#but i am a person who practices a religion because of chance; i was born into a religious family and find meaning in the rituals
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utilitycaster · 4 months ago
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The thing about both Ioun and Selena is like. I get it. I really do. So much of our scientific knowledge - medical especially - comes from knowledge we gained in blood, and a lot of it was the blood of people who did not volunteer nor consent (nor were given opportunity to consent). What protections we have now are all recent, in many cases insufficient, and themselves subject to debate. Knowledge we lack and the safety and wellbeing of many people in the future often rest on the safety of a few people in the present; knowledge we have and the safety and wellbeing of many people in the present often comes from sources we should have never had access to.
You do want to have that information. You do not ever want to have to get it, and there's no good way to decide who should have access to it, but someone has to. There is absolutely no good answer at any stage of the process, and a goddess of knowledge and an archmage desperately trying to save her life's work both have to make a decision knowing none will be a good one.
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theshoesofatiredman · 6 months ago
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“This choice to follow Jesus is so highly valued within Christianity, the determiner of eternal salvation, but it's barely even a choice at all. It's practically an outcome of a person's birth circumstances.”
The choice to follow Jesus is the only thing that matters in Christianity. That is a fact, yes. In his final moments, the robber at the cross chose to follow Jesus ─ he died shortly after, yet that small choice was enough.
I cannot answer why people risk their lives to follow Christianity.
Like yourself, I live in a country where being a Christian does not risk me the penalty of death. I can only recall the hymn “I Have Decided to Follow Jesus” (which I am sure you know of) ─ and if it cannot answer your why, then what can?
But I do disagree that it is an outcome of one's birth. Unlike yourself, no one forced me into Christianity. After leaving their church, my parents never stepped foot in another one for 16 years.
I certainly didn't like reading the Bible, nor did I care about praying as a kid.
The only time I've seen my father try his hand at converting anybody was to myself. He explained why it was, how it was, and what it was. Told me the choice was my own, and never brought it up again.
And I didn't take him up on that offer. It was a long time later, and a choice very much my own that made sense to me that lead me where I am ─ so yes. I disagree quite a lot, actually, that it is a matter of circumstance.
Because I was not raised in a church, and neither was my father; my mother was raised an off-hand Catholic with way more pressing issues to even think about faith or religion.
Many more people leave the church they were raised in, than are raised in a way to keep them in a church until adulthood. Still, I'm not from the US, so I don't know what happens around there.
I'd even bring forth every single member of my local church as an example, but this getting too long already.
And there are two more questions I want to answer.
(1/?)
I was quite taken aback by this response, because I would think that the unfair access to the message of John 14:6 across the modern world alone would've been indisputable. Some people get to live in a part of the world where Christianity's influence is so everpresent you're likely to see John 14:6 on a bumper sticker (this happened to me this week, thought of you anon) and others get to live in parts of the world where they are likely never to even come to know John 14:6. I thought that this was something we would agree on.
People make choices, yes, but those choices don't exist in a vacuum! You may have made the choice to follow Christ, but the fact that your parents both brought some version of Christianity to the table certainly plays a role in the likelihood you'd even be exposed to Christianity's central doctrine! The fact that you live in a country where you can worship openly affects your ability to even be given the teachings of Jesus so that you can understand and follow him. And since we are talking about God here, judge of all humanity past present and future, with the power to install your soul into any era, the fact that you were born thousands of years after Jesus' ministry also has an impact.
Question: how soon after Christ's resurrection did humanity become responsible for trusting in him for their salvation? How were the people who were near death, living continents away, supposed to be held responsible for that knowledge? Did they ever stand a chance at hearing that Jesus was the only way to their Creator, before Christianity could even leave the region? What of the people who died in the moments after Jesus took his first breath, before the stone had even been rolled away. Were they responsible to choose Christ? And if they were, how is it fair?
The reality it would seem to me is that not everyone is dealt the same hand when it comes to the ability to choose to believe in Jesus as the way, the truth, and the life. Not then and not now. And yet salvation is handed out for this one choice alone. And that's not even really touching upon the matter of whether or not we can choose what we believe in (it's basically impossible to believe something you're not convinced of and it hardly seems like a moral failing to not be convinced something is true). How is it fair to withhold salvation from the person who died a year after and a continent away from when and where Jesus rose from the grave but give it to the 5th generation Christian born in 2002 into a Christian majority country? BTW 87% of Christians live in countries where Christianity is the majority religion.
I also am going to have to ask for a source on the claim that more people who were raised in the church leave rather than stay. I have not seen that backed up by the data I've looked at regarding religious belief. If that is true, I would like to know it, but sadly I don't think it is.
I'm glad you weren't indoctrinated, anon, but I think you're missing the point by highlighting this. Do you think you'd still be Christian if your family was devoutly Muslim? Do you think you'd still be Christian if you grew up in a majority Buddhist country? Do you think you'd be Christian if you were born in the same place but the same year Jesus was?
And to get back to my question, why worship a God who lets those very real barriers, that affect something as amoral as belief, determine whether a person should be saved?
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rebatom · 7 months ago
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I Am Also a Nihilist
”
I
I am an individualist because I am an anarchist; and I am an anarchist because I am a nihilist. But I also understand nihilism in my own way...
I don’t care whether it is Nordic or Oriental, nor whether or not it has a historical, political, practical tradition, or a theoretical, philosophical, spiritual, intellectual one. I call myself a nihilist because I know that nihilism means negation.
Negation of every society, of every cult, of every rule and of every religion. But I don’t yearn for Nirvana, any more than I long for Schopenhauer’s desperate and powerless pessimism, which is a worse thing than the violent renunciation of life itself. Mine is an enthusiastic and dionysian pessimism, like a flame that sets my vital exuberance ablaze, that mocks at any theoretical, scientific or moral prison.
And if I call myself an individualist anarchist, an iconoclast and a nihilist, it is precisely because I believe that in these adjectives there is the highest and most complete expression of my willful and reckless individuality that, like an overflowing river, wants to expand, impetuously sweeping away dikes and hedges, until it crashes into a granite boulder, shattering and breaking up in its turn. I do not renounce life. I exalt and sing it.
II
Anyone who renounces life because he feels that it is nothing but pain and sorrow and doesn’t find in himself the heroic courage to kill himself is - in my opinion - a grotesque poser and a helpless person; just as one is a pitifully inferior being if he believes that the sacred tree of happiness is a twisted plant on all apes will be able to scramble in the more or less near future, and that then the shadow of pain will be driven away by the phosphorescent fireworks of the true Good...
III
Life - for me - is neither good nor bad, neither a theory nor an idea. Life is a reality, and the reality of life is war. For one who is a born warrior, life is a fountain of joy, for others it is only a fountain of humiliation and sorrow. I no longer demand carefree joy from life. It couldn’t give it to me, and I would no longer know what to do with it now that my adolescence is past...
Instead I demand that it give me the perverse joy of battle that gives me the sorrowful spasms of defeat and the voluptuous thrills of victory.
Defeated in the mud or victorious in the sun, I sing life and I love it!
There is no rest for my rebel spirit except in war, just as there is no greater happiness for my vagabond, negating mind than the uninhibited affirmation of my capacity to life and to rejoice. My every defeat serves me only as symphonic prelude to a new victory.
IV
From the day that I came into the light - through a chance coincidence that I don’t care to go into right now - I carried my own Good and my own Bad with me.
Meaning: my joy and my sorrow, still in embryo. Both advanced with me along the road of time. The more intensely I felt joy, the more deeply I understood sorrow. You can’t suppress the one without suppressing the other.
Now I have smashed down the door and revealed the Sphinx’s riddle. Joy and sorrow are only two liquors with which life merrily gets drunk. Therefore, it is not true that life is a squalid and frightening desert where flowers no longer blossom nor vermilion fruits ripen.
And even the mightiest of all sorrows, the one that drives a strong man toward the conscious and tragic shattering of his own individuality, is only a vigorous manifestation of art and beauty.
And it returns again to the universal human current with the dazzling rays of crime that breaks up and sweeps away all the crystallized reality of the circumscribed world of the many in order to rise toward the ultimate ideal flame and disperse in the endless fire of the new.
V
The revolt of the free one against sorrow is only the intimate, passionate desire for a more intense and greater joy. But the greatest joy can only show itself to him in the mirror of the deepest sorrow, merging with it later in a vast barbaric embrace. And from this vast and fruitful embrace the higher smile of the strong one springs, as, in the midst of conflict, he sings the most thundering hymn to life.
A hymn woven from contempt and scorn, from will and might. A hymn that vibrates and throbs in the light of the sun as it shines on tombs, a hymn that revives the nothing and fills it with sound.
VI
Over Socrates’ slave spirit that stoically accepts death and Diogenes’ free spirit that cynically accepts life, rises the triumphal rainbow on which the sacrilegious crusher of new phantoms, the radical destroyer of every moral world, dances. It is the free one who dances on high amidst the magnificent phosphorescence of the sun.
And when huge clouds of gloomy darkness rise from swampy chasms to hinder his view of the light and block his path, he opens the way with shots from his Browning or stops their course with the flame of his domineering fantasy, forcing them to submit as humble slaves at his feet.
But only the one who knows and practices the iconoclastic fury of destruction can possess the joy born of freedom, of that unique freedom fertilized by sorrow. I rise up against the reality of the outer world for the triumph of the reality of my inner world.
I reject society for the triumph of the I. I reject the stability of every rule, every custom, every morality, for the affirmation of every willful instinct, all free emotionality, every passion and every fantasy. I mock at every duty and every right so I can sing free will.
I scorn the future to suffer and enjoy my good and my bad in the present. I despise humanity because it is not my humanity. I hate tyrants and I detest slaves. I don’t want and I don’t grant solidarity, because I am convinced that it is a new chain, and because I believe with Ibsen that the one who is most alone is the strongest one. This is my Nihilism. Life, for me, is nothing but a heroic poem of joy and perversity written with the bleeding hands of sorrow and pain or a tragic dream of art and beauty!”

 Renzo Novatore
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chaoticacademicdemon · 2 years ago
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Series Agogé, personal proyect
Chapter 1.1: “Aike”
On my way to the Agogé
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What is a God? Many times I think about it when passing in front of the churches and temples of my city. After all, I live in Byblos, religion is around every corner. I understand that it is very important but I have never understood the need for so many places of worship in such a small space. Don't they tell us that we can pray to them and all that from anywhere? It really does not seem so bad to me, it is good to have so much variety but I think we have gone a bit too far.
This was where it all started after World War II. I pass in front of the statue that reminds us of Awakening Day, November 16 to be exact, the day old Ayin saw them for the first time. For a while I really liked that story, not because it was interesting, but because it happened where I lived. The Gods have always fascinated me much more unfortunately.
My city became a sacred and pilgrimage site and thus the population reached numbers never seen before, now it is what New York used to be.
In truth, I am very unlucky to have been born here, even with the great living conditions, the new capital-socialist system and the great advances in gender equality. Basically, I live in the center of today's world. I wish I had been born in Frankfurt like my father or in any other city where there was a definite God. How easy it would be to choose the protector God of your city, I can't do it because I would have to choose the entire pantheon.
If the Awakening hadn't happened, right now I would be going to the institute and not to the Agogé.Besides, I'm going to have to decide for myself a God. If I could choose, I would go for Ares or Hestia since they are the ones that could help me the most. That would have been the smart thing to do, but my 9 year old mind had to go where it shouldn't and now all my chances of making a normal pact are lost.
