#but i don't know how to stop
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Since I've been settling back into Tumblr I keep thinking about the fact that this is where I did most of my writing. About all kinds of things.
I haven't really written anything in a couple of years. It started as a bit of burnout but got exponentially worse due to a very bad thing that happened. My therapist has been trying to help me find that piece of myself again. It's been lost for a really long time, and is probably a big part of why I have so much trouble being 'me' anymore, or even knowing what 'me' is. It's really difficult to like 'me' now. On the off-chance I actually do, I feel guilty for having done so, because I still haven't quite shaken the instinct that shouldn't like 'me.' I should be ashamed of 'me.' Maybe that's a big part of why my writing disappeared. I always really liked that about me. Writing would threaten my the paradigm where I can't and shouldn't like myself.
But I mean... I do really miss it.
I hope it comes back.
Maybe being here again will help with that.
#this wasn't intended to be a sad post but ended up being a very sad post#i miss being able to like myself#i miss being able to be proud of myself#i miss being able to feel like i deserve happiness or nice things#writing always made me so happy#and it's like i'm not allowed to have it anymore#it's off-limits now#it's not for a lack of things to write#there's so much i've wanted to do in the last two years#it's just#been gated off#i want it to come back#should i even put this in the 'writer things' tag?#because i'm sure as hell not a writer anymore#no matter how badly i want to be#all i have now are memories of writing#memories of being 'allowed' to write#but if i did that i'd like something about myself again#and if i'm not a good person i shouldn't like anything about me#and knowing all of this doesn't make a difference#it just makes it more frustrating#because i'm very aware of how stupid and self-destructive it is#but i don't know how to stop
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The math just adds up!
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#I always loved how chapter 27 ends with them both so bloody and 28 starts with them in the bath.#not just because of how iconic the bathtub moment is but because you know they had to scrap off so much gore first.#I think everyone in the party took a very long and methodical bath but Falin was basically *all* blood*.#Being covered in blood is one of those 'just girly things' that women deserve to stop being shamed about.#I just don't think Chilchuck is progressive enough. He probably made them take a bath first B*/#Okay jestering aside I want to just highlight -#The magnitude of Marcille's joy at seeing her dearest friend again! Of holding her and sharing her presence in the same room!#Something about this reunion feels like a beautiful dream you are afraid of waking up from...
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Wolverine being a confirmed boy kisser by Hugh Jackman.
#I’m a gaslighter I know. I’m trying to change my deceiving ways#I love how actors stay in mind of their characters and he’s like ‘with my boyfriend’ sir stop PLAYING MIND GAMES with me ughh#hugh jackman#he did it audience dude and HE’LL do it again#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine#xmen#poolverine#deadclaws#Interviewers is just like me hmm hmm#Fanboy: Don't do it Wolverine!#WOLVERINE: YES
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Sad sacking
#i feel like i only have one topic of conversation at the moment#and it's boring people and making them uncomfortable#but I don't know how to stop#my asshole husband being an asshole is almost the only thing i can think about#and it's making me crazy#the kind of crazy that is needy and clingy#and that's not fair#i'm so tired#and i just want to be held#but no one wants to hold me for long enough#(or if they do they're too far away to do so)#I was spoilt by a particular person holding me recently#that's really what I want back#but I've made it weird and burnt that bridge#so instead I'll stay awake until 3am writing fanfic-esque memories of our time#we promised no feelings#i think I have feelings#and I don't know what to do with them#i just want this all to be over
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Fic Idea where Fiddleford helps Stan rebuild the portal, but Stan finds out that Fiddleford has a wife and he's like
"You have a WIFE?? That DIDN'T marry you to steal your car and money???? What are you DOING here???"
"Yeah, well.... She's better off thinking I'm dead somewhere....."
"A WIFE. That LOVES you. Get outta here and go explain yourself, Idiot!!"
"She and our son shouldn't have to deal with--"
"YOUR SON???!!?!!??"
Anyways, so Stan helps Fiddleford reach out and explain himself to his wife, but expresses that he wants to keep being in Gravity Falls, so his wife and kid go to live with them in The Shack instead.
