#but i can't get food rn so its going to have to suck it up and get through the day 👍👍

[altruistic-meme]

ah. Hm. don't like THAT.

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[etheries1015]

BOOK 7 SPOILERS BELOW

I finally decided to suck it up and catch up with twst book 7, I stopped after seeing Silver cry because I'm sCARED OF BEING SAD 😭😭 anyway here's a few reactions I had to it 😭

And hearing about the update coming soon-ish to ENG servers I really need to read up

Lilia pressuring Epel like the old man he is 😭😭 I love the moments that they remind us just how old Lilia actually is and how he sees most if not all the students as if they were his children/grand children, making sure they get the most out of the party and drink...its giving "What do you mean you're not hungry? Absolutely not. Here Is at least 5 servings of whatever dish I made to help u grow big and strong."

Okay I didn't take a screen shot of it but the entire section where Lilia looked kind of guilty with Ortho about exchanging addresses because you just KNOW he probably isn't gonna check in, presumably because he doesn't want anyone to get More attached to him seeing as he is nearing the end of his life span (crying shaking throwing up)

THIS. THIS. THIS INTERACTION HE HAD WITH US. I LOVE HIM. I AM SO SILLY FOR HIM. I totally forgot I changed my in-game name from my nickname to my REAL name and when he said my name I verbally yelled "WHAT THE HELL" before giggling and kicking my feet hehehehe I'm clinically insane for him

But the fact that he acknowledged us as Malleus friend probably means we've spent a lot of time at the dorms or around Lilia for him to see how our friendship and interactions with him work, and it melts my heart hehe. Being part of the diafam fr. But honestly bro back me up, I'm tired of being called a hench-human 😭💀

I wonder just how bad we must look with everyone noticing the strange shift??? Either we REALLY made a scene (tripping over, going pale) or the twst boys are just that attentive to us and I think that is the sweetest thing ever 😭😭 Ace and Deuce is so sweet for thinking of us and trying to get us out while also being polite to the people who kindly held the party. Despite not being there long, ace and deuce is willing to skip out on free food and drinks in order to make sure you're okay and I'm just 😭😭 ANGELS. I LOVE THEM.

But also the way Lilia worries for you is so sweet 😭💜 I should write a fic of sick reader and Lilia, or reader trying to tough it out because I know for a FACT Lilia would not let that slide! (Hypocrite 😐)

I ACTUALLY DROPPED MY JAW WHEN SEBEK SAID THIS SHIT. I WAS. WHAT. WHAT THE HELL LMFAOOOOO 😭 thats fucking insane bro I actually found myself chastising him thru the phone, I would NOT let that discrimination against humans bullshit pass fr 😭 slap him right upside the head and give him a stern talking to. I like seeing Lilia get frustrated, he's so cute and UGH. Although it went in one ear out the other, Seeing Lilia mad is so hot if I'm being real with y'all rn BUAHAHA.

I didnt screen shot this either (and I can't fit anymore photos on this post smh) but Silvers nose being red and obvious he was crying but Lilia confused. DudE OF COURSE he was crying!!! You're his dad!! You raised him since he was a baby, he's just now going into adulthood and doing that WITHOUT HIS DAD who is going to a far away land! Sure, traveling is a thing , but honestly nothing beats having that support just a moments away. Silver is literally the sweetest and wants to support his dad , but who's going to support him????!?! Lilia is putting him in a position where Silver feels the need to be strong and hide his tears for Lilias sake, but of course this is hard on him, its so sudden, too! Being so close to your parent and next thing you know mere days later they are stripped away from your arms?!

I just want to give them all hugs. Lilia obviously has some issues and misconstrued ideas of love (a million people have made posts and comments on this, so I will not repeat it) and I just. Need them to all sit around and be their mediator while we go thru their emotional states.

Ugh. I was in my twst burnout stage and still low key am, but fuck does it spark so much passion in you 😭😭

[instructionsnotincluded]

Man I think just about all of us are dying here GIVE US SOMETHING!!!! ANYTHING WILL DO! A SCRAP A PIECE A LEFTOVER ANYTHING??

🫢I sound exactly this when I beg my parents money for food

I just had this random thought. I can't sleep rn I gotta get up in like 3 hours lol but anyway,

I was thinking abut this and you know how you said Bucky drew her a bath right after, imagine that happening but like there's no sexy time, if u know what I mean🫣

Its just them talking and conversating in a bathtub!! Probably about Buck, Frank's new missions or her past yk stuff u talk about with someone you love when it's past 1 AM. I love their dynamic so much it just makes my heart melt!!

I WAS SERIOUS ON THE SCRAPS THING THOUGH!!!

Also this is so irrelevant but Mamma You've been on my Mind by jeff buckley reminds me so much of Bucky!!

SCRAPS YOU SAY….?

@karashawsblog here’s the excerpt as well:

18+| Explicit scene below:

Frank laughed softly, eyes still closed as Bucky kissed her temple, carefully avoiding the bandage still pressed to her skin as his finger slipped just a little further inside her, “I just thought you tired yourself out last night.”

“Got plenty more fuel to go again this morning.”

Frank giggled playfully, her laughter transitioning into a soft moan as Bucky slipped his index finger all the way inside her, slowly stroking her walls as she clenched tightly around him. “So tight,” Bucky whispered into her ear, “suck me in, Stella. You’re fucking soaked.”

