#but i don't like doing that with the things i maintain. this also means that i will continually make the choice to put this tournament
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TSAU!Donnie's Ninpō Explained!
The first ability Donnie unlocks is the ability to see mystic energy! Objects or people with with mystic energy has this colourful glowing aura you could call it, the more mystic energy the more brightly is glows. For example - Mikey already has a very bright aura naturally, which becomes even brighter when he is actively using magic! ..... All of this is to say, Donnie found that out the hard way when he used his mystic sight on Mikey when he was using magic and Donnie as a result got a little bit fucking blinded!
All yōkai and mutants are naturally mystic in nature, they always have a visable aura because of that. Humans are not mystic, so they don't have that aura. HOWEVER! Humans can learn how to use magic through certain means like, y'know, Ninpō for example! When a human uses magic, they do have mystic aura, but only while actively using mystic powers.
(Also Donnie totally accidentally discovered that the "teapot" had bad vibes because his mystic sight lol)
After a while Donnie is able to start making constructs out of his Ninpō. Initially however, he can't really form complex designs, it's mostly just blocks and walls, very simplistic shapes. But it turns out he can use these simpler constructs as effective shields! Which is good considering his soft shell as well as the fact that his battle shell in the AU wasn't built to be used as armour. Both he and April gets a lot of use out of the extra defense.
With quite a bit of practice Donnie is able to actually generate specific and more complex designs! Which means that yes, to the horror of friend and foe alike, Donnie can and will summon an entire arsenal of firepower, yikes. He's not limited to firearms though, he's able to generate all kinds of technology and machinery (drill!!!!)
To create these mystic contructs, it does require Donnie to have a good understanding of what it looks like, how it functions, etc. His imagination and his knowledge of technology are what sets a lot of the limits on what he is able to create, if he can build it in his lab then he can build it with his Ninpō. This particular ability requires a lot complex thought, if Donnie wasn't so smart he wouldn't be able to pull it off as well as he does.
Another limitation is that maintaining the contsructs is very energy-consuming, he'll quickly exhaust himself if he keeps them around. He'll usually only summon constructs very briefly for an attack and then immedietly dismiss them.
The way that Donnnie's Ninpō manifests itself is already very technology-oriented, because of that he can interact with ordinary technology through his Ninpō. Personally I haven't figured out the details of what exactly that can look like, but there's definitely a lot of possibilities to explore here.
One thing though, as Donnie's Ninpō grows more and more powerful overtime, a side-effect of that is that if he gets really pissed off or otherwise very emotional, he'll accidentally make the technology in his near viscinity go haywire lmao. (This has the risk of making him even more angry, which just worsens the problem, and so on haha)
I really like the idea of Donnie being the second most powerful mystic user out of his brothers, after Mikey of course. And because he's mostly self-trained, he doesn't have the best understanding of how to properly control his powers, which evidently can become a bit of a problem. Donnie eventually agrees to let Draxum help him get a better grasp on his mystic abilities after the Hamatos and the Draxums become more friendly with each other.
So uh. About how Donnie kinda accidentally infused Shelldon with mystic energy while creating him which caused the robot to develop a kind of soul? Yeah so because of that Shelldon's mystic energy if linked to Donnie's, which means that Shelldon more or less gains access to the same abilities as Donnie does! He's not quite as powerful as Donnie, and he still needs to practice to fully get a grasp on these powers as well. But point is, that's how Shelldon gains acess to Ninpō in the AU! (He also notices their fucked up "teapot")
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Anyway that basically summarizes it! A lot of these ideas are headcanons I have for canon!Donnie as well honestly, the AU is just an excuse to explore these concepts. Donnie's ability to summon fucking firearms and military equipment is also something I've thought about, I wanted to try to think how it would work for him while also putting some limitations on it. ANOTHER THING I like the idea of Donnie's tech constructs basically being the same ability as when Raph creates constructs of himself. The difference lies with that Donnie is a massive nerd so his first instinct is to recreate his own tech with the Ninpō. While Raph being someone who is already so physically strong would naturally use his Ninpō to recreate his own greatest weapon, which is himself. (Donnie uses his brain, Raph uses his brawn, who would've guessed)
#i love figuring out magic systems even though im not that good at it#at least not from scratch#its a lot easier to have something to go off of which i have here#tiz sep au#tizel art#my art#digital art#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt au#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#rottmnt shelldon#rise shelldon
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the 'memories of a duet' codex is so interesting and not just because you can read it in so many ways. given that mythal is on the codex card i think you can safely assume it's about her, but it reveals so much about their relationship if you pay attention. this is a memory of solas learning a song/composing it for her, to remind her of who they are (were) when everything sang the same (in the fade, when they were spirits). she's doing her own thing at court but he does it all just to get a single happy glance from her, to see her remember the familiarity that is so integral to solas's understanding of who he is. 'seeing wholly, being wholly seen'. remember that spirits reflect: solas reflected mythal's benevolence, and mythal reflected his wisdom. they need to reflect to maintain their sense of who they are: it is not just about his love for mythal, but his way of retaining his sense of who he is, by prolonging the memory of that reflection even as she grew away from him.
the 'away from mindless worship and well-meant misunderstanding' is really fucking interesting too. it's a memory of a moment where mythal could forget her role of the charismatic all-mother, who was loved and adored by her children, and where solas could ignore the no doubt frequent insinuations from others that his devotion was romantic. it was a way for them to connect in a way where they could just be true to who they were and how they felt about each other: like branches of the same tree, like family. of course, this was before he rebelled, before mythal betrayed him by joining the evanuris--although how long before is questionable since they're only sharing glances at this point. it's kind of sad, too; it reads like he's already having to do so much to get barely anything in return from this person who is meant to be his family.
