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irenemarkone · 4 years ago

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So yeah uh I can't explain myself

Part One of the ~6,000 word fic I wrote solely on a plot bunny I got at 2 a.m.

The Delta Quadrant finally breaks Captain Janeway, and Q arrives entirely too late.

TW: sewerslidal thoughts

Goddess of Good Fortune pt. 1

Voyager had been floating dead in space for days now. Janeway was reading through sensor logs in her ready room when whoever it was had attacked; an explosion rendered the bridge inhospitable, trapping her inside.

She couldn't reach anyone. The comm system wasn't down, there was simply no one to reach. She remained unshakable for the first day, trying everything she could, but there was nothing she could do without the rest of Voyager.

The second day, she broke down, sobbing as she slapped her comm badge for what felt like the thousandth time, asking for somebody, anybody to answer. She was furious at herself, at fate, and she began throwing everything that wasn't attached to the deck. She quickly scolded herself for acting like a foolish child, and cried some more.

The third day, environmental controls began to lose power. She tried asking the computer what was going on, but she was answered with a slow chime before the lights went out. Oxygen levels slowly began to drop, and before long she sat on the floor with her legs curled up under her. Her breaths came heavily and she dozed off after a few hours.

She woke up on the fourth day to the sound of a familiar voice.

"Kathy…"

She opened her eyes sluggishly and saw Q standing by her desk, wearing his usual Starfleet attire and an unusually grim expression. She muttered weakly through gritted teeth, "What the hell do you want."

He met her gaze and said, with something almost like remorse, "I knew you were in a bit of trouble, I thought you'd be able to handle it, but something went… wrong." He stepped towards her and said, "Horribly wrong…"

She moved to try and stand, grunting softly as her legs buckled underneath her. She was exhausted, but in a flash of light, he was there beside her, helping her to her feet. She grimaced and shoved him away weakly, bracing herself on the edge of the desk and saying, "Then why didn't you do something. Why didn't you… blink the other ship away or send them into the abyss-" her voice rose angrily, "-why didn't you do something Q! My crew is gone! My ship is in ruins! They're all dead! Every single one! Kim, Paris, Tuvok, Wildman, Torres, Chakotay-"

Her voice broke and she looked away, blinking back angry tears and taking in a raspy breath. The Continuum had forbidden him from aiding Voyager, she knew that; he knew that she knew that, but for once, he could almost understand.

It was almost a minute of dreadful, pointed silence before she whispered, "Go away."

He hesitated before reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, but as soon as he touched her, she slapped his hand away, yelling hoarsely, "Go away, Q! Go away! For once in your infuriating existence, go away and leave me be!"

Her slap didn't physically hurt him- he doubted anything outside Q weapons ever could -but seeing her like this was the closest anything had ever gotten.

For the first few seconds, she tried to regain her composure, tucking various stray locks of hair behind her ears and standing upright while turning away from him. It didn't last long.

It started with her breaths beginning to shudder, and her hand quickly went to brace against her desk. She straightened her back and squared her shoulders, but it was to no avail. Her knees buckled once more and she held a hand over her mouth, sobbing openly and almost folding in on herself.

He knelt beside her and slowly placed a hand on her shoulder, his heart(?) nearly shattering as she flinched at his touch.

"I could take you home. If that would help." He knew it wouldn't.

Her answer was almost inaudible, but for once in his life(?), he regretted the fact that he could hear her voice flawlessly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He moved in front of her. She looked up from the carpet, and he almost hoped she would glare at him (punch him, scream at him, anything to let him know there was some fight left), but her bottom lip quivered and her head fell forward to rest on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her and he kissed the top of her head, stroking her back and her shoulders as he whispered sweet nothings into her hair.

He took them away from Voyager, leaving the broken ship to drift aimlessly in space. With a thought, they were in the Continuum, but not in any form she'd seen before. The dirt road was dreadful, and the memories of almost being executed in the Civil War reenactment still made him grimace, so instead he took her to a 20th century suburban home.

The small house was decorated with all manner of knickknacks and embroidery projects (and some of the most hideous wallpaper he'd ever seen), and there was plastic on the furniture for god's sake, but there was something oddly comforting about it all, so he let it be.

She was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and he decided that what she needed the most was sleep.

In normal circumstances, where she would banter with him and he could charm her all he wanted, he would have changed her clothes by hand, but this was far from normal (he noticed with devastating awareness). He snapped his fingers and she was in a comfortable set of pajamas, underneath the covers of the master bedroom's California King, and it wasn't long before she drifted to sleep.

He stepped to the side of the bed and saw that her face was screwed into a frown. Her hands held the sheets in a white-knuckled grip. He reached into her thoughts and found that she was already slipping into a nightmare, and a nasty one at that. He knew that before all of this, she would have hated him for digging around in her mind, but for the moment he could only hope she would forgive him as he made her sleep dreamlessly.

He kissed her forehead and tucked a stray lock of hair out of her face, just as a flash of light signalled the arrival of another Q.

He sighed and turned to face his former lover, saying in a solemn voice he'd never heard himself use before, "Please Q, she's had a wretched day."

She raised one of her impeccable eyebrows and drawled, "So you've brought your pet human back to the Continuum. What was it this time? Did she have a bad date with Commander Whatsit and wanted to whimper to you, or did another wormhole turn out to be a dud?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and she narrowed hers right back, as he said, "Buzz off. I don't feel like arguing with you."

She rolled her eyes and stepped closer, saying as she looked down at the sleeping captain like a snake eyeing a mouse, "If it's really that horrible, just cheer her up. Give her that horrid bean drink she never shuts up about, make her a new ship with new underlings to boss around, there has to be something to stop this nonsense and your insufferable moping."

He kept his eyes fixed on Kathryn, stroking her cheek with the back of one finger. He remained grim as he said, "None of that will make her happy, not now."

For the first time, he heard Miss Q laugh. "Then what will? Good heavens, you never moped this much when she rejected you. This 'horrid day' must have been a real doozy."

The humor quickly died for her and she said, "I almost have the mind to make her Q. Surely now that those ignoramuses are out of the way, she couldn't be too horrible to have around."

He looked up at her quickly and said with a bit of urgency, "Don't you dare. That's a terrible idea."

She gave him a smirk. "You act like the fact that it's a terrible idea to you is going to stop me. If anything, I'm convinced. Really Q, your sense of humor has degraded horribly ever since you let that mammal into our lives. Besides. It will be so much fun to watch her."

She disappeared.

He quickly looked back down at Kathryn to find her still asleep underneath the covers, her expression now blank and her hands grasping at the sheets. He sat on the side of the bed and held one of her hands gently, slipping a small sliver of a dream into her mind.

She was lying in the middle of a wildflower field, gazing up at the stars, but Q stayed by her side, warding her nightmares away.

---

When Kathryn woke up the next morning(?), sunlight filtered beautifully through the windows and birds sang outside in the trees. She looked around the room with a bit of alarm, but as soon as she saw Q, it all came flooding back. Her face fell and she lied back down, turning away from him as she curled up in the sheets.

He moved to rest a hand on her back but hesitated at the last second, saying softly, “Kathy… you know there was nothing I could do.”

She turned over and gave him a weak glare, saying hoarsely, “Well you certainly picked an odd time to give a damn about anyone’s rules.” He nodded and said with a ghost of a sad smirk, “I guess I did.”

He stood from the side of the bed and conjured a small breakfast tray for her, complete with a tall stack of pancakes, bacon and eggs, and of course a steaming mug of coffee. She faced away from him, although her stomach rumbled loud enough for him to hear.

“You have to eat something, Kathy. Please,” he muttered, moving a little closer. She reluctantly sat up and grabbed the tray, setting it in her lap before wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. He watched her inquisitively, a faint frown on his face as he said, "Go on, it's not poison." The corner of her mouth twitched and she muttered under her breath, "Shame."

She ate her breakfast, keeping her gaze on the tray as she downed mouthful after mouthful. She hadn't realized just how hungry she actually was; she cleaned her plate in five minutes. The coffee, however, remained untouched.

Q noticed this, saying, "It's your favorite blend, black, just how you like it." She grabbed the handle slowly and took a sip, setting it back down. He let out a small breath before saying, "How are you, Kathy?"

She rubbed one of her temples with her free hand and said through gritted teeth, "Don't call me that." He frowned and said, "Kathryn, then." Chakotay's face flashed behind her eyes and she spat, "That's worse."

"Madame Captain?"

She slammed the mug down on her tray, sending coffee sloshing over the sides. "I'm not a damn captain anymore Q, my crew is dead-!"

Her voice cracked and she held her face in her hands, taking deep shuddering breaths before grabbing the mug again. She took another slow sip of coffee, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry," he said softly. She nodded, finishing off her mug and setting it down on the tray.

“‘Kathy’ is alright. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“My dear Kathy, no one has more of a right to yell than you do.”

She set her tray to the side, and he vanished it as soon as it left her hands.

She spent the day in bed, alternating hours of sleeping and crying and only breaking this routine to begrudgingly eat the meals Q conjured for her. Although she hardly said a word, he stayed with her the entire time, keeping her dreams peaceful and making sure she was comfortable.

---

Almost a month passed this way; Kathryn could hardly leave her room. She ate her meals and drank her coffee in silence, ignoring Q and staring into nothingness. He fought off her nightmares and talked to her even though he hardly ever got answers outside small grunts and single words.

He never knew her crew meant this much to her. Sure, she’d told him, she’d been so determined to get home, she watched over them like a mother bear, but he woefully realized that he’d never really listened to her. Seeing her like this was truly jarring.

One day, she’d been in a darker place than usual. She’d thrown her mug at the wall, sending hot coffee and shards of glass everywhere, and screamed for him to leave. He forgot himself for a moment and left the Continuum, knocking a few moons out of orbit before righting them again and heading back. He found her sitting in the living room, and she said in a voice hoarse from sobbing, “I’m sorry Q.” She watched him with watery eyes as he stepped closer, and he said, “It’s alright… I shouldn't have left you alone, you have every right to be angry.” He sat down next to her hesitantly, and before he could react, she moved closer and hugged him. He returned the hug gently, feeling her begin to cry in his arms.

Miss Q arrived one evening while Kathryn was sleeping, and Q stood in front of her door with a glare.

“Don’t you dare, Q. You can’t.”

She raised an eyebrow and said, “And why can’t I? I’m bored. I know fully well that you understand the feeling.”

“She’s miserable enough without having to live out eternity this way. Please, leave her be.”

She actually smirked, chuckling low in her throat and saying, “‘Please’? Oh Q, how pathetic of you.” She snapped her fingers, disappearing from the house in a flash of light.

He teleported to Kathryn's room only to find her sitting on the edge of her bed, looking down at her hands. He could feel something almost like electricity in the air, a subtle difference he only noticed around fellow Q. His heart(?) dropped.

He knew that right now, she was feeling the full brunt of omnipotence, weighing down on her like a foot on the back of her neck. He stepped forward cautiously, but the force of her anger shoved him back against the closed door as she muttered, "What the hell did you do to me."

"This wasn't me, I swear! It was Q, that conniving-"

"Why."

He couldn't answer her.

Standing in front of her was almost like standing in the center of a supernova. He could feel the intensity of the grief rolling off of her, and it almost brought him to his knees. For her sake, he couldn't wait until a few millenia passed, when emotions began to fade and give way to crushing emptiness, but at the same time he dreaded it.

As she narrowed her eyes at him and snapped vindictively, sending them both hurtling through space, he had to admit she adjusted quickly. He truthfully expected nothing less from her, and he would have been proud were it not for the fact that he was currently being dragged through space and time like a ragdoll. Given the circumstances, for the first time in forever, he was terrified.

She yelled at him in the Qs' language, and while hearing her voice saying those words(?) was transcendent, the meaning behind them made him want to hide in the nearest blackhole and never come out again.

"Why did she do this? Why did she make me this way? Answer me, Q!"

"She said she was bored, nothing more! She didn't mean anything by it!"

She lashed out, dragging him through an anomaly and raging, "That would be just my luck, to spend the rest of time itself as part of a species who torments sentient life because they're bored!"

She vanished, leaving him reeling.

It wasn't until fifty years later that he found her standing on top of a trash freighter in the Delta Quadrant, watching Voyager's remains being hauled away.

She wore her Starfleet uniform, her (lovely) hair pulled back into her signature bun. She felt his presence and said softly, "Go away." He manifested beside her in his own corporeal form, sitting down on the hull. She sat down next to him and blinked back tears (he remembered tears, from his mortal experience on the Enterprise-D).

"Kathy… this won't help."

"I know it won't."

She clasped her hands together and took in a deep breath, saying, "It doesn't get any better, does it?" He looked down at the bulkhead beneath his feet and said, "I wouldn't know. I haven't… cared for anything as strongly as you cared for them."

He thought for a quick second before saying, "If it makes you feel any better, you're Q now. You can see anything you want, do anything you like."

She looked at him and said lowly, "You really don't know anything about me, do you? After all those years of stalking me and trying to win me over, you never really took the time to learn who I am. If you think I'm going to enjoy being trapped in limbo, never able to move on from this miserable existence, then you don't know me at all."

She disappeared, and with that, Voyager's remains ceased to exist.

He stayed on the bulkhead of the trash freighter for a while longer, staring out at the empty space in front of him. He wasn't sure what was to be done now.

---

The first thing she did was try to undo what happened to Voyager. She went back and vanished the other ship into nothingness, but as she did, she could feel every individual life cease to exist all at once. It hit her like a punch to the throat.

She watched her crew go on living, but she wasn't used to changing time, and what she changed only caused another timeline.

Back in her timeline, her crew was still dead.

She tried everything she could, but the results remained the same. She supposed she could have ripped the universe apart but in the end she didn't see the point.

---

Years, decades, centuries passed and Kathryn grew used to omnipotence.

She started off the rest of eternity by exploring, still driven by the humanity inside her to see all that she could. She looked but never touched, determined not to become a monster but too dreadfully aimless to remove herself entirely.

She visited Earth only once, but without her crew the planet held nothing but bitterness. She never visited it again.

In a somewhat desperate attempt to regain some small bit of normalcy, she lived in different species for a couple millenia. She'd mingle, learn all there was to learn, sometimes staying for hundreds of years at a time before moving to the next.

The more and more she lived as a Q, the less and less sense the Prime Directive made to her. The notion left her mind entirely one day, as she stopped an asteroid from decimating a planet populated by a civilization that deemed her the Goddess of Good Fortune shortly afterward. She found somewhat of a purpose, gaining a similar reputation in thousands of solar systems, halting plagues and natural disasters and all manner of disputes.

She refused to be associated with the Continuum. She never sought them out, and for the longest time, she didn't see any of them.

Q finally came to talk to her, watching carefully from afar as she drifted on the edge of a spiral galaxy in the incorporeal form she hated so much. She thought she would never get used to the feeling.

"What do you want, Q?"

"I'd just like to talk."

"...Alright."

She appeared in the tunic she'd worn on the planet she and Chakotay had dubbed New Earth, sitting cross-legged in the void. Q joined her in his usual uniform, looking at her with a silent question on his features.

"I'm sorry, Kathy, you must know that by now."

She paused before saying softly, "I know."

She rested her chin on her hand and said, "I've given it quite a bit of thought, between the distractions. Time… is so incredibly different this way. I guess it doesn't matter now."

She faced him and said, "The emptiness is… almost suffocating sometimes. I've lived a thousand different lives, on so many different worlds, but it doesn't mean a thing. Not a damn thing. I can pretend, but I'm not like them anymore."

Her voice quivered as she said, "I can barely even mourn properly. I feel… I feel numb, but that's not the right word. I know it was senseless, I know there was nothing I could have done, but I can't accept that. But I have to."

He hesitated, for once in his life(?) thinking before he spoke.

"You may not believe me, and I've given you plenty of reason not to, but I admire you."

She looked back out into the void, chuckling darkly. He raised both hands and said, "I do. Any other-"

He caught himself, "A Q would have lashed out. Half the universe would be in ruins, but you, Kathryn Janeway, the marvel of the human race… I used to scoff at your morals, but…" He looked down at his hands and then back at her, saying softly, "You're so much better than I could ever be."

They sat there in silence, watching everything and nothing all at once. She caught herself speaking aloud, startling them both, "Hold me." He gave her a puzzled look and she said, "Please."

Without hesitation, he pulled her into a tight hug, feeling her return it. He planted a small kiss under her ear and she rested her forehead on his shoulder, holding onto him a little tighter. He could feel her emotions filling the space around them, her frustration, anger, but the most overwhelming was the crushing grief. It poured off of her in relentless waves that had long since dragged her under.

He held her, stroking her hair and staying silent as she began to cry. He didn’t need to infer too much to know that he shouldn’t say anything, and even if he should, he wouldn't know what. He supposed if she were in a better mood, she would have found that amusing, Q, not knowing what to say, but he doubted she would be in a better mood again.

Slowly, over the course of a few hours, the waves subsided to numbness, and she disappeared without another word. He stayed behind, looking out at the galaxy gently turning before him. She had called this the Milky Way before, and he almost had the mind to destroy it.

He plucked it out of space and held it in his palm, regarding it with something almost resembling disgust. A simple thought, that's all it would take, but something stopped him. He paused, letting it turn in his hand before leaving it hanging in the void.

---

Another thousand years came and went like it was nothing, and Q didn’t see Kathryn once. He saw her handiwork: corrected orbits, cured plagues, halted disasters of every caliber, but never the orchestrator. That was, until one day she found him instead of the other way around.

He had gone back to Earth and found nothing he remembered. Humans had changed drastically since the last time he'd seen them, and when he arrived, they simply ignored him. He knew it was foolish, but he almost felt hurt. He was sitting inside a nebula, vanishing stars without systems when she found him.

She didn't say a word, sitting down next to him and hugging her knees to her chest. He couldn't feel her emotions at first, and as he probed for them, he found nothing but a small fragment of her grief.

He turned to face her and said, "I can see why you hate this so much…" He paused before saying softly, "Kathr- Kathy, I am so sorry-"

She interrupted him with a swift kiss on the mouth, and as he looked at her in utter bewilderment, she said, "Enough apologies, Q." She leaned in again, and there was nothing he could do to move away.

This kiss was slow. It was everything he'd ever wanted, but at the same time it wasn't. Her arms hooked around his neck and her hands wandered to his hair, but she was so dreadfully cold. Where he should have felt passion, warmth, love, if not love then lust, anything, he felt nothing.

#i regret everything #i regret nothing #its a paradox but yk thats the vibe currently #tw suicude #kathryn janeway needs a hug #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #also on ao3 #well by tomorrow it will be #i cqnnot stress how unrequited the q x janeway in this story is

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agustdef · 5 years ago

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Knuckleheads - Part 1

Pairing: Yoongi x OC [From Here & Now]

Genre: Idol!AU; Some fluff; Angst

Word Count: 12.6k

Warning: Angst. Some Language. Medical emergency. Unhealthy habits. (Not eating. Not sleeping. Just not taking care of one self in favor of working too much.)

Rating: PG15

Banner Marker: @shadowsremedy

Lovely Beta Reader: @shadowsremedy

Author’s Note: So, this is part of a two-shot for the Bangtan Scenery ‘April Showers Bring May Flowers’ collab. So this month you get the angst and next month comes the fluff. I promise I won’t just leave people hanging with this ending.

P.S. The creator of this lovely banner is also my posting twin and is giving us some angst with a Jungkook x Reader story here.

Summary: When you refuse to take care of yourself, you’re accepting that the consequences may vary. Or Kendall and Yoongi can’t seem to find a balance within their work and it’s doing more damage than they think.

Kendall's fingers flew across the keyboard, her eyes focused solely on the open document in front of her. She was almost at the end and could feel it or at least that's what she tricked herself into believing. In truth she still had a few more chapters to write, but the end of chapter goal was what kept her going.

Lying to herself was the way to get stuff done.

And after twenty minutes of typing away, the chapter was finished. Kendall then took a short break to drink some water and flex her fingers, but it wasn't long before she was on the next chapter. There were deadlines she needed to meet and getting ahead was her only goal for the day.

Even if that meant she was glued to her chair for twenty-four hours.

Time passed quickly as she wrote, especially since she'd gotten lost into the world she was weaving. Before she knew it, it was midnight and she was writing the final words of her last chapter of the day. She'd breezed through writing two of them and pushed for three more, even though her eyes were begging for a break.

Just as she typed the last word, she heard an aggressive vibration coming from the drawer in her desk. Confused, she opened it up to see her phone squirming around, which made no sense since she'd told everyone to leave her be for the day.

Kendall pulled the phone out of the drawer and flipped it over just as the vibrations stopped. And when she saw the screen her eyes nearly fell out of her head.

There were twelve missed calls from Yoongi.

She'd completely forgotten that they were supposed to have a facetime that night.

He was going to be pissed.

Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the phone and called him back. As she waited and was forced to see the reflection of herself, she realized she'd forgotten to do all her skincare that morning. Her face was beyond dry, but she didn't have time to remedy that because Yoongi was answering her call.

The expression on his face was blank, but she could see the annoyance in his eyes and the way his jaw was rigid.

"Hi Yoon," she said.

Being calm was her best option, because if she tried to play innocent or too sweet, he'd be even more annoyed with her than he was. And she honestly felt bad so that was the last thing she wanted.

A minute went by and he just stared at her, his eyes almost never blinking. It made the silent treatment even more uncomfortable.

Kendall sighed. "I'm sorry, Yoongi. I really am. I've been writing nonstop all day and time just got away from me. I seriously didn't mean to forget. I even set an alarm on my desktop, but it didn't notify me."

Though her words seemed to soften his expression it only lasted for a moment, because then he was leaning closer to his phone with an obvious frown.

"Nonstop? You've been writing nonstop all day?"

Kendall cursed herself for that slip up. Of course, that would make him even more annoyed with her.

Not knowing what else to say she nodded.

Yoongi ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath before his full attention turned back to her. For a moment he still looked miffed, but soon enough his entire expression shifted to one of worry.

"Why?" he asked.

Knowing she'd already ended up on his bad side she took a moment to gather her thoughts. Articulating her reasons clearly would lead to less confusion and annoyance for him if she accidentally said something in a way she didn't mean it.

"You know I'm on deadline for this rewrite and I wanted to knock out as much as possible. And I know, I know it's a bit further away and I have time, but I have all these other things to do that I wanted to get a head start. Give myself time to breathe later on since I know I'm going to have to start that outline for the one duology that Ara and I have been talking about. Plus, I don't want to spend all my time while I'm in Korea writing. So, I didn't think that a goal of ten chapters today would hurt anything," she rambled.

"Ten?" he shouted.

Again, Kendall nodded.

There was a series of sighs that he let out before he spoke again.

"Were you wearing your wrist braces?"

"Yes."

"Did you take Tylenol before you started and then again a few hours later?"

"Yes."

"Did you move around some?"

"Kind of."

Another sigh.

"Did you eat?"

Kendall knew she was screwed, but she wasn't going to lie to him.

"I had a pop tart throughout the day, but nothing else," she said.

If his glare could kill, Kendall would've died the moment he looked at her. And she understood why. It hadn't been her intention not to eat. Not eating was never her intention, but when she was focused on something else and didn't feel any biological urges, she'd forget. Even if she did get hungry it wasn't long before it slipped her mind.

After another stare down he broke again, though that time the anger didn't leave his face; it merely softened a bit.

"My day was a late start so I'm having a late lunch. It's on the way. Order something and we'll eat together. And it better be something filling. I don't care about how late it is; you need to eat."

"I can do that," Kendall said.

Not wanting him to glare at her anymore she sprang into action. Propping the phone against the monitor she went to her browser and looked at the places she had bookmarked. She wasn't craving anything specific, so she went with a Chinese restaurant not too far from her. Quickly her order of chicken with broccoli and vegetable fried rice was placed. She even flipped her camera and raised the phone so he could see her do it.

"It says fifteen minutes," she said once it sent.

He grunted. "Mine should be here around that time too."

Even though he was more at ease because she got her life together he didn't look at her. He'd sat the phone against something, and his eyes were focused on the screen in front of him. Though she wanted a little more interaction with him she couldn't help but enjoy watching him focused on work.

After a few minutes she broke the silence.

"Did you get the samples I sent you?"

Yoongi nodded and said nothing, but then directed his gaze to the camera.

"But you didn't put that one cello piece in there. That and the synth drum track," he said.

Kendall's brows furrowed and she sat the phone back down to focus on her own screen. After going into her email, she saw that it was indeed missing something and huffed.

"I'll send the synth drum and this other thing I meant to give you, but you have to wait on the cello piece. I wanted to redo it. Something sounded off," she muttered.

Despite not looking at her phone she knew he was rolling his eyes at her.

"It sounded great. You're just being a perfectionist," he said.

Kendall scoffed. "Says the man who played me Clair de Lune so flawlessly that I cried and then had the nerve to say it didn't flow well enough."

Yoongi smacked his lips, but Kendall could see a small smile form. No matter how much he pushed it back down it flared up again.

After pressing send Kendall watched him closely and said nothing. Not even when he confirmed he got the tracks did she speak a word. She just watched him with a weird smile on her face.

When Yoongi looked her way, he was taken aback by how focused on him she was, but he didn't mind it one bit.

"What?" he asked.

Without thinking she said, "I love you."

Yoongi rolled his eyes but smiled wide at her words. "I love you too, idiot. You just need to do better at taking care of yourself. This shit isn't healthy."

Kendall nodded and continued to stare at him with love in her eyes. Yoongi stared back with the same intense feeling.

They remained like that until her food arrived, then they spent the rest of the night eating and watching Sailor Moon Crystal together until Kendall fell asleep.

Kendall tried not to be annoyed, she really did, but it just wasn't feasible. And it was beyond clear to Kihyun as he drove her from the airport to Yoongi's apartment.

"I'm sorry. I called him and Namjoon, but got no answer from either of them," he said.

That made Kendall sigh. Not because she was pissy, which she was, but because he'd apologized a million times since picking her up. He apologized more than Jungkook that time he thought he'd deleted the track she was working on. In neither instance was it their fault, but both men seemed insistent on quelling her agitation.

She turned her head and stared at Kihyun; whose eyes remained on the road.

"Ki, we've been over this already. You have nothing to apologize for, so stop it. I'm not mad at you. Hell, I'm not mad at all. Just annoyed. I promise."

Kihyun glanced at her as they came to a stop light. Though he appeared skeptical after a few seconds he nodded, and she watched his body physically relax. In turn she relaxed because she hated making people feel uncomfortable when they had done nothing to warrant her mood. She could save her agitation for later.

After about half an hour and some small talk they arrived at the entrance of the building. Kihyun got out to help her with her bags and after a hi-five she made her way inside. The guard on duty was one she was familiar with and he waved at her, a smile on his face. She returned it before heading into the elevator.

As she stood and watched the floor number change it was easy to settle back into her agitated state. Pulling her phone from her pocket she checked to see if there were any messages from the hour she hadn't looked at it. The only things were from her mom responding to her landing text, some emails, and social media notification. Not one message from any of the boys.

When the doors of the elevator finally parted, she practically stormed out, dragging her luggage behind her. She punched in the code into the keypad and just as she stepped into the apartment, she saw the reason Yoongi wasn't answering. On the small table next to the door sat his phone.

Rolling her eyes Kendall kicked off her shoes and fully entered the apartment, ensuring that the door locked behind her. Since she knew he wasn't home she went about her business. That meant taking her luggage and unpacking it and then going into the kitchen to make her a quick lunch. Which was reheated kimchi stew from the fridge and some rice.

By the time Kendall finished her food a wave of tired coursed through her. She'd slept well on the plane, but that didn't make her completely void of jet lag. Staying up was the goal, but after ten minutes of sitting and fighting sleep she realized a nap wouldn't hurt. It was only three in the afternoon anyway, so it wouldn't mess with her sleep that night.

Before she slept, she checked her phone one last time, but again there was nothing from any of the people she needed messages from. Sighing, she texted the group chat and all the boys separately asking why no one was answering. She didn't bother to try and wait for a response though, merely setting an alarm and passing out on the bed.

Her dreams were filled with normal everyday things, so it was a peaceful sleep. Once she'd woken up her body still felt that linger of tiredness, but it was mostly energized. Which was a miracle for a nap. Though once she tapped the screen of her phone, she realized it was because she'd been knocked out for six hours.

None of her alarms had woken her up.

"Damnit," she groaned.

After throwing a small fit she carefully rose from the bed and stretched out. She wondered if Yoongi had appeared, though since he wasn't in the bed with her or hadn't woken her up, she was sure he hadn't. And after a quick look around the apartment, including his studio, she was proven right.

Checking her phone, she went to every single chat and there was nothing, not even a read message. And she knew they kept those things on so they could drag each other when they didn't get a prompt response. Hell, she knew that half the time Jimin went to the bathroom was to check his phone where he wouldn't get scolded and yet nothing.

Tired of it she finally texted Sejin.

Kendall: Hey, Sejin. Is everyone alive? No one is answering my texts or calls.

She went to put down her phone after that, but there was a notification before she could.

