#but hopefully will just keep getting better and better

[writing-flower]

“ Between life and death, death is tempting ”

First act: “From the roots”

Prologue: “Happy fifteenth birthday! (Again?)”

WARNING: Mention of blood and death.

My memory had never been the best, it was good, but not exceptional. Nothing out of this world.

I wasn't as smart as Damian or Tim, I wasn't as strong as Jason or Dick, nor was I as sharp as Bruce Wayne.

I wasn't exceptional, but I was good, but not good enough for them. For him.

God, I was so focused on getting his attention, playing sports, try to pass every subject with the highest grade, join any club like debate or math.

Anything, but all that never leads to anything.

Well, almost nothing, everything I did only caused Damian to see me as a desperate for attention, which, he wasn't wrong.

But still, it didn't make it hurt any less, every insult, malicious insinuation even the occasional threat flying through the air, each one was the result of three years of trying to get someone to look at me.

Sometimes that attention only appeared with Dick, on the few times that he came to visit and came across a scene of me with Damian, He immediately stopped him.

Forcing him to apologize, spoiler, he never apologized.

The first time it happened I thought that my attempts had finally yielded good results, but no, I dare say this was worse.

As if he gave me hope and then suddenly he snatches it away without any fanfare.

Oh wait, that's literally what happened.

And about the others, I didn't even have the chance to talk to them, simply because I was already tired and also because if Damian continued he would have more reasons to screw me.

And let's face it, nobody wants to feed the wolf because you know it bites.

In this case, the bird.

It didn't help that almost the entire family was going on patrol, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in being part of that, but then I remember Jason...I immediately got that idea out of my mind.

Mm, but if I stop to think, or rather, remember, another thing that I learned in my attempts to get my family's attention, I fell in love with dance.

It was the only class that I didn't drop like the others, I genuinely loved it.

Once in her class, the teacher made us all dance with large, long, and thin fabrics. She made us dance what we wanted, in her words: “Dance as if you were free”.

My companions danced with joy, I just stayed silent for a few moments watching them without knowing how to start.

But then I sighed to close my eyes, letting my body move as it wanted.

“Dance as if you were free” I thought, I started to imagine the music in my head. It was nice, I love it.

I went from knowing what the hell to do to starting to laugh with my classmates, I turned around and then curtsied, feeling how almost all the fabric covered my body.

I open my eyes and see my entire audience applauding, not just me, but also the rest of the dancers.

As soon as I turned eighteen I followed my teacher's advice. I didn't do it before because I was a minor, I needed my tutor's permission and blah blah blah...

Contact with my family at this point was zero, except for the new member, Duke, a sweet and kind boy.

Just looking at him made prayers come to mind for Bruce.

“If you let this kid end up like Jason, I’ll take care of throwing the Joker at you myself, you unhappy idiot.” I was thinking but also listening as Duke energetically told me what his first patrol had been like.

I used to have a certain respect for Bruce, I mean, he's Batman and he does everything in his power to make sure Gotham isn't in such a shitty place.

But then I remember that he keeps adopting children as if they were dogs to give them "A better life" by turning them into human weapons.

Sooooo, yeah, I wish that every day he wakes up with a backache and a headache.

"[Name]"

"Yes dear?" Through the mirror I watched Duke looking at me hopefully as I put on my makeup for the upcoming performance in an hour.

Oh no, I already know what he's going to ask.

"Why do you never come to the mansion?" God, I swear he does that look on purpose, brat.

I sigh as I turn around to look at him.

"You already know my answer, I have no reason to do it and I don't want to either." I said as I turned back to the mirror to continue.

"Yes! I know, but why exactly don't you want to?"

A silence reigned in the room, putting on my makeup but at the same time thinking about what to answer him.

As much as I resent the Waynes, they didn't do anything to Duke, until now, they treat him as he deserves and the last thing I want is to plant that seed of hatred towards them in Duke.

Because I know him, as soon as I tell him what my childhood was like in that mansion and those responsible, the first thing he will do is complain.

And at this point in my life I don't want any unnecessary drama with them.

I lowered the lipstick and looked at him.

"I never liked being in that mansion, since I was little I was always afraid of those giant, dark hallways, and I still am."

Duke stared at me in bewilderment. "Is that the only reason you don't want to come to the mansion?"

I nodded. "It sounds stupid, I know, but every time I walk down those halls it brings back bad memories."

That wasn't a lie.

Duke was silent for a few moments before coming up to me and hugging me.

"Aww, honey you are such a sweetheart sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah, because you can be a brat sometimes too." I laughed as I ruffled Duke's hair until it was disheveled.

"A white lie won't hurt anyone." I thought while Duke laughed and tried to pull my hand out of his hair.

Without realizing it, it was already time to start. I said goodbye to Duke, telling him to go back to the mansion, but he insisted on staying.

Something I allowed, GOD, I should have begged him not to do it.

Because from one moment to the next while I was dancing, all the lights went out and when they came back on I felt like blood was flooding my mouth, like everyone was screaming in fear.

What happened? Why am I bleeding?

Duke, he was next to me trying to keep me awake, to not close my eyes.

It got to the point where I couldn't hear anything he was saying, it was complicated while I felt like a part of my body was bleeding non-stop.

I hate to see him cry, please look away... leave me here.

Please...

I don't want the last thing I see to be you crying...

Please...

She opened her eyes calmly and confusedly, all she could hear was the ringing in her ears. She thought she was in a hospital because of the light.

But when her vision stopped blurring, she realized that the light was not from a hospital spotlight, but from the skylight in the wooden ceiling.

"Wait...Skylight?" She muttered, feeling her voice raspy and her throat sore.

The bed wasn't that soft, it was really hard and uncomfortable but still [Name] didn't want to get up, after almost dying...

[Name] sat up in bed right away.

"I ALMOST DIE!" She literally jumped out of bed and ran to the closet to get her clothes.

She needed to see how Duke was doing, his desperate face and the way he held back the urge to cry and couldn't, broke her heart.

But it was when she pulled out a t-shirt that she realized.

"This isn't my size..." Confused, [Name] walked over to the mirror.

If Duke broke her heart, now she's literally having a heart attack.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" [Name] could swear that any living thing that was near her would have run away in less time than it takes a rooster to crow.

She touched her face carefully, as if it would disappear or break if she touched it hard, this is so weird...a woman in her late twenties trapped in her fifteen year old self, god, what a hell.

[Name] She stepped back without taking her eyes off the mirror while she sat back down on her bed.

On the other side of the door, she heard someone knocking on it two or three times. Accompanied by a soft but direct voice calling her name.

"Miss [Name]"

[Name] immediately turned around to stare at the door, for a few short moments no one said anything, there was only silence.

"Are you okay? You didn't come down to breakfast. That's not something usual for you." Alfred said once he got no response from her.

"Yeah, I'm fine Alfred...I just stayed up late last night that's all..." She didn't know what to say, obviously it wasn't okay, but she didn't want any more problems in her head, she just wanted to focus on the main problem.

She literally just got younger, which would be a good thing if it weren't for the fact that she also came back to this damn mansion.

"Okay, miss, I'll be waiting for you with your breakfast, you need to eat something before you start the day." [Name] was about to reply until Alfred stepped in. "Also, Happy Birthday Miss."

She didn't say anything, she didn't want to.

Alfred walked away from the door, [Name] could hear his footsteps moving away through the hallways and down the stairs.

"Was it always this quiet?" She muttered in her mind as she turned her gaze back to the mirror.

She thought about her life before coming back here, it wasn't good, she didn't earn much from dancing, but... it was her life, a life that took her time to perfect.

And now, I go back to the beginning? Shit, no.

"Alive or dead, I don't care, either way I'm getting out of here..." She said with some frustration and tiredness. "Happy birthday to me...that's new."

With nothing left to lose, she gets back out of bed to find some clothes to change into.

It was her birthday and she had to look good.

And hopefully, it would be the last birthday she would spend in this mansion.

NOTES: Hi, I hope everything is okay, even if it's better than me, I had finished the 'prologue' a while ago but I was feeling a bit unsure that something felt out of place or "weird".

I repeat and reiterate, I can understand English but in terms of speaking/writing it I am still learning. Until I feel completely confident for now I will continue using the translator (my savior).

But if there are any errors (probably some, I hope not many) let me know, I want everyone to be able to read comfortably and as long as I can I will make it happen.

Anyway, I hope you like it, I love you! Muak muak💋💋

TAGS:

@crazycaoticsimp @closetreader1864

[mintmatcha]

I've been thinking of nothing but spollen reader and Iida sneaking off during a friend get-together. Maybe even a holiday party for added pizazze. They're hiding in the pantry and Iidas fucking reader sloppy, messy and grunting while pawing at her tits. She's trying not to make any noise because she can HEAR Shouto not too far from the pantry, and god he can't find them like this.

Maybe Iida cums deep in her and keeps whispering about getting her nice and pregnant while she sits beside Shouto at the table, or on the couch. Ughhh. Thinking hard.

Sometime in the night before it all, someone asks when you and Shouto and getting married. You're about to tell them soon, hopefully soon, when Shouto speaks up.

"I don't think we'll ever get married," he says, placidly, like it isn't crushing to hear. Usually, he had waved off the ideas, given you maybes or somedays, but tonight he just shrugs.

It devolves into a public spat of sorts, of course with you getting worked up and Shouto staying relatively calm.

"It's not like we're going to have children," he says. "So what's the point?"

"I want a commitment." You want a ring, a house, a family-

"I am committed-- I just don't need a stupid piece of paper."

You step away. "I need space right now."

Shouto doesn't follow you into the backroom of his family's house, neither do his siblings or your friends.

But Iida does.

It's how you end up pressed into the wall of his father's room, Iida jackhammering into you. It's almost pathetic, the way he holds you, the way he buries his face into your neck and whines for it.

"I'd give it to you-" You have to slap a hand over his mouth to quiet him, but he doesn't stop talking. You can barely focus on quieting yourself, let alone him.

"Give you babies," he mumbles into your palm. "give you a ring-"

Later, when you reappear, Shouto throws an arm over your shoulder as if nothing happened.

"Feeling better now?" he asks.

"A little."

[obae-me]

How He Kisses

Hey there, so things are...kinda awful right now, and while I don't want to fully distract myself from my other works I'm chipping away at, I did want to post something a bit short and sweet to hopefully- well, saying "to make everyone feel better" feels sort of self-inflated, but if I can make everyone stop and think about something happy for just one second, that's more than I can ask for. I have no idea how similar this is to my hug headcanon ones. Not really checked for too many errors, this was all kind of done in the spur of the moment, but I don't think that matters too much.

Lucifer

Proper and slow. He likes being patient, kissing you once before pulling back to look at your face. He feels a sense of Pride when he can see the effect he has on you, knowing that he can comfort you like this. He's a perfectionist, he likes the whole experience to be included. That's why he likes to do it more often when you two are alone, knowing he has the freedom to do whatever it takes to make this moment perfect. Whether it's music, a lit fireplace, over a dinner, under the comfort of a blanket, everything is set up for you. To show his love for you, nothing less than high quality will be accepted. The kiss is simply the bow that ties everything together. And he'll take his time to relish in this moment with you.

Mammon

Fervent and greedy. He cannot contain his love for you. Even around his brothers, he lets it slip. So when you find yourselves alone, it's like pulling the lid off a stuffed container. Your eyelids, your ears, your forehead, cheeks, chin, lips, none of them shall be spared in his spree. It's almost frantic, as if he doesn't get as many now, he'll never have them again. He craves all of you, and he wants to be only yours in equal measure. Love, soul, attention, all of it is for you. It's as if he has to make up the seconds lost whenever you're apart. He never wants it to end. He hardly breathes. Every one is just as good as the last, and he is focused on making it just as wonderful an experience for you as well. After all, he wants you to be greedy too. Tell him your every desire.

Levi

Eager and grateful. Push past the anxiousness and the self-doubt, and you find a Levi that adores you more than anything. Like an ultra rare drop he can't get anywhere else. If he can stand in line for days for something he wants, he will stand with you till the end of time. His kisses show that, how deeply in love he is for you. Given the chance, he has the confidence to prove to you how special you are to him. Every kiss gets him more excited than the last, and in turn, he's determined to do whatever it takes to make you feel just as joyous as he is in these moments. Thank you for being here with him, your presence means more to him than you currently know, and he'll spare no effort to start showing you that.

Satan

Meek and curious. Whether or not it is considered if he's kissed someone before, every time he kisses you, it feels like the first time. He almost always has a distant look on his face, as if he's thinking about a million other things at the same time, and every million of those thoughts is something about you. He learns something new every time and commits it to memory. Which way your head naturally tilts, where you prefer his hands to be, how many you like, how long they take, he's going to remember them all. Well, he says that, but oftentimes its as if his mind wipes after every kiss. It's hard to think during those moments. But he's not worried about it, that just means he'll have to keep going. He has no plans to leave your side anytime soon after all.

Asmo

Uplifting and addictive. He likes to kiss for every occasion, every emotion. Happy? Kiss. Excited? Kiss? Sad? He says he saves his best kisses for those moments especially. Maybe it's shared love that makes his kisses almost tingle, or maybe its some kind of magic. It makes you feel light. And he'll give you as many as you want. He adores kissing you, not able to get enough of it. It's as though he's almost on clockwork, having to give you an embrace at perfect intervals throughout the day. He can't get enough of you, and he can't help but get giddy at the thought of running to your side and letting you know exactly just how much he loves you.

Beel

Warm and encompassing. Gluttony often gets mixed up with Greed, but this is one of those instances where the differences are clear. Every kiss is slow, and feels as if it lasts several lifetimes. It's as if he's drinking you in, savoring this moment in it's entirety. Of course he'll come in for seconds, and thirds, and fourths, but it comes steadily. Something about his kisses fills you with a warmth that's hard to describe, similar to soup or a hot beverage seeping through every part of your body to endure the coldest of days. It makes your toes curl like they're in warm socks. It makes you feel as if nothing can get to you. And with him around, nothing will.

Belphie

Soft and persistent. No amount of drowsiness can stop him. Even if he's asleep, the demon that will normally sleep like the dead will wake himself up and make sure to give you a kiss. They're so gentle, and it's difficult to tell if its tied to his personality, or if he's afraid of hurting you. Sometimes they're as light as a feather, almost tickling you. If you're falling asleep, they'll never wake you, only guiding you towards sweeter dreams. With every movement you make, you'll almost recognize the sensation of his kisses. They're like a promise, an assurance, that even in the deepest darkest of dreams, he's right there. They always lull you into a sense of peace.

[blackynsupremacy]

TWO IN THE MORN

pairing: nicholas a. chavez x black!fem!reader

summary: you complain to your stepbrother about your insomnia. fortunately, he has the solution for this issue.

contains: smut, 18+ content mdni, stepcest, stepbro!nicholas, sort of romantic/fluffy, slight age gap (reader is 19, nick is 22), reader is lowkey gullible, pwnp, fingering, finger riding, clit play, under the clothes, squirting, cum eating, risk kink, praise kink, aftercare.

a/n: whew this had me tingling! hope it’s the same for ya’ll 😫 sometimes foreplay can be lowkey sexier than actual intercourse. it’s the ✨tension✨ for me, that’s jmo. anyways, thank you all for the support! i’ll get on those requests.

taglist: @greengoblinswifey @hopefully-saturn @jkr820 @hoffmansgirl @austeenbootler @niteskysx @sabrinasopposite @thabiddie23 @hnch33rios @xoxoglittergossip @supaprettyg @motherismotheringggg @oscarisaackissmykitty @simply-lovley44 @elitesanjisimp @gxuxhdjdu @v3n1ce-bxtch @iamsebastiansstan @stargirl-mayaa @miguelspvssy

“shh, you don’t wanna wake up mommy and daddy do you, princess?”

your stepbrother, nicholas, lowly whispered as his hand was buried deep within your silk black pajama pants patterned with white hearts, his ring and middle fingers moving like clockwork in the depths of your clenching walls. you tried to keep yourself quiet as possible, but due to nicholas’ skill, it was damn near impossible.