it also puts a lot of things into perspective about solas's feelings on the modern elves in dai. that feeling of kinship, the twinning he felt with mythal and felassan and no doubt other elvhen and spirits, is so precious to him. he doesn't want to share it with anyone in this terrible, broken world he created, as if to share it with them would somehow taint it. it's only by the end of dai and into datv that he sees he was wrong, that the elves may have forgotten their history, but they are of the same family: different branches on the same tree.
when he says to a romanced lavellan, you are unique, i have never found a spirit such as yours, you have a rare and marvellous spirit, etc. he's also saying that he hasn't felt this sense of kinship for a long time, that he didn't expect to bond with someone from this broken world in the way he did. it's a different bond to the one he had with mythal, too, because he says he never thought he would find someone who would draw his attention from the fade and by extension, his longing to be a spirit once again--something he constantly tried to get mythal to agree with him on and failed. with lavellan, for the first time, he actually wants someone in this overwhelmingly physical and romantic way--something spirits don't feel, apparently. cole doesn't get with maryden unless you make him more human, and he also says he doesn't feel any attraction as a spirit. solas is actually glad to be a person and not just a spirit, because it means he's actually able to experience romantic love and desire for the very first time (as the romance description in datv heavily suggests). what's more, despite his misgivings, he likes it.
as others have pointed out, lavellan's speech in datv is in hallelujah cadence like the dialogue with the other elvhen. the duet is being sung once again--in a different context, but no less meaningful. there's a song by bjork called stonemilker, where she sings: 'a juxtaposition in fate/find our mutual coordinates'. it really reminds me of this; the need emotional synchronicity, of being completely on someone's wavelength, understood totally, seeing wholly and being wholly seen.
#this is a trainwreck stream of consciousness sorry#solas#solavellan#lavellan#mythal#dragon age#datv spoilers
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oh my god this is SO GOOD omggg crying shaking sobbing eating up every single paragraph, this analysis is so scrumptious and I would like to add more in the discussion cuz this certainly stirred thoughts I had as well about their dynamic so (clears throat)
Hugo's 100% the type of person who would rationalize his emotions rather than just actually let himself feel and process them for what they are in a healthy manner because confronting those raw feelings terrifies him. And so many things factored to him developing this tendency—for 1) he's forced to grow up too soon too fast cuz his situation in life demands it, 2) he loves to figure how things fundamentally work which includes studying people, what makes them tick & how they think & act & behave, etc (a necessity he has to have to navigate his way around his line of work as a con man) and analyzing himself is no exception, so him trying to immediately pin point as to what and why he feels this way about things is him attempting to regain control of himself 3) because to quote his creator, "He doesn't like doing anything that would make him feel like he didn't have control of himself or the situation."—for the longest time he's convinced himself that it's not safe to feel his emotions because it leaves oneself vulnerable and that's the last thing he wants to deal with right now. Especially in the harsh world he lived in, that's like a death wish.
I also 100% agree with Hugo's tendency to call people by nicknames as a means to create and maintain distance from forming any sort of attachment to people. Definitely a defensive mechanism. And it's through his time with team radical, for the first time, did the nicknames he give people turn from distant detachment to genuine affectionate nicknames overtime. (And I love to think Varian got slightly influenced by that and he was the first person to ever call him "Hugh" as an affectionate nickname and it feels hella intimate to Hugo it drives the man crazy lowkey)
"They are both scientists, but one is more afraid of the results than the other."—is a really interesting observation to point out as well. Hugo being afraid of the results that deviates from what's expected speaks so much volume to how when you're working for someone like Donella—there's no room for errors, you don't have the luxury to make mistakes because that risks you of being put on the chopping block of getting replaced in her book—and that's a constant reminder at the back of Hugo's mind that keeps him in line (exactly the way Don wants him to).
And he concluded that deeply liking Varian was a mistake (on top of his issues of dealing with his own feelings like god please help this man), because he knows what's coming, he knows what he has (and is expected by Donnie) to do at the end of the road. He thinks it's wrong to get attached to the team, it's wrong to fall in love with Varian...but it's also wrong to hurt him (and the others) by betraying them, but it's wrong to betray Donella, his lifelong mentor, over team radical too—he feels so stuck, everyfuckingthing feels so wrong and it's eating him alive every day.
I also absolutely love the notion that Varian is the more assertive one between them, he's the one who usually initiates and that really checks out for his character cuz we see that trait in the show from him, yknow... if taking matters into his own hands was anything to go by from s1. Hugo being the more compliant one also makes sense, cuz that approach saved his ass from getting into serious troubles in the past. It's a survival tactic that has been embedded in him really. However, that difference makes them such a good team. Varian develops to be more brave and confident with his experiments because he knows Hugo would be right there to follow through by him—he trusts Hugo like he's his safety net. And in turn, Hugo develops to be okay with relying on others and counting on them when he doesn't have to deal with something alone. Their dynamic builds trust exercise for the two of them and it's oh so beautiful.
And lastly, Varian being the type who wants clear answers really nudges Hugo to be more honest with him and himself, especially when Varian can tell when he's lying or not (cuz two can play that game babey). Hugo's not the best when it comes to communicating himself to others but Varian is very understanding and patient with him and he nurtures the moments when Hugo chooses to be honest because small progress is still progress, especially knowing that the notion can be hard for Hugo who never had a proper support system (outside of Olivia) growing up. Hugo finally has a healthy outlet to process his feelings because he has Varian to help him figure stuff out and vice versa.
