowed his favouritism for that character to dictate his writing of her, and convinced the team to change the trajectory of the story to benefit her.
Hana and Madeleine - The First Half of TRR2
Most of the interactions between Hana and Madeleine in TRR2 are overshadowed by one incident in Ch 7 - the one most popularly known as "the chocolate incident". Madeleine was already not too popular as a character when this scene came out, but her admission that she wanted to break Hana crossed enough of a line that a number of players would bring it up as a reason for why they couldn't ever like her, no matter how often she was retconned in canon.
A common misconception made about the "chocolate incident" from Madeleine lovers and haters alike, is that it's viewed as a singular episode rather than as an escalation in an ongoing pattern of threats that Madeleine was already making to Hana.
Viewing it as an isolated incident is precisely what allowed both Madeleine stans, and the canon narrative itself, to severely downplay what Madeleine did, and what she openly declared she would continue doing to Hana. Therefore, it is essential to look into Hana and Madeleine's interactions before Ch 7, as well as the context behind Hana's return to court and the very real and grave threat that Madeleine represents to Hana specifically.
To do this, we must first look into how Hana's return to court (after her parents forced her to leave post Coronation) is depicted. There are two versions of this story - Madeleine's version...and the truth.
Madeleine's Version: "If it wasn't for me, she'd still be on the other side of the world. I've heard dogs remember those who feed them. I hope you'll keep this in mind and remember that dear Hana is here by my personal invitation". This is a half-truth at best and ironically, this is the version Hana sticks to. She is never allowed to tell us differently.
The truth, as said by Liam to Hana post Coronation: "I am the King of Cordonia. I'm sure Lady Madeleine knows that if she wants to keep our engagement, she'll have to give me something. Perhaps I can convince her to make you part of her court". Hana never gets to tell us this. That honour is given to Drake!
Even after the MC (optionally) gets to know this truth, she never talks to Hana about it, and Hana is never allowed to veer from Madeleine's narrative even in private. In the process, Madeleine gets to use her half-truth as a form of blackmail - threatening Hana at least twice to send her back to China if she paces even one toe out of Madeleine's arbitrary line.
In TRR2 Ch 4, Madeleine is shown antagonizing her entire court (ordering Penelope to get lemonade and comparing her to dogs, telling Kiara to exoticize herself by not speaking in English [which itself has colonial/Orientalist connotations]). But none is more ominous and disturbing than her subtle threat to Hana before introducing her to the two suitors:
Being sent back to her parents is a terrifying prospect for Hana...for two reasons. For one, Hana is committed to being there for the MC, to contributing to her investigation (and she does! Massively. Perhaps more than anyone else in the group). For another, she is just beginning to realize what a damaging environment her parents' house is, and she also knows they are already growing suspicious that she hasn't found another suitor yet. By the end of this conversation, Hana is visibly distraught... to the point of needing moral support (something she rarely asks for herself).
Remember - this is an arbitrary rule Madeleine comes up with, that applies only to Hana. In the same conversation, neither Kiara nor Penelope are placed under this kind of pressure. Though Penelope claims in Ch 6 that her parents won't allow her to come home if she doesn't get a suitor, Madeleine doesn't levy any other threats of this nature on her (she harms Penelope in other ways).
Madeleine is aware that Liam was the one responsible for Hana's return. It is implied that she is also aware that neither Liam nor Hana can say this in public. By this coin, she'd know that she shouldn't be the one who can take a call on sending Hana back - Liam is. Yet she issues this sort of a threat, and worse still...is allowed to get away with it through Hana and the MC's silence, both in private and in public.
Unlike the MC and Olivia, the other three ladies of the court are present in official positions to the future Queen, and are expected to publicly pledge loyalty to her. The narrative of TRR2 alone seems to give the King's fiancรจe powers and influences similar to an actual Queen Consort's. And Hana, Kiara and Penelope aren't just random "court members" - they are Madeleine's ladies-in-waiting. They cannot even speak to certain people unless she approves of it (Ch 1), she orders them around with the disrespect that many in that nobility reserve for their servants (Penelope in Ch 4), she publicly humiliates and insults them if they make a single mistake (eg. Penelope not getting a metallic dress in time for the bachelorette), and she can get away with causing them grievous harm (Hana). There is no actual point to any of this behaviour - it achieves nothing and (by the narrative parameters of the third book) is actually foolish, because Madeleine's actions could cost the royal family their relationship with the Great Houses. Neither the MC nor Liam (the actual monarch), would be allowed by the narrative later to abuse their power the way Madeleine can, in a position that isn't even hers yet!
It is easy to view Madeleine's interactions with Hana and Penelope especially, as just some regular mean-girls shit, with all the excuses, justifications and crocodile tears that the fandom can shower on said white/white-passing mean girls. Canon itself encourages this reading when they use the word "hazing" to describe what Madeleine put Hana through. But when we speak of Madeleine's behaviour in her engagement tour that way, we miss a very important aspect of her dynamic with these two women. They are no longer competitors or mere allies. They are not just people she knows in court.
They are not Madeleine's equals. They are her employees. She is directly in a position of immense, unquestioned and unchecked power over them. Publicly, she has the authority to invite them into her court, and to throw them out of their jobs. It is from that lens, that we must view her behaviour, especially in Ch 7.
The "Chocolate Incident" and Its Aftermath
Another reason to believe Jeffrey's favouritism for Madeleine allowed for an actual change in the story, is the way this above scene - and the ones preceding it - were handled immediately in both the immediate and long-term aftermath.
Often dubbed "the chocolate incident", this scene takes place in Italy (the first stop of the engagement tour) during Madeleine's bachelorette. For anyone who has forgotten the incident, Madeleine's ladies-in-waiting are supposed to organize different fun activities for her bachelorette, and the MC uses each event as both a PR exercise and an opportunity to check the credit cards of the ladies.
The final activity is Hana's, an intricately-planned chocolate fondue party complete with chocolate-themed games and treats. If one reads too much between the lines, one could maybe notice the tiniest sliver of a romantic hint in Hana's conversation with the MC over her confusing an actual bachelorette party with the show The Bachelorette (It is just as possible tho - if not more - that this is a comic aside pointing to Hana's lack of exposure to modern media).
However, things take a turn for the worst at this juncture. Madeleine heavily berates Hana for not knowing that she is "allergic to chocolate", accusing her of an attempt to murder and even threatening to remove her from her position in court. This leaves Hana so distraught that she ruins her own dress in the process, and is damn near inconsolable. The MC can - if she chooses - comfort Hana along with their friends. At the end of the night, a heavily drunk Madeleine gleefully admits she lied about the allergy and gloats about wanting to keep hurting Hana till she breaks, because she "wants to have a little fun".
She claims, when asked why, that it's because "everyone wants something, but the nice ones like Hana don't even have the decency to act like it". Which sounds like the sort of sick logic that fandom often happily accepts from their favourite white antagonists, where they can project whatever sob story they want to make such a reasoning palatable. Such attempts ignore the fact that Madeleine is torturing someone for supposed "duplicity" when she is herself well-known for being insincere.
Later, when it was convenient for the fandom to hate on Hana, she would be either blamed for the torture Madeleine put her through (because she was "weak" or "too nice", or that she was "spineless and deserved this treatment". I even saw posts that claimed it "wasn't that bad" (in the case of one particularly memorable instance, a Madeleine stan went so far as to say, agreeing with a post expressing a fondness for Madeleine: "...before anyone mentions the chocolate prank: Did Hana die, tho?"). Some also tried to reason that it was fair for Madeleine to target Hana, either to showcase her "wiles" or because of her sad sad childhood.
As I pointed out earlier, every single one of these takes tend to downplay Madeleine's bullying/abuse so that it sounds more like a schoolyard squabble that happened only once, rather than a person in power consistently placing their employee's job under threat, with the stated intention of harming them mentally and emotionally on a regular basis, until they experienced a breakdown. The center of this conflict isn't about different people with different approaches. Nor is it about court maneuvering or wiles because honestly, nothing worthwhile was achieved through Madeleine's abuse, and she had no purpose for doing those things beyond deriving a sick pleasure from other people's suffering.
It isn't about nice vs tough, nor ambitious vs generous, nor "naive" vs "jaded". It is about a gross power imbalance. An imbalance that results in the exploitation of the more vulnerable party...which is later brushed aside by the one who claims to be the latter's "friend" like it means nothing.
Structure wise, one can see striking similarities between this chapter, and TRR1's Ch 7, where the MC can view Olivia in a new light in the first half of the chapter, but be disturbed by her vindictive nature by the end of it. Here too, the MC comes into the investigation of the credit cards fully expecting to see Madeleine as the culprit. Over the course of the evening she finds Madeleine treating her ladies-in-waiting badly, but also calling out the press for targeting only the MC but staying silent on Tariq's involvement (ironically, Madeleine herself didn't exactly believe the MC if she tells her she was set up). She is also shocked when she realises Madeleine isn't the culprit at the club. Still, the court is given a rude shock when Hana is accused of putting Madeleine's life in danger.
Clearly the aim of such a chapter was to make the MC soften a little towards Madeleine, while still keeping some of the antagonistic tension. However, the more direct impact of Madeleine's huge ego trip on Hana made the harm far more visible than Olivia's jibes towards a woman who was far away...plus the scenes that followed in the former sequence centered Drake, far more than the ones in the latter that involved comforting Hana.
Madeleine's bullying also clashes - quite conveniently - with the reveal of Penelope's betrayal, so that the latter overshadows what Hana went through altogether.
It is important to note at this point that the MC is the only person not directly tied in an alliance to Madeleine (besides Olivia and Maxwell, who are then missing at the fashion show backstage scene in Paris) who knows Madeleine's intentions towards Hana. She is the only person present at the event in Paris, who knows that Madeleine intended to continue harassing her until she broke. Hana herself is never made fully aware of this, and if she is left in a vulnerable, dangerous position while on her mission to support the MC's investigation - then the fault lies to a large extent with the MC for keeping silent, rather than protecting her friend from someone who fully intended to hurt her.
I say this because in France (Ch 8), the MC's exposing of Madeleine is by choice, rather than default (this essay has a full breakdown of said scene). Moreover, the option where the MC can "expose" her will result in Madeleine lying about the act being an "official hazing" she does for all her ladies-in-waiting. Not only does the MC neglect to contest Madeleine's claims (or even tell Hana the full truth in secret), she also parrots Madeleine's lie in a conversation with Adeleide in NY, as if it were the truth (Ch 14).
Remember how I mentioned Jeffrey - the writer who was in charge of Madeleine's scenes and sang her praises in TRR2's pre-release interview? His influence here is obvious in the way the narrative sharply pivots away from Madeleine's characterization so far, to engage in a full-blown pity party.
The abuses of her power (towards Hana and Penelope in particular) stop. The parallels that canon makes between Madeleine and the MC as future Queens, stop. No reference, ever, is made of her actions before Ch 8.
For over seven chapters, Madeleine largely fades into the background - sometimes there will be scenes where she is present, but without any dialogue or actions. Sometimes she may make a catty move like getting the MC to pick up her wedding ring, but from a safe distance. Because she doesn't openly antagonize anyone or show up much in Chs 9-15, the sense of distance could allow some to soften in their memories of her. Especially when the only strong reminders of Madeleine in these chapters come from Adeleide, her mother.
Adeleide is an important cog in the machinery that resulted in the retconning of Madeleine's character in TRR2. Without her, Patriotic!Madeleine wouldn't have become canon. Adeleide sets the stage for this extremely inaccurate reading of her, with complaints on two occasions about how Madeleine is "putting too much pressure on herself" and working too hard. Which contradicts her very real actions in Applewood and Italy, where she regularly antagonized her entire court and where she doesn't get much notable approval from foreign dignitaries (Signor Francesco) unless the MC is that bad.
The narrative, at this point, expects us to view her with sympathy, as someone who could have been "an excellent queen" (Adeleide's words, not mine). The stage is clearly set so that we pity her when Liam calls off the engagement and she loses this position, that we can see her loss as "unfair". It ensures that there is an overflow of sympathy for Madeleine's plight, especially since she had already lost her chance to become Queen once before with Leo. By this point, many readers had actually forgotten the "chocolate incident" altogether, and were more than willing to view Madeleine as a patriot who wasn't given her due. A description that, ironically, more accurately fits Hana.
Is Hana Really Just A Nice Girl who Never Fights Back?
