#but i DO know it was something very bro-esque in nature

[haberdashing]

It's been a while since I've posted any of my dreams on here, but I feel like tumblr would like this one.

I had a dream about a group of teenagers, or perhaps college kids in their early 20s, getting trapped in an upper-middle-class, three-story suburban house. The house was haunted and slowly drove several of the teenagers insane, to the point where only the ground floor could be used because the second and third floors were now occupied by fellow young adults turned into violent murderers who would now kill anyone who intruded on "their space".

You couldn't see the outside world out the windows, just pure darkness, and the first group to leave through the front door never returned from their scouting mission, left to an unknown but presumably horrible fate.

Fairly typical horror stuff, really.

But somewhere around where dreams meet half-awake thoughts, I realized that there wasn't one Final Girl to this story, there were three. (Although for one, Final Girl's a bit of a misnomer.)

The first was Luna, long-haired and pretty, who started out as the token group mystic pointing out that it was the night of the full moon. Turns out she knows a lot about nature and spiritualism in general. Also she was a trans woman; there was a throwaway line about how she was such a jerk back when she was (deadname). But she's a sweetheart now, if in need of some grounding now and then.

The second... I don't think ever got a name, but I have her mental image clear in my head. Scruffy short brown hair, glasses, fairly nondescript clothes. Started off as the quiet one. Then as things played out, she revealed that she had a history of depression and suicidal thoughts, which as it turns out is quite helpful for dealing with the whole haunted house thing. This wasn't her first time dealing with part of her mind turning against her and trying to cause her harm, after all. She dealt with that on an everyday basis.

The third was Piper, nonbinary, the one who actually lives in the house in question and invited everybody else over. Started off kind of keeping in the background, playing the good host while also trying not to answer too many questions. We learned that Piper grew up in a rich family, in keeping with the big fancy house... but was largely neglected by their parents, pawned off on various nannies and babysitters before having to make their peace with spending time alone more often than not.

Piper realized that the source of the haunting was their parents' jobs--the exact jobs weren't clear, but they were things like "engineer at Lockheed Martin" and "CEO of a health insurance company pushing claim rejections". Unethical jobs, albeit commonplace and lucrative ones. The house was bought with blood money, that's what the problem was.

And Piper figured that the house needed their blood, blood from the family that purchased the home with those dirty funds, their blood used to atone for the blood spilled in the name of owning the home... but after some discussion the three determined that it didn't need to be all of Piper's blood sacrificed to fix the curse. And hey, depressed girl has some experience here too, she can provide guidance on how to make a cut that will bleed plenty but won't cause any permanent damage...

It ended with the three hand in hand, leaving out the front door and walking down the seemingly-endless sidewalk with nothing but pristine lawn on both sides, unsure of what lay ahead of them but ready to find out together.

(And yes, they're all dating.)

[prince-liest]

Terrified by missionary anon here and oh my god I LOVE the way you reworked the ending of the last chapter!!! It had me squealing!! I was just a tiny bitty sceptical at first but at this point I can safely say I trust u with my life. Which makes sense considering ur occupation but u know what I mean

Also!!! I had a shower thought and I doubt there’s a better person to ask than you because your descriptions are always spot on. I think we can all agree that Vox smells good, but I was wondering what do you think Alastor smells like? 🧐 I vote for that rancid smell of rotten meat, with a hint of lacquer, like an antique shop, very coffin-esque. But I rly want to hear ur thoughts on this!!!

Ayyy, I'm so glad that you liked it! >:D I feel like a couple of years ago I would have been a lot more hesitant to just change my mind like this on something (and admittedly I did feel bad about it initially this time) but I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty comfortable going, "Bro, listen - bro, just trust me." about my own writing, ehehe. I'm pleased it's working out! >:)

Also, you've made a terrible mistake in asking me this question because I've recently become very interested in fragrances but I'm also a gourmand snob and have a very sensitive nose when it comes to food products and cannot stand the smell of things rotting, so I would just categorically refuse to imagine that any character I enjoy smells like rotting meat, klxjchfg.

Anyway, if I had to pick a style of fragrance or cologne for him for when he was alive, I feel like he'd go for something woody but warm. Those kinds of scents tend to be masculine and have a nature-y freshness to them that a guy who buries bodies in the woods would probably get a kick out of. And then add something like amber and musk to undercut the scent to make it feel warmer in a way that I think makes people read the wearer as a safer and more comforting presence, which is delightfully misleading.

As for what he'd wear in hell... Tsokovat's Inexcusable Evil, lmfao, no contest. The name is perfect, he'd think it was hilarious, and I've seen so many people say that it genuinely just smells unpleasantly like dousing yourself in fucking blood. Most people's reviews for this stuff call it really uncomfortable but compelling. Tell me Alastor would not think that this wouldn't be the most amusing perfume ever to force on the people in his presence.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hi!!!!!!!!! i am loving the fandom ships sosososososo much!!!!!!!! your hcs are actually the best too and im just so happy ur sharing ur wonderful writing w us:D

no pressure at all too but i would love a fandom ship for the outsiders too:D!! boy or girl is good!

im about 5'4, light brown hair, dark blue eyes, my eyes r like bigg like OwO irl LOL

my hair goes down to the middle of my back, and its like 2a curls i think?

also im white lol so the things that go with that, and i have freckles! and my cheeks are always pink no matter what i do bro (i get accused of blushing at everything BUT ITS JUST MY FACE HFSLDKJKS)

my personality is very talkative, outgoing, blabbermouth esque, and the typical girly i think? like i like doing my makeup and dressing up and stuffs

i think im an optimist too, i dont get angry or upset at people very often

im always really interested in learning about people so i love listening to what they want to talk about!

my hobbies are all the artsy crafty stuff,(writing, reading, painting, drawing, yarn crafts, sewing, decor, music, instrumentsssz) but thats when im not studying:P i spend soooo much time on school and i take it really serious, and im always happy to help my friends w their work too so that may b what keeps me occupied a lot loll

but i also love being outside! that counts as a hobby i think- stuff like just walking, or biking or skating !

Because you’re one of my favorites and a loyal mutual I’m giving you a guy and a girl!!!!

Your outsiders ship: Cherry Valance and Sodapop Curtis!

Explanation: you guys are so pretty together like you’re just such pretty queens. I just wanna say that like Dallas Winston can go cry himself a hole because you have cherry valance cherry valance has you and you guys look so freaking good together just aesthetically pleasing because you guys are both so beautiful. I love the way that you both contrast each other. You with your light brown hair her with her red hair you with your blue eyes and her with her brown eyes. I just think you guys would be beautiful in different ways that really come together for a very neat image you guys are literally the “it”lesbian couple. She thinks you’re natural blush, and freckles are really cute and she has a bit of a natural blush herself so she totally understands whenever people think that you’re blushing at things when you’re actually not you just have a little bit of a pink face. as for your personality I think you would get along really well together because she’s also pretty talkative and bubbly most of the time and I think that U2 would just be really nice popular girls at your school that people look up to and I think she would appreciate your optimism and a lot of situations and truth be told kind of wishes that she did have optimism because she loves your mindset and I honestly think that you would be such a healthy and cute relationship because you guys are so uplifting to each each other she build you up and you build her up. I feel like she’s not very much of an artsy person or a skater, but she absolutely supports all of your hobbies and I feel like she would watch you do art and just ask a ton of questions and if you drew a portrait of her and did anything like that just or made like a keychain for her or something like that I think she keep it forever and just be so proud of it and probably like put it on a bracelet or something and try and keep it with her at all times, I think you’re the type of person that would go to her cheerleading games like just go to the football games to watch her cheer and I think she’d be forever grateful for that and honestly, you guys are just so cute and supportive of each other I 100% ship!!💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Explanation: he really loves your big eyes and you’re curly hair that almost give you kind of a doll like appearance and I also think that he loves how short you are because I don’t know everything about you’re just reminds him of a doll and I think that is what made you kind of stand out to him in the first place besides of course, being drop dead gorgeous honey because that’s what you are!!! But he also gets the natural blush thing a lot, and I think that because of his charming personality, he comes off as flirting when he really just means to be friendly quite a lot so I think the natural blush doesn’t really help that much with that, but I think as for talkativeness, you guys would be a great pair.  I see him as easily socializing and being more of an extrovert so if you’re more of a talkative person, I think you guys would go great together and could definitely have laughs  and good times together just enjoying each other‘s company. He’s also like you an optimist and a people pleaser as well so I think that you guys some time would have a hard time choosing who’s going to have to be the bad cop you know. He also appreciates deeply that you embrace your femininity, and I think out of all the greasers he’s the greaser that embraces his own femininity the most, and I think he just really appreciates anyone else who does that because it’s just aesthetically pleasing let’s be so for real. Since you like asking about other people and what they’re into I think he would absolutely love that because as the middle Curtis sibling, he’s often used to getting ignored or only seen for his looks and when you ask him about himself, it pretty much just melt him because he’s so happy that someone finally cares about him beyond just how he looks or You know being the hot middle Curtis sibling and nothing else. I don’t think he’s very artsy but he absolutely supports you and probably would be a little bit annoying if I’m going to be honest, but he really tries his best to understand it and I also think that he would love doing outdoorsy things with you. You guys would be cute together. 💚

[miloscat]

[Review] Antonball Deluxe (NS)

Wario meets Arkanoid meets Punch Ball Mario Bros.!

Having wrapped up my Wario Land fest, I picked this out of my backlog due to it taking some inspiration from the big goof. Summitsphere had previously published Annalynn, which models itself on arcade classics of the early 80s, and this likewise remixes ideas from retro games both popular and niche. Their next game is actually a direct Wario Land homage, but it's not out yet!

Antonball started as a pair of Game Boy homebrews made in just a few days: one a mashup of brick breaking platforming, and the other an expansion on Hudson's Punch Ball Mario Bros., which is itself a neat little remix of Mario Bros. but with a ball projectile. Antonball Deluxe fleshes both of these out, and adds a head-to-head brick-breaking Pong-esque multiplayer mode reminiscent of one of the faux-retro games in the underrated Game Center CX 3. All in all it's a nice package.

The Wario inspiration comes in the design of the main character Anton and the general tone, as well as a shoulder-barge attack that can be used in mid-air. You can also do a high-jump that looks a bit like the backflip in Donkey Kong 94 (you see, this game is very citational!). In the primary game mode, you use your moves to platform around the single-screen stages in order to body block the bouncing ball and break all the bricks. Sometimes there are enemies or hazards to avoid, and powerups to claim. There are 30 stages but I wasn't able to finish them all, as it gets super hard and it's all too easy to let balls slip past you.

I had a better time with the Punch Ball mode, whose story focuses on Anton's coworker Annie. Annie was specifically added as an equal but feminine counterpart to Anton's Wario-like depravity and goblin charisma, something the Wario series itself has always lacked. There are actually a bunch of unlockable characters, by the way, that you can freely use in any mode including the Waluigi-esque Danton, versions of Anton in different art styles, Anton's dog and Annie's cat, guests from other indie games, and—my favourite—the punny "Ant on Ball". It's an ant on a ball.

Punch Ball by its nature is less twitchy and more about carefully manoeuvring and stunning enemies with the ball so you can knock them out, with a variety of foes with different behaviours, some even interacting with the ball in interesting ways. Some clever level design gives you another 30 stages of fun in a quite different format, even though it uses the same movement engine and controls. The Switch version I played also comes bundled with what was DLC on PC, with two extra joke characters and level packs based on the original Game Boy homebrews.

Silly designs and jokey art permeate this collection, and the interstitial cutscenes add a lot of character to this wacky little world and its denizens. Full disclosure, the illustration and some cutscene art was done by my friend Cameron Reigle (hire him! commission him!), but even if I didn't know him I would be in love with the art in this game, from the goofy cutscenes to the moody backgrounds to the chunky pixel art. It's actually a shame for me that the sequel is going in a slightly different direction artistically, because the look of Antonball is so much fun (there's a grid filter on by default, but it looked better to me when I turned it off)!

