#but i do have like... 45 of em...

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[chiropteracupola]

always on the edge of collapse now / absolutely nobody cares...

[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]

[powderblueblood]

earlier i was in the shower thinking shower thoughts about fantastic four and the original f4 which for some reason i saw upwards of 10 times but cant remember a single detail of it except for johnny storm was kind of fabulously whorey (keep that energy! i beg!) and doctor doom was CUNT and played by the guy who was the hot baddie from charmed. anyway, got me thinking about how often marvel blows its load casting incredible character actors in bit parts instead of saving them for a big kahuna like doctor doom and yes of course this is a post about me full tilt believing that they should have cast walton goggins as doctor doom instead of nothing bullshit they had his ass doing in antman 2: the antening or whatever the fuck.

what i'm saying is they could have absolutely freaked it but they didn't and they won't and i'm sick of people not freaking it. whatever happened to freaking it.

[ghostsinthecellar]

hm. don't like that cancelling our streaming services feels like a major loss. very silly way to feel.

[mars-ipan]

you guys have no idea the amt of self control i have exhibited this morning

[scatteredcloud]

Living my walkable bikable city fantasy past few days 💪🏼🤩‼️🏳️‍🌈🚲🚍‼️🩻🫀🚶🏻‍♀️‍➡️🚶🏻‍♀️‍➡️🦵🏼

[devilcroc]

music chat in the tags if you're a cool weirdo who likes that stuff lookin at u my midi friends and gods who actually know how to produce without using a rocksmith cord

[natbplease]

hmm. might actually post wips tomorrow

[lokideservesahug]

Something Sweet

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Pairing: Mark Webber x Sugarbaby!reader

Warnings: A lot of use of daddy but only from random twitter users, reader is implied to be quite a bit younger than Mark but an exact number is never given.

Notes: I should start on the Nico fic in not too long (probably a bit later in the week. But here is the Mark smau:)

Request: Can i ask for nico rosberg fluff or a mark webber sugar daddy smau?

Summary: Mark Webber looks like he should have a sugar baby attached to his side, so why doesn't he?

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☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: Life lately 💋🎀💕

Liked by aussiegrit and 981 others

View all 45 comments

User1: I want to be you so badly

↳Yourusername: I've found meeting a someone that wants to "help support me" does the trick 😉

User2:This luxury lifestyle is a NEED!!! How do you afford it?

↳Yourusername: My amazing boyfie🥰

User3: GIRL YOU'RE TAKEN!?!?!

Liked by yourusername

User4: Did anyone also see Mark freaking Webber in the likes!?!?👀

↳User5: Who?

↳User4: Dilfiest of all dilfs ever, he's an ex-F1 driver

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername: Week without the boyf so I decided to treat myself🎀💕

Liked by aussiegrit and 2,876 others

View all 509 comments

User1: Woah. Is this Mark's new girl?

↳User2: Nothing was proven but he is in the likes and her last photo is the same that oomf used for the thread so...👀

User5: YOU ARE SO HOT!!❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥💰💰❤

Liked by aussiegrit

User4: Woah, how did your man react to you posting such a hot photo dump when he isn't in it this time!?!?🔥🔥🔥

↳Yourusername: He just send an Australian kiss (and half a grand)💋💕

User 6: Whoah who is this cute young thing?

↳User7: Don't speak like that, it's objectification. But this is Mark Webber's rumoured girlfriend

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: You would too 💋💕

Liked by aussiegrit and 987,765 others

View all 7,987 comments

User1: This is iconic I fear...

↳User2: No but like fr

User3: I aspire to be this unbothered.

↳User4: Literally. I'm desperate to see more of her and Mark's dynamic.

Aussiegrit: ❤

↳Yourusername:Love u Markiepoo💕🎀

↳Aussiegrit:Love you more sweetheart❤

User5: I love her so so much

Liked by aussiegrit

↳User5: I SEE YOU MARK

User6: My question is, what is her contact name for someone like Mark🤔

↳Yourusername:...🤭 Oh I won't it's too bad

↳User7: Please Miss Y/L/N🥺🙏 Just tell us

↳Yourusername: Alright. I kid you not, its "A.T.Mark💋💰❤"

User8: You're hot AND funny!?!?!? Please leave Mark for me!!!

↳Aussiegrit: No can do I'm afraid

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Aussiegrit

Aussiegrit: From my baby😏💸 to My Love🌹❤

Liked by Yourusername, Oscarpiastri and 3,456,987 others

This user has disabled comments

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Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Taglist:@nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @minkyungseokie

[usiel21]

The courting gift.

Thing: What about a diamond?

Wednesday: Don't be ridiculous Thing, Enid is worth more than any mere dia-

Thing: Oh no, i know that look.

Wednesday: Thing you are a genius.

Thing: ...This isn't going to end well.

1 Hour Later...

Wednesday: Enid, a family matter has arisen that i must attend to, I will be back by the end of the weekend.

Enid: Uh yeah sure, everything okay?

Wednesday: (Pause) Yes, it cannot wait. Don't wait up and if i shan't return, burn this school down and everyone inside.

Enid: Wow... you're such a psychopath! (Giggles)

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Flattery will... it won't... (Sigh) Los halagos no te llevarán a ninguna parte cuando ya me has capturado, en cuerpo, mente y alma.

