#but i don't have another doctor locally who can treat this at all

[asksoldieron]

SO-18: Memory Bomb!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, but hopefully my eyes will improve enough to add some later!

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Peanut Butter Bubblegum (SO-18) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

There! They got him! Well, sorta. That's definitely not Erik but he's in there somewhere. They'll get him out! Eventually!

I had such a cool idea for a musical comic but I can't do it. You'll have to read and imagine David and Hyacinth having it out, while what he is now is slowly subsumed by what he once was... Or while an imposter who made a very bad decision becomes permanently trapped in a web of his own lies. Maybe both at once!

*sigh* I'm struggling, but I don't get real feedback from the eye doctor. It's like they don't think I can't handle any negativity, so everything is all smiles and "you're doing great!" while I'm dealing with shit they should've sat me down and told me about before I even had the damn surgery.

You see, I had the impression the surgery was the best option for not losing any of the improvement I spent all last year making myself sick to gain. Heh. Maybe it was, but I've still lost ground and I'll need to put in even more work to get it back. I have a different issue now: stamina. My eyes get tired of focusing on detail, near and far, and in certain situations they'll just stop. I'll be straining as hard as I can and I won't be able to tell you if that's a D, C, O or G. It won't shift in and out of focus like I might be able to get it eventually, it'll just be a static blur until I rest my eyes and come back to it. (Kinda think the doctor thought I was faking or playing it up, since I could read letters the first time she asked me to, and then I couldn't. But the tech just listened to me describe what was happening and said, "Oh, yeah. Your eyes are just tired. Take a break.")

I don't have much trouble reading - as long as it's black and white or close to that. Much like Erik, I can get it from context. I've always read the shape of the word, because my damn eyes never worked like they're supposed to. But art is not like that. Hell, even reading a comic is harder for me right now.

I'm getting my Xmas computer soon. It has a bigger screen than my tablet, and I should be able to draw on it. I might not get so tired so fast with a bigger screen, but I won't know until I try. I found a good enough refurbished deal that I can afford a pen display with an even bigger screen, if it comes to that, but I'll have to give myself some time to strengthen my eyes in any case.

I thought I was just going to heal from this - it would only be a matter of time until the wound closed and my corneas cleared up - I certainly got that impression at the start. But now they say I'm not going to get better without more work. I'm stuck doing pretty much the same exercises, only now they're hard in a different way. The dry-eye does seem to be improving, but there's no guarantee it will keep doing that. I have nearly a year to wait for the dryness and light tolerance to stabilize, those things are the slowest to heal. Well, they would be the slowest, if I didn't have this stupid vision dysfunction. I have no idea how long that's going to take to adapt.

Anyway, this is all too many words. I'm trying to explain why I won't be able to come back with more story after a two week break, even though I have the next six-pack almost ready to go. I can write. I can reorganize the site (and I need to do that, the theme and the global colours are just stupid, and all my pattern blocks are malfunctioning). I can open a new bank account and put together a Ko-Fi page (after Patreon gets rid of my data - they only have a couple more days to do that within their 30-day limit!!). I can't illustrate. Nobody's going to stop scrolling and look at this shit in their feed if there's no images, and I'm not resorting to stock photos or AI.

I want to get to the point where I can spam my followers with something I'm proud of that looks nice, and send them to a site that I'm also proud of and which looks nice. I want more readers, but I don't feel right asking for them when everything's falling apart, including me.

So, I'll be here, but there won't be more story for a while. At least give me until the 20th, that'll be three months out from the surgery and I should be fairly well healed by then. It's just that I have this stamina issue nobody warned me about and no timeline for that. Almost like it doesn't matter. Hey, you can see without glasses! 20/20! Like we promised! Does it really matter if it expires without warning? It works when you read off the chart the first time and that's all you need, right?

No. I told you people I was an artist. You don't seem to be reviewing my chart and god alone knows if you even wrote it down, but you did ask me and I told you. This is not enough.

We'll see what the next few weeks will do for me. I hope like hell I'll be back soon with another six - words AND pictures.

[Back to Site?]

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

[anoddlystoatishhyena]

Just Like Glass

CW: slight body horror (disfigurement/amputation)

(This is also quite a long post, so bear that in mind)

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Notes: THIS IS MY FIRST WRITTEN THING EVER I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH WRITING - This is somewhat based of Land Of The Lustrous/Houseki No Kuni because I have been SO hyperfixated on that, and also inspired by this image that I have found on Pinterest:

If you know who originally made this picture please let me know Ok back to the fanfic-

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It'd been a while since Glass Joe would get to fight against another boxer, having been injured pretty badly in his previous fight against Bald Bull. The Turkish boxer had managed to do quite a number on him, so much so that the Frenchman's personal doctor was worried some damage would be more permanent than the usual brain damage or broken ribs. Luckily, Great Tiger offered to help, to speed up the healing process if it meant Glass Joe could get another turn in the ring faster. How kind of him. Now Glass Joe's in high spirits, not just because he's not in pain from his former injuries. The Administrator has just informed him that his next fight is only tomorrow, and it's against Disco Kid of all boxers. The happy-go-lucky boxer from Brooklyn is the only other fighter with a negative win-to-loss ratio, so Glass Joe was hoping he'd be able to snag another win from this next fight. It won't fix the ninety-nine losses, but he figured he had to start small to work his way up.

"I'm telling you, mon vieux, I'll be able to improve my win to loss ratio eventually!" The Frenchman exclaimed, explaining his plan to Von Kaiser as the two walk down the hall. "I may never make it a positive one, of course, but it'll be better than just one!"

Von Kaiser could visibly see the pep in Glass Joe's step, as he stomps next to him in his usual stiff and tense walk. "...I must say, Mein Freund, I admire your dedication. You've been doing this for... how long now?" "Hmm... around twenty years, if I'm not mistaken." "Really now?" Von Kaiser paused, his eyes narrowing for a moment as he attempted to do the maths in his head. "...I've been here around twenty-two years. I will admit, I'm surprised time has flown by so quickly." "It really is a wonder, non?" The Frenchman remarked, as the two finally make it to the WVBA's lobby. "Perhaps we can reminisce over a lovely coffee and croissant from the local café? My treat, mon amour!" This is met with a stern sigh and weary chuckle from the German boxer, Von Kaiser moving one of his hands out from behind his back to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You always find a way to twist my hand into taking you to that café, don't you?" He scoffs, though his tone is more of a joke than an actual show of annoyance. "...Fine. Let's go."

Luckily, the weather is perfect for a small walk to the cafe - The sun is bright, the clouds adorn the sky in many odd shapes, and there isn't a drop of rain in sight. The two older boxers walk out of the lobby to the WVBA, Von Kaiser reaching for the stairs' railing and holding onto it with one hand tightly. "Remember to actually use the handrails, Joe." He speaks up sternly, glancing back at the Frenchman as he begins to descend the concrete stairs. "I don't want you undoing the work Great Tiger has done to heal you." "Oui, oui, I know..." Came the dejected reply, as Glass Joe reaches for the handrail and begins using it to get down the stairs as well. "...It feels like you tell me to use the handrails every time- wuh-woah!" Of course, Joe being clumsy ol' Joe, he somehow manages to lose his footing, missing a step and grabbing onto the handrail to catch himself. The sharp sound of glass breaking cuts through the air, stunning Von Kaiser into silence for a moment. Glass Joe can see Von Kaiser tense up from the sudden noise, the German boxer's grip on the handrail nearly denting the metal pole as Von Kaiser attempts to calm himself down. Once he recovers enough to begin breathing normally again, he sighs with a disgruntled scoff as he glances back at Glass Joe. "D-Did you somehow manage to break your little compact mirror again?" "...Non, it wouldn't have been that loud.. Maybe Aran broke one of the windows back inside." "But the noise came from here." "...You're right, maybe-" Glass Joe begins to talk, but the second he stops looking around for the source of the noise, and looks down at his foot, the one that missed the step, he goes silent. His foot has somehow shattered into pieces, the translucent, glass-like shards reflecting the sunlight as they lay on the stairs. The impact has reduced Glass Joe's right foot to nothing but a jagged stump, the two men staring down in horror at the gemstone-like shards now scattered across the ground. "M-Mon dieu.." "..Oh mein gott."

[scientia-rex]

Hysteria isn't a fucking thing

ok fun fact: I'm rapidly becoming a cult favorite doctor among our local privileged elderly white ladies, which I have mixed feelings about, but the #1 reason is that I just don't leap to "anxiety" as an explanation for symptoms unless the patient tells me "I am anxious, and then I feel these symptoms, and when I am not anxious, I don't feel these symptoms."

