#but i cant see myself being romantically involved with one

[gutxpupz]

I guess I'm bisexual

[suffarustuffaru]

Genuine question do you think there's a chance that Julius could be into Subaru? Because I only really hear about Subaru being into Julius when it comes to Juilsuba

(no arc 5+ spoilers in this post)

short answer: yes, i think there’s a chance. a pretty good chance. but whether you want to interpret julius as being Romantically into subaru is up to you. however theres no denying that subaru is special to julius and that julius Loves this guy.

long answer: so i will give the following disclaimer to this, which is that i can only really speak for my own interpretations of the text. for this ask i talked a bit with a few different mutuals about this (bc while i really enjoy julius and julisuba A Lot i wouldnt consider myself an Expert so—peer reviewing it is :3) but—yes im speaking for my opinions here, so in general i recommend looking over the text/media yourself to see what you think too 👍👍

and i think in general like. i wish we saw more subaru ships from the non-subaru lens of it!! :o speaking as someone whos made shippy content from both subarus pov and the other pov, while im not perfect with it either, i just think that it’s always important to get that other pov. and sometimes its kind of a forgotten part !! :< i just think its interesting 1. seeing someone fall in love from subaru, 2. getting that outside pov of subaru, and 3. it makes the dynamic truly equal to focus on the other side of it too 👍 i dont have a lot of julisuba content atm (this will change eventually) but in the past ive rambled a bit about julius’s side of julisuba in one of my….. bdsm……………… posts :3 but anyway ill summarize what i think is going on with julius’s side here:

for julius, his prim and proper knightly persona is pretty like. i get the vibe that hes really Cultivated himself into this over time, especially bc he wasnt involved with nobility until his parents died and his uncle took him in and joshua started trying to shape julius too into what he is now. julius used to be a bit of delinquent (dont know How delinquent he was exactly but just that he was) and of course theres a big switch into julius learning noble and knightly ways and norms, julius trying to keep that armor around his heart, according to subaru. it’s learned behavior and now he struggles a little taking it off. being a knight is entrenched into julius’s familial and personal values, and julius Always strives for perfection. julius seems so put together that we kinda forget he too has his flaws but similar to subaru, he can be a bit pushy, a bit oblivious, a bit reckless. looking at the world in slight rose colored tint. pushing for More. accidentally stepping over others, maybe, but striving for strength in their own ways. Greedy. they’re kindred spirits in that way.

on the flipside of that, subaru inspires imperfection out of julius. repeatedly. subaru inspires julius to get that part of him from his childhood where he was this earnest overzealous passionate little kid and let it out again instead of being prim and proper 24/7. “juli”.

julius steps in to save subaru during arc 3 also bc julius sees himself in subaru—a passionate kid who fumbles in every single direction but that heart is there, and subaru is a walking whirlwind bc unlike julius, he can’t slap a prim and proper persona over it. he wears everything on his sleeve. he’s misguided, in the wrong, but still. his Heart is a tempting sight, and it hits julius a little personally. subaru was a mirror of julius, the part of julius that julius tried to hide a little all while subaru Offends the knights and says shit like how the knights cling to their father’s names (when julius almost kinda does cling to his family name and his knightly ideals to make himself into something Bigger and Grander), but of course julius has Morals and cant let subaru get hurt to the other knights. and sacrifices his reputation in the process—

(these are from the Arc 3 interlude that shows Julius’s side of the duel aftermath)

“did you find his tarnishing of your knightly pride unforgivable to that extent”…… and of course julius readily accepting punishment 👀👀

“the very symbol of his pride as a knight”…. yeah that duel meant several things to julius, and it sets up the entirety of julisuba from here on out. julius treasures idealism—

(hooray juliemisuba crumbs!!) but… julius noting how this duel wasn’t enough to break subarus spirit 👀👀 “It would not be such a bad thing to trade swords with a fool full of idealism once more.” “As for an annoyance… perhaps he was that, a little bit.” fucking hilarious but also so true—bc julius himself is Also a fool full of idealism. naturally, he takes a liking to subaru quickly which then leads to him declaring subaru his friend in later arc 3 <3

“It is truly in Lady Emilia’s nature to cause pain in others…. That very nature is what allows her to live as nobly and beautifully as she does. I do not deign to wish her to change. Thus, all I can do is hope that she lives more righteously, more genuinely, without anything to be ashamed of.” / “Does that go for the boy, too?” / “It goes for everyone…. It is for that very reason I wield a sword.”

It goes for everyone, julius says. these are values he treasures most in himself and in others, and once he sees it in others, he finds himself drawn to them. (though def interesting how julius doesnt 100% answer ferris’s next question on subaru straightforwardly…) julius comments on emilia here, but its also like. why does julius, the upstanding picture of a knight, follow anastasia, a cutthroat business woman? (other than her being the absolute coolest and the ana camp being a whole family <3)

its bc of greed and ambition. the strive for something greater, to dedicate your life to your passions and devotions. theres a whole ss about how julius is told by ana that she wants the best knight possible and bc of his own insecurity assumes she Must mean reinhard—but no. julius is the finest knight for a reason—bc he painstakingly shapes himself to be that way. of course he sees a similar sort of trait in subaru, how subaru shapes himself to be something greater too, and julius finds himself a littleeee starry eyed. perhaps. pun intended.

anyway. this is my long winded way of saying—yeah, julius is drawn to subaru for a lot of reasons. julius quickly finds himself attached to subaru in arc 3, and subaru coaxes out julius’s imperfection while encouraging julius’s passions.

as far as i know (of course feel free to add onto this if im missing stuff), there isnt anything in canon that reads as particularly homoerotic about subaru from julius’s pov. at least not to the same level as subaru repeatedly checking out julius’s body and saying julius is oh so handsome LMFAO. (though julius’s rainbow spirits are super cool.) so i cant definitively go “julius is 100% romantically into subaru”. especially as im asexual myself so personally romance is fun to me but not always a requirement for every ship’s depiction (or at the very least i Love exploring ships having different dynamics across different iterations of them)—so this is more so me going “theyre so intimate with each other in their own ways !!! i love viewing them from multiple angles !!!” <3 but their friendship and what they have in canon is extremely good foundation for romance. and julius likes subaru a Lot!! theyve gone through quite a bit together and theres More to come !!

[roe-and-memory]

❤️💛💚💙

❤ - unpopular opinion about the movies

honest to god. i think lightning was completely valid in how he acted in cars 2 😭 AND I HAVE A REASONING. HEAR ME OUT.

first of all, im personally not a huge fan of this movie. i think all of it is extremely out of character (for every character involved), but i have a specific spot in my heart for lightning in this film because really, i understand where hes coming from. if you went to a foreign country with your best friend, and instead of being respectful, they acted like a total douche the entire time - as well as screwing you up during the event THEY SIGNED YOU UP FOR (with knowledge that mater could have simply turned off his headset instead of ignoring lightnings multiple requests to clear the line) i would be angry too! and i think that the moral of the story being “act like youre at home Everywhere” is such a harmful thing to tell people 😭

also strongly dislike how mater pushed a romantic relationship onto holley, who is quite literally decades younger than he is and was very Not into it ..

