#but he doesn't seem to have any concept that his actions hurt people?? or he makes excuses for it??

[mostlydeadallday]

sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not feel like a prey animal in my own house

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Talking about Adam and the villians of HB

Adam is such a dissapointing villain for Hazbin Hotel that absolutely doesn't make use of the great opportunities they had for the bad guy of this project. Like, what is Adam? A sexual, irrational, rockstar asshole who kills demons for fun and is shown to be completely idiotic and unable to make any good point for his actions. And that sucks.

Atleast to me, them making Adam an irredeemable asshole type just seems like the show acknowledging that they can't take any actual feedback on Charlies idea. He is a strawman who never really gets to be anything else until his final moments, when they want you to care about his fight. The show doesn't want you to actually think critical about what Charlie has planned it just wants you to think she is right, by making you hate Adam, by making his side actively carry out genocide. The fact that a show all about revealing that people have layers and presenting seemingly morally grey areas in them has a villian who is completely one note and just evil and irrational because the show needs him to be is not great.

There are actual things that can be criticized about the Hotel and the idea of redeeming sinners, but Adam can't call any of these out because then Charlie would have to defend herself, which she can't do and then you would realize that the writers couldn't think of arguments for why she is right. And then Charlie would come off as not as great as they want you to think she is.

What if he had called out the fact that genuinely no demon seems to give a shit about being a better person. We don't get a definitive time for how long Charlie has been working on the Hotel but we can assume that it has been atleast a little longer. We see her advertise her idea on the news in the pilot and the Hotel makes an advertisement in the first episode, so we know that it's pretty open information that a place where demons can redeem themselves exist. Yet in the entirety of the pilot, season one and however much time lays between the two, only two sinners came to the hotel to change (im not counting staff members because they are there to work, not to be redeemed).

Angel Dust and Sir Pentious are the only ones who came to stay, which either means that just no other sinner cares to be better or that Charlie is not taken seriously and that her hotel is viewed as stupid in concept alone. And you have to remember that even these two didn't initially join because they genuinely wanted to change.

Angel just decided to stay because it was a cheap place to live where he wouldn't have to see Val. And while Pentious does decide he wants to be better, we don't know if he would have even done that, had it not been for the agreement he made with Vox (which made him come to the hotel with bad intentions in the first place).

Why doesn't Adam get to point out that sending Sinners to heaven might be a bad idea when there are probably people that they hurt or may have even killed up there. Like, Angel Dust was in the Mafia and you can assume that he has quite the killcount and it's very possible that some of his victims are in heaven. That goes for every other demon too, they're down there for a reason. And while sometimes that reason might be something stupid or irrelevant, just giving every demon the benefit of the doubt and a chance to get to heaven (in theory) seems pretty irresponsible.

That is also completely ignoring the fact that Charlie's method has no proof of even working. Seemingly in the entirety of hell existing no sinner has ever redeemed themselves and went to heaven until Sir Pentious, which was mostly an accident as well.

I'm not saying Adam had to be likeable or relatable, but it's pretty obvious that they made him so hateable just because. He can't just be an obnoxious, sexist asshole because that's not blatantly evil enough apparently. He also has to commit genocide for no reason other than that he enjoys it. Again, im not saying his genocide should be excusable, but he should have a reason that isn't presented as him just doing it for fun because hes a jackass (he should have a reason that would make what he is doing okay in his own eyes where the viewer could understand how he views the world without having to agree necessarily).

Writing evil characters who are purely bad because they just are can work. But in my opinion that shouldn't be the main villian, especially not in a show where the central idea is supposed to be discussing morality and moral greyness.

Cioccolata from Jjba is a villian where this works in my opinion. He is just evil and Araki really plays that up. He isn't just a crazy doctor type who violently experiments on people for fun, his backstory also shows that he has been doing this since he was 14 and started with driving elders to suicide. And also he films everything he does because he just likes watching people suffer. Cioccolata really is just irredeemably crazy and sadistic but it works for him because he is just a side antagonist and therefore doesn't have the burden of playing as a direct counter to our main protagonist and because for all his immoral actions he still has philosophy behind that. A fucked up philosophy but an understandable (not excusable) one nonetheless. He explaines that in his eyes people can only experience true happiness from two situations. Either when your own despair is replaced with hope, or when one watches other people fall into despair themselves. In his eyes, the more people he watches die, the more he understands the human race and the stronger he gets, which leads into another aspect of his philosophy, which is that the strong have have the right and responsibility to rule over the weak. That is why I think he works.

We actually get some insight into Adams deeper character motivation in his last moments. When he gets upset that the demons aren't just falling at his feet, worshipping him, even though he is the original man all life came from. And that would be a good idea to expand on, that Adam has this intense sense of entitlement that leads him to despise the demons because he doesn't have power over them, when he feels like he should. And because a crowd of people that don't worship him, feels threatening to him, he would want them gone as to not possibly risk his position of power with their ideas.

That could be the reason for why he despises Charlie, because she is a demon who makes her own plans to save her people, which would mean they could start to follow her and work with her, rather than idolizing him. Something like that would work so well for his character and would fit this saviour attitude that some religious people have when "helping" atheists by recommending that they should be religious to make all their problems dissapear or something (no shade to people who genuinely find peace and safety in their religion I think that's actually great but it's not a solution for everybody). The last moments he has give great insight into what his character could've been, had they focused on this, rather than always just having him say how much he enjoys killing demons for no reason.

And in the song he has he also nearly approaches giving another possible reason for his actions (that being that he just doesn't care because demons already had their chance to be good, didn't choose that and now don't deserve a second chance), but that is also never expanded on and is pretty much ignored throughout the season.

Also I find it interesting that Adam has to be completely and irredeemably evil, hated by everyone, while Lucifer gets away with just letting the people he is supposed to rule die like it's nothing. Lucifer didn't to anything to stop the exterminations, he didn't contact his daughter in quite some time and actively mocks her idea when first meeting her after these months of not giving a shit for her or what she does (her idea that is supposed to save his people from literal death btw).

We see him easily finish Adam off in the finale which begs the question for why he just never cared to do anything before. But it's fine because he's just so silly and goofy and actually cares a lot for Charlie say's the show. That is why he gets to be redeemed in the same episode he appeared in for the first time and no one is allowed to question him because then you're just not nice and understanding.

Lucifer didn't have to like sinners. I think his approach of basically leaving the sinners to their own devices is pretty interesting. But HH wants you to hate Adam and like Lucifer without acknowledging that people who just watch bad stuff being done without doing anything about it are also shitty. And for Lucifer it seems extra shitty because we see he can literally just defeat Adam and he just didn't do anything for this whole time.

Helluva Boss has this problem too where it picks characters it wants you to like and if you don't like them then you're just wrong. And therefore no villian gets to call these characters out without being shown to be either stupid, irrational or mean.

Striker was genuinely interesting and cool when he first appeared. He was an antagonist who had understandable goals that tied in well with the trajectory of the story. The classism in hell's society is a pretty relevant theme for HB. We see that Blitzø has to sleep with Stolas to be able to even do his job and earn a living, we see Imps just being tossed around and abused and hear Stolas say stuff like "impish little plaything" to Blitzø. Striker wanting to take the demons of high rank down to make hell better for the Imps by ending classism made sense and was an interesting take to see. Especially since at that point the show didn't insist on Stolas being this misunderstood good guy who just cares soo much for Blitzø, there was a sense of suspense maybe to watch wether or not Blitzø will go along with Striker or if this interaction might influence how he views his clearly predatory "relationship" with Stolas.

But all of that got thrown out the window because in s2 we just can't have people criticise Stolas, since actually acknowledging the fact that he benefited and actively made use of hells classist system would mean that we wouldn't see him as a poor confused bean anymore and that one might actually think of some of the pretty bad implications the Stolitz relationship has. So now Striker is a completely obvious, self obsessed bad guy who loves himself so much that he monologues about how great he feels when torturing Stolas instead of just killing him while they also gave him a weird gimmick where he doesn't like it when someone makes a sexual remark and gets so upset that he drags out Stolas' killing and gets defeated by Millie and Moxxie because of it (the same guy was established as a great assassin in another episode).

They also removed all the backbone to his ideology. He still talks about Stolas diminishing Imps in "Western Engery" but it lacks any point because they have gone so far with woobifying Stolas that he is presented as sympathetic and Striker as bigoted. Striker also acts like he can't kill Stolas because Stella called off the assassination on him. I get him being upset that he won't get his money for the kill but he still has very clear reasons for why he would want Stolas dead regardless (atleast he had when he was still a cool character). It's not like suddenly not being hired anymore would make a big change for him.

Killing Stolas could have consequences because Stolas is royalty, but these consequences always existed for him even while Stella was requesting the assassination. Stella would obviously not want others to know that she is reponsible for Stolas dying (then again we don't know if that would even matter since demons generally don't care about killing others until it's plot relevant) and the point of an assassin is that people are killed in a way that can't be tracked back to someone, so Striker should also not face issues, especially since he is apparently a really good and threatening assassin.

Striker was interesting until the show decided it liked Stolas too much for people to call him out and be presented as reasonable. Stella was turned into just an abusive, whiny and stupid bitch who just hates Stolas and wants his money instead of acknowledging that she pretty much has the same backstory as Stolas, who we are constantly told to feel bad for because of his childhood (arranged marriage, forced to have a child and a set-up relationship neither of them wanted).

Verosika is really not relevant but usually also falls into the "bitchy and just rude" category because she doesn't like Blitzø (it's not as bad for her as it is with Stella but still). Asmodeus and Fizzarolli where really mean and exposed and embarrassed Stolas and Blitzø publicly. But the next time we see Asmodeus interact with Stolas he is just chill with him? Why? Blitzøs and Fizzarollis relationship was atleast handled in a way and we see him act rude towards Blitzø until they make up. But it still followes the theme of people who dislike Stolas and Blitzø either changing their mind or just being shown to be horrible to make their opinion seem invalid (also notice how these male characters in the story get to be forgiven for how they acted and show different sides to their character while the women are reduced to being bitchy).

Barbie Wire was also handled soo bad. She only appears in the last few minutes of her début episode and never gets to talk about specifically why she doesn't want to have contact with Blitzø in the first place. The focus is mostly on how hurt he is by the fact his Sister wants nothing to do with him, even after he worked soo hard to find her and just wanted to make things right with her soo bad. They also basically made her a groomer which just doesn't help her come off as reasonable at all.

For a show that wants it's main characters to do bad stuff and have to deal with being called out for that it surely doesn't like people actually calling them out.

The double standards applied to the villians as opposed to the "good guys" are also just amazing. Like Millie and Moxxie can complain about Chaz being a bad partner in hindsight, but when Verosika talks about Blitzø being selfish in their relationship it's all about how he feels. Loona literally throwing stuff at Blitzø, hurting him just because he dared to carefully point out a true fact about her behaviour is played for laughs, but Stella abusing Stolas is super duper evil and we all hate her now (not saying it isn't bad but the show shouldn't pick and choose who is funny when abusive and who is evil when abusive). The I.M.P taking out random people because they were paid to is fine, but Striker attacking Stolas after being hired is bad just because he also happens to have a (understandable) motiv for why he would want to do it regardless of his job and because Stolas just so happens to be a main character. Blitzø and Loona commenting on Moxxies weight is funny, but when Mammon remarks that Fizzarolli gained a few pounds he is just bad.

