#but i couldnt put it into words and then remembered this “meme”

[aftonroboticss]

holy shit it's them

[libbys-braincell-loss]

"The Dream"

---

An SMG34 oneshot

Took inspo from a mini comic i saw while scrollin thru the smg34 tag, will link it when i find it again (edit: found it)

This oneshot was written after Meme Hunters came out

The impulse got to me and i couldnt resist

This oneshot includes:

angst

fluff

references to igbp

thats abt it

---

SMG3 puffed out his chest, and hyped himself up. He held a small blue flower in his hands, and he tried to calm his breath.

He was going to do it.

He was gonna confess to his crush, SMG4.

He decided better now than never, and saw SMG4 not too far away from him, back facing him. SMG3 mentally prepared himself and walked over to SMG4, holding the tiny flower behind his back.

"Hey, SMG4!" SMG3 said in as chipper of a voice he could. He instantly regretted it and decided to stick with a more realistic tone. He sighs and speaks in a quiet, genuine voice.

"Four... I have something to admit to you."

He awaits a response from SMG4, but he doesn't turn around. SMG3 finds it strange, but continues.

"I... I have... I have a crush on you."

SMG4 doesn't turn around. SMG3 nervously begins taking the tiny blue flower out from behind his back to hold out in front of him.

"...I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember. But back then, I thought it was jealousy, or envy. But as time grew on, and we grew closer, I realized the feeling never vanished despite us... becoming friends. And I realized, that I had feelings for you. And I can't bottle them up any longer."

SMG3 feels himself growing nervous as SMG4 doesn't respond.

"...Well? Aren't you going to say anything?..."

Just then, SMG4 turns around with an uncharacteristically ominious smile. This makes SMG3 jump back a bit, startled.

"You are in love with me??? Puh-lease." SMG4 says in a mocking tone.

SMG3 freezes.

"...Excuse me?..." he says, quietly and nervously.

SMG4 laughs.

"Do you really expect me, the better content creator, the better person, the hero, to fall in love with my copy? My rival?" SMG4 says in disbelief as he steps closer to SMG3.

SMG3 swallows nervously, his head spinning, his worst fears coming true.

SMG4 puts two fingers on SMG3's chin and tilts his head upwards to stare into his eyes. SMG3 is frozen, he can't seem to stop him.

"You are nothing but a thorn in my side. So petty, and pointless. Always degrading me... where are your manners?"

SMG4 grabs the tiny blue flower from SMG3's hands, and crushes it in between his fingertips, while glaring at SMG3's helpless, aching face. SMG4 lets the flower petals fall to the floor.

"Why would you love someone who hates you?"

SMG3 feels tears beginning to form in his eyes. For whatever reason, he anticipated this happening. He expected him to deny his confession in the most horrible way possible, and SMG4 was justified to do so, because SMG3 was a trashy person that didn't deserve his affection.

The ground begins cracking beneath them, and SMG3 closes his eyes and begins falling, until he feels SMG4 grab his foot as he hangs upside down. SMG3 looks at the ground below, and sees the familiar sight of Peach's castle falling into the abyss caused by SMG4's "perfect video" craze. He looks up at SMG4, who is holding his foot, while the glowing USB lingered on SMG4's shoe. SMG4 glares at SMG3 bitterly.

"If I had to do it all over again... I would pick the USB every time."

SMG3 feels his foot slowly slipping out of SMG4's clutches. He begins hyperventilating and panicking, but not a single word comes out of his mouth.

SMG4 slowly and purposefully loses his grip on SMG3, and as soon as SMG3 feels his body drop as SMG4 lets go of his foot, he feels himself plummet onto his mattress.

SMG3 gasps as he sits upright in his bed. It was all a dream. It was the middle of the night, and he was in his bedroom, the secret lair in his cafe. The room was dark.

He begins trying to control his breathing, slowing it down to a more realistic pace. It was all just a dream... Just a nightmare...

He glances over to the other side of his best and sees Eggdog sleeping peacefully. He smiles and gives Eggdog a few scratches on his head.

SMG3 decides to go outside and clear his head. Touching some grass wouldn't hurt.

---

SMG3 steps outside of III's Coffee and Bombs cafe and onto the showgrounds, lit by moonlight.

He looks around at the grass and sees familiar tiny blue flowers around, almost identical to the one he had in his dream.

SMG3 sighs and shakes his head. Merely a coincidence. Pay no mind to it.

SMG3 turns his head and stops when he sees SMG4, working hard on the attraction he's planning on making for the showgrounds, which he hasn't revealed to anybody at all what it is yet.

God dammit, why is he out here... I came out here so I could avoid thinking about him...

SMG4 is working hard with constructing the attraction single-handedly, until he pauses and sees SMG3 looking up at him confusedly. SMG4 grins excitedly and waves at SMG3, excited to see a familiar face at this hour.

SMG3 blinks when he realizes SMG4 was waving to him. He awkwardly waves back, as SMG4 jumps down to greet him.

"Hey, SMG3! What brings you out here so late?"

"Hey, man... I could say the same to you. Why are you working on that thing so late at night?"

"Oh, well, I'm really excited to work on it! Couldn't sleep. Sudden bursts of motivation at midnight, amirite?" He chuckles.

"...Yeahhhh."

"Anyway, why are you out here, Three? ...Did you want to help?" SMG4 grins at him excitedly.

SMG3 looks at the ground, tired, but still a little antsy from the dream he had.

"No... I just... had a shitty dream. It really messed me up. I had come out here to clear my head. ...Little did I know you'd be out here."

SMG4's smile fades from his face as he realizes something's up with SMG3. He steps closer and reaches a hand out at him, as if hoping to comfort him and hold him, but immediately decides against it and recoils his arm. SMG3 does not notice.

"Oh... I'm sorry, man. I hope you're doing okay."

SMG3 looks up at him, and smiles with a sad look in his eyes, and looks at the ground again.

"...I'm fine."

SMG4 frowns, being able to tell that he isn't at all fine.

"Are you s-"

"Would you do it again?!" SMG3 says with urgency in his voice, a distressed expression on his face.

SMG4 blinks for a moment. He looks at SMG3 confused.

"...Pardon?"

SMG3 realizes his sentence didn't make sense, so he slows down and breaks down the sentence to be easier to understand.

"...What I meant was... if you had to relive... the perfect video craze... would you pick me over the USB again?"

SMG4 blinks, and realizes what he means.

"Ohhh... well, yeah, of course. Every time."

SMG3 looks at him and blinks in disbelief.

"...No hesitation? Not even thinking about it? You serious?"

SMG4 nods as if this were a stupid question.

"I mean, yeah, obviously. I would always pick you. I'm not even sure why I was hesitating when I had to pick the first time."

SMG3's eyes widen and start to sparkle. Was SMG4 being for real...?

"Why? Why do you prefer me over the perfect video? Aren't I a... a thorn in your side?"

SMG4 chuckles and nudges his shoulder.

"You can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I wouldn't trade you for anything. We're friends, right? You said it yourself."

SMG3 feels his cheeks grow warmer. He feels stunned, but he eventually relaxes his tensions and smiles a soft smile at SMG4. SMG4 actually does care about me...

SMG4 notices the blush on his cheeks and smiles to himself, a tinge of blush appearing on his cheeks as well.

SMG3 realizes they had been smiling at each other in silence for about 15 seconds, and so he breaks the silence, blushing slightly harder.

"T-Thank you... that actually helped me feel so much better."

SMG4 smiles in return.

"Hey, no problem. You're an absolute delight, Three."

SMG3 blushes lightly at his words, and smiles to himself.

SMG4 glances at the ground and sees several tiny blue flowers in the grass. He smiles to himself and walks over and picks three of those little flowers and holds them in a tiny bouquet, before handing them to SMG3. SMG3's face turns bright red as he holds the three tiny flowers in a tiny bouquet in his hand.

"I... um... what... huh..."

"I'm gonna continue working on the attraction now. See you in the morning, Three!"

With that, SMG4 turns around and begins heading back over to the attraction-in-progress. SMG3 blushes as he holds the three flowers, three of the same kind he wanted to give SMG4 in his dream. He looks at the flowers, then looks back up at SMG4. He quickly picks four more tiny flowers out of the grass and runs up to SMG4.

"SMG4!"

SMG4 turns around as he hears SMG3 call his name and run toward him. SMG3 quickly shoves the four freshly picked tiny blue flowers at SMG4, while holding the three that were picked for him in his other hand.

SMG4 blushes and smiles as he takes the tiny bouquet of four blue flowers in his hand.

"Aw... thanks Three-"

"YEAH YEAH, WHATEVER, GOODNIGHT SCRUB!"

SMG3 blushes madly as he sprints away from SMG4 and back into his cafe.

SMG4 stares after him in confusion as he runs away, but smiles at the fact SMG3 gave him flowers in return. He sticks the flowers into his hair, two behind each ear, then continues working on the attraction.

--

SMG3 slams the door behind him in his bedroom/lair and breathes heavily.

Holy shit I just did that... Holy shit I just did that!

He internally high fives himself, so proud of the fact he successfully gave SMG4 flowers. ...Maybe it wasn't a confession, like he hoped to do, but it was a start! Better than nothing!

He stares at the three blue flowers SMG4 gave him and smiles warmly. He finds a tiny vase on a shelf and goes to the bathroom sink to fill it with water, and sticks the three flowers inside of it and puts it on his dresser, right near his bed.

SMG4 is nothing like that dream version... no... he is nothing like what my anxiety is fearing. Maybe he doesn't like me like that at the moment... but for right now... this is so much better than him hating me.

He crawls back into bed, being careful not to wake Eggdog, and goes back to sleep cheerfully.

[shadowreader23]

Batfam prank fic (part 1)

Dick laughed as he  finished changing the color of the suit so it was Illuminous pink , and started adding glitter onto the suit as well. 5 minuotes later Dick stepped back seemingly pleased with his masterpeice clapped his hands together. And smirked.

"Time to get this show on the road." He thought to himself as Tim entered the cave

"Road work ahead?"  Tim quipped

Dick beemed in response it was common knowledge he was obsessed with memes and vines at this point,.

"Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!" He responded. He had tried to grow closer to Tim latley and it seemd to be working.

