#but i am thinking i can possibly get the rest of this fic written before the new year

[di-42]

2024 fic roundup

Finally getting round to doing this! Just in time for the end of the year!

Many, many thanks to @curiouspupsicle and @bellisima-writes for tagging me all those weeks ago, ant to @cheeseplants for creating the questions. Enjoy curious's answers here, bellisima's answers here, cheeseplants's answers here.

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens, only Good Omens, nothing but Good Omens.

How many words have you published in 2024?

133k. Huh! Me?

What is your greatest achievement this year?

In the context of fandom and fanfiction, being brave enough to put myself out there and share my work is probably my greatest personal achievement. But I'm also quite proud to have plotted an 85k fiction while working 55 hours a week (and being lucky enough to have a husband and friends to spend my free time with).

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

That's an easy one! None of my favourite three are the ones with more engagement, strangely enough!

And I Did, rated E, 85k.

While I know this could have been written much better, I am incredibly proud of this fiction. It's whole season 3 fiction where I managed to pour all my headcanon in a way that hopefully doesn't feel too forced. I think it has an original plot, good side characters and tension. I tried to throw in some humour wherever possible as well. It features Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Grand Duke of Hell Crowley. They haven't talked for almost two years. The end of the world is approaching. They are on opposite sides. And they both know neither of them was ever going to make a different choice to the one they made.

Only Ever Meant For Someone Else, rated T, 9k.

My first human AU, wheee! It was so much fun to write! I think writing human AUs allows so much freedom, although one shots and shorter stories can be a bit harder than canon compliant short stories. But I had a chance to explore some versions of the characters that I don't really see in canon, but very much enjoy in fictions, and wanted to try my hand at that. And I liked the result! Written for the Scribbling Vaguely Downwards advent calendar.

Every year, the night before Christmas, taxi driver Aziraphale drives passengers to and from the hospital for charity. On the Christmas morning of 2023 he was ready to go home and rest with a cup of tea, a mince pie, and a book after a long night.

Guess who?

“No, you may not!” Barked the other. Then he started pacing up and down the pavement, rambling to himself. “Anathema’s going to kill me. She’s actually going to kill me! She had to go into labour on fucking Christmas day, just my luck!”

Oh, dear.

“In-into labour?”

The stranger stopped pacing and, yet again, looked at Aziraphale sternly. He joined together the tips of his right thumb and forefinger, and punctuated his next words with a gracious movement of his hand.

“Yeah. It means she’s about to give birth.”

“Does it, now.”

Angel! Angel! They're At It Again! rated M, 5k

I really love this little story of mine. I've been told that it made some readers cry and laugh at the same time, and it doesn't get much better than that.

It's the year 2030. The world never ended. Aziraphale and Crowley are living happily and safely together as a married couple. Everything would be well, if it wasn't that lately Aziraphale has been a bit busy. A bit distracted. Now, Crowley can't have that, can he? He seeks the advice of his girlfriends, who unwittingly give him an idea on how to liven up his marriage.

A fluffy story about how we get to a certain cottage.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Tying up all the loose ends in And I Did. Sometimes it felt like I was just hitting a wall and I couldn't possibly ever go through. I felt so embarrassed -mortified, really- that some people had read the story up to a certain point and I had just to let them down, because I couldn't possibly write anything that would make sense with the rest of the story. Even though the main points were planned from the beginning, there were still all those little details that write themselves, basically, and I had no idea what to do with some of them towards the end. I still don't know how I managed to pull it off, honestly, but somehow I did it in a way that I found satisfying enough.

What have you learned?

That people are so much better than I am. Really. And I don't mean at writing fiction. Well, people are better than me at writing fiction, but that's not what I mean here. The amount of people who are ready to read about someone else's ideas and headcanons with an open mind, enjoy stories that they don't necessarily agree with, is astounding. I have very much to learn from this community.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I could tell you. But then I would have to erase your memory.

A fiction that has never made it off the ground is a fiction that has yet to make it off the ground.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I was asked a couple of times, but due partly to my lack of time, partly to English not being my first language, I had to reluctantly decline. I do offer my thoughts on my betas' fictions, though. One of them hasn't published her work yet, and the other has a fantastic one shot on Ao3, called The Corset.

Aziraphale never understood just why he had been issued with a body likes his. He was the Guardian of the Eastgate, after all! So when in the 17th century corsets for men were fashionable again, he had an idea ...

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Hah! We both know it's not going to be only three, don't we?

Some of these fics were written before, some long before, 2024, but I only read them this year. It's quite hard to pick my favourites among so much talent and creativity, but I'll do my best. I also can't help but notice that my all time favourites are not among the superpopular ones, so please don't be shy and check them out! (And leave kudos and comments!)

The Beginning Of The End (Again), rated M, 78k.

Season 3 fiction full of plot, great characterisation, humour and pining. It has of course a happy ending. It is beyond me how this fic didn't get more engagement, especially when it first came out, closer to the end of season 2.

The Anon Before Christmas, rated E, 66k.

One of my favourite human AUs. The characterisation is spot on and the slow burn is just absolutely perfect. But I did love the whole array of characters surrounding Crowley and Aziraphale. I love how this story is as much about friendship and chosen family than it is about love and romance.

The Bookseller And The Garden, rated T, 13k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley is a demon stationed on earth, Aziraphale is an angel stationed on earth, but they have never met until present day. There's no end of the world in sight, only an angel and a demon falling in love and not knowing how to break it to the other that they're not human. I laughed all the way through.

Wrong Turn, rated T, 37k.

Honestly, I don't know why this fiction touched me so much. I just couldn't stop thinking about it for days after I finished it. It's a post season 1 fiction where Crowley suddenly finds himself in a parallel universe at the time the apocalypse is just about to happen. The Crowley and Aziraphale in that universe have a different history to our Crowley and Aziraphale. All our Crowley wants to do is to go back to his universe and his very own angel, but how? As you follow the main plot and focus on Crowley's thoughts and actions, you'll start slowly feeling the other story get hold of you, and it won't let go until the very end and beyond.

Happiness, More Or Less, rated M, 21k

This human AU moved me so very much I cried. Crowley moves into his new flat in Soho, only to discover the flat in haunted by the ghost of the owner of the bookshop downstairs. I won't tell anything else about the plot other than it does have a very sweet happy ending, and it gets there via a rollercoaster of emotions. This is really one of those fictions that leave me in awe of the fandom's talent and creativity. Read it, read it, read it!

One last one that I haven't finished reading yet, but I know it's one of my all time favourites, is The Last Angel, rated E, 162k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley and Aziraphale were never assigned to earth, Armageddon happened and hell won the war. I've said many things about this fiction, among which that I can't believe the writer does this in her spare time and writing is not actually her job, and this is the most Good Omens-y fic I have ever read. It's astoundingly good.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Watch out for The Angel Horror Show! When I learned that Peter Hinwood, the actor who played Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show didn't have a long career as an actor, bout instead went on to become an antiques dealer, I knew I had to write this fiction with Aziraphale as the actor who many years ago played Angel/Rocky in The Angel Horror Show and subsequent film The Angel Horror Picture Show and is now living a comfortable life as a book and antiques dealer, and Crowley as the actor who played Demon/Frank, and went on to become a successful movie and theatre actor and director. I've just started writing it and I'm extremely excited about it!

Who do you want to thank?

Without the shadow of a doubt @sabine-smitten-obviously and IneffableShortCake who have been so incredibly generous with their time and support in the past 8 months! But also everyone who's ever left me a comment making me feel like my stories were liked, from the long comments to the ones with just enthusiastic syllables, from the incredibly witty ones to the more personal ones, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tag, answer any Qs that suit and play along!

I think because I'm so late in the game that most of the writers I would usually tag have already been tagged by someone else, but perhaps a few haven't done this yet.

@smua70 @ngk-668 @ineffable-duck7

And anyone who wants to answer!

This was fun!

[reading-writing-dying]

90ish percent done with chapter 20 first draft

planning notes done for chapters 21-23

This fic is scary near completion because I think 23 is the final chapter omg

[rafeandonlyrafe]

blowing smoke

words: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, fingering, unprotected p in v sex (i think ive written like one fic where theyve used protection i am ashamed), riding, smoking cigs, shotgunning smoke, semi public sex, mentions of drinking

fully inspired by this post bc hnnnnng.

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @slut4drudy

“come here, sweetheart.” rafe says, his gruff voice calling out to you over the noise of the party going on in the background. you place your hand in his outstretched one, completely engulfing it as he tugs you closer, onto his lap.

rafe bounces you once on his lap, making you smile and lean into him, not shying away from the physical contact.

“shouldn’t we be down with the rest of the party?” you ask, not that you actually want to leave the secluded balcony to rejoin the group, you much prefer having rafes undivided attention.

“do you want to go back to the party?” rafe asks, fingers pulling the thin strap of your dress off your shoulder.

you smile and tilt your chin down, rafe knows the answer. you always prefer being alone with him. 

“why don’t you ride me and then we can go back to the party?” rafe questions, making you look around the space.

“i don’t know, someone could walk up at any time…” 

rafe lets out a laugh, making you pout. he runs his thumb over your cheek, “baby, you think anyone would come up here without my permission?”

while the nerves still build in your stomach with the thought of someone easily being able to come up the stairs and seeing what’s happening on the second story balcony, you can’t resist rafe, which he certainly knows as you readjust on his lap so you’re straddling him.

you pull your dress up over your hips, and it’s tight enough that it stays in place. rafe smiles seeing what underwear you’re wearing, tiny panties with the letter r on the front that he got you for valentines day.

“my favorite.” rafe smiles, pulling on the strap and then letting it sna back into your hip.

you let out a gasp at the brief moment of pain, leaning forward and pressing your lips against your boyfriends, tasting the slight taste of alcohol on his breath. rafe easily dominates the kiss, his hand cupping your jaw as he controls you.

you moan against his mouth, knowing that no one will be able to hear you over the music pumping out of the speakers on the patio beneath you.

you move closer to rafe, pressing your chest together so you can grind your core against him, feeling him swell with your movements. you feel a rush of confidence with how quickly you can get him hard, taking rafes lower lip in between your teeth and giving it a slight tug.

rafe lets you have the moment of dominance, only to reach down and press his finger over your pussy, rubbing it through the thin underwear. “oh fuck.” you moan after releasing his lip, placing your hands on his thighs and leaning backwards, giving him better access to your clit, which he rubs mercilessly.

“all shy a few minutes ago, and now you’re leaking for my cock.” rafe laughs, not caring that you’ve soaked through your underwear and are leaving spots on his pants.

you pout, but it’s quickly wiped off your face when rafe tugs your underwear to the side, looking up at you with a smirk, “i would rip these off of you if they weren’t a gift.” you roll your eyes with a smile, knowing rafe has a proclivity for getting you out of your clothes by the quickest means possible, even if it means you regularly have to buy new underwear.

you almost lose your grip on rafes leg, thankful for the rough material of his jeans catching you, as he plunges a finger into your heat, looking at your pussy with a face of determination as he fingers you quickly, not deciding to go slow today.

you sit up straight, eyes going to the railing to make sure no one is able to see you, before leaning forward and cupping rafes face in your hands, letting your lips guide over each others in a half-kiss as you continue to moan.

rafe gets tired of just fucking you with his finger, his cock is almost uncomfortable from how hard he is, pressing against his zipper. he quickly inserts a second finger, turning his hand so his thumb can rub over your clit at the same time.

he doesn’t last more than a few thrust before the need to have you gets too great, pulling his fingers out suddenly, making you whine at the loss. you get to work quickly on his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them as rafe takes his fingers into his mouth, licking all of your wetness off, tasting sweet on his tongue. 

“gonna ride daddy?” rafe asks, referring to himself as he lifts his hips, letting you tug his jeans and boxers down just enough to get his cock out.

“of course, daddy.” you bat your eyelashes at him, giving him a quick few strokes, even though he’s so hard he doesn’t need it, his tip a pretty pink color that makes you want to wrap your lips around it, but you know he’s not going to be able to get you off his dick if you suck him off, and you really do want to ride him.

you position yourself over top his cock, having to lift up onto your knees to line his cock up with your pussy. you close your eyes and take a deep breath, determined to take all of him quickly as you lower yourself onto his cock.

rafe watches you in fascination, always in awe of how you’re so willing and able to please him. you only pause for a second when you’re fully seated on his cock, before you begin to bounce, starting with small movements as you build up, placing your hands on his chest for stability.

“god, my perfect little bunny.” rafe smiles, tugging at the front of your dress until the top falls under your boobs, letting them spill free, moving along with you with every shift of your hips.

“feels so good.” you whine when rafe cups your tits, smirking as his big hands cover your entire chest. you are determined to show him how good you feel, moving faster even as you cunt cries out from the harshness of your movements.

“so good for daddy.” rafe compliments you, surprised how quickly you’ve completely forgotten that there’s just shy of 100 people only a floor below you.

“mhm, good just for you.” you say, moving your hands to his shoulders as you shift backwards slightly.

you roll your hips along to the song playing, watching as rafe reaches over to the table next to him, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and his customized lighter, filled with pictures of you on it. it’s the only one that he uses ever since you got it for him, even refusing to light up other peoples cigs or joints when they ask him to. 

rafe pulls a cigarette out of the pack and places it between his lips as you continue your movements. he brings his lighter up to his mouth, cupping his other hand to protect the flame from the light wind as he lights his cig.

you slow your moves in time with his deep inhale, rafes eyes sliding shut as he breathes in the smoke, only for you to speed up the second he quirks his lips to the side and blows it out.

“god, i’m in fucking heaven.” rafe pulls the cigarette out of his mouth with one hand, bringing his free hand to grip your hip and help you slightly with your movements.

you giggle, leaning forward and accepting the end of the cigarette rafe puts in your mouth, also taking a breath, admittedly not as deep as your breathing fast from riding him. you tip your head back and blow the smoke out into the air before refocusing.

“damn, riding me so good baby.” rafe gives your ass a quick slap before gripping your plump bum, still helping you move all while feeling you up.

he sticks the cigarette between his lips, taking another draw from it before he pulls it out, not caring to turn away from the sight in front of him as he blows the smoke over your body, making you let out a moan.

“fuck, dirty girl.” rafe delivers another spanking.

you cry out, knowing he’s going to leave a red mark on your ass. you bring one hand away from the iron grip you have on rafes shoulders to rub at your clit.

“let me do that for you.” rafe slaps your hand away, being careful not to hit you with the lit end of the cigarette, wanting to get his fingers back on your slickness.

you smile, knowing rafe likes it when he’s the one who makes you cum. he sticks the cigarette back between in the corner of his mouth, showing off how familiar he is with the action as he takes a puff and blows it out without using his hands.

you know you’re going to smell like smoke later as he brings his fingers to your clit, circling on the outside before flicking it as you clench your cunt around him every time you pull up before letting loose and slamming back down.

rafe can’t speak to warn you that he’s close for risk of his cigarette falling out of his mouth, but you can tell just from the way his cock swells inside of you that he’s not going to last much longer.

“faster, rafe.” you place a hand over the back of his as his fingers speed up, toying with your bud the perfect amount as you let out a loud moan, not caring even if someone did walk up the stairs.

your orgasm overtakes your body, unable to keep moving as you slump forward, rafes fingers slowing as you let your head fall onto his shoulder, trying to breathe as he suddenly pulls his hand away from your clit, gripping onto your hips with both hands and bouncing you once, twice, and then a third time on his cock before he’s cumming, flooding your insides.

“fuck.” rafe groans, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, keeping one hand on your ass to make sure you don’t get up yet, wanting to enjoy the feeling of your fluttering walls around him for longer.

you turn your head to the side, giving his neck a kiss and nuzzling your nose against his skin as you both breathe heavily, coming down for your collective high.

you sit up after a moment, realizing that you’re going to start leaking out as rafe softens.

“rafey-”

“yeah, alright.” he sighs, letting you pull off of him, his cock flopping down against his skin. you can’t bring yourself to stand up and actually take care of the cum, opting to pull your panties back in place and hope that they catch everything. 

you pull the top of your dress back up over your dress, adjusting your boobs and regretting your decision to go braless as your nipples poke through the material.

you watch as rafe tucks himself back into his pants, lifting off his lap slightly so he can redo his jeans.

“gimme.” you try to take the cigarette out of rafes hand, but he stops you, taking a deep drag for himself before dropping the almost finished cig onto the ashtray, taking your face in his hands and bringing you close.

your mouth slots open, and he blows the smoke into your mouth as you inhale it. you hold it for a moment before exhaling, letting the smoke rise around you.

rafe smiles at your actions, pressing your lips together in a long kiss, knowing you’re not going back down to the party any time soon.

[measuredingold]

more cuddling with noah, but written properly 🥲 very short so i’m not considering this a fic so no word count and will probably tag this as a headcanon <3 anyways enjoy

cw/tw: fluff fluff fluff that’s literally it

A sigh from the top of the stairs breaks you out of your doom scrolling, eyes looking up from your phone to find Noah already staring at you.

His brows were furrowed and lips set in a deep frown, and the bags under his eyes made it clear he's been up a lot longer than you realized. Your eyes drop to your phone again to check the time, finding yourself frowning that it's well into the evening, and this is your first time seeing Noah since breakfast.

You look up. "Hi baby."

He sighs again before trudging down the steps, and you can practically see the heaviness of whatever is on his mind weighing on him. You shift on the couch to get in a much more comfortable position, back pressed into the cushions, and your arms opening once Noah gets closer to you. He gently falls onto you with a groan before wrapping his arms around your middle the best he can.

"Hi." He mumbles, face burying against the crook of your neck. One of your hands immediately finds a way to his hair, fingers carding through it while the other rests on his back.

"What's up?"

You feel his body slowly start to melt into yours, burrowing himself closer to you. You shiver at the feeling of his hands sliding up under your shirt, cool to the touch.

"Can't get this one part right." His voice is muffled against your neck and you can barely understand him, but don't bother moving him. You know this is the first time all day he's been semi-relaxed. "Pissing me off."

"Take a break, honey."

"I am." Noah groans. "Right now. Gimme like... 10 minutes, then I'll head back up."

You laugh softly, scratching at his scalp gently before smoothing down his hair. "You need a much longer break than that. How long have you been at it?"

"Uh..." It takes much longer for him to respond, brain probably fried from staring at his screen for so long. "Sometime this morning?"

"I figured that much. You were working before I even got up."

"Needed to get a head start on it." He yawns loudly then and tries to snuggle his body closer to yours, fingers digging into the skin at your sides.

"You can work on it tomorrow." You can't stop the frown forming on your lips, hand running up and down his back. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"...This morning."

"Noah."

"I knooow." It comes out as a whine and you can't help but laugh again, turning your head to press a kiss to the side of his head. "I forgot. Too caught up in the song. I didn't realize how much time had passed until like, 30 minutes ago."

"Want me to make you something? Or takeout?"

Another long moment of silence follows your question, and you think briefly that maybe he had already fallen asleep, the exhaustion catching up to him. Eventually you hear him make a noise and wiggle his body closer to yours, nose pressing against the base of your neck.

"...Takeout?"

"We can do that. Chinese?" Noah nods against you. "Want me to order it now?"

"In a second." He sighs out and you can't help but shiver at the feeling of his breath against your neck. "I just wanna lay here for a while longer."

You practically melt at his words and your hand drops from his hair to wrap your arms around him fully. You wish it was under better circumstances, but you loved whenever he was in one of these moods. Where he needed to be as close to you as possible, practically needing to live in your skin to feel somewhat sane. You squeeze him to your chest, feeling him try to wiggle his way closer to you.

