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rcvcgers · 4 months ago

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Rotten Apples ❦.ׂ

chapter ten: fallout

masterlist , series masterlist , ao3 link

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oh yeah, i made a spotify playlist for this <3

18+ MINORS DNI

pairing: caleb x non!mc reader

synopsis: your relationship with caleb is on the rocks. he talks you out of accepting a job. something bad happens.

word count: 10.5k words

warnings: slightly proofread! i wrote this in one sitting ... don't judge too hard

author's note: hi! thank you so much for being patient with me! part 10 is a little ... yeah. i hope you enjoy it regardless !!

content warning: angst, mentions of death, self blaming, loathing, syringe/drugging

my rotten apples <3 : @militaryapple , @kebarney , @pinkismyfavcolor , @romils , @erisnxxi , @rik0shii , @reni502 , @spacehopper27 , @llamabois , @likesvader , @pandoras-rabbit , @princessfruit , @lukassafespace , @jexireads , @etsuniiru , @tinnyrabbit , @orianakira , @xiaorixx , @beomluvrr , @sanzy4 , @vickykazuya , @blcknebula , @sleepydang , @flamedancer13 , @gojosbedwarmer , @silmeria-lafleur , @ikiru-wa , @animecrazy76 , @fealy , @i-messed-up-big-time , @motheraiya55 , @vvonunie , @1uv4jiya , @yuuuumii , @okumurarinsbabe , @mcdepressed290 , @luleck , @sanzy4 , @lucifers-silhouette , @crazygirl3001 , @april-likes-smut , @kazbrkker , @l1ttlebabyapple , @writersandroses , @kookie-my-little-sunshine , @curryexpress , @earthykitsunesrain , @raining4food , @chaoticbardlady99 , @young-adult-summer

want to be added to the taglist? click here!

Things weren’t the same after the wedding.

The next morning, the two of you acted as if nothing had happened when your parents came back from their getaway. Their cheery smiles were met by shiny yet fake grins, you and Caleb being affectionate and in love. They made endless comments about how the two of you looked so good together, that your mother was always rooting for you and Caleb to get together as teens and cried about it when he died (he explained that his death was fake for DAA reasons, your parents didn’t press further into the matter).

They offered for the two of you to stay another night, to spend some time in Linkon together and visit the places you loved as a kid. Caleb knew you hated the idea by the way your voice went up an octave. He effortlessly made an excuse that you agreed to come with him to a Farspace Event, that it was unavoidable as a Colonel and his trusty translator.

So, they waved you away and the two of you kept up the facade that you are a couple in love, who cannot keep their hands off of each other, and watched as the image of your parents disappeared from the train’s window.

As soon as they were gone, you dropped the facade and put your headphones on, drowning out the outside world while you nursed a headache from the emotional stress. Caleb kept your hand in his, though, and watched as your face showed cracks for the first time that day.

It wouldn’t be the only time it happened.

To you, life had lost all of its color. Sure, you loved Caleb and wanted to continue your relationship with him. He has proven to you that he will choose you, make the time and effort to pursue you despite the people in your lives trying so hard to keep you apart.

There is still one raincloud that hangs over your head, though. It’s big and is a deep gray color, holding in all of the unanswered questions, anger, and sadness that has rooted itself inside of you. It hovers over the blooming apple tree in your heart. No fruit has come from the tree yet, its life still too young to support anymore weight than it can.

The cloud taunts the tree. It absorbs all of the sunlight that it tries to get, forever rejected the nourishment the tree needs to thrive. It also baits the tree into thinking that it will receive water, a necessity for it to survive. It holds all of the water inside itself, refusing to let go.

The tree begins to wither. It’s once healthy branches begin to turn dry, ready to snap under the pressure or from a forceful gust of wind.

Life at home was fine. You and Caleb remained together, usually opting to spend the night in his apartment instead of yours. You went about your day as usual, translating important documents and even occasionally being called upon to translate live for a high ranking official’s mission. The routine became monotonous, though.

You wake up beside Caleb and share a peck on the lips before getting ready for the day. He made breakfast while you made the bed and cleaned up any messes either of you made the previous night. You stood next to each other while you brushed your teeth. Caleb changed into his Colonel’s uniform while you slipped on one of your office outfits, your own uniform as Caleb likes to call it. You help him with his tie while he pushes your hair out of your face and flattens out the wrinkles of your shirt.

It’d be quiet while the two of you got ready. Usually, you’d be asking Caleb about his plans for the day and you’d share yours. The two of you would share hundreds of happy kisses and pecks on the cheek, always trying to sneak another one in before you have to leave. Now, though, the rooms are filled with a deafening silence, the echoes of your last giggles and shared whispers vanishing from existence.

Once at work, you’d part ways with a small wave, going through the front doors while he parked the car and went through his own entrance. When the two of you left for the day, he would pick you up right outside the building’s doors and drove to whoever’s apartment was called upon that day.

On the weekends, days that you had off, you would run out for groceries while he handed any Colonel business that needed his attention. Your phone dinged throughout the day, texts from Caleb asking you where you are and what you’re doing littering your phone screen. You always answered truthfully but your messages were dry, lacking any excited exclamation marks or funny emojis that would make the two of you giggle later that night.

While you folded laundry, your mind would drift out into space, the insecure thoughts from before floating into your consciousness, your fingers tightly gripping Caleb’s weathered DAA shirt.

The cloud that hangs above your head grows.

Some days, Caleb would stop by the translators sector just to see the smile on your face, but it was nowhere to be seen, your face stoic while you typed away on your computer. When your gazes met, your smile only lasted for a couple of seconds before it vanished, your boss stacking a tall pile of papers onto your desk.

You began to bring work home. Once your boss caught wind of your relationship with Caleb, they thought it would be poetic justice (or just plain bullying) to give you some more work for dating far above your rank and importance. Funnily enough, you began to miss Darryl and the shit he used to give you about being late. Caleb’s face always fell when you got into his car. His eyes would immediately latch onto the papers in your hands, watching as you struggled to piece together the dialect of a language you aren’t used to.

Caleb knew that those nights would end with you working until the moon is about to leave the night sky. He stayed up with you, though, and fell asleep with his chin on your shoulder while you sat on his lap. The low light of the lamp was enough to illuminate the page. You scribbled the deciphered language onto a blank page and yawned throughout the night, mentally exhausted beyond belief.

You weren’t too mad about the workload. It helped you avoid having tough conversations with Caleb. Instead, you helped him learn new words in languages he can barely understand, speaking to him in full sentences while he tried his best to ask you where the library is. It kept things lighthearted despite the two of you knowing that the current solution is a bandaid over a bullet hole.

“Do you want me to take the leftovers?” Your co-worker, Alivia, asks one day.

You stare at the box in front of you. Inside sits countless of papers and documents that are blacked out with only a few words here and there to decipher. A task like this would take you a week to complete and that’s is you pulled all nighters and lost a few hours of sleep.

A break, though? It sounds nice.

“That would be amazing, actually,” you breathe out, already feeling the weight and stress from Oliver’s last minute assignment slip off of your shoulders.

“Of course! You deserve a break too. It’s unfair how you always get the short end of the stick,” Alivia swipes the box off of your desk, placing it on her own. She glances at the clock on her desk and looks back to you. “Go home. I’ll cover you if he says anything. Just go and get some rest this weekend, okay?”

You nod, a genuine smile spreading across your face, and gather your belongings. There’s only a few more hours left of the work day but a break would be everything and more. Without looking back, you rush out of the doors and into the cool air.

The sky is dark, a rainstorm slowly coming in. The weather has been so unpredictable lately. Some days it is bright and sunny with high temperatures and the next it is thundering and raining, threatening to down the floating city. The wind chills your skin. You hug your jacket closer to your body, ready to find a taxi when your phone rings. You don’t even need to look at the caller I.D. to know who it is.

“Caleb,” you answer, teeth clattering from the cold wind, “what’s up?”

“Where are you going?” his voice is filled with concern with a hint of possessiveness. It make you shiver from just how quick he learns about your work life.

“Alivia told me to go home. I thought I’d go to your place and take a nap there. Your bed is better after all,” you add a chuckle to the end of your sentence. You know that it’ll disarm Caleb’s sudden protectiveness. You know him just as well as he knows you. “I can always go to my—”

“No! It’s okay. I could use a nap too,” Caleb chuckles over the phone but his laugh immediately dies when the door to his office opens. “What is it?” his voice is now muffled and you can hear him place the phone against the desk.

You sigh and walk away from the doors and towards the street. The phone is trapped between your ear and shoulder while you attempt to hail a taxi. Caleb’s Colonel voice comes out and you suddenly miss his happy tone. A gust of wind brushes past you, chilling you even more. Maybe this is Mother Nature’s way of telling you that you’re an ice cold bitch.

“I’ll have to see you later. I’m sorry, pretty bird,” Caleb sighs into the phone.

“That’s okay. Why don’t you bring home dinner? Let’s have a night in where we don’t do anything,” you calmly suggest, finally getting a taxi’s attention. The white car pulls up to the curb and you get inside, smiling at the driver, telling him the address.

“Are you sure? I can always cook something. Your favorite!” you hear him move things around on his desk.

“It’s okay. I’m craving that place you showed me anyways,” you shrug.

The world begins to move around you. The taxi slowly moves with traffic but you don’t care. You just need some time for yourself, to be alone and reset your body so you can get out of this funk and move on from the night of your friend’s wedding. It isn’t fair to you or Caleb to have something as silly as miscommunication hold you back from being happy together.

Well, you certainly thought it to be something you could easily get over. You never have been the best at guessing things like this.

When you enter Caleb’s apartment, your phone has been blown up with Caleb checking in on you, seeing if there was anything he can do to help you feel better or if he needed to leave work early. You texted back reassurances, the guilt of your resentment towards her and his relationship eating away at your conscience.

You laid in his bed, wearing one of his many oversized and comfortable shirts, and scrolled through your phone throughout the hours. It felt good to mindlessly scroll through stupid videos and read through peoples arguments over the stupidest things. Your mind was distracted and you didn’t think about the things that have been weighing you down.

You laugh at a video of penguins falling over. You cried at the video of a dog sitting at its owner’s grave. You save a recipe that you think Caleb would be great at making. You roll your eyes at some dude bro who thinks that a woman’s reproductive system looks like a satanic goat.

Hours pass you by and the sun sets in the distance, leaving the room in complete darkness except for the lamp that you turned on not too long ago. Its light is warm, very orange. It carries across the room, the blue light from your phone cutting through the orange with ease, the two colors splitting your face evenly. You roll to your other side in bed, plugging your phone in before it can die.

Engrossed in your own world, you don’t even notice Caleb walking inside the bedroom, already shrugging off his jacket, hanging it in the closet. He smiles at you. The sound of your quiet laughs and giggles make his heart feel full again. It brings a warmth to his chest, one he hasn’t felt in awhile, and begins to shed the skin of his Colonel persona.

“Whatcha laughin’ at, pretty bird?” Caleb asks, a smile on his face.

You gasp and sit up in bed, covering yourself with the dark gray and blue sheets of his bed. Once your eyes land on him, you relax and let out the tension that filled your lungs. Caleb laughs and slips on comfortable clothes, crossing the room and slipping underneath the covers beside you. In one fluid motion, Caleb scoops you up and onto his lap, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Ohhh, I see. You’re laughing at videos of baby animals. Very cute, very cute,” Caleb muses with a smile, nuzzling his face into the side of your neck. He gently presses kisses to your neck and you let out a quiet sigh, closing your eyes. “Did you sleep well?”

“I couldn’t,” you admit. You place your hands on top of Caleb’s, feeling all of your worries begin to slip away and out of your mind. “I think I need my boyfriend to help me.”

“Do you?” his tone is teasing yet is so smug at the same time. “Well, I’m here now aaaand I brought dinner.”

“Did you?” you ask with a smile. Caleb nods. You push him away from you and slip out of bed, the covers hindering your movement. Caleb laughs and watches as you scramble outside of the room and towards the kitchen where two white bags sit.

You open them up to reveal an immaculate sight: two big bowls of ramen accompanied by all of the side dishes imaginable. Caleb walks from behind and reattaches himself to your body. He leans into you, catching a glimpse of your smile.

For once, it’s genuine. It is the first smile, one that is real, that he has seen from you never since the wedding. A piece of him aches. He knows that you’ve been stuck on that day, that you haven’t been able to fully process or say what it is that you need and want to say. He’ll be there when you’re ready, though. He will never leave you to go through that alone, especially because some of your hidden anger is directed at him. Rightfully so, of course.

Neither of you bring it up. You eat dinner together and talk about Caleb’s day, even going as far as to see if you could translate a few documents for him one of these days.

It felt…nice. The temporarily relief from avoiding the elephant in the room. The two of you pretend it isn’t there, basking in the awkwardness of uncertainty and things left unsaid. Caleb smiles at you, you smile at him, and the two of you ignore the heavy raincloud that floats over your head. The counter you sit at looks more and more like an executioners block with the cloud ready to chop your heads off.

You watch as Caleb cleans up the dinner mess. He brushes all of the crumbs off of the counter and into the trash can, casually throwing away the plastic bags and bowls that came with the meal. You sit at the counter and watch, chin propped up on your hand as he moves around the kitchen with a relaxed grin on his face.

Guilt washes over you. His smile is so genuine, so pure and good. He’s smiling because of you and you’re sitting here pretending like you don’t want to yell and scream at him for not telling you anything. You want to grab his head and scream at him for making you feel so insignificant in the past and cry in his arms because there truly is no way for you to hate him.

All you see is man who is trying his best to play the game called life. Maybe you shouldn’t hold so much anger towards him and the people in your life. Maybe you should forgive but never forget.

“Why are you starin’ at me like that?” Caleb disappears from your vision.

You blink at nothing and feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you off of the stool and into his arms. You gasp and feel your legs dangle off of the ground, Caleb’s forearms wrapped around your stomach, holding you up. He leans backwards and pulls you back with him. He walks around, chuckling to himself, as you hang there, unable to do a damn thing to stop him. You cross your arms over your chest, already having accepted your fate, and watch as he carries you back to his bedroom.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Caleb kisses the back of your neck. He doesn’t give you time to answer, either, before jumping onto the bed, smushing you beneath him.

With a face full of mattress and Caleb’s full body weight keeping you trapped below him, you accept the bittersweet taste of your death: suffocation by smothering. You had a good run! You did a lot of things, which was fun, even got to date the man of your dreams for a bit there even though it has been angsty as hell so far. You wouldn’t change a thing about it!

Okay, maybe you would change a few things, but who’s really counting, anyways?

Caleb rolls onto his back, bringing you around with him. You dramatically gasp for air, body moving up down down as Caleb laughs. You place your hands on top of his and stare at the ceiling, not making an effort to move your hair out of his face.

“I’m tired,” you say. Caleb nods in agreement. “I think I’m going to sleep right here…”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. The mattress I’m on may be a bit lumpy—”

“Lumpy?!”

“—and it may smell like sweat and jet fuel—”

“Is this pick on Caleb day?”

“—but it’s comfortable enough for the night.”

“Oh, well, that’s good then,” Caleb squeezes his arms around you, literally taking the breath out of you, “because I just love it when I have my girlfriend’s hair in my face throughout the night. Truly splendid!”

You roll your eyes and try not to laugh, sucking in a deep breath when he releases you. You slip off of him and take your usual side in the bed, looking out the floor to ceiling windows. A small yawn leaves your mouth. Caleb adjusts himself behind you and pulls you close to him.

A silence finally falls between the two of you. Is it time? Are you ready to confront him? To ask him all of the questions that have died on your tongue before you got the chance to say them?

The dark rainclouds pass the windows, Caleb’s apartment building splitting the forces of nature with ease. You fixate on a particularly dark spot. It slowly passes by, taking its time to look back at you. If you didn’t know any better you’d think that a bolt of lightning would be shot at you as a punishment for all of the animosity that clings to your heart.

Caleb’s hand is warm against your skin. It stays at your stomach, gently caressing your skin, before it moves up between your breasts. He flattens his palm against your chest. He feels each and every one of your heartbeats. He feels as it quickens from his touch, giving away any kind of nonchalance you wanted to wear. His forearm remains stuck between your breasts. If he were to move his hand further up, he could choke you with ease.

“The clouds look cool,” your attempt at starting a new conversation doesn’t go unnoticed. You swallow the lump that forms in your throat. Caleb nods. You can feel his purple eyes watch you instead of the clouds. “I think you’re the one looking at me now.”

“We haven’t had much time together lately,” Caleb is quick to respond, “we’re busy people.”

“Are we?” you whisper to yourself. Caleb heard it, though. There truly is nothing you can keep from him.

