#but he didnt transition until he was an adult

[ghastigiggles]

I just randomly searched up pressure tickle not thinking I'd get much if at all BUT BOY WAS I WRONG 😅 Your style though is by far my favorite! Anyways I might've had a couple cute ideas that might peak your interest. For one, I've been wondering what would happen if Sebby was introduced to SCP-999 the Tickle Monster. Especially since it's used to treat trauma and such. And then one thing I found the tag to be lacking... content with past Seb and his siblings tickling the crap out of eachother!

o7 happy to provide boss

dialogue provided as always by sunshine and kindly translated by @fluffymary you're a real one ;;

sometimes it's nice to reminisce with someone who understands

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Would overwintering have helped baby Laoft Logan? Or because it’s rooted in SAD does that not make sense. I think I remember reading that older fae don’t really overwinter but does he ever try? Would he prefer to do some level of functioning rather than be fully out of commission (even if it means he would be taking care of himself…)

logan absolutely should have been overwintering at least until he was like five, and maybe all the way up to preteens because of his unique situation of being constantly surrounded by anti-fae charms.

the combination of these two things (and that he was... not quite malnourished, but chronically underfed because he was embarrassed of his fae appetite no matter how much Dot and Larry tried to compensate) made him somewhat sickly as a child - he didnt get ill really, having no one who he could catch anything contagious to him off of, but he was always much less energetic than thomas, got tired easily in spite of his superior strength, and he was always skinnier and paler (desaturation is a common symptom of fae chronic illnesses, especially for seelie) and generally less sturdy.

he aged fast enough and was early enough of season that this transitioned to being more SAD-like as he grew into a teenager/adult, but basically until around the time he met patton his winter self was what he was like all the time. quiet and tired and not very enthusiastic about anything more physical than a quick walk to school or the park.

of course, Dot and Larry had absolutely no way of knowing they should be doing this, or how to do it even if they did. and its one of those things logan figures out and makes extremely sure they never learn

[wynn-ing]

i didnt even think abt pasha mb being trans, i was just like "has pasha ever been a normal kid? nah hes always been feral" if we want an in fiction reason mb kid pasha just cut her hair short herself with scissors cuz its always getting in the way. yeah that make sense - dw abt how hunt knew he was a boy before pasha not important ajjcnfnxbxb

also he got the long quiet/the hunted testosterone so u know that shit is strong (also the sideburns are more feathers than hair by the time hes an adult i think)

Hunted: -arrives in this kid's head- boy i need you to listen to me Pasha: !?!??!?!?!? wait. boy? Hunted: ? Are you not? Pasha: ......... I'm allowed to pick? Hunted: yes Pasha: oh. Okay I'm a boy then. I'm Pasha. Who are you? Hunted: I'll explain in a second but we need to go into the woods RIGHT NOW Pasha: they said not to go with strangers Hunted: okay. I'm not a stranger, I'm Hunted. I live in your head. go in the woods. Pasha: okay! I like the woods -cue feralification-

(he actually didn't go into the woods until he was a little bit older, bc Hunted wasn't sure his tiny baby hands were strong enough to start a fire or carry things yet. Second he managed to make a trap and catch a rabbit for the first time they were gone.) also SO true. Mannnn im jealous imagine having a voice in your head that gives you the hormones u want, even if only based on your belief that they're capable of doing so. Actually that's a good point. Their power changes and increases based on their own belief and the belief of their hosts, so I feel like if you have a Voice in your head, placebo effects work REALLY well on you compared to regular humans. ESPECIALLY if you have one of the body-affecting Voices like Hunted, Paranoid or Stubborn. You could literally transition off vitamin gummies if you genuinely believed they'd work.

Nobody in this cast is cishet except for Etienne's nice older coworker Neil.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ritchie Herron

Published: May 23, 2024

Today is a day I can't really ignore, because whether I want to mark it or not, my body reminds me regardless.

Six years ago, conflicted, but optimistic, i thought I was doing the right thing getting 'Sex Reassignment surgery'.

A Long Story 🧵

I transitioned as an adult, I was 26. Me and my fully developed big brain thought this would be a good idea.

I had severe OCD and a myriad of mental health problems. I mean even then I be head tiltin'...This was me at age 25, pure giga chad

Soon as i found out transition was an option, I went in full force, like a bat out of hell!

I had become obsessed with the idea that my body was being poisoned by testosterone, that every masculine trait needed to be annihilated, for i was a true and honest woman after all. 

As a child, I was soft, loving, quite literal and I loved to sing, dance and dress up, but i also loved my diggers!

Me at age 10 before I went to sing karaoke with my friends family. You cant see it but my friends shoulder is on the right, he was a year younger too! I was tiny!

When I came out to my family, in isolation they all asked the same question when I told them I had something to tell them: "You're gay, aren't you?"

"No! I'm a real transsexual!" I said. Convinced I was the truest of the true. Genuinely born in the wrong body and all that noise. 

It was 2013 and I had found a supportive online community that helped me get on the right path to transition.

