#but here's some more pain re:
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Li Lianhua + saying "I love you" without saying "I love you" (3/?)
Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)
#li lianhua#qiao wanmian#mysterious lotus casebook#lhl#lian hua lou#llh's love language#I'm sorry these gifs are gross and crunchy#kissasian failed me with only 720p =(((#but here's some more pain re:#food as a love language in MLC#I had to lie down for 5-10 business days after this scene fr#they both look so pretty with their teary eyes too#it's patently unfair#and I just loved this whole scene as a manifestation of queer LLH trying to navigate his relationship with QWM#whether he's gay or aroace or what#he still loves her and still wants her to be happy#and he hates himself for hurting her with the very fact of his existence
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Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.
#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#laios touden#kabru#izutsumi#Before anyone mistakes this as mischaracterization: The joke here is that it's ambiguous what the hell he means.#Kabru does love getting into fights a bit more than average but he's mostly here for the drama.#I screenshot the scene of him going 'The dark arts!' with a little smile everytime I re-read dungeon meshi. He's so catty. I love him.#And shout out to Izutsumi for adding fire to the drama. Girl said 'I am the listener. I heard that shit.' and refused to apologize.#Joke two: the deep cut - Welcome to more propaganda for whatever the hell is going on between Laios & Shuro & Kabru.#Laios trusting Shuro with some *heavy* information because he admires him so much! And wants to be his friend so badly!#Kabru also has another great character moment when he immediatly clocks Laios as not being as malicious as expected.#We love a character who can put the clues together! It is such a good subversion of what role we think Kabru is to play in this story!#Now he's eager to befriend Laios - who is barely interested and currently trying to befriend Shuro - who is barely interested and...well.#The painful triangle of people trying to get to know the other person better and being rejected...Friendship triangle.#We have all had a friendship triangle situation before. Right? You guys have also struggled to read people. Right?#Laios is universally relatable. Right?
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quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.
totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.
#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions#this is a re-expansion + new thing#so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition#i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again#i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset#my stomach a lot less#my health is forever a massive balancing act#every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u#and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later*#'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?'#/gen#like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps'#and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science'#alarm bells in my brain#like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur#overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%?#(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it)#also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that#sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion.#and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule'#2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model.#like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model#only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) /#(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those#like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag#it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies#like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context#ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be#neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it#anyways i gotta sleep
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not me working on the masterlist and writing with a "1 hour of deadly Victorian era fashion trends" video in the background
those bitches were out there putting fucking nightshade in their eyes to give themselves big pupils and dyeing their dresses with arsenic to make them vibrant green (along with eating it in 'complexion wafers') and deliberately trying to catch tuberculosis to be pale and thin HOW DID ANY OF THEM MAKE IT OUT ALIVE HOW DID THE HUMAN RACE ADVANCE PAST THAT POINT
#mod post#times were wild#did I know half of this stuff already? yes#am I still watching it bc it's interesting and different creators cover different things? HELL YEAH#I watched this particular creator's 1 hour of Japanese urban legends video the other day and I'm love#next up is her video of 1 hour of unusual freak shows/circus acts/etc. HERE COME THE BOC VIBES#after I get all of Bravat's masterlist done I'll have gotten 13 characters done for the masterlist#and after that I'll take a break from doing that and get some actual writing done#m w a h#re: Victorian fashion trends like I almost get it beauty is pain blah blah blah#but like yo I cry if I have to be in uncomfortable clothing for more than an hour and I get anxiety about accidentally getting like.#a little mouthful/eyeful of fragrance mist#I cannot imagine being so vain as to regularly and intentionally do something that was causing me pain and affecting my health#Victorians were fucking wild man dfakfjadkla my bafflement almost crosses into some respect for being so fucking hardcore
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Oh boy, Dead by Daylight patch time tomorrow. You know what that means! Time for me to unreasonably get my hopes up for new RE skins to be in the datamine and then feel the crushing disappointment when they aren't!
#RE gets better treatment than pretty much any other licensed property in the game I KNOW but#it's been over a year since the last time we got anything :|#and you know that stuff sells like hotcakes; i see some RE legendary skins more than i see certain regular survivors lol#still can't believe we didn't even get sweater dress ada when RE4R released... or luis or ashley as legendary skins#it seems so obvious to do??? especially now that remake luis and ashley are so popular???#of course my top wants would be steve or piers or billy#objectively i think billy is the only one with decent odds of ever making it into DBD if we get more skins#piers.... maaaaaaaaybe? if they did a batch with characters from 6 maybe but then he's competing with jake for a slot so i dunno#my poor steve has no chance outside of a code veronica remake getting announced in the near future RIP#but i can dream#DBD has been kinda miserable for solo queue lately with all the extreme tunneling and all but#it'd make the misery a little less miserable if i was hearing piers scream and moan in pain while i was playing :')#or if i could be steve and protect claire players with my life#h.text#h.REvomit#anyway i don't think any mutuals from here have me as a friend on PSN so you all don't know but#my DBD playtime is kinda horrific lmao#it's like... over 1800 hours if you combine the ps4 and ps5 versions#it's the pain i inflict upon myself haha#(feel free to add me on playstation though if anyone wants to!)
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iâm not like other girls, my âRestâ stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Sevenâs Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#iâm so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least iâd have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasnât in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways thereâs so much to vent about but iâm. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i canât vent about anyways. itâs too personal#so instead iâm gonna complain abt how i havenât been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. itâs like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how itâs ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe iâll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah iâm fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i donât know where the way out of it all is#every time i think iâve found it iâm wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. itâs over for u bitches#âu bitchesâ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and iâm Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i canât fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and iâm mad abt it#iâm mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. canât talk abt it so iâm gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i havenât spoken with lately. and in general. iâm so drained from the Everything that i just. canât.#it shouldnât be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess iâll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#iâm so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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well friends I have officially joined the Chronic Pain Club, itâs not great to be here, thereâs a chance itâs only temporary but my gut says âhmm many doubtsâ and I wonât really know for a couple of weeks anyway until my doctors appointment. So. Been navigating that for four days and well weâre navigating at least
#thereâs some sort of apollo prophecy dodgeball meme joke here#re me being close to many people w/ chronic pain/illness and being a strong empath#and already using spoon theory periodically for the mental health shite#âha ha wow this is so useful Iâm glad spoonies consider mental health strugglers part of this too!â and then I need you to imagine#that very specific TUNK sound a dodgeball makes#those thoughts have been living in my brain this weekend. anyway#mark and di if you happen to see this. TUNK (the dodgeball sound)#maybe itâs more irony than prophecy but as I said the thoughts have been there#I went to urgent care then the er thurs night because I spent an entire workday and over 8 hrs in severe abd pain#and it started on the lower right side so of course worried about appendix/gallbladder/etc#urgent care said yeah go to the er cause no matter what you need diagnostic imaging#and they asked have you ever had ovarian cysts I said no but my mom has (thereâs thoughts it can be genetic)#do an ultrasound and sure enough Iâve got em!#and doing some reading up after the fact âmost are asymptomatic and go away on their own!â I was like well fuck#I mean thatâs great but Iâve already failed the requirements I had STRONG symptoms#ibuprofen didnât do a thing for the pain. until yesterday the hydrocodone they prescribed was all that would#yesterday experimented with three ibuprofen and that does help thankfully#so yeah needless to say Iâm not very optimistic this is a âgoes away on itâs ownâ kinda cyst#but my obgyn is really booked and even squeezing me in/getting me in sooner is two weeks away#which is okay I get it healthcare is a mess#but yeah that means chronic pain for the foreseeable future#ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ it is what it is#weâre navigating at least thatâs all I can ask for#very glad I have today off because it was a very eventful weekend and I need an additional rest day lmao#but started off with low spoons because didnât sleep well + pain so weâll see how today goes#Cassie rambles#chronic pain shite#I have the mental health shite tag. might as well start that one lmao /cries
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Falling for the Enemy (M)
Synopsis: Caught in a toxic relationship with a manipulative and cheating boyfriend, you find solace in his enemy, Donghyuck. What starts as a vengeful fling turns into something more, and old feelings start to re-surface.
Genre: enemies with benefits?, childhood friends fallout, slice of life, angst, a lot of fighting, fluffy end, SMUT MDNI!!
Warnings: swearing, haechan getting into a fight, please guys donât fight lol, helping clean up after a fight, jealousy, cunnilingus, blowjob, teasing, ex knowingly watching, no condom mentioned (stay safe yall), the pull out method (pls be safe), use of the words hot seed, cum, cock.
Word Count: 18.5k
A/N: Shout out to my lovely đanon for this one!! After some internet troubles, itâs finally out now :) Please let me know if there is anything funky about this (I write on google doc and copy and paste it on Tumblr and sometimes it fucks up the format or doubles paragraphs)
Marketing would be a fun class if it wasn't for the pain that decided to sit next to you every single class.Â
"Youâre no better than your stupid boyfriend!" Donghyuck's voice cut through the air, his tone filled with disgust.
"Just shut up!" you snapped, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. Why did he have to make things so awkward?
Donghyuck, or Haechan as he insisted on being called now, was someone you hadn't seen in years. You used to be close friends back in middle school, basically best friends. But then life happened, and you had to move away. You two were so young that you couldn't even stay in touch through social media. Only a promise that you two would find each other later on.Â
Now here you two were, reunited in college, but things were different. Haechan was no longer the sweet boy you once knew. He had turned into an arrogant jerk, who wouldnât shut the fuck up.Â
Throughout the class, you couldn't shake off the discomfort of sitting next to Haechan, especially after his rude outburst. But beneath the cocky smirk on his face, you couldn't shake off the feeling that missed your friend that was long gone.Â
You would never tell anyone that you missed your childhood friend. Especially not any of your new friends, who also hate him. Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin all would jump at the chance to wipe that little smirk off his face.Â
Your best friend Chaeryeong was the only one who knew about your past with him. She's the only person who you could never lie to. She always had your back, so you will always have hers. Even if she hates your boyfriend, Jay.Â
Well, most of your friends hate your boyfriend... Jaemin has even tried to talk you into breaking up with Jay. But âpussied outâ as Chenle would say when he saw you were starting to tear up.
Jay was your first boyfriend. You learned how to deal with all of his flawsâŠEveryone has flaws so why is it so bad for him to have someâŠokay a lot of flaws. But heâs sweet to you!
You sat through the rest of the class with clenched fists, trying to focus on anything but the awkward tension that clung to the air between you and Haechan. His outburst still echoed in your mind, chewing at you. âYouâre no better than your stupid boyfriendâ.Â
Once everyone started to pack their bags, pulling you from your thoughts, you quickly gathered your things, hoping to escape before Haechan could throw another mocking remark your way. But, as expected, he would always be a little shit.
"Running away already?" Haechanâs voice was teasing, but there was something beneath it, something sharp that cut through the cocky tone. "Gonna run back to your little boyfriend."
You spun around, eyes glaring, ready to fire back, but then you caught Haechan's expression. It wasnât that usual smug grin he always wore. Instead, there was a hint of vulnerability that almost made you stop. Almost. But just like that, it disappeared, and he was back to his old self, smirking like nothing had happened. Typical.
"Maybe you should shut up for once, Donghyuck," you shot back, emphasizing his old name, hoping it would sting.Â
His smirk faltered. It was subtle, barely noticeable, but you saw it. Something about calling him âDonghyuckâ felt like a small victory. You were pretty sure the boy you once knew was entirely gone.Â
You turned on your heel and walked out of the classroom, leaving Haechan behind. As you made your way to the dining hall, you spotted Chenle and Jeno lounging on one of the benches, chatting. Seeing them made you feel more at ease. You needed a distraction. Anything to get your mind off that annoying encounter.
"Y/n! Over here!" Chenle called out, waving his arms dramatically. "Where's Jaemin?."
You shrugged, still shaken by your fight with Haechan. "I havenât seen him. Heâs probably sleeping through his class again."
"Or he got into another fight because of your boyfriend," Jeno added, his eyes holding a seriousness that made your stomach twist. You knew your friends didnât like Jay, but you wished they could just let it go.Â
"Can we not do this today," you muttered, dropping your bag next to Chenle and sinking onto the bench. You didnât have the energy to get into another debate about Jay right now.
Chenle nudged you playfully. "Come on, weâre just looking out for you. You deserve someone better than that guy."
"Yeah, someone who's not a total asshole," Jeno chimed in. "Like, seriously, what do you even see in him?"
You didnât answer. You couldnât. Instead, you stared off into the distance, your thoughts spiraling. It wasnât just about Jayâit was everything. The awkwardness with Haechan, the tension with your friends, the pressure to hold everything together when you felt like you were starting to unravel.
âHeâs sweetâŠâ You trailed off, your words sounding weak even to yourself. Was Jay sweet? Or was that just the version of him you had convinced yourself to see?
Chenle raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Sweet? Youâre joking, right? The same guy that has to approve your outfits when you go out."
You shot him a look, but he continued, persistent. "Iâm serious, Y/n. Thereâs âsweetâ and then thereâs whatever Jayâs doing to you. You deserve better."
Jeno, who had been scrolling through his phone, suddenly locked eyes with you. âYou think this is what loveâs supposed to feel like? Constant stress? Us having to break up fights Jaemin gets into because of Jay? You donât look happy.â
That last comment stung more than you expected like an arrow hitting its mark. Were you happy? Or had you just grown used to the chaos?
Your silence was telling, and your friends exchanged worried glances. Chenle let out a dramatic sigh and pulled out his phone, probably ready to change the topic, when you heard the sound of footsteps approaching. You didnât need to look up to know who it was.
âHey, whatâs up, guys?â Jaemin's voice was casual, but when he turned to you, his expression hardened a little bit. âJayâs looking for you again, Y/n. Heâs upset about something."
You felt your stomach drop. Of course, he was upset about something. Jay was always upset about something. And it was always your job to fix it, to calm him down, to make everything right.
Chenle clicked his tongue in disapproval. âSee? You canât even breathe without that guy hovering around. Heâs suffocating you.â
Jaemin sat down next to you, his tone softer now. âWeâre not trying to gang up on you, Y/n. But this⊠this isnât normal. Itâs not okay.â
You clenched your fists, feeling the weight of their words pressing down on you. You wanted to defend Jay, to tell them they didnât understand him the way you did. But deep down, you couldnât deny the truth of what they were saying.
âIâll talk to him,â you muttered, standing up. You didnât wait for their response as you walked away, feeling their eyes on your back. You knew they were worried, and maybe they had every right to be. But you couldnât just walk away from Jay. You didnât know how.
As you made your way toward the campus courtyard, your mind wandered back to the class with Haechan. You couldnât shake the image of his face when you called him Donghyuck. But you couldn't let it affect you. He probably did it on purpose so you would overthink and feel bad. Â
Lost in thought, you almost didnât notice when Jay appeared in front of you, his face twisted in frustration.
âWhere the hell have you been?â he snapped, his voice low but harsh. âIâve been calling you.â
Your stomach turned, and you immediately braced yourself for whatever fight was coming next. "I was in class. Whatâs wrong?"
Jay let out a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair. "You didnât tell me you were sitting next to him again." He spoke with clear disapproval, his gaze burning into yours.
âHim?â It took a moment before you realized he meant Haechan. âJay, itâs just class. The professor didnât let us pick where we could sit.â
âThatâs not the point, Y/n.â He stepped closer, his expression darkening. âI donât trust that guy, and I donât like you being around him.â
âJay, itâs not like thatââ
âIt better not be,â he cut you off, his voice laced with an edge that made your skin crawl. âHeâs a shitty person, heâs just trying to get to me.â
The words hung in the air. You knew Jay had a jealous streak, but this felt differentâdarker, more possessive. And for the first time, you felt a tinge of fear.
"IâI have to go," you said quickly, your heart pounding as you stepped back. You didnât wait for Jay to respond. You couldnât. Your feet moved on autopilot, moving away from him.Â
But as you hurried through the campus, a sinking feeling settled in your chest. You didnât know where you were running toâonly that you had to get away from yet another fight.Â
Choosing to buy some coffee, you push open the local cafĂ© on campus. The familiar chime of the cafĂ© door was a welcome sound, cutting through the fog of your jumbled thoughts. The smell of roasted coffee beans and fresh pastries welcomed you as you stepped inside. You spotted an empty table in the corner and made a beeline for it, craving to be away from everything. You ordered a simple iced latte, hoping the cool drink might calm you down.Â
As you waited for your coffee, you buried your face in your hands. Why did it always have to feel like this with Jay? Why did every conversation leave you feeling smaller, and more insecure about yourself? Your friends were right but you didnât know what to do.Â
But what could you do? You couldnât just walk away. You loved him⊠didnât you?
Before you could spiral any further, the barista called your name, pulling you from your thoughts. You grabbed your coffee and took a seat, letting the ice clink against the cup as you swirled it absently.Â
The door to the cafĂ© swung open again, noticing it was Haechan you hid your face with your hands. Not wanting to deal with him again.Â
He walked in, his eyes scanning the room before they landed on you. For a moment, he hesitated, then made his way over to your table.
âYouâre in my spotâ he stated, his tone sharp. You stared at him, unsure of what to say.
You hesitated for a moment, did you really want to start a fight right now? âI donât see your name on it.â
Haechan slid into the seat across from you, leaning back in his chair as if trying to gauge your mood.
âIâve never seen you here,â he started, running a hand through his hair. âWhatâs wrong?â
You blinked, caught off guard. This wasnât the Haechan you were used toâthe cocky, arrogant guy who seemed to enjoy making your life miserable. Where is the teasing?
âNone of your business,â you muttered, staring into your coffee cup, avoiding his gaze. The last thing you wanted was to bare your soul to Haechan of all people. You didnât need his pity, and you certainly didnât need him to insert himself into your problems. He would use any information to torment Jay, which would just start an even bigger fight between you two.Â
But Haechan wasnât easily deterred. âYou donât have to tell me, but Iâm not an idiot. You look like a kicked puppy.â
There he goes, mocking you even at your worst. But he caught you off guard by how well he could read you. To most people, you probably look like a tired college student, normal. But for some reason, Haechan could tell there was something wrong.Â
You shook your head. âWhy do you care, Haechan?â
He rolled his eyes, leaning forward on the table. âMaybe because itâs not fun to tease you when youâre already miserable.â
You flinched. His words struck deeper than you expected. Did it show that much? Did everyone see itâhow exhausted you felt, how tightly you were hurt from trying to keep everything together? You opened your mouth to retort, but no words came out.
Haechan sighed, looking away for a moment before meeting your eyes again.Â
âHaechan.â The barista called out.Â
Haechan got up and grabbed his drink before asking something you couldnât make out. You watched him as he left, not sparing you another glance.Â
You sighed out, of course, he doesn't care. Heâs probably high on seeing you this miserable.Â
But before you could throw yourself another pity party, the cafe doors slam open and a concerned-looking Chaeryeong comes rushing in. Â
âY/n!â Chaeryeongâs voice cut through the noise of the cafĂ© as she rushed over to your table, her face a mix of concern and urgency. You barely had time to brace yourself before she slid into the chair across from you, eyes scanning your face for answers.
âWhatâs going on? Haechan just said you needed me.â Her tone was low but insistent, probably thinking this was a plan made up by Haechan, trying to get under your skin again.Â
You exhaled slowly, trying to gather your thoughts. âItâs⊠nothing. Just another argument with Jay.âÂ
Chaeryeong frowned, her brows knitting together. "Another argument? Y/n, youâve been having a lot of those lately."
You shook your head, trying to dismiss her concern. "Itâs just a misunderstanding. He got upset about me sitting next to Haechan again. He thinks itâs some big deal, but itâs not."
"Jay seriously has issues if heâs getting worked up over something like that." Chaeryeongâs voice was firm, but there was a softness in her eyes like she was trying to tread carefully. "You know this isnât normal, right?"
You looked down at your iced latte, feeling the familiar swirl of guilt and confusion rise. You loved Jayâat least, you thought you did. But lately, everything felt like a battle, and you were always on the losing side.
 "Itâs fine," you said weakly, though the words felt like they were collapsing in on themselves. "Heâs just... protective."
Chaeryeong let out a sigh, her frustration barely concealed. "Y/n, thereâs a difference between being protective and being controlling. I hate seeing you like this. Itâs like youâre always walking on eggshells with him."
You didnât respond, unable to meet her gaze. The weight of the conversation was suffocating, but you couldnât deny the truth in her words. Jayâs jealousy had started to bleed into every part of your life, and it was exhausting.
After a moment of silence, Chaeryeong leaned forward, her voice softer. "You donât have to keep defending him. I know you care about him, but... is he making you happy?"
That question lingered in the air. Was Jay making you happy? Or were you just holding on to the idea of what you thought love should be?
Before you could answer, Chaeryeong reached out and squeezed your hand. "You deserve better than this, Y/n. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel safe, not stressed out all the time."
You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Can we switch the topic, I donât want to talk about this right now," you whispered.Â
Chaeryeongâs grip tightened on your hand. "You donât have to figure it all out right now. Just know that youâre not alone, okay? Iâm here for you."
You nodded, grateful for her support, but still feeling lost in the mess of your emotions. The tall barista came up to your table with a plate of red velvet cookies.Â
âUm, here you goâŠ.â He sat them down on the table in front of you.
âWait! I didnât pay for this.âÂ
The barista gave you a small, almost shy smile. "Don't worry about it. They're already paid for." Before you could ask any more questions, he walked away, leaving you and Chaeryeong to exchange confused glances.
Chaeryeong raised an eyebrow, leaning closer to examine the cookies. "Who do you think...?"
You didnât have to guess for long. So thatâs what he was asking the barista. You blinked, processing the moment.
Chaeryeong noticed too, her eyes narrowing. "Did Haechan just... buy you cookies?"
You shrugged, feeling more confused than anything. "I guess?"
Chaeryeong leaned back, a mixture of amusement and suspicion crossing her face. "Weird, right? I thought he was a jerk."
"Yeah... he is," you muttered, still trying to piece together Haechan's sudden act of kindness. It didnât fit with the person youâd been dealing with all semester.Â
But for right now, you werenât going to overanalyze it. You had enough on your plate with Jay and the constant pressure you were under. Haechan's behavior would have to wait.
You broke the cookie in half and offered a piece to Chaeryeong, hoping to shift the focus back to something lighter. "Want some? Might as well not let them go to waste.
She accepted the piece with a small smile, though her gaze remained thoughtful.Â
"You know, maybe heâs not as bad as we thought. Or maybe he's just a confusing guy."Â
You let out a soft laugh, nodding in agreement. "Thatâs putting it lightly."Â
But as the sweetness of the cookie melted in your mouth, the door to the café swung open again, and for a moment, your heart jumped, fearing it might be Jay.
But instead, it was Chenle and Jaemin, both of them scanning the room until they spotted you and Chaeryeong.
"Hey, there you are," Chenle said, sliding into a seat next to Chaeryeong. Jaemin followed sitting in the seat next to you, giving you a concerned look. "Everything okay?"
You forced a smile, trying to shake off the heaviness of the conversation. "Yeah, Iâm fine. Just... needed some space."
Chenle raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced, but he didnât push. Instead, he gave a playful nudge. "Well, weâre here now, so no more pity parties. Letâs get you out of this mess.â
Jaemin studied you for a moment before speaking. "Weâre here for you, Y/n. Whatever you need." You nodded, feeling a small sense of relief.Â
âOoo cookies!â Chenle grabbed one without asking.Â
âYou even ordered yourself some of your favorite cookiesâŠoh no this is badâ Jaemin continued, shaking his head with exaggerated seriousness. "Cookies are your comfort food."
Chenle, mid-bite, paused and raised his eyebrows.
"Wait, did something happen with Jay again?" His usual playful tone shifted slightly, concern creeping in as he glanced between you and Chaeryoung.
You sighed, feeling the weight of their questions. "It's nothing. Just... the usual stuff. He got upset about me sitting next to Haechan in class again."
Jaeminâs face hardened. "Y/n, thatâs not nothing. Heâs been doing this for a while now. Getting jealous and picking fights. Itâs not normal."
Chenle, despite the cookie in his mouth, nodded vigorously. "Exactly! Why does it even matter where you sit in class? Youâre not his property."
