#but he does love his friends and isn't bothered by people being affectionate /

[cheeseceli]

Reassuring them

Pairing: Ot8 Skz × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: headcanons, fluff, reverse comfort (1.6k words)

Request: could you do something sweet where the members are insecure and reader is comforting and reassuring them?

Warnings: mentions of insecurities regarding body image, personality and the idol life; mentions of food in Changbin's.

A/n: because everyone deserves comfort!! Also, this pic of Han 😭😭 | help Gaza

When you reassure them by...

Bang Chan - simply looking at him

Chan never really liked his features, saying he would change most of his appearance given the opportunity. That's something that never really made sense to you. How could one dislike its appearance when it looked like that? He looked absolutely gorgeous in your point of view, and it pained you that he didn't see it.

Although you said thousands of compliments to him, that's not what made his perception of himself change. It helped, of course, but the most impactful thing you've ever done was to look at him. You looked at him the same all the time: lovestruck.

When he got all dressed up for a photoshoot, when he was sweating after practice, when he was with make up, when he just woke up... You would always look at him like he was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. At first he tried to hide himself from your gaze. He felt shy and unworthy of it in the beginning. But when it didn't work and you kept on admiring him all the same, he started to give in.

Now he likes the way you look at him. Although it still makes him shy, he hopes that you'll keep looking at him like that. And even though he's not totally there just yet, he's starting to see what you see whenever there's a mirror in front of him.

Lee Know - shutting down people's comments

Minho knows most people wouldn't describe him as the most affectionate person to ever exist. Most of the time he'd be okay with that. He needs his space and words of affirmation isn't his better love language. Nothing wrong with that, right?

But when people start to say that he's a bad boyfriend, he wonders how truthful those statements are. And he really wasn't supposed to eavesdrop, but when he hears your friends calling you to question your relationship, he can't help but feel defeated by hearing it. However, he doesn't miss how quick you are to shut down your friend's comments and list times where Minho made you feel loved.

And later on, when you see him, he notices how your eyes shine. There's still this voice on his head accusing him of not doing enough, but he also knows that you don't love him any less because of that.

Maybe, anytime now, he'll realise that he's already doing way more than enough in your eyes.

Changbin - caring for him

At some point in his life, Changbin convinced himself that he needed to be strong. He had to take all the weight of the world in his shoulders and he should do it smiling. That's one of the reasons why he usually keeps his problems to himself: he doesn't want to bother anyone.

But of course, this is not an easy task. Sometimes he fails to do so. And when he does, that's when he feels his world falling down all at once. He feels incapable, useless, nothing. And the words he repeats to himself get harsher every time. That is until you put a stop to it.

He never really allowed anyone to fully take care of him because that would go against his ideal of "I need to be the strongest". But you never asked for permission. You would just do it. And when he finds himself eating the food you cooked him, having his hair brushed by you and the tears being dried by your fingers, he feels like it's okay.

You make his weakness seem like a good thing, and if it keeps going like this, he might as well believe that it's not even a weakness at all.

Hyunjin - saying "I love you"

Every once in a while Hyunjin falls in this dilemma of receiving thousands of "I love you"s but not believing them in the slightest. Did these people on the internet, who have not seen him not once, loved him or the image of him? How much could he believe out of those confessions?

That made him wonder for nights if the real him, the one the internet didn't really know, was also worthy of love. And then he would feel himself falling on this rabbit hole where he was stuck. His questions started to become affirmations that would insist that no, he could never be truly loved.

You'd never hesitate on disagreeing with that though. Not when you knew him better than anyone, probably even more than himself, and still showed love in everything you would do. By the way you hugged him to how you'd text him goodnight every night. Your gifts and your acts. Everything screamed "I love you". Especially when you literally said those three words that Hyunjin desired more than anything.

Little by little Hyunjin felt that his own skin was also good and loveable. He started to glow because of that. That made even more people love him. This time though, he welcomed the affection with open arms. He felt like he deserved it this time.

Han - being there

Self doubt is a funny thing, Han thinks to himself. Once it appears in your life, it's extremely hard to get it out. And even though you know all of your insecurities aren't true, you still don't fully believe it. So when Han starts to think that he is insufferable, that all his friends hate him and that he deserves to be alone, it's hard to stop thinking that.

But then he sees you. And it's like the sun peeking from foggy weather: light at last. You're always there. In his happy moods, when he's sad, when he's screaming nonsense. It doesn't matter what is happening, you're always there. You're the affirmation that, no matter what happens, you'll be there. That he deserves to have someone by him.

He still finds himself distancing himself at times, when the insecurities speak louder. But your presence always reminds him of what's the truth. And sooner or later, the self doubt drowns a bit and he finds himself being more comfortable and confident. He allows himself to have people, to have you, in his life without the fear of abandonment.

Felix - endlessly complimenting him

Insecurities are nothing new to Felix. He has grown used to doubting himself and his actions constantly now. Add that to the infinite amount of hate he receives every day and it's easy to just drown in this endless cycle of self doubt and hatred.

However, he notices that he is now taking it easier with himself. The inner voices that could never stop complaining were slowly but surely stopping. They were being replaced with your sweet and soft spoken compliments.

It was almost second nature to you, he thinks. To just overflow with love and end up reassuring him with your words. He doesn't think you realise it, but it seems that you can always read his mind. You can always tell what he needs to hear. And you always say it as it's the most genuine thing you've ever said.

So when he stops listening to the hate and just hears your voice instead, he knows exactly how it happened. He also knows that, if it's up to you, your praises would be a thing that would follow him for the rest of his life.

Seungmin - taking pictures of him

Seungmin never really liked his smile, he doesn't even know why. It just never felt right for him. And as far as he can remember, he always did everything he could to hide his face whenever his lips would turn up. He thought he was doing it well.

However, he came to realise that he was horrible at hiding his smile. At least he was when it came to you. You had a lot of pictures, maybe up to a hundred, of him. Most of them were blurry and spontaneous. He didn't even know you were taking a picture of him for the majority of the time. Maybe that's why he never covered his smile in the photographs you had of him.

As your wallpaper, as a Polaroid, framed near your bed... There was always a picture where he was smiling carefree. And he looked beautiful in all of those.

You most likely didn't even realise how this little gesture of yours made him like his smile more and more, but you were glad when, after a few months, he stopped putting his hands in front of his mouth whenever a laugh erupted from his lips.

I.N - hyping him up

After living in such a competitive environment for years, Jeongin thinks he should be used to the music industry now. He can tolerate the overworking, he knows how to control the media, he loves his fans and job. Everything is fine. Still, there's always that one part of his mind saying he's incompetent at the job. Saying that becoming an idol was the wrong move.

These days he usually locks himself in the studio or in the dance room and refuses to get out of there until he feels like he deserves it, until he feels like he's good again. But then again, it feels like this time never comes.

That's when you have a vital role in his life. You're the living proof that he's actually doing a good job. And the funny thing is that you have never said it, not even once. But he still knows it. He knows when YouTube recommends you another fancam of him, because apparently you like his dancing and stage presence that much. He knows when you always applause him after a dancing session and when you playfully beg him to sing you a song, and the huge smile on your face when he finally does.

It's almost as if you are his biggest fan. At this point, you might be. And funnily enough, you are the "fan" that is motivating him to keep going. If he managed to make you like his work that much, he must be doing something right after all.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when your parents don't like them

Thank you for reading <3

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143

Credit for images 1 2 and 3

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto

[kleinv01]

💙 SFW ALPHABET : YAEL 💙

A = Affection ... Yael is very affectionate, and quite the romantic. however he needs time to feel comfortable in even showing them. especially when he's still unsure about how you feel about him (more so when there's no actual 'status' between you two)- he worries a little too much about this.

his big 3 love languages are gift gifting, quality time and acts of service. time is most valuable to him, and to believe that you're willing to spend time with him together makes him the happiest. he really just appreciates you being w him ^^

B = Best friend ... he's always the dad or mom friend in his group. he takes care of the others and is always there for his friends to help them out. though, he can be a little bit of a people pleaser sometimes. (cannonically, MC and yael started being friends because MC picked up one of his missing romance novel when they were still students lol)

C = Cuddles ... yael loves to cuddle. and would rather be the big spoon- for one reason, he likes feeling like he's protecting you in his arms. but if you prefer the other way- he would gladly oblige as well. he'd find your heartbeat calming. he's very gentle about it, always asking you in that familiar sheepish tone of his, whether it's okay to touch this or touch that

D = Domestic ... he's certified malewife duh /silly . he can cook, clean, very well. and if he's not good at something? he'll try to learn it for you, for his family's comfort

getting married with his loved one, living under the same roof and to raise children together is a dream come true for him

E = Ending ... no arguments, no raised voice, just a calm, mature conversation between you and him. if Yael were to break up with you, he must've had an extremely strong reason to do so. even then, it would be a very, very heavy thing for him to say.

F = Fiance(e) ... you have no idea how much yael LOVES being committed to the one he loves but also, he's not one to rush things. Yael likes to be able to decide things on his own pace. but of course, he'd love to be able to get married with his dearest!

G = Gentle ... he's always been gentle to the people around him. maybe even more so towards you.

H = Hugs ... he does! Yael would often ask for your permission first before hugging you. exceptions being- an excited Yael suddenly pulls you into his tight embrace. lasts for a few seconds or so before he pulls away, flustered, apologizing for doing so. his hug would feel warm and comforting, and you can always smell a faint scent of his perfume whenever he does it.

I = I love you ... it takes a while for him to say such things, as he considers it a really strong word to declare.

J = Jealousy ... Yael doesn't get jealous often. he puts trust in you and the relationship you have with him, although at the rare occasion of him getting actually jealous, he'll try to speak to you about it if it really becomes a bother for him, but most of the time, he'll deal with it himself. he knows jealousy isn't good.

K = Kisses ... very gentle yet shy kisses! Yael likes to kiss your knuckles, forehead, top of your head and cheek the most. he likes lip kisses as well, but it'd take him a little while for him to initiate it- not because he doesn't like it, he's just very nervous. ;; Yael himself likes to be kissed on the same spots.

L = Little ones ... he's good with children, even trusted by some parents in the daycare he works at to do some babysitting for their children. children likes him too!

M = Morning ... Yael wakes up early. (it's a habit lol he can't help it) if you're willing to join him, he'll go on a little jog with you, then cook you breakfast (or cook together) then eat with him <3 or he can also bring you breakfast in bed, jokingly bows down before you and say "today's breakfast, my princess/prince/your highness" then laughs at himself as his ears turns red from embarrassment LOL

N = Night ... Yael likes to read, so you'd often find him reading books before bed. sometimes he gets too caught up in it and stays up a bit later. but just bonk his head and he'll set the book aside to sleep with you. if you're willing to read with him, though, he'd melt on the spot

O = Open ... it might take him a lot of time to be able to do so. and would rather prefer reveal things slowly, at his own pace!

P = Patience ... it takes a lot to anger him. yael also doesn't like the feeling of being angry (if that makes sense). even if he's angry, he wouldn't raise his voice, and try not to let his anger get the best of him.

it had slipped a couple times before, of course, and he always feel bad right after. and apologizes. he rarely gets angry.

Q = Quizzes ... a lot! he's very attentive and thoughtful about you. he doesn't forget things often.

R = Remember ... first meeting, and when you two first started talking again after a bit of strain in the friendship. (assuming in this post you choose yael-focused route)

he's happy to be able to talk to you again...

S = Security ... yael trusts that you can protect yourself, but that doesn't stop himself from being protective of you. he shows it in little ways, checking up on you when he knows you're out late, or offering a ride home. when walking down the street together, Yael might insist on walking on the side closest to the road to shield you from traffic- so on.

T = Try ... lots, lots of effort. and preparation. and research, to make sure you'd enjoy yourself- and, most importantly, make you feel loved in each date with him. you're willing to spend your time with him, so in exchange, he wants to make it worth while

U = Ugly ... being a little too critical of himself. he always wants to do his best in everything, though sometimes it results in him worrying over it more than he likes to-

V = Vanity ... quite a bit. it's one of the reason why he maintains a diet and workout routine, although mainly for health reasons. also, yael often thinks about changing his hairstyle because he doesn't really like how it looks- but never get around to decide what style would suit him better.

W = Whole ... he would, but also, he would be able to understand. if you choose someone else over him- he'd at least still want to be your friend, just so he could keep supporting you whenever you'd need~

X = Xtra ... due to his fear of heights, he once teared up when riding a cable car with friends on a trip. he was eternally grateful that no one notices it. LOL

Y = Yuck ... he doesn't like food with strong taste, also strong scents!

Z = Zzz ... sleeping on his side, hugging a pillow... also, yael collects some animal plush. he keeps a rabbit one near him, a memory of his childhood. he also listens to music a lot, and would often fall asleep with his earphones still attached to his ears.

