#but he's not about to tell Julie and Carlos that

[innytoes]

okay well this is just screaming to be any of them vs Caleb:

"I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship, and this gun I found."

They weren't entirely sure how it worked. Sure, a magic glow-y hug of love had brought the boys back to life. And that had been a whole thing. But Alex wasn't able to bring Willie back to life with the same. And Julie hugging him hadn't done the trick either.

So they'd been really confused when Alex kissing Willie's cheek while Julie laughingly poked him had worked.

They'd done some more experiments. Luckily Willie had enough ghost friends who were willing to risk Caleb's wrath for a chance at escaping his stamp. Basically, Julie could see and hear ghosts, but not touch them. And if she touched someone else, they could see ghosts now too.

Flynn had been very pleased to learn Willie was also eye candy.

The guys could see ghosts, but now that they were lifers again, they couldn't touch them. But if Julie touched them, they could. Even though Julie couldn't.

All their experimenting had come to a rather abrupt end when Willie had realised his former boss was currently in Julie's former crush. He'd managed to stay out of Nick-slash-Caleb's sight, telling the guys, who told Julie.

Thankfully, Julie being awkward and trying to avoid Nick didn't raise too many suspicions. She'd always been awkward around Nick, and the way he'd been pseudo-stalking her after she blew up on social media was rather pathetic.

After a bit of experimentation with possession (and a new trauma for Fuego, who did not enjoy knowing what being a teenage girl on her period was like), Julie had figured out how to basically yeet a ghost out of Nick.

The showdown happened behind a Denny's, because of course it did. They'd tried to get Nick alone after school, or at the studio, but Carrie had unwittingly put a stop to their plans. So Denny's parking lot at 1 AM it was.

Getting Caleb out of Nick wasn't that hard.

She just... forgot that they needed a step two after that plan.

"Do you have any idea what you're up against?" Caleb Covington asked, sneering down from where he was towering over an unconscious Nick. "Sure, your little trick worked, but how do you plan to defeat me?"

Julie, though, was backed by her band. Her family. Her best friend, and her little brother, whose 'ghost busting pack' had really just been a fire extinguisher. Still, it had blinded Nick-slash-Caleb long enough that Julie had been able to push the evil magician out of him.

""I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship," she said, sounding way more confident than she felt. Still, if Sunday afternoon cartoons and a magic hug that brought her band back to life taught her anything, it was that love made a lot of things possible.

"And this gun I found," Willie casually said, grabbing hold of Julie's hand with his left, before aiming and firing with his right.

A lot happened after that. Screaming. Caleb exploding into a million pieces of purple glitter. More screaming. Willie cackling 'I can't believe that worked'. Sirens in the distance. A lot of running.

Somehow, they ended up back in the studio, a passed out, glitter covered Nick dumped into the shower by Luke (Reggie cheerfully hosing him off), Flynn and Alex pacing in equal pace but opposite directions, and Julie all but hyperventilating on the couch.

"Where did you even find that gun?" Carlos asked. He was remarkably calm about the whole thing. In fact, the only thing he seemed to be upset about is that his go-pro hadn't been turned on.

Willie shrugged. "Around."

"Did you know that would work?"

"I took an educated guess."

"How'd you get so good at firing a gun?"

"The arcade."

Silence, except for the sounds of a spluttering Nick waking up in the bathroom.

"What do we do now?" Julie asked, a little lost.

"Dance party," Willie said with a resolute nod.

"Dance party?"

"Dance party!" Willie said, dodging Alex and Flynn and grabbing a random CD to put in the player.

So, they danced.

[welcometololaland]

is it crazy of me to have a firm belief that Carlos is a Cancerian? he's a homebody, nurturing, slightly insecure (see: 3 x 13) and feels very deeply (even though he might not be the best at communicating his feelings). am I wild for this??? I'm not a zodiac master but this just makes sense to me ♋️🦀

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 | 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐨

summary: nobody can keep up with your growing list of hobbies, except fernando.

pairing: fernando alonso x brazilian!fem!reader

content warning: fluff and humor. explicit language.

from, serene: requested by and written for @loomiscorpse 🤍 i promised that i would write this for you in july and i finally found the time to fulfill it! this is how i learned fernando has a back tat. what rock have i been living under? happy reading, babes xxx

(in case i'm m.i.a., there's a category 5 hurricane that's looks pretty serious. i'm probably going to have a power outage. prayers to anyone else in the path of the storm, evacuate if you're on the west coast, and stay safe.)

⌕ join taglist | upcoming chapters | table of contents ↻

igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!

[caption1; sip and paint with the ladies 👩🏽‍🎨🎨 carmenmmundt kellypiquet][caption2; for my first painting, this is good right?]

alexandrasaintmleux: i'll put it in a gallery 🤩 alexandrasaintmleux: i can't believe i'm friends with the best artist of our time 😌 yourinstagram: alex pleaseee omg 😳🤭 yourinstagram: you realize that means you think i'm better than claude monet right ? alexandrasaintmleux: ,,,second best artist of our time yourinstagram: 😆😆😆

fernandoalo_official: looks beautiful 😍 yourinstagram: you really think so??? fernandoalo_official: yes i like what you did with the colors and brush strokes of course yourinstagram: what detailed compliments meu bem 😂

carmenmmundt: i still don't believe that you've never painted before 🤨 carmenmmundt: you did so well !!!!!! yourinstagram: thank you my love 🥰 yourinstagram: i think i am going to keep painting. it was very fun! carmenmmundt: you should! you're quite good at it :)

instagram • yourinstagram

liked by heidiberger_, fernandoalo_official, francisca.cgomes and 101,723 others

yourinstagram encontro noturno em cores 🖼️

view comments

user1: ptbr to eng translation "date night in color 🖼️"

user2: wow!!! you improved so much already! have you been taking lessons?

➥ yourinstagram: thank you! the only lessons i'm learning are from youtube haha ➥ yourinstagram: and i have painted every day since i started! ➥ user3: you definitely have a natural talent for this! and a lot of potential!!! ➥ user4: it's taken me years to develop a minimal understanding of color theory and shadows. she's done it in two weeks 😕

user5: i know leonardo hates that he didn't paint this 😩😩😩

➥ user6: he's rolling in his grave for sureeee 🙂‍↕️ ➥ user7: bitch why tf would a ninja turtle be mad about this ☠️ ➥ user8: leonardo DA VINCI YOU UNEDUCATED CUR ➥ user7: my fault forgot the turtle wasn't the only person named leo 🫣🫠 ➥ user8: HOW DO YOU FORGET THE MAN WHO PAINTED THE MONA LISA ⁉️⁉️⁉️

pepemartiofficial: i loved doing art in school! i can teach you a few things if you want 😁😁😁

➥ yourinstagram: you mean primary school? which was like last year for you? i think i'll pass garoto 🥴 ➥ fernandoalo_official: josep maria marti sobrepepa don't piss me off. ➥ fernandoalo_official: test me and you can say goodbye to a formula one seat. ➥ user9: ain't no way pepe just tried to step to fernando's girl who's TEN !!! years older than him ➥ pepemartiofficial: shhh i can be mature for her 🤤 ➥ fernandoalo_official: count your days 🥱

carlossainz55: the painting is really good, you made the water look so realistic!

➥ yourinstagram: obrigada carlitos! ➥ carlossainz55: where's fernando's painting 😈 ➥ yourinstagram: it was very good! but he did not want me to post a photo of it :((( ➥ fernandoalo_official: it was very ugly carlos 🙄 ➥ yourinstagram: it was not that bad i just could not tell that it was supposed to be a tiger and not a house cat that was struck by lightning 😅 ➥ carlossainz55: i will pay to see this painting 🤣🤣🤣

twitter

igstory • astonmartinf1 just uploaded!

[caption1; admin was just forcibly handed bear coasters ??? she said they remind her of lance 🐻][caption2; the crochet culprit is on to her next project!]

user: lance bear agenda still going strong 💪

lance_stroll: i want bear coasters 😞 astonmartinf1: meet me downstairs, she gave me extras to hand out to the team lance_stroll: she's the best 🤩🤩🤩 lance_stroll: see you in 5?

user: DUDE she's onto clothes already??? how?!!!

user: admin i need you to send me photos of that sketchbook 👺🤲🏻 user: i need her patterns admin i'm not playing around astonmartinf1: lol get blocked loser 💀

instagram • fernandoalo_official

liked by carlossainz55, lance_stroll, yourinstagram and 234,586 others

fernandoalo_official there is yarn and hooks in my car. this has gone too far.

view comments

yourinstagram: you make a man a shirt with the materials HE bought for you and it's a problem. ungrateful behavior nano 😤

➥ fernandoalo_official: the shirt is very nice i even posed for a picture. all i ask is for no hooks to be left in the cupholders? ➥ yourinstagram: can we compromise and i leave them in the glove box 🥺

user10: let me get this straight: you crochet for a month and suddenly you become a fashion designer?

➥ yourinstagram: not a month, three weeks* i have been crocheting ➥ user11: oh fuck off- how are you good at everything 😩😩😩 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not! and i still cannot make a granny square no matter how hard i try to ☹️ ➥ user12: you don't need to know how to make a granny square when you can make actual pieces of clothing!!!

landonorris: may i have something crocheted too?

➥ yourinstagram: what would you like landinho 😊 ➥ landonorris: may i have a beanie? or a sweater?? ➥ georgerussell: ooooh i'd like a beanie too! ➥ francisca.cgomes: i want that top you're wearing! or something similar!!!! ➥ lance_stroll: what about earmuffs? ➥ lilymhe: a cardigan would be so nice ➥ charlesleclerc: i want a sweater!!! ➥ fernandoalo_official: leave her alone you greedy children 👹 ➥ yourinstagram: ignore him! text me what you all want with inspiration photos and i will let you know!!!

messages • sebastian -> fernando

igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!

[caption1; hobby update >>>][caption2; to the woman at the craft store who put me onto oil paints...you saved my life][caption3; the wag crochet requests are almost finished!][caption4; first pottery class! had a really fun time :)]

user: i-i need to sit down👄 user: how do you even have time to do all of this?

user: i feel like i've never taken my hobbies seriously after seeing this

user: ffs how long have you been doing pottery? user: it's hard to learn at first but it's worth it if you stay committed 🫶🏽

instagram • yourinstagram

liked by charlesleclerc, lilymhe, francolapinto, and 192,037 others

yourinstagram que divertido! thrown, painted, and fired by me 🌸

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user13: this is a reminder that there's always somebody out there doing what you love better than you 😒

➥ user14: wasn't she JUST at her first pottery class? and she already has a set of dishware 😨

user15: i feel like i have to apologize for even attempting pottery

user16: i would hate to give my gift after her on birthdays and christmas 😬😬😬

➥ user17: valid take. she can make custom clothes, paintings, and ceramics??? i might as well not even show up 🤦🏻‍♀️

kellypiquet: where do you even find the time to do this?

➥ yourinstagram: i have not slept for more than five hours in a very long time. it also distracts me when nano is away so, i keep myself busy. ➥ kellypiquet: please take better care of yourself! the clay will be there after you sleep and i'm sure fernando would like you to sleep too. ➥ fernandoalo_official: 8 hours at least mi amor ❤️ ➥ yourinstagram: fiiiiine 😞

lance_stroll: bring the domino set next time! i want to learn how to play!!!

➥ yourinstagram: i will make you cry if we play dominoes 🤫

user18: you need to start an etsy shop or smth? i think anybody would buy something from you!

➥ yourinstagram: if i do that, i'm afraid it would stop being a hobby and become a job. i don't want to lose the love i have for them :) user19: you could do limited releases? or just list a few items at a time? yourinstagram: i guess that's true. i don't think i will though, i didn't start my hobbies to make money. it's just fun for me 😁

twitter

igstory • fernandoalo_official just uploaded!

[caption; onto the next obsession]

user: damn you didn't lie about the entire botantical collection 😧 user: she's crazy user: i respect her grind though

user: and she made them look like actual boquets 😍 user: why didn't i think of that???

yourinstagram: they are not obsessions. yourinstagram: the proper term is hobby, we have talked about this nano 😒 fernandoalo_official: do you want the vespa or the bonsai…🤨 yourinstagram: both por favor! and get the porsche 911 kit while you are there 😚😚😚😚😚😚

user: she crocheted her own cover up dress user: i love women 🙂‍↕️

instagram • yourinstagram

liked by fernandoalo_official, kellypiquet, landonorris, and 317,940 others

yourinstagram um hobby? ok. quatro hobbies ao mesmo tempo? não repita meus erros 🤕

view comments

user20: ptbr to eng translation "one hobby? ok. four hobbies at the same time/once? do not repeat my mistakes 🤕"

➥ user21: thank u translator woman ➥ user22: thank u translator woman ➥ gabrielbortoleto_: thank u translator woman ➥ user24: one of these things is not like the others 🧐

landonorris: can't wait till it gets chilly in monaco 😌

➥ landonorris: the only thing i'm going to be photographed in is my crochet beanie and sweater ➥oscarpiastri: i'm surprised you're not wearing it now since you're perpetually cold ➥ landonorris: i didn't want to bring it in my luggage in case it's the time i lose my luggage 🤓 ➥ oscarpiastri: wow…that's smart ➥ landonorris: why do you sound so surprised 🤨

lilymhe: i see you learned how to make granny squares 😆

➥ yourinstagram: it took me three whole days to make one 🤧 ➥ lilymhe: damn 💀 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not lying when i say making that first granny square was harder than making your cardigan 😮‍💨

fernandoalo_official: is it weird if i feel proud of you?

➥ yourinstagram: i think it is something to be proud of :) ➥ fernandoalo_official: well i am very proud of you mi amor 😘 ➥ yourinstagram: 🥰😚😚❤️❤️❤️

user25: those paintings!!!! woah, you're like a serious artist now 😨😳😱

➥ user26: fr! you can see her own unique style clearly in these! ➥ yourinstagram: you all are too sweet! it took me a while to switch from reference painting into creating my own art pieces! ➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i wasn't joking when i said i want to put your work in a gallery 🤭🥱 ➥ yourinstagram: alex pleaseee 😖

user28: what are you going to do next? book binding LMAO

➥ yourinstagram: you are right! nano is out buying the supplies for me now 😁 ➥ user28: i was joking 😟 ➥ yourinstagram: and after that i think i am going to learn how to make a cute scrapbook!

© httpsserene - do not repost. photos used are from pinterest.

