#but home doesn't exist
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i want to go home
#but home doesn't exist#actuallyabused#trauma vent#trauma core#traumacore#ok to rb#vent post#vent#actually traumatized#trauma
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tbh i do love the tidbit in lotdk 100 where bruce ends up being the one to purchase the drakes' tickets to the circus because jack forgot his wallet because listen. the utter tragedy it adds to the trifecta of complementary origins that are bruce, dick, and tim. the drakes almost didn't go! tim's origin almost didn't happen! by doing then a kindness, bruce ultimately helped contribute to their eventual doom! it's so juicy.
but also it is a bit humorous in that. jack: dooms the drake family by deciding to go to the circus to begin with. jack: almost saves the drake family through sheer dumbassery by forgetting his wallet. bruce: don't worry, brother, brother i got you, no happy endings in my gotham :D
#anyways let's discuss an it's a wonderful life bruce who doesn't exist#dick's parents die and there's no one there to take him in. possibly ends up exploited for his famous skills#tim and his parents go home that day due to forgetting money. tim never latches on to dick#and therefore he does not get obsessed with dick & cannot decide to save him in this scenario#and so on and so forth#(it's unhappy for most everyone involved)
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🐉 surprises you one day by attempting to converse with you fully in your mother tongue. No, not the common language that you seemed to have just automatically learned when you were whisked to Twisted Wonderland, but the language from your original world. Some of his pronunciations are hilariously awkward and he uses slangs here and there that doesn't fit with his usually formal appearance, but he's trying. God, he's trying.
And you don't know why but you feel like crying. This guy, socially inept as he is, is trying to make you feel like you're at home in a place so unlike home.
When you ask how in the world he knew about your language, he confesses that he's been keeping note of words and phrases you absentmindedly use in conversations, along with what he assumes are their meaning. He apologizes for taking too long to be confident enough to speak to you like this, but he was afraid that he'd sound like he's disrespecting your home if he didn't practice enough by himself.
"I know I sound like a fool. Your language is rather difficult on my tongue."
"It's fine... It's... It's more than fine. You didn't have to... You didn't... You didn't have to..." You can't find the words to say to him. You can't properly express your emotions.
"I do not wish to settle for fine... I want to know everything about you. Everything. So,"
"Maaari mo ba akong turuan?" [Won't you teach me?]
#It's my headcanon that Malleus finds it important to learn about your culture#even if it doesn't exist in his world#he will do his best to give you a piece of your home#twisted wonderland#ventique rambles#malleus draconia#malleus x reader
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unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.
Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.
and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.
(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)
Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self.
Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.
The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?
Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!
Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and—
Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—
You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...
What—when did you lose—
I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...
So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.
And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.
When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.
Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.
It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.
Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.
Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??
the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.
Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.
FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?
“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.
Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)
And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.
Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic, being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.
Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life.
Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.
Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.
Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.
It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal.
Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.
What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.
I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.
So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.
Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.
Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—
well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—
and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?
i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”
Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).
But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.
Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.
And then the partners change again, the moment ended.
Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.
Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.
Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.
Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.
needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.
Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.
Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )
Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?
And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?
Opening drabble Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell) Scene from the Uberwald Grand Sneer
#discworld#sam vimes#discworld au#nightwatch au#i literally drafted this post in December 2021#and i know it was living in my head for years already at that point#i have more somewhere aging like cheese in the back of my mind#discworld fanfic#night watch#Let this be free from my mind#Perhaps someone else will write it#BE FREE ANCIENT AU OF MY SOUL#For all my obsession with discworld I have but this one (1) AU though it tears at me like the seam of a pair of pants#The songs I have permanently associated with this au are slightly bonkers by the way#My au#Seriously there's like two full novels worth of content up here. Sybyll running away from home and living as a commoner#To mirror Sam joining upper class in original timeline you see?#Some early discworld murder Wizard nonsense when they try to poke at the temporal anomaly and the universe goes brrrr#Eventually catching up with color of Magic city burning bs and vimes is mad as fuck#Weird year that never was protecting people during sourcery#And when we start catching up with where he left#Oh ho ho you can't to forward to something that doesn't exist but maybe you can go sideways to a place that's got a tear in it#A sam vimes shaped tear#And his pregnant wife from 30 years ago in the other trouser leg#AND that's not even mentioning how carcers trial got taken to a...higher court
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"You changed your face, and then you found me. Do you know why?" "No." "To come home"
#doctor who#donna noble#fourteenth doctor#wilfred mott#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers#dwedit#dwgifs#david tennant#catherine tate#bernard cribbins#i'm fine this is FINE#he doesn't know where home is anymore#he doesn't believe in destiny#but if destiny exists#if home exists#it's his best friend in the whole wide universe
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Howdy howdy Saint ^^ Get this, Olivia and angel, enemies to lovers. They fight over Ren (or Teo 😋), but it's ok because they just make out in the end!!
