#but i cant tell which ones and i cant tell if im being unreasonable or if these are normal things to expect out of a relationship/friendship

[funkypurpleradiohost]

Why the fuck are they making updating my disability accommodations so long. I cant fucking get like any work done and like the earliest I can schedule a meeting to update the accommodations is more than a week away. It's only been a few weeks and I'm so behind because certain teachers refuse to adhere to my accommodations because they are being so fucking pedantic about the wording in the updated policies.

[toadbelly]

.

[theelmoarchive]

Sanders Sides theory (rant). I know im mainly a mh acc here but I have thoughts i need to get out there

(just fyi this theory is Roman centric, I know most TSS people nowadays are talking ab Orange and Logan so if Roman's not interesting then continue on ���🔥)

(Also slight TW, talking ab the sides "ducking out" and depression themes, so yeah👍👍)

Okay so. I was scrolling through Sanders Sides theories and found that no one seems to have this theory, even though I thought the Roman angst enjoyers like me would be writing this all over the place but. Ig that means I need to talk about it.

I've had this theory for years now, since the day I first watched SVS Redux.

I think Roman is going to duck out.

I dont know if I have to explain why but. I mean, just looking at the explosive end SVS Redux had will tell you a lot.

He doesn't belive Patton when he tells him they love him. He thinks Thomas has lost all faith in him in favor of the person Roman views as the epitome of evil. He's been switching views left and right to stay on Patton's side (because Thomas prides himself on his morals), but he always ends up doing something wrong - he always ends up as an antagonist. He no longer believes that he is the one thing that being has kept him stable since "Am I Original?" - Thomas' hero. The only side he has a stable and positive relationship with is VIRGIL of all people. And tbh that could quickly be ruined too. Logan is second, though, but that's EXTREMELY fragile, as we've seen.

Roman always does something wrong and it will and has sent him over the edge. From Roman's perspective, with a very flawed view of everyone around him, he is inherently the thing that flaws Thomas.

+ Roman is really dramatic obviously, so ofc he would do this.

When you look at Virgil's reasonings for ducking out, it seems plausible after everything Roman has gone through recently, too. I mean like:

"I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore"

Why would Roman keep fighting a battle he knows he will never win?

"Well, It didn’t seemed like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear any time I showed up."

Again, from Roman's perspective, he is constantly and consistently antagonized.

"If I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would've shown up I would've shown up in person like I usually do."

[same thing]

"I actually think you were right to not want me around."

Roman fears that he is becoming the villain (as we see in SVS, SVS Redux and DWIT).

(In fact, Roman has already said something quite similar to that last one in sentiment.

In SVS Redux, Roman says this, which is pretty funny because of the dramatics and the stupidity, and does get shot down quickly, but I am begging you to listen to him.

"The blame falls to me. If you're missing that do-gooder drive... I think It's because I'm in the driver seat... And I'm an awful driver... Perhaps... Perhaps I should let Patton take the wheel.")

(2nd sidenote to the Virgil quotes, can we talk ab Thomas' acting again I just love how tired Virgil is in AA. He's so. Troubled. I love him.)

WAIT ALSO I FORGOT TO ADD THIS UNTIL I WAS AB TO POST IT-

"I've always aimed to protect you,"

THIS!! First of all his face makes me so sad BUT SECOND OF ALL yeah. Roman core idk what else to say, you get it right.

"I thought I was your hero."

So yeah.

Anyway, I think the episode where Roman does this will be centered around depression. Without Roman, Thomas is depressed. Let me explain this further.

Roman is Thomas' creativity, imagination, ego, passion, love, wills and wants, hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm.

Without any of that, what is left? A guy who can't even will himself out of bed, but can still feel the nagging voice of reason and logic telling him how unreasonable he's being. A guy who cant will himself to talk to friends, family and loved ones, but can still feel sorrow for letting them down and worrying them. A guy who can't will himself to pursue creative content that he relies on for a living but can still feel anxious about letting millions of people down and never being able to create again. A guy who cant even make food for himself or brush his teeth, but still knows he NEEDS to take care of himself. A guy whose only creativity is activly trying to disturb and scare him.

So yeah thats really awesome idk.

Furthermore, I think the sides might be SEVERELY impacted.

It has been said many times over the series that the sides are purely figments of Thomas' IMAGINATION. so. Without Roman, I doubt anything would be left. Obviously, if Roman does duck out, I don’t think they'd all immediately just cease to exist because an episode still needs to occur, but I find it likely that they'd all start slowly fading or maybe even "malfunctioning", glitching, putting them on a timer to get back Roman and making it far more tense.

Is this theory weird?????? I feel like it's the natural progression TO ME but I've seen no one even getting near this and im just confused ghfhfhfh. Maybe it is kind of weird and im just too much of a Roman enthusiast. SORRY I LOVE ANNOYING WEIRDO FREAKS!!!! AND IF I WAS HIM ID DUCK OUT TOO BECAUSE NO ONE IS APPRECIATING HIM ☹️☹️☹️ EVEN THOUGH HE'S LITERALLY WHAT MAKES THOMAS DO THINGS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anyway.

I also think it fits really well because of Prinxiety's parallels, such as:

(using the ship name just as a duo name because that's what I usually do I am not trying to push the prinxiety agenda although I am a fan of it ghfyfgfh)

"Thanks everyone... Well, almost everyone."

And

"I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well most if you, but-"

The only difference in these two is obviously that Virgil just silently ducks out, while Roman has the entire "You make us better" speech, probably effectivly saving Virgil and Thomas, because it seems like Virgil was going to insist.

(Also another sidenote that I think everyone will agree with: WE NEED A "YOU MAKE US BETTER" SPEECH BY VIRGIL FOR ROMAN that is all)

Also. Who can forget.

Virgil saying that he tried to "duck out" and then

"That's a thing you can do?"

😐

Do you understand what I'm saying. Do you. Huh.

Okay anyway.

Idk how to end this I feel like theres still more I wanna say but i forgot. In conclusion: prin up that xiety. Reminder that FWSA was real and not a fever dream. I lied this is actually prinxiety propaganda.

But Hey That's Just A Theory. A really quite depressing and sad theory. Thanks for tumbling down a hill with me 🫶

[slug-cube]

I cant believe i have to say this but if you still hate bkdk in 2023 you need SERIOUS help in reading compheresion. let me run it down for you real quick about midoriyas character:

he is strong headed and fucking stubborn. no, he wouldnt have killed himself, and no, i dont care if you relate to midoriya and hate bakugou because guess what. midoriya isnt YOU. midoriya isnt LIKE YOU. he doesnt think of himself as a victim, and he doesnt hate bakugou, and if i have to say this one more time im going to lose my mind.

the "bakugou abused midoriya at a inch of his life" is just WRONG LMAO hori made it clear that bakugou was at his peak shittiness on episode ONE. even the guys he hung out with said "you went to far- this isnt like you dude" which means his behavior was out of place and unsual. and guess what? afterwards? he didnt cross that line ever again.

how does midoriya feel about it? well i thought it was pretty clear- but heres a refresher: when bakugou said for midoriya to kill himself, what did midoriya do? he got upset. why did he get upset? not at bakugou- he was upset because bakugou would get in trouble. not because bakugou told to off himself, but because possibly bakugou would recieve punishment. he did not give a shit that bakugou was being an asshole, because he was going to do what he wanted anyway. he was going to become a hero anyway. he was going to do whatever it takes anyway, because he is EXCACTLY like bakugou abiet more unreasonable and implusive.

im sorry but midoriya isnt a helpless ray of sunshine that needs your help in saving him. he broke the bones in his arms until recovery girl said "hey listen, if you pull this crap one more time- your arms wont work. period." and yknow what he thought about instead. "ill just use my legs! and break those instead!" BECAUSE HES FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY!!! YOU GUYS!!! HE BROKE HIS HAND AND USED HIS FINGER ON HIS CHEEK TO CREAT A POWERFUL WAVE TO HIT TODOROKI WITH. YOU THINK HE ISNT CAPABLE OF TELLING BAKUGOU TO FUCK OFF!?!?!

you seriously underestimate him and im tired of it!!! hes more feral than bakugou is!!!!!!! you should be SCARED of him. he would wreck his own shit just to wreck yours. like i dont know where this fanon fucking izuku self came from but STOP TREATING HIM LIKE A INNOCENT DOE WHO CANT DO SHIT. hes the mc for a reason. now go away <3 forever <33

[weirdmageddon]

long mediation on jade and dave’s relationship - part 2

part 1 is here

this part is essentially about dave and jade’s personalities, their basic dynamic, and how it works. and addressing some things ive seen said about dave in moments that people remove from context because they dont weigh these contexts and prior ones. if you want a post that goes into dave’s attitude towards jade (conclusion: he cares about her a lot) here it is

part 2: switcheroo + misconceptions about dave's role in dave and jade's relationship

something interesting i realized while writing this is the thing about grimbark jade is that she is no nonsense when her normal self is all about nonsense and entertaining silly things because she can see the merit in them. in fact she is always having a chuckle caused by dave's sense of humor and im sure dave got used to interacting with jade like that so wtf with grimbark jade

EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her! EB: but that jackass won't shut up and stop rapping and stuff. GG: hahaha GG: he is so silly! (p.293)

TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich GG: eww dave no TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build GG: no this is so lame GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons! TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you GG: heheheh GG: why dont we play in the snow later (p.3024)

GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is! GG: its so cute GG: so the baby frogs show up on this pad here? GA: Yes GG: i cant wait to try it GA: What Are You Laughing At There GG: oh GG: lol GG: dave just has a lot of funny stuff to say about all this GA: What Is He Saying GG: oh you know, a bunch of silly stuff GG: theres too much to copy/paste! GA: Hmm GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you -- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "daveisafunnyguy.txt" -- GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That GG: hahaha (p.3312)

JADE: *snicker* JOHN: what? JADE: nothing JOHN: is someone messaging you through the game? JADE: hehe JOHN: who is it? JADE: pffff! JOHN: dammit, jade... JADE: its davesprite, hes playing too JOHN: oh. JOHN: don't tell him any of our strategies. he is the enemy! JADE: we have strategies? JOHN: um... JOHN: ok, first, tell him we have strategies. then, don't tell him them. JADE: hahahahahahaha JOHN: oh god. JOHN: what is it now? JADE: did you know... JADE: davesprite is a funny guy? JOHN: meh, he's alright i guess. JOHN: i give most of his jokes a passing grade. sometimes as high as a solid b+! JADE: i just told him you said that JADE: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche" JOHN: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now! (p.4732)

in a way i feel like their roles parallel dave and jade in the earlier acts from homestuck, but inverted (and twisted/not as nice cause grimbark jade is under nefarious influences)

dave approaches the world from a highly pragmatic position. his ego (in the purely psychoanalytical sense) that he holds himself to, shows to the world, and what he tends to reason through is one that’s about relaxed competence. he’s critical of unreasonable actions and takes it upon himself to guide others into being more efficient in practical, realistic ways. he sees that jade struggles in these initially but she readily accepts his help, which is more than glad to provide.

this doesn’t say anything bad about jade harley. this doesn’t make her stupid, or in need the saving from a knight in shining armor nor does it make dave condescending towards her. it’s information that he is able to provide and that she appreciates and trusts his assistance with while she sees through the things that she prioritizes like helping others with matters of hidden opportunities / the big picture and interpersonal needs which are completely out of dave’s league, something he highly respects but doesnt feel its his greatest asset towards other people like jade does. jade is very into science and gadgetry, but remember that she relies heavily on her sharp intuition rather than straight up pragmatism like dave would. jade really is exceptional and multitalented but she doesn’t know how she does the things she does half the time!

(p.790)

even though dave acknowledges this it doesn’t really bother him

TG: hey TG: oh TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage (p.829)

GG: i want to tell him happy birthday and ask him about his birthday package! TG: oh yeah TG: i was being sort of cagey and told him to check the mail cause i was wondering if mine came yet GG: i think it did! TG: yeah? GG: and i think mine came too TG: so uh TG: i guess you want to know if he likes it or something? GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know! TG: hmm alright (p.382)

TT: Jade is connected with you? TT: Where did she get the discs? TG: i dont know how does she do any of the loopy batshit nonsense she does (p.1401)

but because she’s gotten by on intuition and her dreams for most things, she’s not as adapted to the rationale behind actions. dave can sense her struggling and wants to help because it’s basically his mission for everyone, not just jade. but that’s the information that jade is glad to be led by and continues to unconsciously prompt him with. she encourages his practical ways and doesn’t tell him to fuck off or just straight up ignore his advice which dave interprets as his strengths being needed by someone else

GG: dave! GG: are you busy? GG: i dont have much time! GG: i am about to make my entry item, and its a little confusing GG: i think the more players we add, the trickier they are to... um...... GG: activate! GG: like yours was GG: i figured we could brainstorm about it, while john fusses with the kernel GG: helloooooo? TG: nak nak nak GG: :o (p.2907)

TG: yeah honestly i figured wed have to do something like this TG: so i guess here we are doing it GG: doing what?? TG: well youre my server player remember GG: yes TG: i need you to deploy something first TG: in my apartment TG: in a few hours ill go back there and we can continue this GG: oh jeez, a few hours???? -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- TG: yeah TG: as in a few seconds TG: im back at my place now GG: fastest hours :o TG: yeah TG: now TG: deploy the intellibeam laserstation GG: but that costs so much grist!!! TG: no it costs practically nothing TG: check out how much ive got GG: omg... GG: what does this thing do? TG: its mostly pretty stupid and useless TG: but itll come in handy here TG: it reads captcha codes GG: on the back of cards? TG: yeah GG: but GG: we can already read those! TG: some are too garbled and complicated TG: the human eye cant decipher them TG: needs sophisticated scanning technology TG: and artificial intelligence to figure it out GG: hmm GG: but isnt the whole point of captchas that only humans can read them? GG: and not robots??? TG: yeah well TG: thats why this is so dumb (p.3025 / 3026)

TG: thisll be the disc i use for your connection TG: while the original will stay bound to roses connection GG: so you will be the server for BOTH us ladies??? GG: you just keep getting smoother, i cant handle all this smoothness TG: well technically TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh... GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless TG: then he can start hopping around time like i did TG: make a ton of money and stuff TG: eventually become me TG: and become your server player GG: ok i think i understand that! TG: yeah see its not hard to get the hang of TG: in the meantime ill kind of loiter around this timeframe to help you out for a while GG: yessss thanks dave <3

TG: im just going to cut right to the chase and upgrade your alchemiter so you can avoid a lot of bullshit TG: ill give you some codes and you can punch cards and slip em into jumper blocks GG: yaaaaaaaaaaaay! (p.3030 - 3032)

jade has strengths that dave has weaknesses in too, which dave himself points out!!!

TG: ok so TG: the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass TG: please advise GG: i think your sprite wants to hatch it! GG: awww TG: do you think thatll take more than four hours GG: hmm... GG: i dont know it looks like its pretty warm where you are TG: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak GG: maybe not too long then???? GG: i guess we'll find out! TG: maybe i should try to get it back TG: and put it in the microwave GG: :( (p.1507)

dave assumed the egg needed to be heated to break and allow him to enter the game, so his course of action is to go up there and get it himself and use whatever means are at his disposal. that is a logical, straightforward thing to do. he doesnt rely on uncertainty and blind trust that things will just work out when he has the ability to take action in a way that makes sense; that’s jade’s thing. but it turns out jade’s intuition for how to solve dave’s entry puzzle was right! it was actually a test of patience. he later says this to jade

GG: you guys are all so much better than me, i feel sooooo lame TG: we all start out somewhere TG: remember how i was scrambling up that tower to get that egg like an idiot TG: what the hell was i doing TG: i was like goddamn pooh bear in a tree reaching up his fat fuckin pooh paw for some mother fuckin honey GG: heehee TG: so even though im awesome now at one point i was plausibly likened to an autistic stuffed animal TG: and you even knew what to do TG: you told me how it worked all christopher robinning my ignorant ass about that egg TG: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB TG: so maybe youre startin out with more sense than me GG: maaaybe GG: :) (p.3025)

hes pretty much like jade's hypeman but in his own sort of lowkey way and is actually sweetly reassuring to her. this includes davesprite btw

GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill :( TG: no you can kill them TG: youll get better dont worry (p.3024)

GG: hmmmm... GG: i dont know if i get that but ok! TG: well yeah TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will GG: i will? TG: yup (p.3024)

DAVESPRITE: as a sprite im supposed to help him with his quest JADESPRITE: oh yeah JADESPRITE: im supposed to help jade too, but...... JADESPRITE: *sniffle* DAVESPRITE: shes doing alright dont worry about it JADESPRITE: ok, ill try... JADESPRITE: shes a lot more brave than me i think JADESPRITE: she brought me back thinking i could help her and all i did was disappoint her and everyone else JADESPRITE: you came back as a sprite and youre managing to do important things... JADESPRITE: but i just feel so scared and helpless DAVESPRITE: sounds like you came back because jade made the decision for you DAVESPRITE: i made the decision to come back myself maybe itd be different if you had the same chance JADESPRITE: i dont know if i would have if i had the chance JADESPRITE: but i would like to not feel so useless to everybody DAVESPRITE: i think everyones on top of this DAVESPRITE: theres not much for us to do anymore (p.3927)

DAVESPRITE: so jade must have done something right DAVESPRITE: to wake her up and get the forge going DAVESPRITE: dont know what she did though JADESPRITE: probably something amazing JADESPRITE: she is still working so hard to help everyone JADESPRITE: i guess i used to be that way... JADESPRITE: but ive completely forgotten how DAVESPRITE: are you sure (p.3945)

JADESPRITE: it reminds me of when i died JADESPRITE: and i was trying to wake john up JADESPRITE: i was scared then too JADESPRITE: but i didnt let the fear stop me from trying to save him DAVESPRITE: what would you want to do DAVESPRITE: if you werent scared JADESPRITE: i have no idea JADESPRITE: i guess try to help JADESPRITE: what is there to do? DAVESPRITE: well DAVESPRITE: i was going to bring this sword to dave JADESPRITE: oh noo JADESPRITE: does that mean youre going to leave? DAVESPRITE: no DAVESPRITE: i was gonna say DAVESPRITE: im not in any shape for more adventuring DAVESPRITE: i figure this is probably my last stop JADESPRITE: :( DAVESPRITE: but maybe this is a way you can help JADESPRITE: you mean... JADESPRITE: that i should give him the sword? DAVESPRITE: if you want JADESPRITE: but i dont want to leave you here either DAVESPRITE: maybe you dont have to actually go anywhere DAVESPRITE: you oughta have a lot of special powers remember DAVESPRITE: because of ascending to doghood JADESPRITE: oh yeah! DAVESPRITE: try doing your spacey thing DAVESPRITE: i mean not to sound condescending or anything but its got to be like borderline omnipotence pretty much DAVESPRITE: just put your mind to it (p.3946)

knowing all of this about dave and jade’s personalities and how they work together, i’ve see people get on dave’s case about making jade slap herself in the face after she put the dead bird into his kernelsprite while he was preoccupied with taking a leak

dave freaks the hell out when he realizes she’s asleep; he needs to wake her up because she needs to help him get into the game while requires pragmatism and reasonable actions so that he’s not crushed to death by an imminent meteor. or falling plumbing fixtures. the goal wasn’t to show her who’s in control or whatever or to be mean (do people seriously think he would do that to be mean to her just to slap a girl?) it was strictly to wake her up since he has no means of influencing that besides getting creative

while asleep, jade doesn’t think logically and certainty not to the extent dave needs her to be right now. she’s scattered lalalalala and can forget about limitations or consequences in the real world and also has a short memory span while dreaming: e.g. “4 hours until what?” and she put something into the kernelsprite right after dave asked her not to because she forgor </3 and jade does acknowledge this about her dreaming self btw

