#but i cant get the idea to leave my brain
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sillyfroggremlin · 8 months ago
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maybe I've just been reading a lot of meddison fanfic lately but... a fic of them inspired by "Homewrecking Era" by xana... who can stop me
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thedrotter · 5 months ago
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a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.
doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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triglycercule · 2 months ago
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i WAS gonna complain about horror being a skeleton and therefore never able to do the akanbe face but then i remembered. i'm an artist!! i can just DRAW him doing it 😇😇😇 ok but he doesn't have eyelids iKNOW ill figure it out ok
#im going on a short vacation that means prime time to slack off and mtthink#and i have some drawing ideas froM LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO that i never drew because i had no motivation or even time#so now i can do it :3333 lets (me) see if i still even like the ideas#and i have Saturday and sunday and mondayOFFschool and then i leave on wednesday morning ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#and that gives me prime time to draw draw DRAW#and theres like 20 days left of October i really should get to work on that animation meme#i WILL trust i swear#if not i kill myself#jk! (fashion au?)#ive been using kaomojis now. jk killer would too#ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#me taking like a whole week on a shitty hrkl little writing thing when it was leagues easier to just describe my idea#i REALLY had a vision and then i was reminded that writing is boring and that a vision expressed through words cant keep my attention#anyways i finished another little dust doodle of a song that reminded me of him#now it is time to actually get my life together and shower and brush teeth#the only homework ive got is reading a few pages#i have been ON TOP OF MY HOMEWORK since school started bro😭😭😭😭 ive been SUCH a good student 😭😭😭😭#so much free time at home and yet none of it is spent on doing anything but laying down and lazing about#come on! come on! you need to get up! use your brain! PLEASE TRIGLYVERUVLE PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTSINMENT#forcing myself to do something i find fun when i have no motivation to get up is so annoying#iWANT to draw iWANT to think i WANT to write (eh) but i just nonono feel like it (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)#tricule rant#actually today i found another song that could fit horror but i just glanced at the lyrics#if i aint mtt pondering at the very least ill be connecting them to songs#new art project is gonna have HINTS of mtt in it. not really but if im aware of them then they exist#i love art class i love learning about art principles i just wish i could apply that shit to my work#well DIGITAL work. doing stuff traditionally always feels so much easier
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quarklynx · 1 year ago
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Folks, can we please tag posts regarding current events? not everyone is in a space where they should be seeing content like that quite so frequently
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endbeginning · 6 months ago
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and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
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larabar · 2 years ago
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Please give more info for your Frontiers au, it makes me very happy
HI YES ALWAYS
this is late because i wanted to have a little more to show you than i had before but Anyway
ok .ok so
each character in the game had their own Main Issue/Thing. amy's was .idk love and wanting to share it with others. knux's was his ancestors and his own past, learning to get off angel island once in a while. and tails' was all about his independence
but for sonic it was really hard to find something sjdnfj since he doesn't really have anything to go off of (flat character and all that) but. i got thinking about how cyberspace affected each character and just how it Works
from what i understand, being stuck between cyberspace and reality has no feeling to it, no sense of being 'grounded', and all that other fun stuff .
and that sounds like a living hell for sonic
he can't do anything. he can run but it doesn't give him the same feeling because there is no feeling. the most he can do is just sit back and wait till everything's fixed.