Tim looked at the batsuit now pink and sparkly and laughed for a moment, before clearing his throat.

"Why is the batsuit pink?" He asked

Dick grinned in response. Bruce has been even more of a downer latley and its annoying so im trying to liven thing up around here.

"Please tell me thats all you did" Tim said

"Nope!" Dick responded popping the P

"Your not going to tell me what else you did are you?" Tim asked

"No youll see later byt please don't tell bruce"

"Dont worry i wont but honestly this is a pretty boring prank" Tim jnformed his brother

"I'd like to see you do better!" Fick responded Tim relied on caffine for everything and was always tired there was no way he could sucessfuly prank anyone especially Bruce

"Your on!" Tim replied

"May the best brother win" Damien responded from his perch atop the rafter

"When did you get up there!" Dick exclaimed

"I need more caffine to deal with this" Tim groaned and went to make himself a coffee.

Dick hadnt no idea the chaos this would lead to.

Several hours later Bruce came down to the cave with Alfred and Barbara. She was visiting the Manor and bruce had offered her the use of the Batcomputer while the clocktower underwebt repairs.

The lights turned on as they entered the cave and they were all looking at a bright pink sparkly batsuit.

Alfred managed to keep a straight face while Barbara burst into a fit of laughter seing the terrifying batsuit covered in pink and glitter looked so ridiculous. She couldnt help herself. Bruces eye twiched he had a leauge meeting after this and currently no spare suita he had a spare cowl but that woud not help much. Reliuctantly he put on the suit and swapped out the cowl for the spare. He looked ridiculous. Dick watched cakling as Bruce left for his leauge meeting.

"Hey batman thats an uh intresting look you got going on there" flash said

Bruce gave him the most terrifying batglare he ever recieved and flash sped away.

Bstman made his way into the meeting room where Green Lantern burst into laughter

"Not a word" he said in his most threstning voice but he sounded like....Stitch...

"NIGHTWING!" He cursed

"Something tells me i should probably avoid the manor for a few days" Dick informed Alfred

"Master Richard i thought you had outgrown this phase" Alfred sighed remembering the last time a prank war had unflolded in the manor.

"On no Alfie this is just the begining" Dick smirked.

_____

Should i make more parts?

[tacagen]

rating thawne's deaths on a 10 point scale

snapped neck: 6/10. ok. not good, not bad, well-deserved, timeless, impactful. i love the way thawne is still complaining about that one though.

flashpoint: 9/10. imagine becoming a living paradox and proceeding to rant about how your speedster nemesis cant hurt you now (very normal way to put it btw.) only to be pierced by a fucking sword. dumb and classic, all good here.

the button: 100/10 THE DUMBEST DEATH OF THEM ALL AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. also a classic, imagine being told multiple times that youre going to die and fucking carry on like youre the Smartest here and nothing could ever happen to you and actually ima adopt you barry. thawne's character at its finest.

running scared: 8/10. not bad. ironic last words and 'on my life i swear' about the promise he intended to break all along. once again, dead because he couldnt shut the fuck up and look around him. iris, my beautiful tired of thawne's shit queen, I STAN.

the flash cw season 1: 5/10. dont remember it much asides from being totally pointless as it has 0 effect on thawne's existence further and our beloved Genius of Time Travel, who can Calculate Every Single Timeline Consequence To His Actions revealing his fucking name to his ancestor and bullying him into murder by suicide.

legends of tomorrow season 2: 10/10. love this one. top 10 reverse-flash moments. my dude got together like 15 other versions of himself for each to do practically fucking nothing other than to group pose and die. an honorable mention: poor black flash who got called a monster just for trying to do his timeline protection job and who endured all of thawne's shit only for it to turn out completely pointless as well. then again if you think about it, everything that happens in cw is pointless.

the flash cw season 6: 2/10. does that even count as a death. makes zero fucking sense. 2 points only for thawne being a total loser and resembling negaduck's 'crisis on infinite darkwings' death.

suicude squad: hell to pay: 10/10. i gave this 10 points already just for his last words 'fuck my life'. again, DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHICH GETS HIM KILLED. thawne believing in the afterlife in the first place feels out of character to me though.

finish line: 0/10. it was very hard to waste a character like that without even realizing it AFTER WRITING HIM WITH SUCH A DEEP UNDERSTANDING BEFORE but you've done it, williamson ⭐

legends of tomorrow season 7: 7/10. very balanced death, little bit of thawne having zero fucking braincells, little bit of meaning. not even complaining about the concept, silly little domesticated rat doing his silly little job of preserving the timeline. i approve.

jurassic league: 10/10. first i suggest we just stop and think for a moment about the fact that we got a DINOSAUR THAWNE in a list of deaths. second THIS PREHISTORIC DUMPLING GOT FUCKING EATEN. third insert an extinction pun. perfect understanding of thawne being a fucking joke of a character and meme potential.

flashpoint beyond: 12/10. did NOTHING in the plot. meant NOTHING for the plot. just spawned as a corpse and looked pretty in the morgue (10 points already purely for The Page) and i respect that. 1 more point for the button encore and another to martha wayne. thank you for your service queen, we'll never forget your impact on this one.

knight terrors: the flash: 8/10. this mf lasted exactly 3 pages. neat but a bit sad if you think about it. not only got killed unprovokedly but his precious museum he just tried to protect got damaged as well. didnt even get to finish neither the tour or his point about barry not being able to wake up (again, only tried to help in a way by that?). also i like the way he's once again a creation of barry's subconsciousness acting suspiciously fruity.

[disaster-fruit]

For the Fanfic Writer Ask Meme: A, M, U

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Obviously the arranged marriage AU, which is unfair answer because its the one that isnt published and also not even finished since i decided to rewrite some parts. But it is what it is, i could tell from the moment i finished the first draft that it was something really special and a level above my other stuff. I'm not sure i can put my finger on exactly why, it has a lot of emotion but its still self-indulgent and sex and messy like my other stuff, its not particularly serious or high-brow. But still i think its better, and i tried to think of a fic to say here that was published but none really seem to be a worthy comparison. All i wanted when i finished it at the time was to write more and see if i could keep that level up

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with? Did it turn into a story?

Though one, i have so many aus in my mind i dont keep track with most of them. I'd say the weirdest kinky ones i have never became stories, nope. And i felt they were all a bit too much for the fandom, that tends to skew 'fluffy' and 'simple' and it was kinda hard to find motivation for my more out-there ideas when i knew wouldn't be anyone's cup of tea. I make aus for myself but when i wrote i wanted to share, so if there was no one to read i saw no reason to not just keep daydreaming about it for zero effort.

But not keep it too vague, the least weird one i had was an among us au…. yes. But going for the space-horror route and mosterfuck shenanigans. The other ones need too many words to explain so you'll have to die wondering.

As for non-kinky im sure i'm simply not remembering weirder ones. But one recent i had was when i came up with an entire plot for an addams family au fic and i was like………. yep they're not ready for it, scrap it. Keep it in the cozy corner of my mind.

U: Is there a pairing you would like to write, but haven’t tried yet.

Hmmm not really? For me to write i needed to be high-key OBSESSED otherwise i wouldn't even have scenarios to try. And it needs to be a long-ish term obsession, which i also havent gotten in a while. But to not leave this blank i think the closest i got to this in my memory was when i was in the capri fandom i wanted to write something for Jord/Aimeiric because i couldnt stand the slander they got in the fandom (everyone wanting to pair jord in the background of fics (not even jord-centric fics just yk lamen fic where he was just stadning there) with men he didnt even interact with even in aus where aimeric was aliveeeeeee PISSED ME OFF) and i wanted to do it JUSTICE but i never did and my carpi phase is gone so i can only hope someone after me did the justice eventually

[pwnyta]

Apologies for my mistakes in advance.

Ok, so, I have a question for you.

Some time ago (honestly, it might have been kind of a long time ago) you’ve been talking about Genshin and how you prefer when the mc is not the point of view character but just someone who spectates from afar while other characters living their lives/stories. Tbh I’m not entirely sure that it was the exact thing that you said, but at the very least, that’s how I’ve remembered it xD

(Not trying to put words in your mouth btw, again, that’s just how I’ve remembered it)

So, my question is: do you not like MCs, like, in general? Like I know that it’s a strange question and that mc from Genshin feels more like a self-insert (I think they get better as the time goes on, maybe they’ll be their own characters by the end of the game lol), so it’s strange to question whether or not you like MCs just based on this one answer, but I was wondering about it so I decided to ask.

I’m not gonna lie, I am (kind of) a main character truther, they usually end up being my favorite characters, and if I don’t like mc, then I usually drop the work as a whole (because I don’t want to consume something that’s going to anger/annoy me, and bc MCs are usually a huge part of the story, I would rather just not interact with the story as a whole. Kind of unrelated, but my hatred for Bak*go forced me to drop mha bc he started to gain more and more screen time, and even though he is not THE main character, I still think that’s a good example).

Like. I hope you don’t think that I’m looking for troubles or anything, but as a person who likes MCs and as someone who would rather drop the work if I can’t emphasize with them/don’t like them/feel like they are NOT treated or behave like main characters, I’m just interested in the perspective of someone who doesn’t care for those characters/don’t like them in general.

Sorry if my message was confusing, I hope you got my point.

Well honestly I do tend to find MCs significantly less interesting than other characters. MCs tend to be the most generic character so that people can relate to them… thats just not how I read stories so it does nothing for me.

Like Naruto (& honestly the rest of his team) I found him (them) largely annoying and was always more interested in the stories of other characters with weirder powers (like Shino) & because I like more minor characters I Guess Im just more tolerable of their absence so long as the story is fun (Shino was probably THE most neglected of class but I stuck through Naruto until it wasnt fun anymore.)

But yeah especially in something like Genshin where Aether/Lumine are both the MC… and nothing really changes based on the character you pick... they arent a real character and what they do doesnt really matter because its just a stand in.