Facing a 15 month wait for the gender clinic. I found out I could start the blocker (And stop the 'poison'!) if i had two private diagnosis of transsexualism. 

So off I fucked to Scotland for a private diagnosis, as i waited to be enrolled for the gender clinic.

I was on a low income so I did the only thing i could, and got a payday loan. "Fuck debt, its this or death!" I reasoned.

Two days later I got the full diagnosis for £500. 

It took until April 2014 for the Gender Clinic to agree to give me the Goserelin Zoladex implant (testosterone blocker).

When I got it, I was so happy the poison was about to stop. At first, I looked a right state. I did the opposite of blend in. 

By January 2015, I was finally enrolled into the gender clinic and after a while, the blockers were showing some effect. Though, I wasn't committing to it at all.

I found myself desisting from the idea of estrogen/transition all together and just thought I'd live as just some androgynous looking guy.

It all changed when i went to the gender clinic. The very first question I got asked by the psychiatrist was: "have you given any thought to gender reassignment surgery?"

I said honestly, I wasn't sure, I dont think i ever had that type of dysphoria, besides i really want to see the therapist. 

They agreed to refer me to a gender therapist in March 2015. In total I would end up have 97 gender therapy sessions with them.

Gender therapy is not like normal therapy. It helped defeat my doubt, and also helped me defeat others who were doubtful. 

In July 2015, the Psychiatrist asked if i had given any further thought to the surgery.

I said I wasn't sure, and i'd like to find out more. Thats when i realised NONE of them had any technical knowledge about the surgery, what it does, etc. It suprised me. 

I got refered back to the place in Scotland, since I already went there for the pre-diagnosis.

I took my mother, she wasnt convinced.

The therapist told her, infront of her grown ass 28 year old son, if she didnt affirm, he'd kms. 

She told me the surgery would make myself feel better, and that regret was extremely low (I was worried about regretted it) and bleeding.

I have a huge fear of bleeding, I'm a wuss! yes... 

Once the surgery referal came through in late 2015, i panicked! Too quick i said!

"It'll be there for when your ready." The psychatrist said.

But all I really wanted was therapy. 

I said no several more times, I forgot exactly how many times they asked, but it was constant.

By 2016 early 2017, life was still chaos, but blending in felt easier, I wasn't getting noticed really and most people gendered me as a woman.

I was happy enough as I was, but back at the gender clinic in 2017 I was delivered an ultimatum. Accept surgery referral or get discharged.

That would also mean an end to the therapy, and it was keeping me stable.

I bit the bullet and said no once more. 

My gender therapist, also somewhat co-dependant on me as a client for now 60 odd sessions, didnt want to let me go either. He reasoned that i did have dysphoria and surgery was probably the best option.

So i called the psychiatrist back and asked to be refered back for surgery. 

I've went over it in my head 1000's of times.

Why did I go along with it? Why didn't just stop it?

It just felt like a ride i couldnt get off, and it got faster and faster.

Everyone was routing for me. 

Day of surgery, may 23rd 2018.

After staying an extra 3 hours in theatre, i finally woke up around this time. 4:00pm ish.

I was still bleeding and had lost nearly 2000ml from the surgery and drains.

A friend helped snap this.

I apologise for the haram photo, but this is what the area looked like a few weeks after.

I had Lichen Scoloris, which was ignored and is now inside the hole and around the entrance. I had a constricted urethra and both my scar lines on both sides split open, which would get infected.

I won't share anymore, but i have a lot of photos that are far more grim.

It's what happened I really can't show you.

The depression, the pain, the insane pain oh my god. Not being able to pee, to feel anything.

Feeling betrayed 

SO I GO BACK TO MY GENDER THERAPIST THREE MONTHS LATER....and i say "Hey, I think i made a mistake, i think i regret this."

"No you dont." He said.

I went back every other week and told him, i regret it. He said no. 

One year of this back and forth. I was refered to a psychiatric team, that said i didnt have regret, I had Unstable Personality Disorder and severe Obsessive compulsive Disorder.

And then I was discharged in January 2020.

It was the worst time in my life, those years. I was very angry at myself, and everyone I talked to reassured me that I didnt have regret and if i did, it was my fault anyway.

But I resisted...And in 2022 I spoke out after desisting 

I'm 37 as of Saturday... and I'm facing life ahead of me as a castrated male. It's not easy territory, but if i want one thing to come out of this, it's to give others a chance, a warning about surgery.

But i wont stop anyone. Just don't try and stop me.

If you would like to support my work, please consider liking/retweeting. I do it for free but will happily accept tips for sausage rolls.

