#but i do want 2 at least get snows of change completed before the end of the yr!!!

[jaaankiey]

a thought for you:

leafy in shadowclan

if u don't mind anon, i'd love to hear ur reasoning for this jkdvnakjdvnda!!

personally, i always thought of leafy being in thunderclan mostly because both leafy and thunderclan really have those "main character" vibes. also thunderclan has trees with leaves while shadowclan stuck with crummy pines (/j),

though i will drop that in the "battle for warriors" series, its not like there's any rhyme or reason where an object might drop. bottle in riverclan and snowball in windclan were done because i thought it would be funny 💔💔💔

[thedoodlenoodle14]

Ok sooo...a cool person ( @regretfullyrave ), convinced me to create a post about a few of my OCs for my future murder drones AU called "It lives on Ebony 8" and welll.....here it is! XD

I'll also first say that my AU takes place on a completely different Exoplanet called Ebony 8 (which instead of being ice and snow is mostly just forest and rivers, no oceans tho, unfortunately), but still used to be inhabited by humans before the disassembly drones attacked 😅

But, here's a list of my MD OCs! :3 or at least, the OC's I think are most important XD

1. Xane- Grumpy boi Xane! XD Before he was sent to earth, he, as well as two other disassembly drone ocs, Beta and Green, had a virus implanted within them which became known as "The Dark Matter infection" (which sort of gave Cyn an easy access to, not take them as hosts, but use them as puppets instead). Although Xane loves to fight, he hates to fight when controlled by Cyn and wishes to find a cure.

Other than that, Xane may seem pretty threatening, but deep down he's a big softie (he won't admit it tho XD)

2. Eric- Eric is my worker drone oc, and possibly the main character of my AU 👀 his parents once studied the disassembly drones and the The Dark Matter infection and after their death, Eric continued their work, but also befriended Xane and helps to find a cure for him.

Eric is smart, but not a very good fighter XD but he's kind and willing to give second chances. He finds disassembly drones way more fascinating than scary too lol

3. Green - (creative name, I know TvT) Just like Xane, Green also has the Dark Matter infection. When she landed on Ebony 8, she took a lot of damage. Her weapon system was damaged beyond repair, leaving her somewhat defenceless. However, without her weapon system, she couldn't easily overheat, meaning she didn't have a need to kill worker drones for oil. She actually ended up befriending a worker drone colony and becoming sort of a protector of them. Green is pretty chill and laid back tho and not overly dramatic like Xane XD

4. Beta - Once again, he has the Dark Matter infection too 😅 he's still a character I'm developing, but from what I can say, he's a pretty jumpy and paranoid dude and always nervous. And his best friend is a cat called Milo! :3 (Beta is a major cat person XD)

(I don't have an updated design for him yet 😅)

5. M - M is the leader of one of the disassembly drone squads (Xane's ex-squad too). She...uh...also killed Eric's parents...heh....😅 M is also kind of in love with Xane (despite Xane not feeling the same way at all XD), but M is pretty much a psychopath. However, I do want to continue developing her and perhaps giving her some motivations to her actions. Like...I know M is pretty evil...but I do believe she might be capable of change somehow.....just gotta keep developing her character 😅

(I also don't have an image for her yet XD)

6. Cortex - one of my newer Ocs, who was originally a worker drone, but I changed him to a disassembly drone instead XD He's M's twin brother, but I haven't developed a solid backstory or personality for this character yet. All I can say I that...he's not at crazy as M 😅 I'm still also trying to decide whether he would be a villain or not, but I have been thinking of giving him a similar role to J in some way.

As an added bonus, here's a little concept of Cortex when he was still a worker drone in development 👀

But yea...those are just the OCs that I think are pretty important in my AU so far :D they're all a work in progress and will probably change over time (except Xane, of course) :3

Also, go follow @regretfullyrave. They're cool! :3 And I also don't wanna get charged for tax evasion by W lmao

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

My thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie

I don’t know if I liked it as much as the original films (maybe Mockingjay 1 & 2 as they are pretty emotionally draining), but I still enjoyed it.

I think where it fell a little flat for me is 1. The beginning was a bit slow (tbh I only really started getting interested when Lucy Gray stuck that snake down that girl’s dress & even then I enjoyed the story more when the setting changed from the Capitol to the district) 2. I knew Snow would survive 3. I’d already been spoiled online for a lot of stuff that happens & 4. while I know the director did his best to make Snow as “likeable” as he could for as long as possible, even before he started getting “a little too comfortable” with killing & snitching I didn’t find him as sympathetic as Katniss or Peeta (but that is probably again down to the fact that I know what he goes onto do & there’s no real way around that), this made engaging with him difficult for me.

The world is fascinating. Getting to see all the new locations we never had access to before as well as old locations now in a totally different light (for example district 12 which, while still clearly suffering, seemed like such a bustling industrial town compared to how it is in Katniss’s time). It might have a much more retro aesthetic but there's also just a more vibrant, natural, wild & lawless atmosphere to this movie compared to the others in the franchise. The whole scope of the film just felt more cinematic then I remember the others being yet also weirdly intimate. Maybe because it was one contained story & we knew the main character’s fate from the start. I also loved the title cards signifying the start of each section of the story like from the books & wished they'd done something similar for the other films. It just added a certain flair to the whole thing. Almost gave it the vibe of a tragic play.

The costuming was great. The bright red of the academy uniforms.  Flickerman’s snazzy suits. Snow’s dapper black & white outfit. Both peace keeper uniforms (despite one of them giving very ‘1930’s Germany�� vibes) looked great. Grandma might have been a bigot, but at least she was well dressed. Everything Dr Gaul wore (except the top that looked like a used tampon, lol) was exquisite. The main ladies of fashion, Tigris & Lucy Gray slayed. Our Future Capitol stylist looked like some regal yet exotic bird & Miss Survivor was giving Bohemian, country girl realness the entire time she was on screen. Even the extras were serving (like that random couple Snow walked past on his way to the reaping ceremony).

The music was amazing. Every song that played was fantastic (shout out to Olivia for her end credit contribution). The lyrics & instrumentation were beautiful & my god does Rachel Zegler have pipes! Anyone who says the singing scenes are cringy is just stupid like I’m sorry you can’t appreciate art. Also, the words ‘ballad’ & ‘songbirds’ are literally in the title. Plus, Lucy Gray is from the poorest district, so what exactly do those people want her to do in her free time? She can’t exactly hop on an X-box for a few hours. Not too mention that (as the offspring of someone who’s musically inclined) I can tell you, it’s completely realistic for a musician to use their craft to help them deal with trauma & Lucy Gray clearly had more than her fair share of that.

The Grandma'am helped to paint a sadly very realistic background for Snow. As who among us hasn’t met at least one delusional old person who thinks that their/their group’s suffering (regardless of the severity of it or the reason behind their former/newer status in society) means that no one else are deserving of even the tiniest shred of humanity & there are some people who are unlucky enough to not only be related to these people but be raised by them.

Hunter schafer as Tigris is clearly the superior Snow when it comes to things like empathy & overall mental stability but I do kind of wish they’d been more for her to do. Credit where credit is due though her & Tom did actually look like they could be related & I did buy their familial bond (which makes her appearance in Mockingjay so much sadder in hindsight).

Peter Dinklage as Casca Highbottom was a bit of a mix for me just due to his purpose as a character & the limit of film as a form of media. Like sure the audience know that Snow’s going to become an irredeemable monster in the end but without a window into his mind it really does just seem like the Dean is just out to get him & even when we find out why it seems kind of unfair. Like sure his dad sucked but haven’t the Games shown that blaming children for violence caused by others is unjust (& like ok he hates Coriolanus & probably the grandma but Tigris hadn’t done anything to deserve living in poverty, as she can’t control who she’s related to)? Plus, it felt like he could have at least tried taking Snow under his wing at some point to try to hinder Dr Gual’s influence. Saying all of that, though, Peter Dinklage is great at playing an addict with depression & the idea that some drunken rambling could lead to such long-lasting suffering is terrifying. Also its pretty realistic that living with that kind of guilt & in such a cruel environment for that long would make most people jaded & bitter, even if they did have good intentions.

Omg we finally get a Mayor family on screen & they’re assholes! Madge would be so disappointed 😭. It was interesting to see how harsh & overall “boot licky” the mayor & his family seemed compared to decades later, which makes sense as the war wasn’t that long ago for them so the dad probably felt more incentive to align himself with the Capitol as well as not feeling very connected to the district people as 12’s decline probably didn’t fully set in until they really started running low on coal & Snow became president (oh I just know he wanted to blow that district off the map 😆). I also wouldn’t put it past Billy to come up with some sob story of how he really does love Mayfair but wicked Lucy Gray is somehow preventing them from being together. Still no excuse to try to send her to her death twice in one week, though. Definitely not a girl’s girl.

Ok, so a liar. Cheat. Drunk & someone who hits women. Is there anything good about Billy Taupe? Also, trying to get your ex back, while your current girlfriend is literally standing right next to you? Dude, have some god damn back bone! You made a choice, now stick to it. Also, fumbling Lucy Gray, for a girl like that? What’s it like having no brains or taste? Well, too bad, coz you’re stuck with her forever now, lol.

Viola Davies, the actress that you are. What else is there to say? Dr Gaul is almost comic book levels of insane. Like she is how the Right see women in STEM, on crack! I don’t know what she did to get into character, but whatever it was, it worked.

Jason Schwartzman as Lucretius Flickerman is a very interesting addition to the story despite playing such a small & seemingly insignificant role. He is strange in how unthreatening he is while also extremely blasé about the abhorrent violence he witnesses that it’s as funny as it is disturbing. Making him come across as  more human yet harsher than his son, who at least pretends to care about the tributes (in a very Capitol way, obviously but still). There’s also a polish & confidence to Tucci’s performance that I think Schwartzman did a great job of avoiding copying (despite knowing what audiences were probably expecting) because not only are their characters in entirely different stages of their careers but the whole ethos of the Hunger Games is different in Snow’s youth than it is in Katniss’s. Caesar is a well established presenter & during his time, the games have always been a success (minus the year with the tundra) that the entire Capitol is invested in & seemingly in support of. On the other hand Lucretius had the unique task of not only coming into a job like this with zero experience (I mean imagine going from announcing the weather to presenting the fucking hunger games) but also there were no vibes to try to emulate let alone guidelines to follow because he truly was the first person to do this. On top of that, the "event" his presenting has been panned for years as both boring & unethical. Schwartzman brought a slightly awkward, experimental, yet try hard vibe (like a comedian who's desperate to get a laugh) that I think worked wonderfully for the character.

Tom Blyth's performance was great & he was visually perfect for a young Snow (the power of a good wig! Who knew lol). Even having the cool, analytical stare of Donald Sutherland, down pat. While his appearance was very Eminem during his peacekeeping days, his realisation in the cabin and subsequent breakdown in the woods were crazy. There was so much tension between him & Rachel in that scene that for a second, it literally felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I could almost hear the record scratch for both of them, & all that building paranoia finally coming to a sudden crescendo in the way that it did? Pure cinema!

Josh Rivera, as Sejanus, was honestly a mix for me. Obviously, I agree with his morals, but his way of going about it did seem a little dumb. However I do think it’s pretty realistic that a teenager, especially a rich one, would be rather naive. Also I’ve heard that he’s smarter in the book & I think at times my frustration with him is more just down to the fact that I’m seeing him from Snow’s point of view. Meaning scenes that would be portrayed as noble in any other film instead come across as almost painfully inconvenient because the focus is always on how they affect Snow rather than the actual victims of the situation. Lastly, sorry, Snowjanus shippers, I just don’t see it (especially on Snow’s end), but whatever floats your boat.