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Pls let Blitzø hold hands with people 🙏🥺 I don't just mean romantically or sexually but like platonically with his friends and fam too. Like as I've watched the show I've noticed that physical touch is very important to imps like they are constantly in each other's space, especially if they have partners. And I feel like Blitzø is so used to either sexual intimacy or it being a transactional thing that he has to earn. I think that soft, platonic physical touch would do him some good.

Let him hold hands and cuddle with Millie and Moxxie. Loona isn't much for physical touch but she does give her dad brief side hugs and gentle shoulder squeezes and she honestly isn't all that bothered by him giving her head pats. Blitzø and Fizz were childhood friends and before the fire they had almost no space between each other when they hung out. Now they are slowly starting to mend their friendship and they both realize how much they miss hugging each other. Ozzie is a very touchy person in general and has worked with both succubi and imps most of his existence so he doesn't mind Fizz and Blitzø's is closeness, he joins in actually. He'll scoop them both up in his arms and nuzzle his head against their's, cooing affectionately. Octavia like hugs too, though she will never admit it, and Blitzø will squeeze her warm and tight as if trying to convey the message that she is also very important to him and that he will keep her safe no matter what.

Like most imp couples Blitzø wraps his tail around Stolas is own, though of course bird tails can't move like imps do so the prince settles for wrapping his arm around Blitzø's waist. They give each other affectionate little nips and neck kisses, purring and cooing as they do. Blitzø nuzzles into the fluff of Stolas is chest feathers, while Stolas lazily running his hands over Blitzø's long horns, gently massaging his knuckles against the base. Stolas will cradle Blitzø's face, dainty fingers running over skin and scars, slow and soft, and kiss the top of his head and both his horns, chirping and hooting with all the love in his heart. Blitzø just likes to hold Stolas, limbs and tail fully wrapped around his owl, purring himself stupid as he nuzzles under Stolas is chin, completely relaxed knowing that his bird is safe and sound in his arms.

But yeah, anyways, give Blitzø platonic affection 2k24 👏👏👏

[cotton-could]

The depth of the Beetles brothers

My favourite sibling relationship in KND is definitely the Beetles brothers and I feel like they don't get the recognation they deserve, they're very adorable and is by far the most healthy sibling relationship but it does have some interesting aspects. Lemme break it down:

🍼; Wally had to step in to parent Joey

I find it interesting how the normally irresponsable Wally is suddenly the most responsible boy when his brother is concerned, almost like he's fulfilling the role his parents failed to fulfill. Wally's parents are oblivious at best and painfully irresponsible as seen in the D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L episode, where both parents doesn't even react to a grown and elderly wizard attacking their baby, they don't even get mad at him. I know it's "haha adults are being dumb and useless 😂" but this doesn't paint them in a good light since Joey needs someomeone to rely on and clearly he can't rely on his parents (I'll talk about it later), Wally on the other hand, he protects him, scolds him, looks after him and raise him, despite being the eldest brother, he acts more like a stern but loving father than a brother. The guy went berserk when he thought his baby brother was hurt, a clear contrast to their parents' reactions when Joey was in real danger. Wally became the "adult" Joey needed at such a young age...

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🧸; Wally is Joey's comfort and safe source

What I find most endearing in their relationship is that Wally of all people is Joey's source of comfort. He knows how to take care of himself as seen in D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L but this trait is apparently forgotten because in S.A.F.E.T.Y he doesn't use his dodgeball skills but actually, the trait wasn't forgotten, it's because he feels safe and protected with Wally. Remember his brother was knocked out when he was fighting against the wizard while his parents did nothing but in S.A.F.E.T.Y he didn't even tried to crawl away from danger, he's either paralyzed or searching/waiting for his brother but after seeing his older brother, he's cheerful and smiling again.

So when his source of comfort is shattered (when Wally gets mad at him), he just crawls away from him while crying and refuses to hear his apology. And this is despite the fact that Joey has seen his mom get mad (who's scarier than his brother when angered) at Wally and didn't cried. And this makes sense because his mom isn't his source of comfort like Wally.

Joey probably considers Wally his best friend, as he's always there for him when he needs it and gets to be vulnerable.

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🍬; Their parents' irresponsability are what makes their bond strong

Similar to the previous point but now more focused on the parents. They're trying, their dad works 2-3 jobs and the mom is a housewife but.... they're very irresponsable. They let a baby fight a wizard (I know they were tied but they didn't even tried to break free or telling the wizard to back off) and let a baby wander around all alone without bothering to look after him. It's one thing to be busy and to try but it's another to leave a baby who's at oldest a year old, see his brother without thinking of the possibilities he might get run over, kidnapped, get lost, crushed, etc... Yes, he knows how to defend himself but he's still a naïve baby, this would make Joey finding safety in Wally more understandable.

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🥧; He brings the best side in Wally

It's undeniable Wally is a good person but he always does his hardest to keep his sweeter side hidden, even with Kuki, so when it comes to apologizing.... He pretty much needs to go through painful experiences or get his pride in shambles to do it but with Joey it's a different case. He's not only openly affectionate with him (when he always avoid to do it with his friends and sometimes acts disgusted when he receives affection) but he genuinely apologizes to Joey in front of his friend/ally and the villain, he shows vulnerability in an environment he knows his pride would be destroyed and taken advantage by the villain of the episode but he doesn't care because his brother comes first. He calls Hoagie out when he asked Joey to dance, whispering him he's doing it because he wanted to be nice. Wally is not the nicest kid and it speaks volume of how much he cares about his brother's feelings when he wants to show his softer side.

And let's not forget how he spent the whole episode using his own body as a shield for Joey, not caring about the competition he's been trying to win because his baby brother is hurt, etc... When Joey is in the picture, Wally drops all his foolishness and becomes serious and responsable.

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🍟; Wally's parental role is taking a toll on him

It wasn't really focused on the show but from what we saw, it can be assumed he's also playing a fatherly role to Joey but... in the scenes he was shown crying, he takes it a bit too far, he's reacting how Joey should be (the cut was fake but still) and has a meltdown after destroying the robot because his brother is hurt but he reacts more like he failed Joey.

And I get him, because in the whole episode he was a jerk to him, made him cry, Joey didn't really accepted his apology, he indirectly caused Joey's "cut" and is bleeding. None of it were positive interactions at all and it kept getting worse, even if he protects him, it feels like it's not enough. If it weren't for Hoagie, Wally wouldn't even forgive himself at all and would think he's a failure of a brother because he couldn't prevent his little brother from getting hurt.

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🧃; Wally's hidden jealousy

This one isn't that big of a story but it's still interesting. While he has a positive relationship with Joey, it's implied he's jealous of him and we can see that in S.A.F.E.T.Y when Joey unintentionally stole the spotlight from him, telling him to go home and eventually snaps at him.

And in D.O.D.G.E.BA.L.L he might be secretly in denial about not really defeating the wizard but Joey. When Hoagie tries to inform him, he immediately refuses to hear him because deep down he knows Joey did it.

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🍭; In spite of this, Joey does admire Wally and is his hero

In a blink-or-miss moment, Wally does his silly dance before preparing himself and in the next few scenes, Joey is seen the make the same dumb dance as Wally for the whole episode (which Wally is completely unaware of).

Joey's reason to be here in the first place is because he wanted to see his brother in action and to root for him. He does have/mimick some of Wally's habits such as being a great fighter, being aggressive to enemies he can take down, being bored of his dad's stories and the silly dance.

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🍊; Wally is actually the father figure Joey needed

They may bicker and stuff but it's clear they love each other. With their parents being irresponsable and Joey not having an adult to rely on, Wally is the closest thing he has to a father figure. He's not the perfect one because of his anger issues but considering his age, it's justified but despite that, Wally is a good influence and presence in Joey's life. Wally takes great care of him and is always gentle when handling him even when he's mad at him (like carefully putting him on the floor instead of dropping him on the floor). Yes, Wally can be very harsh on him but it was mostly out of love, anger and concern (he could've been more tactful about it but his anger was understandable). And Wally has more emotional responsability than most adults in KND as he apologizes to Joey and makes up for his harsh behavior with hugs protecting him from danger. And his actions are what made Joey forgive him, he rejected his apology but after seeing how Wally will put himself at risk so he can be safe was what made him realize that Wally does care about him even when he gets mad at him.

It can be unfair for Wally to fulfill such a heavy role at such a young age but it's clear he doesn't regret it and knows no one else would look after him. He never took it out on Joey and this shows the maturity Wally has.

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Hope you guys liked my post about them, those 2 makes me so ill, I love those sillies so much! If anybody makes content of them or Joey content, please tag me, I'm a huge Beetles Brothers and Joey enjoyer.

[acourtofthought]

Elucien's don't cling to the Elucien bond for the sole reason that they share a bond.

We cling to the bond because Lucien:

Was willing to risk traveling to the Night Court without magic to ensure she wasn't being harmed.

Has never entertained the thought of being intimate with another female since his bond snapped into place

Is sacrificing his own happiness to give Elain the space and freedom to deal with her traumas as she sees fit, including returning to her fiance.

Befriended Elain's father, a man who was extremely important to Elain.

Was completely devastated at seeing the state Elain was in at the House of Wind.

Went out of his way to think of things that might help her even when her sisters blocked their interactions.

Still has eyes for only her two years after their bond snapped even though she's not ready.

Has sunshine in his veins when Elain said she needs sunshine.

Is not a violent male when we know cruelty bothers Elain.

Was willing to accept the blame she placed on him for her wedding not working out even though it wasn't his fault.

Controls his instincts and leaves Graysen unharmed because he knows eliminating threats to his bond is not the right thing to do.

Because both Elain and Lucien love nature.

Because they're both really good at talking to people.

Because they both enjoy parties.

Because they are both very affectionate towards their loved ones.

Because they both understand what it is to be underestimated by friends and family.

The bond is just an added bonus between these two and while someone shouldn't blame readers for believing the author wasn't going to screw over two main characters by having them suffer a poorly matched bond that will always follow them, the bond isn't the reason Elucien has been written as having endgame perfection.

In ACOWAR, Graysen was Elain's choice but he wasn't right for her as he was unwilling to accept who she had become. She spent months mourning his rejection.

In ACOSF, Az seemed to be Elain's choice of hookup but he wasn't right for her as he did not believe her capable of handling the darkness of the Trove, gave her no credit for any of the brave moments she had during the war and he hadn't thought of how to be with her beyond the sexual fantasies he pleasured himself to. Elain returned his gift and we have zero evidence she mourned him.

Choices change as we grow and thinking Elain's choice, at 24/25 years old ends with Az is stunting her characters growth.

We don't want with her with Lucien because of the bond. We want her with Lucien because he remains the only male who has tried to do right by her time and again even though she hasn't been ready to address their bond.

Lucien is getting nothing out of being the good guy but he does it anyway.

Who wouldn't want someone like that for a FMC some of us love and when the author has also told us nothing compares to a well matched bond the question should be who could want anything else for her?

[audaciousacolyte]

hello!! just recently found your acc and holy shit can i say that ur writing is SO GOOD DUDE every post u make is such a banger RAHHH!!!! Sorry if I'm coming on too strong btw, it's very late and i am not eepy at all </33

anyways! i was wondering if youd write a knuckles x reader where theyve been best friends since they were kids, and knuckles found out hes been crushing on them? i love the silly red man he needs all the love frfr. Thank you!!

Red dead heartbeat

Knuckles the echidna x Childhood Friend! Reader

AN: 《|| Hello Duckie! (Do you mind if I call you Duckie?) I'm so glad that you enjoy my writing, it makes me really happy to see that I have a few fans at least... you're not coming on too strong at all! It's pretty sweet actually! In any case, please enjoy this for now. ||》

FLUFF (pre realization)

◇| Knuckles, as the last of his kind, is a deeply lonely guy, so you'll have to forgive him for being distant with you when y'all first meet. Most likely, he's been on his own practically his whole life. . .

◇| he. . .he's gonna need a moment or two to adjust to having people around all the time, but he'll be fine.

◇| Depending on the kind of relationship the two of you have, he may try to herd you away from villans (COUGH COUGH EGGMAN COUGH) and may attempt to pull you out of/away from the action.

◇♡|| He means well, he does, but he's still incredibly nervous about loosing more friends. . . About losing you.

◇| If it really bothers you, he'll stop, but he's a massive worrywart about the whole thing. Anytime you get hurt, he's on you like a leech! Even if it's a minor scrape, hes still going to patch you up. . .then pound the guy who hurt you six feet under.(I am a firm believer in "motherhen" knuckles, and I will DIE on this hill)

◇| on a completely random note, he SUCKS at verbal comfort. Just, the WORST.He does, however, give the best hugs out of Team Sonic so. . . You win some, you lose some IG /jk

◇| I will be honest though, you ARE going have to help him with social cues sometimes. A life of isolation doesn't exactly make a guy the best conversationalist, you know.