Also consider checking out my substack where i write a lot of shit and youtube where i talk even more shit t.co/tQSunLfhVk tullipr.substack.com

I really needed to get that off my chest so thanks for reading. It's appreciated

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 2/8/2023

I’m working on developing my trust for the bigger energies that hold this world together. To trust that i am part of this divine puzzle and i am safe and protected. The systems of oppression have programed us to believe that we are inherently unsafe. The systems that are in place perpetuate the survival and fear when they are fully capable of supporting the health and safety of all. I am no longer interested in adhering to that prediction of reality. I’m in the business of changing the way we allow ourselves to be treated. This is the healing. We no longer allow the systems to separate us. We no longer look at ourselves at separate. We are one whole

I am looking at that last paragraph through my own experience and also through the experience of the collective. We already are connected, and the 3D world makes us think we are separate. Because we are separate in this dimension. Its part of it. Its part of the experience we signed up for. 

I like what Val said on You Made It Weird. Something like “we are someone, some of the one. And we are awesome, some fo the awe.” the interconnectedness is something that i feel very easily and i definitely need to work on my boundaries on that. How do i protect my container? I need to do David’s class again. Maybe i’ll do that today.

Taking that walk with Jordan last night was really healing. Im grateful for the honesty i feel and I’m grateful for all the feelings that come up around them. The butterflies and the squirmy wormies. Last night i noticed the part of me that was judging him. And like, my judgment was that he was a weirdo, and i like weirdos, i am a weirdo, but then i felt a part fo me that thought “this isnt cool” or like “this isn't smooth” it was interesting, the more i felt into it, i could feel this ungroundedness that i look for in male partner. I look for that in male partners because i am not connected with my root. My sense of safety came from my father and i didnt realize how much i turned to men to feel safe. Its ok for me to express when i feel unsafe. And its ok for the people around me to feel unsafe and let me know. And we share how we feel, not to make it go away necessarily, although that is a symptom of this practice. Us expressing we’re both feeling unsafe allows us to support each other through our feelings of unsafety.

There is a song that came up on this playlist called “I Am Woman” and its really hitting me right now. Its on a root chakra playlist and the lyrics for this song are in red. I wonder what the weather is like today. I know later this week its gonna get close to 60. I might go to the beach on that day and sit out in the sun. When i think of my new job i get mixed emotions, mostly because i really enjoy and value having flexibility with my schedule. But this is only a necessary evil until the wedding work starts. 

Interesting how i use the word evil. I still have a long of negative feelings around work like this. Im wondering what that is. There is a whole lot of judgment around a typical 9-5 job or basically any job that is required to give 40 hours. 40 hours is a whole lot. Id rather work 20 hrs a week. 

I think today is the day to flesh out whatever thing i have in my head. Do a practice run of it and get it launched by March. Work it through in March. Record the classes, and then offer it as a grab and play for april. With “guidance hours”

I feel the part fo me that is scared to start this and that is saying that no one is interested. There are people who are interested. Manifesting Mari’s School for Wayward Adults. This is a school for adults who are in a transitional phase and looking to do something different than the system expects. 5 subjects. Reading, Writing, Science, Math, Arts/Music. 4 weeks. 2 offering times. I feel like im getting caught int he details and i need to get more specific on the person who would be a good fit for this class. I think this course is good for people who are working on self discovery

What was the thing i was trying to figure out. Oh. manifesting for disorganized attachment. The law of attraction is hard for me because there are so many different kinds of options that im open to that i cannot commit. The release and surrender had helped me a lot, but im still trying to integrate and process. 

Im feeling very disconnected. Schuyler’s class really helped. Maybe i need to listen to David’s classes too. I should also reach out to Naomi or Ezra. i just feel so weird. I wonder if i should talk to jordan about shame around body and vices. The shame is not actually mine, is it? Like i dont think im doing a bad thing or guilty of something. But i do feel that little bit of me thats like “I’m a bad person and i am a temptress, a seductress, a siren,and a succubus.” im not bad for smoking. Im not bad for being fat. Im not bad for not being attractive. I am not bad for accidentally hurting someone. I am not bad. I am a conduit for love, honesty, and authenticity. 

I want to get better at speaking my truth and being who i am. I am no longer trying to be someone different and trying to get to this wild point. Well i am. But i know my route will bring me home first. Bring me to myself. Bring me to the pure power of I Am that is the strongest power in this 3D world. You cant change someone who is sure of themselves. I used to be sure that i was a piece of shit. Now im sure im not. Now im sure that i am a loving, kind, and forgiving. I am forgiving with myself and with others to the best that i can. Sometimes being forgiving with myself and others can be a challenge, but i give myself grace and patience and allow myself ot heal on its own time. Healing is not my business. I am in the business of freedom, stability, exploration, and expansion. 

Ok. starting now i am living in the present which is a paradise of abundance. I am tuning into what i know is here. I am being present and tuning into the magick that is here. I  am tuning into th empower that is here. I am tuning into the love that exist and i amplify it. I am tuning into what the universe has and i amplify that which is authentic. I amplify that which i am able to. I am powerful and stronger than i think. I know i am powerful. I know i am strong. I know i am smart and capable. I am intelligent and witty. I am safe and protected. I am supported by the earth and i am supported by the divine. I am supported through love. I am a powerful human. I am a powerful medium. I am a sensitive psychic. I am a strong container and conduit for the divine. I am working for the greatest good for all and for the harm to none.