A long sigh leaves his lips. You feel his forehead press into the back of your neck, his breath against your back. You shudder and place your hand on top of his. The clouds outside grow darker. Your eyes gloss over, the urge to cry hitting you like a train. You remain still, though, forever silent in your moment of doubt.

“Can we…” Caleb’s voice cracks. Your heart aches. You close your eyes, holding back frustrated tears. “Let’s not, tonight, okay? We were having such a good time.”

“Agreed,” you breathe out.

“Great,” Caleb pulls you closer to him, draping the bed’s sheets over your connected bodies.

It had been the first good night in awhile. Why would you want to spoil such a blessing with your own stupid thoughts and destructive behavior?

“It’s late, babe, let’s sleep,” your words fill in the silence. Caleb nods, yawning right on cue.

You know sleep will come easy for him with you in his arms. You also know, though, that sleep will continually tease you throughout the night, never letting you fully grasp it.

Caleb always looks stressed when he sleeps. You always thought that sleep was the great reliever, a place where every person can find solace after a long day of stress. Unfortunately for Caleb, it seems like even in sleep he cannot find peace. You can’t help but feel bad for him. He already goes through so much as the Farspace Fleet’s Colonel and deals with the undiscovered parts of the Deepspace Tunnel. You just wish that one day he will be able to sleep peacefully.

Even in the darkness of his bedroom, safely secured in his muscular arms, you can’t help but feel like Caleb is holding something back from you. The lingering feeling beckons at you, drawing you in closer and closer with the possibilities that there is an invisible barrier separating the two of you. Staring at the underlying tension in his brow makes you question what is going on inside his mind.

If you could, you would break open his skull to get to where his thoughts are hidden. You would dig through the blood and rip apart his brain, finding the locked away thoughts and memories that have been left unsaid, finally solving the mystery that keeps you up at night. You’d take away all of the bad memories and leave only the good for him to relive.

Then again, erasing someone’s memories is a cruel thing to do.

You slowly sit up in bed, his dark gray sheets pooling at your hips. Caleb immediately stirs in his sleep, eyes flying open and fixating on you. The moonlight is gentle against your skin as you gaze outside the window, curtains drawn open since you wanted to watch the clouds pass you by before you slept. There is a slight patter against the window. Raindrops collide with the reinforced glass, its quiet lullaby suddenly making you feel like you’re trapped inside a cage.

“Are you okay?” Caleb’s voice captures your attention. He remains in bed, the tips of his fingers already moving against your skin in a soothing manner.

“Yeah,” you nod, forcing a small smile onto your face, “I just woke up. Need to stretch out my body.”

Under the veil of darkness, Caleb memorizes the way your face twitches, picking up on the way your eyes remain on him despite your attention being elsewhere. There’s something in your eyes, a question that has been smothered on your tongue, hidden behind your teeth, never to escape.

Does he want to know what you’re thinking? What it is you are questioning now?

“Do you want to go for a walk?” your question surprises him.

He tilts his head back. Caleb’s purple eyes burn into yours, leaving your question unanswered. Tension slowly seeps into the air. You peel your eyes away from his and swing your legs over the edge of the bed, pushing away and heading towards the bathroom. Thunder booms from outside the window. Caleb sighs and covers his face with his hands. A quiet groan leaves his lips as he forces himself out of bed.

Ever since the wedding, things have been weird between the two of you. You had begun to pull away from him and Caleb was losing his mind, unsure of what he needed to do or say to make things right. You told him that you were fine, that you held no ill will.

Uncertainty and his fear of the unknown burned the back of his brain and it made him careless in his missions to the Deepspace Tunnel. People were injured and lives were on the line, but his mind could only think of you and the sad look that overtook your face whenever he looked away.

It’s the same look you wear on your face now. The bathroom lights are low, just barely awake as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Movement from behind you catches your attention. You look at Caleb’s reflection, watching as he settles himself against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. You suck in a breath.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Caleb’s voice has lost its rasp and the tiredness that hangs in his voice, “why are you wanting to go for a walk?”

“Can’t sleep,” you shrug nonchalantly and turn back towards the mirror, pushing your hair behind your ears and out of your face.

“What about work?”

“It’s the weekend so I’m off,” you avoid his gaze in the mirror, trying to wake up your body so it can keep up with your mind.

Caleb falls silent again. All he can bring himself to do is watch as you untangle the knots in your hair before drawing it back into a low bun, nothing special. When you turn to leave the bathroom, you turn into Caleb’s bare chest. You look up at him, noticing the shadowed bags under his eyes. You reach up and cup his cheek, the man immediately leaning into your touch.

“You should stay back and sleep,” your words are quiet.

He shakes his head. He reaches up and wraps his fingers around your wrist, pulling his face away from your touch. His touch isn’t warm but cold, his metal fingers hidden beneath its disguise. He gently kisses the palm of your hand, a gentle sigh escaping his lips. Your cheeks heat up but you fight away the feeling, not wanting him to persuade you to go back to bed, to rot next to him while you watch the clouds pass the cage that keeps you inside.

“Let’s walk,” Caleb matches your volume, his purple eyes flickering to yours before he drops your hand, turning around to get changed. You follow him, quick on his tail, and glance outside.

The rain slowly begins to pick up outside. Thunder and lighting grows closer. You approach the window, placing your hand against the chilled glass. The world below is shielding by a cloud.

“Maybe we should stay inside,” you say, eyes focused on trying to see the ground. Caleb groans, frustrated. Your body tenses and your posture stiffens. “The weather picked up.”

“Pretty bird,” you turn around and see Caleb, already in sweats and a jacket, “you just said—”

“I know, I’m sorry—”

“So you don’t want want to go on a—”

“—no we can! It’s just that the weather—”

“So now you don’t want to?”

“No! Yes! Fuck, I don’t even know anymore! Let’s go for a walk,” you push past him and reach for one of your hoodies that sits in a bag you packed not too long ago. Caleb stops you, though, and instead hands you one of his hoodies with a long sleeve shirt. You turn around and watch as he helps slip your shirt over your head, replacing it with the tight long sleeve and hoodie. Once the hood is brought over your head, his purple eyes flicker to yours.

“It’s cold,” he sharply says. He takes your hand and guides you out of the bedroom, entering the dark living room and kitchen areas. You struggle to keep up with his long strides, feet fumbling over each other. Caleb grabs an umbrella that sits by the door and exits the apartment, pulling you with him.

The small journey to the outside world is awkward and tense. Caleb’s grip on your hand is tight, annoyance prominent inside the tension in his jaw, the way it’s clenched as he guides you through his apartment building. The yellow interior lights are easy on your eyes and are dim enough to keep the outside world dark, avoiding any kind of light pollution it may have. A single person works in the lobby, sitting at the desk while you and Caleb pass to leave.

“Hey!” they call out, “The weather is pretty rough—!”

“We know!” Caleb and you bark at the person in sync.

Caleb presses the button next to the lobby door and it slides open, a gust of wind hitting the two of you just as you exit. You slip the umbrella from his hand and open it, holding it out for him. He watches you with a close eye, the wind pushing around your hair, the tip of your nose already cold. He takes the umbrella and laces your fingers with his, weathering the storm together as you male your way to a dimly lit path nearby.

You wrap an arm around Caleb’s torso and stay close to him, face smushed into his chest. Raindrops fly with the wind, smacking against the material of the umbrella. It shields the two of you the best it can. Caleb picks up his pace and you’re practically jogging at his side.

“Caleb!” you shout over the sound of rain and wind. He doesn’t look down, simply walking through the rough weather as if it’s nothing.

Just a couple meters away sits a lit gazebo that sits in the middle of courtyard that’s right beside Caleb’s building. The rows of flowers try to fight against the wind, hanging on by the strength of the plant’s stem, a few petals flying away. Once you reach the gazebo, you push away from Caleb, turning your back to him. He drops the umbrella and it slides across the floor to where your feet are.

“Tell me,” Caleb begins, his voice raised to be over the howling wind, “what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything,” you counter. The flower bushes that surround the gazebo hit and scrape against the wood. The petals threaten to fly off of the stems, getting lost in the wind. The dark rainclouds descend towards the ground, placing you and Caleb in the middle of its destructive force.

“Bullshit. There’s something going on inside that head of yours. You barely smile anymore and you always bring work home! There’s no time for us anymore!” Caleb walks closer to you. He looks at the back of your head, your hair dry and his hood damp. You don’t even turn to face him, which only annoys him some more. “We haven’t had sex—”

“So this is about sex!?” you snap, finally turning around to look at him. The wind screams from around you. “You’re worried about getting your dick wet again, right? Want me to get down on my knees and suck your dick? Will that make you feel better?!”

“No! Dammit! That’s not—” Caleb groans and pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, “that’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“Then what is it, Caleb? Hm? Are you actually worried about me,” you poke his chest, knowingly poking the bear, “or are you just trying to cover your back so this doesn’t blow up on you at the end of the day?”

“What are you talking about?!” Caleb raises his voice to combat the thunder that sounds from around the gazebo. You roll your eyes and turn your attention to the world over his shoulder, looking at the environment get beaten up by the storm.

The dark raincloud that once hung above your head has touched land. It has finally decided that the apple tree, something that managed to grow in the rough terrain of your heart, deserves water. It deserves to have its thirst quenched, to let the cold water touch the dry, green leaves, to moisten the ground that surrounds it.

Truth and honesty are ideals that every relationship should have. It is the fertilizer within the soil that many apple trees like your own are buried in. You forgot that step, didn’t you?

“What did I do? Did Zayne say something to you at the wedding?” Caleb steps towards you but you take a step backwards, your ankle meeting the wood of the gazebo’s railing.

You scoff and look away, crossing your arms over your chest. Even the thought of looking into his eyes makes you feel nothing but dread and utter devastation. Caleb’s back stiffens. His purple eyes run up and down your body; you give him all of the telltale signs that he’s right and that you’re hiding something from him.

Caleb steps forward, trapping you. You look up at him with big and wide eyes. He’s the predator that’s just caught his prey, your pretty little face begging for mercy. He can go easy on you, sure, let you slip out of the net he’s caught you in. You can recover from your mistake by peppering kisses all over his face. He’ll forget all of the misgivings that have been through his way, he can forgive the fact that you believed something that Zayne said instead of asking him directly about it.

“What did he say?” Caleb’s voice teeters between desperation and being demanding. He lowers his head, his purple eyes training on yours with a darkness you haven’t seen before. Your body goes cold. Goosebumps scatter across your skin. “Tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you breathe out, your breath coming out in the form of a plume. “What Zayne said doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly, it does,” Caleb places his hands on the wooden railing behind you. His nose grazes against yours. Your breaths mix into one. You close your eyes, unable to look at him. He presses in further, his body against yours, demanding and present. “Tell me.”

“He said that you’ve been texting her the whole time,” Caleb’s body tenses against yours while you speak, “he said that I will forever be second place in your heart. That you’ll always go to her her first rather than find me. That I don’t deserve you.”

Caleb slowly draws himself away from you. His eyes go dark, cold. The space between you feels like no man’s land, a place where neither of you want to meet in the middle. His tall frame dominates yours, towering over you with ease and with an unspoken authority over you. You are at his mercy.

“Go on,” he says in a low tone.

“Zayne said he loves me. He always has. That I haven’t been able to see it because I’ve been so preoccupied with you,” you continue.

Hurt flashes across his face when you say the word love, a word that he thought he had full control over when it comes to you. Jealousy spreads across his chest. You fall silent. Thunder booms from behind you. Neither of you react.

“What did you say back to him?” Caleb narrows his eyes at you.

“I said that him and I are alike,” you force the words to fall out of your mouth. Caleb’s eyebrow perks up. “We both love someone who will never be able to fully love us back.”

A bitter taste spreads across Caleb’s tongue. Looking down at you, he can see the defiance and hurt in your eyes. You are trying so hard to hold it together, to not cry and break from underneath the pressure. Your walls slowly reinforce themselves, the workers inside your mind resuming construction as you build them taller than you have before. They are now covered with a fresh layer of ice, closing out any warmth that you were once able to find within Caleb’s embrace.

“How about you, Caleb?” your voice is strong against the howls and cries of the wind. The screams from gusts of air don’t dissuade you. You remain strong in your path, knowing that at the end, only destruction will be left. “Is there anything that you wish to tell me?”

Caleb tears his gaze away from yours. The dark gray clouds cover the moon, taking up the entire night sky. The umbrella he brought out hits the wooden perimeter, clicking every couple of seconds, ticking away the time. He moves to the gazebo’s entrance, wanting to walk down the few steps and escape into the night, to get away from the conversation that slowly chips away at your relationship and individual sanities.

“What are you hiding from me?” you ask from behind. His broad shoulders stare at you, his back mocking. You can’t help but feel like you’re being laughed at, being teased for the way you feel. You tried to look past the revelation that Zayne gifted to you, brushing it off as nothing but a simple misdirection to throw you off your rhythm but now, standing here and watching Caleb begin to pull away from you, it feels like Zayne had been right the whole time.

You’re even second place when it comes to figuring out the truth, a third and unwanted person in a relationship that doesn’t even involve you.

“Talk to me, Caleb!” your voice is drowned out by thunder. Caleb turns around and his purple eyes immediately go to your fists that are balled at your sides. Your nails bury themselves into the palms of your hands. The pain is a nice distraction from the confusion in your mind. The thunder sounds like bombs are being dropped. “I told you the truth, why can’t you do the same?!”

“That’s not fair,” Caleb shakes his head, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“Isn’t it?” you huff out a breath of air, crossing the distance to stand in front of him. “Do you know what it is like to sleep at your side, Caleb?” your voice cracks, “Do you know what it is like to have to hold you at night when you have another nightmare?”

“Pretty bird,” Caleb breathes your name out like it is a prayer.

“You cry in your sleep, Caleb. You cry and you hold onto me as if someone is going to take me away from you! You always avoid answering me question when I ask you what’s wrong and you never take me up on your offer to talk about it!” Tears begin to flow down your cheeks, bottom lip trembling. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head! I don’t know how I can help you or what I need to do to stop the nightmares! I hate seeing you in pain! I hate hearing you cry as soon as I leave the bed!”

Your hands fly to your face and your fingers begin to furiously wipe your tears away. Caleb reaches out to console you but you smack his hands away, placing a good amount of distance between the two of you.

“You cry out her name, Caleb!” you scream the words over the wind and thunder. Lightning flashes across the night sky, thunder immediately cracking after. The loud boom makes your ears ring. “You cry out her name when I’m right next to you! That’s how I know I’m second place! That’s how I know you are hiding something from me! And it fucking hurts to know that I will never be able to see that side of you. I feel so helpless when it comes to you, Caleb! You have all of the answers when it comes other than me and yet I barely know a thing about what happened!”

“I…” Caleb stammers, his voice falling silent. “I can—”

“Explain?” you cut him off. He blinks at you, his eyes now glossy. “Go ahead, Caleb. Explain. I’ll wait.”

“You know I can’t,” Caleb’s voice is low and is filled with such shame that it makes you want to scream and cry.

The raincloud has drowned the tree. Its soil, which was once too dry, is now diluted from the weight of history and purposefully hidden memories. The water level rises above the ground. The tree is now submerged beneath the water, unable to catch a break in the unpredictable weather cycle.

You suck in a breath, the back of your hand flying to your mouth, covering it. Hidden secrets and questions are now out in the open. They taunt Caleb, snickering at the pain that flashes across his chest. He stares at the back of your head, watching as your shoulders slump over, your body succumbing to the sadness that weighs you down.

“Maybe we…”you breathe out. Caleb’s eyes fill with tears. He clears the distance between you and takes your hands in his, shaking his head.

“Don’t…don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Caleb silences you. the man reaches up and wipes away the tears that fall from your eyes. He shakes his head but you nod, looking into his irritated eyes.

“I need a break,” you finish your thought.

“No, you don’t. We can work through this!”

“I’m tired Caleb,” you sigh.

“I am too but that’s okay!”

“I need to clear my head.”

“Tell me what to do then. Tell me what exactly you need me to do for you to come back to me. What is it? Please, pretty bird, I…I can’t be away from you!”

“Caleb,” you stop him. You hold his hands and squeeze them, unable to bring yourself to look at him. Not now, at least. “I need to be alone.”

It looks like Caleb was just shot ten times and was told to walk it off. He has been shot, has survived an explosion, has been stabbed before, sliced from another man’s knife while working. He was gone through watching his fellow soldiers fall, their planes being shot down during a dog fight. He has been experimented on, picked apart by Ever and Professor Lucius. He has had his memories ripped away from him, hidden in the depths of his mind, and is clinging to the remnants of what is left.

And yet you wanting to be alone, to be away from him, is the one thing that hurts the most.

A single tear rolls down his cheek, eyes strained and hands holding onto yours like you are about to step out of his life forever.