Sejin: Today's just been a bit busy with practice and things. Is there something that you need? Something wrong? Do I need to get Yoongi? I know he accidentally left his phone at home.

All the questions made her laugh. Of course, he'd think something was wrong.

Kendall: Nothings wrong. And I know he left his phone. I saw it when I got in a few hours ago

The three dots came almost instantly and then stopped. It went on like that for a minute solid and Kendall had no clue what he could possibly be typing. Finally, it came in.

Sejin: That was today???

So, Yoongi wasn't the only one who'd forgotten about her. It didn't hurt her feelings any because while it was partially Sejin's job to remember it also wasn't. He wasn't the one who was supposed to come get her. Nor was he the one who left her sitting in the airport for almost two hours.

Kendall: Yes

Again, the dots, but he didn't take as long.

Sejin: I'm so sorry, Kendall. I had it down somewhere and it slipped my mind. How did no one get back to you? Yoongi didn't contact you? That punk. I'll let them no to get back to you. We just finished and everyone should be heading home now.

That didn't really warrant much of a response, so she said ok and thank you before throwing the phone on the couch. Them getting back to her was no longer a worry of hers, so she'd just continue with her evening.

Feeling disgusting she grabbed some stuff and went off to take a shower. The moment the hot water hit her skin was like a cleansing for her mind. Was her annoyance gone? No, but she felt calmer and much more relaxed. Well, at least until she remembered she'd gotten in without a shower cap on and scrambled away from the water. Thankfully, there was one already in there from when she'd been in Korea months before.

Refreshed, she hopped out the shower and got dressed. Settling on some short shorts and a tank top for her sleep attire. And after twisting her hair in large sections in order to put on her bonnet, she snagged one of Yoongi's hoodies to walk around in.

Hunger struck her again, so she found her phone and ordered from a place that had pho. It would take some time to get there and she was set on ignoring the messages from the boys that sat in her inbox. So, she went about straightening and cleaning things. She'd done the kitchen and the living room by the time she was notified the food was there. Slipping on her shoes she went down to get it, once back in the apartment she practically inhaled it.

She watched some random show while she ate, but once she was done the urge to be productive hit her. Grabbing her laptop from the bedroom she planned to work from the couch, but then her eyes drifted towards the hall where the studio was. Being fully immersed in her work sounded better to her, and she'd wanted to work on a track, so it made sense.

Kendall grabbed some water and a pop tart before heading into the studio.

It only took her a minute to set everything up. Even booting the computer up under her log in. Everything was just like she wanted it, thankfully. Sometimes when Yoongi typed in his password wrong too many times he used her log in and ended up altering how she liked to set up her software. It was a pain in the ass to fix.

He was a pain in the ass.

Not allowing herself to get worked up Kendall focused on the computer. Slipping on some headphones she played the track a few times before tweaking it. The goal was reggae trap, but it wasn't coming out that way at all, so she just went wherever it took her.

But twenty minutes in her phone wouldn't stop vibrating, so she was forced to deal with it. It was a series of messages from the boys. They'd all sent apologies separately, but also blew up the group chat. Scrolling through and reading them all took a solid two minutes.

She wasn't that upset with them. Much like Sejin they were supposed to remember, but weren't the ones with any real responsibility. It wasn't necessarily their job. Kendall was just being petty when she ignored their messages before.

Sighing, she realized that if she didn't reply they'd keep messaging her nonstop or start thinking she was pissed at them or something.

Kendall: It's fine. I'm annoyed and hate that I had to call Kihyun to come get me, but it's fine. I'm not mad at any of you. But I'm also trying to work, so maybe tone down the spamming

There was an overall okay in response to her and she went to set her phone down only for it to go off again. That time it was just Namjoon.

Namjoon: Did Yoongi call or text?

Kendall checked her phone for a message from someone other than Joon and there was none.

Kendall: No

Namjoon: Taehyung gave him his phone so he should get to you soon. And I swear that he feels like shit for forgetting.

Though she believed him, something in her questioned why he felt the need to emphasize that. And why Yoongi didn't just head home instead of using Tae's phone to contact her, but she chose not to ask Joon a million questions.

Kendall: Ok, thanks for letting me know

With that she got back to work but sat the phone on her thigh, so she'd feel when it went off. Enough time passed that she'd been so into her work that the vibrating almost went unnoticed. But when she realized it, she took off the headphones and answered the call from Tae's phone, though she did take note that it was over an hour later.

"Hello?" she said.

There was silence and then a gruff voice came through. "Hi, baby."

"Yes?" she wasn't going to play that game with him.

"I know I fucked up," he said.

"Accurate."

He laughed at that but kept going. "But I really need a favor from you and then I'll be on the way home. Where I will apologize thoroughly."

Of course, he needed something from her first. That explained her weird feeling about how bad he truly felt.

"What is it?" she asked.

A sigh of relief came through the phone. "There are some things in the folder labeled Jin and I need you to send it to me."

"Fine."

"Thank you so much. I love you."

In return all she did was grunt. Saving her own project, she logged out and logged into his. Within a minute or two she'd found the folder and sent it to him.

"It should be there," she said.

"Thank you. I swear I'll be home in forty-five minutes or less."

Kendall rolled her eyes. "Sure."

Right as he tried to say bye, she stopped him though, there was something else she needed to say.

"If your version of telling me your sorry involves sex, you're going to want to rethink your plan. It's not happening."

And with that she hung up.

Locking her phone, she threw it on the desk and refocused on her music. She wasn't going to let him derail what she was doing.

By the time thirty minutes passed Kendall was okay with where she was in terms of progress and knew she'd need to come back to it with fresh eyes. But she played it aloud a few times to see if she genuinely liked it.

Kendall was so immersed in listening she didn't realize that by the third playthrough she was no longer alone. Not until Yoongi's hands were on her shoulders. It caused her to jump, but when she registered his fingers she calmed down.

She then stopped the music and turned around to face him. He was looking all sweet and innocent, but she knew better than to give in to that.

"Go ahead," she said.

Yoongi immediately dropped the act and sighed. Then after staring at her for thirty seconds he moved closer and pushed her legs together. Before she could question that both of his knees were on either side of her thighs and he was sitting in her lap, his arms wrapping around her neck.

"Baby."

"Don't baby me mister."

Yoongi rolled his eyes but didn't retort.

"Kendall. I'm sorry I forgot about you today, I really am. I told myself last night, but then today was crazier than we thought it would be. It didn't help that I was up late working on this thing for Kook. Which meant I rushed out of the house forgetting my phone and then I was so wrapped up in work that nothing else crossed my mind," he rambled.

Kendall's eyes narrowed. "Pause. A thing for Kook? As in the thing you said you stopped working on and would pick up today when you had the chance. Because you'd already pulled three all-nighters this week and you needed the rest."

With each word Kendall became more annoyed and Yoongi realized he'd messed up.

She watched as he scrambled for something, but then finally gave up.

"Look, I know. I should've slept, especially since it takes me so much more energy to fake that I have energy in order to get through work. But inspiration hit and I just started working. Next thing I knew it was early in the morning and I needed to get ready for the day. I fucked up and I'll do better about it. I promise."

His words were sincere, and he wasn't the only one prone to doing that, so she couldn't be too upset with him.

"I get it. We both suck at taking better care of ourselves. We'll both do better," she said.

Yoongi nodded, removing one arm from around her neck so he could hold out his pinky. Smiling she linked her own with it.

"We'll do better," he said.

Kendall nodded and with that Yoongi got off her.

"I showered and ate dinner already, so how about we go to bed?" he asked.

A sarcastic laugh escaped Kendall and she shook her head.

"I said sex isn't happening."

Yoongi scoffed. "I just want to cuddle you, not sleep with you. Goodness, woman."

Though she didn't believe him Kendall shut everything down and allowed him to lead her out of the studio to the bedroom. There they snuggled up and watched TV. Yoongi copped several feels, especially on her butt, which he insisted was an accident.

But the truth was, they didn't do better. In fact, they got worse.

Comeback preparation came at them harder than usual and they had to dive into the chaos. Of course, it wasn't their first time handling it, but that didn't make things easier for either of them.

Yoongi was fully submerged in it, along with one or two projects outside of the group. Kendall wasn't essential for the album, but she still worked on it nearly every day. Plus, there were other groups she worked with that were preparing to comeback, along with all the writing she needed to get done. It was a blessing that projects in the western world were off limits to her during prep or the stress would've tripled.

To their credit they did try to keep things from getting out of hand, but it only took a week before they slipped into unhealthy habits. Their focus was so on getting things done so they were out of the way, that there was no thought about taking a moment to breathe. A moment to take a walk and not think about all the things that needed to be done.

If a thing they planned wasn't mandatory it wasn't going to happen. There were countless outings with friends that they flaked on. A cancelled lunch here, a trip to Lotte World there, jam sessions that were only meant for some fun and stress relief. Kendall nearly missed a friend's engagement party because she'd brushed off the reminder and twenty minutes before someone called to ask her when she was getting there.

At some point people stopped inviting them places and neither of them even noticed.

And that didn't even account for them flaking on each other. Date nights or plans to do even the grocery shopping were put off or forgotten about. Not that either of them ever brought it up, because even if they were aware enough to remember themselves something always caught their attention, so they forgot it even happened. Well, didn't happen.

It even reached the point where spending time together was sitting in Yoongi's studio and working on different things. Kendall preferred her studio for producing so she'd just bring her laptop in and write. Yoongi was usually the one to invite her, but he didn't stop staring at his screen or talking to one of the guys about a track long enough to say anything but hi.

It was getting out of control, but of the two Yoongi was the one dealing with all the stress and work better. He was pushing too hard and not taking proper care of himself, but sometimes logic would prevail. A snack would get eaten or he'd walk to a secluded park to write lyrics because he needed a change of scenery.

But even with his brief moments within reality, he was blind to the fact that Kendall was descending farther than he'd ever reached. He always had faith that she would be fine because she was strong enough to know when things truly needed to slow down, but she wasn't doing that. And right under his nose she was on a downward spiral.

For over a month he remained blind to that, everyone did. Or at least they weren't saying anything to him about it. Not that he listened much to what anyone told him when he was focused on something else.

However, at some point someone got fed up with the bullshit.

Kendall was on Yoongi's couch typing away on her laptop with music blasting through her headphones, while Yoongi sat at his desk writing lyrics. They'd started working on a song the night before that he needed help tweaking. Hours past rapidly as they brainstormed and worked through it. When that was figured out, she decided to write while he finished up.

Both neglected to notice that by the time Kendall's butt hit the couch it was seven in the morning. And they stayed like that until nine rolled around and Jin was bursting through the doors with bags in hand.

The suddenness startled them both and they stopped what they were doing to focus on him. They were met with an incredibly angry Jin and a smirking Taehyung who stood behind him watching the show.

"What time is it?" Jin asked.

"Uh..." Kendall shrugged, eyes flitting down to the bottom right of her computer screen.

When she saw the time, her eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped. There was a curse from Yoongi which indicated that he'd also checked.

"Mhm, and when were you supposed to leave?" he asked.

"No later than one," Yoongi mumbled.

"And why is that?"

"Because we've already been pushing it, so the rule has been imposed for everyone so not to overwork ourselves," Kendall said.

Jin nodded. "And yet, here you two are. Up for over twenty-four hours. Plus, you haven't eaten since who knows when. So, you're going home and today is an off day."

Yoongi opened his mouth to speak, but Jin just reiterated his point.

"You're both going to eat all of that. Only then will you be allowed to leave and when you leave, you're going to go home and rest. Don't make me have to come over and watch you do it either. I will know if you don't."

The way he glared at them meant there was no room for argument and Yoongi wasn't going to, but Kendall had something to say.

"Actually, I have a meeting at one that's like an hour away and then I have a session at four. So..."

That made Jin glare at her, but he didn't have anything else to say. Of course, arguing it was an option, but work was work and there was no way around that. Yoongi even had it in him to look displeased by the news.

Without saying anything Jin moved farther into the studio and shooed Yoongi out of his chair and onto the couch. From there he took a seat and started pulling things out of the bag he'd brought with him. Before they knew it, containers of steaming food were in each of their laps and Taehyung was handing them drinks.

Once they had the food, he stared them down and waited, but Yoongi was the only one who started eating right away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kendall playing with the food.

"Look, Jin we didn't mean too..."

"Just eat," Jin said, clearly not in the mood for an explanation.

After that nothing else was said and they both just sat there and ate their food. Every drop of food was consumed too because no matter how much they told him they were full he just stared at them until they continued.

It was like they were children.

When all the food was gone Jin directed to shut everything down and gather their stuff. Jin supervised every movement. It didn't stop there though. He got into the van that took them home and glared the entire drive there. Then he went up with them and watched as they both got ready for different things.

Yoongi prepared for bed and Kendall for her meetings. In half an hour of arrival she was out the door and Yoongi was down for the count.

But his sleep was only temporary.

After about twenty minutes he was up again, and his body didn't want to go back down. He gave up and dragged his feet out into the living room, where Jin was still present.

"Are you not leaving?" Yoongi asked, his voice gruff.

Jin was startled by him and jumped a little, but quickly collected himself and went back to the scowl that seemed permanent.

"Not until you've been out for a few hours. And maybe not until Ken gets back," Jin said.

Yoongi chuckled at that. "I can't sleep, and she might not be back for a while so you're going to get bored fast."

There was a moment or two of silence before Jin's expression shifted to something more distressed, a sigh escaping him.

"Yeah, I know."

That response through Yoongi off. Obviously, Jin would be tired of their antics but something about him read more than that. Yoongi couldn't pinpoint what else could be plaguing the oldest member, but he would find out. He hated seeing any of his brothers down and out.

Moving toward the couch he laid out a few feet from Jin and watched him closely.

"Something wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Yoongi asked.

That made Jin sigh again, but it was accompanied by a humorless laugh. After a second or so Jin nodded and turned to face Yoongi.

"Not when you're like this I can't."

Yoongi scoffed. "Of course, you can. I know I've been a little too focused lately, but you know I'm always here for you. You don't need to worry about that."

"You're the one I'm least worried about," he mumbled.

"Huh?"

For a moment Jin appeared conflicted, but then his expression turned serious. He turned his body so he was facing Yoongi full on and stared at him for a few seconds.

"Have you really not noticed Kendall's behavior?" Jin asked.

That made Yoongi frown. He'd been caught up in work, but he liked to think if something was wrong, he'd noticed it. There was nothing that came to mind though. All he was met with was memories of her being as engulfed in her work as him, which wasn't a great thing, but it wasn't that bad. She had a lot of work.

Though part of him felt like that line of thinking was stupid since he was on her constantly about taking care of herself. But of course, he shook it off, they were in a high-pressure time and sometimes things needed all their attention.

"She's been working a lot, but that's it. Did something happen?" he asked.

Jin groaned and wiped a hand over his face.

"You've both been working a lot, but she's taking it to an almost extreme level. Have you seriously not seen that she's almost always working on something or going somewhere to do more work? I'm not even sure that she gets much sleep at this point. Let alone eats enough. I'm sure this morning was the biggest meal she had in a few weeks."

That made Yoongi even more confused. "But I almost always see her when you guys force a group lunch. She eats then."

Jin pursed his lips. "Have you actually seen her eat or just pick at the food while typing away at her phone and basically running away when everyone else finishes?"

Yoongi tried to think back to all the times they'd eaten together, and he remembered eating at least half his meal, but never actually seeing Kendall eat. His attention always focused on his screen or notebook. And when he'd go to put the leftovers in the fridge or trash Kendall's containers would be beside her in the exact spot it was placed. But of course, she just happened to sit it back down there or ate out of it from that position. She wouldn't forgo food for long, so she had to be eating.

"Of course, she..." Yoongi started, but then he recalls seeing her walk down the hall one afternoon and having to lean against the wall for a moment with her eyes closed. That could've been a one time thing though. Couldn't it?

It reached a point where he just laid there with his mind going over every interaction they'd had since the prep began. He was finding all types of things that seemed normal at the time, but in hindsight didn't make any sense if she was taking proper care of herself.

"Listen," Jin said, regaining his attention. "You just need to talk to her. We've all tried, but she plays it off or has something else she needs to do. Jimin almost got her to listen, but she just went back into the habit a few hours later. You're the only one who can call her out on it. You both need to be called out, but I know you'll be fine. I'm scared she's going down a dangerous path."

At that Yoongi nodded, but he was still a bit lost in his own head. He couldn't believe that he'd missed so many signs. There was just no way.

Jin confronting him the week before had woken Yoongi up from what he was doing to himself. The way he'd slimmed down a bit and how no amount of skincare could save his face; the undereye bags were going strong. It wasn't good and so he made changes in order to be healthier. Even having the younger members enforce him taking breaks multiple times a day. It was easier to see how things were going down a bad path for him and he was eternally grateful for Jin helping pull him back as he always did.

However, with his newfound clarity and self-awareness he finally saw what was going on with Kendall. Finally, he was paying attention. He watched her for a week and could see that he'd missed everything. Even the biggest flag of them all, which was how she never left her studio if she didn't need to. He hadn't been looking for that before, so it got by him, but every day until who knows when she was in that room by herself working. Food set outside would go ignored and he was sure she never even peed.

How he'd been so far gone that none of those things caught his attention was still a major question, but he couldn't focus on that. His attention needed to be on figuring out how to handle Kendall. If someone didn't get her to snap out of it, she'd lose steam completely and enter a creative block. And she didn't need to do that when all her jobs were creative. Yoongi cared more about her health than her hitting a roadblock, but he knew that when she did that it was much worse for her mentally. She put too much pressure on herself.

So, he needed to be strategic about it. Coming straight at her would do no good and if he was too nice or tried too hard to get her to forgo something to do something else, she'd suspect him. The only choice was for her lone plan for the day to be cancelled to create a slot where she was free. It would be hard for her to turn him down then, so he did what he had to.

Yoongi pulled out his phone and called Kihyun. His friend answered after a few rings.

"Hello."

"Hey, Kihyun. I have a question," Yoongi said.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Is the thing that you're working with Ken on something urgent? Can it be postponed or something?"

"Yes. Yes, it can!" Kihyun shouted.

It shocked Yoongi. "Uh, okay..."

A throat cleared and then Kihyun was speaking at a normal level. "Sorry. It's just the last time she came to work on the song she looked so tired. And even though she was working as well as usual there seemed to be a lack of her normal spark. I asked her about it, and she brushed me off, but I've been worrying about it. So, it can definitely be put on hold so she can rest or whatever you have in mind."

Everyone, but Yoongi had been paying attention it seemed.

"Yeah, I want to get her to rest. But listen, I need you to make up a reason why it's pushed to another day. She cannot know that I'm the reason that this was cancelled. Getting her to stop depends on her not knowing."

"Okay, I can do that. I'll text her now and then text you when it's done," Kihyun said.

"Thanks man."

"No problem."

With that they hung up and Yoongi shut down everything and prepared to head out. But he couldn't just stroll into her office after she got the news, so he played on his phone for half an hour after getting the confirmation text. After that he just casually made his way to her studio, knocking before letting himself in.

What he was met with was her sitting on the couch and staring at her table with a pen in hand. She was making edits, which made his appearance even better time wise. If she was doing it then that meant she was ahead of her schedule in some way and was even less likely to turn him down.

"Hey, baby. I was going to head out for some food. You want to come?" Yoongi asked.

For a moment or two she didn't say anything, but that was unsurprising since he'd asked as she started to write on the screen. Once she was done with the task at hand her attention became his and he truly saw the tired in her face. The bags under her eyes were prominent and her usually plump cheeks weren't as chubby. It made him feel even worse for not noticing it before.

"Uh. I'm not really hungry." she said, her voice softer than usual.

"But you were gone before breakfast. Come eat with me. Unless you have something else planned?"

That made her sigh and deflate a little. Yoongi almost felt bad for messing with her schedule, but it needed to be done.

"No. Ki said that something in his schedule changed so he'd need to meet with me another day."

Yoongi tried his best to seem chill about it. "Damn, that sucks. I hope they aren't overworking him over there as per usual. Okay, then you can come eat with me since your meeting fell through."

Again, he was met with no response for several seconds, but then she nodded her head and carefully rose from the couch. It was clear that it disoriented her a little, but Yoongi couldn't react to it. He had to let her move at her own pace and get her where he wanted her to be.

As she packed up her stuff, he kept a close eye on her.

"Is there anything you want to get in particular?" she asked.

Yoongi shook his head. "Nah, not really. I was thinking something close by, but then I also remembered that Jin put some kimchi stew in the fridge so we could just eat that."

Kendall froze and that worried Yoongi, he did not need to be found out so early. But when she turned around, she smiled at him.

"That sounds really good."

He returned the smile. "Great. I already had one of the vans waiting out front for me, so we can just tell them where we're going."

Kendall nodded and then motioned for Yoongi to lead the way. When he turned around, he released a deep breath and led them out of the building and into the awaiting van. Once they were on the road it was silent between them, but he didn't mind. He needed to ensure that he didn't say something too soon and if they got talking, he would slip up.

Once they arrived home, he led her upstairs with a hand wrapped around her waist, which wasn't something unusual. It appeared like affection to her and everyone else, but it was mostly him trying to keep her stable enough that she didn't sway or stumble. If that happened, she'd get defensive when he asked if she was okay.

They got into the apartment without issue and Yoongi got to work reheating the food so they could eat. Kendall took a seat at the dining room table and began editing again. It wasn't too intensive, so he let it be, but the moment the stew was ready, and he had some side dishes he had her put it away.

Again, they sat in silence, though that time he turned on the TV and put Brooklyn Nine-Nine on in the background. It drew in some of her attention and that's what he wanted. He needed her calm and comfortable. If she got a filling lunch and was somewhat immersed in the show some of her walls would be down. It also helped that he genuinely enjoyed the series and she knew that, so it didn't appear that he was trying anything.

But despite Yoongi's careful steps Kendall saw through him. After he'd taken the dishes to the kitchen, he returned to find her waiting for him with her arms crossed.

"What?" he asked.

"You're up to something."

That made his heart rate spike, but he'd perfected a steady expression over the years so of course that didn't show.

"What are you talking about?"

"We haven't spent real time together in a while and now you're actively seeking me out. Plus, you've been watching me a lot over the last two days. It's weird and sudden. So, what are you up to?" she asked.

"I'm not allowed to show interest and want to spend time with you now? That's suddenly... actually, no. I'm not going to do this. We'll go back and forth for forever and I'm just going to get to the point. I've stopped being so caught up in work that I noticed that you're too caught up in it. You're not taking care of yourself and I'm worried about you. Many people are worried about you. I thought we could spend some time together and that means you would rest."

Kendall's expression went from suspicious to annoyed. One of her brows raised and she rose from her seat, though she didn't move closer to Yoongi. In fact, he saw her take the smallest step back.

"So, what? You were going to try to get me to bend to your will by using things I like to lull me into a sense of comfort? Thought that would be enough to get me to forget about all the work I have to do?"

"No, I..."

"And then what? Get me to sleep? Make sure I stay in bed until tomorrow? Or were you planning on trying to get me to not work the rest of the week? Something that would put me back severely since I have things to do. Something that..."

"Stop!" he shouted. "Yes, I wanted you to take a break. And I would've loved if it was for the rest of the day. I would love for you to just sit down for a moment and relax. To sleep more than you do. To eat more than you do. I'd love for things to not be how they are now. But I wasn't and don't plan to commit some grand conspiracy against you, Kendall. I just want you to slow down and breathe."

There was silence and then Kendall scoffed. "When you're doing it it's fine, but when it's me there is suddenly this major problem. I'm fine. I'm stressed and working a lot, but I'm fine. This isn't anything that I can't handle. I've had more to do, so it's not a problem. But a problem occurs when everyone seems to think they need to insert themselves into my life for one reason or the other. I don't need to be watched like a child who can't function on her own. I'm more than capable."

Yoongi sighed and ran a hand over his face. Of course, things were taking a turn. She reacted much like him when backed into a corner when they swore, they were okay when in truth it felt like life was drowning them.

"No one is saying you're not capable, Kendall. We just want you healthy and not pushing yourself so much. You're losing weight and you look so drained of energy all the time. Even Kihyun said something was off during your last session. That you had your same work ethic, but your usual energy was gone," Yoongi said gently.

He hoped that his words would change something within her, and they did, but she was angry which wasn't the goal.

Kendall took a deep breath; her fists clenched and unclenched a few times before she glanced at Yoongi.

"Kihyun? Is that why he canceled? Because I don't seem well enough? Great."

Yoongi took a step forward, but she took two steps back.

"Everyone seems to have these grand ideas about what I should be doing and making decisions on my behalf. So, I'm going to let you all do what you want to do. But I won't be around to let you do it. I have things to get done today and Kihyun canceling means I have more time. So, if you need me for my job then let me know. Other than that, back the hell off."

With that she grabbed her stuff and was headed towards the door. Yoongi went after her, but after she slipped on her shoes she whipped around and held her hand up to stop him.

"I'll be sleeping somewhere else tonight. Don't wait up or come looking for me to make sure that I'm sleeping up to your standards."

And with that she was gone. Yoongi was left cursing himself and wishing he'd handled things differently. Maybe if he had she'd be still in the apartment. If he'd only caught on sooner maybe the evening would've been spent cuddled together on the couch or in bed. Honestly, anything was better than what happened.

Yoongi couldn't help but feel like he'd messed everything up.

Despite wanting to fix things as soon as they happened Yoongi waited it out. He knew that coming at Kendall again would just yield another argument and he didn't want that. Especially because he was likely to lose his cool and things would become worse.

So, he sat back and let her do what she wanted for a few days. Every time he ate, he grabbed her food, sat it near the door and walked away. Sometimes it would be gone when he went by again, but more often than not it was still sitting there. It was frustrating, but he didn't let up and just kept doing it. There were even little notes where he left her with encouraging messages or that relayed how much he loved her. He hoped it would help soften her and that she'd see his true intentions.

And when they worked together, he was his usual self. There was no pressure to eat, drink, or rest. Kendall had already taken to avoiding him, so he didn't want her to just completely ignore his existence. He only got such brief time with her to make sure she was okay, and he refused to risk it.

The method was honestly great for the first few days, but then after two days in a row with food untouched and her barely leaving the office he'd had enough. The boys could see it too, they watched as he was pushed over the edge.

They stood in the middle of the practice room discussing the choreography they went over a few times. It was the early stages, they were more worried about everyone getting it than it being in sync, so the topic of discussion was one move that almost everyone was struggling with.

But it was during Namjoon explaining that maybe they could alter the instrumental a little to fit that shit hit the fan.

"I could talk to Kendall about it. Of course, making changes is a bit much but it would be kind of cool. None of us are doing it as smoothly as needed and we were discussing adding more of that slightly disjointed sound to the chorus. It wouldn't take much time at all," Namjoon said.

Hoseok pursed his lips and nodded. "But when can she do it? Of course, we can practice it with that in mind, but we need to hear it and get approval before we make that choice. And she said she had a lot to do today. Something about having a new project to work on and needing to prepar..."

When Yoongi heard she took on another project his head snapped up, his eyes focused on Hoseok. The younger male was startled by the attention, especially since Yoongi was glaring at him.

"She has another what?" Yoongi said, practically shouting the words.

No one said a thing, but then after they all were the focus of his glare Jungkook said something.

"Yeah, she took on this thing for some artist she really likes. They're an American one, but she wanted it more than she cared about sticking to her rule during comeback prep."

The rage that filled Yoongi was swift and before anyone could utter another word, he was storming out of the practice room. He didn't stop until he reached the elevators, but as he waited for the doors to open, he could feel his emotions intensify. It was time to put an end to the situation and he didn't care about her being upset with him.

"Where are you going?" Namjoon called out as he caught up with Yoongi.

"To stop this shit."

"Yoongi, you can't just come at her all pissed off. She doesn't respond well to that, you know this," Joon tried to reason.

"I'm not going to her."

Just as he said that the doors opened, and he stepped through. Namjoon stood and watched him, conflict clear in his expression. Yoongi waited a second, but when he didn't make a move, he pressed the floor number. Just before the doors closed Namjoon slid in after him.

The elevator ride was tense and quiet. Yoongi was trying to control his anger so that he wouldn't lash out at anyone. No one was at fault for this and there was no need for them to have to deal with his issues. Even if they were all willing, he'd hate if he'd made anyone too uncomfortable once everything was over.

When the doors opened, they walked out and the secretary simply nodded and pointed towards their destination. After knocking and being granted entrance they walked into Bang's office.

Their boss looked prepared for their arrival and Yoongi was sure one of the boys put two and two together and warned him. He didn't mind though; it was easier to handle it if he didn't have to just show up and lay it all out when he least expected it.

"Is there something I can help you with, Yoongi?" Bang asked.