Also the way Hugo has always resort to lying and running away (from his problems, from his feelings, from any sort of trouble in life) but for once in his life chooses to stay for Varian because he finally chooses to be honest with himself and accept the truth that he actually genuinely wants to be with him just leaves me screaming and crying and sobbing and dear GOD they're just so perfect for each other, somebody please sedate me right now
I really like analyzing Varigo, one thing I've noticed recently is how different their approach to romance (and human connections in general) really is, but also how they're pretty much the perfect foils in this regard.
Varian grew up sheltered away in their mansion. He didn't have much clue about socializing, so when Rapunzel came to him, he gives all of them proper respect (calling Rapunzel "Princess", Eugene "Flynn Rider", as in the full name). You could assume it's because of his dad; later when the two confronted each other, Varian called him "Sir". Probably because Quiring taught him to be respectful of others, and they both clearly take this social rule rather seriously.
So then Cassandra comes in and saves Varian, for apparently no selfish reasons. She likely just didn't want to have a child get crushed when she could've prevented it, but to Varian, this changes his view on people. Cassandra isn't just a distant figure to respect; instead, someone he could have a connection with. And this is where one of Varian's most essential traits come to light: when comfortable, he treats situations like an experiment. He immediately starts calling her by a nickname, "Cassie", to see how she would react. At the day of the expo, he keeps trying out different tactics, trying to essentially just get close to Cassandra. One could Interpret this romantically, but I personally like to think he just really wanted a friend. A lonely kid, seeing someone cool show any kind of affection for him immediately made him go "there could be something here! I need to find out!", and so he does. In his own, nerdy way.
Hugo, on the other hand. He, unlike Varian, grew up having to socialize all the time. Having to talk his way out of situations constantly, he learned to put up walls so that the most desirable results come out, benefiting him and his missions. When he weasels his way into the Team, he also calls them nicknames. In his case, it stems from a need to distance himself from people, so that he doesn't get attached. One slight exception though is Varian, as Hugo seemingly not only uses nicknames on him to keep up built-up walls, but to get a reaction out of him. This is very similar to how Varian approached Cassandra when he was younger. He's interested in Varian from early on, and he handles this in his good old Hugo fashion, because he finds Varian entertaining. Varian at first doesn't trust Hugo, but when he proves himself trustworthy, he gives in. He's willing to reach out, making Hugo more than a means to an end. Eventually, the two become friends! Then more than friends!
And then, their approaches change.
I'd like to think that it was Hugo, who fell first. Or at the very least, he's the first to realize it, and he HATES THIS. His flight or flight is activated, and he really wants to flee. He's the type to ignore his feelings, try to bury them. That's all he knows how to do, really. Especially because for what could be the first time in his life, he's actually falling for someone who is his friend. Someone who means a lot to him! He wouldn't want to ruin things, especially because he knows that betraying Variant will break the guy's heart, once he finds out. Therefore, the less pain, the better.
Varian is the exact opposite of this. It takes him a long time to figure out what he feels, and that it could be romantic (he didn't exactly have the history with romance before. The "puppy crush" on Cassandra could have easily been more of an obsession with the possibility of someone showing affection towards him). But once he realizes that there's a chance that the two could be a thing? He doesn't have to think hard about what his next step should be: he likes Hugo, and he's a scientist. Trial and error is practically in his blood at this point, so if there's even a small possibility of them getting together? That Hugo likes him back? Varian will do anything to find out how probable his theory is. And so, once again, he treats the situation like an experiment. Wasting no time, he tries to confess or bring up the idea as quickly as possible. And Hugo FREAKS OUT. He's not ready!
Varian's other big trait is his stubbornness. He's not satisfied with an uncertain answer. He wants to know Hugo's view on them, as clearly as possible. So he keeps poking around, trying to find an approach that brings out different reactions, different answers as to why Hugo would be scared of them being together. Again. Really similar to how he treated Cassandra at the expo back then. This is the only way he knows how, though. And he needs clear answers.
He gets one at the last trial. Boom. Heartbreak. This isn't about angst though, so I'll end it here.
I find them so interesting. How their upbringing influenced their view and approach to people, to friendship, to romance. To each other. They are both scientists, but one is more afraid of the results than the other.
So it all boils down to the importance of clear communication: another big theme in Vat7k, what with Ulla and Donella setting an example as what not to do.
I could ramble about these characters for ages, but yeah. This is my view on them, I loooove reading different Interpretations in fan fiction though!
#vat7k#varigo#tangled#tangled the series#otp: destiny by design#varian and the 7 kingdoms#vatsk#tts#varina and the seven kingdoms#vat7k hugo#vat7k varian
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In Stars and Time as a Musical Follow Up: Costumes
Okay, a topic I may have enough thoughts on to make a full post about; costumes! (and a little bit stage craft in some places.)
This is mostly about what people would do if they wanted to actually put on a live version of this, versus treating it like a concept album. I am however going to mostly ignore cost restraints outside of like, truly ridiculous stuff.
So first, some general notes.
The color palette: we will still have all of the costumes and sets be in grayscale, with the red used in the 'say it's name' and Act 5 sequences probably mostly being done through lighting. We will not have the actors use skin paint though. I'm not that mean. The audience can buy the idea that the world is meant to be black and white just fine without it.
Materials: I would avoid overly synthetic looking fabrics to maintain the 'vaguely fantasy medieval' vibe, but I wouldn't worry about using actual natural fabric. Comfort and cleaning are higher priorities.
Ensemble: Not much to say about them! Just that the production would have to be careful to make sure everyone is in truly neutral grayscale and not let too warm / cool of grays slip in.
