#but i am talking about jackie down the line

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)

In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.

Jackieshauna

Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.

The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.

Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.

There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.

One word to describe them: Possession

Their best scene: Their last fight

"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."

“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”

“No…”

"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”

Taivan

Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.

Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.

In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.

It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.

One word to describe them: Devotion

Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)

“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”

“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”

“I love you, too.”

Lottienat

Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.

Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.

Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.

There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.

One word to describe them: Tension

Their best scene: The bathtub scene

"Good game, you fucking loser."

"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."

Lottielee

So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.

I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.

Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.

Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.

One word to describe them: Acceptance

Their best scene: The lake baptism

"I saw fire— a light."

"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."

Mistynat

This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.

At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.

While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.

It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!

One word to describe them: Unpredictable

Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke

"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"

Lottieshauna

Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.

Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.

Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.

One word to describe them: Cathartic

Their best scene: The beatdown

"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."

Travnat

There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.

When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.

Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.

One word to describe them: Trauma-bond

Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."

Jackienat

On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.

At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.

If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.

And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.

They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.

One word to describe them: Jealousy

Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones

"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."

—

And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).

[27spoons]

Under The Influence | Vanessa Palmer

pairing: vanessa palmer/reader

request: van taking care of the reader after drinking too much and the reader embarrassed herself saying how pretty they are or that she wants to be more then friends (@modernvenuss)

wc: 1820

warnings: intoxication (reader), alluding to throwing up but nothing described, fluff at the end i promise, not proofread we die like coach ben's leg

a/n: i'm assuming this was young van since it wasn't specified 😭if i am wrong i am so sorry

"Oooooooookay." As you lean on her shoulder to support yourself, Van laughs, " Someone has had too many beers."

"I have not." You say, definitely not slurring your words in the slightest. "I just had… like… a few pulls from the keg…" A small hiccup and giggle follow your words, and then a sheepish grin splits across your features.

Van rolls her eyes as she grabs the car keys from your pocket and unlocks it, "Right… and what is your definition of 'a few'? Five? Six? Ten?" She laughs, "I thought you were good at math."

"I am," leaves your lips in a grumble. "I'm really good at math."

"Right." Van agrees as she unlocks the door to your mom's Toyota, "I think these AP Precalculus classes aren't doing you any good. I would, personally, reconsider attending them if they aren't doing you any good." The passenger side door opens up, and she ushers you into the seat, clicking your seatbelt into place despite your protests.

"Vaaaaaaaaaaan." You whine petulantly as she closes the door, leaving you alone in the car for a few seconds. She moves to the driver's seat, sticking the keys in the ignition and bringing the car to life. "C'mon. Just a little while longer. I heard Jackie talking about—"

"Nope." Van cuts you off, popping the 'p,' "We are leaving."

"Where are we going?" You continue to whine, glancing over at the redhead with what you hope is the equivalent of puppy-dog eyes.

She can't fight the grin that appears on her face, and her voice shifts slightly, "The Fourth World. It's sort of like Heaven, only better, because there aren't any Christians. It's an absolute paradise of music, art and pure enjoyment."

You stare at her deadpan. "Did you just quote Heavenly Creatures to me?"

A laugh spills from her mouth as the car slides into gear, pulling away from the curb. "Oh, so you aren't drunk enough to walk, but you're drunk enough to remember lines from a movie?"

"A movie that you've made me watch, like, ten times!" You grumble, throwing your arms up in frustration, which is honestly just a result of you being drunk more than anything else. "So it's… like… your fault, or whatever." 

"You did not have to watch it with me, but you did. So, you're at fault here." She grins, clearly proud of herself. "But, just so you know, I'm taking you back home. So you can pass out on your bed instead of the front lawn of the Taylor's house." Van glances at you once the car reaches a stop sign and nudges your shoulder gently before returning her hand to the wheel, "You're gonna thank me in the morning."

You grumble out something similar to a curse—which earns you an eye roll—and you rest your head against the window, looking at the houses that pass by in the night.

At some point during the drive, you roll your window down, a soft exhale leaving your lips as the night air washes over your face. It's warm out, but not warm enough that it's uncomfortable. You close your eyes and let the feeling of the wind against your face lull you into some state of soberness, and you don't even notice the words leaving your lips as they do. "I really like you, Van." You mumble out so quietly you're almost positive the words are just bouncing around your head rather than being spoken out loud. "Like… a lot. You're always there for me when I need you, and you're really pretty." A soft sigh leaves your lips, and you feel the bumps in the road start to soothe you into a state of unconsciousness. "Sometimes I wish we were more than friends."

The next little while is a blur.

You vaguely remember Van helping you out of the car and into your house, and you swear she said something important to you after helping remove your shoes, but you can't remember what it was for the life of you.

The morning comes with a thundering headache and nausea that makes you feel like you'd rather be dead.

Maybe you did have a few too many beers last night. Whoops.

You nearly fall off your bed in an attempt to get up, scowling slightly when you realise you're still in last night's clothes. "Fuck me," comes out of your mouth with a wave of stale beer and… cigarettes? You don't even smoke. What the hell were you doing last night?

All sticky and gross, you manage to stumble out of your bedroom and into the hallway, making a beeline for the bathroom. You don't even bother flicking the lightswitch on as you fall to your knees in front of the toilet and—

Well, I'm sure you're quite aware of what you did. 

At some point, you hear a gentle murmur from the door and feel someone rest their hand on your upper back, earning a soft groan from you in response to the sudden presence. As you slowly blink yourself back into existence, you glance away from the toilet and come face-to-face with a very blurry… Van?

"Y're still here?" You mumble out, exhausted and hungover, "Why didn' y'go home?" 

"'cus I didn't have anyone to drive me there. I can't steal your mom's car; she'd kill me." Van rolls her eyes and cleans your face up with a handtowel, "Because I knew you were gonna be hungover, and I didn't want to leave you alone in the morning. Your parents are still on vacation." 

You make a small sound at that—one that you aren't quite sure what it's supposed to convey—and rest your head back on your arm with a grunt. "I wanna die."

Van scoffs, "Yeah, I grabbed some Tylenol from the medicine cabinet when I heard you in here. You can take it when you stop throwing up." She gently wipes some sweat from your forehead, and your eyes fall closed at the tender action.

You lay with your head on the toilet seat for about another ten minutes before Van decides you aren't about to throw up again anytime soon and moves you back to your bedroom, giving you some fresh clothes to wear before stepping out of your room to let you change.

She returns with a knock five minutes later, peeking her head into the room with a bottle of water and a bowl of apple sauce. "Don't know how much you can keep down right now, so… this will have to do. I'm pretty sure this apple sauce was expired, but it's… probably fine." Van grins at you, and you genuinely can't tell if she's joking or not as she takes a seat on the side of your bed. "Also got you some painkillers for your head." She places the water bottle on your nightstand and grabs the pill container from her pocket, "Hoping you can keep them down."

You smile at her gratefully, taking the apple sauce from her hands. "I… uh… shit. I feel like I owe you something."

"Three pennies and a ball o' lint, kiiiddd." She grins wide, all teeth. "Nah, you don't owe me anything. I got to crash on your couch last night and not deal with my mom, so… I think that debt is already paid." A beat, "Oh! I also stole some Fruit by the Foot. Sorry." But you both know she's far from sorry.

A quiet chuckle leaves your mouth, which causes you to wince in pain at the throbbing in your head. Van, ever the angel, takes two pills from the bottle and passes it to you alongside the water. 

An awkward silence follows you swallowing down the pills, and you aren't quite sure why Van can't meet your eyes until she breaks that tense air that surrounds you. "So, uh… just outta curiosity, how much do you remember from last night?" 

You blink a few times and exhale softly through your nose, "I… uh…" 

Your eyes go wide.

"Oh, shit, Van, I didn't mean it—I mean, I did, but I also didn't mean to say it like that—" A frustrated groan parts from your lips, and you let your head fall back against the pillow behind you. "I'm sorry."

There's a long moment of silence, and you start to worry that you've crossed a line last night, already cursing yourself for ruining a friendship that you've had for years—

She's laughing.

Van is laughing.

Loud and boisterous like she usually does, hand pressed to her stomach as she leans forward. "Oh, shit. You meant it." She keeps laughing, and you honestly aren't quite sure what to do at this point. Yes, her laughter is starting to hurt your head, but it's also nice to hear her laugh, so you don't stop it. Which is probably a mistake, considering you've listened to her laugh for what you're pretty sure was an hour straight before, but whatever. 

Van takes a breath, her grin softening. She reaches out and rests her hand on yours, her fingers warm and steady. "Listen," she starts, her tone gentler than usual. "I laughed because it caught me off guard, not 'cause I don't feel the same."

You swear your heart stutters for a moment, and you feel wide awake despite being dead tired moments ago. "Wait… what?"

She shrugs, "I mean, yeah, you’re pretty great. Always have been. And you’re not bad to look at—when you’re not puking your guts out." She smirks, but there’s a blush creeping up her cheeks. "I just didn’t think you’d... you know, feel that way."

"I didn’t think you would, either," you admit quietly, glancing down at the point where her hand rests on yours, "You’re always so... confident, Van. I figured you were way out of my league."

"We're best friends, idiot." Van rolls her eyes, her grin resurfacing. "So, by default, that makes us in the same league, actually." A beat, that grin softening again, a warmth appearing in her eyes you've only ever seen a small handful of times before. "So, what do you say? Once you’re not hungover and smelling like a brewery, maybe we... see where this goes?" She gently squeezes your hand to prove her point.

You laugh, the sound scratchy but genuine. "I’d like that. But you better bring me more Fruit by the Foot. I think my brother is gonna kill you when he gets back with my parents."

"Deal, and I'll deal with your brother. He's twelve. Not that hard to beat up." Van grins, standing up and brushing imaginary dust off her jeans. "Now, drink that water, finish your expired applesauce, and let me figure out how to fake a doctor’s note to get us out of school tomorrow."

"Why do you even know how to do that?"

She winks. "Because I’m awesome. And now, apparently, I’m yours."

a/n: crush a2c5 next trust

[chiyobot]

the way you write is so nuanced and all of the characters are so well thought out, im so excited to see what you come up with next! would especially love to see your thoughts of Jackie maybe taking on a more authoritative role w Shauna (prob pre crash)

You’re amazing!!

hope i interpreted this right. if not i will die and you will be coming to hell with me. however, serious note. thank you much for the compliments! supports like these always mean lots to me. so glad you enjoy my writing. you will hopefully enjoy this one, too.

pre-crash (mainly) top jackie x shauna thoughts.

🔞 #𝐃𝐍𝐈; ／ minors. shameless smut.

🚩 #𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒; ／fingering, cunnilingus, cheating, semi-public sex. actually pretty vanilla compared to other blurbs.

jackie'll call shauna from jeff’s bed, whisper “he’s snoring. wanna hear how wet i am for you instead?” shauna probably tries to hangs up, but not before she hears jackie's muffled gasp, the slick sound of her fingers.

shauna’s diary entries will describe jackie’s cunt in “poetic” detail—“tastes like the shit she stole from her mom's liquor cabinet, smells like sweet arousal and the gardenia perfume i fucking hate”—and jackie definitely finds it, reads it aloud while fingering her, “guess you’re a writer and a liar, shipman.”

jackie will call shauna’s landline at 2:03 am just “to talk”—“you’re breathing too loud, shauna. stop pretending you’re asleep.” shauna probably lies, says “it’s the air conditioner,” but jackie hears the hitch in her voice, the rustle of sheets, the familiar squelch of her fingers. “tell me what you’re imagining,” she demands, and shauna'll bite her lip raw before whispering “your mouth. always your mouth.”

shauna will lick jackie’s cunt in the backseat while jeff pumps gas, whispering “he’ll never know this is his aftershave on my tongue.” jackie probably kicks the window in frustration but grinds harder, muffling her moans in shauna’s jersey.

gas station, part two ( brainworms desired more ) : shauna'll dare jackie to steal jeff’s keys mid-makeout, then press the cold metal between her thighs. “wanna see how fast you can heat them up?” jackie probably hisses “bitch,” but her cunt drips onto the keychain anyway.

jeff’s stupid letterman jacket: jackie'll make shauna wear it while eating her out, just to whisper “imagine his face if he knew your tongue’s been here.” shauna probably chokes her with the belt, “imagine if he knew you begged for it.”

the time shauna actually topped ... jackie let her—once—on her 17th birthday. shauna lasted 90 seconds before jackie flipped her, pinned her face-first into sheets. “stick to writing, shipman.” ( the frosting stain never fully left shauna’s duvet ).

shauna will pick a screaming match in the cafeteria just so jackie can “punish” her later ( “you embarrassed me” ) cue shauna moaning jackie’s name into a payphone receiver while jackie listens, coins clinking as she feeds the slot to keep the line open.

the time shauna “borrowed” jackie’s favorite lip gloss and jackie made her pay by sitting on her face, grinding down until the gloss smeared across shauna’s cheeks. shauna probably came just from the humiliation, and they definitely never spoke of it again.

jackie’s got a thing for risk—she’ll slide her hand up shauna’s skirt during family dinners, fingers teasing her heat under the table while shauna tries to answer jackie’s mom’s questions about college. “be good, or i’ll make you cum right here,” jackie mouths, eyes wicked. shauna drops her fork, legs shaking, cheeks burning.

jackie will lace shauna’s cleats too tight, whisper “play like shit and i’ll punish you. play like a god and i’ll reward you.” shauna probably scores a hat trick just to watch jackie squirm in the bleachers, thighs clamped around her own fist.

jeff’s car again, but this time shauna’s the one shoving jackie onto the backseat, ripping her shorts down with a “you owe me.” jackie moans “fucking finally,” spreads her legs, and lets shauna eat her out like she’s starving.

movie night, shauna’s attic of a room: jackie slides the strap under a pile of blankets, whispers, “don’t make a sound, or your parents’ll come up.” shauna probably bites her lip raw, eyes rolling back, jackie’s hand over her mouth as she fucks her slow and mean.

aftercare’s a silent affair. jackie chewing pink lip gloss, shauna picking at the frayed edge of her comforter. they’ll probably order a meat lovers pizza later, pretend the pineapple debate matters more than the bruise blooming under shauna’s ribcage.

if you think the image banner's off-center or uneven: it's not. you're seeing things. you're seeing things and they are not real. some things you should not take notice of and these are one of the few. do not perceive it.

[rhiannonsknife]

https://www.tumblr.com/rhiannonsknife/780159619563651072/would-you-be-open-to-writing-for-akilah

YAAAAYYYYY because i can’t stop thinking about this scenario where akilah, brand new to the team, is so nervous during practice that it starts reflecting on how she plays. she’s missing easy goals, overshooting passes, etcetera, etcetera.

and then during a timeout, reader (who akilah has already been crushing on the entire school year) comes up to her and gives her some advice for dealing with nerves while playing. it helps akilah immensely, and just when she’s calming down, reader throws an off-handed flirt at her and she becomes a nervous wreck again, just for different reasons this time ;)

i love her sm guys…she’s alive and well, TRUST. anyway, my first akilah blurb, i hope you like it anon! <3

it’s only her third practice, and akilah already feels like she’s going to be sick; not because she’s out of shape or exhausted already. that, she’s not. she’s been running drills since she was ten, kicked a soccer ball around since elementary school. it’s because she is new. new new. fresh on the field, on the team and out of whatever fantasy she had about high school soccer when she begged coach martinez to let her try out mid-season.

now akilah watches mortified as the ball thuds against the goalpost again and winces as it bounces off. van lets out a low whistle, not necessarily mocking, just a little impressed by how badly she’s managing to mess up a simple shot.

she feels like she’s never played before, every fumble she makes drawing more attention to just how nervous she is.

taissa runs much faster than her, van can talk shit and catch every ball that’s actually aimed at the goal, and shauna’s already scored three times like it’s just another tuesday. and then, of course, there’s you.

you, who have been the subject of akilah’s silent spiral since her very first day at WHS, before she knew you were a yellowjacket and that she would, inevitably, want to become one too. with grass stains on your knees and a messy ponytail, you’re laughing as you run side by side with taissa, playing like you were quite literally born doing it. akilah, on the other hand, feels like tripping over her own feet.

