#but honestly i think he is just a gross motherfucker. or maybe he really does have a piss kink. i don't know and it's none of my business.

[aromanticgarbage]

Have you noticed that joji might have a piss fetish. He's posted lots of pics/ vids of him peeing or talking about pissing himself lol

Yknow, when i said send me more asks I didn't exactly mean stuff like this.

[quarterlifekitty]

heyyy

can I ask for a part 2 on fuckboy soap?

i want to know more about what happens with reader and simon

in my head, Simon HATES seeing Johnny treat the reader that way. i can envision Simon taking her out, treating her right and all but stealing away Johnny's toy.

So, I posted a part 2, but I have these asks about it and I’d hate for them to go to waste— so I thought I’ll do a little bit of expansion on the relationship. Some shite exposition.

Uhhhh I’m back from writing this now and I didn’t mean to do this but I kind of made this like a prequel or like a part 1.5 I didn’t mean to make it so long oops

Promethean: how to starve a beast

Simon does not involve himself, in any way, in the nasty hookup miasma that Soap is a part of. That most of the frat is a part of, honestly. Motherfucker doesn’t party. This man is on financial aid and has a part time job. He is studying because he’s the one paying for his schooling and for his living expenses.

He doesn’t care that Johnny fucks people under less than savory pretenses. People get played by him? Better they learn their lesson with some harmless douche with a mohawk than with someone who will actually do some damage. Ultimately, not his business. He’s seen plenty of people come and go across the hall, and he’s not fussed.

He doesn’t respond to the conquest stories from the other guys when they’re sharing takeout, or the occasional ‘family’ dinner. Really, the only reaction he gives, even internally, is when one of them comments on something some girl did that was gross, or something about them that wasn’t hot.

A complaint that her period started when she stayed the night. I’d like to fuck a girl while she’s on the rag. Bet it’s fucking warm and slick.

A complaint that she had cellulite. Way to out yourself as being a porn addict, mate.

A complaint that her nails dug too hard into his skin. I’d love for a girl to make me bleed when I fuck her.

He didn’t feel any sympathy. Just accumulated little, harmless fantasies.

Until Johnny started talking about you.

Simon didn’t know you. Had never met you. Seen you once or twice, maybe. Hadn’t learned to even recognize your face.

“Kept leanin’, think she wanted me t’kiss her.”

“So fockin’ bad at giving head. S’a bit cute, tae be honest.”

“Tried tae make a grab for my hand the other night. Can ye believe it? Tryin’ tae hold my hand while ah’m givin’ it tae her. Daft thing still doesnae get it.”

Then he starts to notice you when you leave Soap’s room. The way you very gently close his door as if you’re worried about bothering him. The way you pause, like there’s something you want to say, before you move on. The deep breath. The odd sniffle.

And then, when you show up. Yanked inside without so much as a kind word.

Simon has to strain and get close to the door if he wants to hear you. Soap’s loud as all fuck, but from what one can hear from the hall, he may as well be in there alone.

It’s like there’s an electric coil in his belly. Every time there’s something to do with you, the dial ticks over a notch. The current heats the metal. Every time Soap brags about what he’s done to you. Every time he sees you shake when you walk down the hall and out of the house. Every time Soap brags about what you, the stupid little thing he keeps for a fuckpet, really wants—

The coil is red hot. Even if he could figure out how to turn off the burner, the heat would stay. The metal would be hot to the touch. The heat radiates the very air in front of him, like a mirage. He thinks of you when you’re not even in the house. When no one’s talking about you. You’re a parasite that’s squirmed deep into his gut and you can’t be removed without pulling his organs out with you.

He feels like he’s gone mad. How can no one else see it the way he does? How can Johnny not see how privileged he is to have you even look at him? How can he not want the perfect devotion you’re so keen to give him? How can you not know that any man would thank god for your returned affection, if you’d only set your sights on one that wasn’t a complete and total fuckhead? How has no jealous classmate or longtime friend come by and set Johnny’s nose bloody and crooked for how he’s treated you, sensitive and dangerously endearing as you are?

Every time Johnny talked about you, he had no idea that it was another rusted staple under his best mate’s skin. Building your mythology. Making you a prize. No, that wasn’t right.

Making you seem utterly wasted. Shackled yourself to a mutt with no sense for what he had writhing and submissive beneath him.

Soap has the perfect thing, the finest yield of flesh, right between his teeth and he won’t bite down.

Content for you to rot in his maw.

Well, Simon isn’t.

[supernova41st]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who honestly looks really sweet and nice, but they're actually really blunt and rude like every time they open their mouth it's just "YOU #### ILL ### YOUR ### UNTIL YOU ######!!!"

Sweet n’ Sour 🎀

Mercs x “nice”! Reader

(pt.2)

A/n: MWAH I LOVE THIS IDEA SM. Rn I’m planning to make a fic of my own after this then I’ll be doing more requests afterwards so please be sure to suggests something I may do!!

Warnings: Harsh insults, Suggestive, Patronizing

Scout

Somebody warn him before he does some stupid shit like asking you out

At first he saw you as some ditzy babe he can pull unlike how classy Ms Pauling was, so he didn’t go to spy for you

I mean he still would’ve gotten his ass handed to him if he went to spy

“Sup princess, was wondering if you’d let me pop a soda with you and maybe you’d let me pop something else” lip bite

“..can you pop that giant disgusting pimple on your forehead instead??”

he ran to his room and began to cry, spy had some questions

“…what did you do? What did you say to him?”

“Omfg, what are you his dad? Jesus it hasn’t even been a week here and I’m already so fuckin tired of these guys god it’s like middle school all over again”

You just rambled on how annoyed you were

Oh yeah, he did pop that pimple eventually

Scout (like the child he is) went to spy because he genuinely wanted to know what he did wrong, like seriously wanted to know

“And then she friggin’ told me I had a gross pimple on my face and none of it wasn’t my fault!! I mean-seriously do chics just decide to be bitchy whenever they want?”

“Scout. You went up to a woman, a real woman, patronized her, and what? You thought she was going to suddenly want to be your ‘babe’ as you call it?”

“…okay I see how she could’ve took it the wrong way, BUT”

Spy smacked the shit out of him lol

He was so scared of you even if you did fight alongside him, he was scared you were gonna chew him up again the way you did before.

At the same time it did get him pretty hard to see you out there, something about you yelling at enemies swearing to kill them and their families just got him going

“CANT SNEAK AWAY FROM THIS AK MOTHERFUCKER”

“Uhh, I need to go take a dump or sumthin’ like dat”

He always thought about asking you out but the way you responded to his attempt at hooking up with you was enough to make hide his feelings

But you definitely weren’t one to hide yours, you quickly recognized that his dumbassery turned your laced panties into a slip n’ slide. So of course you went up to him asking to go out

“Hey Jeremy, I saw you out there bashing that heavy’s head in like it was nothing. You looked cute”

“Oh, y-yeah I mean pfft it’s what I do I mean it’s nothing special unless you think it’s sumthin’ special which I totally agree with you if you think it’s cool-“

“Shh- how about when we go back to the base I help you with some new techniques and you show me some of yours?”

Scout didn’t know if that was a metaphor for sex or if he was going to get his ass destroyed by you, but either way the answer was gonna be yes

Medic

When you first joined the team he never really expressed that he thought you wouldn’t be a good edition to the team

It only ever showed while on a mission, he’d almost never Uber you because he thought of you as weak

The first time he really interacted with you was in the battlefield he kept on using his syringe gun instead of healing the the team

You got so frustrated with him and just had to say something

“MEDIC PUT THE FUCKING GUN AWAY AND UBER HEAVY YOU FOUR-EYE BITCH” you screamed, slapping his gun way and shaking his collar

He blushed at the sight of you snapping at him, so unexpected yet so.. hot

“Oh, ja.. of course ♡”

The love in this man’s eyes compared to the hate in yours was astonishing, of course he immediately went to go do what you told him, all for you and only you

As soon as the match finished he couldn’t stop thinking about how much fury you had, he was definitely going to pocket you in the next match

It was so exciting to see you, so beautiful, yet so aggressive on the field

He’s always calming you whenever you get angry, basically this photo

We all know Medic likes to be a bit messy himself with his bonesaw, you hate it when he gets messy around you

“Ugh!! Medic! You got blood on my skirt, do we need to get your ass another pair of glasses??”

“Now now, I itz nothing to worry about my love. I know my vway around a blood stain!”

“Okay,, but if this thing is still on here by then you’re buying me another.”

He enjoys watching you get ready in your pretty outfits and makeup. Medic is well maintenance but it doesn’t compare to how long it takes for you to get ready

You defending him is his fav thing ever, he never shows it a lot but he loves it when you cuss out mercs who think they aren’t getting enough healing

“SCOUT YOU PEICE OF SHIT STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM MEDIC IF YOU WANT HEALING!!”

“Aww, y/n ☺️”

No but you guys are so cute, esp when he Ubering you

He’s always cheering you on as you tear the enemy team apart

“You’re doing well my perle!!”

“Thanks my love! WHO WANTS THEIR BALLS CRUSHED”

Soldier

As soon soldier saw you he was kinda annoyed in a way? He didn’t want to kick you out or anything but he did want you to prove yourself to him, he wasn’t just gonna let a wuss fight alongside him

He once tried to push you to your limit by making you do some exercise but nothing could’ve prepared him for how you were gonna respond

“DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 40 CUPCAKE”

“Uh-uh I KNOW ur not talking to me bitch”

“DID I STUTTER?”

“DID I STUTTER?? DONT YOU HAVE LIKE AN EAGLE TO WALK OR SOMETHING? GO SHOVE A ROCKET UP YOUR ASS”

You continued to give him the death stare, but soldier just stood there

You guys made out hard, right there and then. He just couldn’t resist, we all know how he feels about strong ladies

After that the All-American Soldier we once knew turned into a loverboy, he lives and breathes to love you

But since soldier has the lowest IQ out of all of the mercs he tends to get you on your nerves a lot

“Soldier, sweetie!! Why are we dying so much what’s the biggie? 😚”

“APOLOGIES CUPCAKE, BUT IT APPEARS I HAVE KILLED ANOTHER SOLDIER. AND IN THE GREAT NAME OF LADY LIBERTY, I MUST BURY IT IN HER HONOR.”

“SOLDIER GET YOUR ASS ON THE POINT RIGHT FUCKING NOW.”

“..copy that”

He always straightens his back every time he’s in your presence, he always wants to show how tough he is and that he respects you

The team gets so overstimulated whenever you two are on the same mission, especially Spy. It always ends with him getting a headache

He’ll try to get you cute gifts, but sometimes what Soldier considers ‘cute’ can be um

“Yehhehehe, SWEETHEART, I HAVE A SUPRIIISE”

“Is it another ear necklace? Soldier I told you to stop giving me those they’re gross..”

“NEGATIVE!”

“sigh Finally, what is it?”

“A BOW MADE OUT OF MY TISSUE. DOCTOR HELPED ME MAKE IT.”

“..okay what the fuck are you on like-what medicine do you take??”

For the most part soldier means no harm, he just wants to love you. Even if it means giving you jewelry made out of the flesh of his enemies <33

[inthevoidzone]

okay so I'm just now FINALLY watching the ONLY trek I've never seen a single episode of and don't know many characters from -- Enterprise. Here is an exhaustive list of things I knew about Enterprise before starting it: - Captain Archer is a guy - T'Pol is a Vulcan - It's post Star Fleet but pre Federation - 9/11 That's it. So now that I'm a couple episodes in, here are some off the cuff observations of the only Star Trek I don't already know: Love the lo-fi tech stuff! When some basic, classic Trek tech doesn't work right. The way the med bay feels like a abattoir. The ship doesn't even have shields. Three tries at firing a photon torpedo and all three failed. Brilliant. Giving Archer that beagle was the best call ever, because he's kind of a dick but then he picks up that tiny dog and I am just filled with patience for him. No one who loves a dog that tiny can actually be a POS. I turned to my wife at the start of episode 4 to shake my head and sigh that I kinda hated Trip Tucker, only for him to spend the entire episode trembling and sweating and shouting and tripping balls. Then spend the first half of the episode after THAT... trembling and sweating and crying and tripping balls, before coming down and immediately getting pregnant. So okay, Trip Tucker, you know what? You can stay if this is what they're write for you. T'Pol is a Vulcan! I haven't much to say about her but I do have stuff to say about the Vulcans. Mostly that I imagined this show would be about how the humans need to grow to catch up to the Vulcans, and instead it's more about how they need each other to challenge their ideas and grow. I like that. There's a certain irony inherent to a prequel imo and here a lot of the good stuff comes from knowing that these judgey space guys who think each other are weird and gross end up becoming BFFs who found the ultimate BFF club. My wife says that this doctor is a Tuvix of Neelix and the Doctor. She was correct and also I love her for talking VOY to me.

I really like Hoshi so far, and I've gotten some really interesting conversations/thoughts about the role of the comms officer on the bridge of a starship and how interesting the surrounding history is. Hoshi is one of the most crucial members of the ENT crew, but in 200 years, her job will be so automated by the Universal Translator that fuckin Worf will do most of it. Not entirely -- those duties are actually spread between Captains, counselors, ops, and security, but it's definitely different! It's interesting seeing Hoshi build the UT. Does she know it'll eventually replace linguistics? How would she feel about that? Or how would Uhura feel about it, for that matter?? That generic british white guy who is the security chief sure is a security chief, isn't he?? Got me thinking about the inherent conservatism of the security chief, how the security chief tends to be the least 'evolved' person on a starship capable of seeing the least nuance. Maybe that type of person is cool if they're tempered and not in charge? Maybe a tiny little dose of fascism is good because order can be good??? God I fear a Captain who came up through security tho! Also, they tend to be some of my faves lol... Odo, La'an, Tuvok... sigh. They're always there stubbornly advising we shoot it and then learning you don't always have to shoot it. I have definitely noticed these guys seem a lot more flawed than the VOY or TNG crew -- more than DS9 too, I guess. Like, less likeable? But I think it's on purpose. T'Pol and Archer and Trip are all kind of awful to each other. Hoshi is scared shitless. British White Guy seems like a real dick. I think it works for me because I honestly just like unlikeable characters lol, but I hope it's in service of GROWTH. It excites me to imagine them coming to see how they're wrong. It excites me to imagine these NASA ass motherfuckers becoming the Federation. I hope I get to see it, and the coming 9/11 doesn't completely derail these arcs and the show doesn't become 24.

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: The Second (And Final) Odd Squad UK Trailer

Cute that FRP suddenly cares about Odd Squad when they haven't even so much as peeped about it for...what, over a year now? Two years, maybe?

Yeah. Anyway, it seems that PBS had to step up on their alt -- the franchise's social medias, you see -- and grab it from them, because it's clear they weren't gonna do it. Especially not during Hispanic and Latino Heritage Month when Alma's Way is the top dog. (You know how Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood is PBS Kids's golden kid? Alma's Way is FRP's. It's like the Spongebob of the prodco, really.)

But enough stick-up-the-anus cynicism. I did one Seren's Study on the gadget competition results video, and now I'm moving on to the one for the second trailer for Odd Squad UK. Some of it repeats bits from the first trailer, but it's otherwise completely new.

Let's dive below the break!

If you look closely, the badge number says 86.

Which would be fine, if I hadn't run numbers only to realize that neither Orli nor Ozzie have a badge number of 86.

So either someone's trippin' balls or I'm the one trippin' balls and can't math correctly.

What sleep deprivation does to a motherfucker: I saw this and immediately thought of "Two Agents and a Baby" because of the equipment Ozzie was holding. So I thought, "Okay, so they're babysitting?"