[goldenroutledge]

we were liars

pairing: carlos sainz x fem!reader

word count: 8.4k

summary: inspired by taylor swift’s cruel summer.

warning(s): angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, baku ‘24 crash, mutual pining, two stubborn idiots in love basically.

a/n: this has been a long time coming! longest thing i’ve written in years and i loved every minute of it! enjoy <3

They say there’s no place like home. Whether that’s a person or a feeling, it’s hard to tell. Every summer allows you to figure that out, but at what point do you lose hope in trying? At what point do you resign to the feeling of wanting someone so badly, knowing they’re impossible to have? At what point do you stop torturing yourself into facing that fact?

Seeing as it was impossible to decline Carlos’ invitation to join his summer vacation, finding answers would be a hopeless pursuit. Not that you were paying close attention or anything, but plans were always tentative around this time of year. Knowing that whenever he calls, you’ll answer. It’s always around mid-late July, many nights during the race weekends that have you awake in the middle of the night, on the receiving end of his late night thoughts. It’s by that point in the season that Carlos begins to feel restless, carrying more doubts in his ability than he’d care to admit.

But he’s only human. He needs a break. He needs to retreat back to the solace that calms the soul, an unfamiliar peace that he doesn’t stop craving until he sees you again. For most months out of the year, Carlos settles on the sight of you running through his imagination until he musters the courage to give you a call. He settles once again when he wishes you sweet dreams to mask the three words and eight letters that rest on the tip of his tongue. Just friends or not, Carlos settles for having you in his life any way he can. You’ve already attended the many races he’s asked you to come to, sometimes with less than a day’s notice. Summer break is the reunion you both can count on, always overdue no matter how much time you’d spent apart.

The journey to the house has your mind buzzing with possibilities, or theories, as to how your dynamic with Carlos will be. Will you pick up like you never left off? Will you keep pretending that nothing’s changed between you two? For now, you’d have to put that on hold. Given that Lando had been accepted as an honorary member of the Sainz family, it was no surprise to see him, tan as ever, answering the door at Carlos' vacation home. “Y/n! Long time no see!” He greets you with a bright smile and a hug, offering to help you with some of your bags.

“No kidding, it’s nice to see you too!” You smile warmly, eyes instinctively drifting past him in search of his best friend and former teammate. “How’s your break so far?”

“Much needed.” He sighs, gathering your bags in an attempt to take them all in one trip. Lando starts rambling about his triumphs and defeats so far this season at McLaren, feeling comfortable enough to divulge his true thoughts in your company, sans the media training.

Any remarks you had in response suddenly leave you, heart melting under the gaze of those gorgeous brown eyes you know so well. Carlos’ lips turn up into a smile at the sight of you, eagerly opening his arms to meet you in a crushing embrace. “Look who made it to Mallorca!”

Your smile spreads so wide that your cheeks begin to hurt, not that you care. “I wouldn’t miss it. You know I’m not one to pass on a free vacation.”

“Ah, come on.” He grumbles at your teasing words. “Tell me you didn’t miss me, too.” You both relax in each other’s arms, never pulling too far away. To see him like this, up close and personal, feels like a dream. His hair hasn’t been cut in a while and you admire how handsome the length looks on him.

“Maybe a little bit. But it’s not like we haven’t been on the phone nonstop. We always keep in touch.”

“That’s true, but those phone calls don’t beat the real thing. They’re not even close.” Carlos runs a finger underneath your chin, so quickly that if he didn’t have your full attention, you would’ve missed it. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Who would’ve thought you would be so happy to see little old me when you’re rubbing elbows with the rich and famous every weekend. You have it all.”

He smiles, but shakes his head in playful disagreement. “Not everything.”

“Ahem.” Lando clears his throat, still visibly struggling with your luggage at the front door. “Hate to burst your little love bubble but would anyone care to help me carry this?”

His interruption startles you and Carlos, causing you both to retract from the other’s hold and stand at a very platonic and appropriate distance away from each other. Not that you were just caught in anything unusual, but it sure felt like your parents just saw your prom date kissing you goodnight on the front porch.

“Jesus Y/n, is your suitcase full of bricks or something?”

“Just bikinis.” You laugh, not missing the way Carlos wiggles his eyebrows at you before going to help poor Lando carry your bags upstairs. “Gotta get my money’s worth out of them. Not all of us get paid millions to drive in circles, you know.”

Lando scoffs. “We’re only here for a week. How many of them could you possibly need?”

“She needs options, cabrón.”

“See, Carlos gets it. What’s wrong with you?”

“Sure. Defend her.” Lando snides at the Spaniard. “I’ll remember that.”

—

The summer holiday not only gave you an opportunity to restore your serotonin levels and forget that the outside world existed, but it was also a chance to reconnect with the people you hold dear. (Sometimes) Lando, Carlos, and of course his sister Ana. Being close with Carlos’ family was a packaged deal with anyone he was also close to himself. The four of you together made for unforgettable memories. The day had been spent on the water, with Carlos showing off his ability to pilot something other than a Formula 1 car.

“Enough of the boring conversation please!” Ana interjects Lando & Carlos’ chatter about their latest golf game, wanting to revert the conversation back to something interesting at dinner. “I have a burning question I need to ask Y/n. And I know that somebody here would love to know the answer. So, who are you dating?”

Her question changes the mood suddenly, a mix of interest and curiosity filling the atmosphere. It takes you by surprise even though you don’t have to pause to think about it because the answer is simple. It’s not complicated, even if your feelings for the man sitting across from you are anything but.

“I’m not dating anyone.”

This draws a dramatic gasp from your friend beside you, one that conceals a subconscious sigh of relief from Carlos.

“What do you mean? How is that even possible?”

You chuckle at Ana’s amazement, feeling unexpectedly shy with your love life being the topic of conversation. “It just is. I’m not really interested in dating anybody right now.” As if Carlos wasn’t listening closely before, he sure is now. The inquisitive looks you receive from each of your friends prompts you to explain yourself further. “I mean what’s the point, you know? If I don’t see a future with someone, why would I put myself through that? Knowing it’s gonna end in disappointment.”

“I’m just saying, you’re way too hot to be single. Isn’t that right, Carlos?” Ana defends, smirking at the harmless embarrassment she’s pushing on her brother. He shoots her a sharp look and draws a pained gasp from her when he (harmlessly) kicks her shin under the table. Carlos clears his throat to hide it, but their interaction is evident, and ever true to their sibling dynamic.

“She’s right. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

The tips of your ears burn at his compliment, but you know he’s only saving himself. He’s the gentleman everyone knows him to be and adores him for by giving you a line that’s been written into romantic comedies since they came to be. “Thanks, Carlos.”

His heart clenches at your words, unable to tell if you really believe it or not. He knows that his statement was vague and it toes the line of friendship more than he would like, but he’s also at a loss. How could he even begin to describe the ways he loves you, or notices everything about you, big and small? How he lied when he said anyone would be lucky to have you, knowing that most people wouldn’t even come close to deserving the love you have to offer. He knows that he’s not supposed to feel this way, let alone tell you and destroy the friendship you have. Locking eyes with you across the table, he wishes you could read his mind. Instead, he settles for a polite smile.

—

Once the boat is docked, it doesn’t feel right to abandon the sunset and head back to the house. The air on the beach is crisp, smelling of the clear waters and reflecting the pink and golden hues of the setting sun. Lando and Carlos are the last to leave the boat, carrying a beer cooler to where you and Ana sit down in the sand.

Carlos hands you a drink before taking a comfortable seat next to you. The silence is tranquil as you rest your head on his shoulder, admiring the gifts that Mother Nature has to offer. A warm feeling envelopes Carlos as he peers down at you, one that he can’t pass off as just the alcohol starting to move through his system. He wants to commit this moment to memory. If he’s settling for this, then he isn’t settling at all.

“We should play Truth or Dare.” Lando suggests, growing bored of the silence, though it was nice while it lasted. His expression turns puzzled at the looks he receives from the rest of you. “What? It’s fun.”

“If you weren’t a Formula 1 driver, you would’ve made one hell of a frat boy.” You tease, Ana and Carlos agreeing with you.

Lando sighs. “I know. What a waste right?”

“But then we would’ve never become teammates.”

“You’re right.” Lando chuckles, toasting his drink with Carlos’ at the realization.

“I’ll go first.” Ana speaks up, interrupting the boys before they could get too deep into their side chatter. Judging by the closeness she’s seen from you and her brother, what’s the harm in trying to help things along? “Carlos, truth or dare?”

Carlos takes a sip of his drink before throwing his head back dramatically. By his sister’s not so subtle hints throughout the night, and really every time you are in each other’s presence, he can feel where this is going. Yet a part of him isn’t mad at it.

“Truth.”

“Boooor-ing.” Lando sneers and you can’t help but giggle. Ana gives him a look as if to say, not so fast.

“Are you in love?”

Lando regrets ever saying anything in protest, as he nearly chokes on his beer once Ana finishes her sentence. Given what he knows, it’s impossible for him to not die of laughter at the scenario. Watching Carlos fight for his life on this question tops any interview moment they’ve had inside a Formula 1 paddock. Carlos pauses, which luckily for him can be passed off as pure concern for his best friend that’s currently gasping for air.

Your chest feels tight at the question, not expecting Ana to go there. You know Carlos’ life being on the road as a very rich and attractive athlete probably isn’t one of abstinence, but you can’t deny that it doesn’t crush you to imagine someone else having the key to his heart. You take a few gulps from your drink and it makes you worry that if this keeps up all night, there won’t be any alcohol left for you to drown your feelings in. They’ll just stay trapped inside of you with nowhere to go.

“Yes. I’m in love… with life.” Carlos professes, looking around with gratitude, raising his arms up as if to give thanks to the beautiful scenery around you.

Ana scoffs. “That’s not my question! I asked are you in love. As in, with someone. Perhaps even someone next to you.” She speaks the last part quickly, feigning innocence as she looks between you.

“Please, Carlos and I are just friends.” You brush off her words, knowing how she can be sometimes when she believes in something. Relentless; just like Carlos is. A trait you can’t help but admire in them both. Lando laughs in disbelief, making kissing sounds to contradict you. Carlos’ smile falters, eyebrows scrunching together ever so slightly. It’s impossible to tell if he’s hurt at your dismissal of only seeing him as a friend, or just annoyed at the antics that are a nuisance to what was supposed to be a peaceful evening.

“We talk all the time, Anita. I think you already know the answer.”

Ana shrugs. “It’s the rules, Carlos. You picked truth, so you have to answer.”

“Yeah! Spill the beans, Carlos.” Lando encourages. “And don’t worry about me, I can take it.”

“Easy, cabrón.” He warns, glancing between his best friend and his impatient sister as they wait for him to answer. Finally, his gaze lands on you, quietly sitting beside him through all of their quips. He’d be lying if he said it doesn’t hurt to know you don’t hold him in a higher regard than friendship entails. Yet the weight pulling at his heartstrings isn’t one he feels the need to bear anymore. You may never know the full truth, but that’s just another thing Carlos feels the need to let go of. “The answer is yes. I am in love.”

While the summer weather is nothing but serene, the storm inside of you is the complete opposite. You feel like throwing up. Leave it to Lando to suggest a fun, light-hearted game to stir things up. You paste on a smile, trying with everything you have to hold Carlos’ gaze and make your ‘just friends’ statement feel like reality. The emotion glossing over your eyes betrays you. “That’s great, Carlos. I’m happy for you.”

He can’t shake the unsettling feeling that’s consuming him. Whether it’s the guilt of omitting a very important detail to that answer or the fact that you don’t seem disturbed at the thought of him with someone else. Ana and Lando share an incredulous look, unable to understand how two people can be so oblivious to one another while also being unable to look away from them. “So that’s it?” Lando mumbles, but his quiet tone isn’t much competition for the silence that’s fallen over the group.

Carlos pretends that he can’t feel the disappointment in the air, turning his attention to his friend and choosing to carry on with the game. “Lando, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Lando says cooly like it’s obvious.

“Okay.” Carlos ponders, thinking carefully as to how he’s gonna get his payback. The awkward tension between you could’ve been avoided entirely had Lando not mentioned this stupid game at all. “I dare you to… jump into the water with all your clothes on.”

“So the opposite of skinny dipping? But we have no towels!”

“Exactly.” Carlos raises his eyebrows pointedly. He can’t think of a better punishment than to make Lando sit here shivering until he can find comfort under a scalding hot shower. “Unless you are too scared…”

“Never too scared.” Lando argues, already making a mold in the sand for his drink to sit while he’s gone. “I’ll do it, on one condition. Y/n comes with me.”

“No.” Carlos answers for you, almost immediately. “That’s not in the rules, remember?”

“Come on, live a little.” Lando looks between the two of you, hoping he can make a convincing argument. If he doesn’t liven up the mood now, he’ll consider this game a wash. “How about this, if you join me, you don’t have to answer any questions or do any dares. You’ll have immunity.”

You raise your eyebrows at his idea, intrigued. You’d do almost anything to distract yourself from what just happened with Carlos. “How can I say no to that?”

“You can’t.”

“You can.” Carlos objects, placing a protective hand on your shoulder. “And you will. Come on Y/n, you could get sick. It’s getting chilly out.”

Lando scoffs at his hypocrisy. “Oh, so now you’re concerned? Because who cares if I get sick, right?”

You look between the two men, and then to Ana, who shrugs undecidedly as if to say it’s up to you. Carlos’ eyes are pleading, hoping to get through to you before you do something you might regret. Then again, these are the same eyes that looked into yours minutes ago and told you he’s in love with someone else. You don’t need to listen to his concerns, you don’t owe that to him. Drinking what’s left in your bottle, you accept Lando’s hand to help you up before making a run for it towards the water.

The two of you disappear under what’s now the nighttime sky, the moonlight shining bright enough to lead the way. It isn’t until you’re just about there, that one wrong step onto a bottle hiding in the sand halts your movements, causing a sharp cry to escape your throat as a sharper cut of glass slices into your foot. Lando barely makes it to the water when he realizes you’re no longer beside him, instantly turning around to see that you’re bleeding. “Oh fuck, are you alright?” He places a hand on your shoulder, trying to examine the injury but comfort you the best way he can.

A string of curses fall from your lips, language more characteristic of a sailor than your normal self. “What does it look like? Holy shit, it hurts!”

“Carlos!” Lando calls out, unable to peel his eyes away from your foot.

Both Carlos and Ana were already watching the scene unfold, and Carlos wasted no time in rushing to your side within seconds, Ana following closely behind from down the beach. “Y/n? What happened?”

