#but him and gilbert are more direct opposites

[goofy-episode]

thinking about how greely and sir gilbert are the only main alphas who wear capes and those capes are clashing colors (purple and red) like how the two characters' personalities tend to clash

[samsalami66]

Don't Go Kicking My Heart

Another part of the soccer au, it is time for fluff and trauma! Enjoy!!

Read on ao3!

Today was the first day of a new era. A new age of football.

The world of sports would remember this day. 

The day Morpheus Ateleios, winner of the European Golden Shoe, first played for Fiddler’s Green, the highest ranking football club in all of Europe. 

Or, well, the day he first trained with them. His first match was still far off, the next season only started in a few months after all, but today was his first day as a part of the team. He would face the players for the first time not on opposite sides of a field, but as a teammate. 

Morpheus was about to be sick, standing in front of these unfamiliar training facilities in the middle of London, miles away from Wych Cross and Roderick’s now cold and dead body. The distance wasn’t enough. No distance could make up for the ache he still felt in his bones, in his muscles, for the bruises slowly healing on his back and chest. 

But thinking about the ghost of Roderick Burgess still being imprinted on his skin was not what really got to Morpheus’ stomach. 

No, it was the fact that he would face Robert Gadling for the first time as a colleague. A part of the team. 

Gadling was… well, to say Morpheus and him did not get along would probably be an understatement. They had a bit of a turbulent history. 

Said history might have involved red cards for both of them during their latest match, following a disagreement they had decided to solve with fists rather than words. 

It hadn’t been one of his proudest moments. 

There was just something about Gadling, something that set him off in the worst way possible. Morpheus wasn’t a pleasant person to be around, he’d admit, but Gadling would stare at him with such distaste, it felt entirely unwarranted. Jessamy would say it was jealousy, because Morpheus was clearly the better player between the two of them. But who knew, perhaps the Fiddlers’ star player was simply a homophobic asshole, like so many others in this sport. Maybe Roderick had a point when he said that nobody would want to play with him or share a locker room if they knew about him, about his fantasies. 

Perhaps he had been right to announce them to the world.

But god, was he really about to walk into a locker room full of people who would rather have him dead than anywhere near them? Would they refuse to undress before him, just like the Riggers had done? And what would Gadling do to him in the privacy of a training facility, where there was no referee to step between them, no cameras pointed in their direction? 

Fuck, all of this had been a terrible idea. He should leave, should tell Gilbert that he simply couldn’t play for this club, that he would have to find another player, that there was simply too much antagony and hatred and-

“You alright there, mate?” A voice, all too familiar, sounded from behind him. Morpheus couldn’t help the yelp that escaped his lips at the sudden appearance of Robert Gadling right in his personal space. He had been too caught up in his thoughts and didn’t even notice that the other man had approached him. It took every ounce of self-control Morpheus possessed to school his face back into something less terrified as he turned towards his old rival. 

“Why do you care?” He replied, venom dripping from his words. All it earned him was a raised eyebrow. 

“Well, you look like you’re walking to your death sentence. Mind, I don’t actually know what you’re doing here, of all places, but I’m pretty sure the death penalty was abolished in 1969 over here in the UK.” Robert Gadling looked thoughtful for a moment, one hand coming up to scratch at his beard, and Morpheus was left to stare at him. None of this answered his question. “Unless you committed treason of course, the death penalty for that was abolished in 1998 I think. Not that it matters much, both are in the past now, but the more you know!”

There was a moment of silence after Gadling stopped talking, one in which Morpheus contemplated if he should pinch himself for the unlikely reason that this was all a dream. Though surely not even his brain could come up with such impossible scenarios all on its own. After all, he knew nothing about English history. 

Perhaps if he didn’t answer, the other man would leave. 

But no such luck. Robert Gadling was not fazed by his silence. 

“Not a fan of history, eh? Fair enough, I guess it’s not everyone’s cuppa tea.” Gadling winked at him then, and Morpheus decided that perhaps pinching himself wasn’t the worst idea after all. A stab of pain shot up his arm, but, again, no luck. This really was no elaborate nightmare. Gadling was talking to him. “How about a joke, then? Something to wipe that mopey look off your face?”

He did not wait for Morpheus’ answer. He would not have gotten one anyway, but it was still rude. 

“Why’s Cinderella bad at football?” Morpheus was dreading the answer to this question more than he had dreaded entering the facilities in the first place. Robert Gadling waited for a moment, if for dramatics or simply to torture him, Morpheus didn’t know.

“Because she lost her shoe and ran away from the ball!” 

It was an awful joke. Really, it might be in the top ten of the worst jokes Morpheus had ever heard. And yet, he felt the familiar feeling of laughter bubbling up from deep within him, a sort of hysteria he simply couldn’t control, couldn’t stop as it was about to simply burst from his chest. 

Perhaps it was the whole situation that made him hysterical, the stress of the past few days that came crashing down on him that had sent him into delirium. Or, maybe, he simply wasn’t very sane to begin with.

Morpheus tried desperately to clasp a hand over his mouth in order to stop the horrible noise from escaping his lips, but it was a futile attempt. Waves of laughter shook his body and the sound, only slightly muffled by his hand, spilled into the air between him and Robert Gadling. 

Morpheus knew that his laugh was horrible. Back at school people had held their ears whenever he laughed, much later people had simply asked him to stop whenever he couldn’t catch himself in time. Roderick had had the cane. But Gadling did not do any of those things. 

Gadling was simply… looking. He looked… amused? Fond, perhaps? Morpheus couldn’t really see through the tears that were building in his eyes as he tried to calm down. But he had to be imagining things, nobody had ever looked fond when confronted with his joy. And Gadling… Gadling hated him.

Didn’t he? 

“Looked like you needed that.” he said, tone warm, and Morpheus wasn’t too sure about it anymore. “Come on, I’ll bring you wherever you need to go. And call me Hob, yeah? My friends usually do.”

Robert Gadling clapped a hand on his shoulder, and Morpheus had never felt so unsteady on his feet or in his world-view. 

It was minutes later that the two of them entered the training facilities of Fiddler’s Green, Gadling chattering away at Morpheus’ side as if they were old friends. He talked about anything and everything, topics seemingly unrelated to one another, though somehow Morpheus managed to keep up with the jumps in his stories. How he went from a camping trip the team went on last month to when he went fishing with his father when he was younger, to the anatomy of grasshoppers they had presumably used for fishing, and the physical differences between grasshoppers and crickets. 

It was weirdly familiar, so similar to how his own brain worked. Though he could never verbalise his thoughts like this, without overthinking every single word. Gadling didn’t particularly seem to care if he could keep up, just kept talking and gesturing as they walked. 

It was… calming. Morpheus found himself hoping that he didn’t stop any time soon. 

But, of course, they had a destination. And once they reached it, Gadling slowly came to a stop in his rambling. Before them were the doors to the locker rooms, through which Morpheus heard voices, broken up by laughter, louder than he had ever experienced a locker room to be at Fawney Rig. 

The Riggers hadn’t talked much to one another. Certainly hadn’t laughed together.

“Right, Gilbert should be with the other guys. Do you want me to get him or come inside?”

Considerate. Morpheus wished he didn’t have to go into this room. But there was no point, if he was supposed to work and play with these men in the future. 

“I would come in, if you don’t mind.” 

God, Morpheus hated how small his voice sounded. Gadling must be aware of what he was actually asking. The question Would you allow someone like me into your changing rooms? hidden somewhere between the lines. But the other man simply raised an eyebrow at him, smiled fondly and held the door open for him. 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”

Morpheus remembered very clearly how the Riggers had once asked him to come inside the locker rooms after Roderick had outed him, just to close and lock the door in his face. 

It had been three years since he last stepped foot into a shared locker room. And Robert Gadling invited him, his rival, inside with a smile. 

Morpheus hoped the tears stinging in his eyes weren’t too obvious.

As they entered, member after member turned to look at them with an air of surprise and curiosity. One of them, blond, American, and with a devastatingly handsome smile, whistled and waggled his eyebrows in Gadling’s direction. 

“Did you finally have the guts to talk to Mister Dreamy without starting a fight, Robbie?”

When Morpheus turned to look at the other man, he could see that his tanned skin turned red around his cheeks, all the way up to his ears. Huh, Morpheus hadn’t known that Gadling felt embarrassment over their common disagreements on the field. He had always seemed very confident in his anger.

“Shut it, Cori. He’s here to talk to Gilbert.”

Just as Gadling said it, the man in question looked up from some papers he had been studying, with a smile spreading over his face. “Oh, Mister Ateleios!” Gilbert stood quickly to offer him his hand, which Morpheus took without much hesitation. The coach of Fiddler’s Green was a homely man, soft and welcoming in every way Roderick hadn’t been. “It’s wonderful to have you, son, just wonderful! I’m glad to see you’ve found your way just fine.” 

Morpheus couldn’t remember when someone had last called him son. Perhaps when he had last seen his parents… some six-odd years ago. Though, honestly, his father had stopped calling him son long before that. It made a part deep within him ache to hear it again, from a stranger nonetheless. But he couldn’t get emotional in front of all these people, not now, so he forced a smile and a nod, and hoped his voice didn’t break when he answered. 

“Yes, Mister Gadling was kind enough to lead the way. I am honoured to be here.”

The elder man patted his shoulder, fatherly, and Morpheus was a hair’s breadth away from breaking down. 

“Glad Robert could make himself useful at least, when he’s already never on time.” Gadling pouted at that, but didn’t otherwise react. Such a statement from Roderick would have had the entire room cowering in fear. But these men weren’t afraid. It was strange, but at the same time filled Morpheus with hope that this perhaps wasn’t a huge mistake. “And now that you two are here as well, it’s time for the big announcement, wouldn’t you say?”

Gilbert hadn’t warned the team of him? With all their history? Either the man had incredible trust in his men or he didn’t care much about Morpheus’ physical well-being.

Morpheus was about to be sick after all. 

“What’s the announcement, boss?” a raven-haired man asked from their right, curiosity in his voice. Or was it mistrust?

“Well, boys, Mister Ateleios here approached me a few weeks ago, asking to become a part of the team. And I signed him on, of course. He will take Paul’s place, since his spot opened up with the end of last season.” 

Morpheus closed his eyes, preparing himself for protest, for judgement, for insults. All of it would be reasonable, and he wasn’t stupid enough to hope for a better reaction. He had landed Gadling in hospital once, for Christ’s sake. He would be lucky if nobody resorted to violence in the face of what must feel like betrayal from their coach-

“Oh fuck yeah, we will kick ass this season with Morpheus on our team!”

Gadling’s excited voice cut through the silence like a knife through butter, and suddenly the whole room erupted into cheers. Hands found his shoulders and back, patting them with enthusiasm as Morpheus blinked his eyes open in surprise. The men were smiling at him, not a hint of malevolence in any of their faces. Robert Gadling was practically vibrating with excitement, his eyes shining like those of a child at Christmas. Nobody had ever looked at Morpheus like that, like his presence was a thing to look forward to. 

It would change, surely. They were happy to have his skills on their time, were looking forward to a successful season. That was all. 

It would change. 

Morpheus was sure of it. 

- - - 

The next day, Morpheus was the first ready for training. He was early, really. Dreadfully early. When Roderick said training started at eight, he had expected the team to show up at six at the latest. But apparently the Fiddlers were less inclined to begin a day so early. 

No matter, a few extra hours would not do him any harm. 

He could warm up already, set up a few exercises. Perhaps it would reflect on his conviction to be a valuable player for the team, so they would perhaps forgive his lack of character. 

It was as good a plan as ever. 

He started off with stretching his legs and feet, before moving onto his arms and neck. It was calming, to spend some minutes in tranquil silence, simply feeling the muscles in his body stretch and loosen for the day ahead. Just as he was about to start his last set of stretches, a voice came from the side of the field, which almost caused him to strain his neck with how fast he turned around to look at the source. 

Of course, it was Gadling. 

“Did you hear about the team whose back four was only two fullbacks?”

That. Didn’t make any sense. What was that supposed to mean? Had he been supposed to do preparations for today’s training? Research the teams they would be playing? Gods, if he had already missed such a vital task on his second day they would never tolerate him, they would put him on the bench and find a different player, they-

“Apparently they're double stuffed.”

It was another joke. A pun. A horrible, terrible, awful pun. 

Morpheus couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, half-delirious, his heart beating so fast in his chest he felt a bit faint. 

He hadn’t misstepped. No reason for punishment. He was okay. 

Except that he was laughing, freely, before Robert Gadling. 

He really had to get a grip on himself. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep the laughter in, couldn’t stop, not even when tears were running down his cheeks and his stomach felt like he had done a hundred situps. 

Gadling was smiling when he came closer, as he seemed to do so very often since they had met in front of the facility. He sat down next to him, mirroring his current position, and Morpheus couldn’t help but smile back at him as they began to stretch together, Gadling once again regaling him with stories and anecdotes and seemingly random facts. 

It was nice. 

Morpheus had absolutely no idea how to deal with it. But he decided to simply accept it for what it was. 

- - - 

On Saturdays, the Fiddlers met for drinks. 

It was an unspoken rule, a tradition, and Morpheus had been invited during that first week of training with the team. Therefore, it was important to leave a positive impression. 

He arrived, dressed in a tux and carrying a bottle of wine, at the address Gadling had sent him. It was… not a real restaurant, nor another place he recognised. It didn’t seem to be a place where any of the other players lived either. The sign on the front of the building read The New Inn and from inside Morpheus could hear the same laughter and joy he had come to associate with the locker rooms of Fiddler’s Green. 

They were a loud bunch, almost irritatingly so, if it weren’t for the warmth their company provided. Spending time with them was easier than it had ever been with the Riggers. 

Upon entering Morpheus was greeted with cheers and whistles, and he realised very quickly that he was immensely overdressed. The team sat around a large table towards the side of the room, dressed in jeans, t-shirts and hoodies (except Ken and Cori, those two technically wore shirts, though Morpheus was not entirely sure that they could really qualify as such with how little they were covering.). Gadling sported a fading band-tee about two sizes too large and sweat-pants.