💛 - unpopular opinion about a main character

i think that the concept of cruz’s grandfather being a race fan should have stayed in. this probably isnt unpopular, but genuinely it would have made her as a character so much less.. flat.. it would have given her REASON to wanna be a racer - to make her grandfather proud. giving her a reason would have been much better than the just Out of Nowhere fight, and in that concept lightning and her make up right then and there (plus, instead of him being an ass and debating whether he was right or not like he did in the movie, his anger in the concept comes from a place of just.. genuine stress, adrenaline, and probably being overwhelmed in the moment.)

💚 - unpopular opinion about a side/background character

i dont really understand the hype around the wgp racers? like this isnt a jab at anyone but i just cannot grasp it 😭 my ooh ooh ah ah brain cant understand enjoying characters with no lines or screen time. i applaud the people who do love them though i cannot fault u for having silly little guy brainrot

although one of my favs is a bg character with like 3 lines 😭 cal my son i adore you

💙 - unpopular opinion about a ship/ships in general

i have a list of all the ones i dislike…. i am not a multishipper i am #salqueen4life … please dont get mad at me…

cruz/jackson - cannot stand this ship because that is a lesbian and a sexist, asshole man 😭

lightning/jackson - i hate this ship with a passion i am so . so sorry. first of all, there is a Major age gap? jackson is a rookie (although not as young as mcqueen was, still pretty young - in my head hes about 21?) and second. enemies to lovers fills me with rage it is not my cup of tea. since it says keep it civil i Will but…… augh

and. i am so very sorry. lightning/chick. - this is due to personal lore research, lightning being eighteen in cars 1 (and chicks being about 40+) really, really throws me off? and im not accusing anyone of anything because again, everyone has different lore ideas, but i personally dislike it because 18/40 is Odd to me in my personal cars human au 😭 . also again, enemies to lovers has gotta be one of my least favourite ship tropes.

this isnt one i hate but seriously francesco/lightning shippers are the funniest people in the world i love u guys. i dont ship it myself, but every time i see people talking about them being together all i can think of is the scene in the end of talladega nights where ricky kisses jean and when jean goes in for a second one ricky is like no.. no one was enough..

[th3-r4t-k1ng]

Mike Wheeler Power AU

this has been on my mind for a while; i might try and write it myself-

Mike Wheeler who cant die, Mike Wheeler who can see and talk and interact with ghosts.

(Think like Klaus from the umbrella academy.)

Mike Wheeler who is #13 from Hawkins lab but never showed any powers outwardly so the lab gets rid of him via adoption, they figure he's too young to remember anything from the lab anyway, and if he's living in Hawkins they can monitor him just in case powers do pop up.

Except no powers pop up and at 13 they figure 'He's a normal kid with a very active imagination and no powers' and so they drop the surveillance and focus on El (self explanatory), and Will once back from the upside down and has more promise power wise the Mike ever did in their eyes.

Mike grows up adopted by the Wheelers who thought Karen, who was having fertility problems, wouldn't ever be able to give them a second child like they wanted (Holly was their miracle baby after Mike) They 'Love' him, provide for him, try to connect with him; but its hard; He's hard to connect with.

Mike has an 'overactive imagination' and new imaginary friends pop up each week, The Wheelers think he's being rude when he tells them his newest imaginary friend is a older man named Mr. Charlie; Karen tells him to stop making fun of their old neighbour's death. Mike was never aware he passed.

Mike always seems to know things he shouldn't, like how the late Mrs. Johnson had a drug problem or that Miss Read had passed away in her sleep before the general populace knew she was dead.

Ted tells Karen something is wrong with Mike; that maybe they were wrong to adopt. When Mike brings up his dead grandmother who Karen never talks about she agrees, They take him to a exorcist, they take him to church regularly and slowly Mike gets 'fixed'

Mike is 13 when he first figures out something about him isnt quite right.

When he jumps from the quarry El can't catch him and he falls. He finds himself in a barren white space with a tall women who takes him in her arms and promises everything will be alright. He wakes up on edge of the quarry, El and Dustin looming over him, Dustin crying and yelling and El giving him a look he cant quite decipher.

El 'saved' him, at least thats what Dustin thinks; in reality El brought what should have been his corpse back atop the quarry, and she is very confused as to how Mike survived.

El still disappears, and Mike is left alone with no one to help him figure out what's going on. He cant ask his parents, he doesn't trust or know how to contact Owens so he acts normal and focuses on Will. The quarry death incident is pushed to the back of his mind once he realizes something is wrong with Will and from there things progress like canon until he finds El with Hopper.

Mike still breaks down and gets mad at Hopper, then he's reunited with El.

(in my mind El and Mike don't really get involved romantically, when he's with her he's more focused on trying to figure out how the fuck he didn't die and who the lady in white space is.)

(I suppose you could imagine this with whatever romantic pairing for Mike you want, I prefer Byler; however you can imagine mileven if you want, you do you)

S2&3 progress similar to canon; Max & Billy show up, however Mike still plays D&D with Will and doesn't brush if off like he did in the show, its a good distraction from everything else.

Then things start going sideways with the mindflayer, Mike gets overwhelmed with how many people are being possessed; the mindflayer basically pushes the soul out of its body and suddenly Mike is seeing tons of souls that shouldn't be souls, He realizes something is really wrong when he sees double of Will & Billy (possessed body and wandering soul)

Mike can't really talk to the souls of the mindflayers victims till they die, thats kinda of when he realizes that the people he sees are ghosts.

Will & El move, Mike sends letters to El about his maybe powers, he doesn't send letters to Will trying to call daily instead, Joyces job holds up the line, he wont send letters to Will though, focused on trying to figure himself out, and he can never figure out how to write letters to Will well, they always end up too intimate (insert lettergate here lol)

Will & Mikes family assume he's dating El, He still joins hellfire and still plans to go to california. Max still pulls away, deals with Vecnas curse, Lucas & her are still broken up, Chrissy still dies in Eddies trailer starting the manhunt and Vecna arc.

However Vecna targets Mike first; noesbleeds, hallucinations, the whole nine yards. Mike flouts, his bones break and he dies.

Instead of the tall woman in whitespace Mike ends up having a flashback to the lab; he sees himself with El and 01 and the other numbers; #13 tattooed on pale white skin. He sees his adoption after the scientists determined he had no powers. He sees one of them burn the tattoo off him before he's adopted by the Wheelers.

He wakes up in a pool of his own blood knowing more about himself then he ever has, he understands himself better now.

Then he gets shipped off to California.