“I-I can’t,” Caleb stammers. His trembling voice pierces your heart.

Are you a bad person? It sure feels like you are. How could you put him through so much turmoil? And yet, how dare he hide his past life with her from you? He has had the chance to explain, to tell you why they will forever be connected until the end of their lives, but he hasn’t. Caleb has remained silent, only offering apologies and pleas for you to not leave him instead of an explanation.

Perhaps truth and honesty are not fertilizer. Maybe they are sharp axes ready to chop the tree down, to destroy all of the progress that you have made. It is a weapon that only threatens to smother the spark that once shined so brightly between you and Caleb.

“A break can be a good thing,” you try to reason with him, “gives us time to realize what is important in our lives. It can give us direction—”

“You are the most important thing in my life,” Caleb interrupts. He captures your cheeks between his hands, making you look up at him. “Don’t do this…please. At least stay the night, sleep on it, and we can talk about it in the morning, okay?”

Caleb’s purple eyes burn into yours. The wind pushes his hair out of his face, his lips slightly chapped from the wind. His cheeks are stained from tears just like yours and his hands tremble against your skin. You slowly inhale, the ice cold wind helping cool your body down from the heat of your anger. A lump forms in your throat.

“Okay,” you breathe out, nodding, “I need to be alone, though. I’ll stay out here for just a bit longer.”

“I’ll stay with you—”

“Just go back inside, Caleb,” you pull away from him and cross your arms over your chest, stepping away. You wipe away your tears, knowing that what you are telling him is nothing but a white lie, “I’ll be up there soon.”

You need to do what you do best. Run away. Hide. Pretend as if your world isn’t falling apart from around you and give yourself the time to be a broken person before returning to the face of the earth.

And Caleb? Caleb is the fool who believes you.

He comes up from behind and hug you. It’s a small gesture that rips your heart apart. It makes you drive the knife into his chest even deeper, the hilt of the blade now pressed against his chest.

Then he’s gone. He walks through the ravenous rain on his own and even left the umbrella behind for you to use. Just as he steps through the apartment doors, you stop a cab and get inside, heading for your home.

Bzzrt. Bzzrt. Bzzrt.

Your phone shimmies across the top of your desk. You stare at it, eyes tired with purple eye bags sunken into your skull. The phone stops for a brief moment. A sigh exits your mouth, closing your eyes. The buzzing begins again.

You know exactly who the messages are from. You know exactly what it is that they say and you don’t even want to waste the time and energy to check. You’ll get the same messages later tonight as well then the whole process will repeat itself in the morning.

You would be lying to yourself, though, if you said you didn't miss the way he hugged and kissed you in the morning.

Caleb was not handling the break well, like, at all. He was a mess. He knew that he shouldn’t have left your side that night. A piece of him know that you were going to run away, just like you did in high school and at the wedding. You would call it a calculated retreat whereas Caleb would call it a surrender.

You avoided him at work, which he respected. It didn’t stop him, though, from driving behind the bus you took to and from work, watching as you moved in and out of your apartment so he knows that you’re safe. Caleb also kept tabs on you at work, watching you through the security cameras as you smiled and laughed with other people. People who aren’t him.

Caleb passed you in the hallways of the Farspace Fleet’s Administrative building. Your eyes always met, even if it were just for a second, and it gave Caleb the motivation he needed to stay string, to let you come to him. He knows that if he were to bombard you, it’d only make you want to run further away, back into Linkon where he lives.

Caleb used up all of your sticky notes during the time you stayed away from him. He left you notes on your desk, telling you that you looked beautiful that day and that he misses you. Some of them even asked if you were ready to talk to him, to have dinner and let him explain what he’s been trying to protect you from.

You always said no. A simple text that ended with his colorful sticky notes being crushed under your fist, tossed into the trash for the janitor to take out later in the night.

It’s okay, though, if it is space you need, he will give you space. If you need to take a moment for yourself and realize that he has all of the answers you need, the truth that you crave, then so be it. He will not be the one who stops you.

Well, that is what he told himself to feel better about the whole situation.

He knows that it is not fair to you to keep you in the dark about his and her’s past with Ever. The wounds, though, still feel fresh to him from his early childhood. He works with one of the men in charge of his experimentation, playing a game of cat and mouse to see who can outmaneuver the other. It’s a game that, quite frankly, he’s grown tired of but knows that the end will never come.

Caleb wants to tell you all about it. He wants to unload the weight of turning you away from the darkest parts of his past and mind. He also doesn’t want you to try and carry that burden with him, to try and alleviate some of the pain that heel feels everyday. He already lives with the constant remind of his metal arm, his bones forever trapped underneath the layers of wires and metal. He has sacrificed so much already to not let the professor and Ever win…it’s why he won’t let you near it.

It pains him to know that you are out in the world and are completely on your own. He should be there to help you, to stop you from making any mistakes. It’s why he has waited so long for you. He let the days pass him by, allowing time to slip through his fingers.

He acted like he was fine, that he was okay. He pretended that he got a full night’s worth of sleep even though he stared out the window, hoping that you would walk through the doors at any moment.

He stares at you through the CCTV footage, wondering if you have come to realize that you hold the leash that’s connected to his dog collar. You stand from your desk, phone in hand, and exit the translator’s offices. He follows you throughout the building. You cross down a few hallways, staring at your phone screen. You press the button to an elevator and step inside.

Caleb sits up at his desk. The see through tablet remains in his hands as he stands. He slowly walks towards his office door, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes as he clicks through the multiple different feeds, trying to find you. It is only when he notices that you have come to his floor that he realizes that you are coming to find him.

The Colonel rushes to his desk, placing the tablet in the top drawer of his desk. He places his cap on his head, fixing his ling jacket in the reflection of the window, making for sure everything is in place and is perfect because he refuses to give you anything less than. Not anymore, at least.

There is a knock at his office door. He clears his throat and snaps his fingers, a hologram projection of the Deepspace Tunnel flashing to life. He glances towards the door and tightens his tie one last time.

“Come in,” he beckons with a slightly gentler tone than usual.

Caleb does not look in your direction, instead focusing on the projection in front of him. When the door closes and he hears the click of your shoes grow closer to him, he turns, taking in your tired appearance. He opens his mouth to say something but can’t bring himself to say it. He knows that you have already chastised yourself for it. There is no need for him to add to that grievance.

“Hi, pretty bird,” Caleb is the first to speak. You lean against his desk, looking around the clean office. When your eyes meet his, your body relaxes before tensing up once again.

“Caleb,” you breathe out, crossing your arms over your chest, “you need to stop texting me.”

“Why? I want to make for sure that—”

“I”m okay?” you finish his sentence for him. He nods and inches closer to you. He reaches out, his gloved hand diverting at the last second to rest on the desk beside you. You shudder from his sudden closeness, his familiar cologne disarming your weapons. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m afraid that I will never not worry about you,” Caleb whispers. He looks down, noticing the way you hold onto yourself for dear life. His eyes flicker to yours, leaning in. He reaches up and grazes your cheek with his gloved fingers.

You suck in a breath. His touch is electrifying against your skin, igniting flames under your skin, burning with the desire to hold him in your arms and to cry together.

“The General offered me a job,” your words cause his hand to move away from your face, “I think I’m going to take it.”

Caleb knows exactly what the General’s job is. He has been granted permission, alongside Ever, to meet with other countries and discuss the Toring Chip. Many of the countries they are going to speak the languages that you just happen to know and are proficient in. If Caleb didn’t know any better, he would have thought that the General specifically made the job positing with you in mind after the peace summit.

The trip is going to take approximately four months to complete, spending a hefty amount of time in every country, meeting with their leaders and the highest ranking officials in their army. There was sure to be talks outside of the Toring Chip. Minerals, weapons, peace treaties, and alliances are sure to be talked about with you in the center of it all.

Caleb offered to go. He immediately contacted the General and told him that if he needed an extra man, that he is there to help. The General laughed and told him not to worry, that he already has plenty of men coming alongside him and to focus on the Deepspace Tunnel instead of unimportant politics.

Chills run down Caleb’s spine. You look up at him with a determined look in your eyes but Caleb knows that there is something inside your consciousness that is pushing you to run away from him. He wishes that you would have looked the other way when the General offered you the position.

“It’s a great opportunity for me, Caleb,” you breathe out, already sensing the underlying anxiety that forms in the back his mind. “It will give them the chance to see that I am more than a desk job…”

“You don’t need their validation for that,” Caleb quickly counters. “You are more than this entire building. You’re better than them. You don’t need to prove anything.”

“What else can I do? It’s either translating for the Fleet or teaching languages in school,” you suck in a breath, your tone sharp, “I’m stuck where I am and this is going to get me out of it.”

“Then let me take care of you. Stay with me, don’t go with them,” he places his hands on your waist.

“You’re acting like I’m going to be gone forever,” you let out a small laugh, placing your hands on his chest, “it’s just four months.”

“A lot can happen in four months,” Caleb’s gaze burns into yours.

“What are you so afraid of?” your question is bold and daring. “Don’t lie. I think we’ve done enough of that lately.”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Caleb breathes the words out as if they are powerful enough to hurt you. “I think that if you accept the job, it will worsen our relationship and push us further apart than we already are.”

His words, while sharp, hold his truth. A piece of you knows that what he’s saying is true, that if you were to leave your relationship won’t recover. The space would have become too much. The distance just unbearable.

Are you doing this on purpose? Are you purposefully ruining the only good thing in your life?

You swallow the rest of your spit in your mouth, looking up at Caleb. He sighs and presses his forehead against yours. You close your eyes, taking in his closeness and the way his skin feels against yours. Caleb leans in and pecks your mouth, his lips lingering for a few seconds.

“I love you. Please, don’t go,” Caleb whispers.

Silence fills the room. He silently draws in a breath, eyes closed as he waits for your answer.

“Okay,” you whisper, “I won’t go. For us.”

A smile instantly spreads across Caleb’s lips. He pulls you off of the desk and into his arms, kissing the top of your head as you bury your face into his chest. His heartbeat comes to a slow, the adrenaline rush leaving his body. You relax into him, missing how tight his embraces always are. He pulls away and looks down at you, cupping your cheeks between his hands.

“Thank you,” Caleb says. You nod in return, a small smile forming on your face before it disappears.

“I should go tell him my decision, then,” you peel away from Caleb, your hands lingering on each other. He nods and watches as you move back to the door, an unsettling feeling resting in the back of his mind the further you get from him. “Can I…come over tonight?” You ask as you reach the door. “We have a few things to talk about.”

“Of course,” Caleb nods, “I’ll make your favorite for dinner.”

“That sounds nice,” your smile turns real. It makes Caleb’s heart skip a beat. You open up the door to his office and leave, heading down the hall from which you came.

Caleb is happy that you agreed to stay. He will make for sure that life is not boring for you, to help you shimmy up the ladder among your fellow translators. Whatever it is that he needs to do, he’ll make sure it happens. He will do anything for you and your happiness, even if it means blackmailing a few Fleet officers to make for sure you get the best jobs possible instead of being stuck at your desk.

His skin tingles. A sharp pain flashes through his modified arm. His purple eyes move back to the door, the General’s voice creeping into his head. He remembers his phone call with the high ranking official, trying to weave through the conversation to find what it is he needs.

“We’ll take good care of her,” the General told him from over the phone before he hung up.

We’ll take good care of her.

Caleb freezes.

The Toring Chip…four months…different countries…Ever has different buildings in different countries, Caleb knows this first hand from being one of the professor’s favorites.

The job targeted you.

He stares at the door, his heart beginning to pound inside his chest. He forces his feet to move, rushing towards the door. He bursts through, catching the attention of a few adjuncts and lower ranking officers. He stops a secretary from walking by, looking down at them.

“The General. Is he on location today?” Caleb demands, his purple eyes cold and dark.

“Y-Yes! I think his plane is about to take off!” the woman quickly responds, scared by Caleb’s dark demeanor.

The Colonel doesn’t waste another second. He rushes towards the elevator, pressing the button that leads to the tarmac on the top of the building where the General and other officials come in and out of. His boot taps against the floor. The elevator smells of your perfume. It only makes him more anxious.

The elevator doors slide open, a gust of wind hitting Caleb’s face as he bursts out of the door. He shields his eyes from the glaring sun, noticing that there are one too many clouds in the sky for comfort. He rushes across the black top, the soles of his shoes scraping against the coarse material.

Am aircraft’s engine roars to life. The machine whirrs, huffing out bursts of hot air and exhaust from the engines. The sound captures Caleb’s attention. His eyes focus on a few dark figures inside the aircraft. Professor Lucius stands inside, leaning into his cane. On either side of him stands two Fleet soldiers, guns in their hands. They look down at the aircraft’s open door.

You and the General stand in front of each other. Your back is to Caleb. The Professor’s eyes move to focus on the Colonel, who stands from across the tarmac. A sick smirk spreads across his face. The General smiles at you, though, and he nods, turning around before moving back up the ramp of the plane. You turn around.

Your eyes meet Caleb’s. You are just about to take a step towards him when the two soldiers who stand beside Professor Lucius move.

They walk towards you.

Caleb begins to run, his feet slamming against the ground. He watches as your face contorts from pain, your hadn’t shooting up to your neck where a syringe was just plunged into your skin. You wobble around, looking at the soldiers before circling around once again.

Caleb screams your name but it is muffled out from the screams of jet engines and planes. Your vision blurs, hand extended out, reaching for him, before your world turns to black, body going limp. A solider picks you up and carries you inside of the plane. The aircraft’s door slowly closes, clicking shut just as Caleb reaches its vicinity.

The aircraft pulls out of its spot. It rolls down the black asphalt, pulling away from Caleb. The plane picks up speed and lifts into the air just as it reaches the edge of the building. Caleb sprints after it, fighting against the gusts of wind from the engines. He uses his Evol to glide through the air, reaching out for you and the plane. He flies across the sky, a mere black speck compared to the aircraft.

But it’s too late. You and the aircraft are out of his reach, disappearing behind fluffy white clouds, out of Caleb’s reach.

please drop a like, reblog, & comment!! i love see what you all have to say <3

#caleb x reader #caleb x non!mc reader #caleb love and deepspace #lads caleb #caleb angst #caleb x fem reader #caleb x you #caleb xia #love and deepspace #caleb x y/n #love and deepspace fic #xia yizhou #love and deepspace caleb angst #lads angst #rcvcgers writings #rotten apples ❦︎

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daydreamgoddess14 · 1 month ago

Note

Bucky Barnes + meet ugly + florist AU 🩵

Say it with Flowers

Em, I didn't know I needed florist!Bucky in my life - or how much fun it was to write a meet ugly! Thank you so much! 💕

Florist AU!Bucky x Reader

Read on AO3

Warnings: none, just some petty arguing and fluff

Word Count: 554

1000 Followers Ficlet Masterlist

Masterlist

The bell above the flower shop door slammed against the frame as you shoved it open.

"Hey! Which one of you idiots thinks it’s funny to tell my mother to get a divorce?!"

Bucky looked up from trimming roses, scowling immediately. "Jesus, lady, you trying to bust the door off its hinges? Calm down."

"Calm down?!” You rounded on him furiously, “my mother is in tears because someone here thought it was hilarious to write 'Congrats on the divorce, enjoy your freedom!' on the card I got her for her retirement!"

"Look, I don’t know what kind of keyboard-mashing you did online, but that’s not my fault."

You stared at him, jaw dropped. "Excuse me?! I didn’t screw it up, you did! Are you always this incompetent, or did you make a special effort today?"

"Wow," Bucky snorted, tossing his clippers down. "You come in here like a hurricane and think you can talk to me like that? Maybe if you’d double-checked your order, you wouldn’t be yelling at people who are actually working."

"Oh, please," you shot back. "Working? It’s floristry not a nuclear bomb!"

He raised an eyebrow, stepping closer, wiping his hands on his apron.

Finally pausing for breath, you actually looked at him and immediately regretted it.

Your face flushed hot. You were half sure you might actually explode.

He was impossibly handsome, and judging by the smirk on his face and your fury that had suddenly fizzled and turned to fluster, he knew it.

"You know what?” You wound up again, refusing to let him distract you, “I should have gone to that chain florist. At least they don’t employ jackasses with attitude problems!"

"Yeah, good luck with that," he sneered. "Why don’t you storm in there and ruin their day?"

You opened your mouth to spit out another retort, but he shoved a form at you instead.

"Here. Write down exactly what you want this time. I’ll fix it. But you better believe I’m putting a service fee on this time."

Your hand trembled as you snatched the pen. "I cannot believe this. You are the worst."

"Trust me, doll," he said with a vicious smirk, leaning on the counter. "I’ve been called worse by scarier people than you."

With one eye on the form, you pulled out your phone with the intention of finding out who was really at fault. At the same time, you could see him opening the order log on the laptop that sat on the counter next to him.