Like if you made QIQI the main character things would inherently change because she is her own character and the world would have to change based on what she might do. Her options to choose would be SO much different since shes a child and a zombie and w/e the world couldnt possibly be the same…. or CYNO would be interesting because hes got such a different temperament and also struggles with discrimination from being a desert dweller so there would even be more resistance... Hes basically got 2 personalities the quiet professional who keeps his head down and the goofy little meme boy who likes puns and YGO thats closer to who he really is and only shows to his friends (who hate it… OMG WINDBLUME IM STILL DEVASTATED LEARNING CYNO IS QUITE WHILE WORKING BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE RACIST AND HE ONLY JOKES WITH HIS FRIENDS BUT HIS FRIENDS ARE ACTIVELY ANNOYED BY IT AND DONT WANT TO HEAR IT…. IM SICK. …anyway.)

You can interchange Lumine and Aether and nothing changes because theyre not a real characters with their own personality so I just cant give a shit about them. The only thing that makes them tolerable is that its pretty clear Aether is supposed to be the main character canonically.

That said I wouldnt completely dismiss an MC just for being an MC…. some are interesting or serviceable enough to be somewhat likable. I love Luffy from One Piece, I like Tsuna from KHR and I did like Deku from MHA at first though recently he just feels like he doesnt matter at all (which normally I wouldnt mind since I usually prefer side characters stories but cutting screen time of Deku and focusing on characters who genuinely dont fucking matter or are terribly written like Endeavor or the side villains whos stories are forced and/or dont fucking MEAN anything… its frustrating. As much as I cant STAND Bakugo I actually wouldnt mind him having more screen time because he IS important to the story (or should be)… same with Todoroki but Bakugo is just a FLACCID and stagnant character and Todo was fucking wasted as Hori somehow thought itd be a better idea to build his abusive POS father without him present… DONT UNZIP ME NONNY. IM SO MAD…).

UM…. yeah. I didnt take offense or anything to the question… I actually love having an excuse to bitch about silly shit like this. Fandom discourse used to be one of my favorite pastimes before people started pretending it was serious business because theyre too lazy to do any actual social justice.

[mr-walkingrainbow]

WIP Meme

Tagged by @pepa-madrigal

RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Hehehe my Wips (Top ones are most likely to be finished)

Agony of a Bitch (The owl house)

Putting the T in Mommy issues (911 lone star)

Got a Secret, Can you keep it (Encanto)

Down for the count, but not out just yet. (911 Lone star)

When the skies are cloudy, I’ll tuck you away in the safe space of my arms. (Encanto)

To hide from the world (Encanto)

A person only runs because they have something to run from. (Marvels Eternals)

A sniffle is all it takes. (Pffft my British Baking competition fic)

You can’t trust anyone, and yet you have to trust someone. (👀 not me writing Survivor NSFW)

Buzzcut Season (Ahhh we getting into my Charmed Reboot fics)

Funny in the Head, Funny don’t you think? (Ooo back to the owl house, with a passion fueled fic on how Lilith Regresses)

Athena Angst (if I ever get to it). (Damn not my IMMORTALS FENYX RISING FIC!)

Kisses and Red Poppies (Not my Charmed Reboot collab with my bestie Jordy 😭. Bestie remember this?)

The future, am I right? (Another Charmed Reboot fic featuring me and Jordy as Abimels kids)

Owl House Daycare (NOO! Not my Owl house fic where some bootifull human gave me a bunch of head-canons for if Lilith and Eda got turned into kids and Luz had to take care of them 🥺. I wish I remember their username)

Sleep Mi Amor, Sleep. (Yet another Charmed Reboot fic. Damn I was like, 14,000 words in too)

Riptide. (Full on sobbing,  this was that Nancy Drew fic I got inspiration for randomly by seeing Bess and Odette 🥺)

Luciana, Luci. (From Fear the Walking dead. Gosh it had such potential)

A Nicolina fic (not my deadbeat old Marvels Runaways fic!)

The Greatest Oddities (Oh hey! My Greatest Showman fic!)

… damn. That was a lot.

i swear their should be more, probably didnt search hard enough.

ANYWHOOOOO! Please be a sweetie angel and comment a title! id appreciate it if my abandoned fics got the chance to see the light of day!

Henceforth, im tagging @magicman-mephistopheles , @justalittlewritingnerd , @animerunner , @rubybun , @hyxperfixations

@pepa-brainrot , @beanzykin , @strawberriesinmoominvalley , @transmazikeen , @welcometocaritas , @purple-nugget @ literally anyone else i couldnt remember for the life of me

[candycorncandle]

Love Letter to my Friends

Tw- life stuff? Not suicide but like depressiony shit

I've not been on here and that's not okay and it is. Its not okay in the way that I miss yall and miss talking to you and sending memes. But I've also been v busy. Read this, don't but either way.

Do you ever get think about the friends you've made online and how some of them you'll never meet or see again because they have gone inactive and it scares the living shit out of me. I may have never met yall but you guys are my friends and it fucking pains me that I'll never be able to show up on ur doorsteps with McDonald's and watch a movie or like even put flowers on ur hair when we go on walks or shit.

Timeline-

May 15th- last day at my favorite job. We all, there was about 75 of us. We all had made big plans to move to that city and were getting cars and drivers licenses in order to get to said job. We found out two weeks before that my company at that time had lost the contract. I was a cook in a college building cooking for students in a 50s themed diner. It had multiple restaurants in the same building so I was one of the ones they crosstrained so I was in about every one of the 8 concepts they had. I loved it. No cap on overtime, I was treated good. The university kicked us out because the contract price was too expensive and they found a cheaper competitor. I was one of the last 4 people to leave the building that day, I walked out with four of my friends (technically bf too)

May 15 to June 1st- didn't have a job lined up. Losing the jobs threw everyone off. Word cam in that a close university also run by my company could take us in. Fine. It was an hour and a half away. So,, being from the same small ass town my and my bf decided to move for that job at the new college.

New college was opening a jersey mikes. It's a sub sandwich shop. They take three of us from the first college job and send us through manager training at a training store. Also sends an employee from the new college.

We didn't last two weeks before we all walked out. Shitty management, forced customer interaction (which, is what food service is but this took it to a whole new level), the place was disgusting. The employees at the jm were doing crack and shots in the back because they ALL are dead inside and I firmly believe that jm caused a good portion of that.

July 10- was my last day of jm i couldnt take it anymore. I had multiple breakdowns and had one as a clocked out for the last time. I remember just turning to go hop back on the sandwich making station and this sense of dread just filled me and I knew I could not stay there.

I was the second on out. My bf lasted for four more weeks after I quit. My work bestie lasted through training but left two days ago. The manager over all of us quit last week because the stress from this deal put him in the hospital.

And the fuck of it all was,, a higher up in the company made a shady deal with the jm owner for that region and that's why we weren't pulled. Another coworker had walked out the first week and that's when the very high ups said pull them jersey mikes is done at this place. But then the deal guy said no, I don't care if it kills you you are my employees, you do what I say.

July 24th- when is started my current job. I work as a cook at a golf course. I like it. It's nice and isn't like super fast paced like the first college job was.

August 1st- moved to the big city. Starts with a C in a Midwest state I'll let you guess there's not many. Live my new apartment and get started on a new antidepressant because my previous one had stopped working during jersey mikes training.

August 7th - 23rd, had about 10 interviews because I was not sure about the golf job.

August 26th - Sep 11th, my cat was in the vet hospital. Took them some time to figure out what was wrong but he has feline ibs and is allergic to protien. His bilirubin was 11, it's supposed to be 0.5. He was looking scraggly but he's doing so much better now.

He was so yellow. He's not now but he has earned the nickname highlighter boy. He's doing better now and has to be tube fed for another week or so but he's better.

September 7th- goes back to my first college job now that another company has taken it over. My entire crew is back as well.

September 9th- quits my old/new job because I can't make the drive anymore. It's exactly what I was doing from Indiana to the place, just now I'm in another state. It sucked so much because my crew was back and we all worked so well together.

Now- Happy with my job. They are firing this one worst worker there. Since it's a small kitchen there's only 4 cooks and she's a bitch. The worst. She's going to be gone soon so that is super great. As of right now I'm printing off some planner pages that I'm going to laminate and hopefully that will help me get my life in order.

My bf quit vaping, his dog is getting neutered sometime soon and that's good bc the dog does NOT have manners. Theres no overtime at my job now so it's let me have more at home time which is something I did not take for the past year since I always had overtime opportunities. I like decorating my apartment and cooking. I'm cooking more now! Im so happy for myself, as it's something I haven't done for a very long time due to the spicy sadnesses.

I'm going to pharmacy tech school starting this November. I'm excited to learn about that because I've known for awhile I've needed to get out of food before it breaks my body down.

Thank you for reading this I love you all.

-Gosh DAMG IT. I had more paragraphs here but tumblr is stupid and deleted them let's see if I'll rewrite them bc I'm not going to tonight I've been here at the printer for 3 hours now.

@slothspaghettiwrites @tiredmoonlight @bitchassbucky @ghostydeans @littlelioncub43 @loki-hargreeves @kim-monsterlings @munsonsmuse @earth2bucky

[disasterghaster-moved]

JUMPS in on this screw anon; while my memory is eh on details, I do know that you and I have rp'ed on and off for ?? likely almost a decade now. I think I just, came across the hinabn and stuck around with the group early on, and when I got this rendition of enya going. many a thing happened, but I know some of the quieter threads we had were instrumental in helping me really develop enya better. I was younger, throwing out whatever came to mind without much care for the details. but when I came up against you, the care you put into your threads and words, however small; I know I was nervous early on. lot of "man I wish I could write like that" thoughts! I dont think I managed to ever match you, but you always seemed to care about every thread it really encouraged me to keep trying, even when I felt like I wasnt good enough - I could try and learn from reading your half.

I will admit that, after one of my earlier gaps, I shied away from re-interacting - not because of you specifically, more so I didnt want to fall back into old habits in general, thinking that avoiding old rp groups might help.

I remember a bit later on, I refollowed without saying anything, then unfollowed again. my reasoning was I couldnt think a way to interact, and because you rp with such a solid group that has such an incredibly well-developed setting and rapport, I didnt think I would even be worth the time (and a hint of "I followed u why wont u interact with me" assumption, twas a dumb thought but there nonetheless). but you have always been one of those folk that I know I can still find you down the road; bit of a "oh yeh, I remember interacting with her, I wonder how she's doing" and the writing has always brought me back in. which is also why Im a bit greedy in getting a lil thread going whenever you offer it ehehe <3

and I cant say it enough, your writing is fantastic, even the smaller threads. the way you can capture emotion in words and your use of language in general has always been inspiring to me. its definitely pushed me to do better and to really think about the emotion a character would be feeling and how to get it out without your usual "he was sad" deal. having a character for decades helps, but the way you make something as small as talking about pizza feel real is the big Why for my following.

