#but i am not ready to bring that up to my therapist yet. i only JUST convinced her i didnt have a warriors phase | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mlmarint · 4 months

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so here’s my thoughts about the “daddy issues” thing with the whole anti tommy shit

you guys are such fucking hypocrites

i would be totally on board with someone bringing that it’s not okay to sexualize someone’s trauma if that was the case. but guess whaaaaaaat???? THATS NOT THE CASE. and it’s not “terrible dialogue” either, there’s so many scenes with terrible dialogue in this show, but some of you should really stop and ask yourselfs WHY you didn’t like this one.

if eddie was the one to make a comment like that some of you’d be OVER THE MOON. i’ve NEVER seen ANYONE in this fandom talk about how a LOT of the buddie explicit fanfics have a daddy kink on it. and before any more comments, i REALLY HATE buddie fics with daddy kink because it always reminds me of christopher and do NOT want to think about christopher in that moment.

“that’s not the problem. the problem is that once again buck it’s with someone who doesn’t care about his trauma” oh grow the fuck up.

tommy LITERALLY decided to not date buck because he thought buck wasn’t ready for it, he gave buck his space, he at first didn’t want to go to maddie and chimney wedding with buck because he thought buck was acting on impulse and wanted him to take his time to be okay with who he is, and after he was sure he tried his best to be on time to his date.

and also!!!! buck is a little “freak” in bed guys, he was a literal sex addict in season 1. every now and then the show reminds us this (like the ring cutter scene), also this is the second buck’s relationship with someone who’s like older than him. i wouldn’t be surprised if buck has a canon daddy kink because GUESS WHAAAAAT some people who have daddy issues??? THEY HAVE DADDY KINKS!!!!!

but you guys wanna know what i truly think?

i think that some of you (these tommy antis) are only here for buddie. you’re not here for the show, you’re here for buck and eddie. you’re not here for all these amazing characters!!! you’re not here for the fact that buck being a bisexual man discovering that side of him in his 30s its one of the most important things that happened in this show when we’re talking about lgbt+ characters and the importance of having something like that to be on media.

you’re not here for bi buck, you’re only here if this means that eddie will be with him. you’ll won’t be here if they decide to give a eddie queer discover story non related to buck on season 8 (and i truly think we’re going that way).

you only liked buck and tommy when you could sexualize two man kissing.

if you want to talk about something that is not okay that tommy did why don’t you rewatch the older episodes he’s in? he wasn’t a nice person back then and honestly i would like for them to bring that up!!! for them to show how a person can change and grow out of their prejudice and realize that they don’t need to be an ass and be okay with who they truly are. in fact why don’t we talk about how they hinted the fact that tommy didn’t like who he was when he was working with gerard? that he doesn’t like gerard and that he was a toxic person and that tommy grow up with a racist, homophobic and sexist dad???? that’s why he wasn’t a nice person back than but he’s different now and he’s a proud gay man and that once again that’s a nice thing to have on media because it shows how it’s NEVER too late to come in terms with who you are and change the way your are for better????

tommy isn’t perfect (and no one that he hurt before seems to actually care about it cause he did truly changed), but that doesn’t mean you need to cancel the guy FOR ONE SINGLE comment!!!! part of the 911 team made fun of buck for being sexually assaulted by his therapist but no one canceled them for it, did they?

honestly i am so fucking tired with fandoms in general.

at this point i hope we don’t get buddie being canon FOR A LONG TIME cause i want you guys to suffer with tommy and buck being in a happy relationship.

just remember: eddies it’s not canonical queer yet, there’s hints of it and they probably are going on that road with the whole thing they’re saying on interviews, BUT buck IS BISEXUAL and HE IS dating TOMMY you like it or not and it’s by far the most healthy relationship he EVER had in this show, can’t you be happy for him????

you can be a buddie shipper and still enjoy bucktommy because what we should truly want more than anything it’s buck and eddie to be happy with who they are.

and I SAY ALL THIS BEING A BUDDIE SHIPPER FOR YEARS

#tommy kinard they could never make me hate you #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 show #eddie diaz #ryan guzman #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buddie #bucktommy

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tarotwithavi · 2 years

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what effect do have on others?

My Masterlist ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ paid services

Disclaimer : for entertainment purpose only .

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 1

I am hearing the word LOVE~ it's either that you make people feel loved and make them love themselves. You inspire people. Like really there's something about you that makes people feel extremely positive. Wow, I really admire you guys. I'm getting that you might be the therapist friend? You inspire people to do what they love and follow their passion. You follow the motto that nothing is impossible . Idk why but I'm getting that when you do something others go like " If pile 1 can do this, I can too" . Your energy makes people want to change like they want to change for the better . You may have an earth moon.

And I'm also getting that you make people fall in love with you. People fall in love with your personality and how you carry yourself . People may get attracted to you just because of your beauty but they fall in love with your personality. You are the perfect combination of beauty and brains. You're very self disciplined and you pamper yourself. I'm getting that you make people come out of their shell. you might have go through a lot or endings and may get tired around a lot of people . You are a social butterfly on the outside but an sleeping bag at home lol.

If you wonder why you attract only messed up people and the people who are mostly depressed trust me man I don't know too 💀 #webothmessedup . Jk it's because you are healed and you trigger those who are not healed yet . You might attract a lot of energy vampires or toxic people. So please protect yourself and your energy.

And one last thing,

YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY AF. like I was trying to not type it but I couldn't control myself.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 2

I'm hearing the word Luck for this pile. You bring a lot of luck in other people's life. Like there could be black clouds and thunderstorms everywhere but then you enter the room and BOOM sunshine and rainbows everywhere. Its funny how I'm trying to explain this. But one thing you make people speechless. You might even look different from the people in your area or just that you have a very unique aesthetic that no one in your are has. You might even speak two or more languages and people find that amazing.

T, O, M, R, A I'm getting these initials for some reason. Wait, they make AMOR which mean love in French . Maybe some of you are learning French or just have some sort of connection with France. I'm getting that you might give French artist vibes to people. It also makes RAM which is the name of one hindu God. Let me know if you see more words . You might have a lot of knowledge about different cultures . Also it's random but you look good in blue or shades of blue. Are you a middle child? Just asking.

Okay a lot of tarot readers in this pile , so hello to the tarot readers of this community! Honestly this pile has some abilities with tarot or could become famous in tarot community. Also you're very mysterious to others , they want to know you more and what's going inside your head.All I'm getting is Knowledge, intelligence, brilliance, a lot of intellect. You guys have a lot of unique and weird ideas . Sometimes you brain makes people go like "are you serious rn? " . You are always thinking about new things and you might over think a lot. Pile 1 and 2 are giving siblings vibes.

One last thing

YOU LITTLE WORKAHOLICS AND PERFECTIONISTS PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF SOME REST!!! It's okay to be lazy sometimes.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 3

Sjjsjsjs this group is femme fatal , if you don't know what that is, google it up. But yeah people tend to put you on a pedestal. People are ready to worship you like literally, they are ready to bow down to you. Because ya know you focus on yourself and never give other much of your time and keep people wanting for more. And that makes them obsessed with you. But this burdens you because you don't want this. You just want to work, earn, enjoy. Just to let ya know , two boys are extremely obsessed with you.

You make people fall for you at the first glance. I'm hearing " You're one you're two✌" . You are their first and you're their second. There's no one who has the same amount of charm as you. Even the people who look emotionless and reserved will fall for you. You fill their heart with love till it overflows. And they can't control their feelings for you. They feel instant connection with you.

K, L, W, V are the initials I got for you. You embody the Girlboss energy. Like the rich CEO who is also pretty AF. You guys are filled with confidence and know your worth and that's very ahem hot to others. You're also very grounded and don't like to show off. A lot of you could be leo. I just heard Dove, you might like dove or just give their vibes.

One last thing

Stop being so hot all the time Momma 😫💀 . Alright that was weird but I hope you get the point ;)

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

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azaleaniath · 2 years

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👯‍♀️time to pull the infinite request card (i promise to not abuse it)

“I don't like you and I don't want to like you.” arranged marriage-ish prompt if you don't mind

Give me angst with Neteyam or Ao'nung idk i want to cry tonight as usual 😨😨🥶 up to you if you want it to end happy or not 😚 Please and thank you 🙏💙💙💙💙

alright babes, time to get your therapist on the phone. It's only 900 words but these 900 words will, guaranteed, make you sob.

~ NETEYAM X FEM!OMATICAYA! READER ~

Nothing can bind us

includes: arranged marriage, lots and lots of tears, angst, rejection

SFW

900 words

____________________

"Ma 'Teyam!" you called your mate when you saw him, a big smile decorated your face as you spotted him through the woods. But it seemed as if he hadn't heard you at all.

You followed him with quick steps while he walked away faster.

The sound of your voice only stressed him out already.

"Wait, please!"

"Lo'ak is waiting for me, i need to go."

Lately, he rarely found time for you. Maybe he was just stressed from his clan leader tasks and duties, you thought to yourself.

He called his ikran while he pathed away with quickening steps.

Still following him, you picked up the pace as well.

"I need to talk to you darling, i have wonderful news for you!"

You tried to reach out for his hand but as soon as the two of you touched, he jerked away quickly.

His reaction made your stomach turn, yet you didn't think that much about it. Maybe he just wasn't successful during his hunt in the morning and it had frustrated him?

"(Y/N), not now. I'm not in the mood to talk now."

The fact that he called you by your name worried you. When was the last time he did that? You couldn't even remember.

"But I need to talk to you now."

The feeling in your stomach only got worse at his annoyed growl before he muttered "yeah, we actually do need to talk."

His ikran shortly arrived, landing close by. He rushed to his companion reaching out for his queue.

He did not look at you and yet you could tell exactly that his face was laced in distress.

"What's wrong, love? Ma 'Teyam, talk-"

As you reached out to his shoulder he pulled away abruptly, his face twisted as if he was disgusted by your touch.

"Don't call me that."

You inhaled sharply, feeling the world around you break apart. The air seemed too thick to breathe for the moment. Your eyes began to burn as you just stood there, staring at him in solace.

You held a hand to your stomach, the other one to your throat that felt as if a rope was tightening around it more and more. His ikran roared as Neteyam connected his queue to it, getting ready to mount it.

"What?"

His ears twitched at the sound of your cracked, whispering voice.

"I can't do this anymore."

You did not understand. What was he saying?

"Ma 'Teyam, what's-"

"I just told you to stop that!"

Every muscle of your body tensed even more at his harsh voice which brought you closer to your tears.

"But I love you, we-"

"I can't do this anymore, don't you listen to me?!"

He finally looked at you, now that you wished he wouldn't. His eyes seemed to loveless, furious almost.

You swallowed at his words, not knowing what to say or do. The look he gave you tore your heart apart.

"I've tried everything to love you! I tried to fall in love with you, tried to be happy with the decision our parents made for us, but I can't! I don't feel anything when I look at you!"

There it was. The words you hoped you'd never hear, words that only appeared in your nightmares.

But now that he started, everything spilled out of him like a drop of water that turned into a riptide in seconds.

"I liked you like a friend at most. But I can't bring myself to mate with you! Just thinking about spending my life with you, it doesn't sit right with me one bit! I don't want a future with you and I never wanted a future with you! I am so sick of your face, I wish I would have spoken up sooner about this stupid arrangement!"

By now, your eyes weren't just wet. The tears that rolled down your cheeks rolled uncontrollably, they did not cease to fall.

You couldn't do anything but just stand there and cry, shivering.