Gods above, Morpheus would stick out like a sore thumb. Why had nobody told him about the dress-code?

“Looking good, Dreamy!” Cori called over the cheers, a grin on his face. “Dress to impress! Robbie will look dreadfully underdressed next to you.”

The man in question kicked Cori underneath the table. 

“Ow! What, it’s not my fault you roll from your couch upstairs right down to drinks night!” 

The tips of Gadling’s ears turned red at the other man’s words, and Morpheus almost felt the need to defend him. After all, it was his being overdressed, not Gadling being undressed, that was the faux-pas here. 

But in the spirit of good impressions Morpheus simply sat down on the free chair next to Gadling and placed the bottle of wine on the table. It was immediately nicked by Mervyn, an appreciative whistle leaving his lips as he read the label. “Good stuff, Dreamy. Cheers!”

That nickname, twice already this evening. Morpheus wasn’t entirely sure if it existed to make fun of him or was simply a thing these people did. It had been there since day one, and apparently the team wasn’t about to stop anytime soon. It… did not bother Morpheus too much. He had never had a nickname. Roderick had only ever called him Morpheus, and he had only ever said it with hatred, disappointment or cold detachment. Never with humour, joy or fondness, had never used it to tease him. 

“Why did the winger miss the match?”

Gadling’s voice, quiet and right next to his ear, quickly pulled Morpheus out of his thoughts. It was a question. Had he missed a part of the conversation? Was he supposed to answer? Or, no, it wasn’t another one, was it…?

“He was busy chasing ball.” 

Oh, fuck, it was another one of Gadling’s horrible, god-awful puns. That was it. Proof that Gadling hated him, had just been nice to him to gain some twisted sort of amusement. Morpheus knew the laughter was coming this time, knew he was helpless against it bubbling up in his throat. He didn’t want to face the whole team as they were subjected to his laugh. Surely they would tell him to stop, to keep quiet, to leave the inn, laugh at him. 

But there was no helping it. With his face hidden behind his hands, Morpheus allowed the sound to spill over and mix with the laughter around them. Seconds passed by, and the noise around him did not stop. Conversations continued, drinks were drunk, and nobody seemed to react at all. 

Ever so slowly, Morpheus dared to raise the hands from his face and to peek into the group of people around him. 

Nobody was batting an eye. 

Stunned, and more than a little confused, Morpheus let his hands drop to his lap. Beside him, Gadling was nursing his beer, almost as if he hadn’t just tried to embarrass him in front of the entire team. Or… perhaps he really hadn’t tried to. Nobody was laughing at him after all. Nobody was shouting at him to keep quiet or to go outside. 

Almost as if it were okay for him to just… be. 

- - - 

About a month later, Morpheus sat in his apartment on his day off. A Sunday. The first of the month. 

It was a quiet day, warm and sunny and the only sounds were the birds chirping outside.

That was, until someone decided it would be a brilliant idea to abuse his doorbell. Probably some reporter, or an obnoxious fan. They would get bored soon. Very soon. 

Ten minutes later, the doorbell was still ringing and Morpheus had had enough. 

“Gamo to kerato sou. People nowadays have zero respect for privacy.”

Morpheus was ready to yell at whoever was standing behind the door, scare them off so they would never show their face here ever again. 

But behind the door was Gadling. And Cori. And Matthew and Mervyn and John and Ken and… even Gilbert was there. Gadling was holding a cake in his hands. Self-made, by the looks of it. 

The frosting read Happy One Month Anniversary!

Morpheus was about to cry. 

He couldn’t help it. He rushed forward, right into the arms of Robert Gadling. Because this must have been his idea, insufferable, incredible man that he was. Considerate. God, he was always so considerate. Cheering him up with stupid puns every single day, forcing him to relax, to trust, to breathe, to be. 

Forcing Morpheus to enjoy his company. Seek it out even. He didn’t do hugs. And yet, here he was. 

“Thank you, Hob.” he whispered, so only Hob could hear. The arms around him tightened, and the other man pressed his cheek against his own. 

“Anytime, Dream.”

[secretskeepoffandommadness]

Omegaverse Ikemen Prince Poll Results

First, thank you to all who contributed. I didn't expect as many votes!

I will post screenshots if the results and give my opinion on characters briefly, but neither of them mean that it will be 100% the dynamics I will use in my main writings. These will have a proper post on my main blog when I'm ready.

For start, I will say I love the idea of most of the princes being Omegas, but I will start with some guys who I can't say as that at all.

As much as I love the conflict of personalities that seem the opposite of the dynamic's expectation, some characters just fit better with their expected dynamic.

For Ikemen Prince, in my opinion, these characters are: Jin, Leon and Sariel as Alphas.

Results seems to agree with it, because their votes are so close to unanimous, with less than 30% divided for the other dynamics.

And on the same category but a different dynamic from above: Rio as a Omega.

His votes aren't quite as high, but are still over half of them.

A character I like the idea of the conflicting dynamic x personality, but can't see that being my main option, instead I would save this for specific AUs, is Chevalier. So my final opinion is that he is an Alpha (although he seems quite neutral, and I can also see him being kind of adynamic, but that's beyond the scope of this).

Community votes also go in the same direction as his percentage is also quite high.

Princes I'm quite neutral about because I still don't know them enough. But if I had voted, I would go with Alpha for Luke and Beta for Gilbert.

Their votes are more spread out. Gilbert is the first my vote wouldn't be for the most popular option, but people probably know him better than me.

Clavis is another I'm still learning about, but I know him better than the former two, and for me he is the most Beta of the princes.

Seems people agree.

Silvio is very confusing. He comes off as pretty Alpha-like in the begging, but as hus route progresses, the more I can see him as an Omega as well.

In the end, unlike with Chevalier, I lean mire towards Omega Silvio. Mostly because it seems fun.

But I don't disagree with community's opinion being mostly Alpha. It makes the most sense.

Yves is another I'm conflicted on. Omega seems obvious, but I like Beta Yves as well. I would go with the later only to test it.

As expected, his votes for Omega are quite high.

For the twins, I was more sure of Alpha Licht and Beta Nokto, although the later also has strong Omega vibes.

People match my opinion on Licht and the vibes I had from Nokto.

As for Keith, I made another, separate poll, but I will consider the first one here.

Host seems pretty Omega while Alter has strong Alpha vibes. Although I like the conflict if the opposite, the only way for them to have different dynamics is Alter feeling like a different dynamic than the one Host presented as, but they still would have the same biological dynamic that rules some things about them...

They are really confusing and have all kinds of opportunities, but I like their presented dynamic and Host's being Omega and Alter adjusting to it.

But I understand community going for Beta. It balances out having two of them with different vibes and don't go towards the obvious.

That would have been my second option.

I only have vibes on the new princes, since we know little of them. My votes would be for Alpha Matthias, Beta Azel and Omega Kagari. (although I've seem someone post about Omega Matthias and I'm not opposed to all of them being Omegas.

The only one where my opinion differs from community vote is Azel. You probably also know more about him than me.

As for the side characters, I added them late, but I never really thought about them. I would go with:

Alpha: Cyran and Lucien

Omega: Carlo

Beta: Liam, Roderic and Walter

The only one I don't match final vites seems to be Roderic.

Last but not least, Emma.

I was in conflict. General otome protagonist vibe is Omega and I wouldn't disagree with it.

She also has a vibe that would make me think Alpha. But compared to Mai, she doesn't have as much if that Alpha vibe.

So I think of her more as a Beta.

(less decisively, maybe her dynamic could be whatever pairs well with her partner and the kind of fic you want)

Community went with the same dynamic as me, but Emma herself said she's an Alpha 😁

[lana7779]

People should really be careful when saying things like "hey, you should write (insert the randomest idea)", because by god, I will make it happen.

So here we are, 2.5k words of Gil taking out Break's hairpins...

Yuuuup... That's all this is...

Pulling out your partner’s hairpins as a metaphor for sex.

Gil was angry. Overall, relieved, of course, but still, very angry that Xerxes didn’t tell him. Didn’t tell him that he was blind, and carried that weight in secret. 

After Yura’s mansion when they got back the Rainsworth mansion and the debrief was over, they each went to their rooms, but Gilbert followed Xerxes to his. 

When he arrived, he saw the blind man fumbling with his hair pins, turned away from the mirror on the dresser because he no longer needed it. That angered Gilbert even more. He stalked into the room, not bothering to keep his presence a secret and slammed his hands down on either side of the Mad Hatter, trapping him with his body against the wood behind him. 

Break jumped a bit at the abrupt sound, Gilbert’s anger radiating off of him practically like heat. He kept his hands by his hair, looking in the direction in which he could feel the younger was near him. And he was so damn near. The reason Gilbert’s anger was comparable to heat is because he was indeed close enough to feel every fibre of Gil’s being. 

Gilbert probably felt like he could get this close only because Break couldn’t actually see him. Whatever the reason, his presence was penetrative, though not unwelcome. It was his favourite little pathetic Gilbert after all… What could he possibly do to him that Sharon already hasn’t put him through with her harisen? Although, being this close to the Raven, he truly did not know what to expect. So he pretended as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Aside from that loud bang of Gilbert’s hands against the dresser. 

The Raven breathed heavily, composing himself to not scream at his mentor in such close proximity. It would be rather counterintuitive to yell at someone whose all other senses except for sight were sharper now. Or could Break be going deaf as well and wasn’t telling him that either? 

Either way, all that came out of him was a measured sentence, the only question that he needed confirmation on from the source himself. Head bowed in front of his mentor, he asked. “You really can’t see… Can you?”

Despite showing the best fighting Gilbert has seen from his teacher in a while, the sight of the older fiddling with the hairpins was quite pitisome. At this point, he was wondering if eyesight was truly the issue or just lack of skill in the hair department. 

Break thought of a million different ways to retort to that question. To tease Gilbert about barging into his room like that and to now be bent over him like so. He wanted to. He really did. But at the end of the day, he could not be more grateful to the person that saved him from committing an irreversible mistake. He lowered his hands from the back of his hair in defeat. In an unnaturally small voice, he confirmed the younger’s suspicion. “No.”

Break both heard and felt the sharp inhale that Gilbert took. It was so… desperate… as if a part of Gil hoped for the opposite answer. But there he was, disappointing his subordinate. 

At this point, Gil decided to look up into Break’s unseeing eye. It was so unnerving, because Break looked back at him, and for a moment, he thought he could see recognition and some sensory input, but no. The iris was unfocused, not looking him directly in the eye as one would in this close proximity. Break was just doing his best estimate to figure out where he should be looking. 

Gil let out a defeated sigh, seeing how there was nothing to be fighting here for. No bargaining nor anger will do him nor Break any good here. He took a long look at his mentor and the situation they were in. He was in Break’s room, effectively pinning him against his own dresser, a blind man, no less. How opportunistic of him… Granted, had he tried to do so earlier, it would have definitely ended with his being thrown out in the most creative ways Break could conjure at the time. Now though, all Break did was stand there, accepting fate for what it was. 

Gil leaned forward to look behind Break’s head at the mess that was created there after a whole evening, which also happened to include a fight. With his breath ghosting over Break’s ear, he asked quietly. “How did you even get them in there?”

With Gil this close, Break suddenly felt uneasy, a slight heat rushing through his body. They’ve never been this close before outside of training and fighting. There was something… intimate about this moment. Not only that, but Gil’s sudden change in tone. Going from angry to soft after Break’s confession really put him through some mental hoops. 

This close to Gilbert, he could smell the lingering scent of his cologne mixed with cigarette smoke. He tried not to inhale too deeply so as to not appear as if he was actively sniffing his student. Though, he dared say, the scent was pleasant to his taste. However, the warm breath on his ear… there was nothing he could have done to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine. In hopes that Gilbert wouldn’t notice, he answered his question. “Sharon…”

But Gilbert noticed. How could he not, being this close to someone, and being the one with eyesight. Break’s visible bodily reaction was very noticeable and Gil couldn’t help the smile that passed on his lips. He brought a hand up to hover over the back of Break’s hair, trying to find the best place to start with the hairpins

Break only continued to talk in an effort to disguise his growing comfort at being this close to another man. “She really likes all things dress up and hair, so naturally she was the one to--ahh…” 

Gilbert finally touched his hair, barely, but still noticeable enough to make Break lose his train of thought and gasp in awe over how nice the sensation felt. 

Gilbert pulled his hand back when he heard and felt the gasp. He only touched a few of the strands to see if they were a good beginning spot, but Break’s reaction made him hesitate. “Hm? What is it?”

“Nothing!” Break shook his head, embarrassed with himself at his own reaction. ‘What the fuck was that?!’ 

“Alright… you let me know if I’m hurting you, okay?” Gil reassured and went back to being infinitely close to Break. 

“Mhmm,” Break hummed his agreement and immediately fought back a low whimper once Gil’s hand actually fully immersed itself in his hair. What was this boy doing to him???

When Sharon played and fiddled with his hair, it didn’t feel like much. Just a necessity he had to sit through. But with Gilbert… the whole ordeal felt different. He was oh so aware of their proximity, but also there was something about knowing that Gil’s rough gun handling hands were doing the most miniature of tasks such as taking hairpins out of someone’s hair...

His mind swam. Maybe he should just call Sharon in here and get this over with, with no further complications to their relationship. Instead, he found himself gripping Gilbert’s forearm unconsciously, tilting his head in the direction of Gilbert’s head. What was wrong with him?

However, shortly after he realized he was holding onto Gil’s arm, Gil used that arm to return his hold on him. Recognizing this, Break’s thoughts shifted to, ‘what is wrong with him???’

Gil didn’t understand why Break suddenly decided to hold onto him, but he felt it would only be right to return the favour under the pretence that this way Break would hold still better and let him focus on his task. Or maybe he was hurting him, and Break was too proud to admit it, but instead transferred that pain into gripping him? This particular pin was a tad more tangled than the rest and he was really fumbling with it. Especially one handed, since he dared not let go of Break with his other hand. It was comforting in a sense, to them both, to be holding each other during this task.