"Whatever you want, my love."

He practically purrs at that and your face flushes when you feel the brush of his lips against your skin.

"Thank you." He murmurs in response before relaxing against your chest again, letting out a deep sigh you think he's been holding in.

You don't say anything, just squeeze him tighter to you as you both lay there in silence, basking in the comfort of each other.

[golbrocklovely]

cultish love // colby brock

A/N: first off, so sorry for this being so late, i had a lot of things i had to edit about this fic. also this is my longest fic ever ! like the other fic before this, this is a AU version of colby… where he, you guessed it, is a cult leader. and he is also corrupt (but like aren't all cult leaders). again this deals with some possible heavy themes, so give a good read of the trigger warnings before reading ahead. i've always joked about colby being able to lead a cult, and that's basically where this idea came from. this fic also took a turn i wasn't expecting, but i like it anyway. also the first half is written as a journal entry (all italized) and then the rest is an actual fic (not italized). lmk what you think, and happy haunting !

prompt: you're a journalist, and your next big story is on the 'empathic love' cult, led by none other than colby brock. this cult is not known well, but you are getting a first hand look at them and what they do. and quickly, colby takes a liking to you. || fem!reader x AU!cult leader!colby brock

trigger warning: SMUT, no actual sex but you do get mentally fucked (it will make sense in the story), cult vibes all around, love bombing, cursing, supernatural powers, colby is very intense and kinda scary but also still his charming self, slight dubcon similar in vain to sam's story - you never say no outright, but you do have general feelings of 'wtf is this, idk if i like' so if that's too much for you, feel free to read something else :), colby's aura is crazy good at giving you visions, strangers-to-soulmates?? don't know if that's a tag lol, also…. colby's technically bisexual in this????? but like barely

word count: 8610

I've been a reporter for only five years, and this story.... it could make or break my career. Cults aren't as prevalent as they once were way back when. They still exist, just in the shadows. A lot quieter on most fronts. Usually disguised as a business or religion, for tax reasons of course. But this cult, Empathic Love, is unlike any cult I've heard of.

Of course, they don't call themselves a cult, but that's what they are. How else would you describe a bunch of randos following one man around wherever he goes?

They only started so many years ago, right before I graduated university. The main founder, Colby Brock, is a pragmatic individual, according to his followers. The cult began blowing up in my town a little over two years ago, and now people flock from all over the world to visit the Love Compound. You would think it's Disney World the way people grow excited about it.

But I am here to get to the truth of this cult. What is their motive? What are they planning to do? Will this be another Waco or Heaven's Gate? What sinister beliefs hide underneath the modern-day hippie aesthetic they show?

These notes will document everything I experience for the next couple of days. And in case I go missing, these are my proof of who's to blame.

I don't think it will go that far, but you can never be too sure.

~~~~

Day 1 - Investigation

I'm still incredibly surprised I was allowed to come onto the Love Compound. The leader himself apparently reached out to my boss and told them that they wanted someone to come down and interview the group. They allow visitors from time to time, "new recruits" as some of the townspeople call them, but reporters have never been allowed in. Not once. Until me.

Driving up to the compound was nerve-wracking. I never imagined I would be nervous; I've interviewed plenty of criminals in my years, have done full blown investigations into scary, horrifying crimes. But something about this place freaked me out. Partially because I didn't know what I was getting into. But another part of me, and I will never admit this out loud, felt... at home.

The only promise I made to myself was I wouldn’t drink any kool-aid while there. So, I plan to stick to that. Pretend my previous statement never existed.

I was greeted by a beautiful woman when I got there: Avery. No one went by last names. And some apparently changed their names altogether, which was not surprising. My guess is there were most likely criminals hanging out amongst the group. But I had no proof of that, just a hunch. It easily could be a safe haven for those wanting to escape whatever life they had before.

The compound was three Victorian style mansions connected to each other and had a decent size farm attached - about 222 acres. Avery told me about all of the vegetables and chickens they farmed. Everything was organic and used up as often as possible. Anything that couldn't be eaten or produced too much for the only 100ish people in the compound, was sold at the farmer's market or given away to the local food bank. Avery explained to me very clearly that everyone in the compound chipped in one way or another. Some still worked normal jobs, but just lived here with everyone. But she noted that Colby hoped in the near future no one would have to work at all and they would be self-sufficient in a couple years.

A cult with future plans? Almost unheard of.

I told Avery that I was given an all-access pass to ask anything I wanted to, and nothing I asked could be ignored or deflected. She agreed to an interview. I recorded all of it, but here are the highlights of what I gathered.

I asked her why Colby was such a secretive man. There were very few photos of him that did exist out there, but all that was rumored about him was his alluring eyes and generally attractive presence. She agreed that he was handsome, describing his as having "ocean blue eyes" and his voice was to die for. "Deep and arousing", as she explained.

I noted that she seemed almost lost in thought at the idea of him, like she was envisioning him directly in front of her. Strange behavior; but not for a cult follower. Many end up falling in love with their leader, believing they have a genuine relationship with said person.

I bought up the name of the group, Empathic Love, and said it felt a little too inviting. She laughed and told me that it was right on the money - the best way to describe why everyone was there. She expressed to me that so many of Colby's followers wanted peace and love and light, and that being in this group felt like that. It was rewarding to be surrounded by those that cared and wanted to see each other succeed. Life outside the walls of the compound was rough, scary, draining; but inside, it was all love.

Call me cynical, but I don't believe that for a second. It took all the strength I had to keep from rolling my eyes at her. But I could tell from her voice, her motions... she was telling the truth. Well, her truth.

I wanted to know what brought her here, so she spoke of her previous life. She was abused growing up, moved around a lot in foster care. She was almost homeless, and then one day she ran into Colby. He had just begun the Empathic Love group, and she just knew she had to stick with him. Her life immediately turned around the moment he was in her life. The adoration in her eyes told me a different story, so I pressed her - "are you and Colby... together?" She smiled and said no, but she knew that they were life partners before, just not currently.

Oh... so it's one of those types of cults.

She said that Colby doesn't have a second in command, wife, girlfriend, whatever. Everyone is equal and heard. He's just the face of the group, which is a bit ironic given even I have no clue what he looks like. I knew he was young, in his mid-20s. But other than that, no idea.

I needed to know, why stay? What keeps you here? A dreamy look came over her, like she had said this a million times before: "Colby. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Chills ran up my spine at the tone of her voice. It was dull, and her words sounded like a mantra, the way she said them so easily.

I wrapped up my interview with her, quiring if I was allowed to interview others. She said yes and began sending over random people one-by-one to me.

If I hadn't gotten chills from her first, I would have from everyone else. Something about seeing everyone saying similar things, smiling happily, like the ship isn't sinking around them was eerie. It made my stomach churn when I would ask questions I already asked Avery, and get almost the same speech back.

I interviewed about 15 people. All variety of ages and genders. I suddenly realized that there were no children around, and everyone was over the age of 21.

Consenting adults… minus the supposed brainwashing.

A couple of the interviewees stuck out to me:

Penelope, 25. Her upbringing was similar to Avery's, but she still kept in contact with her family. Apparently, she wasn't the only one like that either. Many still kept in touch and even visited their loved ones. I asked her to describe Colby, tell me anything about him. She giggled, almost like a schoolgirl, and began to weave such a story about him. He was kind and caring. His smile was contagious, just like his laugh. And his singing voice was fantastic. She talked about him like he was a boy band member, and she was his biggest fan. I asked her to give one word to describe him, and she said "Love. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Greg, 36. He had fallen into rough times, and desired a fresh start. He had heard about this group online, and figured checking them out while he was in town wouldn't hurt. And that was a couple years ago. I wondered why he didn't feel weird listening to someone that was younger than him, and he shrugged. It was nice not having eyes on him. He loved being in a wallflower, and he believed that Colby deserved all the love he got from everyone in the group. Every ounce he got was ten-folded back into the group. Greg had never felt so connected to a group of people and he knew it was all thanks to Colby. "He brought love into my life like I never have had it before. Because that's who he is: love."

Heather, 29. She mentioned how for most of her life she felt like shit. Her confidence was at an all-time low when she met Colby. He encouraged her to keep at it, to love herself and find happiness everywhere. And by spending more and more time with him, she did. She has never felt more confident about herself, her life, her direction, and Colby is the reason for that. The tone that took over her voice when she bought him up was odd. It was very similar to a partner describing the love of their life, almost like wedding vows. I asked her haphazardly about her love life, how that was going for her. And she told me she had been on many dates - something she never used to do back when she was younger or before Colby. But she did note that regardless of who she ends up with, she knows that a part of her heart will always belong to Colby. They were connected, forever. "Love and light and happiness is what I desired, and I got it - all because Colby exists in my life now."

It felt like I was getting nowhere with some of these interviews. Many said the same thing, Colby being love and light and blah blah blah. I wanted someone that wasn't gonna just quote to me whatever mantra he made them learn. And luck was on my side, because I was able to interview their newest member, Ash. They were 23, and very beautiful. There was an almost smugness about them, like they knew they were the shiny new toy on the block. The confidence only a young 20-something year old could have.

I asked them, point blank, about Colby. Be brutally honest. They told me he was hot, and that's what drew them to him. They liked the idea of living in a group setting, especially since they grew up with many brothers and sisters. They liked helping out, and they liked knowing that Colby was keeping an eye on them the most recently. I then followed up with how long it took for them to join the group. "Three days. That's how long it takes for everyone."

I questioned them about the "Colby is love" thing, and they agreed it was a bit strange, but they couldn't help but feel the same way as everyone else. They were like a moth to a flame when it came to him. Everything about him was hypnotizing, entrancing. It was like staring at the sun; even though you knew to look away, you just couldn't help it.

Then I had to know: were they sleeping with him? Most of these cults feed off of the leader fucking every person they wanted to and leaving other members high and dry. But for some reason, it felt as if Colby was sleeping with everyone with the way they all talked about him. Ash dissented, saying no one was sleeping with him. He didn't sleep with any of his followers. But they all shared a deep, sensual mental connection with him. They felt like, sometimes, he was in their soul. And that sensation alone was euphoric, bordering on orgasmic. They also knew that in another life, they would have been together, similar to what Avery said.

It was then I knew that this group was clinically insane, or just really infatuated by what Colby was selling. It had to have been some crazy brainwashing. But it was odd; people were allowed to leave, to see loved ones, to have lives outside of the compound walls. Hell, some had dating lives that included those not here! That's unheard of, and completely stupid on Colby's part if he wants to keep things going.

A cult leader that wanted to watch his world implode.... I had to meet him. I had to meet the myth that was Colby Brock. And tomorrow I get my chance to.

~~~~

Day 2 - Interview with Colby

I feel the need to explain that these are my notes, not really meant for anyone else to see. And really, the only reason anyone would be seeing this is if I disappear or got murdered.

So, I say all of that just so I know, for myself, that this is a safe space for me to express my truest emotions and thoughts after interviewing Colby.

And all I can say, honestly, is that... I get it. I understand it now.

I felt my nerves hit their break last night before going to sleep, unable to stop my mind reeling from what was to come. I ended up bringing along a bodyguard, or really a photographer. I had known Trey since I started working as a journalist, and I knew I could rely on him to get us out of the Empathic Love compound if anything went south. I wasn't sure what I was up against when I went to interview Colby, but God... I didn't think I was so underprepared.

I met him in his office, Avery walked me over to it. It was up in the attic of the third house. It overlooked the entire property with wide windows. For an attic, I expected it to feel dark and dusty, but surprisingly it was light and airy. Almost like being out in the woods and taking a deep breath.

Colby was sitting in his main office chair. He spun around to see us, a light smile on his face. I'll be honest - I was taken aback by his beauty. I understood Ash's whole spiel about him being attractive and looking at him was like looking at the sun. It was intense. He was intense. His blue eyes bore into me, almost like they could see through me. I felt chills, but they weren't of fear. It was out of... excitement, of awe.

He greeted me, giving me a warm handshake. I hate to admit that I almost blushed at the sound of him saying my name. I had to take a couple deep breaths before starting. Avery left the room, and Trey sat outside the door, in case of backup.

I recorded our interview, knowing that I couldn't keep track of everything he said. But listening back to it now, his voice.... it's like a song. A beautiful, spellbinding song. I could almost fall asleep to it....

I asked him about his life, and how he came to be a leader for a group like Empathic Love. He spoke of his upbringing lightly, barely scraping the surface. He talked about growing up pretty normally, having a loving family, a great friend group, and then one day realizing that he could make a change in the world. That many people loved him and loved being around him. And that's when he knew that if he could make their lives better, he would. So, he started Empathic Love. Originally, it was just gonna be a safehouse for those that needed it. But then more and more people joined and suddenly, it grew into what it was today.

I asked where his family was now. "In Kansas," he told me. He said nothing further than that.

He humbly spoke of all the love he received from his followers, or his "friends" as he put it. They all cared about him in a way that he only wished he could return tenfold. I questioned him about the whole "Colby is love" thing. "How come everyone says almost the exact same thing, like they've been brainwashed into saying it?" He didn't even trip over his words as he spoke matter-of-factly to me. "I didn't come up with that phrase, they did. You would have to ask them. I take it as the highest form of a compliment, truly. I'll be honest, it's a bit embarrassing at times when they call me that, but I can't help what they do. I appreciate their love, nonetheless."

I continued asking him about different topics, until finally reaching the one I was most intrigued about. "How many of your followers - excuse me - friends, have you slept with?" He smirked, smirked, at me and said "None. Did any of them tell you that we slept together?"

"No, but the way they talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass does seem a bit odd, don't you think?"

He looked unphased. God, he had an answer for everything. "I'll be honest with you, some of my friends might be in love with me. But I make it abundantly clear that while I love them, and love their love, I don't have feelings for them. I'm still looking for the one."

I remember holding back a glare, "So, you're celibate?"

"Now, I never said that." He let out a chuckle, then his eyes darkened. "Why do you care so much about my sex life? Unless of course, you want to join it."

I tried ignoring his gaze and his words but stuttered through my next question. “Then who exactly is the right one for you, if it's not one of your followers or friends?”

It took him a while to answer, he even closed his eyes for a bit. He sat up once he knew, sauntering over to his window that overlooked it all. "I imagine the one for me is someone that will bring peace to me and my life. Someone that for all my faults, can see who I am truly deep down. She will love me, and I will worship her. I will show her what true love feels like. Our souls will be one, because they always have been."

Something strange came over me. I don't know why I said it, but I uttered, "What about looks?"

Who cares about looks! Why did I ask about looks? I was a serious journalist, not a reporter for Star Magazine!

He looked over his shoulder at me, "Looks aren't that important to me. What matters is mind and soul. Who you are deep down. But if I had to pick… someone like you. I feel someone like you would be a perfect fit around here."

I wanted to give him the sassiest voice and rebuttal I could muster, but deep down I was shaking. Energy raced through my body, like I had been electrified.

He kept his back to me, staring out the window. “I'm not trying to be overly complimentary. I'm just being honest. But I can tell that you would do so well to have us around. To have... me, in your life. I bring a lot of love to people's lives, that's for sure. But I also bring a lot of drive, and passion, and intimacy.”

Intimacy?

“People open up when I'm around. They tell me everything, even things they never dreamt of telling another person. And I allow it, because clearly, they needed to express it. And once they do, it's like the floodgates open. Love and light just start pouring into them, into their life, and it's overwhelming - but so worth it. Doesn't that sound nice?”

I guess so...

“I bring happiness to so many. My friends have told me that they get jittery around me, I'm like a shot of adrenaline. And that energy, that power, courses through them. And when it gets expressed, it comes out in…” He took a long pause, turning back to me. The look in his eyes… I can remember it as if he was still in front of me. “Pleasurable ways.”

I hate admitting this, and it's embarrassing to say it even now, but I felt a jolt of... something, run through me. I won't even say what it was out loud, in fear of never being taken seriously again. But what happened after that, I don't know if words can even express it well.

Colby continued talking, but I couldn't pick up on any of it. He was talking up a storm, but I couldn't help the sensations I was feeling. Even in my wildest of fantasies, I've never felt anything in reality. It was all in my mind. But in that very moment, it felt like it was happening to me.

I felt lips tread up my neck, stopping just below my ear. A hot, low moan breathed into my ear. My spine tingled at the sound, my hands gripping the armrests of the chair. If I didn't know any better, I would think Colby was behind me, making those noises. My hands suddenly felt hands on top of them. My eyes widened, looking down, but nothing was there. I couldn't really move my arms once the invisible hands were there. My whole body felt numb and heavy, relaxed. My mind was the one on edge, worried as to why I was feeling all of this.

I hadn't eaten or drank anything at the compound. Maybe it was being poured into the room by the vents? I don't know, but something was making me feel this way.

The invisible hands drifted up my arms, massaging my shoulders for a moment. My head lulled back, almost hitting the back of the chair. My mind was on high alert, but my body was about ready to fall asleep. The hands relaxed me so much that my eyes began to flutter.

But then... they drifted down my torso. They traced along my neck gently, drawing small, insignificant patterns. The hands grew lower and lower until they finally were on my chest. I felt the hands cup my breasts softly, my breath hitching in my throat. They kneaded my tits gingerly, my nipples hardening in my bra. I bit my lip, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when the delicate fingers of these invisible hands found my nipples, gently pinching them.

I remember closing my eyes tight. Trying to clear my mind. This wasn't actually happening to me. There was no way. This was a psychosis or a drug hallucination that was happening to me and Colby was doing nothing about it.

One hand drifted down my body, stopping right above my sex. I suddenly became very aware at how wet I was, my eyes widening. I felt a rush of blood flow through my cheeks. I was about to get caught. These invisible hands made me wet, and I couldn't stop them.

And the terrible thing was, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to finish the job. To get me off... in front of Colby. One hand rose back up my body, grabbing my neck and turning my face to look up at him.

A deep voice whispered harshly, "You want him, don't you?"

I didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out. But deep down, I knew.

"Say it, and it's yours. Say you want him. And he'll have you... forever."

I opened my mouth. I felt the words almost leave my lips. I stuttered out something. I closed my eyes, my body feeling high.

And then in a split second, it was all gone. The room grew quiet, and Colby cleared his throat. "Y/N, are you okay? You look flush."

I jolted out of my seat, being able to move freely again. I looked around and realized Colby was sitting once more, staring at me concerned. I finished the interview abruptly, saying I had everything I needed - even though I definitely didn't. And then he uttered words I wish I didn't hear.

"If you want, come back tomorrow. We are having a celebration here. I would love if you came by, even if for an hour."

I nodded, not even really taking in what he said, and left. Trey was confused as to why I bum-rushed out of the room, but I never told him the truth. How could I?

I knew deep down I shouldn't have said yes to go to the party. But getting that footage would be killer for my article. Interviews are great, but a party at a cult compound? That's bound to end terribly (for Colby, but great for me).