I am dedicated to connection. I am the heart. I am the bridge between the higher and lower. I am a goddess of this lower realm. I am a co creator with the divine and the universe. I am open and i am ready for my roles. I am brave and i am strong. I have all the tools i need. I give myself space and time. I have patience and trust. 

I am part of this positive change in this world. I am the change that i want to see in this world. I am embodying the practices. I am ready for the next step. 

Im gonna take LSD

[m4yday-m4yday]

okay so this oc started in 2nd grade. when i was in 5th grade i made him trans so im gonna use he/him but up until then he was drawn as a woman and presented that way idk.

so his name was mr. mathy, and i drew him on every single worksheet i had all throughout school, he was very simply drawn, his dress was a triangle with polkadots and his body was a stick body with a big circular head. his face kind of looked like it came out of a dav pilkey book bc i was a big captain underpants fan at the time. he wore a big bow and had perfectly parted chin length hair.

my best friend at the time had an oc named jellybean joe, who was mr. mathy's husband. they were very in love and the two of us made comics together about them doing fun things and getting into high school drama. i was obsessed with high school for some reason at the time, and even tho mr. mathy was like supposed to be a teacher, the main antagonist for his story was like a stereotypical "mean girl" named evie evil. so ig all of these guys were high school aged. idk.

at one point, after i was given "the talk" i was sitting with my friend (this was like 4th grade) and i was like "hey... we should give mr. mathy... breasts... since he's like an adult woman......" (again i hadnt made mr mathy trans yet) and it was very awkward but i wanted to sound mature. so by then, mr mathy was basically a stick figure but this time with very large and disproportionate boobs.

by 5th grade, my friend and i had created a whole universe for mr. mathy, and i discovered i was trans and wanted to make mr. mathy trans. this absolutely ruined his marriage with jellybean joe (i wanted drama, and my friend wasn't very happy about it, but i wanted to create a tragedy). his marriage was destroyed, and i killed him off too. i made him jump off a cliff or die in a car crash or something, and then reincarnated him as some other oc.

i eventually decided i didnt want him killed off so i brought him back, and now every year during the summer i redraw him, but in my actual art style and play around with him and give him more realistic life issues. he actually had a summer fling with evie evil (again, they were all the same age but for some reason mr mathy was also a math teacher idfk i was like a 2nd grader when i made him) and it didnt last bc she's well.. evil. but he did think she was hot when she was mean but ultimately it wasnt healthy (ahem, that was me projecting on a shit relationship a few years ago lmao)

anyway that's my first oc ever, he lives very dearly in my heart.

og mr mathy

post "the talk" mr mathy (god he was cursed ;-;)

transitioned mr mathy

mr mathy in my current art style, years later

whats the oldest oc you recall making

c'mon tell me

[ciaossu-imagines]

Regarding your questions:

Yeah Lorenzo does call him that when he is agitated, just to piss Ava off, which is never a fun time for anybody, but nobody said the Varia have good coping strategies. All Lorenzo knoes is that if he has steam built up he usually provokes ava so they can argue and he can just let out his frustration. In later years that even goes into sexual directions (all consensual).

Ser is close to aaalmost all his sisters. His father turns out went around "experimenting" and trying to impregnate as many women as possible to find out how flame inheritance works and if it is possible to sucessfully try for a child with either multiple flame types or directly a sky flame. Turns out thats not how that works AT ALL and the women p quickly realized he is a piece of shit, which is why Sergeys mother actually directly sought out the other women to support each other. To what Ser knows there could be siblings he doesnt even know of, bc his mother never found them or they didnt want to be in the support group. The kids were raised almost all together at least the first 5 or so (Oldest to youngest: Maria, Chloe, Jingyi, Sergey, Emilia), but even as more children joined them, Ser seems to be the only guy for a good while until 2 of the kids transition in their teens. The whole household is extremely supportive of everybody even tho the women for the most part still primarily cared and raised their own. So Sergey wasn't completely abandoned when his mother died. It was just the incident that happened to Leo that kind of broke him into apathy. His family tried to help but he wouldnt LET them help. Maria and especially Chloe tried the most to snap him out and where the first he contacted when Asuna died (he could NOT catch a god damn break). So he and Chloe are super close and now that he is an adult he wants to support Maria how she supported all of them as the oldest of the kids. Jingyi moves to China after becoming an adult but she visits for chirstmas and keeps letter correspondence with Sergey, which helps him better his mandarin.

Leo knows the most languages as he knows many spoken languages (he can hear fine after all), but also learned several different sign languages. And yes it HAS been beneficial especially before everyone kinda learned some sign language because of him. For example during a mission where they have to get some goods from a dealer, the dealer is deaf and mute so he comminicates exclusively in portugese sign language and hired an interpreter. HOWEVER, this guy he hired is a fucking scam artist and sells highly overprized (which is why they were sent to investigate in the first place) and it turns out that its not the dealer causing trouble but his interpreter. Which Leo picks up on, since they didnt tell anyone Leo CAN hear and call him out on his bullshit. So Leo just frowns and taps Sergeys shoulder, signing that the guy is lying in german, to which Ser loudly proclaims "You're a fucking liar, aren't you?" and trust me, nobody liked hearing that. Leo signs the guy that he shouldnt expect mute people to be easy targets [you son of a bitch], and Lorenzo gets a bit more THREATENING in his approach.