(Post-realization)

◇| He wasn't even aware of his crush until Sonic pointed out that he seemed more relaxed around you. It. . . only takes a little bit of hard thinking for him figure out why.

♡| He's blown away by the thought that he- well, that he might like you a bit MORE than he previously thought, but at the same time he isn't all that surprised. I mean. . . It's you! Why wouldn't he be infatuated with you?

♡|Actually acts pretty normal for the most part, if a bit more affectionate.

♡| If when he confesses, he's gonna make it as romantic as he can. Maybe a moonlit stroll? Or some kind of picnic? (He's still torn on whether or not he should take you to the beach and confess tbh) but however he goes about it, he'll be a bit awkward but sincere

♡| Genuinely thrilled when y'all start dating, you have no idea! He's the best boyfriend you could ask for! <3<3<3

[z0-ne]

Fish eyes (!PLATONIC! UNCLE ILLUMI X CHILD READER + FATHER KILLUA)

This story is based off the illumi portion of THIS scenario! I know a lot of ppl like to think in the future he'd be better and suddenly understands what he did was wrong but like- what if he doesn't???

!warning!~ This story includes, stalking, kidnapping, hurt no comfort, child abuse and some gore.

READ WITH CAUTION!~ illumi is NOT a good person in this story.

Being one of the children of one of the greatest accomplishments in the zoldyck family is a blessing on one hand.

Your father doesn't follow in his own father's footsteps, something you are grateful for, your mother the same. Both assasins within their own right have taken another path with children of their own.

They're loving parents, well, as loving as they can be with the emotional damage they've received, specifically your mother. She's sweet in her own way, but if you had to pick between who was more playful and affectionate it would be your father for sure..

You always assumed it was because she's paranoid, of who? You have no idea, but you do overhear your parents conversate over someone you can only assume to be a bother to them. Sometimes your Uncle Gon would visit as well and be included in the conversation after dark.

Its ominous, you've never heard everything they said, because you would always end up having to sneak out before they mention a name, but you do know that there may be more than one person.

Its nothing to worry too much about right now though, you're still young, and you have two of the strongest people yet as your parents, not to mention your auntie alluka who tries to keep tabs on you all at all times, and your uncle Gon just in case you get lost.

Of course that is if you ever make it outside the mansion grounds, but you never travel that far. As the second youngest of six siblings, you have a lot of people on your back, watching you and making sure you don't wonder too far off.

It makes you wonder what's beyond that, why security suddenly got so strict, then again right now you're only seven, maybe it'll loosen up a bit as you get older, but it is odd. Your oldest sister said things didn't use to be like this.

You tried asking why, first your father but he just told you 'you're too young right now, stay here were you're safe' and rubs his thumb over your forehead to brush off the question. Then your mother, but of course she basically does the same, saying it's best to stay here. Even auntie alluka seems hesitant to tell you much of anything.

Uncle Gon is out of the question, he tells you about all the big creepy monsters out there, some are gross, like the evil giant bugs that roam around, or some gross snail person that leaves a trail of slime that leads to nowhere. Uncle Gon is like reinforcement to make sure you don't get curious about wondering.

Sometimes it works, other times you think you can take those monsters head on. It makes you more curious about the world outside that your oldest sister and her friend travel freely.

You tried asking her about it, since she travels with a girl who trains under your uncle's wing. She's not his daughter but she looks and acts so much like him from what your father told you about them back when they were your sisters age.

Unfortunately, they just share a look of worry then mask it up with a smile and tell you that your far to young to know.

On one hand its a blessing being a child of one of the Zoldycks greatest accomplishments...on the other...it's a curse.

_______________________________

Asking those older didn't seem to work out well, and you were weighing your options on asking your second older sibling, he's usually outside, fiddling with a drone he built, to gaze at the world outside and scope out where he'll go next.

Ultimately you decided to approach him and ask the question. "Why isn't it safe outside the mansions security?" Its an innocent question overall, maybe switching it up a bit will get them to answer.

He glances at you from over his shoulder and grunts a response. "What did dad tell ya?" you furrowed your eyebrows in frustration. Him brushing you off like you're a bother doesn't help answer your question.

"Come ooon...tell me." You said, somewhat demanding but also putting in a hint of annoyance in there as well as you pull at his sleeve.

"No way! If dad already told ya then forget it, go play over there or somethin!" He says as he moves his sleeve away from you and points over to a tree a few steps away from you with a frustrated expression..

Glaring up at him you huff but shrug as you stuff your little hands in your pocket and go over to the tree he pointed you towards. 'Stupid brother...' you think to yourself as you kick a rock. Its frustrating not being told anything.

Then, as you kicked the rock again you noticed something...it's small but you see something odd in the corner of your eye a weird figure, black floating all around it, little specks of green and yellow...since it's so far you can't see much else so you ignore it.

Your focus is not being able to figure out what's really outside the mansion walls, you want to know.

__________________________

'A curious lil thing' is what your uncle gon would always say, maybe it was because you were curious. It was why you were running from your nanny to the front gate right now.

Both parents out, your oldest sister on a trip of sorts with her friend and your brother in his room somewhere.

You've thought about it many times and honestly, when you get to the gate...climbing it seems like the best option, and you throw your caution into the wind.

You know you can climb this even at your age you've climbed higher trees. So you hoist yourself up and look back to see how far behind your nanny is, and you hear her call out your name but her voice leaves an echo behind, you giggle and continue up the wall.

It doesn't take long for you to make your way completely over and you take a look around, its...more forest? No worries, you keep running, curious about what lies ahead of those trees.

"(NAME) please! Come back it isn't safe!" You hear your nanny call out for the upteenth time but can only giggle as yyou keep running, your childlike delight and innocence not picking up on the danger you were about to be in.

You take a few turns here and there, until suddenly something feels...off...the playful atmosphere you had just moments ago replaced with something...scary...

Running comes to a halt, and you take a look around as to where you are. Your arms at your side and hands balled up, you don't recognize it.. the trees are taller...much taller than you remember, and when you look up all you see is leafs...covering everything.

"Huh..? Nana Misa?" You stand up straight and call out,, as you try and retrace your steps from where you are, but something about that feels wrong too.

Its not until you feel a pit in your stomach, your heartbeat picks up and ththere'a sudden shortening in your breathing that you quickly turn around...and there's some...stranger...

Very long, black hair, as black as the night sky...probably darker than that. Skin painfully pale, almost as pale as snow...and those eyes, they're pitch black and they remind you of a fishes eyes...

You once again, stand up straight your hands out of your pocket now stuffed inside them again as you look up at the strange man. "hey...who are you?" You question with a tilt of your head, despite that unnerving feeling you got from him earlier.

He stares at you, those unblinking eyes seem to stare into your soul as he doesnt say anything for the longest time.

"You're just like him..." The strange man speaks, and his voice is smooth like butter but just as unsettling as his appearance, its like looking at one of those creepy characters from a scary movie your oldest sister use to watch.

"Hey! I asked you a question!" Despite your fear you try and mask it with false confidence and a demanding tone.

"I won't make the same mistake twice..." A large hand attatchef to one of his long lanky arms reached out to grab you, and it was like you just froze.

What is this..? This feeling? You can't move, you know you should jump back,, swat his hand away, bite, kick, scream do something to prevent him from grabbing you but you can't. Your brain screaming for you to move away but your body isn't responding.

Its like you're in a trance...a terrible...terrifying trance that's taking over your entire body, freezing it in cold unexplainable fear...

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" A shout, a familiar voice snaps you out of that trance, and you see her, who you believed to be your savior.

"Nana! Nana Misa!!" You don't know what happened but all of a sudden you felt your body and your mind get back in order,, and you dashed over to her, hot tears rolling down your face as you rushed to her and gripped onto her dress, burying your face into it and smudging tears all over the white cloth.

Her hands made their way to caress your head, gentle, warm, comforting and overall protective. Its so familiar, you were always being protected and now is no different...

"Oh...An obstacle... How unfortunate..."

Except it is different.

The man from before, you turn your head to look at him. That tone, nothing behind it but evil...its so scary...you want to look away, but when you feel your nanny's hands begin to tremble, you look up and see her face painted with the same fear yours was, the only difference is that she has some resolve.

"Please...(Name)...run..." her voice trembles....you had never heard her voice tremble before up until now, and it only intensifies your fear

"Nana...?" A crack...there's a crack in your tone, from confident to worry...you've never heard her usually soft calm kind voice tremble, you've never seen such a look of fear in her eyes, sure you've seen concern or worry but never...fear...not like this.

"I said run!" A sudden yell from her and you look up in surprise. She yells at you, not once breaking contact with the man with fishy eyes.

You try to protest, but she shoves you to the side when he steps forward. From there on it all happened so fast... you didn't even have time to run.

"Stay away!!" You hear her yell out, watching the scene in slow motion as she takes a dagger from her sleeve, and raises it above her head, in preparation to strike.

The man however just stand there...those fishy eyes...standing there...watching her as she prepares to slam the blade down upon him.

Why can't you move?

In an instant, he walks past her, and your nanny stops. She stops and doesn't move for awhile, before suddenly she falls to her knees, eyes wide tears at the sides threatening to spill, her lips parted and her eyebrows still furrowed...

Then all you see is red...

Dark red...crimson...it spits from her neck...when did he cut her? it spills out like a sprinkler on the sink, like thick water it spurts from her neck and her entire body jolts around limply.

You stare on horrified, not even noticing the man approach you, not hearing him..let along seeing him reach out to grab you.

The blood spurts from her neck for what feels like hours, covering the once green grass beneath her and painting it red...her body jolts around aimlessly before it slumps limp to the ground with a sickening thud.

Loose pink hairs fall over her pale face, dark red blood drips from her once pink lips and her uniform, the once white apron now dirty with what could be blood and mud.

You can't speak...you can't move, you only look on hopelessly as she lays there...watching her hand twitch...once...maybe twice before nothing...

"I won't make the same mistake twice..."

Then a cold feeling overwhelmed you, a cold feeling of someone grabbing your arm, their grip was rough, not even bothering to handle you with some gentleness like your father and mother or even uncle gon. Its not warm like them or Nanny Misa. Its cold and rough,but you can't move or even resist as it begins lifting you up.

You hang there like a rag doll as you stare at the corpse, the corpse of someone you cared deeply for, like she was an extension of your mother, an aunt of sorts. now just a corpse and through that unnatural coldness...you fell warm tears fall down your face...

"Nana...Nana!!" Your voice echoes, but not enough,, it cracked and you reached out to the body but it was too late.

It was too late for anything, because that strange man was already on the move, running with you like some rag doll, carelessly like you were less than a human.

He stops infront of a car, a limbo, its long and black, pitch black like his eyes and hair, and as you sob he sighs like he's frustrated with it and throws you in the car and climbs in himself..

"Oh a crier, how dreadful...~" another voice says with an odd tone, expaserated and dramatic.its just as unsettling as the other man who threw you into the car.

You can't see through your blurry eyes and the heavy tears that fall out of them,but you can tell that it's a long drive...a long... draining drive because the one who called you dreadful made hints at shutting you up for good. The man that kidnapped you however immediately shut it down.

Eventually the car did stop, and it was time to leave the car, which threw you into a big hysterical fit. You kicked your legs, swung your arms and screamed and cried as the man tries to find an opportunity to grab you..

"Your struggling is useless." That cold voice points out as he grabs your arm and yanks you out the car, forcibly dragging you through what seems to be the woods.

Your sobbing doesn't stop, like you're hoping your parents will hear you, uncle gon, your sister...anyone... maybe you had even hoped the man would have some mercy and return you.

However as they kept walking and there was yet another heavy sigh from the other man with the off voice you figured that it was much too late to be returned.

A loud creak could be heard then a slam, the immediate feeling of a cold breeze hit your face and if you weren't scared before you definitely are now..

Your cries get louder, echoing through the halls as the man holding your hand firmly simply walks, his heels clicking against the hardwood floors, dangling you above the ground from his height alone.

Then it stops. Another loud creak of a door as he lifts you up by your arm to make eye contact with him but your too scared, still crying. He sighs.

"Since you won't calm down ill have you stay here until you stop being so hysterical." His voice blank and empty of any sympathy as he tosses you in the room.

You land on the cold hard floor with a loud thud,, your body throbs in pain as you snap your head up and look to the door,, you quickly stand up run over only for him to slam the door shut, a loud bang following.

"NO!" You scream out, scratching at the door, twisting and yanking at the knob, and you even went as far as to slam your body against it..

In the end however...nothing worked... jt just left your little body sore and you're heart torn to pieces as you realize you can't get out... and you were back to where you were before, sinking to your knees, sobbing as you call out to anyone who could help...your father...your mother...uncle gon...your sister...your brother.

The thought of never getting back home...it brings you to your knees as you sob loudly for them, hoping they'll come...come and take you home..