“mm. mm-mhm.” you manage to whimper, feeling so bashful under his searing, ebony gaze. your chest heaved deliberately as the spaghetti straps of your top started to droop down the skin of your shoulders. your leaned back with your hands placed firmly flat on his mattress, your fingers practically clawed at his plaid sheets. instinctively, you bucked your hips in tandem to the motion of his fingers, softly hissing through your teeth when nicholas brought his thumb to swipe against your sensitive button. a strained whine escaped from you when he pinched it between his thumb and index.

“shh, easy, princess. i’ll give you what you need.” he seductively reassured, pushing his fingers further within your wet heat. what you really needed was some sleep.

ever since your mom married his dad, things have been interesting concerning your relationship with nicholas. he wasn’t a bad stepbrother. he was chill, protective, charming, funny, and an all around good “brotherly” figure to have around. if by brotherly, you mean coming to him with a request for advice on your boy issues, then hell yes. you’ve already talked it out with girls, but who understood guys better than—a guy? nicholas always knew what to say and you would easily follow his advice because it actually got you asked out by your crush! you were grateful to him and you’d never dare to say it out loud to a living soul, but you thought he was—hot. even if it weren’t for the circumstances of being bound by your parent’s marriage, you wouldn’t lie that you had a tiny crush on your stepbrother. it kind of made you jealous how your friends could easily fawn over him and rave about how handsome he is while you couldn’t even courtly agree, so that you wouldn’t come off as a perverted creep.

besides, he was just easy to talk to and hang out with.

this night in particular would completely shift your whole family dynamic. it was two in the morning and you couldn’t sleep, no matter how long you closed your eyes, you weren’t lulled into slumber like you should. that’s when you got up from the comfort of your bed, walked quietly passed your parent’s bedroom down the hall, and found yourself right in front of nicholas’ bedroom door that was slightly cracked open. you peeped through the small opening to see that he was still awake himself, scrolling and typing away on his phone while laying on his bed. respecting his privacy, you lift your knuckles to knock the “secret code” you two created to signal to each other when you wanted access to each other’s rooms. within seconds, you heard the springs of the mattress creak as your stepbrother received the signal and his footsteps quietly, yet deliberately reached the door before he opened it wider to reveal his six foot figure leaning against the doorframe. it was dark, but you could still see that he was wearing a black ribbed tank top that showed off his large biceps with grey sweatpants that hung loosely on his hips, his signature gold cross chain around his neck twinkled in the darkness. fuck, no matter what he wore, he always managed to look amazingly hot.

you try not to gawk too long before he’d start to notice. you swallowed quickly before uttering an awkward greeting in a low, breathy voice.

“hey.” you say, hiding your hands behind your back. it was something you did when you were nervous.

nicholas raised a brow, tilting his head in concern before running a hand through his already messy, brown hair.

“hey.” he reciprocated, his voice raspy, but low enough so only both of you could hear. “are you okay, y/n?”

at his inquiry, you shake your head.

“i can’t sleep. can—can i hang out in here with you? i hope i’m not intruding.” you ask, your doe eyes meeting his what was once a sleepy gaze, instantly lit up at your request.

“uh, yeah—sure. make yourself comfortable.”

nicholas nods before giving a once over to his bed and steps aside to allow you inside of his bedroom. as you take your spot at the foot of the bed, he slowly closes the door, careful not to make a sound that could wake your sleeping parents. after switching on the lamp, he steps over to the bed and comfortably takes a seat a mere foot away from you because he respects your space as you do his. nicholas leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees as his eyes meet with yours.

“so what’s keeping you awake tonight, hm? is everything okay with you?”

you shift, clasping your hands on your laps and shrugging your shoulders.

“i don’t know—maybe it’s stress. i’ve tried everything to get relaxed enough. a hot shower, chamomile tea. hell, i even put on one of those sleep hypnosis videos and it still didn’t work, nicholas.” you explain, counting on your fingers as he takes in every word and giving an attentive nod. with a hum from his chest, nicholas straightens up his posture before giving your figure a quick examination, raking his eyes up and down. now, you were starting to feel like an idiot at his silence, but you weren’t expecting what was going to come out his mouth next.

“i don’t think you’ve tried everything.” he states, casually leaning back on the bed, his hands giving him leverage. you shoot him a puzzled look and turn your body to completely face him with a furrowed gaze.

“well—what do you mean? what do you think can put me to sleep and keep me asleep this late, nicholas?” you question, unconsciously leaning forward as you were itching to find the solution. nicholas’ guidance has never really failed you, so you were eager for his opinion on the matter. he didn’t move an inch as you came closer, there was something different that twitched inside of him. at the sight of your scantily clad upper body in that black and white polka-hearted top with the lace hugging the melanated mounds of your breasts that was merely a few inches from his chest, he couldn’t resist throwing a quick glance to the display before meeting your soft, pleading gaze.

“here’s my solution— an orgasm.” he blatantly suggests, his eyes flickering to a certain suggestive light. you were bit inexperienced in that area, so it was only natural that the heat of embarrassment scorched your skin, your mouth agape as nicholas struck you speechless.

“a what?” you ask, registering what you just heard.

nicholas could only chuckle at your reaction which he found to be absolutely adorable. he loved that your unique beauty and your trusting nature painted an image of naivety that just turned him on. he couldn’t deny that when you came to him for almost everything under the sun, it made him feel a sense of purpose, power, and control. a lazy smile painted on his chiseled face paired with those half-lidded bedroom eyes of his that always put you in a tizzy.

“c’mon, we’re both adults here. i know you heard me, but i’ll say it again: an orgasm can help get you to sleep.”

“how do you know?” you question with a tilt of your head, but then all the dots start to connect, realization painted on your already heated face.

“that means you’ve done it before.”

“atta girl!”

with a snicker, he pats the top of your head in which you shake him off.

“so—sex can wear you out like that?”

he nods before giving you a further explanation.

“well, all aspects of sex can do that. from fucking to masturbation. even oral, depending on how intense it is.”

at the mention of masturbation, it was now your turn to deliberately nod.

“i guess that makes sense. god, i sound so sexually uneducated and i’m almost twenty for fuck’s sakes.” you exasperatedly sigh, nicholas chuckled and scooted closer towards you making his leg brush against yours.

“it’s no big deal, it’s all about knowing your body in your time. you’ll get there, y/n.” he reassures you with a sincere gaze.

“see, that’s the problem, nicholas.”

“what is?”

“i can’t get there. like—when i, y’know.” you pause, gesturing towards your lower region. “i’m relaxed, but i can’t finish. i want to go back to my room and take your advice, but i don’t think i can do it. i feel like there’s something wrong me—”

“stop.” nicholas immediately cuts you off, placing his index finger on your lips. who knew that a touch so small could send such a surge of electricity through your entire body? your silence was his cue for him to continue.

“listen to me, okay? there’s nothing wrong with you and anyone who’s made you feel otherwise, can fuck themselves.”

your stepbrother pauses to carefully examine your natural features. he found you, his stepsister, to be absolutely breathtaking. nicholas absolutely loathed the circumstances of this situation as his feelings for you never changed from the very moment he and his father had dinner with you and your mother. you were his everything and you didn’t know it all. you didn’t know of all his yearning for your voice, your touch, your laughter, and your body. your presence had him fucked up in a million different ways and in this clandestine moment between you, he couldn’t hide it any longer.

“i believe—you’re absolutely perfect.”

your heart skipped a beat at your stepbrother’s confession, did he just—confess his feelings? for you? had you been blind that he saw you the way you saw him? one part of you was elated while the other pondered on the possible consequences if anyone figured out the bond between you was more than platonic, especially your parents.

“nicholas, i—” you start, but he interrupts you again, his face inching closer to yours as the tip of your noses brush against each other.

“if you feel like you can’t do it, then i can help you.”

your breath hitched in your throat, your eyes searching his for clarity on his statement as his lips ghosted over yours.

“you’d do that? but, i’ve never had—”

nicholas’ large hand came up to rest on your cheek, his thumb swiping across your flaming skin in reassurance.

“we’re not going that far, babe. especially not with mom and dad in the house, but we can unpack that later—what i need to know is do you want me to help you go to sleep tonight?”

your mind was already made up, there was no way you could pass up an opportunity like this. all the cares and worries of getting caught now gave you the craving of the thrill that you’d be been waiting for and your stepbrother was the right person to do so.

“mm-hm.” you murmur, nodding your head as your heart rate increased in tempo within your chest. the familiar tingly sensation pools in between your legs.

“that won’t work for me, sweetheart, use your words.” he softly demands, his hand sliding from your face down to your waist to shorten the distance between you.

“yes, nicholas, yes! please—” at your desperate pleas, your stepbrother closes the gap between you by smashing his lips on yours, a line that both of you have been dying to cross for months. your hesitant at first, but once you get the feeling of his intoxicating touch, you fall right into his rhythm as his tongue skillfully wraps around yours, causing you to hum in satisfaction deep into his mouth. he pulls away after a few seconds, you pout as worry creeps in.

“did i do something wrong? was i bad?” you frantically questioned in a whisper, feeling self-conscience about the act you were committing. nicholas calmed the fret in your voice by placing another kiss to your lips, a deep hum of satisfaction erupts from his chest as you relax in his arms and return the affection. he pulls back again.

“no, no, sweetheart. you’re doing just fine. just wanna let you know m’bout to touch you. you okay with that, baby?”

you were about to nod, but then remembered that nicholas needed your verbal consent, so you quickly changed your tune.

“y-yes, go ahead.” your voice shaky, but affirmative enough for him to continue by snaking his hand under your tank top to cop a feel of one of your breasts. you shiver when his rough palm meets the plush skin, rewarding it with a squeeze. you want to cry out when he brings his other hand in and starts to knead your chest beneath your shirt, but you bite down on your lip to not a make sound.

“fuck, your tits feel so perfect. i’ve always thought they were—it’s like they were made just f’me.” he whispered before gazing up to see your strained, but blissful face. with a quiet chuckle, he makes things worse when he starts to spread wet, open mouth kisses along your neck and collarbone. your grip on his sheets tighten when he moves from your breasts down the trail of your stomach and navel until he made it right above the waistline of your matching pants. before he could even ask, it was now your turn to make a demand. it was getting late, you just wanted to sleep.

“i want you to touch me, nicholas.” you pause by holding onto his wrist to inch his hand deeper into your pants, “please.”

“eager, aren’t we? be a good girl and spread those legs f’me.”

you do as you’re told and your breath hitches when his fingers slide beneath your clothing. nicholas chuckles as he figures out that you’re completely bare, giving him easy access to your throbbing, wet core.

“no underwear? guess you’re not as innocent as i thought.” he slyly comments, not wasting time for his fingers to graze along your slit. when the pads of his middle and ring make light, pressured circles around your clit, you whimper before you hastily cover your mouth before you take it away once you have control of sounds—or so you thought when one finger eased its way inside, stretching your walls as they clench around him.

“you’re so tight, sweetheart. m’gonna put another finger in, ‘kay?”

with that, his ring joins in with his middle, both working in tandem as they push in and pull out so fluidly it makes your leg spread and head spin. when his fingertips hit that one spot, you gasped, holding onto his wrist to signal for him to hit it right there. nicholas wasn’t playing around as he instantly picked up on your cue, pumping his fingers faster against the erogenous area of your walls.

“s-shit, nicholas that feels s-so—” you try to stammer out, but he interrupts you by placing his free finger on your lips.

“shh. try not to make a sound. you don’t wanna get caught do you?”

you shake your head, stifling your mewls by swallowing.

“that’s my good girl. m’gonna make you feel so fucking good, beautiful.” he boasts by pressing his thumb over your clit again, rapidly jutting it up and down in which your hips instinctively buck into his fingers. the only sounds you could hear in the room is the light squelching of your sex combined with the muffled “hm, hm, hm” buried in your mouth as the familiar heat deep in the pit of you began to burn.

“c-close.” you murmur loud enough for only him to hear, you lean back as your hips were squirming against his gliding digits.

“i know, baby, i know. do something f’me okay? c’mere.” he beckoned you closer in which you did before his free arm guides one of yours to grasp onto his shoulder, you follow suit by taking your other and placing it on the respective shoulder, so that you could hold onto him with a firm grip.

“move with me, baby. ride my fingers.” he moved his fingers steadily as you begin to grind your hips in the perfect rhythm, his thumb never ceasing its affection on your sensitive, puffy button. it was all driving you so crazy, that your nails dug into the skin of his muscular shoulders before you practically bounced yourself at a rapid speed on his fingertips, your breath now labored with each thrust.

“oh, fuck. oh, fuck, nick! m’gonna cum!” you softly bellowed, the pitch of your voice getting higher.

“fuck, go ahead, gorgeous. make a mess all over of me. i got you.”

before you could utter another sound, nicholas grabbed you by the neck to pull you into a passionate kiss, where you poured every single lewd sound you had pent up melt into his mouth as your tongues reunite in a sensual dance. there were so many sensations going on at once from above to below, that the slow simmer of the heat that coiled inside of you grew hotter until it finally exploded. as it occurred, you pulled back from him, tightly grasping his wrist as intense tidal waves of pleasure surged through you, causing you to weakly double over into his chest. your mouth was wide open, but not a sound came out as your juices flowed onto his fingers and poured down your thighs. after you rode out your high, nicholas slide his fingers out to take a taste of the glistening substance that poured on his hand. a hum mixed with some soft profanity left his lips at the new taste—his next idea brewing in his filthy mind.

“you did so well, angel.” he wrapped his burly arms around your shaky, fucked out form, resting a kiss to your forehead. he noticed that you were quiet, his brown eyes descended towards you to see that you were knocked out cold in a sweet slumber after such an encounter. if he could, he’d sit here all night watching you peacefully sleep in his arms, but he had to put you back in bed before sunrise, so that your parents wouldn’t be suspicious. ever so stealthy, he picked you up bridal style and walked quietly to your open bedroom before gingerly placing you in the sheets, pulling them over to conceal you from the chest down. he was even kind enough to find your protective satin bonnet, gently lifting your head to securely place it over one of the many hairstyles that he always found to be stunning on you. nicholas’ soft, coffee gaze lingered on your peaceful, sleeping figure before he leaned forward to lay one last kiss on your head.

“sweet dreams, princess.”

after he bid you a tender goodnight, he gazed down at the stiff arousal within his sweats. nicholas concluded that he had to take his own advice of putting himself to sleep within the privacy of his bedroom only with the thoughts of you on his mind.

[hockeyboistrash]

so @captain-huggy-bear isn't feeling well at the moment and I wanted to write a little blurb for them. I hope you get better soon 💖 Quinn falling for his teammates best friend.

Quinn Hughes wasn't supposed to fall for anyone, let alone his teammates best friend. He told himself at the start of the season his focus was on getting his team to the Stanley Cup playoffs and he couldn’t do that with distractions. What he didn’t plan on was his new teammate having a cute friend. 

You and Kiefer became fast friends when he came to Vancouver from Nashville, living in the same apartment building. He was new to the city and you knew exactly how that felt, having been in the same position a few years ago. You showed him and his girlfriend around what was going to be their home, hopefully, for a while. 

When you first came out with the team everyone loved you, everyone but Quinn. You weren’t sure what you did to upset him but you weren’t going to let it ruin your night. You tried everything, talking to him, asking about his life. However, all you got in return were grunts or one word answers. After a while you gave up trying. 