That's just my opinion on some of the antagonists in HH and HB. Mammon is pretty much the only villian I really care for in both shows (also Stella and Striker before they got ruined). I mainly think antagonist are either really underused (Vox, Velvette, Verosika) or were just incredibly mishandled (Adam, Striker, Stella). Part of this post was just an excuse to talk about Jjba tho, which I always love.

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

- canine, but mine (pt. 1: acquaintances)

pairing: huang renjun x reader

au/genre: hybrid!au, fox hybrid!renjun, human!reader, virgin!renjun, smut, fluff, angst (?), the au is kinda unserious

don't like it, don't read it, okay... *sighs*

also, don't publicly shame me for any inaccuracies. i admittedly do not ready many (read: any) hybrid fics...

word count: 2860 words

warnings: HYBRIDS!, bullying, comforting, petting (not the sexual kind), semi-public diddling, mentions of virginity, cumming untouched, the base of renjun's tail is very sensitive......., sub!renjun ig

a/n: happy renjun day! 🦊

taglist: @jaeminnanaaa17 @i6renj

Ever since Renjun remembers, life has not been kind to him. Born not out of love between two people, but created in a laboratory for scientific research purposes, born not to be a part of society, but as an experiment for a potential weapon; part animal, part human, but not really part of either of those worlds.

Only after hybrid-rights-protests forced the government to take action against hybrid experiments, he was freed; free, but not really free, because that he'll never be. Instead, unloved by his creators that he could never bring himself to call parents, he continued growing up in a foster home, surrounded by kids that were nothing like him, kids that looked different than him, and kids that did not believe in the concept of "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself". The days he was not kicked by them, he was at least laughed at, mocked, or judged.

Renjun, objectively, knows that it's not his fault that he looks different, that he is different. He was just born, or rather: brought to life, with a set of orange fox-like ears on top of his fluffy, brown hair, a soft, bushy tail, tiny little fangs, and claws that he always keeps neatly trimmed to not accidentally hurt anyone.

The bullying did not stop when he started going to school, nor did it lessen the older he got. Kids are mean, Renjun knows that by heart, and he's never even had a friend. When he was 14, the girls in his class dared each other who would be brave enough to "kiss the freak", when he was 16, people started inviting him on dates only to laugh at him with their friends when he showed up all excited, and when he finally finished school and started going to university, he thought it would all be different. To be fair, he was no longer pushed into lockers, he was no longer spat at and people stopped pulling at his tail for fun, but the mocking did not stop. And even when he met another hybrid, a popular, big white tiger hybrid, he didn't receive any sympathy. God how he wishes to at least be a cool, strong hybrid, like a lion or a bear... or even a wolf! Why did they have to make him a stupid fox...

Ever since that day, he's told himself one thing: you're going to work hard, get through university and get a good job in the big city... where there are lots of hybrids and lots of supporters.

At this point, Renjun is fairly used to the bullying. With his goal in mind, he doesn't fight it, he just lowers his head, his ears laying flat against his fluffy hair as he waits for it to be over. He guesses that people are just not ready for hybrids yet.

One can only imagine his upmost shock when on the first day of the new semester, someone willingly sat down next to him. Admittedly, you were 5 minutes late and there were no other seats available, but you didn't beg anyone to please scoot over just so you didn't have to sit next to the weird guy with the tail. Renjun vividly remembers this day in philosophy class, as the professor went on and on about Henri Bergson and how the sand wasp instinctively knows where to sting the caterpillar to paralyze it, while Renjun was just smitten by the girl sitting next to him without gagging.

Unable to talk to you, he was just sitting there, smiling shyly to himself at this small act that seemed so big to him. He remembers almost falling off his chair in shock as you "psst!"-ed at him and awkwardly asked for a pen since you forgot yours. He remembers having to pinch himself as you smiled and thanked him, and told him you thought his shirt was cute. He remembers looking around in case you weren't really talking to him as you said, "see you next week!"

And when in the following weeks, you kept sitting down next to him even though there were other seats available, he was almost sure this had to be a dream. But it wasn't, and when during the third lesson, you softly asked for his name, he was this close to bursting into tears.

A few weeks into the semester, Renjun is currently sitting at the library, trying to memorize the different forms of utilitarianism. As always, he's sitting in a separate study room that he booked just for himself – a precautious attempt to not get made fun of as he's trying to concentrate. He crosses out his second attempt of trying to spell deontology correctly as he notices someone passing by the glass door to his study room. A moment later, the person backs up and looks inside, and he realizes it's you.

His heart stops for a moment as you begin smiling and waving at him, and he slowly lifts his hand to mimic the action hesitantly. Of course, you take that as an invitation to come in.

You close the door after slipping inside, still talking in a low tone as not to disturb anyone outside.

"Hey~" you say and sit down across from Renjun. He smiles and bites his lip nervously, "hey."

"You here all alone?" You ask softly, "is it okay if I sit with you?"

Renjun blushes. He knows you didn't think anything of it, but mentioning his lack of acquaintances is a bit of a sore spot for him.

"Sure... if you want," he says shyly, still not completely trusting that you're not going to turn this all around and make fun of him.

"Only if it doesn't bother you," you smile, "I'll be super quiet, promise!"

His smile is getting more genuine as you talk so casually to him. He just starts feeling a bit more comfortable, when sudden movements in front of the glass door make his head lift up.

A group of guys is standing there, pressing their faces against the door, clearly mocking his fox ears with their hands behind their heads. His heart sinks, he should've known this was going to happen today, it always happens when he's out in public.

"What-" you ask, noticing the pained look on his face and the way his ears are pointing down as he feels a wave of shame overcome him. You turn around, taking in the group of guys who're still silently making fun of the fox hybrid. "What the fuck..."

Renjun's ears twitch in surprise as you stand up, and he waits anxiously for what's about to happen. You rip open the glass door, lifting your finger into their face before speaking to them, hushed but still loud enough for a few people to lift their heads. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Did your mom not teach you manners? You should be ashamed of yourselves, you're university students, cut the crap with your preschool bullying, you fucking assholes," you tell them, and Renjun's eyes widen comically. You... you're standing up for him? For him?!

"If I see you doing this one more time, I'll get you kicked off campus... Now go back to being worthless idiots somewhere else. Leave him alone, I swear to God..." you say before closing the door, flipping them off, pulling down the blinds, and heading back to Renjun. To Renjun's upmost surprise, the guys actually left, and looking embarrassed at that, possibly because you just made one hell of a scene – and it's probably the sexiest thing Renjun's ever witnessed.

You sit down again, this time next to him. "You okay?"

Renjun breathes out shakily, ears twitching, tail swaying back and forth nervously. He's not sure what to make of this, someone standing up for him, it has never happened to him before. And before he can stop himself, he blurts out the question he's been asking himself since the moment your ass cheeks touched the surface of the chair next to him in that first philosophy lesson. "Why are you so nice to me?"

You halt, furrowing your brows. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He seems even more confused by that answer. "Um... You know, I'm a hybrid? Maybe you find that weird?"

You blink at him, "why is that weird?"

"Don't you... think I'm weird?" He asks. "Odd? Repelling? Freaky? Off-putting?? Anything???" He keeps listing adjectives as you keep shaking your head no. "Why... would you stand up for me?"

"I just don't like bullies," you state nonchalantly, "plus you're really cute."

Renjun's eyes bulge out of their sockets, tail curling up so suddenly that he feels like he's almost broken something in there. Maybe you're an animal friend, maybe that's all he is to you? "Cute? Like the fox parts or...?"

"Everything about you is cute. The fox parts are cute, but you'd still be cute without them."

Renjun just stares at you. This can't be real. He pinches the palm of his hand several times without you noticing, but he's just not waking up. If this is a dream, which he's almost certain it has to be, he could do anything he wants right now... like making your head explode- just to be sure! He concentrates greatly on it, but your head stays intact. He gives up. "You're not disgusted?"

"What?!" You look utterly confused, then your features soften into a look of concern. "Are people... usually disgusted by you?"

He nods without hesitation. "Usually, they just point and laugh, sometimes it even gets worse than that..." Renjun can't even bring himself to cringe as you put on a brave expression and tell him you're going to protect him from now on, because this is honestly the best thing that's ever happened to him. His heart melts at your words and it's hard to believe he's actually being comforted. There are no jokes being thrown around, no mockery, not even any pity. For once, Renjun feels like there's someone who wants to protect him. His lower lip quivers slightly as he holds back tears, and without thinking, he leans forward and places his head on your shoulder.

He hears you coo quietly, lifting your hand to his back and pulling him closer. "Is... is it okay if I stroke your hair?"

Renjun closes his eyes and nods. The warmth of the hug is comforting, the touch of your hands is gentle and soothing. His tension quickly dies down as he melts against you as he realizes that he has never felt like this before. And as you begin gently scratching and massaging his scalp, his ears begin twitching and relaxing at the feeling of your nimble fingers. He tries to hide the innocent pleasure that's shooting though his body, not sure if you would think it's odd, but his heartbeat is increasing rapidly. Your fingers feel like magic as they brush against his ears and scratch the base of his scalp. Suddenly a little too unhinged for his liking, he begins purring and nuzzling your neck, enjoying every single bit of your touch.

"God, you're adorable..." you say softly, making sure to pet him behind his ears and Renjun's entire body fizzles with pleasure at the feeling. As if it has a mind of its own, his tail curls around your legs. "Is this okay? Have you ever been pet like this?"

Renjun hums in delight, "I've always dreamed about getting pet like this..." Your fingers begin gently playing with his ears. At first, they twitch nervously, but soon, he relaxes into the touch. He notes that his ears are very sensitive when being touched by someone else that isn't himself, and he loves the sensation.

"They're so soft... I could pet you like this all day," you say softly, making Renjun smile.

"Do you...," he hesitates for a bit, "want to touch my tail too? It's even softer..."

"Do you want me to?"

Renjun nods shyly, lifting his tail a bit for easy access. The moment your fingers begin brushing over his fur, he shivers, whimpering slightly. Every other time, whenever someone's touched his tail before, it was rough and mean, but the way you oh so gently run your fingers through his fur makes him almost lightheaded.

"Your fur is so soft...," you whisper and he hums in response, eyes already closed as he gets lost in the feeling. His tail makes small circles behind your leg when you brush over the fur, he whimpers softly as your fingers move further up towards the base of his tail.

Your fingers feel so good, unlike anything he's ever felt before. He keeps questioning if this is love, or if this is what it feels like when someone really cares, but all he knows is that he craves more and more of this all consuming feeling, when suddenly, he lets out a short, loud moan. The tips of your fingers have unknowingly reached the base of his tail, causing a jolt of pure, white, hot pleasure to shoot through his body.