“I stepped on this– fuck– that bottle.” You nod over to the bottle, a couple feet away from you. Carlos’ heartbeat quickens at the sight of you, clearly distressed and in pain, but knows he can’t afford a freezing moment of panic. He removes the thin linen shirt he’s wearing to wrap around your foot and compress it, in hopes the bleeding will stop.

Lando takes a step back when you remove your hands from where they clutched your injury, trying to catch his breath as he feels lightheaded at the sight, glass piercing your skin deeply. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Carlos and Ana pay him no mind, as Ana rests a hand on your knee soothingly while Carlos goes to wrap up your foot with his shirt. But you are just as quick to stop him. “It hurts, Carlos.”

“I know, I know, but we have to stop the bleeding. This cut is deep.”

“Removing the glass will only make it worse.” Ana falters, knowingly it’s not what you want to hear. “We need to get you to a hospital.”

“You’re probably right, I think I need stitches.”

“We will get you there.” Carlos assures. “Just breathe with me, can you do that?”

You nod, fighting the pull of unconsciousness as your eyelids flutter shut. Clearly Lando has to do the same, feeling dizzy at the sight. He wanders over to where the bottle lay broken in the sand, a wave of guilt washing over him when he realizes the label reads Estrella Galicia. Carlos’ favorite beer, the same one they happened to have an abundance of in the cooler today. A bottle they must’ve dropped by accident when making their way up the beach.

Ana tells you that she’s going up to the house to find Carlos’ keys to drive you all to the emergency room. Lando finishes picking up the pieces of the broken bottle, heading inside to dispose of them. It’s just you and Carlos now. Not that you bothered to care who you were alone with at this moment, but you feel safe.

You notice your heavy breathing has slowed down in tune with his as he gently secures the fabric around your foot. “You will be okay Y/n, I promise.” Considering how out of it you are, you nearly miss the feeling of his lips kissing your forehead chastely. Before you can wonder how the hell you would be walking up the beach, Carlos is effortlessly lifting you off the ground and carrying you in his arms. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”

—

“Don’t do that.” Ana nudges her brother’s shoulder, trying to snap him out of his thoughts.

“Do what?”

“Get in your head like you do. She’s gonna be fine.”

“She’s right.” Lando chimes in. “It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, it’s your fault.” Carlos snaps back at him.

“What did I do?”

“I told you not to take her with you. It wasn’t a good idea and clearly I was right.”

Lando rolls his eyes. “She wanted to. And if you wanna talk about fault, it was an Estrella Galicia she stepped on. That bottle fell out of our cooler.”

Carlos felt that tightening feeling in his chest again, a mix of guilt and shame brewing into something far more intoxicating than what he’s had to drink tonight. “I would never be so careless.”

“None of us would be. It was an accident, that’s the point. It’s not like she blames any of us for what happened.”

“She might.”

“Carlos, stop it.” Ana interjects, watching him with concern as he leans forward, hands clasped together while his mind is in deep thought. “She would probably slap both of you if she heard what you’re saying right now.” Ana proceeds to retrieve some money from the bag she hurriedly grabbed before leaving for the hospital, asking Carlos to get some chips from the vending machine. There wasn’t much she could do about the bickering between him and Lando except try to diffuse it by separating them. She knows how stubborn her brother can be and knows that his attitude won’t go anywhere until he sees you.

Carlos certainly doesn’t feel like himself, sluggishly moving down the hall, unable to break his train of thought. The fact that you got hurt on his watch, still unaware of how he feels about you has his heartstrings tangled in knots. The most unbelievable part being that despite the intensity of his Formula 1 career, he’s never felt as on edge as he does right now. It’s both exciting and scary that you’ve seemed to wedge yourself a little closer to his heart than the sport that’s defined his life.

When he sees you with Ana or Lando, he envies them. He envies the authenticity that defines your friendships with them, the feeling of being able to say what’s on your mind without a care, knowing they’ll never lose you. He wonders what that’s like, he craves to have that with you. He struggles to remember when his feelings began to get in the way of that. Now he has no choice but to face it, feeling further away from you than he ever has. The longer this goes on, that distance will only worsen until you don’t know each other at all. A part of him wants to do everything in his power to stop that; another part tells him that he’s powerless when it comes to you.

His head hangs low, finding it easy to get lost in the glow of the vending machine. Behind him in line, the sound of a kid deliberately tapping his foot snaps him out of his trance, prompting him to hurry up with the chips. Heading back towards the waiting room, he notices Ana and Lando speaking to a doctor. By the looks of it, they’re hanging on her every word, urging him to pick up his pace so he doesn’t miss any updates on you.

—

The hospital room is cold and uninviting. Quite the opposite of an ideal place to spend your summer vacation. You lay there alone for what feels like hours, wishing nothing more than to have Carlos at your bedside. You know he’s here, and so are your friends, but it’s not the same. The heart monitor beeps routinely every couple seconds, and your blood pressure cuff squeezes your arm every fifteen minutes, making it impossible to doze off even if you wanted to. The pain in your foot is better, though not gone completely, after having the glass removed by a doctor and your wound properly stitched up. Given how late it was, they’d keep you until the morning, needing to monitor the wound for a possible infection.

When you ask for your friends in the waiting room, your nurse looks like she’s seen a ghost at the mention of Carlos Sainz. Once you had reassured her that you had no head injury whatsoever, she reluctantly left to go find your description of him. ‘Tall, dark and handsome. You’ll see him.’

And so taking a deep breath, Carlos is standing in front of your room, tapping his knuckles gently to the wooden door. “Knock, knock.”

You smile instinctively at the sound of his voice, eager to see someone familiar in what has been a lonely couple of hours. “Come in.”

He opens the door immediately before laying eyes on you sitting up in the hospital bed, hurt and exhausted from the day’s events. He swallows down the guilt that creeps up his throat, hoping that it doesn’t show. He doesn’t deserve to throw a pity party right now when you're the one that’s in pain. His words don’t get that memo as he laments. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs, feeling helpless. “Maybe if I went too, it would’ve been me instead.”

You roll your eyes at his stubbornness, patting the foot of your bed so he will sit down. “I won’t let you think about the what if’s, Carlos, you need your feet to drive remember? Though knowing your resilience, you’d probably come back and win, glass in your foot be damned. They don’t call you the Smooth Operator for nothing.”

His heart warms at how you know just what to say to lift his spirits. “I could win only if you’re there to cheer me on.”

“Just say the word and I will be. I wouldn’t fly around the world on a moment’s notice for just anyone, you know.”

“I don’t want ‘just anyone’. Just you.” Your smile beams, and all of a sudden you feel the need to be close to him, holding a hand out to him that he instantly takes in his own. “Can I say something? And can you promise you won’t get mad at me for it?”

“Tonight can’t get much worse, can it?”

He faintly smiles at your quip, but it also worries him that your relationship may always be limited to just that, laughter and clever jokes. He needs you to know that he’s serious. And it wouldn’t be so bad to hear that in return from you either, just this once. “I love you.”

You freeze, probably looking like a deer in headlights. There must be some truth to the theory that people tend to be more honest at night. The exhaustion from the day wears on the brain while the world falls asleep, leaving the two of you to face the lingering vulnerability intertwining itself deeper into your friendship. You’d been denying it for as long as you can remember. A part of you wonders if he’s just tired of fighting it, if he’s just giving in to what everyone expects to happen between you. Even though Carlos is a terrible liar, you can’t shake the doubt that tells you his admission isn’t what it seems.

“Don’t say that. You don’t need to say that just because you feel bad. I understand.”

“It’s not about that, Y/n. I’m telling you how I feel– no, how I’ve felt– for a long time now, and I refuse to hide it from you anymore.”

“And how can you say that when a few hours ago you said you were in love with somebody else? Does that ring a bell to you?”

The realization hits Carlos, now he can understand why you’re so skeptical. “I never said I was in love with somebody else, it’s you! I was talking about you. When I said that I am in love, I meant to say that I was in love with you.” He sighs, finally feeling the weight being lifted off his chest.

The feeling that comes over you is paralyzing, unable to breathe a word in his direction. Those damn eyes that he’s giving you only complicate things. As badly as you want to express your love for him in return, you can’t. Not when the past several months, if not years, of your life have revolved around falling in love with Carlos and not being able to stop. Not being able to save yourself from the inevitable rejection that would break your foolish heart in two. Each day, the feeling buries itself deeper but comes alive in bursts. If your body didn’t remind you of it with a quickened heartbeat and a fuzzy feeling when he’s near, you wouldn’t know the difference between your ‘best friend’ Carlos and the confused one sitting at the foot of your hospital bed.

“Y/n, please. Say something. Tell me to get out or tell me you love me too.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. I know there’s something behind your eyes. There’s something you’re hiding from me, I can feel it.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Y/n, you forget that I know you.” He states obviously. “We’ve been best friends for years now, so the question is how could I not?”

“Is that not enough for you?”

“Having you is more than enough. But you have to understand that I can’t go on like this. I want to love you and never hide it. For as long as you let me.” His eyes bare into yours, nearly feeling claustrophobic as he takes both of your hands in his. “Please just talk to me.”

“I don’t know, Carlos. I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out as a mumble instead of the vibrato you wished to have right about now. Tears gloss over your eyes, but you don’t welcome them. The downturn of his frown and the emptiness that’s seeping into his expression claws at your chest. “We shouldn’t talk about this now.” He opens his mouth to say something, be it out of apology or anger, you’ll never know.

Three resounding knocks to your hospital room door cut through the tension like a knife. “Come in!”

It’s Lando and Ana, the soft smiles on their faces falling as they look between you and Carlos, sensing that something isn’t right. “Are we interrupting? We thought we’d check on you before they kick us out for the night.”

“Not at all.” You put on a smile for them in reassurance, yet fooling no one. The suspense in the air is palpable enough to leave all of you feeling awkward to say the least. It’s enough to make Carlos split the distance between his best friend and sister, leaving the room without a word.

Carlos walks as fast as his feet will take him, eventually landing on the familiar chair in the waiting room he sat in when he arrived. For the first time tonight, his mind isn’t racing and anxiety isn’t coursing through his veins. He is defeated, worse than he’s ever been before. Be it a race-ending issue with the car or losing out on his Ferrari seat, those are losses that he can at least come back from. This one’s a dead end.

“Want some? You look like you could use a snack.”

His attention swivels to a boy in the seat nearby, who he now recognizes from the vending machine earlier, snacking away on his bag of Ruffles. Carlos shakes his head, but still smiles softly at the consideration. “No thank you, not hungry.”

“Do you like chips?”

“I prefer cookies.”

“Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“And why’s that?”

“I dunno, you’re Carlos Sainz. Chili. I thought you’d go for anything salty or spicy. I guess you really do learn something new everyday.”

Carlos sighs, remembering his current troubles. His eyes flicker over to the hallway containing your room, expecting to see a familiar face at some point. “Tell me about it.”

The boy, whose backpack is embroidered with the name ‘Samuel’, gives Carlos a puzzled look. “What did you learn today?”

The question leaves him clueless as to how he can answer, without trauma dumping onto Samuel who is none the wiser to the conundrum he’s in. He clears his throat before answering, eyeing the vending machine as an analogy comes to his mind. “I love chocolate chip cookies, but they don’t love me back. My job doesn’t allow me to have them because they are too sweet for me. I try to stay away from the cookies, but I can’t. I wish I could be selfish and have them all to myself, but it’s just impossible. I can’t win.”

“Maybe try a different kind? Something healthier for you then.”

“Good idea, but that would never work. I’ll always love the chocolate chip cookie. Nothing else compares to her.”

“Are you talking about a girl?”

“No, no.” Carlos tries to cover, heat rising to his cheeks. “Still talking about the cookies.”

“You could always try baking your own.” He suggests. “When my mamá bakes cookies, they’re better than anything else because she makes them with love.”

Carlos nods along, and thanks Samuel for his words of advice. He’s off in his own world right now, desperate enough for guidance that he’s willing to imagine the ridiculous analogy between chocolate chip cookies and his relationship with you.

Minutes turn into hours, and Carlos finds himself in your room once again, sitting in a chair near your bedside. He reassured Ana and Lando earlier to go home as he insisted on staying with you overnight. Visiting hours were far from over, but a small bribe for your nurse was all it took for an exception to be made for Carlos Sainz.

The sun is up before you know it, but that’s not what shocks you. It’s the man slumped over in the chair overcome with fatigue. You wish it was all a dream. That stupid game of truth or dare, stepping on the glass bottle, pushing Carlos away when in hindsight, you should’ve surrendered too. You should’ve given in the same way he did, it surely would’ve made for a less awkward ride home. It’s not his words from last night that cloud the space in your mind, it’s your own. Seeing him now, he looks tranquil. Like the weight of the world can’t touch him when he’s already said his peace. You’ll continue longing to feel the same, knowing that your chance might’ve just come and gone.

—

AZERBAIJAN GRAND PRIX 2024

“Care to tell me why you’re really here?”

A puzzled raise of your eyebrows tells Lando everything he needs to know before you can even say it. “I’m sorry, I can’t support McLaren now? One of my best friends happens to drive for them.”

“Another happens to drive for their rival, too.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s nothing personal. Orange looks better on me.”

“Carlos would beg to differ.”

“Will you stop that? It isn’t about him.”

“Fine. But it’s not not about him, admit that.” He gives you a knowing look, one that’s skeptical of how much you’ve been avoiding Carlos lately, ever since the vacation you all took together. What was once a lively group chat between you three now consists of the occasional meme or reaction photo. “Come on, something happened between you two. Admit it.”

You sigh, eyes tearing away from him as you feel pressure under his interrogation. “Nothing happened. It’s probably more about what didn’t happen.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“Like your bestie hasn’t already filled you in.”

Lando shrugs, never giving away too much. “There’s two sides to every story.”

“He just misspoke. He told me he loved me after I injured my foot over the summer. I brushed him off, and we’re pretending like it never happened.” Lando’s eyes are wide and he doesn’t realize his jaw is hanging open until you press two fingers under his chin. “And that includes you. Deal? Not a word about this to anyone.”

“Damn, that’s even worse than I thought! You’re avoiding him because he loves you?”

“He doesn’t love me, doofus. He felt guilty because I stepped on a bottle that one of you probably dropped.” Three sharp pokes to the Brit’s chest emphasize your point, the narrative you’ve spent months now convincing yourself is true. “It’s just been a little tense, we haven’t really been the same since then. He thinks I’m being cold about the whole thing.”

“Are you?”

“No! I just know him better than he knows himself and he refuses to admit it. He’s stubborn, as you know, and he won’t let me forget it. He’s probably messing with my head until I cave in.”