I know a bit on how you feel, but Ive always had a feeling thats a part of the tumblr experience; people are shy and timid, more so with well-established blogs. I know I follow a few blogs that I dont/cant see a good way for enya to interact with but just love to see their character and read their threads. possibly putting out a "like this to discuss thread ideas" mayhaps might bring some of the quieter followers out, or directly message some that you have a loose concept about. unfortunately, even if we're all a bunch of shy nerds who love writing our characters, we're afraid of rejection. its hard, but sometimes reaching out to them is the only way to break that worry

however, I do think you have such a solid circle that, while it may get difficult finding things to write, its a good base of people that love and support you and will continue to do so however much longer we got in this place <3

this got long and wordy and I apologize!! sdfgh

Ssssso much information and worrrrrddddssss, ya neeRRRRRRRD.

But all points and nice things taken.

I do have to think about how to do 'outreach' a bit more. I've always struggled with just popping into conversations with people I'm not familiar with. Some of that, too, is difficulty with 'small talk' a lot of the time and the social stamina thing--not making excuses so much as explaining why I have a big deficit in that department. I know that could be worked on and maybe there's some work arounds.

Like how I've been trying to post more ask memes and starter memes and stuff.

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Birthday Date Night

Summary: It’s Y/N’s birthday, but Tom faces a slight problem. How does a boyfriend top off an accidental proposal while his girlfriend is working on her birthday...again!

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden?

Masterlist

A/N: Sad to say that Quarantine Series may end real soon with 3 more parts to go 🥺. Also this was inspired by my birthday which just happened fairly recently! Thanks for all the support!!

“Tom, mate. You’re pacing back and forth is making me dizzy.” Harry warned Tom, as he lied down on his bed, laptop in hand.

“Sorry, but I don’t know what to do! Y/N’s birthday is in a few days and I have absolutely no plan.” Tom reasoned as he plops on the couch across from Harry. “I mean I already blew the proposal which was supposed to be her birthday gift, but thats gone to shit.” He mumbled, biting his thumbnail.

“Just be happy she said yes.” Harry chuckled as he recalled the day. “I mean has she given any hints? You know Y/N, if there’s something she really wants, she’ll tell the whole world.”

“I know, but she hasn’t said a word and everytime I do ask her, she says ‘I dont know.’”, Tom groans as he rubs his temples. “I just want to do something really nice for her.”

Harry rolls his eyes as he continues shopping for his gift for Y/N. He and Y/N always loved to share memes and compete in board games, so it was only fair he’d get her an exclusive edition of Exploding Kittens. The one with a hard cover box, that plays mariachi music when you open it up. To be fair, he also really wanted it too, so imagine all the rounds they could play in a single day. “You always say this every year, but ever year you always deliver. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

Tom sits still to ponder on his brother thoughts. “Yeah..Yeah I guess. Maybe I could take her out for a picnic lunch date. I know she’ll love to get out of the house. I’ll ask her to take off on Friday and it’ll be perfect!” He plans excitedly. He stands up, proud of his well thought out plan, already thinking of the perfect place to settle, the blankets to bring, and the smooth moves he’ll plan to swoon her away. It was completely foolproof.

Just two days before, Y/N displays a noticeable frown on her face. Sludging through the house, only made Tom drop his smile twice as fast when he noticed. “Hey, darling is everything all right?” He asked with worry written all over his face. Deep down, Tom prayed, hoping it was just something she liked was sold out or that she found out the ending of Hamiliton or something..anything but...

“My boss needs me to work Friday. Apparently they think it’s a great idea to put me as the President in charge of IT while he’s out.” Y/N says in a disappointing tone. “Im sorry, I know you wanted me to take off and I definitely wanted to for my birthday, but I guess it’s not happening.” Y/N’s heart feels heavy as she sees Tom’s equally disappointed face. “I did ask for Monday off, so whatever it is you planned we can do it then!” She mentioned, trying to cheer him up.

Tom let out a sadden sigh. He knew it wasn’t her fault, but of all days? Right when he was about to leave for Berlin in less than 4 days? Right when he and Y/N could spend another birthday together? At this point Tom felt like a hopeless man, as he stood in front of his girlfriend, who showed remorse and sorrow. Her long hair draped over her shoulders, and lips forming into that adorable pout that he could not resist. It almost made him smile, but only a little. “I know, but its not the same! You’re turning 24 and you have to work? Can’t you make some excuse?” He asks coming closer to her, smiling mischieviously.

Y/N’s brows knit together as she cautiously observes Tom’s behavior. She knew that look, that smile, that little bite lip he was pulling. “Oh no. No. No. No.” she says repeatedly, resisting the charm. “Im not gonna make some excuse.”

Tom comes even closer, his face bending down a little to meet her eye level, smiling as he runs the very tips of fingers on her sides. “C’mon darling, break the rules a little. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” He whispers kissing down her neck. “Please?”

Y/N looks up and away from those deep brown eyes, still resisting. “Tom, you know I can’t, no matter how bad I want to say yes.”

Tom draws a line up to her jawline with the tip of his nose. His breath warm against her soft skin. He hums and smiles, “Is your boss a fan of spiderman? What about his kids? I for sure remember you telling me Zach was a huge fan.”

Y/N laughs as she rolls her eyes, but she found it so endearing. The fact that he even remembered your boss’ kids’ name even though he’s probably caught a glimpse of them once or twice during her zoom meetings. “No. You are most definitely not using your celeb status to get me off from work.”

Tom shrugs his shoulders, as if it weren’t a big deal. He wasn’t one for flaunting his fame, but if it meant he could spend another day with Y/N, he would gladly use it. “Please...” he pleads one more time. “Just wanna spend time with my girl on her special day.”

Y/N thinks about it. She really did want to take off, and Tom’s efforts were quite convincing to say the least. It was only a matter of time before Tom would have to leave for Berlin, and Y/N wanted nothing more than to spend every minute with him. But Y/N also knew that if she didn’t do as she was asked by her company, the higher ups would probably have a bad impression of her or worse...fire her on the spot. Yet she knew her boss was also an understandable and chill guy. It wasn’t like she couldnt take off, just not when he’d be out at the same time, especially when she was asked to be in charge of the entire department.

Then, it hit her. She quickly excused herself out of the room to talk to her boss, and quickly came back to Tom with a smile on her face. Tom loved the way she smiled, and how her one little dimple formed on the right side of her mouth. He knew she was really happy, and he had just an idea of what it was. “You got the day off.” He answered excitedly.

“No.” Y/N responded, “But I did ask for half a day, so I’ll be free after 12.” Y/N continues as she comes closer to Tom, wrapping her hangs around his neck. “Hows that for a compromise? And I’ll do anything you wanna do for the rest of the day.”

“Good because you’re gonna love what I have in store for you.” Tom says, almost ready to brag about his well thought out romantic plan. He was ready to treat her like the queen she was on her birthday. How could anything go wrong?

On that faithful Friday, Tom woke up Y/N to many many birthday kisses. Reciting how beautiful she was, and how he couldn’t wait to celebrate with her. Reluctantly he had to let go, as she padded her way to the bathroom to get ready and head into her makeshift office for the next 5 hours.

Tom was all smiles, excited to take Y/N out. While everything felt like it was going according to plan, his mates had other news. “Ninety percent of thunderstorms?!” Tom exclaimed to his best mates in the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a major storm out there. Probably the worse that London’s had in a while.” Tuwaine informs as he reads the news on his phone.

Tom became a stuttering mess not sure how to justify or ask how that could be possible when it was beautiful this entire week. “But...But...It’s so nice out now!” He says discouraged. “No, this ruins my entire plan.”

“Hey mate, dont be like that. You can still find a way to celebrate it. Maybe you can do something romantic inside?” Harrison offers. Thats when it clicked. Harrison smiles, knowning the answer to Tom’s problem. “Yeah..make a date night here. We can set up the living room to be all fancy like.”

“Yeah! Tuwaine Harrison and I can be your waiters and make your dinner. Then just leave you two alone to do whatever you want you want.” Harry suggests.

“Just please...don’t mess up the couch.” Tuwaine groans, thinking about the potential possibity. “Im getting grossed out just thinking about it.”

Tom looks at his mates, giving thought into the new back up plan. He smiles at the group saying , “Lads, I think we got a new plan.”

Its exactly three in the afternoon when Y/N logs off from her laptop. She looks up at the window to notice how dark and dreary it was outside. Thunder was booming, and rain droplets came down hard, splashing off the window. It was her favorite kind of stay-in weather, but she hoped it didnt interfere with Tom’s plans if they had anything to do with being outside. As she opened the door, Harry and Tuwaine greeted Y/N with their own gifts and hugs. They made sure, she got dressed up, and led her downstairs. “M’Lady, your fiance will be right out.” Harry says in the most posh accent he could muck up.

Y/N rolls her eyes, and the moment she sees Tom walk into the living room, her heart skipped a beat. He dressed up with a bouquet of flowers and balloons in his hand. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” He says. “You look so beautiful.”

Y/N takes the gifts from his hands, placing them on the table. She runs to Tom, kissing him passionately, savoring the sparks that came and left with every push and pull of their soft lips. “You had plans to go outside for my birthday didn’t you?” She teases.

Tom laughs, as he throws his head back. “Yeah...I was planning a picnic and everything, but thats why I made sure Plan B would just be as romantic.” He takes her hand as they sit down at the candlelit table, eating, drinking , and talking away about anything and everything. When it was sometime Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine brought out a cake that Y/N had only been fantasizing and drooling about since May.

“No way! How did you guys order it?! I thought they didn’t do international shipping for Milk Bar!” Y/N exclaimed.

“Actually..they didn’t. But the recipe was online and we made it ourselves, with Sam’s help of course.” Harry answered, as he placed the candles in the center.