Kiefer assured you that it was only because his captain was under a lot of pressure that he was cold towards you. You weren’t convinced though, smiles and laughter were always heard before you got to the table but always fizzled out when you sat down. He couldn’t even look you in the eye. 

It’s why you were surprised when you heard Quinn’s voice behind you, coming to your rescue. You only went to get a drink when some guy tried hitting on you. You weren’t interested in him though. The drunk stranger wouldn’t take no for an answer and you glanced over to your table hoping to spot Kiefer. Your eyes flitted across the crowd looking for anyone who could help. You felt your stomach drop when you realised that no one was paying attention. 

“You heard her. She said no.” Quinn told him. What you didn’t realise in your panicked state was that Quinn was paying attention to you. His eyes followed you the entire time since you left the table. They always did when you went out. 

You weren’t listening as Quinn and the drunk stranger had words, your mind all over the place. You were confused. You knew that he would never let anything happen to you. Quinn wasn’t that kind of guy. What confused you was how he knew you were in trouble. He never looks at you or pays you any attention, his drink often the sole focus. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, bringing you out of your spiralling thoughts. “Want me to get Kiefer?” 

“Why did you do that?” You blurted out. You wanted to say thank you and move on but your brain had a different idea.

“You needed help?” Quinn replied, confused by your question.

“You hate me though.” You said, your voice quiet but Quinn heard you. He always heard you. 

“No, no Y/N I don’t hate you.” He was quick to assure you. “It’s just- I’m realising now that I’ve been so stupid lately, giving you the cold shoulder. I’m so sorry I ever made you feel like I hated you. I don’t hate you Y/N. I could never hate you.” Quinn, cupped your cheek gently and you allowed him, melting into his touch. “I was so scared you would be a distraction and you are. Not a bad distraction but a good one and I realise that’s okay. You remind me to smile more and have fun. You keep me grounded.”

“Oh Quinn.” 

“I understand if I’ve ruined everything.” He said, ashamed of his actions.

“You’ve not ruined anything.” You assured him, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.

[typicalopposite]

tongue tied

thank you @nine-one-wanton for the title 😂🫶

BuckTommy | E (eh.. maybe M+) | 4859 words

also on ao3!

Mortification… 

That still isn’t a strong enough emotion to describe what Buck is feeling at the moment. 

He glances down at Tommy and asks if he’s still okay. All Tommy can do is blink in response; once for yes, twice for no. Pretty much any movement causes them both pain… and the humiliation is bad enough without them being overly sore as well. 

Tommy slides a gentle hand over Bucks thigh, doing his best to smile up at him. He inhales deeply through his nose and blows it back out, adjusting how he’s sitting on his legs, having to keep himself up high enough so he doesn't accidentally tug on the rings— tangled together and seemingly inseparable. 

There’s a knock at the loft’s door, and Buck hears Bobby’s voice yell out to him. He looks down at Tommy and sighs. 

This was definitely not how the team was supposed to learn they made up.

****

(Two months earlier) 

Tommy sat in a small chair, waiting his turn at the tattoo and piercing parlor. It had been years since Tommy had worn his little hoop earrings in his ears. Yet when he pushed the curved bar through the hole— thinking maybe they would be closed up and he’d have to force them— they just slipped right in. 

He considered getting a second hole, maybe. A nose ring. A belly button ring… 

Was he being dramatic— I want to feel something beyond the heartache I have caused for myself… so I’m going to go have a needle jabbed through some part of my body— maybe… He would agree, too, that maybe it was a little juvenile… a little petty even, to ultimately settle on a piercing Ev- no… Buck had shown so much interest in. He’d talked about having blowjobs from girls with tongue rings in his ���Buck 1.0 days” (whatever that means); he said they were amazing. 

So now Tommy would have one, too… and he could give whoever the next guy he hooked up with amazing blow jobs. Take that memory of Buck that just wouldn’t leave! (in reality he knew he was fooling himself… He doubted there would ever be a next guy for him… Buck, however, would probably be getting plenty of better head from people way better than Tommy— whose knees don’t creak and ache after just a few short minutes on them, and who’s jaw hadn’t been shattered and wired shut in his teens so he can only hold it open for so long before it locks up.) 

He huffed angrily at the thought of someone else with Buck’s— with Evan's dick sitting heavy on their tongue; thrusting in and out, hitting the back of their throat. Someone else swallowing down every drop of his—

“Sir…” the receptionist said, thankfully interrupting his train of thought before he snapped his phone in half. “You’re up.” Tommy cleared his throat and thanked her, rubbing a hand over the heat climbing up his neck from embarrassment. 

He plopped down on the client chair and told the piercer what he wanted. He opted for the clear bar, and he had taken a (much needed) week off work; hopefully it would be healed by then. The woman gave him the instructions: sit up straight, stick out your tongue, please don’t try to grab my wrist. “People do that?” Tommy asked, around the clamp on his tongue, and she gave him an exhausted look. Sorry… he thought but didn’t say. 

He stuck his tongue out at himself in the bathroom mirror that night. It was swollen and very sore— it definitely didn’t make him feel better, but hey he’d always wanted to do something drastic. A tongue ring at forty counted… right? Yeah, it counted. He cleaned the piercing and went to bed. 

****

(One month earlier)

Buck wasn’t sure if this was just some Buck 1.0.2 phase or a very emotional based impulsive (probably stupid) decision resulting from his still broken heart. 

Still he was already there and had already put a deposit down; he might as well, right? 

He had come to the parlor alone, because… well, what would anyone he knows say about him doing something like this. Maybe if it was something simple like an ear piercing… or hell, even a tongue piercing. But this— this was not something his pseudo siblings or father figure would be on board tagging along to. Eddie was in El Paso… and he definitely wasn’t about to ask Maddie along.

The receptionist smiled at him, had him sign in, and told him to take a seat. 

He was early… Perhaps that had been a bad idea. His knee began to bounce and he fiddled with his fingers anxiously, staring around the parlor at the other clients ahead of him. Some laid back in the chairs getting tattooed— he should have just gotten another tattoo; what was he thinking— others getting any and every part of their body pierced. Most people were quiet. One lady in the back let out a scream so blood curdling Buck was about to get up and leave but—

“Sir! You're up!” 

Buck followed the piercer into one of the private rooms. The man was quiet and looked like he might bite Buck’s head off if given the chance. He instructed Buck to lower his pants, his boxers, and sit down on the pad covered seat. He did as he was told, and the seat was tilted back, putting him on full display thanks to the cold room. Why was he even doing this? Just because Tommy had said some guy he talked to before they even knew each other said he might get one? Was Buck really that shallow— that jealous?! 

“Alright, man… here we go.”

This was a bad idea. 

This was a bad idea.. 

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING!?! 

This was so stupid! So bad! Such an impulsive idea! 

“And done!” 

Buck blinked once… twice… and looked down towards where the man was already slipping his gloves off. He pulled his dick up towards his stomach so he could see the little silver hoop hooked through his frenulum. “Oh,” he said, thanked the guy, paid and went home. 

****

(Two days earlier) 

Tommy played with the flat top of his tongue ring; he slid it back and forth over his teeth, he pushed the bar out enough to bite down on, all while he tapped on his steering wheel to the beat of a song playing on the radio. He was nervous. 

And the thing was… he shouldn’t be. 

He was a big brave grown man— capable of doing big brave grown man things… like to have drinks with an ex, whom he’s very much not over. He would be fine. 

Except the only spot available was directly beside the Jeep. 

“Fucking mother fucker.” Tommy grumbled out loud and turned into the spot hoping that maybe he wouldn’t be— 

He was still sitting in the driver seat. 

Cock sucking, bitch ass… What kind of god damned luck?!? How could he come to his senses about the meeting and run away now? 

He sighed and put the truck in park, then turned to look at him. It was the very first time he’d laid eyes on the man— beyond the pictures and videos he couldn’t bring himself to delete from his phone— since he walked out of the loft. 

Evan.

Or… Buck, since he’d decided to go that route and really drive the break up home. 

“H- Hey…” Buck said as soon as the both were out of their vehicles. “Thanks for — for the invite.” 

Tommy stuffed his hand down in his pockets, and chewed on the flat top to his tongue ring. “Of course,” he finally said. “I, uh… I felt like we really needed to talk about…”

“Everything?” Buck finished. 

“Yeah,” Tommy nodded along. “Everything.” 

“Okay… well for starters—” Buck wasted no time jumping right in. “Don’t ever call me Buck again.” He stared at Tommy so seriously before his lips twitched up a bit and he added, “please.”

“Noted,” Tommy said and there was a pause like he was waiting for— “Evan…” Tommy added and Evan fully smiled at that; he seemed relieved. “Okay, what else.” 

Evan stepped towards him. Tommy had the slightest urge to step back, but even more of one to move closer— to reach out and grab him and cling like his life depended on it. Evan reached for him first. “Don’t ever make a decision like that for me again.” Tommy waited, his eyes searching Evan’s… trying to say without saying how sorry he was. Finally Evan leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Tommy’s. “If I had needed more time to figure myself out… if I wasn’t sure about this— that you were what I wanted. I wouldn’t have just strung you along until I did… okay?” 

“Okay.” Tommy wanted to say more. He thought, maybe, he should say more… but his voice was lodged somewhere deep in his throat and all he could focus on was how his lips were tingling from that kiss. Evan, like a damn mind reader, took the moment to lean back in, deepening the kiss and wasting no time slipping his tongue into Tommy’s mouth. He noticed almost immediately. 

“You got a tongue piercing?!” 

“I— uh, yeah…” 

Evan’s eyes lit up mischievously… his breathing hitches then speeds up… he leaned in for another kiss.

****

(One hour earlier)

Buck had been very mature about the fact Tommy now had a tongue ring. In fact… he was so mature about it, that he didn’t suggest they forget the drinks, and their plans to actually talk like level headed adults do… In fact, after just one more kiss— one more quick swipe of his tongue over the flat top of the bar— he pulled away from Tommy completely; minus their hands, which Evan promptly laced together as they walked into the bar. 

And they talked. 

They actually talked.

They opened up— more than he’d expected them to.

They cried. They laughed. They left a few hours later and were officially back together.

Buck remained mature, and didn’t offer (beg, plead, or bargain) to follow Tommy back to his place, or bring him back to the loft. He allowed the night to end with them parting ways, but with the promise there would be a next time— and plenty of times after that—  So Buck was fine with going home alone. 

But when Tommy arrived at the loft, a bottle of wine in hand, his curls styled nicely, and wearing the cologne that he knew Buck loved… the maturity went out the window. He tugged him in by the collar and crashed their lips together. Buck had asked him to put a regular bar in, one with the bigger metal ball. Tommy had laughed and made a bitchy little joke but as Buck’s tongue passed over the piercing he let his lips curl up into a pleased smirk to find Tommy had done as he’d asked. 

They wasted no time; Tommy’s fingers ran along the hem of Buck’s shirt while Buck hurriedly pushed Tommy’s button-down off of his shoulders. “There’s something you should know…” Buck says as they nearly tripped over each other getting up the stairs, pieces of their outfits falling off every couple steps. He leans in close to Tommy’s ear and whispers, “I got something pierced too…” then he falls back onto the bed, pants and boxers already gone and his cock standing straight up like it’s showing it’s new accessory off. 

Tommy’s eyes widen. His brows fly all the way up to his hairline. He crawls onto the bed and takes Buck in his hand, tilting him back to look at the piercing better. “It’s healed, right?” Buck nearly gives himself whiplash nodding. Tommy leans in and flicks the tip of his tongue over the hoop— over the little piece of skin it’s going through— and Buck sucks in a sharp breath. “Good?” Tommy asks. 

“Amazing!” 

“Okay, great…” Tommy says, then goes back to licking at the piercing and around the head, and down the shaft. All the while Buck is moaning and squirming. It shouldn’t be so over-stimulative but it’s been so long… he hasn’t— not like this— not since Tommy. “Missed you; missed this…” Tommy says between licking down Buck’s cock and sucking the tip into his mouth, which only seems to make it so much more sensitive. 

Buck’s toes curl as Tommy takes him all the way down. And, God, how he has missed that. Buck whimpers and lets his hands move up into Tommy’s curls; messing them up, sure, but he doesn’t care. Tommy bobs his head, making sure to flatten his tongue and let the ball rub over Buck with every slide down and back up, and it feels just as amazing as Buck remembered— it feels even better, actually. 

Tommy moves Buck’s legs further apart so he can settle on the bed more. He flicks his eyes up to meet Buck’s and smiles around his cock, lining himself up so the ball goes over the hoop. It’s— well it’s mind blowing…

…at first. 

Tommy gets a little too into it. 

Probably due to the completely wanton noises pouring out of Buck’s mouth. He slides down all the way to the bottom, presses his tongue against the underside so the ball is pressed into the tender skin and starts to slide back up. He reaches the hoop… and somehow the ball just pops through it. 

Buck thinks he’s really just thankful Tommy caught the mishap immediately… without trying to pull off— so fucking thankful. 

“Uhh…” is all Tommy can manage. He holds himself up with one arm and brings the other up to try to get a finger in his mouth, to the where they are quite literally linked together. He can’t. 

And just like that… Buck’s pride in his size disappears. 

****

Tommy tries to move his tongue, ever so gently so he doesn't tug at the ring, but it’s useless. He wants to cry. He looks up at Evan… who is looking down at him… and looks terrified, and he can’t shake his head so he just sighs. “You have got to be joking… Tommy, what do we do?!” 

Tommy knows what they have to do… and he knows Evan knows what they have to do. 

“We can’t! Tommy, Maddie is at work! What if she takes the call?” He waits for a second like he’s expecting Tommy to answer, he can only blink back. “A- And I’m in the 118’s district… oh my god…” Now Evan looks ready to cry, and Tommy can’t even properly hold him about it. He runs his hand up Evan’s side, hoping it does something to soothe him. “Maybe if… if I can just get soft…” he suggests. Tommy shrugs, he doubts it but he doesn’t blame Evan for not wanting to call… this absolute disaster… in. 

So they wait. 

And wait.

And wait…

Drool starts to pool in Tommy’s mouth and he tries to swallow it as carefully as he can. His throat spasms, and Evan hisses, and Tommy makes a wounded noise by means of apologizing. To make matters worse, not that Evan’s erection had gone down much sitting in Tommy’s mouth… but the tightening of his throat from swallowing definitely didn’t help. They are doomed, he fears.

He looks up at Evan and tries to lighten the mood with a smile, and Evan manages to smile back, before dropping his head to his pillow and letting out a pitiful sob. 

Tommy knows they can’t sit here forever. He taps Evan’s leg and points to Evan’s pants that are the closest to the bed. Carefully they shimmy together, over to the edge, until Tommy slides off the bed, stretching out his leg to pull the pants over to him. He sits himself on his legs and pulls out the phone. Evan still seems hesitant so Tommy grunts around him and puts the phone in his hand. 

“Okay, fine.” 

Thank you, Tommy thinks and sighs. He slowly moves his tongue, still trying to find a way to pop the ball back through the hoop, but it’s just no use. He brings an arm up and uses it to prop up his head, and listens as Evan types in the dreaded numbers. 

He puts it on speaker and rests his body back on his free arm. “9-1-1 what is the location of your emergency…” Tommy watches Evan inhale deep and let out a long drawn out sigh. He gives his address, and immediately the dispatcher gasps. “Buck?” 

“Hey Josh…” 

****

“What's going on, are you okay?” Josh asks, eyes flicking up to look at Maddie who is in the middle of her own call and hasn’t yet heard her brother's name. 

“Well… define okay.” 

“Do you need medical assistance? I can send your team—”

“No!” Josh’s mouth snaps shut at the urgency in Buck’s voice. “Not— Not them… and Josh… please don’t tell Maddie you’re talking to me.” 