You glanced away, not wanting to meet their eyes. The conversation was heading in the same direction as before, and you felt that familiar knot of guilt tightening in your chest.Â
After a moment of silence, Chaeryoung spoke up, âShe didnât even buy these cookiesâŠguess who did.â
Chenle blinked, pausing mid-chew as he looked between you and Chaeryoung.Â
"Wait, are you bragging about buying cookies for a heartbroken girl?" His voice was laced with teasing. She shook her head ânoâ and Jaeminâs eyes narrowed in curiosity.
You hesitated, feeling a twinge of discomfort as you answered quietly, "Haechan."
Jaemin leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "Haechan? He bought you cookies?" His tone was a mix of disbelief and a little bit of protectiveness.
Chenle stared at the cookie in his hand, then at you, then back at the cookie. "So, youâre telling me Iâm eating Haechanâs cookies? Theyâre probably poisoned!"
"Itâs not like I asked him to," you muttered, feeling the tension rising again. "He just⊠did."
Chaeryeong raised an eyebrow, a knowing look in her eyes. "He didnât say much when he saw me outside of the cafe, just told me that Y/n needed me."
Jaeminâs frown deepened. "Thatâs weird. Since when does Haechan care about anyone but himself?"
You shrugged, still unsure of what to make of the gesture. "I donât know. Maybe heâs just messing with me, trying to get under my skin."
Chaeryeong smirked. "Or maybe heâs trying to get you under him!"
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah right. Heâs just... being Haechan, weird."
Chaeryeongâs energy shifted immediately, her smirk softening into a more playful grin as she leaned forward, practically buzzing with excitement. "Alright, enough of this! We need to get you out of here. Youâve been drowning in all this drama for too long.â
Chenleâs eyes lit up at the suggestion, already nodding in agreement. "Yes! A night out is exactly what you need. No Jay, no Haechanâjust us having fun. There is a party at Markâs place tomorrow night." He winked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
Jaemin, though quieter, gave a nod of approval. "It could be good for you, Y/n. A break from everything."
You hesitated, a part of you wanted to curl up at home and avoid the world, but another part knew that maybe they were right. You needed a break from all the chaos.
"Alright, fine," you sighed, feeling the weight on your chest lighten just a little. "Iâll go to Markâs party tomorrow."
Chaeryeong clapped her hands together, practically glowing with excitement. "Yes! Itâs going to be so much fun, I promise! Just good vibes, and youâll finally get a chance to relax."
Chenle grinned, "Thatâs the spirit! Plus, you know, itâs always a good time at Markâs. Who knows, maybe youâll meet someone newâŠ"
Jaemin shot Chenle a look, silently warning him to tone it down, but Chenle just winked at you, clearly trying to keep things light.
You chuckled, feeling a small flicker of relief. "Iâm not going to a party to meet someone, Chenle."
"Maybe not," Jaemin said with a small smile, "but at least youâll be there with your friends, and thatâs what matters."
The next evening, the air was buzzing with excitement as you stood in front of the mirror, eyeing the mixture of outfits Chaeryeong had scattered across your bed. She was currently looking through your closet, tossing out options as if she were styling a fashion shoot instead of just picking something for a party.Â
âYou need something bold but effortless,â Chaeryeong declared, holding up a black, form-fitting dress before shaking her head and discarding it. âSomething that says, âIâm here to have fun, not to impress.â But, you know, still impressive.â
You laughed, sitting on the edge of your bed as you watched her being dramatic. "Chaeryeong, itâs just a party. Iâm not trying to walk a runway."
Chenle, lounging in the corner of your room, raised an eyebrow. "No, but youâre going to Markâs, and thereâs a difference. Youâve gotta show up looking good.â
You groaned as Chaeryeong shot you a knowing look. âYou donât want to walk in looking anything less than your best. Trust me, itâll help you feel more in control." She pulled out a green silk dress from your closet, holding it up against you. "This. Itâs perfect."
You looked at the dress, hesitant. It was beautiful. "I donât know⊠itâs kind of a lot."
"Exactly," Chaeryeong said with a grin. "You need a lot. Letâs remind everyoneâincluding youâthat youâre the main character tonight."
Chenle laughed, getting up from his spot. "You heard her. Tonight is your night to shine, Y/n."
Sighing, you finally stood up and took the dress from Chaeryeongâs hands. "Fine. Letâs do it."
An hour later, you were slipping on the last of your jewelry as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. The green dress hugged your curves in all the right ways, and the satin shimmered under the soft lighting of your room. Chaeryeong had helped style your hair, soft waves falling over your shoulders, and Chenle, surprisingly, had given his input on your makeup. A bold lip to contrast the simplicity of the rest of your look.
"Wow," you whispered, half in disbelief at how different you looked.
Chaeryeong stood beside you, grinning from ear to ear.Â
"Told you. You look amazing."
Chenle nodded, leaning in the doorway. "Everyone is gonna wish they were with you."
You rolled your eyes, but deep down, a part of you couldnât help but wonder. Would they? Would Jay? Or would you finally not care?
With a final glance in the mirror, you grabbed your bag, feeling a rush of determination. Tonight was about you.
As you made your way downstairs, the sound of music and distant chatter already filled the air. Chenle and Chaeryeong followed close behind.
Chaeryeong linked her arm with yours as you stepped outside, the cool night air brushing against your skin. âDonât let it get to you, Y/n. Just have fun tonight. Remember, weâre here to enjoy ourselves.â
You nodded, trying to push aside the lingering thoughts of Jay and Haechan, and all the drama that seemed to follow them like a shadow. Tonight wasnât about themâit was about you.
The drive to Markâs place was filled with lighthearted chatter, Chenle and Chaeryeong alternating between playful bickering and hyping you up for the night ahead. But the closer you got to the party, the more you felt the familiar nerves creeping in.
âWeâre here!â Chaeryeongâs voice cut through your spiraling thoughts, and you blinked as the car pulled up to Markâs house. Music thumped from inside, and the soft glow of lights poured from the windows, illuminating the big crowd already gathered outside.
You took a deep breath as the three of you stepped out of the car, Chenle offering you a quick thumbs-up for encouragement. âRemember, main character energy. Letâs go.â
As you approached the front door, Mark himself appeared, grinning as he waved you inside. âY/n! You made it!â
 He gave you a quick, welcoming hug before greeting Chaeryeong and Chenle. âThe partyâs just getting started. Drinks are in the kitchen, and the backyard is open if you want to chill.â
You thanked him and followed the crowd into the house, trying to shake off the remaining nerves. The music, laughter, and the buzz of conversation washed over you, helping to melt away some of your worries. Chaeryeong handed you a drink, her eyes already sparkling.
âLetâs go find somewhere to sit!â she said over the music, pulling you toward the living room, where a few familiar faces were already lounging.
But before you could get comfortable, your eyes caught a familiar figure leaning against the wall near the kitchenâHaechan.
 He was chatting with someone, but his gaze shifted just as you entered the room. For a split second, your eyes locked, and there was a flicker of something in his expression, though you couldnât quite read it.
âFocus on having fun,â Chaeryeong whispered in your ear, snapping you out of your daze.
You smiled at her, grateful for the reminder, and nodded. Tonight was about fun. About letting go.
Jaemin and Jeno moved to form a spot where you could sit between them. You settled down, feeling a wave of relief as the two of them immediately began chatting, creating a comfortable bubble around you. Jeno handed you a drink with a reassuring smile.
 "Looking good, Y/n."
Jeno, always the more laid-back one, nudged your shoulder. "Weâll make sure you have a good time. No drama, no distractions."
You took a sip of your drink, nodding. Their presence was calming, a much-needed escape from the whirlwind of emotions youâd been feeling lately.
Chaeryeong and Chenle were already engrossed in a conversation across from you, laughing about something Chenle said, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to feel at ease.
Jaemin leaned in slightly, his voice low so only you could hear. "You look amazing tonight, by the way." He smiled.
You felt a warmth spread across your cheeks, and before you could respond, Jeno chimed in, as if reading the moment. "Jaeminâs right. That green dress is doing wonders."
You laughed, grateful for their compliments but not wanting to dwell on it too much. "Thanks, guys. I needed this.â You took a chug from your drink.Â
Jaemin smiled softly. "Weâre always here for you, Y/n."
You nodded, then stood up, smoothing down the hem of your dress as you glanced around the room. The music thumped louder as more people began to fill the space, and for a moment, you just stood there, letting the beat pulse through you.Â
"Then letâs dance," you said, gesturing toward the group of people already dancing.
Jaemin grinned, standing up and offering you his hand. "Thought youâd never ask."
Jeno followed close behind, already moving to the rhythm of the music as you all made your way to the center of the room. The bass of the music vibrated through the floor, the lights flashing in time with the beat, casting colorful patterns on the crowd around you.
As soon as you hit the dance floor, the energy shifted. The three of you fell into the rhythm easily, laughing and letting the music take over. You spun around, arms raised, carefree.
"Now this is what I like to see from you," Jaemin said, leaning close so you could hear him over the music. You laughed, spinning around again, letting the moment take over.Â
Your heart skipped a beat when your gaze locked with Haechan from across the room. He stood near the edge of the dance floor, leaning against the wall with his usual confident smirk. His eyes were focused intently on you, watching your every move. For a moment, everything else fadedâthe music, the crowd, even Jaemin and Jenoâs presenceÂ
Haechan didnât look away. Instead, his smirk deepened, almost like he knew something you didnât, a silent challenge hanging between you.
Jaemin nudged your arm, breaking your concentration. "Hey, you good?"
You blinked, forcing a smile and nodding. "Yeah, Iâm good!âÂ
The spot where Haechan had been standing was now empty, leaving you momentarily confused.
Jaemin noticed your brief flicker of confusion. âLooking for someone?â he asked, raising an eyebrow.
You shook your head quickly. "No, just... thought I saw something."Â
Before Jaemin could say more, Chenle swooped in, pulling you by the wrist and pulling you towards him and Chaeryeong. âCome on! No more standing around, letâs get moving!âÂ
You let yourself be pulled into the crowd, trying to shake the image of Haechan from your mind.
Feeling a bit drained, you excused yourself from your friends and made your way to the kitchen in search of another drink. The party was packed, and the energy was starting to get overwhelming.
After a few moments of being bumped and nudged, you decided it was best to escape the chaos. With a sigh of relief, you slipped out to the backyard, hoping for a moment of peace away from the noise and crowd.
The cool night air greeted you as you stepped outside, the sounds of laughter and music fading into the background. The backyard was a welcome contrast to the chaotic energy inside. Strings of fairy lights hung above, casting a soft glow over the space and illuminating a few scattered chairs around a fire pit.Â
You walked toward the edge of the patio, leaning against the railing and taking a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs. The stars twinkled above like tiny diamonds, and for a moment, you lost yourself in their beauty, feeling a sense of calm wash over you.
As you took a sip of your drink, you heard the door open and someone rushed out. Turning you saw Haechan. He was searching the backyard until his eyes met yours and he sighed, walking over to you.
âWhat do you want?â You rolled your eyes, already knowing he wasnât the best company.Â
âI know you donât exactly like meâ You scoffed as he put his hands up, telling you to wait, âBut I hate cheaters, so I needed to tell you.â
You raised an eyebrow, skepticism written across your face. âTell me what, exactly?â
Haechan leaned against the railing beside you, his expression serious, a stark contrast to the usual playful demeanor. âNo, seriously. I just saw Jay go into a room with another girl.â
Your heart sank, the weight of his words crashing down. You took a moment to process what he was saying, anger and disbelief swirling within you.
 âAre you sure? That sounds like something you would say to mess with me.â
âI get why youâd think that, but I wouldnât lie about something like this,â Haechan replied, frustration creeping into his tone.
 âI may not be your favorite person, but I wouldnât do that. You deserve to know the truth.â
You swallowed hard, your grip tightening around your drink. The reality of the situation settled over you, and you could feel your heart racing.
 âWhich room?â
Haechan hesitated for a moment, his gaze steady. âI donât think you want to go in there.â
A bitter laugh escaped your lips, the kind that felt hollow. âJust tell me which room.â
Haechan glanced at you, a flicker of empathy crossing his features. âUpstairs, the second one on the right.â
You put your cup down and started to make your way back into the party in search of the stairs.Â
âAre you sure about this?â Haechan, who you didnât even notice was following, asked you.Â
You nodded and moved quickly, your heart racing as you made your way through the crowd. The lively music and laughter faded into the background, drowned out by the storm of thoughts in your head. The dim lights seemed to press in, making your thoughts feel even more stressed.
As you reached the stairs, you hesitated for a brief moment, the weight of what you were about to confront hitting you like a ton of bricks. But the image of Jay with another girl flashed in your mind, fueling your determination. You needed answers. You needed to reclaim your dignity.
Going up the stairs, you felt your breath quicken. Each step seemed to echo with the anxiety of what lay ahead. Reaching the second door on the right, you paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You could hear muffled voices from inside, giggling mingling with the soft kissing.Â
Throwing open the door you felt the air leave your lungs in a rush, your heart dropping as the scene unfolded before you. Jay was on top of another woman, his hands tangled in her hair, their lips inches apart.
Time seemed to freeze as Jayâs eyes shot wide open, and the laughter from the girl faltered into a shocked silence.Â
âY/n! Iââ Jay stammered, scrambling to sit up, the realization of your presence crashing over him like a wave.Â
You didnât let him finish. âWhat the hell is this?â Your voice trembled, a mix of anger and disbelief swirling within you. The hurt was too much, twisting your stomach into knots.
The girl, wide-eyed and uncomfortable, quickly shuffled away from Jay, her cheeks flushing a deep crimson. âI didnât knowââ she started, but you cut her off.
âSave it,â you said, directing your fury back at Jay.
âAfter everything Iâve done for you.â
Jay stood up fully now, his expression shifting from shock to guilt. âI didnât mean for you to find out like this,â he began his voice low, almost pleading.Â
You turned your back towards him and rushed down the stairs. You could hear him following you. So you looked for any of your friends but couldnât find them. Instead, your eyes connect with Haechans near the bottom of the stairs.Â
Rushing over to him you pull him down by his shirt and whisper âsorryâ before pulling him into a heated kiss.Â
Haechanâs eyes widened in surprise, but he didnât pull away. Instead, he responded, his hands finding your waist as he kissed you back with an urgency that matched your own. The chaos of the party faded into the background, the pounding music replaced by the sound of your racing heart.
But before it could get any farther, you were ripped away from Haechan by the sudden appearance of a familiar voice.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing?â Jayâs voice cut through the moment, sharp and accusatory. You turned to see him standing there, his expression a mix of disbelief and anger.
Haechan stepped back, his demeanor shifting instantly from passionate to defensive.Â
âJust what you were doing with that other girl,â he replied, his tone challenging. âMaybe you should have thought about that before youââ
âDonât!â Jay interrupted, stepping toward you both.
âYou have no right to act like the hero here. You donât know whatâs going on.â
âI know exactly whatâs going on, so if you donât mind we were kind of doing somethingâ, Haechan shot back, his eyes narrowing as he stepped slightly in front of you, shielding you from Jay.
You could feel the tension in the air thickening. âHaechan, stop,â you said, placing a hand on his arm. You could see the fire in his eyes, but you didnât want this to escalate any further.
Jayâs expression twisted with frustration. âYou think you can just come in and play the knight in shining armor? Sheâs my fucking girlfriend!â
âAnd you think I care?â Haechan replied, crossing his arms defiantly. âYou had your chance to treat her right, and you blew it.â
Jay shook his head, thinking about what to say next, but Jay was never good with his words so he stepped forward and swung.
Haechan barely had time to react. The punch landed squarely on his jaw, sending him stumbling back. You gasped, instinctively stepping between them, your heart racing at the sudden escalation.
âJay, what the hell?!â you shouted, adrenaline rushing through you. âThis is not how you handle things!â
Jayâs face was flushed with anger, his fists clenched at his sides. âHeâs a fucking piece of shit!â he snapped, breathing heavily.Â
Haechan regained his composure and moved around you, delivering a swift punch to Jay's jaw. The impact echoed, and Jay staggered back, eyes wide with surprise.Â
As they started to throw punches back and forth, you didnât know what to do. A group of people gathered around them.Â
You saw Jaemin and Jeno pushing through the crowd, their expressions a mix of alarm and confusion. âWhat the hell is going on?â Jaemin shouted, his voice rising above the commotion.
âY/n, get out of the way!â Jeno called out as he reached for your arm, pulling you back. You didnât want to move, didnât want to feel powerless while the two of them fought over you like you were some trophy for their ego.
âStop it!â you shouted again, trying to push through the gathering crowd, but your voice was drowned out by the sound of fists connecting and the murmurs of onlookers.Â
Jaemin managed to get closer, stepping between Jay and Haechan. As Jeno grabbed Jay from behind to stop him from throwing any more punches.Â
âBoth of you, enough! This isnât the way to handle it!âÂ
Haechan, breathing heavily, stepped back, his fists still clenched. âHe deserves this, Jaemin! He cheated on her!â
Jay looked furious, âThis is all his fucking fault!â He spat at Haechan.Â
You could see his expression begin to harden again, that familiar mask of arrogance threatening to resurface. Without thinking, you reached for his hand, gripping it tightly as you attempted to pull him away from the chaos of the crowd.Â
Haechan looked momentarily shocked, his eyes widening at your sudden gesture, but he didnât resist as you led him out into the cool evening air, away from the noise. As you stepped into the front yard, you pulled out your phone and ordered an Uber.Â
âWhat are you doing?â Haechan asked, his voice low, and filled with confusion. His hand was still in yours, but he made no move to pull away, his gaze locked on your face.
You hesitated, the words caught in your throat as the reality of the moment started to sink in. What were you doing?
âI needed to get out of there,â you admitted quietly, your grip loosening slightly, but you didnât let go.
His eyes softened, just a little, the hardness from earlier fading as he studied you.Â
"Okay."Â
Haechan sat down on the curb of the road and gestured for you to sit down next to him.Â
You hesitated for a moment, then quietly sat beside him on the curb, the cool pavement grounding you.Â
âSo, how are we going to get back at him?â you asked, your voice low but edged with determination.Â
Haechan turned toward you, eyes narrowing in surprise. âWhat?â
You met his gaze, a fire igniting within you. "Jay. How are we going to make him regret everything?"Â
Haechan blinked, momentarily caught off guard. He studied your face for a long second as if trying to gauge whether you were serious. Then, a slow, knowing smirk curled on his lips.Â
âAre you sure youâre ready to play that game?â he asked, voice dripping with amusement.
You held his gaze, feeling the weight of his question sink in. Was this really what you wanted? A part of you knew it was reckless, that using Haechan to get back at Jay could only make things worse.Â
âI need to hurt him,â you replied, your voice steadier than you felt. âIf he wants to treat me like Iâm nothing, then maybe itâs time I show him I donât need him.â
Haechan's smirk deepened, a glint of something dangerous flickering in his eyes. âAlright, then. Letâs make this interesting.â
Before the two of you could come up with an actual plan, the Uber showed up. You exchanged a quick look with Haechan before giving the driver your address.Â
The ride was quiet, you could feel Haechanâs gaze lingering on you but you didnât want to say anything so you settled for looking out the window.Â
When the car finally pulled up in front of your apartment, you stepped out, turning back to wait for him. Haechan, still sitting in the backseat, raised an eyebrow.
âWhat?â he asked, his voice casual, but his eyes searched yours.
You gestured for him to follow. âCome on.â
For a moment, he hesitated, as if weighing his options. Then, with a slight shrug, he climbed out of the car, closing the door behind him.
âIs there a reason youâre taking me back to your house?â Haechan teased, his tone playful as always, though his eyes held a hint of curiosity.
You shot him a glance, rolling your eyes. âLook at you. You look awful, and I know youâre not smart enough to clean an open wound.â
Haechan smirked, following you toward your apartment door. âI didnât realize I was so lucky to have a personal nurse.â
You ignored his sarcasm, unlocking the door and stepping inside. âJust sit down and let me handle it before you get an infection.â
As he walked in, his usual cocky demeanor softened slightly. He never thought you two would be talking again. Not after he was such a huge jerk to you.
He sank onto the couch, watching you as you moved through the small space, grabbing your first aid kit from under the sink. There was an awkward quiet that hung between you two, but you didnât want to acknowledge it.
Returning to the living room, you set the kit on the coffee table and crouched in front of him, carefully opening it up.
âYou know, I can do this myself,â Haechan said, but his voice lacked its usual teasing bite.
âYeah, sure,â you muttered, reaching for the antiseptic.
âLike I trust you not to make it worse.â
He chuckled, though there was an unspoken tension behind it. As you gently cleaned the small cuts and scrapes, you couldnât help but notice how quiet he had become, his gaze occasionally flickering to your face.
âWhy are you doing this?â he asked after a moment, his voice softer than you expected. "I didnât punch him because of you, I did it because heâs a jerk."
You paused for a second, looking up at him, your hands still resting on him. âItâs the least I can do,â you admitted honestly. âSince you told me.âÂ
Haechan sighed, his eyes drifting around your living room. His gaze lingered on the little detailsâpictures on the wall, the books stacked messily on the coffee tableâbefore he turned back to you, something softer in his expression.
"Done," you said, pulling your hands away after finishing with his wounds.
He flexed his hand, testing the bandages, and gave you a small, almost appreciative nod. "Thanks..." His voice was low, the teasing gone entirely.
You just shrugged, trying to brush off the weight of the moment. "Donât get used to it," you said with a small smile, but there was no real bite to your words.Â
Haechan met your eyes, something unreadable passing between you before he looked away again. "I owe you."
âI will remember that!â you laughed, getting up from the floor and brushing off your pants. âIâm tired, you can sleep on the couch. Iâll bring you some pillows.â
Haechan watched you with an amused expression, his eyes glinting. âI appreciate the offer, but I donât want to crash on your couch.â
âToo bad,â you shot back playfully, heading toward the closet. âYou look like you need the rest after everything. Plus, I don't want to be responsible for you bleeding out.â
âFair point,â he conceded, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.Â
You returned with a couple of pillows and a blanket, handing them to him. âHere you go.â
âWow, you are going all out,â he teased, settling into the couch, clearly enjoying this.Â
âDo I get breakfast too, or is that pushing it?â
âDonât push your luck,â you replied with a mock glare.
âYou can make yourself breakfast. Just donât burn the place down.â
Haechan quietly laughed before getting comfortable on the couch, sinking into the pillows you had brought him. His relaxed posture seemed to shift the atmosphere in the room, making it feel more relaxed.Â
âJust so you know,â he said, propping himself up on one elbow, âthis isnât going to become a regular thing. I have a reputation to uphold.â
âRight, the infamous Haechan, the bad boy who no one can take seriously.â you teased, rolling your eyes as you left to go to your room.
As you closed the door to your room, you leaned against it for a moment, allowing yourself to breathe.
You tossed your phone onto the bed and plopped down beside it. After a moment, you set a timer for the morning, letting exhaustion pull you into sleep.
Morning light filtered through your curtains, you stirred as your alarm beeped. Blinking sleep from your eyes, you stretched and glanced at the clock. You had meant to wake up early, but the memories of last night lingered in your mind, making it hard to move.
You climbed out of bed, the floor cool against your feet, and made your way to the bathroom. After quickly brushing your teeth and throwing on some comfortable clothes, you headed toward the kitchen, the smell of coffee filling the room.
You found the blanket neatly folded on the couch and the pillows stacked up next to it, but no sign of Haechan. A small frown formed on your face. But what did you expect? You werenât friends just because he fought your ex. He said it himself that it wasnât for you. He just wanted an excuse to hit Jay.
Pushing the thought aside, you took a deep breath and focused on getting ready for class. You stepped into your bathroom, splashing your face with cold water to shake off the remnants of sleep. After putting on some makeup and brushing your hair, you throw on a comfortable pair of jeans and an oversized sweater.
As you walked back into your bedroom, you noticed your phone lighting up with a message. You grabbed it, and messages from your friends filled your phone.Â
Chenle: THAT WAS CRAZY!! ARE YOU OKAY??Â
Jaemin: Hey, let me know when youâre home!! <3
Jaemin: You probably fell asleep, let me know when you are awake <3
Jeno: Are you okay? Jaemin and I took care of the problem (âȘ°ââȘŻïŒ
Chaeryeong: I saw you leave with Haehcan!! GURRL YOU NEED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING!!