y'know what just take this
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not finished but it gets my point across and also im so normal about these two
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thelovelybitten · 1 year ago
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*rushing to finish all my Stendy Week prompts 😀😀*
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lilacponds · 2 years ago
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sometimes i think im too chronically online and then i see some opinions around and im like
takes drag from cigarette
im too old for this
#i dont know the right term for this but.#im so tired of the concept that people cannot be allowed to grow and learn from their mistakes#sometimes im tempted to throw all my dirty laundry out here just to see who sticks around?#like i grew up in a toxic environment with shitty bigoted ideas. of course growing up i internalized a lot of them#i was unhealthy and i was toxic and all i can hope for is that there isnt anything i havent weeded out inside of me#but i was growing up. i didnt know better. people sometimes just Dont Know Better#and of course no one HAS to forgive someone thats hurt them#but people cant as a society disregard that people CAN learn and grow from their mistakes#and become better people#and that theyre not the people that they used to be when they were 13 or 16 or even 20 if theyre older than that#human beings are in constant state of change#idk im too tired to get into cancel culture and purity culture#and my brain just took a pit stop at the discourse of prison rehabilitation somewhere in there but im not knowledgeable enough to park there#cause thats not what im talking about. but i feel like better people than me would make that connection in a smart way too#and NO this isnt about serial killers or rapists or abusers for the love of god. have some critical thinking skills#theres some discussion about ethics and empathy to be had but im not touching that even with a 7ft pole#THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR DISCOURSE. LEAVE ME BE. ITS JUST VENTING#Charlie chatters
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shoezuki · 2 years ago
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It is currently 3:51am and i cant seem to fall back asleep but i just had a fucking phenomenal idea for a ritshou fic entirely based on something i experienced as a kid.
So in like 3rd and 4th grade i would be put into 'special' classes with one teacher, maybe 3 other students, with no explanation to little old me. And we'd all sit close together carefully pronouncing vowels and consonents and words
And i went on like that for weeks maybe months not telling my mom until one day the truth is revealed. Where the teacher has a meeting with my mom. And i finally get glasses.
And it turns out that, because i would struggle to read what was on the chalkboard cuz i always sat in the back of the class, it was assumed i had issued with pronounciations (which was actually true to a small degree i had a lisp then) and so id be pulled into these smaller pronounciation lessons but somehow in them id pronounce things PERFECTLY. and it took so long for people to realize that was because i would be close enough to the board in those classes that i could see properly. But id thought blurry vision was normal and no one had bothered to ask me bout it
Anyways im gonna write ritsu goin thru that
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thefaeriecreek · 1 year ago
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There's a thing in screenwriting called a logline, or an elevator pitch. They're used to pitch a story to a publisher or agent, however writers of any kind (novels, fanfic, comics, film, games, etc) can use them to narrow their story's scope, sharpen the story's conflict, and get a better understanding their story.
Any great story can be summarized in only a line or two. Here's the logline for How To Train Your Dragon, for example.
A hapless young Viking who aspires to hunt dragons becomes the unlikely friend of a young dragon himself and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed.
You can read more about loglines here.
How To Write A Logline (Reedsy Video)
List of Famous Loglines
How To Write A Logline (Masterclass Article)
How to Write a Logline Producers Won’t Pass On (Studio Binder Article)
Developing the skill of briefly summarising your creative works isn't just good for posting them on fanfiction archives and itch.io, it's also a good way of cultivating creative discipline. If you can't explain in a few short sentences what a work's deal is, that may be a sign that you don't actually know where you're going with it yourself; composing that summary obliges you to come up with an answer to the question "what the fuck am I doing here?"
