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#but i do think loki would get sufficient sleep
lokisgoodgirl · 11 months
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A Long Way Down: The Lakes [Loki x Reader]
The Lakes Masterlist / Regular Masterlist Summary: (3) Following Loki's indecent proposal, you get yourself into a treacherous situation. Or maybe two. Warnings: Minors DNI. Smut references. Ex-Loki. Mild peril. Mild angst. Pining. Oh god, the pining. (w/c 4.6k) Recommended Folklore Track: This Is Me Trying
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At around five AM, you had accepted that two hours was the maximum amount of sleep that fate had intended for you that night.
The sight of Loki draped across your doorway greeted you every time you closed your eyes.
The moon-slicked skin which begged to be grasped so tightly it bruised, if only for a short time. Those sharp angles in his jawline which fitted so perfectly between your legs. No.
Slipping out of bed, you manoeuvred on your clothes. Natasha would be proud, you thought, grabbing your gloves. Sufficiently bundled, you began the descent down the murky darkness. Of ten stairs, miraculously only four creaked. You paused after every one, listening for a stir from one of the bedrooms. But none came. Since you had slammed the door on Loki, your mind had been a beehive. You had lain there, trying not to move, trying to sleep, trying to think about anything but him. But his velvet voiced temptations and audacity wound around your thoughts like the cottage’s ivy. Wilting like a woman ravaged by thirst with a river rushing on the other side of that traitorous wall.
You hastily scribbled a note in the kitchen, grabbed the spare key and a small rucksack from the hallway hooks. Crisp cold hit like a slap as you opened the door and slipped through. The latch clicked closed.
It sounded like freedom.
A wide circle from the flashlight led your way, noting familiar moss-covered fenceposts and scattered stone path. You took a right at the boundary, seeing the milky promise of a red sunrise ghosting over the mountain. It would be a three hour round-trip to the top of Blencathra, you reckoned. Back in time for breakfast. As you walked, weak sunlight began to crawl the hedgerows. Frosted orange leaves underfoot became wetter. Like cornflakes, you mused, left too long in milk.
You’d had the same observation last autumn when Loki had walked beside you through Central Park, his gloved hand in yours. He’d interrupted with a familiar elaborate description of the palatial breakfasts he’d been served on Asgard. One you’d heard a hundred times before. ‘Every day, mountains of succulent fruit from the god-tree; warm date loaves and bread so glossy it reflected the very sun-” ‘-with the almond glaze.’ you’d muttered knowingly, the implication clear. His grin had widened obliviously.
‘With the almond glaze. Much superior to the cereals so favoured in this realm. I don’t know why humanity puts up with such trash, no wonder you’re all so...someone should do something.’
Loki was a lot of things. He was wild, and powerful; passionate and imposing. He was fiercely loving with kindness that ran as a hot spring runs beneath unforgiving glaciers. When he wanted it to.
His adoration was intoxicating, addicting in a way you had never experienced. When he saw you, he saw only you. Like no other creature existed. The haze had filled you like opium, drunk to all the condescending commentary that chipped at the exterior until it cracked.
And when it cracked, it shattered.
Memories of his dark curls sprawled across your pillow haunted you, the feel of silken strands cutting into your fingertip as you twirled it. He had never been good at keeping to his side of the bed. The words that he whispered when the world wasn’t watching, meant only for you. It seemed like a dream now. And maybe it was.
Perhaps it always had been.
The warmth in his eyes as his thumb caressed your jawline still smouldered as hopeful embers in the depths of your heart. They longed for him, biding their time like jackals in shadows to drag you back to his arms.
And wanting him, that hadn’t left. You doubted it ever would. Loving Loki was a high. And it was a long way down.
If only he could just act like a normal human being, you thought as you drew the wind-breaker further up your throat. And there, you laughed bitterly to yourself in the eerie quiet, is the problem.
It wasn’t his fault, not really. Or was it? You could never tell. And that doubt ate away at you like mice at the skirting boards.
The cold distance between you had been necessary. Self-preservation. And besides occasionally missing the mischief you created together, you doubted he thought of you much at all. The world was full of fawning mortals, after all. He never tired of pointing that out. You certainly doubted he lacked for company.
The thought made you feel queasy. ‘Love’, he’d once mused, ‘is different for a god. We don’t love as you humans do.’
He had paused, snapping his book closed as you lay in his lap before planting a placatory kiss on your nose.
‘You wouldn’t understand’, he’d murmured. And despite your coaxing, that had been the end of it.
It was for the best. That’s what you told yourself when that twisting heartache reared in the dead of night.
But still, you wished you’d had one last kiss, even if you’d known that’s what it was. You looked up at the moon, peeling from the sky and disappearing beneath early-morning mist as you walked briskly towards the mountain’s craggy steep. One last kiss before the lights went out.
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As soon as the regrettable words had left Loki’s lips, he knew he’d fucked up. The door-slam was loud. Very loud. And he couldn’t go back to his room, not in his condition. Especially under the circumstances. In the darkness he had picked his way downstairs, cat-like, and had an angry wank in the bathroom. It was perfunctory and mostly silent. And Loki cursed his blasted impatience with every rough tug of his hand. Feeling raw, but more clear-headed, he sat in the living room a while. Moonlight threw a milky hue against the furniture. The carpet almost looked clean under its forgiving sheen. It may have been mice, but he was sure that he could hear the hushed, girlish chatter of his brother and Rogers upstairs, their theories abounding. With growing horror, Loki realised that his brother had been right about not one, but two things that night.
First, that the demise of you and he’s relationship was indeed his doing. The look in your eyes as he presented himself like a charmless commoner had made that abundantly clear. And secondly, the repugnant reclining chair on which he sat was indeed, very comfortable. Thankful at least for the latter, Loki fished down the side for a blanket he’d seen earlier. He sniffed it suspiciously, before throwing it to drape down over his feet. Something about the ragged, scratchy edging made him feel closer to you. Penitent, almost.
Shall I wear sackcloth and ashes, would that suffice?
The thought came intrusively, but behind his subconscious theatrics, there was a morsel of truth. There was something about this place. And there was something about you in it. Perhaps there was something about him too. Something new being birthed, clawing for freedom against scar tissue of old wounds. His brother’s voice played in his mind. ‘Well that could mean all manner of things, brother.’ he’d said. ‘You are insufferable.’ The god closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Perhaps, he thought, I should be thankful for that too. It meant he may be able to fix it. Loki slept soundly in the ugly chair. So soundly, that he didn’t hear the creak of footsteps that came before the first shards of daybreak, nor the soft close of a drawer, nor the click of the latch as you slipped outside into the dark morning alone.
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You felt upwards, pads of your fingertips scratching against rough, uneven stone. Searching. The ridge was steeper than you’d anticipated. And you’d been so distracted by winning the imaginary shouting-match going on in your brain, that you had made the most basic error a climber could make. And the most serious.
Your fingers grasped around a jut of rock, feet slipping. Pressing your back against the opposite rockface, you glanced upwards to a large overhang on the ridge that somehow you hadn’t spotted. A chill sliced through your belly as you realised there was no way up. And there was no way down. Your boot slipped against the ledge, making you brace. Fuck fuck fuck. Even Steve wouldn’t make that drop without a couple of broken legs. Or worse. You were stuck. No, not stuck. Fucking crag-fast.
Tears welled in your eyes, a giggle of panicked disbelief threatening low in your middle as you tilted your chin to the sky. The ridge was cut into the mountain, and beyond the overhang, heavy dark clouds were gathering at alarming speed. No one knew you were here. You were fucked.
Closing your eyes, you focused on steadying your heart-rate. ‘Breathe, love’ Loki used to whisper as he stroked your hair. The beat of your heart slowed to a faint thump. The distress widget. Your eyes flew open. Steve had insisted that everyone have an alarm built into their belt, to be worn at all times. It didn’t seem so silly now.
Tentatively, you removed one hand from the rough ridge-face, the crumbling stones beneath your feet making it fly back immediately. You could feel the alarm at the base of your spine, no bigger than a jeans button. If you could just...press it.
Slowly, you began to wiggle your hips back and forth; trying to catch it on something. It caught, a low beep making your heart soar. “ACTIVATE,” you yelled. More stone pellets fell like dried rice. You could only pray Steve had the receiver nearby.
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Time passed as a crawl. The sun had risen but somehow, it was still dark. Everything ached. Had it be three minutes or three hours? You were sure the pain in your limbs would be the same either way. How could I be so fucking stupid, you raged silently. At some point, you’d begun to cry.
Had you actually pressed the distress button? Fear fluttered in your stomach. Despite the chill and growing winds, you could feel a uncomfortable damp gathering beneath your clothes. Steve was going to be so pissed when he turned up. If he turned up. More crumbles of rock scattered around your forehead from above. It was followed by a low chuckle. “I can think of easier ways to get me alone, Agent.” Your neck snapped up, not believing your eyes.
Loki sat casually on his haunches atop the overhang, wrists falling between his knees. His thighs were spread, emerald leather looking viscerally luscious against the darkening sky. Dark hair whipped around his brow, his eyes flashing downward as a smile twisted one side of his mouth. “I’m stuck,” you whimpered.
Loki’s smile grew. He tutted. “Not just stuck, Agent. Crag-fast, I believe is the term.” You released an exasperated sigh. “Does it matter?” “Well it was right in Rogers briefing pamphlet. In the hazards section, nestled between blue-green algae and wayward tourists.”
You stared at him, thinking violent thoughts.
“Are you wearing your armour?” you spat. “Your not supposed to be...Loki, just-” Your feet slipped again.
“-for your rescue Madam? Only full regalia will do.” The dazzling smile which accompanied his words made you want to punch him in the face.
���Just fucking get me out of here!”
Loki’s face changed, the mirth in his eyes melting to something akin to concern. “Alright, alright…I am simply attempting to lighten the mood-” he muttered, reaching down. His arm glinted gold, its normal brilliance dulled by the shrouded sun. With all the strength you had, you reached up. You could feel your feet give out below you just as Loki’s hand wrapped around your bicep. With one fell swoop he heaved you upwards, suspended in the air before you fell upon him.
Loki rolled back, gathering you close to his chest. His palm cupped the back of your skull, the other hand safely pressed to the base of your back. You were vaguely aware of the scrape of his boots against the rock as he drew up his legs, the perfect cage of your protection.
“You’re safe now,” he breathed quietly to the sky. His heart was thundering, thuds pulsing through his breastplate. You nodded, silent sobs thrumming your body just as the first drops of rain began to fall.
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Thirty minutes later, you and Loki had finally descended the ridge. He had managed to source an easier path with only the most necessary of communication. It had been slow, an ever-present pang in your ankle making you wince when the god’s back was turned. Confident that all your concentration was no longer needed, you decided to ask the question. “Why did you come?” As soon as the words left your mouth, you grimaced. How could you think about them for so long, yet still find the wrong ones? Loki glanced over his shoulder, eyes narrowed. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m grateful you did-” you grovelled. “I mean, Steve made such a big deal about the whole belt button thing I just wondered why he sent you? Didn’t think he’d miss the chance to give me a lecture the whole way home.” You stared at the back of Loki’s head, swallowing. Rain was falling harder now, rustling patter crinkling against your jacket. “Rogers didn’t send me,” the god said coldly, still walking forwards. “I suspect he’s still tucked up under those abysmally threaded bedsheets.”
You hobbled faster, catching up to him. “What do you mean?” “I was downstairs. The receiver was in the kitchen.” You let your eyes wander over the sprawling landscape. Thirlmere lake lay flat in the distance, a grey mirror to the sky. “Why was it in the kitchen?” you mused absent-mindedly. “Well I don’t know, Agent” Loki spat. “Perhaps Rogers wasn’t anticipating a member of our party sneaking out before dawn on a misguided attempt at independence.” “And what’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped, stare burning into Loki’s profile as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Nothing. It means nothing.” he muttered. His eyes scanned the horizon. It was a long way down. “Don’t be like that-” “Like what, Agent?” Loki fumed, spinning with a flourish which made the cut of his leathers swirl around his ankles.
The clouds crushing the sky were matched only by the ones gathering in his eyes, both menacingly beautiful in the rawness of their power.
“Rush to your side at the break of day, in an unknown land to a hastily deduced location only to be met with suspicion and incredulity that I would ever think to aid your distress unless under duress? Am I truly so irredeemable?” You felt the hair on your arms stand up, hackles raised. “Well I wouldn’t have needed to get away for a while if you hadn’t been such a presumptive arsehole last night,” “Oh – I see,” Loki said, nodding sarcastically as his hands flew up. “Of course. My fault, as usual.”
He spun away, walking ahead. “Keep up” he bristled loudly. You muttered curses under your breath. The pain was getting worse. Looking up, you were met with Loki’s icy glare over his shoulder. “What is it?” he snapped, trying to remain indifferent. But his eyebrows always gave him away. “I twisted my ankle or something on the ridge,” you sighed.
Loki rolled his eyes. “See – there!” you whined, gesturing. “Right there. Why do you need to roll your eyes at that?”
He stiffened, hands moving to his hips. “Will you allow me to carry you?” he drawled, evading the question. “No I can make it, it’s not that far” you lied. Loki nodded, circling back towards you. “At least take my arm,” he sniffed, offering it forth. And with a reluctant sigh, you took it.
“You need to change your clothes, Loki.” You looked up, meeting the indignant glare you knew would be waiting. “You said it yourself. Hazards: wayward tourists. When Steve finds out about me, he’ll be pissed. If he finds out about you rumbling us, he’ll be catatonic.” Loki released a ragged exhale. “Fine,” he griped. In a blinding flash, luxe emerald battle leathers transformed to the thoroughly beige ensemble from yesterday. “Better?” he smarmed, the sarcasm palpable. “Meh,” you replied. A knowing smirk was exchanged. It warmed the air between you.
“So listen,” you said tentatively, hobbling at his side. “Earlier, you said something about being irredeemable-” “-yes,” Loki cut. You felt his shoulders roll, his demeanour hardening again. “I’m trying to be...trying to, adapt myself. It’s a work in progress. So far it is proving...arduous. Last night was evidence of that.” “Oh. Well...I just meant that you're not irredeemable. We weren’t right together, I know that. You can’t help being a god and a prince and all the eh...attributes, that come from that, and it was wrong of me to...expect you to change? I don’t know.” The two of you picked your way over the uneven track in silence, heart sinking into your stomach before Loki cleared his throat.
“As I understand it, the habits of a lifetime are hard to break even for mortals,” he said, swirling his wrist with a flourish. “Imagine then, what it is like for me.” You threw him an incredulous stare. He frowned. “I understand that my explanation lends weight to your inaugural grievance but you cannot deny the logic” he muttered bitterly.
You licked your bottom lip, heart thumping as you eased the can of worms open. “So what you’re saying is that you agree with...the things I said you were?”
Your heart ached at the memory of the indifference in his eyes as you left him that day. ‘Haughty. Condescending. Unwaveringly arrogant.’
You had been so angry. So angry at his unwillingness to change. To be open to the possibility of change, after everything you had been through together. All the love, so-called, that you had shared. It wasn’t enough – how could you have thought it would be? And he had just sat, crossed-legged on the sofa as you bubbled over the brim. ‘Are we done here?’ he’d said coldly, like concluding a business transaction. In the end, you’d conceded, that the person you were most enraged at was yourself. Loki frowned deeper, staring ahead. You wondered if he was revisiting the same memory. Like loitering at the crevice of a haunted cellar, peering in. His fingers wrapped around yours, still gripping his forearm.
“Well, yes” he replied cautiously. “But I was never expected to be anything else. There was no need – I thought it was just...me. That it was inevitable. It’s all I’ve known.” You opened your mouth and closed it again. “Consider the leaves,” Loki said with a wave of his hand to the multi-coloured foliage littering the skyline. “Those over there...retain their summer green.” He pointed further down the ridge.
“And those, have turned to that rusted maroon you like so much.” He looked to you, features softening. “Does the green leaf know that it is to turn? To change and ebb? Does it have expectation of rebirth?” “It is pretty humble for you to compare yourself to a leaf, I’ll give you that” you mumbled, limping over a pile of scattered cow shit. Loki stopped abruptly, sliding his arm from yours and cupping your shoulders in his hands. His eyes were wide, running over your face as his brows slanted. “Darling, please let me carry you” he whispered earnestly. “Let me help you.” You considered telling him to fuck off, but one brief glance at the endless uneven path stretching down to the forest made you pause. “Fine,” you sighed. “But don’t call me darling. We don’t do that anymore.” A small smile pressed against Loki’s cheeks, making his dimples flash. Immediately he crouched, extending his arms with palms facing up. You shuffled between them, adopting the position.
The beige fleece Loki was wearing did nothing to stop the warmth of his hard chest seeping through your clothes, a thick waft of his natural musk filling your nostrils. With one hand looped behind his neck, clasping the other, you tried to imagine a world where this sweetness wasn’t everything you desperately wanted.
“See?” he postured absent-mindedly as he picked his way down the path with ease. “I can be charming.” Glad of the change of topic, you kept your tone to one of mild interest. “Who says you aren’t charming?” “My brother,” he growled quietly. A snort of unexpected laughter erupted from your throat. You looked to him, faces inches apart. The crawl of Loki’s bemused gaze from your lips to your eyes made your heart skip.
“It’s just…” you started guiltily, searching the depths of his brilliantly blue irises. Even in the gathering gloom of the storm, they sparked. “I-” “I understand,” he said abruptly, looking forward again. His lips formed a hard line, the blade of his cheekbone deepening as his face set. Whatever Loki thought you had meant to say, it was not the truth. But somehow, the truth was harder to muster now than the fiction where you couldn’t stand him. You felt him readjust his grip on your waist, fingers sinking into the soft fleece beneath your rainjacket.
“You are charming,” you whispered against the wind. It was supposed to sound comforting. Platonic. But a part of you hoped that it wouldn’t. Against your better judgement, you curled the hair on his furthest shoulder behind his ear before knitting your fingers again. “Thor isn’t one to talk, anyway.” “Rogers confirmed it,” Loki rebutted harshly, the words catching in his throat. He was very pointedly not looking at you, you noticed. “Steve isn’t one to talk either,” you chuckled, before sighing. Rain fell heavier now, thick droplets landing on your forehead and following the tracks of forgotten tears.
You watched it fall against Loki’s brow, a silken sheen of moisture coating the milk-wild perfection you’d kissed every inch of in your time together. A lone droplet rolled down his temple, following the gutter of his cheekbone before dripping languidly down his chin. It lingered on his jawline, taking the long way down before falling. “Are you alright, Agent?” Loki murmured.
He’d been watching.
Thunder rolled overhead as you nodded slowly, rain clinging to your lashes. Hair was plastered to his cheeks now, inky tendrils winding across alabaster skin like oil on snow. His grip around your body tightened, looking upwards. “Hold on tight,” he growled.
You barely had time to process his words before a torrent unleashed overhead, battering against the ground as Loki began a run down the hill. “M-magic t-to dry-?” you gasped as every stride of his strong legs knocked the breath from your lungs.
“It is fruitless against the English onslaught,” Loki yelled over the storm’s sudden din. “Believe me.” You buried your face in his neck, the heat of your breath against his wet skin conjuring images of lazy mornings spent fucking in his shower. How steam filled the room like Vatican smoke, heralding the joyus arrival of your climax over and over.
Loki would hold you safe against the wall, his large palms cupping your ass and guiding you towards pleasure you had never experienced before. And never would again. The sweet pants of praise he released wetly against your skin, the splatter from his sodden hair as he snapped his neck back in ecstasy. The squeak of his enormous hand running down the glass shield as he came undone inside you. It would haunt your mind forever. The ghost in the cellar.
And now, just like then, there was nothing to do but hold on. Your grip tightened around his neck, the flat of his thigh hitting your ass every so often when, presumably, he cleared a tree trunk.
Every nerve beneath your skin was on fire, each movement jolting life into feelings you had tried to smother. You were acutely aware of your lips parting against the curve of his neck, delicate skin hovering above his own.
Taunting yourself, you brushed against him; sucking your own breath back from the rebound. The fine hairs on his skin tingled your lips, sending twisting aches of desire between your thighs. Loki veered to the left, thrusting your face against his neck. Involuntarily the grip around him tightened, clasping his skin to your lips in a desperate, if accidental, embrace.
And suddenly, it was gone. Loki had lowered you to the ground, standing back abruptly. He stood triangular, legs apart like a soldier.
The fabric of his clothes was dark, saturated with water and clinging to his lithe body like a second skin. It hung against the marbled muscle, tracking every deep line carved into his thighs and plastering the bulge of his crotch in a way that could only be described as obscene.
The stare he held was formidable, two distantly smouldering eyes set with purpose which observed from beneath heavily knitted brows. Hands clasped ceremonially behind his back, he lowered his chin and nodded to the side. With disappointment, you realised you were back at the cottage. Loki had stopped in a small clearing, and the dismal looking residence couldn’t be more than fifty meters away. “I thought you could go ahead” he said, raking his fingers through sodden hair. It slathered back from his face, the sharp lines glinting. “That way, Rogers will never need to know there was an...incident. I will follow after an appropriate interval with an appropriate excuse.”
“Come with me,” you said incredulously, wiping a swathe of water from your cheek. As Loki shook his head, you found you couldn’t stop yourself. “I want them to know you helped, it was my fault I was stupid, I got myself fucking crag-fast like an idiot...and hurt and you-” “No.” was Loki’s staunch response.
The lonely sound of rain on the tree canopy rustled.
Brow furrowing, you stepped closer and brushed down his arm, drawing one hand out from behind his back. It sat limply in yours. “Come with me,” you pleaded.
Loki frowned, staring at your hand holding his own. As if it was not his own. And with aching clarity, you realised this was him trying. “I fear, under the circumstances, I would not be able to contain myself from being…” he swallowed thickly, cricking his neck to the side before continuing, “-myself.” You stared at him, and he at you.
There was a flutter of wet leaves beneath his feet as he shuffled. “Really, you should go you’ll catch your dea-” And just like that, without thinking, you had crossed the space between you.
Like an out of body experience, hands slid over his sodden shoulders, pulling his parted lips to yours mid-words. Warmth flooded your body as his frozen arms slowly made a cage around your waist, sliding down your back like you would shatter beneath his touch.
His tongue slipped cautiously between your lips. It grew with each passing second to a raging hunger in every all-consuming jut muscle against your own. It felt like home. Your fingers tangled in clumped strands of hair against his scalp, teeth clashing while fears were forgotten. If only for now. For now, you wanted to love him. “Loki,” you moaned into his mouth.
His name held weight when you said it like that.
His hands searched your body, never settling in one place, grasping at the jacket which crackled and slid beneath his fingers. Loki panted, cupping your chin before delving deeper.
Every unspoken word, every abandoned touch, each lingering glance that ate away at you in the dead of night flooding from your body to his in that kiss.
“Darling,” he breathed as he held you still. His wet forehead pressed against yours. Your eyes were still closed, waiting for his return. Nerves fluttered in your chest, your stomach; happiness that you daren’t have hoped for sloshing at the edges of your sanity. You couldn’t think.
“Darling,” he repeated stiffly, a gentle shake of his grip urging your eyes open. “I can’t-” he said solemnly, as you opened your eyes. You felt words forming – ‘Don’t call me darling’ - or maybe it was a scream. But a single finger to your lips silenced it, whatever it would have been. “Go.” he said. And he meant it. And as you felt the scream rise again in your throat, you did.
Loki’s watch followed you all the way to the door as he lingered on the edge of the forest. You could feel his gaze as keenly as though it were his hands. How you wished that memory was as hard to conjure as it had been before daybreak. Through the window, you could see Thor buttering crumpets.
One last kiss, you thought; hoping the rain would mask your tears from the others inside.
One last kiss before the lights went out.
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>>>> Chapter Four: Home Truths Tags
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nyxlaufeyson · 6 months
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Put to the Test (Pandora's Box)- Chapter 8
Main Masterlist - Pandora's Box Masterlist
A/N: Kinda basic chapter, we all probably saw it coming, but necessary and I think unique enough to be enjoyable.
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The rainbow colors engulfed them once again, and Pandora arrived back on Midgard with a weight newly lifted off her shoulders. Loki and Thor stood next to her, and they landed on a grassy patch behind the tower.
Tony and several other Avenger’s were waiting there for them, and so the trio went up to them. Pandora received congratulations on her newfound freedom, and Tony insisted they all went inside for drinks. He was a bit wary that Loki was still there, since he was supposed to leave after they found Pandora, but Thor explained that he was there under official Asgardian orders. Plus, there was a case that required magic expertise. Despite the many rough patches in the relationship between Loki and the Avengers, they could use his help.