As I mentioned before, Hana's "niceness" and "weakness" were sometimes presented in fandom as justifications/reasons for Madeleine's bullying of her, often in an attempt to shift blame or make it sound like Madeleine's stated "reasons" (in TRR2 Ch 7) to hurt her were legitimate. Almost as if to say that Hana was targeted because she presents herself as an easy target.
To be clear, I don't subscribe to such a train of thought myself. Different people react to bullies and abusers in different ways - and not being able to push back aggressively in tense situations doesn't make anyone a lesser person. In fact, canon itself doesn't mind providing a "weaker" person protection against someone like Madeleine...as long as that person is Penelope. So we cannot even claim that Hana's "weakness" is why Madeleine targets her, or why the MC shouldn't have to protect Hana better.
Canon also doesn't help much in this respect, especially with their preferences for the meaner white women. In fact the narrative doesn't even allow Hana the chance to speak up in private against Madeleine's half-truths about her return, and she is made to easily accept Madeleine's "hazing" excuse. Let's not even get into how she speaks about Madeleine in TRR3. Additionally, no one in Hana's own friend group provides adequate protection or support - they stay silent where it counts.
But is Hana really that incapable of fighting for herself? According to the finale of TRR1, no.
Even though the scene is hidden behind a paywall, Hana's pushback against Olivia's treatment of her during the social season is strong, decisive and done entirely on her own initiative, with no prompting or involvement from the MC. She is honest about the ways in which Olivia has hurt her, but also makes it clear that Olivia's opinions and vitriol no longer matter - effectively reclaiming her own power in the process.
Such a scene is a clear indicator that Hana is capable of pushing back, and isn't afraid to speak truth to power - as early as TRR1. While one could say that as a diamond scene, it is possible that it can't be fully shown as canon - there are ways the writers know how to incorporate such things. Often, they have managed to write in similar scenes or the same information into free scenes later on (eg. the selling of Liam's bachelor party photos, which wasn't even that important to the story of TRR2). Hana could have had a free pushback scene with Olivia if the writers really wanted to give her one.
That aside, it's safe to say that there is a precedent for Hana being able to fight back before TRR2, and canon could have found ways to ensure that she could safely do so with Madeleine too. Or at least have more protection and care from her friend group, if her position as lady-in-waiting prevented her from speaking out. Penelope got to demand protection later on, after all - and she wasn't even our friend.
We must also take into account the positions of power that Madeleine, Olivia and later even the MC hold. Madeleine is a countess in line to become queen in TRR2. Olivia is a duchess, and the MC herself is given this honour in Book 2. Hana - despite her skills, knowledge and charm - never gets lands, nor a title unless she marries the MC. Hana's experience in Cordonia isn't just about "other women" being mean to her with the MC being "not like other girls" - all three of the above women are in positions of power over her, and even the nicest of them uses her more often than she helps.
TRR2 doesn't exactly build Hana and Madeleine as a pair. In hindsight one can read romantic hints into Madeleine's mocking usage of the word "darling" around Hana, Hana's attempt to replicate The Bachelorette for Madeleine's bachelorette party, and read parallels into both their toxic family histories (particularly Hana with her mother and Madeleine with her father). But there is no actual romantic content there that one could find with the other three pairs, which leads me to believe that Hana and Madeleine was only taken seriously as a romantic prospect in TRR3.
How did Madeleine become the final romantic choice for Hana, and no one else? Because the relationship was never made Hana's benefit - it was for Madeleine's. Given all the evidence laid out about TRR1!Madeleine, TRR2!Madeleine and including hints that she may have actually been written as the villain at some point, it's more likely that Madeleine's main writer ensured some changes in the writing of his favourite character midway into the story, resulting in her staying longer in court and several retcons that painted her as a tragic heroine and completely erased any actions that contradicted such a narrative.
This specific narrative also seems to draw upon a narrative trope that is seen sometimes in certain stories featuring queer couples - the Armoured Closted Gay. It is employed often enough, mostly to show the pervasiveness and immense pressure heteronormativity can have on some queer people - that sometimes, they hate themselves for not adhering to the norm and therefore project that self-hatred onto people like them. PB had done a similar kind of story in TF and ILITW - with Zig and an aggressive teammate Manny (but with discussions on sexual harassment and about being closeted) and with Lily Oritz and her crush Britney. Unlike Zig's and Lily's cases though, this sort of narrative hardly centers on Hana.
Hana is hardly treated as a person in her own right in this narrative. She is treated as a "consolation prize" for Madeleine's "good behaviour" and "hard work". Which is still a really, really hard story to sell when one of the characters states outright that they'd abuse their power over the other till she breaks.
So how does PB get back from that kind of cruelty, and convert it into an actual romance?
Madeleine in TRR3 - The Royal Retcon
(In order: MC complimenting Madeleine to Godfrey (Ch 3), response to Madeleine's "send my regards to Hana (Ch 9), Madeleine asking for a dance (Ch 16), Optional response about memories of Madeleine's bachelorette in Hana's Vegas diamond scene (Ch 16))
By gaslighting an entire fandom, of course.
TRR3 requires us at the very start to do two things - to recruit Madeleine into replacing Justin as our press secretary, and to convince her family to join the Unity Tour so that Cordonia knows its nobility stands with the Crown. Until this point, we've only had hints of Madeleine's so-called "patriotism", mostly from Adeleide. TRR3 Ch 3 goes full force on this reading: having Madeleine claim (in the most positive option) that all her efforts to become queen was "for my people...it was always for Cordonia", having Hana claim that Madeleine "would mostly likely take a bullet for Liam... because you'd never leave Cordonia without a King". Coupled with Godfrey and Adeleide's toxic family dynamics, the story is set to push forward a narrative where we are meant to sympathize with her and preferably downplay her behaviour from the previous book.
Throughout Madeleine's tenure as press sec, we are expected to laud her "work" - even though the truth is that she makes our work harder by giving us heavy folders and 100 note cards of materials just minutes before our meetings, and leaving out important information (like Zeke) for us to scramble about and find. Where during her time as future queen, her ladies-in-waiting were expected to have every detail perfect as per her desires otherwise face her wrath - as our employee, we are expected to appreciate efforts alone, and be lenient when she doesn't follow our rules (eg. wearing gold for our bachelorette when she was supposed to wear muted colours, trying to sneak in a white dress to our wedding). Most of our responses to her "work" involve fulsome praise, or at most a very light criticism that still claims she's good at her job (she isn't). And it isn't just the MC - even Justin (who recommended her) and Hana are made to sing her praises.
Having canon claim Madeleine does a good job when she actually doesn't is... frustrating, but not as awful as the retconning they do for her past behaviour. But it is part of a pattern that whitewashes Madeleine altogether so the readers can consider her deserving of the rewards that the narrative so badly wants to give her, whether her actual conduct matches up to these fulsome praises or not.
One clear tactic that is used to achieve this, was to have the person she harmed the most, speak of her in glowing terms. In TRR3 Ch 3, you have at least two instances during the "Cordonia's Most" game where Hana uses the game to compliment Madeleine. Here, she compliments Madeleine on knowing how to "charm a crowd...her confidence and poise", and claims her to be very patriotic. If the MC refuses to coddle Madeleine during their private conversation, the onus to be kind to her rests solely on Hana's shoulders, where she is required to say, "maybe it's time to see if you can catch more flies with honey". Hana is also shown wanting to include Madeleine in group activities (TRR3 Ch 6, before going to the spa), in the same way she tried to include Olivia in TRR2. When we're shown a Hana who is not only willing but enthusiastic to speak to Madeleine, it further encourages the reader to befriend her - almost as if to say, "if Hana doesn't mind being friendly with her, why should you?".
And this wouldn't be possible at all if canon was honest about Madeleine's conduct in TRR2. So much about Madeleine's advice to us in TRR3 directly contradicts her own behaviour as future queen in TRR2 ("having an entourage isn't about vanity...it's about support"). Had canon actually been honest about her conduct, this statement would be viewed as extremely ironic, a huge portion of the blame for Penelope's reluctance to return to court would be (rightly) placed on Madeleine's shoulders and we would be able to call her out specifically on her tyrannical behaviour as future queen, as well as her inability to adjust her work to suit her client now. We would not be placing Madeleine on a pedestal ad nauseum, or paying much attention to her childish complaints that her "efforts" are going unappreciated.
Whenever the early part of the engagement tour is referenced, it is spoken of in the vaguest, most milquetoast terms. The narrative will speak vaguely of "meanness", but never actually specify what Madeleine did. The closest we get to any sort of confirmation of this is in the Costume Gala (Ch 9) if the MC warns Madeleine to stay away from Hana...and even there, the MC just says she did "mean things". Which is the mildest possible way I have seen of someone describing a person who gloated about breaking Hana. Like the word "hazing" from the previous book, all these vague references leave it to the readers' faint memories, or imagination, to figure out what Madeleine did.
But all of these are just hints at best, and most of what we could assume of the writers' intentions came largely from guesswork. There was constantly a sense of something not being right, but many of us at the time couldn't completely articulate it. That is, until Ch 16, and only if we pressed a specific option in the Vegas diamond scene, in just Hana's playthrough:
Unlike the previous scenes - which were mostly attempts to obfuscate the events of the previous book - this scene replaces what actually happened with blatant lies. Not only does it wipe out entirely what Madeleine did, replacing it with a casual comment from Hana about her "fun side", it also smears Kiara for something she didn't do at all during the bachelorette (for clarity, Kiara found out she was a great dancer, and looked quite annoyed if the MC chose a wrong dialogue option as an excuse to see her card. The MC never saw her lashing out at Penelope during this event). Even if the MC and Hana were so drunk that night that they wouldn't remember events clearly (which isn't how they're depicted at all when the "chocolate incident" took place), it wouldn't be replaced with things that never actually happened. The writers were more than ready to throw Kiara under the bus to make Madeleine look better, and have those lies come out of Hana's mouth (and mind you, Hana liked Kiara so much she chose her to be her MoH in Ch 18 of her playthrough, so it can't even have been spite towards Kiara on her part).
In contrast, Penelope is allowed to be open about Madeleine's mistreatment of her. In fact she cites it as the main reason for her reluctance to return to court, and even complains at the MC if the latter asks her if she didn't get the memo on the bachelorette dress code in TRR3 Ch 16 ("oh no, no, it's like Madeleine all over again!"). The group is required to protect her from Madeleine; in Ch 4, when Penelope is upset at the very sight of Madeleine, Drake comes to her rescue and reassures her ("She's with us, Penelope. We won't let her bite."). While Madeleine herself is protected from any consequences for what she did to Penelope (besides an optional tiny jibe in Ch 4), the MC and her group are required to reassure her that they will never allow it to happen again. In a very disgusting contrast, the narrative pushes Hana at the forefront of the diamond scene with Madeleine, without ever considering her comfort or safety around the person who wanted to break her. Not only does the group involve her without ever asking her if she wants to be part of it - Drake and Maxwell safely distance themselves when the time comes for Madeleine to speak personally about her troubles, and the MC can choose not to be sympathetic in certain dialogue options. Which means that the onus to comfort and persuade her is largely on Hana's shoulders. We must also remember that, unlike Penelope, Hana is deprived of the full truth of Madeleine's intentions in the last book too.
Where the writers were ready to at least admit that Madeleine's behaviour affected Penelope deeply, they went to the extent of completely rewriting the narrative of her TRR2 bachelorette to erase what she put Hana through.
The "Romance" in TRR3
(First four screenshots from my playthroughs, next four from the Adventure...Romance...Thrills YouTube Channel, and the final row's screenshots from the Annabelle Lee YouTube channel and the Skylia YouTube channel)
The Hana and Madeleine "romance" is hinted at in 5 scenes (4 in other playthroughs, and just one in Hana's own). As with most of the other romances, Madeleine's feelings are the most prominent. To the more romance-coded overtures, Hana's reaction is usually shock and disbelief, with a small suspicion over whether Madeleine is doing this to trick her into humiliation later. But the narrative gives her very little opportunity to even talk about anything related to Madeleine, especially anything negative. You do have a scene at the finale that is meant to provide closure, but not in a romantic way. This scene is very different from the others, and in some ways puts an end to the possibility of this relationship happening anytime soon.
How did we get from those scenes to this final one in Ch 22? It would be useful to look at the scenes, within the timeline of TRR3's release and with the context of fandom reactions.
1. The "Cordonia's Most" Scene (Ch 3)
This diamond scene is written to give the MC/reader a bit of background on Madeleine's past and family, which will prove useful later when she has to convince the Amaranths to fix their relationship with each other. It is set against the background of a drinking game where an asker can quiz everyone else about who would be the most likely to do a particular action. Hana references Madeleine twice in the game (in a very complimentary manner), and Madeleine references Hana once. It was her comment about Hana being "stupidly sweet and perfect" that caught the attention of some readers and made them wonder if that was the route PB was planning to take with Hana. This dialogue shows up in Hana's route as well.