(This is a rough draft, this has also been eating away at my brain for the past few days. I will be writing more, and refining it. If you wanna use this to write something please do, then tag me, i wanna read it. Also expect more little bits from this AU. I have gotten very attached)

Theres a second part now

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

hi again, I’m the anon who asked if I can ramble.

first off I just want to say thank you, you are very kind to each person who’s in your inbox and you are so incredibly smart. I wish you all the best in the upcoming year.

so, I have this problem - I get infatuated my men very quickly, even if I see them just one time and don’t talk to them. I’ve been in radical feminism for over 2 years now and thankfully, this problem has become less of a headache for me now. I’m very thankful to radfem for it. but still, just when I think I’m finally free from my obsession with guys, it starts again, every half a year or so. In summer I was obsessing with this one barista, I even initiated a conversation with him and asked for his number. I was very conflicted, because with a sober head I understood, that I don’t even like him. but it as a time when my dog died, I was highly apathetic and emotional. and I just kept fantasising about him.

and this is the core of the problem for me, I just keep imagining various romantic scenarios with guys. it started when I was an early teen. and the thing is, I don’t want to think about all that. I can’t seem to stop. it feels out of my control, it exhausts and haunts me, because who am I if I can’t even control my own thoughts ?? I don’t want to be romantically involved with these guys, but my brain seems to demand me I get infatuated with them.

and I’m getting reminded of that again, because there is again this one guy. also, so I don’t forget to mention. most of the time, the guys I’m getting obsessed over are ugly. like, literally. I’m seeing it with my sober head. but when I enter this state I don’t seem to notice it. I understand it’s because it feels safer this way, “crushing” on a guy who’s uglier.

I also understand partially where’s the root of a problem hides. I had an abusive and neglectful father. plus societal expectations. plus all of these romance movies and tropes, which most girls consume from an early stage of childhood. but I also had an abusive mother. and I don’t get this sort of thing with women. (Im bisexual). around a month ago I was questioning my bisexuality very hard, since I get so little crushes on women. but then I feel hard for one. It felt so freeing. finally getting real butterflies because of a real feeling towards a woman. not I man whom I imagined in my head. the thing is, I can’t even say I’m crushing hard on men. It doesn’t seem like a crush, it seems like an obsession.

I can’t even talk about it with my friends, since it seems batshit insane. but for these couple of days I had almost non stop intrusive romantic thoughts and imaginary scenarios with this one guy. and Jesus Christ, I’ve seen him for the second time yesterday, and I felt nothing towards him. but when I got home, the thoughts resumed. so much so that I didn’t know where to put myself. I even searched up his socials and thought of various plans of getting to talk to him more. but I don’t want to!!!! what the actual hell. I really don’t know how to stop it. these thoughts really plague my mind and scares me very much.

thank you again if you read all of that. you are a wonderful person.

hello, are you me?! it has gotten a bit better with age but i still get these weird obsessions (obsessions, not crushes as you fittingly put it) and start daydreaming about them meeting my parents and us marrying (i want neither of these things?!). im bisexual too and its more with men than women, i think for similar reasons as you, neglectful parents and being raised by the tv which promotes these (hetero) romantic ideas. the daydreaming doesnt bother me that much but i hate that i have issues acting normal around those people and also focus on my looks more. does it also lead to bad decisions? because if it doesnt i wouldnt worry too much about it. daydreaming can be comfort. looking up someones socials or asking for a number is also not that bad albeit i deeply understand it starts to get to you when you cant turn it off and it feels almost compulsory (had this too, i have concocted and partly realised some weird shenanigans to get closer to my obsession). since i really relate to this i can imagine you like me have made dumb and regretful decisions because of this in the past as you already sketched out.

how old are you? because for me it has definitely gotten better with age and also with dating more. i always felt like i was „behind“ my peers when it comes to being romantically involved with people and the older i got the less worried i was. radical feminism helped a lot too to see that this doesnt make me any less valuable. sorry im talking a lot about myself here but i just relate a lot! overall i dont think the obsessions are much to worry about but with everything you have shared i would say there are probably some deeper issues you have to work through (no shade the same applies to me). have you ever been in therapy or considered going? that might be a good start. and honestly talk to your friends about it. its not that weird! i have a friend who rejoices in my obsession stories and it has helped me feel better about it.

i hope this was any help to you, youre more than welcome to drop into my inbox again or send me a direct message!

[aaal-iz-well]

Guyssss...

Okay, babe, deep breath.

Done?

Good.

Let's roll

WTF is happening? I swear to god a month ago I was checking this hashtag for updates like my life depended on it, and I had great plans for my wip's and everyone was making predictions about what the vault might contain.

Then I tell myself to start making some headway with my studies because exams are breathing down my neck and I (somehow) manage to keep away from this fandom that has been my life and blood for so long. AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE!!

Now we know that there are THREE books related to this fandom coming out this year and we might get Toby and Hannah and I'm so excited!

But there are two characters who have my undivided attention atm and I want to talk about them!

So now we have all the main characters, I'm so thrilled that Rohan is one of them because his story is so intriguing to me and it also adds to some much needed Indian or Pakistani (though most prob Indian) representation.

Just think about the kind of background he must have come from, let that blow your mind!

I know that he is going to have a real tragic backstory. Think something involving childhood abandonment or abuse or (most probably) separation from his loving family, coming to London, being faced with the HUGE cultural shock and the nail biting cold and relentless rain. Add to this: making sense of the weird accent. Being picked off the street to do some odd work for the Devil's Mercy. Slowly getting to know it's secrets and rising among its ranks till he reached Factotum. Falling for Zella (first love, maybe?), having his heart broken.

AND THEN HAVING HIS TITLE STRIPPED AT THE END!

CAN YOU FEEL THE BAD BLOOD ENERGY RISING?

'cause baby now we got bad blood...

I also believe that often things are not so one dimensional and that Zella is nothing short of deserving the position. She has undeniably had her struggles with gaining the power she now holds and being a woman of colour in a royal household. But I'm focusing of Rohan here, maybe I'll make a detailed post about Zella sometime later?

These are all only theories, but I can't help thinking that it's going to be something along these lines.

And then there's the fact that Jameson is not going to be a main character (*crying emoji cause I cant seem to insert one of the proper size*) Like he has so many unfinished threads and so much family drama to sort out.

We never got to see an independent confrontation of Ian over how he used Jameson to get what he wanted, or anything about the Prague mystery!!

And I know this might be a bit controversial with some of you, but I really want to see him and Avery fight. Because ofc they are a power couple and express their love to each other in such creative ways. BUT, but you get to know so much about a character when you see their world shifting, when the one thing that they believed to be an anchor is uprooted. How they act when the other is out of orbit. AND WE SIMPLY HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FOR JAMESON. I also might be holding out for a very hot romantic make up later on, but my point stands.

So there's my little (rather late) bit, but still.

Also to those who have read my work and have been so kind to shower me with kudos and comments, I want to apologise profusely. There is a lot to come, but just not at this moment when exams are leeching the life out of me, and trust me when I say I have the most elaborate plans for the future!