But something in me can't shake this feeling that I basically signed myself up for the end. End of what? I'm not sure. But I'll find out tomorrow.

~~~~~~

Stepping back onto the compound made my heart race. I was nervous as all hell, and just wanted this day to be over with already. Today was my last day doing this story. I was counting the minutes to when I could go back to my office and write about how this place was insane, or whatever narrative I planned to write.

I had enough proof that something was up here. All I needed to do was a bit more digging. And during the party is when I planned to do it.

Avery walked up to me, smiling brightly. "Hey, Y/N! How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay. I know it's a bit early, but Colby never specified when the party was going to take place." I replied.

"No, you're totally fine. The party is gonna happen later. Right now, though, we have something going on that you'll definitely want to see." She clapped excitedly.

"Oh? And what is that?" I questioned.

"We are inducting a new member!" she exclaimed giddily. "There's a whole process that we do, and everyone is involved. I imagine that will bode well for your article if you see it firsthand. It's all taking place in that tent."

I stared over at the huge tent, its plastic cover doors strangely inviting.

I hummed, "Sure, I'll be there in a moment."

Avery nodded, turning on her heels and prancing over to the tent, following in other members.

"What's happening in there?" Trey asked.

"Apparently they are inducting someone new into their cult." I informed him.

He blinked. "Group, you mean."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Make sure to capture as much as you can."

He shook his camera, giving me a wink, "On it."

We both walked in, many members still up and around, giving everyone hugs and chatting. Avery waved me down, patting the seat next to her. I walked over and sat. My body tingled in anticipation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My breathing picked up as everyone grew silent, the doors opening. Colby walked in, and people rushed to their seats.

Colby called out, "Hello everyone, good morning."

"Good morning, Colby." Everyone said in unison.

Jesus, that was creepy.

"A lot of things are going to be different today. First, we have guests watching our festivities. Y/N and Trey. Everyone, give them a hand." He gestured to the two of us.

The tent exploded in applause, Avery evening rubbing my back sweetly. It felt like I was being congratulated on something I didn't achieve, my cheeks flushing at the acknowledgement.

"And secondly, sadly, the new member we were going to have decided not to stay." He frowned, his face dropping.

Members gasped, some audible "oh no" echoed around the tent. Colby nodded his head sympathetically. “I know, but fret not. I think this will be a learning experiment for our new guests. We can still do our traditional motions of having someone join us. But, imagine it as if it's a mock ceremony instead. Ms. Y/N, would you please step up here?”

My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes, the first time since yesterday. I glanced at Avery, who grinned enthusiastically. She pushed me out of my seat, my body following her lead. I gazed around, finding Trey, who pulled away from his camera with a concerned look. I stumbled up the walkway, stepping on stage with Colby.

Colby lowered his voice so I could only hear him, moving away from the microphone. "I know you wanted to know about how we induct someone into our little home, so I figured why not use you as an example? We aren't actually inducting you, in case you’re worried. This is just what would happen if you were joining. Are you okay with that?"

I gazed around the huge, white tent, making eye contact with many people in the audience. They all looked so eager, waiting to hear my response. Some were even shaking with excitement.

I stuttered, feeling Colby squeeze my hands to bring my attention back to him, "I-I guess so."

"Fantastic." He turned, still holding one of my hands, "Alright everyone, you know the drill."

The crowd cheered, suddenly many lining up to a microphone at the side of the stage. Colby lightly pulled me to a cushioned throne, sitting me down. "So here's what's going to happen. People are going to come up to that microphone, and they are going to give you plenty of love. Genuine love. And then the next person will go, and so on until everyone has spoken."

"Everyone here? Like, all hundred plus of you?" I whispered.

"Yes. It's gonna be a while, so get cozy." He laughed, rubbing my shoulders.

Time felt frozen as slowly everyone came up and said something nice about me. Some were quick, mostly just commenting on how nicely I dressed or how the stories I had covered in the past were interesting and thoughtful. But others, it's like they could see into my soul and point out the exact thing I was insecure about. Everyone was complimentary and it was nice, but exhausting.

The line had dwindled down, and the next person to speak was Avery.

She stepped up the microphone, giving me a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N. I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. These couple days of getting to know you, being interviewed by you, have just been the highlight of my life. You are such a lovely presence to be around, and you deserve all the success you've gotten these last couple years."

Lots of people in the crowd nodded, agreeing with Avery. She continued, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to add - you are so deserving of love. You are easy to love too, and I hope that you are surrounded by people that make you feel that way. I know that this is just a mock ceremony, but I truly believe you would be such a great addition to us. I know you don't trust us, but I hope that soon you will find that you have a safe place here. Even if you never come back here again. This is your home now, and forever will be."

My chest heaved suddenly, tears welling up in my eyes. What the fuck is happening right now? Why was I crying at what she said? Sure, it was sweet and kind, but... how did she know I needed to hear that?

I turned my head, wiping the tears before anyone could see them fall. The crowd clapped as Avery left, going back to her seat.

The last couple people were a blur, my mind still hanging onto Avery's words. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I gazed up, seeing Colby's beautiful face staring down at me.

"The ceremony is done. Now, time to party."

~~~~~~

It had been a couple hours since the ceremony, my body feeling almost numb but jittery all at the same time. It was hard to shake all the love and words that were thrown my way today. Sure, some were probably just lying and saying random things because they had to, because they were conditioned to. But it freaked me out how some just... hit the right spots, knew my insecurities.

The party itself was fine. Two of the houses had parties happening in them, and since all three houses were connected, you could leave one and walk into another. There was a dancefloor full of people, and multiple fully stocked bars. Tons of food was at each table. It honestly looked like an adult prom. But I wasn't in a partying mood. Trey, on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. Girls and guys surrounded him, laughing at his jokes and bringing him plates of food and wine. One girl kept rubbing his thigh, staring at him longingly.

I wanted to leave. I had had enough of today, and I just wanted to be as far away from Empathic Love as I could be. I decided fresh air was what I needed, so I got up and slid out the back door of one of the houses, taking a deep breath. There were still too many people around, but I noticed the last house, the one with Colby's office in it, had no lights on and no one around it. I walked through the yards, stopping once I was by the back porch of the third house.

I sighed, leaning back against a railing. I could still hear the party going on, almost getting louder now that I wasn't there. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed.

“Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Colby's voice broke through my thoughts.

I exhaled. “Hi, Colby.”

He cocked his head, “Are you doing okay? You seem... upset.”

I felt this sudden rush of anger, knowing in reality he was to blame for all of this. “No, I'm not doing alright. I want to go home, I'm extremely overwhelmed by this party and all the people around here. That ceremony was too much for me to deal with, and the only way for me to get out of here is Trey and he's getting rubbed down by your followers!”

He took a step back, putting his hands up defensively. “Woah, that was a lot. You must have needed that release.”

I glared, “You think?”

“Look, I get it. It's a lot to take in. I myself don't love going to all these parties. It can be really overwhelming and if I'm honest, it gives me a lot of anxiety,” he admitted casually.

“You get anxiety?” I scoffed, “How? Everyone here loves you.”

“I know. That's the stressful part!” He sat on the railing, turning to me. “I'm the leader of this family. I have to make all the right decisions, and sometimes that means upsetting some of the people closest to me. Not to mention, so many eyes are on me, and it's just all too much sometimes. Even if you think this group is a cult, I still care for everyone here. I make sure they are fed, have a job, and have a life outside of here. And that's a lot to take on.”

“How do you deal with all of it, then?” I questioned.

“Patience. And a lot of alone time when I can get it - through meditation, specifically,” he laughed. “I was actually going to go meditate before I found you. Would you like to join me?”

I shook my head. “No, I'm good.”

“Are you sure? Look, at the very least, it will get you away from the party and all the noise. You don't even have to join me, you can just... sit in the room with me while I do it.” He argued, shrugging his shoulders.

I gazed at the party, everyone had grew rowdier while we were talking, and I didn't even notice. But my head felt like it was spinning from the noise alone. I sighed, nodding my head. Colby smiled, opening the door to the house, and I walked in first. I followed him up to his office, sitting down on his couch as he sat in the center of the room on the floor.

I raised an eyebrow. “That's where you meditate?”

“Yeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I feel so much more grounded... on the ground.” He replied cheekily.

I snickered, sitting back and watching him. He crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took multiple breaths until they were low and shallow. I furrowed my brow, my eyes never leaving his form.

It almost seemed like he was asleep, or in a hypnosis of some sort. He was completely still and silent. A dull glow appeared at the top of his head, growing brighter and larger. I leaned away from him, my eyes widening at the sight. What the fuck is that...?

An aura grew around him, surrounding him completely. He didn't move, unfazed by it. His eyes remained closed, and with each breath it grew.

"How... are you doing that?" I uttered, my mouth a gape.

"Doing what?" He spoke in a monotone voice.

"That... aura. How are you doing that?" I pressed.

“I've always been able to do it since I was young. You can get closer if you want to.” He suggested.

How did he know I was still far away?

I stepped off the couch, moving closer to him. I kept my distance, but the aura was almost pulling me in. It was beautiful, the light reflecting and growing bigger. I was almost engulfed by it, but it stopped right before getting to me. I could feel its warmth, its energy. It was calling to me, beckoning me to step towards it.

The aura wrapped around me, filling me with light and love. Or at least that's what it felt like. I gasped at the sensation, my legs shaking underneath me. I breathed in deeply, my lungs filling up with fresh air. I didn't feel like I was in the room anymore. I felt like I was flying, the world almost zooming around me.

“Let your body relax, Y/N. I know it's so much to take in.” Colby’s calming voice spoke.

I felt my body give out on me, falling onto the soft rug. I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Visions began to swirl in my mind and around me.

How is any of this happening?

He answered, reading my mind. “Because of me. Because of us. Because of the connection you and I share.”

My body felt very heavy, unable to move even if I wanted to. I could move my eyes, and out of the corner of them, I saw Colby stand up. The aura remained around us, almost engulfing the entire room.

“You know, I knew the moment you stepped foot on to the compound's grounds, you were going to like it here. You were going to stay.” He smiled sincerely, gazing down at my body.

I blinked, confused. “What? I-I don't plan to-“

He cut me off, “This is the final step, Y/N. Everyone gave you love, people celebrated you, and now... I'm allowing you in.”

I wanted to shake my head, but couldn’t. “But I don't want to join.”

He chuckled, “Yes you do. If you didn't want it, none of this would have worked on you. You wouldn't be seeing what is directly in front of your eyes.”

The visions morphed around me, suddenly showing Colby and I. But we weren't us, we were different people, at a different point in time. But I could feel it was us. We were in love, growing a family together. Our lives were beautiful.

What the fuck is this?

“That is our past, or present, or future,” he winked. “The thing is, Y/N, I never seek out anyone. They all seem to find me.”

“That's not true, you emailed my boss about being interviewed.” I remarked.

"Oh, you are so forgetful, Y/N. You emailed us, begging to interview me and anyone else that said yes. I only agreed because I knew you wanted to meet with me. You sounded very eager to join in your email." Colby pulled out a piece of paper, reading from it happily, "Dear whoever reads this, I'm hoping to score an interview with your group, Empathic Love, for an article I am writing. I would love to meet Colby, and really pick apart his brain on why he created said group. Maybe I could even join if you guys win me over. Please let me know if any of this sounds of interest to you. Sincerely, Y/N of Global Gazette."

He leaned down, staring into my eyes mischievously, "Now does that sound like someone that didn't want to be here?"

My heart raced, suddenly scared. “Why don't I remember writing that?”

“I couldn't tell you. All I know is you wanted to be here. And there's a reason for it.” He sat down on the ground next to me. I wanted to get up and run, but my body stayed still, heavy. “Growing up, I realized very early on that certain people just... gravitated to me. A lot of women, yes. But really it was anyone. And not only did they gravitate towards me, they became obsessed with me. At first, I was confused, uninterested in ever going through that. Who wants someone obsessed with them? But then I realized how much good I could do with so many people rallying behind me.”

He continued, “As I got older, my ability, or power, or whatever it is - grew twice as strong. Suddenly, all the people around me followed me, did anything and everything I could ask for. Then, I began getting visions, and I understood why this was the case. Everyone here: we had a past life together. Their souls and mine have always been connected. They find me and then continue to stay. And almost always, they fall in love with me. It's just so glorious.”

“You're insane.” I mumbled.

He hummed, “Interesting, especially since you’re seeing the same things I am.”

It was true. The whole time he spoke, I saw vision after vision of our past lives together. We were always destined to meet, destined to be with one another.

“But the thing is, I know you're different from all the rest. You and I, we are meant to be together forever. You are meant to love me forever, and I am meant to love you. That's why my abilities affect you so greatly.” Colby divulged.

“What if I say no? What if I want to leave?” I grunted, trying to shake free.

“You've had the ability to go all this time. You just don't want to. You know how much love I can give you. You know how much pleasure I can give you as well.” He bit his lip, his eyes snaking up and down my body, “You've known that since yesterday, haven't you?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks, memories of yesterday played in my head.

“And do you know what’s crazy about that? That's not even half the pleasure I can give you.” Colby kneeled next to me, a devilish smile on his lips. His hand lightly brushed my face, cupping my warm cheek sweetly.

A burst of arousal raced through me, my body spasming in ecstasy. “Oh my God!”

“I know, it's a lot to take in. But I just want to make you feel good, darling. You deserve it.” He leaned in slowly, “You are mine, after all.”

"This is what your followers meant by a deep and sensual mental connection," I groaned, feeling hands all over my body, touching me in the most lustful of ways. "You got inside their heads and mentally fucked them."

“...That's one way of wording it. But if they didn't trust me, if they didn't already want me, it wouldn't happen.” He winced playfully, “So in reality, it's your fault.”

“Fuck you.” I growled.

“But baby, that's what's happening,” Colby laughed darkly. “Those hands, those kisses and bites... that's all mine. I can tell you're losing it. You want me real bad, but you don't want to admit it. I get it, you’re overwhelmed.”

I felt like my body was getting electrocuted with pleasure. My hips grinded into the air, needing some form of relief. My nipples strained against my bra, wanting any form of touch. I closed my eyes tightly, embarrassment rolling through me as I felt my damp panties against my sex.

Fuck, he was right. I did want this, and him.

I didn't even need to say it out loud. Suddenly I felt a cock slid inside of me, too easily from how wet I had become. I ripped my eyes open, looking around. Colby was watching me from his chair, smirking.

He palmed his hardening dick through his jeans. “Imagine how much better it would be if I was actually inside of you, filling you up with every. fucking. inch.”

I thought about screaming Trey’s name. Maybe he could help me.

He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “He won’t do anything for you, sweetheart. He joined our group just a couple weeks ago. Right around the time you sent the email. So really, you have all the more reason to join us.”

“Even if I join this cult, I will never stay here. I will leave here and never come back.” I hissed.

“And that is your choice to make. But Y/N,” his gaze lowered at me, his eyes intense. “You will never be satisfied. You got barely a taste of what I can offer you, and you're gonna want it forever. Just like everyone else here.”

“You're a- fuuuuuucckk!” I moaned, the cock inside of me hitting my spot deeper. I caught my breath, glaring at him. “Y-You're a freak.”

“Says the girl almost coming to my invisible dick.” He spat, clenching his jaw.

I bit my lip, annoyed at how right he was. The hands exploring my body gripped my ass, slapping it lustfully.

“Okay, okay. I'll agree with you. I am a bit of a freak of nature. But let's not act like I'm some monster. I let people leave. But they always come back because they choose to. I can't force people that far. Pinky promise,” He stuck his pinky out, and I rolled my eyes defiantly. He huffed, “It's not like this place is Scientology, for Christ's sake. We are love. I am love.”

“You are the most tainted form of love that I've ever met.” I retorted, gripping the rug to hide my building arousal.

He deadpanned, “Ow. That hurt.”

Colby strutted over to me, laying down right beside me. The pleasure grew more intense, my hips bucking desperately. His one hand hovered over me, never touching me. It didn't matter, because having him this close felt like his whole body was on top of mine, fucking me hastily.

“If you allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, you might actually come. Because I won't force you to. I'll just keep you here, for hours, riving in pleasure until your brain melts into goo.” He smirked, “How's that sound?”

"I-I hate you." I gritted my teeth. Why did I feel like I was lying?

"No you don't. But soon you'll be able to admit the truth." He leaned his mouth in close, his voice low and sincere, "I know that this place might not be what you imagined your home to be like, but it is. You will always have a place here. You will always be loved here. And I know that's what you want deep down. To be loved unconditionally. To have every fiber of your being satisfied. And if you let me, I will do that. I will please you every night, however you want me to. But for me to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let love in."

The cock inside of me pounded faster and faster. I could barely think anymore. The only thing on my mind... was him. The lives we had together, the life we could be having. I knew I shouldn't want it, but I did. I wanted him in my life, forever. He was what was missing, and I couldn't live one more day without him.

I mewled loudly, my hips thrusting up erotically. Colby's hand cupped my face gently, turning my head to look him in the eyes.

His alluring eyes stared deep into mine, his jaw clenched. "You will always be mine. I am love, and that is all you could ask for."

"You are love, and that's all I could ask for." I repeated mindlessly, grabbing onto his arm desperately.

His face softened, “That's right baby. You're such a good girl for me. My good girl, forever. You want that, don't you?”

“Yessss, please Colby. I want to be yours forever.” I keened.

"You will be. I promise, you will always be mine." His eyes darkened, the pupils almost completely blown out. "You will never leave."

"I won't!" I trembled, my orgasm building closer and closer to the edge.

“You wanna come, Y/N? Get close for me. Don't I feel so good inside of you? You like when I do this?” Colby's hand snaked down my body, rubbing my clit sensually.

I begged wantonly, dying to come. "Pleaseeeeee! Please let me come! I need it! I need you."

"Of course you do, baby. You and I need each other. Our connection is unlike anyone else's. Tell me the truth and I'll let you come." He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear, "Tell me, baby. Say it..."

"I love you," I cried out, right on the edge. I direly wanted him to say it back, knowing it was already the truth.

“I love you too, baby,” he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. “Now, come for me.”

Hot, white pleasure shot through my body. I had the strongest orgasm of my life, my mind shattering as I rode every wave of pleasure that went through me. Colby stayed by my side, shushing me as my high lowered down more and more. He kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, my mind unable to hear or think anything else after a while.

I blacked out at some point but awoke when my body was lifted off the floor and placed softly into a bed. “Wha... happenin?” I slurred.

“Relax, darling. I just brought you to my bed. Well, our bed now,” he chuckled. “I want you to get your rest because tomorrow is a big day for you.”

“What's tomorrow?” I murmured.

“Your introduction to everyone as my soulmate.” Colby informed happily, tucking me in. “Everyone will be so pleased that you changed your mind about joining us.”

I nodded my head, snuggling deep into his bed. He dimmed the lights, whispering softly, "Welcome home, Y/N."

[crazyk-imagine]

Mended Relationships and the Future

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Fem!reader Characters: Fem!reader, Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, Keeley Jones, Jamie Tartt, Rebecca Welton, Isaac Mcadoo, Colin Hughs, Sam Obisanya, Dani Rojas, Jan Maas, Roy Kent, literally all of the players (I just can’t think of their names) Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of pregnancies, mentions of reader not taking care of themselves (don’t do this), Jamie being sweet, reader and Jamie being dummies for a second, the team being so goddamn adorable, the team gives such family vibes, Jamie pretending the reader and he are engaged so he can stay with her, Ted and Beard are a powerful duo, this is my favorite TL fic that I’ve written Word Count: 3,783

A/N: Bits and pieces are based on this post

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You walk into the coach’s office with your hands in your hoodie pocket, clutching onto your phone to keep your hands busy. "Why did you wake me up and force me here, Ted?" 

"That's not a can-do attitude." 

Your expression doesn't change, if anything, you look more tired and drained. Another reason why the mustached man got you out of your home. "Ted." 

He sighs. "I wanted to check in on you, haven't seen you in a minute." 

You sigh. "I would prefer it if I were in my bed right now to be honest with you." 

"After we go out to lunch." 

"I want to be out of here before I run into..." You pause when you almost say his name. "You know what- I'm just- I’m gonna go." You barely turn around and hear the door open. 