Taking a deep breath Yoongi collected himself and then nodded. "Yes, there is. Kendall has been a little, well a lot overwhelmed the last few months. She's working more than she needs to and not taking care of herself properly. Obviously, some of this stuff is out of your domain, but a lot of it is work on producing and writing. It's reached a point where she won't listen and even when things fall through, she finds a million other things to do in its place. I know that her main focus is on the girl group debut and you wanted her to take full control of that, but they won't even be announced for a few months and she's way ahead of schedule. So, what I'm asking for is her taking a break. She'll have more than enough time to come back to it and have them ready. But right now, she needs to step back. I need her to step back before things get worse."

Yoongi hadn't meant to be long winded, but once he started talking it all came out. And that included the distress he was feeling. His voice went up a few octaves and he was pleading with Bang to agree with him. He needed for him to give the go ahead.

It was silent for a moment, but then Bang nodded. "I've noticed that she's been working a lot, but I didn't know to what extent. She's farther ahead then what we talked about. Practically finished the album. So, we can put a hold on any more work until she's had proper rest. If that needs to start today, then it can. I'll send the email and make the call."

After nodding and giving a brief thank you Yoongi was out the door and back in the elevator with Namjoon hot on his heels.

"What are you going to do?" Namjoon asked.

"We're going home."

"And if she doesn't choose to go? You know she's not just going to agree. So, what are you going to do?"

For a while Yoongi didn't say anything, but the moment he stepped off the elevator he turned to face Joon.

"I'm going to tell her too much time has gone."

Namjoon's eyes widened at that, but Yoongi could see on his face he understood. That phrase - too much time has gone - was used when there was something serious they needed to talk about. Something where one of them needed to be heard out and it invoked the urge to listen better with the other. Kendall wouldn't be able to refuse and would have to see how concerned he was.

He hated using it because it always left him on edge when she used it and he would assume the worst, so he knew she had to feel it too when he did it.

"Call or text me after. Okay?" Namjoon said.

Yoongi nodded and then turned to walk down the hall. He made a quick stop in the practice room to grab his stuff and then did the same in his office. Once packed up he headed towards her studio. As he went, he prepared himself for a shit show and he really wished it didn't need to be, but he'd accept that if it meant she'd be okay.

When he walked up to the door the bag of food he'd left earlier was gone and that helped calm him. At least she ate something. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door but got nothing. Several knocks and doorbell rings later he put in the passcode and entered the studio. Instead of finding Kendall immersed in her work he was met with darkness, which was weird because she didn't have any outside work.

Yoongi flipped the switch and found everything was shut down, but something on her desk caught his eye. He moved closer and saw the bag of food, which was still untouched, but before he could focus on that his eyes drifted to the note on the desk. It was the one he left, and it read: You're doing a great job, baby. I got your favorite. I love you.

The paper was wet unlike it had been when he dropped it off and it only took a second to realize that it was from tears. Even the space around it had a few drops here and there.

His first thoughts were about if she was okay and the next were hoping that maybe they'd just been from him finally breaking through to her. Either way she needed to be found.

Yoongi sprinted out of the room and slammed into SlowRabbit who looked at him confused, but then noticed where he was coming from.

"Ken went home. Said she needed to do something," SlowRabbit said.

Muttering a quick thank you Yoongi was running again. He needed to get home fast. Thankfully once he got to the lobby Joon was waiting there with one of the drivers, once they saw him the driver headed to a car out front and Yoongi moved after him.

The drive to the apartment was tense. There was a giddiness inside of him as he clung to the idea that she'd finally seen the light, but there was also a deep-rooted fear of what could happen if she wasn't coming back to reality. It left him all over the place and sweating more than he had during dance practice.

Once in his building he felt his anxiety diminish, but for some reason he walked very slowly through the lobby and to the elevators. Like he was stalling for time trying to come up with something, but in truth his mind was completely blank. Even as the elevator indicated he was getting closer to his floor his mind remained emptied.

It was weird.

As the doors opened, he started to think again, but that quickly came to a halt. At the end of the hall there was a person collapsed onto the floor. Panic filled him and he sprinted out to them, dropping to his knees to make sure they were okay.

"Excuse me? Hey. Hey. Wake up." He chanted as he carefully rolled them over.

When he saw the face, he stopped breathing. For some reason it didn't register in his head that the person was on his floor and in front of his door. It didn't register that the person could be Kendall. Until he saw her face.

"Kendall! Kendall! Baby!"

He shook her gently, one of his hands going to cup her face. She wasn't responding or even moving and that panicked him more. His mind raced and he continued trying to get her to wake up. Screaming her name and shaking her to get some sort of response.

It took a minute or so before it clicked with him that he needed to act. That there was no time to waste.

He placed his fingers under her nose and waited, after a few seconds he was sure that she was still breathing. It wasn't strong, but it was something. He then fumbled in his pocket for his phone and when it was finally in his clutches, he dialed emergency services. His eyes never left Kendall's face and his finger remained under her nose.

When they answered he had a response ready, but instead of words a sob broke free. The tears came soon after and he was finding it hard to say anything.

"Hello? Hello? I can hear you crying, dear. Please tell me what's wrong," a soft voice said on the other end.

Yoongi took a breath and reminded himself what was at stake.

"My... my girlfriend collapsed, and I don't know how long she's been out. I found her in the hallway of our apartment building. Her breathing... her... her breathing isn't as strong as it should be. And neither is her... pul... pulse." He finally managed to choke out.

"Okay. I'm glad that you checked all those things out. If she's still breathing, there's a chance she's fine. Can you give me the location?"

He mumbled off the address and what floor they were on. As he spoke more, he calmed, but the tears never stopped and at any given moment he was hit with an intense wave of distress.

Yoongi's eyes never left Kendall, even as the dispatcher kept him talking so he wouldn't freak out too much. He couldn't take his eyes off her. The last time he'd done that led him to the pain he was enduring in that moment.

Kendall's body felt too hot and she needed to cool off but no matter how much she adjusted there was no escape. At some point she was forced to wake up and try to free herself, but the moment that her eyes opened she felt disoriented.

Everything was fuzzy and her head felt swimmy. It was as if she wasn't grounded and she didn't know why. Of course, she wanted to fight for some clarity, but she knew she'd needed to just let it pass first. So, she waited until her vision cleared and she felt settled before trying to figure anything else out.

Who knows how much time passed before she could make out her surroundings, but when she could confusion filled her. She wasn't in the apartment or in her studio, but what looked like a hospital room. But for the life of her she couldn't figure out why she'd be there.

Kendall searched her memory for something, but it was as clouded as her vision had been. She didn't let that stop her though, she focused on what she could last remember until snippets of her day came up. They were so short that she couldn't make anything out of them though. It was frustrating, but she needed answers and she was alone so there was no one to give them.

At least she thought she was alone.

As Kendall took in her surroundings and then herself, she finally noticed that she wasn't the only one in the hospital bed. Next to her lay Yoongi. He was asleep and looked so peaceful that she momentarily forgot what she was doing. It had been so long since she'd seen him like that and she wanted to savor it, but before she could even get comfortable with the idea it all came rushing back to her.

She'd been working on a track that was proving difficult for her. The idea she had in her head wouldn't translate into the actual work. Nothing she tried was working and she was close to screaming about it. Instead she decided to take a step back and finish some things on a different track for a friend. It would give her a break and the chance to get some more work done.

Halfway through that hunger struck her and she'd peeked out to see if Yoongi left any food for her like he had been. Kendall was still upset with him for actively trying to hinder her work, but she appreciated the gesture because she often forgot to eat. It wasn't that big a deal, but not having to search for food when she finally decided to eat was a good thing.

She'd grabbed the food and brought it in, but as she opened the bag there was a post-it on top. It wasn't surprising since he left them with every meal and she'd planned to sit it aside, but then she read the words. For some reason something in her finally snapped and she felt her body droop and tears fall from her eyes.

Yoongi was being so caring and loving, even after she lashed out at him. He was making sure that she at least ate and reminding her constantly that she was doing great and was enough. She'd been so caught up in doing everything that she'd let those things slip away from her. Let herself reach a point where she was so tired all the time and barely functioning mentally but using the excuse of needing to stay ahead as a reason to keep going. As a reason to not take a moment to breathe.

Kendall ran herself into the ground. And instead of giving into him and taking in what he tried to tell her she'd pushed herself further to prove a point.

But she was tired of proving that point.

So, after crying she packed her stuff and planned to head home. Yoongi was practicing so she didn't want to disturb him. She'd planned to text him after she got home and showered, it would be enough time for the boys to be taking a break. After telling Slow Rabbit she was leaving, a van took her to the apartment and she was eager to finally stop being so hardheaded so she could rest. However, as she got onto the elevator, she felt weird, but couldn't pinpoint why. She brushed it off as being tired and thought maybe she should nap and then shower.

But as she got off the elevator and walked towards the door everything around her shifted. It was like a kaleidoscope was right in front of her eyes and before she knew it her body was falling in slow motion. After that everything was blank.

The moment her brain caught up she felt herself tear up; she'd fucked up. Not only had she done damage to her body, but she couldn't imagine how Yoongi felt. Had he been the one to find her? Was he notified as he tried to live out his day? She hoped she hadn't scared him too much.

As the tears fell her hand moved to caress his cheek. At her touch he shifted but didn't wake up. Leaning down she pressed a kiss to his forehead. It was soft and lingered for several seconds. When she pulled away though, his eyes were wide open, and he was staring at her. The sadness was clear, but there was also some relief.

"Baby," he whispered.

Kendall didn't get the chance to say anything though, because he was kissing all over her face in seconds. After he pulled her tight, burying his face in her neck.

"You scared the shit out of me, Kendall. You can't keep doing this shit, okay? It needs to stop," he mumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry," she said.

It was all she could think to say. She wanted to explain herself, but it didn't feel like the right time, so she let it be.

They spent the rest of the day like that. Even when the doctors came in Yoongi didn't stray too far from her, he always had to be touching her. If he couldn't be in the bed with her then he was holding her hand and if she left to use the bathroom, he would snatch it up the moment she was out.

It hurt her heart to see him like that. To watch him look at her as if she were going to slip through his fingers and disappear.

"I'm sorry," she started. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I should've listened to all of you and stopped letting work take over, but I just pushed myself harder. And when it finally clicked, when your note put me back into reality, I was going to take a break. I'd gone home to shower and rest. I was going to message you after to not be a disturbance and because I knew we were going to need to talk, but I didn't get the chance. I didn't mean for it to get this far."

Yoongi just watched her as she spoke, nodding along to show that he was listening. When she finished, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. He murmured about how it would be okay, and they would deal with it later. Kendall didn't think that wise, but then the boys showed up to pay her a visit and lightly scold her, so the moment was lost.

After her explanation Yoongi still remained close by, but she noticed a shift in him. His relief faded and he relaxed more, but something else rose to the surface. He was clearly annoyed and though she wanted to ask if he was okay, she knew it was best not to. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know why he was upset. Kendall expected his rage to surface at some point, but she wished it made him more vocal.

Instead of scolding her or just straight up yelling he remained silent. They didn't speak much and any conversations she tried to start fizzled within seconds. It left things tense all the time and despite the guilt it grew tiresome.

Thankfully, they only kept her for a day after she'd woken up so she could rest at home. That meant that she wasn't confined in one room with him watching her with his underlying anger, but it didn't make her feel any less uncomfortable. Yoongi still made sure she rested, took her medication, and ate. He worked outside of the home studio to keep an eye on her but kept his distance. And his silence remained. He'd even mastered answering her questions without saying a single word and after three days Kendall was over it.

She'd come home from the hospital still quite drained, but with eating regularly and resting her energy returned to her. Which meant she could risk exerting herself a bit to push the issue. And after he'd blatantly ignored a question she asked it was hard not to snap.

"Can you just fucking yell at me already? I get you have some stuff to work through and are probably trying to figure out how you want to address this, but please just do it. Just say what you want to say. Yell. Cuss. Tell me you hate me. I don't care. Just please say something!" she blurted out.

That made him pause and turn around to face her. His expression was one that he wore when he was pissed off and though it made her stomach drop it's what she wanted. What she needed.

Yoongi laughed after a few seconds. One of those humorless ones, that were so loud and obnoxious that they seemed fake. It lasted for a moment and then he abruptly stopped, taking a few steps forward so they were only two feet apart.

"Okay. I'll talk. We both went off the deep in and got too caught up in things. You more than me, but we're both guilty of it. But I was so off in my own damn world that I didn't notice you were taking it a step too far. I had to be told by Jin, who saw it from the start and tried to help. I had to be told to take a closer look at my girlfriend who I saw often, and thought was okay. I fucked up and part of this is on me. No matter what you say I'm sticking to that because I know how far you can go, and I wasn't seeing the signs. Hell, I even encouraged it with my own behavior.

"But then you have to be so damn stubborn about things. You have to think because there are no obvious effects on you that you're doing okay and that everyone else is seeing things. You push yourself too hard, Kendall. No matter how overwhelmed you are, you push so hard as if you can't take a breath. As if you couldn't half ass it and still come out with some great work. And you let yourself get so in your head that you fucking forgot that and neglected yourself. Barely ate. Barely slept. Barely did anything besides work, even when there shouldn't have been any work to do. And that shit ended with me fucking finding you passed out on the ground in front of our home. Of me fearing that you weren't going to be... be... that you weren't going to be okay. This entire situation is fucked up and I need some time, okay?

So, let me have my time to fucking think. Let me have the chance to stop being mad at you and me, so we can try to move the hell forward after this shit show."

With that he turned on his heel and walked away. He went into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. It left Kendall alone in the living room feeling worse than she had when she woke up in the hospital. She knew she had no valid reason to cry since she'd brought this on herself, but it felt like her heart was ripped out of her chest.

It felt like she'd fucked her entire relationship up.

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #307

“you lie so much, you believe yourself”

How long has it been since you kissed someone? Like, two years or so. What level are you on Farmville? Never played it. What are you looking forward to in the next year? I hope Covid just withers away, dammit. I truly, truly hope this vaccine is effective. And that people start wearing their GODDAMN masks. Do you use a lot of emoticons? Not really nowadays. Would you ever climb a mountain? No. Even if my legs were capable of handling that, I'd be too afraid of an avalanche. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face’s eyes? Colons. When was the last time you swam in a lake? A looooong time ago. If you could have anything right now, what would you want? It'd be great to chill at Sara's house honestly, I miss that. What’s your relationship status? Single and I think finally starting to truly accept I need to be right now. I wouldn't want to date myself in my current position, so I shouldn't expect anyone else to. When was the last time someone asked you your age? On my birthday when I mentioned in group therapy that I was trying to make it an especially good day about myself. When was the last time you danced? Very, very poorly with Sara years ago lmao. Has anyone ever tried to physically fight you? Someone snatched my arm and yanked me down to look her in the eyes in HS because she was a jealous bitch back then telling lies, but idk if her intention was to actually try to start a physical fight. Are you avoiding someone? No. What’s your favorite primary color? Red. What do you have pierced? Just my ears and bottom lip now. :/ I want morrrreeee. I'm forever tilted that so many of my piercings closed when I was hospitalized. What is your favorite dog breed? I find pugs to be very cute, but I do not support their breeding whatsoever so would never buy one. Besides them, I have a definite bias towards beagles. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Fucking Christ, giant squids. Terrifying. Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. There are way, way, WAY too many people on this planet for that. What natural disaster scares you the most? Tornados. What outrageous career could you see yourself wanting to do? Define an "outrageous" career... but I can't visualize myself doing anything very unordinary. In what way would you want to help change the world? I truly hope I can make some considerable amount of contributions to natural conservation and animal education. When driving down the road looking for an address do you turn the radio low? I don't drive, but I know I would, considering I can't concentrate on driving if the radio is on anyway. What do you think of when you look at the stars? How little I and my problems really are. It gives me perspective. If you could say ONE THING to the president, what would it be? Well, Biden just got into office, so I can't really say yet. We'll see what he does. What Disney princess are you most like? Personality wise, I mean. Uh. I'unno. Maybe Snow White because animals? haha Do you believe in astrology? Not in the slightest. Do you look into people’s eyes when you talk to them? I try to, anyway, but I tend to find it very uncomfortable, and I never know if I'm offering too little or too much. So I have trouble maintaining it, especially with people I don't know. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love. Pick one. Trust. What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Hm, that's a deep one. Perhaps the understanding that you are just as important as the next person and that we should work as one to make this one life that we know of worthwhile. Make the world better than when you entered it. What is your favorite shade of blue? Pastel blue. I just like pastels in general. When's the last time you bought something just because? I don't buy things "just because." If I actually have money to spend, I use it with motivation behind it. What Ozzy lyric describes you best? WHOA NOW HUNNY you are asking the WRONG person because I can just about name his entire discography so there are waaaay too many song lyrics to dig through and pick one for myself. Probably something from "Dreamer," after a short moment's consideration. When was the last time you went for a walk without a specific destination in mind? Not since Sara and I walked down the path near her house. We didn't plan on when we would turn around to go back. Do you daydream? Only all the time. What was your last daydream about? Ha, thanks to that other question, visiting Sara again. It'd be nice, but yeah, financial limitations and corona. Ever won the lottery? Bitch I wish. What was the most important decision you made that screwed up your life the most? Ugh... I'd say putting all my self-worth, happiness, and source of peace into one person was pretty big but also fucking stupid. What is love really about? Don't ask a romantic this and expect a non-essay, haha. But to keep it as short as possible, it's about mutual care, the desire to grow together, trust, openness, the peace to be vulnerable with the other... It's about a lot. It's such a deep, beautiful feeling. What's the most you ever made in a year? lol Do you have an online diary? Only through surveys, really. What's the biggest pot you've won in poker? I haven't played poker since I was a kiddo, so idr. What Metallica lyric most describes your life? Who wrote this and knows my favorite bands????? Like damn. There's a good handful of the sadder songs I relate to; I did some brief digging through ones I know I relate to, and perhaps the one I feel closest is within "The Unforgiven II": "The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true. If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you." Aaaand now I'm gonna go binge Metallica 'cuz it's been too long, thanks. How many concerts have you been to? Just one. :/ Which one was your favorite? I've only seen Alice Cooper, and it was great. What's the most illegal thing you've done? Pirated stuff, oops. Ever get busted by the cops? What for? No. How many pairs of rollerblades do/did you own? I doubt I have any anymore. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Ahaha... There is some scratching on my mom's copy of Ozzmosis thanks to me playing it so much on my old CD player. Ever have a tornado in your town? Well my city is pretty damn big, so yes, in some spots. I don't think my immediate proximity has ever seen one, though. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? I would absolutely need something motivating if that was the case, so most likely "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. That song touches me so deeply and gives me the courage to do what I can to tackle life and try not to waste it. I know, I'm doing a great job at that. Ever heard of Shinedown? Hell yeah; I was actually listening to them in the car earlier. What does your lawn furniture consist of? We have nothing out there. Ever live off of canned soup and ramen noodles for weeks at a time? Er, no. But when I got my tongue pierced, I had to survive off of popsicles and... I somehow forgot the main thing I ate???? How?????? But anyway it was something that didn't involve much or any chewing, either. I actually lost a little bit of weight in that week or so because eating solids was impossible, and I didn't enjoy "eating" liquids either. That piercing (snake eyes, btw) was soooo so cute tho. I really wish it hadn't started to damage my teeth, or else I'd still have it. What musical group/artist do you love, but hide from other people? I used to be kinda embarrassed by artists like Melanie Martinez when you compare her music to my adoration of metal, but at my age now, I don't give a damn. I like what I like and won't hide it. What is the first meal you remember eating? ... Does anyone actually remember this??? What's in your keepsake box/scrapbook? Good God, a lot. I haven't looked in it in a very, very long time though. It brings a usually painful nostalgia. What did you score on your SATs? I don't even remember if I took them. I THINK I took the ACT instead? I don't even know the difference. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Hm. Been a while. It's not like I'm out of the house a lot, especially nowadays with quarantine. What colors is your lava lamp? I wish I had a lava lamp, they're rad and really relaxing. What's the strangest thing you've ever hung on the wall? Nothing, really. Can you name every place you've ever had sex? I mean I can but I'm not going to. What's the most important thing you ever lost and never found again? My favorite childhood cat Charcoal. He was an outdoor and intact male, so it was very normal for him to eventually vanish to rove. Please keep your cats indoors. What forms of birth control have you used? The pill and, uh, having "barriers." How many webpages have you created, and can you still find them all? I made Wetpaint sites for my two RP mobs back in the day, but the site has since been completely revised, so no, they don't exist anymore. I checked outta curiosity I think last year. How many people are in your family portrait? We don't even have a proper family portrait. Ever punched a wall? No. When's the last time you really lost your temper? In some argument with Mom I don't remember. Ever thought you (or a girlfriend) were pregnant, but it was a false alarm? I had massive anxiety over it once, but it was irrational and even I knew that. Not that anxiety cares. If 97 is yes, were you glad or sad? I was very glad when my period came lmao. What was the last conversation you had with someone before they died? When I saw my grandma for the last time, I just let her know that I loved her and that she was so, so strong, and she was. No one could believe how long she warded death off when she finally stopped chemo. What do your drinking glasses look like? We have some more unique cups and mugs, but the majority of them are just plain, slightly angular glasses, some short, some tall. How many bottles/containers are in your medicine cabinet? Oh wow, a lot. We're covered for most potential problems. How many funerals have you been to? Uhhh I think one. Maybe even none, just wakes. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant, I think? I just used my fingers. How many computers in your household? There are three laptops, but no desktop computers. Ever help to solve a crime? There was one occasion years ago when our neighbor's window was busted overnight and cops came to us to ask for any evidence we might have had, but we didn't have any. Idk what came of it. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? I've never been pulled over. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? I think it was a margarita, but possibly a daquiri. Ever get published by one of those poetry groups? I fucking wish. I've tried, but to no avail. What's the furthest distance you've moved? Not very far at all. Just to the neighboring town. How many friends from high school/college do you still talk to? Only a few now and then. Girt is the only one I have real conversations with, though. What's the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? Probably the laptop I have right now, but idk. I've never asked how much things they've bought me cost, it seems rude somehow. What's the most expensive thing you've bought? The upcoming revamp of my tattoo. Deposit was $100, and then it's probably going to be another $300-400. I can't afford it all myself; as my birthday gift, Mom is helping me pay for it, but I've got most of it covered thanks to Christmas and birthday money. How many times did you intentionally start to commit suicide? Start to do it? Well, I was trying to run for sharp objects to do it twice, but on each occasion, someone held me back 'cuz they knew I was about to do something rash, so I didn't get very far, thankfully. The only time I fully went through with an attempt was my OD. Ever spent the night in the "loony bin?" How fucking disrespectful to call it that, but whatever. If you put all the instances together, I've been in psych hospitals for around a couple months, maybe more. What is your favorite cover song? Disturbed's cover of "Sound of Silence" is absolutely unbeatable. I'd just about call it a cold hard fact. What's your inspiration? Other's success stories, music, art in general, etc. What's the longest relationship you've been in? Over 3 1/2 years. Did you ever drop out of school? I dropped out of college three times, yikes. Three times is enough; even if I think I want to, I'm never going back. That is just way too much money to keep throwing down the drain, and there's clearly a pattern. Ever raise a child that wasn't your own for more than 3 months? I've never raised a kid period. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? Look up what a pilonidal cyst is and know I had one surgically removed. Pretty strange and uncomf. Song that has changed your attitude recently? None, really. What's something that you say a lot to be mean? ... Why would I try to be mean??? Who told you they loved you last? Me mum. Ever had a pet frog? Not technically, no, but as kids, my sister, neighbor, and I saved hundreds, maybe thousands of tadpole eggs from a ditch that was inevitably going to dry out. We transferred them all to a kiddie pool and let them grow naturally, hopping out and into the world whenever they were ready. I wouldn't call them "pets." Your worst enemy? IT'S NO SURPRIIIISE TO MEEEE I AAAAMMM MY OWN WORST ENEMYYYYY Do you believe in karma? No, but I wish it was a thing. What was the last hurtful thing you said to someone? I'm not sure. I certainly try to avoid doing so. Do you love someone enough you'd die for them? There's multiple people. The last song you listened to? I wasn't joking when I said I was gonna go on a Metallica spree, haha. "Of Wolf and Man" is on rn. Your most favorite memory as a kid? Too many, man. If you had the choice to work or not, would you work? Yes. I need something to do that benefits others in one way or another. Ever TRULY wanted to kill someone? I can't say for sure, if I'm being totally transparent. When I found out about Jason's gf after me, I can say with certainty I wanted her dead beyond dead, but I don't know if I wanted to kill her, per se. Just to clarify, no, I don't wish any negativity upon her now. I was certifiably insane before and certainly don't think I am anymore, so... Marvel or DC? I don't care. Do you watch anime subbed or dubbed? Both. I prefer dubbed, BUT only if the voice acting isn't insufferable. I like dubbed just because for me, it's very distracting to have to keep looking down at subtitles. How often do you exercise? I don't... I'm still waiting for Mom to move into her actual room versus the living room couch so I can do WiiFit with some privacy. I'm too uncomfortable to exercise in front of anyone. What is your favorite book series? Warriors will forever have a very special place in my heart. What is your favorite OTP? I will probably ship Rhett and Link for my entire life. Their friendship is truly incredible and so so SOOOOOOO cute. Who is your favorite Harry Potter character? I've never seen the series, actually.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''holier than thou'' by metallica

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mrsrhys23 · 5 years ago

Note

I wish you'd write a fic where Riley is really worried about the costume ball. I feel like PB did do a great job there, I find it difficult to believe they would all just go back into the ballroom without a fuss after what happened in there at the Homecoming ball I'd also like it if Riley had been shot that night as well as Drake just to make it more scary for her to go back in there.

Thanks for the request Nonny!

I got quite carried away with this and now I have 2077 words...

I agree with you that Riley and everybody else probably wouldn't, in real life, be able to just go back in there after what took place.

Warnings: Angst, PTSD.

Permatag: @itschoicesstuff, @addictedtochoiceslove,@desiree-0816, @cordoniaqueensworld

It was the night after the art gallery that somehow, despite all the odds, Riley managed to make into something salvageable and not a complete disaster, like it was destined to be at the start of the day.

She had been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for most of the night, unable to sleep. Sleep hadn’t been something that had been coming easy for Riley since the homecoming ball.

After spending another half an hour staring at the celling she climbed out of bed and headed to Liam’s room. Liam answered after a few knocks.

“Riley, you alright?” Liam asked, his brow creased in concern.

“Can we talk please?”

“Yes,” Liam nodded, allowing her into his room. They took a seat on his bed. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

“The wedding,” Riley muttered.

“What about it?”

I’m not sure we should go ahead at least until we know who’s behind the assassination attempts and the videos,” Riley explained, twisting her hands together nervously. “At the homecoming ball people got hurt…. another social event like that one, especially with it being the royal wedding its seems like the perfect time for them to try again. The anti- monarchy wants us dead. I know we have to appear that we are not frightened but I am. After I… after I got shot… the wedding, the costume ball tomorrow, I don’t know if I can do it. I’m probably just being stupid, but that thought of being in the sort of situation again Liam…”

“Mara and Bastien will have the security side of everything covered,” Liam reassured, but that did very little to assuage his fiancée’s fears. “Do you really want to postpone the wedding?”

“No. No, I don’t. I’m scared, Liam, I am really, really scared. I want to marry you more than anything. This was all a lot simpler when I came here, when I was ‘the mystery woman’ from New York. Everything I do, every move I make I’m being watched. My life is an open book there for everyone to see. It’s tough. I’m expected to be perfect and I don’t know how to be. I suppose it’s easier for you because you’ve grown up in the spotlight. You probably think I’m being ungrateful,” Riley explained, fighting back a few tears.

“No. I understand,” Liam told her, reaching for her hand.

“It’s not just that… The thought of tomorrows ball….It’s just bringing a lot of memories from that night back…”

Liam squeezed her hand tightly, prompting her to look up at him instead of at her hands in her lap. “Do you maybe want to talk to someone about it?” Liam asked, his thumb rubbing soothing circles along her knuckles.

“The duchess needs counselling,” Riley scoffed, “Wait until the press get hold of that. All that will prove is that the crown was affected.

“You got shot that night people will understand.”

“I’m going to ask Madeline in the morning to set up a press conference. There’s a few things I want to say, and I want It to come from me before it ends up in the papers another way.”

“Okay,” Liam nodded. “It seems like a good idea to probably consult our friends, if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah,” Riley said, giving Liam as small smile.

“We better get some sleep,” Liam suggested.

“Yes. I better go back to my room. Maxwell will be worried if I’m not there as he is my alarm clock,” Riley explained, getting to her feet and walking over to the door with Liam.

“About that…When we can actually sleep in the same bed can we get a proper alarm clock?”

“Yes,” Riley chuckled. “Good night your majesty.”

“Goodnight duchess.”

The next morning Riley met Madeline in the boutique at Kiara’s estate before going outside doing the press conference, that Madeline had set up extremely quickly, then heading back to the palace for the ball later that evening.

“Everything for the conference is set up, now you need something to wear,” Madeleine said, looking through the different clothes on the racks.

“You know Madeline I can pick out my own outfit,” Riley mentioned.

“Yes,” Madeline sighed, turning to face the future monarch, “Do you know what you’re going to say today?”