The sheer number of women I've seen who've been told for years to decades that the only thing wrong with them is anxiety is fucking staggering, in this Year Of Our Lord 2023, and I just keep digging. We checked a basic lab panel, sure. CBC. No anemia. CMP. Kidneys are fine. (Electrolytes are basically always going to be fine if someone is well enough to walk into my office under their own power to talk to me. Exception is mild chronic hyponatremia.) And we check thyroid. TSH and free T4. We check blood sugar. A1c, if the fasting is a little weird. Fasting insulin, if I'm still suspicious. We check cortisol. Inflammatory markers--ESR and CRP.

And eventually, if the symptoms support it, or right away, depending on my level of suspicion, we check rheumatological labs for abnormal autoimmune function. Anti-nuclear antibody. Rheumatoid factor. There's at least a dozen you can check, and which ones you should check is always a matter of debate and also of expertise that I 100% lack. We are out in the sticks. There are no "local" rheumatologists for me to send people to.

But a couple of weeks ago I found a woman--she has bipolar disorder and has been told for decades that's all that's wrong with her--who has an anti-centromere antibody titer that's fucking through the roof. I found an anxious 19-year-old with an ANA of 1:1380. And yesterday I found out why a sweet elderly woman I've seen for a year or two now started feeling crappy months ago: her rheumatoid factor is over 90.

Rheumatological disorders are always difficult. Our understanding of them varies from "pretty good, actually, and here are useful treatments" to "Well I Guess That Exists." Labs aren't always a slam-dunk and even labs plus symptoms can give you misleading impressions. Your immune system can decide that virtually any short chunk of protein is an enemy, and the problem with that is that your body is made up of many, many, many short chunks of proteins, so the odds that you'll develop some kind of antibody against yourself just keeps going up over your lifetime. Immune disorders tend to travel in packs; there's a clear genetic element to it, so the more first-degree relatives (parent, sibling, child) you have with any kind of autoimmune disorder (including Type 1 diabetes), the higher your risk of any kind of autoimmune disorder is, and if you already have one autoimmune disorder, you're at higher risk for developing another one.

But I think it's precisely because they're difficult that a lot of mainstream primary care prefers to pretend they don't exist, rather than try to sift through the utter fucking mess that is Mixed Connective Tissue Disorders, a title that has fallen out of favor since I learned it in my third year of med school. And women are at higher risk for autoimmune disorders than men. And older women are at higher risk than younger women.

So if I, as a family doc, just keep digging, just keep poking at the tangled knot of symptoms, there's a decent chance I will uncover something interesting. Hopefully something treatable. Sometimes we have nothing to treat with, and I just get to offer someone more understanding of their disorder, which feels pretty paltry but is better than the casual dismissal of "You're just anxious."

Never, ever, ever take anxiety as a diagnosis for a symptom other than anxiety. Not even as a rule-out. Keep those symptoms as an open question mark on the patient. Don't say "anxiety" just so you can close the door. And damn sure don't do it to women.

I'm actively working on learning more so I can be more helpful, in our Rheum-less community, so if you have good lectures or books, please drop me a lead.

[just-horrible-things]

'Verse: BBU

PSA: Stop taking your human pets to the vet!

Human pets are biologically human. It's right there in the name. When they are sick they need to be seen by a human doctor. 

Don't bring them to your local vet! I am more qualified to treat an emu than a human pet, and I'm not a specialist in birds or exotic animals. 

We learn about the common ailments of all kinds of animals in veterinary school because you never know when someone's going to bring you a critically ill sugar glider or a deer they hit with their car and as a generalist I'm expected to at least be able to provide the very basics before a specialist can get to the scene. But do you know what one animal we don't study? 

Humans! 

Because there's another profession for that and they're called doctors!

Okay, yes, there are optional modules on human anatomy in a lot of courses, and yes humans are mammals and there is some overlap. Don't be a pedant about this.

I am not trained or qualified to treat humans, regardless of their legal status. Don't bring me your human pets. I can't help them, and I don't want to see them. It's a waste of everyone's time, including yours. But especially mine. 

On the same topic, please stop referring to doctors who will treat human pets, and “pet medical specialists”, as vets.

It's insulting to vets, it's insulting to the doctors, and it encourages this misconception that it's okay to bring a human pet to an actual vet.

Obviously I personally think that veterinary medicine is just as challenging and intellectual a discipline as human medicine, but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a doctor who's okay with being called a vet just because they treat human pets. Especially if that's only a part of their business, as it is for many “pet-friendly” practices.

I know people say this as a joke, or because they think it's cute or funny, but it's just a way to distance yourself from the reality that you are keeping a biologically human person as a pet.

If you can't handle that reality, you really shouldn't be owning one in the first place.

While we're at it:

“Pet medical specialists” – also called “Pet health specialists”, “Pet health advisors”, and “Pet vets” – are not real medical professionals. They do not have medical degrees, or veterinary degrees, or nursing qualifications. Calling them vets is an insult to my entire profession. 

And don't take your human pet to a “Pet health specialist”.

They do not know enough medicine to safely make diagnoses or prescribe treatment. It is not safe to take your human pet to these clinics. 

They exist in a legal gray area where they claim to only be giving “health and lifestyle advice”, which is only remotely permitted because human pets lack any effective right to adequate medical care.

If they tried this in the regular medical sector they would very rapidly be prosecuted for practicing medicine without a license. 

So don't entrust the health of your human pet to these people. They're effectively scam artists, passing themselves off as medical professionals to human pet owners who don't understand the difference.

Especially do not rely on these services if you think there is any risk your human pet may have a serious injury or illness. They need to see a real doctor. If you can afford to keep a human pet, you can afford insurance for them that covers actual medical care.

If the problem is minor – like a superficial cut or a head cold – and you absolutely must take your human pet to one of these “Pet clinics”, at least insist on seeing a real nurse. They should at least know enough not to make the problem worse, and enough to know whether an actual doctor needs to get involved.

This has been a PSA from a vet who is sick and tired of being asked to provide illegal or borderline-illegal medical care to the wrong species. Please stop doing this to me. Thanks.

[firespirited]

i've had a severe case of oral thrush (candidiasis) from being immunocompromised for over a year

but since I present flatly and friendly and half the time with a written list because i'm non-speaking that day: my doctor apparently has no clue this is a complaint.

I've done a no dairy, no white carbs diet for a month,

no acid diet

tapered off the prescription antacids and stopped eating anything fatty to cope with the acid reflux in case that helped

each time I reported back in writing that it hadn't changed things

went to the dentist who said you have a really bad oral thrush see your doctor. On his word I finally got treatment for it in December and said "this isn't strong enough a dose but I'll take it while doing all the diet stuff on my end to maximize chances, and i'll report any changes": I was able to taste the christmas meal and sleep without numbing my tongue sores. I requested a higher dose - I was told treatment failing means it can't be fungal, I didn't contest this vehemently enough but forged forward with lab tests instead:

6 lab tests because the local lab doesn't test for candida but didn't say so. I found a private lab willing to take a swab, and they reported back that I have a severe case: 10^7-10^9 cfu/ml.

sent those results via email and today the Dr said: "you haven't complained about your mouth, and we already treated for oral thrush, i guess i could give you probiotics to rebalance oral PH"

Obviously i'm already taking probiotics and have been for 6 months.

I am this close to switching my mouthwash to a peroxide solution and eating fish tank cleaner.

What I need to do is make a scene, perform the distress this has caused me privately to the doctor directly, verbally with emotion.

I am currently flat as hell from depression. I couldn't cry if I stubbed my toe and imagined losing someone close (that's actually regular intrusive thoughts).

10^7 cfu/ml is 10 000 000 fungi per ml, it should speak for itself. Normal amounts are less than 100 cfu/ml. I don't understand how "massive pathological yeast infection of the mouth" by a specialized lab tech is somehow inconclusive.

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i am too autistic for my doctor to see me as human and that's what i've known for a while now, the worst part is that it's made performing emotion or even making words even harder. I know she's having serious memory issues at the moment too and was willing to pretend it was that, give her some time.

i think i'll have to wait another month and see if I can "perform", if only by persistence: send her photos of my mouth every week with sad emojis.

[bigmammallama5]

mammallama if you have energy how did you find your adhd dr? I know I could use one but I'm trying to fight the inertia of getting a dr because of all the experiences of previous medical professionals not listening to me. thank you for reading!