Is this in character or no...
cw: Angel puts on gloss in this drabble (they're testin out Kiara's new makeup products), but it's still gender neutral and nondescript!!
Also... Not much enemies to lovers goin on here because I got impatient writing my own build up sgshjghjsjh
"Hmph. I did not get all dressed up just to be ignored like this."
With a slight pout, Olivia slouches against the reception desk and stomps her foot. Her eyes hadn't left Teo and Elanor's figures the moment she walked into the library — that is until you stepped out from the employee's lounge with a new tester product from Kiara in your hands.
Almost immediately, Olivia turns her attention towards you as she slams her hands on the counter in excitement.
"And you... That gloss looks way too good on you to go to waste!" You don't miss the way she eyes your lips curiously. The scowl on her face could've been mistaken for resentment, though her next words only seemed to contradict everything. "Wait... I know that tint— Is it Creston and Co? ...Could I try some? Please!"
With a grin, you gently cup Olivia's chin and lean in. Her eyes widen at your sudden proximity and a small gasp leaves her lips — clearly, she wasn't expecting you to do that — though she doesn't seem to move away. In fact, Olivia only seems to lean closer... Close enough to stand on her tip-toes and press her plush lips against yours.
Something sweet melds with the taste of your own fruity gloss, and you find yourself leaning in for more. Olivia happily obliges, tilting her head to the side with practised ease and gently reaching out to bury her hands in the front of your jacket.
The kiss deepens the moment you feel something warm against your lips, and just as you are about to reciprocate, you hear a deep grumble of someone clearing their throat behind you.
Conan.
Flushed, you pull back almost immediately while Olivia sends you an impish smile. You don't dare to look behind you, though you somehow know that Conan has already retreated into the very same staff lounge you emerged from previously.
"Hehe! Thanks for that!" With Teo now long forgotten, Olivia grabs one of your hands and gives it a gentle squeeze. "Hey... Wanna head to the pier after your shift? I think I'd like your attention all to myself now."
#ROSIE HOW CAN I COMPETE WITH OLIVIA AND REN NOW??? ROSIE BABES PLEASE COME HOME#THE BED IS COLD I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU SINCE YOU LEFT FOR TEO NATION (Eddie is literally right next to me)#Also?? Tumblr took away my Elanor Yellow.......... We're Jae Orange now T_T#Anways!! Ren?? Idk him!! He doesn't exist here :3 It's just Teo now#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — sai writes.#It was meant to be a silly 3-liner drabble from Olivia's POV.....#It was only meant to be a kiss.... How did it end up like this...... Now I'm falling asleep..... And she's calling a cab and#💖 — olivia.#silkbab3y
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penny alex is a good ship, i feel it in my bones - - - - - [ the real fuel is of penex is @ stardewsally ]
#penex#i find it so funny how sam's secret notes includes penny; but penny's secret note includes alex's grandparents but no sam#sdv#stardew valley#sdv alex#sdv penny#stardew alex#stardew penny#if farmer doesn't exist; i wish both of them happiness#stardew valley alex#stardew valley penny#fanart#penny just loves the warm atmosphere in mullner's household#she felt appreciated there#thanks to grandma evelyne#she is such an angel#but they both longing for a warm family & home#they are made for each other#just need a little push of fanarts from us is all#they are very connected emotional level#alex would want to protect penny from whatever pam's doing to her emotionally#and penny makes alex realizes he wants loving home more than fame & fortune#while he would still try to achieve his dream
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Zooble's issue basically being that body parts which feel right for them don't exist feels... Familiar. It's kinda liberating, seeing such a thing explored. I haven't seen it addressed with any nb character before.
#obviously everyone's experience is gonna be differently#but it hits close to home for me#and truth is I don't mind my body these days- it just doesn't always... feel like me.#whenever I think about what would be ideal I can't answer my own question#because a body I would feel 100% comfortable in does not exist.#and it's just... nice to see something like that#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc zooble#rätposting
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The fics where Knuckles has some cool powers from the master emerald or is like a very special guy who talks to the master emerald are so good but I've been thinking. What if he isn't. He's the guardian of the master emerald, not a user. Sonic is the one who can use the chaos emeralds and is basically the chosen one when it come to chaos energy, and Knuckles just guards it.