In later chapters, we see instances of Hana trying to include Madeleine in group activities...such as in Ch 6 where she invites the latter to come with them to the spa after the football match with Jiro and Camellia.
2 and 3. Cross-Referencing Each Other at Costume Gala (Ch 9)
This is a very interesting development, at an equally interesting time. Around the time Ch 9 released (end-April 2018), PB announced that TRR's team would be taking a hiatus, mostly to work on "some exciting stuff" during that break. It also gave them the time to work on certain things the fandom was demanding, and do away with others due to stan vitriol (Kiara's attraction towards Drake being one of them). The next chapter would only appear a month and a half later (mid-June).
Ch 9 sneaked in a scene that hinted at Hana and Madeleine as a romance option, but in a way that made it very hard for players to notice on a casual read. The scene is split in two parts: the MC can choose to speak to either Hana and Olivia, or Maxwell, Justin and Madeleine. Hana and Olivia's scene shows the two commenting on Gala outfits, which kickstarts a conversation about diplomacy vs bluntness. The latter option explores a variety of topics, mostly revolving around an appreciation for Madeleine's "great work".
Both Hana and Madeleine reference each other in their scenes. Hana's dialogue depends on whether the MC is her fiancรจe or not; in other playthroughs, she admires Madeleine's costume, the compliment on her good looks very personal. In her own playthrough, she compliments Kiara's outfit but in a more distant fashion ("subtle and clever, just like her...very well-chosen"). In Madeleine's scene (which is the same across playthroughs), the ending involves her telling the MC to "send my regards to Hana", in response to which she can choose a line of questioning (which ranges from "protective towards Hana" to largely indifferent. In all three options, thankfully, the MC can close with "don't let me catch you antagonizing her", but that really is one small mercy in a pile of blatant retconning.
What marks Hana's dialogue about Madeleine as an LI-specific option, is that she says something entirely different if the MC is getting married to her. This is an indication that the dialogue was intended to be read as romantic, and that it couldn't be said by an LI who was already in love and ready to marry the MC. Pretty much in the same way that Olivia in Liam's playthrough cannot hold his hand in Applewood or dance with him in Vegas.
I wrote an essay on this at the time - both on the possibility of the pairing and why it was a bad idea - and the overall response I received at the time was mixed. Those who remembered exactly what went down at Madeleine's bachelorette and weren't her fans hated the prospect, but some weren't as convinced and some refused to believe it would happen. So there was some pushback for it, citing Madeleine's "chocolate incident" (thankfully, since there were players who had forgotten about it), but it was very low-key and didn't gain much traction.
4. An Offer to Dance in Vegas (Ch 16)
The most obvious indication of Hana and Madeleine being a romantic possibility was in the Vegas chapter. It was impossible to miss for people who didn't romance Hana. This scene, again, featured only in playthroughs where Hana wasn't getting married - which meant that many Hana-romancers didn't get to know of this pairing unless they were told by a friend or saw any such posts on their dash (some even found out years later, to their shock and dismay).
The mild pushback from Ch 9 resulted in a scene where the writers could be emboldened to continue writing this pairing, but confirm (in the vaguest possible way) that Madeleine treated Hana badly. Madeleine's non-apology "apology" really reads more like an attempt to get into Hana's pants than actual regret, and is followed by a reaction from Hana that is confusing in its mildness. Hana is surprised at the offer to dance, asking Madeleine whether she's trying to trick her. While the mild suspicion is a slight improvement from Hana's fulsome praise and enthusiastic attempts to involve Madeleine in group stuff in previous chapters, it still downplays what Hana suffered at Madeleine's hands by making her present the weakest, most milquetoast examples of "fooling someone", examples that pale miserably in comparison to what Madeleine actually put Hana through.
With both the "stupidly sweet and perfect" dialogue and this scene, you'll notice that Madeleine is not only the one who initiates the conversation, but is also the only one with an actual voice in these exchanges. Forget having an opinion on whether she wants to have anything to do with Madeleine or not - the narrative doesn't even give poor Hana the opportunity to properly react beyond mere shock.
There was a stronger reaction to this scene than to the Ch 9 one, because it was way more visible (though you could avoid it just by letting Madeleine stay in her hotel) with Madeleine's romantic intentions on full display. Her asking Hana for a dance immediately after the no apology made it pretty obvious. Players who didn't see the Ch 9 scenes or who didn't believe the divergences meant anything, now couldn't deny that this was positioned as an alternative romance. Additionally by this time, those who forgot about the "chocolate incident" did get reminded of the exact scene, so the vagueness with which Madeleine "addressed" her actions in TRR2 felt criminally inadequate for a number of readers.
Most of us, however, didn't know about the retcon in Hana's Vegas scene, until years later. Those who didn't do Hana's playthrough would have had no idea, and those who did more likely chose the more romantic options.
5. "Jealous?" (Ch 20)
This scene is unique in that the option shows up across all playthroughs, but the specific reaction only shows up in two of them. It's understandable that Hana stans would have missed this - the dialogue is an option, the response is very fleeting and you would have to look through the same option in other playthroughs to recognise the variations.
In the cases of both Drake and Maxwell, Madeleine's response to this jibe from the MC is "ugh, please". Dismissive, almost mocking the idea that she would have any interest in them. In Liam's and Hana's cases, she appears shocked for a minute, then composes herself and gives a more neutral response ("I...I refuse to dignify such a ridiculous question with a response"). In Liam's case, one can safely assume that even though she had no romantic interest in him, she was still on the verge of marrying Liam and that alone would make the situation awkward. In Hana's case there is really no other reason for her to feel that awkward besides having lingering feelings that she cannot suppress.
While this version of the scene doesn't feature in playthroughs where she is single at all, it's still a very strong indicator of authorial intent. Even in the face of backlash against the pairing, the writers clearly wanted to continue hinting at the possibility, if they were slipping in hints of Madeleine's feelings for Hana as late as Ch 20 (just two chapters before the finale). The most plausible theory for this inclusion would be that the backlash was a lot more than it was after Ch 9, but not entirely enough to do away without the pairing completely...yet.
6. "I Wanted To Break You" (Ch 22)
No one knows what happened between Chs 20 and 22, and there's little I can think of that would account for such a quick change in such a short span of time. The finale has a scene featuring Hana and Madeleine, that begins by drawing more obvious parallels between the two women and their families (until now, the parallels were not as pronounced. It's not exactly a great parallel to begin with, since Madeleine has at least one supportive parent and doesn't get punished to the extent that Hana has been, if she openly protests against her parents' methods. But in TRR3 the narrative sometimes does use Hana's toxic parental situation as a parallel to garner sympathy for Madeleine's).
However, once the parents are out of the picture, the attention then turns to Hana and Madeleine, setting the stage for either a romantic confession or a full apology. This time, canon opts to go for the latter.
Unlike all the others, this scene is bluntly specific not just about what Madeleine did but what exactly her intentions were. It has her use the word "break"; it has her actually say the word "sorry". It allowed Hana, for the first time, to fully hear the truth about the harm Madeleine planned to wreck on her. And most importantly, it also allowed Hana her own voice in response to Madeleine's revelations, making it very clear to her that her forgiveness needed to be earned, over a period of time.
The dialogues used to talk about Madeleine's bachelorette in the finale are poles apart from the language they'd used earlier ("hazing", "put my ladies through their paces", "mean things", "refuse to coddle", "wronged"). The finale scene was a more accurate return to the original language and purpose of that bachelorette scene. In fact it sounds less like what canon had been attempting to gaslight their readers into believing thus far, and even seemed to borrow verbatim from the language of the readers who closely followed this issue.
One could call it a good closure scene on the surface level...but there are many, many problems with it.
One was the reaction of the MC. Her angry "excuse me?" in response to Madeleine's confession is still a very obvious retcon. It may have been done to preserve the myth that the MC is a good friend/wife to Hana, but reads as extremely dishonest when you remember that canonically, the MC knew the truth about Madeleine's intentions the whole time and just chose to leave Hana in the dark. It's an attempt to make the MC seem protective that ultimately rings false.
Another is the excuse Madeleine gives for why she targeted Hana. "I wanted to push Hana too far, and for her to drop the nice-girl act once and for all! Only, it isn't an act, is it?" My response when I first read this was "if Hana was faking it...so what. So fucking what. Who was she harming". Coming from the reigning queen of duplicity herself, Madeleine is really not in a position to be judging anyone for putting up a front. This also ties into the hollowness of the motives PB tried to belatedly cook up for TRR2 Madeleine's bullying - no matter what canon says to whitewash her actions, her attempts achieved nothing, did no good for Cordonia, and would likely have led to a very fractured court if the Unity Tour was held while she was queen.
Ultimately, the possibility of this pairing becoming canon was laid to rest in the final chapter. One could interpret Madeleine's promise of a starting gesture ("know that if anyone at court gives you trouble, I can make them regret it") as a possible opening to something more, but considering the earlier backlash, that was unlikely.
TRH - Madeleine Gets The Penelope Treatment, Hana Gets Her Entire Childhood History Retconned.
An interesting development that came up when TRH dropped was the departure of Jeffrey Herdman from the team, most likely because he was heavily involved in the writing of its Renaissance-era spin-off The Royal Masquerade. He would return, by TRF (he is part of their finale livestream), but by then his pet favourite character was likely gone.
TRH has a different set of circumstances, and different power dynamics. The MC is settled into marriage and trying for a child, the LIs are working in the council, Olivia is upgraded to cosplaying spymaster and the side characters go on with their lives. The first book of TRH seemed to do a surface-level recognition of some of the complaints certain readers had in previous books, but their favourites and the people who wouldn't get much attention or appreciation, remained the same.
TRH1 was a time when the writers praised Hana and claimed in a livestream that she was the kind of LI they would love to marry, but also where they gave her a condition that (inaccurately) made her unable to safely carry children (just for the MC to be the mother of the heir) and forced her to be immediately okay with that fate. As the sequel series progressed over the course of 4 books, the erasure of all that Hana was in the past was subtle and insidious - the narrative often compared her to Olivia and found her lesser, she was never allowed to even mention her home place China and worst of all - the writing completely retconned the emotional abuse she suffered at home by claiming it emerged from loving protection, from wanting to keep their daughter away from a cult. And even though Hana's discovery of her sexuality was described by Kara as a "journey that she's still on", no attempts were ever made to show her exploring what she likes romantically, or to show her dating. We don't know if she's involved with anyone, we don't know where she lives, we learn very little of her interests beyond what benefits the MC at any given moment, and the narrative never fails to remind us that they like Olivia more than they like her. Hell, they still encourage Olivia to keep insulting and degrading Hana! Hardly the behaviour of writers who love a character so much they would marry them irl, honestly.
On the other hand, Madeleine wasn't very prominent in TRH1, but gained notoriety in the next two books. The first book has her occasionally engage in inappropriate, invasive badgering of the MC to get pregnant quickly, and she continues to pretend that her doing whatever she likes without ever consulting the person in charge is professional behaviour (eg. Setting up the presscon about the MC's pregnancy announcement. She never even considers whether the MC would be comfortable announcing this pregnancy or not at this time). She gets to deliver a small bit of foreshadowing in the second half of the book (an early hint about Queen Eleanor's pregnancy, though Madeleine's awareness of it hardly makes sense when you look at the entire TRH series, and it never comes up as a point again). Her father being exposed as the traitor who poisoned the former queen builds up to a storyline that benefits her the most in the long run.
Hana is given one chapter where she can call Madeleine out on her entitlement (Savannah's bachelorette). She doesn't insult or berate Madeleine in TRH1 Ch 7, but is refreshingly no-nonsense and will not put up with Madeleine's constant whining about an event she had invited herself to. It's a small, cold comfort, since Hana's actions here are tied to making Savannah's bachelorette a success rather than for herself - but it's still gratifying to see Hana in a position where she can call people out without having to worry about the repercussions. Especially when the narrative disrespects Hana in so, so many other ways for the rest of the series.
In the same chapter, the ladies of the court are given an opportunity to talk about their love lives. Of the four, two women can speak about the people they like (Penelope about Ezekiel by default, and Olivia about Liam if you choose), and one only mentions him by name if the MC is married to someone else (Kiara, about Drake, if you choose to ask her over Madeleine). Madeleine doesn't mention anyone at all, insisting that marriage is something she will only consider for the benefit of her country or estate. This was a relief to players who feared that PB might attempt to push the possibility of romance between Madeleine and Hana again.