Like always, can't wait to hear all your brilliant thoughts. Have a good day/night (depending on whatever time zone you guys are in)

Also please check out Lockwood and Co if you have the time because it's something that I can't stop thinking about and would love to talk about. As an added bonus, one of the mc is kinda like Jameson (and that's how you know I have a type)

[cerealmonster15]

picking up where we left off with twst[oc] sims and the terrors they commit

he's still very upset. i also only managed to get kalim to feel jealous again w/romantic interactions but not yet the physical and woohoo so we'll see if i commit to them all or just leave it as is. i think the next step is to have either ruggie or kalim catch dañarte w/the other and see if it triggers anything for real this time

...ok he just kinda walked past them and didnt give a shit lol... also even tho ruggie said he was gonna dump char and then their relationship went mega red from getting caught cheating, he technically never did and theyre still partners lol... toxic yaoi..

okay. sure. whatever. anyway none of this was working so i called in the big guns, which was inviting over his THIRD romantic interest

and doing a flirty interaction with vil upset BOTH kalim and ruggie - idk why they werent upset w/each other's interactions lol, maybe bc danarte is partner status w/both of them but not vil? anyway that was one interaction giving me 2/10 get caught cheatings i needed

the drama of it all,,, ruggie immediately went outside, vil looks a little too pleased, kalim is shocked, dan doesnt care hes on his phone lol 😭

ik i just keep posting the same scene but this is just so awkward kfldhskgl kalim and vil are just. smiling at each other. ruggie came back inside and is i guess trying to hype himself up. mister danny needs to be an ex to 5 people so i guess now's a great time to dump kalim and ruggie lol sorry boys 😭

this is so sad but also vil just kind of Sitting There during it all is really funny 😭😭😭 i realize they probably have a good bond bc vil and him both have the snob trait and he has a positive moodlet for being around a fellow snob lol

anyway the deed is done. 2/5 exes. i guess vil is the next target since theyre already romantically involved

HUH????? i thought i had him get w/rook... either i didnt actually do that and they just have a full romance bar w/o being partners, or story progression broke them up...

WAIT I DEF DID WHAT HAPPENED OMG. hang on we are pausing this villain era i have to swap households and see what's going on over there

huh???? they still have full bars but are not listed as partners WHAT HAPPENED HERE... well whatever i guess. sorry dan guess u cant break them up technically lol but he can still date and dump vil 😔

which... they got right along onto the second i had dañarte do first kiss with vil lol i did not have them do the relationship... godspeed one step ahead of me i guess

i needed to humble him a little so i had him try to give cay a rose [im having cay build a friendship w/char and cater called and asked to come over right after i sent vil home] but cater still doesnt like him so he was kinda just like 😔 no thx youre cringe LOL

anyway he wanted a drink so i sent him out to find some people,, jamil and azul are here... sebek also walked thru the door shortly after and i already have the option to have dañarte tell him to dump either azul or sebek if i want while theyre RIGHT THERE.... jksdhfsdk god... hes also able to tell jamil to be jealous again despite the fact that theyre not dating [yet] but he only just met azul so he cant say the same.... ugh idk lol im making a mess for myself on purpose to have to deal with later lol 😭

im making him late for work for this lol 😭azul you are spared for now but jamil might (???) get mad if you flirt with your other boyfriend. unless sims decides not to care idk lol

FUCK sorry sebek. i'm so sorry. i never got that follow up w/ruggie re: char so i guess he just never went thru with it.

therye even still partners. actually idk why ruggies the one w/the grudge when hes the one that was doing the cheating 😭 ruggie im so sorry my sims game is kind of defaming you right now it's not your fault u were kind of set up to fail when you got involved w/them lol jkfhsfk.. maybe ill see if they can work shit out or be platonic pals ,,, they have like no green frienship and a ton of red anti romance rn tho so dshkgfkj godspeed char

THAT'S. NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO???? SDJFLKSDGKLJ I said check in on ruggie but in the seconds it told me to click it i guess char had OTHER PLANS!! crazy that this seemed to go over fine but the other attempt of platonic conversation are Struggling lol. these two....

man cmon sklhsdhfglh

WE'RE MAKING IT WORSE CHAR IT'S TIME TO GO HOME!!!

he has a want to discuss his relationship fears w/ruggie but like,,, i fear perhaps that ship has Sailed...

at least neige and jamil are friends!!!!!!!

FSDJKLFJDSKLGH sorry jamil literally anyone else i wouldve been like YEAH DO IT but you called the wrong bitch for advice.

THATS SO SAD

anyway bitch boy went to work so now it's char's turn

it's time to set him and ruggie free 😔

...i guess he just keeps doing this as a greeting bc i think this and the other kiss were not actions lol and mabye it's bc he still has the smitten sentiment. he even got flirty just by being near ruggie. char blease you are being a hopeless romantic in a relationship that has gone up in FLAMES

well. uh. the deed is done i guess. hi jack 😭

i missed the screeshot but azul arrived on a broom - and by that i mean he crashed onto the ground. true to life. hes lucky it's just char home rn lol

bitch boy wants war...

kalim walked into the gym all sad but he still gave dañarte a tip for his guitar playing lol

anyway jamil's here too and i had them start flirting

they had a very glitched hug lol

but then silver walked into the convo, also feeling flirty, so that of course threw off their romance path

i hit image limit bc im excessive. brb.

[inevitablestars]

hehehehehehehhe <— me cackling evilly while rubbing my hands together

sirius pls for the ask game<3

oh so you want me to yap

How I feel about this character

.... say it with me: INSANE ABOUT SIRIUS. have been thinking about sirius since i was a small child and i just never stopped??? attached myself to him like a stray dog and i cant let go. very very very normal as you can see. ill be thinking about sirius for the rest of my life i fear. sirius is just so complex and i want to root around in his head for hours. i could find something new every time i do. also no matter what fic i am writing i am inside of sirius' head it might not be his pov but i am in there and know how he would react to everything.

and like. there's so much there!!! his family the prank the marauders harry azkaban like the possibilities are endless. and because of all of the previous pieces (and more) or any combination of them like thats one fucked up little guy and it only makes me love sirius more

they are in my pocket and will be there for the rest of time

All the people I ship romantically with this character

the obvious, remus. can't go wrong there. put them in any situation and it will work. literally any.

and heres the thing, i don't actively read or seek out any other sirius ships but like... now that im being asked.... i could be convinced of others. give me a good and compelling story and i could be interested. some that fit in this category are: james, lily, wolfstarbucks, peter, kingsley, marlene. have i read most of those? no i have not, but if someone im friends with wrote any of them yeah id give it a shot. nothing replaces wolfstar tho nothing can

My non-romantic OTP for this character

regulus. i think thats obvious (<- guy who has never shut up about the black brothers) whether they are close and have a good relationship or havent spoken in a decade im gonna love it. they love each other more than anything else and soemtimes that drives them apart but sometimes it doesnt and god i will explode if i think about them for too logn it causes me phsyical pain

also the rest of the black family. in order of how insane they make me after regulus: bellatrix (she literally killed him what do you want me to say), andromeda, narcissa, walburga, everyone else

outside of the family though, james and lily. easy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

sirius can do no wrong. idc!!!!!!!!! hes never done a single thing wrong in his life. like yeah hes stupid sometiems but thats my stupid guy :( hes trying his best hes fucked up and has been since he was born its not his fault

also just like why is there discourse about his appearance. i dont see characters in my head but like idc if hes tall or not or if theyre whatever gender. sirius is hot and also a little guy.

also also he's smart. really fucking smart. he just doesnt always care so it comes off like hes not. and like he wants it to seem like hes cool and has his shit together but he is losing his mind all the time

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

that he and regulus got to reunite :( or that he didn't die. that would be lovely. or if you know his name was cleared and he got to actually take harry in like he wanted to that would be so so cool for everyone involved