I'm impressed by how Antonball was able to hone in on specific mechanics from retro games and remix them in such fun ways. It comes together really well in this package, even if I think the progression in the Antonball mode could have been a bit more merciful. I couldn't engage much with Vs. mode on my own, but I have no complaints for Punch Ball mode, it's great. Actually speaking of multiplayer, both of the solo modes can be tackled in simultaneous co-op with up to four players, which is nice. What else can I say? Check it out!

[sycamorality]

oh please bro anything about the ancients. i love learning about people's ancients its the best for real. whaddo they look like?? any societal norms or ideas on governing/social tiers??? and if youve thought about it or an event like this even fits into your headcanon events what do u think the mass ascension/disappearance of the ancients was like?

i've already rambled abunch about them; you can find them all here, a good 2.2k words worth of rambling.

they're a little creature to me. the best example i have is pearls collapsing within stained grounds, but they are an echo, and a kid, so they don't have their mask. digitigrade legs, tails, snouts (maybe even beak-like heads or even just beaks if i end up vibing with some more avian-esque designs), even wings in a few cases (though those would mostly be genemods - which also means yeah they could have feathers 'n fur 'n whatnot, but some wings could certainly be "natural"). they have funky patterns because i can so i will (and also because it's based off of this and this mural from in-game). think stripes, swirly stripes, rosettes, rings, y'name it. they probably have it. they also have lotsa colors, probably either darker or lighter and less saturated; some higher circle members probably have vibrant colors, depends. they can be little creature guys. as a treat. (except for you vigil you can like- get echoed a second time or something)

societal norms? docked tails, cropped ears, clipped wings (if applicable), unless you're higher circle or in a community that doesn't particularly care about it or are just a lucky lower/middle circle member. full masks always on for middle/higher circle in public and during important events. most higher circles probably had feeding tubes. speaking of social tiers, this post right here has my thoughts on them. can go into detail about anything if prompted; this goes for anything i've already said.

i think the mass ascension was by force, considering a majority (~99.5% for my own headcanon) lived atop iterator superstructures by now due to the lethal rains, and the higher circles Definently held the most power, which meant they got the say in it and it was agreed globally that "hey everybody's ascending". there were certainly outliers that didn't ascend (void knows i've got a few ocs like that, looking at you eclipse) due to a multitude of reasons. either because they were outcasts living on the ground, forgotten and left behind, or straight up hid to stay and not be force-ascended. most of the ones that didn't want to ascend did get caught and just- straight up dunked in a vat of void fluid by force, it was very strict and they made sure everybody ascended by checking id drones and wrote down records. though, if they only checked id drones, there's of course be the ones without any or ones that malfunction and weren't counted.

its 5am this might be a little incoherent and not make much sense oops

[quietbluejay]

Angel Exterminatus 4

wow Perturabo gave in awful fast Perturabo: you want me to build you a theatre so you can tell me a story about what we're going to do for this campaign Fulgrim: yes Perturabo: ok sure I'd say Fulgrim's doing a really good job of manipulating here but it doesn't seem like it's really that hard. He's doing a good job of making it look like he's just doing stuff because he wants to, though.

Forrix would absolutely hate the French and the concept of elan.

initial reluctance? bro you showed zero reluctance unless it is meant to have happened offscreen not even a tsundere esque "im doing it because i want to and not just for Fulgrim's Cursed Storytime" note from future bluejay: as we know, this could never happen, because perturabo has never actually done anything he wants in his life. .... I want to stick him in horse plinko with Rin Tohsaka. This would make both of them worse, probably.

o....k... are you trying to created haunted theatre? because that's how you get haunted theatre

absolutely cursed image of the iron warriors as bees THEY'RE EVEN BLACK AND YELLOW IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS black and yellow markings build things scurry around doing things for their leader that's not your beloved hive of honeybees that's the iron warriors RUN AAAAAAA

"I'm not dramatic, unlike SOME people in this family," he said dramatically, with a dramatic expression Mortarion 🤝 Perturabo

okay that's interesting but also bro did you consider not doing a genocide? it's not very hard to avoid doing genocide especially when you don't even live on the same planet note from future bluejay: SKELETON WITH GLOWING EYES REACTION IMAGE

yriel has never done a genocide yes i know this is warhammer and i'm setting myself up to get well actually'd

Perturabo: ????? is this physical contact?????

perturabo is stunned at this unexpected attack

Perturabo: robots will never break your heart Me, thinking about Transformers: that's what you think

again, this describes me persevering through A Thousand Sons. May Perturabo's experience be happier than mine.

ooo mission impossible time iron hands and raven guard team-up

so don't look at him LOL

This guy is supposed to be some kind of badass, right? I've heard the name Sharrowkyn before.

oh for- Ferrus Manus died in a fair fight on a battlefield! that's not murder! the iron hands are swagless in every single appearance also this section has some of the most clunky writing in the book so far

Perturabo listening to Fulgrim's Storytime Hour 🤝 me reading A Thousand Sons

uh wat honestly I'm glad I got pre-warned about this bit, somehow it's less lurid than the freaking wiki description of it?

back to team Mission Impossible that was a very fun chase sequence

lmao Perturabo takes one look at Fabulous Bill and is like "I don't like this man"

aw Perturabo really does care about Fulgrim Something about this feels like it's All Part Of The Plan even though I can't see how

mcneill can you like not use weird metaphors for ONCE in your life I guess it's not that bad I'm just still scarred from that one in A Thousand Sons involving suckling

he has the backbone of a chocolate eclair

i genuinely think this man is only happy with someone to tell him what to do

not even happy! its like his natural state is just automatically doing what people tell him to

iM????

someone is arguing to NOT kill surrendered opponents???

and its WAR CRIMES GEORGIOS???

he's right you know

also wait i just noticed "seductive purr" wat

OH NO the imperial fist dude from the beginning that i liked is still alive this is bad because he's held captive i have a bad feeling im about to witness another war crime that shouldn't be read while eating

peeks through fingers okay im gonna try and read it okay so he found another fist also in the chamber with him also i want to say there's a LOT of cliche in this book but it's kinda cliche in a good way? it's like popcorn McNeill has actually managed to create an enjoyable reading experience (in general)

like this but also, mental image of Bile is now okay i can't find a gif of the scene let's just go with "he's on heelies"

okay for once in his life mcneill decided less is more for which i am grateful

man, Fulgrim played him like a fiddle

current opinion of perturabo: i do not have any strong feelings about him he's just, kind of meh let's see how it goes as the book continues it's really selling the EC and Fulgrim, though, they're really fun characters, good combo of competence and style. Which I did not expect based on previous experiences!

[malaierba]

I really like the idea that Karamatsu fits in with any group of people that stands out on purpose, like the punk gang he befriends in the third season, or some of the big personalities that you can find in a theater club.

It made me think back to some of my most eccentric friends and how shocked I was to learn that some of our mutual acquaintances found them tiring, whether it was due to their incessant selfie-taking, need to be the clown, odd fashion, etc

Admittedly I didn't always have the spoons to deal with them, I think the one I struggled with the most was a Team Leader at my last job that seemed to have watched too many Vinh Giang videos and he'd take soooo long sometimes to make an argument 😵

He was a kind guy though, and the only one in the company who seemed to understand "human resources management" and "if this bitch is at capacity we need to do something about her workload rather than pilling it up", and it kind of fascinated me anyway so I'd be patient with him when I could afford it.

Anyways, I guess I was thinking back to when I tried to model, lots of big personalities in the room all the time. It was so fun though. Like NGL I don't really have the natural drive to try to fight for attention let alone the spotlight, I'm more the type "I'll earn it if I can objectively tell that my opinion needs to be heard or if no one else will do a good job managing this group", but if the people are kind at their core then the energy is really energising. There's something that will always fascinate me about people who aren't afraid of embarrassment, who'll do what they want to do without letting self-consciousness hold them back.

All of this to say that Karamatsu would probably fit right in in such a group, and I hope he maintained the contact with the punk guys. I kind of want to write a fic about what happened between 18!Osomatsu-san and Osomatsu-san, because the high school graduate we see is GLARINGLY NOT THE KARAMATSU WE KNOW.

It's made obvious to us that he likes showy people and people who can at least speak with confidence (as seen by the way he ogles his adult self lol), but he's also obviously not quite there. I suppose you could argue that at the time he was troubled by his family situation, although Choromatsu's memory of highschool (admittedly an unreliable narrator) paints him as having the backbone of a wet papertowel.

Whatever made Karamatsu become so Karamatsu-esque happened after graduation, and this switch in personality may have collided with Ichimatsu's own withdrawal, and made their dynamic go from:

"very close during middle school > we still see them have lunch together in high school > except at the end it seems Karamatsu was eating alone, Ichi probably choosing to hang out with friends instead > ichimatsu as an adult can't stand Karamatsu's behaviour (although he's still a Karamatsu Boy fsr? He's so funny. I guess he still likes his personality beneath all the glitter)"

I'm rambling lol. After watching the movie I gotta be fr, Ichi, Kara and Jyushi's change in personality seldom leaves my mind. So many dynamics changed? I think a lot about Totty too, although I can see his evolution more clearly, likely because it was more about "pulling away and trying to build an independent identity" and I HC that it coincided with Choromatsu trying (and failing) at college, not only giving Totty the chance but straight up forcing him to do stuff on his own.

AHH I really want to write a fic about all of this but there's so much planning that I need to do. Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu stump me bro, what happened to them? What was the trigger? Why did it come AFTER highschool?

Even Ichimatsu is more reasonable to me, much like Totty. I think he suffered hardcore social masking burnout, I think he maybe tried to follow Choromatsu's intention to join proper society, but he didn't get that far. Awareness hit him in the beginning stages and with it followed an inability to force himself to do something that was so obviously not himself, unable to continue to force himself to fit a societal race for which he's just not built. And I see why, following that, he'd start getting support and comfort from Osomatsu, who's just too honest to pretend that anyone actually wants to become a wage slave, and of course he'd prefer to help by staying besides Ichimatsu rather than by nagging him to stop being a NEET (cough Choro).

Man this was a ramble lol. And I still have no clue about Jyushi and it drives me crazy LOL, maybe Osomatsu played a part too? He'd call him out on it, I just wish we'd understand what it was that triggered the delinquent act in the first place.

Anyways. Can you believe this started as a musing along the lines of "Karamatsu is not the problem actually he just needs to find his scene" lol

[complete-idiot-inc]

So... I remembered my scrapped Galar fic story.

Just to let you know, please do not expect anything to come of this, this is just an incomplete framework for a scrapped story. And nothing more.

a variation of these events occurred in the pasio fic, which release has been delayed, but will be here shortly, I promise.

things of note: the twist initially was going to be that Rose was Ash's dad, which I changed because Peony is more fun. Also, the story was going to reveal that 2 years had passed since Ash left pallet town, hence all the hints towards it, and Ash just forgets his birthdays.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

What if Ash got a genuine Galar journey, without ‘hey remember this?’

Galar, and like in every pokemon anime timeframe is non-specific (for now heh heh heh)

Main characters

Ash - 10(?) years old, similar to how ash is in the X & Y anime, not immature but still young, has lots of experience (Spoilers: About 2 years worth), and is willing to pass it on to others.

Gloria - 12 years old, forced by her overbearing mother to wait a couple of years before she can start her journey, so naturally, she's very passionate about the sport, starts out iris/misty-like before character evolution hits and becomes the in-between of Serena/dawn and iris/misty character types

Hop Dande - 10 years old, young, and very similar to Ash when he started, but even more headstrong if you would believe it, he let being the champion’s little bro go to his head and thus thought he was champion material himself. Leaves at some point to truly learn how to battle and makes his return during the Galar conference.

Allister Nion - replaces Hop after he leaves, his arc is just to build confidence in himself.

