#but how much will i be able to play a part in this process of his?

[zosan-secondchances]

The Pirate King of the North: Part 10

Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship

Warning: Long post ahead with One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language and explicit content.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

It was an early morning start for everyone aboard the Polar Tang.

Zoro and Sanji had spent the night together in the bubble ship parked on deck for a much needed quality time, much to Niji's dismay. The helmeted blue-haired commander found them ass naked in their hiding place at first light and woke them up. He was finally able to finish Sanji's claw gauntlet fitting which took no time at all. While he was there, he saw an opportunity to improve the ship's primitive maneuvering system to ensure that the bulky vessel has the capability to take sharper, faster turns in case of any events of unexpected knock up streams.

After getting kicked out of the bubble ship by the demanding Niji, Zoro ran back to their room to dress up and finish packing for the trip. He had nothing but his underwear on him after getting his clothes torn up during his crazy night of passion with the blonde. He received a lot of stares and some light-hearted teasing from the crew during his walk of shame but he wore it with a shameless smirk. In his mind, it was all worth it. Though he makes it a point to try and patch up the garment that his friends worked so hard to make for him later.

Sanji stayed in the ship, also naked after having his clothes somehow lost in the process. He has entrusted the swordsman to fetch him his travel pack that he'd prepared the night before so he sat waiting on one of the passenger seats, snuggling himself in Niji's long cloak to keep warm. As much as he appreciates his brother's thoughtfulness by offering him his cape, and the extra effort he's putting in to improving the ship, he still holds a grudge on him for picking on his beloved Marimo, especially after last night's progression in their relationship. He glares down at the blue-haired commander who is currently in deep concentration, fine-tuning the steering wheel from the pilot seat.

Zoro returns wearing fresh new robes and holding two travel packs over his shoulders. He begins hauling them into the ship while standing outside by the door to respectfully keep his distance from the blonde's brother who is hard at work. He starts arranging bags under the side consoles to ensure that their possessions are secured and out of the way. Sanji gratefully grabs spare clothes from his own bag from where he sat.

Before dressing up, the blonde suddenly realises the perfect opportunity for revenge–in front of the very man his brother had picked on. He leans back against his seat, hugs his knees up to his chest, and strokes a lock of hair, trying to play it casual.

Sanji

So Niji, how's our chef Cosette doing?

Caught completely off guard, Niji yanks the steering wheel off its panel, tearing wires and other components that he'd meticulously been working on for the last hour. His face had suddenly gone scarlet red and blood trickled down his nose.

Sanji smirks at his brother's reaction. He leans his cheek against the palm of his hand and tilts his head innocently, watching the man practically start hyperventilating. He could have sworn he saw tiny sparks of electricity emit at the tip of his blue hair.

Zoro looks shocked and pissed at the commander for breaking Nami's old bubble ship.

Niji

I–hah–why would I…she's a servant. Loyal and… dedicated and… talented and…. How… why would you–hah–what possessed you to think that I would know–?

Niji looks down at the panel where he'd ripped out the steering wheel and then at his hand where he's gripping it. His tight hold around the handles had contorted its shape. Slowly, he realises what he'd done. He drops to his knees and starts repeatedly banging his head against it in frustration.

Sanji

So…I take it she's well then?

Niji pauses his movements to shoot him a furious glare behind his goggles, his cheeks still reddened.

Sanji hears a faint sound of their host captain from a distance talking to his crew while approaching the ship. He sounded excited for a change as they're finally lifting off to Skypiea. When Law hopped up onboard, he froze at the sight of seeing the Pirate King practically naked in his seat and the commander holding onto the broken steering wheel.

Law

What the hell is this? Why are you tearing apart my bubble ship?

I don't even know what's going on with you, Mr. Prince-ya.

Niji

I can explain–!

Zoro and Sanji 

Niji broke the ship.

Law practically had smoke coming out of his ears. He rolls up his sleeves.

—

Sanji

That's not… where I thought that was going to go….

Niji

Really now?

Zoro, Sanji and Niji all had bumps on their heads from the fuming captain. They all stood in pain behind Law who is making a final speech to the Heart Pirates crew before separating from them until they return from Skypiea. He wanted to make sure that everyone is fully aware of their plan to meet back near Jaya, and told them to stay under the radar by not staying in one place too long. They're to keep a constant eye on their long distant transponder snail in case there are any emergencies.

Niji had repaired the damage he’d done and replaced the disfigured steering wheel for a makeshift one. He still managed to do the maneuver upgrade that he wanted right on schedule so Law's punishment on him wasn't as harsh.

Sanji soothes his painful bump with a hand, wondering if he should have done his act of revenge another day. At least he has clothes now and his claw gauntlet fitted properly with its blades retracted.

Zoro had no idea what exactly just happened but given how much he'd been getting punished by Law recently, he just accepted his fate.

They sail the Polar Tang until it reaches a good distance away from Jaya to avoid any unwanted attention during take off. Niji launches himself in the air to scout ahead, hoping to travel high enough to potentially find the floating island by eye and watch out for any unwelcoming shifts in weather. They're to keep tabs with him through transponder snails. Bepo reported that there may be a storm later in the day but if they reach the sky island before late afternoon, they should be safe.

Zoro, Sanji and Law follow by bubble ship shortly, waving farewell to the rest of the Heart Pirates from inside as they lift off. The blonde volunteered to pilot as he claimed to have done it before. This proved evident when he started up the engines, inflated the float bubble and launched the vessel without a fuss. Before they know it, they reach their desired altitude just under the stratosphere where they reconvened with the commander as planned.

Zoro and Law watched the two siblings, surprised at how quickly their dynamic switched as they expertly navigated the skies together. Past all their snide jabbing and teasing, Sanji and Niji operated like two veteran mercenaries who clearly had years of experience in their arsenal. Niji flew ahead and continuously sent advice through his den-den mushi, and Sanji made executive decisions based on his brother's reports and piloted the ship expertly. They managed to avoid troublesome cloud formations without a navigator, thanks to their collaborative teamwork.

Law

How do you know how to fly so well, Mr. Prince-ya?

Sanji

Err…I'm the only one who doesn't fly in the family so I tend to take a bubble ship for myself when I need to.

Niji interrupts through the transponder snail.

Niji 

Correction–he chooses not to. He can, if he just wears his–

Sanji

Commander, we talked about this.

Niji

Tch.

Zoro was looking at Sanji curiously, clearly wanting to hear more about the whole subject of flying but the blonde wants to avoid the uncomfortable topic so he quickly shifts the conversation. He clears his throat.

Sanji

Marimo-kun, can you please remind us what we're on a lookout for?

Zoro

We're trying to find South Birds or one of its variants. They're native to Skypiea and a lot bigger up here. They should help us find the island.

Otherwise we should see thick solid clouds with houses or a jungle on them. It's pretty big so it's hard to miss.

Sanji

Did you get that, Commander?

Niji

Got it.

There is a painful stretch of silence as the ship floats aimlessly in the sky. This part of the troposphere should be thinning out of clouds but today seems to be an odd exception as it's more fogged up than usual. Zoro notices Sanji gradually getting worried after an hour with no news. He starts impatiently tapping his fingers on the steering wheel while his feet twitch restlessly, his hand almost reaching out for the den-den mushi several times but ultimately acts against it.

Zoro

Hey…is everything okay?

Sanji

Y–yeah…. I just… don't worry about it.

Law

If you’re that concerned, we should call him.

Sanji

Maybe…. Give him more time. He might be in the middle of something.

After several more tense minutes, they hear a long squawk from a distance behind them. Zoro, Sanji and Law turn their heads to find a large bird, more than twice the size of their bubble ship, writhing mid-air. Around its body, a familiar blue-haired man gripped around its neck, trying to force its wings closed with his legs. He carries it with difficulty towards the bubble ship, his boots kicking off pulses in different directions to try and gain some semblance of stability.

Law

What the hell–?

Sanji starts laughing out loud as the bird throws its head wildly in every which way. It relentlessly flaps its wings and kicks its sharp talons out madly, desperate to free itself from the commander's death grip.

Niji stops just in front of the ship while still wrestling with the bird.

Niji

Is this–?? OWW!!!

The commander only just manages to dodge the bird’s attempt to eat his face, but the side of his face gets whacked with its powerful beak with a loud crack.

Niji

IS THIS IT, SWORDSMAN?!?

Zoro

Err…

Zoro looks back and forth between Niji and the giant bird dumbfoundedly, still trying to take in the comical scene before them.

The blonde shuffles through his pack calmly.

Sanji

Does anyone else have a camera?

Niji

Fuck–! Answer already!! Is this a South Bird or what?!

Zoro

Yes…?

Niji

Why do you sound so unsure?!

Zoro

It's been a while, okay?! And I can't see the crest properly! Can’t you hold it still?

Niji

FUCK YOU, YOU BROCCOLI HEAD! You come out here and do it then!

Zoro

It's MARIMO!!!

Sanji

Yonji’s going to love this.

Sanji finally pulls out a photo camera and snaps a couple of shots of the action, cheerfully kicking his legs from his seat in delight.

Sanji

And for the fridge….

He turns his seat around and takes a nice photo of Zoro laughing at Niji. He also manages to catch one of Law who can't help but bear a small entertained smile on his face under the shade of his cap.

Law

Oi! Watch the talons! Back off, Commander or it will pop the bubble!

Niji briefly dips out of sight but manages to recover. Zoro takes his time thinking, his hand massaging his jaw as he digs through his memory banks while watching the commander wrestle the giant bird.

Sanji

You know, I've seen them in a book.

Niji

So what?! Is this it??

Sanji

…It was a black and white print. I don't know if the colour matters.

Niji

Oh, for fuck's sake! Don't give me useless information!

Law

Zoro-ya, just say something already!

Zoro

Curls made a good point…. Was it more blue or more pink…? Is the face really that long? I can't remember.

Law slowly pulls out the feather from his pocket that Corazon had left behind for him, very carefully taking his time to avoid damaging it. He holds it up in his hand for everyone to look at.

Sanji

It's a little more pale than the one Niji’s holding.

Law

Maybe it was younger?

Niji

I hate all of you.

Zoro

I think… I think it is a South Bird.

Niji finally releases the furious bird from his grip. He dodges its angry pecks and swooping before it flies away from them. His clothing had suffered huge scratches throughout his body.

Sanji

Great job, Commander! Need a break?

The blue-haired man flops over the side of the ship, half hanging off the edge as he catches his breath.

Sanji turns the vessel to follow the bird. Thanks to his brother's earlier modifications, they're able to keep up with it without an issue.

After a few moments, Niji pulls himself up to sit on the side of the ship with his feet dangling over the edge, all the while keeping a close eye at the pursuit. He clenches his fist over his chest, still feeling breathless and the altitude isn’t doing him any favours.

Sanji notices the commander’s state and he narrows his eyes at his damaged helmet. A large piece at the front is cracked so badly that it’s just about ready to fall off at any moment.

Zoro offers the blue-haired man his flask of water. Reluctantly, Niji accepts and drinks from it, too tired to say no.

Sanji

I need you to go home, Commander.

Niji

No, I can make it. I promised I'd get you to Skypiea–

Sanji

No, Niji. Not this time.

After another swill, the commander wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and glares at Sanji.

Sanji

We'll be fine, alright?

And…you still have that other mission. You can't dally.

Niji doesn't turn his head but behind his goggles, Zoro notices that he shifts his eyes between him and the blonde. Ultimately, the blue-haired man sighs exasperatedly and throws the half empty flask back to him.

Niji

Fine. But I'm not happy about it.

Sanji gives him a weak smile to try and reassure him.

Sanji

I know.

The blonde turns his attention back towards the South Bird. When he notices that Law gazes away from him as well, Niji takes the opportunity to quickly grab Zoro's arm and shoves something metallic and cold in his robe’s long sleeve, out of everyone else's sight.

The swordsman was initially freaked out but picked up on his discretion. He raises a brow curiously at him.

Niji releases him and gives a thankful nod. He turns his attention back to the blonde.

Niji

Later, Your Highness.

Sanji

Thank you for all your assistance, Commander.

And…get home safe. That's an order.

Niji

Ugh… don't be gross.

He angles himself on the bubble ship, facing the opposite direction where the group is heading. With a kick of his Raid Boots, he sends a strong pulse of force against the surface of the vessel, giving them a rapid boost forward towards the bird. The passengers onboard see him take off into the distance the other way.

Sanji melts in his seat from relief.

Law

What was that other mission, Mr. Prince-ya? …Or is this one of those on the “need-to-know basis” things that you mentioned?

Sanji purses his lips, seriously considering Law's question. After a while, he answers.

Sanji

I sent him to infiltrate Doffy’s ranks…discreetly.

I don't know if I should have done it earlier but…Doffy’s just been too quiet and I don't like it.

Law has a surprised look on his face but decides against arguing about it, detecting the man's genuine concern about the situation and risking his own brother to investigate. In his head, he weighs all the things that the blonde had done to help him during their quest so far. He hated him a little for not following through on any one of his plans, but he can't ignore the fact how effective Sanji has been. He decides to do the unthinkable and put his faith on him.

Law

Do you think there's a possibility that we're in danger?

Sanji

I always think that we’re in danger. How much exactly…is hard to say…. I don't like working blind, doctor. That's why I'm taking the risk. But this means that I have to trust my brother to do the right thing. You've seen him prove himself in the short time he's with us. I hope that's enough to give you comfort.