“again!” jackie barks from midfield, snapping akilah out of her thoughts. “you’re going too wide, akilah. c’mon!” she mutters an apology, cheeks burning, and trudges back toward the half-line.

by halftime, her face is hot, her chest is tight and she wants to sink into the grass and disappear.

she’d been so excited when she made it on the team, yet standing on the field now, surrounded by half the girls she’s seen dominate every game last season, she feels like a fraud.

akilah is catching her breath on the sidelines when you jog up to her with a bottle of water in one hand. she straightens automatically.

“are you okay?” you ask, crouching close enough that she can smell the citrus of your sports drink and see the sweat sticking to your temple. there’s no judgment in your voice, only a slight curiosity. “i mean, you’ve got good footwork, but you’re holding your breath”

akilah blinks. “i- i am?”

you nod, squinting up at the sun. “yup. nerves do that. you breathe shallow, your body tightens, and you end up overthrowing everything. i used to do it too,” you kneel briefly to adjust one of the cones on the grass, then look up at her again. “try shifting your weight from your hips, not your knees. you’ve got control, you just need to let it flow instead of forcing it. i can stay after, if you want? run drills with you a bit?”

you propose it so casually, like you haven’t just offered her a piece of your time, your attention, to akilah.

you’ve had this effect on her for as long as she can remember, except that she used to think you were too busy to even notice her. too good at everything, especially soccer. now you’re here, giving her pointers like you actually care if she improves or not.

when she finally exhales that breath she’d been holding, you grin.

“oh, and akilah?” you add, already turning back toward the scrimmage. “you’ve got great legs. don’t be afraid to use them.”

her brain short circuits altogether then. she doesn’t even register what you’ve said until you’re already halfway across the field again, calling out to van like you didn’t just drop one hell of a bomb on her nervous system with an offhand comment.

by her side, lottie eyes her with mild concern. “everything alright?”

“…totally fine,” she lies.

[enviedear]

jackie and wilson — billy bonney

⤷ modern!billy au

tw— somehow this is 4.6k words. mentions of food and eating, talk of religion and bible verses, (i'm southern and was forced to go to church every sunday it reflects in the writing) smutty themes so, minors dni, 18+ only, kissing, fondling, skinny dipping, (they're in their undies) so horrifically fluffy

i can already tell this is going to become an ongoing series, so be sure to comment and lmk if you want more. also, this is influenced by my daily mantra

request

the summer heat feels like it's baking you as you traverse through the long grass of your farmland. birds call and screech in the trees lining the woods beside you. if you weren't so scared of walking the shortcut in the woods alone, your risk of sun poisoning may seem less apparent.

you grip the wicker basket in your hands tighter, eyes squinting to look for the lean farmhand-for-hire. in years past, you've been keen to take his place whenever your grandparents needed someone for an oddball job. working long hours with the older couple up until you graduated from the county high school. as the seasons changed, and you got older and busier, so did your grandparents. their work on their farm proved in dire need of help.

a simple fix—you. this summer, free from university and your internship, your parents elected you to spend the free time of your summer working on your loving grandparents' farm.

in the early days of the warm season, you managed pretty well on your own. you tended the vegetables and the fruits, took care of the chickens and sheep, and sowed the large fields with grain until sunset.

everything changed after an unfortunate incident with your grandpa's gargantuan baler. luckily, you were fine, but your pa's expensive baler was wrecked all to hell.

so here you were, now relegated to some pseudo farmer's daughter role, hand-delivering water and a full lunch to none other than billy bonney.

your grandparents say billy's nice enough, mannerly yet hushed. but you know there's more to it. at least if small town gossip is anything to believe, and here, it usually is.

everyone knows the crowd billy runs around with. he's also got a vile gang of friends. angry men with sly smirks who spend most of their free time loitering the town's local bar or gambling away their lives at lawrence murphy's corral. the type of men to carry a weapon at all times without any license, and quick to threaten to shoot with even the most minor infraction.

the knowledge was enough to have you hiding away from him every time your grandparents hired him for a job.

everytime that is, until now.

you knew with the way your pa sternly stared into your eyes that a complaint wouldn't be warranted. as your grandma instructed you to bring the farmhand some, "hearty lunch for his hard work," you came to terms with the fact that you had no right to argue.

not when you owe the old man a baler.

you finally reach the young man, covered in grime and leaning against his parked pickup, out of breath and sweltering. you try not to stare at the baler attached to the tractor, about twenty feet from his parked vehicle, your embarrassment over wrecking the last one still ever present.

his truck has its' doors wide open, blaring music through blown speakers. you try to avoid making direct eye contact with him, voice raised slightly to be heard over the folk song playing, "here. figure you're hungry."

lifting the tea towel from the top of the basket, you set it on his open truck bed. despite not looking up, you can see him hurry to turn his music down before sauntering over to you from the side of your gaze.

"thank you," his voice surprises you. it's gruff but gentle. "you kin to the old couple?"

you're not sure why, but you take offense to his question. sure you've ignored him, but you know that he knows who you are. you meet his stare, your tone dry in response, "i am."

he inclines his head toward the basket, ignoring your reply with a hum, "what'd ya' bring me, hon?"

your eyes roll unabashed at his endearment, "my grandma threw a bit of everything in there. i know there's some jambalaya— the last bit of our mud cake too."

"you're spoiling me, you tell her i said thank you," he pauses, peering down at you, "are you going to be bringin' me my lunch everyday?"

his question is innocuous but something in the way he says it makes your stomach drop. you shrug, "sure, i guess."

"i'd like that." he slips the words out before his hands dive into the basket, fishing out one of the water bottles.

you nod, confused by him, "yeah well, be careful. i guess i'll see you tomorrow."

at that you turn from him, walking your trail again to get back to the house. you fight the urge to look over your shoulder and catch a glimpse of him. some proof he's really there, that the interaction actually happened.

because despite the second-hand opinion you've held on him, billy bonney was unexpected. annoyingly so.

as you finish up your day, you can't help but think about the encounter with the dark-haired farmhand. you've known of him for years, sure, but you never expected much of him.

just another one of jesse evans’ rowdy boys.

shocking, that billy would be so different. or maybe, just better at hiding his depravity. you think back to his voice, rough around the edges, yet littered with tenderness. it’s not until you think back to his gentle smile that you realize, there’s a kindness that exudes from him, and it’s got you hook, line, and sinker.

you wonder if he's always been this way? you like to think he has. even if it is only a platitude for your undeniable crush.

in the following days, you continue to bring the farmhand his lunch, stopping to talk to him longer each noon. he's easy to talk to, apt to ask you about your day, or if you need anything. you can't exactly explain why, but you're drawn to him.

it's extra muggy as you pack up his lunch and make your way to him, breaking from his time on the baler to lay in the bed of his truck.

he doesn't take notice of you until your basket finds home right beside him, blasted speakers blaring yet another folk tune.

"hey there," he greets you with a grin, his white work shirt wrought with soil, the short sleeves haphazardly rolled, "you know i'm starting t'get used to this."

you smile back, feeling a warm sensation spreading through your body, "i'm sure you are."

billy takes a look in the lunch basket, grabbing out some water first to clear the dirt on his hands, "you wanna hang around for a bit?"

you hesitate for a moment, not sure if you should. not only do you have a long list of chores, you also still find a bit of nervousness around the young man.

but billy's been nice enough, and if he's anything like his friends you assume he would have shown it by now, "i guess i have some time."

billy nods, handing you a water and patting the free space beside him. you hop up, close enough that his side brushes yours.

the sensation sends shivers down your spine as you try to focus on conversation, pulling for anything you can say. for a moment, neither of you speaks, the only sound is coming from the music blasting from his speakers. an old rock song today, different. your eyes try to look anywhere but at him, taking in the vast expanse of farmland around you.

"must be nice to have all this land to yourself," billy says, breaking the silence.

you nod, grateful for his compliment, "it is. my grandparents have worked hard to keep it running."

"i can tell," billy says, taking a swig from his water bottle, "they got a good thing goin' here."

you agree, taking a sip from your own bottle. the sun beats down on your skin, making you feel sweaty and sticky. billy, on the other hand, seems used to it. he looks up at the sky, squinting against the sunlight.

"you know, i was thinking," billy says, steady voice breaking the silence again, "what would you say if i took you out sometime?"

your heart skips a beat, your mind going into overdrive. you never expected billy to ask you out, even more so that you’d be so willing to entertain the idea.

you hesitate for a moment before answering, "i don't know. i mean, i barely know you."

this is a half truth, you know him. only this version though, the sweet billy bonney who works on your family farm and takes his lunch breaks with you. you don't have any idea who he is outside of these moments.

at least not first hand. just second hand gossip. you wouldn’t even know which stories are real or fake. you’re not sure if he’s a convincing actor or genuine soul. there are rumors he shot a man back in his hometown. that he launders money with jesse evans’ gang. that he’s a cheat from a rodeo front, taking ignorant peoples’ bet money.

billy hums, breaking your anxious thoughts, "what'd you wanna know, hon? i'm an open book."

you chew on your lip, thinking about it. it could be a smart move, you're curious about him and need to know more. you need to know what about him is fact or fiction. but at the same time, you're afraid of what the truth may be, "i don't know," you say finally. "i mean, work, for example. is this all you do?"

billy cracks a smile, "no, hon’. this s’more of a side job.” he sighs, “i was a pickup for jesse evans' rodeo for a while, but that new fella' that just came to town—mr. tunstill, he's got me a better gig."

you furrow your brows, already on edge by the mention of his previous employer, "and what exactly is that?"

he chuckles a bit, "he's got me as a producer, but i do show on the weekends."

"so what? you're a full-fledged rodeo man? with bulls and all?" you'd always know of jesse's grimy ‘rodeo’, really just used as a gambling den and club, but you're intrigued by the idea of billy actually doing it. especially working with tunstill, a sincerely kind wealthy man from overseas. it must be a stark contrast to jesse’s.

"i guess. it's a good time and you can make honest money dependin' on the event," he pauses, "it's not like jesse's, if that's what you're wondering."

you look away from him, "my pa never let me go. when i turned twenty-one i tried to go with a bunch of my girlfriends. he about had a stroke keeping me out the door."

"he's smart, you shouldn't go. those guys are bad news." he's talking quieter now, less sugary and more solemn.

you fight your previous embarrassment, opting to stare straight into his pale blues, "you hang around those guys."

your sentiment is clear and billy goes hush for a long few seconds before speaking, eyes closed, "do not carouse with drunkards or feast with gluttons, for they are on their way to poverty, and too much sleep clothes them in rags."

you know those words, heard primarily while crammed in a pew, "you're a religious man?" you don't mean to, but your question comes out a bit unconvinced.

he opens his eyes back up, a spark of something you can't place within them, "no, not really. jus' something mr. tunstill keeps repeating to me. i didn't really pay it any mind till i met you."

you try to ignore the way his hand inches closer to your own, "why's that?"

"not sure. just seems easier to abide by now. i'd hate to end up like them. i know you don't like 'em." his voice is soft, but the hand that takes hold of yours isn't.

you look down at your feebly interlocked hands, hesitating, and then taking his hand with the same conviction, "no, i don't," a breath, "but i like you."

billy's face lights up at your words, and he leans in closer to you. you can feel his breath on your face, and your heart races with excitement and anticipation. you’ve never felt to entrapped in a man before, so ready to dive in head first.

without thinking, you reach out to touch his sun kissed cheek, and he leans into your hand. your fingers trace a path down his cheek, and then down to his lips. you have an overwhelming urge to kiss him, and you're surprised when he pulls back.

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have done that." you say, feeling embarrassed.

"no, it's not that. it's just… i want to take you out on a real date. something proper." his cheeks have grown far more pink, only this time it's not the sun's doing.

you consider his words for a moment, before nodding, "that sounds real nice, billy."

he grins, and you feel a flutter in your chest. how he managed to make you feel this way so soon, you're not sure.

"you free this friday?" he asks, amusement in his tone.

you release his hand, grabbing for your phone, "should be, my boss loves me," a stupid joke, but you hand the touchscreen to him, "put your number in, so we can plan a time."

you climb down from the bed of the truck, peering up at the farmhand as he adds his number to your phone. when he's done he hands you back the phone, the sun casting an auburn glow to his hair.

you look up at him, and he smiles down at you, "don't be a stranger." he jokes.

you give him a laugh, "wouldn’t dream of it," you add, "i'll see you friday— i'm going into town with my grandma tomorrow. i'm sure it'll last all day."

billy hums, "till' friday, honey."

you turn and head back to the house, smiling to yourself, feeling happy and alive in a way that you haven't felt in a long time.

the next day, thursday, you wake up early to accompany your grandma into town. the older woman drags you up and down shopping centre's, moaning on and on about how cheaply things are made now.

you make it through the first ten stores without your smile cracking, you think it must be a finely tuned talent.

it's not until well after lunch the woman decides to slow down, stopping at a local diner to eat. she does most of the talking, gossiping about everyone she's run into today.

you love your grandma and you enjoy your time with her, but you're too focused on tomorrow to really be good company.

if she notices your change in behavior though, she doesn't comment. highly unlike her.

by the time the sky is more dark than light, you two head home. she plays old country music the whole ride, teeny-bopper songs that remind you how young she used to be.

and when you finally lay your head down to rest, you don't try to fight off the supercut in your mind of your sweet farmhand.

the next day, fateful friday, arrives with a mix of nerves and excitement. you find yourself checking the clock more often than usual, the anticipation building as the day progresses. your mind drifts to the possible plans for the evening, wondering where billy might take you on this 'proper date.'

a bit after the sun hits noon, you finish up your chores on the farm, your thoughts consumed by your impending evening. you decide to freshen up and put on something nice, an easy way to get your mind together.

your closet here is less thorough than the one at home, but the innocent tops and bottoms of your late teens still fit. you look less severe than you'd normally for a date. forgone are the dark, tight, and sultry clothes of your college town, leaving you looking ever so sweet.

the early afternoon arrives, and you hear the distant rumble of his pickup as it approaches. you feel alight with a muddled mess of nerves as you make your way out of the house to meet him.

you look over your shoulder when you crack the door open. making sure you haven't awoken your sleeping grandparents, who rarely miss their three o'clock naps.

the summer sun is high in the sky, casting a bright glow over the landscape. billy's leaned up against his truck, staring expectantly at your front porch— staring at you, you realize.

as you walk to him, you can't help but notice the effort he put into dressing up. his filthy work shirt is replaced with a clean, green linen button-down, and there's a hint of ambery cologne in the air. he offers you a genuine smile, eyes lighting up as he takes in your appearance.

"hey there, beautiful." he greets you, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder blade, comforting.

"hi," you reply, returning his saccharine smile. "you clean up nice."

he chuckles, a bit bashful, "well, i figured it's a special occasion."

you let him lead you to the passenger side, where he opens the rusty pickup's door for you, you fight back your grin when he follows in after.

as you drive into town, the atmosphere is a blend of excitement and a tinge of nervousness. billy takes you to a quaint little restaurant a bit outside of town. it's casual but with dim lights and a cozy ambiance. certainly it's the most romantic restaurant around without heading an hour out into the city. the two of you share stories and laughs, finding little to no lull in conversation.

"you want any dessert?" you ask, fiddling a loose thread at the hem of your blouse.

billy shrugs, "i've never said no to some banana puddin'. what'd you say?"

you giggle, nodding in agreement. you feel high off of his company. you're giddy and doing a horrible job at hiding it, but he doesn't seem to mind. instead, he relegates to matching your optimism, only validating every enamored thought of him that rings in your mind.

the warm evening air swirls around you as the two of you exit the restaurant. billy offers his hand, and you gladly intertwine your fingers as you stroll down the sidewalk. the town square is alive with the soft glow of streetlights.

as you walk, the conversation continues, easy and simple. billy talks animatedly about his past few weekends at the rodeo and shares some amusing anecdotes about the other rider’s on the circuit. you, in turn, finally divulge your baler incident, much to his chagrin.

the final hours of afternoon are slowly rolling in, and soon you find yourselves back at his pickup truck. you assume he'll drive you home, but to your surprise, he takes a different route, heading towards the backroads right beside your land. you raise an eyebrow, curious about this unexpected detour.