Rachel Zegler played Lucy Gray with the perfect mix of natural charm & emotional vulnerability with clear pride in her culture & a refusal to let the world around her change who she is. Yet there was also an air of mystery & a subtle resilience to her that makes her potentially surviving out in the woods for years without being detected actually believable (though I don’t buy the theory that she went on to become president Coin). Definitely the highlight of the movie for me.

PS. I'd love to know what you think of my review in the comments/tags & am open to criticism (as long as it's respectful) just remember that I'm only talking about the movie so please don't reference anything spersific to the book.

[ancenth]

Prism family Such Colorful Lives Legacy!

I'm gonna put this under a cut because it's long, but basically since I'm starting posting my SCL legacy on gen 7 (accidentally wrote 6 on the poll whoops) Sadly no screenshots since I wasn't really taking pictures since I was just playing on my laptop :')

I found the rules here, and tweaked it however I felt like for my own play through, which I'll get into below

Gen 1 — Rosa 🌹

The founder of the legacy! She had a very standard generation where she completed all required tasks, got married and had kids, and didn't do much else. She married Darrel Charm, and had twin spellcaster babies; Clementine and Nova. Lived in San Myshuno for this gen.

Gen 2 — Clementine 🍊

I love and adore her and she's actually still kicking around the save! She's a highest rank spellcaster who took a potion of immortality to be with her vampire wife (Evie Delgato) forever :) (and also because I get extremely attached to my gen 2 heirs and I didn't want her to die). She completed the snow globe collection as a teenager before moving to Del Sol Valley. She had her first two kids, Sol (Granddaughter of Makoa and Lilliana), and Amber (daughter of Kiyoshi) who were both spellcasters, before marrying her wife, Evie, and eventually having a little vampire baby named Alba :)

Gen 3 — Sol ☀️

This was the first generation where I started to change the generational goals; namely I'd done the politician career 10000x so I swapped it out for the Law career, in the judge branch, which then had me swap to max research and debate instead of charisma. I also swapped the "donate to every charity" rule to a "volunteer every Saturday with the whole family" rule. She married Aurelio Robles, lived in San Sequoia, and had one daughter, Ivy.

Gen 4 — Ivy 🌿

I did a TOOOONNN of the kid stuff from growing together with Ivy, which was really fun! I think I did almost all of the kid aspirations with her?? Her generation did follow the actual challenge goals. Her ex-wife was Daniela Banuelos, a random townie who cheated on her with some guy named Troy, and had a kid named Dana. Ivy and Daniela had twins, River and Lake. I think her house was my favorite; she lived in this renovated cottage in Henford-on-Bagley that she built up over time and had a giant garden :)

Gen 5 — Lake 🐟

Also followed the actual goals of the generation for her! She married a mermaid. I forgot to mention that every single heir since Clementine has been a spellcaster lol. Lake ended up having 3 kids because for some reason her, Ivy, and Sol all have essentially the same face, so I kept trying until the game finally gave me someone who se genetics actually show the other parent. So first there was Violet, a spellcaster who married her high school sweetheart and immediately had triplets, and then a fourth child for good measure. After Violet was Lilac, also a spellcaster! And finally came our heir, Lavender, who broke the spellcaster streak and is a mermaid!

Gen 6 — Lavender 🪻

This gen was weird for me because I got super used to having spells like scrubberoo and delicioso, and now all I could do was make it thunder sometimes. I also changed this one up, since I've done a bunch of the original goals a bunch! The aspiration was swapped to Strangerville Mystery, career to Military, and swapped the bookworm trait for Adventurous. I still had her marry a scientist (who she met in Strangerville), and still get abducted and impregnated by aliens! Maybe it was a little cruel of me to make a mermaid live in Strangerville but I gave her a lil pool at least.

And then I'll be posting gen 7! I'll make a separate post introducing the family and generation goals (they are completely overhauled from the legacy rules). The gen 7 heir is starting in high school, because I guess Lavender was just too productive and got things done really fast.

[batrogers]

Listing this just because, Weirdest self-imposed challenge runs I've done for BOTW and TOTK:

1. Main Memories Only (BOTW)

I think this was my first one I ever did; I had the weird niche idea of, do you get the bonus credits scene if you get ONLY the memories in the slate?

This, incidentally, meant that -- after not playing video games for 20 years (eg. N64 era) a Switch was my first ever console I personally owned and BOTW my first game -- I set myself a challenge run in which I had to do the boss gauntlet of BOTW...

...without the Master Sword.

(Incidentally, yes you do get the bonus scene which is really funny bc it definitley implies you freed the DIvine Beasts and I most certainly did NOT.)

[Below: "No Status Effects", "Weaponless", "4 Heart Run"]

2. No Status Effects (BOTW & TOTK)

Status effects here were defined as attack/defence up & weather effects. I also cut out gloom-resistance & sunny foods in TOTK, and banned upgrading the glide set to set-bonus level. Movement effects (which I generally don't use anyways) were fine in TOTK, I don't remember for BOTW. Weapon-and-environment-based weather bonuses were permitted, but the weapon ones only ever give first-level defence.

This was significantly harder in BOTW than in TOTK. In TOTK, Sidon's ability negates entirely the environmental dangers of Death Mountain and Gerudo Desert, with a level-two protection and thirty second duration. The ability to throw items is also helpful: I struggled a lot with trying to drop chu jelly and hit it *before* it turned into a firebomb instead in BOTW.

You also, incidentally, can't use any abilities while actively on fire. This made the drones up Death Mountain in BOTW a serious problem, and I am very glad I had ancient arrows to deal with them because I could NOT magnesis them instead.

In TOTK, the hardest section was the end parts of the Rito quest (level two cold), and cold damage is pretty slow. I don't think I'd bother doing that one again, but I might repeat BOTW for kicks.

3. Weaponless (BOTW & TOTK)

Absolutely the FUCKING best of them all, highly recommend if you really want a challenge. I did NOT do Master Mode in BOTW, because I needed to be able to kill bokoblins and -- guess what you can't get in BOTW if you pick up *no* melee weapons, no bows, and no shields?

That's right. You can't repair the Sheikah Slate. At all. Which means: no camera, no upgrades. It also blocks you from completing the second Kakariko Shrine (you need to finish the great fairy picture quest to start that!) and from getting the snow and sand boots (Bozai doesn't even appear until you get the camera fixed.)

IIRC I could complete 70 shrines or so, and couldn't even pull a few from the ground at all. I also could not complete a single region, because every single one required you to at least have something in your inventory, and I did not do that -- because, if you never picked up a melee weapon, bow, or shield, Link's shirtless model never acquires a baldric which had some... fascinating results LOL.

However, it's been interesting how the game changes between BOTW and TOTK doing the same thing. in BOTW, you have unlimited remote bombs. They're not very strong but they are consistent and endless and fairly safe to use. In TOTK, however, it becomes not just a resource management game but a game of risk and reward. You can't do three of the six dungeons (you need a bow for both Gerudo and Zora quests, and you need to complete all four regions to crack the castle) but you can get Mineru if you permit Zonai device use. (Which I despise using, so that's self-limiting for me.)

The other thing that changes is that the bosses that require serious damage done become a mix of attrition and risk management. If you're willing to acquire the lightning helm and Zant's helmet, you can use sapphires and topaz with impugnity.... but breaking rocks and killing talus are resource intensive tasks in themselves. It took me 15-30 bombs to down a single overworld boss. It took *ten minutes* to kill Marbled Gohma.

And if you use a gemstone and aren't immune, those things take out 20 hearts a pop if you're caught in splash damage.

But I could also complete all but 12 shrines in TOTK without melee weapons, which I think speaks to how broad the problem solving options are. The two games function completely differently because of the different base mechanics, and it was an absolute delight.

4. Four-Heart Run, no Fairies, no Armour Upgrades (BOTW & TOTK [just started])

This was not done as a speedrun, this was a Master Mode, I'm bored let's see how long before I get tired of dying. (I did not.) This is likely to be how tears goes too, although I can be iffy about holding onto fairies or not LOL. I usualy am not very strict, but I enjoy the challenge.

IIRC I left off the BOTW run at being unable to beat Maz Koshia (I'd finidhed everything else, including Calamity Ganon.) I imagine TOTK will be similar, once I decide how to handle the Master Sword and/or Mineru question. I only just finished weaponless, so here's to hoping!

[silverfoxstole]

Not been tagged; pinched from @sanguinarysanguinity

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Forty-eight. But I have a lot more fic on other archives, such as Ff.net and a Teaspoon and an Open Mind.

2. What's your total AO3 wordcount?

1,075,804

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I don’t write for all of them at the same time, but I have over the years written fic for Doctor Who, Hornblower, Sherlock Holmes and Phantom of the Opera.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shafts of Light (160, Phantom of the Opera)

TLC (106, Doctor Who)

Despatches (100, Hornblower)

Blood on the Snow (99, Phantom of the Opera)

Here Comes The Rain Again (91, Phantom of the Opera)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes; if someone has taken the time to comment it’s only polite to acknowledge it, though sometimes it takes me a while to work out what to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Possibly Hello, Goodbye. The Eighth Doctor briefly escapes the Time War when the TARDIS leaves him in San Francisco with Grace, but they both know he has to go back.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Define a happy ending. A lot of my stuff is missing scenes and what ifs; I tend to leave things hanging on an upbeat note or with a lead-in to something else.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far, thank goodness.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Suggestiveness on occasion, but nothing more.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Sometimes, though I don’t think I’ve ever written one I’d call crazy. I’ve crossed Doctor Who with Hornblower a couple of times for logical reasons (Paul McGann having been in both), and also with Sherlock Holmes, Ashes to Ashes and Phantom of the Opera. Let’s face it, you can cross Doctor Who with anything! I did once have Sherlock Holmes turn up in Sarah’s attic in The Sarah Jane Adventures as well.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I’m aware, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Never. I’m honestly not sure I could work with someone else.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I don’t have one.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have what I’d call WIPs that I work on for a long time as I invariably finish one thing before I start the next. I’ve got a lot of odd scenes and aborted drafts but that’s all they are; they’re unlikely to ever be worked into anything more as I’ve either run out of steam or changed tack completely.

16. What are your writing strengths?

A good grasp of grammar so I’m told, dialogue, and also apparently a decent ear for voices.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Repetition of the same phrases from one fic to another, the occasional tortuous sentence and I do lack the desire to take risks. Also plotting; I usually only have a vague idea of where I’m going and rarely write anything down so when I write longer fic I’m always flying by the seat of my pants.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to avoid it if I can as it would involve using Google translate and that’s never a good idea.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who, online at least. And I’m still doing it 20 years later!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I honestly don’t think I could choose. It varies all the time.

[once-in-a-blue-moon-rising]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged in this by the lovely and wonderful @themirokai. It's taken me a while to get to it, but here we are today.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

293,965 - respectable, I think. An average of 24,497 words per work.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sherlock, Good Omens, James Bond, La Casa de Papel/Money Heist. I'm by far the most prolific for Sherlock. Would like to do some more LCDP one day, maybe even in Spanish. And I feel some Bridgerton (specifically Kanthony) might be inevitable one day.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When It Rains - aka my completed Mystrade epic, 98,000+ words.