Okay, let's talk characters.
Siffrin is tricky basically every option for interpreting the cloak has it's own pros and cons. Having sleeves means better movement options for the actor, but they only show up in a handful of images in the game. Full poncho means we get Full Triangle Vibe, but it would hamper movement a lot. Cloak with a pinned closed front means we see more of the rest of the costume more often, which I wouldn't mind, but it does break up the classic triangle silhouette. It's honestly still my pick though. Then there's the eye patch. I know some shows just give characters eye patches, and as long as you're careful staging the dances it will probably be fine? But I assume semi-mesh eye patches for performers are a thing, so I'd try to find one of those. Lastly, hat. It probably couldn't be as absurdly big as in game without casting major shadows we don't want on Siffrin's face, so they'll need a slightly narrower brim and we'd keep the hat pinned in a more back position.
Mirabelle's outfit probably wouldn't need to change much, but her little fingerless gloves would need some reinforcement at the top to keep them from falling down her arms. There's also the matter of her needing to have her sword with her most of the show; it might need to be a little smaller than a true rapier, but Shakespeare shows have duels and such so we can make something work.
Odile wouldn't be particularly difficult to costume as long as you don't make her sweater / jacket too heavy and put some straps on her shoes. Fake glasses aren't hard too bad, but some rigging in the back to keep them on will be helpful.
Isabeau I'm sorry but your sleeves have to be a little less gigantic, it will get in the way of the audience being able to read your gestures / get caught on stuff. They can still be long and loose though. Also, in real life the stripes on his pants being that wide could be an issue in terms of reading where he is on stage with the set / looking kind of goofy, so I might make them just a bit thinner.
Bonnie... I do not know how to make your weird pillow hat work in real life. For most game accurate version you'd have to make it completely from scratch. Something like a beret in terms of construction but... big. And probably held up internally with stuffing and wire. The alternative would probably be a big sunhat, and if you want to include Bonnie getting a new hat just slightly redo that scene to find something else that's similar.
Heck yeah its time for Loop! Now, we're definitely not doing a full star head, that wouldn't let the actor do any of that good emoting. But! I think a lower face mask could still work. You might have to hide the actor's mic under there to make sure they could be heard, but it's definitely possible. They would definitely need a custom wig for spikiness, plus a star-like head piece to top it off. Now the rest of it... I mean, you could go full body suit. I'd probably do that as the first choice, though maybe adding a wispy loin cloth or tie around the middle for modesty depending on your performer / venue. But! Different productions could get really creative with it, as long as the base still has them black and covered with stars and there's the star in their chest. Add in some specific design quirks that are only elsewhere found in Sif and The King's costumes, but just tiny little detail type things? Chef's kiss.
Speaking of the King! He unfortunately does need to be Very Big, but thankfully Broadway shows can pull that off! Something similar to the Wizard head in Wicked could work here, where only some parts of the set piece move (mechanically or via puppetry) and the actor is a voice over. The hair could be a mix of practice and projections. The tears that show up in the fight would probably also need to be projected. The hard thing would be getting it to disappear quickly enough. Maybe the last bit before the loop resets is always in front of the curtain? Could be cool. A less well funded production would probably have to either use mostly projections or re-work to use less moving parts.
Last up Euphrasie! Since she has a long dress getting her some extra height wouldn't be too hard, and she doesn't have to dance or anything so that helps. But! She does need to do the Act 4 finale dramatic kneel down, which is harder to work around. If we cast a tall actor and just use lifts in her shoes, it could work. She wouldn't be as super tall as she would be if we used hidden stilts, but I like the image of her cupping Sif's face, it goes all the way back to the comics, I gotta keep it.
What about y'all? How would you dress everyone? Any little details you'd want to see? And tricks to deal with the problems I thought of? Have fun!
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat au#isat musical au#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat loop#isat king#isat euphrasie
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thought a bit too long about hajun's bilingualism and it turned into its own beast in my head, especially because i overfocused on the pride cd track where, at the height of his emotions, he breaks out a word in korean to express himself. both when he's angry / upset after the confrontation with ryuu and when he's grateful / freshly vulnerable later after that conversation with allen and anne. i know it's a trait of his character to be repressed and insincere in expressing himself but i also wanted to spend time on how language might play a role into his self-presentation, and possibly it is reflective of how carefully he has to maintain and build his image. the language he learned inside-out, the language he was born into (korean) and the language he learned outside-in, the language he speaks to blend into the host culture (japanese), and i think that's the bare-bone fundamental immigrant experience that it might also tie into his sense of isolation and how carefully he curates himself to be accepted and admired, without really knowing how deeply he is loved by the people in his life.
when you learn a new language, if you're busy attending to the rules of syntax and grammar and morphology finding the right way to word things, how much room do you really have for putting in your own voice into that framework, how do you really express yourself in the early stages such that you are truly understood the way you want to be, even in regular conversations when you can communicate with someone in their language, so much meaning is lost between what is said and what is heard. especially when language is the conduit for understanding culture as well.
language has been shown to influence our sense of time and direction and even the range of colours that we see so it's not too far-fetched to mirror this learning experience with how hajun had to grow up in japan away from his family, and his language, and acclimatise to an unfamiliar setting. what i'm trying to say is that after having to internalise the idea that he is unloved by his family, the struggle of fitting into a new society might have exarcebated his loneliness as well, especially since he couldn't regularly speak the language he grew up with. how closely was his childhood tied to the language, how often did his feelings get lost in translation growing up, and is this also part of the reason no one has truly been able to understand him, the reason he doesn't bother with honesty after a childhood of growing up alone, thinking himself unloved and not worth understanding, and of course does that affect his relationship with vulnerability into his adulthood? how do you even begin to conceptualise this kind of experience as a kid? everything he learned turned into habit that became less about being instinctive and truthful and more about putting it together correctly, not just in a new language, but also in a new self, for a new place. if you get what i mean by the parallel.