Feeling Gil’s hand in his hair felt unlike any sensation he’s ever witnessed. No longer caring about why he was feeling this way, Break decided to just let himself get swept away in the soothing sensation of having someone fiddle with your hair. Since his hand was gripping Gil’s arm, he focused on how the muscle moved beneath the coat and skin. How firm and sturdy Gil felt in his hold. How strong his student has grown from the small and scared child he’d met a decade ago. 

He found that oddly comforting and unconsciously began leaning forward into Gil. He noticed that Gil pressed firmer into him as well, almost leaning his chest on his shoulder. ‘What is he doing…?’ 

Only being able to use one hand made the task more difficult, so with no other option, Gil decided to get his mouth involved. To do that though, he had to really lean into Break to be able to grasp the hairpin with his teeth. They could just change positions, but… somehow that felt like more work and he was comfortable enough as it was. Plus, he was practically already there. “Lean forward more, I can’t see…”

Break’s eye widened, and while he was dumbfounded, Gil used his hand to push his head into his shoulder. He gave a surprised gasp, his hand gripping Gilbert more earnestly now. His breathing picked up at being so intimately close to Gilbert, even closer than before, which is already the closest they’ve ever been. Now he was forced to inhale the scent of Gil’s coat, and to be practically embraced by his student. What a peculiar situation…

Now having a better visual on the back of Break’s head, Gil held onto the clump of messy hair with his hand and leaned in with his face to grasp the pin by his teeth. He felt Break stiffen underneath him and smirked to himself. This must be something new for his mentor as well. He had to admit, he rather liked this arrangement, for once putting Xerxes Break in an unfamiliar territory and watching him squirm as he was now. 

With the first pin successfully out of the white hair, he leaned back. Ideally, he’d have loved for Break to see him with his prize between his teeth, but alas, he will need to compensate. He pulled back slowly, talking lowly around the pin in his mouth, with his breath brushing right up against Break’s ear. “I got it…” 

Break bit his lower lip to fight back another involuntary whimper at both the sensation and action. ‘Did he just take it out with his teeth?’ He was able to deduce that much from the way Gil spoke, and how close he felt the younger’s face to the back of his head. He tried not to show his bafflement in his voice. “That one was really stuck in there, eh?”

Gil dropped the pin onto the dresser and leaned back in to get the other ones. “Mhmm,” he hummed. “The rest should be easier to get out.”

Break squeezed Gil’s arm when he felt Gil’s hand go back to touching his hair. “It’s okay, take your time…”

And so Gil did, take all the time in the world, slowly pulling out pin by pin, leaving Break to gasp, tremble and pant in his arms. After a few particularly gorgeous sounds from the older, Gil couldn’t help his own heart rate spiking, leaving him to breathe shallowly, which Break picked up on and played off of. They did not need to speak aloud to let their bodies talk for themselves. Especially when Gil’s hand would travel in between pins, just casually massaging gently the back of Break’s head. That bit in particular made Break lose composure and gasp louder than normal and grip Gil’s arm tighter. He even tried tilting his head back in pleasure a couple of times, but Gil just pushed his head right back against him, as that hindered the progress on getting the hairpins out. 

Another moment that made Break forget what was happening was when Gil would deliberately breathe against his ear hotly and sweetly. For no other reason, just because. Just because Break’s reactions likely fueled his own internal sensations, which he wasn’t hiding as well as he thought. Break could both feel and hear it. 

Particularly when Gil would get too close and actually faintly brush his lips against Break’s ear, making them each gasp in surprise, but carry on as if nothing happened. 

Soon enough, Break returned to looking more like himself with his scrunkly looking hair and the pile of bobby pins laid on the dresser beside them. Break wasn’t quite sure what to do now that that was over. As much as he enjoyed the moment, it was rather… peculiar, in the best sense of the word.

He still did not let go of Gil. Gil tried leaning back as soon as he was done, but Break kept a firm hold on him. Break’s next words surprised him. “This doesn’t have to mean anything, right?”

They just shared the most intimate moment of their lives with each other, gasping and trembling in each others’ holds without speaking a single word of it, the arousal running high between them, and Break was still holding onto him with an unyielding grip. 

Gil leaned back in to be eye level with Break again, face to face for the first time since he started pulling out the pins. “Just helping a blind man with his hairpins. Nothing more.” He whispered sweetly. 

He leaned in closer to Break’s face so that their noses would be barely touching and their lips hovering just over one another. Break was about to tilt his head to make their lips touch when Gil whispered reassuringly. “You can let go of me now…”.

Break hesitated for a split second, but did as was told. What a silly thing he did, holding onto Gilbert like that. He promptly released his grip and looked away, hand coming to hold the edge of the dresser he was still leaned back against. 

He expected this to be that, and for Gilbert to turn around and leave. That’s why despite Gil leaning away from his face, he was surprised to feel Gil caress the back of his head one last time, twirling a strand of his hair between his fingers before finally stepping away from him completely. 

With his unspoken message delivered, Gil walked out of the room quietly. If Break wanted more, he knew where to find him. 

[yandere-romanticaa]

❝ 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐒, 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎. ❞

yandere! gilbert von obsidian x fem! reader.

Soft glimmers of the pale white stars illuminated your path as you wandered aimlessly in the large rose garden, hands pressed firmly against your back and your gaze was locked onto the floor, mind filled to the brim with many different thoughts. Things at the palace were getting out of hand and you were unsure of how to handle them, and the new visitors most certainly were not making things any easier for you. Keeping up with all the quirks of the local nobility was a daunting task but once you had accidentally been caught between the claws of Gilbert von Obsidian, only then did you realize just how messy an outsider could make your life.

❝ You can't stay here forever you know. ❞

Speak of the devil.

Turning around you were met with the man you wanted to see the least, his bright red eye peering deep into your own tired gaze. Gilbert wore his usual friendly smile, his attitude still the same as the first time you met him. He took an odd shining to you, causing him to seek you and your company out only to tease you for every little thing you did and didn't do. It became something of an unwritten rule that no one was allowed to interrupt the two of you if you were alone together, lest the perpetrator wished to suffer a great discomfort at best or a grave injury at worst.

No one ever brought up the latter however. The risk was simply too great.

And there he was in all his dark glory, Gilbert von Obsidian, the crazy man who set his sight on you and refused to give you peace.

You were so tired that your mind didn't even process the fact that Gilbert was now standing directly in front of you, his black, gloved finger lightly playing with your lower lip, his gaze totally focused on you and you alone.

The sheer intensity of his gaze made you feel like shrinking into a tiny dark hole, a stark contrast to his otherwise carefree demeanor. It was clear that Gilbert was actually trying to soothe you in his own weird way but his approach was just so unorthodox that it only caused the opposite effect.

What were you to do with him?

Sensing your distress Gilbert stopped with toying with your soft lips, only to speak once more.

❝ My bunny looks so, so tired. Should I let you rest a little, hm? ❞

Scoffing, you angrily pushed his hand away and turned your back to him. Your blood was starting to boil but you made no move to escape.

He would find you one way or another, he always did.

Gilbert was teasing you, that much was obvious. You were given specific and direct orders to avoid the Obsidian mad lad as much as possible, throw all manners out the window and just book it, if you leave a trail of dust clouds in your steed than so be it. Why, oh why, was the twisted prince so infatuated with you?

That was a question he would ask himself. He can do nothing but indulge, play the role of the bad guy and make your life as silly, albeit twisted as possible. He even toyed with the idea for full on taking you back to Obsidian with him, ah what a pleasant idea.

He might just make it a reality.

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟲 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation

I wonder when it started.

I no longer feel heartbroken when I see the dead bodies of people.

(You did it with flair.)

The place where I stepped in with the little rabbit in my arms was a cruel sight.

Welcomed by the scent of blood, which cannot be disguised by a sweet and aromatic rose,

The petals that fell to the ground were invaded by a spreading reddish-black liquid.

Standing in the center of it all is a cruel and merciless beast with a white cloak stained red,

I could feel how the little rabbit was trembling in my arms.

(... That's right. The prince you believe in is just another powerful man...)

(He can kill people with impunity like this and not be charged with a crime, just like me.)

(...But it's "dirtier" than I expected...)

The little rabbit is covering her mouth with a pale face.

I felt something like nostalgia at the sight of this.

(I remember I was like this in the beginning too.)

Gilbert: "How are you feeling, little bunny?"

Emma: "... I'm fine."

Gilbert: "Really? Well, it's not something you have to look at. It's dirty, so let's not go near it."

(The more you think of others as yourself, the bigger the reaction is.)

(...Well, I knew that, and I brought you here...)

As I secretly chuckled at the trembling little rabbit, a familiar face appeared from the shadows of the pavilion.

Clavis: "Well, well, well, Lord Gilbert. Aren't you tormenting our little rabbit too much?"

Clavis: "I never thought you'd bring her to a place like this."

Gilbert: "Ahaha, I'm sorry about that. I only brought the little rabbit here because she was looking for Chevalier."

Clavis: "Well, how did you know my brother was here?"

Gilbert: "I saw Chevalier not too long ago."

It's not a lie.

This morning, I left the little rabbit "to check a certain place," which had nothing to do with the current situation,

But when I returned to the court, Chevalier went out to the garden in the opposite direction.

Since I have every person's movements in my head, I can easily predict what will happen next…

Not wanting to miss this opportunity, I hurriedly secured the little rabbit, and here we are.

(Clavis is obviously suspicious of me. I'm sure he thinks I'm the one who put this together.)

However, it is not irrelevant.

There are many who are hostile toward Chevalier, and if you mislead them with just a few words, they will quickly take shortcuts like this.

(It's not a smart move to hire assassins and have them attack him easily, but...)

(I guess it is inevitable since the "anti-monarchy" is not professional in this field.)

I had thought that if one of the seeds sprouted and flowered, I would show it to the little rabbit someday.

In that sense, it was as good as done.

Without uttering a single word, Chevalier wipes away the blood and sheathes his sword.

For him, it's an everyday occurrence.

Gilbert: "Chevalier, the little rabbit wanted to see you."

Chevalier: ". . . . . ."

His icy blue eyes, which had lost their temperature, conveyed the fright of the little rabbit.

Emma: "... You seem to be busy, so I'll come back on a different day."

Chevalier: ". . . . . ."

Chevalier turned away and left without a word.

(Well, what will the little rabbit do after this?)

(Will you try to approach him, knowing that he has a ruthless and cruel side, or will you walk away from him?)

(Will you continue to believe in the goodness of people like I used to, or will you fall into distrust?)

I can't help but look forward to the little rabbit's choice.

Clavis: "I must apologize for showing the young lady something she shouldn't have seen. --Cyril."

Clavis beckons one of the knights who was disposing of the body.

The knight with flamboyant red hair is a former soldier from Obsidian's military training facility.

(I haven't seen you in a while, but I'm glad to see you're doing well.)

Clavis: "It's almost dinner time. Prepare a feast for Lord Gilbert."

Gilbert: "No way, are you trying to separate me from the little bunny?"

Clavis: "Oh. You're a bit too much of a distraction, or a bit too much of a presence, to comfort the young lady."

Clavis: "The young lady would be more than happy to be alone with me, wouldn't she?"

Gilbert: "I don't think so. She would be so lonely to be separated from me that she might cry."

Emma: "I won't be lonely, I'll be fine."

Gilbert: "Do you know the word "flattery"?"

Emma: "... I'm afraid that Prince Gilbert might not like it better if I say something I don't truly mean."

Gilbert: "Heh... correct. You're smart."

(While some people never learn, the little rabbit is very honest.)

Gilbert: "Oh well. I don't know what kind of mischief Clavis is up to, but I'm hungry."

(… He's a gentleman, so I'm sure he will take care of the little rabbit.)

(It's something I can't do, so I'll leave it to him here.)

Gilbert: "I'll torment your knight, so return the little rabbit as soon as possible, okay?"

Cyril: "…Goodbye, my peace."

Just before I put the little rabbit down on the ground, I gave her a malicious look in retaliation for choosing Clavis over me.

Gilbert: "Be careful not to let Clavis bully you."

Gilbert: "He's more dangerous than I am, you know?"

(In many ways.)

The little rabbit's expression stiffens, and I can't help but laugh.

Perhaps she should have taken this warning seriously.

(No, I'm serious.)

(It's probably physical labor now. I can pretty much guess that’s how Clavis comforts people.)

(Hang in there, little rabbit.)

══════════════════

Cyril: "—I don't understand Prince Gilbert."

On the way to the dining room after parting with the little rabbit, Cyril, who was leading the way, suddenly spoke.

Gilbert: "Oh, you mean what I'm thinking about right now? The next evil plan, of course."

Gilbert: "I'll be in the pit after this, so I might as well get an invitation to the soirée in exchange for it..."

Gilbert: "How am I going to kill—oh, no, I mean punish—that noblewoman who hurt the little rabbit's leg?"   //   "How shall I kill that noblewoman who hurt the little rabbit's leg—oh no, how shall I chastise her?"

Cyril: "…Please don't cause any trouble."

Gilbert: "Ahaha, you say useless things, don't you?"

Cyril: "Or rather, I don't mean that... I want to know what Prince Gilbert is up to."

(I know.)

A competent ex-soldier knows too well what the Obsidian royal family is like.

It is natural to be wary of unreadable malice.

(I have only one goal—I want the little rabbit.)

Not in the sense of the word.

(I want to defile and corrupt her pure and beautiful heart and "make her sympathize with me.")

(No, if she wants to go straight at me without empathy, that's fine.)

(I want to expose her to malice, isolate her, and then see what she chooses to do.)

I "want" in that sense, but it is not something I would say to a knight of an enemy country.

Gilbert: "I'm not going to tell a traitor anything."

Cyril: "I know..."

Gilbert: "Hmm."

(I can't wait to get my hands on Little Bunny.)

[proosh]

In a previous post you said you don't talk about your 2p prussia because their fanon divergent but I really liked how they were.

The whole cool to Gilbert hot, character foil if I remember correctly was nice to hear because that's kinda just how I view the 2p's in general instead of being complete opposites!