They made it to the common rooms, and Pandora took a seat next to Loki on a couch. Drinks were passed around, and she happily took one. Natasha was sitting nearby, and struck up conversation. “So, what are you going to do now?”
Pandora shrugged. “Not entirely sure. I suppose I shall just take things one step at a time. Although, I would like to get out of my current dingy apartment. Never liked the place, but it was convenient for the situation I was in.” 
At this, Tony made his way to a seat across from her. “I know a place, if you're interested.” He said, and the other people in the room seemed to suddenly be listening in to their conversation.
She raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Pray tell, where might this place be?”
Tony sent her a smirk. “Just in the heart of New York. Fast-running wifi and all the amenities you’ll ever need. All while running on a clean, self-sufficient energy source. Although, it does come with a job.”
Pandora caught on quickly, and she narrowed her eyes. “And what would this job entail?” She asked. At this point, most other conversations in the room had ceased, everyone focused on her and Tony. 
“You know, saving the world, superhero stuff, all that jazz.” Tony said, taking a confident swig of his drink. “It’s got a nice salary, you know, and plenty of benefits.”
She looked around the room, eyes flickering from Avenger to Avenger. Could this really be her life? Could she be one of them? “I wouldn’t want to impose.” 
Natasha laughed. “Impose? Please. You seem level-headed enough, and me and Wanda need help keeping these idiots in check.”
Tony threw his hands to his chest in mock offense. “Who are you calling an idiot?!” He exclaimed, before turning back to Pandora. “Seriously though, we already took a team vote. Well, except for Thor, because he wasn’t here. Thor?”
Thor gave her a grin. “You’ve got great potential. I would be honored to have you as a teammate.” 
That left one person who hadn’t had a say. Of course, Loki might not be viewed as a normal Avenger, but it still mattered to Pandora. She turned her glance to him, and he gave her a silent nod in confirmation.
“Well then, when do I start?” 
~~~~~
It took less than a week before Pandora felt more at home in the tower than she had in centuries. Wherever she had lived in the past, it was always with the notion that it was temporary. She never felt the need for any decorations or too much furniture, as it was going to be left behind anyway.
Even the few times she did try to decorate those places, they never were ‘home.’ It was just the place where she happened to sleep in. 
As she sat in her new room, on an extremely comfortable couch, she looked at everything she had done to it. When she first got the room, it was already pretty nice and furnished. But, they had given Pandora full creative control, so she used it to make things a bit more her style.
There was a bookshelf that she used to hold all her novels in one corner, with a little reading nook set up next to it. Blue accents were everywhere in the room, matching the shade of her hair. She had a desk set up as well, with a new Stark computer sitting on top. Beside it, the flowers her brother had gifted her in the vase that Loki had conjured. It was odd that they hadn’t wilted.
But it wasn’t the luxurious room that made the place feel homey, it was the people. Even if she hadn’t yet formed deep connections with her new teammates, she wasn’t in solitude. Everyone was friendly and she enjoyed their company. As much as she tried to be independent, and she was, she could not deny her need for companionship.
A knock sounded at her door, so she got up and opened it to find Loki. Out of everyone in the tower, Loki had to be her favorite. Not only had they hit it off on Asgard, but there was just something about him that made Pandora feel seen. After decades of hiding, she found herself desperately wanting to be seen.
He smiled at her, and she smiled back. “Are you ready?” He asked, and Pandora nodded. Today, she was set to be evaluated on her abilities. This would help them sort out what her strengths and weaknesses were, so that they could assign missions based on skill sets.
Even if she was confident in herself and her abilities, she was still nervous. Most, if not all, of the Avengers would be watching and assessing her. She might not know everyone on a deep and personal level yet, but she still yearned for their acceptance. What if they thought she wasn’t good enough?
Loki seemed to notice her inner turmoil. “Are you nervous?” He asked, and she gave him a sheepish smile. 
“A little.” Pandora admitted with a shrug. She knew that it wasn’t logical that they would be unimpressed, but she couldn’t help it. Not after being rejected once by the people she loved.
He patted her on the shoulder as they walked down the hall. “You shouldn’t be. Everyone save for me and Thor are human, yet you are not. That already gives you a jump on strength, stamina, and speed. When you filter in the magic, you exceed each and every person in this tower. Except for me, of course.”
Pandora laughed, and Loki chuckled. “Gods, you are so full of yourself!” She joked.
He shrugged with a smirk. “When you’re surrounded by idiots, it is often hard to not be.” His smirk softened. “But, really, only a few of us here have magic. Sure, Thor has lightning, but it’s not really magic. That’s just a singular trick. But me and you, even the red witch, we are the ones that can really do some damage.”
His words soothed her, and they made it to their destination. They had to split, since Loki needed to go up and behind the room to a viewing area, behind reinforced glass. He turned to her, looking her in the eyes. “Good luck. Not that you’ll need it” 
He gave her a genuine smile, and she nodded. “Thanks.” With that, he departed, and she stood in front of two large, heavy-looking doors.
With a deep breath, she opened them and walked in. The room was huge, and at least a few stories high. The walls were stark white with weird metal plates spaced out over them. In the corner of the room lay weaponry. She was told that the room was a simulation room, where technology was used to simulate different situations and scenarios. 
Somehow, the technology was advanced to the point where she would be able to feel some things, but she wouldn’t get seriously hurt. For example, she could feel and take punches, but a knife wouldn’t be able to puncture through her skin. 
On the very upper part of the front wall, was a dark glass window. Craning her neck upwards, she was able to make out Tony and the others. Loki was up there with them, and he sent her an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.
After a moment, the speakers allowed her to hear them through the wall. “Alright, Princess Leia, let’s see what you’ve got.”
Pandora rolled her eyes. Tony, ever the nickname-giver, had taken to calling her Princess Leia. All because of her hair, that always seemed to be in space buns. They weren’t even the same style, since Pandora’s were braided at the top, but he didn’t care. Apparently, the hairstyle was enough of a similarity to gain her a semi-permanent nickname.
“We’re going to start with simple enough stuff,” Tony informed her, “Go ahead to that table in the corner and pick a close combat weapon.”
She looked over the table of sharp tools and weapons. Each of them had different pros and cons, good for different situations. “Do I get any information on what I’m going to be doing?”
If she squinted hard enough, she could make out Tony shaking his head. “Nope. You might not get that information about the field either. Sometimes, you gotta make do. All you know is that you will be in close proximity with the enemy.”
Pandora sighed, settling on a pair of daggers. A sword would be good for something large and singular, but daggers were easier to fight multiple beings at once. She just hoped she wouldn’t be asked to fight some sort of dragon. Daggers wouldn’t be of much help then.
When she turned back to the front wall with daggers in hand, the lights in the room changed their hue, and she saw holograms begin to form. “And one more thing,” she heard Tony say, “avoid using magic.”
With this, she frowned. “What?” She asked. “Why?”
“Never know when it won’t be accessible, plus we need to see your combat skills without any magical aid, now, stand in the middle on the black x” He said, and she nodded, moving to the center of the room where there was an ‘x’ taped.
Suddenly, the room turned blue as a graphical, intangible wall swept the room. No longer was she in a near-empty space, but instead in a grass field. Six people appeared in a circle around her, and she held her daggers at the ready. 
The first one lunged at her, so she kicked them in the stomach and turned around to meet her two more of them about to pounce. She took her daggers and stabbed each in the stomach, quickly pulling the weapons back out of the flesh before continuing to fight.
Fighting six individuals at once proved difficult, but not impossible. As long as she focused her attention on whoever was closest to landing a blow, taking them out, and moving on, she was fine. After going back around to all six, making sure they were out for good, the bodies of the enemies disappeared. 
A television–sized hologram screen popped up in front of her, and she read her statistics. Five minutes and thirty-two seconds, six enemies down, and, most importantly when on the real battlefield, no fatal wounds received.
The grassland disappeared, and the old room came back. “Good job,” Tony’s voice projected from the viewing room, “hold onto those daggers, that was just a warm-up. Now we’re going to send you to a city that is actively being destroyed. Your goal is to eliminate as many of the enemies as possible, while helping to get civilians to safety. There is a building with a horse statue outside, that’s where you want to get all the civilians.”
Pandora nodded. “And how do I differentiate the enemy from the public?” She asked, although she figured the enemy might not be visibly different. 
“Well, if they’re shooting at you, I would say it’s safe to assume that they’re the bad guy.” Tony said, and Pandora rolled her eyes at the obvious. “This simulation will be longer than the first, since it is the major team situation that we must be prepared for. Try not to kill any civilians.”
A table appeared in front of her, with different guns and weapons. “Grab whatever you need for this, and don’t worry about the bullets ricocheting off the walls. There are no real bullets in them, although you’ll feel the recoil. Oh, and for this you can use your magic.”
She was glad to be able to use her magic, it always boosted her confidence in her performance, even if she could kick ass without them. Stepping up to the table, she grabbed a simple handgun and created a magic holster to hold it. She held onto one of the daggers, putting the other away so she could use her fingers to work her magic without interference. 
The room around her faded away, and it was replaced with what appeared to be a copy of a half-destroyed San Francisco. Pandora had actually lived in San Francisco for a few months, but it was too hot for her liking.
She surveyed her surroundings for a moment before she heard footsteps in her direction. She hid behind a broken wall, peeking out to see a man in a black mask with a gun. Right behind him was a small child and their mother, attempting to hide. Pandora wanted to go ahead and strike the man, but she had to confirm that he was the enemy and not some random civilian who happened to be wearing a mask. He did have a gun, but it also was an extreme situation. It was America, like it or not, lots of people had guns and would probably use them at the end of the world.
The child with the woman made a sound, and the man turned around and pointed the gun at them. That was all the reason Pandora needed before tackling the man to the ground and disarming him. She used magic to knock him out, not wanting to scare the child. It might be a fake child, but it made her feel better. She had scared enough people as it was. 
“Follow me.” She said to them, although she was unsure where the building she needed to get them too was. Picking a direction, she tracked her way through the rubble, stopping every now and then to take down an enemy that decided to pop up. 
Unfortunately, one caught her by surprise and managed to knock her to the ground. Before he could do anything, though, she flicked her fingers and his neck snapped. It wasn’t messy, the only evidence was a loud pop. 
She got up and found a few stragglers here and there, and soon enough she was leading a group of around ten. Because it was just her luck, she heard a cluster of voices just around the corner. She rushed the people into a nearby building, telling them to stay put for a moment.
There was a group of five outside, and not all of them were human. In fact, one looked like an octopus. But now wasn’t the time for pictures, so she grabbed her gun and quickly shot two in the head before ducking behind a car. 
As the two she shot fell to the ground, gunshots and yells were thrown her way. Working under the assumption that the two she shot were already incapacitated, she moved to the right of the car and threw a piece of trash she had grabbed to the left. 
The three remaining foes went towards the sound, giving her the opportunity to shoot two more in the back of the head. The last man managed to turn around in time to fire out a round at her, so she had to roll and hide again. While she did this, she dropped her gun, so she opted for magic instead. 
She didn’t see the man fall through the hole she created in the ground, but she could hear him scream as he reappeared a hundred feet in the sky and plummeted to the ground. Satisfied, she went back to where the civilians were and got them out. In the distance, she saw the designated safe building with the horse statute, and managed to get everyone in without incident. 
This went on for a while: locating civilians, eliminating any threat, and getting said civilians to safety. She was pretty confident she did fine. It wasn’t exactly hard, and she even found herself having some fun. Maybe joining the Avengers would be something that proved to be a good thing. 
Eventually the room faded back to normal and her statistics showed up in front of her. 
She had spent  twenty-eight minutes in the simulation, eliminated 26 enemies, and gotten all of the civilians to safety without receiving fatal wounds.
“Good going Leia.” Tony said while she could hear a little clapping from the room around him. “That was the main portion of the test. But, there’s one last thing for us to test.”
Steve turned to Tony. “There’s only two parts. What are you planning on doing?” 
Tony ignored the captain, continuing to speak to Pandora while pressing buttons on his screen. “Use whatever weapons you need, and your magic. You’ll be needing it.”
And with that, Pandora was sent into a sandy desert. There was nothing around her, and all she could see was sand and a blue-gray sky. She even felt the wind, blowing small specks of sand on her. 
At first she didn’t see anyone, but as she looked closer, she spotted a herd of people charging towards her. Enough of a crowd that it wasn’t feasible for anyone to fend them off alone. “Seriously?” She called, although she wasn’t sure who she was talking to. The window enclosing the team was invisible to her.
Unbeknownst to her, Steve was shaking his head in the viewing room. “Seriously? Tony, you pull this shit on all the new recruits. I’d like to see you try to hold your own in there.”
Tony grinned with a shrug. “What? It’s not like they can really hurt her. I like to see who can beat the latest record of how many of them someone can take down before they receive a simulated fatal wound.”
Natasha shook her head. “This is why people don’t like you, Tony.” 
He put his hand to his chest in offense. “What do you mean? Everyone likes me, Natalia.” Natasha rolled her eyes and Tony chuckled. 
“Anyways, as I was saying before Natasha insinuated that people don’t like me, Witch Wanda over there,” he pointed to Wanda, “holds the high score of a hundred and twelve. Which is slightly scary.” 
Wanda smiled. “I’m flattered you’re scared of me, Stark.” 
Back in the simulation room, Pandora was trying to come up with a plan. Logically, she knew that the team couldn’t expect her to defeat this big of a mob alone. However, she was determined to not go out without a fight. 
As the hoard got closer, she saw that not all of them were of the same species. Of course they weren’t, because that would mean they have the same strengths and weaknesses. Pandora called on the ancient lines of magic she pulled on, holding them at the ready.
She hadn’t expended a lot of her magic on the first two tests, which was good, because she definitely needed it now. As the first line of the crowd neared her, she sent out a blast to knock them down. They were not indisposed of, but it was enough to gouge just how much magic she needed to spend to push them around. 
With a quiet reminder that none of this was real, she charged into the fight. In doing so, she held out her hand to the eyes of some of the crowd, altering their vision so they would now see some of their allies as their enemy. 
She could have just disguised herself as them, but this way they took themselves out faster. Pandora had magical weapons that she switched out time to time, slashing, stabbing, and blasting her enemies. 
But, even with confusion amongst the crowd, she was still outnumbered. She pushed through, picking up men and slamming them around to take out the others. She lost count of how many had fallen by her hand, the only thought in her mind to do better, to take out more.
Eventually though, she slipped up and ended up with a fake dagger in her skull, sending her back into the simulation. She was out of breath, panting, her face frustrated. 
Even if she had lasted 22 minutes, killed 154 enemies, and only ended up with one major injury, she still felt like she could have done better. She was unaware of the dropped jaws of everyone behind the reinforced glass of the observation room, unaware of the new record she had just set.
“I could have done better.” She whispered, but pushed the thought aside. She already had plans in the future to come back to this room and achieve a higher kill count. 
For a long few minutes, nobody said anything down to Pandora. It wasn’t until she looked up at them, expectantly, that someone said something.
“Uh, that was incredible. You should see the look on the guys’ faces right now.” Wanda said, laughing. 
Tony cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. Anyways, good work today. None of the opponents were real, but the sweat is. Go get a shower, I don’t want you sweating on the expensive furniture.”
Pandora laughed, and bid a goodbye to her new teammates before she exited the room. To her surprise, Loki was there to greet her. 
“That was amazing.” He said, eyes twinkling. “ You were amazing.”
Pandora turned a little red, rubbing her neck. “Thanks. You don’t have to exaggerate though. I want to know if I actually did well in the eyes of other people.”
Loki looked shocked. “Are you kidding? You beat the other witch’s record of kills in that last simulation. You did better than even I might have done, and that’s saying a lot, of course.”
She laughed. “Thanks, mischief, I appreciate it.” He began to walk her back to her room, complimenting her magic usage and her skills with daggers.
They made it to her room, and Loki said goodbye. She closed the door and let the weight that she wasn’t good enough fall from her shoulders. Pandora knew that she belonged there. Loki knew that she belonged there. The team knew that she belonged there. The voices telling her otherwise stopped at that moment, she told herself.
To wash them away, she got into the shower, and allowed herself to cry. To cry for the things she had been through, to cry for the child she once was, and to cry for the newfound sense of belonging that she now felt.
TAG LIST (If you want to be added or removed, comment or inbox. If you want to only be tagged for this series/or just oneshots, etc... make sure to let me know. Make sure your tag settings are on.)- @anukulee @mischief-dream @iceeericeee
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worstloki · 4 years
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How messed up do you think Loki’s sleep schedule is
I assume he casually stayed up the nights Thor was on earth and he had to invade New York, so he could stay up, but I also think his sleep schedule is normal, maybe even a bit earlier than everyone, so unless there’s a reason to stay up he will sleep just fine. 
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themilky-way · 3 years
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picnics and bees
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gif credit: not mine!
pairing: loki x reader (no spoilers please i beg)
summary: loki doesn’t like bees, but he can deal with them if it means he gets to spend time with you. 
warnings: umm bees? i think that’s it lol
author’s note: okay i’ve been gone for like more than 6 months and i’m SORRY 😭 i missed writing and you guys so much, a lot has happened but i’m hoping to be back! please enjoy this lil drabble that is very unedited and very short but give me requests please lol okay byyee--steph
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If there was anything that Loki hated, it was bees. Since his arrival to Midgard, he’d spent more than half of his time reading about the little creatures and how to extinguish them from the face of the planet, book after book piling up in the corner of his room. He often put on documentaries about them before going to bed, watching how they’d pollinate whatever honey-filled flower crossed their diligent path. The concept of them dying immediately after stinging something made Loki laugh, and when someone asked him what the cause of his small, intermittent giggles was, he’d simply pinch them in an odd attempt to replicate a sting and walk away. 
However, Loki’s dislike for bees surpassed the humor they brought him, and now sitting in a park surrounded by endless amounts of hives elevated his nerves. 
“I don’t understand why you focus so much on them. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you.”
“They trouble me regardless of my efforts to stay away from them, it’s annoying,” Loki snapped. Across from him, you continued to arrange a plate of assorted fruits and cookies with a roll of your eyes and a sly smile. In silence, Loki watched you move a strawberry to match one of the pink biscuits on the side of the dish, and replace a few blueberries with grapes. He found your dedicated patience to the aesthetic of the picnic to be almost as hilarious as the aftermath of a bee sting, but, of course, he had more affection for one than he would ever care to admit. 
“Do you think this looks nice?” you asked him, holding up the organized tray. 
“Yes, it looks very pretty, now may I eat it?” Loki taunted.
“Well, you have to say please first.” Loki feigned annoyance, having come to terms a long time ago that he could never truly be annoyed when in your presence, and muttered an obedient “please.” 
The both of you ate and discussed a few novels you had been reading for school. Like always, he gave you his input on the book itself, another on your theories and how they were inherently wrong and misinformed. You opted to just listen to his teasing whenever he got like this, now understanding he did it out of love rather than general disapproval. Loki’s voice could put the most exhilarated lunatic to sleep, and with the warmness of the summer sun against your face and a full stomach, you were falling victim to it. 
“Does my insight bore you so much that you’re falling asleep at noon?”
Rocking with the breeze and with half-closed eyes, you answered calmly, “I just really like your voice.” 
Such a trifling statement caused a grown man, foreign to your home planet, to lose his sense of thought. Loki stayed silent, unsure of how he could possibly recover from that and not make a fool of himself in responding. More than a few seconds passed, sufficiently enough to where you nearly forgot he was still there, sitting right across from you. You truly loved moments like these, where you could say the most trivial things to Loki and make the most eloquent man stumble on his words. 
“Would you like me to read to you?” Loki inquired, voice low and whisper-like. You hummed. 
The rest of the time at Central Park was spent with Loki reading almost half of Wuthering Heights--one of his favorite classics-- and taking small breaks to talk about themes and drinking lemonade. 
Picnics in the park weren’t necessarily Loki’s thing, but they were yours. If it meant more of you, he could deal with a couple of bees.
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Text
In Hiding Part 4/?
Hey loves! Sorry it took so long for me to write part 4, I’ve had school and band. I like this chapter, so I hope you do too!
Word count: 1566
Warnings: Really un graphic violence, mentions of undiagnosed PTSD, OCD, and depression, and my inability to write good endings
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The last 30 minutes on the Quinjet were pure hell. Tony kept trying to grill you, and you didn’t respond, which motivated him to ask even more questions.
Finally, he rolled his eyes and asked, “Where are your parents?”
Hundreds of locked-away memories flooded your mind. Your parents had sold you to HYDRA at age 5. You didn't know much about your parents or their identities.
After he asked about your parents, you broke eye contact and looked anywhere but into someone's eyes.
“I see.” Tony scowled but continued asking more questions, but you weren't in the mood, even more now than before.
You eventually drifted off into a daydream as Tony’s questions slurred together. You dreamt about what your life could've been if you had parents and weren't mutant. You could still have parents; you wouldn't have sustained all of that torture at HYDRA, and you would've gotten to go to school!
School, something many take for granted. You didn't have any higher education, and being 15 and more innovative and 99.99% of the world, it was a moot point. Still, being among everyday people, having friends, and discovering your passions, would be amazing.
Snaps in your face brought you back, courtesy of Tony.
“Kid. Kid! Hello?” He snapped in your face.
You had returned to Earth and- hey, look at that! Tony is within head butting distance. Maybe it'd get him to shut up, or would Loki attack again? He was staring at you from the back of the jet, unmoving, eyes trying to predict your following movements.
“KID!” Tony shouted.
You'd had enough of hearing him in your face, so you turned back to him, made eye contact, and-
“Don’t do that, girl.” Loki snarled from his seat.
Tony turned to him and cocked his head.
“She was going to headbutt you, obviously. Don't get within 5 feet of her.”
Tony thanked him quietly and sat in his seat, glaring at you. You made eye contact with him once more, and you smirked.
The rest of the ride was quiet, save for a few tiny pockets of conversation and Tony coming up with more dumb questions, which you elected to ignore.
——————————
You had finally reached the compound, and all you could think about was your impending doom.
Steve picked you up again, as your restraints render you immobile. You fell limp in his arms, head dangling. You were so tired and so worried.
Steve carried you into the compound and to a room, or rather, a cell. The space was empty except for a cot in the corner and a sink. The wall next to the door sported a one-way mirror.
“You’ll stay in here; Stark wants to ask you more questions; he’ll be in here soon.” He put you down on the floor, and you looked up to him. He uncuffed you and swiftly ran out in fear of you trying to bolt again.
Little did you know, he and many of the other team members were staring at you from the other side of the glass, observing you in attempts to understand how you worked and your erotic behavior.
The room was made of something that made you powerless, and the walls were a blinding white. There weren’t any windows, and a single notepad and pencil lay on the bed.
You sat in the center of the room for 5 minutes, staying stationary. Once more, scenarios of what the Avengers might do to you crowded your mind. Tears came again, and you sobbed quietly. Everything hurt, and you were once again reminded that you'd been awake for almost 24 hours. So you carefully laid yourself out on the ground, being mindful of your bruises, and cried there.
—————Avengers POV—————
“So- uh- what do we do now?” Steve pointed to you, still crying on the floor.
“Poor thing,” Wanda remarked, frowning.
“Poor thing? She may be a child, but she's evil!” Tony scoffed.
“She could be a beneficial asset to the team,” Nat suggested.
“I don’t trust her.” Tony crossed his arms and looked back to your shaking figure.
“Tony, I kinda volunteered to go talk to her.” Steve turns back to him. “She's got a notepad, and if she doesn’t open up, we’ll send someone else in.”
“Why the hell did you volunteer me? Kid hates me; it's obvious.”
“Just go see if you can get anything out of her, Tony,” Natasha ordered.
“Fine.” He rolled his eyes, stepping into your cell.
—————Your POV—————
Tony Stark stepped into your cell, the door shut with a loud ‘thud.’ His intentions were unclear, so you backed into a corner. He crouched in front of you and looked into your puffy, red eyes.
Now that the two of you weren't fighting, he noticed how truly young you were; you still had that childlike glimmer in your bright blue eyes. You had been turned into a villain, but it wasn’t your fault.
“Hey, kid.”
You didn’t respond, just blinked. He grabbed the notepad and pencil on the bed.
“Since we haven’t heard you speak, we put this here for you to write on. Do you know how to write?”
Of course, you knew how to write. You stared at Stark, annoyed that he thought you couldn’t write, and slowly nodded your head.