It takes you less than a second to duck, which makes Ted feel a little bad but doesn't change his mind. 

He knows you two need to talk, especially when neither of you want to admit who broke up with who... or why it happened. 

Your emotions take a toll on your body again and you crawl towards the trash can, dry heaving until you feel it coming up (again). 

Beard kindly closes the door before anyone could walk in or hear you as Ted rubs the space between your shoulders. 

"How long have you been feeling like this?" 

You shrug. 

"How long?" He asks again. 

"A few weeks." 

Ted glances over at his long-time buddy with wide eyes. "Please don't get upset or take offense when I ask this but have you-" 

'Play dumb. Play dumb.' "Have I what? Use words, my brain isn't functioning off your noises." 

"Is there a possibility that you could be, you know, with child?" 

Your head snaps up. 'He knows.' "Why would you ask that?" 

"You have a few of the signs." 

"When was the last time you went to a doctor?" Beard chimes in. 

"A while ago." 

"So, you know?" 

"Whether or not I'm pregnant with my ex-boyfriend’s baby, who coincidentally told me he doesn't want kids just as I wanted to tell him I do. Yeah, it was right as I was about to tell him I am with child, which is why I've been dodging all of you but you and Beard here," you point to Ted's sidekick, who waves. "Dragged me out of my house." 

"Oh, honey." 

"Does he know?" Coach beard intervenes (again). 

"What do you mean?" 

"You said, you wanted to tell him... did you?" Ted politely asks. 

"He broke up with me, so I didn't give him my surprise, but I tell people it was mutual because he asked me if," the tears roll down your cheeks. "If it was okay. The fucking ex-cockiest player of all, asked me if I was going to be okay, so of course I said yes and then he left. We haven't spoken since." 

"He should know." 

"I know but he is scared to death to have his own kids. Why would I-" You scoot back and rest your head against the wall. "I want to go home. I have a few things coming later today and I need to be there for them. It’s time I start," you take a deep breath. “Getting things ready.” 

"We can get those later, I've gotta make sure you're okay right now." 

"I'd be better if this nausea, vomiting combo would go away." 

"Do you want me to have Keeley get you a ginger ale or something?" 

"Yeah." 

The door opens and there she is. She stares at you with the same look she gives you every time you throw up. "I had a feeling you were going to need this." 

-

Jamie sees what he imagines is a glimpse of you sitting in his coach’s office. He furrows his brows, wondering if it was really, you or if it's a figment of his imagination... again. 

It wouldn’t be the first time this week. 

-

"What?" She practically screams when Ted tells her on behalf of you, the Jamie not knowing part; she already knew you were pregnant, but she thought he knew and decided not to be in either of your lives. Now she feels a little bad about not being nice to him. 

You bury your head in your hands. "Shut up. Don't shout anymore, please." 

"Can you blame me? That's big fucking news babes. I thought he already knew." 

"Yeah, I know. Just, shut the door please." 

She doesn't, so you push yourself up and close the door. 

You sway as you take a step back, “oh, boy.” You can hear their voices but not hear their words. You feel yourself falling backwards before it fades to darkness. 

Ted and Beard catch you, carefully laying you down so the latter can call for an ambulance. 

Jamie steps closer to the office, sensing something’s happened. He opens the door and his jaw dropped as he’s about to ask what's going on until his eyes land on you. 

He immediately falls to his knees beside you, holding your face in his hands, not caring about the rug burn that’s going to ache later. "What happened?" 

No one responds. 

"What fucking happened?" 

Ted doesn't feel he should be the one to tell him and does all that he can to try and calm down his player. "She's fine, she probably didn't have enough to eat for breakfast, is all." 

"Bullshit. She's done that before and never fainted before." He stares down, studying your face. "So, why is she fucking unconscious?" 

-

You don't know anything that happened within the last few hours. 

All you know is that there is an annoying beeping sound coming from the side of you and your one hand is warmer than it normally is. 

You slowly open your eyes, blinking multiple times as you try to adjust to the lighting. You look for the source of the warmth and find Jamie, holding your hand with his head rested on his arm with his head facing you. 

The door opens and you find Ted peaking in. 

The way his shoulder sags in relief makes you feel bad. 

He tiptoes closer and lets you know what happened. 

"Why is he here?" 

He smiles as he peaks over at the sleepy man. "He didn't leave your side." 

"How did he know?" 

"He came in as we were calling for an ambulance. You scared him, he would barely let the paramedics help." 

"Isn't family only allowed in here?" 

"Apparently you two are engaged." 

You owlishly blink. "What?" 

"He said you two were engaged and he needed, no, no. That's not right, he demanded, there it is. He demanded to be in the room with you. I wasn't here for most of it. In the room I mean but I think he knows because he looked very shocked and then came in here when they told him he could and hasn’t left since." 

The coach ignores the fact that your heart monitor spikes as you ask, "he knows?" 

"I think so." 

Jamie moves a little in his sleep. 

"That's my cue to leave." 

"Wait- no. Ted. Come back." You glance between him and Jamie. "Ted," you hiss. "Come back here." 

Jamie squeezes your hand as he slowly begins to wake up. 

You look back at him just in time to hear the door close. You throw your head back and sigh. 

"Sweetheart?" 

You slowly turn your head to stare at him, your eyes becoming sad. 

His shoulders sag in relief as a slow sigh escapes his parted lips. "How are you feeling? I should- I should go get the doctor, shouldn't I?" 

You reach for him, grabbing onto him before he could leave. "Jaim. Jaim?" 

He doesn't turn around but settles back into his seat. 

"Jam-Jam?" 

A sniffle fills the room. 

"Jamie, look at me." 

He shakes his head. You tighten your grip on his arm, ignoring the familiar burning sensation in your nose. "Jamie, I need you to look at me." 

"Why?" He sniffles, staring at you with his now, bloodshot eyes. "Were you ever going to tell me?" 

"Don't throw that question my way, Tartt." 

"No more, Jam-Jam?" 

"I was going to tell you." 

"What? After the birth?" 

"I'm more tempted to now." You wipe the stray tear that tipped past your eye lid before he could see. "I initially planned on telling you right when you broke up with me but, we see how well that turned out." 

“Wh- is that what you had been trying to do the whole time?” 

You nod and lean forward, drawing him into you; needing to comfort him and be comforted all at once. 

He moves closer to you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your hand against his face; something he hasn’t felt in what feels like, forever. He hadn’t realized you were wiping away his tears. 

“I wanted to figure out the best way to tell you because, I mean we hadn’t exactly talked about us having kids before and I kind of figured that with everything that went on with your dad. I thought it was going to make it hard for you to think that you could be a good dad. Which, I think is stupid.” 

He opens his mouth to ask what you mean until you continue. 

“I mean, how could you not be a good dad because personally I think you’d be absolutely fucking phenomenal.” 

“Yeah?” 

You nod, “big time. You’re already doing better than your dad.” 

“What do you mean?” 

You smile and sniff. “You’re not making any of the stupid decisions he has.” 

“I made one.” 

You tilt your head. “What was that?” 

“I broke up with you. I just-” He pulls back from you (something he does when he feels like he’s undeserving of something). “I thought- I thought you were pulling away to break up with me and you couldn’t figure out how to do it, so I-” 

“So, you thought breaking up with me first, was a better option?” 

He nods, scratching his head. 

“Come closer.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he weakly argues. 

“Come here.” 

He scoots the chair closer. 

“I need you to be honest with me when I ask these questions, okay?” 

He nods. 

You sigh through your nose and reach for his hand. “Is there any part of you that does not want to be a part of either of our lives?” 

“No.” 

“Do you want to be with me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you going to leave any time soon?” 

“The fuck do you take me for? I’m not going to leave you ever,” he stands up and bends down, staring into your eyes before leaning down to kiss you. “Okay? I love you too fucking much to let you go again. I hated being away from you.” 

“Same here but, I’m really happy you’re here… even if it was because I fainted.” 

“Speaking of, why did that happen exactly?” 

“I- well- I hadn’t had anything-” 

“Let’s just cut the bullshit, have you been taking proper care of yourself since we were separated?” 

You shamefully shake your head. 

He doesn’t show his disappointment, but you know it’s there. 

“I’m sorry,” you sniffle. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. Isn’t that- crying is stressful on the baby, ain’t it?” 

“Not so much- I mean, maybe?” 

“Okay, well.” He grabs your hands, bringing your attention to him. “Let’s take a few deep breathes so we can calm down for Baby Tartt.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Do do do doo.” 

“Listen to you. Guess I rubbed off on you, eh?” You roll your eyes, not believing that for a second. “Does any of what you’ve said within the last two minutes sound anything like what your dad could say?” 

“Not in the least bit.” 

“See, exactly. It further proves you’re different and how much you’ve grown from the cocky man who couldn’t care less about anyone else.” 

“Hey. That’s someone we don’t speak of.” 

“Of course,” you salute him. You two can barely keep your amusement to yourselves and break into a fit of smiles and giggles. 

He stares at you, watching as you wipe your cheeks and leans up, kissing your forehead before placing his on top of your head. “I was,” he hesitates to finish his sentence. 

You nod and cup his cheek, letting him know you’re there, a simple gesture to let him know you want to hear what he has to say. 

“-so scared when I saw you lying there unconscious.” 

Your heart drops at the way his voice cracks. “Jaim. Jaim. Look at me.” 

He shakes his head. 

You don’t push any further and instead opt for bringing him closer, letting him rest against your chest, squeezing you in a hug. 

It takes a few minutes before Jamie manages to calm himself down enough to revert back to your adorable boyfriend. “Oh, shit. I didn’t hurt the baby, did I?” He asks, now scared to touch you. 

“No. You didn’t.” 

You hold out your hand for him, “do you trust me?” 

He nods, “’course I do.” 

“Give me your hand.” 

He slowly inches his hand closer and closer to you. 

You huff and reach for him. “Are you ready?” 

He doesn’t move or make a noise as you place his hand over your belly. “Am I supposed to be feeling anything?” 

“Other than knowing the fact you are going to be a father soon enough, no. I’m not that far along for us to feel any kicking.” 

He bends down as a breath of relief escapes him. “Thank god, I thought I was supposed to feel kicking or something and I didn’t, which scared me the hell out of me because I thought he already hated me.” 

“He?” 

“I mean, hello,” he gestures to himself. You roll your eyes and take your hand back from him. “You’re so going to be cursed with girls.” “How can you say that?” 

“Have you met yourself?” 

“I have and we’re actually quite happy together, sorry for the late notice, sweetheart.” 

You close your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. 

Ted peaks his head in through the door. “I see you two have talked things out? Hopefully, if not. No pressure. Well, maybe a little seeing as I have everyone waiting in the hall.” 

“Everyone?” You repeat. 

The coach nods. “Give me second.” He looks back over his shoulder, pretending to count, “one, two, four. Yep, everyone.” 

You place your hand on your forehead. “Suddenly the thought of everyone knowing makes me nauseous.” 

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” 

You turn your head and look at your favorite person ever… for now. 

“If we can get through the team being little shits and the press making unnecessary comments about our relationship, we can get through the team knowing.” 

“We can?” He gives you an affirmative nod, “we can.” 

“We can.” 

“Atta girl.” 

“Alright, guys. They said okay,” Ted waves everyone in. 

“I suddenly realize how many of you there actually are,” you comment. 

Sam, Dani, and Colin chuckled. 

“As captain, I feel like it’s my duty to ask,” Isaac leans closer to you, talking to you in a softer tone than his normal one. “How are you?” 

You smile, “I’m better now.” 

“Good, that’s what we like to hear. Ain’t that right, team?” 

“Yes, coach!” 

“And now I’m scared.” 

“Oh, don’t be scared especially when you’re carrying a special bundle of joy,” the mustached man points out. 

“Oh fuck.” 

“Something the matter, Roy?” Ted asks. 

“Yeah. She’s carrying Tartt’s baby.” 

“I’m pretty sure they covered that topic back in school but continue.” 

“There’s going to be a baby brought into the world soon.” 

“Yeah?” Ted glances over at Beard, who shrugs. 

“With his blood coursing through its veins,” he points to your ex-not-ex-boyfriend. 

It’s quiet for three seconds before everyone groans and rolls their eyes, they think about what it could be like with a baby Jamie. 

“Hey, hey now. Let’s not think about something as crazy as that because this baby is a good thing.” 

“Yeah?” Jamie whispers, glancing back at Ted, not letting go of your hand. 

“Yes, it is,” the coach nods. “You’re going to go through one of the many joys life brings you.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Fatherhood… that, may or may not mix with a lot of uncles and two aunts who decide they want to spend time with the little booger.” 

“Would one of those many figures happen to include you, coach?” 

“No,” Ted shakes his head. 

“Not at all, Beard.” 

The door opens and heads turn. 

“Hi, I’m just here to-” The nurse takes note of the number of people in the room. “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask anyone but the father and mother of the child to leave.” 

“Is it not believable that a woman could have this many boyfriends?” Jan asks. 

“Shut up.” A shoe aimed at his head, hits the wall and lands on the floor with a thud. 

The guys decide it’s time for them to leave, which lets you two see the few things the team has gotten, and it makes you tear up, freaking Jamie out. 

And he doesn’t want to admit it out loud, but it was really nice of them team to do. 

“Should we open some presents?” Ted softly asks, placing one in your lap. 

“Didn’t the nurse just kick you out.” 

“I’m your dad.”

 “We’re your dads,” Beard adds. 

You glance over at Jamie. 

He shrugs, not completely hating the idea of having these two around. “I would’ve liked to know about my new parents beforehand. What’s next? Roy’s my uncle.” 

“No, he’s a granddad more than anything,” Jamie chimes in. 

You wipe your cheeks and smile at him before gently pulling the tissue paper out of your way. You pull out a onesie that looks normal, until you unfold it and inspect it. You sniffle as you hold it up for Jamie to see. 

He doesn’t realize why you’re crying until he reads what the back of it, “Tartt 9”. He doesn’t feel the tears trickling down his cheeks until you wipe his cheeks. 

“Jaim?” 

He shakes his head and pulls you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head, over and over again. 

Ted smiles behind his phone. 

“We should probably give them some time alone.” 

“You think?” He asks. 

Beard nods. 

Ted sighs, “okie dokie.” 

They hold their hands up to wave, only to find your face squished against Jamie’s chest, barely able to wave them off. 

You and Jamie wind up opening every one of the other gifts, enjoying each other’s company after being apart for so long. 

“I think we should name it Jamie.” 

“Baby Tartt is not an it, it’s a baby,” you argue. 

“And we’re not naming them Jamie.” 

“Why not? It’s a good name.” 

“I’m not saying it’s a bad name but, we want our little pumpkin to be able to grow into their own, right?” 

“We-” He sighs, thinking about it, already knowing you were right. “Yeah.” 

“Good.” 

“Was that everything?” 

“I don’t know.” He glances over, finding a bag left on the floor, partially hidden so you couldn’t find it unless you were really looking. He grabs it and sets it in your lap. “What do you think it is?” 

“I don’t know,” you shrug and move it closer for him to open (feeling you’ve done enough of the unveiling with presents). 

He pulls a figure out of the bag. “A bike?” Jamie brows furrows together in confusion until he thinks about it. The light bulb goes off in his head, everything clicking together, and he smiles. 

“Is there a card?” 

“I hope so.” 

Now you’re confused. 

He pulls out what looks like a plain index card. “Free one learn how to ride a bike pass.” He chuckles. 

“I’m lost.” 

“Remember how I told you I had something funny I wanted to tell you a couple months ago, but I couldn’t because the shithead was making me train, even though Ted gave us the night off.” He huffs and sits back in the chair. 

“Okay, I don’t need the background information, just give me the synopsis.” 

“Right,” he straightens his back. “I taught Roy how to ride a bike in memory of his granddad.” 

“You did?” 

“Yeah,” he nods with a smile. 

“And he let you?” 

“Not without trying to hurt me but I did it.” 

“I’m so proud of you.” 

“Yea- really?” 

“Of course, I’m proud of you. You taught the world’s grumpiest man how to ride a bike and lived to tell the tale.” 

“I guess you’re right.” 

“Of course, I’m right.” 

“I hope the baby doesn’t get your cockiness.”

“My cockiness? What about yours?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart.” 

“You lie.” 

He fake gasps and slaps his hand on his chest. “I take offense to that.” 

“I’m not sorry.” 

“You should be. We don’t want this one’s first word to be a lie.”

“It wouldn’t, don’t be mean,” you whine. 

“I’m not. I’m just being me.” 

“Yeah, and that’s mean.” 

He smiles and shakes his head. 

You start folding a few of the blankets the guys got, feeling the need to do something. “Hey, look. They got one with sharks.” 

“We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.” 

“Girls can like boy things too.” 

“Do you really want to be asked if we have a boy or a girl every day.” 

“Don’t be mean.” You smile, holding it close to your chest. “I like it. Baby Tartt, do do doo doo. Baby Tart, do do doo doo.” 

He groans, “please stop.” 

“Never.” 

You stiffle a yawn. 

“Come on,” he takes away the few things on your lap and blanket from your hands. “You need to rest.” 

“But I don’t want to.” 

He smiles at the whining tone in your voice. “I know but it’ll do the two of you well.” 

“Fine,” you tell him with a pout. “But sit by me. I… I’ve missed you.” 

“How can I say no to my girlfriend?” Jamie settles beside you and lets you lay against his chest. 

As you sleep and he’s bored, searching through the hospital’s shitty channels, he stumbles upon something interesting, an old childhood show he used to watch. 

You open your eyes to hear the song you briefly sang earlier. 

“Doo doo. Baby Tartt, do do doo doo.” 

“Jam-Jam?” 

“Hey,” he clears his throat. “How are you feeling?” 

“Better. What were you doing?” 

He shrugs. 

You smile and snuggle back into him. “I won’t tell anyone.”

[achilles-rage]

NSFW Alphabet

word count: 1.6k

a/n: i started writing fics recently because of all of the intricate plots that were bouncing around in my brain and yet here i am now only able to write smut??? i feel like natalie portman in that black swan scene where she's staring at whore written on the mirror like🧍🏼‍♀️Also can we pls talk about his eyes in that gif? he's so pretty goodbye. that’s all i have to say, enjoy<3

warnings: smut (obviously lol), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

MDNI- 18+ Only

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After sex he'll help clean you up, taking a shower with you, if you want. He'll help you wash your body, and lets you do the same to him before curling up with you, your head resting on his chest while his fingers ghost up and down your back.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: He would have to say his hands, but mostly because he knows how much you love them. They're strong and rough, but they can also be gentle when the moment calls for it. He also loves to make you feel good using just his hands, watching intently as your head falls back, whimpering softly.

Yours: I think he's an ass man, but he also loves your neck. He loves how you shiver when he runs his fingers down your neck, or when he wraps his hand around your throat. He also loves the way you tilt your head back as he kisses down your neck to your shoulders and chest.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This man is truly not picky at all about where he cums. Your face, your chest, your belly, your thighs, your back, your ass, inside you? All good to him. He does, however, love seeing the way his cum drips down your face after you use your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would LOVE to fuck you at work, in an empty office, in the bathroom, in the shooting range when everyone goes home for the night. There's a part of him that just loves the idea of someone possibly walking in and seeing you breathless and whining for his cock. It's a secret though because he would never actually do it, not even if he knew no one was there. He thinks too much about the possibility of it going wrong, and he knows he could never live out that fantasy (although it doesn't stop him from thinking about it).