Josh glances back up at Maddie, and sighs. “Okay…” he says slowly; quizzically. “So what’s going on?” 

“Me and Tommy are stuck… together.” Josh waits for more, but his first panicked thought is that there has been some accident at Buck’s loft. 

“A- Are you— either of you hurt?” 

“Not… exactly. Just stuck.” 

“Like… in the elevator?” Josh pries, since Buck is giving him very little information. 

“I wish…” Buck groans, and Josh hears a muffled snort. “No, we're inside my apartment.” 

Josh tries to run through where they could be stuck in the small loft… He comes up with nothing, And Buck has gone silent. “Okay, look… I have no idea what’s going on, or how to help you, so I’m going to need you to give me a little more details beyond just ‘We’re stuck’.” 

Nothing— Nothing!!— could have prepared Josh for what Buck just blurts out next. 

“Tommy’s tongue ring is stuck through my dick ring…” 

Of course that’s the moment Maddie decides to look up at him. Her brows furrow and she mouths what’s wrong? Josh is pretty sure he resembles a deer in headlights, and he might have forgotten how to speak beyond a startled, “Oh…”

There’s a pause and Buck speedruns Josh through a quick explanation of what has happened, that Josh can only mmhmm back too, biting his lips between his teeth to stop them from curling upward and trying to figure out exactly how to word this in the notes to whoever he sends to… help. (33 and 40 year old males. No serious injuries. Unable to come to the door… prepare to be scandalized— he doesn’t add that last part)

Maddie is still just staring at him with a progressively getting more worried look. Finally she takes her earpiece off and starts towards him. Shit… he thinks, then quickly sends the 133 with a final note that an ambulance will possibly be needed. “What’s going on, Josh…” Maddie asks, looking at his screen. She immediately recognizes Buck’s address, gasps and grabs Josh's earpiece. “Buck?! Buck, are you okay? Are you hurt?” 

Josh watches the voice recorder from the call and it doesn’t move. “M- Maddie listen…” he tries, and reaches for the earpiece back; Maddie slaps his hand in return. 

Her eyes frantically move over the screen, furrowing as she tries to decipher what the notes could mean. She comes to the unit responding, and scoffs. “Why would you send the 133, Josh… the 118 is closer!” And Josh can do no more than run a hand down his face, and continue to bite back the laugh that has been threatening to break free since Buck explained the actual situation. “Buck I’m sending the 118 to you… everything’s going to be okay.” Her mouth pulls down into a worried frown. “Are you there? Can you please say something…” 

****

“Th- Thanks Mads…” is all Buck can think to say. 

Tommy’s eyes widen, and he finds Buck's hand to hold it. 

“What’s going on…” Maddie continues to press. “Is— is Tommy with you? Is he hurt? Buck, do I need to go there?”

“Please, no!” Buck cries out. “I’m… fine. It’s fine. We’re— we’re fine. R- Right Tommy?” He squeezes his eyes shut realizing Tommy can’t agree. 

He does manage a garbled “Uh huh,” though… (To which Buck hears Josh snort then quickly clear his throat.) 

“I, uh… I’m gonna hang up now…” Buck says, then before Madie can say anything he adds, “I swear I’m— we’re really okay. I promise.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I— I’m sure…” he tells her, hangs up and throws his head back with a loud groan. Tommy sighs around him and moves the hand propping up his head and rubs at his jaw, reminding Buck of the reason Tommy never drags out his blowjobs. “Fuck! Tommy your jaw,” he says, and moves Tommy’s hand to rub over the spot himself. “A- and your knees have to be killing you!” Tommy shrugs and leans his face into Buck’s hand. “Is this at least helping,” he asks; Tommy cocks a brow, and his lips curl up into a smirk. “Oh my god… blink once for yes twice for no,” he groans, laughing only when Tommy blinks once. 

Which brings them back to the present. Bobby yells that they are coming in and the only silver lining is that Bobby has a key so they don’t have to break his door in. Something taps Buck’s leg and it’s his phone that Tommy has typed up a message on. 

pocket knife. cut off my tongue. I’ll go out the window.

That startles a laugh out of Buck… which is immediately followed by a pained hiss from them both. The front door opens and Buck groans. “Up here…” he says, and they both listen as the entire team— hell it sounds like the entire station— files in. 

Tommy whimpers when Chimney calls out, jokingly asking if Buck’s decent, and grabs the blanket to pull over his head. 

“Alright Buck what’s… going… on…” Bobby says, first to get up the stairs— his worried look melts away and is replaced by something akin to absolute horror, which Buck 100% gets. 

“What on earth…” Hen gawks as she comes up behind Bobby. 

Buck feels like his face is about to catch on fire, and Tommy hasn’t moved since covering his head— so he has either convinced himself if he doesn’t move they can’t see him… or he has died. 

“Is that Tommy?!” Chimney blurts out, looking around Hen and Bobby, who both slowly turn and look back at him.

Chimney shrugs. “What? I can appreciate nice features without it meaning anything, thank you very much.” He moves past her and gestures at Tommy’s backside. “And when you got it you got it…” Tommy makes a choked off noise— so, at least that means he’s not dead… 

“Wait so is it really Tommy?” Ravi calls from the bottom of the stairs. Buck doesn’t answer… which is enough of an answer in and of itself. 

Bobby turns back to Buck, rolling his eyes at the others. He sighs. “Okay, what exactly is going on here, Buck.” 

Before he can even think up a decent answer, Tommy twitches, stiffens and then pulls his hand up to scratch at his nose. He grunts, and takes a deep breath, and Buck watches in horror as it finally clicks what exactly Tommy is doing under the blanket. “This has got to be a prank,” Hen says, pulling off her glasses and covering her eyes. “Buck… tell me this is a prank.” 

Tommy continues to squirm and finally while holding his nose to suppress it, he sneezes. Buck yelps and Tommy mumbles incoherent apologies. The loft falls completely quiet; all eyes are now on him, waiting for an explanation. 

His phone rings first, and he expects it to be Maddie… but it’s Eddie— and he doesn’t need to deal with that— so he sends it to voicemail. 

Then Tommy’s phone starts to vibrate down stairs. “Ignore it,” Buck instructs when Ravi asks if he wants it brought up to them. 

About a second after it stops, Chimney's phone rings and he answers without hesitation, putting it on FaceTime.

“Oh… oh my god!” Eddie gasps. “You two didn’t…” he sounds like he’s crying and sucks in a breath. “You two idiots didn’t… did you?!” Buck glares at Chimney, but he is unfazed, turning the camera for Eddie to see them. “You did!” 

“I’m so lost,” Chimney says, looking at Bobby.

Hen is still covering her face and shaking her head. 

“These two—”

“Eddie…” Buck pleads— but really… What's the use in hiding details? “Whatever…” he groans and turns his eyes to the ceiling, and Eddie shares what he knows.

And apparently, he knows everything. 

So Buck wasn’t the only one who went to Eddie about his impulse body modification. Tommy had told him too— he texted Eddie after learning of his move to El Paso, and it just slid its way into the conversation. 

“How did you even find out about this?” Buck groans.

“Josh told me.” 

“Oh, but he couldn’t tell us so we knew what we were about to walk in on…” Hen says bitterly. 

“And since when do you and Josh talk?” Buck adds. 

“That is my business,” Eddie quips back. “You all  have fun with… yours.” He wiggles his fingers at them, laughs again, and ends the call. 

Chimney and Hen give each other strained looks, both clearly trying to hold it together. Bobby takes a deep breath, resting his hands on his hips and stares down at Buck. “Okay well we— we need to get you two… separated—” His lips tremble and he tries to stop the laugh but it bubbles out anyway. That's all the motive Hen and Chimney need to both double over. Even Ravi is laughing down stairs. 

Tommy makes a pained noise and Buck knows he has to be hurting from sitting like this for so long. “Yeah, yeah… laugh it up. Can we please figure out how to actually do that?” 

“Well we have to see what we’re dealing with first,” Hen says, grabbing the blanket without warning and lifting it up. “Oh my god…” she nearly chokes, and has to walk down stairs to compose herself. 

Yeah mortification was definitely not a strong enough word. 

It only takes the team five minutes to get them separated— Buck is sure it will take a lifetime to live it down. 

****

“Are you sure you don’t want to go in and get checked out?” Bobby asks; Tommy just shakes his head and puts his hand over Evan’s, where he is holding a frozen bag of peas against his jaw. “Alright,” he gives them both a smile— it looks more uncomfortable than when he was given the medal of valor at the ceremony. “You, uh— you two…” he looks between Tommy and Evan. “Well, I’m glad you… worked things out.” 

“That’s one way to describe what happened here tonight,” Chimney says, smiling smugly at the both of them.

Hen comes up beside Tommy and lays a hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s safe to say you can definitely keep up.” Tommy slowly lifts his eyes to her and she can’t hold back the laughter. “Maybe a little too well— you might wanna slow down actually.” 

“Uhm, what— what does that mean?” Evan leans in and asks; again… Tommy just shakes his head. 

Ravi hands Evan the little baggie the two rings were put in once they were removed. He doesn’t say anything, and just leaves. He pulls the door shut behind him, and then they are left alone, embarrassed, and sore in their respective affected areas. 

Evan holds the bag up and sighs. “That was… something.” 

“Yeah…” Tommy laughs, finally feeling like he can move his jaw again without it popping. “Next time, maybe we don’t go with the ball and hoop combo. 

“N- Next time?” Evan furrows his brow but his lips are already curling up at the corners. 

Tommy shrugs and grabs Evan’s hand pulling it to his lips. “If I have learned anything lately… it’s the importance of giving things another chance…” 

Evan’s smile widens. “Wow. That was— just wow...” he laughs and pulls Tommy into a kiss; he winces when just the slight movement hurts. “I’m sorry about your jaw, and your knees.” 

“I’m sorry about your… frenulum,” Tommy replies and Evan snorts. “Now I can’t finish what I started…” 

They both pout at that… for just a moment. “Yeah, b- but… my jaw doesn’t hurt,” Evan says with a suggestive smirk. “And your dick doesn’t hurt…” He bites his lip and tugs on Tommy’s hand to stand him up.

“This is true…” Tommy states. 

“So maybe we can finish what we started after all…” Evan leans in and brushes his lips over Tommy’s then turns and heads for the stairs, Tommy right behind him, and the silver hoop and tongue ring left behind on the table for next time. 

[genderqueerdykes]

In regards to "trans men pass better"...

I went to ask for a bathroom key from the attendant at the laundromat, and he looked at me and said "For... The men's room?"

Like I still get misgendered, have a full beard and am 2 years post-top surgery. I'm short and I feel like I can't wear anything feminine anymore because if I do the misgendering gets worse. In everyone's opinions around me, I look cisgender. Yet there's always some asshat out there that can't seem to grasp that I'm a man. How is that possible? I've been transitioning since the tail end of 2021. I have another friend in the same boat as me who has been on T even longer. I actually get misgendered the most when wearing basketball shorts and a hoodie. I'm starting to think about wearing a packer, it's the only thing I don't currently do because fuck you for looking at my crotch.

Anyways just wanted to express frustration and hopefully people will begin to understand that we do not have it easy.

thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask, that is exactly why i've been publishing these stories, because i want people to understand it can be downright impossible for some trans men and transmascs to pass and it's not their fault. i'm sorry you've gone through this, but i hope that if we keep exposing the truth, it'll be easier to get people to understand it's not that black and white.

trans men & mascs don't pass easier.

[lexirosewrites]

Hiii I don’t usually go here, but I have had a few Disjointed Thoughts(™) for like WEEKS and I finally decided to share on this, the most holy (hole-y, hah) of days, Slick Sunday.

SO. O!Steve, A!Eddie, shocking. Steve is excruciatingly aware that, physically? He’s not really the Ideal Omega, at least by societal standards. Or his parents’ standards. Or his own, if he lets himself think about it too much, but that’s why he simply Does Not Think About It. Emotionally, he’s pretty solid. He absolutely loves his forcibly-adopted, feral, teenage pups. He’s excited to have his own one day, and to have an Alpha who loves him and their pups. He is always taking care of somebody, particularly the people he cares about, and most of the time it’s not even a conscious choice.

Physically, though?

Physically, he’s taller than an omega usually is. He spent so much time doing sports before he presented, and then after to keep up the image. Plus, let's be honest, he's absolutely keeping himself in shape and strong enough to defend/protect his little chosen pack. No matter how he or other people might feel about it, nothing is as important as keeping everyone safe, even after the UD is taken care of.

He and Eddie have been getting close, though. Eddie made enough anti-secondary-gender-roles speeches in school that Steve's pretty sure he won't mind that Steve is more invested in keeping them all safe than playing the part of “good little omega.” He was certainly impressed when Steve had to bite a bat in the Upside Down, and that's not very Omegan. The problem is, Eddie is such a perfect Alpha. Robin always makes a face when he says it, but Steve can feel it in his soul. Eddie is loud, exuberant, fiercely loyal, and protective of anyone who might need it, particularly when he cares about them. He's good with his hands, between his guitars and tinkering with his van when it has a new issue every month. He bickers with Wayne constantly over bills, trying to get his uncle to let him help more, leaving stray bills in Wayne's pockets when he loses the argument.

If Eddie can be such a good Alpha, Steve can try and be a better Omega, just a little. He does tone his more Alpha-like tendencies down a little, just to be safe- doesn't bring up playing sports/working out as much when Eddie's around, asks Eddie to help move things instead of just doing it himself, lets other people grab stuff from high shelves rather than volunteering himself. It seems to be going well, all things considered. He and A!Robin (who knows about the Omega-image issues, but not that he's been playing a bit more of the helpless Omega for Eddie, because she absolutely wouldn't approve) are sure Eddie's going to ask him to start courting any day now, really!!

To hopefully kick-start the process, Steve eagerly volunteers to help Wayne with some manual labor. Something with the siding of the trailer; it won’t be difficult, but it'll be a lot easier with two people. He'd have helped anyway, of course, but he's very aware that Eddie is devoted to his uncle and wants him taken care of. Surely, if there's anything that would outweigh any distaste from the non-Omega-like behavior, it's helping Wayne. The day of, though, he's on a ladder (Wayne is holding the ladder steady; Steve threw a hissy fit when he tried to go up himself), hammering in the last couple nails when Eddie gets home.

Normally, Eddie seems ecstatic to see Steve in any scenario- at one of their houses, after Hellfire to take the kids home, the few times they've passed each other in the grocery store- but when Steve looks over to say hi, he doesn't look… pleased. He actually looks kind of. Angry? Maybe? His eyes are blank, not filled with the warmth he's used to. His mouth is pressed together in a thin line, jaw clenched.

Steve has gotten pretty good at reading Eddie, knows his facial expressions like the back of his hand, but this is new. New and not happy. It makes him self-conscious, make him want to jump off the ladder and go beg forgiveness from his Alpha for whatever he did, but Steve pushes it down. He's got a job to finish, and if that face is directed at him for too long there's a good chance he's going to start whining- or worse, crying. Eddie gets back in his van immediately, though, driving off who knows where. Steve tells himself he was probably just having a bad day, and didn't want company. That's just a thing that happens. Nothing immediately to do with Steve, surely, and Wayne doesn't seem bothered so it's fine. Definitely.

A few days pass, and the party are all at Steve's house. The pups (who are nearly grown, now, but that doesn't stop them from being Steve's Pups, okay?) are mostly in the pool. The technically-adults are enjoying the sun and calling out warnings when the play-fighting gets a little too rough. Steve and Lucas are practicing basketball a few feet away, trying to nail a particular, super impressive move that even Steve can only do with about 40% accuracy. (I don't know basketball, I'm sure something like this has to exist though, right??? Indulge me lol) The two of them have been at it all summer, to better Lucas’ chance of getting varsity next school year.