"where are we going?" you inquire, a playful smile dancing on your lips.

billy smirks but doesn't say anything, keeping the destination a secret. the road is winding and narrow— made of dirt and full of large potholes. you know your little front-wheel drive could never make it. eventually, he slows the car off the path, onto the side of the road.

there's an apparent trail just to the right of you, and when billy opens the door for you, he immediately ushers you toward it, "don't worry, we won't go too far in."

you'd be lying if you said the setting sun wasn't adding a level of unease to the idea of entering the woods, but when you look at billy, eyes bright and smile true, you throw aside your worries.

the young man is true to his word. the trek into the woods only lasts a few minutes before you see it. an azure expanse of water— a secluded lake surrounded by towering oak trees and a backdrop of rolling hills.

you turn back to look at him, shocked, "how did you find this?"

"jus’ by chance a few years ago. i figured you'd been out here before, living so close," he remarks, "but i like that i got to show it to you." billy admits, a devoted glint in his eyes.

as you stand there, gazing at the serene lake, you feel a sense of wonder and gratitude for this unexpected and beautiful surprise. you can't remember the last time the familiar landscape of home felt so awing. billy seems to be taking in your reaction, a quiet satisfaction evident on his face.

"it's breathtaking." you finally say, your voice hushed in appreciation.

billy grins, seemingly pleased with your reaction, "so are you."

you turn back to the water to hide your flustered expression.

you watch him find a comfortable spot by the water's edge, sitting on a large flat rock. you follow suit, letting your head nestle into his chest. the sounds of nature surround you—the rustling leaves, the gentle lapping of the water, and the distant calls of birds. it's a stark contrast to the hustle and bustle of the town and the farm.

you look up at him as inconspicuously as possible, eager to commit his image to memory. his umber hair curls at the nape of his neck, slender nose burnt from the sun, his freckles apparent, and his ever-inspired blue eyes reflecting the water ahead.

you look away as your heartbeat quickens, afraid that if you peer up any longer he'll be able to hear the rhythm.

"can you swim?" you ask, toes dipping into the waters below.

billy's gaze softens, the radiant hues of his eyes flickering with warmth as he looks down at you. his calloused hand idly tracing circles on your back, comforting, "yeah, i can swim. why? you wanna go for a dip?" he replies, a playful glint dancing across his face.

enthusiastically, you nod, "i'd love to. it's been ages since i've been swimming in a place like this."

with a charismatic grin, billy stands up, extending a hand to help you rise. he doesn't hesitate to unbutton his shirt and free himself from his pants— clothed only in his black boxers.

you try to be as carefree as him, but you're slower to shed your attire. by the time you do, he's already shoulder deep in the water.

you make your way to the water's edge, stepping in. the cool embrace of the lake greets your skin as you wade in. the sun now casts a dim golden glow on the rippling surface.

as you move deeper into the water, you feel a sense of liberty wash over you. you let out a contented sigh, feeling weightless and unburdened. billy is a few feet away from you, beckoning you to come closer with a smile on his face. you oblige, splashing water playfully in your wake.

as you approach him, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close. you can feel the heat emanating from his body, warming you up in the cool water. your bare skin presses against his, and you can feel a hint of longing course through your veins.

"you're s'beautiful," he whispers, his breath hot against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "prettiest girl i've ever seen."

you chuckle slightly, looking beside him to the water, "you're just blowing smoke up my ass."

his hand finds your cheek, gently beckoning you to face him fully, "why would i ever do that?" he hums, "i only say things i mean, honey."

you blink at him, too far gone to stop your gaping, "you're a charmer, billy bonney. do you hear that a lot?"

he laughs, both hands now coming to rest at your hips, forcing you to wrap your legs around his, "i only need to hear it from you."

he says it so carelessly, without a thought. he's telling the truth, you surmise.

"why? you like me or something?" the words come out genuine, despite your teasing intent.

billy's eyes trail down to your lips, "i like you a whole lot, honey," you feel his grip grow steadier, holding you closer to him. he looks back up at you, gaze tempting, "i like you s'much i worked an extra four days on your farm jus’ to see you."

the revelation hangs in the air, and you find yourself caught in a suspended moment, the water lapping gently around you. billy's admission resonates, sinking deep into the newfound connection you've shared over these past days. his stare, earnest and reserved, locks with yours, and you can't help but feel a swirl of emotions.

a smile plays on your lips, a mixture of surprise and awe, "that's dedication." you reply, a playful sparkle in your eyes.

billy grins, his hands still securely holding you. "only for you, honey. i'm nothin' if not devoted."

you gleam at his words, intrinsically leaning closer to him. you're so close to letting your lips brush his before you stop, eager to see the weight of his affection once more, "you can kiss me now, if that's what you're waiting for."

with that, he presses his lips to yours, kissing you with a hunger that leaves you breathless. you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, savoring the taste of him on your tongue.

billy breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck and collarbone, leaving a trail of kisses and nips along the way. you tilt your head back, giving him better access to your skin, letting out a soft sigh as he finds the sensitive spot on your neck.

"you're gonna be the death o'me." he whispers against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine.

your fingers tangle in his hair as he continues his assault on your neck, alternating between gentle kisses and nibbles. you can feel the heat building between your bodies, the water around you providing a cooling effect to your heated embrace.

billy's hands slip down to cup your ass, pulling you closer to him so that there's barely any space between you. he grinds his hips against yours, earning a moan from deep in your throat. you can feel his hardness pressing against you through the thin fabric of his boxers.

your eyes flutter open and you lock gazes with him, the intensity of his gaze mesmerizing. you tilt your head back down, allowing him to steal another kiss. his tongue teases yours. his hands roam up and down your body, exploring every inch of you he can with a passionate fervor.

you can feel yourself being taken into the depths of him until you can barely think or breathe. it's only when he finally pulls away, that you realize the afternoon has fully evolved into the beginnings of nighttime. the sky above you is almost entirely dark, littered with stars.

somehow, you still don’t think the kiss was long enough.

billy smiles at you, brushing his hair away from his eyes. you can't help but smile back, feeling content and happy.

"i think i like you too much." he murmurs, his warm breath caressing your skin. you laugh softly, feeling the same way.

a hum of agreement, "me too." you whisper back, pulling him into a tight hug. you stay like that for a while, enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other's embrace.

as the night deepens, you and billy finally decide to make your way back to the truck. billy helps you out of the water, his touch lingering as you both reluctantly part from the tranquil lake. the air is filled with the sounds of nocturnal creatures, their symphony accompanying your footsteps as you follow the narrow trail back to the pickup truck.

the woods, now cloaked in darkness, take longer to exit. the moonlight filters through the dense canopy of leaves, casting shadows on the forest floor.

once back at the truck, you find yourself wrapped in a cozy blanket billy had thoughtfully brought along. the drive home is filled with a comfortable silence, the events of the evening settling into a cherished memory. the road is dimly lit by the truck's headlights, and the night sky is a canvas of stars above.

as you approach the farmhouse, the thrill of the night lingers between you and billy. he parks the truck, and the engine falls silent. the two of you sit in the quiet for a moment, savoring the experience.

"thank you for tonight, you were real sweet." you say, breaking the silence.

billy turns to you, a peaceful smile playing on his lips. "i should be thanking you, for goin’ out with me. so thank you, darling. i think you're real sweet too."

"i'm real glad we met." you add.

he reaches over, his hand finding yours, fingers intertwining in a comfortable gesture. "me too," he replies, his gaze holding yours.

with a reluctant smile, you open the truck door, preparing to step out. billy, however, stops you with a gentle tug on your hand.

"before you go," he starts, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, "i was wonderin' if you'd like to do this again sometime. maybe i could take you down to the rodeo?"

the question catches you off guard, but the sincerity in his expression is undeniable. you feel a warmth spread through your chest, and you nod, "i'd like that, billy."

he grins, the moonlight casting a soft glow on his features. "good. it's a date then." you agree, leaning up and placing a peck on his pink lips before stepping out of the truck.

it's not until you're safely inside that he drives away into the night, the sound of the engine fading into the distance.

even as you slip into bed, the memories of the night play in your mind like a vivid dream. you drift into sleep with thoughts of the lake, the evening kisses, and the now waivered apprehension of the farmhand.

you've found yourself ensnared with billy bonney.

—reblog and like if you enjoyed, let ur local writer know you like her work !

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₊˚౨ৎ˚₊ to remain on my taglist, make sure to interact :)

[theemporium]

Mai Tai with Frat NicoJack 🥹 promt 23 please xx

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

23. carrying the other in their arms

.

You hadn’t planned to get this drunk.

There was always the risk that you were going to get shit-faced drunk because Trevor was nothing if not an enabler, and he was fucking dangerous when he had a few drinks in him. He could persuade anybody to do anything, he was just charming that way. But the important point was that it was not planned. 

However, both Nico and Jack had a pretty good idea where the night was going when you had mentioned that Trevor wanted you to join him at some line dancing club across town that nobody else wanted to join him at. 

So, honestly, it was no surprise when they had received a variety of incoherent messages from you throughout the night. Both of the boys had been quite amused, both tucked under the covers as they watched some random hockey game that was playing for a chill night in. 

They had not expected a call somewhere past midnight. And they had not expected it to be from Trevor.

“No, she’s—” There was a fit of giggles before the boy continued. “She’s sooooo drunk right now and she wants you two. Like, she’s literally refusing to get off the sidewalk right now.” 

And Trevor was right. By the time both boys had made it down to Nico’s car and driven across town, they found the two of you sitting on the side of the road outside the bar. Country music was playing from inside, laughs and cheers and singing could be heard too. But you were lost in your own world, your head resting on Trevor’s shoulder as he rambled away about god-knows-what.

“There’s our girl,” Jack teasingly called out once they got out of the car, making their way over. His smile widened a little when he watched you lift your head up, your face brightening at the sight of your boys. 

“Jacky baby,” you grinned widely, blinking slowly. “You came.” 

“We both did,” Nico smiled softly as he kneeled down in front of you, pushing some hair out of your face. “How are you feeling, baby?” 

“Soooo good,” you giggled. “Trev bought me a bunch of drinks.”

“I am a gentleman,” Trevor replied, puffing his chest out a little and sending you into another fit of giggles. 

Nico shook his head but his expression was fond. He turned to look at Trevor, his brows raised. “You coming home too?” 

“Pffft, as if!” You snorted before leaning in, attempting—and failing—to whisper to your boyfriend as you said, “he was talking to a cute guy in there. He is soooo going home with him.” 

Jack grinned. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded before placing your finger on your lips. “Shhh, don’t tell Trevor I told you.”

“You are so drunk,” Trevor laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “You got her?” 

“We can handle her,” Nico assured Trevor with a nod, patting his shoulder. “Go enjoy the rest of the night.”

Trevor smirked as he began making his way back into the bar. “Good luck with Mrs P!” 

“Hey,I’m fine!” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Look! I can even walk by myself!” 

However, it took less than a second for you to quickly disprove your own claim. You were wobbling even before you could stand up straight on both feet, but thankfully, both boys managed to reach for you. 

“My knights in shining armour,” you laughed as you sunk into their touch. “M’tired. Carry me?” 

Jack raised his brows, trying to hold back his laugh as you flashed them both your puppy dog eyes. “Which one?” 

“You’re both my boyfriends,” you huffed. “Why can you both not carry me?”

“That doesn’t feel effective, schatz,” Nico murmured with a smile, squeezing your arm a little. “How about a deal, hm? One of us will carry you to the car right now and the other will carry you into the house.”

A smile broke out on your face. “Deal!” You turned to face Jack, batting your eyelashes. “Carry me?”

“Course, babe,” Jack smiled, wasting no time as he hooked his arms under your legs and lifted you in his arms. “Had a fun night, pretty girl?”

“So much fun,” you grinned, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. “Need to go there with you two. Wanna dance with you both.”

“We’ll see how you feel in the morning first,” Nico mused, opening the door to the backseat so you and Jack could climb in. 

“I won’t even be hungover, just you wait and see,” you grumbled to your boyfriend, your eyes already starting to flutter shut. 

“We’ll see,” Jack snorted, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

.

[sonderinghiraeth]

Stan Pines/Reader Headcanons

[ Reader from Jackie and Wilson with Stan literally poisons my brain. I think about them constantly. The worm that has taken the place of my brain told me to make little headcanons about them and who I am to deny her? ]

۶ৎ Stan loves calling into the radio station if you open up the line for calls. He makes it a whole gag and pretends to be a stranger trying to flirt you up, talking about him being a longtime fan and how sexy your voice sounds. He'll request the most cheesy corny song he possibly could like "Close to You" by Carpenters or something. You love to play long.

۶ৎ Don't even get this man started on that damn record player in his room. If you're in a particular bad mood, he'll come in, put his hands on his hips, grunt. "Uh-uhn, we're gonna have none of that." He would say, putting a jazz record on before flinging you up from the bed to wrap his arms around you and spin you around the room until you're feeling better.

۶ৎ You don't know it, but a few days after the nasty phone call with your mom, Stan took it upon himself to call her on his own terms. They talked for hours while you were at work, and eventually, Stan got her to come around. She agreed to call once you both arrive to New York.

۶ৎ Stan has how you like your coffee written down on the fridge, mainly because he keeps forgetting, and you're in such a rush when you wake up in the morning for work that he never has the time to wrack his brain and remember before you're already barreling out the door.

۶ৎ Stan really, really worries that you're selling yourself short to him. He thinks you deserve a better, younger man, especially when it started getting serious. However, on a night after you moved out of your roommates and before the portal incident, you had a midnight powwow with Stan and soothed all of his insecurities right then and there.

۶ৎ He got in bed, all solemn, mainly because he feared what you would think of him with the impending opening of the portal, and he even thought about getting you an apartment somewhere not here and a one-way ticket out of Gravity Falls. You took notice of this and finally dragged some of it out of him. Save for the portal part obviously. You straddled him in your nightgown on the bed, took his face into both hands, and with each kiss you pressed to him, you described a feature that made him worth it.

۶ৎ He would never tell you, but he probably slept a grand total of 72 hours the two weeks the two of you spent a part post portal incident. He would sit on that loveseat and ruminate about how much he regretted not being honest with you. Especially the night he could hear your laughs coming from Ford's office before you told him you decided to stay.

۶ৎ Stan lovesss when you dress all skimpy. He would give anything to have a Polaroid of you in just cutoff overalls or in some sort of country pinup outfit. And if you ever rode him? Oh, you're getting called his cowgirl from then on.

۶ৎ This man LOVES STEALING FLOWERS OUT OF PEOPLE'S FLOWER BEDS FOR YOU. And he doesn't even bother to hide that they're very obviously from like, Soos's Abuela's flowerbed or something, roots and everything.

۶ৎ He also really likes picking you up. It gives him an ego boost that he still has strength and isn't just wilting with each passing day. You also like being in his arms, so this is a very fair trade.

۶ৎ Ford would eventually tell Stan about your dream with Bill, but he never told you that he knew. Instead, he was just more heart-warmed by the fact that your thought of a perfect fantasy involved him. The morning after Ford told him, you were served breakfast in bed. Anything to make little pieces of that fantasy come true.

۶ৎ When Stan finds out your favorite bands, he makes it a point to obtain records of them, even if he has to steal them. Music is an integral part of your relationship, I mean, it's technically what brought you together.

[professorspork]

Wicked 1/23/25, National Tour @ Hollywood Pantages in Los Angeles

HELLO FRIENDS.