“Yes. Me and the king discussed it last night.”

“Well I hope that you know what you’re doing.”

I do. As does Liam.”

“I have no doubt that Liam does but you on the other hand, Duchess Riley.”

“Thank you for your concern Madeline but I am getting the hang of this. I have an announcement of my own to make.”

”Just don’t screw it up,” Madeline snarled.

“I won’t.”

The royal couple stepped outside of Kiara’s lovely home and over to the podium that had been set up on the steps, herds of people and press swarming around.

Riley stepped up to the podium, Liam standing just behind her letting her take the lead. She adjusted the microphone slightly, took in a deep breath then started talking.

“So most of, if not all of you are probably wondering why this press conference if even being held. I, as future queen want to feel like I’m doing all that I possibly can…I watch the news, I read the newspapers, I’ve seen the headlines…After the attack, the videos, the orchard it’s getting harder to reassure everyone in the kingdom. You all absolutely have a right to be worried, but we are doing everything in our power to find whoever is doing this. But how can we expect you all to feel like you’re safe if we don’t share the information as we receive it? We have reason to believe it is someone from the anti- monarchy and after their assassination attempts failed they resort to terrorising you, the people of Cordonia. Just because of this it doesn’t mean you have to abandon your normal day to day lives and be scared, because if you do that then they win, I understand that more than most,” Riley said, turning to Liam, who gave her a reassuring smile.

Liam stepped forward, sensing Riley’s reluctance. “As everyone knows the night of the homecoming ball Duchess Riley was very unfortunately injured during the attack at the palace. In an effort to help my fiancée, you’re future queen in getting back to herself she has decided, with the support of myself and our friends to attend some counselling sessions-”

When Riley heard the crowds murmurs she stepped forward again, adjusting the microphone on the podium slightly.

“I know what you must all be thinking....We’ve made out that the crown was not affected and that was wrong, I think everyone in a way was affected by what happened, one way or another. And that’s okay. If we continue to make out we werent then everything we say and do will be dictated by that lie. By the anti- monarchy. I will not be stepping down from any of my royal duties, I hope I will be able to do more afterwards though.

“How did the shooting affect you exactly?” Ana asked, stepping forward in the crowd.

“I nearly died,” Riley blurted out.

“Are you saying that the press and people were misinformed of the severity of your injuries?” Anna asked.

Riley swallowed hard, looking down at the podium then back up at the people. She felt Liam grab her hand, squeezing it tightly. The simple action made her believe she could do this.

“It was a very emotional time,” she explained.

“It’s okay,” Liam whispered in her ear.

“It was not released to the public domain at the time and maybe that was wrong, but I got shot. When you get shot Miss de luca then you can tell me why you wouldn’t want a whole country to know the severity of it. I have never and will never let that get in the way of ruling this kingdom. I will continue to do my best for everyone here, for every man, woman and child and that is a promise. On the unity tour, while we were in Applewood, there were two children who used to play where the orchard was, but they couldn’t because of the scorched ground so we played with them, we spent time with them and that just reminded me of how important our roles are. How many people rely on us. When you are relied upon so much you will not, and you will never let anything, not even a bullet stand in your way. I’m not perfect and I’m done trying to be. I’m just a woman trying to do her best. Isn’t that what everyone here is trying to do? That’s all I have to say on the matter.”

After the Constantine drama, they all returned to the palace. In the early evening, before Riley needed to get changed she trotted through the halls of the palace to the ballroom where staff were finishing all the preparations.

She opened the doors, taking in a deep breath then walked in. Flashes of that night going through her head, she closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly as if that action could make those memories that were flooding back go away.

She turned, facing where it happened. It all happened so quickly, the lights went out, they came back on and she was staring down a barrel of a gun, frozen, unable to move, think. She remembered being tackled to the floor, she remembered Drake landing on her, his blood going everywhere, the fiery pain she felt in her stomach as the world darkened around her, hearing Liam pleading with her to stay awake…

“What are you doing in here?” Drake asked, snapping her out of her daze. Riley opened her eyes, noticing the staff had all left, leaving only her and her friend in the massive ballroom.

“Tonight we’re supposed to come back in here and act like nothing happened…This is the first time I’ve been back in here,” Riley explained.

“Me too.”

“I’m glad the unity tour is over.. But being back properly at the palace especially tonight… I just don’t know if I can do it. I thought maybe coming in here now before tonight would I don’t know… Do you ever think about that night?” She asked, turning to him.

“No,” he insisted shaking his head.

“Really?” she asked, her eyes widening, she thought about it all the time.

“Well occasionally,” Drake shrugged.

“We still don’t know how they got in.”

“But at least precautions have been put in place.”

“Yeah but…”

“At the homecoming ball it was unexpected, no one thought it was even a possibility. But this time everyone’s ready. You need to stop worrying about it Brooks,” Drake said, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“You know Neville’s going to be here, right?” Riley said, eager to change the subject.

“Don’t remind me,” Drake grumbled, “I promise I will try my best not to punch him.”

“He is irritating,” she agreed.

“I thought the future queen was supposed to like everyone?”

“I can just about tolerate him but liking him? Never,” Riley shuddered, causing herself to smile and Drake.

“How are you, Brooks?”

“I’m Fine. why?”

“After the press conference...”

“Yeah, that was eventful,” Riley reminisced. “I know marrying Liam that the press will always be involved, but it’s just… it’s exhausting. Questions about that…I just don’t know how to answer them without yelling at her. Sometimes I just wish we were all normal and did normal things.

“Normal? Normal is overrated. And me and you we were normal. Would you really want to go back to that?”

“No, well maybe sometimes.”

“’Sometimes’ meaning when your yelling at the press?”

“Yeah,” Riley nodded, “Me and Liam are being announced together to night. I can’t believe this is actually happening, that we’re actually getting married. When that stuff with Tariq happened and then he was engaged to madeleine and it was all just a mess and it wasn’t that long ago. At the coronation it all fell apart, and I can’t help but feel it will again.”

“It won’t. Your marrying Liam in two weeks,” Drake told her.

“A lot can go wrong in two weeks. It took five minutes for that to happen.”

“Oh, you need to lighten up Brooks. You really do,” Drake advised.

“Drake?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you,” Riley smiled, pulling him into a hug.

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toomanysurveys9 · 4 years ago

Text

Ready to answer 151 Questions? 1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? January 2020. 2. Do you like to party? I really enjoy it a lot less than I used to. I would rather be at home with my babies. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? He’s in prison and I’m married and uninterested... SOOOO I would probably slap him. 4. Are you a virgin? I have two kids. So obviously not.

5. What are your parents views on your relationships? I don’t really know what my dad thinks. My mom goes back and forth. She loves Jacob and knows I love him, but hates the way he treats me a majority of the time.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? I’m married. So... there’s that. 7. Is your best friend dating anyone? My mom is married to my dad. Jacob is married to me. And Kayla is back with her youngest’s dad, which is cool. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? Big and dark gray. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? I don’t care what other people wear. 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? I do that every single day. It’s very rare for me to wear makeup. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? On myself... I hate my teeth and gums. 12. Would people describe you as happy? They might. 13. Are you single? I’m very not single. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? Not really. I mean. It gets a bit annoying because it’s a boring question but it’s also whatever. 15. Do you have Tumblr? Obviously.

16. What about Xanga? Nope. 17. Have you ever babysat before? Many, many times. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? There were some teachers I haven’t enjoyed having in the past. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? I bought a gift card for Kay once. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? I’m assuming I’d move with him since we’re married..

21. Do you have any university plans?

I am currently getting my master’s degree in marriage and family therapy. Have no plans to go beyond that.

22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do?

It would completely shock me if my mom did, although our relationship wouldn’t change. If Jacob did, I would probably be devastated since we’ve been together so long and have two kids... I wouldn’t care much if Kay did.

23. What are your views on sex?

It’s fine if you’re both of age and it’s consensual. I don’t have much of a sex drive these days, which upsets Jacob sometimes. But I’m just so tired. All the time.

24. Do sexual questions bother you?

Nope.

25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up?

He’s my husband, and I don’t want a divorce.

26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?

I did when I was younger and again when we got engaged.

27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’?

I don’t enjoy it, but you can do what you want, as long as you’re not hurting other people.

28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook?

I have never had to deal with that, so I’m not sure what I would do.

29. Would you ever date a friends Ex?

I feel like there would be a lot of things that would factor into that decision, but currently, nope.

30. What’s the last book you read?

I don’t remember. It was a children’s book at work.

31. Ready for 10 simple questions?

Sure thing.

32. What is your last name?

Shh.

33. What grade are you in?

I just started my first year of graduate school about 3 weeks ago.

34. What school do you go to?

Northcentral University.

35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring?

Spring and Fall are my favorites.

36. Favorite Color?

Black and blue.

37. Are your parents together?

They are.

38. Any siblings?

Four sisters and one brother. All younger.

39. Favorite subject?

I’ve always loved all things psychology related, except research methods, and english.

40. Least favorite subject? All things math. 41. Favorite song? Slow Down by Nichole. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? I don’t care. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? No clue. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? Yeah. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? Yup. 46. Have a Formspring? Nope. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Sell them if they don’t want to. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? Either!!! 49. Been to Disney world? No but I will someday! 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? Nope. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Yeah. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? Yeah. Yelled at my kids... 54. Ever drank alcohol? Yup. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? Weed at least. 56. Ever watched The Hills? Nope. 57. What about Jersey Shore? Nope. 58. Ever called someone a slut? Not seriously that I recall. 59. What do you think of short shorts? Not for me. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? Nope. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? Many times. 62. What about a B? ^^^ 63. And a C? A few. 64. How about a D? No. 65. Ever skived? Huh? 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? Outcast for sure. 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? My age. Or older. 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? Yup. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? Kind of. 70. Ever watched porn? Yeah. Wasn’t into it. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? Speeding. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? Yup. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Wednesdays. Jacob has them off from Papa John’s. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? Not likely. 75. Ever performed in a talent show? No. 76. Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. I hate it too. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? No, although I’m closer to my mom. 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? I did and didn’t get past the producers. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Chris Pratt, and Johnny Depp. 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. Kirsten Vangsness, Monica Raymund, Hilary Duff, I can’t think of more. 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Nooo. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? I don’t think so. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? I wouldn’t do it. 86. Are you opinionated? On some things. 87. Do you have a favorite store? Children clothing stores, like Carter’s or the Children’s Place. Barnes and Noble. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? Not likely. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? I have a couple boot cut pairs. 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? I pretty much wear the same few outfits all week. I only have so many work appropriate shirts. 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? I graduated college in 2016 and just went back to get my master’s about three weeks ago. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? Yeah. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? Nope. Why would it? 94. Own a pair of converse? I do. They’re my favorite. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? What I am doing now is online and not like a typically school.

96. If yes, are you one of them? ^^^

97. Do you text in class? I did. And I do text while doing school stuff now, although not often. 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to brands. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” I don’t know. 100. Do you want to lose weight? Yeah, I do. A lot of it. Like. 100 pounds. Ha. 101. Ever seen a therapist? I have. 102. Ever watched porn? I have, but not really for myself. I didn’t really enjoy it. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text? I have. 104. A facebook message? I have. 105. A poke? Yup. 106. A friend request? Many times. 107. Would you say you read into things too much? Oh, I’m sure. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? Suggesting. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) I don’t think so. 110. Ever been called a bully? Not that I can recall. Because I never bullied people. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? Many times. 112. Ever gone to church? I used to. Years ago. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? NO. 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I would not want to be exactly like her. But there are a lot of good things I would be happy to inherit. 115. What do you want to do with your life? I’m going to become a marriage and family therapist.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? I do. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? I don’t dress up. My kids do though. I don’t know what they’re going to be. Wyatt might be spiderman again. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? I take my babies. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? Celebrities. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? I don’t really care. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? I do not. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? Probably. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? I don’t remember. 124. Last TV Show? Uhhh. Maybe Criminal Minds? 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? I wouldn’t likely care. 126. Ever been called a whore? I don’t think so. But it’s possible. 127. Are you american? I am. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? On a dare - Kayla and/or Brittany. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? Gross. 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? It’s been years since anyone said that, but no, it didn’t bother me. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? We’re married and have been together many years. I would hope I could have intelligent conversations with him at this point. 133. Ever had the lead in a play? No. 134. What about a solo in a concert? I did once in high school. 135. What kind of a student are you? I’m a good student. I’ve always done very well. 136. Worst subject? I have always hated math. 137. Best subject? English or history. 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? It’s super impossible so I would be pretty confused. 140. How late do you sleep in? I have to be up by 7:20ish. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? Sometimes I use filters. 142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? I am the ugly friend, 100%. 143. Do you believe in love? Obviously. 144. Would you consider yourself a good student? Yeah.. 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” I don’t care. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? Depends on my mood but usually salty or sweet. 147. Are you going into High School this year? Nope. Graduated 2012. 148. What about Junior High? Heck no. Ha. 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? That someone I love was seriously hurt or died. 150. Where did you find this note? @lovemesomesurveys :) 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? I have no idea since Wyatt is using it.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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lilacmoon83 · 5 years ago

Text

Dreaming Out Loud

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 112: Thanks for the Memories

Ravenna returned to her castle and looked around, pleased now that it was all hers.

"You certainly made quite an impression at the ball tonight," Hans mentioned, as he leaned against the wall in her Throne room.

"And I trust you kept your presence discreet, baby brother?" she questioned.

"Relax...no one knew I was around. I have no desire to be made into an ice sculpture, courtesy of Queen Elsa," Hans responded.

"Yes...the ice Queen seems to be friends with my ex-husband's family. I don't have to tell you how problematic that is for us," Ravenna said.

"It's a bit more than problematic, wouldn't you say? Your ex-step-daughter's mother is Persephone," he reminded.

"I know who she is!" Ravenna snapped at him.

"What do you think held me back from grinding that little retch to dust beneath my heel all those years?" she questioned, as she went to the window that now overlooked the United Realms. It was truly beautiful. All the Kingdoms in all the realms now in one place and she was determined to be the one to rule it all. She just didn't know how to make that happen yet. But she had made some allies that evening that might be helpful in her conquest.

"Which is why we should feel lucky we're still standing at all and we have our Kingdom," Hans reasoned.

"Oh no, baby brother...I'm not stopping at this," she replied, as she turned to him.

"I'm going to pick up where Arawn left off and I will rule all the realms," she claimed.

"Are you insane?" Hans questioned.

"Even if Persephone and the rest of the Gods weren't a problem, they still have a ton of magic on their side. Queen Elsa, Snow White's daughter, the Savior, and even the Dark One is clearly sided with them," he reminded.

"And we may have the Chernabog on ours. Persephone and Hades had to trap him in a mountain, because the Gods couldn't defeat his raw power and now that he is merged with a diabolical mind like Judge Frollo's...the possibility of striking down the Gods of Olympus is no longer impossible," she said.

"I've heard the things his cauldron is capable of doing. He hasn't even begun to use and harness its true power," she continued.

"Dalben decided not to stand with me and paid a very grave price for such betrayal. The question is...will you make the same mistake, baby brother?" Ravenna questioned. Hans gave her a long stare and then relented.

"I stand with you, dear sister," he said. She smirked and then returned to looking out over the United Realms.

~*~

Snow gently checked on the baby, as he slept in the car seat. They had come to the loft to pack the rest of their things. They could have had her mother help them do it with magic, but they felt it was something they wanted to do personally. After all, the loft was their first home they shared as a family and it was very special to all of them.

Snow looked around at the empty space and smiled at the memories. So many memories from a time where she didn't have her memories, but somehow she still treasured those days as Mary Margaret, the school teacher that found herself being romanced by the mysterious amnesiac coma patient.

~*~

Flashback

David found Mary's building easily enough and saw her outside by the tree where a birdhouse hung from it. His wife had always loved birds and animals alike. And the feeling was mutual for the birds and animals as well. So it didn't surprise him that she was filling the feeder with food while waiting for him. She looked beautiful as always in a dark purple dress that was knee length and buttoned up the front, complete with a pink cardigan. Unfortunately, he saw her wobble on the ladder and hurried over, hopping over the fence in one leap.

She cried out in alarm, as she felt herself start to fall and tumbled right into his arms. He caught her and held her bridal style for several moments, as they simply stared into each other's eyes.

"I'm so clumsy," she muttered in embarrassment.

"Good thing I was here, I guess," he replied with a smile. She hummed in agreement, as he gently set her on her feet.

"Are you ready?" he asked. She nodded and their hands touched. She looked up at him in surprise. She wasn't sure why she had done that. For a split second, her unconscious reaction had been to reach for his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. He seemed to feel the same, as he gently took her hand in his own.

~*~

She still got butterflies at the memories of those simple days and falling in love with David as Mary Margaret. She may have been cursed, but she wouldn't give up those days for anything. Then there was Emma. Getting to become her daughter's friend, before getting to be her mother again was also a very precious thing to Snow.

~*~

Flashback

"Oh Emma...I didn't hear you come in," Mary said, as she came out of the bathroom in a robe.

"Clearly...you seem like you had a good night," she teased. Mary blushed and bit her bottom lip.

"It was wonderful...I'm still wondering if I'm going to wake up and find out it was all a dream," she gushed. Emma smiled.

"I'm happy for you," the blonde replied.

"Thanks...but your night obviously didn't go well at all," Mary said, as she fished a carton of ice cream out of the freezer.

"Rocky road?" she asked.

"You said it was your favorite so I picked some up," she replied. Mary handed her the carton and got a couple of spoons out.

"So...what happened?" she asked, as they started eating.

"Graham asked me to work tonight so he could volunteer at the animal shelter tonight. But then I was on patrol and saw him going into Regina's house. And believe me, he wasn't there on police business," Emma grumbled.

"Oh...oh Emma, I'm so sorry," Mary replied.

"Yeah...and it's not just that I thought there might be something there, but that he lied to me. Oh, and the fact that he's screwing the Mayor with my son in the house. Pretty sure that's what pisses me off the most," Emma growled. Mary reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked. Emma smiled at her.

"You are. I don't usually have anyone to talk to, so thanks," she replied. Mary nodded with a smile.

"So...your date with David was good?" Emma asked, enjoying her blush.

"Yeah...it was perfect. We had dinner and talked and laughed. Then we went on a walk and I've...just never had anyone make me feel special like he did. He wanted to listen to me talk. It doesn't sound like much...but when you feel invisible like I have all my life, it meant everything," Mary confessed and Emma squeezed her hand.

"And of course, I'm guessing there was a kiss or two," Emma added and Mary blushed.

"How did you know?" she asked. Emma grinned.

"You're a very interesting shade of red," the blonde teased.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" the teacher asked.

"I am...but I'm thrilled for you. You deserve to be happy," Emma said.

"So do you, Emma," Mary replied. She smiled thinly and nodded. Maybe when the curse was broken, she'd find true happiness when her parents had their memories and she got her son back from Regina. Until then, she would enjoy being a friend to Mary, as she found her way back to being Snow White.

~*~

She teared up at those memories. Her daughter had been so close and going from friends to mother and daughter might have been much more difficult had it not been for their coveted time in the dreamscape. It had truly been their saving grace and all thanks to a mother she had not even known existed. Snow got to experience being her mother's friend first too, before she was lucky enough to live a reality being raised by her as well.

~*~

Flashback

"Excuse me...are you Miss Blanchard?" she asked. Mary looked up to see a beautiful woman with raven colored hair, much like her own, though this woman's hair cascaded down her back in waves. She also had green eyes, behind a pair of smart looking black rimmed glasses that seemed to fit well with her pressed pantsuit.

"I...I am," she said. The woman smiled.

"I'm Stephanie Kore, the new high school botany teacher," she introduced herself.

"Oh...it's nice to meet you. I can't even remember the last time we got a new teacher," Mary said with a smile.

"It's lovely to meet you too. I am going around to the other classrooms to introduce myself. I only have a couple classes a day and so I've been looking for more students to help with the gardens I want to plant on campus. Unfortunately, none of the other teachers seem much interested in devoting precious class time to such," she said. That was a fib. Mary's class was the only one she had been to so far.

"Oh that's too bad...but I'd love to volunteer. Planting a garden sounds like a wonderful experience for my students," she said. Stephanie smiled.

"Wonderful...I'm so glad," she replied.

~*~

Snow sighed and looked around again. Their first home together, all of them, including Henry and her mother. This was the place that David had declared his love for Mary Margaret and made love to her. The memory of that night still gave her goosebumps.

~*~

Flashback

"You and Emma could have died tonight," she mentioned.

"Hey...Emma and I aren't going anywhere," he assured.

"I want to believe that. But...David, I'm not the girl that gets the good guy. I'm the one in the corner, alone and living vicariously through others or characters in a book. I don't get the Prince Charming of the story," she confessed. He pressed his lips to hers again.

"Guess it's a good thing I don't see a girl then. I see a woman that's beautiful and kind; one that I'm very much in love with," he said, taking a leap. He knew it was early, but he didn't think he would scare her away at this point. What they had between them was too strong to be kept back by the curse. Snow was inside Mary and he saw more and more glimpses of her everyday. As he expected, the look on her face was one of shock, like she could hardly believe someone could love her. For that, his loathing of Regina increased ten fold, if that was possible.

"You love me?" she squeaked.

"From the moment I first saw you," he answered. It was true, even if that first moment was something different for them both right now.

"I love you too…" she said. He smiled and pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. She hummed into his kiss and found her fingers sliding into his hair, as their kissing intensified, until their breathing was coming in ragged gasps.

"Do...do you have to go?" she asked breathlessly, as he kissed her neck.

"Not if you don't want me to," he replied.

"I...I don't," she stammered.

"I mean...I don't want you to leave. I...I want to be with you," she said, swallowing thickly.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for," he replied.

"You love me. You want me. No one has ever wanted me or loved me," she said, with a hitch in her voice.

"No one you can remember, my darling," he thought silently. He hated Regina for making his wife believe she had no one.

"I'm want you and I love you. That will never change," he promised. She smiled and they stood up, as she took his hand, leading him over to her bed. She closed the curtain around her bed and then turned to him.

She was already trembling in anticipation and wanted him more than anything she had ever wanted. Her hands shook, as she slid them up his neck and to his face, as he stared down at her with so much passion and love that it took her breath away. Without taking her gaze away from him, she slowly undid the buttons on his shirt and it fell forgotten to the floor. She took a sharp intake of breath, as she gazed upon his shirtless torso with hunger. He was so handsome and she didn't think she quite measured up, but he was about to prove her wrong.

Her cardigan fell away next and she held her arms up, allowing him to pull the sleeveless blouse beneath it over her head, tossing it to the floor. He drank her in with a hungry stare and lowered his lips to hers again, kissing her deeply. She gasped, as he pulled her flush against him and their skin made contact. He broke the kiss and rested his hands her on her hips, as he gazed at her.

"You are so beautiful," he rasped, as he pressed their foreheads together. She pressed her lips to his again eagerly, as their lips moved feverishly together.

David kissed at the tops of her breasts and her hands fumbled with his belt. His pants fell to a puddle on the floor and he stepped out of them, parting his lips from hers only long enough to kick them away. She moaned, as she felt the bulge in his underwear pressing against her belly.

"David…" she uttered, as he snapped the clasp on her bra. He was definitely appreciating the simple nature of her undergarments in this realm, though he was proud to boast that he had learned to make quick work of her corsets. Need curled in her and she bit her bottom lip, as she slowly divested him of his underwear. She lay her eyes on his bare form and he captured her lips in a needy kiss. He slipped his hands into her underwear and it slid down her legs, as there was finally nothing but skin between them. Their lips parted briefly and they pressed their foreheads together again, simply staring at each other. She then yelped slightly, as he swept her into his arms and carried to the bed. She looked up at him in awe and he smiled at her.

"I figure if I am your Prince Charming, then I should carry you off like a proper Princess, before I make love to you," he said, they sunk into the bed and then into each other, as passion consumed them.

~*~

"Hey...you were a million miles away. Are you okay, my darling?" he asked, as she turned to him and saw that he had the last of their stuff packed up. She nodded.

"Just a bit lost down memory lane. This place was very special to us," she mentioned. He smiled and looked around. It really did. It was his first home with her in this new land, where he knew he would have been lost without her and Emma.

"It does...you know we don't have to leave it if you really don't want to. I'm sure your mother can add some more magical extensions," he replied.

"I know she could...but I think it's time for a new chapter and I do love the idea of raising our baby in the same garden that my real parents raised me in our alternate reality," she mentioned. He smiled and put his arms around her waist, before dropping a kiss to her cheek.

"Me too, my darling…" he agreed.

"I think we're just about all packed," Emma said, as she and Henry came back in and looked around. She joined her parents in a family hug, as did Henry.

"This place has a lot of good memories," Emma mentioned.

"Besides the dreamscape...this was my first home with my parents," she added. That did it and tears began to fall down Snow's cheeks, as she hugged their daughter. David hugged her and cradled her head, while putting his other arm around Henry.

"But the castle is great too...I know we're going to make great memories there too," Emma said, as she held her mother's hands.

"I'm so glad that you still want to live with us. I mean, we'd understand if you wanted your own place. You're an adult, after all," Snow said. But the blonde shook her head.

"I may be an adult, but I love being with you guys. I'm not going anywhere," she promised.

"Besides, it's a castle so there's lots of room," she added.

"Then you're truly okay with Regina being there too?" Snow asked. Emma smiled.

"Completely," she agreed, as she put her arm around Henry.

"I think the three of us are starting to get the hang of this whole co-parenting thing and she's really trying this time," Emma agreed, making Snow tear up again.

"Well, if you're all done being weepy and sentimental, let's be on our way," Regina interjected from the doorway.

"Right," David said, as he picked up the baby's car seat and the dwarves filed in for the rest of their boxes. With one last look, Snow turned away and followed her family out.

~*~

Belle opened the curtains and let the sunlight in, as Neal carried in a few more boxes.

"I think that's all of it," he mentioned.

"I'm so glad you're going to be living here with us, at least part of the time," Belle mentioned. He nodded.

"Well, Emma and I are good, but I don't think we're quite ready to live together yet. And Dad and I have a lot of time to make up for. Plus, Henry will be here with me sometimes too," Neal replied, as she admired the library that Rumple had gifted her so long ago. She had decided she was still going to run the library in town and he was still going to run the pawn shop, but they opted to move back into the castle.

"I do want to change these curtains though," Belle mentioned.

"What's wrong with the curtains?" Rumple asked.

"They're dark and dreary," she protested.

"This is the Dark Castle," he reminded.

"Not anymore. This is a new beginning for all of us and we shouldn't start this new life shrouded in the darkness of the past," Belle argued. Rumple sighed and waved his hand, as he changed the curtains to something light colored and airy looking, which instantly brightened the room.

"Much better," Belle agreed, making Neal chuckle.

"You know, I'm not sure I'm okay with taking all the fear out of this place. I still am the Dark One and have a reputation to protect," he reminded.

"Everyone still knows you are the Dark One. You don't have to be scary to remind them," she argued, as she went about arranging some fresh flowers on the table.

"Belle…" he started to protest.

"Come on, the garden is in a ghastly state," she told him, as she took him by the hand and dragged him outside.

"Belle...it's supposed to be ghastly. It's a deterrent," he argued.

"You're enough deterrent for most people. I want a real garden with flowers and one that wildlife won't fear," she argued back, making Neal chuckle. If there was one person that could get their way with his father, it was definitely Belle. He took his box of stuff and headed upstairs to set up his room, as well as one for Henry when he visited.

~*~

Landon followed his new companion over the Toll bridge, listening to his story with barely concealed contempt. The whole thing was absolutely ludicrous.

"And almost just as quickly as the town disappeared...it was back again with another dark cloud. Only this time, it seems they brought fairytale land back with them. I still don't really know what that's all about, but it's probably why you managed to get swept up inside. You were probably smack dab in the middle of the where the town used to be when it returned. Otherwise, you would have never found it," Greg explained.

"Do you know what you sound like with all of this?" Landon questioned.

"Certifiable, I'm sure...but it doesn't make it any less true," Greg retorted.

"You just told me that the flying kid back there is Peter Pan and his shadow, which was ripping other people's shadows away. But if that wasn't enough, he was joined by the lost boys, Hades and Persephone, and their daughter Snow White and her husband Prince Charming!" he argued. Greg sighed.

"Yeah...it's insane, but like it said, it's all true. Magic, fairy tales, mythology...it's all real," he added.

"And almost thirty years ago, my father and I were camping right here. There was no bridge and that night, a violent storm moved through. It messed with the radio and the engine on my dad's truck, because it wouldn't start the next morning," Greg explained.

"So we started walking and much to our surprise, the bridge here wasn't the only thing that magically appeared. Before us was an entire town sprawled out before us that wasn't on the map and hadn't been there the night before," he continued.

"We ventured into town to get the truck fixed and met Mayor Regina Mills, who wasn't at all happy to see strangers in her town," Greg added.

"So she killed your father?" Landon asked.