“I didn’t mention it was a retirement bouquet,” you muttered just as he sighed,

“Huh. I might’ve taken the “enjoy your freedom” a step too far.”

“I probably should’ve been more specific.” You admitted eyes dropping to the incomplete form.

“And I should’ve called to confirm,” he concurred, scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

You didn’t catch the rest - too busy getting distracted by the taut muscle of his bicep.

He caught your gaze, and a slow, infuriatingly smug grin spread across his face.

“How about I take you to dinner to make up for it? You can yell at me over pasta instead of roses.”

You tried to summon another insult, but the words died on your tongue - and he looked far too pleased to see you lost for words.

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suzukiblu · 2 months ago

Text

WIP excerpt for Cheshire behind the cut; "think pink", a.k.a "Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it". This man knows what he's about, friends; we can't judge him for that. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“I’m going to go find more towels,” Tim says abruptly, then turns around without lifting his head and heads towards the bathroom. It is . . . not especially illuminating, Kon’s gonna go with? Yeah, no; definitely not all that illuminating.

“Uh . . .” He looks after Tim, then glances back at Bernard, who’s very obviously barely repressing laughter. “Are there towels I am not aware of on this boat? I really don’t remember there being that many towels on this boat.”

“There are not, no,” Bernard says. “At least not the last time I did laundry, anyway.”

“You do each other’s laundry?” Kon asks, not really sure what he thinks about that.

“Technically I’ve done your laundry now too, if you were actually wondering where your clothes are and count, you know, the sheets and everything else we fucked into filth,” Bernard says with a shrug and a dismissive wave of his hand. Kon thinks if Tim does not actually marry this dude, he is never gonna forgive him for fumbling this one.

“That’s actually disgustingly domestic of you, man,” he says. Bernard grins at him again, then reaches up and pinches one of his cheeks.

“Look, if you’re gonna be busy being fucking adorable all weekend, I gotta channel my cuteness aggression somewhere,” he counters reasonably. “So like my options were domestic chores or fucking you awake and that one seemed rude since we didn’t talk about that kind of thing when we did our quickie negotiations.”

Kon briefly considers the idea of waking up feeling either Bernard or Tim already inside him and then wonders exactly how cold Tim’s shower gets. Probably not cold enough to let him have a normal response to that idea, yeah.

Goddamn invulnerability.

“I mean, like–I wouldn’t have complained,” he says, trying to at least sound normal about it.

He kinda does not sound normal about it, yeah.

“Right, well, that’s a core memory now,” Bernard mutters under his breath. “Good to know.”

Kon laughs, feeling his face flush redder again. Just . . . goddamn, that’s flattering. Like–Bernard says a lot of flattering shit, is all. And Kon’s used to joking around with people a lot, even while he’s flirting them up, but usually the people he’s joking around with aren’t using the opportunity the way Bernard’s been. Like–usually it’s like the teasing and ribbing and roasting kind of joking, but Bernard’s been being, like . . .

Flattering, again.

Being–complimentary, basically.

It’s kinda weird, getting talked up like that. Joking and flirting, yeah, but also like . . . he doesn’t know. Pink kryptonite-themed supervillainy and club jackets and jokey future fantasies and custom sex toys and . . .

Bernard really does keep doing that, doesn’t he. Like–getting teased by Bernard’s been the literal opposite of getting roasted, really.

So just . . . flattering, yeah.

Tim does, in fact, come back with more towels, which Kon is not convinced he didn’t steal from a neighbor via Bat-drone or something just to have an excuse to cover for whatever that whole “ngh” thing a minute ago was over. Like, that would just be a very “Tim” kind of solution to that kind of thing, is all.

“Where did those even come from, babe?” Bernard asks, wrinkling his nose. “Are those even yours?”

“Yes,” Tim says with literally zero tells or signs of lying.

So like, he’s definitely lying, yeah.

“Uh-huh,” Kon says, raising his eyebrows at him. Tim continues to show absolutely zero sign of lying or any hint of guilt or shame or hesitation.

“Shower’s ready,” he says.

“Did you buy those?” Bernard asks incredulously. “I–how, babe?!”

“God, you’re such a fucking weirdo, Rob,” Kon says, and really cannot keep himself from sounding like a fond fucking dumbass about it. The fact he can think of like six different ways Tim would buy some weird random thing he needed for whatever weird random purpose just off the top of his head does not make him feel any less like a fond fucking dumbass, though.

This absolute friggin’ nerd, for frick’s sake.

“I have no idea what either of you are talking about,” Tim says. “Which of you wants first shower?”

Kon glances reflexively towards Bernard, who just shrugs.

“Up to you, buddy, you’re the guest here,” he says.

“Uh,” Kon says, and then has the very weird experience that is not actually being able to decide if he wants something as basic as the first shower or not. Like–not even in the sense of feeling like he needs to pick “right” or whatever, just . . . like, there’s kinda just . . .

Like it’s just–not working, is all. Which, like . . . what the fuck?

Kon tries to make his stupid useless brain work, or at least make his stupid mouth say–something, even just “sure” or “whatever’s good” or “naw, you pick” or even fucking “rock paper scissors you for it?” or . . . just, like–just anything, at this point.

And Tim . . . tilts his head a little.

“Mm,” he says, his eyes tracking something across Kon’s face that makes Kon immediately regret having a face and also makes him immediately want to stick said face in Tim’s face. “We really have been scening a lot, haven’t we.”

“Uh . . . kinda, I guess,” Kon says, still feeling–weird, kind of. Just . . . like the thoughts just won’t connect, or like he’s forgotten how to just . . . how to . . .

He doesn’t know. Just–like he’s forgotten something, kinda.

Which, yeah, forgetting something is totally a thing that Kon is cool and good and fine with doing and feeling and not at all freaked-out by or–

“Why don’t we let Bernard go first, then,” Tim says less like a question and more like an order, and that whole stupid useless brain that’s been refusing to work in Kon’s head just immediately rolls over and goes belly-up and bares its throat and wants Tim to pet it, ideally with Robin’s gloves on. So that’s, like, a thing.

And it’s specifically a thing that really clears out Kon’s stupid useless thoughts, because it immediately feels like every single smoldering ember of anxiety and uncertainty and weird stupid senseless bullshit just waiting to flare up somewhere in there just went out all at once, easy as blowing out a candle.

Yeah. That’s really a fucking thing.

#timberkon #timkon #timbern #konbern #kon el #conner kent #bernard dowd #tim drake #superboy #dc robin #wip: think pink #dom/sub #cheshire

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sleepingdeath-superlight · 2 months ago

Text

s/o with a crude, brash, and confident personality hcs ; assorted windbreaker characters

‘I was wondering if you could make a scenario or a headcanon is thats whats it's called but anyways could you make a windbreaker ( with all the Bofurin characters especially with choji and Togame ) having a girlfriend reader! who's personality is like [the title]’

choji / sakura/ suo / togame / umemiya x female ! reader insert

i altered the original request a bit here for two reasons. one because i have never seen the series used as a reference for the reader’s personality in the ask (and from what i can tell it would not be very conducive to this blog’s fluff-only theme). and two because the original requester asked for every character and there are tagging limits so… this is all i’ve got for now lol

requested by anonymous

Choji Tomiyama

tomiyama is your number one enabler and the king of making things so much worse for everyone involved — yes it’s funny, but also just because he’s able to win a fight against the other person doesn’t mean he should be encouraging you to keep on antagonising them

finds you and your antics very amusing — even when they’re directed at him. like as long as you’re still making him laugh and keeping things interesting he couldn’t care less about whatever jabs you make about his height or whatever

prior to his fight with umemiya and his big realisation, he probably encouraged you to redirect your more cruel and rude remarks towards the weakest members of shishitoren before their ‘skinning’ and exile

views you as an extremely ‘free’ person because of how confident and brash you are with others — your willingness to be loud and offensive, your insistence on taking up space, is to tomiyama a sign of how free you are and is probably what drew him to you in the first place

matches your energy more often than not and so it’s usually up to togame to rein you both in and get you under control where it counts — because there are times where they as a group cannot afford to start a physical altercation on their leader’s girlfriend’s behalf

Hajime Umemiya

oh dear… well as the old saying goes: ��opposites attract’!

umemiya tends to take what you say with a grain of salt and is happy to laugh along with the jokes you make — as long as you help him out and the work gets done in the end, who is he to complain?

sometimes he even plays along — when he’s not caught up with his gardening, cooking, or bofurin duties that is

he’s also made a habit of pre-emptively apologising for your bluntness and brash behaviour whenever you’re out and about — because he’s well aware that not everyone has the same amount of patience that he does and he’d rather not have to intervene in a fight between his girlfriend and whoever you managed to get on the wrong side of today

he does love and adore you, make no mistake about that, but if he feels like your brashness and jokes will cause problems with a group he’s meeting with then he will just straight up send you on tasks elsewhere to make sure you don’t run into them

he wouldn’t do it if he had to, and he will make it up to you later if you catch onto exactly what he’s doing — he promises!

Haruka Sakura

uh oh

well as long as you don’t go out of your way to start insulting sakura like you would other people you should be fine — otherwise he will match fire with fire and things can spiral into an actual fight quite quickly unless you give up or someone calms you both down

not that he doesn’t love you or find how crass you can be amusing, it’s just that there are limits and he’s not above fighting the people he loves if it means establishing or enforcing a boundary (or just to preserve his ego, as is usually the case when he threatens to fight his classmates)

he can be pretty brash at times himself so he’s in no place to judge you for it, and if he thinks the other party did something to deserve your mocking and insults then he’ll join in and help you

(granted his ‘help’ more so consists of threats and actually fighting the other person, but still)

you two butt heads a lot early on in your relationship, but over time he does get used to your… let’s call them eccentricities… and those arguments start becoming less frequent and less serious

… but there are still moments where someone else (usually suo) has to step in and calm you both down because you really hit a nerve while messing with him and he decided to fight you as compensation

Hayato Suo

as much as suo loves you as his girlfriend and finds your antics amusing, of the characters listed he’s the most willing to step in and put a stop to things whenever he thinks you’re going a bit too far

which is usually when you start stooping to childish insults and behaviours — which he, naturally, deems unbefitting and not very ‘adult’/mature of you and thus not something he wants you to become reliant on

that being said he will get into fights for you if necessary — wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of him to let his girlfriend get her hands dirty, after all — but you will get scolded a lot after the fact for being so reckless and verbally aggressive with others

and those scoldings get even worse if you don’t even know how to fight — like he may not look it at all but he is really not pleased with you putting yourself in danger like this

that being said, whenever you turn your attention to him and start trying to mess with him suo takes it all well, usually while wearing a polite smile and responding with either a goading/condescending ‘yeah?’ or a hum of acknowledgement — until you lose interest and give up (bonus points if you get all huffy and pouty about being bested because he finds that adorable)

Jo Togame

you’re like the complete opposite of togame, in a similar-ish way to choji, and that’s probably what drew him to you in the first place

he finds your confidence and unwillingness to change who you are for other people to be admirable, cute in a way even, and he almost envies you for it

… though admittedly there are moments where he really wishes you would tone it down with the more offensive jokes

(he usually just brushes them off but… come on, time and place)

if you get yourself into a fight with someone else because you managed to upset or offend them then he will come to your defence — but he will also scold you for not taking your strength and size into account when initiating the altercation

especially if you yourself can’t actually fight!

will very occasionally join you in making fun of someone if the person in question happens to be someone he himself doesn’t like for whatever reason — and while his insults might not be quite as pointed, your threats do compliment each other quite nicely all things considered

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anashins · 5 months ago

Note

Can you make part 2 or enemies to fuckers of jaehyun

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: drama, romance, enemies to lovers!

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Jaehyun wants you to make one last decision: Elope with him or finally let him go. (Part 2/2, find Part 1 here).

A/N: You guys wanted an ending, so I'm giving you an ending! I hope this is to your satisfaction :)

Your entire life had come crashing down since you had cheated on your fiancé with Jaehyun the evening before.

Now, your fiancé had left the wedding, including you, and you were forced to watch one of your best friends walking down the aisle while your own dream of ever getting married had been crushed just because your college sweetheart had set you up.

But honestly speaking, if your fiancé had been this important to you in the first place, you wouldn’t have gotten involved with Jaehyun again after that many years. And this fact had sent you spiraling.

You had never loved anyone as much as Jaehyun, but you two weren’t good for each other - so was the conclusion that you were meant to be alone for the rest of your life?

“After the reception, I will leave,” Jaehyun had told you this morning.

“Good riddance, Jaehyun.”

“Wait.” He had grabbed you by his arm, hindering you from walking away. “And I want you to come with me.”

You had snorted. “Why would I do that after you slept with me and then led my fiancé to find out?”

“How else would I have you all for myself this fast? I had to get rid of him, because I want you!”

“It’s been six years since we’ve last seen each other and you haven’t changed one bit.”

“Neither did you,” he tried to convince you calmly. “So what does that make us?”

“We cannot be together! Look what it made of us in university! I don’t want to be like that anymore!”

“Then let’s go away together! Somewhere where no one can influence us, judge us, where we can start anew, changed.”

“And then what? Then we get married and get a lot of babies? Get a grip, Jaehyun.”

“Yes,” he had said confidently. “Actually, I want exactly that. After the reception starts, I’ll wait for you.”

“Then you can wait forever,” you had replied coldly.

You lifted your gaze that then landed on your friend in her beautiful white dress, standing in front of the altar, looking at her beautiful husband on the most beautiful day of her life with so much love as one could bear.

You were the third bridesmaid in line and Jaehyun the third best man, yet despite being placed opposite each other, you avoided looking in his direction even once, because you were afraid you were going to give in after having been offered by him everything you had ever dreamed of.

“We stand here to honor and celebrate the love shared between these two people.”

You were so, so happy for your friend who exchanged rings with her husband in front of so many witnesses. You were so, so happy, yet so sad for yourself at the same time, and it made you feel guilty, having such thoughts. You were the forger of your own misery after all.

So you were watching the ceremony in much discomfort, knowing very well that Jaehyun’s eyes were on you the entire time.

“You may kiss the bride.”

By the end, you hadn’t noticed how a single tear had landed on your dress.

____

You stared at the note in your trembling hands, standing in front of the hundred guests who were all watching you with much anticipation.

“I remember the day you told me about your husband,” you said into the microphone while holding your bridesmaid speech. “We were studying in the library, and your eyes lit up in a way I’d never seen before. You talked about him with such joy and excitement, and I immediately knew then this was something special. Watching your love story unfold has been like watching the most beautiful flower bloom.”

Your voice shook with the last words, but you continued speaking, the eyes of the tall figure standing by the entrance door never wavering from you. He was waiting, but you ignored him and turned to the groom instead,

“You’re marrying not just a beautiful woman, but a beautiful soul. She has a heart big enough to love the whole world, and I’m so grateful that she’s found someone who loves her as she deserves.” You swallowed as you hadn’t expected how close to home this would hit now. “The way you look at her, the way you support her dreams, the way you make her laugh – it’s everything I could have hoped for… my friend.”

You had a hard time not finishing the sentence with “for myself”. This was just not the time to make it about you. You inhaled deeply to continue, but the entrance door simultaneously made a sound, and as you raised your head, you saw that it had opened. The figure, Jaehyun, who had stayed there and waited, had now left.

Your voice trembled with the following words that were not written in the note, but came from deep within your heart, “To everyone else… In life, we really form bonds that can never be broken. We really find that one person that’s meant to be with us through time. You may find it in a friend, in a lover, in a family member, sometimes they’re all at once. But when you find them, you should never let them go, and if you haven’t found them yet, never give up hope.”

Everyone was the forger of their own future. Everyone could make the decision to change, you knew that now. If you weren’t going to change, then your life wouldn’t either. So you wanted to give it a chance. One last shot.

You looked at your note again and ended the speech as planned, but in much hurry, “To the happy couple, may your life together be filled with as much laughter, love, and beautiful moments as you’ve brought into the lives of everyone in this room.”

You raised your glass, but placed it back immediately while everyone else was still drinking. The applause was only background noise for you and everyone trying to speak to you and congratulate you were only extras in the scenery as you ruffled your dress to your left and right, and sprinted through the reception hall.

“Excuse me, I need to go” you were telling everyone trying to hold you back.

You hope you weren’t too late, that he was still there, awaiting you when you had let him wait for so long and more already. But when you pushed the door open and stumbled out of the hall, the lobby was entirely empty, not a single person in sight.

The entrance door fell shut behind you and your chest heaved up and down in exhaustion. You dropped your head in disappointment. It served you right after everything that had happened in the last two days and six years ago.

Perhaps, you were wrong and were praising false hope. Perhaps, sometimes these bonds could be broken and some people just didn’t deserve them.