Though Madeleine doesn't get the romance that PB so desperately wanted to gift her in the last series, and she isn't given any further romances...the narrative clearly wasn't done pandering to her, even though Jeffrey was not officially a part of the team.
Remember how in the previous essay, we explored the levels to which PB encouraged players to coddle Penelope? Entire chapters would be spent just making her feel comfortable and safe, in encouraging her to help us. No actual initiative or enthusiasm from her end, even if her actions caused the problem or there were lives and reputations at stake. No, Penelope's comfort and happiness should be front and center.
Now think of that treatment, but on steroids and lasting for two whole books. That's what Madeleine's story - starting from TRH2 - looks like.
TRH1 ends with the reveal that Madeleine's father, Godfrey, was involved in the assassination of Liam's mother Eleanor. So a certain amount of narrative focus on Madeleine was expected, perhaps. But the second book doesn't stop at just that.
We are not merely asked to be kind to Madeleine. No, kindness towards Madeleine is expected of us. The warning issued in TRH2 Ch 4 promises "consequences", which means we know straight off the bat that we will be punished if we're not nice enough. It insists we take note of her "fragile state", and give her the mercy and compassion she had never given to anyone in her court.
To give Madeleine the smallest of credits, she acknowledges this just two chapters prior to the oath ("in the past, our positions were once reversed and I was...unkind to you. I had no reason to expect any kindness from you..."). However, this admission does sound disingenuous in the face of the narrative's implicit demand that we treat her nicely. Because if she did recognise her own past behaviour in TRR2 esp as hurtful, and herself as not exactly deserving of kindness, then it makes no sense for her to judge people for behaving exactly as she expected. A genuine redemption arc would have been one where she understood no one owed her kindness after what she'd done, and still determinedly forged ahead to do good for her country. After all, the narrative wanted us so badly to believe this woman was patriotic, right? If her "patriotic spirit" was so tied to her ego that you needed to pamper and praise her every five minutes, just for her to not support such an obviously-foolish tyrant as Bartie Sr, then it can't have been as strong as canon so vehemently claimed.
TRH tracks our "treatment" of Madeleine over 2 books and 10 distinct scenes. Of these, 6 scenes allow us to choose between kind responses and unkind ones, 2 others require the player to choose one among multiple options of people, and 2 scenes are check-in dialogues rather than actual choices (which means that the player doesn't choose an option, they just find out through such scenes whether they are winning Madeleine's favour or not). I imagine that the first category is the most important, with the second being options that you don't necessarily need to choose Madeleine for if you want to go for one of the others, as long as you pressed enough "kind" options.
To elaborate, here's the breakdown:
Kind/Unkind Responses
- House Amaranth's pledge (TRH2 Ch 4). Notably, the "most hurtful" one doesn't even accuse her of anything - it just tells her that the family needs to earn back the Crown's trust. Compare that to Madeleine's accusations to Hana that she was trying to kill her and deserved to lose her position in court. You know, the cruel treatment that some Madeleine stans claimed "wasn't that bad".
- Carrying the Heir's train at Anointing Ball or not (Ch 5)
- Deciphering Madeleine's conversation with Godfrey on his boat (ie whether she is betraying or helping the MC) (Ch 6)
- Acknowledging Madeleine's help in capturing Godfrey, at the Gratitude Ball (Ch 7)
- Gently encouraging Madeleine into being Penelope's bridal attendant, rather than mocking her (TRH3 Ch 2). There is no longer any need to acknowledge Penelope's earlier fear of Madeleine - we are expected to forget entirely that she was the main reason why Penelope didn't want to return to court in TRR3.
- Trusting Madeleine to help with investigations at Fydelia (Ch 6)
Choosing Among Multiple People:
- Speaking about loyalty before making a pledge to the Heir. Other ladies of the house are also presented as choices (TRH 2 Ch 14)
- Babysitting the Heir during Fox Hunt. Other choices are Regina and Savannah (TRH3 Ch 10)
Relationship Check-in:
- The way Madeleine greets you at Fydelia (Warm Welcome/Cold Front) (TRH3 Ch 6)
- Whether Madeleine helps you escape with the Heir in Ch 13, or allows the child to get kidnapped by Godfrey in Ch 15 (Desparate Times/What Goes Around)
The ending of TRH3 has Madeleine either thriving and inheriting her mother's estate, or being merely fired from her job in Royal Communications (a better punishment would have been to strip the entire Amaranth family of their lands, but I digress). She is notably absent in TRF, possibly because she wasn't entirely very popular to start with and two whole books of coddling her didn't exactly help matters either. As one of the junior writers in the TRF team said, "some people exiled her so..."
The first few opportunities to win her over, notably emerge from attempts Madeleine makes to assure the Crown/MC of House Amaranth's loyalty, and you will find that even at an early stage she expects to be included in sensitive discussions that call for discretion, and to be constantly praised for her efforts. Let me give a reminder, again, that she hardly ever gave any praise to the women working for her, and in fact punished them just to keep them constantly in fear of her.
I know it sounds like I'm labouring too much on this point, but it's important to understand just how much effort the narrative had put into coddling this one woman. Chapters and chapters of branch coding, writing two routes, title cards, dialogues, rewards and consequences.
This is similar to the way the narrative encouraged kindness and sympathy towards Penelope, but it's now over a lengthier period of time and with more drastic consequences. We were required to coddle Penelope over a chapter each in three specific books, or be deprived of her support/help. We are required to constantly shower Madeleine with praise and sweet words over the course of 31 chapters, or she will help an unscrupulous Regent-Elect kidnap our child. She will even openly accept that the only reason she put a mere child through that, was because we weren't nice to her ("Wouldn't you have done the same to me? You've made it abundantly clear you see me as the enemy").
But if the MC deserved a punishment this cruel for just mocking Madeleine at every turn, then what punishments should Madeleine get for what she put her own ladies-in-waiting through? What should she get for planning to "break" one of her courtiers? A second broken engagement doesn't seem entirely enough by such parameters.
Then again - as I said before, the narrative deliberately shifted the goal posts for what a potential royal could and couldn't get away with, in the time between Madeleine's engagement tour and the MC's marriage, for this very reason. So that Madeleine would never have to face the kind of constant censure the MC and Liam would face regularly. Among characters in canon, or among largely biased stans in the fandom. Speaking of which...
Fandom
Madeleine's popularity has always been a mixed bag, ever since TRR2. By TRR2, there were people who loved her for what they thought were her craftiness and wiles, some who suspected her to be involved in the plot against the MC, and a number of Liam stans had reactions that ranged from stanning, to indifferent (after all, both Liam and Madeleine showed a mutual disinterest towards each other), to slightly jealous (after all, she was still his fiancรฉe).
But it was Madeleine's treatment of Hana in Ch 7 that definitely crossed a line for quite a few. It was so unwarranted, and her justification for this act so inarguably cruel, that it turned several people off her immediately. The way canon dealt with this was to make her feature less in the story until the memory of the "chocolate incident" was faded and almost forgotten, and then encourage fans to sympathize with her.
The gamble definitely worked, with plenty of help from hardcore Madeleine stans who often downplayed what happened to Hana ("a prank", "making Hana cry just once" were some of the terms used to describe it). By TRR3, I recall having to remind some of my mutuals what actually happened in this scene - their own recollections of it were that vague. The Hana and Madeleine ship would have died a far quicker death if more people remembered this incident as it was shown, and not as narrative wanted us to remember it (and also, if more people cared that it was Hana being hurt, rather than their fave white girl/boy).
Madeleine gained some popularity among the wlw crowd - a couple of them did have a soft spot for stoic, aggressive or women often labelled as "bitchy" (I know a few who also showed a similar amount of love for ACOR's Xanthe or BB's Priya, to be fair...but the adulation for the white female antagonists was a lot more), and Madeleine clearly fit that bill.
A point that often came up from Madeleine stans who were wlw (and reiterated with other mean-girl characters) was that grey-shaded and villanous male characters weren't subject to as much censure as their favourites were. While there is truth to such an argument, it fails to take into account the role race often plays in the way some "mean" women are loved and certain others are scorned. Madeleine clearly did not have the scale of hate that a Xanthe or even a Kiara (who isn't even on the same level) got. In fact when it suited them, many in the fandom were more than ready to view Madeleine as a victim when Liam broke his engagement with her.
Madeleine's "patriotism" - as I've now clearly established - was a retcon made to erase the worst aspects of her characterization. Sometimes it was used to make people feel sorry for her losses, other times it was made to cover up her actual behaviour in TRR2. But there were very few readers who didn't consider it an undeniable fact. Even among those who were indifferent towards her. For instance, in an anon ask that compared Madeleine and QB's Poppy, a poster responded that "the difference between the two was that Madeleine had a sense of duty, and Poppy was just petty". In TRH3, players who claimed that "we can all agree Madeleine is fully redeemed" when she worked with the MC to protect the child from Bartie Sr, stayed mysteriously silent when the other consequence (her helping in the child's kidnapping because she didn't like the MC's pettiness) showed up.
And while these responses could be attributed to the way canon gassed Madeleine up in TRR2 and 3, some of these players had no problem nitpicking the political savvy or work of certain other (CoC) characters, esp Liam (often bashing them for "throwing parties every day", even though the general populace was depicted as being happy with their rule and influence. Mind you, no prompting from PB was necessary to bash these characters). So why were these parameters never applied to Madeleine? Why was practically no one asking what the political relevance of her bullying (as future Queen) was, or why we were expected to sing her praises for poor time management or terrible work ethics towards her boss, or ask what work she actually did in canon as Royal Comms Director? (There is a reference or two to the position, but you aren't shown that many instances of her doing much work). For quite a few, the fact that she walked around with a job title in TRH was more than enough (somehow Kiara never got this kind of fandom treatment despite being part of the Diplomatic Liaisons department).
How does this adulation for such a heavily retconned character, affect the way the Hana and Madeleine ship was viewed? For one, it meant that readers bought into the retcons easily enough that Hana's pairing with her was seen as an extension of her "redemption arc" by some.
Take the example of the various posts that argue in favour of this pairing, or fic that features them as a couple - a lot of them center Madeleine: her pain, her history, her reasons, the correctness of giving her a reward. Hana is barely mentioned or given much attention in these arguments - and often when she has any sort of voice, it is only there to humanize Madeleine. Supporters of this pair often took stances that were either ready to throw Hana under the bus, act like she hardly mattered, or treat her like some sort of blank slate to scribble their adulation for Madeleine over.
Hana is often viewed as less worthy of a focus - she is often the benevolent saint who forgives Madeleine because she "worked so hard to be better". Often it never matters to get into detail why Hana thought Madeleine earned her forgiveness, what Hana's perspective was, what journey she went through to get such a point. Because if Hana's journey really mattered in such a ship, the most pressing questions would revolve around why Hana should ever trust a person who wanted to break her in the first place. Why she should feel safe around such a person. Why her own friend group wouldn't want to protect her from such a person.
Some readers would bring up their parallels as daughters brought up in families that didn't value them, but neglect to take into account the nuances of those dynamics (Madeleine's mother at least wanted to be supportive, and no matter how bad things got, Madeleine was never in danger of being disowned. Hana was, repeatedly). Nor is it fully honest about how Madeleine was comfortable being a perpetrator of abuse, in contrast to Hana's own deep discomfort with the idea of controlling her partner.
In certain cases, I can maybe see this attitude in fandom emerging from an acceptance of the narrative's retcons as truth. But I also think there were as many readers who were just inclined to liking the mean white girl, and finding justifications and excuses for her behaviour.
Fandom's attitudes towards Hana herself often played a small role in how Hana's end of this story was ignored too. When TRR3 fucked up her arc phenomenally (by rushing her parents' turnaround from disowning her to supporting her in Ch 15), it became popular to view Hana as a lesser character, and the "meaner" white women as better. People who wanted other options for female LI often took their frustrations out on her, calling her "weak", servile and submissive, dismissing her honest accounts of the treatment she faced even from her own parents as "whining". If that was the way people preferred to view her emotionally abusive childhood...then what can one expect from such a fandom when she was being outright bullied?
Fandom was already comfortable with the idea of erasing Hana in their content, or replacing her with either their fave white girl (or an equally white OC esp in their fanfic - but more on that in a future Hana essay). So neglecting to center her in what would have been her only canonical alternative romance wouldn't be too difficult for some people.