Just wanted to see more about your 2p prussia!

<3

Ah, thank you anon for the kind words!! In case anyone missed it, I spoke about my 2P!Prussia a while ago in this post and mentioned that I didn't really like to talk about him too much because he's so fanon-divergent, and that still holds.

I find myself disagreeing with the very fandom-popular idea of 2Ps existing as polar inversions of the "original" reps because while it certainly is an easy route I... Look, no disrespect to the artists and writers who cut their teeth on establishing the fanon, but I find myself wanting more meat to sink my teeth into. The idea of nations having multiple "representations" is an existentially fascinating conceit and something that I tend to circle in my own writing.

August exists (hypothetically, in my own internal brain-canon that won't appear in fics, lmao) as an acknowledgement and ideological counterbalance to Gilbert's existence. Not an inversion or "opposite" because they Are the same entity, one way or another, but rather a representation of another slice of national identity. Putting more under the cut so this doesn't get too long <3

He started off as a Gil with his "heat" stripped away, and became his own monster from there. The same building blocks of martial authoritarianism and disciplinary efficiency but rendered into cold aristocracy rather than the broiling momentum of the upward-ascension of the Prussian soldier-class.

This is in itself an answer to the question that I've ended up wrestling with over the years: how to reconcile the Teutonic Order with the Old Prussians while acknowledging both as foundations to the state-building project. Some other artists and writers have approached it from a different direction (making Old Prussia a separate, distinct entity that was murdered by the Teutonic Knights) which is totally valid but not necessarily an interpretation I find myself ending up at.

Gilbert exists, metanarratively, as an Outsider, an unknown, a freak of nature raised up from the peasantry to duel with his betters. He should not exist and yet he continues to persist. This is a characterisation of Prussia that is historically validated, but runs counter to the characterisation of Prussia as entrenched in old hegemonic aristocrat knight-regime. Both of these things are true at the same time, but August exists to help ease the narrative-cognitive dissonance, at least in my head.

He's also just a very funny character, in my opinion, and I take a great amount of pleasure in tormenting him in various ways. He's a wretched barely-reformed fascist piece of shit, to be clear. He's operating on brainworms just as deranged but slightly more comprehensible than Gilbert's and he also does a much better job of pretending he's a normal person who can be trusted with executive authority.

He also gets to suffer while I continue to put him in increasingly stupid outfits because that really is one of the fundamental dynamics I have with him as my OC <3

Thank you anon for the question and kind words!!

[kiss-my-freckle]

Full Episode Commentary

1x22: Founder's Day

One of the things you should know about the writing… some of these episodes end completely opposite how they start. Elena opens the episode as Katherine. Katherine ends the episode as Elena.

I feel the need to point this out while she's dressing up as Katherine because it builds and builds as the seasons move along. "Did Stefan think that he could use me to replace her?" Note how she puts this necklace on whie standing in front of an oval mirror. It's as if Stefan's desire is becoming a reality.

Damon and Stefan are at the Founder's Day event. Stefan hsa the nerve to ask Damon what he's doing there, treats him as if he doesn't belong. I love Damon's response. "Why wouldn't I be here? Bonnie deactivated the Gilbert invention, Isobel is gone and it's Founders' Day! I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl." This is what it sounds like for Damon to feel at home again, and he's being honest. He plans to steal Stefan's girl, he's just not ready. "You started this, Stefan... with that whole 'I'm insecure, leave Elena alone' speech." Damon is just as honest here. He's saying the same thing I said. Stefan should've left Isobel's words with Isobel. Stefan knew better, but he let his jealousy get the better of him. Damon is now a danger to the Stelena ship. They show Damon's rebellious nature over and over again. I feel this is the aspect of Damon's character that Katherine preyed on.... his rebellious nature. "Who needs rules?"

Damon is a rebel, a rule breaker. Tell Damon not to do something, he's gonna do it. You see this in the pilot episode.

Stefan: Not here. I won't allow it. Damon: I take that as an invitation.

You hear this again in 1x6.

Elena: And yet you let him get involved with Caroline? Stefan: Forcing Damon not to do something is much more dangerous, believe me.

Hear it again in 1x13.

Damon: My father never approved of anyone I dated, which only made me want them more. Of course. 

You even see this in season 2.

Katherine: I knew that if I begged you not to kill Elijah, that's exactly what you'd do.

So when I say that Stefan should've left Isobel's comment with Isobel, trust I mean it. Stefan knew better, but he let his jealousy get the better of him.

Stefan: History will not be repeating itself where Elena is concerned. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand?

What you get with Damon and Elena in this episode is the direct result of Stefan disrespecting Damon, in thinking he's the one who gets to make the rules.

Damon: Hey look, I get it, I get it. I'm the better, hotter, superior choice. And you're scared now that Katherine is out of the picture, that I'm gonna turn all my attention to Elena. But don't worry, Elena is not Katherine. Stefan: You're right, she's not.

This mantre works in Damon's favor. Stefan believes it works in his because Elena is a good person, so he believes she'll always choose the "good" brother. It was always Stefan for Katherine. It will always be Damon for Elena.

I love how this mantra spills from Damon's lips as Elena comes out dressed as Katherine. History started repeating itself from the moment Stefan entered Elena's life pretending to be human... just as Katherine entered their lives pretending she was human. I'm basically saying Stefan is a little late in telling Damon that history won't be repeating itself where Elena is concerned. That's not his choice to make, it never was. I love her dress. Their responses are a direct result of her being dressed like Katherine. Damon isn't happy with it. She's dressed like the woman that abandoned him. But Stefan... he's quite comfortable with his Katherine replacement. Elena's curtsy in this scene is a basic way of paying respect to the man that escorted her at the Miiss Mystic pageant. That's why she directs it at Damon.

Anna stops in to see Jeremy as he gets dressed for the event. He's part of the parade, so he's dressing up like 1864 Damon. I love how Jeremy is written between these brothers. He's having a hard time, now stuck beteween John and Anna. He understands wanting John to protect the people in the town, but also understands vampires wanting a place to call home. If not for the tomb vampires wanting revenge, Jeremy would've completely sided with Anna and saw John for what he really is. I'm not sure what he expected Anna to do… but staying in the town that killed her mother isn't gonna happen. Anna hands him a vial of her blood so he can turn into a vampire. He's changed his mind… for the moment. I honestly would've loved to see Jeremy as a vampire in season 2.

Damon: Oh, and when you do tell Elena and she needs a friend to talk to about anything, I'm here for her. Stefan: I just… I wanted to tell you before Damon dropped it on you in some typically inappropriate way.

Damon gets Stefan to reveal his jealousy. If Damon had any intention of telling Elena about John, she'd already know. Stefan makes a lot of assumptions about Delena's friendship.

The 1864 of it all. Resurrecting a character. Some fans mistake Damon's character journey. They're not redeeming him, they're resurrecting him. His redemption takes place in his human life with Elena. A resurrection is what you'd want for a character that spends 145 years being something other than himself.

Jeremy is pretty damn pissed at Elena, and I honestly don't blame him. She took away his choice to mourn Vicki properly. She also took away his choice to not have vampires in his life when she invited the Salvatores into hers. This knife cuts both ways. Stefan invited Damon into Elena's life when he chose to enter her life, then Elena invited the Salvatores into Jeremy's ife when she welcomed them into hers. Elena is having a difficult time because she's trying to be the best friend and the parent… and you can't be both. That's why Jeremy is so pissed at her. She made a parental decision for him, and kids hate their parents for a reason lol

"Why don't you have Damon erase my memory again? Then I could go back to being your in-the-dark little brother." Secrets keep people in the dark. That's why Elena needed to know they're vampires... Stefan had her dating him in the dark. Damon acts like a light in the dark for Elena.

Like Jeremy, Tyler is dressed like 1864 Damon.

Damon: I was fighting for the South. It's not exactly a time I like to reminisce about in front of my friends." Oscar: Yeah, you had the same opinion back then. Hated everything your side believed in. Hey, you wanted to desert, but feared shaming your old man.

And again, Elena is dressed like Katherine. It's best to understand going forward that the parade float is for the Miss Mystic pageant, so you'll understand why these scenes are the way they are.

Damon's signature moment is literally put on parade. Stefan was devouring Amber during the pageant. One episode of playing suicidal vamp, and everyone forgets about the girl he nearly killed in the woods.

This is Damon playing off of his moment, and you can click to view larger if you want.

This is how Elena responds in Stefan's jealousy of their friendship.

This is the whole of their "near touch" dancing. This is every bit why you get Valerie vervaining Caroline's skin in season 7. It's to make it so Stefan can't touch her. He has to understand the purpose of the near touch.

Carol: There's no touching during this part. Katherine: No touching, Mr. Salvatore. Those are the rules.

For now... he's the same with Elena that he was with Katherine.

Damon has been trying to get a clean slate with Bonnie since 1x9. The difference between this attempt and his last two attempts is the lack of benefit. He has nothing to gain in this scene, he truly wants a clean slate with her. "The device that Emily spelled could have killed me. I don't take what you did lightly, so thank you." She's withholding the truth about the device. It can still kill him. It can kill both of them.

It takes a long time for Bonnie to understand Damon.

John is setting up the vampire device in his brother's medical office. A lot of this is additional to their Augustine storyline. I don't know when they decided on Damon's 1953 storyline, but a lot of their seeds were in place before season one finished. Most of their seeds for the Augustine storyline can be found in 1x5. They also use 1953 for Stefan's "date war" with Mr. Tanner in 1x3.

Any vampire within a five-block radius of the device will be at risk of death by fire. Given the way they cut scene, it's to my understanding that the vampire leader is John's source on their revenge plot. I'm assuming he made a deal with this tomb vampire for the sake of taking out all the others. So 15 tomb vampires plus the 2 Salvatore boys. That's what John is looking to kill. Their soundtrack in this scene refers to the night Damon and Elena first met...

Somewhere in this city is a road I know Where we could make it But maybe there's no making it now Too long we've been denying Now we're both tired of trying We hit a wall and we can't get over it

Lifehouse - It Is What It Is

Damon is the only one that tells Elena the period look didn't suit her and he likes her better like this. Just Damon. He basically tells her the "Katherine" look didn't suit her and says it's a compliment of the highest order. He has no plans to repeat history… that's really what Stefan's comment boils down to. Stefan tells him that history won't be repeating itself with Elena… when Damon had his heart broken by Katherine. I'm just glad they took their time with Delena because I didn't want Elena to be a rebound for him. But I do consider her a rebound for Stefan. In the 145 years he's been a vampire, Lexi is the only woman he's been emotionally involved with.

They're both withholding their conversations with Stefan. Elena does everything she can to avoid the Salvatores fighting over her. She pulls this… back-to-back silence in 1x22 and 2x1. She doesn't tell Damon that Stefan was talking smack behind his back and she doesn't tell Stefan that Damon tried to kiss her. "History will not be repeating itself where Elena is concerned." I love the way Damon responds to Elena in this scene. "No, nothing worth repeating."

"So, I think you should stop with the flirty little comments and that eye-thing that you do." I love how Damon does the eye thing while asking her what eye thing. "Flirt with your eyes." She's talking about the flirt with his eyes at the parade. It's all Miss Mystic pageant stuff, his signature moment. Damon hates seeing Elena hurt. But honestly… his confrontation with Jeremy is something I'd expect from him. He just got done choking the hell out of Elena's biological mother for threatening her. This is where Stefan's jealousy comes in. Isobel didn't randomly guess that Damon is in love with Elena. Stefan knows they saw each other. Now he doesn't want Damon getting in Elena's relationship with Jeremy. "What are you doing? Elena's relationship with her brother is none of your business. So stay out of it!" Idiotic for Stefan to redirect Damon when he dug into Elena's adoption before he even met her… which was none of his business. He then put a wedge between her and Jenna when he revealed Elena's adoption to her.

Stefan's jealousy is hilarious. It's not like Damon was gonna knock Jeremy unconscious while there's a party going on outside. "What are you doing? Elena's relationship with her brother is none of your business. So stay out of it!" I wonder if Stefan would say the same of Damon attacking Isobel in the previous episode. "Get over yourself. We both know you're not doing this for the right reasons." Damon notes Stefan's jealousy lol... and you can tell Stefan is jealous just by the look in his eyes.

"Well, see Damon, it's only real when it comes from your desire to do the right thing for nothing in return. And I know that it is an entirely foreign concept to you. I completely understand that you wouldn't get it." Says the brother that entered Elena's life for himself because he knew what he'd get out of a relationship with her. "I have to know her." It's not like Stefan entered Elena's life simply to help her move on from the death of her parents. According to Stefan, Stelena isn't real because it didn't come from his desire to do the right thing for nothing in return. Here, have this parallel...

Liz: You've gone behind my back? Lockwood: Yeah... because we knew this is exactly how you'd react.

Stefan: Why? Because I kept it a secret from you? Come on, Elena. Look, given the way you're reacting right now, can you really blame me for doing that?

John and Mayor Lockwood are using the people in their town as bait to kill the tomb vampires. Liz is pissed and feels them both insane, but Mayor Lockwood is completely on board with the plan. John tells him to leave because plan or not, Mayor Lockwood wouldn't let him knock out Liz the way he does. He handcuffs her as far away from her belt as possible so she can't reach her cuff key.

Anna approaches Damon and informs him about the attack the tomb vampires have planned on the founding families. Because he believes the device has been deactivated by Bonnie, he warns Alaric and tells him to get some stakes ready. "Saving your life." It's adorable the way he holds Eleana's hand against his chest. He does this a lot. I love Caroline's desire to fix every fight. She's currently trying to patch things up beteeen Tyler and Matt.

Mayor Lockwood hits the Grill to tell Tyler to head home. Because they're using the townspeople as bait, he doesn't want him around when they decide to strike. He talks Matt and Caroline into going with Tyler. Anna meets up with Jeremy and takes him into the Grill bathroom. They start the fireworks, which is the planned time of the attack for John's inside source. He had his source plan the attack at the same time they start the fireworks so that he knows when to turn on the Gilbert device. The fireworks display is also the best time to do it because everyone will be too busy watching them to pay mind to the vampires dropping like flies. Damon walks in, still having no idea that the device actually works. He believes John put everyone in danger. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"John turns on the device… and they all fall down.