Frank moaned again, biting down on her lip as Bucky began thrusting in and out, her hips rocking into his hand to try to get a little bit more friction. She felt her hips roll, her entire body urging her to get more—telling her she needed more. “Need you,” Frank eventually moaned out, head lulling against his shoulder, her hand snaking back around to wrap around his length, squeezing the hard skin between his legs, “need more.”

“Ran out of condoms,” Bucky grunted as her thumb swept across the head of his cock, his middle finger sliding inside her alongside his index, “I’ll have to go get some more in a bit.”

“Don’t need one,” Frank lifted her leg, Bucky’s fingers sliding out from inside her, the pilot’s hips pressing into hers as she felt him at her entrance.

“You sure about that?”

“Mhmm,” Frank arched her back as Bucky’s hands slid across her thigh, the head of his thick cock running along her folds, “just get inside me.”

[totallynoteggos]

lol hey this is just a vent post abt my life rn I don’t really expect any on u to read this

Tw if you do read this: talk of Anxiety, ppl not understanding neurological limitations, talk of vauge self exit and SH (its very minor) overall vent post shit

Sorry u have to see me in such a shifty mental state but I need to get this off my chest before I resort to violence

Once again, not KND stuff this is a Vent Post

I’m not neurotypical by any means I'm on some spectrum but all we know so far is that I have OCD and Anxiety. Also I'm going into the 9th grade which that In of itself is a stressful situation but in the last four years I've never stayed in the same school so seeing the same people is hella new to me. I have this really bad habit of going no contact with people after the school year is over because I usually never see them again. My mom can't seem to understand that there are simply things I can't do because of the anxiety & OCD (and I'm not using this as a reason to act out or defy her) abt 2 weeks ago we went to get food, now usually I order my food to make sure I get what I like and not have a mixup. And pls notice this was after a week long “vacation” that ended up being stressful and draining. But anyways there was a mixup and I ended up with a burger with all toppings instead of plain, which caused me to panic because I was hungry and stressed before already. And instead of trying to accommodate she stood firm in her beliefs that I need to get over it and just eat the damn burger. And I heavily insisted on not eating it and eating the fries instead. After a argument (and at the instance of my grandma) she bought me another burger and while in line I told her outright that there are some things that I physically can't do or else they send me into a panic. She that said that she “gets that” but I don't have to act out In front of my grandma which she idolized. And now like I said with the whole start of school she's saying “it wont be your best years if you don't let it be your best years” but I don't think she understands that I don't know how to do that. I've moved around a lot and I've been made fun of a lot due to my interests, hobbies and simply just to be the clown. Most of the people I befriend end up getting annoyed or just keep me around until I say something that doesn't make me the dumb and “quirky” one. And like I said I suck at keeping contact and now everyone still has their old friend groups and mine just see me as a joke or weirdo now. Its stressing me out so much and its only been two days, hell yesterday I would have thrown up from the stress but because I was so stressed I didn't eat shit so I didn't throw up. School stresses me out so much it's unimaginable, its the people, the sounds, the halls, the fact that people won't leave you alone, someone always talking or screaming, just please shut the fuck up so I can learn and be out of here. And god its so fucking hard not feeling what everyone else around you feels. My moms getting upset at me for not wanting to go on the busses when I have gone on one and it left 20 fucking minutes from my house cus the lady was screaming and I got scared as was about to cry. And now she wants me to try again with kids I don't fucking know who some how don't know personal space or manners. And back to the emotions things, why the fuck don't I feel the same as them, god I feel so fucking robotic compared to my mother and everybody else but they also make me feel like a god damned mutt. On one hand they think it's weird that I don't want to talk or to Interact but somehow don't realize that it's their fault I don't want to, and on the other hand whenever I'm upset or angry and actually show it its MY fault. Because apparently since I'm the youngest of my family im supposed to have the personality of pinkie pie and I have no problems. And because I'm quiet, friendly or just shy and I'm supposed to control my emotions because I'm a “young lady”. I've tried talking to my mom about home school because my school has that as a option but she says that I can't hide when she's been doing that too. Sometimes I feel like she cares more for the happiness of those she wants to impress rather than that of her family. But god if all of life feels like this then count me out cus its too much to be alive right now. I think ima take a shot or three of night quill and hopefully sleep until ITs to late to go to school

Goodnight

[ncityavenue]

…can I request smt with Jeno like going on a picnic date that leads to him getting all touchy and needy…?

Oooo this is cute!

Warning: Suggestive, kinda pervy!jeno ???, hinting switch!jeno

─────────(.◜◡◝)

It's 81° outside, you and jeno decided to go on a picnic since the weather was so nice. You laid the baby blue towel on the green grass while jeno had the food baskets in his hand placing them on the corners of the towel so it won't blow away.

"So glad I decided to bring sunscreen." Jeno spoke breaking the silence. You watched him take the pastrami and cheese sandwiches out of the baskets and the fruit bowls along with the sugary sodas and occasional energy drinks.

"Damn it's 81° degrees going up to 90°" You squint your eyes at your phone from the sunny vision.

"Got the water." Jeno smiles shaking the two bottles in his hand.

You smile back at him before he settle down sitting right next to you, he eyed your figure as you took pictures. You matched with him today wearing a pink body fitted dress that only came up to your thighs with white lacing on the hem of the dress,slits on the sides of the dress exposing more of your thighs. You had a mini sweater that previously was on you but it got too hot so you wrapped it around your waist. The white lace also coming around your boob area, your cleavage being on display.