GG: i mean, i only talked to you when i was asleep! i am kind of different when im dreaming... GG: i forget things, and at times im not totally sure whats real GG: dont you remember thats what its like to dream on prospit? (p.3056)

dave literally says “we need to wake you up youre not very logical like this” and he does apologize about making her dreambot wake-up slap her

i also see people say that dave thought of jade as helpless and he needs to be the hero and that's why "davejade is not good actually"

TG: but ok i mean isnt that what heroes should be doing TG: working to take down the bad guy without a whole lot of this fuckin grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans that got nothin to do with fighting him TG: like always biding our time and tiptoeing around the unbeatable god boss TG: johns too nice to get mad TG: rose spends all her time calculating TG: too focused on machiavellian ploys of sabotage to try anything drastic TG: jade is TG: i dont even know TG: probably more a liability if she got it in her head to take him down TG: if anything id bet she just needs protection GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG H3R3 D4V3, 1N TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T 1S ST1LL B31NG 4BOUT YOU TG: im just wondering TG: when does someone actually step up TG: jacks got shit to pay for (p.3703)

this minor thread gets followed up on in the pesterlog where jade contacts dave and eventually she concludes jack needs to be stopped and dave's like ... "oh shit" in his head. "oh shit" as in jade's got Game good for her go jade, "oh shit" as in she's going to be ripe for the stabbing cause the idea is in her head now, and "oh shit" as in this moment is the seed of why im going to have to rehearse jade accidentally killing me over and over and i cant tell her about it. due to this he is always fated to die in the alpha timeline both standing up to jack and to protect jade. it's woven into his story. but he was wrong about everyone else also! which i dont see brought up when that quote is used? rose does something drastic (pilots the moon into the furthest ring) and john gets mad (on the ship) and jade is the opposite of needing protection (she’s the only one jack won’t stab and also she ends up so fucking OP she has to be basically written out of act 6) so it's less a thing about jade specifically but to show that in hindsight dave was wrong about ALL his friends. which is an interesting discussion to be had about him in itself, but not now. this is the most sane and well-thought out interpretation of it ive seen

"In general, though, I think Dave has a tendency not uncommon to [thirteen] year olds (or… humans in general, if we’re being honest here) to cast everyone else as a player in his own story and characterize them in ways that fit what he wants. There’s the famous chunk where he says John never gets angry, Rose will never stop scheming long enough to take action, and Jade’s a liability, only to be proven wrong in every count. That fits his understanding of these people and his ideal relationship with them - friend, actor, protector, the one in the group who can be the hero." "Yes, I think Dave probably saw Jade as the most supportive and least judgmental friend. I’m not sure if that impacted his incorrect judgment of her since that’s kind of a pattern for him in general, but I guess it could’ve."

and also putting this solely on dave is kind of ... ehhhhh? because john says the same thing about jade but i don't see anyone getting on his case for it.

CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA. CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED. EB: what!!! CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT. CG: JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. EB: ok, well what about this. EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her? EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died. EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice. CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY. EB: sorry. :( CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON. CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION. (p.3869 / 3871)

and also keep in mind dave does absolutely change his perception about jade's strength??

DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that (p.6384)

DAVE: gotta keep em napping DAVE: especially jade im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got DAVE: cant let her turn those against us (p.7485)

so back to grimbark jade and the switching of these roles, dave doesn’t entirely lose his pragmatic bent. that’s still the way he thinks about stuff through but his time on the meteor has softened him and allowed him to become more reflective on big-picture things such as his role in everything

ironically this is the exact reason for his clash with grimbark jade is because she’s trying really hard to make him do stuff and it’s stuff that he’s not going to budge on because he doesn’t think it’s practical

JADE: why not? JADE: our empress can hardly have a knight with such rusty combat skills in her service DAVE: will you cut it out with the evil jade baloney DAVE: im not going to fight you DAVE: my rooftop dueling days are OVER JADE: en garde! DAVE: ugh DAVE: even if we just went balls out jackass BANANAS with our swords here i mean realistically how much appreciable advancement in my battle skills would even result from that DAVE: are you actually thinking this through or just going through the vaguely nefarious motions that come with the territory of being evildog!jade JADE: im gonna go through the vaguely nefarious motions of kicking your ass in a minute if you dont put up your dukes!!! DAVE: yeah you probably will DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that JADE: by using your time trickery! JADE: come on dave do your timey thing JADE: get creative, make lots of copies of yourself or something... outsmart me! DAVE: no! JADE: yes!!! DAVE: ok here i go JADE: !!!!! DAVE: wait DAVE: nah JADE: grrr JADE: dave, just try a little time travel to get this fight started JADE: see look, one of your time doubles is surely predestined to come from a few minutes in the future and appear behind me for a surprise attack, riiiight about... JADE: now! JADE: ... JADE: no wait JADE: riiiiiiiiiight... JADE: ... JADE: ... JADE: NOW! JADE: .... JADE: ..... JADE: dave why is your future self being such a wet blanket DAVE: i told you DAVE: im not time traveling DAVE: i think im giving it up for good actually (p.6384)

one thing floral mentions in her post is that dave is pushing jade for answers about her failed relationship with davesprite

DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this DAVE: what happened with you and him anyway JADE: none of your business >:p DAVE: it kind of is DAVE: hes bird me DAVE: that clearly means i have a right to know JADE: that doesnt make any sense! DAVE: you said he had issues DAVE: what issues JADE: augh! JADE: forget i mentioned it DAVE: was he talking shit about me the whole time or something DAVE: i know he resents me for being the real dave JADE: dont say that, you arent the real dave! JADE: well you are, but phrasing it like that is so mean! JADE: hes just as real as you, and when you imply he isnt you sound like a jerk!!! DAVE: man i knew it DAVE: i knew he was poisoning your view of me all those years DAVE: and i wasnt there to say anything or defend against his slander so now of course you think im a neurotic douche (p.6386)

and while it is true nobody is obligated to share the details of their relationship, there is a LOT of evidence to believe dave was asking because he wants to be a good person and, to me his words here, and his past and future actions relative to this point, show that he’s not as messed up of a person as grimbark jade is making him out to be. let’s dive into it. think on this: why does dave care so much what jade thinks about him? he started getting “neurotic” halfway through the conversation once jade brought up her feelings about him

JADE: THE ONLY REASON I THINK YOURE A NEUROTIC DOUCHE IS BECAUSE YOURE ACTING LIKE ONE NOW!!! DAVE: yeah but i only started acting like a neurotic douche like half way through this conversation DAVE: you clearly had an axe to grind with me from the start and i want to know why DAVE: what did i ever do to deserve this shit from you JADE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!! DAVE: what DAVE: i did DAVE: when (p.6386)

he’s genuinely so lost because he hadn’t had contact with any extension of jade in 3 years. alpha timeline dave has been sensitive towards jade for basically forever and especially now that he’s had time to grow up. he is not going to allow any version of himself hurt jade, and thats why hes asking so many questions to her about the nature of the relationship and what happened

JADE: ok not you JADE: davesprite did JADE: BUT YOURE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY! DAVE: whoa no way DAVE: thats such an unfair characterization we are completely different dudes JADE: you just said you had a right to know what happened between us because, and i quote, "hes bird me" DAVE: no i know DAVE: i was playing the "hes bird me" card because it was convenient to whatever it was i was saying at the time DAVE: i forget what point i was making when i said that JADE: *growl* DAVE: but thats not the point im making now DAVE: he and me are just DAVE: crazy different yo DAVE: hes got fuckin wings!!! DAVE: he also presumably takes a dump and lays eggs out of the same ghostly hole DAVE: ... DAVE: ew man whyd i have to go there JADE: *SNARL* DAVE: ok if he broke up with you or whatever that was because of his dumb bird issues not my issues DAVE: theres no way i would have done that to you (p.6386)

what dave means to say by “hes bird me because it was convenient to say at the time but it doesnt apply to this circumstance” is exactly what i was getting at in part 1 of this series of posts. yes, they are the same people at their very foundation, different reflections of a single character, but up to a point. there’s a gray area of whether or not we can call dave and davesprite the same person. in terms of this conflict though, dave should be regarded as a separate individual because of their diverging history up to that point and adolescent-teenage growth in different environments and under different circumstances. even if dave doesn't know what hes trying to say

he wants to know what this alternate version of himself did to hurt jade so much. even if grimbark jade really is bringing dave into some shit he had nothing to do with.

see the thing is, to me dave could have easily handled being accused a lot worse and say something like “youre overreacting” or something. that wouldve been dickish. but he doesn’t, he never does. he really seems to be more motivated by like, “woah what?? whats his problem? are these about issues i still have and dont know they were hurting jade or are they uniquely davesprite’s?”