And here I am, I have arrived. I look at the huge planes surely full of students like me and I am filled with confidence to go through the goal. By the way, it is quite beautiful, it is a Peloponnesian style that is not exactly the most outstanding for its beauty but I love the way in which the vegetation has flooded even the highest parts. In front of me is the big square full of people eager for the start of their preparation for adulthood, but I don't want to spend three years doing math and push-ups, much less practicing with my Evepyoc. I want to go home fervently.
All motivation and confidence fade, and I put my hands in my pockets wearily. I turn around ready to leave, when a boy much younger than me approaches me, I can't say his age because I'm extremely bad at that, but he was much younger. I freeze completely when his eyes lock on mine and he stops in front of me. Please no.
- I knew it! This year you are entering the Agogé! I am a big fan!
- Yes, I don't doubt it, now if you let me...
- Are you leaving? Will you let me take a picture with you?
- Uh, well, you'll see...
- Please! I will get thousands of followers if I post a picture with you on my Insta!
- Yeah, but no thanks. I have to go.
- Oh, come on, just one please.I promise I won't post it.
- Yes, of course. - I sighed tiredly - You're lucky, today I'll let you, but in the description you put my real name and nothing else about me, understood?
Why does this happen to me? I don't want to make a bigger scene than what we are already causing, I hope not many people have recognized me, even though I am wearing very baggy clothes and a mask. My plan to get out of here until I calm down has been destroyed and now I really have to go in, thank goodness I skipped breakfast because I'm about to vomit.
At least my parents have brought my things this morning and I don't have to carry my suitcases like the rest of the students who come from abroad. I have only been able to enter this prestigious academy because of my proximity and my, how to say, turbulent past. Classes are taught in English in order to accommodate 70% international students. There is a very good admissions department and all parents dream of taking their children here to study at Agogé. It seems perfect, but right now my room seems perfect to me, not this place filled to the brim with strangers.
From the faces of some of my future classmates, it looks like I'll be the only one who isn't exactly excited about the idea of ​​a student jail that I won't even be able to get out of to go to the movies.
The good thing is that in here there is everything, like a mini city within another, so I doubt that I'm missing anything. I'll do things right, I'll go slowly, I'll get average grades and I'll make a couple of friends, when I realize it I'll have graduated and I'll be able to go home. Aike, focus on the positive, everything will be fine.
I don't like going out, I don't like people in general, so being in the middle of the square with 2,000 or 3,000 other people is like my worst nightmare. I hope I never have a nightmare like this, I prefer to sleep well. Good thing I have Hypnos on my side, otherwise I couldn't have slept well the previous nights. My almost dissipated stress increases exponentially when I see the director on stage and notice how the doors are closing behind me.
I quickly walk to a crowded corner and blend in with the crowd almost to the right corner of the square. The speech begins like any I have seen in my few years, the typical motivational speech for students who begin this stage of their lives with new hope, and then adds:
- With this already covered, I will proceed to explain the rules for the students of the Agogé in the Mégara academy. As you already know, students will not be able to leave the campus except for emergencies and the designated dates that parents will receive in an email. Starting with the important thing, the first thing you should do is turn on your mobile phones. I can assume that everyone has already downloaded the academy application on their phones, following the instructions that we sent when enrolling. Now they must create an account.It will ask for your email, use your full name followed by @mégara.agogé.lb and you can create your account as you would with any social network. Your username cannot be changed at any time, so choose wisely, there have already been many cases of graduating students with ridiculous names.
I follow his instructions and create my account, immediately a scream is heard that I suppose was intended to be Spartan. The rest of the mobiles also emit various noises, but none as shrill and embarrassing as mine. My screen goes white, with the phrase “wait for the next instructions” in all capital letters. Why can't they put an informative video on me and watch it from my house, or my future room? This is a waste of time, we all know what's coming, the points system, the level tests, the duels. I want it to end now, but the director continues her speech.
- The Mégara academy is governed by a points system. In each duel with a student, always carried out under the supervision of a teacher, the points agreed upon in advance will be played. For example, if we do a duel to 10 points, we both pay 10 and whoever wins gets 20. It's easy, right? At the end of the month, a count of points is made and a class will be assigned depending on these. The α rank, the most difficult to achieve due to its high achievement requirement, is also the most advantageous. Points are given weekly to all students and the higher the class, the more rewards.
The points seem something important but we have not managed to explain well what they are for.The idea behind the points is to achieve equal opportunities for all of our students.- I look now at how well he speaks and moves around the stage despite his cataracts. People pay attention to what you say, and now it's time for the most important part of your speech. -The points are obtained by merits, and it will be these merits that will pay for everything that is inside here. Food costs points, books, movies, video games, the basic expenses they may have will be paid with their own means and not with their families' money. In fact, the universal currency is not accepted in any of the establishments and stores. The residence halls are also paid with their points, the most luxurious one costs more but offers better conditions such as a gym, swimming pool and sauna, as well as a kitchen in each of the rooms, which are more like flats.
That interests me, I prefer to cook my own food. In MĂ©gara they are super secret with their internal things, I only know a little about what my father told me and the basics that are known about the points system and all that, but all the services inside are secret. My phone finally reacts and I have access to the catalog of facilities, services, residence halls and my class schedule that is empty.
I also notice that I can buy an exit pass for an hour for 1000 points, I get used to the idea that I'm going to be locked up forever.
The director explains that the schedule varies from class to class and that these will be assigned after the level test. She shows us an area to leave our luggage and I see how my poor suitcases, which had been waiting for me all morning, are crushed by hundreds of them. So basically this is capitalism, great.
Oh no, all the people have gone to leave their bags and I am left alone, my camouflage in the crowd has been lost. I look towards the stage and notice the penetrating gaze of the director, which worries me a lot because, according to what I have been told, her eyesight is severely affected by age. And if...? No, no, it can't be. And that's when I hear her say:
- It seems that we have very interesting new students.
I am about to cry at this point and all I see is that they have posted the lists of the groups in the application I run to find where I have to go. Group 7, well, well, that's a good number. Now I'm going to do a normal job and I'm going to the best room I can find for today, then I'll distribute the points and see what I need.
I arrive first at the meeting point and greet the monitor. He's huge, bald and tattooed, which I was missing, but he's pretty nice. I want to do the test that is quick and go. Hopefully it's a theoretical exam, just focus, write and leave when you're done. I want to leave and we haven't even started.I hope they give me enough points to buy tissues because I can already feel the snot running down my face, at least I'm wearing a mask. People are arriving and when we are all headed to the training ground, I feel unstoppable, ready for anything.
I see the equipment and I understand that it's discus shooting. As long as Apollo doesn't come up with something weird, I'm fine. We organize ourselves and I am the second in the fourth row. There are four lines to shoot, with a ballistic dummy at the end of each and a stack of discs at the beginning of all. We are all prepared and by our reactions you can already tell who is going to do well and who is not. The girl in front of me is shaking, and I take advantage of the noise to reach out and touch her shoulder to check if she's okay, but I only manage to make her scream. She is she I did not expect.
- Are you OK?
"Yeah!" She says she struggles through the sweat that she has completely covered her face.
"Just grab it by the edges like this and extend your arm like this," she explained as she guided him through her movements. I notice the look she gives my black gloves, I guess she looks like she's sick or something, I don't know.
- Thank you! My name is Evelynn!
- Do you have to yell for everything?
- Yeah! Hey, she waits.
- I am Aike. Well, she touches you.
- Oh yeah. Yeah!
She did well for it to be her first time. She now she touched me, what little desire.
I get into position and shoot. Perfect, balanced, that does not stand out much but that is not a suspense. It could be between a 5 and a 7 if it's done over 10, so I'm about to walk away from the lines with my puck still in the air.This is when I feel some very familiar chills and feel a draft come out of my hand. "Aeolus" I whisper, about to have an anxiety attack, a plea, a sigh, a need for him to please not do what I think he's going to do. My prayers are not enough to stop the disc that, driven by an inexplicable wind, passes through the dummy and shoots across the field, having the monitor of another team to stop it before it hits their test.
With tears streaming down my face, I cringe and run to the back, hearing all the whispers and feeling all the stares from my companions. It seriously had to happen to me today, of all days. They won't leave me alone for a single second, they don't understand that I don't want to be the center of attention. I wipe away my tears and blow my nose with a squashed handkerchief in my sweatpants. Please someone did it better than me.
The instructor tells us the points of each one in alphabetical order at the end of the test. Out of 100 points I got 100 and Evelynn 45. I wanted to get 70 at the most, but now everyone is looking at me. We walk to the next test, thank the Gods there are only three and one is a theoretical exam according to what Alex, the monitor, told me.
.
.
.
(Don’t want this to be really long, I’m gonna make it into 2 parts, english is my second language, if there’s something to improve let me know, thanks for making it this far <3)
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eyesmadeofpearls · 2 months ago
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i'm getting more increasingly upset with the people who claim that anyone (even poc/people generally not even british, irish, scottish, etc) can practice celtic religions, indulge in the culture, and wear the clothes. they do it for the "aesthetic" and they cherry pick the things they like, like foods and clothing. not only this, but half of them don't learn the languages or know the history at all.
it's really simple to understand, if you can respect native americans when they tell you not to wear certain things or do certain things if you don't know the true meaning then why do you constantly disrespect native celts when they say no? i've seen people say because we're white it doesn't matter and i find that funny. culture isn't exclusively a poc thing, culture is music, food, practices, religion, language, clothing, and so much more. you need to respect all races and all ethnicities. and you can't use "well my ancestors were enslaved-". okay well please tell me how i am responsible for that? how every white person born, is responsible for that? "youre privelege!-" you mean the privelege that nobody has? true privelege is money, if you have it you can pay yourself out of jail even if you've actually killed someone. in america, people get paid depending on their jobs and its literally illegal to descriminate against any race in the work place. if you work at somewhere with low pay, that has nothing to do with a white person because theres a 99% chance other white people work there too. either way, two wrongs dont make a right especially when the white people you target dont even have history with slave masters.
so, on to the originaly topic, just.. stop. stop stealing things that dont belong to you. and for gods sake, dont try to make it okay by saying "the british museum" because thats the government, not the people. didn't we learn about this already? do you know how it feels for your government to go to wars with people even if you disagree on that? you learn the hard way you can't convince them what they're doing is bad because theyre so brainwashed. you can fight it, but you can't make a real impact unless you're willing to be called terrorist. oh and, also don't say "but you voted those people in!" because my answer will only be to you; you don't know how voting works. you can't just choose who's going to be the candidates, your best bet is to just find someone who's slightly less worse than the other but you can't be certain they're going to be the best of the best. obviously there's a need for a reform because of this but doing that would cause many people to die and literally nobody could ever be ready for that even if we know it's what has to be done. do you know how much damage riot police would cause? undercover cops? the fbi? a lot. so yeah, just respect native celts. and ps, no, a poc can't be a native celt. thats not how that works and us original native celts have never been black. if you're white with mixed ancestry like italian, spanish, german, or any nord you're an exception because during the invasion and colonization of old britannica the anglos and saxons, norwegian & swedish vikings, and romans invaded. spain is only an exception because of galicia and only if you're from that area.
Here's proof im celtic, by the way. This is after i downloaded my complete raw data from 23 & me and placed it into my true ancestry for results.
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pagepainter · 3 months ago
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Dear parents
Dear Mom and Dad,
You guys will never be able to see this post, but I want to write down how I feel about you guys anyway. Just to get things out of my chest.