It's actually from "Planes, Trains and Oddmobiles". And as I've said before, I can predict, with stunning accuracy, what shots and what scenes line up with which episode. If you've seen the synopsis for "Planes, Trains and Oddmobiles", this brief snippet speaks for itself.

(Makes me wonder...anyone wanna set up a PonyGuessr game, but for Odd Squad screencaps? Would be fun to test your knowledge! I know I'd love one.)

*in about the best Bill Nye voice I can do*

Please...consider the following.

Dino Dex crossover.

(Hey, it's not impossible. If you've been watching this franchise, you know it's not impossible.)

They didn't even try with the house thing.

Is that not the same row of houses from "Training Day"? Am I delulu? Am I tripping? Or is that the same row of houses? Different color, maybe?

...I CHECKED. IT IS THE SAME FUCKING ROW OF HOUSES. BY G O D I'M ON FIRE!!!

Ah, I see we've also got some not-so-subliminal advertising for Sonic the Hedgehog 3 in here.

(See, it's funny because, IIRC, they made a jab at the UK in the trailer. So in a way, you could say they've come full circle!)

Funny how we go from the appropriate reaction one should have to having lightning shoot out of your head to "this is going to fuck up my entire life because I can't wear hats now" in...oh, I don't know...a scene or two, maybe? Five at best.

Ah, and we have our first look at Dottie Doubloon from "A Dicey Situation"! I will say, she does kind of look like a pirate attire-wise, which is what I was hoping for. Maybe she'll talk like a pirate too aaaaaaaand I just figured out the connection between her and Captain O and I need to go absorb my fat lil' body into the grass outside now thank you.

new villains

shows the Icy Mousey about to do a Hadouken

I don't think I need to explain what the direct distinction between creatures and villains are. It's like looking at a dog that bites your hand and equating him to a guy who killed his son. They both did bad things, but only one is an antagonistic animal in the more instinctual sense while the other one is a straight-up villain.

At least they show The Trifler right after...but still. It's all about sentience. Do I need to make a whole-ass sentience chart and tell- just keep rolling with it?

*sighs* Okay, fine...if I must.

I'm sorry...I honestly didn't believe this trailer would make me laugh, but then this guy comes in with a "Gadzooks!" while holding something gross and I lost it.

Behold: genderbent adult-aged Willow from The Owl House has made his way into Odd Squad UK. He's even got the hat on and everything!

new gadgets

shows the tubes

I'm just...I'm fuckin' tired, man. Is this some kind of joke? Is this a game? Because I want a Perplexus ball and not this shit, thank you.

It's like blinking Oprah...Oprah...she do the blink...in "Dance Like Nobody's Watching"...but...but 's Captain O...with a squinty squint...

Alternatively: I lol'd, until I serious'd.

I see Orwell Kubrick has some charm beneath all that "scare the kids but not too much". Good for him.

*with the tightest fucking smile any doctor has ever seen on a person*

"Is that his house? I- Is that Onom's fucking house? Take me to my best friend's house, I loved you then like I love you now? T- The iPod touch circa 2011?!"

I will say, I appreciate the analytics behind each pose here. Lots to dissect, if the Discord server is any indication.

Those five words might've just put a dent in my "ah, they'll drop 'em all on the 1st and forget about it" theory.

It could still happen -- PBS still hates the show, mind you. Netflix, Hulu, and most other streaming services do the same thing. There's a chance. You watch. You watch and see.

--------------------------------------------

Overall, a nice solid trailer. Doesn't exactly stoke any hype in me, but it did stoke my curiosity in finding out what happens. Funny enough, unlike the Season 3 trailer, there's no mention of the big bad or anything. At least there, The Shadow got a couple seconds of screentime. For the Terrible Three, though, there's nothing. Which...concerns me on a number of levels in terms of how well they're going to handle the story arc.

But either way, we've got a week to go until launch date, so I'm not expecting too much else news-wise. Still waiting for BBC to drop those teaser images, and for PBS Kids's main Twitter account to recognize the show and rep it with not-so-subtle lil' hints using past seasons. (Only one of those sounds more plausible. I don't think I need to say which one.)

Like I've said before, my first Seren's Study regarding the new series/season, when it drops, will be an episode followup on "Odd Ones In". And before you ask me if I'm going to be reuploading episodes onto my YouTube channel: clearly you haven't been there for all the times I bitched and moaned on Twitter about PBS, their distribution branch, or their security partner taking down my videos that contained snippets of episodes. It's not happenin'. Given how the series/season getting another season/more episodes is dependent on legal viewership, promoting illegal means of watching it feels wrong. If Odd Squad UK gets a continuation of some sort, maybe they can take steps towards improvement. That's what I'm hoping for, personally.

Seren out!

So, with all that being said, I will see you all sometime in early October for that first followup. Keep your eyes peeled for more news in the meantime, because we could either get a trickle or a flood.

Oh yeah, and if you wanna watch the trailer, view it below!

(Editor's note: Managed to kick open the floodgates last night before I even published this. Teaser images are already up, news articles are sharing bits of info...don't ask me how, just accept it.)

[scaryscarecrows]

Antoine waits for Muldoon’s footsteps to die away before flinging the door to his room open, marching down the hall to Jimmy’s, and flinging himself onto the bed.

“I cannot believe,” he says dryly, “that you’re still using that one.”

“Nobody’s called me on it yet.” Jimmy pops his back. “God, this is the nicest weather we’ve seen in months.”

It really is. It’s humid, sure, but it’s warm and compared to Gotham especially, it’s gorgeous. Lush and green. That was probably the real reason Jimmy brought this to the boss’s attention, and likely a good chunk of the reason said boss agreed to it. On paper, this is some kind of zoo. A very hush-hush zoo, and one that leapt at their sterling security track record.

So that track record was fabricated. Shut up. They’re in, and they got in fast enough that nobody’s gotten much of a briefing apart from ‘we’re now zoo security’. Antoine has no idea why Jimmy and the boss deemed this place interesting, and he was happy enough to see the sun again that he really didn’t give a shit.

“So?” he goes. “We’re here to fuck up somebody’s day. What do they have? Illegal tigers, kidnapped baby elephants, what’s the deal?”

“I don’t know.”

The world comes to a screeching halt.

“You don’t know,” he says stupidly. “You’re shitting me.”

“Uh-uh. Ingen’s secretive as hell, man. Everything is referred to in code, and there’s a few encrypted files that refer to lawsuits and settlements for deaths, y’know? No idea what happened or anything. Nothing specified. Big payouts, that’s all I know, to keep everything hush-hush.”

Well, that explains why this place was deemed interesting. Jimmy hates not knowing things. So does the boss, for that matter.

“What the hell?”

“I told you guys this place was freaky.” He pulls a bag of Skittles out of his backpack, tears it open, and pours five of them into his mouth. “And Ingen’s got money for this place, big backers from Japan.”

Weird. But, honestly, so’s the building. The rooms are identical, which isn’t weird–very hotel, or cheap accommodations–but there’s bars hastily welded onto the windows and the doors are awfully sturdy, with heavy-duty electric locks. The windows themselves are made of thick glass, more like the kind you find in a security room than in living quarters, and Antoine will bet it’s bulletproof.

“What do you think they’re trying to keep out?”

Jimmy just grins.

“Don’t know.” He pours more Skittles into his mouth, chews them into one big, gross, rainbow-y gob, and swallows. “Let’s go see if the boss found something neat.”

The hallway is charmingly generic, with heavy use of beige and burgundy, but the carpet’s got…snags, in several areas. Couple of small holes here and there.

Huh.

Jason’s crawled half-under his bed with a blacklight. Riley squeezes between them, finger to his lips, and jumps, landing squarely on the squeaky mattress.

“Motherfuck!” Thud. “What the hell was that for?”

Riley just cackles and splays out, bouncing a few times while Jason crawls back out.

Mind your surroundings, he mocks. 

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

“Anything interesting?”

“Mm-hm. This room has new carpet.”

“And?”

“Look at this.” He leans out into the hallway and shines the blacklight on the carpet there. There’s spots. Not big ones, and not a lot, maybe five, leading into the room. “Blood. Something got in here, must’ve made a mess.”

“Something?”

“It’s a zoo. I’m guessing something.”

“Watch, this place is gonna be some serial killer’s private playground,” Jimmy cracks. Jason shrugs.

“Quiet weekend, then.” He rubs the back of his head and shoots Riley an annoyed glare. “Rogers, I want you to–” He freezes, head swiveling towards the hall. “Someone just walked in, be normal.”

“My love!” Jimmy sweeps Antoine quite literally off his feet. “I had no idea you felt the same way!”

“Get off!”

“We must marry at once.”

Antoine tries to squirm loose without snapping Jimmy’s fingers and promptly gets dropped on the carpet. Ugh. Cheap, scratchy carpet–what’s that up there?

The skylight’s got bars on it too, hastily welded on like on the windows.

[jaybird-fanfics]

Burnt Out: Chapter Three

This guy's apartment was as shitty looking as he was. You almost mistaken the outside of the building as abandoned from how run down it looked. The inside wasn't much better. The walls were gross, once white you imagined, now almost dull brown color. The carpet looked filthy with dirt and whatever else he or someone else had tracked in from outside. His living room was a mess, empty beer bottles here and there. As well as a few used cigarettes butts littered around. His kitchen was even worse. Has he never heard the concept of cleaning? You didn't even want to imagine what his bedroom looked like. 

The walls were paper thin as well, you could hear everything. To your left, it sounded like what seemed to be a heated argument between two people. To your right, someone was blasting loud music. You swore you recognized the band, Deftones maybe? This place would drive you fucking insane if you lived here. But, honestly, you've seen worse. You heard the man shut the door behind you. You turned to him and spoke. 

"Alright, let's get on with it." You say as you walk closer to him. You reach down to the waist line of his pants and began to pull them down. But, he stopped you by grabbing onto your hand. Annoyed, you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Problem?" You ask. Instead of answering, the man just stared at you. You let out a huff. "Look creep, if you don't want me to do anything, why did you-"

"You've changed." He said suddenly. "What?" You ask. He leans down a bit to get a better view of your face. He smirked. "Yeah, it's you alright. But, different." Finally having enough, you jerked your hand away and made for the door. Fuck this. You don't get paid enough to deal with weirdos. Just as you placed your hand on the door handle, you felt yourself being roughly spun around, and back pressed against the door. You look up the man, who had his hands on each side of your head. "Did I say you could leave?" 

You clicked your tongue. "What? You gonna kill me now? Cause I got news for you, my boss will know. He'll see that I haven't came back and he'll send his band of motherfuckers after me. And when they find you hacking my body to pieces, or however you prefer to maim your victims, they'll be on your ass for taking away the boss' most prized whore." You tell him, never breaking eye contact. The man began to laugh. "You think I won't kill them too?" 

You just shrug. "You got a death wish? Do you even know who you're talking to right now?" The man asks. "Yeah, I know." You say. "Dabi right? League of Villains, and all that. I just don't give a fuck. I came here to do my thing and get paid, I don't really care who the money is coming from. Pretty sure I explained this to you already?" Dabi's smirk faltered slightly. "So, you're not scared of dying? Is that it?" He asked. You sigh. "Look, we can go back and forth like this, asking each other questions all night long. But, that's not my job. I don't get paid to make conversation. I get paid to please freaky fuckers like you, then I go home. So, for the last time. Are you going to let me do my job or not?" 

Dabi sighs as well before finally backing off of you. "You really have changed." He says before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a stack of cash. Your eyes widened slightly. That's the most you've seen in a while. He then hands it to you. You look at it before taking it slowly. "But...I haven't done anything?" You say, not taking your eyes off the money. "You clearly want it. Just take it." Dabi mutters. You pocket the money before looking up at him. "I've changed? The fuck does that mean?" 

"Thought you didn't get paid to make conversation." Dabi looks at you with a small smirk. You roll your eyes. "You talk a lot of shit, acting like you know me." You say to him, a bit of venom lacing your tone. "Maybe I do." Dabi shrugs. "Yeah right. We met twenty minutes ago jackass." You scowl. "So don't act like you know me, when you don't know shit!" 

"I know more about you than you think." Dabi says, his deep eyes staring into your own. "Name one." You challenge. 

"I know, that you had a perfect life. You had money, you were at the top of your class, everyone adored you." You felt a wave of shock hit you as he spoke. How did he...

"Then your parents got murdered. You were sent into foster care. And now, you work the streets for some dickhead who treats you like shit." You felt your heart drop. How the fuck did he know all of this? 

"And I know that, you had a best friend. He was always by your side. Until one day...he died."

"Stop!" You finally say. "How...How do you know this!?" Dabi chuckled. "So, it really is you then. Never thought we'd cross paths again, yet, here we are." What the fuck was he talking about? You've never met him until today. You would remember meeting Dabi of all fucking people on more than one occasion. "I understand why you wouldn't recognize me. I fucked myself up pretty bad." Dabi continues. "Take a good look at me, piece it together." You stared at him for a moment, growing more and more confused by the second until it hit you.

That hair...those eyes. You felt your legs go weak, your whole body trembled. No...There was no way it was him...But, the more you stare, it began to make sense. Of course he knew about you, because he was...

"Toya." 

His name left you in a hushed whisper. Dabi chuckled. "There it is. I know this might be a lot to take in. But, try to keep it together. I can't have the whole world knowing I-" Dabi was cut off as he suddenly felt you tackling him in a hug. He was nearly sent falling over, but managed to catch himself. He started to push you away, but stopped as he heard your soft sniffling and felt your shoulders shaking. He stood there, letting you hug him. He wasn't sure what to do otherwise. You slowly lift your head, moving your hands up to place them on his cheeks gently. Dabi flinches but settled slowly. 

"Toya...It's you...It's really you..." You look into his eyes, the same deep blue eyes you remembered from back then. But, everything else about him was so...different. His hair, once flaming red now a dark inky black. He was covered with deep burn scars. His soft voice now low and raspy. No wonder you didn't recognize him at first. "What...What the fuck!?" Now, you were angry. You felt a lot of things actually. You were happy, you were sad, you angry, you were relieved, you were hurt. 

"What the fuck!?" You say again. "You're suppose to be dead! You can't be here! You can't!" You words came out in choked sobs. Dabi puts his hand on the back of your head gently, and pushes it against his chest. "I know. I'm not suppose to be here. I am suppose to be dead." He starts. "But, that's not what life had planned out for me." He looks down at you. "I could say the same for you too. You didn't chose this, did you?" 

You didn't answer him, you just shut your eyes tightly. Trying not to remember that night. That night your life was changed for the worst. "You said I changed. You're right. But you have too." You pull back to look up at him again. "What happened?" You ask, firmness in your tone. Dabi sighed. "I never talked about my family much to you back then, and for good reason. I didn't want you to know what was going on. I didn't want you involved with my shit." He starts. "Something...bad happened before I "died". Something I'll never be able to forget. As long as I live, I will never forget...I'll never forgive. In a way, I did die that day. And was reborn, into...well, this." 

"And those?" You say, looking at his scars. "Who did this?" Dabi let out a short weak laugh. "I did. I did this to myself." He tells you. "What? How?" You ask. "My quirk, the more I use it, well, I get some new burn marks." He explains. That's awful, has it always been like this? You could only imagine how painful it must be. "Does it hurt?" You ask as you carefully touch his scarred wrist with your finger tips. "No. Can't feel anything anymore." Dabi says dully. It still didn't make sense to you. How did this happen? How did it come to this? 

The two of you fell into silence for a while. Just, being in each others company. Eventually the two of you moved to the, rather uncomfortable, couch. Still, neither of you spoke. You didn't really know what to say, despite the thousands of questions swarming in your head. And Dabi, you could say he felt the same. But eventually, you were the first to break the silence.

