#but i can also tell in my heart and in my soul

[suiana]

yandere! officer who holds a rather high rank in the military. he's proud of it too! i mean, it's the 1800s. how many men do you know that hold the rank of an an officer? and a high ranked one too at that! not many, that's for sure.

yandere! officer who's ALSO your childhood friend. how convenient is that, huh? you would hate it if he was also your fiancé, huh? 😂😂😂 i mean, what an absolute COINCIDENCE that would be... oh yeah, did i mention he was the one who proposed marriage? not your father, not his father. him.

"father, must i really get married to him? he's just my friend!" yet, your words fall on deaf ears as your father merely lets out a sigh and shakes his head. damn it, there's no getting through to him. it's like he's already made up his mind. "I've already told you, he's a good man to marry. you should be happy that such a noble man wants you." yeah, noble status. that's all there is, huh? it's not like you can say anything though. you're just the child of a small no name noble, who are you to reject someone who's highly respected in the military? but hey, at the very least it's your childhood friend that you're close with. you're sure that he just wants your friendship out of this. it's not like he's madly in love with you or anything...

yandere! officer who's definitely in love with you. you don't even have to be a genius to know that, just looking at him will tell anyone and everyone that he's madly enamoured. and as always, everyone but you knows it.

"you love me?" your breath hitches, eyes widening as you feel a warm flush creep up your cheeks. no way... he... likes you? your childhood best friend who's been showing obvious signs of a crush ever since the two of you were kids? "yes... i would think that was obvious by now." his words are flat, face deadpanning at you. despite the exasperation in his tone, his eyes are soft and the corner of his lips are upturned. "you are the only one in my heart, mein liebling."

yandere! officer that has a different side he shows to others and one reserved specifically for you. he only ever bears his heart and soul to you, his future spouse. he could care less for others, you come first and foremost. sure he might have pledged allegiance to the nation but you're his one and only. he'd betray the country if it's for you, throw away everything he's worked for just to make you happy.

yandere! officer who has discovered your... apreciation for his uniform. he finds it interesting to say the least. oh, so you think he looks attractive? he doesn't get what's so good looking about his uniform but he'll gladly wear it more often if you like it so much.

"schatz, i need to change out of my uniform-" "just give me a minute..." your fiancé could only look down in silence as you stared intensely at his attire. you're doing it again. he doesn't even know what you're doing, just staring at his uniform with your pretty eyes and serious expression. he thinks you're appreciating him but he's not quite sure. you never say anything after all. all you do is simply stare quietly. you don't even as much as touch him! "you can... touch, y'know? you don't need to just stare." he sure hopes you do. what he'd give to feel your hands on him... and he's pretty sure you want to touch him too. or maybe you want him to touch you? "can i?" "of course you can. we are to be married anyway." "nah... i think I'll just... look..." man. looks like he's going to be just standing here for a while, huh? oh well, as long as you're happy. it's not like he has anything better to do anyway.

[thespianinthebackcorner]

I think part of the reason this narrow definition of "canon" is also part of why people are so incensed about other stuff that has degraded fandom culture nowadays too. Along with a lack of media literacy, people have begun to expect things served to them on a platter exactly as it says on the tin- but that's just not how art works. You cannot have a functional clock without the gears, and good art has a great many gears hidden beneath the surface. For a piece of media to operate at its full capacity and do what it is meant to- in this case, serve as queer representation- you cannot show every single gear in the clock, and often- especially in modern society, where it is still for some reason a dangerous struggle to have that queer representation included in mainstream media- sometimes it is better, necessary, to hide the gears and let the audience figure out the true nature of the clock and what makes it tick the way it does. It's a very recent phenomenon that media has begun to be blatant about their representation and allowed the characters to be obvious about who they are, and people are taking this openness for granted and not looking back to see how we got to this point.

This also means people don't learn to see what is and is not good representation, as when you learn the structure of the gears and how to spy the right kind of a clock, it becomes easier to find the gilded models made only for money and not out of love for the craft and the purpose. If you do not learn to find the "hidden" representation, the gears just below the surface, you cannot possibly learn to find everything below, all the mechanics that make the gears turn, the source of the energy- and, in turn, you cannot recognise a good, beautiful, clock deserving of your love and worth the time and effort made to make it, and you cannot learn to tell those from the cheap imitations made to trick people into buying half-broken clocks with no soul behind their creation, only greed. I myself, as of now, can often only find the mechanics of the upper layers, the more obvious things, and often have to be told what is and is not good representation by those who are more experienced. But it is a skill you must learn and hone, as the more you learn to recognise the maker's mark of a good clock, the more you learn to discard the fakers and push them to do better.

As artisans like I am, it is even more vital a skill, to recognise what you may be unconsciously putting into what you are crafting. I can create a few levels deeper than I can recognise, but analysis of your own work- and asking others to analyse it for you- is necessary to grow this skill so that not only do you avoid mixed messages, you can fight biases hidden further than you might be able to see at first. This is still something I need to learn and hone, too- I still have some internalised ableism, and I've had to come face-to-face with that as I write my first HMS fic (hence why chapter 2 is taking so long, sorry guys. I didn't know it was there until I started research for Heart). I have to learn to discard it and put the effort in to ensure I don't accidentally write that into the story as a subtextual message, and that isn't easy, but I'm learning. And so long as I keep learning, eventually I will overcome it and by nature learn to see and create even deeper into the gears of this clock I am just beginning to craft- and all the others I haven't started and haven't finished and haven't yet come across but will in the future.

I hope this analogy makes some sense.

Discussions of what "counts" as "canon" queer representation fall apart the second you start talking about media older than about five years or so. If your only metric for "canon queerness" is a character looking directly into the camera and explaining their identity in specific, modern, US-American-English terminology, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like. If your barometer for what counts as "canon" requires two characters of the same gender to kiss on-screen, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like.

Dr. Septimus Pretorius (portrayed by Ernest Thesiger in 1935's Bride of Frankenstein) was never going to look directly into the camera and explain his sexuality in 2024 terms, but he remains an icon in queer media history. You cannot look at that character (blatantly queer-coded in the manner of the time, played by a queer man in a film directed by another queer man) and tell me that he isn't a part of queer media history.

To be honest, even when discussing modern queer media, I would argue that the popular idea of what "counts" as "canon" is very narrow and flawed. I've seen multiple posts in the past few days that say the Nimona movie is "implied" trans representation, and I just...no, y'all, it's not "implied," it's an allegory. The entire damn movie is about transgender struggle, and the original comic is deeply tied into N.D. Stevenson's own queer journey. It isn't subtle. You cannot look at that movie and pretend that it isn't about trans struggle. It's blatant, and to say that Nimona "isn't canonically trans" is a take that misses the story's entire message, and the blatant queerphobia that almost kept the movie from happening. (I wrote a five thousand word essay about the topic.)

Queer themes, queer coding, queer exploration, and queer representation can all exist in a piece of media that doesn't seem to have "canon queer characters" on the surface. Most queer characters are never going to be able to explicitly state their specific identity labels, be it due to censorship or just due to the fact that scenes like that don't fit in some narratives. Some stories aren't conducive to a big "so what's your identity?" scene.

Explicit, undeniable, "this is my identity in no uncertain terms" scenes are very important and radical, and I'm not saying they shouldn't ever exist. I am saying that you can't consider those scenes the only way for queerness in a piece of media to be "canon."

[noxiousgrace]

I'm not sure who said it first, but the theory that krs is the red dragon has been on my mind for days now

And it would make so much sense if that was the case

Like what's a better twist than finding out the man who ended the white stars bullshit is also the same being who was used to start it all?