^___Bonus! ^-^________^

Letting out a heavy sigh, Killua slumps back on the side of the ship he and his wife boarded, a trip back home after a weeks work of work. It was exhausting but going home to see his kids would be pretty rewarding, he brought gifts back as well.

His hair grew in the back so he pulled it into a low pony tail but other than that the front remains the same. He looks out into the distance and suddenly his eyes twitch a bit.

"Something...feels wrong..." he mumbles under his breath, but he doesn't know what...not yet at least.

[bangpop91]

The New Kitten

It's day 7 of @bucktommypositivityweek round 2.

Today's prompt: Predictions for the future

Salem takes protecting the new kitten very seriously. Or Buck and Tommy are new parents and this is how Salem feels about it.

Salem is sitting on his perch in the bedroom looking into the small basket holding the naked kitten who is currently fast asleep. He'd heard his people talking about the new baby coming and as a rule he does not like children. Jee and Mara being the exceptions. But they are sweet girls who give him lots of pets and treats and are always very gentle. 

And while he has made friends with Felix, the dog is large and hyperactive, and someone has to make sure the big, slobbering imbecile doesn't trample the new kitten with his massive paws. Salem doesn't care that Felix had been calm or gentle a few days before when Tommy held the kitten they call Luc in his arms introducing the pair. He knows his people would protect Luc as best they could, but they are obviously very tired from the new kitten so it falls to Salem to protect Luc.

Not that Tommy and Evan necessarily agree since they keep removing him from Luc's basket when he tries curling up with the big, hairless kitten, telling Salem that the basket isn't for him. Which is incredibly impudent if they had bothered to ask him, which they didn't. But Evan had built him another perch that would allow him to keep an eye on Luc in his basket, so Evan must understand that Salem is just protecting their new family member.

Luc starts fussing in his basket, Salem wants to jump in there and sooth the poor hairless kitten, but his humans have made it clear he's not allowed in Luc’s basket. So instead he leaps from his perch landing next to Evan's head who is starting to shift into being awake. Not fast enough for Salem's liking though, so he licks into the humans ear making him jump to and glare at him.

“What the hell Salem? What's with the wet willie?” Salem glared at him, but now that the human was awake he heard the kitten fussing. “Oh, Luc needs me huh.” Evan ran a hand over Salem's fur affectionately as he stood up to grab the kitten from it's basket. “Good boy, Salem.” 

“Evan?” His favorite human grunted from the other side of the bed sitting up looking like he was in desperate need of grooming. 

“Luc, needs a bottle and a fresh diaper.” Salem made sure to keep a very close eye on things as Evan transferred the kitten into Tommy’s arms. “I'll be right back if you want to take care of that diaper.” He plopped his butt down in front of Tommy and Luc to supervise the diaper change, butting his head against Luc's and purring loudly when he started crying.

“I know, Lucian, you're cold. I'm sorry Papa will go quick.” Salem glared at his favorite human. “Oh don't give me that look. I've gotten much better at changing diapers.” He had, but Evan is still faster at it. Evan appeared plopping down on the bed next to Tommy swirling a bottle of milk as Tommy finished tucking Luc into his pajamas and funny bag. 

It looked like the new parents had everything under control as Evan took back Luc. Which means Salem has earned a zoomies break. Someone had to check the perimeter after all.

Tagging @sunnywithachanceofbi for the Salem content and @cannibalhellhound because you love animal stories. Bellow the cut are the inspiration pictures for Salem and Felix(who is a Dalmation/Newfoundland mix)

[bridellashiper]

II ☨𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐣𝐚𝐡 𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 ☨ II Burn into flames angst

oneshot! Elijah Mikaelson x Hayley Marshall! Reader x Elijah onesided love! closed/Jealous(?) off reader!

Summary; Y/N isn't good with feelings and can't come to terms with the fact that Elijah cannot love her the way she craves. Elijah is just a big softie for his dearest friend, trying to provide her with comfort but ends up doing the opposite :'(

▌│█║▌║▌║ ▌│█║▌║▌║

Why was Elijah so hell bound to protect Halyley? why did he always put himself in harms way for a woman carrying another man's baby— his brother's baby, so why, just why was he so hell bent on protecting her?

You knew why, he had fallen for her, fallen for a woman he had only known for a few months. Honestly you just could understand why, out of all people to fall for, why her?

You just couldn't wrap your head around it, you had been with the originals for as long as they had been around, yet you just couldn't wrap your head around it,

Maybe it was the jealousy speaking, maybe it was because you were in a state of disbelief but whatever it was it had a grip on you, most of the time you spaced out, staring at the walls as if it were the most interesting in your years of being alive.

And sometimes it was Kol snapping you back to reality, and sometimes, just sometimes, you wished it was Elijah pulling you back to reality and not his brothers. It was a selfish and stupid thought on your part, you buried it deep down, despite the little hope that sparked every time you looked to see who had driven you back to reality.

you needed to get a grip of yourself, you were Y/N Y/L/N, the closed off woman whom stood loyal at his side, you were his friend, his companion, his closet friend. he would never look at you the way he does with Halyley,

You had come to that reality a long time ago when you first saw Elijah with a woman that was not you, smiling affectionately at another woman in a way he hadn't with you, so you buried how you felt for his sake. Praying he wouldn't gain on you.

Then it happened, you were again, seemed a little too preoccupied staring intently at the wall, lost deep on thought, Elijah had just finished helping Halyley settle down hope when he had found you in this state, it was a state he was far too familiar with.

The kind where you don't know if your drunk or just stuck in an endless loop of despair.

His heart ached at the sight, he hated seeing you like this, lost in a space of void, seemingly deep in your mind. With a sigh he stacked closer, gently settling his glass down as to not startle you.

He watched you for a moment, taking in your state of thought, the glass cup that was barely hanging by a thred in your fingertips, the way you would sigh, clench and unclench your jaw every now and than. He saw the ragging battle that sate within you.

That ragging storm that he too, was once familiar with, he wanted to help, to support you in any way, but he couldn't not if he didn't know the root of the problem.

After a few minutes of silent watching and thinking the sound of glass slipping and falling against the ground, snapped both of you out of your trace. When your gaze flickered towards his, your heart sank.

What was he doing here? why was he here? how long had he been here? numerous thoughts ran through your head as you stared him blank face, never once blinking or breaking eye contat.

''Are you okay?''

''What?''

''Y/n, I asked if you were okay, are you okay?''

''Yes, I'm fine, old friend. Why wouldn't I be?'' Your reply came out almost forced, like you had intended to say something else but blurred out the first thing that came to mind as you stood up and brushed yourself off of any glass that may had fallen on you.

Elijah frowned his brows, picking up on it almost immediately, and you cured under your breath for not being able to convince him you were fine.

''No, you are not, tell what is bothering you. I'm sure I can help with it.'' Elijah pressed feather, trying to get you to fess up and confind in him like he had done with you many times before.

''Lijah, I told you I'm fine,'' You sighed as you began to pick up the shattered pieces of glass and dispose of them in the bin.

''No, you are not.''

''Yes, I am, 'Lijah,'' You argued back, biting back ever word you wanted to say to him.

''You are being dishonest,'

''Elijah, what are you imply—''

''You are lying to me, I can see it, your tone of voice, the slight tremble in your ever step, and the ragging battle that you are fighting within yourself.''

Your stood stunned, glass shards in your hands as your heart sank into your stomach where you that readable that Elijah was able to see the ragging storm inside you? you had prided yourself on keeping yourself in check. Much like Elijah, but it seems as though you had failed.

''What did you just say?''

''I said I know you're lying to me—''

''Don't.'' You whispered, unable to voice or even come close to expressing how you felt in that moment.

''What?''

''Don't, 'Lijah, just— don't...please''

Now he was really concerned about you, of all his years of knowing you, he had never not once heard you plead like this. Like someone had hurt you, like you were wounded.

''Y/n, please. Tell what bothers you this much, clearly it is something or rather...someone—'' Before he could even finish you had vanished out of his sight. He sighed deeply, running and ran through his hair, feeling an overwhelming guilt for not being able to help you, without realising he was the cause of the problem. He just wanted to help his close friend whom he'd spent years with.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

TW: explicit discussion of suicide

(ID: Screenshot of Ray in ep4 saying to Sand "A burden to society" after he tells Sand to scold him and insult him) I cannot for the love of everything that is holy get this moment out of my head. Because the way he says it - with this deep fondness and affection - makes me want to want to chew my own fingers down to the bone. Because after that absolutely earth shattering intro where this happens:

(ID: Screenshot of Ray from ep4 where he calls Mew from the bathroom saying "If I'm gone, I won't be anyone's burden anymore, right?) one would assume that Ray wouldn't take being called a burden very well, certainly wouldn't grow an emotional attachment to someone who has called him that multiple times, has expressed his irritation over Ray's clinginess upfront.

And yet that is exactly what happened. So the question is - why? I've seen multiple ppl talk about this so I feel like I don't need to explain here how Ray's friend group aren't particularly good friends to him. Even Mew, who Ray supposedly loves isn't all that affectionate or understanding towards him. Please read this meta for a breakdown of why and how Mew's response to Ray when he calls him from the brink of suicide and for which Ray is so incredibly grateful for - fell laughably short. Ray who's mother never loved him (and it's likely quite nuanced since she quite obviously committed suicide and I can't even begin to comprehend the heights of fucked up abandonment issues that would wreak on one's child), Ray who is yet to mention his father even once, Ray who tells his friends how much he loves them all the time and literally never hears it back - you know, that guy isn't really looking for a grand love, he isn't waiting for someone to see inside his soul and find something wonderful - he's looking for scraps. Literally anything.

He wants someone to look at him, see inside to his festering, broken, ugly core and still find it worth loving, find it worth saving. And Sand? He does exactly that from like Day 0

(ID: Screenshot of Sand and Ray from ep1 in Sand's bathroom where Sand says "How did you manage to live this long" to a passed out Ray) I had lost my entire mind over this interaction in ep1 because Sand has that exact irritation and affection here that one would feel for a troublesome sibling. Like he doesn't really like Ray here in this moment and he's not very secretly very annoyed at him. But no matter what,he will protect him. Ray isn't awake in the above clip to experience it but it just drives me crazy how Sand is exactly the person that Ray has been waiting for, a person capable of very intense albeit pragmatic love. Someone who can call out Ray's burdens and still love him through it (unlike you know...his so called friends). Yes, there are quite overt parallels between the arc of Ray's feelings for Sand and Mew:

(ID: Screenshot of the RayMew kiss from ep4 and SandRay kiss from Ep2 side by side) look at the arch of his body!!!! my man is always freaking reaching out isn't he!!!!!!

(ID: Screenshot of Ray offering to save Mew from ep4 and Sand from ep3 side by side) But that's where those parallels end because Sand and Mew could not be more different as people and Ray has absolutely no way of comprehending the person that is Sand. Doesn't Ray act a little differently around Sand?

(ID: Screenshot of SandRay from ep3 where Sand says "You just don't take no for an answer, do you, Ray?) Like it's funny when Sand had said this but also...doesn't he? Doesn't Ray take no for an answer quite often? Didn't he take Mew's 'no' two years ago and never pestered him about it again? Didn't even bother to do anything about it when Boston was trying to get in his head about Mew at the party and instead went straight back to making fuck me eyes at Sand. When Mew told him not to fight with Top, didn't he immediately back down? Didn't he let Mew walk away with Top without a fight? Ray hadn't felt the need to confess his feelings again or kiss Mew for two years, not until he sees Mew in Sand's POOR BOY shirt. Ray can't stay away from Sand, doesn't have a single clue as to what it is he's feeling for him (please have your life ruined by this gifset) - how could he? How could he possibly know what it feels like to be loved by someone? How could he possibly know what it feels like to love someone?

[bitegore]

okay i am actually writing the Experimentalist First Aid metapost right now.

Beginning statement and caveats - I have no reason to believe this is canon and basically don't, except that I like it better. However, it literally would be indistinguishable from canon for the most part for various reasons outlined below, so like, you can't prove it's not. Canon compliant canon divergent headcanon territory.

Also, this is about G1.

I think First Aid is many things.

First Aid is a big giant fucking baby and he has the experience of someone who has been alive for Ten Total Minutes. First Aid is not old enough to have properly-tuned self-preservation instincts or an understanding of what will and will not be able to kill him. Unlike everyone else, he handles this by being a giant soft baby (affectionate) and going "I don't want to go fuck around with things that can kill me" and hangs out inside, where he gets his fill of Necessary Exciting Stuff(tm) with Ratchet and the other Autobots. However, he's still got the ravenous desire for Experiences, and this turns into

He fucking loves learning. he loves learning so much. He doesn't want to get hurt but he wants to know everything. Sometimes he needs to go out and do stupid things for that, but he'd rather learn from someone else's experiences first.