The doctor eyes the man up and down, considering his words and trying to get a better read on him. He crosses his arms and looks away silently. To him, it sounded like the blonde was trying to convince himself more than anything that he's made the right call.

Zoro felt that cold texture in his sleeve. When he peeks under his robe, he sees a dark canister with the number “3” on it. Confused but thinking it might be important for later, he shifts it somewhere more securely in his haramaki.

—

As they travel, the sky becomes too hazy to see through. After what seemed like hours of obscured vision similar to that of a whiteout during a blizzard, the South Bird descends just as the passengers in the bubble ship start to lose their patience. The fog parts before them and, up ahead, they see a vast sea of clouds stretching far beyond what the eye could see. 

Zoro

THERE! The White Sea!

Sanji

Holy shit.

Law

How is this possible…?

The South Bird that they’ve been following disappears somewhere in the horizon as Skypiea finally comes to their full view. As they near, they see a small settlement that consists of tented dwellings, various totems of cultural significance and a tall structure that looks like a wooden watchtower poking out near the edge of the dense jungle.

Zoro 

Odd…we should have seen someone by now. The last time I was here, someone was collecting tolls.

Sanji

Hmm…what do you think, doctor? Where should we land?

Law lays the map on the console in front of the blonde and points near the edge of the island.

Law

Let's dock at this shoreline near that village. If that's what I think it is, they would have seen us by now from that watchtower. I want to make sure that we’re not intruding on anyone's territory before we can properly introduce ourselves. I don't know what they're like but I'd like to avoid any political dramas if we can help it.

Also, we need to check our fuel before we get too far. We need to have enough to go back with.

Sanji follows his direction, and lands the ship near a sturdy tree, not bothering to deflate the bubble in case they need to take off soon again.

When they disembark, Zoro immediately secures the bubble boat using its mooring line, then sets to work to check on the state of the ship while Law walks off to investigate the nearby houses for any locals. 

—

After a loo break and doing some warm up exercises, Sanji is feeling excited for the new adventure. All his worrying about his brother had overshadowed the fact that he hadn't gone out to properly stretch his legs in a mission for a long time. But now, after seeing a few of the local flora and fauna that he'd never seen before, the blonde is positively enthusiastic for whatever is in store ahead. He approaches the tired-looking captain who is hunched over with the swordsman on the side of the bubble ship, trying to read the map in their possession.

Sanji

Alright, Traffy!

The blonde claps and rubs his hands together in excitement, practically bouncing on his step as he closes in on his companions.

Sanji

I am at your disposal, ready for anything! Just say the word! So what's the plan? I'm assuming you have a well thought through plan? Let's hear it!

Zoro walks to stand behind Sanji with a bright smile on his face, supporting the blonde's statement. He puts his hands on his hips, looking like he's also ready for anything the doctor throws at them.

Law kept still, remaining hunched over the piece of paper, his expression hidden behind the shade of his cap.

Zoro

I uh… feel bad for pretty much wrecking every part of your plans leading up to today so…I'm with Curls. We'll do everything you say. By the book.

Without moving his body, Law turns his head slightly towards them, still hesitating to show his face.

Sanji

Traffy? You okay?

Law

I…

Law finally straightens up to look at his companions eye to eye. He has a morbid look on his face.

Law

I…I don't have any plans.

Zoro and Sanji's jaws drop in disbelief as the doctor rubs the back of his neck shyly. They see his ears redden from embarrassment.

Law

I usually just…wing this part somehow. But I'm stuck without my guys…. I don't actually know how we've come this far….

There was an awkward pause then Sanji suddenly bursts into a fit of laughter and Zoro grins widely at the doctor. Between difficult breaths, the blonde speaks.

Sanji

I was–so, so prepared to do everything right by you!!!

I thought–the doctor is alright–he's great–he saved my life. I need to make up for it–show how much I appreciate him–

He falls to his knees, tears flowing freely from his face. His laughter has become so unhinged that even Zoro's shoulders start twitching from the contagion.

Sanji

And now–now we ask for it and you DON'T have anything?! BWAHAHAHA–!!

Law’s expression darkens just as gradually as Sanji's laughter gets more out of hand. When the doctor finally snaps, Sanji receives well-deserved smacks on his head and the bumps that come with them.

—

After Law tells him that the settlement is weirdly deserted, Zoro suggests that they make their way to Upper Yard, remembering the treaty between Skypiea’s citizens and the tribe of Shandia. They had the joint intention of reclaiming the land that the former God, Enel, once took control of. He thinks that maybe they had all moved there as their new home.

Law supported this as they simply just need more information at this point to see if anyone remembers any Marines or someone of Corazon’s description visiting. He makes an executive decision that they walk to the place, not wanting to miss out on any opportunities that might come their way and use up any more fuel than they already have.

They each carry their own packs and walk towards the general direction where the swordsman pointed to on the map, though Law doesn't have high hopes given the man's directional skills. The bubble ship was left behind after being relocated in the jungle, covered in leaves and other floor debris to keep it out of sight.

Eventually, they come across their first obstacle–a wide river of clouds that separates their side of the land and where they need to be. The moving puffs of cloud before them makes it look like water flowing between solid ground.

Zoro

You can swim in it but from what I remember, there are these things called err… hmm….

Law kicks a pebble into the river. It creates a ripple that spreads right through to the middle, causing a disturbance under the surface. A giant length of scales erupt through the puffs of white then the creature slithers away as quickly as it came.

Sanji

Woah! It's like…what–a Seaking in the sky or something?

Zoro

Sort of. There’s a lot of Sky Fishes. But there’s also Sky Sharks and these giant worms with teeth.

Law

So…no swimming then. That's not a problem.

Zoro

We passed by a big tree with vines. We can swing across–

Law

Don't bother.

The doctor brings up his hand and conjures his Room ability. With a couple of flicks, he teleports Zoro and Sanji to the other side, swapping places with jungle debris in the area. He follows them himself shortly after.

Sanji

Give us a warning next time!

The swordsman and the blonde struggle to stand from the ground, feeling woozy from the sudden vertigo.

They continue their journey forward, stopping often whenever they find an interesting specimen that they each want to look at. They felt like children with short attention spans, getting distracted at everything new everywhere they go. Sanji having a camera also meant more delays whenever he wanted to stop and take pictures. When Law told him to put it away, the blonde snarled and said it was the gift from his Heart Pirates crew. They had made him promise to snap shots of their adventure on their behalf. Law didn't bother him about it since then.

They come across two more gaps to hurdle. Each time, Zoro insists that they swing on a vine but they get teleported before they could say anything about it. Sanji's starting to get sick of being moved from one place to the next so carelessly. After the third time, he finally snaps.

He grabs Law's wrist just as he was about to use his Shambles ability again. The doctor glares at him angrily for the interruption.

Sanji

NO! NO MORE. I'M SICK OF THIS! I almost threw up last time!

Law

What the hell, Mr. Prince-ya?! Get your hands off me!

Sanji pushes Law on the chest childishly.

Sanji

You're taking the fun out of it!!!

Law

The…fun?

Sanji

We're adventuring pirates! We're supposed to go through struggles and find ways to overcome them! Not just…whatever the hell you're doing!

Law

You're complaining about…lack of struggle.

Sanji

You're making it too easy!

Zoro

Traffy, I know I said I'd do everything you say but…I kinda agree with Curly.

Law

…You just want to swing.

Sanji

Let the man swing!

Zoro crosses his arms and nods his head in agreement. Law slaps his forehead in frustration at the whole notion.

Law

It would be faster if–

Zoro and Sanji 

NO!!!

Law

Oh, for the love of–FINE!!! How do you propose we cross–

Flailing his arms forwards, Law gestures at the wide river separating them from the next piece of land. The distance is almost twice as long as the length of the Polar Tang.

Law

This?!

Sanji places his arms on his own hips and smirks.

Sanji

I propose a game.

Law

A game?

Sanji

Something that I like to play with my siblings when we're out on joint ventures. It'll be fun, I promise!

Slightly intrigued, Law crosses his arms and listens intently.

Law

Alright…. Let's hear it.

Happy with Law's willingness to listen, Sanji claps his hands together enthusiastically and begins to make hand gestures as he talks.

Sanji

We each hurdle obstacles however we want BUT we have to make it as cool as possible!

Law

…“As cool as possible”.

Sanji

Yes!

Law rolls his eyes looking unimpressed but the blonde continues.

Sanji

There's three of us, so we'll each take a turn playing judge on who gets from point A to point B the coolest way possible. When we reach our final destination, the one with the most points wins!

I’m talking flair–the badassery–even the underappreciated, underrated skills–the whole thing! It's the time to show off what you got and be creative!!!

There's about a million things Law wants to say about the silly game–how unnecessary it is and how many faults there are in the rules. Before he can say anything, the swordsman interrupts.

Zoro

Do I get to swing?

Sanji gives him a wink.

Sanji

To your heart’s content, baby.

Zoro

Let's do it.

Sanji

YES!

Law

Seriously, Zoro-ya?!

Zoro

It sounds more interesting than… “shambles” all day.

Uhm…no offense.

Law groans but waves his hand in dismissal.

Law

Do whatever you want.

Sanji squeals in excitement.

Sanji

That’s the whole point of it!

Zoro

So what’s the prize?

Sanji plays with his goatee thoughtfully. Then his expression darkens as his lips thin into a devilish smile.

Sanji

How about…a favour?

Zoro furrows his brow at that.

Law tips his head at the idea. He takes a step forward towards the blonde.

Law

Go on…

Sanji

Any time, anywhere in the world, no questions asked. The winner gains the favour from the other two contenders so that he may call on them at a time of his choosing–together or separately.

Zoro

Oh… Curls… I don't know…

The doctor unexpectedly chuckles, his tone just as dark as the blonde’s smile. He holds out a hand, which Sanji takes without hesitation. The swordsman looks between the two of them nervously.

Law

You’re on, Pirate King.

[vermillyons]

crocodile when you're in danger

aka you get saved but resent how he did it

aka what if i made a stinky bastard man suffer bc of love

--

crocodile x gender-neutral reader, heavy angst, crocodile being emotionally constipated 🚩🚩🚩, open ending

--

getting into a committed relationship with this man and winning his trust is an arduous process. but once you have him, you have him.

so, what would crocodile do to save you?

crocodile is the type to make a deal with the devil for your sake. being the few that have won his trust, the possibility of you dying is unnacceptable. he’d go mad with desperation to save you.

crocodile is known to work with cold-blooded and brutal efficiency. it’s different with you. with you, it’s erratic brutality fueled by desperation. the civil war he brought to alabasta would look like child’s play when your life is at stake.

he’d be selfish enough to sacrifice your loved ones so you’d live instead. you could hate him for it all you want but even if time turned back he’d still make the same choice.

knowing the consequences in his head and seeing it play out in front of him is something else entirely. he wasn’t prepared for the full force of your grief.

a part of him can’t help but feel bitter it’s better than guilt that this is what he gets for saving you. don’t you realize what you do to him? he’s become a wreck at even the thought of losing you.

rather than express any of this to you, crocodile seems like he’s only upset that you have the gall to question him. he doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to apologize and explain that it wasn’t a decision he made lightly. he can’t put it into words because that would mean sitting with his own fear and anxiety long enough to do so.

putting you under lock-and-key is as much about your safety as it is about making sure you don’t leave him. there’ll be enough time for you to eventually forgive him. even if it might be a pipe dream, the thought of you alive and hating him is far more tolerable than you dead.

it’s a question of whether he’ll eventually realize his mistake in caging you. it would mean actively trying to earn your forgiveness rather than futilely attempting to bury the past through hollow gestures. it would mean accepting the possibility of you never seeing him again and that you’re well within your rights to do so.

it’d be a terrifying gamble for him to take and one he doesn’t know if he’d be prepared to take. would he able to set aside his pride just for the chance of you back in his arms, willingly and wholly?

[cream-and-tea]

oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also "textless" versions of these, wahooo

[poobit]

i have many thoughts on how Mouthwashing handles the themes of abuse and the symbolism around it especially as a survivor ... im not gnna hold back so -

first of all i think since its clear the point Jimmy is dismissive of Anya´s personhood and his perception is warped towards what he does as a Captain rather than what he does as a man, it makes sense she doesnt get her own labyrinth or such , i cant argue around that because its realistic he´s so male focused he cant even bother to truly think about what he did to her, i would love it if Wrong Organ decides to do a side story vignette of her own perspective and view in the future if the game proves its successful enough for side content like that.

Assault is something usually not handled with subtlety in games, i think what struck me the most was how real the dialogue of her coping and suicidal ideations and how Curly responded to it felt , the dancing around the subject, the deflection, the "whats next" of the ever impending consequence of pregnancy, how Anya pleads for help from the person she trusts but nonetheless a man unequipped and too emotionally attached to the abuser to be able to confront him, its so real, Curly´s lack of initiative is something Jimmy fully takes advantage of the moment things dont go his way, he turns everyone against him even as a helpless body on a bed because he needed to be in control of the situation, thats what abusers do.