A Christmas Thief - my LCDP Raquel/Sergio advent calendar, based on the Netflix A Christmas Prince film. It is SILLY (affectionate). (41,000+ words)

Major Revisions - an enemies-to-lovers, academia AU for my eternal faves (it's Mystrade). Lots of silly Christmassy tropes here too. (27,000+ words)

A Series of Unfortunate Interruptions - Good Omens this time, wherein our favourite angel/demon duo cannot find a single moment alone to do some confessing and/or kissing. (8000+ words)

Plan Normandy - my LCDP fix-it, where the gang escape the Bank of Spain together, and have to decide what it is they're going to do next. (19,000+ words)

Note: all these fics are complete!!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do! I don't always get to them immediately, particularly when real life is busy, but I will get back to everyone, at some point. And I always read them, and appreciate them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

By an absolute country mile, it's Ashes, from my old FF.net account. Because that site doesn't have AO3's comprehensive tagging, let me add the warnings here: major character death, graphic drug use.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think A Christmas Thief/Major Revisions/Plan Normandy are all pretty soppy by the end. But most of my recent fics have happy endings, even if I enjoy the anguish in the middle.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't. I got one kind of negative comment in a bookmark, but I understand that wasn't meant for me and, after I'd got over the initial upset, I realised they weren't actually wrong anyway.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally, as part of longer stories. It's usually not particularly graphic - the longest and most detailed is Chapter 5 of Fire Dancing with Snow, if you want to get an idea.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not yet! Maybe one day.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't, I don't think.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also no: I think I could, if we agreed the overall plot together and then wrote sections solo (and gave feedback). But I couldn't sit down with someone and discuss a fic line by line.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It had to be Mystrade. I'm not always fixated on them, the fixation ebbs and flows, but they are the ship that has endured longest in my mind.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't think there's a fic I want to finish that I doubt I will. There's at least one I don't want to finish because I dislike it (In My Blood I Felt Bubbles Burst, sorry), but if I want to finish it, then I'll finish it (unless I change my mind). It might just take me a long time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like metaphors, and kind of poetic description (particularly of feelings). I do, of course, need to be careful not to overdo it, but I think I often do hit the right note, and am able to describe complex feelings in quite original ways.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Over-writing, I think. I'm very wordy, and I can get stuck in minutae that not a single person (including me) cares about. I'm getting better at recognising when it's happening, but it's still definitely a weakness. Plus, planning out a bit elaborate plot, but then leaving it too long between chapters so I have to re-read absolutely everything to avoid plot holes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't write dialogue in another language in my English fics, unless I had help from a native speaker, as otherwise the level would be too far below my English level. But I've written a few bits and pieces in Spanish, and I'd like to continue improving my proficiency there.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who! Picture this: I am 13, and I am heartbroken after Doomsday. I decide I'm going to fix it.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I'm going to go When It Rains, I think. This might be because it's got a lot of positive attention and that contributes to my warm feelings about it, but I do re-read parts of it sometimes, and it very definitely falls into the 'this is exactly what I want to read' camp, which I think is important in your own fics.

I hope you enjoyed this! And, either way, I am going to tag a few people, just in case you'd like to do this. No pressure of course, it is a little time-consuming: @the-toad-in-your-piano, @ewebie, @evendale, @brigwife, @feeisamarshmallow... and you, dear reader, if you so wish. Please tag me even if I've not tagged you, I'd love to read your answers!

[death2normalcy]

I need some advice.

Before I begin, I want to clarify just a couple things, because this is not going to paint me in the best light, I’m aware of this. I should have ended things months ago, but I didn’t, and now here I am. This is about breaking up with my boyfriend.

Now, it’s a complicated situation for 2 reasons.

One, I am leaving for Korea in February, and haven’t told him anything about it. I’m not factoring that into this though, not really, as I very much plan to be broken up by then.

And two, he helps me out with getting rides home at night. My job is forcing me to work an hour past the last bus and without it, I would be walking home in the dark for about 30 minutes (the dark isn’t the problem. The upcoming snow and negative temperatures are). I know that makes me look so shitty, but there are other factors at play here, I swear. I’m not using him just for rides, although I am aware that I do use him in that regard, something I was actively trying to avoid before and now, I’m stuck. I tried to reason with my work last year about this and was told that he could just stay clocked in for an hour (he clocks out an hour before me, he stays to give me a ride). I tried explaining that it wasn’t a good idea for me to rely on him for this, and was ignored by everyone, management and him. He was very insistent that it was fine, and I’ve been through this before, where it’s fine...until it’s not. And now it’s not.

I know that it is partly my fault, I chose this, but I did warn him that relying on him for shit like this was bad, it never ends well. But the ride thing is my own mess to deal with. After finding out some new info, I’m going to talk to management/personnel about changing my hours so I can take the bus home. I shouldn’t have to rely on someone to get me home, that’s ridiculous.

(As a side note, I’ve also been pushing him to get a new job. We don’t work in the same department, but we do work at the same place. He’s miserable where he’s at and for multiple reasons, I’ve tried to get him to quit and find something better. I want him to be happier, but I also want him to leave so I don’t have to see him every single day. He’s adamant he wants to stay, but I know the reason is me and I hate that.)

But what I need advice about is the breaking up with him part. Now, before anyone says it, I am already aware that I just need to do it. Just get it over with, the sooner, the better. But for a variety of reasons, I’m struggling to figure out how to ease him into it.

I’ve debated different scenarios, including just telling him I want to teach English, then telling him I got a job,then going and breaking up with him then, but that’s insane, I won’t do it that way. There are many reasons for my uncertainty, a lot to do with how he is as a person. I could go more into detail, but the very, very basic rundown is this: he has anger issues (although he acts like he does not), he’s clingy and seems to dislike how independent I am, even though he won’t voice that, he rarely voices if I’ve done something to upset him, which I know I have, but anyways. We’ve been growing apart for months, and I honestly thought he would just give up and break up with me, but I’m his first real girlfriend, and he seems determined to spend his life with me, despite us being a good ways into this relationship and me giving him barely anything (again....this does not paint me in the best light. If you need more clarification on this, I can make a separate post.)

So, my question is what would be a good way to ease into breaking up with him? I see him every day at work, for both my breaks, and he gives me a ride home. That’s really the only time we see each other. Like I said, I’m not concerned about the Korea thing, at least not yet. That may make me seem like an asshole, but it’s necessary for now. I’m more concerned with ending things with him completely. Any advice?

[kob131]

Claude, although subtle, DOES have character development. It’s most noticeable in his support with Cyril.

Edelgard, if you ask me, is the one whose character arc needs serious improvement.

I should mention… Verdant Wind was my first route, Azure Moon my second, and Crimson Flower my third.

Verdant Wind-Edelgard made a BAD first impression on me by the end.

Azure Moon-Without spoiling anything… I ended up hating her EVEN MORE after this route.

Crimson Flower prompted SOME thought… and I ultimately decided it did NOT redeem her in my eyes. She comes off less as changing for the better and more as being prevented from changing for the worse. That dialogue you mention about her relaxing her views on the church rings hollow considering this is the only route where the church is more or less completely dismantled, vs reforming on other routes. She overall comes off as remaining static, with her character not changing much, if at all. Not to mention that the story seemingly goes out of its way to ensure her misinformed view of Fodlan history is never challenged. (Which feels more sue-ish to me.)

It’s also kinda funny that you claim Claude’s flaws never screw him over when, in fact, they DO screw him over in any route outside his own! And it’s heavily implied he only really succeeds in his route because he has Byleth on his side. Also… pretty sure his cheerful attitude is a cover for his pain.

Although, I suppose without knowing if you’ve played Azure Moon, or your thoughts on it if you have, I can’t form a full opinion on your thoughts. So I’ll just wait and see.

(BTW, the TRUE Mary Sue in the overall Three Houses canon is Three Hopes!Dimitri)

Okay, before I go anywhere with this, i want to say that I appreciate that you took your time to come and explain yourself to me. Very rarely do I get something like this and instead get preaching to the choir or really bad arguments that don't do shit. So thanks for putting in so much time and effort.

1- I can't deny or affirm this since I didn't GET Cyril in my run. And from what I remember- Claude acts a little more trusting and his facade is more truthful by the end. That doesn't help that Claude is still the guy who gets the most hopeful route when he presents less vulnerability.

2- While I do understand this and I am not going to argue for her on any kind of objective basis here- I do have to say that the Church being dismantled doesn't make her relaxing her views come across as less hollow to me. This kind of stuff would go beyond just the Church since the real problem is the tramua she suffered rather than the Church's issues. Also I can't really think of a way to change it so the Church stays since you need Rhea and Seteth/Flaynn around still. And no fucking way can Edelgard pull off the shit she does and they stick around.

2.5- Going to the history bit- I can understand that. She isn't being challenged here properly and I get that. But my issues with Claude weren't fully detailed in my post so sorry about that.

Another of my big issues is just what was revealed in Verdant Wind: The history of Foldlan, the relics and Rhea's past. This is all stuff that should have been at least shared with the other routes, ESPECIALLY Silver Snow since...you know...that's RHEA'S route and the final boss is NEMESIS, her mother's murderer? Of all the places to have the Agarthans and Nemesis show up, Claude, the guy least affected by them, gets to fight them.

As far as I know, you don't get to get revenge on them for killing Edelgard's family and torturing her, shattering Dimitri's mind and ruining Rhea's life. No, CLAUDE gets the fight.

Again, I could be wrong. My personal experience lacks Azure Moon and Silver Snow. And I know this is emotional and stupid as all hell. But...fucking hell, it REALLY feels like the developers realized Claude was the weakest Lord in terms of character and then shoved the backstory into his route to give you a reason to fight with him.

3- Yeah, the problem there is that from what I've seen, other characters drop their masks but Claude never really does. Just once, can he not have a smile on his face.

And- You'll have to explain how Claude keeping up a facade fucks him over in Crimson Flower. Best I could get there is that without Byleth, Claude's fakeness means no one will rally behind him. Which...doesn't get that much focus compared to Dimitri.

4- I haven't and my memories of Verdant Wind and Crimson Flower are a bit distant since I took about a year to revisit this game. This is kind of why I would like for you to explain the bits about Claude like you did against Edelgard.

Just as well- my thoughts here are just that. My thoughts, not an actual analysis of Three Houses and the routes. In that sense, Claude's route is perfectly functional and works well as a contrast to the more dour routes along with fitting his rouge-like aesthetic and the Golden Deer's more cheerful tone. (That...might just be because of Rapheal though). Claude's development isn't obvious and upfront but it doesn't need it. In fact, Claude's upbeat demeanor is something that can't really be filled by anyone else in the route and is necessary for the tone and unique identity of Verdant Wind. So he works perfectly fine here on an objective level.

You really shouldn't take what I said before as any actual judgement on his character. That was me summing up my year old thoughts on a route I personally didn't like.

Oof, kinda ranted a bit in my earlier ask.

If it makes you feel better, Three Hopes has some… opportunities to vent your frustrations with Claude.

No problem, man. I clearly touched a frayed nerve there and I know all too well the feeling. I should have explained myself better if I didn't want to get a rant after all.

And...if that's a reference to killing Claude, I don't really want that. I want Claude to be vulnerable or for me to snark at him for making jokes about poisoning others. Like dude, I know it's a joke but the fucking diplomats won't care. Probably a good thing I paired him with Ingrid- She can act as the resident Claude translator.

[evansbby]

Omg yeah I don’t even think I thought of him killing her because I was so devastated with the last segment of the book, but you’re so right. I’m sorry if I’m a little fuzzy on the details lol, I literally read it right when it came out because I saw that it had dropped (so 2 years ago now I think…)

But yes, idk like I read the book many years after I had read the Hunger Games, so the monstrosity of Snow wasn’t as fresh in my mind (all I had memories of was the blood roses and his weird threats to Katniss, and obviously yeah his whole endorsement of Panem and the Hunger Games). But it was endlessly fascinating to get the backstory of all of that, how any of this had started, how his family was one of the destitute elites clinging to symbols of wealth to keep their reputation as an old money/power family. I guess seeing him as a child and then young adult made me see the pressures that he was under, growing up in a society that prioritized and rewarded grit, defining it as this winning quality that was pretty much comprised of always choosing yourself, keeping up appearances, and sacrificing other people out of necessity (but at what point do they realize they’re doing it out of a sick joy, not reluctance).