like, this isn’t a joke to him even if his main form of communication through humor to lighten the mood (jade loves dave’s silliness dont forget all the times she’s giggled because dave was “so silly” and “hes a funny guy”). immediately after rescuing the mayor from eviljade’s lava kick, he was going to give davesprite a piece of his mind and this shows he is sincerely concerned about what an alternate version of himself did to break jade’s heart. he REALLY fuckin wants closure on it because he cares about her feelings so much

i don’t see this other side covered in floral’s post, but evildog jade here is Also pushing dave to do something that he is uncomfortable with as well, which is to use time travel.

dave stopped time traveling so he wouldn’t “have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody”, stating he was “never that cool with it” to rose back in act 5. around the same time when karkat talks to john, he says “TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER [FIGHTING JACK WITH JADE], AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH” which honestly makes me think that whole event was the nail in the coffin for dave on time traveling. seeing himself die fighting jack and knowing it was coming and he couldnt tell jade no matter how much he wanted to that her bullets were going to be the cause. this is the last straw for him regarding time traveling it affected him that much

remember the last lines of pesterlog jade had with dave before being separated? i mentioned it earlier--the one where jade decided jack needs to be stopped and they should “come up with a better plan than Rose’s suicide mission to stop him. Dave suggests the idea is futile, but lets her know she’d come to her own decision regardless, and he’d be available to talk later if needed” (from recap 3)

GG: well maybe im just being naive... GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me! GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him? GG: i dont know if we should rule it out! TG: well TG: youre about to do what youre about to do TG: and im not going to tell you not to TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway TG: so ill just say TG: whats next is up to you TG: and if later you want to talk about it TG: im here GG: ok GG: thanks dave! (p.3204)

this was dave’s nice causality-free way of saying “youre going to end up killing me during the jack fight that winds up happening. i cant tell you that im going to die and that youre going to be the one to shoot me, because i know you wouldnt go through with it. that would drag us in a doomed timeline and we’d all die anyway, not just me. youre probably going to be freaked out when it happens since i can’t tell you this, so if you want to talk me about it later, ill be here for you”

which, first of all is, holy shit. he cares about her and her feelings so fucking much. and it’s nothing new

TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? TG: sure TG: i did that TG: because i wanted to TG: and because i was supposed to TT: Are you sure? TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So what about Jade? TG: what TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right? TG: what does that even mean TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion. TG: wtf TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination. TG: aspd TT: Antisocial personality disorder. TG: oh no TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead? TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility. TG: none of this is that big a deal TG: i just mentioned the basics to her TG: that id stop time traveling soon TG: break out of the loops TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody TG: i was never that cool with this (p.3896)

dave got suddenly super fucking defensive about rose making assumptions about how he felt about fighting jack and knowing jade was going to inadvertently kill him, knowing damn well how jade reacts to seeing corpses (remember that time dave threw his slain body out the window so jade wouldnt see it because “it would probably freak her out”), and the fact that he couldn’t warn her to protect the alpha timeline and also protect both of them and everyone from falling into a doomed timeline. and he knew it was coming the whole time. he was right, rose didn’t know what was going through his head. but his defensiveness here means he had strong feelings about it. not only that but dave saying “whats next is up to you, and if later you want to talk about it, im here” shows the amount of trust he has towards her

we see him tell this to grimbark jade straight up his thought process for why he stopped time traveling. and it’s spot on with what i said. again, remember that this is the first conversation he has with jade after 3 years being separated

DAVE: but see with time travel DAVE: all the stuff about learning it so you dont have to use it is true DAVE: theres no good that can come of it DAVE: you can crunch the logic on the loops all you want DAVE: but all youre doing is painting yourself into a corner DAVE: creating inevitabilities you have to rehearse and enact or face death for yourself or everyone you know DAVE: and sometimes facing death is the very inevitability you have to rehearse DAVE: and then you wait and wait knowing its coming and knowing it has to happen DAVE: how do you think it made me feel when we were gathering up all those frogs DAVE: and i knew the whole time in a little while you would have to watch me get shot DAVE: but i couldnt say anything or it would mess it all up DAVE: all cause i thought it would be cool to be marty mcfuckin fly DAVE: but instead of shredding johnny b goode on guitar to get my parents to bang DAVE: my crowning performance was doing a funny dance while getting pumped full of lead JADE: ...... (p.6385)

and what fucking broke me yesterday was realizing after all this time, ironically it was DAVE who wound up being the one who had to talk to jade about it.

JADE: sorry dave, you lost me there after the part where i shot you DAVE: damn DAVE: ok lemme start over (p.6385)

“damn ok lemme start over” bro he really wants to open up to her about this thing he’s been stewing on for three years only for it to fall on deaf mind controlled ears. it’s so fucking sad

part 3 is cooking and it’s going to be about dave’s character growth post-meteor and what that means for dave and jade

[miiilowo]

that post i reblogged has got me thinking actually. about a lot of things but mainly how people treat older kids & teenagers emotions. i remember the second i hit puberty, none of my feelings were taken seriously, or even considered. every single time i was upset about something, it didn't matter if i had reasoning, it didn't matter if it had been bothering me for weeks or months or years, it was written off and blamed on hormonal shifts, and i was told that i should calm down-- Because apparently, if your emotions are heightened due to hormones, whether it be PMS or just Being A Teenager, thats means that they aren't "real feelings" which is completely unreasonable. I remember being scared to bring up anything because I feared it'd just be discarded as 'the teenager being dramatic again', and i was far more scared to tell them that i thought i wasn't being treated like-you know-a human being? That any issue I had would be regarded as unimportant, because even outside of my parents, the general narrative is that teenagers are stupid and overemotional and never know what theyre talking about. And while I'm currently 17 (and will not be in like 2 months) I feel like now that I'm closer to being an adult [whatever that means] im suddenly being taken far more seriously on issues that wouldve been considered laughable like, 3 years ago. and that isnt fair in the slightest. its actually just sort of fucked up. i know im not the only one that thinks this, its absolutely suffocating wanting to express yourself and not being able to because for some reason half the population cant grasp that youre sentient below the age of 18. i dont really have a call to action or something, i just hope that as people my age get older they dont forget what it was like to be ignored and pushed aside b/c all of our actual emotions and thoughts were regarded as being irrational due to our age. i feel like this is especially prevalent for AFAB folks due to periods (and in general due to women being perceived as overemotional and not capable of logic as a result, but thats a whole nother conversation)

[harrypotterfuryroad]

Im still not sure about the predstrogen thing, I've seen many people say there wasnt nsfw selfies on their blog (I have no idea whats true) and they were banned for a set of selfies that were (as ive seen them passed around) obviously just innocent, regular pics, specifically showing their transition before and after. I think staff was unreasonable to go scorched earth on this one person, especially considering it went all the way up to the CEO for fairly benign behavior - their "threat" was basically saying "ugh i hope staff dies in a looney tunes explosion" out of frustration, which isnt a credible threat to me, just blowing smoke. Ppl have been saying theres a conspiracy to mass report transwomen's blogs which i cant tell what is true, they seem to be getting flagged for nsfw content, but that means someone is intentionally reporting their blog - the culprit is "TERFs" of course... I havent seen radfems waste much time with reporting TIM blogs just for coexisting on tumblr, usually ive seen radfem tumblr try and do a reporting campaign for someone sending death threats to radfems, that kind of misconduct you know....but someone must have flagged their blog in the first place somehow. a mysterious and convaluted situation methinks

yeah obv there's a difference between what he said and like, posting a detailed plan about how to make that happen, but bottom line is that it still passed the threshold of a threat and he's not the one responsible for keeping the rules on this site

staff might not have had to go scorched earth on him but he was (and i mean this in the most literal sense and not at all metaphorically or in a victim blaming way) asking for it

but of course this is just gonna feed the narrative that tims on this site are uniquely victimized despite having every corner of the community tiptoeing around their feelings (and despite the fact that they are far from the only people who get randomly or wrongfully terminated)

like, this is how it's getting spun:

like warped beyond recognition to support their story that "transfems" are the first and only people to face this kind of treatment

so everything is about to become way more transphobic pretty soon (in that everything will be labeled as transphobia, not that anything will actually change)

and about harassment campaigns - yeah i've never seen anything close to a "terf" mass report campaign, but i have seen users get targeted by mass reporting for really dumb reasons, i get worse anons than the threat that kicked this off almost every day, and i've seen the radfem tags clogged by coordinated campaigns to make it so they'll never be functional, so i think that's a bit of hit dogs hollering. if your only answer to anything is mass report campaigns, then you'll tell yourself that's what's happening to you when something bad happens. so yeah like you said it's very conspiracy theory

interesting tho when you factor in what he dropped about the "transphobic" mod - we've kept hearing about the secret terf on staff for forever with little to no evidence, and then he just casually drops that yeah they had to fire someone on their mod team for being transphobic. no detail so it's not really much to go off of, and it's not like that really shielded anyone from bizarro mod practices, and i've still never been able to find evidence of the secret terf on staff beyond "someone on the mod team liked a post about hufflepuff traits" but i'm sure they're gonna take that admission and run with it

[nohiketoosmall]

Talking animals and a thing that made me feel weird

-> Watching random youtube videos, found this video by an animal behaviorist/expert. I've actually seen that clearly fake video floating around,this is a good video and so I went to look at other videos

-> Has a handful of videos on "talking dogs" and how they're fake as hell. totally agree. "bunny" the talking dogs videos are extremely staged and edited together

-> Just like koko, which she has another video on. i did watch this but ive listened to the YWA podcast ep on koko so many times I know it by heart

-> Basically animals can replicate some words/sounds but they cant form syntax or put things together in strings like humans. It's just not something they evolved to do. The "studies" people refer to are generally done by the button companies.