"So, you became a villain?" You ask suddenly. "Yeah." Dabi muttered before pulling out a cigarette from his pocket. He held the end up to his thumb, and it sparked to life with heat. He brought it to his lips and took a long drag before passing it to you. You take it and take a few puffs yourself before handing it back. "It's weird." You start. "Who would have thought? Well behaved, friendly, and kind hearted Toya would become one of the most wanted villains alive?" Dabi just hummed before taking another drag of the cigarette. 

"You asked a lot of questions tonight. I feel like I should get a turn." Dabi says, glancing at you. "Shoot." You say with a shrug. "How did you get mixed up with this kind of...profession?" He asked, making you frown. "I didn't have a choice." You continue. "I needed money, otherwise I was going to die on the streets. No one was willing to help me, except him..." Dabi stays quiet. You didn't really know what kind of reaction you expected from him. But somehow, the silence was worse. 

All of a sudden, your phone buzzed. Dread filled you as you already knew who it was. You grab your phone and look at the screen. It was Ryuji, of course, demanding you come back now. You sigh heavily before standing up from the couch. Dabi watched you as you head for the door. "Well, this has been...something. Catching up on an old friend who was supposedly dead." You reach for the doorknob but paused when you heard Dabi walking up behind you. "Don't go." You heard him say. Your grip on the doorknob tightens. You wish you didn't have to. You really wish you didn't have to, but, you knew the consequences would be dire if you didn't do as you were told. 

"Like I said. I don't have a choice." You mutter. Before you leave, you turn to Dabi. "Before I go, I have to ask. How did you find me? Or was it just luck that we stumbled across each other?" 

"I have my ways." Dabi smirks. You couldn't help but crack a smile. "You really are a creep." Your smile started to fade. "Bye Toya." Dabi's smirk fell as well. "Don't make it sound like I'm going to disappear again. And you should really start calling me Dabi. Can't have people finding out who I am, you know?" You nod before walking out of the door. "Alright, see you around then? Dabi." 

"Yeah, see you around." 

You and Dabi stare at each other for a moment before you slowly shut the door. You begin to walk away, as you made your way deeper into the city, your mind was filled to the brim with thoughts of Toya. Or, Dabi rather. You couldn't believe it. That your once best friend, is not only back from the dead, but a wanted villain now. Life really wasn't kind. Not if someone as sweet as Toya could turn out like he did.

Soon enough you found yourself at your apartment, where Ryuji would be waiting for you. You inhale and exhale deeply before walking inside. 

[gingerylangylang1979]

Why I’m Not Feelin’ a Sydney Love Triangle

While I can respect fans seeing possibilities for our ingenue having potential with several men on The Bear I just really hope that doesn’t happen. I’m not one of those people that is against ANY romance on the show but having a love triangle does seem a bit soapy and honestly I just don’t think Sydney is that flaky. 

I’m not saying I’ve never loved shows that have a love triangle, I just usually love those shows IN SPITE of there being one. I find it usually makes me not like the person at the center as much even if I previously adored them. Plus, I hate seeing female characters look that indecisive and not self-aware. Something about it just comes across as immature. Maybe it’s just because while I have personally been capable of liking two people at the same time I’ve never been in a Bachelor A or B scenario. It just seems unrealistic that any competent person would be struggling over something like that in pursuit of a deep relationship. Just choose one or choose none. I never walk away from those plot lines viewing the woman as super empowered or desirable, I think she just ends up looking childish.

Now there is poor embattled, repressed Carmy. First, I just don’t want Carmy having to compete with anybody. Boy has enough suffering and doesn’t probably catch feelings easily. It would be nice to see him navigate romance without feeling like he needs to smoke a motherfucker. Second, Carmy needs friends, male friends. He lost a brother who seems to have been more like a stand-in dad. He seems to have been a loner most of his life. As dysfunctional as last season was he did establish bonds with Marcus and Richie and I think he needs camaraderie, not a challenge and bad vibes. There is a male friendship crisis. Let Carmy have guy friends!

Then, we get to the options. Carmy versus Marcus and Carmy versus Richie. 

As much as people harp on a power imbalance between Carmy and Sydney, the greater one exists between Carmy and Marcus (plus Sydney is technically Marcus’ boss, too). Now I can see Carmy maybe getting jealous of the friendship between Sydney and Marcus, I don’t think it will go beyond him mistakenly thinking something is up. And as much as people claim Carmy and Sydney have a strictly friends/mentor vibe that’s the vibe I get from Sydney and Marcus. Yes, they bonded fast but almost too fast like they are family. I see them as the two young Black professionals that are like, hey we in this together. I don’t see any sexual tension, like at all. No longing looks, no stolen glances, no touches that stand out. It’s more like I got your back, let’s giggle and talk shit. Them in a relationship also serves no narrative purpose. There is no challenge. Would either of them grow in a vital way? Would it add to any existing plot lines? No, it would be the definition of having a relationship just to have one, IMO. I also think Chester and Marcus could be a couple. 

Now, Richie. Granted, Richie and Sydney (also his boss) have an intense vibe that could be sexual tension, but this would be the messiest and most disappointing move. Like, serious broken relationships over what would just be merely a lusty hookup. And let’s not forget how disrespectful Richie has been to her. Like, at any other job he would be fired and have a potential lawsuit on his hands. The misogyny and harassment is kind of over the top. Even if the sex was explosive it just would not be enough to redeem how he treated this precious young Black woman just trying to be excellent. It just kind of grosses me out as a young Black woman. I could never be with a white man that treated me like that. We could get to cool, but never lover. Sorry. Richie also is kind of a loser. People say Syd is too good for Carmy (which I balk at, he just needs to heal), so no way in hell Richie is on her level. Richie has some good qualities but we have a man that is just kind of content with mediocre and lives in the past. What is the appeal for our fair lady? Carmy may be struggling emotionally but he has a maturity Richie doesn’t and has accomplished a lot and has a vision... that he shares with Sydney. Plus, Carmy and Richie would never be the same. Carmy is all Cousin got and Cousin is as close to Mikey as he will ever be again. 

So yeah, I know some people may really ship Sydney with more than one person or may just like maximal drama but I’m just not here for that kind of crazy on a show that already has enough crazy. Carmy deserves better, Sydney deserves better. Let the slow burn simmer. 

Bonus: Nobody looks at Sydney like Carmy looks at Sydney. The fucking end.

[ghostie-galaxi]

TO1 playing with your hands/you play with their hands

Jaeyun

Giant ass softy

Adores it

I think he might not notice at first but once you do it like once or twice he'll catch on to it as one of your habits

Looks at you when he notices and literally melts

Probably gets excited and just wraps his hand around yours

When he gets the chance though, he'd probably do the same thing to you and see if you notice

Which you do and smile at him

Probably take turns playing with each other's hands because you both love doing it

And the others would probably notice this being a big deal between who's turn it is to play with who's hand

And they'd probably laugh at you both and cringe from being gross

Well, they'd laugh and tease Jaeyun, maybe not so much you lol

And he'd probably get shy and yell at them, he is leader after all

But the older members will probably thinks it's cute so no big deal with them

And it's not like he's going to stop just because the others are being jerks

He'll deal with it, and it'll be fine

Still continues to take turns playing with your hands because he adores you and wants you to keep doing it

Chihoon

Notices one day and from then on can't get over how cute you are

Just smiles gently at you and let's you continue

Might move your hand though occasionally so you're tracing patterns on his shoulder or back instead of his hand, but would normally let you do your thing with his hand because you're too cute

He'd only do that though if he was stressed or tired, since your touch always makes him feel better

Especially if he's in the studio alone and needs company and inspiration, he'd have you there with him and have you touching him somehow

Might even have you in his lap and your arms around him

Or you'd stand behind him and wrap your arms around his shoulders

But if you were just sitting together somewhere with the members you'd mostly just stick to playing with his hand

Probably tries it to you someday to see why you enjoy doing it so much

Probably doesn't understand though, but he thinks it's cute when you do it

And you get happy when he does it every now and then

Just enjoys when you touch him and likes that you have a habit that is just you touching people lovingly

Donggeon

As a fellow Cancer I can confirm that we are hopeless romantics and simp for any tiny acts of affection

So I can imagine he would too

Definitely notices the first time you do it, especially if you do it for awhile

Doesn't really say anything but inside he's so freaking happy

Let's you continue doing it and silently enjoys it

He's so happy my god-

Eventually he'd probably grab your hand and kiss it, because he needs to match the energy of being the romantic type

Y'all just turn into #couplegoals

Honestly probably tries to get you to do it by putting his hand near yours and hopes you'll take a hint

And if you don't then he'd probably just hold you hand

Appreciates everytime to do play with his hands, and be one way or another tires to return the gesture

But either pulling you closer, wrapping his muscular arms around you, pulling you into/onto his lap, etc.

Just wants to share every and all kinds of affection with you

Still as a Cancer, physical touch is our love language I don't speak for all Cancer's don't @ me

Literally just adores everything about you and everything you do

Chan/Chanhyuk

This motherfucker would be so cocky and flirty when you do this

Thinks it's sweet at first and enjoys your cute habit but gets to the point where he just teases you for it

Saying stuff like "you know, if you want to hold my hand you could've just asked"

To which you'd be like "I don't, I enjoy doing this"

Which he's probably just laugh at and be like "I know I'm just messing with you"

He does really like your cute habit though and hopes you never stop doing it because of his teasing

If you did stop though after that he'd grab you hand again and try to get you to do it

Or grab you hand and starting playing with it too, trying to get you to do it

And then it'd be your turn to be like "you know, if you want to hold hands you could've just asked"

And he'd just shake his head slowly but smiles

He knows he deserved that

Kisses you forehead because he loves you, and your attitude lol

Pulls you closer and cuddles you

Jisu

Probably notices the second you touch him and then gets all excited

Let's you continue doing it while he sits there melting inside

Doesn't really try to play with your hands too, he kinda just enjoys letting you do it

He'd do it to you too as more of a comfort thing

Like if you're upset or he upset you he would come try to hold you hand and rub circles in it to at least try to comfort you

Which you enjoy it too so it normally work that he's doing something you normally do as a way to make you feel better

But if you're actually upset at him normally when he tried to apologize by doing that, if you accept it you'd just end up hugging him

And then after words for the next few days he tried to play with your hands more in hopes to make up for it a little bit

Which might also include hand kissing

But overall, honestly just enjoys your cute habit and let's you do your thing

He likes just having your hands together so likes that you natural just like touching people's hands

Also long as you're only doing that with him 😉

Minsu

Loves it

Like I gets he's one of the older members but he's a total cutie

So he's a sucker for tiny acts of affection

So if you play with his hands he's going to notice

Another one that just gets all excited inside when you do it

And he'd be another one to return the affection by also playing with your hands or doing something else

Like he might play with your hair one day or rub your shoulders or back a lot as a way of trying to show his tiny acts of affection

Sometimes he might just hold onto your hand with both of his sometimes or hold onto your arm just to be closer to you

Super cute all the way around and just loves holding you

And loves when you hold onto him too

I feel like I could see him being a bit insecure about being tiny and cute thinking that you'd want someone who can protect you or is more "manly" so when you do give him back hugs and cuddles with him he tends then to see the positive side that you love him just the way he is

Or if he does tell you about that you'd reassure him saying you like him the way he is because you get to do that with him and he appreciates the little things to you

Which makes him feel like 10x times better than before

He's now your personal ball of fluff so take care of him

J.You/Jeyou

Does enjoy it but I think he'd take it more as a sign to do a bit more skinship

So like if you start doing it out of habit, when he notices he'll put his arm around you, hold your hand, place it on your thigh, etc.

If you really want to continue doing it though, you'd probably have to actually hold his hand so he knows not to move it

Or if does move his hand around your shoulders or something and he notices that you look upset afterward he'll move it back after awhile and let you continue

You'd probably just have to come out and say that you have a habit of playing with people's hands and that you like doing it so when he moves it upsets you

To which then he'll be more considerate and let you play with his hand

Or if his arm is around your shoulders he would give you his other hand to play with

I can see him taking your hand and tracing circles with his thumb on the back of it when his arm is around you

He does think your habit is cute, he just might prefer more skinship than just playing with his hands

Never wants to accidentally hurt your feelings though, so he'll let you do it and tries to be more conscious of it

Might also try to kiss your hand or kiss you behind the ear or something when you're close

Still enjoys it's but probably forgets every now and than that you do it so you try not be too upset if he moves

But he'll probably end up putting his hand back so you can continue

Kyungho

This bitch-

Holy shit when I say I'm so in love with him he's definitely one of my ults

There's an actual video of him mindlessly playing with Woonggi's pinky during some V-Live I think (I'll put the video but warning it's a ship video, idk what V-live it is specifically so I just put the video I found it from)

So literally he already plays with people's hands so like-

All I can imagine is just him doing the same thing when you guys are sitting really close to each other, as his other arm is around your waist and you're leaning into him

And you look down because you felt him and noticed making him look at you while you're still looking at his hand

Before you look up at him with your faces are really close and you share a moment with each other right before you kiss

Like alsjabcoameval •///•

He's definitely going to be the person to play with your hands he's going to notice if you do too

So y'all would always have super cute moment like this

I swear I love him sm

https://youtu.be/yVJMQhxQuY8

Here's the ship video if you want to see what I mean, you can skip to 4:30 if you'd like just the moment.

Jerome/Sungmin

Another cute ass bitch

Probably has dreamed of this moment of having a S/O that plays with his hands

Also another one that's probably a hopeless romantic and just loves these cute things you do

Even if he doesn't really notice at first

Wouldn't notice until he pulls his hand away from you for a second and feels you right there and just looks back at you, completely shocked

Before he has the biggest smile on his face

Can't get over how happy he is and how cute you are

Now Everytime you're sitting next to each other he will basically hand his hand (lol) over to you and make you play with it

Really just enjoys the feeling of you tracing your hand along his fingers and lines on his hand

Or when you brush lightly across his fingertips and it tickles slightly

He gets so giddy off of these little touches

Especially more if it's not just his hands, if you just lightly rub his shoulders or back he'd probably explode

Honestly just a sucker for any sort of affection and loves the light tracing touches

Unless you take that as an opportunity to tickle him in which he probably wouldn't let you do that for like a week until he gives in to you

You'd probably have to start back with playing with his hand though after that, but he still loves it so

Honestly just loves it, and loves you, so yeah

Woonggi

Honestly probably doesn't notice

Like he just doesn't feel it and pays no mind to it

Until he goes to move his hand for whatever reason and he feels you right next to him

Probably gives you a confused look as to why your hand was so close, making you shy away thinking he was annoyed

To which he'll just grab your and hold it thinking you were trying to hold hands with him

You'd smile at him knowing he wasn't annoyed or anything and he'll smile back at you

It might take a little while for him to notice that you just generally play with people's hands

I think at times he'd be kinda bold so he'd probably just ask you straight up what you're doing and why you do it

So you'd just end up telling him and then he'd have to get used to it eventually

He really doesn't mind though when you do it he's just not really used to it

More specifically not used to really noticing it, since the members do sometimes play with his hands cough look at Kyungho's cough

So it would probably be an adjustment period because now when you do it he definitely notices and he's just got to get used to you just doing you're thing

He really doesn't mind though when you do it and if he hurts your feelings about it accidentally he'll be sure to apologize and encourages to continue

He still tends to enjoy it and thinks it's a cute habit of yours, but unlike most of the others he just doesn't really pay much attention to it

Unless something really bad happened and you stopped completely for a while, he'll be happy to see you getting back into your habit when you're with him, as a sign that you're getting better

So yeah, still likes it, but doesn't obsess over it really like the others

[gwoongi]

wordless pt.4

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick au), sugar daddy au, angst, crack, fluff rating: mature words: 3.5k warnings: toxic relationships, non graphic sex a/n: u guys asked and i delivered...tag yourself i’m me saying dancer in the dark was coming first....i was wrong...this is also very sweet considering part 5 will not be :D enjoy while u can!