So yeah, those moments with Lucy, I completely agree, I don’t remember the specifics, but I remember thinking that this person hardened by the world he grew up in was inexplicably drawn to the light of a person who insisted on being herself, optimistic and eccentric and weird and a songbird in a world where evil and cruelty and being cutthroat was celebrated. She was the antidote to that society, and in all their moments together, I couldn’t help but hope that somehow she would change him, because they were so clearly in love. I almost put the fact that I knew how he ended up in the back of my mind, and let myself fall in love with their love. So yeah, when that scene happened and he left her behind…… idk but it literally felt like some piece of my heart breaking off and shattering in my chest. It was all these pinpricks of hope that love would be enough, her love and innate goodness would heal him and break apart the stirring seeds of malevolence in his heart. But obviously, it was never going to be enough. That book genuinely messed my heart up lol, sent me back to being like love is truly dead lmao (I’m better now)

Anyways I did not mean to turn this into a long ass review but I am so fucking excited you read this book!!!!!!!!!!!! Because I was so hype when I read it when it came out and so upset because literally no one was talking about it like where were all the hunger games fans????????? And I texted my friends about Lucy and snow and the heartbreak and recommended it to them but they didn’t read it so anyways I’ve literally been saving up this angst and have yet to organically come across a single person who even knows about this book. It hits different and it’s amazing and I’m done now and sorry for throwing this unhingedness in your inbox 🫠

majorly agree with all of this! and im still reeling from the book tbh, like there’s sooo much i wanna add to this but I just can’t find the words! I too have no one to talk to about this! None of my closest friends are readers! And exactly, the fact that Snow’s love was NEVER going to be enough and we as the reader know this is just… wow. I really really wanted him to change, be better. In the end, I wanted Lucy Gray to somehow outsmart him, get the best of him. Well, she didn’t but at least she found out the truth about him before she died. And you’re right about the feeling of your heart shattering… like I was reading it in a Starbucks bc I was running errands and I didn’t have the patience to go home and when I finished it I literally just sat there staring into space. That last scene by the lake haunts me. How Snow just… betrayed and left behind and killed the two people who loved him most: Sejanus and especially Lucy Gray. HE LOVED HER. But it wasn’t a pure love and it wasn’t enough 😭❤️

[doubleddenden]

So I made something pretty dumb.

A bucket list. Like kinda half joking but also I'd really love to actually do them before I die. I probably won't ever be able to but everyone needs impossible dreams, right?

Especially with 101 of them.

Granted it's not perfect. I actually sub some out if I think of something better along the way or if I reread it and find one to be redundant to another, but I do have a pretty sincere list.

Some items include typical ones like

3. Visit Japan

37. Tip $100 in cash

85. Go on a cross country road trip

Then there's cringe ones like

17. Maid Cafe

63. Kiss a hot stranger

69. 😉

95. Learn to ride a motorcycle

There's small ones here too that are pretty realistic and feasible

43. Get a pet of my own free will (its complicated but basically I've never once had the choice of my own pet or the option to decline one left behind)

73. Treat my niblings to ice cream or snow cones

81. Find a book I enjoy and finish it in a week

Some that are pretty deep and sentimental

27. Get published and have my work praised

40. Find a purpose in life that satisfies me

42. Go 3 days without thinking about ending it all

52. Rekindle lost friendships

86. Apologize to friends I lost

Of course, nigh impossible ones like

30. Get a job that doesn't make me want to die or hate myself and that I actually enjoy

32. Live on the coast

36. Spend 2 weeks in another country

38. Get fit

75. Experience true luxury for at least a day

And some silly ones

2. Get an actual girlfriend

29. Become a vtuber (success varying)

58. Go glamping (as in camping but comfort. I have a soft bed and maybe a fan and a nice tent but I'm also lake or beach front)

62. Surf even if a little badly

71. Experience and participate in a murder mystery party

98. Ride a strange animal

The final one, of course, is one that I won't know if I will ever actually complete, because it's something only other people will be able to judge once I'm gone.

101. Leave something behind for the people I love, and make someone proud to have known me

Its... a lot. Strangely, I feel a sense of motivation I haven't felt in years. I know not a lot of people here actually care about me beyond the memes I reblog, but it's kind of given me something to look forward to, in a way? To actually sit down and think about things I want to do with the rest of my life rather than just wait for the end to come, or lament the mistakes or missed opportunities of my past just... idk. Feels strangely self encouraging. Like until I get money and certain life circumstances change severely, a lot of this is going to be hard to do, but it really makes me realize I have a lot of things I want to do still.

Anyway, maybe this will make someone laugh or motivate yourself in a way.

[freyayuki]

Final Fantasy Record Keeper Daily Free Draws Part 6

Every day, you get 1 free single draw on the Final Fantasy Record Keeper (FFRK) mobile game. The banner you can do this on is extremely bloated though.

It has basically all the relics on this game and the rates are crappy as always and there are no guarantees, but there is a very rare chance to get something good from this draw.

More often than not though, you’re more likely to just end up with bronze or silver trash.

Sure, I’ve gotten some good pulls from this before but that’s few and far between. It’s so rare that it might as well be nonexistent.

Anyway, a short while or so after Final Fantasy Record Keeper announced that it was gonna end its service on September 29, 2022 (I talk more about that in another post), we also got the news that the daily free single draw will now be a daily free 10-draw until the game closes.

On one hand, this is great news because I want to be able to clear as much of FFRK’s content as I can before the game ends. 

I’m missing a lot of relics though, so I doubt I’ll be able to clear everything unless I can get more useful Soul Breaks.

But on the other hand, as far as I’m aware, Final Fantasy Record Keeper didn’t change or update the rates or anything. 

We may be getting 10 items instead of just 1 per day, but there are still no guarantees so you’re still really likely to end up with trash as opposed to anything useful.

In fact, that’s exactly what I’ve been experiencing. More often than not, whenever I do the daily free 10-draw, I just end up seeing a combination of 10 bronze and silver orbs, which just feels bad, man.

Sometimes, I get 1 or more 5-star items but these relics have been heavily powercrept by now and most, if not all, of them are now Lensable so it’s just completely and utterly disappointing to get these Soul Breaks instead of a 6-star or a 7-star that could be of use to me.

Heck, there are even 6-stars and 7-stars that are also useless so I really wish FFRK had at least made it so the daily 10-draw guaranteed at least one 6-star item or something. 

Maybe they could have adjusted the rates too or something. I mean, really, why not? After all, the game’s ending soon.

Anyway, decided that I’ll only bother to take screenshots of the results of these pulls if I actually get something that could be classified as either good, useful, or interesting, or something.

One daily free draw gave me 2 5-stars and 1 6-star. The 5-stars were new but was still disappointed to see them anyway so didn’t bother checking who they belonged to.

One was a Glint Soul Break (G) for a Final Fantasy III char while the other was a Burst Soul Break (BSB) for a Final Fantasy VI char. These kinds of Soul Breaks are really outdated and powercrept by now so meh.

The 6-star was new too. It turned out to be the Awakened Arcane Soul Break (AASB) of Garnet Til Alexandros XVII from Final Fantasy IX. Nice.

Pleased to have gotten an Awakening from this pull although this is like my first BDL relic for Garnet so I doubt I’ll be able to use her for endgame content unless I can get more of her Soul Breaks.

Another daily free draw gave me 1 5-star and 1 6-star. The 5-star was a new Super Soul Break (SSB) for a Final Fantasy XIII char. Since it’s a fist-type weapon and it’s from FF13, I’m guessing this belongs to Snow Villiers from Final Fantasy 13.

The 6-star turned out to be the AASB2 of Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII (#ad). Actually really pleased to see this. Never thought that I’d be able to get this Soul Break.

See, the thing is, I actually currently have most of Sephiroth’s Soul Breaks. Before getting his AASB2, I was only missing 5 of his relics.

Three of those are Lensable. The reason why I haven’t bothered to Lens the relics I’m missing for him is because they’re all useless and outdated by now, and I don’t really need them.

Well, I suppose his Arcane Overstrike Soul Break (AOSB) for the fire element is usable enough, but I don’t really need it so meh.

The 2 relics that I’m missing for Sephi that aren’t Lensable are his AASB2 and his Dual Awakening Soul Break 1 (DASB1).

It’s been a long time since Seph’s AASB2 was featured on a banner. Never got the chance to pull for it. Was always hoping that it’d eventually be Lensable but that hope died when the game gave its end of service announcement.

Never would have thought that I’d be able to get my very first copy of Sephiroth’s AASB2 via the daily free draw. Really happy to see this.

Anyway, as for Sephiroth’s DASB1 - a while back (maybe a month or so), we had the Summer Sun Festival 2022 event.

The Summer Sun 2022 Festival banner 3 included a couple of new relics for Sephiroth. I talk more about how my pulls on that banner went on this post. Here, I’ll just say it turned out to be a complete and total disaster.

The entire fest was a disaster, an absolute waste of mythril, and really made me hate this game. I mean, I don’t want it to end but man, the rates here really suck.

Anyway, the point is that, although I spent hundreds of mythril, I failed to get Sephiroth’s DASB1 because eff this game and its crappy rates.

Now I feel like I’ll never be able to get Seph’s Dual unless a miracle happens or something.

I know it doesn’t really matter, and it’s not like Sephi is even my fave char or anything but still. I hate this, especially since I already have most of his relics. If only I’d been able to get his DASB1 on fest banner 3. Sigh.

Another daily free draw gave me 1 5-star and 2 6-stars. The 5-star was a new Glint Soul Break for a Final Fantasy XIII char. Since this is a staff or rod-type weapon, pretty sure this belongs to Oerba Dia Vanille from Final Fantasy 13.

One of the 6-stars was a dupe Ultra Soul Break (USB) that belongs to Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII. Meh.

The other 6-star was a new AASB that belongs to Cidolfus Orlandeau from Final Fantasy Tactics. Nice. Have one of Orlandeau's Synchro Arcane Soul Breaks (SASB) so this Awakening gives me another BDL relic for him and makes him usable.

Another daily free draw gave me 2 6-stars. Unfortunately, both were dupes. The first was a USB for a Final Fantasy X char while the second was the AASB of Hope Estheim from Final Fantasy XIII. It really sucks to get an Awakening only for it to turn out to be a dupe. Eff this game.

Another daily free draw gave me 1 5-star and 1 6-star. The 5-star was a new Legend Materia Relic (LMR) for a Final Fantasy VIII char. Judging from the weapon-type (a staff), pretty sure this belongs to Selphie Tilmitt from Final Fantasy 8.

The 6-star was a new Awakening for Meliadoul Tengille from Final Fantasy Tactics. IIRC, this is like my first BDL relic for Meliadoul.

Another daily free draw gave me 1 6-star and 1 5-star. The 5-star was a Glint Soul Break for a Final Fantasy III char. It’s new but meh.

But surprisingly, the 6-star turned out to be the Awakened Arcane Soul Break  2 (AASB2) of the Emperor from Final Fantasy II. It’s new and this is actually my first BDL relic for the Emperor.

Having only 1 BDL relic wouldn’t make the Emperor usable but thankfully, his AASB1 is Lensable.

Only have a few FF2 relics so more is always welcome, especially since I haven’t cleared the Final Fantasy II Dragonking Dungeon quest yet.

Another daily free draw gave me 1 5-star and 1 6-star. The 5-star was a Super Soul Break for a Final Fantasy VI char. It’s new but meh. Useless.

The 6-star turned out to be the AASB2 of Meia from Mobius Final Fantasy. Hell, yes! Was super pleased when I saw this. What a pleasant surprise.

Some of Meia’s Soul Breaks were featured in a water banner that showed up recently. I really need more water tech, not to mention more Final Fantasy I tech, so I pulled on this banner.

This was after we’d already gotten the news that FFRK was gonna end soon so there was no longer any reason to save my mythril.