Secondary characters

Marnie Nezu - ash’s rival (14) is pretty much the same in-game, the only difference is she and Gloria were once friends. 

Bede - Gary but worse, belittles Ash any chance he gets 

Leon Dande - is less stupid than his in-game counterpart, and is quite similar to Ash. 

Sonia Magnolia - introduces him to Gloria and hop

Prof. Magnolia - a wise old lady that gives our heroes their starters.

Rose Patak - is near 1 to 1 but seems like he’s hiding something. 

Oleanna Olive - fakes being motherly but is very very rude and angry underneath

Team Yell - is just a bunch of street punks that interfere with anyone they perceive as a threat to Marnie.

Gym leaders

Milo Yarrow - the stereotypical kind farmer’s boy 

Nessa Ruina - ash’s cool big sis in a metaphorical sense

Kabu Hibana - gives ash a mentorship program (tony stark peter parker-esque)

Bea Saito - antisocial but very kind also being mentored by Kabu (might become ash’s companion during the isle of armor)

Opal Poplar - kind old lady who mentors bede (being his reminder to be kind)

Melony Makuwa - kind and motherly off-field, an ice-cold battler on the field.

Gordie Makuwa - overconfident almost to a fault and really rude sometimes.

Piers Nezu - snarky but somewhat kind, and very protective over Marnie, but still her brother.

Raihan Kibana - I can't put his personality into words but he live-streams his fights.

Ash lands in Galar and is introduced to Sonia and Leon

Sonia then takes ash to Professor Magnolia to get his starter and he meets Gloria and Hop

Leon then takes him to Motostoke to announce the start of Galar’s gym challenge

Our heroes go to budew inn and meet Marnie.

Battle against some team yell grunts.

Our heroes than just hang out and bond

Milo gym fight: ash wins, Gloria wins, and hop needs a rematch.

After hop’s rematch milo teaches ash how to cook curry.

Gloria and Ash get into an argument over methods of travel.

Team Rocket gets the focus in this chapter James catches a galarian Weezing and Jessie catches a sandaconda 

Hulbury but Nessa’s gym is closed.  

As it turns out Nessa's prized Drednaw is very, very sick. Which ash cures with some herbs.

Nessa Gym Battle: Ash wins, Hop wins, Gloria rematch.

Gloria catches a Yamper.

Gloria's rematch.

Our heroes then go to motostoke

Before any of them fight Kabu the first team rocket clash happens

It's a near standstill, but team rocket blasts off due to Gloria’s Yamper and Ash’s Pikachu.

Kabu introduces himself to Ash and the two have a “Queens. Brooklyn.” moment 

Grooky evolves into Thwackey during Kabu’s fight. 

And ash loses but he’s not upset given both Thwackey has evolved and that Kabu is really respectful to him.

Ash goes and trains with Kabu and the two bond a lot.

Ash accidentally calls him dad and kabu is kinda flattered.

Rematch! 

And a great surprise occurs Pikachu can Gigantamax!

Everyone looks on in aww.

Ash wins and Kabu gives him the most dad-esque interaction ever.

“That was some real fighting, ash, great job!”  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd like everyone to note that this was my very first time ever framing a story.

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 14: Lord of the Dungeon

Still sick, and now my muscles hurt from all that coughing for the last MONTH. But anyway.

Fuck shit up, little magic boy.

Pretty.

Yo, I'm still kinda processing how badly beaten Alibaba's got, like, this is the next chapter and he still hasn't picked himself up. God damn.

First of all, "the slave of the rukh" is such a fucked up wording. Like, you could've said literally anything else. And then the whole "using slaves is my power", yeah, no shit, you have no actual skill other than being a sadistic piece of shit.

Yes, I'm going to overfocus on Alibaba still not standing up, like, bro. Actually, how big part of Magi is Alibaba just getting his shit wrecked.

No one wants you to accept anybody. It'd be an actual insult to be accepted by you.

Damn, what an expression. Shoutout to my boy Aladdin for not giving a shit.

Lmao.

He just wants the flute.

Will Alibaba pick himself up in this chapter? Stay tuned to find out!

Ok, but jokes aside, I 100% don't blame him. Like, dude got thrown into the wall by a Fanalis, and then kicked down by Jamil, that's a totally understandable reaction. It must've hurt like hell, and probably still does. Like, I'm making fun of it, but I legit feel bad for Alibaba.

Oh, shut up.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA TELL HIM, ALADDIN

You think he went to some doctor after this?

Your speak-cloud is wobbly, you're not good!

HE'S ALIBABA'S FRIEND ;______;

And he STOOD UP! With help, but still!

Saya, stop putting in all the Alibaba panels, just because you think he looks pretty there.

*touches*

They look a bit silly.

Lmao, get wrecked.

Oh, hi, Amon!

My son, obviously.

GET WRECKED, lmao. And F for Morgiana. Tho also this is why any "King Vessel Morgiana" AUs just don't work for me - she's literally stated to not have enough magoi to handle having a djinn. MUU barely has enough magoi, and he still can use the full-body djinn equip for several minutes max, and he's not a full-blood Fanalis. So, basically, unless the topic of her not having much magoi is addressed somehow, I'm like

with these AUs, even though they do sound cool. Though, to be fair, I also think her personality doesn't really fit a King Vessel. Ngl, tho, I wonder if that would've been the case if she hasn't spent most her life up until this point as a slave. How much of her personality is nature, and how much of it is her nurture? Tbh, I can kind of imagine her been a bit more like Myron, I guess. Who is, like, one of the two known Fanalis who DON'T have a history of being slaves. Shame the topic of Fanalis is so ignored later on.

On a different note, when it comes to Fanalis, I'm still kinda meh about them in the Final Arc. Like, they're kind of boring, ngl. I've always liked to headcanon them to be pretty conservative (like, give them SOMETHING), and maaaybe slighly look down on humans (they've certainly said something about Morgiana choosing to maintain her human form, instead of returning to her original one, tho I don't remember the specifics). And we know Fanalis are proud as fuck. I've always thought it'd be an interesting contrast with how the world before the Rift looks down on the Fanalis, while the Fanalis past the Great Rift look down on humans. It could've been an interesting topic to explore. Eh, guess I'm adding it to the "three four year timeskip" rewrite-esque fic outline that I have yet to start. Tbh, most of them already have titles, and quite a lot outlined, but this one still doesn't. Not gonna lie, tho, I might divide it a bit into several parts, cuz there'd be so much to cover.

OK, BUT AMON AND ALIBABA ARE LIKE "GRANDPA, AND THE KING VESSEL HE SAID HE DIDN'T WANT". Man, I could really use some Amon's perspective in Magi, as in, how exactly he went from "sigh, since there's nobody better" to "this is my grandson Alibaba, he's very cute, and a little bit pathetic at times, but he's very precious to me, he'd look so good in pigtails :)"

That he did.

You go, big magic boy.

I know as much as you do.

[adultalternative]

Rodeo Star by Cowgirl Clue- One of the weirdest albums of the year. Electropop with country samples and lyrics that are a bunch of mantras together. Don’t take my lack of description as a lack of praise. My favorite songs are Rodeo Star, Picket Fence, and Gold Switchblade.

Ooh I Rap Ya by George Clanton- George Clanton was a name I sometimes saw but never gave a chance until last year. This album is a perfect homage to 90’s alternative dance. My favorite songs are the epic Justify Your Life, the Savage Garden-esque I Been Young, the nihilistic but anthemic FUML, and the dreamy For You I Will.

10,000 gecs by 100 gecs- Very loud, irreverent, and most importantly fun. People keep wondering how long hyperpop can last, but 100 gecs was able to shift seamlessly into an alternative rock sound. My favorite songs include Doritos and Fritos (which I was surprised to see on the Warner Bros rock channel on my Roku), The Most Wanted Person in the United States, Billy Knows Jamie, Frog on the Floor, and Dumbest Girl Alive.

Moments of Clarity by Narrowhead- I don’t know what it takes for me to give two looks to ‘regular’ alternative rock bands now that I have a more diverse taste, but Narrowhead stuck out to me immediately. Loud and cathartic, I’ve seen them compared a lot to Deftones. My favorite songs are Breakup Song and Sunday, as well as the alternative dance inspired Soft to Touch.

BB/Ang3l- After the very broad 333, Tinashe went for mega concise. I liked Talk to Me Nice, Treason, and Gravity. I am looking forward to the sequel project this year, which should be sooner rather than later given the delayed release this list has.

World Hassle by Alan Palomo- Alan Palomo’s music was no stranger to inspiring daydreams for me. After an 8 year hiatus, this still holds. Palomo’s solo album sounds more like sophistipop and jazz-funk than synthpop, but is still perfect for soundtracking dead mall videos, Sims Youtube speedbuilds, and city planning videos. My favorite songs are "Is There Nightlife After Death?”, Nobody’s Woman, as well as Stay at Home DJ.

guts by Olivia Rodrigo- I never know how to rate the pop girls of the next generation. Usually there are dozens of discussions about them for who is the most planty, who is the most naturally talented, who is the most wise beyond their years, and who is the most annoying (AKA a normal under 23 year old with a public social media platform), but I just opt out of them instead of having dozens of opinions (unfortunately, I can't always restrain my thoughts on pop stars this easily). This either means an album like Melodrama will have the highs affect me less than they do other people, or an album like Happier Than Ever I wrongly write off too early because I'm not that interested in the meta discussions of Billie’s sophomore slump. But guts had no problem reeling me in. Olivia shows how eclectic Pop rock can be with a rap rock song like Get Him Back, a One of the Boys esque song like Love is Embarrassing, as well as the bubblegrunge inspired Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl.

Gag Order by Kesha- Usually, when people want a dark and personal album by a pop star, we imagine it to be a little confessional and a little experimental, but this album took me by surprise, from the album art to the songs themselves. Maybe it was just watching the visualizers for the videos, but you definitely get the alienation and stress Kesha was facing over the last decade with Something to Believe In and Eat the Acid. For a little more balance, listen to The Drama and Only Love Can Save Us.

Bully by Bully- Bully’s most immediate album since their debut, in my opinion. I like the anthemic Days Move Slow, the surprisingly moody A Love Profound, and the political All This Noise.

Leaving The Light by Genesis Owusu- Genesis Owusu came with an album with a little bit of everything. Post punk, drum and bass, and funk. I like Leaving The Light, The Roach, The Old Man, and That’s Life (A Swamp).

heaven knows by PinkPantheress- More of PinkPantheress’s trademark easily digestible and recognizable UK Garage and helium vocals. My favorite songs are Capable of Love and Internet Baby, as well as The Boy’s a Liar.

Good Luck by Debby Friday- Debby Friday came out of nowhere with this brash homage to industrial music. If you want to get adjusted to the soundscape with a moody bop, start with So Hard to Tell. If you are ready for the loudness, go to Pluto Baby.

Gizmo by Tanukichan- Going on the shoegaze subreddit is good for finding out how to classify ‘The Greats’ of shoegaze music for people whose names I always see but never actually commit to (Or in the case of Curve, are not on streaming), but not my favorite for finding new people. Seeing everything described as ‘Bad impressions of Loveless or just reverbed guitar music’ makes me turned off from giving people more chances. Tanukichan, however, has the right amount of vocals and right amount of guitars. My favorite songs are Don’t Give Up, Take Care, Thin Air, and Mr. Rain.

Chaos for the Fly by Grian Chatten- I’ve kept up with alternative rock enough to know that solo acoustic projects are usually optional for me. But calling Chaos for the Fly an acoustic folk solo album is not doing it any justice. This album has enough atmosphere to keep people who normally don’t like folk music interested, without taking away focus from the lyrics. This is a perfect album for rainy Sunday mornings. My favorite songs are Last Time Every Time Forever, Bob’s Casino, and Fairlilies. 