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nerdie-faerie · 6 months ago
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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apollo-zero-one · 10 months ago
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Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep
#every day I want to give up and go back to my mom's house and apologize for leaving#I'm still powerless here but this is unfamiliar. at least I knew what to expect there#I still had people to avoid and I still didn't want to leave my room but at least I knew I wouldn't be kicked out if I broke a rule#I'm so scared and so sad and I feel so small and so alone#all I want is a home that is mine that I can feel safe and secure in that I can retreat to that I can have power in#All I want is the safety ans security to take a break and to take care of myself#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get#help when it's visible so whenever my mental health gets bad like this I have these constant terrible urges to tear myself apart#The ideas are so vivid and so constant I want to tear my skin to ribbons and break all of my bones and gouge my eyes out and bite my tongue#I want to claw up my face and bite off my fingers and snap each of my ribs#I get phantom aches all over and my body is so tense and wound up and my heart beats so hard for hours and hours#I want to slam my head into a brick wall until something cracks and I hate myself I hate myself for this I hate myself for my selfishness#and for my weakness and for my existence and I want to vomit up my guts and I want my suffering to be real and treatable#I want someone to save me from myself. I want the pain to go away. But there isnt pain is there because its all in my head#I'm doing this to myself just like I have my entire goddamn life. My mom says I was born in pain and cried nonstop for a whole year. Then I#grew out of it and I was perfect. except no I wasn't because I wrote big long notes in phonetic spirals about how I deserve to die.#isn't that a sign?? Isnt that a sign?? i was born this way and things will never get any better they will only change and change and change#and still hurt in ways that I cant prove that I will second guess because maybe they aren't real and I'm just stupid useless helpless weak#when I bleed I can ask someone for a bandaid. when I... exist like this. I can't ask for anything. What helps? What helps? nothing really.#being useless helps until it doesn't. I have to work to pay for the chemicals that barely help. Why do innocent people die every day and not#me. when I pray for it. When I beg. And I'm not afraid to walk alone at night because NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. Because I'm so lucky.#Soooo lucky. it isnt fair. She deserves it more than me. who? pick. anyone. Someone who wants it. Maybe who I could have been if I were#better. Not me. I dont get hurt. I dont get lost. I dont die. Maybe I cant maybe I never will. I'm more afraid of having to live like this.#My life is always on the line of not quite not quite and I never need help and I always need help and I'm never enough and I'm average.#the standard. the center. Above me dont need and below me do and I? What do I? both. neither. I shouldn't exist. It hurts to exist like this#in between. I should be able to do this myself. I'm the worst player on the best team and the best player on the worst and I don't fit in#either and everyone hates me for being one or the other and I can never be better so I want to be worse and thats my whole life in one#sentiment. I'm always at the bar and I can never get over it. I've been begging forever please lower your expectations I cant do better than#this. so I'll do worse. I'll make myself worse. I deserve it anyway. I'll be more scars than skin and more pain than person and then maybe#I'll belong somewhere god fucking knows even if its a padded room I could belong somewhere.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#just turning over the idea of executive functioning issues in my head part by part. impulse control. im extremely tightly controlled. im the#best at control. the only times im impulsive is when someone asks me something and my brain doesn't work well in the moment so i tend to b#like fuck it: says something that might fuck me over later bc im like whatever itll prob b fine lol. but mostly not an issue. emotional#control. i dont lash out at ppl except myself i guess. ill sometimes have freak out meltdowns bc i get so frustrated with myself plus mood#weirdness. so not great. flexible thinking. im pretty rigid. if plans randomly change theres like a 1 in 3 chance ill freak out and start#crying and it takes me a long time to adjust to the idea that i have to chsnge something. and things tend to have to b a certain way#not for any reason in particular. thats just how it has to b. i have to eat the same foods. operate at the same times. do thr same things.#thats just how it is. and i find it difficult in social situations to adapt to the flow of convention bc its like but we're talking abt thi#now but something just interrupted and we aren't going abck to that thing. i dont make it other ppls problem but its uncomfortable for me.#working memory. my memory is pretty fucked. self monitoring. im good at that. too good. im pathologically self reflective. planning &#prioritizing. i can plan but i cant prioritize for shit. i will spiral for hours doing nothing bc i can't decide what comes 1st.#task initation. im good at torturing myself into getting things done but i anxiously avoid a lot of things but once i start its like: im in#this mode now. no i cant fucking stop i need this to b done. i need to sit here and finish it otherwise i wont come back to it. i cant do#moderation its all or nothing. all school and nothing outside of that. cant send mail. cant clean sink. i see it and kno i need to do it an#then i just walk away from the disaster area. organization. is ok. it looks a disaster but i only exist in like 3 places so i dont lose#things often but i dont remember where i put things once i put them down i have to deduce where i would have put it. does that paint the#picture of executive functioning issues or rigid and restrictive compulsive behavior paired with self destructive impulses leading to#absolute mental exhaustion which is y things arent getting done? could b either or both. idk my ability to do things 95% of the way and wal#away leaving a mess that ill never come back to strikes me more as the former but what do i#still its worth considering bc i do have an amazing to control myself in a way that's completely out of my control. maybr my start/stop#switch is just fucked idk. slow down and reorient says my counselor u never stop to rest. shes right but also im a grad student stopping#would mean death u gotta keep swimming and doing more than u should. thats how it is#but im so tired and i only get more and more tired. so somethings gotta give eventually#unrelated#i forgot focus. my focus is good sometimes and sometimes my brain is moving too fast and i cant focus at all. its static#but focus is not a thing i cna control
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mimisplayground · 4 months ago
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More on Ghost being nasty and then theres a certain ask in my inbox abt Krueger thats itching my brain and I WILL be writing abt >:3
But just nasty Ghost who gets home from the gym and you have to avoid him like the plague until he goes to take a shower. Because he’s sweaty, kinda gross, and the first thing he wants to do is latch onto you and give you wet kisses that leave you cringing at the feeling.