"You are so pretty." Jeno says kissing your cheek, he placed his hand on your thigh kissing you more. He grabbed your attention enough making you turn your head so his next kiss was connected to your lips.

"Jeno—lets—eat" You say in between kisses.

"I can't when you look this good." Jeno says sneakily snaking his hand on your waist, his neediness made you slightly slip on your hand. Jeno kissed your neck sucking at it leaving small marks.

"Oh my god Jen— we're in public!" You squealed trying to have him think rationally.

"What's wrong with a boyfriend just kissing up on his woman?" Jeno questioned before smooching your exposed chest. At this point, you just let him smooch on your exposed skin. You guys were situated by a large tree that had a nice shade, the large log gave you some what privacy from the rest of the open land and past byers.

Jeno's sneaky hand buried itself under your dress rubbing circles on your clothed clit generously, you gasped as you couldn't really believe your boyfriend was doing this sort of thing.

"You are so pretty, please moan for me baby." Jeno pleaded, he kissed behind you ear and you let out a whine but it was barely audible.

"Oh c'mon love I know you can do better." Jeno added pressure to your clit, his other busy hand fondled its way to your breast.

"Jeno— I'm- we are in public" You cried out, Jeno just hummed to that as he felt a new wetness stick to your panties. He snatched his hand out of your dress, you were confused that why he stopped so soon since he was menace and loved to see you suffer sometimes. That's until you seen a family walk past you two, he flashed a smile at them and so did you trying not to looks so suspicious.

You glanced at his tense body, you realized his hard on and you decided to take matters into your own hands. You glide your hands over his erection sensually, kindly jerking off the dick print on his Grey slacks. His hands flew to yours trying to pace you but you didn't budge.

"Oh shit please—" Jeno held in a breath, you raised an eyebrow.

"Please what love?" You smirked at his slight submissive actions.

"Please let me c-cum" Jeno squeezed his eyes shut before returning them back to your lewd acts.

"Cum? I barely did anything baby" You said with a toothy grin.

Maybe this was one of those days jeno was going to let you take the lead.

─────────────(.◜◡◝)

I'm so sorry that it took me so long to respond, I've been kinda busy and the lack of ideas to make this decent was not registering, so, if this is not as good I'm super sorry I'm very preoccupied as of rn.

[fairycosmos]

sorry for the #UKthings rant but ive gone private for mental health stuff but are trying to get my foot in the door with public stuff because i cant afford mental health over stuff like, having food to eat, but ohhhh my god. nhs please. next week will be week five of an eight week deal (maybe some kind of assessment? i'm not sure what the exact point is) where i have a meeting with a mental health nurse and there is nothing more demoralizing on my journey to more stable mental health than hearing from her that all it seems i do is push people away and reject help. i'm sorry that saying that i dont think downloading an app is going to help me!! especially since i've already got one that i have been using. lol. i've tried to determine what it is she can actually do to help me because i feel like this whole thing is wasting both of our times but all i really get is "well i'm a mental health nurse not a psychiatrist so i can't help with that" OKAY !!!!! what CAN you do!!!! god. god . chloe do you know what a mental health nurse's role is? do any of your followers know??? how am i meant to work with her best rn i really dont know...

omg no honestly i could go on about this FOREVER!!!! but for ur sanity i won't. i'm so so sorry they're messing you around like this when it comes to something as serious as your health - i've had very similiar experiences and honestly at this point i see our healthcare system as nothing but a cardboard charade rather than a system that seeks to provide genuine support to people but that's a whole other thing. i'm on like a million waiting lists for various different things and i think if i do end up getting through to someone it is very much going to mirror your experience i.e dull platitudes and empty promises. they expect you to download a mediation app and get over severe mental illness and the fact that you're struggling with that is truly reflective of them and the state of the country - not you or your ability to heal/get over things/whatever other bullshit expectation they force onto us. i haven't worked with a mental health nurse since i was like 17 for this exact reason like they do not offer the consistent, in-depth and intensive help a lot of us need and their answer to everything is to try yoga or drink more water and it's like, how are you even SUPPOSED to work with that?? one thing i will say is that venting to these people and just letting that be their position in your life - to let you get off some steam - is somewhat helpful but obviously doesn't confront the underlying issues. through this she may come to understand that you showing up to these frustrating sessions and talking IS you trying, is proof of you not "rejecting help." it's wild she would even imply that honestly. i genuinely hope you find a treatment plan that actually does delve into why you feel this way and what you can proactively do about it - which you do deserve, but i know it's not super realistic to think that the nhs in its current state is going to provide you with. it sucks and it feels so fucking hopeless, i've never even entertained the idea of getting serious help for yrs because of this and i totally get it. if you need a friend or someone to talk to about this, please don't hesitate to send me a message fr. i feel like we're in super similar positions rn and it truly is its own type of hell. x

[liquidstar]

(quotes i like from your WIP 2/4) "However, she also stops to look into the bag deeper, foolishly expecting to find something new. Instead, she only sighs, 'Still no food.'" this is so human... it's so human nature to check and double-check the cupboard or fridge multiple times even though no one could've added food :'| but it can also be so awesome when you think there'll be nothing there but you actually simply missed it the first time... so thorough, polaris, i understand you 🥲 i like how this + polaris having not given up on fishing that easily hint toward her having a hopeful personality!