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(31) Pulling a chair out for them to sit down at the table.

Jeongguk’s not a gentleman.

Everybody knows it, and he’s not ashamed of admitting it. Half of the time, he thinks that it’s what makes him unique, at least. If you (or anybody else, even though since you walked out on him that one time, he’s been seeing all the others less and less) were going to be with somebody, then you might as well just make it different. Spice it up a little bit.

“It will be nice.” Jeongguk, because he’s not a gentleman, is not really listening to you. He sits behind the steering wheel and tightens his hand against the wheel, the other is on the clutch.

“Are you listening to me?”

“No,” Jeongguk replies. He turns the corner, and the car slightly leans you to the right.

A sigh fills the car as he pauses as a set of traffic lights further down the street.

This red light drags forever, and Jeongguk sighs instead and looks at you pointedly, “What, then?”

It takes reluctance to pull your gaze away from the pigeons near the bins on the side of the road, but you do, and you look at Jeongguk. “I just think it will be really nice to grab dinner together.”

“We do that all the time,” Jeongguk says.

“Yeah, but I don’t mean us, or just us,” you affirm, “I mean, like all of us. Family, I guess.”

Jeongguk bristles. “Family? We don’t have any family, baby.”

“We do,” you moan. “I mean. Not family-family, but family. The kind of family we get to choose. Taehyung, and Eunji and whoever.”

Jeongguk nods sarcastically, “Oh. Wrong F word, Y/N, those people are called friends.”

“Oh, whatever then,” you huff, turning back towards the window. “Forget I said anything, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk wants to forget, but he doesn’t. Something about that line, about the way that it stuck with him: The kind of family we get to choose. He thought about it all night, groaned, and then swore and called Taehyung. Alright motherfucker, we’re going to dinner with Y/N so you better shut the fuck up, get a suit, and meet us at that fancy Gangnam restaurant.

So, it’s a Friday evening, and it feels like a Disney Channel crossover episode. Eunji definitely feels out of place in this restaurant, and Jeongguk acts uncomfortable about the way Taehyung sits opposite you, gauging your every move and word with overacted enthusiasm. Actually, all Jeongguk is thinking about is the moment that they got here.

“Here, honey, let me get that for you,” had appeared to be Taehyung’s favourite sentence to say to you; he used it when he opened the door for you, and again with the chair to the table. Jeongguk sat seething, almost red like a ruby. Eunji sips nervously from her glass as Taehyung laughs again at something you said.

Dinner went great, he would have to admit that.

“Oh, we booked the patio for desserts,” Taehyung says. One of Jeongguk’s other friends, Seokjin (who honestly came to observe rather than to fill in for the surprising lack of family at this family dinner) looks left and right to each person on the table and follows the crowd as they leave for the patio once the main courses are done.

Taehyung once again reaches for the door and lets you walk outside. As Jeongguk passes Taehyung at the door, he glares at Taehyung with eyes that could murder. Taehyung doesn’t waver but he does get the hint, even more so as you stroll towards the table. Before Taehyung can even move towards the table, Jeongguk curves in front and puts his hand on the back of your chair.

“Here you go, baby, let me sit next to you,” Jeongguk says, dragging it out for you to sit. You watch him with one raised eyebrow but say nothing. Taehyung says nothing for a few minutes but decides to get right back to it as the desserts begin. It pisses off Jeongguk to the point where his hand leaves fingerprints in your thigh, but you can’t find it in you to be mad about it.

(32) Wrapping a blanket around them when they are sitting on the couch and watching a show.

“You gotta stop letting yourself in here, it scares the shit out of me.”

“I own this dump.”

You gape over your shoulder, “Fucker, you own this dump that you call a dump but you gave me this dump, it’s my dump, don’t call it a dump.”

“Say dump one more time,” Jeongguk warns, shrugging off his jacket and ruffling his hair. It’s wet thanks to the torrential rain outside. His socks squelch across the floor because he left his slippers back at his place, and he’s not here often enough to have his own pair at your apartment.

The apartment is toasty and warm, the heating on high. Except the living room is chilly and dark, dark blue almost.

“What are you watching?”

Jeongguk moves towards your bedroom but can still hear you as he moves.

“Just this show I found,” you reply, watching the screen. “Dead To Me.”

“Never heard of it,” he yawns, and emerges from the room. He’s holding a heavy blanket in his arms, moving to the living room to sit next to you. He plops next to you and glances at the screen, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders, over your head like a cocoon.

You laugh softly, shifting it off your head and leaning up against him. “It’s American. It’s got Velma in it.”

“Linda Cardellini?” Jeongguk asks, settling back. “She’s hot as fuck.”

“I know, that’s why I thought I’d watch it, I love her,” you say.

Jeongguk wraps an arm around your shoulder and smushes closer towards you.

“Good day?” you ask quietly.

He takes a few seconds, like he’s truly trying to think about whether he wants to answer or not.

“Okay,” he admits. “Don’t care, it’s over, I’m here, don’t wanna think about work.”

You don’t push him to talk, and instead, let him sit next to you. He likes the darkness because there’s no way you can see his discomfort, his pain, the blood under his fingernails.

(33) Throwing away their piles of tissues when they have a cold.

Jeongguk travels for work a lot, and it’s no secret to anybody he knows. It was midday when he got a call, just a few words over the phone, and then he was moving out of the shower and into the bedroom to get ready.

He had told you to stay, stay until he got back. Unfinished business, he said, that would need dealing with when he got home. So you did, you stayed and he left, and that was that.

Jeongguk sighs and shuts the car door. Until next time, he thinks to himself as he watches the car pull away. Frowning, he straightens his blazer and walks up the steps to the complex he lives at and enters. When he gets to his apartment, he kicks his shoes off right away and as he steps inside, he notices that the apartment is unusually silent.

Normally at his home, his big mansion that he loves up in the hills, there’s some sort of noise. Maybe it’s the sound of the TV on in the kitchen, or the bubbles in the hot tub, or the sound of Elio prowling around the bedroom. This apartment is in central Seoul, closer to work and closer to school. He hates how silent it is, how empty it feels.

“Y/N?”

There is no instant reply. He moves across the apartment, searching silently.

“Babe, you here?”

Worry bubbles in his stomach and he moves in search of you. After searching everywhere, Jeongguk scoffs like it’s a sick joke that you’re not here, until he hears a noise, a croak and a cough from the spare bedroom.

“Y/N?” calls Jeongguk. He moves to the door and twists the handle, and is a few shuffles inside when a grottal, gross noise emerges from the darkness.

“What?” he asks.

“I said don’t come in here,” you croak out in reply, because it’s you, and who else would it be in his apartment?

Jeongguk enters and reaches for the light, pausing when you grunt in his direction. He can see you in the dim light of the spare bedroom, the sun outside the curtains, and he suppresses a smile.

“What happened? I said we had unfinished business.”

“I know,” you rasp. “But one of the kids in my class came to the lab with a sore throat, I thought I’d be fine. But, ta-da.” He can see in the light that there’s a plethora of tissues around your body, like a barrier. So many, snotty and probably damp and scrunched into balls. “Guess he had a cold.”

He grimaces, shuffling into the bedroom despite you telling him otherwise. It’s unsurprisingly stuffy in the room, a given since the room is closed off from the sunlight that bleeds behind the curtains. Like you requested, he doesn’t turn on the lights, keeping you safe in the darkness.

“Shitty kids,” Jeongguk grunts. Finding a lack of interest in the germs that breed in the tissues scrunched into balls, he moves them from the covers and tosses them towards the small bin next to the bedside cabinet. You sniffle, snotty and stuffed, and peer from over the duvet at him.

Jeongguk looks tired, as he always does when he gets back from work. He sports a brand new cut on his lip, one that will probably scar when it’s done showing crimson. There is blood on his shirt, and you know that it’s probably not his. That doesn’t make you feel better.

“How long you had it?” Jeongguk asks.

“Two or three days,” you estimate. He’s been gone almost a week, the seventh day being tomorrow. “Should go soon, don’t worry.”

He smiles, “Not worried. Did you get medicine, or something?”

You sniff once, the air hot in your nostrils. “Nope. I haven’t managed to leave since I came down with it. I only went to the door to collect soup and then I went back to bed in here.” Another sniff and Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise with amusement, “Didn’t want to infect your bedroom, so I came here instead. Hope that’s okay.”

“Sure, it’s okay,” he replies. “I’ll find something for you, I’ve got a bunch of shit that might help.”

“Really?”

Jeongguk nods, “Yeah. Stay put, buttercup, B-R-B.”

(34) Mending an item of their clothing that was ripped.

“Who even takes the subway anymore?”

In reply, Jeongguk gets an appalled scoff. “I’m sorry, not all of us are rich enough to have fucking chauffeurs taking us places.”

“What’re you talking about, you’re rich,” Jeongguk says, his voice kind of muffled due to the sewing needle between his teeth. He sits on the edge of his sofa, your skirt spread over his lap like a napkin at dinner. Down the leg, the seam is torn, showing what could have been an erotic amount of leg. Unfortunately, he’d only got a glimpse of your skin when you shuffled into his home.

As the CEO of ripping his clothes, Jeongguk became familiar with sewing over the years, figuring it was less expensive to sew than it was to replace. So, of course, when your skirt got torn on the subway home, Jeongguk tested his principles and dug out the sewing needle.

“No thanks to you,” you sigh. “You didn’t need to, by the way.”

“Need to what, pay you?” Jeongguk laughs, sewing the seam. “Come on, Y/N, it’s overdue.”

“True, but I don’t really need your money that much anymore.”

“Funny, since you needed it when you didn’t have it,” he sighs dramatically. “Anyway, it’s barely a dent out of my bank account, I wanna spoil you. You’re welcome.”

You frown, shuffling to the couch and throwing yourself over the back so that your head is by his legs. Jeongguk spares you a glance from the skirt and smiles, returning back to the work.

“Thanks,” you mumble. Nothing is said, but he appreciates it, even if he did it out of guilt.

(35) Running out in the middle of the night to get a food item they’re craving.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“What the fuck?”

Jeongguk shoots up from bed into a sitting position, his eyes blown wide as he stares at you. Whenever Jeongguk invites you to stay at his apartment, he always keeps a light on in the evening. His apartment is in a somewhat busier area compared to his house, which is stationed in a private neighbourhood only touched by the wealthiest of the wealthy. His apartment was supposed to be for ease, for if he had to do dirty work in the city and didn’t want to tie his name to a hotel. It wasn’t often that you stayed the night here.

In the light of the dim lamp on your side of the bed, Jeongguk can make out your face. You’re still lying down, staring up at the ceiling. After he stares long enough, you look over at him.

“Why the fuck would you say that,” he breathes, like it’s an insult.

“Wow, would it really be so bad?” you ask, curious now.

He blinks like an owl. “Obviously, dipshit.”

Sigh. “And here I was thinking it would be like the movies and you’d love me.”

“Even if I loved you, do you think I wanna have kids?” Jeongguk questions rhetorically, because he’s actually already talked to you about this. Jeongguk never wants to have children. His life is constantly on the line. There is no way he’d bring a child into the world, just for them to either be used as bait, or grow up in a world without their father. He knows how that feels.

“Fair,” you reply. “Still.”

Jeongguk shudders, it’s cold in here. “Wait, are you for real?” He shifts, the covers make a disruptive noise in the night, “what makes you think that you’re...you know…”

“I keep getting weird cravings,” you explain, like it’s the craziest science that he won’t understand. As soon as you say it, he feels almost instantly better. It’s not like cravings are the most reliable symptom of a pregnancy. Besides, you’re on the pill, and when you’re not, he’s safe. He’s not an idiot, he’s not about to accidentally ruin both of your lives with a few squirts.

“Like what?”

You shrug, “Really craving the Fairway to Heaven ice-cream.”

Jeongguk scoffs. Actually, it’s almost a tch under his breath. “Yeah, of course, you’re craving the most expensive icecream. Predictable. Cute, almost.” He pats your leg over the covers, “We all know Phish Food’s the better flavour, by the way.”

“Tell that to the cravings, sir,” you reply. You frown, then, “I’ll pick some up tomorrow. Maybe I’ll dream the cravings away…”

“As if,” Jeongguk barks, knowing you better. If he knows you at all (which he confidently does), you’ll press about this for the rest of the night until you fall asleep bored of trying. So, Jeongguk enjoys the last few seconds inside a warm bed before climbing out, switching on the light so it burns your eyes as the room fills with it.

“Ouch, too bright!”

“Pussy,” he smirks. “Bro, get your coat, we’re going out.”

“Oh yeah, at midnight?” you ask sarcastically, sitting up. “Where’re we going?”

“Ice cream,” he replies, like it’s obvious. To him it is. “That store down the road sells it and it closes at 2, so get your big coat and let’s get moving!”

“Are we seriously going to get ice cream at midnight?” you laugh, doing as he says.

“We both know you’re not gonna shut up about it if we don’t.”

Jeongguk grabs his own coat and zips it up. Nobody’s gonna care that he’s wearing PJ’s, and even if you’re sleepy and grumpy on the way there, it’s better than keeping you at the apartment alone. He’d have to be crazy to leave you here than he is going out for ice cream at midnight.

(36) Helping brush their hair after a shower.

You’re the best he’s had, really.

Jeongguk knows this, because he’s not stupid or blind or oblivious. Compared to the other girls he’s had, and the ones he left not too long ago, he knows how lucky he is to have someone like you. Someone who doesn’t just want him for the sex and the money. Although scary, it’s reassuring.

Jeongguk comes out from the kitchen to the bedroom where you’re sitting, hunched over a laptop watching a YouTube video that bores you to sleep. Your hair is damp and matted, left to dry as you watch. Fourty minutes into an hour video. Jeongguk narrows his eyebrows, wondering if he’d ever have the patience to watch something like that. Probably not. He barely has the patience when he works, and he has a job that demands it 99% of the time. When he can be hasty he is, but when his job is to kill and protect, patience is a must.

As you watch, Jeongguk moves to sit behind you and he sets his chin on your shoulder, boredly looking at the screen. Your eyes are glossed over, possibly not even watching at all. Regardless, he stays there and slowly rakes his fingers through your hair, straightening out the curls that are close to knots.

He still blames the video for you falling asleep, although it’s probably his fingers. He won’t admit it.

(37) Making sure to be quiet while they’re taking a nap.

It’s not just that. Jeongguk enjoys being gentle, but only when nobody can see him doing it. When you fall asleep, slouched over like a zombie, he smiles and gently closes the screen of your laptop. Whatever garbage your Uni have you watching can be watched tomorrow.

Until then, you must sleep. He moves the laptop away to the cabinet across the room and comes back, collecting you in his arms and moving you into the bed. Once the covers are draped across your body, he takes extra care to be quiet leaving the room and shutting the door. There’s some food leftover in the kitchen from dinner that he’ll eat before joining you, and you don’t wake up, not even when the bed dips as he climbs into it.

(38) Letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt.

Despite his work often demanding him to be around people, Jeongguk isn’t really a big fan of crowds. If he can get out of going out in public, he will jump at the opportunity. He just can’t see why you’re so miffed about not being with the crowds of people on the Hangang Bridge waiting for the fireworks- he’s got a balcony that looks out over the city and the river, so what’s the big deal?