-> And then I watch her video on the cat. Immediately different vibe. The owner appears to be trying to teach the cat in the first video this yter looks at. the yter keeps saying "i dont understand whats going on". in the next video the cat presses the button for "mad" (supposedly after the owner didn't come when the cat pressed "come"). the word "*anger*" pops up on screen and this yter goes "the cat is NOT angry, angry cats look like *shows image of hissing cat*" In fact she says "if you showed anyone this without the caption it would just look like a cat"

-> -> as everyone pointed out in the comments the cat had its ears back and was swishing its tail, it was very clearly annoyed. Whether or not you think that correlates with the cat pressing the "mad" button, whether or not you think the owner gathered that from listening to the "mad" or just looking at their cats body language, the cat was mad

-> -> the yter doesn't bother looking at any more videos or saying anything else and completely equates the cat videos with the extremely staged/edited dog videos??

-> In one of her comments she recommends the Jackson Galaxy video on the "talking cat". I like jackson galaxy so im like huh i wonder what hes saying

-> Galaxy basically starts off the video by saying he "doesn't believe cats are full domesticated" or "as domesticated as dogs". Talks about how dogs are different, kind of takes it for granted the idea that dogs can use these buttons to talk (?), and basically says cats don't need the buttons because they have body language (which a mostly agree with*)

-> Now I can't figure out whether I am just mad at those videos because I disagree with their premise or because I disagree with:

That yter completely misreading cat body language

"cats aren't fully domesticated"

Like I totally agree with the premise that a ton of these videos are largely staged and people are anthromorphizing, extrapolating more complex emotions from the button presses. Especially in the case of the more, uh, "existential" videos.

*But, and I don't want to sound like a quack for saying this. I think the reason people can extrapolate so much is because obviously there are certain sounds animals can understand. It makes sense and is reasonable enrichment.

In fact in the comments someone said they taught a cat to press a button when it had a dirty litter box which sounds like a fantastic idea because it sounds like something that a cat couldn't really tell you with body language. Hell, mine tells me by shitting on my bed. My partners family have a dog who rings a bell to go "out" and a button isn't that different. Totally reasonable enrichment, a thing that makes sense.

Idk im so unreasonably peeved at two videos i otherwise agree with i had to come on here and make this long rambly post about it. thanks for listening. other than that, I actually enjoy that youtuber and I usually enjoy what Jackson Galaxy said about cats, except when hes spouting nonsense about cats "not being domesticated" jfc

[sparrowmoss]

okay i have more thoughts im gonna put them under a cut though because people have some very strong opinions about who is at fault after this weeks ep and i want to share my own for my own purposes but i dont want people to try to argue or fight me

this entire thing is sol’s fault. like borderline mental break unhinged moment wack behavior, sol’s fault. it is deeply deeply strange for him to have encountered two child strangers and instantly claim to become as attached as he was showing, acting and reacting very strongly to his perceived claim over osha, a STRANGER and a YOUNG CHILD, yet he could not even fucking tell her apart from mae when he saw one in the coven doorway.

indara should not have had to deal with, on top of trying to make her teenage padawan with normal teenage desires and normal teenage bitterness understand that their assignment was not a personal attack on him and would not last forever and he could eventually go home, her adult peer sol going borderline obsessive nuts over a child who was a stranger. she should have punched his fucking lights out on the ship after all that.

yes the jedi as a group should have been more respectful of the coven and clear with their intentions about making an offer to osha, should not have implied that they had any right to remove her or even test her for force sensitivity (and the whole concept of jedi taking children from their parents due to their force sensitivity is something i have potentially serious issues with depending on how much say the parents have in it and how much pressure the jedi order places on them to relinquish their children, but we haven’t really seen how that works completely clearly, so i give the limited benefit of the doubt for now), and DEFINITELY should have spoken to aniseya and the rest of her coven about mae’s “they’re going to sacrifice themselves” line (which mae misunderstood/misremembered, aniseya had said “sacrifice A PART OF ourselves” not “sacrifice ourselves” but only the audience knows that) to clarify what was actually going on.

like. almost all of the issues in this event were due to everyone assuming the worst of the people on the “opposite side”. and all of those bad faith assumptions spiraled so out of control that basically everyone died. but not sol’s unreasonable and instant attachment.

it just makes me feel so crazy that he was like, oh i feel connected to her, i’m MEANT to teach her, she’s MEANT to be my padawan, in a destiny sense, like immutable fate. and in the heat of the moment he can’t even tell that mae is mae and not osha. he cant even fucking tell them apart!!! the connection he feels is entirely made up by him in his fucking head. either that or whatever part of it is real, he is taking it and running with it and assuming that everything that happens is proof of that connection, so when mae runs out toward him he thinks it must be the one he felt connected to.

i truly have no ideas on what may have led him to instantly connect to her in such a way that he disregarded her wants and needs and safety. in a way that blinded him to the fact that that coven was still her family and still loved her. in a way that made him go for the kill on osha’s own mother for basically no fucking reason, so much so that he immediately clearly wondered “why did i do that?”

and i think indara was right, and sol was right for following her suggestion, when she said he could not go to the council and confess what he had done. to cause all of that for the self stated reason that he felt a connection to osha so strong he just had to do whatever it took, no matter the cost, to get her as his padawan. then end up getting her whole family killed and THEN leave her after that? yes he would have faced punishment that he deserved but SHE would not get the support and help that SHE deserved. i think indara was right to make the decision to hide the truth from the council. i think sol staying by osha’s side and being there for her was in osha’s best interests, as unfortunate as it is. indara couldn’t take her on because she already had a padawan, and maybe kelnacca could have but i think there would have been some nervousness on her part as she likely could not understand anything he said. it basically had to be sol or she would have suffered a lot, on top of losing her family and leaving her home and everything she knew behind to live a completely different life. sol had to lie to keep his position to be there for the person who he had caused great loss. he had to do what he could to make up for it.

and i think his guilt since that day is genuine. i do think that whatever weird intense mental break state he was in, he came out of it. i think his attachment to osha in the present timeline of the bulk of the story comes more from knowing that his actions cost her the lives of her entire family and now he is all she has left. like, the feeling that he owes her, if that makes sense. that since he caused her family’s deaths, he has to do whatever he can to make her happy and fulfilled now. and i think his line to the kids in the temple about not always trusting your eyes, comes from stuff he learned through this mistake with mae and osha.

but i still think its also fucked how little he seemed to care for jecki in this situation. he clearly doesnt feel the same protective need and care toward her as he does toward osha, even though osha left the order. he brought jecki on this mission and dragged her into the mess that he created all those years ago and got her killed and just left her body there. i do not think he would drag osha into a mess he’d created in the same way. and i know he wouldn’t leave her body!

i dont know man like i dont think sol is the most evil guy ever but i think even though he has changed and tried to do a lot to make up for his failings, not all his motivations are good even now. he really seemed to decide to tell mae his side of events for selfish reasons, for alleviation of his own guilt, not for any benefit to her.

we still have one left and i am really curious to see if his motivations are elaborated on further, what mae’s reaction to his side will be, if osha will find out the story as well before the end of the season, etc etc… so much… its hard to make any definitive judgments or assumptions when it isn’t finished. we’ll see.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw- family problems, parental issues,fighting, relationship problems (i think)

seeking- advice, vent

(sorry for any typos) also, can this be tagged as flower anon tyy:)

my whole life my dad has treated my mom terribly i didn’t realize it wasnt normal when i was little, as i’ve gotten older i’ve been realizing how terrible he treats everyone around him especially my mom. my eyes have recently been opening to his true character and i wont go into detail but i feel so guilty that im resenting him cause he can be so nice sometimes but even that is following by something negative. but i dont wanna make this about that cause its about how he treats my mom.

when i was younger they would fight all the time and even still hes always the one to start it. all he does is complain about everything yet does nothing about whatever it is he’s complaining about. he has my mom do his laundry, make his dinner, fold his clothes, make his bed, all of it. by the way my mom has her own job which shes in a lot of pain at the end of the day cause of it and she has to come home to his bs. if she doesnt have his dinner done he freaks out and guilt trips by saying how hes gonna go to bed without eating, when they eat out almost every night so he can easily order food himself or go pick it up. even if he wants her to make home-cooked food for dinner if shes at work, literally doing her job he’ll complain about it and make her feel bad.

he makes her pay rent even tho her hours have got cut so she doesnt make as much any more and he can absolutely afford the whole rent himself. he has literally gone to her job and yelled at her before and now she doesnt want to get another job cause she knows hes gonna go to the boss there and tell him what time she can and cant work.

he polices everything she does if she gets a package he pesters her about whats in it, she leaves the house he pesters her about that. just today she was literally at his parents house (something he never does) and got mad at her for being gone??? its unbelievable. this is all only the icing on the cake. i remember one time me and my mom were going to get something to eat and he yelled at her before we left and when we were in the car she said to me “when you marry, marry someone who will let you be yourself” and it just broke my heart:( she deserves so much better and i just dont know how to help. i want to get a job to help her with money but i have severe social anxiety and also no school or work credits to do so but hopefully once i get my GED ill be able to do something with that. but im no sure what to do. i want to help her so bad but i have no idea how. theres so much more to all of this but im not sure how to tw it 100% correctly so i dont want to say too much, but if there’s any advice you have for this situation it would be really appreciated 🥲 thank you so much for your time!