Which merits the question...is there a way to write about (or write fic for) such a pairing, in a way that centers Hana, respects her story, makes it clear that she has the right to never forgive Madeleine no matter what she does to "earn" it - if that was what she wanted? I highly doubt it. You'd have to completely change Madeleine for that to happen, and that would more likely result in a situation where you were too busy working on her as a character, to give Hana the attention and focus she deserved.
And that's a real pity, because there's plenty to explore about Hana if you actually take the effort to look.
Conclusion
In a lot of ways, once the team had decided upon making Madeleine into a more positive character, they tried to draw a little from Olivia's arc to replicate its success. You can see some of these parallels in the way TRR2 structured the bachelorette as a semi-callback to the childhood- reveal-mocking-Savannah sequences in TRR1 Ch 7. Both chapters gave you reasons to start seeing these women in a different light, while still feeling free to dislike them. In both chapters they also targeted LIs - the only difference was that Drake's diamond scene post that confrontation centered him, and Hana's parallel diamond scene a book later...centered everyone else.
That attempt in TRR2 didn't work for several reasons - the timing wasn't right, Madeleine's cruelty had gone too far for some, the retconning hoodwinked quite a few people but not enough.
So when they tried to pair her up with the victim of her bullying, and twisted canon to make it happen - enough readers emerged to call it out, enough people pushed back by Ch 16, and the possibility of this alternative pairing garnered enough dislike that not only did the writers have to backtrack, but they also had to wipe away their past retcons and write in a scene where Madeleine gave Hana the full, unvarnished truth about the "chocolate incident". Hana was, thankfully, given a chance to give Madeleine her most polite "no".
And although that ship would never be brought up again, the team (even without Madeleine's top writer Jeffrey) still attempted to make pampering and uncritically praising her a narrative priority. She gained a bit more popularity during this time period - quite a few were inclined to feel sorry for her (especially considering the way her father's crimes affected her social standing) and saw only what happened if you were consistently nice to her.
But there was also a significant section of people who were tired of the constant coddling, and who didn't like that it was demanded of the player (when there were far more deserving WOC in the same book, who didn't get this level of kindness). It was significant enough that Madeleine wasn't given any scenes in the final book, and the writers cited her lack of popularity as a reason why.
As a Hana fan myself, it was a relief to see Hana not be paired up with her bully. But it was also immensely disheartening for me to see that "ship" get as far as it did, and to see the narrative do so much more work for Madeleine, than they did for Hana even in the follow up series. It was even more disheartening to see so many in fandom follow suit.
--
By now, we have explored 3 out of the 4 alternative pairings that TRR put forward for the LIs. They all vary in terms of buildup, attention, and payoff. But there are several things that are common about them. They all have either significant histories with the LI, or the narrative thinks they share something in common. The moment an "alternative" option ends up harming the MC, they are no longer suitable as an option because of the LI's loyalty towards her.
But perhaps the most common factor among the three women we have explored so far is how the LI is expected to treat the alternate, no matter how jealous the MC is allowed to get, no matter what the alternate themselves may have done in the past. The alternate is supposed to be treated well. With respect, with kindness, with compassion.
Betrayal doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Bad behaviour doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Disregarding consent doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Classism doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Not loving them back doesn't allow it either. Not even extreme levels of bullying...allows an LI to disrespect them.
In the next essay, we will see if any of these rules apply to our last alternative LI - Kiara.
Next: Drake and Kiara.
#essay series: trr's alternative lis#the royal romance#the royal heir#the royal finale#hana lee#madeleine amaranth#trr meta
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I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!
(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)
Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):
So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.
Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.
The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Timesโข๏ธ. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.
But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.
One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.
Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.
Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.
Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.
I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. โก
And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. โ๏ธ
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Jo's dynamics with other characters are all usually fun and engaging due to her being such an entertaining and adaptable character herself; but they can honestly be so much more interesting if people explored them a bit more?
For example, take Jo and Lightning. They have a hilarious dynamic with Jo having to deal with Lightning's stupidity and learning to manipulate his self-centeredness to her advantage. Except one thing I don't see explored enough is their similarities??
They're both overconfident athletes who are willing to do bad shit in order to win. It makes me think that Jo mightโve had a similar upbringing to him where she had to deal with the pressure of winning? Like, a cut-throat attitude doesn't just develop out of nowhere. Except whilst I think Lightning's ego developed from being constantly praised (and eventually pressured with having to live up to others' expectations), Jo mightโve been constantly belittled and underestimated (for yknow, being a girl) and she would've had to work hard to achieve recognition from others. Episode 6 pretty much confirms that she uses a false bravado and anger to cover up feelings of insecurity. I just think their possibly similar yet different upbringings and perspectives would be cool to explore.
Jo and Zoey is one of my favourite duos! They definitely should've become friends; I think they would've been a fun dynamic, and gen 2 could've used a proper female friendship. I think them both having the "Not like other girls" aspect is quite interesting?? As well as them both initially lacking actual friendships (with Zoey's lonely childhood, and Jo's... Just Jo) which is. Pretty common amongst the gen 2 girls. Huh
Zoey could've been a MUCH more interesting character (I always just use the cool epic version of her I have inside my head). Let her be weirdddd or let her be super basic and intentionally pose as "indie" to seem cool and different. Maybe she looks down on other "basic" girls to cover up how she feels insecure around them for being weird and having unconventional interests herself idk. I think the dynamic of both Zoey and Jo hating on pretty, popular girls and overcoming that is super neat. Especially since they're both something that the other hates; Zoey is a typically feminine girl and Jo is a jockette. Let them become friends and be like "okay well you aren't so bad" and then eventually stop judging other girls for being "feminine" or "basic" pleaseeeee it'd be so good. Even better: let ALL the revenge girls be friends. I just want them to be happy OKAY? Okay.
Finally, Jo and Cameron! Another duo I'm fond of. Awesome brains/brawns combination, and the whole arc of Cam standing up to her and Jo respecting him for it is absolutely peak. Jo's elimination in roti was pretty much perfect, but I also think she could've worked well in the finale. Her being a combination of brains and brawns would have encouraged Cameron to use both, which would be a neat callback to Jo's earlier line of needing to get physical in TD. (Still think she should've rooted for Cameron over the guy who insisted that she was a dude for most of the season but whatever)
I haven't really seen this take on their dynamic, but the whole thing of Cameron's development being stunted from the over-protective environment of his upbringing and Jo being toughened by the harsh environment of hers adds a fascinating layer to their relationship. Whereas Cameron was prevented from being able to properly grow up and experience things like normal teens, Jo grew up way too soon and put more focus into winning than making positive relationships and allowing herself to just be a teenage girl (I personally believe Jo got the """tough love""" treatment). Idk I just think this would be cool to delve into and see how their opposite childhoods impacted them and their core values when interacting with each other
Cameron clearly saw her as both a role model and an opponent, which is a really fun dynamic! She was a bully, yeah, but she also presented herself as someone who was always in control and knew what she was doing, so it's understandable that Cam looked up to her. She was pretty much the opposite of overprotective too, which is probably what drew Cam to her since she didn't coddle him (and instead made fun of him LMAO). And of course, Jo learned to not underestimate the tiny nerds and gave her respect in the end. Super fun and intriguing duo, and probably the only td pair I would actually compare to siblings.
So yeah basically I think we should start looking into TD relationship dynamics more because they're awesome and filled with potential. Especially Jo's because she is the best ever and if you think otherwise then you're wrong
Also have a gold star if you just read through all of that โญ๏ธ great work soldier
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Barney Barton META: Childhood
This isn't exactly the META, more like a big note with my thoughts about Barney's personality during his childhood. Given that Clint's past, and Barney's past as well, is changed too often in the comics and it's confusing to understand what's going on, I'm going to take the bits that I think are important and squeeze it together. Because if I wanted to put everything in order logically, it would be impossible - his agenda changes too often.
I'll only talk about their lives before their parents' deaths and their first years in the circus. Barney's personality changes dramatically as he gets older and I don't want to write too much in one post.
Dedicated to @carcrash429 and @hawkzeyes. I love you <3
TW: Mentions of child abuse, violence, underage drinking
1. What kind of child was Barney?
The first thing worth noting is that despite the constant changes in Barney's personality, the authors always try to emphasize his role in Clint's story โ as one who is "the worse brother," the "rotten" one who causes problems and is a schemer. The bad brother who is the opposite of the good brother. Two sides of the same coin โ you know the deal.
Honestly, only Hawkeye Vol.3 showed Barney in some way as "morally better" than his brother. Everywhere else, it's emphasized that he's the worse version of Clint. You know the deal, Clint is the good-shoe guy, and Barney is the worst thing that ever existed. But why?
As we know, childhood plays a crucial role in shaping a person. To truly understand Barney, we need to delve into his early years and explore what kind of child he was. So let's start it, shall we?
- VIOLENT
A recurring trope we see in Clint's childhood memories is Barney teaching him something. I'll mention about this later in the post, but for now, let's focus on the most significant skill he taught Clint, which reveals a lot about Barney himself: he taught Clint how to fight.
(Hawkeye 2012 #12)
Not the self-defense way where you hit someone and run away. Not the stereotypical superhero kind where you fight to defeat someone because you're the good guy and they're the bad guy. No, Barney taught him how to fight in a way that would hurt, how to knock someone down so that they wouldn't be able to stand on their feet anymore.
(Hawkeye 2012 #15 & #21) [rip photo limit]
If someone attacks you, you show no mercy. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. Beat them so they won't want to hurt you anymore.
(Hawkeye 2012 #19)
If thereโs no one to defend you, you have to defend yourself. Barney started teaching Clint how to fight after Clint attempted to attack their father. Itโs clear that Barney is the reason why his brother even knows how to hurt people. However, it was never explained why Bernard knows how to fight or where he learned this skill. And that's understandable; this flashback is about our golden boy, not about his problematic brother.
To understand why Barney might know how to fight, we need to explore his relationship with violence as a child.
He is an example of how trauma can make you angryโat what happened and what continues to happen. As a child still living with his parents, Barney is filled with hatred towards their father. This contrasts with Clint, who, for a long time, was the "good child" trying his best to earn his father's affection and better treatment.
(Solo Avengers 1988 #2)
Bernard was a "smart-mouth brat" who didnโt hesitate to speak back, even though he knew the consequences of doing so. Even better, this little guy wanted to beat his dad up so badly. Clint would never consider acting this way (until the events of Hawkeye Vol. 4, but I'll discuss that later). And it also seems that this wasnโt the first time Barney had behaved like this.
I have a theory that Barney likely had conflicts with other adults as well, mostly because of his statement in Solo Avengers 1988 #2 panel, where he says, "I'll show them all." This implies that he probably didn't want to take revenge against JUST his father. The way I interpret it is that his father wasn't the only person who treated him badly. We can interpret this in different ways: maybe he was talking about his bullies, maybe teachers or anybody who ever treated him badly. Who knows?
Avengers: Roll Call highlights how different their approach to their father was. Barney is explicitly described as being cynical and resentful as a child. In fact, he is described as a bitter kidwho took of his frustation on Clint by bullying him.
And his different approach to Harold is visible. Barney he has never been shown to say anything positive about their father. True, Clint also hated Harold, but as shown earlier, Clint for some time hoped he'd change, whereas Barney never believed in it. He always saw their father as a scumbag.
(Hawkeye: Blindspot #1)
His hatred for his father and how he was treated, naturally influenced his behavior in childhood, which you could see before. And we know he wasn't a "good boy" in any ways. Like for example, in Blindspot, Clint mentions that Barney was never the smarter of the two and believed that sometimes you need to fight dirty.
This panel illustrates that Bernard believed that the best way to resolve conflicts wasn't through calm, peaceful ways but by fighting dirty. It paints him as someone who often relied more on brute force. Because, in his eyes, it is an easier and more proven way to deal with problems. He saw it from his father and most likely from others that it was the best way; it always worked on him and Clint after all.ย
Barney is depicted as a child who has no problem with being aggressive or violent, as shown in Hawkeye (2012) even towards his brother. Yes, while his intent was to provoke Clint, stir him up, and push him to act, the fact remains that Barney still resorted to violence.
Additionally, Barney used violence against Clint because he knew that this was the most effective way to provoke a reaction from him. By mimicking their father, he wanted to trigger Clint's deep-seated rage and bitternessโemotions that were already boiling beneath the surface.
Barney knew that Clint, fueled by anger and resentment towards their father at this moment, would respond to this. Itโs likely that Barney didnโt spend much time thinking what he should do; he simply resorted to the method he knew best.