you used lots of strong, emotionally evocative verbs, like "trudges forward" (and later, "Escaping this ordeal, the lone girl abandons any further attempt at fishing," "She whines aloud," "pursuing the promise of a village" and "a glimmer of determination returns to her stride"), and i love how polaris's hunger is something you keep revisting, bc while she can distract herself from it for a bit by humming, and while she gets distracted by her panic for a bit, the reader can't forget that she's still hungry. which is great!!!! it's putting us in her shoes. she can't forget she's still hungry. after the failed fishing attempt, she also has Got To notice her clothes got wet, and she's cold now too T~T 

YEA!!!! thats a good analogy w the fridge. and polaris would absolutely be the kinda person who opens the fridge 20 times expecting there to suddenly be food she wants in there, even though there wasnt the previous 19 times.

i think i like being dramatic with all those verbs i cant say it was a super CONSCIOUS choice other than "this feels right" and i guess feels is the keyword. plus shes really getting her ass kicked by these woods rn so its going to be a lot

but i did try to make sure the hunger was a constant! the fact that shes hungry is genuinely important later on because it affects her stamina and mood. and it also sucks because shes aware of it! but she does eat eventually so dont worry 👍 this is just her no good awful very bad day

[tiredflowercrown]

Rant under the cut

Pls don't reblog

I'm am so sick and tired of being this exhausted and fatigued. Because one week I will feel perfectly fine and like I'm on the other side of the hill. Then the next I feel like I can barely move or eat or do any of the things to help stay alive. I am constantly fighting a battle with my mind and how I interact with food, which sucks because i don't even have a term to use for it cause it's not an ed, the term better used is disordered eating. But how do you explain that to people. My parents don't get it because they are the same way and see nothing wrong with it. This past week I've been forcing myself to eat just for my meds to work properly. All I'm eating is fucking applesauce and cheerios, and I'm having to force that down. It's the worse because I feel hungry and have the urge to eat, I just can't. Everything is bad and things that might be good are contaminated and icky and moldy. Even if I know that they probably aren't. Every time I try to describe this my parents keep saying well its your brain you control it. Like no shit it's my brain. However, my brain can and has, in fact, made me throw up because it didn't like the food I ate. Just about every calorie I have in a day comes from soda. THATS NOT GOOD. Especially when I forget to brush my teeth just about everyday. And I know snice drinking is easier that I should get protein shakes or something but the idea of new is so terrifying that I can't do it. I know that there's powders you can add to food to get more nutrients, but again I can't add them. If someone else were to add them then tell me later that would be fine and then maybe I could do it on my own. But my parents insist that I have to do stuff like this on my own because I shouldn't burden people with that responsibility. I know I'm probly malnourished of some sort, but getting the testing to find out is both scary and expensive. I'm already about to try and see if there's a medical reason outside of my mental illness for my forgetfulness. I can't afford to many medical bills rn and neither can my family. They're saving for trips for my grandma because it's probly the last trips she'll take. I've had to fight so hard to get the diagnosis that I have. And my mom is so sure it's one thing but it doesn't match my symptoms and it could still be a problem with that organ but I don't want to go through several rounds of testing. I also am not sure if I even want there to be something wrong with me because knowing that and too what length it affects me could restrict how I can work or go to school. Just ugh. Wish I hadn't been born in a screwed up body.

[orbees]

Complaining etc

=____= wish I knew why specifically I'm feeling so shitty I guess it's school stress catching up with me cause I've pretty much been like GO GO GO all this month not rly having enough time to recuperate. And I just gotta hang in there a little longer but I wanna Rest Now also the weather's always rly crazy this time of year and the constant hot cold changes keep agitating my fucked up bones and so my chronic pains been pretty bad this week

Also im pretty sure I caught something cause I ran out of masks & w/ the state randomly deciding to cut our food stamps we have literally no spare expenses rn it sucks so bad >_<

I'm also rly. Frustrated with my mom because okay. So I'm not walking for graduation cause shits expensive and so my mom told me she wants to have a party which I thought was rly sweet actually cause my parents usually don't give a shit about my school accomplishments but instead of having it at my grandmas place like I requested she just Ignored that and set it at my aunts place instead. So my shitty awful cousin will be there and so it's like awesome this party is ruined before it even began 👍its like now this gets to be something I actively dread <3

And idk when I'm struggling my brain likes to do this fun lil trick where it channels all that stress into self loathing I guess bc I can control me even if I can't control all that other shit but it doesn't help at all it just makes me feel shitty about myself when I'm already having a hard time. So I just am feeling really crappy about myself rn and it rly sucks

It'll all get better next week when I'm done with school I know but trying to get to that finish line has been Rough

[hyunverse]

ik it’s so embarrassing 💔💔 i remember that week being not the best so maybe i was just emotional in general ?? idek 😭. i also cry over fluff more than angst. i read angst when i’m like at a rly low point bc it’s almost kinda comforting ……. idk dw bae i sound insane rn too ! we pretty much have the same favorite cereal bc if i had to choose i’d get the chocolate rice crispy ones (or honey nut cheerios) and i LOVEEEE milo. my nana from australia always sends it over and it’s delishhhh. so nostalgic. YES spanakopita is life, it is so so so so good. lmk what you and your mom end up getting ^_^ that sounds so fun i love eating w ppl