“It’s all about the vibe,” you say with a slight sigh. Your arms are draped over the balcony banister, legs slowly vibrating in the bitter winter air. “As a broody killing machine, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“That stings,” Jeongguk replies, closing the door behind him as he wanders back towards you with a blanket. His eyes glaze over your face as he arrives and Jeongguk rolls his eyes, “Hold your face that way and it’ll stick.”

“Heard it all before from my Mom,” you reply boredly. A quiet thanks is spoken as you take the blanket shield and snuggle closer to his chest, staring expectantly at the black sky. “What time will they start?”

Jeongguk presses his cheek to your hair. “Considering three minutes ago it was only ten to midnight, I can safely assure you that it is not time yet.”

“I’m bored.”

“Why are you so hard to please today?” Jeongguk groans. He wriggles around, “And don’t try me with that ‘I think I’m pregnant’ bullshit. Spare me the moody bitch performance for today, please?”

You pug to yourself. “Sorry. Sorry, you’re right. And I shouldn’t be so...I don’t know. I’m sorry. Thank you for tonight.”

Jeongguk shakes his head slightly. He may never understand women.

“You really that mad over the bridge?” he asks quietly, his mouth against your head. It’s hot, and you lean back towards his minimal body warmth. “I’m sorry I didn’t pass your vibe check for tonight, but I thought it might be romantic or something for us to be up here.”

You almost laugh. “It is romantic. You’re right.”

Jeongguk brushes it off. Lately something has shifted, a comfort in the air that grants you permission to be in his life as someone more important than a ‘sugar baby’. Dare he say it, but Jeongguk actually considers you a friend. Now, you’re at the point where neither of you give much of a shit about the sugar clause you wrote yourselves into quite some time ago. An unspoken thing hangs there like Christmas mistletoe, seen but prayed away.

Distant laughter and a bang grows near the direction of Hangang bridge, and Jeongguk feels you perk in his arms. As a small warmth bursts across his chest, Jeongguk hisses in the cold and stuffs his hands up your shirt, where they curve around your body to cheekily hold both of your boobs. You jump, because his hands are freezing.

“You’re cold!” you whine. “What are you doing?”

Jeongguk shrugs, “My hands are freezing. I’m keeping them warm.”

You briefly glance down at his knuckles outlined by your jumper. “Oh yeah, because I’m sure that’s the reason why you’re literally groping my tits right now.”

“They feel warmer already,” he continues.

(39) Giving them your dessert when you eat out because it’s their favourite.

On the rare occasion that guilt consumes Jeon Jeongguk, he allows his guilt to control his feet. Usually, they end up on a pathway to the bedroom, or in the car where he drives you somewhere nice, or perhaps he picks you up from school instead of cruelly leaving you to take the subway. Now that things have shifted slightly in your dynamic, Jeongguk isn’t sure what flies as romantic anymore. He doesn’t want to leave you with the wrong impression. You’ve had the talk together, the one that touched upon what the future looked like and how quite definitely it looked as though you wouldn’t be with each other, but surely, dinner overlooking the sea in Busan isn’t too fancy or romantic, right?

“Here is your patbingsu.” The waiter circles around the table and gently lays a dish in front of you. Jeongguk carefully watches over his glass of wine as the waiter also announces his own dessert, the exact same. His eyes move down to the display set before him.

He’s never really been keen on dessert, but Jeongguk is the type of person who doesn’t enjoy the idea of one person eating when the other isn’t. So he had just ordered the same thing as you had, nice and simple, without giving it much thought.

“I love this,” you sigh happily, fiddling the metal spoon in your hand and peering up at him, “This is sick. Thank you.”

“I didn’t make it,” he replies.

You roll your eyes, spooning out some of the dessert, “you know what I mean.”

Something in the beach-fronted restaurant shifts as the sun sinks deeper into the ocean, and Jeongguk twirls his spoon anxiously whilst observing the patbingsu. He’s never been a huge fan of bingsu in general, and he looks with slight distaste at the green blob on top of what looks like cornflakes. He doesn’t get Korean desserts. Why can’t Korea be satisfied with an ice-cream sundae?

He dips his spoon into the dessert, taking a polite amount and very quickly taking a bite. For around twenty seconds, he thinks it’s okay, but the aftertaste makes his whole body shudder. Fucking hell, he really hates desserts.

After a few minutes, you finally move your attention away from the scraped clean dessert dish and take a glance over at Jeongguk, who is already watching you with a lack of interest for his own dessert.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, subtly wiping around your mouth just in case. You take in the sight of his unfinished treat, “not hungry?”

Jeongguk shrugs awkwardly, “I don’t really like bingsu.”

“Then why’d you order?” you question quietly.

“I panicked,” he replies, “you ordered it and I don’t like desserts but I didn’t want you to be eating alone.”

You pause, eyebrows quirked: “I don’t mind.”

He sighs. Of course. “Well…” He twirls the dessert dish and pushes it in your direction, “Since it’s your favourite, or whatever, you can have it.”

Your eyes light up, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool,” you squeal, happily taking it from him. “Thank you~”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes playfully and sits back in his chair. Whatever he didn’t eat from the dessert he instead eats up in the sight of you.

(40) Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh.

You don’t quite know how you ended up at Jeongguk’s work, but here you are. You could probably trace it back to Taehyung swinging by to get you from school since Jeongguk felt bad he couldn’t, and to be honest, you had been confused when Taehyung drove past the turning to your apartment and kept going further into the city.

Jeongguk’s workplace is pretty big, but still significantly hidden inconspicuously to avoid attention. As you slowly wander around the hallways, you begin to daydream about where Jeongguk’s office may be, what he might be doing and what he might think if he sees you.

Quietly passing through what appears to be a recreation room, filled with tired faces who blink curiously as you brush by, you finally step out into a web of hallways that connect to small rooms walled in glass. Each is empty, besides one at the very end that bustles with tense conversation, and you’re drawn to the sound of Jeongguk’s voice as it carries through the silent hallways.

You push forward, stopping not too close to the doorway so that if somebody who isn’t him happens to see you, you can make a hasty escape.

The room is filled with strange faces, strange men in tight suits and briefcases next to their feet. A man stands up beside Jeongguk at the head of the table, his hands animated as he presses on about something you’re not well read on. Hell if you know a single thing about gun models and firing ranges. You can just about tell apart Fortnite weapons and that’s only because they’ve got colours.

Jeongguk, however, is a sight that captures your gaze. For a while, he sits with his back turned to the man standing, his eyes observing each individual around the table, of who squirm under his watch. He eventually looks back at the man, his jawline sharp and his hair styled so that it only slightly falls into his eyebrows. God damn it, he looks sexy as hell; his shirt is black, cuffed, unbuttoned at the top revealing his skinny collarbones. He’s probably wearing the tight trousers too, the ones that make his ass look good.

A thought strikes you: how would he feel if he saw you outside? While it shouldn’t, the thought fills you with adrenaline. The idea of not him but somebody else seeing you, a girl dressed in white jeans and a red shirt, your coat discarded somewhere on an office chair. Would he be mad? Would he be turned on?

Would you die?

Deciding that the worse case scenario only involved you being yelled at, you decide to dip your toes into the water and tease the sharks; you wonder how long you can hold this silly face for until he finally notices you out there.

It seems like a long shot, and you’re quite close to giving up when finally Jeongguk returns his attention to the table. Heads begin to move in conversation, and Jeongguk’s gaze passes from gentleman to gentleman until they pause abruptly, locking onto you behind the glass. For a moment, he does nothing besides stare. Perhaps he doesn’t care. Then, his eyes widen, like he’s confused and alarmed and slightly impressed. Before his disturbed posture is noticed, you laugh to yourself and run away, back in the direction you tiptoed through.

(Later, Jeongguk finds you in Taehyung’s office sitting on an uncomfortable and torn armchair, a Rubix cube moving back and forwards in your hands. You’re not matching any colours. It’s going nowhere. He smiles.

“Field trip?” he questions, making your head snap up suddenly. He slides next to you on the free chair, “I’ll skin that prick alive, you know you’re not supposed to be here.”

“I know, but I’m here against my will!” you promise, putting the cube down. “I really wanted to go home. Dead To Me episodes don’t watch themselves, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs. “I gotta go to a meeting again, then I’ll drive us home, okay?”

You nod. “I’m sorry I distracted you, by the way. I realise now I’m actually very lucky that it was you who saw me and nobody else.”

Jeongguk laughs, kissing your forehead as he rises to leave. “Yeah, well, I’m the most dangerous guy in there, so consider yourself very lucky.”)

[lihikainanea]

Does Tiger ever get nervous or shy around Bill? Like in the bedroom?

I definitely think she does babes.

Bill is kind of a masterpiece you know? You can’t be successful at the whole fame game unless you’re good looking, and Bill is just...man, he’s the real deal.

And I think sometimes tiger doesn’t really realize it, or at the very least--she forgets. She’s known him for so long, she knows him so well, that to be quite honest his looks are the last thing she registers anymore. She knows his heart--his kindness, his gentleness, how much he takes care of her. How good he is to her. That’s what she sees, that’s what she loves, and that’s what turns her to total goo inside.

But maybe every once in awhile she gets that reminder that...god, he’s fucking stunning. Sometimes it happens when he’s dressed up at premieres, in a perfectly tailored suit with his hair blowdried all nice and smelling great. He looks incredible in those moments, debonair and every bit like a sculpted Adonis from a 1940′s gangster movie. The bad boys who are so good. Mind you, tiger’s favourite is usually after--she travels with him for moral support and company but she’d never be caught dead at these events--her favourite is when he comes back to the room in the wee hours of the morning. She hears his deep sigh, hears him undo his tie and unclasp his watch. Minutes later she hears the shower going, and soon after it’s turned off--and then there he is, walking out of the bathroom naked. She can see all the sinewy lines of his long body in the moonlight, hears him sigh again as he ruffles a towel through his hair, and then she feels it. The bed dips down as he crawls onto it, kissing her skin softly, and then he presses his weight against her as he just lies down on top of her. He smells like soap and like him, his hair slightly damp, his skin still warm from the shower. She scritches his scalp softly and seconds later, she hears his soft snore.

He’s beautiful in those moments, too.

But I think...I think maybe tiger’s mind gets away on her when he’s NOT there. It’s almost impossible to feel self-conscious when he’s around because he rally does make her feel beautiful--the way he always wants to touch her, the way he dotes on her, the way he physically relaxes when she’s around. The way he pounces her sometimes right when she crawls into bed, or how he’s always tugging playfully on her towel when she gets out of the shower, or how he whines and gets all upset if she wears clothes to bed. It’s hard not to feel beautiful when you’re treated like a goddess.

But if he’s away for awhile, maybe he comes back and he’s just...god, the motherfucker is glowing. His eyes are brighter and even more clear than usual. His hair is much lighter, and a little longer. His skin is beautifully bronzed, his cheeks slightly pink, and as he playfully takes his shirt off and throws it at her tiger can see a tan line just underneath his low-slung waistband. His eyes have that devilish glint, for once he looks well rested after a shoot, and tiger is having a hard time pulling herself together.

“I have 18 hours of plane on me,” he murmurs against her lips, “I need 4 minutes, and then you’re mine.”

And with that he heads to the bathroom and starts the shower.

But like, that’s when tiger’s mind goes on overdrive. Maybe his co-star on this movie just happened to be real pretty and just his type (Elizabeth Olsen? ElizABETH OLSEN) and maybe tiger has had a bit of a hard time at work or she’s a little PMS-y and has kind of been binging. She has a breakout situation resulting in a few zits on her chin, she’s been living in her grungy sweatpants basically since he left, and maybe she thought she could get away with one more day of not washing her hair this morning but suddenly by early afternoon it’s looking greaser than ideal and overall she’s just feeling like a hot mess.

So then Bill comes out--honestly, the dude just never uses towels--and he’s already reaching for her, and he smells so good and god did he get even more buff? who the hell gets more buff when they’re working 16 hours a day? And tiger can’t even squeak before he’s pulling at her clothes and biting at her neck. But maybe she whines a little, makes a noise that he doesn’t like--he knows the difference between her needy whines, and her uncomfortable ones--and he stops.

“Whoa hey, look at me kid,” he says softly and he takes her face in his hands, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she mumbles.

“Tiger.”

“I don’t feel so good,” she murmurs lowly. And Bill kind of takes it in the logical sense, and his hand presses gently to her forehead to check for a fever as he coos.

“I’m fat and bloated and pimply and--”

Oh. Ohhhh he gets it now. And the last time she talked like this about herself, she got a heavy punishment. He takes a step back and his jaw clenches.

“You want to try that again?” he challenges with his arms crossed, “And don’t press your luck kid. You won’t get too many chances with me today.”

Tiger shifts nervously, and to his slight surprise, maybe she kind of just heaves out a sigh and sinks to her knees in front of him. She’ll be calmer this way. Things are always more clear when she’s like this. Bill exhales a soft sigh, but he tangles his fingers gently through her hair as he steps forward. She rests her forehead on his knee.

“Out with it,” he says. And it’s an order now, so it’s easier for her. And she won’t lie, because good girls don’t lie and she really, really wants to be good for him right now. She’s missed him.

“I don’t feel very confident right now,” she says quietly, “I missed you. I...I want to be with you. But I feel a little...gross right now.”

A snap of his fingers and her eyes shoot to his immediately. 

“Good girl,” he praises as he strokes her cheek with his thumb, “You’re not gross. Have you been following our rules while I’ve been gone? Taking care of yourself?”

“The best I can,” she murmurs, “But it was hard this time. Maybe I didn’t so as good as I wanted to. I was stressed. And I’m...I’m nervous for you to see me naked.”

He smiles softly at that, gives her a little head scritchie and then he kneels down so he’s right there on the floor with her, and kisses her deeply.

“Tiger, you naked is like my favourite thing in the world,” he tells her as he pulls away, “You’re beautiful kid. In every way.”

She dances a few fingers up his chest as he ducks to keep her gaze.

“I’ve really missed you,” she chews nervously on her bottom lip, “And I...I want to, but--”

“Shirt on then?” he asks. She nods, gratefully. She gets like this sometimes, and it’s usually after he’s been gone awhile. He’ll love her in whatever way she needs.

“And hands up?” he says, referencing her sporadic request that he sometimes not let his hands roam, or squeeze at any bits she’s not feeling too great about yet.

“I don’t know,” she says truthfully, “Can we play that one by ear?”

“Anything you want kid,” he says with another kiss--she nips at him softly and he can’t even stop the way he pushes more into her, groaning into it.

“Okay listen, cards on the table?” he says breathlessly as he pulls away, “We need to talk about this. But seriously, if I don’t get inside you in the next 15 seconds I think I actually might fuckin’ die, kid.”

“Same bud. Mulligan?”

“Mulligan.”

And before she knows it she’s picked up and thrown on the bed.

[entityskillcount-archive]

Thoughts on everyone in the realms?