“Cave in to what? Admitting you love him too?”

You gulp, brain scattering while you feel for some reason, like you’re being found out. “Where would you get that idea?”

“You haven’t denied it. Isn’t that all he wants anyway? I’m sure if you told him you didn’t feel the same way, this would all be over. Which won’t happen because you do, in fact, love Carlos Sainz.”

You resist the urge to give Lando a good whack to any tender part of his body, by the way a McLaren team member accidentally eavesdrops on your conversation in passing, obviously trying to look away before you notice. “Don’t use his full name.” You warn in a hushed whisper. “Word travels fast around here, you know.”

“Please don’t injure me before the race. I’m just saying, would it hurt to speak to him for more than five minutes at a time?”

“He’ll get over it. Hell, he might already be over it. I just think a little more space wouldn’t hurt either of us right now.”

“Well, you know what they say about space.” Lando gives you a knowing look, before dramatically breaking out into his best Nick Jonas impersonation. “Space is just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get close.”

“Very nice, Lando.”

“Just don’t look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel anything for him. You must think I’m some kind of idiot.”

“It’s better for our friendship this way, okay? Imagine had I said it back, what kind of damage that would do to all of us when it goes to shit. It would never work between us, and I refuse to set us up for failure. I’d rather keep things the same. And he would too, he just doesn’t know it yet. This year hasn’t been the easiest for him, you know? He’s just trying to cling on to what’s familiar. He might think that he loves me, but it’s a phase. In a year from now, he’ll be in a new team, a new era of his life and career, and we won’t even remember this.”

“Really? Because I think, if he had it his way, he’d be with you forever.”

“And I feel terrible about pushing him away, but it’s for the best, okay? You’ll see.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” Lando nods slowly but unconvincingly, taking some steps backwards and away from you, leaving to do the pre-race preparations he should probably be focused on instead.

—

“For the best?!” Carlos exclaims, his eyes wide and hinting a mix of disappointment, hurt, and frustration at the turn your friendship has taken.

“I know, I had the same look. It doesn’t even sound like her.”

“Each excuse I hear from her is more ridiculous than the last. I miss when I could just talk to her, you know? Without thinking about how she’s gonna push me away this time.”

“You should just tell her to stop inventing.” Lando giggles, biting his lip to keep from breaking out into full hysterical laughter in the middle of the driver’s parade.

Carlos shoots a warning glare to his friend. “It’s one thing if she didn’t feel anything for me, but she’s been avoiding me as if we haven’t been best friends for years now. I can’t figure it out.”

“Maybe she’s scared to lose you, have you ever thought of that? What would happen in case it doesn’t work out? I think she’d rather have you as a friend than not at all.”

“I’m the same person I’ve always been, though. She knows me. I thought I knew her, too.”

“You do. I, for one, think you’re perfect for each other.” Lando tries to offer some consolation, but he knows that Carlos can’t and won’t settle for the silver lining in all of this.

“I used to think so too. But hey, she might be onto something. Maybe it is for the best.”

—

The race doesn’t disappoint, keeping in line with the chaotic patterns the 2024 season has had to offer. Nearing the end of the race, the pit wall, mechanics, and spectators alike can breathe a sigh of relief that the position of their driver won’t be threatened. Oscar leads by 10 seconds, making it a great weekend to be a guest of McLaren for the weekend. The garage bustles with excitement as the cars begin the last lap.

It was looking like a fight to the checkered flag between Checo and Carlos, closely rounding Turn 2 just behind Charles, racing wheel to wheel down the straight before the two cars clash, the Red Bull of Checo sending the Ferrari of Carlos into the concrete barrier at 300 kilometers per hour.

A wave of adrenaline strikes you instantly, audible gasps sounding through the garage at the brutal and unexpected impact. The same sight of the crash had to be on every monitor throughout the entire paddock, leaving everyone on the edge of their seat. Carlos being a beloved member in the McLaren family certainly intensified things, you weren’t the only one who couldn’t tear their eyes away from the screen. A flash of heat burns through you as you see Checo seemingly confront Carlos and walk off, but your worries don’t dissipate until you see the man in red get out of his car, slowly but steadily.

—

It’s almost night by the time you arrive back at your hotel, Lando having stayed back in the paddock for team photos and celebrations of Oscar’s win. It’s a short walk back to the nearby hotel, and you could use the fresh air to help clear your mind anyway. Mindlessly, you open your messages with Carlos. Typing, then erasing, then typing again.

‘Glad you’re okay.’ No, too short.

‘Are you okay? Sorry about your race.’ No, too impersonal.

‘I love you too. I should’ve said it sooner.’ No, too risky. Too permanent. You’re not ready for what comes next. Who knows if he even wants to talk to you, especially about this. Don’t be selfish.

Your earlier conversation with Lando creeps up on you, giving you more to worry about than you had previously considered. Could it be guilt or pure heartache, you’re not sure. All that is certain is you can’t carry on with your relationship like this either. It only took you a few months and a crash to fuel you with the same passion he felt for you over the summer, when he confessed. Facing the truth is scary, but you won’t be able to forgive yourself if you let him go. You can’t live with knowing that he might go so far that he never comes back.

The elevator door is open, your thoughts so entrancing that you don’t bother to look up. Until that signature red polo catches your eye, and they trail upwards to meet the brown ones you remember so well, the same ones you’ve been waiting to see again.

“Hi.” He breathes, almost in disbelief. From the mental and physical wear of today, Carlos can’t be more relieved to see your face, no matter what has gone on between you. Pure surprise sets in when you, after taking a few pauses to get a good look at him, engulf him into your arms with a passion. He winces slightly at the soreness that’s sinking into his muscles, but ultimately relaxes and wraps his arms around you.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter, trying to untangle yourself from his hold, to which he only pulls you closer.

“It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“It’s not just about that, Carlos. I haven’t been a good friend to you lately and you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“No.”

“I should be the one apologizing.”

“For what?”

“I pushed you away when I told you how I feel. But you need to know that I’m not sorry I said it. I’m not taking it back.”

“Why not?”

He scoffs. “This again? Why won’t I take it back? Because it’s the truth! I love you! I wish you could see it. I wish you could feel how badly I’ve been wanting to say it and hear it back from you. I’m man enough to understand if you don’t feel the same way, but you won’t even give me a conversation. You refuse to talk to me and I don’t know whether to take that as rejection or an admission. Because if you really didn’t believe a thing I said that night, we wouldn’t be here. Things would’ve stayed the same.” You stay silent, trying to process each of his words and their meanings, a mistake you’ve made one too many times. “Just talk to me, please.” His voice cracks slightly in his last word, and his plea brings tears to your eyes. “Not what you think I need to hear. Tell me what you’ve been holding inside.”

This is exactly what scares you about Carlos. His ability to understand your innermost thoughts without a word. His skepticism is more than enough to rattle you. Having him as a best friend is one thing, but leaving your heart to be broken in his hands is another. “I just don’t want things to change, Carlos. At the end of the day, we still have our own lives, our own goals and ambitions. It doesn’t matter how I feel when there’s plenty standing in the way of it.”

“Like hell it doesn’t matter. I’ve spent every waking moment wondering how all of those things could be ours, together. I fell in love with you and you’re punishing me for it, I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Does it scare you? Is that why you want to sabotage our relationship before it has a chance? You need to understand that I didn’t tell you because I felt guilty you got hurt. I told you because I refuse to look you in the eyes and lie anymore than I already have.”

“I know.” You sigh, a tear slipping away from you. “I know that.”

“Then why are you only admitting this to me now? We’ve been wasting time dancing around this long enough.”

“I know how you feel because I feel it, too. Watching your car slam into the wall like that… I didn’t want another second to go by without you knowing the truth. I don’t want to feel guilty anymore about avoiding you, about lying to you, about any of it.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I love you too, Carlos. It should’ve been the first thing out of my mouth when you told me but I just panicked. All I could picture was how this ends a million different ways and each of them were more heartbreaking than the last. But the longer I waited, I just thought it would be too late.”

“It’s never too late, Y/n.” Carlos whispers, brown eyes glossing over as they admire yours. Honestly, unabashedly, and lovingly, for the first time in a while. “I’m still here, aren’t I? After all this time.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not, remember? Some things are worth waiting for.” He holds your face in his hands, brushing his thumb across your cheek to wipe away your fallen tear. “You are worth every second.”

You don’t hold back any longer, closing the gap and kissing him with all that you have. All of the emotions that for too long, had nowhere to go, have now found their home. Your hands tangle in his hair, and the hum of approval he gives you is delicious. If it were at all possible, you feel as close to him as you’ve ever felt, and him to you. Kissing him, feeling your love be reciprocated calms your head and sends your heart ablaze. You’d reckon the wall that stood between you, was always ready to be knocked over with the slightest gust of wind, had you not spent so much time trying to hold it up. Letting go was your best decision to date, the feeling of his lips on yours just confirms that.

It isn’t until the sound of the elevator dings that you pull away, realizing neither of you had pressed a single button upon entry. To your surprise it’s Lando, his grin smug like he’d just pulled off some kind of heist. You and Carlos instinctively try to put an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you, only this time, nobody would believe there’s anything platonic about you two. By the looks of Carlos’ tousled hair and the smudges of your once perfect lip gloss, Lando needs no explanation from either of you.

“Don’t worry, you can carry on.” Lando laughs, reaching inside and pressing the ‘Close Doors’ button. “I’ll take the stairs.”

💌: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! thank you for reading <3

[khaylin27]

Guilty as Sin?

pairing: oscar piastri x norris reader; lando norris x sister reader; talks about carlos sainz x norris reader past relationship

series: the tortured poets department and part two of so long, london

synopsis: after the tragedy of y/n norris and carlos sainz, y/n moves on with her brother's new teammate, oscar piastri. can she feel guilty as sin in this new relationship?

warnings: drinking; a small segment of smut; the media being snakes

author's note: none i'm just happy that y/n is finally happy 😭

Drowning in the Blue Nile He sent me 'Downtown Lights' I hadn't heard it in a while

After Lando's birthday celebration, Oscar decided to drive you guys back to your hotel since he was the only sober one between the three of you. As Oscar drives his McLaren Artura down the Las Vegas strip, one of your favorite songs 'The Downtown Lights' by the Blue Nile started playing. "This is one of my favorite songs."

"This is your favorite song too?" The Aussie says surprised.

"Yeah, but I haven't heard it in a while. My ex boyfriend hated this song because it was 'too chill' for his music taste." You say recalling the time Carlos got mad at you for playing this song while he was driving. It still hurt thinking about Carlos. How can you stop forgetting someone you've loved for so long? "Is it possible to turn it up?" You ask so you can numb the pain that you felt from Carlos.

"Will Lando wake up if you turn up the volume?" Oscar asks you and you turn around to see what he was doing. Lando was knocked out drunk from partying too hard.

You giggle at his question, "I'm pretty sure he'll be okay." Oscar smiles at the giggle you made. "I'm going to turn it up." The Aussie nods and you both start singing the lyrics to the song.

"Sometimes I walk away. When all I really wanna do. Is love and hold you right. There is just one thing I can say. Nobody loves you this way. It's alright, can't you see? The downtown lights" You and Oscar sing the lyrics in unison and smile at each other.

Little did you know everything was going to be alright with Oscar by your side.

This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves Or the ocean rocks

The night of the Las Vegas Grand Prix, it felt like you were in cage with all the lights and cameras on you. This was your first time back in the paddock after the tragedy that happened in July 2022.

Oscar walks out of room in the paddock he hears you crying in Lando's room. "Hey Y/N. Are you okay in there?" He doesn't hear anything from you which starts to worry him. "I'm coming in."

When he enters the room, he sees you crying on the couch and sits next to you. "What's going on pretty girl?"

"I hate him so much. I spent so much of my youth throwing my life for him and Ferrari and he has the audacity to talk crap about me to the storm of reporters outside." When you were trying to walk through the paddock to get to the McLaren garages earlier, one of the reporters asked if you had any comments about Carlos talking about you to other reporters. You were confused at first, but once you got the time to watch what Carlos said in interviews it got you so angry. He started bad mouthing you and your three year relationship you had with him. He even started bad mouthing your brother and the McLaren team.

As you're still crying, Oscar decides to give you a hug. "I understand that you went through a lot in your relationship with Carlos and still are. It isn't right for Carlos to bad mouth you or anything related to you. That's very immature of him." Oscar wipes the tears that fall from your face. "It's okay to feel this way Y/N. You're allowed to cry. But it's time to crack these locks from Carlos and start throwing rocks at that past relationship."

You smile a bit at what Oscar was telling you. "You're right, Oscar." You stand up and fix yourself up.

Before you both leave the room, Oscar kisses your temple. "I'm always here for you Y/N." You felt butterflies after Oscar kissed your temple.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die

After Lando and Oscar got 5th and 6th place at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, you guys decided to hang out back at the hotel. Little Lando fell asleep after a couple rounds of alcohol, it was only you and Oscar talking.

You were a little tipsy from the rounds of alcohol you had and you accidentally told Oscar something that was only for your mind. "You know Oscar. The past two weeks, I've started to have a crush on you." Oscar was shocked when you told him, but you couldn't care since you were tipsy.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're written 'mine' on my upper thigh." Oscar laughs at your little pick up line and you notice. "Hey don't laugh at me trying to confess that I like you." You lightly slap him and he politely apologizes to you. "But only in my mine?" You question yourself.

"Why only in your mind?" he asks you.

"I don't want to move too fast. One slip and I'm falling back in love with one of my brother's teammates." As the words leave your mouth, Oscar kisses you in the lips.

"Oh what a way to die then." You both smile at each other and he kisses you once again.

I keep these longings locked In lowercase inside a vault Someone told me There's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk

During winter break, you decided to spend some private one on one time with Oscar in Australia. Before you two left you had to tell Lando about your fresh relationship with Oscar. Lando was shocked that you two were together since he was 23 and you were 26 but overall supportive for you. Lando did have to give Oscar the "if you hurt my sister, I'm going to kill you" talk. Oscar jokingly responded back "it's okay. I like my women a little older." Which got all of you laughing.

As you watch Daniel and Oscar paddle board on the Australian coast line, you were talking with Heidi. "So how long are you going to keep your relationship a secret?" she asks you.

"Well our relationship is new. I like keeping our relationship locked, only for us to enjoy for now. Let's call the vault our relationship in 'y/nscar' with a lowercase too." You both giggle about the vault idea.