Her jaw dropped for a good ten minutes as she looked at the rainbow sprinkled cake, and the fluffy white frosting that sit perfectly in-between the layers. The crumbs on top were surprisingly uniformed and formed a perfect circle border, she was very impressed with them. Harrison lit the candles as all the boys sang along...off key of course with hints of laughter coming off every other note. Tom moved to her side, placing his arm around the back of her chair and leaned in to place a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Make a wish darling.”

Y/N looked up to see her favorite people in the entire world, smiling. “I dont need to. Everything I could possibly want is right here.” Y/N quickly blew the candles out and everyone left with their fair share of the cake. It was just Tom and Y/N left. They quickly changed out of their fancy clothes and back into their sleep wear, ending the night with watching Stardust and cuddles in the dark. Y/N tries to look behind her to see Tom’s face, who in turn looked down at her. She smiled at him whispering, “I love you.”

Tom quickly leaned in to capture her lips before answering, “I love you too. Happy Birthday Y/N.”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @marvelobsessedteenager @viwihere

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest. 

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging.  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.  From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.  She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.  I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora:  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme.  i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton:  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well. 

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction.  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn��t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-31

THE SPOOKTOBER SPOOKD8 IS HERE!  Time to blog it and hope to the lord of bones that it heavily features the 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton!  Continuing from last time.

Will John remember that he should be off protecting the other kids from running off?  Or will he search for Vrissy finally, now that he’s spent a literal DAY staring at his house burning down?

> (==>)

This is the last Blood tie with your childhood and the past you were clinging to like a man-child, finally cut.  Your psyche is no longer allowed to be....

....Housetrapped.

Now get your Breathy ass over to your more adult responsibilities.  Or do something as irresponsible as usual, but more forward focused and thus singularly impressive.

> (==>)

I LITERALLY GASPED

I knew I was a fatally addicted Homestuck fanboy despite the trauma but I didn’t know I was THAT much of a just-over-thirty-year-old fanboy, I literally GASPED out loud.  To finally have the joy and confidence for the future that comes with JOHN and KARKAT together IN PERSON and interacting with a common goal.

What a dramatic, perfect shot.  This IS Karkat right?  That’s what the visuals and my heart and soul said

> (==>)

THEY’RE CLOSE FRIENDS

CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT

KARKAT HAS COME SO FAR

Karkat and John conversations are some of the strongest in Homestuck, I ship them as FRIENDS so hard

It brings to mind something I mentioned in the Breath, Blood, and the Flow of Reality explanation/theorypost, which was holy shit SEVEN YEARS AGO wow

I didn’t always understand the appeal of John as a character, ranking him in the middle of my liked characters list. But after a while, I suddenly noticed how enjoyable he was for the things his conversations did to others, making his pesterlogs some of the most enjoyable to read. I wrote the following two years ago, in a character rankings thread, back when we knew jack shit about the import of classes and roles:

“I didn’t really see why I should think John was such an amazing character until I realized his consistent effect on the other party. He’s goofy and doesn’t really understand anything, but he understands just enough about his friends and others to make cutting, hilarious, almost unintentional insights that can change people for the better, even if he’s off the mark. It’s not what he says himself, but what he brings about in others that makes him so great to read. I mean, if you wall him off from everyone else… he kind of fails.

That’s why I take issue with the complaint of protagonist syndrome, here. John is very little by himself, but enhances all the characters around him immensely. Imagine if John were doomed to stay the least powerful and/or game-advancing of the kids and trolls combined; notice how little that would do to the story, or his beneficial role in it.”

John cut himself off from EVERYONE for YEARS in the Candy timeline.  He tried to be close to people and just ended up distancing himself from it.  He tried to keep himself tied down by his old home and memories of the version of Dad he lost, and all sorts of childish stuff.  But that tie is cut, and the bonds he’s forged need to be grasped to bring him out to exercise his maturity, because Breath is futile without real BLOOD.

> (==>)

Awesome shot.

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

(that was supposed to skip to 2:26 when you click but I couldnt embed it that way -- I haven’t metal geared i just seen clips and super best friends & know some memes)

So many scars.  I used to even ship Jane and Karkat a little so they could just be aghast together at everyone’s shenanigans and level criticism at them together, but to think Jane’s fought and hurt Karkat THIS much...

(And yeah, his blood color is shown through his eyes now at this age, that’s correct.)

> (==>)

Oh my fucking god, going from that to Sprite mode that abruptly.  XD

This is great.

JOHN: karkat? JOHN: what are you doing here? KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

Hah, SO close that Karkat’s immediately critical of NOT being greeted warmly.  :)

JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just... KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME. JOHN: well, yeah. KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT. JOHN: oh all right, fine. JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that. JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

Yeah John, the burning down from a bomb that was meant for you and ALL of your friends’ children is supposed to shatter you out of that illusion.

I’d continue criticizing, but Karkat’s about to do it for me:

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN. KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY. KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION? KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat. JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed. JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.

A BIT DISTRACTED.  You empty-headed irresponsible guardian.

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB??? JOHN: uh. KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!! JOHN: oh right, that. JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe. JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though. KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.

Mhmm.  Many of the characters in Candy AND Meat are currently in a situation where due to either years of unpractice in a worshipful society that discourages it by fueling their insecurities or inability to due to confinement in a years-long space trip has caused them to AVOID using their powers for the main beginning stretch of our new story.  People have complained about them outright “forgetting” to use their powers, and they’re right, to an extent, but it’s story-justified.  They’re almost all physically or psychologically prevented from doing so!  But those walls are coming down, starting now.  They’re going to come back into their own.  And we’re bound to see a LOT MORE of these literal Gods using their abilities to shape the fabric of reality as the story progresses.

JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.

It was all already happening, you just refused TO accept it until now.

JOHN: so... JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball? KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START. KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP. KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT. JOHN: ...right. KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY? KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT? KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT? KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS! KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Wait.  Oh, God.

Someone brought up the possibility that Gamzee might still be revivable by Jane, and I speculated that she’s deliberately CHOOSING not to because she actually doesn’t like him that much or has some semblance of fucking sense left in her.

But what if she PLANNED to have a public funeral for him, and then revive him SOON AFTER to turn him into a Christ-like resurrecting figure?  D:

JOHN: well, when you put it like that... JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh. KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN. KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION. KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.

Pretty much.  Get serious, John, actual people are dying by the--

--oh right, he was like this through the apocalypse and death of everyone on Earth.

I guess this is in character.  Paradox Space made sure to choose someone empty-headed and disconnected from reality enough to withstand this shit easily.  He really is a Breath player.

KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION. KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE. KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.

Excellent, yeah.

JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then. KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.

Yeah, you’re fucking grown up now, John.  Stop thinking of the kids as the ones who have to rise up when the adults aren’t all doomed or dead.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL. JOHN: shit. KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED. JOHN: shiiiiiiiit. KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY! KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO. JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

At least he messed that part up while he was TRYING to watch them, and not when he wandered off and watched his house burn for a whole day instead of protecting the remaining kids.

KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN. KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE. KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Leave it to Karkat to point out the blatant absurdity of Homestuck’s nonsense in any given situation.

JOHN: wait. JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right? KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE. JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment. JOHN: how is that even possible? JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers? JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her. KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.

...Is Karkat going to put two and two together and realize that Vriska must have been intentionally captured of her own free will for some sort of ploy?

KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME. KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR. KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T! KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL. KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES. JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.

Guh.  I guess Karkat is underestimating Vriska a bit or just assuming the worst out of a habit of assuming the worst of everything.  (Or, if he has his suspicions, he’s not telling John.)

KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES, KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT? JOHN: i... hm.

Yeah, use your shoosh-paps from Karkat wisely, John.  You needed them.

JOHN: i don't really know? JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat. JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot... KARKAT: A LOT WHAT? JOHN: a lot funnier. KARKAT: FUNNIER. JOHN: how to put this. JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny! JOHN: but now it's just not the same. JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know. JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something. JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other? JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole. JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it. JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.

Mhmm, Karkat has every reason to be mad.  And everything really, REALLY close to you that you care about is in danger from the very things he’s mad about.  Karkat is RIGHT for once with every angry seemingly-exaggerated-but-not word, and that’s throwing you.

JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful! JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again. JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...

...you think maybe something that happens to be A WAR is actually a big farking deal that you should be serious about??

JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before. JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something. KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. JOHN: oh. okay.

Heheh.

KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN. KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL. KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL. KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.

All Breath and no Blood?  All concept and influence and ephemeral accomplishments and no physical impact or results?

Karkat has been fighting this whole time with physical results in mind.  He NEEDS to tie that ephemeral shit down, and once added to his plan, once Breath sweeps the tide of actual sentiment of people, inspires them, you have an actual victory in reach instead of just more attrition.

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

Really need to dig yourself out more than that, John, yeah.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

(Which is why your plan of attack needs more Breath!)

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE. KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE. JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.

Phew.  Let’s hope he takes Karkat’s gift of a worldbound, arms-in-the-dirt sense of responsibility (Blood) and runs with it.

KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME. KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO. JOHN: wait, hold on. KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.

--is it gonna be a hug?

> (==>)

JOHN.  Put it together.

JOHN: you can't be leaving already. JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!

No, not that!!

...well, yes, I’m all for more of you two talking but.  This ain’t just about you two.

KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS?? KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all. JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*! KARKAT: ABOUT ME? JOHN: yes. KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*? JOHN: about you. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME. JOHN: well... JOHN: you know, how you feel! KARKAT: HOW I FEEL. JOHN: or just... JOHN: argh, i don't know!

This was more of an intervention than a feelings jam, John.  I’m not sure John’s in the condition right now to Breathily inspire Karkat somehow and help his war with an idea and drive he didn’t have before -- like he SHOULD eventually -- but I suppose we’re about to see.

JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other. JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it! KARKAT: LIKE WHAT?? JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything! JOHN: i mean, look at you. JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.

You talked with him plenty while NOT in person, though.

> (==>)

Such MOOD.  What a good image.

JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch. JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands? JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through. JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy? JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal?? JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing! JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?

That’s fair.  And they DO need to talk about it!  But this is sort of like in the Game -- there’s important shit to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it.  You’re going to do a lot of talking, but you won’t be able to do all you want with certain people separated from you by the circumstances of how this war is dividing your responsibilities.

JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you. KARKAT: JOHN. JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave. JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave. KARKAT: JOHN. KARKAT: FUCKING HELL! KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat. JOHN: we need to talk about dave! KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!! KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. JOHN: oh come on. JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?

THIS is fair.  Karkat does need to talk about this with somebody.  Whether John is the right somebody... I guess he is where Dave is concerned.  And he has to talk to Jade eventually, too.

JOHN: i know i am. JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two... JOHN: especially now that he's... JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad. JOHN: all i'm trying to say is... JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them. JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave! JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment. KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.

It’s difficult to live in a Daveless world.

KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE. KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: okay. JOHN: thank you. KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION?? KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.

--it’s not gonna be short, or cut away, is it?  --actually it could just switch to a very sad sunset-like vista of the two sitting there, and one poignant line from him followed by a long, hanging pause.

> (==>)

KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*

A giant expletive isn’t it.

The best sendoff you could give him.

> (==>)

Holy shit.  It really IS a rant!

KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE? KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!! KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!! KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION. KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE! JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING! KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*! KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM. KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!

Okay he dealt with it by keeping his hands in the dirt working on hard-fighting responsibilities, yeah, as a Blood player might.  But the way he’s ranting about it seems a little-

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE?? JOHN: um. KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER! JOHN: (oh shit.)

Oh SHIT

> (==>)

Oh no... oh no, they’re BOTH about to let it out together.

They’re gonna have to cry it out.  Finally, onscreen.  THIS is why they weren’t showing us, why they were saving it.  It felt so awkward at the time but it’s because it has to culminate in these two, some of the closest to Dave since CHILDHOOD, get to show us the effect on everyone in a microcosm.

KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME! KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)

Talk about John’s comment about Karkat’s rants not being hilarious in a situation.  THIS situation really tugs it out of them.  :(

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN? KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE?? KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN. KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHN: (oh my god...)

> (==>)

These visuals are ON POINT.  This entire sequence since Karkat showed up is masterfully done.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL! JOHN: ): KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!! KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS. KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME! KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!! KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!! KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL! KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD. JOHN: ))))): KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY. KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT! KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!! KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!! JOHN: KARKAT!!!!

That last bit with John.  I can HEAR the rawness in his voice as he shouts that last bit... he’s about to burst into tears.  And Karkat is going to have to with him.  And they’ll cry it out together, as they should.

> (==>)

JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much! JOHN: i thought you KNEW! KARKAT: KNEW WHAT??? JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat! JOHN: he's... JOHN: he's dead.

Let’s see it happen.

> (==>)

Just body language, the blow of the words...

JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought... JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already! JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next... JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is. JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back. KARKAT: JOHN: talk to me karkat, please. JOHN: please talk to me karkat. KARKAT: KARKAT: HE...

Jade and Rose were on a different part of this battlefield, they didn’t have the ability, time, and/or heart to break the news--

> (==>)

KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

aaaaAAAA

What a fucking expression, wow.

And what a regret RoboDave has to have for abandoning everyone without so much as a farewell letter.  To think that ditching them like that was IN his Ultimate Soul is going to eat away at him.  He may be linked to all of his self of selves, but he’s still an individual with individual regrets.

This was a damned good update.  See y’all next time.

(It may be the new meds I’m on, but between this and the thorough love I see put into the unofficial archive, I’m suddenly reminded that despite all the drama, I fucking LOVE Homestuck.  Even its current incarnation.)

[trickstercheebs]

fuck we have to CHOOSe one? Uuuuh "✿: feeling so out of it, they need constant attention" AGP sick Gordon and the team? and/or "+: being led back to bed with patient whispers" but they dont have bodies yet, just worry

YOU GOT IT! here we go

He had walked back in and half the team knew something was wrong. He looked flushed as hell despite it being 70 degrees outside..Half the time they tried talking to him he had to be called to attention multiple times, clearly something was wrong.

“Gordon..? Gordon are you okay? What’s wrong you never act like this....hello?”

Tommy was the first to try and get Gordon to explain what was going on, he brushed them off weakly saying he just felt a little light headed...But the way he talked sounded like he barely heard Tommy talking.

Coomer tried next, knowing his usual greeting always got a response, his normal smile fell when Gordon didn’t fully respond for several minutes, even Bubby had finally dropped the snark in favor of seeing what the hell was going on with their Gordon.

“Hey, hey what the fuck is actually going on Gordon...You’ve never acted like this before, are you dying on us or something? You fucking better not or else I’m going to fucking come out there...okay? Just...just dont fucking die on us for real Gordon.”

Gordon by now had slumped back into his chair watching the AI’s frantically figure out what’s wrong, the strongest of them now cracking with worry when their usual antics and nonsense got....nothing back.

“Guys....guys I’m not gonna die okay..? I’m...just a lil sick is all, just a lil fever nothing to worry about. “

“Bullshit bro, that...that doesnt look like a normal fever...Gordon you need to get into bed. Shit’s not good to just stay in the chair for...”

Benry had finally shown his own worry after watching Gordon just....sit there unmoving and staring off into space for a half hour, it wasn’t fun to watch him do that knowing he’s delirious and shit.

“Ben...ry? Shit since when did you become a mother hen..? heheh..I must be out of it then if I have you freaking out at me..”

The others were trying to figure out what to do, how to get Gordon to get better or at least fucking sleep..The fact they lacked bodies made this all entirely and unnecessarily harder to do. Tommy and Coomer combed over wikipedia and any health web pages on how to best combat a cold. Bubby kept on trying to berate and convince Gordon to go to sleep and rest with little to no success.

Benry though was wanting to try some other methods. If Gordon was this fucking out of it...maybe he could try the only method he had available left. 

Giving a quick word to the others on what the fuck was about to go down and getting the “Go ahead we have no fucking other ways.” he slipped into Gordons phone and tested the waters of Gordons mind.

Like Tommy and Coomer, Benry sometimes delved into the deep oceans of knowledge that Wikipedia offered, mostly on some stupid meme shit.. But as of late he had delved into the science of the mind and sleep. Mostly to figure out how he could slip into Gordons mind at night..and maybe how the whole subconscious worked.

He found nothing but stupid ass jargon but some of the things he learned were interesting...Like that at certain stages of delirium and sleep deprivation, the mind enters a sleep like state...or as close to it as possible. 

Benry smiled to himself as he felt himself slide into Gordons mind with practiced ease. The others wouldn’t know what was going on on this side of things...But if it worked like he hoped Gordon would be fine and in bed soon.

“Gordon...hey dumbass look at me for a second.. C’mon sleepy head, lil baby needs to be put down for a nap.”

“B....Benry? Issat you?”

“Yeah? C’mon I need you to get up, take the headphones off bro.”

Gordon blinked owlishly up at the guard now standing above him smiling softly...When did he get here? Was he always here...?

“When’d you get out here dude? ...what the shit’s going on?”

“Don’t worry about it bro, c’mon get up outta the chair, bed’s alot better for baby time naps. I’ll join you even if you want Gordon....”

“...that sounds....actually kinda nice..? alright.”

Benry sighed softly in relief as Gordon pushed himself out of the chair at last, hearing the muted cheers from the rest of the science team as he stumbled towards the bed nearby.

Gordon all but collapsed onto the edge of said bed, and with some more prompting by Benry shuffled under the covers to sleep like a decent human being. Benry himself couldnt do much aside from mime sitting on the edge of the bed and talk to him until sleep finally claimed Gordon at long last a hour later.

The rest of the science team went about their day, checking up on Gordon via phone to see if he was still asleep or feeling at all better.. They didn’t entirely understand where Benry went, Coomer had one idea but that was something to discuss in private with Benry himself.

As for Benry, he stayed hidden in Gordon’s hazy fever dreams to keep him company. With the fever affecting him it made things ten times stranger....Not that he minded, he could gently shift things away from nightmarish topics and have a bit of fun with Gordon, who did not seem to know or mind whatever the hell was going on.

Of course he also indulged in some nonsense of his own at Gordon’s expense, he accompanied him on his feverish adventures and played along with whatever logic Gordon’s brain supplied... and of course using the cover of dreams to kiss and cuddle whenever possible with the poor man.

Several hours later, Benry slipped back into the computer to say Gordon had gone into a dreamless deeper sleep..But now all they had to do was wait and hope in the morning things would be better.

Morning came and went, and later into the afternoon Gordon finally managed to pull himself from sleeps loving embrace with a coughing yawn.

“Gordon?? Gordon you’re alive! Good morning!”

“Hello...Tommy? Tommy what time is it...? Where’s my phone at...”

Fumbling about with a slow groan he dug his phone out of the blanket nest he made in his sleep...When the hell did he get here? Christ he barely remembered yesterday even...it was four in the afternoon...Wow he was out cold for almost a full day.

“Holy fuck I must of been deadass...Sorry guys, I felt like utter shit yesterday, didn’t mean to scare you all if I did, I barely remember being conscious at all.”

“That’s all well and fine Gordon, but you must learn to take better care of yourself! You had us worried it was something much more dire.”

“Sorry Dr. Coomer...and you’re right I should take better care of myself from now on..I had some fucking weird dreams though..”

“Like what Gordon?”

“Well....”

He shifted in bed to get more comfortable, he still felt bad but...least he could talk to the others semi normally now. The dreams he had were strange as hell come to think of it, most of them he couldnt remember for shit aside from a handful.

“I could of sworn at some point Benry was yelling at me to get into bed and stop doing stupid shit...”

“Bro that wasn’t a dream I was yelling at you to take a lil baby nap for like...two hours. You’re a stubborn lil man.”

“No I mean...I mean like actually yelling at me, like face to face physically..”

“Wow bro, you dreamin me up out there with you? Shit sounds gay, if I was really there I’d just throw you into bed instead of just yelling.”

“Dude shut up..I guess I was probably hallucinating while you were all telling me to sleep..”

“That sounds about right, you were very very delirious all day Gordon. I’m glad to see you’re doing a bit better now.”

“Me too Dr. Coomer..I guess I should get some cold medicine now huh?”

“If you fucking dont im blowing your entire savings right here and now.”

“Alright alright jesus Bubby...I’m glad I have all of you to worry over me hahah”

Gordon laughed softly as he finally got out of bed to find his cold meds and get started on getting rid of this cold.