He is a medic. He likes to help people, but he likes to help people by taking them apart and getting elbow-deep inside of them and rearranging things, which is usually the kind of thing that human people get squeamish about. Even granting that Transformers are not as squeamish or flinchy about gore as humans are, being the person who gets to watch their friends get grievously injured and then stick your hands in there and mess around with the wound is pretty heavy for some (most!) people! But I think it would be a strange reading to say that First Aid doesn't like to be a medic, so this clearly doesn't bother him the way it might bother someone else. He doesn't like when his friends are injured, but the actual process of surgery - cutting them open or digging into a wound to clean it out, that sort of thing - isn't a problem for him, which leads into

Even by TF standards, First Aid is remarkably unfazed by injuries, gore, and insides-currently-outside than someone else his age would probably be. And that means I can get away with the next few parts...

I read First Aid as a sadist. In the autonomous, just-kind-of-happens sort of way, not the "I'm going to menace you" sort of way people sometimes interpret that statement. People get hurt in front of First Aid and he finds himself fascinated by the injury and immediately concerned with fussing over them in particular, partially because it's his job to pay attention to the wound and partially because there's something about pain and injuries that fascinates him beyond the confines of his job.

First Aid also likes his job, and he likes doing a good job, which means he's not aout to just start banging anyone up to hurt them for the hell of it because his job is to fix them. I don't even imagine sadism is particularly uncommon among doctors, because frankly it only makes sense to me that the characters literally hardwired to cut people open might have something making it so they don't feel bad when they cut someone open. Which would mean it has to be easy for them to maintain an Autobot standard of professionalism, which doesn't really prohibit being buddies with your patients (see: Ratchet) or, like, certain human standards of care around privacy and freedom from experimentation, but does broadly prohibit being needlessly cruel to your patients in a way they themselves aren't on board with. So this doesn't interfere with his job at all, basically; it's just some extra thing he has on the side for the most part.

First Aid is a big giant fucking baby and he has the experience of someone who has been alive for Ten Total Minutes. First Aid is not old enough to have properly-tuned self-preservation instincts or an understanding of what will and will not be able to kill him. Unlike everyone else, he handles this by being a giant soft baby (affectionate) and going "I don't want to go fuck around with things that can kill me" and hangs out inside, where he gets his fill of Necessary Exciting Stuff(tm) with Ratchet and the other Autobots. However, he's still got the ravenous desire for Experiences, and this turns into

He fucking loves learning. he loves learning so much. He doesn't want to get hurt but he wants to know everything. Sometimes he needs to go out and do stupid things for that, but he'd rather learn from someone else's experiences first.

He is a medic. He likes to help people, but he likes to help people by taking them apart and getting elbow-deep inside of them and rearranging thigns, which is usually the kind of thing that human people get squeamish about. Even granting that Transformers are not as squeamish or flinchy about gore as humans are, being the person who gets to watch their friends get grievously injured and then stick your hands in there and mess around with the wound is pretty heavy for some (most!) people! But I think it would be a strange reading to say that First Aid doesn't like to be a medic, so this clearly doesn't bother him the way it might bother someone else. He doesn't like when his friends are injured, but the actual process of surgery - cutting them open or digging into a wound to clean it out, that sort of thing - isn't a problem for him, which leads into

Even by TF standards, First Aid is remarkably unfazed by injuries, gore, and insides-currently-outside than someone else his age would probably be. And that means I can get away with the next few parts...

I read First Aid as a sadist. In the autonomous, just-kind-of-happens sort of way, not the "I'm going to menace you" sort of way people sometimes interpret that statement. People get hurt in front of First Aid and he finds himself fascinated by the injury and immediately concerned with fussing over them in particular, partially because it's his job to pay attention to the wound and partially because there's something about pain and injuries that fascinates him beyond the confines of his job.

First Aid also likes his job, and he likes doing a good job, which means he's not aout to just start banging anyone up to hurt them for the hell of it because his job is to fix them. I don't even imagine sadism is particularly uncommon among doctors, because frankly it only makes sense to me that the characters literally hardwired to cut people open might have something making it so they don't feel bad when they cut someone open. Which would mean it has to be easy for them to maintain an Autobot standard of professionalism, which doesn't really prohibit being buddies with your patients (see: Ratchet) or, like, certain human standards of care around privacy and freedom from experimentation, but does broadly prohibit being needlessly cruel to your patients in a way they themselves aren't on board with. So this doesn't interfere with his job at all, basically; it's just some extra thing he has on the side for the most part.

I think that's all the requisite readings.

In sum, this gives us a guy who relaly likes being around people in pain, who also likes being the guy to help them out of it, and likes to learn. He's encouraged to do all of these things by the people around him, because he's not being concerning about any of it- he's just dedicated to what he does and he's good at it, and getting better every day.

And by the same tokens, you have a guy who really, really badly wants to get to take someone apart over and over, because he wants to see how they work on the insides and he likes the way they look when they're in pain, but he doesn't want to fuck over his friends, comrades, patients, or teammates, and everyone he's interacting with is at least three of those things.

Plus we get G1 First Aid's pacifism, which is a strongly-held ideological standpoint that First Aid maintains - he won't fight, he won't carry weapons, but he will work as a medic. We can interpret that this isn't a squeamishness issue for him by the asme tokens I established earlier - that he's much more okay with getting into the guts of his friends and coworkers than the average person would be - and also by the fact that he was built in a military context and everyone else is a military fighter of some sort. if he were reluctant to hurt people because of anything shy of serious personal convictions, I am convinced that the Autobots around him could have convinced him otherwise. His position is profoundly difficult to maintain in an active war zone, aftr all.

So even beyond standard Autobot ethics, First Aid does not want to hurt people. Yet I reconcile this with saying he is an innate sadist anyway, because they're not mutually exclusive. It really just means that, like, First Aid can want to take people apart all he likes; he's just not going to do it to anyone until someone asks him to.

As an aside, in my corner of fandom anyway, it seems like we talk a lot about characters who kind of throw interpersonal concerns and care for those around them to the wind in order to chase their own hedonistic desires (see: Vortex, Overlord, Motormaster, Megatron, etc) or otherwise, put bluntly, just kind of don't care that much about their partners' and playthings' consent even when they have it. And that can be a lot of fun, obviously; I like them. But as of late my friends who shoot the shit with me about consensual kink in Transformers have been busy or we haven't been talking about it for a while, and I've been missing the other side - the exact same desires and interests, just harnessed, controlled, and managed, not because First Aid has to but because he just, like... feels like it. It's what he wants to do. And, like. yeah the Autobots wouldn't be pleased if he turned out to be some sort of turborapist, lol, but he's the first person to decide he's not going to run around doing harm. I tie it into the pacifism. Part of this reading is because this is my reading; part of this reading is because I want to insert even more contrast between the characters I see First Aid Aid played alongside than I'm already seeing when I finally sit down and write about him myself.

So what this boils down to - all together - is that First Aid wants someone to ask him to take them apart.

And he likes to learn.

So the first person to catch his attention and walk him through opening their chest up is going to get to see him catch his brain on every shiny new edge he's not used to seeing outside of a medical context, and he's going to go over and catalogue every single part and take them out and put them back in and he's going to do it over and over until he can do it without looking and then he's going to do that to everything else, too. He's going to pick up every style of play fast and hard, but I read him landing hard on the "roleplay is kind of silly, I like bodies" side of domination. And I think he'd enjoy domination a lot.

He's a good student and a quick study. He likes to learn. He's enthusiastic and comfortable being taught, too. It would be very easy to turn him into a service top, too, to talk him into being an extension of your own hands and guide him through doing what you want.

But only to a point. Because he's still a pacifist, so you can't use him to hurt someone else, unless they're also asking for it. But, hell, he's part of a combiner team... I bet that would come easy to him, too, once he does have everyone's consent.

In a few thousand years, I think First Aid is going to maybe be one of the biggest kinksters in the entire Autobot faction, or he's going to have extremely narrow and extremely specific tastes. But he's going to get there through experimentation and he's going to get there through his fascination with anything new, which right now is everything.

Last bit is that - I think his instincts are not fine-tuned, self-preservation-wise. I think his social instincts are just as bad. you develop those over time, after all, and through experience, and he doesn't have that. And he's a pacifist because he doesn't want to hurt Decepticons. Very sweet, certainly, but the Decepticons are like... kind of dicks lmfao. The way of things is not very complicated because there are so few Transformers around and alive; eventually First Aid is going to run into a Decepticon. The question is if he ever ends up on good terms with someone from the other faction - or if he already has - or if he gets himself hurt early and learns to avoid them fast. But even with the latter, I don't think that's how he'll stay. I think he wants to experiment. I think he wants to learn and do more and learn more. So eventually he will run into a Decepticon who is also willing to play the way he's willing to play, and they will end up making, if not friends, then at least some sort of positive interaction and First Aid will...

...well, he's never going to stop being curious, huh. That would be boring. But his morals and standards for his behavior are either going to stay ironclad or they won't, and either way it'll be interesting to see what happens. Because there's no bottom to where First Aid might go, eventually.. as long as he's being asked for it.

[kjthenbee]

On the lack of major "heart eyes" moments from Ed this season

So one thing that I've been noticing this season that kind of bothered me at first, but that I now think may be intentional acting on Taika's part, is that something about the way Edward has been behaving around Stede since they reunited strikes me as being much more distant compared to S1 Ed. Like Rhys is out here playing Stede as the most genuinely head-over-heels in love we've ever seen him, meanwhile Edward "Heart Eyes" Teach seems very emotionally reserved around Stede, and you can see it in his face.

Like yes, Ed still clearly gives Stede affectionate looks, but he isn't giving him those blatant heart eyes like he did all of S1. Like I especially don't think we've seen him look at Stede in the same way he did post-S1E9 beach kiss yet. We've gotten some moments close to it, such as after the "I love everything about you" conversation in S2E4, and when Ed is watching Stede run into the forest in that same episode. But during the moonlight kiss in S2E5, he seems pretty reserved emotionally, and when you see that last shot of Ed before Stede closes the curtains in S2E6, he doesn't look very thrilled.

Interestingly, the one time I noticed where Ed did give off a very similar "god I genuinely love you so much" look was not even with actual Stede - it was when he saw MerStede in the gravy basket.

Overall, this lack of Edward "heart eyes" moments has made a lot of the romantic scenes post-S2E4 feel just a tiny bit off to me, and I think that's the point. It makes sense that Edward still seems distant and guarded around Stede. He was hurt very badly when Stede left him, and he still needs time to truly trust him again (hence "taking things slow").

Another thing I'd like to add is that in both S2E6 and S2E7, Stede and Ed refer to each another as "my friend" (Stede to Ned Low, Ed to the people at the crab shack). Sure, other people refer to them as boyfriends, but they don't refer to each other as boyfriends. My husband and I were just talking about this, and he thinks that this is one hundred percent intentional on the writers' end. Stede and Ed may have talked in S2E4, but they still haven't talked enough. They're still not being mature about their relationship. They were "together" again for a bit, yes, but were they ever actually together? Like did they ever have a conversation to establish the nature of their relationship? Stede even said that their relationship could be "whatever they want it to be" during that last argument in S2E7, which struck me as odd, because it just makes their entire relationship sound very vague.

They both need to come together, talk, and be honest with each other. They love each other deeply, yes, but Edward has been hurt and is still recovering, while Stede is focusing on becoming the badass pirate that he thinks everyone (including Ed, as we saw from Stede's dream in S2E1) wants him to be, even though it's not who he really is at all, nor is it the person who Edward originally fell in love with. They need to come to an agreement that their relationship is a committed one, and they need to recognize that true love requires compromise, communication, and listening to your partner to truly stand the test of time.

SPOILERS FOR S2E8 (talking about brief clips shown in the teaser + clips seen in some BTS ads)

The heart eyes actually do seem like they are going to make a reappearance in the season finale based on some of the clips of Ed and Stede we've seen from S2E8 - particularly the ones where Ed and Stede are holding each other on the beach. The way Edward is looking at Stede in this scene actually does look like a genuine Edward "Heart Eyes" Teach moment to me. Just something I thought was interesting.

[yanderes-galore]

Platonic older sibling of Cartman that is his opposite that tries to teach him to be a better person concept? Thanks!

Honestly, I was excited for this as it would be such a shitshow. Pardon my language but if you're reading my stuff you're atleast 16 anyways. This concept bounces between younger you and Cartman and older you and Cartman, for sibling stuff.

Note: Wow, I actually loved writing this- I wish I put more cute moments but I had to still acknowledge the fact Cartman is an ass. Probably one of my new favorite platonic concepts I did. I do not mind feedback!

Yandere! Platonic! Eric Cartman with Older Sibling! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Jealousy, Mature language, Platonic behavior, I actually made some cute moments, Family issues, Manipulation, Murder, Violence, Clingy behavior.