A more sensationalistic game would have easily played Anya´s helplessness and assault for shock for sure, because it would be easy, she is the archetypical victim trope, shes modeled in Wendy Torrance likeness from The Shining, shes meek and unsure of herself and Jimmy shoots her down from the very beginning to make her feel unqualified and cornered, but the furthest the games goes is making Jimmy terror towards the pregnancy and the baby as a boogeyman that crawls and tramples over him. No sights of bleeding legs or her crying or screaming and much less present objectification of her body (which is something that i always think the horror genre has such a struggle not grabbing onto, sexuality is mostly always played up in assault stories especially if the victim is an adult woman), she remains a fully clothed figure and maintains the agency to her own demise, away from Jimmy and beside Curly, which is tragic and obviously still a symptom of horror´s proclivity to back female characters into corners of self inflicted punishment, but the alternative would have been that sooner or later, Jimmy would have killed her.

Its clear to me that the game used Curly´s state as a way to put a barrier between Jimmy and Anya, we dont objectify Anya, but we objectify Curly, Anya doesnt just feel pained and unable to handle Curly´s medication because shes in a sensitive state, her comments about his noises and such draws a line between her trauma and her perception of things as Her fault, she cant handle hearing his struggles and cries trying to swallow a pill because it reminds her of her own helplessness, so she leaves the task to Jimmy, someone who has no qualms in forcing someone down, the emphasis of every treatment as a repetitive process and the sound design is all very poignant and for me, a great way to handle assault as a metaphor, Curly did not consent to being in this position, it is very much still Jimmy´s fault and the fact that Jimmy is basically keeping him alive against his will even to the last moment of the game says everything, Jimmy doesnt love Curly the same way he doesnt love Anya.

The horses are not lost on me, i think horses as animals are often seen as "viril" symbols, strong and often volatile, they can be often hard to mount but when one does the rider and animal are seen as this one all powerful entity, like centaurs, which also carry symbolism of assaulters mind you, so while maybe not intentional on the dev´s part i think it still points to the Horse as a symbol still important in the game, the only spoken audio lines of dialog come from the Pony Express mascot Polle itself, and they are the first to actually confront Jimmy´s self centered line of thought and over-focusing on Curly, if the Tulpar is akin to a beast of a burden then Jimmy beat the dead horse way long ago.

All in this to say that Mouthwashing was a really good experience and i really hope the dev team is interested on expanding a bit more on it because i trust their vision.

[sleepynoons]

alhaitham x afab!f!reader, nsfw, 18+, not beta read

cw: omegaverse (alpha!alhaitham + omega!reader), heat, knotting, massive massive MASSIVE breeding kink, impregnation kink, size kink, slight sadism/masochism (more masochism if anything), mentions of pain + hurt, marking + biting, fingering, squirting, unintentional edging (receiving), allusions to dubcon + objectification (but none of it actually), slight nipple play, implied marathon sex

notes: sighs,,, idk how i ended up convincing myself to write omegaverse,,, but i really had a lot of fun with this,,, anyway, i love being an alhaitham fucker, and i love it even more when he loses it and can't be his usual put-together self. lmk if i missed anything in the warnings.

edit: 700+ notes?? y’all :((( i’m v touched and also cracking up lol omegaverse ig checks out - but tyssssm for all the love!! reminders that requests are still open (pls read my rules), and i’d love to have moots/anons!!!!

edit x2: 1,000+ notes... y'all... this is a massive milestone for me to hit - thank you so much for all the love on this lil drabble!! there's no amount of words that can describe how grateful i am, truly.

“ALHAITHAM, FASTER!”

you’re whining, sobbing, desperately begging your lover. anything will do – he can even just lie back and let you bounce up and down on his cock. but you’re only in such a frenzied, lucid state because of your heat. alhaitham, on the other hand, is a few weeks out from his next rut, which means he is able to think about what’s rationally best for you.

you’re infuriated. you need more. you need him to mount onto you, pounding and thrusting into you until you’re screaming for him to stop, and even then, he’ll continue to push you over the edge over and over again until you’re a sticky, fucked out doll. the fire in your belly is burning so passionately, and while you would say something snarky or sarcastic to rile alhaitham up, you can barely carry a thought and can only dig your fingernails into his biceps to convey your impatience.

your lover grunts at the piercing sensation and, through gritted teeth, says, “you just started your heat. rushing through it will only hurt you and lengthen your recovery process.”

you groan at his response, overtly dissatisfied and restless. alhaitham’s response is… it’s just so typical of him. he’s detail-oriented, almost scientific in the way he takes care of you. this isn’t your first heat with him, and he’s learned from prior experiences how to ensure your safety and comfort. in fact, the two of you now follow a procedure to prepare for your heat that consists of: gathering all of your favorite snacks and drinks; washing and prepping all of the pillows, clothes, and blankets you’ll need for your nest; and most importantly, figuring out a polite way of telling kaveh that he’s getting “sexiled.”

but this is overkill, you scream in your head. in missionary, alhaitham is going at a steady pace, but what he doesn’t know and can’t feel is that he’s edging you. he’s fanning the flames of your arousal yet never helping you reach the peak. he’s stimulating you at your most sensitive spots and parts, but it’s not enough for your release. he’s torturing you, and he can’t even tell.

“alhaitham,” you cry out for the nth time. “please, please, please! i can’t take it anymore! i just - i need your cock! i need to cum! please, please, i beg you, i promise you i’ll be fine! alhaitham!”

you’re breaking down into tears. by instinct, your body releases more of your scent, and somewhere beyond your crying, your lover takes a deep inhale.

while alhaitham isn’t in his rut, that doesn’t mean he can’t lose control. he hopes you know that he’s doing his best for you, that he’s holding onto the last shreds of his willpower because, if otherwise, he doesn’t know what will become of you. he’s so much bigger, stronger, sturdier than you are, towering over you in both size and strength. he can be painfully forceful, and inflicting pain upon you is the last thing he wants to do.

but you’re sobbing uncontrollably. you’re defenseless yet pleading him to take you roughly, to break in your pussy with his heavy, leaking cock. you want him to use his force to placate your insatiable heat. you need him to overpower you.

he releases a long, shuddering sigh. he attempts to rationalize, consider the potential repercussions of giving in. but he soon realizes he can’t think. your addicting, heady scent, combined with the beautiful sounds of your moans and whimpers, are rendering his mind empty.

it’s pointless. he growls, “you asked for this.”

one second you’re weeping, and the next all of the air inside you is knocked out by a sudden, harsh thrust from alhaitham. he’s going so fast and hard now, cock head brushing against your womb while his balls and knot slap against your asshole. you feel your toes curl at the feeling of being split apart, and your mouth parts to voice salacious moans.

this is what you wanted. you feel your body relax. you just have to take it, take his fat cock bullying your cunt open, take his harsh bites and teething at your nipples, take his seed until you’re filled to the brim. in your mind, all you can think is, you’re his, you’re alhaitham’s, he wants you. the omega in you croons happily, and you’re every bit as delighted as well.

alhaitham grips onto your wrists tightly as he shoves himself into your tight, sticky walls over and over again. at one point, he flips you over, commanding you to raise your ass up higher. as he holds onto your hips, he watches your ass bounce and jiggle as he pounds into you, and he wants to lick down the beautiful curve of your back. you’re doing your best to stifle your screams because somehow, your lover is reaching even deeper, and the scraping of your breasts against the bedsheets is driving you mad.

then, you feel one of alhaitham’s hands reach down, brushing against the fat of your thighs. it’s inching dangerously close to your throbbing clit, and heat rushes up to your face.

“wait, alhaitham, no –“ 

your lover pinches your yearning bud, and you scream. wetness gushing everywhere, you’re squirting and creaming, white cum staining your lover’s cock and leaking out of your pussy. your eyes roll back, and you’ve lost all ability to control your body, which is absolutely shaking as alhaitham continue to rub and flick at your clit as he tries to squeeze his knot into your fluttering hole.

“oh, archons! alhaitham! stop! no, no, it’s too much! it can’t fit!”

alhaitham, still teasing and toying with your pussy, leans over and snarls into your ear, “you were just saying you wanted more. now you can’t take it?”

you’re wailing. you feel as if you’re being ripped apart at the seams. but the thought of alhaitham’s knot is just too delicious to pass on, so you don’t complain anymore. you just accept the waves of pain and pleasure that crash over you as alhaitham finally locks his knot inside you and bites down on your neck.

your lover groans loudly, lost in his delirium as well. after a few more shallow grinds, he reaches his own high, and you feel rope after rope of his cum fill you up. alhaitham’s cum is so warm and gooey and thick that you’re drooling and slobbering over the pillows at being filled up so thoroughly – impregnated – with it.

even as he’s still cumming, alhaitham bites on the shell of your ear and commands, “keep up, because i’m not stopping anytime soon.”

you can only whimper and fist the blankets even tighter at his command, bracing yourself for the next round.

[zelzelez]

spoke to i.s ex to ask if she had similar experiences with him and she was all in to say YES. HE IS BLOCKED. HE NEEDS TO STOP PUSHING AWAY HIS PAST BC HE’S CONSTANTLY PUSHING AWAY HIS FEELINGS WITH IT TOO. ITS NOT YOU.

[paperclipninja]

I'm gonna sound very old person yells at cloud but I don't care, I feel like I need to say this. We all (well most of us) know that messaging Neil with any headcanons/theories/wishes/hopes/dreams to do with the show is a no-go because it could potentially compromise the story he wants to tell or ends up telling. And yes, he is a grown up who chooses what to respond to etc and I think it's wonderful he engages with fans and answers a lot of lovely and interesting questions about his process, writing and journey etc.

However, there is another reason not to send theories and ideas about how the show should go to the show creator in the hope of a response: it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether a theory is correct, or a speculation may or may not play out. That is why fandom exists.

Online fandom is where we all come together to yell and cry and throw around weird-ass ideas and theories and look at art and read fanfic and unite in our love of characters and a show. A huge part of being in fandom, is the way fandom theories become like an understood little bit of fanon lore that some people attach to, others disregard. But it doesn't matter. And part of the fun of fandom, is when a new season or a new episode of the show comes out, you have this collective catalogue of ideas and theories and headcanons and you get to yell and scream, "omg it happened1" or "lol that that thing was ever talked about" or "thank god that theory didn't come to pass".

Wanting to know now (not that we ever will) and not wanting to wait until the next season to find out the answers diminishes the fandom experience. I cannot stress enough how much we are in the absolute peak of the fandom experience right now. The between seasons time is the ultimate time to be a part of a fandom (as I'm sure many people are well aware), knowing there's another season coming energises everyone to create and connect and speculate and it's glorious! I know it feels like it'll be like this forever, but it won't. Next season is the last and yes, there will be a flurry and uptick of all the energy and excitement once again, and I absolutely believe Good Omens fandom will live on and remain active and thrumming. But there won't be theories and what ifs and hunting for clues for the next season, and over time it will dwindle a little and plateau and some people will fall into other fandoms, and while it will probably bubble away, there won't be the anticipation that sits with us now.

My point is, fandom is where we get to throw around ideas and flail and be ridiculous and also serious sometimes, but it's all for us. For the fans. Showing Neil theories or getting in a flap about a particular speculation and asking if x, y, or z might happen isn't just about putting the creator in an awkward spot, it takes away what fandom is about. Just let this time be ours. If you haven't been in fandom before, enjoy it! Don't be in a hurry to seek definitive answers or know things either way.

It doesn't matter if any or none or all of the things that float around end up being correct or incorrect. Fandom isn't about being right. It's about being a part of a community and being able to share ideas and it's about it being FUN.

So TL;DR Stop sending Neil fan ideas because that is for fandom, not for the creator.

[changetyre]

Hold this Papa

SUMMARY: While facing symptoms of your most recent pregnancy Max is tasked with looking after your youngest daughter while on a meeting. Part of the Verstappen Family Verse

WARNINGS: Crack, fluffiness, pregnancy sickness

A/N: Happy Halloween! Enjoy.

"Max don't worry I can-" You were cut off by your wave of nausea forced to take deep breaths in order not to throw up right then and there. 

"Baby, stop it's fine. I can watch her, they'll understand." Max insisted. 

Today Max had an important Zoom meeting with his management team and other team bosses who had been making Max offers which he'd be a fool not to at least listen to. Lea was out with her uncle Lando who'd offered to take her for the day and you were going to stay with Lea and have a girl's day. 

That was until you woke up with the worst nausea of your pregnancy so far. You'd woken up immediately throwing up and had failed to keep much food down all morning. Max offered to cancel everything and take you to the hospital but you knew how important this meeting was and told him you could go after if it was still this bad. 

Max reluctantly accepted but he still knew you wouldn't be able to look after Ivy properly with the state you were in and he very much preferred if you could focus on trying to hydrate and keep some food down for now.

"Hmm I think it's getting better, I haven't thrown up that apple slice I had 10 minutes ago." You commented as the nausea somewhat passed. 

"That's good but I'm still taking Ivy." Max kissed your cheek before walking away needing to hurry for his meeting in 2 minutes. 

"Fine. But if she's too much trouble just send me a text and I'll come grab her." You hollered as he walked out. 

"Okay," Max yelled back before picking Ivy up from the living room where she had been playing and taking her inside his office which was still big enough for Ivy to remain entertained as he had brought in a few of her toys as well. "Okay, Ivy stay in here okay? Papa's going to be on a phone call so we have to be quiet but if you need something come to whisper to me okay." Max explained to his daughter. 

"Okay, papa." Ivy giggled not fully grasping the instructions but already too entertained with a toy she'd picked up from the floor. 

Max smiled kissing his daughter's head before walking over to his desk where he quickly connected to his Zoom call. 