I have just seen Wicked LIVE AND IN PERSON for the first time since *checks notes* holy shit six years exactly to the day, I saw Jackie Burns and Kara Lindsay on 1/23/19 in this very same theater

that's wild

anyway i was very disappointed in past me's note-taking so today i wrote down EVERYTHING

but also i didn't remember to pack my notepad like i thought i did so i ended up scribbling wildly on my hand, and then my arm, and then my ankle like i was possessed by some eldritch horror

no, i can't read a word of that either

anyway COME ON THIS JOURNEY WITH ME, SHALL WE?

ngl a massive reason I bought this ticket was to see openly queer Mullet Glinda herself, Austen Danielle Bohmer, so I happily took a photo of the company listing when I walked in:

...only to then be very put out when I opened up my Playbill and saw that in fact I was scheduled to see the second understudy, Allsun O'Malley:

I asked an usher if he knew who would be Glinda and he was like "I'm pretty sure the board out front is correct?" so I had to wait in feverish anticipation to know for sure

In the meantime I saw this note:

...which made me hope I might get to hear the audible electric guitar music variants in Dancing Through Life etc that the LA production used to do in the Eden and Megan days but alas, it did not happen

seeing Austen also did not happen, and I could tell IMMEDIATELY because when the bubble floated in there was a visible like EIGHT INCHES OF CLEARANCE between the top of Glinda's head and the bubble and i was like "well that ain't Tall Glinda"

(Allsun is very aware that she is a short queen, bless)

here's the thing about Allsun O'Malley: she has a DISTINCTIVELY naturally low speaking voice and she doesn't do a thing to hide it as Glinda. Helen was pondering aloud the other day if Every Glinda Does A Voice and I had speculated that yeah, probably, bc if they're not doing Billie Burke they're doing Cheno and if they're not doing Cheno they're doing The Concept Of Glinda and like. nah. she'd sing the operatic high notes and then talk with this brassy alto and it was SO distinctive and interesting. (this is also a surprise tool that will help us later)

i cannot explain why I feel this so strongly, but the closest analog I can come up with to the energy and presence of Allsun's Glinda is like. Nate Stevenson???? the comparison came to me IMMEDIATELY and I could not articulate just what it is if you paid me but i felt it in my bones

okay thoughts scene by scene that's how we'll do this

NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

I really liked how my Frex, Wayne Schroder, did "I'm off to the assembly, dear." It was like. Actually distracted and off the cuff like real married couples speak and not Hello I Am Union And Delivering My First Big Line and i appreciated that

Glinda got SO close to memory!Boq and almost touched his face, which moved me. Allsun's "it was a long time ago, and we were both very young" was satisfyingly near-tears

DEAR OLD SHIZ

tonight's Boq, Alex Vinh, had a ponytail! spoiler alert his Tinman did not have a silver tinsel ponytail which was a great disappointment

ROOM ASSIGNMENTS

Lauren Samuels is ALSO A SHORT QUEEN pocket sized gelphie made me feral. Lauren's portrayal of Elphie kind of faded into the background at times because Allsun and later Xavier McKinnon (😍🥵 MORE ON HIM IN A MINUTE) were both so charismatic but I did enjoy it very much

her "I'm beautifully tragic" was fuckin great, really leaned into the humor

when Galinda introduced herself as "Galinda Upland... of the Upper Uplands" she held out her hand like she expected Morrible to kiss it

Morrible did not kiss it

speaking of Morrible, Aymee Garcia has a SHOCKINGLY good voice and after seeing so many bootleg Morribles who don't bother to sing at all getting such a strong and lovely singer was a wonderful jolt to the system

Galinda didn't do a full trust fall faint at "something's wrong, I didn't get my way" (totally fair, not something I think is reasonable to expect from a second u/s) but Allsun still linked elbows with her friends, which is notable only because she did it later in the exact same way after Dillamond booted everyone from class like "Animals Should Be Seen And Not Heard" had also affected her (or admittedly possibly like she was worried she'd be blamed for it)

THE WIZARD AND I

Lauren did the thing where when Elphie says "when we work hand in hand" she holds up her best friend Suitcase by the handle and this is a Little Elphie Thing I always love

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

rather disappointingly, this is one of the moments I honestly don't have big feelings about, which is telling. Allsun's G(a)linda is very obsessed with Elphie but enduringly, tragically straight about it and it was obvious to me as early as here I would not be Getting Everything I Wanted

HOWEVER

she did a full on Tevye-style shoulder shimmy for that last moment when Galinda's dancing and Elphie hip-checks her and it was very good

HISTORY CLASS/SOMETHING BAD

Kingsley Leggs did not get touchy with his students and did do the air quotes for "scapegoat" so perfect Dillamond no notes

I'm also not sure of most Dillamonds do this and it's not in the shot re: boots, but he explicitly shushed Elphaba before she could tell Morrible what happened from behind Morrible's back which I liked v much

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

Xavier's Fiyero is dreamy as fuck and can dance so well and can sing so pretty and i am SO VERY ENAMORED

srsly cannot overstate how fabulous he was, even though he's obviously a fiyeraba truther and not a thropple guy more on that later tho

bc i know my wife will ask, yes Allsun did the pokey stab at "sharp, doncha think" but did not do it hard enough for the hat to actually make contact w Lauren's stomach

Allsun was so short you could barely tell Xavier was dipping her lmaooooo

for the first time i noticed a sad wallflower dancer girl who's by herself near the stairs for most of the Ozdust portion and i want to know what her deal is

Allsun HUGGED Morrible at "how can I express my gratitution?" and lmao Morrible did not care for it one bit

Xavier did the cutest little shoulder nudge at "then what's the matter?" and at hearing "nothing" transformed into The Most Suave Man In The World for "good, let's dance" as like a SEDUCTION line it was great

Lauren's solo dance ruled, peak intense cringe

VERY striking to me that when Galinda first approaches Elphie, the crowd goes "yaaaaas!" like they think she's going to get off a really good zinger. they then LAUGH at "can I cut in?" as though that in itself is the insult they were waiting for. in the boots I've seen I've mostly taken this for audience laughter at that line, but tonight it was VERY clear it was from the ensemble

SECRETS/POPULAR

Allsun started the scene fully belly-flopped on the bed and remained laying down for "Your very first party?" which is the first time I've seen that

Lauren's English accent made its only appearance during the milkflowers monologue when she let out a "mum"

After the popular/LAR moment when Galinda has to dance cross the stage and then return to the bed, Allsun chose to do so by doing a lasso motion and pulling herself back to Elphie which charmed me utterly

Allsun did a full fucking split at "very very popular like me" it was damn impressive

I hope there's an Allsun boot someday her toss toss pose also involves particular foot placement and she MADE Lauren stand up and copy her

Lauren also fully tossed her hair entirely into her face so hard she had to pick it out of her mouth, I'm p sure she must do this every night it ruled

however this Popular still sealed Allsun's fate as Very Straight, the vibes were just. not there alas.

LION CUB

SINCE WHEN IS THERE WIRE WORK WHERE ELPHIE FLOATS TWO OF THE STUDENTS??? WHEN DID THEY MAKE THIS CHANGE??!?!?! i was astonished lmao

Lauren and Xavier really made a meal of "you think i'm really stupid don't you?" "no! not... really stupid" and I knew then for sure this was a Fiyeraba Truther cast

I'M NOT THAT GIRL

another "SINCE WHEN?" moment: the tour cheaped out on getting a bridge the cast could actually walk on, so the bridge is a flat set piece and then in the interlude Galinda and Fiyero actually just run onto the stage to dance in the rain and there's a spinning hug and it is DEVASTATINGLY EFFECTIVE at showing the two of them actually enjoying dating with Elphie on the outside looking in, I loved it, it should be like this everywhere

TRAIN SCENE

they modified the blocking so that rather than drag elphie back after she tries to run after Nessa, Allsun just body blocks Elphie completely from chasing by holding out an arm which I loved

Fiyeraba trutherism cont'd, Xavier *sprinted* past Allsun to give Elphie her flowers before having to cross all the way back for her. she then grabbed the flowers to offer them ALONGSIDE him at "we're both so happy for you" which charmed me but again, it read competitive not compersive

I can't explain how but Allsun delivered "I've always wanted to see the Emerald City" in this sweetly vulnerable way, like it was something she'd mentioned to Elphie before and she was touched Elphaba remembered

ONE SHORT DAY

Ever since Helen told me she heard an audio boot where Lindsay Mendez read the line "finally somewhere I belong" instead of "i belong" and I've wanted one ever since and Lauren delivered

in the long pause after "two BEST friends" it was Lauren who broke and reached first. this was repeated later in "I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this" which is striking to me because I was/am going to make a punctum about how Annaleigh Ashford always did it the exact opposite, where she reached first and let her Elphies choose to take her hand

AUDIENCE WITH OZ

when Elphie was bowing during "I'm Elphaba Thropp your terribleness" Glinda was coaching her through doing it from the sidelines like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls

Blake Hammond's first two credits in his bio are Edna in Hairspray and Pumbaa in Lion King, and he plays the Wizard exactly how you would expect knowing these two things

A SENTIMENTAL MAN

yes Helen he did do "son or daughter" like Glinda was his son, as god intended

LEVITATION SPELL

Lauren was d e v a s t a t e d after "you have no real power," she wasn't even listening to "exactly, and that's why i need you" she was fully head down hair covering her face CRYING crying

DEFYING GRAVITY

Allsun's "STOP" was authoritative rather than soul-rending, but then she knelt down NEXT to Lauren and HUGGED HER AROUND THE SHOULDERS for "maybe you're not as powerful as you think you are"

Lauren delivered "come with me; think of what we could do... together" near tears and i loved it

this was the biggest moment Allsun's second understudy status shined through, for a second there she couldn't get the cape clasp closed and it was an UNCOMFORTABLY long fermata for the orchestra giving her the room to do it before transitioning into the Elphie gets to her feet drum roll

again, not sure if this was a Them Thing or if this always happens and I never noticed because boots are in closeup and I wasn't looking for it before, but at "and if I'm flying solo" Lauren did a full on goodbye wave to Allsun as like a farewell of forgiveness and understanding and Allsun reach-waved back

growl at the beginning of ~battlecry, ty Lauren for my life

INTERMISSION

it was my intention to spend my intermission beginning the draft of this post and frantically try and decipher the mad scribblings i'd made up my arms, but i instead spent most of it talking to the woman next to me, a gregarious mom who'd brought her two girls

she told me she'd only just seen the movie and then DIDN'T GO ON THE INTERNET bc she DIDN'T WANT SPOILERS FOR ACT TWO

!!!!

reader i loved her this woman made my night

she was so into everything and when I told her about how often I'd seen the show she asked me so many questions about what changed over time and was so impressed by what they managed to do on stage

also one of her daughters was like "mom, elphaba's FUNNY!" in surprised delight and uh yeah that is my greatest criticism of Cynthia's portrayal and the fact that these random normies could tell was. a lot. to me.

it was only at this moment that it dawned to me how FULL this audience was of kids and parents in this exact same position, people who legitimately did not know what was coming in act 2

the following are the moments that earned OUT LOUD GASPS from the WHOLE AUDIENCE due to this fact:

Tin Man reveal

Dillamond under the blanket reveal

"use her sister"

"things that don't belong to us" up through the slaps, gasps on EACH ESCALATING LINE/MOMENT

Fiyero turning the gun on Glinda

"she was yours all along" THEY. DID NOT. SEE. THIS. COMING.

anyway

THANK GOODNESS

pitch-perfect "not how you described it to me"/"not exactly but we'll talk about it later"

because, again, the bridge was not something the ensemble could stand on, everyone was just crowded around the platform for this, which made it feel (purposefully and effectively) claustrophobic. despite being an obvious Fiyeraba truther Xavier is so GALLANT to Glinda in this scene, because like-- when Morrible gets the crowd all riled up and they start choking in, he made this protective motion like he thought they were gonna grab at Glinda and he was keeping her safe

then after stalking off, he trotted back to give Glinda a chivalrous hand down from the platform like it was just pure instinct

SINCE WHEN DOES POPULAR MOTIF PLAY UNDER THE GLINDA AND FIYERO TALK???!?

however the fact that I have more to say about Xavier's choices in this scene than I do Allsun says all you need to know i think

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Erica Ito hadn't made much of an impression on me in act 1 but she ATE in this scene. nessa was fierce as fuck and actually scared me at "lost your heart?"

also before that she did the thing Michelle Federer used to do and looked all paranoid over her shoulder after "i'm an unelected official" like people could be listening and i've missed it

Lauren did EXCELLENT reaching as Allsun and Xavier left the stage in the scene transition into Wonderful

WONDERFUL / FREEING THE MONKEYS / REUNION

sorry Mr. Hammond i have nothing more to say abt your Wizard

Allsun got big laughs on her pained, awkward-trying-to-be-chipper delivery of "we all went to school together"

the fiyeraba trutherism comes home to roost, i have never seen any fiyero burst out "i'm going with her" so fucking fast

his callousness there was balanced by how kindly he pulled off the "well it was -- but it wasn't" to both

still, he was fully out the room and expected elphie to just follow him after his exit bc he didn't grab her hand, so he had to COME BACK FOR HER and DRAG her away bc she wouldn't stop making eye contact w Glinda

Morrible did a full on evil laugh after "change in the weather"

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE

exactly as horny as you'd expect given everything else i've said so far but Lauren REALLY gave it her all on that front

the mom next to me literally said "spicy!" under her breath after "for the first time i feel wicked"

lauren was THIRSTY going in for that parting kiss after the Kiamo Ko invite

CATFIGHT

this is where it all fell apart a little, because Allsun being 2nd u/s just didn't have the chemistry there to pull off all the transitions

she also couldn't quite manage the wand twirl which was a bummer

i think this became a more common move for Glindas in the late 2010s but she went in to touch foreheads w Fiyero after "he loves her" and it killed me

NO GOOD DEED

not nearly feral enough for my tastes sry Lauren.

i will say a lot of this was not her fault, current tour choreo for stages without the trapdoor entrance demands she just HOLD the grimmerie for half the scene before awkwardly handing it off to Chistery and it is very distracting

MARCH OF THE WITCH HUNTERS

noose lady was VERY front and center my goodness

again bc tour Glinda and Boq had to enter via platforms being wheeled on instead of having the built-ins, and for the first time i noticed Glinda's is her Thank Goodness platform. that made me froth at the mouth.

aymee was PERFECT at "you've wanted this from the beginning and now you're getting what you wanted" but kind of undersold "so just smile and wave and shut up" tbh

FOR GOOD

helen has been keeping a timer of how long it takes gelphie to touch after the song starts in earnest at "i've heard it said" and tonight was zero seconds Allsun started out already gripping Lauren's shoulder

and here is where Allsun's deep speaking voice comes in, because it has this thing where instead of Glinda taking the lower harmony feeling like she's changed it feels like she's finally being honest/herself for the first time musically

FINALE

somehow DJ Smart managed to make "M-Miss? Miss Glinda...." sound not only like Chistery struggling to speak but like CHISTERY HAD A LUMP IN HIS THROAT BC HE THINKS ELPHIE IS DEAD TOO

NOT TELLING GLINDA AND FIYERO IS ONE THING BUT ELPHABA HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL CHISTERY

speaking of, Xavier passed on the Chain Of Forehead Touch from Allsun to Lauren at "no one can ever know" he was SO SAD and i prefer that so much to Fiyeros who are strident or chiding

SERIOUSLY ELPHABA YOU DIDN'T TELL CHISTERY YOU'RE ALIVE? GIRL.

anyway at curtain call Lauren made sure to do Big Gesture at Allsun bc she gets to do this So Rarely and i had an emotion

AND THAT WAS MY NIGHT oops this took me two hours to write and i still have work in the morning

oh well, worth it

[thatseventiesbitch]

Well what do you know ... I had one more in me.

I am thrilled to share the original script for S7xE25 "Til The Next Goodbye" with you all. There's lots of Eric/Donna goodness in this script - I was hoping there would be. 🥺

Read on for my summary of the differences between the table draft and the episode that aired!

Jackie and Kelso's scene to start the episode is nearly identical, but there's an added line about the Chicago sports teams that makes me (a transplant Chicagoan) laugh:

The rest of the scene is the same. It ends with Kelso offering to stay awhile and get a burger with Jackie.

Next up we have the scene in the Forman kitchen with Eric, Donna, Red, Kitty, and Bob. It's written a little differently in the table draft:

Donna bought Eric travel books for the extremely nervous traveler lol 🥺🥰 (Also - can I get that series?? Asking for a friend.)

I also like how she pushed back on Kitty here on Eric's behalf, reminding her that her adult son can make his own decisions... well, until Kitty glares at her and Donna ducks behind Eric to get out of the swing zone 🤣

Then we have the scene of the gang in the basement.