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

followup fun facts about together, to that promised aquarium

this is gonna be just kinda a disorganized post of random things so uh. dont mind that.

the event title is actually a double reference ^^ its both a callback to 1dt with 1c promising to find time to do things as friends despite getting busier (even if theres no ichika this time), and also a reference to harusakis first kizuna!

colopale you still havent given us that aquarium they said theyd go to. theres a reason i had to do it myself. the fact that theres not an aquarium event in general is a crime tbh i know theres some romantic connotations with a pair going to an aquarium but theres very easy solutions to avoiding that? sending a group of 3+ characters together, having them run into other characters while there, inviting someone else along (even if they cant go, it helps make it feel more like a friend thing i think). i did a bit of the latter two, as you mightve noticed! in general though its just SUCH an obviously fun event theme i cant beleive we havent had one yet

while i am a known harusaki shipper, i kept the story pretty light on the stuff that could be read as explicitly shippy, since when im trying to make fake events, i like to think about how itd work in canon, which means keeping it low on explicit ship content. plenty of stuff that could be taken as ship food (as id like it to be!) but nothing that would alienate non shippers from enjoying the story too.

i actually didnt write shizukasas presence as intended for ship content at all though, but im definitely okay with people taking it that way lol they can be on a date too if you want them to be. my plan with them was simply theyre childhood friends too but dont get to spend time together that often anymore -> their schedules line up with a free day and tsukasa heard about the aquarium from saki, decides to invite shizuku to go there with him as a part of hanging out together -> surprise encounter with harusaki!

also both of them were scoring quite high on the form when i decided to lock in the lineup (tsukasa was absolutely sweeping the 2* category, and while shizuku wasnt winning anything, she was a pretty popular choice) and theyre very easy to work into a story together and also into a story that is focused on harusaki (╯▽╰ ) the benefits of siblings and unitmates

(tsukasa 2* poll sweep at the time of me solidifying my lineup)

the event and gacha names actually both came to me one night while i was about to fall asleep. struck by inspiration so strong i had to grab my phone and write them down in my notes app. and they actually worked very well! also heres the transparents of the logos if you want them i guess

the card/skill/costume names also mostly came to me in similar ways, in the last couple nights before i finished everything. i think only saki, luka, and shizukus skills didnt come to me that way.

while the rui fish in tsukasa card might be obvious, theres actually more animals referencing other characters too! theres a group of three fish in sakis card that are the colors of the rest of leoni, the sneakiest of the bunch, and also not quite as sneaky but maybe not as obvious as the rui fish is the airi and minori sea slugs :)

i did think about giving tsukasa fish to be emu and nene too, but that many differently colored fish in a 2* seemed like too much, so i didnt do it... at least of the units involved, 2/3 of them are fully represented in some way!

and now most importantly probably, is that this is in fact my second pass at an aquarium event! the original one i started back in 2022 and......... i think you guys can figure out why i couldnt just reuse it when i decided to go for making an aquarium event again this time.

yep, youre seeing that right. 4/5 of the characters i chose are the same as what ended up being 1dt, all i got wrong was the vs. thats pretty crazy, honestly. im still not fully convinced colopale isnt just stealing my ideas after val3 happened too /j

it was also saki focus actually! i had written out a rough idea for the story back then too, and while theres some similarities to the current one, it obviously went through a lot of changes when revising the lineup and also with everything that has happened in the story over the past two years. it was definitely a bit more explicitly shippy than my new attempt, although i still tried to keep the shipping stuff toned back somewhat

i only ever made one card for that set though, just lukas 2*... but thats the original reason i made the old 2* backgrounds! its always those fake events throwing me into the graphic design trenches (fist shake) i had been trying to do a more canon-accurate style to......... mixed success. its not terrible, but i definitely could not have done the full set like this. theres a reason i did promised aquarium in my own style!

the original theme for the set was kind of like..... performers at an aquarium? along with living water sculptures of animals. it was a fun idea, but i think i was much better suited to doing the underwater scenes of promised aquarium and also we have plenty of performance themed trained sets already ^^

considering i also technically kept her from the original set (plus she was also winning the vs poll), i gave her a higher rarity card this time around for fun. and also because i knew none of shizuku tsukasa or luka would have super significant roles in the story, and i thought it would be fun to design a lim hairstyle for her!

one final random fun fact: the thing that kicked me into gear making promised aquarium was the fact that haruka wasnt on beautiful sound. i was just a little mad that they had an underwater set WITH A PENGUIN COSTUME and there was no haruka. sometimes petty beef brings out my craziest motivations and then i proceeded to spend the better part of a month planning and making it happen.

[dontmindme2600]

Random ask, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in any media, like anime/manga, tv series, books, etc (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them....

OHHHH uhhh most of these will probably be non-canon. Also I’m a HUGE fan of best friends to lovers and this is going to make that extremely obvious. I might not have a super deep reason for a lot of these…

-Vashwood (Trigun): I love that they’re totally doomed lmao. I mean, I like that it’s angsty.

-Orufrey (WHA): You can tell they’ve known each other for a long time just by the way they interact and I think it’s sweet. I’m not finished with WHA yet so I can’t really give a more deep answer than that lol

-Otasune (MGS): I like their friendship and there are definitely times in the series where they act 100% like they’re married, and I mean I can’t really argue with that

-ThanZag (Hades): I think they’re really cute together and it was just refreshing to see a game with an actually canon queer couple involving the MC. Also the angst at the beginning of the game was nice. Also also some of their dialogue together is absolutely perfect, so much pining fit neatly into a small text box. I should take notes for my own writing like actually

-Jolymes (JJBA): their relationship would definitely be chaotic as hell and I think that’s entertaining. Also they’re just cute together!!

-Klapollo (Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney): I mean. You can’t really argue against “but this is the first time I’ve felt this way with a man.” Their contrast is funny and I can see them genuinely being a good couple

-Kazangelo (Neo Yokio): Ok this one is definitely ironically because I watched the entirety of Neo Yokio ironically, but god it’s so fucking funny to me. Their relationship is terrible and so are they. Literal comedy gold. I would totally buy Kazangelo merch if it existed- someone hit me up with fan-made Kazangelo merch if it exists.

Also I’m annoying myself because I could have SWORN there were at least a few m/f ships I was obsessed with at some point but now I genuinely can’t think of any… the only thing that comes to mind is Cloti from FF7R which I wasn’t even that crazy about. I CANT THINK OF IT AAAAA it’s bugging me!!

[thatgirlstrawberry]

Prompts :)

Hellooooooo! Here’s a list of prompts in case you’d like to request but you don’t know what! OR if you’re a writer as well and you need some inspiration!

I will be adding more all the time

I want him to look at me like this—

ANYWAY HERE YOU GOOOOOO

Dialogue prompts

Fluff

1 - "Just give me your damn hand."

2 - "Why is it that I know everything about you?"

3 - "You did not just eat the last dorito."

4 - "I really like playing with your hair!"

5 - "How many laws did we just break?"

6 - "I don't give piggyback rides to just anyone."

7 - "Stay behind me."

8 - "Don't move! You're gonna break it!"

9 - "Hey! No double dipping!"

10 - "Just kiss me already!"