Shamefully, he buries himself into your shoulder, his tail curling around your leg. He's mortified as your movements pause for a second, he's sure he's messed up now, but then your scratching picks up again and he breathes out shakily, body twitching at the feeling.

You keep going and going, and he begins moaning softly.

"Is this still okay for you?" The softness of your voice makes his heart melt.

"Mhm..." is all he is able to bring out at the overwhelming sensation of being touched there for the first time.

"Have you been touched here before?"

"N-never..." Renjun whines softly. He's feeling himself harden in his pants, cock straining against the fabric of his jeans and he's sure you noticed.

"Are you a virgin, Renjun?"

The question catches him off guard, but honestly, he's too far gone now to feel shy about it. It seems that you have picked up on how sensitive he is, and he can't really blame you for your assumption. You seem so open and accepting of him that he doesn't even hesitate before slightly nodding his head, "yeah..."

"And you're sure that you want to experience... this with me?"

The feeling of your fingers on his tail intensifies with every second, Renjun feels dizzy, there's barely any blood left in his brain at this point, all of it damming up in his cock and every other sensible part of his body. "yes.. yes...!"

It seems like this is all you needed to hear to speed up your movement, fingertips scratching and petting him in the most arousing way possible, forcing whimpers and moans from his mouth. "Aahh... Ah..." He tries to hold back, but the sensation is too much for him. Your touch is too nice and it's making him lose control as he bites his lip to keep himself from letting out a vocal response, but it's not enough. He's starting to tremble, breath getting heavier as he begins panting harshly. This sensation surely feels very close to how he feels when he's about to cum.

And just the attentive person you are, you speak up about it. "Are you gonna...?"

"I... Aahh... I think so..." He says, his voice shaking as he speaks. "It feels so nice..."

Experimentally, you move your fingers to the underside of his tail, and Renjun's body jolts in pleasure, his whole body jerks as he moans out, mouth slightly open while keeping his voice down as much as possible given your current location. He reaches up and grabs your wrist to make you keep touching him there. "Please..." He says in a thoroughly pleading voice. "Don't stop.."

As he forces his eyes to open, he notices your eyes on him, your face so close to his, and his eyes inevitably dart down to your lips as he gasps for more.

Of course, you take it as an invitation to kiss him, and as soon as your soft lips merge with his, Renjun knows that he's going to cum. He feels like he's actually going to faint as the pleasure reaches new heights, your kiss building the tension up and up, his head spins as he feels himself tighten up.

Your movements quickly send him over the edge. The intensity of the sensation is making his body shudder as he pulls you closer toward him and he lets himself go, muscles tightening even further as he releases into his pants with a high-pitched moan.

Your hands carefully stroke over his tail again, your unoccupied hand coming back up to his hair to help him calm down. He's breathing heavily, body feeling fuzzy inside at the attention and from his intense release. "O-oh, God..."

"That was so hot...," you whisper, gently kissing the top of his head. He lets out a soft giggle. You successfully have made him blush once again. But just as he's really, fully calming down, he inevitably notices the sticky feeling between his thighs and cringes.

You chuckle softly as you notice the look on his face. "Maybe we should get you to a restroom..."

© 2024 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

Sorry for sending another ask so soon, but-

Don't be shy, spit the frog (italian way to say spill the tea)

I WANNA KNOWWWNWNFNGNG

okay i'm spilling some of the frogs, the tea, I WILL DESEMBUCHAR (word for spilling the truth in portuguese)

springtrap and bell (ballora) do know each other but from a certain distance (he's with the phantoms, and she belongs in the funtime crew). there's never this 'strange feeling' that they've met before because, literally... they never met!

the reason for them to be arguing a lot is due to remnant usage, whose importance is constantly brought up in the universe of BTC. springtrap uses them for his own selfish purposes, while bell is searching for more to help a friend stay active, amongst other reasons that involve the safety and entertainment of backstage residents.

bell is one of the very few bots that has directly confronted springtrap for his actions and usual mean behavior (sometimes on the same level of aggressiveness, other times a single glare is enough). she refuses to stay silent and reality downs on him that the stuff he's saying and doing is harming people.

they are basically the closest thing to human adults in this digitalized city of ghost children, with bell sacrificing a lot more of her time protecting those around her than springtrap (especially before they met)

bell is a chaotic, stubborn altruistic type paired up with self-destructive tendencies as a defense mechanism, considering she is painfully aware of her purpose as a child killing, remnant harvester robot. springtrap contrasts that part of her personality by being aloof, cautious and egocentric, and by pushing others away, acting as if the world revolves around his success in escaping UCN and becoming one with the entity. these contrasting traits often generate conflict, especially later on, when more secrets are revealed.

i like to think they help each other learn from their mistakes with this dumb, tom and jerry beef they have going on, but saying there's any hint of romantic love between them in the beginning feels objectively wrong (considering the amount of times springtrap has said hurtful and otherwise mean things to her).

both are competitive by nature. expect them to be counting how many remnants they caught in a single night.

the more they get to know each other the more they display their true selves, ofc. springtrap has a quieter, observant, genuinely concerned side where he listens instead of talking over people in that loud, cheeky and arrogant tone. bell seems to be a lot more of an anxious and impatient person, thoughts racing at all times and sometimes causing her to shut everyone out. black cat and orange cat behavior, respectively.

they often debate about human nature and the limits of artificial intelligence, and how they, two self-aware small pieces of a larger puzzle stuck in a digital dimension, fit inside these two labels. both are detached from either concepts, meanings losing importance the further they investigate. still, that doesn't stop them from displaying unwavering support whenever one is lost and afraid (works for both).

hand on shoulder, "are you alright?" glances, lending his cape, handmade gifts and favors. springtrap doesn't know how to be comforting, but he makes an effort.

he's more comfortable being secretive and working behind the curtains. events like claw machines suddenly functioning again, entire stages being repaired in a single night, random input of remnants in the electrical system, abandoned areas appearing tidy and organized... (they still wonder who's behind it all...)

when bell first showed up at the workshop for a simple repairs session, he took off her illusion disks and disabled the part of her programming that submitted to William Afton's orders. with that, the entity lost influence over her actions, and as a consequential effect, her eyes glow a bright yellow color, instead of the usual pink/purple hue.

compliments (lots of them), getting excited over the other's achievements, eagerly asking about their favorite topics. bell is that "saw this meme and thought of you" type of person.

scolding. both scold each other all the time. scolding as in "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING" and "oh wow that's the greatest idea you've ever had. i'm surprised we aren't dead because of your absolute GENIUS of a plan (/loudly sarcastic)"

[fashion-foxy]

You know something that's odd to me? How weirdly the child of the Beauty and the Beast get handled in media. (Obviously, my only examples are EAH and Descendants, but walk with me on this.)

The Beauty is someone who will, for better or for worse, always see the best in everyone. They are kind and good-natured but is usually someone who still holds people accountable for their actions and intentions, not what the Beauty thinks their intentions are.

The Beast is someone who typically does not look past the surface level of a person out of stupidity or willful ignorance. The Beast is also very selfish ,closed-minded , and stubborn. Unfortunately , that means in retellings, the Beast is the only one to go a character arc, and the Beauty comes off as judgmental or too forgiving.

Both characters being foils means that it could be a bit challenging to portray a character that is a result of both of those personalities, but if done right, it creates a very interesting character!

So, what did EAH and Descendants do with what they were given?!

Well, for starters, a bad job, but you already knew that. Let's take a look at Rosabella Beauty and Benjamin Florian No Last Name Given. (Idk most Descendants characters don't have last names)

Rosabella is judgemental, which could definitely actually be a super cool thing that she got from her dad, but based off the fact that she didn't go on an arc and it didn't get presented as a character flaw, I suspect this was accidental. Which is real shame. It would've been a really cool concept to explore Rosabella actually being the Beast.

She is also, by not getting any meaningful character development, giving off major 'I could fix him' vibes with Daring. Except, she's ignoring what's actually wrong in his life and looking at surface level interpretations of what she thinks he's like. Then, deciding he's a self-centered narcissist who she needs to fix so he meets her standards. Hey, wait a spell. She kind of seems to embody more of the Beast characteristics than the Beauty's. I wonder if the writers might have had other plans but were forced to change her into something else or perhaps Mattel wanted to sell a doll of her and Daring so they had to awkwardly force a relationship and not use their original plans?

Ben is way too forgiving. When we first see him, he says that he wants to give the Isle kids (kids who were born to villians who've been trapped in a magic prison all their life) a chance at a normal life, which is great! It's probably one of the best things a 16 year old king could do. So when's the next time he forgives someone? When he tells Mal that he knows she drugged him. So, it's at this point where you kinda realize that he isn't being too forgiving he's trapped in an abusive relationship. Once he sees that Mal realizes the implications of that, he goes back on it, and he tells her that it's not that big of a deal that it's ok that he still loves her.

When's the next time something like this happens? When Mal tries to erase some of his memories after catching her lying about using magic. He obviously yells at her because that's a fucked up thing to do. She downplays the situation and makes excuses. Shortly after, she runs back to the Isle. Ben, assuming that she had the best intentions, blames himself and ultimately gets kidnapped and then drugged again. All of these interactions are all portrayed as 'his fault' and that he'd deserved everything that happened to him because he was holding Mal responsible for her actions. In the third movie, he even stops doing it. Hades asks him why an Auradon kid gets to be excused and why everyone on the Isle doesn't, and he looks at Mal but ignores the question. Mal doesn't answer because she's the reason this Auradon person (Audrey) is hurt because she ruined her life and is currently being excused by everyone, including the writers, but Audrey won't. Ben definitely won't.

So, aren't these the best portrayals of the Beauty and the Beast characteristics? Because mixing the traits incorrectly. If Ben was given more Beast characteristics than just roaring sometimes. Mal wouldn't be abusive if their were actually moments where Ben was being unreasonable and too quick to draw surface level conclusions.

Rosabella wouldn't come off as rude and judgemental if she was given more Beauty characteristics. If Daring was actually self-centered and Rosabella considered others and thought about others instead of drawing conclusions.

[brucewaynehater101]

hii i just wanted to ask about the accuracy of the statement of "Talia abducted Jason during when he was arguably at his most vulnerable cuz catatonic and took advantage of his state (+no Bats knowing Jason came back to life) to indebt him to her and a cult + groom him to be a tool for whatever goal she had in mind" or if it's fanon and your opinions on this idea (+ actual canon if this statement is in fact fanon)

but just like how we play with the scale of good parent, bad parent Bruce we could also fuck around and do so much with this concept (fanon or not)

Hi! I'm not as familiar with this, so let's do the research together ^^ It's gonna be a long post!

I've heard many many many people curse out a few writers (I'm shitty at remembering names) for being a racist pieces of shit. I've also heard of Talia being thrown under the bus by a lot of writers. Here's a link to a wonderful Tumblr post that goes into Talia and how writers fucked over her character.

There's other posts, but this one quickly summaries what they did to Talia and briefly mentions the assassination of Ra's character as well.