"Morning Max, how's y/n doing?" Raymond, Max's manager who had been alerted of the possible disruptions asked. 

"Morning, uh, still feeling pretty poorly but she's putting a brave face on for me at the moment." Max answered polity. 

"Papa." Max heard the hushed voice of his daughter beside him looking down to see her handing him a Barbie doll.

"Thank you, Ivy." Max took it from her quickly muting himself as the meeting began. Ivy ran away happily. 

Max locked his focus into the meeting as soon as crucial information began to play out, taking a small notebook out he jotted down important points and questions he might have to discuss at the end so apart from a few glances to check his daughter wasn't in actual danger Max didn't fully process what his daughter was getting up to. 

"Papa hold this." Ivy ran back to Max handing him a wooden block which Max took and placed on his lap alongside the barbie he'd been previously given. 

"To be fully honest with you I care about the car, I need a good car and right now, dismissing the last few races, RedBull has given me a good consistent car, what are your guarantees?" Max asked. 

"Hold this papa." Ivy had once again run over to Max handing him a coloring book. Max took it without question looking down and noticing a variety of toys on his lap he had no recollection of receiving.

Looking back to the meeting he noticed Raymond struggling to keep a straight face as Ivy once again walked into the frame handing Max a tiara. "Put it on papa," Ivy whined when Max simply added it to the array of toys on his lap. 

"Shh okay Ivy." Max accepted not wanting to upset his daughter further putting the tiara on his head. 

"Looking good Max." Everyone collectively laughed in the meeting. 

"Just girl dad things." Max laughed with them. 

Luckily Ivy seemed to entertain herself with this for most of the meeting simply filling Max's lap with things as well as handing him things to wear but it also seemed to tire her out. Just as the meeting was wrapping up Ivy walked over to her dad once more. 

"Papa up." Ivy whined. 

Max happily picked up his daughter letting everything on his lap fall to the floor to set her down on his lap. "I'm almost done, Ivy." Max kissed his daughter's cheek as she wrapped her small arms around his neck resting her head on his chest. 

"Papa I miss mommy." Ivy sighed. 

"I know baby I miss her too, I'm almost done." Max rubbed his daughter's back soothingly. 

It didn't take much longer for the meeting to finally end but once it did Max looked down to see his daughter fast asleep in his arms.  

Walking back outside with Ivy in his arms he was relieved to find you in the kitchen having a proper meal which looked to be almost done. "How are you feeling my love?" Max asked you. 

"Aww my sweet baby." You first acknowledged your sleeping daughter giving her back a rub before answering Max. "Much better, I had a smoothie before this and managed to keep it all down." 

"That's great schatje." Max leaned down to kiss you. "Let me put Ivy in her bed then we can cuddle for a bit." 

"Sounds perfect." You smiled happily. "No more vomiting please." You spoke down to your bump jokingly. 

Despite the harder pregnancy, everything was perfect. 

[pureastrologywisdom]

𝔖𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔓𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰

Lilith aspecting Moon

This is a very powerful placement for women specifically. The moon, which is your emotions, connected to the unconscious self, habits, comfort and femininity is connected to the point in your chart that is powerful and dark, a part fuelled by pain, and all about transmutation. These woman often have a very intriguing essence about them. Strong and seductive. It's like you are playing with fire. She enjoys being a little off putting and knows exactly how to be enticing yet intimidating all in one.

Neptune/Venus/Pluto in the 3rd House

The third house is often overlooked when people are speaking on seduction and sex appeal in astrology. People are so focused on visual they miss a key point. Seduction includes all the senses. Someone being beautiful doesn't necessarily mean they are seductive. It's the way someone moves, speaks, the things they say and don't say, how they hold themselves along with present themselves. It's subtle.

This brings me to why the third house comes into play. It inductees how we communicate. As mentioned words can be very seductive. Having planets like Neptune and Venus will give someone a sweet and sensual demeanour when talking. Neptune is very receptive and often these people are incredible at being able to asses the needs of the person they are taking to, it's a very intuitive placement. Neptune is also all about fantasy. Playing into a role you project onto them.

Pluto in the third's seductive tactics are centred around power snd control. Manipulation if you will - not always in the worst sense. They are good at digging for information getting to the base of the persons psyche that they are speaking to. Once again it's about understanding the people around them. You can see how Neptune and Pluto have this in common but the way they use this is different.

Scorpio Rising

I feel like you guys know this one has to be mentioned. And I am sure I have written about this before. However I feel it's important to explain why this rising sign specifically holds such seductive energy. I often hear people talk about their eyes, which is very true. But it goes much deeper than just appearance. Scorpio naturally rules over the 8th house, a house that is very deep and dark. It's shrouded by mystery and taboo, along with being a sexually charged house. Now think about all of these themes being brought into the 1st house. Being at the forefront of someones being in not only the way they look, but they way they carry themselves and interact with the world around them. It's very provocative energy.

But there is more. Though people may assume that because of this scorpios may give off an overt sexual energy, its not quite as obvious one one may think. Whilst there is this air of sex appeal around them, this often doesn't come from being so open and bold about these things, but rather from holding a little something back. As we know scorpio is about the things below the surface, secrets, privacy. This creates a dynamic where people can sense this energy, however they must peel back the layers and investigate more to truly see what these people are like. This can create a push and pull, a little bit of an enigma. It piques the intrigue of people and encourages the chase.

Mercury quintile/Bi-quintile Mars, Pluto or Neptune & Lilith in some cases

Very similar to the previously mentioned third house, Mercury rules over communication, along wit the way we think and process things. Having a quintile or Bi-quintile aspecting mercury it shows us that someone has a particular skill around communication. I have already explained why having Pluto and Neptune connected to areas of your chart dealing with communication creates seduction.

I also included Mars, as Mars is a planet of strategy. Often working towards a goal these people like to win, and are very good at 'winning people over' in conversation. Mars is more of a dominant planet so domination is a tactic often used by these people. Sometimes being commanded is sexy. These people speak strongly which is sexy.

The reason why I put Lilith as a case by case aspect is because as we know, Lilith often states as a place of wounding in a natal chart. It's only after someone has healed those wounds and understood the source of power that that area of their chart is with Lilith sitting there that they can truly start to embody and experience this. Though I will say having Lilith in a quintile or Bi-quintile is often easier. When developed Lilith is a very untamed energy, a little wild and unpredictable. Two traits that are extremely enticing.

Thank you all for reading my loves,

Pureastrowisdom x

Also a quick notice - I have a TikTok account under the name of

.plutonian.priestess

I would love if you would go and follow me on there too where I can post more image based content and eventually go into video style content too.

I am thinking of putting a face to my name and my account as I want you guys to see the person behind my work

[lucaslovescats]

Thank you so much for writing Joost fics 💙

Could I request a smut fic where Joost and reader are playing video games in his lap, and then things escalate from there

Thank you 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Mario Kart - Joost Klein x fem!reader smut

Summary: An innocent Mario kart match quickly turns interesting as Joost tries to distract you from the race

Extra note: thank you so much for the request love, however I am incapable of writing smut without adding a bit of fluff, forgive me.

Tw: Smut(?) (let me know if I need to add anything)

Word count: 1115 (more or less)

“Fuck you!” Joost called out, albeit with no venom and in between little giggles after your little elbow shove had made him drop his remote controller, evidently giving you a few seconds of advantage. You laughed a bit, but still kept your focus on the most intense Mario Kart race of your life. Neither of you were the biggest Mario Kart fans, however the one which loses this race has to make dinner and getting up right now seemed like the biggest inconvenience in the world.

It was fun whenever you did this, trying to beat each other despite the fact that you both knew the chances of just settling for takeout were getting higher by the second. Joost surprisingly still hasn't caught up with you, almost certainly securing your win. You were so focused on the race playing on the screen that you didn't feel Joost straightening his back behind you, head slowly inching closer and closer to your neck. You flinched slightly at the feeling of his teeth going straight for your neck, biting and sucking your sensitive spot, not even giving you time to process anything before you almost dropped your controller. Worst part is that through all of this, he didn't peel his eyes away from the screen, actually using your little slip up to his advantage

“Joost, that's not fair! That's cheating” You said, trying to sound as leveled as possible, knowing that if he knew how affected you were that would just encourage him further.

He didn't need any sound from you to know you were affected by his assault on your neck, your squirming and the little bead of sweat falling from you forehead said it all “You were cheating too, when you hit me” Joost retorted back, whispered in your ear, only stopping to get his words across and then going back to sucking on your neck.

As you opened your mouth, Joost decided to bite particularly hard, causing a loud gasp to be heard across the room. You felt him smirk against your neck before moving to attack somewhere else. You finally dropped your controller, but the race had left your mind long ago, now only being able to focus on the others lips. His hand left his own controller too, snaking over to the front part of your torso, tugging slightly on your shirt “Can I take this off?” He asked, you nodded before helping him to remove the top, throwing it somewhere you both weren't paying attention too. He started moving both of your positions, you blindly moved with him, leaving you lying underneath him, on top of the couch. His shirt was quickly thrown too, and you pulled him into a kiss before you could even process what you were doing.

The kiss, for what you were doing, was surprisingly tender. Not as hungry as the ones you usually had in moments like these, but not innocent either. Only ever pulling away for a few seconds to catch your breath.

“Can I take this off?” He asks in one of the few intermissions between your kisses, fingers hocking on the waistline of your pants. You nodded, desperately wanting him to get going with it. He pulled down our pants and underwear in one swift movement, not bothering to fully take it off before moving himself in between your legs, quickly continuing with your previous makeout session. Eventually, his lips left your own, and started slowly to move downwards, biting and sucking mostly gentle marks into your skin but occasionally leaving a darker mark, as if wanting it to stay longer. Little moans escaped your mouth, but you were biting you lip making sure nothing too embarrassing came out. After what felt like hours of torture to you, he finally reached your lower abdomen leaving a gentle kiss before traveling down to your pussy, before gently blowing on it. You let out a louder moan at the feeling of cold air against your wet folds. “You´re so wet, huh?” Joost says, smiling before leaning in to kiss them.

A little broken mixture of a gasp and moan escaped your mouth, the loudest of the night. Your hands reached his hair, about to shove him closer for him to just hurry but he moved away before you could reach him. “Not tonight”

You could hear him pulling down his own pants and boxers in a hurry, getting his dick out and pumping his dick a few times before opening a condom and quickly rolling on a condom. He lined himself up with your pussy, extending his hand so you could hold it, which you quickly accepted as he slowly sank in. The first few moments were always the most difficult for you, no matter how many times you did this you never seemed to get used to his size, much less when he first entered you, Joost knew this, and the hand holding was something that he had started and had just become the usual, a simple gesture that helped so much. You squeezed his hand tighter and tighter, making sure not to hurt him, until he bottomed down. You let out a little gasp of relief, waiting a few seconds for your body to get ready so you could tell the other to continue.

He leaned down and planted a tiny kiss on your forehead, before whispering “Don't worry, take all the time you need, there is no rush” emphasizing his statement with a kiss on your cheek and then leaving one on your mouth for a good measure. A peck, something not longer than a few seconds but it managed to convey so much, so much trust, love, reassurance. You let out another exhale before speaking up “You can move, please, move”

He started moving slowly, making sure not to hurt you and staring intently at your face to see if he could see any signs of discomfort or hurt in your face, but only watching your face scrunch up into pleasure as you let out more and more moans as his pace quickened. His thrust were hitting all the right spots, some particularly harder or deeper than other sending chills down your spine, running your mind completely, unable to formulate sentences

“Ah fuck, you feel so good, soo good” Joost too was a mess, babeling something above you, but still more composed and aware than you were. His free hand, the one that wasn't holding yours, ending up in your pussy. He slowly started rubbing the areas around your clit, not focusing on it but not avoiding it either, teasing you a bit. You weren't even sure when you had started swearing or begging but you were. In your desperate state you could still tell you were mostly muttering nonsense, but Joost seemed to get the message as he finally started rubbing your clit just like you liked it, not too fast but not too slow, not too hard but not too soft.

It didn't take you long to cum after, clenching tightly as the shocks of your orgasm rolled through your body, leaving your legs trembling slightly. It didn’t take long before Joost finished too, coming with a grunt and collapsing on top of you, having already been tired before you even started. His face nuzzled into your neck, wrapping one arm around whatever he could have you and the other still holding tightly onto your hand.

“I love you” he whispered in your neck

“I love you too”

[making-you-in-spore]

pinned post

TRANS RIGHTS!! TERFS GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG!!!!!!!

who are you?

i'm just a guy who likes spore [2008]

why do this?

i just really like spore and making creatures in spore. it helps me practice my creature creation abilities.

can you make my oc in spore?

as of right now i do not take requests. i generally find characters and creatures i want to make by them appearing on my dashboard. refer to the Request Beast.

what is in your icon?

captain thunderhide, my main spore space stage captain.

what is peeling?

peeling is when i remove all detail parts from a creature and show the bare sculpt underneath - anything that is not eyes, mouth, hands, feet, or limbs will be removed. it is a tradition around these parts

what are "original spores"?

original spores are spore creations that aren't based on existing media - ocs, copyrighted characters, or otherwise. usually, they're just making things to make them in spore, or are based on simple prompts such as "a plate of spaghetti" or "a penis".

do you use mods?

i exclusively play this game with mods.

can i download the creatures you make?

only if the original creator of the design is okay with it and requests a png. please note that in order to successfully download the creatures, you will need to download every mod used to create them.

i will not always be able to say what mods i use to make something, so it's a gamble if you don't have all of the ones i use.

how do i mod spore/do advanced creature creation like you?

darkedgetv's FAQ is a very good resource to begin. i started there, and it's where i recommend you to start if you're interested in spore modding. it also contains many other mods i have not listed under the cut.

as much as i disagree with the process of using a discord server to contain vital information and resources, the davoonline spore modding community discord is also a good source of resources and mods that even i do not use.

what editor mods do you use?

a lot, so they'll be under the cut.

not mods, but highly recommended for enhanced playing experience

4GB patch - Tutorial - patches spore [and other 32bit programs] to be able to use 4gb of RAM. recommended if playing a highly modded copy, and makes the game more stable.