This scene is insane. If not for Alaric, both the Salvatore brothers would be dead. They have Jeremy dating Bonnie in season 2 when she's responsible for Anna's death. Like I said before, this device works like Bonnie's head trick, but on a much larger scale. It covers a 5 block radius, making the blood vessels in their brains go pop. That's why I think it's insanely brilliant how the writers had them doing fireworks whie using the device. Because vampires heal quickly, it can be done over and over again. Pop, pop, pop. They're all dropping because it's looping without stopping. It's because it also works on werewolves that you see Bonnie's head trick continue into season 2. They even have Elijah's witches use it. And it makes sense for the device to affect werewolves because it basically acts as a painful dog whistle. Tyler ends up getting into an accident because it's that painful. And as the medics work on him, his eyes reveal that he's some kind of supernautral. Very pretty. Because Caroline was in the car with him, she ends up in the hospital after her collapse.

I would tell you about this save Alaric pulls with Stefan, but I'm saving it for my season one gif post. He helps Elena move Stefan out of the way so that he doesn't get taken by one of their deputies. The device affected Mayor Lockwood just as it did Tyler, so the deputies inject him with vervain and put him with the tomb vampires. Anna is still in the bathroom screaming in Jeremy's arms when she gets taken. John packs up the device and leaves.

I'm not sure how many tomb vampires are in the basement, but my last count was at 16. I see 7 tomb vampires in their aerial view, along with Damon and Mayor Lockwood. Anna grabs at John's ankle. He turns around and realizes it's her. She begs him to spare her life, but he doesn't. Damon is truly trying to save her… you can hear it in his breath. He then lets out a grunt when he sees the stake go. It's insanely painful for him to watch. Some of the vampires starts to sizzle in the fire… Damon feels the need to turn his head away from them. From my count, that's 9 tomb vampires left.

Stefan describes how it feels to have the blood vessels in his brains pop. "It was like needles were piercing my skull and it just stopped." When Alaric tells Stefan and Elena where they took the tomb vampires, Stefan pieces it together. John used his brother's medical practice. Because it's a Gilbert property, Stefan realizes they were attacked by the Gilbert device. Elena thinks Bonnie deactived the device, but Stefan corrects her.

Stefan: We asked Bonnie to deactivate a device that could protect people against vampires. Elena: So we could protect you. Stefan: And Damon. Vampires.

Stefan doesn't view vampires as people. This is the second comment that I know of where he differentiates people and vampires. Damon is human-vampire specific because he sees vampires as people.

Carol walks into the sheriff's office to find Liz handcuffed. She gets the cuffs off Liz and tells her that her husband was taken, explains that he isn't a vampire. Damon catches sight of the mayor. "I'm a vampire. What's your excuse?" lmfao… he wants to know why the mayor is in the basement with him and the tomb vampires. "No, really. The vervain didn't affect you, you're not a vampire, what the hell are you?" Because the device affected Mayor Lockwood, but the vervain didn't, Damon knows they're some kind of supernatural. His interest gets piqued in season 2 because Mason shows up. If not for Mason, Damon wouldn't bother because he has no beef with Tyler. One of the tomb vampires lives long enough to kill the mayor. While Damon gets off on watching Mayor Lockwood die, John gets off on killing Anna. This is their hate written on opposite sides.

They cut scene to Tyler's werewolf eyes and Caroline's collapse. Stefan catches up to the building where the tomb vampires are burning. John is standing there, watching and smiling. Damon struggles to get up because the vervain is that powerful. Had he died in that fire, I have no doubt Stefan would've killed John. "Go ahead, you won't make it out. It'll save me the trouble of killing you myself." At least he warns Stefan that he plans to kill him. Elena tries to help Stefan save Damon, but John stops her. I love how Elena confronts him about his paternity. He confirms he's her father in his response. She then takes off to help Stefan save Damon.

Bonnie tries to stop Stefan from going in to save Damon. I love this scene. She realizes that her Grams would've died either way because Damon was in the tomb. She has to go through Stefan to kill Damon. It's because Bonnie knows she has to go through Stefan to kill Damon… that she tries to kill Damon while Stefan is busy helping vampire Caroline. Damon knows that Elena is the only reason he's alive. Bonnie wouldn't have bothered otherwise. She… wanted him dead, it's written all over her face. Stefan and Elena catch up, talk about how the fire was covered up for the sake of hiding the death of vampires.

Elena: You care about him, so do I. But I love you, Stefan. And I know that you are worried about that. Stefan: I just… you know, I know my brother. Elena: But I love you, Stefan. Stefan: I know the trouble he can cause. Elena: I love you Stefan. You! Elena: You have nothing to worry about, okay?

lol… I love the fact that Damon doesn't have to start trouble. She falls for him on her birthday. This is the scene where Elena gives Stefan his "You" like Damon's in 4x7. She goes to the school to pick up her stuff from the Founder's Day event.

Jeremy puts the vial of Anna's blood in his desk drawer. He turns to see Damon standing in his doorway. Damon's only issue with their previous scene is his lack of consideration to Jeremy's feelings. He only cared about Elena's. He tells him that Anna is dead, that he was forced to witness it and tried to help her. Damon completely removes Elena from the equation. It's just him and Jeremy. He so much as offers to compel Jeremy without permission from Elena. "Look, I know you think you took it away, but it's still there. Even if I can't remember why." This is the truth of Elena's compulsion in season 6. Damon apologizes to Jeremy for his role in Vicki's death, and in doing so, basically apologizes for his prior actions at the Founder's Day event. But Anna… her death changed Damon.

I feel this scene is extremely important to 2x1. Damon tells Jeremy that he went without his emotions for a very long time, and life was a lot easier. In admitting this, is also admitting his emotions are currently on. If not for this scene, I believe Jeremy would've killed Damon in 2x2… and would've succeeded because of the vervain. Elena has no idea about this scene, and I feel that's why they have a difference of opinion in season 2. She tries to stop Jeremy from hanging out with Damon. When 2x1 comes around and Damon snaps Jeremy's neck, he makes a comment that directs Jeremy back to this moment. A moment specific in the fact that it's about Jeremy's emotions AND Damon's emotions. Jeremy basically realizes that Damon was in so much pain that he snapped his neck. You then get the dual dialogue.

Jeremy: I did it for a… I did it for a very long time, and life was a lot easier. Elena: He doesn't want to feel, he wants to be hated. It's just easier that way.

I like this scene of Tyler and Matt. Caroline was trying to patch things up between them. Girl had to collapse and get sent to the hospital to do that. Like Damon snapping Jeremy's neck ending Jeremy's feud with Elena. Liz explains that there was some internal bleeding, and they're taking Caroline into surgery. Liz tells Tyler to call his mom because Mayor Lockwood was killed. Damon knew that Jeremy was considering vampirism based on his line of questioning. He's in his bathroom, drinking Anna's blood. He then takes the rest of the pills from Elena's car accident with their parents. I can't stop laughing at Bonnie's comment to Stefan. "Even if I have to take you with him."

This is my favorite scene cut in season one…

I love this soundtrack, Bloodstream by Stateless. The lyrics become literal with Elena's transition to vampire. Like I said, the episode ends complete opposite the start. Elena opens the episode as Katherine. Katherine ends the episode as Elena. She's carrying the period dress, the "Katherine" dress… and she is Katherine. Damon takes her dress and her purse and sets them down for her. "I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not in me." Damon is being honest here. He doesn't like taking credit for good deeds, doesn't like playing hero, he'll so much as do bad things so that Stefan doesn't have to…. because he feels Stefan is the hero. That's why he says it's reserved for Stefan. "Because she did it for you. Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving. And I wanted to thank you for that." Damon is referring to 1x8, but he has no idea. Stefan makes a comment about it in 1x9. "I didn't kill my brother, as much as he deserved it. He has you to thank you for that." That's why Damon thanks "Elena" in this scene. He kisses her on the cheek as a thank you. Because it's really Katherine and she accepts the kiss, he kisses her on the lips. She's referring to this kiss when she tells Damon to kiss her in Masquerade. She wants Elena to feel it. Jenna opens the door and catches them kissing. She assumes Katherine is Elena because she has no idea Elena is a doppelganger. She tells her to get inside, then asks what she's doing. Katherine tells her she doesn't wanna talk about it. Jeremy finishes the bottle of pills and lays in his bed. Katherine cuts off John's fingers, then stabs him in the gut…

I'm pretty sure she did this because John wasn't supposed to add Damon and Stefan to the list, and she's pissed that he did. Elena is on the phone with Stefan when she gets home. She has no idea that John ws just stabbed in her kitchen, or that Jeremy overdosed on pills with blood in his system. He's choosing to become a vampire that can "turn it off" rather than ending his life like Damon tried to do when he was in transition.

[viatagrinner]

Gilbert von Obsidian. Chapter 6. His Story.

I want to possess Miss Bunny.

My heart no longer aches when I see dead people.

(You did your best.)

The place where I stepped, carrying Miss Bunny, was a cruel sight.

I was greeted by the smell of blood, which could not be fooled by the sweet and fragrant scent, the petals falling to the ground, pouring out a spreading reddish-black liquid.

In the center stood a cruel and merciless beast in a white cloak with red spots, and I could feel Miss Bunny trembling in my arms.

(This is true. Even the prince you believe in is, after all, a powerful man...)

(This is the same as me, who can kill such people without being accused of a crime.)

(Although this is "dirtier" than expected.)

Miss Bunny is holding his mouth with a pale face.

I felt a sense of nostalgia at the sight of her.

(I used to be like this when I first started.)

Gilbert: Miss Bunny, is everything okay?

MC: ....I'm.... okay....Oh...

Gilbert: Really? Well, there's no reason to force yourself to look. It's messy, so let's not go near it.

(The more one can think of others as oneself, the greater the backlash.)

(Well, I brought a companion here, knowing that...)

While I was secretly giggling at the trembling Miss Bunny, a familiar face emerged from the shadows of the pavilion.

Clavis: Well, well, well, Prince Gilbert. Aren't you torturing our Miss Bunny too much?

Clavis: I didn't expect you to bring her to a place like this.

Gilbert: Haha, this is so unexpected. I only brought her here because Miss Bunny said she was looking for Chevalier.

Clavis: Um, how did you know my brother was here?

Gilbert: Because I saw Chevalier the other day.

I'm not lying.

I left Miss Bunny this morning to "check a certain place," which has nothing to do with the present situation, but when I returned to court, Chevalier had gone out into the garden in the opposite direction.

I have every person's movements in my head. I can easily imagine what is going to happen next...

Not wanting to miss such an opportunity, I hurriedly picked up Miss Bunny, and here we are.

(Clavis is obviously suspicious of me. I'm sure he thinks I'm the one who put this whole thing together.)

This does not mean, however, that he is deluded.

There are many people who harbor a grudge against Chevalier, and it is worth it to mislead them even a little, and they will immediately take such shortsighted action.

(That's not a very clever way to hire an assassin to attack him easily. ......)

("Anti-Monarchy" groups are not professionals in this field, and it is not an option.)

I thought that if one of the seeds I planted sprouted and bloomed, I would show it to Miss Bunny someday. In that sense, it was as good as "planted".

Without saying a word, Chevalier wipes away the blood and puts his sword in its scabbard.

This is everyday life for him.

Gilbert: Chevalier, the rabbit wanted to get to you.

Chevalier: ..........

There is fear reflected in Miss Bunny's clear eyes.

MC: Er... You seem to be busy, so I'll change the date.

Chevalier: .........

Chevalier turned away without saying anything.

(Well, I wonder what Miss Bunny will do after that).

(Will you try to approach him, realizing he has a ruthless and cold side, or will you turn away from him?)

(...Will you continue to believe in the goodness of people as you used to, or will you fall into disbelief?)

I can't wait to see what Miss Bunny chooses to do.

Clavis: I owe you an apology for showing the young lady something you shouldn't, ...Cyril.

Clavis summons one of the knights disposing of the corpses.

The knight with flamboyant red hair is a former soldier from Obsidian's military training facility.

(It's been a while since I've seen him, but he seems to be feeling fine.)

Clavis: It's almost dinnertime. Prepare a feast for Lord Gilbert.

Gilbert: No way, are you going to separate me and Miss Bunny?

Clavis: Oh. You're not exactly conducive to comforting a broken-hearted young lady. ....No, you're too much.

Clavis: The young lady would be more than happy to be alone with me, wouldn't she?

Gilbert: That's not true. You'd be so sad to be separated from me, you'd cry.

MC: I'm not alone, so it's okay.

Gilbert: Do you know the word "flattery"?

MC: I think Prince Gilbert would hate me if I said something I didn't mean.

Gilbert: Hmm...you're right. You are clever.

(Some people never learn, but Miss Bunny is a good, honest person.)

Gilbert: Okay. I don't know what mean Clavis is up to, but I'm hungry.

(....He's a gentleman, I'm sure he'll take good care of Miss Bunny.)

(It's not something I could do, so I'll just leave you to him here.)

Gilbert: I'm going to torment your knight and blind him, so get the little hare back as soon as possible, okay?

Cyril: ....Goodbye, my peace of mind.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Before I put Miss Bunny down, I vented my malice at him for choosing Clavis over me.

Gilbert: Be careful that Clavis doesn't intimidate you.

Gilbert: He's more dangerous than me, isn't he?

(In many ways.)

The expression on Miss Bunny's face tensed, and I could barely contain a smile.

Perhaps she should have taken that warning seriously.

(No, I said it seriously.)

(It's probably physical labor now. I can almost guess how comforting Clavis is.)

(Do your best, Miss Bunny.)

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Cyril: ...I don't understand Prince Gilbert.

On the way to the dining room, after saying goodbye to Miss Bunny and the others, Cyril, who was walking ahead, spoke.

Gilbert: Oh, you mean what I'm thinking about right now? Of course, I'm thinking about the next bad thing.