Here's a post that goes further into Ra's character.

On that note, I have seen a few fics play around with two ideas that were (as far as I'm aware) retconned: Damian's conception being unconsensual and Talia having sexual relations with Jason.

As long as you keep in mind that these were retconned and come from racist, sexist, or both connotations, it's okay to explore the impact these actions would have on all characters involved (especially if we're utilizing the reasoning that Talia wasn't in her right mind during those actions).

That's a basic summary of why there's heavy debate around Talia and the al Ghuls as a whole.

Now! Let's get into Talia and Jason specifically!!!!

The comic run we want to look into is Red Hood - The Lost Days. I am unsure if there are any other comics that cover post-death Jason but pre-Red Hood. If anyone has any other canon material that covers or mentions this time period, feel free to comment, reblog, etc.

This is Talia's initial reaction to hearing about Jason:

She expresses concern, worry, and grief for Bruce

She then has spies give her updates on Bruce's situation. Everyone else states Bruce is "stepping up his game." She calls them fools (since Bruce is obviously just hurting)

Very quickly, we get into her discovery of Jason Todd:

So. Jason's catatonic and Talia was ordered not to inform Bruce. Regardless of if she wanted to, she would be betraying her father if she told Bruce

Then I'm just going to drop all of these panels:

This shows she somewhat cares about him. Whether that's for Jason or because of Bruce, that's irrelevant. She still cares and wants him to get better. She wants him to go home.

Talia only pushes Jason into the Lazarus Pits because she's run out of time

Now... she may be an unreliable narrator. She states she's doing this for Jason's sake, but it does seem like it's more for her own. Regardless, she doesn't have ill intentions.

Talia dips Jason in the Pits and then tosses him out

That line of hers seems suspicious, but I see it more as her trying to hide the fact she had Jason for so long. It's less "go be mad at Bruce" and more "gods, what is Bruce gonna think of me if Jason shows up on his doorstep?"" Selfish, but not in the way fanon characterizes it.

She had trackers on the bag, though. She just needed him away from Ra's

Ra's tells Talia she fucked up, Jason tries to blow up the batmobile, and then tries to tell Talia he didn't lose his nerve for revenge against Bruce

Talia realizes that reviving Jason with the Pit might have fucked Jason up

Jason asks Talia for her help with revenge against Bruce. Talia did not set that up. Jason was the one to suggest it without influence

Talia obviously does not want to be helping Jason right now. She still agrees, though

Let me just toss this here too:

So... She's not doing this completely because she cares about Jason or that it's the right thing, but she also sure as hell does not want Jason to be going down this revenge path

Despite all of this, there's this:

They then proceed to fuck.

Which is gross as hell, and how some people can say that she took advantage of him

I think them fucking got retconned, though....

So, it's slightly complicated?

In my personal opinion, the final answer is: "It is fanon!"

There may be some truth or canon behind it, but that most likely comes from more racist characterizations of her character. However, the canon material that explicitly covers this topic makes it clear:

"Talia was selfish with her help to Jason. She wants Bruce to love her. She thus ends up hiding Jason's existence out of fear of Bruce's reaction. She does not want Jason to be mad at Bruce or fight his dad."

This also matches the other characterization I've seen of this: "Talia uses the distraction technique to try to hold Jason back from murdering his own father. 'You can't murder Bruce without training, Jason.'"

To continue, whether Talia should've told Bruce or not is an entirely different matter. Sometimes, I've avoided telling people shit out of fear, which made the situations worse. It wasn't great of her to do that, but in no way should this villainze her. I also 100% love that this gives her a flaw. People make mistakes. She's trying. She may have gone about it poorly, but she did what she thought she could. It was selfish, but I don't blame her.

She could've also convinced Jason to give up his mission entirely right before they fucked. That's where it gets murky.

You are absolutely correct that we can use the fanon idea of the al Ghuls manipulating Jason. On the other hand, I haven't seen enough fics where Talia treats Jason like an unruly toddler instead.

"No, Jason. We can't murder Bruce. Obviously, you need training first." Her visible reaction is a motherly rolling eyes. Internally, she's just panicking ("fuck fuck fuck fuck. How do I curb bloodlust? How do I stop patricide? Procrastination!!!")

Anyways, thanks for bringing the question up! It allowed me to look into it and put my thoughts in order ^^

Feel free to read the rest of the run!

[shinsorokiri]

y’know i know a lot of people talk about how they love shane and seb because they’re the damaged men in the game, and like same 100%, but i also see a lot of people kinda dismiss sam as a golden retriever, positive, happy character. but if you really think about it, sam fits into the same category as seb and shane too. like:

1. his mother expresses multiple times to the farmer that although she loves her children, she very much longs to have a life where she doesn’t have to constantly worry about kids. in a way a part of her deep down wishes that sam and vincent didn’t really exist and it tears her apart and vincent isn’t necessarily old enough to grasp the concept, but sam is and you know he notices it. this is the woman who raised him and (i at least headcanon him) as someone who is very observant. he definitely notices these behaviors coming from her. and idk about you, but having an inkling that your mother is unhappy with her life in any capacity would really screw me up personally.

2. his father went to WAR. like fully went to war and i’m thinking he was in the army for 2 and a half years at least because he has a corporal badge (even though it’s upside down) but that means that he was away for bootcamp, then deployed, and if sam is around what? like 19? 20? that means that he became the “man of the household” at 17 or 18. Because I personally believe Kent was away for three to three and a half years. Bootcamp for about 10 weeks, straight to a base for more training, and it seems as though the active war made it so he got deployed into action fairly quickly. So, not only did Sam have an absence where his father should have been during the years he became a young adult, but he has to adjust to his father coming back and struggling with PTSD and quite honestly being shellshocked. (i also believe kent was honorably discharged, meaning something bad happened to him in the war. perhaps it was the same event where he lost many of his friends, but i fully believe the war is still ongoing even when kent returns to the valley considering the traveling merchant is still smuggling things into the town.) all the memories he had of kent are just memories now because his father will never be the same as he was before. And sam KNOWS that! even vince notices it!

3. he’s literally a rebellious skater kid, one of his heart events is him getting in trouble WITH THE MAYOR because he’s skating where he’s not supposed to, AND he purposely tries to sabotage the soup for the potluck and leads in community service hours. he’s a teenage dirtbag baby! a misunderstood edgy kid who acts out because he doesn't know how to express his feelings! and on top of that, with his adhd he’s even more misunderstood and people don’t take him seriously at all. he gets scolded for things that he seemingly just can’t help all the time and that just hurts him and makes him act out even more.

4. sam is also a damaged individual - he’s just better at masking it. seb embraces the darkness and accepts that he is an outcast and doesn’t try to hide the fact he is. shane struggles with addiction and depression publicly and it’s not negative necessarily, but he can’t hide it from anyone. sam has a warped idea that he cannot show his ailments, physical or mental because he needs to be strong for his little brother and give an example of what he believes a man should be (and because of the patriarchal society he lives in he doesn’t know that he can be vulnerable because no one told him because the man who would have been able to explain that to him during the years he really needed to hear it wasn’t there). i fear he suffers a bit from toxic positivity and desperately tries to rely on hobbies to distract him from his reality. 

long story short, sam is not just a silly guy, he has depth. i mean come on, he's best friends with sebastian for a reason! they’re similar in ways! he just doesn’t know how to talk about or express it. all this to say, sam is an interesting and deep character that shouldn’t be written off immediately by people.

sam supremacy! lmao

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

I have a desperate need for more ghoul!Joshua Graham. I just finished Honest Hearts again, and the brainrot has thoroughly set in 🫠🫠

Love your headcanons and fics!

Ghoul!Joshua Graham (Fallout: New Vegas, Honest Hearts DLC) NSFW Headcanons

[Minor TW for discussion of the concept of marital rape/unhealthy views of consent typical of Caesar's Legion.]

As I've touched on before, you'd be hard-pressed to get this man to even consider the idea that his constant pain and open wounds are the result of active ghoulification and not some sort of spiritual affliction. Ol' boy would believe he's the new Cain before he'd believe that being exposed to radiation when you're freshly, near-mortally wounded would turn him into a ghoul. He'll only believe you if you prove to him that radiation will help to heal his lingering wounds, and he'll only even entertain such a thing if he trusts you quite deeply, and Joshua Graham is not a man who trusts easily. You'll see this man's dick long before you ever hear him admit that he may be turning into "something else". I suppose you could trick him into radiation exposure to prove your point, but I think he'd react really poorly to that.

Once his pain is consistently well-managed, he still won't be enthusiastic about the idea of ditching the bandages, even when the two of you are alone. Yes, part of it is because his skin is still quite fragile, regardless of if he's largely healed of any significant wounds. Fresh scar tissue isn't very strong and he'll be easily re-injured. But that isn't the only factor that motivates him to keep his body and face largely hidden away, or even the primary one; he's also more vain than you'd suspect (or he'd ever want to admit to). As fearsome as his reputation had been before, as monstrous as he was (and is), he still thought himself quite easy on the eyes at one time. Being with someone so beautiful, and likely significantly younger than he is, will not soothe this insecurity, shockingly. The most he'll give you, generally, is unwinding the wrappings from the places you want access to; his mouth, his hands, his groin. That's about it until there's a reason for him to remove more in front of you. However, I think that once he was fully exposed in front of you once, he'd be more agreeable to do it again. The feeling of your smooth, plush skin against his own is actually quite intoxicating. In public, though, I'm not sure he's anywhere near a place where he'd feel comfortable not being wrapped head to toe.

Since he's already several years into the ghoulification process, his senses are already heightened; his sense of smell is especially acute, even through the bandages. He will use this against you as often as possible. Snuck off to have a secret joint or cig? Not a secret from Joshua. Turned on and trying to keep it under wraps? He sees right through you. He can even smell other people on you if he makes the effort to commit their smell to memory. God help you if you come back to him smelling a little too much like someone he doesn't approve of or want you around...you'll have some groveling to do.

Almost embarrassed by how active his sex drive becomes once the two of you are intimately acquainted and he's generally pain-free. It ebbs and flows a bit, but generally he finds himself wanting you to the point of action about every other day. However, when things are going especially well, he finds himself wanting you every day, sometimes multiple times a day. During these intense "on" periods, he tries his best to give you plenty of time to rest (and heal; he frets about the idea of his boldly fluids hurting you now that his whole body is slightly radioactive, so if you complain of any soreness after penetrative sex, he won't touch you for days afterwards, even if you plead...the fact that he can be quite rough doesn't seem to factor into the situation in his mind) and will "suck it up" as often as possible. The man is damn near sixty; he isn't gonna complain about having gas in the tank, but he does find himself feeling some chagrin when it seems like a strong enough breeze suddenly gets him going.