After a moment, you replied to everyone letting them know you were okay.
With your bag slung over your shoulder. You walked towards campus, your mind still racing with thoughts about Haechan.Â
When you arrived, you navigated through the crowd of students, your mind drifting between the classes you had lined up for the day.Â
As you made your way to your first lecture, you spotted a familiar face across the quad. It was your friend, Chaeryeong, waving enthusiastically. You quickened your pace to meet her.
âY/n! There you are!â she exclaimed, pulling you into a quick hug. âI was starting to think you werenât coming to class!â
âYou know I canât afford to miss a class,â you laugh.
âOkay, Iâve waited enough! Tell me everything!â she said, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as you both walked towards the lecture hall.
You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. âWell, Haechan stayed over last night after everything that happened with Jay.â
Chaeryeong raised her eyebrows, a teasing grin spreading across her face. âOh? Look at you getting cozy with the enemy!â
You rolled your eyes, but couldnât hide your smile. âItâs not like that. I felt bad, dragging him into all of this.â
âHe was always in this,â she said, nudging your shoulder playfully.
You nodded, the weight of her words settling in your mind. âI know, but this doesnât mean we are friends.â
Chaeryeong shook her head, and the two of you entered the lecture hall, finding your seats. As the professor began speaking, you turned to whisper to Chaeryoung, leaning in slightly to keep your conversation discreet.Â
âLetâs not tell the guys about me going home with Haechan... I donât want them to get the wrong idea.â
Chaeryoung nodded and turned back to focus on the lecture.Â
âIâm going to go eat something, I didnât get to have breakfast,â you said, rubbing your stomach lightly to emphasize your point.Â
âYouâre so lucky to have a break between classesâ Chaeryoung groaned, âI have two more classes before I can even get food.âÂ
âYouâre the one that wanted all morning classesâÂ
âYeah because the night is for parting not for studying.â Chaeryoung rolled her eyes.Â
You shoved her playfully before splitting up and heading towards the cafĂ© and sitting in the same spot you did last time.Â
âOkay, you have to stop stealing my spot,â an annoyingly familiar voice said, breaking your focus from the menu. You looked up to find Haechan standing there, an amused smile on his face.
You raised an eyebrow, faking annoyance. âStill doesnât have your name on it. This is a public cafĂ©.â
âSure, but you know itâs my favorite spot,â he retorted, sliding into the seat next to you. âI always sit here to people-watch between classes.ââ
You couldnât help but laugh at his mock-serious expression. âI donât care right now, Iâm starving.âÂ
He chuckled, glancing at the menu before leaning back in his chair. âWhat are you getting?.â
âI was thinking about a bagel and some coffee,â you replied, glancing over the options again.
âBoring,â he declared dramatically, shaking his head. âGet the avocado toast. Itâs amazing here.â
You rolled your eyes. âSo you can steal it? Youâre not even hiding your motives.â
He shrugged, an innocent look plastered on his face. âWhat can I say? I have exquisite taste.â
âExquisite taste?â you repeated, unable to suppress a laugh. âThatâs a big word for you.â
âYouâre supposed to be nicer to me now!â he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. âI did rescue you from that jerk, remember?â
âRescue is a strong word,â you countered, trying to keep a straight face. âYou threw a punchâŠ.and then I had to pull you away.â
âDetails, details,â he said, waving a hand dismissively.
You leaned back in your chair, pretending to consider. âIâll get an order for two avocado toasts.â
âReally?!â he exclaimed, eyes lighting up with excitement.
You gestured for him to get up so you could slide out of the booth. âYeah, but only because youâre annoying and I donât want to hear you complain. But youâre coming with me to order it.â
âYay!â Haechan stood up and followed you to the counter, the playful banter continuing as you both approached the register.
As you placed the order, he leaned against the counter, watching you with a teasing smile. âWhat if I said I wanted extra everything? Youâre still paying?â
You laughed, shaking your head as the barista rang up your order. âIs that all?â
You nodded your head, âYep, thatâs all.â You reached into your pocket for your card, but before you could find it, Haechan pulled out his and handed it to the barista.
âHey, what are you doing?â you protested.
âJust treating you to breakfast,â he said nonchalantly, leaning against the counter as if it was no big deal.Â
âWhy?â You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. âFor what? You were the one who punched my ex, remember?â
âExactly,â he replied with a smirk. âIâve been wanting to mess up his face for a while!â
The barista handed Haechan back his card, and he turned to you with a victorious grin.
You rolled your eyes. âFine, Iâll let you have this one. But only because Iâm starving.â
As you both moved to the side to wait for your order, the door to the café bell rang. You looked to the side and saw it was Jay and his friends.
âShit!â you mumbled under your breath, your stomach sinking as you tried to think of an escape plan.Â
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as Jayâs laughter echoed through the cafĂ©. He spotted you almost immediately, his expression turning sour.
You could see him making his way to you, so you did the only thing that felt like it would hurt him.Â
You grabbed Haechanâs shirt, pulling him closer to you as you leaned in, pressing your lips against his in a quick, aggressive kiss.
Haechan froze for a moment, clearly taken aback. But he quickly recovered, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing you back.Â
The reaction was immediate. Jayâs expression shifted from confusion to fury, his friends exchanging glances as the tension in the room skyrocketed. You could feel Haechan smirking against your lips, clearly enjoying the situation.
As you pulled away, Haechanâs eyes sparkled with mischief. âDidnât know paying for your lunch would make you want to kiss me,â he asked, while a grin tugged at his lips.
âJay is here,â you whispered, low enough so no one else could hear you.Â
Jayâs glare burned into you, and he scoffed, crossing his arms. âYou think thatâs going to make me jealous? Youâre pathetic.â
You felt a rush of boldness. âIf youâre so over it, why do you care?â you shot back, feeling bold because of Haechanâs presence.
Jay opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything further, Haechan stepped in front of you, his posture protective. âYou really should find a new hobby, Jay. This isnât working for you,â he said, his tone calm yet firm.
Jayâs face turned a shade redder, his boldness faltering. âWhatever. I donât need this.â He turned on his heel, storming out with his friends trailing behind, their laughter fading as they exited the cafĂ©.
You let out a breath you didnât realize you were holding, glancing up at Haechan. âHe was so mad.â
Haechan chuckled, his eyes still sparkling with amusement. âI have a plan!â
You raised an eyebrow, skeptical but curious. âOh no, should I be worried?â
âNot at all,â Haechan replied, that mischievous grin still playing on his lips. âBut if you want to make him furious, weâre going to have to turn it up a notch.â
âWhat exactly do you mean by that?â you asked cautiously, folding your arms.Â
âSimple,â he said, leaning in conspiratorially. âWe pretend that we are hooking up. Just for a little while. You know how much itâll eat at him.â
Your eyes widened. âYou canât be serious.â
âWhy not?â Haechan shrugged, clearly enjoying the drama of it all.Â
âItâll be fun. And the look on his face when he realizes youâve completely moved on? Priceless.â
You paused, considering it for a moment. As ridiculous as it sounded, the idea had some appeal. Jay seeing you with someone else, especially Haechan, would drive him nuts. And the more you thought about it, the more tempting it became.
âOkay, letâs say I go along with this,â you began slowly. âWhatâs in it for you?â
Haechanâs grin widened. âI get to have the time of my life watching Jay go insane.â
You rolled your eyes but couldnât help the small smile that crept onto your face. âI donât knowâŠâ
âCome on, itâs genius,â Haechan said, leaning back against the counter with a self-satisfied smirk. â
Weâll be the hottest âcoupleâ in the room, and Jay wonât know what hit him.â
You bit your lip, still hesitant but intrigued by the idea. âFine,â you finally said. âBut donât get any ideas. This is strictly for show.â
Haechan held up his hands in mock surrender. âOf course. Strictly business. But trust me, this is going to be fun.â
After finishing lunch with Haechan, you went through the rest of your dayâattending lectures, trying to focus, but your mind kept drifting back to the cafĂ© incident.Â
Haechanâs ridiculous plan echoed in your head, and you couldn't help but replay Jay's angry expression over and over again.
By the time your classes were over, you were mentally exhausted. Having dinner with your friends sounded like a nice break after a hectic day. As you approached the dining hall, you spotted Chaeryeong waving you over to the usual table where the others were already gatheredâJaemin, Jeno, and Chenle.
You slid into the seat next to Chaeryeong, who immediately gave you a curious glance. âSo, how was the rest of your day?â
âEventful,â you said with a sigh.
Jaemin perked up, overhearing the exchange. âEventful?â
You hesitated, not sure how much to share. âJust... ran into Jay and his friends at lunch.â
The table went quiet for a second before Chenle raised an eyebrow. âAnd?â
âAnd... Haechan was there,â you added, not wanting to dive into all the details.
Chenle laughed, breaking the tension. âOh man, I bet that was awkward.â
âYou have no idea,â you muttered, exchanging a glance with Chaeryeong, who seemed to already know there was more to the story.
Jeno, who had been quiet, finally spoke up. âWhat did Haechan do?â
You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could say anything, Jaemin cut in.Â
âWait, waitâare you guys friends now?â
You paused, unsure how to answer that question, especially with Haechanâs ridiculous plan in the back of your mind. âNot... exactly,â you said vaguely.
Jeno looked confused. âWhat does that even mean?â
Chaeryeong, always the perceptive one, smirked slightly but stayed quiet, watching the situation unfold.
You shrugged. âIt just means things are complicated. Letâs just eat.â
But you could tell from the looks on your friends' faces that this wasnât the last youâd hear about Haechan and Jay.
Your phone rang, and you glanced down, spotting Haechanâs name on the screen. You sighed, already bracing yourself for whatever chaos he was about to bring into your life.
âWhat do you want?â you asked as you answered, your voice laced with mock annoyance.
âParty this weekend,â Haechan's voice was full of excitement. âWe need to go! Everyoneâs going to be there.â
You rolled your eyes, even though he couldnât see it. âAnd why, exactly, do I need to go to this party?â
âWhat, you donât want to kiss me again,â he said with a teasing tone. âPlus, everyone is going to be there so itâs perfect.â
You could already imagine him grinning on the other end of the line, fully expecting you to give in. âHaechan, Iâm not exactly in the mood for another party.â
âCome on,â he whined. âItâs not just any party. Jayâs gonna be there.â
âFine, okay,â you finally said, giving in with a sigh. You could practically hear the grin in Haechan's voice.
âPerfect! Iâll pick you up at eight on Friday. Youâre not going to regret it, trust me.â
âIâm already regretting this,â you muttered, but a small part of you was excited. Maybe it wouldnât be so badâif nothing else, youâd get a chance to make Jay uncomfortable, and that was starting to sound more appealing.
âJust make sure youâre ready,â Haechan added. âAnd wear something⊠you know, sexy.â
âSexy?â you repeated skeptically.
âYouâll figure it out,â he said, his tone light and teasing. âSee you then!â
As the call ended, you couldnât help but feel a mix of excitement and unease. This party could either be a disaster or the perfect chance to move on from Jay and get a little revenge. Either way, things were about to get interesting.
The week flew by in a blur of classes, assignments, and quick meals with friends. Before you knew it, Friday had arrived, and you found yourself staring at your closet, trying to figure out what Haechan meant by "something sexy."Â
You groaned, pulling out outfit after outfit, none of them feeling right. Tonight wasnât just any night. If Jay was going to be at this party, you wanted to make him regret cheating on you.
You gave up, settling on a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. As you finished getting ready, you glanced at the time. Almost eight.Â
Just as you applied the finishing touches to your makeup, you heard a knock on your door. Taking one last look in the mirror, you grabbed your jacket and opened the door.
âTook you long enough!â Haechan teased, eyeing your outfit with a dramatic shake of his head.Â
âWhat?â you asked, already sensing the criticism coming.
âThis wonât do,â he said with exaggerated disappointment. Before you could protest, he sighed and gently pushed you back into the house. âWhereâs your closet?â
âHaechan, Iâm not changing!â you called after him as he made a beeline for your bedroom.
âYou are if you want to make everyone jealous,â he insisted, already rummaging through your clothes as if he owned the place. âJeans and a black T-shirt? Come on, Y/n, weâre supposed to be putting on a show.â
You rolled your eyes, half-amused, half-annoyed. âMy outfit doesn't matter.â
He grinned, pulling out a sleek black dress you had tucked away. âThis is perfect.âÂ
You hesitated for a second, glancing at the dress. It was short, definitely not what you had planned, but you had to admit, Haechan had a point.
You sighed, eyeing the dress Haechan held up. âYou canât be serious.â
âOh, Iâm dead serious,â he replied, his grin widening as he shoved the dress into your hands. âCome on, Y/n. You want to show Jay what heâs missing, right?â
You hesitated for a moment longer, looking between Haechan and the dress. You wouldnât ever wear that if you were just going out with your friends. You didnât have the confidence, but Haechan somehow gave you confidence.Â
âFine,â you muttered, rolling your eyes as you snatched the dress from him. âBut if this goes wrong, Iâm blaming you.â
âDeal,â Haechan smirked, plopping down on your bed and crossing his arms. âIâll take full responsibility.â
You disappeared into the bathroom, slipping into the dress and staring at yourself in the mirror. It was outside your usual comfort zone, you couldnât deny you looked good.
Stepping out, you found Haechan waiting, his eyes widening slightly. For a moment, there was no teasing grin, just a flicker of surprise before he quickly masked it.
âSee? Now this is how you get everyoneâs attention,â he said, standing up. âJayâs gonna be so jealous.â
His eyes lingered on you a little too long, and the sudden intenseness made you feel exposed. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to shield the self-consciousness creeping up.Â
Haechan reached out gently, his fingers brushing against your wrists as he pulled your arms away from your body.
âHey, none of that,â he said softly, his voice surprisingly tender. âYou look amazing. Own it.â
You blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his tone. His usual playful arrogance was replaced with something⊠different, almost like he wanted you to feel confident tonight. The teasing smirk was still there, but his eyes held something deeper.
âYou think this is gonna work?â you asked, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest.
Haechan grinned, his usual swagger returning as he let go of your arms. âOh, itâs definitely going to work. Jayâs not going to know what hit him. And more importantly, youâre going to have the best time.â
You took a deep breath, trying to match Haechanâs confidence. âOkay, letâs go before I change my mind.â
âRelax, weâre gonna have fun.â Haechan shot you a wink before opening the door.Â
âTrust me.âÂ
And for some reason, in that moment, you kind of did.Â
The party was in full swing by the time you and Haechan arrived. The music was loud, the lights were flashing, and the air was thick.Â
âHold on for a moment, I need to find Mark really quickâ Haechan immediately disappeared into the crowd, leaving you on your own. You should have known you two wouldnât have stayed together the whole night.Â
You made your way to the kitchen, needing a moment to collect yourself before facing Jay. As you poured yourself a drink, a familiar voice interrupted your thoughts.
âWell, well, well, look who it is.â
You turned to see Jay leaning against the counter, a smug smile on his face. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
âSurprised to see me?â you shot back, taking a sip of your drink.
âNot at all,â Jay replied, his eyes trailing over your figure. âAlthough I must say, this wasnât exactly what I expected.â
âYou donât get to have any expectations,â You snapped, trying to sound confident despite not feeling it. âI wear what I want.âÂ
Jay chuckled, leaning in closer. âYou never wore that when I was with you.â
âPast tense,â you emphasized, setting your drink down with more force than necessary. âThings change, Jay. Clearly.â
His smile paused for a moment before he masked it with a shrug. âFinally got bored of that douchebag.â
âYeah, but I guess he hasnât taken the hint since heâs right here, talking to me.â
Jay's smug expression deepened, but you met his gaze head-on, refusing to back down.Â
âY/N?â His tone was dripping with arrogance. âDo you think Haechan is any better than me? Heâs just having fun with you until he gets bored.â
You felt the sting of his words, but you werenât going to let him get to you. You leaned in slightly, your voice steady.Â
âMaybe. But at least heâs better in bed.â
Jay's jaw tightened, clearly not expecting that response. He opened his mouth to say something, but a voice cut through the tension.
âThis is just sad,â Haechan's voice rang out as he walked over, a cool smirk playing on his lips. âShe already found someone better.â
Jay straightened up, glaring at Haechan, but didnât say anything. The silence between the three of you was heavy, but you could sense that Jay was weighing his options. After a beat, he scoffed and stepped back.
âYouâre not worth my time,â Jay muttered, giving you one last look before turning on his heel and storming out of the kitchen.
As soon as he was gone, you let out a breath you didnât realize you were holding. Haechan gave you a sideways glance, his smirk softening into something almost... concerned.Â
âYou alright?â he asked, leaning casually against the counter as if nothing had happened.
You nodded, still feeling the adrenaline from the confrontation. âYeah, Iâm fine. Thanks.â
Haechan raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. âGood. Because I have a better idea for the rest of the night. Letâs make him regret ever speaking to you.â
You blinked at him, intrigued. âWhat are you planning now?â
Haechan grinned, eyes gleaming with mischief. âYouâll see. But first, we need more drinks to loosen up.â
Haechanâs grin widened as he grabbed two cups from the counter, handing one to you. You hesitated, still feeling the lingering tension from your run-in with Jay, but something about the way Haechan looked at you made it impossible to say no.Â
âLetâs party,â he said, raising his cup.
You clinked your cup against him, taking a sip before following him back into the crowded living room. The music pulsed through the space, people dancing and talking in tight clusters. Haechan was already scanning the room, clearly looking for the next move.
âWhat exactly is this plan of yours?â you asked, trying to read his expression.
He shot you a playful look. âOh, itâs simple. We just need to make it look like weâre having the best time everâtogether. You know, give Jay a little show.â He winked, clearly enjoying himself.
You couldnât help but laugh. âSo, you plan to make Jay jealous again?â
âExactly,â Haechan said, pulling you closer to him as a new song began to play. âLetâs see how he likes watching us have all the fun.â
Before you could protest, Haechan spun you around, guiding you into the makeshift dance floor. The bass vibrated under your feet as he moved effortlessly, a confident smirk still plastered on his face. Despite yourself, you found yourself laughing, his energy contagious. You couldnât deny how easy it was to get swept up in the moment with him.
As the two of you danced, you noticed Jay standing across the room, watching with a clenched jaw. It was clear that Haechanâs plan was working. You caught Jayâs eye for a split second before deliberately looking away, focusing entirely on Haechan. The warmth of his hand on your waist and the way he smiled at you as if no one else mattered, made you forget about everything for a moment.
âSee?â Haechan said, leaning close to your ear, his voice barely audible over the music. âTold you it would work.â
You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Jay pushing his friends away and keeping his eyes on you two, clearly frustrated. You grinned. âMaybe youâre right. But donât let it go to your head.â
Haechan chuckled, spinning you again before pulling you close. âToo late for that.â
Haechan leaned down to whisper in your ear, âAre you ready for the real show?â You nodded as Haechan started to lead you out of the crowd.Â
As Haechan started to lead you up the stairs, your heart was pounding. The noise from the party below faded slightly with each step, leaving just the two of you in a quiet bubble. His hand remained firmly on your hips, his grip surprisingly reassuring despite the teasing smirk still playing on his lips.
âHeâs following us.â Haechan whispered as he led you into a room, purposely leaving the door slightly open.Â
Your heart skipped a beat as Haechan whispered those words, confirming what you had suspected. Jay was trailing behind, just as Haechan had expected.Â
Once inside the dimly lit room, Haechan stood in front of you, his eyes never leaving yours. He motioned for you to stand near the bed, his smirk fading into something more serious, though his playfulness never completely disappeared.
âWe're putting on a show, right?â he murmured, keeping his voice low. "Might as well give him something to really lose his mind over."
Your breath caught in your throat as you processed his words. This whole thing was a gameâone meant to drive Jay crazyâbut there was something in the way Haechan was looking at you now that made it feel a little too real.
The faint sound of footsteps approaching the door pulled you out of your thoughts. Jay was getting closer, tension growing thicker with each passing second.
Without thinking, you took a step toward Haechan. He raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting to see what you would do next.
You reached up, touching the side of his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. His eyes locked with yours, full of unspoken words. At that moment, you knew this was more than just a plan to him.
"You're right," you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. "It's time for the real show."
Haechan's eyes widened slightly at your words, his breath hitching in anticipation. Without another word, you took a step closer and then another, until you were just inches apart. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and it was intoxicating.
As Jay reached the door and saw the two of you so close together, he froze, unable to look away from the scene unfolding before him. It was clear that he had never expected things to go this far.
You felt a surge of adrenaline as you leaned in, closing the gap between you and Haechan. His lips met yours in a rush of heat and urgency.
You felt Haechanâs hands grip your waist and pull you into him even closer, deepening the kiss even more.Â
As your lips moved together, you could sense Haechan's eagerness, his fingers trailing along your skin as if trying to memorize every inch of you.Â
You felt Haechanâs hands grip your waist a little harder than before as he pushed you softly onto the bed.Â
The room seemed to spin around you as Haechan hovered over you, his gaze intense and filled with a raw hunger that sent shivers down your spine. Jay's shocked silence from the doorway only added to the adrenaline.
Haechan's lips trailed down your neck, leaving a trail of kisses as he peppered more along your collarbone.Â
A soft gasp escaped your lips as Haechan's hands roamed over your body.Â
Haechan pulled away slightly to look into your eyes. Once he saw that you werenât uncomfortable, he grabbed the bottom of your dress and moved it up slightly to expose more skin.Â
Haehcan groaned slightly as he saw your panties were starting to get wet.Â
âMmm all for me?â He traced his fingers along the edge of your lace underwear before looking back up at you with a teasing smile that made your heart race even faster than it already was.Â
You nodded slightly in response and bit your lower lip nervously.
âUse your words, princess. Haechan murmured, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
"Yes," you whispered, your voice barely audible above a murmur. "All for you."
The words sent a wave of pleasure through Haechan's body as he leaned down, his lips just brushing against your neck, sending more chills down your spine.Â
"Youâre such a good girl for me," Haechan growled, his voice low with lust.
Before you could respond, he pulled your dress up further, exposing even more of your body completely to him. His eyes lingered on your panties for a moment before he pulled them aside, gently tracing the outer edges of your folds with his finger.Â
A soft moan escaped your lips as Haechanâs finger brushed against your sensitive skin.Â
âFuck, Haechan,â you whispered, your voice shaky.
Haechan smirked, his eyes never leaving yours.
He leaned down, slowly tracing his tongue along the outline of your panties before pulling them off completely.Â
You shivered as he gently blew on your heated skin.
âYou ready?â Haechan murmured, his voice low and seductive.
You couldnât speak, could barely breathe, but you nodded quickly, desperate for more of his touch.
Haechan gently pushed your legs apart, revealing yourself to him completely. He stared at you for a moment, taking in every detail of your aroused body before leaning down to kiss your inner thigh.
His lips were warm and soft, sending shivers through you with every touch. As he trailed kisses higher and higher, your breath hitched.
A soft moan escaped from between your lips as Haechan's tongue flicked against the sensitive lips. He continued to tease you, his touch never quite reaching the place you desperately wanted him to be.
You squirmed beneath him, desperate for his touch, but he refused to give in. The teasing was almost unbearable. Your heart raced as you felt him moving closer, but still, he denied you.
Finally, just when you thought you couldn't take it any longer, Haechan pushed your legs further apart and dove between them without holding back. His tongue danced across your heated skin as he explored every inch of you.
Your back arched off the bed as you felt him start to get hard on your leg. You threw your head back, gasping for air as a wave of pleasure hit you.
Haechan continued, his tongue never faltering in its job to bring you to a place of pleasure. You felt amazing.Â
It wasn't long before the pleasure became too much to bear. A strong climax exploded through you.Â
You moaned his name, the sound echoing through the room as you came apart in his arms, your entire body shaking uncontrollably.
Once your body has relaxed, your breaths came in ragged gasps as you tried to catch your breath.Â
Haechan laid beside you, his eyes locked on your face as he continued to pant softly.