Then Lucas nails it. Absolutely picture-perfect form, better than even Steve has ever done it. And they go NUTS. Everyone is looking over, confused but generally amused at their antics. Steve is so proud that he doesn't even think about it, just lifts Lucas up so he's sitting on one of Steve's shoulders, so Steve can hold him up with one arm and gesture wildly with the other while parading Lucas around, explaining exactly why this is so impressive to the non-athletes.

Except. Then he happens to look over at Eddie. And it's the face from the other day. Closer now, he can see that Eddie's knuckles are white where they're clenched around his beer bottle. Steve still can't get a read on it, and Eddie hasn't been in the pool yet so the scent blocker is keeping Steve from being able to tell what's the matter. Again, Steve's first instinct is to figure out what he did, how he can be better. But this is Eddie. He's probably just bitter about a sports thing interrupting whatever nerd conversation he was probably having, and he'll get over it quickly. Besides, Lucas deserves his moment.

Eddie is fine the rest of the night, and it doesn't come up, so Steve manages to mostly forget about it. But a week or two later, Steve is dropping Max off at home after physical therapy, and she's clearly too tired and exhausted for the stairs but she'll never admit it. Steve moves slowly, telegraphing his intentions as obviously as he can to give her an out, but she doesn't take it. So he picks her up, gently as possible, and carries her up the steps, grabbing her crutches as well.

He doesn't push it, even if his Omega would be thrilled to bring her in and make sure she gets settled and drinks some water, because it'd make her uncomfortable and this is already a lot. They don't talk about it, they just say their goodbyes and Steve goes to drive home. He glances over at the Munson's trailer, purely out of habit, and in the window is Eddie. With the same facial expression as before. He turns away from the window before Steve can react, and the curtain is pulled.

Steve has the whole way home to question this, and the only similarity between the two events that could have caused that face is… Steve being too Alpha-like. The manual labor, carrying the pups around. He's too strong, too big. He's not a good Omega, and his Alph- Eddie, who isn't his Alpha yet and maybe now never will be- Eddie doesn't like it. He drops. Hard. He's not sure how he makes it back to his house, or inside. The next thing he knows, he's sitting next to the phone, Robin's voice coming distant but frantic from where it's dangling by the cord next to him.

Then she's there, in front of him. Worried, clearly, but Steve can't bring himself to do anything about it. He just stares. Time passes, clearly, because at some point he finds himself in his own bed, nest haphazarly built up around him where someone presumably tried to make it bigger without disturbing anything, staring blankly at the ceiling with Robin pressed against him.

His face is wet.

His eyes hurt.

Oh. He's been crying.

He remembers why.

His breath catches, and it's enough to get Robin's attention. She scrambles up, holding his face while she takes exaggerated breaths. He matches her breathing until he's sure they're past the risk of hyperventilating. He tells her everything- not just the times Eddie has seemed upset, but every time he's tried to be better, to be less, every time he's questioned if it would ever be enough. She clearly wants to comment, but she lets him get it all out first. When it's clear he's done, she bundles him in her arms. Calls him a dingus, so he'll crack a smile. They slowly transfer back down the stairs, curling up in a mass of limbs in front of the tv to watch whatever they can find without getting up.

Steve drives her home around midnight, knowing she has work tomorrow and he's got the day off. He swears he's fine, that he'll call if something changes. He waves her off, drives away, and heads in the opposite direction of home. He's okay for now, but if he goes home, he'll think about how empty it is, how he may never have an Alpha to help him fill the space and the quiet, and he won't be okay for long.

He ends up at the quarry. Still quiet, and he's still alone, but at least it's intentional here. He's not exactly watching the clock, but he's only idly thrown a handful of rocks down into the water when he hears a noise he could pick out anywhere. Eddie's van is pulling up, faster even than the ridiculous speeds he usually does. The gravel flies up as he slams on breaks, and the headlights are still fading out when Eddie throws himself out the door.

He hurries towards Steve, and when he's close enough, he drops to his knees. Steve tries to ask, tries to pull him up because that can't be good for Eddie's knees, especially when he's clearly in his pajamas and some untied shoes but Eddie grabs his hand and holds it in both of his own. Trips over his words as he tries to explain, rambles that Robin had called him after she got home, that Eddie had immediately run out the door, went to the house first and then drove around to find Steve.

Steve can feel the shame heating his cheeks, prickling in his gut. He's already mentally cursing Robin's overprotective nature. Of course she'd immediately tried to defend him. She'd probably told Eddie off, something embarrassing about leading him on or believing too much in gender roles despite his own nonconformity or whatever else. Steve tries to pull his hand away, but Eddie's got a firm grip and pleading eyes, and Steve's Omega is too desperate for some approval after his drop earlier to try too hard.

Eddie looks like he's tearing up, and Steve is too caught off guard by this whole thing to hold back the whine it pulls out of him. Even if he's hurt, seeing Eddie upset almost hurts his Omega more than anything else. Eddie's eyes go wide, and he surges to his feet, pressing Steve's hand to his chest and letting a reassuring rumble answer. Steve hates himself a little bit for how much it does calm him down.

Eddie rushes to explain. He's in love with Steve. He thinks Steve's easily the best Omega he's ever met, loves how much he cares for the people around him and protects their pups (Steve tries valiantly to ignore how his heart skips a beat at it being THEIR pups. He fails). The face Steve has been seeing has been Eddie straining to keep his Alpha from begging to bond with Steve on sight. Eddie wanted to court him, wanted to take it slow and romance him and do things properly because Steve deserves it, not ask Steve to have his babies in front of all their friends.

He's been waiting to ask, has been making Steve his own battle jacket since he'd liked Eddie's in the Upside Down as a first courting gift. Apparently, tracking down patches for artists Steve likes is a lot harder than finding patches for Eddie's favorites, and hand-sewing them all on has taken even longer. It's everything Steve could have ever hoped to want and so much more, and Eddie's not wearing any scent blockers, so underneath the heady smell of leather and comfort and Eddie, Steve can tell he's being honest.

The misunderstandings are forgiven. They start courting immediately, and Eddie gives him his own vest to wear as an IOU until Steve's is done. Robin is very mildly scolded for spilling Steve's business, which is cancelled out by the grin on Steve's face as he does it and the hug she tackles him in immediately after says she doesn't regret a thing. It's okay, though. Neither does Steve.

-irrelevantbutembarrassing

chomping on insecure omega Steve because he’s so biteable💕

[bethebesttoyou]

Shiver - Choi Yeonjun

synopsis: Yeonjun and Y/N just can't let each other go.

pairing: College student! Yeonjun x college student! Reader

song: Shiver by Lucy Rose (I was way too young to be listening to just sad songs in middle school)

warnings: suggestive writing again,,,(does it seem like im slowly getting close to writing smut? IDK),,, lovers to exes to ??? to exes,,, ANGST NO HAPPY ENDING (it breaks my heart might have to do a part 2 FNKDS) not much dialogue again, just inner workings of reader who can't let yeonjun go, kinda like right person, wrong time... kinda cheesy ending cause we have fun here... OH NOT EDITED EITHER AHAHA

Wc: 1.8k (I wanted it to be longer T_T, maybe part two coming soon???)

A/N: Ive been writing in means of distracting myself from the reality that is our world rn, and its been really helpful...Ive also been feeling all down about my writing in general but I don't want to give up!!! I want to keep getting better!!! So ima keep just writing... hopefully down the line I get to see the growth ANYWAYS....

“What’s wrong?” Yeonjun breathes out, his hot breath hitting your face, glazed eyes of lust watching you intensely. 

He had just shown up, like he usually did, and his hands began to slowly make their way under your shirt before you stopped them breaking the hypnotic spell of his kiss. 

It was easy to forget with him pressing into you like this. To forget about the break up, the fact that it no longer was meant to mean anything other than another night together. To you, the kisses were still laced with love, with passion that were left over from the years spent together. You already knew that he was mirroring your love and emotions with his hands caressing your hips, the way he knew his way around your body, kissing where it mattered, touching where it mattered. 

It was hard to move on. Hard to give up on every feeling he evoked in you, well because… this was Yeonjun. The very same Yeonjun that asked you out in 9th grade, with a cheesy note and nervous smile, the same one that took you to all the school dances and school trips. The Yeonjun that can make you laugh, cry, and desire all with his own vocabulary. He was the same guy you grew up with, he felt familiar, he felt like home. He was the one and only Yeonjun that could ever make you feel this wanted, this needed, this loved. 

The one and only Yeonjun, the one you no longer had.

Not anymore. Not really. 

Things had gotten complicated towards the end of the relationship. Young couples often face these common complexities of individual growth, individual paths, college and the opinions of friends and families. And while you thought your relationship with Yeonjun was strong enough to sustain these challenges, believing that the years spent together only added to the strong will of your love,  nothing could’ve prepared you for the sudden distance, the change in goals, the shift in thinking, the shift in priorities. It was obvious what the issues had been. But you had pushed them down, buried deep enough to be convinced that time would fix it. So while you were good at pretending that everything had been normal and fine, it was Yeonjun that had visibly carried this boulder in his chest, the boulder heavy to the point that he had to sit you down and bring up the undeniable truth. You were drifting apart, bad. Arguments no longer lasted an hour, but days, schedules were no longer syncing, dates were being forgotten or willingly canceled, communication and keeping up with each other became rare and the voiced opinions of friends were starting to question the ethics in high school sweethearts.  

With ache filled hearts, you both knew it was the end. The love never faltered, but time did and your lives were no longer in the same rhythm, your heart, while still beating for one another, no longer to the same young love beat. So with mutual understanding and a night full of sobs and goodbye kisses, you deemed your seven year relationship to be over. Or at least that's what was supposed to happen. 

The entire idea was to give each other the space needed to grow and find yourselves, to explore the world of independence, the world of your 20’s, and the brain understood that concept, it made sense. You were both young and hadn't really figured out life, but your hearts, filled with years of history and love, branded with memories of your past, were not getting the hang of it, not just yet. Even with the ending of your relationship being meant to create a fresh start for the both of you, nothing stopped either of you from texting each other, meeting for ‘friendly’ coffees, meeting up at night, when your roommates were asleep, sneaking him in. That's what got you here now. 

Nine months after the break up, he's in your hallway, pushing you against the wall in the middle of the night. And you weren't going to lie, you were obsessed with the feeling. Yet, you knew deep down, this was only hurting you both more.There was never any talk about getting back together, in fact there was never any talking about this aspect of your friendship?relationship? Whatever it was. When you were around your mutual high school friends, it was as though these nights never happened, it was as if you both were silently agreeing that this was merely sex. Merely a way of getting your needs taken care of. 

But it felt like an excuse. In your head, you convinced yourself that this was okay, because who else knew you like this, knew your body and what you needed, before and after? And you knew he felt the same, when his soft moans and grunts escaped his mouth, when he would beg to hear your own soft moans and whines again and again. 

The discussion and acknowledgement of what this was,would have only made things more real. More complicated, and like true Yeonjun and Y/N fashion, you ignored all of that. You would ignore his love filled eyes, the constant electrical current his touch possessed, the way his touch would have you shivering in anticipation, you would ignore the slips of ‘I love you’s from his mouth when he was on top of you. And he seemed to ignore all of your soft ‘baby’s’ and pleads, ignoring your single tears and would silently cradle you after, seeming to understand, yet never actually bringing it up. 

Because, neither of you had not been ready, and maybe you still weren't, but things had been changing, life still existed outside of him, and you weren't sure you could keep this up anymore. 

It was only recently that your friends suggested dating again. The thought itself made your stomach twist in guilt and fear. Your friends had known about this toxic stance you were in with Yeonjun, this idea that you were still each other’s, even if you weren't. And unlike you, they were worried about this deeply rooted attachment, considering it more obsessive, more out of comfortability than actual love. So even with your desperate rejections, they set you up. And when you suggested the idea of not showing up, they looked at you with concern filled eyes: 

“Y/N, you have the chance to grow into the best version of yourself…don't let him keep you stuck here.” 

 It was in that moment then, looking up at him, when he had brought a hand up to gently caress the softness of your cheek, that you understood.

 You knew they were right. And yet, a terribly hard pill to swallow. This didn't just apply to you, but to him too. You both had so many plans, goals, dreams. You both were only getting in the way of that, both keeping each other connected by the willfulness of your hearts. This love was too big for the both of you, and it was sucking the life, the happiness out of you.You loved him, you always did, always will. So much so, that you knew he deserved the same chance at an experience of life, without this weighing on him, without you pulling him back, just like you did.

“I can't do this anymore.” You whispered back finally, a tear hitting his thumb, and you weren't shocked when he sighed, before nodding, like he had known. That was another thing about Yeonjun you had loved,he always just knew. 

You embarked in this minute of silence, both of you letting it settle, the room was dimly lit, but you were still able to make out his disheveled hair, his freshly kissed lips, and the tears that flooded the lining of his eyes. Neither of you hid them, neither felt the need too. Your heart fights this feeling of relief, and Yeonjun looks up at you and smiles softly before motioning to the front door. 

“Do you remember orientation night?” He asked, once he was out the door. The fresh wind sweeps up a pair of leaves from the floor, and you both watch as the leaves dance around each other, before flying off. You smile. 

“I do.” 

Orientation night was hell. The world had been against you, you had been picked on by the orientation leaders, your dorm mates didn't seem like they were going to be good dorm mates at all, and to make it worse, you were in a new city, an hour away from Yeonjun’s college. You had decided to suffer in silence that night until he called, and just with the sound of his voice, you couldn't help but blubber out everything that went wrong. He listened and cooed, trying to relax your sobs, you heard the sound of an ignition turning on in the back. As you suspected, he made it to the front of your dorms in the next hour, already extending his arm for an embrace. At this time, the distance was still new and unfamiliar to both of you, no longer living in the same city, no longer having the same group of friends. You're no longer crying as dramatically as before, yet he still held you tightly in his chest, the smell of his cologne calming you greatly. 

“Ima just give up and go home. Maybe I'm not made for college life.” You sigh. 

“Hey, you are definitely not going back home. Youre gonna go back in there and tell your dorm mates to be nice or fuck off, and then youre gonna go tomorrow and say the same thing to those asshole leaders.” he rubs your back. 

“No…” you sigh again, “I'm not gonna do that. I want to actually make friends, and I want my dorm mates to actually like me.” 

“I'm your friend.”

“You also live an hour away.” 

“So? Nothing can keep me away from you.” He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead. 

“I wish I only had to deal with you and your antics…I miss you.” 

I miss you too… Do you want me to talk to those leaders?” 

“No but thanks.” 

“Y/N…” you had been closing your eyes until he called, “I will always have your back. Always. You always have a friend, never hesitate to call him. He loves you, forever.” he finally attaches his lips to yours, quickly pecking your lips before pecking the rest of your face. 

“I meant every word.” he says softly, grabbing your hands, “I'm always your friend and I love you, forever.” 

“I love you too, forever.” And when he reaches to rub the tear off your cheek again, you chuckle to suppress the sniffle. 

If your heart had not been enclosed in your chest, it would have been dragged by the last few strings attached to his, instead all you felt was the frantic pull, the desperate call for him to come back, and he must feel it too cause he turns back to you, already at the edge of the driveway. 

“If I ever get you back in my arms, I will never let you go again.” 

“Is that a threat?” You laughed already walking back to the door. He smiles upon seeing your smile, one last time. 

“A promise.” 