Reshade & ReSpore - post-processing injector & shader that alters the appearance of spore, giving it more detailed shading and vibrant colors. i use this for gameplay and screenshots. runs on GPU power, so excellent if you have a strong graphics card

HD graphics fix - this doesn't actually seem to work for my copy, but it alters the textures of base spore to be more high-quality.

mods that are absolute must-haves

these mods are ones that i use in almost every creation, and add a lot of QoL to the editors. if i forget a mod in a creature png i post, it will be one of these.

Dark injection - THE spore mod. it's likely a lot of other mods you'll download will mesh well with dark injection. you can turn off whatever you don't want to use through the installer.

Universal Property Enhancer - a library mod that many other mods require

The Smoother - a useful tool for building muscles and smoothing out your creatures' bodies

Enhanced Color Picker - a requirement for super detailed creations, enables hexcode color picking and color wheel selection beyond normal limits of spore

[UPE] Infinite Part Scaling - allows scaling of parts near-infinitely, beyond the limits of the original game

Project Skyncraft - adds new creature skinpaints

Unshackled - adds nodes and limbs for creating custom wings, heads, hands, etc. a little bit unstable, i mostly use this for wings.

Spore Stacker - allows stacking of any part

Subtle Rotations - reduces part rotation snapping

Advanced CE - adds building editor manipulators to the creature editor

Every Part Costs Nothing - self explanatory

Rotate Anything - lets you rotate anything, including feet and hands

Advanced Creature Paint - allows for individual coloring of parts on a creature, like in the building and vehicle editors

Ambient Occlusion Disabler - removes baked-on shadows for creatures

Delta Paints - adds new skinpaints

Valla's Skinpaint Switcheroo - adds duplicates of all vanilla, C&C, and GA creature coat and detail skinpaints into their opposite category

test drive related mods

these mods are not required to download the creatures i post, but are recommended for the test drive.

No More Creature Editor Animations - turns off the animations that play when you add eyes, mouth, feet/hands, etc

Sevan's TF2 editor animations - adds multiple animations from tf2 into the creature test drive.

Mx3's Dance Animations - adds a multitude of dance animations into the creature test drive.

Tenebris's Creature Test Drive Animations - adds many animations from within the game to the creature test drive.

EditorBG - adds extra editor backgrounds

Ramone Kemono's MMD Drag Ball - high-effort dance mod complete with special effects and a reverse engineered camera system

part mods

these mods add parts to the editors.

DroneParts 2017 - adds many mechanical and polygonal parts useful for machine creatures, i like to use it for building clothes and markings.

New Drone Parts - a sequel to droneparts 2017, compatible with the old version. install both at the same time if you want to be able to use creatures from the old droneparts mod.

Himeric Engine - adds horror-themed parts to the creature editor.

Spore Resurrection Next Steps - adds a few parts to the creature editor and several new textures to the building and vehicle editors.

Dinosaur Parts - adds parts based on dinosaurs and other animals. mostly heads.

Strange And Beautiful - a now-discontinued, reuploaded mod that adds unusual and unique parts to the creature editor

Bionicle parts - adds a few bionicle pieces to the creature editor

Little Box Of Horrors - adds many parts with an overall horror theme. some are animated.

Pandora's Toolbox [1.0] - adds a multitude of basic shapes and polygons to build with

Replicant - adds non-textured animating parts and non-animating parts in a separate tab. good for if you want to use hands, limbs, etc without them animating or adding stats

Armoured And Dangerous - adds a few high detail mechanical looking parts.

Delimbiter - increases the amount you can scale limb parts, and allows for more crazy movements of certain limb parts

Valla's Vanilla Style Parts - adds several parts which mimic the vanilla style

Wordsmith 2.1 - adds letters to the creature, building, and vehicle editors

Kaiju parts - adds several parts based on popular kaiju

Organic Help - adds many membrane pieces to the creature editor, for creating wing webbing among other things

Project: Mad Mannequins - adds many human body based parts. and a horse for some reason

A Mouth For All Seasons - adds alternate versions of all vanilla mouths [and all unused cell mouths] with alternate diets

Valla's Captain Badges - adds all space badge models into the captain outfitter and creature editor

Rock On! - adds rock props from spore into the building and creature editors

[ckret2]

The second dimension has burned up, almost(?) everyone is dead, the ones that aren't dead wish they were, and this funny little yellow triangle the Axolotl met one time is some kind of god ghost party host tyrant.

Wanna make it even worse?? I know you do. Let's make it so much worse.

Here, have a fic. Last week's Part 1 is about Bill doing some kind of cosmic horror shit to the Axolotl; part 2 here is about the Axolotl trying to process the most horrifying thing he's ever seen while a bunch of the most annoying gods you've ever seen argue about building inspections and vandalism.

####

When the Axolotl tumbled out of the bloated pocket of reality where Dimension Zero's singularity was supposed to be, for a moment he thought he'd gotten turned around and flown straight back in, because here again was the yellow triangle's nightmarish party: the geometric rainbow of corpses and undead puppeted into dancing for their "magister," the flashing strobe lights, the hissing whispery white noise like the echoes of a Big Bang had gained sentience and started passing secrets to each other, the cacophonous music that seemed to be every song playing at once.

He had to shake his head to clear it and make sense of what he was seeing. No corpses, no dancing: all he was seeing was all the gods who'd gathered together outside the incinerated two dimensional wall to help deal with the criss, at least triple what there had been before he'd entered what-wasn't-Dimension-Zero. The flashing lights were the cameras and broadcasting equipment of reporters, cordoned off from the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force's main center of operations but still crowding as close as possible to see what the firefighters and ATTF were doing. The whispers were the buzz of activity among the emergency response workers.

And the music was only playing in his own head.

A few gods glanced at him as he emerged from the immense roiling miasma that had replaced Dimension Zero, but they had their own business to deal with and he wasn't part of it, so he was quickly ignored. He wouldn't know what to say if anyone had spoken to him. It was hard to think of anything but the dancing.

He should tell someone what he'd seen. Numbly, he looked around for the storm cloud with the ATTF he'd spoken to earlier, but couldn't pick it out from the crowd.

There was one "face" in the crowd he distantly recognized: a harried-looking vending machine filled with planets and moons—VENDOR, the Axolotl was pretty sure. Some politician. THEY were irritably shifting THEIR worlds back and forth on THEIR spiral racks as THEY spoke to one of the ATTF's many apocalypse cops; THEY'd already vended five planets that the apoc cop had cradled in their tentacles. As the Axolotl swam past the duo in search of the cloud, he heard VENDOR snapping, "—I'll have you know elections are coming up again. The last thing I need is Municipalitron suggesting this lackluster response to a gaping hole into Dimension Zero is MY fault! By the time those rubbernecking reporters make it around your flimsy barrier, I want to be able to report you've cleaned up this mess—" Was the incinerated Dimension 2 Delta even in THEIR district?

He saw THEM on the news from time to time at cosmic crises like this, providing temporary planets for refugees until they could be moved to other worlds (or, in dire enough circumstances—other dimensions); that must be what THEY were here for now. It tended to get THEM a lot of good press. The Axolotl didn't know how much of it was deserved.

To the Axolotl's further distaste, there were also cops here now—not the apoc cops, they were fine, but cop-cops: he saw one crablike being with red and blue mushrooms growing out from where his eyes used to be, and two interlocked fiery rings with a hundred distrustful eyes. They were talking to the hapless furred serpent the Axolotl had seen before he'd gone in to investigate Dimension Zero, the one who'd called in the emergency. She didn't look at all comfortable with whatever they were asking. Why the hell did a spontaneously combusting universe call for the police? Who did they think they were going to arrest? Who did they think they could blame for the fire? The fire itself?

Unless they thought it was arson?

There was the storm cloud: it was talking to another apoc cop, a floating flock of sheep with an ATTF badge pinned in their rain-soaked wool. The Axolotl headed their direction—but paused at the sight of the triangle's sun.

Before Dimension 2 Delta had burned, the little triangle's two-dimensional home planet had been illuminated by a sun shining down on it from the third dimension—a sun no one but the triangle could see. With 2Δ gone, the third dimension was slowly falling into Dimension Zero's nauseating threshold; and in the time the Axolotl had been talking to the triangle, his sun had fallen halfway toward the threshold.

He carefully picked it up and nudged it a safe distance back, then shook the sting of heat out of his paws. 

Someone said, "Hold on, you're the one who defaced the Department of Multiversal Vehicles' office!"

The Axolotl turned to look. VENDOR had apparently ganged up with the cops against the serpent. He groaned under his breath.

Looking between the trio with panic in her eyes and clutching her spray paint can anxiously to her underbelly, the serpent was saying, "Okay, okay, maybe I was out here to do a little graffiti—"

The Axolotl winced and muttered, "Oh, don't voluntarily confess anything." The cloud could wait. He hurried in their direction.

"—but I hadn't actually started anything when the dimension caught on fire! I mean—all right maybe I'd done a couple of tags, but only in vacuum, nowhere near any stars! And the fire started way off from where I was—"

"That sounds likely," VENDOR said.

"You've already got a rap sheet for vandalism," the crablike cop said. "Decided to try out arson—?"

The tentacled apoc cop who'd been speaking to VENDOR earlier cut into the conversation. "Lay off, we've already checked her out. The combustible material in a can of spray paint would only take out a solar system at most. Do you have any idea, any idea, just how much power it takes to burn a whole dimension?"

The dual fiery rings wheeled aggressively in front of the apoc cop. "You let us do our job, calamari. Just focus on doing your own."

"Don't mind if I do," the Axolotl said. He put himself between the accused criminal and the gods of punishment, gills flared and curled forward. "I believe this serpent was a witness to the fire. Is she under arrest?" (He could feel some of the mental numbness wearing off, the horror loosen its grip on his heart as he focused on doing his job.)

VENDOR took one look at him and scoffed. "Oh, you. I know who you are," THEY said. "I suppose this is one of your pro bono clients." All one hundred and two of the cops' eyes immediately snapped to the Axolotl.

Why did everyone think that today? "No," the Axolotl said exasperatedly, "she's not. But I do know her rights. Including her right not to answer any of your questions." (The serpent's jaw snapped shut.) "Do you?"

The cops both bristled. VENDOR drew THEMSELF up to THEIR full height (which was the same height THEY'd already been, a metal brick being rather inflexible like that) and prepared to retort—but THEIR internal camera caught on something just to the Axolotl's side. "Oh, no. Not her."

The Axolotl turned. Hovering in the void behind them, so small and translucent she'd be unnoticeable if not for the faint pinkish glow she gave off, was an astrally-projected mortal soul: a four-armed salamander-like woman with a robe and a string of beads wrapped around one wrist. She opened her eyes, blinking up at the Axolotl.

"Oracle," the Axolotl said, half greeting, half a surprised query. The Oracle bowed her head to him.

To the mortals she served, the Oracle was a priestess who received messages from a god: prophecies to help her people understand the divine and navigate the future. To the beings powerful enough to get called gods, the Oracle was essentially one in a long line of intern news bloggers that the Axolotl occasionally had coffee with to discuss local politics and court cases. His Oracles were almost always low-level mortal criminals who had gotten themselves involved in enough trouble to attract gods' attention, but whom he'd taken under his fin to help get out of that life before they graduated to crimes against reality. The Axolotl thought it was important to offer mortals help before they crossed a line they could never uncross, and important to keep an open conduit of information between higher and lower planes. He thought the people who had the power to shape reality owed transparency to the people living in the realities they shaped.

Not everyone agreed. 

"You smuggled your reporter past the barricade," VENDOR said accusatorially. (The cops visibly flinched at the word "reporter," the crablike one nervously clacking his claws and the ringed one's many eyes widening.)

"No, I had no idea she was coming." Which was unusual. Usually, the Axolotl visited the Oracle in her sleep to catch her up on his day's work and how it might affect mortal affairs; it wasn't often the Oracle sought him out first.

"Well, I'm not making a statement." VENDOR abruptly turned THEIR back to the Axolotl and his Oracle. "If anyone asks, no comment. I'm not commenting on the current incident." The cops also took the opportunity to quietly slink off. The Axolotl watched them go, making sure they didn't find someone new to bully as they left.

The Oracle shot VENDOR and the cops a puzzled look. The Axolotl said, "Don't worry about THEM. Why are you here?"

"Our seers have had premonitions. Could you enlighten us on their meaning?" the Oracle asked.

"Of course. What did they see?"

"They've received visions of an explosion in the... sky..." She trailed off, staring in wonder at the gap into Dimension Zero behind the incinerated wall. "Is...��that the explosion?"