“Great speech that you were giving out there.”

Your head snapped back up and your face softened in relief upon spotting Jaehyun standing by the staircase. “You came back!”

He smiled. “I figured, if you still hadn’t changed, you might need a little more time than I have initially given you. Turns out I was right.”

After all, he was still the person who knew you the best. You just wished that instead of using this against each other, you could use this mutual understanding and knowledge to finally forge something beautiful and long lasting between you two.

“But I want to change. We need to change,” you protested. “I don’t want to be like that anymore. That’s my only requirement if I come with you”

“I know, and I will too.” Jaehyun stretched out his hand. “Let’s go.”

#jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x you #nct x reader #nct 127 x you #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #requests

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anselbun · 5 months ago

Text

Thinking about dick graysons canon hallucinations and his also very canon (though not explicitly stated) BPD today. About how he was 100% in the throes of an extended manic episode during a lot of the older titans comics from right after Jason’s death. How even in the current day he struggles so horribly with all his huge pent up feelings that are constantly changing and just doesn’t know how to deal with, but has forced himself to learn how to hide them until they blow over. He has to hide them. He has to be the mature one. He has to protect the other kids from the chaos and pain that is this life.

Dick, who has to hallucinate the child brother he barely knew because that’s the only way to cope with his death. The only way to make his brain think he hasn’t been “abandoned” by another person he cares about.

How, when Roy had to take over the titans, all dick could think and feel was that Roy didn’t trust him or care about him anymore and that none of the titans wanted him here. That he was being rejected. That they didn’t love him. That this was just like when Batman fired him as robin.

It isn’t like that. It never WAS like that. But dick does not always understand that.

As he’s gotten older, he hasn’t quite “mellowed out”. He’s still the intensely emotional, struggling person he was in the older comics. He still has deeply impulsive thoughts and constantly tries to put the perceived needs of others above himself, over and over and over. But he’s learned that he cannot show these feelings to others. That he HAS to keep them in, because if they see that he’s struggling, the rejection will just be worse. That he’ll ruin more relationships, that he won’t be able to be there to protect those people when they need him.

And then there’s Jason after he’s returned. Jason who always feels that dick is judging him, now. How he thinks dick is always looking at him as if he’s about to blow up, about to have some crazy plan that will get others killed. Because, well- that’s what dick DOES expect. Because he saw Jason, with the “same” big feelings that dick had at that point in his life, but Jason “never” hid them. He went out there and expressed his rage as red hood and got it all out, and dick never really did that without immediately regretting the consequences and having to fix it.

I think, in dicks perspective , everybody else has these same huge feelings he has all the time. The constant back and forth, the constant fear of rejection. He sees Jason being angry and violent and thinks- “why can’t he just hold it all in like I do?”. He doesn’t get that this is a different situation, different feelings. That dick holding in all this violent anger and need for reassurance isn’t good for him, that Jason learning to do that wouldn’t be good for him either.

I think, as much as dick probably wouldn’t want to admit it, he projects onto his family a lot like Jason does. Jason and his comments about how the other kids only ever became Robin so that Bruce would love them. Sure, there’s some truth in it when it comes to damian, who had no connection to Gotham other than it being where his father lived. But there’s more nuances to that that Jason doesn’t understand about his siblings because he’s not in their head. Just like how there’s nuances to all of their feelings and trauma and reactions to things that dick will never understand.

He’s forced himself to mature, to grow and bury these feelings because he knows he has to be the responsible one. He has to do what his family and bludhaven and Gotham and his team all need. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have those feelings of anger in him. That doesn’t mean he stops looking at Bruce sometimes and thinking- “god, I think he’s a monster” after seeing everything Bruce has done to the other kids. That also doesn’t change that dick looks at Bruce and thinks “he’s my father my mentor my hero, my brother, my saviour, my partner, my everything- my god. I’d die for him. I will never be him. I will never be good enough for him. I need him to be better for everyone else.”

Dick will never stop feeling these constant sways of emotions. They’ll always be a part of them. He’s just had to bury them. Until Bruce fucks up too bad again or someone hurts one of the kids dick’s sworn himself to protect. Until he has no choice than to let it all boil over.

Dick isn’t the angry robin. He isn’t the happy robin. Boiling him and Jason down to either one of those characteristics is just damaging to their characters and what they’ve been through.

Dick is bright and happy and loving and charismatic. But he’s so angry. He’s so tired. He wants to be loved and he wants to be safe. He wants to protect others. Needs to protect others. Needs to be the one whose always there to do it because he trusts nobody else to handle it all. He has to handle it all. He doesn’t want to handle any of it. He’s so tired. He’s so angry. He loves so strong and it’s killing him.

He spends so much of his time seeing how being Batman is killing Bruce. How much of his life Bruce has given to the thing that will kill him.

I think dick refuses to accept that being robin, being nightwing, is killing himself too. That he’s not immune to this. That pushing himself harder and harder and trying to “prove” himself that he CAN handle everything over and over again doesn’t mean he should. That he’s torturing himself in ways even Batman cannot see.

#batfam #dick grayson #dick grayson robin #nightwing #batman #dc comics #batfamily #damian wayne #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #rambles

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briseroyawritingsblog · 10 months ago

Text

𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒐𝒕!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

• +18 minors do not interact. established relationship, shopping trip, dinner date at home, SMUT/ protected sex, anal sex, soft sex, lots of french kissing, size kink, breeding kink, too many feelings (reader) life in 2051, fluffy things and etc.

𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 / 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

dividers by @cafekitsune & @anitalenia 🤍

“Why don’t you just move to my bed..?” Logan wondered caressing your hand softly. Thumb drawing circles on your knuckles “Would you like me to do that Sir?” Looking up into his eyes you read his emotions. He nodded “Yes princess..” batting your eyelashes he smiled pulling you closer to him. “I shall move to rest next to you Sir” confirming upon his lovely request your arms swung themselves around his neck. “I will take a shower bub, I forgot about the movie.” cheeks heating up at his words replaying the events that happened few minutes ago. “I cannot refuse you Sir.. I love you” Logan cooed against your lips kissing you slowly and long savouring the taste of your glossy lips. “And I love you..” hearing those words again from him you felt pulsing in your chest. Warmth spreading through your entire body. “I will prepare fresh pyjamas for you. Would you like me to change the sheets as well?” Suggesting while your dainty little fingers scratched his bearded cheeks. “That would be nice” he hummed watching you bat your curly eyelashes at him his heart picking up the speed pulse spiking. The sheer beauty of you “We are one— joined souls… forever” logan smirked. “Are we now princess?”

“What else do we need?” He chuckled softly watching you load the cart with groceries.

“A lot. I plan to cook only the best for you Sir” your lips curled into a soft smile. You wore a black maid dress, a rainproof coat and knee high boots. Your clothes arrived delivered and securely packaged in boxes.

“You do enough..” he whispered in your ear standing behind you as you pushed the cart. You melted into his embrace kissing his cheek softly. Some people nearby mistook you for a real human being— women complimented you. They complimented your black long locks, until you removed your glasses which covered your eyes. You had sclera hues, and for humans that was scary. You adored children so if they approached you you knelt to their height and spoke with them. Logan saw it, he only watched in awe. How was that even possible he held so much love for you? You let the children touch your hair and your hands. “One day I want to be like you!” Little girl said with a giggle.

“Come on sweetheart..” Logan extended his hand towards you when he saw security guards nearby. “We had a complaint that she’s a robot. We do not allow them to stay here or let alone engage with people. They can be dangerous” you looked at Logan gently hiding behind him lowering your eyes putting your glasses back on. “We are leaving—” he grunted shooting a death glare towards the guard forming a fist. You stopped him cupping his knuckles feeling the sharp tips of his pushed out claws against your palm “That’s alright Sir, we are leaving now” after paying and bagging the groceries together you remained silent. The child told you that she wanted to be like you one day— she thought that you were a human being. You wanted that so much— to be real for him. For your love. The thing was people mistook you for the failed kind of robots, you wanted to be better. Those who rebelled against humans you were not like them you couldn’t be ever.

“We will have the groceries delivered. Whatever you want princess. I don’t want them to judge you or stare at you. It angers me” Logan admitted as you chopped the vegetables for his dinner. “I completely understand Sir. I just wanted to be with you” you admitted and Logan sighed softly. “And I want to be with you. Every moment I get to be with you— I wouldn’t change it for the world. If anything happens to you” you put down the knife clashing distance with him locking your arms around him kissing the side of your neck snuggling in his arms closing your eyes inhaling his scent. The warm woodsy kind— your senses taking in every part of his body. His own arms coiled around you kissing the top of your head pulling you even closer to him until he lifted you your thighs wrapping themselves around his waist clinging to him. “Don’t ever let me go Sir” you blinked facing him your noses touching. “I can think of many reasons to keep you around princess” a soft smirk painted his features large palms cupping and holding your butt slowly walking around the kitchen with you. Hearts forming before your eyes leaning in kissing him long letting his tongue penetrate your lips. You moaned raking your fingers through his dark mane pulling him closer your lips being engulfed by him tasting the aroma of his whiskey breath.

You finished plating his dinner, steak with tons of veggies and a side of fries. Sitting opposite him opening his laptop while he ate his dinner complimenting every bite how good it was praising you on. “Sir? Shall I respond to your emails from work? You have over 100 unread.” Your cheeks blushed at his lovely compliments. “Come here.. fuck the emails..” he leaned back on his chair sipping on his drink. Eyes hooded, face full of affection for you. “I’m just a fuckin’ fool in love with you” he sighed taking your hand once you walked over to him. He pulled you to his lap so you straddled his hips. You lied your cheek on his shoulder draping your arm around his other shoulder closing your eyes humming a song to him. “I love you just as much—” whispering your mouth cupped his ear kissing him there.

Something occurred that night. While you rested on the bed, your eyelids shut something formed in the middle of your chest. A red ball of energy— right under your rib cage. The ball of warm energy started to pulsate. It became redder and redder to the point anyone could see the wires under your skin. You were not aware of what was happening you were completely resting and recharging. The light in your chest formed a shape of human heart. It was beating faster and faster until it found its own pace. Logan woke up at the red light in the room, he sat up next to you placing a hand on your chest you were warm. Rubbing your cheek with the back of his knuckles softly, how could a robot become half human? Unplugging your charging system he scooped you in his arms holding you placing his cheek on your forehead. “Is there something I can do for you Sir?” Your eyes fluttered open and he remained silent. The light in your chest faded away and you didn’t feel any different. “Logan..” you reached for his forehead kissing it. “What?” He whispered not believing you said his name for the first time. “Say it again.” furrowing your eyebrows you nuzzled your face against his neck “James..” his face softened. “You said my name” nodding softly “Yes.. you’re my boyfriend” bringing you down on the bed cupping your cheek he kissed your mouth softly. “You have a heart” closing your eyes placing a hand over his own heart listening to his heartbeat “It beats for you”

— Love Overdrive —

“James..” gasping for air your hands clutched the silky sheets beneath you as you found yourself under Logan. His large body shielding you, letting you feel his weight. His arms were under you as he rocked his hips into you from behind. His ragged breath coated your ear as he filled you out. “I love you..” you let out the softest moan but soon his hips picked up the speed sheating his protected cock deeper in you feeling how you coat him in your creamy essence and god he lost his mind burying his face against the back of your hair letting out the softest grunts and whimpers as he grabbed your breasts “I’m here.. I-I’m here.. I’m yours” you felt his emotions, you tamed him. He was so lost and you found him. “Fuck.. fuck…” he rasped parting your thighs even more as you were on your knees making sure to hide all of his cock in your warm centre. “You better stay princess.. need to tame your old man..” he breathed kissing your shoulder, your lips remained parted in pleasure. Taking his cock out of your wet inviting centre, rubbing the swollen mushroom tip on your other hole which seemed so tight and god you were so soft. “James” you panted looking over your shoulder as he grabbed the base of his protected cock prodding your puckered hole. You cried out— “Fuck” he groaned. Hearts formed in your sclera eyes as you bit your lower lip whining at the feel of him. Clenching around him the moment he slid right whole inside of you he gasped. “Holy f-” grunting he pulled you to kneel up between his parted thighs. Your back leaning on his chest as he grabbed your pussy from the front holding it snapping his hips against your butt stretching your other hole repeatedly. You mewled wrapping your arm around his neck touching his hair. “Oh James, Logan.. ughhh.. mmmm” you let out the softest moans and mewls which spurred him on fucking into you quicker and quicker not holding back. “You feel so good.. tightest holes I ever fucked, ugh” whispering in your ear you licked your lower lip tilting your face to him leaning the back of your head on his shoulder kissing him. Your tongues glided over each other and his thrusts became faster, harder. As if he was trying to climb inside of you “Mine.. mine mine..” sliding two of his fingers in your wet mound from the front he remained pounding your other hole until he couldn’t anymore. The moment he stilled and released all of his tension with a broken whimper. Getting rid of his used condom he reached for a new one, making sure it was correctly rolled over his swollen cock which dripped with so much cum.

“Lay down..” you breathed watching him do so climbing on top of him locking your hand around his warm length pumping it. “Shit..” he breathed chest heaving eyes hooded with desire again. His claws slowly pushing out “Shhh..” licking your lower lip you sitting on him completely touching his shiny claws with your fingers bringing them to your mouth your tongue dancing on his middle one “Ughh..” he smiled at you carefully gripping your thigh as you nestled him right in your honeypot. “I love when you orgasm” you whimpered moaning with every move of your hips as you gyrated yourself on his length your thighs rubbing on his own “Because I’m the cause of it.. I love when you push out these claws because the pleasure is too much..” his mouth parted “Fuck you’re.. you’re the cause baby.. one day you will carry my little wolves” you nodded biting your lower lip again speeding up your hips fucking him just right. “Yes Sir.. yes.. ughhh yess..” fingers tangling around his dogtags pulling on them gently you whined as he became even harder for you close to cum again reaching behind you to place your hands on his knees you rode him until he came and it was an eruption.

“Princess..”

(Any grammatical errors I apologise in advance)

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rdr2gifs · 2 years ago

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One of my favorite aspects of Arthur’s character is his curiosity and his non-judgmental nature. Even if they are people who are totally different from him he doesn’t judge and he is always intrigued by the unknown.

For example Jamie, having joined a cult and behaving quite foolishly, gave Arthur a lot of trouble. Despite this, Arthur chose not to ridicule him and instead comforted him and said that he cannot judge him because he doesn’t know how his life has been.

Even though Arthur hates big cities, civilisation etc. he is not judgmental towards a woman who comes from a wealthy family, who doesn’t know a thing about survival, who probably never had to work for a single thing in her life. Instead, he is encouraging and helps her be more confident in herself.

Albert Mason, who is totally helpless and who probably couldn’t survive 2 days in the wild couldn’t be more different from Arthur, yet Arthur respects him and likes helping him.

Some of my favorite wholesome encounters include Algernon Wasp, who wants to sell Arthur a corset and make him try on extravagant hats, which aren’t Arthur’s style at all. Arthur could be mean to him but instead he makes excuses to not disrespect his work and even lets him put on the hat after little persuasion!

Arthur is intrigued by the flamboyant Charles Châtenay and his mischiefs and helps him/spends time with him even if there’s no reward for him.

He helps a crazy scientist obsessed with creating his robot son, a crazy palaeontologist..he is obviously drawn to new/unfamiliar things. Even though he might find them weird at first he doesn’t mind and wants to know more about them.

Arthur also doesn’t seem to like physical affection much but I can remember at least 4 instances where he lets people hug him to comfort them even though it might be uncomfortable for him.

I genuinely think that for anyone to say that Arthur wouldn’t be accepting of people different from him, would be homophobic, transphobic, would kill you if you were near him, would be mean to you etc. have no understanding of him at all. Arthur treats people like they treat him and he doesn’t think he is in any position to judge how others live.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Bonus: if you manage to find “Bigfoot” and visit him for the second time he asks Arthur if he has missed him and Arthur is really awkward and doesn’t really know what to say so he says he also missed him haha

#Arthur always likes to act all mean and grumpy and then gives in after 10 seconds 😆#obviously experience can vary based on players decision but most of these aren’t even based on honor #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #and there’s more encounters I didn’t even mention!