ITS THE HYUNE BODY ROLLING SO TRUE. i like when he dances with short sleeves or sleeveless tops bc the arm muscles just make me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 insane !!! i’ve been wanting to watch a new movie so maybe i’ll watch howl now ^_^ i’ve heard a TON about it and i think you just fully convinced me hehe. do you have any other movie or show recs ?? i’m not a big movie or show person but im tryingggg to watch more stuff so tell me any of your faves

oh yea i could slander america as a professional job. like don’t get me wrong i’m extremely grateful to live somewhere where i can get a good education and just like survive but at the same time … i’m barely surviving ?? all our money goes to stuff that doesn’t even benefit us ??? idk man i’ll keep going if i don’t stop myself BUT YES PLS all the mcflurries 🙏🏼. possible unpopular opinion but oreo mcflurry dipped in fries = chefs kiss. it’s an underrated combo fr

i would pay MONEYYYY to experience one skz dance practice but hyunjins alone oh my oh my oh myyyyy. i don’t think i’d survive, his clinging would be ineffective bc i’d just be 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠. smth about the way he dances just GAHHH. YES CONFIDENT MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE YONGBOK he’s so cute 😭😭😭😭 i love his korean name it’s adorable

i watched the live when i woke up this am and it was the cutest thing ever <///3. felix looked so bf and i swear the There music video made it WORSEE. the parasocial vibes rly smacked me in the face and said grace u need to wake up and accept you can’t have these men 😔

spamming once again gahhhh can u tell i’m bored <///3. im stuck inside for another day bc nyc is having a rly bad snow storm rn and it’s torturous lol. as much as i love being in my bed all day, it gives me a raging headache every timeeeee

- 🐈‍⬛ kisses 4 uuuuu i hope ur sleeping well ^_^

i've never tried honey nut cheerios but now i kinda want to?? lets see lets see. going back to my campus this saturday so i gotta stock up on my food stock 🫡 i'm gonna try honey nut cheerios hehe. milo is good but i can't drink it that much bcs its best mixed with milk and im lactose intolerant </3 i mean i do consume dairy anyway but milo and milk is a deadly combination. one sip and you're gonna end up with diarrhea. even worse when u have lactose intolerance. god lactose intolerance sucks so bad, especially when i love dairy </3 life is a war game and the toilet is my battle field. </3 aaa me and mumsies ended up not getting breakfast bcs we didnt wake up on time LOLL love that 4 us 🤞

sleeveless tops on hyune always look so good. his arms are so nice, the type that isn't frail nor too muscular, he's just nice. dont get me started on his hands yo his hands are pretty big too and his fingers?? majestic. slender and pretty. makes me dizzy just watching it 😵‍💫howl is incredibly good, u reaaaaaally need to watch it <3!! mmm for tv shows, i really like gilmore girls and jujutsu kaisen. or if you like romance, u shud try out horimiya!!

I UNDERSTAND ABT THE MONEY THING... malaysian road taxes r no joke. youngsters going broke frm paying taxes is CRAAAZY. fries dipped in vanilla ice cream is so good so i get u!!!!! it's the mixture of sweet and salty 🤌

when hyunjin does a lil smirk while dancing... im frothing drooling melting. like bae stop i will get through this phone screen and kiss u 😭 so pretty. YONGBOK IS SO CUTE AND YES HIS NAME!! I LOVE WRITING HIM AS YONGBOK BCS I LOVE HIS NAME SM... i also love jeongin's name. it's cute and suiting for him.

the live c hdbhs i was fixated on seungmin the whole time... was just staring at him dreamily like... 💭 he made a mess but i's ok bcs it's seungmo!!

THE THERE MV OH MY GOD GRACEEEEEE. I'LL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT. HYUNJIN AND SEUNGMIN'S PART GOT ME GIGGLING!!1 also can i just say that the settings suit them so much? it feels like it's actually their ideal date. jeongin with the shopping for clothes, hyunjin with the camera and channie in the studio... it makes so much sense. omg what if it IS their ideal date? bye im gonna combust. why are they parasocializing with us!! its making the delusions worse!!!

talking abt parasocializing, felix needs to calm down. bro was wiping at his mouth and stuff r u indicating that we just made out?!?! not very pg13 of him. i heard he spams om bubble too 😭 he needs to find a gf his bitchless behavior is getting worse 😟

ur spam is always entertaining so dw!! i take my time with it always cs i wanna put thought in my words hehe. sorry to hear abt the storm :(( i hope ure staying warm <3

[bitchkay]

Ok, hear me out: food play with Rio 😳

I can very much see Rio covering you in Saligian honey and just devouring his snack, but what if you decide to pull the Uno reverse card on him? He's very much a giver, and it's about damn time you *did* pull the Uno reverse card, you decided. Of course, he also wants to taste you, so you tell him he can. Cover your chest in some of the honey and let him lap it up. Once he finishes, lay him on his back, drizzle the sweet liquid over his body and slowly, borderline torturously run your tongue over each and every square inch of his beautifully toned chest that was covered in honey. You were saving the best part of the meal for last: his dick. Pour some of the honey over his ballsack and his length and tease the most sensitive spots. Just before he comes, remove your mouth and let him cum to his heart's content inside you

Oh anon great minds definitely do think alike☆

You know how long I been writing this

Sometimes I truely think we've all thought of these lewd things about these characters but are just too pussy to say anything about it

Luckily I have no filter😋

Like bruh look at this

Anon dont play with me, I will finish this fic rn

I got school tomorrow but idc I carry my laptop everywhere, I'll fucking do it, don't think I won't

Rio make my brain so stupid.