"Not yet...that came later. She actually grew attached to us and decided that we shouldn't leave. But when my dad insisted, she got the Sheriff and tried to stop us. My Dad was captured and I ran for help. But when I finally got some cops to bring me back here, it was all gone. I looked for this town for twenty-nine years before I finally found it again," Greg explained.

"And you're sure your father is dead?" Landon asked.

"Buried here...at our campsite, or that's what the Queen told me," Greg responded. Landon raised an eyebrow.

"The Queen?" he asked incredulously.

"Regina...the Evil Queen," Greg clarified.

"Of course," the former detective deadpanned, as they began to dig.

"And so if we find a body...what exactly do you expect me to do?" Landon asked.

"Isn't it obvious? If you have a body...the FBI will want to open an investigation and that means they'll need to get in here. I will finally expose this place to the world and that magic is real. I'll have my revenge," Greg replied.

"Revenge?" Landon asked.

"People fear what they don't understand. Believe it or not, there is technology capable of controlling magic. Once the world finds out about this place, we'll let them in and there will be no turning back from that. Plus, the woman that murdered my father will spend the rest of her life in some horrible federal prison instead of the castle she's sleeping in tonight," he growled, as the tip of his shovel hit something hard. Greg stopped and dug into the dirt. His breath caught in his throat, as he extracted a skull from the ground.

"Holy crap…" Landon uttered.

"I knew it…" Greg hissed. Landon took a picture of the skull and sent it to his friend at the FBI.

"You may just get what you want…"

~*~

James looked out over the Kingdom from the balcony of the King's chambers. It was surreal. This may have been the castle he grew up in, but these days, it felt foreign to him. His Knights had informed him earlier that George had tried to lay claim to his Throne once he realized it had returned, but was steadfastly refused. James was King now and George's ousting by his brother and sister-in-law still stood in stone. And James was not about to lift the banishment. He now had his real family living with him. He was a bit surprised they had chosen to live with him over David. He was so sure they would choose his brother over him. But they hadn't and he wondered if it was because they thought he needed them more. He resented that a bit if it was the case though. He didn't want them to be with him out of pity. But one look at their faces told the true story. They were proud of him and wanted to be with him. They had more lost time with him to make up, after all. He had already crowned his adopted mother,

Serafina, as Queen mother, returning her to her Throne and rightful place. His biological parents, though not together, were also easily co-existing as well. Plus, it wasn't like they weren't all visiting David and Snow as well. They truly loved him and that wasn't something James was used to yet. But he certainly found that he was getting accustomed to it. This was his Throne now, but he would not be the kind of King that George had tried to raise him to be. He would be the kind of King that he knew his mothers would want him to be. This was his second chance and he was truly ready to embrace it.

~*~

Hades and Persephone entered the eerie inner chamber of Bald Mountain, where the hellfire in the pit that once held the Chernabog remained dormant.

"I hate this place…" she mentioned.

"I'm not fond of it either. When we imprisoned the black God here...it was with the intent that we would never have to set foot in here again," he added, as they joined hands and peered down at the churning magma that had come directly from the pits of Tartarus.

"Did you bring it?" he asked. She nodded and an ornate bottle appeared in her hand.

"Hecate assured that it has the correct enchantments and will contain hellfire," she said.

"Do I want to know where she even got that?" Hades questioned.

"It's made from the skin of deceased Titans, dipped in the blood of the most wicked in the depths of Tartarus, and then frozen by the wailing in the river Cocytus," she answered.

"Sorry I asked," he deadpanned, as he waved his hand and the magma twisted into a cyclone of lava. Persephone uncorked the bottle and sucked the magical hellfire into the confines of the bottle, before corking it again.

"That was the easy part. Now using it on Pan is the real trick," Persephone said. He nodded.

"Pan's demise has been a long time coming. He has been the Underworld's best customer for too long and it's time to stop that reign of terror," he stated.

"You have a plan?" she asked. He smirked.

"He's expecting us to attack...so maybe that's exactly what we should do," he replied cryptically. She didn't know exactly what he had in mind, but she trusted him now and knew that if anyone could outsmart Pan, it would probably be her husband. Rumpelstiltskin would be next on her list for that, but he was still subject to Pan's manipulations. The former still knew exactly how to manipulate his son and pull at his heartstrings. But the same couldn't be said for her husband and they wouldn't hesitate to put a final end to this particular demon...

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming family #Swanfire #Rumbelle #Regina Mills #Henry Mills #hades and persephone #AU #romance #family #adventure #greek mythology meets farytales #dreaming out loud

7 notes · View notes

captainamerivel · 5 years ago

Text

endgame

read part one , civil war , and part two , infinity war

a/n : the conclusion :) thanks for sticking by me on this short foray into the world of avengers fanfiction. i think i like it here. maybe i’ll still around for a little while. THIS INSTALLMENT INCLUDES MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS (there are actual endgame quotes in here and major plot points are here too). DON’T READ IF YOU’VE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE YET!

word count : 4.9k

tags : @batfam16

Steve watched in horror as you turned to dust before his very eyes.

“Steve?”

“Y/N?”

“Steve!”

Steve shot up out of bed, soaked in sweat. Just a dream, Rogers. It was just a dream.

His heart was beating too fast to even consider going back to sleep. It’d been three weeks since he’d watched you fade away, along with half of everyone else on Earth. He couldn’t cry anymore, couldn’t physically create tears after what had happened. Nothing hurt worse than watching you die right in front of him. There was nothing he could do about it then and nothing he could now. And that killed him inside.

He glanced over at the clock. 4:15AM. No one else in the compound would possibly be up right now.

Tossing the blanket from his body, Steve made quick work of getting up and changing into a new shirt. Heading down to the kitchen, he was surprised to find Natasha standing there eating a sandwich. She looked exhausted. “Couldn’t sleep?”

He shook his head. “Bad dreams. You?”

“Same.” Nat let out a deep breath. “Carol’s still out there looking for Tony. She hasn’t checked in in days.”

“She’ll find him.” Steve poured himself a glass of water, sipping slowly.

“Steve, she’s been out there for weeks. We should prepare for – “

“Don’t say it!” His fingers tightened around the glass, causing it to crack. “She’ll find him, and he’ll know what to do. He’ll know how to bring everyone back.”

Natasha stared at her friend, tears welling in her eyes. “We’ll get her back, Steve.”

“I sure hope so.”

Everything reminded him of you. Not a day went by when you didn’t occupy at least ninety percent of Steve’s thoughts. Some days, he missed you so much, he couldn’t physically move.

He left the compound six months after the snap, going back to the apartment he’d had before you. All pictures of you were kept in a box at the foot of his closet; all except one. That one stayed in his wallet, although after a few years it had started fading, so he tried not to pull it out as much.

It got easier after a while. Day by day, month by month, it hurt just a touch less. Eventually it got to the point where he remembered you with only a dull ache in his heart. He never forgave himself though, never stopped blaming your death on his own failure.

“You’re pulling your punches, Grimith.”

Steve swung at the CIA agent in front of him and she ducked, landing a right hook into his abdomen.

“That’s better. Follow through.” She swung again, hitting his hand pads a few times before kicking one of his legs, forcing him to kneel.

“I’m so sorry!” She rushed, kneeling next to him as he grimaced in pain.

“Don’t. Apologize.” He took a deep breath, rising and offering her a hand. “Combat isn’t a fair trade off of blows. You see an opening, you take it.”

His alarm went off, alerting him that he had half an hour to get to his next appointment. “Same time next week?”

“You know,” She started slowly as Steve held open the rope for her to climb out of the ring. “We could always talk outside of training. Perhaps over dinner or drinks?”

Steve froze. This wasn’t the first time one of his trainees had expressed interest in him.

He gave Grimith a soft smile. “Thanks, but I try not to mix my personal life with my professional life.”

“Of course.” He could hear the slight sting of rejection in her voice. “Same time next week, Captain.”

He quickly unwrapped his hands, stripped and hopped into one of the gym’s showers. The hot water was soothing over his aching muscles. The gym had become like a second home to him. He threw himself in working out and training others; took his mind off the rest of the world. He felt bad for lying to Grimith, but he wasn’t fully ready to try and start something new. He wasn’t ready to move on from you.

Twenty minutes later, Steve was completely cleaned and across the street, setting up donuts and coffee for his group counseling session. People started trickling in slowly, and within just a few minutes, all of the seats were filled.

“Good evening, everyone.”

“Good evening.”

“Does anyone want to start us off?”

There was a thick silence as everyone looked around at each other.

“What about you Steve?” The man to his left, Anthony, asked. “We’ve been coming to these meetings every week for the past year and a half, yet no one’s heard your side of the story.”

Steve looked around, everyone seeming to be in agreeance.

“Okay.” He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat. “In 1945, I met a woman named Peggy Carter. She was amazing. Beautiful, smart, tough as all hell. But I laid down my life for my country and in doing so, secured the fact that we would never have a future together. When I was recovered and woke up in 2012, she was still alive, but she’d moved on. Got married, had children. She lived a full life and encouraged me to move on and do the same.”

Steve’s throat was getting tight, but he pushed on. “I never planned on falling in love after Peggy. I was okay with just defending the world until I died. Then, two years later, I met Y/N and my whole world changed completely. As cheesy as it may sound, she turned my whole life around. I wasn’t just fighting to make the world a better place. I was fighting to make the world better for her. Everything I did was for her at that point. But I screwed it up when I became a fugitive in 2016. I thought I was protecting her when I left, but I’d just unknowingly pushed her closer to danger.”

Steve stopped, willing himself to not cry. Anthony gave him a comforting pat on the arm. “You’re in a safe space, Steve.”

“Thanks.” Steve took a deep breath. “She fought next to me in the Battle of Wakanda. We had an agreement; She wasn’t supposed to die, and I wasn’t supposed to let her die. Thanos’ snap didn’t care about our agreement. She dusted right in front of me, and because of her enhancements, she felt it the whole damn time.”

He couldn’t help the tears at that point. “I keep wondering to myself, if I hadn’t let her, if she hadn’t been out there with me, would she still be here today?”

“You can’t think like that Steve.” The woman across from him held out a box of tissues, which he took graciously. “You said it yourself, Thanos wiped out half of all life at random. There’s no way of knowing if any of our choices had any influence on what happened. All we can do is move forward and figure out our lives one day at a time.”

Steve nodded. “She was a better person than I was. Compassionate, loving. Now, I’m just hoping to live a life that she’d be proud of.”

“And I’m sure she would be.” Steve looked over at Anthony. “You make a noble living, teaching self-defense at the gym. You never hesitate to help out those in need. You’re a good soldier, Steve, but more than that, you’re a good man.”

“Thank you.” Steve quickly pulled himself together. “Anyone else want the spotlight?”

Everyone shook their heads. “Then I guess we’ll call it a night. Of course, I’ll be here next Wednesday night at six if anyone thinks they still need help.”

There was a buzz of conversation as everyone got up to leave, saying their goodbyes. Steve made quick work of cleaning up, folding chairs and sweeping just to make the janitors' job a little easier.

Returning to his apartment, Steve pulled down the box of pictures and sat on the bed to look through them. With every photo, his smile grew. You sleeping, you hiding from his camera, the two of you kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. He didn’t notice that he’d been crying again until a tear hit the laminated paper.

Every week, Steve’s life continued like that. Training five days a week, counseling every Wednesday, distracting himself with mindless work like repairing his bike. Day in and day out, Steve kept himself busy, kept himself moving to try and keep himself from giving up.

There was one week though that threw him off. Something just felt wrong, so after that Wednesday’s meeting, he took a detour and found himself at the old Avenger’s compound.

Natasha sat in front of a miserable peanut butter sandwich, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried not to have a full meltdown.

Steve propped himself against a bookshelf and looked at her with a heavy heart, “You know, I’d offer to cook you dinner, but you seem pretty miserable already.”

Nat looked up with a small smile. “You hear to do your laundry?” “And to see a friend.”

Talking to Nat was so comforting to Steve, a comfort he hadn’t allowed himself to indulge in for years. It reminded him of simpler times, easier times when his biggest issue was an army of artificially intelligent robots. He was so caught up with her that he was genuinely startled when Scott Lang popped up on the security cameras.

Steve was on his feet in a second. “Is this an old message?”

“It’s the front door.”

Everything was happening so fast; Steve almost couldn’t process it all. One minute, Tony was slamming the door in his face, telling him that time travel was impossible. The next, he was being fitted for a suit that would be compatible with the Quantum Realm.

“Did you design her suits?”

Tony looked up from his sketches to where Steve was redressing himself. “The last one. She didn’t like my first designs.”

“What was wrong with them?”

Tony chuckled, pausing what he was doing to pull up a holographic closet. Suddenly, Steve was surrounded by suits that were all roughly your size. He immediately saw the issue. “These look the suits you’ve designed for me.”

Every single hologram had an almost exact replica of a suit Steve had worn. The designs were all mostly the same, red and white stripes wrapped around the torso with a giant start in the middle of the chest. “If she had worn these, she would have looked like me.”

Tony picked up the pain in his friends’ voice. With a sigh, he turned off the projection. “Y/N didn’t want the world to think she was trying to be a new you. The world already had a Captain America. She just wanted to help people.”

“She died thinking that I’d abandoned her.”

“Then when we bring her back, I’d suggest you inform her otherwise.” Tony tossed something at Steve, which he caught easily. “That’s the key to her room. You might want to take a look inside.”

Steve looked with confusion between the key and Tony a few times before quickly making his way to the elevator. It was only one floor and he knew he probably would have moved faster on the stairs, but he needed the time to calm the beating of his heart. Although it was still racing by when he got to your door.

He wasn’t prepared for what he saw when he stepped inside. At first glance, your room was plain. Grey curtains, black sheets, not much personalization at all. When he stepped in and shut the door, he noticed the giant world map all marked up with pins and yarn. There were clusters of headlines and grainy images of him scattered everywhere, with your trail stopping abruptly in the UK.

Steve couldn’t help by laugh to himself. “Oh baby, you were so close.”

Steve’s urge to fight was renewed as he opened your nightstand drawer and found a framed photo of the two of you. For the past five years, he’d always just assumed that you’d gotten rid of any trace of your relationship. Not once did he consider that you might not have completely moved on.

He slept in your bed that night.

This is going to work, Rogers. You’ll get her back. You’ll get everyone back. Steve’s heart was racing as he made his way up onto the time machine.

“Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends. We lost family. We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams; you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn’t mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we’re going to win. Whatever it takes. Good luck.”

“He’s pretty good at that.” Rocket whispered.

Scott raised his eyebrows. “I know right.”

Nat gave Steve a giddy, almost childlike smile. “See you in a minute.”

And just like that, they were off.

Everything happened so fast.

“Hail Hydra.”

“I can do this all day.”

“That is America’s ass.”

“You trust me?”

Director Margaret Carter.

Suddenly, there was only a thin pane of glass and some blinds separating Steve from the woman he’d once loved. She looked so beautiful and alive. Steve wanted so badly just to touch her again, to kiss her and let her know that he was okay; that he didn’t die that day in ’45.

But he didn’t.

Steve saw the small gold band on her hand and smiled. She’s happy.

Making sure the coast was clear, he gave her one last glance before slipping back out of her office and out of the building. For fear of being recognized, he hung back when he noticed Tony walking with Howard Stark, only giving him a quick thumbs up.

“You got the particles?” Tony asked as the two practically ran away from the army base.

“Of course, I got the particles.” Steve pulled him into the trees where no one could see them. “You got the cube?”

“What do you think this means?” Tony tapped twice on the briefcase in his hands. “Let’s just go home.”

Despite having just done it thrice in the past hour, soaring through space and time still gave Steve a slightly queasy feeling. He was relieved to land back in the compound next to Tony and Bruce.

Bruce looked around. “Did we get them all?”

Rhodey chuckled, holding up the power stone in its rock. “You’re telling me this actually worked?”

Steve noticed when Clint sunk to his knees, pain overcoming his features.

“Clint, where’s Nat?”

Steve had his shield up, protecting himself as Bruce howled in pain. He took a step forward.

“Bruce, are you okay?”

“Talk to me, Banner!” Tony took the same step up.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Bruce hoists his arm up, struggling to snap his fingers.

There’s a wash of energy over the room and Bruce falls to the floor and the gauntlet falls away.

“Bruce!” Steve drops to his knees next to his friend but holds back from touching him for fear of causing more pain.

“Don’t move him!” Tony quickly iced Bruce’s burnt arm. Bruce held tight to Steve’s arm.

“Did it work?”

Thor was on his other side. “Worth a shot. It’s over. It’s okay.”

“Guys,” Scott called from where he was standing at the window. “I think it worked.”

Bruce opened his eyes in relief, smiling. That smile was gone in a split second when he saw the array of missiles fired at the compound.

CRASH!

For a split second, Steve felt like he’d been hit by a bus. Every muscle and every bone in his body ached.

“Come on buddy. Wake up.”

Steve gasped as his eye flew open. Tony was standing over his, looking worse for wear and holding his shield.

“That’s my man. You lose this again, I’m keeping it.”

“What happened?” Steve groaned as he stood and took the metal disk.

“You mess with time; it tends to mess back. You’ll see.”

The two made their way through the rubble to where Thor was staring at a sitting Thanos.

How is that possible? Steve thought angrily.

“What’s he been doing?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“Where are the stones?” Steve strapped his shield to his arm tightly, standing up just a bit straighter.

Tony motioned to the mess. “Somewhere under all this. All I know is he doesn’t have them.”

“So, we keep it that way.”

“You know this is a trap, right?”

Tony never took his eyes off the titan. “Yeah. I don’t much care.”

“Good. Just as long as we’re all in agreement.” Thor took a deep breath and held out both his hands. The rumble of lightning was heard, and it struck him, delivering both Stormbreaker and Mjolnir and materializing his armor. “Let’s kill him properly this time.”

You could feel as every fiber of your being was stitched back together. Everything was moving excruciatingly slow, but finally, after what felt like an eternity, you were on your feet in the fields of Wakanda. You ignored the ache in your muscles as you start walking around, watching everyone pick themselves up.

“What the hell happened?” You turned to Bucky, who was observing the grounds just as you were. “Where’s Steve?”

“I don’t know.” You tapped the communicator in your ear. “Steve? Tony? Can anybody hear me?”

“I can.” Sam was lying on his back, wings extended. You held out a hand to help him to his feet. “I hate to be the one to say it, but I’m pretty sure we died.”

King T’Challa stood next to you. “I think he is right.”

“Then that begs the question. How the hell are we alive now?”

Your mask materialized over your head. “T.A.D.A.S.H.I., call Tony.”

There were a million things happening in front of your eyes, but you focused on the top corner where your A.I. was searching. “Madam, it would appear as though F.R.I.D.A.Y. just sent out a distress signal. The War Machine suit sent out the same signal. Shall I respond?”

“Yes. Where are they?”

“They are outside the compound in New York. It seems there’s been some kind of explosion.”

“We’ve got to New York!” You rushed, mask disappearing.

“Look.” You turned to where Bucky was pointing. There were gold spark floating mid-air, and they were popping up all over the field. Slowly, you moved towards the one closest to you as it expanded. Your gun was drawn when a guy popped his head through.

“Let’s go.”

“Who are you?”

He rolled his eyes. “My name is Doctor Steven Strange. I’m, for lack of a better term, a wizard. Right now, Thanos is about to kill your friend, Captain Rogers. Any more questions.”

You gave him an incredulous expression. “Why should we trust you?”

“Are you being serious right now?” You nodded. The portal expanded ever further and there, standing next to him was Peter.

“Kid!” You rushed through, wrapping your arms around him in relief. “You’re okay!” He hugged you back. “I mean, technically I’m in space, but sure I’m okay. Although the wizard says that Mr. Stark is in a lot of trouble right now so we should probably go help him.”

You held onto him for just a second longer before releasing and turning back to Dr. Strange. “Alright, let’s go.”

You watched in shock and disbelief as all of the portals in Wakanda expanded and Strange’s head ducked into them to give the same spiel. There was a crackle on your communicator and suddenly the destination on the other side of the portal wasn’t Wakanda, but rather the destroyed building where Steve was facing Thanos alone.

“Idiot,” you muttered fondly. Turning back to Peter, you spoke quickly. “When we get out there, you stay close to me. I cannot – I repeat, cannot – lose you again. Got it?”

“Got it.” He gave you a weary smile and a thumbs up.

“Cap, do you copy?” Sam’s voice was clear. “Cap, can you hear me? On your left.”

Strange expanded all the portals and Steve watched as everyone he could possibly think of stepped out. You waited, giving him a small smile when his eyes finally found yours.

I’m sorry, he mouthed.

You chuckled. I forgive you.

A giant burst through the rubble, Hulk, Rhodey and a raccoon hopping out of his hand. Everyone lined up as Thanos’ army did the same.

“Stay close kid,” you reminded Peter, moving forward.

“Avengers…” Steve called, holding his hand out. To your shock, and quite honestly arousal, Mjolnir flew into his grip. “Assemble!”

Your mask was back on and you were charging the battlefield. “T.A.D.A.S.H.I., keep an eye on Pete for me.”

“Yes ma’am.” A small window popped up on your screen that mirrored what Peter was seeing, caringly labeled ‘nanny cam protocol.’

“Pepper, do you have eyes on Tony?” You called.

“Yeah, but I’m a bit preoccupied right now!”

“Pete!” He popped up in front of you. “Find Stark!”

You shot and stabbed your way through groups of aliens. The wounds you acquired were an afterthought as all of the anger and frustration was finally being released. Before you could think about it, you were fighting next to Steve.

“Fancy running into you here.” You joked, shooting the thing that was running up behind him.

“I’m so glad to see you.” He smiled. “I love you.”

You were about to say it back when he wrapped his arm around you, holding the shield over your heads as shots rained down.

“Thank you, Captain.” You shot around his head. “I love you too.”

Your happiness was short-lived as you heard Pete call for help.

“Hey Queens, catch!” Steve threw Mjolnir, Peter’s web snagging it and Pepper catching him midair.

“Madam, the extra legs on the Iron Spider suit have been severely damaged.”

“Shit.” You pulled away from Steve, mask on. “T.A.D.A.S.H.I., take me to him.”

The raining fire seized, and you ran as fast as you could, killing mindlessly. When you got to him, he was curled up in a ball around the Iron Gauntlet.

“Hey, you’re okay.” You knelt next to him, suit building a shield on your back. “T.A.D.A.S.H.I., what’s going on? Why did they stop shooting?”

“Something has just entered the atmosphere, Madam.” You both looked up to see a glowing light whizzing through the sky and straight through Thanos’ ship.

“Danvers, we need an assist here.”

The light came at you fast, blinding you for a minute as she landed on the other side of Peter. He looked to you and then to her.

“Hi. I’m Peter Parker.”

“Hey, Peter Parker.” She gave him a warm smile. You have something for me?”

You helped him to his feet, and he handed off the Gauntlet. “That’s got to get to that brown van over there.”

The three of you looked out across the field. Peter’s eyes were bloodshot, exhaustion taking over his features.

“I don’t know how you’re going to get it through all that though.”

“Don’t worry.” Okoye stepped up. “She’s got help.”

One by one, you were surrounded. Wanda, Shuri, Pepper, a woman on a flying horse, plus a handful of women you’d never seen before.

“You’re done, kid!” You said as you marched with them. “Stay down!”

You fought alongside a woman with green skin and red skin, keeping as many aliens away from Peter as you could.

“He’s got the stones!”

You froze, looking up as Thanos fought Carol. Not again.

He knocked her off, securing the gauntlet on his wrist and raising his arm. “I am inevitable.”

He snapped.

Nothing happened. Tony was kneeling in front of him. Raising his right arm, he gave Thanos a smirk. “And I. Am. Iron. Man.”

Thanos’ army began decimating. The aliens advancing all turned to dust just before they could reach you. Your heart blossomed with relief. It’s over.

“Madam.”

“What is it, T.A.D.A.S.H.I.?”

“Mr. Stark’s vitals are dropping rapidly.”

“Tony?” You rushed to him, Peter hot on your trail.

Steve caught you before you could kneel next to him. There were tears in your eyes as you processed his burnt arm and pale skin. You turned, crying into Steve’s shoulder at the sound of Peter’s voice.

“Mr. Stark, we did it. We won and you did it, sir. I’m sorry. Tony.”

You forced yourself to pull it together, wiping your eyes quickly and pulling him close to you.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Pepper whispered. “You can rest now.”

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way. Maybe this time. I'm hoping if you play this back... it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited. I hope we get it back, in somewhat like a normal version of the planet has been restored, if there ever was such a thing. God, what a world. Universe now. If you told me 10 years ago that we weren't alone, let alone you know to this extent... I mean, I wouldn't have been surprised. But come on, you know. That epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And for better or worse, that's the reality Morgan's going to find a way to grow up in. So, I found a private area to record a little greeting in case of an untimely death on my part. Not that death at any time is ever timely. This time travel thing that we are going to pull off tomorrow... it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of all this. But then again that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I tripping for? Everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to.”

Tony’s hologram rose from the chair he was on and bent over, meeting his daughter’s terrified eyes. “I love you 3000.”

You couldn’t help the tears that streamed down your face as the message ended. Steve rubbed a comforting hand over your arm, holding you close as a few tears of his own rolled down his cheeks.

“I’m going to get some air.” You whispered to him, slipping out of his arms. You were careful not to make any not any noise as you stepped outside and took a deep breath. The lake provided a nice layer of background noise, allowing you to sit on the front steps and cry freely.

You didn’t notice when Steve came out and sat next to you.

“They were the best of us,” he said softly.

You nodded, leaning into him. “It’s not fair. All Nat and Tony needed was a good family. They finally got that and Thanos just snatched it away.”

“Y/N, if I’d—”

“I know.” You cut him off with a sad smile. “If you’d gone up there with her, you would have jumped. Without a second thought.”

You reached up and stroked his cheek. “Your overwhelming amount of love for others is why I fell in love with you.”

“I’m so sorry for what happened all those years ago.” He bowed his head in shame. “I wasn’t thinking straight. I should have just listened to Tony, but I wasn’t thinking.”

“You can’t beat yourself up for that anymore, Steve.”

“I saw Peggy.” You pulled away from him in confusion. “When Tony and I were trying to get the Tesseract in the seventies. I was hiding out and saw her through a window. She had on a wedding ring and as soon as I saw I knew. We were never meant to be together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Since Thanos’ first attack, I’ve been thinking about destiny and fate and what it all really means. I thought that Peggy was the love of my life in ’45 and when I woke up, I thought that fate was just playing some cruel game with me. Then I met you and I thought, ‘Is destiny giving me another chance?’ Of course, I blew it with the Accords, but going back and seeing her married and running SHIELD, it made me realize that even though I loved her and always will, you are my destiny. You always have been. I don’t want to go back and try to fit myself into the life I assumed I’d have. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Build a house, start a family, grow old together. I thought I wanted all of that with her but seeing her just made me realize that I want it with you.”

“Steve, I—”

He cut you off quickly. “You don’t have to give me an answer now. I love you and I will wait for as long as you need me to.”

You searched his eyes for any sign of insincerity or doubt, but there was none. Smiling, you leaned in to peck his lips.

“Aren’t you like 105? Can you even still have kids?”

He laughed, pulling you as close as possible. “We’ll find out.”

the end.

13 notes · View notes

romien · 5 years ago

Text

How to save a life (part 1)

This is my first time posting my writing in English. I am not a native speaker, so forgive any mistakes you might find here. Hope you enjoy it!

Waking up on an alien planet after five years that just somehow went by, even though for you it was like a blink of an eye, is weird. And quite frankly, terrifying.

But running around the fallen debris from the destroyed Avengers compound that was turned into a battlefield while simultaneously holding the most powerful jewels in the universe and dodging spears, energy beams – and was that a branch? – definitely beats it.

Peter was so not having a good day.

„Karen! Is there anything we can do to distract them?“ he shouted, mildly desperate as the aliens kept coming and he was nowhere near the van inside which he was supposed to drop the gauntlet.

„I’m sorry, Peter, but your enhanced strength and agility are the only reason you were not taken down yet,“ his AI informed him.

Peter actually envied how cheerful and unconcerned she sounded while telling him that.

„Super helpful, Karen,“ he growled and ducked when a knife was thrown his way.

There had to be something he could do. Webbing aliens and dodging hits surely did not get him killed but it really didn’t help him to move towards his goal either. In fact, Peter realized, that the aliens were actually forcing him to move backwards.

„Karen – does this suit have any weapons I could use?“

„Would you like an access to the manual or automatic weapons?“ was the enthusiastic response he got.

„When this is all over, you and I are gonna have a really long talk about what a necessity are the laws on gun control,“ Peter huffed partially amused but mostly concerned.

„Should I disable the weaponry then?“

„NO!“ he yelped and hissed as one of the knives nicked his thigh. „Is there a… wait, is that a grenade?!“

„Yes, Peter,“ Karen chirped in his ear.