Hi anon,

It's understandable why you feel guilty for resenting your dad even though sometimes he can be sweet or well-mannered. But it's important to honor why you feel resentment and not necessarily let your dad's good behavior make you feel like you can't be upset about how he has behaved in the past. Sometimes people intentionally behave well to minimize the impact of their bad behavior and make others feel like they have no right to complain. But it's also possible that good behavior is a sign of learning from past mistakes, but even still, it's natural and okay to feel complex emotions about that shift.

It sounds like your dad puts full responsibility on your mom, both productive and reproductive labor, to the point that he acts as if he is completely dependent on your mom fulfilling unreasonable expectations. It makes sense why your mom seems to be constantly driven to a breaking point - because she is carrying the entire weight of the relationship, and more.

It sounds like the best thing for your mom is to get away from your dad, but of course it's not simple or easy. I don't know where she is located but she could potentially consider looking into nearby domestic violence shelters as they can offer a safe place to stay while she comes up with a plan to live independently.

If anyone has any other comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[candiliam328]

✨ Bean's Top Five Song Discoveries of 2023 ✨

yes i realize it is already well into january 2024 but here, enjoy the songs i found this year that define my 2023. if you're new here, hi i used to make obsessive music posts but now dont have time to make full ones so take this instead: your very own unique insight to my 2023!

this post is dedicated to @disco-tea for somehow being invested in all my music adventures and obsessions, bestie ily 🥺💕

STOP (Lollapalooza Version) by j-hope (Eng. translation // Performance w/ Eng. sub)

im totally cheating already by choosing this when i first listened to jitb in 2022. but honestly? i dont care. i saw hobipalooza for the first time in 2023 and this version was only officially released then so here it is now!

to be frank, watching the performance was a completely different experience to me compared to listening to the studio release. while the original recording sounded conversational, it felt like something was exploding out of him during this performance. he needed to get things off his chest and yet still barely stops himself in his tracks from spiralling. and the juxtaposition !! placing it right after Equal Sign, where he is preaching kindness and understanding and unity and even goes so far to say "it costs you nothing to be kind" ?? and then the sudden immediate whiplash into STOP where he is actively holding himself back because its not true! being kind is hard!!! but he wants to be understanding and practice what he preaches but even he fails and gets "contaminated by the viruses" sometimes. its hard, its real, its raw. and ugh !! this song !!!

Bonus: the moment I always start to lose my mind

its the way the alternate title to this song is "there are no bad people in the world," a belief he holds deep to his core. and yet only a few breaths later, he confesses that the reality of the world makes him question if people are even human anymore. 😩 like wtf-

but also. its so true. and relatable. sometimes i cant even look at the news anymore bc its so hard to be a hopeful and positive and good person when you are bombarded with only hate and tragedy. i have never seen that feeling captured so perfectly in a song. jung hoseok you king.

tldr i think about this song, its performance juxtaposition, and what it means way too often. eternally sad that the youtube video with eng subs playing those songs back to back got taken down, i rewatched it so much it haunts me. may we never ever forget hobipalooza bc jung hoseok made Choices !!

-

Don't Wanna Cry by Seventeen (Eng. translation // Performance w/ Eng. sub in captions)

the real ones remember how j-hope took over my life that second half of 2022 and how much i fought tooth and nail the entire way... so yeah lol seventeen took over the second half of 2023 and this is the song that got me out of that denial.

the thing is. i had kept hearing about this song and this choreography and how iconic it was, which is why i avoided it for so long. but as we all know, no matter how much i joke, i am and always will be a dancer. dancing will always be in my blood. so it is very on brand that a good dancer has been what gets me into kpop groups 100% of the time (2 out of 2 groups stanned bc i fell for the main dancer 🫣). and as a choreographer, good choreo will always have an unreasonable chokehold on me. and yet, Don't Wanna Cry has the audacity to exist ?? featuring performance unit leader hoshi with his most masterful choreography for this heartbreaking song ?? come onnn, i had no chance.

i cant say anything about this choreo that hasnt been said before but like seriously, watch this practice video and tell me this choreo isnt one of the most in-sync yet emotionally effective pieces of art you've ever seen. You don't even need the translations to understand the emotions behind it. But when I first saw the lyrics with the choreography, I swear I got chills. Ironically, once DK sang out this line:

my eyes got blurry. because thats the whole point of the song isn't it? thats the whole reason why they dont want to cry. because they realize their time together is limited, their heart is breaking but each second in their presence is so beautiful and precious, how dare tears get in the way of fully appreciating this time together. its beautiful and heartbreaking and then the timing of falling to their knees right after for a chorus just adds into the hopelessness.

And I know everyone talks about the bridge but like- the bridge.

Lying to yourself that everything is OK only to fall on your knees again begging "come back, come back, come back". The rawness in this choreo. The almost uncontrollable chest pops in this vulnerable, open position because these words are coming from their heart.

Also Hoshi still to this day calls this one of his favorite svt choreos. He doesn't brag much about his choreo nowadays but the interviews I could find of him proudly relaying the story behind the iconic "streetlight" choreo just 🥺🥺 me too buddy. choreo can be beautiful sometimes and he did so good with this one. 🥺🥺🥺 choreographer hoshi, king of my heart, thank you for making me fall in love with this song 🥺🙌

-

I'm Just Another Person Oh God by Daisy the Great (lyrics)

Ah, yes. the Daisy the Great phase. I could have picked the whole All You Need is Time album honestly bc the storyline it has in my head is so fucked up I can't handle it. But in the end, it was a toss up between including this one or Aluminum in this list bc those were the ones I had on loop. for. reasons. 🫣

Gosh, what to say about this song. other than admitting, wow was I going through something for this one. Haven't we all felt this way sometimes though? Wanting something so bad and it not working out and then stepping back like. "wait am i being greedy and selfish with this?" and the answer is no! like actually im just being entirely super normal with this. just like everyone else! only i am also filled with some bonus woe! like ?!??!?! wasnt that the biggest 2023 mood? idk it was for me lmao.

There is something to be said with this album though, that is particularly apparent in this song. It's that kind of cynical wistfulness of wanting something you had in the past. Passion? Naivete? Whatever it is. It's gone now bc of life, the passage of time, and you're being like so super brave and normal about it (clenched fist, arthur meme style). Everything is painted with a bit of regret and "why am i always like this", all wrapped up in a funky floaty song that is almost uncomfortably easy to listen and vibe to bc of how concerning those lyrics can be when you really listen. but hey ✌️ it really do be like that sometimes i guess. shoutout to them for the insane 20yearold something vibes bc daisy the great? they get it ahaha.

-

Snow on Tha Bluff by J. Cole (lyrics)

Lol surprise.

if you ever want to know how i find music, a lot of my favorite songs are usually found by chance. a random deep dive fueled by curiosity or hyperfixation and every so often, my spotify will give me a gem. this particular discovery was bc for a variety of reasons, i decided to listen to a playlist of j.cole's music and was bopping along appropriately until this one came up and. i had to replay it multiple times.

its very understated. and raw. stream-of-consciousness.

i dont even know but i listened to this one a lot. even as i write this now, its been months since i listened to it but when i was making this list, i knew i had to include this one bc of how much ive thought about it.

there's something about understated vulnerability that always gets me in. nothing about this is showy nor does it really seem to have a point other than him needing to get this off his chest. yet there's such a poignant art to it. the instance he speaks about is v specific but the sentiment is still relatable and somehow resonated with me a lot.

idk i just think this song is so beautiful in its simplicity, which is something i think i should try to emulate more considering i said a whole lot of nothing in this section so i think ill stop this one here.

-

I Don't Understand But I Luv U by Seventeen (Eng. Lyrics)

if i had to pick a song that defined my december, it would be this one. hands down, no contest. i think i listened to this nonstop the last two weeks of the year. and:

... yeah.

im realizing as i write this post that i spent a lot of this past year just thinking about music and life. seventeen's songs actually tend to be a bit of a slow burn on me so i had known and even heard this song a few times earlier this year but really it only hit me last month. yet despite listening to it nonstop, i cannot recite to you the actual english translation of the song. bc ultimately the translation doesnt matter. what i love about this song is already there in the title.

"I don't understand but I love you"

after all, isnt that love in its truest essense? love is accepting you may never truly understand everything about a person but choosing to love them anyway. love transcends all language and all understanding. its a choice and an action and this is the song that always reminds me of that when love gets hard.

idk what this all says about my 2023 but love is hard. family is hard. but in a way, i think that's what makes it all so beautiful. just as beautiful as this song. i can and will (and have!) listened to this song on repeat bc the ✨vibes✨ i think it might even have been the first song i listened to in 2024. that guitar riff is so sick and sensual. the ad libs are so cute - the little zoom! at 0:46 and smoke smoke! at 2:02, i sing along to it every time 🫣.

also hearing the girlies lose their minds when watching this performance on the big screen during their simulcast concert was so funny but endearing. i'd never but those girls sure love thirst traps skakakka

the story behind this song too just 🥺 hoshi getting absolutely blown by a fan's comment "i dont understand but i love you," repeating it, saying they could use it as part of their lyrics and then a few months later, this song comes out. you can literally see his eyes light up im just 🥺 so endeared. and the way its a Performance Unit song, a unit that is made of 50% foreign members, and that several pre-debut clips show members struggling with language barriers. idk this song is all so soft, it means so much to me and clearly means so much to them. and there we go, its all in the title for me ✨

-

✨ if you made it all the way here, wow and thanks! here's to even more good music in 2024 ✨

[roundaboutnow]

i am so PISSED at my job

for the record, today was a great day. it was an easy shift and i got to train one of the best people ive ever met. genuinely, i had a great morning.

but the POLICIES at this store? god.