Rabbit Rabbit by Speedy Ortiz- Speedy Ortiz returned with a better focus than their 2018 project, in my opinion. The production gives a lot of different textures time to shine. I like the songs Kim Catrall and Who’s Afraid of the Bath?

wallsocket by underscores - An album that might cast itself out based on how weird it is until the hooks sneak up on you. Other people have talked about how it’s a concept album better than I have, so I won’t talk about that, but Locals (Girls Like Us) is very ahead of the times party-rap revival, Shoot to Kill, Kill Your Darlings, is probably one of the cleverest political songs of the year, and Cops and Robbers is a pure adrenaline rush. Special mention goes to You Don’t Even Know Who I Am, which is haunting with a very unique sample.

☆ Cosas de brujas ☆ by Maria Escarmiento- An exciting and fun hyperpop album where the language barrier doesn't matter. It reminds me of Number 1 Angel era Charli. Mejores que ayer and Demasiado Callado are euphoric, Creo que hoy no me apetece quererme morir is a crunchy futuristic song

Past/present/future by Meet Me @ the Altar- over the past few years, I've had revisionism for the 2000s pop rock girlies. Not just ‘Breakaway is good’ or ‘One of the Boys has Really solid album tracks that get overlooked for obvious reasons’, but more deep-cut esoteric ones that can definitely merit their own post. Meet Me @ the Altar captures the era with their power pop influenced pop punk. Say It (to My Face) is purposely well, immature and energetic like most pop punk, and is the most famous song, per the Roku rock video channel I use, but they have other sounds, too. A Few Tomorrows is a catchy singalong midtempo which could have been the last stray American Idol alumni breakout single (I mean it in the best way possible) and Need Me reminds me of the power pop on One of the Boys.

The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We by Mitski- After too much meta narrative about Mitski’s career clouded her last two albums, Mitski came with a folk album that might be more sparse, but not at all too simple. There is the dreamy My Love All Mine All Mine, the wanderlust of Buffalo Replaced, and I Don't Like my Mind.

Flower of Life Taleen Kali- An interesting shoegaze album that reminds me of the Dum Dum Girls. My favorite songs are Only Lovers Left Alive and Flower of Life. I am curious for where her sound will develop from here.

[industriallyinsecure]

Miscellaneous La Squadra Headcanons

Risotto

desk drawers are filled with a bunch of knickknacks and other things. Only one drawer has actual files related to work

He keeps leftover metal instruments from Metallica in the top left drawer, along with regular ones (mostly because he doesn’t know which ones are which)

Keeps a Walkman at his desk with an assortment of metal CDs. Melone tried to teach him how to burn his own CD but it didn’t end very well. Poor boomer man can I get an F in the chat :,(

Still struggles with the mainland dialect(s), sometimes he just gives up and reverts to Sicilian

Nobody knows what he’s saying, but they just nod and act like they do

“...None of you understood a single word of that, did you?”

Ghiaccio

Figure skating prodigy

Started as a way to help his ADHD, but it came very naturally to him

Called “il Cigno” (the swan) because of his elegant skating

Knocked a skater out after a performance (clearly rigged), lost all hopes of a scholarship and sponsorship

The “stereotypical” Italian dialect (I believe Tuscan is the most common but there’s dialects depending on where you are in Tuscany). Doesn’t use slang

Formaggio intentionally makes his accent thicker to make him mad

Works every time

“If you slur that word one more fucking time I’ll crush you like a bug under my shoe!!”

Melone

Med school dropout

Wanted to be a pediatrician, but accidentally got struck with the stand arrow

No need to take care of kids when you can just make em amirite fellas

Unsurprisingly, very good at handling and taking care of kids

Gets pouty if some random baby giggles and coos at a teammate instead of him

Babysits as a side job when things are slow. Raving reviews and a good income. Plus he gets to look at all the cute kids and guess what the next little bun in the oven will look like

97% of the time, his predictions are correct

Sultry and breathy voice. Couple it with his Ligurian accent and it’s like silk and honey

Shockingly maternal (no, not paternal) to anyone that needs it. He’s the La Squadra Mom to Prosciutto’s La Squadra Dad

For the love of god don’t say that to him otherwise he’ll make a comment about you having a mommy/daddy kink or he’ll say something to Prosciutto. While the former is embarrassing, the latter will likely result with you in a nursing home

“Oh, do you need someone to take care of you? I’d gladly take up that burden, ahuhuhu~”

Prosciutto

hates menthol and only smokes Marlboro Lights. Gets a lot of shit from Formaggio for it but it doesn’t bother him

Extremely close to his Nonna. Epitome of a mammone but for his grandmother instead

Speaks French. No one knows how or why. Won’t elaborate if you ask

Secretly very petty. Like a PTA mom, he remembers the smallest slight and carries it with him until he can bring it up and shove it in your face

Affectionate when he first gets his nicotine fix. Expect pats on the back or ruffled hair if you’re within arms length

Very thick Florentine accent

Ghiaccio fights with him over who’s Tuscan dialect is better

“It’s better to sound like a native than like google translate, amico.”

Pesci

Tends to doze off easily. If the conditions are just right, he can fall asleep almost anywhere

Chubby.

Self conscious about his chub but no one (especially not Prosciutto) makes fun of it. Either they’re too scared to because of Prosciutto or they genuinely don’t care

Prosciutto beats the shit out of people that do

Wants his big bro to take him fishing but Prosciutto fusses over his appearance too much and doesn’t have fishing clothes. The one time they went out, he complained the whole time and lost one of his expensive watches. Pesci still hasn’t heard the end of it

Has a bit of a lisp in his Neapolitan accent. Very self conscious about it but no one notices it unless he makes a comment about it

“No, I’m not from Castile, why do you say that? We went to the same elementary school, Formaggio.”

Illuso

actively instigates fights when he feels things are too quiet. Formaggio is usually the one he picks on, but Ghiaccio is very easy to rile up as well

Starts shit and leaves. Likes to watch the fall out and giggle like a school girl in the safety of the mirror world

Conversely, hates it when he gets picked on.

Soft Venetian accent, it’s slowly faded since he’s lived in Napoli

“There’s an old American adage: big feet, big meat. What does that say about you and your stand, Maggi?”

Formaggio

also smokes cigarettes. Fights with Illuso over the regular Marlboro reds because they don’t want to use Prosciutto’s “old man smokes”

Habit of shrinking things. Not on purpose, he just forgets he doesn’t have to steal things all the time

Loves seafood, except for mussels. Ask why and you’ll get a Ghiaccio-esque retelling of how he found out he was allergic

Thickest accent besides Risotto. 100% Neapolitan born and bred

Cheers for Atlanta United along with La Nazionale

Makes Ghiaccio upset, so it’s more of a reason to do it

“Just because I like a team that isn’t Italian doesn’t mean anything, amico. Maybe if you weren’t so close minded you could appreciate non-Italian things too, heh heh.”

[fishoutofcamelot]

Okay but consider: after her banishment, Gwen ends up crossing paths with Isolde and Tristan. Circumstances cause them to share a campsite for a few days - Isolde and Tristan have been separated from the rest of their crew, and a horrible storm has trapped the three of them in a cave for the foreseeable future. Naturally, bonding ensues, and these two grizzled smuggler people end up kinda-sorta adopting Gwen against their better judgment.

But like??? I'm just imagining a conversation between them, where they point out that Gwen is clearly bottling up Some Stuff, and it would really help her to just get it out of her system.

But Gwen turns down their offer and insists on bottling it up anyway, to which Isolde is like, "bro its cool that youre all polite and nice and whatnot, but you dont have to be that way all the time. its okay to be angry and upset every once in a while. you keep things bottled up because you think you have to, because thats what society expects of you, because everyone in your life needs to rely on your for strength and wisdom and support, and even though sometimes you dont want to be the responsible one there isnt much choice. and i get that, i really do, but right now we're all stuck in a cave together out in the middle of nowhere, and tristan and i are both literal criminals and also relative strangers, so no one will judge you or get upset if you just. go the tiniest bit unhinged for a while."

Naturally, Isolde has hit it right on the head. The next few minutes of wheedling and coaxing lead to Isolde and Gwen standing at the mouth of the cave, screaming loudly into the forest to vent all their pains and frustrations, just letting out every raw and ugly emotion they've got stuck inside them. Gwen is hesitant at first, but once she gains a bit of confidence she really gets into it. Isolde is...impressed and concerned by just how intensely Gwen can scream (she's got a lot bottled up, okay?)

Eventually they get the whole story out of her: her mother's death, Elyan's departure, her father's execution, Morgana's betrayal, the whole Lancelot mess, the various times she was sentenced to death, her complicated relationship with Arthur, that creep Agravaine...and the affair. She vents and weeps and screams at great length about the affair, and about her banishment, and about her fears and worries and frustrations and above all the self-loathing that has haunted her at every step of the way.

Isolde and Tristan listen, because clearly the poor girl has never had the chance to talk about this at length ever in her life and really really needs it. And okay, yeah, they're definitely keeping her now, it's too late.

Tristan smoothly yet gruffly brings up the suggestion that she tag along with them. She doesn't have anywhere else to go, after all, and they could use an extra set of hands. Gwen is of course reluctant to collude with smugglers, but after weighing her options she eventually decides to stick with these strange yet kind people.

Gwen doesn't start with smuggling right off the bat, though. She starts as the cook, and the horse-hand, and then one day Tristan hands her the reigns to one of the carts and teaches her how to drive it, and over time starts getting more and more responsibilities. she naturally acts polite and kind most of the time, but there are no expectations or consequences out here if she screws up or doesnt do her job perfectly every time. for perhaps the first time in her life, gwen finally has the chance to truly loosen up.

very quickly all the other members of the smuggler crew begin to adopt her as well, until this small army of hardened criminals are all collectively fawning over their mutual Sunshine Daughter. none of them liked King Arthur already due to his tax laws, but listening to Gwen's sordid tale gives them all a little bit of an extra reason.

One day, while going down to a nearby village to get some supplies, she overhears the news that Arthur is to marry Princess Mithian of Nemeth. And that gives her some...mixed feelings. Like, she's not jealous, that's just not her style, but she's not exactly happy about it either. She's trying to be. She knows she should be happy for Arthur. But at the same time, it does kinda sting.

She tries to bottle up those negative feelings at first, and just keep a brave face through the pain - until she remembers what Isolde said, and she remembers how all the other people in the smuggler crew taught her that ugly emotions aren't bad, and that it's okay to let yourself feel angry and upset from time to time.

So, armed with a new handful of complicated emotions and the full intention of not bottling them up for once, Gwen asks to tag along with the next away team. Which is weird because she never does that, she usually prefers to keep as far away from the actual criminal activity as possible. But something in her eyes tells Tristan that she needs this, so even though he has a policy against bringing amateurs he happily welcomes her along.

In this particular instance, they are going to be stealing some valuable goods from a particularly belligerent noble. While sneaking around the noble's extravagant estate, which stands in stark contrast to the dilapidated state of the nearby villages under his control, Gwen overhears the noble slapping one of his servants. She taps Isolde on the arm. Says, "I have an idea." Isolde finds that she likes the idea very much.

Next thing they know, they're running from the estate's guards while cackling, the noble's wardrobe full of disgustingly fancy linens in flames. Gwen is laughing, loud and unburdened; not only was setting all those silk garments on fire immensely cathartic, but it was also some of the most fun she's had in her entire life.

At breakfast the next morning, as Isolde proudly recounts their adventures to the rest of the crew, one of the other smugglers - a plucky young teen who looks oddly familiar, goes by the name Mordred - says that if Gwen enjoys fire so much, he might be able to hook her up with a spell or two.

And that is, more or less, the story of how Mordred began teaching Gwen magic. And that is also more or less the story of how Gwen learned to let loose and become the Robin Hood-esque arsonist sorcerer she was always meant to be.

(A few months later, Arthur and Merlin will stumble their way into camp, and that will be...interesting, to say the least.)