Enid: (Smiling widely) I Love you too!

Wednesday: (Quietly) Do not jest with your words Mi loba.

Two Days Later...

Enid is stood in the common room of Ophelia Hall, watching the news with Yoko and Divinia.

News Presenter: ...We have some upsetting breaking news, The Tower of London was broken into last night where thieves took the Koh i noor, a diamond that was set in the crown of the Queen Mother. With an estimated value of Three Hundred Million Pounds, the jewel is said to be priceless. The Metropolitan Police in conjunction with Palace officials have confirmed that currently there are no suspects, this is without doubt one of the greatest heists in history, although authorities are baffled that only one item was taken.

Enid: Wow... what kind of person would steal from a dead woman's crown. (Shaking her head) Anyway laters, Wednesday is due back at any moment!

Yoko: (Grinning) Like a puppy eagerly awaiting their owners return at the door.

Enid: (Blushing) Shut up. Anyway i'll see you later!

Enid rushes up a flight of stairs, two steps at a time, a bounce in her step. She had missed Wednesday. She had missed her so much. She pushes open the door making Wednesday flinch.

Enid: Wends!

Wednesday: (Turning around sharply, hiding something behind her back) Mi loba.

Enid: (Narrowing her eyes.) What's behind your back?

Wednesday: ...Nothing.

Enid folds her arms with a pointed glare and tilt of her head.

Wednesday sighs, knowing she can't lie to Enid, not anymore, brings the item in front of her.

Enid: Wednesday... please tell me you have a really, really good reason for having the fucking Koh-i-noor in our dorm room???

Wednesday: (Weakly) I stole it for you. I planned to give it to you this coming full Moon. To court you.

Enid:

Enid: Wends... all you had to do was ask me out for a coffee or something, not commit the greatest heist in living history! (Tearily) But oh em gee, you did this? for me?

Wednesday: I would do anything for you, my fierce, fluorescent wolf.

Enid: (Preening and blushing) Oh my gosh... I'm going to have to get used to that huh?

Wednesday: (Striding forwards) As long as I breathe every breath will be spent making sure you never feel unloved ever again.

Enid: (Squeaking as Wednesday gets within several inches of Enid's face)

Enid: You...I...uh... you love me?

Thing:

Thing: Oh fer fuck sake, just propose already!

45 Mins later...

Thing: These lesbians, i can't anymore. They keep making googly eyes at each other from across the room and smiling, a hand can only stand to watch so much you know?

Weems: Wait... Wednesday AND Enid???

Thing: YES!

Weems: Wednesday smiling?

Thing: YES!

Weems: (Muttering) God help us all...

(The Koh-i-noor is never found)

[ellecdc]

L…. idk if youre up for mega angst…. but how did cbbh sirius take the news of vix’s disappearance + death as it happened 🥲 like i cant imagine how deathly nervous he’d be at headquarters, hearing about the attack and anxiously waiting for his bestfriend and partner, holding out hope that they’d walk through the door with battle scars but alive …. Then a few hours later only James returns 🥲🥲🥲 pain

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this *sniffles and throws this at you all* I hope it was worth it, because I'm calling the police (thank you for your support and your request, I love you)

CW: hurt/NO comfort, (believed) death of a loved one, grief, physical injuries, vomiting

I'll Find You

Lily had a bad feeling about this.

Granted, that was nothing new about this war, but something felt intrinsically wrong right now.

Lily and Sirius had gotten a message from Dumbledore stating Benjy and Emmeline had portkeyed back to headquarters to report on their findings, while Jamie and Y/N stayed behind to finish up the stakeout. 

Sirius met Lily at her and James’ flat where they decided to head to headquarters to await your arrivals.

The only way to access the headquarters was through portkey – for security purposes – meaning that upon arrival, Lily spent about twenty minutes having to soothe an upset baby Harry.

“Portkey is no way for babies to travel, huh Haz?” Sirius cooed at his godson. 

Lily wanted to smile at the view, but she couldn’t shake this heavy feeling in her stomach.

“Something’s wrong, Pads.” She murmured.

Sirius grimaced. “I don’t feel great about this either. I mean, two days of silence at a supposed Death Eater meet-up? What’s that about?”

They followed the sound of gentle conversation when they found Dumbledore and Minerva conversing with Benjy and Emmeline.

“We saw nothing yesterday. I think we need to consider where this intel is coming from because they were either way off or are planning something sinister.” Benjy could be heard saying, causing Sirius to suck in a sharp breath.

“Thank you, Mr. Fenwick. I’ll let you know when we have word.” Dumbledore said as he dismissed the two Order members.

“Mr. Black, Mrs. Potter. And baby Harry...” McGonagall was all business until she spotted the small infant in Lily’s arms. “May I?” She asked.

Lily handed over the child who went with little-to-no fuss.

“What happens if this tip was a bust?” Sirius asked Dumbledore.

Dumbledore took in a breath and looked between his two former students.

“If the tip ends up being wrong, or worse – fabricated – we may need to consider moving the Potter’s into hiding.”

Lily groaned. “There’s a chance the Death Eaters don’t even know about the prophecy.”

“Yes, but desperate people go to great lengths when they feel threatened. We do not want them to find out and, in turn, find you.” Dumbledore argued.