"You look happier Y/N. I know that you're still grieving the years you had with 'the man that shall not be named.'" You both laugh about 'the man that shall not be named,' but it fells good to finally be able to laugh about your ex, but you had a feeling you were moving on too fast.

"Do you think I'm moving on too fast with Oscar?" You ask Heidi.

"Someone told me. There's no such thing as bad thoughts. Only your actions talk. You're really in love with Oscar and you're finally healing." She explains to you.

You both look at the Australian coast line and see your men coming back to where you were sitting. "You guys enjoying the view?" Daniel asks the both of you.

"Definitely." You answer Daniel's question and give a kiss to Oscar.

"I love you honey." Oscar says and kisses you again.

"I love you too."

My bedsheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Building up like waves Crashing over my grave

That night after spending time with Daniel and Heidi, you both decided to take your relationship to the next step and have sex. Let me tell you it was the best you ever had.

For once a man put your needs first before his own. As Oscar was eating your pussy out, you screamed his name like never before. Carlos never got down on you once during your relationship.

After Oscar ate you out, he decided to insert himself in you. The waves of pleasure were building up as he kept thrusting himself inside you. You both spent hours making love.

"How was it?" Oscar asks once you both reach your climax.

You kiss him passionately, "It was the best sex I've ever had love. I could rest in peace now." You say jokingly and he laughs. "I love you so much."

"No I love you more." You two laugh again and kiss once again.

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me Is actually what's holy?

Your private love didn't last for long as f1drama instagram reporters on the two of you.

f1drama BREAKING NEWS: McLaren driver, Oscar Piastri, spotted with his teammate's sister, Y/N Norris in Australia earlier today. Sources at the scene say that they were on a date and were very loving to each other.

It's embarrassing to see Lando Norris' older sister not only with another driver on the grid but someone 3 years younger than her. Carlos Sainz, her ex fiancé, definitely dodged a bullet on marrying Y/N Norris.

"That's so disrespectful for the media to be following us while we're on break." Oscar says angry that the media was following you two around Australia. "It's disgusting what they put in the caption of the post. They even added Carlos in there which is such a low blow."

You try to calm Oscar down by hugging him and pressing kisses to his jaw. "It's okay love. I knew the media would react like this once they found out."

"I just thought we would have time to keep our relationship private." Oscar says as he rests his chin on your head and continues to hug you.

"I know. All I need is you right now." You say as Oscar holds you tighter. The way that Oscar holds you felt holy to you. You felt like everything would be okay with just him by your side.

I choose you and me religiously

yourinstagram i choose you and me, religiously. @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri love you always and forever honey 🩵

liked by author

landonorris yay i finally got to keep a secret for so long!

liked by author

yourinstagram i'm surprised. very proud of you little bro.

danielricciardo wow no photo creds @yourinstagram 😒

heidiberger_ let her be down bad for oscar 😭 liked by author yourinstagram what my girlfriend said @danielricciardo 😌 danielricciardo @yourinstagram hey she was my girlfriend first!

taylorswift the guilty as sin lyric 🥺🩶

liked by author and oscarpiastri

user1 mother approves of my other mother being happy 🥹

user2 @taylorswift ARE YOU HINTING THAT GUILTY AS SIN? IS ABOUT THEM !??

user3 she's glowing in her new relationship rn

user4 @yourintagram i don't get the hate about her moving on with oscar 😭 she's more happier with him than when she was with carlos

tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb

[blackbat05]

Side Tracked

Carlos Alcaraz x Reader

Summary: The feeling of winning is sweet, but so is unexpected encounters. (Fluff)

A/N: Usually never write for real(?) people but here’s my attempt to not make it flop(?) Hope you like it and congrats to Carlitos once again!⭐️

July 2023

He thought he’ll try something different today.

Take a walk down the city of London, have time to finally relax.

Maybe he should have thought about the fact that he was doing this right after he won the championships.

It’s not that he minded, he appreciated the attention that the sport was getting. But if he could just walk down the street without being stopped every three seconds, that would be great.

He quickly turns into a small alley with quaint little stores littered on each side. He’s not going to linger outside any longer so he dips into the first door that is opened.

The smell of lemons wafts through the air along with soft music that reminded him of being on the beach. Bookcases towered over him no matter which direction he turned.

Strangely, it wasn’t intimidating at all.

“Hello!”

A young lady pops out from the second shelve to his left, causing him to stumble back a few feet in shock.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” She apologizes, a small smile grazing her features. “Can I help you with anything? A book perhaps?”

He didn’t want to trouble her just because he was trying to get some peace and quiet. So he just puts on his usual charm, takes a random book and shakes his head. She seems to be satisfied with his answer and leaves for the next row, telling him to look for her if he needs anything.

Book long abandoned, his eyes follow her curiously. Perhaps she doesn’t watch tennis. Not that he cared, did he? She could be busy with her work. Still, it intrigued him. He could be wrong, but she seemed to be… avoiding him?

He gives a sigh and turns open the book that he randomly grabbed from the shelve. If anything, he was not a reader. If he stares at a page for too long, the words might just jumble up into a ball of mess.

“Hey,” the same voice brings him back to the present. She stands in front of him in her white apron, another book in her hand that is outstretched to him. “You were almost going crossed-eye with that book. I think you might like this better.”

He swaps the book and she leaves quietly. Oh, it’s a book about his idol and one of the biggest sporting icons in tennis history. Rafa’s book was published when he was just a kid, but it would be interesting to see his perspective. He opens the book and this time, he doesn’t go crossed eye.

In fact, he’s so engrossed in it that by the time she checks in on him, the sun has disappeared and night falls.

“I’m glad you seem to be enjoying the book.”

Oh, he really wants to hear her talk more.

“Yeah. It’s perfect. Thank you.”

But he’s leaving the day after.

“You’re welcome. I hope you got the quiet time that you need. Congratulations by the way.”

He’s momentarily stunned, earning a chuckle from her.

“I think you had enough people heckling you for a day.” She looks out of the window and then her watch. “And I think your team should be looking for you.”

He’s still rooted to the ground, book in hand. The phone in his pocket buzzes and he’s sure Juan Carlos is going to give him an earful for escaping the hotel alone.

“Oh!” She snaps her fingers and darts off to the shelve, coming towards him with a brown book. “It’s not much but I would like you to have this.”

The little book of encouragement.

She looks sheepish as she explains, “It must be stressful. Having all these expectations on you. Sometimes you really just need to take a step back and remind yourself what’s truly important you know?”

What’s truly important…

His fingers wrap around the book and he holds onto it tight.

“Thank you, again.” He says. “I promise, I’ll be back when I’m in London.”

“I’m counting on it.”

***

A year later, 2024

This time, he remembers to put his hoodie up.

There was no need for google maps or asking for directions. He knew the way by heart, by instinct.

The same store comes into vision and he’s suddenly nervous. His fingers wrap itself tightly around the spine of the book. He can’t wait to see her.

The bell chimes as he pushes the door, the familiar scent greeting him again.

There she was, face scrunched up in concentration, a clipboard in hand. Her eyes light up with joy as soon as he enters.

As if like he never left.

“Well done champ.” She comes to give him a hug which he swears he felt her linger. He didn’t want to break the hug if he had a choice too.

They fall into easy conversation and he feels like a normal person. Not the athlete that everyone expects him to be.

“How did you like the book?” She asks expectantly. Her passion for books was admirable and adorable.

“I loved it. It helped me a lot. In good times, and in bad times.”

It was the truth and only the truth.

He passes her the book and it takes him all his strength to not tremble.

“I really like page 88.”

She cocks her head to one side in curiosity. Flipping the book to the said page.

When everything gets too loud, remember what you have, what you are fighting for.

She does a double take of the pink post it that has been pasted to the page of the quote and reads it carefully.

Would you like to go out with me for dinner today?

She peeks out from the book and he’s clearly nervous. She decides to be a little cheeky, and holds back her answer for a while more.

But she can’t bear to, not when he’s so sincere.

Not when he’s so hopeful.

Not when she’ll eventually say-

Yes.

[thisismeracing]

After the afterparty | LH44

― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x F!Moroccan!reader ― Warnings: mentions of food; typos. ― Summary: Fans have been watching Yn and Lewis interact since she first started attending races. Nothing seemed enough for them to pinpoint what was going on between the two until the Las Vegas Gran Prix happened, and contrary to the belief, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. Yn and Lewis are about to find out. (Based on this request) ― A/n: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

✷ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ✷ you can support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment(don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

May, 2023

📸 instagram

🐦‍⬛ twitter

📸 instagram

lewishamilton

liked by yninstagram, georgerussell63, and others

lewishamilton the grind doesn't stop. Lets go

view all comments

ferrarifriends who finna be fired now? 🤣

landorizz who is he trying to get with these pics?

⤷ purplemerc I don't know, but he got to me, I am ready with open legs

⤷ purplemerc damn I meant open ARMS*, pardon my silly little keyboard hihi 😅😇

⤷ schumickey LMAO

motoswift I see Yn liked eh

sainzpodium someone said on twitter that they were seen talking at the afterparty... just saying 👁️👄👁️

June, 2023

📸 instagram

yninstagram

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton, and others

yninstagram I have always been sport’s girlie, but with soccer its a whole new level ❤️ happy to see my home team play! Can’t wait for the world cup!!! 🇲🇦🇲🇦

view all comments

f1eillish she's so pretty!!

vamosvettel 🇲🇦🇲🇦

franciscac.gomes we have to go to a match together!!! 💞

formulamerc I have to get a shirt like the one she's wearing, looks good

martelodohamilton I see sir Lewis liked huh...............

lewishamilton

liked by pierregasly, yninstagram, and others

lewishamilton weekend off 🌊☀️❤️💚

view all comments

jasmine21 would y’all call me crazy if I say this is in Morocco? 👀

sirenzsainz Lewis has such an aura around him, he's so aesthetic, like...it's so good to see him

mercfan where are you, Lew?

⤷ sennanschumi no because he's totally gonna answer you, bestie, just you wait

ferrarifiasco a week without f1 is harder than a week without my gf

⤷ nandosmile my friend, respectfully, I hope she breaks up w you 😭🗣️

yninstagram

liked by danielricciardo, lewishamilton, and others

yninstagram enjoying the weekend with my friends 💚

view all comments

smoothoperation friends to lovers has always been my favorite trope 🤭😇

hammert1m3 LEWIS ON THE THIRD SLIDE????

ynfan I so wanted to be friends with her

charles_leclerc bring me some souvernir!

⤷ carlossainz55 He means local food, but he's afraid the admin is going to see and tell the team's nutritionist

⤷ yninstagram it's fine, Charls, I'm bringing one big SHIRT for you and Carlos. It's a very popular SHIRT here in Morocco.

⤷ scuderiaferrari 👁️👁️

estebanbestie this comment section is very entertaining

ynfriend 🤍🤍🤍

July, 2023

🎥 youtube

August, 2023

🐦‍⬛ twitter

September, 2023

yninstagram

liked by lilymhe, mickschumacher, lewishamilton, and others

yninstagram monza ❤️🇮🇹🎂

view all comments

charles_leclerc you told me you weren't posting it!!!

⤷ yninstagram did I? I don't recall this 🤔

⤷ carlossainz55 she didn't say a thing, cabron...

⤷ charles_leclerc just because you look good, shut up

⤷ carlossainz55 I always look good

⤷ yninstagram some may disagree with this...

⤷ carlossainz55 traitor! 😤

scuderiastroll lol I love their friendship

scuderiaferrari ❤️🥰

alonsostroll funny how Lewis has been liking every single post of hers huh

sainzsecret she looks so good!! if I had half of her beauty I wouldn't complain about a thing!

⤷ yninstagram believe me, bestie, you would

⤷ f1direction LMAO I love you, yn!!!

lewishamilton

liked by charles_leclerc, yninstagram, and others

lewishamilton Every weekend we fight together as a team, and it’s always a tough battle. First, huge props to George. He had an amazing drive all weekend and deserved to be on the podium. Unfortunate for him not to finish, but he will bounce back. I’m so proud of all the work the team did this weekend. Thank you all for the unbelievable support, I see you🙏🏾

view all comments

georgerussell63 let's go, mate

girlbossgasly I love you, lew!!!

yninstagram It was brilliant to watch you race 💙 keep up the good work!

hamiltonalways Yn supporting her man :D

raintyres I'm happy I stayed awake for this race. Singapore is always a show

🐦‍⬛ twitter

October, 2023

📸 instagram

yninstagram

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, and others

yninstagram Mexico!! 💚❤️🤍🇲🇽

view all comments

rbrpodium she posted mick and george, and lew 🤍

⤷ cyruscars casually posting everyone in a work environment except Lewis, I wonder what it means.........

mercmick THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US SCHUMI CONTENT, QUEEN!!!

ynfan as usual, the prettiest woman in the world

georgerussell63 💙

charles_leclerc it's horrible to share you. Please, get back to our garage

⤷ mickschumacher 😂😂

November, 2023

📸 instagram

yninstagram

liked by carmenmmundt, landonorris, and others

yninstagram what happens in Vegas doesn't always stays in Vegas 🤭👄

comments on this post have been limited

lewishamilton my forever favorite afterparty company 💗😘

⤷ yninstagram I love you, handsome! ❤️

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

mercedesamgf1 Welcome to the right garage, Yn!

⤷ scuderiaferrari 🙄🙄🙄

alex_albon the way george is included on this dump make it seem like he's the kid 😂😂😂

⤷ georgerussell63 what if I am?

⤷ yninstagram yeah what if we adopted him? 🤨

⤷ georgerussell63 did you?? 🥹

⤷ yninstagram not sure. I'll ask Roscoe if he would like a sassy new brother 🏃🏾‍♀️

🐦‍⬛ twitter

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, loves! I hope you guys liked this piece! 🤍 make sure to let me know your thoughts by reblogging and leaving me an ask!

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @goldenalbon @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @bbreezybitch @graciewrote @scorpiobleue @soph1644 @leclercsluv @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch

✷ check here my main masterlist | patreon guide my taglist  if you wanna be tagged on my pieces

©thisismeracing ― Do not copy, steal, or translate my work. Do not repost on a different media platform.

[carlos-in-glasses]

2024 Fic Round Up

I have posted 12 fics on Ao3 this year! I’m amazed. I truly thought I would post maybe half of what I did in 2023, which was 13! I’m going to go ahead and assume I won’t post as much as this next year as my work life continues to go hoo-ha bananas busy, but writing Tarlos fic is still my favourite thing. I’m super excited with the AU I’m working on currently, so that’s definitely one for 2025!