"Short Answer; I made a chart. Not a well drawn chart, mind you, but a chart. Sometimes you don't wanna put effort into drawing 50 something faces"

"Long answer, uh....well lemme go down the list"

Claudette: My Starflower~!! She's so sweet and kind and amazing in trials and every time I see her I swoon a little- I love her so much~ Dwight: He's cute- And he's a good leader, despite his nervous personality, he knows how to bring a group together. Final guy potential. Ash: ....Don't...Tell him I said this? But uh....Evil Dead was one of my biggest comfort series, the thing that got me through losing both my parents....the thing that helped me transition, pick my name, and fueled my FX hobby. And I'm still attached, even realizing he's a real person and all- But...it's weird to just, be upfront with something like that, so I'm just...burying it as best as I can. David: He's a little rough around the edges but he’s good to have in a trial, plus when you can get past the walls, he’s nice to talk to. Kate: Her music by the campfire is calming and she’s such a sweetheart. If we were in a better situation I’d love to learn Guitar from her, but, it’s hard when you’re a moment away from a trial at any given time. Amalthea (@askthewidowstars OC): She judged my entire vibe but jokes on her I’m the one who snagged a cutie for life- Meg: If I had a dollar for every time she left me for dead I would have enough money to paint the entire campfire in solid gold. The only time we’ve ever properly talked was about SAW traps and 90% of it was her admitting she could beat every single trap because she was ‘built different’  Jeff: He’s a sweetheart and really nice to be around. Sometimes when we’re by the campfire in our downtimes I’ll let him draw on my arm. it kinda makes me want a tattoo, honestly. If we ever get out of here, I might get one. Steve: Bros!! We kinda make up team ‘Altruistic Himbo’, Plus the ‘Babysitter/Brother’ Vibes mesh really well. I kinda wanna re-style his hair though, mostly because it looks fluffy, and nice to play with.  Quentin: Bros!! We’re gonna make matching T-Shirts about committing Arson on Freddy in particular. He’s fun to hang around in our downtime, and I hope there’s a chance he can get some actual rest, even in here. He deserves it. Adam: If Dwight wasn’t the leader I feel like he’d take over the Reigns. I feel like he’s the calm type that doesn’t handle energetic types well though. Which, y’know, makes things hard.  Nea: Anytime I see her she’s either sneaking around the map and watching everyone get killed, or doing something stupid to get herself killed. I’d get grey hair if We were actually friends.  Feng: Gamer bros- I got to find out we actually played a lotta the same stuff before we were taken by the Entity. We get a chance to nerd out in between trials- Laurie: Best Final Girl hands down. I kinda hope she can teach me Decisive Strike one day- I feel like its also just a little awkward since again, still a fan of Myers Nancy: She doesn’t agree that Demo’s a good boy, which makes sense, but we but heads over it. Also I’m pretty sure she wants me dead for touching the bones around the map one too many times. They’re just too tempting.... Jake: He’s pretty quiet, but he’s helpful in trials. I heard he’s been to a convention a few times, but I don’t think he’s actually into it as much as I thought...Which kinda sucks. I’d love more cosplay buddies y’know? Yui: Kinda makes me want a motorbike. We don’t talk but she seems really cool. A little too cool to me around if that makes sense.  Yun-Jin: She benefits off of throwing everyone else under the bus. And 90% of the time she will throw everyone under the bus. Even if she needs actual help to escape the trial.  Cheryl: Cheryylll!!  She’s really cool and honestly would add her to the ‘Can kill god if she was not nerfed’ Squad. Especially since y’know, she has- I bet if we got enough of the kids together we could just beat the Entity’s ass. I know she could.  Tapp: Always been a fan of Tapp before I was taken, although I feel like he’d wanna arrest me if we weren’t in the Entity’s Realm. I might be a little too excited for my own good about Kramer’s work. I don’t think he’d believe the fact its a movie either.  Ace: He’s kinda like the Uncle of the group around the campfire, but, coming into trials, He’s still for saving his own skin- You can also only stand dad jokes for so long. Especially in an eternity like this.  Leon: He’s cool!!! I got so excited first realizing He and Jill were here, and I wanna get a chance to talk to him about everything that went down, but Haven’t got the chance. He’s nice inside of Trials though, usually doesn’t leave anyone behind. Not a fan of getting blinded though.  Jill: She knows how to lead the trials well, and I look up to her a lot. She’s always been such a badass!!  Bill: If Bill gets his hands on a weapon the entire Realm would be fucked. Badass as hell and Kinda scary. Another one on the list of ‘Entity needed to Nerf’ Felix: You’d think a Childless Father and a Fatherless son would be able to bond a bit more, but, I think we each kinda get the same vibe of homesickness from one another. He’s kind though, and it’s neat to see his work whenever we’re by the campfire.  Elodie: She’s better at helping out than most of the others, but she’s still in a survival of the fittest mindset. I loved hearing about her studies from before she was taken though. I feel like if we had more time we could dig deeper into this whole world and what its about. But we don’t get that- Zarina: We just don’t really click as much, honestly. I’d love to get to know her better but I think she’s more into digging into the killers and what she can find out about this place. Which y’know, could be better done with a team. Sage (@askthewidowstars OC): HUSBAND!!! My husband. I love him to the Moon and back. He’s amazing and I miss him even when we’re five feet apart-  ...I need a hug now-  Amanda: Best girl hands down!! We vibed a lot in between Trials talking about her traps and old designs, she was impressed by my knowledge, and we hang out in Gideon sometimes!   Ghostface: He’s pretty cute- Also fun to be around, even if he’s kind of a dick when he’s actually at work, it’s better when you’re outside of a Trial. It’s also neat to see he’s not just two idiots in a halloween costume and his own person, as much as I love the Scream Series, too-  Leatherface: Bubba!!! Honestly I’d handle being chainsawed. Fuckin Love Bubba-  Huntress: I wanna learn how to throw hatchets but I know I never will. She’s kinda scary, but also I feel like if she could adopt some of the others in the Realms, she totally would.  Oni: The only times I’ve ever really seen him is just before my skull gets bashed in. All I really have associated to him is the splitting headache.  Twins: I’m gonna punt Victor into the sun. I haven’t been good around kids beforehand and this tiny gremlin motherfucker just makes it worse.  Pinhead: I was so excited to see him!! He’s one of the few that talks more often than not in a trial, and he’s always had this air of elegance about him which makes it so much cooler! I’d be tempted to grab the box to solve it, but, at the same time Dwight’s already been hunted. I just...want to see how it works, really. Maybe if I ask nicely? Nah, probably not.  Pyramid Head: He’s so fucking COOL!!! He’s always just been really fucking cool and I still get stars in my eyes. I wanna re-create his weapon one day.  Joey: Joey’s one of the chill killers to be around, probably my favorite amongst the legion. Also Cosplay gang?? Hello? Susie: She’s cute!! I like her vibes whenever there’s not violence involved. I wonder if she’d ever get into costume making, she has the artistic eye for it. I also wonder if she’d ever dye other people’s hair...I’d kinda want green tips one day- Frank: Still wanna throw a palette at him. He’s one of the more serious of the Legion, and usually the one you’d find with a Mori. Not as Serious as Julie but only because he has the cocky god complex to go with it.  Julie:  She’s definitely the most serious out of the Legion. There’s no real rest whenever we’re in a trial against her. Scary as hell and less of a bastard than the other three.  Hillbilly: I know he deserved a lot better than this, especially after hearing more about him. I...Haven’t gotten to see much than the end of his chainsaw though.  Blight: This dude’s singlehandedly bringing back my fear of needles and I thought I lost that with HRT- Also like, dude spits up orange fuckin everywhere.  Michael: My Mans!! I always get a little excited knowing we’re up against him. It’s habit- It’s kinda weird to see him easily affected by like, palettes or flashlights though.  Spirit: She seems like she could be nice when there’s some downtime. I’m also one of the few that can understand her well enough, which probably makes things easier. I found out she’s basically my age when I survived a trial by myself. I’d hope to hang out more sometime. Nemesis: God he’s so fucking tall. Kinda surprised it was Nemesis out of everyone that could’ve been brought, and also, kinda terrified? Still am kinda terrified. I’m surprised he hasn’t just torn up an entire map yet. His zombie minions are also annoying. Wraith: All this motherfucker does is roll up to pull me off Gens and Exist as a problem. I don’t see much of him outside of a Trial. Trapper: Motherfucker Incarnate. If the Entity lets us throw hands I’m fighting him first.  Freddy: ....Gross. I liked the Nightmare on Elm Street series a lot, but...Freddy as a person? Ew. Especially this iteration.  Demogorgon: Demopuppy!! He’s a good boy and he deserves to get treats. Even if the Treats are flesh....I wonder if he likes candy though. Trickster: Pretty!! He also Gives me DIO vibes because of the Jacket and the Knife throwing...Imagine if a killer could stop time...that’d be terrifying. Deathslinger: I wanna sit down and look at his gun more but I also feel like if I ask I’d just get shot on sight. Intimidating as hell but also cool. Mary: ....Still on the very complicated ‘Ex Girlfriend that murdered me’ State. It’s hard to avoid her though. Especially since she wants to get back together since we’re stuck here. Nurse: She does not help my fear of Hospitals, honestly. While she’s easy to go up against, it’s still eugh. Plague: I really, really hate her power. The Sickness and the Vomit is just- Eughhhhh- It just hits every bad sensory issue at once.  Clown: ...I get killers are Killers and aren’t supposed to be good people but also like....Disgusting. Please Remove from the Realm. He’s just- ...Ew.  Doctor: NOPE. NO. NEVER. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e125

Sam, there are some things no one needs to see

Yussah! My other favorite wizard!

He doesn’t want to help because he doesn’t want to possibly lose control of his form and reveal he’s actually a dragon

Oooo scepter?

A gold scepter with a talon? Interesting.

I love him

[[MORE]]

“All the more reason for me to stay behind” I love this cowardly wizard man

Ugh why are we talking to this asshole again

I don’t like him

Y’all aren’t going to get any answers from him

NoPE noPE Nope DONT like there where this is going

GET OUT

I M M E D I A T E L Y

CALEB

double Nat 20s awwww yeah

He’s so gross ugh

Caleb

Babe

Like I’m sure he’s just trying to squeeze what he can put before he bolts but still

Don’t like him taking the risk

And also I think this guy is a lying liar so

Please make that save

Okay thank god

Anyway we can still all agree Yussah is a dragon right?

This scrying sounds very uncomfortable

Nosebleed

In the middle of a snowy forest oops

Should be relatively safe maybe then

Wait omg what!

They get to go to Tal’Dorei!! Nice!

Gasp, Kima!!

A: “...Beholders and such”

Oh really?

Vestige of Divergence??? Meant to??? Combat!! Betrayer gods!!

U’kotoa better watch his back

Y’all, mages and magic folk probably aren’t who you need to take

Veth: “halfling to halfling, I gotchu!”

Veth plz don’t steal Kima’s sword I have a feeling you’re eyeing it up

Awww Kima offering to go and Allura’s like honey I love you and therefore no

Guys don’t drag Kima into this and get her killed

Okay damn, they’re getting all kinds of badass gifts

Does Allura know you’re friends with Artagan

Lmaooooo

Her eyes going squinty I KNEW she caught the name

V: “Are you a follower of the Traveler?”

A: “By. No. Means.”

Oh dang, what does her staff do for them?

Cad’s like “you can have mine if you want” and as soon as Jester mentions beetles goes “nope thanks”

Gonna?? Give?? Yasha the sword??

From one lesbian to another

“Skin gorger? Really?!”

“I didn’t name it”

“Kimaaaa I don’t want that in the tower”

Okay wait so what is happening

Is it a device to get them to the Astra plane

And if they see someone in a ship and they’re yellow it’s bad and they should run

Someone needs to check on Jester because she seems really upset and I think with each person refusing to actively go with and help them she gets even more discouraged

Is she gonna ask about the dagger?

Oh she’s not asking about the curse she’s asking about Caleb awww

The fact that Matt is giving them so much incredible gear though makes me AFRAID

Jester like “isn’t there a chance we’re wanted criminals?” like fuck

Gasp Dairon?!

They’re one non-wizard ally??

Oh DAMN some heavy Beau stuff out of nowhere

Oh Beau...

Group hug time, I think

Seriously, hug her

Yasha, hug herrrrr

New see invisibility? But only creatures lol

Oh Veth

D: “You’re making us all proud, I hope you know that” I’m soft

And then immediately after Beau’s “like hey btw we lost a very powerful magical item.... in the woods.....”

Dairon: “I take it all back”

Caleb I think you need to be less squishy more than you need anything else

especially up against Lucien

The dagger is finally coming out

Sam choosing to re-roll the one NOW and everyone losing it is amazing

Does GR break curses?

Okay good

And just like that the curse is broken, thank goodness

What the FUCK kind of curse is that

“You’re giving my ring back?!”

They’re so fucking cute

Honestly it’s amazing how much more lighthearted they all are now that they’re away from Eiselcross

Oh?? Beau planning the daaaaaate

The BeauYasha date is comiiiiiiiing

Ninjas??

She wants to

Fight

Ninjas

On their date

Beau, honey

I for one cannot WAIT for this disaster date

Oh no why Caduceus

FUCK OFF CITY LEAVE MY BOY

Oh okay? Not city? This seems suspiciously nice so far...

I knew it

What’s wrong are family okay

Fuck

It’s time to go home

The bark becomes flesh, branch becomes arm, stone and skin

Oh nooooooo

The FUCKING CITY

NO

a city street made of teeth, I hate it

FUCK OFF, CITY

I will personally fight Aeor myself for hurting Caduceus this way

Yasha now, okay...

STORMLORD! It’s been a while!

He’s coming to say he’s proud of her for what’s going on with Beau? I hope

“Save us”?!

Matt could you not just let them have one nice night

“You found your strength, Yasha. Now you must learn to use it. You are not an implement of others. You’ve broken those chains. You are... an avatar of the Stormlord. I work through you, but your strength is your owns you’ve begun the first steps, but you must earn this one.”

Matt

MATT NO

NO MORE EYES MATTHEW

I MEAN IT SIR

motherFUCKER

so it’s not reading the book???

fucking hell

Fuck Matt’s sound effects are so good though

All the eyes FUCK

Matthew FUCKING Mercer

I’m flying to LA right now to personally fight him

Love you too Matt

Is it Thursday yet?

[annikasafternoonread]

So. That’s The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. Thoughts. I have them. This is going to be a long one, folks, so buckle in.

I guess my overall report would be... better than expected. That might sound like faint praise, but I had serious reservations coming into this book. I think a lot of people were concerned when it was first announced. And I certainly think those reactions were warranted and valid and I don’t regret them -- this book could have been a mess. 

It wasn’t. It didn’t try to rehabilitate Snow, didn’t try to make him relatable or sympathetic or misunderstood or a victim. It didn’t do any of that. Snow was a privileged, bigoted, ignorant, self-centered asshole with a superiority complex the size of a planet. Collins got that much right at least. We can see some of the forces that conspired to make him that way, but they don’t make him any less of a terrible person who did terrible things for terrible reasons.

But. That kind of character... is not the most fun to read, honestly. I don’t love spending this much time reading a book that just makes me angry. I don’t love spending this much time with a person I hate. I think I’m glad I read it, to know more what it was and to gain some interesting context about the world, but I don’t think I’d read it again. And I don’t know that I’d recommend it. If I did, it would come with some heavy caveats on there. 

So that’s my overall impression: better than expected, worth reading once and no more. On to some more specific hot takes.

So first off, Lucy Gray. I love her in a lot of ways, but she also confused me and I was a little disappointed by other aspects. She’s fun and talented and sweet, but girl what the fuck do you see in Snow he’s a shithead I mean less of a shithead to you, at least compared to the rest of the Capitol, and he did sort of save her life so like Florence Nightingale Syndrome or whatever, but ugh. Gross. I really really really wanted her to be playing him. And I’m not entirely sure she’s not.

As she says when talking about Billy Taupe being a possessive jealous asshole, flirting with people is part of the job description when you’re a performer and entertainer. It’s what she does. It’s what she’s always done. It’s what’s kept her alive for years, being charming and sweet and desirable and making people love her. And now in the Games, she’s relying on Snow to keep her alive. So the more he wants to keep her alive, the better. And if he’s in love with her, and thinks that she’s in love with him, then he’ll be very invested in keeping her alive. As Snow notes at the end, she killed quite a few people, in ways that could have been self-preservation or happenstance or mercy, but could also have been calculated as fuck. It’s hard to say.