Anyway, plot of the fic is literally Rio made some good ass honey buns and they all nice and sweet and sticky and just nice overall yeah but then you drop some honey on your chin cus them buns got bare on honey on them but they good yk nice and syrupy then Rios like 'oop I'll get that😁' then fucking licks you and then like suddenly you're naked. Yea. There's honey in all places honey probably ain't posed to go but it's there its sticky and its sexy as FUCK and yall have sweet passionate love.

Yea

But anyway

Let's lick honey off Rios abs yea

That sounds so nice

Rios probably real sensitive

...hold up my brains melting

Trailing a path up his stomach over the curves and contours of hard muscle

That shit would make me horny--

Rios brain is literally short circuiting

Hes just looking down at you while you do it and he literally can't think

rio_voleri.exe has stopped working.

You're the only thing in his sights and you're like angelic to him

Sinfully angelic™😋👍🏽

Even when you're licking honey off your own hand and using the slick to jerk him off he thinks your pretty

(He might even go as far to say your prettiest in this state😳)

How is he possibly supposed to contain himself when you lick his tip with honey sweetened lips, fingers slick with hot syrupy nectar?

Imagines this☆:

Your body's stuck together. Sticky with sweat, cum and honey on your bodies. It was messy, needing to change the sheets after the fact got multiple reasons. You licked his neck as Rio kneaded your butt pulling you down on his cock, also sticky, but you weren't sure it was cum or honey, at this point though you didn't care. That's a problem for future you to figure out. You both hand your head buried in the others neck biting and sucking the other skin, trying to taste all you can of each other. "Augh... I-... I need more of you." Rio mumbled into your skin before pushing you on your back, pulling out, following a trail down your body before latching onto your pussy. "RI- RIO!" Everything about this is sloppy. The way you desired each other was without restraint or much thought, being manhandled to your gluttonous partner's delight. Tasting and licking the others honey sweetened skin, heightened the pleasure and senses. "Ah! You're so- Rio I'm-" Rios dick stood tall and strong leaking pre from his tip, glistening in your arousal. Your gripped on his hair as Rio devoured your cunt, strong arms holding your legs wide open. "I'm gonna-" "More." "Rio I'm gonna cum!" Lapping up your sweet pussy juices Rio crawled over you, pushing his cock back into you. "Shh, your okay, I got you." He didn't move, rather warmed himself inside you as you calmed down, holding your body close. "So good... your so good.. so sweet... on my tongue.."

[starsdailyjournal]

Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 1!

Today (sunday) I woke up at like 12:44 am or pm idkkkk but it was when the sun was up and like my dad had asked me to call him and since I have like ptsd I tweaked out but I brushed my teeth first because like I'm trying to get myself into the routine of doing that now. Anyway I called him and he just wanted me to like make my sister breakfast and put the food we made in the fridge but like he rlly freaked me out by just texting me "Call me when you wake up.". And he said he was getting us pizza which is now one of my least favorite things to hear from him (because of the c-a-l-o-r-i-e-s and because I'm really bad at expressing grattitude to him since we are sorta close (he is my bio dad I've known him all my life its complicated). But anyway I made my lil sister (10 yr old nerd) an awesome omelet with mozerela and sausage slices AND a cheese crust idk how to explain it basically I put cheese in a pan after I made the omelet and when it was still melty and not hard I put the omelet I already made on it and the I folded the whole thing when the cheese was cooked!! I bet it was yummy idk tho but anyway after that I scammed someone on adopt me (l-o-l) for like an fr panda, r sloth and nfr or nr hydra they got 20k rh diamonds tho soooo yk its fine!!! I was gonna scam sum more but like I got stuck trying to figure out how to use razer cortex (because royale high is so laggy on this dumb laptop) and I was stuck on that for hours legit untile dinner!! but while I was stuck on that my dad came home and gave me some chocolate which was nice but it also sucked because I CANT express grattitude its rlly hard for me bc I'm too grateful that I feel like if I tried to put into words the gratuity I feel I would spaz. BUT anyway I haven't eaten the chcolate yet (also its dark chocolate and if u dont fw dark chcolate ur ai generated) but I did eat 2 slices of this rlly oily garlic pizza for dinner just now! it was gross and I lowk cant stand that it's in my system (iykyk) but I can't do nun abt it BUT I am starting my fast rn and it should last this whole week!! So that'll make up for this but erm IDK ahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like talking abt eating but this is an honest journal... Should I add TWs?? Bc I rlly dont wanna I be sleepy at night which is when I'll be typing these out. Omgeee also like I've wanted to go back to being quarantine level chronically online 4ever now bc I love doing that in the summer but my dad has parental controls on all my stuff (including this laptop) so I cant go on disboard n stuff to find online friends to give me entertainment n stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I FOUND A WAY YALL!! I'm just gonna be ROBLOX chronically online tho I am a robloxian already (since 2018) I want to be one of those ppl who are always on it yk (thats why I was scamming today n trynna unlag royale high) SOOO when I'm not studying I'm gonna be scamming and trading in royale high and adopt me!!! Maybe I'll try n make sum friends but rn I'm focused on the games I'm already planning on getting my dp from starpets n I have a decent halo + ltbs on rh n all my dream stuff besides 1 set n 2 accesories!! so like I'm prettyyy good but I wanna get REALLY good like those ppl who have 5 owls and 8 parrots lolz! And I literally love roblox and everyone who plays it (besides anyone with brainrot humor ironic or unironic idc) everyone else are so cool!!! So like yea and I have 30 dollars that I'm prob gonna use on robux I might try n get headless bc my mom pays me to do computer science courses and my dad pays me half of whatever my mom pays me!! Honestly I feel like journaling is sm fun rn i love talking but nobody ever listens screaming into the cyber void is so fun!!! Also I'm gonna likeeeee eat my chocolate after I shower rn probs and then my fast starts!!! ALSO omg halloween is coming up!! I'm def gonna be a vampire! If anyone enjoyed my journal tell me what your gonna be for halloween!! Omg if my journal/blog gets big I would call the ppl who read it bats!! that would be sosososo cooool ANYWAY FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