He handed you the notepad and pencil and asked your name, which he knew. He was trying to create a sense of normalcy for you.
“(Y/N)” You wrote.
“You have great handwriting and a beautiful name (Y/N).” He said, reaching for your hand.
You winced when Tony touched you and quickly brushed him off.
“Understood.” Tony moved back and asked you, “Did HYDRA give you your powers?”
“I don’t think so. I was young. I don’t know.” You wrote. You did know, however. You were born with powers, and that’s why your parents sold you. You were too much to handle, and many people were willing to pay hefty prices for you.
You weren’t fond of visiting HYDRA memories, let alone talking about them. Memories of being tortured plagued your dreams every night, and it seems that HYDRA had found a way to torture you even after you escaped.
Often loud noises would bring back memories, as would needles and human contact.
“I want my clothes back.” You wrote. You thought they might bring some semblance of home, a piece of you to hold, and you’d be able to smell your apartment and yourself.
Tony nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. Do you need anything else?”
You shook your head and wrote, “Please leave now. And don’t stare at me from the window. It's creepy.”
Tony chuckled. “Ok, Banner is going to come to check on you at some point.”
You nodded and waved your hand towards the door, signaling him to leave.
Tony slowly got up, and you stared silently as he left the cell. Before he shut the door, he looked back to you, stationary on the floor, staring up at him. Once he was gone, you stared into the mirror, not at yourself but any unsuspecting souls behind it.
Once you thought the sufficient amount of staring was reached, you got up and went to the bed at the far corner of your cell. It was perpendicular to the door, so you could see if anyone entered and be ready to defend yourself.
–—————————
It must've been an hour or so until Banner walked into your cell. You jumped up from the bed and pushed yourself into a corner. He frowned and set down what he was carrying, which was a tray of food and your clothing.
He stepped away from said items, and you scrambled to grab them, scared he’d take them back. You backed yourself into your corner once more, shielding yourself with your clothing.
“Hey, (Y/N). Remember me?”
You scowled. You remembered him, and you weren't very fond of the memories you shared with him.
You didn't move, eyes still trained on him. He kneeled about 5 feet away from you, not wanting to startle you.
His voice was low and soft when he asked, “Can I come closer?”
You stared, not knowing how to answer. Would Bruce hurt you again? Could you trust him? It didn’t look like he was holding anything more to hurt you. You allowed yourself to creep closer, slowly inching towards him.
“See, baby steps.” He looked towards the window. You assumed some people were still watching the two of you.
You let yourself come closer, until you were about a foot away from him.
“Can I touch your hand?” He reached out and touched you, but you winced and pulled your hand away. You still didn’t trust him, you would need a whole lot more prof before letting him, or anyone for that matter, touch you.
“Ok, I’m going to go now, get some sleep.” He stood and turned away from you, heading to the exit.
He stepped out, and turned off the lights in your room. It was almost pitch black, except for a dim light coming through the window. You climbed into the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. You were exhausted, but sleep refused to come.
It must have been 45 minutes when you finally drifted off to a restless sleep. You dreamt about what would meet you in the morning.
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lisinfleur · 3 years
Text
Ragnarssons In - Not you... II
The request:
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Author’s Notes | Triggering chapter for sure. It is always harder when it’s on our skin :(
Info | requested by anon
⁑ Warnings: TRIGGERING CONTENT! Mentions to rape. Caution is recommended: the following content may be triggering!
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For him, finding this out is like a punch in the stomach. He fails to understand that pressing his daughter for a name is even worse for her, and he is the most likely to act aggressively due to his inability to express his feelings and anger.
He would probably end up hunting the person who did this to her, if possible. Killing the bastard becomes a matter of honor. But it would be a little harder for him to be able to sit down and talk calmly to his daughter. It would take a while for him to muster up enough strength and courage to sit down and tell her how much he feels he was the one who failed to protect her and the one to blame for what happened. Until then, looking at her hurts, not because he feels ashamed of her or anything related to her, but because her sadness reminds him of what he considers his own failure.
"Anyone could let it go! NOT ME!"
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It falls like a stone in his heart. No words seem to be enough to escape his lips. His embrace is sincere, but he no longer feels that his little girl is safe in his arms.
He would spend the entire night by her side, watching her sleep, trying to push the nightmares out of her mind with fingers that he no longer found sufficient to ease her pain.
As the days go by, her sadness is like a thorn in his heart. One that doesn't abandon him even when he finds out who is responsible for her pain and kills the person with the greatest pain he can imagine.
Nothing seems to really soothe his heart, and it will turn out to be a horrible memory he will never truly forget.
"What was taken from her is not recoverable. Neither is my heart."
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The news hit him as if Thor himself was throwing Mjölnir in his face or Loki was standing in front of him, arms folded, waiting for his reaction to this horrible thing.
The weight of the many times he himself committed that crime against someone else's daughter falls on his shoulders like an anvil of guilt.
It's his fault! His and his alone! The gods are punishing his many crimes, and his poor little girl is paying for his past deeds, he's sure.
He'll kill the bastard mercilessly, disfiguring the body in a way no one would ever be able to recognize, but the truth is, he's not really being bestial or avenging his little girl. His eyes — probably drugged from his attempt to escape the guilt — were seeing himself in that bastard's face.
And he could never really look at himself and feel less than disgusted.
"It's all my fault."
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Disappointment is his last name after discovering such a thing. His faith - which wasn't the greatest - becomes even more broken. He would hold his daughter in his arms and do his best to ease her pain. She becomes her priority: if he finds out who the bastard is, he will kill them mercilessly, but his biggest concern is to heal his daughter's broken heart and bring her back to a healthy state of mind after such trauma.
However, his frustration is visible as he thinks once again that his curse has reached his life and, this time, it has hurt his beautiful daughter.
"I am a cursed man..."
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Like Björn, he can't contain himself and presses his daughter for a name right away. When he gets what he wants, he storms out of the house after the aggressor. His greatest murderous intentions are reflected in his eyes.
He won't stop until the person is dead, destroyed, disfigured, ridiculed in some way not even the gods will be able to recognize them in the afterlife.
But when he gets home, he holds his daughter's tearful face and leans his forehead against hers with his eyes deep into hers.
"I will train you... I will teach you everything I know. And no one - no man, no woman, no god! - will be able to touch you again without suffering the consequences of my wrath through your hands, my child."
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67 notes · View notes
rose7420 · 3 years
Text
Use Your Words
A request from @lokiismyhubby
Summary: Loki feels down and Y/N decides she wants to help him out
Warnings: Selectively Mute reader
Y/N sat with Peter Parker, listening to him as he rambled on about his homework and complained about how much he had to do of it, instead of just doing it. Even though Peter could be kind of annoying sometimes Y/N loved to be near him. He was the only human so far that had proved to be worthy of her trust. He was a gentle giant and showed her tenderness and care when he provided her company. He even went out of his way to gather her food and certain supplies to help her out, erasing the risk of her being caught by another human.
Y/N knew Peter didn’t have to do all of these things but he still chose to and that made y/n feel good because she knew someone out there cared for her wellbeing. Out of impulse, she stepped up to Peter’s wrist that held a pencil and hugged it.
“Woah there… You good pipsqueak?” Peter said, raising an eyebrow in curiousness. Y/N nodded her head wordlessly. She didn’t like to speak much.
She had lost her parents at a young age and her kind called borrowers lived in small, distanced packs, making it hard to find people to share a life with. After she had lost everyone close to her there had been no reason to speak and communicate with others. Peter was the first person she had talked to in five years. When she first spoke to him her voice had been rough and she didn’t want to admit she had lost the confidence to actually speak. All of her memory of language had practically withered away in her head, making it hard to remember how to pronounce some words. Peter had only questioned once why she didn’t speak to him. He was worried she was frightened of him but she assured him that wasn’t the problem with an exaggeration of her hands and a written note. Peter hadn’t questioned her after that and only spoke to her with no expectations of her responding.
She released his wrist and smiled brightly up towards him.
“I’m glad you’re feeling good today. But I think something has made Loki feel bad these last weeks. Would you know why?” Peter asks, resting his head upon his hand to see her better. Y/n shakes her head.
“Well if you have any free time, you mind using those amazing spy skills for me? I’m worried about him, he won’t talk to me?” He patted her head with a finger.
Y/n nodded, anxious to see Loki for the first time. She had never come across the god since her arrival at the tower.
Y/n sat on a shelf in Loki’s room watching his daily life. He led a rather peaceful but boring routine. Reading late at night and early in the morning, practicing his impressive magical abilities, and occasionally eating a meal. Y/n was about to stand and leave, ready to tell Peter that he was probably sad because he did nothing during the day when the door opened. In Thor walked, one of the biggest people she’d ever seen, and that was saying something.
“Brother, why don’t you just leave this room? There are plenty of things to do.” Thor said to Loki.
“Leave so I can hear you all blabber on of how wretched of a person I am? My life may be spent in solitude but perhaps I like it like that.” Loki retorted snarkily.
“If you stay in here, your chances of being liked will increase no more. “Thor said stepping towards Loki.
“So you admit it? The mortals of this tower do not want me here.” Loki said, anger lashing his voice.
“I don’t blame them, brother. You’re wasting away in this existence you call a life. Mother would be disappointed.” Thor said, his voice going soft to lessen the blow at the end.
Despite Thor’s gentility, Loki still became furious.
“Get out,” Loki said with a scary calm. Thor respected his wishes and walked out. But Y/n stayed, thinking she had just found the reason for Loki’s sadness.
As the days went by Y/n hid well and listened to the others’ Avengers conversations. Most of them as she’d thought spoke terribly of Loki. Remorse became heavy in her heart and she vowed to make Loki feel better. Since Peter had been there for her she figured it was time for her to be there for someone else.
She crept onto Peter’s desk and broke the lead off the pencil quietly. She checked to make sure he was still asleep and began writing.
Dear Mr. Loki,
I am sorry you feel so bad. I know people can be mean but I think your feelings are valid. If it was me I wouldn’t want to hear about what people think of me either. But I think you are very kind and generous. I hope this helps.
-Your friend
Y/n set out the next night to give the letter to Loki. Her handwritten letter was strapped to her back, easily accessible to her reach. The floor was mute under her imperceptible footsteps. She climbed the towering, unstable wall of Loki’s silk, black bedsheets which was a hard task as the sheets slipped from her grip a couple of times sending her heart to beat out of her chest. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, she reached the top. Her breaths were heavy and she struggled to keep them quiet. Approaching Loki’s open, pale outstretched palm she retrieved the letter from behind her back. The paper was bigger than her upper half when folded together and heavy enough that she couldn’t place it upon his palm using only her arms to boost it to the surface. Which meant that she would have to climb into his hand.
Oh, how she wanted to turn around, climb down the bed and run to her safe, warm home inside the wall.
But she refused to give up when she had come so far.
And he needed someone to be there for him.
She delicately climbed into his palm, with the letter strapped to her back carefully placing her feet in non-ticklish places. One twitch of his hand would send her flying onto the covers, or worse off the bed itself. She shivered at the thought. Finding a good place to leave the letter she bends down.
Then a powerful, immense weight falls upon her sending darkness to coat her vision. She falls to her butt as vertigo hits.
“What are you doing?” A booming voice demands.
She trembles in fear, covering her head with her arms. I knew I should’ve just gone away. What will he do?
“I asked you a question?” The voice is angry. A light is turned on allowing her sight of her captor.
She dares to look up and is met with the rage of Loki Laufeyson. She shakes her head in reluctance to answer.
“What is this?” He roughly nudges her away from the note she holds in her arms causing her to fall onto her back with a squeak of fear. She holds onto the slip of paper for security but his strength overpowers hers greatly. His eyes squint in concentration as he reads the small handwriting.
“Did you write this?” He asks returning his focus upon her trembling form.
She nods hesitantly.
“Truly?”
Another nod.
“You don’t speak much do you Little Miss, do you?” He asks with a hint of a smile, his tone is much softer.
She shakes her head. Y/n clutches her arms across her chest, scooting back further from his face.
“Did I frighten you?” Loki suggests his eyes gentle voice guilty.
She nods, her eyes wide studying him for any ill intent.
“I apologize. I have a few trust issues. “
She says nothing and only stares at him with distrust.
“How did you know what the others were saying about me?” Loki asks raising her to meet his eyes. Even through her apprehension, she notices how beautiful they are. How his irises cannot seem to decide on a cool blue or a rainforest green.
She doesn’t try to answer his question, from the fear of speaking and the trepidation of angering him with her words.
“Okay, well I will wait until you’re ready to tell me. For now, I’ll let you go.” He stands up from his bed and releases her onto the hardwood floor. He stays crouched even as she slips off his long fingers. Taking a few cautious steps away from his looming form she is frankly surprised he is letting her go. She supposes that is a good sign. Maybe she will come back to him despite her previous scare.
“Don’t be a stranger.” His voice calls out almost wistfully.
Next week…
Y/n finds herself in a vent located in Loki’s room. This past week she’d felt guilty for leaving Loki in such a dreadful, sad state. So her final decision was to come back. She watched as Loki sat reading in an armchair on the other side of the room. He looked regal and imposing from far away, with his head bent down in concentration, long legs spread outward and she could only imagine how intimidating he must look up close. Her legs shook as she dropped to the floor below with no sound to alert Loki of her presence. Scurrying to his chair she stopped by his black boot. Even this simple apparel dwarfed her, able to serve as her sufficient sleeping quarters.
If you want to turn back now’s the time. She said to herself.
The enormous, unaware boot shifted closer to her and she let out a squeak, scampering back.
“It’s you again Little Miss.”
She craned her head all the way up and saw Loki staring down at her. His black hair hung down around his face. His hand reached for her and pinched her waist carefully, lifting her up to bring in front of his eyes. The pressure on her waist was gentle but still made her fearful.
She kicked her legs in search of a non-reachable floor. Loki noticed her apprehension and set her down in his other palm.
“Is that better?” He ducked his head down to meet her eye.
She nodded.
“Still not talking are we?” He asked.
She shook her head.
“Well, I suppose that’ll be fine. Would you care for me to read to you?” He asked kindly.
His offer was so kind and thoughtful. One that didn’t seem right for a simple nod in answer.
“Y-yes p-please.” She stumbled.
Loki grinned and set her upon his shoulder. She wasn’t sure what to do so high up and close to his person. Thankfully Loki caught onto this with his quick perception.
“Sit right here Little One.” He tapped right beside his neck and held still as she walked to the pointed area. Sitting down, she dared to lean a bit of her weight against his neck. She was instantly met with warmth and the gentle pounding of his pulse. When he started reading his smooth voice vibrated her minutely.
After a while, Y/n started becoming sleepy from the comfortableness of her position. Loki stopped reading.
“You know Little Miss, I think you have a lovely voice… perhaps you should use it more often.”
Y/n pondered these words in her sleepy mind.
Maybe she would heed his advice, but for now, she would sleep.
91 notes · View notes
fallinwitstyle · 3 years
Text
In Your Arms
characters/pairings: Loki / Mobius
rating: general
word count: 4821
summary: Loki and Mobius find one another again in the apolycptic New York and while on the run, share a moment.
Notes: I am such shipper trash and in no way do I think this will happen, ever, but I needed to write some fluff for these two. Hope you enjoy.
Read on A03
They had been running for who knows how long. 
Loki didn't tire as fast as mortals and truly he could have kept running, his determination to escape this hellscape fierce but he was accompanied by a human.
A human man who, by all means, had done very well for himself in keeping up with Loki for as long as he could.
But eventually Mobius was starting to run on empty, his pace slowed and his breathing was far too heavy. 
When Loki looked back at him, his cheeks were red from exertion, and sweat beaded on his forehead. 
He had long since shed his TVA jacket and tie, undid a few buttons of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves.. 
"Loki," he gasped for air and Loki, despite where they were and the situation they were in, still got a little thrill that Mobius was alive and was able to say his name. 
"Loki….hold..." Mobius breathed again and slowly came to a stop and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees.
"Are you alright?" Loki stopped, briefly surveying their surroundings for any signs of danger but quickly turned his attention to his friend. 
He was consistently amazed by how much he actually cared for this man. He could count on one hand how many people he genuinely cared for and all of them, save for Mobius, were gods. 
He had only ever seen human beings as inferior creatures who needed to kneel before him but right from the start Mobius had been different. He never seemed afraid of Loki, he was never intimated, and in fact was almost amused, intrigued and as time drew on, seemed to have some kind of affection for him. 
Mobius panted for a few seconds and Loki watched, his brow furrowed in concern. 
"I just…" he gasped between breaths, and waved a hand. "I need a minute."
Loki frowned and glanced around him. It was getting darker and the other Lokis had warned him of the dangers that lurked in that land. 
They had no protection other than Loki's magic, which could sufficiently protect them but, and he'd be loath to admit out loud, he still felt a little uneasy.
He took a few steps toward Mobius and put a hand on his shoulder and then once more looked around them. 
"Perhaps we should stop here for the evening." Loki suggested, spotting a bit of shelter that would sufficiently keep them safe, at least for the night.
He glanced back at Mobius when the man weakly grabbed onto his forearm. 
His face was pale, despite the pink in his cheeks and his eyes were slightly glazed over. 
"You look like death, Mobius."
Mobius scoffed breathlessly, his lips twitching very slightly at the corners. "Oh thank you."
He wobbled on his feet and Loki tightened his hold on him.
Once Mobius caught his breath, he shook his head, looking up at Loki. "We should keep going."
Loki pressed his lips together and scrunched his nose. "If we do, it leaves me with two options: carrying your dead body or leaving you here. Frankly, neither are attractive options for me."
Mobius blinked up at him and then gave a slight roll of his eyes. "I am not going to die, Loki. I'm a little offended that you don't think I can handle myself."
"I believe you can handle yourself just fine under normal circumstances. However, your body is still recovered from being pruned and we've been on the move for hours. You're only a mortal, you don't have the stamina…"
"Oh spare me the superior god speech…" Mobius breathed out and Loki raised an eyebrow at him. 
"It is the truth."
Mobius continued to glare at him in annoyance and then sighed. 
"If it will make you feel better, then we'll stop."
Mobius came off like he was doing Loki a favor but Loki could see the relief in his face, and felt the way his body relaxed, even slumping forward a little.
"Oh yes, for my sake then." Loki remarked sarcastically and Mobius nodded his head weakly. 
Loki swore the human could sometimes be as stubborn and hard headed as he was, which Loki admittedly admired and the smallest hint of an affectionate smile pulled at his lips, just out of sight of Mobius' gaze as he attempted to straighten himself up and turn.
Loki watched, his brow raised as Mobius began to stagger around aimlessly.
Finally, Loki cleared his throat. "Mobius?"
"Yeah?" Mobius paused and looked back at him and Loki pointed over his shoulder. 
"Shelter's this way."
Mobius grumbled something under his breath and turned on his heel and shuffled back towards Loki. 
The only truly safe space, that wasn't entirely covered by rubble and who knows what else, was a small room just barely big enough for the two of them. 
Mobius immediately took to one wall and let out a groan, his eyes closing, a grimace covering his face as he lowered himself to the ground.
Loki looked around but then decided to take a seat beside him.
Mobius opened his eyes and blinked blearily to Loki. 
"Any more cracks about  human fragility?"
Loki smirked. "Oh I have many. None that I'll say now. For another time perhaps."
Mobius let out a little scoff of a laugh and then leaned forward with a small groan and a large sigh. 
Loki's brow furrowed and he felt an odd pang deep within. Something he was learning was concern. That deep, visceral pain that cut into him. Of course the grief of watching Mobius be vaporized before his eyes thinking he was dead was much worse in comparison but he did care for his health as well. 
Mobius swallowed hard, closed his eyes and tilted his head back to lean against the hard wall. 
"I think perhaps you were right." Mobius muttered softly. 
"Of course.” Loki remarked quickly. “About what?"
Mobius' lips twitched slightly but he didn't open his eyes. "I need to rest. I need to…" he trailed off.
"Rest." Loki surprised himself again with how gentle the command was. "I'll watch over us."
Mobius let out a small hum, but that was the only energy he had left to acknowledge.
Loki kept a watchful eye on him until it seemed he fell asleep. 
Then he let out a small sigh, straightened out his legs and looked out of the small crack in the wall that was letting in what bit of light there was. 
His thoughts drifted - to how they had ended up here, to what the existence of all the other variant Loki's meant, which of course then brought his thoughts to Sylvie.
It wasn't too long ago at all that he was trapped in another apocalypse with her as his companion. 
It somehow seemed fitting he'd end up on some doomed distant moon with another variant of himself and yet somehow wind up on Earth, in New York of all places, with the human responsible for taking him to the TVA in the first place.
Sylvie kept up with him on Lementis. In fact she was very much his equal, perhaps even his superior in some ways. 
She was astounding to him and he wouldn't have minded spending more time with her. 
Having Mobius as a companion was entirely different and by all accounts he should have been annoyed that he had to slow down and take into account a human's shortcomings.
But he wasn't. No, he was entirely too grateful to have Mobius alive to be annoyed with his presence. 
He was extremely irritated, angry even at the TVA and the situation they had put them in but Mobius was just as much of a victim. 
His heart ached at the way Mobius talked about his life before the TVA and how he couldn't remember it. 
Loki vowed to somehow, someway get Mobius to remember. Whether that was somehow finding Sylvie and having her access his memories or learning to do so himself.
He deserved to know the truth. 
Loki suddenly startled when he felt a sudden, solid warmth pressed against his side. 
He turned his head to find that Mobius had leaned in toward him, his head landing on Loki's shoulder, his arm pressing against his. 
Loki stared at the top of his head and his lips parted in slight awe. 
He recalled the brief conversation with Sylvie and how he couldn't let himself fall asleep in her presence because he didn't trust her. 
He knew he had fallen asleep with Mobius before but he was truly stunned that Mobius trusted him enough to not only fall asleep in his presence but seek him out for comfort.
It was a new and thrilling emotion, to have someone so comfortable around him and to be so comfortable around someone else
He had been beginning to feel that way with Sylvie as well but Sylvie was not like Mobius. 
Sylvie was like him and he admired her strength, her determination, her cunning, and wit. She seemed to be the very best parts of him.
Mobius was different- he was human, he was kind, he was good, almost irritatingly so but it was also admirable to Loki and he felt himself drawn to Mobius in a way he had never experienced before. 
He hated the look of disappointment on Mobius' face when he chose to follow Sylvie through the time portal. He hated the anger and betrayal and hurt that Mobius tried to hide when he accused Loki of working with Sylvie...of being in love with Sylvie. 
A ridiculous notion. Loki scoffed to himself and he was loath to admit how much Mobius words to him had stung. Of course he cared for Sylvie. If he knew what love was he might even admit to loving her but not in that way. In the same way he loved his mother. Another being on the same level as him who understood him in a way that no one else could. That was Sylvie.
Sylvie was connected to him, a part of him and he didn't want to let her go but he knew what he felt for her was anything but romantic or even lust, though she was incredibly beautiful, but that was to be expected, as she was, of course, a Loki. 
No, what he felt for Sylvie was nothing like lust and nothing like the warm, soft feeling deep in his belly when he looked down at the man sleeping peacefully on top of him. 
He took a shuddering breath and cleared away those thoughts before he allowed his mind to go there. Those thoughts were frightening and just a little too much to deal with. 
He'd much rather just enjoy this rare moment of peace and comfort beside a man who seemed just as content to be with him. 
He knew he promised Mobius he would keep watch but as the hours drew on, and he reveled in the warmth of the body beside him, he slowly found himself drifting. 
He used just a little bit of magic to shield their little shelter and then closed his eyes, his head leaning to the side until his cheek was pressed lightly against Mobius' soft hair. 
He inhaled slowly, taking in the scent of smoke and sweat and the faintest hint of the most bland shampoo in the universe. 
He tensed only for a moment as Mobius shifted against him but he only moved closer, his hand lightly falling against Loki's thigh. 
A small smile tugged at the corners of Loki's lips and he allowed himself to get lost in the moment, even if it was just going to be just this once. He clung onto it and sank into it, the feeling of Mobiua warm beneath him and slowly drifted off to sleep. 
--
Mobius felt like he was hit by a train. 
He had had particularly arduous missions that left him tired, chasing Variants through time but nothing like this. 
His mouth and throat was so dry that it hurt to swallow.
His whole entire body ached down to his bones and he felt completely drained. 
His head pounded as if there were a thousand hammers trying to knock out his skull.
He now regretted ever having anyone pruned, not only because of what the TVA was, how they had stolen his life, but because it was not an experience he would wish on anyone. 
Yet despite all of this pain, he felt strangely comforted.