As you came back down to earth you got up from the bed, making Haechan sit up to watch what you were doing.Â
You got onto your knees right in front of him.
"Now itâs your turn," you said softly, your eyes meeting his. You could see the hunger in Haechan's eyes, causing you to squeeze your thighs together.
Haechan raised an eyebrow, a hint of mischief lurking in his expression.Â
As he sat there, his gaze locked on yours, he slowly undid his jeans, letting them fall to the floor.Â
You couldn't help but gaze at him as he stood there before you, every inch of him screaming for your touch.Â
Your heart raced as you reached out to touch him, your fingers tracing a path down his chest and onto his stomach.
He shivered as your touch reached his stomach, but he didn't stop you. You continued to explore every inch of him, your fingers tracing the definition of his muscles, feeling the heat radiating from his skin.
As you reached the waistband of his boxers, you hesitated for a moment, uncertainty playing in your mind. But Haechan's eyes never left yours, urging you on.
With a deep breath, your hand dipped beneath the waistband, your fingers brushing against him. A soft moan escaped his lips, his eyes flickering shut for a moment before he opened them again, meeting yours once more.
You wrapped your hand around him gently, feeling him grow harder in your grasp. The warmth from him was intoxicating.Â
As you began to stroke him slowly, his eyes searched yours.Â
With a soft nod, you conveyed your permission through your eyes. And Haechan's gaze darkened, and his hunger became more pronounced. He reached out and slid your dress up and off, his fingers tracing down your arms as he removed it.
As the garment fell away, Haechan pulled you closer and gently moved your hair away from his face.Â
You moved closer to him as you licked the tip of his length.Â
Haechan let out a soft groan as your tongue flicked against him. You took him into your mouth slowly, savoring the taste of him. Haechan's eyes fluttered shut as you moved your tongue.Â
Haechan let out a small gasp as he hit the back of your throat, enjoying every second of it. You swirl your tongue around him.
He watched you intently, his eyes drinking at the sight of you on your knees before him, your hair falling down your back.
You lapped at him gently, your tongue tracing circles around his head. Haechan's hands gripped your hair tight, his knuckles turning white as he tried to hold onto something in this moment.
As you felt him start to thrust into your mouth, you took him deeper, your throat contracting around him as he began to lose control.
Haechan groaned loudly, his hands gripping your hair tighter, pulling you deeper into himself. His hips bucked uncontrollably, every muscle in his body tense as he was looking for his release.
You could feel his arousal growing more intense within your grasp. The sight of Haechan losing control above you sent shivers down your spine.
Finally, with a loud groan, Haechan thrust deep into your throat, a wave of pleasure washing over him as he came.Â
You felt his hot seed fill your throat, and the sensation was overwhelming.
Your body shook as Haechan's release flooded your senses, and you savored every moment of it. As he began to soften, you gently withdrew from him, the evidence of what happened dripping from your lips.
Haechan's eyes fluttered open, and he pulled you into his arms, his mind blurred with pleasure. He kissed you deeply, his tongue tracing the contours of your mouth, tasting himself on you.
As the two of you pulled away from each other you looked at the door and noticed Jay was gone. Not even noticing that he left.
You exchanged a knowing look with Haechan, both of you smiling. It seemed like the plan worked.Â
As you disentangled yourselves from each other, Haechan glanced down at your still-dripping lips. "We should probably clean up," he said, his voice low and husky.
You nodded, feeling heat in your cheeks as you headed back to the bathroom that was connected to the room.
As you cleaned up, you couldn't help but start to feel a little embarrassed. But Haechan's gentle touch and reassuring words made you feel at ease once again. He helped you clean up, his hands moving gently over your body as he wiped away the evidence of what just happened.
As the water ran into the sink, the two of you stood close, your eyes meeting in the mirror above.Â
When you were finished cleaning up, Haechan led you back to the bed, making sure to shut the door this time before making himself comfortable in bed. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. You could feel his heart beating against your back, his breath warm on your neck.
"Get some sleep," he whispered, his voice barely a murmur.
âWe canât stay here.â You whispered back, your voice laced with a hint of anxiety.
Haechan's arms tightened around you, his grip comforting and reassuring. âItâs Markâs room, I already asked if we could use it.â
You sighed, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. It wasn't the most ideal situation, but it was better than going home this tired.
As you snuggled closer to Haechan, you felt a sense of peace wash over you.
"Thank you," you hum.
Haechan whispered back, âShhh donât thank me."
Soon after, the two of you fell into a deep sleep, wrapped up in each other's arms and drifting off to the sound of each other's breathing. And as you slept, the two of you knew that whatever was going on between you just got a lot more serious.
As you slumped into your seat at the dining hall, Chenle grinned at you from across the table. âWhy do you look like you just went through hell?â
You glared at him. âThanks, Chenle. Needed that today.â
Before you could respond, Jaemin chimed in with a smug look. âShe went to Markâs party last night.â
Your eyes widened, taken aback by how he knew. âWait, how did youâ?â
âLife360,â Jaemin said, cutting you off with a proud grin. âI check everyoneâs location before I go to sleep.â
You groaned, rubbing your temples. âOf course you do.â
Chaeryeong, who had been quietly listening, suddenly leaned forward, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. âHold upâŠare we just going to ignore the fact that you went to Markâs party without us?â
You sighed, already sensing the upcoming interrogation. âGuys, itâs not a big dealââ
âPlease tell me you didnât go with Jay!â Jaemin interjected, shaking his head like he couldnât even believe it.
âNo!â you snapped back, fed up with hearing his name.
âThen who?â Jeno asked, leaning in with curiosity.
You hesitated, looking around the table before mumbling, âHaechanâŠâ
The silence that followed was loud. Chaeryeongâs jaw dropped while Chenle and Jeno exchanged glances. Jaemin was the first to break the silence, raising an eyebrow.
 âHaechan? Seriously?â
The table went silent again, all eyes turning to you as your last word hung in the air.
âHaechan?â Chaeryeong echoed, leaning forward with a mischievous grin. âYou went to a party with Haechan and didnât tell us?â
You groaned, running a hand over your face. âIt wasnât like that.â
Chenle smirked, clearly entertained. âI donât know⊠going to a party together, leaving us out of the loopâseems kinda suspicious.â
You groaned again, feeling their eyes on you like a shot light.Â
âItâs not what you think!â
âThen you better start explaining,â Chaeryeong said, crossing her arms. âBecause we all know how this sounds.â
âI didnât even plan to go! He convinced me at the last minute,â you defended yourself, glancing around the table. âAnd then Jay showed up, so Haechan⊠helped me avoid him.â
Jeno let out a small laugh. âSo Haechan was your knight in shining armor, again?â
âOh, please.â You rolled your eyes. âHe just wanted to mess with Jay. It wasnât about me.â
âStill,â Chaeryeong leaned in, lowering her voice dramatically, âDid you spend the night with him?â
Instead of responding, you groaned and buried your face in your hands, too exhausted to deal with the flood of questions.
Chaeryeong gasped dramatically. âOh my God! You did sleep with him, didnât you?!â
Your head snapped up, eyes wide. âI promise it was all part of a plan!â
Jaemin raised an eyebrow, skeptical. âA plan? What kind of plan involves you sleeping with Haechan?â
Chenle leaned forward, clearly intrigued. âYeah, Iâm dying to hear this one.â
You sighed, rubbing your temples. âWe knew Jay would hate it, okay? It wasnât supposed to mean anything.â
Chaeryeongâs eyes widened even more. âWaitâSo how did Jay know you two slept together?!â
âWellâ um, he was right outside the doorâŠâÂ
Chaeryeongâs jaw practically dropped to the floor. âWait. Wait. Jay heard you two through the door?!â
You squirmed in your seat, feeling the weight of everyoneâs stares. âNot just heard us...â
Jaemin sighed, running a hand through his hair. âHe watched you two have sex?!â
Chenle, grinning like a Cheshire cat. âI didnât know you were into that,â
âIâm not!â You tried to defend yourself, âand it wasnât even full-on sex!âÂ
Chenle let out a high-pitched laugh, and Jeno shook his head, âLet me get this straightâŠYou gave Haechan a blowjob while Jay was watchingâŠâÂ
âI mean if you put it like that it sounds weirdâŠâÂ
Chaeryeong gasped dramatically, covering her mouth with both hands, her eyes wide with shock and amusement. âOh my God, Y/n!â
You groaned, burying your face in your hands again. âIt wasnât like that!â you tried to explain, your voice muffled by your hands. âIt just⊠happened!â
Chenle was practically doubled over with laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. âHonestly, this is the best thing Iâve heard all week.â
Jeno sighed, trying to hold back his grin. âOkay, but seriously, what are you going to do now? You canât just pretend nothing happened.â
You nodded, biting your lip. âI know.â
Jaemin looked at you sympathetically, his voice softer now. âDo you like him?â
You took a deep breath and didnât answer.Â
The table fell silent, everyone waiting for your response. You could feel their eyes on you, especially Jaemin, as he leaned in slightly, waiting for you to speak.
Finally, you exhaled, avoiding their gazes. âI donât know,â you admitted, your voice quieter than usual.
 âItâs all so confusing. I didnât expect any of this to happen, and now⊠I donât know how I feel.â
Chaeryeong, always the first to jump in, sighed dramatically. âWell, if you donât know, thatâs already saying something. Maybe thereâs more to this than you think.â
Chenle, now composed from his earlier laughing fit, added, âHonestly if it was just to get back at Jay, you wouldnât be this torn up about it.â
Jeno nodded in agreement. âHeâs right. Youâve got to figure out if this was just a one-time thing or if thereâs something between you and Haechan.â
Jaemin stayed quiet, his eyes searching for yours. âItâs okay to not have all the answers yet,â he said gently. âBut donât ignore how youâre feeling just because itâs complicated.â
You groaned, âIâm just going to pretend like nothing happened and avoid him.âÂ
The group groaned in unison, making you roll your eyes.
âThatâs what we said not to do, Y/n,â Jeno said, shaking his head. âYou canât just avoid the guy forever.â
Chaeryeong crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. âAnd you know Haechan. Heâs not exactly the type to let things go.â
Chenle leaned forward, grinning mischievously. âPlus, avoiding him will just make him chase you even more.â You sighed, slumping in your chair.
Jaemin gave you a soft smile, his eyes kind. âWhatever you decide, weâre here for you. Just⊠donât run away from it. If you need time, take it, but donât bury your feelings.â
You nodded, feeling the weight of their advice. âOkay, fine. Iâll talk to him⊠eventually.â
The group exchanged knowing looks, but no one pushed you further. At least, not yet.
Itâs settled, you're going to avoid him. But of course, that didnât go as smoothly as you hoped. Every time you tried to slip past him, he somehow spotted you first. It became a game of cat and mouse.
The awkwardness grew with each interaction, especially when youâd catch his eyes from across a room and immediately turn to flee. And as if that werenât bad enough, your phone wouldnât stop buzzing. Texts, missed calls, even voice messages. Haechan was relentless.
âY/n, can we talk? This is ridiculous.â
âAvoiding me isnât gonna make this disappear.â
âAt least hear me out before running.â
You groaned every time your phone lit up with his name. The tension built up so much that even your friends were getting fed up with your avoidance tactic.
âI told you he wouldnât just drop it,â Chenle teased, scrolling through his phone as you sat together in the library.
Jaemin, who was sitting next to you, gave a gentle nudge. âYou canât keep this up forever, Y/n.â
You knew they were right, but the idea of actually facing Haechanâafter everythingâfelt overwhelming. What would you even say? What did he want to say? The questions kept swirling in your mind, making it harder to act.
A small cough interrupted your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. You glanced up to see Haechan standing a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest and a determined look on his face. The library was quiet, and it felt like the world had paused at that moment.Â
âHow?â You looked back at your two friends who tried not to make eye contact with you.
âTraitorsâŠâ You mumbled.
âCan we talk?â he asked, his voice steady but it was laced with a hint of vulnerability.
You felt your heart race, the urge to run was almost overwhelming. âNot here,â you managed to reply, glancing nervously at your friends who were pretending to be absorbed in their work.
Haechan stepped closer, lowering his voice. âIâm not trying to make this awkward, but avoiding me isnât helping either. Can we go outside? Just for a minute?â
You hesitated, torn between wanting to confront your feelings and wanting to run away. The library felt suffocating, and with each passing moment, it seemed you had no choice but to face the situation head-on.
âFine,â you said, the word slipping out before you could second-guess yourself. You stood up, feeling your friendsâ eyes on you as you walked past Haechan and out of the library.
Once outside, the crisp air hit you, momentarily clearing your head. Haechan followed closely, and you turned to face him, arms crossed defensively.
âWhat do you want?â you asked, trying to sound braver than you felt.
âI want to explain,â he said, his expression earnest.
âWhat happened that night⊠it wasnât just a plan to get back at your ex for me.â
You swallowed hard, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze. âThen what was it?â you challenged, unwilling to let him off the hook so easily.
âIt was confusing. Youâre confusing,â he replied, running a hand through his hair in frustration. âBut I canât stop thinking about you. I miss youâŠâ
His words hung in the air between you, heavy. You felt your heart flutter despite your better judgment. âOne chance,â you said finally, your voice steady but low.Â
âYou get one chance.â
Haechanâs eyes widened slightly, surprise flickering across his features. âOne chance? Thatâs it?â he asked, his tone a mix of disbelief and hope.
âYeah,â you nodded, crossing your arms defiantly.Â
He took a step closer, âAll I need is one date, and you will be hooked,â he stated, a confident smirk playing on his lips.
You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. âIs that so? You think itâll be that easy to impress me?â
He leaned in slightly, a teasing glint in his eyes. âI know it will be.â
You couldnât help but feel a spark of curiosity at his challenge. âAnd what if you canât?â
âI will,â he replied, his tone turning serious, âMeet me at my apartment tonight around seven.â
âTonight?â you echoed.
âI canât wait any longer,â Haechan responded, determination clear on his face.
âWhat do you have planned?â you asked, trying to mask your excitement with nonchalance.
Haechan smirked, a spark of mischief dancing in his eyes. âYouâll just have to trust me. I promise itâll be fun.â
âFun? Sounds like youâre setting the bar pretty high,â you challenged, trying to maintain your composure.
âTrust me,â he repeated, his voice low and enticing. âIâll make it unforgettable.â
You bit your lip, fighting the urge to smile. âFine, But if this goes bad, Iâm blaming you.â
âDeal,â he said, his grin widening. âJust be ready at seven. Iâll pick you up.â
âThought I was supposed to meet you there,â you teased, raising an eyebrow.
âYeah, but Iâm a gentleman,â he replied, his voice smooth and confident, a playful twinkle in his eyes.
You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your smile. âA gentleman, huh? I didnât know you had it in you.â
âOnly for you,â he shot back, leaning in a little closer.
âOkay, Mr. Gentleman. Just remember, Iâm expecting something impressive,â you challenged, crossing your arms.
âTrust me, you wonât be disappointed,â he promised, his tone sincere.
Haechan stepped back, breaking the moment slightly.Â
âJust focus on being ready. Iâll take care of the rest.â
âFine. Seven it is,â you agreed, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves racing through you.
âPerfect,â he said, a playful spark in his eyes. âIâll see you then.â
As the hours went by, you kept yourself busy getting ready. You were excited, yet you still felt a little sick from your anxiety. You didnât know what to expect.Â
By seven oâclock, you stood in front of the mirror, nerves filling your stomach. After applying the final touches of makeup, you gave yourself one last look.
A knock on the door startled you from your thoughts. Taking a deep breath before opening the door.
Haechan stood there, looking effortlessly handsome in a fitted shirt and jeans. âWow, you look incredible,â he said, his eyes full of aweÂ
âThanks,â you replied, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. âSo, whatâs the plan?â
âTaking you back to my place,â he said with a playful smirk, extending his hand to you. âLetâs go.â
âAs you walked together, the playful banter made it feel comfortable, just like it had before everything changed.â
Once you reached Haechanâs apartment, two guys walked out, exchanging casual greetings with him as they passed.
âWho were they?â you asked, curiosity growing.
âJust my roommates,â Haechan replied, âThe tall one is Jisung, and the short one is Renjun.â
You nodded, glancing at the duo. Jisung gave you a friendly wave while Renjun shot you a playful grin before they disappeared down the hall and leaving you two alone.
âCome on in,â Haechan said, leading you inside. The apartment was cozy, decorated with posters and fairy lights that created a warm atmosphere. In the middle of the living room stood a makeshift pillow fort, complete with blankets draped over furniture and twinkling lights strung inside.
âNo way, You remembered?â you asked, a laugh escaping your lips as you took in the sight.
Haechan shrugged, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. âOf course, we used to always make pillow forts as a kid.â
You couldnât help but smile at the nostalgic sight. âI canât believe you went through the trouble of making a pillow fort just for me,â you said, stepping further inside.
Haechan grinned. âI thought it would be fun. Plus, who doesnât love a good pillow fort?â
âTrue,â you replied, chuckling. âIâm already impressed.â
He led you inside the fort, where soft cushions and blankets awaited. The twinkling lights added a magical touch, casting a warm glow around the space. Haechan settled down next to you, leaning back against the pillows.
âSo, whatâs the plan?â you asked, eager to know what he had in store for the evening.
âWell,â he began, leaning in closer, âI thought we could watch some movies, eat snacks, and just relax. But first, I have a little surprise for you.â
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. âA surprise?â
He reached into a nearby bag and pulled out a couple of your favorite snacks. âI know how much you love these!â he said, grinning as he held them up.
Your heart swelled at the thoughtful gesture. âYou went all out, didnât you?â
Haechan shrugged. âI try. Now, letâs pick a movie. Any preferences?â
You glanced at the selection he had lined up on his laptop. âHow about a rom-com?â you suggested, feeling playful.
âPerfect choice,â he said, clicking on a title that caught your eye. As the opening credits rolled, you both settled in, the cozy atmosphere making you feel at ease.
Throughout the movie, you find yourself laughing and stealing glances at Haechan. He seemed so relaxed and in his element, and you couldnât help but feel a warmth growing between you.
As the film reached an over the top romantic scene, you felt your heart race. Haechan turned to you, his gaze searching yours.Â
âWhat do you think?â
âItâs cute,â you replied, trying to hide your flustered state. âBut a little unrealistic.â
He chuckled softly. âYeah, like how they always seem to have the perfect timing for their big moments.â
âExactly! Who gets interrupted right before a kiss?â you joked, shaking your head.
âMaybe we should test it,â he suggested, his voice dropping to a softer tone.
You looked at him, your breath hitching slightly. âWhat do you mean?â
Instead of answering, Haechan leaned in closer, the distance between you closing. Your heart raced as he brushed his thumb across your cheek, his eyes locking onto yours.
âCan I?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your stomach flipped, and you nodded, unsure if you could speak.
Haechan closed the gap, pressing his lips against yours softly. The kiss was gentle at first, but as you melted into the moment, it deepened.
When he pulled back, a playful smile danced on his lips.Â
âSee, no one interrupted us.â
You couldnât help but grin back, feeling giddy. âYou just interrupted your own kissââ
"I guess I did," Haechan replied.
"So much for perfect timing." You teased.Â
Haechan's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Maybe we need more practice," he suggested, his tone light but laced with his usual teasing.
You felt your cheeks warm, torn between giving in to the moment and addressing the elephant in the room.
"Haechan," you started, your voice soft but serious,
"What are we doing here? Is this just... fun for you?"
His expression sobered, and he took your hand in his, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your skin. "It's not just fun," he said, his gaze intense. "I meant what I said earlier. I can't stop thinking about you, Y/n. This... us... it means something to me."
Your heart raced at his words, but doubt still lingered. "But what about before? The plan, getting back at my ex..."
Haechan sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "I know how it looked. At first, maybe it was about that. But somewhere along the way, it became real for me. You became real for me."
You searched his face, looking for any sign of insincerity. "And now?"
"Now," he said, leaning closer, "I want to see where this goes. For real this time. No games, no plans. Just us."
The sincerity in his voice made your breath hitch. You found yourself leaning in. "Just us," you echoed, your lips mere inches from his.
Haechan closed the distance, capturing your lips in a kiss that was deeper, more passionate than the first. You melted into it, your hand finding its way to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.
When you finally broke apart, both slightly breathless, Haechan rested his forehead against yours. "So," he murmured, a smile playing on his lips, "Am I living up to my promise of an unforgettable night?"
You couldn't help but laugh, the tension from earlier dissolving into a warm, giddy feeling. "It's a good start," you teased, your fingers tracing patterns on the back of his neck. "But you still have a lot of work to do."
Haechan grinned, pulling back slightly to meet your gaze.
"Challenge accepted," he said with a smirk.
You watched as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
Your heart pounded in your chest, wondering what surprise he had in mind next. "What are you doing?â
"You'll have to wait and see," Haechan replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes that had you both anxious and excited to find out.
As Haechan's whispers trailed off, you couldn't help but feel excited. Your heart raced in your chest, and you knew that whatever he had in mind, it was sure to be unforgettable.
He began trailing kisses down your neck, his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, pulling it off and over your head. The sensation sent a shiver through your body, leaving you breathless and wanting more.
Your hands found their way to his back, drawing him closer as his lips continued their trail down your body.
His fingers grazed the delicate skin of your stomach, making you shiver beneath his touch. He pulled back slightly, his gaze locked with yours, and you knew he was contemplating your next move. You saw the desire in his eyes, and you couldn't help but feel aroused and eager to continue.
His hands drifted downwards, tracing the curve of your hips before gently tugging at your pants. He looked up at you again, seeking permission with his eyes. You nodded, giving him the green light to continue.
As Haechan's fingers danced beneath the waistband of your pants, you couldnât help but let out a small whine. This was real.
His hands slid beneath your waistband, pulling your pants down slowly, revealing more and more of your skin to him. He kissed his way down your body, his mouth leave a trail of wet kisses.
His fingers trailed along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.
He leaned in to kiss you again, his lips soft and demanding, and you responded him with equal passion. You could feel him get harder through the fabric of his clothes, and it made you even wetter.
You pawed at his clothes, silently telling him to take them off.Â
Haechan followed your cues, his movements quick as he tugged off his shirt, revealing the toned muscles of his chest and stomach. You couldn't help but moan at the sight. He then unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and let them slide down his legs, stepping out of them.
You stared at him in awe, your eyes locked onto him. His eyes caught yours and a smirk formed on his face. "Miss seeing me like this?" he asked teasingly.
"Mmmh," you replied breathlessly, your gaze traveling from his perfectly toned chest to the definition of his stomach, and finally to the hard bulge in his boxers.
Haechan chuckled and stepped out of the rest of his clothing, standing before you completely naked.
Without another word, he pulled you close to him, his erection pressing against your thigh. You could feel the heat radiating from him, the desire that kept growing with each passing second. It was intoxicating, and you felt yourself getting lost in it.
Haechan's hands found their way to your waist, pulling you even closer as he began to grind against you. The sensation was so good, and you could feel your body responding to his touch.
His lips found yours once again, slipping his tounge in your mouth.Â
His hands moved lower, his fingers finding their way between your legs, teasing your already wet folds. You gasped into his kiss, your body arching towards him.
His fingers explored deeper inside you. You could feel his erection pressing against you, begging to be inside you.
"Are you ready for me?" he groaned, his breath warm against your skin.Â
"Yes," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm ready."
Without another moment of hesitation, Haechan positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock rubbing against your sensitive skin. You let out a moan as he teased you.Â
He slowly pressed inside you, every inch of him filling you up. His eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the tip of his cock stretching you open, a feeling of fullness.
"Are you alright?" he asked, concern lacing each word.
"Perfect," you gasped, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer.
Haechan began to move, his hips thrusting into you with a rhythm that matched your own breathing.
Your hands clawed at his back, holding him close as he moved within you. The sound of his name falling from your lips was like music to his ears- a sound he never wanted to end.
Sweat began to trickle down Haechan's forehead, and the muscles in his arms tensed as he held you close to him.Â
As he thrust deeper into you, the walls of your body clenched around him, pulling him closer. His breath grew heavier, and he grabbed your face to look at him.Â
Your moans grew louder. The sounds of wet flesh meeting flesh filled the air, joining together with the hurried gasps and heavy breathing.