Has never been an especially deep or sound sleeper, and once he begins to accept what's happening to him, he sleeps even less. Not at all some nights. Many ghouls give up on the idea of sleep because they don't want to be haunted by dreams of the past; Joshua is constantly thinking about the past, so that isn't a big deal to him. He simply has a terminal case of Protestant (Mormon) Work Ethic and thinks its a waste to sleep if he doesn't feel the need. Of course, more time awake means more time for his desires to tempt him, and he quickly finds himself plagued by lust while you sleep. Trying to respect your need for rest, he doesn't often act on these feelings much, save for an occasional grope or kiss to your sleeping body. He finds this overwhelming temptation an indictment on his self control, and for that reason, he abstains from acting on his feelings outside of that. However, once you're married (and this man will marry you if you're sleeping together/dating; he isn't the type to date casually for many reasons that I don't think need describing), his thinking on the subject slowly evolves. You'll go from waking up to him staring a hole through his open Bible with an erection he refuses to address to waking up to him on top of you. Like I've said before, that Legion mindset still frames his opinions on many fronts, and in the Legion, the person you marry is basically your property to utilize as it pleases you. I mean, you love him, right? Don't you want to take care of him? Do not ask this man if he thinks it's possible to rape your spouse...you will not like his answer.

Already has the typical ghoul obsession with hair on his partner, whether he realizes it or not. Loves to play with your hair, subtly but affectionately; twirling the ends around his fingertip, smoothing it with his broad palms. Will braid your hair if you let him. Equally loves to thread his fingers into it at the roots and use it to yank you around while he fucks you, bury his face in it as you both come apart together. Also quite intrigued by the soft downiness of any pubic hair you may have. Likes to spend time sucking and nibbling at your inner thighs as an excuse to rub his cheek against it.

[ladyluscinia]

I actually do think that possibly the main reason Edward's entire characterization arc around his relationship to enacting violence just... unceremoniously gets cut the second 2x08 opens is because it gets in the way of plot too much.

It's already getting yanked around by plot needs in S2 in general - They make him really push the boundary in the establishing Kraken era montage (gory discretion shot or no they aren't doing plausible deniability on "the big job" very well) and, yeah, ok, it does seem like they try to work with it being an evil-era rule slip and he returns to #NOkilling with Ned Lowe, and becomes fully #NOviolence to make him run away in 2x07. It's not an issue with Ned because they want Stede to kill him (and in the process play Ed's hugely complicated central trauma he could barely mention in 1x06 as a slightly funny speech opener, I guess? First red flag tbh). Ed's whole deal as a character gets fuzzier and more nebulous as the season goes on - and crucially more detached from his past traumatic experiences - but it doesn't really strain the writing because they can just have him stand around and look pretty from 2x04 to 2x07.

However... making their concept of 2x08 work if the primary badass can't actually hurt or kill anyone without having a breakdown would be really fucking hard.

The British soldiers who destroy the Republic of Pirates are introduced to be slaughtered mooks 🤷‍♀️ like, Jenkins is literally in interviews laughing about them being Stormtroopers who are there to die. The final episode is all about the plot of this daring escape / rescue from the occupied town. Also this conflict has all the makings to spill over into a potential S3, either with a payback plot against Ricky or getting run from the inn by the Brits hunting pirates like Rhys Darby keeps talking about. They literally have Blackbeard in this show and a hundred different ideas for kills they could shoot effortlessly cool in multiple fight scenes. Pulling off an awesome action sequence like this hinges on the heroes treating the mooks as disposable enemy cannon fodder, and it's not an issue because that's how plots work.

Except the little bump that all those people he could never bring himself to kill according to S1 rules would also have been - for all intents and purposes - enemy mooks. There's no difference. Edward's trauma means he can't kill Stormtroopers, either, and he hasn't been making any effort to change that.

So you cut the trauma or you cut the Stormtroopers, and Jenkins liked those Stormtrooper fights.

[goodolddumbbanana]

I feel like the show is set up to Old Moon Vs New Moon and Old Moon with a little bit of Sun (because honestly, bet the writers only let Sun screams and let the people do the job because Sun always views as useless) Vs Dark Sun. But I honestly want to see a scene, when New Moon greets Sun again after being deranged for so long. It would be delicious if it was the time New Moon only tried to get something in Sun's home and Sun accidentally walked in, unarmed, without anyone even Jack around.

Can you imagine what Sun would feel like in that moment? To see a version of your brother, the one whom you got so used to loved, gone insane and now corporate with an evil version of yourself, possibly trying to kill your family or rule the world?

Because here he is, New Moon, standing in front of you, with emotionless on his face, mocking you like you guys never have any emotions or attachment for each other.

"Why would I care if I hurt you guys, Sun? Didn't you guys just replace me with an Old one? Didn't I just a replacement, a copy, to help you guys to do some things that you are too stupid and useless to do it yourself?"

And you see how the man who wears your brother's face, seems more happy than he ever was when he stayed with you, (like the time he hangs out with Solar ) And you just realized a hard truth, that you would never ever enough for him, that he doesn't concede you as a threat like another. In fact, he just replaces you without another and seems so proud of that.

I don't want Sun just trying to talk things out to New Moon. I want him to take action, and blast New Moon just like he did it with Bloodmoon v1. But this time, Sun's action is not because of his uncontrollable rage, but because he is finally done.

I want Sun to hurt New Moon, and kill a little bit of himself because of that. I want Sun to feel hollow, the type of hollow when you have already drained all of your emotions, when you just realized none of this matters, and it would not be like the first time when Sun accidentally killed Moon, that he feels like everything is his fault and he has to stone by doing something.

No, i want Sun to cry, but still looking hard into New Moon's eyes, and tell New Moon that, no, Sun is not going to kill him, and New Moon doesn't deserve to get off the hook that easily. I want Sun to drag New Moon back to his family by chain and screaming, to force him to say sorry with every person he has hurt. I want Sun to Lock him up again, but this time, they are in it together, because that is exactly what New Moon did for him.

I want Sun to grow cold enough to realize he can do what he wants to keep his family in one piece. I want him to get the chance and courage to choose, and not fill himself with anxiety while doing it.

I want this to be the endgame, Sun vs New Moon, and I want after Sun capture New Moon and beat the hell out of him, they will slowly become brothers again.

Because that is love. That is the meaning of family. You can never abandon them, not even when you try to do so.

Lunar disowned Eclipse, but still he finds comfy in Solar, and slowly has a stable but awkward relationship with Eclipse. Sun and Moon hated Creator so much, and the same goes with Creator, he just thought of them as a failure and subjects, but, Sun still calls Creator as father, and Creator wants Sun's cat to call him grandpa.

You have changed, but I have changed too.

I know I should let you go, but you still keep a piece of my heart.

So by the end of the fate's string, hands in hands, I'm still gonna drag you down.

We will live in hellhole together, whether you like it or not, until you realise how damaged you have been and say the word I need.

Knowing how I would never could let you go, I can't help but hate you and myself because of that.

After times and times, I slowly realize, I love New Moon. I love that he is so nice at first, and slowly gone crazy, all because of himself. Strangely, I love the concept of him, more than the Old Moon. Wonder why...

Because of that, after New Moon to get his head out of his ass, maybe a very long time and I hope he would not get killed or become permanently enemies like Eclipse, he would realize how screwed he did to Sun and his family, and make up for that hard.

Or at least talk with them again and they become family.

[samble-moved]

i hate the fandom idea that homura's actions (especially during rebellion) are out of a place of total selfishness, or homura just "not letting go" or because she's evil.

did everyone forget that madoka, while dying, begged homura to keep looping to make sure madoka didn't become a magical girl? homura had already seemingly looped several times before, and madoka all but asked her to keep going to save her from her fate. albeit, madoka was likely not thinking clearly about this, and obviously wasn't asking to be cruel or to "hurt" homura by continuing the cycle, but the idea that "homura only loops because she's selfish and evil and wants madoka to stay human because she's selfish and evil" is literally not true at all in canon. madoka asks homura to make sure she (madoka) doesn't contract, and all but asks her to loop again and again until that happens. obviously this is something homura wants to do (since human madoka = safe from the fate worse than death magical girls get), but the concept that it's only homura's desire, that madoka never asked for this, is false canonically.

and the idea in rebellion that homura is intentionally acting against madoka's wants and "forcing" her to be human and seperate from the LoC ties into this as well. for one, homura 100% genuinely believes that madoka regrets her wish. madoka (while not having all her memories) says she could never do what she did as a goddess — that is, leave all her friends and family behind, erase herself from existence, etc. and after this, homura then 1) believes her, and 2) blames this perceived misery madoka felt as a goddess on herself (iirc, she says something like "if those are your true feelings, then what a terrible mistake i've made").

she blames herself for "letting" madoka contract, thinking madoka was miserable, thinking she once again committed a grave sin by "breaking her promise" to madoka by letting her contract. remember, the reason the looping seemed to continue on for so long in the first place is that madoka begged homura as she was dying to make sure she didn't contract. homura had been ready to die, along madoka's side. and madoka, as any fourteen year old would, wanted to keep it from happening again.

then rebellion kicks in, and homura (in her despairing state) thinks that not only 1) she has betrayed her promise to madoka by letting her contract in the first place, and 2) that madoka is horribly lonely and miserable after the contract/wish was granted. she 100% whole heartedly believes this, and also believes the only way she can fulfill the promise and protect madoka from kyubey is to rip her from goddesshood.

kyubey openly said in rebellion the whole reason homura is in the isolation field is because he's using her to get to madoka. he can't prove the LoC exists, only homura knows who madoka is, so they can eventually control madoka/the LoC by having her save homura. homura is put in a spot where she can't really even let madoka save her, because that gives kyubey access to seeing madoka, which can lead to him controlling her. and even if he doesn't get madoka that time, there's always a chance he could try this isolation field trick with any other magical girl, possibly even another one of madoka's friends, since the LoC wouldn't just willingly ignore a magical girl despairing. and he has all the time in the world to work on getting control of the LoC/madoka (an incomprehensible amount of it), provided entropy doesn't accelerate, and his species is both determined and much more advanced than humans.

homura doesn't do it because she's bored or evil or For Fun or because she's a "yandere" or whatever the hell else some people claim. she unequivocally thinks it's what madoka wants, and that it's the only way she can keep madoka from being controlled and hurt by kyubey, once again echoing back to the promise made in an earlier timeline ("can you go back in time and make sure i don't get tricked by kyubey?").

[nardos-primetime]

RANDOM WRITING BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP.

"You gonna throw us away too?"

Tw//Mentions of child neglect/abuse, overall bad times all around, angst hours, Leo has a bit of a melt down

(Damn the Draxum's Side ideas go crazy in my brain I don't even know if this Canon or not yet I just wanted to cook. Aka this is barely proofread and I haven't slept we run on willpower alone.)

Leo hates the concept.

After all the work they've done, accepting Draxum, Baron-fucking-Draxum into their family, they learn about this. This... bullshit. That's all he can really call it after all, bullshit.

"And you didn't tell any of us?" Splinter asks.

"Drax, we said no secrets!" He can hear his younger brother's voice crack, choking on his words.

"...I had forgotten. It was not my intention and by the time I'd remembered I didn't want to—"

"To what?" Donnie pipes up from his right side. "You break any established law of yokai morals once again, and given the chance to fix things, you lie, and you hurt people? Real great work on your redemption, Buddy, ten-out-of-ten."