11 - "If we get caught kissing, we're dead."

12 - "I just cant see myself ever living without you."

13 - ""I've never felt this way before, and truthfully it scares me. But, the idea of never trying scares me even more."

14 - "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"

15 - "No matter how much time we've spent apart, I never stopped loving you."

16 - "I can braid your hair for you- I mean, only if you want."

17 - "Don't go on that date." "Why?" "You know why." "Say it."

18 - "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to see if you were okay."

19 - “You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

20 - “Next problem… we might die."

21 - "...Did you just sniff me?"

22 - "You're bleeding." "No shit."

23 - "Close your eyes and hold out your hand."

24 - "Where are we going?" "It's a surprise." "I hope the surprise involves food."

25 - "I can't stand you!" "Then sit down."

26 - “I am nothing if not consistent.” “Yeah, a consistent pain in my ass.”

27 - "What happened to your hand?" "I hit my hand on something." "On what?" "Your ex's face."

28 - "I heard that!" "You were supposed to!"

29 - "I've been thinking-" "Uh-oh"

30 - “For the most part, I am, in fact, an idiot. But I fully admit to it, which should count for something.”

31 - "Why are you creeping outside my bedroom window?!" "I thought it would be romantic if I climbed up here." "You gave me a heart-attack!"

32 - "I hate that I let you convince me to do this"

33 - "You said you wouldn't fall in love with me." "I lied."

34 - "Let me take care of things for once, alright?"

35 - “Are you flirting with me?”

36 - “if you cry, i’ll cry ─ and that won’t be fun for anyone.”

37 - “you cancelled plans for me?”

38 - “my lipgloss is all over your lips.”

39 - “you ramble and it’s adorable.”

40 - “nothing else matters except for you.”

41 - “You’re such an idiot. my idiot but still.”

42 - “that’s the sixth time you’ve complimented me today.”

43 - “have you ever thought about how much worse our lives would be without each other?”

44 - "my mom would hate you."

45 - "All I've ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home. And you gave me that. Because you are my home."

46 - “Are you… jealous?”

47 - “‘Cause you’re pretty, and you’re smart and you’re... ignoring me, so you’re obviously my type.”

48 - “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

49 - “You look...“ “Ridiculous? Stupid? Out of place?” “Beautiful.”

50 - “Alright— where’s the idiot?” “Uh... I’m here.” “Surprisingly enough, I’m not talking about you this time.”

51 - "Sleep over? Please?"

52 - "I don't... I've never... been in a relationship before and I'm going to make mistakes... I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me."

53 - "I apologise sincerely if my beautiful/handsome face has kept you up all night."

54 - "Home stopped being a place when you entered my life."

55 - "This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

56 - "You're making it weird, stop making it weird."

57 - "What did you break this time?"

58 - “Okay, well if you’re leaving me for the day then the least you can do is give me a hug before you go.” “I’ll do you one better and give you a hug and a few kisses.” 

59 - “And I thought you were whiney when you weren’t sick!”

60 - “You’ll either take this medicine or I’ll lock you in your room until you’re better.”

Angst/Emotional

61 - “And that makes it okay?”

62 - “We’re you trying to destroy us?”

63 - “When did you stop loving me?”

64 - I’m tired of you telling me that everything’s going to be okay

65 - "Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me."

66 - "Forget it. Just like you forget everything else."

67 - "Whats the point in trying if only one of us is willing to?"

68 - “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

69 - “You weren’t there...why weren’t you there? I needed you! I needed you! And you weren't there!”

70 - “All I wanted was a happy ending.”

71 - "You said you wouldn't leave, and then you did."

72 - "This is the third time you've broken a promise to me, I'm starting to think you are doing it on purpose."

73 - "Whatever you do, do not close your eyes."

74 - "For once in your life, do what you want! Be selfish!"

75 - “I would give up everything for the chance to hear your laugh again. To see you smile. To see you happy."

76 - "I always said I'd die for you." "I didn't think you meant literally."

78 - “You would risk letting all those people die for one person? Why?” “Because it’s not just one person…it’s you.”

79 - "I know you're tired, but you have to stay awake."

80 - "Shh, shh. It's all right-I got you. I got you. Don't fight it, just sleep. There you go. Just sleep now,"

81 - “It’s not like I wanted it to happen!”

82 - "I... I really gotta go-"

83 - "Go. Away. Do something right at least once!"

84 - "You forgot me again." "I could never forget you-" "Yeah, but you did."

85 - “Fine! Get yourself killed! See if I care!”

86 - “I said fuck off!”

87 - "You really wanna fo this now!? In front of them!?"

88 - "Baby, we don't stand a chance. It's sad but it's true."

89 - "They'll never love you like I can."

90 - "I always thought you would try everything before you gave up on us but I guess I was wrong."

91 - "You’ve changed, you’re not the person I fell in love with, you are not a person I can love."

92 - "You didn’t say goodbye, you left a fucking note and thought ‘this will be good enough.’"

93 - "I thought we were in love,  turns out I was just fucking delusional." 

94 - "You knew it would hurt me and you still did it."

95 - "I know what I said, I was fucking lying."

96 - "I hate playing these games with you."

97 - "Be very careful with what you say next."

98 - "I’m really sick of your glass-half-empty attitude-" "Well, I'm sick of you."

99 - "We’re finally getting somewhere and you want to stop?"

100 - "I open up to you and you shut me out." "Because I can't handle your incessant whining!"

Scenario prompts

Fluff

101 - Looking around for the shirt they left at their house; only to find it in a drawer with other clothes and items they've left.

102 - Realizing they were holding hands the entire time the moment they had to let go. (after getting scared, nervous, frightened, etc.)

103 - A game of 20 questions that ends with "Can I kiss you?"

104 - Walking together and it starts to rain, so they grab your hand and you start running until you can find somewhere to escape getting wet.

105 - As they begin to fall asleep, they feel a gentle kiss pressed to their temple and a blanket draped over them.

106 - Getting stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel.

107 - Holding hands underneath the table.

108 - Her/him teaching her/him  to ice skate/roller skate.

109 - They refuse to leave so they pick you up and throw them over their shoulder.

110 - Shielding the other with their body to save/protect them.

111 - Get locked in somewhere together.

112 - Fall asleep in same bed, on opposite sides, wake up in each others arms.

113 - Pillow talk

114 - Watching a sad movie and they hear their s/o sniffling. They grab s/o's hand for comfort.

115 - They find a love note in s/o's drawer addresses to them

116 - Valentines day

117 - she catches him staring at her, with the most longing look she's ever seen

118 - it's her birthday and S/o has a huge surprise for her

119 - S/o drags her to a party and makes it known that she is his.