[ready-to-obeyme]

Can you do a weeding head canon for Satan pls? Please please please. Thank you so much for you time

Wedding Headcanons for Satan/Reader

wow four pages just like his birthright lol

*:ﾟ*｡⋆ฺ(*´◡`) I love thinking about weddings!! hope you like it! 🌺 kept it gender neutral as usual

EDIT: ltskjdlafskj tumblr didn’t save my FORMATTING (cries) hhhhh but hope it looks okay now!

where they get married

England, probably, if you chose a human place to get married at, but not in the city

i can imagine a cozy little cottage near a lake, set up a veranda and tables and chairs and there you have it; definitely outdoors 

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )

Early spring, late morning

very peaceful time of the year

If we want to get specific, most likely March when the breeze is cool and gentle and the foliage is lush and green

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )

It probably sprinkles a little bit the morning of the wedding-- which is good luck, Satan reassures you

Throwing rice at the newlyweds over confetti-- mainly because it’s biodegradable and the wedding is outdoors 

(had to search this up but) Satan, devious as he is, asks to do the garter toss

Basically, you wear a garter (that can match your wedding night lingerie wink wink) and he takes it off using his teeth or hands

Satan uses his hands-- but that doesn’t mean he can’t make it as intimate and alluring as he possibly can, making sure you’re aware of where his hands are on your leg as he shoots a coy look up at you just to see you blush

if you’re uncomfortable being that intimate in front of your family, no problem-- he can always just take it off later when you’re alone together

definitely hands or tosses the garter smugly at his brothers next time he sees them just to watch them scream

what their wedding cake looks like

small, four tiered cake decorated with pink peonies and light pink roses, accented by green leaves and gold

matches the bouquet!

….who smashes cake into whose face

you think and even plan it the moment the two of you decide to get married that it would be you

Satan surprises you by getting the jump and smushing cake onto yours first

gracefully lets you smash cake into his face too, a wide smile on his face the entire time

who proposed to who first

you think the cake is revenge for the fact you beat him to the punch and asked him to marry you first (after he says yes)

Satan was slightly miffed because he planned a whole getaway and everything to ask you 

tells you as much with a pout as you laugh 

gives you the ring he bought you and gifts you with something else during the getaway instead of the ring

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )

Satan refuses to be walked down the aisle by Lucifer, so he stubbornly stays at the altar (with Asmo as his best man and probably Lucifer as one of his groomsmen)-- which honestly, works for him

the flutter in his chest and the way you look incandescently beautiful as you walk down the aisle takes his breath away

loves the traditional wedding, Satan is a sucker for romantic cliches considering his proclivities for novels-- he's undoubtedly has thought of you in this very moment before a real proposal was ever on his mind the sap

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like

one thing is for certain: Satan does not get to dress himself

And honestly neither should I but here it goes

Asmo and Lucifer help him choose the tuxedo to go with the color theme (green) 

Grey, three-piece suit with an accented forest-green signature bowtie

White button-up shirt inside

Accented with a very, very pale pink rose pinned on the lapel of his suit

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have

Pastel and forest green with gold accents

Very nature-esque considering the outdoor location 

Considering this happens on a grassy area, the walkway is scattered with flowers, the arch is decorated with peonies and roses 

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? )

Pink Peonies - represents honor, romance, beauty, and bashfulness

Pink roses - playful innocence/sensitivity

White daisies - true love, new beginning

Satan would have loved to thrown in an orange lily somewhere, but considering his color is GREEN, Asmo fought against it heavily -- but it would have symbolized a passion for life

Throw in some green in there too to match the theme and balance out the bouquet 

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )

It's not that Satan can't be original, but it's more like he believes the traditional vows are still true and romantic to this day; definitely customizes it to fit him more 

“With this ring, I give you my heart. I promise from this day forward, you shall not walk alone, may my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home.”

He definitely does add the bits of poetry he's written about you-- highlighting the ways he has fallen for you and how you make him feel at home with you

Levi calls him a sap but he dries his tears with a tissue during the proceedings so his comment is invalid-- this scene is too perfectly anime to not love 

he's an intellectual and a man of books: he's definitely got a way with words and spent weeks forming the best vow that encompasses everything he would ever want to say to you

if there was a day he’d say all the tender feelings he had for you, today was the day (out of the many days from thence on)

is surprised when you cry and secretly pleased-- makes (more) vows to tell you how much you mean to him more

if anyone’s late to the wedding

bye jk

wedding would be pretty small so doubtful there would be late comers (unless you have a large family and would like to invite them)

wouldn't roast anyone on your side for coming late; very understanding about it

if any of his side comes late, he'll say something to playfully tell them off or be exasperated but not surprised 

but honestly it doesn't really matter to him because at the end of the day, he loves his family and he couldn't be happier to know they're there for him on his special day

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other

Lucifer -- and not just by default; Satan asked him specifically to be a part of his groomsmen

Lucifer was very soft about it, not that either of them will acknowledge it

tbh kind of hard not to just assume all the bros wouldn't be the groomsmen but if we had to choose a typical three, the other two would be Asmo (best man) and Mammon

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )

Lucifer was the one to bear witness to another side of Satan when he made a pact with you, so undoubtedly he would talk about that just to embarrass Satan

Satan would never say it, but he’s warm thinking that Lucifer would remember something like that

I actually think his speech would be very emotional, considering the rocky relationship those had had and how much they each have grown and mended their bond

Satan tears up and squeezes your hand, though he is embarrassed when you smile at him knowingly

his other brothers probably sneak in speeches of their own about Satan's angstier days-- hoping to squeeze as many funny stories they’ve collected over the thousands of years living together as brothers

they're lucky Satan is in a good mood the entire day so he won't throttle them lmao

who catches the bouquet( s )

Solomon, the crafty bastard

Satan wishes he was more surprised

Asmo doesn't stop whining to Solomon the entire night

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )

Satan is a photographer-- of course he's going to go all out and memorialize the event

probably has been keeping a scrapbook of your relationship ever since you both went steady and tbh he might have to start a completely new photobook just for the journey from engagement to wedding

the wedding photos of you in your wedding outfit are personally taken by him-- there is no one else that can capture the way your eyes crinkle with joy or the soft glow of your smile at dusk

if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then you would be the most beautifully wedded person the world has ever seen in the photos Satan has taken of you

literally cannot get enough of you in your outfit that you have to tell him to stop so you can actually have photos of him and with him

trusts Asmo to make sure that they look on point and that the photographer takes good pictures of everything during the reception and wedding itself

just as much tender moments as there are silly moments; Satan loves them all

what sort of food they have at the reception

if they have their wedding in the human realm, then Satan would let you handle the food considering he knows more devildom food (food which may alarm normal people)

agrees to most of your choices, taking into consideration any allergies

what can I say? he's a reasonable guy

also he knows Beel would finish everything if anything

Definitely chooses the tea to be served during desserts though 

who cries first during the ceremony

in comparison with Satan, you probably cry first, but Satan is definitely not far off from joining you after

it's one of the happiest days of both of your lives after all

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. )

I stand by the fact Satan has pretty low tolerance for alcohol and you bet Asmo (and Mammon) helped plan everything and bought a TON of alcohol 

Satan gets drunk quick and is extremely sappy with you the entire night cannot stop saying how happy he is that you chose him of all people, that he promises to make you as happy as he can, and that he loves you

bless Lucifer for keeping his brothers in check during the wedding; god knows what would happen otherwise 

what their rings are like

Satan likes a simple gold band on his ring finger, though he wouldn't mind an engraving inside

if you do get something engraved, he'll get melty if it's a message for him or something that commemorates your relationship (he probably likes thay it's like the engraving on the One Ring in Lord of the Ring)

he gets you a diamond ring on a gold band 

simple can go a long way!

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalized candy etc. )

I actually don’t think you have any party favors; I imagined it to be a quaint, small wedding

Guests can take home the centerpieces and decorations though-- and the rice, if they didn’t throw it all at you lol 

where they go for their honeymoon

somewhere with a lot of history and lots of things to see and do the man is an explorer and the next chapter of his life is with you

type to keep the romance alive by whisking you away into experiencing something new

idk why but I'm getting Belgium or Germany vibes for the honeymoon 

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )

asides from the typical House of Lamentation excitement (ie. Asmo flirting with everyone, Beel eating out every table, Mammon trying to steal the silverware, Belphie sleeping underneath every table at some point)

they run out of alcohol pretty quickly so Beel (almost completely sober) and Mammon (drunk) go out to get more while being supervised by (an admittedly tipsy) Lucifer-- and come back with a boatload of more alcohol and McDonalds froes two hours later 

(i mean, combine a voracious appetite, a big spender, and a man who doesn’t make the best decisions when drunk is basically ASKING for something memorable to happen)

dear lord guys its almost 12am who do you think is gonna drink all of this wine and beer

also asmo definitely steals the wedding bouquet from solomon 

who officiates the ceremony

definitely not a priest (haha) 

I have an odd feeling it would be Barbatos

I think people would think he’s a priest anyways, asides from the teal highlight in his hair 

what song their first dance is to

Everything - Michael Buble + Choreo gotta love youtube

Playful, happier dance

Lots of swaying motions and looking at each other’s faces and just laughing 

(im so soft aaaaa)

A celebratory dance to start off the rest of your life together

sidenote: My friend was kind to note that the guy in the video’s outfit matches Satan’s butler where there’s a funky tie tucked into the vest too alskdfjsldkjf

Asmo couldn’t convince Satan otherwise to not wear the vest but it’s okay because all the two of you can focus on is each other anyways

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle

Satan doesn’t walk down the aisle, but Asmo (as best man), Lucifer, and Mammon stand beside him

Lucifer thinks it's endearing how much Satan fidgets until he sees you, then he's too enamored to remember to be nervous

Asmo thinks everything is picture-perfect; all according to plan

Mammon keeps crying into his sleeves

Satan watches you walk down the aisle, sees you beam at him, and it takes his breath away

nothing can take his gaze off you now 

[hiuythn]

do u have any krbk fics that u can rec? any favorites of urs! ☺️

you’re in luck bc i just made a rec list for a friend so i have this ready for you

also i’ve got over 200 krbk bookmarks on ao3 so feel free to check that out if you finish this rec list.

all (except one) of these are completed. they're in no particular order. i tried to find ones that are less known, bc idk how much you've read but i'm assuming all the popular ones are familiar to you. happy reading! 💖💖💖

Inevitable - Legendaerie - 8k - mature CLASSIC 'bkg thinks they've been together and kiri thinks he's still pining' TROPE. it's INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me why this doesn't have more fucking kudos!!! why!!!

Tiny Truths - Quirk Archivist (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - 4k - teen bkg gets de-aged. kid him reveals sth to class 1a, more imptly, to KIRI, abt some ideas about what it means to open a hero agency together. it's super adorable!!