Your existence confuses many who meet your family immensely.

How did the first child come out fine, but the second child came out... Cartman?

It's speculated that it's because Cartman was never given proper discipline.

He's also very hard to control.

You're so nice to everyone, you help your mother, you don't try to exploit anyone.

Meanwhile Cartman does the opposite of all that and makes people eat their parents.

The only person he's really compassionate to is you.

You're were the only older kid he liked when he was younger.

He did hate that all of his friends liked you too.

"Why aren't you like your sibling, Cartman?"

"Shut the hell up!"

You look so different compared to him.

In your grade, in fact the entirety of you growing up, people were astonished you were related.

"Cartman? The little fat punk? You're related to him?"

You look like you don't get along.

Of course, your sibling relationship isn't perfect...

But you are probably one of the only ones he genuinely cares for.

There's times Cartman tries to not show he cares for you...

Yet he can't help but like your comfort.

If you're wondering... is he affectionate?

Yes... with lots of grumbling.

Cartman secretly does like your hugs and sibling bonding.

He just doesn't want anyone around to see it.

If he isn't trying to pester his friends into hanging out, he comes to you.

He's nervous asking due to his pride.

You do try to put him on the right path, feeling that's the right thing to do as a sibling.

He's a horrible person... yet he's still your brother.

You try to teach him good morals and respect...

He doesn't pick up on it.

He's only ever good to you.

He's always been a moody kid.

Yet there has been times when you were younger he was... softer for lack of a better word.

For example you were watching TV together after school, he feel asleep almost on you.

R.I.P your breathing.

It was... cute.

You didn't even bother bringing him up the stairs and instead just tucked him in there.

You do love him.

Even with you both being older, him being around 18 and you somwhere in your 20's, you still care for him deeply.

Cartman acts like he doesn't want a sibling.

Although he probably can't imagine his life without you.

Now... the yandere part?

Cartman is selfish and easily jealous.

He's still manipulative even to you.

You just know to shut him down.

Cartman doesn't want his friends talking about you.

God he'd be so fucking pissed if one of his friends complimented you.

Even more so if you started talking with someone like Scott Tenorman.

You mention that man's name?

Cartman is actually screeching about it.

Cartman is very protective/possessive about his older sibling.

Ever since he was young he clung to your leg in public if you were doing something.

Which felt like you were being weighed down.

Your mother thought how Cartman feels about you is sweet.

You may have no father but she's happy you have each other.

Obviously no kidnapping in this concept.

You live with each other and he finds that really weird to do to his sibling anyways?

Murder?

Oh, well, that's an exception.

If the whole feeding people their parents wasn't a warning... then that's on you.

He'd definitely threaten, manipulate, and possibly even injure/murder those he hates around you.

He does not fuck around. Ever.

You do not get to talk to Scott, you do not get to talk to Kyle.

He hates them... that would be the ultimate betrayal!

He gets pissy at you at times and you've learned just to tolerate it.

He's screaming at you and you're just petting Mr. Kitty.

He then runs off to his room.

Thirty minutes later?

He's whining for you to come and comfort him....

That was just when he was younger, too.

When you're both older he isn't much better.

He's still giving you hugs and hating who you hang around.

Due to your childhood he's probably still clingy.

Even when you have a job and move out, kissing your mom goodbye, Cartman throws the biggest fit ever.

You took forever leaving the house that day-

"Eric... I'll show you where I live, you can visit anytime."

"NO. YOU'RE ABANDONING ME. DON'T TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU AREN'T."

Will always be a child with his behavior.

Hell, to you he's always a child since you grew up together.

Yes... he does visit.

It just takes forever to get him to leave.

Have a spouse?

He's criticizing you and them just to be an ass.

If you yell at him to stop or you'll kick him out he goes silent for awhile.

Overall, Cartman is a very jealous sibling who hates to share.

He clings to you and does like how nice you were to him, trying to correct his ways despite failing.

He loves you and wishes you two didn't have to go seperate ways...

Unfortunately he'll always be a controlling brat even if you tried to change it, you just need to know when to shut him down.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Overanayzling Rick and Morty againnn

I think a big reason why Rick and Morty is one of the few shows where I don't ship anyone, aside from the fact that most of the main cast is family, is that I don't think Rick or Morty are ready for a relationship yet.

The show tells us that Rick isn't ready for a relationship yet with Auto Erotic Assimulaton. It's not that he treats his partners particularly bad, he's actually pretty affectionate with them. Even using affectionate pet names like "baby", but he is a terrible influence. Even if they would rather not drink or do drugs, he'll pressure them into doing it, because he's selfish and he wants to drink and do drugs. So who cares if YOU don't want it? Unless he learns how to stop being pushy when it comes to certain things, he isn't ready for a relationship just yet.

There also is his whole trauma with Diane, thanks to that, he has a tendency to push people away when they get too close, this also, would be bad for a relationship. If you want to have a healthy relationship, you obviously can't just push people away. But Rick is unable to stop, so this is more proof that he cannot be in a relationship right now.

His substance abuse. Yeah this one is pretty obvious, we don't see a whole lot of consequences in the show, fingers crossed they'll show that with season 8! But yeah, we do see that he does have a tendency to be violent while drunk, I mean he literally held a KNIFE to Morty's throat and yelled at him when drunk. He also set up saw traps with the VIndicators, again, when drunk. I mean if he doesn't get physically aggressive, chances are he would at best be unpleasant when drunk, and substance abuse destroys relationships, not just romantic ones, Rick does do it to cope, but that doesn't make it okay or erase the hurt that rises from it.

And that's just 3 of the major problems I could think of! I'm not saying Rick should NEVER get in a relationship, but it's clear that he has A LOT to work on before he can be in a healthy and loving relationship.

Now let's describe why our favorite traumatized child, Morty isn't ready for a relationship as well.

Now Morty does have less problems than Rick, but that doesn't mean he's ready for a relationship. The anime just ignores this though…wait. Now's not the time to rant about how horrible the anime is, okay. Now, Morty is shown to be very loving and affectionate in relationships. And he does seem to genuinely love all of the girls he dates. Butttt he is obsessed with Jessica, remember the love potion? Now, Morty has definitely improved since then. Buttttttt there is one big glaring problem…

His codependency with Rick. Yep. Now, Rick is Morty's only friend, so of course he's gonna cling, butttt besides the obvious problems with that that will probably be the topic of another overanalysis, I discussed this in another post, so ya might've seen it, but his adventures with Rick takes up the majority of his time. Sooo if he does manage to get a girlfriend, he can't spend too much time with her. And obviously that would bother anyone, anddddd chances are the girl (or boy ig) would want to spend time with him and since they can't, they would probably offer an ultimatum. Andddd since he is codependent, he'll choose Rick.

[desired-fantasy-writings]

Dru Gru Romantic Headcanons

Requested by: Nobody Warnings: None Readers Gender: Gender Neutral Fanfic Type: Headcanons Fanfic Genre: Fluff Word Count: 869

A/N: I know Dru is a old man but gosh he's such a cutie I cant help but love this character- hear me out-

• Due to how Dru grew up with his father always reminding him of being a failure for every second of his life, he grew overly clingy to people who ever remotely liked him platonically or romantically. Was often left alone having no friends and all. He was homeschooled, so he did his own thing by himself as a kid since his father didn't allow anyone into the mansion without his say so. Let's just say his father was very distrusting with people, only person he could trust was Fritz.

• Dru is not really experienced in romance, but he does his best to learn how to be a perfect partner! Romantic encounters were always very rare for Dru, if you could even call them that… The so called few who were interested were only interested in money, you know, those type of toxic people. Those encounters still stick with Dru… often making him feel insecure and paranoid, since he gave his heart, mind, and soul to the people “interested” in him, seeing their interest in him as genuine.. He didn't read the room in time and got hurt in the end emotionally. Falls for people too quickly, an absolute hopeless romantic.

• Speaking of emotional, he's very emotional, more so then Gru who isn't really. Being emotional doesn't mean it's always a negative of course, but it definitely makes certain situations a bit more challenging for Dru.

• Persuading Dru romantically would be a challenge, since he's quite dense when it comes to love, and due to his past experiences with it as I explained - as friendly and sweet as he may seem, he keeps a lot of his true self tucked away, afraid of being hurt again, so I’ll be definitely a slow process before anything romantic would come about.

• Dru’s always down to be anyone's friend, but being romantically pursued or romantically seeking someone? Help the poor lad he doesn't know what to do or how to respond.

• Like he does with people he cares about, he also rubs his face against his lover…. way more often, and afterwards kisses. Continuous hugs, he’s needy and lonely. If his S/O isn't the physically affectionate type, well they better adapt. Dru’s a total cuddle bug. 100% his love language.

• Also gift giving too. He would go way overboard often. If he sees something his S/O likes he’ll look for anything else like it and buy it for them as a surprise. Always has treats he gives his S/O too making sure they're properly fed and loved. Being a gift giver Christmas and birthdays is his favourite times of the year.

• Dru started a tradition of dressing up as “evil” Santa and cause mischief around the neighbourhood for fun a week before Christmas. His nieces, mostly Edith, drag Dru’s S/O into their “festivities” causing mayham. Pretty innocent pranks and mischief.

• Dru may be considered a villan despite his villainous nature, but gosh he's so loving and protective. Pure and true and would never truly hurt anyone unless provoked to do so. Dru is just a thief with only some morals, well, close to morally grey but not really. If anyone hurt Dru’s family or S/O, though usually a coward, turns into a knight of shining armour. That's were his skills really come into play, usually holding himself back due to low confidence outside of that, he doesn't when it comes to protecting his loved ones.

• Still learning boundaries. If he has a not so physically affectionate partner, he can completely miss the boundaries quite a lot in the moment, oblivious to his partner's discomfort. Always profusely apologises after and making up for it by giving them space. He just can't help himself to be close to his S/O… he loves their touch.

• Same thing if his partner doesn't want to talk about something that's bothering them. Sometimes he can read the room of the tense vibes, so he often accidentally pressures his partner to share what's going on, not out of anything malicious he has good intentions even if it's not the best decision to choose at the moment, so communication is key for being in a relationship with Dru as he often misses social cues. Doesn't do it on purpose that's just how he is.

• If his S/O is sad, bothered, any uncomfy feeling, as Dru has done many times before, wallow in silence while eating ice cream in bed with them, or whatever his partner may like that's a comfort food for them.

• Supppperrr affectionate and sweet, very wholesome, obviously, also obnoxiously affectionate, but he always means well. Wants a family of his own one day. If his S/O doesn't he's fine with accepting that fact… yet it doesn't take away the fact that he’s a family man at heart, but would rather make his S/O happy if it meant not having one.

• Loves loves LOVES taking his S/O on dates. His favourites are when they're at the beach… or when they're doing a heist together as they're running for their lives with loads of loot with the help of minions. He sees it as a "romantic date” what a goober.

[lilacella]

I'm not sure if Sirius comes off a little too booktoky in this one...I feel like he is a little too cool and 'popular' xD But what can I do, that's just how I imagine him. I hope it isn't too annoying to read though 😅

Also, I aged Gilderoy Lockhart up a little for this I believe. So if you stumble across that, just ignore it xD

Nightsky

Song recommendations:

Prom Queen by Beach Bunny (tumblr refuses to let me embedd the link for some reason)

Chapter 4: Jealousy, jealousy

First Previous Next

"Wake up already you lovebirds, we will miss breakfast!" James hollered trough the closed curtains of Sirius dorm bed. Remus groaned next to him and buried his face deeper into the crook of Sirius neck. Sirius pulled him closer into his arms and pressed a kiss on his hairline.

"I am afraid we might have to acually get up, Moons."

"But 'm tired," mumbled Remus, his voice vibrating against Sirius skin. "And it's Saturday. Can't we just skip breakfast?" Sirius heart fluttered in his chest. How could he say no to this sweetness?

Since Remus and him had gotten together four months ago his feelings had only intensified. Being close to Remus was intoxicating and he couldn't get enough of it. He always needed to be close, holding hands, cuddling, snogging...and some other things as well. And Remus seemed to return Sirius desire for affectionate touches, sought them out just as much as he did, except - and that was the only hang up - when they were in public.

Remus still wasn't ready to let the rest of the school know about their relationship. Sirius didn't exactly mind whether other people knew or not but not being able to hold Remus hand whenever he wanted, not being able to take im on dates properly, bothered him more and more. Of course he didn't want to pressure Remus into anything but this was annoying.

"Sorry, Prongs, gotta go without us." He called to his friend.

"Oh come on, again? Can't you two keep it in your pants for one weekend?" James teased.

"Shut up," Sirius laughed. "Moony is sleepy, okay. So we'll join you later."

"Right sure, mate. Come on Pete. See you then. And don't forget to use protection," he yelled from the door, quickly slamming it shut behind him and Peter before Sirius spell could hit him.