Something I’ve really enjoyed this year is writing fic because of gifts, organized exchanges, prompts and sparking ideas with friends. Fics that wouldn’t exist without others. It’s reinforced for me how this is a creative community and it’s wonderful to be part of it. Art begets art!

In order of most recent postings:

September – October- November - December

Fall On Your Knees (15k, E), my Secret Santa fic for @heartstringsduet

Read if you’re in the mood for: Tarlos breakup era angst, fun smut and family feels.

Rhythms (107k so far, still posting, E)

Read if you’re in the mood for: Carlos reflecting on his poet-jock closeted high school life and working on his vows for TK years later after fighting through writer’s block.

Tell Me How I’m Supposed to Breathe With No Heir (11k, E)

Read if you’re in the mood for: A 4x12 coda in which TK tries to figure out why he wants to be a dad.

Deeper than Breath, Closer than Air (5k, E)

Read if you’re in the mood for: The aftermath of TK saving the world with his little fan.

His Husband's Voice (1k, M)

Read if you’re in the mood for: Carlos crying with TK behind a bush.

June- July - August

Let Me Be The One Who Shines With You (13k) – a birthday fic for @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

Read if you’re in the mood for: An origin story/love note for TK’s yellow hoodie.

Keep the Lights On (13k, E)

Read if you’re in the mood for: A chaotic 1x05 coda. One of my faves from this year. There's something about season 1 Tarlos.

The Wonder of It (30k words, E) – A birthday fic for @thisbuildinghasfeelings, written with @ladytessa74 and @lemonlyman-dotcom

Read if you’re in the mood for: Tarlos becoming dads and a mystery solved!

April-May

I Was Thinking About Your Mouth (31k words, E) – for @welcometololaland because a conversation with her inspired it!

Read if you’re in the mood for: Particularly stupid sex pertaining to TK accidentally proposing to Carlos during very good blow jobs.

January-February (nothing in March)

Search and Rescue (15k, E) – A Tarlos Secret Cupid fic for @honeybee-taskforce

Read if you’re in the mood for: Tarlos attempting to adopt a wise, retired service dog and ending up with a goofy golden retriever who turns their lives upside down.

Where All This Love Comes From (107k words, E)

Read if you're in the mood for: A journey through Carlos trying to figure out his relationship with his father, as well as who killed him, and TK opening up to Carlos about his addiction. Probably my personal favourite.

You Can Leave Your Hat On (6K, E)

Read if you’re in the mood for: Shivering, bickering guys who are super hot for each other and also the most absurd paragraph about ~self pleasure~ I could ever have dreamed of writing. Not that I dreamed of it ever really. But here we are. I was very proud to begin 2024 with this fic.

Big love for the tags: @heartstringsduet @whatsintheboxmh @bonheur-cafe

@ladytessa74 @everlastingday @thisbuildinghasfeelings @futures-tense

@henrygrass @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @lemonlyman-dotcom

@alrightbuckaroo

Open tag and tags below!:

@nisbanisba @sapphic--kiwi @emsprovisions @ironheartwriter

@hereghostslive @nancys-braids @captain-gillian

@butchreyes @literateowl @laelipoo @pimento-playing-hopscotch

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @tellmegoodbye @orchidscript

@herefortarlos @sugdenlovesdingle @theghostofashton @freneticfloetry

@chicgeekgirl89 @liminalmemories21 @carlossreaders

@freneticfloetry @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

@lightningboltreader @goodways @paperstorm @reyesstrand - If you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever!

And @reasonandfaithinharmony and @lutavero for any gifs from this year if you want to do a gif round up!

[kathlare]

lingering thoughts

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Set during the Austrian Grand Prix, this chapter delves into Lando Norris’s inner turmoil after learning about Amelie Dayman’s breakup.

Wordcount: 2.2 k

Warnings: just fluff

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June 29th, 2023 - Spielberg, Austria

The Austrian Alps stood tall and imposing under the clear July sky, the paddock bustling with activity as drivers, team personnel, and media swarmed the Red Bull Ring. Lando Norris strolled through the paddock with a spring in his step, his usual easy grin plastered across his face. For once, he wasn’t faking it for the cameras. The reason for his good mood? Amelie Dayman was single again.

It had been just a few hours since the news broke. Both Amelie and Rodrigo Riquelme had posted identical Instagram stories confirming what Lando had only heard through rumors until now. The couple, who had been dating since late 2022, had quietly parted ways, and while Lando had heard whispers of their split—Carlos had been the one to mention it first when he overheard Checo talking to Max—he hadn’t believed it. Not really. He’d been hopeful, sure, but the logical side of him had dismissed the idea, unwilling to get his hopes up again. Now, with the confirmation on social media, there was a fluttering in his chest that he hadn’t felt in… well, a while.

His mind was racing, a thousand thoughts at once: What does this mean? Could this be it? Could we actually have another chance?

But there was also that nagging feeling deep down, the one that kept him from fully embracing his hope. The fear. The uncertainty. Maybe we’re not meant to be.

Lando sighed, his smile faltering for just a second before he caught himself. He was at Media Day for the Austrian Grand Prix, supposed to be focusing on the race weekend, yet his thoughts kept drifting back to Amelie. To her Instagram story. To the idea of her being single, and what that might mean for them.

There had been a time, not too long ago, when everything had been different. When he and Amelie had been more than just friends. It wasn’t anything public, anything anyone really knew about. They had kept it quiet, just the two of them. It was casual, nothing serious, or at least that’s how they had both convinced themselves. But that had been before everything fell apart—before she got caught up in filming Wicked and he’d started talking to Luisinha, who had become his girlfriend after he and Amelie ended things.

He hadn’t expected it to end like that. The whole situation with Amelie had left a bitter taste in his mouth, especially the way she seemed to completely shut him out. But now, months later, with the split between Amelie and Rodrigo, he couldn't help but wonder: Could we try again?

Lando shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts as he entered the media room. His PR team had already prepped him for the questions, the usual inquisition about the race, his season, his goals. But all he could think about was Amelie.

—Ready for the questions, Norris?— Carlos chuckled from beside him as he took a seat at the table.

Lando flashed a grin. —Always.—

But Carlos could tell something was different. Lando wasn’t his usual, carefree self. He was… lighter, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. And Carlos, being Carlos, had a pretty good idea why. The rumors about Amelie and Rodrigo had been circulating for a while, and Carlos had known before anyone else that something was going on. He had seen how Lando had reacted when he first heard the news, the barely concealed hope in his eyes that maybe, just maybe, Amelie was finally single again.

Lando settled into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to look casual as the media session began. His eyes flicked over to Carlos, who gave him a knowing smirk. Lando shot him a glare, though it didn’t have the usual edge. He couldn’t help it. His mind was elsewhere.

Carlos leaned in slightly, keeping his voice low enough so only Lando could hear. —You’ve got a stupid grin on your face, mate. I know why.—

Lando bit back a laugh, a little nervous but trying not to show it. —I don’t know what you’re talking about.—

Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. —The break-up news. You’re telling me you’re not at least a little excited?—

Lando’s smile faltered for a split second. —I don’t know. I mean... yeah, sure, I’m happy for her, if that’s what she wants, you know?—

Carlos leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying this. —Right. But also, it’s not like you’ve been completely ignoring it. You heard the rumors a while ago, yeah?—

Lando bit his lip, glancing around as the media settled in, beginning their usual string of questions. His mind was still caught in the whirlwind of possibility. —Yeah, I heard it, but… I didn’t want to believe it, you know? Like, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.—

—You do that a lot,— Carlos said with a grin, though his tone was softer now. —I think you’ve been hoping for this for a while.—

Lando’s fingers drummed against the table, though his focus was far away from the questions that were being asked. His thoughts were a blur. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, the idea that Amelie might actually be single again. The thought made him feel alive, but it also brought a flood of old memories, the times they’d spent together before everything fell apart. He remembered how easy it had been then, how simple it had seemed to be with her, even if they both denied it. He remembered the nights they’d spent talking, laughing, letting their walls down with each other.

Then, he remembered the end. The painful silence after they’d both walked away, trying to convince themselves they were fine, that everything was fine. But it had never really been fine. He had wanted more. They both had.

He couldn’t help it. A part of him had never really let go.

— Do you still talk to her?— Carlos asked, his voice breaking into Lando’s thoughts.

Lando snapped back to reality. — What? No. I haven’t talked to her since the last time, you know? That was...— He stopped himself, suddenly feeling the weight of the words. That was months ago. The silence between them had been suffocating. He hadn’t expected it, but somehow, he had known it was coming. —It’s been a while,— he added, a little quieter than he meant to.

Carlos nodded slowly, sensing the shift in Lando’s tone. —I get it. But I know how you are, mate. You’re not fooling anyone.—

Lando’s cheeks flushed slightly, and he quickly glanced away, focusing on the flashing cameras in front of him. He wanted to brush it off, to act like it didn’t matter, but it did. It mattered more than he wanted to admit. He’d kept his distance after they broke up, but the thought of Amelie being single again made him wonder.

Could they find their way back to each other?

His heart gave a small, hopeful leap at the thought, but then the fear crept in again. What if things weren’t meant to be? What if they were too broken to fix? What if they had moved on? What if she didn’t even want to hear from him?

Lando rubbed a hand over his face, trying to shake off the anxiety building in his chest.

The questions from the media began rolling in, but Lando could barely concentrate. His rehearsed answers tumbled out on autopilot, a mix of team strategies and hopes for the weekend’s race. The usual banter with Carlos helped mask his distraction, but every now and then, his mind wandered back to her. The confirmation of her breakup had shaken something loose in him, and now, it was all he could think about.

Between questions, Carlos nudged him again, his tone light but his gaze knowing. —Mate, you’ve got to stop overthinking it. If you want to talk to her, just do it.—

Lando shot him a look, his voice dropping to a whisper. —It’s not that simple.—

Carlos shrugged, clearly amused. —It’s always been that simple. You just like to make it complicated.—

Lando didn’t respond, though he couldn’t argue. It wasn’t like he could just message her out of the blue, not after everything. What would he even say? Hey, saw you’re single again. Fancy a chat? It sounded ridiculous even in his head.

Now, sitting there in the media room, he couldn’t help but feel a flicker of hope. Maybe this was his chance. Maybe he could finally say all the things he’d been too scared to say before. But then, there was that other voice in his head, the one that reminded him of how badly things had ended between them. The arguments. The silence.

Lando shook his head, trying to snap himself out of it. He needed to focus on the race, on his performance. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. He remembered the way she used to look at him, the way she laughed at his stupid jokes, the way she made him feel like he could be more than just a driver, more than the guy everyone expected him to be.

And now, she was single again.

The thought both thrilled and terrified him. He didn’t know if he was ready for this, if he was ready to face her again. But a part of him wanted to try. Wanted to see if there was still something there, something worth fighting for.

As the media session wrapped up, Lando stood, stretching his arms over his head. Carlos clapped him on the back, grinning. —You’ll figure it out, mate. Just don’t fuck it up this time.—

Lando laughed, though it felt hollow. —Thanks for the vote of confidence.—

Carlos smirked, already walking away. —You’ll need it.—

Lando lingered in the room for a moment, his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared at the floor. He could hear the bustle of the paddock outside, the hum of engines and the chatter of fans. Normally, it was the kind of atmosphere that energized him, but today, it felt different. He felt... restless.

He pulled out his phone, his thumb hovering over her contact. Her name stared back at him, a name he hadn’t seen on his screen in months. He hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. What would he even say? Would she even want to hear from him?

He locked his phone and shoved it back into his pocket, letting out a frustrated sigh. He couldn’t do this. Not now. Not yet.

Instead, he walked out into the paddock, the sunlight hitting his face as he took a deep breath. He needed to clear his head, to focus on the race weekend. But as he made his way back to the McLaren garage, he couldn’t shake the thought of her. The hope. The fear. The possibility.

Maybe we’re not meant to be, he thought again, but this time, it didn’t feel so convincing.

Maybe we are.

[world-of-wales]

THE WALES DIARIES ♚

14 JULY 2024 || WIMBLEDON TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIPS 2024 : GENTLEMEN'S SINGLES FINAL

The Princess of Wales in her role as the Patron of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club attended Day fourteen of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships

Catherine was accompanied by Princess Charlotte and Pippa Matthews for the event making it the first official Mother-daughter engagement for Cat & Lottie

They were greeted by Deborah Jevans, Chairwoman of the AELTC, and spent time chatting with the British Tennis Players Emma Raducanu, Lucy Shuker, Lily Miyazaki, Sonay Kartal & Flora Johnson. They also met the members of the groundstaff and other representatives from the AELTC.

The Princess of Wales and Princess Charlotte then met and congratulated Wimbledon Ladies Champion Barbora Krejčíkova. Barbora lifted her tennis racquet to Lottie during the meeting.

Finally, they made their way into the Royal Box to watch the Men' Final where Catherine was welcomed to a standing ovation and cheers.

Carlos who Charlotte was supporting emerged victorious and recieved the Winners trophy from Cat. She also presented the Runner's Up trophy to Djokovic.

Later Cat, Lottie and Pippa congratulated Carlos for his win, and Catherine was sure to tell Carlos about the support he was receiving from her little princess.

[innytoes]

Jukebogs (Julie/Luke/Reggie/Bobby), Ghost Hunters AU

"Like every episode of Ghost Bros," Luke was giving his usual spiel to the camera. "Reggie and I will be doing our investigation in the house, trying to capture evidence. Then, our resident psychic Julie will tell us if this place is actually haunted, or if our camera man Bobby used his weed dealer's connections to find another random creepy abandoned house with no ghosts."

"Stop antagonizing him!" Reggie said nervously. "Last time you antagonized him, he nearly made me pee myself during the solo investigation."

Bobby turned the camera around to film his own unimpressed face. "Luke was supposed to find that ventriloquist dummy with the knife covered in ketchup, not you," he deadpanned, before swinging the camera back around to Luke and Reggie.

Julie sighed. She knew the boy's shenanigans was part of the draw of the show, but she was the one who usually had to deal with Reggie clinging to her all night, before ghosts generally listened when she told them to buzz off. Not that they usually slept in haunted locations, except for the season finale.

"Sooo," the cute boy in the crop top who hadn't been there two seconds ago started. "Can I mess with them? Please tell me I can mess with them."

"We are not messing with them!" Another boy in a pink hoodie said. "If we mess with them, we're going to have every ghost hunter with a shitty Youtube Channel clamouring through our house, messing with our stuff. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get that dent in the couch right for my ghost butt?"