Your hips met his, matching his rhythm. You could feel your climax building.Â
"Donghyuck," you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so close."
The use of his real name felt different, he felt almost primal as he growled in your ear. "That's it. Come for me baby."
As your body began to tremble, an intense wave of pleasure washing over you, Haechan thrust into you with a faster pace. His eyes locked on yours, he groaned, his jaw clenching as he fought to hold back his own release.
"I'mâI'm close too," he gasped, his eyes almost black from the pleasure.
The sound of your name falling from his lips made you feel like you were on the edge of the world. Your body shook as your climax hit its peak.
Just the sight of you orgasming sent Haechan over the edge. With a final thrust, he pulled out and came all over your stomach, painting you with his cum.
Breathless and panting, you watched as he collapsed beside you, his breathing ragged and uneven. You could feel the slickness of your arousal, mixed with his cum, coating your skin
âLetâs get you all cleaned up.â Haechan pulled away and planted a kiss on your forehead.
After cleaning up, you and Haechan settled back into the cozy pillow fort. The twinkling lights cast a warm glow as you cuddled close, wrapped in soft blankets. A comfortable silence fell between you.
Haechan gently took your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. His eyes met yours, filled with warmth and a hint of nervousness.
"Y/N," he began softly, "tonight has been amazing. Being with you like this, it just feels right. I know we started this in an unconventional way, but my feelings for you are real."
Your heart fluttered as he continued, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand.
"I don't want this to be just one night. I want to build something real with you, to see where this could go." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Would you be my girlfriend?"
A smile spread across your face, warmth blooming in your chest. "Yes," you replied, squeezing his hand. "I'd love to be your girlfriend."
Haechan's face lit up with joy. He pulled you closer, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Round two?" he murmured, holding in his laugh as you slapped his chest.Â
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The Ruined Apothecary
Remus Lupin x feisty fem!reader who reconnect after Hogwarts
CW: chronic pain, Remus uses a mobility aid, financial insecurity, fluff/banter
A/N: I think this was a request from @maladaptiveescapism like eons ago about feisty reader who runs into Remus prior to a full moon post Hogwarts and somehow knows what Remus needs unprompted
Remus hated shopping in Diagon Alley for a number of reasons.
One, he hated running into people from Hogwarts â and the chances of such happening were quite high due to how small the Wizarding community was.
Two, he never could keep track of who was aware of his status as a werewolf and who didnât, and more importantly, who took issue with his status.
But what he hated most of all was coming to Diagon Alley this close to the full moon on account of the two aforementioned reasons.
Unfortunately, Remus had left it too late to restock his medicine and potions cabinet, and he was out of dittany, valerian root, and pain potions; all things he couldnât find for himself in the muggle world, and though he knew his friends would be more than happy to run these errands for him, he was tired of relying on them.
So, he put on a beanie and his denim jacket, a pair of ratty old converse and grabbed the cane that Sirius had insisted Remus let him buy for him because âit has moons on it!â and hobbled through Diagon Alley towards the discount Apothecary he hoped wasnât out of stock of the common post-moon essentials.
âLupin?â He heard from behind him, causing him to groan internally.Â
He could pretend he hadnât heard them, though, there was still a way out of this.
âOh, come now, I know you heard me.â He heard the voice again.
So much for that plan.
Remus reluctantly turned towards the voice, only to be accosted by the beautiful image you painted, standing in the middle of Diagon Alley looking exactly like you had at school, but somehow more beautiful.
Remus hated that.
âL/N?â He asked, raising a hand in hello. To Remusâ absolute horror, you began moving towards him.
âWow, I rarely get to see you around these parts. Iâd say that makes me sad, but you and your friends were never a welcome sight back at school.â You jested, looking Remus up and down.
It took everything in him not to try to hide from your piercing gaze.
âOh, Iâm sure you see James and Sirius around enough for the lot of us.â
You laughed at that â Remus wasnât sure heâd ever heard you laugh; certainly not back in school, and certainly not on account of anything he had said.
âWell, it gets a little boring around these parts sometimes; your lot would help keep some of these tosser shopkeeps on their toes I reckon.â You spat, glaring menacingly at a particular elderly shopkeep - who was very clearly eavesdropping on your conversation - causing them to hastily re-enter their establishment.
âSoddinâ no good Gwendolyn.â You grumbled, still staring daggers towards the offending shop. Remus felt his cheeks flame when his laugh turned into a coughing fit on account of his ribs stretching in preparation for the moon.Â
You looked him over once again with a perceptive gaze that made Remus feel like he was standing naked in the middle of Diagon Alley.
Heâd had that dream once before; didnât much care for it.
âWhereâre you headed?â You asked then, appearing for all intents and purposes like you were making casual conversation, though Remus knew better.Â
âJust running some errands.â He offered noncommittally, and some of that feisty witch he remembered from back in school made an appearance as you narrowed your eyes at him.Â
âReally?â You sneered at him. âI rather thought you were here to work on your tan.â
Remus - the dumb sod - actually looked up at the sky as if wondering if that was a good enough excuse to go by, only to be met with the familiar overcast sky that the UK typically wore.
âWhat errands, Lupin?â You asked again, and some of that heat from your sarcasm seemed to dissipate from your tone as your gaze turned softer.
âThe Apothecary.â Remus admitted, not having the energy nor the patience to lie to you.
Your face grew into a wide grin at that, and he once again tried to remember if heâd ever seen you smile before; certainly not at him.
âWell why didnât you just say so? I own an Apothecary, you know?âÂ
And he did know which was why heâd never been before.
Heâd never been before because the ingredients heâd procured and the frequency of which he procured them would give away his status to one who didnât already know it. It was admittedly easier having some middle-aged shopkeep who didnât know him - and thus didnât give a thestrals arse about what Remus was - dispense his ingredients than someone who he went to school with.
The other reason heâd never been before was that he was quite certain heâd never be able to afford your prices.
But you were already walking away from him as if you were expecting him to follow.
âIt was nice seeing you!â He tried to dismiss you as he turned to walk the other way.Â
âOh, I donât think so, Lupin.â He heard you call as you turned back towards him. âMy shopâs this way.âÂ
Remus let out a sigh as he stared you down defiantly.Â
He didnât want to go to your shop. He didnât want you to know what ingredients he needed for the potions and medical care he required every month. He also didnât want to have to ask you in the end if he could come back and pay for the rest of his tab on payday, nor did he want to empty his wallet in one shop.
But his hip was killing him, his fingers were gripping the handle of his cane painfully, and you were standing there staring at him with your eyes and your looks and your gorgeousness and fucking dammit.Â
Heâd have to stop by Gringotts on his way out and see if they provide lines of credit.Â
Your shop wasâŠ.absolutely nothing like he expected it to be.
Donât get him wrong, it definitely looked like a Slytherin owned and operated it, what with its deep jewel-toned walls, dark stained wood shelves, desks, and furniture, and the low-hanging ceiling that saw various plants, dried arrangements, and⊠crystals? hanging from it.Â
âWhatâs with that face, Lupin?â You asked him from behind the desk, alerting him to the fact that he was standing in the middle of your shop staring at the ceiling with a look of pure discombobulation.Â
âAre thoseâŠcrystals?â He asked as he made his way, albeit slowly, towards your counter.Â
You looked up at the ceiling as if noticing them for the first time. âAh, yes; those would be Pandoraâs doing. Something about the wrackspurts or what not, I couldnât tell you.â You explained flippantly. âShe offers tea leaf readings on Saturdayâs if youâre interested.â
Remus let out a snort at that, immediately horrified that he just belittled a service that your shop provided. âOh! I, erm, I mean-â
âRelax, Lupin; Iâve not had my tea leaves read either.â You offered in monotone, looking up and offering him a smirk.
âNot big on divination, I take it?â He asked you then, watching as you set up parchments and twine along your workbench.Â
âNot at all; but she was bad for business which was what I was looking for.âÂ
Remus felt his head tilt at that but you disappeared behind the curtain into a store room before he was able to comment on your word choice.Â
Remus leaned heavily against the counter as he made himself busy watching what looked to be a bowtruckle climb through the vines and branches of an ancient looking tree that seemed to make up the majority of the shop's ceiling.Â
You reappeared from the back room with an overflowing basket of ingredients, and far more supplies than Remus came here for.
âOh! I, erm, I only came for dittany, valerian root, and pain potions today.â He offered awkwardly, trying to stand up straighter and wincing when his hip cracked audibly.Â
You looked up at him then, clearly fighting off an expression that threatened to take over your face that would give away the fact that you thought Remus quite stupid for explaining, which Remus also noted was a new skill you acquired since your days in school.
âRightâŠâ You offered awkwardly, looking back down at your basket. âI also added some moonseed, powdered moonstone, powdered silver, and some wiggenweld potions.âÂ
âMoonseed can be used as a salve for your sores, Remus.â Madame Pomfrey explained to him after graduation before he left Hogwarts for the last time. âDo keep some on you at all times, okay? And any ingredients that can be used in pain potions or calming draughts; powdered moonstone, valerian root, and for very deep werewolf injuries, please keep powdered silver on you as well.â He simply smiled at Madame Pomfrey before pecking a kiss to her cheek - his mum away from home and the witch who single handedly ensured Remusâ survival all these years - not bothering to admit to her that heâd likely never be able to afford these ingredients as a lycanthrope.
He didnât even register that you seemed to know of his lycanthropy nor that you had packaged everything up for him in your parchments and twine, adding sprigs of fluxweed between the knot of twine - for decoration or practical use, Remus wasnât sure - until you read his total out for him.Â
âThatâll be three galleons and 25 knuts, please.â You said simply as you stared at him expectantly.
Three galleons?! The powdered silver should be almost five, alone.Â
âThatâs not enough.â He pressed quickly, causing one of your eyebrows to raise at him.
âItâs my shop, I get to charge what I feel.â
âI donât need your charity, L/N.â He spat then, officially losing what little patience he had. Money had always been a sore spot for him, and this was exactly why he didnât come to your Apothecary; a well-done by Sacred 28 witch like you wouldnât understand.
âLupin.â You chided harshly. âSince youâve never bothered to frequent my shop before, you may not be aware that I had my business passed through the Ministry in partnership with St. Mungoâs as a sliding scale provider, meaning that I only have to charge people what they can afford to pay me. Aside from that, my family has more money than any of my potential future childrenâs childrenâs children will know what to do with, so I will tell you again: it is my shop, I get to charge what I feel.âÂ
Remusâ eyes flit back towards the ceiling without his consent to watch the bowtruckle twirl one of the hanging crystals and chatter happily as it watched the rainbow lights reflecting along the walls.
âThose would be PandoraâsâŠshe offers tea leaf readings on Saturdayâs; she was bad for business which was what I was looking for.â
âThis was your fatherâs shop.â Remus concluded, watching your jaw tighten as you gave him a curt nod. âAnd youâŠdid this?â Remus continued as he gestured to the store vaguely.
âRuined it, yes.â You confirmed.
âWho said it was ruined?â
You hummed as you looked off into the distance recalling the names of people who said you had destroyed your familyâs business. âMy entire family, their peers, the business department at the Ministry, Professor Slughorn⊠the likes.â
You seemed surprised when you returned your gaze to Remus to find him smiling softly at you.Â
âWhy?â He whispered at you, causing you to smile what appeared to be bashfully.Â
âI donât need to profit off of someone else's struggles.â You said simply, no longer making eye contact with Remus and opting to bag the packages in front of you in order to have something to do with your hands. âIâm in a position to help, soâŠI feel like I should.â
Remus let out a hum of acknowledgment as he placed his three galleons and 25 knuts on the counter in front of you.Â
âOrâŠâ Remus started teasingly as he accepted the brown paper bag you had placed his packages in from your hand. âYouâve gone soft.â
Your face fell then as you stared him down challengingly, though Remus relished in the hint of a smile from your lips. âGet the hells out of my shop, Lupin.â
Remus laughed as he backed away from the counter, his bag and cane in one hand as he pointed at you. âNo, no. Youâve made a terrible mistake, L/N. I will be haunting this shop frequently from now on.â
âStay out of trouble, will you Lupin?â You called back to him as he made it to the door of the shop.Â
âYou know what? I donât think I will. Thanks, dove! Next time Iâll stop by with James and Sirius!â
And he couldnât help the beaming smile that took over his face as he heard your groan some profanity as the door slipped shut behind him.Â
Oh yeah, heâd definitely be telling the boys that he found a new Apothecary, and that they should absolutely be investing their families money in it.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin fic#remus lupin ficlet#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#feisty!reader#fluff#remus lupin fluff#ellecdc fics
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Can it finally rain so that the humidity might go down a bit? My skin is breaking out
#emma posts#tmi#I will say I prefer humid heat and 100% mean it#but that doesnât mean I LIKE it#I just hate when itâs super dry and hot more#at least my skin feels moisturized like this#I went out to Montana in the summer a few years back and the flat fuck dusty ass parts were sucking the moisture out of my skin itself#at least here itâs like. still not that dry when itâs dry#there is so much water here that it goes for the stuff on the ground first#which isnât great when we donât get enough precipitation to re fill it#but if nothing else there is bound to be some wet spot to stand in or something#last year was luckily more wet because the two before it were dry enough that some rivers were barely streams#and we are called the land of 10000 lakes for a reason#humans really do just short circuit when put in a very different climate#my chin hurty because that one cyst thing is back and it is painful
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scare | Â·Ë àŒ spencer reid ,, (part 1)
synopsis - youâre in a relationship with some one else and have a pregnancy scare, both your own reaction and spencerâs makes you realise that youâre not happy.
genre - bau!reader x spencer, friends to lovers, multi-part, pregnancy scare, reader has sort of a douche bf, one sided love (at first), angst and fluff
warnings - pregnancy talk, mentions of sex, unhealthy relationships, stress, sickness
w/c - 1.4k?? take a guess cause thatâs mine.
a/n - iâve got 9 weeks free. yeah, i have a job. and yeah, i have about 6 other hobbies i enjoy. but am i gonna make promises i canât keep about writing more?? yeah. i am. here, enjoy. (pls lemme know abt mistakes itâs rlly late at night rn.)
The plane whirrs, small chatter from Morgan and who you assumed to be Penelope over the phone humming along with the music you try to distract yourself with. It isnât working.
Because every song has its own special and quirky musical instrument that happens to sound like a message notification. And you keep getting your hopes up.
Your left leg started to bounce, your fingernails found their way to your anxious teeth. And Spencer noticed.
He noticed about halfway through the case, when you stopped talking as much, started drinking an influx of water, started discreetly taking pain medication. At first, he thought it was a simple stomach bug, and he knew your stomach didnât agree with a lot of travel. But then you started getting nervous.
Spencer glanced at you a few times before moving, sitting next to you (attempting to be discreet). He canât be discreet though, because every time heâs around you, his body does this weird thing where it canât decide whether it should be instantly calm or instantly more nervous. Your presence stopped his fidgeting hands, his tired thoughts. But god, when he looked at you, itâs like his heart wants to see you for itself.
And right now his heart hurt, why were you scared?
You barely noticed Spencer sit down, usually you would, but your phone was annoyingly blank, silent. You turned it off and on three times, and re-entered the planeâs wifi password five times.
And now your stomach was grumbling, and not in the way that those nice small sandwiches can help out with.
âAre you okay?â
You jumped, taking your earphones out and staring at Spencer surprised. You laughed nervously, quietly, âSpencer! Sorry. Yeah, Iâm fine.â
His warm eyes searched yours and for a second you could ignore the tight feeling in your chest. It made you think back around 8 months ago, when Penelope, your childhood best friend and now co-worker, created a pros and cons list for both Lloyd, and⊠Spencer.
It was unprofessional and inappropriate, especially when you decided to listen because you had nothing better to do. And especially when she started making some good points.
He squinted his eyes, and you sighed.
âSorry, Iâm just a bit antsy. Feeling a bit⊠off.â
You felt sick, and stressed, and like your thoughts were going to be the cause of your death. Because youâve never been sick like this. And to your overworked brain, it only meant one thing.
Spencerâs a great profiler. And although the team collectively agreed to not profile each other, it becomes hard for Spencer when the girl heâs in love with is so obviously in distress. Even worse when he canât be the hero.
âI can leave you to sleep if you want.â He says, getting up to leave.
âOh, no. Thatâs okay. Honestly, I think sleeping would just make it worse.â
Ah, right. Travel sickness, Spencer thought. He gaps his mouth slightly and nods. He relaxes into the couch and looks over to you, heart picking up slightly as pieces of hair fell from your loose ponytail.
You looked over to the table he was previously sat at, the book you gifted him last Christmas open and nearly finished. You smiled to yourself, but it was bittersweet.
âYouâre actually reading it?â You asked, looking back at him with slight surprise.
âOf course. Iâve read it 6 times already, itâs a great pallet cleanser- Just like you said in that Christmas card!â He smiled childishly, like he was recalling the first snow.
âI know right! Itâs so simple but interesting, I mean Iâve only read it three times but to me I always found it to clear my head.â
Spencer angled himself towards you, âDid you know that the author actually interviewed his daughterâs teachers to see what ages teachers were more invested in compared to class sizes? He said in an interview that depending on a students intelligence, thereâs an underlying emotional connection made between student and teacher,â he took a breath, âIt plays into the intelligence to ego ratio that so many people claim isnât true. Which Iâm not trying to say you have a big ego, or that I do-â
You waved you hands, âWoah, woah. Why would I think youâre talking about me?â
He furrowed his eyebrows, âWell, youâre very intelligent.â
âOh!⊠Thanks for thinking Iâm intelligent, or smart.â You shrugged, âBut I think you insulted yourself. You donât have a 187 IQ for nothing do you?â
âYou remembered my IQ?â He laughed nervously. His smile warms your chest like a candle. Like that candle he got you randomly in April, after you mentioned your favourite one being used up by your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend. Ugh.
You smile falters for only a second, âOf course. You only mention it to every person that second guesses you.â
He nods and smiles, âMust be my ego.â
You laugh, subconsciously bumping your shoulder with his. But- Jesus. Your stomach is queasy.
âHey, uh, do you want some travel sickness pills?â He reached over for his satchel but you grab his forearm and smile as convincingly as you can.
âNo, no. Weâre landing soon, but thank you.â
Youâre overreacting.
Thatâs what he said. When you texted your boyfriend of a year and a half that you thought you were pregnant he said, Youâre overreacting. Two words, two hours after your first text, on his day off.
Maybe you are. You started feeling sick on a slightly more gory case, itâs lasted ever since the case started, you get travel sick as well.
The headaches are from the computer screen and stress. The stress is from fatigue. The fatigue is because of the lack of sleep. The lack of sleep is because of the headaches.
Why do you always do this? Always thinking that thereâs something wrong with you. Always being the biggest person in your own life, selfish.
But⊠what if?
Thereâs a sudden squeak from behind you, and you instantly snapped out of it. You took a deep breath and looked at your surroundings. You were at your desk, standing, the strap of your bag clutched in your hands - god, your knuckles were white. Your eyes darted in surprise and confusion, and you jumped once again when Spencer spoke into the silence.
âYou okay?â
âUmâŠâ
You didnât look back at him, only looking down at your shoes and taking a deep breath. You plastered on a smile despite the bile collecting in your throat.
âYeah! Yeah, Iâm fine. Iâve gonna go, the bus leaves at umâŠâ
You took out your phone. He didnât even respond to your text asking him to pick you up.
âIâll drive you home. But uh, I gotta pick up some groceries. I hope you donât mind.â
He curved to your desk and gently took your bag from your hands, glancing at the way you traced your knuckles and how the leather strap now had slight wrinkles in it. He smiled, warmly. And he started walking like you rejecting the idea wasnât an option.
Which is wasnât, because he knew you too well.
âWell, a cucumber actually has 3% more water than watermelon. So if you really want a refreshing snack, cucumber is your man.â
You smiled and raised your eyebrows in interest. Heâs had many vegetables and fruits in the basket, not a lot of protein. Explained a lot.
My man, you thought with a smile.
My man, you shivered.
âI donât like cucumbers.â You said like it was distraction, and he nodded, picking up some kewpie mayo as he you around to the next aisle. He glanced at you,
âI know. You say itâs tasteless. I like it.â He shrugged.
âI know.â You smiled, and he smiles back.
God, you wish you could bask in it, the warmth. But your chest was still tingly, and your heart hadnât stopped aching ever since you got excited about an email notification.
âHey, are you sure youâre okay? I noticed youâve been tense for like⊠a week.â He grabbed some pasta sauce and put his hand on your shoulder to turn you around - you obviously looked too far into your own head.
âYeah, just feeling-â
âY/n.â He turned to you, stopping your venture into the dairy aisle. His eyes were hard, worried. The fluorescent lights swayed slightly. A worker walked by the end of the aisle with a trolley full of food.
âSorry.â
âDonât,â he lifted one arm, wanting to rest his hand on your upper arm, to help you, âDonât say sorry. Just tell me whatâs going on.â
âI have been feeling sick. Thatâs true. And Iâve been stressed and, thinking a lot. A lot.â
It felt weird to nearly tell Spencer about your relationship problems. It was like complaining to a doctor about healing crystals. It was like a slap in the face. Maybe thatâs why you never did tell him about it, because it was facing your fears.
It was the pros and cons list made by Penelope.
But Iâm overreacting.
âItâs nothing.â
Spencer sighed. You had that habit, of nearly opening up, and then shutting the door just as he was about to walk in.
You heard his sigh.
âOkay. I gave Lloyd my car because he has the day off, and he likes going to his friends houses on his days off. And, I told him something that should probably freak him out. But he doesnât really care. I donât think he really cares, about anything. At least about me.â
You started walking, because holy shit youâve never said that out loud before, and Spencer followed you,
âY/n, if you want to tell me something-â
âI think Iâm pregnant.â You stopped, and started picking at your fingers, acting as if it was admitting to not knowing your left and rights, or that you donât really like coconut.
His eyes widen, and his heart drops. It was like his worst nightmare coming true- jesus, how could he even think about himself right now? The girl he loved felt trapped with a man she thought might be the father of her baby.
Spencer gulped, âOh.â
âYeah, oh.â
You looked at each other, scared, you more than him. And then you cringed,
âGod, Iâm sorry Spencer. I shouldnât have said anything-â
âNo- Y/n, itâs fine. Iâm glad you told me-â
âI havenât even, like, taken a test yet-â
âWait so-â
You spun on your heel and looked at him exasperated.
âSo⊠letâs go get some tests.â He said (he hopes) calmly. He was really trying, to pretend to be calm and collected. Thatâs what you needed, a clear head to replace yours.
He paid for everything, even the 5 pregnancy tests and the over sized lollipop you put in the basket to ease your nerves later on.
The moon was high, you were about three hours late to get home now, and your head was attacking itself with rambles and aches and honestly, you were sick of it.
You shivered, huddling in your jacket and drawing only slightly closer to Spencer. His silence was like a hook, drawing you in closer and higher and taking every word you had been thinking that day to the tip of your tongue.
You looked up to him. His hair fell into his eyes, the breeze reddening his cheeks slightly.
Itâs Spencer. Youâve known him for nearly 6 years, but it feels like youâve known each other for ever. You know everything about him, and he knows everything about you. Well, not everything. He doesnât know how you feel in your own apartment, how every anniversary had been forgotten even when it was the â1 yearâ mark, how you felt like you were raising an over grown child who could drink.
He knows youâre strong, but admitting all that? Iâd look weak.
You have looked weak in front of Spencer. He stayed overnight in your hospital room, he held you when you watched a little girl die, he wiped your tears when you watched a sad short film during your break.
You couldnât hide anything from him.
âI donât think Iâm pregnant- Well, I mean I might be, but thereâs a very low chance,â You started, Spencerâs jaw clenched for a millisecond, âIâve just been feeling sick and⊠it could be because of stress from work, or just general stress- like, I donât know.â
Spencer moved the grocery bag to his other hand.
âKids are great, donât get me wrong. Some people donât get the chance to have kids. I meanâŠâ You gulped, and Spencer finally looked down at you. But now, all you could do was stare at the car parkâs concrete floor. Speaking out loud was like clearing your brain, the fog was lifting. âLloyd doesnât want kids. I do, at least in the future, not right now. I just hope itâs not with-â You cut yourself off, and slow down a bit. Spencer matches your pace.