Hey, I've got a little energy! You get my one level seven spell slot for the day lol

I am very fortunate that I have a primary care doctor that takes my concerns seriously and pointed me in the direction of my current specialist. I also have two very wonderful best friends with ADHD who gently slid my wig back and told me "go get tested, you sound like me". I recognize not everyone is lucky to have doctors that listen to them so this answer will be based off of my limited experience and local healthcare in my state in America, so please keep these as general suggestions! And I know it's hard to advocate for your own health, trust me I get it lol, but please stick with it. It's worth it to get the answers at the very least so you can start adjusting.

So if you have a PCP try asking them for places that are in your insurance network that could help you get tested/write you a referral letter if needed. I would suggest first looking for a behavioral therapist that specializes in diagnosing ADHD (like mine does) and treatment. I can't get actual cognitive behavioral therapy from them but they help me keep track of my ADHD and navigate my medication stuff. The extra special thing about my doctor is she was also diagnosed as an adult, so she truly understands to a certain degree of what I'm dealing with. Looking at her during my first visit was like looking into the future of the person I can be with the right help. Having a doctor that has what you have is incredibly valuable.

If you can't find a specialist, I would suggest looking for a psychiatrist that specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD. You can also get diagnosed by a psychologist but I don't think they can actually prescribe medications? But either of those professionals will be able to test and diagnose you!

If you have trouble networking, my therapist suggested looking on Facebook (I know I know) for local/state groups that can help you connect with doctors in your area. You'd be surprised at how ready people are to help others find the care providers they need! You may not even have to ask, there may be a list of medical professionals that you can look over.

I will warn you that depending on where you go it's going to probably cost a fair amount. Even with my therapist's office taking my insurance my testing was still over 400 bucks, but in the end it was worth it for me. I will also warn you that some testing can be quite lengthy from what I hear, taking multiple sessions depending on the professional you're seeing. My testing and diagnoses took a little less than three hours and that's why I'd suggest looking for an ADHD behavioral therapist first. They know exactly what they're looking for and know you're there specifically for that test.

Another tip I can give you is frame your reason for testing as simply needing answers to improve your quality of life. Have that in writing. Don't even mention medication other than "I would explore that if you deem it a viable option for treatment." Getting medication right now is difficult if not downright impossible for some of us, so I would frame your needs on getting yourself picked up and put together. That's really what you need first anyways. Answers.

Be warned ADHD may also come with a side of fries (other general disabilities like OCD/OCD tendencies, anxiety, depression, ect ect that are often the result of untreated ADHD).

ADHD is legally considered a developmental disability and protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Know your rights!

In the meantime I always suggest taking a look through https://www.additudemag.com/ for information about symptoms and research and all that stuff. This is a trusted source that my therapist's office shares with all of their patients! The articles are kept up to date as new research is made available and is laid out in such a way that it's easy for people with ADHD to read and navigate. It's also a great source for parents that have kiddos with ADHD, so pass that around if you know someone who's struggling!

I do hope that your past experiences with poor doctors won't keep you from seeking testing. I can promise you not all of them are like that, and I hope you can find someone who will listen to you and take your concerns seriously!

[ga-yuu]

The Man Who Steals Me ~ Love That Is Immoral Story Event Yoritomo Route

WARNING! The story contains violence.

-----Chapter 1-----

The area was filled with the angry shouts of men and the loud sounds of metal hitting each other.

(How did I get caught up in a war on the way...!?)

Escort: "Ahh...!"

Yoshino: "Hey, wait..!"

The escort guard that was with me, ran away before I can all out to him.

(Are you kidding me? I'm actually left behind)

(I have to hide somewhere)

I looked around and quickly crouched down behind a big rock.

(Why did this have to happen...)

After my parents died, I moved in with my relatives.

I am a pharmacist, but it was decided that I'd be married into a local feudal lord, against my will----

I was on my way to the territory where I was to marry.

..........

(....It seems like things have calmed down)

I slowly stood up and looked around.

(Ah, that man...!)

Relieved to see a figure, I stepped out.

But I soon realised they were armed people, I stopped.

Soldier 1: "Yoritomo-sama, please take it easy!"

Yoritomo: "This is nothing."

A man called Yoritomo-sama controls the rushing soldiers with one hand.

He appeared unconcerned, but blood was spilling from his shoulder, creating a small stain on the ground.

(It's an arrow wound)

From the armor he was wearing and the people around him, he seemed to be a man of high rank.

A chill runs through me as I recall the sights of the war I saw while hiding behind rocks.

(....I'm scared. But I can't just turn a blind eye to this)

I gathered up my courage and walked up to them.

Soldier 2: "Who are you!?"

A soldier is the first to spot me and steps forward as if in alarm.

Yoshino: "I'm a pharmacist. I see that you're injured. If you don't mind, can I treat you?"

Soldier 1: "....Be on guard, there's a suspicious woman."

I can feel glares from every side and the man named Yoritomo-sama smiled.

Yoritomo: "By the looks of it, you seem like a common town girl. I wonder how you ended up here."

Soldier 1: "Yoritomo-sama, we still don't know her intentions..."

Yoritomo: "No problem. Just go and inform those in the rear about the current situation."

Yoritomo-sama, despite his wounds, calmly gives instructions to his men.

(He's still bleeding. How can he be so calm?)

(I can't leave it like this. I need to take care of it quickly)

As a pharmacist, I was growing impatient with the wounds, which looked severe.

Yoshino: "...Please let me see your wounds. I swear I'm not a suspicious person."

Soldier 2: "Every suspicious person says that. We still can't let you get close. Leave."

Yoshino: "Just let me through! There's an injured man in front of me and I won't stand idly by."

When I raise my voice, the soldiers were momentarily startled and flinched.

In the meantime, I rushed to Yoritomo-sama and quickly inspected the wound.

Yoritomo: "....So you are a real pharmacist."

Yoshino: "I said I wasn't lying."

I looked up at Yoritomo-sama with determination.

Yoshino: ".....I don't know who you are or what your position is."

Yoshino: "It must be difficult to trust a self-proclaimed pharmacist who comes out of nowhere."

Yoshino: "But for me, you are just another injured person. Let me do my job."

Yoritomo-sama's eyes widen in surprise for a moment and then he smiles.

He came closer and whispered to me.

Yoritomo: "Not bad. I don't hate people like you."

Yoritomo: "Now that you have said, please heal me, doctor?"

...........

The war ended safely----

I was brought straight to Yoritomo-sama's palace having undertaken the role to heal him and his soldiers.

(I never imagined that I would be in a place like this)

I look up at the person sitting in front of me, leaning on one side.

Yoritomo: "It's been a month since you arrived here."

Yoritomo: "You seem to have gotten used to living here pretty well."

Yoshino: "Yes. Thanks to you."

(I knew you must be a man of some rank when I first saw you)

Yoshino: "...But I still haven't got over the shock that Yoritomo-sama is actually Saiitaishogun."

(In hindsight, I had heard your name from people's rumors)

(Although I never thought I'd meet anyone like this in my ordinary life)

When I tell the truth, Yoritomo-sama's lips turn up.

Yoritomo: "It's time you got used to it."

Yoritomo: "You, who dared to fight through the soldiers on a battlefield for someone you have never met before."

The teasing tone of his words made my heart skip a beat as I felt the closeness he was directing towards me.

(...Its wrong to feel like this)

Although I'm indebted to him for a reason, he is a person, with whom its not easy to have a close relationship.

(And soon, I'll be leaving this place too)

Yoritomo: "It will only be a few days before the man who will become your husband arrives in Kamakura."

Yoshino: "...Yes."

Even after the war ended I was unable to join with my escort who fled.

(As expected, he may have been feeling guilty for not fulfilling his role)

(But what would have happened if Yoritomo-sama had not brought me to his palace like this)

I was allowed to stay at the Shogunate for my services in treating the wounds of Yoritomo-sama and his soldiers,

In the meantime, I contacted the feudal lord to whom I was to marry and asked him to receive me-----

I spent the rest of my time checking on Yoritomo-sama's wounds.

(I have to be ready for this. When they come for me, I'll be the wife of a man whose face I don't even know)

(...I wonder which number of wife I am?)

I felt my face getting gloomier.

Yoritomo: "You don't look like a bride waiting for her husband."

(...!)

Yoritomo-sama came quietly right in front of me and lifted my chin with his fingertips.

My cheeks heat up at the feel of his fingers.

Yoshino: "W-Well...my life here is so fulfilling as a pharmacist that, I'm probably a bit sad that it's coming to an end."

