#but home doesn't exist

[kettle-bird]

Don’t be Fran-tic… If you're Jones-ing for a good time... Remember to Bea... Joyful!

(This update was so good it finally got me to do fanart for this project I LOVE these guys)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

With you at my side, I've forgotten my homesickness.

[ventique18]

🐉 surprises you one day by attempting to converse with you fully in your mother tongue. No, not the common language that you seemed to have just automatically learned when you were whisked to Twisted Wonderland, but the language from your original world. Some of his pronunciations are hilariously awkward and he uses slangs here and there that doesn't fit with his usually formal appearance, but he's trying. God, he's trying.

And you don't know why but you feel like crying. This guy, socially inept as he is, is trying to make you feel like you're at home in a place so unlike home.

When you ask how in the world he knew about your language, he confesses that he's been keeping note of words and phrases you absentmindedly use in conversations, along with what he assumes are their meaning. He apologizes for taking too long to be confident enough to speak to you like this, but he was afraid that he'd sound like he's disrespecting your home if he didn't practice enough by himself.

"I know I sound like a fool. Your language is rather difficult on my tongue."

"It's fine... It's... It's more than fine. You didn't have to... You didn't... You didn't have to..." You can't find the words to say to him. You can't properly express your emotions.

"I do not wish to settle for fine... I want to know everything about you. Everything. So,"

"Maaari mo ba akong turuan?" [Won't you teach me?]

[nevertheless-moving]

unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.

Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.

and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.

(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)

Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self. 

Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.

The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?

Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!

Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and— 

Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—

You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...

What—when did you lose—

I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...

So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.

And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.

When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.

Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.

It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.

Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.

Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??

the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.

Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.

FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?

“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.

Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)

And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.

Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic,  being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.

Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life. 

Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.

Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.

Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.

It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal. 

Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.

What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.

I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.

So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.

Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.

Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—

well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—

and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?

i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”

Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).

But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.

Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.

And then the partners change again, the moment ended.

Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.

Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.

Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.

Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.

needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.

Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.

Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )

Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?

And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?

Opening drabble Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell) Scene from the Uberwald Grand Sneer

[astrhae]

"You changed your face, and then you found me. Do you know why?" "No." "To come home"

[thenamesapollo]

All the happiness that your dreams possess, may someday be real as it seems...

+ bonus doodles of the goo (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

[postcardsfromheapside]

Watching a lot of you try to work through what you call your frustrations with Veilguard's story, and making “suggestions” for how Bioware should have handled the romances, and all you're doing is revealing your personal insecurities.

And it's always people romancing Lucanis and Emmrich.

I admit there are some pacing issues, which I personally think happen based on when and how you hit certain parts of the game, and that's a mechanics issue Bioware could have handled better.

But some of the “suggestions” are y'all describing your fantasies. Not actual criticism.

Go write fanfic. That's what it's for.

[spadaaces]

Thinking about Akiren and his hometown…. I like to think/headcanon that he doesn’t hate it there. There is a strange sort of comfort being there at times, but it’s not really.. Home anymore. Same with his parents - my hc is that they’re pretty average (he goes through So Much shit all the time I think he deserves a Little bit of normalcy in his life lol). They’re nice and they care for him, but after living in Tokyo for a year and everything that happened that year, there’s this weird gap now.

Akiren went through so much in the span of that year and he changed a lot during that year. We obviously don’t know too much about pre-game Akiren, but it seems like he’s always had this strong conviction, but acted more reserved than he actually is, similar to how he keeps his head down when he’s put on probation. And then he does not only awaken to his persona and is able to rip of that mask both figuratively and literally, but he finds a place where he can truly start being himself. He finds people who also discover themselves and grow alongside him, and makes him stronger - and he finds people he truly belongs with. And despite all the shit they had to go through, it’s also some of the most fun he’s ever had and these people are so special to him and they understand him and he them and -

And then he has to go back home. And he knows they’re gonna miss each other, but also that he’ll see them again. And it is a little nice to be back, it’s peaceful for a change and at least he has Morgana with him. But it’s a bit too peaceful. There’s not the buzz of the city anymore, he’s not used to it being so quiet - he’s not used to having so few people around him anymore. The town is the same, his parents are the same, but he isn’t. And it feels weird cause nothing is necessarily wrong or bad there, he’s just so. Out of place. He’s a completely different person but no one in this town knows that. And so it’s really easy to slip back to how he’s always acted when he’s there. Because this isn’t where his real self is supposed to be.