Before the Axolotl could answer, the storm cloud he'd been looking for swept past to loom over her. She flinched as her view of her god was suddenly blocked by a torrential thunderstorm, and flinched again as a sunbeam pierced the clouds to shine directly upon her and a serious voice boomed down from the tempestuous heavens: "Your people witnessed it?"

"There you are," the Axolotl said. "I was looking for you—"

The cloud pointed at him with a finger of lightning. "I'll get your statement second. Mortal's first. They don't last as long." (The Axolotl didn't think the Oracle was going to die of old age in the time it would take him to explain what he'd seen in Dimension Zero, but he didn't argue.) It said to the tentacled god, "Get those planets out to the flat worlders. The flock's already out there."

"On it." They tightened their tentacles around the worlds VENDOR had already passed over, and quickly scuttled off toward the line of blue light on the interdimensional horizon.

The storm asked the Oracle, "Can you describe what happened?"

"Uh..." She looked around nervously, trying to find the source of the voice, not realizing it came from the storm itself. "That's... what I came here to find out."

The Axolotl slipped his tail over her as an umbrella. (He needed the water, anyway; he'd been too close to too many fires today.) "Just tell it what your seers saw, like you were telling me. You may be able to help us."

"Help how?"

"None of us directly witnessed the 'explosion' your seers did."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "How do the gods not witness something?"

The Axolotl hesitated. "Even gods' eyes aren't all-seeing." He decided he didn't want the first thing he told his Oracle about the situation to be that all the gods that could have directly witnessed the "explosion" had been killed by it.

As the Oracle spoke, the storm cloud took notes in a damp notepad it kept steady with a current of air, burning the information onto the pages with a thread of lightning that meandered across the page like a Tesla coil. VENDOR, who'd backed out of "interviewing" range but not out of hearing range, partially turned to listen to her statement. (And while the other gods were distracted, the furred serpent quietly slunk off, trying to hide her spray paint as she did; the Axolotl didn't call attention to her. If the storm needed anything else from her, no doubt it had already gotten her contact info. Better that she go before the cops circled back to harass her some more.)

The Oracle said that her people's seers had seen a whole patch of the sky burning bright blue and collapsing together, the edges going black and the center growing impossibly bright, until everything sank into the center—and then went dark. Only once it was dark could they see what the light had been concealing: behind the collapsed patch of sky, there was a sea of seething colors. (The assembled group tried not to stare too obviously at the multicolored miasma that used to be Dimension Zero.) One seer had gone blind staring straight into the light, trying to discover anything about its nature.

The cloud asked, "And did she see anything important?"

The Oracle said hesitantly, as though not sure whether this detail mattered: "She said the light was... triangular."

A chill settled over the Axolotl. 

The cloud stopped, perplexed. "Huh." And then it dutifully burned that information down as well.

(Maybe it was nothing; triangles were very common symbols, lots of phenomena naturally formed triangles. Or maybe what she'd seen was whatever the triangle had done to try to save his people. Or maybe, maybe....)

While the cloud was focused on taking down its notes, the Oracle dragged her eyes from the tumbling colors of Dimension Zero and turned to the Axolotl. "We're worried about what these visions mean." She switched from interviewee to interviewer, all journalistic professionalism. "What did they see? What was this explosion?"

The Axolotl focused on the question to push the triangle from his mind. His eyes began to glow, as he recited:

"The multiverse is layered planes,

Stacked to bear existence's strains.

1D pillars, 2D walls,

3D rooms in 4D halls;

On a 0D foundation:

That's reality's construction. 

One wall falls into the basement,

It can shake the whole apartment.

But other walls can still load-bear

Until the gods can make repairs."

"Okay... Thank you. And—our plane is 3D?"

"That's right."

The Oracle took notes of her own: one of her four hands spun in loose loops, like an absent-minded conductor. In her physical body, she'd be holding a marker in a trance, copying down the prophecy the Axolotl had given her. No doubt it would be in the mortal papers on her world by tomorrow. The Axolotl thought it was better that the mortals know there was something wrong but that the people who had the power to do something about it were on the job, rather than just worry without answers. (Again, he was sometimes in the minority opinion. VENDOR was managing to give him the stink eye without a face.) "Is the multiverse actually structured like an apartment complex?"

"No," the Axolotl said. "It's a helpful visual metaphor." And it had rhymed with basement.

"But... this is something you can fix?"

"It is. There are gods of space and doomsday already here working to stabilize the foundation and repair the fallen wall." (VENDOR's lights flickered a bit brighter at the positive acknowledgment to the press.)

"Gods of doomsday?" She gave him an alarmed look.

"It's a misleading title. The ones here work to prevent accidental apocalypses."

"You're underselling the severity of the issue," the storm cloud muttered, not looking up from its notes. "This isn't your run-of-the-mill cosmic repair job. A second dimension's fully collapsed into the zeroth dimension. That's a plane packed into a point. That shouldn't be possible. It's destabilized everything built on top of the zeroth dimension—which means the entire multiverse." (VENDOR tried to shush it. It didn't acknowledge THEM.) "Plus, this fire is kicking our collective butts. One- and two-dimensional gods are getting incinerated, not even afterlives and underworlds are escaping the fire, reality itself is at risk of collapsing, we still don't know what's doing it—"

VENDOR let out a beep that was as loud as a car alarm. "Is there any reason the mortals need to know that!"

"Ehh... not that I can think of." The cloud glanced up from its notes. "They're powerless to do anything about it. It'd just make them worry about something that's out of their h..." Its roving sunbeams caught on the Oracle, still diligently taking notes on this out-of-control fire. "Oh."

Quietly, the Oracle asked, "You're sure the multiverse will be fine? If this fire even kills gods..."

The Axolotl paused. "I was more sure a second ago."

"It'll stand," the storm cloud said grimly, "but if we can't stop the fires, not for long. We've called out every god we can to help, but..."

"It should stand," VENDOR said quickly. "I'm sure the other walls are fine—I've personally seen to it that we're rigorous about maintaining our dimensions' structural integrity."

The cloud's sunbeam aimed ruefully at the missing wall. "Good work," it muttered.

VENDOR rounded angrily on it, "Well all the preventative cosmic inspections in the multiverse are useless if the inspectors didn't do their job right! Which they clearly didn't!"

The cloud raised a wall of fog defensively.

VENDOR paced in an angry figure 8 as THEY fumed, "It's incompetence all around! I'll bet anything it was electricians who miswired the laws of electromagnetism and shorted them out, or—or something! A properly constructed load-bearing wall imploding, much less dumping into the center of reality, just doesn't happen! And nobody noticed the danger?"

"We can't rule out the possibility of terrorism yet," the cloud said. 

 VENDOR rounded on the cloud to demand, "What terrorist would risk destroying the multiverse?!"

Angry lightning danced around its tornado. "How should I freaking know! A stupid one?!"

"Hah! That's all you've got?! The dimensions might have been burned by a stupid terrorist?" THEY turned on the Oracle. "Do not print that!"

Her hand froze mid-loop.

Thunder rumbled in the storm cloud. "Look, apocalypse Origin & Cause is still investigating, and the cosmic engineering inspector isn't here yet. If you'd give us five nanoseconds to do our jobs—!"

"What do you mean, isn't here yet! What's taking them so long?"

"I just put in the call—"

"That's no excuse, they ought to have been here before you called! Do engineers have time tapes or not!" VENDOR let out several irritated beeps as THEIR internal motors ground in irritation. "Probably dragging their heels because they didn't do their job properly before the dimension fell! Oh, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." THEY charged off, still muttering, "I'll have the heads of the last inspector and the lazy subcontractors who didn't build this dimension up to code! If this does anything to jeopardize my reelection— You there, police!" (The crab cop, who'd attempted to make himself useful by eyeing the reporters still outside the cordon menacingly, started at being directly addressed again.) "I need your assistance! I need someone to hold up a phone for me."

The Axolotl gave THEM a wide berth as THEY passed. Even as a god who almost exclusively dealt with the dead, this level of devastation left the Axolotl stunned with horror. But VENDOR's biggest concern wasn't the loss of life? Nor the threat to public safety posed by the exposed and mutated Dimension Zero? It was a stupid election?

He made a mental note to look into Municipalitron's policies before the next election.

Quietly, the Oracle asked, "Are you safe here? If there's a fire that can even kill gods..."

When the storm had told the Axolotl about 2Δ's fire, it had said not even gods and ghosts made it out— The Axolotl's frills perked up. "Right, I came back here to tell it— Er, yes, I think I'm safe—but I need to tell—" He turned to the storm cloud, "I haven't told you what I saw yet!"

"Oh, right—I meant to congratulate you on coming back alive." It flipped to a new page in its notepad. "Congrats."

"You said that everyone in 2Δ died," the Axolotl said.

"They did. I can guarantee it." It grew its tornado to pantomime an expanding ring: "The readings Origin & Cause have gotten so far indicate that an enormous gravitational wave from the spontaneous combustion event's epicenter tore the universe apart. Imagine gluing a bunch of corn chips to a tablecloth, pulling the tablecloth tight from both sides, and dragging the tablecloth straight down off one end of the table. It'd shatter all the chips as they passed over the table's edge. Destroyed everyone and everything in that universe, on every plane. Landscape, mindscape, dreamscape..."

"Well," the Axolotl said, with the edge of triumph he got whenever he figured out how to rip a prosecutor's witness in half, "I found survivors. So how's that possible?"

He expected surprise. Instead, the cloud bobbed up and down in recognition, as though the Axolotl were confirming something it already knew. 

On the other hand, from half a solar system away, VENDOR shouted indignantly, "I beg your pardon?!" THEY leaned away from the phone the cop was holding for THEM. "How many?" THEY began rotating through THEIR internal selection of planets.

"Two or three million," the Axolotl called back.

VENDOR huffed irritably and switched to looking through their collection of much smaller, rockier astronomical bodies. "Hardly worth a moon, much less a planet," THEY muttered. "From Dimension 2 Delta, I assume."

"No," the storm cloud said. "Everyone in 2Δ is dead. He must've found the poor suckers getting dragged down from the other dimensions."

The Axolotl stared at it. "Dragged down from what?"

Before the cloud could answer, the flock of sheep it had been speaking to earlier called, "Boss?" They had clearly just come from the direction of the bright blue line on the horizon—and their fleeces was now stained with soot. "We're losing refugees even faster in Dimension 2 Epsilon, what's the new plan?" Dimension 2 Epsilon?

The Axolotl felt a chill wind blow off the storm cloud; but its voice was just as hard as ever as it said, "I'll check it out myself." Its sunbeam pointed toward the Axolotl. "Maybe you oughta come along, I can explain it on the way." it said. "Just you." And the beam drifted down to highlight the Oracle.

"Yes, I understand."

Its bright gaze turned toward the apoc flock. "Hold down the fort until we get back."

"Got it, boss."

The Axolotl turned to the Oracle and said quietly, "You should wake up. I'll contact you with more when I can."

As strongly as he believed the mortals ought to be privy to whatever knowledge the gods had about the crisis, he didn't think traumatizing his Oracle wold benefit anyone.

####

Apparently, the Axolotl had only been told about half the situation. As they traveled along where Dimension 2 Delta used to be, the storm cloud caught him up on the rest. It had been telling the truth about everything in 2Δ being destroyed. It had simply burned too fast and too thoroughly, and it wasn't until the flames reached the edges of the universe and looped back to eat themselves that the inferno began to slow down.

Slow down... but not stop.

Why hadn't the Axolotl realized sooner? Why would there be so many firefighters on the scene, if the fire had gone out before the first ever arrived? What was the distant blue line of light he'd followed until he found the ATTF's center of operations, if not the light of still-burning stars? Why would VENDOR have come to provide new worlds for refugees, if everyone had been so sure 2Δ didn't have any refugees?

When the flames had reached the edge of 2Δ, they'd effortlessly incinerated the first dimensions bordering its edges, like a flame consuming a flash string in a magic trick, and moved straight across to the next second dimensions.

"Dimensions 2 Delta, 1 Gamma-Delta, and 1 Delta-Epsilon were completely incinerated before anyone arrived on the scene," the cloud said. "We lost 1 Alpha-Delta and 1 Delta-Zeta after we got here—it's a miracle the fire didn't cross from 2 Delta over 1 Alpha-Delta into 2 Alpha. 2 Gamma's over ninety percent gone; at this point we're trying to detach it from the closest first dimensions and hoping the flames will stop at its borders. And we're just trying to rescue who we can from 2 Epsilon and 2 Zeta, because every time we start to get the fire under control, it restarts itself."

The Axolotl felt sick. Five dimensions had been destroyed? Three more dimensions were still burning—one on the verge of being lost?

"Some of your survivors must've been dragged down into Dimension Zero," it went on. "Or into the miasma around it. I guess you must not have run into Zero itself in there, or else you wouldn't be here to tell us about it."

"I don't think Dimension Zero is in that miasma; I think the miasma is Dimension Zero. It had some properties of a spaciotemporal singularity... except it's... big. Big but—all in one place. And there's time happening, but all in one moment." He was in no fit state to try to explain this. He wasn't sure he even understood himself.

"Huh," the storm said. "Never seen anything like that before. I guess that explains where the rubble from 2Δ went, but—I have no idea how the physics in there must be working."

"I didn't see any rubble. Would there be any? If everything was destroyed—gods, souls, afterlives, dreams..."