His eyes seemed glued shut so he dare not try to open them yet.
As his mind woke up he began to feel his surroundings, it was hot and humid, and there was a tinge of smoke in the air. 
He could feel that he was lying against something solid, yet soft and warm and there was a comforting pressure against his head. 
Loki. He suddenly realized and his chest tightened. 
He finally managed to crack open his eyes and blinked past the initial blurry vision. 
His eyes scanned the area, dimly lit by that smoky haze. 
He vaguely remembered stopping there for the night, but he had been so far past the point of exhaustion that everything was a blur. 
He cast his gaze downward and his heart leapt when he found his hand rested on Loki's thigh and what's more, Loki's hand lightly covered his own. 
He realized then that while he had fallen asleep against Loki, Loki had also fallen asleep against him. 
He was beginning to feel the ache in his neck and back from his position but he didn't want to move. He knew as soon as he did Loki would also wake up and he wanted to marvel in this moment for a little while. 
Loki - the God of mischief. The variant he took control over, the narcissistic, infuriating being who tested his patience at every turn.
Loki had fallen asleep in front of him before, a few times in those early days when they were scouring through files, searching for the other Loki variant. 
However, Loki had never fallen asleep beside him, holding him even. Protecting him, just as he said he would.
Loki's promise had suddenly come to him and his chest tightened again. 
He'd never forget Loki's cry as he was pruned, never forget the look of awe and relief on his face when he saw him again, the smile that lit his face. 
Whatever transgressions Loki had committed against him, the betrayal of leaving him to chase after the Variant - Sylvie - were all forgiven. 
The last thing Loki had said to him before they were confronted by the TVA was the promise of friendship and this time, perhaps despite his best instincts, he believed him.
And so far, Loki hadn't done anything to lose his trust. He stuck by his side, made certain he was alright and watched over him, all the with the air of genuine concern.
Loki easily could have made his escape. Left him behind without a second thought but he didn't. He sat down beside him and went to sleep, holding onto his hand like he wanted to do the very opposite of run away - as if he was holding onto Mobius with all he had. 
The thought warmed something inside of him - sparked the ever growing flame of fondness he was gaining for this Loki. 
Someone good. 
He knew he could have stayed there for hours, his head rested comfortably on Loki's chest. 
That is where he was, he realized, when he became aware of the soft thumping of Loki's heart beneath his ear. 
He couldn't remember the last time he had been this close to another being. Certainly never at the TVA and before that…
His stomach twisted at the harsh reminder that he knew nothing of his life before the TVA. His only memory was that of a jetski and it only came in his fascination with them. He didn't know if he had ever ridden one. 
Finally the ache in his neck became too painful to stay where he was and he slowly lifted his head. 
Just as he suspected, Loki's head shot up, his body tensing as he leapt to the defensive. 
"It's only me." Mobius croaked and winced at his scratchy and sore throat. 
Loki turned his gaze downward to him and instantly relaxed.
Mobius was still aware that their hands were still together on Loki's lap but he couldn't keep his eyes off of Loki's face. 
His eyes were tired which put just a touch of humanity in him but he was most certainly a god and most certainly looked like one. 
Mobius took in a breath and finally broke their gaze and slid his hand away into his own lap. 
Loki's brow pressed together, his lips pursing as he looked down at his own lap. His fingers stretched where Mobius hand had been under his and then he clenched them in a slight fist. 
He forced a tight, small smile to his lips and looked back at Mobius.
"You stayed." Mobius said quietly, looking back up at Loki and his breath caught again at the look in his eyes. 
His gaze had softened, a rare look on Loki but one he had been seeing more and more often, particularly directed at him. 
"Of course." Loki answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like he hadn't been known for consistently stabbing people, Mobius included, in the back. 
There was a smirk on Loki's lips but he said with utter sincerity, "I'm not going to abandon you."
Mobius mouth went impossibly dryer and he couldn't speak, just stared at this marvelous being in wonder. 
"Not when you cannot fend for yourself." Loki continued and Mobius released a breath. 
"You still look utterly horrible."
Mobous clenched his jaw and attempted a swallow but his throat was like sandpaper and he only winced and Loki frowned. 
His hand lifted and hovered in the air, almost looking like he was going to reach out to grab Mobius but then his hand fell back to his lap with a small sigh. 
"I'm fine." Mobius insisted, his voice barely recognizable to his own ears and he knew that he wasn’t. His whole body felt like it could combust any moment if he moved.
Yet still he tried. He attempted to push himself up but his head spun and his legs shook and he fell back down. 
Loki's hand did move that time, pressing a steady hand to his back which then slid around his middle to rest on his side.
Mobius closed his eyes tightly, holding his breath while the world spun around him and his stomach churned. 
"I very much doubt that." Loki commented but he could hear the concern in his voice. 
"What do you need?" Loki's voice was quiet at his ear and though he dare not open his eyes to look at his companion, Loki's presence was comforting. 
"Water." He rasped and rested his head between his knees as waves of nausea rolled over him.
"Right." Loki muttered and then his hand was gone from Mobius. He sat in silence, concentrating on his breathing and trying not to throw up, vaguely wondering where Loki was going to find water.
He jumped, letting out a painful screech as suddenly ice cold water poured over him like the heavens had opened up in a personal rain cloud above him.
His head shot up and he ignored the splitting headache and glared in disbelief at Loki. 
The god was standing beside him impishly, his hands hovering in the air where he had conjured the water. 
"To drink, Loki." Mobius hissed at him as the water trickled down his back.
Loki raised his brow. "But do you not feel better?"
Mobius opened his mouth to yell at him but instead took a few seconds to take in what he was feeling. The cold water not only cooled his body but shocked his system back to somewhat functional. His head was still pounding but he no longer felt nauseous and could focus on something other than his pain. 
He huffed, pressing his lips together and ran a hand over his face, pulling the water down from his hair and towards his chest. 
"A little warning would have been nice." He grunted. 
Loki merely shrugged but then waved his hands again and in them appeared a small container of water. 
He extended it toward him and Mobius eyed it suspiciously. 
Loki rolled his eyes at his hesitance. "I'm not going to poison you Mobius. If I wanted you dead there are a million other ways I'd do it."
Mobius lifted his eyebrows at that.
"I won't." Loki quickly added. "But I could."
"I don't believe you would intentionally poison me." Mobius said and the surprised look of what might almost be joy in Loki's eyes made his heart soar. "But in case you haven't noticed, we're in an apocalyptic wasteland. I don't think anything is safe to consume here."
Loki gave him a small smile and extended hisnhand further. "Trust me."
Mobius' got a taste of the water that dripped off his nose onto his bottom lip and was too parched to think about it further. There were worse ways to die he supposed.
He eagerly grabbed it from Loki and at first took a cautious sip but once the cool water hit his throat, he guzzled the rest of it down.
"Thank you." 
He looked back up at Loki and Loki's hand was still outstretched, now palm up for him to take. 
He placed his hand into Loki's and Loki helped him up. He got a brief flash of memory of their first day at the TVA and how Mobius had done the same for him. Their eyes met and Mobius could tell he was remembering the same moment. 
"Like I said…" Loki started, his eyes never leaving his. "I don't feel like carrying around your dead body."
Mobius lifted his brow, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Is that the only reason?"
There was a flash of something in Loki's eyes that made his stomach flip. Then Loki blinked and his smirk returned to his lips. 
"Should there be another reason?"
Mobius shook his head slightly, pulling his hand out of Loki's and moving it to his hair. He quickly rubbed the water out of it and got a little burst of amusement at the droplets of water that sprayed across Loki's face. 
Loki shot him a faintly annoyed look, a few drops of water rolling down his cheeks.
Mobius chuckled lightly and taking a quick, deep breath, then moved to swiftly wipe then away with his knuckles.
Loki reared back in surprise at the sudden contact and Mobius swore he could have heard his breath catch and stutter. His eyes widened slightly and his eyes followed Mobius' hands as he then patted Loki's chest. 
"Well, friends do typically care for each other's needs."
Loki visibly swallowed and his eyes drifted back to Mobius’ and his gaze softened once more and Mobius felt his heart ache just a little.
Loki always seemed so surprised by gentle, intimate, genuine touches and words and Mobius made it his goal to make sure he did those things more often around Loki. Especially if it earned him the look Loki was giving him now. 
"Yes." Loki murmured slowly, as if he was just realizing this fact.
He realized then that his hands were still resting on Loki's chest. He gave Loki another small knowing smile and then began to pull away but Loki's hands quickly shot up and brought them back. 
Mobius blinked at him, his eyes widening slightly and Loki stared back at him, just as wide-eyed. 
"Mobius….I…" he choked over his words, his mouth hanging slightly open and Mobius smiled at him. 
"I understand Loki. You don't have to say anything."
Loki's brow pressed together and he shook his head. "But I do because I've...I've never had anyone to ever say anything to and now that I do…" he trailed off again and something warm flourished inside Mobius chest as he stared at the god in anticipation.
Loki's face scrunched in slight frustration and he tilted his head up as he searched for the right words. 
Feeling just a little bit daring, Mobius lifted one hand to Loki's cheek and pulled his attention back to him. Their eyes locked and Mobius gave him an encouraging nod. 
Loki was silent for another few seconds, his eyes exploring his. 
"Whatever you need to tell me, Loki, I'm listening."
Loki opened his mouth, taking a breath and then closed it again. His eyes quickly darted back and forth as he clearly argued with himself about something and then he quickly grabbed a hold of Mobius' shoulders. 
Mobius brow shot up and he opened his mouth to question Loki when he was suddenly silenced by Loki's mouth upon his. 
He froze in pure shock but then quickly felt himself melting into the kiss. 
He wouldn't deny that it had crossed his mind once or twice what it would be like but all of his fantasies paled in comparison to the feel of the pressure of his lips, the burning of his hands against his shoulders, the heat that grew within.
It was over just as nearly as it had begun and Mobius was left wobbling on his already weakened legs. His mouth still hung open as he blinked up at Loki. 
His eyes were alive with a spark of desire, and awe and surprise of his own actions. His intense eyes burned into him and he was breathless as he stared back. 
"You are perhaps one of the most irritating and stubborn humans I've ever met." Loki said and mobius blinked a few times, trying to connect his actions with the words. 
"Extremely complimentary Loki…" he breathed.
"I'm not finished." Loki cut him off and Mobius shut his mouth, staring at him silently. 
"I have never encountered a man like you before. You never give up - even on someone like me."
Mobius pressed his lips together in a slight smile. "You're worth it." He said quietly and Loki's eyes widened and he took a breath. 
"You are the only one to ever think so." His voice broke a little as he spoke and Mobius' thumb brushed across his cheek and Loki shuddered beneath the intimate gesture. 
He took a steadying breath and grabbed Mobius’ hand in his. 
"I've never cared about anyone, not really, but somehow you...you...you and all your ridiculous human quirks…." He shook his head and lifted his head. "I find myself caring more than I ever thought I could and it's...very unusual."
"It's good, Loki.” Mobius countered. “Embrace it. You don't have to hide your feelings with me. I promise, no matter what, you are safe with me."
Loki stared at him in awe, searching his eyes for any sign of deception but he'd find none and his eyes began to glisten. 
"You know…" Loki spoke finally, his voice slightly raspy. "I rather think I like you."
Mobius laughed quietly and glanced down wrinkles and then back up at him. "I rather think I like you too. For everything you are, Loki."
Something flashed in Loki's eyes again and he leaned forward toward him when a large explosion suddenly shook the small, faulty shelter they were standing in. 
They fell into one another, Mobius pressing himself against Loki's chest while one of Loki's arms surrounded his back and the other slid to the back of his head securing him to him. 
They closed their eyes as rubble fell around them and Loki created a bubble of protection around them. 
"I think we'd better keep moving." Loki said, once they opened their eyes and found themselves standing in a pile of rubble, now exposed to the smoky open air. 
Mobius frowned as he looked around them, suddenly reminded of where they were and how much danger they were in. 
A brand new cloud of smoke was billowing in the distance, rising from the explosion caused by who knows what. 
"I think you're right."
Loki turned to him, a serious look in his eyes. "I will get us out of here, Moby. Whatever it takes."
Mobius' heart flipped at the nickname. Loki certainly wasn't the first one to use it but it held something special coming from him. 
Mobius nodded hisbhead and lowered his hand, grasping Loki's in his tightly. "I'll be right by your side through it all."
Loki's eyes flashed, a mischievous glint that Mobius had seen countless times but it was accompanied by a certain fondness that was absent before and then he smirked, tugged at his hand and they were off again, prepared to face anything together. 
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2020 (Fanfiction) In Review
Copying this from the lovely @hanajimasama
Fics Written This Year:
One Shots
More Than Sufficient: Part 2 (Thrawn x Reader)
We’re the Bad Guys: Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 (Poe Dameron x Reader)
Until We Meet Again: Masterlist (incomplete) (Thrawn x Reader)
Hard Lessons (Darth Maul x Reader)
My Queen (Darth Maul x Reader) (18+)
Jayna Dar x Maul: Masterlist
More Than Just a Look (Thrawn x Reader)
The Ambassador: Part 1 (Captain Rex x Reader)
Promise You’ll Miss Me (Commander Wolffe x Jedi!Reader)
Just One Night: Part 1, Part 2 (Commander Wolffe x Jedi!Reader) (18+)
A Selfish Man (Commander Wolffe x Jedi!Reader
Hawkeye Pierce x Elizabeth “Doc” O’Neil: Masterlist
Drabbles
Kinktober 2020 Masterlist
A Very Merry Ficmas 2020 Masterlist
“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you?” (Vasquez x Reader) 18+
Library Meeting (Sigyn x Loki)
Pulling away from a kiss, whispering words of love against each other’s lips. (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
A hello/good-bye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it. (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
There’s only one bed and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling (Stephen Strange x Reader)
“I almost lost you” kiss (Poe Dameron x Reader)
Soft kiss/ Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently Doing (Poe Dameron x Reader)
Jealous kiss (Poe Dameron x Reader)
A hello/good-bye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it. (Poe Dameron x Reader)
It’s a slow day on base, maybe Poe and reader do a puzzle? (Poe Dameron x Reader)
10 Minute Writing Challenge: Bed Sharing (Ben Solo x Reader)
The Last Jedi (Deleted Scene) (Lana Solo)
Lana Solo Meets Phaedra Meln (Lana Solo)
Lana Confronts Phaedra (Lana Solo)
“Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.” (Cassian Andor x Reader)
“Things I receive, struggles. Things I want, snuggles.” (Bodhi x Sera)
“Don’t give me that puppy dog face.  How am I supposed to say no to that?” (Platonic!Cassian x Sera)
Cassian decides not to leave (Platonic!Cassian x Sera)
Cassian carries Sera to bed (Platonic!Cassian x Sera)
“You’re not my dad!” (Platonic!Cassian x OC)
Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently Doing (Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader)
“It was so worth the injury though!” (Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader) (18+)
“Are you wearing my shirt?” (Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader) (18+)
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop.” (Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader) (18+)
“Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” (Captain Rex x Reader) (18+)
Captain Rex Werewolf (Captain Rex x Reader)
Soft morning cuddles (Clone Trooper Jesse x Reader)
“I know all of your weaknesses.” (Cad Bane x Reader) (18+)
10 Minute Writing Challenge - Senator!Reader x Thrawn: Protect (Thrawn x Senator)
Can you do Thrawn with a shy quiet reader? (Thrawn x Reader)
“Thrawn drabble, with a rebel tactician reader who has been captured by the empire?” (Thrawn x Reader)
“How would Thrawn react to someone who stutters?” (Thrawn x Reader)
“How you think Thrawn would react to his partner telling him they love him” (Thrawn x Reader)
In Secret Kiss (Thrawn x Captain)
“Spread your legs. I want to feel how turned on I  made you.” and “You’re really bad at hiding  how turned on you  are.” (Thrawn x Reader)(18+)
“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” (Thrawn x Reader) (18+)
Moving Around While Kissing, Stumbling Over Things, Pushing Each Other Back Against The Wall/Onto The Bed (Eli Vanto x Reader)
Takeaways from reflecting on your kick-ass writing, or kick-ass lack of writing, during a year more focused on survival than perhaps any other: 
I maybe need to stop indulging in drabbles and actually get around to finishing my WIPs.  I think I’d feel a lot better while giving my readers some closure. That all being said, I wrote a lot more than I thought I did.  I was feeling bad this year for not being very productive in my writing.  But, it looks like I actually was.
Most surprising fic you wrote this year: 
Probably all of the M*A*S*H stuff.  I will say I didn’t expect M*A*S*H and The Clone Wars to be my comfort shows this year.  Yet, here we are.
How you grew as a writer this year: 
I believe my prose have gotten better and I certainly expanded on my smut writing.  With any luck I’ll only improve as time goes on.
What’s coming in 2021: 
I will finish all my WIPs.  I’m going to do it.  I’m going to focus on WIPs exclusively until they’re all finished.  I might do drabbles for milestones, but I’m going to try a limit it next year to focus on finishing works.
Tagging: Whoever wants to give it a shot!
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avonne-writes · 3 years
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Scorpion Grass - part 5
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Pairing: Loki/Mobius, Steve/Thor (background)
Rating, word count (chapter): M, 5.3k
Chapter summary:  There's a debate about music, Loki has a gender affirming experience in San Francisco and something is revealed about Mobius' past. 
Link to the AO3 post
Breakfast on a beach front patio in the dazzling sunshine is about as spectacular as it gets, but the cherry on top is Thor's expression as he watches Loki from across the table. Loki smirks. He sent his brother a text before he went to sleep last night, snug in Mobius' embrace - 'went out, see you at Capitola tomorrow' - and, based on his face, Thor has cycled through every emotion from relief to shame since then. Apparently, he's ready to go for Loki's throat at this point.
It's amusing. It must be taking all of Thor's self-control not to start the argument, but they both know that he can't say anything in front of their parents. If Father knew what happened last night, he'd skin Thor alive. Loki has the upper hand here and he basks in that knowledge without remorse. Serves Thor right.
He crosses his legs as he turns to watch the cheerful tumble of the waves. Warmth radiates from the wooden table his forearms are resting on, and the light reflected from the blue stretch of water makes him squint. He lets his sunglasses fall over his eyes. This way, he can pretend at least that he's smiling at something funny happening on the beach, and not at the memory of Mobius' kisses on his thighs. If he squeezes his legs together, he can feel the ache of the small bruises Mobius left behind. He wonders if next time he can rile him up enough to get some actual hickeys too.
When their parents leave the table to greet a couple they know from their hotel, Thor grabs Loki's wrist.
"Where have you been?" He growls.
"Places."
"You can't just up and disappear like that!"
Loki frees his hand, going from serene to angry in one second flat. "I didn't want to interrupt your tryst."
Thor goes red as a tomato. "I thought you were asleep."
"Evidently not."
It takes Thor a few seconds to recover from that, his fists clenched and a storm raging in his expression. His fury returns. "That's no excuse, you can't go out without telling anyone!"
"I'm a fucking adult, I can do whatever I want."
Their mom turns back to them, a smile on her lips but the first shadows of a frown between her eyebrows. "Now, what's going on there?"
"Nothing." They say in chorus. Loki scowls. He hates it when he and Thor speak at the same time.
"Be nice to each other."
Loki gives her a beatific smile. "I'm always nice."
Thor kicks him.
»»————-  ————-««
 That sets the mood between the two of them for the rest of the day. They avoid each other, too caught up in their own sulking to make up. Just as well, Loki thinks. Soon enough, they will be hundreds of miles apart and won't talk to each other at all. It's high time they get used to it.
Their family visits another beach, Natural Bridges. Although it's small and the water is full of kelp, Loki enjoys being there, walking along the trail on the cliff and taking in the views from there. He leans against the wooden railing and watches the people below, listens to the shrieking seagulls and the waves breaking on the rocks. It's rather dramatic. The wind pulling at his skirt and the loose locks of his hair makes him feel like a tragic heroine. The only thing missing is the rain pouring down and mixing with tears of joy or sadness.
He bides his time and waits for the most opportune moment to ask his question - when his father is sufficiently tired to be somewhat more malleable than iron. He's not leaving anything to chance. He'll go with Mobius one way or another, but it would be better if he actually had permission.
They're at the tide pools, standing around some crabs and green sea anemones, when he decides to go for it. White lies work better, that much everyone knows. So he spins a speech about wanting to be in a city that has more than five streets, to meet people and experience a rush of excitement the beach cannot provide, and he tags the true lie at the end - that he'd go with a friend.
"A friend?" Father harrumphs. He wasn't born yesterday either, and Loki has to hide his hands behind his back to keep himself from fidgeting under his gaze. His parents share a look.
"Do we know this person?" His mom asks.
"He's one of the lifeguards at Capitola. Mobius." Loki replies smoothly. He knows what appeals to his parents, and a responsible job is high up on the list. They still seem pensive though, so Loki gives Thor a look. One that suggests he will not hesitate to bring up last night if he doesn't get his way.
"I know him." Thor says then, caving under the pressure. "He's a good guy."
The way their parents' resolve crumbles is like a beautifully crafted show. Loki gives it one last push. "It's only for one day, I'll join you on Sunday anyway."
When his mom smiles at his father, Loki knows he has won.
"Alright." Odin nods. "You can go."
For the first time in months, if not years, Loki's tempted to give him a hug.
   »»————-  ————-««
Thor's still asleep when he and Mobius leave in the morning. Since Loki doesn't want to talk to him anyway, he doesn't wake him up, just tiptoes out of the apartment and shakes the bitter taste of déjà vu away. Sneaking out is almost second nature to him by now. It's stupid to feel bad about it.
Once he's in the car, he gives Mobius a peck, hoping it doesn't come off as awkward as he feels. He doesn't tend to meet up with people again after he has slept with them. This is how couples act, right? Sharing casual kisses and PDA. Loki's not being weird, is he?
He sweats in his denim jacket because Mobius keeps staring at him instead of starting the car. "What?"
Mobius smiles. "I like your makeup."
Loki's equal parts flattered and embarrassed. He fists his hands in his seatbelt. "Stop gawking and drive."
Mobius huffs, rubs the line of Loki's shoulders, then starts the engine and pulls away from the curb.
They take the scenic coastal route on Highway 1, along rugged beaches and spots of fog rolling in from the Pacific to the golden land. It's not the shortest drive from Santa Cruz, but Loki has no doubt that it's the most beautiful, and it makes him suspect that Mobius wants to impress him with it. When he says as much, Mobius breaks into a lopsided smile, eyes fixed resolutely on the road.
"Is it working?"
Loki trails his gaze over the views ahead. "Maybe. If you had better taste in music."
"What?" Mobius laughs. "I've heard you humming along!"
"I couldn't help it, these refrains are addictive." Loki gestures at the stereo's touch screen in disgust. "I feel like you're taking me back to the 80s."
"The best decade of music."
"Blasphemy."
"It all went downhill after the end of hair metal."
"How can you say that without irony?"
Mobius shrugs, biting back a smirk. "I'm a very serious man."
"Right." Loki snickers. "No sense of humor at all."
"I'm dead inside."
"Let me show you some real music and you'll be revived."
Mobius smiles. "You're welcome to try."
The minutes fly by. They spend the rest of the drive alternating between bickering and heartfelt conversation, and Loki gets completely immersed in the summer joy radiating from all around him, from the glint of sunshine on the leaves, from the blue sky and the affection in Mobius' voice. The sardonic facade he's used to putting on falls away.
The weather is surprisingly cool in San Francisco when they arrive, and Loki's glad for his jacket now, seeing people in spaghetti straps shivering in the parking lot of their hotel. Although he wanted to, he didn't dare go for a sundress, but the cut of his floral shirt and his makeup are pretty enough to make the guy in the elevator stare. Loki raises a flirty eyebrow at him, and the man looks down, embarrassed. Without saying a word, Mobius steps between them and lays his hand on the small of Loki's back, pulling him close.
When the man gets out, Loki whispers into Mobius' ear. "Jealous already?"
Mobius makes an irritated sound, then gives him a kiss.
   »»————-  ————-««
They explore the city on foot, walking through streets of blooming hydrangeas and plane trees before catching one of the buses to the city center. They don't go down to the most tourist-packed sights - Loki's sure he's going to check them out with his family anyway - but they do ride a cable car up Nob Hill. It's thrilling, although not something Loki would care to repeat often. As he hangs onto one of the poles, traffic zooms by only a few feet from his legs and the car clanks and lurches forward like an old train. It's easy to imagine that he's on another trip back in time as he glances at the warm hues of wood and leather, and the way the sunshine breaks through the windows when they pass an intersection. Sweet nostalgia. At one of the stops, Mobius calls his name, and when Loki turns to smile at him, he snaps a photo. Loki will never admit it, but it's a moment when he feels truly beautiful in his body.