Growing up, I never understood why some of my friends have such broken, unrepairable relationships with their parents, until I saw the monsters that emerged from your souls when you guys realized that the color of my soul is different from yours, and I understood why. You wanted me to become someone like you, so you can show off to everyone how marvelous your parentage is. How I can be your trophy daughter. Especially since I'm your first born. And because I couldn't, I wouldn't, you tried to coerce me through various ways and means, only to face an equal force of resistance, if not more.
I used to pity my friends who have turned out so rebellious, hating their parents for what they have made them to be, but now, I can only relate to these friends. We are all trying to grow up to be the person we dream of, but you want to force your dreams on me, because you cannot become the person you wanted to be growing up, so you hope that I could carry that legacy. Dear parents, you have to understand that I am your daughter, but I am not your project.
"I just learned these people only raise you to cage you." Taylor was right. I understand that you guys want the best for me, and you do things for me with good intention, but I find it so hard to feel that from you guys. I really want to give you guys the benefit of doubt, that you guys really meant what was said, that all these things are done out of love, but a huge part of me cannot bring myself to believe that. I know how contradicting you guys can be, always twisting the narratives to your advantage, using phrases like "It's the Holy Spirit" to cover up whatever schemes you have done to get information about me. How can I fight back with that statement? There's no evidence, but it's also a claim that I cannot rebuke. You guys are always changing the rules. Adding more rules. Backtracking on your rules. Giving these rules, but they don't apply to you guys, just me and whoever is affected.
I'm so angry, hurt, and confused, growing up. Now, I'm just feeling indifferent. I've accepted the toxic dynamic in our family. Yet, I find myself crying every time when I see how happy my friends' families are. I just wanted them to see me for who I am. You guys will never understand how detrimental my mental health has been. I go into autopilot mode whenever your presence is around. It's not as bad as last time, because I'm learning how to separate myself from these emotions, prioritizing practicality and logic over emotions. I'm getting better at it, and I want to fully get over it. One day. Consciously telling myself that I have to keep calm and collected despite the anxiety fighting to overwhelm my nervous system. Taking deep breaths while you yell at me, analyzing everything you say so I can point out when you're contradicting yourself. It's working, and I'm glad to see myself taking baby steps to improve.
Your perception of Christian values is so warped that I don't believe in the God you worship at all. Honestly, I have given this religion so many chances, and each time, I'm just greeted with disappointment, and more disappointment. I have decided that I will just take the values in a pragmatic way and build my own understanding upon those values through my church friends and others that I care deeply about. I have my doubts about believing in Christianity, and I will leave it as that. No point trying to get my hopes up anymore. I'm done. Values are values, and I'll just adopt them in a way that's useful and applicable in my life and be a better person.
Lastly, I want to still say that I appreciate you guys for giving me a roof over my head, food to eat, allowance when I had insufficient funds to support myself, taking me to trips to see the other side of the world, paying for my Uni fees, being present at the big milestones in my life — attending my graduations since young, attending my award ceremonies, caring for me in the little ways despite our damaged relationship. But that's as far as I can bring myself to appreciate your efforts. I wish I could give you guys more credit than you deserve, but I've sat down and thought about it for a very long while, and I can't come up with anything else. Part of me is relieved that it remains so. And every time when dad have sit-down talks with me, he would never fail to bring up how the both of you have always been there to attend all the big milestones in my life, but have you guys realized that it's only revolving around my academic life? Like the Asian parents you are, priding yourselves in being the majority ethnic group, feeling so entitled to receiving 'special treatment' as if it's expected. Dear parents, you have to realize that such treatment, is earned. Not given.
I also want to give a huge thank you to everyone that I have met in my life, especially the classmates that I skipped class for just to have heart-to-heart talks at the school rooftop, the friends that supported me to have a mind of my own, to be independent, to fight for what I want, the people that have shown me light and hope when my whole world was dark, the people who never gave up one me, those who told me not to give up on my love for writing, drawing, and sports. You guys have brought me out of my shell to fight, despite knowing what may come, despite knowing I will face multiple defeats. Yet, you guys always show that support in little ways that keep my fire going. I really couldn't have done it without you guys. I wouldn't have been the person I am now. And please don't feel guilty for causing such a separation between my family and I; my relationship with them was already tearing apart since I was 13, and it was broken at 16. Subsequent events are only repeated events that give me a wakeup call, to never be that apologist, to never fall into the trap of becoming the exact version that I have been avoiding my whole life. Sure, these events do create more distance between my family and I, but it also goes to show that they have never changed, despite my efforts to compromise to them. I've tried, I really did. Many times. But now I've given up.
Dear parents, thank you for showing me the kind of person that I would never want to be. To myself, and to others. I can't really say for sure that I love you guys, but I do appreciate you guys.
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haorev · 2 years ago
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It’s 3:40 am, and I can’t sleep bc cats, so this is gonna be a little incoherent probably
A lot of religious restrictions (which are often just cultural taboos but fucking hell if we call them that bc “cultural and religion are separate” suck my dick religion is part of culture) get put in place to keep order and to keep people safe and to mark your community as a separate community from those around you. If you’re part of that community, you do those things or don’t depending on the case (and of course not every person of every religion follows every tenant and commandment and practice bc humans are human and no human can follow all of the “rules” all of the time). If you’re not part of that community, well chances are your community has its own things that they do to stand out.
Also: a lot of people (especially outside of fundamentalist groups and what we consider cults) actively chose to continue practicing their religion or to stop practicing it or to change their religion (and thus, shock horror, take on a new culture). Parents bring their kids to religious services and teach them their religion because you raise your kids in your culture and religion is part of culture. It’s generally considered yknow at least a neutral thing to want your kids to be part of the culture they were born into once they grow up, or at the very least to share the values you taught them (which are hopefully good and helpful for the community).
How about this: if you can’t be normal about people who are not in fundamentalist groups and cults happily practicing a religion, maybe shut the fuck up?
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if someone doesn't want to practice their religion then they can just stop if that's the right choice for them. if a person or other outside force is stopping them, then the blame is on that force and not every single religion on earth. the only exception I can think of is cults that use active manipulation to keep you in, but religion and cult are not interchangeable or mutually inclusive
religious people have the same autonomy to choose their religion as atheists. if someone says "I like practicing my religion and will continue to do so" that is their own decision that they have made themselves. if they want to abide by the limits of their religion, they have the autonomy to make that choice
there are many other traditions you can be born into, for example what you eat or how you dress, and choosing to continue doing those isn't a limit of freedom. choosing to continue your traditions is just as much a choice as choosing to stop
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merlinbingo · 2 years ago
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August Round-Up
We are without frills this month, because trying to open canva crashed my browser twice. I know third time is supposed to be the charm, but I don’t wanna take the chance that it’s actually gonna be ‘third time kills your laptop forever’...
So, if we could all get on with pretending it’s closer to August than October, here’s our double load of stats!
July brought us 42 fantastic fills created by 18 wonderful participants (and one by me, though I don’t remember what it was or when I posted it...). Fics were once again top of the list with 32, but art (3) was edged into third place by fantabulous gif creators (5 fills!), and we also got a beautiful fanvid and a glorious playlist to round things off. Unsurprisingly, most fills were either Merlin/Arthur (20) or gen (12), though Merlin/Gwaine (3) and Merlin/Lancelot (2) have their own share of fans.
As for August, we got 50 fills created by 26 people. 38 fics, six artworks, two gifs, one fanvid, plus the glorious overachievers who decided to do fic and art (one person), and a moodboard and ficlet (one person, but they did it twice!).
On the subject of overachievers, the absolute machine who brought us nine fills in July brought us a further six in August - if you’re who I think you are, you’re well on your way to blacking out a second bingo card, and I am filled equally with awe at your creative output and shame at my own (yeah, those badges I promised wouldn’t be long last time? Turns out they still haven’t materialised...)
Shipwise, it’s the same old story: Merlin/Arthur with 27, gen with 10, and Merlin/Gwaine (2) still plodding along in the background, though this time they were matched by Gwaine/Percival and Merlin/Morgana... The Lancelot/Merlin fills were non-existent this month (if my keyboard did emojis, I’d be sadfacing right now), but we did get a few other rarepairs, including one Lancelot/Will fic - only the fourth work on ao3 to be tagged as such!
Aaaaanyway, enough babbling from me. Please find all of the beautiful fills hidden below the cut, and remember to heed the warnings and practice self care when clicking on those links!
Love, peach x
Gen/No ship
The One Who Will Be King by chaosgenes Rating: General audiences Warnings: background character death Major tags: Baby Arthur Pendragon, Pre-canon, Grief/Mourning Summary: The moment Arthur was born, Uther did not spare him a glance.
The Sword in the Stone by theartsylillipad Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: merlin, merlin bingo, bbc merlin, merlin fanart Summary:
First Snow by demitimelord42 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: fluff Summary: Merlin takes Aithusa to see the snow for the first time
Gwen's pink dress by kairennart Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:
Single dad AU by Ice-mint Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Alternate universe, Uther Summary:
Introspection by Ice-mint Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:
Lady Morgana on Break by monoisbored Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:
Taliesin by thebookluvrr1816 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:
Who is the Monster Here? by archaeologist_d Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply, OC death Major tags: pre-canon, Lamia, OCs, explaination of Lamia's origins Summary: In the Old Religion, there was power and then power, good or bad. But desperate times called for desperate measures. And so, the Lamia were born.
Of Farmers and Mercenaries by tigereyes45 Rating: Teen Warnings: Major character death Major tags: Flash Fiction, Ficlet, Angst, Final Moments, Canon compliant Summary: William of Deira became a mercenary after helping Arthur that fateful day. He wanted to serve him again. Sadly, he never gets the chance.
Gwen/Morgana
melting into you by kirani Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: modern AU, vacation sex, established relationship, light bondage Summary: Morgana has been buried in her latest case for weeks but it's finally wrapped up, so Gwen decides to take her on a little vacation. And if she packed some toys in their bags, well, she doesn't think Morgana will complain.
Gwen/Merlin/Arthur
Something Different by Anonymous Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Female POV pleasure, Sexy new ideas to try, Double Penetration, Caring Lovers, Fluff and Fun Summary: Gwen has some ideas to try with her lovers, Arthur and Merlin. How would it feel if they made love to her the same way they do to each other? How it would feel to have them both inside her at the same time? The three of them give her ideas a try.
Merlin/Freya
To a Better Place by devotedwaywardangel1 Rating: Mature Warnings: Major character death Major tags: Mercy Killing, Angst, Hurt Freya (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Blood and Injury, Summary: Set at the end of S02E09 of BBC Merlin, Freya can't heal and magic will not let her die so she asks Merlin to do the unthinkable
Merlin/Morgana
The Best Laid Plans (Get You Laid Old-Lady-Style) by gwen-cheers-me-up Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Pranks, Humor, Sexual Content, Roleplay, Fluff Summary: Merlin transforms into a naked Dolma in Morgana’s bed as a prank. It does not go the way he expects.
Simplicity by gwen-cheers-me-up Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/non-con Major tags: Tentacles, Eggpreg, Multiple Orgasms, Aphrodisiacs Summary: Morgana has finally figured out how to get rid of Emrys for good. Unfortunately for Morgana, she isn’t immune to her own trap. But maybe that’s not so unfortunate after all

Arthur/Gwaine
it's what my heart just yearns to say, in ways that can't be said by Saurus Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Romance, love confession, canon era, arthur is a soppy bastard Summary: All the signs were there, right before his eyes but Arthur tried so hard to deny it. He thought it must be his imagination, it couldn't be true. He surely, couldn't possibly be in love... Right? or Arthur is a soppy lil shit for one of his Knights.
Lancelot/Will
rise from above by stanzas Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: AU - Canon Divergent, Lancelot lives, Will lives Summary: The first time Lancelot heard Will's name spoken aloud, he was in Merlin's room.