"Subatomic ashes. The dimension's matter still oughta be somewhere."

He tried to remember if he'd seen anything that might be subatomic ashes. All he could remember was the three dimensional stars and stardust that had fallen in—and the party, and the bleeding. "If it was there, I wouldn't know how to sense it."

By the time they reached the edge of Dimension 2 Epsilon, and a 2D plane once more safely covered up the shifting border of Dimension Zero, the distant line of light had grown into a sea of pallid blue flame: the hydrogen of countless two dimensional stars burning as their universe crumbled and crunched up. In the distance, beyond the fire's perimeter, the Axolotl could see the still-unburned flat constellations and nebulas—and the divine firefighters chopping and hacking the universe in twain ahead of the fire edge. He realized that fire crews he'd seen nervously milling about earlier were just a skeleton crew: the real firefighting force was out here.

The flames seemed reluctant to lick up into the third dimension; they clung hard to the second dimensions, barely even radiating heat into the neighboring universe. There was an eerie focused calm to the gods trying to stop the fires below—all the devastation beneath them, close enough to touch, and yet not touching them. Yet. 

Even as many firefighters as were out here trying to get the fire under control, they couldn't cover the entire perimeter; and so the storm cloud lead the Axolotl right up to the fire edge along a span that the stretched-thin firefighting force didn't currently have covered. They were close enough that a few of the storm's raindrops fell on the fire, making it sizzle out in some small spots, only for the inferno to roar back to life a moment later.

The storm spoke for the first time in several minutes: "I can't begin to tell you how, but it's like the fire's fighting back against us. Every time the fire crews get even a little bit under control, it erupts again. We've had to start breaking off the burning portions of reality to keep the fires from spreading to the rest of the dimension," it gestured at the gods at work cracking off an enormous slab of existence from the rest of the dimension to create a chasm half a galaxy wide between the fire and the as yet still safe portion of the universe. The separated portion buckled and bubbled in the fire like a melting piece of plastic. "And... even that's not enough. Cosmic fires aren't my speciality—but I'm told breaking a dimension is guaranteed to stop a fire. But this one just keeps finding a way to... jump across."

"What do you mean, 'jump across'?"

On the safe side of the chasm, at least a lightyear away, a perfectly well-behaved solar system randomly burst into a geyser of flames.

"Oh."

Firefighters rushed to the newly burning star. Several planets had already blackened, curled up, and crumbled to ashes. The ashes rained down into Dimension Zero.

The storm cloud turned their path toward the new fire, the Axolotl following close behind. "They don't even always pop up near the fire edge like this." (As though a flame jumping an entire lightyear away could be called "near.") "Half a dozen popped up at random throughout Dimension 2 Gamma before we even realized how this fire moved. And as if that isn't bad enough, if the fire isn't targeting mortals, I'll eat my fedora."

This time, the Axolotl decided not to tempt fate by asking how a fire could target anything.

The firefighters struggled to contain the new fire with a line of 3D flame-retardant foam. They weren't even trying to put the fire out, he realized; they'd given up the solar system for lost. They were only trying to keep the fire back from one planet: a disc-shaped world, already cracked from the way the heat had warped and bent this dimension's surface, surrounded by billions of glittery flecks. People. His frills flicked forward in alarm.

Rescuers were using planet-sized planes to scoop the bewildered two-dimensional people off their endangered dimension, like spatulas trying to rescue a pancake from a skillet in the fires of hell, and handing them off to other rescuers to relocate to one of the refugee planets VENDOR had supplied. But as the storm and Axolotl caught up the fire somehow found a way past the solid wall of 3D foam to ignite the moon orbiting the hapless planet.

And as if that wasn't enough, it sprung up on the people, too. The screaming populations of entire towns spontaneously caught fire. To his horror, the Axolotl understood now what the storm had meant by the fires targeting mortals. Reality warped and bent beneath them, twisting, melting; burning people were crushed together by the distortions in reality and fused together into dozen-mouthed wailing bodies. The overburdened plane of reality ripped and disintegrated like threadbare fabric over a candle, and people fell screaming into Dimension Zero before they could be caught.

The storm cloud flinched back with a flash of lightning. "Shoot—it is getting faster."

The Axolotl automatically lunged forward to help them. A split-second wall of shrieking lightning blocked his path and a gust of wind pushed him back. "Don't," the storm snapped. "Leave it to the professionals."

"Sorry." The Axolotl backed up a safe distance with the storm cloud, stomach twisting. "Is there any way I can help—?"

"No," the storm cloud said quickly. "This fire can pop up anywhere—it's already caught four firefighters, and they're trained to deal with this stuff. We can't risk it spreading to the third dimension."

He hated not helping—but unfortunately, he understood. "How did you put out the fires on the firefighters?"

"We didn't. We threw them into Dimension Zero."

The storm was right; there was nothing natural about a fire that could kill gods.

"I've gotta go find out the latest," it said. "Can you stay out of trouble for a few minutes?"

"Yes. I promise." Although it might be the hardest thing he'd ever done.

The storm cloud left the Axolotl; and the Axolotl watched the fire.

####

It went against every instinct in his body not to reach out to scoop up the falling dead.

He'd worked for eons as a psychopomp before switching to a career that gave him more of a voice in what happened to the souls he escorted. He'd met billions of species with billions of different ways of dying; he wasn't squeamish around corpses, injuries, rot, disease. He was comfortable around death. Heck, he and death had each other's phone numbers for emergencies—they regularly crossed paths at professional networking events. 

But there were some deaths worse than others, and there were fates worse than death. As he watched, an oval with thin little arms plummeted into a direction it couldn't even see, its body burning up; and then its ghost burned up, too. It would never join the eternal dance party, and the Axolotl wasn't sure whether it was the lucky one.

As he watched, the Axolotl noticed something strange. Like any populated world, there were probably millions to trillions of different species around this one, although at a glance the Axolotl could only spy a handful. But although all of them were eventually caught by the flames, there was only one species that seemed to be victim of spontaneous combustion—and that seemed to be falling into Dimension Zero: the people that looked like living geometric shapes.

When the storm returned, it was quieter; even its tornado spun more slowly. The Axolotl got the sense it hadn't received good news.

But it didn't share what it had received. It said, "I've seen my fair share of apocalypses, but I've never seen anything like this before. Whatever this fire is, it's not natural." The eye of the storm watched one of the melting people falling like cinders into the center of the multiverse, until even its sunbeam couldn't pierce the miasma. "Ten to one, I'd bet you something intelligent is doing that."

"Your stupid terrorist?"

The cloud laughed ruefully. "Yeah." It watched a moment longer; then sighed out a long gust of wind and tried to rally some of its earlier stoicism. "So. Those people you saw in Dimension Zero must be the mortals from the dimensions around 2Δ getting dragged in by the fire. You can see how they've been peeling off their planes when the flames get 'em. I'm amazed they survived the fall into Dimension Zero."

"Survived" maybe wasn't the word the Axolotl would choose; but he didn't know how to begin to explain the horrors he'd seen down there.

He tore his eyes from the terrible rain of corpses. "Not all of them," he said. "I know for a fact at least one of the survivors is from 2Δ. I know him. I've met him before."

"You have." The storm managed to look dubious at this. "You're sure it wasn't an alternate of the same guy from a neighboring dimension?"

"I talked to him in Dimension 2 Delta. He remembered meeting me. It's him."

"Huh." The storm processed that silently. "Nope. I've got no explanation for that."

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 2 of a 5-or-6 part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. Here's part one if you missed it. I'm posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl slowly discover just how much of a monster that silly triangle he likes really is.

It's ALSO chapter 62 of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. I'm gonna fix the chapter numbering once I know how many chapters this plot is. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a oneshot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: nobody commented on the fact that I was calling Bill's dimension "Dimension 2 Delta" rather than just "the second dimension"—but I hope that, somewhere in your hearts, some of you were wondering what I had to differentiate his dimension from that necessitated labeling it Delta. :)

I think this is probably the least horrifying out of all the chapters. Because of that, I'm worried it's kinda boring, but that might just be because I'm comparing it to the undead corpse party. And also Bill isn't here.

It's also the least edited chapter because I may or may not have spent the last three days drawing the second dimension burning instead of writing and ran 30 minutes past posting time doing last minute rewrites lmao. So uh, lemme know if there are any typos, sentences that don't make sense because I changed how I wanted to phrase them halfway through and didn't notice, weird internal contradictions, whatever.

But more importantly let me know what y'all think!!)

[vaguely-concerned]

for what it's worth I personally don't believe spite had anything to do with the pantry near-kiss experience at all. I think that was a 100% lucanis naturel disaster no supernatural additives present or indeed required. at most spite was watching that whole situation go down with mild puzzlement about approximately every part of it, I don't think he'd have much interest in it one way or the other. the explanation seems much more mundane and grounded and in some ways much sadder to me.

if your nervous system has never been in a place where any surge of emotion, even -- in fact sometimes especially! -- a good and exciting one makes you feel like your soul just touched a hot stove it can't get away from, then sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and without a trace of snark, thank goodness and I hope you never experience it. For the rest of you... fistbump of solidarity it's rough out here but *grits teeth* we stay silly etc. In the place lucanis is in during that part of the game, feeling like you're losing control (again even for ostensibly good happy reasons) can feel an awful lot like you're dying, or worse. on top of everything else going on for him -- again going only with non-supernatural elements and not even comprehensive: a year of non-stop horrific trauma added to pile of previous mountain of childhood and attachment trauma. chronic sleep deprivation. apparently dead grandma doubling as mother figure. cousin-brother aggressively fucking around and in real danger of finding out. fucked up the ONE thing he thought he knew how to do that's been the central pillar of his identity. the world might be ending even more than it already was because of it. keeps faceplanting with barely any dignity and having to get up again with alarming regularity GOD how could I ever not save treviso this man desperately needs a W (just one!!) like few people in the history of the world have before him. he's more caffeine than man because the alternative feels worse. it's bad in here. and ON TOP of all that he's in the process of falling just. appallingly soul-shrivingly in love, which can notably be playing on hard mode even when you're in a mostly functional place, that shit routinely rocks people to the core under the best of circumstances.

so I'm not surprised it's too overwhelming for him to handle when he tries to throw himself in head first -- in fact I'd have been more surprised if it weren't lol. he clearly wants it so much, which only makes it so much more painful that he can't actually bear to touch it when it's offered to him freely and eagerly. this is the tantalus-level awfulness of this kind of attachment trauma; food seems to be right there, you can see it, almost smell it sometimes, but no matter what you just can't seem to reach it. seemingly not for any flaw in the existence of the food, but because of something broken in you that can't or can't bear to actually eat. his deliberate flirting routine is kind of deeply dorky tbh lol (in the most endearing way possible let's be perfectly clear) and I don't think it's entirely natural to him -- that's a hastily cobbled together 'oh god I am getting the vibes here it is happening for some reason they like me for my personality quick what would illario do' approach if ever I saw it, supported by the fact that it never really makes a return after this --

BUT I do think his obvious near-unbearable delight with rook's existence and person that shines through in that scene is entirely real and unfeigned. he likes them so much. he wants so bad to be able to be close to them. he's so hungry for the reprieve and release and relief they represent to him, just for one moment, just one break from all the awfulness to have something uncomplicatedly good. and it's here, it's been offered, he's welcome!!! and he has to flinch away at the last minute anyway because he's an exposed nerve of a human being. there's a point at which every sensation including joy becomes indistinguishable from agony. he's pretty much exactly at that point. for the love of god have some mercy on him people. the feeling that salvation is right here but you're too broken a vessel to hold it is one I wouldn't wish on anyone. let him have a few moments to stare into the void before he's ready to get back up and try again surely we all deserve at least that much lol

[unproduciblesmackdown]

in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative

[luminatricky]

Vampire? In Gotham! (part 1)

Summary: Danny's 19, a prince, a halfa, and tired of being these things. So he jumps on the idea of a vacation as soon he's given the hint of a chance. The only caveat is that he's going to go undercover as a vampire in a big city - Gotham - far from his home dimension. He finds it's easier than he thought it would be. He's already mostly there.

Relationships: Dead on Main (Jason Todd/Danny Fenton), John Constantine & Danny Fenton

Um? Inspired by several prompts and other fanfics. Lost Between Our Needs and Wants AU definitely, with a background Danny's summoned by Ra's as Damian as a sacrifice. Nothing bad happens (to Damian) don't worry. Also, the one in which Danny decided to fight ghosts as a human too.

And John is almost definitely ooc, he's a character I enjoy a lot even though I don't have a firm grasp of his canon.

Danny's afterlife has been way too interesting for way too long. It's gotten to the point that when things suddenly go quiet for months, he hardly hesitates to give his "human" life some over-due attention.

For obvious reasons he's not going to try his "vacation" in his own dimension. Anyone he once might have stayed for know how to get a hold of him, whenever and wherever.

The Amity Park portal is still open. But between the stricter laws on ghosts wanting to use permanent portals he managed to get passed, and the increasingly feral ways the townsfolk have begun defending each other with, Danny feels confident to finally...let go. In his heart, he had always thought of it as still his, despite not being there to maintain it in truth. But now it's not his Haunt anymore, fully and completely.

They don't need him anymore.

And Danny doesn't want to be needed like that again, to be honest. He sacrificed so much to play hero because he got it into his head that he had to do everything alone in the end. As if he was the only one who could kick ghost butt on the daily in town.