„Okay, we will add that to the list of things we need to discuss. Get me the grenade and calculate with how much force should I throw it on the ground so that I can use it as a boost.“

„That is not advisable.“

„Says who?“

„Per the Baby monitor protocol-“

„That was rhetorical, Karen! How much force?“

„About half of your full strength throw, Peter.“

With a deep breath, he took five quick steps behind, which made the aliens stumble in surprise. They didn’t have any time to get their footing back as Peter threw the grenade and shot a web onto the little flying vehicle that sped above them.

His spidey sense flared up when the greande hit the ground and immediately blew up. Thankfully, the flying drone was going at the same crazy speed, even with Peter latched onto it. More importantly, it was headed straight to the van so the boy braced himself for what was about to happen.

But that was when the Parker luck striked again.

„Peter!“

He was sure that was Mr. Starks voice and so he automatically turned his head towards it. Iron Man was really looking his way and even from the distance he saw the panicked look upon his mentors face. Alarmed, Peter looked up and saw another drone headed his way.

Cutting the web string was not an option. He was moving too fast and the momentum would throw him directly to the very pointy looking debris that lay ahead. If he tried to jump up the webbing would be cut by one of the drones, possibly by both of them.

He was screwed.

And just as he was contemplating letting fate run its course he saw another thing quickly flying towards them. At first it looked like another drone, but even from the distance it seemed smaller.

„Hold tight, young spider!“ hollered a booming voice somewhere down on his right.

The hair on the back of Peters neck stood up and he would swear that he felt electricity in the air. Once the flying object was closer, Peter realised, it was Mjolnir. And even though he was most likely to die however the situation will resolve, the fanboy in him was screaming in delight with the thought that Thor was actually talking to him.

„Brace yourself, Peter,“ interrupted his inner fangirling Karen as she calculated movement of every object in his vicinity and displayed the results to him. „The hammer is flying very fast so it would be best to web yourself to it as soon as you can.“

„So I won’t hurt myself?“

„You will definitely get hurt. My data tells me there is 77,5 % chance that you will dislocate your shoulder performing this maneuvre.“

„I am so inspired by your pep talk, Karen.“

Not hearing her answer Peter shot his web at Mjolnir the second he was in his shooting distance. As he dropped from the drone and brace himself to the pain of having his shoulder dislocated, the most unexpected thing happened.

Instead of his shoulder being popped from the socket, he was stopped mid swing. Because the hammer wasn’t moving towards his goal anymore. It flew right into the spiderlings hand. Peter was too shocked to do anything but his muscle memory took over so that his fingers could wrap themselves around the handle.

And then he was falling again.

This time he thanked the one lucky start that watched over him (and probably died right after helping him) as he was close to the ground and with a little bit of uncoordinated moving and wiggling in the air he hit the ground less harshly than he anticipated.

Peter let out a long breath and closed his eyes for a second to try and calm his racing heart while he lay there. However the second he felt himself calming down his spidey sense prickled as a shadow fell over him causing his eyelids to snap open and look up.

His heart stopped for a second and then started racing a mile a minute.

„You are extremely annoying, little spider.“

Thanos reached for him with his big purple hand but before he could even get close to him Peters sensitive ears picked up the sound of repulsors charging and he instinctively ducked more to the ground a second before the power blasts flew above him and hit the titan square in the chest.

The loud angry roar hurt Peters ears and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to regain at least some of the control of his senses and body. When he opened his eyes again he felt like he couldn’t possibly close them again, not even for a second.

The scene right in front of him was both horrifying and enticing. Captain America, Thor and Iron Man were all fighting the Mad titan and each clash of their weapons and armor reverberated in Peters body. He couldn’t look away and he couldn’t move. Even though he should. He really, really should.

Get the gauntlet away from Thanos.

Throw it inside the van.

But his limbs wouldn’t listen to his brain screaming at them to move. He was absolutely petrified. For the first time since he became Spider-man he understood his own mortality. How close to death he was at times in the past saving people.

And how he saw death, in its endless haunting beauty and finality, in Thanos‘ eyes.

His thoughts were interrupted when the body of Steve Rogers landed not even two feet away. Peter was relieved when the man grunted as he got back up on his feet even though a bit unsteady. He fastened the strap of his broken shield on his forearm, effectively stopping the blood from the nasty gash there.

And then he looked up from the ground beneath his feet and his eyes met Peters. Well, the now fully engorged white lenses of his suit. The Captain then looked at Mjolnir that was resting comfortably in the spiderlings clenched fist. Peter looked back to the fight that a glowing lady who fired blasts from her bare fists has joined and for the lack of anything to do he offered the hammer to Captain America who took it but not without a curious glance in his direction.

Then he threw the hammer at Thanos and rejoined the battle. Another explosion sounded somewhere behind Peter and with the sound of Iron Mans repulsors firing it was enough to shake him from his stupor. Standing up on shaky feet he looked in the direction of the van and after taking a big breath he leaped from his position and headed straight to his goal.

Every move he did had a purpose now. He felt himself zoning out as he automatically kicked and punched everything that came running at him. There was no time to think about the injuries he caused while making his way to Ant Man.

But then another explosion went off right next to him and he was thrown away alongside many others. He felt disorientated and was glad that so many warriors from their side stood up and defended him. Because Peter was too busy looking around.

People and aliens were dying. Both sides were attacking viciously and Peter felt chill running up his spine. They were losing. And he didn’t need Karen to tell him that, he could see it with his own eyes. Those eyes fell upon the object in his hands and in complete contrast to the furious battle around him his hands carefully turned the gauntlet so the Stones were shining on his face.

They were intriguing. He could feel the power by looking at them and just imagining what it takes to actually wield them... He shuddered and closed his eyes.

He could feel and hear his protectors being defeated by their enemy. He will never get the Stones to the van in time. Or in one piece.

Opening his eyes in that second was the most challenging thing he ever faced his entire life. But the ongoing sound of repulsors made him. And the words that came to the front of his mind.

Nice job, kid.

Peter leapt to the feet so suddenly that the aliens didn’t have time to defend themselves. And once the ones in front of him were dead by his feet thanks to the still active instant kill of his suit, he ran. He was sprinting so fast he made himself dizzy with the speed and felt like his legs didn’t even touch the ground anymore.

So close. The van was right there.

His spidey sense was murmuring below the surface. But for the second time in his life, he didn’t listen. Because he had to get there. He had to.

Twenty feet.

Scott got out of the car eyes widened.

Eighteen feet.

Peter was ready to try his luck and throw the gauntlet.

His spidey sense screamed.

And then a spear went straight through his left knee.

The scream he let out was more out of the frustration than the pain. Tears blurred his vision as he fell to the ground and onto his wounded leg, probably screwing the busted kneecap even more. He didn’t care about that though.

His eyes frantically searched the ground and once he saw the gauntlet he began to crawl towards it. He reached it quite quickly thanks to his determination and clutched it tight to his chest.

He could do a lot of things. Most of them would be considered stupid by Mr. Stark.

But he didn’t have a choice. Not really.

His fingers deftly reached for the stones. The metal mended when it was met with his superstrength. Just as he was starting to think about how to execute the plan, his world exploded in pain.

He screamed again, this time purely from the agony as he was dragged by the spear lodged in his limb. Somewhere in the distance he heard yelling and feel the ground shaking as people ran to them. It was hard but he managed to lift his head and look Thanos in the eyes with as much disdain as he could muster.

It made the Titan smile as he easily plucked the gauntlet from the spiderlings weak hands. Peters closed fists fell to the ground as he breathed heavily and looked at Thanos from his position lying on his back, defeated.

„Perhaps in another life, you will fight on the right side,“ was what he said with such conviction of his own rightousness and superiority it almost made the young man laugh out loud.

„Depends… on how you… look at it,“ Peter managed to say between his clenched teeth. His whole body was pulsing and he had to close his eyes to regain control.

The Titan probably decided that that was the end of the conversation as the next thing Peter knew, he was kicked ten feet away and harshly landed on some rocks. The spear still lodged in him.

His eyes barely opened as he heard an angry scream, that could have been no one else’s but Mr. Starks. On cue, Iron Man flew from the sky and hit Thanos who protected himself with his sword and punched him so hard he hit the ground and parts of the Iron suit were obviously broken.

Thanos took the gauntlet with the intention of putting it on but was stopped by Captain Marvel. While the two fought Peter saw Tony looking at something behind him so he painfully turned his head as well. And there was Doctor Strange, looking at them with solemn expression on his face.

Slowly he lifted his hand and held up one finger.

Only one.

Peter closed his eyes and heard as Carol went flying from similar punch that Mr. Stark received. He could also hear the whirring of the gauntlet as it adjusted to the large hand.

„I am inevitable.“

The snap that followed would have had him flinching but he could barely move. He pried his eyes open and with the last amount of strength turned his head back to the Titan. He didn’t try to get up because he knew it would be pointless.

So he lay against the pile of rocks behind him, not even feeling them digging into his back. He had his eyes on Tony who was kneeling on the ground facing the Titan and Peter.

Eyes determined. Furious gaze. His right hand went up and the Iron man armor slowly crept up onto his hand and formed a gauntlet.

„And I…am.. Iron Man.”

And the same thing that happened to the Mad titan occurred again. Mr. Starks eyes widened in shock that was slowly morphing into panic. And Peter wanted to assure him. He wanted to ran to him and tell him so much.

He wanted another hug.

But he knew it wouldn’t be possible.

It took both Thanos and Mr. Stark a second to figure out what happened. Then they both turned towards Peter.

Dead eyes looking at him with the intent of murder, but also fascination and disbelief.

Warm eyes looking at him with so much fear. For him.

Peter tried to smile but the pain didn’t let him express anything, so he hoped his eyes were the same as Mr. Stark described to him.

Full of curiosity and intelligence. Shining with passion and excitement. Like an open book.

And Peter prayed and pleaded with the Stones he was holding tightly in both hands to let him show the one thing that mattered.

To let Mr. Stark know, how much he loved him.

He didn’t see Iron Man when he blinked. He saw Tony Stark, face crumpled with tears in his eyes, looking at him with such a loving look that Peter would have teared up as well if he could.

So he hold that look in his mind. And added Aunt May, Ned and MJ. Mr. Rhodes and Miss Potts. His family.

He was still looking in Mr. Starks eyes as he wished and felt the Stones responding.

Greedy and wanting. His body, his mind, his soul.

Everything.

But he was not afraid

Bight light. Painpainpainpainpain…

And he was not alone.

#peter parker #tony stark #irondad #spider son

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etherealbuccky · 6 years ago

Text

Always & Forever: Three

Summary: Soulmates are linked through identical marks. Some are large and distinctive making it easy to find each other. Some, however, are very small and easy to miss. Mila Jones was born with a small crescent moon on her wrist, whereas Bucky Barnes saw his appear on his wrist at the young age of 10. despite all odds being against them finding each other, they do. Forcing both of them to make important decisions and figure out what they really want out of life. Can she be happy with a mobster? Will they give love a chance?

Waking up to her alarm she grabbed her phone and saw a text from an unsaved number.

“will be at your residence in 30 minutes ma’am. -Lance”

Rushing to get ready, she showered, put on her favorite black dress and kept her makeup minimal. Her doorbell rang while she was putting on her jewelry and spraying her perfume. Grabbing her coat and bag she rushed to the door to see an older man with white hair and a three piece suit. His expression was devoid of any emotion as he motioned for her to follow him and the drive was spent in complete silence. She knew not to expect him to be too social but this was a bit awkward. Thanking him when they stopped in front of the office, she rushed inside. Walking into her office she saw the prettiest flower arrangement sitting on her desk. Pink roses, peonies and hydrangeas. Attached was a card.

“A bit late, but good luck on the new job.

Love you always, Jackson.”

A sad smile crept up on her face. She hadn’t spoken to Jackson since everything with Tommy. She suppressed the memories and forced herself to get to work.

That day she had lunch with Wanda and her coworkers for the first time. They were all really nice. Loki from accounting was a bit distant but not unpleasant. The day passed quickly and as she went to leave the office, she got a text from Bucky.

Bucky: rain check for dinner? Something came up.

She had to admit she was a bit disappointed.

Mila: Of course, no problem.

She decides to just relax at home tonight. The flowers from Jackson were still on her mind. Her mother must have told him about the move and the new job, how else would he know? She sends him a quick thank you text.

When she gets home, she sees Luka standing in front of her apartment with two bottles of wine and a very tired expression.

“Rough day?” she giggles looking at the state of his clothes. Paint covers his pants and sweater and his hand are still black from the charcoal.

“Yes, today was terrible and my best friend is currently laughing at my pain. Screw you for that by the way.” He says part exasperated and part amused.

“Come on you big baby,” she says while unlocking the door to her apartment “You go wash up and I’ll order us some takeout” After ordering the food and throwing Luka some clothes that he had left there last time she felt her phone vibrate.

Bucky: Did you eat?

Mila: I’m about to, you?

Bucky: Yeah me too, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go for a drink tonight?

Mila: I actually have a friend over, another night?

Bucky: Does his name happen to be Jackson?

Mila stared at her phone wondering how the hell Bucky could even know about Jackson. Feeling more than a little annoyed at the question.

Mila: How do you know Jackson?

Bucky: What kind of “Friend” sends that kind of stuff?

Mila: You’re overstepping Barnes. Tread carefully.

Bucky: I don’t appreciate being lied to.

At this point she was fuming. How dare he?

Mila: if this is how this is going to be I don’t think it’s going to work. Keep your driver, keep your watch dogs and stay the hell away from me. Obviously I miscalculated this whole thing.

At that she switched off her phone and opened a bottle of wine. No way in hell was this guy going to make her like difficult when she had just met him. Soulmate or not.

Luka, being the observant little shit that he is, obviously noticed something was wrong and kept prying until she’d tell him at least something. With a belly full of tapas and quite a bit of wine she told him about Bucky. Conveniently leaving out his line of work and his last name. She couldn’t quite discern the look on her friends face. It was quiet for a few moments before he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “Did you tell him about Tommy?” She smiled, a tearful smile, before saying “No, I just told him that I wasn’t in a place where I could see myself falling in love with another person.” He just shook his head at this. “You deserve to move on love, after everything that happened you deserve all the happiness in the world.” “But that’s the thing Luka,” She was crying at this point. “why should I get to move on and be happy when he didn’t? It wasn’t a bad break up or someone moving overseas that took him from me, he died. I loved him and he died. He never got to find his soulmate, why should I?”

Tears kept falling from her eyes, maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the fact that she refused to talk about it since it happened. But all these feelings just came rushing back and she can’t stop them.

“You know, Jackson sent me flowers today. My favorites too. After the funeral I barely talked to him anymore. It was too painful to look at him because all I could see is Tommy.”

“They’re twins hun, what did you expect? You can’t blame him for the resemblance.”

“I know, I know. It just hurts so bad Luka. “

She didn’t realize she was shaking until Luka tightened his hold on her, she didn’t even realize he was holding her in the first place. He just rubbed her back and told her everything was okay. Over and over again until sleep finally took over.

She woke up the next morning with her head feeling heavy and a numbing kind of sadness that she hadn’t felt for a while. Rolling over in her bed she looked at her alarm clock. She didn’t need to wake up for work for another two hours but she knew she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Getting up to go make coffee she saw Luka curled up on her sofa. A small smile crept on her face at the sight of her dearest friend. So that was how she got in bed with pajamas on, she thought. She silently made coffee and breakfast figuring the smell would be enough to wake him, and sure enough when she had just finished plating the food she saw him slowly waking up rubbing his eyes. She put their breakfast on the coffee table and sat on the floor by his head.

“Why on earth are we eating breakfast at the ass crack of dawn?”

“Mornin’ to you too sugar.” The only light was coming from a small lamp in the corner of the living room, the sun wasn’t up just yet the outside world was yet to wake up. “It’s just a thank you for staying and holding me through yet another break down. I’m really happy you’re so close by again. Don’t know what I’d do without ya kid.”

“Yeah I am quite amazing aren’t i?” He joked. Slapping his chest lightly she told him to come eat before it got cold. So there they sat on the slightly cold floor of her apartment at the ass crack of dawn, eating breakfast and talking about yet another date gone wrong for Luka. After they had finished eating and Luka said he was going to get an early start at his studio and be productive she was left alone with her thoughts again. Her phone was still switched off since yesterday and she was a bit scared to turn it back on. Deciding she was going to put it off a bit longer she showered and got ready for work. Putting on a slim fitted pant suit with a champagne colored silk blouse. She pulled her curly black hair into a low bun with a few strands framing her face. As she always did when she felt a bit down, she put even more effort into her makeup. With a bold red lip and her favorite pair of heels she finally gathered the courage to switch on her phone. 5 missed calls from Bucky and only one text.

Bucky: Lunch tomorrow, I’m not taking no for an answer.

She figures lunch might not be such a bad idea. She wants to tell him about Tommy. Walking out of her apartment building she sees Lance standing by the car. He opens the door to the car and she sees Bucky sitting in the backseat. Not wanting to cause a scene she gets in, avoiding any eye contact, looking out of the window instead.

Bucky feels relief when she finally gets into the car. The hesitation in her eyes is clear. After and entire night of worrying and reading back texts he’s happy that she can at least stand to be near him. He doesn’t like it when she’s mad at him he realizes. He motions for Lance to roll up the partition and gently grabs hold of her hand. She doesn’t pull it away. He squeezes her hand and mutters a quiet sorry. He’s never been good at apologizing, but he hopes she’ll accept it anyway. She doesn’t say a word, doesn’t even look his way. She just squeezes his hand back and keeps looking out of the window. Her hand is soft, and small, and warm. He doesn’t want to let it go. Accepting that she doesn’t feel like talking he settles for just looking at her. He knows he shouldn’t stare, but he just can’t help himself. She looks so pretty, and that lipstick isn’t helping either. All he can think about is kissing her. God, he wants to kiss her so bad. They’re almost at her office when she turns to look at him. The sadness in her eyes makes his heart hurt. She keeps starting a sentence but she can’t seem to find the words. Eventually, with a deep sigh and her eyes closed she says “I’m sorry that I may have overreacted last night. I see why you might be confused even though you’re not entirely blameless. I’ll explain everything in time, I promise. I just need to get my thoughts in order.” She squeezes his hand again with a sad smile and he can’t help but smile too. “ I’m sorry too sweetheart, I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I’ll wait, I ain’t in no rush.” When they pull up In front of the building she gives him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek without thinking much of it. She heads inside and leaves a very flustered Bucky behind in the car. He’s blushing. Bucky Barnes is blushing. He can’t believe the effect this girl has on him. Clearing his throat and rolling down the window because it got too hot, he thinks back to the feeling of her lips on his cheek. All he can think about is how he wants to kiss her again. The day practically flies by with all the work she has to do and lunch rolls pretty quick. She doesn’t realize what time it is until she gets a text from Bucky telling her Lance will be with her in 5 minutes.

Lance took her to a new sushi place not too far from her office. Bucky was waiting outside looking a bit tired. He smiled when he saw her and guided her inside. They had a private booth away from the chatter of the other customers. He asked her about her day and tried to fill up the time with small talk, when she blurted out “He died.” Without thinking. Utterly mortified she hid behind her Menu and couldn’t bring herself to look at him. He gently pulled the menu out of her hands and held them, softly rubbing circles to calm her down. “ Breathe doll, take it easy. Who died?” Taking a deep breath she told him everything from the beginning.

She met Tommy when she was younger they became close friends and as they got older the feelings grew deeper. No one really approved because they weren’t each other’s soulmates but they just couldn’t leave each other alone. They were together for a few years until he got cancer. Everything seemed to be going well and treatments were successful, until they weren’t. she never left his side and he passed while still holding her hand.

“It wasn’t pretty” she said “But I was with him till the end, and for that I’m thankful. Jackson is his twin. I haven’t spoken to him much since the funeral.”

Bucky could only nod, squeezing her hand reassuringly. Now he understood why she wasn’t ready for a relationship. But he would wait. As long as it took for her to want him too, he would wait. “did she cheat on you?” she asked quietly. Bucky looked at her confused until she said. “Your ex, did she cheat? Your mind immediately went to the worst case scenario when you saw the flowers, I figured it must be because of an unfaithful ex.” She said quietly, scared that she was overstepping. He nodded sadly.

“Yeah, her name was Dot, she had me looking like a damn fool sleeping around while she was with me. After her, I had a hard time trusting anyone so I didn’t really commit to any relationships.”

“So you just hit em and quit em huh Barnes?” She said teasingly.

He just laughed and shook his head. Lunch passed pretty quickly and soon Lance was driving her back to her office. Bucky had taken his own car saying he had business to tend to. The rest of her day was a whirlwind of deadlines and meetings and she was glad the day was finally over.

She expected to see Lance outside but she saw another man, younger with dark hair and high cheekbones. She had a bad feeling about him. Giving her a polite smile he said Lance couldn’t make it and that Mr. Barnes had sent him instead. Wanting to check with Bucky she got out her phone only to be pushed into the car and feeling a cloth being pressed to her mouth. She tried to scream but she couldn’t and suddenly, darkness took over. The Last thing she heard were the names Rumlow and Pierce.

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #mobster!bucky #mobster!bucky x black!oc #black!oc #always&foreverfic

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madasthesea · 6 years ago

Note

Hi! I love your iron dad and spider son fics!!

Me, pulling every Jedi Apprentice book off my shelf, wearing my Jedi Order t-shirt and hugging my Star Wars pillow: My time has come. I had to stop myself from writing way more than this. I definitely could have. I loved this prompt so much.

Tony Stark stepped off the boarding ramp and into the dockingbay of the Temple, the familiar hum of being surrounded by Force-sensitivesouls settling deep into his bones. It had been a stultifying day at the Senatechambers, and he was tired of sitting still.

James Rhodes found him on the way to the salles, his longbrown robes swishing behind him, looking every bit the Jedi Master he was. Notthat Tony was jealous; he would rather remain a Knight then have to sit inboring Council meetings every day. And if anyone deserved it, it was Rhodey.

“Tones,” Rhodey greeted. “How was Senate?”

“Just for asking that question, you are my victim of choicetonight,” Tony grumbled, weaving his way through the crowd of younglingsleaving the refectory.

“Oh, please. You never beat me unless you cheat,” Rhodeyscoffed. That was true, but Tony didn’t look at it as cheating, merely beingcreative and using all the resources at his disposal. It had saved his lifemore times than he could count, and he wasn’t going to stop now.

“I don’t know,” Tony argued for the mere sake of arguing.“I’ve been listening to pompous senators debating the finer points ofChandrilan trade deals the entire day, I’m in the mood to thrash someone.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. Despite Tony’s tough talk, he wasnot usually one for dueling to release pent up tension. He preferred to hide inthe underbellies of the Temple, repairing ships and scrapped droids.

Regardless of his usual activities, tonight Tonydeterminedly led them through the winding lower levels until they reached the largestdojo. Again, rather odd. Tony tended to keep to the smaller, less used privaterooms.

There were several junior padawans already there, duelingand running through kata under the watchful eye of the Swordmistress, MasterNatasha Romanoff. When the two masters joined them they respectfully drew toone side of the room, leaving plenty of space for the two to spar.

Tony shed his long cloak, dropping it in a corner as headjusted the setting on his lightsaber, lowering it to training level. Itflared to life, a blue so pale it was practically white. The low humming of thecrystal resonated in the Force and Tony smiled.

Rhodey’s own saber hissed into existence, green and steady.He smirked a little bit, dark eyes flicking over Tony’s relaxed stance.

In the corner, the padawans were slowing down, pausing towatch the duel.

Tony struck first. He always struck first.

The fight was fast, sabers screaming as they cut the air,spitting hot sparks as they connected, disengaged, and met again. Tony lethimself sink into the Force, let it carry him as he jumped and twisted, hisparticular style of Ataru like a hurricane of white-blue fire around him.

Regardless of Tony’s impressive skill—and he was good. One of the best, if he washonest. It wasn’t pride if it was true—Rhodey was still better. A bastion ofdiligent obedience, Rhodey preferred a standard form of Soresu that Tony hadyet to break through consistently.

By the end of the battle, they were both panting and sweaty,and every padawan in the dojo had stopped to watch.

“Back to it,” Master Romanoff said, ushering them along. Shecast a fond glare over her shoulder at Tony and Rhodey as the padawans snappedback into action. All except one, who had been practicing kata at an almostalarming speed before they’d taken the stage. He kept watching, and, just for amoment, met Tony’s eye.

Tony raised an eyebrow at him. The boy gave a short bow ofapology across the room, then flicked his saber back to life and starteddrilling the Ataru Velocity 4 again.

Tony followed Rhodey to the changing rooms, eager to switchhis damp tunic for a fresh one.

“That was Ben’s padawan,” Rhodey remarked as they entered.

“I remember.”

He did. Vividly.

Knight Ben Fitzpatrick had been killed on a mission only aweek earlier. His padawan had been with him.

Tony hadn’t known Ben at all, barely familiar with his faceand name. But when a Jedi died, everyone went to the funeral.

It was pure luck that had landed him directly across theamphitheater from the now master-less Peter Parker.

He remembered watching the boy, his face hidden by his darkcowl, like every other Jedi’s. Death was a reminder of anonymity, they said.

Just as the pyre lit up, a beam of pure light shooting fromthe floor where they had laid Ben’s body, Peter looked up. Their eyes metacross the space and the Force sang.It was unlike anything Tony had ever experienced.

It was as if, in that heartbeat of eye contact, Tony hadknown Peter. His grief, his guilt, his fear. All those things a good Jedireleased to the Force, it was if Peter was releasing them to him, instead,trusting them over to Tony to absolve him of. And, even stranger, Tony foundhimself welcoming the emotion, the turmoil, found himself longing to take themfrom this child.

Ben had taken Peter as his padawan at ten years old. They’dbeen together four years before Ben was killed. He was still so young, so fullof potential.

Tony had thought about him a lot, these last three days.

“What has the council decided to do with him?” Tony asked,trying to sound casual as he stripped his layers.

Rhodey froze, looking at him intently. “Are you consideringtaking him on?”

“What? No, Rhodes. I was just wondering. You know I—”

“You swore never to take an apprentice,” Rhodey interrupted.“I remember. And I still think it’s ridiculous.”

Tony scowled. He’d heard this lecture before. But he stoodby it. He was not meant to have a padawan, to be trusted so completely withteaching and training and supporting a child. Not after what his own master haddone to him.

“Have the council discussed him?” Tony prodded again,pulling on a clean undertunic.

“You know those meetings are not for public knowledge, don’tyou?” When Tony just glared at him, Rhodey sighed. “Mace is thinking of takinghim on. He’s too gifted to go the Agri-Corps.”

“Mace? No, Peter can’t learn Vapaad. He’s one of the best Ataruswordsmen in this temple,” Tony protested, screwing up his face.

Rhodey smirked. “A master who practices Ataru would probablybe best for him, then.”

“Probably,” Tony said, adjusting his tabards on final timewith a sniff and sweeping out of the room before Rhodey could say anything else.

That night, before the archives closed, Tony settled at adata terminal and shamelessly broke into Peter’s sealed records. Sending aninnocent grin at Madame Nu as she peered down her nose at him, Tony siftedthrough the boy’s information.

There were the standard medical records. He had been treateda few times for nightmares, which Tony found odd but not particularlyworrisome. He was more interested in the class records.

He smiled as he looked at them. Two levels ahead in most ofhis courses, top of his class in the others. A proficiency for mathematics andmechanics.

He quickly cleared the data, offering Madame Nu a bow andanother broad smile as he left.

Tony had always had trouble sleeping when his mind wasoccupied. His old master used to Force-compel him to sleep regularly, somethingthat had seemed comforting at the time and now made him ill to think about.He’d tried meditating the insomnia away, tried hot teas and thick scents ofincense. When nothing worked, he took to wandering the halls of the Temple.

He was passing the upper dormitory levels when he saw asmall figure slip into a turbo lift, their hood drawn up, the heels of theirboots not touching the ground. It looked suspiciously like a youngling sneakingout of their quarters. A very familiar youngling.

Tony followed the figure down three levels to the trainingsalles. Sure enough, after bringing the lights up just a bit with a gesture,the figure dropped their cloak. It was Peter, looking pale and determined. Heplucked his own saber off his belt, but also took one of the training sabersfrom the stand. He turned them both on, his own saber burning sapphire in thedark.

For nearly an hour, Tony watched as Peter drilled Jar’kaikata, again and again, his thin chest heaving as he started over for thefiftieth time. But the training saber was too long for the reverse grip he waspracticing with and he was too exhausted to compensate for its length.

The blade caught Peter on the hip, got tangled with the hiltof the other lightsaber, and dragged a burning welt up his side.

Tony stepped forward. Peter’s head jerked up. He should haveknown that he was being watched the entire time, should have felt it in theForce, but he’d been distracted. Tony had been able to tell. He should havestopped him before he hurt himself.

“Master Stark,” Peter stammered, his eyes wide. He jaw wasclenched from the pain.

“You shouldn’t practice when you’re tired. It leads toinjuries,” Tony remarked with a slight smirk. That stutter had undoubtedly beentrained out of Peter when he was still a crecheling, and the fact that Tony hadstartled him enough to bring it back was oddly endearing.