A/N: YAYAYAYAAY you made it to the end!!! Thank you so much for reading!!! I wanted to make this super angsty and I hope I tugged at the heart even just a pluck :3 Anyways, as always please let me know how you liked it, my asks are open for any requests as well!! Also let me know if you think I should do a small update (read: part 2) on yeonjun and y/n, maybe seeing each other again /.\ Thank you again!! :3

[jackiespurnell]

locked inside your heart shaped box - part one (no crash au jackie taylor x natalie scatorccio)

summary: jackie's the hot, popular homecoming queen that everybody adores. she's destined to be the perfect housewife, but all her plans change a bit when tough burnout natalie scatorccio moves to wiskayok. cue the drama, the romance, and the sudden realization that maybe jackie isn't as straight as she thought...

tw: none (for now)

────୨ৎ────────

if you asked jackie taylor what her favorite part about summer was, she would probably pick her family’s vacation to the hamptons. and then she’d immediately change her answer to her 17th birthday party. and then she might turn around and say when they got the pool installed in the backyard. in fact, the only thing jackie didn’t enjoy was the three-day long camping trip she took with her parents. it was supposed to be a fun learning experience for her. the only thing jackie learned was that she was not built for the wilderness.

so, yeah, summer was pretty good. and while she’s sad to have to trade in days at the beach for days in a trig classroom, she can’t help but be excited. it was her first day of senior year! the year of all the opportunities. senior trips, college credit classes, big dances, graduations. and hopefully - the year her soccer team would make it to nationals.

the last day of her junior year was a big one. coach martinez had pulled her aside after soccer practice and while jackie was scared shitless that she was going to get kicked off the team for something (her shoes were a different color than the mandated black or white - her blue sneakers were just so cute). he had informed her that he’s going to make her senior year captain. He said something about her not being fastest, or having the best footwork, and a bunch of other things that sounded suspiciously like insults but jackie didn’t care, because she was going to be the fucking team captain. definitely better than being kicked off the team.

so, yeah, jackie was excited.

jackie checks her hair and makeup in the mirror one last time, and then heads downstairs. she slips on her favorite pair of shoes, - red heels, to match with the dress her grandparents picked out with her - grabs her bag and heads out the door, ready to start a brand new day at wiskayok high. its gonna be fun jackie reassures herself. after all - why wouldn’t it be? she calls out a goodbye to her mother and sees shauna’s car pull up by her curb, sliding into the passenger seat.

jackie remembers the day that she met shauna. it was the first day of their freshman year, and they assigned seats right next to each other in geometry. it was probably the best thing that ever happened to jackie (except for when she got floor seat eras tour tickets as a birthday present, but, close enough).

ever since then, jackie and shauna were like two peas in a pod. they did everything together. why wouldn’t they? they were best friends. jackie remembers one day in sophomore year during her biology class, when shauna was absent, the teacher asked her ‘where the other one was’. it was one of jackie’s happiest moments. she never really had anyone the way she had shauna before. 

shauna even helped her get with her current boyfriend, jeff. she was tutoring him all throughout freshman year, and jackie was obsessed with him. At first, she was convinced that shauna liked him - which would have been a problem cause what kind of best friend would she be if she went after her best friend’s crush? - but once she realized shauna didn’t like him, she immediately set up a plan for shauna to talk to him so they can get together. In the end, everything worked out and now, three years later, jeff and jackie are still thriving and together.

“so,” jackie says enthusiastically, grabbing shauna’s hand, to which the latter pulls away. probably just to keep both her hands on the wheel, jackie figures.. “first day of senior year! are you ready?! i feel super confident about soccer tryouts. and about rutgers, of course!”

rutgers. jackie’s dream school. It truly was everything she ever could have wanted. in freshman year, she took a tour with her high school class and immediately fell in love. when asked ‘why rutgers’ her immediate response was ‘why not rutgers.’ it had amazing academic courses, a variety of majors to choose from, a beautiful campus and tall, ivy colored walls. she wanted it all. 

but that wasn’t the only reason jackie wanted to go to rutgers.

jackie wasn’t big on secrets. well, okay, fine, maybe she was - she had a lot of them, anyways. but she wasn’t a big fan of secrets she couldn’t tell shauna. in fact, she only has one of those. 

jackie taylor, popular girl extraordinaire, wanted to get the fuck out of wiskayok, new jersey. She was the poster child for a small town golden girl. It’s not like she was expected to go places that weren’t the chapel to get married to the father of her future children. and she loves jeff, she really does, and she wants a life with him but not like that. she wants her own life, too. one that’s more than just being a man’s wife. a child’s mother. a product of the suburban lifestyle. 

she knows, realistically, she could never leave. she could never be the person she truly wants to be. besides, it’s not like her parents would ever let her get that far away from wiskayok. so rutgers was the farthest she could go.

contrary to popular belief, jackie taylor was not your stereotypical popular homecoming queen. she actually had thoughts and feelings that weren’t just ‘oh, my dress is ugly!’ or ‘oh, my hair looks great today!’ (although, she did take her haircare very seriously). jackie was actually a real life human being, not just a lifesize barbie doll. with her long, caramel-colored hair flowing down her shoulders, her long eyelashes always curled to perfection, and her clothes always form-fitting and attractive, jackie knows it’s hard to imagine her as a girl with problems. It’s hard to imagine that perfect, smart, gorgeous jackie taylor could have things to cry about. hot girls have it easy, that’s what everyone thinks. and jackie knows, she knows that she probably has it easier than most. 

but it doesn’t mean she has it easy.

jackie realizes that being a pretty, popular girl isn’t all bad. but it’s not all good. sometimes it causes less problems. and sometimes it causes more. it’s like one of the posters on her bedroom wall, written in big, bold text: girlhood is like godhood, a begging to be believed. that’s what it feels like to be jackie taylor; just begging to be believed.

ever since the day she knew what the word "housewife" meant, jackie knew that was her destiny. and as much as she didn't love the idea of staying at home, taking care of the kids while her husband was at work, she knew that there were worse things in the world. and when you've had as much time to prepare for this future as jackie had, well, you get used to it.

so jackie's used to it, really. it's fine. but still, a girl can dream.

“come on, let’s grab something real quick.” jackie says, nodding over to the local cafe. jackie’s pretty sure her and shauna go to the cafe more than the go to actual school (and jackie had a perfect attendance record). jackie’s raging insomnia meant she needed the caffeine. tired girl is never a successful one, jackie’s mom had always told her. she’s pretty sure that was just her trying to get jackie to go to sleep on time, but, the details aren’t really important. what was important is that usual server who takes jackie and shauna’s order wasn’t there, and instead, was replaced by a blonde haired, pale skinned, grunge looking teenage girl, no older than 18. 

jackie was not big on spontaneity or anything that doesn’t follow a routine, so sue her for freezing up slightly when she noticed there was a new girl. a new girl who didn’t know her and shauna’s order by heart, a new girl who might not match jackie’s positive attitude, a new girl who looked like she was giving jackie the death stare until jackie realized she was the one staring. shit. so much for first impressions.

“sorry” jackie immediately apologized. “um, can we get a small iced caramel latte and a small americano, please?” she recited her and shauna’s usual order. usually, with the old girl, jackie would engage in conversation for a couple of minutes until she backs up the line so much that the store’s owner walks out and starts yelling at the two of them. this time, she expected the blonde girl - whose name tag read natalie - to bitch at her, maybe judging her for her choice of drink or whatever. but instead, she just nods, takes jackie’s credit card, gives it back, and walks away to make the drink. and jackie? has no fucking clue what to think.

“you okay?” shauna asks, noticing jackie’s shaken up state. “uh yeah, sorry.” jackie immediately snaps out her trance, still staring awkwardly at natalie. “um, shauna? what do you think of the new girl?” jackie asked, finally tearing away her eyes from the dark makeup and the shaggy haircut. “what do you mean?” shauna asked, and jackie just shakes her head because of course shauna never payed enough attention to notice that they always order from the same girl because of course shauna never cared enough about routines. of course she never had to live her life by a certain formula or method the way jackie did. so of course when a new server comes around, shauna doesn’t even bat an eyelash. of course, of course, of course-

“never mind.” jackie shakes her head, and ignores the pit in her stomach when she realizes that shauna isn’t going ask her what’s wrong.

“here you go.” natalie says, handing the drinks over to the girls, her face completely expressionless, no visible hatred detected but no obvious happiness either. now, jackie isn’t the best at reading social cues, she can be oblivious sometimes and people like natalie, with no obvious expression on their faces, doesn’t help. jackie likes the feeling of being able to know what’s going on in someone’s head, it makes her feel safer. natalie makes her feel the opposite.

jackie smiles as wide as her lips would let her go, taking both her and shauna’s drink as the two of them exit the cafe.

they still had a good 20 minutes until school started - jackie always made sure that her and shauna were early for the first day - so they stayed in the car, sipping their coffee and gossiping like always (which equals to jackie yapping and shauna just nodding along). it was nice. jackie hadn’t really seen much of shauna throughout the summer, despite jackie’s many attempts for them to get together and hang out, and even though things were slightly tense between them, jackie can’t deny that she misses her best friend. almost enough that she was considering being a few minutes late just so she could talk to shauna for a bit longer. almost.

“alright.” jackie squeezes shauna’s hand. “it’s time.”

they walk into the school, hand and hand, and as excited as she is to finally be back, jackie can’t deny that she’s slightly nervous. it’s her last year. it has to be perfect, jackie starts to think, but then stops before she can start reading too much into it.

she sits down at her homeroom, finding the desk labeled with her last name, and plopping down. she’s near the door, so she’s able to look outside and observe all the students walking up and down the halls, in and out of classrooms. she recognizes everyone, having memorized everyone’s names and faces by the time she finished her freshman year and no that doesn’t make her a creep, it’s not like she followed anyone around or anything trying to find out if their name was sarah with an ‘h’ or without one (it’s not stalking, okay, its just research) (oh, and there was an h. ten points for jackie). 

eventually, her own classroom starts to fill out except for a seat next to her, labeled “scatorccio” in all uppercase letters. which is odd, given the fact that jackie doesn’t actually know anyone with the last name scatorccio, which she may or may not start freaking out about.

but before she can take anymore time to have a mini panic attack about everything not going to plan, the principal steps into her classroom and requests jackie head over to his office, which causes her to have a different mini panic attack because she’s been here for what, five minutes, and she’s already in trouble? (okay, logistically, she knows she’s probably not in trouble, and her freaking out is just another repeat of the coach martinez incident, but still). apparently, jackie’s fear is obvious, cause the principal just chuckles and informs her that no, she isn’t in trouble, and instead he wants her to show around the new girl, which immediately made jackie why the actual fuck did someone move to wiskayok of all places but she didn’t say that because oh, that must be who the scatorccio girl is.

as she walks into the principal’s office, he starts to go on to say something about how he wanted her to show the new girl around because she was positive representation for the school or something, some shit she’d really eat up if it wasn’t for the growing pit in her stomach when she saw coffee shop girl standing right in front of her in the office, which, why the hell would she be here? unless…unless-

“jackie, this is the girl i want you to show around. natalie scatorccio, meet jackie taylor. jackie, this is natalie.”

well. fuck.

────୨ৎ────────

[twst-drabbles]

Hello! this is my first time request something so I hope I didn't break any rules.

I want tooth rotting fluff sanctuary au with Leona and Ruggie. Nothing specific but I want to have a glimpse on their everyday lives with the caretaker mc

Leona and Ruggie 5

Summary: Ruggie and Leona are irritating to deal with when they decide to team up to bother you. Especially when you finally decided to start your walks again.

(Who doesn't like to indulge in cuteness? I certainly do!)

"Ruggie, can you not?" Sure sure, he doesn't really weigh much of anything, embodying the wind, but you never once said you'd be carrying him on your back while hiking. "Get off."

"What? You don't like my company? You're hurting my feelings here." Ruggie did, in fact, not get off and instead wrapped his arms tighter around your neck. You can practically hear the grin on his face, the brat. "I may not be tiny anymore, but this form consumes a lot of energy. I just get tired too easily, Caretaker."

Yeah and you have a flesh and blood body that's aging and breaking down in ways you don't want to talk about. You too get tired! It's why you're walking again.

"Should've stayed home then if you're that bone tired." You reached back and grabbed Ruggie by the scruff. He went limp and it was easy to slide him off. Ruggie was still smiling, though it was a little stiff. Looked funny. "Off you go."

"I didn't realize you've become so cold, Caretaker." Oh and here's the other familiar that decided to tag along as soon as Ruggie that announcement that somehow missed Jack's ears. "Here we are, putting in the effort to keep you company and you punish us by making us walk on our own legs."

"You're not even walking, Leona." He's laying on a large mound of sand that's been trailing behind you like a snail.

Leona waved you off, one arm behind his head. "Don't we deserve to be spoiled a little? Look at Ruggie's face. Can you really say no to that?"

Ruggie, still grabbing him by the scruff, pouted, ears flat against his head as stray leaves gently swayed around his body. You tossed him towards Leona's sand.

Leona gave a bark of a laugh while Ruggie whined out your name.

"Hey, do you really want us to go home?" Leona picked off the twigs and leaves collecting in his sands, flicking them off into a nearby puddle. "We can be quiet if it bothers you that much."

"We can just hide away so you can pretend we're not here, if that's better." Ruggie popped out from the sand, crossing his arms.

…that's a little too serious a tone to take on this early in the morning. That's concerning.

You raised an eyebrow. "You both really want to be with me, right?"

Leona didn't say anything, preferring to close his eyes, while Ruggie gave a big, defeated sigh. "Isn't it obvious? We'd end up worrying ourselves sick if we let you walk all alone."

…ah, alright. That's the core of it huh, worry. Well, hopefully there will come a day where they won't worry about that.

"Then walk with me all you like. Just, no surprise carrying. I need to used to my own weight first."

[generisydtoo]

Arcane: What’s the deal with the Warden in Season 2?

I’ve seen people question why the Warden was present this season, but only seen further discussion only once or twice on X/Twitter, and I made a TikTok touching on it. Hopefully this post provides some clarity!

⚠️ Mention of abuse

Like many others, I initially wondered why the Warden was present in Season 2. Caitlyn made some changes to Stillwater, including shutting down the inhuman cells that Vi was held in, but what about the Warden?

Someone pointed this out on X/Twitter, but look at the Warden’s desk in S1. Empty right?

Now look at it in Season 2. It’s filled with stacks of files and papers.

If you look closely, you’ll see the Kiramman crest on those files. (If you rewatch the episode, you should be able to see a clearer image of the files.) She’s giving him paperwork so he won’t have time to interact and abuse other inmates like he did to Vi.

For reference, here is the Kiramman crest (left), and here's the crest on the files (right; I tried to sharpen the image for clarity):

It’s not ideal, of course, but keep in mind, that it can be difficult to fire someone— especially someone who’s been involved with that institution longer than Caitlyn has— without proof (besides Vi’s account). I hope this doesn’t sound bad; it’s just a sad reality that abusive, corrupt institutions like these don’t really document the harm THEY enact on the inmates.

Also, the Warden also wasn’t the only one abusing his power. Remember: 1) Vi says “send in whoever is gonna kick the shit outta me, so I can get on with my night,” and 2) the Warden asks Caitlyn “you want us to have a chat with her”. This is a larger, systemic issue, and the solution goes deeper than just replacing the Warden.

As much as I loathed seeing his face again in season 2, I’m glad we got to see the Warden meet the bitter end that he did. What better fate could await the man who actively put Vi’s safety and wellbeing at risk (and was pretty cavalier about admitting it) than being killed by the man who would go to the ends of the earth to protect her?

[itsrainingpandas]

Ever since @vonspe released the NPC version of her OC Scipio, I have had a brain worm with him and my dummy gremlin Crow!Rook. So I wrote a thing!