Merlin/Mordred
Call Me Emrys When You Want It To Hurt by MerthurAllure Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Painplay, bdsm, pwp Summary: Mordred loves pain, and Merlin quickly learns he loves giving it to him.
Arthur/Lancelot
Like Honeyed Summer Days by queerofthedagger Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Religious Imagery, Fluff Summary: The point is, Lancelot has never considered himself a religious man, but he is sitting in a clearing, late summer blooming around him, and there is a king lying with his head in Lancelot’s lap, hair spun gold and eyes closed with trust. There is a king lying in his lap, face turned into the palm of Lancelot’s hand, and the small smile quirking his lips is so content that Lancelot fears he will choke on the happiness of it all.
Gwaine/Percival
Will you read to me? by Laevateinn Rating: Mature Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: moodboard, A/B/O, Fluff, Bookstore AU, slice of life Summary: Gwaine and Percival have a nice Sunday morning.
Come on, big boy, tell me what you want. by Laevateinn Rating: Mature Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Underage Major tags: Lingerie, Handcuffs, Topping from the Bottom, College AU Summary: “Gwaine. Gwaine please” The rattle of handcuffs clinking together diverted Gwaine’s attention from where he was kneeling between Percival’s knees.
Merlin/Gwaine
Turn Back - Merlin/Gwaine by tigereyes45 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: angst, let's go back to the start, unwavering trust, Summary: A short video highlighting Merlin and Gwaine's relationship. I edited it from the idea that Gwaine and Merlin would like to turn back time.
Giving Me a Sugar Rush by MerthurAllure Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: PWP, friends to lovers, blowjobs, modern era Summary: Gwaine is a different type of sugar daddy, and Merlin can’t say he’s opposed to it.
Merlin/Arthur
Poetry by thebookluvrr1816 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:
you keep watching my eyes by kairennart Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Pining Arthur, Getting Together, Court Sorcerer Merlin, Fluff Summary: "Come on, attack me as if you mean it." Merlin adjusts his footing into a defensive posture, expecting his taunt to rise something in Arthur. It does. Apart from his words, his eyes are heavy on Arthur’s, his lips red and smug, his hands clenching and unclenching, ready to cast. A soft breeze ruffles his hair. Arthur swings his sword.
love me, love my laundry by @ravenwilds Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Modern Era, Husbands, Fluff, Arthur's late, Merlin hates laundry Summary: Completely unsurprisingly, Arthur's late, Merlin's been left to do all the laundry, and they're probably going to miss their flight.
Another Roomba AU by Nivelle Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Roombas, Alternate Universe - Robots Summary: In which Roomba!Arthur has a sword taped onto him and is chasing Roomba!Merlin who has been equipped with a shield through the palace.
Live for the Hope of It All by queerofthedagger Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Mentioned Ygraine, Fluff Summary: August days, a stealthy plan to make sure that for once, Merlin will take a break, and the heaviness of memory that tends to come with late summer days. Arthur wouldn't change it for the world.
Forgotten Knighthood - Chapter 4 by evaelisaa Rating: Teen Warnings: Choose not to use archive warnings Major tags: Summary: Part 6 of the Knight Merlin series - During a trip where Merlin and Arthur are alone together, Morgana manages to get a hold of Merlin...
The Kissing Fever by Camelots_Daffodil Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Love Potions/Spells, Canon Era, Merlin is Tired, Kissing, Everybody Gets Together Summary: It's spring time in Camelot and you know what that means... love is in the air! Only Merlin thinks that there might be a little too much of it when everyone in the land seems to be unable to stop themselves from kissing whoever is closest. As usual, it's up to him to fix the magical issue before anyone can realise that there's a magical issue that needs fixing.
Nothing Left to Prove by queerofthedagger Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Gym AU, Fighter Merlin, Smitten Arthur, Protective Merlin, Getting Together Summary: Five times Arthur appreciates Merlin's skill, and one time Merlin makes good use of it.
The First Step of Many by Mischel Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Pining Arthur, Fluff, Holding Hands, First Kiss Summary: Arthur is no coward -- then why is it so hard to take Merlin's hand and admit his feelings? And why is it even harder when Merlin catches him pacing and wants to know what's going on?
Almost Accidental by archaeologist_d Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: fluff, dancing, kisses, clumsy Merlin Summary: The first kiss was definitely an accident. The rest of them, not so much.
Playing with fire by Laevateinn Rating: Mature Warnings: Light BDSM, bondage Major tags: Moodboard, shibari, fire play, sub Arthur, dom Merlin Summary: "“Do you trust me?” “I do.” Merlin and Arthur experiment with fire."
A Heart is made to Ache, Break and Heal by royal_spud Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Major tags: unhinged Merlin, emotional hurt/comfort, Angst, Unrequited Love, Betrayal Summary: Merlin's always been the kindest among them, barely able to stand the sight of a dead rabbit. He despised violence and loathed hunting. And flinched at the sound of clanging metal. But when a sorcerer snatches the king and his knights from their bedchambers one calm night, and forces them all to watch him as he rampaged everything and everyone in his way as he searched of them, well kept secrets come spilling out; leaving them to wonder just how well they knew who Merlin was. If he was the same person who smiled as bright as the sun and sung to himself and made flower crowns. The person they'd known, and adored, and some had even grown to love. Or if he was someone else entirely.
Patron of the Arts by archaeologist_d Rating: Mature Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Graphic depictions of violence Major tags: modern au-no magic, merlin as artist, angst Summary: Arthur always loved to draw but when his father refused to allow it, Arthur left it all behind. Until he met Merlin.
don't you think i look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor by Saurus Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Non-Binary Merlin, Masturbation, Lingerie, Sexual Fantasy Summary: Arthur finds an unexpected item of clothing... Who could it belong to he wonders.
Chemistry part 12 by archaeologist_d Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: angst, arthur is a prat, modern AU with magic Summary: The scrawny kid knew more about chemistry than Arthur did. Who knew he’d fall in love with the idiot?
Doctor, can you fix me? by chaosgenes Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Modern AU, Fucking Machines, Bottom Arthur Summary: Arthur thinks there's something wrong with him and visits Dr Oddlove, a recommended sex therapist, who gives him an unorthodox solution.
Floppy Dick by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Smut, Established Relationship Summary: Arthur learns that it's not wise to accept Gwaine's dares. Merlin is a good boyfriend and offers to make him feel better.
Carefully Planned Coincidences by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Fluff and Smut Summary: After watching them pine for ages, Merlin and Arthur's friends decide it's a time for intervention.
Seeking an Alliance by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Porn, First Time, Bottom Arthur, Canon Divergence Summary: To save Camelot Arthur approaches Emrys with an offer of an alliance.
Screw Fear by chaosgenes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Choose not to use archive warnings Major tags: Fear of Heights/Flying, Mile High Club, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering Summary: Merlin is afraid of heights but rides on a plane for work. Arthur, his boss, helps distract him.
Sex Education by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Modern AU, Porn, Gangbang, Roleplay Summary: Arthur teaches his class the wonders of exploring various body orifices.
Dining Out by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Porn, Vampire!Arthur, Immortal!Merlin, Modern AU with magic, Frottage Summary: Arthur needs to feed. Merlin is more than happy to provide.
Drawing by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Porn, Modern AU, Bondage, Edging, Dom Merlin Summary: Merlin shows Arthur various pleasurable drawing styles.
Follow the Rainbow by chaosgenes Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Post-canon, Modern, Public Blowjobs Summary: On a sweltering hot day, the Once and Future King finally returns—and lands in the middle of a Pride Parade. Reunions and frisky times ensue.
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1111jenx · 3 years ago
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Hi jen! I don’t know if you noticed this too I have noticed that with the rise of spirituality and new age practices there is also an increase of these ppl specially the creators being anti vaxxers and honestly it's worrying to me. Like we are entitled to have different opinions but i don't think those two things are unrelated, I mean separating yourself from a more scientific approach to things. I think it may come from defying the status quo or even the obssesion with thinking and being different but I think theres need to be a balance for those two and giving those kind of messages sounds insensitive and ignorant idk maybe I'm looking too much into it but I would love to read your opinion
Hey pretty,
First of all, no you're absolutely right. This can for sure be a sensitive topic but I think we should desensitized it and start discussing about it more. Because as of right now, millions, if not billions of people are expected to be taking the vaccine or has already did.
I'm a firm believer of balance. And as skeptical as I sound, I need proof, for almost everything. (Mercury conjunct Saturn in me bye) I need to see books, to see records, to read extensive studies for me to genuinely believe in something. And I did just that with the vaccine before I myself decided to get my first dose and I have no regrets so far. People need to educate themselves on the matter of the vaccine either, to see how it is not just to save themselves but also others. How the vaccine works is that it would need a herd community to be activated. I know you're already educated on this matter so I won't dive too deep in. But the misconception on how "Oh someone got the vaccine but still got COVID aka it doesn't work." No that's not how it works.
And just like you, I'm extremely concerned with the whole antivax thing I'm ngl. As hippie as I seem, I'm living in the civilization that science builds from ground 0 and everything since the moment I were born was infused with a tint of technology. I hope these antivaxxers know that there are a clear line between blind faith and faith. I have seen creators who have PLATFORMS posting antivax informations that are so damaging and attacking other practitioners personally because "they're not letting natural decide" or something, they're also criticizing other practitioners for their progressive actions and that "they're not truly a believer if they take the vaccine". Now this. THIS. is where I seriously am concerned. It reminds me of nothing but blind extremists in my extended family who worship God and swear off the LGBTQ community and trashing other religions, believing that God is good and our God is the only. It is damaging and is stemmed from nothing but hate.
Faith does not mean you get the chance to put your believes on others. You do not get the chance to MAKE others succumb to what you have faith in. You do not get to choose how to others live and function. You having faith means you have expectations within yourself and the energy you give off. And this is where I completely agree with you regarding the status quo idea, it is indeed a privileged for me to be sitting here typing these words out. Millions died from COVID-19, families have suffered. I'm not taking this vaccine in the time of desperation, I'm taking this vaccine in the time of NEED. I just wish other practitioners should realize how they can't have that mindset where "its them or us" because in this universe, we're all interconnected. And we're truly never alone. So we have to be there for one another.
Thank you for your question:) You started my day right💗
love,
saint jenxđŸȘ
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cienie-isengardu · 3 years ago
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Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.
Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.
"LET US BEGIN!"
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In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.
I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?
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So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?
Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?
Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?
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Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?
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If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).
What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?
Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?
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Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).
That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?
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Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.
Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.
And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)
But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?
Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.
Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!
So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.
Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.
The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).
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At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.
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Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.
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(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)
Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion
Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.
Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.
Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.
and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:
Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?
Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?
Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.
In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:
Raiden: Sub-Zero...
Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.
Raiden': That's why you shall lose.
Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?
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"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"
Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.
But honestly?
The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.
Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:
Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?
Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.
Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.
Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.
Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.
Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??
Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.
Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.
Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.
Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.
Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.
And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:
Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.
Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.
Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?
Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.
Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:
“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”
“Cursed? By whom?”
Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”
Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”
“Yes
 he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain
 which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals
 and the tunnels
 and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”
“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”
“He
 killed a man,” said Ruthay.
“What man?”
“A toll-taker
 one who had given up a life of crime
 one who had been a partner of the man
 you
 seek.”
“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.
“The man was killed
 slowly disemboweled with a sword
 while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder
 the man’s remains
 were dumped into a canal!”
Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”
“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body
 in that way 
 he profaned one of the sacred waterways
 of Yu!”
Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”
Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:
He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.
Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.
The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord
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albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.
So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.
Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.
Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.
Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.