I can’t tell you how much I hoped that she’d be cool towards him after the Games, that it would have been all for show and Snow would run back to the barracks with his tail between his legs. She didn’t, which is a big part of why I don’t think she was playing him. Her joy, her kisses, her invitations to spend time together, her song, it doesn’t seem like a lie. But on the other hand, maybe thumbing her nose at a Peacekeeper and Capitol high muckity-muck wouldn’t have been a smart move. Maybe having a Peacekeeper on your side, and someone with Capitol connections, would have been very handy. After all, he kept bringing them ice and baked goods and such. If they could keep him close, he might stand up for them if the Peacekeepers wanted to ban them (which they eventually did a few months later, so the Covey probably knew it was a possibility). He might or warn them if something bad was coming. 

The thing that swung me back to “maybe” is how fast she went from “let’s run away to the woods together and be free” to “I’m gonna sic a snake on this motherfucker.” Like, yes he deserved that, but he always deserved it. That’s a hell of a swing for a few hours. Was it just realizing he might have sold out Sejanus that swung her opinion? Was there something else instead or as well? Did that push her to make new connections, or finally tip over the pile of reservations she’d been ignoring? Maybe. But it just seems... like it might have been more than that. Like maybe she was planning to ditch him anyways, though I can’t imagine why. Idk, the theory doesn’t hold together terribly well, but neither does Lucy Gray’s infatuation with another shitty possessive abusive man. Or maybe that’s just patterns. 

The question of what happened to Lucy Gray honestly doesn’t interest me that much. I’m sure there’s plenty of speculation and opinions and headcanons about whether she returned to District 12 or escaped to the wilds or died there in the woods, but frankly I don’t care. Oh, I hope she lived, but it’s not relevant. There isn’t an answer, so I’m not terribly interested in figuring it out. 

What I do find interesting is Dean Highbottom. He’s a very ironic character, in my opinion. He tells us at the end that he thought up the Hunger Games in a class assignment “to create a punishment for one’s enemies so extreme that they would never be allowed to forget how they had wronged you.” He didn’t actually want the Hunger Games to be real or think they ever could be, and he felt terrible about even submitting the assignment (against his will). He turned to drugs when the proposal was brought forward and became real, because he was so horrified. He didn’t believe in that kind of vengeance, didn’t want to keep that hatred alive. He didn’t think that was what humanity was or should be. 

And yet. His response to Papa Snow’s betrayal in submitting an assignment about punishing innocent children for a crime they didn’t commit was to punish Snow for a crime he didn’t commit. So maybe he’s wrong about humans, or at least about himself. 

I don’t think Dr. Gaul is right about human nature being inherently evil and violent and selfish, though. Put us in the right circumstances and maybe, sure, but we don’t have to be in those circumstances. She’s so caught up in the eternal war, and obviously you can’t stop a war if you believe it’s still going. And maybe eventually if you’re not hardass there’ll be another one, but maybe there won’t! And goodness knows being hardass didn’t stop the next war! It’s impossible to say for sure that if the Capitol/all of Panem had been more fair and just and kind, the next war wouldn’t have been sooner, but it’s also impossible to say that it wouldn’t have been later, or never. That seems worth fighting for. Dr. Gaul terrifies me, obviously, but she also kind of just makes me sad. What a depressing worldview. She doesn’t see it that way, I’m sure, just sees it as a challenge and a game, but it is sad. 

The rest of my thoughts are less expansive, so let’s just bullet point them:

Propaganda works terrifyingly well. Be careful of your internalized biases and the messaging being fed to you.

The effects of pride and honour and position are wild. Snow was simultaneously crushed and elevated by them, as was Sejanus. 

Speaking of Sejanus, he deserved better. I love my son. 

The fuck was up with Clemensia? They never really resolved that. Is she actually okay? Did her skin grow back? How the hell did that happen? Could she have turned into a snake? Why was she so cutting and mean and unlike herself? Was Gaul controlling her somehow? Why did they refuse to tell her parents anything? But also how could she manage to escape from her room to sneak in on Snow? What the fuck? 

I love the full circle of a Mockingjay bringing Snow up, as Lucy Gray’s voice and fame helped him to rise and bloom, to gain Dr. Gaul’s favor and the Plinths’ money, pulling him out of his , and then a Mockingjay tearing him down, when he crossed Katniss and put her family in danger and she decided he had to die. 

This was a fucking essay, which I feel a little bad about, but I had a lot of thoughts and feelings okay? XD For anyone who actually read this whole thing, you are a saint, you deserve several cookies, I don’t have a way to give you any so here is instead a picture of my kitten using TBOSAS as a pillow.

Have a good day! See you soon for Mockingjay Part 2.

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 9, Part 1

Ahhhh...poor son of a bitch.

1. Heyyyyy, green tape

Hmmmn, Koogi seems to use green a lot...is that just more common a color for duct tape in Korea? But thing is, her main outfit for Bum is green tones. And he likes froggies, which are green. 

Also, we never do see Sangwoo use this tape with CEO daughter girl (just ropes, a cloth for her mouth, and this weird metal thing to cover her eyes). Or with Bum, for that matter (I only saw it so far used with Koogi’s illustrations, which are a different matter altogether...I might be mistaken, I won’t skip to that part, but Sangwoo might have used it on Bum in the last chapters, which could signify how far his mentality has deteriorated). 

But this guy is different. Sangwoo has no emotional attachment to him.  The duct tape could be, in a way, signifying how worthless this person is to Sangwoo. That he’s nothing more than a box full of unsavory memories he would rather tape shut forever and throw away to rot.

2. Ooohp. Bastard’s bringing out his iconic apron

Sangwoo the butcher.

But this is something new that we haven’t seen before. Again, Sangwoo has never once wore this with Bum. So that means Sangwoo truly has no intentions of going easy on this guy. Blood is going to be pretty much spurting every-the-fuck-where. 

So even though Sangwoo doesn’t consciously plan to kill someone, he has his habits and ideas down to a pat so that once he does get into that territory, he can more or less get right down to it. Sangwoo seems to do what he can to ‘separate’ himself from his atrocious acts, but also fulfilling an ‘aesthetic’ that fits with the atrocity he has become. 

Like, that apron.  Too risky to wear regular clothes, so apron is the next best thing and can act as a barrier of some sort once the blood goes flying. It’ll reduce how much splatters onto his skin and how much of his body he has to actually clean. It’s also just keep things less gross and more sanitary that way lol.

3. I am the type to find this funny and really be amused by Sangwoo’s smartass-ness

I suck at being a smartass and I can’t do it, so I really appreciate it whenever someone else can, even if it’s mean lol. But if it’s mean, it’s a guilty pleasure for me, like right now. x’D

4. Honestly, Sangwoo, how did you get yourself into this situation...

Oh!  So he was able to get out of the blow job. Nice. The guy was actually respectful. If Sangwoo were sane, he’d understand this and just run away instead of luring this guy in to kill him. 

But, really, why did Sangwoo put himself into this position?  I don’t have anything foolproof as evidence, but I really don’t think Sangwoo is the type who actually needs to kill at specific intervals as an outlet.

If anything, Sangwoo has a more...instinctual response to sexual situations, like Bum. For Bum, he becomes hyper-aroused and zeroes in on the pleasure to a point that it overrides his more logical line of thinking. The “he’s a killer I should be scared” becomes “it feels so good and nothing else can exist but this pleasure”.

For Sangwoo, he has two modes. The first one is passive, where he’s just following his partner’s whims and saying that he’s enjoying things but he’s actually just powerless to resist. It’s his instinctual reaction after being forced to just...take his mom’s advances. He feels empty, like a doll that is just meant to be used and taken for pleasure. It’s no better than being a corpse that is fulfilling another’s necrophilic tendencies.

The second mode, I believe, came to be as a self-defense mechanism to the first mode. In order to avoid ever feeling like that, he is in control of everything. He has complete dominance over his partner. In a way, the extreme violence is the only way he can genuinely feel pleasure because he’s ‘safe’. He can literally go one way or the other, his trauma has made it impossible for him to have any other mode than ‘docile’ or ‘predator’. 

5. Well, even without the possibility of murdering someone, Sangwoo choosing an alias is no surprise

He did go into a gay bar, lol.

I also find it interesting that this is where we get a look into Bum’s thoughts. And it’s regarding Sangwoo’s alias. 

Also, now I am wondering if Sangwoo ever resorted to using aliases with his other prey. Because if he had, then this does add a whole other layer of premeditation to his serial killing. Even if he’s not purposefully scouting for prey, it would at least mean he’s always prepared in the event that he comes across prey. 

That is what makes Jieun such an outlier and also Sangwoo’s downfall in terms of getting caught. Jieun knows Sangwoo personally. There is a connection between them. And her disappearance could easily be traced back to him. Sangwoo isn’t an idiot. He knows how to pick and choose his prey and he probably makes sure to never make it so that the prey can call him by name. 

That is also what makes Bum such an interesting outlier. Because Sangwoo is risking A LOT just to keep him--someone who knows Sangwoo’s real name and actually has witnessed his personal life, both in the outside world and behind closed doors. Sangwoo chose him over the girl. Sangwoo broke his legs, not only to keep Bum from escaping, but to keep Bum with him. 

This does suggest that Sangwoo is not serial killing for the thrill of it (at least, not just for that), but because he’s in search for something that could replace the kills. Sangwoo doesn’t want a pile of dead bodies under his feet--he wants one alive body to stay by his side and love him, in spite of those dead bodies. 

6. ....cute motherfucker

Koogi, I resent you so much for making him this cute...

Honestly though, it just strikes me how Sangwoo keeps trying to keep on a carefree and happy facade even during times like these. We do later see him doing that as a habit as a child, so it fits that he does that on steroids during his adult years, especially considering the things he does. I’ll refer back to this when we get to Jieun’s death scene.

7. Shows of weakness

Ah damn I’m going to have to revisit this part. I have a lot of thoughts on it, but I’m too sleep deprived to actually make sense of it. But this part is important in understanding Sangwoo’s mentality and the ways he tries to train Bum to fit a certain image.

Aaaaaand today is a new day!!  So going forth:

During the times Bum showed fear and was trembling, I do think a major part of why Sangwoo hates it so much is because it reminds him of how much of a monster he is. But I also think it’s because it reminds him of his mom, which he does say about Bum’s trembling. Because no matter what happened to his mom, she never learned her lesson. If she were able to change, then Sangwoo’s childhood would be less painful. 

But Bum being quiet and looking scared, but still able to meet Sangwoo’s eyes...that reminds Sangwoo of what he was while with his parents. And even though Sangwoo does hate himself--to a point where he doesn’t want to change because he has no belief he can be better--I do think he’s grieving for that child who had no clue that things will just get worse and worse from there. 

Especially since, from what I’m assuming, he knew how to manipulate his image so that he could avoid being beaten and locked up like his mother. So he would hold more respect towards his conditioned response versus his mother’s conditioned response. He probably refused to admit to himself how he felt back then, because obviously that’s a cruel thought to have and Sangwoo’s level of empathy was still average to high at the time. But it still doesn’t erase his resentment towards her inability to be better (I think this also contributed to why Sangwoo presumably felt ‘free’ after his first kill).

I think I’ll have a better grasp over my thoughts once we get to Jieun’s death >_< 

8. *opens mouth, then silently closes it*

That first sentence probably is not meant to sound the way Sangwoo makes it sound. xD  Which is a bit too gay for someone who firmly claims he is wholly hetero.

Oh actually this is funny. Since the only other person in the basement is a guy, the card dude probably thinks Sangwoo really is gay or internalized-antigay or something. But the truth is a lot more complex and sinister than what it appears to be on the surface.

9. Ooooooh, high stakes indeed

Lol, this does drive home the idea to me that Sangwoo is really pissed at Bum. Because, again, he would’ve never went to that gay bar had it not been for Bum. So, in a way, even though Sangwoo internally knows Bum isn’t the one going out in a body bag, this instillation of fear is a punishment for making him question his sexuality in a way that triggered Sangwoo’s trauma. Because there is literally no safe way for Sangwoo to explore his sexuality considering his past and his current lifestyle.

On the other end of the spectrum, I wonder how Bum is feeling about this. He probably genuinely believes that Sangwoo is genuinely putting Bum’s life on the line, in a way that if he fails the card game, he’ll die. Like. I definitely would. No matter what past form of affection Sangwoo showed, if he says he’ll kill me, I would full-heartedly be like “Yeah. Yeah, I don’t doubt you, hun.”

And, still, Bum knows better now than to complain or beg. Because unlike his mother, despite his own mental issues, Bum can be trained and that is why Sangwoo keeps him around.

10. Where do you come up with these things, you bastard

I mean, seriously, he has so many ideas on how to break a person. These are more psychopathic than sociopathic tendencies, I think, so that’s why Sangwoo right now, is a high-functioning sociopath.

11. Oh my fkkn god tho, this smart boi XD

Or maybe I’m just dumb and have no clue how to play cards. 

Or maybe Sangwoo has been spending time with Bum playing cards.

Or maybe Bum is just good at cards and has spent his time practicing them.

Either way, the fact that Bum is able to fkkn pay attention during these times shows that his own trauma and mental issues have no bearing on how smart he actually is. He doesn’t have strong observation skills and is slow to understand people, but that’s more of a natural character trait, even if it is more emphasized by his mental disorders...mmmn, I do kinda wonder if Bum could have some traits shared with autism but I’m too neruotypical and untrained to say whether or not he does.

12. No seriously, we have creative Sangwoo here with this card game from hell...

...Then we have Bum here able to pull out logical conclusions like his mind is clear despite the immense anxiety and pressure of the situation. There’s a reason why Bum is still alive. For some reason, the longer Bum is stuck in his situation, the more 

13. Seriously, I could stab him in the eye for being so cute despite being revolting, it’s not RIGHT KOOGI

Stab stab stab stab

14. It probably doesn’t mean much, but I still can’t help but point out how Sangwoo is making sure to be close to Card!dude and facing Bum

This would be the most logical choice since it will ensure his victim doesn’t try to escape. And even if he does, he can quickly do shit like pulling back his hair if he tries to be ‘bratty’. Also, being behind someone like this is meant to represent a menacing appearance and being the ‘controller’ behind the scenes. Sangwoo has the upperhand since card!dude can’t see him and Sangwoo can do whatever he wants to the guy. 

But this also puts Sangwoo and Bum on more equal ground. Sort of like “partners in crime” because they can face each other and communicate via body language. In a way, Sangwoo can help Bum or make Bum do things, influencing his next move. While, at the same time, keeping a literal eye on Bum but without the upperhand he has on card!dude--because Bum can also keep an eye out on him. 

15. I’d probably laugh if I were Sangwoo too lol

I bet you Sangwoo didn’t expect Bum to actually get the goddamn ace. The fact that Bum is this fkkn lucky is indicative of how Bum is lucky enough to even be alive at this point. Bum has been able to avoid his ‘fate of death’ over and over again that, honestly, the sheer disbelief of it is ridiculous. But it’s also like Sangwoo is saying ‘Of course you’d get the goddamn ace. Of course you would, you little shit, why am I even still surprised by you at this point’.

In a way, Sangwoo might also be thinking that ‘Huh, it’s like I meant to mess with the cards so that’d they be in your favor.’ But of course, he can’t have that because Bum being ‘too’ happy about things means he won’t be able to control Bum. So, for Bum’s case, he’s doing a second round to train Bum further, rather than to fuck with him before he kills him (like what he’s doing with card!dude).