Neteyam mounted his ikran, the look in his eyes did not change one bit even as he saw how you felt your world crumble and turn into dust, instantly blown away from the wind.

"The best news you could have for me is that you found someone else. This... situation, between us, it doesn't work and I don't want it to work. I can't hide it any longer. Nothing can bind me to you, not even my parents."

"Nothing?" you breathed out amlost silently, tasting the salty tears on your lips.

"Nothing. I'll talk to your parents and apologize to them for having to reject you, but-"

"You can't do that." you huffed under your tears, clenching your arms tighter around your stomach. It felt like you had to throw up from his rant alone.

Now that he had finally spit it out, his eyes seemed even more loveless, almost as if he was disgusted my the mere sight of you. He didn't have to pretend anything anymore, and it relieved him.

"And why is that?"

You couldn't even tell what exactly you looked at. While only staring into the air blankly, you quietly mouthed the words, that appeared in his nightmares as well.

"I'm pregnant, Neteyam."

________________________

taglist: @luvlykrispy

@zatarias-pandora

@vviolaswrld

@yeosxxx

@lilgurlbeoncrack

@philiasoul

@ch0nky-child

@itszzmoon

@simp4ff

@itsnotme02

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kunasthiast · 3 months

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Sanctuary

Life comes by so fast that you just can't process everything all at once. But even when a year already passed, have you already come to terms with it? After all, acceptance is the last stage of our grief, right?

a/n: i am soooo sorry for the long wait and for this new one sksksk – i've been rotting reading and watching angsty stories that this is one i've came up with! but but but, i'll make sure to publish the ones i've been promising to publish by this week haha i just finished my junior year in uni & everything's just been so stressful wOAH

okk enough about that, i hope you'll enjoy this one <333

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: angsty, No Curses!AU Word Count: 1,679 All characters are of age.This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

Life just gets the better of you sometimes. Drag you through the mud, not knowing when you can resurface from all those frustrating emotions. It’s just heartbreaking.

But, when we’re in our worst, it’s when we meet the people who’ll stay with us. Yet, the worst thing about this is that they’re only temporary.

He was the best person that ever happened to me. He was there when I was in my lowest of the lowest part of my life. He was my sanctuary. He was the the one that got away. He was my red. He was my everything.

Until he wasn’t.

—

This was the last section you wrote in your journal from years ago. Looking back on it, you realized a lot of the memories, unsaid feelings, and regrets you’ve had in that part of your life.

Closing the journal, you stood up from the chair you’ve been sitting on for the past hour. This is ridiculous, why am I reading this again? You thought.

A ring tone from your phone cut your train of thoughts. Walking towards your phone, you saw a missed phone call from your pink-haired nephew. With a sigh, you hit the call button to ring him this time around. You unknowingly shed a tear as you get lost in the phone ringing.

When your nephew’s voice came through the line, it brought a small, bittersweet smile to your face. “Oh, good thing you called me back, auntie!” Yuji’s voice really brings brightness and cheerfulness everytime he speaks, a stark contrast to your somber mood. Getting no response from you, he continued, “I just wanted to ask you what time you’ll be going today? Oh, and if you’d like me to have a sleep over there at yours this week?”

You released a soft chuckle at this and looked at the clock hanging above your doorway, “Sure, I’d love to have you here with me, Yu! I’ll be there by 3PM.” You walked towards your bedroom to pick out the clothes you’ll be wearing for today’s occasion.

“Okay, gotcha on this, auntie! I’ll give the fam a heads up, so we can catch you there,” Yuji cheerfully said on the other end of the phone, leaving you give off a small smile. “I’ll hang up now, see you there, Yu.”

As you dropped the call, you went back to looking for the outfit you’ve been planning on wearing for the past few days now. You changed into your outfit and got ready before picking up your car keys, leaving your house.

Driving through the familiar streets, nostalgia came crashing like a tsunami. All bittersweet and vivid, everything just happened so fast that until now you can’t process it properly. You’ve never seen the therapist since then as well. What have I been doing? This thought lingered to you heavily.

The afternoon sun cast long shadows as you pulled into the parking lot, taking a lot of moment and breath to ready yourself before stepping out of the car. The weight of the day pressed down on you, yet you still forced yourself to move forward, knowing that this visit was something you needed to do. To accept it.

Threading the path towards Sukuna’s grave, his laughter echoed in your mind. The bittersweet memories of him talking about how you’ll both die of old age. Yet, in this lifetime, he went away early just a year ago.

As you reached his headstone, you knelt down and placed the bouquet of flowers you had bought earlier. The sight of his name etched in the stone was a painful reminder of the reality you are still struggling to accept.

“Hey, love, it’s already been a year,” you whispered as your voice was trembling. Your eyes began to blur as tears formed and dripped down your cheeks. “I miss you a lot.” The wind rustled the leaves, as if the world was offering a gentle response to your words. Knowing that it’s fall, your and his favorite season, you watched the leaves gently fall around you. You knelt there in silence, letting the memories of your husband wash over you. The days you spent together, memories of the love you shared all came rushing back.

Sukuna was always red, the liveliest color you’ve ever known. From his personality, his joy, his laughter, his teases, his jokes, his dreams, his kisses, to his love for you. Everything’s red. The liveliness caught onto you when he first met you at the park, when you were at the lowest of your low. When he offered you an ice cream out of nowhere. It’s a bit strange to accept that from a stranger, sure, but you were not in the moment to deny this comfort food. And he just sat there in silence as you both lick onto your ice creams. It happens everytime he sees you at the park, until you’ve both started talking with each other. He became your sanctuary for years.

Yet, in the blink of an eye, Sukuna became blue. Everything he once was turned to blue. And it all happened just a year ago. His sudden absence left a void that you couldn’t fill. The vibrant red color that he embodied faded to a somber blue, marking the moment he was taken from you by the world. He made your world bright and colorful.

Looking at his headstone, there is an overwhelming sadness mixed with the beautiful memories of your husband. The pain of losing him was still so fresh, but so was the warmth of the moments you shared. The way he would laugh boisterously at your clumsy self and corny jokes, the way he would hold you close as if you’re going somewhere, and the way he would whisper sweet endearments in your ear – these memories were all you had left.

“You know, I still think about why did it have to be you, love. It may sound bad, but why couldn’t it have been the other driver?,” you murmured as your fingers traced the letters of his name etched in the cold stone. This thought lingered in the air, unanswered and haunting. The accident that took him from you was so sudden, so unexpected. But then again, there is no accident that isn’t sudden, right? The questions plagued you for months until now. What if he had taken a different route? What if he had left a few minutes later?

Cutting you from your deep thoughts, you heard someone calling for you. “Auntie! I’m here,” Yuji called out as he came running towards you. You looked at him, and well, tears had to show up again since Yuji resembles your husband a lot, considering that he was his uncle. His pink hair, the shape of his eyes, even the way he smiled – it was as if a piece of Sukuna still lived on through him.

Yuji reached you and gave you a tight hug, his youthful energy and warmth momentarily lifting the heavy weight in your heart. “I brought flowers,” he said, holding up Sukuna’s favorites, chrysanthemums.

“Thanks, Yu,” you whispered as you took the flowers and placed them beside the ones you brought. Yuji knelt beside you, his presence comforting. “I miss him too, you know,” he said softly. “Even with the constant teasing, he always takes me out for my favorite pastimes and telling me all sorts of tips and his cool stories in boxing.”

You nodded, tears blurring your vision again as you remember just watching Sukuna tell Yuji stories everytime your nephew sleeps over your house. Those nights always ended with your husband playfully wrestling Yuji, their laughter filling the air. “Yeah, he was always there for you,” you softly said.

“Your the reason we didn’t decide to have a kid, you know? He used to say how you were just too naughty,” you jokingly added to lighten up the mood. Yuji laughed at this, his eyes twinkling with the memory.

“He really said that?” Yuji asked, a grin spreading across his face.

“Every time you left,” you replied, smiling through your tears. “He’d always talk about how much he enjoyed having you around. You were like the son he never had.”

Yuji’s laughter faded into a thoughtful silence, and he placed a hand on your shoulder. “He meant a lot to me too, Auntie. He was like a second father.”

You both sat there in silence for a while, the wind rustling the leaves around you. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm, golden glow over the cemetery. The pain of losing Sukuna would never fully disappear, but having Yuji by your side made it a little more bearable.

As the day turned to dusk, the sky painted in the hues of pink and orange, you felt a gentle peace settle over you. Breaking the silence, you finally said, “He always believed in living life to the fullest, he wouldn’t want us to be sad forever.”

Yuji nodded, his cheerful and bright face turned to a somberly one. “Yeah, he’d want us to keep going. We’ll get through this, auntie.”

“Thanks for being here, Yu,” you said softly as you squeezed his hand. “Anytime, auntie,” he replied with a steady, reassuring, and comforting voice.

“I’ll see you again soon,” you whispered, placing a kiss on your fingertips and pressing them against the cold stone. Standing up, you both took one last look at Sukuna’s headstone. The wind blew gently, rusting the leaves once more, as if in agreement. You brushed off the dirt from your clothes and gave Yuji your car keys. Walking back to your car in silence, side by side with Yuji, the weight of the loss seemed a little lighter.

In your heart, you know that Sukuna will always be with you. That he’ll be guiding over you. He will always be there with his ice creams, laughs, kisses, and hugs in your memory.

Despite this loss, you know that in another lifetime, it will always be you and him, growing old together.

#sukuna x reader #writing #jjk #sukuna x you #jjk x reader #au sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna #mention of yuji #mentions of character death #yuji itadori #jjk yuji

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fang-and-feather · 5 months

Note

Congratulations on your follower milestone!

Can I request Theo and the prompt "If you solve this I'll buy you lunch" prompt?

Thank you!

Thank you!! 🥰 I didn't expect getting here, but I am glad to celebrate with you!

Ikemen Vampire - Theo x Reader

Words: 3,577

Summary: The biggest proof Theo could give of trusting you were right about Vincent's safety when you tried reassuring his worries. But proving him you were right and could be trusted was a great responsibility, and the architect of such mystery wasn't making it easy for you? Or was her? And was this needed proof the only secret you were about to uncover?

Tags: Some Canon Divergence, Fluff, a bit of Romance at the end, Getting Together, First Kiss

Request from my 100 Followers Celebration. Prompts for it were from @anyfandomfluffbingo

Not planned as a birthday fic for Theo, but posted just in time for it so: Happy Birthday Theo!

(it was in fact planned to be paired with Vincent's birthday fic - and I finished neither in time - so the fic timeline is off for Theo's own birthday)

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

It wasn’t often that you had the opportunity to just sit in the dining room and enjoy a peaceful breakfast.

You always had an early, and sometimes rushed, breakfast, either before helping Sebastian serve breakfast as the other residents woke up or, most often, because Theo was in a hurry to leave for work, to which he often took you along.

Maybe you would take advantage of the beautiful day, find a nice spot in the garden, and finally read the books Vincent’s girlfriend left with you.

Or maybe you would head to town, do some window shopping, and stop by the cafe you had been meaning to visit for a while now. And maybe you could bring one of the books along. It was from Comte’s library, but he wouldn’t mind, would he? As long as you were careful with it.

But a dark cloud thundered on the horizon, threatening to rain over your sunny mood.

The name of that cloud was Theo, and by the thundering footsteps, loud enough even on the carpeted floor, his mood was as dark as the rain clouds, and with Vincent having gone out and Arthur busy writing, the problems that soured his mood would certainly rain over you.