I just imagine Knuckles, who's been put on angel island and basically sacrificed his entire life to this thing and never received any form of acknowledgment, who then meets Sonic who's basically a chaos energy magnet. Chaos emeralds love him, master emerald responds to him. Sonic is there to use the energy, Knuckles is to only guard it
#like i just think it would be so fucked up#my man would be JEALOUS#like o basically hc the master emerald just popped a tiny knuckles or an egg into existence one day so it's very much its fault#that knuckles is there and has to fulfill this role#so this IS very much like how your mother doesn't really praise you ever until you bring your friend home who has better grades than you#and she gushes over them so you get to bask in the light a bit for a moment lmfao#👍#see my pastime is imagining ways in which i can make Knuckles and Sonic's relationship more strained#i really hope this makes sense man skcjidkdk#sonic#knuckles the echidna#sonic headcanons
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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due south is a show about a man faced with many emotionally complex situations that we may all encounter in our everyday lives. here, for example, his ghost dad approves of his gay date (inspires joy, relief) and then tells him he's moving in (annoying) to do ghost taxes (wildly confusing, closes in on horror).
#'i've been thinking about an office. i think i need an office.' 'what the hell would you do with an office?' fdjfkd#of course what he eventually mainly seems to do with his office(/cute little cabin home) is lure fraser into the closet#which is some extremely fertile ground for reading things into all on its own if you wanted#but i do hope he gets his taxes sorted out!! do you think they have separate forms for dead canadians#living with their son in chicago but maybe also in purgatory canada behind a possibly magical closet door?#are you living abroad if your canadian cabin is located in an american closet inside a canadian consulate on another plane of existence?#i bet the canadian tax authority doesn't have clear guidance on this in their FAQ. poor bob fraser#video#*#due south
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Some sketchy Frankly Dear stuff to get anyone through the day! <3
#welcome home#eddie x frank#frank frankly#eddie dear#frankly dear#frank x eddie#artist on tumblr#my art#mercy post bc I've been hella dead with my art#FEEDING THE FRANKLY DEAR TAG#reminder once again I love them#also oof I got reminded that Frank's head and non existent neck are actually huge in comparison to Eddie's#also can we get some taller Frank propaganda here?#doesn't really show but eeeehhh#technically they do be the same height but ANYWAYS#look at them#<3#adore them
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something i've been thinking about:
Wally is set up as a sort of "main character" by the whrp. he's said in the site's description of the show to have introduced the main theme/lesson of the day's episode, and then the rest of the neighbors join him on his escapades. but then we have our first glimpses of everyone's actual dynamics and characters through the audios and you look at Wally and its like
first of all, thats an npc. second, nearly everybody else has severe main character syndrome
but its fascinating how Wally is just kind of... There. he doesnt talk much. he doesnt contribute beyond a couple of lines. its more like he joins the others on their shenanigans. he fades into the background. he's off to the side while everyone else holds conversations & leads the moment
Wally, despite being described as Thee character, is borderline background.
& whats even more interesting, within his individual secret audio files and interactions - he's almost chatty. not only that but the way he talks is more confident and faster paced. he's taking initiative. he can be kinda pushy. when talking to the qa/whrp/Us, he acts more like the character his descriptions portray. he acts more like a person instead of a puppet waiting for his next cue
I cant tell if - when around the neighbors - his tepid milk behavior is a purposeful act or if he's masking. and if he's masking, is it deliberate or involuntary? and in regards to both, why is he acting so different? It could be tied to what he's trying to accomplish. if he's trying to "restore" Welcome Home, it would make sense for him to act as he does around the neighbors - he wouldnt want to clue them in that he knows so much more than he's letting on, would he?
but then that begs another train of thought - what if he isn't acting or masking? if there is a time discrepancy between Wally's interactions with the qa/whrp/Us & the more 'official' audios, that could explain the difference in behavior. we could be getting glimpses into "future" (read: current) Wally, who's had much more time to figure himself out since we can safely assume he started out as a blank slate. we could be seeing a more experienced Wally than the one seen with his friends.
of course that line of thinking loses some merit when considering the 14 "bug" audios. or it could lend to it... if we're seeing a more experienced Wally but his friends are only seeing what he allows them to. it's still him, just... a carefully curated version.