Lily understood; really, she did. But her maternity leave already had her feeling like she was in hiding, and she was sick and tired of feeling so useless. 

“There are Voldemort sympathisers in the Ministry, Red. We have no idea what they could know.” Sirius pointed out.

Sirius and Dumbledore spent the next while discussing different aspects of the war, next steps, new leads, past battles, and Sirius’ job at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement before Lily couldn’t take it anymore.

“What time were they supposed to report back?” She spat.

Dumbledore’s eyes moved to consider the redhead. “We agreed no later than 21:30. 

Lily looked down at her watch. “Well, it’s 21:45.”

The three sat in silence as they let that fact wash over them.

“They left at 07:45 this morning,” Sirius supplied.

“They met with Em and Benjy before apparating to the location together and scouting the area.” Lily added.

“Okay so fourteen hours in the field? That’s too much.” 

“It’s not too much if there hasn’t been any activity.” Dumbledore argued.

Sirius stood up suddenly. “We need to go. Where’s this location?”

“Son, that is not how things work. We cannot risk giving away our intel or sending more people into the front lines of a battle.”

“That’s my partner out there, and my best friend – I cannot stand here and do nothing.” Sirius spat furiously.

“You can, and you will, Mr. Black.” He challenged.

“We’ll give them 45 minutes. If we haven’t received a patronus from them in that time, we’ll reconvene.” McGonagall placated.

Sirius spent the next 37 minutes pacing a hole in the concrete floor beneath him whilst Lily chewed a hole into her lip.

The ringing sound of a portkey suddenly echoed through the room before a figure fell unceremoniously into the wall and slid to the ground. Lily could tell by the size and the sobbing that it was James.

“What happened?!” Sirius barked as all four adults stood and made their way to James.

“Trap. Trapped, it...” James huffed between sobs and coughs before he leaned over and threw up on the floor.

“What’s trapped?” Dumbledore inquired as Harry started to fuss in McGonagall’s arms.

“Minerva, can you take Harry away please?” Lily pleaded. The matriarch offered a quick nod and left the room with the infant. 

“Death Eaters - it was a trap - she knew.” James got out through gasps.

He was covered in ash and dirt with various wounds bleeding along his person.

“Who knew?” Lily asked.

“Vix! She knew!” He screamed in agony.

“Where is she?” Sirius asked quietly.

James continued trying to breathe through his hyperventilating.

“WHERE IS SHE?!” 

“She’s gone, Pads, she...” James paused as he threw up again. Lily couldn’t tell if he was sick from his grief or his wounds. Perhaps both.

“No, no. She’s not gone. She was just with you. You left with her this morning.” Sirius argued calmly. “Where is she?”

James shook his head as his face crumpled in agony and tears spilled from his eyes.

“She saved me, she...she made sure I got out. I’m sorry, Sirius.”

“I don’t need you to be SORRY, I need you to TELL ME WHERE SHE IS.” Sirius bellowed.

“Sirius...” Lily whispered.

“Fuck OFF. Where IS SHE? WHERE IS SHE?”

“Sirius, son, I need you to calm down.” Dumbledore spoke quietly.

“I need to find her. I’ll find her. Tell me where she is. Where is she?”

“She’s GONE. She’s GONE, I FUCKING KILLED HER IT’S ALL MY FAULT.” James sobbed.

“She can’t fucking be gone! She can’t! I just kissed her goodbye this morning, I just saw her! SHE WAS JUST WITH YOU.”

“There were anti-apparition wards up when she started to be concerned about – about it being a trap since we hadn’t seen anything all day. There was fiendfyre. They were burning the fucking building down. Then I was hit and I...I don’t know. She got us out, and then...and-and then a bombarda and she...”

“No.” Sirius said plainly.

“Pads.”

“No.”

“She told me, she told me to go. She said-”

“No.”

“She told me to thank you for her, that she didn’t regret a thing.”

“No.”

“That she was so grateful for you, and that loving you was worth every minute of it. She’d do it again.”

“Stop.” Sirius begged miserably. 

“She said she loved you.”

“SHE DIDN’T LOVE ME. SHE LOVES ME.” Sirius screamed.

“She loves me NOW! Not loved me past! I have to find her. I have to find her. Red,” He turned his sights to Lily.

“Please, please. I have to find her. Please, I have to. I’ll find her. Please.”

Lily’s tears were streaming down her face. “I’m sorry, Sirius.”

“Don’t be sorry! Don’t, I-” He looked desperately to everyone in the room.

“I don’t want anyone to be sorry! I just want her! I need her, please...” he sobbed.

“I’m sorry.” James repeated.

“STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT!”

“Sirius.” Lily murmured.

“I have been on countless missions with your wife, and I have always brought her home, back to you!” Sirius spat furiously at James. “I’ve never let anything happen to your wife. I TRUSTED YOU! Y/N... she-she trusted you!”

James sobbed again as his face contorted in agony.

“Sirius, that’s not fair.” Lily pleaded.

“Fuck off! What’s not fair is you get to go home with your husband tonight and Y/N is gone.” Sirius bellowed as his face fell in realization. “She’s gone.” He whispered. 

The room fell painfully silent as Sirius stared into space, murmuring to himself.

“She loved me...not loves me...I said goodbye...a kiss, she had breakfast, what did she eat? What did she have for breakfast this morning.  Oh gods, I can’t remember.”