“It’s not that bad, Master,” Peter said quietly, rememberingthe bow he had neglected earlier.

“If I take you to the healers, you’ll get in trouble forbeing in here on your own at night.” Tony sidled a little closer to Peter,peering at the blackened fabric of the boy’s tunic.

“Yes,” Peter agreed, looking hesitant, like he wasn’t sureif he was going to get in trouble anyway.

“I have some bacta in my rooms. Come on,” he said, turningand leaving without checking to see if Peter was following. He’d been orderedto, so he should. But that didn’t necessarily mean he would.

There was a moment of silence, and then dutiful footfallsbehind him. Tony smirked again.

The walk back to the living quarters was silent. The painfrom the burn was obviously starting to bother Peter. He was biting his lip thewhole ride in the lift, his eyes closing for a few seconds at a time as hetried to release the pain into the Force.

Tony steered them both toward his rooms, waving a handlazily in front of the door to get it to slide open. Another wave and the lightscame on, allowing Tony to weave through the small mess of meditation cushionsand head toward the ‘fresher, where pulled a half-used container of bacta outof a cabinet.

When he came back, Peter was still standing in the sameplace Tony had left him, looking uncertain.

“Sit,” Tony instructed. Peter sat.

“Have they told you what’s going to happen to you next?”Tony asked as he smeared ointment onto his fingers. He wasn’t sure why hebrought this up now; it was probably a sensitive topic, and Tony doubted Peterwanted to talk about it to a stranger.

The Force tensed with Peter’s surprise. Tony waited.

“No. I... I think they intend to send me to the Agri-Corps.”Peter whispered.

“Do you? And how would you feel about being a farmer?” Hetried to be gentle as he dabbed the medicine onto Peter’s burn.

“I will serve wherever they need me to,” Peter answered.“There’s no greater honor in being a Knight than a farmer.” It was a rehearsedanswer, like he’d spent the last week telling himself that.

“That’s true,” Tony agreed, sitting up so he could lookPeter in the eye. “And yet, farmers don’t break curfew to practice saberplay.”

Peter looked down into his lap. His padawan braid swung overhis shoulder—Tony looked at the markings adorning it; blue for mechanics,yellow for weaponry, and, just above the tufted end of the braid, a black band.For bereavement.

Tony reached forward and tugged gently on the braid. Peter watchedthe movement, his eyes lingering on the reminder of his loss.

“My Master died,” he said quietly, “because I wasn’t goodenough.”

Tony held very still. “What makes you think that?”

“There was a fight,” Peter confessed in a whisper. “I wasdisarmed so easily. I called my saberback, but I was too slow. The rebels, they were going to shoot me. My Masterput himself in front of me. He didn’t have his saber either. By the time I hadmine in my hand again, Ben was already down.”

Tony nodded slowly. “That’s why you’re teaching yourselfJar’kai. Two sabers.”

Peter’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, but he nodded. Tonyhesitated a moment before placing a hand on his knee.

“It is a master’s duty to protect his padawan. Above allelse. It was not your fault.”

Peter’s face screwed up and Tony worried that he might cry.The Force was tense with the possibility of it. Tony had never had a Force bondwith anyone, and was not quite sure how to manipulate it to his benefit, but heknew that he wanted the boy to feel comforted. He tried to will calm intoPeter’s mind, and was rewarded when the Force evened back out into a serenepool.

“What if I told you the council does not intend to send youto Bandomeer? What if they intended to reassign you to Master Windu?”

Surprise rippled into the Force, but Peter’s face did notshow it. He took a slow breath.

“Master Windu is a great Jedi. I would learn much from him,”he said, his voice measured. It was such a practiced answer, practicallystraight out of a diplomatics holotext. Tony held back a smile.

“And what would you say if I told you that I wanted youinstead?” Tony’s heart was beating hard. He tried not to let his nervousness befelt in their nascent bond, but Peter seemed to pick it up. He met Tony’s gazestraight on.

“I would say that, were it not unbecoming of a Jedi to havea preference, I would prefer you,” he admitted with a small smile.

Tony allowed himself to grin back for a moment before schoolinghis features.

“Go back to bed, Peter,” he said, cleaning up his containerof bacta. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Yes, Master,” Peter chirped. His bow did little to hide hiswide smile.

The Force hummed with approval.

Tony met with the council at first bell the next morning torequest to have Peter as his padawan. After nearly a standard hour of arguing, ofacknowledging that yes, he’d sworn never to take a padawan, but this was thewill of Force, so you have to say yes—thathadn’t gone over well—he was leaving the high north spire triumphant.

He went straight to the largest refectory. The moment heentered, his gaze went straight to Peter, as if pulled by a magnet. The boyseemed to be contemplating his breakfast more than eating it. Tony, apparently,was not the only one afflicted with nerves this morning.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe Tony should have kept uphis vow of never having an apprentice. His own Master had betrayed the Order,and him, and sold Tony into captivity for three months, until he was able toconstruct a pseudo-lightsaber and escape. He’d felt tainted by the Dark eversince his breakout had led to him fighting his own Master to the death. WhileRhodey assured him that he hadn’t struck the killing blow, the Stane had fallenand broken his neck, it still felt like a mark on Tony’s soul. He didn’t wantto corrupt someone else, especially not Peter.

But, mistake or not, Peter was his padawan now. And thethought made him surprisingly happy.

He filled his own tray and seated himself across from Peter.

“Master Stark,” Peter greeted, looking eager.

“If you’re going to adopt Jar’kai, you’ll need a crystal foryour second blade,” Tony said. Peter nodded, waiting for the news while tryingnot to seem impatient.

“We leave for Ilum tomorrow morning, Padawan.” Tony tried tokeep his face straight, but the corner of his mouth pulled up into a half-smilewithout his permission.

Peter beamed.

“Yes, Master.”

A fic by Peter Parker

#Irondad and Spiderson #Tony Stark #Peter Parker #MCU #fic #my writing #brotp: speaking of loyalty #I was going to post this last night #but I read every single thing caraminha has ever written instead #oops #ask thing #Anonymous

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longlistshort · 5 years ago

Video

youtube

Silver Jews- Random Rules

I first heard about David Berman and his band Silver Jews a while ago, as they were one of those bands you heard about if you were a Pavement fan. But sadly, I never got around to listening to them until now.

Stephen Malkmus and David Berman went to the University of Virginia and later moved together to Hoboken, New Jersey. There Malkmus, along with their other roommate Bob Nastanovich, played with additional bandmates as Pavement, and together with Berman they formed the Silver Jews, although Berman soon remained the only constant member of the band.

When I discovered that David Berman had passed away and read the many quotes from his songs posted online by friends and fans, I finally spent some time listening to his music. There are just so many great lines in these songs. For instance, from Random Rules, posted above- “In 1984, I was hospitalized for approaching perfection/ Slowly screwing my way across Europe, they had to make a correction”. It’s a funny opener and the whole song is filled with quotable lyrics. Towards the end are the lyrics “I asked the painter why the roads are colored black/ He said, ‘Steve, it’s because people leave/And no highway will bring them back’.” So many of his songs are like this, the humor mixed with the pathos.

Silver Jews disbanded in 2009 and Berman quit making music for awhile. In 2011 he started a blog. In May, ten years after he stopped making music, he released the album Purple Mountains. The lyrics to the songs on this album, including the one below, are poignant, made even more so after his death. In a recent interview with Exclaim!, he discusses each song off that album.

youtube

Purple Mountains- All My Happiness Is Gone (song starts 2:06)

He also wrote poetry, and this poem, from his book Actual Air, is just so incredible I’m presenting it in its entirety (via poemhunter).

Self- Portrait at 28

I know it's a bad title but I'm giving it to myself as a gift on a day nearly canceled by sunlight when the entire hill is approaching the ideal of Virginia brochured with goldenrod and loblolly and I think "at least I have not woken up with a bloody knife in my hand" by then having absently wandered one hundred yards from the house while still seated in this chair with my eyes closed. It is a certain hill the one I imagine when I hear the word "hill" and if the apocalypse turns out to be a world-wide nervous breakdown if our five billion minds collapse at once well I'd call that a surprise ending and this hill would still be beautiful a place I wouldn't mind dying alone or with you.

I am trying to get at something and I want to talk very plainly to you so that we are both comforted by the honesty. You see there is a window by my desk I stare out when I am stuck though the outdoors has rarely inspired me to write and I don't know why I keep staring at it. My childhood hasn't made good material either mostly being a mulch of white minutes with a few stand out moments, popping tar bubbles on the driveway in the summer a certain amount of pride at school everytime they called it "our sun" and playing football when the only play was "go out long" are what stand out now. If squeezed for more information I can remember old clock radios with flipping metal numbers and an entree called Surf and Turf. As a way of getting in touch with my origins every night I set the alarm clock for the time I was born so that waking up becomes a historical reenactment and the first thing I do is take a reading of the day and try to flow with it like when you're riding a mechanical bull and you strain to learn the pattern quickly so you don't inadverantly resist it.

II two I can't remember being born and no one else can remember it either even the doctor who I met years later at a cocktail party. It's one of the little disappointments that makes you think about getting away going to Holly Springs or Coral Gables and taking a room on the square with a landlady whose hands are scored by disinfectant, telling the people you meet that you are from Alaska, and listen to what they have to say about Alaska until you have learned much more about Alaska than you ever will about Holly Springs or Coral Gables. Sometimes I am buying a newspaper in a strange city and think "I am about to learn what it's like to live here." Oftentimes there is a news item about the complaints of homeowners who live beside the airport and I realize that I read an article on this subject nearly once a year and always receive the same image. I am in bed late at night in my house near the airport listening to the jets fly overhead a strange wife sleeping beside me. In my mind, the bedroom is an amalgamation of various cold medicine commercial sets (there is always a box of tissue on the nightstand). I know these recurring news articles are clues, flaws in the design though I haven't figured out how to string them together yet, but I've begun to notice that the same people are dying over and over again, for instance Minnie Pearl who died this year for the fourth time in four years.

III three Today is the first day of Lent and once again I'm not really sure what it is. How many more years will I let pass before I take the trouble to ask someone? It reminds of this morning when you were getting ready for work. I was sitting by the space heater numbly watching you dress and when you asked why I never wear a robe I had so many good reasons I didn't know where to begin. If you were cool in high school you didn't ask too many questions. You could tell who'd been to last night's big metal concert by the new t-shirts in the hallway. You didn't have to ask and that's what cool was: the ability to deduct to know without asking. And the pressure to simulate coolness means not asking when you don't know, which is why kids grow ever more stupid. A yearbook's endpages, filled with promises to stay in touch, stand as proof of the uselessness of a teenager's promise. Not like I'm dying for a letter from the class stoner ten years on but... Do you remember the way the girls would call out "love you!" conveniently leaving out the "I" as if they didn't want to commit to their own declarations. I agree that the "I" is a pretty heavy concept and hope you won't get uncomfortable if I should go into some deeper stuff here.

IV four There are things I've given up on like recording funny answering machine messages. It's part of growing older and the human race as a group has matured along the same lines. It seems our comedy dates the quickest. If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokes I hope you won't be insulted if I say you're trying too hard. Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Live seem slow-witted and obvious now. It's just that our advances are irrepressible. Nowadays little kids can't even set up lemonade stands. It makes people too self-conscious about the past, though try explaining that to a kid. I'm not saying it should be this way. All this new technology will eventually give us new feelings that will never completely displace the old ones leaving everyone feeling quite nervous and split in two. We will travel to Mars even as folks on Earth are still ripping open potato chip bags with their teeth. Why? I don't have the time or intelligence to make all the connections like my friend Gordon (this is a true story) who grew up in Braintree Massachusetts and had never pictured a brain snagged in a tree until I brought it up. He'd never broken the name down to its parts. By then it was too late. He had moved to Coral Gables.

V five The hill out my window is still looking beautiful suffused in a kind of gold national park light and it seems to say, I'm sorry the world could not possibly use another poem about Orpheus but I'm available if you're not working on a self-portrait or anything. I'm watching my dog have nightmares, twitching and whining on the office floor and I try to imagine what beast has cornered him in the meadow where his dreams are set. I'm just letting the day be what it is: a place for a large number of things to gather and interact -- not even a place but an occasion a reality for real things. Friends warned me not to get too psychedelic or religious with this piece: "They won't accept it if it's too psychedelic or religious," but these are valid topics and I'm the one with the dog twitching on the floor possibly dreaming of me that part of me that would beat a dog for no good reason no reason that a dog could see. I am trying to get at something so simple that I have to talk plainly so the words don't disfigure it and if it turns out that what I say is untrue then at least let it be harmless like a leaky boat in the reeds that is bothering no one. VI six I can't trust the accuracy of my own memories, many of them having blended with sentimental telephone and margarine commercials plainly ruined by Madison Avenue though no one seems to call the advertising world "Madison Avenue" anymore. Have they moved? Let's get an update on this. But first I have some business to take care of. I walked out to the hill behind our house which looks positively Alaskan today and it would be easier to explain this if I had a picture to show you but I was with our young dog and he was running through the tall grass like running through the tall grass is all of life together until a bird calls or he finds a beer can and that thing fills all the space in his head. You see, his mind can only hold one thought at a time and when he finally hears me call his name he looks up and cocks his head and for a single moment my voice is everything: Self-portrait at 28.

There is only so much time to read, listen to, and see all the wonderful things people have created. David Berman made work well worth spending some of that precious time on.

Rest in Peace.

#david berman #silver jews #purple mountains #music #musicians #writers #poetry #books #playlist #pavement #stephen malkmus #rip

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wroughtbetwixtfanfic · 5 years ago

Text

Love, Blood, And Rhetoric, Ch 2.

Fandom: The Society.

Summary: Campbell’s just trying to survive in the new world. He knows he can make it– it’s everyone else he’s worried about.

Rating: Mature.

Tags: Canon Divergence, Mental Health Issues, Family Issues, Substance Abuse, Complicated Relationships, Consent Issues, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Mild Sexual Content, assuming Elle and Campbell are both 18 for the sake of things, Underage Drinking, PTSD, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, implied eating disorder, Fix-It, Campbell has mild ASPD, and is actively trying to not be awful

Word Count: 6971

Ch 1 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || AO3

Emily was buried in the morning.

They chose the church yard for her final resting place. The grave was too shallow, and there was no casket. Just a bedsheet, white and clean, and some flowers laid across her body. No one spoke any memorable words. Helena said a sermon from the Bible, ironic for the fact that Emily had been Buddhist, and that was it. They buried her, people cried, and then they went home.

Over the next few days, cards and handwritten letters showed up around Emily's grave. Campbell brought a few flowers from the front yard, and Harry brought one of his sister's teddy bears. It felt right to show some sort of solidarity. Soon, there were candles and other things left behind, too. Campbell wondered if anyone would leave tokens at his grave, if he died. Not that he'd care, but it was a morbid little thought, nonetheless.

People hid in their houses, for the most part. Emily's death seemed to solidify what was happening. They weren't home, they weren't going to be magically saved; that was something else to be grieved. Harry coped by throwing parties. He never invited Campbell. Not anymore. Campbell knew it was because drugs were involved, but whatever. Elle would come over in the morning for coffee, anyways. She wouldn't talk much or stay long, but she'd give him a hug before leaving. For just a little while, it'd soothe the strange pit in Campbell's chest.

In the ten days that followed, Cassandra stopped by twice. Once to get some of Sam's things, once to take the food rations he'd stolen for Sam. They didn't speak. Cassandra was pissed. Whatever. He was used to people being fed up with him. At least on day ten, Campbell got a text from Harry, inviting him to the gazebo. Apparently, Lexie and some friends of hers were trying to channel God or something.

They're talking to a stack of rocks, Harry said. You gotta see it.

Campbell couldn't resist. He found Harry, and the two watched the bizarre spectacle unfolding on the green. Sure enough, Lexie and several others had gathered up rocks, stacked them, and were sitting in a circle around them while chanting. He almost felt bad for staring, but Cassandra, Allie, Helena, and Gordie were in the gazebo and staring just as much.

After twenty minutes or so, Harry gently prodded Campbell in the chest with his phone. "Hey, there's a game of Fugitive tonight. It's gonna be the biggest one yet. You in?"

"Yeah, sure," Campbell replied. He'd rather piss on an electric fence. "Whatever."

"Look, I know I've been kind of a dick these last few days. But I miss my friend, you know. We've always been partners in crime, haven't we?"

Campbell looked over at Harry. The poor fuck had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was a mess. He hadn't been taking care of himself at all. It was enough that Campbell wanted to tell Harry to get a shower, and then they'd talk, but... Partners in crime. Campbell had long ago given up on the idea of Harry ever desiring him, and now Campbell had Elle to focus on, but when Harry batted those goddamn eyelashes of his and used that tone? Impossible to resist.

"Yeah, yeah," Campbell murmured. "Forgiven."

Harry leaned against him, just a little. It was almost enough to distract Campbell from the absurdity that was Lexie attempting to throat sing, but then several people began to shout and point upwards towards the sun. Campbell glanced up, just a bit. Enough to notice that something was happening. He turned the screen of his phone towards the sun. In the reflection, he could see a dark circle oozing across the face of the star.

"We asked for a sign!" Lexie yelled.

Her rock-stacking buddy, genius that he was, stared up directly at it. "What does it mean?"

Gordie saved the day, luckily. "It doesn't mean anything. It's a fucking solar eclipse. It's not a sign, it's a predictable astronomical event." His tone turned pointed as he looked at the guy. "Just don't stare at it, and we'll be fine."

Of course, some people kept staring at it. Campbell waited until it went completely dark, and the air turned cold; Harry let out a soft gasp, and Campbell looked up. Totality. It was beautiful and eerie. The sky was dark, the moon was dark, and around it was a halo of bright light. It stayed that way for a long, long minute and a half, before the "diamond" appeared along the side of the moon. It was ending. Campbell looked away, and soon daylight returned to the world.

"Shit," Harry whispered.

Campbell nudged Harry. "C'mon. Like Gordie said, man, it's nothing. Let's go get breakfast and leave Lexie and the God Squad to freak out."

Harry nodded, following as Campbell led them to the small coffee shop downtown. It was easy enough to pick the lock and disable the alarm; Harry had worked there the last few months, and could make one mean coffee. They found some of the frozen sandwiches and heated them up, sitting down at the little table near the window.

"Been a while since we just hung out," Harry said as he sipped his drink. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been keeping myself busy."

"I heard you kicked Sam out."

Campbell groaned. "Why does everyone keep bringing that up?"

"Cold move, dude."

"Yeah, well, it's a good thing we don't have to explain shit to each other if we don't feel like it, huh?"

"Whatever you say. I just think it's gotta suck being in that big house by yourself."

"Yeah?" Campbell picked the sausage off his sandwich and tossed it onto Harry's plate. He smiled, taking a bite and leaning forward. "Hey, how are things going with Kelly these days?"

Harry lifted his hands in a gesture of peace. "Point taken, okay? Damn." He let out a long, slow sigh. "But if you actually care, I don't know. We haven't talked much. I keep thinking maybe she's just pissed and will come around when she's done being pissed."

"Good luck. Chick knows how to hold a grudge."

"Don't be rude. She's sweet."

Campbell shrugged. He felt the familiar, possessive spark burn to life; he didn't want to talk about Kelly. She was smart, she was gracious. She was polite and elegant and the perfect sort of woman for a politician. Senator Bingham and his lovely wife. They really would have made a pretty picture. But did she know him? Did she see him as he was, and love him anyways? Of course not, but still, he chased after her.

The bell above the door jingled. Speak of the devil, Campbell thought as Kelly walked in. Her eyes were cold when she noticed him, but she still strode over. "Could I get a coffee?" she asked, turning her gaze to Harry. "If you're not busy."

Harry's spine immediately evaporated. "Oh, sure. Yeah."

"I had to get going anyways," Campbell added. He stood and pushed between them, heading to the door. Campbell paused at the door and flashed Harry his brightest smile. "Lemme know when you find those balls you were missing."

There was no point waiting for an answer. Campbell headed out, wandering the streets and trying to figure out what to do. He could break into the arcade, steal the quarters, and start a lucrative career in 8-bit gaming. Grizz and his crew were out on the football field. He probably could weasel his way in with them, especially since Grizz seemed almost friendly. Or maybe he could go convert the golf course outside of town into a community garden; Cassandra hadn't taken him up on that whole screw-grass-plant-food idea yet. He just felt itchy, and he knew that meant trouble if he couldn't find a productive outlet.

"Campbell?"

He stopped, pulled from his thoughts. Elle was behind him. She was in a nice black and white dress, hair gleaming and just a touch of make-up on. Campbell tilted his head. "Hey, Elle. Going somewhere?"

Elle pursed her lips. "I was thinking about it. Helena's speaking at the church."

"You're Christian?"

"I don't know what I am anymore."

"Would you like me to walk you? I was heading that way."

"Yeah?" That managed to get a small smile from her, anyways. "I'd like that."

Campbell held out his arm, and Elle took it. "Cute necklace. Ballet slippers?"

"Mhm. My mom got it for me when I had my first solo."

"A solo is kind of a big deal in ballet, isn't it?"

"It is."

"How old were you?"

Elle blushed a little. "Oh, about seven or so. But then I got the part of the Sugarplum Fairy in my old school's production of The Nutcracker."

"That's impressive."

"Well, I'm no Lauren Cuthbertson, but I try."

"Who?"

By the time they got to the church, Campbell had been well-schooled on London's Royal Ballet. Elle gave him a curious look when he stopped at the church steps. "You're not coming in?"

"Nah, I kinda get hives around the Bible. I'll wait for you here, okay?"

Elle shook her head as she went inside. Campbell mulled around for a moment, before noticing Kyle Jasko sitting on the sidewalk nearby. He was in a wheelchair thanks to a bad accident when he was young, but he never seemed too down about it before; now, he looked like he hadn't been getting any sleep, either.

"Hey, Kyle," Campbell called out in greeting. Kyle's head snapped up. He didn't say anything back. "How's it going?"

Kyle eyed him for a moment. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Nothing. Waiting for someone?"

"Yeah. The guys in the Guard help me into the church, but I guess they're late."

Campbell looked from Kyle to the church steps. That wasn't something he'd thought about before. They were basically in a half-hearted apocalypse situation. What was that like for people like Kyle? He knew for a fact that most of the stores had small doors, narrow aisles. A lot of places only had stairs. Navigating the world was a pain in the ass as it was. With wheels, it had to be even harder.

The church doors opened, and one teen wandered out. A few seconds later, Cassandra followed. For a second, Campbell was surprised to see her; it had been a good five years since Cassandra had gone to anything resembling a sermon. Then again, people were doing all sorts of desperate things these days.

Cassandra startled a bit when she saw him, but then kept walking, eyes far away. Distracted. She didn't really look at him, but she slowed her walk so that he could keep up. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"I walked Elle over." He peered over at her, trying to read her face. She had her mask up, though, and even he couldn't figure that out. "Message not for you?"

"Yeah, oddly enough I'm still not into church services. Not a lot of people are buying what Helena's selling. They're starting to lose hope."

"I think people are doing pretty well under the circumstances, don't you?"

"For now, but we both know that won't last. Once reality settles in, I'm worried what they're going to start doing." Cassandra frowned. "People who are scared and alone can do terrible things."

"Well, at least we're not alone. You and I are some of the lucky ones. You've got Allie and I've got Sam."

"You had Sam."

Campbell stopped, lightly grabbing Cassanda's arm. She looked at him, finally, and it was cutting. So, that was it. She was pissed off. "He told you what happened."

"Of course he did." She yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Campbell, how could you?"

"You know I'm not going to be able to play by the rules you want everyone else to play by. If I get Sam out of there now, if people think I turned on him, no one will question why I'm in a home by myself. Besides. I care about Sam, but I can't take care of him. I can't give him what you can."

"Fine, but I hope you realize you can't get through this all on your own."

"I've got Harry. Elle, maybe." Campbell hesitated. Hard to tell where they stood, at this point, but he was willing to hedge his bets. "And I've got you."

Cassandra crossed her arms. She let out a little, irritated breath of air, but the look in her eyes had softened. "You do have me."

"You're right, anyways. We can't go on like this. We have to figure some things out. Make some rules."

"You almost had me fooled, that night in the church."

"C'mon, as if I'd really hurt you. I did what I had to do. You know who's with you and against you, now."

"True enough." Another kid left the church. Cassandra led them to the bench nearby; they sat back to back, like then did when they were younger, leaning against each other. "So, you're on board, then?"

"Idle hands are going to be a big problem eventually. The thing is, who's gonna decide the rules, you know? Who has all the power? That'll be interesting."

"You?"

"No," Campbell chuckled. "Fuck that. No, I'm just the idea guy."

"And what ideas do you have?"

"Lawns."

Cassandra's tone turned incredulous. "Lawns."

"We're gonna need food sources. Lawns are useless wastes of space and water." It was a rich people luxury that they couldn't afford. Not anymore. "Rip them up. Get seed packets from the stores and start planting. Also, Kyle really needs some ramps for his wheelchair. Just saying."

Bringing out her phone, Cassandra tapped something out. "I'll talk to Grizz and the others about it. It might be too late to plant anything, but Clark and Jason were in wood shop. They must be able to use a hammer."

"Cool." Campbell closed his eyes, soaking up the feeling of the sun on his skin and breathing in the smell of flowers. Waiting. But she didn't say anything else. She was waiting, too, and she was never the first to cave. "How is Sam?"

"Mm. He's hurting. He misses you, I think, but he'd never admit to it." Her tone turned dry. "It's something you two have in common, as it turns out."

"So, we both got the stubborn gene. What the hell am I supposed to do about any of this, long-term?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because you think it's a bad idea. You have that vibe."

"I do not."

"Do so."

Cassandra shifted, sitting up and pulling away so she could turn to face him. "Fine. I think there are other ways we could keep you both safe. But if you really are going to do it like this, just... Don't come around for a while. I think you both need time to think things through."

Campbell opened his mouth to argue, but then people started coming out of the church. "Looks like Helena's lecture is over. I better go get Elle."

"Of course. Thanks for the suggestions."

Nodding, Campbell turned and headed towards the small crowd of people gathering on the front steps of the church. His eyes found Elle. She was at the edge of the crowd, eyes down and face drawn. She looked lost. Sad. Still, as he approached, she looked up; her hair shone gold in the sunlight, and her blue-green eyes sparkled faintly. Absolutely gorgeous. Campbell smiled at her and offered his hand. She took it, and they began to make their way back towards Elle's home.

"Bleak service," Elle muttered. "Maybe the other kids are right. We're gonna die here."

"Maybe, maybe not. Doesn't do much good to worry about it, though, right? Like Cassandra said. We need to just focus on preparing for the long haul."

"How do you keep yourself from freaking out?"

"Lots and lots of distractions. Speaking of which, Harry said there's a game of Fugitive tonight. Wanna come? Might take your mind off things."

Elle cocked her head. "What's Fugitive?"

"Like tag, with cars." Campbell grinned as she shot him a worried look. "No, you don't run people over. Fugitives run on foot towards a safe zone, and cops hunt for them in cars. One cop drives and the other cop is the runner. The runners chase down and tag fugitives. It's whatever, but it's something to do."

"Maybe. Sounds a little too intense for me."

"I'll text you the location, if you change your mind. We're starting at ten."

"Alright."

Campbell sent her the information, but his phone buzzed with a new text a split second after. Sam. He bit his lip at the preview. Can we talk? Maybe Cassandra had said something, but that seemed unlike her where Sam was concerned. Sure, Campbell finally texted back. Where are you? A few moments later, and Sam sent a picture of himself posing with a pair of deer antlers. So, their dad's office. "Jesus christ."

"What's wrong?"

"Sam wants to see me. I should go."

"I thought you two were fighting?" Elle shrugged as Campbell glanced up at her. "Gossip travels fast."

"Figures. I bet the town is having a field day with it."

"That you're a homophobic dickbag that kicked out your deaf brother? Yep."

"I deserve that, I guess. It's just not the full story."

Elle curled her arms around herself. She studied his face a moment, then gave a small nod. "Maybe you can tell me about the full story after Fugitive."

It was a chance to explain. Campbell reached out and touched her shoulder; she didn't pull away. "Thanks. You gonna be okay By yourself?"

"Oh, I've managed before. Good luck with Sam."

Hopefully he wouldn't need much luck. It was a long walk to the office, which meant a lot of time to think about all the possible scenarios and ways things could play out. When he arrived, though, Sam was surrounded by boxes and up to his eyeballs in paper. Campbell flopped down in one of the office chairs. Sam jumped at the sudden movement, nearly dropping a folder, and for a split second Campbell almost felt bad. Maybe it'd teach the kid to be more aware of his surroundings, anyways.

"You rang, Sammy?" Campbell asked. Sam stared at him, shoulders hunched a little. He didn't answer. "Seriously. I'm not gonna bite. What are you doing here?"

Sam still didn't answer right away, but then he swallowed hard and let out a long sigh. "I'm trying to figure out why we're here. In this place."