Other than that, this is also indicative of just how well Bum is dealing with the anxiety of this moment. Card!dude might have done better (though he can’t have that much control over the cards) under normal circumstances, but between the both of them, Bum is actually calm enough to think things through. It says a lot about his capabilities lol. It makes me wonder what kind of person he could’ve been had he been raised well.

ALSO, AGAIN WITH YOU BEING CUTE SANGWOO. NO. ESPECIALLY NOT UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES YOU ASSHOLE. STOP IT.

16. Lol, even though this is a throwaway line, I think this is indicative of who Sangwoo has already chosen

This is really like a “come on, partner in crime, get up to my level here and let’s fuck with this fucker together”. But the thing is, Bum is just as much a victim as this guy. There is literally no way for Bum to think any other way but Sangwoo fucking with both of them, not just card!dude. 

Because the thing is, if Bum forgot himself and reacted the same way as card!dude, Sangwoo would kill him, along with card!dude.

But yeah, it does make me think of how Sangwoo would’ve reacted if card!dude actually won. How would his script go? Would he still do a practice round? Or would that have been enough for Sangwoo, and he would’ve skipped to the next part of his plan?

I don’t think this second round was something Sangwoo expected. And that really drove home to him how Bum keeps surpassing his expectations again and again. 

17. *wince* Oohp.

The trembling and slight protest. Definitely not what Sangwoo wants to see. I can’t blame Bum for responding like this, BECAUSE A FKKN SERIAL KILLER IS PRETTY MUCH TRYING TO SCREW HIM OVER, but at the same time, he should know better than to respond this way. 

I also do think, other than the threat to his life, Bum is perceiving this as Sangwoo ‘choosing’ card!dude over Bum. It’s like a rejection and that probably hits Bum’s rejection sensitivity. If it was just a threat to his life, Bum would probably be able to still stay silent at this point (uh, most likely not because again, life is on the line, but still maybe). However, there’s also this sense that Sangwoo doesn’t actually want him to live--that the card game is just an excuse to kill Bum.

18.  think it says a lot that Sangwoo still responds to Bum’s protest via ‘patting’ him on the head rather than pulling on his hair. 

If card!dude was more intuitive, then he probably would’ve noticed that something was off in the way Sangwoo was treating Bum. More leniently. Because any small variation in treatment is not a promising outlook for card!dude.

But the thing is--now that I know how the ending is--Sangwoo is just doing this as a way to fuck with the other dude.  Actually he was probably proud of Bum winning so that he could further fuck with card!dude and make him taste the bitterness of false hope. Sort of like a “heh, you did better than I thought you would”. 

Sangwoo does want him to live because this card game is not about ‘who’ to choose. Sangwoo has already chosen Bum. This is just a matter of how much satisfaction Sangwoo can get against his revenge on the other guy.

Though, Bum is genuinely worried because why would he think that lol. There is also this thing where Sangwoo chose to kill a pretty girl and keep him, a skinny male loser, alive. So from his stand point, Sangwoo’s choices are difficult to pinpoint. Bum also won’t see himself as more ‘attractive’ than card!dude, so he most likely was scared that Sangwoo’s choices has changed once again and he would be thrown away like CEO daughter.

19. Hmmmn...

Now that card!dude has been given a second chance and can see Sangwoo’s willingness as a show of ‘favorability’, he has more control over his anxiety (which I do think is different from Bum, who has this sort of ‘on-off’ button for his anxiety, versus card!dude who seems to have more of a ‘reduction-enlargement’ slider). He probably feels more confident. 

And this is probably exactly what Sangwoo wanted, because then that will make the fall so much sweeter, the look of horror that much more gratifying.

20. Really, and there were people who wanted Sangwoo and Bum to have a happily ever after

The psychological warfare Sangwoo is putting onto Bum is so brutal that it’s really difficult to keep reading. Again, Koogi making it so that Sangwoo got better, then got worse when he realized he couldn’t handle what it means to ‘improve’, and then die...it made me respect this work so much, because nothing about this is romanticized.  And furthermore, Bum didn’t die, but at the same time, he was scars that will never be able to heal. His mentality was worse in the end than it was in the beginning, which is a goddamn feat because there wasn’t much left for him to fall.

Another alternative that I saw float around was Bum and Sangwoo dying together and...no. No no no. That’s too romanticized as well. And Bum being left alive while Sangwoo dies has this very...god I don’t even know how to explain. It’s not a happy ending. For me, there’s no vindication for it because I got to see just how deeply Sangwoo was suffering, which made it impossible for me to enjoy his death despite every incredibly shitty thing he has done. It was literally just...a masterpiece. One that showed just how, really, there are places on earth that truly have no hope and the suffering only ends with death. 

I usually never like nihilistic stories like these. Like seriously, there’s a reason why I avoided Killing Stalking like the plague. But after so many stories where things have a happy ending just because they MUST, it doesn’t only get tiring, but destructive for me. 

And Killing Stalking is special to me because instead of showing that everything was hopeless in the beginning just BECAUSE life is hopeless, period...it shows that things could’ve gone differently because Sangwoo and Bum were never truly without hope in the beginning. Sangwoo wasn’t a classic serial killer. Bum just needed better guidance. They just needed to be given a goddamn chance, like so many people in the world in general.

Instead of outright nihilism, it’s more in line with existentialism and that things reach the point of no return if nothing is changed. Or that if there are changes, it’s the type of change that makes things worse and doesn’t allow for healing.

Anyways, I don’t quite have all my thoughts on this together, so this is something I have to revisit once I’m done reading KS.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #338

“i can’t decide if you’re wearing me out, or wearing me well”

Are you a fan of techno? I've gotten more into it lately, actually. I've never minded it. Who’s your favorite horror movie villain/monster? Pyramid Head, though he's called Red Pyramid Thing in the movies. Do you have a favorite muscle car? Nah. I'm not big into cars. What would be a total deal-breaker for you, relationship-wise? You so much as lift your hand at me, bye, motherfucker. Would you consider yourself to be accepting of others? Yes, but not as much as I used to be. There are certain opinions I just don't tolerate in people anymore; I feel like by staying associated with people whose views invalidate or in any way harm others (racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.), you're on the side of evil as well, even if indirectly. However, I genuinely do feel I have a wide range of viewpoints I'm willing to accept in others, even if I don't agree with them. Are you flirtatious? No. I think I'm only capable of flirting with someone I'm already with and very comfortable around. I'd feel way too shy and awkward otherwise. Have you ever just felt "drawn" to someone, but you didn’t know why? "Didn't know why," no. I've felt drawn to people with good reason, like if I was romantically interested in them. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a number, honestly. Especially with the aid of therapy, I'm being motivated to strengthen bonds with old friends and/or acquaintances via Facebook. Freddy or Jason? I think Jason is scarier. Freddy tends to come across as cheesy for me. Have stickers or gems on your cell phone? Nah. Ever teased your hair? Bitch I damn well tried in high school because I wanted the ~ l e g i t ~ emo hair, but mine was just too heavy to hold, at least with the hairspray my sister had. Have any friends with benefits? Nah, that's never been my thing. Ever lost of bunch of valuable information? Ummm I don't believe so. I've lost massive RP posts before, but I can't really call those "valuable information." What drinks or food make you hyper? None, really. Most expensive thing you ever bought? With my own money, my snake. She's a champagne morph ball python. What type of toothpaste do you use? Crest. How much time to spend putting on makeup daily? Zero. When listening to a song, what do you listen for (lyrics, bass, beat, ect)? The beat, more than anything else. What is the color of your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? Black. Just black. Are you sexually active? I'm not. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. Are you attracted to several guys atm? I'm actually not attracted to any guys in my personal life atm. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Excluding the one I don't know, I have three older sisters. Favorite song by Owl City? Probably "Hot Air Balloon," but I don't know many at all. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you truly understand the (LDS) Mormon religion? I don't know what "LDS" means, but as my former best friend developed into a Mormon, I learned some stuff from her in her self-discovery. I don't remember a lot of it, not that I knew all that much in the first place. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? Ugh, Mom's unmovable about it being in my fucking room for some reason. And we have an extra goddamn room no one uses yet. Roman's shit STINKS, like we think something might actually be wrong, but nope, it has to stay in here. e_e It would literally inconvenience nobody if we moved it in the spare room. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? MUCH lighter. He's very tan. Do you like apricots? No. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? 100% body wash. Bar soap slips so easily, and as someone who lives with another person, I'm not rubbing my body with the same bar my mother uses, no offense to her. Sharing it's just gross. Where do you live (country or state)? Shitty 'ole North Carolina. Do you use plastic, wooden, or wire hangers? I think we have a mix of them, actually. What is your favorite shade of yellow? I only like pastel yellow. Otherwise, it's one of my least favorite colors. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Ehhh not really. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? God, can I please have a stable career by then. Who has the best decorated house in your town? I don't know. We live in a cul de sac community thing where it's just houses next to houses, so there's a lot to choose from. I don't pay attention to them. What is your favorite part of Halloween? The decorations. Do you feel a connection to the moon? "As above, so below," as the saying goes. What does your heart long for? Peace and contentness with myself. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year, I didn't. I do want to this year, though, if I can just think of a really good idea. I have to be motivated. What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? I'm not having kids, but I'll follow along, hypothetically. With how much joy Halloween brought me as a kid, I'd want to do SO much as a family with them. Homemade decorations, carving or painting pumpkins together, and hell yeah I'd be taking them trick-or-treating once I felt they were ready and they wanted to. I'd be one of those parents that probably spends too much on whatever costumes they want, haha... Oh, and then besides Halloween, I'd certainly rake leaf piles together for them to jump and play in. This question has brought to mind like ONE thing I could enjoy as a parent, haha. Have you ever seen a fox? I have; besides in a zoo setting, I've seen one or two in the wild run out of sight, and I also found one poor fellow as roadkill that had been disemboweled by I'm assuming vultures. With my whole roadkill photography thing, I literally almost kneeled into a strand of intestines I didn't see at first. :x What color are the squirrels where you live? We only have brown ones. Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? lol no What do the trees look like where you live? Lots, and lots, and LOTS of pine trees... There are others, but I'm not well-informed on tree species and such. Oh, then of course there are dogwoods (our "state tree"), which are unmistakable because they smell like fucking manure. What is your dream vacation? Maybe the mountains on the western side of NC during the fall... ugh, that would be breathtaking. We actually have an abandoned The Wizard of Oz-themed park around there that allows tours at certain times of the year, and I'd love to visit and photograph there. As well, western NC has the zoo, which would be spectacular to visit with autumn weather and, once again, load up on photos. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I LOVED field trips. Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all for that. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Historically, larger doses of Klonopin can knock me the fuck out. Do you like bath bombs? Never used one, because I don't do baths. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? I'm going to guesstimate you mean less than 1M subs as "small," because I really don't know what you consider to fit that description. I watch a lot of people with less than 1M, so it's hard to say, but lately it's probably been a let's player John Wolfe. He's really funny. Then there's some tarantula YouTubers, along with the animal educator Emzotic... and really just many others. I think most of the people I watch actually have sub-1M, but more than 500k. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier is absolutely, positively #1. I also really enjoy Snake Discovery, GameGrumps, Jeffree Star (don't judge me ok, he's a fuckin hoot), and while I haven't watched them in years, Good Mythical Morning will ALWAYS be deeply, deeeeply embedded in my heart. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Ummm probably the Spice Girls? Have you ever used an outhouse? Ugh, yes, at old childhood sports games. What was the last good cause you donated towards? When I cut off like 8+ inches of hair to accomplish the style I have now, I donated it to Children With Hair Loss. My hair has always been mega-thick and healthy, so why in the world waste it? One of my most cherished items is the certificate I got in return many months later that my donation had been used. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? I haven't had contact with Juan in many years, don't know what Tyler's up to either, and I haven't spoken to Jason since 2017, so. I'm very doubtful he's married or has kids yet, though, just knowing him and how "I need to be fully prepared for this" he is with big life stuff like that. Does it bother you when people get super emotional? Not at all. I'll do my all to comfort them. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? No. Do you get a lot of thunderstorms where you live? Depends on the time of year. Summertime? Brief but super intense thunderstorms every late afternoon. What was the last drive-thru you went through? Taco Bell w/ Mom. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural ‘things?’ No. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression, and Mom is also convinced Dad has either depression masked as anger and/or bipolarity, but following the divorce, I don't see it in him at all. He's never seen a doctor in that field to be diagnosed with any mental illness. What fun things are there to do where you live? Jackshit. Do you know anyone with a really poorly-trained dog? Mother of fucking god, yes. My little sister lives with her best friend, and said friend has a colossal black lab named Hudson that is absolutely uncontrollable because she neglects the shit out of him. Won't listen to you even if it saved his life. He jumps on you, barks endlessly, and if he escapes the house? Good fucking luck getting him inside. She has absolutely no right to own a dog with how shitty of an owner she honestly is. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home? They owned it. The idiots who were moving in after us accidentally burnt the place to a fucking crisp, and my parents were SO not happy to lose that house because people were dumb enough to place boxes atop the goddamn stove. Do you do meal-prepping? No. Do you know anyone who got preggo less than a year into their relationship? Multiple people, not that that's my business. What did you dream about last night? I don't remember it clearly, other than I was with Jason and his mother was also present. What's the biggest age difference you've ever had in a relationship? That would have been with Juan, but I don't remember exactly how old he was. I just know I was a freshman and him a senior that got held back a year or so in HS. If you could save one animal from ever becoming extinct, what animal would you pick? Probably bees, given how vital they are. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. My maternal grandmother worked at Disney World. I can't remember what her position was, though. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? If I want a healthy snack, sometimes I'll have a scoop. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? They need to be loose. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? This big painting of meerkats grooming on burlap I did in high school. Do you always wear a bra? I question the self-love of anyone who can sleep with a bra on. ;__; Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Oh yes, I can't read more than one at a time. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? The normal book. Do you know how to play chess? I don't. Are you watching anything? No, but I do have Manson's "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge" on in another tab. What is your blood type? A-. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it? Yes. Do you twitch when you're falling asleep? Dude, I more than "twitch." I can just suddenly spaz out and look like I'm seizing for a moment. Another side effect of my nightmare suppressant medication. Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. Has anyone ever bought you a ring? My mom has bought me a few, and Jason gave me one for one of our anniversaries. Where was the last place you took a bath/shower, other than your own house? My sister's place. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? Just how unique and happy that way she is. And her pretty much undying loyalty. Has someone ever taken a pic of you while you were making out with someone? No, considering I wouldn't go that far with someone unless we were alone. Had a crush on someone you thought shared your sexuality, turns out didn’t? Yes. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Does it gross you out if a guy has hair on his chest? I personally don't find an excess of it attractive, but it doesn't "gross me out." If they bathe themselves just like everyone else, why should it? Do you think sexuality is a choice or not? It is absolutely not a choice. If it was, I'd assume most people would choose to be straight, given phobias, hatecrimes, etc... I could write an essay on this. Do you like industrial piercings? Yeah. Do you think stretched ears are disgusting? "Disgusting" is, once again, the wrong word. Gauges don't really gross me out - hell, I want tiny ones -, but they can reach a size that, to me, is not visually appealing. Did you watch animated Barbie movies when you were little? I do remember loving Princess and the Pauper as well as the Rapunzel one; my sister was addicted to them. Oh yeah! Then there was the Swan Lake one that she adored, too. We usually watched movies together. Do you like fruit in your cereal? Big No. Do you like raw vegetables? Ugh, no. Do you listen to A Day to Remember? I do! They're on my list of faves. Do you like funnel cake? I actually don't. Have you ever been with someone while they were getting a tattoo? Yuh.