“Sirius.” Lily asked gently as she went to touch his shoulder. He flinched away from her.

“I think she had cereal; it was cereal. She had cereal for breakfast. I think her bowl is still in the sink. Oh gods, her things. All of her things. She can’t be gone? She can’t be gone...I have all of her things. She needs her things...she’s-” He was cut off by a shuddering breath.

“My girl.” He whispered in agony. 

The other three members let Sirius gather his thoughts before his eyes flew to Lily.

“Lily...she...”

“I know, Pads.”

“I can’t do this without her.”

“I know, Pads.”

The heavy weight of the loss began to settle amongst the friends before Dumbledore spoke solemnly. 

“I think it’s time the Potter’s go into hiding.”

[venusacrossthestars]

'What You Waiting For'

Pairing- Oscar Piastri x reader

A/N: This is my first F1 fic ever, so please bear with me. I originally wrote this on my phone but I loved it so much so I wrote more to it. I also listened to 'What You Waiting For' got inspired to write this and then listened to the song for like 45 minutes. Also a special thank you to @arieslost who I sent the crude rough draft to and freaked out about it, I love you bestie <3

WC-764(?)

F1 masterlist

Lights flashing, bass pumping, sweaty bodies, the whole club experience and right in the middle of it all stands you and Oscar. Each of you a drink or two in your systems, enough to make the both of you more confident in each other's presence. A couple of songs go by that you vaguely recognize, until the familiar beat of Gwen Stefani's ‘What You Waiting For?’ blasts over the speakers.

Your face lights up as you shout to Oscar, “I love this song, dance with me!”

“I've been dancing with you this whole time!” He shouts back, rolling his eyes.

“No! You've been dancing next to me, this one you need to be dancing with me!” You don’t let him get another word in as you grab both his wrists and pull him closer to you, shifting his arms to the beat.

"Oh, Oh Oh," you moan out along with the song, you don't miss the way Oscar's eyes skim around your body. You drop his hands to swing your own above your head and spin during the chorus.

Once you're back face to face with Oscar you place your hands on his shoulders, while his find their home on your hips.

Not stopping your movements, Oscar is now moving along with you.

The look he is giving you is far from the friendly innocent looks that the Aussie driver typically gives. His gaze keeps dropping to your lips, and you would be a liar to say you aren't doing the same. The lyrics are exactly your inner thoughts, what are you waiting for?

Instead of singing along obnoxiously, hoping that Oscar might pick up on the undertones you ask loud enough for him to hear, "What you waiting for Osc?"

That seems to be all the push he needs, one hand moves from your hip to cup the back of your head. Faster than you can process his lips are on yours.

With how his lips move against yours, you would think this is the last time Oscar would ever be able to kiss someone. Your hands, now making their way up the nape of his neck, pull at his hair causing him to come up for air-well more of a breathy moan.

Your reprieve is short because he is right back on you, this time you are prepared for it, now equally as desperate. You allow him, well more specifically his tongue, dominance and he is more than thankful.

People move past you, some shoot you a look, but you are more than happy to ignore them. Your focus is on one thing and one thing only, making out with Oscar until you can no longer breathe. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and you pull away from Oscar. His lips however chase yours, to satisfy him you press your nose against his.

“I-” you begin, trying to catch your breath, “I think, maybe, that we should get off the dance floor, people are staring.”

“Let 'em stare,” is all he says as he leans in for more.

“Oscar,” you moan against his lips.

“I love it when you say my name.”

“Oscar, baby, we got to move.”

“But then this might end.”

“What might end?”

“You kissing me, you making those little noises that drive me insane.”

“You could have this all the time. All you have to do is ask.”

“Ask?”

“Ask me out Oscar, then none of this will have to end.”

“Go out with me,” his hands cup your face, eyes pleading, “let me take you out on dates, let me spoil you, let me love you.”

“I would like nothing more,” you giggle, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Now can we please go back to our table, my feet are killing me.”

“Of course baby.”

The two of you walk back to your table, hand in hand. There the rest of your party is going about their business, too fucked up to notice the slight, but obvious, change in you and Oscar's behavior. Well, all except Lando, who is staring right at Oscar with a cat-like grin.

“So all you needed was a bit of liquid courage and some frisky dancing?” Lando asks with a smirk.

You and Oscar both groan and you drop your face into your hands. “How much of that did you see?" Oscar asks with a wince.

“All of it,” Lando replies, “ I thought the two of you were going to rip your clothes off and do it right in the middle of the dance floor.”

“LANDO!”

[purpleiris97]

Do you think that the Bat-family has different batarangs to keep track of who caught which villian.

I like the idea that in the early days with batman and (dick) robin they would take down a criminal and batman would leave a batarang like moniker. Batman gets the recongition, but robin is an after thought no one would know it was him if he took down the baddie this time.

Dick wanted to make sure that GCPD knew that it was him that took down the criminal not Batman, and because Bruce has a soft spot for his kids he agrees. Robins birdrangs are born.

Fast Forward years later the whole Bat-fam have their own batarangs and like a mass event brakes out. The Bat kids have a growing bet on who can catch the most baddies, their batarangs are the markers.

Spoiler: 25 plus the Mastermind Boys, read 'em and weep! That has got to be worth extra points.