And so, we could see human remains:
put in two coffins on each side of statue
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hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar
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Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)
and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:
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It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.
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Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).
My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.
(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)
As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:
Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.
So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.
Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.
(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)
<><> EDIT <><>
RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS
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knifesxedge · 3 years ago
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hi love im deep in ur art blog for reasons and im SO in love with the fact that ur ghoul has his OWN nickname tattooed on him in party's writing they are SO đŸ„ș was wondering if you wanted to talk a bit more abt ghouls tattoos??? theyre just SO gorgeous and intricately laid out
HI i LOVE u i am KISSING u i would love love love to talk about ghoul’s tattoos đŸ„ș❀
^ yeah ghoul & party have each other’s handwriting tattooed!! for party it’s one of the only tattoos they have & it’s right over their heart (im sure ive mentioned this fact before but idk if ive explicitly noted that it says ‘sunshine’) and ghoul didn’t have the space to put his right over his heart because poison’s kj symbol is there so his is on his upper arm (they ARE soooooooo đŸ„ș i love them)
ghoul’s tattoos are a healthy mix of sentimental ink and things he just thought were beautiful. when he met the rest of the four he didn’t have THAT many tattoos because 1. he was 14 2. he’d only been in the zones for a little under a year and a half at that point but the ones he DID have (aka his oldest tattoos) were his knuckle tattoos (‘freed’ and ‘fuck’ what can i say he was 13), the big raven on his upper shoulder and neck (he started believing in the witch very early compared to other cityborns but yeah that tattoo was both a way of symbolizing his devotion to the witch and a way of marking himself as a killjoy/shedding his past in the city in the way that he considered clearest), the fangs on his hand, two bats on his leg, the zombie bite on the other side of his neck (i could get a little more into this but BASICALLY ghoul being an ex-crow trainee + a cityborn + being the only surviving member of his first crew had a problem with feeling inhuman and a lot of survivor’s guilt and so he really. idk he connected a lot with zombies & frankenstein’s monster and ghosts & the like when he was a runner for dr. d post-his crew’s deaths. he got better about Seeing Himself as a Person especially once kobra + the other two showed up but the fascination remained) (also not tattoo-related but that’s when he chose his name. before that he’d been called ‘sandpup’ by his old crew & he never had a chance to tell them before they passed but he really loved that they used that as a name for him especially with how much he didn’t want to associate himself with the city) (ghoul had A Lot of issues but the difference there is that he worked thru them a lot earlier than the rest of the four) and “I FORGIVE U” on the back of his neck (in remembrance of said former crew).
umm along with that kind of fascination with the undead/feeling that kind of connection are the frankenstein stitches on his wrists (tho thats more of a common hc) and he has this pretty big tattoo of abstracted bones following his vertebrae down his throat and chest that he’s gotten expanded/fixed/touched up over the years. ik i do a lot of b&w doodles but i feel like i’ve been kind of inconsistent about coloring (most of his tattoos are color). pretty sure ive mostly drawn them in green (???) but in my head they’re like a faded light blue using natural skin tone as highlights.
his more sentimental tattoos
let me see if i can outline them here. this might not be exhaustive but i will do my best to list what ive figured out at least thus far:
the two little bats on his right thigh are for his grandmother and little sister. his sister (juliet adele fujikawa, b. april 2009 d. december 2014) was killed in a car crash shortly before he left the city, and likewise, his grandmother (charlotte fujikawa [è—€ć· 捃氋] b. june 1936 d. december 2014) was “moved to retirement housing” at about the same time. that was pretty much the last straw & ghoul left battery city within the week
there’s his crewmates’ symbols on his chest (in order from his right to left: kobra, jet, party) (gotten when their crew had been together for a while. dating this one is based on a couple things: 1. ghoul had been with them for long enough that he felt secure 2. poison and ghoul were friends by this point, or else he wouldn’t have included their symbol and 3. poison’s is over his heart so you can read into that as you will)
text from the graffiti bible on his right calf, as protection for his crew & as a reminder of one of his former friends who was a droid that believed very strongly in destroya’s return
his raygun on his chest (he was pretty proud of the design! this was when he was ~15 or 16) that he had poison’s added to post-sing post-engagement pre-commitment ceremony (so. september 2023) (yes i have my handwritten timeline + my own drawings + my fics out in front of me rn cross-referencing sldkdksksbx!)
one of the girl’s childhood drawings (one she drew of him & her & the stuffed animal he made for her when she was a baby all having a tea party together) from when she’s about 5 or so on his right hip (december 2022 or so)
shooting stars on his upper right shoulder, partially because they’re pretty and blend well with his other tattoos and partially because they’re a reminder of a lot of things, including but not limited to his first night out in the zones seeing the stars for the first time, stories his grandma used to tell him, and right when he’d first joined the fab four and him & kobra sat on the roof during a meteor shower
besides the other one i already mentioned ^ he has more of poison’s handwriting on his left inner forearm — this is also one ive mentioned before but once they’ve been in a relationship for a while they get into the habit of leaving little love notes around for each other! there’s nothing particularly special specifically about the one he got tattooed, besides the fact that it reminded him of poison and they love each other. the text in full (which i don’t think ive ever put anywhere, though im pretty sure ive put fragments of it in fics and art) is as follows:
Good Morning baby <3! I needed new paints, went on a run. Kobra has the Girl @ the Crash Track, Jet’s at the station. call me when you wake up! I love you, be back soon. XO Party <3
he also has the anniversaries of when they started dating and their commitment ceremony (03‱03‱21 and 10‱26‱23 respectively) on the inside of his right wrist ^ !
he’s got a snake wrapping around his left leg that kobra picked out and a hand of cards with the ace of spades face up that jet picked out (and these ofc are because they remind him of his crewmates!!)
he has the phoenix witch tattooed on his ribs, left side, styled vaguely after catholic saints (since that imagery can still be found in the inner zones & especially where ‘joys who still practice that religion gather!)
there’s a version of the eye from the mailbox on his right shoulder, and this one is also a sort of symbol of protection/good luck, to show devotion to the witch and to help protect himself and his crew
the constellation libra on his left forearm! this one was done a little while after he started running transmissions and supplies for dr. d! he liked the connection that astrology — whether he believed in the practice or not is up for debate — gave people to the stars, and the feeling that he had a place in the universe, predestined or not
after charlie is born, he gets a portrait of her (~age 4) with her name and birthday underneath done on his left thigh! (~2036)
and on his lower back, he has a fairly simple tattoo of two crows on a wire with their beaks pressed together (aughhhhhh romance) that he gets done as an anniversary surprise for their 10-year (so. 2033)!
his non-sentimental tattoos are largely based off of images from books, either from dr. d’s collection when he was working as a runner for him or from cherri’s after he joined up with the fab four, or else they’re naturally occurring in the zones!! this includes but is not limited to: california golden poppies on the back of his left shoulder, strawberries around his left bicep (he doesn’t ever have a strawberry until he’s like 35, this one is absolutely based off of a particularly pretty illustration), a thundercloud with lightning on his left elbow, a moon on his right inner bicep, a ring of thorns around his right forearm right under the elbow, a dagger on his inner left calf, and a sun, small bat, cross, rose, ribbon (with the word ‘faith’ in script), and wing on his right forearm and hand, all picked from flash sheets
so yeah! that’s about everything i have to say about ghoul’s tattoos atm but ty ty ty sm for letting me ramble abt them i think about his tattoos so much đŸ˜”â€ïž
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rockofeye · 3 years ago
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Hi! I'm Haitian American and as you are a non-Haitian who practices Vodou, Im curious as to your opinion on this topic. Do you believe Aysiyen se yon pep lwa yo reklame? Many people say that because Haitian are not following Vodou that is why Haiti is in this condition. What do you think?
Hello!
Thanks for your interesting question. I think there are a few ways to look at this.
I do think lwa yo ap reklame pep ayisyen, but I do not think Haiti is suffering because Haitians are not serving the lwa. I fully believe that Haiti is suffering under the long term destabilization brought on by colonization and the continual reach of US and other Western superpower imperialism.
Religion and spirituality do have a part in that. Haiti has consistently been bombarded with messages that Vodou is evil/bad/the reason the country is suffering for a very long time, and it got seriously amped up after the earthquake with well-known religious figureheads in the country and outside it declaring that the earthquake was punishment for people serving the lwa. It has been ugly, and with the rise of the Protestant prosperity gospel nonsense and constant stream of missionaries and religious voluntourism, it continues to be ugly and to exploit the most vulnerable in the country. There are megachurches in the capital that promise people a meal if they renounce their lwa and convert on the spot. I imagine that if you are hungry and without means to get food for you and maybe your children, it seems like a good idea. So...that religious colonization has a big part to play.
With all that in mind, I do not believe the lwa punish for those things or for people not serving their spirits. I have seen the exact opposite happen with my own eyes. Someone I know quite well who has served the lwa since before I was born converted a few years ago due to her boyfriend being a Protestant. Good reason? I don't know, but she made the choice she thought best. During a ceremony under a tree that is very important to our lineage, she got possessed by one of her lwa who came sobbing and grabbed hold of the pye bwa/gwo poto mitan. After that Ogou arrived and spoke with her. He was sad, but he told her she always had a place with him and could return any time she wanted.
Similarly, I've watched the lwa speak to a Haitian who was second generation removed from Vodou (his parents were vehemently against Vodou and he was raised Protestant. A particular lwa looked him in the eye and said 'it's not your fault, you are not responsible, and if things were different you would be here in a different capacity'. It was pretty moving and was a window into the complex understanding the lwa have of their people and of life in general.
I think in the context of your question, it's also worth thinking about our ideas and preconceptions about punishment and the lwa. It's super easy to let ourselves buy into this idea that the lwa are going to smack us or are just waiting to smack us, but I do not believe that is true and it is not what I have seen at all.
Instead, when people do not do what the lwa determine we need for our own betterment, what we tell them we're going to do for them, etc they're not so much getting smacked as they are removing themselves from the influence of the lwa and limiting what the lwa can do for them and even what the lwa are willing to do for them. Even in doing whatever the worst thing you could think of to displease the lwa, they don't lift their hand...they just accept that we do not want what they want and so they become quiet, still, and retreat until we change our minds or whatever.
That's not to say there are not consequences to our actions, but they are consequences we bring on ourselves that fall from our hands and not the hands of the lwa. I've seen things ranging from a lwa looking someone in the eye and telling them that they are currently on their last chance and if they don't change, the lwa will no longer be able to help them to a spirit coming down in a pre-kanzo ceremony and telling someone who was to be made asogwe that they could not take up the asson because they had not yet done what they had promised that spirit to a lwa looking someone in the eye and telling them that the violent death of a family member was preventable, if only they had not broken the very oaths that protected them.
Those are hard things, but lwa yo pa egri...they offer a way out if we are willing to do the work. Even for the person who lost a family member, the lwa had ways for them to move forward. It couldn't bring the family member back but what it could do was prevent that from ever happening again. Men vreman yo pa egri. When we suffer our consequences, they suffer too. They grieve with us and grieve when we are unable to do what is in our best interests. I have never ever seen them turn someone away, not even when a person has betrayed them in the deepest most jaw-dropping way. There is always a chance to do things differently.
For Haiti in general, I think they suffer there too. As I am sure you understand, the situation in Haiti is so complex and multilayered, and it can't be boiled down to folks not serving the lwa. The lwa can do a lot, but the forces of corruption and imperialism are massive and have so crushed the power of the people. Millions and millions of foreign dollars have been invested in continuing to oppress the country while the country remains incredibly rich but without distribution of the vast resources available.