And you had a good idea of what these problems were. The woman who had shown up about a week before, and whom Vincent introduced as his girlfriend. Apparently, they had been dating for a while, but it had been the first time Theo had ever heard of his brother having a girlfriend, and he immediately distrusted her.

Of course, he didn’t dare complain in front of Vincent. Not after his first few warnings were shut down. So it was you who had been subjected to his angry outburst the first time, until you calmed him enough to remind him that if Vincent had really fallen in love, that was a good thing.

Besides, although you had not dared say so to him then, you really thought Theo was exaggerating and being too quick to judge. Maybe because, for overprotective Theo, nobody was good enough for his brother, and anyone who dared try was targeting him because Vincent was an innocent angel that could see no evil in anyone.

You thought Vincent was more than capable of discerning bad intentions. He just chose to trust people. And his girlfriend was a little suspicious, yes, but whatever she was hiding seemed to be personal. Maybe something about her past or family, but not anything that would pose a danger to Vincent. You had yet to find a way to prove it to Theo, though.

And now you were likely in for another round of playing therapist.

Maybe listening to the same signs as you, Sebastian stepped out of the kitchen almost at the same time as Theo stormed in.

“You are quite late, Master Theodorus. I will have your breakfast ready in a moment.”

The only acknowledgement Tho gave Sebastian was a short grunt. You weren’t given even that as he roughly pulled the chair next to yours away from the table, and sat down, making the wood creak.

Finally opening the other hand that had been balled into a fist the whole time, Theo tried to roughly smother the crumpled piece of paper over the table.

By the way Theo glared at the paper as if he could set it on fire if he stared hard enough. It seemed to be the source of his foul mood, but when you peered at it, all you saw were lines.

Was it a sketch? A rough draft of an abstract painting? The lines were delicate and full of small curves and details, but they didn’t seem to form a definite shape. Or maybe you just weren’t looking at it the right way.

Theo looked equally stumped by its form or meaning. But maybe it just wasn’t finished. Why was he so determined to figure it out and so angry that he couldn’t?

You leaned over the table and closer to him, greeting in a loud, cheerful tone.

“Good morning, Theo!”

“Do you have to be so loud first thing in the morning, Hondje?” Theo groaned, rubbing his temple.

“Sorry, but you should rest if you’re not feeling well. Stressing will only make it worse.”

“Why shouldn’t I stress when Vincent didn’t come home yesterday? And I found this in his room, with my name written on the back, but that’s not Vincent’s handwriting. This must be a map to where she took him.”

You didn’t even need to ask who was “she”. There was only one person he would be so suspicious of, although you were also used to Theo being very rational. You forgot that, when it came to Vincent, Theo was a different person.

“So you think Vincent was kidnapped?”

“Why else would he just disappear without saying anything, or at least leave a note?”

“They left this. I think they just went out on a date. I mean, it’s Vincent’s birthday. Isn’t it normal to want to take your boyfriend on a date on his birthday? Maybe his girlfriend just signed the wrong paper by accident.”

In fact, you knew Vincent had gone on a date. You caught him leaving, and he made you promise not to tell Theo. But it wasn’t a problem if Vincent was already at his destination and Theo thought it was just your guess, right?

“Someday all that trust will get you into trouble.” Theo sighed. You were about to protest when he added in a softer tone. “Maybe I should really put a leash on you to keep you out of it.”

You used to complain about those kinds of comments, even if you knew Theo was joking, which led you to bicker a lot in the early days. But you knew how to read between the lines by now. And not only was he telling you that he cared enough that he wanted to keep you safe, but also, by the way anger seemed to slowly leave him, that he trusted you.

Could you be more in love with that man?

At first, you thought he was insufferably rude but, as he dragged you around to work, you started to see his inner kindness hidden by his harsh manners, as well as his passion for art and his loyalty to the people he loved. Only to start naming the things you discovered to love about him.

And he was handsome, to boot. While the house was full of pretty guys, you had to admit that, by looks alone, Theo was the one who caught your attention the most.

Theo had slowly made his way into your heart, and by now, he had taken permanent roots there. Yet, you were uncertain if he could feel the same way about you. At best, you wanted to believe the two of you had become friends.

And you would enjoy what you had while it lasted. You had to go back to your own time pretty soon, anyway. You just wanted to believe you could make Theo’s life a little better until then.

“Hondje!” Theo called loudly, and heat quickly rose up to your face as you realized you had been staring while lost in thought.

“Sorry. What did you say?”

“That little hondjes who don’t pay attention to their masters get punished.” He gave you one of his usual devious grins, and all you could think about was that he must have gotten back to his usual self, which was great.

“It wasn’t that!” You protested.

“I said that, even if you’re right about the date, this paper still holds some sort of secret. Vincent wouldn’t just leave without saying anything. And since you are so sure of yourself, then you should solve it. You two seem very close. ”

The paper was almost shoved in your hand as Sebastian set a plate piled high with pancakes in front of Theo, besides a big bottle of syrup and a glass of Rouge.

You cast a tense glance at Sebastian, your accomplice in Vincent’s little escapade, but the amused glint in his eyes informed you he had been listening and he was not going to be of any help.

As happy as it made you to know Theo trusted you enough to feel like Vincent was safe when you said so, you had no idea what these bunch little lines had to do with anything, and you didn’t think you could extract any answers from them.

“Theo, I…”

But you were shut off by a forkful of pancake drenched in syrup being shoved in your mouth.

“Do I have to keep that mouth of yours full for you to stop barking, Hondje?” He asked in an amused tone before using that same fork to feed himself, making your cheeks feel even hotter. “But fine. I won’t leave you without a treat. If you solve this, I will buy you lunch. If you do so before lunch, that is.”

Now that was a tempting offer. Going out for lunch with Theo sounded almost like a date. He’d taken you to eat out before, but it was always because he thought you were hungry or deserved a reward after work. You had never gone out exclusively for this.

You knew that was not how Theo meant it, but you could dream for a while, right? It would be a nice taste of what could have been. A precious memory to carry back when this place became nothing but a sweet dream.

“You know, it would be so much easier to figure something out if you hadn’t crumpled it this much.” You grumbled, trying to smother the paper.

Why did he ever think you could solve this, anyway? In fact, it was most likely that, now that he wasn’t worried anymore, he wanted to enjoy his pancakes in peace.

Should you leave and study this somewhere else? No. You would enjoy the company unless he told you to leave.

Your second impression of the mysterious paper, now that you could examine it up close, was the same as the first. The lines were too well done to not have a purpose, but at the same time were made of random patterns and didn’t seem to create anything discernible.

But not all art was straightforward, so you refused to let that be your final verdict.

You ran to your room to grab some supplies. You used a pencil to ‘color’ the areas between lines to get a better view of what you were dealing with. It made the picture look like some sort of pattern, which was some advance, and also served to highlight the form of the lines, making them look even more suspicious. Who drew patterns with such random lines?

The most telling result, though, was that it highlighted a few weirdly blank spots that looked like small arrows, indicating some form of direction around the pattern. At first you thought these were just flaws from the paper being all crumpled, but there were too many and all of them had roughly the same shape and were always close to the line.

Casting a side glance at Theo, you realized he had taken this time as his turn to stare at you, with a mix of amusement and… was it pride, in his gaze and smile? But as soon as you tried to get a better look, he turned back to his pancakes as if nothing had happened.

Now using the magnifying glass Theo had gifted you to take a closer look was a different story.

Whoever drew that knew what they were doing and wanted to complicate the life of whoever tried to decipher its mysteries.

It was easier to identify individual patterns like this and where they were repeated. They looked almost like letters now. It looked somewhat familiar, but wasn’t any language you knew.

That was too hard. Why would the person who left this for Theo - you were basically agreeing with him that it had been Vincent’s girlfriend - wouldn’t have left some sort of clue for him?

You closed your eyes and let out a small sigh, and Theo turned back to you.

“Giving up already, Hondje?”

“No. It’s just difficult. At least you were right. There is some sort of message here. I just need to find some context to start.”

What did you know about your new friend?

Nothing much, to be honest. You bonded through books. That was all it was.

Then something clicked in your mind. Books! What if the clue wasn’t left with Theo, because she expected for someone else to solve it for him? That person was you, and the writing looked familiar because it was in the books she left with you.

Running back to your room one last time, you quickly sought the books, finding similar writing on the first few introductory pages of the first one. Pages you had looked through just yesterday.

You hadn’t thought much of it at first because everything surrounding this house was strange and mysterious. These were books from the future, but it wouldn’t be the first time one such book made its way into Comte’s library. It currently housed all of Dazai’s books, who technically wasn’t even born yet, and Leonardo had told you they just showed up one day. The only difference was that the author of these wasn’t one of the residents. But who could prove there weren’t more books like these in the library? Maybe Leonardo, if you asked him, otherwise, you doubted anyone could know the full contents of a library that size without some sort of catalog.

But now that you thought about it, she had said something that had given you pause when you received the books. Something about you already having formed an opinion on reading it or not. As if she knew you had seen these particular books before.

You did read it before, in your time, and knew where to find answers.

You picked a new paper and, using the arrows to figure the order it was written in, started to translate it.

Curiously, it was written in English, adapted around some parts that didn’t translate well, which made it difficult to guess some words, but you were confident in your accuracy, given the context of the words you were sure of.

“I thought you had given up and ran away, hoping I wouldn’t catch you.” Theo spoke, leaning against the doorframe.

“Why do you sound like you wanted that to happen?” He smiled and so did you. “But I actually solved it. And it’s definitely not a ransom note.”

“What does it say, then?”

You weren’t sure you wanted a part in this game between Vincent’s girlfriend and Theo. Was it better to let him read it on his own?

“Spit it out, Hondje.”

Whatever. Not like the resulting translation was your fault, and Theo would understand that. So you took a deep breath and read it aloud.

The note basically complained about Theo’s obsession with Vincent, as it informed him that, because of it, she had decided to sneak out so they could go on a trip together. It didn’t explain why the cryptic message, but it informed she had left a more normal note. Theo just found this one first and got too focused on it.

To you, it sounded like she wanted him to find this note and give him a little of trouble, as some sort of revenge prank for the way he was acting.

And she had handed you the books with the solution, making you the only one who could solve the mystery. As if she knew, or at least hoped, Theo would go to you for help. As if she wanted to force him to.

Did she realize your feelings for Theo and wanted you two to interact more? Or was she just trying to push Theo towards the closest woman so she could have more time with Vincent without overprotective Theo getting in the way?

No. You knew little of her, but she wouldn’t just push people together without thinking there was some sort of relationship there. But it could be because you and Theo were friends, and she knew Arthur was too busy.

Theo swore in Dutch, from which you only understood the word cat, which you had no doubt he considered an insult, given his relationship with felines. The rest sounded awfully familiar, though, and although you didn't know the specific meanings, you knew they weren't exactly friendly words.

“She better not think that will get her off the hook. That’s why I don’t trust her.”

“Do you want to know what her secret is?” This little mystery had also given you a few clues for an entirely different answer, in a way that it felt like she wanted you to realize it. So there was no problem to share it, right? “Would that make you feel better?” You asked, before he could launch into a tirade of complaints about the girl. “I found something quite interesting during this game.”

“I don’t think it will help, but what is it?”

“I will tell you after lunch.” You couldn’t help grinning at him and adding: “If you behave.”

Instead of complaining, Theo grinned back, and stepped closer until he stood right before where you sat, forcing you to look up to see him, your eyes slowly trailing over his body. He was always such a great view from any angle, but there was something quite teasing and tempting from this point.

“Aren’t you cheeky today? What if I make you tell me right now?”