on language: what language do you think with? how do you access and translate memories into another language? what do you lose of yourself in the process of translation? at what point, do you give up on translating and build yourself something new? at this point, aren't you lying to yourself too? of course, you'd also lie to everyone else.
i don't know if i've read too much into something and turned it into a headcanon, but it's just something i noticed in the pride cd track, when his mask cracks under the pressure and not just through language. that aside, i just thought it might be a good place to start understanding part of the reason why he's so emotionally shuttered and distant all the time. maybe it's language, maybe it's habit, maybe it's because he also has a very selective and flawed understanding of himself, and very likely it is also self-loathing but that's a conversation for another day, thank you for reading.
#more on the repression and how it played a role in his metal erosion LATER. let's talk about language and the immigrant experience first#a lot of this is speculation. you know the inside of my head is a dark twisted place#and i'm not trying to make sweeping statements. i meant using language learning as a tool to understand hajun's character better#of course this is only one way of looking at it. i can talk about this for days#paradox live#paralive#yeon hajun#hajun yeon#anne faulkner#allen sugasano
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FIGHTING STYLE ANALYSIS.
bold what often, or always applies to your character. italicize things that they will sometimes do. and strike out options that they never do. repost, don't reblog.
• fights honorably / fights dirty
• prefers close - quarters / prefers range
• chats during / goes silent
• low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance
• attacks in bursts / attacks steadily
• goes for the kill / aims to disarm / fights defensively / strikes first
• is provoked easily / provokes their opponent / teases
• gets visibly frustrated / shouts while attacking
• uses strategy / focuses on the battle / experiences conflicting thoughts during battle
• rushes in recklessly / tries to read their opponent before engaging
• fights wildly / fights calmly / fights apathetically / fights with anger / fights with excitement / fights with delight
• fights because they have to / fights because they want to
• fights without regard to wounds / runs away when wounded / hides wounds / takes a blow to protect another
• prefers a blade / prefers a gun / prefers hand to hand combat / prefers a bow / prefers a shield / prefers a personalised weapon / prefers magic, alchemy or spells
• their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional
• transforms for battle / fights as they appear
• relies on strength / doubts their strength / relies on speed
• uses everything they have / proceeds with caution / hides their full potential
• exhausts quickly / has high stamina
• behaves arrogantly / brags after landing a hit / belittles their abilities
• uses psychological tactics / uses brute strength
• tries to avoid civilians / strikes down civilians
• damages surroundings / avoids damaging surroundings
• signature fighting style / makes it up as they go
• mastered skill - set / learning their skill - set
• fancy footwork / sloppy footwork
• messy fighter / elegant fighter
• accepts defeat / refuses defeat / begs for mercy
• compliments their opponent / insults their opponent
• uses unnecessary movements / moves efficiently / barely moves
• prefers to dodge / prefers to block
• defends their blindside / has no blindside / leaves blindsides vulnerable
• uses all available advantages / strictly uses one main method
• plays around / holds back / fights ruthlessly / shows mercy
• waits for an opponent to be ready / strikes when opponent isn’t ready
• fears death / fears pain / fears killing
• has ptsd / avoids fighting
• has lost a fight / has won a fight
• has killed / refuses to kill / enjoys killing
• wants to die standing / would succumb slowly
tagged by: i stole this from one of my other accounts tehe.
tagging: anyone who wishes to do it and saw this, say i tagged you!
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#rp memes.#AHH yeah so you may or may not have noticed a pattern amongst my muses and that is that they all fight dirty LOL#but i meannn whenever you're in a fight especially a street one you kind of have to fight at least a little dirty bc your opponet is NOT-#going to show you kindness most of the time i don't think (': so yeahhh and another important thing to note specifically with blamore is-#that it IS a boxer and also practices muay thai so stand-up striking / sweeps as well as clinches are thing's that it'll commonly-#implement into a fight with someone + he's got strong legs and a good sense of balance due to his boxing experience. HOWEVER#i know that boxing personally is a pretty demanding sport that makes it so that you have to be in tip-top shape to practice it most of the-#time so yeah. maintaining strength in the trunk in particular is something you need and this means training constantly which blamore-#may not be able to do sometimes due to its nerve pain but it definitely tries to stay in good shape. BUT other than that-#i could also picture him using his time in gymnastics to help him to win fights and stuff since it requires a LOT of flexibility / strength#to do those exercises as well.