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yuikomorii · 13 days ago

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when that previous anon said that ayato is "evil and irredeemable" (this could be about any of the diaboys in general) i think it just means that his character development does not take away from the fact that at the end of the day he was still a cruel monster to yui in HDB/MB and that's inherently the diaboys' nature. yes he has the most human qualities and he's always been the one to sacrifice himself the most and and that's one of the things i love most about him but his actions in the old games/CDs (implied rape, taking out his anger on yui by attempting to tear her limbs off, etc.) absolutely cannot be redeemed. he knew full well what he was doing and that's where i think the "evil" part comes in. you could say he's a morally gray character that eventually learned to love because of yui but considering the nature of dl i think he is definitely still capable of that darkness we saw in HDB/MB. maybe not as extreme but i don't believe that his demon nature can be undone just because he fell in love with a human girl. and i am saying this as a diehard ayayui shipper

// I definitely think being a vampire twists someone’s nature, whether they were born human or not. Take Kanato’s Heaven scenario in HDB, where vampire Yui starts killing all the Kaminashi citizens and says she couldn’t care less how many people she has to sacrifice for him. That kind of mindset would sound extremely creepy coming from a human, but somehow it feels ‘romantic’ coming from a vampire. Still, Karlheinz rewound time, so none of the HDB events actually happened in the canon universe. No one remembers anything, no one was traumatized, and nobody died. So why dwell on it? That entire game is just as canon as any bad ending, since all bad endings happen in alternate timelines where time gets reset just like it. It’s fine to feel uncomfortable about it, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t judge a character based solely on something that doesn’t even exist anymore.

As for MB, I honestly don’t see what was so cruel about Ayato or any of the other Sakamakis. Yeah, they called you prey and bit you, which is definitely painful, especially if you want to feel seen, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call what they did actual torture. And let’s not forget that in Ayato’s route, it was actually Yui who started off objectifying him. She only wanted to date him because, in her mind, he wasn’t a person with real feelings, just someone who made her feel good. In fact, by the second chapter, she even confesses that she likes him for his cuteness and the pleasure his fangs bring her. Hearing that wouldn’t make anyone feel like you like them for superficial reasons? Ayato kept biting her not just out of thirst, but because he was trying to give her what she wanted. It was a form of revenge, but let’s be honest, Yui did kind of walk into that situation herself. The entire route revolves around Yui presenting herself as a helpless maiden in need of love, but by the end, both she and Ruki come to realize that SHE is actually more selfish and more difficult to handle than Ayato.

The CD dramas are their own thing and don’t really connect to the games. The earlier ones were much bloodier and more violent, mainly because that kind of content fascinated a lot of people at the time. But again, they have nothing to do with the actual game canon, so it’s best to treat them as separate stories. For example, in Daylight, Ayato cries, which was something so big that even earned his CD an award, yet in the games’ current timeline, across all seven titles, he’s the only Diaboy who has never cried. And if you’re talking about that limb scene I’m thinking of, then no, Ayato wasn’t taking out his anger on her in that CD. She was actually chained up by the Mukamis, and Ayato believed that was the only way to help her escape. She was scared at first, but she did consent in the end. Yeah, it’s a messed up scene, but since she was okay with it, I honestly don’t care, lol. Be crazy together ig.

The thing that bothers me about how a lot of people think is this idea that whether or not someone is redeemable just depends on how many bad things they’ve done, or how serious those things were. Like there's some invisible scale, and if you did "too much" bad stuff or crossed a certain line, that's it… game over, you’re irredeemable. But if you stayed just under that imaginary limit, congrats, you’re still eligible for a redemption arc. And honestly that’s just NOT HOW IT WORKS. It’s not all about the number of bad deeds or how severe they were. Redemption isn’t this math problem where you tally up crimes and then try to balance them out with enough good deeds. That kind of thinking turns something so complex into a mere checklist, so it completely misses the actual point.

What really matters is how someone deals with the bad things they’ve done. You could make a ton of those, even really serious ones but if you actually recognize that what you did was bad, feel remorse, and genuinely try to be better without expecting anything in return, that says a lot more than someone who did fewer bad things but never changed no matter how much time passed by.

Redemption doesn’t mean that all your bad deeds are erased, it means being willing to improve yourself not because you want to erase your history, but because you understand that growth is the right path forward. It’s about committing to change your behavior and mindset so you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes you made in the past. That willingness to correct yourself and become a better person, even when it’s difficult, is what separates someone who is redeemable from someone who isn’t:

At the end of the day, yeah, all the Diaboys and even Yui, are morally gray characters, and honestly, that’s what makes them way more interesting. It just goes to show you can’t really judge people in just black and white terms. Nobody’s ever fully good or fully bad and everyone’s a mix of both, which is what makes them realistic.

#admin

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georgiapeach30513 · 4 months ago

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How I'm Looking At You, Part 8

Summary: You and Ari have a really long date...

Pairings: Ari Levinson X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings: explicit sexual content, explicit language, fingering, dry humping, teasing, brief sexual harassment, mild violence, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, PIV sex, creampie, blood, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 7.5K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“What are you doing?” Ari asks. He steps behind you, smoothing his hands down your curves. You cannot let him confuse your brain. You have things that you need to do. And currently they do not involve being distracted by this beautiful man.

“Darling? What’s all this?” Having him in this bedroom alone with you makes this decision so much harder. You can’t have his hands, his scent, and his warmth infiltrating your mind. Hindering your thoughts to the point that it will make you change your mind, and you don’t want that.

Keeping a hand on your waist, he turns to look at the bed in ‘your room’. He gestures towards your bed, and at the weekender bag in the center with clothes surrounding it. “We’re just going out to the city. Do you need help choosing an outfit?”

“N-n-n-no,” you stutter, still unable to look him in the eye.

“Can you tell me what’s going on then?” You shake your head no, keeping your eyes on the dresser in front of you. Looking at him terrifies you at times. “Hey, hey. Let’s — you know, take a step back. Are we going to the city today for a date?” Eagerly you nod your head, and he breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay, because for a second I thought you were leaving me.”

“What?” You spin around and stare up at the most beautiful human you have ever seen in your life. “No! No. No, I wouldn’t. I-I-I’m a bit embarrassed to say.”

“I’m not going to judge you, Darling. I never would,” and he never has. Of all the people that have been in your life, they’ve always judged. Always told you what you should do, who you should be. They wanted to control every aspect of your life. But with Ari, you get to be you. And he loves every version you have tried out. Encourages you daily.

“I’m preparing for an ‘if’,” you respond with much more conviction than you had anticipated. Nerves wiggle around in your belly, and you just hope that he agrees with your ‘if’.

“An ‘if’?” Ari’s chuckle sends a wave of heat to your stomach, and through your body. He turns you on way too easily. “What does that mean?”

“What if we didn’t come back?”

“I’m listening,” his voice growls, and he settles on the bed. Rubbing his thigh as his crystal eyes peer up at you through his lashes. Taking a deep breath, you walk over to him, and sit in his lap. He pulls you in closer, and runs his hand up and down your back.

“I’m not ready to officially leave yet. I-I-I don’t think,” Ari’s large hand cups your cheek, and then he caresses your jawline.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” he’s making it impossible to breathe because all you want to do is feel him all over you.

“I want to leave. With you. But I’m not ready yet. But maybe this is our beginning. Like a trial run. I want you, and,” you take several slow calculated breaths, inching closer to him before laying your head on his shoulder. Your hand lazily moves up and down his chest, “I want you to have all of me. We could get a room. And…”

“You want your first time to be in some old hotel?”

“I just want my first time to be with you. Away from here, so we don’t have to worry about nosy Amish men. When I — we have sex, not fuck, I don’t want anything to distract us,” lifting up off his shoulder, you gaze into his eyes, “It’s not about where. It’s only just been about you.”

“So…you’re saying you want this trip to be a fun full day of just me and you, and then we stay the night somewhere?” Smiling, you nod your head, and quickly kiss his lips. “I don’t want you to feel pressured. Especially not by me. I’m okay with everything going on right now.”

“I don’t feel pressured!” You yelp. You don’t. That is not a lie. But the way that your body is craving him. The way that it yearned for him to touch and kiss every part of you, while you also paint him with your tongue. You want to move your fingers over every inch of his tanned skin. Learning each of his freckles, and scars. You want to fully dive in and discover the man that you are falling for. No, that you are madly, irrevocably, torturously in love with.

“I don’t feel pressured. But I want it. I want you, and I want us, and I want to make sweet love with you. And I want you to fuck me like your dirty whore. And I want to wake up with you spitting on your hand, to prepare my body to take you. And I need you to come inside of me, so I can feel your cum deep in my belly, and…”

“Shh,” Ari uses his hand to cover your mouth. You’re trying to kill him, and you’re getting very successful. It is taking everything in him to not get hard. Your filthy fucking mouth will be the death of him. He would damn his sister if it wasn’t for the fact that it made you a needy little slut for him. You had the knowledge in theory, but not the practice. You were a menace to him.

The ways that he wants to just claim you, use you, and make you free use are numerous. He wants to have each and every single part of your body covered in him. He wants to see you use him. Ride him. Take out your years of pent up sexual denial and frustration out on his dick. He will lay back and just watch you learn the pleasure of each other's body. He can tell that you are eager to try everything out.

You are his dream girl that he wasn’t looking for, and didn’t even know he wanted. “Okay, you can’t talk about things like that while you’re sitting on my lap.”

“Why? Did I make you hard? Can I see? Can I watch you get hard?”

“Darling!” He groans, letting his body fall back on the bed. “You’re killing me. Believe me, I will let you sweetly lay on the bed and play with my soft cock all you want. Learn human anatomy using my body. But if we don’t stop talking, I will want to just fuck you right here, right now, and risk someone catching us before you’re ready. Please, just — just finish packing a bag with whatever you want. Let me go pack some things, and…”

“No condoms,” you’re going to be the death of him! “Please. I don’t want anyone else,” you didn’t know anyone else. His fear is that you will get your taste of freedom, and want to try all the flavors of the world. Other men, maybe women, whatever your heart desired. “I just want you, and I want to really feel you.”

“A condom doesn’t change that much.”

“And I want to know what the ropes of your thick cum feel like from the inside,” his jaw drops open, and he begs for whatever being out there sent you to him to have some mercy. Filthy fucking mouth. “Is that so wrong?”

“If you weren’t so damn innocent while saying this, I’d want to spank you, and don’t wiggle your ass on me. I will spank you in time. Darling, I’ve got to pack. I’ll bring condoms just in case,” he says, picking your body up to set on the bed. Your eyes immediately fall to the massive bulge in his pants.

“I’m sorry,” no you’re not.

“It’s fine. It’s just my body reacting to the love of my life destroying my brain,” he leaves the bedroom, and your eyes go so large watching him. You heard it. You did not dream it. He called you the love of his life so nonchalantly that it shocks you. How did he say that and make no other comment? Did he realize he said it, or was his hard on confusing his brain?

Surely that was a mistake. He didn’t mean it. He was just speaking because he had to get away from this situation. But what if he’s being serious? What if it was just spoken out loud out of confusion, but it’s something he has truly been feeling? You have. You know that you love that man. You know that not only are you giving up everything for that man, that you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

There is not ever going to be anything better than him. He is exactly who you want. And you want to remember this time. The time when it is just you and him, trying to figure out how you’re going to go about leaving all that you know behind. How you’re going to have to leave your family forever. There isn’t going back. There’s this life, or Ari’s, and you think you chose his life a long time ago.

Just breathe.

It’s only a date with the love of your life. It’s only your first slumber party. Nothing has to happen, but you also don’t think your body can continue to hold back from him. You are too curious, and you’re ready. As long as you’re with him.

Ari can’t keep his eyes off you. Not only do you look fucking amazing in what his sister calls a milkmaid dress, you look at ease. Every curve is on display in that boner inducing dress. Your bonnet is off your head with your baby hairs waving in the wind. He wonders if you’ll cut your hair once you’re out of the community. Wonders if you’ll let him treat you to a mani/pedi. Will you want to travel around the world? Will you let him treat you? Spoil you?

Will you allow him to give you choices? Will there be times that you let him take the reins? He doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He just wants to experience it all with you.

Even just looking at you leaning over the window. Your sweet self just watches everything drive by, almost like you’ve never seen something quite like it. There’s a reason he likes this truck, and it’s the bench seat. He had hoped you’d scoot real close to him, but he’d hate to miss this view.

“Quit staring,” you break him from his concentration of your body, while also trying to keep his eyes on the road. He has the most precious cargo inside. “I feel your eyes on me,” you peek over to him, and he is in fact sideways glancing at you. “You’re making my skin prickle.”

“Why?”

“Because,” you exhale. Sitting up in the seat, you lay your hands in your lap, and whatever it is you’re doing with your arms, it makes your breasts look even more scrumptious. You make it difficult to breathe. “Are you fucking me with your eyes?”

Thank goodness for a red light, because Ari looks down at his lap, begging his cock not to react. He loves the way you innocently spout filthy bullshit like that. You have the mouth of a sailor sometimes, and no ability to keep it quiet. “Yes,” he responds. He won’t lie to you.

“What are you doing to me in your mind?” Ari exhales deeply, shaking his head as he starts to accelerate. He could be honest. Heaven knows that your books have said worse. “Am I leaning over this seat, and letting you fuck my mouth?”

“No,” although that is a thought. Just a small drive down the road with your mouth full of him. Ass in the air, so he can play with your pretty pussy, and him trying to pay attention to the road.

“Am I turned in my seat like this?” You spin around to look at him, keeping one leg on the floor, while the other rests on the seat. “With my dress pulled up like this, and I move my panties to the side like this?” his eyes stay on your core as you shift those lacy pink panties to the side, and he sees your cunt drenched in arousal.

You’re trying to kill him. “Did you shave again?”

“I like that there’s a secret that no one else can see. But you,” he gulps, looking at your spread thighs. Your tight pussy that no one, but him has seen on full display. Glistening in the sunlight. You spread yourself open, and he sees your tight little hole that he wants so badly to sink his cock into. “I want you to get a good look at your cum leaking out of me.”

“Fuck,” Ari grunts, rushing over to the side of the road. He slams the truck into park, and just sits there deep breathing. You are both an angel and a devil, and you were sent here to destroy him.

“Does that bother you?”

“Nope,” his voice squeaks. He doesn’t want to get hard just yet. But he’s running out of stupid things to think about that aren’t the words coming out of your sinful mouth.

“Or are you thinking about letting me ride your fingers as we drive down the road?” That is a start. “Pulling my dress down like this, so you can watch me pant?” peeling your dress away you let each of your breasts spill out. You would walk around with no bra on. You would let your tits hang out while your pussy is spread. And he would be the devil if he had you right here.

“You’re a filthy fucking girl, you know that?”

“Only for you,” you smile. He finally looks over towards you, and you’re on full display. Tits hanging out, pussy spread wide open. Thank fuck for tinted windows. He could just about come in his pants like a fucking teenage boy. That’s the way you make him feel. Young and inexperienced.

“Show me what you do at night in your bed when you think about me,” your head tilts to the side, and your mouth lifts in the most evil devil may care grin. “Go on,” he sighs, scooting closer in the seat to you.

He plants himself close enough to you that you can still reach in between your legs to pleasure yourself. Leaning forward, he grabs one breast in his hand, and gives it a hard suck before moving to the other. His tongue flicks over your nipple, and he gives it a gentle bite. Getting the little bud hard and sensitive before pulling off you.

“Fuck yourself,” he taunts. You hesitate for too long, and he reaches, and pinches both nipples at the same time, and brings you closer to him. Your mouth lags open, and you hold your breath at the intensity of his stare. “Fuck yourself. Or…” his fingers roll your nipples in between them, and you chirp at the feeling.

“Or?” Your chest heaves. God, he feels good. He feels like the best thing in the world.

“Climb in my lap, and make yourself feel good,” he hasn’t dry humped in who knows how long. But he is aching. Unable to keep himself from having a hard on. His cock is at full mast, and bulging in his pants. And if it takes you grinding on top of him to get you both off long enough to enjoy an innocent date, he’ll do what he has to do.

“Come on. What are you going to do?” Without a second thought, you launch yourself up, and settle on his lap. His hands grip tight to your hips, and he reaches to the elastic of your panties, and rips the damn things off. “Those are in the way.”

With your dress sleeves hanging limply on your shoulders, you start rolling your hips. Moaning at the feel of his hardened length at your center. He isn’t inside of you yet, but this feels amazing. You can’t even imagine what he’ll feel like once he’s reached the depths of your body. “There’s my girl,” he pants. His eyes moving from your eyes to your bouncing tits. “So sensitive. So soft.”

He’s losing his mind. This is something teenagers do to experiment, and has no business feeling so good to a grown man. “So fucking good, baby. You’re doing great,” slamming your mouth on his, you take from him greedily as you arch your back. Increasing the filthy grinds on his body.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he says. Hands on your hips, he lifts you up a bit, before he shimmies a hand underneath you, “Two or three?”

“What?” You pant. What does that even mean?

“Two or three fingers?” Oh, sweet lord. That’s a hard question. Almost as hard as his cock under you. “Darling? There’s no wrong answer.”