Yoritomo: "It's a plausible argument."

The eyes that seem to see through everything stare at me up close.

Yoritomo: "..Is that really all there is?"

-----Chapter 2------

Yoshino: "W-Well...my life here is so fulfilling as a pharmacist that, I'm probably a bit sad that it's coming to an end."

Yoritomo: "It's a plausible argument."

The eyes that seem to see through everything stare at me up close.

Yoritomo: "..Is that really all there is?"

When I was confused by my extremely noisy heartbeat-----

Shigehira: "Ah there you are, Yori..tomo..sama..."

(....!)

I saw a small face through the sliding door, which had been left open and I hurriedly backed away.

Contrary to me, Yoritomo-sama answered in a relaxed manner.

Yoritomo: "Do you need something? Shigehira?"

Shigehira: "I want you to take a look at this..."

After saying that, Shigehira-kun turned to look at me.

Shigehira: "Hi Yoshino-san."

Shigehira: "....Why is your face all red?"

Yoshino: "I-Is it? No, I think it's just your imagination."

(I have to try deceiving him)

However Shigehira-kun seemed to have guessed something from my face and glared at Yoritomo-sama.

Shigehira: "She's going to marry someone else soon. Please don't do anything that would cause strange rumors."

Yoritomo: "What kind of strange rumors Shigehira?" *cocky smile*

Shigehira: *blushing* "Ahem..well that's..."

When Yoritomo-sama asked him calmly with a cocky smile, it was Shigehira-kun's turn to start blushing.

Yoritomo: "You mean you suspected something you couldn't tell me? That's a false accusation."

Shigehira: *sighs* "...There is no use talking to you. Yoshino-san, you should be careful of this person."

Yoshino: "M-Mm." *still blushing*

I couldn't help but nod involuntarily and then giggled under my breathe.

(Shigehira-kun and the others have accepted me as a matter of course)

I met Tamamo, Kagetoki-san and Morinaga-san at the Imperial Palace, who also cared for me.

(Now it seems as if the palace is like my home)

That's why I felt gloomy when I thought about the forthcoming welcoming.

(I'm going to get married soon...)

(But yes, I'll only be staying here for the time being. I'm only a pharmacist here)

When they come for me, I am sure I will never speak to Yoritomo and others like this again.

(It's so cozy that you almost forget, but I should not get too close)

(In case there are any bad rumors about Yoritomo-sama...)

Yoritomo: "What's wrong?"

Yoritomo: "Nothing. I'm finished with your treatment, so I'll leave."

I quickly left the room and took a breather.

(The arrow that pierced Yoritomo-sama on that battlefield gouged deep into his arm)

(Yoritomo-sama must have been in pain, but he didn't show it in the slightest)

Having seen so many wounds on people, I could understand Yoritomo-sama's gallantry.

(He's really is a great person)

(...When he's not wearing a cat mask, he's mean)

I remember the look in his eyes when he stared at me up close, and I gently pressed my chest.

..........

A few days later, I was flipping through a book on medicines in the library.

(I'm learning so much. I'm glad they gave me permission to read the books in here)

After reading for a while by the candlelight, I was suddenly approached by a voice.

Yoritomo: "I knew you'd be here when I didn't see you coming check on me."

Yoshino: "...! Yoritomo-sama!"

Yoritomo: "You've been cooped up here since noon, right? You must be concentrating so hard that you didn't even realize what time it is."

Yoshino: "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize."

When I apologized, Yoritomo-sama smiled.

Yoritomo: "There is nothing to apologize."

Yoritomo: "I just thought you are very enthusiastic about work."

Yoritomo: "That's how proud you are of your job as a pharmacist, right? I especially like that about you."

The expression on his face was unusually soft and my heart leapt.

(Yoritomo-sama is always like this. He casually finds out what I value most and recognizes it)

----But every time, I noticed his kindness, I was confronted with a sad reality.

(....There was not a single word of concern about me being left behind on the battlefield in the letter sent from my fiancé)

(It was a nail in the coffin that told me to behave myself in the palace until they came to pick me up)

Perhaps my married life will never have the warmth that I feel now.

The more I was attracted to Yoritomo-sama, the more I felt guilty about the situation.

(It would be bad if anyone else saw us here alone)

This could lead to speculation and cause trouble for Yoritomo-sama.

I put the book back on the shelf and turned to look at Yoritomo-sama again.

Yoshino: "Thank you for allowing me to use your library."

Yoshino: "Then, please excuse me----"

When I tried to open the door, Yoritomo-sama grabbed my hand.

Yoritomo: "You know that your face always shows what's in your mind, right?"

Yoshino: "Eh....?"

Yoritomo-sama looks at me with somewhat heated eyes.

Yoritomo: "....A woman who has another partner shouldn't show such a sad look on his face."

Yoritomo: "It makes me want to take her away from them with my own hands."

(What are you----)

Even though I know I shouldn't be attracted to him, my chest tightens sweetly.

Before I could say anything, he suddenly hugged me and kissed me on the lips.

Yoshino: "Mm..."

Despite his forceful behaviour, the arms around me were gentle.

It wasn't so strong and I could shake it off if I wanted to, but I couldn't refuse.

(I love Yoritomo-sama, but-----)

When I managed to come to my senses, I gently pushed his chest away.

Yoshino: ".....Mm..please stop...I'm going to marry someone else...."

Yoritomo: "You don't belong to anyone yet."

He whispered around my neck, my shoulders jump at his faintest breathe.

Yoritomo: "Tell me what you're really hiding. Your 'fiancé' is not here anyways."

Yoritomo: "The only one there is...me holding you."

Yoshino: "...Ah.."

He kisses my neck and my shoulders tremble at the stimulation.

His lips continued to trace my skin and this time he kissed my ear.

Yoshino: "Yoritomo-sama..."

Yoritomo: "The way your voice sounds, it's like you're begging me for more..."

The teasing tone of his voice seemed to be laced with a passion that could not be concealed.

Yoshino: "That's not tr...mmm.."

As I was trying to talk back, he snatched my lips immediately and I was unable to speak.

Yoshino: "Haa....Mm..Mmm..."

The kiss deepens and his tongue enters my mouth tickling all my weak spots.

A sweet numbness ran through my body, and I finally managed to put my arms around Yoritomo-sama's back as if to cling onto him.

(I can't keep going...)

Yoritomo-sama supports my body as I felt like I was about to collapse.

Eventually our lips parted and Yoritomo-sama smiled wickedly at me closely.

Yoritomo: "You shouldn't be showing this kind of face to another man."

Yoshino: "That's...."

(It's feels so painful to resist when it's with Yoritomo-sama)

(I'd really rather him take me away than marry someone who I don't even know. But.....)

Yoshino: "...I am indeed attracted to you. That's why...I can't tarnish your name."

Yoritomo: "...Yoshino."

When his eyes widen, I smile.

Yoshino: "...Can I ask for one thing?"

Yoshino: "In memory of someone I love...just once, can you hug me tightly?"

Yoritomo: "....!"

Without saying a word, Yoritomo-sama hugged me tightly.

The sadness is so painful that it makes my heart ache.

(Let's live with these memories)

(Even though I can no longer exchange words in close proximity like this with Yoritomo-sama)

After feeling the warmth for a while, I heard a voice from outside that sounded a little impatient.

Maid 1: "Where is Yoshino-sama? Someone has come to pick her up..."

Maid 2: "I saw her going to the library earlier today...."

(....! Someone has come to pick me up...)

Premium END

Maid 1: "Where is Yoshino-sama? Someone has come to pick her up..."

Maid 2: "I saw her going to the library earlier today...."

(....! Someone has come to pick me up...)

Yoritomo: "Yoshino, just be patient for a little while."

(Eh?)

When I looked up, he gave me his usual wicked smile.

Yoritomo: "If you love me..."

(What on earth are you thinking?)

(But...I'm sure Yoritomo-sama has something in mind)

When I nodded, Yoritomo-sama told me his plan.

..........

Feudal lord: "At last we meet, my bride."

In the room provided, I was left alone with the feudal lord who had come to meet me.

Feudal lord: "I had heard that you have the knowledge of medicine...but I never thought you would help Yoritomo-sama."

Feudal lord: "You have done a good deed, and I, your husband, will remember you."

(Not that I was acting on such calculations, but....)

Yoshino: "I'm also glad that my experience as a woman imitating a pharmacist has helped them in some small way."

Yoshino: "From now on, I will serve you, my husband."