You gulped, your heart thundering in your ears with the way he looked down at you.

But the spell was quickly broken as Theo stepped back, his smile softening, and patted your head.

“If you wanted me to take you on a walk after lunch, you could have asked. You have been quite useful today. I will let you have it your way for now.”

Behind Theo’s typically weird phrasing, it sounded more and more like a date. Like he meant it as one, even though you knew there was no way.

“Don’t give me hope, Theo.” You thought, trying to keep your delusions to a minimum, enough so you wouldn’t give up your way home. Even though your recent discoveries were threatening to do so already.

Theo stepped back and pulled you to your feet, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you close.

“Are you doubting my intentions, Hondje? Do you think I would take just anyone out like this? That I would trust just anyone when it came to Vincent? I am only interested in owning one other dog besides King. So be a good girl and stay.”

Before you could say anything in response, Theo’s lips were upon yours, his other hand moving to the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair, as he kissed you with such urgency that it made your head spin. And you returned it with the same passion, a hand also tangling in his hair, the other around his neck, your hold on each other the only thing keeping you from collapsing.

Even at his best, Theo was powerful and relentless like a storm. One you were more than glad to be swept into the eye of. Even when he pulled away, on the brink of drowning you in his passion, the storm didn’t quiet. And you didn’t want it to. Now that you had his attention, you refused to let go of him.

But Theo released you and stepped back. You sighed, struggling to calm the storm that had overtaken you. The smile he gave you was softer that you had ever seen, and as your eyes met his, he reached out and tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, but he pulled away almost immediately, a glint in his eyes you had never seen either, but that lacked the softness of his now faltering smile.

“I’m not going anywhere.” you finally replied. “As long as you’ll let me stay with you.”

“Good.” Theo turned away from you. “Now let’s take you out for lunch before I get hungry and decide to devour you instead. I’ll met you by the gate in fifteen minutes.”

As Theo left, you let your body collapse back on the bed. What an exciting day it had been. And you hadn’t gone through half of it yet.

So that was the start of his bloodlust threatening to take over that you noticed and that made him practically run away. An unnecessary proof of his attraction to you. Theo hadn’t really said he loved you, but his actions spoke it loud and clear, because Theo would never kiss someone like that without being serious about it.

You couldn’t believe it. After all the time you spent fretting over whether it was worth facing rejection or leaving without telling him of your feelings, that he returned your love.

And you couldn’t believe it took some external push for you to get to this point. You would have to do something to thank her later. But for now, you had less than fifteen minutes to get ready for your date, and you wanted it to be as perfect as possible.

Tag List:

@violettduchess, @tele86, @nightghoul381

@natimiles, @bicayaya, @eventinelysplayground

@2-lines-and-a-circle, @specters0rd, @vampiricpancake

If you want to be tagged/untagged on future writings, even if it's in specific contents, you can reply to this post or send me a message

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

#Fang's 100 Followers Celebration #anyfandomfluffbingo #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo #ikevamp #fanfiction #ikevamp fanfic

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tervaneula · 4 months

Note

Okay i got an emil notification about your NQK update before your tumblr post?! Now that surprised me!

It's like 1 AM and i don't think leo is the only one with Insomnia - ngl i felt that am getting called out 😂 - So we start and i think because it's been a long time friend the previous NQK chapter i really forgot that F!Donnie is now " Donatello " whil F!Mikey js "Michaelangelo" and brain was flipping between "huh? Is that the youngest or the eldest?!"

So we start right off with with F!Dee getting jealous and boy oh boy i believe little ol' Donnie will find this exciting and more of a "parent figure approval" 😂

The talk goes to the bandana and i kid you not i remembered previous fics where some F!Leo/s had either put the other masks as a nice accessory ir put it on his sword and just hung it there as a memory (forgot the fic).

So this makes me think of "How F!Leo would make of the bandanas AFTER he make peace with decades of war?" It really makes me excited thinking about it 🤩

Also it made me think - don't know if i asked before but - does F!Leo still can open his portals and travel? (I know in other fic he can but what about the Canon fic NQK?).

It's kinda sad how Leo's still holding on to the masks but still understandable because well... It's been decades of WAR! That can't be just brushed under the rug with a nice few months in the lair. So until F!Leo finally decided when he can " move on " he deserves to keep the masks with him...

F!Leo hugging ghost!F!Dee was so sad and somewhat... Bittersweet? Because he's glad he can see/talk and almost hug his twin but that's about it, he wants to be greedy and have the two of them, april, his dad back home but that would be too much (And am sure he would be worried about 'Don't push your luck' type of quote or he may lose everything).

But AHHHHHHHHH AM SCREAMING FOR THE ART PIECE YOU MADE! SURE IT'S SAD BUT THE COLORS AND ART STYLE IS REALLY WARMING ME UP AS IF IT'S - again - A BLANKET!! I LOVE THIS FEELING 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Then que F!Mikey entering the chat (lmao ngl thought that was little mikey) and took a pic lol!! I don't know if he can take picture of ghosts but imagine if you can use mystic power or ninpo to see ghosts in the picture?! That would be awesome, F!Dee & F!Raph would mess with so many people.

And then here comes Dracum entering the chat 🐐😂 MF i can imagine him entering the room with sandal in hand ready to beat F!Mikey up especially after hearing "I used it to lift a blanket up" 😂😂😂

But it was so surprising to me when be gave him a "therapist" card, from the color purple i thought it was from either Donnie or 🤢 Big mama 🤢

But god i love a soft carrying dad draxum like my next door neighbour! Always welcomed 🩷

That's all for my review for the chapter! It was such a great treat since it's been a while! Am still gonna keep my eyes - and phone - open for any updates because LORD I LOVE NQK🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

LMAO YEAH that's because I really wanted to publish the chapter that day but was already crashing when I posted it, so couldn't make a Tumblr post until the next day 😂

Hehe we'll see what Leonardo will do with the masks! First of all, wash them, probably :D He has a weird relationship with all of his keepsakes, re: the Raph-like prosthetic arm. He doesn't want to get rid of them but seeing them also still hurts, despite everything :')

Yes NQK Leonardo can use his portals!! He just hasn't had a reason to do that in the main fic (yet 😎)

God. Fug. Dang dude. "Don't push your luck or you may lose everything" legitimately made me tear up. That whole paragraph contributed, actually. "HE WANTS TO BE GREEDY" like ajkhjdsfhj how dare you (/aff) hit me with an emotional bomb like this all of a sudden. He does. He wants all of his family, he doesn't think it's fair that only three of them survived, and this brings us back to the enormous guilt he feels for not being able to save everyone.

Donatello is there with him, not in flesh but literally in spirit, he can be hugged and talked to, but Leonardo wants him to live. It's so freaking heartbreaking. I as the author have the power to bring him his family back, in flesh and blood and bone, but like I said ages ago, that's not what NQK is about. It's about accepting loss and healing and finding happiness, and about family and love. They can't change the past any more than what they've already been graciously given, the only way is forward. ;_;

BUT THANK YOUUU for liking the drawing, it makes me go 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so bad jdfhj (and to make it worse, I made a different version which I'll post here later)

Ninpo ghosts show up in photos normally!! At least in NQK universe they do 😂 Too bad for Donatello, can't do all the crime if he can be caught in 4K

Soft caring dad Draxum ftw<333

THE THERAPIST CARD. Oh my gosh Draxum does NOT trust Big Mama one bit, rest assured, and Donnie has no such connections. No, the light purple colour is actually referencing... drum roll... THIS GUY

Yes Tev is now a yokai and a part of NQK universe but no, she won't show up in the fic so no worries about me actually bringing in non-canon characters. "Leonardo Goes To Therapy" is not a chapter I want to write, nor sprinkle in the appointments in detail, so it all happens off-screen 😂

Thank you SO SO SO MUCH again for reading and spending your precious time writing this comment!!!! It made me so happy but I'm a little sorry that this reply got so long and rambly XD ANYWAY ILYSM

#Of course I'm Leonardo's therapist in-universe. I'm the one giving him his happy ending after all #fic: not quite kintsugi but close #tervdraws #tevvie

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mim1alix-16 · 4 months

Text

1 - The Frost of a New Beginning

This is an 18+ dark!fic that will contain themes of violence, non-con, stalking, and mental health. I appreciate comments and reblogs. Follow to stay tuned with my fics.

Note: I'm terribly undecisive, so I re-wrote this chapter...HELP!

The small office was a haven of warmth against the winter chill outisde. Soft lamplight bathed the room in a golden glow, reflecting off the polished mahogany desk where a neatly organised piles of notes lay. Paintings of cats with their kitttens hung upon the walls, a pot of tea placed on a smaller table to brew, along with two teacups. You adjusted the cushions on the armchair where your next patient will be sitting, glancing at the clock momentarily. You were a therapist, with a specialty and passion in treating veterans. James Buchanan Barnes was due any minute, and every session with him was a step into a labyrinth of shadows and shattered memories.

You returned back to yout desk and reviewed James’ files once more. Born in Brooklyn, New York, he was presumed dead after falling from a train on a mission, but was soon discovered to actually be the Winter Soldier, a highly trained and deadly assassin. His psychological profile was long and detailed and James was probably the most complicated patient you had worked with so far in your career

A knock sounded at the plain white door, which was painted in pastels and flowers from the inside, but plain white from the outside, prompting you to turn away from your computer. James entered the room, a mix of vunerability and latent danger, with haunted, steel-blue eyes and dark, spiky hair shaved at the sides. You gave him a warm smile ‘Good morning, James!’. The veteran shuffled in quietly, almost like a soldier still on a mission, and sat with a sign on the sofa, gruffly returning your greeting.

‘So…bring me up to speed, how has life been? Done anything interesting lately?’ He dug his chin further into his chest, his boot tapping against the carpeted floor.

‘Not really. I’m still looking for a job…it’s feels a little embarassing to be living off of the money Steve left me, so I thought it would be best to take some agency in terms of that. Also, the nightmares still keep coming back.’

‘I’m happy to hear that you’re trying to steer your life in the right direction, but reciving financial help isn’t anything to be ashamed of, especially if it comes from someone who you were quite close to in the past, James. Could you please provide more detail about what happens in these nightmares?’

James shudders and shifts in the armchair. ‘I’m not quite ready yet’.

You nod in understanding and type into today’s report; James is a slight more responsive than previous sessions, and responds to questions on occasion.

‘Only snippets…flashbacks here and there. I remember how cold the cryogenic chamber was, the pain and the realisation that my entire left arm was gone…before I must’ve blacked out. Sometimes…I think and feel like a danger to others’. As James recalled his memories, you realised he was spacing out, his eyes drifting towards the floor of your office, and then he went silent. You pushed for him to mention something else, but his quietude prevailed.

‘James, that thought sounds quite distressing, do you have any evidence against this?’

He struggled, his brows being drawn together as he focused.

'I see…let’s work on restructruing these thoughts. If you fin yourself thinking that you are a danger to others, how would you reframe that in a way that is more balance and less-self critical.’

He brings a glove hand to rub his stubble, ‘I am working on controlling my thoughts and actions, and I have supprt to help me, like Sam and you too’.

You smiled, content with the progress being made, ‘That’s a great start. The more we practice this, the more it will become second nature.’

‘It’s important to remember that your past doesn’t define your present or future and that you have taken significant steps to change and heal, you know…especially by attending therapy regularly.’

The therapy session continued, with you asking more questions, typing your observations into your report and offering some tea and pastries to the sergeant.