Blah blah blah, bonding happens, Stan bags Fiddleford AND his wife and becomes a step dad, God bless 🙏
#I don't see enough of Fiddleford's wife ngl#i just want Stan to be loved#this fic idea has been in my mind for ages 🙏#LET THEM BE POLYAMOROUS AND IN LOVE!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!#Stan is such a poly bi-con TRUST 🙏#Stan and Fiddleford's wife help Fidds stop using the memory gun#Fiddleford and his wife help Stan feel loved#JUST HEAR ME OUT THEY COULD HAVE A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP#Tate gets 2 dads for the price of 0#cause in canon Fiddleford left when he was a baby and lost his mind so he didn't get any dads#let that kid grow up in an unbroken house hold 🙏#omg you know how in canon Tate works at the bait shop next to the lake#Stan would SO take Tate fishing#he would be such a good dad guys give him a chance😭#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#fiddleford x stanley#fiddleford x fiddleford's wife x stanley#just hear me out guys 🙏#fiddleford's wife
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So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.
#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera#not exclusively but i am talking about her#'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care!#just say that you do not like the character.#people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like#'wow. :( that's terrible.'#and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT#when are we going to learn#when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed#because in practical terms#that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people.#you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like.#you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits#without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments#that's how it works#but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media#when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining.#gwaren exports#fandom problems#fandom critical
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Because I have just seen this specific thing for the second time, I would like to say:
If I reblog your art, I do not expect you to reblog (or share!) my fic in return
If I comment on your fic, I do not expect you to comment on (or read!) mine in return
My enjoyment of anyone's work does not come with strings or expectations
My friendship is not a bill that you will have to pay later
That's it!
#the fucking obsession with fandom becoming ~content creation~ has got to stop. this is not a business.#i don't like it when someone acts like i owe them because they complimented my work#and i will never do that to someone else#kindness has to be freely given or it isn't kindness; it's manipulation#this just. makes me feel super gross and it upsets me that it's happened twice#and that both people explicitly stated in their profiles that this is an expectation they have of fandom#you can't form a community by force. that's not how it works.#anyways. rant over. i just want it to be known that i'm not expecting anything from anyone lol#if i talk to you or hang out it's because i want to. i don't want anything from you except you know#kindness and companionship or w/e#bleargh. gonna go play a game or something.#dixeram
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!
Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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TW: Binge Eating mention
I think I have a binge eating problem and I wanna get help, I really do, but I don't wanna talk to my mom about it.
#all i fucking think about is how much i wanna eat food and that's literally all i do now and end up feeling like shit for it#but i don't know how to stop
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Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)
Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.
Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.
Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.
A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.
It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.
The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.
No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?
That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.
They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.
And then it was all gone.
The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.
The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.
Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.
A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.
A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.
A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.
Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.
Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.
A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.
But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.
Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.
None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.
"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."
Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.
"Did that just-"
The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.
The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.
Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.
"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."
"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"
Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.
It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.
"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."
A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.
No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.
Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?
The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.
He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.
An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.
"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#phandom#dc x dp#batman#dcxdp#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#justice league#I've been toying with the idea of following Pariah Dark's end the zone abolished the idea of a one true king#instead setting up a counsel of the most trusted ghosts and deities with in the zone; including Pandora and Clockwork#I also like to vote for Technus to be on the counsel and Ghostwriter to be like the secretary/note taker#after Ghostwriter stopped being an asshole ofc ofc#I kinda have this list of specific details I've created for this idea and like I keep thinking up new ones#like the Phamily's backstory is somewhat canon complaint with the show but also a whole mess of complex shit#like the expanse of Danny turning into phantom and the events that occurred still did except technically they never did#it's clockwork's time mumbo jumbo type of shit#Ellie had to be deaged some to help stabilize her core so I'm roughly saying she's like 7-8 years old#but idk children so idk how a 7-8 year old actually looks or how they usually act or talk#The JL seriously don't know if they should be hopeful or not but Dan's grin and excitement makes it seem more promising#I like to imagine Bruce is just watching Dan with Ellie and Danny trying to figure out if he's actually a good father or not#people being surprised to find out that Ellie Danny and Dan are all technically orphaned siblings#while Dan is just trying to coparent his siblings with the help of a time god an earth goddess a princess and a dirtbag with a motorcycle#dan phantom#ellie phantom#I can go on and on so I'll force myself to stop now#long post
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Seen a lot of posts about people coming into your notifications out of nothing and liking your entire blog, but here's a shoutout to the people who do Not follow you, who appear out of nowhere, reblog One (1) post that you are Not the op of, and then you never see them again. Where did you come from girl.