Nightwing: It doesn't, 30!

Red Robin: 30? Step up your game birdboy I got 45. Sorry Steph it was a game of numbers.

Batgirl (Cass): Tie.

Spoiler: No fair, he should be worth the full total and then some.

Robin *pouting*: Don't pout Brown it's unbecoming.

Red Robin: Oh yeah, little gremlin, and what's your final total?

Robin: 43... you will not best me next time, Drake.

Red Hood: 47! I caught 2 extra who weren't part of the prison break.

Robin: That is cheating Todd and you know it!

Red Hood: Hey! They were looting a store and they were going to with the others anyway.

Batgirl: Then 55. 10 extra found robbing bank on 3rd.

Oracle *chiming in on the comms*: If it matters, I locked up 12 at the Zoo in the lion enclosure.

Spoiler: With the Lions?

Robin: Does it matter?

Red Robin, Spoiler, Nightwing: I think it matters.

Signal *appears in middle of the Bat-kids*: 71!

Red Hood *Screams*: Duke! Stop using your powers in the cave like that man you were 2 seconds from being pumped full of lead.

Signal: Sorry, Jay - too excited. Anyway 71 Did I win?

*Collective groan of the other Bat-kids*

Nightwing: Where did you find 71 convicts?

Batman: He didn't. He replaced some of my batarangs with his.

Signal: *gasp* Batman you believe that I, your most recent and rule following protege would -would cheat, at a game that was according to you- and I quote "This is not a game. I will not partake in this. Round up every last convict you find game or not". Your 83 other Batarangs don't count in this game and all 503 convicts new and old are in holding and are being transported back to prison.

Red Robin: Wait that math's not right.

Bluebird: Nope, 'cause the other 91 convicts were taken out by moi.

Signal: Damn it. I was banking on Batwoman.

Robin: A multi shot taser gun should be considered cheating.

Bluebird: Sorry Damien, Duke, I reign supreme. All hail the Queen.

Batman *sighs*

[lilacevans]

meet some of the pete's place regulars!

˚ ♡ ✧.* : ̗̀➛ requests by: two anons, @welight-theway, @crokitheloki, @hansensgirl, @buggy14, @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade.

✧.*ೃ⁀➷ pete's place | the intro | opening night | the playlist ༊*·˚

this is a dark au/verse. minors need not interact. happy endings don't happen here.

𝐀𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫

41 years old.

6’2’’.

Suburban dad with a dark side. 

Likes flashing the cash for a look as he doesn’t get much attention back home.

Never misses stopping by when he’s in town.

Has a type and it just so happens to be you.

Brings you gifts; new outfits, new shoes, gold chains, etc, every single time he visits the club.

Will spend the whole night promising you the world– and his wallet, if you just go home with him.

Top Three: Daddy Kink, Overstimulation, Praise Kink. 

𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐫 𝐕𝐞𝐭

45 years old.

6’4’’.

Oh, what a nice man–

Warning sirens sound in the distance.

Danger! Danger! 

The man will make you beg, make you cry, rearrange your insides, make you fall in love and break you down all within a night.

The man is all kinds of fucked up. But knows how to hide it well.

Under Lloyds employement so like, you can guess the kinds of fucked up. 

Did awful things while serving in the army, brought some of that back home with him.

Protect you? More like slaughter anyone who gives you a momentary glance. 

Top Three: Rough (Violent) Sex, Service Kink, Corruption Kink.

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐛𝐨𝐲

28 years old.

6’1’’.

Cocky motherfucker, hot and he knows it.

The embodiment of a hyper puppy. 

Acts like he’s always got the zoomies whenever he’s in the club.

Annoys the absolute shit out of all the girls but he’s hot, so they deal with it.

Secretly a sweetheart but never shuts his mouth.

Gets a little too handsy when he’s had a drink– or five. 

Always asking Pete to loan him one of his girls for the night.

Don’t get him twisted, the guy FUCKS. and he's NASTY about it

Top Three: Dirty Talk, Deepthroating, Body Worship (receiving). 

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐟

43 years old.

6’0’’.

Corrupt little wank, like’s to make Pete nervous when he comes around, but he’d never spill on the shady things as he likes the club’s views. 

Talks big shit but you’ll find him in the VIP rooms on a Saturday night. 

A little wrong in the head, but treat him right and he’ll make you scream. 

Can get a little rough with the girls when he's had a few.

Tight with money so always tries it on for a discount for not opening his mouth.

Has a big cock and is smug about it.

Likes 'em on their knees with an wide open mouth.

Top Three: Daddy Kink, Corruption Kink, Choking. 

𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐲𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫

32 years old

6’0’’.

Troubled addict that’s in the club; Every. Single. Night.

Likes just to watch, girls kinda hate him in the club because he won’t even throw a dollar bill but will spend a paycheck on drinks and other things.

Spends money he doesn’t have, does the odd job for Pete when he’s in a little legal trouble which gets him the odd night in the VIP rooms.

Don’t underestimate him though.

Will have you crawling back for seconds.

While not the roughest by any means, get him high enough and annoyed enough, he’ll make sure you’re not walking for the next two weeks.

Top Three: High Sex, Overstimulation, Throat-Fucking. 

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐦𝐩 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞

35 years old

6’1’’.