Then summer rolls around, and he travels back to Tokyo and all his friends are there to welcome him and Morgana back and it finally feels like he can breathe again. Like he’s finally back where he belongs and he’s able to be his full honest self.

He’s home.

[cupcakewebkinz]

You know, I was thinking about an idea I had then realized just how angsty it would be on one side and how much fluff it would be on the other and I'm curious about other people's ideas too ngl

So like, I was toying around with the idea of Shanon coming back to Gardenview and snatching up the loser lesbians and bringing them home with her to save from... Whatever happened. Shanon has no idea, she was never allowed to know, so she just has two VERY traumatized toons now. She'll know how to keep Shelly entertained and happy, she was ALWAYS with Shelly, but I highly doubt she'd know how to keep Vee in check at all.

Vee would probably quickly spiral into a mental crisis about it too, as now everything has been destroyed in her eyes. Nobody remembers her gameshows because they ended years ago, nobody remembers her because Gardenview closed years ago, nobody's interested in learning about her as she's outdated technology to them now. She'd be alone, only able to quiz Shelly now, but she's heard all her questions and knows all the answers by now. She'd probably start self isolating because she just doesn't know what to do with herself, lashing out at Shanon because she genuinely doesn't understand why people aren't fans of her anymore and wants to blame someone except herself. She would be such a wreck and probably have major beef with any new technology Shanon brings home because it replaced her in her mind. Vee is now just... Vee. She's not a celebrity any more, she's not loved by anyone except the toon handler who took her in and her now popular dinosaur girlfriend, and she would not have a clue what to do about it.

Shelly would most likely have the opposite problem, she looks like a living toon just wandering around like she's a common sight to see - of course people would notice! Kids would ask her about fossils and she'd happily tell them all about what she is and their minds would be blown by how much she knows, she'd probably be asked to play by kids who think she looks really neat and be dragged to the sandbox to 'fossil hunt' whenever Shanon takes them to the park. Shanon very much would hide plastic fossils in there too just to see Shelly smile, like she used to before her museum shut down. She'd be such an interesting sight to see that she'd get stared at, often asked what she actually is, and probably would be the talk of the town for a while. Eventually everyone would know that Shelly is just there to have fun, don't bother her too much, but at first everyone would be so shocked by a living breathing toon they'd swarm the poor thing! I'm sure Shelly would be just a little irritated by the constant unwarranted attention and stares, but so happy she's no longer forgotten.

Their roles would reverse is what I'm getting at here. It gives so much Vee angst to work with and Shelly comfort... I am brainrotting over this idea if that's not obvious

[redpandavvstuffs]

"We need more clomplex female characters!!!"

Yall mfs couldn't even handle her 💀

[vaguely-concerned]

so for obvious reasons, rye is not generally all that popular with most of the senior watchers. however. I think there is a certain type of younger watcher to whom he is The ultimate hot badboy icon and fantasy. (we're talking about a group of extreme indoor kid goth nerds who've barely been outside. it doesn't take a lot ot achieve bad boy status in this context and the only thing in this world that lasts forever is a bad reputation in a small insular group like the watchers.) it's SO funny because rye thinks of himself as such a disappointing fuckup of a son of the grand necropolis. and meanwhile there are novices kicking their feet and giggling as they're like

'Ingellvar is so cool. no one knows where he's from he was found down here as a baby. mysterious orphan appeal. he could be a secret dalish prince or something for all we know. (*annoyed extra nerd watcher novice voice*: umm actually the dalish don't have princes, merrivar?? read a real book sometime maybe???) he's a rebel. he doesn't care what the senior watchers think no time for politics he just gets the job done. (*small sad rye voice* I care a lot what the senior watchers think actually. a pathetic amount, in fact. it just rarely seems like it helps anything at all) I heard he graduated almost top of his class even though he spent all his time as a student partying up in the city and having a torrid affair with the son of a noble family. sometimes in his spare time he wears a cool punk leather jacket but like the fantasy version of that. he has tattoos apparently but no one's seen them for years. yuh-uh it's true too, I know someone who knows someone he dated once. they say he saw a knife fight once. like, in a bar brawl, with living people. all that, and he's even sneakily emotionally unavailable. *starry-eyed sigh* what a dreamboat'.