And the fact that krs was able to be affected by white stars curse is so much worse now

Imagine sherrit finding out her child was hurt by the same thing she created to protect him 😭

This also places immense suspicion on the god of death, i mean it never made sense to me that the white star was just able to "pass his curse around" like a sickly virus just because he stole someones body. It sounds more plausible to me that the god of death never added the rule "this curse cannot affect anybody else" and then used it as a loophole to curse KRS.

The curse was a punishment for an oath only dragon slayers have made, what the hell could be more targeted and specific than that??? And now you're telling me this random guy from raon has to live with it in korea cuz the white star took his body before that soul got to inhabit it??

The only person who can break a curse is the one who made the curse and the person who wanted it to be made (in this case the GoD and Sherrit)

And in the sealed test choi jung gun says "the god of death is trying to hold the curse back from affecting you"

Excuse me??? He can't dispel his own curse?? I don't believe that at all. Also krs had nothing to do with the white star since he was born, so why is it impossible to remove him from the effects of it?? The god of death had about 36 years to figure out how to make it go away, and he just couldn't?? I smell bullshit

Sherrit also said that the red egg was affecting it's surroundings before it was born, the dragon inside would've been powerful to extents she probably couldn't even comprehend

It makes more sense to me if the GoD just wanted to get rid of any competition/ "wrench in his plans" and used the excuse of protecting sherrits children to create the perfect scenario to take out 2 birds with one stone

GoD does seem kinda stupid when we see him but it's always the mfs with that kind of act that are the most suspicious, also he literally became a god?? If he can do that, then he's more than capable of setting up some kind of intricate plan to get what he wants

Anywho, there's also other things I've noticed:

1) never accepting park jin tae as king until he proved himself, krs has never submitted to anyone without a valid reason for doing so. Which would seem kinda weird cuz he spent 90% of his upbringing being beaten into submission. I've only ever seen an attitude like that in dragons or just stronger creatures in general (coincidence? I think not)

2) this has been stated before but his affinity with dragons is crazy + he's constantly being mistaken for one 😭

3) the GoD called krs a mutant, we don't know why yet but being a human with the soul of a dragon is a pretty valid reason to call someone a mutant. (Especially if that mutant was able to activate a small % of its attribute)

4) i don't have anything to back this up with, but instant being his attribute instead of a power he got on earth would be pretty cool, just using it for a little bit is enough to injure him because it's meant to be used by a dragon as powerful as the Red one.

----

Imagine eden finding out that the heart he ate to become a chimera belonged to the person who saved him 😭

Imagine the rest of the dragons finding out cale henituse is a "dragon" that will literally die from using his attribute because he's living in the wrong body 😭😭

---

Cales honest reaction to that information:

[velidewrites]

Would u ever, hypothetically, consider perchance maybe possibly adding ur oc’s to character ai or smth perchance maybe hypothetically?

I need to box Marcel. Like straight up fist fight to the death.

^ but like in a flirty way yk? Like “omggg stopppp you knifed me??? Stopppp you’re soooo badddd omggggg can’t take you anywhere!!!! We should kissssss!!!! Just kiddinnggggg but like maybe not??? I’m down if u areeeee, just jokessss(no it’s not)”

Hi Anon,

I would not. I do not condone AI in any shape or form, and will absolutely not use it for my characters (or any characters, honestly), whether it be for chatbots or anything else. I also appreciate that you like these characters, but if you’d like to see more of them, you can always ask me — the creator who draws and writes for them — to depict whatever scenario you’d like to see those characters in. Some people have been kind enough to request x reader, and I’m more than happy to work on that as, again, I’m so genuinely thankful for all the engagement on these OC. But anything involving the use of AI is something you will never see on this blog.

I’m also not suggesting that you, specifically, ever would do this — I know you’re just excited about the characters and I’m deeply appreciative of that — but I’d like to use this ask as a general PSA: if anyone feeds these characters to AI, I will take everything down so fast. AI has infiltrated fandom spaces in a way that is so harmful to creators, and I will not support it: I would rather cease creating altogether than sit idly by and not react at all.

Lastly, I know I do not and should not have the power to tell anyone what to do, but as both an artist/writer and a member of a fandom community, I’d like to urge you to consider engaging directly with creators for art, fics, and everything in between. We all do this for free, and we do this to build up our communities — we will never be angry/offended to see people ask us for more. We’re here to engage with you! But coming to us and ask to engage AI, which is soulless by its very nature, in the work we’ve poured our hearts and souls into, is something I will not stand for and would seriously ask you to reflect on. I will not take my hard work that I’ve put my time and creativity into to a machine that solely exists to reduce my work into a few seconds of emptiness. Thank you!

[jd-loves-fiction]

Hey there! I might have an oddly specific request, but like. I am craving a trope but I am too lazy to write anything myself. Feel free to not accept this :"D

Could you write maybe like a *micro* oneshot about Boothill finding his past lover (from before his planet got nuked), but here's the thing, the lover did an ftm transition, so Boothill may have not realised at first.

And secondly, there is a child. Boothill's, but he had no idea.

The circumstances under what they reconnect is up to you. Wether it's fluff or angst, also.

Thank you in advance, cool writer person!<3

🌑felt that first part😭 ALSO this idea is so good rAAAH I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IIITT (idk if this sucks but i hope i did this wonderful idea justice my dear, i poured all my love into this ❤️)

ALSO ALSO listened to 'Would you fall in love with me again' on loop writing this cuz the vibes are immaculate :)

Warnings: Spoilers for Boothill's backstory, mention of reader pre-transition as 'her' once but by male descriptors everwhere else, I have no experience writing ftm reader's so forgive my ignorance and let me know if I did good if you can 🥺

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 / 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠

The saloon is lively, crowded, not Boothill’s usual scene but fate or whatever sorry god is in charge of his path brought him here. His mission is complete and he’s exhausted – so out drinking he goes, even though he can barely feel the drink’s effects anymore. He supposes it must be the principle of the thing, a sort of tradition that helps him not lose his mind along the way.

Boothill scans the room by instinct, seeing dancing couples fill the entire room up to the corners – some slowly, some so fast it’s as if the universe is about to implode. A flash of a memory stings at the back of his brain, but he ignores it.

“Uhm! Mister!” Chirps a high pitched voice from below, clearly directed at himself. Looking down he spots a chubby-faced little girl, at which he raises a brow. Why a girl her age would ever think to approach him of all people in the saloon, he cannot imagine.

“Can you help me up, please? I wanna ask for some water,” she asks, polite but determined.

“Oh, well of course little lady!” He responds, gently holding her up and placing her onto the stool, once the cloud of nostalgia is gone from before his eyes. She just looks so familiar… The particular shade of brown of her eyes–

“Thank you mister!” The girl says brightly, sitting all cute and proper as Boothill waves the barkeep over, “It’s no trouble. Whatcha doin’ here, anyway? Y’ain’t alone, right?”

“Oh no mister, I’m here with my papa!” She replies cheerfully, pointing to the center of the room where the most people gather. Between swaying bodies he finds who she points at – twirling a giggling old lady is who Boothill suspects is the girl’s ‘papa’.

The cyborg cowboy no longer has a heart, nor a chest really, but it feels as if it stops in that moment. You don't spot him yet, lost as you are in your own little world, twirling around as sweat builds at your hairline.

But to Boothill everyone else fades as the pieces click into place – a grassfield beneath a starry sky, the love of his life before him, his flesh and bone hands around her blushing face… your face… no matter how you’ve changed, it’s you, he’d recognize you anywhere.

He must be seeing ghosts, surely. The girl’s father must just look like you, that’s it, it has to be, you’re dead… you have to be.

But Boothill knows in his soul that it is. You’re right there, dancing without a care in the world, changed and yet the same.