Ser: you rarely get that angry.

Leo: [I don't like people taking advantage of others that are impaired]

Ser: yeah, I get that.

Lorenzo: in any way we're done here, lets leave. Hey Ser, how do I sign [thank you]?

Ser: pft, Lorenzo we just established that Leo can hear just fine.

Lor: I know, dumbass i wanted to broaden my fucking horizon.

And Sergey shows him the signing for thank you in the german and italian sign language (it has slight differences). Lorenzo signs Leo a thank you in italian and Leo just beams happy and gives a thumbs up.

Additional interesting thing i thought about. Probably half if not almost all of the Vatia members are italian. And italians are known to also use their hands and gestures a lot when speaking, so every time I imagine anyone having a verbal fight its probably a LOT of different handgestures in rapid succession, which is DEFINITELY something to get used to (i also believe Hayato is prone to that especially after he returns to italy bc its just so very ingrained in him, having been raised and lived in italy for many years. Which is also fun if you imagine the fucking same with Biancchi and Shamal)

YAY! More Varia boys! Also, thank you so much for answering my questions! Lorenzo and Ava together amuse me and I support that later ship, and you are right – the Varia most certainly wouldn’t be full of people with great coping strategies. Poor Ser though. His father is a jackass of supreme measures…he reminds me of Endeavor from BNHA so his father automatically pisses me off though Sergey’s mother? Awesome woman there and go her! The communal household seems really interesting as a concept and I’m glad it was such a supportive and kind atmosphere. Really, I’m glad that before all the shit rained down on him, that there was some happiness and I’m glad he’s got those close family members, even though I doubt that even later on he really lets them help him too much. I love Leo knowing that many languages and really showing how useful he is in that situation, which is a really great one.

Oh, I like the hand-talking! I do figure Hayato is a hand-talker, just because I’ve always headcanoned him as someone who’s very expressive in his body language, even when he can’t be verbally. Bianchi gets the hand-talking really bad when she gets angry, in my opinion, haha! Interesting bit of knowledge about my country/province, but French Canadians also are huge hand-talkers and where that’s a large portion of my home province, it’s a learned trait for a lot of even the English speaking people haha!

[ghoulodont]

ive been thinking more about your ghouls and the difference of water vs fire dew and i think it would be kinda fun if the ghouls' magic just comes from their instruments

like of course dew's hands are warmer now, he was just playing the fire guitar

perhaps on tour, they have more magic than usual, but once tour ends, it starts to ebb as they dont play as long or as often

dew definitely plays more in the winter so he's got plenty of fire magic to warm up the pack

your concept of the ghouls is just so intriguing and i like to rotate it in my brain

which ghouls do you think are sticklers for oral hygiene and which don't get the point until they learn the hard way through a cavity or four?

this is so interesting because what i had been thinking about (not sure if i ever shared it) is pretty similar. i was going to say their elemental traits (im not ready for them to have actual magic that they can control, just subtle things) are due to their ability/knowledge of each of the roles. one of the core concepts of how i think of summoning (i.e. creation from nothing, not being taken from some other place) is that they are sort of preloaded with knowledge about necessary things, which would be 1. their role in the band and 2. some of the basic understanding of the world that an adult is expected to have (but not all, just enough to function basically). so my summoning ritual does involve elements as a way to choose what your new ghoul knows how to do, and then i was thinking maybe it also creates some minor element related traits (cold hands). but i wanted dew to have fire traits so maybe it works dynamically as well.

something thats important to me about my lore is that the ghouls arent restricted in a major way. i guess im not even sure how this works for other people, can a fire ghoul play the bass? what would happen? and despite how much i love other peoples work about dews transition i didnt want it to be something 100% innate to his being. honestly im not sure anymore why i was so adamant about some of these things. i guess it just wasnt the kind of experience i felt like exploring, and im sensitive about concepts like free will and autonomy and such. anyway blur turns to haze is my elemental transition story, or a response to the concept.

so what im saying is i really like your idea. i think it evokes the same freedom to change oneself as desired that i was talking about. also i love that it ties into the idea of concerts as rituals, like the performance itself empowers them.

about teeth: i think dew is the kind of guy who (in addition to a strict routine) will brush his teeth at random times because he just feels like he needs to. and i think he would floss rains teeth for him if he was feeling too lazy to do it (sorry is that insane idk whats gotten into me lately). i think tooth decay has a genetic component to it so im not sure there would be a strong correlation hygiene and cavities as long as everyone does at least ok at brushing, especially since theyre chronologically so "young" despite being developed adults. honestly this is very interesting and not something ive thought a lot about because its not my area of teeth expertise. i might get back to you on this one.