‘For the next week, James, I’d like you to keep a journal of any negative thoughts you have and practice reframing them as we did today’. You opened the drawer in your desk, and pulled out a pen and notebook, and handed them over.

James sat forward, the gears in his mechanical arm echoing in the silence as he reached for the items. ‘I’ll try’.

‘Allow me to see you out.’ You walked across the office and pulled open the door, saying your farewells. ‘See you next session’ you waved with a smile.

#dark bucky x reader #dark bucky barnes #fanfic #dead dove

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chairteeth · 7 months

Text

So I did a lil bit of intro writing

For my upcoming contribution to the @magireco-minibang, I've decided to write a couple of introductions so to speak, in each main character's pov. I've been partnered with @karinmisono for this project and I for one am excessively excited about it aaaaa-

Anyway, the girls have grown different from their canon selves to some extent, given the changes in their formative years, but don't worry, being thrown into an eldritch horror gallery will bond anyone most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eighteen. The very day Nemu Hiiragi had turned eighteen, she’d stopped going to therapy. Her parents didn’t stop her—didn’t care enough to even find out. What had therapy ever done for her, besides bring to light how miserable her home life truly was?

Her father didn’t give her a break. She was barely listening to him when she walked into the kitchen. Something about a competition. Another competition. What was it going to be this time? Kendo? Karate? Taekwondo would at least be enjoyable.

“Oh, Nemu, there are leftovers in the fridge,” her mother called.

“Thank you, Mom, but I ate lunch before I left Yukuni.”

“I see…”

Before either of her parents could continue talking to her, Nemu left her bag on the counter and headed to her room, registering one last shout from her father to get ready for training. This was why she preferred to be anywhere but the house. She caught sight of her brother glaring at her from the door to his room and politely ignored it.

Once she’d finished counting the books in her room, as she did every time she entered it in hopes that her father wouldn’t have thrown away any of them, she eyed her laptop on her desk. Weekend mornings were the only time her father had been convinced to grant her for classes, prioritizing training his begrudging champion above her studies. She’d used up that day’s morning free time on returning to Kamihama all the way from Yukuni City.

“I suppose my assignments will be feasible to do tonight after dinner… which leaves me stranded here to sleep for the night. Not the worst fate, although unpleasant.”

She left her glasses on her dresser to put in her contacts, seeing as it was preferable to do it at home rather than the dojo. After a few blinks, a glance at her buzzing phone showed her a rare text from the only person she would hesitantly call a friend: Alina Gray. That could not possibly be good news.

“Cherry blossom viewing…? Alina would never suggest this. It must have been her girlfriend who proposed this. In Sankyo Ward as well… I do recall Akira mentioning that there’s a park with beautiful cherry blossoms nearby. While the prospect holds a certain appeal, I cannot extend my acceptance until I’ve formulated a suitable strategy to circumvent Dad’s potential objections.”

Strategizing would not be difficult… so long as she didn’t delude herself with any ideas of her unflinchingly strict father allowing her to skip even a single training session. Her instructors promoted discipline, however they had been willing to cover for her in the past. Once or twice. She hated having to request anything out of anyone.

“But… I would benefit from a small break. A break that does not involve depersonalization of the highest caliber.”

If her therapist had left her with anything, it would be the curse of self-awareness. All she’d wanted to do after leaving the hospital had been to bond with her family and indulge in her passions somewhere that wasn’t a sterile white environment reeking of medication.

Over her summer shirt, Nemu felt her fingertips glide around the contour of the scar beneath her breasts, and she hated the way it made her breath hitch. Breathing, breathing, breathing. Her enemy, it felt like. Or at least, for the longest time, it had been. She had not yet been able to go more than a few days without thinking back to the hospital. To the days of choking on her own mucus, when her limbs felt like lead and her useless, weak, defective lungs were filled with sandpaper, each cough rasping and tearing at her throat. The days of gasping for oxygen in a lonely room as if trying to suck air through a straw, tears streaming down her cheeks and her vision swimming. Those days when she’d both plead for and curse her parents, unable to hear herself above the high-pitched whistle that filled her ears, the constant reminder of the narrowed airways that choked her every breath. The red of her blood had looked beautiful when it stained her sheets—unproductive, the nurses had called it.

A bang on her door snapped her out of her thoughts.

“You’re gonna be late, grab your uniform and get your ass out the door!” her father yelled.

With a sigh, Nemu retrieved her folded up uniform and took her immunosuppressant pills dry. She’d heed her father’s command this once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touka never thought she could hate the stars. It wasn’t that she hated them, exactly. Recent events had simply granted her a new perspective.

“Fire requires oxygen and fuel. Fire produces heat and light through a chemical reaction called combustion. Fire releases ash and other byproducts. Stars don’t need oxygen or fuel in the traditional sense. Stars generate light and heat through nuclear fusion, where atoms combine to release enormous amounts of energy. Stars don’t produce ash, but heavier elements.”

She’d been repeating that to herself for months. The incident had left parts of her home in shambles, charred beyond recognition. Other parts had only seen minor damage. Including the particular canvas she’d been staring at. A perfect replica of herself, wearing a different dress and yet the same cursed bright smile she’d been made to sport since her inception. It made her frown to see the scorch marks—they left her figure untouched, consuming everything around her instead.

Touka took a deep breath. She couldn’t spend her day idling and moping. Her siblings were counting on her. They may have been older, but they’d been far more terrified than her when their guests had turned on them and set their home ablaze. It was her job to lead.

She stopped at the top of the stairs. The likelihood of falling was rather high, if her terrible balance since the incident was anything to go by. As if to taunt her, the sensation of burning embers radiated into her back and shoulders, numb yet tingling, icy cold yet searing hot. An ache, a throb she couldn’t escape. The smell of smoke and ash lingered in her nose.

“Like a ship missing its sails…”

With a scowl, she tried to take it one step at a time. And every step felt like descending into Hell itself. The ache radiated from her shoulder blades, down her spine, and into her fingers. Touka kept her eyes glued to the stairs below. Thankfully, there was a railing to hold onto. Unfortunately for her, as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she felt an itch urging her to scratch at it. She would not be scratching at empty air. For her dignity. She’d grit her teeth, squeeze her eyes shut, and hope it would pass soon. Her hand went to the black rose she wore in her hair.

“I need… to make better defenses. Every visitor that has come to our home has hurt us, only to flee before we can retaliate. I don’t know why I thought it would be different this time. Well, I was right, it was different, just… not in a good way. Of course not.”

Her older sisters had told her once, over tea, that she had no thorns. No matter how hard she tried to keep people away, she’d always end up trusting at the first sign of kindness. They’d tried not to blame her, but she could tell what they were thinking. Why would she want to be close to others when she already had such a large family that adored her?

“They don’t feel trapped here like I do… It hasn’t been the same since Father left. I wish I knew why he abandoned us. It was… little after I was born… Was it something to do with me? Did he not want to look at me?” She lifted up her forearm and stared at the burn scar forever etched into her skin. “Was I… defective?”

Touka slammed her fist into the concrete wall, sending cracks out from the point of impact. She could not afford distractions. She could not afford mourning. She could not afford-

But it ached. It ached and she fell to her knees beside the wall.

No sound. No sun. No wind.

She’d waited so long. First, in silence. Then, making the most noise she could. Trying everything, anything to make him proud. Why had he been so cruel as to abandon all of his children without a word? Her siblings had raised her with stories of their father’s loving soul and his kind hand. She’d never known them herself. What had she done to deserve his scorn? Why was she not worthy of his love as her siblings had been? Why did everyone who met her hate her? Why could she not let go of her sorrows and live happily like the rest of her siblings?

“They call me a genius… Is that why? It hurts… It hurts so much…”

The first sob came without tears.

#magia record #nishiposting #writing #nemu hiiragi #touka satomi #AU #fanfic #fanfiction #idk which tag I should be using for this #teaser #aged up characters #is that a tag I should be using #tounemu #????#they haven't even met yet at these points in their lives but like #you can clearly see the matching trauma #minibang24

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yelenasdiary · 2 years

Note

Could you please do 47 from your prompt list with Elizabeth Olsen and Reader. Reader feeling depressed? If that’s too much I understand.

The Signs

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Summary: Lizzie notices a change and wants to help

Prompt: 47 from my list here.

AC: I hope this brings comfort for anybody needing it xx.

It started with the sleepless nights and the change in your appetite that worried Lizzie. She watched you go from being the bright, bubbly and so full of life girlfriend to somebody she barely knew. She did what she thought would help but over time you lost interest in just about everything around you. Friday nights were usually game night, a special time for you and Lizzie to just do something different than going out for a drink or two and an expensive dinner and now they were spent with the two of you in different rooms. Lizzie wanted to give you some space, but she couldn’t help but worry deeply about you all alone in the bedroom while the dinner she made for you both sad cold on the dining table.

Then it was the mood swings for no reason, anything set you off, sometimes just the fact it was morning made you annoyed and frustrated for the rest of the day. Lizzie took mental notes of how you were day in and day out, anytime she tried to talk to you about her worries you shut her down saying you were fine, that you were just tired and stressed from work, but she knew that wasn’t the truth and didn’t push you to talk. You would, if and when you were ready. Her worry only grew more and more by the day, you did less and less things and often she found you staring into space while she tried to make any form of conversation. This led Lizzie to make a few calls and ask for help, she found a therapist that was deeply concerned for your wellbeing after Lizzie had explained everything she’d noticed and asked if there would be anyway Lizzie would get you to come in for a chat.

Even though you knew deep down that Lizzie was only meant good by her actions, it angered you knowing she’d spoken about you to a complete stranger.

“Honey, I’m just worried about you. I really am” Lizzie explained with tears building in her eyes. “I already told you, I’m fine! I’m stressed that’s all!” you snapped but she didn’t take it personally. “Darling, you haven’t been to work in months, you don’t leave the house and barely leave the bedroom. Something bigger is wrong honey, and I just want to help, please” she begged, reaching to hold you but you stepped backwards, “Lizzie, I said I’m fine” you replied before closing the bedroom door on her. She didn’t give up though even when she started to feel like she couldn’t help.

Hearing you try your best to keep your sobs quiet was killing her, she hated seeing you so down and hurt and yet nothing she did was making you feel any better, she couldn’t stay on the other side of the bedroom door and know you were hurting so deeply anymore. She entered the bedroom and saw you curled up in the corner with your needs to your chest. Without hesitation she sat down beside you and pulled you into her arms. “I’m so sorry” you cried into her. “Shh, darling it’s okay” she placed the softest kiss on the top of your head as her hand rubbed your back gently, “it’s not okay, I” you paused to wipe your tears. “I don’t know what is wrong with me” you broke once again, Lizzie only holding you tighter with tears of her own falling down her cheeks. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out, together” she spoke softly, “I love you so much, whatever is going on inside your mind will never change that, I’m here for you and we will get through this, I promise” she added as you sobbed more into her arms.

The two of you stayed like this for what felt like hours, until you managed to control your tears and look at her. “I feel so horrible” you started, the look of worry and concern on Lizzie’s face made your eyes tear up again, “you’ve tried so hard to make me feel better, to help and I shut you out and now I’m so deep in this darkness I’m so scared” you admit. “Oh honey” Lizzie’s thumb stroked your cheek softly, “I am here, and I will do whatever it takes to make you feel like yourself again, I don’t care how long it takes” she assures you with a soft smile that you almost missed. “Lizzie” your eyes fell, “I’ve been having thoughts… like a voice telling me I should k- “

“Don’t you ever listen to that voice because they don’t know you like I do, they don’t see how beautiful, loving, caring, funny and absolutely brave you are. I know right now it’s dark and lonely but honey, my sweet girl, you are not alone, ever” she never broke the eye contact, “do you want to try and talk to the therapist I found?” she asked. You nodded, “will come with me? Please?”