“Three!”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes,” you nod. Your jaw slackens when you feel his thick digits touch over your most sensitive area of your body. He moves them through your slit. Using your honey as lube before adding pressure, and pushing into you. “I’m okay,” you promise. He knows you are. He’s taking his time because he wants to memorize your face. “Ari!”

Three fingers break through the barrier of your walls, and you’re so tight, he swears he feels you all the way to his balls. Honestly, this is a perfect way to start some early prep on your body. It’ll sting when he enters your pussy. “Oh, god,” you try to breathe as his fingers venture deeper in your body. Not stopping until your mound rests on the palm of his hand.

“You are doing so good,” he coos, kissing over your jaw, and down your neck. “You take me so well, Darling. So fucking good. You feel so fucking good,” he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses across your neck. Nipping and biting on your soft skin. Going lower because if it leaves a mark, you’ll need to hide it. And he really wants to mark you.

He wants to take you to this stupid fair, and have you walking around looking like you have just been fucked, and they’re going to know who fucked you. Well, sort of. “There’s my girl,” his voice is so low as you start to work yourself over him.

Rising and falling over him, and relishing in the feeling of him stretching you out. Of him devouring your neck, and groping your body. Moments like these, you want him to use you. To view you as only an object, because you are. You are for his pleasure because he gives you so much pleasure. He allows you to be you, he’s given you the freedom that you were too scared to hold within your grasp.

And within that, you found a friend. Someone willing to treat you like a human, and you’re equal. Someone to build your confidence, and not shy away from the monster he created. He wants this journey with you. And you want everything with him. All of life, you want him to be your guide. Show you the way of the English. Of real people outside of the hell you were born into.

Sex is not evil. Pleasure is not of the devil. Looking in the mirror, and liking what you see is not a sin. Exploring life with a man that you love, and is your best friend without a chaperone isn’t wrong. You aren’t wrong. You aren’t broken. You just weren’t meant for their world. You’re mean for yours. With him in it.

“Oh, god,” you squeak out. Your body tensing with the deep coils of pleasure that wreak havoc on you. “Ari!” He’s never seen you look more beautiful. He’s feasted in on your body, but nothing has ever looked as magical as you straddling him, riding his fingers, and trying to make yourself come. “Ari, I can’t breathe!”

“Yes, you can. You’re doing so good. Making me feel so good,” you don’t know why being stretched, and feeling so full is as earth shattering as it is. And you can only imagine what his cock nestled inside of you will feel like. But my god, this man. This beautiful, glorious, amazing man.

“Come on. Let go, Darling. Let go, and come on my fingers. I’m waiting for you. Just you. Only. You,” the damn breaks, and you let your body gush on him. Mewling out his name, and nonsensical words as the most amazing high rushes over your entire being, and you melt on him.

“Fuck. Fuck that was hot. I’ve never came like that before,” you just mumble, nuzzling in closer to him. Feeding off his warmth. “Only you make me feel like that.”

“Mhmm,” there is another hour of driving, and you’re so sleepy. What is he going to do with you?

“Come on,” he sighs, helping you off his body. You can lay on his now damp leg, and nap the rest of the way. “I’ll wake you when we get there.”

“Okay,” you are the cutest, and still most sexy thing he’s ever seen. He tucks your breasts back into your dress, and coaxes you into a lying position. Letting your head rest on his thigh, and he taps your ass. He’s going to keep you. You’re his now.

If Ari could ball this day up and keep it with him for all eternity, he would do it without hesitation. He would keep this day in his pocket. Your smile is the thing that could keep him going forever. Forget food. Forget water. He just needs you and your perfect smile to get him through the day.

Sunny. Radiant. Lively.

Perfect.

“Stop staring,” you giggle, throwing another dart at a balloon. “I can’t concentrate with you looking at me like that.”

“I can’t help it,” he croons. Ari sits down on the stool, gazing up at you like the work of art you are.

“Ari! I got one,” you screech, jumping up and down. “Did you see!” He smiles, nodding his head, and you jump again. “I’ve never done that before.”

“You’re doing great, Darling. You got some more darts. Keep going,” it’s unfair how you didn’t get to grow up like this. Even if you came here, people would have been gawking at you because of your dress and bonnet. Now they stare for other reasons.

Ari’s eyes coast up and down your body. The ways he wants to wreck you. Obliterate your mind, and make you so dumb on pleasure that you forget your own name. It suffocates him how much he needs you. He’s been so patient, and will continue to be as patient as you need, but you take his breath away just by standing there, and leaning over. That dress — my god, the dress. He wants you in one all the time.

He hears some snickering coming on the other side of you, and leans forward. Two men devour you with their eyes. If it was only that, he wouldn’t care. It’s the whispering they’re doing. Talking about you like you’re an object.

“You think she’s wearing panties?”

“She’s definitely not wearing a fucking bra. Those tits. Fuck me. Knock a dart over. See if when she bends over they spill out. Whatever lucky fucker gets that tight pussy,” it’s annoying, but he doesn’t want to cause a scene. And you aren’t paying attention. Taking a deep breath, Ari stretches before he stands.

“Sweetheart, you want to keep bouncing those tits?”

“What?” “Hey!” You and Ari say at the same time, and he pushes your body behind his. Blocking you for their view. Let them say that shit to him.

“If you knew what was good for you, you'd keep your mouth shut.”

“Maybe keep your bitch covered, and men would be treating her like a fucking slut.”

“Darling, let’s go. What did she win?” He glares at the game operator, and the young boy hands over a bunny. Nervously he looks over to the younger men, wanting to say something, but just looks at Ari pleading.

“Yeah, you and the fucking slut better run,” the man was dying to get hit. And Ari is trying to avoid arrest, or upsetting you further. He notices you pulling up the top of your dress, and wrapping your arms around your body. The once confident woman who felt beautiful, now wants to hide in her own skin.

“What are you going to do? Take her out back, and fuck her like the slut she is?”

Ari growls, and spins around to look at the two men. Clearly drunk off cheap beer, and the need to want to feel pain “Ari, let’s just go. It’s fine. I won a bunny.”

“Yeah, listen to your stupid slut. Ow, you fucking asshole!” the boy holds onto his nose before falling onto the ground. Screaming and crying about the pain that Ari caused. Baby.

“Ari!” It takes one hand on his shoulder to bring him out of his anger. The drunk young man lays on the ground, clutching his face. “Let’s just go. Baby, I’m right here.”

“You asshole!” The other man on the stool stands up, and walks away. Ari knows the stupid man probably has some outstanding warrants and does not want to be caught. “God, that hurt!”

“Baby, look at me,” his scrunched up nose finally softens, and tenseness in his forehead eases. “Hey, I’m okay. Ignore that stupid man, and let's just go back to the hotel, okay?”

“But you didn’t get to ride all the rides.”

“I didn’t want to,” your hand rubs over his chest. While it should have terrified you to see Ari like that, it also put you at ease knowing he would jump to your defense. It is sexy to see him defend your honor, “I just want to be with you. We had fun. I got the bunny. Let’s just head on back, okay?”

“Call me baby again,” his mouth finally turns up in a weak smile. You’d call this man whatever he asked you to.

“Baby, let’s go on to the truck, yeah?” nodding his head, he lays down a $100 bill, and nods to the game operator. It’s the least he can do since the big baby on the ground is still groaning and carrying on.

The boy is lucky that you had the ability to stop him. Ari had every intention of crawling on top of him and not stopping until he was unrecognizable. Nobody was going to talk to you that way. Ever.

“Darling, you look gorgeous tonight. You don’t look like a slut.”

It wasn’t the worst thing you’ve ever been called. It’s the old thoughts that the Amish have put in your brain. If you give men something to desire, they will. They will want, and they will take. Vanity is a sin. Modestly is the way a woman should dress. Showing your skin makes you deserve those men to talk to you like that.

“Ari?” He hums, squeezing your hand. “Why does it feel different when you say those things?”

“What?” He asks, stopping in front of you. “Explain?”

“I like when you call me a slut,” his brows lift up, and he whispers out an oh. “I didn’t like being called a bitch. Unless — you say I’m like a needy bitch in heat.”

“You know you can always tell me not to say those things? We don’t always have to have the dirty talk.”

“I know,” you reassure him by standing on your tippy toes, and pressing a sweet kiss on his lips. “Is that why it’s different? Because I know you don’t look at me and see me as a dirty slut? Because you love — like me a lot.”

“Y-y-yeah,” his voice trembles as he pulls you into his body. “I like you a whole lot,” you sigh, letting his warm sticky body soothe you. “I like you so much I just might just love you.”

“Yeah?” You can’t help the smile that spreads over your face. A smile that he feels on his chest. He makes you happy, and it’s the first time that he has truly realized it.

“Yeah,” he whispers. Ari pulls you off his body and gazes down on you. Using his thumb to gently caress your lips. “I do love you.”

“You can’t say things like that.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

“Because why?”

“Because, Ari!”

“You don’t have to say anything back,” he grins. “But I need you to know. I’m tired of keeping it from you.”

“What if I want to say it back?”

“Then say it,” he dares. Smiling at your slight discomfort.

You feel it. You know it. It sounds crazy. But this isn’t new. You’ve decided you want to leave with the man. You clearly love him. So why is it hard to say it? Why does it feel so overwhelming? “I do, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” his cheeky smile sets you over the edge.

”I do! I just have never said that. I don’t even think I’ve said it to my parents,” that is a sobering thought. You weren’t taught to be overly affectionate. You just existed.

“If it’s that hard, we’ll practice it later.”

“But I do! I love you! And I don’t want to say it later, I want to say it now.”

“Then say it,” he chuckles. Stupid handsome face. It’s hard.

“It’s just hard. It feels foreign on my lips,” but you want to say it. You want him to know how much you love him.

“You know, you already have said it?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You completely did. So if you want to say it again…”

“I love you,” you giggle, collapsing yourself in his arms for a hug, and pulling back. “I love you!”

“Not so hard, huh?”

“Well, the first time it is.”

“It is. Because loving someone means you trust them with every part of you. I’ll protect you, Darling. There’s more assholes like that. There’s more wieners that think they can talk to you however they want. Make you feel inferior for just wanting to make yourself feel beautiful, and they’re wrong. You don’t look like a slut. You look like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Don’t ever let any man make you feel that you have to hide your body. Don’t go walking around nude at the fair, but if you feel comfortable showing off your curves and your body, you should be able to. And only during certain times, can I say those things to you.”

“That’s what I want,” he tugs your dress back down to where it was. Showing off a bit more cleavage, and you still look beautiful and classy. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Darling. You wanna grab something to eat?”

“Nope,” your voice is melodic as you pull at his hand, and walk towards the truck. “I’d rather head back to the hotel, so you can fuck me,” he lets out a long breath of air. “But first, we’re going to make love. And don’t try and talk me out of it, okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I’m going to go take a shower,” your voice is nearly a whisper as you walk towards the bathroom. Ari gives you a nod while he takes his shoes off. Stretching and yawning when he stands upright.

He looks to the bed, and just stares. “Ari?”

“Yeah?” He turns to look at you as you let your delicious dress fall to the ground. His Adam’s apple bobs as he gulps. And he looks you up and down as you stand there nervously.

“That was an invitation to join me in the shower.”

“Oh,” he reaches towards his back, and pulls off his shirt, and tosses it to the side. Ari yanks open his jeans, and pulls them down. Walking towards you in nothing but his boxer briefs. He steps right up to your nearly naked body, pulling you flush with him.

He’s clammy. Dangerously so. You smooth your hands up his stomach, and settle over his heart, “Ari, why are you shaking?”

“I don’t know,” because you terrify him. You make all these feelings that he never thought he would have come to surface, and it’s overwhelming. It’s almost feeling like he’s brand new for the first time in such a long time.

“You’re the one with — experience here.”

“I know,” he whispers, ghosting his mouth over your neck. Pushing open mouth kisses over your sensitive skin. “But I’ve never — been in love,” oh. Oh, that hits a bit different. A lot a bit different. “So this isn’t just sex,” his fingers grip your panties before he slides them off your legs, and waits for you to step out of them. And then you do the same with his briefs. Gulping when his cock springs free. That was quick. Gripping tightly to your hips, he starts walking the two of you into the bathroom.

“It’s so much more,” he lifts you up. Letting your legs wrap around his body as he maneuvers his way to the shower. Your fingers gently pet over him, and you push out every thought of your life. The only thing that matters is the golden tan of Ari’s skin. The freckles that dot along his shoulder.

The way that his cock bobs under you. The ripples of his muscles as he turns the water on, and lets it get to the most perfect temperature. He smells like sunshine, and the sweetest sin, and you commit this moment to memory. Nothing could ever feel like this. This is the moment where your life will change forever. Nothing will ever be like this. And yet, there will come a day when it will always be like this.

Today will be the normal, instead of the exception. You’ll have adventures with Ari, and then you’ll come back somewhere and enjoy his body. You’ll get to have it all. Experience everything with your best friend. The first you’ve ever had.

Ari steps into the stream, and lets the water hit your back first. He gets to physically feel and see your body become even more relaxed. Pliable even. No hesitation. No fear. You want this. You want him. And he’s terrified he’s going to do something to fuck this up. Maybe he already has by kidnapping you, and giving you a taste of the world outside of your community.

Your body curls into him, and your mouth attaches to his skin. Never letting up. Drowning in his scent, and begging for his sin. “Ari?” He hums, and you look up at him through hooded lids. Very little blue is left in his eyes as his lust blows his pupils out wide. “Touch me.”

“I’m afraid if I do, I won’t be able to stop.”

“That’s what I want.”

“Not in the shower.”

“With you,” you whimper. Arching your back you start grinding on him. “I don’t care. Because it’s with you. Ari,” you can’t say his name like that, and expect him not to react. It’s a struggle. He knows how delicate this situation is, and he wants you to have no regrets. But you’re as needy as a bitch in heat.

“Ari,” there you go, moaning his name again. Heating up his body in the best way. Smearing your slick all over his stomach. Pleasuring yourself at this moment while he is just enjoying the show. Watching you move over him. Taking what you need to feel good. But it’s not enough. Never enough.

“Ari,” he wants to swim in your sounds. Just watching you could get him off alone. “Ari, if you don’t put your cock in me immediately, I am going to scream.”

“Darling.”

“Please! Ari, please, I just need to feel you right now. I am ready. I’m not going anywhere. Take all of me. It’s yours,” the admission is enough to send him hurling off a ledge. “I love you, and I want, oh god,” your eyes roll back in your head as he lifts you off his body a bit.

Gripping the base of his cock, he smooths it through your drenched folds. Gathering up your slick like it’s his own personal lube, and he steps closer to the wall. Pressing your heated back against the cold tiles, and he guides his cock right to your entrance. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Keep your eyes on me.”

“Okay,” your voice squeaks out, but your body is relaxed. Ready for whatever it is he gives you. Your jaw goes slack as his tip breaches your entrance, and you forget to breathe. Pressure mixed with an odd sense of pleasure mixed with the feeling of having him closer than you will ever allow anyone else builds up in your core.

“Stay just like this, Darling. You’re doing so well, baby. Just a little more,” pushing another inch in, your voice strains out of your throat. Clawing at his back because you need him close to get through the piercing stretch of accommodating his massive size.

“Thatta girl. You’ve got all of me. Every part of who I am, you have. I love you,” his voice whispers at the end, and you know he was trying to distract you from him pushing completely through. Speared on his cock like a hood ornament, you try and breathe. Trying to gain some self composure, while also trying to feel everything.

It’s mostly a stinging pain, but around it is the buzz of the most beautiful pleasure. Because he’s yours. He loves you, and he’s all yours. Through all his experiences, he’s never given this side of him to anyone. No one but you. In your way, you’re taking his virginity, not in the same way he is yours.

You let out a shaky breath, and Ari grins. “There’s my girl. You’re doing so good. Breathe, baby. I need you to keep breathing. You okay?”

“Yeah,” you muffle out. Your eyes are looking at him, but you’re still not present in your head. You’re thinking too much of the stretch. Oh, the stretch. That sweet glorious feeling of your body doing what it needs to do to have Ari nestled inside your warmth.

“How are you feeling?”

“Floating.”

“Floating,” he repeats wistfully. “Darling?” You nod your head, and he knows that you’re giving him an okay to start moving. His hips draw backwards, and you whine at the absence of him. You’re in a bad way, and you know it when having him not fully sheathed in you makes you want to cry.

And then the sweet moment of him pushing back into you happens and you want to sing. The sting turns into a dull ache, and you nod your head again. Ari repeats his motion. Moving his hips back to pull most himself out of you, but this time his hips snap forward. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, “Yes.”

“You like that?” He pulls himself out, and thrusts back in so deeply and roughly that you know that you are on a high. Everything around you is fuzzy, and all you see, all you feel is him. He repeats his motions over and over again, and the pain turns into pure, unadulterated, filthy pleasure.