Gilbert: I'll be in the pit after this, so I might as well get an invitation to the evening in exchange for it...

Gilbert: How about ...killing the noblewoman who hurt Miss Bunny's leg?

Cyril: ...Don't give us any problems.

Gilbert: Ha-ha, you're not in your place, are you?

Cyril: Or rather, not... we want to know what Prince Gilbert is up to.

(I get it.)

The capable ex-military man knows all too well what members of the Obsidian royal family are like.

It is natural to be wary of unreadable malice.

(There's only one thing I desire. ...I desire Miss Bunny.)

Not literally.

(To defile her pure and chaste heart, "I want you to sympathize with me.")

(However, if you want to meet face-to-face without sympathy, that's fine, too.)

(I want to isolate her by subjecting her to bad intentions, and then see what choice she makes).

I "desire" in that sense, but it's not something I would say to a knight of an enemy country.

Gilbert: I won't tell the traitor anything.

Cyril: ...Right.

Gilbert: Hmmm...

(I can't wait to possess my hands on Miss Bunny.)

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Gilbert's Masterlist

[runningdownthatroad]

I can't even...

"Why did Depp, who had already lost a similar case in Britain, insist on going back to court? A public trial, during which allegations of physical, sexual, emotional and substance abuse against him were sure to be repeated, couldn’t be counted on to restore his reputation. Heard, his ex-wife, was counting on the opposite: that the world would hear, in detail, about the physical torments that led her to describe herself, in the Washington Post op-ed that led to the suit, as “a public figure representing domestic abuse.”

Even before the verdict came in, Depp had already won. What had looked to many like a clear-cut case of domestic violence had devolved into a “both sides” melodrama. The fact that Heard’s partial victory, which involved not Depp’s words but those spoken in 2020 by Adam Waldman, his lawyer at the time, can be spun in that direction shows how such ambiguity served Depp all along. As one commenter on The New York Times site put it, “Every relationship has its troubles.” Life is complicated. Maybe they were both abusive. Who really knows what happened? The convention of courtroom journalism is to make a scruple of indeterminacy. And so we found ourselves in the familiar land of he said/she said.

We should know by now that the symmetry implied by that phrase is an ideological fiction, that women who are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault have a much harder time being listened to than their assailants. I don’t mean that women always tell the truth, that men are always guilty as charged, or that due process isn’t the bedrock of justice. But Depp-Heard wasn’t a criminal trial; it was a civil action intended to measure the reputational harm each one claimed the other had done. Which means that it rested less on facts than on sympathies.

In that regard, Depp possessed distinct advantages. He isn’t a better actor than Heard, but her conduct on the stand was more harshly criticized in no small part because he’s a more familiar performer, a bigger star who has dwelled for much longer in the glow of public approbation. He brought with him into the courtroom the well-known characters he has played, a virtual entourage of lovable rogues, misunderstood artists and gonzo rebels. He’s Edward Scissorhands, Jack Sparrow, Hunter S. Thompson, Gilbert Grape.

We’ve seen him mischievous and mercurial, but never truly menacing. He’s someone we’ve watched grow up, from juvenile heartthrob on “21 Jump Street” to crusty old salt in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise. His offscreen peccadilloes (the drinking, the drugs, the “Winona Forever” tattoo) have been part of the pop-cultural background noise for much of that time, classified along with the scandals and shenanigans that have been a Hollywood sideshow since the silent era.

In his testimony, Depp copped to some bad stuff, but this too was a play for sympathy, of a piece with the charm and courtliness he was at pains to display. That he came off as a guy unable to control his temper or his appetites was seen, by many of the most vocal social media users, to enhance his credibility, while Heard’s every tear or gesture was taken to undermine hers. The audience was primed to accept him as flawed, vulnerable, human, and to view her as monstrous.

Because he’s a man. Celebrity and masculinity confer mutually reinforcing advantages. Famous men — athletes, actors, musicians, politicians — get to be that way partly because they represent what other men aspire to be. Defending their prerogatives is a way of protecting, and asserting, our own. We want them to be bad boys, to break the rules and get away with it. Their seigneurial right to sexual gratification is something the rest of us might resent, envy or disapprove of, but we rarely challenge it. These guys are cool. They do what they want, including to women. Anyone who objects is guilty of wokeness, or gender treason, or actual malice.

Of course there are exceptions. In the #MeToo era there are men who have gone to jail, lost their jobs or suffered disgrace because of the way they’ve treated women. The fall of certain prominent men — Harvey Weinstein, Leslie Moonves, Matt Lauer — was often welcomed as a sign that a status quo that sheltered, enabled and celebrated predators, rapists and harassers was at last changing.

A few years later, it seems more likely that they were sacrificed not to end that system of entitlement but rather to preserve it. Almost as soon as the supposed reckoning began there were complaints that it had gone too far, that nuances were being neglected and too-harsh punishments meted out.

This backlash has been folded into a larger discourse about “cancel culture,” which is often less about actions than words. “Cancellation” is now synonymous with any criticism that invokes racial insensitivity, sexual misbehavior or controversial opinions. Creeps are treated as martyrs, and every loudmouth is a free-speech warrior. Famous men with lucrative sinecures on cable news, streaming platforms and legacy print publications can proclaim themselves victims.

Which is just what Depp did. And while he accused Heard of doing terrible things to him in the course of their relationship and breakup, the lawsuit wasn’t about those things. It was about words published under her name, none of which were “Johnny Depp.” In a sentence the jury found false and malicious, after describing herself as “representing domestic abuse” Heard wrote that she “felt the full force of our culture’s wrath for women who speak out.” This time she surely has.

Misogyny isn’t the subtext of American political rage and social dysfunction; all too often, it’s the plain text. The links between domestic violence and mass shootings are chilling and well documented, though rarely cited in arguments about policy and prevention. The mobs of social media mobilize against women with special frequency and ferocity, often using the language of righteous grievance. Gamergate, a campaign of harassment directed at women who wrote about video game culture, pretended to be about “ethics in journalism.” The alt-right in the months before the 2016 election and its post-Trump progeny specialize in targeted misogyny. The TikTok hordes that went after Amber Heard over the past few months took a page from that book.

Depp’s victory is also theirs. The rage of men whose grievances are inchoate and inexhaustible found expression in a 58-year-old movie star’s humiliation of his 36-year-old former wife. I have to wonder: Are men OK? That’s a sincere question. Does the blend of self-pity, vanity, petulance and bombast that Depp displayed on the stand represent how we want to see ourselves or our sons? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is yes.

Not all men, though. Right? Now that the trial is over, we’ll find new things to be ambiguous about, new venues where indeterminacy can serve as an alibi for the same old cruelty, and for its newer iterations. Johnny Depp is being embraced as a hero in some quarters, but his victory extends even to those who will allow themselves to feel troubled by the outcome of the trial and then move on. Some of us may wince a little when we watch “Pirates of the Caribbean” or “Donnie Brasco,” but we’ll probably still watch. They’re pretty good movies, and it’s not as if they can be expunged from the collective memory. That hasn’t happened to Louis C.K., or Woody Allen, or Michael Jackson, or Mel Gibson, or even Bill Cosby. Some of them have gone to court, some have faced public censure and disgrace, but they all remain woven into the fabric of the culture, and their behavior is too. We may not entirely forget, but we mostly forgive.

Let’s at least be clear about what that means. It means that we value the comfort and self-regard of men, especially famous ones, more than we value the safety and dignity of women, even famous ones."

(x)

This was written by a man. Which honestly kills me because all it does is prove that misandry is alive and well when it comes to the subject of domestic abuse. Just like that age old view of the patriarchy unable to see women as equals, women as anything other than damsels in distress, fragile little creatures that must be protected at all costs, here we have proof that society is still unable to accept the fact that a woman can abuse a man. And because said abuser is a woman, then society demands that we absolutely believe everything they've claimed despite evidence that was entered into a court of law that was reviewed by legal experts and jurors alike proving the contrary. It demands that not only are we to circle her wagons and defend her due to her anatomy but also turn a blind eye to her abuses of not only a man but other human beings that it has been documented by law enforcement and in a court of law that she actually did.

I am just...astonished. This is the NY Times. They approved this piece. And rather than talk to actual abuse experts and psychological experts, even law enforcement, they choose to continue to be part of the problem.

Let me say this, had I heard JD making the statements on the audio recordings that AH did instead, I absolutely would be just as passionate in supporting her. Because I support ALL survivors, regardless of their gender.

And because of my experience in this arena, because I am a survivor, I can tell you that within seconds of hearing AH speaking that I knew right then, other evidence sight unseen, who was really abusing who. It's a special club that not one of us ever wants to be a part of.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, so. First of all, it’s amusing that John Oliver is the opener in this episode, less than half a year after Andy Zaltzman had the middle spot in his episode. John wasn’t up against more famous comedians than Andy was (if anything, the opposite – Andy went on after Rhod Gilbert and before Greg Proops, while John’s episode was headlined by Glenn Wool), so that shows Andy was just ahead of John in the hierarchy, at one point. And of Rhod Gilbert, apparently. It didn’t last, but you’ll always have 2003, Andy.

Next order of business: he does three stories in this set, the first of which I thought was one of the less strong bits from his 2008 stand-up DVD, but it may have been one of his strongest as of 2004. He also told it a little better in 2008. Next up, we have a story that I’ve been thinking about lately, as evidenced by these posts I wrote a couple of weeks ago because Isy Suttie stole his fucking story, and no one clocked it, they all just went on with the episode like it was fine, Alan Davies even used it for an episode title in a way that ensured it made the edit, and at this point it’s not even about the specifics of the incident for me, it’s about the fact that no one else seems to have noticed! And you’re not allowed to do that! I just need someone else to point out that you’re not allowed to do that! Someone is breaking the rules in an easily provable way, and no one has said anything about it!

In getting very agitated about this situation across those two posts, I went over a few issues with it. Discrepancies depending on who’s telling it and when. So let’s sort this the fuck out. Here is the story that John Oliver told to the live audience in New York City in February 2010, when he was being filmed for his American TV show:

The greatest thing I have seen in New York happened on the subway. I was standing in the middle of the subway, in the middle of the carriage, you know, right where the electronic doors come together. And that bleeping sound started, you know, indicating to people that the doors are about to shut, and that they should therefore run faster if they want to catch this train. And this one businessman came flying down the stairs. He was moving so fast that he actually had to bang against a column to change direction in time. As he ran towards me, the doors started slowly coming together, it’s like the whole world went into slow motion. Our eyes met. And I could see him thinking – he was carrying, like, a briefcase in one hand, and a suitcase in the other. And I could see him thinking: “Okay, well I can’t do what I’d normally do, which is stick out my hand, and stop these doors, as I’ve got these bags. And yet, I still seem to be moving, at pace, towards the side of this train. What to do? Think, Kenny, think. Brainstorm, you’re good at this in the office, there’s no right answer here. Just some blue sky creative thinking is what’s needed here.” And he did something which only he will ever truly understand. Because what that was is that he just stuck out his head, and the doors closed on his neck. Now, he wasn’t hurt. Because the system is, it’s supposed to go slowly the first time, and if it meets any resistance, it’s supposed to release, and then hammer back a second time. But, this had clearly happened one too many times to this driver, because he just left him there. This man was left with his head in the train, and his body and bags flapping around outside on the platform. You have never seen anyone de-age so fast in your life. He was clearly a successful man, yet in that moment, he just looked like a naughty boy, with his head stuck between some railings, waiting for a fireman to cut him loose. And yet, he still had the inherent heroic self-confidence from who knows where to, when someone tutted at him on the train, he looked up, and went, “What?”

What do you mean, “What?” Why don’t you hazard a guess? Your head is stuck in the doors. You are wearing this entire train as a makeshift hat. You cannot carry this look off. And then, the static sound started coming over the loudspeaker. You know the driver is about to speak to the rest of the train. And this driver was mid-laugh. He was on the phone to a friend of his upstairs, basically saying, “You have got to come and take a look at this. This is the best five minutes you will ever take out of your day.” And then, they finished their conversation, and the static sound was still there, and it became clear he was going to speak to all of us on the train. And I have never felt such a sense of excited community with strangers as we experienced together. All looking at each other, saying, “What’s he going to say? What’s he going to say? This could be incredible.” And he cleared his throat, the driver, and I promise you this is true, he said this. He said: [clears throat] “Well well well, looks like we’ve just caught us a douchebag!” Well played. Well played, driver. Well played.

And here is the story John Oliver told to a live audience at the London Comedy Store, while being recorded for a BBC Radio Four episode that aired in January 2004:

Comedians are, perhaps, the worst, for exaggeration, of anyone. You know, it’s kind of professional lying. And the biggest lie I think you’ll ever get told, as an audience, by a comedian, is when someone kind of swaggers to the front of the stage, and says, “Oh, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the gig.” That is never true. The only thing that ever happens on the way to a gig is overwhelming loneliness and a creeping sense of depression. But the fact is that once, an incredible thing happened to me as I was on my way to work, and I wanted to tell you about it tonight. I was standing in the middle of a tube train, opposite where those electronic doors come together. And that bleeping sound started, indicating to people that the doors were about to shut, and that therefore, they should run faster if they want to catch this particular train. And this one businessman came flying down the side of the stairs. He was moving so fast, he actually had to bang against a wall to change direction in time. And, as he came towards me, the doors started coming together, and our eyes met, and it was like the whole world went into slow motion. He had a briefcase in one hand and a huge suitcase in the other, and I could see him thinking, “Well, I can’t do what I’d normally do, which is stick out my hand and stop these doors, as I’ve got these bags. And yet, I still seem to be moving, at pace, towards the side of this train. What to do? What to do? So, he did something which only he will ever truly understand. And what that was was that he just stuck out his head, and the doors closed on his neck. Now, he wasn’t hurt. It was one of those situations where it’s supposed to go slowly the first time, and if it meets any resistance, it’s supposed to release, and then hammer back a second time. But, this had clearly happened one too many times to this driver, because he just left him there! So this man was left with his head in the train, and his body and bags flapping around outside on the platform, like some kind of frustrated Shakin' Stevens. You’ve never seen anyone de-age so fast in your life. This was clearly a successful man, he had the trappings of success. He had a purpose, a reason to be alive, somewhere to go in life. Yet in that moment, he just looked like a naughty child, with his head wedged between some railings, waiting for the fire engine to turn up. Yet he still had the inherent self-confidence that comes from who knows what? His job, his background, his politics, who knows? He still had the total confidence to, when someone tutted at him in the train, he looked up and went, “What?” What do you mean, “What?” Your head is stuck in the doors! Why don’t you hazard a guess? You’re wearing this entire train as a makeshift hat! You can’t carry this look off!