in general it could really tie into the themes of identity and change and being other, to me. when you're so different - or you feel so different - that you can't bring yourself to be your most authentic you around your friends. when you feel like you have to hold back and be who you think they expect you to be, or what would be most palatable. most normal. will they accept you as you really are? there's always the fear and terror that the people you consider closest to you won't. or when you're so scared of change that you'll shove down & lock away parts of yourself so that you can keep things as you are. because once they know you've changed, so will they. and really, do you want to even accept that you've changed? what if that's what scares you most of all - that you're different, you've metamorphosized, you can't go back to the way things were because you yourself are no longer the person you were before. there is no reversing this no matter how much you try or pretend
#its just so fascinating#the whrp: wally's The Guy!#wally (with his friends): the most lukewarm dude ever#then he's alone or alone with home and its like Hi My Name Is Wally Darling & Welcome To Jackass *off-tune guitar riff*#bbg has ✨problems✨#and like - im giving all of his stuff a re-listen to make sure im not misremembering or completely talking out of my ass#but his phone call? the way his VA is delivering the lines seems So fuckign different than in the shared audios#his tone is flatter. he sounds more sure of his words and himself. he Sounds like he's in control and knows it.#immediately going from that to a shared audio where he puts more inflection in his voice & doesnt talk much#and when he does talk its slow. meandering. his lines are more befitting of his audience surrogate role#which only makes me feel more like he's acting/masking (again: if that time discrepancy does indeed exist)#which - as someone who kinda compulsively masks around Literally Everyone no matter how much i want to Not - it kinda hits hard!#i suspect that he Is masking instead of acting. he's The Most Autism as we all know so it would more than fit#and that could add an extra layer if it's automatic and he can't turn it off. or if he doesn't want to turn it off#but also acting... a misplaced attempt to protect his friends and world? not feeling like he can share his 'true' self? augh#wally darling you make me unwell. i want to dissect you#wh speculation#welcome home speculation#homebogging#and then listening to his little record audios#he starts out talking like he does in the shared audios and then slowly gains confidence until he's speaking more like he does in the call#just. wally not being talkative in the neighborhood to the point where everyone's like 'yeah wally isnt much of a talker'#vs him chatting away to the qa/whrp/Us#of course it could be because he has to carry the entire conversation on his own#But. but. you can still carry a one sided conversation and be hesitant or awkward or um. missing the word rn but short-sentenced#brief? succinct? concise?#wally's fully trying to make conversation with someone he knows can't reply. which is interesting#so many ways to take that. well. three#maybe he doesnt feel listened to in his day to day life / he feels more comfortable and can relax / hes been alone for a long while#anyway there may be more ways to take this but this is all my tiny poppyseed brain can reach atm
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I was just thinking about the Dog Bois dancing!!! I figured Machete would be a little awkward and embarrassed, but Vasco would be a patient and enthusiastic teacher
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#on the list of romantic couples activities that make me kind of sad if I actually stop to think about it for longer than three seconds#obviously dancing can't happen in public#the technology to record music doesn't exist yet so everything has to be played live in person#would they risk hiring a musician or a few if they did it behind closed doors at home#or is practicing dancing in silence the only option#an-autistic-with-personhood#answered#I reckon Vasco would be adept at least a handful of court dances I think that's a standard upper crust pastime#Machete would feel foolish about even trying but be quietly thankful about being included
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"We need more clomplex female characters!!!"
Yall mfs couldn't even handle her 💀
#pink diamond#pink diamond steven universe#complex characters#Mfs who hates pink diamond and not the other diamonds are basically stupid as hell#Steven universe#She may have hurted people but doesn't change the fact that she was trying to fix her mistakes#“She left spinal!” It would've been risky. Pink couldn’t have brought spinel. She would’ve died in the war because of her happy go lucky na#“She traumatized many people!!” STFU ur acting as if she wasn't traumatized and abused as well 💀#She's not 100% evil and not 100% good yall#“She left her all her problems to steven!” Well how the actual fuck was she supposed know when she don't have future vision?#Like bro even Garnet didn't knew 💀💀#The way this fandom treats pink diamond...#Forever a pink diamond defender#Gtfo if ur a pink diamond hater this is NOT for you 💀#She was like a child in a toxic home#We saw her development backwards#PD is the perfect example of no matter what you change#in some way#your past will always haunt you. she never wanted all of that for Steven 😕#Anyway if it wasn't for her and stopping the colonization steven universe would've never existed#cotton candy
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A Softer Trigun, part 22/?
pt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
and an Alt, bc I just can’t decide these days :’)
#a softer trigun#something something reference towards the difference between ‘house’ and ‘home’ something something#(smthn smthn the profound yet agonizing experience of having to Just Keep Living On after a tragedy has occurred smthn smthn)#(smthnn uhh the extraordinary scope of human adaptability/perseverance--so good at surviving that it becomes it's own form of torture and#--suffering. stranded in a habitat unfit to hold you and yet… you made it. existence that feels more often like a curse than a blessing.#But it’s yours.#cough cough.#uhhhh.#.....smthn smthn.)#ok onto real tagging now#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#vash the stampede#vash the humanoid typhoon#vash stampede#roberto de niro#rosa trigun#(look i KNOW she doesn't have her own tag but she's GETTING one)#i don't even care man. I tagged steve from trigun 1998 too and I don't know Either of their last names#we ball anyways#vash trigun#trigun vash#vash tristamp#vash saverem
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