In the table draft, Eric isn't worried about his mom throwing him a surprise going away party.

Eric, Donna, and Hyde's cut dialogue here made me laugh out loud. 😂

Kelso's recounting of dropping off Jackie - and Donna's about her calling several times to criticize her outfit - are the same as in the episode. Then Jackie calls, and Hyde's surprised she wants to speak to Eric.

Eric and Jackie's dialogue is a little different (more sentimental, I'd say):

The scene ends the same way, with Jackie asking to speak to Red after she's finished talking to Eric.

The next scene is Fez and Charlie talking on the driveway, and then Eric and Donna approach. Fez tells the story about what a good friend Eric is because he poured soda all over him after he fell into a hole Kelso and Hyde lured him into 🙈. It's word for word, except Charlie interjects a few lines.

It's particularly clear in this draft that their original plan was to set up Charlie to be a regular in season 8 following Topher and Ashton's departure. As I think most of us know, Charlie's actor, Bret Harrison, got offered his own show called The Loop, resulting in T70 writing him off in the first episode of S8 by saying he died falling off the water tower. I am personally in the I-would-definitely-have-preferred-Charlie-over-Randy camp, even though they still might've tried pairing him up with Donna to manufacture angst. This gives me an idea for a What If story. Hmm...

There's also this added exchange at the end of the scene, mocking Fez's sentimentality and manhood 🙄

Next is Hyde and Leo at Grooves, discussing Loud Girl. The scene is word-for-word up until this point:

Leo provides more of his stoned insight: "I mean, you guys fight sometimes but deep down you really care about her. There's no shame in that." 🥰

Speaking of Charlie... here's another scene he had with Fez and Eric, that was greatly shortened in the aired episode:

*Wonders about how Fez's S8 storylines would have been different if Charlie was around instead of Randy* 🤔

The scene continues with this:

Which leads directly into the guys' final circle.

Eric says, "Hey, pass me some more courage!" to start the scene and then they go into the exact dialogue from the episode.

The following scene with Red and Kitty lecturing the guys in the kitchen while they're stoned out of their minds is also word-for-word to what aired. It ends with Red saying he can't think of any worse punishment than sending Eric to Africa, so guess what pal, he's going to Africa!

Hyde and Leo's next scene about Loud Girl, Chicago, and Leo watching the store for him is also nearly identical. I'm not including screenshots because of the image limit.

Up next, Eric and Kelso at the hospital getting their shots. In the table draft, Red came along with them, too. Well, until he heads across the street to get a beer. 😂

Kelso is extra pervy towards Donna.

I prefer their interaction from the aired episode, where she gives him a painful wedgie when he asks her to help him with his pants. 😅

Eric and Kelso's goodbye moment is similar, but I can see why some of the superfluous lines were cut.

I think it's obvious that the show was acknowledging here that both actors/characters would be leaving in S8.

In the draft, Eric and Donna's goodbye scene is next. It's in his bedroom rather than on top of the Vista Cruiser.

I kind of laughed at Fez realizing he crossed a line and that this is too intimate of a moment for him to witness, but I'm just not a big fan of the Fez-creeping-on-E/D-from-closets joke to begin with so, meh. I feel fine that this was cut.

I do love that among Eric's "bare necessities" for the year away are his GI Joe's and Donna's bra (🤣), and also the stage direction that when they hug, "it's obvious that neither of them wants to let go." 🥹😭

But overall, I prefer the scene that aired in the episode.

The scene in the episode is longer, and includes more sentimentality from Eric (he tells her she's his best friend, and that he loves her so much).

It's interesting that they flipped the line, "I'll be back before you know it, and then we'll have our whole lives to spend together." In the table draft it's Eric who says it, but in the episode it's Donna's line.

And finally, I think thematically it makes more sense for Eric and Donna's last scene on the show (theoretically anyway, we all know that Topher came back for a cameo in the series finale but they probably didn't know that then) to be on the Vista Cruiser. It's a natural bookend to their story; it subtly reminds us how far they've come when they reminisce about having their first kiss.

Eric and Red's scene is next. It's very similar, but with a few different lines.

Donna packing crackers so Eric doesn't get car sick on the way to the airport is sweet/wifey of her, but it is that same ridiculous infantilizing of Eric routine that the writers really leaned into in S7 (and eventually T90S, too). 🙄

I liked Red's final line in the actual episode better. "You lose that knife, don't come home," always gets a big laugh from me.

Finally, the goodbye scene on the driveway.

Kitty has, of course, thrown him a going-away party. She has a banner printed, but there's a mix up and it wishes him a "HAPPY RETIREMENT, FRANK!" 😂

Leo's already doing a bang-up job watching the record store for Hyde, *lol*

And there's some more Fez and Charlie interaction, making me wonder - again - how Charlie staying on as a main cast member in season 8 would've changed storylines for Fez, and for everyone else...

Eric and Hyde's scene is very similar, except Eric starts to get sentimental and Hyde immediately shuts it down.

Bob has a surprisingly nice interaction with Eric (before introducing his oompa band). 🙄

Kitty's goodbye to Eric is similar - she hugs him and doesn't let go until they have to pull her off of him *lol*

But I missed Eric's line from the episode about, "I'm really only allowed one carry-on." I wonder if it was improvised.

Just like in the episode, Eric's car won't start and so his friends and family push the Vista Cruiser from the driveway for his series exit. I get by with a little help from my friends, right? 🥹

Now, there is one more Very Important scene in this episode: the one with Hyde knocking on Jackie's motel room door in Chicago.

I hit the image limit for this post so I can't include the last screenshot. But I'll type the last page of the script in case any Zennies wanted to see it:

Hyde: Y'know, okay. (THEN) Is everything alright?

Jackie: Everything's fine. I just didn't expect -

(Kelso enters wearing just a bathrobe and carrying a bucket of ice)

Kelso: I checked and no one can see us doing it from the parking lot.

(Kelso sees Hyde, screams, and throws the bucket of ice in the air. Ice flies everywhere. The moment is frozen until...)

Hyde: You son of a -

(Kelso turns to run out the door. Hyde grabs his robe. As Kelso bolts, Hyde holds onto the robe which peels off Kelso as he disappears out the door)

Kelso (OS): I'm nude!

Fade Out.

It's very similar to what aired, and imo doesn't hold any extra clues as to what Jackie and Kelso did (or planned to do) in the hotel room. The writers left it purposefully vague and open to interpretation.

The tag at the end of the episode is what aired - Kelso running around the parking lot naked, grabbing a fedora to cover his privates, and then running into two attractive women and flirting with them.

Whew, that was a long one! Thanks for reading along with me, @thatseventiesbitch and check out some of the other original That '70s Show scripts I've posted!

S2xE20 "Kiss of Death" S2xE22 "Jackie Moves On" S2xE23 "Holy Crap!" S2xE26 "Moon Over Point Place" S3xE23 "Backstage Pass" S4xE2 "Eric's Depression" S5xE21 "Trampled Under Foot" S6xE20 "Squeezebox" S7xE8 "Angie"

[f4ggydog]

💌 - All of these puppy asks have me thinking of werewolf tmasc Nat,,

He’d push himself extra hard in the wilderness to hunt for you and the team because he says it’s his responsibility bc of his werewolf abilities :(( but it’s obvious it takes a toll on him because you’re all starving and struggling out there.

Acting tough when he rly is just the softest sweetest little misunderstood puppy. Kissing him and his tail swishes side to side cause he gets too excited 😭

(And um. Desperately needing to breed you even if he can’t)

NO THOUGHTS JUST WEREWOLF BF I NEED TO BE HIS PRETTY FEMME

I have written for werewolf nat before but anon asked for this a while ago and for specifically tmasc nat so I shall fulfill!!!

nat doesn’t let his walls down quite easily. he’s not the type of guy up for small talk and he’s never been a dude who dances along the lines of the norm. the dude couldn’t care less about being hated by society. it’s given him a cold exterior that’s frustrating to shatter through at times. but as seems to be the cliche with many supposedly ice cold people, nat’s got a sweet spot that rivals the taste of candy.

he’s relieved that he remembered to pack some of his binders for the trip the yellowjackets were going to attend. at least he doesn’t have to worry about how his boobs look while he’s in the wilderness. it’s a first world concern compared to the predicament the team’s trapped themselves in, but nat could do without feeling extra desolate. he did forget his packers though, so perhaps all hope IS lost.

his tail swishes as he watches you gather firewood. though nat’s already got a heavy bias for you, he’s also appreciative of the fact that you’re also doing your part. you helped him clear out the cabin and make some room for all the soccer teammates to sleep. you helped him practice using a rifle so that you guys could hunt for food and not develop an eating disorder while starved for comfort food. you participate a lot more than jackie, who’s supposed to be the team’s captain. you’d think that she’d allow herself to take on most of the responsibilities, but she seems to be the one complaining the most. complaining instead of pinching in, yapping instead of making herself useful.

nat sighs, sitting by the edge of the lake. he quickly squishes his boobs and immediately convinces himself that they’ve somehow gotten bigger, if that’s somehow possible. he sighs, wishing he could take that axe from the camp and cut them off. he wishes a bear would come and maul him and rip off just the part of his body that he detests.

nat hears footsteps approaching him and he growls, his tail static. then, when he looks behind and sees that it’s you, his tail starts wagging rapidly and his frown turns into a smile. oh, how he couldn’t resist a moment of your time.

“did you find any game yet?” you inquire, kneeling down next to your boy.

“no.” nat shakes his head. “thought we saw a fucking deer earlier. nope, was a false alarm. everything’s just been false alarm after false alarm. and everyone is bitching to me about how hungry they are but nobody wants to go out hunting with me aside from flex.”

“i could always help you out,” you coo, squeezing nat’s cheeks together. “why don’t you let me come with you, pretty boy?”

“because i don’t want you to hurt yourself,” nat replies. “things are already bad enough out here as is. if you got hurt…i don’t know what i’d do with myself. honestly.”

“i think you worry too much about me,” you say. “i think you’re always trying to be a big, strong, tough man all the time and you don’t want to let anyone else in because you think you should bear the burden. you think you have to be alone, nat.”

“well, who else cares besides you?”

“am i not enough?” you tease, kissing along nat’s sensitive neck. his tail wiggles rapidly.

“h-hey quit it,” he whines, playfully shoving you aside. but you pounce back on nat, smooching him all over his handsome face.

“what’s wrong with a guy getting a few kisses once in a while? just cause you’re a man doesn’t mean you’re not worth of affection too, perfect boy. especially with how much you do for us.”

“am i even a man?” nat exhales. “look at my tits. they’re so visible. and my thigh gap is so…feminine. and my hips-“

“it’s your chest,” you assert. “not your tits. not your breasts. your chest. you have a chest, not boobs.”

“i can’t even properly breed you,” nat whines. “if i was born a guy, i would have this cool dick and i’d be able to cum inside of you all the time i want. but i just have this clit that i can’t use for anything.”

“doesn’t make you less of a man baby boy,” you encourage, kissing your ways down to his thighs. nat’s knees get shaky and his tail is spinning from side to side. “just means i get to take care of you. come on, shorts off.”

“why do you even like me?” nat whimpers after each kiss you plant on his pale skin.

“because i know who you are under that facade you put up,” you insist. “you’re a special boy, my man. and i’ll show you that you don’t have to put a knot inside me to be a true man.”

“you sure?” nat’s eyes soften.

“yeah baby.” you nuzzle into him. “besides, once we’re back home, we can always stimulate it with a fake cock. dildos exist for a reason.”

you’ve got a point. shit now, nat’s pheromones are all over the place. he blushes and hides his face, embarrassed by how horny he became in matter of seconds. wow, you really are the only one to get him.

[illbisexual]

Yellowjackets at a party Warnings: Gender neutral reader, swearing, mention of drugs/alcohol & smoking Pairings: lottie, van, taissa, Laura lee, mari, akilah, shauna, jackie, Natalie, misty x gn!reader Proofread: nope ! Note: in all of these reader and the char are together! I am not american so some of the terms may be wrong and I've never been drunk or drank an excessive amount of alcohol so this is probably inaccurate

Lottie

Cigarette and solo cup in one hand, other hand intertwined with your own

She drags you along when she talks to people

Arm round your shoulder CONSTANTLY

She makes you reapply her lipstick for her when it smudges off on her cup

She was at your house before the party helping you decide on an outfit

"I think you should wear this" and she proceeds to pull a shirt out of your closet you haven't wore since middle school "okay fuck off go sit down and be quiet"

Laura Lee

She wears the cutest looking outfits ever like omg

She has her arm wrapped around yours the entire time

Frowns if you even so much as sniff any of the beer n shit

She manages to get your guys' song blaring out the speakers

Proceeds to force you to dance with her and if you don't she frowns and goes to get one of the yellowjackets

Natalie

Oh shes right by the keg

You attempt to share drinks with her (however she drinks at least 3 quarters and then shoves the cup in your hand while she goes to get more)

Gets you to light her cigarette for her

She repeatedly puts her arm around your shoulder and pulls you into her side

Usually takes whatever drugs her friends have got

Can't walk in a straight line when its time to go home

Rubs her eyeliner into a huge smudge and looks like a raccoon

Mari

Shes the life of the party no questions asked

Spills atleast half of her drink because shes jumping around the place

Screams the lyrics to whatever songs playing as she twirls you around

Drags you to the bathroom with her so she can check her makeup and you just watch

This girl is always tripping over her feet I swear

Whenever she loses you she starts screaming like a banshee

"BABE??? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU??" "MARI TURN AROUND." "oh! Whered you go?"

Stands outside the bathroom like a dog waiting for you whenever you go in

Akilah

Gets separated from you so easily like oh my gosh 😭

Shes there holding your hand when youre walking through a group one second and the next shes gone

You then spend the next couple of minutes searching for her

And shes usually over with one of the yellowjackets she had managed to find

"Oh, there you are. Took you long enough" with a smile whenever you walk over

You guys hold hands and spin in a circle like its a middle school dance

Misty

She made you help her with makeup before the party (if she wore any)

spent a while trying to decide on her hairstyle

When you guys get there she clings onto you like a koala bear

Sings out of key with you

She drags you over to find somewhere quiet to sit (granted there's no where super quiet but just one where there isn't a lot of people)

She always needs to have her eyes on you like omg

Jackie

Spends her time doing stupid shit with you

She routinely goes missing from your side

When she eventually returns she sometimes has shauna in tow

However, she always leaves for a reason and its to get gossip

"Babe you'll never guess what me and shauna just found out about.."

At the end of the night shes either spilled her drink on herself, you, or someone else

She somehow ALWAYS ends up losing a piece of jewellery whether its an earring, a ring, or a bracelet

Makes you search for it as she coaches you on where to look

Shauna

Gripping your hand because she doesn't like the fact randy is near you guys (she cannot STAND his ass as we all know)

She trips over herself and drops her cup

Picks it up and walks back to the keg with her head down in embarrassment

Gets gossip with Jackie and then reports back to you

When she drinks enough she starts laughing at EVERYTHING

"Name" "what?" and her ass bursts out giggling

She is so stewpid..

Van

The minute you guys get there her hand is wrapped around your wrist and shes dragging you to get a drink with her

Spends the night making stupid ass jokes

"Hey. 2 goldfish are in a tank together, and one turns to the other one," "..uh huh." "And it asks 'hey, do you know how to drive this thing?'"

She routinely breaks away from you to go say hi/chat with other people

Forces you to dance with her and she spins you around (however she doesnt really need to force you)

Makes you spin her around too

You guys go into the bathroom together and start throwing water at eachother

When you wait outside the bathroom for her she comes out with wet hands from washing them and pretends to sneeze before she shakes the water onto you

Before you guys leave she re-fills her cup for the road 😭

taissa

Endless yapping

Only time she shuts up is to have a drink

When you guys walk she holds your hand and swings your guys' arms 😭

Everytime she finishes a drink she flips the cup around and tries to land it upside down

Which she fails almost every single time

She makes you come with her to say hi to everyone (even if you don't know the person)

You have to make her dance with you but it doesn't take a lot of convincing

By the time its time to go her hair is all messed up and she's lost atleast one accessory (whether its the bandana she was wearing, a necklace, an earring, etc.)