I just hope itâs not with him.
He gulps, and clears his throat, looking down at you with understanding eyes, âWith everything thatâs going on.â
âYeah⊠yeah. You know, my job, myâŠâ Itâs no use lying to Spencer. He knows. Heâs known, for a long time.
Your chest was tight, and you made eye contact with the pregnancy tests lying on top of Spencerâs groceries. The thought of going home, rushing to the bathroom, avoiding your boyfriend who was already waiting angry, made your throat close up. Because only now, when you were three hours late from work and ignoring his one attempt at a phone call, Lloyd texted, âI think you need to calm down.â It was a bare minimum, and finally Spencer could see you realizing it.
No, âWre you okay?â, âWhatâs making you think this?â âWhere are you?â
No. He was making you out to be the crazy one, the one to be over thinking, over bearing, too much.
You were confused. To put it blankly. And scared. And questioning your life decisions. And honestly you just wanted to curl up in a ball and to have Spencer make you bad cucumber salad at his warm apartment.
You looked up to Spencer but he was already looking down at you, reaching for his keys and nodding, âYou can come to mine, itâll be okay.â
taglist (open) - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld @theoraekenslover @c-losur3 @littlelearningbrat @khxna @laurakirsten0502 @cultish-corner
#criminal minds#spencer reid#cm#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid oneshot#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#criminal minds angst#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfic
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[image id:
several screenshots of asks sent by the original anonymous asker. they read,
screenshot 1: so eventually they may go 'okay, maybe i should leave'--because, you know, if you're told that all your existence does is /hurt the person you're around/, you'd rather not do that anymore. and the response is 'see! i knew you'd leave! all you do is isolate trans women! so much for love every trans woman before it's too late!' ect ect ect. 2/5
screenshot 2: i GET why trans femmes/women may feel that way but it feels like certain discourse spaces only hype up that paranoia and catastrophizing. i think it results in a lot of trans women expecting-- and even 'testing' their afab friends thinking that innevitably they'll be the transmisogynists the internet said they'd be. waiting on baited breathe for when they'll be ganged up on. it's like the 'you see more red cars when you expect them' or whatever thing. 3/5
screenshot 3: of course, trans women are targeted in a LOT of ways in their own friend groups-- and like, obviously trans women have been horribly targeted elsewhere. and this isn't to dismiss those feelings-- but like... i feel like looking at your friend group and expecting them to attack you like wolves... isn't a healthy way to live. 4/5
screenshot 4: it becomes a very 'damned if you do damned if you don't' moment for everyone else that, from personal experience (with said person STILL convinced i am GOING to personally attack her at ANY moment when i've never indicated such and if anything just want her to leave me tf alone), ends up being an emotional hostage situation created because sometimes the internet convinces you it's better to act like caricature of your real self because vulnerability and honesty is the enemy. 5/5
end id]
(long ask there's gonna be a lot of parts-- if u get these please put them 2gether)i think specifically the thing w some transfemmes and paranoia around 'tmes' (usually trans men and afab nonbinary people lets be real) is it's like a really fucked up game of chicken. They (used collectively, like as in, the group) psyche themselves up for how they'll 'inevitably' get transmisogyny and hurt by their 'afab friends'-- no matter how much said friends may reassure them. 1/5
Yeah, that kind of thinking doesn't help anyone. It just perpetuates a constant culture of being afraid to say anything at all or approach anyone. It should be obvious that's exactly what we need less of.
#its quite sad#i was talking abt this w a friend#abt how#specifically online like not irl at all#theres this very obvious like#echo chamber#that coalesce together bc they feel safe together#bc here they found each other#this one space. this one singular space where they will not be hurt by transmisogyny#i really am like. sympathetic. to a point#it reminds me of truscum spaces on tumblr. when i was a cringe transtrender teen#you get hurt so you stop going into the places where youre getting hurt. you go somewhere you cant be hurt and you find other people who ha#e also been hurt. you lick each others wounds. you talk about that hurt. that real hurt that real blood those real wounds#this is how trauma becomes hate#this is how radfeminism begins. for cis women too.#bc then those shared experiences turn from 'transmisogyny is a system of oppression and it is everywhere even in queer spaces that should b#safe for us' into 'other trans people are inherently transmisogynistic and only other transfems are TRULY trans like i am. only people who#re like me are safe.'#which is fucking dangerous#like. i dont know how the fuck there are people explicitly calling themselves baeddels when that group perfectly exemplified how this consp#racy thinking ends in. more trauma. more pain. more hate.#same thing w truscum like i mentioned before. or like how aphobic exclusionists often end up becoming TERFs.#this is why the queer community is in such goddamn tatters . online at least . bc people are traumatized and taking that out on other queer#for whatever fucking reason they come up with#maybe im wrong. maybe this is pedantic or patronizing or just flat out incorrect idk#ive had some. good conversations with people. about these online spaces#and theyre all so fucking similar#i dont want to become like that. so im trying very hard to have sympathy and compassion when i see it happen
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fontana di trevi | 01
you seek out a vampire to help you with something.
pairing:Â vampire!jk x sadgirl, blood donor!reader
genre: vampire au, angst, fluff (really a sadgirl fic lol)
word count:Â 7.6k
warnings: blood, needles, talking about how you euthanize cows and such? suicidal thoughts (not graphic or elaborated? very straightforward?)
rating:Â NC-17 â Adults Only
masterlist
part 1/2
<previous | next>
© between takes is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.
Itâs a freezing cold December night when you step into the dark alleyway, your thighs having gone numb under your jeans a while ago. The sun set hours ago, and the only light present is that of a few scattered streetlights.Â
Your pulse quickens as you take another cautious step. Something moves further in, where the light barely reaches, and since thereâs no snow yet, you hear the slight crunch of frozen fall leaves under⊠footsteps. From the dark, a tall figure approaches slowly in a way that would have anyoneâs blood chilling.
âI have a proposition,â you state, trying to stand somewhat tall.
"A proposition?â a low voice inquires, and you have to tilt your head up to look at the face that emerges from the shadows. âIâll fuck you, but Iâm not turning you for sex.â
âThatâs not whatâI donât want sex or to be turned.â
He directs his full attention to you, and in turn, you get a better glimpse of his features. He looks like a man; incredibly handsome with jet black hair, eyebrows, and eyes, but his skin is paler than anything youâve seen, and thereâs the tiniest smudge of something red tinting the corner of his mouth. Though his eyebrow is raised, he doesnât look very entertained.
âYou can have my blood. All of it, if you just take it quickly.â
He lifts his hand to slowly wipe the red from his face. The outfit he wearsâa black leather jacket and black pantsâlooks human but is definitely too cold to wear this time of year.
âWhat makes you think I wouldnât simply take it if I wanted to? Why would I need your permission?â
âIâm just saying. Take it if you want it?â
He looks at you, seemingly at least a little intrigued by the odd human in front of him. You definitely understand that most people run the other way at the sight of this big, intimidating being.Â
âYou realize âall of itâ means youâll be dead, right?â
You nod. âDo we have a deal?â
âRegardless of if I wanted to or not, I literally just⊠ate, so I physically canât. Not for another week or so.â
You feel your shoulders drop slightly, and you blink, trying to improvise a plan.
âOkay, well⊠Do you want to meet here in a week, then?â
At that, he tilts his head. âYou want to die here, in a dirty alleyway?â
âI donât care. So yes or no?â
âIf you want me to do this, give me something in return first, okay?â
You look at him in confusion. âYouâre getting my blood?â
âWho's to say your blood is even good?â
Trying not to let his words discourage you, you look around, thinking. Maybe you shouldâve played harder to get? At least in the sense of giving him a hunt? You donât want to waste any time, but he might not be your best option.Â
âFine, do you know if there are other vampires around here? How do I find them?â
It took you three weeks to even find this one, and maybe it was more luck than anything, so setting off on another search doesnât sound too exciting. These creatures really do live in the shadows.
âNo, listen. Whether your blood is delicious or not, it would certainly be helpful to have it. ButâŠâ
âBut?â
âLet me stock up on it first. Meet me at my place and let me take some every week for two months and then Iâll take the rest.â
You look around again, unsure if you should just try to find someone else. Two months is not ideal; itâs too long, and youâre sure you could manage to find someone else in the meantime.Â
The vampire senses your hesitation and takes a step closer.
âYou want it to be quick, which means youâre scared of pain. People around here, my kind, tend to drag it out. Pain and fear equal adrenalin, which gives the blood a certain⊠flavor that some enjoy. Agree to my compromise, and Iâll make it quick and practically painless.â
He gives you the smallest of smiles, barely a hint of one, but it feels wicked and makes a cold shiver run down your spine. You know heâs not trustworthy, but heâs getting a lot out of the deal, and you have nothing to lose, really.
âOkay. Whatâs the address?â
In the middle of the day a week later, you find yourself in front of a big two-story house. Itâs nice, looks pretty expensive but⊠like a regular house? Itâs painted white and definitely not blood-red or even black. Aligning more with your expectations is how the house is partially obscured from the road by huge, towering spruces and how it seems to lie just a little bit further from the neighboring houses. Thereâs a thin layer of snow on the ground now, but youâre not sure whether itâll stick.
After confirming that no, there is no door bell, you lift your fist to knock on the door. Vampires have crazy good hearing anyway, right? Youâd assume so, given the fact that theyâre always portrayed as super fast, super strong, super⊠attractive, and with super hearing, super vision, just⊠super all around. The mythical creatures donât officially exist to the world, but in your little town, everyone knows they do. And they do. You found one. So if they drink blood and are super attractiveâat least this oneâitâs not too weird to assume thereâs more truth to their pop-culture portrayal.Â
You can see how the townâs vampire believers and enthusiasts shake their heads in disappointment at your relative indifference, but truth be told, youâd probably be more curious about the vampire whose home youâre about to step into if the situation was different. Or maybe youâd have some self-preservation and run the other way?
The door opens almost soundlessly, and when you look up, you meet those black, bottomless eyes. It really is his color, you think, your gaze drawn to the short-sleeve, black button-down heâs wearing, the top three buttons or so left undone. With it, heâs wearing black pants on the looser side. He looks incredibly handsome, and very effortlessly so. His hair is shiny and looks soft, and like it naturally falls into that slight side-part.
âAre you gonna come in or just stand there and ogle me?â He isnât smiling teasingly; he just looks at you, unimpressed.
âSorry.âÂ
He turns to retreat back into the house, and youâre left to enter through the open door. There are no lights on inside, and when you close the door behind you, cutting off a majority of the daylight, you start to feel like youâre truly inside a vampireâs home. Still, itâs light enough for you to follow said vampireâs back after hastily removing your coat and folding it to leave over the boots you step out of. Since you assumed he needs access to the veins in your arms, you picked out a gray t-shirt and a black zip-up hoodie thatâs a little too big on you, paired with jeans. Nothing fancyâyouâre not there to impress him.
With quickened steps, you catch up to him as he wordlessly leads the way into his kitchen, a place you doubt he uses much. Vampires donât actually eat, do they? Either way, the room is clean and feels almost... sterile, despite the walnut cupboards and dark gray countertops.
On the short end of a wide, matching walnut dining table, a bunch of supplies are laid out. He gestures to one of the two chairs positioned around the corner of the table, but as you sit down, he turns to leave.
âUhm, I donât know how to do this,â you admit, pulling the zipper of your hoodie down and slipping one arm out. âI mean, Iâm sure it canât be that complicated in⊠theory, but I donât think I can do it on myself.â
âIâm just gonna wash my hands,â he explains, and there seems to be a very slight trace of emotion in his voice and on his face that you interpret as amusement. He thinks you're dumb.
Oh. Well⊠does it really matter if his hands are squeaky clean or not?
Water hits the sink with a familiar sound as you focus on the table, inspecting the supplies. Thereâs a needle with a tube attached to it, a tourniquet, some syringes, antiseptic wipes, and a few empty blood bags. A voice in your head wonders if maybe he changed his mind and will simply take everything at this moment because those bags look pretty big, and youâre not sure you can fill them and still walk out of this place.Â
The water stops, and you sit pretty and wait until he positions the other chair in front of you, a little to the side. Youâve never been a fan of needles or having your blood drawn, so you focus your eyes the other way, to a specific part of his kitchen window and the overcast outside. You hear the sound of paper and plastic ripping, and you feel his cold fingers place and tighten the tourniquet around your upper arm and feel for your veins before he wipes the area clean.
âScared of needles?â he teases arrogantly, and you see how he reaches for the sharp object on the table.
âBodily reaction. I canât help it,â you explain before holding your breath and waiting for the poke.
It comes soon after; an uncomfortable but not too painful prick. With one hand, he moves some things around on the table, and you try to keep as still as possible, loathing the feeling of a needle jolting around in your vein.
âYouâre not curious as to why I know how to do this stuff? Or worried that I donât?â he wonders, releasing the tourniquet and seemingly fastening the needle to your skin with some tape.
âNo. I guess it doesnât surprise me; blood and vampires seem to go hand in hand.â
He surprises you by letting out a quiet chuckle before placing a red stress ball in your hand. âSqueeze this. Iâll be back to change the bag in a few minutes.â
Nodding, you watch him rise from his chair and leave the room.
Left to your own devices and with the filling blood bag taped to the chairâs armrest by its thin tube, you close your eyes.Â
The house is entirely silent, and you have no idea where the vampire went. After he moved the stuff around on the table, you were able to count exactly three blood bags with a printed 450 ml on them. That adds up to somewhere between one and one and half liters and around 30% of your blood volume if youâve calculated correctly. According to your brief research, a human doesnât typically survive losing more than 40% of their blood unless given emergency medical attention. You probably wonât feel too great after today, but you most likely wonât die. You think.
Slowly, the minutes start to tick by, but you feel okay so far. Youâve got a good rhythm going for the stress ball, squeezing, holding, releasing. Squeezing, holding, releasing. The silence has your mind wandering.
âYou can stop for a bit.â
The vampireâs sudden voice has your eyes flying open. He hadnât made a single sound, returning to the kitchen. Catching your breath, you nod, keeping the ball still in your hand. You donât look at the needle in your arm, but you see the bag full of dark red that the vampire sits down and trades for an empty one, attaching the tubes before he fastens them in the same way to the armrest.Â
When heâs done, he lifts his hand, and you spot one of his fingertips covered in red. For a split second, he observes it, and then he puts the finger to his tongue. At first, itâs weird to see, and you almost want to tell him that itâs not hygienic to taste other peopleâs blood. That is before you remember that other peopleâs blood is what sustains him.
He looks to be assessing something, and suddenly, youâre worried he might not like it.
âB positive," he focuses on you, but you give him a slight, confused shrug because you have no idea what blood type you are or what it means in this context.Â
âIs that⊠okay?â
âItâs⊠meh. Not the most common but also not the rarest. Most of my kind prefer A or even AB, though.â
âOh."
Of course, your blood is substandard. You nod toward the filled bag on the table. âWill you have any use for this then?â
Truly, it would be just your luck to not even have the scary creatures, who roam the night in search of victims to drain, want your blood.
âYeah. Doesnât matter. I can always use it as a backup if I donât get the chance to feed in time. Squeeze.â
Per his order, you resume squeezing. The rest of the process goes relatively smoothly, although youâve started feeling a lot⊠weaker by the time the second bag is full and the vampire is about to switch it for the third.Â
Thereâs a lot about blood and the human body that you donât know, and youâre silently wondering what the recovery rate is and if you can really give him this much every week. Does he plan on taking less next time or has he not taken it into consideration?
âWhy do you want to die?â
You blink at his bluntness, looking at his uncaring face. He obviously doesnât care to hear the longer story, and you donât care to tell it, so you settle for a shorter, more condensed version.
âThereâs something wrong with me. I donât belong here.â
âDidnât taste like it.â
âMaybe not physically.â
He doesnât dig further, but when your blood starts trickling into the third bag, the vampire stays seated. You still close your eyes, afraid that youâll stare at his face otherwise, and he didnât particularly seem to like that.Â
Youâre not sure if itâs just the blood loss or a combination of having slept poorly for the last few weeks and being in a calm, silent environment, but youâre feeling tired. Really tired. And cold.Â
âSqueeze harder,â his voice instructs, void of emotion. You do your best to follow his instructions, squeezing the ball tighter even though itâs getting difficult.
âWeâre done.â
You open your eyes, finding the vampire much closer than before and his fingers swiftly removing the needle from your arm.
âOkay, so⊠uhâŠâ you start, finding it hard to choose words or even think of what you want to convey in the first place. âDo I come back⊠same time⊠next week?âÂ
âNo. Make it two weeks.â
You look at him, confusion written across your features, but itâs hard to focus your eyes on his face. Itâs blurry, and there are dark spots infiltrating your vision.
âI took as much as I could, and while you wonât have time to replenish everything in two weeks either, Iâll at least get more out of you than in just one week.â
He smiles, and if you had the energy and maybe (mostly) the common sense, youâd be scared by the way he truly looks so wicked.Â
âOkay. Iâll see you then.â
The vampire takes the stress ball from you and rises from the chair with the used supplies in his hands. You grip the armrests best you can, but your right hand slips, and you stumble a little, trying to stand. Itâs so incredibly cold, and you feel dizzy, nauseous, and weak, putting your hoodie back on properly.
Very quietly, you hear him move around the kitchen, and while he hasnât explicitly told you to leave, youâre very much assuming he wants nothing else. So on unsteady legs, you make your way back to the front door, where you grab your coat to haphazardly put it on, and you step into your boots, unable to bend down to tie them properly.
Youâre able to make it to your old but trustworthy car that you parked on the street, but when you sit down in the driverâs seat and close the door behind you, you realize that you definitely canât drive as itâs proving more and more difficult to even keep your eyes open. You canât walk home, you have no one to come pick you up, and even if there probably is a bus stop somewhere around here, you donât think youâd make it there.Â
So with your last burst of energy, you pull the lever under the seat to push it back a little, leaving your boots on the floor as you bring your feet and knees up. Your coat finds a new purpose as a makeshift blanket, and you cover as much of your body as you can with it. Fully knowing that as you close your eyes, you might never open them again, you donât care that much. Dying is what you want, anyway.
Surprisingly, you do open your eyes again. Itâs dark when you do, and itâs so, so cold. Your heart is beating hard as it tries to circulate blood that just isnât there anymore, and itâs with a low groan that you move, trying to reach for the phone in the pocket of your coat.
Itâs seven p.m.. You met with the vampire at two p.m., and the visit took less than an hour, which means that you got into your car at maybe a bit before three, and so youâve been passed out for four hours. It takes you a while to come to properly, and even when you do, you feel weak, groggy, and stiff. Ideally, you shouldnât drive, but you have no other means of getting home, so you decide on a route consisting of smaller roads with lower speed limits and less traffic.
Itâs no wonder you feel like youâre on deathâs doorstep because when you do some further Googling on blood donation and blood volumes at home, you calculate exactly how much someone of your size would have. And you find that the vampire took 38% of that.
Three weeks later, youâre knocking on his door again. He opens it, an eyebrow raised and looking even more unimpressed than last time.Â
âIâm sorry I didnât show last week, but I was sick,â you inform, hoping heâll accept your apology. âDidnât think you wouldâve wanted to see⊠that.â
âYouâre right.â
Thatâs all he says before he turns, leaving the door open for you just like last time. Well, you take that as a sign that youâre forgiven, and so you follow him inside.Â
Trying to keep up with him, youâre feeling even smaller and weaker around the tall vampire than before, and truth be told, you are. Because according to those Google searches, while it takes the body only approximately 24-48 hours to replace the blood plasma, it takes four to six weeks to replenish the red blood cells and recover fully. And thatâs from having one bag of 450ml donated; you left three and itâs only been three weeks since. Essentially, the vampire is taking your blood a lot faster than you can produce it.
Like last time, you sit down on the same chair in his kitchen, but since he wasnât expecting you, he has to retrieve the supplies from elsewhere. You remain quiet while he organizes everything, stealing a few glances at him in the meantime. This time, heâs wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts, and youâre amazed at just how⊠ordinary he looks. In the best way possible, of course.Â
Without being too tight, the shirt does a very good job at showing off his physique: it hangs wonderfully off his shoulders and dips slightly between his pecs. It exposes the prominent veins stretching across both his arms and hands, and you wonder if vampires also âliveâ in the way that he has a heart that pumps blood around his body. Or if heâs really âdeadâ or âundeadâ like some media describe them?
âWhat?â he questions, having caught you staring.
âYou look very human,â you say quietly. âLike a college guy.â
An athletic college guy. The one whoâs just a little too handsome to be exact.
The trace of amusement that flashes across his face is so faint that youâre not sure you didnât simply imagine it. He doesnât respond to your observation, only sitting down and reaching for your arm. His large hands feel a little warmer against your skin than you remember them doing last time, and you turn your head when he prepares the needle. Thereâs a pinch and then the immediate relief when he loosens the tourniquet.
âHere,â the red stress ball is placed into your hand again. Looking down briefly, you watch your own hand squeeze it, but the red fluid flowing through the transparent tube is too off-putting, and so you close your eyes again.
A minute or so passes while you keep squeezing the ball to some sort of rhythm tied to your breaths. It wonât be long. Soon, everything will be over.Â
Somewhere, you lose track of time, and to regain some sense of reality, you flutter your eyelids open. Only to see the vampire stare coldly at you. You freeze.
âI thought you left,â you admit, the surprise clear in your voice.
âIâm keeping an eye on you,â he explains, face still stoic.
You look at him dumbly. âNo offense, but why? The point is to kill me, anyway?â
âNo, itâs to take as much as possible,â he corrects you. âTo a reasonable extent. And then kill you. Here, let me change the bag.â
You close your eyes once more as he switches the full bag to a new, empty one. The dizziness comes a lot quicker than it did three weeks ago, but then again, youâve been feeling more or less weak and faint ever since that first donation.
âOkay, weâre done.â
You look at him, surprised. âAlready? But you didnât even fill the second bag fully?â
âI took too much last time, and like I said, I want to get as much out of you as possible.â
For the first time, you think you see a hint of a discreet fang when he gives you a blood-chilling smile.
The process of removing everything is quick, and before you know it, youâre putting your feet into your boots again. You feel faint, like your knees might buckle under you any second, but you donât feel weak to the point of passing out for hours in your car; you do that when youâre home in bed instead.
Suffering from what you gather is immense anemia, you donât have the energy to really do anything between your visits to the vampire besides lie on the couch and watch TV. You quit your retail job the Monday after finding him in that alleyway, confident (and correctly so) that you wouldnât be able to handle really any job at all.Â
Even rotting away on the couch with your eyes glued to the screen, you can barely understand what the shows are about. Your brain struggles to place the people and remember the plot lines, and you find yourself almost daydreaming instead. Though itâs mostly just flashing images of the vampire whose name you still donât know.
If your heart wasnât already so strained, it would beat harder for him in some kind of fear-filled attraction. Heâs absolutely gorgeousâand thereâs definitely something almost drawing you to himâbut heâs also so, so intimidating. If the end goal wasnât to die, youâd for sure be running for the hills and looking over your shoulder late at night.
Next time, thereâs a slight smile pulling on the vampireâs lips when he opens the door.
âStill alive?â
You chuckle quietly, looking down at your boots. âUnfortunately.â
Taking off your coat reveals another simple outfit with no other purpose than granting the vampire access to your arms while keeping your freezing body warm. This time, itâs a thick, brown cardigan over a t-shirt, paired with somewhat baggy jeans.
The contrast between your clothes is almost funny. Even indoors, youâd be freezing in the half-open thin, white dress shirt he wears messily tucked into black, also thin-looking slacks. The gap in his shirt makes you want to reach out and touch his pale chest, but of course, you keep your hands to yourself.