Scipio belongs to Vonspe , I just admire her art and her drawings have given me joy in these here trying times. Hopefully I can return the favor in a small way. ❤️

Pick Your Poison

She was silent, creeping up on him, crouched with a dagger in her hand. He had his back to her and was none the wiser to the danger. Closer, closer, and then…with a fierce grin, Rook lunged for him.

She landed with the hilt of her blade at the small of his back, snickering. “Oh, Scipio,” she tsked, “You’ve gotten soft! You really should pay attention. You're dead now!”

A chuckle rumbled through him as he turned to peer over his shoulder, looking thoroughly unsurprised. “Am I?” 

Rook looked down. Scipio had shifted his arm behind his back in the split second before she had lunged, gripping a needle in his gloved hand. It was pressed against her leathers, and were this a serious scenario, it could slide past her armor and fill her with poison before she got a good stab in. 

Upon seeing this, Rook burst out laughing. “Oh, no! I’m dead!” She stepped back and resheathed her mageknife, delighted to be bested at her own game. “Oh, you got me. This is so tragic. You'll have to break the news to my many admirers.”

Scipio smirked, pleased with himself even before he said, “I'll be sure to let them both know.”

Rook made a face and moved as though she were going to punch his kidneys. He simply swayed out of her way, unperturbed, before regarding her with amusement. Her childish petulance melted as she grinned, looking back and forth between his eyes. They were striking in their color difference- one so dark it was almost black, one staggeringly blue. He seemed to give in to the fondness, poking at her playfully. “And what brings our Rook to this level of the Diamond today?” 

Rook leaned back against the counter that served as a place to get both drinks and poisons, and hopefully never the wrong one of the two. “I'm looking for a specific poison. Or– a friend of mine is looking for it. A poison.”

Scipio’s eyebrow arched in interest. “Anything fun?”

“No. It's the opposite of fun. Academic things.” Rook’s nose crinkled in distaste. She was never a good student, so she couldn't imagine how or why someone could keep researching past the required schooling. Scipio chuckled as if he could see her thoughts; he had known her as a fledgling, so he wouldn't be surprised by her disdain.

“And this poison,” he continued, rolling up his sleeves and tightening the ribbon keeping his long, dark hair back, “Viago didn't want to do it?”

“Between you and me, he's better at antidotes. Mixing poisons is more your specialty.” Her eyes narrowed in an attempt to look dangerous that was not enough to offset her small stature and full head of bright red curls. “But if you tell him I said that, I’ll deny it and put one of your snakes in your boot.” 

“I’m beginning to think you just came here to threaten me.” 

“Me? Never,” Rook hoisted herself up to sit on the counter, pretending not to notice Scipio’s vaguely disapproving look. She spread her arms wide. “Come on, I wanted to see you! I missed you! Didn't you miss me, Tío?” 

He watched her a moment, and she noticed how tired he looked. Though, to be fair, Scipio always looked tired. After careful consideration, he shook his head and chuckled. “Oh, I suppose it is fun to hear Viago yelling again.” Rook laughed, the opposite of his laugh, loud and attention-drawing. 

"Now," Scipio began placing dubiously unmarked vials on the counter, “what poison is your friend looking for?”

Rook blinked as though she had never thought to ask. “I dunno.” She leaned back on the counter to the point where she could have easily rolled backwards off of it and landed on her head. She scanned the room, but it wasn't hard to spot the odd one out in the sea of Crows.  Rook gave a grand, sweeping wave over her head. “Emmrich! Over here!”

The professor appeared moments later, appearing harried by his standards and remarkably put together by anyone else’s. “Apologies, Rook,” he said sweetly, politely, “Manfred is quite fascinated by this place, so I was keeping an eye on him. I had to stop him from chasing one of the crows around…” he gestured to the birds roosted in the ceiling, who indeed seemed to be watching with some perturbation. Rook snickered at the mental picture before composing herself enough for introductions.

She held a hand out towards Emmrich in presentation. “Scipio, this is Professor Emmrich Volkarin. Emmrich,” Rook turned enough to loop an arm around Scipio’s neck, “this is my Tío Scipio.”

Emmrich smiled, brushing a hand back to smooth his hair which was hardly out of place. “Apologies, again. It's a pleasure to meet you, ah…” his eyes darted towards Rook, unsure, “I'm sorry, could you repeat…?”

“Scipio,” the man finished, bowing slightly at the waist. “A pleasure, professore.” 

Rook hopped down from the counter. “What, he can't call you ‘Tío’?”

Scipio kept his eyes on Emmrich as he dropped his hand on top of Rook’s head. “You are on babysitting duty today, I see?”

She grumbled and pushed his arm away. Emmrich pressed a crooked finger to his mouth in an attempt to disguise an amused smile that did not help her mood. “I don't need babysitting!” Rook snapped. “You know, I make a lot of the decisions for our group.”

“That is true,” Emmrich offered amicably, his gaze shifting the significant height difference between the two Crows. 

“Hmmm,” Scipio considered the information before asking Rook, “So why do you come back here and act like a fledgling?”

Emmrich let out a sound of surprise before leaning on the counter, eyes bright with excitement. “I have noticed that she tends to regress when we come to Treviso! It's very interesting,” he pressed his thumb to his bottom lip, “I wonder if it's a response to childhood stressors. Perhaps–” 

“Emmrich!” Rook whined, betrayed. She would have stomped her foot if the idea of “regression” hadn't taken hold on her mind. But the professor received the complaint and stopped his analysis, mumbling apologies while at least having the decency to look sheepish. 

Scipio, however, had no such scruples. He tilted his chin down, conspiring.“If you do take notes, I’d be happy to review them. I always appreciate new material.”

Emmrich chuckled warmly, much too charmed for Rook’s taste. She groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I regret introducing you two,” she pouted. "Immediately regret it.”

They were now ignoring her completely, it seemed, exclusively focused on each other. “So, professore,” Scipio smiled faintly, “what poison are you looking for?”

“Ah, yes,” he startled as though he had forgotten why he had come, “I was hoping for concentrated magebane. You see, I want to test its effect on bone–”

“It won't corrode it, if that's what you're hoping for.”

“No!” Emmrich looked appalled by the very idea. “No, it was a thought I had. You see, if it could mark the deceased, then it might deter any necromancers who wander too far afield. Necromancy is a distinguished art, of course, but some do not wish to worry about their deceased. If those bodies could marked as unusable–” 

Rook sighed noisily. “All right, well, if you don't need me…” 

Emmrich didn't even pause, continuing to excitedly explain his theories to a thoughtfully listening Scipio. That was her answer, she supposed. 

Rook wandered around until she found Manfred, who was still peering up at the roosting crows in fascination. She wrapped an arm around the boney cut of his shoulders with a sigh. “I think I accidentally set your dad up on a date,” she murmured to the skeleton. Manfred let out a cheerful, gurgling hiss, though she suspected he had no idea what she was going on about. Well, nothing to do about it. Might as well take advantage of having lost her “babysitter.”

“All right, Manfred,” Rook clapped her hands together, “I'll teach you about the birds up there. But first: we’re going to work on you saying the word ‘shit.’”

Manfred squealed cheerfully once more. Just a fun little surprise for Emmrich later as revenge for the regression idea that would do nothing but prove his point.  

[justgivemethephd]

24.01.2025

Happy Friday everyone! 😵‍💫

Holyyyy I thought I was never going to get to the end of this week. I've been sleeping extremely poorly lately so I've kinda felt like a zombie all week, but I'm still very proud of myself for being as productive as I have been!

I managed to complete the first full draft of my upgrade report and send it to my post doc for checking before it hits my supervisor's desk, I ran my first in vitro digestion assay with the proteins I extracted last year and had to run a bunch of gels to see how well each substrate degraded. This proved rather tedious as none of the gels were running properly, which was... fun, to say the least. Buuut things seem to be moving forward nicely and I'm really looking forward to all the new experiments I'll have going on in the next few weeks. Hopefully I can rest up this weekend and get my energy back.

On a more personal note, I've been keeping up with my exercise routine so far! I skipped the gym tonight as my ankle was a little achey today and I would hate to hurt myself so early on in my training, but otherwise I really impressed myself this week. Having been called unfit my entire life, I had incredibly low expectations of how running would go for me, but I managed to smash two 4-5km and one 8km run just in the first few days! I am becoming increasingly curious of just how much my body can do/handle, and needless to say this is going to motivate me to keep going in tis journey.

I hope everyone has had a lovely and successful week, and may you all be sleeping better than I am!

_____

🎧 - Beautiful Stranger by Laufey

🎮- Baldur's Gate 3

📖 - Ego Psychology and the Psychoses by Paul Federn

[writingtraumaforever]

Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 39

Notes: I'm baaaack! I had a LOVELY vacation! Tons of fun! All up until the very last day when I got a severe sinus infection and then had to fly home with it and- NEVER fly with a sinus infection, people! It is apparently very dangerous. I had no idea. Long story short, my ears no longer are working properly, I have enough snot to fill an olympic swimming pool, and I am in a constant state of dizziness and am basically drunk. SO. Be patient with me. But I didn't want to keep you all waiting any longer than I already have. So enjoy the chapter and hopefully it makes sense despite being typed in my very drunken state of mind. If not, I'll just fix it later. Smh.

Summary: Shadow and Sonic discuss insecurities.. The Black Arms Invasion is discussed.

UC Masterpost!

Link to MY AO3!

Start:

Shadow has no idea how the heck he got here.

Everything had been going relatively well. This world’s version of Rose turned up with the green chaos emerald she had found while visiting a friend on Seaside Island which had brought them to a solid five emeralds, only in need of two more which isn’t half bad for only being at this for a couple of days.

Not to mention that Amy brought a sense of comfort and familiarity Shadow hasn’t really gotten here thus far. 

Rouge had been nice to see and have around, yes, but this version of Rouge was more standoffish with him. Wouldn’t have much to do with him— which he’s never admit bothered him as much as it actually did.

However, Amy Rose?? She was consistent in both worlds, it seems. A friendly face with a loving heart that was open to Shadow despite him being a bit more grouchy than her typical Shadow.

She had approached him immediately, hugging him and assuring him that they’d get him back home soon.

‘Oh, you poor thing! I can’t imagine how overwhelming all of this must be for you. We’ll have no fear, Amy Rose is here! And I’m here to make sure your time here is as relaxed as it possibly can be! Care for some tea to help calm your nerve??’

She was a godsend, really.

And he did in fact very much appreciate her tea. It definitely was a lot more soothing for him than the infinite amount of coffee he’s been digesting. He was starting to get jittery.

They were just sitting down to properly enjoy their tea and chat with one another about the differences of their worlds when the echidna had come running inside announcing they’d made contact with his own world.

And well.. that went to shit real quick.

It was nice at first. Wholesome. And Shadow would never admit it aloud, but he really did feel better seeing Sonic look so happy. So relieved. All wagging tail and grinning mouth and teary eyes. He was the epitome of joyous at his verbal reunion with his partner. And despite feeling a bit odd hearing his own voice speaking so softly towards the blue hedgehog, it was.. good. 

Sonic needed this..

Speaking of Sonic, his own had piped up at one point and..

It did odd things to Shadow’s stomach.

‘How’s our Shadow??’ he had asked. And while he’s been hearing that obnoxious voice plenty the past several days thanks to being close and personal with this world’s Sonic, there was something about knowing it was his world’s Sonic asking how he was doing that made it.. different.

He had spoken up, being even more thrown off by how ecstatic his own Sonic had sounded hearing from him. How relieved. He hadn’t been expecting it..

They quickly return to their typical banter, trading a few one-liners about Shadow being a grouch and Sonic being an idiot. Typical. Familiar.

He can’t help but smile to himself..

And that’s when the shit hit the fan.

Turns out Alternate Shadow hasn’t informed the team back in normal Shadow’s world about his and Alternate Sonic’s relationship.

Specifically, he hasn’t informed Sonic.

Sonic sounded shocked to say the least.

Shadow stayed quiet through most of it, arms crossed with a small frown on his muzzle as he watches this world’s Sonic become more and more worked up. His blue quills rising defensively, tail no longer wagging and instead pointing in agitation while his ears are folded back in disappointment.

All signs of a not-so-happy hedgehog.

Which makes for a not-so-happy conversation.

“You know what??? Whatever. None of this is essential anyway, so I’m just gonna go do essential things. Here’s Tails.”

Then Sonic was shoving the mic away from himself and standing from the chair with a huff, Shadow frowning and furrowing his brows at the actions that he himself deemed a bit dramatic. Especially when Sonic had been showing so much maturity and wisdom when preaching at him in the kitchen earlier about Shadow running from his identity crisis.

Talk about insecurities. The hedgehog was a hypocrite.

“Sonic-!” Amy called to try and calm him down only for him to tear out of the garage with a sonic boom in his wake and a streak of blue behind.

Amy frowns with a sigh, hugging her arms around herself as she looks in the direction he disappeared off into.

Tails takes over talking to the other world’s group, Shadow turning to face Knuckles with a glare.

“Did you have to tease him about his partner potentially cheating on him??”

“You what?!” Amy gasps, her empathy turning to fury and being directed at the red echidna now.

Knuckles holds his hands up in surrender, eyes wide as he backs away from Amy who looks on the verge of summoning her hammer.

“Wait wait wait—! I was just joking! Come on! How was I suppose to know he’d take it so seriously???”

“You know how he takes everything to heart even if he pretends not to!” Amy growls, her hands moving to her hips as she backs Knuckles into a corner. Rouge sits perched on the nose of the Tornado looking amused by this entire thing.

Shadow just sighs and rubs his fingers into his temples, closing his eyes a moment as the team continues their bickering..

Sonic will be back.

He just needs time to cool off. Think rationally.

His emotions are high right now for a variety of reasons. He simply needs some space..

He expects him to be back within an hour realizing how stupid he was being and how childish. 

But sunset came and went, and there was still no sign of the blue hedgehog late into the night.

So Shadow takes matters into his own hands.

“I’m gonna go after him,” he announces, standing from his seat on the couch and moving towards the door. It’s ridiculous how much of an effect this idiot has on him no matter what world he’s in. Always cleaning up the fool’s messes.

“Uhh- is that the best idea???” Amy asks with knitted brows, rising from her own chair now. They had both been sitting in the living room waiting up for Sonic. She’s dressed in pajamas— a red tank top and white fuzzy shorts with her socks and gloves still on. Her red headband replaced by a red scrunchie holding her hair up in a loose bun. 

Knuckles and Rouge turned in for some sleep— heading out earlier to search for the last two emeralds. Tails is still in the workshop fidgeting with the radio, but Shadow saw him nodding off before he left him be, so he imagines he’ll be turning in soon— if he hasn’t already fallen asleep at his workbench.

“Why wouldn’t it be??”

“Well,” she rubs the back of her neck, “Because he’s gone because he’s upset at his Shadow.. so maybe seeing you will make him emotional again?”

“He’s not upset at his Shadow, he’s upset because he acted foolishly, and I’m sure he realizes that. He’s likely embarrassed.”

“You’re probably right,” she sighs, “But this still isn’t your world.. I don’t think you should be running around alone out there—“

“I can take care of myself, Rose,” Shadow assures with a tiny hint of a smile her direction, Amy seeming to visibly relax at this reassurance, “If I’m not back before sunrise, you can wake the others and come looking. But I’ll be back before two hours, tops.”

She seems hesitant still. Unsure. But after giving it some thought, she gives in and nods with a little frown, “Okay.. but please be careful. And please go easy on him.”

“No promises,” he huffs, turning and walking out the door.

And he knows just where to look.

———

Crawling into the tree he had been to only a few days ago, Shadow can’t help but wonder what he’s about to stumble upon. He’s fairly confident the blue hedgehog will be here since this was introduced as one of his comfort spots, and despite how he may have acted earlier, he knows he’s missing his partner. He just wonders if he’ll find him angry. Or sad. Shadow rather him be angry, honestly. He could deal with angry. He didn’t know how to deal with Sonic being sad.. And frankly, neither did Sonic.