"Donnie—" Raph reaches out to calm the other

Leo stops his hand, raising his head to glare at this poor excuse of a family member he foolishly, so fucking foolishly let in. "You threw them away."

"It..."

He looks around the room. Playing stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. That's all any of this was, it was just Draxum playing stupid to get an easy way back in. He could've reformed himself just fine on his own if he really meant it, but no. No. He had to use Leo's little brother to carry himself right to the manhole of their warm fucking family with NONE of the struggle involved.

"—it was my intention, yes."

"Oh my God, Draxum," Mikey drops the familial remark they normally use as his arms slump.

"How old were they. And you threw them away."

"They... physically... they had just gotten towards the ending of their toddler years... it... it was some months ago, you will have to forgive me..."

"So you forced them to grow faster with mystics?!" Donnie blurts, Draxum tries to speak again. "No, I don't CARE! I don't care if you know more about it. Do you know how that looks?! You know we know they wanted you arrested for your experiments, WHY would we trust you to say it was healthy!"

"You gonna throw us away too?" Leonardo crosses his arms.

"Of... of course not, you're like sons to me! I... I've appreciated all you've done despite my... former actions, and I—"

Splinter turns to him and shakes his head. "Do not speak," he whispers as he looks at Leo. It makes his skin crawl to see that pity in his father's eyes.

"Fuck you. Fuck you. I heard them, they called you dad! You're a piece of shit, they NEEDED YOU!"

He walked into their lives with none of the fucking struggle and has the fucking gall to act like he's sorry. Like he knows. Like he had a father who fell into disrepair when he needed him. One that broke down and left to snore while you and your brothers took care of each other.

His face scrunches up, and his chest hurts. "You two fucking deserve each other."

"Leo, Leo, no—" Mikey wipes his own face.

"You two are the perfect duo!" He laughs, for some god forsaken reason he laughs. "One didn't care enough to help his kids train for basic life and the other seems to have fucked up so bad his kids want him DEAD!"

"Leo, no! Dad's sorry, we know he's sorry, he loves us!"

Why's Mikey defending Splinter? Why's he of all people defending Splinter?! He was the youngest! He needed him the most when dear old dad became too tired to cook or play or get clothes or do anything. Mikey was at the most risk!

He... he was too young, that's it! That had to be it because that's the only way any of it made sense. "You don't remember shit, Mike."

Silence.

The guilt tries to ping up from his stomach and his lungs, squeezing his organs just enough to make him feel nauseous as soon as the words leave his mouth. It just makes him angrier. He doesn't know why, but he's angry. He's so angry.

Things were finally coming back.

They finally had a functioning unit! And Draxum had to—

"Leo, you need to apologize."

Who said that? He can't tell, and you know what? He doesn't care. There, he said it! He doesn't fucking care for once! Leonardo Hamato DOESN'T FUCKING CARE BECAUSE NOBODY CARES-CARE-CARED -WHATEVER ABOUT him.

"I don't need to do anything you guys say. Y-you're just making shit up at this point!" He cares.

"Leo, calm down."

He cares because it's not fair.

There's a hand on his shoulder and it feels gross. Irrational. There's a part of him that knows this is all so Irrational as he shoves it away and throws himself back.

He cares because sometimes he wondered if Draxum would've been attentive. If Draxum would've filled that void in their family. If maybe he'd reached out to Draxum's offer, he would've been valued.

"Leo!—"

But he's gonna do everything again.

"Get away from me."

And only Leo can see that.

"L-Leo?"

He scrambles to get up as he tries to grab the handle of one of his blades. "Get away from me."

Stupid voice cracks.

It's so stuffy in here. His stomach hurts and memory after memory is hitting him far too quickly for him to process. He thought it got better, he thought it was all better now. He thought it getting better was enough he, thought he didn't have to bring anything up and it would all go away he thought he thought he thought.

Since when the fuck does his thinking ever result of anything good, anyways?

He stumbles onto his feet and holds the blade out.

There's voices behind him, he can't differentiate them and frankly he doesn't fucking want to! He kind of wants to feel bad for once. That's so gross, he's so selfish. What a baby. Why's he so beholden to his emotions? They don't even make sense! If he leaves he'll get all numb again. He won't have anything to give him a sense of purpose but God he's going to throw up if he stays here.

He thinks of anywhere but here. Anywhere but here in this hellhole he fucking loves so much because it's his home and it's all he's really known. He thinks about anywhere but his family, the man who tried until he totally suddenly "couldn't", his brothers who fucking hate him and they should why wouldn't they he's having a hypocritical meltdown like a baby over shit that happened years ago that nobody else cares about!

And the man he finally called dad yesterday.

Anywhere. But. Here.

He hears one last thing as he throws himself into the warm light of the portal.

"We love you."

For a second, he forgets to tell himself not to look back, but it's alright. He can't see anything through his tears anyways.

[alchemicaladarna]

Just to clarify, I am obviously talking about the characters and the QSMP as a story. I am simply an avid viewer that had too much coffee and time on their hands so I basically wrote an essay. What is it about? I have no idea. So, read it if you want, but beware that nothing at the end of this should make sense.

In my opinion, morally ambigious characters are interesting, but UNPREDICTABLE morally ambigious characters are even more fun to analyze because they take more risks and play more dangerous games. If a character was labeled as a "hero" and played on the "good" side they are guaranteed a safe spot within the group. Regardless of whether they kill or hurt others, they are on the good side because they are fighting against the corporation that is keeping them and their friends trapped in a place that is a nightmarish paradise. If they had done actions that worked against the islanders' favor, by, for example nearly getting everyone killed by explosives at a party they are justifiably labelled a villian. But what if a character played in the middle? What if they were neutral? What if they simply wanted to let things play out- sticking to the sidelines and only becoming involved when the situation benifits their entertainment?

So, pardon me for the long intro, but here's the gist folks: q!Foolish arrested q!Pac e q!Mike and unknowingly put them through loads of emotional trauma that I don't think they'll be recovering from any time soon, for fun. To a person with a normal moral compass, that's obviously fucked up.

"Friends don't send friends to prison."

In q!Foolish's perspective, he REALLY didn't think the consequences of his actions through, but he wouldn't have arrested q!Pac e q!Mike for no reason. Mr. Mustard is missing and the Federation told q!Foolish that q!Pac e q!Mike were responsible for his disappearance. At this point, I think enough time has passed that we the audience know q!Foolish is being manipulated by the Federation. Even Foolish himself knows he's being manipulated by them, yet he still partakes in this precarious game because it's simply more entertaining than just sitting on the good side and letting things play out.

Q!Foolish has never actively gone out of his way to hurt people on purpose. Does he lack some emotional maturity and the appropriate response to some situations? Yes he does; but he doesn't have malicious intentions. He's there to have fun. Where others see a dire situation- at the mercy of the inescapable claws of a malevolent corporate entity, q!Foolish sees fun and exciting opportunities. The others might not want to admit it, but aside from the tragedies and kidnappings that have occured on the island, this nightmarish paradise has provided the characters with more excitement and enjoyment, than what is worth.

But, not everyone understands q!Foolish's perspective, and that's good! That's ok! But what I'm perplexed about is their constant unjust treatment of him- the exclusion, threats, torture, many many pointless accusations disguised as interrogations, etc- simply because he did one task for the Federation. One task that affected the lives of two people, but in the end both parties communicated and forgave each other anyways. One task that required q!Foolish, and by extension, q!Jaiden to harmlessly investigate around q!Pac and q!Mike's base for a considerably long time before finding nothing that would incriminate the duo. Throughout q!Foolish's endeavour, working with the Federation cost him most of his friends' trust and gave him no benifits, but he still reluctantly chooses to carry out another task because it's entertaining. But like q!Foolish said to q!Cellbit the other day, he may be stupid, but he's certainly not an idiot, and he has limits. A lot of people, specifically q!Max don't seem to understand the concept of a neutral party. If you work for the Federation, you are a villain- and honestly, that's a fair assumption considering their reputation. But what about people like q!Jaiden? Q!Jaiden, one of the kindest people on the island, who is compassionate to everyone, even Cucurucho, who is always perceived as a malicious entity?

What exactly defines a villain in this story? In my opinion, everyone on the island has a skewed sense of morality. Everyone except Elquackity knew of his first assasination and simply watched as he lost his first life, then celebrated when he lost the other with no regards to the repurcussions of their actions or how Elq felt about all this. And while we can justify their actions because Elq hurt people before, and either brainwashed or replaced q!Quackity, how do we justify their treatment of q!Foolish even after he communicated honestly to q!Pac e q!Mike and done nothing to deserve their maltreatment of him. Maybe I'm a bit impatient, but at this point, q!Foolish's arrest, has had the same value and impact as q!Bad giving people the survey for the Federation; I'm even more willing to believe that q!Cellbit's accidental "employee of the month" investigations benifitted the Federation more than whatever measly and repititive tasks they're giving out to q!Foolish.

So, what warrants all this hate and injustice towards q!Foolish then if he's not harming anyone? Why is he the punching bag? Why is he the butt if the joke Every Single Time? What warranted all the cruel jokes and malicious beatings after the Nether event? Is it because they know he won't exact revenge upon them? Is it because, in their eyes, they only value him as a court jester and nothing more? Q!Foolish even said the Nether, an obsolete dimension of fire and brimstone, offered more compassion and comfort than a world where the sun shone and the air was less polluted because the inhabitants, his "friends" treated him with more malevolence than literal souless monsters from hell itself.

Think about q!Jaiden- a person whose compassion broke through Cucurucho's souless programming and gave it a home, a sense of safety, and relaxation. Jaiden works (and apparently worked???) with the Federation, yet she has more kindness within her than an entire group of people, on the "good" side, fighting against evil.

The truth is, there is no bad side among the islanders. The admins (meta) wrote the Federation (and codes?) as entities that the collective group should be against- a common enemy. But once you "ally" yourself with the Federation and do tasks for them does that make you the common enemy as well, or do you need to commit more heinious acts to be considered a villain?

And what about the islanders? At what point do the rest of the players begin to consider a character on the wrong side of things? At what point do they begin to abandon compassion in favor of searching for the truth? How far will they go in pursuit of the truth?

In my opinion, there are no villains in the story because everyone is capable of becoming an antagonist in one way or another. Basically, EVERYONE is morally ambiqious because they have all been antagonists to each other at some point in the tale, and as the story keeps unfolding, who knows what could happen? A character might say they are a good person, but as the story changes, so do their values, their morals, their limits. How thin can someone's patience be before it inevitably snaps?

[dance-bones]

Insomnia

Merman!Risotto Nero×reader

Warning: The difference in height/first kiss or something like that

All the characters have come of age

Uh, sorry, I'm lazy person. So, I'll give you my old work, but it's may be good.

If you want any character, situation, au, let me know

Meow Meow something else.

A quiet, warm night enveloped the city. Waves washed over the walls built by people. Lampposts standing along the water illuminated a small part of its surface.