Punch My Mouth with Your Mouth - QuestCat44 - 4k - teen bkg spars with deku more bc OfA is acting up and he's the only one in the know. kiri gets jealous but he's so good-natured that his jealousy is only bc he misses sparring/spending time with bkg. BKG, on the other hand, is worried kiri is mad for different reasons asdkjfhasdhfa

all according to keikaku........... - carolinaa - 8k - teen the title should already tell you how good this is. I LOVE JEALOUSY FICS WHEN THEY'RE MORE FUNNY THAN ANGSTY AND THIS IS SO FUNNY. kiri gets tired of deku being a pussy around todo and decides to flirt with todo to get deku jealous enough to do sth about it. bkg and todo are both horrified for VERY different reasons DHADSKDFHJS

doll me up - shizuumi151 - 6k - gen kiri gets turned into a doll by a kid's quirk and no one knows. bkg still ends up caring for him :’)

These Words Are Ours - deviance - 2k - teen soulmate au but bkg figures who's going to say his words before it happens, and honestly that's kind of the point. he's not the type to fall in love at first sight. he MAKES the choice to love kiri and that, my friends, is my kind of soulmate au.

all good things need sunshine - shizuumi151 - 3k - teen FLORIST KIRI. BKG WANTS A BOUQUET THAT SAYS  'FUCK YOU'

Flour Power - WingSongHalo - 26k - teen KRBK HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A BAG OF FLOUR AND PRETEND IT'S THEIR BABY

feedback loop - bigstupidjellyfish - 1k - teen PRO HERO BKG GETS THROWN BACK IN TIME FOR A BIT AND MEETS MIDDLE SCHOOL KIRI AND HE'S SO SOFT TO HIM ASDFHKASDFJ. i am a big fan of bkg being a fan of kiri. i can't get ENOUGH OF IT. can someone give me more fics like this

mixed signals - bigstupidjellyfish - 2k -teen a short 'what if' fic where kiri and bkg went to the same middle school. bkg's still an ass but kiri's still his equal it seems, and is just as good as handling him as ever

Trash Goblin Finds Love - wrunic - 4k - teen COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA   KIRI GETS SICK ONE TIME AND BKG MAKES HIM SOUP AND FORCES KIRI'S COWORKER TO DELIVER IT ASDJHFS

Dreaming of a White Mocha Christmas - let_me_wander - 8k - teen ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP AU.  BARISTA KIRI AND HIS FAV CUSTOMER ;) GET SNOWED IN  

Something Warm - let_me_wander - 15k - teen YES FOLKS IT'S A A A ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP FIC, THAT'S RIGHT!! BARISTA BKG THIS TIME. also kr is in a band and writes a song for bkg asdfhksjd

Kneel - deviance - 7k - explicit idk if you wanted explicit stuff but this is pretty light sub stuff, they're not even properly together at the beginning, and there isn’t sex til the end. i just liked how kiri is the only one bkg would rely on for sth this private, and it's more emotional than it is sexual?

Everyone Knows That Cats Are Independent - PurplePersnickety - 39k - teen YET. ANOTHER. COFFEE SHOP AU. but also?? daemons?? katsuki's got a lionness, and kiri has a...i'll let you find out. anyway they become closer and closer and closer and the flirting is so fucking excruciatingly obvious but cute and sdkjfhasdjs it's such a queer experience like 'is he...no he cant be...but what if he did like me - no that's not possible. but what if?' and they get so domestic sometimes i swear i'm about to puke from how cute it is. this is my fav coffee shop au ngl

Broken Bridges - DeathBelle - 68k - explicit plot fic!! krbk loses touch after gradutation. kiri comes back from korea and starts to work together with bkg, dealing with a series of murders and MAN the action is 👌 easy to follow but it hits all the beats, has that Flow. krbk being a power couple will never get old!!

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things - chezka - 56k - gen pretty sure you've seen this one around but STILL. BKG FALLING FOR 'GHOST' KIRI IS BEST. this au really takes FULL COMPLETE advantage of the fact that krbk CANNOT TOUCH and the yearning practically astral-projected me back into the my past life when i was a dung beetle that got crushed under the foot of an elephant. it hurt, basically. but it hurt so good. JUST LET BKG HUG KIRI!!! happy ending ofc.

Catching Bees - MonocerosRex - 2k - teen bkg has to pay his classmates compliments. class 1a hijinks. the krbk in this is short but it made me squeal sdhfkakjl

i'm going to the forest to kick my own ass - WannabeMarySue - 5k - teen TODO PRANKS BKG BUT UNLUCKY FOR HIM BKG IS COMPETITIVE AND ACTUALLY LEARNS SOMETHING

Hair Care 101 - overlymetaromantic - 7k - gen ASDHFASDFHAJKS KIRI MEETS BKG'S MOM BY ACCIDENT AND GETS HAIR HELP AND THEY TALK ABOUT BKG AND IT'S SO. CUTE. AND THEN BKG DYES KR'S HAIR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER AND THEY'RE SO BLUSHY AND SWEET I CAN'T!!

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark - timetoboldlygo - 16k - teen BKG TAKING PHOTOS OF THINGS FOR THERAPY. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT HOW YOU PHOTOGRAPH THINGS YOU TREASURE 👀👀👀

Corn Chip - smol_bird - 23k - teen I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW WHY THIS DOESN'T HAVE MORE KUDOS. IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD. DEMON KIRI IS JOKINGLY SUMMONED BY BKG AND FRIENDS. THEY FALL IN LOVE. KIRI HAS TO LEAVE. BKG IS DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN. HAPPY ENDING. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR

'cause i love you for infinity - multiclassmaps - 23k - teen SDHFADSJFASD DEMON AU AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'S KIRI THAT DOES THE SUMMONING. BUT WHY DOES BKG SEEM SO FAMILIAR??? WHAT CAN KIRI DO TO MAKE HIM STAY??

to the beat of your heart - drifting_i - 8k - gen BAND AU. KIRI WORKS AT A RESTAURANT AND SOMEHOW BEFRIENDS DRUMMER BKG AND BKG'S BAND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT KIRI GETS AWAY WITH HALF THE SHIT BKG ALLOWS HIM TO

Playing Favorites - vaporeon_ninja - 2k - gen AKSDJFHJADHFKA BKG GETS CALLED OUT ON HIS KIRI FAVOURITISM

(Not Quite) Proposal - imatrisarahtops - 783 - teen DRUNK BKG IS SAPPY WITH HIS BOYF

something worth remembering - bbuggs - 1k - teen DRUNK BKG AGAIN!!! THIS TIME HE DOESN'T REMEMBER KIRI IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE'S SO DISTRAUGHT ABOUT KIRI BEING TAKEN SDFJHSK

A Dragon's Hoard - chezka - 10k - teen kiri gets turned into a dragon bc of a quirk. LOVE HOW DRAGON KIRI STILL LIKES BKG BEST

Love Notes - PurplePersnickety - 5k - teen LOVE NOTES BKG LEAVES LOVE NOTES FOR KIRI IT'S SO SWEET

Define: Oblivious - PurplePersnickety - 45k - teen this is the second part to Love Notes, it's still updating BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT TOO BC KIRI DOES STH SO BADASS DURING PRACTICAL TRAINING I LOVE HIM I REREAD THIS NOW AND THEN JUST FOR HOW COOL HE IS IN THAT ONE CHAPTER. also the steady, careful way krbk define their relationship and bkg's demisexuality is so sweet, so good.

The Hard Easy - dirtbag - 4k - teen this one is pretty popular but i still gotta mention it bc. kissing lessons. KISSING LESSONS!!! i love how eagar bkg is askdfhks

Kitsune's Pride - kytrin, Mslead - 147k - explicit okay this was A DOOZY like i???? the plot???? the time travel and the oni and kitsune stuff???? bkg and kiri being badasses??? bkg wanting the best for kiri and angrily supporting him??? this was the first time i kept up to date with a fic when it was still updating and commenting every chapte,r i was so hooked. and ALSO like the authors have written SO MUCH more longfics like this like they have NOVELS and i REALLY rec you check them out like....bro idk how they do they have so much out already and i think and they're updating two more rn and i'm. their bitch tbh

Burden of Proof - kytrin, Mslead - 153k - explicit OK ONE MORE REC FOR THESE AUTHORS. burden of proof is so. so fcukign good. i have adhd and these guys have never one lost me even tho their fics are upwards of 60k. this fic has dragons, it has plot, it has growth and healing and found families and i WISH i could write sth this intricate.

Burger Kings - plantegg - 5k - teen stupid teenage boys being stupid. kiri blackmails bkg into going on a date asjdfhkdsjfakd

Worth a Thousand Words - awareoftheconcept - 43k - teen SDKJFHASKH THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE I KNOW THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION TROPE IS OVERUSED BUT I CAN'T HELP FALL FOR ANGSTY KIRI AND OMG THE CONFRONTATION SCENE AT THE END IS SO. SO. SO MOVIE-ESQUE I HATE HOW LAME I AM. basically everyone thinks bkg is dating camie asdkjfhskd

Day 6: Fandom - PullingAllMighters, SweetBrew - 9k - mature bkg and kiri don't know each other until they're pro heros and only bc they start a competition to see who's better and they go to each other's signings undercover and develop crushes on each other and deku is an enABLER ASHAHAJFS

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers - Julietwasanidiot - 2k - gen GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BABY BKG "FINDERS KEEPERS" A BABY DRAGON KIRI SKDHFHD but he thinks kiri is a chicken

Charades - orphan_account - 4k - teen this is just soft....game night....at one point bkg acts out a really romantic word for charades and he's EMBARRASSED SDJFHA. also kiri falls asleep on him and there's some hair stroking....soft...

Cranky-rishima - PurplePersnickety - 29k - teen kirishima is the one with nightmares in this one and he gets CRANKY and BKG has to be the one to reach out and i thought that was such a fresh reversal loved it

No Secrets to Success - kingdoms - 7k - teen THIS IS MY FAV!! MY ABSOLUTE FAV JUST BC I LOVE IT WHEN FICS MAKE PEOPLE GAPE IN AWE FROM HOW SOFT BKG IS WITH KIRI. also krbk forming their relationship outside of school in this au was so??? sweet??? it's just them hanging out together. ALSO KIRI IS SO GOOD AT POKING BKG'S BUTTONS ASJDFHASK

Built to Fall - bigstupidjellyfish - 68k - explicit pro heros fic. they had a bad breakup in third year and oh god the angst is QUALITY. DW THEY TOTALLY MAKE UP AND IT'S SO FCKN WORTH IT. bkg also got therapy so he’s a little more stable as an adult lol

A Name That You'll Remember - heronfem - 33k - mature bkg is a fail!villain. he fell in with the wrong crowd when he was younger. he doesn't actually do anything wrong. in fact, all of his 'crimes' are generally stopped by kiri and somehow all end up exposing corruption anyway, so he's actually helping. kids love bkg. he always makes sure they're safe before he robs a jewelry store or sth. somehow kiri ends up flirting with him in all their fights and bkg has no idea what to make of him. the public can't get enough of them

strawberry mango sweet - redriotinggg - 9k - teen it's just a really sweet smoothie shop au!!! it's good reliable fluff!! what else can you ask for!!

cultivating something so divine - redriotinggg - 10k - teen redriotinggg yet again, i love this au, it's vet!au and kiri is so good at loving animals that bkg hires him and they fall in love and it's also got some competency porn, as in krbk are hella good at their job like power couple ayy

Tension Reduction - acernor - 10k - explicit Kirishima is a massage therapist and Bakugo needs help relaxing.