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He has had PLENTY of experience. He's 6'2 and built as hell, you can't tell me he can't get most women he tries to seduce. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's a cocky little shit about it but he's so pretty<3

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I think his favourite position is doggy, loving to see your ass and thighs jiggle as he pounds into you. He has his hands firmly on your hips, taking the chance to spank your ass every now and then. He also loves to put an arm around your waist, pulling you up so your back is against his chest, kissing your neck and shoulders sloppily as he fills you up with his cum.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think he's more serious in the moment, his mind only on the way you look wrapped around him, breathless and panting. He can sometimes be more goofy, but for the most part, he's pretty serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think he keeps it adequately trimmed, the carpet matches the drapes. He doesn't really care in terms of his partner, but he prefers it at least a little trimmed, or bare.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He loves having his hands on you, stroking your face and down your body, holding you close to him, but I don't think he's necessarily super romantic. He does love holding your hands though as he uses his mouth, or when he slides into you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he'll jerk off after a hard day at work, and he can't see you/you aren't in the mood. He's not opposed to it by any means, but if he wasn't in a relationship and he had an exceptionally bad day, he might go to a bar and take someone home instead.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Authority: He LOVES when you call him sergeant, or sir. He likes being in control, and he loves seeing the way you submit to him so easily.

Brat taming: HEAR ME OUT!!! There's just something about the way you argue with him, crossing your arms over your chest and looking up at him like he doesn't have at least a few inches of height on you. He loves shutting you up by pushing you against the closest wall or piece of furniture, making you squirm and whine for him until you can't think of a snarky little remark.

Restraints: This goes a little with the last two, but he loves seeing you tied up, lying helplessly on the bed, unable to do anything but beg him to let you cum. He loves the look in your eyes as you look up at him, pleasure clouding your eyes, knowing you trust him enough to do whatever he wants to you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He loves the bedroom, it being the easiest place to move you however he wants, But if he can't wait, he loves to push you over the back of the couch, quickly stripping your clothes off of your body before he's sinking into you. He especially loves to do this when you're wearing a dress. All he has to do is flip your dress up and pull your panties to the side.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He loves it when you argue with him. Not about serious things, of course, although a few arguments have definitely ended in him pressing you against the nearest wall harshly, hands gripping your plush thighs as he picks you up, kissing your neck roughly. He just loves when you challenge him, loving how he can get you begging very quickly, your attitude flying out the window as he teases your clit.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While he is generally pretty rough, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you too much. Spanking and biting is definitely something he would be okay with, but anything too painful isn't for him. He would also definitely not be into the thought of sharing you. He wants you all to himself.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I don't think he really has a preference, although he doesn't last long when you get on your knees for him. He's quick to grab your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail as he guides your head down, loving the look on your face as you take all of him. While he loves cumming down your throat, he also LOVES to watch his cum drip down your face, as you desperately try to catch your breath.

He loves eating you out, though, especially loving when you ride his face. The first time you were a little hesitant, biting your lip as he guided you up his torso towards his mouth. He reassured you that he was definitely okay with it, quickly pulling you flush against him as you hovered over his face nervously. He loves feeling your soft thighs around his head, how they feel in his hands as he keeps you in place, greedily lapping at your cunt.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Most of the time he's fast and rough, loving how you squirm for him, begging for him to keep going. He loves watching the way your thighs, tummy, and chest jiggle as he fucks you roughly, and loves watching your ass bounce as he takes you from behind. I think he does go slow and sensual sometimes, but you would have to ask for it, or it would have to be for a specific reason (anniversary, one of you had a close call at work, etc).

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He definitely wouldn't turn down a quickie, especially if you were teasing him before you were supposed to go somewhere, but he would prefer to take his time with you. He likes to get you worked up and begging for him before he slides into you, smirking down at you as you look up at him with hooded eyes, breathing heavily.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's fine with taking risks, as long as they're not too crazy. He loves to experiment, of course making sure you talk about it beforehand.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He could last 2-3 rounds, about 10-15 minutes each.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He owns some toys: restraints, blindfolds, gags, vibrators. He mostly uses them on you, but could be persuaded to let you use them on him (you would have to quickly restrain him before doing anything so he can't use his strength to flip the tables though lol)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is a fucking TEASE x10000

He gets off on watching you squirm and beg for him, loving how much power he has over you. It gives him a boost of confidence that you're so desperate for him, and he loves putting you in your place by stopping before you fall over the edge, laughing as you whine and thrash around, begging for more friction.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not afraid to let you know how good you feel wrapped around him, whispering how well you take him, how pretty you look when you're clenching around him and your eyes are rolled back. He'll also let out low grunts and moans as his fucks you from behind, pulling you back to him by your hair to moan in your ear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

This man gets off on using his fingers to make you fall apart. If he has the time, he wants to make you cum on his fingers before he properly fucks you, loving the way you whimper as he curls his fingers, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

7 inches, thick.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It's not on his mind all the time, often having other things to worry about, but when he gets home and sees you, he can't help but think about the way you look breathless and whining under him. He would definitely be okay with having you every day, but sometimes he's too busy and a little sore from work/the gym, in which you're more than happy to get on your knees for him to make him feel better<3

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I think he's pretty quick to fall asleep after, making sure you're okay before he passes out, snores softly escaping his lips.

notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33

click here for my masterlist!

click here to be added to my taglist!

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[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Can we know more about the monkey demoness? Will the chapters be from shadowpeach perspective always or will we see readers or demoness point of view? Does the demoness have a name? How much does the reader know of jttw and general knowlege about the lands ahe is in. Does she speak the language natuarlly or is it a case of magic transelate? If it is magic transelate can she read written words? Will reader win them over slowly or will there be one major action that wins them over? Will the monkey demoness be part of endgame relationship or just a friend? Would demoness try and protect reader from the monkeys when they go full yandere, run away or defer to the monkey king? Am i coreect in assuming its shadowpeach/reader or is it plaltonic yandere? Will reader become besties with the demoness? How did they meet up? Is this before or after jjtw? Or does jttw not happen? Will this be a horror yandere or a romance yandere story? Will reader suffer issues from culture clash? What will your reader be like? Shy? Confident? Will she wipe out from having to walk for 3 days straight or is this something she is used to? How much will reader sacrifice to protect the ‘cubs’? Would reader declare themelves the cubs defacto mum?

If something was answered in previos post sorry mobile wont let me check your blog without loosing all my questions, feel free to answer asmany or as little as u want. Sorry for spelling mistakes, i read your fic repeatedly instead of going to sleep

I found your blog by that story and its a good read, i cant wait for next chapter, in the meantime i will be scrolling backwards theough your blog and read the rest od your stories after i sleep

😳 Wow… I did not expect this big of an ask. For starters I love that you are enthusiastic about the AU, truly I am. It’s just could everyone please stick to 1-3 questions per ask? If you have several questions feel free to send me multiple asks, for now I’ll try to answer as many from this ask as possible. I might answer a few in another post, thank you for your understanding. Now, onto the answers!

- The monkey demoness’s name is Chu Spirit, at first I made her as a simple oc out of the blue! Now I see her as a big sister type of character to Reader, she will not be romantically involved with either Shadowpeach, or The Female Reader. She is energetic and kind not one to back down from a fight. (Will answer how she met Reader in a later post)

- I have a habit of posting perspective a little crazy, so you will get a chance to get Reader’s and Spirit’s perspective! That is almost guaranteed, in fact you’ll probably get more perspectives as well of other characters that will eventually be in the AU.

- So Reader knows about JTTW because she read a bit of it but never finished it. She found the story entertaining but before she could finish it, she kind of… Was pulled to this new world and is trying to find a way home. As for general knowledge? Yeah she has no idea where she is or how to get anywhere, so she kind of doesn’t have any yet.

- Language! I didn’t even think about that! Okay, so I think she’ll magically understand it. Sometimes that magic understanding will flicker though when she’s especially weak so she’ll have to actually learn the language, eventually. As for reading, no she can’t read words until she actually learns the language.

- I think Reader will win over the Warlords slowly and in a few big events yeah. It’s not right away but it doesn’t take too long especially with how much she is taking care of them. They will definitely fall in love with her as they get more and more used to her. As for some big events? Oh I have a few ideas already! You’ll have to wait and see those though. (Cause long ask, not that it’s bad!)

- Spirit will one hundred percent try to protect Reader from Yandere warlords. She sees Reader as a little sister who helped her when she needed it most, she will do anything to keep her safe. If she had known that the monkey cubs that grew so attached to Reader were warlords? She would have totally thrown them off a cliff to keep them away from Reader. No she will not defer to Monkey King or Macaque because she really doesn’t care about them and never has. (Personal past reasons)

- Yes you are correct to assume it’s romantic Shadowpeach x Reader. Nothing platonic about how Macaque and Wukong feel about Reader… There might end up being smut later, but not sure yet.

- Spirit sees Reader as a little sister and likewise eventually Reader will see Spirit as a big sister. They met when Reader saved her from some bandits (more explained later!)

- JTTW! Okay, so this story begins before JTTW. There will be JTTW in this AU and on that topic sort of Reader will be able to get back to her world. Either willingly or not I’m still debating.

- Horror or romance? I’d honestly say it’s a mix of both, because there will be blood and gore. Reader does care about them but they absolutely terrify her when they return to their original forms. And also because Wukong is impatient and doesn’t explain himself very well before trying to take her home.

- Culture clash… I’ll try to add a few scenes of culture clash into the story. Mostly with how she acts around other people because she doesn’t fall into their ‘normal’ Because ya know she’s a 21st century woman. One with a mind that she speaks when she pleases.

- I would say that Reader is more on the shy side when it comes to talking to other people, but when she’s talking to friends she can get rather loud and confident. She just isn’t all that great with strangers. Unless if they are animals that she decides to take care of.

- After her three day walk, so at first I was going to have it where she slept during it. But after this ask I changed my mind. Spirit has no idea about the human system other than they need food. And monkey demons don’t need as much sleep as humans do so she doesn’t realize that Reader is running on fumes at the start of the story. That is until she passes out, dropping like a rock for almost a whole day.

- She will defend them with her life! She loves animals of all kinds. She doesn’t see herself as their mom because I think it’d be weird with the romance and all. But she does see herself as a friend to them. She cares for them and will try to protect them with everything she’s got. Will probably get herself hurt a few times which these bois, do NOT like after they fall in love with her. How dare someone hurt their new mate friend.

Thank you so much for your ask! I just started this Au and if you have more questions then send me an ask! 1-3 per ask would be preferred with no limit to how many asks you send. Feel free to send several! I encourage it! I hope I didn’t miss anything and have a lovely day! (PS. If you want even more in depth answers just ask one or two of these questions back at a time and I’ll have more room to answer them in depth possibly write scenes about them. But I like to answer everything in the ask)

Feel free to send me more asks and I will be happy to answer as I develop this AU more! If you have suggestions also send those too!

[littledovesnow]

pretty

Request: oh hi! i'm so happy to hear that you're writing fluffy fics for coryo! i need more of this kind of content and i just read your fic and i loved it! could i request a peacekeeper!coryo fic where reader is lucy gray's best friend and she has a crush on coriolanus but gets terribly shy around him like she can't look at him in the eyes, he's just too pretty (she's just like me), lucy gray knows this and makes fun of her while trying to get them close to each other. then one day they go to the lake (just like the scene in the movie) and coryo sits by her side and she's like freaking out on the inside and he asks her if he did anything wrong or something bc he already noticed that she goes silent around him and reader starts talking very nervous about it and admits that she finds him very pretty meanwhile coryo just finds everything so extremely cute? the ending is up to u 💓 sorry if this is too long!

a/n: is this good because i don't know how to write a district!reader (don't even get me started on the Appalachia accent i am doing my ancestors DIRTY)

-----

You laughed at Maude Ivory as she flounced in the water, blonde hair sticking to her forehead.

You and the rest of the Covey had decided to spend the day at the lake, wanting to soak in the warm weather as much as you could before heading to the Hob for an evening of singing.

“You gonna sing that new song I’ve heard you working on every night?” Lucy Gray asked, turning her head to look at you, knowing smile on her face.

Flushing red, you shrugged at the brunette. “Not sure. I don’t know if it’s well and finished yet.”

Lucy Gray hummed, turning back to let the sun’s rays hit her face, eyes closed. “Sejanus said he and Coriolanus would be there tonight, and I think the song is wonderful. Wasn’t sure if you wanted to sing it in front of the muse.”

You chuckled, pulling at the grass around you. “And just how do you know who the song’s about?”

It was Lucy Gray’s turn to chuckle, sitting up and focusing her attention on you. “We’ve been best friends for ages, I can tell when you’ve got your eyes on someone.”

“I-”

“Someone who I know has some pretty strong feelings for you, too.”

Shaking your head, your gaze was deadest on the ground beneath you. “Not possible, why would someone like him take any interest in a woman like me? Don’t forget, Lucy Gray, you may have won the Hunger Games, but we’re all still district. I doubt he even sees me as a person.”

Frowning, Lucy Gray chewed on her lip. “Coriolanus doesn’t think like that. Sejanus is from District Two, and he doesn’t think less of him.”

You sighed, knowing Lucy Gray wouldn’t put this to bed unless you relented. “If I sing my little ballad tonight, will you finally stop trying to set us up?”

Lucy Gray agreed, playful smirk on her face. “Only because he’s going to love it.”

-----

Coriolanus dawdled behind his bunkmates, fiddling with his dog tags as a few handfuls of Peacekeepers made their way to the liveliest barn in all of District 12.

He smiled as he heard Maude Ivory take the stage, eyes traveling around the band to see if he could find you.

“Going to finally nerve up and ask her out tonight?” Sejanus asked, settling into the stool next to his friend.

He snapped his head towards the Plinth boy, who wore a lively smile. “What?”

Sejanus nodded his head towards where you were currently talking to Lucy Gray, both wearing colorful skirts. “Lucy Gray, I always see you watching her while she’s singing. It’s obvious, I’ve seen it since you were her Mentor.”

Coriolanus was tempted to correct his friend on the name, having had a talk with Lucy Gray after her victory, both settling on the fact that there were no real romantic feelings, instead the two had agreed to remain friends so long as Coriolanus was in the District.

“Alright, this next one’s a new number!” Lucy Gray commanded the stage like no other, introducing you. “I’ve been listening to this one while it was being written, and I have to say y’all, it’s one of my favorites!”

You took a deep breath, smile on your face as you began to strum the guitar, voice carrying to all corners of the Hob.

Coriolanus was mesmerized, eyes never leaving your figure as you crooned, face heating up as you two made eye contact, frowning as you quickly averted your gaze to another area of the room.

It was a common occurrence whenever you two had met each other’s eyes, you were often quick to look away and rarely look back in his vicinity again.

At first he wondered if his Peacekeeper uniform was the cause of it, but after seeing him in more casual clothing, you still reacted the same when he looked at you.

You finished your song, introducing Barb Azure before disappearing to the small shed that the Covey used a backstage area.

Lucy Gray gave your hand an encouraging squeeze as she passed you, walking over to her former mentor. “How’s Peacekeeping treating you?”

Coriolanus shrugged, not wanting to go into detail about his work. “Mostly just patrol and catching those damn birds.” He was still in a one-sided fight with the mockingjays and jabberjays.

“Well, we’re going to the lake tomorrow. Wanted to see if you and Sejanus would be interested in joining?”

“The lake?” Coriolanus asked, he wasn’t familiar with a lake within District 12’s limits.

Nodding, Lucy Gray looked back as she heard Barb Azure finish her song. “Just outside of the forest, meet at my place tomorrow and we can all go down together.”

Coriolanus mulled the thought over as he was once again left to his own devices, hand going back to fiddling with the dog tag on his neck.

-----

“You what?” You asked, pulling a ratty pair of shorts over the makeshift bathing suit you had on.

“I invited Coriolanus and Sejanus. They’re my friends, thought they deserved a day at the lake, too!” Lucy Gray acted innocent, though there was an evil glint in her eye.

“D’you think they’ll go swimming?” Maude Ivory asked, eyes light with the prospect of swimming.

You ignored the young girl, instead following Lucy Gray out back to gather some berries for a picnic basket. “You didn’t think to run this by everyone? They’re Peacekeepers, Lucy Gray.”

“They’re Peacekeepers because of me.” She replied, voice void of emotion. “And besides, didn’t think you’d be so against wanting to spend the day with Coriolanus.”

You wanted to reply, wanted nothing more than to scream that there was never going to be anything between you and Coriolanus, but you refrained, knowing Lucy Gray did have a point, and the two men did deserve a day away from their co-Peacekeepers.

Finishing gathering things for the basket, you felt your palms grow clammy as you heard the two men clamoring around in the house, along with Maude Ivory’s cheerful explanation about the lake and surrounding meadow.

Looking up when you heard the door close, you were greeted with the Covey, Sejanus­—who had Maude Ivory on his shoulders—and Coriolanus.

“Hi everyone.” You smiled, quickly looking away from the blonde. “To the lake, we go.”

You walked in a peaceful silence behind everyone, halfway distracted with thoughts of swimming and sunbathing, the crisp and warm air perfect. You watched as Lucy Gray walked alongside Coriolanus, the two seemingly teasing each other as they chatted, laughter flowing freely.

-----

Having spent a short while in the water, you were now sitting along the shore, a short way’s away from where Maude Ivory, Lucy Gray, Sejanus, and Tan Amber were finishing off the picnic foods.

You looked up when you felt a pair of eyes on you, blushing when you saw Coriolanus sitting down next to you, keeping a laugh in as his knee popped.

“Thought you’d want to enjoy the water and fresh air.”

“Can I ask you something?” Coriolanus asked, paying no mind to your attempt to dismiss him.

Looking away from, you squinted as the sun reflected off of the water behind him. “Already did.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” You asked, genuinely wondering what he was talking about.

Coriolanus mulled over his words for a moment, not sure how to go about the conversation. “Whenever we’re in the same room, you always come up with some excuse to leave. You never look at me when you’re on stage. Have I done something wrong?”

You felt your heart grow sore at his question, he sounded helpless, hoping you would be able to explain your actions. “I- no, Coriolanus-”

“Coryo, you can call me Coryo if you want.”

Nodding, you looked at the man. “Coryo. You didn’t do anything wrong, no.”

“Then what is it?” He pressed, head tilting.

You sighed, watching a bird dive down and grab a fish out of the water before taking off again. Oh, how you wish you could fly away right now.”

“You’re different.” You said, setting down the flowers you were weaving. “A lot of the guys here look similar. Tired, faces freckled from the sun, hair permanently tinted with the coal. You- you’re pretty. Your skin free from freckles, hair clean and bright. Well, at least it looked clean on the Games.”

Coriolanus, who had a small smile on his face, spoke up once he realized you were done talking. “You think I’m pretty?”

Taking his tone as him joking, you made a move to stand. “I knew it was a mistake telling you.”

“No, no,” Coriolanus took your hand, stopping you from standing. “I didn’t mean it in a negative way. I just, no one’s ever called me pretty before.”

You were unsure of what to say, so you shrugged lightly, chewing on your lip.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty, too. Beautiful, even.” Coriolanus replied, smile on his face growing.

You felt your cheeks heat up. “Don’t let Lucy Gray hear that.”

“Why? She and I both agreed there’s no romance between us.” Coriolanus looked back at the group, seeing Lucy Gray look over at the two of you a few times, stopping to send an encouraging thumbs up.

The two of you laughed at her actions, before Coriolanus turned back to meet your eyes.

This time, you didn’t look away. Instead, you kept his gaze until he broke into a wide smile. “Would it be alright if I take you out tonight?”