You walk in light, thin clothes, straight to the pier, although at this time of day, it would be better to be at home.

Your life is quite satisfactory. You have a family, friends, a job. In general, you are an ordinary person. So why do you want to go to the pier? The answer is simple. You have insomnia. You've tried many ways to fall asleep, but only one helps you. I have to go to the pier every time before going to bed to breathe in the sea air, listen to the beating of the waves on the wooden beams of the pier. In a word, to enjoy. And it helped. After 15-20 minutes of being on the pier, you were easily thrown into a dream.

And so, you're back on the pier. Walking to the edge, sitting down and dangling your legs, you begin to relax. After a hard day's work, it helps the best. From the noise of the waves, you inadvertently withdraw into yourself, which is actually a regular action. You often get lost in different thoughts and try to find some answers for yourself. And here again, you need to thank Pierce, because usually you don't have enough time to think.

It doesn't occur to you at such moments that you might be being watched. And not just from where, but actually from the water.

Your thoughts today were the legends of this city, or rather the main one - the mermaids. Yes, the residents of the city really claimed that there is a hybrid of a human and a marine inhabitant in the sea.

But they were fairy tales for you. In your unprofessional opinion, mermaids were a kind of way to scare children away from the water. That's right. No one wants their child to drown or get hurt in any way..

Your feet were hanging off the edge of the pier, almost touching the water, while you were deep in thought.

Suddenly, you feel something wrapping around your ankle. It was something cold, wet, and damn strong. You were sure of that. Quickly raising your head, you saw something unthinkable in front of you.

A rather large hand, compared to yours, holds your ankle in an almost death grip. If you look closely, you can see the webbing between your fingers. Your eyes widen when your head appears out of the water, and then a small part of your guest's very large body.

Or rather, you were the guest. After all, this creature was a mermaid, and the sea was his home.

You managed to look at it a little, fortunately there was a lantern nearby that illuminated at least some part of the pier.

A giant mermaid appeared before your eyes. From his fin on his back, his coloring, as well as the sharp teeth that you saw from his slightly open mouth, it became clear that he was a shark. His body was coming out of the water and it seemed to be huge, maybe 5-6 meters. And oh my God, what stood out most about him were the red eyes watching you through wet, ashen hair.

The shark man was looking at you, holding your ankle and smiling.

"Hi," he said, still looking at you. Something in his gaze hinted to you that he was evaluating you and maybe planning to eat you.

"Good evening, sir," you mumbled, trying to stay calm. You were a little scared that you might become the dinner of a giant fish.

The merman tilted his head at your feet, making you tense up. He was still holding your ankle.

- "Shh, don't be nervous, little one."- He whispered and jumped back.

Did he call you a little one? It was logical according to his concepts. The shark Man was bigger than you and he had every right to call you tiny compared to him.

- "Tell me, what is such a tiny human girl doing here at night, huh?"- his gaze slides over your body while he waits for an answer.

- "Oh, I have insomnia, and the noise of the sea and the sea air help to cope with it. That's why I come here before going to bed."

You're being honest with him, hoping he'll think it's a good answer.

- "Mmm, does such a sweet treat come to me by itself? How wonderful.." He's smiling, showing you his sharp teeth.

You're getting nervous. He's probably being honest with you about his desires, too. The mermaid rests on the part of the tail where, according to your assumption, people should have knees, and pulls himself up onto the pier. He quickly pulls you to him, laying you on your back. Your pupils constrict when he hunches over to lean towards you. Despite the cold of his body, his breath is hotter. You begin to breathe shallowly and raggedly while salt water drips from his body onto you.

Does he seem to notice this and start purring? Maybe the merman is trying to calm you down, just a little bit, but the realization that he wants to eat you makes it creepy.

- "Don't be afraid. I'm not going to eat you, little one. Definitely not in that sense..." He says the latter almost silently.

It makes you calm down a bit, but it's still not enough.

- "Then what do you want?"

His pupils are narrowing like a predator's, which is exactly what he is. He smiles at you again, leaning closer.

- "Just to get to know each other." He continues to make a low purr. He looks extremely curious and interested in you.

- "What's your name, little one?"- he gently releases your ankle and puts his big hand on your head, knowing that you are ready to move. He strokes the top of your head, enjoying the softness of your hair. With his other hand, he leans on the planks of the pier so as not to crush you.

- "Y/n, sir..."- you answer him with a little hesitation. All this makes you feel embarrassed.

- "Y/n..."- the mermaid repeats your name several times, memorizing it.

"What's your name, sir?"

He's looking at you, obviously happy that you're interested in him.

"I'm Risotto Nero, little Y/n." he chuckles, pleased with your new nickname.

He looks at you, running his hand from the top of your head to your cheek, making you tremble slightly. He leans closer, inhaling the scent of your body.

"Your skin is so soft, and your scent is just wonderful.." He leans even closer. He likes your helplessness.

- "Risotto Nero..."- you gain courage, trying not to shake from his cold touches to your skin."if that's all, can I go home?" It's time for me to go to bed..

He grins at you, seeing that you're a little afraid, but finally takes his hand away.

- "Of course, but first.." He licks your lips quickly before plopping back into the water and disappearing under the pier.

You get up quickly and run home, feeling the salty taste on your lips. This cartilaginous fish stole your first kiss! If I may say so.

Returning home, you quickly take a shower, washing off all the salt water that he managed to spill on you, and go to bed.

But one thing is bothering you. Is he interested in you? Oh, it seems more than just interested. You're sure he wanted to take you right on the pier. You once studied shark behavior out of curiosity. And his action with laying you on your shoulder blades is very similar to the process of a mating ritual, when the task of the male is to lay the female on her back.

You blush when you get under the covers. What is most frightening is that the male, during sexual intercourse, holds the male by the gills with his sharp teeth. The very thought that your neck will become a replacement for gills scares him and throws him into paint. It sounds both creepy and painful at the same time...It's hot.

And oh my God, this is the only pier in town, and your insomnia isn't going anywhere.

Which means...

You will have to return to the pier the next night at your own risk. You understand this, and it seems that Risotto Nero himself, who watched you run away, understands this too.

He'll be waiting for you tomorrow. He will definitely wait for you, and he will get his little one.

[candidsoup]

Zongzheng Huai'en and The Scorpion King

if I had to think of another character to sort of... compare Zongzheng Huai'en to, from another show I've watched...it occurred to me that he's a little bit like Xie Wang / the Scorpion King from Word of Honor (I can't speak to how he is in the book yet).

In both cases, a "not father" raises and grooms them from a young age to be a ruthless killer and work for them. There are certainly different factors in the Xie Wang / Zhao Jing relationship than with Huai'en and his "not dad." Zhao Jing plays at being kind sometimes in a manipulative way whereas ZZ Yuzhan is just openly evil and cruel all the time. And there are, other differences...

But in both cases, there is a REASON why the characters are ruthless killing machines and don't seem to have a concept for human relationships and love + care in like.... a typical way. That's just all they've known and been taught for most of/their whole life.

For Xie Wang, Zhao Jing is the person he loves, and when he is betrayed by him, he can't let him go - so ultimately he poisons him so he can never speak again, disabling him in such a way so that ZJ will always be under his control. To him, if the person he loves disappoints him, controlling that person is the only option. Not letting them go. Because he's been controlled for most of his life.

For Huai'en, he was controlled his ENTIRE life and basically shown NO tenderness + love even in a manipulative way, so he is, in some ways, even more extreme about it when someone finally shows him any love at all - Xiaobao. And due to this and his upbringing he doesn't really understand the uh, differences in certain actions - like (apparently) cheating on someone at a brothel vs. murdering and imprisoning people.

When Xiaobao disappoints Huai'en, he acts in a similar way to Xie Wang, taking actions that are supposed to get Xiaobao under his control, so he can't do the bad thing again. Like "I'll make it impossible for you to hurt me again, and it means I'll still have you, and no one else will."

The major difference here is that Xiaobao is, you know, not a horrible manipulative groomer like Zhao Jing. His love for Huai'en is genuine. I've had the thought, what if someone else showed The Scorpion King love, for real, not to manipulate him -- would he have turned out differently? (you can draw parallels w/ him and Wen Kexing on that note, too).

And that's the thing in MYATB - Huai'en actually has the opportunity to learn a love that isn't controlling, and to learn about why human relationships are valued for more than just having power over someone. He's already seen that if he tries to control someone he actually loves, it can go really really badly, and he already has regrets.

Zhao Jing didn't have such regrets with controlling Xie Wang bc he never actually cared about him, and the same with Zongzheng Yuzhan -- he won't regret treating Huai'en as he did because he sees him as an object.

[morethansky]

As promised, my thoughts on Tech's fate.

If you think they changed their minds about revealing Tech to be alive, you might not want to read this. I'm not trying to debate or dissuade anyone; this is just my personal take.

Also, please be forewarned that this is quite Hunter critical. I love to write the man, but god, he’s so bad for my blood pressure.

This is still such a hard thing for me to talk about. To be honest, I ducked out of the TBB fandom between the time when i finished “i keep what i can of you” and S3 started because it felt like I couldn’t say what I thought without either hurting the people who thought Tech was dead and were traumatized or inciting the wrath of those believed he was alive, some of whom got so haughty and/or oddly hostile whenever any other possibilities were stated in their vicinity. It seems that after I left, the opposite started happening too? The hellish fandom ouroboros.

Anyway, so here are my unfiltered thoughts, because I might explode if I don't write them down. After I watched “Plan 99,” I thought Tech was dead, and I was extremely traumatized and hysterical about it. I remember that night I couldn’t sleep, and I stayed up till morning trying to process the sense of betrayal I felt and figure out what to do with the sweet little WIP I had been working on, which was about Tech and Wrecker facing the concept of death for the first time. (I have now rewritten it to be much darker but for Tech to live, and as CX-2, so I hope that proves I mean well with this post.)

Because it’s me and it’s media, I was not only traumatized but also furious. To be frank, I’m not usually this deeply affected by character deaths. I have written a lot of major character death fics and grief/mourning is a component of like 60 percent of my writing. In fact, when character deaths are done well, I think they’re fantastic. The worthy, well-done ones can make the characters shine even more brightly.

That is not the case here. Tech dies for literally nothing. The protagonists don’t achieve anything at all from it besides returning to square one, less a member. They don’t find the coordinates to Tantiss. They don’t find anything about who Hemlock is or what the Advanced Science Division does. They don’t overhear any vital intel from the meeting with all the Imperial bigwigs. They don’t gain any insight from Saw. They don’t even find out whether Crosshair was actually in captivity and whether his saying Plan 88 was him laying a trap for them or not.

And that is some of the worst messaging I’ve ever seen in a Y-7 American action cartoon. And believe me, I’ve watched a lot of them.

Allow me to beat the dead horse one last time. Finally, after two entire seasons of the show, a member of the main cast is like, “Hey, remember how Crosshair used to be one of us? Even if he kind of sucks, shouldn’t we help him? He did just try to warn us.” And I was ECSTATIC. Didn’t expect the autistic character to be the one to be like, no, fuck you, we should do the right thing no matter the risk (autistic characters are so often morally gray and it’s so frustrating), but I loved it so much! That’s me!!