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ok but no guys seriously how do you ask for reassurance in a way that doesn't make you look like a stupid yandere stereotype
#can't be too casual and be like “hey nothing you did all me but i need some reassurance that you still like me”#because thats like pathologizing or something???#i dont actually know what pathologizing is supposed to mean ive done a lot of research and i cant wrap my head around it still#but it sounds like something someone would say is pathologizing#I can't go in the middle and actually explain it like#“hey you've been kinda dry lately i wanna know if i did something or if you're not feeling well or if it's just me”#cause people HATE that#they'll call it guilt tripping they'll lie to get you to shut up and continue to let resentment build#eventually leading to an explosive falling out#OR you'll make them self conscious of their own actions which i would HATE to be the cause of because this SUCKS#but it also ALSO leads to nasty falling outs where they tell you they need to walk on eggshells around you#which may or may not have been due to levels of their own insecurity but either way itd still be my fault#for saying anything in thr first place#and you DEFINITELY can't be like#“hey i really like you and i want to keep you as a friend so thats why i wanted to ask if ive done anything#because you seem really off lately and i don't want this friendship to end because you mean a lot to me and i swear this isn't a guilt trip#or a one-off if you tell me what's wrong if anything i will work on it i will change it i will do anything to maintain this because your#companionship means so much to me“#because that is what ventures into stereotype territory#and it is also really weird and desperate#HOW DO I STRIKE A BALANCE LIKE THIS#the most central neutral option here seems to be the one with the most bad outcomes#also even though I really would do anything to change im still scared of what people might say if i ask that#and i can't just sit with it either because people pick up on my neuroticism and they don't really like it in friends#i don't need a whole rundown of why people like me as reassurance i really just need a few words like#“oh yeah we're cool you didn't do anything/i have personal stuff going on it's not you/etc”#but in the latter case i don't want my friends to think they have to put their business out there just so i can stop tweaking#and maybe it's bad for me to need the reassurance at all?????? even though i see other people ask about it all the time#but maybe it's different when it's me a lot of things seem to be different when its me#AND THATS NOT COMING FROM A PLACE OF SELF DEPRECIATION it's just a thing ive noticed a lot of things are different when its me compared to
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the flash should have ended with barry quitting his job at ccpd to become a stay-at-home husband and that's on that
#the fun part is it genuinely could have ended like that. i have no idea. still haven't watched it#NOBODY TELL ME BTW#THAT IS NOT ME ASKING FOR SPOILERS. I'LL GET TO IT#but honestly it's the only thing that makes sense. i have genuine reasons for this#namely: how the fuck is iris. an incredible but ordinary non-speedster woman. meant to look after a baby speedster#ordinary babies are already making it their life's mission to die. eating shit they shouldn't. rolling over and suffocating.#idk i don't know about kids but i know babies are breakable and will roll off tables and god knows what else#now imagine you have a toddler and she can literally move at hundreds of miles per hour#how the fuck was iris meant to cope?#i still maintain that when they did the 'she put a power dampener in nora' plot it should have been like. not a control thing#but also yeah. literally a control thing because HOW THE FUCK ELSE WAS SHE MEANT TO LOOK AFTER HER BABY#if barry is gone and she's a single mother. assuming no other speedsters are around to help her. what the fuck else was she meant to do?#of course she had to suppress her powers because how can you stop your toddler running into traffic if she can run 1000 times faster than u#how do you keep her in her crib at night if she can phase through the bars?#in that sense. yeah it's fucked up. but you can understand it. you can empathize. what other options did she have?#so yeah stay-at-home dad barry is the only thing that makes sense for genuine safety reasons#he is quite literally the only one who can keep up with the kids#they dropped the ball on nora is all i'm saying. again. fic that lives in my head where original nora's death actually means something#and we get a new nora who is ACTUALLY a different person. as she would be considering her whole upbringing was different#and she has to somehow live up to the memory of a version of her that was erased from time#part of barry and iris can't accept that that specific version of their daughter is gone and it's not her#THE ANGST POTENTIALLLL#in my head she doesn't even go by nora because she's like. THAT'S NOT ME. SHE DIED. WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT WHO I AM AND LOVE ME FOR ME#she goes by dawn bc yeah im still kinda sad they didnt use that name#fictional characters give ur kid an original name instead of always naming them after dead ppl challenge#my fics#my meta
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I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.
I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.
It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.
I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....
#written from my bed as I'm almost crying from exhaustion and hopelessness#I'm PMSing and I had a really tiring day so i know this feels worse than normal#but when you've been struggling to fall asleep for months because waking up means being disappointed in yourself#for everything you failed to do the day before and everything you know you're going to fail to do again today#it's really hard not to feel like shit about yourself#trying to be constantly hopeful but never living up to your expectations#and then the few times that you do you completely crash for days#and then the only way to not crash is to have your big accomplishment be 'i went to the gym' 'i took a shower' 'i answered a message'#and just. again#to have the be the way you're living for months and months and months#it's so embarrassing to admit how little i can do and it makes me so ashamed knowing how much I've done and see what everyone else around me#is constantly doing#and then when i do share things it just kind of dies off because I've been too exhausted to maintain most relationships#which ALSO makes me feel like absolute fucking shit because i think people think i just don't care about them#when it's really that it takes me hours to get out of bed and I'm lucky if i remember to eat before 4#and I hate so much of myself and see it as such a huge waste of time that it uses up almost all the energy i have to take care of myself#but if i don't do it I'll just hate myself even more#i know i keep on complaining about this but I'm. I'm trying to fix it#i have BEEN trying to fix it actively for so fucking long#but it's.....i think I've stopped believing anything i do has significant worth and it makes it hard to keep trying#and i know people will read this and say take something for it but when you're only interactions with medications and drugs#are one experience that scarred you so bad you didn't go to the doctors for ten years and one experience so bad#that you couldn't even explain it at first without HARDCORE disassociating#it's hard to convince yourself that anything will ever be any better and that it won't make everything intensely worse for years
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FRIDAY QUEST! - do friday cleaning - start new project (:
#i am so so so so so so so so so so viscerally aware that i haven't done a pure fun thing for a while and i do not have one scheduled#currently struggling to do anything about this as i'm currently booked up on once weekly outings (my current capability) until.#the end of july i think? i have a couple of weeks blocked off with nothing but it's my parents' birthdays so i wanna make sure i can#hang out if they want to do something together (which would be a nice thing!)#but like. i gotta schedule a fun outing OR ELSE!!!!!!! morale is low!#one thing about the disabilities being disabling is that it feels like u can put all ur energy into maintaining a home quality of life#through chores that will not make you miserable because your house isn't as clean as you'd like. OR u can have fun.#and i wanna do BOTH!#oh well! hopefully i can spend a lot of time feeling peaceful in the garden and do some smaller pleasant things and at the very least#an absence of UNPLEASANT things will not bring things down further!!!!!!!#(by unpleasant i mean both truly things i don't wanna go to and also all the bajillion things that need doing but aren't fun)
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Hiii
I was just wondering if you would do one with all the legend and not so legend pokemon?