“Mister?” The little girl to him again, grasping at one of his sleeves and he turns. Her eyes, that particular shade of brown… it’s his, from when he was still flesh and blood. His head hurts. He feels drunk and crazy, maybe he should stop drinking after missions.

“There you are! You should’ve told me you wanted to rest,” You lightheartedly tell the girl, panting as you wipe sweat from your brow. From this close he’s sure it’s you, but Boothill still feels a little crazy for his thoughts. “Made a friend–?!”

The moment your eyes meet his, Boothill is finally sure it’s you. And he can tell you remember him too. Both of you seem stuck in time, gazing at each other like you’ve seen a ghost, which maybe you have, all things considered. The both of you should be dead.

Your mouth opens to speak but no words come out and you’re aching for a glass of water of your own. He’s here, alive and…

“You’ve… changed.” Boothill says lamely – so many things he wants to say, things he should’ve said long ago, things he would’ve said if he knew you were alive all this time.

“S-So have you!” Your voice cracks as you gawk at him, “You’re all… metal?”

Boothill chuckles, nerves eased by the familiarity that settles over the two of you – seems you haven't changed where it counts. “Yeah… it’s a long story.”

“Well, all I have is time.” He can tell you’re still upset with him, perhaps you will be for a while– heck! He’s upset with himself! He should’ve gone back for you, checked, double checked, triple checked!

“Just tell me one thing first;” The cyborg asks, watching as the girl sprints off towards who he assumes is a friend of hers, “Is she…” he points at himself.

“... Yeah. Her name’s Julia.” You tell him, sitting where she was, shoulders still tense as you watch him closely. He’s still as handsome as always, more rugged perhaps, more tired and grim, but the sight of his face still makes your heart stutter with affection. 

Boothill sighs heavily at the information, like the air’s been punched from his lungs, slumping over the bar and covering his eyes. You, alone as your planet burned while he went off to punish the ones who did it, was a heartbreaking enough picture to paint, but with a child? His child?

If they hadn't taken his tear ducts, he’d be filling the saloon up to the ceiling with his tears.

“Hey now, you can cry about it later, ok?” You say awkwardly, knowing you might start crying too if he does. 

He does as you ask, finally raising his head to look at you properly. You’re as beautiful as he remembers, of course you are. You could never stop looking so unfairly stunning to him, never.

Squirming in place as his cybernetic lock onto you, you feel the need to fill the empty space between you – as much as you wish to act like nothing had changed, a lot had, “How did you… recognize me?”

He finds it to be an odd question, of course he’d recognize you, yours is the only face he seems when he closes his eyes, haunting the few dreams he does have like a siren’s song beckoning him to linger within the memories of a better life before he became what he is now, “Y’haven’t changed that much.”

You blink at him, suddenly self-conscious, “... haven't I?”

Oh no, you look upset. He should’ve just said what he was thinking instead of whatever that was, “I– I didn't mean it like– I mean, you look great! Fudge I–”

You’re laughing, open and bright and lovely. Laughing at him no doubt, but laughing, “W-what– why do you– Fudge?”

“Ah, well, that’s part of that long story I told ya’bout.” He replies bashfully, because yeah, it would be strange to hear that coming out of his mouth to you.

Catching your breath and wiping the tears from your eyes, you smile fondly at the cowboy, “Sounds to me like we have some catching up to do.”

The farm boy in him wishes still that nothing had changed, that he could wake up from his dream and lay in the field beneath the stars again, hold you against his warm chest like always and have no IPC blood caked under his metaphorical nails, only dirt and sand from a hard day’s work. But the galaxy ranger he is now likes it better this way – change is inevitable and all things considered, this is one of the more fortunate outcomes of your story. 

You’ve both changed, but not where really it counts.

“That we do, sweetheart.”

[estellemilano]

3 ships i like?

clexa (the 100), hilson,my babies♡(house md), rip (agggtm) [can you tell im obsessed with these lately?]

First ship?

bensler (law and order svu my baby, I watched it before I ever watched a Disney movie, love my dad for that)

Last song I heard?

washing machine heart by mitski♡

fav childhood book?

PETER PAN PETER PAN SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS

currently reading?

And Then There Were None by Agatha christie (reccomended by my pooks scarlett^^^) and agggtm by holly jackson (ALSO RECCOMENDED BY HER♡♡♡)

currently watching?

Law and order svu (like 50th rewatch my soul show), house md (first serious rewatch), as well as the rookie (3rd rewatch), NCIS (first watch) and also law and order (the original) first watch and at the same time the good doctor (2nd rewatch)

[Can you tell i like police and medical shows?]

currently consuming?

fish and rice yummy

currently craving?

sour apple boba and orange cake

Tags!!! @starry-scarl3tt @ihopeicanchangethislater05 @billi-ashli @avianhasnodignity @wilsonteav @h0use-0f-lies @scoutartzz all of you lemme know if you don't wanna be tagged anymore :)

9 10 Fandom Folks to Get to Know Better

Thanks so much for the tag @schofielded !!

3 Ships I Like

Okay so I’m currently writing for Anderperry so they have to be at the top of the list, Reddie is my beloved which I fear will follow me throughout my life so they’re next, and hmm idk what to put for my third one since I like to read for a lot of ships and have barely written for others. I think I’ll go with a surprise pick and say Boreo! Tragic gays for the win

First Ship Ever

Omg I actually cannot say it was too embarrassing. The first one I’m willing to say is Larry which is also embarrassing and I regret it but I fear the fanfic was so good sorry.

Last Song I Heard

Drums of Death by FKA Twigs. I am addicted, something about the beat is just so good.

Favorite Childhood Book

This is kind of hard for me because I mainly had author phases as a kid rather than just one book that I adored. Looking back, though, I would probably say The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo was my favorite. Her descriptions were so good that it made me want to eat paper like the mice.

Currently Reading

Four Minutes by Nataliya Deleva! It’s a queer Bulgarian novel I’m reading for my around the world goal and I’m really enjoying it so far!

Currently Watching

Just finished watching Swing Girls (2004) so I’m counting it since I’m between TV shows right now. Anyway the movie was so cute and feel-good, I definitely recommend!!

Currently Consuming

I had fried chicken for dinner if that’s what this is referring to. Anyway it was good!

Currently Craving

A strawberry limeade with added coconut and cream from Sonic 💔 I don’t have my car rn so I am stranded sadly

No pressure tags: @neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies @vinesandvellichor @good--merits-accumulated @lc-27 @axe-76 @dreadedwhim @poetrusic1959 @yawping-poets-society @scriptscraps @neilperryismine + open to anyone who wants to join!!

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Thirteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Slight mention of someone taking their own life in this chapter, please read with caution!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

A soft breeze blew through the redness of my hair as I ascended up the stairs to my home. The front door was freshly painted yellow, one of my favorite colors, and when I stepped inside everything was not how I expected. 

The furniture that cluttered the home, in the best way possible, had brought a homey feeling deep in my heart. Music played from down the hall and my heels clicked alongside the refinished wood floors and when I came to a stop in the doorway, the man turned and smiled deeply at me. 

“Hey beautiful.”

I laced my fingers with his extended ones and felt my body gliding into his open embrace. 

“It’s our song,” he muttered, lips ghosting over my forehead. 

“Till the end of time. Long as roses bloom in May. My love for you will grow deeper with every passing day.” 

The beautiful lyrics of our song played through my ears and it was then that I realized I hadn’t heard the soft melody in so long. 

“May I have this dance?” 

I nodded, while brushing the lone strand of hair from his face as it fell out of the bun. 

“You can always have this dance, Bucky.” I spoke softly. 

Our bodies swayed together in perfect harmony, the song replaying over and over, this dance becoming second nature to us. We would do this almost every day when we lived in Wakanda and Romania. 