Once again, you follow him inside, and while you donât need him to, he guides you to the same spot in his kitchen where the stuff is all laid out.Â
Sitting down, you slip your arm out of the cardigan and place it on the armrest. The vampire washes his hands and then comes to sit down in front of you, reaching for the tourniquet to position it around your bicep. With the elastic band tightened, he rips open an antiseptic wipe to clean the inside of your elbow, and then, he prepares the needle like always.Â
You look away, holding your breath until the pinch comes and for a few seconds after.Â
âThe whole thing about vampires losing control around blood⊠I take it thatâs just storytelling?â
âDepends,â he answers, and despite not looking at him, you just know heâs got one eyebrow raised and a hint of a cocky smile on his lips. âIf weâre hungry and someone happens to bleed around us, yeah, it can be more⊠tempting. Also depends on what sort of blood we prefer.â
âAnd you donât like mine,â you state, your foggy brain concluding it the reason he seems to not care about the vulnerable blood right in front of him.
He laughs this time, a really nice sound that has your strained heart almost skipping an important beat. âI changed my weekly feeding to Thursdays, so Iâm still quite full. And your blood isnât vile, itâs just not what I personally go crazy for.â
âOh,â you let out, looking at him before something dawns on you. âWait. You eat once a week only? How much do you eat then? Or⊠drink?â
He nods toward the bag he just secured to your arm. âSomeone of my size typically only needs about two of these a week to survive and not maniacally hunt and kill, but to really thrive? Between two and three liters, so four to six bags. I usually go hunting Friday or Saturday night when most bars and pubs are full. Itâs surprisingly easy to find a few drunks stumbling around who wonât even realize what happened the day after.â
âSo you donât⊠kill?â
âNot if we can help it. Thereâs been⊠an increase in vampires around here, and if people drop dead? No, itâs less suspicious and only a little more work to find a few victims instead of draining one dry.â
âMakes sense.â
âMhm. I typically donât have to beg women to come with me, either.â
Something ice cold travels through your body at that last sentence. You wonder whose blood was on his lips that night when you found him.
âI canât believe youâre telling me this, though? You seem like youâd tell me to mind my own business.â
Even more, you canât believe you asked.
He smiles. âI donât know. Like I said, people will occasionally find out what I am, find me fascinating, and ask a thousand questions. Iâve always thought it to be incredibly annoying, and Iâm not really supposed to tell them anything even if I wanted toâwhich I donâtâbut itâs been⊠odd, not being questioned by you. At all. Almost boring, like Iâm not interesting to you.â
His answer surprises you, and for a moment, you imagine teenage you, not bubbly per se but at least a bit more naive than the current version. Would she be the type to annoy him? You donât think so.Â
âObjectively, you are interesting, but I canât believe how brave people are? If things were different, I wouldnât have gone out looking for a vampire in the first place. And if I somehow stumbled upon you, I wouldâve run the other way because youâd terrify me.â
Slowly, he smirks at your honesty.Â
âI scare you?âÂ
Youâd be lying if you claimed the cold, calculating aura around him didnât.
Youâre not sure if he has any super powers like in the movies, but honestly, he wouldnât need to be able to lift a bus to kill you. The scariest thing about him isnât how he could end your life in a hundred different ways either way, itâs how he could drag it out and extend your suffering before doing so. Of course, your body and instincts find him scary, but in a way, your mind⊠doesnât? Then again, youâre here because your mind wants him to kill you.
âI donât know.â
âHm,â is all he says, his eyes falling to the blood bag. âI have to change it. Hold on.â
âOkay,â you mumble, finding it hard to concentrate. Your heart beats so hard it hurts, but at the same time, your breathing is slowing down. Closing your eyes, you feel him move stuff around.
âHow are you feeling?â he suddenly asks, but it doesnât sound like he cares too much.
âHonestly? Terrible,â you admit, keeping your eyes closed.Â
You keep still when you feel his hands on your arm, but then you hear a little⊠rip.
âFuck.â
Curiously, you open your tired eyes, seeing the vampire hold the empty bag up to inspect it.Â
âThis was the last one I had. This brand is fucking terrible quality; how do you make blood bags so weak they rip?â
âYou donât have anything else to collect it in?â
He sighs defeatedly, âNo, it needs to be in these kinds of bags so I can store and freeze it properly.â
âOh. Okay.â
âIâll have to stock up on them and maybe take more next time.â
You nod slowly and understandingly. That will probably be the last time, then.
About a week and a half later, you find yourself on a bench downtown, your hands in the pockets of your coat to keep them warm. Itâs Saturday, and on the other side of the street, a few people are standing in line to be let inside your townâs best version of a nightclub. Youâre not certain what exactly brought you here, and youâre sure that if the happy, club-dressed people took the time to observe their surroundings, theyâd notice you staring and look at you weirdly in turn.
âHello?â
Registering the almost rude-sounding voice, you blink as you turn your head. Itâs a guy.Â
âHuh?â
His face looks skeptic, and heâs got his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. Heâs not wearing a jacket or coat of any kind over his white t-shirt, so you gather heâs in the middle of a night out. Probably left a bar for a smoke and spotted you.
âI asked you what your name is? Like three times?â
Heâs good looking with black hair and dark eyes, but the tone of his voice is very unattractive, and you have no interest in him whatsoever, knowing he isnât just looking to be your friend.
âOh. UhâŠâ
You donât say it. Itâs not that you donât remember your name or that youâre making a conscious effort to deny him the information, but itâs like your thoughts are at a standstill.Â
âBeat it.â
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. His lips didnât move.
âAnd who are you?â he asks, irritation dripping from his words, and this time, his lips are moving. However, his eyes are not on you but on something behind you.
Just as youâre about to turn around, the man in front of you leaves. His steps are quick, his mission abandoned.
âWhat are you doing here?â
Of course. It clicks the moment the vampire comes into view, and youâre surprised you didnât immediately recognize his deep voice. Heâs wearing that same leather jacket and some black pants, an outfit still very much inappropriate for winter. Though, something about him feels⊠wilder, almost a little uncontained? You canât put your finger on what exactly.
âUh, people-watching,â you inform as he rounds the bench, sitting down next to you.
Because heâs beautiful like no other, you glance discreetly at his face. Heâs so masculine, but in certain lights, you glimpse something softer. You particularly like his nose and its rounded tip. It gives him such an attractive profile, you think, gaze traveling over his features and lingering on his dark eyelashes.
âWhy? Isnât it cold as hell for you?â
âUhm, I donât know? And I guess?â
From looking straight ahead, he turns his head, redirecting his full attention to you. The light from the closest street lamp reflects in his dark eyes.
âIs there any truth to that whole âvampires are designed to lure humans inâ thing?â
He grins. âI lure you in?â
âYouâre more intimidating than you are attractive, actually,â you admit earnestly, wincing a little on the inside at how it came out a bit like an insult. Heâs definitely attractive, and maybe the fact that he is so attractive is part of why heâs also so intimidating. âIâm just wondering what you looked like before.â
âIâve always looked like this,â he explains casually, once again peering out over the cold, dark street. âVampirism doesnât change anything besides, like, skin impurities and conditions. I wouldâve shown you a picture, but there were no cameras around when I was human,â he smiles cheekily.
âAnyway, you should go home. Itâs really cold and not really safe at this time either,â he encourages.
You nod, realizing that he wants to protect his backup supply. âYeah.â
âGood. Iâll see you next week.â
âMhm.â
You expect him to get up and leave, confused when five seconds pass and he hasnât moved. The feeling seems to be mutual because he turns his head to look at you again.
âSo, are you leaving or not?â
âI am.â
âThen what are you waiting for?â
You look away, clearing your throat a bit awkwardly and realizing that you might just have to tell him, since he doesnât seem to be leaving before you. âI donât think I⊠can. I walked here, but I think I overestimated myself.â
The vampire looks you over briefly, probably just to be sure, but you both know that your main health concerns arenât visible.Â
âWhere do you live?â
âOh, not that far. Like less than a ten minute walk, but IâŠâ
âWhatâs your address?â
â124 Conch Street.â
âStand up.â
âWhat?â
âStand up.â
Puzzled, you follow his instructions and slowly rise to your feet. Though youâve been sitting stranded on the bench for almost two hours, the dizziness returns the moment you stand.
But the vampire isnât satisfied. âGet up on the bench and undo your coat up to your waist.â
This time, you give him a skeptic look.
âJust do as I say,â he holds his hand out for you.
Slowly and still confused, you take it, and with his aid, you step up onto the bench.
To your surprise, he lets go, and before you know it, heâs unzipped your coat from the bottom up to your waist, positioned himself in front of you, and grabbed your thighs. Instinctively, you place your arms around his neck as he hoists you onto his back and starts walking.
âWhat are you doing?â you breathe quietly.
âTaking you home in an inconspicuous way. It looks like weâre a couple, does it not?â
âDefinitely an odd and unexpected couple if so, but I guess?â
âYouâre a pretty girl, you know?â
Your lungs hold your breath for an extra second before slowly releasing it, and then you hum, but itâs only to actually provide him with an answer. You definitely donât think youâre anywhere near pretty enough for someone like him. He doesnât call you out on your vague answer.
Youâre not the most common sight, couple or not, and people still watch you as you pass them. Unsure as to how to meet their curious gazes, you donât; turning your head forward instead. When youâre so close, you inevitably catch his scent, only to find that he doesnât smell like a whole lot. There are traces of soap, laundry detergent, and maybe a hint of cologne, but not much else. No lingering smell of sweat or anything like that.
He walks you through the city and past the alleyway where you first found him. Itâs quiet, except for the muted sound of his footsteps as well as those of a man a bit ahead, evidently hurrying to get home and away from the cold.
âAre there more vampires here?â you wonder, looking around the silent street and thinking it might not be as empty as it seems.Â
âYes,â he confirms casually.
It has your brain working, and the surroundings reminding you of why youâre with him in the first place.
âHow are you going to kill me?â
If heâs caught off guard by your straightforward question, he does a good job of not showing it.Â
âI donât know.â
âOkay. But Iâd rather not bleed out,â you say, body aching at the mere thought. Although youâre certain there are much worse ways to go, you really donât like the feeling of severe blood loss.
âItâs the easiest way though,â he explains. âItâs not as easy to drain a body without a heartbeat to move the blood around.â
âAre you familiar with livestock?â you ask, thinking back to what your three-year-older cousin once told you as you biked past a field of cows one summer when you were ten. âYou can kill the animal and then âdebloodâ them by hanging the body upside down and cutting their throat. The blood will drain easily. Do you have a bathtub?â
âYouâre⊠a person though, still,â he says, and though he doesnât falter in his steps, you can tell your words donât sit quite right with him. âThereâs no dignity in an ending like that. And donât you care what happens to your body?â
To say youâre surprised is an understatement. You thought vampires were all bloodthirsty monsters, only biding their time until they can rip someone new apart. The messier, the better. The vampire, whoâs carrying you on his back, made no effort to appear nice either. At least not at first. Now, you donât even know.
You shrug slightly. Youâre not a spiritual person, and youâve never believed in something like an afterlife. âItâs just meat and bones. I wonât be here anymore, and no oneâs going to be looking for me, anyway. Thereâs no use in keeping things âpretty.ââ
He doesnât say anything in turn, and you wonder how much about you he knows. How much about your life he realizes.
The vampireâs smooth movement lulls you further into relaxation, and you lean your head partly against your own arm, partly against him. He doesnât say anything.
Way sooner than if you wouldâve walked with your own two legsâif you wouldâve made it home at allâhe puts you down in front of your apartment complex. You search your pockets, locating your keys in the left one.Â
âGoing home now? Since you canât enter without permission,â you joke tiredly, unlocking the front entrance with the key fob.Â
The vampire raises his eyebrows. âI might as well make sure you donât somehow trip and spill all my blood on the way to your apartment,â he smirks, grabbing the door and opening it wide without breaking eye contact. âAnd you shouldnât believe everything you see or read.â
The smile heâs wearing as he makes a show out of stepping inside the building is another chilling one. You canât say that you expected him to hit an invisible wall or anything, but for some reason, it wouldâve almost felt⊠nice if that were the case. Considering your situation, youâre not sure why.Â
The elevator is empty and waiting for you, and after getting inside, you press the button for floor two, the vampire coming to stand beside you.
âIs there anything that is true regarding vampires?â you ask quietly as if someone would hear you inside the elevator.
âBesides the fact that we drink blood?â
âYeah. Are you like, immortal and stuff? Super old?â
He chuckles. âKinda. I donât think anythingâs truly immortal, but we do have a longer life span, yes.â
âWhat about senses? Can you hear my heart beat right now?â
âYes. It sounds like itâs about to burst through your chest.â
Yeah, because itâs strained to hell and back, trying to keep you alive even in the condition youâre in.
âAnd super speed, super strength and all that?â
âMhm, although weâre not so fast we go blurry. Are you impressed?â
âI donât know? What do you use it for? I canât think of even one thing having those powers would improve in my life.â
âTough crowd,â he chuckles, avoiding your question as he follows you out of the elevator.Â
You understand that being physically superior is helpful when youâre a literal predator, and yeah, maybe being able to walk a tiny bit faster to work every morning wouldâve saved you some time, but what else? Oh, yeah, one time, you had to throw away a jar of pickles because you simply could not get it open. Being stronger wouldâve definitely helped you then.Â
Reaching your door, youâre quick to unlock it and pull it open to head inside, ignoring the two envelopes lying on the floor in your hallway. The vampire stays at the door, watching as you start to remove your coat two or so steps away from him.
âAre those⊠bruises?â
Turning your head as you make your way to the wardrobe to put the coat away, you see the vampire looking almost worried. You look down at the skin on your arms.Â
âYeah.â
âLet me look at them,â he urges, holding his hand out.
âWhy? They come with anemia; why does it matter?â
âStill, I want to see. Come over here.â
Despite looking oddly insistent, he makes no effort to actually enter your apartment.
Your eyes widen as you look at him. âYou really canât come inside without an invitation, can you?â
He sighs exasperatedly. âTechnically, no, I canât step inside unless you give me permission.â
It makes you laugh a little in wonder. âWow.â
He rolls his eyes, but you can tell it amuses him a little too.
âListen, Iâll be fine until we meet again and if the bruises are still there, you can look at them then. I kinda donât actually want to invite you in, is that rude of me?â
âNo, itâs not. Very reasonable, actually.â
âOkay, then Iâll see you Friday?â
He nods politely and steps back. âSee you.â
You watch him leave, his footsteps sounding through the hall as you bend down to pick up the envelopes youâve been ignoring for days. Theyâre probably bills, and youâll be dead soon, so who really cares if you pay them or not?
Mindlessly, you approach the door to close it, your focus on the white paper in your hands. You put your finger under the fold to rip the first envelope open, wincing when the paper cuts through your skin instead.
Holding your finger up, you inspect the damage and the little bead of red thatâs forming next to the invisible cut. You look at it, furrowing your eyebrows at how you feel like somethingâs⊠missing? A moment later, you realize what it is, and your body freezes.Â
The footsteps have stopped.
It dawns on you, as you look at the blood, what the vampire was actually doing tonight and why he looked wilder than usual. Early Saturday night, lurking around the clubs until he found you and had to abandon his plans.Â
He was hunting.
Your eyes widen and your heart stops as you hear it. One footstep. Then another. And another. Theyâre speeding up, and soon enough running toward you.
Before youâve had a chance to shut the door, it flies wide open. Panicked, you move farther into the apartment, but you fall backward and by pure instinct, crawl back as quickly as you can.
Despite claiming that he couldnât enter without your permission, the vampire falls to his knees, then all fours, to reach you. Youâve never seen anything as scary as the bloodthirsty creature grasping the air, trying to get you. He moves so quickly, and his hand is just about to grab your foot when itâs like⊠heâs held back by something.Â
You're breathing heavily, trying to understand whatâs happening. Why doesnât he just move another three centimeters? He licks his lips in frustration, exposing fangs that are definitely longer than you remember. Meeting his eyes, theyâre cold like never before, and he exhales angrily. Heâs still reaching for you, and frozen in your spot, you look over at him, briefly wondering if his feet got stuck or something when it hits you.
He canât step inside.
You sit there, your feet mere centimeters from his grasping hand when thereâs a sound down the hall, and in a split second, the vampire seems to snap out of it. He looks at you, appearing to realize what heâs doing and somehow gaining control over himself. Looking around, he gets up, and he leaves. Quickly and without a word.
Wide-eyed and with your heart beating painfully, you remain on the floor, wondering what the hell just happened. Even when his footsteps are long gone, youâre too afraid to get up and close the door, worried that heâll return and be able to reach you.Â
Youâd like a very serious word with whoever established the âno entering without permissionâ rule but also decided that the vampires could cheat it by keeping their feet outside and crawling inside.
You sleep a little uneasy the following nights, thinking a lot. Of course, your thoughts are mostly occupied by those cold, black eyes, thirsty for your blood.
<previous | next> happy halloween <3<3
#jungkook#bts#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook au#bts fanfic#bts ff#jungkook ff#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenario#jungkook series#bts jungkook#btswritersclub#bts angst#bts fluff#bts x you#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#jeongguk#vampire!jungkook#jungkook vampire#vampire bts#vampire jungkook
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Militiae Species Amor Est II
Militiae species amor est - "Love is a kind of war."
Re-read Part I Now!
a/n: if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know in the comments!
warnings: // a small threat of violence is made between Iris and her partner, but no physical contact is made. canon typical violence.
word count: 4.2k
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
You step cautiously into the grand halls of the estate, the place you once roamed as a little servant girl, where your bare feet had once echoed softly against the cold marble. The air is thick with the weight of memories, each one pressing heavily against your chest. This was the house where you had grown up, where you had once been invisible, and where your life had irrevocably intertwined with his.
A voice pulls you from your thoughts. It rings out, familiar and poised, yet carrying a tension you havenât heard before.
âIris. It has been quite some time.â
You turn sharply, your breath catching as you face Lucilla, the mistress of this houseâand the mother of the man youâve spent a lifetime aching for. She stands before you, as elegant and commanding as you remember, her beauty untouched by the years. For a moment, you falter, caught between the awe she still inspires and the fury simmering just beneath your surface. But thereâs no time to linger on reverence. Not now.
âWe need to help Lucius escape,â you say, your voice steady despite the fire raging in your chest.
Lucillaâs expression hardens, her posture as composed as ever. âYou are in no position to plot something like this. An engaged woman. A woman of low birth who has risen to a place of promise.â She steps closer, her gaze piercing, as if to drive the point deeper. âIt isnât safe for you.â
Her words land like a blow. You bristle, your hands curling into fists at your sides as anger floods through you. âYou mean to insult me? When you knowâwhen you must knowâthat I have loved your son since childhood?â Your voice rises, trembling with the weight of years left unspoken. âDo you truly believe that I could ever forget him? Forget the way we laughed, the way we cried, the way you sent him away as if he were nothing but an inconvenience? I have not had a single night of peaceful rest since that day! Not one!â
Lucillaâs carefully composed mask cracks, but you donât stop. The words pour out, sharp and unrelenting. âAnd you? As his mother, do you feel nothing? No anguish, no torment? Or do you simply find it easier to look away, to let him suffer alone? Now heâs hereâheâs here, Lucillaâand you expect me to sit back, to watch him fight the same fight that took his father from him? With no attempt to save him, no attempt to shield him from even more pain?â
The silence that follows feels deafening. For a moment, Lucilla looks at you as though sheâs been struck. Her lips part, trembling with words that wonât come. Then, to your shock, her face crumples, and tears begin to spill down her cheeks.
She crosses the space between you in an instant, wrapping you in an embrace that is both unexpected and suffocating. Her voice shakes as she speaks. âI subjected one child to a life of pain. IâI couldnât bear to see you suffer the same. Donât you see? Iâve only ever wanted you to find peace, Iris. Contentment. Thatâs whyââ She pulls back, her hands gripping your shoulders tightly. âThatâs why when Caiusâ father approached me, I agreed. I thought he could give you the life you deserved, one free of sorrow. I never meant to make you feel betrayed.â
You push her hands away, stepping back as the weight of her confession settles over you like a leaden cloak. âPeace?â Your voice is bitter, sharp as broken glass. âDo you truly believe I could ever find peace without him? All I ever wanted was your son. Not your pity. Not a life designed to ease your guilt.â
Tears well in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You straighten your spine, your voice unwavering. âIf you truly cared about me, you would have sent me with him. Instead, you left us both to live lives filled with nothing but longing and regret. So save your excuses, Lucilla. If you truly care now, then tell meââ Your voice hardens, each word a command. âTell me the plan to rescue Lucius.â
And she does. Through trembling breaths and tear-filled eyes, Lucilla tells you the planâhow her husband, Acacius, will orchestrate Luciusâs escape from the prison. She explains the carefully laid steps, each one steeped in risk, each one reliant on precision. But thereâs one missing piece.
âSomeone needs to warn him,â she says, her voice wavering as she meets your gaze. âHe has to know whatâs coming, or heâll resist. He wonât trust it.â
The moment hangs heavy between you, her words an unspoken plea. You donât hesitate.
âIâll do it,â you say firmly, the fire in your chest burning brighter now. âIâll warn him.â
Lucillaâs eyes widen, her lips parting as if to protest, but you shake your head, cutting her off before she can speak.
âNo one else knows him like I do,â you continue. âHeâll listen to me. Heâll trust me.â
For a moment, Lucilla studies you, her expression a war between doubt and something that almost looks like hope. Then, finally, she nods, her shoulders slumping under the weight of her choice.
âBe careful,â she whispers, her voice barely audible. But youâre already turning away, your mind focused on one thing: reaching Lucius.
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
The corridors of the barracks stretch before you like an endless void, every shadow a whisper of your guilt, every creak of the stone beneath your feet a reminder of what you stand to lose. Wrapped in a dark cloak, the cool air bites at your skin, but the ache in your chest burns hotter. You cling to the cover of night as you make your way toward Ravi, a gladiator-turned-medic who once saved soldiers from the edge of death. Tonight, you hope heâll save you in a different way.
When you reach his room, you knock softly, your voice barely above a whisper. âRavi.â
The door creaks open, his wary eyes scanning the hall before they settle on you. âWhat are you doing here?â he hisses. âYou shouldnât be anywhere near this place.â
âI wonât tell you the details,â you reply quickly, your voice trembling. âIf anyone questions you, I donât want you to lie on my behalf. All I ask is that you point me toward Hannoâlet me speak with him privately.â
Raviâs expression hardens, torn between caution and compassion. Finally, with a resigned sigh, he nods. âYou shouldnât do this,â he murmurs, but he leads you through the labyrinthine halls. When he stops outside a cell, his voice is heavy with warning. âHeâs in here. Be quick.â
Ravi pushes the door open slightly, just enough for the man inside to hear. âSomeone is here to see you, Hanno,â he announces.
Lucius turns at the sound of his name, his face hardening the moment he sees you. His jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing before he looks away sharply. âI have nothing to say to her,â he bites out, his voice rough, almost broken.
Your heart twists painfully at his words, but you nod at Ravi, signaling for him to let you in anyway. He hesitates, but when he sees the determination in your eyes, he steps back, locking the door behind you as you slip into the dimly lit cell.
Lucius stands with his back to you, his hands balled into fists at his sides. His silence is deafening, but you donât let it deter you. You step closer, the ache in your chest swelling with every step. Tears sting your eyes as you finally find the words youâve been rehearsing in your mind since the moment you decided to come here.
âI cannot begin to express how sorry I am,â you whisper, your voice trembling. âFor how I treated you. For what I said.â
He doesnât move, but you can see the slight tension in his shoulders. You press on, desperate to reach him.
âI never should have assumed you would return to this placeâto the pain, to the life youâve fought so hard to escapeâand risk everything for the very place that destroyed your family. It was selfish of me to ask, selfish to think I had that right. I suppose these emotions, these feelings Iâve tried so hard to bury, have clouded my judgment.â
His breathing slows, the air between you thick with words left unsaid. You take another step, your voice breaking now.
âBut know this, Lucius: you are far more than just a gladiator. Even before I saw you in those cursed games, you were so much more to me. You always have been. You were the boy who gave me his last piece of bread when I had nothing. The boy who made me laugh when the world felt too heavy. The boy whose soul captured mine long before I knew what love even was.â
His shoulders slump slightly, and though he doesnât turn, you see his hand tremble. The silence stretches, heavy with everything youâre too afraid to ask. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, raw with pain.