Despite his hatred for his father, he still copy him in some ways, and this behavior pattern stayed with him. Barney struggles to express his emotions or wants verbally, something that continues into his adult life. He rarely communicates his thoughts directly, instead, his feelings are often showed through his actions. This tendency is mostly evident in how he expresses his anger, which is often in violence.
He never fully learned healthier ways. While joining the army may have helped him develop some emotional control, his involvement in the Trickshot "business" clearly ruined it lmao.
Before I expand further on Barney's ability to fight, I want to finish the subject about their father (because I started it and I want to finish it. I know it makes this post very chaotic, but I can't help it).
-AFRAID
In Hawkeye (2012) there is a noticeable shift in the Bartons brothers. Barney becomes more calm, while Clint got increasingly bitter. Itโs almost as if theyโve swapped their attitudes.
This is particularly evident in a scene where Clint attacks their father.
Initially, I thought Clint was solely focused on his father during this scene. However, it wasnโt until I noticed Barneyโs eyesโfixed on Clintโthat I realized he was also looking at him. He would first glance at Barney and then shift his focus to their father. Remember this, because it will be important later.
So let's focus on Barney in this moment (because this is a post about him, duh). Specifically when he says "Clint."
While we might interpret this as a warning to prevent Clint from doing something stupid, because Barney might have known it would upset him and make him do something reckless. But based on Barney's reaction afterwards, you can get the impression that it was the first time when Clint did something like that.
At that moment during dinner, Barney probably shouldnโt have know that Clint would react this way. So this "Clint" warning doesn't make any sense. Given that Clint was known to be a well-behaved child and Barney was his polar opposite, we have to look elsewhere for an explanation. And I'll rush you with my theory.
Since we know from All-New-Hawkeye, Barney was the one who always stood up for his brother (for example: Barney took the blame when they were suppose to work, but they sneaked in to see a perfomance)-
-then Clint might have been looking at Barney, hoping he would speak up against their father. Since he has been "obedient" so far, itโs reasonable to think that Barney might have developed a habit of standing up for him. After all, Barney didn't care about their father's opinions and hated his guts, so he could also speak on Clint's behalf just to piss their father off.
But when Clint realized that Barney had no intention of that, he reacted himself, which, as I mentioned earlier, was something he had never done before.
That's why I think the "Clint" could be interpreted as "Clint, not this time." Especially since Barney appears resigned to me.
Now you might be wondering: Why didn't Barney react? Why did Barney change his attitude? The answer is simple! This whole situation happened after Clint lost his hearing.
Let's take a closer look at this: Barney in Hawkeye (2012) is much calmer than in earlier comics showing him as a child. Here, we see that he's trying to take care of his brother (like when he came to Clint's room after the whole incident and brought an ice pack for the bruises). I think he stopped being so "rebellious" at home to not upset their father. Probably out of fear; if their father was capable to beat Clint so badly that he lost his hearing, what else might he be capable of?
So it's only logical for Barney to temper his normal behavior.
-A Troublemaker
Let's return to the topic of fighting: We can see that he learned how to fight so he could defend himself from his father. And due to his previously mentioned behavior, we can get the impression that he engaged in fights very often as a child.
He must have learned these skills from somewhere, so itโs clear he picked them up outside the home.
How did he learn? Who did he learn from? I don't know! It was never shown or mentioned where he learned all this, but I have theories.
Personally, I think Barney got himself in the wrong crowd during his childhood. Why?
Barney's main 'thing' in the comics is that he was in his brother's shadow and wanted to outshine him. And seriously, this is one of the main reasons why Barney hated his brother when he was in Dark Avengers lol. I honestly believe that their parents, especially after Clint lost his hearing, focused more on the good behaved younger brother, which may have led Barney to seek attention elsewhere. As a troublemaker, Barney likely engaged in stupid and dangerous behavior to gain the approval of othersโbehavior that fits his character trope. And I'm talking about drinking alcohol and stealing candy from the store.
Barney was shown twice drinking alcohol without flinching. While itโs possible he started drinking occasionally because their father did the same, I believe itโs likely that he also picked up this habit from other kids.
Adult Barney in the comics is portrayed as a charismatic guy with notable leadership skills. That's why I think that he definitely had a lot of childhood friends and wasn't a loner. However, he probably was not as popular as he wanted and due to his difficult personality (his bad temper), he certainly did not have stable friendships. This means thereโs a good chance Barney fell in with the wrong crowd and because out of desperation to be liked, he would definitely do stupid things.
This kid was good with people. He was a fast-talker and had the ability to easily persuade people. Like, he successfully convinced Carson to take in two orphans from an orphanage. C'mon, he clearly had skills.
Barney is a manipulative bastard, who had a natural knack for playing people like a fiddle. I don't think I need to provide much evidence for that; after all he was in the mafia and held a high position there as an undercover FBI agent. That says it all.
The beginnings of his manipulating and persuading tactics began in childhood. We see in that infamous panel how he used his brother to do his chores. Of course, Clint started it on his own, hoping it would prompt Barney to stop being such an asshole. But you can bet that Barney did everything in his power to ensure Clint continued to do his chores. You can see it in his smirk.
(Solo Avengers 1988 #2)
From Avengers: Roll Call, we also know that Barney was bored and unloaded his anger on Clint by bullying him. Does this make Barney a villain evil brother? No. Based on other Clint's memories, he wasn't abusive, he was simply an asshole. And Clint, desperate for any form of affection, ended up in a this mix with Barney. It's a recipe for disaster.
Another intriguing detail worth mentioning is that Barney clearly had a thing or two on his conscience. We can see from the interaction between him and Jacques when the old man tried to persuade him into stealing.
"But you, you're a scrapper, Barney. Something tells me you know what it takes to survive"
So we know he wasn't an innocent child then. And Jacques was aware of this and knew that Barney would not refuse such offer. Of course, it can be said that he knew survival techniques from the orphanage, since as we know, the life in there was not sunshine and rainbows. But as we know from their life, their hardest lessons in survival came from their father. For years, Barney has learned how to play dirty to survive, even more than Clint. As Barney himself reflected in Hawkeye: Blindspot, he was the "Tricky One."
Did he steal before? Possible. Maybe he stole things in the orphanage. Or maybe candies from the store like I said before. No matter what, we know that he wasn't a good child.
-ENVIOUS
Since weโre discussing Barneyโs involvement with stealing for circus, itโs worth noting that his agreement was fueled by jealousy. Because Clint got more attention and could do something better than him. This jealousy was never about wanting to be a performer/archer himselfโcontrary to what some people in fandom might think, Barney never showed any desire to be a circus attraction like his brother. In fact, when Swordsman offered them the chance to be his assistants, Bernard immediately refused.
He was simply envious of the attention Clint received and didnโt care about the circus itself. This jealousy made him more willing to engage in theftsโhe was driven by a desire to be better than his brother in something. And well, being a tricky was one of the few things Barney excelled at.
2. What kind of brother was Barney?
-A TEACHER
The fact that Barney took care of his brother is already known from the post. He taught him everything from silly things like tossing a coin into a bottle, to more practical skills such as driving a car (possibly even a motorcycle) and how to talk with women. This shows that Barney genuinely cared for Clint and didn't want him to be a loser in life. Which makes sense since Bernard was in some way his caretaker after their parents deaths.
-A PROTECTOR
But more of him being "a caring big brother" was shown in All-New Hawkeye. While I don't like Hawkeye All-New, I do appreciate how it delves into Clint and Barneyโs past.
Barney is the one who goes to their foster father and took the blame, because he did not want this bastard to hurt Clint.
He was also the one who offered to earn money for Clint so his brother could focus on learning archery instead and wouldn't be kicked out of the circus.
He repeatedly shouldered every responsibility and tried to protect him.
As previously mentioned, when Barney first got involved in "work" for Carson, his initial motivation was jealousy of the attention Clint was receiving and a desire to prove his own worth. However, as time went on, Barney became less enthusiastic about the thefts but felt compelled to continue. He knew that stopping could lead to them being throwed out from the circusโthe only place where they could call a "home". And despite everything, he was determined not to drag Clint into this mess too.
In Hawkeye Vol. 3, itโs noted that Barney encouraged Clint to pursue his education ever since they escaped from the orphanage. I interpret this as Barney recognizing that life in the circus was neither secure nor ideal. He was not emotionally attached to this place, viewing it merely as a temporary situation. Barney wanted Clint to have more opportunities beyond the circus, which contrasted sharply with his brother belief that the future was bound there.
(Thatโs why I dislike the trope in fanfics where Barney is portrayed as someone who would let Clint to die because of circus. NO. While joining the circus was initially Barneyโs idea, they stayed because it was their only option at the time. Barney would always choose his brother over the circus. He only left because he was fed up with living that way and saw no way to get Clint out, since Clint was too stubborn.)
Whatโs interesting to me is that Barney seems to have stopped stealing for the circus once he became an adult, considering their conversation after Clint was offered the chance to join to the "business".
(I KNOW that this comic was made before All-New Hawkeye and thatโs why Barney reacted this way. BUT Iโll interpret it however I want, and there's nothing you can do about it.)
I donโt know why Barney stopped, but perhaps when he became an adult, he was able to take on more demanding jobs in the circus and no longer had to steal to pay for their upkeep (plus, Clint started performing and earning money). And as we can see, Barney doesnโt want Clint to steal. Even though Barney had do the same thing as a child to keep them in the circus, he didn't want Clint to fall into that same trap.
-A CARETAKER
FINALLY, Iโd like to shift the focus to Barneyโs role as a caretaker for his brother, particularly during their childhood, even before they ended up in the orphanage and Barney had to fully assume the role of guardian. Specifically, I want to delve into Barneyโs responsibilities a caretaker when Clint lost his hearing.
I donโt have comic panels to back up my words because the comics donโt delve deeply into Clintโs past as a deaf child. However, Iโll draw on real-life knowledge to support my points. Although Iโm not a sibling of a deaf person, but I have deaf friends and have read a lot of psychological studies to better write the dynamics of Clint in his family lol.
Sometimes a hearing sibling, often under parental influence, takes on the roles of caregiver, rehabilitator, or translator for their deaf sibling. They're often actively involved in therapeutic processes, taking on numerous responsibilities related to helping their deaf sibling in their everyday life.
Why do I believe Barney had such a role? The answer is simple: Barney knows ASL since he was a child.
I know it doesn't immediately meant that he had this kind of resposibility. But hear me out. We donโt know if their parents learned ASL and how Clint learned it, but one thing is certain: Barney learned it with him. Depending on how we imagine the situation, Barney could have acted as a communicator between Clint and their parents, as well as with the outside world. I've read about cases where deaf kids learn sign language, and hearing siblings often pick up the language better than their parents. This often leads to the siblings acting as translators between parents and deaf child.
Another evidence is that he was also present during Clint's visit to the doctor.
Barney probably really wanted to be present during this, but why did his parents let him? I find this strange. Maybe they just expected Barney to help take care of his brother?
This certainly made Clint more dependent on his brother.
Clint clearly was dependent on him, since he always consistently influenced Clint's life decisions. Why did Clint run away from the orphanage? Because it was Barney's idea. Why did Clint join the circus? Because it was Barney's idea. Why didn't Clint leave the circus when he discovered its true nature? Because Barney said it was the only way they would survive.
Why did Clint later want to leave the circus despite his reluctance? Because Barney wanted to leave.
As Barney put it in All-New Hawkeye, "Where I go, Clint goes." Clint's life revolved around his older brother for many years. Mainly because after their parents' death, he only had Barney. But even before that, we can feel that Barney had a significant role in his life.
For instance, we see this during the moment they received the news of their parents' passing.
Barney only needed a few seconds to comprehend what happened before he immediately focused his attention on Clint, ignoring his own feelings at the moment. Maybe he wasn't fully aware at the time, but he felt from that moment on he would have to take care of Clint completely.
We need to be aware that Barney wasn't an ideal brother for such a role. He was full of anger, bitterness and of his own problems that he couldn't fully address due to their situation. He was just a kid himself. Barney was thrust into the role of a parent and teacher when he himself needed a parent and teacher. His attempt at "raising" Clint was a series of trial and error because he had no idea what he was doing.
But despite being a troubled child, Barney did a good job taking care of Clint, at least considering what Clint says about him in Blindspot.