“Of course, I will, whatever you need, I’m here and I love you, everything single little thing about you” she kissed your forehead and pulled you back into her arms. Her own heart ached for you, she tried to shut up the thoughts you must’ve had which only made her hold you tighter, “I love you” she repeated every few minutes. She never wanted you to forget that even in the darkest times, she loved you more than anybody she’s ever loved. You were never alone, even if it felt like you were. All you had to do was look beside you and see her giving you the assuring softest smile and that was sometimes all you needed to know that everything was okay, Lizzie wasn’t going anywhere.

#grace elizabeth #elizabeth olsen x reader #fanfiction

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catgirledteach · 1 year

Text

okay ive reached the point where i need to get my season 2 theories out. i am going full red string cork board please feel free to lobotomize me at any time

i'm breaking these down by the batches of episodes as they will be released, as last season they said episodes were broken up very intentionally to convey certain story beats, and i think that's what they're doing this season as well

First three episodes:

we catch up with what each separate crew has been up to since season one left off i.e. a recap of how stede and the folks abandoned on the island managed to make their way back to society, how the now unhinged crew under ed has been running wild, how i suspect a lot of them are enjoying serving under a successful pirate captain but are confused and unsettled by how and why blackbeard has become so aggressive and unstable

i think the above will be the first episode for the most part. i think this will establish their goals/conflict - i predict some of stede's crew will be supportive of trying to go after ed and some won't. particularly i expect pete will get a storyline of him turning on the blackbeard persona he once idolized now that ed potentially did god-knows-what to lucius, and the only way he'll agree to go after blackbeard is if stede agrees to try and find lucius as his first priority and the rest of the crew backs him up

episode two follows stede's crew as they search for lucius and make new allies (lesbian pirates fuck yeah), meanwhile ed becomes more and more unstable and the crew starts to turn. ESPECIALLY izzy, but we'll come back to that. end of episode two they finally find lucius and they're ready to pursue the revenge

episode three ends with stede's crew finally catching up with the revenge, in no small part helped by frenchie, jim, and maybe even izzy quietly trying to sabotage ed so that stede can catch up and hopefully make things right again. izzy at this point is starting to realize that ed has gone off the deep end and not in a good way. he is seeing that underneath the violence and rage that ed is unhappy and he maybe even feels responsible - things have gone too far for even him and it's not what he wanted either. he maybe even confronts ed in a final attempt to set him right and after being unable to get through to ed, knows that stede is the only one who can fix this, much to his disappointment that he can't be that for ed

the reunion goes BAD, a standoff of sorts happens but ed refuses to forgive or listen to stede despite being heartbroken. however at this point his crew has turned on him so much that there's a blowout that separates them again, and stede maybe manages to take back the revenge or at least they manage to get jim and/or frenchie out of there. and MOST importantly i think this is where izzy defects, approaching stede with the deal that he will help him bring ed back, training him to fight and track down ed together

Episodes 4 and 5:

Episode 4 covers izzy and stede having a tenuous relationship, so starkly at odds yet understanding that they need each other to help ed. stede gets better at fighting/strategy, and despite some initial conflict they come to a place of peace and maybe even friendship?? this is also likely helped by lucius once again being the resident therapist onboard and talking izzy through his shit. izzy begins the tentative journey of realizing he was toxic, wanting to make up for that, and also finally acknowledging that his feelings for ed were more than what he originally thought they were.

also side note i think this may be the episode where one of the B plots are lucius and black pete getting married. sort of a "lucius almost died and there's nothing like being separated and potentially losing the love of your life to make you want to commit to each other for the rest of your life" and so they decide to throw the party we saw in the trailer. and also maybe this starts getting stede's mind going in the direction of marital thoughts

meanwhile the remains of ed's crew have had fucking enough, especially after the blowout that just happened, and throw him overboard. and with ed also being thrown into an emotional spiral after seeing stede again and not knowing how to deal with it, he kind of just lets it happen as he feels like giving up

This brings us to episode 5 which i think will be the "ed stranded on an island and slowly losing his mind" episode, which i think will be the main plot after a stede/izzy-centric episode prior. however, the B plot i do think is izzy and stede getting wind of ed being deposed, and going off just the two of them to find him, and again having some more honest conversations between the two of them about their histories and relationships to ed. (izzy maybe starts developing a crush on stede idk????????)

ed is going THROUGH it on the island, reckoning with his past and his shame, very similar to stede's fever dreams in season one. ed's imagining hornigold and maybe other memories that formed this discomfort with being seen as weak, vulnerable, not masculine enough, etc. and i think after going through some rough fucking soul searching and lowkey starving and dehydrating, he realizes he was just scared of stede bringing out this more vulnerable side of him, and that stede leaving was one of his worst fears coming true and that's why he lashed out. he knows he loves stede and deep down he knows stede loves him too but was just as scared as ed was, and that's why he left. episode ends with ed nearly fucking dying and stede and izzy finding and rescuing him

Episode 6:

An interesting choice to have one week with only one episode and im very intrigued. it's either meant to just be kind of a bridge episode that's a lot calmer after the previous intense episode with ed and a calm before the storm of the last two episodes, or it's maybe the most climactic episode yet.

i lean more the former, potentially a very quiet episode that is focusing less on the action and more on the emotional states of characters as ed is reintegrated into the crew, met with mixed reactions from different people. this could be the time for lucius to have his reckoning with ed about, y'know, lowkey trying to kill him after being nothing but supportive.

izzy is also very uncomfortable with his emerging new identity and having defied blackbeard once again being afraid of what ed might do to him now that they're back on the same ship. stede is likely the only one who has faith that ed will be okay and is the only person really defending him and protecting him. this is maybe the episode where stede and ed actually have a conversation about everything that's happened, how they feel about each other, and what this means going forward. things are still uncertain but they're recovering slowly

i also think a side plot that's been going on throughout the season is something related to jim's revenge quest, them maybe running into another one of the bandits who killed their family or maybe even their sibling we saw in the flashback (dear god i hope it's that one). so maybe that becomes the more action-heavy plot for this episode while every other plot is more subdued and emotional.

i think the end of this episode is a catalyst of conflict that will kick off the action for the last two episodes. this is so far out that i can't even begin to predict what that could be, but maybe something about being pursued by another country's navy again (i don't think so though, it would be a bit repetitive from last season's ending) or more likely being pursued by other pirates as word of blackbeard's wild behaviour and then subsequent disappearance after being mutinied got around. also he has a fucking price on his head

Episodes 7 and 8:

Just as the crew is starting to get on the same page again, they're thrown into a conflict of some kind. feelings have to take a backseat for a while, although they're still very much at the forefront of people's minds. more pirate conflict, more of jim's sidequest maybe, more seeking/returning of allies (returning lesbian pirates fuck yeah), very hero's journey-esque. i think this is where the clips with jackie maybe fit in, as the crew reaches out to other pirates and strike deals to get assistance with the brewing conflict? this is also what makes me think that the conflict is likely with other pirates, enemy of my enemy and all that.

episode 7 ends with the crew having put all their ducks in a row and prepare to enter the fray.

episode 8 is the climactic conflict, both in the battle-sense and also the emotional sense. stede and ed (and also maybe izzy?) can't hold back their feelings anymore, even in the midst of the current insanity, and maybe even BECAUSE of the insanity because they're worried what might happen to them going into danger. some sort of emotional confessions or proposals (?!!?!?!) occurs, everything coming to blows at once very dramatic and all that. this is perhaps the dramatic cliff scene that the vogue article mentioned??

and heartbreakingly, because there's still supposed to be one more season, i think it will end on another cliffhanger. my theory is that the revenge crew wins the day, but either stede or ed are captured in the process. the beaten pirates or officers or whatever know one of them is valuable to the other and takes them in hopes of maybe manipulating the other towards some goal or even just ransoming them off as they are both wanted fugitives. and by now stede and ed have had their emotional confession and know how the other feels, so we know that the final season will kick off with one of them forging an intense rescue mission to take them back and rain hell on whoever took the other.

BONUS PREDICTION: season three ends with ed and stede faking both their deaths in order to 'retire' peacefully, no longer wanting to live a life that puts either of them in danger of losing the other. maybe im reaching across the atlantic for this take, but i think the High on a Rocky Ledge song from episode one foreshadows all of this, implying they fake falling to their death together so that they can live out the rest of their lives in peace.

Full disclosure i wrote this all this morning before i even knew the trailer was releasing tomorrow so all of this will likely be completely irrelevant in like 12 hours. i have also intentionally avoided looking at any of the leaks (i liked some posts though to look at after i see its release) so if any of this is already contradicted ssshhhh you saw nothing

we still have three weeks to go gang and i'm literally on the verge of writing the whole fucking thing myself i am unwell please help me

#uh oh boys he's started writing paragraphs-long prediction posts time to put her down #ofmd #ofmd s2 #long post

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bloody-bee-tea · 2 years

Text

24 Days of Mingcheng 2022 Day 17 - Lunch

This story is courtesy of a prompt from indiw which was as follows: add to the punching JFM tag - only this time it is JC punching him, YZY giving immediate alibi and shaming JYL and WWX (and LWJ?) into agreement, over NMJ’s honor. NHS has recordings and receipts for future blackmail purposes and is waiting, when JFM wakes up. Maybe YZY, JYL, and WWX (and LWJ? ) are also present.

It's not exactly like that but I hope you still enjoy it!

Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to be doing this. He can imagine a thousand different things he would rather be doing that bring Nie Mingjue to lunch with his family and going to the dentist to have a root canal treatment still ranks pretty high up there compared to this.

“It will be fine,” Nie Mingjue tries to reassure him as they are getting ready and Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“I will not be fine. Nothing about this will be fine. Mom has been strange for a while now, Wei Wuxian will be as annoying as ever, Yanli will only try to keep the peace when it’s for Wei Wuxian’s sake and my father—” He trails off here because there are not actually words for how badly his father is going to behave.

“You know nothing he says about you is right, correct, my heart?” Nie Mingjue carefully ventures and Jiang Cheng lets out a sharp breath.

“I know. I’m not worried about what he’ll say to me,” he then admits because he has long made his peace with the fact that his father is a neglectful, abusive asshole and that it’s not actually his fault. That also means that there is nothing he can do to change his father’s opinion of him, though, and it had taken Jiang Cheng quite a few therapy sessions to not only accept but also come to terms with that.

“Then what?” Nie Mingjue wants to know, taking Jiang Cheng’s hand in his own.

“I’m worried what he’ll say to you,” Jiang Cheng tells him. “I doubt he’ll be on his best behaviour today, it’s only family after all, and he’s not going to hold back. He’ll casually insult me but also you, if only by proxy and I might just be fed up enough with him that I am not going to let that stand.”

“You’re worried you’ll start a fight?”

“Well, it’s not really like you can start a fight with my father, he’s way too infuriatingly calm for that somehow. But I will want to and it’s not going to end pretty.”

“Did you talk today through with your therapist?” Nie Mingjue asks him with a smile because he knows Jiang Cheng way too well already.

“Of course I did,” he huffs out in reply. “She told me to simply do and say what feels best for me, with no regard for him since he doesn’t have any regard for me, either. It seems like sound advice but it could also backfire horribly.”

“You will be fine,” Nie Mingjue reassures him, leaning in for a quick kiss. “If things do escalate, I am still there as well after all. And I have your back, no matter what.”