needless to say this only grows worse with the events of the game, after he takes out the formless one and rumours start to spread that he maybe killed a god or something too???? and this being nevarra, more importantly he's out there killing dragons with his sworn companions?? like a fucking fairytale prince but with that devil-may-care rebellious streak???? he's the safely unavailable first crush at a distance of many a young watcher. now imagine the reaction when he shows up home for the first time in a year after the war of the banners accompanied by The one true bad boy fantasy to rule them all: literally the sad brooding crown prince of the crows of antiva in leather pants who has WINGS and a dark tortured side of his nature that he has to constantly battle against for the sake of those he loves.

(the perception vs. reality situation for both of these characterizations is. so unspeakably hilarious needless to say. consider how much of the above lucanis characterization is accurate to the person he actually is and then you've basically found the level of distortion lens being applied to rye as well. is most of it technically true? sure. 'technically' is having to do a whole world of heavy lifting there tho fhdfska)

what I'm really saying here is that there is a subsection of this group that's been ferociously writing rye/lucanis rpf from the moment they were seen trotting down into the necropolis depths together (other pairings within the lighthouse gang as a whole, caught in tantalizing glimpses as they visit the necropolis, of course having their own devotees), and when this fandom subgroup eventually discover they were right it's with all the insane glee of a sixteen year old fanfic writer on wattpad (is that still where the kids are these days. idk i'm getting old folks) finding out that their dark mafia prince AU is basically true. varric might be gone but the legacy of friendfiction lives on after him. the king of thedas rpf being the shoulders of titans that young watchers are standing on to write fevered WILDLY inaccurate depictions of the private life of two of the most low-key domestic quietly devoted and undramatic people on the continent, one of them being varric's own poor little meow meow slash mentee, is something that can actually be so personal. rye does not end up terribly famous in the end considering the shit he manages to get done in this game, and he thanks his lucky stars for it. but to a tight-knit community of mourn watch fic writers he is blorbo from my apocalypse. it's all I could have wished for him.

(funniest possible outcome of all this: myrna gets so fucking tired of trying to understand what the novices are being so tittery about that she asks rye 'watcher ingellvar with the realization that this is a long shot and the admission that vorgoth and I have exhausted all other avenues of investigation: do you possess secret insight about what an 'x reader' is. and also 'ship war'. your name seems to come up in this context a surprising amount'. 9000000 points of incoming psychic damage about to hit the fan.)

[ryllen]

penny alex is a good ship, i feel it in my bones - - - - - [ the real fuel is of penex is @ stardewsally ]

[dinokirby]

Hits my favorite characters with the Kirby Beam.☄️

🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐🦋⭐

Silly creature turns into a sillier creature.🧡

[ratstuckinamarble]

Zooble's issue basically being that body parts which feel right for them don't exist feels... Familiar. It's kinda liberating, seeing such a thing explored. I haven't seen it addressed with any nb character before.

[greennoobartist]

Im making these again lol

Anyways, Tumblr nation, today i offer you Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio Vio and Vio in a messy violet frame. Tomorrow? Who knows

[exploringcastleoblivion]

What would you be the deity of?

Cleansing Fire

Deity of righteous fury, justice, revolution, change, and hope for a better future. You would have been content living a normal life. They forced you into this. You could not keep your head down and close your eyes. You chose to pick up a weapon and fight. The weight of your choice weighs heavy upon your shoulders. Keep your head up.

The Wanderer

Deity of journeys, liminal spaces, of wanderlust, restlessness, discontentment. What is it you’re searching for? Is it not enough to just be here? Wanderer, where is your home? Are you looking for one? Do you want one? Things can only grow if they stop somewhere to take root. You cannot outrun yourself.

--------------------------------

Quiz HERE.

Tagged by @lal-ffxiv - Thank you!!

Not sure who's done this yet. Tentatively tagging @punchelf, @wind-up-nhaama, @elegant-etienne, @rockmehythlodaeus, @starforger, @avampyone, @dearestcherry, and anyone else reading this!