I know many fans are angry at Barney for leaving Clint, but I see it as a moment when he finally did something for himself. He accepted that Clint was mature enough to decide for himself. Besides, him leaving Clint's life was good for Clint because if he had stayed, his brother probably would have never left Carson (or he would have joined the military with him) and never found himself. Clint relied on his brother for so long and he needed to be on his own for a while to find his place in the world.
3. The summary
Barney was hot-headed, extremely bitter, and was the most angry kid ever. But he also adapted well to the situation imposed on him and tried to help Clint adapt as well. We know anger often stems from fear, and to me, Barney is a scared child who doesn't know what to do but still wanted to do something.
And that's all I wanted to write about his childhood. Was Barney an angel? No. Was he the worst brother in the world? Also no. Does he need therapy? Absolutely.
#barney barton#clint barton#hawkeye#marvel#meta#my posts#I have been making this post since September and fought with the English dictionary to make it sounds good lol#i hate it#started making it. had a breakdown. bon appetit#i'm so nervous to publish this
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Can people stop saying Elriels are changing Elain & Azriel's personalities to make their ship work?
First of all, SJM wrote a bonus chapter and 3 books of buildup in the background for Elriel already. We didn't just make up the fact that they're very into each other - SJM literally wrote that in the books.
We don't have to change anything about them. They are already attracted to each other and interested in each other in the text at this point.
Could we sit here and argue that Azriel sitting in the garden with Elain, Azriel sensing she's missing and in danger when the Cauldron kidnaps her, Elain looking to Azriel for comfort, Elain getting him solstice gifts, Azriel wanting to beg on his knees for a taste of her, Azriel giving her truth teller, Elain kicking the hounds off him, Azriel making everyone wait for her to eat dinner - We can sit here and argue and say those things are "strictly platonic" or "he's an incel who only lusts after her" (not sure how both can be true but okay). We can do that - but it won't change the fact that it is ON THE PAGE. THEIR MUTUAL ATTRACTION is IN THE TEXT.
Cool? Cool.
Next Point: Nobody is changing shit about Elain or Azriel.
It's like the antis saw one post about "oh Elain could be a cool warrior" all the way back in like 2015 and have held onto that like that one grainy af Elucien Facebook comment that one account keeps posting as responses to elriel posts (y'all know who im talking about right ๐).
Allow me to give you a refresher: It is currently 2024. Nobody is trying to make Elain be a warrior. I think most Elriels are of the opinion that we do NOT want ACOSF 2.0.
What we do want to see, is Elain potentially as a spy. AGAIN - not a warrior. This is not changing her personality. She is already a Seer - it is not a stretch to want to see her delve into her powers in the next book to use them to SEE and gather information. Elain is ready to help, she literally says "Find me when you wish to begin."
If people are complaining about fan arts where she's holding a dagger - I'm like 99% positive that dagger is truthteller and you cannot be complaining about an actual canon scene where she has been the only other person to touch that knife in 500 years, apart from Azriel. Not even Mor, his one time love, has touched that knife.
And Elain holding truthteller is in the official ACOTAR coloring book - BTW. So if you have an issue with Elain being depicted with a dagger - take it up with SJM's team.
Let's talk Azriel:
Genuinely not sure what people are saying we are changing about Azriel to better fit Elain?
People bring up the "oh he's too dark for Elain she will shy away from him" um. No. It's literally in the text how Elain calls his scars beautiful and does not balk from him.
Also .. what darkness? I did an entire post on what the hell is Azriel's darkness even and still, nobody had an answer for me because ??
We can't be reducing this man down to a job he took very very reluctantly and clearly hates. He doesn't like torturing people for answers, guys!! Y'all make it sound like his love interest can only work if she's his literal torture assistant or something ๐ญ๐ญ
"Hi azriel, you have a 11 o'clock coming in for the usual water boarding treatment." <tucks hair behind ear and nods earnestly> "and then afterwards, I will wash the blood off your knife and accept your darkness?"
Is that what y'all want ๐คจ๐คจ don't be weird smh
Azriel says it feels wrong to touch Elain because HE FEELS UNDESERVING OF HER?? Have you never read a romance novel? The tortured hero being so reluctant to even touch his love because he's afraid his sins will taint her goodness??
Please people. Listen to like... a Hozier song before you try to understand this man because maybe then you might get a crash course on him. This man is so Hozier coded, it's insane to me that people think of him as some fuckboi incel.
Nobody is changing anything about Azriel and Elain. They are drawn to each other and understand each other without having to say a single word. Their love story is already starting out to be the healthiest: friends to lovers. They have been given a title: death & his lovely fawn.
Their very names mean Azriel "God is my help" or "Angel of Death" and Elain means "Light" or "Fawn" or "God has answered my prayers"
It's already on the pages and if you can't see the writing on the walls, perhaps it's time for a reread my friend.
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I prefer not to sound harsh, but Miraculous has become a fandom where I find more enjoyment in reading fanfics than watching the show. It feels like there's a lack of effort or an attempt to justify and rearrange elements, often ignoring past seasons and assuming the audience won't notice. The handling of Derision is a notable example, with more astute critics than me delving into their dissatisfaction and the evident retcons.
I didn't anticipate the show going to such lengths as portraying Gabriel as someone deserving of a statue, and it left a sour taste in my mouth to see the hero endorsing it. Adrien/ChatNoir's portrayal has become quite pitiful, with a peculiar shift where Ladybug takes on a significant role in the Agreste Saga despite her absence from that narrative. Ladybug, who isn't even part of the Agreste Saga, is the one delivering heartfelt moments. The decision to sideline Adrien and put him out of commission is disappointing. It's his story yet she the one who has to make it about her. She gets to shine along with a cool costume to boot.
There's a palpable bias from Astruc against Chloe, evident in the show's treatment of her character. Despite her being manipulated by Gabriel Agreste, the narrative blames her for becoming mayor, and the absurdity of the situation is magnified when everyone in the story goes along with it. The inclusion of a scene in Revolution where Chloe is crying is perplexing and frustrating, as it seems to perpetuate the negative and irredeemable image the show consistently paints of her. The added layer of her mother being horrid to her intensifies my annoyance, especially when sympathetic scenes are presented in a seemingly contradictory manner.
I mean you want her to be the worst but yet she has scenes like this? Why not go all the way wtf. Why give her depth only to take it away and then make her be so demonized in s5 and act like she was like this from the start. When she's been a joke
I hate to be critical, but seriously, it's hard to ignore how the Miraculous universe is just dripping with untapped potential. Five seasons in, and the movie outshines the show effortlessly. It makes you wonder about the writers' team and their approachโseems like they're just coasting on low effort for profit, and somehow, it's working, thanks to Miraculous inexplicable popularity.
The show's been beating the monster-of-the-week horse for five long seasons, lacking any creativity in crafting interesting villains. Gabriel, honestly, feels like a starter villain, and if they're going to make him the big bad, can we at least get some villains with a bit more pizzazz? You know craft creative interesting villains? KNDS, Original PPG, Totally Spies they got it so why not Miraculous. It's so damn tiring seeing the same old song and dance with Gabriel 24/7 monologuing to his wife and releasing the akuma I thought Mayura would be important but she's barely there.
It's not even an excuse kids do deserve better entertainment so why should Miraculous lower its standards. Marinette is very weird to me as the protagonist because her lovelife is more focused over everything I gauged her well enough to know about her that the rest of the secondary needs more of a spotlight to be cast on them. I like her but am I the only one who just skips when she starts the whining about Adrien and her plan to again get together it was cute at first now I fast forward to the more interesting part of the episode because it irks me i'm tired okay... what other facet of her character do the writers focus on besides her love life? I hope I don't appear to salt on her but Imma tag it just in case. I think she's in neutral treading to dislike because how can I come back from her gaslighting her boyfriends I'm sorry I can't.
You know what I'm afraid of that if Lila gonna be the next big bad they'll just recycle everything from Gabriel onto her. We'll have the same akumatizations same monster of the week formula only this time it's Lila.
I trust more in the fanfic community to come up with a better substantial plot than Miraculous could ever be. I know romance is a big part but the lore is so damn little it's season 5 are they ever going to expand more in the later seasons lol.
I'm tired from writing this long. Imma go to bed now.
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Hi
So first thank you for your artwork, but also cause you started me on ROTTMNT fandom and helped me find so many amazing artists, writers, AU's etc.
Your art is amazing and depictions of all the turtles and Casey seem so in character in the same time being perfectly indulgend fluff/angst mix.
Your posts about drawing and learning more about language actually motivated me to going back to drawing first time since middle school and not to pressure myself to much so thank you again!
But back to question(s) part if you don't mind answering:
- For how long have you been drawing (professionally and not)?
- Do you have anything similar to Ko-fi or is there any other way to support you?
- Do you do commissions? If yes how it works?
- Is there chance in the future for more F!Raph? Like him bonding with Casey (maybe him telling curious Casey about how they were when they were growing up and Casey disbelief of what Sensei Leonardo was like. Or classic Raph caring about their siblings and Casey trying to learn how he menages that). Idk anything, cause after you showed me possibility I'm F!Raph starved
If you know any great fanart/fanfiction with Future Raph I will also gladly hear about that!
Hope that wasn't too long, and again thanks for your work!
Thank you:3
- Unprofessionally, I've been drawing literally my whole life. I always enjoyed drawing and did it almost every day if I could. But I was a very bad student and didn't want to learn anything at all, so my drawings were pretty ugly.
I started actually studying constructively four years ago and two years ago I started working professionally.
- No. Don't have ko-fi or Patreon or anything. I don't know if it makes sense for me to start one, since I don't want to give any special treatment for the money. I want all the people to be able to get everything I do at all times. Like..equally. And if everything I do is available to everyone as it is, why would anyone pay for it?
- No, I don't do commissions. Maybe I should give it a try. Idk
- Well, I have something in my mind about Raph. I can't say in advance because I improvise 90 percent of this comic and usually the plot twists are sudden even for myself. But I definitely want to delve into Raph's character development and backstory
My favorite fanfic about Future Raph right now is "Raph (Waits) Alone by uncouth_peasant" I think this fandom is sorely lacking stories with him that delve a little more into his life than his death.
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So you want to write about horses.
(Part 3! Enjoy this post? Want to know more? Check out So You Want To Write About Horses Part 1 and So You Want To Write About Horses: Medieval Edition)
Maybe your character is a jockey, or a rancher, or a stablehand, or the ever popular cowboy in the wild west. Maybe they have a whole team and an Olympic dream. But what do people even do with horses? I can help.
First, some vital terms
The equipment that a horse wears is referred to as Tack. Tack can be minimal or incredibly complex. The part that goes on the horse's head when riding is the bridle, and the part that goes on the back for the person to sit on is the saddle.
^ Got that? Good, there will be a test at the end.
Now, What do people even do with horses?
To know the jobs around horses, you should know that the equestrian world is divided into very distinct and separate realms, and the further you delve into these realms, the more specific and specialized the horses, equipment, and terms become. Broadly, there is "pleasure" horses and "working" horses. Working horses are relied upon for physical labor to support their humans. Pleasure horses fall into more of a hobby for their humans.
There is also the Western riding style and the English riding style. The Western style descends from the Spanish saddle, and is used throughout the world, but most commonly in the Americas, where it is closely tied to herding cattle. The English style is a bit harder to clearly pin down the original influences, but has history in military uses throughout the European continent, and currently exists internationally. The English style is the style used at the Olympic games and in jumping competitions, whereas Western is not.
^ this is an example of a Western Style working horse. Western describes the style of equipment as well as the riding style. This horse is dressed for herding cattle, with a large comfortable saddle and simple rope bridle.
^ This is also a working horse, this time in the English riding style. Notice the saddle is much smaller, without a large 'horn' at the front of the saddle, and the bridle on the horse's head is much more complex. This horse is a Police horse.
^ and there are many combinations, variations, or lack ofs that exist. Some people have trained their horses to not need any tack, and need only the tiniest movements of their rider's body. Don't ask me how, I am not one of them.
Finally, Professions involving horses.
For ease of understanding, I will break this into segments that involve all horses, English horses, Western horses, and then the even more specific horses like racehorses, ect.
This edition will deal with professions involving All Horses.
Equine Veterinarians
Veterinarians that work with horses in rural areas are usually more generally large animal veterinarians, while equine vets, often attached to an equine hospital or clinic, have specific and in-depth knowledge of equine medicine, rather than equine and bovine medicine. Both large animal vets and equine vets administer vaccines, diagnostic tests, and certificates of health, as well as diagnosing and prescribing treatments of injuries and sicknesses. Vets also aid in breeding horses, caring for pregnant mares, birthing foals, and handling semen collection or injection for artificial insemination.