It’s nice to know that Jiang Cheng has someone on his side who is there unconditionally but it might not be helpful for this evening. There are still so many ways today could mean he breaks with his family and despite all the therapy and all of Nie Mingjue’s love, he’s not sure if he’s ready for that.

“Let’s just get it over with. I’m glad it’s only lunch, though, because that means no matter what happens, we get to end the day on a nice note.”

“Yeah, I wondered about that. You usually have dinners right?”

“My mother planned this. I don’t know what’s up with her lately, she’s been a bit strange. Last week she told me to take care when we said goodbye on the phone and that never happened. I wonder if she’s sick.”

“Or maybe she just realized how awesome you are,” Nie Mingjue gives back and even though Jiang Cheng’s doubts it was meant to make him laugh, he can’t help it.

“Yeah, right,” he mutters but follows Nie Mingjue outside when he leaves for their car.

The car ride is over way too quickly and Jiang Cheng stares at the house, dread pooling in his gut. It’s going to be awful, he can already tell.

“Stop frowning, we haven’t even gone in yet,” Nie Mingjue chides him and Jiang Cheng heaves out a deep breath.

“Fine, fine,” he sighs out and makes a conscious effort to relax his face.

“Better,” Nie Mingjue decides and then kisses Jiang Cheng between the eyes because of course there must still be a furrow.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t even know if his face can do completely relaxed but he’s not about to ask Nie Mingjue that, at least not right now.

He braces himself before he goes to knock on the door and he’s not surprised when his mother practically yanks the door open.

“You’re—” she starts but then cuts herself off and that alone makes Jiang Cheng frown again. “I’m happy you’re here,” she then says instead and Jiang Cheng fights the urge to reach out and take her temperature.

“Hello, mom,” he says and then tugs on Nie Mingjue’s sleeve. “This is Nie Mingjue, my boyfriend.”

“It’s nice to meet you in this capacity now,” Nie Mingjue says with a slight bow and Jiang Cheng watches his mother open her mouth, close it again, visibly re-arrange whatever she wanted to say and then try again with: “It’s nice to finally meet you, Wanyin has been talking quite a lot about you, recently.”

It’s almost nice coming from his mother and Jiang Cheng tries his best to keep the confusion off his face.

Something must surely be going on here; maybe it will be a big family announcement that will leave Jiang Cheng devastated and Yu Ziyuan is just trying to soften the blow or something. Jiang Cheng wouldn’t put it past his family, after all.

“Do come in, lunch is almost ready,” Yu Ziyuan tells them and ushers them into the house with the same impatient gestures she always uses and now this Jiang Cheng can recognise.

“Don’t be fooled, she’s not normally this nice,” Jiang Cheng whispers as Nie Mingjue and he take their shoes off and Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“But it’s nice for now, isn’t it?” he asks and Jiang Cheng has to admit that it kind of is.

If only he wouldn’t be waiting for the other shoe to drop. But he can’t trust this yet and so he keeps his guard up at all times.

“Let’s just see how the rest of the day goes,” Jiang Cheng whispers and leads Nie Mingjue into the dining room.

His family is already there, milling around the room and Jiang Cheng briefly presses his lips together when he realizes that neither Jiang Yanli nor Wei Wuxian have brought their respective partners.

It seems as if his family wanted to make sure that all the scrutiny is on Nie Mingjue today.

“Just great,” Jiang Cheng bitterly mutters under his breath and Nie Mingjue briefly squeezes his hand.

“I can deal with that. I have dealt with worse,” he reassures him, clearly coming to the same conclusion Jiang Cheng has and while Jiang Cheng knows that Nie Mingjue is more than capable of dealing with a bit of scrutiny, he simply wishes he didn’t have to in this setting.

“I know,” Jiang Cheng sighs out and then forces a smile on his face when Jiang Yanli notices them.

“A-Cheng, how nice to see you,” she says and flutters her hands around Jiang Cheng’s from as if she wanted to fix something. “And Mingjue as well, how nice, how nice,” she babbles and Jiang Cheng’s worry instantly doubles.

His sister is never one for babbling and she’s also not someone who refuses to make eye-contact but she’s doing it today.

Something must be up.

“Ah, Chengcheng, you brought your mountain of a man,” Wei Wuxian also calls out at that moment and Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath at that.

It’s not technically an insult—yet—because Nie Mingjue is huge but to say it to his face? That’s more than tactless in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“Wei Wuxian,” Yu Ziyuan chides him almost immediately and even though her voice isn’t as cutting as they are all used to from her Wei Wuxian still shrinks back.

“My lady,” Jiang Fengmian reprimands Yu Ziyuan almost instantly and Jiang Cheng isn’t sure if he wants to sit down for lunch first before they start with the fighting or if he’d rather get it over with.

It’s not like it’s in his hands anyway, but it’s nice to think about the different possibilities if only to tune everything out.

“Well, are you simply going to let him speak like that to our guest?” Yu Ziyuan wants to know and Nie Mingjue darts a quick look at Jiang Cheng.

He only shrugs in answer though, because it’s not as if he has any control over this. And it is along the lines of what he told Nie Mingjue to expect from this lunch.

“It wasn’t meant like that, and besides. He’s right, isn’t he? Mingjue is rather—huge,” Jiang Fengmian says, eying Nie Mingjue up and down and his gaze is so judging, Jiang Cheng immediately feels like apologizing to Nie Mingjue.

He seems to simply shrug it off though, because he extends his hand towards Jiang Fengmian.

“Thank you for inviting me,” he says and he almost sounds sincere, which is quite the feat, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“Yeah, we’re required to meet any new partners at least once, right?” Jiang Fengmian gives back as he takes Nie Mingjue’s hand and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“You’re going to meet him a lot more often, though, because I’m planning on keeping him,” Jiang Cheng says and he fights the urge to take a step back when his mother honest to god smiles at him.

“That is nice to hear, that you’re intending to make this work out,” she says and again, it’s just this shy of a compliment that it leaves Jiang Cheng a little bit floundering.

“Is it, though?” Jiang Fengmian muses, critically eying Nie Mingjue up again. “We all know about the temper problems of the Nie. I’m not sure we need any more of that in our family.”

It’s a clear side blow at Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Cheng, and honestly, Jiang Cheng couldn’t care less because he damn well knows he’s never going to change his father’s perspective of him, but for him to insult Nie Mingjue like that? Jiang Cheng can’t let that stand.

He’s just about to open his mouth when Nie Mingjue puts a steadying hand to the small of his back, slightly shaking his head at him. Jiang Cheng would love nothing more than to argue with him about that, but he presses his lips together instead.

Fine, if Nie Mingjue doesn’t want him defending his honour, then so be it.

“I think I have my temper just as well under control as Wanyin does,” Nie Mingjue gives back with a smile but of course Jiang Fengmian only huffs at him.

“So not at all, of course,” he says as if that is to be expected.

“Father,” Jiang Cheng says, his voice carrying a warning that is clearly lost on Jiang Fengmian. “He is a guest here, today,” he reminds him and Jiang Fengmian gives him his blandest smile.

“Of course he is. Thankfully only today, though, because you won’t be seeing him again after this,” he then declares and silence falls over the room.

“Fengmian,” Yu Ziyuan snaps out, her voice now carrying the bite Jiang Cheng was almost missing. “How dare you dictate who your son is seeing?”

“When it’s someone so wholly unsuitable as him, I exercise that right, of course.”

“Of course,” Yu Ziyuan huffs out mockingly. “But when Zixuan made your daughter cry several times and in public even, that was fine. And when Wangji almost molests Wei Wuxian at the dinner table, with no regards to social propriety, that’s also fine, am I right? No need to interfere there, but here you think you can tell your son what to do?”

“I can and I will,” Jiang Fengmian says. “Nie Mingjue has a reputation as a brutish and violent man and I will not stand for that in my household.”

“What you mean to say is that he pulverized the cooperation proposal you sent to him because it was entirely bullshit and you can’t deal with that,” Yu Ziyuan sums up and if Jiang Cheng wasn’t so angry on Nie Mingjue’s behalf he would laugh at the fact that his mother basically just called his father childish.

“Father, please think about what you’re going to say next because I will not allow you to speak like that about my boyfriend,” Jiang Cheng now chimes in as well even though Nie Mingjue is still motioning for him to stay quiet.

But Jiang Cheng will not stand for this; what kind of boyfriend would he even be if he allowed this?

“Wanyin, you will not be seeing him again,” Jiang Fengmian says again and Jiang Cheng clenches his hands to fists.

“You do not get to decide that,” he presses out. “You haven’t cared about my life before this, and you certainly don’t get to care about it now. So either you shut up right now, or you won’t like the consequences.”

“A-Cheng, please, don’t be rash,” Jiang Yanli soothingly says and steps in between Jiang Cheng and Jiang Fengmian. “There is no need to fight.”

“Oh, there absolutely is, if he thinks he can just say these things about Mingjue. You wouldn’t stand for it if he said those things about Zixuan.” He looks over at Wei Wuxian. “Or Lan Wangji, for that matter.”

“Ah, but Chengcheng, it’s all just in good faith, right? Aren’t you happy that Uncle Fengmian is worried about you?”

“Why would I be happy about that if he tries to paint my perfectly nice boyfriend as a violent man?” Jiang Cheng wants to know because he logic escapes him here.

“But he is exactly that,” Jiang Fengmian says, a small, confused frown on his face as if he couldn’t possibly understand how Jiang Cheng can’t see the truth. “We have all seen him with his brother after all.”

At that Nie Mingjue flinches slightly and Jiang Cheng immediately steps closer to press their arms together. Nie Huaisang is a bit of a sore topic for Nie Mingjue; even though they are mending their relationship as best as they can, there have been some things said between them that will need time to heal.

“That is enough,” Yu Ziyuan almost yells but of course Jiang Fengmian is completely unimpressed.

“She is right. One more word about this and you won’t like the consequences,” Jiang Cheng says as well and he is fully prepared to punch his father in the face should he say one more word on this topic.

“He’s probably abusing you just as he is abusing his brother,” Jiang Fengmian says despite the clear warnings and that’s it.

Jiang Cheng darts forward, his fist connecting with the side of Jiang Fengmian’s face and when he crumbles to the floor Jiang Cheng doesn’t even feel bad about it.

“A-Cheng!” Jiang Yanli yells out, rushing forward to Jiang Fengmian’s side and Wei Wuxian steps between them as if he needs to shield Jiang Fengmian from Jiang Cheng.

“How could you?” Jiang Yanli asks, her voice shaky and her eyes glistening with tears but before Jiang Cheng can find his voice, Yu Ziyuan steps in.

“I should hope that both of you would have done the same if anyone accused your spouses of abuse,” she sternly tells them. “If not, I would urge you to think about the consequences even such a rumour could have on your lives. Now, call him an ambulance if he needs one, or let him lay there for all that I care but I will see my son and his partner out now. You better have excuses ready for why you didn’t step up for your brother when I come back,” she says and then turns around to Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng.

“Come on, this was entirely unpleasant and you shouldn’t have to stay here,” she says, herding them towards the entrance.

Nie Mingjue looks a bit pale around the nose, so Jiang Cheng follows along without much complaint but once they are at the door he can’t help but to ask: “Mom, are you alright?”

Her behaviour is still strange and in all honesty it makes Jiang Cheng worry that something might be wrong with her.

“Everything is fine, my child,” she says and Jiang Cheng thinks he’s never heard her voice this soft. “I—have been attending therapy for a while now. I know there is a lot I have to make up for, but I would like to try. If you are amenable to that.”