Also I might be dumb but are the three legends in the gen 1 - moltres articuno zapatos (however you spell them).
Love this. It is great fun :)
Hello! After this tournament is complete, I have no plans to run any further tournaments on this blog.
As for other tournaments, I have no plans to add any additional Pokemon tournaments beyond the ones I'm already running:
@ultimateunowntournament - Currently polling for 3rd place winner with plans to go to 5th place. @regionalpokemontournament - Ongoing @pokemonunderdogtournament - Nominations, will begin after this tournament completes.
While the Underdog Tournament will include many sub-tournaments with many different themes (one of them being Legendaries/Mythicals), it also has a limited contestant pool.
Doing tournaments with all the Pokemon that aren't legendaries would be a large undertaking, and in polling we've seen that a Pokemon being legendary doesn't really give it much of an advantage when it comes to this more popularity-contest style of tournament. A best legendary tournament could be more interesting, but I have no plans to run something like that myself.
And yes, the three legendary birds from the Kanto Region/Generation 1 are Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres (not Zapatos, ahaha, though that is a fun coincidence, since their actual names end in 1, 2, and 3 in Spanish). There's also Mewtwo and Mew.
#inquiries#i love this work but it is a lot to manage!#i recognize that some people will go on hiatus if they have other things to do#but i don't like doing that with the things i maintain. this also means that i will continually make the choice to put this tournament#and any other tournaments that i run#before my ability to travel or make any other big life decisions that would impact my ability to maintain them
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Anyways incorporating new saint hcs into my semi au Sliver lore means that now saint gets to continuously experience ascending Sliver forever 👍
#rat rambles#rain posting#along with everything else theyve ever experienced yay#here have some other miscellaneous saint hcs while Im thinking abt them#as Ive said before I like to think that they are physically and mentally quite young and mostly act on what motions theyve taken before#which since their existence is infinite and all that jazz it mostly means that they carry both the same actions and the same emotions#across all moments of their existence#they don't rly understand the things they do or the mental states they achieve as they have a hard time focusing on any given moment#it also doesn't help that the more they think the more their thoughts overlap with all that has been and all that there ever will be#plus theyre y'know. a slugcat. so generally they arent super built to deal with smth this complex#no one rly would be but especially not some adolescent slugcat#I also dont think of them as cruel or mean in nature#I generally think of them as fairly kind when they can be#not that its easy for them to act on it#theyre also ofc generally extremely frail and sickly but thats mostly due to how thin theyre stretched out#their body doesnt age but it still is clearly strained under the pressure of an eternal existence#anyways for a complete change in tone I also like to imagine their fur isnt actually like mammal fur#idk quite how to describe the vision in my head but think of it as kind of like thick insulated foam almost?#its actually prone to getting gooey and melty when its too warm#they do have quite sensitive skin underneath the coat so its important to keep the coat clean while taking care to not disturb it too much#hense their long thin tongue thats often used for careful and precise grooming#or at least thats the idea. saint doesn't actually take very good care of their coat and its often left worse for wear as a result#a more typical fluffy slugcat would usually be able to survive in the worst of the blizzard's that appear in saint's campaign#in fact in my hcs there are actually plenty of slugcats whove built large communities together in such climates with the advantage that#they can afford to emerge during the blizzards to stockpile on food and then hide away during the calm times#it's not uncommon for groups that hibernate together to eat their coats to recycle nutrients and ensure they won't overhead during their#shared hibernation together#their coats will usually grow back during that time and are usually grown enough to handle the outside world again by the time they need to#communal grooming is also extremely common as maintaining their skin health is one of the most important parts of their survival
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Goddd there's something so humbling about being broken up with when you didn't really like the person either,, like oh, I'm too much to handle for the guy who made me uncomfortable. Okay. When can I get my hoodie back
#the precipitating event was that i picked him up from work at 10pm so that he wouldn't have to bus home in the snow#and since i didn't really wanna be there and was only doing it bc it felt like the nice thing to do i wasn't in a great mood#(meaning i was kinda asocial not that i yelled at him or anything)#so he asked me like 5 times what was going on with me and then this morning he sent me a snapchat saying he's not in a place to maintain#ANY contact with someone who has “random outbursts”#and then didn't reply when i asked if there was something Specific i did since afaik i was just... generally not super thrilled to see him#and i mean i was trying to figure out how to break up with him anyways since he had a tendency to catcall people#(i think since he's trans he thought it was fine?? but it felt weird to me)#and also he slapped me on the ass when i picked something up and was oddly hung up on understanding why i don't like making out#so like. this wasn't going anywhere.#but also he has my FUCKING baja hoodie and i WANT IT BACK#and if he doesn't respond by the end of the day im literally gonna stop by his house tomorrow and ask for it in-person#also he lost my charger so now i have to get a new one
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Seeking an adhd diagnosis is like "bring someone from your childhood, someone from your adulthood, your 3 most recent report cards, $500, and your firstborn to an appointment you had to call the same practice 5 separate times to be given after following a breadcrumb trail of referring providers. you may or may not receive the diagnosis"
#chats#I mean the really shitty thing is like#I don't dislike how my brain works?? it's just bad at the one thing I need to do to survive under capitalism (9-5 job)#I mean it'd be great to be able to respond to emails and remember to eat and not miss buses because I consistently forget my keys phone etc#but I like how well I do with ideation#I like following whatever interests me in the moment#I like that I'm kind of good at like 80 things#I only want a diagnosis because that's the only way to get medication which is the only way to treat adhd#my therapist keeps talking about 'the meds won't help you still need to know how to prioritise tasks' I already do that#how does a bitch who regularly forgets to brush her teeth maintain straight As APART from prioritising that shit#also it's so expensive and now I have to worry about which friend to bring and whether they know My Relationship With My Symptoms#I mask!! a lot!! if my friend says 'oh nah she always seems on top of things' is that going to preclude diagnosis?#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Characters can be more than 1 thing
Y’all do not get it! Cyno is not just ‘scary, serious, hyper-competent General Mahamatra who strikes fear into the hearts of academic criminals’ nor is he just ‘haha funny Genius Invokation bad jokes goofy dude’ HE IS BOTH!! HE IS ON VACATION HE WILL BE SERIOUS WHEN HE GETS BACK ON THE CLOCK LET HIM BE ON VACATION HE HAS EARNED IT.