120 - She and her boyfriend babysit her little sister

121 - Christmas eve/day

122 - taking a photo of the smiling or in their element

123 - small kisses littered across the other’s face

124 - tracing one person’s lips with a finger before tilting their chin up for a kiss

125 - kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height equality

126 - avoiding each other at all cost, yet somehow ending up together and kissing

127 - she bites him playfully and he looks like the most betrayed person in the world

128 - She pulls him over to her by his belt loop

129 - kisses in which, they've already said goodbye but can't help stealing another one

130 - tending to their lover's wound, placing a kiss on top of their head, grateful they're still alive

131 - the minutes after they had a huge fight and made up

132 - holding hands while sleeping

133 - when they haven’t seen each other for a while and all this time they’ve been trying to stay strong, but when they reunite, they crash into each other’s arms, and completely breakdown

134 - when a character is falling in love, and their love interest is making them smile, and they’re flustered, blushing, in such a happy state of mind that they look to the ground, trying to hide their burning red cheeks 

135 -  tracing a finger across their lover's scar

136 - kissing their lover when they ask why they've been avoiding them, not realizing it's because they're jealous that they've been hanging out with another potential love interest

137 - solid eye-contact, then *gaze drops to lips*

138 -  tying their lover's tie

139 - agreeing to sleep in separate beds but ending up sneaking into each other's to snuggle

140 - After a rough fight, she tends to his wounds

Dialogue [this is all over the place and I'll fix it later so sorry!]

Smut prompts

141 - “ten? i only need five.”

142 - “that was the prettiest sound i’ve ever heard.”

143 - “are you doing that on purpose?”

144 - “keep quiet or someone’ll hear.”

145 - "now this is something that your dad would kill me for."

146 - “lipstick’s a good look on you.”

147 - “this isn’t what i had in mind when i yelled fuck you.”

148 - “i thought your laugh was the prettiest sound in the world. i was wrong, it's your moans.”

149 - "right now? They're in the next room!"

150 - "Why don't you prove to me that your mouth can do more than talk shit."

151 - "is this your first time?"

152 - “as beautiful as you look, all i want to do is rip that dress off right now.”

153 - “Forget the bed… let’s do it right here.”

154 - “If we get caught, I’m blaming you”

155 - "You saw me naked!”

156 - “Can you guys just fuck already?” ~ third party

157 - “don’t worry i’ll take care of you”

158 - “i don’t feel like sleeping”

159 - “why don’t we move this to the bed”

160 - “this feels dirty” “that's because it is”

Fluff

161 - "what do you think our kids would be like?"

162 - "I can't breathe without you so don't go."

163 - "kiss me like you love me."

164 - "bite me... ow!" "What? You told me to!"

165 - "I want to marry you someday."

166 - "Why do we always end up in bed after we kiss?"

167 - "we can do whatever you want just as long as it's together."

168 - "Stop trying to eat the food before its done!"

169 - "Are you flirting with me?" "... you notice now after three years?"

170 - "You're so dumb" *loving/pining look*

171 - "I will never not love you."

172 - "You don't even have to love me back. I just want you to know that i think about you every second of every day because I love you."

173 - "that look won't work this time!" "*gives them the look*" "shit."

174 - “would it be weird if i kissed you? be honest.”   “honestly? yes. do i care? no.”

175 - “just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn’t, like, mean anything, by the way. not in that way, at least. unless you want it to mean something. i don’t mind. that’s cool.”

176 - "I'm scared." "Me too but that doesn't mean I'll run away. Unless you wanna run- do you wanna run?" "RUN!"

177 - "Let me help."

178 - "Please don't look at me like that. I'll never leave this house."

179 - "did you just wink at me?" "w-what? N-no! A bug flew in my eye!" "Yeah sure."

180 - "wherever you go, I'm there. Just say the word."

More scenarios!!

181 - not liking any of the other’s previous partners and finally admitting the reason is because they were jealous or being accused of being jealous

182 - dreaming about the friend in a romantic way

183 - neither of the two caring much for valentine’s day, but being dragged out for a double date with friends

[ghoodles]

Spidersona!!

More info below!

- Bitten by a genetically modified spider, not radioactive. It wasnt exposed to any radiation, its cells were just altered while it was being developed in the egg sac

- Southern as hell!! [Thats a constant in all their varients, no matter where they are they are southern]

- She didnt want to be Arachne, while testing out their powers for the first time he got involved in a mugging and it all escalated from there.

- Oscorp /neg

- Wanted to go into alchemy and coding before he got bit

- Has the comics and stuff in their universe, but no actual Spider-Man, up until now

- Their canon event was their house burning down and them being presumed dead. The ring on their casual outfit is from her mom. Everyone is still alive and well, he just.. cant talk to them anymore, at least its.. not the same.

- Organic webbing in legs. How did she find out? He tried to see if he had organic webs, didnt, fell, tried it again, and bam, leg webs.

- Because of being upside-down a lot, they get nauseous easily while being Arachne, and usually keeps medicine to stop it

- They also cannot handle too much heat, so most of their suit is made out an easily breathable material that allows them to cool off

- Multiple earth varients!!

423-A is this one, 423-B is a stocker in a grocery store who accidentally became an anomalous spiderman due to The Spot chucking them into another universe, and 423-C, who was an alchemax intern until she got involved with The Spot and the collider her version of Doc-Ock, Octavia, built. They then sort of ended up becoming like him.

- She views Noir as a father figure, sometimes it slips out but he always covers it up

- Had intrusive thoughts before the bite, got a bit more frequent afterwards

- There is actually a lot of varients of Sparrow in earth-90214 (noir world) and their varients

- Also in earth-138 (hobie's world)

- Neither of them are spider-people though

- Actually scared of animals if they dont know them well. Doesnt matter if its a small bunny, they're terrified

- Doesn't like the momentum of swinging, but it got them to his city quickly, and they cant drive, so..

- Lived in a suburban area about 15 minutes away from their actual city

- Light sensitivity, also has horrible depth perception when hiding their extra eyes

- It took them forever to find a good mask idea

- Was invited to the Society a couple of days after his canon event, which happened a couple of weeks after being Arachne

- Was given webshooters by Peter to try and make webslinging easier

- Also goes by Cherry! (My mom called me this as a joke after i dyed my hair and the name actually kinda stuck..)

- Misses their cats dearly. They know its him, but he cant be there for them.

- Essentially just myself but if i was spider-man

- Doesnt exactly have a living space after their event, considering that theyre 15 and unable to get an apartment due to that fact

- Mostly just chills in the society in the nights because of that

- Stays up till ungodly hours just writing or thinking

- Terrifed of Miguel. Like, genuinely fucking terrifed.

- Doesnt do well with loud noises, especially yelling, at all. Would have their headphones on them at all times, but they burned.

- Gets headaches when things get too loud or stressful

- These headaches can turn into migranes, and on those days she just lays in the society all day and tries to keep themselves still so it can be bearable

- List of flags!

1- Lesbian

2- Asexual

3- Queerplatonic! On the Aromantic spectrum, she wants to do romantic things, but with her friends!

4- Genderfluid

- I didnt add the flag but yes, this means that he is on the Aro/Ace SPECTRUM, he, like myself, can still feel romantic attraction (i think)

- Clumsy swinger with his legs, it can never get the hang of it

[egotokill]

some life updates cuz i havent been active recently under the cut

• im about to turn 20 in less than two weeks. kinda crazy to think about.