Idk, fam, somethings off about this one but we're gonna ignore it, okay?

Stares a little too long, kinda like he’s hunting.

Makes your heart race a little being around him– fuck or fight i guess. I know which I’m doing. 

Tips nicely but never wants a private dance, likes to watch and drop cash at your feet after.

Weirdo tbh. It’s not like he ain’t got the money. 

Sucks to be you if you decide to go home with him.

You ain't coming back, honey.

Top Three: Blood Play, Knife Play, Bondage/Rope.

*** if by chance, i have missed your req and you know you sent it before reqs were closed, please let me know asap so i can add it to this list!! thank u all sm for u patience. i love u all<33

[hoshigray]

hi! i’m not quite sure if you’re comfortable with this but could you do toji taking care of his bratty gf that’s on their period? no pressure especially if you’re not comfortable! thank you so much! <33

Oh, dw anon, I'm totally comfortable writing this kind of stuff, but thanks for checking with me tho c: Didn't know what approach to go with this, but felt like fluff would be the best fit (since ik not everyone's into period sex; perhaps an idea I can go back on later *shrugs*). Please enjoy, and I hope you like this! ♡ Also, this is 3 for 3 on the request streak, holy shit haha! Cw: Toji x fem!reader - fluff - Toji trying to be a good bf and lowkey domestic - the reader is a lil whiny, but Toji still loves you - tummy massages!! - some light-hearted comedy; reader trying to annoy Toji lol - pet names (baby, sweetie, princess) - just you and Toji being a couple :3 Wc: 1.1k

"Toji?"

The man hums but doesn't turn to you, watching the television from the floor while you lay on the couch.

You try again. "Tojiiiiii~"

He rolls his eyes at your sing-song attitude, finally turning to your face. "Yeah, baby?"

"Would you please add more water to the kettle for me? My water bottle's getting cold, and my feet hurt."

With a huff, he gets up and walks to the kitchen. "Sure thing, sweetie." You hum into your couch pillow while wiggling on the water bag you're lying on, taking in whatever's left of the lukewarm storage bottle.

Today has been quite a busy day on your end. Amid two midterms, a group project, and a paper due at 11:45 p.m. tomorrow, you still have work to do today. And to top it all off, your period started two days ago, meaning you're suffering as of now. Not only is stress from college drowning you, but your body makes the pressure tenfold more painful to the point of wanting to shut down.

This is why you've spent your Friday afternoon cooped in your apartment and avoided talking with or seeing anyone, trying to focus on your work while dealing with your personal predicament. Especially texting your boyfriend, Toji, that you won't be able to see him for dinner at his favorite ramen place.

Nevertheless, the older man comes knocking on your door with a bag full of your favorites from the restaurant, saying he'll just spend the night with you at your place and help with whatever you need. Though you tried to decline his offer, his company has been very comforting.

However, since he came here with sincere intentions, you want to test his patience. With a cheeky smile pulling your lips, you start your act.

You hear Toji press the button to heat the water up, his heavy steps prominent of his return to you in the living space. He plops back down on his place on the floor, leaning against the couch you're lying on and putting his attention back on the TV.

Well, he tries to.

"Tojiiii~," You see the rise and fall of his shoulder sync with the heavy exhale escaping through his nose. Giggles are stifled, but your smile is wide when he looks back at you with one brow scrunched down.

A stern "What?" is thrown in your direction.

A tiny giggle slips out. "Can you please massage my tummy?"

He looks dead at your face before he scoffs. "Do I look like your personal maid or somethin'?"

"No, you're my wonderful, handsome, and caring boyfriend," You bring a foot up to tap his shoulder, to which Toji grumbles. To his dismay, you continue to tease him with your poking. "As a caring boyfriend, you should attend to your lady when she is in insufferable pain."

"Poke me with your toes again, and I'll chew 'em off." Okay, that's when you stop pestering the older man, holding in your laughter as he scowls with a devilish smirk. Another huff of air exits his lungs before he gets up from his spot once again, and you reposition yourself for him to sit on the couch facing you. He places the water bottle on the floor. "You got your own hands, doncha?"

"Of course, but I asked for your hands." He glares at you though you pay it no mind, lifting your shirt to pat your stomach. "Now, massage me!"

Toji shakes his head yet lifts his hands and places them on your exposed abdomen, calloused and scarred fingers squeezing your plush skin. "So annoyin', ya fuckin' brat." You blow a raspberry. "I shoulda stayed at the ramen joint."

"Pfft, please, you know you don't go there alone anymore. Might've gotten bored and brought yourself here regardless." You close your eyes and sink into the feeling of the man's fingers rubbing your stomach.

He only replies with a small 'hmph' and continues with the task thrown onto him.

This continues for a few moments, and you enjoy the man's hands roaming your belly. His palms and fingers' rough yet gentle manner makes you feel like the cramps are no longer a problem. It feels so pleasant. Curious, you open an eye to stare at the man before you.

The look on Toji's face displays nothing but pure focus, looking at his work as he massages you. Raven bangs cast shade from the ceiling lights. The man had soft emerald eyes, yet keen as they zero in on your physique as he skilfully kneads your abdomen with his digits. His lips are kept in a neutral line, and you can't help but look at his scar when he licks his teeth.