"Wanker," Sirius chuckled, dropped his wand back on his nightstand and snuggled back against Remus. "Sorry bout the noise, Moonsy."

" 's alright. Just hold me." Sirius melted a little. With a content sigh he wrapped his arms tightly around the other boy, pressing his cheek against the top of his head, inhaling his scent.

"I love you."

The words had left his mouth before he could stop them. Remus seemed to have frozen in place. Fuck.

"Oh, thank you." Remus replied, suddenly sounding quite awake.

Thank you. Thank you! Thank you? Right. Thank you.

"And he didn't say anything back?" James asked, playing with a stone by throwing it up in the air and catching it again.

"He said 'thank you'," Sirius replied dryly while throwing another ferret towards the hungry hippogriffs their MC teacher had put him in charge of. It was snatched out of the air before it hit the ground.

"Oh. That's...that's rough Pads I'm sorry." James frowned in sympathy. "But that doesn't have to mean that he doesn't, right? Maybe he's just not ready to say it." Sirius shrugged his shoulders, exiting the hippogriff paddock and closing the gate behind him. "Maybe he just doesn't...He doesn't have to." James frown grew deeper.

"I'm sure he does. You should see the way he looks at you."

"Maybe he just likes looking at me. And thats it..."

"Bullshit. Padfoot, you know Remus. He isn't that superficial."

"No but he is a pushover. What if he just plays along so he doesn't have to turn me down?"

"What? No! Didn't he kiss you first?"

"Yeah but what if he only did that because he had noticed that..."

"That is an insane theory. Sirius, he likes you and - if you ask me - he loves you as well. Just give him some time to adjust." Sirius sighed deeply trying to dissolve the knot in his chest.

"It's okay. I should just be happy with what I've got with him. If he doesn't love me then that's okay."

James grabbed him by the shoulders, demtermined: "No, listen to me. That's not okay. You deserve to be loved, Pads. And you are, okay? Remus loves you and if he doesn't that's his own fucking loss." Sirius snorted, but couldn't surpress a smile. James pulled him into a tight hug. Sirius squeezed his friend lightly.

"Thanks, mate."

**

Another month had passed and Remus had still not said it back. Sirius hadn't pressed the topic and tried to convince himself that it was okay either way. Did it really matter if Remus was in love with him as long as they still got to be together? Deep down he knew the answer to that question was yes. It did matter greatly. But he pushed that thought down, together with his growing frustration about their secrecy.

Usually Sirius loved having shared secrets with the people he cared about. It made for a special kind of intimacy, similar to inside jokes or age old shared memories. But now that christmas was around the corner and all the couples around them seemed extra coupley and cuddly with each other, Sirius loathed it. He too wanted to go ice skating on the lake, hand in hand with Remus, he wanted to draw their initials surrounded by a heart into the fresh snow, he wanted to use every misteloe as an excuse to snog his boyfriend, take him to the christmas market in Hogsmead and buy him all the chocolate covered fruit he wanted. Well, technically he could do the latter but he couldn't expect a kiss in return. Not that he needed payment to do nice things for Remus but a boy could dream right?

Absentmindedly Sirius strolled through the deserted 3rd floor of the castle, on his way from his Advanced Curses class, that none of his friends were taking. When he turned a corner he almost bumped into Mary McDonald, who was so startled she dropped her books.

"Oh, sorry. Here let me help."

He quickly knelt down to help her pick them up.

"Thank you," Mary gave him a genuine smile.  When they both got up and Sirius wanted to continue his path, not really in the mood for forced small talk, he was stopped by an invisible barrier. Oh no.

They both looked up to the enchanted mistletoe sheepishly dangeling above their heads.

"Oh," said Mary. Sirius looked at her with wide eyes. This was bad. The misteloe spell was pretty much unbreakable from the inside. That's what made them so entertaining for everyone on the outside. They were trapped here, unless they kissed. This was so so bad.

Of course there were worse things than kissing Mary. Sirius never paid too much attention to her but she was a good friend of Lily so she must be a nice person. Under regular circumstances he would have probably just kissed her to get them both out of this and not made much of a fuss about it but...Well, while Remus didn't want them to be official, he was not particularly fond of girls flirting with Sirius. Sirius had told him multiple times that he didn't have any interest in girls whatsoever and even if, Remus would have nothing to worry about. But Remus did worry. And if he were to find out that Sirius had kissed someone else, even under the duress of the misteltoe, he would start all over with his 'You could have anyone, why do you want me anyways?' and the 'Are you sure that you don't want to go out with anyone else? You have options, you know.'

Sirius hated these conversations, that had been a constant in their relationship since day one. Part of Sirius was somewhat flattered, that Remus obviously thought so highly of him but the - much bigger - rest of him felt, as if Remus was trying to push him away. That nothing he did or said was ever sufficient to convince the other that he was good enough, that Sirius didn't care about his other options as long Remus was still one.

With a tortured smile he turned to Mary. The girl smiled back and took a step towards him: "Guess we have to get it over with, if we want to get out of here. There seems to be noone around to bail us out."

Sirius raised his hands defensively. "No!" Mary backed off, startled by his strong reaction.

"No sorry...I...I can't kiss you. I really can't. It's nothing personal. I just...," he trailed off. Mary raised her eyebrows.

"It's okay. Uhm...but we will be stuck here if..."

"I know," Sirius interrupted her, trailing his hand trough his hair. He sighed and leaned against the cold stone wall.

They had been stuck under the mistletoe for a good hour, all their attempts at calling for help or freeing themselves futile. Even if the other marauders might be looking for him by now Sirius wasn't sure when they would turn up. He had the map with him, so no chance using that.

Suddenly Mary let out a nervous laugh.

"Would it really be that bad? To kiss me? I mean we all know you are picky but..."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you haven't dated anyone yet. And not for lack of opportunity. You don't show interest in any of the girls. I heard Samantha Jordan is actually quite offended by that."

"Is she?"

"Yes. Apparently she expected you to ask her out last valentines day."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"See? Picky. Who doesn't like Samantha Jordan. She's quite fit! And pretty cool if you ask me."

"Maybe you should ask her out then."

"Very funny."

"I am just...otherwise inclined."

Mary looked at him attentively. "Oh? So there is someone?" Sirius flinched. He couldn't tell her. He had promised Remus.

But he could tell her part of it...

"I just...I don't think I care much for girls in general."

"Oh." Mary pondered this new found information for a bit. "I guess that makes sense. Noone in their right mind would turn down a chance with Samantha."

Sirius laughed. "Maybe you should really go out with her."

"Quite sure I'm not her type."

"Who knows, sometimes peoples dating preferences are very surprising."

"What are yours then? Are you into any boys?"

Sirius pressed his lips together and didn't respond.

"Fine then. But if you're gay...why won't you kiss me? You're not one of these guys that think girls are nasty, aren't you?"

"What? No! Of course not. I would kiss you, it's just..."

"Ahhh," Marys face lit up with understanding. "You want your first kiss to be with a boy. I get it. Well that is really unfortunate now." She looked up to their festive prison guard and sighed. "I am hungry though. We are missing dinner."

They did in fact miss dinner, but then, finally they heard footsteps coming down the hallway and soon a familiar voice called out for both of them.

"Sirius? Mary? Maryyy? Hello?"

"Lily, hey over here," Mary yelled over to her friend who hurried towards them, James, Remus and Peter in tow. "There you are! We were starting to get worried."

"Misteloe," said Sirius while pointing upwards and threw Remus an apologetic look. Remus mouth twitched. Obviously relieved, that Sirius would rather be stuck for hours, than to kiss someone else.

Lily shot down the mistletoe with remarkable precision and pulled Mary into a relieved hug.

**

"Are you going to get anything for Sirius?" Lily asked while they made their way through the hallways on one of their obligatory prefect rounds. Sometimes this occupation had it's downsides.

"What do you mean," Remus asked confused. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"For Valentines day? It is in three days!"

"Oh. Well I don't think he wants anything. Sirius isn't much of a gift person, always says he's already got everything. Also he thinks valentines is stupid."

Lily hummed thoughtfully. "Are you sure? I mean James is similar but he still liked the candy I got him last year."

Remus chuckled. "Of course he did, because you gave them to him. It wasn't about the candy, it was about..." Lily watched contentedly how the realization crossed his face. "Well fuck," Remus murmured. "What am I supposed to get him? There is no chance to go to Hogsmeade before?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe pick him some flowers."

"In February."

"You could steal some from the greenhouses."

"Are you encouraging rule breaking behavior, Lily?"

She rolled her eyes. "You could...I don't know. Maybe do something nice with him instead? Plan a little date? You haven't been out with each other at all."

"Yes, because people aren't supposed to know."

"I don't understand why though. What are you worried about? If anyone made any stupid comments I am sure Sirius would put a stop to that quickly."

"I just...Well if you see us together...Do you never think it looks weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Sirius is...he is fucking gorgeous. Everybody thinks that. Even the people that despise him cannot deny that he is very handsome. And I...I am pretty mediocre at best."

"You are being to critical with yourself. You look completely fine."

"Yes, exactly. I look fine, he looks perfect. He is charming and effortlessly cool and I am a bloody dork."

"Oh come on, that's just not true. I admit, you used to be a little...loopy. But that was in first grade! You've grown up!"

Remus shook his head. "This is really nice of you but still...If people saw us together they would certainly wonder what on earth he is doing with me."

"And then what?"

"Then they might start telling him that and then he might start wondering too," said Remus quietly. Lily gently shook her head.

"Remus," she said softly. "That's never going to happen."

When Remus entered the Great Hall Sirius was already sitting at their usual spot. James and Lily were off on one of their romantic walks around the castle and Peter had to take extra lessons with Prof. Flitwick, to fix his grades before the N.E.W.T.s. So Sirius was by himself. Except for Oliver Thompson, a 7th year Ravenclaw who was leaning on the back of Sirius chair, hovering over him. They were talking. Remus couldn't hear their voices but from the look on Thompsons face he could imagine.

Since word had gotten around that Sirius was gay - Mary had accidentally let it slip and word got out quickly - the girls had stopped hitting on him but some boys had started. And they happened to be lot more forward about it. Remus quickened his pace to reach them faster.

"Why not? Come on just one date! It won't kill you," he heard Thompson say.

"It might," Sirius replied dryly. "Sorry Thompson but I am not interested."

"Really? Not even a chance? I promise I'd make it worth your while." Thompson smiled suggestively and Sirius pulled a face in response.

Remus had reached them and without thinking he stepped in between them and pushed Thompson away from Sirius. Jealousy was pooling in his stomach like acid.

"He's not interested."

Thompson raised his eyebrows mockingly "Oh I am sorry, since when is it part if the prefect duties to cockblock?" Remus glared at the brawny guy.

"Step away, Thompson."

Thompson laughed. "Look at that! Loopy Lupin trying to tell me off!"

"Watch your mouth!" hissed Sirius angrily and got up from his chair.

Thompson sneered. "Why are you defending that loser? I mean I know you two are hanging out but we all know that's a pity thing right?"

The words made Remus feel sick and dizzy but he held his position. He would not just give up now. And he knew it wasn't true. Right? Of course not.

Thompsons patience however ran out and he roughly pushed Remus aside. "Out of my way, nerd."

Remus collided painfully with the table. He was about to pull his wand when Thompson was suddenly knocked back by a spell, landing on his ass. His eyed grew wide in shock as he realized that he couldn't even complain about the rough treatment, since his mouth had vanished without a trace.

"I said watch your mouth," Sirius stated coldly and put his wand away. When he looked over to the shocked Remus, his gaze immediately softend. "Are you alright?"

Remus answer was interrupted by a loud yell from the other side of the Hall.

"MR. BLACK! Into my office, NOW!" Professor McGonnagalls face was flushed red with anger as she crossed the hall with long strides.

"All weekend?" James asked shocked.

"He can be glad that it is only that!" Remus shook his head. "That was an incredible dangerous spell! You could have killed him, Sirius!"

Sirius glared at him. "I did that for you, you git."

"That was utterly unnecessary."

"As was your pseudoheroic attempt to drive him away. If you want people to stop hitting on me, there would be an easier way, you know?" Sirius got up from his bed and stormed out of the dorm.

"Sirius!" Remus called after him but to no avail.

James sighed. "What is it with you two."

Remus groaned and dropped back onto his bed.

After Sirius hadn't returned at bedtime Remus decided to go looking for him. James handed him the map and the cloak and told him to not rile Sirius up any further. As if he had consciously chosen to do that.

He found his boyfriend in the owlery, perched on a windowsill between the birds, as if he was one himself. "Are you still sulking?," he asked gently.

"I'm not sulking," Sirius snapped back. "I just don't want to deal with you right now."

Remus flinched. He felt bad for making Sirius this upset. But Sirius had gone too far!