• i moved back home nearly a year ago but im moving out again soon, this time for two years and not just one

• im gonna start working at a hospital anytime between july and september. im doing a lot of bureaucracy rn which is draining the hell out of me

• i was a cashier for a bit under a month until i had a mental breakdown mid shift and quit on the spot

• im in a bit of a gendersexuality mindfuck rn. im experimenting with it/its pronouns on top of he/him except im not really doing that i just say that i am. also i still consider myself a gay man cause i cant see myself romantically involved with a woman but i think i wouldnt mind fucking one or being fucked by one. maybe ill just ditch labels altogether and stop caring. maybe ill try hooking up with a woman

• had a situationship that lasted about 3 weeks

• there seems to be the start of a roach infestation in my house that we're trying to fix before its too late

• ive lost passion in writing and art and cooking and nowadays most of what i do is play animal crossing or splatoon 3 on my new switch, or playing honkai star rail which im a bit obsessed with

• i have bi/triweekly meetings with a neverchanging group of friends, at least once a week i meet my best friend (except that time we havent seen each other in a month and i had a mental breakdown over it), and every other time i leave the house is a miracle

• stopped taking my meds and returned to smoking sometimes, but im thinking about taking my meds again cause ill need the stability in my new job

thanks for reading guys love you.

[vibinglikethat]

my thoughts and feelings about jedi survivor (spoilers ahead)

ok so i've finished the storyline of jedi survivor and i thought i would express my many feelings about this amazing game (in case i wasn't obvious lol, i LOVED it.)

so the game takes place 5 years after jedi fallen order, and of course lots of things have happened between JFO and JS, one of which is the crew went their separate ways and it becomes clear that cal wasnt happy with that. eventually they all reunite and everything is nice and there is hope and then you remember this is star wars and it's set during the empire and so that hope turns to dust real quick and it's AGONIZING.

GOD i can't stop thinking about bode and his betrayal i dont remember the last time i was so fucking shocked over a character's betrayal, i was never shocked with anakin because uhhh yeah he was always meant to be darth vader lol, but with bode??? i did NOT see it coming. it especially sucks because i really liked him. and the fact that he used to be a JEDI???? THAT FUCKING SHOOK ME TO THE CORE. i feel so bad for his daughter OH my god :( she lost her parents at such a young age i want to cry (I LOVE that merrin especially tries to help and comfort her because she can relate im going to sob)

cere junda.....oh man. oh god. my love for cere is endless and im still processing her death (YES I KNOW SHES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER I CANT HELP HOW I FEEL LOL) i actually already kinda knew she was going to die because i saw gifs but i feel like i would have been even MORE upset if i didnt know because OH my god.........the darth vader and cere fight scene was SO cool though like tragedy aside i loved being able to do that omg you cant really properly fight darth in JFO and i loved that you could this time while playing as cere

god cal crying while holding her body wrecked me.....i wont be forgetting that anytime soon, if ever.

CAL AND MERRIN ARE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH im gonna admit and say i never called myself a cal/merrin shipper but i HAVE loved their dynamic and i love romance so im definitely shipping them now lol (MERRIN BEING THE FIRST TO INSTIGATE THEIR KISS.....WE LOVE TO SEE IT)

greez........i love greez :) i DO want to know what happened to his arm because OH my god wtf anyway i love that he has a saloon, good for him. this game made me love him even more. he just loves his found family :((( AND OH MY GOD HE WAS SO HEARTBROKEN AFTER CERE I WANT TO THROW UP

this is getting absurdly song omg sorry lol im sure im forgetting some things but these are the most significant moments that happened and i wont be forgetting anytime soon lol

also btw i straight up cried during the funeral scene which is the last scene that plays before the credits. the force theme played which probably contributed to my tears lol

anyway the ending was perfect, this game is perfect, the emotional devastation is perfect, the gameplay is perfect, i cannot recommend this game ENOUGH. if you like star wars and souls-like games. if you've read this far please feel free to reblog and say "so true op" in the tags lol

[nondivisable]

hi im muting my notifications on this post cause i cant deal anymore but first i need a last angry rant

where in it do you see "my body my choice means im exempt from consequences"? NOWHERE, because that's obviously not the case

yes, people with PDs can be abusive without their meds

yes, being raised in an addictive household can be bad for a child

yes, refusing treatment for medical conditions can make you a "burden" for your family (im actually way more mad at this one than the rest, im just choosing my battles)

as much as it is my choice whether or not to medicate my personality disorder, it is also yours to be involved with me or not

i have gone AWOL for months due to this, i've canceled plans last minute, i've hurt people's feelings

some of these people accept that that's the way i am and are still my friends and some don't and we don't talk anymore. i broke up with my ex over this because i was a very bad romantic partner. we're still friends, but they usually lean on others for emotional support cause i can't understand it. i am mad about none of these things, because i know them to be true. i also know strong meds make me want to kill myself. they make me not feel like a person. i refuse to take meds to be more palatable to you.

ALL OF THESE THINGS CAN COEXIST

people can do shit that is harmful to you, but that doesn't give you the right to deprive them of their basic human rights

(shoutout to the person who called me a white american liberal, i'm latine and an agressive socialist but it did make me take the rest of their post less seriously, otherwise i would've cried)

also also, just because this is the last time i'm speaking on this:

every one of you who starts your post with "i agree with the transition part but" is a hypocrite

not too long ago - not to mention to this day - transmasc lesbians and trans men who didn't medically transition were kicked out of every single queer circle, trans spaces, lesbian spaces, gay spaces. because of closed mentality

if you can open your mind to one of these things, you can open it to all. deconstruct yourself or whatever the fuck

some of yall need to understand that "my body, my choice" also applies to:

addicts in active addiction with no intention of quitting

phys disabled people who deny medical treatment

neurodivergent people who deny psychiatric treatment (yes, including schizophrenic people and people with personality disorders)

trans people who want or don't want to medically transition (yes, including trans masc lesbians with top surgery and trans women without bottom surgery, yall are so weird to them wtf)

and if you can't understand that, then you don't get to use the phrase

[bloodglucose]

i kinda hesitated posting about this esp bc ive been putting a very happy front lately but given ive been stuck in the middle of it all it wouldn’t hurt to share.

about a month ago, my mom found out my dad was cheating on her with a woman over in mexico. since then, my parents stopped talking to each other. neither of them would tell me about it until today, at my mom’s bday brunch when she finally told me and my brother.

bc they are not speaking to each other, my dad has been trying to communicate with my mom through me.

on one hand, i really hate seeing my parents like this. my dad was a very romantic type with my mom, he is a very “acts of service” man and in a way he kinda set the standards for me in relationships.

on the other hand, i cant forgive him for betraying my mom this way. my mom always talked about her retirement plans that involved taking care of my dad as he’s pushing 70 and hard labor is starting to affect his health. now that she isnt doing anything for him anymore, i see just how much she cared for my dad because he is struggling without her. and its incredibly hard to watch. he has GERD and my mom always cooked meals that met his dietary restrictions. now he has been eating mostly street food that upsets his stomach and he is noticeably sick. i have to stop myself from trying to intervene bc i think he deserves it for being a traitor, but i just hate that part of me is hurting watching him sick bc inside me is going “thats my dad and i dont like seeing him ill.” its so complicated that all i can do is just sob in my room about it.

its naive, but i really did think my parents would grow old together. and this is going to change everything.