âAnd yet you stood there, questioning who I was,â he murmurs. âDoubting the choices I made to survive. Do you know what itâs like to have someone you love look at you as though youâre a stranger?â
The words cut deep, sharp as any blade, and tears spill down your cheeks. You move closer, desperate to bridge the distance, to close the chasm that has grown between you.
âI was wrong,â you whisper, your voice breaking. âI was so wrong. But I swear to you, Lucius, I have never stopped seeing the boy you were. And I will never stop loving the man youâve become.â
Lucius stares at you, his eyes swimming with emotions too tangled to name. The air between you crackles, heavy with unspoken words and the years of longing that have built into this single, fraught moment. You search his face for a sign that your words have reached him, that the wall heâs built is beginning to crumble.
Lucius's gaze burns into yours, his expression a tempest of anguish and desire, before he moves. His hands are on you in an instant, rough but careful, as though he's afraid you'll vanish if he doesn't hold tight enough. He presses you against the cold, damp wall of the cell, the chill of the stone seeping through your cloak and biting into your skin. It's grounding, sharp against the heat that erupts between you as his lips claim yours.
The kiss is everything you've imagined and nothing like it all at once-wild, desperate, and unrelenting. His hands frame your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks as if to memorize the feel of you. His lips are firm, demanding, pouring years of suppressed longing into the kiss. You can feel his ragged breaths mingling with yours, and the faint taste of salt from your shared tears lingers between you.
Your hands find his chest, trembling as they trace over the worn fabric of his tunic and the hard planes of his body. His heart is pounding beneath your palms, as wild and erratic as your own. When your fingers curl into the fabric to pull him closer, he growls low in his throatâa sound that sends a shiver racing down your spine.
The cold wall presses unyieldingly against your back as he leans into you, his body a solid, unmovable force. The contrast of cold stone and his scorching heat sets your senses ablaze. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as if he could somehow fuse the two of you together, and the pressure of his touch ignites a fire that consumes you whole.
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and you both struggle to catch your breath. His lips hover near yours, as though the distance is too much to bear, and his voice, rough and low, brushes over your skin.
 "Do you understand now?" he murmurs, his breath warm against your lips. "Do you see what you've done to me? You've been the only thing keeping me alive, Iris. Even when I hated the world, I still loved you."
Your tears spill freely as you clutch at his tunic, your voice trembling. "I see it, Lucius. I see it, and I feel it, because l've loved you just as fiercely.â
He tilts your chin up, his dark eyes softening, and his thumb brushes tenderly across your jaw. "Then let there be no more fear," he whispers before capturing your lips again.
This kiss is softer but no less consuming, filled with a desperate hope that perhaps the two of you, against all odds, can still claim the love that's been waiting for so long.
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
The sun blazes mercilessly as the crowd fills the arena, their cheers deafening and bloodthirsty. Your seat offers a clear view of the sand-covered pit, where the fighters enter with stoic faces and heavy chains. Among them is Lucius. Even in the sea of bodies, your eyes find him instantly.
He walks with his head held high, his shoulders squared. You can see the fire burning in him nowâa determination that wasnât there before, knowing that people are ready to rescue him. The weight of hope, of knowing freedom waits just beyond the reach of this hellish stage, has reignited something in him. Yet, the sight of him under the watchful eyes of guards and the jeering crowd still twists your stomach with dread.
Your fiancĂ©, Caius, sits beside you, oblivious to the storm raging within you. His hand rests possessively on your arm as if to remind everyoneâand perhaps himselfâof who you belong to.
When the fight begins, Lucius is relentless. His movements are sharper, faster, more focused than ever before. You watch in awe as he disarms one opponent and dodges anotherâs blade with a grace that feels almost otherworldly. But itâs not enough to calm your nerves. Every strike, every blow he lands only tightens the knot in your chest.
And then it happens. A spear slices across his shoulder, leaving a vivid trail of crimson in its wake. He stumbles, his hand instinctively going to the wound, and for a moment, your world stops.
You stand without thinking, your breath catching in your throat. âLucius,â you whisper, though the name escapes like a prayer rather than a call.
Caius turns sharply to you, his grip on your arm tightening. âWhat are you doing?â he hisses, his voice low but sharp. âSit down, Iris.â
But you canât. Your heart is pounding too loudly, drowning out his words. All you can see is the blood staining Luciusâs tunic, the grimace of pain that briefly flashes across his face before he forces himself back into the fight.
âIris!â Caius snaps, his voice rising now. âThis is unseemly. People are watching!â
You donât care. The moment the fight ends and Lucius is escorted out, you wrench free from Caiusâs grasp and run. His angry protests fade behind you as your sandals slap against the stone corridors leading to the medic chambers.
When you burst through the door, Ravi looks up in surprise. Lucius sits on a stool, blood dripping from his shoulder as Ravi prepares to clean the wound. His gaze snaps to you, and for a moment, he freezes, the stoic mask slipping to reveal something raw and unguarded.
âWhat are you doing here?â Ravi asks, his tone filled with warning.
But Lucius speaks first, his voice low and strained. âIris.â Your name on his lips feels like both a question and an anchor.
You cross the room in a rush, ignoring Raviâs protests and Luciusâs raised brow. âLet me,â you say softly, reaching for the cloth in Raviâs hand. Your fingers tremble as you press it against the wound, but you donât flinch.
Lucius watches you, his gaze piercing. âYou shouldnât be here,â he murmurs, but thereâs no anger in his voiceâonly concern.
âAnd you shouldnât be out there,â you reply, your voice breaking. âBut here we are.â
His hand rises, hesitating for a moment before it brushes against yours, smearing your skin with his blood. âIâll be fine,â he says, though his eyes betray him.
âNo, you wonât,â you whisper, tears slipping down your cheeks. âNot if I lose you.â
Ravi clears his throat awkwardly, stepping back. âIâll give you two a moment,â he mutters, leaving the room.
Lucius exhales shakily, his gaze never leaving yours. âIris, you have to be careful. If Caiusââ
âLet Caius think what he will,â you interrupt, your voice trembling with conviction. âI wonât sit by and do nothing while you suffer.â
In the space of a breath, his restraint snaps. "Damn Caius," he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse, just before his lips capture yours.
The kiss is wild and desperate, like a clash of willsâa battle neither of you is willing to lose.
His hands tighten around your waist as yours tangle in his hair, the metallic taste of blood faint on his lips, a reminder of the wounds he's endured. He kisses you with the fervor of a man who's fought too long to deny what he feels, each movement urgent and unyielding.
He lifts you onto the nearby table, the rough wood cold beneath your legs as papers and tools clatter to the ground, forgotten. You gasp against his mouth, but he doesn't falter, his body pressing into yours as if to prove something-to you, to himself, to the world that's tried to keep you apart.
Outside, the sound of footsteps halts, followed by a frustrated sigh. Ravi's voice mutters something inaudible, and you know he's standing there, trying to give you privacy while also likely cursing your recklessness.
Lucius pulls back just enough to look at you, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the narrow space between. "This is madness," he whispers, his voice rough and thick with emotion.
"Then let it be madness," you reply, your voice just as unsteady. Your hands trail down to his face, cupping his jaw as your thumbs brush over his cheekbones. "Because l'd rather have this moment than a lifetime of silence."
His lips crash against yours again, the kiss even fiercer than before, as though he's pouring all the words he can't say into the connection. His hands linger around your thighs, gradually pushing the hem of your dress higher and higher up your leg.
âLucius, Iââ Raviâs voice cuts through the haze, and you pull back abruptly, your chest heaving.
Lucius turns toward the door, his body instinctively shifting to shield you from Raviâs view, though itâs already too late. Ravi stands in the doorway, his face a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.
âI left you alone for mere minutes,â Ravi mutters, crossing his arms as his eyes dart between the two of you.
Heat rises to your cheeks, but you hold your ground, refusing to shrink beneath his gaze. âI was helping,â you say, your voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside you.
âAnd clearly youâve been very thorough in your assistance,â Ravi replies, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
Lucius steps forward, his voice low but firm. âEnough, Ravi. Youâve said your piece.â
Ravi exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. âIf anyone finds out about this, itâs not just you two whoâll pay the price. Keep that in mind.â He turns on his heel, muttering something under his breath as he leaves.
The door clicks shut, and silence settles over the room once more. Lucius looks at you, his eyes clouded with both regret and longing. âIâll deal with him,â he says softly, though his hand lingers at your side, as if reluctant to let you go.
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
The door slams shut behind you as you step into the quiet of your home, the night air still clinging to your skin. Your heart is pounding in your chest, adrenaline still coursing through your veins from the events that transpired just moments ago. You barely have a chance to steady your breath before Caius appears in the hallway, his sharp gaze locking onto you as he takes in the sight of youâdisheveled, hair slightly tousled, your dress still crinkled from the tension of the night.
âWhere have you been?â His voice is low, controlled, but thereâs an edge to it, an undeniable undertone of suspicion that you cannot ignore.
You swallow, forcing yourself to meet his eyes, a familiar lie already forming on your lips. âI was just out for a walk,â you say, trying to sound nonchalant, but thereâs a slight quiver in your voice that betrays you.
Caius takes a slow step forward, his eyes narrowing, scanning you with unsettling precision. He glances down at your dress, and for a split second, his gaze lingers on a small stain of blood near the hem. His face hardens.
âThat doesnât look like the mark of a walk,â he says, voice tight with suspicion. âWhere did you get this from?â
You freeze. The bloodâit wasnât from you, but from the hurried touch you had shared with Lucius. His words echo in your mind, Damn Caius. You can feel the weight of that kiss, the dangerous closeness, and the desperation in his touch. It lingers in your skin, like a brand that you canât erase.
âNothing happened,â you lie again, your heart racing in your chest. You want to scream, to tell him the truth, but fear clamps down on your throat. âI helped Ravi again, like I used to.â
Caius isnât fooled. His eyes flicker with recognition, and before you can take another breath, heâs stepping toward you, his hand gripping your wrist tightly. âTell me the truth,â he demands, his voice low and threatening. âYouâve been with him, havenât you? The Eagle of Rome.â
The mention of Lucius sends a shock of panic through you, freezing you in place. Noâyou try to deny it, but the truth is already written across your face. âI havenâtââ you start, but the words falter. You try to pull your wrist free, but his grip tightens, pulling you closer.
âDonât lie to me,â he growls, his voice a razorâs edge, the anger seeping through each word. His fingers are like iron, digging into your skin as he pulls you toward him. âI saw the way you looked at him in the stadium.â
Your breath catches in your throat, your pulse quickening as the weight of his accusation hits. Luciusâthe name lingers like a forbidden prayer. âI was helping all of the warriors today. I promise you, I didnât even touch him,â you snap, your voice shaking with a mixture of anger and guilt, but the words feel hollow, like a lie you want to believe but canât.
âStop!â Caius interrupts, his voice rising now, each word thick with rising fury. âYou think I donât know whatâs going on? That I havenât seen how youâve been sneaking around? How youâve been lying to me?â
His words hit you like a slap. In an instant, his frustration boils over, his anger flaring in his eyes. He moves toward you, forceful and sharp, and you stumble back into the wall, trying to escape his grasp. You gasp, your heart pounding as you try to steady yourself.
But before you can recover, Caius is right there, his face inches from yours, his breath ragged with fury. âYou have no idea what kind of reproach youâre bringing against our family,â he spits, his voice dangerously quiet now. âYour actions make us a mockery. The choices youâve madeâmake us look like fools.â
You stare at him, wide-eyed, your heart aching in your chest. His words cut deeper than you expected, and guilt rises in your throat. Heâs rightâthis has always been the choice, between him and Lucius. Between duty and love. But you couldnât let goânot when Lucius needed you, not when you were the only one who could do something for him.
âLet me go, Caius,â you whisper, your voice barely audible, as if asking for the smallest mercy. âPlease.â
But thereâs no mercy in his eyes now. Only betrayal, and the realization that whatever it is thatâs come between you, whatever feelings youâve tried to bury, are on the cusp of release. He stares at you, and for a moment, you think you see something softer in his gazeâbut itâs fleeting. He lets out a jagged breath, his grip still tight on your wrist.
âI never wanted this,â he mutters, almost to himself. âBut I canât keep pretending it doesnât hurt.â
You donât know what to say to that, because you feel the same way. Every word from his lips is a weight pressing you into the wall, and yet, you canât escape it.
âClean yourself up,â Caius says, stepping back. His eyes linger on you, raw and unrelenting. âAnd canât stand the sight of you right now.â
Caius turns away, his shoulders tense with unresolved anger, and the silence between you stretches, thick with unspoken truths. As he walks out, leaving you standing alone in the dimly lit room, you feel the weight of the choice youâve madeâand the painful certainty that nothing will ever be the same again.
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tag list: @willowpains
#lucius verus x y/n#lucius verus x you#lucius verus x reader#lucius verus#hanno x reader#gladiator ||#gladiator 2 fic#gladiator ii#paul mescal x reader#paul mescal#paul mescal fic
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Perfect
Summary: You`re insecure and your boyfriend, Spencer, thinks the absolute world of you, he trys everything to make you see what he sees.
Warnings: fem!reader, insecure reader, bad body image, comparing to fictional charecters, kissing, hurt/comfort?, not proof read, if i forgot anything; let me know, English is not my first language
WC: ~1k
A/N: I won`t be posting for about the next two weeks cause i have three exams, once exam season finally ends, Ill be able to post my many ideas that just seem to keep on coming. Until then, here`s a short Spence hurt/comfort fic MWAH
Perfect.
A word that feels as foreign to me as an alien language. Itâs something Iâm definitely not. No one is perfect, of course. But I feel like Iâm standing several miles farther from it than most.
Spencer calls me a lot of things: beautiful, pretty, cute, smart, hot, exquisite, funny, tantalizing, sexy, insatiable. The list is endless. If itâs complimentary, heâs said it at some point.
Except perfect.
Spencer is a man of science and logic, and logic dictates that perfection doesnât exist. Itâs an unattainable ideal, a concept too flawless to have a place in a messy world like ours. And yet, standing next to himâthis near-perfect personâI feel the ache of falling so much shorter than the mark.
There are people, though, who seem to come dangerously close.
One of the many things I love about Spencer is his love for books. He reads endlessly, often with the same devotion he gives to solving puzzles or understanding the human mind. Heâll bury himself in stories until his eyes droop, refusing to let fatigue stop him from finishing just one more chapter. And I know the women in those books, how theyâre described: Silky hair, impossibly soft skin, hypnotic eyes, lips meant to be kissed, figures sculpted to perfection, and smiles bright enough to light up the darkest corners.
Thatâs what perfection looks like, isnât it?
Itâs certainly not me.
I see myself every day in the mirror. No silky hair hereâjust strands that seem to have their own rebellious personality, refusing to fall in place no matter what I do. My skin? Far from flawless. My eyes? Ordinary, nothing mesmerizing about them. My lips are⊠lips. Not the kind poets write about. My body? Just a body. Functional. Unremarkable. My smile doesnât light up rooms; at most, itâs enough to convey, Hi, Iâm friendly, please donât ask me for directions.
Yet somehow, here I am, dating Spencer Reidâa man who feels carved by the hands of something divine. Itâs almost painful, how unfairly beautiful he is. Iâve searched for his flaws, scoured every inch of his personality, his quirks, his habits. Nothing. If theyâre there, theyâre too small for me to see. Heâs just⊠him. Perfect in all the ways that Iâm not.
Two soft knocks on the door break me out of my spiraling thoughts. Theyâre gentle yet deliberate, spaced so perfectly it feels like they were timed with precision. Of course, they were. This is Spencer weâre talking about. Even his knocks are perfect.
I drag myself toward the door, feeling the weight of my imperfections in every step. My fingers fidget with the hem of my sweater as I go. Itâs oversized and rumpled, the fabric hanging well past my wrists. My sweatpants cling stubbornly to my thighs but sag around my ankles. Iâm a mess, right down to the fluffy socks that glide across the floor I havenât bothered to clean in three weeks.
When I open the door, the sight of him steals my breath as it always does. Spencer.
His hair is perfectly disheveled, a chaotic tumble of curls that somehow looks intentional. His features are sharp, striking, and utterly unfair. His eyes hold the kind of depth that makes you feel like he sees every part of you, even the parts youâd rather keep hidden.
âHi,â he says, his voice soft and warm, and that smileâthe one that makes me feel like Iâm standing in the sunâgraces his lips.
âHey,â I manage, though my voice feels embarrassingly small in comparison.
âI missed you so much,â he says, stepping inside before I can respond. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into a hug that feels like home. He lifts me slightly, spinning us in a slow circle, and I canât help but laugh softly at the gesture.
âMe too,â I whisper, the words barely audible as my lips brush against his neck. When he sets me down, I press a kiss to his lips. Itâs brief but firm, enough to feel the spark between us ignite.
He pulls back just enough to look at me, his dark eyes roaming my face. His pupils are wide, the dim light of my apartment making them expand until they almost swallow the brown of his irises. He looks at me like Iâm something precious, something worth studying and memorizing.
âGod,â he breathes, his voice low and filled with something I canât quite name. âYouâre perfect.â
The air leaves my lungs. For a moment, it feels like the world has tilted on its axis. I open my mouth to respond, but the words wonât come. My thoughts are spinning, but all I can focus on is him, standing here, calling me perfect.
Could perfection exist after all? Maybe it does. Maybe itâs right here in front of me, holding me, looking at me like Iâm something extraordinary.
Or maybe perfection isnât about appearances. Maybe itâs about this feelingâthis warmth that spreads through me whenever Spencer is near. Maybe itâs about the way he sees me, flaws and all, and still calls me something I never thought I could be.
Perfect. Thatâs him.
Perfect. The word he used to describe me.
Perfect. The way I feel, despite my imperfections, whenever Iâm with him.
I blink back the tears threatening to spill, a soft laugh escaping my lips as I finally find my voice. âMm⊠so are you,â I whisper, leaning into him as his arms tighten around me.
And in that moment, I believe it. I believe that maybe, just maybe, perfection isnât about being flawless. Maybe itâs about being loved by someone who makes you feel like you are.
@emma-e-a
#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds comfort#spencer reid comfort#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds x you#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff
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Analysis: Why Jayce broke up with Mel in Arcane 2.08
Since the finale episodes of Arcane dropped this morning, I've been going back and re-watching some of my favorite scenes, and I was struck by Jayce breaking up with Mel.
First of all, yeah, he clearly does break up with her, though I missed how formally he does so on my first watch-through. He does it in the Council chamber, just before Viktor attacks. But since they get interrupted, he finishes breaking up with her (after checking in with her) on the balcony later.
But what really struck me about the breakup wasn't in those scenes, but actually back in 2.07, when Jayce is alone in cavern in the darkest timeline. I definitely didn't catch on the first viewing that this is where he chose to break up with her.
In the background, you can hear Jayce in the depths of his despair and solitude starts going over in his mind all the steps that led him to where he is.
Here are some of the quotes he hears:
"I never asked for this!" - Himself to Viktor, trying to justify his actions up to that point just before Viktor leaves him.
"This research is everything, my whole life," a quote from one of his first conversations with Viktor but, more importantly, it establishes Jayce's entire raison d'etre up to that point. Hextech research was his life.
"He was my mentor, Mel, and I betrayed him," obviously is Jayce discussing the coup d'etat against Heimerdinger he orchestrated to save Viktor, but it was with Mel's assistance and urging.
"You must destroy it. It corrupts. Consumes." A quote from Heimerdinger, warning against Hextech. Which must feel especially prescient now that Jayce is stuff in the evil bombed-out future where Hextech destroyed the world.
"I was trying to create magic." Jayce to the Council to defend his Hextech research and save himself from banishment, but, he only mentioned magic at Mel's goading, which I would guess he's beginning to recognize now for what it was in retrospect.
"It's your time now, Jayce." Mel, part of her goading of Jayce into advancing Hextech research and his political career.
"Perhaps it's time for the era of magic." Mel's words on the night she saw Hextech for the first time, after helping Jayce and Viktor break into Heimerdinger's lab.
"You must destroy it." Heimerdinger about the Hexcore, again, probably feeling pretty prescient right now with Jayce literally in the pit of despair in a the evil Hextech future.
Finally, while looking out over the fire while clearly going nearly insane from the isolation, Jayce begins to hallucinate seeing Mel. But then, her image in the fire gives way to Viktor's.
The decision has been made there. It's not just Jayce reflecting on his two closest loved ones (as I thought the first time), rather, it is the moment Jayce makes his decision: he is picking Viktor over Mel. He has decided that the reason he is here in this terrible place is because of Mel, not Viktor. He is choosing his partner, going back to what they had before she became involved in their life. His new course is set.
Now, I want to preface the next part by saying I love Mel, she's a fascinating character, and though I ship Jayvik I also ship/shipped MelJayVik, so this isn't coming from a place of bias. I'm just analyzing the material when I say these flashbacks were Jayce rearranging the narrative in his head and realizing Mel's been manipulating and goading him in his pursuit of Hextech.
Given where he is when this is happening: starving, freezing, in pain, alone for weeks if not months in a stone box, slowly going insane, surrounded by the burnt corpses of people destroyed by Hextech, I'd say... yeah. His need for someone to blame is pretty understandable. He even starts whispering, "No!" in a panic at the memories in response to what she says in his mind.
So when we get to the Council chamber in the main timeline in 2.08, I'd argue that Jayce is spoiling for a fight. He's had months of agony to decide things are over with Mel and that he's angry at her. He wants to blame her for what happened to Viktor, for what happened to him, and he's in pain and he wants to lash out. The relationship is definitely over.
But then Mel is in pain too. And Viktor shows up, with his own autonomy, showing that they all had their shitty parts to play in this drama.
The attack by Viktor adds another element, Jayce was probably also mourning that he had to shoot Viktor at that point, another thing that was painful and made him want to lash out and blame others for this horrible place he's in emotionally and the horrific place he's been in physically until recently.
It's only after Viktor's attack though that Jayce realizes that this situation is complex, it's not all Mel's fault. It would be easier to just pin all the blame on Mel and make Jayce and Viktor her victims, but Viktor shows to him that he has his own agency and Jayce needs to be clear-eyed going forward about who he is saving, because it's not "Mel's victim". Viktor is his own person.
Jayce also remembers some of the care he once had for Mel when he catches her before she falls (in a tender moment I mistook for a full reconciliation between them the first time but no, it's just him remembering he cares for her wellbeing). Jayce can't trust her anymore, after realizing just how adept she was at manipulating him without his realizing, but he does still care for her as a person. And he's cooled off enough to address the pain she is clearly carrying.
(I admit, I do love this moment of him calling himself an ass, because I adore Jayce but it's a lovely beat of self awareness and really shows his growth as a person that he can say this to someone that just hours before he was squaring up to fight against and blame for all his misfortunes.)
But anyway, the moments you really see that it's over between Mel and Jayce:
When he doesn't explain to her what happened to him. That's not for her to know anymore. He's decided that they're not together or intimate anymore. And he's probably still hurting from realizing how she's used what he told her in the past to encourage/manipulate him to her own ends and therefore wary of sharing. This is also a reason for the breakup: he can't share the immense pain he's been in because he can't trust her anymore, and he knows it. It's over.
In the scene on the balcony when he turns away from her instead of towards her before offering his advice. Jayce is very touchy-feely, he always offers physical comfort to his loved ones. But there, he deliberately turns away instead of taking her in his arms and comforting her. Again: it's over between them. But he still respects her. So he reminds her of how indomitable she is, along with offering the slight backhanded compliment born of his distrust for her: she's never the passenger, she is always the one in control. He knows, because he's realized she used to control him.
I've mentioned in other meta that this season deals in a lot of comeuppance for events in S1, and this is arguably Mel's. She'll be ok, she's got magical sun powers and she's the head of a powerful house now. But she doesn't get to keep Jayce in her life as her lover anymore after what she did, because she did manipulate him, even if she had good intentions mixed with the self-interested ones.
The trust is simply gone now. But he cares for her and wishes her well, so, I'd argue they parted on as good of terms as could be done.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayvik#jayce talis#mel medarda#it's about their relationship but I'm not putting it in that tag because it could come across as anti#but I'm not anti Mel this is just analyzing the text
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