On an individual level, the tide is shifting and people are grasping on to their roots in different ways which ultimately will change their futures. My husband's best friend is Protestant, but he comes from a family who have served the lwa. For years, he's been dead set against serving the spirits and yet that has changed recently with the lwa calling him home...he's dreamed of the djevo and initiation and is going to make that happen. Another friend is a manbo but stopped serving the lwa after a falling out with her spiritual parent, but she was in the temple with us this summer for the first time in years and years and wants her husband and child to follow the lwa into the djevo.
Bit by bit things shift, which changes the larger currents which in turn changes Haiti. The lwa see all things and can see all outcomes, and they have a vision that far surpasses what we can grasp. They know how the proverbial story progresses, and yo pap janm kite pitit yo...they will see Haiti through no matter what.
I hope this helps; please feel free to follow up if I can offer more insight.
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seoafin · 4 years ago
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tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go
gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,
but they aren't gojou satoru
gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃
the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards
and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀
ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach
randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether
so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then
maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,
and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)
it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus
so the zenin family tree is sth like :
brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi
so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation
[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi
naobito → other brothers, naoya
ougi → maki, mai
but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)
tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse
if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it
ćˆæ‹ = literally : first love, or puppy love
恋 = romantic love/ deep longing
i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately
that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that
but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction đŸ˜¶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial
i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind
hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀
i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that
i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki
even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan
i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁
since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating
if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,
the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan đŸ€” ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)
BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)
lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore
akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3
when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it
anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - đŸ±
YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????
honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍
DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.
i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......
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dreamersleeps · 4 years ago
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Helloo! I really liked your last post on Endeavor being Ra and all of your posts about myths. It reminded me of something someone told me once. They said that myths are intriguing since they teach us lessons. The gods act no different than us. They make mistakes and these things are told through stories. One of the things they told me was how underworld myths usually mean to accept the past. Your post makes think that it represents Endeavor accepting the past and then being born again.
Hello hello, I am really happy to know that you really liked the Endeavor and Ra post, including my other ones! Thank you for sending in your comments, they’re very interesting. Before anything else, I’d like to apologize for responding so late. I took some extra time to think about how I wanted to reply to your comments. This post ended up becoming super long as well (mostly because of the images). 
As you state, I love reading through myths and stories because the majority of them contain lessons for us. You are right when you state that the gods act no different than us, and because of that they make mistakes. Although the numbers who worship and take part in some of these polytheistic religions have greatly diminished over the course of history, in the present time we like to explore these stories and continue to be influenced by them. It is because of their human mistakes that sometimes we even relate to these gods and goddesses. These stories capture our imagination and I’m sure plenty of us have once had daydreams of being a demigod or another mythical figure/creature. 
I do think that the High End vs Endeavor fight was a pivotal moment where Endeavor confronts himself, begins to face the past, and is thus “born again.” The depiction of Hawks and Endeavor’s quirks combined together, of flaming wings had a phoenix like imagery to it. 
Although Endeavor is “born again” it of course does not mean that he is free from all the horrible things he did to his family. It does not mean a new, fresh start. I think that him being “born again” here represents symbolically that he has made an internal change of mind, accepting a different perspective (although to what extent is up for debate). Phoenixes do not d/ie and resurrect once. Similar to how the sun rises and sets everyday, the phoenix lives a cyclical life of d/eath and rebirth. 
I did not know that underworld myths can be tied with accepting the past. If that is true than it definitely does relate back to some of the things I was talking about in my Ra post. So yes, the High End vs Endeavor fight was a very important moment for Endeavor. In a sense, he is “born again” but not with the fresh start it suggests. If he has begun to accept the past what does this mean and how might the next step look like? 
As readers, we all bring very different past experiences and beliefs to the table, and that’s the thing about life. We all think differently. The majority of people have valid reasons as to why they think they do, however I am very much against all the attacking, insulting and discourse that have emerged over Endeavor’s character. 
Personally, on the topic of redemption: I believe that Endeavor will most likely not be redeemed. This is something that he too also believes. However at the same time while we may have opinions, the question of redemption is not for us to really answer. We are mere observers. 
I’ve wanted to do a close read of a certain group of chapters during the Internship Arc for a while. Of course if you don’t agree with what I have to say here or are not interested, than that’s fine. This “analysis” is not written in defense of Endeavor but to take a closer look at how Horikoshi’s been developing and writing him. If anything, please take any excitement you may detect in my writing as my love for “analyzing” and sharing my thoughts.
Chapters 249 through 252 are important chapters after the High End vs Endeavor fight that delve further in to his thoughts and his family’s thoughts as well. You can do a close reading of many of the pages in these chapters but I will only focus on some of Endeavor’s own inner thoughts. 
Unfortunately, since I can not read the raw Japanese text, I’m building everything on top of the “official” English translations so please keep that in mind. If the nuances in the translations are off or lost in translation, then my interpretations may be “wrong.” (Btw, I’m only like 95% sure that the panels I’m using below are all from the official English translation). 
Let’s begin. The two panels below are from Chapter 249 titled “The Hellish Todoroki Family.”
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“I’m trying to make amends... going forward.” The “going forward’ definitely suggests that there was some sort of turning point either during the High End fight or shortly after. The definition of amends in the dictionary is:
reparation for compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind
“It might be too late... but I fall asleep every night thinking about... what I can do for my family.” Endeavor expresses that he falls asleep every night thinking about what he can do for his family. We can only take him for his word but keep in mind that these are his inner thoughts. He isn’t talking to anyone but to himself. I acknowledges that it may be too late for him to do anything, all the damage he’s caused. Despite realizing that there’s a good chance that there’s nothing he can do to amend anything, he still thinks about it.
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“Lately, it’s been the same dream. The wife and kids, looking happy... at the dinner table. But I’m... never there with them.” Here he states that he’s been dreaming the same dream. This means that it’s been heavy on his mind. In his dream, his family is happy and he is not there with them. Perhaps he believes that their happiness can only become a reality if he is taken out of the picture. 
Now let’s jump to Chapter 252, titled “The Unforgiven.” These panels occur after Natsuo is kidnapped by Ending, and he is rescued by the teamwork of Bakugo, Midoriya and Shouto after Endeavor hesitates and fails to do so. 
Endeavor had his flames on while they’re after Ending but he gets rid of them right before or when he catches Natsuo and Bakugo. So Endeavor usually has his flames on and that’s how we saw him depicted until around the High End fight and onwards, where we see him more without his flames. 
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(This has nothing to do with the analysis but this has to be one of my favorite interactions between Endeavor and Bakugo. He does not hesitate to make comments and remarks... hahaha, gets me every time.) 
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“Natsuo. Believe it or not... I was never trying to neglect any of you.” Well first of all, Endeavor saying that he was never trying to neglect any of his children is a big slap in the face and to be honest I’m appalled that he states that. Ultimately, it may be absolutely one hundred percent true that he means what he states, however whatever his thoughts may have been, Endeavor neglected them. Period.
Let’s look at Endeavor’s body language. His eyes are cast towards the ground as he can not meet Natsuo’s eyes when he gives his “confession” and it looks like his upper body is bowing towards Natsuo. 
Just in general based on what I’ve read and from my own experiences, bowing is practiced for the purposes of respect, courtesy or apology. Typically it is the younger person who bows to the older person or someone from a “lower” position bowing to someone from a “higher” position. Part of Natsuo’s expression of surprise in the left most panel probably has to do with both the words that are coming out of his father’s mouth and the fact that Endeavor is bowing his head down towards him. 
“But... all I could do was blame others and dodge responsibility. WIth Toya too... I might as well have killed him myself!” Here he admits that for a while he’d place the blame on others and dodge responsibility, including with what happaned to Touya. He admits that he may as well have killed Touya himself. Personally when I first was reading this, it was actually very interesting to see Endeavor confess these things. Isn’t it kind of surprising to see that he’s admitting to all this instead of continuing to be a character who ignores and refuses to recognize faults and consequences of his actions? Or is it just me. 
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Natsuo responds with “Didn’t neglect us...? So what...? Toya has always told me everything. It’ll be a cold day in hell... before I forgive you. Cuz I’m not as caring as Shouto.” Natsuo states that “it’ll be a cold day in hell” before he forgives Endeavor. A “cold day in hell” is an idiom meaning: the time of occurrence of an event that will never happen. It looks like he’s kind of smiling probably at how absurd his father’s confession sounds and his eyes are tearing up, a reaction to his sudden confession. He brings up Touya and the estranged state that their family had been living since for possibly as long as he could remember. 
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“Even so... Even so... you keep showing up for Fuyumi right? And for your mom’s sake?” Here Endeavor’s addressing Natsuo’s statement claiming that he’s “not as caring as Shouto.” Forgiveness is one of those things we are told that we need to do at some point and if we don’t, that it says something about our character. The one who forgives is the one who has had wrong done to and it takes a lot for someone to give forgiveness after all that has been done. So here, Natsuo says that he can not forgive Endeavor because he is not as caring as Shouto but I feel like there’s also a part of Natsuo that feels like he could be a bad person if he can not forgive. 
Endeavor’s response is to tell him that despite what Natsuo thinks of himself, the fact that Natsuo continues to show up and try to do things that he doesn’t want to do because he cares about Fuyumi and his mother speaks otherwise. Notice the faded background in this panel as well. Btw, here we can see that Endeavor is indeed kneeling in front of Natsuo. They both are sitting on the ground, together, close to eye level but not quite. 
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“Your sister loves the idea of being a big happy family... because... that’s exactly what I ruined. She wants that back... she’s so eager to fix everything. And that’s why YOU’RE trying at all. Because you care about how she feels right...?” Each of the Todorokis have different feelings and perspectives about Endeavor. For example, Fuyumi wants to be a “big happy family” which Endeavor acknowledges and claims responsibility for ruining. Even though Natsuo may not want what Fuyumi hopes for, he still comes to visit home despite if Endeavor is there because he cares about his sister. 
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“Because you ARE caring. So...” Endeavor states that Natsuo is a caring person. He’s been watching what Natsuo will do for Fuyumi and his mother because of how much he cares about them. Another thing that stands out to me in the English translation is that Endeavor says, “Because you are caring” not just “You are caring.”
Shout out to the guy in the car (o_o)
“You’re getting yourself to be able to forgive him. Because you’re so caring.” In response to Endeavor’s counter that, no Natsuo IS caring, Natsuo responds to this by thinking back to Midoriya’s earlier conversation with Shouto when they were cleaning up the dishes after dinner. Midoriya is someone who does not know about the Todoroki family situation as much as we may but he knows Shouto: his classmate and friend. However, we see that Natsuo overheard those words and I think it made him feel like he wasn’t a good person because he feels like he does not want to or can forgive.
We get a closer angle and view of Natsuo and Endeavor sitting on the ground. Again, the fact that Endeavor is kneeling may be why the guy in the car has the expression they have. So I kind of went looking around to see what the way Endeavor is sitting is called and I think the closest would be the seiza pose. 
Seiza, is the formal way of sitting down based on ancient Japanese standards. In Japanese, Seiza is very aptly translates to “sitting with a correct posture.” In a historical context, the correct posture is defined to have neatly-folded legs and an erect spine. One’s feet must be neatly tucked in place, underneath the body. 
The Japanese consider Seiza with only the highest of regards, as it represents two important values in Japanese culture: courtesy and apology. They believe that Seiza is an essential tool to channel those specific values. 