I talk more about this in another post, but was able to get a few of Meia’s Soul Breaks, including her Dual Awakening Soul Break (DASB) and her Synchro Arcane Soul Break (SASB). Unfortunately, I missed out on her AASB2.

At least her AASB1 was Lensable although I haven’t gotten it yet since I haven’t had the chance to try out the Final Fantasy I Dragonking Dungeon quest or any other fight that might require Meia and a magical water team.

Meia’s AASB2 is way better than her AASB1 so I’m really glad that I was eventually able to get said Awakening. Now I have multiple BDL relics for her.

Meia is a really good DPS so it feels like my chances of being able to win the FF1 Dragonking fight just went up.

End of Final Fantasy Record Keeper Mobile Game

And that’s it. It’s all over now. At the time I’m writing this part of this post, it’s way past September 29, 2022 so FFRK has just ended its service. Ahh, I still wish that this didn’t have to happen now or anytime soon.

I tried but sadly, wasn’t able to finish all the content in Final Fantasy Record Keeper before the end. I talk more about that in another post.

Also unfortunately didn’t get much of a chance to really use some of the new relics that I just got from all these free daily 10-draws. I wish we got more time before the game ended.

Never got to use Garnet. With only one BDL relic for her, it would have been near impossible to bring her to endgame content but since FFRK was ending already anyway, I wish that I’d been able to try her out in battle even if it’s just against an easy boss or something.

Also never got to use Orlandeau. IIRC, I did get to use Meliadoul like once or twice maybe but that was way back and way before I got her AASB on one of these free daily 10-draws.

After getting her Awakening, didn’t get the chance to try out Meliadoul in battle. Also, I’d been meaning to take on the Final Fantasy Tactics Dragonking Dungeon quest but I ran out of time.

Didn’t get to try out the Emperor in battle either. I’d been meaning to Lens his AASB1 so I’d have 2 BDL relics for him. Then I could have tried the Final Fantasy II Dragonking Dungeon quest but also never got the chance to do that.

At least I actually got to use Meia even if it wasn’t as much as I wanted. IIRC, I did Lens her AASB1. Got to use Meia in battle a few times and she’s really good.

I’d been meaning to try her out in the Final Fantasy I Dragonking Dungeon quest but unfortunately never got the chance to do so.

Meia and the rest of my magical water elemental team did help me beat one of the Bahamut quests though. I talk more about that in another post.

Even got 2 new Magicites after beating Bahamut. These Magicites are so much more powerful than the ones I already have and helped me beat even more content. I really wish that I had the time to do even more before it was all over.

As for Sephiroth - well, he’s on my physical fire elemental team and that’s the party I use basically all the time so I did get to use him a lot. But I don’t think I really got the chance to try out his AASB2 though.

Since I have plenty of other BDL relics for Sephi and since those Soul Breaks are way better than his Awakening 2, I prioritize casting them. I’ll only really use his AASB2 after I’ve already used up all of his other BDL relics, and that’s assuming the fight is still ongoing.

Decided to Lens the rest of Sephiroth’s relics that I’m missing and that are available in the The Record Lab. After all, there’s no point in saving anything anymore.

Now the only thing I’m missing for Sephiroth is his Dual Awakening Soul Break 1. Still so, so, so upset that I failed to get said relic. Eff this game. I really wish that I’d gotten the chance to try it out. Sigh.

Another thing that’s really upsetting is the way Final Fantasy Record Keeper ended. Its end feels so anticlimactic. Truly a letdown of epic proportions. The game could have tried to do more before everything ended.

But instead, even before the end, FFRK felt dead already. We stopped getting any new events long before the end.

We got a special banner and some tickets that we could use to pull on said banner. I talk more about that in another post, but we’d get like 1 ticket per day as part of some login bonus campaign or something.

That only lasted for like 30 days or so though. But why couldn’t they have made it last until the end? Why couldn’t they have given us more free pulls?

Why couldn’t they have adjusted the rates or something? Why couldn’t they have made it so that these daily free 10-draws would give us at least 1 6-star or 7-star Soul Break or something?

They didn’t even refresh the Realm and Elemental banners or given us more mythril and Realm/Elemental x11 tickets.

The game could have gone out with a bang but it feels like it all just ended in disappointment.

Conclusion

So, what about you? What relics did you get from the daily free draws? What do you think about the daily free draw banner? What do you think about the fact that Final Fantasy Record Keeper is all over now? Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions by leaving a comment below or by reblogging this post.

Notes:

screenshots are from my Final Fantasy Record Keeper game account

[heresmyfiddlestick]

And more...

From Episode 6 "Rogue" - a hologram of the Tenth Doctor's head is suspended next to 15, and it appears on the screens behind him. The Doctor looks like he's suspended in some sort of light cage or something. This is the same spot as the "Classiiiiiiiiiic" clip, and his extended hand makes me think he's just lost the sonic as the villains have gotten the better of him. These are time travellers or aliens or whatever who have caught The Doctor and have scanned him, going through old faces to compare. Or something. We've reached the wild speculation portion of this post

Smiley boy. This is a shot we've already seen (him snapping the doors open), but I wanted it in anyways.

Then we see the TARDIS dematerialising, to Mrs. Flood's surprise. The Doctor says "It's called a TARDIS. It's a time and space machine." Ruby, in a separate clip, asks "Is it safe?" (odds are this is before he snaps the doors open to reveal dinosaurs), and the Doctor seems to reply "No idea."

We get this great look from Ruby, another shot of the Doctor yanking on that TARDIS lever (without his coat), then...

"Woo!" - probably from early in Episode 1 judging by the outfit. Maybe this is on the trip back in time, or to the Space Babies' station?

Hijinx as the gravity goes off. I love this TARDIS lighting, especially the multicolour tunnels. Odds are this is also Episode 1 "Space Babies".

We then see the beautiful time vortex, then...

Pretty good view. This is what they're stepping out to look at at the start of the premiere date teaser, what Ruby is looking at in the "Just fun" clip from the christmas special teaser, and probably takes place early in Episode 1 as the Doctor is showing off.

Fair question, Ruby. I would ask more about the active volcano nearby, though.

Narrator voice: and then she did.

This is a good bit, especially silly with the Bowie in the background, but I cannot imagine how it fits into anything, at least following my theory about this all taking place as a "show off trip" early in their run. It does make me wonder about "mavity" though - seems like the concept of "changing history" is going to be pretty salient in this era, and I wonder if, driven to correct lizard-Ruby, the Doctor might feel drawn to correct mavity back to gravity...

To me, this smacks of "Space Babies" vibes. Big blobular nursery space station or something? Great stuff.

Another clip with the whistle and Ruby in her black tank top! Snow is falling, which it was doing in the Shorts clip about Episode 4 "72 Yards", but knowing nothing else about that episode I cannot comment. Ruby seems to be watching something on a little screen, while the Doctor is panicked? This looks present-day.

Spooky regency people from Episode 6 "Rogue", led by The Duchess (of Pemberton)

And they turn into birds! Doctor, you have seen things like this before. It happened to Peri.

Ruby is overwhelmed by the beautiful regency people. I hope she likes feathers. They're dancing together here and in the next clip.

And I don't see Jonathan Groff, but The Duchess is looking on in the top right of the frame.

Ruby calls some place completely mad, while a woman screams for her life. No idea of the placement here.

Jinkx is orchestrating some animated musical notation, and it looks good as hell.

Here's Ruby in the outfit we've seen her in for the "just babbling now" and the little cuddle - that'll presumably come at the end of this episode, then. Here she is shooting a lazer gun that looks like it's firing the same sort of thing as we saw in the Short segment for Episode 3 "Boom", and sure enough there's the Doctor in the background stood on a landmine.

Here is the scene for this line of dialogue. The place in question might be the Space Babies station, judging by Ruby's outfit.

Odds are this is from Episode 2 "The Devil's Chord". I just hope it isn't Ringo trapped in there...

Here's what looks like a modern-day lady spooked by a slug monster. Worth noting here that Kate's line over this is spliced: "Things seem to be turning[...] more and more supernatural"

The streetlight here is glitching out, a bit like we see in the episode title drop Short. It's not exactly the same, though, so I cannot tell if this is more likely Episode 5 "Dot and Bubble" or Episode 7 "The Legend of Ruby Sunday". Maybe the latter, as that could be the church in the background, but it's anyone's guess.

A glass shatters atop a messy mixing board. I see a Mirror headline "Khrushchev Threatens Finland", so I'm placing this episode in 1961, before the Vienna summit.

A hooded figure ("Ruby's mum" from the Christmas special) points menacingly to the camera. Is this when the Doctor runs after them and they turn around?

Then we see the TARDIS team spooked in the dank dark hallway presumably from Episode 1 "Space Babies"

Ruby asks "is that a monster?"

And the Doctor reassures her that monsters are just creatures you haven't met yet. A great line, especially followed by...

A spooky monster!

And a good run.

People abandon their cars in present-day London to escape some big calamity. Reminds me of the Mel on a moped chase scene. This gives me more "Empire of Death" vibes than anything else, though.

A big vault door opens at UNIT, revealing the Doctor (in awe), our first glimpse of Morris (played by Lenny Rush), and Rose (arms crossed). Ruby looks like she is there too, and Kate, to the left of Rose.

Continued...

i've been meaning to do a short-by-shot breakdown of the trailers for the upcoming season of Doctor Who, and with full-length trailer #2 out today it seems like a good time.

this will cover the teaser trailer (dropped after the christmas special), trailers #1 and #2 (dropped March 22 and today respectively), and the YouTube short they've released with all the episode titles. I've previously looked at the premiere date teaser released March 15.

Title Drop Short

I'll start with this because it is the shortest and gives some helpful hints to identifying other clips.

The accompanying audio here is some babies crying as the lights flicker, showing the monster's shadow. Is the monster hunting the babies? Is it supposed to be protecting them?

What this screencap doesn't convey is the music notes lifting off the page on the far right. When looking up "The Devil's Chord" (aka the tritone) I find on Wikipedia that "George Harrison uses tritones on the downbeats of the opening phrases of the Beatles songs "The Inner Light", "Blue Jay Way", and "Within You Without You" - I'm clearly not big up on my George songs, and I think it would be hilarious if the Beatles-centric episode of Doctor Who winds up being specifically George Harrison-centric.

I can find no info on who Timothy Drake might be (besides Robin, but that feels like a long shot). There is a piece credited to Beethoven behind the book.

"Boom" - clearly The Moff trying to bring back the spooky one-word title steez of Blink and Hide and Listen and so on. This clip has falling rubble and a bit of lazer fire, and above the door we have written "Entrance 3"

We have a cawing corvid behind this one, as snow rushes past what looks like a sign for a pub. Pretty creepy sign!

The words appear in sequence with some electronic chimes here, before the whole thing glitches out. Social media episode?

Here we have the title for the episode that was provisionally known as "Regency", written by Kate Herron and Briony Redman. We have reference to "The Duchess of Pemberton", who is presumably "The Duchess" played by Indira Varma. 8 May 1813 is in fact in the Regency period, but I can't find any other historical significance to that date.

The multiple screens and tech set up here gives me the vibes of a television studio. Will Ruby turn out to be a Sam Jones situation, a companion orchestrated perfectly for the Doctor? I'd say that's unlikely but I'm not ruling it out.

Now THIS is a Doctor Who episode title. Go off king give us nothing!

Alright bearing those aesthetics in mind, let's move on to the teaser trailer that premiered after the Christmas special

Season Teaser

This trailer introduced us to the great, kinda creepy music that recurs throughout the rest of them. And a powerful gaze from Dr. Who themself.

I think I can connect this shot to a scene we'll see later.

We then pop to another stare, in a shirt we've already seen in the Christmas special - so this is probably Episode 1 ("Space Babies").

Lots of good stares this episode, as we also see him looking through a window in the premiere date teaser. Who is that behind him with Ruby?