Thankfully, a nineteen year old Danny is smarter than a fourteen year old Danny. He's learned the art of delegation. Any tasks that he doesn't need to be present for, he has a whole team of ghostly assistants to handle things for him. The major multidimensional crises have for the most part been solved - his protection Obsession at the very least fed. And quite a few skeleton thralls he freed near the beginning of his reign were suddenly looking for direction. Among them, a decent amount found the talent and fulfillment in positions of bureaucratic power that Danny never will, filling up spots he's unwilling to give out like the candy the various ghosts of nobility treat the roles as. Or ghost nobility. Like the Ancients. Quite a few of the Ancients are assholes.

(At least all the murderous Ancients aren't problems anymore)

With all their help, he's able to occasionally pop in to do paperwork, meet with the High Court for various lawmaking and judicial decisions, and listening to official petitions to the Crown from his people. It's all good. No mountains of unseen paperwork, no audience with the Observants every waking moment, no one across the Realms screaming desperately for help. Even some of the cults have finally caught on that he's not Pariah!

So Danny starts the process of finding a new Haunt for his new, normal, alive alter ego. Staying as long as he has in the Realms couldn't have been sustainable long-term if he didn't want to become a full ghost. As complicated as his relationship with his humanity is these days, he still doesn't want to die again. And Frostbite definitely has been pushing him to finding new territory, in the Infinite Realms or otherwise. Because even for full ghosts going Hauntless for long periods is straining. To say the least.

Although, being just a human again...didn't sit right. Even after all this time. His human form is still one Danny Fenton, in his eyes.

He can never be Danny Fenton again. He accepted that his duties as Crown Prince would keep him away from the identity of the ghost hunter's ghost hunting son, who went to Casper high and had terrible grades in everything but science; the kid who was shoved into lockers and who was addicted to Nasty Burger and played DOOMED with his friends and who wanted to be an astronaut. He accepted that he had to leave that all behind, and be full ghost in all but form. His parents wouldn't want him if they knew everything he lied about, anyways. He didn't actually deserve the name Fenton.

His new Haunt would preferably be in a place where he could reasonably pass himself off as another species, then, and still be safe. Safer than being a ghost at least. Most universes had well-deserved folklore against the Realms. His people are not inherently malevolent...But he knows that they don't play nice and careful with the living.

He would need an ectoplasm rich environment, too. A big city with lots of crime would go a long way for providing the ambient death and fear vibes that would attract Blobs like a bee to nectar. It would also make it feel like the Infinite Realms - hopefully. He's gotten accustomed to that kind of environment. He thinks he may never sleep again in a place quiet and safe.

He'd like a place with a rich history too. Just for fun!

Danny mulls it over carefully, narrowing down universes he could reasonably start his search in. The only universe he can think of with extensive protections for the non-human written into law is one far-flung flavor of an Earth he's semi-familiar with. He's been there twice, both at 16, just starting out and stressed to hell and back with the sheer load of unattended problems Pariah left to rot.

Both times he'd been more than he'd have liked. One Ra's Al Ghul wasn't technically his problem. He was no one's problem now, and that was current Danny's whole issue with it.

John Constantine is an unlamented saint for putting up with a feral teenaged Danny's slap dash attempt at helping the both of them - John with his soul related doom, and Danny with his paperwork related misery.

But. Considering how he handled the contract with Al Ghul, Danny can't blame John for hesitating to renegotiate their terms already. Ra's Al Ghul was an idiot who gave him what he thought was the life of his grandson, in exchange for immortality.

Him. The Prince of the Dead. Immortality.

Thankfully, the wording was imprecise. What he actually traded was the kid's really cool sword - the kid kneeling, terrified eyes meeting his before darting away, offering his own sword to let Danny slit his throat and "collect his due sacrifice", Danny not being able to breathe through his own fear - for pure ectoplasm, with instruction to drink it everyday until he ran out.

This of course killed even him months later from over-exposure.

The man probably felt a mile high in the air, indestructible, right up until he crashed. Al Ghul promptly became a ghost. Which. Closest thing to true immortality the Prince of the Dead could offer him. He kept his end of the deal. It's not his fault that Al Ghul never specified that he didn't want to die to be immortal. It's also not his fault that Al Ghul had so many dead enemies and victims on the other side who were easy to find. It was ridiculously easy - they made a support group around being taken down by the LOA. And who was he to deny the dead their due vengeance?

Right. So John is understandably nervous about Danny owning all the pieces of his soul, no matter how much rapport they've built these past three years. Danny is mature enough to admit that it is his fault for that bit.

On the bright side for Danny, that means one grumpy occult detective in a sad trenchcoat is a guy who lives in his phone. Like an uncle-shaped tamagachi!

He scrolls though his contact list until he thumbs John's number. Surprisingly, instead of going to voicemail, he picks up on the first ring.

"Before you ask, yes I'm cashing in a favor, finally. No, it's nothing evil, I've just got the first actual free time I've had in five years and I'd like to get suggestions on a city to move to."

-------------------

John ended up giving a very detailed list in response. Suspiciously detailed, and hardly prompted. How long had John been thinking on this? And why?

Danny chalked it up to the man's reasonable paranoia when it came to him. John's aware he can pretend to be (fully) human with relative ease, afterall. And the older man knows where he'd need to be able to actually live long term. After-live. Whatever. Point is, John probably made it his business to know where any sneaky invasions would start if Danny ever became a little less morally ambiguous and a little more bloodthirsty.

Entirely fair! Pariah wasn't always a tyrant!

On the very top was Gotham, a city in this world's Jersey, and the crime capitol of the States. Plenty of ambient ectoplasm, and planty of charged emotions wafting from every street corner. He doesn't voice this, but Danny figures that there must be a whole community of ghosts already living there because of that double whammy.

Something about the city's name tickles his memory, but can't quite pin it down. If it was important he'd have remembered. Right?

John is thrown when he asks about his options of other non-humans Danny could reasonably get away with impersonating.

"And why," the occultist half-accuses, "would you of all spooks, want to live in Gotham, as a 'vacation', just to not even pretend to be normal?"

"First of all, ow. John you know just because someone is different doesn't mean they're not normal. I thought you were the cool uncle." He responds half-heartedly. Danny bites his bottom lip, rolling it between his sharp teeth as he tries to think of a part two to that answer that wouldn't get uncomfortably personal.

John doesn't rise to his bait. Danny hears him unscrew something metallic, then the sound of fluid swishing quietly from the other end. Ah.

The silence wears on. Danny should hang up. But winging things have always gotten him into bigger trouble. And John is the guy to call for this. Fuck. And he's bad at lying bold-faced.

Fine.

"I'm half human," Danny responds as if that would explain everything. It doesn't, so he manages to continue in a small voice that he doesn't even remember the last time he'd used. "Sometimes I still pretend to be one when I can't see any other way. But I had my chance at playing the part of both. And I royally screwed it up, literally! I became freaking royalty and I just couldn't anymore. As far as anyone but my doctor is concerned, I'm full ghost. I had a chance - I don't deserve another one. Screw ups don't get nice things."

John takes another swig from his flask, mutters something under his breath that sounds vaguely like 'of course he's a fecking halfa'. His voice is rough around the edges from whatever cheap booze he just drank a concerning amount of.

"Listen. Sounds like you've got trauma dripping from your ears, kid. But what's the point here, huh? Sounds like you want to be human without all the fuss of it." John drawls out.

Danny takes a deep breath in through his nose. He tries to fight down the feeling of being peeled open for the world to see - being afraid isn't helpful right now. He needs to be silly, nonchalant, like he's always been with John in tense situations. Why do they only talk when things are tense, anyways?

"Essentially. It's more like. I want to have all the human experiences I missed out on, but without having to hide being inhuman. That kinda thing."

"And you can't just be a ghost?"

"I really don't think anyone likes being ghosted."

"Don't you start on that. You know what I mean, Princeling."

"Fine. No, I can't be a ghost. That's boring and no one likes being haunted."

John gives a long sigh. After a beat, he acquiesces. "Alright. You could pull off vamps damn well. Got the hair for 'em. The teeth and claws are only slightly off. There's several clans with different looks the same way humans have ethnicities. Although, I don't think that's the same, now that I'm thinking about it. But subspecies doesn't fit either."

Danny hums, tilting his head in thought. "Like the difference between a banshee and a specter?"

"Yeah, like that. All vamps, just different enough, and no kind older than another to say they're the 'main' species." John clarifies. Another pause. "Unless you count Halfas. Which. Some people do but shouldn't. Bloody idiots."

Danny startles, nearly dropping his phone. "Excuse me?"

John snorts. "What? You didn't know?"

"Musta missed that part in the complimentary instruction manual they gave me for having my molecules redecorated." He snarks. "What do you mean I'm already a vampire?"

"I said people who don't know what they're talking about count Halfas as the original vampires. You lot have been around since the bloody dawn of time, it seems." John sounds exasperated.

"That's not what I - never have I ever wanted to take a chomp on anyone's pulse point, what the fuck?"

John gets that smug tone in his voice that Danny has a love-hate relationship with. "And exactly how many undead folks do you hang out with when you're feeling peckish?"

"...you can't be serious." Danny says instead of denying him. What can he even say to that? He's never met a Revenant or Ghoul.

"As the grave, I'm afraid."

When Danny doesn't outwardly respond for too many beats, John takes another chug. "Phantom?"

"John." He begins, pinching the bridge of his nose as more and more dots connect too cleanly for him. "You might be wrong."

"...What awful lore about your eldritch homeland is going to send me into my weekly crisis this time?" The detective groans out.

"Alright. So you know how part of my whole thing as the Prince makes it my job to stay aware of ectoplasmic diseases?"

John hums in acknowledgement, so Danny sucks in a deep breath. "Then you should know two things. One, that I've been to a few dimensions with vampires in them. And like you said, they're all different from each other. I didn't really pay much attention beyond helping the people survive these world-ending scenarios though.

Two, is that in each and every one of those realities, the vampirism was caused by a virus made by an Ancient - don't worry, they're gone. The disease itself is called False Halfa Syndrome. It was their attempt to weaponize Halfas back in Pariah's time."

"Oh shite." John says elegantly. "Bag o' shite!"

"Good luck on that crisis. Me too." Danny is hardly holding in hysterical laughter. "I can't believe Sam and Tucker were right about this. Holy shit."

"How in the world didn't you piece this together until now?!"

"I don't know! I just thought it was coincidence!"

"Bloody fucking hell, Phantom. Nevermind. You can play a vampire totally accurately because you are one. A ghost one." John growls. "Cause that just had to be a thing."

Danny carefully doesn't think about how Vlad might have legitimate claim to that vampiric aesthetic he's got going on. Instead, he's planning on stealing an aesthetic change for his own ruse.

"Nice. Should I know anything else while we're here?" He asks.

John gave a wry laugh, crackling over the phone's shitty old speakers. "About Gotham or your new undead existence?"

"Both." He says instantly. "Both is good."

"Gotham has vigilantes. The birds and bats are efficient, and they spook easy at unknowns. Batman's technically my coworker if we're gonna call the Justice League a job - we don't get paid for this. He and his family deal with the craziest lineup of human rogues I've ever had the displeasure. It's made him a healthy amount of paranoid. If you're doing anything nefarious, he'll find you. And then he'll call me."

Danny isn't exactly afraid of John. But Pariah wasn't afraid of Danny, either, so the halfa takes it seriously. Internally.

"Yeah yeah old man. You've got your eye on me and all that. Uh huh." He genuinely appreciates the warning, too, but messing with John is his bread and butter.

"Watch it, brat," John says with no real venom, unlike a moment ago. "Or I'll bring out the stakes."

"I take mine medium rare, thank you."

"Piss off."

"...About the vampirism?"

"Normal ghost bullshite applies. It's about the ecto, I think. You go absolutely nutters for the stuff in undead folk. Something about how ectoplasm interacts with the reanimated. Liminals are nutritious too, but I've been told it's the difference between cafeteria food and gourmet. One smells absolutely heavenly, the other is barely appetizing."

Oh Ancients is that why all his exes are Liminal? No, hold on, was part of the reason Vlad was so weird about him just ghost-vamp on ghost-vamp mutual hanger?

"What, I'm not the only Halfa in your life? John. I thought we had something special."

"Please don't make this weird. Do not flirt with me." John instantly scolds. "I know you're just being your little weird brand of playful, but I knew you when you were a kid shaped menace. C'mon."

Danny blinks. He didn't think he was flirting, but apparently he was. "Alright. Sorry, John."

There's a sudden crash on the other side of the phone. Followed by John's muffled cursing.

"Listen, I have to go. If you're serious about this I'll get you some good fakes. Text me with what you'd like your name to be." And then John hangs up. Danny smiles into the lingering silence.

------------

PhantomMenace: Dante Nightingale, pwetty please 0w0

God's Favorite Whore: That's the most main character name I've ever bloody seen.

God's Favorite Whore: You're from a dead family in Illinois, farm boy, meta. Had an accident at 14, with a near death experience for believability. You've also been missing since shortly after it. Anyone looking into you will think that's when you got "turned."

PhantomMenace: thats why your the cool uncle <3

God's Favorite Whore: This should count as another favor, don't you think?

PhantomMenace: Yup. I'll be nice

PhantomMenace: 💚 ~2/20 Favors until Soul Return~ 💚