When I told him so, the lord nodded with satisfaction and drew himself closer to me.

(Nn....)

Feudal lord: "Surely that knowledge could be of more use than it seems."

I was quickly overcome by a feeling of disgust as his hand rubs my waist.

(....I need to get my act together. I have things to do)

Yoshino: "Is my husband, interested in medicine?"

Feudal lord: "Oh. It's good business to have a stake in the lives and deaths of people. Some people are willing to pay for it."

(T-That's the way you think....)

I wanted to instantly fight back, but I had put on a nonchalant face for the sake of my role.

Yoshino: "But it's also hard to collect materials with medicinal properties. I had a hard time that myself....."

Yoshino: "Well, sometimes you have to be a bit deceptive."

When I smiled, deliberately in a light-hearted manner, the feudal lord narrowed his eyes, as if intrigued.

Feudal lord: "Certainly materials with medicinal properties are expensive."

Feudal lord: "....The ignorants are willing to buy even slightly adulterated and adulterated products. It's ludicrous."

The lord laughs happily.

Feudal lord: "That's why people like me make money from the top."

(As expected...this person!)

I am convinced that I remembered what Yoritomo-sama told me in the library.

At that moment, the lord reached out and grabbed my kimono.

Yoshino: "W-What are you doing?"

Lord: "You were obedient a moment ago, so why not now? I'm just going to have a taste, so be quiet."

Feudal lord: "Once that is done, you'll be a sweet, obedient girl who only listens to me."

The lord tries to put his hand inside my kimono.

(No...!)

Just as she was about to scream, the sliding door opened.

Yoritomo: "What's so great about a woman who just does whatever she's told, huh?"

Yoritomo: "It's the same as not having courage to say anything out loud."

(Yoritomo-sama...!)

As he enter, Yoritomo-sama holds my hand and pulls me away from the feudal lord.

He brought his lips to my ear and whispered sweetly.

Yoritomo: "But most of the time, you're a pretty obedient and cute woman in front of me."

(Mm....)

In spite of the situation, the words spoken so casually made my heart skip a beat.

Feudal lord: "W-What are you doing....?"

Yoritomo: "It seems you were making a lot of money by selling inferior drugs at high prices."

Yoritomo: "I've done my research. I also found out about the traders you are connected to."

Feudal lord: "Tch....."

A number of men, who were apparently waiting outside, arrive and arrested the lord.

Yoritomo-sama held me in his arms and called out to his back.

Yoritomo: "I'm taking her. She's too good for someone like you."

...........

I was brought straight to Yoritomo-sama's room.

He suddenly, extended his hands towards me.

I was so startled that I reflexively braced myself, and Yoritomo-sama carefully adjusted my disordered kimono.

Yoritomo: "That must have been scary, right? I'm sorry."

(Eh...)

Yoshino: "Yoritomo-sama can also apologize, huh?"

Yoritomo: "Seriously you."

The look of dismay on his face made me feel a little more at ease.

Yoshino: "I was joking. It was my decision to accept to be a decoy."

(In the library, Yoritomo-sama told me about this plan)

(I wondered what was going to happen, but I'm glad he took at my word and confessed)

Yoshino: "I was scared and I didn't want to be touched, but....I believed that Yoritomo-sama would come."

Smiling, Yoritomo-sama gently caressed my cheek.

The gentle touch makes rises my body temperature.

Yoritomo: "What about me touching you?"

Yoshino: "...I don't mind you. I mean you already know that, right?"

When I glared at him in embarrassment, Yoritomo-sama smiles faintly.

Yoritomo: "You've got the decisive word from that feudal lord, which will make the rest of the investigation run smoothly. Well done."

It seems that the reason Yoritomo-sama did not send me off to marry, but allowed me to stay at his palace, was because he knew about the rumors about the feudal lord.

(I was being protected by Yoritomo-sama from the very beginning)

Yoritomo: "You're a good woman, and you're proud to be a pharmacist. There's no way you'll be happy with a man like that as your husband."

Yoritomo: "In return for saving my life on the battlefield, I sabotaged your unhappy marriage."

Yoritomo: "...Well, it's also true that I wanted to keep you close to me."

(Mm.....)

Yoshino: "What does that...mean...?"

I asked Yoritomo-sama, feeling my heart pounding.

Yoritomo: "You already know, don't you? We also made out in the library."

-----FLASHBACK-----

Yoritomo: "Tell me what you're really hiding. Your 'fiance' is not here anyway."

Yoritomo: "The only one there is...me holding you."

----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(Yoritomo-sama did that to me because he knew that this marriage would break up)

However, I feel that I was approached in a way that made me feel guilty.

(I wouldn't have felt guilty if he had told about the situation from the beginning. I mean...)

Yoshino: "You didn't hide that on purpose, did you? Just to make fun of me."

Yoritomo: "But because of that, you also made me become honest to my feelings."

Yoshino: "...I-I was really worried, you know!?"

Even when I reminded him of the sadness of that moment, and criticized him, Yoritomo-sama was having none of it.

Yoritomo: "You were too cute when you refused to be mine even though you really wanted to."

Yoritomo: "Sorry?"

(....You're so cunning. If you apologize like that, how can I stay angry!?)

Yoshino: "...I wish you had told me sooner."

Yoritomo: "To deceive your enemy, you should first start with your friends."

Yoritomo: "And I love the way you tried so hard to suppress your feelings in order to protect my honor."

Yoshino: "I still feel like you're making fun of me."

Yoritomo-sama smiles happily and hugs me tightly.

Yoritomo: "If you doubt me, I'll tell you all the things I like about you until you're satisfied."

(Yoritomo-sama....)

Yoshino: "Oh...then, for how long did you have feelings for me?"

Yoritomo: "It all started when I first met you."

Yoritomo: "You didn't fear me, you just came up to me with the sole intention of treating the injured."

The words are spoken without hesitation.

Yoritomo: "The strength and sincerity with which you do your job, no matter what the circumstances, is what attracted me to you from the very beginning."

Yoritomo: "It didn't take long for that fondness to turn into a desire to keep you close to me."

Yoritomo: "That is more than enough for the short time we spent together in the palace."

(I'm so glad you think so...)

I couldn't help but smile.

Yoritomo: "Do you still want me to continue?"

Yoshino: "N-No...I feel like my heart is already filled with happiness."

Yoshino: "Maybe...I think I love Yoritomo-sama more than I thought...."

Yoritomo: *blushing*

(...Oh no! I said something without realizing. That is embarrassing)

When I slowly look down hiding my red cheeks.

Yoritomo-sama suddenly grabbed my chin with his fingertips.

Yoritomo: "This is your problem. You'd say something or react in a way defenseless to provoke men like me."

Yoshino: "Hm?"

Yoritomo: "I told you not to let any other man see you like this...but at this rate I'm going to have to protect you otherwise you'll just go out there and..."

Before I knew it, Yoritomo-sama's fingers were on my obi.

He easily unravels it, revealing my shoulders.

(Nn.....)

Yoshino: "W-Wait..what's this all of a sudden?"

I panicked and started resisting, but...

Yoritomo: "Do you even know what kind of face you're making right now?"

(Well...)

He grabbed my wrist, and whispered in a low voice sending a shiver down my spine.

Yoritomo: "I know very well that nothing I say will make any difference to you."

Yoritomo: "I'll just say it with my body."

Yoshino: ".......Mm.."

As if to silence any objections he kissed me on the lips.

The hand that touched me was gentle, as if cleansing the area where the feudal lord had touched me earlier.

(I still think he's pushy, but...I can tell he cares about me)

The feeling of being loved hits my heart----

I also wanted to convey this feeling as much as possible. So, I put my arm around Yoritomo-sama's back.

[samkat10423]

Some more lots

Didn't get much done yesterday, since I'm lazy. And the weather here has finally left the minus digits and is semi-warm. Plus - our furnace which died right at the beginning of our Artic Winter phase - was finally replaced. Took 2 weeks to get one, but it works so no more freezing our tuchus off.

Anyway, I decided to work on a beach lot to replace that one over by the Wolff house. Recurve Strand - or something like that.

This is another Lili lot that I altered. Where that scuba shop is, she had a bar and some picnic tables. I got rid of that and built the little shop. Then I placed a lifeguard chair and awning - so my stupid sims don't drown. I really don't care if they do - gets rid of the stupid gene from the DNA gene pool - but the local sims all seem to care. Inside those 3 little builds, I made them more functional - as is: I got rid of all the unnecessary crap that was inside and made them into actual changing rooms. Later on, I'll add that surf thingie that EA sold in the store, so my stupid sims can surf. And maybe some yoga mats so they can channel their inner zen. But for now, this is it.