After they've hopped off the cable car, they wander around in Little Italy for a while, window shopping. The city has a laid-back but lively buzz that's a relief after Santa Cruz's sleepy surfer life. Loki would be much more comfortable living here than in Thor's apartment, that much he knows. This is the kind of excitement he yearns for, the constant weirdness of a big city, the chance to discover something new every day. Despite the dirt covering the streets, San Francisco is wonderful in his eyes.
At one point, he and Mobius enter an offbeat record store and continue their debate about music while sifting through a cluttered collection of indie CDs and psychedelic rock albums. Loki happens upon a CD titled "Valkyrie" with some grotesque interpretation of Norse mythology on its cover, and he laughs as he imagines giving this to Thor for his birthday. The perfect gag gift.
"My father would love this place." He tells Mobius, trailing a fingertip over the cover of a Janis Joplin vinyl. "He'd never show it, of course, but… He was a huge hippie back in the day."
"Hard to imagine."
"Mom says he wishes he had been born earlier and had a chance to see Woodstock."
Mobius hums. "He seems to be a strict parent though. Especially with you."
Loki's smile dims. He puts the Valkyrie CD back. "It wasn't always like that."
"I see."
"What about your dad? What's he like?" He changes the topic quickly. "I don't know anything about your family."
"I never knew him." Mobius puts his hands in his pockets and ambles down the aisle, waiting until Loki follows. "According to my mom, he was an asshole who didn't deserve her miracle boy."
"Miracle boy, huh?"
"I was born premature."
They stop at the back of the shop, hidden behind a shelf. Loki steps close to Mobius and cards his fingers through his silver hair. "Always running ahead of your time."
Mobius smiles and kisses him. "That's right. You ready to go?"
"Yes." Loki steals another kiss, then pulls away and links their arms together. They're heading for the door when he speaks up again. "Thor weighed ten pounds when he was born."
Mobius winces. "Your poor mother."
   »»————-  ————-««
Their next stop is City Lights, the historic bookstore where the Beat movement stretched its wings for the first time. It's homey and delightfully avant-garde with its old posters and a plethora of controversial literature. There's a space for quiet reading upstairs, and Loki sits in one of the wooden chairs by the window, suffused with the scent of paper, and opens a book. It keeps him entertained while Mobius takes care of some errands at a nearby hospital.
He's not really into beat poetry, but he likes the magical flow of surrealism and the collection he picked up has plenty of that too. He flips through it idly, sinking into his own thoughts and emotions. One of the poems reminds him of an exhibition his father took him to several years ago. He remembers seeing Magritte's Castle of the Pyrenees, that huge, desolate painting and feeling like he was looking into a mirror. He stood in front of it for so long that Odin noticed his fascination and, in a rare burst of inspiration, bought him a poster of it. It's a pity that Loki cut it into a thousand pieces when everything went to hell.
He's startled out of his sadness by a hand landing on his shoulder.
"Sorry, sorry." Mobius soothes him. "I thought you saw me."
Loki smiles and stands up. "It's okay."
"Are you going to buy that?"
"No, it's horrible." He shakes his head as he and Mobius make their way out of the room. There's a sign above the stairs that he takes note of. Where the streets of the world meet the avenues of the mind. How apt, he thinks.
"Did you get everything done?" He turns to Mobius once they're out of the store.
"Yes." Mobius says, relief in his voice. He takes Loki's hand, pulling him towards the adjacent café, past the colorful murals of the alley between the buildings. "Let's get something to eat."
   »»————-  ————-««
Later in the afternoon, they return to the hotel to freshen up. Loki showers and wipes all the makeup off his face, then shoots a quick text to his mom to tell her that everything's alright. He plops down on the bed and closes his eyes. It's an immense relief to lie down on top of the covers and let the softness under his back drain his exhaustion. They walked so much that his legs ache. They're going to meet some of Mobius' friends in a few hours, but perhaps he should beg off and just hang around here. He'll stick out like a sore thumb anyway. A summer fling isn't someone you want your friends to remember.
He listens to Mobius puttering around in the bathroom. It's cozy. Too good to last, but Loki likes it anyway. This is what having a boyfriend feels like, he thinks. The mattress dips beside him, but he doesn't look up, just waits. When the back of Mobius' hand finds his cheek, his lips curl into a lazy smile. "Give me a kiss."
Mobius' fingers tickle his ear. "Is that an order?"
"A humble request." Loki drawls. Nothing humble about it.
He feels the warmth of Mobius' amused exhale on his face and smells minty toothpaste. The pillow crinkles on both sides of his head where Mobius must be propping himself up, and there's a warm weight on his chest as Mobius leans over him, his bare skin supple from the shower. A moment of anticipation follows. When the kiss doesn't come, Loki huffs and moves for it himself, pushing up blindly. He catches Mobius' lower lip by mistake, but pretends it was his intention, looping an arm around Mobius' neck to pull him down.
"I believe it's my turn to show my appreciation." He says. His right hand toys with the waistband of Mobius' boxer briefs.
"What did you have in mind?" Mobius kisses his neck. "We can always switch."
A sense of discomfort washes over Loki. He can't help but freeze for a moment. "Maybe later."
Unfortunately, Mobius takes notice of his pause. He pulls away, frowning. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No." Loki avoids his eyes. He can feel the cogs turning in Mobius' head, can almost see it when he catches on. "Stop thinking."
"Can I ask you…" Mobius trails off in a rare show of uncertainty. He shifts off Loki, back onto his side. His absence leaves Loki's chest cold.
"Yes?"
"About your gender identity."
"It's not that important." Loki lies. He doesn't want to lose this connection because of his issues. They don't have much time left anyway. He can't ruin it.
Mobius shakes his head. "I think it is."
Loki shrugs, his left arm resting across his chest. "Sometimes I feel like a woman and would rather be treated as one. Then the next day, I'm a man. Most times I'm… ambiguous." He sighs. "All pronouns are fine, but if you make an effort, I appreciate it."
He's not used to talking about it with people he wants to impress. He always tries to adapt to be attractive for the specific person he wants to pursue. Tries to find out what they want. He has only ever talked about it in depth with his mom and the counsellor he had for a few years. It's a vulnerable feeling to reveal even this much about it.
But Mobius just nods, calm and accepting as ever. "And how are you feeling right now?"
Loki searches his eyes. He can count the times someone considered this on one hand. Alright, his mom and Thor usually know without asking, but still. It feels nice to be able to say it out loud. "Feminine."
He looks away from Mobius' gaze. "That's why I don't want to switch. It's the one thing I'm picky about."
Mobius strokes his neck and tucks his hair behind his ear. "Anything you'd especially like to do?"
Loki frowns. Aside from not wanting to top, he can't imagine any other way to make a difference. "I don't know."
"Because I thought we could explore that. If you want."
"Okay."
He doesn't know what he expects, but it's certainly not Mobius lifting the hand Loki's resting on his chest and putting his mouth on Loki's nipple. It's a wet sensation that sends shivers through Loki's body. He can't decide if he likes it or not, it's too good and too strange at the same time.
"What are you doing?" He starts chuckling and pushes at Mobius' face gently. "Stop it."
Mobius replaces his mouth with his fingers. "You don't like it?"
Loki just keeps snickering and turns to lie on his stomach, away from that confusing touch. He hides most of his expression in his pillow, looking at Mobius with one eye.
Mobius smiles, perplexed. "What?"
"Don't do that."
"Why not?"
Loki's face is aflame. He has never been this embarrassed since he lost his virginity. He slides his hands under his torso. "I don't have breasts."
"Everyone does."
"Don't be obtuse." Loki grumbles. "They're completely flat."
"It doesn't bother me."
They look at each other, Loki with wide eyes, Mobius with a 'why not?' written in his expression. It's not that Loki has never had his chest touched. But it was always a cursory thing, something his one-night stands did for two seconds, tops. He suspects that Mobius has different plans, and that makes him nervous. What if he doesn't like it? What if he likes it too much? God. The mere idea makes him hard as steel. Slowly, he turns back, his heart racing frantically in his body, and he reaches for Mobius' head to pull him down. Mobius gives him a kiss.
When he returns to Loki's nipples, Loki closes his eyes. He feels Mobius' tongue caressing his skin and the brush of his moustache, and when he sucks, the tugging sensation spikes arousal deep in Loki's body. He bites his lip and squirms, but Mobius' arms wrap around him to hold him in place until he can't do anything but take it, his fingers clenched in Mobius' hair.
Mobius blows cool air on both of his tingling nipples, then raises his eyes. "What do you think?"
Loki's already breathless and they've barely even done anything. Like hell is he going to admit it though. "Not bad."
That amused, crooked smile is back. "Not bad." Mobius repeats, capturing one of Loki's nipples between his knuckles and playing with it until Loki closes his eyes again. "I think we can improve that."
Although Loki wants it with a fiery desire that almost scares him, he shakes his head. It's scary to give himself over so completely, but Mobius doesn't let him shy away from it. He buries his face in Loki's neck for a moment, then breathes into his ear. "I'll get the lube."
If Loki thinks they're going to get down to business now, he's wrong. Mobius rolls on top of him and fingers him open for what feels like hours, sucking and playing with his nipples. He drives Loki out of all his hiding places with his fingers and teeth and mouth until there's nothing that could cover how Loki truly feels, no glamour. He sighs and pushes into Mobius' touch, holding Mobius' head down with one hand and clinging to his biceps with the other, feeling the muscles tense rhythmically under his palm.
It's so gender affirming that Loki could cry. He has never had such an attentive partner before. No one has ever made him forget the limits of his body. It was always him molding himself to their desires, whether they wanted someone to bend them over or a pliable bottom spurring them on. God, what pleasure he's been missing out on.
He reaches down between them and finds Mobius hard and leaking in the confines of his underwear. When his cock slips into Loki's loose grip, he bites the nipple in his mouth and makes Loki gasp.
"Sit up." Loki pushes at Mobius' torso. "Sit back against the headboard."
Seduction and propriety are far from his mind now, he's too drunk on euphoria for that. He grabs the condom on the bedside table and rolls it on for Mobius, too impatient to let him do it himself, and just climbs into his lap before Mobius could even take his underwear the rest of the way off.
"Loki…" Mobius moans, stunned, and sighs when Loki starts riding him.
Loki squeezes the arm that holds him around the waist, using his other hand to guide Mobius' mouth back to his chest. His stomach ripples. He makes a guttural sound. "You feel so good."
It's a mad dash from there, their bodies moving together in the silent room while the citrus colors of the sunset paint the walls. It's hard to believe that they're doing this in broad daylight without a hint of alcohol, that Loki actually wants someone enough to be this wanton for them, and that's the thought that drives him over the edge in the end, that he's laid open and taken just the way he is. Without anything to hide him.
He's a trembling mess by the time Mobius finishes. I'm in trouble, he thinks as they lie next to each other in their post-sex haze. He fucked up. Shouldn't have revealed this much about himself. Shouldn't have let Mobius look at him the way he wanted to be looked at. What a dumb, colossal mistake. He's getting attached.
"That was incredible." Mobius exhales blissfully, oblivious.
Loki whimpers. "I'm so fucking sore."
Mobius grabs his hand, pulls it up to his lips and kisses the back of it.
   »»————-  ————-««
Somehow, they drag themselves out of their room and to the bar where they're meeting Mobius' friends. Loki's nipples hurt so much that he has to wear a bra under his shirt and he's still conscious of them every time he moves. He can't settle between irritation and self-satisfaction when he thinks about it.
The place is relaxed but not shady, and it has a dance floor. He and Mobius sit at the bar, discussing the art nouveau decor, the glass flowers and mermaids, and the strange cocktails they've decided to try. Loki's fake ID works like a dream, as always. It must be his height that makes it so convincing, he supposes, giddy that he got away with it once again. A bunch of people pass them, smelling like pot, and one of them offers Loki a joint with a come hither look in her pretty eyes. Loki winks at her and takes it, but Mobius picks it out of his hand and throws it into the trash.
"It wouldn't have been my first, you know." Loki informs him when he comes back.
"Who knows what they put in it."
"I'm not scared of that." Loki laughs at Mobius' disapproving frown. "Oh, knock it off."
Before he can argue any further, a woman in a vibrant, glittering blouse comes up to them and pats Mobius' shoulder. Mobius' face lights up. "Becca!"
They hug, then Mobius introduces Loki to her. She's intimidating - not just because she's Mobius' hero, but because of the fierce glint in her eyes that tells Loki he shouldn't get on her bad side. She's nice to him though, and doesn't bring up how strange his presence is. The only thing that gives her surprise away is the way she keeps glancing between him and Mobius, trying to figure them out.
Then the rest of Mobius' friends show up, all paramedics, and Loki's swept into a wave of handshakes and polite chit-chat. Someone says they should move over to a booth, so he hops off his bar stool, but the party doesn't move immediately and he ends up leaning back against Mobius' legs, feeling a little awkward. Mobius puts a reassuring hand on his back.
"Moby, why didn't you tell us about him?" One of the girls asks, and Loki wants the ground to swallow him whole. Of course he didn't mention Loki, he's just a glorified one-night stand.
"I'm secretive." Mobius shrugs and pushes Loki forward, prompting his friends to move at long last.
Aside from that uncomfortable moment, Loki loosens up quickly. He shows off his witty and interesting sides as if he was brandishing them like brilliant illusions. It takes him no effort to slip into the role of a suave and confident man, and he has everyone wrapped around his finger in no time. He doesn't think about what he did with Mobius only a few hours ago and doesn't listen to the voice that tells him this is not his true self. This is how charms work.
When the crowd starts thinning and they're all tipsy enough to spill things they don't quite want to, Becca scoots into the seat beside him.
"He really likes you." She gestures at Mobius, who's saying goodbye to some of his departing friends at the entrance.
"I know."
"You're the first person he introduced to me since Ravonna."
Loki raises his eyebrows. He wants to ask about this mysterious Ravonna, but it's not really his place, he figures. "We barely know each other."
"But you understand him. I think he missed that feeling." Becca says, perhaps a bit too drunk to make sense. Loki certainly doesn't think he has given Mobius anything special.
"I can't promise I won't break his heart." He says warily.
"Oh, I know you will." Becca shakes her head.
Loki narrows his eyes. "Look, I've been honest from the beginning. He knows this isn't going anywhere."
"I didn't mean it like that." She placates him. "Thank you for drawing him out of his shell."
There's nothing Loki can say to that. He doesn't know what she's talking about.
"Everything okay?" Mobius asks when he comes back.
Loki leans into him. "Let's dance." Anything to get away from Becca's perceptive look.
"I don't dance." Mobius says with a self-deprecating smile.
"Dance with me."
Mobius shakes his head.
Well, Loki's not above playing dirty. "I'll have to dance with someone else then."
The possessive kiss that lands on his lips after that makes him laugh.
   »»————-  ————-««
On the way back from the bar, they ride the Muni Metro. Mobius wraps an arm around Loki's waist as they wait for the train to arrive, and Loki curls into it, yawning. It's late. The night is as dark as it gets in a city of this size. Colorful neon glows in the stores that are still open, and the cars gliding through the street are a flash of orange and red light as they roll past. The leaves on the palm trees across the street flutter in the breeze. Loki watches a pair of moths circling around the lamp post on his right, and has a terrifying thought. He can imagine doing this on a mundane workday after a late-night class or after an evening spent in an office. He can see himself going home with Mobius every day. Wishful thinking. He has to give himself a figurative slap to stop it.
"Who's Ravonna?"
He feels Mobius tense, but he gets an honest answer. "She was my best friend."
"Was?"
"We're not in touch anymore. She hurt me and I disappointed her. I guess we were both at fault." He laughs, but it's not a happy one. "We shared an apartment in Palo Alto for years. She thought we would go to Stanford Law together, but I didn't want to do it anymore."
Loki puts his hand on the one Mobius keeps on his waist. "And she left you because of that?" He scoffs.
"She said I let myself go after… after my accident. We fought about it all the time. One day, she told me the grey in my hair looked ugly and unkempt, so I dyed it silver out of spite. I moved down to Santa Cruz the next week."
"Oh, you're petty. I like that." Loki teases to make the mood somewhat lighter. "If that's any consolation, I'd never leave you over your hair."
Mobius' laugh is genuine this time. "Very noble of you, kitten."
   »»————-  ————-««
They have sex again that night, spooning back to chest and clinging to each other's hands. Loki tries not to think about the joy of doing it with the same person again, but fails miserably. It's the first time he has to struggle not to say a name as the pleasure builds up in him, the first time it's hard to keep quiet about how good it feels. He fights it.
Mobius drifts off as soon as they've cleaned up, but Loki can't find the sanctuary of sleep and stays awake with his troubled thoughts for a long time. He strokes Mobius' wrist with his index finger, wishing they were cuddling instead of lying on their sides a foot away, facing each other. These new emotions confuse him. He doesn't know how to describe them and how to compartmentalize when they take over his mind. Is this what a fulfilled crush feels like or is it something more?
He turns around and grabs his phone, texting the only friend he has who's likely to be awake at such an obscure time at night.
'Sylvie'
The three dots appear within seconds. She sends back a single question mark.
'hypothetically, can you fall in love in one week?'
Loki holds his breath. He doesn't know what he's hoping to get out of this conversation, some reassurance, maybe, or someone to ask about his feelings, but Sylvie is not the one who will give him that.
'yes it's called delusion'
'hypothetically'
'I hate you'
'you hate that I'm right'
'don't get hurt'
'see you next week'
Next week. Loki sighs. He drops his phone back on the bedside table and rubs his eyes. What is he doing here?
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amandaoftherosemire · 3 years
Text
Another Update!!
Hello friends!! So. Here's what's up with me.
Those of you who've been with me for a while know that I used to be a lot more active around here. I responded to every comment; I answered every ask in a timely manner. I read other writers’ fanfic and reacted dramatically and enthusiastically. I used to be fun, is my point. Then, tragedy struck. Two years ago, I injured my right shoulder pirouetting in midair to avoid stomping on my sweet little chihuahua Spike, who was underfoot because he just loves food and I had some in my hand. That led to a two-year period in which everything I do takes two to three times longer thanks to having to rest my arm to avoid hurting it more than I already did. I don’t get as much done as I used to.
Evidently, I am capable of tearing my rotator cuff and my labrum without falling or running into something. I can do it simply with the force of my own will when sufficiently motivated. But if my choices are hurting my shoulder or killing my dog, I'm gonna take the shoulder thing. Even though I have not gotten a good night's sleep in two years thanks to not being able to sleep on my right side, as is my habit and preference. I'm also right-handed so I've had to rely more on my non-dominant hand, and it is frustrating as hell. Ambidextrous I am not.
Enough whinging! Anyway, finally, thank the heavens and the earth, next Thursday I am going in for surgery to put everything back the way it should be, but it turns out this is going to be a pain in the ass recovery. I will have little to no use of my right arm for a month and then it's a lot of physical therapy. My surgeon said that he hopes to have me back to normal by Christmas. I am tired just thinking about it.
What this means is that I'll be on a half hiatus for the next five weeks at the least. I will probably not answer any comments or reblogs, not that I'm any good at taking the time to do that now. But I also may not be able to answer asks or direct messages. I will try, but I really don't know how bad the next few weeks are going to be for me and I don't like to make promises I can't keep.
The half part of half hiatus is because I have been working on a Loki fic for the last few weeks. The first five parts are done, and I will be setting them to post every two weeks before I go in for surgery. I'm hopeful that by the time the first five have posted, I'll be writing again and can jump right back in without making y'all wait too long between parts.
I am also hopeful that when my recovery is complete, I can come back and be a more active member of this community. I love the Marvel fandom, and I miss the friends I've made here. I would like to make friends with my newer followers, too! For everyone who has left a comment or reblog, I saw it, and I promise you, I made a high-pitched happy sound just knowing someone read my writing and liked it. I write because I am merely a conduit for the words; I cannot stop the flow, but I enjoy it because wonderful people like you guys are out there in the world putting a little positivity into it. Thank you.
See y'all on the flipside. 😉😁💖
 P.S.
Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 Trans Rights Now 💖💖💖
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Deepthroating-Loki
Relationship: Loki/Reader
Word Count: 1378
Rating: Mature
Summary: Deepthroating with Loki.
Link: Found here on my AO3
“Good morning, my pet,” Loki purred in your ear as you woke up. His cool hands moved over your already exposed skin. “I hope you slept well.”
“Good morning,” Your voice was still groggy from sleep as you rolled over to face your boyfriend. “I did…sleep well.”
“Good.” 
Loki placed a kiss on your cheek before rolling out of bed. His exposed skin seemed to glow in the morning light. He stretched up in front of the huge windows that faced downtown New York. He almost seemed to take pleasure in the possibility that someone might see his naked body. You, on the other hand, wrapped a blanket around you and walked up to give the man a kiss on the cheek. The god blushed before wrapping his long arms around your waist. 
“We should get to breakfast,” You mumbled into Loki’s chest. “We can’t be late again.”
“But Y/N,” Loki whined into your neck and rubbed his very obvious morning wood. “I’m hard.”
“I can tell sweetie but we can’t be late to breakfast again, you hear me?”
Loki groaned and broke away from you. He snapped his fingers and clothes magically appeared on him. He would never be caught in anything but his Asgardian clothing or his mortal suits. You still had to put your clothes on the old fashioned way. You undid your blanket dress as you riffled through the dresser for some sufficient clothing for breakfast with the rest of the Avengers. 
“If you’re good,” You began your offer as you pulled on a shirt and pants. “Maybe you’ll get lucky later.”
Loki perked up and almost rushed out into the bathroom. You smiled lightly as you followed him in a few seconds later. By the time that you had gotten into the bathroom, Loki had finished brushing his teeth, smiling at you as he waited for you to finish what you needed to do in the bathroom. His impatience poured into the room as he tapped his fingers on the sink before going to work on fixing his already perfect hair. 
“Why are you taking so long,” Loki whined for the second time this morning as he fiddled with one piece of hair that didn’t quite sit on his head right. 
“Patience is everything.” You spit out your toothpaste and walked out of the bathroom. 
Breakfast was just you, Sam, Tony, Pepper and Loki today. But it was Tony who had prepared the lavish breakfast. The man may have been a genius but that man could cook a mean waffle too. The rest seemed oblivious to what you were doing to Loki. Or if they knew, they didn’t want to bring it up at breakfast. 
Your nondominant hand rested on Loki’s thigh, rubbing it lightly while you ate. If Loki was hard before, he was getting harder by the moment. He seemed to have trouble keeping it all in while you ate. His hand shook as you got closer to the place he wanted you to be but as soon as you would get close to his hard cock, you would run you hand back down to his knee. You shot Loki a look, one of his hands wrapped around his knife, knuckles white. 
“Thanks for breakfast, Tony.” Even if you had known Tony for awhile, you would never get down to the nickname level with the scientist. 
“Oh, no problem Y/N. My pleasure.”
That was the end of the breakfast conversation with the rest of them. No one ever really spoke at breakfast but that was fine by you. That meant Loki had to keep his moans to a minimum. His hand still shook as he moved towards the table and steadied his elbow on the table. This was when you had the most control over the god. When he couldn’t even speak back to you. He just had to take the teasing that you were giving him. You continued rubbing up and down his thigh, this time gripping his dick lightly in your hand every so often. Solid as a rock. 
You kept shooting looks at Loki. Each time getting more and more intense with your movements under the table. Loki was so close. His cock twitching in his pants. One final look from you and Loki’s dick twitched one final time and a wetness met your hand through the pants. 
“I th-think I’m done,” Loki shot up with his plate still in his hand and moved to the sink, attempting to cover up the new stain in his pants. Tony let out a laugh and shot a look at you. 
“What the hell were you doing under that table, sweetheart?” Tony let out a chuckle, putting a hand in front of his mouth to keep food from spilling out of his mouth. 
“Nothing,” You replied innocently as you got up and placed your own dishes in the sink. “But we’ll get the dishes when you’re all done. Just give us a call.”
Tony laughed as you followed Loki back into your bedroom. The door was open but as soon as you walked into the room, Loki closed the door behind you. Loki already had his pants and boxers off. Damn him and his magic. He was ready to go at any time. 
“On your knees,” Loki demanded. You dropped to your knees, looking up at him with innocent eyes. “Do you know what you did, little one?”