Another important representation that Seiza upholds in Japanese culture is that it serves as a symbol of apology. Someone who wishes to ask for an apology may place his or her hands in front, with the head lowered down. This form of apology is referred to as “dogeza.” This serves as a position of submission, having one accept his or her mistakes (yabai). 
The picture below is depicting someone in the seiza pose, apologizing. 
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This ties in to how Endeavor and the Todorokis live more “traditionally” compared to other characters. We’ve seen the traditional Todoroki house and Shouto’s dorm room at UA as well. Earlier, we saw Endeavor with his head bowed towards Natsuo and here he is no longer bowing but he is still in the seiza pose: a symbol of courtesy and apology. It’s a physical sign of sincerity and humility. 
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This is how Endeavor is apologizing, even if it is not as direct as some of us would like it to be. And Endeavor tells Natsuo: 
“You don’t have to forgive me.” Endeavor tells Natsuo that he has no obligation to forgive him, even when he is his father. What a way to say it though. “Because you ARE caring. So, you don’t have to forgive me.” It was kind of confusing for me when I first read this chapter. Currently, the only way I can read this is that (1) Endeavor realizes to a certain extent of the hurt and pain that he caused his family and (2) it is because of what Natsuo experienced as a Todoroki and what happened to his brothers, sister and mother that he can not bring himself to forgive his father. He hurts for his family because he cares about them. “You don’t have to forgive me.” 
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We get three panels with Shouto, Bakugo and Midoriya listening in on to this conversation. Notice the white, empty backgrounds in all four panels. Usually this is done to highlight a moment that has gravity and weight. This is them processing what has just been said. The bustling city highway and life fades away and we are left with this moment where time feels like its paused. 
Then Endeavor speaks again: “I’m not looking for forgiveness. Just atonement.” We see Endeavor’s left eye, the side of the face that has been scarred after the High End fight. His right eye, the part of his face that has remained unchanged is hidden behind the speech bubble with the words, “Just atonement.” 
Seeing as how Horikoshi likes to intentionally place speech bubbles to hint at something from time to time, I’m wondering what this particular placement might mean. I will touch on this later again, but Endeavor has a habit of hiding and standing off to the side when it comes to his family and past. Additionally, this is the first time we’re looking at Endeavor’s face from the front and not from the side during this conversation with Natsuo (excluding the panel from the first page from this chapter when he’s holding Natuso and Bakugo before the conversation begins). 
What is atonement? According to the first definition that comes up on Google: 
reparation for a wrong or injury
In general religious contexts, it is: 
reparation or expiation for sin 
In Christian theology, it is: 
the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ
So in religious contexts: to receive forgiveness there must be a sacrifice which “atones” for the sin (tastethehoney).
Basically, what I’m trying to point out with the latter two definitions is that this word is often used in religious contexts. I’m assuming that Endeavor is the one referred to as the “The Unforgiven” in the title of this chapter and I think that it’s very interesting that Endeavor’s fire quirk is called “hellflame,” which I’m pretty sure that I can safely say is in reference to the Judeo-Christian/Western concept of hell. 
(Forgive my choice of using a simplified statement here but for the purposes of getting a point across...) They say that those who are not forgiven burn in hell.
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“Wow. You got a real way with words... all of a sudden! I know how happy it makes sis, having us all together! But... when I see your face... Those memories come rushing back.” Natsuo’s reply comes from Endeavor’s sudden display of apologizing. And as Natsuo correctly points out, they’re still just words. Words do not mean anything unless actions come with them. He mentions how hard it is for him because the “memories come rushing back.” Even though the life they live now is different from the past, the past keeps coming back. 
“Why do I gotta be the one to come around? Atonement? How’re YOU gonna make that happen?” Again, when someone apologizes or is looking for forgiveness, the person who was wronged or hurt has to come to a certain place to forgive. As we’ve already established, Endeavor is not looking to be forgiven. So this could be Natsuo’s reply to Endeavor’s claims that he wants to change and be better, because it still kind of requires the other party to “come around” as well. Here Natsuo also asks about atonement. Endeavor can not turn back time and do things differently, what’s done has been done. So, how can Endeavor atone, and what will it look like? 
Let’s skip a couple pages to when Endeavor and Natsuo arrive home. 
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“I’ve let you shoulder all of that. . . and I stood by while you worked hard. But it’s okay now.” This is referring to how Fuyumi has been planning on welcoming her mother back home. Endeavor states that he’s been standing off to the side, perhaps there is a note of apology as he talks about how Fuyumi’s been working hard by herself. Then he states, that “it’s all okay now.” 
“It’s always the same dream. My whole family’s there, but not me.” So, Endeavor’s thinking back to his dreams of his family’s happiness. He believes that they can only be happy if he’s not there. 
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“Because I’m building a new house for you all. One that makes sense for your commutes. And one where you can give your mother a warm welcome back.” He states that he’s building them a new house. One where they can welcome their mother back. This is Endeavor’s idea of what “atonement” might begin to look like 
“If I really care how they feel...” He wants to respect their feelings, and not do something because HE wants to. 
“I’ll remain here.” It seems that Endeavor believes that one way he can “atone” for his family is to remove himself physically from their lives. 
Through this post, am I claiming that Endeavor will be redeemed? No. However, let’s look at what redemption means. According to the first two definitions that comes up on Google, it is: 
the action of saving or being saved from sin, error or evil
or
the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment or clearing a debt. 
There really is not a way Endeavor can “pay the debt” for all the hurt and pain he’s caused. 
So that was a lot but I’m going to point out some things here. Yes, Endeavor is in a position where he is acknowledging the past, and he seems to have begun taking more responsibility for it. He states that he is not looking for forgiveness and is only looking for atonement. However, similar to how he neglected his family because he was running away from the blame and did not want to accept the responsibility due to his actions, he is still in a way running away from it. His idea of “atoning” includes removing himself physically from his family’s lives, partially because he wants to be considerate of his family’s feelings and partially because he believes that they can only be happy if he’s not there. He could be right, but I disagree. 
As many others have stated before, it seems that part of the answer to atonement lies with Todoroki Touya. As I suggest in the Ra post, there were two outcomes of the High End vs Endeavor fight: 1) Endeavor, the public hero establishing himself as the Number One Hero and 2) Todoroki Enji as a father beginning to accept the past and its responsibilities (again, although to what extent is debatable). 
The fight concludes with Endeavor’s first official meeting with his son, Touya as Dabi. To accept and address the past and its responsibilities, Endeavor’s been taking a passive approach to “atone” partly because he’s kind of treating the past as only the past. 
In Chapter 290, titled “Dabi’s Dance,” where we get the Touya reveal, Dabi finally is able to call Endeavor out: "You were finally number one! It’s all you ever wanted! But it must’ve weighted on you, right?! Or was all the praise and admiration like chicken soup for your soul?! When at long last, you could stare your kids in the eye... didja finally start to feel the warm and fuzzy bonds of family?! You must’ve thought, ‘As long as I face the future, I can be better!’ I can tell you’re at a loss for words, so here’s the answer!” 
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Being Touya, Dabi’s existence brings the past right back to the present. Endeavor can not keep responding in a passive way, dodging the past even if it weighs heavy on his mind and heart. 
I suppose this is where the real test of atonement begins. 
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foryourdiary · 3 years ago
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[ ZENDAYA, SHE/HER, CISFEMALE ] — [ GRACE MARSHALL ] is a child of [ ZEUS ] with the power of [ AEROKINESIS ] . they were born in [ 1996 ] and have been in nemean lion since [ 2015 ] . with the change, they [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ] the [ AMBASSADOR ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ CHATTING ON INSTAGRAM LIVE OR PRACTICING ROUTINES ] . if you’d like to meet them try the [ MOON ] building . —  bunny / she/her / EST / 18+ / @nlupdates
tw: religion and religious discussion
grace is born to a mother who has an affair in a fit of exploration in doubting the quiverfull lifestyle she’s signed up for. grace is her firstborn and her mother knows that she’s signed up for years of having children. she’s grateful for grace, but she doesn’t think she wants anymore.
she decides to get a divorce, scraping together aid from family due to her husband having all the financial control, but she manages to get out and takes grace and moves far away to start a new life with barely any money in her savings or any marketable skills.
when they settle in, grace’s mom takes up two different waitressing jobs to make ends meet. she’s busy, but grace is never lacking in love and support, especially not when she discovers her love of dance.
elaine marshall works her ass off to support grace’s passion, something she seems a natural at, like she floats on air, like the air around her listens to everything she says.
grace is 12 when she accidentally makes herself float, and in a panic, can’t bring herself back down. her mother finds her daughter hovering at the ceiling, and finally tells grace her father is zeus.
grace decides right then and there to separate her powers from her dance, being careful not to use it so she doesn’t outshine her peers when she knows she could out leap and out twirl them all.
instead, she channels her powers by starting to practice aerial silk as well, something she doesn’t pursue competitively, but just for fun, a chance to use her powers.
she’s 14 when elaine marshall meets diana wan when she’s serving diana and her daughter vera at one of the restaurants where she works. it’s essentially love at first sight.
it’s a sign that it’s probably fate when the two realize both of them have children with zeus around the same age, and it’s something that makes vera and grace bond as sisters almost immediately when their mothers get married, the two taking elaine’s last name of marshall.
grace continues to excel in the world of dance, but decides to make the move to nemean lion anyway, building her social media following.
now she posts youtube videos of her dancing, and competes when she can, but after some cries of her having an unfair advantage, despite her assurances that she doesn’t, she’s stepped back from the competitive scene a bit. now she’s pursuing just straight up performing, and being a social media star.
personality:
affectionate
diligent
humble
grateful
decadent
fanciful
reticent
headcanons:
very much carries herself like she’s always walking on air.
bisexual
likes to own expensive things but is grateful to own them and doesn’t think she’s better for it
HATES the idea of people thinking she’s talented because of her powers and not just because she is
fifteen minutes early to EVERYTHING
has never touched a drug or drink in her life
still feels a bit silly vlogging in public but is otherwise confident
potential connections:
disclaimer: i am not interested in plotting with or interacting with members who are under the age of eighteen. sorry <3 anyone wishing to do anything romantic with grace should be over the age of twenty. just a personal boundary of mine, thank you for understanding.
ride or die bestie
a dance partner
a will they/won’t they sexual tension sort of situation
grace’s biggest fan/most supportive friend; literally does NOT miss a performance
a manager for grace
a rival
i’m open to so many things let’s chat!
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lifeofresulullah · 3 years ago
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The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): Before His Birth, His Birth and His Childhood
The Prophet is Under the Care of Abdulmuttalib, his Grandfather
When our Holy Prophet (PBUH) lost his mother at the age of six, his elderly grandfather took him under his care.
Abdulmuttalib, the leader of the Quraysh, had his share of the light of Ahmad. That light (noor) caused him to earn high merits and attributes.  Excellent traits like a bright face, kind words, shyness, gentleness, and a superior code of conduct were added to his height, large head, and grandiose appearance.  He was patient, clever, thoughtful, chivalrous and generous. Even animals were not exempted from his charity and generosity. He would even think about the hungry animals and birds on the mountains.
That light (noor) caused him to earn high merits and attributes.  Excellent traits like a bright face, kind words, shyness, gentleness, and a superior code of conduct were added to his height, large head, and grandiose appearance. Even animals were not exempted from his charity and generosity. He always thought and was concerned about the ones that roamed with hunger and thirst on the mountain tops.