Then he's running down a corridor, and I'm so glad they've chosen to give him loads of different outfits because that makes this job much easier.

This is undoubtedly in Episode 2. Is he racing to stop "The Devil's Chord" from being played? Or maybe he's going to find Ruby ensnared somewhere. More on that later.

Why is he wearing a whistle? Why are the lights so low?

Were they working out? I love it.

A TARDIS design has to have some good levers for yanking on. This one has that and a jukebox AND mood lighting. good for her!

"I have the whole universe at my fingertips" - this is only part of a quote, which we'll get more of in a later trailer. I like this spot on a cliff's edge that they end up on, and I've just noticed the silly little tree near the TARDIS. The Doctor fell deeply in love with Dingle's Door when they regenerated from 13 and now their go-to spot is gonna be precarious rocks overlooking the sea. Just my prediction. This is likely Episode 1 "Space Babies", given other clips we've seen of them popping out here in their Christmas special outfits.

A door opens, casting a shadow on Ruby as she looks somewhat dumbfounded at what lies on the other side. Judging by the costume, this is probably Space Babies too, and yeah it looks like there might be babies in jars behind Ruby there...

It really looks like he has fangs in this screencap. Again, probably Space Babies given the costume. But who knows!

He's slamming on a button. Possibly to "Reset Port B"?

Here is the Doctor dancing with Jonathan Groff in Episode 6 "Rogue", and nobody seems too interested in them, but then:

The Duchess (and those around her) have taken note of something.

Mr Groff glancing at the Doctor's lips lmao

I love his wig! Everyone has taken notice now, and there's clearly something that has interrupted their dance.

Here we've got the pair strutting along the TARDIS walkway, probably having just changed into these sweet outfits before heading to:

"Abbey Road Studios" in Episode 2 "The Devil's Chord"

They're freaking out I love them. This is a great second-trip in the TARDIS historical. The Doctor has fallen back on their old tricks, but at least they didn't end up in Cardiff again. They're in the recording booth here during a Beatles studio session.

Where is Ringo?!!!

There he is (:

The Doctor has stepped on something he shouldn't. This is presumably is "gonna be a minute!" in the other teaser I've looked at. Shot in the dark, this is from Episode 3 "Boom". Because of land mines. (And the rubble and lazer blasts in the Short seem to match the "warzone" vibe)

"I've really stepped in it now". This looks like similar lighting to the very first "intense stare" shot from the start of this trailer.

Continued in reblogs...

[swallowtailcherry]

Sweet Heart💖

Loki x Goddess!Mitsuri!Reader

(Originally requested on Quotev)

1. This seems to be a ongoing thing here (First Qin, then Hades, and now Loki the fuck-)

2. I think this is a complete mess

3. I got stuck on this ngl

4. Mitsuri's eye and hair colour is used here.

No warnings, just some fluff!!

~~~~~~~

Accompanying Aphrodite wasn't a good idea on your end.

The majority of the conversations you both had was her trying to get an answer out of you whenever she asked if you have feelings for someone. You tried to avoid that by changing the topic or just pretend you didn't hear it, but she was persistent.

Finally you cracked and blurted out the name.

"Ah! Did I say something wrong?!" You panicked at Aphrodite's shocked expression. The goddess shook her head.

"You did not. I'm only surprised Loki is your answer. I kinda expected either Poseidon or Thor. At least I got an answer!" She giggled. The heat made its way up to your face, slumping over in defeat after realising what happened.

"No no no! Please don't do what I think you're gonna do!" You frantically yelped out when you saw Aphrodite's smile. The smile that meant she'll pull off something you'll die of embarrassment.

"You can't stop me, my dear!~" She sang out, waving at you with her fingers when you took off.

~~~~

Sparkling green eyes followed the floating god. As if by magic your hair slowly floated up and down.

"His eyes are so pretty! I wonder about his method." You pondered with a goofy smile on your face. You curled your fingers into a first and covered your lips. The images of loki invaded your mind, but that one piece of info just had to interrupt your daydreaming.

"Damn! I forgot to do a task for Hermes!" You internally panicked, your face nearly as pale as snow. But before you could even take a step, a slightly cold hand touched your shoulder, the

"Oh? If it isn't my favourite little goddess~" Loki teased, holding back laughter from your obviously flustered face. You tried to play it off as if you got too much hear from the sun.

"Been a while." You replied, your thoughts screaming at you to tell him. But apparently you didn't need to.

"Now, is it true you like me?" You shot your head in shock, mentally cursing to yourself. Sometimes, you wanted to keep your mouth shut.

"Where did you hear that?!" You exclaimed. You weren't too sure who may have told him, but you hoped it wasn't from anyone who likes to see you suffer.

"I overheard." It took you a solid minute to realise what he was implying.

"YOU WERE THERE?!" You shouted, covering your face with your arms. The floating god just laughed at your current state.

"Of course I was! You should know I can't help but be part of anything interesting." He had a point. That was the only way he found out about your... fascination with the small pink and green cakes and your superhuman strength.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything..." You sulked, the colour of your hair draining out. You felt two hands cup your cheeks and lift your head up to face him.

"Hold on, I never gave you a proper response." Loki laughed, enjoying your shy expression. You grabbed his wrists, deciding whenever to break away from him or stay.

But his touch felt so warm despite the slight lack of it. Your eyes widen when he pressed his lips against yours, pulling you in.

"Yes yes yes! Loki's lips are much softer than I thought!" You thought, hugging him tightly. He stopped kissing you and leaned into your ear.

"I loved how you screamed my name~"

[softiem]

you used to paint his skies (pt. 2)

pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x GN!Reader

overview: The one in which Bokuto is still swearing up and down that he loves you, but the nagging feeling in your chest is too strong to ignore.

word count: ~4.3k

content warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing, MSBY!Bokuto, mildly suggestive scene at the end (no nsfw), our baby Bokuto kind of loses it at the end, don’t let the fluffy interludes deceive you again

notes: I’M SO SORRY FOR LITERALLY BEING DEAD FOR 6 MONTHS,,, Here’s the second part to “you used to paint his skies” :D (I think this is better than part one — at least I hope so). Some people asked to be tagged for this second part, so those will be below. Thank you for reading, darlings ʕ ´•̥̥̥ ᴥ•̥̥̥`ʔ <333

part one.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Baby?”

Faint sniffles came from Bokuto, whose head was currently nestled on your lap, the two of you strewn across the sofa. His arms were wrapped tight around your waist, as if he were afraid that holding you any looser would cause you to disappear from his arms. His voice was quiet, meek — nothing like the loud, boisterous ball of energy you’d grown to adore, to cherish.

To fall in love with.

Now, here the both of you were, a pile of cracked and fragmented pieces of the love you once shared, desperately grasping at whatever you could salvage from the mess.

You hummed a response.

“Are we gonna be okay?” Bokuto turned his head, his eyes staring up at you — wide, teary, and filled with a broken sense of hope.

In an attempt to avoid breaking down a third time, you cleared your throat. You still couldn’t look down at him, into his eyes that seemed to praise your very existence, even after the pain you caused.

“Please.” His voice cracked.

“Let’s not talk about that right now, Kou-Bokuto.”

He bit his lip roughly, enough to bite into the skin and draw a slight trace of blood. Choking on a weak sob, he nestled his head into your stomach once more. He couldn’t stop you from calling him that name anymore; he’d lost that privilege.

What could he have been asking for? For you to simply just call him your Koutarou again? For you not to leave him and stay in his arms? For you to kiss him and wipe those tears running from his pretty eyes as you tell him you’ll love him forever, no matter what?

Quite honestly, Bokuto didn’t know what he was asking of you; he didn’t know what he wanted from you.

The only thing running through his mind was the fact that he’d just ruined the best thing to ever happen to him.

You.

You, the love of his life. He knew you like the back of his hand.

He knew how, despite your small tendency to be romantically constipated, you tried your best to love him — even to the point of using stupidly cheesy pet names for each other.

– – – – –

“Please, baby!” Bokuto had your hands tightly grasped in his. “I swear, if you do this for me, I won’t ever ask you for anything else for the rest of my life — okay, that’s a lie because I really want ice cream after this, but you know what I mean!”

“Kou.” You drew in a breath. “I’m saying yes to the ice cream later, but those are the cheesiest pet names I have ever heard of.”

You saw the way Bokuto visibly deflated as he heard your soft rejection of his idea.

For the rest of the night (after stopping by the store and getting yourselves two tubs of ice cream, of course), the two of you sat cuddled up on the sofa half-paying attention to whatever B-list movie was recommended to you. Occasionally, you would hear Bokuto let out a deep sigh, most likely to try and guilt trip you into doing what he asked of you earlier.

Turning your head to face him, you grinned at the little pout on his lips as his eyes bore holes into the TV screen.

“Hey, Kou.”

Nothing. His attention stayed glued to the TV. The only sign that showed he’d heard you was the deepening of his pout.

“Koutaro, pretty boy. I’m talking to you,” you giggled.

Still nothing. You racked your brain for all of the possible ways this could end — every one of them resulted in the same thing.

Sighing, you brought up a finger to poke at his cheek. “Hey, dovey.”

If Bokuto were a dog, his ears would have stood straight up and his tail would have started wagging as he whipped his head around to look at you.

“Say that again,” he demanded, his eyes wide and sparkling and the corner of his lips twitching, just barely restraining a smile.

When you didn’t reply, his fingers prodded at your side — a promise to tickle you if you didn’t humour him right now.

“Say it again! Who am I?”

“You’re my dovey.”

“And who are you?”

You struggled to fight the urge to curl up into yourself as you answered him, “I’m your lovey.”

“And what are we together?” Bokuto brought his face closer to yours, his eyes going back and forth between your eyes and lips.

“We’re lovey dovey.” You completed it with a pair of awkward jazz hands.

With that, Bokuto’s face split into a blinding smile as his laughter rang through the living room. He brought you tight into his arms and buried his face into the crook of your neck.

“Yes! I knew you could do it, lovey!” Your cheeks grew warm as you were subjected to his rain of kisses on your face. 

Pulling him in for one last kiss to your lips, you whispered, “I love you so much, Kou.”

– – – – –

He knew how he was always the first thing on your mind; you’d put him as your first priority without fail, no matter how busy you were, even when he hadn’t put you as his.

– – – – –

Bokuto stared up at the crisp, white ceiling — hospitals were never a fun place to be in. He was broken from his thoughts when the door to his room burst open, revealing you in your ever-ethereal work clothes rushing toward him.

“Babe! Are you alright?” Stopping at the side of his bed, you brought his hand up to place a kiss on his knuckles.

Bokuto let out a light laugh as he intertwined his fingers with yours. “Yeah, it’s just a sprained ankle. Nothing to worry about, honey.”

“What do you mean ‘nothing to worry about’? Your coach said that you’d have to be out for two weeks!”

“That’s not too much! It’s not like I’ll be missing the whole season, angel.”

“But, Kou, you also have to–”

Bokuto stopped your worried rambling as he pulled you down, giving you a soft kiss on your lips and cheeks. He gave you a smile.

“Stop worrying, baby! Everything will be fine because I have the cutest, smartest, and kindest nurse to help me recover, right?”

“And who’s that?” You sent him a teasing look as your hands shuffled through your pockets looking for your phone.

“You, silly!” He paused before staring up at you in concern. “You are going to take care of me, right, baby?”

“I don’t know about that, Kou. Work has been hectic lately.” You pulled out your phone.

“But I’m injured! And I’m your boyfriend too! You can’t just leave your injured boyfriend alone to fend for himself! Baby!” Walking away from his bed, you exited the hospital room, tapping away on your phone.

A few minutes passed before you returned, seeing Bokuto sulking in the hospital bed, a familiar pout on his lips.