"Don't worry," Julie whispered, as to not alert the (alive) boys. "We never give up our haunted locations unless the ghosts ask us to."

"Holy shit she is psychic!" Crop Top whispered gleefully.

"Tell them to stay off my couch!" Hoodie said urgently.

"I will," Julie promised. She could let Bobby know, and he'd keep them off. "But only if you promise to go easy on Reggie."

"What about the camera man?" Crop Top asked.

Julie blinked. None of the spirits had ever really interacted with Bobby before. The ones who knew what a camera was respected his position, and the ones who didn't were usually distracted by the two idiots loudly asking questions and waving around various gadgets and asking them to touch flashlights.

"You should totally mess with the camera man," she decided. Bobby was not so much a skeptic - none of the boys were, they believed in what Julie could do- but he was pretty un-phased by pretty much everything. "That would make a great season finale."

(Send me an AU and a Pairing and I'll write you a thing.)

[mirrorball-leclerc]

snow angel - track four

series masterlist // previous // next

DECEMBER 2022

JANUARY 2023

EARLY MARCH 2023

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, mickschumacher and others

rheareynolds the council sending me off for filming.

tagged: lilymhe

view all comments

user1 somehow all three are very grumpy about rhea leaving.

↳ rheareynolds they were. although the boyfriend has no place to be complaining. he's constantly travelling.

user2 the boyfriend is hot.

↳ user3 you can only see his hair and arms?

↳ user2 and?

vancityreynolds stop lying, i bet they're thrilled.

↳ rheareynolds just because blake always throws a party when you leave doesn't mean my friends and boyfriend do.

lilymhe you couldn't have found a better picture of me?

↳ rheareynolds i think you look very cute

↳ alex_albon that's my girlfriend!

↳ rheareynolds what's your point? she's literally my wife

charles_leclerc have fun but not too much fun!

user4 okay but her cat is literally the prettiest cat i've ever seen.

user5 see i personally love that rhea met lily and the other drivers through lando but they still picked her over him

↳ user6 to be fair they are friendly with lando but you can tell it's not the same as it was.

↳ user7 well lando cheated on his girlfriend and not the other way around.

LATE MARCH 2023

lilymhe and rheareynolds posted new stories

breakfast with the prettiest girl ever.

prettiest surprise visit ever.

charles leclerc rhea come home the children (me and lily) miss you

lily muni he please come back!

max verstappen added two people

logan sargeant bonjour!

logan sargeant i don't speak french

oscar piastri hello?

charles leclerc piastri i swear to seb if you tell nowins about this i will crash into you. alex albon jeez give the kid a chance to breathe sharl

rhea reynolds i wrap filming in may!

rhea reynolds oh hello. oscar piastri and?

logan sargeant i'm logan sargeant, alex's teammate. when will we be getting new music?

yuki tsunoda yes, when can i get new material to further torment norizz?

rhea reynolds july.

lance stroll BOOO!!

rhea reynolds but a single in june

pierre gasly IT'S BARELY APRIL?? THAT'S TWO WHOLE MONTHS AWAY?? mick schumacher sucks to suck charles leclerc YOU LET HIM HEAR IT BEFORE US?? YOUR BEST FRIENDS?? charles leclerc WHAT HAPPENED TO BROS BEFORE HOES?

george russell GIVE US THE TRACKLIST TO MAKE UP FOR YOUR SINS!!

rhea reynolds talk too much, i hate boston, poison poison, gemini moon, snow angel, so what now, the wedding song, pretty girls, tummy hurts, i wish, willow, 23.

charles leclerc claiming snow angel lily muni he claiming pretty girls max verstappen you two are too much sometimes. but i claim so what now.

rhea reynolds his ass is grass. trust.

oscar piastri trust i will be playing this in my drivers room.

MAY 2023

rheareynolds posted new stories

💞💞

i just woke up why the fuck is everyone blowing up my phone? did my nudes get leaked, not that i have any, or some shit? worse, what the fuck did ryan do now?

mick schumacher who fucking spilled??

esteban ocon i spilled milk earlier, why are you asking?? and how do you know??

rhea reynolds how the fuck did some spanish paper find out that i was dating mick??

charles leclerc oh no.

max verstappen YOU TOLD CARLOS??

charles leclerc HE PROMISED ME HE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!

pierre gasly HE'S FRIENDS WITH NO BITCHES!! WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE KEEP IT A SECRET??!!

oscar piastri this is bad. so bad.

lily muni he OH COME ON!! SERIOUSLY CHARLES??

charles leclerc I FUCKED UP OKAY?! I GET IT! I WILL SPEAK TO CARLOS!

george russell NO! NO MORE TALKING TO CARLOS!!

charles leclerc HE PROMISED!!

max verstappen HIS PROMISES MEAN SHIT! WE BOTH KNOW THAT!

rhea reynolds WHAT THE FUCK CHARLES??

charles leclerc I WAS ALSO DRUNK AND I TRUSTED HIM!!

pierre gasly i thought we learned our lesson after last time?

alex albon this is bad. this is so fucking bad.

rhea reynolds yeah no shit alex.

alex albon you didn't read the article did you?

lily muni he i swear to sebastian that i will be castarating both sainz and norris for what's being said. rhea reynolds oh fuck me.

are you dating mick schumacher?

rhea?

i know you're seeing these

are you seriously dating mick? my friend?

that's rich coming from the guy who cheated on me with a friend.

and if i am i don't think i owe you an explanation.

i also wasn't aware you guys were friends. you take one picture with a guy and suddenly you're friends.

are you fucking kidding me reynolds?

you're dating him?

him of all people

literally fuck you norris.

tell carlos to pull the fucking article or i'm suing his ass for defamation.

for what? telling the truth?

you and i both fucking know that article is straight bullshit. i never did anything to you. i was committed to our relationship more than you ever fucking were.

either he pulls the article or i swear i'll sue him.

fuck you and i hope you choke.

taglist: @emilyval @ihateyougunthersteiner @lesliiieeeee @firetruckstuckley @cashtons-wife @landonorizzz @yoremins @nikfigueiredo @badassturtle13 @cataf1 @silentreader128 @taylorsatl @alessioayla @greeneyesandsunshine @wisteriafence @mrscharlesleclerc @sesamepancakes @localwhoore @vettelsebastianvettel @Pinksstrawberry @yourbane @bborra @aandreea2005 @nichmeddar @asparklysoul @landossainz @scarletwidow3000 @cha-hot @ssararuffoni @cherry-piee @vroomvroommuppett @shineforever19 @kissesandmartinis

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¡leclerc-s speaks! i do know that the mick quote in the grill the grid video is in reference to seb, but the opportunity was right there so i had to go with it!! if i had a nickel for everytime i made carlos out to be an asshole i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. I PROMISE I DON'T HATE HIM!! I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM BUT HE'S LIKE BESTIES WITH LANDO AND IT WORKS OUT SO WELL.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Hello!! Thank you for the tags @thisbuildinghasfeelings @eclectic-sassycoweyes @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @nisbanisba @whatsintheboxmh @lightningboltreader @alrightbuckaroo 💕 From the upcoming next fic in the Kali Series: Tu Corazón Es Mío ❤️‍🔥

Carlos looks back at the road and shakes his head in amusement. TK’s been going through a reggaeton phase lately. His cousin Anita’s influence. They’ve been hanging out a lot since the wedding. She’s always loved TK, took an immediate liking to him from the first day they met. Over the summer she took him to a few dance classes — mostly afrobeats but he knows they went to at least one bachata class because he’d very bravely not laughed at TK when he tried practicing his new moves on him in the living room later that night — and she subs in as TK’s date to concerts sometimes when Carlos has a shift or is otherwise occupied. They swap music recommendations all the time, share a joint playlist on Apple Music, go to exhibits at the Mexic-Arte Museum downtown where Anita volunteers, and she even joined TK’s rec softball team last spring.

All of the Reyes primos accepted TK into the fold pretty much as soon as Carlos started bringing him around, to lunches at Tía Lucy’s and birthdays and the annual Fourth of July party at Tío Anthony’s lake house. Anita talked to him about the concerts he’d gone to since moving to Austin, Chuey wanted to know about all the secret spots to get good food in Manhattan, “not that touristy shit,” he’d said with a wave of a hand, “tell me where to get the real food.” Diego asked for TK’s number and immediately began abusing it to ask for medical advice any time he so much as stubbed a toe.

And TK had happily rolled with all of it, had fit in so well with his family that Carlos felt a faint twinge of regret for waiting so long to bring a boyfriend around. It passed quickly, though, as he watched TK exuberantly laughing along with Tía Lucy and his mom in the kitchen of his childhood home. There’s no one else he would have wanted to share this part of his life with. TK, with his sweetness and his openness and his kindness, who makes Carlos feel whole and unbroken and proud, has helped him feel more at home in his body and in his life and with his family than he ever had before, just by being there by his side.

Tagging @emsprovisions @fifthrideroftheapocalypse @bonheur-cafe @orchidscript @captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @honeybee-taskforce @chicgeekgirl89 @literateowl @ladytessa74 @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @welcometololaland @basilsunrise @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry @sapphic--kiwi @herefortarlos @firstprince-history-huh @fitzherbertssmolder @filet-o-feelings @fallout-mars @kiwichaeng @tinyluminaryzombie @corsage @paperstorm @guardian-angle22 @rmd-writes @iboatedhere @reyesstrand @never-blooms @decafdino @certifiedflower @irispurpurea @ironheartwriter and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

It just hit me that the boys all have graves somewhere... Do you think they've gone there? Has Julie? How do they feel about how and where they were buried?

sorry this took so long to respond to! I'm not sure if you meant it as a writing prompt or just a point of discussion.... but i wrote 2500 words on it anyway. Hope you enjoy!

Special thanks to @weneedglitter for her math and naming assistance :)

Send me prompts to help me reach my 2024 writing goal!

It’s sort of an accident, at the beginning. Reggie doesn’t mean to be looking.

He doesn’t really mean to be looking for anything, even if he sounded really suspicious and like he was a total lying liar face when he told Julie and the guys he was just “going for a stroll.” But honestly, it’s a coincidence more than anything that his stroll takes him to the bike rental place on the beachfront that used to be his house. And it’s a coincidence that the pimpled teen working the counter has that day’s mail laid out in front of him for all the world to see. And it’s a coincidence that in said pile of mail is a letter from Evergreen Cemetery addressed to “Archibald Peters or Current Resident.”

He doesn’t actually read the letter (his invisibility these days is spotty at best, and he doesn’t think committing felony mail theft would be much smarter of an idea than making an envelope float in mid-air anyway). He doesn’t know that the letter has anything more to say than “Hey you, know any dead people? Send ‘em our way!”

He doesn’t know it has anything to do with him.

But he goes home anyway— because home is Julie’s house, now— and slides Carlos’s laptop out of its super functional hiding place under his pillow, and looks up the address for Evergreen Cemetery.

And then he poofs into the kitchen and says, “Ray? Will you drive me somewhere?”

The car ride is quiet, mostly because Ray said, “You wanna tell me where we’re going?” when they got in the car, and Reggie said, “Mmhmm!” all high-pitched and obvious, and then never elaborated, and so trying to make other conversation seems rude. He just gives directions, and hums along to the radio, and Ray drives them to the cemetery where Reggie’s pre-ghost body may or may not be buried.

That’s the weirdest part of all of this. Not the mail theft or the bike shop or the idea that Reggie’s parents might have put him somewhere other than the Peters Family plot in Orange County where his grandparents and Great Aunt Barb are buried, but the fact that there is a body, very much dead and scientifically identifiable as his, lying under six feet of dirt somewhere.

He has a body. Now, currently, in most ways even an alive one. And yeah, he’s worked pretty damn hard to get this one, but it still feels really weird that there’s just another one… out there.

“Reggie?” Ray asks as he slows the car along the gravel driveway of the cemetery. “What…?”

He doesn’t finish his question, which is probably a good thing because Reggie’s not sure he has an answer. “Could you…?” he asks instead, staring down at his hands in his lap so he won’t have to look Ray in the eye. “Um. Would you maybe mind going in there and asking if… or, uh, where…” 

He trails off, unable to finish his own question either.

Ray makes a soft sound, somewhere between a hum and a sigh, and nods once before giving Reggie a comforting pat on the knee and getting out of the car.

He’s in there a long time. Long enough for Reggie to get all squirmy and start to feel bad for dragging him into this.

He can only imagine the conversation going on in there: Hi, can you please point me to the grave of a seventeen-year-old who died twenty-five years ago? No, no, I’m not related to him, nor do I have any legitimate connection to him that I can offer you as an explanation for why I’m asking. Please do not ask any follow-up questions.

Jeez. What was Reggie even thinking bringing Ray all the way out here, just on a hunch? As soon as he gets back to the car, Reggie should just tell him to take them back home.

But it’s only a few minutes later that the office door opens and Ray emerges, a piece of paper in one hand. He shakes hands with an older white guy— the manager, Reggie guesses, or whatever the term is for people in charge of the little office at a cemetery— and then heads back over to Reggie.

He gets back in the car, shuts the door, and sits heavily in the driver’s seat without buckling his seat belt or shifting the car out of park. Reggie opens his mouth to say something, closes it again. Shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Ray hands him the piece of paper. “You tell me what you wanna do, mijo.”

It’s a list— of names and plots, next to a handy-dandy little map of the cemetery. Three are highlighted— Reginald Peters. Alexander Mercer. Lucas Patterson.

Reggie shivers, the edges of the paper crinkling in his tight grip. “These are… Jeez. We’re all here?”

“Seems so.” Ray puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It was sort of a long shot, but I figured I’d ask while I was in there.”

Reggie stares at his name— at his friends’ names— just three lines on a list of ghosts.

He points at the plot number next to his name. “Guess we’re going here then?”

It’s not a far walk. Reggie leads the way, squinting at the map, while Ray follows politely behind. Ray doesn’t berate him or even comment when they get lost, and Reggie only gets them lost three and a half times. Eventually, they find it: a modest tombstone in a far corner of the graveyard, neatly kept with a still-fresh bouquet of lilies propped up against it.

The tombstone reads:

Reginald Alastair Peters

August 18, 1977– July 22, 1995

Beloved Son

Loving Brother

Cherished Bandmate

“Oh,” Reggie whispers, reaching out a tentative hand to touch the last line of lettering. He can’t imagine his parents choosing to spend extra money on that particular engraving, not without some serious coercion, but the only other option is…

“Someone’s been here recently,” Ray says, voice reverent and yet too loud, all of a sudden, in the otherwise silence. He reaches around Reggie to pick up the flowers and place them gently atop the headstone. “So your parents might still live nearby.”