[horce-divorce]

OK I found something delta 8 is actually good for. So, when I'm having a REAL bad MALS flare, it hurts to be hungry as much as it hurts to eat. Like, my stomach growling literally causes so much pain that it makes me panic as much as eating does.

weed is the thing that gives me an appetite. the ONLY thing. my body doesn't produce a natural appetite anymore, just nausea and pain, thus why I can't eat w/o an appetite stimulant (cannabis). the munchies literally keep me alive.

except for when I'm already flaring, like right now. I've barely been able to eat solid food for a week, and even liquids hurt. Even breathing hurts. I'm so nauseous I can't even sit upright. I'm dizzy, my head is fuzzy, and im in a constant state of presyncope.

If I smoke weed right now, I will actually get so hungry it'll be counterproductive. Because right now, I'm not feeling my hunger. My body is starving, but as long as I don't smoke, I don't feel that hunger, and the hunger pangs don't start.

As soon as I smoke, a week's worth of near-starvation is going to hit me all at once, and my stomach will he ROARING with hunger, and it will hurt so bad and make me so nauseous just to breathe that I won't be able to get up and eat; instead, i panic from the level of utterly relentless pain im in, my HR spikes and i get an adrenaline dump bc my POTS already flares when my MALS does, and then I crash and pass out. I know because that's what happened last night, and countless times before.

So I've been avoiding weed today because I'm so hungry that I'm terrified to feel it. Which means I get no relief for my other symptoms either. (I'm aware that it's counterproductive not to eat, MALS is infuriating.)

But the thing is, d8 doesn't make me munchie the way weed does, it's part of why I don't like it. But one thing d8 does better than weed is nausea control. It does almost nothing else. I do get some level of cbd effect from it, but I need a thc-type component with it or it doesn't work. Most of the time d8 just makes me Not Nauseous and nothing else. There's like a smidgen of pain relief but not much.

But today, I REALLY needed the nausea and cbd effects without getting "high" or hungry, (I don't get high anymore but know. The other effects besides nausea control) and the d8 is actually helping a lot. Its rather gentle compared to weed, which normally I hate, but today it's perfect. It's not making me hungry, which is actually making it possible for me to walk around and like, drink my milkshake without it making my nausea worse, because my stomach isn't going "HOLTFUCKIGJSHIYIMSYARVINGFEEDMENOOWOWWWWWWWWW" and then not being able to handle it/instantly barfing it back up when I do.

The downside is that both of them make me cough, which is also incredibly painful right now, and edibles don't work for me, so most of those are out. If I can suck on it/dissolve it in my mouth, I'll get something out of it, but even then it takes 100s of mgs to get me to the dose I need, and most edibles only come in 100-200mg packs because for a rec user thats several doses.

And that's all a moot point rn anyway because we can't go to the dispo lmfao. We need to be back in Michigan for so many reasons. When I have consistent access to weed these episodes happen much less frequently, bc I can more consistently keep myself on solid food. Not always, but much more consistently. Would also be great if we had a home and like, a safe and sanitary kitchen we could use for our needs but I guess that's asking too much

[sputnikodin]

re: the watcher anger

i know $6 a month isn't a lot in the united states, but they have a pretty international audicence and with currency exchange, $6 is a lot. like in hong kong that's $50 a month, mexico its 102 pesos a month, in the phillipines that's 345 pesos a month, in argentina that's 5,221 argentine pesos--you get the idea. hell, i live in the us and i can't even afford to spend an extra $6 a month 😭

i agree on paying creators fairly, and i know watcher has 25 employees who deserve to paid. but the channel already pulls in over $100k a month from patreon alone; they also make bank from all their sponsors and merch sales. i mean, one of their main series is steven lim eating expensive food like gold flaked beef. i mean, he has a new tesla!

idk it just feels like that ceo thing where they aren't happy with consistent success, it needs to be increasing success. but ofc idk them, i'm just an outside observer so idk the full story, etc.