As my cheek was against his chest, I could feel his heart beat in rhythm to the beat of the song. My own heart, however, was beating a mile a minute when I suddenly remembered how I had gotten to this moment, this memory. 

“Bucky,” I looked up at him. “I need to talk to you about something.” 

He immediately hushed me with a firm kiss to my lips. 

“Let’s enjoy this moment, doll.” He said, ignoring me. 

“But I need to tell you,” I started. 

Bucky spun me in his arms and dipped me low, placing another loving kiss against my lips. 

“I can’t wait until we can do this every day. I’ll dance with you until I’m grey and old,” Bucky vowed, pulling me back into his arms. 

Our hips swayed together once more and I realized that no matter how hard I tried to tell him what I needed to talk to him about, he would ignore it. 

“Is this another dream or am I actually dead and in my own kind of heaven?” I wondered out loud. 

The music faded out low and Bucky stepped away from me, his eyes looking deep in my soul. 

“Why would you be dead, Y/N?”

My head cocked to the side, eyes staring back into his own. “You’ve been watching over me, Bucky. You had to know what I did.” 

“Restoring my old childhood home?” He pointed throughout the bedroom we were in. 

It was then that I noticed the wide variety of photos that hung on the walls of the room; pictures of us together and alone. There were also pictures of us with our friends; Steve and Bucky from back in the 40’s, Steve and I when I first joined his team with Shield, and Natasha and I on one of our spontaneous girl weekends.  

Pieces of my heart shattered and fell into the abyss of my stomach as I took in our genuine smiles in the photo. We were so happy that weekend, becoming incredibly close. We both said the weekend was when we became sisters. 

“I miss you so much, Nat,” my voice broke as I traced over her smile. 

“She wanted you to have the life you deserve, doll. She sacrificed it all for us,” Bucky came up from behind, placing a kiss on top of my head. 

“She deserved it more than I do,” I stated. 

Bucky gently pulled me into his arms, forcing my face to look at him. “Why do you think that?”

A soft sob shook its way from my throat. “You’ve seen what I’ve done, Buck. I’ve killed, tortured, and mained people; all for you.” 

“Sleeping with Steve was for me?” He questioned, anger far from his voice. 

Suddenly the room shifted around us and we were now standing in Steve’s room in the Avengers Compound. Two bodies laid together in the sheets, chest rising and falling in sync, and I then noticed it was Steve and I after our night together. He had his arms wrapped around me while my head was laying on his bare chest. 

“Steve?” Bucky wondered with his voice wavering. 

My lips trembled as I tried to hold back the sob. I could hear it in the way he said his name that Bucky was heartbroken at my decision that night. 

“I wasn’t in the right place. We had all just lost Natasha and I felt like it wasn’t worth it anymore. I felt numb all over and no matter what I did, I couldn’t feel anything. I needed to feel something and Steve was there,” I admitted. 

We both continued to stare at the two bodies in the bed. Bucky was standing behind me and I felt myself jump in fear when his cold, vibranium fingers traced a scar on the side of my forehead that reached the top of my ear. 

“Why did you do this?” His breath was warm on my neck. 

The room shifted around us again and this time we were standing on the pier on the lake. A few feet in front of us stood another me, gun clenched tight in hand. 

Bucky had wrapped his arms around me from behind, knowing what was about to happen, and when I jumped in his embrace after the gun had gone off, he held my crying body while we watched my  other self fall into the lake. 

Blood streamed the waters and I tried to get out of his grasp but Bucky held on tight. 

“Watch,” he spoke firmly.

Both of us watched as Steve ran from the compound down to the pier, sheer panic and fear on his face. 

“Y/N!” He yelled before diving into the water. 

The way he screamed my name pained me to the core, realizing how broken I had made Steve because of my decision. Time had passed incredibly slowly as Bucky and I both waited for what was going to happen next. 

Would Steve resurface alone or with my body? And would I be alive or dead? 

“Your decision affected everyone, dorogaya.” Bucky spoke. 

Suddenly, Steve had resurfaced from the water, carrying a limp body in his arms. I gasped when I saw the large wound on the side of the head, blood continuing to pool from it. 

“You’re not leaving me, Y/N. You don’t get to leave me too,” Steve cried before running back inside of the compound, yelling for Bruce. 

“Am I dead? Did I die?” I sobbed, turning in Bucky’s arm to face him. 

He looked at me with a broken expression and cupped my cheek with his flesh hand. His thumb brushed against my cheek bone, wiping away the tears. 

“I’ll see you soon, doll.”

With a fast and firm kiss on my lips, I gripped tightly onto him, not wanting to let him go. 

Sitting up in bed with a loud gasp, I looked around my surroundings but suddenly groaned in pain when I realized how fast I had sat up. 

“CAP! She’s awake!” 

Looking at the doorway, I saw Bruce yelling into the hallway. 

“What?” I asked, my voice coming out raw and broken. 

A new man entered the room and when I took in his disheveled look, my heart hammered hard in the cage in my chest. 

“Y/N,” he breathed a long sigh of relief. 

“Steve.”

[v33n4-c4rn1s]

"Do I look like her?"

Remy Lebeau x fem!reader

A/N: Here's my first little one shot for the after party of our main event! you don't have to read/attend the main event but if you'd like to.. Here's your invitation to "May the cards be in our favour." Thank you for all the support on the main series! Here's a well deserved Angst/comfort tiny tale <3

────────────────⋆༺𓆩🂱𓆪༻⋆─────────────────

Things played out well for you.

Of course it did.

Sure, you lost everything..But you healed. You accepted a new life. Hell, you even got the guy.

So why is it so..numbing?

Why do you feel like you're walking on thin glass, prepared to shatter under the weight of your heavy heart, when you wake up next to him? He’s not a bad guy. Remy Lebeau is anything but bad.

He’s gentle. Despite your past, your fears, he’s never once doubted you..so why are you doubting him? He knows what it’s like to lose someone. He lost you. Well, a version of you. 

That’s what has your mind all twisted.

Her.

Well, you.

It was haunting, knowing that there once was a you that he loved so much. You wonder if maybe..just maybe. If she was still alive, would you stand in the same place? Would you wake up next to him? Would you share breakfast together? Take care of the cats? 

The worst thing was, you didn’t know.

She meant so much to him.

Could you even compare to her? 

- - - - - - -

You stand in the kitchen, the cats demand their breakfast. They circle you like you’re prey. Tiny predators pawing at your legs. They’re cute..demanding? But cute. Lucifer, the ginger cat, drags his claws down the food cabinet. You give him a look, something along the lines of, “seriously?” and in response..he does it again. Slower. He’s such a little shit. He really lives up to the name. Oliver, the grey cat, circles you. He nuzzles up to your legs. He's trying to use his affection to coax you into opening that damn cabinet. Finally, Figaro, the white cat, simply just sits there. Purring. He’s using his cute little face to try and win you over.

“Boys..five minutes, literally..just five.”

The door of the bedroom creaks open and there he is. Remy, He got out of the shower earlier, he’s dry and dressed now. Apart from his hair, which you can tell is a little damp still.

His scarlet gaze finds yours and he gives you a grin before turning his attention the his cats, who stare up at him expectantly.

“Boys..what’re you crowdin’ your momma for, aye? Where’s dem manners? You aint supposed to crowd a lady.”

He scolds them so gently, it's actually kinda funny. The best part? They listen.

Oh.

I should probably give context to your current situation.

After the near end of the universe, the destruction of your world and the pain and weight of it all..Wade wilson begged the TVA to let you stay right here. They obliged due to your..heroic acts and now you live across from Wade and Logan, who also agreed to stay. Wade retrieved Remy (and Laura) from the void, blah blah blah..you kissed, he moved in, you’re together and now you own three cats.

All caught up? Good.