One of the most common reasons for a vet call is for the treatment of colic, any horse owner's nightmare. Horses have a massive system of intestines, and any change to a horse's diet, stress, or exercise, as well as many other causes, can lead to a backup of food or feces in the digestive system. Minor cases can resolve with pain treatment, but in severe cases surgery is required, and horses can die very quickly from what is essentially an extremely dangerous stomach ache. It is one of the most common causes of death for horses.
^ In very severe cases, parts of the intestine tie themselves into knots, lose blood flow, and die within the horse. I know many horses that have died from colic, and some that have survived.
Farriers
Farriers are pedicure specialists for horses. The hoof of a horse is simply a very large and thick fingernail, and a farrier is an expert in trimming, shaping, and even repairing that massive fingernail, as well as tacking on metal shoes to the bottom of a horse's foot. Farriers are also sometimes blacksmiths, and will create their own shoes, while others use premade shoes and nails.
^ (1)A farrier tacking on a shoe to a horse's hoof. (2) Shaping hooves with a rasp. Farrier treatments cause no pain to the horse when done correctly, and the specialized knowledge of which is why many farriers are expensive. Horses will need this redone every 4-8 weeks, depending on the horse and the environment. Even more than the vet, a good farrier is vital to the health and use of a horse, while a bad farrier can ruin a horse in less than the swing of a hammer.
(Side note: This is not a shoe, and no person putting that on a horse should be considered a farrier. I don't take many strong stances in informational posts, but this is one.)
Saddlers
These expert leather workers fit and shape the tack to the shape of the horse and the shape of the rider. Many serious riders have custom fitted tack, where a base saddle or bridle has been reworked after purchase to perfectly fit the riding pair in question. (I have one, it was expensive, and it continues to be worth it). Historically, tack has always been made with leather, which allows for stretch and molding of the tack, as well as decades of longevity, and still today, only the cheapest of tack is made with plastics. Saddlers often specialize in English or Western style tack, and many old brands are still known today for certain fits.
^ An expert Colorado saddler at work.
Trainers
Horses do not naturally trust humans, even after thousands of years of domestication, nor do they automatically know how to be ridden. Trainers are experts not only in their discipline, but also experts in horse behavior, communication (with humans and horses), basic first aid, common sense, and the rarest of all, the elusive 'horse sense'. Horse sense give a trainer the understanding of a horse's personality, and allows them to form a bond that not only teaches the horse to trust them, but to trust all humans. A trainer's job is to discover the horse's potential abilities, as well as the horse's fears, dislikes, and any pain or mis-training that could impede a horse's progress. Across the world, there are many style of training, many jobs that horses must be taught to preform, and a lot of misunderstandings. A good trainer can save the lives of horses and humans alike, a bad trainer can ruin both. The first steps of training a horse can be referred to as 'starting', 'breaking', 'training', 'backing', and many more.
Grooms
Grooms are the beauty professionals of the horse world, as well as the people getting everything done behind the scenes at high level barns or shows. In some places, grooms bring the horse in from the field or stall to be brushed, put the tack on the horse, warm the horse up, and then hand the horse over to the rider. In other places, grooms are a luxury as much as a butler for your horse. Grooms may also be responsible for managing the stables and tacking areas, keeping those areas clean through sweeping or removing mess, and potentially feeding, moving horses from pasture to stable, or whatever else needs to be done at a large stable. In other situations, the more grunt work will fall to part-time stablehands, while the grooms focus on working with the horses and riders.
^ Racehorse Groom Stephanie Searle grooms a racehorse.
Floaters/Equine Dentists
Horses are unique animals, with unique digestive systems, as has already been discussed, and with unique teeth. Due to horses' diets involving primarily hays, grasses, or grains, the teeth of a horse receive a great deal of wear from the tough nature of these foods. The wear patterns are so well documented that they have for thousands of years been used to tell the age of a horse with a great deal of accuracy.
Floaters are equine teeth experts, and receive their name from the practice of 'floating', or grinding sharp areas of horses' teeth down to prevent these sharp points from slicing into the horse's cheeks or stopping a horse from properly chewing.
^ Floating a horse's teeth. Also not painful, but like many people, horses tend to prefer being sedated for the dentist.
Professional Transport
In the modern age, as well as to a certain extent, the past, horses are constantly being moved, shown, sold, and shipped. Professional horse transport exists in the form of semi-trucks, ships, and planes, as well as trains. The transport of horses, usually very expensive and valuable horses, requires a team of professionals including veterinarians to ensure the horses' safety in transition.
^ Horses ready to go on a plane. Personally, a terrifying sight.
Alternative Treatments
Just like human medicine, horse medicine has a proliferation of supplements, alternative treatments, folk magic, and home treatments. Professional equine nutritionists work with feed companies as well as feed supplement companies (think herbal food additives as well as fish oil, ect.) to create supplement brands that claim to calm or energize horses, ease pain, prevent colic, or treat any number of issues. Horses may receive any number of visits from such varied services as equine massage therapists, equine physical therapists, equine chiropractors, equine spirit mediums, animal communicators, and so on. The scientific basis for these professionals ranges from well supported to lacking support, but such services remain popular regardless.
^ No matter what the profession with horses ends up being, just about everyone starts here: mucking out the stalls.
This post will end here, but keep an eye for the extended cut with the English and Western specific professions!
#writing horses#writing advice#how to write horses#basic horse writing advice#long post#writer advice#writeblr#writeblr community#writing tips#creative writing#writer stuff#basic horse things#so you want to write about horses#writers community#equine writing advice#writing equine professions#writing equestrians
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RWRB Appreciation Month Bingo: Side Character
For @rwrbsource and @rwrbmovie's RWRB Appreciation Month Bingo: Side Character
Side Character: Shaan
Author's Note: I really love Shaan as a character because you can tell he doesn't adhere strictly to royal protocol and does what he can to support Henry. This ficlet delves into one possible reason why.
"What's on the agenda today, Shaan?"
The equerry humored his charge and pulled up the schedule on his iPad. Ever since the Duke was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer, his schedule, usually packed with charity appearances or state functions, had been whittled down to chemotherapy treatments and time with his youngest son, Henry. His heart ached for the young royal. Shaan took up the position of the Duke's equerry after his predecessor died unexpectedly six years ago. Of his three children, he noticed that Arthur doted on his youngest the most. Phillip and Bea seemed more independent and extroverted, but Shaan observed how Henry struggled with royal expectations as he got older. As a result, the Duke took special care to encourage the young man's interests.
"Your regular nurse should be in soon for your treatment," Shaan read. "Your attorney will be at two o'clock to finalize your will, and Prince Henry said he would be here no later than five."
"I actually wanted to talk to you about Henry." Arthur gestured to the chair next to his bed. "Please have a seat."
Shaan took the offered seat, curious about where this conversation would take them. Arthur wasn't the typical royal. Perhaps that was because of his working-class background. As a fellow Welshman, he remembered feeling an odd sort of pride watching the former Bond actor marry the princess with his family back in the 80s. Their love story was a fairytale come to life. It was tragic to know that it would be cut short.
Once Shaan settled, Arthur gave him a brittle smile and said, "As my life comes rapidly to a close, I worry about my family, especially my youngest."
Shaan didn't rush to correct the man, which he knew was appreciated. The Duchess was still in deep denial. She spoke often with the nurses who came to administer treatments about his progress, her tone desperate for hope. While each of the children put on brave faces, Shaan could tell they saw the truth of the situation.
"What can I do?" Shaan asked. Shaan would do all he could if he could provide even a modicum of peace to this man.
Arthur shifted against the mass of pillows behind him. "I know that there are certain protocols when it comes to appointments. That being said, I am going to do my goddamned best to ensure you're Henry's equerry when it comes time for him to require one."
Shaan was stunned. It was overwhelming that Arthur valued him enough to entrust the care of his son to him. Setting his iPad aside, he stammered, "Sir, I...I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything," Arthur replied. "I've enjoyed working with you. You don't follow blindly; you have found ways to question tradition and protocol. My Henry will need someone like that in his corner."
Shaan looked down at his hands. Not for the first time, he thought how unfair it was that such a genuinely good man was about to be separated from his family. Collecting himself, he looked at the dying man and said, "I will do what I can on my end as well, sir. Your son will be in good hands."
Later that afternoon, the prince arrived with an armful of books and Arthur's favorite snacks. The Duke had little appetite most days but was more willing to eat when it wasn't a bland protein smoothie. The Prince gave Shaan a small smile and said, "Hello, Shaan. How is he today?"
"As good as can be expected, sir," Shaan replied. "How are you?"
Henry shrugged and looked down at the box of Jaffa Cakes in his arms. "Taking it day by day, I suppose."
Recalling Arthur's words, Shaan said, "Should you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me for help, sir. I...I know the pain you're about to endure."
Henry's eyes shot up. It was the closest they had come to acknowledging how dire Arthur's condition was. He licked his dry lips and asked, his voice so very timid, "Who did you...?"
"My mother," Shaan replied softly, "when I was twenty-five."
Henry nodded and looked away. After a moment, he thanked Shaan and headed to his father's room.
A/N- Me coming in hot with the angst again. My muse loved the idea of Shaan working with Arthur before, and that was why he and Henry were so in sync. And before I forget, Happy RWRB Premiere Day! I cannot believe it has been a year since this movie came out!
Check out this post and join the fun in celebrating the one-year anniversary of our little romcom that could being released!
#rwrbmonth#red white and royal blue#firstprince#shaan srivastava#arthur fox#henry fox mountchristen windsor#rwrb#rwrb movie
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A critical review of a Wendigoon video, pls read it all if you're interested and pls be civilโกโก
Uhm so we all know wendigoon right? Beloved horror youtuber, for good reasons too, his videos have such a comforting vibe that I rewatch them whenever I'm feeling depressed, but recently I got to thinking about a couple of things and they are making me.... slightly uncomfortable with his videos.
The first and biggest thing comes from this video which is about the game "Faith: the Unholy Trinity" which is a game about demons, possession, baby sacrifice, exorcism, etc. All told from a very Christian pov (as most media tends to be) which is no problem, the problems start when we delve a little deeper into the uncomfortable implications about the main possessed girl Amy and her story.
Tldr, she started volunteering at a what is clearly supposed to be an abortion or neonatal care clinic where a demonic cult uses it as a front to sacrifice babies for the evil causes... which idk if you can start picking up on the very concerning implications of that.
Now Wendigoon spoke with the creator of the game who explained that the (what I will call) corruption route that the mc goes through is to make it clear that someone doesn't just get possessed by demons, that they have to go out of their way to get to that point.
And we know that Amy was a good girl before she volunteered in the abortion clinic, which when u visit it (starts in the video at about 2 hours 12 mins) it is made clear immediately that it is not... great.
You first see a letter from the owner who tells the who I assume is the secretary to notify him before returning any calls from the health department because they don't want another "surprise inspection" (the owner is revealed to be a demon and a cult leader btw :))
When you walk further into the clinic, you are met with a disturbing and grotesque demon (which is usual for a horror game but please try to see how the underlying message is clear) where a cop (who is 100% a good guy and hasn't been indoctrinated into the cult) helps you int defeating it. There are also stretchers covered in the blood of the sacrificed corpses under them. It is also made clear that they are injecting the women who seek treatment there with a substance to make them hallucinate and so they don't wake up during the "procedure".
And if you want to get a secret ending, you have to go back and fight a demonic lady who unleashes demonic babies at you who look a whole lot like fetuses but that is just my opinion.
The whole game revolves around a demon cult leader who made an abortion clinic to use the 'babies' as sacrifices and to experiment on the women. If that isn't the most right-wing reactionary Christian pro-life talking points, idk what is.
The issue is that Wendigoon doesn't address the blatant demonising of neonatal care/abortion clinics and the disgusting pro-life implications that are baked deep into the game's DNA, he just keeps praising it and it's creator without batting an eye at any of this. And the comments don't even acknowledge it!
This isn't to cancel wendigoon or anything, I've just been thinking about this specific video for a while and I want to get my thoughts somewhere bc I personally didn't see much talk ab this.
#youtube#youtube drama#wendigoon#faith: the unholy trinity#pro life#pro life rhetoric#ugh#there's also alot of us-centrisim in his videos but i don't expect anything more from youtubers tbh#calling other cultures' cryptids 'just another bigfoot/ lochness monsterโ is a bit iffy#but it's not my place to talk ab it#im pro choice in case you were confused#oup i forgor to add tw#tw abortion#cw abortion#tw possession#cw possession
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