Mistletoe? Mistletoe. - Tearsaresalty - 2k - teen class 1a keeps making bkg kiss kiri and neither of them really mind wow i wonder why 🙄

[jackedspicer]

a bio for my xiaolinsona! she’s a work in progress so i’m bound to come back and change it. trivia and more in depth information is under the readmore :)

continued trivia:

she’d show up somewhere near the start of season 4

she’s used a LOT for slapstick. in fact she’s mostly a comic relief character

she’s guided mainly by emotions, is right brain oriented, and is a hands-on learner

there is a running gag where she frequently has bandaids on her fingers, hands, arms, or anywhere really

she’s a massive funk junkie. LOVES disco. she’s also a great dancer

when she comes up with xiaolin showdowns, sometimes she’ll base it off of fun recreational activities or things that seem harmlessly mundane, like mini golf..... tic tac toe.....dance-off...... rock paper scissors..... the showdowns themselves obviously end up being high-stakes and lethal as they always are, except they’re based off of goofy premises

she’s probably musically accented by grunge that’s slightly funky

when it’s funny, she occasionally will use huge words or make jarringly philosophical statements, eg patrick star’s “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma” cut to footage of milk spilling

shes a lot like charlie kelly. in general. any charlie moment is just. Her. she’s a wild card and screams every line and huffs glue and tries to get the honey out of a hornets nest outside of jacks house because she thinks hornets make honey and she likes ghouls and she genocides the rats in his basement and sleeps ass to ass with him and is illiterate

she likes to do arts and crafts but they almost always come out as abominations. she’ll occasionally borrow some of jack’s tools to construct her latest atrocity, and she’ll refer to them by a wrong/made up name while she’s at it. “the hacksaw duey”, “the electric hole puncher,” ”the automatic pizza cutter”, etc. yes the projects and the bandaids have a direct cause and effect relationship. please refer to this video (and this channel in general)

imagine her sitting at a table and just doing this in jack’s lair... this video alone can be used to sum up so much of her. the technique. the bandaids. the blatantly wrong information that’s said with such conviction. the dark turn towards the end of the video. “superfluous protrusion.” the way it ends

continued trivia pt. 2, taken from my instagram

(i’ll get into this more further down the post)

fighting style because this is xiaolin showdown:

she has a very nimble, disorienting style of combat. using pokemon stats as an analogy, her highest would be speed by far, followed by attack, with her lowest stats being defense and special attack. this combined with her unrelenting nature makes her an excellent distraction and a general nuisance, but she doesn’t fare well in prolonged head to head battle.

favorite shen gong wu: 

monkey staff, mikado arms, fancy feet, neptune helmet, hoduko mouse, woozy shooter (on herself), tongue of saiping, longi kite, indigo pyramid (on jack (cause it’s funny))

*the shen gong wu she’s most skilled with in battle are ones that trip up her opponents and cause status ailments. kinda like a prankster

backstory/analysis:

at her core, she’s a jolly, optimistic, humorous person, but her unruly, isolating childhood put a blow on her psyche. much like jack spicer, she’s been virtually alone her entire life - she was rejected by peers and adult figures alike since earliest childhood, and her home life was turbulent at best.

to ease the pain, at some point, she took on resenting and judging those around her as a means to cope. she has a holden caulfield-esque defense mechanism in play where if everybody sucks for this reason, or that reason, or those reasons, then she has justification for detaching herself from others, and she can derive her only source of self esteem from being better than them. this hurts far less than the devastating truth that she cannot connect with people on account of feeling so worthless and estranged from other human beings that she could never have the chance to be cared about by anyone. deep down, she’s in desperate, thrashing need of support and genuine human connection, and she has a warped perception of how she can achieve that.

she’s taken up evil as a hobby because it nurtures her desire to be destructive and, again, just like jack spicer, she engages in it as a way to feel seen. all press is good press, and the best way to make the headline is to cause some damage. what sets her apart from him in this regard, though, is that she takes all of her pain out on her enemies (in this case, the xiaolin monks) because she can’t stand how well off they are - instead, on the basis of their acceptance of one another, she sees them as goody two-shoes phonies who ought to be knocked down a peg. while evil to jack is both a means of getting much needed attention and a convoluted way of spending time with friends, to sid it’s a way to vent frustrations and a way to, well... still garner attention, but also spend time with a friend, except the friend is jack.

the other half of the reason she partakes in petty villainy is that it’s just... fun. she only got wrapped up in all this because she’d been restlessly putzing around somewhere remote, found a neat doohicky she planned on keeping, and when one thing led to another she wound up in a xiaolin showdown against jack. experiencing the chaos unfold revealed a golden opportunity she couldn’t pass up, so she asked jack to let her come with, debuting their partnership (i talk about this in further detail at the end of the post). goofing off and doing evil with him is so much fun to her! it makes her feel alive, a sensation and state of mind she never could fully achieve before.

noteworthy relationships:

jack: 

they have a team rocket thing going on. not in terms of their interpersonal dynamic, but rather their role in the story, how much of a threat they pose as, their schemes, and even their overall attitude are reminiscent of the iconic duo; they’re petty, recurring villains with hearts of gold who aren’t above occasionally siding with the good guys.

even though they both are on the same tier of comic relief and general foolishness, the metaphor i like to draw is that jack is the left brain and sid is the right brain.

their personalities have such chemistry and they’re both so goofy that they effortlessly sync up. everyone thinks it’s REALLY annoying

they’re best friends! they actually care very deeply for one another, even if they might have funny ways of showing it. they may be evil, but they’re mutually the only and closest friend the other has ever had, and with that carries a lot of weight. think of it - the first person you meet who hasn’t been nothing but awful to you likes you and wants to be around you. What a concept

while their relationship is platonic, there are several gags implying a romantic element, even though nothing is ever outright stated. kisses on the cheek, bashfulness, other characters making fun of them (“where’s your DUMB little girlfriend?” “..........she’s not DUMB!!!!!”), domestic references (“am i sleeping on the couch”)..... it’s left ambiguous because it’s hetbait plain and simple. somebody asks them what they even are and they say Partners In Crime wym. jack asks sid What Are We and she fist pumps the flat of her own chest twice, throws a peace sign and says We’re Bros

their nicknames for each other include but are not limited to “jackass, jacky-boy, jack-o-lantern, smarty pants, wiggles, spack jicer, spack, mr spack, spackle”, and “shortstack, pipsqueak, sid the kid, champ, funky monkey, foxy (in a funny way, he’ll say it like Whatcha Up To Foxy ? while she’s like making a mess doing an arts & crafts abomination or just vibing bein her weird lil self....  it comes from a place of playful sarcasm and affection) (champ, funky monkey, and foxy are courtesy of @currentlyfallingthroughspace)

to piggyback off of the left brain vs. right brain metaphor, “heart vs. brain is how they think, right brain vs. left brain is how they act, and two halves of a heart represents their natural dispositions” is how my aforementioned friend put it. they both have a lot of heart and are ooey gooey on the inside, but the difference is that sid can grasp the intricacies of emotional/psychological matters while jack can’t (actually knowing how to EXPRESS this is another topic). it’s in the same way that jack can effectively plan ahead, use logical reasoning, and know where to go and how to get there, but sid is shabby in this department. “one is aware but doesn’t address it until it’s too late, and one can’t see it and doesn’t ask until it’s too late.”  

another feature of potential conflict in all incarnations of them is the juxtaposition of sid actually being more down to earth than jack in the grand scheme of things. jack has the potential to go completely overboard, and whether or not he demonstrates the ability to catch himself on the event horizon will ascertain the outcome.

deep down, neither of them are truly evil, and they bring this out in each other as they ultimately contribute to the redemption of one another. how this actually happens is a lot rockier. sid has the intuition and self awareness to become increasingly cognizant of the fact that she engages in schemes as a way to bond with her friend, and, over time, she’s able to recognize that she’s simply been acting out, and she consequently softens up over time - but jack is much denser in this regard. he doesn’t consciously pick up on the same things she does and still believes that she’s drinking the koolaid as much as he is. the crucial dissonance in what matters most that had been incubating under the weight of things left unsaid emerges in a major falling out that challenges the nature of their entire dynamic and respective moral codes. i had a lot of help from the same friend with the following series of events and it’s really something that ought to be gone into detail on its own post, but a whirlwind brief summary is that jack becomes desperate from losing over and over so he comes up with this sinister plan that’s just too far, sid tells him to stop, they get into a nasty fight, sid leaves and makes it clear she’s not coming back, she goes to the xiaolin dragons for help, jack goes on an evil rampage but also loses his grip and has this mental breakdown because he lost the one person who’s ever cared about him (or so he thought), sid has the same brutal separation pangs but it doesn’t change the fact that jack is still doing what he’s doing, sid gets a firsthand view of a fight breaking out between the monks while she’s working with them and has a moment of clarity when she observes how they resolve it in such a healthy way, as they continue to work together and help her through the whole fiasco she realizes they’re not so bad, an entire excruciating series of events that’s genuinely too large to fit on this post unfolds and it ultimately ends with jack actually having to team UP with the good guys to stop what he started, and it ends with them breaking down, apologizing, and beginning their redemption BUT not without the illustration of several lessons that arose out of the complications of the entire thing...... the overarching lesson that’d been entrenched in their entire dynamic from the start, albeit corny, is that caring and being cared for was all they ever needed, and they learn to cultivate that within each other right under their own noses. it would be fun to have them stay as recurring villains forever, but seeing how much good is in their hearts is enough to make you wonder how they were ever evil.

xiaolin monks:

she thinks she hates them, but she doesn’t really. while her opinion of them is marked by resentment and distaste, she also holds them in high regard. a part of her wishes she could be friends with them, but the mental landscape she’s paved for herself doesn’t reveal that as an option. in her mind, she’s already been rejected by them. so why try?

the way she takes her pain out on them - people who had nothing to do with her traumas - can be summed up by the spinel su quote, “why do i want to hurt you so bad? i’m supposed to be a friend. i just want to be a friend.”

she gets chummier with them upon her redemption. out of the group, she gets along best with clay and dojo :) 

bonus origin episode

this would be the imaginary early season 4 episode i mentioned at the beginning of the post. it’s more of a loose string of ideas tied together with reckless abandon but hey. the episode would open with jack feeling lonely and down on his luck to establish the theme that he kinda needs a friend (”wuya’s gone, chase trained his cats to get surly with me if i show up, my evil dream team won’t answer my calls....”). his sulking is interrupted by a shen gong wu alert and he’s like. whatever. i don’t need them. i’m still gonna do this on my own. even if it’s. ˡᵒⁿᵉˡʸ. fastforward to the scene i described where sid is putzing around with her doohicky (which i’m considering might be the neptune helmet) all by her sad miserable lonesome when suddenly some flying bloke in a trenchcoat who looks like he hasn’t seen the sun in years shows up telling her she’s got something he needs. she of course responds with something along the lines of “you know what? why don’t you try to take it from me since you want it so bad, mr big stuff,” triggering a xiaolin showdown. this is around the time the xiaolin dragons show up too late - but they’re grateful for somebody having been there to fight jack in time, even if they have no idea who they are. she has no clue what’s going on, but whatever it is, she LOVES it. she goes buckwild. she has a time. jack, on the other hand.... well, understanding how badly he needs that wu is certainly throwing a wrench in it, but he can’t help but feel like he’s having a bit of fun too. well, up until he loses. post-showdown, the monks kinda count their chickens before they hatch so to speak and they rush over to this new kid with a shower of praise, thinking they have a friend on their side. instead, she cuts them off, shouts to the guy who’s gathering his bearings (or lack thereof) - “hey! jack was it?” - and playfully tosses her shen gong wu in the air, catching it. “you look like you need this thing way more than i do. tell you what! take me with and i’ll let you borrow it,” is what she follows it up with, implying she wasn’t really that invested and only saw the whole thing as a fun game. jack and the monks are flabbergasted. what’s more bizarre is she did in fact ask to join him, something nobody’s ever done out of their own volition before. she talks about how boooooooooooring it is here and how that was soooooo much fun and to pleeeeeeeease take her with. he’s really iffy about it and doesn’t know if it’s such a good idea. he tries to make himself look cool, telling her “as IF, shortstack..........im afraid The Jack Rides Alone................................................. but-” and ultimately buckling because he can’t deny that it would be nice to have someone around.