And here is the story Isy Suttie told to the live audience at the Battersea Arts Centre in London, while being filmed for the British TV show Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled, recorded in late 2022 and airing in March 2023, :

Isy Suttie: I was on a tube once, and a guy ran onto the tube. And as the doors were closing, he decided to stop them from closing with his head, so they closed on his face like that, and then he just looked…

Seann Walsh: Like Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

Isy Suttie: Yes! And then the driver came over the Tannoy and went, “Well well well…”

Stephen Mangan: He must have been, This is it, I’ve been waiting my whole…

Isy Suttie: You could hear the glee in his voice! He said, “Well well well, we seem to have caught ourselves a twat.” And he, he couldn’t move! He couldn’t move!

Right, okay. A few discrepancies there. I think we’ve ruled out the possibility that it happened in New York. Before hearing this radio thing, I’d thought I remembered reading that he was telling this story in England before he ever moved to America, but I wasn’t 100% sure of that. I now have heard it confirmed that the story was born at least 2.5 years before he left London. So it could still have happened if he was visiting New York before then, but not likely. You’d think he’d have said so, to the British audience and on the radio, if it had happened in New York. That would be an excitingly exotic bit of texture. This makes it a bit weird that, when he told it on TV, he specifically described it as “The greatest thing I have seen in New York.” I mean, it’s fine. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with changing details in a stand-up story or even making one up altogether. It just seems like an unnecessary lie to tell. Kind of funny, though, that the greatest thing John Oliver saw in New York did not happen in New York. So it probably did happen in London, meaning it’s possible that Isy Suttie was actually there.

The other major discrepancy is that John Oliver claimed the driver called the businessman a “douchebag”, while Isy Suttie said the word was “twat”. Isy also referenced this story on her podcast once, and that time, she also claimed the driver said “twat”. If it happened in London, then presumably the driver really did say “twat”, and John changed it for the American audience. Which is, also, funny. That John Oliver knew the American audience wouldn’t understand the word “twat”, and wanted to change it to the most American insult he could think of, and came up with “douchebag”.

When Isy referenced this story on her podcast, she didn’t specify where it happened, or even, technically, whether it happened. She said that someone she used to know (didn’t say John’s name, either) used to have a stand-up bit about [and then told this whole story, with the word “twat” instead of douchebag, not specifying when or where it happened]. So that technically leaves open the possibility that it never happened, that maybe John and Isy invented this together. But I think it rules out the possibility that she was, in fact, on that train with him. Because if that were the case, then he radio story would have been “This thing happened to me”, not, “Someone had a stand-up bit about this”.

The fact that the story was being told as early as January 2004 means the event, if it did in fact happen, happened in 2003 or earlier. And 2003 or the couple of years that preceded it takes us right into when he knew Isy Suttie, in a way that makes it so much weirder for her to steal his story. It means she could well have heard this story as just a thing that happened, before it was a stand-up bit. But then it very much became a stand-up bit, a staple of his stand-up for nearly a decade, and therefore, not fair game as part of taking a story that happened to someone you know and pretending it happened to you on a panel show. Isy, it’s been twenty years. Why did you do this?

The only okay option is it never happened, and John Oliver and Isy Suttie sat around together in 2002 inventing businessmen who got their heads stuck in trains. Joint ownership of the joke. Doesn’t seem likely, but I do like the idea.

It’s funny that on that radio show, the story was introduced with the idea that comedy is “professional lying”, you can’t assume anything they’re telling you is true, especially not if it’s a story of what happened to them on the way to a gig. And then he proceeds to claim that the following story is of what happened to him on the way to a gig. And that story turns out to be the centre of a confusing web of lies that spans twenty years.

I mean, this is some Kitson-style shit. Like in an early episode of Trifle, he told us that he’d planned to do a whole thing where he lied about where he was recording and used sound effects to make it seem like he was in different places, but he’d decided he shouldn’t do that. Then he told us, “This whole show is a ruse.” Then several weeks later he acted out a thing with Isy Suttie where he explained to her that he told us from the beginning it wasn’t real. Technically, John Oliver told us this one wasn’t real, he said stories from the commute to a gig aren’t real and then he said this story is from the commute to a gig. Okay, new idea: John Oliver and Isy Suttie came up with that back in 2002, to invent a story and then tell it in different ways in different places and different years and ascribe it to different people, and tell everyone from the very beginning that it was all a lie but they’ll still think it’s real. And it’s all some sort of meta commentary on what is and isn’t real in stand-up stories.

So, I have a new question for these people. If I could ask John Oliver one question, it would still be: “What the fuck was the thought process, and exact chain of events, leading to you smashing up a cow on stage at the Gilded Balloon at 2:30 AM on August 26, 2003?” But if I had one more, it would be: “So what happened with the train guy? In what way was Isy Suttie involved, during or after the fact? Was she there? Did you tell it to her later and you two embellished any details together? Where did happen? Did it even happen at all? Sorry that all my questions involve shit from twenty years ago, I would say I know it’s not fair to expect you to remember random shit that happened in 2003, but clearly someone remembers, and her name is Isy Suttie. And she’s getting away with breaking rules because apparently no one else remembers and catches her out!”

It’s fine. Sometimes I like to dig up mysteries from twenty years ago and ascribe far more importance to them than they actually merit, and then put a wildly disproportionate amount of effort into trying to work them out. It’s just something I like to do, because my life is going very well at the moment.

Obviously, if I could ask John Oliver one question, it would actually be: “When, and exactly how, did you and Andy Zaltzman figure out that your comedic styles and chemistry fit perfectly with each other, and what was the process in deciding to turn that into a double act?” I wrote that sentence while thinking I’d briefly take myself out of the comically disproportionate focus on a twenty-year-old mystery, and say my sincere answer to what’s the thing I’d most like to know about one of my favourite comedians. Then I realized that question is also about stuff from twenty years ago. That’s fine. I think we should sort out everything that happened in 2003 before we can get working on whatever’s going on now.

(...I’m feeling the need to clarify that I am aware that what clearly actually happened is Isy Suttie just heard an opportunity to tell a funny story on a panel show, and in the moment, made the not ideal decision to tell someone else’s stand-up story as though it happened to her. I very much like Isy Suttie, as far as I know she has no history of this sort of thing, it’s probably fine. But it genuinely gnaws at my brain that no one pointed out the flagrant issue with what she’d said, so I’ve enjoyed coming up with alternative theories.)

[drbtinglecannon]

Taking a second to focus on my favorite background bits of this wonderful beautiful gigantic cast picture by Dresden Douglas (their Tumblr is "dresdoodles" give them some love!!! I did not tag them here so I'm not hitting them with a notification full of my stupid observations haha)

Obviously gotta go to Darius & Eber first. Look at the utter disgust upon Darius' face even touching Hooty (or maybe it's directed at Eber for being willing to bite Hooty), meanwhile Eber is bitebiteclawmaim-ing Hooty but despite the claw marks they seem to be ineffective. I wonder how much of Eber's attacking is for his own safety/curiosity vs trying to save his bestie Darius from the Ick™. They're just my favorite "opposites that are besties for life" duo I could talk about these goobers forever

Skara & Viney (& Puddles)! My girls! They're wearing their Emerald Entrails uniforms! Personally I think they're a cute ship but even platonically I love how different they are yet have become their own little duo within the flyer derby team

THE BATTS *hiss*. Katya & Derwin looking at each other & doing the pose like total cuties, meanwhile Amber is making SUCH a face haha. Did anyone else imagine food fanfic chick from s1ep1 would end up fleshed out & important enough to be part of her own little corner of a massive art piece containing most of the show's cast that's hanging in a gallery dedicated to the show?

Gilbert & Harvey Park and Perry Porter, the Dads. So Perry focusing on work still even in this moment is condemnable honestly, dude is tangled in a coil of Hooty & is like "I need to report on this". Meanwhile Harvey has big watery eyes & Gilbert has a soft smile. I love the detail that Gilbert appears to be carrying Harvey, it matches with him being a construction witch (so probably fit) & also it's a funny reflection to Willow with her looking more like Gilbert & also being the Buff™ friend

Mattholomule & his big bro Steve!! Rip Steve this isn't the first time -- or even second time -- Hooty's taken him out, and it probably won't be the last. I love getting the brothers next to each other, helps show how similar they look. Matty is fairing better than Steve but he seems to be struggling himself. That's fair, boys, Hooty is certainly unpredictable

Grandma lesbians made it, good for them

You know that Gwen&Dell are looking at how happy their daughters & grandkids all are, like you know the scene before then is a dream come true kinda soft feeling that they've wanted for their daughters for decades

I love the fond expression on Emira's face looking at Edric, vs the confusion/surprised one on Alador's face. Edric's fine tho look at him he's having fun. Odalia can't even look at her family and is just absolutely scowling, but Kikimora is right beside her so horrible trash women Odalimora canon

You KNOW that Willow fanboy is shouting "WOooOOOooo GO WILLOW" seeing her & Hunter together. I think it's extra funny Boscha is right next to him looking like she's sucked on a lemon with Kat shrugging at Amelia but neither looking surprised by Boscha's antics. (as someone who always hated bos//low it's just such funny staging imo, I know it's probably not that but it's still funny)

[bonniebird]

Elena Gilbert x Male Reader x Bella Swan

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When you had told Caroline that you’d miss everyone and didn’t want to visit your elderly aunt alone in Forks, you’d expected one of her grand parties. The kind she only threw when everything was falling apart and doom seemed inevitable. 

You had not expected to arrive in Forks to find Elena, Stefan, Caroline and Bonnie sitting in your elderly aunt's living room having tea with her. They had rented a house together in the mountains and wanted to surprise you. 

Everything went well at first. Stefan seemed to have been wrangled into waiting hand on foot for your aunt and she seemed more than happy to have someone fuss over her. However, you suspected that Stefan enjoyed grand motherly affection. 

You took Elena with you to lunch with Bella. She’d been suspicious of Elena at first, though Elena had been suspicious of her. It was a strange strained lunch that resulted in you realizing that both know about vampires, both had sworn you to secrecy and the other each suspected that they wanted something nefarious from you. You made no plans to correct them. They could sort that out between themselves. 

Lunch with Bella became a regular occurrence. Her new boyfriend would drop her off and she’d sit opposite Elena, asking polite questions as she sipped at her coffee and convinced herself of Elena’s misdeeds.

“Are you ok?” Elena had been pushing her food around her plate towards the end of lunch and spotted that you had winced a few times. You nodded but now Bella was watching carefully as well.

“What’s wrong?” Bella and Elena said in unison when you winced again.

“We should go.” You said to Elena.

“Why? We only just finished lunch. If you have a headache I have some painkillers in my bag.” Bella said as Elena immediately stood up from her seat. 

“I just, I get bad headaches and I have to go.” You insisted. Elena hurried to grab onto your arm and hurry you out of the cafe. Bella watched from your table as Elena hurriedly put you in the passenger seat and drove your car off toward your aunt's house. Deciding enough was enough she called Alice. She was certain that Alice would help her without hesitation and she wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on.

Alice said nothing as she pulled up and Bella hurried in. She simply followed the directions she was given.

“You’re sure something terrible is going on?” Alice asked, finally speaking up as they stopped outside the old house.

“Yes. (Y/N) has been acting off and I don’t trust these new friends.” Bella insisted. They got out and hurried up the steps, Bella knocked on the door and, upon finding it locked, hurried inside. “Hello?” She called out.

She heard groaning and pained noises from the back room and motioned for Alice to follow her. They rushed through the house, crashed through the door, and found you clutching your head. You were siting in a large comfortable-looking armchair while your aunt fanned you with an ornate paper fan. Caroline was sitting on the floor scribbling away while Bonnie held your shoulders. She was looking up at the ceiling and saying things, describing something, Bella realized. Elena stood to one side with Stefan looking worried.

“Let go of him! What’re you doing to (Y/N)!” Bella demanded.

“Bella.” Alice said gently.

“You’re attacking him!” Bella continued.

“Bella. They’re helping him. You’re a vampire.” Alice said as she turned to Stefan who looked her up and down before nodding. “You’re a vampire too bad you're a witch.” She gestured to Bonnie and Caroline. Your pain seemed to stop and you fell back into the chair. Bella shoved Caroline and Bonnie out of the way to see if you were alright.

"I see things sometimes." You said as your way of explaining what happened.

“Oh. So they weren’t…``Bella trailed off and you laughed.

“Trying to hurt me? No. We’ve been through a lot. They wouldn’t hurt me.” You explained. Bella seemed dubious but accepted a chair when Elena offered to explain everything they’d gone through. Especially when Caroline and Stefan revealed that Alice was a vampire too. Your aunt said rather loudly that all this nonsense was too much for her and hurried off to take a nap in the other room.