"I'm sorry. I appreciate that you defended me but that was...a bit much." Sirius didn't look at him and kept his narrowed eyes fixated on something in the brickwork.

"I mean, It was a little funny...but I don't want you to do something like that for my sake."

"Well that's too damn bad because I will."

Remus sighed and sat himself next to Sirius in the window. The cold air crept through the layers of his clothing and he shivered a little. Sirius must have been sitting here for a while...

"Aren't you cold?"

Sirius gave him a disparaging look. "No."

"Sirius..." Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius waist. Touching usually helped when they've had a spat. But this time Sirius shuffled away from him, keeping his arms crossed. Remus stomach twisted. He hated this.

"Please. Don't be like that."

"Me? What am I doing? Why are you like that," Sirius called out angrily, jumping up and turning to Remus. Remus could see tears glistening in his eyes. His heart cramped. "We've been together for 8 months and you still want noone to know! I get that you need time but come on! We haven't been out once and because you want to keep it a bloody secret, people hit on me and then you get upset because people hit on me. And now you are mad at me because I dealt with it in a way that doesn't suit you! And you haven't..." Sirius stopped his ramblings for a second to steady his breath "...sometimes...sometimes I think you don't even like me."

Sirius turned his face away again but Remus could still see the tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. His throat was tight.

"Sirius..." he got up and approached him carefully. "Of course I like you! I...I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't. Hey, look at me. Please." He gently put his hand on Sirius cheek, feeling hot tears on his skin and turned his head towards him. Sirius didn't resist. Remus softly ran his thumb over Sirius cheek, trying to comfort him. Anything to make him stop crying. "I am so sorry." He whispered and Sirius head dropped against his shoulder. Remus wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

"I love you."

The words came out so easily all of a sudden, he surprised himself by saying them. All these months he meant to, but couldn't get them out. Like his body would simply not let him speak, not let him become so vulnerable. Maybe because he had been scared that if he said it out loud, it would become real. And then he would have no more excuses in front of himself to keep them a secret. And then...He truly feared what would happen if they were official.

Sirius slowly lifted his head, looking at him through long wet lashes. "You...really? You don't have to..."

Remus pressed a tender kiss on his lips. "I do. And I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I love you so much." Now he could feel tears stinging in his own eyes. Saying these words felt incredibly freeing.

They took their time on their way back to the castle. Slowly strolling over the dark pathways, hands clasped tightly.

"What do you wanna do for valentines day?," Remus asked into the comfortable silence between them.

Sirius gave him a surprised look. "Do you wanna do something? I'm not sure I can offer much. With the detention..."

"I could apply to watch your detention. I am a prefect after all," Remus grinned.

Sirius smirked mischievously. "Sounds like a plan, Mr. Prefect."

Remus looked over to his boyfriend. He was truly a sight to behold, drenched in moonlight, his silky black hair falling softly down to his shoulders, his eyes twinkling like stars on the nightsky..."You are so beautiful," he heard himself say. Obviously today was 'say your thoughts out loud day'.

Sirius laughed. "So that's why you like me, huh?"

"Bullshit. I like you because you are a mean cunt that hexes peoples mouth shut when they piss you off."

Sirius snorted. Then, after a brief pause he asked: "Would you still like me if I didn't look good?"

Remus chuckled in surprise. "Of course! But you would always look good. It's just how you are."

"That makes no sense. My apperance is hardly an ingrained character trait."

"No, it is! I mean...how do I explain this. Do you know how some people can pull off the ugliest clothing? Like no matter what they wear they always make it look good. I think that's you but with...bodies? Like you could take poly juice of...of Snivellus and..."

"Ewww why do you have to bring him into this?"

Remus laughed "Let me continue," he giggled. "So what I'm trying to say is, you could wear the most unattractive person but you would still look good. People would still think you were hot."

Sirius snorted. "You are being ridiculous."

"Maybe. Maybe I just like you too much..." he grinned. The events of the last hour had left him feeling giddy and carefree. And maybe that was the reason, why he said the following:

"I think I am ready. I think...I think I want people to know. I want to be able to point at you and tell people that you are my boyfriend. And I want all these guys to leave you alone."

Sirius face lit up and he stopped in his tracks. "Really?! Are you sure?"

Remus nodded. Sirius beamed and pulled him into a kiss. Remus rejoiced in the feeling of their lips moving together, hands and arms tightly wrapped around the other, before they reluctantly separated and continued their walk to the dorm, both smiling to themselves.

**

Since valentines, things had been nothing but wonderful between them. The reaction of the other students to them suddenly strolling through the hallways hand in hand hadn't been nearly as bad as Remus had expected. Maybe the tale of Thompsons fate had served them as a warning. People were definitely talking about them but usually left them alone. And so they spent the breaks together snogging in some corner of the castle or behind the greenhouses and the evenings in the common room snuggling on one of the couches.

But with May came study season and Remus became increasingly stressed. Sirius of course didn't have any concerns about the N.E.W.T.s but Remus spend exceeding hours at the library, revising.

Today was one of those days. Remus was sat behind a pile of book with Sirius next to him who had tipped his chair back and played with the hood of Remus cloak, when Lily and Mary joined them giggeling about something.

"What is wrong with him?"

"Don't be so harsh Mary, he's only a kid."

"He is fifteen! I wasn't that supid at fifteen!"

"Who is stupid?" Sirius asked mildly intrigued.

"Lockhart." Lily dropped her books on the table and sat down across them.

"Who's that?"

"One of the 5th graders," mumbled Remus still focused on his book.

"The blonde one. Actually quite cute if he wasn't such a baby," Mary added.

"And what did he do?"

Lily and Mary exchanged a look and Lily looked over to Remus.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Well...he said that he was going to 'romance' you," Lily giggled at her own words.

"What?" Remus looked up from his book.

"Yes. He seems to believe that he can unhitch Sirius. Absolutely ridiculous."

Remus frowned. Gilderoy Lockhart might be a little pretentious twat but he was quite good looking. A lot better than himself, anyway. Maybe he wasn't being that ridiculous...He looked over too Sirius who was pulling a face.

"What an idiot. Who does he think he is? Unhitch me...really." He turned to Remus. "Absurd isn't it?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his book. He felt queasy.

Since the revelation of Gilderoys plan and some - futile - flirting attempts from his side, he had become topic number one between Remus and Sirius and, by extension, the marauders as a whole. Sirius brushed the whole thing off as a kid having delusions and couldn't understand why Remus would feel threatened. Remus on the other hand was getting increasingly upset. James and Lily tried their best to calm him.

"Come on mate, do you really think Pads would cheat on you? That's mental."

"I am not worried that he will cheat, I am worried that he will leave me!"

"For a fifth grader."

Remus groaned in annoyance. "Look, I....its just..."

"He loves you."

"I know but I haven't exactly been a good boyfriend, haven't I? I made him keep it a secret for months, didn't tell him that I love him and now I am constantly busy studying. And I know he is bored. But I need to study if I want to pass and...and what if he is so bored that he'd rather spend some time with Gilderoy than another afternoon in the library..." he trailed off, feeling terrible.

James shook his head vigorously. "He doesn't care about that. Do you really think he'd leave you because he's bored?"

"Well frankly, yes. I do. Because being bored gives him time to think and then he might realize how blinded he was and how much better off he would be with someone else." His voice broke.

James put a hand on his shoulder. "Moony. You are worried about nothing. Believe me, if Sirius suddenly lost interest in you I would know."

James had a point, Remus thought. But the uneasy feeling didn't dissolve.

"Excuse me, help! You're a prefect, right?" a group of agitated students ran towards Remus who was on his way to the hall with Sirius.

"Yes. I am. What's the matter? And no running in the hallways please!" He just knew that Sirius was gonna make fun of his Prefect voice later.

"Gilderoy." The students tried to catch their breath. "He is at the Hippogriffs."

"What the fuck is he doing there," Sirius asked immediately pissed off.

"He wanted to ride one."

"What?! Does he have an urgent deathwish or something?"

"He wanted to impress...Well he wanted to impress you. Because you take care of them. So he thought if he could ride one..."

Sirius groaned loudly. "What is wrong with that kid?"

"But he got snatched!" Interrupted one of the younger students.

"Snatched?" asked Remus with growing concern. Sirius was already hurrying towards the paddock, the group of students in tow. Remus ran after them.

As they made their way downhill it started raining. Soon all of them were drenched. Suddenly a hippogriff emerged from the clouds, a screaming Gilderoy in it's claws.

Remus caught up to Sirius and grabbed his arm.

"Is this really your concern? What do you even want to do? Shouldn't we get a teacher?"

Sirius shook him off. "I can handle this."

"Sure okay, run to save him!"

Sirius spun around. "What is your problem? Do you want him to die?"

"And since when do you care about that? Or do you care because it's him?"

Sirius pulled a face, angry. "I care because of the hippogriffs. Do you know what happens if they kill someone? I won't let that happen." Sirius turned back around and continued walking.

"Sirius, wait. I...I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Sirius turned around again and in one swift motion pulled Remus into a brief but intense kiss. "I'll be fine."

Remus watched helplessly how Sirius entered the paddock, unleashed and mounted another hippogriff with ease and set off.

It took a few attempts until Sirius managed to free Gilderoy and steered all four off them safely to ground. The group of students and Remus watched in awe.

After they had landed Sirius grabbed Gilderoys arm and roughly dragged him off the paddock.

"Someone get him to the hospital wing."

"You saved me!" Gilderoy swooned. "How can I ever repay you?"

"By staying the fuck away from me! I've got a boyfriend and no intention about swapping him out, eventhough he seems to think otherwise. So get a fucking grip, kid." Sirius grabbed Remus hand und pulled him back to the castle.

They went back to the dorm, Sirius was drying off his wet hair and they both changed into dry clothes.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Remus said. "I was worried about him. I just...I guess I just didn't want you to be the one saving him. Stupid I know."

"Remus...you're not stupid. I mean...I guess I would probably be jealous too, if someone announced that he wants to take you away from me." Sirius pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. "I'm sorry I made you feel so insecure."

"It's not your fault..."

Sirius gently cupped Remus face. "I love you. And I don't want anyone else. Especially not this little twat."

Remus smiled weakly. "I feel like a little twat myself to be honest."

"You aren't. You are great. And you would never be so stupid. Trying to ride a hippogriff...fucking maniac."

Remus leaned his forehead against Sirius.

"Will we be okay?"

"Of course we will, Moonsy. We'll be just fine."

**

The exam season went by in a blur off study sessions, eating and sleeping. The last exam had finally passed and Remus could feel reasonably confident that he'd be leaving Hogwarts with decent grades and he could enjoy their final night at the pub without worries.

"So you two will start Auror training?" Mary asked Lily and James.

Lily nodded. "It sounds like it's quite challenging but I'm up for it"

"Of course you are! You are brilliant," James beamed at her and she blushed a little.

"What about you Pads, have you decided already? Are you going to join us?"

"Nah, don't think so. I would probably get into trouble the first week." Sirius grinned. "I thought maybe I'll do cursebreaking."

"Cursebreaking?" asked Peter surprised. "Isn't that super dangerous?"

Mary nodded, concerned: "I thought that was a job for when you desperately need money...didn't you get a bunch from your uncle?"

"Yes but I will certainly not rest on it. And I think it will be fun. I mean can you imagine me working for the ministry?"

Remus hesitantly shook his head. He couldn't. Actually cursebreaking was the perfect job for Sirius. He was made for it. But Peter was right. It was quite dangerous and Remus wasn't fond of the thought of Sirius getting hurt.

"You'll do great there, mate. They need people like you," James backed Sirius up.

"I guess chances are that we'd still work together sometimes. There is quite some overlap in the fields."

"And what about you, Remus?" Mary turned to him now.

"Me? Oh I don't now. I guess I'll see what I can get."

Mary frowned. "But you're grades should be good, with all the time you spend studying. I'm sure you'll have options."

Remus forced a smile. With his lycanthropy in mind he doubted her words strongly. "We'll see."

He could feel Sirius nudging him under the table, sensing his discomfort. "Well if you don't find anything I can always take care of you."

Remus shook his head decidedly. "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, sounding offended.

"Because I don't want you to. I need to be able to support myself."

"Well sure, but if you weren't I could..."

"No."

Mary and Lily exchanged puzzled looks. "I don't get why that would be necessary..." Lily wondered.

"And why would you not want that? Not having to work, being taken care of...sounds nice to me," Mary mused.

"Well I don't like it. I don't want to be dependent on someone else."

"You are making it sound liked I'd use it to control you," Sirius complained.

"No, I don't think that. I just..." I don't deserve it, he thought.

Sirius huffed. "Suit yourself. But I will not let you starve, as stubborn as you might be, trust me I am worse." He gave Remus a smile and Remus couldn't help but return it. He knew, if he had to be dependent on someone, then he wanted it to be Sirius.