Your eyes softened as you gave him a smile. “Guess who just got two weeks off?”

– – – – –

The foundation of your relationship was built upon the fact that the two of you knew each other like no other; you loved each other like no other.

So how had everything culminated into such a mess?

“Bokuto.” You felt the way his body stiffened as you called his name.

“Yes,” he hesitated, “honey?”

“Do you remember what I told you a couple years ago? About what I thought of love?”

Feeling a prickling sensation in his nose, Bokuto squeezed his eyes shut, forcing out a few tears that had collected on his eyelashes.

His voice came out hoarse and weak as he whispered, “I could never forget.”

– – – – –

The sky was enveloped in a cloak of darkness, but not even the onslaught of exhaustion could prevent the two of you from leaning back on the picnic blanket to stare up at the shimmering stars.

“Baby?” Bokuto turned his head to where you lay beside him. You hummed in response, half of your attention taken by the stars.

“What do you think about love?”

You raised an eyebrow, rolling onto your side to fully look at your boyfriend.

The moonlight casted harsh shadows on his face, but the way he looked at you — eyes sparkling with curiosity and the corners of his lips curled into a light smile — softened the darkness surrounding the two of you.

“Where did that question come from?” You raised a hand to lightly trace over the curves and slopes of his face; your thumb caressed his cheek as he leaned into your touch.

“Answer my question first, and then I’ll tell you.” His eyes turned into little crescent moons as he smiled at you. “Deal?”

You pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “Hm, three kisses please,” you said, wiggling three of your fingers.

Bokuto laughed, indulging you with a kiss to both of your cheeks and a final kiss to your lips.

“Okay, okay,” you giggled. “You asked me what I think about love?”

He nodded.

“Well,” you sighed, turning back to face the midnight sky above you, “I think that love is like the sky — the sun, to be specific. It’s always changing, and everything is so unpredictable about it. There’s so much potential for destruction in what the sky holds. But, there’s always one constant. Do you know what it is, Kou?” You looked at him.

“What is it, angel?” His golden eyes glimmered, as if they were holding stars themselves.

Adjusting your position on the picnic blanket (you curled closer into Bokuto, who wrapped an arm around your shoulders), you continued, “It’s the sun. No matter how much it rains or snows or whatever weather catastrophe is happening, the sun is always going to be there. Sure, you can have multiple suns like those Star Wars planets, but…” you trailed off, looking into his eyes. “... I think I’m happy with my one sunshine.”

Bokuto, ever the romantic, pulled you into a nearly-bone-crushing hug as he laughed into your shoulder. After peppering kisses to your neck and jaw, he pulled away to look at you. He sported the brightest smile, but something sparkled behind those eyes of his.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re getting cheesier than me.”

You groaned, leaning away from him, “Shut up, Kou!”

He giggled before placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Now let’s get home before these mosquitoes eat us alive, honey.”

“And then you’ll tell me where you got that question from?”

“Of course, honey! I never break a deal!”

– – – – –

How could he forget what you said? Every word you’ve ever spoken to him, he’s grasped onto like a lifeline, as if they would be your last. He was so close to bursting — so close to pulling himself off of your lap, looking into your pretty eyes, grasping your shoulders, and yelling at you, screaming at you, asking why you would think he could ever forget anything about you. How dare you think he could ever forget anything about you?

But he couldn’t do that. Not to you. Not anymore.

He didn’t realise that you’d gone silent — his world had gone silent — until your sniffles broke his reverie. His arms tightened around your waist as his head nuzzled into your stomach once again; it was a broken act of comfort.

“Honey,” the edges of his voice cracked as he called out for you. “Talk to me. Please. Don’t… don’t stay quiet.”

Being met with another bout of silence was almost excruciating. Bokuto was struggling to keep himself together, to keep his head above the water before he drowned in his thoughts of losing you.

He launched himself up from your lap, grabbing your face with shaky hands. He had tears running down his face once again. His face was blotchy, and his hair was a mess. He was a mess.

“Please, lovey,” he whispered. If you stayed silent just one minute longer, he’d collapse. He was sure of it. Fighting the urge to just sit himself in your lap, pull you tight against him, and beg you not to leave, Bokuto settled with caressing the skin under your shirt.

Finally, you broke the silence.

“I forgot to tell you one thing that night.” You moved your hand from where it was resting in his hair back to your side; he tensed at the loss of your touch.

He swallowed, his anxiety began to pile up once again. “What’d you forget, baby?”

“Even though the sun” — your voice cracked — “is a constant, sometimes it can be too much. Burn too bright and dry up everything underneath the sky. Sometimes...” you paused to take a deep breath, trying to swallow back the lump that was growing in your throat. “Sometimes the sun can do even worse harm than anything the sky could do.”

Bokuto could feel the gradual increase of his heartbeat. He shook his head, his fingers involuntarily digging into your skin. No, no, you didn’t mean that. You couldn’t mean that. If you did he… he didn’t know what he would do.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto,” you murmured, “I can’t stay here any longer.”

You tried to pry yourself out of his grip, but he wouldn’t relent. His arms were shaking as he pulled you even closer into him. He was whispering something to himself.

“Bokuto, I’m being serious.” You tried to keep your voice stable but failed miserably — it all came out shaky, your tone uneven. “Let me go.”

His whispers grew louder until you could finally understand what he was saying.

“No, no. This isn’t real. I love you. I love you. No, don’t leave. Please don’t leave. I love you.”

You called his name. Once, twice, thrice. As you called for him, his whispers grew to full-blown cries.

“Bokuto!”

“I’M SORRY DON’T LEAVE ME!”

But the only thing your eyes chose to focus on was the trail of red and purple leading down his neck.

You felt a prickling sensation behind your eyes, a feeling that had grown familiar to you in the past few hours.

Bokuto caught the wandering of your eyes down his neck, a faraway mist muddled the irises he loved gazing into; he realised what you were staring at, forcing down a choked sob. He clenched his jaw, violently cursing himself for making you feel like you weren’t enough, like you weren’t the one keeping him standing straight.

Like you weren’t his sun, moon, stars, and whatever else you filled the fucking sky with.

He gently moved your head, trying to get you to look back into his eyes and away from the bruised mistake that marred his skin. His thoughts only filled with one thing — “Come back to me, baby.”

Waves of relief crashed against him once you met his eyes.

“Baby– Angel– I’m so– I don’t– Please–” Bokuto struggled to keep his thoughts straight. Not when you stared at him with an iciness that pierced his heart every time he looked back into your eyes, hoping to find even the smallest trace of love left for him.

He let out a rough sigh, frustrated with his inability to speak through the racing of his heart. His hands, still cupping your face, lightly squeezed your cheeks to ground himself. He looked back to you, his eyes swimming with even more tears, trying to send a message to you that he couldn’t put into words.

You looked away from him, focusing on the ticking clock on the wall as you gnawed your lip. A question had been running through your mind ever since he cracked into your resolve to leave and pulled you to the sofa, laying his head in your lap.

Your eyes turned back to him.

“Can you tell me something, Bokuto?”

“Yes, yes, baby, of course. I’ll do anything you want.” He eagerly nodded, a small spark of hope sparkled within him.

“Why’d you lie?”

He felt as though you just dumped him into one of Atsumu’s god-awful ice baths.

“What’re you saying, angel?” His eyebrows furrowed. “I’ve never lied to you.”

“Earlier,” you croaked. “I asked you earlier how long you’ve been” — you couldn’t say that word; it’d hurt too much — “messing around.”

A glint of recognition passed his eyes.

Continuing, you forced your voice out, even though it grew weaker the more you tried to hide your pain, “You said that it was just this once. That wasn’t the whole truth, was it?”

Fuck. Bokuto took his hands away from your face, opting to grasp one of your hands in his. He gave your knuckles a kiss before looking back at you, his eyes teeming with unadulterated guilt and desperation.

“I-I knew them before this ever happened. We met at one of the team parties, but you weren’t there because you were at work.” He saw a glimpse of darkness shadow over your face, and his heartbeat picked up again (not that it ever really settled). “But we never did anything! Not until last night, at least.” His voice grew quiet at the end.

“And never once did it occur to you to tell them that you were taken?”

Bokuto’s lips started trembling — no doubt he’d begin crying again. He looked down, trying to avoid your glare, but his grip on your hand never loosened.

“Please, baby. I’m so sorry,” he choked out, “I’m so fucking sorry. I fucked up in the worst way possible. But I promise you, I never did anything with them before. We just talked at that one party. I promise you that. I promise, honey.”

The look in your eyes became even colder, even more distant; something akin to hatred was present as well. No, this couldn’t be happening. His worst nightmare was coming true. You’d finally learned the truth and were going to leave him. You might have called him your sunshine that one night two years ago, but, to him, you were his oxygen — without you, he was truly nothing. Just a corpse of a man, not worth wasting a breath on.

He was losing you. Again.

“I’m leaving, Bokuto.” You roughly pulled your hand from his grasp, ignoring his cries for you to please stop, to listen for just a minute longer. “Don’t you dare try to look for me.”

Bokuto whimpered, following you to where you were trying to pick up your bags in your haste of anger. Once again, he tugged at the straps, trying to steal them away from you, but his arms grew weak at the scowl pointed his way.

His breath quickened, and his heart raced. He was panicking, grasping at straws to have to rethink your choice and stay with him so he could apologise for the rest of both of your lives. He’d spend the remainder of eternity begging for your forgiveness if only you’d just stay with him.

But he couldn’t say a word. Not with his blinded panic, and definitely not with the terrible, agonising look you were giving him as you stared back at him.

Was this how you felt when he’d walked out on you last night? Hopeless. Defenseless. As if you weren’t even worth a grain of sand underneath the other’s shoe.

“Lovey, I’m sorry!” Bokuto cried out one more time, hoping that he’d reach out to whatever small piece of love you still held for him. “I said I’m sorry! Please just forgive me, don’t leave me. Please! I’m begging you! Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it a million times over. Just, please,” he quieted to a whisper, just barely reaching your ears, “stay with me, and we can get through this together.”

His face crumpled as he heard your responding scoff.

“There’s no more ‘together’ for us, Bokuto.”

Your words stung — well, they stung as much as a gunshot or a knife to the heart would sting. He pressed on, desperate to get you to hear him out.

“I’m your sunshine, right? Your dovey. Your babe. Your pretty boy. Your Koutarou. Right?” He gripped onto the hem of his shirt, balling his hands into fists. “No matter what you call me, I’m yours. And I always will be. Even if you leave me right now, I’ll never stop looking for you. You know why?”

You stayed silent.

“Because I am just as much your sun as you are mine.”

His words echoed in your mind — that twisted, gnawing feeling came back in your gut. You knew that if you stayed for one more minute, it’d be over for you, and you’d go running back into his arms that always held you so tightly. Into his arms that smelt like home. Into his arms that made you feel like you were on top of the world as long as he was by your side. Into his arms that held onto another once the two of you reached a rough patch.

You made your decision.

“Koutarou…” His head snapped up to look at you, his eyes wide and glittering with a false sense of hope. “I’m sorry. I have to leave.”

There was another feeling growing within Bokuto. It was ugly, festering in the deepest parts of his mind — coming from a place that refused to acknowledge his faults. This feeling, it blamed

you. Why would you hurt him like this? How could you hurt him like this? You said he was your sunshine, your dovey, your Koutarou! How cruel could you be to lead him on, calling him ‘Koutarou’ again? You said you loved him!

“Don’t leave me!” He raised his voice. This feeling was taking over him, and it was angry. “If you leave, I’ll-I’ll…” His voice trailed off as he tried to regain control of himself.

Your brows furrowed. He still had the energy to yell, huh?

“You’ll what?” You took a step toward him. He looked away from you, trying to avoid your burning gaze. “Tell me, Koutarou. What will you do if I leave?”