The more you examine him, the more you realize just how lucky you are to see this side of him. And maybe how lucky you are to have such a man deal with you even during times like this.

"Whatcha lookin' at me for, princess?"

Toji's gruff voice snaps you back, realizing he caught you surveying him. A grin dashed on his face. You decide to toy with him one more time. "Oh, Tojiiiii."

The smirk immediately disappears, replaced with a look that screams mild annoyance. You let out a burst of laughter, rocking your head back and forth and laughing harder every time you peer back at his face. "Fucking what now, ya damn brat?" He doesn't try to hide the irritation in his voice, and you can feel him glare holes into you while you laugh into your hands.

You calm yourself down, speaking in chuckles. "You know I love you, right?

"Shut the hell up." Not a single change to his face.

"No, I—pfffthaha," giggles escape your lips as you try to center yourself to speak appropriately, placing your hands on his big ones that rest atop your tummy. "I mean it, I really do! I appreciate you coming here and dealing with me and my whiny ass. If you hadn't been here, I'd probably be rotting in my bed right about now. I love you, so thank you for watching out for me."

Toji's face slowly molds away from his peeved expression, now relaxed and exhibitng a look of slight astonishment. You can make out a tiny shade of pink under his eyes and earlobes, yet you choose not to point it out to showcase your seriousness with a loving smile. He scoffs, shakes his head, and leans close to your face.

"You're somethin' else, ya know that, kid?" He flicks your forehead, resulting in you groaning from the diminutive mistreatment. But he quickly places a kiss when you're done squirming from the pain. "I love ya too, baby. Always."

You beam at him. "Even when I'm whiny?"

Finally, he laughs. "Yeah, even when yr' whiny. My whiny, annoyin', cute-ass princess."

"I said whiny, not annoying."

"Whatever." The two of you exchange laughs and kisses on the couch, completely disregarding your assignments and the kettle ready with hot water. It doesn't matter nor compare with the adoration you experience from him right now, so you indulge yourself for as long as you can.

[leclerc-s]

the blue - part four

masterlist previous next

i think i like him...

congratulations, you're officially the last person to know

HOW COULD ANY OF YOU KNOW WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MYSELF??

the way you look at him but don't worry he likes you too

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

easy, the way he looks at you

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN THOMAS??

well, you look at him like he hung the moon and he looks at you like you're the only person in the room who matters to him.

ASK HIM OUT!!!

no! and risk our friendship? no fucking way

it worked out for me didn't it?

yeah, but it's different.

how is it different amelia?

i don't know it just is.

god you're a fucking idiot. no wonder we're related.

okay rude

i'm being an idiot.

do you want to go on a date?

fuck i like you do you like me?

am i fucking 5?

OH SHIT!

FUCK!

I'M SORRY THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SEND IT TO YOU!

so you meant to send it to someone else?

NO! FUCK!

amelia, it's okay. i get it if you meant to send it to someone else. it's fine.

jesus fuck how can i write songs but not get through this one fucking thing?

okay, fuck it. i can do this.

do you want to get lunch with me?

i mean we already have plans for tomorrow, so yes amelia, i do.

NO YOU IDIOT!

okay, that was uncalled for.

ME. YOU. DATE?

oh.

forget i said anything. it's okay. i get it. i hope we can still be friends.

read 13:28

14:04

amelia screamed into the nearest pillow scaring her little brother. she had hoped that oscar had gotten busy and wasn't just ignoring her, she didn't want to ruin her friendship with him, not over some stupid feelings.

"mum! she's doing it again!" paddy shouted. nikki holland walked into the room watching as her daughter continued to scream into a pillow. nikki shooed her youngest son out of the room, which he did without protesting. he did not want to watch his sister cry knowing there was nothing he could do. last time she had sobbed for 45 minutes when they were alone without telling anyone what it was about. to this day paddy suspects it was harrison’s fault, it always seemed to be these days.

nikki sat next to her daughter waiting for her to stop her screaming. when amelia's head popped out from inside the pillow, she smiled at her mom. nikki knew her, she knew it wasn't a genuine smile, something was upsetting her.

"what's wrong?" nikki questioned her daughter. amelia smiled, "i’m fine mum."

"no, you aren't. talk to me, is this about harrison?"

amelia groaned, "did everyone know about that?"

nikki nodded, "we did honey. now what's wrong?"

"am i unlovable? is there something about me that people don't love?"

"what?" nikki questioned, "no, you aren't. you're the most loveable person i know, and i'm not just saying that because i'm your mother. what makes you think that?"

"i asked oscar out on a date. he only said oh. i thought he liked me, tom said he did."

nikki pulled her daughter in for a hug, the girl placing her head on her mum's chest listening to her heartbeat, "i'm sure you caught him off-guard. let him get back to you, don't assume the worst."

amelia opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by a knock at the door. she exchanged looks with her mum before standing up and going towards the front door. she gasped in surprise when she noticed who was at her front door.