“No,” You replied as innocently as if you really hadn’t done what you did only moments before. “What did I do, daddy?” 
Loki wrapped a hand around your throat and gave it a light squeeze, “You got daddy all hard at the breakfast table. Now you’re going to fix it.” 
You nodded as you waited for more instructions from Loki. He tilted his head to the side and looked down at his dick. He was waiting on you to do the deed. You took his dick in your hand and stroked it carefully. A moan escaped the god’s mouth as you applied a bit more pressure to his dick. He moved, placing a hand on the wall behind you. His eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as you continued stroking his dick. 
“Put it in your mouth little one. I want to feel your pretty little mouth around my dick,” Loki begged. You took your hand off of his cock and looked up at him. 
“Then open your eyes and look at me like a man,” You demanded. Loki’s eyes snapped open and he gripped a handful of your hair, a moan escaping your own lips as you moved towards his dick. 
“You sure you want this?” Loki’s voice had turned soft as you waited on your knees. “I could always finish this in the bathroom if you want.”
You nodded but before you could say anything, Loki took your nod and entered your mouth, fucking your throat. Such an inpatient man but he had gotten all that he had needed from you. He was so long and thick that when it hit the back of your throat, you gagged on him. Loki stopped and pulled back from you as you caught your breath. 
“Yes, I want this,” You sputtered as you looked up at him, stroking his dick in your hand while you waited for Loki to re-enter your mouth. 
Loki entered your mouth once more and continued to fuck your throat like some toy. You gagged and choked on his dick. He smiled down at you as you took his dick like a champ. He stopped for a moment once he entered your mouth all the way. You finally had the time to close your mouth and bobbed your head back and forth. Loki smiled down at you as you worked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth with your hand. Loki’s cock twitched once more in your hands before spilling all into your mouth. 
You swallowed what Loki had spilled into your mouth and stood up to face Loki, “You were quick.”
“Helps when the person sucking me off got me really excited,” Loki smiled lightly as he snapped on some new clothes and wrapped an arm around you. “Let’s go get those dishes cleaned up.” 
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themilky-way · 4 years
Text
kinship {loki odinson}
Tumblr media
gif credit: go-fandom-imagines
pairing: loki odinson x female! reader
summary: loki never thought that he’d defend, let alone protect, a midgardian. but after seeing you, in your most vulnerable states, he made it his mission to look after you. loosely based on this song. 
warnings: some hints of violence (nothing too graphic), blood, and like one bad word. also when the characters say “kid” to you, it’s nothing age wise it’s just something i feel they’d call you yk.
notes: i’m in my loki feels ya’ll know the drill i just miss this man. also ik some of u ladies don’t have long hair i’m sorry! i’m having a little trouble making the words fit and stuff so please give me tips on how to improve!
the first time it happened was when you were sleeping. he never meant to walk in on your frail body, curled up in a ball in the over sized armchair tony had installed in the common room. your feet were tucked in neatly beneath you, with one hand splayed out across your stomach while the other held a book, your thumb keeping it partially open. your head had lolled down so it could rest on the arm rest, and while at first it had been rather uncomfortable, you let your eyes naturally droop so they could rest. 
it had been the middle of the night, roughly around two in the morning, when loki decided to walk around the tower. he did this every so often, finding some sort of comfort from the peace and quiet the darkness held, but he had never encountered anybody else. he walked down the hall and past every avenger’s room, until he reached the living room. originally, his plan was to stand at the wide glass window the room displayed and simply watch the city lights glitter in all sorts of patterns. after that, he would go to the terrace for a bit, just enough for the sun to come up and the sky to change to warmer colors. but he didn’t do that tonight. why? well, he didn’t really know the answer to that himself. 
when he entered the room, he came across your sleeping form. he noticed the way in which you nestled your body further down the fur of the cushion and curled yourself into your body just a little more to stop goosebumps from forming. you were cold, your body heat not enough to cover the sharp temperatures that reached you. loki, taking note of this, took off his cardigan, and walked over to where you were sleeping. he straightened the delicate fabric before he laid the emerald green sweater over your frame. he tucked it in where he felt it might fall over with a random movement, careful to not dig his fingers in too deeply so it would hurt or startle you. next, he took the liberty to carefully retract the open book from your hand to place it on the coffee table, and then grabbed more of his cardigan so it covered your relaxed hand and tummy. he drew back a few steps, to examine his work. he felt it was mediocre, not as good as it might’ve been if steve or wanda had done it, but it was enough for you to rest. 
loki was not a man who grasped the concept of emotional connections very well. he was someone who didn’t have a feel for intimacy, who despised physical touch, who didn’t know anything about feelings other than hatred or malice. but here he was, peering down at your frail body, in one of its most fragile states that could possibly exist, and felt something. he didn’t know what it was, and he knew he didn’t want to find out, but it would reach him. the feeling, along with the desire, to get to know you in more intricate ways. 
he walked over to the couch a couple of feet to the right of where you were and took a seat, folding his left leg onto the soft, plush seat while the other one remained planted on the marbled floor. he had a view of the window, like he originally planned to study, but he found his attention drifting to another sight. he observed how quietly you breathed, the soft exhales that your nose released every few seconds. after a while, he noticed how your lips parted slightly and began to exhale with it instead. the soft breaths turned louder, and your snores were now evident to him. they weren’t loud, barely even there, and only lasted a minute or two before they returned to regular breathing. 
he also noticed how the hair on top of your head was beginning to disperse from its neat place. the soft, baby hairs that adorned the sides of your forehead lost their place and decided to scavenge for another, and the more you adjusted your head, the more they ruffled. he also saw the way your body slightly trembled from the sudden gusts of wind the air conditioner would send, and how you finally embraced his clothing. it sent a thrill through loki, the thought, the image of you breathing in his scent that lingered on his sweater, how you seemed to like it and do it so mindlessly. it empowered him. and so he stayed there until dawn. 
the next time loki encountered you in a similar state was two weeks later. tony had sent him to fetch you for a mission that was risky, and he had felt bad to include you since you had put in some vacation hours. loki, although he would never openly admit to anyone nor himself, had conducted some research on you since he first saw you. he knew you were stressed, deeply longing some time off to unwind and focus on yourself, and he seemed almost hesitant to follow through with stark’s request. nevertheless, he started his way up to your room, following the route to the elevator, and cutting some sharp corners to finally reach your corridor. as he was strolling down it, however, he caught the hints of different patternized beats and melodies coming from the end of it. he kept his ears perked in case he heard someone else, brows furrowed in confusion, but as he kept his pace and finally reached the outside of your door, he discovered the music was comingfrom you. he felt weird, intruding into your personal space like this, but in his defense, stark had sent him. just before he could reach up and properly knock, he noticed the door was slightly ajar. not sufficient enough for you to see him but enough for him to see you. he watched your body, a little too intently for his liking, flow to the rythmn of the upbeat song. your hands reaching up to run them through your hair while your hips swayed from side to side. your right foot would step out and then you’d bring your left one in, and then did the opposite. 
all in all, it was an innocent dance, you were releasing tension that you were holding in for a while, and you were happy. loki saw that, in your face to be more exact. his eyes first reached your own, which were closed and nowhere near recognizing his broad figure in your doorway. he scanned your nose, how your nostrils would flare harder than usual whenever you released a longer breath. he compared it to when he first saw you sleeping in the common room, and he couldn’t decide which event he liked better. he finally reached your lips, and he had to physically fight his newfound urges and stop himself from busting in and connecting them to his own. they were delicate, soft, and slightly chapped. it was evident that you picked at the skin on your bottom one because he noticed a small red patch on one side of your bottom lip. he couldn’t look away, and he felt awful, thinking of you in such intimate ways while you were unbeknownst of his presence. but what made him almost completely lose his mind was the moment in which you tucked that very same lip, the red, almost raw, portion of it between your teeth. he let his eyes run over the action, and felt an all too familiar emotion grow in the pit of his stomach, one that he never imagined you’d be the one to elicit.
he’d had enough. he’d seen enough. without thinking twice on it, loki barged into your bedroom, steel door hitting the wall with a strong bang, and spoke with authority. 
“stark needs you for a mission. he wants you onboard in ten.” you spun around to face him, a sharp gasp escaping your throat and shocked expression washing over your features. he had to mask his worry and regret of scaring you like this with indifference. he needed to do it like this. he couldn’t risk you turning too far and opening your oh so beautiful eyes only to find him creepily concentrating on you. 
“loki, what the hell,” you breathed. “you fucking scared me!” 
he tried to not let the way you had voiced that get to him. you were startled, frightened, and that mixed with the energy you were dancing with was sure to leave you gasping. but loki had seen you, twice now, in some of your purest forms. so the way you softly huffed his name, even for different reasons, made his mind run wild and his heart jump hurdles. he managed to keep his face stilled, though, and rolled his eyes and told you not to be such a wuss and to shut your music off. you walked over and turned the knob of your stereo down, complying. it took almost every cell in his body to keep from muttering out incoherent apologies, pulling you in close and stroking your ruffled hair. but he didn’t do that. 
“yeah yeah. whatever. can you tell tony that i can’t go? i’m taking some days off and i-”
“he made it clear to me that you’re presence is crucial to the outcome of this mission,” he interrupted, his voice low. you rolled your eyes and started to frantically assemble your go bag, thanking loki for the message. he wanted to stay and watch you do this too, but all he did was let out a hum of acceptance and walk out your door. as he walked through the corridors and seemingly endless turns to leave your dormitory, he replayed everything he saw, and a small smile curved its way onto his own lips. and for the entirety of the next week that you were gone, he kept doing it. 
you, with much reluctance, had hopped on the plane with steve, bucky, tony, and natasha. it was a hard mission, but you had been trained by one of the fiercest assassins that the world ever saw. so, alongside natasha, you fought almost effortlessly. but regardless of how effective you and your team performed, the enemy was also calculated. he managed to trick you into believing he was alone, that he was finishing this fight by himself. but when bucky was holding the sinister man down, he got hit with a strong blow to his shoulder. the metal of the bullet would have clashed against the metal of his own arm, but this bullet, according to the dying words of the man, was made especially for bucky. he was wounded, and tony flew to get him off the field as quickly as he could. natasha took hold of the man and held him down one last time, and as more of his soldiers appeared all around you, you and steve attacked them. you gave your everything, landing nasty blows in every direction. steve threw his shield to pin an adversary to the side of a car as he pinned you down on the ground, and you reached over to take it out of the man and shifted so you were able to see behind you. as soon as you did, you connected the blue and red colored metal to the face of another enemy. the last one. the team, from wherever they were standing, relaxed a little and looked around at all the casualties. tony and natasha had managed to take care of the leader, and steve looked over at you from his protective stance and grinned proudly. but his smile abruptly disappeared when he saw you fall back down. he noticed a small pool of blood collecting around your torso and rushed to your aid. 
“tony, (y/n)’s wounded too! get the jet and get her inside. i’ll get bucky,” steve said hurriedly. tony landed shortly after and told friday to bring the jet down to your coordinates. steve looked down at you and let his hand caress the top of your head lightly before speaking again. “hang in there, kid, we’ll take care of you.” 
you tried to make out his figure leave, and eventually run, to where bucky was lying to bring him aboard. you couldn’t really see him, though, because your vision was beginning to blur and your ears had started to ring. you attempted to keep your eyes open to see tony press a tech device to your wound and you winced, eyes squeezing shut tightly. all at once, you stopped hearing tony’s scrambled words, muscles around your face and body going completely numb. then, you succumbed into full darkness and so did everyone and everything around you.
the next time you opened your eyes, it was to a dimly lit operating room. your visual acuity quickly adjusted as your eyes kept bouncing around the different light bulbs, and then you turned your head to the right. you saw bucky peacefully sleeping, a patch adorning the top of his shoulder and an iv scaling up to the actual bag containing the medicine. you then raised your head a little to see that your clothes had been changed to some medical shorts and an oversized t-shirt. you knew then that it had been wanda who had helped, seeing as the band displayed on the shirt was her favorite. next, you turned to the left, and this time, you saw the back of a male figure. after careful study and concentration, you realized it was bruce. 
“bruce?” you voice came out in a hoarse and cracked whisper. but it was loud enough for bruce to turn around and gleam at you. 
“(y/n)! i see you’re awake, can i get you anything?” he took off his glasses and set them down next to some documents and walked over to you. you nodded weakly and shakily asked for some water, making an effort to get up from the bed but stopped after you felt a sharp pain take over the left side of your abdomen. you winced and let out a painful groan, and bruce instantly took a hold of your arm as his other hand reached around your back to steady you.
“careful, you’re hurt.”
“what happened, exactly?” you wondered, voice starting to come back to normal. by now, you were properly seated along the edge of the bed with your feet unsteadily planted on the ground. once bruce saw that you were stable enough to not fall, he allowed himself to pour water from a pitcher into a glass that had both been on your side table. you took the glass into your shaky hands and brought the rim up to your lips, relishing the hydration it brought to your dry mouth. you swigged it rather quickly, and bruce took it back and set it down before answering your question. 
“well, you were on a mission, from what steve tells me. they brought you and bucky to me as soon as they could. you were stabbed, kiddo. i patched you up and took out your iv about an hour ago.”
your lips parted and let your jaw open a little in a surprised motion. you had a knife, at one point in your fight, plunged into you? you didn’t even feel anything. your head started to throb now that you were fully awake, and you could feel the pain more clearly. 
“you’re strong, you know,” his voice brought you back to him. it was reassuring, gentle, just like you knew bruce was. “all of you guys are.” 
you smiled at him and reached out to touch his hand, and squeezing it lightly. he pulled you into a hug, and you accepted it kindly, acknowledging the help and most importantly the presence of one of your best friends. when you pulled back, he saw you grimace as another shot of pain spread across your abdomen. he asked you if you desired to go to your room, and after you said yes, he was quick in his efforts to completely stand you up and off the bed. his hand was holding one of yours, and the other was on your back like before, but just as you were beginning to walk, another voice spoke. 
“i can take you. if you allow me.” 
your eyes diverted in the direction of the voice it came from, and you landed on a pair of sharp blue orbs. stopping dead in your tracks, you found your mouth becoming dry again. his eyes pierced into your own, and you couldn’t find any word combination that would possibly make sense. you looked at bruce, as did he, and you found yourself nodding. you turned back to see loki all stood up and heading over to where you were standing. since bruce was holding you from the right, loki let his hand slip around your waist on the other side, a few goosebumps forming around your body at the contact. the other hand, reached to take yours in his and held it strongly. you started walking again, at first slowly, but once you got the hang of your own legs again, it became much easier for the both of you.
the walk to your room was silent, but not awkward. he grip on your waist was sturdy, but gentle and whenever you let out huffs of pain, he would stop and allow you to rest for a while. eventually, you reached your door, and he let go of your hand to open it. 
“may i?” loki inquired. you simply nodded again, and he led you in. when you saw the arrangement of pillows and blankets that awaited your arrival, it took you aback. you looked at him before asking, “did you do this?”
he stared at you for a few seconds, enough time for you to feel butterflies crawling around, and nodded.
during your entire stay at the tower, you couldn’t really deny the way you saw loki. it wasn’t anything deep, just a simple, growing attraction towards him. when you first arrived, loki was being detained after literally destroying the entire city, so his attitude towards you was hostile. but you found him handsome, despite his rude behavior, and his snappy comments and witty banter made the emotion within you much stronger. over time, you tried your best to be nice to him, to really get to know him unlike the majority of your team. no matter how many times loki shut you out of his life, you didn’t take it personal and continued to be your happy and cheery self when you saw him. 
over time, loki stopped fighting to keep you out, and he switched from being rude to acting annoyed. you viewed this as a win and didn’t delve too much into far more personal problems to keep him from shutting you out again. despite you promptly sticking to this ideology, you couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t speak to you as often as he did these past few weeks. it was strange, but then again, it’s loki, you thought.
god, but now, he does this? watches you for who knows how long while you’re in the middle of a drug-induced trance? offers to take you to your room, which apparently he’s arranged to fit your commodity, and holds you so perfectly? it’s all too much for you, the way he makes you feel, but even though you try to push the thought away, it bombards once more. 
one of your legs gives out, and you almost, almost fall to the ground. his free hand reached over to grab the other side of your hip to hold you, tightly squeezing the soft muscle that was there. he stilled, watching you intently to see if you were alright and looking for any signs of severe pain. you felt his gaze on you, but you didn’t look up, fully knowing that if you did, you’d give out again. instead, you looked down at your oversized clothes and focused on the design.
“let me get you to bed, so you can rest. can i do that?” his tone was caring, nursing even. his voice was silky, intoxicating your senses more than you liked. you wanted him to talk forever and listen to him rant about endless topics that were running through his mind. but right now your well being prevented you from doing that so you simply muttered, “please.”
he moved so he was behind you, his hands moving along the fabric of your clothes so they didn’t separate from your waist. he pushed you gently and guided you to your side of the bed, eventually letting his hands slide off gradually from your sides as you sat. you missed his touch as soon as it left. and he missed touching you.
as you scooted up so your head could lay on the soft, cushioned pillow, loki removed some other ones that he deemed unnecessary to your comfort. then, he grabbed the folded blanket he placed at the foot of the bed and unfolded it over you. immediately you nuzzled into it and took in the scent that it gave off, and you could’ve sworn that you recognized it. loki noticed it, and he let his mind wander to the night he took care of you sleeping, how you’d done the same exact thing to the smell of his cardigan. it sent him into a frenzy, stomach erupting into fluttering butterflies, hands turning clammy, and pinkish heat coloring his cheeks. how was it possible, he thought, that you made him feel like this. he didn’t notice how long he had observed you for, his eyes raking up your body and wishing nothing more than to embrace it once and for all. to feel the warmth of your hugs, and to ease your pain, even if it would be for a brief moment. his eyes continued traveling up towards you face, and when he finally reached your eyes, he found yours already looking at him. 
“you can take a seat over there if you’d like?” you questioned him. you nudged with your head at a sofa that was behind him, and he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back to look at it. he turned back around and asked, “you want me to stay?”
“yeah, i kinda do. you don’t have to obviously,” you stopped mid sentence as a new wave of pain rushed through, grimacing. as it passed, you continued, “but it’d be nice.”
of course he was going to stay. he knew he didn’t have to, but he wanted to. he wanted to take care of you, nurse you in every possible way he could so you could dance animatedly again. so you could fall asleep in the common room, reading your favorite novel and cuddle his sweater. and he wanted you. so without much hesitation this time, he offered you a warm, kind smile and made his way to the sofa and settled in. you, on the other hand, adjusted so your legs were folded but your back was still on the bed to avoid hurting yourself. it was an uncomfortable position, but you weren’t one to complain. you stayed there looking at the ceiling and counted the little glow in the dark stars that tony had glued for you. all the while you could feel a strong gaze look at you, but you were too afraid to say something or even look over. about ten minutes passed with utter silence, the sounds of breaths being exhaled exempt. 
“you could’ve died.” 
“we all could’ve.”
“yes, but you could’ve died.” he regretted enhancing the word as soon as he spoke it. had he said too much? gone too far? he saw you shift your focus from the stars to his face, confusion written all over it. he didn’t look away, though, as embarrassing as it was for him.
“i thought you didn’t like me,” you remarked. loki scoffed and rolled his eyes before returning them toward you. “this has nothing to do with liking you, human.”
you chuckled at this, the rumbling of your chest sending another low shot of pain. “then what does it have to do with?”
he turned away and focused on your tiny bookshelf in the corner of your dorm instead. “taking care of you,” he answered faintly. at this, you’re features relaxed. the smallest smile began to tug at your lips, eyes beginning to sparkle with some sort of affection towards the god.
“ah, so you like me.” 
loki laughed lightly at your reply, but mostly to hide the nervousness his voice might convey if he spoke. he found it stunning; how you effortlessly made him feel worthy of kinship. another, shorter, ripple of silence took over, but you were the one to break it this time. 
“can you take care of me?” the words hit him like a punch in the stomach, and almost instantly his mind started running wild once more. every phrase that appeared to be coherent was not anymore. he looked at you, thinking about how innocently you had voiced your words, how genuine you felt them. 
“loki?”
“hm?” he pretended not to have heard you, pretended to be lost in some other thought that wasn’t you. 
“can you stay here tonight?” 
never in his life did loki imagine he’d be watching over an injured midgardian. he also never imagined for them to be you. “of course, i don’t mind,” he swiftly responded. he mentally scolded himself for answering so fast and at how needy he probably sounded. nevertheless, any thought of embarrassment disappeared from his mind when you wholeheartedly smiled at him. you thanked him, and let your eyes close naturally. your head had relaxed completely against the pillow and your arms were entangled in the fuzzy blanket. you spoke, for one last time that night, and groggily whimpered, “g’night, loki.”
for the third time, loki was studying yet another one of your most vulnerable forms. it left him at ease knowing that nothing could ever harm you as long as he was there. and he was starting to realize in much greater depth, that there was nothing in this broken world that he wouldn’t do for you. to make you happy; to keep you safe. when he finally replied, it was mainly for him to hear it only.
“g’night, (y/n).”
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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years
Note
Spending Christmas Eve with Arthur & surprise kiss under mistletoe (headcanon) ☺️🎄
Implied smut at end.
I feel like this is really bad? IDK.
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You had been planning your Christmas with Arthur for months.
Nothing and no one were going to stop you from spending the entire holiday with Arthur.
Not even you.
“Y/N, you don’t have to do this for me.” 
Though he was speaking as quietly and as patiently as he usually does, you could tell by the hopeful glint in his eyes and the anxious way that he was toying with the cuffs of his beloved yellow hoodie that Arthur really did want to do all of these things with you.
“Yeah, I do, Arthur.” At his uncertain dart upwards with his eyes do you say, “I want to.”
Whatever your usual Christmas plans are, Arthur wants in on them all, no matter how silly or childish they seem.
When you tell him that you’re deciding to spend the holiday with him, though???
Poor boi loses his mind.
He laughs in disbelief, so hard that he ends up crying.
 He shakes his head, apologising as best as he can, but you just tug him into your arms and you hold him, your fingers stroking easily through his dark locks as you calm him.
His laughing fit only makes you even more sure of your decision. 
You want him to experience every possible tradition, food, activity, game, etc. about Christmas.
Whether you’re religious or not, he wants to do everything with you. All of it. 
Whether you think he’d enjoy it or not is a moot point, because he’s with you and so therefore he would enjoy it.
Arthur loves the music of the season!!!!
You woke up once in the night, not sure of what had woken you, but as you came to you realised that Arthur’s fingers were trailing up and down your arm, his fingers tapping out the beat to the last song which had played on the radio before bed.
You smiled, pulled him closer, and Arthur crooned some lyrics in your ear; his soft voice being just what you needed to lull you back into Morpheus’ embrace, though even a deity can’t protect you as well as Arthur can.
“Arthur, honey, what would you like for Christmas? Not what I want, not what we need for the apartment, what do you want?”
An edge of frustration crept into your voice. 
You had asked him this so many times and you heard his answer in your head before he even said it:
“I already have everything I want.” His intense stare and the happiness on his face says the next word for him, which settles like a blanket of snow between your bodies:
You.
Soon enough, it’s Christmas Eve and you’re really getting into the swing of things now.
You leave out some gingerbread biscuits and mince pies for Father Christmas and his reindeer (you both know nothing’s going to touch them but you want Arthur to get the full experience; he would have missed out on it all when he was a child).
You both go to bed, giddy as children, and your jaw aching with how wide you were smiling as you pulled him into your arms, sleep finding you both quite quickly.
The first thing you decide that you need to show Arthur in the morning, on the big day, was your personal favourite thing about Christmas:
Giving presents!
You hadn’t labelled any of the presents you had gotten him, you had only wrapped them. 
You had already given other people their presents, anyway.
With Arthur out in the living room tidying up the cups and plates and emptying out his ashtrays, it seemed convenient to reach under the bed and pull out all the presents you had gotten for him.
You had wrapped all of them as best as you could, putting so much effort into it that you had even impressed yourself, and now did you take them to the living room, your knees almost bowing under all the weight.
Arthur lingered in the doorway of the kitchen, his green eyes inquisitive.
“Y-Y/N, wh-what are you doing? Shouldn’t you have given those out before today?”
With a truly happy smile on your face did you look over at the absolute love of your life.
“I have.”
You saw that he still didn’t understand and, knowing that he would respond to your next words with painful laughter, did you say, “Arthur, honey, these are yours.”
Three, two, aaaaand - 
Painful laughter ripped forth from Arthur’s throat and you nodded solemnly, crossing the room to comfort him.