“Out where? The Hob?” You joked, the list of possible date locations in District 12 were limited. “But yes, Coryo, you definitely can.”

-----

a/n: will i learn how to end a fic this year? let's wait and see! send requests in!

[guardian-angle22]

Happy to present to y'all this 911LS fic list for stories related to one of my favorite episodes 3.13 Riddle of the Sphynx! I try to make these as comprehensive as possible, so if you have any you think I missed, let me know so I can add them. (I also might make edits to these posts to add more fics as they get written. If I ever do so I'll be sure to reblog the post for visibility!)

Enjoy all of our amazing fandom writers and leave them some comments & love!

[Disclaimers: • If you're an author and don't like to be tagged or linked for any reason, let me know and I'll remove the tag and make sure not to do so in the future, no questions asked. • I usually post TWs in rec lists. Due to the episode subject matter, assume all of these have a TW for discussion of addiction/drug use and possibly discussion of parent death/grief.]

◆ Heard the risk is drowning by @paperstorm (Words: 15.3 K; Rating: M)

A tag for 3x13, "Riddle of the Sphynx", in which Carlos combats his own insecurities as TK tries to heal.

◆ Chasers by @carlos-in-glasses (Words: 13.4K; Rating: E)

After 3x13 – while TK is alone with Cooper, Carlos is alone with his thoughts. Both recall times they’ve chased the next high, other men, or each other. When Carlos arrives home, TK still has something important to say – and it's something he didn’t tell Cooper.

◆ trying my best by @reyescarlos (Words: 10.3K; Rating: M)

An exploration of TK's sobriety journey from 2017 to now. Or, a season 3 coda spanning 3x08-3x13

◆ You Showed me How it feels to Truly be Seen by @ramblingdisaster73 (Words: 3K; Rating: T)

Carlos works through the events of 3x13 "The Riddle of the Sphinx".

◆ Measure of a Man by @chicgeekgirl89 (Words: 1.8K; Rating: T)

“I want to be everything you need. That I can’t be, it hurts, T.K. It feels like a failure on my part. And as much as I’m trying to accept it, it’s hard.” A 3x13 coda in which Carlos struggles with a new definition of being "enough."

◆ I'll be here all the same by @strandnreyes (Words: 4.8K; Rating: G)

“I am glad you have someone you can talk to who can maybe do a better job at fixing things,” Carlos insists before dropping his eyes to their tangled together fingers. “All I want is for you to be okay.”It’s not surprising to hear, but it hits as if it was. That really is the root of this whole thing. As much as Carlos wants to do what he can to be the person to get TK to that place, at the end of the day all he really wants is for TK to get there.“I will be.”Or, three late night conversations following the events of 3.13

◆ Trigger by comes2gusu (Words: 4.7K; Rating: T)

TK is struggling with his newly found sobriety. After being triggered at an NA meeting, Cooper takes TK for omelets

◆ this love we carry by @thevenstar (Words: 7.6K; Rating: T)

A 3x13 coda in which Carlos has a conversation with a friend, puts his heart to rest, and learns that walking away does not mean surrender.

◆ Those Pieces by @taralaurel (Words: 7.3K; Rating: M)

"I, I'm not telling you all - this - so you can fix me," TK huffs a hot breath against Carlos' chin, "or save me or really, do anything, okay?" Carlos nods against TK's forehead. TK has done a lot of things in his life to deserve the bad that has happened to him. He has no idea what good he's done to deserve Carlos. Coda to 3x13

◆ the one i want by @chaotictarlos (Words: 2K; Rating: E)

TK gets Carlos to take his shirt off.

◆ i want you to unravel me by @reyescarlos (Words: 4.2K; Rating: E)

In the aftermath of the strain that's fallen over them, TK and Carlos bridge the gap with open conversation that brings them closer together, both emotionally and physically. [3x13 coda]

◆ Just Wanna Breathe by @theoceanismyinkwell (Words: 1.9K; Rating: G)

Carlos doesn’t dare look at him for long, knowing that his eyes have always been the window to his soul, the weakest part of his body, unveiling everything in the well of truths he’s kept a lid on for years and years. His family may not be able to read him as well as he feared for the decades he was in the closet, but TK has a way of crashing into his life with a formidable gentleness and a piercing understanding that unmoors him in every possible way.And that’s precisely what TK is doing now, keeping the warmth of his palms flush against the beating of Carlos’ skin, cradling his face, forcing them both to gaze into each other’s eyes and face each other’s unspoken terrors without flinching.TK sounds like he has a lump in his throat. “I’m going to say something, and I want you to listen to me and I want you to remember it.”---Or: What happens when Carlos comes back home after TK's talk with Cooper, and the confessions that spill out after.

◆ waiting on the sidelines by @morganaspendragonss (Words: 1.5K; Rating: T)

They’d promised each other no more secrets, and while Carlos rationally knows that these aren’t exactly secrets, there’s still this grain of resentment inside of him that scratches away with every beat of his heart. It’s something he can’t let show in front of TK ever again, which is why he’s here, outside Owen's house while TK and Cooper talk in the loft.If anyone’s going to understand what he’s feeling, it’s Owen Strand.

◆ Three Weeks In by @masterroadtripper (Words: 3K; Rating: T; TW: self-harm)

It’d been three weeks since Sadie had drugged them - nineteen days since TK started a ninety-day NA sobriety program at the local Synagogue and eleven days since Carlos had met Cooper for the first time - before Carlos realized that there was something else TK wasn’t telling him.

◆ What We Need by Ehm (Words: 3.1K; Rating: T)

"You okay, bud?" Cooper startled him out of his thoughts and he let go of the spoon with a clinking noise. He straightened up, embarrassed. "Sorry, I zoned out." "I can see that," Cooper sounded vaguely amused. "You wanna talk about it?" --- Three times TK has a conversation with Cooper, and one time he talks to Carlos. Or, 3x13 and beyond from TK's point of view.

◆ Nocturne by @sanctuaryforalluniverses (Words: 735; Rating: T)

Carlos comes home. (Post-ep for 3x13)

◆ Precious Love by @rmd-writes (Words: 11.6K; Rating: M)

This is five times TK thinks he doesn’t deserve love and one time he knows he does – an exploration of TK’s relationship with love and self-worth.

◆ Inside a snow globe by @goodways (Words: 6.9K; Rating: E)

It isn’t until TK is on top, lavishing Carlos’ neck, stroking his hand up his side, that Carlos brings their faces together, barely a suggestion of a kiss between them. He holds TK’s jaw and keeps him close whilst he readies the question in his mind. He breathes out a straightforward and tempting, “fuck me,” over TK’s lips which silences the world outside their bedroom. TK’s response whenever he’s asked for this has few variations between immediate enthusiastic compliancy and the sweet reassurance he knows Carlos is dying for. The answer is always yes. - The evening after TK gets his one month sobriety chip.

◆ my home has been your heart since the day i met you by @lavendergiroux (Words: 1.8K; Rating: M)

After Carlos leaves Cooper and TK to talk, all they do is talk about him. When Carlos comes home - they are still talking about him.

◆ Deep Talks and Cuddles by raniaswritings (Words: 1.2K; Rating: T)

TK talks to Cooper and Carlos comes back home after a few hours

◆ “What are you doing?” “I don’t want you to do that.” by @irispurpurea (Words: 1.1K; Rating: T)

Fictober 2022 Day 13 and 14. Prompts: “What are you doing?” “I don’t want you to do that.” “What are you doing?” Carlos looks up to find TK frowning at him from their bedroom. “I…” Carlos holds up the blanket in his hands, unsure what else to say. He thinks it’s pretty obvious what he’s doing. Then again, tonight has proven that he can’t do anything right, apparently, when it comes to TK.

◆ "It's your shirt..." by @lavendergiroux (Words: 780; Rating: M)

TK really didn't want to talk about it, he just really needed Carlos to claim him...

◆ sunkissed face by mooshkat (Words: 1K; Rating: T)

To show his appreciation, TK decides to make Carlos breakfast.

Spec Fics Written Prior to the Episode Airing/Canon Convergence:

◆ if the darkness comes, i'll stay by @doublel27 (Words: 3.2K; Rating: T)

“I had some things to do,” TK says, his stomach twisting. “Some things?” “Carlos, I texted,” TK reminds his boyfriend, because he did. “It’s fine.” “Is it?” Carlos asks, his voice dangerously calm. or TK comes home late for the third night in one week, and he and Carlos have a necessary confrontation. A speculative fic for 3x13.

◆ Caught by @littlemissmarianna (Words: 761; Rating: G)

“Who’s that?” Carlos doesn’t answer Mitchell’s question because he doesn’t know. There’s only a handful of people he can identify from the back, and this guy isn’t on the list. He has broad shoulders, though, and nice hair and is probably good-looking. Why else would TK be staring at him so intently?

◆ In Order to Get Back to Us by reyestrand (Words: 2.2K; Rating: G)

Carlos waits up for TK when he’s late coming home and they talk about the things they’re afraid to. - a 3x13 speculation fic

◆ still comparing your past to my future by @kiras-sunshine (Words: 17.4K; Rating: T)

Something else than the wallowing feeling of uneasiness, anxiety and hurt in the bottom of his stomach. All of it seems to have a chokehold on his heart and no matter what he tries to think about, his thoughts always go back to TK, to worry that keeps mixing in with everything, and the brightness of TK’s smile, the way the corner of his mouth curled up and his eyes shone, when he smiled at someone else than him.

[embeanwrites]

Tissues and Lucozade (Jamie Tartt/GN!Reader)

A/N: This is becoming an obsession with Jamie Tartt I fear. Anyway, enjoy your classic Sick Fic with Jamie having doubts about being worth taking care of!

(My time living in Ireland and missing Gatorade came in handy for this fic, the UK version is called Lucozade for my fellow American fans!)

Jamie Tartt was beyond confident on the field. Weaving in and out of opponents, always one of the best players out there, he was a demon on the pitch for crying out loud. He frequently dealt with incredible pressure from fans, coaches, and his other teammates, but today was different.

He wasn’t on the field far from it in fact. And for the first time in a long while, he felt like an absolute baby. As he found himself sprawled on his partner's couch, surrounded by half-used tissues and empty Lucozade bottles. Misery was written all over his face as another cough wrecked his body, he watched his partner make their way towards him from the kitchen, a look of peer concern plastered all over their face.

“Baby, I’m dying.” He whined from his spot, looking up at them. He frustratingly kicked his blanket off his body, constantly fluctuating from feeling like he was freezing to being on fire. He felt pathetic as he watched them get on their knees in front of him to push his hair off his sticky forehead. 

“You’re not dying you have the flu, Jamie.” They said softly placing a kiss on his forehead. “Can you sit up for me?” They asked. Jamie, begrudgingly, agreed as he slowly sat his exhausted body up, leaning back against the couch as his partner sat next to him. 

“I think I am dying.” Jamie moaned, leaning against them.

“Jamie, you’re not dying.” They said as they put an arm around him, pulling him in closer. He took the opportunity to lay his head on their lap and to lay back down. 

“Maybe I am, I feel terrible. My throat and chest hurt, my nose is running, my head feels like it’s been kicked, and I feel so…awful.” 

“Jamie, I love you, but you’re literally just describing the flu.” They responded with a small smile.

“What are you a doctor now? You got a fancy degree behind my back?” He complained, causing them to chuckle. 

“Yes, Jamie. While you were at training, I went to school and got my medical degree, all to tell you that you’re not dying and you just have the simple flu. I’m a little hurt you didn’t notice the white coats in my closet!” Despite how grumpy he felt he found himself smiling up at them. 

“Yeah, alright. Maybe you’re right.” He said, looking up at them. Despite feeling terrible, he couldn’t help but feel so loved. Before them, whenever he got sick he just suffered home alone and tried his best to power through it as quickly as possible. He always felt like he had to be so strong and get back to the pitch as soon as possible, but here he was being forced to feel these terrible things. 

He would’ve never thought to ask a partner to take care of him. Especially with how self-conscious he felt. He was supposed to be strong and charming and a simple sickness had turned him into a needy mess. He didn’t even want to think about how he looked physically, messy hair, clammy skin, the works, but it didn’t seem to matter to his partner. 

However, now there was a warm feeling in his chest (that wasn’t his aching chest) as his partner brought him anything he needed and took care of him. It wasn’t even his idea to spend time here, it was them insisting he come spend time resting and healing at their flat. He’d like to think if he was stronger he would’ve insisted on staying home and toughing it out alone, but in his sickness he was weak and wanted to be taken care of, causing him to go back and forth between enjoying the feelings and spiraling between his neediness. 

“I don’t know how you can do this.” He asked frowning. 

“What? Take care of you?” They asked, a look of confusion on their face.

“Yeah, I mean I know I’m whiny and annoying-” He started. 

“Jamie, you’re sick. You’re allowed to be whiny and annoying when you don’t feel good.” They answered firmly. 

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts, baby. You’re sick and even if you weren’t you’re allowed to need things and you’re allowed to take up space. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I do like taking care of you, Jamie. I want you to feel better and I want to help you in any way I can. Emotional, physical, mental, whatever you need I want to be there for you, just like you are for me. I know if the tables were turned you’d be taking care of me in the same way, so please don’t think for one second you’re being selfish or asking too much because you aren’t okay?” They responded, not necessarily harshly, but their tone was enough to stun Jamie into silence and to leave no more space for argument. Finally relenting, he nodded in agreement.

“Do you need anything right now?” They murmured, one of their hands coming to rest on his placed over his stomach interlacing on top of his, while the other began to run through his hair. 

“No, this is perfect, my love.” He hummed as his eyes began to close and for the first time in days, Jamie got some restful sleep.

[sammy8d257]

A Thursday Afternoon - An AvA/M fic

Written by Sammy8D257

Part of the Watered Down Hot Chocolate: A Melted Marshmallows Side Story But can also be read on its own

Word Count: 755

CW: Parental Arguing

Summary: A Thursday afternoon in the Grove household during the Blackfire Attacks.

(I wrote half of this before AvA 11 came out, then the episode premiered and I went insane and finished it in 3 hours)

[Ao3 Ver.]

=o=

[... -ank you for listening to 96.8 The Point, your one-stop station for everything radio… ] 

Your family's portable radio sits on your kitchen counter. It's light blue in color and its long silver antenna is pointed towards an open window leading to the backyard. 

[... From music to news to weather, we provide it all for your listening pleasure. I'm your host, Turquoise Grandeur, here to talk about the latest Interweb news… ] 

You blink slowly, your eyes slightly burning from how long you've been staring at its dials. The radio is on today. You usually don't mind because the music the station plays is fun to listen to while you do your homework. But today… 

[...Our top story is the recent attacks that have been happening to various websites across the world wide web…]

You stare down at the worksheet in front of you. It's an equations page that your teacher assigned to your class. 

Only half the page is completed and the rest you stare at, your pencil taps lightly on the corner of the page.

[... Most notably, the Yahoo! home page as well as various forums have been targeted, leaving widespread panic and destruction in the aftermath…]

You don't want to do this but you have to. You get to go somewhere fun when it's done.

"-really, Blue? Purple has been looking forward to this all week! We promised we'd take them!"

You sigh. Your parents are in the other room but you can just barely hear them from your seat at the table. The radio isn't loud enough today.

"Orchid you can't be serious. Look at what's going on right now! Do you honestly believe going to a popular and crowded place is what we should be doing? I know you listen to the news just as much as I do!"

"Oh please, I'm not ignorant!"

[... Witnesses have coined the phrase "Blackfire Attacks" for these attacks, citing the heavy presence of fire and black smoke in each case…]

You scratch a doodle of a bird into the bottom right page corner. You wonder if birds sound different at an amusement park.

"With the way you're acting you could have fooled me!"

"Excuse me?! How dare you! I am not going to just stand here and be name-called just because I want to make sure our child can still enjoy life!"

[... The attackers have still yet to be identified but eyewitness testimonies cite glimpses of 2 hollow head stick figures, one black and one bright red, on scene…]

You add a tree for the bird to perch on. You wonder how many fries they steal.

"They can enjoy life when the possibility of all of our lives aren't being threatened!"

"You're unbelievable!"

"I don't even know why you're so mad at me! If anything, I should be mad that you're restricting our training hours!"

[... The motives behind these attacks have not been identified but the safety council advises folks to avoid popular sites ports for the time being… ]

Moments later and your dad storms into the kitchen. He's muttering something you can't make out under his breath. Your mom trails in after him. Her face is furrowed in displeasure, her mouth a hard line. 

You stare at them.

They don't notice you. 

[... If you have any information regarding the Blackfire attacks, please report it to your local-]

Your dad grabs the radio, moves it to the open window sill and exits out the backyard door.

Your mom sighs, turns, and startles when she meets your gaze.

"Little Sprout! Have you been here the whole time?"

You nod and look down at your worksheet.

Your mom says a word you're not allowed to say yet and walks up behind you. 

She gently places her arms around you in a hug.

"I'm sorry Purple, I don't think we'll be able to go to that 'Cool Math Games' amusement park this weekend. It's just… not safe at the moment. But I promise we'll all go together when it's better, alright?"

You feel

mad, hollow, sad, upset, frustrated, 

disappointed.

Your finger traces the bird you drew. Your mom is still waiting for an answer.

"Okay."

She squeezes you again and then backs away further into the kitchen.

Outside a light blue radio is playing, its music barely covering up the sounds of your dad training.

Inside the stove top exhaust fans turn on, your mom starts humming a tune.

Here at the table, you stare down at your equations sheet.

It's only halfway complete.

You'll finish it tomorrow.

[justanoasisimagines]

History

Summary; Being Pirate Jack has heard plenty of stories, most he only paid half attention to. However, when he sees your scars for the first time, he's never paid more attention. Pairing; Captain Jack Sparrow x Female Reader WordCount; 1,395 Requested by; Anon A/N; Requests are open for everything except fics! Credit to cafekitsune for the ban rand the divider!

Jack knew you were something special from the moment he laid eyes on you. The Black Pearl had docked to gather supplies, Jack had been in search of some rum and a place to rest his head.

His boots clinked on the wooden flooring as he pushed open the large doors. Greeted by several familiar faces, he greeted them accordingly. Yet his eyes fluttered to the woman in the corner.

Your crimson red shirt sculpted your body perfectly, Your sleeves pulled up, revealing several intricate bracelets leading down to hands adorned with beautiful multi-gemmed rings. Jack remained frozen in the spot, as he examined you. There weren't many female pirates, many preferred to hide, yet you were bold as brass.

"Oi, who's that?" Jack questioned as he swayed toward the closest table possible.

"That's Captain Y/N, got a bit of a name around these parts. Captain of the Troubled Oak. She's a good Captain, fair, but if ya cross her, she'll cut ya down before ya can blink."

Jack smirked, as he raised himself from his chair, stealing a bottle from a nearby table, a large gulp later, Jack prepared to flatter and win you over. Jack needed to know you, surprised you had not already graced paths.

"Ello love my name's Jack, Captain Jack Sparrow." You glanced up eyes twinkling in the candlelight, mischief written on your smirk. Jack mirrored your expression as he moved to sit across from you.

"I've heard all about you, Captain Sparrow. What is it you want?"

"To get to know you love that's all."

From that moment, Jack appeared to follow you wherever you went. He sailed where you sailed, sought out the same treasure. Although for the first time in Jack's life he wasn't interested in fine jewels and gold coins.

You became the treasure Jack desired the most. Almost as much as he desired to Captain the Black Pearl.

Almost.

"If I didn't know any better I would think you were following me?" You questioned as you jumped down from a nearby rock. Jack smirked as the sand kicked up and landed.