also you might be interested in this post from @midnight-moth about phantom eating cereal

[bigirontrellis]

hard to be an autistic adult. i resigned from my job to go to college, bc i’m finally in a financial position to do so. my last day at work was supposed to be tomorrow so i spent my thursday listening to a new artist, like i always do. i came back from the bathroom after having skipped lunch and having my nose to the grindstone all day to find my computer signed out. went in to ask my boss and she was like ! you finished everything! ur last day is today now, you get an extra day! and i wanted to be thankful bc she genuinely thought she was doing a nice thing for me but it threw me way off balance and i dont feel like i got the closure i needed. i dont like it when the plan changes and i didnt even get to like. enjoy my last day or like…intentionally appreciate my last day. i didnt have a last lunch break parking lot sit, i didnt have a last clock out, i didnt even get to say bye to my favorite coworker bc he only works on friday. i didnt even talk to anyone in the office until i went to ask my boss what had happened to my computer. i worked there for four years and idk, the transition woudlve been hard regardless, but this felt needlessly overwhelming and im pretty upset about it all.

[placentaeater999]

i don't know if u mean like famous or just every day success

But

Hi im PlacentaEater999 and i am a trans guy that got/is getting the medical care i want 👍

About me: I'm almost 21, so im kinda an adult ig. I work for my university as a marketing + graphic design lead for their basic needs initiative and have worked for for there for going on 3 years now. I am getting a B.A. in biology and studio arts so i can talk to ppl about science in cool and creative ways (and to do other cool art)! I sell my art at makers markets and have had my work in a couple galleries now (happened this year :3) and i work alongside an lgbt rights advocacy org. I volunteer as a street medic in protests, and in my free time i play/listen to music, take care of my cat, play video games, do fun art, garden, and be silly as fuck. I also used to compete in competitive speed solving for rubiks cubes. I've been out forrrr maybeee 8 years? 9? Idk, i came out at the end of Fifth grade when i was 11-12. I was super fuckin stealth until the end of high school when i started opening up, and now I am a proud openly trans man starting my third year of university.

i just wanted to share some parts of my story bc for a long time I didn't think id really make it past high school (and I almost didnt) and i think its important to see thhat trans youth grow up and CAN Actually get to a happy spot in their transition

That being said

Im here!! And this year im celebrating 5 years post-top surgery in November!!!! And i like the changes t has done for me! And i'm currently trying to get my hysterectomy (hopefully my last step in medically transitioning). Insurance is and has been hell the entire time (literally called abt an insurance issue for my hysterectomy consult today), and it took so long for insurance to cover anything and a lot of disappointment and let downs but also a lot of happy moments of knowing that im moving forward. This doesnt mean that i feel super peppy all the time now, like, lets he real. Shit is scary as Fuck right now and im scared im sad im heartbroke and im angry, but i also feel pride. I think younger me would be in awe of who i am now, and it kind of chokes me up. I look at myself in old photos with so much patience and so much tenderness and think like just

W o w

Like i am ME now

Like i

Am ME

[Name] is ME like wha t

It took so much blood, so many tears and so much time and patience to get where i am in my transition. It's been so fuckin hard. But if i were given the option i would choose this life every single time. There was a while where i would say no to that option. I hated being trans so much for so long and it made me such a bitter little asshole. But over time and like learning my history as a queer chicano and unlearning certain things and working on decolonizing my thinking, ive learned that im so much more than i thought i was. And that goes for you too friend. You're so much more than u think u are and i hope things work out for you

It takes WORK to be you, and you're doing it just fine. The pride that comes from that work is not something anyone can take from you

heyy does anyone have any transgender success stories i want to see trans adults being alive and getting the medical care they want if applicable. i really just want hope tbh

[exocynraku]

pls tell me more about the shadowsight is hollyleaf’s kid au im curious and intrigued

ok! i was gonna put all this in the og post but i didnt feel like it lol -shadowkit is born in the tunnels when hollyleaf is still down there, being raised mostly by fallen leaves. hollyleaf still decides to go back to thunderclan because she trusts that fallen leaves can take care of shadowkit -for pretty much shadowkits entire life from kit to young adult he was in the tunnels, hangin out with fallen leaves, occasionally rock and eventually hollyleaf's ghost after she died -shadowkit does get renamed to shadowpaw by his parents but they dont give him a warrior name (sorta like ravenpaw) - holly, fallen leaves and rock keep shadowpaw a secret in the tunnels for as long as hes in there - everything is fine and chill until holly, fallen leaves and rock suddenly disappear from the tunnels, no where to be found. shadowpaw also starts having dreams about a mysterious grey spotted cat............. shadowpaw (who is teenager aged (in cat years) now) FREAAAKS out and does what he has never done before; leaves the tunnels