“Yeah!”

“Oh, you like when I’m a bit rough, huh?” you like whatever the fuck he is doing. And you cling and claw to his back to ground yourself. Reminding you that you are here with him. Inside of you. “Oh, yeah. You like it,” he’s such an arrogant asshole.

He stabs himself into you at a rapid pace. You could just about drool with the amount of pleasure his body is giving yours. Weak. You are so weak from him. His being. His presence. Him. Whatever he’s doing to you is a bonus. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Just keep doing this,” you moan. Your head leans back on the cool tiles, and you invite the shiver that races through your body. You’re so heated, and beyond saving because you’ve succumbed to the most beautiful sin with no regrets. “Don’t ever stop.”

“Darling,” he starts pushing into you with so much need and desire that you melt into his embrace. Whatever he is doing, you pray that he never stops. “I’m not going to be able to stop. Now that I’ve had you, it’s going to be painful to be away from you.”

“Harder.”

“Baby,” Ari warns. You can’t say things like that and expect him to be gentle. He needs you to just stay calm.

“Harder!”

“This is your first time.”

“Harder!” And he crashes into you. Wave after wave. Over and over. Harder with every screaming pound into you. Speaking in tongues, you slice down his back, trying to find purchase, and not pass out from the immense pleasure.

You don’t even know what is coming out of your mouth, just that you don’t ever want it to stop. You want to die by the hands of his euphoria. You can’t see. You can’t feel anything but this beautiful high. You don’t know where he starts and you begin. Didn’t know an orgasm could draw out this long and make every bit of your body curl in anticipation.

Ari has found the woman of his dreams, and she is right in his arms, taking the fucking of a lifetime. You haven’t run. You haven’t begged for him to stop. You just keep getting softer, and mold more to him. You were made for him. He saw it before this moment, but now he feels it. And he was made for you. He doesn’t know how he’s going to let you walk back to your house. Your home is with him now.

But he can’t keep you. Not like this. But soon.

He can’t think about that. Not when you are clenching around his cock, and your body moves and recoils with his pounding thrusts into you. He will never be the same. Not watching your body drip with sweat, water from the shower, pleasure, and your blood. He won’t ever recover.

“I love you so much,” he grunts out your real name, and you’re so high and floating on a cloud you can barely comprehend it. “I’m going to marry you, and if you want, make cute babies with you, and we’re going to be so happy,” that’s all you’ve ever wanted. Happiness. Freedom. Love. Comfort. Intimacy. Him.

“I can’t breathe when I’m not with you,” you can’t either. You can’t even think about anything but him. With one hand supporting your ass, his other hand moves your head to look at him. “I know you’ve been having some little orgasms,” you’ve been plummeting off a cliff. There’s nothing little about it. “Keep your eyes on me.”

“I can’t,” it’s taking everything in you to not pass out.

“I need you to. I’ve never came inside of someone before. I need this,” you’ll give it to him then. Steadying yourself you watch his beautiful face. The way that the sun has dotted freckles across his nose and cheeks, the lines that show the many smiles and laughs he’s had. He’s so beautiful when he’s inside of you. His only focus on you, and this moment.

“Uhh! Ari!” You scream out at him as you walk to the edge of the cliff again. Ready to just dive into the water as pleasure floods your veins. “Ari!”

With a low rumbling growl, Ari’s cock drives right into the very center of you, you swear it’s in your tummy. Holding it there for a mere second when he succumbs to his release. His load shoots up even higher into you, and your brows knit together as the feeling of him warps your brain. Nothing else will feel like that.

Cock pulsing inside of your fluttering walls, he presses the most gentle kiss to your lips. He’s trembling just as much as you are. And he never offers to leave your body. He just gazes upon the most perfect human that he could ever imagine. You.

“When I come back down, I’ll wash you clean.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he is going to worry about it. But for now he’s going to bask in your post sex glow. Blissed out and more at peace than you’ve ever been, you let your forehead rest against his. “Nothing is going to be the same after this.”

“I don’t want it to be,” there will be hell to pay once you’ve made it back home. There’s no explaining away that you were with Ari overnight. You’ll worry about that later. Because all you care about is the way he’s looking at you. And the way he feels. The way he is.

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @rnurse-kole @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

@pandaxnienke @rogersbarber @buckybarnesisdaddy @theinheriteddutchess @patzammit

@theolivia-1 @steviebbboi @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @kandis-mom

#how i'm looking at you #ari levinson #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson x fem!reader #ari levinson x you #ari levinson x y/n #ari levinson x yn #ari levinson smut #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson fanfic #ari levinson fic #ari levinson fics #ari levinson fanfics #chris evans #chris evans character #red sea diving resort

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yuff7e · 1 year ago

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hi! Can I pls request a one shot of reader comforting the hashira abt their biggest insecurity? Also, can reader pls be gn? Thank you! I love ur work!!!!!

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ comforting the hashira about their biggest insecurity’s !! ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ headcanons + small fic(s) / fluff (??) / angst / mentiones of violence / mentions of self-hatred / TW !!

gender neutral

hiya anon !! thanks so much for requesting this !! it’s so creative, and definitely put me to work (haha) !! i love requests like these where it’s about multiple people :) anywho, enjoy !! <3

the cuties song -> www.spotify.com

₊˚ପ⊹ gyomei himejema !!

- his biggest insecurity would be his immense strength

- hey, who wouldn’t like being strong and being able to beat up anyone in their path ?

- gyomei.

- we all know he’s an extremely kind hearted man, and hates hurting other living beings

- so imagine walking in on him one day, sitting on his knees - silently crying to himself

—

“gyomei? are you alright?!” you rush over to his side and he just sits there, looking into space. you run a hand over his arm in an attempt to get him to look at you, he turns his head in your direction - hot white tears spilling out of his eyes.

“ah, [name]. hello.” he speaks, you stare at his state and ask him what’s wrong - he stays quiet. you question him again, letting him know you wouldn’t judge him. he turns his head forward and opens his mouth to speak - “my.. strength. i am capable of many things, harming people. i do not wish that upon anyone.”

you smooth a hand over his forearm, reaching the beads he was holding in his hands. “gyomei, you are not a bad person. you have not hurt anyone, we’re hashira for a reason. we save people.” - “but demons used to be people too, before muzan kibutsuji - they had a life just like us.” you sigh at his words.

“gyomei, they were the people we couldn’t save. we cannot save everyone, but - saving a few is enough.” his white eyes flick downward toward the floor, blinking slowly. “i suppose. thank you, [name].”

₊˚ପ⊹ tengen uzui !!

- his biggest insecurity would be his inferiority complex

- he shows insecurities toward his fellow hashira, worrying he will never be as great as them.

- because of this, he locks himself away some days and sits training on his own terms

- abusing his mental and physical state immensely.

- imagine walking in on him as he trains himself to his knees, collapsing over and breathing heavy - clearly upset.

—

“tengen?! what are you doing?” you ask, standing in the doorway of his room - he glances back at you. “[name]? what are you doing in here?” he strains, sitting up - placing a hand on his knee. “do you need help?” you walk toward him, placing a hand on his shoulder and he looks back at you once more.

“no, im fine. thanks though.” - “tengen.” he blinks, holding his sword in a shaky hand - “do i look strong?” you raise your eyebrows at his question, “what do you mean? of course you do, do you not think that?” his gaze stiffens when you say that. noticing his stiff demeanor you glance down at his hands, he’s shaking.

“tengen, your abusing your power too much. you need to take a break, that’s why we have a schedule.” - “i don’t feel strong..” he whispers and your eyes widen at his response, “what? seriously? tengen, you are.” you brush your hand against his in a comforting manner, and he smiles weakly.

“thank you, [name]. sorry for this, maybe i do need to take a break!” - “yeah, i think you do.”

₊˚ପ⊹ kyojuro rengoku !!

- his biggest insecurity would be his unwavering will

- the way he wants to protect those weaker than him eats at his brain every night

- thinking of the people he couldn’t save, the people he couldn’t get to in time

- people suffered, because he couldn’t save them.

- imagine waking up and seeing him standing outside, looking at the moon with tears prickling his eyes at his thoughts.

—

“rengoku, are you okay?” you ask, walking up behind him as he stares at the moon somberly. he turns to the sound of your voice, blinking away his tears. “[name]! hello!” he shakes off his sadness quickly once he sees your face in order to hide it.

you notice this, and look at him sadly - “rengoku, what are you doing out here? it’s night..” - “sorry [name], i was just thinking.” he looks up at the moon again, sighing. “don’t apologize, is something bothering you? you can talk to me.”

he turns toward you once more at your reply, “it’s just.. all of the people i couldn’t save! suffering.” you watch him intently as he confesses his feelings, looking into his deep golden eyes. “rengoku, you have saved more people than i can count. more people than i have, that’s such an amazing thing.”

he smiles at your words, his sadness fading as you compliment him. his thoughts of not being able to save some people will never leave his brain, but knowing he’s saved just a few is more than enough for him. “thank you [name]! i don’t know what id do without someone like you!”

₊˚ପ⊹ sanemi shinazugawa !!

- his biggest insecurity would be his appearance

- having to cut himself to intoxicate demons is not anything short of brave.

- but it takes a toll on his self esteem, the cuts across his face, tummy, arms, etc.

- he didn’t really think about his looks after he saw what demons looked like, but it still eats away at him sometimes.

- imagine seeing him training and glancing in a window, his expression changing into an aggressive one at his own image - saying things how he looks disgusting, hideous, etc.

—

“sanemi! don’t say things like that!” you yell, running towards him. you knew sanemi quite well, especially since he was one of the most.. unique looking hashiras.

“[name]?! what the hell do you know? leave me alone.” he continues his training, turning away from you. “i heard what you said, and that’s untrue! you’re perfect! don’t say those things about yourself.” he stiffens at your confession but doesn’t stop training.

“what the hell? so you’re an eavesdropper? now scram!” he slashes one of the dummies heads clean off, you watch as his aggressive demeanor falters for a second after he finishes. “it’s not true, sanemi.”

he stays quiet, looking at the dummy - his face doesn’t change but you see him tightening his grip on his sword. “thanks [name].”

₊˚ପ⊹ giyu tomioka !!

- his biggest insecurity would also be his inferiority complex

- like tengen, he also feels inferior towards the other hashiras

- hence why he says he’s “different” than the rest of them.

- he isolates himself from the others quite frequently, and you begin to worry for him.

- imagine checking up on him and he’s laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling..

—

“giyu.. how are you doing?” you trot towards his bed, kneeling down. you’ve known giyu for a while, having a steady relationship - which has given him time to trust you. he stares for a bit before replying, “i’m tired today, i’ll get up soon.”

you look at him softly, placing a hand on his arm and he glances towards you - “i’m fine.” - “you’re not.” he looks back up toward the ceiling, he looks ill. “giyu, what happened? talk to me.” you squeeze his arm gently and he sits himself up, “nothing, [name]. i’m fine, just tired.”

you wait there, silent. you knew if you waited he’d eventually cave and tell you what’s wrong, and so he did. “i am different from the others, i am not like them.” - “what are you talking about? you’re as equal if not superior to the other hashiras. at least you are to me.” you smile at him, comforting his thoughts.

he sends you a weak grin before dropping it, “thank you, [name]. i will be fine, i promise.” - “i believe you, and please giyu - tell me if something is bothering you. i want to be here for you.”

₊˚ପ⊹ mitsuri kanroji !!

- her biggest insecurity would be her fear of rejection

- she’s always been concerned with the way she looks, acts, and how she appears to others.

- suppressing her true feelings, emotions, and personality in order to fit in.

- her being concerned that no one wants to marry her is a big deal to her, and it eats away at her constantly

- imagine you’re hanging out with her, and she asks you a question that makes you question her state of mind..

—

“[name], do you think anyone would want to marry me? be honest!” she asks, her cheeks burning - waiting for your reply. you look at her with wide eyes, chuckling at her question. “what do you mean? of course someone would want to marry you.” - “you’re not just saying that, right?”

looking into her eyes you can sense her lacking self esteem, you ask her why she feels like that and why is she asking you such a question? she falls silent, clutching onto her skirt - “it’s just.. what if i get rejected? i want to fit in y’know!” she confesses, tears prickling at her inner corners and you quickly go to console her.

“mitsuri! don’t be stupid, anyone would want to marry you! honest. listen, if i could marry you i would in a heartbeat! you’re the best person i’ve ever met.” she stares at you, then she begins to smile. “thank you so much [name]!! i just want to live happily ever after with someone.. y’know what i mean?!”

“yeah, i do.”

₊˚ପ⊹ obani iguro !!

- obani has many insecurities, but his biggest ones would have to be his appearance and background.

- growing up, the clan he was in never made him feel good enough. torturing him beyond repair.

- he’s grown up feeling worthless, and the scars across his mouth state just that.

- he can’t even look in the mirror without disgust, nor have friendships & relationships where he doesn’t feel inferior

- imagine seeing him without his mask on for the first time, and he freaks out - telling you how sorry he is for you to have witnessed something so horrific…

—

“[name]! sorry! i—“ he stutters, quickly reaching for his mask to wrap around his mouth - you just stare at him. “obani.. you look..” he cuts you off, clearly panicking.

“no, i know what you’re going to say. you don’t have to tell me twice, i know how disgusting i look.” you gasp at his words, there’s no way he just said that about himself. “obani, no! i wasn’t going to say that! you look great.. how can you ever say that about yourself?” you hurry over toward him, grabbing ahold of one of his hands.

“you don’t think so?..” he whispers, looking back at you with his yellow and blue eyes. “yes obani, you look amazing! i’m glad i saw you, now i really know what my friend looks like… and it looks great.” he smiles a little at your words, a pink hue laminating his cheeks out of slight embarrassment.

“thank you, [name].”

₊˚ପ⊹ muichiro tokito !!

- his biggest insecurity would be his forgetfulness

- i mean of course he would probably forget that insecurity because he forgets everything… however

- there are days when his mind is more clear, and he realizes all of the things he could achieve if he was always like that

- some days he wishes to himself to give him the ability to remember things more clearly, his friends, his things, his family.

- imagine finding him one day, seemingly upset over something you weren’t too familiar with until now …

—

“muichiro! hello!” you jog toward the boy who’s kneeled down on the ground, staring into the grass “hello? muichiro what are you doing?” you place your hands on your knees as you try to get a good look at his face, his cheeks were flushed and wet.

“muichiro? hey are you okay? talk to me.” you kneel down beside him and shake his shoulder a little, causing him to look at you. “huh? oh, hello. who..” he trails off, looking into your face - you look back at him sadly, he had forgotten you.

“muichiro it’s me, [name]. what are you doing? are you alright?” you ask, pulling your hand away from him and placing it onto your lap. “uh, i don’t know. i can’t remember.” he looks upset again, suddenly - a tear rolls down his cheek. “muichiro!”

“sorry, i just can’t remember.” he coils over and wipes a hand against his eyes, “i don’t know why i can’t remember.” - “muichiro it’s okay, please don’t cry. you’ll be alright, you’re here with me.” you smile at him and he looks up at you, his eyes glisten.

“i suppose, uh— sorry what was i talking about again?”

₊˚ପ⊹ shinobu kocho !!

- her biggest insecurity would also be an inferiority complex

- she’s extremely insecure of her physical body, and how she’s not as strong as the other pillars.

- she curses herself for not developing further, and wishes she could be as physically strong as the others …

- it eats away at her confidence and self esteem, locking herself away from the others wasn’t uncommon

- imagine having a deep conversation with her, and she admits to feeling ashamed of her physical body to you…

—

“what? you really think that?” you gawk, and she nods. “i’m quite ashamed, really. i wish i was as physically capable as the others… i trust you with this knowledge, [name]. do you think so too?” she looks into your eyes and you can’t help but feel your heart silently breaking for her.

“no, i don’t. that’s absurd that you think that! you’re quite beautiful! why would you ever think that about yourself? you are just as capable as the others.” she smiles sadly at your words, looking down into her lap. “i suppose.” she sighs.

“don’t beat yourself up for it, seriously. i can tell you one thing, i know for certain you’re smarter than most of the hashiras here..” you laugh a little at your own comment and she does too.

“thank you, [name]. that really makes me feel better, you’re a great person. i’m happy to have you in my life.”

—

that’s it! i’ve finished :) this was really fun to write!! i love writing for the hashiras but tend to only do it when someone requests since it takes up a lot of my time to get through all of them - and i like to post fast. hope you’ve enjoyed !! <3

REQUESTS : OPEN

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #hashira #hashiras #the pillars #demon slayer hashiras #hashiras x reader #gender neutral reader #demon slayer x female reader #demon slayer x male reader #hashiras x female reader #hashiras x male reader #yuff7e

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