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES EARLIER

i need a favor

what happened to hello tom? how are you tom? how's your day going tom?

hi tom, how's your day? how are you? i need a favor.

i'm great oscar, thanks for asking. what favor do you need?

i need your address

excuse me?

well amelia's address

can i ask why?

i fucked up. amelia asked me out on a date and all i said oh. i have to fix this.

and you plan on fixing this how?

by taking her out on a date? and apologizing profusely for fucking up.

at least you're apologizing. i'm still waiting for harrison to apologize to amelia.

don't fuck this up piastri and my sister is staying with my parents right now. she didn't want go home to her empty apartment yet.

i won't, now what's her favorite flower?

tulips, she loves tulips

take care of her oscar

i promise

NOW

amelia gasped in surprise at who was at her front door. oscar smiled at her, holding a bouquet of tulips in his hand. he looked a bit relieved that she had been the one to answer the door. oscar has silently prayed her parents or brother hadn’t been the one to open the door, that would’ve been awkward.

"hi," he greeted, "i was busy so i didn't answer your text. does the offer still stand?"

"of course," she whispered. oscar held the flowers out to her, "these are for you."

amelia grabbed them, "tulips are my favorite, who told you?"

"a little spider," oscar joked. amelia laughed, and oscar felt his heart skip a beat, "so about that date?"

"now?" amelia questioned, "i'm not dressed properly."

oscar took in her appearance, she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. a simple outfit and yet she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, "i think you look beautiful."

amelia blushed, "i have to go put these in water," she told him. oscar nodded, "i'll wait here."

paddy appeared behind his sister, "i'll do it. go. get out of the house for once."

amelia jumped, "when did you get here?"

"i saw a cool car in our driveway, i had to know who it was," paddy explained, "hi oscar. what kind of car is that?”

"hello," oscar greeted, “it’s a mclaren.”

"of course it is,” paddy joked, “i want her back home before midnight," paddy threatened, switching his demeanor from the kind boy he had been moments ago.

"paddy!" amelia scolded. paddy and oscar laughed, "this isn't funny."

"it kind of is," oscar said, "she'll be back before midnight mr. holland."

paddy sweetly smiled, "she comes back in tears or anything less than happy and we will hunt you down. understood?"

"yes sir."

"good," paddy said, handing her a jacket and pushing his sister out of their home, "have fun but not too much fun!"

"paddy!"

the boy giggled maniacally before oscar held a hand out for amelia to take. she took his hand, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach at the cause of that simple action. paddy closed the front door as the two began walking towards his car. he shared a knowing look with his mother and he made his back to his room, she fondly rolled her eyes at her youngest.

amelia quickly realized oscar piastri was nothing if not a gentleman. he had opened the car door for her, shutting it behind her before rounding the car and sitting in the driver's seat. he gave her a bright smile before leaving her family’s driveway. the two talked for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes as oscar parked his car in front of a coffee shop. amelia gasped, it was her favorite shop in her hometown, she turned to look at oscar and he just gave her a bright smile.

"you're brother helped out more than i would like to admit," oscar softly said, "but this was the best i could do on such a short notice, you kinda caught me off guard."

amelia smiled at him, before leaning over the console of his car and hugging him, "it was better than my idea."

oscar pulled away from her, ignoring the closeness of their faces, "what was your idea?"

"attempt to cook lunch for us, fail, and order food," she joked.

oscar laughed at her joke and amelia smiled again, at least someone in her life liked her jokes. her brothers didn't understand her jokes half the time, except for paddy, he always got them. her parents didn't understand them at all and her friends always told her not to underestimate her skills. the truth was amelia was a shite cook, there was no denying that, she was a great baker but cooking was a no go.

oscar gave her a final look before getting out of the car, rushed to her side and opened her door, holding a hand out to her, "shall we?"

amelia laughed, "we shall," she said as she intertwined their hands, oscar gave her another smile before leading her inside the coffee shop.

ameliaholland 'in a world of boys, he's a gentleman'

view all comments

landonorris AMELIA? WHAT IS THIS?

↳ ameliaholland it's an instagram post lando. duh.

↳ landonorris I FUCKING KNOW THAT! WHO IS THAT??

↳ ameliaholland that's a secret i'll never tell.

samholland1996 AMELIA? WHAT THE HELL?

↳ ameliaholland isn't it such a cute post?

↳ samholland1996 NO! WHO IS THAT??

↳ ameliaholland please refer to my earlier comment.

harryholland64 AMELIA GRACE HOLLAND!!!

↳ ameliaholland yes??

↳ harryholland64 ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!!

↳ ameliaholland can't i'm on a date 🤭

username AMELIA GRACE HOLLAND SOFT LAUNCHING WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD!

oscarpiastri oh?

↳ ameliaholland oh?

↳ username WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? WHAT DOES PASTRY BOY KNOW??

hazosterfield oh.

↳ username the difference between their comments is hilarious to me

username where are the overbearing and overprotective comments from paddy and tom?

↳ username those two probably knew.

danielricciardo AMELIA?? HUH?

↳ ameliaholland cute post right?

↳ danielricciardo i've joined the list of your brothers, i don't know who he is but i'll break his face if he hurts you like you-know-who

zendaya i'm sorry? why wasn't i told about this??

↳ ameliaholland i'm sorry z! it just happened! i'll text you the details later!

↳ zendaya i'm holding you accountable to that!

oscarpiastri posted a new story

seen by logansargeant, landonorris, ameliaholland and others

¡leclerc-s speaks! they're my babies who just had their first date. they are not dating, not yet. the hard launch is when they start officially dating, i'm working up to that. i also clearly don't know how time works so ignore that plot hole, i'll probably fix that later.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!