Remy heads over to the cabinet, pulling out the cat food tin. The cats crowd him instead. A chorus of pleased meows follow him as he dishes up the food. Normally, you’d find a strange sense of joy watching him tend to his cats but today..you had this nagging feeling. It tugged at your heart, sending dull throbs of longing into your soul.

You were snapped from your trance by familiar hands placing themselves on your waist. The Cajun male presses a lingering kiss to your forehead. It tingles. You knew he was being sincere yet it all felt so..hollow.

“You've been frownin’ since ya got outta bed, chère. C’mon, Tell Gambit what’s got you all tied?..”

You meet his gaze. You always do. He finds your eyes all the time and the weight of his sentence. The affection, the care that’s laced into his words..

It cracks the wall you tried to build, the bricks crumble and you stand there..

Vulnerable.

Before you know it, tears begin to well up and it takes Remy no longer than a second to scoop you up. His strong arms encase your frame so gently, his hand runs up and down your back.

“Ma belle..what’s goin’ on? What’s all dem tears for, huh?”

He coo’s so sweetly, leading you to the couch. He takes a seat, pulling you into his lap so you straddle him. One hand lays on your thigh, his skilled fingers tracing soft circles against the skin whereas his other hand works on wiping your tears and pushing the hair out of your face. He runs a hand over your hair before cupping your cheek. All his movements are with practised ease. He knows your body like he knows his cards.

He deserves an explanation. 

He’s been nothing but a picture perfect boyfriend and you’ve been cold to him. You have no idea how he put up with it.

You gather yourself, alongside your thoughts, and you allow some much needed air into your lungs, soothing your nerves.

“It’s– it’s ridiculous really– I think..I'm jealous? Envious? I don’t know but– it's her! Me! Whoever it is! You..you loved her so much! How..how can i even come close to what she had– who she was to you–”

He was confused for a moment before it clicked. You felt..less inferior to his past version of yourself. He felt sick. A rush of nausea overwhelmed him. He never meant for this to happen. Not like this.

He watched the tears slowly slide down your cheeks, his thumb stilled. For a second, you thought he might shove you off his lap, maybe even leave out the door but instead his palms rushed forward to cradle your face. 

“Oh..chère..mon amour–”

He brings you closer, taking your hand and placing it over his heart so you could feel the steady thump.

“She..she was a piece of me– a piece of my past but oh..chère..”

You could hear it in his voice, he’s getting choked up.

“She ain’t you..and you ain’t her. Even Gambit knows dat. Ya got de same face but not de same heart. Not de same soul..”

He brings his hands down to find yours. His own eyes betray him, they grow watery as he presses kiss after kiss to your knuckles.

“Gambit don’t want you feelin’ like a replacement cuz you ain’t. You’re his future. Dat’s what you are. Ain’t no second choice.”

He presses his forehead to your knuckles, it’s like he’s silently begging for forgiveness. He inhales with a shudder.

You can’t find that feeling anymore. The feeling of nagging, the pain, the anxiety.

It’s all gone. Thanks to him.

Now it’s your turn, you tilt his head up with shaky hands and bring him towards you. His nose gently bumps against yours. He holds your wrists like he’s scared that if he lets go..you’ll vanish.

He knows what’s coming yet his heart still flutters when you press your lips to his. It’s slow at first but then a string of desperation ties itself into the mix. His usual skilled hands scramble to grasp your hips while you tangle your fingers in his hair. It’s soft, still a tiny bit damp from his shower but it’s soft. He pulls back only to kiss your cheek, then your jaw, then your neck. He continues to travel till he reaches your collarbone. The whole way down he praises you, he worships you like you're an angel on earth..and to be honest? When you hold him like this he thinks you just might as well be.

He finally pulls away, taking in your flushed cheeks and the dots of red that linger on your skin from his heavy kisses. He gives you a grin. You get to see his jagged canine peek out from his lips. He doesn’t need to say anything because you already know.

He doesn't need to say anything. 

But he does.

“I love you..Gambit loves you so much..”

The cats all clamber onto the couch, trying to figure out what all the commotion is for. 

You return his words, watching him reach down to scratch lucifer behind the ear.

“I love you too..”

It’s four words that bring a man, and his cats, so much joy.

Perhaps you didn’t have the greatest start but that doesn’t mean you’ll be stuck in the unknown for good. Not when he’s here.

- - - - - - -

When you get into bed that night, your heart feels full. You crawl into waiting arms. Large hands run up and down your back. You can hear the soft purrs of your beloved felines and that's how you know things are going to be fine. 

Remy presses a kiss to your forehead, humming softly as he checks on you, watching you fight the well deserved sleep that creeps over you.

He chuckles softly, his chest rumbles at his laughter and it pulls a sleepy smile onto your lips. With a final kiss against your hair, you hear him.

“You got me, forever..and dere ain’t nothin’ you can do about it..”

He’s teasing. You know he is because why would you wanna do anything about it? He’s perfect.

And he’s yours.

────────────────⋆༺𓆩🂱𓆪༻⋆─────────────────

Taglist:

@techs-stitches

@kaidan-z

@tetra-stark

@aisling1985

@trinswhimsys

[satureja13]

After the others left the bridge, Ji Ho started to hover around conspicuously inconspicuous near the book. Of course Vlad does not want him to read books about other guys making out. Naked, hot looking men who also happen to look like Kiyoshi and Jeb... Ji Ho had been worshipping Kiyoshi since the beginning and the glances Ji Ho and Jeb were sharing every now an then are stabbing Vlad right in his heart. Every - damn - time. But Jack and Sai never get tired telling Vlad that he's a jealous bastard - and that he should be more approachable to Ji Ho's attempts to love him... Plus Ji Ho admitted he wanted to read those books. He apparently thinks he's not experienced enough for Vlad. Which was a joke. Except for a few kisses and touches he'd shared with his fist love, Wesley, he didn't really have any experience at all before Ji Ho and Him woohooed for the first time on Winter Solstice. It is rather the other way around. Ji Ho has more experience than him. Because, when Vlad's soul was in hell, Ji Ho had loved Luci. The remnants of Vlad and their Bond. And Vlad does not have any memories of these acts.

It's killing Vlad, but how can he deny Ji Ho anything? So he gritted through his teeth: "Read it."

Ji Ho: "Are you ok with this? We could read it together and you can tell Jack if it's suitable for him." Argh, now he has to read it too, because if he refused, he'd be a bad friend for Jack...

Vlad sat down too and Ji Ho started to read. (Editor's Note: Since this book is one of the spicy books, I posted it on another tumblr with the mature label. If you want to read it, it's -> here Tell me plz if you have any troubles reading it since I don't do this often ^^') Ji Ho: "It starts at a Jedi Temple, you will like this." As a writer, Vlad was interested before, but now he was hooked. Strangely though, that this Temple looked exactly like the Temple he visited with Jack and Kiyoshi years ago... And the Jedi Masters look like Dtui and Master Kojin. Kiyoshi's mentor and their deity. Their worlds are more connected than they thought...

When Ji Ho came to read the scenes Jett and Conny were shirtless, Vlad shyly looked away. But Ji Ho continued reading out loud and described the scenes. Not helping... But Ji Ho obviously like it - a lot. So Vlad endured it.

Ji Ho: "Oh - oh my. They are really doing it! Huh, this is really hot. And a bit weird. Seeing Jeb and Kiyoshi together like this. I don't know how it will effect the others. Jack and Sai above all. What do you think? If it were me - I mean, Jino - and one of the others? How would you feel?" Right, if there are books about Jeb and Kiyoshi - Jett and Conny - there would also be books about Jino and - someone else. Someone else than him. Vlad really didn't think that through... Damn Jack! He tricked them into reading these books, all right!