[harperkent]

Time: Saturday, April 25th, 2020, early in the morning

Location: Rooftop

Harper was a morning person. She was the first one to wake up in their room and back at Georgetown with her roommates, she was the first one up. She would roll over, reach for her phone, and see the time staring back at her. 7:00 AM. Then she would do her morning routine and then start her day. But not today, today was different. Because she didn’t have her phone next to her to check the time, only knowing that it was way too early by how dark it still was. But no matter how many times Harper tried to close her eyes, she couldn’t go back to sleep. Too many things were running through her head, ready to jump out and cause her to burst. And she didn’t want to do that, not while Luce, Atty, and now Marlowe were in the room. 

Carefully and quietly as possible, Harper slid down from the top bunk, happy that nothing squeaked too loudly to catch the attention of the others. Once on ground level, she took the time to just stand there and look at her friends. Ever since the incident, Marlowe has decided to stay with them, not wanting to leave Luce’s side. Which was understandable and if it was Grace in that situation, Harper would’ve done the same in a heartbeat. For any of them honestly. It was just that her bond with Grace was deeper than the others. 

Picking up clothes to wear and other items, she got herself ready in the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, she emerged, hair pulled up into a bun and a basic outfit on. There was no need for her to put effort into her appearance, not when it was still dark out and no one to impress. She actually gave up on trying to impress and flex on the Gallagher students, the desire leaving her body once the truth was revealed. 

With her key to get back inside, Harper was careful not to wake her roommates when closing the door. The halls were quiet, as everyone was still sleeping. It was a Saturday morning, she could understand why everyone was clocked out. And not only that, it was too early. It was a miracle that even Harper was up this early and without the need of an alarm clock to get her up at this hour. 

She made her way down the hallway, away from the room that has become her “home” this semester. Though, it sure didn’t feel like it. Not being able to buy decorations for it, lights, or anything because they didn’t have the chance to do so. Then again, they just witnessed a bombing and then were whisked away by Gallagher. So the idea of getting decorations wasn't on anyone's minds, their safety being the number one concern.

The destination in mind was the rooftop, an area that universally everyone went to when they were emotional. It was something about the aesthetic of being on a rooftop to clear your head that meant something to everyone. Some went up there to smoke, others to look at the world below them. For Harper, well, it was to get away and feel like she had some power. Power over Gallagher, to just look down on the school, ya know? That was what she wanted.

What she did realize was how she rarely went to the rooftop when emotional. Not even at Georgetown, her crying destination was always her room. Because it was her safe space and she could freely cry without a bunch of people staring at her. It was difficult during her freshman year as she wasnt close to her roommate at the time. The two girls talked and went to one party together, but they werent close to the point where Harper could freely cry in front of her. It got a bit easier during her sophomore year and by her junior year, she got an apartment with friends and had a room of her own. It was in her room with the door locked that she could sit on her bed, tears rolling down her cheeks, snot that tried to break free, and Frank Ocean playing through her headphones. There was no screaming or noises that left her body, she was silent the entire time. None of her roommates ever aware that she was crying unless they were told.

There was a time that Harper did cry in public while with friends. It was during her sophomore year, finals week of their fall semester. Everyone decided to sit in Starbucks early on a Saturday morning and get work down together. It wasnt a massive group but there were more than four of them that could fit comfortably at a table so they had to do some rearranging. Pushing tables together, making sure everyone had enough space, and that they were ready to go. They could have easily gone to the school's library and done work there but decided against it. Because they wanted to chill in Starbucks. "It's for the aesthetic, Atty," Steph told their friend who brought up the school's library as another option.

The group was calm, working hard on preparing for exams and typing up papers. There were times that they would all break to get on their phones, to scroll through Twitter or to post on Snapchat, some more than others. For Harper, she seemed okay as she laughed with friends and posted on Snapchat. None of them realized either, as they were still feeling each other out as a solid group of friends. It wasnt until three hours in that she closed her textbook in frustration and a single tear gently hit the table with a plop. That was when they realized that she was frustrated and stressed out about her exam. It was Imogen who gently rubbed her back, Marlowe who talked to her calmly, Luce who showed her memes, and Hudson who bought her her favorite frappuccino. Everyone was trying to be there for her, showing that they cared and that they were there for her. It had been a while that she realized that maybe people did love her.

Of course, there were times that she cried over someone and was embarrassed by it. She cried over Michael, a lot this school year. But not as much as the day he broke up with her.

She could tell that something was off about her boyfriend at the time. He seemed distant, his text messages were dry and lackluster, and when they came back for school, it felt like he was avoiding her. The only time he talked to her was about their organization since they were president and vice president. She had a feeling that something bad was going to happen but pushed those thoughts away. Because she was always so pessimistic, thinking of the worst of a situation. Harper always hated that about herself. How she was always so wary of everything and just believer that things were going to go south at any minute. It was just for her relationship, that had been going strong for a year and a few months, that she didnt want to believe was going to end.

Until it did and in the worst way. Just three weeks into school year, Michael showed up to her apartment with a solemn expression and his head lowered. "I'm sorry, Mariah," his voice rang through her ears, as if he was walking beside her at that very moment. "I just can't do this anymore."

What happened next was a blur, as she repressed the memory because of how pathetic she was acting during that time. What she did remember was calling Grace, choking on her words as she asked the other to come to her apartment. And when she did arrive, Harper clung onto her friend, crying into her shoulder as information about the end of her relationship was revealed.

Michael had became someone who she always went to when things went wrong. He was her number one supporter and the person she called when she needed comfort. He would show up to her apartment, pull her into his chest, kiss her forehead, and call her by her middle name. It was something that she only granted him permission to call her, outside of her family. He would always call her that, causing her heart to flutter whenever she heard it. And it was very much appreciated when crying and needed someone to calm her.

Maybe that was why she still went back to him, since Michael knew what to say to keep her calm. His presence and touches were always sought for her, especially when she was drunk and just needed attention. It was only when she woke up the next day, head pounding and in bed with Michael that she realized her mistake.

And while her friends would tell her not to go back to him, Harper couldnt deny how much she wanted him right now. To have him hold her, tell her that it was going to be okay, to call her "Mariah". That was what she needed at this very moment, someone to just stop her and tell her to calm down.

Once on the roof, Harper could see the sun in the distance slowing starting to rise. Okay, that gave her smile explanation on what time it was. She walked over to the edge, looking over once to see people walking. It was the added protection, as President Sutton decided to add more walking around and be on the look out for suspicious people. But how would they know who was suspicious when the person looked, talked, and acted just like them? It was like that with Cecil who was brought in as a mentor, none of them realizing at all about his true intentions.

Looking back up, Harper sat down, staring in the direction of the sunrise. She took in the colors that could be seen, how they were slowly pushing away the darkness, claiming their dominance. She could hear a few bitds chirping, up and ready to get to work. The sounds and looks of nature should have been calming her and give her strength.

But it only made her cry, a soft noise leaving her throat. The tears came down like a waterfall and the snot followed. Emotions about what had been happening hit her like a bulldozer. The thought of almost losing Luce, the truth about Gallagher, the safety of her friends, and the realization of how she ruined the few friendships that she formed here. How she called Grayson pathetic in the library, to seeing Jai cry in the middle of the hallway, to storming away from Caden and not caring to look back at him. Then there was Rafa and Grace, a relationship that she interfered in by calling out Rafa before talking to Grace about the situation. How she could tell how pissed off Rafa was and how Grace began to cry. God, what was wrong with her? Why was she like this?

She thought that after calling them out, that she would feel better. That all of her stress and worries would disappear right after. But it only made her feel worst. She was sure that they saw her some crazy bitch, probably happy that she was out of their lives. Who would want someone who was unstable and had bad anger issues like her as a friend? None of them, hell, not even Michael since he broke up with her.

That made her cry even more and become just a little louder. She needed to leave and go back home. Not to Gerorgetown but back to Washington. To be in the comfort of her childhood house. Sit inside of her room, listening to her uncle talking to friends, and her dad listening to R&B music in the kitchen. To be called Mariah again and told that she was loved. To have her family beside her and to have them hug her tightly. That was what she needed right and what she wanted.

But until then, she could only cry on a rooftop. Where the tears fell down like a waterfall, snot that ran loose like an escaped convict, no Frank Ocean being played, and no one to call her Mariah to keep her calm.

[chocojjk]

Heaven Knows

summary: im not even gonna try, yall know im bad at summaries 

words: 2.7k

a/n: this forreal took me 6 hours i think im burning out ,, also guess what?? its not edited 

you were chilling in your best friends dorm room without him being there, which is honestly just a normal thing

jisung was out with his friends which means he wouldn't be back for a while

apparently they needed to talk to him about something important

“an intervention, they said,” jisung says chuckling

“What would you need an intervention for??”

“I honestly have no clue”

which left you here, all alone, completely bored out of your mind

laying there in his bed scanning his room for something to do when something shiny on top of his desk caught your eye

with the amount of times you've been here before, you have never seen this object

and so your curiosity got the best of you

you walked over and saw that it was a CD, written on it were the words “for you” and a badly drawn heart, the messy handwriting clearly belonging to your best friend

you chuckle at this

you never knew jisung could be this cheesy

turning on his computer, his screensaver, which was a picture of the two of you, lit up the room

you see, you and jisung have been childhood best friends

your parents were best friends which just means that you guys saw each other all the time

but dont get me wrong, they never forced your guys’ friendhsip

the two of you just got along

growing up, you would always be by his side and him yours

you didnt trust anyone as much as you trusted jisung

inputting in the CD, his honey-like voice started filling the air

“hey, its jisung, haha, of course you know that since ive already given this to you”

you let out small chuckle, clearly enjoying how worked up your best friend sounded

you cant help but feel guilty for invading his personal space

but c’mon, it was you and jisung

personal space is a myth when it comes to the both of you

and so you continued to listen

“umm, ive been meaning to tell you this for a while but could never find the words to do so , so uh,, i-i made you a CD with all the songs that makes me think of you”

‘how cute’ you thought to yourself, ignoring the rising jealousy that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach

wait what??

pshh, youre not jealous

why would you be jealous??? he’s just your best friend

‘im just disappointed that he didnt trust me with this,’ you told yourself

yup, thats all, just clear and utter disappointment

jealousy? we dont know her

plus, you had a very loving boyfriend

“ok so this first song is just how i feel whenever we’re together, this is better together by jack johnson”

and as the song filled your ears, you can't help but imagine that this CD was for you

keyword: imagine

jisung has made it very clear that he only saw you as his best friend, heck, maybe even as his sister

you think back to the day where you joked around of a possibility of the two of you

“ji, what if one day you become my boyfriend”

“hahaha y/n, that’s a weird joke”

“why is that so weird??”