“Maybe,” Reggie whispers, though he highly doubts his parents had anything to do with the bouquet. With effort, he tears his gaze away from his grave and down to the map in his hands. “Um. Can we–?”

He cuts off, swallowing against the lump in his throat, and instead points wordlessly at the plot numbers for his two best friends.

“Of course.” Ray puts a hand on his shoulder– warm, solid, reassuring– and takes the map with the other. “May I?”

Reggie lets it go with relief and wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. The walk between graves will give him a good chance to clear his head, and he’s way too distracted to follow a map without getting them lost way more than three and a half times.

But Ray only takes a few steps before he stops and frowns down at the map. He looks up again, turns a slow circle, and walks just a few feet before stopping again, the map falling to his side. “Oh. Well.”

Reggie goes to see what he’s looking at, and his breath catches in his throat.

There’s a good bit of space between them, but the next tombstone over from Reggie’s belongs to Alex. He continues down the line, and sure enough, the next one down from that is Luke’s.

They’re all distinctly different– Luke’s is the biggest of the three, Alex’s has a Bible quote snaked along the side– but they’re all adorned with fresh flowers, and they all have the same phrase tacked onto the end of their epitaphs:

Cherished Bandmate.

Cherished Bandmate.

Cherished Bandmate.

A cold feeling seeps through Reggie’s bones, not unlike the time he and Luke were playing hide and seek and he won by curling up inside the refrigerator.

“I think I wanna go home now,” Reggie says slowly, feeling shivery and stuck and ghostly in the worst way as he stands at the point of the triangle of his and his best friends’ graves.

“Of course,” Ray says, his voice muffled like he’s speaking through water or from very far away. “I’ll go get the car.”

But Reggie’s already poofed out.

***

He doesn’t intend to bring it up again. Because he’s not entirely sure Luke and Alex would want to know. And the last thing he wants to do is assume his friends are at the same place on the same journey regarding their life, death, and rebirth as he is.

He doesn’t want to hurt their feelings if he’s wrong about his theory. He doesn’t want to make them sad if he’s right.

But apparently Reggie’s not as good at concealing his own feelings as he’d like to think– even though Ray doesn’t say anything, and Julie at least seems convinced by Reggie’s “we were running errands” story, less than two days has gone by when she informs him that the jig is, in fact, up.

He’s sitting cross-legged on the couch in the studio, eating a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream very slowly because Ray made him promise he wouldn’t drip any on the sofa cushions.

Alex is out skateboarding with Willie. Luke is out “chaperoning” (read: mooching off of) Carlos and his friends’ laser tag party. Julie was ostensibly doing homework, which is why Reggie had taken his ice cream out to the garage, but now the doors open and Julie bounds in to join him, plopping next to him on the couch with a warm (if slightly mischievous) smile.

“Hey there, you,” she says expressively, poking him in the arm.

Reggie blinks, slowly drawing the spoon out of his mouth. “Hi, Julie.”

“We both know I’m not very good at beating around the bush,” she says, hands in her lap, “so I’m just gonna cut to the chase. The boys tell me you’re sad, and while at first I tried to convince them that maybe just not everyone thinks the 2002 Scooby-Doo movie is as funny as they do and that’s why you were a little quiet during movie night, the more I thought about it the more I agreed that you haven’t been your usual amazing chipper self… lately… So, uh. You know. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know,” Reggie says, nodding, because he does know, and clutches his bowl of ice cream to his chest for some comfort. “I, um… I’m not… sad, I just… Okay, so you know how your dad and I ran some errands the other day and I came back early because I didn’t wanna have to listen to his sad Dad Rock the whole drive home and he didn’t have a single good CD in the car?”

Julie nods.

“Well, I actually sorta made all that up. We went to see where the guys and I are buried.”

Julie’s face falls, her eyes going wide. “Oh. Wow.”

“And I didn’t say anything,” Reggie continues, “because I didn’t really know how I felt about it yet. And I didn’t know how Luke and Alex would feel. I didn’t know if they’d wanna know.”

“Of course we would, bro.”

Reggie felt the spark alighting in his chest a split second before Luke spoke, so the sudden arrival of his friends doesn’t startle him. He ducks his chin, staring into his ice cream so he doesn’t have to see if they’re mad at him.

“Reggie…” Julie puts a hand on his knee. “You didn’t do anything wrong– this is a really complicated situation to navigate. It’s just… we didn’t even know you were looking.”

“I wasn’t,” Reggie promises, but he doesn’t know how to explain himself beyond that. He sets his bowl down on the coffee table and slowly raises his eyes to meet his friends’ gazes. “We’re all together. The three of us, our– we’re not buried with our families.”

Luke’s and Alex’s faces go through several expressions before settling on twin looks of determination. “Good,” Luke says. “That’s how it should be.”

“Will you go back with us?” Alex asks. “Take a look all together?”

In the moment that Reggie hesitates, Julie takes his hand in hers and gives it a warm, reassuring squeeze.

Reggie takes a deep breath, feeling it whistle through live, healthy lungs, and reaches out his other hand. Luke takes it and offers his hand to Alex, who joins hands with Luke and Julie to complete the circle. When the ghosts who aren’t quite ghosts anymore poof out, they carry Julie with them, until all four members of Julie and the Phantoms stand solemn but supported in front of Reggie’s grave.

They take it in. The epitaph. The flowers, a bit crumpled from yesterday’s rain but nowhere near wilting. The edge of Alex’s headstone just visible in their peripheral vision, and Luke’s just beyond it.

“We are all together,” Alex says in awe. 

Luke shakes his head. “Why would our parents–?”

A voice behind them says, “I insisted.”

They spin around. Reggie didn’t hear anyone approaching, and yet standing just a few feet back, dark sunglasses obscuring his expression, is Trevor Wilson, three bunches of fresh wildflowers tucked in the crook of his arm.

He nods toward the grave behind them. “They were gonna take you halfway across the state, and the Mercers wanted Alex cremated, and I wasn’t even invited to the funerals but I pitched a fit. Told them I’d pay for everything– the plots, the services, the upkeep– if only they’d keep you all… intact. And together.”

Reggie’s heart does an Olympics-worthy gymnastics routine inside his chest. “You added the bandmate line?” he guesses.

Trevor shrugs a little sheepishly. “I snuck it in on the paperwork. Don’t think Luke’s dad ever forgave me.”

“Yeah, well, my dad can–” Luke starts to say, and then trails off, shoving his hands in his pockets so it’s a little less obvious that they’re curled into fists. His voice is strained but sincere when he says, “Thanks, Bobby. For doing all that.”

“It’s the least I could do.”

With some hesitation, Trevor steps forward and past them, to lay one bouquet at the foot of Reggie’s headstone.

It feels right, for them all to be there together, paying homage to the people they once were.

Reggie’s glad he found this place, even if it was sort of an accident.

--

@wr0temyway0ut

@phantomwriter95

@littlepetbee

@secondhand-sunlight

@ddaxnggirl

@trustworthytoast

@interestinglittlerelationship

@fangirl17-07

@manualamadrugada

@easybugboy

@moonlit-asthers

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

WIP Wednesday

thanks for the tags @paperstorm and @alrightbuckaroo! today for wip wednesday i present to you: nothing! just kidding, i would never do that, i will show you the temperature blanket at the end of this post, but first i have to tell you about my next project that i have been trying to start for 87 years since september. (if you are just here for the blanket, skip to the bottom of the read more.)

so, back in the summer @carlos-in-glasses posted her version of the step by step sweater by florence, and i thought, hey, this would be lovely to make for my grandfather! but the pattern uses wool yarn, and the man will not hand wash a garment. everything he owns has to be able to go in the washer and preferably the dryer, although i could probably convince him to air dry a sweater. maybe.

so anyway, i'm on the hunt for either a cotton or acrylic yarn that is soft enough to be comfortable as a sweater and the right thickness. i have gauge swatched two different yarns at this point. the michael's stores have very limited selections within these parameters, there isn't a joann's close to my college town, and i won't shop at hobby lobby because of the rampant homophobia and smuggling of human remains. so i've been stuck for a while, just endlessly gauge swatching and getting frustrated. (for the non-knitters, a gauge swatch is where you knit a small-ish section to make sure your yarn is the right thickness and you're using the right size needles.)

so then randomly my cousin sends me a youtube short of someone saying they made this sweater with pound of love from lion's brand, which is an acrylic yarn! my yarn woes may be over! of course, the colors i need are not available at the michael's, but that's okay, we're going out on tuesday night and we can check to joann's then. so we go to joann's at like, 7:45. the sign out front clearly says it is open from 9-9. all the light are on inside. the doors, however, are locked. my mom and i stood there for like five minutes knocking on the door and waiting for someone to show up, but it was just locked and seemingly abandoned by whoever had been working there? so anyway i STILL don't have the yarn i need and i am starting to think the universe doesn't want me to make this sweater. luckily i am more stubborn than the universe and i will persevere.

and now, the 2022 temperature blanket! i have been working on this blanket for so long that two of the yarn colors i originally picked have changed formulas lmao. but if i had bought all the yarn i needed originally i wouldn't have any space in my closet for clothes, so oh well.

as a reminder, this is the first temperature blanket, which is january to june 2022. mug for scale. it's very stretched out because it is so heavy. i rarely get to use it now that i'm home because my family loves it and always steals it.

THIS is the current wip. it is currently july through most of october 2022. again, mug for scale. i am finally free from the purgatory of purple and red and now i get to enter endless yellow territory. yippee!

tagging: @whatisamildopinion @strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @welcometololaland @rmd-writes and whoever else wants to share!

[inchidentally]

Lando's eyes always sparkle when he looks at Oscar and it captures my heart every time. You can see that Lando likes Oscar very much and his eyes don't even hide it. God, their relationship is so intimate that sometimes it's hard to watch without feeling like a third wheel. Oscar, I don't know how you did it, but as a Lando fan, I'm grateful that I get to see this version of Lando every time he's around you.

straight up anon, the shift in Lando when he got a teammate who exists on the same natural wavelength as him has been a thing to behold ??

like, Lando is someone who goes through life looking for romance and he so easily gets a crush on anyone who populates his world with something special or beautiful. that's what has made Oscar such a unique relationship for Lando because Oscar doesn't consider himself or his life at all in the world of romance or fantasy. he considers himself extremely practical, "low frequency" and enjoying the simple things in life. he's not at all a typical heroic figure like Carlos or a big camera-ready personality like Daniel. Lando's interest in Oscar has been a slow but steady curiosity that has grown even without Oscar initiating a joint hobby or going on outings together or playing up a bromance for fans. Lando was definitely a little unmoored by the lack of all of that for a while!

the only two aberrations in Oscar's calm and cool are his pursuit of F1 and his fascination with Lando, which we know to have been intertwined as early as him moving to the UK at 14. there is serious romance in the way they ended up as teammates and major drama of Oscar's determination to get that seat.

but! then there's Lando saying how he sees them as similar to each other back in July 2023! bc Lando had always used self-mockery to interrupt his moments of earnestness and in a lot of ways was always striving to be Just A Guy to fit in with the guys in his life. his creativity would pop out very occasionally but mostly he became known for being naturally funny and able to click with just about anyone by matching their energy and adapting to their humor. he even took great pride in The Lando Effect - which ironically was more about Lando changing to suit Carlos and Daniel, who he has almost separate versions of himself with. he was the baby brother as always, wanting to hang out with his older brothers and wanting to fit in.

and then he gets Oscar as a teammate who seems content to just stay back and watch Lando and observe Lando and learn everything about Lando he doesn't already know. who seems to have no limit when it comes to handling the full range of Lando's personality and never tells - or even jokes - that Lando should change a single thing, even when it directly impacts Oscar. Lando doesn't have to match Oscar's energy and it turns out! they both like it best when Lando doesn't try!

which is when we started seeing lando.jpg reemerge and 7 podiums and a new hunger for even more and higher expectations of himself and a calmer, more authentic - less cartoonish - Lando on camera in challenges and social media. he even said how Oscar taught him by example the importance of "keeping calm and being yourself". of course silly, fun Lando is still there! he's still little brother to Carlos and Daniel and George and Alex! but those are now some of the many facets we've gotten to see in the past 14 months!

the winter break was a revelation because Lando spoke to fans solely through his camera lens and the reflections of the beautiful world he saw as he traveled. no goofing, no pretense, no corporate. his chosen pose for all his photos was partly in fun, partly symbolic of his confidence that he didn't need to sell these photos as selfies for them to blow up all over social media.

and all the while Oscar was quietly on his own down time and training, liking Lando's posts and saying "you went everywhere!" and listening to Lando recount it all.

then Lando came back to work this year and everything about him wore a new sheen of beauty and romance to it, including him having grown more beautiful. he's used his beauty more consciously when modeling and even LN4 and Quadrant took on a more stylized look. his new McLaren contract announcement was an entire aesthetic complete with a short film.

like, obv this whole post is me going off on a whole stupid thing but just. Lando was always meant to live his life in a unique way and he was always meant to see things through romance and art and music. he wasn't supposed to apologize for enjoying racing as a means of attaining perfection one day. and there's Oscar who reflects back to Lando all the quirks and things that make Lando unique that he's memorized over the years, listening to Lando's music in place of the usual silence in his own driver's room, helping Lando navigate unknown food and new lengthy words and knowing when Lando is comfortable to take the lead in public speaking and when Lando needs Oscar to step in and handle it. pushing Lando all the time as a teammate and the whole friction creates the pearl analogy.

idk it's just not as huge a leap as I thought last year to say that Oscar's comfortable, placid life has long had a splash of color in it at last in some part because of Lando and that Lando has become the most authentic and brilliant version of himself at least in some part because Oscar is there to always appreciate it.

like this little moment of Lando giving Oscar a nickname and Oscar finding it the best thing he's ever heard and Lando's half-stunned and delighted smile at being able to do that to Oscar is just all of that distilled:

Oscar's confidence has returned and he's smoothing over the awkward PR duties while Lando is relaxed and confident and the little quips like this just come so naturally. (the way Lando actually wriggles in his chair with delight over Oscar's reaction !!) like, Lando doesn't have to try ! he doesn't have to try to be anyone but himself ! there's someone here at work with him all day and every day who is delighted by him no matter what !

and what's even better is apparently! now that they both understand and exist on that wavelength together, they've returned from winter break circling around each other and looking for each other more than they ever have <3