"I wouldn't have to keep following you love if you'd join me." The two of you circled each other, challenging one another to see who would fold first.

"I've told you Jack, I'm not giving up the Troubled Oak. I've worked too hard to get where I am." Jack closed the gap between you, snaking an arm around your waist, and pulling you close.

"Then don't. See I've been thinking, perhaps neither one of us has to give up our beloved ships. We could join forces. Think about it. We'd be unstoppable, you and I."

An eyebrow raised questioning Jack's idea. Was he not remembering the one crucial detail?

"What shall we do? Shout at each other across ships?" Jack brought his mouth millimeters away from your own.

"We flip a coin and take it turns to Captain a ship. See I've thought of everything." With a roll of your eyes, not willing to fuel Jack's ego you were met with a raised eyebrow.

"So what do you say, love? Sail the seven seas beside me?"

You and Jack sailed the seas together as one united source, the stories already began to spread. One day the stories would become legends when no one alive was able to confirm.

If you had questioned Jack, he would tell you he'd never been in love with another person before. He loved rum, treasure and the Black Pearl. There were a few he cared for like Gibbs, Will and Elizabeth. Not that he would ever admit that to them of course, yet he never came to have loved before.

Lust undoubtely. Yet never love.

It changed with you. He hated it whenever you needed to be apart, his heart skipped a beat whenever you approached him. For the first time in Jack's, he desired something more than treasure.

He desired you and your happiness. He craved to see you smile and hear your laughter. Your laughter could brighten up Jack's worst day. Jack would protect you with every ounce of will he held in his body.

The day anyone dared to hurt you, would be the day they signed their death warrant. Make no mistake Jack would not stop until they were dead. He would not make quick.

However, Jack had noticed something about you. Something he believed to be curious and if Jack was being truthful he was a tad suspicious. You never changed in-front of him.

Jack was a patient man. He didn't mind. For the first time in Jack's life he wasn't looking to leave abruptly, but despite what others may believe Jack was no fool. He knew why you were hiding from him.

He'd see the slithers of raised skin on your body. He'd seen the scar tissue. He'd seen it peaking from under your collar. Jack didn't know how long it was, or how much of your torso was covered he scars. But he wanted to know. The pull on his heartstrings knew he needed to know.

There was a list of questions Jack needed answering; who did this two you? How did you get those scars? Where? Most importantly, the names of those who did this to you?

Jack was walking into your chambers as your bareback faced him. Jack froze on the spot your back was littered with raised scars, all varying in shape and length. Some jagged and some clean. Jack's jaw tightened, fists clenched.

It was worse than he ever believed; were their scars elsewhere on your body? Why? How? The questions once again circled his mind like a vulture circling a carcass.

"Jack, I didn't hear you come in?" You rapidly threw on your shirt allowing it to cascade your body.

"You don't need to hide from me love." Jack cautiously stepped into the room. His body moved with the waves rocking under the boat.

"You don't need to hide from me." Jack placed his hands on your shoulders giving them a tentative squeeze. "What happened?"

Jack felt your shoulders deflate as you stared out of a small round window, looking into a past you longed to forget.

"Most of them are old battle scars. I've run into many a pirate. You know how it can be, it's a flip of the coin. If you're chasing the same treasure fights are bound to break out. Those don't bother me." Jack frowned as he turned you around forcing you to look at him for the first time. He couldn't miss the distant look in your eyes. You were somewhere else and Jack desperately wanted you home.

"Which ones bother you Love? Are they why you choose to hide from me?" You maintained looking through Jack rather than at him as vivid memories flashed through your mind. You nodded.

"Several years ago, I got caught. One of my crew ratted us out on the belief of false words. They threw me in a cell. Who knew being locked in a cell would be the least of my problems?" You shook your head as if attempting to rid yourself of a memory.

"The guards decided to make an example out of me. They'd come into my cell and beat me down. At first, it wasn't so bad, I've been in plenty of fights. I can handle myself…but then they grew tired, and started using weapons. Used anything they could get their grabby little hands on." A stray tear ran down your cheek, you immediately moved to rid yourself of it, and Jack beat you to it.

"Smithy saved me…broke me out…still don't know how he did it…owe my life to him." Jack leaned down and pressed his head to yours. Jack took a moment to compose his thoughts. It was unlike him but he saw your pained expression. He knew what they had done had scarred you.

"I don't know much love, but I don't know this. No one's gonna touch you again. Not unless they want to deal with me." Jack pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"Do you know if these men are still alive?" You finally glanced up at Jack meeting his gaze with a single nod.

"We're venture course and head towards them. They're gonna know what happens when you mess with Captain Jack Sparrow's girl."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.

I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.

Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?

Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.

After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?

I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)

I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Should I cut back?

I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.

Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

— Jason

hi Jason,

I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.

I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.

obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.

unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.

also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.

if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.

[illmother]

ೀ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ⎯ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𝖕𝐚𝐫𝐚deisos 𝓼𝗰𝘂𝗺. (Pt. 2)

A/N: i’m guessing u guys rlly RLLY like rahu (same) so i wanted to get this out as soon as possible for you! so sorry if this looks a bit rushed (also yes the cum part in bold letters in the title is on purpose LOL)

also my fault for disappearing for a week 😞 i am back now tho i promise! wanted to get smth out before it hit the 10 day mark so i’ll fix some things up when i wake up. wanted to make this a bit more spicy but i lost inspiration for this fic unfortunately 🙏 (maybe next time!)

⏜ ₊ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ݁ Rahu x Paradeisos!Doctor!Reader

cw: suggestive! enemies to fuckers (?), degradation (dirty mutt), slight choking, hair pulling, reader got smacked to next tuesday, reader being a bitch

“Stop moving around, you’re going to make your injuries worse.” You said with a snicker, hovering over the sinner, your knees on either side of her torso. Rahu groaned in irritation, large, scarred hands planted firmly on your waist, the side of her face—well, mask resting gently against your chest. Your white coat discarded somewhere, alongside your skirt, leaving you in only your shirt, and undergarments. “Damn you. You’re a spy, aren’t you?” She sneered, narrowing her silver eyes at you.

“Oh my, such bold accusations.” You smirked, smug, and cocky, all the while staring down at the sight before you. The usually stoic, Rahu reduced to nothing more than a flustered mess, your lipstick marks stamped across the skin of her neck, down to her collarbone and chest. “Don’t think i can’t see the way you keep gawking at me.” You started, and Rahu’s grip on your waist tightened, you felt every single twitch, and movement of her fingers. “But for the longest time, i’ve wondered what was going through your head when you look at me. Was it hatred, anger, disgust?” You slowly leaned forward, coming face to face with the sinner, trailing a finger down her chest, down her torso, all the way until you reached her bandaged abdomen, before pressing down lightly but firmly, earning a low hiss from the sinner.

“But now i know…all along, it was lust.” You let out an airy laugh, to which Rahu glared daggers at you, the feeling of your finger trailing down her body sent multiple shivers down her spine. “You just love running your mouth, don’t you?” Rahu sneered, hate and desire burning up inside her, deep in her core. Your expression twisted into one of mock disappointment, your eyes narrowed at her, yet the shit eating grin on your face gave away the amusement you felt. Rahu flinched slightly when she felt your hand running through her hair, gaze locked on her eyes, and her awfully cute sharp glare. “Dirty mutt.” You scoffed, before grabbing a fistful of her hair and yanking her head back, which earned a sharp gasp from her. “Didn’t your last owner train you better? guess not. No worries, i can always straighten you out—”

Your sentence was cut short by a stinging sensation , followed by silence, a deathly silence, only being broken by a sharp hiss. “Don’t you dare mention her. Not with your filthy mouth.” The hand that left your waist and struck you, now has a firm, almost painful grip on your wrist. When you finally recovered from the strike, whipping your head back to stare at her, piercing silver eyes glaring back, the same ferocity, and hostility as when you first met her in that glare. Your grip on her hair tightened, and a mocking laugh left your throat. “You actually have the nerve to hit someone from Paradeisos?” You hummed, amusement written all over your features, you couldn’t help another small laugh as you let go of her hair, instead bringing your hand over to wrap around the pale column of her neck, much to her dismay, before pushing her down on the hospital bed by the throat, with enough force to make the sinner let out a choked grunt as her body hit the mattress beneath.

Rahu’s whole body tensed, including her ever tightening grip on your waist and wrist, before she managed to straighten her expression. “My apologies, it was a nervous reflex.” She said sarcastically, to your amusement, but that soon turned to surprise as you felt her hand that was rested so firmly on your waist moving to slip up your shirt. “Hm, you seem quite eager, despite the fact you seemed very upset a moment ago.” You teased, making a mental note not to bring up her previous commander again in the near future, before your grip on her neck tightened, just the tiniest bit. Rahu ignored your comment, focusing on feeling the soft skin underneath her calloused, and scarred hand. The sinner’s hand would eventually brush her hand underneath your bra and knead the tender flesh, causing you to inhale a sharp breath. “You’ve been waiting for this, weren’t you?” You laughed, mocking, despite the growing heat in your core.

Rahu groaned through her mask, deep and husky. “You talk too much in all honesty.” She commented, to which you wanted to snap back with a witty comeback, but the feeling of her fingers brushing against your erected nipple made you clam up. “Let me have you.” She whispered, causing heat to raise to your cheeks, she smirked at this, hidden under her oni mask, seeing your reaction only urged her further, only filled her desire to see what other expressions you’d make. Your breathing became labored, heavy shaky as you answered her, finally putting an end to this tension, finally giving in to your desires. “Haa—fine.”

[estro-gem]

Jax x Ragatha: What lurks beneath the surface

The Amazing Digital Circus AU: Oasis

Author's Note:

It's done😭 Finally...

This is the longest Oasis fic I've written and I pray that my English was good enough to NOT have as many mistakes that would distract you from the story I am trying to tell. We'll hope for the best.

Thankfully, I finished it and I'm happy with it - as spicy as it turned out and all. I could finally showcase Jax and Ragatha by allowing them a chance to share another side to both of them - Especially Ragatha! It was so much fun to lean into her character (in the Oasis canon, at least).

Warnings: Suggestive themes and flirting Hypomania/manic episodes Animal instincts/ferocity

I hope you like this one. Please enjoy!

SUMMARY:

Ragatha gifts Jax a plush that she promised to make for him. He enjoys the comfort that it brought him as well as the sentiment behind the gesture, until Ragatha reveals that the dress of the plush can be removed for him to discover a secret she added for him to find. He is plagued by strange possibilities to his dolly’s reasoning behind the design choice. He struggles to muster the courage to remove the dress – or even see reason to do so, other than quenching the thirst of his curiosity.

It’s just a doll, isn’t it?

WHAT LURKS BENEATH THE SURFACE.

“To what do I owe this pleasure, Sweetheart?”

Jax didn’t expect Ragatha to come knocking at his door. It had been a long day with a very tiring adventure from Caine. Everyone had already retired to their rooms after they’ve enjoyed a feast together. The bunny was one of the last members to leave and he had been decompressing in his room for no more than an hour, until he was – as he considered – rudely disturbed.

Seeing Ragatha, however, made him curious enough to be more forgiving. She wasn’t one to knock at such a late hour… unless she had something to hide and oh, Jax loved a good secret!

Especially ones he could exploit in the future.

So Jax rested his forearm at the level of his eyes to lean against the doorframe as his free hand pushed the door open wider than before. Instead of answering, Ragatha walked up to him, keeping her eye locked with his as she invaded his personal space. Just as Jax had a flicker of uncertainty that she was getting too close, the doll smoothly strode right passed him without even touching or brushing against him. She broke eye contact at the last second and entered his room, while he was struck frozen by surprise.

Cheeky little-

“You’ve got some nerve, Dollface.” He said, masking his flustered state with a smug grin and a raised eyebrow, “I don’t remember ever saying that you are welcome to come inside.”

He turned around to find his doll smiling as if she was the cat that stole the cream. He took a moment to just silently appreciate her showing him this different side to her, as it was a side that she reserved for very rare, specific and special occasions.

Confident, sassy and letting her actions do the talking.

Dangerously silent.

Delicious.

“Are we playing games, Darling?” Jax shut the door behind him, not once looking away from her smug grin that perfectly matched his, before slowly sauntering towards her, “We can play anything you like…”

Rather than to humor him and say something snarky for him to play of off, his dolly knelt and proceeded to grab at her dress skirt to bunch it up on her lap.

“Woah, WOAH, Sweets! Calm down!” Jax eyes went wide, dropping his façade completely at the sight of Ragatha intending to lift her skirts. With his character completely broken, his ears pulled back and he averted the gaze of his shrunken pupils as a very prominent blush bloomed onto his cheeks.

“Would you relax?” Ragatha chided with a bubbly laugh, “…and shame on you for having your mind in the gutter!”

Jax almost scoffed in disbelief, but didn’t dare to look her way, uncomfortably shifting on his feet, “Ya waltz in here, makin’ eyes at me! Next thing ya know, ya here on my floor and pullin’ up you dress! Whaddaya think, I’m gonna assume ya wanna play cards or somethin’? Geez, Raggs!”

His heart soared at the sound of Ragatha’s laughter intensifying as he rambled on. He had the sneaking suspicion that she really liked his dialect when he was riled up. He tried to put a damper on it whenever he could, but sometimes he just couldn’t stop himself – especially when he was caught off guard.

If it meant that he could have his doll laughing as much as she had, he didn’t mind it too much.

“Oh, Jax…” she sighed, followed by more chuckles as she laughed, “I hid something under my skirt. Don’t worry!”

“Yeah, I’d like ta think that we all hide somethin’ in our pants, Dolly.” Jax quipped without missing a beat.

“I tie a string of wool around my waist and then I tie that to a bag that dangles at my knees, Honey.” Ragatha dismissed with an airy laugh.

The doll fumbled with a large, brown paper bag she had to waddle down the hall. When she managed to untie the top, she opened the bag to reveal a box wrapped with a disheveled red bow. It was a wonder that she managed to walk so naturally with it knocking against her legs, but years of practice taught her well.

She noticed Jax tapping his foot impatiently, still not looking at her, making her smile to herself. It didn’t matter how much he tried to hide it; he was still a good man at heart.

It was a shame that he had to do the wrong things for the right reasons.

“I’m decent for show, Honey. I always was… just so you know.” She said while standing up to present the box. She remembered what he previously said and sought the opportunity to milk her teasing just a little longer, “What are you hiding in your pants, Jax?”

“Hey, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Jax mused suggestively as he peeked with a glance from the side when he was cleared by Ragatha to do so.

The doll gasped dramatically, “And here I thought you were a gentleman!”

“Ugh, please!” Jax approached his doll before resting a hand on his hip, “I’ll have ya know that ‘Chivalry’ is my middle name.”

“If that’s the case, we’re all doomed.”

The brief silence was eventually broken by the sounds of the couple barely containing their snorts, until they burst into fits of laughter. It was so hysterical, that Ragatha almost dropped the box, causing her to juggle and fumble with it in the air; eye wide until she caught it with a firm grip. Jax practically died at the sight, pointing and laughing with new vigor. The doll helplessly chose to laugh at her own clumsiness.

Finally, when the laughter died down, Jax looked at Ragatha and saw her face glowing the glee. In another life, he would have loved to make her laugh whenever possible. He would be her safe space that would never have to lay a hand on her, unless he wanted to see her smile, laugh, gasp or sigh in joy and pleasure.

But here, he was chained to the slavery of hurting everyone out of obligation.

Stop thinking about that!

“That’s a good look on you, Raggs.” Jax commented right after she chose to break eye contact to look down to the wrapped box she was still holding.

“You don’t look too shabby either.” She held out the box for him to take, but he just idly stood to look at it; hesitantly. He was a lot more expressive when they were alone.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

The doll just shook her head with a little huff, “You made me laugh.” She blushed, looking away, but fiddled with the ribbon wrapped around the box, “You make me laugh... and you never ask me for anything! I love that I could give you something you actually wanted for once.”

His dolly grew bold enough to look up to him, despite her little rosy blush. He focused on keeping his face neutral, despite feeling conflicted about accepting a genuine gift. Ragatha didn’t stop insisting for him to take it, “Please… just look at it? You can do whatever you want with it afterwards, but just take one look. Please?”

“Don’t beg, darlin’.” Jax suddenly said, as if a switch was flipped, as his aura shifted to take on a darker tone, “It’s unbecoming.”

Please beg for me to take you instead…

Silencing the confusing thoughts that clouded his mind, he stepped forward and held out his hands, only for Ragatha to step forward and lightly push the box against his chest. He took the sides of the present and met Ragatha’s eye. She was fixated on his gaze as she trailed her hand down her side on the box, before slowly turning around and walking to the door.

That doll would be the death of him.

“Where’d ya think you’re goin’, Sweetheart?” He asked coolly, making no move to trail behind her – even as she opened his door.

Just before closing the door behind her, she looked back one last time. The ragdoll sported that confident, cheeky grin again and Jax suddenly wanted nothing more than to make her melt.

“I’m giving you some privacy.” Ragatha gifted him one last sweet smile and closed the door as she left, not giving him a chance to answer, “Goodnight Honey.”

Silence.

Anticipation.

Curiosity.

Jax decided to sit on his bed before untying the ribbon. A small part of his mind giggled at the fact that Ragatha could walk with such a bulky object knocking against her knees. Another silent thought whispered into his mind, feeding his curiosity regarding all the things his doll managed to sneak around by hiding it beneath her skirt.

Her waters ran deeper than he thought – not that he was complaining.

Wasting no time, the bunny plucked the lid off the box, but froze on the spot at the sight of a familiar face that greeted him. The lid fell from his grasp.

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest.

About the length of his forearm, a little, redheaded ragdoll in a blue dress was staring up at him. Other than the fact that the little doll was plusher, it was the spitting image of Ragatha. It had the same red locks, the same blue dress with the darker patches and the same face of his doll – embroidered to capture to picture of her face exactly – save for the blue button stitched to represent her missing right eye, just as there was one in reality.

It was perfect.

His mind flashed back to an encounter he shared with Ragatha a few weeks ago. Them, sitting on the lone couch, with him just enjoying the sight of his dolly so focused on her very… flattering… project. How tempted he was to mess with her, but his attention was held captive by the precision, skill and progress she was making.

Maybe he was vexed by the doll’s sentiment to even think of making something that resembled him.

A monster.

The rabbit took the plush doll in his hands and admired it once again, before slowly drawing it to his chest and wrapping his arms around it in a soft embrace. It wasn’t his intention, but Ragatha’s scent invaded his senses, causing his hold on the doll to tighten.

It was not sentient or breathing, with skin or senses. It was lifeless and thoughtless, with no intention of ever reaching out to him. It just existed – made for the times he sought comfort whenever he wanted. It could provide a comfort he was cursed to loathe when receiving it from others who actually cared for him.

What a wonderful gift his precious little dolly had given him.

That night, he collapsed onto his bed, cradling the plush closely as he became intoxicated by his angel’s scent. He had no nightmares or worries that withheld him from sleep. He simply existed in the presence of something that his beloved had made for him.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so loved.

He couldn’t remember the last time he overslept.

Jax overslept.

“Jax?” a worried voice cried out from the other side of his door, along with insistent banging that caused him to fly straight up. “Are you okay?! Jax?”

He stumbled to the door and fumbled to unlock it, as she wouldn’t be able to hear him from the inside. He didn’t have the time to pull the door open, as a great force crashed the door right into him and caused him to be launched back with a yelp. The pain to his face caused his vision to blur, but he could clearly see the shape of his ragdolly hunched over and panting in his doorway.