Bella tags:

@lovelyy-moonlight @stellasblog @DeanWinchestersgirl87 @thekayarlene @linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @big-galaxy-chaos @daughterofthenight118 @multi-fandom5 @supernatural-wolfie @babygrinchsblog @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @littlefreakingfangirl @Kaitieskidmore1 @stupendousbelieverzombie @slxthxrxn-sxmp

Elena tags:

@lovelyy-moonlight @stellasblog @DeanWinchestersgirl87 @thekayarlene @linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @bluebear142077 @multi-fandom5 @rafecameronswhore @supernatural-wolfie @babygrinchsblog @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @littlefreakingfangirl @gillybear17 @Kaitieskidmore1 @stupendousbelieverzombie @slxthxrxn-sxmp

[keishajay]

Hocus Pocus 2 is... a giant missed opportunity

I really hope this isn’t just me being too old and jaded to enjoy new things anymore, but I HATED this movie. It was just boring and unfunny with no direction and the same pandering message that all movies seem to have nowadays. The writing choices honestly led me to believe the writers had never even seen the original, and the whole time, I couldn’t identify who this movie was made for. At first, I assumed it was just nostalgia baiting for people like me who love the original, and then, they nerfed the threat of the witches. Then, I figured it was for teenagers as their first exposure to Hocus Pocus, but then, they overloaded the whole thing with references from the first movie that nobody who hadn’t seen it already would get. Is it supposed to empower teenage girls? I honestly can’t tell. If you’ve never seen the original, the witches are kind of painted like victims in this one with the protagonists winning by killing them. I don’t even think it’s colorful and exciting enough to be for younger kids. Nothing really happens for a good chunk of its runtime.

There is but one good thing about this movie, and that is the original Sanderson sisters. They’re back and having just as much fun as before. They’re fun to watch when they’re on screen, but their chemistry and goofiness wasn’t enough to save this garbage fire of a script.

#1: Historical accuracy is a suggestion in this movie. Those girls would NOT have been allowed to live alone and act the way they did in the 1600s. Blah, blah, blah, witches and magic exist, but this takes place in the real world with real world history and rules. Winnie would not have been given a choice to marry that kid. His family probably would’ve taken her and her sisters in after their parents died, just waiting until they could be married. That’s two more hands to help in what looks like a farming hamlet. If they wanted Winnie to have that protective, older sister vibe, why not make her hate her forced husband? Why not make the sisters’ new guardians awful to them? You get the same outcome with a more sensible, relatable setup.

#2: The main characters have no personality. I didn’t even know one of the girls’ names until the end credits. All three of them are cardboard cutout teenage girls with the edges removed. And their “conflict” wasn’t even a conflict. I assumed Becca and Cassie were acting weird because one of them confessed to same-sex attraction (that’s exactly what that weirdness would’ve been if they were opposite genders). And then, it just turns out Cassie wanted her old friends to hang out with her new friends. Granted, that’s a very teenager fight to have, but it’s resolved and explained in all of ten seconds, and then, everyone’s just suddenly over it. That is not how teenagers act. These girls would’ve been so much more interesting if they’d just lifted them straight from The Craft.

#3: None of the characters have any agency in this story. In the original, the goals are clear and laid out from the start. The sisters need to brew their potion to kill children and make themselves young again before sunrise. Max, Dani, and Allison need to outsmart the witches to stop them, effectively cleaning up their own mess. Simple, clean, and easy to follow. What was the goal in the sequel? Becca and Izzy are following the same mess-cleaning plot as the first, but it wasn’t their mess in the first place. It was Gilbert’s fault, not theirs. They didn’t wake the witches by being stupid teenagers. They woke them because they were tricked. What was the witches’ goal? They didn’t have one until they saw the Mayor. Then, they wanted to kill him for like a second, and then, for some reason, they decided doing the all-powerful witch spell was what they wanted. Again, for reasons. Were they only awakened for that one night? Who knows. The movie and the witches themselves act like they have all the time in the world.

#4: The rules from the first are broken or ignored. Mary explicitly smells Dani and tells the others exactly how old she is in the first. Yet, they’re fooled somehow by two teenagers lying about their ages in the sequel. How, if Mary can tell a child’s age through smell? Binx states that nothing good can come from the spell book and repeatedly warns Max and Allison not to even open it. Now, in the sequel, the book bound by human skin suddenly can be used for good. It even has a personality now, and it didn’t want Winnie to use that power spell. Why? Because the book cared about her and her sisters? Again, why? It’s just handed over in the prologue and doesn’t seem bothered in the least about losing that master. It had just abandoned Winnie for Becca in the previous scene as well. Are the writers trying to imply that good people can make bad people change? The book has a personality now, after all.

#5: There are no stakes. Yes, this is a family movie. I get it, but you can still have stakes and threatening villains without crippling your script. The sisters have ample opportunity to kill Becca and Co. but choose not to until the plot armor kicks in to prevent them from being able to do so. They even threaten to kill them multiple times and don’t do it when there’s literally no reason why they wouldn’t. Morality certainly didn’t stop them from trying in the first one. As stated in point 3, the witches have no concrete goal for the heroes to stop. There’s no statement made about how to defeat the witches or even a ticking clock for urgency. The girls trap them once, which again led me to question why the writers kept ignoring Mary’s sense of smell, and then, all three witches just end up dead by the end through a combination of hubris and framing murder in a very questionable light. They literally assisted in Winnie’s suicide by lying to her about the spell being able to bring her sisters back. And this is framed as the kind thing to do. Excuse me. What? 

#6: The all-powerful witch spell is an awful plot device. The story warns us that this spell is very dangerous and should never be used. The book doesn’t even like it, and it hasn’t removed the spell itself, for some reason. (It can open itself, fly around, and select pages on its own. Why couldn’t it remove a page?) Why is it so dangerous the book gifted by Satan and bound with human skin doesn’t want it used? Who knows. The only indication of its danger is the very clearly stated cost of the spell. Fine. But if Winnie was now all-powerful, why couldn’t she just magic her sisters back to life somehow? She should be able to do anything she wants. She could just rewind time if she felt like it. There’s no inherent limit to omnipotence, and the story never provides one either. It also begs the question of why they never used it before. Why suck the lives out of children to stay young forever when you could just be all-powerful? Why didn’t the woods witch use it? Or did she and she was warning them as a cautionary tale? Who knows. The writers couldn’t seem to come up with an answer beyond Winnie promised she wouldn’t.

#7: Becca’s magic was essentially pointless to the plot. Everything she did with it could’ve just as easily been achieved with salt, which they used multiple times in the movie. She can’t even stand up to Winnie with it. So, what was its purpose exactly? The movie would’ve worked just as well without it. Hell, it might’ve even been better off that way. Then, we could’ve seen some ingenuity from our “heroes” as they stand up to people much more powerful than them.

90% of this movie just left me asking why over and over again. They had the makings of something that could’ve been fun. Maybe not great but at least fun. Bring the witches back by accident and focus on the omnipotence spell. They learned their lesson from last time and are just gonna skip all the child-murder nonsense. Turn Gilbert into an actual villain like Ben Ravencroft from Scooby-Doo instead of half-assing it and having him forgiven by the end for no reason at all. He didn’t redeem himself. He did nothing except trick people the entire story, and he’s a good guy at the end? Turn Becca, Izzy, and Cassie into Sarah, Bonnie, and Rochelle from the Craft. (Nancy’s a little intense for a family movie.) That setup pokes that nostalgia itch for both of these movies. Hell, go the extra mile and turn Gilbert into Nancy. Even that would’ve been cooler than what we got. How much better would it have been to have the girls go up against their power-hungry friend at the end of the movie? For those that want to argue that it’s fine the way it is, sure, that’s an opinion. But why would you want fine when things could be better? You lose nothing by having a solid story and a real magic system, so why not have them and make your movie better?

So, yeah, Hocus Pocus 2 is just missed opportunity 101 the movie. Not as bad as I was expecting but still not anywhere near what I would call good.

[orbitinghetalia]

Forgotten but not alone

He was walking besides his little brother. The one that had at some point managed to grow taller than him.

At some point their bosses cared for wanted Ludwig’s attention more than his and he had been pushed away from his brother’s side and he walked besides other people with a position within the government.

Then the other nations were more interested in Germany’s company than in Prussia’s. Which was good, in a way. He had fought wars so his baby brother would be able to grow strong and important. He had known what he was giving, he just didn’t fully realise what it would take from him.

After the war, no one wanted to know of him. His people, his brother’s people, hated him. The west was glad to forget about him, so much for his best friends. And Russia… Well, Gilbert thought the eastern nation wanted to hurt someone as much as he had been hurt.

He and Ludwig had hurt the other man badly.

For his massive union, Ivan was alone. Gilbert, on the wrong side of the wall, was mainly forgotten.

Alone and forgotten seemed nearly the same thing.

Maybe Russia and Prussia had something in common.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Prussia had walked in the shadow of Gemany.

Gilbert had come to terms of being forgotten in favour of Ludwig.

It was okay, he was glad to be home at last and to see his little brother thrive.

He would forever recognize the look of someone who was forgotten. Someone who was alone.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Everyone loved her little sister. Perfect little Feliciana.

Loved the woman so much they forgot the true heir of Rome. His oldest grandchild.

So of course they would forget about Chiara as easily.

As the people gathered around the representation of Italy, the older sister was left in the rain.

Chiara tried to take cover near a small, closed store and watched as the crowed moved away from her without noticing her absence while the rain continued to pour down on her.

Until it suddenly didn’t and she looked up. The brother of the potato eater her sister liked. The older potato eater. She was about to tell him to mind his own business when he spoke up.

“Want to follow that crowed or do something that is actually fun.”

“The fun is where that crowed is.” She answered sharply.

“Only if they remember you.” He looked at her. “I’m alone here and they seem to have forgotten about you.”

“Alone and forgotten are nearly the same thing.” She answered.

The right thing to say, since the man smirked and lead them in the opposite direction.

Chiara had never felt this happy to walk besides someone, the way she was happy to walk by this other forgotten nation’s side.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Maybe there was something to the way her little sister talked about her potato eater.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

@prumano-week prompt forgotten.

[knowltonsrangers]

Pining

AKA: when they realized they loved you.

Benjamin Tallmadge:

Ben exists in the present, and in his own fantasy world. He’s a dreamer, and always has stars in his eyes as he thinks of new things to add to his beaten up journal. Things come and go, ideas float around and swim in his mind before they’re scrapped and used for spare parts. But it wasn’t until you started appearing in these happy mindless thoughts of his, that he took a second to evaluate what he was getting himself into. Usually, the planes don’t overlap. You’ve created a bridge from his existing reality into his life, and he can’t help himself when he stares at you lovingly. He really does love you, the moment his blue eyes lock onto you, saying aloud that you are perfect.

Caleb Brewster:

When the room finally ceases spinning, he can stop and gather his thoughts. So much is always constantly happening around him, and he needs a moment to breathe, and take deep intakes of air that have him nearly toppling over. He’s stressed, he’s overworked, but still he continues, in fear of what comes when he doesn’t obey the rules. He realizes he’s absolutely in love with you when you remind him to breathe, remind him to take all the time he needs to cool down, and help him when he’s gotten himself into a blurry mess that he can’t clean up alone. Now, the room only stops spinning when he sees you, and his eyes light up like you’ve never seen before.

Ensign Baker:

It’s hard for people to get a good read of him, because he appears instinctively intimidating but he’s quite literally the opposite. More often then not, he finds it’s hard to share eye contact with you because he thinks that you’re so beautiful and he’s not worth the half a mind. But when you agreed to his proposal of maybe taking your friendship to another level, he swore that was the moment he fell in love. You accepted him for who he was, and didn’t bat an eye when someone needed help. You’re perfect, an absolute gem, and Ensign sees you for who you are, just as you see him for who he is. Fingers intertwined on that red string of fate.

Robert Townsend:

Easily enough, when you asked him ‘can I read some of your works?’. Unable to concoct a sentence, he simply stared at you blankly, to which you hastily followed up with: ‘but only if it’s okay with you, of course!’ He had never even thought of allowing anyone to see or read what he writes, because no ones ever asked. He’ll feel a bit bad for making it seem like he didn’t trust you, but it really was him taking those moments to realize that you actually wanted to. It wasn’t a pity offer or something, you genuinely wanted to, and that not only confused him, but made his heart thrum loudly in his chest. He’ll keep that moment to himself, but he knows it as the day he quite literally fell in love with you.

Marquis de Lafayette:

Gilbert was always a yes man. Anything anyone needed at any time he was always there, a pillar to lean on and an absolutely fantastic listener. However, in his times of trouble, he found when it came time to return the favor, people were hesitant to cough it up. You, on the other hand, went way out of your way to be that rock for him. A check up every week or so, outside of seeing him regularly, just a simple: ‘how’s everything going?’. It made his heart swell, because he knew you actually cared, and never sought him out just to complain. You were an amazing person who always returns the favor, and for that, he came to the conclusion he would love you forever.

George Washington:

‘You are doing enough.’ Four words got him. Four words that you said to him at the kitchen table one random Wednesday night, where he’d hunched over in his seat to rub at his temples to get the ache away from his head. Convinced for so long in any scenario, that he should have done this, not that, or maybe gone this direction instead of the other way, you carefully shoved all those doubts aside with four words. It got him enough that he finally let those stressed filled shoulders to drop, letting the anxiety and tension building up go. He definitely felt something in his chest tighten when you said those words, and he often thinks that that was the exact moment he realized he loved you.

Paul Revere:

Often asking him what he’d like. What would Paul Revere like? That’s a loaded question-but you simplify it into the easiest term possible, and he suddenly finds himself stupefied. What would he like to do? Well? His jaw opens up and closes, and then opens and closes again. Feeling this type of way is foreign to him, so when you catch him a couple weeks later and ask the same question with different context, he just about loses it. In his mind, he declares this as the moment the connection is made between his brain and his heart, where he decides he’ll go down on your ship forever. What does Paul Revere want? That’s a horribly loaded question with the simplest answer in the book. You.

Doctor Joseph Warren:

Telling him what a kind heart he has. Easily enough, he’s a man of doubts in between times of trouble. He has to be brave and he has to be precise because he just has to be. When he can’t figure something out, he turns to his friends, and when they can’t satisfy his question, he needs gratification. He needs an answer or it’ll eat him alive. Because of this, he always feels that his heart is in the wrong place. Is he doing the right things? Will it all work out? What is going to happen— ‘you have such a kind heart, Joseph,’ the sentence physically shut him up, snapping his jaw shut in surprise. In times of doubt, he seeks you out instead, the loving twinkle in his eyes never fading.

[a/n: hi! The semesters wrapping up, and while I’m finding it hard to get back into my groove of writing, I hope that this is okay for now! Ly 💕]