…And then he literally dies because he wanted to do the right thing. Hunter, the character who does not want to help people, who rejects the idea of going to Eriadu and has to be convinced otherwise, IS PROVEN CORRECT. What the ever-loving fuck is that messaging? That’s right, kids—if you selflessly try to help other people, you’ll be killed. So maybe don’t bother, actually. And this show just underlines that message over and over again! The only people who matter are those you consider family. Everyone else can rot. In fact, people who are willing to risk their lives to help people are foolish and idealistic. The things Hunter says to Echo are repeatedly so fucked up ("When will it be enough?" Dude wtf???), and it's nuts that the show doesn't offer Hunter's narrow-minded perspective as a contrast to Echo's determination to do the right thing—it offers Echo as a contrast to Hunter's motivations to retire (which we understand because when the two of them split up, we follow Hunter instead of Echo—and not even in addition to Echo! He only shows up again because he's visiting Hunter's story!).

That’s straight-up American conservative ideology. I will never not be pissed at them for making the fucking deuteragonist—and a clone character at that—like that. And in Star Wars! The franchise that is overwhelmingly and consistently about fighting fascists! Made by the company founded and based in the Bay Area, the most progressive region of the country!!!

To be frank, I almost turned the TV off right then. But I thought, okay…a horrible way to get to it, but…maybe now is the moment? Maybe now they’ll finally join Echo and Rex, and be super determined to find Tantiss and Crosshair and the many other clones whose designations were on the roster—to complete the mission that Tech so passionately insisted on before he sacrificed himself.

BUT NO! Hunter immediately pressures Omega into going to Pabu. And why wouldn’t he? The narrative proved him right! By trying to do the right thing, Tech died. So we’ll just go back to ignoring the suffering of countless beings across the galaxy, including our own kind. Millions of straight-up metaphorical versions of us. Cool.

And then Omega gets captured. So because Tech wants to do the right thing, he dies, and because Omega agrees with him, she gets taken away. And then suddenly Hunter puts away Pabu entirely and becomes super gung-ho about finding her. Which is just…why did they write him like this. Why did they even have the conversation about Pabu?? Leaving it out would have made Hunter's motivations flow so much better. Because by introducing that, they invite the crucial question: Why was that what it took for him to stop running but losing Crosshair and Tech didn’t??? Because he only cares about this one child's well-being and it's his single motivation as a character???

A contingent of Crosshair fans have seemed to vocally dislike Hunter from the start because he left Crosshair, and I’m like no, you don’t understand. It’s not about the character, it’s about the writing. In some cases, it does end up being the character rather than the writing, and you can usually tell because the writing condemns that in the character. Not here though! Hunter's decisions throughout the show are celebrated by it. And Hunter gets his way, as we see now with them retiring on Pabu and ignoring the fight even as "the Rebellion needs pilots now more than ever." Thank god the finale at least posited that Echo was also right, which is kind of like the bare minimum they could've done in that regard.

So Tech’s death hit me particularly hard because it felt like just a waste of two entire episodes, a waste of an enjoyable character they had just given some really poignant depth, and a waste of the chance to give Hunter the character development I was desperate for—and also like a betrayal, a slap in the face, because it was like the show was saying that heroes are stupid, that Tech was foolish for wanting to do the right thing. Which is nuts given the rest of the SW animated oeuvre. And is fucking hurtful. And bad for kids.

So when the theories about Tech’s survival started floating around that night, I thought, okay, yeah, maybe this was such a stupid death and waste of screen time because it’s to set up something really cool. I could get behind that, even if the entire setup would still be faulty and honestly kind of repulsive to me.

I engulfed everyone’s theories in those weeks I spent mourning, desperate to be convinced—but as much as I wanted to believe there was a plan at work, I just couldn’t buy it 100 percent because…would the people who wrote this awful arc, and who made all the oddest choices possible at any given time throughout both seasons thus far, really intend to set up and execute something so well thought out and complex?

Of course not. People kept being like, “We have to trust the writers. They have a grand plan. They wouldn’t just throw away Tech. It would be ableist, and that’s why he’s not dead.” Like??? The show was already ableist! One of the main characters is disabled and his being disabled is specifically relevant to why he’s even in this squad and in this show—and it’s never remotely discussed! The closest is the most oblique reference ever to how Echo doesn't like to be alone. That's it. Just because they actually managed to write this wonderful moment about Tech being autistic doesn’t mean their track record was suddenly irrelevant! Killing off their neurodivergent character is exactly the kind of ableist shit they would do! And see now: Crosshair's hand. Also Echo suddenly having a hand after not having one for so long and it being completely untouched upon. It's par for the course!

So the Tech Lives theories all hinged on the writing being really clever, but I just. Already hated so much of the writing, and it felt way more likely that they were just continuing to be bad writers and continuing to go with the poorer plot choice option every single time they had the opportunity to go a direction that would be thought provoking and emotionally affecting.

I felt very much and very sadly proven right when the season started, and we got no mention of Tech being dead until the FIFTH episode. The Batch never talked about Crosshair and why he tried to kill them, so I guess why would they talk about Tech dying, sigh. And it was so bizarre how people were arguing that Omega and Crosshair's little exchange about Tech was super touching and gave us everything we needed. It absolutely did not! The fact that we couldn't agree on whether Crosshair even knew tells you everything you need to know about the wacky writing choices! Why was it so vague?? They literally could have added one word:

Crosshair: Did they teach you plan 72? Omega: Mm-hmm. Tech had me memorize all the plans, before... Crosshair: Of course he did.

On that note, I began to feel uneasy about the fandom again, because it started feeling like an echo chamber, and I was worried everyone was getting too hyped about something that might not happen, and even if it did, might end up being some kind of poorly done fanservice. I started seeing a lot of defensive posts being like, “Well, the reason they’re not mentioning Tech is because he’s not dead, and you’re an idiot, unlike me, if you’re falling for their sneaky tricks.”

Like??? The prevalence of ride-or-die sentiments like that started making me feel like I was losing my grip on reality and watching a completely different show from everyone else. Wouldn’t the dramatic effect of Tech being alive be strengthened by the characters all mourning him, thus making us mourn him, thus making the plot twist that he’s alive even more effective?? Wouldn't the characters being shown to be affected by his death instead of just ignoring it be the most promising sign of his impending return?

To me, the characters not mourning Tech meant that the writers had put him aside and moved on (which is, again, terrible writing because it doesn’t give the viewers the space to grieve and then move on, and it makes the characters feel terribly heartless, which, well. At least they were consistent). And that blasé moving on made the possibility of him being dead WAY more likely to me. Of course they would kill their neurodivergent character and then just all but pretend it didn't happen. Of course they would act as if he had just been a convenient plot device! Of course they would only bring him up and act like they missed him when he wasn't there to miraculously do the characters' work for them and the writers' work for them! Fuck that so hard.

So then “Infiltration” and “Extraction” were a big surprise! I was like, oh, huh, guess I was totally wrong and they’re really doing it, wow. Okay, let’s see if they can actually pull it off. I liked the writing a lot better this season, so it felt more plausible that they were finally getting down to business. The fact that the clues felt so heavy handed was kind of weird to me, and I complained a lot about there not being red herrings, but I love a good Came Back Wrong story, so I was willing to believe I had been too pessimistic and cynical, as I often am.

After “Bad Territory” and “The Harbinger,” however, I started doubting it again. Fitting both this M-count mystery that had already taken up so much screen time plus a Tech Lives mystery just felt like a lot of ground to cover, and this was the show that couldn’t even seem to fit more than five seconds of the main characters being sad about the death of their squad mate. Did they really have what it would take to pace it?

Of course not!!!

After “Point of No Return,” I started to feel like if they did bring Tech back, it would be at the cost of it being done poorly. And to me, for his purported death AND his resurrection to be badly written would be way worse than just the former. And the draw of the whole Winter Soldier deal is the fallout; the guilt and doubt the characters harbor; the way they have to reckon with the fact that even if their loved one is back, they will never be the same again, because they did die in a way—and the less time allotted after a reveal like that, the fewer of those key things there would be, which would just make it feel so tacked on for cheap shock value and social media chatter. Especially because there had been so little buildup to such a thing at the beginning of the season. These writers' abilities are just not remotely close to Ed Brubaker's, y'all.

Then Rampart being introduced afterward felt like the death knell (oop) because it was a new plot thread they would need to wrap up by the end. But the Clone X thread was still dangling, so I felt like it wasn’t out of the question. But I guess after my complaints about the Tech connections being too obvious and there needing to be more red herrings, it turned out that the Tech connections themselves were the red herrings.

Although I feel like that's probably even giving the writers too much credit. I don't know if I really believe they were trying to mislead us. I feel like they just clumsily ended up doing things that coincided with the Tech Lives theories. Like I honestly wouldn't be surprised if when they used "domicile" it was completely without realizing they had previously had Tech say it and that this would lead to the viewers drawing an erroneous conclusion. They probably just wanted CX-2 to say something fancy and mysterious tbh, and the same words tend to float in writers' minds. Rip us.

I guess now I understand what I could never work out—if CX-2 was Tech, then why did he so specifically use rifles like Crosshair does and so proficiently, i.e. specifically better than Crosshair did? Why wouldn't he dual wield hand blasters?

Also, although I was in some ways relieved that at least they didn't write a bad resurrection for Tech, and there's absolutely no way it wouldn't have been shit if it'd just been shoved anywhere in the last three episodes, all this is not to say the Clone X concept didn't end up being super hamfisted as well. Just the fact that there are other Clone X types with different weapons and uniforms makes the concept even more confusing. Clearly these guys were meant to mirror the Batch, but then why did all the ones we encountered before CX-2 wear the same uniform as him?? Did they sort the clones into categories of which Clone X they would be? It would actually be cool if the point was to sow fear in the galaxy because it would seem like the person in the CX-2 suit was undefeatable, especially because they were completely covered and their build would be the same every time. But that would be too cool and coherent for this show, sigh.

Also, was Hemlock project managing them, or was Scorch? Neither really makes sense, but who was sending them after Rex's rebel cell? Was there a military higher-up giving the Advanced Science Division that directive? Why did CX-2 and the one that Rex's cell captured hate Crosshair so much? Why the fuck did CX-2 cut off his hand???

Anyway. I could go on forever, but I think at the end of the day, we all read too much into it because we are just collectively better writers than the writers are tbh. Sadly, a classic fandom experience. I guess what ultimately saved me the most from heartbreak and allowed me to earnestly enjoy the finale was that I had already spent a year believing Tech had died and suffered through my grief (by, you guessed it, writing a grief/mourning fic), and I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was no way these writers could pull off something so emotional and complex. I swear I didn’t actually want to be right!

I think if nothing else, one thing we can all agree on is that Tech surviving could’ve been one kickass story, and it was a hell of a missed opportunity.