Vlad was still deep in thoughts when Ji Ho ended the book. Ji Ho: "An open end? Oh no... I wonder if they get back together again?"

Ji Ho put the book aside and looked into the grey vastness of subspace. Was he crying?

Vlad heard himself say: "We will find the next book, it will all be well in the end, you'll see."

Ji Ho: "Can you hold me?" Vlad: "Sure." Ji Ho: "You will never leave me, won't you?" Vlad: "I won't." Ji Ho pressed himself against Vlad: "Can we... later... ?" Vlad felt Ji Ho was a bit 'excited' from the book and he knows exactly what Ji Ho is eager for when they're alone in their quarters, after their shift. Even without words. Their treacherous Bond made it very clear to him: "Eh - sure." ö.Ö'

'Lookin' for a lover who needs another Don't want another night on my own Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover Wanna bring a wild man back home

Gotta have some hot love, baby, this evenin' I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin' Got to have some lovin' Got to have love tonight'

Donna Summer - Hot Stuff

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter 'Goats in Space': starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Piglets in Space' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[apenapaperandadoofus]

IM CRYING “I’d have demolished them both” OP is not playing around but you know what…SAMEEEE

like the one thing I LOVE about HX and what my personal little hc is about what he would’ve been associated as a God, I think he would’ve been the god of justice because this man is stronger than me. He still managed to be both fair + get his revenge which I think says SO much about his character it’s just- aaaaagagghhh ok I’m not going to make this into a whole ass thesis about HX again lol

And when you mentioned SQX like it’s SO tragic bc!!! SQX downfall and the reason why HX decided to go the bad cop route with him was bc SQX is loyal to a fault! You see him defend the people he cares about strongly! When XL is accused of being a baby daddy SQX is the first to defend him.

Which it’s so tragic bc then it’s this beautiful, wonderful trait SQX has of being loyal to his loved ones, which fucks him over in the end.

Because of HXs justice and SQXs loyalty, the whole thing became a mess and SQX became more involved than HX had planned :( it was their strongest and most beautiful trait that made them monsters in each others eyes which AAAA

Anyway very sorry for the rant again can you tell I love yapping about characters I love lmao

blackwater arc was COMPLETE justice including sqx's share & shipping beefleaf is extremely demeaning to hx's character

when i see people saying he should've let sqx go (i've seen people say that even about swd lol) i just think they've never been wronged in their life 🧏‍♂️

btw i'm judging from hx's perspective i don't think morals/logic apply in this kind of situation

& i find shipping beefleaf extremely tone-deaf ik we are just having fun but does his tragedy mean nothing to you 😭😭 it just seems like a character w depth is being reduced into a romance trope to me idk

this is just me expressing my opinion on a piece of media because i have fun doing it i'm not tryna have beef w/ sqx fans & beefleaf shippers i LOVE my haunted boys and their mutual tragedy

[worfs-glorious-hair]

Snippet Sunday… eh Monday

I was tagged by the fabulous @optimisticgrey to share a writing snippets and since time is relative and a social construct am I still posting something 💜

Tagging (in case you haven’t done it yet and have WIPs you want to share) @astarioffsimpmain @saintsandsorcery @ladylucksrogue and anyone else who wants to share their writing with the world 🤩💖

The following is a snippet from an OS currently titled “You are enough” and features druid!Tav with their own secrets, Gale and an enchanted meadow in act 2 👀

His brows furrow together and he is silent for a moment.

“You…”, he seems lost for words, I don’t think I have ever seen him speechless before.

“You have never been with anyone? You of all people? Apologies, I just assumed…”, he was trailing off, struggling for words.

“I’ve seen the way people look at you, the way our companions all wanted to invite you to private moments, sharing wine and bodies. I suppose I wasn’t so different to them after all. And I assumed since you must have had the world to choose from all of your life, judging from the behaviour of our companions that, well…”

Gale looked at me, eyes big and wet and his shoulders dropped.

“I am sorry I assumed details of your private life that are only your concern”, he said as his demeanour changed.

His eyes were suddenly burning into mine and he made a careful step closer to me.

I felt myself move towards him.

“What makes you think that I would want you any less after you would share this personal, intimate detail with me?”, he suddenly asks with a low voice.

“I haven’t said that”, I croak out but he is right, of course he is, this was my only fear.

“But your eyes have”, he said softly, a gentle smile dancing over his lips.

“I guess I was afraid”, I begin to answer. “Afraid that you would want an experienced lover, not some druid with the romantic experience of a fawn…”

He looks at me perplexed.

“I want you! Please, you have to know that I meant what I said – I am in love with you! All of you is what I adore, all the secrets you hide —“

This was my only secret, I promise”, I interrupt him and Gale shakes his head with a smile.

“And even if it wasn’t, they are a part of you, you, the one I love, you, the one I want to look at for the rest of my life…”, he answers and points to me on each ‘you’.

My heart races and my soul can not believe it’s luck and I smile, without my doing, without any control of my features.

Happiness is seeping out of me and into the world around me, I can not look away from Gale and his sincere eyes on me.

“And I also meant what I have said”, I tell him, “I am in love with you, too! And I will not allow you to blow yourself up, we will find another way! This will not be the end, not for you, not for me, not when we just found each other!”

[nawoken]

im back with more thoughts on soulbound au. Wjat if reader's Soulmate got isekaied to twst and expected reader to return to them cuz theyre soulmates as if they didnt just reject the name on their wrist, as if they have the right to just demand it even as reader is with the first years now (excluding ortho grim). How would the boys react to reader just snapping and declaring they feel no love for soulmate. That they love their current partner instead. I can imagine some of them just gloating and acting like a really doting partner in front of the soulmate like "look what you cant have"

Bonus for grim and ortho like "who needs you when i have my feral cat/technological humanoid built by a genius. Get his ass!" And they just send grim and ortho out like pokemons LMAO

Love yourself

(TWST x Broken Soulbond! Reader)

5.C: Hehe, I’m glad u have the same thought as mine, Mortal~

Because as petty as I am, since the moment I had the idea for this AU, I already have the scene where your Soulmate by some way gets to TWST and wants the reader back but gets rejected by them.

I mean, who do they think they are, broke the strongest bond in the world and then came back and demanded it like they deserve it?!

The name has two meanings since the content of this one chapter reminded me of "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber as something reader would want to tell their Soulmate. The other is just simply loving yourself, something I want to tell you guys and myself.

Pairing: Ace Trappolar; Deuce Spade x g/n Reader

I will do the other later I guess, sorry for the late update, I have writer's block for this one, including my absence due to January cause I have a school break.

Warning: :D)

The moment your Soulmate lands their ass at TWST, you can feel the tug in your heart, the arch, the itch of your Soulmark, and the familiar pulling come from your soul that you’ve almost forgotten during your stay at twisted wonderland. That’s how you know they’re here, and they also feel your faint presence.

The moment your Soulmate lands their ass at TWST, you can feel the tug in your heart, the arch, the itch of your Soulmark, and the familiar pulling come from your soul that you’ve almost forgotten during your stay at twisted wonderland. That’s how you know they’re here, and they also feel your faint presence.

Ace Trappola:

He is unhappy when hearing that your Soulmate has spawned in TWST. (Let’s be real, all of them are, maybe except Kalim or Vil…)

He is sulking the whole way both of you walk to the Headmage office cause apparently, your Soulmate demands to see you the moment they know you’re here.

Ace refuses to let you meet that person alone, Crowley? That crow can not be trusted.

Hearing them ask you to go back, with them, and by their side. Ace glares hard as if if he tries enough, that person will disappear.

They, in fact, do not disappear though.

Plan B, Ace starts to make some comments, he is sarcastic about your Soulmate, berating their behavior toward you.