Ducking through the narrow passageway under the ground and through the siding of the mountain, he reaches the hole at the end in the roof of the cave. The vine used to climb up isn’t there, being lifted as a sign of not wanting to be bothered. 

Lucky for Shadow, he has air shoes.

Kicking them in hover-mode, he allows the fumes to slowly lift him off the ground and up through the hole. Peeking out, he finds Sonic there a few feet away sitting amongst the greenery with his knees hugged to his chest..

Shadow sighs through his nose, turning his air shoes off to land on the edge of the hole and slowly step towards him.

He doesn’t speak. Neither does Sonic.

Walking forward until he’s at the hedgehog’s side, he crouches down to sit; once again careful not to smoosh any flowers if he can help it. Sonic doesn’t react, only pulls his legs tighter against himself and buries his mouth into his knees.. Long nose peeking out over them. Shadow’s lips purse, crimson eyes watching the blue hedgehog that just stares ahead at nothing in particular. He can see how fast the hero’s mind is travelling. How despite his current stillness, his head hasn’t stopped moving. 

Shadow knows that feeling all too well.

He sighs from his nose, looking ahead as well to simply take in the moonlit view along with Sonic. Quiet.

They stay like this a long moment.

Shadow just being there with Sonic, so he doesn’t have to be alone..

But he promised Rose two hours. So they can’t stay here all night.

“...You’re an idiot, you know that, right?”

Sonic huffs, chuckling with a small headshake though there’s no amusement in the laugh. More of a scoff than anything.

“You’ve only reminded me of that every chance you’ve gotten since being here.” “Well, don’t do idiotic things, and I wouldn’t have a reason to remind you.”

“What do you want??”

Sonic’s tone is sharp. Trying to give off hostility, but Shadow sees right through it. He hears the ache.. The need for comfort.

“..I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well, I’m fine. So you can go now.” “You have everyone worried.. Especially Rose.” “She’ll be fine. She knows I’ve been through way worse.” “Perhaps that’s why she’s so worried.” Sonic frowns at that, glancing at Shadow out of the corner of his eyes before moving to rest his chin on his knees rather than having it hidden behind his thighs.

“...Don’t act like you know anything any of us have been through.”

“I don’t claim to,” Shadow shakes his head, knowing this is just Sonic trying to avert from the real problem. Him. “But I know what worrying for a friend is like.. And it’s no picnic.”

“Yeah, well then maybe you should go back and let her know I’m fine.” “I don’t intend on returning without you.” Sonic huffs at that, seeming frustrated by Shadow’s persistence but not surprised by it.

“Can’t I just pout in peace?” “So you admit you’re pouting?” Shadow’s brow quirks, head turning to look at Sonic now with a small tilt.

“Yeah, well, I have plenty of reason to be upset,” Sonic remarks defensively, lifting his chin from his knees and turning to glare at Shadow.

“Oh please, Hedgehog, I think we both know you were being a bit dramatic. Your Shadow wouldn’t–” “As if you would know anything about our relationship- about any relationship,” Sonic snaps, brows furrowed and jaw locked.

Every instinct in Shadow screams to match his energy. Give him the same hostility he’s receiving. But he knows that won’t help anything.. So after a long moment of the two just glaring at one another in a challenging sort of way.. Shadow takes a deep breath in and exhales it out slowly.

“You’re right. I don’t know what your relationship consists of. Nor do I know your whole history together or what you’ve been through… But I know myself. And while I am quite different than your version of me, I would like to believe we’re alike enough that I can confidently say I would never even dream of hurting someone I love like that..”

Sonic frowns at this, his scold melting into something a bit more achy and pained.. Green eyes drift away as he looks down at his shoes in thought.

“..I have never been in a relationship. But this-.. It’s not because I don’t recognize what goes into them,” Shadow explains quietly, voice calm and gentle, “I know it takes hard work.. And understanding and communication.. And plenty of patience. I also know it takes loyalty. An undeniable and unquestioning amount of it.”

Sonic’s ears flatten against his head as he listens, arms tightening around his knees as if seeking comfort from them. Like he wants to curl up and hide away in a little ball.

“..I never considered a relationship not because I’m incapable of it.., but simply because I… I feel undeserving of one,” Shadow admits honestly, “I don’t want to drag anyone into my hellhole of a mess. Don’t want to have someone have to deal with my past and try to make a future out of it when I myself struggle to most of the time.” Sonic’s eyes lift to look at Shadow, greens becoming misty as if he wants to disagree and tell him that he shouldn’t think such things but simply doesn’t have the energy to do so right now.

Shadow continues before he can anyway, “So I know how serious relationships are.. I know those who can manage them are admirable.. And I know that if I ever found someone I trusted enough to let in and begin one with?? The thought of even looking anyone else’s way wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

Sonic lets out a shaky little whine at that, hand lifting to press the heel of his palm to his eye and rub there. Trying not to cry. 

He knew Shadow was right. They may not be the same, but both Shadows were certainly alike in many, many ways. There seems to be traits that simply carry through all worlds and dimensions. Shadow’s being his resilience and determination, his patience, his wisdom, his strength, his honesty… and certainly his loyalty.

Because loyal is one of the top words that come to mind when asked to describe Shadow the Hedgehog..

“Damnit..,” Sonic sniffles out, “I was so stupid..” “Yes,” Shadow nods agreeingly, “But I’m sure the other me won’t hold it against you. It’s not as if it’s your first time.” Sonic gives a breathy chuckle at that, dropping his hand from his face to roll his eyes and give Shadow a sad and teary smile. “Yeah, that’s true..” Shadow offers his own tiny smile in response, brows knitting slightly as he slowly reaches a palm out to pat Sonic’s back. It’s a bit awkward, but he’s trying.

“But why wouldn’t he tell your Sonic about us??” Sonic asks with a small sniffle, rubbing his gloved wrist across the underside of his nose. “Well, there’s a lot of possible answers to that,” Shadow sighs, leaning back on his own hands now as he looks up at the starry sky, “My Sonic is an idiot just like you, you see. So having a bombshell like ‘an alternate version of you and your rival are madly in love in another universe’ dropped on him would likely elicit some pretty extreme reactions.” Sonic hums at that, head tilting in thought as he ponders this a moment, “..So you’re saying the alternate me is probably giving him hell right now?” “Oh, absolutely.” “That makes me feel a little better,” Sonic chuckles again, wiping the last of his building tears from his eyes and sighing with a quiet groan, “I’m so embarrassed– He’s probably pissed at me for ruining our first talk since this whole mess started. I mean– how petty was that?? I haven’t heard from my boyfriend in over a week because he’s trapped in an alternate dimension. We’re all potentially gonna die. And instead of taking any time left given to talk to him, I throw a fit over the idea of him cheating on me. And with another version of me, at that!” Shadow hums a chuckle with a shrug, “Pretty petty.” “So petty,” Sonic groans and rubs his hands down his face in frustration with himself before throwing them into the air and falling backwards onto his back dramatically.

Shadow smirks a bit, watching the blue hedgehog laying there beside him dealing with the dumb mistake he’s made..

“..Perhaps it’s more than the secrecy of your relationship in the other world that’s bothering you..” Sonic purses his lips at that, brows furrowing in thought as he looks back down to his shoes.

“..What if-.. What if he doesn’t like me as much as that other version?..”

Shadow sighs at this, opening his mouth to reiterate his alternate’s undying loyalty only for Sonic to stop him.

“No, no, just– hear me out.. He would never cheat on me, you’re right. He’s much too loyal for something like that. But he-.. He could develop feelings? Maybe your Sonic is a better match for him. Maybe he talks to me again and finds that he enjoys talking to your Sonic far more. Maybe he-..” Sonic’s voice cuts short, cracking as the blue hedgehog feels himself getting worked up again. He pauses to take a deep breath before sighing out, “Maybe he doesn’t want to come home..”

Shadow frowns at this, watching how Sonic’s glossy eyes stare at the stars in the sky above them.. the half blown up moon that’s shards still linger here and there. Littered in the black abyss of space.

He knows he’s wondering if the alternate Shadow is looking at that moon too.. 

After a moment, Shadow sighs and lays himself down beside Sonic. His hands crossed over his stomach as the flowers tower and loom around him. Framing the two of them in their spot. He knows he’s gonna be picking petals out of his quills for days after this— ugh.

His own eyes raise to the sky then.. looking at that moon..

And maybe-… maybe his Sonic is looking at it right now, too… or an alternate version of it, at least.

He finds himself wondering if Sonic thinks of him when he looks at the moon the way Shadow thinks of Sonic.. he wonders if he regrets that day during the ARK battle.. how he couldn’t save Shadow.

He wonders if it ever even crosses his Sonic’s mind the way it lingered so heavily on this one’s..

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Shadow says simply after a long moment of silence, his voice almost sad. Melancholic. Longing..

Sonic’s head turns, Shadow can feel his gaze on his profile.

“How could you know that?..”

“Because my Sonic—“ Shadow sighs, catching himself as he shakes his head and corrects, “the Sonic from my world.. He doesn’t feel the way you do. About me.”

Sonic is quiet at that. His head turning back to the sky. Shadow sighs through his nose, finding himself really thinking about this fact for the first time ever. He never really allowed himself to before.. to wonder why Sonic didn’t look for him after the fall. To contemplate that Sonic may just have thought the world was simply better off without him.

While Shadow has the thoughts quite often about himself, for whatever reason the idea of Sonic having them felt… devastating.

Before all this mess, he simply believed that Sonic thought him dead and that was that. Never looked too much into it. But now?.. Now he wondered.. what made Sonic give up on him so quickly.

It was a selfish thing to think, he knows. And it was silly to care. But deep down despite his dismay for even being associated with the blue idiot at times, he always admired him. Respected him. Held him at a higher regard than anyone else. He truly did want Sonic’s approval, his nod of confirmation, his respect and positive attention. The times Shadow has managed to truly disappoint Sonic have been few but every single one have lingered for a long, long time. Never left him. Always haunted him.

Sonic was good.

He wanted to be good in Sonic’s eyes..

He’d never admit such a thing, he’d die before doing so..

But it was a secret truth he carried deep inside himself.

“My Shadow almost killed me.”

Shadow blinks at that, knocked from his train of thought as though he had been going a million miles an hour and suddenly was at zero. 

He certainly wasn’t expecting that.

“I-..”

“Sorry, that was-,“ Sonic sighs and rolls his eyes at himself, realizing his error, “That was a bit heavy and sudden, huh?? I meant that.. I know what you’re thinking. That you.. went too far. That you’re too bad. That your Sonic doesn’t look at you the way I look at my Shadow because you’re just too bad, right??..”

Shadow blinks, head turning to look at Sonic now and their eyes meeting again. He hesitates. Then nods slowly..

Sonic smirks slightly then looks back to the sky, “Yeah. Figures. My Shadow is always way too hard on himself, too.. But what I was sayin’ was.. From what you’ve told me, your life has honestly been kinda mellow compared to my Shadow’s in terms of bad choices.”

“‘Mellow’?” Shadow scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking back to the stars, “I’m afraid my bad choices are vast. You underestimate—“

“My Shadow teamed with Doom during the Black Arms Invasion,” Sonic interrupts again, once again rendering Shadow speechless for a long moment.

Shadow.. doesn’t know what to say to that. Or how to even comprehend it. How could-… how could a Shadow that was found and surrounded by so many people who loved and took care of him ever team with Doom?

“..What happened?”

“It’s.. a long story. A lot of shit happened in the details, and I’ll skip all that for the sake of.. I don’t know. Making it easier on me to talk about,” Sonic chuckles awkwardly, Shadow’s brows knitting at that.

“We don’t have to—“

“No, no. I-.. I want to,” the hero clarifies with a little shrug, his eyes staying on the sky since it’s too hard to look at Shadow in that moment.. 

“..So from what you’ve said, you pretty much sided with us through the Black Arms Invasion?” “More or less..” “Heh, well… my Shadow? He.. he did at first, of course. It wasn’t a few weeks after we found him like it was for you, though. I think we found him sooner after the ARK Battle than the Rouge in your world found your Shadow is why. I spent only a month searching for Shadow before I found him, and then we had four together before Metal Sonic started kicking up his trouble.. The Black Arms invasion came a few weeks after that.” This was certainly different to Shadow’s own timeline where he was awoken five months after the ARK Battle during the Metal Sonic fiasco. The Black Arms was two weeks after, and he wasn’t emotionally connected to anyone at that point. Just lost and confused.. Easily manipulated and searching desperately for his place in this world.

“Black Doom took to Shadow like a parasite. He had him in his head, manipulating and moving his memories around to his liking, making Shadow believe things that never happened and see things that hadn’t yet happened. He didn’t tell anyone. He hid it, not wanting any of us to worry or be scared of him while his own fear of himself just kept growing and growing.. I didn’t even know until it was too late..”

Shadow can hear the guilt in Sonic’s voice. How he blamed himself for not seeing it sooner, for not knowing what was happening before Black Doom’s claws had been so neatly fitted around his Shadow’s neck..

This seemed to be an ongoing trend for them: blaming themselves for the others’ misfortunes.

“And by then Black Doom had Shadow… exactly where he wanted him,” Sonic sighs quietly, his brows furrowing as he remembers it all.. Flashes of the large almost ethereal monster Shadow had become. Dark tentacles, looming wings, sharp and long teeth and claws, so many glowing red eyes staring him down with piercing yellow pupils. How he wasn’t at all himself. How he was lost to something more sinister. Possessed by a higher power.. An heir to an end.

Sonic feels the lump in his throat throb when he swallows, his eyes growing more and more misty again. And he doesn’t want to cry anymore, so he simply takes a deep breath and shuts them as he sighs it out.

“In the end, everything turned out okay. We got him back. That’s what’s important.” It’s obvious that Sonic isn’t going to go anymore into it. Not yet, anyway. Not right now. Shadow doesn’t push it..

Instead, he reaches a hand over slowly and lets the backs of his fingers ever so slightly brush against the blue hedgehog’s. Simply letting him know he’s there. That he’s not alone. Not back in whatever place this talk has taken him to.

The corner of Sonic’s lips curl upwards at that, sighing as his eyes open again to look back at Shadow. A bit teary, but not shedding anymore.

“So trust me when I say… My Shadow and I have quite literally been to hell and back, and I only love him more. Whatever your Sonic is thinking about you, it’s not that you’re not good. If anything, it’s that he’s not.”

Shadow frowns at that, brows furrowing in confusion at that response. Why would Sonic think he himself isn’t good?? That’s all that dumb hedgehog is is good.

Still, he doesn’t argue on this. Just stores this knowledge away for later to ponder and contemplate on.

Sonic’s hand reaches up then, plucking a tiny piece of petal from Shadow’s quills and smirking as he drops it between them. Shadow watches it flitter to the ground.

“...It sounds like we both are talking to the wrong alternate of each other..”

“Yeah,” Sonic huffs, his smile growing a bit tired and wary as his eyes lift back to Shadow’s, “I gotta agree with you on that one.”

[nuhuh-yuhuhfum]

I thought that if Megatron isn't the reason why he is like this then it was something in the past and it really correlates with his personality for me. This is like my little au hopefully will make some memes on it in the future also this isn't inspired by someone else so if there is someone out there who has done this ig great minds think alike.

If you can't read some words ( neither can I 😢) just comment or smt else I'm too lazy to do it here.

And Tumblr keeps blurring the pictures man I might try and see if I can get a better pic on. Edit nvm it was when I was typing this it was blurry but ig when you post it unblurs or smt