[ducktracy]

181. the case of the stuttering pig (1937)

disclaimer: this review contains antisemitic content, stereotypes, and imagery. i in no way endorse any of this, but it’s just as important to bring awareness to these depictions rather than shove them under the rug. please, PLEASE let me know if i make any mistakes or say something offensive, i want to take responsibility for my actions and use this as an opportunity to educate myself. any outside commentary is more than welcome. thank you for your patience and understanding.

release date: october 30th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: frank tashlin

starring: mel blanc (porky, the guy in the third row), billy bletcher (lawyer goodwill), sara berner (petunia)

just in time for the halloween season, we explore one of tashlin’s best directorial efforts to date. the case of the stuttering pig (its title derived from the case of the stuttering bishop, a warner bros. film released only 4 months prior) is the first of many warner bros. cartoons to take a jab at the ever popular dr. jekyll and mr. hyde. here, porky and his family (4 brothers and petunia, who serves as his sister rather than a love interest) are terrorized by the nefarious lawyer goodwill, the family lawyer who turns himself into a mr. hyde facsimile, hoping to kill the family in order to snag some inheritance money.

frank tashlin’s cinematography is in peak form as the cartoon opens to a ghastly exposition--william tell’s “the storm” rages alongside a furious storm. intricate camera angles include an upshot on a giant old house, trees whipping in the wind against the flashing lightning, and a close up of the window shudders snapping against the exterior. the snaps of the window shudders soon melt into the droning tick of a clock inside, an upshot exposing dynamic, drawn out shadows against the walls. tashlin handles the contrast between values exceptionally well. backgrounds are crisp, clear, and pronounced.

cue a vertical pan of porky’s siblings (patrick, peter, percy, portus, and petunia) all lined up against the wall in a row of chairs. each appear apprehensive, obviously on edge. not porky, though. porky’s at the very end of the row, looking on with a hilariously blank smile plastered on his face. 

suddenly, a knock at the door interrupts the silence. cue the famous tashlin jump cut: we only see volney white’s animation of porky jumping out of his seat, but the next shot reveals all of the siblings hanging from a chandelier, with porky trepidatiously inquiring “who-who-who-who-who-who’s theh-the-the-the-the-there...?” you can still feel mel’s attempts to distinguish his own unique porky stutter from the authentic stutter provided by joe dougherty--this delivery is more dougherty-esque than some of his others. 

billy bletcher’s syrupy sweet vocals ring out from behind the door, the disembodied voice introducing himself as lawyer goodwill. the decision not to showcase who’s behind the door is a smart one. suspense is absolutely rife all throughout the cartoon, and the beginning is no exception. with a peppy “okey deh-eh-eh-deh-do... oh-oh-okey deh-deh... okay!”, porky is followed by his siblings as he happily allows this mysterious lawyer goodwill inside. the suddenly calm, almost wholesome atmosphere inside, reassured by the self-proclaimed friendly presence of lawyer goodwill is disrupted as soon as the door opens, wind howling and blowing the entire family down the hallway as goodwill fights his way inside, his face (and head, for that matter) completely concealed by his hat and collar. tashlin plays on this as goodwill removes his hat, a mere nub placed where his neck should be as a waterfall of rain pours out from the hat. nevertheless, goodwill reveals himself, a portly yet good-natured looking fellow as he tells the children it’s time to attend to “business”.

lawyer goodwill gathers the kids around to discuss the matter of their late uncle solomon (a pig caricature of oliver hardy, just one of a handful) and his will. the animation is slightly blurred and jittery from the double exposure effects of the shadows--animation historian mark kausler has this to say (transcribed from his excellent commentary that i’m partially parroting):

“they used to hand crank the cameras here. this was before electric drive animation cameras--that’s why the shadows are so flickery, because they had to back the film up and then re-expose it to get the transparency of the shadow.”

uncle solomon’s will states that his heirs will inherit his money. however, if something were to happen to them, then lawyer goodwill gets the cash instead. goodwill exits the house, reassuring that nothing will happen to the kids... “...i hope!”

there’s a gorgeous, moody upshot of the porch as goodwill lumbers down the steps. volney white is at the hand of this scene, easy to spot thanks to his telltale speed: goodwill practically glides across the screen as he heads towards offscreen, only to whip back and put a hand over his hear, nefariously straining to hear if he’s being followed. volney’s pose and expression are as strong as ever--i made a reel of his animation awhile ago if you’d like to check it out!

bob bentley takes over to animate goodwill’s transformation into the monster--his animation is very meticulous and well crafted. a good way to spot him is to see if characters have thicker eyebrows in some scenes than others. goodwill swaps clothes in favor of a hat and cape almost effortlessly, gliding across the screen like butter. the flow isn’t interrupted, not even by the overlay of tables decorated with test tubes, skulls, etc. 

all of goodwill’s potential queries on how to transform into a hideous beast are answered with a bottle of “jekyll and hide juice” (starting at only $9.99! call now and get another FREE at no cost to you! it’s a steal, folks!)  nestled conveniently on his shelf of various poisons. he pours the concoction into a cocktail, acting like a regular bartender as he shows off by pouring the mixture from glass to glass. tashlin’s timing, both behaviorally and comically, are succinct as goodwill finally downs the mixture. he grips the table, taking heaving breaths, staring at the audience, until... nothing. he heaves a dubious shrug. 

instead, goodwill opts to use a milkshake mixer (a relatively new invention whose novelty value would have scored much bigger laughs then than it does today, but still remains amusing at the very least) to mix his concoction, downing it once more.

bob bentley’s animation of the monster is nothing short of gorgeous. well defined, well crafted, and dimensional. however, it does encapsulate antisemitic stereotypes and caricatures, from the big nose to clawed hands and pointy ears, as well as the desire for money. as skillful as the animation is, and as solid as the cartoon is, these are problems that still need to be addressed. understand that when i’m praising the animation, i’m focusing on the techniques themselves and the technicalities behind it, not the content that’s being animated itself. (thank you anon for taking the time to educate me! it’s much appreciated.) 

billy bletcher snarls in his trademark deep voice, even quipping “you wouldn’t think i was lawyer goodwill now, would you?” he talks directly to the audience, getting right close in their face, jabbing his spindly finger and bulbous nose. he even goes as far as to berate his public by screeching “you bunch of softies! YEAH, YOU IN THE THIRD ROW! ya BIG SOFTIE!” the fourth wall breaking is nothing short of genius. just IMAGINE seeing this in a dark, packed movie theater! the effect would be phenomenal! (especially if you were the guy in the third row! i’m sure all of the third-row-sitting patrons felt quite satisfied at these showings.) the monster vows to dispose of the family, sneering at our inability to help save our heroes.

said heroes are contentedly socializing in the living room, peppy porky talking about how safe and sound they are in their own little house. so, of course, that serves as the cue for a gnarly hand to grab the light switch and kill the lights. i love the detail of the shadow creeping along the wall before you even see the hand itself--little decisions like that go such a long way.

the lights go out, and all we hear is the pluck of an electric slide guitar. the lights come on, and one of porky’s alliteratively named siblings is gone, with an x cleverly marked in his place. the ritual occurs four times, with porky remarking each of the names of his fallen siblings (”peh-peh-patrick!” “eh-peh-peh-peh-eh-peter!” “eh-peh-peh-eh-peh-percy!” “puh-portus!”). the lights go out once more, and x’s mark where porky and petunia were just sitting prior. definitely an artsy and interesting way to convey the kidnappings--even more so when we see porky and petunia trepidatiously popping their heads out from behind the armchair after the camera trucks in on their deserted spot.

volney white animates the close up of petunia clutching to porky, stuttering (from fear, that is) “g-g-gee, p-p-porky, i’m scared!” her voice here is provided by sara berner as opposed to berneice hansell, who voiced her in her last appearance in porky’s romance. ironically, hansell would take over for petunia again after bob clampett adopted (and subsequently redesigned) her character. you can hear the evolution of her voice here. 

porky reassures her that they’ll find the brothers as we cue a clever pan from inside to outside the house, spotlighting the basement. the backgrounds are so gorgeous and moody! we find the pigs tied up in stocks, with the monster sneering about how he’ll do away with all the pigs once he nabs porky and petunia. once more, our ever-aware villain resorts to heckling the poor sap in the third row: “and if that guy in the third row comes up, I’LL FIX HIM TOO! you big CREAMPUFF!” again--this is exceedingly entertaining to watch 83 years later on a laptop screen, but imagine what a riot this would be in theaters! frank tashlin understood that the audience was paying to watch his cartoons, and he knew how to make it worth their time. the cartoons catered to the audience rather than the studio executives always make for the best ones--tex avery was especially keen of this, as we’ll soon explore.

back to porky and petunia, both cautiously traipsing down the hallway as porky calls the names of his fallen brothers, both straining to hear any signs of life. while the poses aren’t nearly pushed to the same extremes as they would be in tashlin’s second directorial stint from 1943-1946, they’re still quite nice and accentuated just enough. certainly stronger than the poses present in the other directors’ cartoons. seeing as tashlin was a newspaper cartoonist, his illustrative, comic look translates well into his own cartoons. it’s almost as if his comic art has leapt right off the page, but also meshes well enough with the animation to have a good sense of motion to it. it’s the best of both worlds.

while porky is unaware, petunia is yanked off screen by a hand protruding from a trick wall panel. suddenly, the villain himself tinkers behind porky, mimicking his movements. porky even manages to grab a hold of his gangly hand, assuming it’s petunia, going so far as to look him straight in the eyes and shush him. the volney white animated villain looks strikingly different than that of bob bentley’s--volney’s is exceedingly more streamlined and design driven, especially around the eyes. he’s not nearly as hairy, grotesque, or dimensional. not that that’s a bad thing! in fact, i love when animators are able to make their styles so distinguishable from the other animators. not only is it fun, it makes identifying animation much easier.

when porky finally realizes that he’s being stalked by the monster, he does the signature volney white eye take and runs for the hills, er, stairs. tashlin’s speed dominates as porky scales flights of stairs at lightning speeds--it’s dizzying to even watch! eventually, porky jumps right into the arms of the monster, clinging to him (thinking it’s petunia) as he describes what he just saw: “i eh-seh-saw the most teh-teh-teh-eh--awful leh-leh-lookin’ man, all beh-beh-big and beh-beh-eh-bleh-black... beh-beh-BIG teeth...” all the while, porky is grabbing onto the villain’s nose and clinging to him like a baby. the animation is positively hilarious, especially when porky recognizes who he’s being cradled by, actually connecting nose to snout as he lets out a scream and barrels down the staircase once more, the same footage from before just in reverse. a wonderful scene with great dialogue and hilarious animation. bob clampett would borrow this in his own jeepers creepers just two years later, with a ghost in place of the monster.

porky locks himself in the basement, discovering his siblings tied up in stocks (”leh-leh-land sakes alive!”), his attempts to free them interrupted by the sound of the villain knocking the door down. interestingly enough, after we pan to the monster infiltrating the premises, the next shot is the entire family huddled in a corner, indicating that porky did manage to free them after all. the technique is reminiscent of the cartoon’s beginning, where we see only porky jump out of his seat before showing all of the siblings hiding in the chandelier. 

just as it looks like the pig family is bacon, a random chair from offscreen is lobbed at the monster, sending him tumbling right into the stocks. the family is just as perplexed as the viewer, asking in unison “who DID that?”

“ME!” mel blanc’s gruff, more natural voice rings out from behind the screen. the locked up monster ogles at the audience, pointing a gangly finger as he snarls “who are YOU?” mel’s tough guy new yoik accent snarls back “I’M DA GUY IN DA THOID ROW, YA BIG SOURPUSS!” iris out on a deflated, dejected villain--just IMAGINE witnessing this in real time in the theaters! 

this cartoon is one of the reasons why frank tashlin is one of my favorite directors of all time. it’s got all of the tashlin essentiasl. the effects animation by A.C. gamer at the beginning is lovely, doing a wonderful job of establishing such an eerie mood. the raging, wild storm juxtaposes perfectly with the unsettlingly still atmosphere inside the house. lawyer goodwill makes an excellent villain, topped off with billy bletcher’s vocals and bob bentley’s skilled animation. the constant fourth wall breaking with him... need i say more? it’s such a great way to involve the audience with the picture and really suck in their attention, especially that ending. the animation is excellent, the backgrounds are gorgeous, it’s absolutely rife with atmosphere. this is tashlin’s best effort thus far and one of his best efforts overall.

however, the antisemitic stereotypes and caricatures should be accounted for. while i do say you should watch this one to get an idea of frank tashlin’s mastery as a director, tread with caution and discretion. i absolutely don’t endorse these concepts. so, if you do want to watch it, you can go to HBOmax or click this link, just be advised.