Then I hopped over to where that Lofty Cerulean pool was. My whiney sims complained that they were breaking out in rashes whenever they took a dip - like my city council cares. The local doctors - who attended the meeting - reminded them that they could treat their rashes for an astronomical fee. All they have to do is come to the ER, but they insisted that the pool needed to be upgraded. After all of 30 minutes of deliberation - 25 of which were spent on bathroom breaks - the council came back with their answer. NO. After all - as they told them - if you can come all the way to city hall to picket and throw temper tantrums, you can walk to the town pool.

With that, they bulldozed the old lot and built some tennis courts. They did leave the old building - where they sell booze, because they can. In an effort to save some simoleons, they recycled some old street signs and made some cheap tables and chairs out of them, and used some old crates to make a bar. Plus, they used some old jars and made lights. Progress as Promised! (That's their campaign slogan).

Then I decided to get rid of that live show venue the game automatically loads. This little bar was made a gazillion years ago by someone over on MTS - before the Seasons ep. I don't think he's active anymore since he threw several rants about EA over there. Anyway, it had a fake "glass" domed roof that just let the weather in. So, I got rid of that and added a new frieze to the roof. Then I kicked out the back and sides - so I'd have room for the stage. Plus, I added that roof stuff, used some different plants and added a parking lot. Plus, I gave it some actual doors. (He just used arches).

Inside, I got rid of everything. I think the only thing I kept was the wall and floor finishes. I used Sandy's tropical bar set, then recolored dive bar counters to match it. Those totem poles I just recolored. I think they came with that Island Paradise set. Where the pool table is, there were a couple of arcade machines, but I have an arcade, so I got rid of them. Then I placed some showtime seating so sims actually watch the acts. I mostly used the Tiki sets to do this build. I'll go back in and use the invisible dance floor later to replace the game one. (I just wanted to make sure I had room for a dance floor).

Outside, I used stuff from Island Paradise for the patio. You can't see it, but there is that Late Night bubble bar - probably the only thing I kept from the original build. I also used that smaller stage for this build. I really didn't go crazy with stage decor. I have an acrobat in town, but not much else right now.

Then I went back to Agnes's house to finish taking sims into CAS. This house was built by plumbob for their updated SV save. I have always hated the original, and this one still has a modern vibe without looking totally stupid. They did get rid of the nursery inside, and replaced it with a large guest room. But I fixed that by dividing the room and adding an unfinished space with baby stuff. It's roped off using that roping from Late Night. I moved her niece into the semi-finished area. I figured Agnes was originally going to hire a live-in nanny to help with her baby, which is why the room was so large. I decided to keep the niece at the child phase instead of making her into a teen. Right now, Agnes doesn't like her much - and her father (my town acrobat) even less. But since she is an attorney, she sued for custody. And won. As in RL, simoleons talk.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Strong Woman Do Bong Soon - Ep 8

Apparently he's decided to just pretend that she didn't throw him several feet across the floor. I mean fair.

Oh my god he bought her a laptop and made his own face the wallpaper

I do like that even though Do Bong Soon's mother lost her strength she still assumes the role of protector in her own way

Oh my god she flicked a dude's teeth out!

It's weird that Do Bong Soon vs local inept gangsters is a comedy, but then the whole serial kidnapper is dark and creepy

Dude, no one wants to hear that their twin brother is hotter than their crush

Okay, no. You don't get to make her cheating his fault by claiming he was a bad boyfriend because he was secretly in love with Do Bong Soon this whole time. He took her on dates, he took her to the hospital for her treatments. He was an attentive boyfriend who treated Do Bong Soon more like a little sister until recently.

I can't believe it took his dad talking about all the women Ahn Minhyuk used to date while he was studying abroad for her to realise he's not actually gay.

I have definitely seen another drama filmed here but I can't think which one. I feel like there was a scene where a man and a woman meet here. Stupid brain. I'll probably remember in about a month.

I like that this is a day of meet the parents. They had breakfast with Do Bong Soon's family, then they had second breakfast with Ahn Minhyuk's family and now they're visiting the grave of Ahn Minhyuk's mother

Aww he's a good boy. Putting aside his own happiness for hers.

Okay, domestic abuse is not funny just because it's a woman hitting a man

I'm enjoying this dude giving a Steve Jobs style presentation of all the gang members Do Bong Soon has injured

You really need a new job if you think you can tell whether someone is gay or not because you're a doctor

I don't fancy their chances tbh. I do like that Ahn Minhyuk and In Gookdoo are rushing to save her and she'll have probably kicked all of these guys asses by the time they get there

[crusherthedoctor]

4, 39, 40 :D

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

The first one is obvious… Sonic himself! Wouldn't make sense to spend so much time on a Sonic fic if I didn't care about his universe. That said, I don't intend to pull an Archie with the lore. Stellar focuses on its own story and setting that just so happens to partially incorporate one previous bit of lore, in a similar manner to what SA1 did with the backstory introduced in S3&K. There are some mild references to other lore, but never in a way that tries in vain to wrap it all together in a neat little bow.

The environments are also largely inspired by that of previous Sonic locales. Mostly from non-mainline installments, since for various reasons (being on a handheld ala Advance/Rush, being a racer ala Riders/Rivals/Sonic R, being on motion controls ala Storybooks), they didn't have the same level of freedom as those in the main games, meaning there's a lot to expand on and make something new out of.

The other major influence for environments and aesthetics is, you guessed it, Spyro. I make no secret that le purple dragon has helped shape up the world of Viridonia aesthetically, but unlike fans who think Sonic should be little more than Furry DBZ, or IDW making random anime references that don't work, there is some thought put into it, and never at the expense of the Sonic universe's own identity. I think both worlds are very similar in aesthetics anyway, so if I see something in Spyro that makes me think "Wow, that would be so cool to see in Sonic!", I then think of how to translate it in a form that benefits Sonic's world, as opposed to wondering why the square doesn't fit in the round hole.

For the mystic entities that are tied to the Ethereal Zone, since they each have different powers, shapes and colours, I got the idea to base each of them on a different mythological creature for a subtle thematic resonance despite how otherwise different they are from each other. They're not one-to-one like the creatures they're inspired from mind you, they're definitely Sonicy interpretations (eg: the fire-themed one is a mix between a phoenix and a feathered serpent ala Quetzalcoatl, since I wasn't sure if making it a phoenix straight-up would make it sound too similar to Ifrit from Rivals 2), but I thought it'd be a fun twist on the giant monster schtick… though it helps that all of them are controlled via Time Eater-esque cybernetics by a certain round chum. Going out of control? Upstaging Eggman? In a Crusher fic? Not happening, son.

And speaking of the doctor, obviously I've took notes from many of his game portrayals, with S3&K's determination, SA1's dickery, and Forces' cunning being three of the biggest examples. But another influence for my interpretation of the doctor is the Mother 3 portrayal of Porky Minch: specifically, how he is clearly working towards a big end goal, yet is also simultaneously setting up seemingly unrelated projects all over Viridonia, playing its population (save Trudy) for fools, and overall treating the island as though it's his personal playground. This is not a Mephiles situation however: all of this does turn out to play a part in his endgame. He just happened to plan it out in a way that can also feed into his ego and hedonism in the meantime.

And Trudy… is Trudy. There were some mild influences for certain aspects of her design, but her personality pretty much grew upon itself as I built on her. I wanted to create a character that was mellow, but still fun and quirky, and could still bounce off Sonic and Co without being seen as "the boring one" or "the nag who can't be bothered with Sonic". I also find an appeal in shy characters finding the courage to do things they'd never expect themselves to do, so y'know.

There are other bits of inspiration I could mention, which includes concepts that are neither Sonic or Spyro-related… but I don't want to spoil more than necessary for now. XP

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

Note: This is a slightly older draft of the moment in question, so there might be some minor differences in the final one.

Sonic grew concerned by her stunned reaction, hoping that he didn't offend her. "You don't mind it, do you?"

"No, of course not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's just…" Her right hand clutched the fingers of the other, subtly squeezing them in the process. Her vision was directed at a nonspecific pile of red leaves not too far away from them. This all seemed so silly. There was really no justification for this. No excuse for her to treat such a thing with the kind of awe reserved for being within the presence of an omnipotent. And yet…

"No one's… no one's ever given me a nickname before…"

Sonic appeared to be puzzled by this, which was then followed by him exchanging a brief glance with Tails. His lifelong pal simply gave him a shrug in response.