first up -- i actually think $6 a month IS a lot for some people in the US & have talked in private w friends about how i wish they'd started at like, $1-$3/mo or smth because even that would make it more affordable for a lot of their fans :-) just to clear that up! $6 is a lot when most streaming services that offer way more than 2x as much content cost like 2x as much on average (i think? the only streaming service i have is for baseball, i pirate everything else so idk). $6 a month is also a lot, Period, for many people, regardless of context. it's the principle of paying for it at all that was my main point in that post

to everything else -- great points and i appreciate the info and your perspective. re: money i know $100k/mo sounds like a lot + they have the other revenue sources you mentioned but i think it's important to keep in mind that they're not just paying for their own/their employees' lives but also funding the shit they make -- travel, gear, production costs, everything they need to buy for the videos etc. like it's not JUST 28 paychecks that the money is going towards but also the necessary costs of the job itself. not to mention that at least shane steven and ryan live in a super HCOL area ($100k/yr for a single person is literally considered "low income" in san francisco lmao & i dont even wanna know what it is in los angeles). they could still be making bank, idk! i have literally no idea what their finances look like, i'm spitballing the same as everyone else. but i think shit costs more than a lot of people realize

i have zero argument with the frustrations with how expensive this will be for their non-usamerican audiences, i'm really sorry that they didn't roll out different prices for different locations or like ... seem to take that into consideration at all. like i said in the original post, i have no beef with anyone who is personally upset about getting priced out of content they love. honestly my only point here is that i do not doubt at all that everything they release on watcher will be uploaded to piracy sites by people w accounts & that everyone anywhere who is capable of piracy (ik some countries are harsh about it but # of countries where it faces strict repercussions < # of countries where watcher's pricing is prohibitively expensive afaik) will be able to access it, and i bring that up more in hopes that it's encouraging for people worried about getting to still watch their content than bc i'm trying to argue anything

ultimately i still think this was not an outrageous thing for them to do & i empathize with people who are pissed and sad with the Way this is going down but i still at the end of the day think we gotta adjust to artists wanting & requesting to be paid regularly and directly for their work cuz that is the world we live in rn. it sucks but i can't get mad at them for it

[eevyerndracaneon]

Hey, I don't mean to intrude or anything, being a stranger on the internet and all. Don't feel the need to answer this ask or anything but, I just hope you can hear me out and maybe something I say can help a bit... I've seen some of your posts today, I'm sorry you're going through the ringer. I've got a good couple of friends who deal with the very similar struggles and whatnot, so I just wanted to say pretty much what I always tell them regarding some of what you're feeling. I dunno your specific situation, and I know a lot of things are way more difficult to just outright fix than some people will say it is, so I'll keep this more general. And some of what I will say you might already know, but I feel they bear repeating. First off, your worth as a person is not tied to your ability to make money, or work a job or anything like that. You are a person, and that makes you valuable. No person or thing can ever take that from you. Second, never feel bad about wanting to interact with your friends and loved ones. Even if you're in a bad mood, I'm sure they'd love to spend time with you. Social needs are just as important as any other need, so do not feel guilty of them, and don't hole yourself up if that's not what you need right now. A friend of mine (and I do also to an extent) does this all the time and after they always reflect that it only hurt them.

Third, I'm sorry about whatever issues you're dealing with, with family or otherwise, I know how difficult that can be. There are no easy solutions, but, like, you just gotta keep carrying on, you know? Even if there's no option out today, there might be one down the road. On a lighter note, I think your art style is charming! I think you could get some commission work if that's something you wanted to do, it's less on your skill and more on confidence and a bit of luck, I think. Even if today sucks, it doesn't define you tomorrow and not all days will be like this. None of what you're going through defines you or your worth as a person. You've got this, and your friends and loved ones have your back. Keep on being you, A concerned stranger

ah right i did vent really hard on here huh, thanks for sending this out-

i've been vague overall with my posts bc im just going thru it today so some of what you've said doesn't apply but i can't fault you for it, since i didn't rly explain anything

i've tried for a few years now to have art as a job that i could maybe help pay for rent with if i ever moved out, but i just didn't get enough comms to even get to that point. u-u i'd LOVE to just draw for money but it just didn't rly work out the way i expected. maybe i'll give it another shot, i dunno (I'd have to increase my prices again for 2023....)

the house i live in rn is the one belonging to my partner's family. so i live with my partner. my boyfriend is long distance (i'm polyam if that hasn't come across with some of my posts) and i desperately wish i could live with him as well. my partner's family is amiable, but not exactly super friendly or welcoming. especially not if i was openly trans. (they have a trans daughter but refuse to treat her with respect so she cut herself out of their life years ago) my life is kinda trapped in my partner's room, in a corner, so i really don't feel like i have a home. it sucks, but at least im surviving and have a roof over my head and food to eat and warmth in the cold and cool in the heat.

you're completely right on the social front. i think a lot of us forget this. my boyfriend and a friend of mine both reached out to me an hour or so ago bc they were worried abt how i wasnt around like, at all, and i basically got the same thing from them. "its okay to be around, we can try cheering you up"

and finally the big one. i understand capitalism is trash for making us all think we need to make money to deserve life. i hate that i need to make money to be able to live on my own. luckily im not sitting here thinking im worthless solely bc i cant get a job or make money. but i need money to get a place to live in on my own, apartments need rent, houses need mortgage payments, and then food and bills and all that crap. i need a job for that to get pulled off. and i've been trying to get a job! i've been applying to places since the beginning of december! but no place has accepted me. i've gotten like three interviews. nothing else. its just really infuriating. all of my friends, even my boyfriend, are getting new opportunities, new places to live, new goals new motivations new everything. and im just kinda stuck.

today was really hard. all of these feelings welled up over the past half a year and i think just finally crushed me into the dirt today.

so its just kind of a sad day. im doing what i can now to make it better even if only by a little bit. but oof.

thank you anon for popping in and checking up on me, it means a lot <3