-shadowpaw appears from the tunnels on thunderclan territory, closer to shadowclan. he hears a patrol coming and tries to run but the sudden transition from full darknes your whole life to bright white light is hard for him so he cant escape, and gets caught by a rebel patrol (remember those cats in like stemleafs group i think who tried to kill bramblestar? those guys) -squirrelflight is part of that group, and notices his interesting resemblance to hollyleaf. squilf questions him, and he admits he's her son. the patrol is shocked, and decides it would be quite dangerous for him to be brought to thunderclan, so they bring him instead to the gathering island, because they think thats maybe the safest place for him -once squirrelflight and jayfeather are kicked out/leave thunderclan, they go to stay with him on the island, and thats sorta the rebels "home base" now lol. they talk alot about hollyleaf and then shadowpaw brings up the fact holly, fallen leaves and rock disappeared, and shadowpaws dreams, which squilf and jay immediately know have something to do with ashfur - squilf and jay explain holly and ashfurs situation when they were both alive and shadow is very shocked! - shadow is able to help the clans figure out whats up with ashfur because ashfur is in shadowpaws mind, speaking to him and trying to manipulate him into teaming up with him instead, but shadowpaw tricks him, and takes the info ashfur gives him and gives them to the clans - ashfurs whole plan with shadowpaw was to manipulate him into helping him kill bramble's spirit, and bring squilf to the dark forest, then kill him, to get revenge on hollyleaf (if that makes sense) - rootspring and shadowpaw team up and figure out that holly, fallen leaves and rock are trapped in the dark forest with all the other cats, and hatch a sort-of plan to rescue them, but need to find a way to actually get into the dark forest first - everything after this is pretty similar to canon, squilf gets dragged into the moonpool, the med cats & others figure out how to get into the dark forest, and the plan to rescue squilf and bramble begins! - literally everything after that is just like canon lol, bristle dies, snowtuft dies, darktail shows up and then dies, ashfur dies blah blah blah blah blah - oh oh, also, bristlefrost sacrifices herself to kill ashfur and save squirrelflight, instead of shadowpaw this time - shadowpaw is happily able to reunite with holly, fallen leaves and rocks spirits - and after, everything is alright now (other than bristles death), and the clan leaders give an offer to shadowpaw; to join one of the clans - shadowpaw REALLY wants to join thunderclan becuase he gets to know his family some more, but eventually decides on shadowclan, because his eyes have trouble adjusting to thunderclans sunny territory, but is mostly fine is shadowclans forest - shadowpaw starts training under puddleshine, but has trouble, since he has absolutely no connection to starclan, except for hollyleaf (fallen leaves and rock move on to the ancients afterlife (which also might just be starclan but im not sure)) - shadowpaw eventually gains his med cat name; shadowsight!!!! (sorta during early river) and thats kinda it story wise? theres so much text here that i cant post it all (i have more cool facts lol) so ill reblog this and put it in there!

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Magic (Doctor Strange X Daughter!Reader, Loki X Wife!Reader)

Characters: Loki X Wife!Reader, Dr Strange X Daughter!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: Mention of arguing and mild violence

Request: dr strange and his daughter havent spoken in years, she and her daughter has the same powers as him but doesnt know how too use them. She is married to loki and loki convices her to speak to her father so they both can help her. They didnt speak cause of her marriage.

“I’m not sure about this.” You confided, looking up at your husband, who responded by resting his free hand on one of your arms that were wrapped around his. He looked down at you, a small reassuring smile on his face. Those little gestures were enough to reassure you to keep going along with the plan. 

“It’ll be alright. The worst that can happen is we leave in the same state we are now, but it’s worth a shot.” Loki reminded you as you continued to walk up the street, and as you looked across the street, you saw the familiar building tucked between apartment blocks and corner shops. You stopped, waiting for the road to be quiet before you crossed. “Though I should also expect to be dropped into a portal and fall for who knows how long- I wouldn’t put it past him.” He commented, a small chuckle emitting from you. 

You approached the grand door, Loki being the one to knock before you both waited. Your anxiety spiked once again. Part of you knew this was going to be awkward, but that it was going to be overshadowed by tenseness, but it was inevitable, and you guessed it was best to do it now and get it over with than to let it continue. It had been nearly 7 years, after all. Still you were reluctant. 

The door opened, and there he stood. Your father. He hadn’t changed, and his eyes were immediately on you. He actually took a step back in surprise, looking you up and down, seeming not to believe he was actually here. You felt rather insecure under his eyes, and looked down to avoid eye contact. “Sorry for not calling ahead.” Loki spoke up, getting his attention as he could tell you were uncomfortable. “But a problem has arisen, and we may need your help.” He explained. 

“What kind of problem?” He inquired. 