He was one of the fortunate people who had not separated from the path of light that was in between the vast darkness of the age of ignorance. He was very devoted to Allah and believed in the hereafter. Thus, he did not hesitate to place his most beloved son underneath a knife so that he could fulfill the promise that he had made to Allah. He would have sacrificed his son if the Qurayshis had not intervened. He would distance himself from the ugly rituals of the Age of Ignorance and would also prevent others from participating. At the same time, he would prevent others from the horrible practice of burying infant girls alive. He would always abstain from alcohol and adultery and would try to avert the occurring torture and injustice in Mecca with all his might.
He deeply enjoyed entertaining guests. He would pay close attention to his relatives and would show them compassion and loving kindness. Because of this wonderful quality, the Qurayshis would refer to him as “Ibrahim the Second”.
When Ramadan entered, he would retreat to the cave of Hira and would be preoccupied with worshipping; he was the first to have started this practice.
At the same time, this elderly grandfather knew what loving a child and grandchild was like. It was a great pleasure to love a grandchild as sweet and immaculate as the Master of the Universe (PBUH).
Abdulmuttalib truly loved his grandson who disseminated light everywhere. He sheltered our Holy Prophet (PBUH) like a delicate nestling in between his affectionate wings. He did not want to go anywhere without him. Even at this age, our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) behavior was no different than that of an enlightened person. Immediately, everyone would notice this extraordinary circumstance wherever he went. In fact, from time to time, Abdulmuttalib would first consult with his grandson before he provided any answers to the questions asked during meetings and conversations.
At that age, the Prophet was like a sincere friend of his old grandfather, a sympathetic ear and a trustable consultant. However, he always acted respectfully toward his grandfather.
Only he was allowed to sit on the seat of his grandfather!
A mat would almost always be laid out for Abdulmuttalib upon the shadow of the Kaaba’s wall. None of the children would get on top of this mat. Instead, they would sit around it and wait until their fathers came.
Abdulmuttalib would not take any of his children on this mat except for his grandson whom he would hug and place alongside himself. Our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) uncles would always want to separate him from this mat; however, their father would hinder them and say:
“Release my son. By Allah, in the future, his reputation and glory are going to be great”.
He would then indicate his everlasting love for his venerable grandson by placing him alongside himself once more while gently rubbing his back. Nobody other than our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) had the courage to wake Abdulmuttalib up while he was sleeping. And nobody was able to enter Abdulmuttalib’s personal room without permission except for our Holy Prophet (PBUH).
The elderly grandfather would have his radiant-faced grandson sit next to him or on his lap at the dining table. He would feed him the most delicious portion of the meal and would not allow the meal to begin until he came.
When the Prophet was a bit late!
One day, the Master of the Universe’s grandfather sent him to go look for his missing camel. When our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was running slightly late, his grandfather was overcome with worry that he was lost. His sadness could easily be read on his face. He immediately ran to the Kaaba and opened his hands to pray to the Supreme Creator. He begged, “My Lord, please return my Muhammad back to me!”
A little while later, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) suddenly appeared with the camel right next to him. His grandfather happily hugged him and said “my unique grandson, dear, I was so sad and worried about you. I bawled so much that I will never have you leave my side and send you somewhere on your own from now on”. Indeed, Abdulmuttalib did not refrain from following his grandson like a shadow until his death.
What did the Yemeni ruler, Saif bin dhi Yazan, say to Abdulmuttalib
Abdulmuttalib, who loved our Holy Prophet (PBUH) wholeheartedly, was away from him for a short period of time only once during his life.
The Yemeni monarch, Saif bin Dhiyazan, recaptured his father’s country from the Habashis and occupied the throne in the city of Gumdan. Tribal chieftains were coming from all four sides of Arabia to congratulate him.
A committee representing Mecca that was headed by Abdulmuttalib was supposed to go to Gundam. For this reason, by leaving Mecca, Abdulmuttalib was going to be far away from our Holy Prophet (PBUH).
Following their long journey, Saif bin Dhiyazan accepted the Meccan committee upon their arrival to Gundam. Abdulmuttalib received permission from the Emperor to mention his high merits and his father who had been an auspicious ruler. He made the following connection to specify and distinguish his committee:
“We are the people of this nation that Allah has made inviolable. We are the ministrants of the Baytullah (the Kaaba)”.
This statement grabbed the monarch’s attention, therefore he asked, “Oh smooth-spoken person, who are you?”
Abdulmuttalib answered, “I am Hashim’s son, Abdulmuttalib”.
Saif was interested in more. He said joyfully and excitedly, “So, you are my sister’s son”.
Abdulmuttalib said, “Yes.”
Upon hearing this, Saif took a greater interest in Abdulmuttalib and wanted him to come closer. He then said, “I learned that we are related. I am very happy with your visit. You are worthy of being treated very hospitably and of being conversed with day and night. You are a very honorable and esteemed people”.
Saif did not settle on those complimentary words. He proved that what he was sincere by entertaining Abdulmuttalib as a guest in his palace for a month.
The days in the palace were always spent by conversing. Saif had learned about the attributes of the forthcoming Prophet from the Holy Books and was finding some clues from his conversations. One day, he discreetly called Abdulmuttalib during a break so that no one would notice. He wanted to speak with him. When Abdulmuttalib arrived next to him, he said, “Oh Abdulmuttalib, “I am going to entrust a secret to you and I believe that this secret is related to you. We have been hiding this very great and important news that I have found in a book”.
Abdulmuttalib asked, “What is it?”
Saif then unveiled his secret: “It is probable that he is a living child. He is going to be or has been born in the region of Tihama, which is on your side of the country. He has a mole in between his shoulder blades. His grandfather and uncle will take him under their care when both of his parents die. He will show hospitality to both his friends and helpers and will cause his enemies to suffer from contempt. He is going to conquer the most prosperous places and be the people’s guide and leader until Armageddon. He will remove false religions, eliminate idol worship, and worship the Compassionate Lord. His words will solve impasses and his work will be based upon foresight and justice. He will always order for goodness to be done, will do good deeds, and will prevent others from committing misdeeds”.
Abdulmuttalib was overcome with curiosity and excitement and wanted the Ruler to further explain and to further open this secret. He said, “Oh, Emperor! May your life be long, your reign continuous, and your glory be great. Could you further describe this child?”
After the Emperor listed the other signs and proofs he said, “Oh, Abdulmuttalib. It means that when all these signs are considered, that you are probably the grandfather”. Abdulmuttalib immediately prostrated from happiness.
This time, it was the Emperor’s turn to be curious and puzzled. He asked, “Oh Abdulmuttalib! Did you sense anything from what I have told you?”
Saif was happy that he had not been mistaken and said, “Protect your grandchild very carefully. The Jews are enemy to him. Protect him so that they will not harm him. Nevertheless, Allah is not going to give his enemies the chance or the possibility to do so. According to what I have found and learned in the ancient books, Yathrib (Medina) is going to be his place of emigration and he is going to receive much help there”.
Both the Emperor and Abdulmuttalib were relieved for having solved a great impasse.
Saif bin Dhiyazan was heralding our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) advent as a Prophet.
A while later, the Emperor saw off the Qurayshi committee to Mecca by treating them with immense respect and honor and giving them generous gifts. Abdulmuttalib’s gifts were far more in number than everyone else’s. After he bid them farewell, the Emperor said, “I would like to you inform me of the changes that are seen in the child’s condition every year”.
However, in less than one year after this conversation, Saif bin Dhiyazan passed away without being able to receive any further news from the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) grandfather.
On their journey back, Abdulmuttalib’s companions asked him why the Emperor had given him more gifts and showed him more respect and kindness. He comforted them by saying, “Do not be jealous. There is a certain reason for this”.
When Abdulmuttalib arrived in Mecca after a month of separation, he hugged his radiant grandson with longing and tried to rid his pain of separation with the sweetness of having been reunited.
The Prophet, a means of “Mercy”
Our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) was still under his grandfather, Abdulmuttalib’s care.
Mecca and its surroundings were suffering from terrible hardship and famine due to the drought.
Abdulmuttalib, who understood his grandson’s degree of importance, took him and his son, Abu Talib, to the Abu Qubays Mountain. The Qurayshis were coming right behind them.
Abdulmuttalib turned his face towards the Kaaba and lifted our Holy Prophet (PBUH) towards the sky three times and begged, “My Lord! Gladden us by sending rain for the sake of this child”.
The supplication that was done out of respect for the Master of the Universe (PBUH) was accepted. Raindrops instantly mixed with the people’s and the gentry’s teardrops of happiness.
All of these occurrences further increased the love and attachment the grandfather had towards his grandson and strengthened his conviction that his grandson would become an exalted person in the future. And it was for this reason that he showed the utmost care to this radiant grandchild.
DEATH OF ABDULMUTTALÄ°B
Abdulmuttalib, who had become considerably old, fell ill one day. And his illness was gradually increasing its level of intensity.
He understood that his emigration to the afterlife was near. However, he had one necessary duty left to fulfill: To choose a dependable person that he could entrust our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) to.
For this reason, he called all of his sons. Abu Lahab came into his mind. However Abu Lahab was a coldhearted and merciless individual, therefore Abdulmuttalib said “no” to himself.
How about Abbas? No, he could not be, either. He had so many children and could only find time for them.
How about Hamza? He could not accept him either. Hamza was young and interested in hunting. He would not be able to to show due attention and care to our Holy Prophet (PBUH).
Very well. Then how about Abu Talib? He had found his radiant grandson’s guardian! Although Abu Talib’s assets were little, his compassion and mercy were ample. Only he deserved taking our Holy Prophet (PBUH) under his care.
Abdulmuttalib did not neglect asking our Holy Prophet (PBUH) for his opinion. He asked, “Which of your uncles’ custody would you like to be under?” Upon hearing his grandfather’s question, our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) got up from his spot and went to embrace his Uncle Abu Talib. And it was in this manner that he expressed whom he would like as his guardian.
Abdulmuttalib was happy that he had preferred the best candidate. Afterwards, he turned to Abu Talib and said, “I am entrusting him to you. He is a Divine trust. Promise me that you will protect him inspite of everything, even if it is at the cost of your own life so that I will not have to worry and my heart can be content”.
Abu Talib, who was deeply touched that our Master (PBUH) had favored him, responded to his father with teary eyes:
“Do not worry, my dear father. You can be assured that I will prefer him over my own children and my life. I promise that I will not allow anyone to harm him as long as I live”.
Abdulmuttalib was pleased a lot by his son’s statement and his eyes were filled with tears of happiness.
...And Muhammad (pbuh) was delivered by Abdulmuttalib to Abu Talib, his uncle.
Abdulmuttalib, who was unable to be saved from his afflicted illness, passed away from this world as an elderly man having exceeded 80 years and who was not yet full of his grandson’s happiness, love, and affection 
The date was 578 AD, eight years after the Year of the Elephant (Elephant Year).
The Meccan market was closed for days on account of Abdulmuttalib’s death. The Qurayshis and all those who loved and respected him mourned for days. His corpse was passed from one hand to the next in the highest esteem upon its burial. They then buried him in the Hajun cemetery next to his grandfather, Qusai. 
Tears of the Prophet
Beloved Prophet (PBUH) felt deep sorrow for having lost his grandfather. This incident reminded him of his parents’ emigration to the hereafter.
Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) could not contain his teardrops during his grandfather’s funeral and burial; sometimes he would sob and other times he would cry silently without making a single sound.
Many years later, they asked our Holy Prophet (PBUH) whether or not he remembered his grandfather’s death. He responded by saying, “Yes, I remember. I was eight years old at that time”.
The first eight years of Our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) blissful life were filled with pain, sadness, and sorrow. From that age onwards, his great soul and compassionate heart were molded with anguish and tribulations so that he could endure the hardships and catastrophes that he would have to face in his future.
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