i've been here for 3 years and the prices were already unreasonable but i've seen them raise these so much and its disgusting. extra shots of espresso used to be .25 each. now they're 1.10.

we have to charge for milk substitution, like fuck you for being lactose intolerant i guess. we have to charge for water, which is actually free if you pay for something else (apparently it's the fee for the cup). we cant give discounts, we dont take EBT, we cant feed our employees for free (and it's not like ANY company lets you take home expired sandwiches or pastries) we're supposed to pressure people to buy ventis when they just want talls. we cant give you a discount if you bring your own cup and we don't give you free refills on coffee, nope not even if you have your receipt, not unless you drink that sucker within 30 minutes and even then you have to pay 10 cents.

we charge for iced ventis, which makes sense to an extent, because they get extra pumps and an extra shot. but now they expect us to charge more for iced talls and grandes, too? why? it's the same amount of syrup and espresso and milk, and it's not extra for the effort because it's not that hard to make. oh and we checked, unless you ask for light ice youre mostly drinking water. it's just price gauging! they realized they could pretend iced drinks were worth more and make people pay out their ass

my merchandizer says we're losing money so she's enforcing these strict and pricey charging practices, many of them are new, and it's ridiculous. how are we not making a profit if we charge every customer 7 bucks for a latte? what the hell are these corporate fucks spending all that money on and dont you DARE tell me it's inflation

my customers are being cheated and im being used and i cant believe im still putting up with this shit after all this time

[pixeljade]

Okay i've tried like 20 times to word this in a way that'll go as gently as possible but I dont think im gonna be 100% successful bc autism, so im just gonna post this and hope yall dont take it in bad faith:

Theres a lot of younger queers (especially AFAB ones) who still hold TERF ideology and the main reason I see them failing to let it go is because they cant embrace sex positivity.

Which like. I kinda get. I mean if I was AFAB and I grew up with creepy toxic masculine dudes constantly sexualizing me while i was still a child, and the pressures of family to reproduce, and all that shit that comes with being AFAB, i'd probably be scared as shit of sex. Heck I'm a *little* scared of it myself since I was sexually assaulted twice before I was 18! But I feel like thats something to fight against, because like...sex is healthy! Sex is good! Sex is the cause of literally all of our lives!!!!

And I'm not saying you have to have sex or anything, god no, I'm on the ace spectrum. I'm saying you have to be normal about sex, because sex is a part of life! Its ESPECIALLY a part of the queer community! And as much as it should be more welcoming to ace people, I also think demanding it be entirely chaste in order to welcome ace people is stupid and selfish and unhealthy.

"So whats this have to do with TERF ideology though?" Well, reader, I'm glad you asked, because "sex is scary" is the first step in the TERF ideology road! It usually goes "sex is scary" -> "men are scary" -> "anything with a penis is scary". And basically every queer person, at least on the surface, is against this. But under the surface, I find it all falls apart, especially amongst AFAB people. AMAB queers are expected to perform femininity to fit in, and almost always if it is the sort of space where femininity is scrutinized, it is expected that the feminine must also be chaste. I feel like thats no accident. It feels like any mention of sexuality from an AMAB person has them thinking about how we have a penis, such a lewd horrible thing, and then its like...instantly we become less womanly to them. They've let their fear tie femininity to a lack of sexuality, which is a TERF idea!

This also is what leads to more censorship of transfem people. As the recent bannings of transfem people on this site continue, I see a lot of posts saying stuff like "You wouldnt have this problem if youd just stop posting sexual content", even being reblogged by supposed allies.

And you might be thinking "well I'm AFAB but I'm trans, so, this doesnt apply to me. Theyre talking about actual TERFs!" And no, you're wrong. I see transmasc people who pull this shit ALL THE TIME. I recently had a transmasc friend cringe and tell me that the fact that I liked Asumi-chan Is Interested In Lesbian Brothels was a red flag because it was "clearly for the male gaze" which is absolutely TERF behavior. I also see a lot of transmasc people being dismissive of transfem fears in the current trans political situation. Its seemingly almost always a specific brand of UwU cottagecore transmasc that does it too, and a few of them I've even caught admitting they "used to be a TERF" which, I'm glad you no longer associate with them, but I'm telling you you still have shit to unlearn. Dont tell me this is out of my lane, either, its no different from if someone pointed out I still had toxic masculinity to unlearn! Which has happened, and I've examined mine. Why do you find it so unreasonable to examine yours?

Anyways thats all for now. Please do better. I shouldnt have to deal with this shit while the government is trying to kill me.

[sumbreon]

ive now watched dead reckoning absolutely loved it had a lot of fun watching it! this isnt really anything in particluar im just throwing my thoughts down while i still have them (this is going to get very disjointed i just know it)

ethan and another baby imf agent that hes already imprinted on, i feel like theres more to those two with ethan telling him he made the right choice, how involved was ethan in regards to him?? also it immediately killed me the mission brief telling ethan his rogue behaviour will not be tolerated like baby thats ethan, you KNOW hes going rogue! its not an if, its a when and at this point you should fucking trust the man going rogue!!! why dont these fuckers trust him?!?!?! also ethan deciding that the key and its purpose are actually very much his business he is going to find out! fuck you kittridge! and ethan not even for a second considering handing the key to anyone, hes destroying it, nobody gets to control this, because ethans side is the world, and if anyone gets it thats bad for so many more people than its good for. (i also loved the baby imf agent, whos name ive sadly already fuckin forgot, echoing this! but thats later) and kittridge going on saying ilsa was expendable oof i was delighted she was actually still alive shoutout to her and her sexy eyepatch

the airport oho! so sorry to benji but luther is absolutely the superior tech guy i cant lie. him then getting to demonstrate that by guiding both benji and ethan soso good. the airport was so good, the way theyre leading the imf around with the fakeouts and then the reveal that the entity was doing that to ethan too, penning him in, augh loved it (i feel like im going to say i loved a lot of things in this which is true i immediately want to go watch it again!) also them not fucking telling ethan about the bomb and just casually asking him a riddle and being like ‘dont worry its fine its under control’ tbf theyve disarmed nuclear bombs before but still! 

‘he has to be somewhere’ yeah hes behind you up on the roof sprinting at ungodly speeds to get on a plane to italy somehow, i really like the amount of levity in these films it feels a very balanced amount not too much to take you out of it, just enough

and grace the airport and then italy ethan going after her, like me trying to befriend a cat, like cmon please trust me please like me i wanna help! but shes too slippery she keeps getting away but its also too late for her ethan cares about her now. also italy. paris oh fuck yeah i was enthralled by her constantly. im not gonna lie watching her delight in gratuitous destruction was incredibly fucking hot!!! she could destroy me anytime after im done writing this i will be going to look for pictures/gifs of her and i will be looking at them for an unreasonable amount of time. anyway… ethan holding the steering wheel looking like a lost puppy then! benji!! :D and luther! and ilsa! :D ethans got his friends! i did also like the casual intimacy that ethan and ilsa share the reassuring touches they fucking care about each other and i love that its not explicitly stated as ‘anything’ i just love casual intimacy a lot

the party and those fucking lights on the screens i was just waiting for it to be revealed that the entity was ‘there’ watching 

it kills me thinking about ethans whole ‘nobody is expendable, only im expendable’ god i fucking love him and then gabriel and the whole one of these two people you care about dies because of you, because you care :( fucked up man… but i dont necessarily believe ilsa is dead what with the beginning trick and her like the imf being a ‘ghost’ how many times has the world been led to believe ilsa is dead? even with my doubts the scene on the rooftop with ethan being alone was still fucking mean :( and the entity using benjis voice to trick ethan too :( augh… 

and luthers conversation with ethan about gabriel and killing him not being the mission paralleling with ghost protocol and carter!!! ahhh!!!! luther telling ethan he needs to play 5d chess with this fucking thing. grace still not fully grasping how completely out of her depth she is shes been in way over her head from the start and she does not get any time to process any of it, things just keep happening and then being told her lifes over, being given ‘the choice’ but is it really a choice? 

the train, the fucking train, the plan of riding a motorcyle and landing on a moving goddamn train! what the fuck! oh benji… i absolutely did not fucking trust it when benji put the car on autopilot but i very much loved the continuity of the safey first seatbelt on gag also the continuation of benjis unwavering faith in ethans ability to pull off impossible things, guiding ethan up the trail to the top of the fucking mountain, he can figure it out from there its ethan hes got this (after watching these films and knowing tom cruise is doing the stunts i, this man could kill himself for the craft what the actual fuck man)

and back to baby imf agent and he GETS it he like ethan understands what the imf should be for, him saying the key would be too much power and when questioned as to whos side hes on, hes on the worlds, he gets it! and him defending ethan going rogue, ‘maybe he had a good reason’ yeah! maybe he fucking does!! im really looking forward to seeing him and ethan interact

zola my man… the way that he was absolutely clueless… i… (hang the fuck on i went to double check his name and according to the wiki he and alanna are maxs kids?? i knew they were at the thing for maxs death, alanna was hosting that? did i just completely miss the relation fact?)

oh god fucking gabriel and the train engineers and just leaving that man hanging i just :( didnt like that

and then gabriel and ethan on top of the train, ethan playing 5d chess and winning hell yeah, i was genuinely unsure what ethan was going to do in that moment being like ‘remember what luther told you ethan!’ it had to be real it had to be convincing for ethan to win that 

and then fuck the individual carriages going over the edge aaaaaa my apologies to the people either side of me hearing me holding my breath then letting it out with relief repeatedly 

ALSO THE VOICE OVER ABOUT THE CLOSER THEY ARE TO ETHAN THE LESS TIME THEY HAVE AND THAT BEING OVER ETHAN AND BENJI I DONT LIKE THAT

i had a very good time watching this

[omi-papus]

My mom is like ALMOST a Karen. The type thats not crazy enough to be seen online and even when shes being unreasonable shes always been polite, and the only thing shell do is be like “Are you sure theres no discount? And argue when theres nothing to argue about. Like seven thousand times until somebody stops her or she gives up. (Which she CAN do oddly enough, but never when it would make sense.) Woman deadass asked if she could get a discount on a fucking covid test.