"If it's any consolation," the fox piped up, with a faint hint of a smirk morphing on his face. "Some of his nicknames are better than others."

"Hey!" Sonic playfully raised his arms in defense, which did nothing to hide his sheepish grin. "So what if they can get a little simple! If she doesn't like it, I can totally drop it! If I have to get my head around the right pronunciation of her name, then so be it!"

"No, it's… it's nice," she insisted softly. A gentle smile slowly found itself on her face as well. "It's an honor, truly. You can call me that if you want to."

"You sure?"

A simple, meek nod was what he received, and it was at this point that her eyes shifted once more. After what appeared to be some hesitance, they gained the courage to meet with Sonic's own.

Sonic's eyes held onto their shared gaze for a couple of seconds, before he turned to Tails again. The fox only gave another shrug, this time to suggest that there was no further reason to debate the matter. After a silent understanding between the two heroes, the hedgehog nodded triumphantly.

"Well then," he announced, with a wink for his new friend. "I guess it's truly Trudy from now on!" As he gave a characteristic thumbs up, she could only continue smiling at the display, and her ears lowered ever so slightly. This was all so very sudden for her even now, but if they sincerely value her company and assistance, then maybe... maybe... it wouldn't hurt to keep tagging along with them.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I wouldn't be fussy, since I'd be grateful for any moments, or environments, that they decided to portray.

But if I had to pick one… I suppose a certain confrontation between Trudy and Eggman would be awesome. Or a certain heart-to-heart between Trudy and Sonic. :>

[tortiefrancis]

hey sam!!! praying for you 💖

I've struggled with some similar issues with chronic pain. As a kid the doctors told me it was somatic, and my family just went along with it. But the older I get and the more I read new research online I've found that that untreated/undiagnosed fibromyalgia and other chronic pain seems to be a common problem among a lot of neurodivergent people. It's possible that you are having unexplained pain because your nervous system is overwhelmed, and/or because you are more prone to inflammation, and/or because you have naturally loose or tight joints (Hypermobility). These are all things common among neurodivergent people for some reason.

In my opinion, one of the best things you can is to manage stress / take care of your body as well as you can, involving stretch/mobility exercises like Yoga or Pilates. Yoga is amazing and is the best thing that's ever helped my pain, I've never tried Pilates but I'm sure it's great and I'm so glad you are already doing that!

Of course I am not a doctor, and if you can it may be good to get stuff checked out again just in case they missed something. If you can, maybe try to research doctors you can go to who specialize in functional medicine or something more holistic who are more willing to look for the root causes of your pain/issues. You have to be careful though since some doctors in functional medicine or doctors of osteopathy (D.O.) might be into weird stuff that isn't actually proven by science and are just trying to sell you stuff. But if there is anyone at a local hospital system with a good reputation who specializes in something more along those lines they might be good to look into.

I know for me I probably would have a lot more pain if not for a couple doctors finally realizing I had some hormonal issues that needed to be treated before I could begin to address other pain. Endocrinologists would be the ones to talk to if you think there might be an issue with hormones. There could be other genetic factors at play as well, which is why it's probably good to get a second opinion.

Hi, thank you so much for your response, this means a lot.

First I'd like to say I've started doing pilates for about 2 years now I think for that exact reason. It's actually helped alleviate some extra pain immensely because, due to the chronic pain, I couldn't exercise, and so my muscles were weak and aching a lot. It's improved my life a lot and is also what's been making me want to seek a doctor for the second time

Secondly, I sadly don't have much of a choice on the doctor for now, but she's a rheumatologist that my mom knows well and seems very serious and well researched, so we'll see. Maybe if this goes well I can go to another one to see a different approach to my issues

Also, I'm not scratching out the idea of it being somatic, but I think it's weird that ive been feeling this way for over 3 years now and also I have pain even when I'm happy or overall good. I don't think I'd be having it if it was caused by my anxiety or whatever. But we'll see

Also, I have hormonal issues, mainly endometriosis and maybe some funky stuff with testosterone or whatever, but nothing too conclusive on test results that could explain this.

Thanks again! This was genuinely a great ask and I'm so grateful

[chicago-geniza]

One thing I am noticing, I think, since the HRT discontinuation/forced topiramate taper catapulted me into a state I would classify as "in extremis" (though it's a controlled burn now, thankfully)--am noticing even re: the songs I wrote at 13, at 14. My first real, "feral" psychotic episode--Christine McVie's death reminded me, because it was linked to a Fleetwood Mac album in my mind, to another song, to my first 72-hour marathon to "burn it off." To outrun it? Or stay in a state of watchful-wakeful consciousness, don't lapse into inadequately vigilant sleep where you can be tracked, shortcut-sloppy, uncareful, indolent? I think the tl;dr is--

Even at 12, at 13. For a math journal prompt I devised a new gematria based on the Vermont DMV license plate allocation algorithm to calculate soulmates, based on [heavy sigh] the "obscure object of desire" girl I had a crush on, her boyfriend, her cousin/best friend, and her boyfriend's best friend, who was a local indie musician, a one-man band. They were a lot older than me, or seemed a lot older--I think 17, 18 when I was about 12--but our school was really small and like a yurt in the woods, so extracurricular activities were always integrated across age groups. They treated me tolerantly, kindly, recommended music, accepted me as a tagalong kid sibling. But basically I didn't understand how their group dynamics worked, and the girls in my grade were pulling a "Carrie" and trying to trick me into believing things that weren't true, inviting me to fake birthday parties or social events so I'd show up at designated locations and nobody would be there, telling me my crush like-liked me and sending me carnations in her name on Valentine's Day in hopes I'd publicly humiliate myself, that sort of thing (thankfully didn't fall for it). I couldn't tell what the "bigger picture" was, just that 1) there was a joke, 2) I wasn't in on it, 3) I was the butt of it. This culminated in me being set up and framed for drug dealing, having drugs planted in my locker, and nearly getting expelled and arrested. But I got really really crazy about Scrying the Patterns & Dynamics behind Social Groups & Cliques etc.

Similar thing happened in early high school, won't go into it because it's embarrassing, literally "anthropologist on Mars" shit.

In Russian summer school, when I got abruptly taken off my anticonvulsants, basically everyone was--not conspiring, but consciously excluding me from collective social life all summer. I started going crazy in part because I sensed something was "off" but couldn't tell what it was and everyone denied it but nobody would talk to me; I was anathema for some reason. I got really fixated on Mädchen in Uniform, the film and the novel, and projected the plot onto...summer Russian school. Everyone was in on the simulation but me; iirc I was the girl who carved "EvB" into her arm. The only way to break out of the simulation and make myself a real person again was to prove how all European languages were related to each other, which I was doing through...the North & South Saami numerals, Finno-Ugric roots. I had been up for two days filling four walls of whiteboards and someone took me to the doctor who yelled until they cut my anticonvulsants down to $70 a month.

But I love that when I get "we will put you in Brain Jail" psychotic it's just. Autism spinning wheels faster and faster like. If we do enough Math and Linguistics we will Solve Social Interaction Once & For All. Sorry Baby :(

[seimsisk]

this isn't even about being lazy ass. think, if you could turn one little piece of earth into a socialist utopia in which automation actually results in people working less, what could these people do? well, first, rest, have better health, better mental health, sure, have fun, make art, raise children who are loved, etc. But also. With all that free time, we could also look around and go fix whatever problems you see.

Look, there's a polluted river flowing near my house. With enough free time and/or money, I could organize a group to fix it. Remove the trash, find the sources of pollution, plant stabilizing vegetation in the margins. If everyone around me had free time, we could all work together to fix it, and then move onto the next thing. My neighbours down the street are trying to fix an old abandoned football field, but they only have a couple hours a week to work on it. If they didn't have to work so much, this field would already be operational and there would be a place for the neighbourhood to gather. A few kilometers over there's a bridge that has been overgrown during the pandemic and is probably rotting. We could fix it. There's another bridge that has nearly fallen a couple of times and every time it closes down, the school buses can't cross it and kids have to walk over an hour to get to school. We. Could. Fix. It.

All the labour that could be freed up by some universal welfare and ubi could be redirected to actually improving the world. Like, my country has a real problem with a lack of maintenance of public services and spaces that We Could Fix. If we weren't forced into so many bullshit jobs. If we could redirect funding from mega corporations to anything useful. We could make it better!