“Ow! Talk about a wake-up call.” Jax said as he was blinking to clear his vision.

“Jax…” her voice drew his attention in an instant. He didn’t like it one bit. She sounded terrified.

She sounded relieved.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” he cooed as he stood up and the sting subsided, “I’m right here.”

“Jax.” Ragatha said again, seemingly stuck on his name, “You…”

She stood frozen, blinking multiple times before she shook her head and perked up uncomfortably fast, “You’re late, silly!”

“Raggs…?” Jax spoke carefully and approached her, as if she was a startled animal, “Don’t do that with me.”

Her unsettling smile remained stuck on her face as she looked over his form for any obvious injuries, “Heh, sorry about bumping into you earlier! It’s not common that you sleep in! Why were you-”

Silence.

So intense, that not even an explosion would muffle it.

Her smile was dropped as her eyes suddenly widened. Jax, startled by the sharp continuous shifts in Ragatha’s expression, followed her line of sight to see what caused her sudden reaction. He followed it slowly, until he was met with the little ragdoll plush that was still miraculously clutched tightly in his hand. He stood there like a frightened toddler, holding his favourite toy, but he didn’t feel ashamed about it.

There wasn’t time that; his dolly needed help.

“I… had a great cuddle-buddy.” He started slowly, watching her reactions very closely as he stood closer, “I didn’t want our snuggle-session to end so soon, so I laid here for a little longer.”

He was jesting, but it was gentle and benign. The rabbit could still help her choose to drop her guard if he played his cards right. He just knew he could.

“You like her…” she said in a foreign monotone, “You slept with her…”

“Like a baby.” He chuckled briefly, before unveiling his true emotions by holding the doll up to look at it dearly, “She’s perfect.”

The rabbit allowed his eyes to flick back up to Ragatha, then repeating what he had said, hoping that his dolly would understand, “Perfect.”

Ragatha slowly treaded her way back to reality, helplessly succumbing to the little, somber smile that crept up the corners of her mouth, “I’m glad you like her.”

“Heh,” Jax genuinely huffed, “Only you would think that someone calling someone else ‘perfect’ only means that they kinda like them.”

Huh…

Ragatha meant to question him on what he said, but Kinger screaming about the practicality of duffle-bags distracted the couple beyond recovery.

Before leaving to join the others, Jax made a quick stop to his bed, to rest the plush against his pillow, “Can’t risk her getting ruined in an adventure. We still got plans for tonight!”

“Oh really?” Ragatha mused, though she seemed tamer than she was with her previous fake optimism.

“Oh yeah. No going back now!” Jax said, nudging the ragdoll with his elbow as they walked down the hall.

“I was going to ask if I was invited, but I wouldn’t want to keep you two from doing whatever it is that couples do when they are alone in bed.”

“Aw, there she is! Welcome back Raggs!” Jax laughed, causing the doll to chuckle along with him. He looked over to her with a little hint of seriousness, “But seriously though, we are keeping it clean, Dollface. I mean, it’s a doll.”

Ragatha stopped, alarming Jax to do the same, ready to pull back his statement in case he went too far with his jokes.

Ragatha beat him to it, “Wait, you didn’t take off the dress? Didn’t you notice that it could be removed?”

Jax didn’t know how to react to that.

On the one hand, she could be joking – in a way that he, in turn, would consider as ‘too far.’ On the other hand, she could be serious, opening an entirely different can of worms. Based on her shocked expression at the fact that he didn’t undress a plush, he could only believe that the latter was true.

It horrified him with its implications.

“Ragatha.” Jax said, not missing the way she twitched at the use of her full name, “Why would you expect me to undress a plush?”

Ragatha fumbled to answer, but her face lit up like a Christmas tree, “Don’t put it like that!”

“How else do you want me to put it?” Jax asked, bewildered, lowering his voice down to a hissed whisper, “Why would I need ta undress ya? Is it because ya think that’s what I want? Is that how little ya think of me?”

“Jax, stop.” Ragatha said sternly. He reluctantly obeyed for her to speak, “It’s nothing of the sort, it’s something else. I added a hidden… feature… with the hope that you’d find it on your own.”

“It still sounds weird, Raggs.”

“It’s not, I swear!” Ragatha exclaimed, “I thought you’d know that ragdolls often have their bodies be a different colour fabric; to represent the bodice of the dress, instead of making an entirely separate dress, like I did. I also thought that it would’ve been enough of a clue to look beneath the fabric since I showed you how I hide things beneath my skirt. There’s nothing funny about it!

Jax still looked skeptical, but seeing his dolly that upset, softened his heart a little more than he wanted to admit.

Ragatha pleaded one last time, hoping to have justified herself enough, “I just thought that it would be a special little secret for you to find.”

Jax sighed, but relented eventually, “Fine, but I’m not happy about this.”

“Just trust me on this!” Ragatha insisted gently, “So you’re going to look, right?”

“I’d rather you just tell me and be done with it.” Jax huff, folding his arms and turning away from her. He heatedly glared over his shoulder to flick his eye from her feet to her face, “You know I don’t only want you for those types of reasons, right?”

Ragatha wanted to protest her stance on being innocent with her intentions, but his words caused her heart to melt. She cleared her throat, choosing not to say anything to humor his last question, “If you want to know, you’ll just have to see for yourself, Honey. It’s already a shame that I ruined my plans for you to find it by your own accord.”

“Come on, Doll!” Jax whined, thankfully moving passed the other matter, “I’m dying here! I can’t wait until tonight – I don’t even know if I wanna do what needs to be done to even find out. I don’t care how innocent ya think it is, IT’S WEIRD!”

“Then suffer.” Ragatha shrugged as they finally joined the rest on the crew, leaving Jax perplexed.

That woman…

It appeared that it was going to be a long day for Jax.

It was a long day for Jax.

The curiosity was nipping at the edges of his mind throughout the day. The bunny hardly focused throughout the adventure – not even his disregard for Pomni could distract him. It didn’t help that Ragatha wasn’t making things easier for him, as she would knowingly smirk at him when he dared to glance at her. Occasionally, the doll would giggle to herself, only riling him up more.

What additionally tore Jax apart, was that he didn’t know how to feel about stripping the plush from its dignity by undressing it. It was a doll, sure, but it was a doll that looked like Ragatha, it felt perverted and indecent.

When the long day came to an end, Jax fought between sprinting to his room as fast as his legs could carry him, versus stalling to avoid having the plush taunt him with it’s secrets altogether. It became an odd mixture of the two, where Jax tried to cut any conversations short that stalled him from progressing down the hall, but taking the time to stop and talk to whomever was willing to keep him from reaching his room to soon.

His odd mannerisms caused suspicion to arise among the group, especially Gangle, who always seemed to catch on.

Those cursed observation skills…

 Finally, the rabbit entered his room and locked the door behind him. Just to be safe.

The doll was just laying there as it almost expectantly stared at him. It was mocking him; he just knew it! The bunny hated to admit that his mouth was suddenly feeling dry at the thought of even just touching it. He glared at it, silently cursing Ragatha for thinking that the whole situation was a good idea.

Because it wasn’t.

He took a breath and willed himself to march to his bedside, sit down and firmly hold the doll in his lap. It smiled with glee, and he scrunched up his nose while averting his gaze to gather his courage. It all felt wrong on so many levels! He really hated how curious he was to know what hidden gem his dolly had waiting for him. Yes, he was nervous, but…

He trusted Ragatha.

Jax was just going to be a man and push through his hesitation, he thought to himself. The doll felt like it was burning through his gloves, but he still preferred that above anyone else touching him. Jax looked down to his yellow gloves; and an idea slowly crept from the depths of his mind. With mild distaste, the rabbit flexed his fingers to summon his terrible claws, that pierced though the yellow fabric as a hot knife would cut into butter.

Jax’s ability to feel, was muddled through his claws, since they were not equipped with the sensory ability to perceive touch as well as his fingertips were. He could only feel the dull pressure sinking down onto his fingertips whenever he used them – willingly or unwillingly. He felt a little less guilty while implementing his idea as his very gently used the very points of the ebony tips to hold and maneuver the plush.

The bunny noticed a three little buttons on the back of the doll’s dress. He gently pinched at the blue dress’s fabric and lightly tugged at it, only confirming that the dress was able to be removed. He struggled to maneuver his claws in attempt to open the back of the dress without ripping the fabric, but he managed.

Agonizingly slow…

Finally, the buttons were loose. All that was left to do, was to pull the entire dress over the doll’s head. He still felt uncomfortable just… stripping the doll like a perverted freak, so he did the only other thing he could think of.

Pinch his eyes shut.

Blinded and with a heavy sigh, the rabbit struggled to fully remove the dress from the doll, while still being mindful of his sharp claws. It was a pain – the whole process became so frustrating that he just thought about giving up and saving the private adventure for another day.

But somehow, the plush was finally freed from her blue coverage and Jax just sat in silence, wondering for one last time whether it was the right decision to indulge in Ragatha’s twisted game.

Damn it…

It’s just a doll.

As curiosity won the dispute against shame, Jax hesitantly opened his eyes that were previously pinched shut. Slowly, as light broke passed his eyelids, the blurry vision of the mostly milky fabric that represented the doll’s skin, focused into a clear image of the doll’s bare torso as it’s little face patiently smiled up at him.

All thoughts left Jax’s mind as soon as he comprehended the sight the rested within his grasp. It stole the air from his lungs that grew still as he stopped breathing entirely. A wave of emotion washed over him, but he stood firm and frozen with the overwhelming shock that struck his mind – his soul – to a state of all-consuming numbness.

His hands started trembling, but the man remained silent.

On the chest of the ragdoll-plush, the pale fabric was harshly interrupted by the image of a small, purple heart in the very center. It was neatly threaded to the doll’s chest, in such a way that the stitch pattern of the thread wasn’t obvious to the eye. The only way that Jax could tell that the heart was indeed threaded to the doll and not just a part of the fabric’s print, was the very neat seam that revealed small purple stitches when the fabrics was pulled into the opposite directions.

Jax didn’t know much about needlework, but there was no doubt in his mind that the heart wasn’t just a patch that was stitched atop the pale torso. No. The purple heart was very much a part of the fabric that kept the stuffing from spilling out.

Without the heart, there would be a hole that would expose the plush’s inner content.

Without the purple heart, the stuffing would spill out from the doll, and it would be nothing but an empty, fabric shell.

The purple heart was a part of the doll.

When his vision became blurry, the bunny was suddenly taken aback by his uncontrolled breathing as well as the tears crawling down his cheeks. He hugged the undressed doll against his heart without a care in the world. All that mattered was him holding his dolly with a heart adorned with his colour. Falling to his knees, Jax mind was consumed by thoughts of Ragatha and her precious gift to him. The rabbit compulsively rubbed his neck and chin over the doll’s red locks, only stopping to nuzzle into the ragdoll’s chest.

A possessive blade struck into his cold, dead heart. Jax no longer had tears that spilled form his golden orbs. His dolly dried them, as she often did – because she was his. Only his.

His, as she always was and always will be.

And in kind, he was hers.

Only Ragatha could bring him to his knees like this. He’d kneel to only her, as if she was his queen. He knew, in that instance, that it would only be a matter of moments before she would kneel before him – to join him at his level as his equal.

Then, Jax would not rest until the entire universe was brought down beneath her. He’d destroy whatever it takes, he’d break whatever he saw fit, and he would crush and torture every soul that would ever dare to hurt her.

Because only he could hurt her – Jax would make sure of it.

No one else would do it right.

No one else would take care NOT to break her as he always made sure to do.

No one else would read her as he did.

No one else would care for her needs as he did.

No one else would do anything to her, because he would never allow them to.

Not only because he was the snake, but because he was HER MONSTER.

He was hers.

And at that moment, her monster craved to drown within her.

Jax held the plush back to admire it once again. It was hers, but it wasn’t her. He wanted her and he wanted her now.

NOW.

In a flash, Jax was moving.

He didn’t know how he made it through his locked door to mindlessly claw at Ragatha’s, like a dog, but he ended up doing just that. Jax was too far gone to even think about the keys he left in his door before sprinting down the hall. No words left his lips – only little desperate grunts escaped him as his claws sprouted fine wooden spirals from his dolly’s door. It was inhuman to say the least.

And that’s why Gangle lunged at him without a second thought.

 She happened to be in the hall to witness his descent into his animalistic nature. Shivers crawled up her ribbonoid form at the beastly sight of Jax’s blown pupils and ungraceful, jagged movements. He didn’t even acknowledge that she was there, so it became clear that Jax was experiencing one of his occasional manic episodes.

It didn’t happen all that often, but based on her experience, Gangle could tell that she would not be able to get through to him with mere words.

Her ribbons served her well as powerful restraints. Since she had the element of surprise on her side, Gangle was able to wrap herself swiftly and strategically around each of Jax’s wrists, as well as bind his powerful legs together, causing him to fall face first into the door, then onto the floor.

The rabbit, caught off guard, thrashed and screamed in a manner that no human ever could. He managed to slice one of her ribbons down the long length, only to have the 3 finer streaks of ribbon become their own independent tendrils that reenforced the grip Gangle had on Jax. It hurt, but there was very little that Jax could do to make Gangle stop.

It wasn’t the first time she had to restrain him, after all.

“What’s going on out there?!” rang Ragatha’s alarmed voice from the other side of the door as it creaked open by a mere slit for her voice to rush through.

“Stay put and lock the door.” Gangle ordered, her softer voice firm as a blade that sliced through any question to oppose her order. She constricted her grasp around Jax’s neck to manually muffle his senseless howls of protest and discomfort. Gangle also took note of how his pupils dilated impossibly wide at the sound of Ragatha’s voice. He fought with a greater vigor and tried to reach out to the door.

It, then, became clear to Gangle, that the bunny didn’t act out in anger, but in what appear to be a type of desire that he very rarely expressed.

“Gangle? What’s happening-?”

“Be quiet.” Gangle spat out as Jax only ceaselessly continued to struggle against her. His aggressive thrashing became desperate and distressed. The door shut after a few seconds of hesitance on Ragatha’s part. The doll knew her place.

There was nothing she could do now.

“You’ll scare her like this, Bunny.” The ribbonoid hissed into the wild rabbit’s ears, causing him to tense up and shiver. Despite Jax’s immeasurably greater tolerance for the ribbonoid’s touch, he still had his limits – limits that only Gangle had managed to push as far as he was willing to allow. Boundaries were thrown out the window a long time ago, for they both no longer regarded each other’s boundaries. They had no choice, as it was within their roles and owl and snake.

Boundaries were crossed too long ago for either of them to care.

“Mine.” Jax forced out as soon as Gangle remembered to loosen the grip she had enforced around his neck. He turned his face to look at the mask of the sentient ribbon, eyes filled with desperation, “Mine.”

“I know, Bunny. I know.” She almost cooed when she felt him burst into untamable trembling, clearly stumbling his way back to reality, “But there’s a better way to go about this. You need to control yourself.”

Jax could only blink a few times, trying to ground himself. He stopped to look down with a defeated sigh and leaned his head down to ungraciously plop his forehead against the forehead of the theatrical mask. She welcomed his gesture, by leaning back into him and closing her eyes.

They savoured the moment as the world grew quiet, sharing breaths to calm themselves.

Jax remained as he was as Gangle slowly opened her eyes again, not willing to risk being unaware for too long. Her dear friend looked worse for wear, but much better in comparison to a few minutes ago. If it wasn’t for a distant movement that caught the ribbon’s attention, the newfound peace would have led the pair to Gangle’s room in a gentler manner…

But the sight of a little jester who stood a while’s way across the hall, caused the girl to rip her ribbons from Jax - bristling up like a threatened raptor. The ribbons danced and scurried high above her head in an impressive display, causing sounds of fabric slithering and fluttering to pierce the silence. Pomni jolted at the sight of the previously meek and timid character being so intentionally disapproving towards her. It was so unsettling, that the jester took a step back.

Her movement jump-started a series of chaotic, spasmic events that could only be found in a horror movie.

In the blink of an eye, before Jax could turn his head to see what caught Gangle’s attention, the previously bristling ribbons sliced through the air to grab Jax where-ever they could grip; and rapidly dragged the purple character down the hall at inhuman speed. The only trace that Pomni managed to register for her to realize that she wasn’t hallucinating what she saw, was the blinking light reflecting on the ends of the ribbons the slithered through the remaining gap in Gangle’s door, right before it slammed shut.

The little fool blinked and recovered quickly, as she was forced to do since she found herself trapped.

The soft creak of Ragatha’s door caught her attention. The Ragdoll’s face hung lower than usual, causing the red locks to shield her face. The fool blamed the light reflecting the red, glowing hue of her hair onto her face, because there was no way that she would be bashful in the given circumstances.

Right?

Ragatha stepped outside and jumped at the sight of Pomni, then feverishly looked around the hall. She paused in confusion before she shook her head once to face the fool, who just opted to turn her face to the freshly carved scratch marks on the doll’s door. While Pomni’s face fell at the sight, Ragatha’s expression remained unbothered.

It was unnerving.

“Is this really what you consider Jax caring in his own special little ways?” the jester asked skeptically – almost rhetorically – as she recalled Ragatha’s words from a previous encounter.

“You wouldn’t understand.” The doll spoke in that cursed monotone that Pomni quickly learnt to hate, “We are all one minor inconvenience away from going insane. I told you that before. Besides, out of all of us, he’s literally the animal. The urges and instincts do things to you, you know…”

The silence that followed, stretched down the hall. The girls simply stood in front of the door and looked over the ugly trenches Jax had left in the wood. It wasn’t until much later that Pomni gently pierced through the stillness with a strangely steady quip of morbid curiosity.

“Didn’t you also say that Gangle and Zooble were romantically involved? She seemed very close to Jax just then-”

“Those two are intimately close, you saw correctly.” Ragatha interrupted, finally easing up her tone as a fond, little smile grew on her face, “Zooble and I are aware – we encourage it. They are very good for each other.”

Pomni almost got whiplash with how fast she swung her head to look to the doll, “Intimate? Do you mean- do they…? Are they-?”

“Intimate; nothing odd going on there, New Stuff! Friends.” The doll clarified with a chuckle, “Very good friends with a very strange, deep connection. There’s nothing more to tell – not that it’s really our business.”

“So. it wouldn’t bother Zooble that they are alone in Gangle’s room?”

Ragatha’s eyes lit up, “Oh! That’s where they are… And no, it doesn’t bother anyone when two of us wants some time alone with each other. Jax clearly needs a shoulder, I mean, just look at my door!”

Pomni sighed heavily.

It was a relief to hear the ragdolly act ‘normal’ again, but it felt like she was growing more confused as she learned more and more about her surrounding circus mates. The sooner she earned Gangle’s trust, the better. The claw marks on Ragatha’s door made Pomni want to avoid Jax for as long as she possibly could, lest she’d risk to randomly be mauled by a spontaneously feral rabbit.

Yet again, something new for Pomni to be weary of.

“Ragatha?” Pomni asked hesitantly, “Do you think I can do this?”

No context was given, but the doll could comprehend the true question that the jester was asking - she answered as honestly as she could.

“I believe that you can.” She said softly as she looked to the little fool, who’s eyes were occupied; tracing the marks on the door, “…but it will always depend on how much you want to make it work.”

“We don’t really have a choice, do we?” Pomni tore away her gaze on the door to peer up at Ragatha, who chose to remain silent.

No need to answer something that wasn’t intended as a question.

Oasis: TADC AU list

Masterlist