He interferes every time you try to speak up, to give your supposed to be Soulmate an answer. Basically, he is being annoying till the point you have to kick him out of the room.

Ace doesn't really want to hear your answer, deep down, he worries that you will actually choose your Soulmate over him.

Waiting outside until you finish your conversation, no matter how long it takes.

Seeing you walking out of the room, he tries to act like he doesn't care. But he cares, a lot actually.

Tell him you have rejected the request since... you already have him as your Soulmate while showing him the Basketball wrist wrap he gave you.

Gotta say Heartslabyul is very good at growing tomatoes.

The following days were a series of days, each time you guys pass by your Soulmate, Ace will give them a smug look while walking hand in hand with you.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce, our sweetheart. The first thing he does after he hears that your Soulmate wants to meet you: Asks if you want him to beat them for you.

I mean, ask if you want him to assist you or do you prefer meeting them alone because model students don’t fight (Please bring him with you Ơ ^ Ơ).

It actually doesn’t matter, he will still follow you if you choose the second option, but more secretly (not really).

He doesn’t like your Soulmate, not a bit. But hearing your Soulmate’s request? He almost let them drown under at least three cauldrons (If you are quick enough).

How dare they be so casual about it? Do they not know how much you suffer?

But, Deuce will respect your choice, even if it can be hurtful. Telling you that it is okay if you want to be back with them. He is on the verge of crying, a sad puppy.

Do you really mean that he is more important than the Soulbond?

Give you a tight hug, I mean, a really tight one. He thought that he was going to lose you. But he is happy now, with the brightest smile present on his face.

And now your ex-Soulmates is being the third wheel here.

[almostmylove]

The red string of fate

Part 1

Sorry for any mistakes

Jason Todd x reader

Synopsis: you love Jason even after his death. One says on one of your regular patrols you spot something, something red. a string. Could it be the work of a villain to lure you away? You knew better than that but it’s too tempting for you not to. What’s the worst that could happen? (song inspiration: desert rose by lolo zauai)

Gotham city weather is unpredictable, much like people. one moment it's calm, sunny even as the sun shines down at its people and before you know it, its pouring rain in Mourning.

that how it has always been, and I much prefer that way. it reflected me in some way. the rain was a companion of Gotham over the past years, reminding me of my dance with pain. it had been five years since I have seen Jason, five years since joker's crowbars silenced his vibrant laugh, five years since the earth swallowed him whole, never to been seen by me or his son. I remember that day so clearly like it happened yesterday, kaleidoscope of terror and grief. the news, the frantic call from Bruce, the desperate denial that turned into my soul crushing cries. I went to the funeral and watched as they buried him, an empty shell into the cold, unforgivable ground. maybe when they buried him, they also buried a part of me with him. I was broken. Maybe even still now. In my memory I was planning on telling Jason- considering we were together, but we were kids back then, around 15-16, I didn't know what to do but I knew together we would figure it out. I was a broken girl who had lost her only lover but now I am a mom, a mom that needs to pick herself up and put her needs aside to take care of her child. I couldn't bear the future that I would bring my future child if I stay helpless and emotional. I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant with Micheal the day Jason died but before all of that I was known as nightingale. I was kind and forgiving, the typical hero you could say, yet when Jason died, me, and batman seem to be affected the same in some way. the only difference is that he was able to find someone else, I wasn't. my weapon that one helped people and offered forgiveness now was fueled by Jason's death. I used it as my own way to deliver a righteous and vengeance driven hand. even though the criminals I fought never really deserved it, I looked at them all the same. a potential joker in the making. I fought harder, more faster and became reckless with everything I did in a poor attempt to fill my heart with anything but emptiness. but even in the heat of battle, Jason's face would flash before my eyes, that boyish smirk that could both break me and lift me up, his hand in mine and my hands on my growing stomach. that's when I decided to take things slow and step down from my second life as nightingale, the life I had with Jason. the rest of those 4ish year I dedicated my life to my son, Micheal, a sweet baby boy that looked like a carbon copy of Jason. They had the same blueish eyes that under the right light can look a greenish tint, and the same raven hair color. it's almost laughable that the only thing that he got from you was your skin tint. the only thing you hated was the fact--truly you never fully dropped your second life-- still helping out every once in a while, when it got really bad. it was also nice that the Wayne's still saw you and Micheal as family and sometimes would help babysit him as you went to work when you didn't have a babysitter. Bruce Wayne for the most part would pay for your house, even though you refused before, only asking him to put that money into Micheal's education but he did both either way. (he loves his grandchild) now most days you just worked and played with your son. Gotham was way too dangerous for you to let your son play outdoors anyways.

there it is again! I sighed putting the newspaper down onto the marble kitchen counter. on the paper in big bold letter read 'Gotham's new crime lord strikes again'. at first, I had only heard whispers about a new player in town that was causing trouble, brutally effectively, mercilessly punishing criminals with a cold almost unhuman manner! his gruesome tactics have landing him in first page of every news in Gotham! reminds me of how I was a long time ago. it's ridiculous! I'm surprised bats hasn't caught this lunatic yet. rumors say that he's shrouded in red and black, a grim reaper type of person. they call him the red hood. I sigh once more, putting a hand to my forehead. I don't have time to think about this. I need to get ready for patrol since the batman and robin won't be able to make it for-I'm not too sure why. " Where the hell is she" I grumble under my breath, looking over to leo who is watch a hero movie on the tv. his babysitter, Sarah needed to be here a while ago and without her I can't leave for patrol without feeling uneasy. I walk over to where leo is watching tv and wearing a robin Pj that I managed to find at that store. he looked so cute wearing it. he truly looked like Jason. I find myself smiling fondly but I'm quickly interpret by the ringing and vibration of my phone in my pocket.

I pull it out and answer it, already knowing who it is.

I go to speak but she interrupts me before I could say anything. her voice a mixture of worry, franticness and apologetic.

“I’m so sorry [reader] but a family emergency came up. I’m going to have to cancel for tonight” she says frantically.

Through gritted teeth I manage to stay calm even though internally I'm freaked out and angry at the random cancelation. "...Okay, okay, I understand things come up. But today, Sarah? Today is the one day this week I needed you, you knew that! We agreed on this ages ago.” I say trying to keep my voice calm and collected but failing

“I know I know, can’t you let me off this one time? I promise this won’t happen again!”

“No, no, 'a family emergency' isn't good enough, Sarah. Not today!" I press two fingers against the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"What kind of family emergency can't wait one evening? I mean, please!” By this pint I know I’m being unreasonable, but I’m about leave for a routine patrol, and I need someone to take care of him.

I move around the room, running a hand through m already messy hair while paceing around the kitchen.

“can’t you just stay home instead of going where you were going? It doesn’t hurt not to go for once or you can ask anyone else.” she says this time little more confused than apologetic.

“Because... because I need you here! I have to be" I stop myself before almost spilling the real reason why "... Look, it's important. And I have a five-year-old who can't exactly fend for himself. You're the only one I trust, the only one I've got!”

My voice gets softer yet sharp as I glance over to where leo is peacefully watching his hero show. Deep breaths he said deep breaths. I inhale and then exhale my chest rising and lowering.

I must set a good example for my child.

“Aunt Carol then. she would be happy to take of leo, no ?"

"She's out of town. Nana's got that bingo night and frankly, I don't think she can handle Leo right now. Everyone else...is just... not available! What am I supposed to do?” I sound like I’m on the verge of tear, turning more desperate the longer this conversation continues.

I take one last deep breath before asking once again. “Look, Sarah, can't you even try to figure something out? Can't your family manage just one night? I'm begging you. I'll even pay you double, triple! Please, I need your help.”

I listen carefully for her response, I felling like my heart is about to beat out do my chest.