Usually finds it within like a couple minute of searching

[ladystoneboobs]

yeah, nat got an answer on the satphone and that's a big deal, but i think folks are jumping a bit ahead and may need to hold y'all's horses when it comes to thinking they'll get rescued right away in a matter of days.

we know hannah still has to die out there (and prob get eaten)

we know both gen and melissa got 'pretty close' to hannah but so far we've only seen her talk to mel

we know hannah still has to tell melissa about the tape, believing she'll have a better chance of getting home than hannah herself, even tho at present she might have some hope after helping natalie get away with the phone (i do not believe she's already told melissa offscreen bc she likely needs enough trust to reveal evidence of her bf's murder)

we also know gen dies and i am assuming unlike her bestie mel it is an actual death

i think it can be reasonably surmised that our two glorified extras must die too, bc what else are they there for if not to be redshirts? could've just had more die in the plane crash if they wanted to show there were more benchwarmers and the team wasn't just our core girls plus supporting cast with actual speaking lines. (i suppose it's possible gen and the others survive to rescue and then all kill themselves, giving melissa the idea to fake her own death, but i just find that very unlikely.)

and then there's the timeline of 19 months in the wilderness. they left on the plane at the end of the school year (we know bc allie was whining about missing prom) so that means late may or early june '96 which should take us to late dec '97 or early jan '98 for 19 months later. does late dec or early jan really line up with the first canadian snowfall of the season? by my calculations the one which killed jackie was in roughly october--shauna said to be 7mos pregnant 2 months after jackie's death meaning they were only 5 months post-crash the night she died--and that lines up with the ben feast ep being titled thanksgiving (canada) as canadian thanksgiving is in october (thanks degrassi tng!) and the snow falling on natalie happened only a few days at most after that night.

so, yes, i think they've got at least another month out there if not two and a lot can still go down in that time as s2 covered only their first winter out there. mari's death was horrible and how shauna degraded her body made it even worse, but i do not believe she was only days aways from her slurpees and cheeseburgers. and i do not believe she'll be the last yellowjacket to die out there either.

[shotgunsermon]

can we please talk about how DERANGED Shauna is? I loved her in the first two seasons cause she was like an angel with those amazing big brown eyes but now? I think she's the most complex character in the series and, if you ask me, she had a downgrade (the contrary of upgrade? how do you English people call it?) cause she really did go from cute little fawn to crazy bitch. I genuinely am sorry for Jeff and Callie cause it must be so difficult to live and love a person like that, also being like that to Nat? please if I was there I'd pushed her down the pit.

also, really loved the scene at the end with nat using that phone cause it made me think of a scene of society of snow (watch it if you haven't cause it's really an amazing movie)

and lottie my baby, she's crazy but not shauna-kinda-crazy she's cute-kinda-crazy I wanna hug her so much, I miss my little cult leader

dude no shauna is fucking UNHINGED this season and i'm just watching the plane crash and burn (pun intended)

like... oh the changes. not wanting to get rid of jackie's clothes but not letting mari keep her fucking HAIR even in death. making nat (probably hannah since they switched clothes) butcher mari now that she's been promoted from butcher to queen, clearly having some fucked up hierarchy in her head. referring to herself as a warrior as if all that violence and bloodshed was not only justified to her but something she was genuinely PROUD of even 25 years later

also her entire interaction with melissa this ep makes me wanna gnaw on glass... the way she doesn't punish or humiliate her publicly again like she did when she made her piss herself (or how she acts with nat every time she 'steps out of line') but instead leaves her with one statement: i knew you'd turn out to be fucking boring. i knew you'd be too soft to kill me, i knew you didn't have it in you, I KNEW YOU WOULD BE BORING.

shauna has no way to justify what she's doing or why she hurts people so she makes them smaller and insignificant to avoid giving it meaning, or maybe to forego meaning entirely and just leave it as cruelty for cruelty's sake. you're nothing. nobody gave a shit about you until me. you're not in charge anymore. you're boring.

she's always had a violence in her, the wilderness was just a catalyst to let it explode into this horrible all consuming hunger that becomes a recurring motif for her character. shauna taught herself to thrive on the violence because she was encouraged to be violent- in the very first scene where shauna gets the knife and becomes the butcher, when lottie lets shauna beat her to get out her anger, when they had her butcher javi, when melissa told her not to be afraid of the 'bad parts' of herself.

and possibly the most unsettling part of it to me is that even with her infamous (and hilarious) "i don't even like soccer" line, she starts to treat everything out there like a game. shauna says "tough luck" when mari draws her killing card. shauna has the necklace clasping down to a science like she practices it. during the spring they ran fake hunts like they were running soccer drills. she has the rest of the yellowjackets make her a veil and a gown and fucking worship her like she's playing make-believe.

and it is also SO important that shauna doesn't believe in the wilderness and never has, because it means she has no justification for her actions besides her need to fill a fucked up fantasy. and that makes everything she does in the wilderness so much more interesting to me. because it's horrifying. it's disgusting. it's dehumanizing. and when she can finally remember all of that, what's the first thing she says?

we were having so much fun.

shauna shipman crazy girl award of the year. mwah i love her so much.

[good-griief]

Hey! I was wondering if I could request for Van Palmer? Something along the lines of the reader coming to terms with their sexuality?

It’s totally cool if you don’t want to write this request lol also kinda might start sending in asks so im gonna claim am emoji -🍾

sorry this took so long but i'm back and able to write again so here u go! this was getting very long so if u guys like it i'll happily make a part two!!<3

You were never a “talkative kid.” You were never one that could spell words like gargantuan or manganimus. You were never helping with your classmates’ homework or told you were exemplary. Your grades were average; A’s and B’s, but nothing exemplary. 

Though there was one thing you were exemplary at. One thing that if given the chance to write about, you’d always be given the highest score. One single thing, completely apart from the rest that could get you an award for your writing. 

Funnily enough. It was Soccer. You’d gotten an award for writing about soccer. 

You always liked Soccer. Ever since you were little. You liked playing with your friends, hanging out with them. You liked the hugs that came after a big win, the friendships, the relationships. You liked the team bonding. You liked the sleepovers and parties. You liked getting close with the best of the girls because you were also one of the best. You liked the small, intimate group you had, and the small, intimate time you spent together. 

You liked the times where you would have a sleepover and cuddle with one another. Sleepovers where you would kiss to ‘practice’ for boys. Sleepovers that got you so close you were hugging and leaning on each other all the time, lying your head in each other’s laps. 

Sleepovers that somehow dwindled down to you and one other girl by eighth grade. A girl that you’d kiss to practice for boys that didn’t exist. A girl you held hands with at school and took to lunch on weekends with each other’s babysitting money. 

A girl that moved away before highschool. 

You started freshman year without friends, signing up for soccer tryouts and hoping that would get you somewhere. 

You ended up on JV and it seemed the rising sophomore class had already gotten so close that your effort to make friends in soccer proved less than fruitful. 

When you played scrimmages against varsity, the group hardly passed to you and kept it within their small circle. 

There were two girls, Mari and Akilah, who you got along fine with, but they weren’t close, so you had to talk to one or the other during practice which meant you weren’t close with them either. 

That left you in your own little bubble freshman year, floating around. No one really disliked you, but no one knew you either. Not even your own teammates. 

Luckily, though, around winter break, you were asked out. You didn’t really know the guy, but Jackie, one of the sophomores in his grade and on the Soccer team, said he was nice. 

So you said yes. 

And suddenly after a winter break of calling this guy and getting hot chocolate with him, you were in with Jackie… Which meant you were in with Shauna, which meant the ball was passed to you, which meant they started to see how good you were, which meant they started to like you. 

“Hey!” Jackie came up to you, Mari, and Akilah after practice. 

You’d slowly been getting them closer so the three of you could hang out. You figured you could then start passing to them and get them in with the other girls without a whistle-blow from Coach Scott for changing a play. 

“You three wanna come with us? Team bonding?”

“Sure!” You said first, all too enthusiastic and making her chuckle. 

“I have to study,” Akilah said.

“Yeah, same,” Mari said, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Have fun, though!”

“Oh, we will!” Jackie looped her arm through yours as you gave your new friends a look. “Come on. You can tell me all about Mark— he’s friends with Jeff, you know?”

“Jeff?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh…”

“Oh, good! You brought her!” Nat, another sophomore, said. 

“I told you the other two would say no.” Jackie shrugged. 

“Still nice to ask everyone,” Lottie, the only one that’d actually introduced herself to you, said. She also gave you everyone else’s name. Which was helpful since they definitely weren’t going to introduce themselves. 

“Hey,” except maybe one of them, She was shorter, redheaded, and the goalie. She gave you a sweet smile as she held out her hand. “Have you met everyone?”

You took her warm hand, shaking gently and earning even more of a smile. “Lottie,” you gestured to the brunette with your free hand, “told me about everyone.” She only nodded. “Vanessa? Right?”

“My friends call me Van.” You nodded, giving a small smile as you still mindlessly shook her hand. “You can call me Van,” she added with a smirking laugh, eyes darting to Lottie briefly. She had a feeling she told you her name was Vanessa on purpose. 

The brunette was grinning from ear to ear, hands slapping at Nat’s as they both laughed together.

“Van.” You dropped her hand. “I’ll remember that.”

“Oh, I hope so—”

“Leave her alone,” Taissa butted in, laughing. “You can ride with us if you want.” 

“Sure.” You agreed, walking next to Van as the group dispersed. “Where are we going?”

“I think Jackie’s,” she said. “She’s been dying to meet you and shit now that you're dating Mark.” You nodded. “Whole team has, really. You know, you’re pretty good?”

“Thanks, I think?” You frowned. “I’ve played since I was, like, eight.” She nodded along. “You guys are great. I mean, you’re the best high school team I've seen— Van, I’ve never seen a better goalie.” She smiled, shaking her head. “No, seriously,” you insisted when she went to object. “You must, like, study every player or something—“

“She does,” Taissa said. 

You were glad you were usually on her team during JV scrimmage, or it’d be a challenge to get a goal. 

“Insane.” You shook your head. “I can only ever tell if someone’s injured.”

“Oh, really?” Van asked, curious.

“Mhm. It’s pretty easy.” She frowned. “Just check the bench. Works every time.” Taissa stifled a laugh, Van laughing out loud. 

“I thought you were serious,” she laughed. 

“Yeah I could tell. You were all…” You imitated her face, making Taisa laugh. 

“Come on, Tai!” Van hit her shoulder. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

The ride to Jackie’s was spent receiving questions from Tai as Van just listened in or responded to something Tai said. 

There was something about this girl. The way she spoke. The way she looked at you through the rearview mirror, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She was sweet, obviously, but there was something else. Maybe, it was just the fact that she was pretty and red-haired, but something about her was all too attractive. 

In the sense that you wanted to be her friend, of course. 

By the time you got to Jackie’s, the other girls were already there and inside while her parents ordered food for all of you. 

They greeted you from the kitchen at the opposite end of the giant house and told you the girls were “in the parlor”.

“You’ll get used to it,” Van said, walking with you to the living room, which was one of many but clearly the most casual of them. 

“Hi!” Jackie was quick to pull you by her. 

The night was spent getting interrogated, practically, about your boyfriend while you ate pizza and watched shitty movies until people started falling asleep. 

You were up late with Van, who, like you, seemed to enjoy the shitty movie on screen. She grabbed the two of you a board game to play while you watched. 

“So, do you wanna tell me about yourself at all?” She laughed. “I know more about Mark than my new teammate now.”

“Wasn’t really prepared for that one,” you joked, making her chuckle as you took your turn. “Well, all my old soccer friends are at different high schools now,” you said, shrugging. “So if you’re wondering—“

“Why you seem like such a loner?” She interrupted, making you laugh. “I was a little curious.” 

“Jeez,” you laughed. “My best friend moved, like, across the country, and the rest of my friends are on rival teams now… And I’ve beat them all—“

“Fuck yeah, you have!” She laughed. 

You spent most of the night talking with Van, who seemed to have been waiting to talk to you alone. She hardly spoke in the group conversation, but now she was lively and engaged. Maybe it was because the conversation had less to do with your boyfriend, and more to do with you. Maybe because she actually got to know you. You couldn’t tell. 

There was just something about her.

At the next practice, you were getting the ball passed to you regularly, but never close enough to score. 

Maybe because the one time you tried, Van blocked it like it was nothing, but that was weeks ago. 

Which meant you were determined to best her now. 

When Tai passed you the ball, you made a move to get it to Akilah. Just as quickly as you passed it, it was stolen by Nat, but Mari got a read on what you were trying to do and got it back. 

“Mari!” Tai waved, but she quickly passed it to Akilah now that no one was guarding her. 

She passed the ball to you, and as quickly as you got it you were kicking it at the goal without moving from your spot. 

“Ah, fuck,” Van muttered, having been counting on you coming toward her and already moving to the right of the goal. She jumped toward the left to block, but the ball barely brushed her fingers before getting caught in the net. 

“Yes!” Mari yelled, high fiving both you and Akilah when they made their way to you. “That was clean!”

“It was sloppy,” Tai said, coming up to the three of you as the rest of your mock team came as well. “Just unexpected.” 

You nodded in agreement. “A goal is a goal, though.” She narrowed her eyes, huffing a laugh. “That kinda unexpected sloppiness can win a game.”

“She’s not wrong.” Jackie patted your shoulder. “Nice shot.”

“Well, why don’t we add it to the playbook?” Tai said. “Test it out in a real game.”

“Oh, don’t be bitter, Taissa.” Jackie laughed. “She just wanted you to pass the ball to her.” Tai laughed at that. 

For the rest of the practice, you made sure to pass to Tai every so often, the two of you testing out new plays. 

Despite that, Van was determined to block every one of your shots.

More so than anyone else. 

It was to the point that after that one goal, you didn’t score another. 

“Good game today,” Van said in the locker room, hand on your hip as she moved behind you to get to her locker. “You were making me nervous.”

“Me?” You laughed. “You were pissing me off—“ Van cut you off with a loud laugh. “I only got one goal!”

“It was hard to make that happen!” She laughed, and once it died down, she spoke up again. “Do you think you’d want to come to the field early sometime? Practice with me?”

You smiled, nodding. “Of course!” It was the perfect opportunity to get closer with her. Maybe, know more about her. 

To become better friends, of course. 

The first time was that weekend. You came the Sunday after practice, practicing earlier in the morning and getting lunch afterward. 

It slowly became a habit; every once in a while, every other week, weekly…

“Here.” Van jogged over to you as you stood in front of the ball. “You obviously have to turn your hips, but you really give yourself away…” She held out her hands, brows raised. You nodded and her hands went to your hips to readjust. “This is what you’re doing.” She turned you to the right. “So, I always know you’re going left, but…” She turned you to a slight angle, facing the right corner of the goal. You looked back at her and she couldn’t bring herself to get the rest of her sentence out. “I’m not sure how to explain it,” she said, taking a step back. “Why don’t you try goalie for a minute?”

“I’m a shit goalie, Van.” She laughed at that, but you went anyway. 

“Just try and figure out which way I’m going,” she said. 

That day, you spent the entirety of it ogether. It was past lunch by the time you went to the locker room to change, talking the whole way there about your newfound knowledge. 

“Do you wanna get dinner?” You suddenly suggested, both of you in the midst of changing. “We could, like, go out or something?”

She paused, looking over at you as she got her shirt on. “Where do you wanna go?”

You shrugged. “Mark took me to this little diner a few blocks from my place last weekend,” you said and her mood seemed to dampen. “They have everything— it’s, well… Well, it’s not amazing, but it’s cute.”

“Um…” She took a moment, putting on her shoes and taking down her hair. “I’m kind of tired—“

“Oh—“

“Yeah—“

“That’s okay—! No, I mean, that makes sense. We’ve been here all day, so…” You nodded as you got your pants on and slipped on your shoes. “Maybe another time, then?”

“Totally.” She nodded, giving a smile despite the sudden awkwardness that came between you. 