And if people in one country had actual free time and a decent life, we could go further. We could take in refugees and actually have people to help them settle in. Open up space for their culture to thrive. We could manually plant forests to combat deforestation. We could share science and art and hope. We could send aid, food and medicine, maybe a chance to escape bad situations. We could stop exploiting them, at the very least. Because tbh I started this rant thinking how we can help our neighbours but midway it started sounding very "I wanna be a white saviour" and I realize that's because the problem is global and not local. Locally, we know what the problems are. We see them. We might disagree about how to solve them, but we see them. The accidents, the decay, the poverty, the violence. But on a larger scale, knowing what the problems actually are is not so easy. But maybe, if we didn't have to fight so much for the right to live, if we didn't have to beg for scraps all the time, we could also invest that energy into Learning. We could learn how to make it better.

I have so much faith in us, so much faith in our common desire to be good, to do good, to Make Things Better. The only issue is political. It's all politics on every level. Because some people believe the only way for them to get ahead is to step on others, but also because so many people believe that some people are inherently bad. And so many people are unwilling to consider that others might have a point. But once we start working together, we can solve it. We can fix it all. We just need a little free time, and a little bit of trust in each other. We just need to not be starving for basic needs all the time.

I don't believe in lazyness. I have full trust that the doctor above would still work a lot even if he didn't need it. Maybe he wouldn't overwork himself, maybe he wouldn't work so many hours that his judgement is impaired, maybe he would take breaks and vacations more often. But also maybe he would go out of his way to treat people who don't have the means to seek treatment. Maybe he would go after people who are abandoned by the system. Maybe he would take the time to treat each patient with care. Maybe he would teach medicine to more doctors and make sure that the ER is never understaffed. Maybe he would rewrite reports detailing in what areas the ER needs to be improved, what equipment is missing, what specialties are lacking, what kinds of patients get less than ideal care. I have absolute faith that people will do a better job if they are allowed to work because they want to, rather than because they need to.

Maybe that's too idealistic but come on. We all know someone who is like that. Who does their best job doing what they love. Just look at hobbyists and artists. People work themselves to the bone for no material gain all the time. Lazyness doesn't exist.

[euronoxxmedicalgroup]

Don't forget to decide whether or not to undergo breast screening for early diagnosis!

It's important to have all the information you need when making decisions about your health, and breast screening is no exception.

This leaflet aims to help you decide whether or not to have breast screening, because it's ultimately your choice.

So, why does the NHS offer breast screening?

The main goal is to save lives from breast cancer. By detecting breast cancers at an early stage, screening can find tumours that are too small to see or feel.

However, it's important to note that screening doesn't prevent breast cancer from occurring. Like any medical procedure, breast screening does come with some risks.

Some women who have screening may end up being diagnosed and treated for breast cancer that would never have been found or caused them harm otherwise.

Now, you might be wondering why you've been invited for breast screening. Well, if you're a woman aged 50 to 70, the NHS invites you for screening every three years.

However, there are also studies being conducted to assess the effectiveness of screening in different age groups, so some older and younger women may also receive invitations.

It's worth mentioning that even if you're over 70, you're still at risk of breast cancer.

Although you won't automatically get screening invitations after the age of 70, you can still have breast screening every three years. Just reach out to your local breast screening unit and ask for an appointment.

Let's show you some stories of famous British women's breast cancer journey!

Let's take a moment to remember some famous women who have had experiences with breast cancer.

Maggie Smith!

Maggie Smith is known for her fabulous act in some famous movies. A talented British actress we all know and love was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 73.

She received chemotherapy while filming Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It's incredible to see how she tackled her treatment and continued to pursue her passion.

Carly Simon!

Carly Simon, the renowned singer-songwriter, had a successful surgery in 1997 to remove a stage I tumour.

Her doctor gave her the choice of whether or not to have chemotherapy, and she decided to go for it just to be safe. Simon later revealed that she was going through a deep depression during that time.

However, she has since written a New York Times best-selling memoir and continues to create music with her children. It's heartwarming to see how she used her experience to inspire others.

Teresa Heinz Kerry!

Teresa Heinz Kerry, a philanthropist and the wife of the former presidential nominee who became Secretary of State John Kerry, had a rare case of breast cancer in both breasts.

Not only that, but she also had different types of early-stage cancer in each breast. This meant that the treatment and chances of cancer-free survival depended on the more aggressive tumours. Kerry underwent lumpectomies and radiation therapy (as mastectomy) for her treatment.

Jaclyn Smith!

Lastly, another example is Jaclyn Smith, a well-known actor, entrepreneur, and mother of two. When her doctor wanted to take a biopsy of her left breast tissue, Smith was too busy and felt too healthy to worry.

However, when she received the news that it was cancerous, she was shocked. Today, she advises women in similar situations to have a family member or friend with them to help process the medical information.

Remember, it's your choice whether to have breast screening or not. Ultimately, what matters most is that you feel informed and empowered to make the decision that's right for you and your health.

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Breast Cancer 2024 Live Conference!

To further promote awareness and education around breast cancer prevention, early detection, and management, a groundbreaking conference titled "Breast Cancer 2024" is set to take place.

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This innovative program welcomes GMC registered doctors, NMC registered nurses, and final-year medical students, providing a unique platform for learning and collaboration.

The conference will cover a range of topics, including primary prevention of breast cancer, secondary prevention strategies, and advancements in breast cancer treatment.

We Shed Light on early breast cancer detection awareness!

One of the conference's highlights is the discussion on early breast cancer detection using the Koning Breast 3D imaging procedure. This advanced medical equipment offers a more comprehensive and accurate method for detecting breast abnormalities, leading to better outcomes for patients.

Featuring a lineup of esteemed speakers, including Dr. Penny Kechagioglou, Dr. Qaiser Malik, Dr. Sarah Sadrudin, Ms. Jalini Varghese, and Professor Kefah Mokbel, the conference promises to deliver insights into the latest research, best practices, and patient experiences in breast cancer screening and treatment.

For those unable to attend in person, the conference will be live-streamed globally, allowing participants from all over the world to engage with the content in real-time.

This inclusive approach aims to ensure that individuals with a special interest in breast cancer, including those with a family history of the disease, can access valuable information and resources.

Join us on Saturday, September 7, 2024, at the Royal Society of Medicine in London for an enriching and informative conference on breast cancer prevention and management.

Be part of this transformative journey in reclaiming control over your breast health and well-being, followed by early detection of breast screening procedures.

Don't miss the opportunity to secure your spot and contribute to this vital initiative.

To learn more and register, visit euronoxxmedical.com today. Let's unite in the fight against breast cancer and pave the way for a healthier future together!

[houndsofbalthazar]

5. TV show of the year? 9. Best month for you this year? 19. What’re you excited about for next year?

Good evening toasthaste! Thank you for playing this little ask game with me :)

TV Show of the Year I watch a lot of middling films and TV so it can be hard to remember what I watched. Taskmaster continues to be the best comedy show on television and I really enjoyed the most recent series (serieses? I think they do two a year) as well as the New Zealand version which I watched this year too. This is also the year I got back into Doctor Who after having not watched it since the start of Capaldi's run the best part of a decade ago. I'm a bit surprised at myself really, didn't have it on my bingo card for 2023, and I'm excited for Ncuti Gatwa's series. HOWEVER there is one standout that absolutely takes the prize, I'm on record as saying it may be my favourite TV show ever, and that's Poker Face. What a treat of a show! I only found out about it because John Darnielle (of the Mountain Goats) is in an episode since he's friends with Rian Johnson and I am so glad he was in it because it got me curious enough to watch an absolutely fantastic series. It's a "howcatchem" in the style of Columbo about a drifter played by Natasha Lyonne with an uncanny ability to tell if people are lying. Adrien Brody's in the first episode and he has such an amazing knack for playing sleazebags, I loved him in it. I cannot stress how much the following is extremely strong praise: I really hope they don't make another series.

Best Month of the Year Actually I mentioned having trouble remembering what I watched, I think it's really just remembering what I did that I struggle with. Hard to remember many things. I suppose the big highlights are going to just be the tournaments I ran and attended. The local wargame con in February is always a treat, March saw me host my first Kill Team tournament, October had my run my second. Possibly one of those? It's hard because I don't really do much in any given month because of all the brain and body problems, and also I forget the minor stuff.

What am I looking forward to most next year? Gonna be a bit one-note here, but I'm looking forward to the next installment of the local wargames con. I really don't have much planned in the future other than that though, it's a question of seeing what happens really, and what I can manage to do with myself.