“uhm because were just best friends” he replies, stating the obvious

and ever since then you have pushed the thought of you guys as a couple in the back of your head

never allowing your feelings to surface for the boy

your thoughts were interrupted when you heard your best friends sweet voice again

“ok remember when your first boyfriend broke your heart? well this song pretty much sums up how i felt the whole time, and every other time you get in a relationship.”

“I could treat you so much better than them, you know?”

“why can't you see that??? haha,, anyways this is Better by Gabe Bondoc”

damn, whoever this girl was got jisung whipped as fuck

you started wondering who she was and how come jisung never told you about her before

was she part of your friend group? did you know her?

whoever she was, you hoped that she’d wake up soon and realize what a catch your best friend is and that she would have to be the dumbest person alive to not love him back

“okay uhm, were halfway in this playlist now. sometimes i feel like you feel this way too, but i don't know, maybe i'm just being delusional. this is Friends by Ed Sheeran”

okay so clue number 1, this girl is definitely good friends with jisung

what the fuck han jisung

who is she

“if they find out would it all go wrong and heaven knows no one wants it to,”

you dont know why or what happened, but when you heard that line of the song, you cant help but release all the bottled up feelings that youve been hiding

yes, you were in love with your best friend

yes, you got into relationships as a way to get over him

no, it never works

because every time you were left with a broken heart, he was there to piece it all back together

he was there wiping your tears, holding you, singing you cheesy love songs

he was there with his bad jokes that always brings a smile on your face, making you happy, making you whole again

jisung was always there, and you cant escape him

and now as you listen to a playlist not made for you, your heart begins to break

surely if this was for you, he would have given it to you a long time ago

just the mere thought of jisung caring for another girl besides you hurt your heart

you decided that it was time to stop

you scolded yourself for even listening to it in the first place

and so you took the CD out, and put it back where it belong

a couple minutes later, jisung enters his room, seeing your figure seated in front of his computer, your head rested on your hands as your shoulders shook slightly, a sign that you were crying

“hey, are you okay?” he says grabbing your hands, making you look straight into his eyes

“shh it’s okay, im here,” he continues, pulling you into a warm hug

and you can't help but be mad

why the fuck was he being so sweet to you when he’s in love with someone else

han jisung, this is not fair, not fair at all

and then you realized that you were doing the same exact thing

you pushed him away from you, which caused him to stumble back, hitting the desk behind him

“I-i have to go”

“y/n??”

running out of the room, jisung tried to chase after you however,,

“Woah woah woah why are you in such a hurry?”

chan and minho

“I-uh y/n just ran out and i-”

“y/n again?, jisung didnt we just talk about how you should see her less,” minho exclaims

“Yeah, this really isnt healthy for you jisung, you really should stop pining over this girl,” chan continued

“guys, shes my best friend!”

“Ok and she obviously doesnt wanna talk to you if she ran away, dont force yourself in places where you dont belong or youll just get hurt in the end,” the older guys continued

“I-”

“were just looking out for you jisung,” chan finishes

and so with his head drooped down, he made his way back into his room

and then he noticed it,,

the CD

‘fuck fuck fuck’

A million thoughts were racing through jisungs head

he was sure that you've heard it, why else would you react that way when you saw him

god, he should've never made that CD in the first place

was he that much of a coward that he couldnt just tell you he was in love with you in person

and now you know and obviously dont feel the same

‘Great going jisung, you just ruined your relationship with your best friend’

---

its been 3 days and there hasnt been any contact within the both of you

you ended up breaking up with your 4 month long boyfriend

“Its because of jisung huh?”

“i…,”

you racked your brain for a different excuse but then decided to come clean, this boy has always been so sweet to you, the least you could do is be honest with him

“how’d you know?”

“I see the way you look at him y/n, its like youre looking at millions of stars, i always hope you’d learn to look at me that way”

“are you mad?”

he gives you a sad smile, “no.. not at you, i always knew this would happen”

“im really sorry hyunjin”

“Its okay, i wish you and jisung all the happiness in the world”

“thank you,” you reply even though you knew that it wasnt going to happen since he liked someone else 

meanwhile, jisung has locked himself up in his room

he was ashamed of himself for making that playlist

his friends have been asking him to hang out yet all he can do is mope around listening to the stupid songs that he has added and cringing at how dumb his voice recordings sounded

he missed you so much but he was so scared to reach out to you

3 days might not seem like a long time, but with you and jisung, 3 days felt like a whole year

Im not saying that you guys are always glued together, no, thats not the case

But you guys would always text each other

Sending each other memes throughout the day

But now the both of you was just left with silence

It really allowed you both to think

he figured you hated him and never wanted to see him again

So he never expected you to knock on his door

“chan, go away, just leave me here to cry���

“errmm, its not chan”

,,,

,,,

jisungs eyes nearly popped out of his sockets as soon as he heard your voice

and in one quick second he was scrambling to open his door

“you were crying???”

“no”

“whats wrong?”

“nothing, im glad youre here”

“umm, why wouldn't i be?”

“I-i just thought that after the other day, you wouldnt-”

“about that” you say, quickly cutting him off

*gulps*

“can we talk?”

“arent we doing that right now?” jisung jokes but as soon as he saw the nervous expression on your face, he shut his mouth and let you in , closing the door behind him

‘oh god, shes gonna tell me that she never wants to see me ever again’

“im sorry-”

“I didnt mean it-”

“what?”

“what?”

the both of you having confused expressions written on your faces

“You first,” you say

Jisung nervously scratches the back of his head, refusing to meet your gaze

“the - the cd, i,, i didnt mean it” he says but the way he slightly bit his lip afterwards was a clear indication that he was lying

did he forget that he was your best friend? there was really no point in lying to you

however, you just chose to ride along with his little lie

“oh, well then i guess that makes what im about to say easier”

accepting the fact that you were about to break his heart, he nods at you, urging you to go on

“Jisung, im in love with you”

“its okay that you don't like me back, we can still be best friends -- wait...what?” jisung replies quickly, ending his prepared speech

You looked at him, stunned at his sudden confession

“You're in love with me?”

“You like me ??”

damn both of you guys are so dumb i sWEAr

“Well,,,, yeah,,,, didnt you listen to the CD? I literally say your name in it”

(⊙ˍ⊙)

(⊙＿⊙)

(@[]@!!)

“WHEN???”

“After the last song,” he says, like it was the most obvious thing on earth

“I-” you make yourself over to his desk, looking for the CD

as soon as you found it, you plopped it into his computer

“really y/n???? Youre gonna listen to it right in front of me as if i havent been embarrassed enough” he says with a pout

“jisung shuT UP”

you fast forward to the part where you left off of  

“this next song is called Wait for You,, im sure you know this song as we always sing to it toegether, but yeahh ill always be here waiting for the day to come when you finally notice me”

The song begins to play yet you fast forward even more in rapid search of your name

“and, well this brings us to the last song,, god, i really hope you dont hate me right now, if you haven’t guessed by now, im in love with you. I dont know when it started or how it happened, maybe ive been in love with you ever since we were three, i don't know okay. But yeah,,, i fell in love with my best friend, god this is so cliche, but y/n l/n i love you”

you were shocked,,,

but at the same time, you felt like you can finally breathe

he loves you back

Han Jisung fucking loves you back

god reader, if you just stayed and listened until the very end, maybe this au wont be so long my brain cells are disappearing writing this

jisung wasn't making an effort to say something, not even to joke around

he was just sitting on his bed behind you, waiting for you to do something,, anything

we all know by now that he aint going to be the one to make the first move

the last song playing was the only thing that could be heard in the room

until,, you finally turned to face him, wearing the biggest smile on your face

you tackled him unto the bed

“oof”

“you're so annoying,,” you say, hitting him

at this point he has his arms around you as you were sprawled out across his body

“I love you too,” you confess, looking straight in his eyes

jisung doesn't know where he got his newly found courage

But he wasnt complaining as he reached out to your face, finally connecting his lips upon yours

“Ive been wanting to do that for so long”

“Why didnt you?”

“Well, you had a- dklfjasfkasjf,,,,, wait,,,,,, you have a boyfriend???”

And now were back to frantic jisung

“dont worry ji, i broke up with him,” you say a small smile on your lips

“wait, you broke up with him???

are you dumb????

He has like the prettiest face???

And like the nicest lips??

And hes so tall and he can dance so well!!”

“Jisung, if i didnt know any better, i would think you have a crush on him”

“shut up, im just saying,, that man is pReTTY”

“yeah youre right, he has everything i want in a man, maybe i should call him again, tell him i was just kidding about the break up” jisung pouts at this

“uhm, im sorry but you have a boyfriend now so you cant do that”

“oh really?”

“yep”

“who is he ??”

“y/nnn,,” jisung whines

“what?”

“will you be my girlfriend???”

“as long as you make me more CD’s” you say teasingly

“oh shut up”

1 year later

you and jisung are still going as strong as ever, and it was great

it was like you guys were always meant to be together, your relationship being the perfect balance of best friends and lovers 

as you were cleaning out your bedroom, you spotted the CD, still looking as shiny as ever, in between a couple of your books, and you cant help but smile at the memory

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt notice your boyfriend enter your room

“babe whats that?”

“oh nothing, just a certain CD that this overly romantic boy made me,”

“oh god, youre never gonna let that go huh”

“I just didnt know you could be THIS cheesy, like you really were symping over me” you say

the CD became an inside joke between the two of you,,,

you would always tease jisung about how cliche it was

“I still cant believe you didnt listen until the end, like what kind of dumbass just starts a playlist and doesnt even listen to the whole thing”

“hey!, youre the one in love with me, so guess whos the bigger dumbass”

a/n: oops another one but the last song is called Best Friend by Jason Chen hehe

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)