“Okay.” You nodded. “Then, I’ll see you tomorrow—“

“Wait, let me drive you home. It’s late—“

“No, no, no. It’s totally fine!” You gave her a smile as you grabbed your bag. “Mark was going to pick me up, anyway—“

“Oh, did you want to get dinner with him? Like, us three?” You shook your head. “But he’s picking you up,” she said, smirking with a furled brow. 

“I would’ve just told him to go home, or hang out with Jeff and Randy, or something.” You shrugged. Her smile widened slightly, cheeks heating. “That’s kinda shitty, though, I guess.” She then laughed. “Next time we’ll, like, plan, or something.”

“Definitely.” She nodded. “And I’ll take you somewhere nicer than a hole-in-the-wall diner after practice, alright?”

Something about the way she said it made you smile, stomach fluttering. “Alright.”

She walked with you out of the dressing room and to your boyfriend's car. “See you tomorrow?” She said some ways away from the jeep he drove. 

You nodded and leaned in for a hug, arms going around her shoulders. She was stunned for a moment, having not realized what you were actually leaning in for. She gave you a quick hug back before pulling away to go to her car. 

The next day, she was talking to you in the halls, the next practice you were able to get more than one goal, and the next weekend your practice was spent laughing together in the field and dribbling the ball between one another rather than practicing. 

“Oh shit!” Van laughed when it started to rain. 

March had come quicker than you expected. You and Van had been hanging out for just over a month now, but it felt like you’d been friends all year. 

Within minutes of you grabbing your bags, it was pouring rain and you were running to Van’s car. 

“Jesus!” Van groaned as she slammed the door shut behind herself, you doing the same. You threw your bags in the backseat, wiping your faces. 

She started the car, already starting her drive back to your house from memory. 

“Just park in the garage,” you told her. “You can stay for a while.” You then added, “if you want.”

“Is that fine? Like, with your parents?”

“They’re out of town.” She nodded slowly, pulling into the garage. “I can, like, make us dinner or something,” you offered. “If you like pasta.”

“I love some good spaghetti.”

“Great!” You both laughed. “First, we need to shower, and get this shit in the wash.” You looked down at your damp shirt and shorts. 

She turned off the car, and you headed inside. You grabbed both your bags and set them in the laundry room as you went inside, getting off your cleats and socks as well. 

“Here.” You filled the silence and led her up the stairs. “My rooms there.” You pointed to the end of the hall. “I’ll use my parents shower… obviously.” Van chuckled at your awkward speech, nodding. “There’s towels and everything in there. You can just take my clothes.”

“You sure?” 

You nodded. “Just send your stuff down the shoot.”

You took a quick shower before heading to your room in your towel and getting into pajamas. 

You heard Van call your name some minutes later as you lay on your bed. “Close your eyes!” You laughed, covering your eyes. “Are they closed?”

“Yep.” She came in with just a towel. “I totally forgot to bring you clothes—“

“Fuck off.”

“Sorry!” You laughed. “Pajamas are in the bottom drawer.”

That night was spent making shitty pasta and laughing together as you ate in front of the TV you rolled out of your closet. You ended up sleeping in your room, falling asleep to an old movie with dishes on your night and arms around each other.

Since that day, Van had been so much more friendly. 

It was almost insinuating. 

She would touch you to get past you, tease you about a mistake on the field, sneak up and hug you from behind to scare you in the halls. And when she came over, she was touchy and clingy— not that you weren’t. You were often hugging her or lying your head on her shoulder. Hell, you even danced with her if either of you put on music. 

On the field, however, she was awful. During scrimmage, she would go out of her way to make you fuck up. Even if you were on her team. She’d call something, or say something to you during a break that made you fumble the ball.  

It was to the point that even her telling you good luck before a game had you flustered. 

To the point where you fucked up. 

“What the hell?!” Tai yelled at you as you shook your head at yourself. “Get it together—“

The ref blew a whistle for timeout after the other team's score. You groaned, walking over with a frown. 

“What’s going on with you?” Ben asked.

“Are you sick?” Misty asked. “Injured?”

There was a small pep talk you had before you were sent back out. Unfortunately, your boyfriend was sitting with your parents as they watched you fuck up one of your last state games. It only made your nerves skyrocket. 

“Get it together,” Nat told you, placing a hand on your shoulder as she walked past you. 

Van was the last to leave, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Guess we should’ve kept up our practices, huh?” She joked, earning a glare. “Sorry— Look, you’re good. Really good. You’re just being predictable.” You frowned at her. “Think back on that play you, Mari, and Akilah pulled earlier this year.”

When you got back on the field, you did as Van said. You let Shauna, Tai, and Nat get their goals in, but after that you asked Tai to pass to Akilah, who was heavily guarded. 

“What?” She frowned at you. “You’re, like, out of your mind today.”

“Just try?”

As soon as the ball was stolen from Akilah, Mari got it to you, and you back to an unguarded Akilah. When she passed to you, you immediately kicked at the goal. 

“YES!” You heard before you even knew what happened. 

The buzzer sounded, signifying you’d won and leaving you shocked as your teammates huddled around you, chanting: “BUZZ. BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ!”

In the locker room, your excitement continued until you and Van were the last ones there. 

“So, I was thinking,” Van spoke up. “What do you think about dinner this Sunday after our usual?”

“Oh, now you’re nice?” You joked. 

Maybe it’d been left out that you were completely reciprocal in this teasing game. You would go up to her at her locker to scare her like she did you, and of course hug her and kiss her cheek afterward before you went to class, leaving her flustered and wanting to get back at you by the time practice rolled around. So, maybe, you brought it on yourself. 

“Come on,” she laughed. “It’s not my fault I make you nervous.”

“You’re so annoying.” You shook your head. “I almost blew the match because of you.” Her brows shot up. “You were fucking with me before the game with your…” You gentured to her when she looked at you with false confusion. “You know what you were doing.”

She laughed. “Yeah—“

“See!”

“I was just teasing—“

“Well, stop it.”

“But you’re so cute when you’re flustered.” She pouted at you, earning a glare. “Even cuter when you’re mad at me.” She smiled. “Besides, we still won.”

“If we didn’t, they would’ve killed me.” She scoffed. “It’s not funny.”

“You’re actually upset?” She couldn’t help but laugh. “We still have, like, five games—“

“You can’t talk to me before them.” She practically guffawed. “You, like, fuck with with my fucking head. I don’t fucking know.”

“I fuck with your fucking head? What the fuck are you talking about?” 

You groaned, turning to grab your bag. “Goodbye, Vanessa.”

“Hey.” She grabbed your hand, turning you around. 

When she did, you were closer than she expected. 

And that was when it started. 

Her eyes fell to your lips before flitting back up to your eyes. 

That was when you finally realized what that something about her was. 

In the seconds it took you to process when was about to happen, her lips were on yours. Her hand still held yours and as soon as your free one went to her cheek, she tilted her head for a better angle. 

You didn’t know how long you were there. You didn’t realize the time passing. You didn’t even know when it was that her hands found your waist and your other found her neck. 

But you did realize that the door was opening. 

You quickly pushed her back as someone stepped in, Van pretending to have been lacing up her shoes as she sat on the bench. 

“Everything okay, babe?” Mark called from the doorway. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was just helping Van with this turf burn.”

“Shit, is she okay?” He asked. “Should I get Misty?”

“I’m good!” Van called. “Just couldn’t wrap it myself.”

It took a few more exchanges to get him to leave, but eventually the door shut and you grabbed your things. You went to leave, but stopped yourself and turned around. You placed your hand on her shoulder as you leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Come over after practice tomorrow?”

She looked over at you, brow raised. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore, or…?”

“I’ll think about it.”

When she came over, the two of you went straight to your room to “watch TV.” You locked the door behind you, rolled out your miniature TV and put in a tape, and sat down on the bed with Van. 

“Hurry up,” she laughed as she grabbed your hand and pulled you down on top of her. 

You never talked about it. You didn’t discuss what was going on. You didn’t even ask what it meant. 

You just changed your practices to time together. You’d still practice, but you’d also just sit and talk. You’d make out in the locker room before going to get lunch or dinner. You’d hang out with the team and sneak off to have time alone. You’d even just get together. One of you would call and ask the other to lunch, or to go to the mall, or just to come over. There wasn’t a need for the practice excuse anymore, it was just nice to do that, too. 

But you also had to decline at times. 

“Mark wanted to take me to the movies,” you told her one night and you could practically feel her mood shift. “Maybe… Maybe I can get him to—“

“No, it’s okay,” she told you quickly. “Spend time with your boyfriend.” The word left a sour tension in the air. 

“Van—“

“What time’ll you be home?”

“Hey,” you sighed when she spoke over you. “If you want me to, I’ll… I can tell him, but I don’t think—“

“You’re going to tell him you’re cheating on him with your best friend?” She asked, tone disbelieving. “No way.”

“Tell him I want to break up,” you clarified. She was quiet for a moment. “And… We’re not cheating.”

“We’re hooking up,” she deadpanned. 

“But…” You pursed your lips. “There’s no possibility of us… being an us, is there?” Your hopeful question, despite how poorly it came out, was met with another beat of quiet from her end, but she didn’t say anything that time. “I just mean… There isn't a way we could actually be together— at least, not in a real way—“

“In a real way?” She scoffed a laugh as she often did when you misused and fumbled over your words. “Have I been imagining all this, or—?”

“That’s not what I mean.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you started to get frustrated; mostly with yourself and your horrible articulation. “Publicly. Like, I’d never cheat with Randy or Jeff.” She cursed your name, laughing in disbelief as she listened to you try to justify what you’d said instead of taking it back. “This… You and me, is it really going anywhere? Because, if it’s just ‘hooking up’, we could never really be anything, you know? And that sucks, but it’s also, I don’t know, it’s, like, better—?“

“So, let me get this right… You think it's better that you’re with me, because if you were cheating with a guy, it’d actually be real— or no, there’d be a possibility of an actual relationship.” You pursed your lips at the tone of her voice, knowing how awful it sounded. “Is that right?”

“Not exactly.” She hummed, waiting for you to explain. “It’s more like… I’m scared of what people might—“

“I don’t wanna be with someone that’s scared of what people think—“

“Just let me talk.” You sighed, feeling your eyes sting. You’d never been good at articulating your feelings, especially not in this kind of situation. “I’m scared of what people might do because of what they think. It’s just… It’s better if it doesn’t look like we’re anything more than friends—“

“Okay, I’m gonna get off the phone—“

“Van—“

“No— Look… I see where you’re coming from, just… I know that’s not the reason you said it in the first place.” You didn’t argue, nodding despite the fact that she couldn’t see it. “If you want to, I’ll come over when you get home—“

“Okay,” you said all too quickly. “I’ll be home in two hours.” There was a long pause. “If you want to come.”

“Alright.” Click. 

She came by that night, but when you tried to talk to her and smooth things over, she was short. 

“Look,” she said. “I like you. I’m comfortable saying that.” You immediately shut your mouth and listened to what she had to say. “If you’re not comfortable admitting you don’t like guys. Or that you’re using your ‘boyfriend’ as a fucking beard, because you want me, that’s fine. I don’t care. I probably already knew that.” You nodded along. “But I don’t want to talk about it with you, because hearing you say it? That fucking hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” Van shook her head, dismissing it. “I really am afraid of what someone might do…”

“It’s not like I’d let anyone do anything to you,” she said, eyes narrowed. 

“That’s not what I mean.” She sighed, waiting for you to explain. “I’m really not saying anything right in this conversation, I just… My point was that I’d leave him for you, and I was trying to ask you if, maybe, this could be more than this, because I don’t think you want me as more than a friend, so when I say ‘in a real way’ I mean, as more than…” You trailed off, narrowing your eyes at the bedsheets when you began to repeat yourself. “And… I wouldn’t cheat with a guy because—“

“Because you like girls?”

You looked up at her, lips pursed. “Why won't you answer my question?”

She tilted her head. “If we get together,” she started, “and I mean, actually get together. Not go to the mall and meet up at a store. Things are going to change. People will catch on, and they’ll treat you differently. I’m sure you know that, but I don’t think you’re ready for it. Especially not when you can’t even admit how you feel.” There was a long pause, her lips pursing. “Just stay where you’re safe,” she told you. “Stay with Mark. We can keep doing this— I like doing this— and you’re probably right. It’s probably better if people just think we’re friends, so…” She looked over at you, obviously still frustrated. “Why don’t we just move on?”

“Okay.”

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 42 | Part 43 | Part 44

They do eventually get their waffles. Steve had brought her to his favorite diner, even though it’s a little farther away, and the payoff is almost immediate. El gets a waffle the size of her face that’s absolutely smothered in whipped cream and chocolate chips. She digs in with a ferocity that almost scares Steve as he tucks into his own breakfast-for-dinner.

A sudden thought occurs to him, and he leans in to speak to El. “El?”

She looks up at him, eyebrows raised, cheeks puffed like a chipmunk. He chuckles. “Maybe try taking smaller bites. Your waffle’s not gonna run away.” He grins when she swallows and grins at him. “I’m gonna call the house real quick. D’you wanna stay here, or come with me?” He points to the phone tucked into the corner of the diner, in clear view of their booth.

She twists her napkin in her hands, then almost nervously looks at him. “With you?”

“Okay,” he agrees easily. “D’you wanna talk to anyone?”

She shakes her head. “I just wanna stay by you.”

“That’s okay,” Steve promises her. “Ready?”

She nods, and together they stand, moving towards the phone.

He dials the number and waits, widening his eyes comically at El until she giggles.

The phone goes to voicemail, which he expected, so he sing-songs into the receiver, “Hello, it’s me, Robbie, pick up please!”

“Steve!” She gasps after a click and a cacophony of noises that has him wincing and pulling the phone away from his ear a little. El giggles again at that. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Practicing with El at the junkyard. Now we’re getting waffles at Jackie’s.”

Robin groans, and he grins. “Steve! You traitor! That’s my favorite!”

“Robin.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re being dramatic.”

She gasps. Dramatically. “I am reacting appropriately to something of this magnitude, Steven!” She hisses, but she can’t hide the smile in her voice. God, Steve loves her so much.

“We’re okay, Robs,” he says quietly, like somehow it’ll say everything he wants to.

Based on the way she gets quiet, too, Steve thinks she knows exactly what he means. “I’m glad.”

“We’re gonna finish eating then go practice a little more. We’ll be home after that, before sundown. Promise.”

“I’m holding you to that. I will find your nailbat and bring it if I have to.”

“Jokes on you,” he says, “I already have it.”

“Fine, then I’ll bring Nancy and her guns,” Robin responds. “And probably Wayne. The guy’s really cool. And he can shoot.”

Steve chuckles. “How’s he holding up?”

Robin sighs. “About as well as can be expected. Better, actually, I think. I think maybe at this point he’s seen so much shit that nothing surprises him anymore.”

Steve snorts. “I know how that feels.”

She hums, distracted. “Sure,” she says, then addresses Steve. “Alli wants to talk to you.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Bubba,” comes next, and he’s smiling before he realizes it.

“Hey, Al. How’re you feeling?”

“Fine. Terrified. Pissed off. Ready to tear him apart with my bare hands.”

“I think if we’d had you last time, we would’ve won.”

“Oh, definitely,” she says flippantly. “Listen, Bubba, can I offer you some advice?”

“Sure.”

“You and Eddie. Whatever you are, whatever you want to be. Don’t wait, okay? Say something. Tonight, preferably. Just- we’re all gonna make it, I know we are. But I don’t want you to regret not saying something when you could’ve.”

Steve’s heart clenches, and he tugs El in gently to envelop her in a one-armed hug. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “I will. Promise.”

“M’kay. Love you, Bubba. Be safe.”

“Love you. I will.”

The line goes dead, and he places the phone back on the hook.

“Steve?” He looks down at her. “Are you okay?”

He chuckles roughly. “Ask me again tomorrow, kiddo.”

They finish their food—El cleans her plate so thoroughly Steve is convinced she must’ve snuck away to wash it, and tells her so, resulting in another giggle—and head back out to the junkyard. “We don’t have much time,” he tells her as he parks again. “I told Robin we’d be home before dark. But this should be enough time to practice a little more. Whatever you felt earlier, whatever was in your chest keeping you company. Try to find it again, and draw from it, okay?”