#also this is reason number 100 why Cyno shares my exact brand of autism#I also am two completely different people depending on whether I'm working or not#If I am in the midst of researching or doing something important then I am the smartest person in the fucking world#But the moment I leave that office I become so fucking silly and will not maintain the 'work' side of myself#we are the same person in that regard istg#also this is all /lh#I just see too many people talking as if Cyno has gone from one thing to another when he can be both at the same time#I don't act the same way around my co-workers that I do around my friends#it doesn't mean I completely change who I am for like 8 hours a day I just facilitate different traits
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This protest had solid intent but it's unfortunately really frustrating to read about. The article above does a good job of framing it positively, but most of the articles from more widely-read sources maintain focus on the Gala itself rather than the protest, because of course they fucking do; you are not going to have the reach doing this that you think you are unless you actually make it to the location where the event is held and can disrupt the photos, as we saw success with last week at the White House Correspondents Dinner. The odds of making it to the door without a plan are extremely slim, and sure enough, it did not happen this time. Protesters lingered in Central Park; those who did attempt to march on the Gala were blocked by police at every turn. If you're protesting an event as big as this one, you need a way to get your people to disrupt the event itself. At the bare minimum, you need an extensive network of media contacts pushing pushing pushing this on social media and in the news, or you are going to be drowned out by the spectacle.
I am absolutely not saying Don't Protest At Celebrity Events, but for fuck's sake, part of protesting is pushing your cause higher into the public consciousness and that is not going to happen here and it just drives me up the wall. You have to make sure you have laid the groundwork for your voice to be heard when you do something like this! You're marching against the goddamned Met Gala with no strategy to make you bigger and actually get you to the Met Gala? What?
I dunno. I see what they were trying to do, and it did get some news articles. But it does not seem to have succeeded in generating focus the way it would have if they had, you know, actually made it into the crowd at the door. I'm not reading that they had any plan to that effect and it's just so frustrating.
ANYWAY "nobody better be posting about" etc. etc. without also posting a link to a local bail fund if possible. In this case, that'd probably be the Action Bail Fund, which supports protesters in New York. Bucknell has a multi-state list of bail funds as well, though many of these are cause-specific. Do your own research, but please support protesters where you can.
(Here's also a link to a list of Palestinian fundraisers that I believe have been vetted as legitimate. Clicking here will generate a random fundraiser from that list; the website's About page says they prioritize fundraisers that haven't gotten as much attention or have stagnated. So, that's cool. Donate & signal boost, you know the drill; getting more eyes on aid will hopefully help individual people a bit more than just posting a vaguely guilt-trippy link and calling it good.)
nobody better be posting about the met gala without mentioning the giant pro-palestine demonstration going on outside
#''nobody better be posting about blah blee blee bloo; here's a snippy guilt trip and a link to an article; feel bad about yourself''#fuck off lmao#i don't give a single crap about the met gala beyond Ooo Pretty but people are allowed to have interests#suffering and guilt are not fucking praxis and i am sick of needlessly holier-than-thou phrasing with stuff like this#''nobody better post stuff they're interested in without also talking about this'' that is exhausting. and exhaustion helps no one.#so what are you doing.#a vent post that breaks containment is one thing but this seems phrased for sharing. so what. are. you. doing.#and framing it this way is obnoxious. you could just as easily have posted something to generate interest and motivation#look at these people's focus. look at these people trying to center the conversation. they don't appear to be succeeding; let's help.#but no.#just the same old How Dare You Not Post About This Other Thing as always.#i'm so tired.#all of this is to say nothing of the fact that the Costume Institute is the only wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art#responsible for fundraising to cover its operating costs. like YEAH the gala is a spectacular show of wealth#but it is still fundamentally a charity event#the funds raised go towards maintaining the Costume Institute's more than thirty thousand historical objects spanning seven centuries#I get the frustration with people donating so much money to one cause when another is more pressing#but the quotes in the linked article focus so heavily on materialism and consumption and like. hi. hey have you forgotten#it's a FUCKING MUSEUM. it needs money to function. fundraising is how it covers its costs. by all means protest#but you are protesting something that is basically an art exhibit. benefiting other art exhibits. and the preservation of historical items.#i hate to be like 'maybe save it for the oscars if you can't even get to the door' but. uh. that's kinda where i'm at.#hi i'm big cranky today.
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