#EDITED bc I think this one goes on ppls recommended pages now#HEY GUYS the question in this post is rhetorical ! i don't actually care. you can stop telling me honeys its ok#i like the mystery. i don't needta know everything#also when i say shoutout. i mean it. i love you guys i am not annoyed. you're all wonderful. keep doing you.#posts by ME#tumblr#like ... you didn't find the post thru tags because I just reblogged it#i made no addition. how did you find me#be free you majestic creatures I'm glad I got to witness you in passing#how tf tho.#did you look at my blog but only one post made the cut. amazing. i love you.
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... and he was eager moreover to discover all that he could concerning Mankind. He it was that first met Men in Beleriand and befriended them; and for this reason he was often called by the Eldar Edennil, 'the Friend of Men'. (Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth)
(partially inspired by this)
#small disclaimer: i still haven't completed my annual silm reread#so this mayyyy be a little bit inaccurate#i was having so many thoughts about finrod and the edain again so i couldn't stop myself :)#but!#clarisse! you may ask. whats up with the hands being so realistic but they still have cartoon faces#i don't know. i respond. im at that stage of drawing#you know how sometimes you draw something and stare it for too long and you start having a crisis of whether it was even a good idea#like i've been working on this for the past week! and have no idea if it's even comprehensible#however. i am done with it and methinks is time to release it to the wild#clarisse doodles#tolkien#the silmarillion#finrod felagund#finrod#beor the old#house of beor#baran#andreth#beren
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*Inserts Foxy jumpscare*
Little gremlin fights back! Honestly, Ultima really should've expected that...
Inspired by this:
#godzilla#godzilla x kong: the new empire#godzilla minus one#shin godzilla#godzilla ultima#godzilla earth#minus one being gremlin 2836542789th time#honestly Ultima really shouldn't bully him#but you know how sibling relationships go#we bullyy the heck out of each other#and I guess that is called sibling love#lmao#anyway Minus One don't play#he ready to bite#always#and Shin ate 5 cookies#these cookies are massive#so he needs to stop or he will get kaiju diabetes#do not repost#my art
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Part: 42/?
#i don't know how to stop making these#my memes#rings of power#the rings of power#trop#rop#trop season 2#elrond#robert aramayo#rob aramayo#elrond peredhel#elrond half elven#trop crack#trop memes#rop crack#rop meme#rings of power memes#my post
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heeey guess what, I'm obsessed with this idiot flamingo now
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#maybe? i don't know when to stop tagging for main story stuff#i took a while getting through it but my god has gambit win taken over my entire brain#especially this moron. he fascinates me#he won't tell anyone his age and the only name he'll give is fralio#he's never had a job in his life. he paints his toenails but not his fingernails. he dresses like a comic relief yugioh villain.#i 100% believe this man taught himself how to speak six different languages but doesn't know what a fraction is#an evil cult brainwashed him into being a villain but couldn't stop him from constantly being distracted by shiny plastic toys and anime#his special skill is animal impersonations#i want to put him on a slide and study him under a microscope. he's everything to me.#kakeru will be the first person to tell you how much fralio sucks and he still spent five whole years pining after this dipshit#then decided to just up and dedicate his entire life to rescuing his stupid friend and bringing him home#and honestly i get it. i've only had not-evil fralio for like two chapters and i'm already ready to pledge my life to him#and i was pretty ready before he got his memory back tbh#give 👏 him 👏 an 👏 audition 👏
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Buenos Aires, as fast as we can.
#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#loustat#otp: all my love belongs to you#my edit#my gifs#claudia brings up the ball louis knows what she wants to do there he instantly tries to shut the idea down#because he really doesn't want it to happen!!!#and i feel so so so normal about it#and don't even think about how lestat already knows what's happening here#anyway i need to stop and go to bed lol
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