“You’re going to therapy?” Jiang Cheng blurts out because he expected a lot but not that.

“Yes. When you moved out it was so clear that you didn’t expect anything from us—no help, no money, nothing—and it rubbed me the wrong way,” Yu Ziyuan admits. “After that I started to notice all the little things that have been going wrong in your life thanks to us so I talked to a good friend of mine and she advised me to talk to someone professional about this. It helps, at least I like to think that it does.”

“Wow,” Jiang Cheng breathes out.

“I would like to—well, make it up to you sounds as if this can be fixed, but I at least would like to try to build a proper relationship with you,” she says and it sounds so awkward that Jiang Cheng shudders.

Plus, he’s not completely convinced he can believe her.

“Lunch, once a month. You can prove how sincere you are then,” he decides even as he guides Nie Mingjue to put on his shoes.

He does so, but his moves are mechanical and Jiang Cheng worries.

“Sure. Now get your man home, he doesn’t seem so well.”

“He’s not. But thank you. And father—”

“Would do well to keep his mouth shut in the future,” Yu Ziyuan immediately says, much to Jiang Cheng’s amusement.

“Alright. Bye, mom,” he calls over his shoulder as he ushers Nie Mingjue towards the car.

“Bye, my son,” she calls after him and Jiang Cheng hates to admit it, but it makes him happy to hear her like that.

“My heart, are you alright?” he asks Nie Mingjue once they are in the car and Nie Mingjue slowly breathes out.

“I am not abusing you or my brother,” he then says and Jiang Cheng is quick to agree.

“You are not. Do you want me to call Huaisang?”

“I—yes, please,” Nie Mingjue slowly says and Jiang Cheng gets his phone out immediately, dialling the number and putting him on speaker before he even picks up.

“A-Cheng, hello,” Nie Huaisang cheerfully greets him but Jiang Cheng is not about to beat around the bush here.

“We just had a bit of a situation at lunch with my parents,” he explains and Nie Huaisang’s soft “Oh, oh,” is barely audible over the speaker. “My father accused Mingjue of abusing both of us.”

“Oh dear,” Nie Huaisang sighs out. “Is he there?” he then asks and Jiang Cheng hands the phone over to Nie Mingjue.

“Didi,” he breathes out. “I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing you have to apologize for. You never abused me. We both said some pretty hurtful shit when we had our fight but you never abused me, do you hear me?”

“I hear you,” Nie Mingjue whispers out and Jiang Cheng reaches over to take his hand.

“But do you believe me?” Nie Huaisang wants to know and then curses when Nie Mingjue stays silent. “Alright, change of plans, you two come here. Did you eat lunch? Doesn’t matter, you’ll do it again. I expect you in twenty,” he tells them and then hangs up on them.

“See, he doesn’t sound upset and he wouldn’t invite you over if he felt unsafe in your presence,” Jiang Cheng soothingly tells Nie Mingjue who seems to finally start to believe him.

“Alright,” he says with a nod and Jiang Cheng leans over to press a kiss to his brow.

“Good. Now let’s have an actual nice lunch and not whatever the hell this was.”

“Did you—punch your father for me?” Nie Mingjue suddenly asks. “And did your mother say she’s been going to therapy?”

Jiang Cheng allows himself a small laugh at that.

“Yes, to both. The former, especially, was very cathartic.”

“I can imagine,” Nie Mingjue wryly says and Jiang Cheng knows he will be okay when he smiles slightly at that.

Jiang Fengmian’s remark hit a very sore spot for Nie Mingjue but Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang will make sure to show him exactly how much they love him, no matter how much Nie Mingjue sometimes worries.

Nie Mingjue’s and Nie Huaisang’s relationship might have been bad once upon a time, for various reasons, but they both want to change that and are working so hard on it.

Jiang Cheng is just happy to support them both through that and if that includes punching his idiot father—well, he’s happy to do it again any time.

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#bt writes #mingcheng #24daysofmingcheng22 #the untamed #mdzs #modern au #established relationship #punch jfm in the face agenda #hurt/comfort #fluff #therapy

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thisbrownteacher · 2 years

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Benefits of Self-Regulation Skill Building

You can tell that your child needs something.

What they need are options.

What they need is to control the narrative [so to speak].

When you introduce non-traditional supports and self-regulation skill building to you children, what you're giving them is an opportunity to be better equipped and further empowered to intervene on behalf of themselves during stressful situations.

As a teacher, I am here to tell you that in a classrooms(or a world) full of different students with differing needs and abilities, the greater independence and self-regulation a child can demonstrate -the better. Fair or unfair, agree or disagree ... it is what it is.

As a musician, I can assure you that music is one of the best naturalistic interventions available to unique, non-traditional, behavioral, anxious, high-intelligence, homeschooled, or, frankly, any learner.

And as a parent of an atypical/neurodivergent thinker, Iet me assure you that (as difficult as it may sometimes be) appreciating the uniqueness that your child brings, building your child up to advocate for and appreciate their own uniqueness, and advocating internally, externally, and on all levels to ensure that the those who interact with your child not only respect but accommodate and make room for their particular uniqueness is evidence, on your part, of a job well done. Understand that at least on some levels, we are all, in a sense, training our children to be our replacements. And this edict certainly includes children with differing abilities as well.

This is why the practice of non-traditional self-regulation skill building through the use of non-traditional supports is so critical.

And as far as skill building, DrumKids offers just that. No pills. No potions. Only a low-stress system in a stress-less environment that allows our neurodiverse superheroes to learn and practice positive self-regulation and self-soothing strategies they can implement -at their own discretion, upon their own volition- for fun or relief.

The structures you probably already have in place are valid and should remain so. You have the pediatrician, for example, to meet your child's physical and medical needs. You have the therapist who (hopefully) meets your child's mental and emotional needs.

What you don't have -YET- is a mother who shares the same experiences as you. Who is ready to share supports with your son the same as I do with own son and my own students.

That's why NOW is the time to add DRUMMING into the equation.

Drumming is pattern based. And many neurodivergent thinkers have advanced pattern perception and tend to prefer and respond favorably to the cognitive reorganization that patterns seem to bring. Our simple drum sessions feature the basics of drumming and drum patterning.

And while our individual and group session are interesting and even fun; drumming with DrumKids, unlike with other 'children's music programs, is also successful because it's not just drumming for the sake of learning percussion or banging on drums. By drumming, I share methods that can help learners independently advocate on their own behalf (either with words or actions) through the practice and demonstration of self-regulatory skills that help children regulate or soothe nontraditional behaviors while developing independence skills such as: "reading the room", accepting social cues, practicing social interactions, and monitoring and managing their own behaviors, reactions, and responses. And all of this, amazingly, can be taught indirectly as a by-product of simply interacting with drums on a repetitive basis.

Drumming is an evidenced-based music intervention that helps children develop positive alternatives to traditionally negative, harmful, or socially ostracized behaviors. Drumming helps with self-regulation. Drumming helps reduce anxiety. Drumming helps rebalance emotions. Drumming helps express excess energy. I created DrumKids not as a means to 'convert' or 'mask' behaviors. Instead, for my own child and my students just like him, to give them more choice. More ownership. More say. More anything, in fact, to make it all just a little easier so that they find the least resistance as they work towards developing their best selves while being the superheroes they were actually born to be.

Drumming is helpful. Let DrumKids help.

(You were meant to see this post.) CLICK HERE FOR MORE.

#creativity #neurodivergent stuff #education #teacher #sped #autismawareness #homeschool #inclusion #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #actually neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #neurotypical

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couplesinstitutecounseling · 16 days

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Rebuilding Trust After An Affair

Finding out about an affair is often met with shock, devastation, and the sense that the relationship was never what they thought it was, and can never be the same again. There is also uncertainty in the relationship: where do we go from here?

There are 3 directions that couples decide to go:

Split up immediately

Move forward as a couple without discussing the affair because it is too painful/overwhelming

Have the difficult conversations which are designed to process the affair, how you got here, rebuilding trust, etc. The goal is to come out the other side a stronger, more evolved relationship, based on a foundation of growth.

For the sake of this article, I will discuss the 3rd direction, specifically the aspect of rebuilding trust.

Processing an affair is part of what is needed to rebuilt trust; yet this is not easy for either partner, for different reasons:

The partner who had the affair commonly feels guilt, shame, and anger / strong emotions from their partner. They often don’t know how to react to this anger or emotion in a way that is productive. Furthermore, their shame and guilt often gets in the way. This can lead to a feeling of impatience, “I have already apologized, how much longer is this going to go on? When can we start to move forward?” This dilemma can lead to them feeling helpless and begin avoiding conversations with their partner.

The partner who found out about the affair commonly feels on some level like it’s is their fault that the affair happened: “If only I was more ___ or less ___, my partner wouldn’t have strayed.” So in addition to feeling the pain of the betrayal, they feel the pain of not feeling good enough. The relationship is different, and they wonder “how could I have been such a fool and not seen the signs?” Now not only do they not trust their partner, they question trusting themselves as well. All of this can lead to withdrawal, and/or lots of anger directed at their partner.

It’s important to know that that if the couple works together, they can begin to process the affair and rebuild trust (when they are ready). Both partners play a role in doing this.

REBUILDING TRUST

The partner who had the affair:

Describe why you had the affair, without justifying it, and without blaming your partner. Get the help of a therapist for this. The scariest thing your partner can hear you say is that you don’t know why the affair happened, because then why wouldn’t it happen again? This will cause your partner to have constant anxiety. If you instead explain the part of you that made that choice and why, and why you won’t make that choice again in the future, it helps.

Be consistently transparent from now on and going forward. Your partner is not listening to what you say, they are watching how consistently transparent you are because that communicates to them how serious you are and your level of commitment to the relationship.

Anticipate sensitive life events: “Hey our anniversary is coming up – I know that’s a hard time of year for you.” “Tonight, I am going out with some coworkers, I know this brings up anxiety for you. Let’s talk about what I can do to help you feel more comfortable with this.” Etc. When you anticipate and express this sensitivity, your partner won’t feel as alone.

A willingness to listen, soothe and validate your partner’s feelings. Let them know you understand how they feel, that how they feel makes sense and that you would feel the same way in their shoes. This takes a capacity to extend yourself to your partners reality apart from your shame and guilt, and to know that every time you do that, it’s helping to rebuilt trust.

The partner who found out about the affair:

Tell your partner when you have thoughts / anxiety swirling around in your head about the affair, verses acting it out indirectly. It can help for your partner to validate you, hear you and respond to you.

It can feel so isolating when going to an event with your mutual family or friends, but no one knows about the affair. Tell your partner when you are anxious about going to an event. Let them know what they can do to support you whether it’s leaving early, or having an agreed behavior between the 2 of you that you can do to let your partner know that you feel overwhelmed, etc. at the event.

You are angry, and understandably so. When you talk with your partner though, see if you can get beneath the anger and tell your partner about the betrayal, hurt, fear, and other emotions that you are feeling instead of just the anger. It will help you process better.

If you are suspicious of your partner’s behavior, try not to come at them with convictions and accusations – see if you can instead ask them clarifying questions.

Rebuilding trust after an affair is a process that gets strengthened over time. Trust is not freely given, it is earned. It’s normal to have good days, and bad days – it may feel like a roller coaster. This is normal. Your feelings are normal.

I hope this article offers some big picture steps for each of you during this difficult time. If you find you need guidance to navigate your way through contact us for a free consultation to hear how we can help.

#couples therapy #relationship counseling #individual counseling #trauma #communication #relationship therapy

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