"Any luck?"

"First one is a letter from some guy named Pfeiffer demanding $1.5 million for the smell removal." Sam picked up two papers and handed them to Campbell. "The other is a response, refusing to pay, signed by dad and Uncle Rogers. It's dated the day before we were taken."

Campbell took the papers and skimmed. It was actually worse than that; they had payed, but then they'd cancelled the check. They had purposefully screwed the guy over. "What do you think it means?"

"The smell, us being taken on the buses. It has to mean something. They have to be related some way. Maybe, I don't know."

Interesting, and definitely suspicious; it reminded Campbell of something, though he wasn't sure what. It didn't matter. Campbell focused on the inevitable outcome if those letters were ever discovered. "You have to destroy those papers."

"What? No."

"Fucking destroy them. Don't you get it? We're going to be blamed for this."

"What does that mean? We just want to know the truth."

"You're a fucking dipshit if you think it's that simple." Campbell ignored the way Sam straightened and clenched his fists. He just get the hell over it. "You and I may hate each other, but we still share our father's last name."

"So what?"

"You think things aren't gonna get bad around here? You think it's all just gonna be one big happy camping trip?"

"Is that why--"

"Look," Campbell interrupted. He knew what Sam was going to say, and there was no way they were gonna have that conversation yet. "If we're stuck in this place, things are gonna get so bad so fucking fast. And you want to tell people that our family had something to do with this?"

Sam looked down at the papers, then handed them over. Campbell took them, ripping them into tiny pieces and tossing them into the metal trashcan by the office window. One little flick of a match, and the scraps were up in flames. There was a chance Sam had copies on his phone, but Campbell chose not to push it. Sam's phone needed his fingerprint to get in, anyways. Whatever was there was probably safe from prying eyes.

"No one else knows," Sam signed. "Not even Cassandra."

"Good. Keep it that way, for now."

"What are we going to do?"

"Keep our heads down and play along until we can find a way home."

As much as Campbell loved being away from their parents, away from the pointless day to day social rules, it wasn't sustainable unless they found some sort of civilization besides their own. Campbell met Sam's eyes, and pondered saying something. Even just an apology. But Sam was the protagonist of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie-- if Campbell apologized, Sam would want an explanation, and then he'd want to talk.

But then Sam seemed to give up, shuffling his foot on the hardwood floor. "Is that it?"

He'd take the out. "I need a car. Can I have dad's key?"

Sam hated their dad's car. He took the key off the ring and handed it over, a tiny hint of relief on his face. "What do you want the car for?"

"Game of Fugitive in an hour." Campbell fiddled with the key for a moment, thinking. "You wanna go? I could use a rider."

It was no surprise that Sam shook his head. "I need to keep looking."

Well, whatever. Campbell headed towards the door. He stopped just outside of it, looking over his shoulder; Sam was still watching him, a mournful expression on his face. It sucked, but it wasn't enough to make Campbell budge. Campbell signed one last thing. Be careful. It was the best he could, or would, do.

The faces at the Fugitive start point were a lot less somber. People were bouncing, laughing, chattering among small groups. There was one group hanging out near Harry, comprised of some of the people he'd known back in their real home. He hung around the edges there while he waited for Harry to show up; they were always Fugitive partners, and now that Kelly was out of the picture, that sure wasn't going to change this time around.

One face Campbell didn't see was the one he wanted to see most. Elle wasn't there, not yet. Maybe she wouldn't show, after all.

But then Harry was hopping up onto the hood of a car, yelling at the growing crowd. "Okay, okay, we're gonna... Hello!" People settled, listening. Harry grinned. "I got some texts saying more folks are coming. We're gonna wait a few minutes before we divide up sides, see who else shows up, so just hang out."

"You look chipper," Campbell said as Harry jumped off the car and sauntered over. "Extra strong coffee?"

"What? I'm my normal self."

"Your normal self isn't chipper."

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but Campbell slid his arms around Harry's waist before her could. "Woah, what the hell? Campbell, you can't just--"

Campbell's fingers closed around a small baggy in Harry's back pocket. He pulled it out and sighed. "Really? This stuff again?"

"Don't be a hypocrite. You slipped me pills plenty of times. And besides, it's not like there's an endless supply. Just one last little party before it's gone."

"You know how I feel about you getting into the harder shit." It was bullshit. The occasional painkiller or little bag of weed wasn't the same as a cocaine addiction. "This is the last of it, right?"

"Well... No. I have one more at home."

"Harry."

"Campbell."

Whatever fight was about to start, it was cut short by the arrival of Allie. She smiled at Harry, and Harry smiled back. Campbell stared. No. No, no fucking way. "What's she doing here?"

"I invited the town. Besides, I asked her to come with me tonight."

Campbell kept his mouth shut. Harry's eyes were locked on him, almost daring him to say something. What was there to say? Harry hated being alone. Of course he moved on to another hot body before his own got cold. "Don't do anything stupid and get her hurt. I don't need to hear about it from Cassandra."

"Yeah, okay," Harry answered. Campbell was viciously pleased that the bounce had gone out of Harry's step, just a little. A hollow victory. "Whatever."

Clark came zooming up in an actual cop car, crowing about how the keys were still in the ignition. For some reason, no one found that weird as fuck; Campbell refused to get near the damn thing. They were stuck in some parallel world. A cursed car didn't seem quite that far-fetched anymore. But Clark, of course, claimed it for himself and picked someone else as his rider anyways. Good thing about everyone thinking he was evil-- less people roped him into their terrible ideas.

Harry had stomped off, dividing up the crowd and explaining the rules. Campbell tuned him out and scanned the players one last time. He didn't expect to see Elle, but he caught sight of a small figure along the outskirts of the group, talking to Grizz. She'd shown up after all. Campbell felt some spark of happiness, even if it was dimmed by Harry's bullshit.

The starting horn let out a shriek, and the fugitives took off. Elle froze, looking over at Campbell; he grinned as one of the guys yelled at her to get moving, and she bolted down the street with the others. The evening suddenly looked a lot more fun.

"Nice car," Grizz said as he wandered over. "Need a partner?"

"Would have thought you'd be someone's rider, Mister Football."

"Pulled something playing with the guys. I can still drive just fine, though."

Campbell considered the offer, then tossed Grizz the key. It'd be a chance to prod at Grizz about Elle. They climbed into the car to wait for the three minute head start to be over; he watched Grizz familiarize himself with the car, wondering how to approach the situation. The three minutes ended and they were out on the road when Campbell decided to just go for the throat. Just a matter of finding the right opening...

"Hey Campbell, how many miles per gallon does this thing--"

"So, interested in anyone?"

Nailed it.

The car jerked forward a bit as Grizz's foot slipped and hit the gas. Grizz glanced over at Campbell for a split second, before focusing intently on the road. "How do you mean that?"

"You know. Romantically. Sexually. Philosophically."

"Uh, that's kind of... Why do you ask?"

"I saw you chatting to Elle in the parking lot, so I just wondered."

Grizz visibly relaxed. "Oh, oh thank god."

"What?"

Squinting, Campbell eyed Grizz but decided to let it go. "So, you're not interested in Elle?"

"Nope. I don't really know much about her, besides the fact that her family's from Ireland. Hey, I think I spotted someone down that way. Wanna go?"

The shift in topic was obvious, but Campbell got the information he wanted. Time to focus on the game. They peeled down the street, and Campbell jumped out and raced after a fugitive who was trying to go through a locked fence. Easy. They gave the fugitive a quick ride to the gazebo-- the 'jail' for the night-- and then headed back out. Five more captured fugitives later, and they took a quick break.

Grizz sipped a water. "You're good at this."

"Eh, I was super into maps and history when I was younger. I know pretty much every street here like the back of my hand. Useful for this, anyways."

"Yeah? Where'd the best hiding place be?"

"Hm. There's an alley back behind the old video rental store. There's some bushes and a few other buildings that kind of hide it from view. We could check it out."

"Affirmative."

When they pulled up, it looked like an alleyway from a horror movie. It was dark, and utterly silent. Campbell opened the door and headed in, despite the fact that Grizz looked like they were in the Upside Down and he was expecting the Demigorgon to pop out. Sneaking down towards the back of the store, Campbell paused when he heard a twig snap; he stopped, watching and waiting.

A shape moved from the shadows and into a single beam of light from the streets. It was just enough that Campbell could see a bit of blonde hair, and the glint off a necklace chain. Campbell couldn't believe his luck. Elle was right there, mere feet away, and she hadn't seen or heard him yet. He held his breathe, waiting until her back was to him. Finally, he moved, grabbing her shoulders.

Elle yelped, jumping and spinning around. When she saw Campbell, she began to laugh, pressing a hand to her chest. "You scared the shit out of me."

He couldn't help but laugh a little, himself. "I'm sorry. Are you gonna make it?"

"I suppose." Elle smiled and held out her wrists. "Okay, you can take me to jail."

"I can take you someplace better than jail."

Elle's smile faded. She leaned a little closer. "Well, we did plan to talk after the game. Your place or mine?"

"That's entirely up to you."

"Your place, then."

Campbell brushed a lock of hair from Elle's face, taking her hand and leading her back to the car. They both hopped into the back seat. "Hey, Grizz. Mind playing chauffeur?"

Grizz peered into the rearview mirror. "Not at all. Clark called to say the game's over in ten, anyways. You two going to Harry's party?"

"Nah, just take us to my house."

"Gotcha."

He began driving, without asking for directions. Any other night, Campbell would ask Grizz how he knew the way, but it didn't matter. Elle was still holding his hand. She was looking at him like she wasn't sure yet if she actually forgave him or not, but she was coming home with him and her fingers were laced with his. It meant he had a chance to make things better.

Grizz parked in the driveway, hopping out and handing the key back over. He smiled, and gave Elle a little wave. "Thanks for the game. Have a good evening."

"You, too," Campbell replied. "Night."

Feeling nervous usually wasn't something Campbell had to worry about, but he did feel a small flicker of uncertainty as he let Elle inside and watched her look around the house. She inspected the books, the art, the furniture and fixtures. Whatever she saw must have passed the muster, because she was smiling again when she came back.

"I don't suppose a lady could ask for a beer?"

Campbell snorted. "I've got enough stashed away to last a year. A lady most certainly can have a beer."

She followed him into the kitchen and perched on one of the stools, resting her elbows on the countertop. "Well, I'll know where to come in a drought, then." Elle accepted the beer Campbell fished out of the fridge. "You really do have a beautiful home. Awfully big for one person though, isn't it?"

Popping open their drinks, Campbell let out a rough exhale. "Yeah, I guess I should try and explain that."

"Probably."

"It's complicated. I know I shouldn't have said what I said, but..." Campbell ran a hand through his hair. "You don't know Sam. Our parents doted on him. He always was the center of attention, especially when he got sick. Our parents just acted like I was a nuisance. I was always a problem to get rid of."

"What do you mean?"

"Like... Sam got all the attention. The newest toys, treats, birthday parties. Mom and dad were too busy for me, because they had work or because of the baby or because Sam needed them. And they never really got me anything, because they said I'd just break it. I couldn't have parties because I was rude to the other kids."

Elle tilted her head. "Yeah? Did you actually do those things?"

"Well. Yeah. But they never asked why, you know? I broke things because I got frustrated, and they just didn't care. I got into fights because it was the only time I felt like I could let the anger out."

"So, what does that have to do with Sam?"

"It made me hate him. And I know it's their fault, not his, but it fucked things up between us. I felt like I was always fighting over every scrap of anything with him. And when we got here, I just... I don't know. I wanted my own space, my own time. And then they start talking about sharing homes, and I just... I would hurt people. And I didn't want one of those people being Sam."

Elle rested her chin on her hand. "You could have just explained that to him, you know."

"No, because then he'd think that we could just work it out somehow. Even if he left, everyone else would wonder-- why me, and not them? Why do I get my own place?" Campbell shook his head. "Then anyone could just claim to be crazy and get their way. No, I had to actually do something. And most people love Sam and hate me, so it was the best way to prove I was the monster they thought I was already."

"Well, I don't think you're a monster. A little crazy, maybe," she added with a half smile, "but not a monster."

"Yeah, but it's not the cute kind."

"Then what kind is it?"

Campbell downed the rest of his beer. He wanted to tell her, warn her off or whatever, but he could remember Cassandra telling him not to let anyone know. Still. When he looked at Elle, something in him made him think he could trust her. And if she did react badly, who would she tell? They were both the town social pariahs. No one cared what they had to say.

But... He couldn't say it. He opened his mouth to try, but it didn't want to come out. Instead, he just shrugged and tried to smile. "The kind I don't talk about until the third date."

"Two more dates to go, then."

"Yeah?" Campbell blinked. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he could swear Elle was looking at him a bit warmer than before. Who was he to question it? He stood up and offered his hand. "Wanna go up to my room? It's comfier than the kitchen. We could watch a movie or something."

Elle finished off her beer and accepted his hand. "Only if you bring that bottle of wine I saw in the fridge."

It was just some cheap Barefoot Moscato, but he dutifully grabbed it from the fridge before heading upstairs. Elle followed him into the room; besides his family and Harry, no one else had ever been inside, and he was suddenly thankful that he kept his space clean and tidy. She explored with the same intensity that she had downstairs, not touching anything but studying everything.

"Did you take these?" she asked, pointing to the black and white photographs above his desk.

"Yeah. 7th grade photography class."

"They're very good. Have you considered getting into photography?"

"It was a thought. It'd give me a chance to see other countries."

Elle looked to his desk and lightly grazed her fingers over a small globe, the stamps he had out to sort through, a small collection of old books on world maps. "I guess I expected you to be more into video games and posters of women in bikinis than nature shots and world travel."

"I mean, I could whip out Super Smash Bros if you're disappointed."

But then Elle was right there, curling her arms around him and kissing him. Campbell froze, just for a split second, before kissing her back. Her lips were soft and tasted faintly of strawberry; when he brushed his fingers along her cheek, her skin was warm. Campbell had never allowed himself to get that close to anyone. It had always seemed just out of reach, but Elle was right there in his arms. His other hand rested on her hip, and that was when she yanked back. Moment gone.

"I'm going home. This was a mistake."

Campbell lifted his hands. "Woah, woah. Hey. I didn't mean to upset you again. I thought we were having fun."

"I don't want to have fun."

"Elle, I don't understand what's going on here. I promised I wouldn't do anything you weren't comfortable with, but you kinda seemed into this."

"Yeah, well I'm not just some skank, okay?"

"Okay, okay. I know I made a mistake at the church, but I didn't mean anything by it this time. It's just where my hand rested. I don't think you're easy or anything."

Elle brushed past him and headed towards the door, but then she stopped and turned back. "Why did you pick me? Why do you keep picking me? You barely know me."

"Because I like you." Campbell sat on the bed, gesturing at the air between them. "Alright, so I don't know you super well, but we're not strangers. I think that we've got a bit in common."

"I like you, too, but I... Look, I don't like being touched like that."

Campbell bit back the urge to ask. It wasn't his business. He nodded, raising his right hand. "I swear, I won't touch you without asking. Okay? But I need you to tell me I'm making you uncomfortable. I'm kind of new to this."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Elle looked up at the ceiling, her eyes blinking rapidly. "Can we watch a movie still?"

"Hey, of course. C'mon. You can pick whatever you want. Our DVD collection has thrilling titles like Lord of the Rings, Top Gun, and Frozen."

"Frozen, seriously?"

"Don't hate on Frozen. It's a beautiful movie about familial love and self-acceptance."

Elle sniffled and laughed at the same time, coming over and sinking on the bed next to Campbell. They were cuddled up and halfway through Let It Go when the thunderstorm rolled in; the lights flickered, and Elle pressed a tiny bit closer, and closer still when the power went out completely.

"Don't worry," Campbell tried to assure. "They'll be back on by the time the movie's over."

"How do you figure? Who's gonna fix it?"

"We've been here two weeks without anyone at the power plant. Wherever we are, whatever this is, I have to believe that it'll right itself."

"I wish I was that confident."

Campbell looked over at Elle, the glow of the DVD player illuminating her taut, worried expression. "You're safe here with me. I want you to know that. I won't let anything hurt you."

Her eyes shone as she turned her face to him. "Do you think I need someone to protect me?"

"I don't know. I need someone. I think maybe you do, too."

"Maybe." Elle rested her head on his shoulder. "Can I have some wine?"

They passed the bottle back and forth for a little while, until Elle shook her head when he offered it back. He set it aside; it wouldn't do any good to get drunker than her. Not again. "Pleasantly warm" was a good place to stop. What wasn't pleasant was that, by the time the movie was over, the rain was still pouring and the power wasn't back on. He tried not to think of what that meant in terms of frozen and refrigerated food, and focused on the fact that Elle had fallen asleep against him.

"Hey." He gently nudged her with his elbow. "It's late. Do you want me to drive you home?"

Elle stirred, but didn't move. "Can I stay here? I don't wanna be alone."

"Yeah, no problem. You can stay here and get comfy. I'll use one of the other beds."

"No. Don't go."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

Campbell felt torn. Elle was half asleep, and probably a little tipsy. Was she making a choice she'd normally make? But if she really didn't want to be alone, then he didn't want to make her upset. Waking up to find someone gone didn't sound like anything he wanted to put someone through. After a few moments of deliberation, Campbell carefully lowered Elle to the bed and tucked her in with a quilt. It was warm and a bit muggy from the storm, so hopefully a light blanket would be good enough.

Stretching out on his side of the bed, Campbell kept his distance as much as possible. He was just about asleep himself when a loud crack of lightning rang out over the house, rattling the windows. Elle mumbled something, shifting around until she was curled up at Campbell's back, one arm slung over his waist.

Never pictured being the little spoon, he thought to himself as he closed his eyes. But for someone like Elle, he could see himself getting used to it.

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averagemarvelbitch · 5 years ago

Text

Pride and Joy / PART SEVEN

I wrote more D: You can read the whole fic on AO3

---

Anastasia didn’t remember much about her days with Dr. Kudrin. She had been too young, after all, and whatever memories she had of that time were hazy and faded. But she remembered the needles. And she remembered the pain. The sort of pain that started soft like the touch of small flame and grew like a wild fire until every part of her skin was burning. It would go on for days on end. She would lay there, screaming and crying and thrashing while they poked her and took notes.

She knew that whatever they had done to her was supposed to make her faster, stronger, deadlier. And it did. She had never really noticed before all the little things that made her different from everyone else. She had way more stamina then the other little spiders, and could outrun all of them. She was quicker in battle as well, more focused than the others. And she could heal faster than the others. Bullets wounds took less than two days to heal. Stab wounds took mere hours to disappear completely, leaving no scars behind, no proof that anything had happen at all. Or at least, that’s what the files she had stolen said.

There were so many files. About who she was, who she had become. Detailed descriptions of her training sessions, containing her weaknesses and strengths. Too emotional, too headstrong, too impulsive. They talked about her relationship with Natalia: too attached to each other, might become an issue in the future. Her missions, the targets she assassinated, every piece of her life compressed in a bunch of files hidden away. Well, not hidden away anymore.

Anastasia had spent the last two years meticulously studying every single one of them. It hadn’t been easy. She was watched almost constantly, so she’d had to do it in the middle of the night, away from prying eyes. And as she studied, she planned. She planned what she would do to the people who had taken her from her family, the people who had tortured her for so many years. She dreamed every night about the day she would finally make them pay for everything they’d done, not only to her, but to Natalia as well. And the day had finally come.

The full moon shone bright in the dark sky that night as Anastasia walked towards the burning building, or what remained of it at least. She could see the many bodies fallen on the ground, the smell of burnt flesh filling her nose, but she paid them no attention. She kept on walking, her eyes glued to the old woman covered in blood, trying desperately to lift the huge block of cement from her legs. Anastasia stood beside her, looking down on her with a smirk.

“YOU! YOU LITTLE MONSTER, YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS”, the woman screamed, coughing between every other word, her voice hoarse and weak.

Anastasia put one of foot on the block of cement, pressing it down slightly, and the woman screamed in pain.

“Look around you, Eva. There’s no more Red Room. Your handlers are dead. Your building is in pieces. All your work burned to the ground”.

“You’ll regret this, Anastasia”.

“My only regret is that Dr. Kudrin died before I could kill her myself”, Anastasia replied, pointing the gun she carried to Eva’s face, “I hoped that you’d burn alive, but I’ll settle for putting a bullet in your head. It’s more mercy than you deserve. And my name is not Anastasia. My name is Abigail Stark”.

And, before Eva could open her mouth to retort, she shot the woman between the eyes without as much as a flinch. With one last look around the place she had grown up in, Abigail turned and walked away, leaving behind all the pain and suffering, and finally, finally, going home.

---

Washington, DC.

18 hours to Launch Sequence Initiation.

Nicholas Fury was fifty seven years old and he had witnessed a lot of crazy ass shit in his life, both during his time as a SHIELD agent and as director of said organization. And everything he had lived through had taught him two valuable lessons, the first being: trust no one. Some people thought that was a tough way to live. Nick preferred to think of it as a smart way to survive. He had friends, of course, people he trusted to a certain degree, who he could count on, in whom he could confide some of his, and SHIELD’s, secrets. There weren’t many, it’s true, but he had always favored quality over quantity.

The second lesson life had taught Nick was to always trust his gut. Sometimes, he would get this feeling in the pit of his stomach, like a tiny snake rattling around. It was like an alarm of sorts that screamed danger danger danger everytime something was amiss. It had gone off when he found the tesseract. It had gone off that morning, when he had tried, and failed, to decrypt the files from the flash drive Natasha had recovered from the ship. And it went off when he walked into his kitchen that night, right after opening the fridge.

He turned quickly, gun already in hand, pointed straight at the brunette who was quietly sitting at his table, watching him.

“Hi”, she said, unmoving.

“You can start with your name and why the hell you’re in my motherfucking kitchen, kid”.

“I’m Abigail Stark”.

That made Nick hesitate, the gun in his hand faltering. He quickly put himself together, tightening his hold on it, staring at the girl with suspicion.

“You look very alive for someone who died at birth”, he replied.

“I’m tough to kill. And from what I hear, I get that from my dad”.

“And am I supposed to just take your word for it?”

“Well, I don’t really know how I could prove it to you. I’d say let’s do a DNA test, but that’s not exactly a viable option at the moment, right?”

Nick continued to stare at her. She looked young, around twenty years old. Brunette, brown eyes. Her appearance did match the description Natasha had given him all those years ago, but then again, “brunette with brown eyes” wasn’t exactly a rare look. She did remind Nick of Stark, though. The defiance in her eyes, the sarcastic tone.

And that’s when he remembered. Something Natasha had told him, something only the real girl would know.

“When was the first time you ate chocolate?”

With a small smile, the girl promptly answered, “It was Christmas. Nat returned from a mission and she managed to steal a piece of chocolate. It was half eaten, but it was good. I was twelve”.

Slowly, Nick lowered the gun, still keeping his eyes on the girl. “Ok. Let’s jump to ‘why the hell you’re in my kitchen’, kid”.

“Because of this”, she said, sliding a black flash drive across the table.

“And what the hell is that?”

“Proof that Hydra infiltrated SHIELD and they’re planning on killing a lot of people real soon”.

Nick had known in his gut something was very wrong. He just really wasn’t expecting something like that.

“I’m hungry. Do you have anything to eat?”

He made her Mac and Cheese while she used his computer. It was from a box and it tasted like cardboard, but Nick guessed that for someone who had probably spent her entire life eating less than edible food, this was a banquet worth of a king. He added some bacon to it. Might as well put some flavor in this shit.

“So, you hacked their computer?”

“If by hacked you mean created a program from scratch that imitated the system to fool their A.I. long enough for me to get in and make a copy of all the files they had encrypted there, then, yeah, sure, I hacked their computer”, she replied, taking a huge bite of mac and cheese, “what’s this?”

“Macaroni and Cheese”.

She nodded, swallowing before taking another forkful of the dish, “I like this”.

“Hold on, you said they had an A.I.?”

“Not had, have. And I’m not one hundred percent sure it’s an actual A.I. What I know is it’s a program that kept rewriting itself every time I tried to break it down. But it was advanced, more advanced than anything I had ever worked with, or against. Also, I don’t know where the source of this program is, but it ran a pretty large portion of the missions in the Red Room”.

Nick sipped from his glass of whiskey, stealing a bacon from the girl’s plate before sitting down beside her.

“You have the names there?”

“There’s a list, yeah. Politicians, FBI agents, CIA agents, SHIELD agents, they’re everywhere”.

“Is there an Alexander Pierce on the list?”

Abigail stopped typing for a second and threw a look at Fury before finding the file and pressing play. She ate her Mac and Cheese as he listened.

“Good. And the girl? She better not come back, Pierce. I have enough trouble with one Stark, I don’t need another”.

(…)

“No, no. We need him. For now. But you’ll be the first to know when he outlives his usefulness”.

“Very well, then. Hail Hydra”.

“Motherfucker”.

“Yeah”, the girl replied.

“You said they have a plan. What’s the plan?”

“I don’t know”, she confessed with a grimace, “all I know is that they’re calling it Project Insight”.

“SHIT”, Nick shouted, getting up so fast the chair he was sitting on fell to the floor, “MOTHERFUCKERS”.

“I take it you know what Project Insight means?”

“It means we screwed up, kid. I screwed up”.

“How do we unscrew it?”

“Pierce doesn’t know I know. I’m going to try to delay Project Insight”.

Abigail shook her head. “That’s a bad plan. He might suspect something is going on. Especially after the boat thing”.

“And if he does, we’ll have a plan for that as well”.

---

16 hours to Launch Sequence Initiation.

Needless to say, Abigail hated Fury’s plan. It was sloppy, relied too much on sheer dumb luck and had a very high chance of going really wrong really fast. But still, he insisted on it, so Abigail agreed, even if against her will.

Fury had given her a special earpiece, so they could talk through the whole thing and keep each other informed. There wasn’t much she could do to help at the moment, so she stayed away, hacking the cameras at the Triskelion, watching the man’s every move as he entered the snake’s nest.

The exchange between Fury and Pierce had been rather boring and anticlimactic. The real action began a few moments later, when four police cars slammed into his SUV.

“I told you this was a bad plan”, she said, re-booting the SUV’s system from a distance.

“Just get out of here”, he complained, using the machine gun embedded on the car.

As soon as the system was back, Fury stepped on the accelerator, trying very hard to put some distance between himself and his attackers.

And then he came. Abigail saw him through the traffic cameras and almost shouted. The Winter Soldier. The car flipped over, sliding right past the man in black, who’s only action was to take a step to the side, never taking his eyes off his target.

“Fury, you need to get the hell out of there! RIGHT NOW!”

“I got it”, he replied with a grunt of pain. Abigail heard a weird noise she couldn’t quite identify and then the sound of heavy boots hitting the water as someone ran.

“I’m in the sewers. Headed to Rogers now”.

“You don’t get it. You’re a dead man walking, Fury. The Winter Soldier doesn’t stop until his target is dead”.

A few seconds of silence before Fury replied, “Then I guess I’m gonna have to die today. Call Hill, tell her to bring the drug. She’ll know what it means”.

---

10 hours to Launch Sequence Initiation.

“Well, as far as stupid ass plans go, this one certainly takes the fucking cake”.

“It worked, didn’t it?”

Abigail turned to look at Fury, shaking her head. “You’re unbelievable”.

To be fair, yes, the plan had worked. Everyone now thought Fury was dead and people don’t hunt dead men. This gave them at least a bit of freedom to work the issue in relative peace. But, as Abigail insisted on reminding the director, at a very high price.

“He’s going to send the Soldier after them. He sent him after you in broad daylight. They don’t care about being exposed anymore, they just care about getting the job done”.

“That makes them sloppy”, Fury replied from his bed, grunting in pain as he tried to sit up.

“That makes them dangerous”, Abigail countered, walking anxiously from one side of the room to the other, “You need to call him in”.

“You think Rogers hasn’t done that already? Stark is probably flying his ass to the country right now. Thor and Banner are probably already on route as well”.

“You need to bring them here. So we can come up with a better plan of attack”, she insisted, but Fury cut her off.

“So you can meet Stark, you mean”. Abigail didn’t answer, just crossed her arms and looked away. “You’ll get the chance, kid”.

“Director”, came the voice from the door. Hill was standing there, looking perfectly put together as usual, a cell phone on her hands, “We just received a message from Romanoff. They ran into some trouble, but they’re fine. They’re going after Jasper Sitwell”.

“They?”, Abigail inquired, looking hopeful.

“The Avengers”.

“Send them our location. Tell Romanoff to send Thor and Banner over here. If they manage to hack our devices and get our coordinates, we’re going to need the big guns here”.

“Yes, sir”, Hill replied, already typing on her phone.

“Take a small team, shadow them. Be ready for extraction, if needed”.

“I’m going with you”, Abigail immediately said, walking towards Hill, “Don’t. I’m going”, she added as soon as Fury opened his mouth to disagree.

With a sigh, he nodded at Hill, and they both walked out of the room.

It was time to lend a helping hand to Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

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