And heres the thing. I know for a fact, that where shes from, what she does can work. Small city in a much more lenient latinamerican country than the one were in right now. And you can in fact haggle a lot more over there. But I dont think I can get you guys to understand that I cant quite call her a Karen,

BECAUSE IT ALMOST ALWAYS WORKS!

My mother has bypassed federal laws by just asking for it enough. Like gotten unregistered animals through the airport in plain sight for example.

And Im reflecting on this now because I was at the embassy the other day, and its my first time going in like five years, so my first time going in as an adult. And she made this apointment without telling me, (yhea she sometimes sucks like that) and I told her damn well I wasnt going to get my ass all the way over there when I had class only a few hours later. And I can only use public transport and because of that cant make it to class because the wait for buses can be up to two hours in the worst of days. And she was like “No, Ill drive you there, I need to get my own documents sorted too.” And Im like, “Mother if you think Im going to sit there throught the wait of two apointments Im not going because I could only get to school in time if you drive me there too” and this lady. Says to me,

“No I only booked your apointment, Im going to tell them to sort out my documents as they do yours”

And like thats not how that works. Thats not how any of this works. At all. Shes crazy. A complete and utter Karen.

And the day comes. We get up extra early and go to the embassy. When were there my trun comes and and Im about to talk to the guard and tell him whats up and what I need to do. Then my mom comes up next to me and is like “Oh by the way, I would like to go in with her and get my own papers taken care of” he asks how old I am and I tell him and he tell her “Sorry, we cant let you in shes an adult and shes the one with the apointment” and she does the “are you sure” this twice and then calmly takes a step back. I go in I have my papers, my trun comes again and I go up to the desk and start doing all the stuff (I had only dealt with paperwork a few times and this is the first time I handled something with my passport” and its like

“Ok so Im here fo-“

“Shes here to get her passport, *grabs papers* she has this this and this. Anyway while Im here I would like to get this sorted”

My fucking mother, is just standing next to me taking over the apointment and I am just standing there wondering how she got inside the god damn building. Shes cut the line, and is openly saying “I dont have an apointment, but do this”.

And at the end of all of this.

THEY FUCKING DID IT FOR HER.

I didnt say a word the entire rest of the apointment save for one or two questions, she just up and held the whole conversation, while Im just standing there trying to find the gun she must holding because thats the only explanation I can think of.

And like we just left????? The guard seemed alive and fine and I have not been the same ever since. Any annoyance I had for both being made to do this and then having her take that minor autonomy from me with my own legal proceedings is compleatly overshadowed by the fact that she just broke at least ninteen diferent policies and got away with it. And shes not a good negotiator, in the slightest. She just makes unreasonable demands and people just do it??? They dont even look mad just confused?????

So I cant tell if shes just perfected karenism or shes an actual witch.

[butchered-bovine]

Sorry how am I supposed to know that it's just a "fauxcest" kink?

If you showed that post to any of your IRL acquaintances they would think you were a monster. I've met actual pedophiles IRL who hide their predatory nature behind the "hehe! just a joke! or is it?" demure joke bullshit.

You're fetishizing a painful experience that many afab children have had to go through involuntarily, yet you sob and moan when a ftm says they want to look like you do in a dress. This lacks any kind of internal consistency, except "what makes YOU feel good and what doesn't". If you're going to fetishize little sisters being molested then you have no right to bitch at ftms. Lmfao.

Your supposed to know because i have nsfw content on my blog and on my pinned post I detail the more sensitive kinks im into, including faucest. You could also start by not assuming the worst out of every single trans woman you meet for starters.

No they wouldnt, because my friends are aware of different kinks and would understand whats at play, and also know me and again, dont assume the worst from a post clearly involved in a kink. Also so have I, do you know what makes them pedophiles tho? Actually doing shit to kids. Not TWO ADULTS PARTICIPATING IN KINK!!!! I also didnt even say it was a joke, i told you it was a kink, which it is, and you ignored that to keep calling me a pedophile because I pissed you off.

Oh god. You know transfems experience that shit too right? You know thats not ‘afab’ exclusive right? Ive been through that shit. I know what its like. You dont have to fucking tell me. Im not fetishizing shit. Im participating in a kink with other consenting adults. I could go into how many victims (INCLUDING THE ONLY ONES YOU CARE ABOUT: ONES WHO ARE AFAB) use kinks like these to reclaim a sense of control of autonomy over those past events, but I shouldn’t have to. You don’t have to have had trauma to participate in these kinks. they aren’t fucking harming anyone its fun. Between. Adults. Stop trying tie this to some greater issue like it wasnt a relatively small post that you had to go hunting for to find something to get mad about.

Next: “yet you sob and moan when a ftm says they want to look like you do in a dress” heres the post in question your referencing! My contribution to it at least.

“Sob and moan” so youll see i just said my stomach sank, and then mentioned it later on this post where it was a relavent example. Framing me as if im hysterical, overreacting, and emotional, is just basic day one misogyny. I was describing an experience I had with transmisogyny, with very little emotionallity, yet you chose to act like i was going on and on and crying and shaking about it. Which again is just basic misogyny to try and make me out to be unreasonable and emotional. Secondly, he did not say “I wish I looked like you in a dress” (which even that would be bad. If a man who wants to be masculine said to me, a trans woman “I wish i looked like you” that would be shitty still. But thats not my main point) he said he wished he was perceived like a man wearing a dress like he assumed I was. He didn’t just like how I looked he was jealous of the fact that I don’t pass and implied that I look like a man. This is basic fucking transphobia. To say or imply a trans woman looks like a man is shitty. I shouldn’t have to tell you that. If you cant even acknowledge that what he said was wrong, then just call me a fucking slur and move along dont try and pretend your defending anything.

“This lacks any internal consistency, except ‘what makes YOU feel good and what doesn’t”

Shocking news everyone, I am inconsistent as a person because i like ‘problematic’* kinks, and dont like to be told I look like a man. Everyone get mad, the evil trans woman indulges in kinks on her own blog, with warnings in her pinned post and bio, but dislikes facing transmisogyny, how evil and inconsistent is that!

*kinks arent evil or problematic, thought crimes arent real, stop trying to make every trans woman out to be a pedophile because she likes a kink.

‘If your gonna participate in a kink between yourself and other adults who are into it only, that causes no harm, and has nothing to do with real life, then you have no right to talk about the bigotry you face, and should shut up about the misogyny and transmisogyny you’ve experienced from men in your life!’

As a fun little thought experiment let’s address: even if everything else you said was true, how would that in any way make my post or anything I’ve said about transmisogyny untrue? Like, at all? Answer: it wouldn’t! You just hate when trans women hold trans masc folks accountable.

Last thing just because youve pissed me off lets go step by step through your thought process between these asks, shall we?

First you see a post of mine, talking about an experience Ive had with transmisogyny. This makes you mad. How dare I talk about a real life experience of mine and say it made me feel a bit sad after? So you immediately send me an ask, you want a way to invalidate my point (because theres no way to invalidate any of the words i said cuz they where true) so you make the assumption, maybe cuz my blog has cow theming, that i ‘degrade myself’ and say that cuz i do that i should shut the fuck up about when transmascs (or ftms in your words) try to actually degrade and insult me. Then I tell you how fucking stupid that is, how your assumptions are wrong and your point would make no sense even if you had assumed correctly. This makes you more mad at me. How dare I talk back to you and stand up for myself, I should know to accept my place, and let myself be talked down to. So you scrolled my blog a while, looking for something else you villainize me for. Something you can use to make me as a trans woman out to be evil so you can feel good about yourself. (You’ve already forgotten that this is entirely unrelated to your original ask and point). Eventually you find a post about incest, and cnc. Not even explicitly ageplay. You ignore the fact that incest and cnc are incredibly common kinks, and that the post was made by an adult and that i am an adult because now you can bring that post to me and imply I’m a pedophile. You do that immediately because the classic argument “this trans woman is a pedophile because she has the EVIL kinks” is a classic that is totally logically sound. I then tell you why that is dumb as hell. You then, once again pissed that id dare disagree with you and stand up for myself, double down on every single goddamn thing. Sure you didn’t read my bio or pinned post, but that doesn’t matter you had no way of knowing it was a kink post. Sure the original post exclusively only said little sis, nothing about age or anything, but you’ll assume and jump to calling me a pedophile excplicitly anyway. Sure you’ll pretend I had a completely different defense than I did, because you’ve already assumed and assured yourself I am a pedophile, so who cares about the thing I actually said. Sure it has no correlation, but you’ll bring up bioessentialism, ignore thats trans women have similar experiences, and try and pretend that adults participating in kink is somehow the same as real SA and pedophilia. Sure I wasn’t, but then youll pretend that I was once again hysterical and yelling and bitching at transmascs, and not that I reblogged a post by another transfem, with a personal experience that was related, not once including or directing it at any specific transmascs.

I will not be responding to any more asks you send. You hate trans fems and wish we would shut up about the shit we face. You hate trans fems and think we are all secretly evil predators. You are straight up misogynistic, transphobic, and transmisogynistic.