You held him tightly through the attack, stroking his dark hair and kissing his temple and you stayed.
When he was calm did you lead him to the gifts you had gotten him. 
You felt bad that you hadn’t gotten him more, but you had already spent too much money this month so it was the best you could do.
Arthur only ever deserved your best.
You got him: a new journal, a proper winter coat, the biggest multipack of cigarettes you could find (even if you disliked the vice, you wouldn’t deny him anything and so with a wrinkled nose had you bought them), more makeup for work (he had literally been scraping the bottom of the barrel this morning, a concerned frown on his face as he looked at the calendar - another two weeks until payday; he couldn’t go that long without Carnival), another clown wig, and - a bright red two piece suit.
To you, it wasn’t anything special and you felt guilty that you couldn’t give him more.
Arthur unwrapped every present slowly, his flat palms tracing over every gift which was cushioned in his bony lap as he undid the tape with spidery fingers. He folded the discarded paper and you knew it’d become pressed in the pages of his new journal as irrefutable proof of this night.
With reverence did Arthur look over everything you got him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, his cheeks damp with overflowing love as he looked up at you like you were an angel.
His angel.
He told you as much before he kissed you deeply in thanks; his lips so fierce against your own that it made your toes curl in your socks.
Then, he crossed over to the tiny desk in the corner of the room and grabbed his battered brown journal and joke book, flicking to a certain page easily and holding it out to you.
“I couldn’t afford to get you a gift,” He mumbled, embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning the same delicate shade of pink as the one on his cheeks, “But I… here, Y/N.”
You took the journal, seeing Arthur struggling so completely for words made you deeply curious, and your eyes roamed over the page, a blush coming to your own face before you focused on the very first word and read it slowly, savouring the pages upon pages of scribbles, doodles and words; some crossed out, more misspelled and some written with care.
It was all about you - your favourite things were drawn around the corners of the pages, smiley faces and crooked love hearts dotted the pages and acted as punctuation, things you had said to him or done together, things he wanted to do with and to you…. pages upon pages… you counted eighteen before a sealed envelope fell out of the journal.
Quickly did Arthur scoop it up. “T-That’s the journal finished… I - I wanted to write you something, to give you something to open.”
Arthur moved all of his gifts over to the armchair which Penny used to sit in so that you could sit on the sofa, holding the envelope in your hands.
You were getting teary eyed just seeing your name written in Arthur’s writing, and with a slight shake to your hand did you break the seal, Arthur sitting beside you and taking your other hand.
With his other hand did he pull his trick out of his trousers pocket - a piece of mistletoe.
He had refrained from buying a pack of cigarettes in order to buy it fresh and he had kept it in his pocket all day, waiting for the perfect moment.
He watched you read his letter once, twice, three and then four times; your emotions playing out on your face like a film.
He watched as you teared up, smiled, gasped softly or squeezed his hand as you read the letter a fifth time.
“Arthur, I - you - I love you so fucking much”
“I know,” A quiet murmur of truth, “I love you too. You’re my everything.” 
Distracted sufficiently by his letter did Arthur reach his arm up to hold the mistletoe over your heads.
You followed his arm up, up, and smiled.
“You know what my favourite part of Christmas is?”
“What?” You smiled even wider, knowing where this was going.
“Following traditions.”
In a rare bout of confidence which channelled his future self did Arthur claim your lips with his and the rest of the day was spent in a blissful haze of love, lust and everything in between.
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193 notes · View notes
lov3nerdstuff · 5 years
Text
Dark Stars {Part 10}
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*Loki x OFC*
Part: 10/10
Words: 5.4k
Warnings: poisoning, bad parenting
Summary: ~Loki could just let her die here and now. His problems would be solved and he could go back to his usual ways. But then he would forever be left with an unsolved mystery and he hated the prospect of that even more than the fear of what would happen if she lived.~
A story of what happens when Loki stumbles upon someone who is like him in every way. Only better. Oh, and they just happen save Asgard too.
A.N.: To celebrate over 1000 people following me (how insane is that?!), I decided to share the newly edited version of the very first Loki fanfiction I ever wrote! Enjoy the mischief 💚
All Parts can be found on my Masterlist!
______________________________
Later, when they had gotten dressed and were getting comfortable on the blankets once more, the sun was already about to rise. Soon they both drifted off into a pleasant sleep, all wrapped up in each other's embrace and a comfortable darkness they had brought over their little corner in joined magical effort.
Only when the sun was starting to disappear did Loki's eyes flutter open at last.
"Oh darn it…" He grumbled and sat up against the stone wall. "We gotta meet Thor in the gardens, c'mon. We might be late already, the fool has no sense for timing. Sunset is a period of time, not a specific time."
Ivy also sat up and smiled at him with the goofiest expression. "I'm honestly surprised, I must say..."
Loki frowned at her while he stretching out the sore muscles of his arms. Really, sleeping on the ground was awful.
"You know, I have never really seen you sleep before. I'm just surprised you sleep at all!" Ivy laughed upon his irritated and questioning expression, and rose to her feet with a sigh.
"I only allow myself to sleep around people I'm comfortable with." He followed her example and strode towards the hidden exit of their hideout. "Which happens to be me, solemnly. Well, and recently also you."
Ivy grinned and took Loki's hand once she came to stand next to him. "I feel honored, really. But we're late indeed."
She brought them to the meeting point in an instant, and their sudden appearance scared the already present Thor, making Loki smirk. "After all these years, I would assume you've gotten used to the magic." He mused.
"It only takes me by surprise that you've actually found a friend." Thor replied surprisingly quickly, looking at Ivy and Loki's intertwined hands. "But as I see, she might be more than a friend."
"That's absolutely none of your business." Loki responded calmly, though not letting go of Ivy's hand. He'd rather chop his arm off than let go of her ever again.
"What news do you have that you couldn't have told us yesterday?" Ivy asked with a sigh.
Thor started smiling. "I talked to our father…"
"Your father…" Loki pointed out as he rolled his eyes, earning not even an acknowledging look from Thor as he continued.
"I spoke to him and he is willing to accept Loki back at the palace." Thor said happily, clasping his hands behind his back. He looked like a prideful child with too many muscles, and a self-sufficient smirk.
"And what about Ivy?" Loki asked in a serious tone, taking on none of his brother's positivity. "Like I said before, if there's any chance that Ivy will be harmed upon our return, I will never set foot into the palace again."
"Well… She has hurt so many people and killed quite a few more…" Thor looked down to his feet. "You know how father is. He doesn't want a criminal in the palace."
Loki let out a sinister laugh. "Well, then he certainly doesn't want me around either."
"No, he doesn't, to be honest. But he said that maybe if he talked some sense to you and you apologized…"
"You will not apologize to that man!" Ivy said sternly, looking to Loki in dead seriousness. "He has done nothing to deserve your apologies, nor your forgiveness. He hurt you and he locked you away without reason!"
Loki couldn't help the small, proud smirk that spread on his lips as he looked back at Thor. "See? Even Ivy thinks he's wrong."
Thor merely rolled his eyes. "Just do it, get over your pride, and then you can come back. I know he's done you injustice… But can't you just forget about that for once?"
"Let me think…." He lifted his hand to his chin, overly exaggerating the sarcastic gesture. "No, I don't think I can ever forget how he treated me. Not after all this time. And I won't abandon Ivy, not if he gave me the kingdom for it."
"Anyway, he won't allow both of you in the palace. He's grateful for what you did, Ivy, but he is worried about the message it might send to the people if he reprieved you, and allowed you into the palace." Thor sighed softly. "He will have every single guard looking for you if you decide to stay here in the wilderness, if you don't surrender and come back to the prisons. And if you refuse to return, Loki, he will have both of your heads."
In that moment, a guard came hurrying towards their small group. Both Loki and Ivy already set up for a fight, but Thor stepped in front of them hastily.
"What is it?" He asked in royal annoyance. "I ordered you to stay clear of the gardens!"
"I'm sorry, my prince, it's the allfather. He… He has fallen sick. It's the poison."
"What?" Thor's eyes went wide as all color left his face with a start.
"Didn't you order for the poisoned food to be searched and destroyed?" Ivy asked Thor incredulously. Of course, if she wanted something done she would have had to do it herself.
"We need your assistance..." The guard looked at Ivy, then at Loki and down at the ground at last.
"Alright, I'm on my way." Thor replied with a sigh and started towards the palace.
"I… I meant the girl." The guard's voice was very quiet, reluctant. "Her presence and knowledge are required."
Loki rose an eyebrow in doubt. "Who requested her presence? And why? So they can lock her up again?"
"The healers ordered for her to be brought to them... They also requested for your assistance, my prince."
Without much more talk, they all made their way back to the palace. Thor was beyond anxious and couldn't get there soon enough, but he also didn't want to push Loki to shorten their way by using magic.
Ivy however was deeply suspicious of the ongoings. One moment ago she had been told not to come near the palace ever again, and the now her presence was requested. Required, even.
Loki was equally doubtful about the situation, but he also was most certain that together they would be of crucial assistance to the magically untalented healers, and thus their request made somewhat sense.
They entered the palace and while the guard led them straight to Odin's chambers, Ivy took her time to look around once more. The palace was not a place she would want to live in, it was far too bold, too grand, too golden.
"I know, I know… it's not very homely." Loki responded quietly, but with an amused tone.
"Stop reading my mind." Ivy chuckled under her breath.
"I'm not reading your mind, you're literally forcing your thoughts onto me, darling…" He took a hold of her hand without hesitation. That was over now, they had long moved past the point of reluctance.
"Would you please stop flirting, our father is dying!" Thor's voice was tense and filled with subtle anger.
Loki gave Ivy's hand a gentle squeeze and they remained silent for the rest of the walk.
They soon reached the door and Thor rushed in without looking back, with Loki and Ivy following while the guard stayed outside.
"Thor, I'm so glad you are here!" A woman Ivy didn't know exclaimed. She looked like one of the healers though, going by her garments.
Ivy ignored them and went straight towards the bed Odin lay on. A different healer made an attempt to stop her, but Loki made them freeze in place with a single glare. Then he went to assist Ivy in her inspection.
"Any ideas?" She questioned once she felt Loki standing next to her.
"You have the book…" He said quietly. "You might wanna use it."
Ivy rolled her eyes, but more at herself than at him, and grabbed the book from her bag. Then she looked around, watching the healers and also Thor standing rather far away from them, giving them enough space to do their work.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ivy asked as she turned back to Loki, her head almost touching his shoulder. "He has done so much harm to you, and to many others… and now you ought to save him?"
Loki sighed quietly and looked down at the dying man in front of him. "I don't want to. But I will do it for Thor. He helped you to help me and now I'm helping him to help our father."
"You said 'our' father." Ivy smiled at him gently. "And that's quite an awful lot of helping someone to help someone else."
"Oh shush." He smiled back and took a closer look at Odin. "His heartbeat is too slow, and his skin is drenched in sweat."
Ivy began flipping through the book, calmer this time than before. If Loki wanted to do this, she would not hesitate either.
"Found anything?" Loki asked and placed a hand on Odin's forehead. "No fever…. He felt dizzy and sick before he passed out, it's still in his short term memory. His skin felt aflame."
"I think I found something! It's called a snow-rose." Ivy skimmed over the page, then with more certainty flipped the book shut and put it back in her bag. "It doesn't give information about any remedies."
"Great… That leaves magic." Loki sighed. "It's way easier with a physical remedy."
"But it worked on me when you did it…" Ivy said quietly, not too keen to let everyone listen in on their conversation. "We can do it together, right? Getting it out of him?"
"It's not that easy. You can't just take away the poison, it doesn't work like that."
"Then how did you do it?" Her voice was not more than a whisper now, although the other people in the room were almost forgotten at this point.
"It works by transferring enough of the poison from the sick person's body into your own system, so that both bodies can neutralize the minor poisoning themselves and thus heal themselves, with time." He didn't like the thought of Ivy going through the process and thus he was hesitant to answer her in the first place. But honestly, he couldn't refuse her a single thing.
"Look, I know he's not your favourite person in this world, but we should try the magic. I don't want another death on my conscience." Ivy placed a hand on Loki's shoulder, making him look into her wide eyes that reflected the candles' licking flames.
"He's not my favourite person in any world. But you are, Ivy, and I don't want you to suffer because of him."
"You suffered because of him for millennia, I think I can manage five minutes." Ivy smiled at him as reassuringly as she could.
"Can you hurry up a little?" Thor grumbled from the far back, his voice as irritated as it was nervous.
Ivy ignored him and placed her hands on Loki's cheeks, pulling his forehead down against hers. "I know he doesn't deserve it, but like you said… We are helping Thor. And the kingdom. Alright?"
"Maybe you're right… Let's do it." He whispered back and after a short moment of only enjoying each other's touch, they finally both placed their hands on Odin's body.
"What do you need me to do?" Ivy asked, watching Loki through her lashes.
"You'll feel it. Just go along with that." With that they started the process, and a short moment later Ivy knew what he had meant by his words. From that point on, she could easily adapt.
"What are you doing with him?" Thor asked and dared to take a few steps closer to get a better view of the ongoings.
"Shut up brother, or I will make you." Loki hissed through clenched teeth and it was enough for Thor to rise his hands in defeat.
"This is not working…" Ivy breathed, feeling the energy in Odin's body fading.
"But it should work, it has always worked…" Loki replied in irritation. "I have done this before, many times…"
"We don't have enough time to dwell on the past. He's almost gone now." Ivy said, trying to push the pain away from her voice.
"Ivy stop… We can't do anything to help him." Loki dropped his hands and looked to the frowning woman next to him.
"Don't you dare giving up now! Get your hands back over here and help me! We're gonna do this my way now, if yours isn't working." Ivy commanded and Loki obeyed without further comments. Questions could be answered later.
A second after he had placed his palms back against Odin's chest, he felt something painful and dark wash over him, consuming his mind and pulling at every bit of strength he had in his body.
"Is this what your magic always feels like?!" He breathed, overwhelmed by the intensity of the feelings hitting him full force. "Ivy…"
But she didn't answer, she didn't even move… her eyes were shut in what looked like focus mingled with agony.
Loki did feel the pain too, but he was more than sure that it was nothing compared to what Ivy must feel… knowing her, she probably kept most of the pain to herself and only channeled Loki's energy. He could only wonder why she was willing to take on so much, to go such lengths for a person who had only ever been cruel to her.
In that moment he realized for the first time as for the millionth time indeed that no matter what he would do, no matter where he would go or what would become of him, there was no way he was going to live a life without Ivy by his side. He didn't deserve her nor her love, but he was a selfish man and he would make her his forever despite everything that may come at them for this decision.
It took a lot longer than Loki would have assumed, and than he was used to, but finally Odin's eyes fluttered open and his heartbeat stabilized, then normalized. Loki let out a sigh and immediately dropped his hands, taking a few tumbling steps backwards. Thor jumped into action upon that, and quickly took his place at Odin's side. Also the healers hurried to his assistance, pushing Ivy away from the allfather and thereby making her fall back against the wall behind her.
Loki's brows furrowed as he pulled himself together and walked over to Ivy, supporting her by wrapping an arm around her waist. Honestly, he could've used the same support, but he'd gladly give her the last of his energy to make her better. Maybe he wasn't that selfish after all… only about certain things.
"They didn't have to push me away like that…" Ivy said, more out of breath than she would've liked. "I helped saving their freaking king and they shove me around like a fucking piece of furniture."
Loki didn't say anything to answer her, for he might just have cursed and ended the people she spoke of in one heartbeat had he but opened his mouth. Those people, they deserved Ivy even less than he did. He at least was going to make sure she was treated the way she ought to.
As they made their way to the door, he felt beyond exhausted, physically and mentally, and he could tell Ivy was as well.
"Thor…" He said tiredly, making his brother turn away from their father for a brief second.
"Loki, not now. Father needs me!" He said with his brows furrowed. "Go to your chambers and wait there for someone to fetch you."
Ivy rolled her eyes while Loki dragged her out of the room at last, before she could stab Thor like she did in her thoughts.
"Why do you suddenly accept the way they talk to you?!" Ivy huffed once they were outside. She felt her body go limp from time to time, but Loki was there to catch her, and she was there for him in return. They probably looked like they were two drunks returning from an early party.
"Because you look like you might pass out any moment and I would rather not have that happen in the hallway or while you stab my brother." He sighed, and after a moment of silence spoke on. "Your magic is truly special indeed, you know… I'm proud to have been a part of it."
Ivy sighed too. "I'm not proud at all, this was a mere relapse into darkness. I try not to use this kind of magic and to learn your kind instead. You know how dangerous and destructive mine is..."
"You just used it to save someone's life! You did great, love. I think you shouldn't abandon your magic. It's a gift." He smiled at her, full of admiration, and then gently kissed the top of her head. "But first let's get some rest…" With that he brought them into his room, using the little energy he had left.
Ivy dropped down on the huge bed instantly and simply pulled Loki with her, making him chuckle. With a small sigh she pulled herself as close to him as possible and he did the same, both soon falling into a deep slumber without any more thoughts about Thor, Odin or the poison.
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"Loki!" Thor's voice thundered through the heavy wooden door, and a second later it swung open as Thor stormed in with an expression prepared to shout. Yet, his tense features softened immediately once he saw Ivy and his brother curled up between the books on the bed, a coiled mess of ivory, green and black. He hadn't seen Loki sleeping in forever, and it made him happy to see that finally his brother could rest peacefully, as it seemed. Thor decided to let them sleep, for they deserved it after all, and went to leave the room in silence and without a spark of anger left in his being.
______________
A few hours later he was forced to come back though, only to find them in the same position as before. However this time, he sadly would have to wake them.
"Uhm… ehh… Guys?" He said awkwardly, before repeated himself a little bit louder to get through to them.
Loki let out a long sigh, lifting his head, and looking over Ivy's sleeping body to Thor. "Of course you came back... Who does Odin wish to see?"
"Both of you…" Thor shrugged, not even surprised that Loki knew of his first visit. "But I don't think he will put either of you in prison again."
Loki rolled his eyes and sat up carefully, still waking up Ivy in the process. "We saved his life and he is kind enough to not arrest us. Wow."
"Oh come on, at least hear what he has to say. He's waiting." Thor's voice seemed almost apologetic now.
"He's old enough to show some patience." Ivy yawned and rolled out of bed at last, smoothing out the wrinkles in her 'borrowed' green shirt. Not that she'd ever return it…
"Well, I will leave you two to get ready. He's waiting for you in the throne room." Thor said again, and turned to leave. "But don't let him wait for too long, or he might just change his mind about the prisons…"
Then he closed the door behind himself, leaving Loki and Ivy alone at last.
Ivy stretched and combed through her tangled locks with her fingers, until Loki took both of her hands in his, pulling her against his chest.
With a smile, she stood on her tiptoes and met his lips in a gentle kiss. After a way too short time, Loki pulled back and smiled at Ivy. "Sorry, darling, but I will never let you go, now that you keep kissing me like that…"
In an instant Ivy's lips were on his once more, this time with more force, more passion. Loki only smiled against her lips before returning the kiss happily.
This time however it was Ivy who pulled away and smirked up at Loki. "I would be very disappointed if you ever did."
Without any more words they headed out the door and towards the throne room, getting a few weird glances from bypassing people in the hallways.
As soon as they entered the great room, Ivy felt tense. Everything was huge and golden and there were too many guards to fight off, should the need arise. She nonetheless took a defensive position without even thinking about it.
Loki placed an arm around her waist once they stood in front of the throne, making her relax merely a little bit. "I see you're not dead." He spoke coldly, looking at Odin with an emotionless face of indifference. "What is it that you want from us now?"
"For once, I wish to thank you, my son." His voice echoed through the room even though he wasn't talking particularly loudly. "You have done your king a great service. And you have made your father proud." He made a short dramatic pause. "I came to realize I have been too harsh on you. You are not at fault for some else's crimes. Thus I would like to offer you to return to your place in the palace, at my side."
Loki rose an eyebrow. "How very kind of you." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "But to be honest, we didn't save you for your own sake. Not for my father nor for our king."
Now it was Odin's turn to frown, but before he could speak up Loki continued already.
"I did it for Thor. And Ivy did it because of her unfathomable kindness. And believe me, I couldn't have done it without Ivy." His voice was still calm for he had no reason to be nervous anymore. He had made his mind up about quite a few things recently. "So, my king, it turns out that you should be thanking her instead of me."
Odin's face fell, the disappointment and annoyance obvious in his features. "Oh, Loki… This is not the time nor the place for one of your tantrums. I…"
"No, father, he is right." Thor interrupted him, which honestly made Loki like his brother just a little bit more for at last not being the obedient puppy he usually proved to be. "Ivy saved you and risked her own life by doing so!"
Ivy almost snorted at the exaggeration. She leaned close to Loki's ear, whispering. "I rather risked everyone else's life by using my kind of magic… But I doubt either of them would understand that."
Loki smirked, but didn't take his eyes off Odin as he replied to Ivy in a whisper. "Let's not tell him that."
Odin ignored Ivy and spoke to Thor only. "But that does not mean she has redeemed herself from her crimes."
Ivy sighed, annoying by everyone but Loki ignoring her presence. "Look, I'm not necessarily proud of what I did either, but it wouldn't have been necessary in the first place if your guards hadn't been so deadset and disgusting about preying on me." Her voice was so beyond the whole topic, so matter-of-fact that it made Loki snort and Thor's jaw drop.
"I have no idea what the child is speaking of, but I am certain that she is as dishonest as vile. Criminals cannot be trusted, I hope you know that, my son." He looked at Thor, but glanced over at Loki as well. "I expect her to leave Asgard at once, or she will have to face trial."
"But father!" Thor replied, looking at Loki for assistance. "She saved your life!"
Loki's jaw clenched in pure hatred and anger, and his grip on Ivy's waist got almost painful. He was used to being mistreated, but he would not let Odin mistreat Ivy.
"Father…" He spoke so calmly that his voice radiated danger with every syllable. The whole room fell silent at his words. "I have a very simple offer to make."
Thor rose an eyebrow and he already dreaded what was likely to follow. Ivy also looked surprised, for she had expected him to shout or fight or do anything but bargain.
"You have exactly two problems." Loki started and took a few steps forward, making the guards flinch and prepare to attack. "One: Me. Two: Ivy. We do not fit into your picture-perfect kingdom"
Odin observed him curiously. "What is it you propose I do about it?"
"Banish us. To Midgard." Loki said seriously, standing eye to eye with Odin now.
"And what are your conditions?" Odin asked.
"I have one single condition." Loki replied and turned around to face Ivy. "Let us keep our magic. We will cause no harm to either world, you have my word. Adapting to life in a different world requires a certain flexibility, which only magic will grant us."
"What?" Odin asked in utter irritation, his eyes flickering between Loki and Ivy.
"I will not separate from Ivy, and since you won't have her reside in Asgard any longer, we will be leaving together. With our magic." Loki was still looking at Odin with a calm face, but even from the side Ivy could see so many emotions in his eyes it almost made her gasp. Loki was actually giving up everything he knew, just for her. The thought made her skin tingle.
"Why should I let my son run off with a criminal?" Odin's voice was dark and sinister. "She is a monster, Loki! Don't you know what they say about her in the city? Has she told you about the horrible things she has done?"
Loki didn't avert his eyes from his father's for even a second, as his expression hardened once more. "She is no more monster than I am."
"So you have made your decision then?" Odin sighed. There was no way arguing with Loki if he had set his mind onto something. Everyone knew that.
"Yes."
"Then have it your way. I accept the proposition. We have a deal..." He held his hand out for Loki to take, which he did without a second of hesitation.
Ivy for once decided to say nothing at all. This was between the two of them and she would only show her hatred for the allfather if she joined their agreement now, which would do nothing to help.
"Thor?" Ivy finally asked, looking at the large man to her left. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, sorry, I… I will miss you two." He said with a sad smile. "But then again… I couldn't think of a better companion for Loki, and I'm happy for the two of you. You can have a real life, outside the palace, and outside of the prisons."
"Thank you." Ivy smiled slightly, crossing her fingers behind her back. "I promise we won't try to rule over Midgard."
Thor's laugh thundered through the room. "Maybe you should try though, so that I can come to earth and kick your asses!"
"You're welcome to come kick our asses any time." Ivy winked at him, in the knowledge that Thor would definitely come to visit.
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Surprisingly, Ivy and Loki had a moment to themselves, without guards, while walking to Loki's room to collect their belongings before they would be sent off. Once the door closed behind them, Ivy wrapped her arms tightly around Loki as she pressed a kiss to his lips.