Finally greeting him when he showers just to still get the gross wet kisses. And hes totally biting at your face a bit too, which leaves you wiggling out of his grasp.
When you two are eating dinner and something drops onto your chest and before you can grab a napkin he’s already licking it up. And you just groan and shove away his head.
Laying on the couch together but really its just Simon putting his full weight on top of you. Bonus points when he inevitably falls asleep snoring like a train engine and you can feel his drool pooling on you. Good luck kicking him off too, he doesn’t budge.
And of course, as we remember, he fucks just as nasty too. He’s spitting straight on his dick before he thrusts into you, needs to make sure your insides are as mixed with him as he can. Has you in the meanest grip possible and is playing with your nipples and your body as much as he can.
Makes it his goal to have you squirt, thrusts hard and groans a “fuckin’ hell… tight fuckin’ grip,” as he wipes sweat from his face. Merciless pace, salivating so bad he’ll probably choke on his own spit a bit and still fuck you through it.
Manages to get you to squirt and he’s pulling out and licking it off of your body. Cums while hes humping the sheets below him bites your tummy a bit as he does. Almost howling with the way he moans.
Collapses on top of you not because he’s too tired to get up but because he cant stand the idea of you not being covered with his sweat and cum just yet. Because he’s gross, and nasty, and he loves you :(
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silverislander · 2 years ago
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something really fun and sexy adhd will do is block you from ever actually showing others what you're truly capable of. lol
#this is SO inconsequential but im kinda upset abt it#i finished my final american lit paper today. 9 pages kind of a big deal. im glad its done now#but i cant even be proud of it#bc i changed my original idea four times and only wound up with a week to work on the final version which. wasnt really enough time#and it morphed while i was writing it too bc i came up with a better angle#but now its really disorganized which i know ill lose points on. and i Know its not my best work#but i dont have time to fix it bc its due tomorrow#and just. if i hadnt put this off. or hadnt kept chasing down whatever new fun shiny thing i came up with instead#its not even a bad essay its just. i could for sure do better. i had three weeks i could have CRUSHED this#smth that really shows what im capable of and could net me the grade i know i can get when im at my best#its the difference between a 70 and a 90 but it matters to me#i started it early and still wound up rushing myself and procrastinating#all bc this is what my brain just always fucking does#levi.txt#and to top it all off i REALLY like this prof. ive taken two courses with him hes super cool and ive had actual fun in his classes#... and This is the impression i have to leave him with. a half assed mess#i know he knows what i can do and im so disappointed i couldnt pass smth better in to prove it#esp bc its the LAST paper i will ever write in one of his classes :(#like. my original idea was a historical overview and it wound up talking abt depictions of the thing instead#so i have like 3 paragraphs of Just history/background that i dont know how to break down and integrate and its MESSY#im not a perfectionist in any other aspect of life but when it comes to papers i absolutely am. i wish i had time to fix this
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