“Okay,” she murmurs, looking out over the cars again.

He looks, too, and thinks he sees something, but by the time his eyes pan over the spot again, it just looks like a car. He plays it off as nerves and a trick of the setting sun and does his best to relax, so he’s not interrupting El at all.

He keeps his eyes peeled, and contemplates grabbing his bat from the trunk, but ultimately decides against it. He doesn’t think the demodogs would come out during the day.

Suddenly a demodog jumps on top of a car in front of them, and another appears to their left as two appear to their right, and Steve has time to think, famous last words, before it all goes to shit.

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[ultrone]

Is there any way you can write something for Jackie? Maybe something where she just gets comforted through everything she was dealing with out there and finds a safe space with the reader. I dont know if that’s enough to go off but i trust you’ll do amazing, as long as its Jackie content lol I am a Jackie Taylor apologist

𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗧 𖥔 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇

cw. S1E10 spoilers (this fic is based on that episode), mentions of fighting, just fluff

wc. 3.4k approx

n/a. tysm for your request, i really hope u like it <33 u didn’t specify if u wanted it to be platonic or romantic, so i did romantic by default, however, i added the romantic stuff kinda at the end of it so that u can skip it if u want to :)

Ever since the plane crash, the weather had been the same, with the sun always shining and the breeze feeling warm—until tonight. The air was calm, but it carried a biting cold that made you shiver. As you breathed out, a faint cloud of white vapour appeared, a sign of the freezing temperatures. It wasn't very noticeable, but it was there, reminding you of the intense chill that surrounded you on this night.

It had been around two hours since Shauna and Jackie had their big fight. All of you were aware that they had been having some issues for a couple of weeks now, but honestly, none of you paid much attention to it. Sure, there was some tension, but nothing too dramatic. You all just let it slide, thinking that maybe it had to do with Jackie struggling to adjust to the new home, unlike the rest of the team who adapted more quickly and lent a hand in every possible way. Shauna and Jackie had been your best friends for a few years now, ever since you met them during soccer practice. Since then, the three of you became inseparable, hanging out almost every day after practice and having sleepovers at Jackie's house every weekend. Deep down, you always sensed a hint of jealousy from Shauna towards Jackie, even though she never explicitly said it. But you never thought Shauna would go as far as sleeping with Jeff… and now everything made sense. You cared a lot about Shauna, she had been there for you in many ways, especially when you needed help getting over your crush on Jackie when she started dating Jeff—or at least she helped you stop thinking about her as much. But this time, Shauna had crossed a line, and you found yourself in a difficult situation because both of them held equal importance in your life.

You were lying in your cozy sleeping bag, pulling the blanket up to your nose in an attempt to ward off the cold. Only your eyes were visible, peering out from the warmth. Your gaze was fixed on Shauna, who was positioned near the window, her attention directed towards Jackie. She was situated outside, seated next to a small bonfire she had managed to ignite, casting a warm glow in the darkness.

"Just go talk to her," Tai urged, noticing the heartache etched on Shauna's face.

Shauna shook her head in silent refusal, her gaze lingering on Jackie through the window for a few more seconds before finally making her way back to her sleeping bag, preparing to settle down for the night.

She was incredibly stubborn, but you knew that beneath that facade, all she wanted to do was to rush outside, hug Jackie tightly, and say how sorry she was. But knowing her, you knew that it would take her a while to gather the courage to apologize. Tonight, at least, she had decided against it.

The night grew colder with each passing moment, and even from the comfort of your snug blankets indoors, you could feel the penetrating chill seeping into your bones. The thought of how freezing it must be for Jackie outside weighed on your mind, compelling you to go out and convince her to come inside. Initially, when the fight had just erupted, you refrained from going after her. You knew Jackie was the type of person who appreciated someone chasing after her and urging her to come inside, but you also knew that she was very upset—I mean, she practically called out everyone in the room for being lunatics (which, honestly, was completely true)—and you believed it was best to give her some space.

Before setting off, you locked eyes with Shauna. It had been a while since you last spoke to her, ever since the heated argument had unfolded earlier that afternoon. You conveyed a mixture of disappointment and understanding through your gaze. And with that unspoken communication, you began your descent down the stairs, taking each step slowly and cautiously, ensuring not to disturb any of the girls asleep downstairs.

You gingerly turned the creaky doorknob, easing the door open and stepping out into the frigid night. As you closed the door behind you, the stark difference in temperature hit you. It was considerably colder outside, and you couldn't fathom how Jackie had managed to endure the cold for so long. There she was, right in front of you, sitting huddled with her legs pulled close to her body. She wore her yellowjackets jacket and had wrapped herself in a blue blanket, shielding her from the biting chill. Facing the crackling bonfire, she trembled visibly, and you could even see the wisps of white vapour escaping her mouth, despite standing a few feet away behind her.

With each step you took, the dried leaves crackled under your shoes, breaking the silence of the night. The sound startled Jackie, jolting her out of her thoughts. She turned her gaze towards you, relief washing over her face as she recognized your familiar presence standing beside her. She then returned her gaze back to the crackling bonfire, silent and without uttering a single word to you.

"Jackie," you called out softly, your voice tinged with concern. "It's really freezing out here. You should come inside."

As you made the suggestion, Jackie continued to ignore you, her attention fixated unwaveringly on the flickering bonfire. Sensing her resistance, you added softly, "Please-" but before you could finish your plea, she interrupted you with a hurt tone.

"Did you know?" she questioned, her voice filled with pain and vulnerability.

You immediately shook your head, denying any knowledge of the situation. Determined to bridge the gap between you, you slowly approached her, taking a seat beside her.

Her eyes met yours, searching for understanding. "I love Shauna… but I love you too," you confessed softly. "And you know I would never hide something like that from you."

She let out a heavy sigh, her voice laden with sorrow. "I know you wouldn't. I'm sorry..." Her voice trailed off, tears welling up in her eyes. "I just can't believe she did that to me. She was my best friend."

You were at a loss for words, unsure of how to comfort her. The truth was, you were just as shaken as she was. Witnessing her in such anguish tore at your heart, and the knowledge that she was facing this pain all alone shattered you. Slowly, you reached out and gently caressed her back, observing tears streaming down her cheeks. As she gradually relaxed under your touch, you instinctively wrapped your arm around her, drawing her close. She found solace in your embrace, resting her head against your shoulder.

"Shit, Jackie, you're freezing," you exclaimed, surprise and concern evident in your voice. Holding her tighter within your arms, you tried to provide whatever warmth and comfort you could.

Racking your brain for something that might bring her comfort, a spark of inspiration lit up in your mind. Leaning in closer, you whispered gently, adjusting your position so she could meet your gaze. "Hey," you murmured, using your thumb to delicately wipe away some of her tears. "Remember that walkman you were trynna fix the other day?" you asked, a glimmer of hope in your voice. She nodded, sniffling and rubbing her runny nose in response.

Reaching into your pocket, you retrieved the carefully repaired walkman. "It was meant to be a surprise," you revealed, a touch of excitement in your voice. "I spent the entire morning fixing it. And guess what? It works now," you announced proudly, a wide smile spreading across your face. The sight of her teary eyes sparkling with happiness only made your smile grow even more.

With careful hands, she took hold of the walkman and pressed the power button. To her pleasant surprise, it sprang to life, functioning perfectly. "Oh my god, thank goodness," she uttered, a genuine smile gracing her lips. It was a smile that stirred something inside you, causing a gentle flutter in your stomach. Untangling the earphones from around the walkman, she placed one earphone in her ear and extended the other one toward you, offering you to take it.

"Thank goodness? You should be thanking me," you playfully teased as you inserted the earphone into your own ear, trying to bring a smile to her face. She chuckled, nudging you with her elbow and softly muttering 'shut up' as she pressed the play button.

📻 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 cry, cry by mazzy star

With the music enveloping both of you, a sense of solace settled in, the proximity of your bodies providing warmth amidst the surrounding coldness.

Breaking the silence, Jackie's voice carried a tinge of disappointment as she voiced her concern. "Do you think we're ever getting rescued?" she questioned, her hope waning. "I'm starting to lose hope. We've been here for months."

Pausing for a moment, you contemplated her words before responding honestly. "I'd like to believe that we will," you began, your voice tinged with a hint of melancholy. "But if I'm being completely honest, I'm losing hope too."

"I can't do this anymore, y/n," Jackie admitted, her voice cracking with raw emotion. She curled up, pulling her legs close to her body as if seeking comfort. "Back before we ended up here, everything felt good. I mean, I knew I wasn't the star player on the team, I'm not delusional. But being the captain and being able to uplift everyone, it made me feel special, you know? Like I could be relied upon, like I could be a leader," she confessed, her voice quivering with vulnerability. "But here... I just feel so... useless. I feel like I'm a burden," she cried, tears streaming down her face. "It seems like everyone else adapted so quickly. Nat and Travis go out hunting, Misty always knows what to do when someone gets hurt, and for god's sake, even Shauna became some sort of expert butcher. Everyone's doing something, and I just feel like I'm the only one who doesn't want to accept this reality." Her words hung in the air, the weight of her insecurities palpable.

As she continued to pour out her frustrations, you listened attentively, acknowledging the weight of her words. "And to make everything worse, now I've lost one of the most important people in my life," she lamented, her thoughts consumed by Shauna's betrayal. With a disbelieving chuckle, she added, "But you know what the worst part is? It's funny, I used to pretend I didn't know I loved Jeff, when the truth is, I didn't even like him that much," she confessed.

Her emotions intertwined with anger and resentment as she expressed her newfound realization, “and I’m so mad at Shauna, but now I realize, she’s right,” Jackie affirmed, her words laced with a certain conviction. “Our friendship doesn't matter. Love doesn't matter. They're just things that we use to pretend that we aren’t gonna end up like that dead cabin guy, like rotted-out husks in some bullshit attic,” she spat out with resentful anger. "Of course, that's how it ends. That's all we are the whole time. It doesn't matter. We're just empty shells with nothing inside."

She fell silent, her gaze locked with yours as if searching for a response, a reaction. “So, fuck it. Fuck everything and everyone,” she concluded, her voice filled with a mix of anger and resignation.

With her powerful declaration hanging in the air, Jackie returned her gaze to the crackling bonfire, her eyes reflecting a complex mix of emotions. The flames danced and flickered, casting an ethereal glow on her face. The silence enveloped both of you, punctuated only by the crackling of the fire and the distant sounds of nature.

You took a moment to absorb her raw emotions, looking at her with genuine concern. "Wow, um... Look, I get what you mean," you began, trying to gather your thoughts. "I know it's been tough for you to adjust here. We all see it, and I get why some of the others might have been tough on you. It's a messed-up situation we're in, you know? I mean, our fucking plane crashed, it's not something we can just brush off and move on from. And yeah, it may seem like everyone's moving on fast, but the truth is, we're all scared shitless."

As you held her hand, you felt a slight easing of tension in her furrowed brows. "I’ll help you find something to do, yeah? Maybe not skinning animals like Shauna does," you joked, coaxing a small smile from Jackie. "But seriously, I can show you how to wash clothes or chop wood, or we can find something else you enjoy. I promise we'll figure it out together." You assured her, your own smile conveying sincerity and reassurance.

She gazed at you with eyes filled with a mix of emotions, listening attentively to your heartfelt words. "And let me tell you something, Jackie. You're far from being an empty shell. Seriously. I mean it," you emphasized, your voice filled with sincerity. "You're genuinely one of the kindest people I've ever met, and I'm not just saying that because we're best friends. It's the truth." You continued, “Remember that time at a party when Tai, Shauna, and Nat were all at each other's throats after Tai accidentally broke Allie's leg? Literally, not even ten minutes later, everyone was laughing and happy again, and it was all thanks to you," you recalled, a soft smile playing on your lips.

Jackie's smile grew, her cheeks turning a subtle shade of pink as she remembered that moment. "You really think so?" she asked shyly.

"Absolutely," you replied earnestly, meeting her eyes with unwavering sincerity. "You're amazing, Jackie, truly. And I want you to know that. You bring light into people's lives, including mine."

Her smile widened, gratitude shining in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice filled with genuine appreciation. "It means a lot to hear that from you, especially right now."

📻 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 Seventeen by Sharon Van Etten

The familiar melody filled the air, and Jackie's face lit up with happiness. "Oh my god, I love this song! It's been forever since I've heard it," she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Memories flooded back of those times when she would blast the song in Shauna's car, the two of you belting out the lyrics while going to school. As she unplugged the earphones from the walkman, the music swelled, reaching a volume that allowed both of you to enjoy it without disturbing the others.

Jackie rose to her feet and extended her hand towards you, a playful glimmer in her eyes. Without hesitation, you clasped her hand, and she tugged you closer to her, starting to dance around the crackling bonfire. At that moment, all your worries seemed to fade into the background, carried away by the whimsical gusts of wind.

As you danced and spun with Jackie, enjoying the carefree moment, something caught your eye. You looked up and couldn't believe what you saw.

"Holy fuck, it's snowing!" you blurted out, your excitement evident in your voice. Snowflakes were falling from the sky, landing gently on your clothes and the ground around you. It was unexpected but absolutely magical.

Jackie's face lit up with a big smile as she looked up at the snowflakes. She grabbed your hand, pulling you closer as you both continued to dance in the snowfall. The chilly air adding to the thrill of the moment.

After an hour of dancing, the energy began to fade, and both of you collapsed onto the now snowy ground, feeling the cold seep through your clothes. Looking up at the sky, you were captivated by the sight of countless twinkling stars, their beauty shining brightly.

As small snowflakes gently landed on your faces, you turned to glance at Jackie, finding her already gazing at you with a gentle smile. The cold air made your breath visible, but the warmth in her eyes made you feel cozy inside.

She shattered the serene silence, her voice piercing through the calm air. "Do you know when I realized I never actually liked Jeff?" she asked. The unexpected topic left you both curious and confused, and you furrowed your eyes, silently urging her to continue.

"It was the night before the crash, at the party," she began, her voice tinged with reminiscence. "I remember seeing you with him, dancing together, laughing uncontrollably. It was all platonic, obviously. I knew you would never have that kind of feelings for him. But still, I couldn't help feeling jealous. At first, I thought it was jealousy towards you, for dancing with him like that. But I was wrong," she assured, her tone filled with certainty. "I was angry because you looked so fucking beautiful and happy. Seeing you laugh like that with him instead of me, it shattered me," she confessed, her words heavy with emotion.

You were left speechless, unable to fathom that Jackie, of all people, would ever express such feelings to you. Before your thoughts could fully process what she just said, she continued speaking, her voice barely faltering.

"I tried to ignore it, blaming it on the alcohol. 'I was just jealous because of Jeff,' I kept telling myself," she explained, her words tinged with self-reflection. "But it hit me right after the plane crash. All I could think about was you, finding you and knowing you were safe. And when I saw you unconscious on the ground, drenched in blood, all I felt was regret. Regret for not telling you how much I love you, that I’m so fucking in love with you. And I-"

​​Before she could finish her sentence, you seized the moment, crashing your lips together. It was a tender yet desperate kiss, one that you had longed to share with her. You lied to Shauna, pretending that your feelings for Jackie had dissipated, but in truth, they had only grown stronger.

The kiss lingered for a moment, filled with unspoken words and years of pent-up emotions. As you finally pulled away, you gazed into Jackie's eyes, searching for confirmation that what just happened was real.

Jackie's expression mirrored your own. Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, "I never thought... I never imagined this would happen."

You mustered the courage to express what you had suppressed for far too long. "Jackie, I've loved you for so long. I felt like absolute shit when you started dating Jeff, but my feelings never truly faded. I've tried to move on, to convince myself that we were just best friends, but I just couldn't do it."

"I love you, Y/n," Jackie whispered, a gentle smile gracing her lips as she delicately ran her fingers through your hair.

Feeling a surge of warmth in your heart, you couldn't help but respond, "I love you too, Jackie. So much." Leaning in, you planted a tender peck on her lips. "Let's head inside now, yeah? Before we catch a cold."

Jackie nodded in agreement, her eyes sparkling with affection. With your hands entwined, the two of you walked back to the cabin, leaving the chilly air behind you.