"Thank you." She whispered once their lips parted, but she still held onto him tightly.
"For what?" He asked in the same quiet voice and rested his head on top of hers.
"For being mine and allowing me to be yours." She smiled. "I love you, so very much."
"I love you too, my dear, and I always will."
They stayed like that for a while, until Ivy spoke up once more.
"We could live in the mountains, you know… No one would find us on Midgard." She proposed with a chuckle.
"But where would be the fun in that?" He smirked, leaning back to see her face.
Ivy grinned back. "I promised Thor that we won't try to subjugate Midgard… again."
"Oh darling, you shouldn't make promises you cannot keep." He winked at her. "But for now, I think we can try to hold back."
"But wouldn't you make a good king?" Ivy teased. "I crossed my fingers while promising that, just in case…"
"YOU, my queen, would make a great leader indeed. I am, was and always will be your humble servant."
"Oh stop being all flirty, we have plenty of time fot that once we leave this stupid place." She pecked his lips once more before moving to pick up her bag that she had left here before.
"Still gonna be wearing my shirt on Midgard?" Loki smirked at her.
"Always, darling." Ivy winked back and placed Sif's jacket with the ipod on a drawer. "I better leave those here… We can always find me something different to wear if it gets cold."
"Do you want to take anything else?" Loki asked as he moved some objects into his pocket dimension to be conjured up later.
"I've got the book with the plants, I really like that one. And I have you, that's probably the most useful thing I could take. Don't need anything else."
"How very funny… anyway, let's go!" Loki took her hand once more and they made their long way towards the bifrost. By foot this time, to memorize all the small details about Asgard they would maybe even come to miss.
They seemed to be the last ones to arrive, as everyone else was waiting for them.
"Do you think he will really let us keep out magic?" Ivy whispered to Loki.
"Oh, most certainly not!" Loki chuckled back. "What a shame. We'll have to live without that."
Ivy frowned, not at all content with this prospect. "Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen. We're keeping it." She whispered, making Loki smirk. It amused him greatly that Ivy had no idea how powerful her magic was indeed. It wasn't the evil force she believed it to be, it was probably the greatest source of power any of them held. A miracle rather than a curse.
"Farewell, my son. But remember, it was your own decision to run with this criminal…" Odin said calmly. "You will be responsible for her. And Thor will be responsible for both of you."
Thor sighed. "Brother, please, don't do anything I'd expect you to do."
"I don't make promises." Loki smirked.
Odin continued, ignoring their banter. "Heimdall will have an eye on you too. If you misbehave, you will be severely punished."
"Yeah okay I get it, we are doomed to live with the mortals and ought to behave, okay, can we get on with this now?" Ivy said in fake annoyance and rolled her eyes.
"I will come to check on you regularly." Thor said with a small smile. "And the Avengers will have an eye on you as well."
"Is this even an exile or do you just put us into kindergarten?" Loki snorted. "We are no threat to anyone."
"Well, last time you came to Midgard you tried to rule over it." Thor shrugged.
Ivy wanted to disagree. To tell him that it hadn't been Loki at all, that he had been forced to do it by someone else, someone… powerful. But she doubted that Thor or anyone around would believe her, so it shall be only them knowing the truth for know. One day she would make sure that everyone knew. But that day would not be today.
Heimdall opened the bifrost and Ivy held onto Loki's hand tightly.
"Ready?" Loki asked with an excited, yet mischievous smile.
"Always." Ivy answered with the same expression.
"No more mischief!" Thor called after them as they walked towards the multicolored light.
"We don't make promises." Ivy winked at Thor, and then they were gone into the light, holding onto each other. Because in that moment, each other is all they got and all they needed anyway.
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Aaahhh so this series is over at last! I actually reworked the entire tenth chapter and changed the plot a little because my real life friend Sandra asked me to (she didn't like the original ending, and since I'm a nice friend I decided to make this ending even better than the original one) I hope you enjoyed it 💚✨ hugs!
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evien-stark · 4 years
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✧I Need You✧ Chapter 126
The best thing to do for her now was take her home and put her to bed, so that’s what Tony did. He’d actually had reservations at one of their favorite spots, but what she needed was to be somewhere comfortable. She needed to rest. He didn’t want to put more pressure on her, but her spiraling like she was had consequences that went beyond herself. He was sure she knew. They didn’t need to talk about it. He just needed to be strong enough to wade through it with her and get her back to a place of semi-normal. And until then… she needed to be in bed. Away from everyone else. It was why he went straight to the private elevators, arm around her tight, guiding her. Not leaving her side until he’d taken her all the way into the bedroom. While he’d wanted to see her actually put to bed, knowing she could use it, when she sat down and put her head in her hands, she mumbled something about taking a shower. 
It chipped away at him, seeing her like this. Wanting to fix it immediately but not having the resources yet to do so. He’d make this better. He would. Kneeling in front of her, he helped her out of her heels. “You want me to stay?” The obvious thing to do- to start making this better- was to head straight down to the labs and start working. But she was a wreck. And he didn’t want to leave her, if she thought she needed him in the immediate area. 
He could tell she was trying to put on a brave smile. Tight and worn as she looked down at him. They held that gaze for a moment as she reached over, touching the tips of her fingers across his forehead. The action felt like it soothed them both. It was a question for another day, how he’d become so tangled with her… her voice was drawn when she found it. “I’ll be alright. If you have something to do, go ahead.” 
“Nothing more important than you.” Trying to make her understand. All of this really boiled down to one simple fact. He could make grandiose gestures of justice all day for the rest of his life. He could employ Iron Man and the Avengers to save the world every other week. He could try to protect earth with his dying breath but in the end… 
Looking at her now, holding her hands against his face as she’d touched down to hold the sides of his jaw in her palms… he sunk into her. Basked in the feeling of being here with her and for her. This was all for her. He needed her to be safe. He needed her to be more than okay. He wanted her to thrive. He wanted her to live and be happy. And they just… they weren’t there. Nowhere near it. 
The thought left him softly, “I love you.” Holding her as she still held on to him, eyes closing for just a moment. She’d been there as much as she could when he’d been having troubles- and still was, but almost nothing compared to what she was now being tortured by. She had the literal weight of the world on her shoulders so suddenly. While everyone else was content to sit in conference rooms and argue about the merits of right and wrong she went to work.
For them. 
She suffered. 
For them. 
Her voice wasn’t all there when she answered him. “I love you, too, Tony.” A balm for the soul. His, in fact. Because nothing made him feel better than hearing her say  those words. He tried on a smile for her, and felt better when she found an easier one to shine back at him. “If I need you I’ll call. I promise.”
Giving him permission to leave her side to go work on some lofty dream of getting them anywhere near normal. One thing had become very clear. They had to get out soon. The goals they’d laid out at the end of five years were in jeopardy, so she thought, and five years was inching closer, and the longer they didn’t get out the more they lost the chance at them. He had to finish this. Or else… 
He gave her a nod. “Alright.” Shifting up, one hand on the bed, he leaned in just to press a kiss to her forehead. Lingering there for maybe a little too long. Hoping being near to her imparted the same sort of calm he always felt with her, when he found himself in moments like this. She was already dealing with enough, he really should have just let her be. But as he stood in the doorway and watched her shrug out of her jacket and unbutton her shirt, he hated himself for calling her attention again. “Honey?” 
She looked up at him. “Yeah?” 
Because it was her, he had to hold himself emotionally steady. A hard enough thing to do when he had felt his heart slamming against his chest the entire ride home. Even worse now, as she looked up at him with those big, soft eyes of hers. Waiting. He had a split second to decide whether or not to leave it alone, and… “Earlier today- I’ve been thinking about it- you said Banner and I already found the scepter once. Were you thinking of the Tesseract?” 
It had been circling his brain angrily ever since it had come out of her mouth. And he’d had a long chat with Bruce about it, too. Though they’d both agreed at the table, he was worried about her sudden revision of history. She seemed confused, a cloud took over her eyes. Then she seemed a little flush with embarrassment. “I guess I was, yeah. I’m sorry. The thing with Loki- I guess I just have them all mixed together after everything that happened.” 
He understood that. Like some ugly mass. All inseparable. All part of the same thing. It made sense, but… 
She suddenly seemed sad. “Did I make things harder for you and Bruce? I’m sorry.” 
Quickly he shook his head. “Nah. We’re fine. Don’t worry about it.” At least this was  the truth. They had more than enough data to work with. “It’s a lower level of emission with the gamma pulses, but we should still be fine enough to start tracking it.” He played at casual with a shrug and crossed his arms. “Anyway. Seriously. Don’t worry about it. Just relax. When you’re ready for dinner just let me know.” A hot shower and a nice meal would probably do her some good. And a long night’s sleep. And taking the rest of the month off. If she would let herself. 
Her smile eased him at least a little. “Okay. I love you.” He never got tired of hearing her say that. It always drove a warmth so deep in his chest. 
He couldn’t help his smile. “I love you, too.” Truer, he was sure, every time he said it. 
With that he left the bedroom, and gave Dvahli with a stern warning that she better stop lounging and go curl up and provide some much needed cat love in his absence. Something he was sure the cat understood, as she lifted herself off of the coffee table (a place she wasn’t even supposed to be) and slinked her way past him and into the bedroom. Feeling pretty sufficient that she would be okay, he hit the button to call the elevator and got himself back down to the lab. 
Bruce was in their private section, set up and working on a handful of things. Though he looked up as Tony entered. “Short date night?” 
Tony sighed. “No date night.” And, deciding to be candid, he dropped himself onto one of the work stools and looked over at him. “She’s rubbed a little raw. Ellis has her on some council overseeing enhanced individuals as far as the United Nations is concerned.” At least that’s what Tony thought he got out of her weeping explanation of what had happened. He’d need to talk to her a bit more coherently about it later. When she was better. 
But this put a pause in Bruce. “That sounds… bad.” Then he quickly held a hand up. “Not that- not that I think she can’t handle it. She’s probably the best person for that job. But…” 
“Yeah. Sounds like we’re heading for a disaster.” Agreeing. Agreeing easily because that’s what had turned her so completely upside down like that. This spelled a lot of trouble. It was a bandaid, at best. “All the more reason to try and figure out this Ultron project now, wouldn’t you agree?” Forcing a grin. 
“We’ve got a few things more pressing than that fantasy, I think. Speaking of… did you ask her about…” Lowering his voice as if he was scared they were being eavesdropped on. 
“Yeah. I did.” Taking a breath he crossed his arms. “She said she’s just kind of wrapped all that Loki stuff up together. Pretty much what I figured.” 
Bruce’s eyes lowered. “Yeah. Alright. What about the... other thing?” 
A heaviness settled over the room. Tony’s heart ached. “Not right now. Besides. We don’t even have all the data yet.” 
“You can’t put it off forever, Tony.” 
“Not forever.” They both shared a look. But one Tony’s eyes dropped from. In partial guilt. “Just not right now.” 
Bruce frowned but nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Understood.” A long sigh left him. “Well. In that case. You wanna pick up where we left off?” 
Brushing past all that, Tony lurched off his stool and went over to Bruce’s workstation. “You read my mind.” Pulling a few holograms off the tabletop and into the air, “Ready to wrap on VERONICA?” 
“One less thing to worry about, I suppose.” 
                                                    ---
Someone was calling your name, you were sure. Except it didn’t sound like your name. The shape was different. But it was surely your name. 
You were hot. So hot you thought you might catch fire any moment. You had no idea where you were. Seemingly, maybe, nowhere. Just a deserted existence underneath a vast sky. There were noises. Too many. Hard to pick any single one out- except the cry of a name that was yours but wasn’t yours. And then, when you focused, still more screams yet in a language you didn’t know. Cries of pain. Sounds of… war? Attacks? Metal on metal on flesh. People you loved were dying- And then- 
Then you awoke in a sheen of heavy sweat and even heavier breathing. In bed in the penthouse. Your home. Safe, but panicking. The bed was empty, which made panicking that much easier to do. Flinging the covers aside you half fell to the floor on your hands and knees, trying to even out your breathing but failing hard. It felt like a great weight was bearing down on you. Your chest was seizing. You couldn’t breathe in here. 
It powered your limbs into flight, pushing yourself to stand, falling into the bedroom door and then wrenching it open, stumbling out into the living room where Tony was drenched in the light of his holotop table. Your sudden appearance and bumbling around startled him- he was calling you- your name- your actual name- along with a few, “Honey-”s thrown in. But you kept barreling forward towards the deck. And once you pulled the sliding glass door open, you fell out on hands and knees just trying to breathe. 
The air up there so high froze you to your core- more so was the steely downpour of icy rain as it soaked you, but it at least was refreshing in a punishing sort of way. But it wasn’t really helping, as your fingers clawed into expensive rooftop flooring and tears streamed past your lashes. Tony was there in another moment in a half kneel, one arm around you, his other hand holding an umbrella over the both of you- murmuring something. Words. But you felt the easy, recognizable heat of affection and worry in the place of actual understanding. 
Eventually the sound of his voice evened out past your ears and short strings of sentences actually started to hold meaning as he carried you through remembering how to breathe. Remembering that you were there, with him. Safe. And okay. Things your body and mind had forgotten in the flight of extreme panic. When all was said and done you found yourself thoroughly petered out, on your hands and knees bent so far forward your head was pressed against the floor of the deck, Tony’s hand sweeping up and down along your spine in long, slow passes. 
He was shivering, same as you, still speaking, but it was more the cadence of his low voice that helped the rest of your cognizance gather. Your shame was swift and just as punishing. “I’m sorry…” And, just like the child you felt like, as you sat up, you wiped your tears and snot on the back of your sleeve. Very dignified. 
“I’m the last person you need to apologize to.” Careful with you, as always, as he settled a hand on the back of your head, cradling the umbrella at the juncture of his shoulder so he could move his other hand to yours, helping you steady yourself as the both of you knelt there. 
“I was dreaming- having a nightmare-” Correction easy. No dream would have sent you in a spiral even as you laid there unconscious. Your hand raised up, absently clutching at your chest where you felt the painful heave of your heart. Hesitancy swirled around Tony as you lifted your head and looked at him. Perhaps unsure whether or not to let you go on. When he was quiet just long enough, “I think it was about my parents.” 
A sliver of guilt cut through the air between the both of you. Even in all your time together, you and Tony had never talked about your parents. Met with a vicious and violent ending. Your past- by design. Yours. You’d never wanted to. And you were sure some part of him respected and understood that. But still, you had always assumed… tucked away in police files and permanent records… something accessible that he had looked into. Probably around the time of your hiring. 
Due diligence some would call it. Others might call it snooping. 
Either way, it must have been stolen knowledge that knocked a piece of regret loose. Because now you were struggling, and he wasn’t sure how to bring up his own understanding without revealing his hand. All these years later. 
But his feelings were weighing you down, killing you while you were still too raw. So you dropped a shaking hand to his knee and let your head fall forward. “It’s okay.” I know you know. 
This only seemed to hurt him worse, but he put himself aside. He was not important just then. He swallowed hard. “...why now?” Instead opting to try and push forward to do whatever it took to help you. 
A very valid question. Some terrible tragedy that you’d been insistent on not being the foundation for your entire life. Not being the reason people felt sorry for you constantly. Not being the reason you were handed things, or looked at differently. Something you wanted… terribly to move on from. “I don’t know.” Voice shaky, when you found it, still sniffling. “Maybe it’s just the stress…” Trying to reach for any conclusion to make it not appear worse than it was. 
Just brain garbage all vomiting up all at once underneath immense distress. Sure. That made sense. 
“Well… what’d’you know…” Steadying himself a little. Realizing too little too late, as you always did, that your anxiety had infected him. But that he’d struggled to keep it together for you. His smile was tight as you looked up at him. “Great time for a vacation, wouldn’t you say?” 
You aimed your weakest smile back at him, something that lasted all of two seconds before you shifted over, coming in closer to just collapse into him. Pressing your hands at his chest and hiding your face in his shoulder. He was warm, even out here in the freezing rain. And perhaps you stayed there a little too long, because eventually he spoke again. 
“...you alright to go back inside?” Worried, still. And gentle. At your wordless nod, he moved into a small crouch, reclaiming the umbrella in one hand, sticking his other out close to yours. With such ease he helped you back to your feet, though in that moment the loss of energy became easily recognizable. “Do you want to go back to bed?” 
...even still. Tired as you were… “No. Can I just… I don’t want to bother you-”
“You never bother me.” 
“-...can I just. Sit with you? While you work?” 
His hand lifted a little higher up, settling at the back of your head again, bringing you in close so he could press a kiss to your hair. “Of course.” 
After a fresh change of dry clothes you snuggled up on the couch closest, and Dvahli was close behind, turning into a little vibrating ball of purrs in your lap. You picked at some warmed up dinner that you’d ignored earlier, and felt grateful for a steaming cup of earl gray all while Tony used you as a sounding board for a project he was just finishing up on. 
You’d been aware of the Hulk Buster armor that he and Bruce had been devising as a worse case scenario. But it was a true testament to how busy you’d let yourself become that it was now in its final stages. Comfortable and content, you drifted off just around the time Tony was detailing the AI- 
VERONICA. Tony swore up and down it stood for something… Very. Experienced. Reconnaissance. Operation. Nested. Inside. Cached… Drifting- had he said- Atmosphere? Automaton? Getting harder to remember by the second...
But. There was a telling hint of amusement that told you it was some sort of inside joke that you both weren’t privy to and weren’t awake enough to get. Even so… 
You remembered the curve of his voice and the beauty of his smile, the way he looked awash in holographic lights as you dozed off. Only disturbed briefly a little later as he turned you to lie down and tucked you in. Not sending you back to the bedroom alone- something else, even in your hazy half-unconscious state you were intensely grateful for. 
Just to have him near… 
                                                   ---
He protected you, when various members of the team came to call during business hours. It probably wasn’t the wisest thing for you to be hiding, especially not with what was ahead. But. It helped to clear your mind, not having to deal with any of that stuff. The reprieve would be short. Intensely short. March would be soon. 
Even shorter than you knew, as you sat in the back portion of a cafe, Happy on security detail. Just trying to pretend like you were normal and that you were enjoying life. A newspaper out front had caught your attention. The New York Bulletin’s detailing of how a masked marauder by the name of Daredevil had brought down Wilson Fisk. 
Just as you were finishing the article- some very juicy stuff about Fisk’s pretend good-man initiative turning out to be a money-laundering scheme involving lots of mafia moves and drugs- Happy approached your table. “Sorry to bother you.” 
You smiled up at him. “Don’t worry about it. What’s the matter?” 
He hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “Some guy wants to speak with you. Normally I wouldn’t break protocol but…” Protocol being that you were here enjoying coffee and a pastry like a normal citizen. And that you were technically on a sabbatical. So no one was to disturb you.
Shifting in your seat you tilted to see a very unassuming man standing at the front of the cafe. Dressed in a very beat up looking suit. He looked a little beat up himself. Dark glasses on. Cane in his hand- not just any cane. One of the ones used for the visually impaired to help see where they were going. You waved Happy in closer. “Not to be… I’m not trying to be rude…” Dropping your voice. “Is he blind?” 
“I think so, yeah.” 
“Then how does he know I’m here?” The only reason you cared about it. 
Happy seemed momentarily stunned. “Oh. I didn’t uh…” Didn’t think about it, is what he meant. 
You watched as the man in question smiled briefly with a shake of his head. Almost as if he’d heard you. Deciding that again coincidences weren’t a thing in your reality, you acquiesced. “Alright. Let him over.” 
With the order given, Happy gave a nod and then slowly walked back over to the man. They had a brief exchange and then the man walked your way. No assistance necessary. When he stopped at your table, you looked up at him. He was still smiling. “Thanks for letting me through your security, ma’am.” 
“You’re welcome. How can I help you?” 
“My name is Matthew Murdock. Of Nelson and Murdock.” Reaching his free hand up, he very obviously pretended to fumble around, patting his jacket down. “I thought I had a card…” 
You put an end to the charade. “And what can I do for you, Matthew Murdock of Nelson and Murdock?” 
Without the same act of grasping around, he reached out for the chair nearest and took a seat. “I wanted to say thank you. To you and Stark.” 
Unable to help yourself, your eyebrow arched. “Thank you for what?” 
His lips were a bitter twist of a grin. “We don’t have to play pretend. No one’s listening.” 
“I don’t know who you are.” Said about as honestly as you could. 
“Sure you don’t.” Grinning still. 
Tipping your head, “I don’t. ...you’re making it a little too obvious now but. I didn’t when you walked up.” Not needing to be fantastic at deduction for this. It was clear. This was the man in black. Or, now Daredevil, as the media was calling him. 
He sat there in silence for a moment until a small ripple of astonishment touched him. Either trusting your truth or… perhaps sensing you were indeed being honest. Well. Tony had pegged him as enhanced. You wondered in which ways. “...you really didn’t.” Seemingly pretty floored by this revelation. “But Stark-”
“Tony does, yes. I told him I didn’t want to know. Because I figured that was none of my business.” Being straight with him. “Or anyone else’s, for that matter.” 
“Stark didn’t seem to feel that way.” Just a tiny touch of agitation. You couldn’t blame him, really. 
But even so. “Tony is… he’s heavy-handed, when he thinks he’s being pushed against a wall. Fisk threatened us, so he started digging. You were probably just a pleasant surprise.” Defending Tony. As always. You sighed. “Even so. It’s wrapped up now, I just read. So. The data will get vanished. You have my word. ...and good work, by the way.” 
His smile was a little more friendly, after only a few bare seconds of consideration. “Well. Then that’s double the gratitude.” He reached out, aiming to shake your hand but his direction was a little off. 
You studied him. “...does the blind act work on everyone?” It was clear he could see. ...right? Or had you just said something utterly awful with no regard? He’d picked up that chair like he’d seen it. He’d seen you through a window, probably. He’d walked over to your table with no help of direction. 
Apparently you surprised him just a little, because a short laugh escaped him. “Worked on your goon.” 
“Happy is not a goon and if you insinuate so again I’ll have you thrown out.” Half-joking. ...maybe a quarter. You wouldn’t let anyone talk about Happy like that. But your nervousness got the better of you. “You aren’t really blind, right?” ...god you hoped not or else you would be just about the biggest asshole in existence right then.
“Can’t imagine how that would look. CEO of Stark Industries throws blind man out of a public cafe.” It was your giggles that turned his own laughter back out. He was a surprisingly pleasant person, when his entire world wasn’t being threatened and he wasn’t playing tough. Maybe he thought the same of you, because there was a light thrum of ease and enjoyment that he was otherwise trying to hide. Maybe just because he was making you sweat a little, as he’d sidestepped your question. Thankfully, when his chuckles died down, “Yes. I am blind.” 
You considered this. He wasn’t lying, but… “But you see in other ways. -not the general ways that come with being blind.” Going in full here. This was assuming a lot. 
“You’re very astute.” But you were rewarded for your boldness. 
Unable to help your smile, “I have to be when I accuse a blind man of not being blind. Huge PR disaster otherwise.” 
A softer noise of amusement left him but then he started nodding. “Yeah. Well. Please accept my gratitude. For everything.” 
“I didn’t do anything.” Assuming he was thanking you for whatever Tony had given him. “If you want to thank Tony, he likes sunflowers. And will only accept grand gestures, I assure you.” 
He stood, helping himself to his feet with one hand on his cane, the other he extended again. Straighter this time. “You did more than you think.” 
Giving him a firm shake you decided not to fight this. “Whatever you say. But. I’m serious about the sunflowers.” 
Matthew laughed again with a drop of his head. “I’m a little strapped for cash right now but I’ll try my best.” 
“I’ll order them for you in that case.” 
“Well now you’re just putting me in debt.” 
“Don’t be scared to stop by the Avengers Tower. We can discuss how much you owe.” While you didn’t know much about him yet, he seemed amicable and definitely like someone you wanted to keep around. 
“I have a lot of cleaning up to do of my own personal life if you don’t mind, and Hell’s Kitchen needs someone, too after this mess. But… if I ever decide to be less local, I’ll think about it.” 
Before he could turn and walk away you allowed a little bit of seriousness to enter. “Sometimes it’s not about being local, Matthew. Sometimes it’s just about needing people like us to do what’s right when no one else can.” 
His back was turned to you, and he went quiet. Thinking about this. It was almost a little surprising when he nodded. But it all died when he smiled again and instead of speaking on any of that, instead offered, “Call me Matt.” 
Whether he could see it or not, you smiled back. “It was nice meeting you, Matt.” 
“You, too.” 
He took one of your clouds with him, as you realized… you now had one less thing to worry about. 
How nice. 
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