He shook his head; you knew what that meant — “I won’t say it.”

“You’ll go back to them, won’t you?” you scoffed. “Have fun, Koutarou.”

Adjusting the straps of your bags, you gave him one last glare before moving toward the door once more.

That feeling came back in Bokuto’s mind, and it was stronger than ever. Pounding against the walls he built up, it roared, telling him to make you regret hurting him, make you think twice about leaving him. Bokuto was panicking, his will to beg you to stay was growing weaker as the feeling inside him became increasingly angry at you for causing him so much pain.

He knew he’d regret the next words he’d say to you, but that realisation came a second too late.

“I’ll never forgive you!”

You froze. Turning back around to face him, your eyes narrowed. “What?”

“If you leave me, I’ll never forgive you!”

His eyes were burning into you, a raging fire behind them.

“You’ll never forgive me?” you spat.

As quickly as the fire grew, it was extinguished as Bokuto’s expression morphed into one of shock.

“Wait, baby, I didn’t mean it! I promi–”

Dropping your bags by the door, you strided toward his figure. Pushing him against the wall, you pulled him in by the collar, melding his lips with yours.

The kiss was rough, angry, desperate — an amalgamation of everything you’ve felt in the past few hours going back and forth with Bokuto.

You pushed yourself into the space between his legs as he finally recovered from his shock and tried to match your tempo, his hands pulling you close into his body. Your teeth clashed together, and you had half the mind to bite his tongue in your mouth, but you held back.

Raking your fingers through his hair, you pulled his head back, ignoring his small, pained whine. The offensive mess of red and purple blotches still covered the expanse of his neck. A scowl grew on your face.

Bokuto yelped as he felt your lips latch onto his neck, sucking your own bruises over the ones already existing from his escapade. You were rough, unrelenting in your nearly-primal way of claiming him.

Trying to ignore your satisfaction from hearing his whimpers of your name, you pulled away, looking at your series of marks covering the ones from his other lover. The two of you were left panting — him trying to meet your eyes and you trying to avoid looking at him at all costs.

Leaning into his ear, you placed a gentle bite on his lobe. He tensed ever-so-slightly.

“You’ll never forgive me if I leave?” you hummed.

His hands that were under your shirt, roaming across your back, froze.

“B-Baby, wait, I didn’t–” He tried to plead with you until your next words completely shattered what was left of his broken, battered heart.

“I think I can live with that.”

You quickly backed away from him, evading his attempts to grab at your waist to stop you from leaving, and picked up your bags by the door. Looking back at him one last time, you nearly broke your facade.

After all he’s done, you still loved your Koutarou — no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise — and seeing him on his knees, sobbing, begging you not to leave for the umpteenth time, your will was wearing thin.

“Goodbye, Koutarou.”

The slam of the front door echoed across the remnants of his shattered heart and all he had the strength to do was cry. Pulling at the strands of his hair, he sobbed, begging into the air, weeping with no one to listen to him.

Without you, his world had no sky; everything was bathed in the shadow of your absence.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

tags: @katelyns-stuff @random-fandom-girl-24

[heresathreebee]

The One Where She Got A Dog

Yelena Belova X Reader

Summary: how Yelena became a dog mom Masterlist Part 2

Tags: E | 1.8k words | scary movie, winter, secret pasts, sapphic

AN: Black Widow movie really got me in my feelings about those characters, Yelena in particular. I havent watched The Thing in almost a year please look the other way if movie events are out of order.

Pretty Russian girls are not usually your type, but fuck if you weren't absolutely obsessed with this one. You laughed when she told you she was from Ohio.  She laughed when you said you were too. 

Aquavit and your grandma's biscuit recipe brought her into your cabin on the edge of the world where she admitted to you she had never seen John Carpenter's The Thing before. You turned it on just as the snow storm set in and wrapped up in your thickest blankets with her. You're trying not to get your hopes too high but she's not shy about asking you to scoot closer. 

"Skäl," you cheer just as the ominous opening credits end and they find the mysterious ship in the frozen wasteland of antarctica. 

"Have you ever been?," Yelena asked. 

You grimace at the strong taste of aquavit. It's like vodka but with caraway for 'flavor'. You look at her from the side and poor yourself a second shot. "Been…?" 

"There." She points at the screen. 

"I have actually," you admit in a way you hope is flat and uninteresting, "have you?" 

Yelena shook her head. It's possible she might think you're being sarcastic (you cross your fingers under the blanket and hope she does). She's smiling at you, thinking something (but still watching the screen with interest). 

She drops the subject until you have to pause the movie to pee. You unwrap yourself from the cocoon of blankets and as you stand she asks you another question. 

"What were you doing there? in Antarctica, I mean." 

You sigh and pretend to brush something off of your pants. "Science trip with my parents. Shitty vacation for me I'd rather be in the Bahamas." 

You resist the urge to look at her. After taking care of business, you come back just in time to put the biscuits in the oven. You hear Yelena lean into the kitchen archway as the floors creak immensely here. 

"No timer?," she asked. 

"No timer," you confirm. "I use the timer of my heart." 

Yelena scoffs. "Please don't burn them, I'm curious about these… what are they– pastries?" 

"Something like that." 

The two of you went back to the movie just as the gang on screen is trying to decipher who is human and who is not. You feel like something between you has changed and sadly not for the better. 

But she can't know. 

"I hate this part," you say, making absolutely no move to avert your gaze. 

Yelena is startled when the doctor's arms become trapped in the bear trap belly mouth of the "man" on the table. She quickly covers her eyes and giggles manically, slapping your chest for the vague and unhelpful warning. You realize she's not as close to you as before…

There's 20 minutes left of this movie and you haven't seen a single thing on screen. Yelena stopped asking you questions when you stopped being coherent with your answers. All you can think about is telling her. 

But you can't tell her. She would never understand. You barely understand and it's about you. 

"I lied." Your heart beats in your throat as you see her face you but you can't look at her directly for fear of losing your nerve. "About the science expedition? That's not why I was in Antarctica…" 

Yelena seems to wait for you to continue but… 

"Eh, no offense but, " you gesture with your hand, "I don't really know you like that." 

Yelena gave your reply a single nod. "I suppose that's fair." 

You can't help but fidget in your seat. "Idliketo" 

"What was that?" 

You cleared your throat. "I said… I said I'd like to. Know you like that, I mean…" 

Yelena gives you a smile. "I would like to know you like that, too." 

The movie ends, the biscuits are not burnt but buttery soft and golden brown, and the blizzard outside has subsided some. It's still going but at least it's not buffering the doors and windows like before. 

"How can you watch that film in a place like this?" Yelena cannot get enough of those biscuits, stuffing them in her mouth 2 at a time. "Does it make you paranoid?" 

"Yes it does," you say, putting your coat on, "I think that's what makes it so much scarier–  looking outside and being scared every person you come across ain't who they say they are. Sometimes its not a bad thing though... I think it is rather… poetic, too." 

Yelena's eyebrows furrow. "Where are you going?" 

You put on your boots and hope the duct tape stays on the hole you covered earlier. "Dogs are out in the shed. It's heated and they have food, but not for days and I'd rather have 'em in the house where I can take care of them." 

As you finished your sentence you reached for the door,  but stopped when you noticed Yelena getting dressed too. She gives you a nod as soon as her hood comes up, and you give this brave thing an appreciative once over. 

The snow that nearly all melted before is up to your knees now. Fresh, white, and fluffy. It muffles sound like the world's sidelong turning. The odd snowflake wafts lazily from the sky, but for the most part it's died down. You teach back and take Yelena's gloved hand to keep from staying too far apart. 

"You know I always wanted a dog," she said. She could have said it in a whisper from 100 yards away and you still would have heard her–  that is how eerily quiet it is. 

Yelena squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. She's probably remembering the movie. You try to distract her by saying, "Oh yeah? You can have one of mine then." 

Yelena laughs, then stops. "You serious?" 

"As a heart attack." You finally reach the door to the shed and unlatch the door. A chorus of barks begin and you charge forward to nudge them back to give Yelena space to come in as well. "I do some breeding up here–  just a side job. They're usually working dogs but they can be pets too." 

Buck licks your face from chin to forehead and you push him back. "Down, boy! Show some respect!" 

Yelena has two of the mongrels circling her, sniffing all her clothes and demanding to be pet. "That's Burt, Barney, and Bella. Buck's my stud, but these heathens are going to a farm. They've got sheep to watch." 

Yelena chuckles as her hands get covered in slobber. "I love them." 

They're almost grown, three quarters the height of their father. Buck didn't even look in Yelena's direction because he knows you give him treats. You take your scarf off as the heat of the shed threatens to smother you and search your pockets for jerky.  

"She's in there with the new puppies." You point to a darkened closet. "Don't get too close now, she's still a little protective." 

Yelena creeps closer. You see her look at you from the corner of her eye. Probably terrified by the morphing dog scene from the movie. You give her an encouraging smile and tell her where to find the light. It's a pull cord and it bathes the room in a warm golden yellow light. 

Yelena's heavy, controlled breathing turns into a coo. Mama dog is laying on her side watching the newcomer closely. There's a pup asleep in the nest of her legs, another chewing on the hay that litters the ground, and the last one is biting their mother's ear. Yelena looks back at you with an adorable pout on her lip. 

"So cute…" 

You chuckle and put your arm around her. Buck knows to steer clear of mama dog and slinks off. You make your guest walk closer with you to show mama she's got your confidence. 

"Yelena, this is Beyonce." Mama dog's ears perk at the sound of her name. "Beyonce, this is Yelena. Be nice." 

You reach down and scoop up the hay eating puppy at your feet. "This one's always hungry." 

You put the pup in her arms and scoop up the biter. "This one likes to play. All the time. Got more energy than the blue Energizer bunny actually." 

The pup in question is literally trying to wriggle out of your hands in its eagerness to climb you and eat your hair. 

"And that one sleeps a lot?" Yelena nodded her head at the last pup. 

"Pretty much." You put the writhing excited puppy down before it hurts itself and look up into the rafters. "And then there's the climber…" 

You both turn your heads when you hear a tiny bark. A cute little face stares down at you from the rafters and there's a feather stuck to its nose. You shake your head knowing this pup got it from ripping up pillows in another part of the dog house. 

"Better go get her," you said, not moving an inch to do so.  

Yelena sees your challenge and rises to it. As if trained to do exactly so, she assesses the wooden interior for foot and hand holds. You can see the wheels turning in her head as she calculates what will and won't support her weight. In the sweep of a single moment, she rises from the door and swings herself into the rafters using a build up a momentum to propel her fast in an upperward direction. She completes the climb and balances with ease, reaching out to collect the happy wagging miscreant from her mountain top, tucks her in her jacket and climbs a different way down. 

You stare at her. "Were you raised by trapeze artists?" 

Yelena laughs. "I thought everybody was." 

The pup is safe and happy and eager to explore its new friend. Yelena lets her lick, sniff, and scratch at her skin, her clothes, her hair. The pup catches Yelena with a tiny lick right on the tip of her nose and Yelena looks back at you with adoring eyes. 

You smile. "Got a name for her already don't you?" 

"Yes," Yelena whines, "no, are you sure about this? I should probably tell you I've never had a dog before…" 

"I can tell your good people," you reply. "And smart as a whip. You'll adapt, just call me if you ever need anything." 

~

Three weeks later you get a phone call from an unknown number. It's Yelena giving you an address and making you swear never to tell anybody about it. You don't have any friends so it's an easy secret to keep. 

You drive a few miles south and stumble upon a stationary trailer in the middle of nowhere, nothing but clearings and trees and sky. Actually very similar to your own home. 

The door opens and Yelena greets you with a beer and the pup under her arm, already almost a foot bigger than she was before. 

"Her name is Fanny." You both laugh yourselves hoarse and pile into the trailer to puppy proof the place.