“ I'm sorry there’s nothing I can do, I really am” I heard. Sign from the other side and I snap. my voiced laced with sarcasm I respond, kind of unreasonable. "I'm so sorry there's nothing I can do?" That's it? That's all you've got. You knew the schedule. You know what I have on... You know all of this, Sarah.” look at the clock again. Damn it! 20 minuets before I need to leave. This is so bad, I don’t know what to do, I can’t bring this girl into this problem.

“Do you even realize the stress you're putting me under?!This isn't just about a babysitting gig, this is about... about... ugh! Never mind. This isn't your problem!”

I end the call abruptly, almost slamming the phone down. Silence hangs in the air for a moment before i explodes with frustration.now I’m left to ponder what to do.

To myself, but loud enough to be heard I whisper angrily. "Great! Just great! Now what am I supposed to do?! I can't just leave Gotham defenseless, and I can't just leave Leo alone! This is catastrophic!"

“ why don’t we take mr capitano and bring him with us, that how we can protect him from evil marmelo” i hear .

i turn around to when

Something clicks in me.

I starts to pace again of her footsteps a sharp counterpoint to her.

I glance over to hear a small voice calling me from the living room.

“Mommy? Are you okay?” Lead question, his voice soft and concerned.

I give him a small smile before walking over to him and kneeling down.

“ why dont we go on a secret mission like mr capitano and mr amazing?”

I see his face immediately light up, his eyes sparkling with joy.

[arcenciel-par-une-larme]

Here are some old "favourites" off the top of my head:

4. Beauty is subjective! / God looks at the heart!

Yes, I know that God looks at the heart. Thank you for providing a truism which does not prove your argument. Five points from Gryffindor.

The fact that God looks first and foremost at the hearts of men does not mean that He is indifferent about what man creates and to what standards, nor does it prove that there are no artistic standards beyond the bare minimum of a good heart. The absence of art criticism in the Church is what has gotten us to the point where we are witnessing the growth and proliferation of Christian trap, if you can fathom it, and nobody bats an eyelash.

Also, let us concede for the sake of argument that beauty is, indeed, subjective. Even so, have you bothered to ask the people in your church whether they would like to rent a deconsecrated church instead of an IMAX theatre to hold services? Did you bother to ask them whether they would actually like worshipping in a concrete nuclear bunker before you went and built it (which means that they are now stuck with it whether they like it or not)?

5. Modern buildings are cheaper than traditional ones!

I doubt that the churches who built houses of worship like this were swimming in money, mon ami. It might interest you, by the way, that sublimity is not a matter of extravagance, but of order, proportion, and ornamentation. The beauty of buildings like this licks most of the modern architectural world hollow.

Also, "modern" does not automatically equate to modernist.

6. Art is just a secondary adjunct to worship. Treating it as anything more is idolatry.

Boy, this is an intellectually dishonest guilt-trip if I've ever seen one! Ten points from Gryffindor, and on the rather likely chance that Paul Washer is among your regular sources of spiritual guidance, do yourself and your family a favour and repent.

Beyond joking, however, your belief that the art which we employ in worship is not subject to rules of propriety or beauty, and is merely a "secondary adjunct" which we may as well get out of the way in the cheapest and most effortless way possible, is a thoroughly modernist and utilitarian presupposition which you have accepted WITHOUT proving it with reference to the Bible. The earliest that you can find this sort of mentality in the Church is the time of Calvin, and even there I doubt that people would accept an "anything goes" mentality with regard to what buildings we build for our churches.

7. There are millions of hell-bound souls thirsting for the gospel right as we speak! Why bother with trivialities?

How many times do we have to tell you, old man, that these "trivialities" have brought countless people to the Christian faith, and sustain them in the same?

When people are on the verge of abandoning all hope in life due to complicated problems and life difficulties which do not simply go away with a couple of sermons or a weekend at an apologetics conference (primarily because they are problems of the heart, not of the mind nor of virtue), you had better HOPE that there are some beauteous "trivialities" to keep them adrift and help them re-focus on Christ.

8. Beauty and art carry no objective meaning! It's all in the eye/ear of the beholder!

There are settings of Psalm 94 which are set to music almost indistinguishable from love ballads that one would hear in Hollywood romcoms. There are Mass settings which literally rip off the title music from "My Little Pony". There are renditions of the Easter Sequence set to Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah", for cryin' out loud. If you believe that all those are A-OK, there is something seriously wrong with your aesthetic criteria.

Also, returning to the issue of architecture: imagine that you had to live for 6 months in a 800-year-old vicarage in Norwich, and then for another 6 months in a postmodernist tower block. Try it if you can. Then come and tell me how "subjective" the issue of beauty is, even from the point of view of personal experience.

9. Would you rather have a beautiful building for a spiritually dead church, or an ugly building for a thriving and Spirit-filled community of souls?

My brother in Christ used False Dilemma!

It's not very effective...

10. Form follows function, you know!

Congratulations on providing yet another conversation-stopper sophistry which is based upon modernist presuppositions and proves absolutely nothing. Fifteen points from Gryffindor.

Riddle me this, if you will: what is the function which we serve in public worship? Is it not the administration of the most aweful and immaculate Sacrament, and the preaching of the word of the Thrice-Holy God of the universe? Does not that function then indicate that the form which serves the function should be fittingly majestic and inspiring?

In reality, what you most probably mean when you say this is "form is subjective, only function matters", upon which I will refer you back to questions #4 and #8.

11. So you're saying that you consider house churches and underground believers in Africa and Asia spiritually inferior to Englishmen with their high and mighty cathedrals?

No! That's not what I said, that's certainly not what I meant, and you know that darn well! Fifty points from Gryffindor, and go straight to Logic Gaol without passing "Go" and without collecting £200.

Most of the low-church Protestant arguments for having plain, simple church buildings and services strike me as deeply unserious.

"We should be spending that money on evangelism!"

Beauty is evangelism. Theophilia and Clamavi de Profundis are a solid 25% of the reason I'm not Protestant anymore.

"We should be spending that money on helping the poor!"

As Jesus said, "leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to Me" (Mark 14:3-6, Matthew 26:7-10). And, while you might point out that Jesus said He would no longer be with the disciples (Mark 14:7, Matthew 26:11), He clearly accepts the premise that giving expensive things to Him is a virtuous act.

"Jesus said to worship in spirit and truth!"

How does "spirit and truth" equal "plain and simple" unless you go by way of Gnosticism (spiritual = incorporeal) or just flat-out reading your opinions back into the text?

[ganondoodle]

did a little sketch yesterday that i really liked and tried to get it done today just so i got literally anything to post- but i fell into the trap of 'making sketches to elaborate and thus really stiff and non fun' (for me), ... soooooo .. im redoing the whole thing

but the idea was a mummy ganondorf for my (yes still existing) totk rewrite; i wanted to make him more scary looking and also emphasize just how horrid it must be to be kept in between life and death by having your heart grabbed by a cold and vengeful magical hand for thousands of years (in this case the ancient queen .. which i also tried to sketch despite not showing up aside from her dissolving hand)

the spell starting to fail and his body being more damaged in some parts (jaw being only the bones left for example) and his chest open from being slowly eaten up by the queens magic, the ribs contorting around it like its a gravitational pull- sounds cooler than it looks bc this sketch did not work out, so im saving the details for the .. hopefully, better version

[beanghostprincess]

I demand a whole filler arc from Toei that has absolutely nothing to do with the main story and the only characters are Sabo and Luffy going on a silly little adventure for at least 30 episodes. No angst. No pain. Only these two being silly and loving each other so much it's so fucking unbearable to watch you have to like, physically stop the show to breathe and then continue watching the two brothers being clingy and stupid and probably ending capitalism and slavery in a random country somewhere.