“The magic kind.” You spoke up, looking up at him, your eyes immediately meeting his, his tense stare seeming to soften a little, as he nodded silently, and stepped to the side to let you both in. He shut the door behind you as you walked into the building. It hadn’t changed, it being just like how you remembered it. You had never lived in the building, being an independent adult by the time your father made the transition from doctor to Wizard. Your relationship with him had always been sharp and treacherous from a young age. He was a busy man, and while you did see him pretty often, considering the fact that he had full custody of you, it was rather pathetic. Still, he was your dad, and you loved him, and past the showering of gifts and silent high expectations, he’d been a good father. You knew at the end of the day you could always go to him to ask questions and for help. Well, that had been, until you told him you were engaged to a man with long black hair who was a prince and also quite the trickster. He straight out disapproved of the relationship, straight away telling you he wasn’t welcome. You, understandably, took it badly as well, and ended up walking away, and never came back. You married Loki, your father not showing up to the wedding, though you had revoked his invitation, and you had been living happily with Loki ever since. You had no regrets about it, convincing yourself that it was a justified sacrifice to lose your father and gain your husband. That was, until these issues started to arise. 

“What exactly is happening?” Your father asked you as he walked around you, starting to guide you both, opening a portal, all of you walking through to an office, a tea set ready on the desk as you all sat down.

“Well it would seem that your capability in the art of Magic is genetic.” Loki spoke up. Your dad looked at you for confirmation, and you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth to bite on. 

“It sort of started about 2 years ago, little things moving by themselves, stuff you could explain away by the breeze or nudging something without thinking, and then it’s sort of slowly grown. Certain emotions trigger it to be more aggressive. I tried to just… ignore it, until our wedding anniversary when Loki got me a necklace that his mother had wanted to pass on to his wife before her death, and I guess the rush of emotions shattered the lightbulbs in the room…” You explained rather bashfully.

“I’ve been trying to teach her how to control it, however the types of magic we master are far from similar. I’ve had some luck, but she’s growing stronger, and it’s out of my depth at this point.” Loki explained. 

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” He asked, the question mostly pointed to you. You looked up at him. 

“It didn’t feel right. The last time we spoke we had a huge argument and then the next time I’m asking for help. I didn’t want you to think that I was only talking to you to gain something.” You justified. 

“You’re asking for help, not for me to buy you a new car. I’ll be right back, I’m going to grab some books.” He pointed out, before he stood, leaving the room. You sat back in your seats, taking a deep breath in and out. Loki reached over, holding your hand, and you looked over at him. 

“Told you it’ll be fine.” He told you, and you cracked a smile. “I’m honestly surprised as well by how well this is going. I was expecting some sort of reaction to me being here.” 

“The night is still young, my dear.” You reminded him, this time making him laugh. That was until his chair went through a portal in the floor, shutting behind him. You would have been annoyed, but the timing made you laugh your ass off, and you knew your dad was probably in the other room smirking. 

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in! 

*Not my gif

TAGS:  @klanceiscannon14​ @waywardemo​ @marvelhoeingismyhobby​ @bellamyblakemorley @dummiesshort  @abbybills22-blog​ @waywardemo​ @mutantjediavenger​ @theoraekensnotsosecretlover​ @alicedanganh @sleutherclaw @sleepy-coffee-bean  @courtneychicken​  @graysonmalfoy​ @bellero​ @originalpottervengerlock​ @supernatural-pan​ @esoltis280​ @lady-of-lies​ @sebstanismylife​ @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980​ @cdwmtjb8​ @caswinchester2000​ @determinedpines​ @huntheimpossible

[corals-corner]

Hi. This is totally random, but I saw you post abt headcanoning king spade as trans like a year ago, and I just wanna say i really like that headcanon and also kinda think it makes sense and maybe Lancer calls everyone dad despite knowing the term "mom" because he saw how upset dad got when that term was used? Idk sorry if I'm stupid haha

I'm gonna be compleatly honest, I still absolutely stand by that heedcanon.

when lancer called Queen 'a wild mom' I thought 'oh neat! that's his mom' and when he called her a 'girl dad' I immediately went back to my headcanons.

I love those points you made. it adds an extra layer of angst(which is always welcome). it would also affect how lancer would react to other people's moms, thinking that they'll react how his dad reacted. so now whenever he sees an adult with kids he defaults it to saying 'dad'.

I also think king didnt go through his transition until after he was crowned king because his parents went very accepting about it, so he waited until he was free to choose.

[drpeppertummy]

fuckit. The Dark Leon & Shel Lore

[warning for murder suicide child death various types of abuse alcoholism etc]

shels parents Hated each other & his dad was abusive & it was just constant screaming & fighting & violence and as a result he was a very anxious & angry & aggressive child with just Oodles of behavioral & emotional problems that nobody could ever get under control. when he was maybe like 8 or 9 he woke up christmas morning to find that his dad had killed his mom & then himself. following this he bounced from guardian to guardian bc he was such a mess that everyone who took him in gave up trying to deal with him & he pretty much never got any actual help until he was older. as an adult he eventually decided it was either get better or die & i imagine that Die has probably been on the table a handful of times but he did finally start trying to get better & going to therapy & becoming involved in his community & finding fulfilling hobbies & generally just trying to put some meaning into his life. hes still fucked up bc you cant really unfuck all that but hes actively trying to be positive & heal & hes hoping he can help leon start to heal from his own trauma too

leons Big Trauma happened later in life but before his transition. he lived a relatively ordinary childhood as a reserved little girl and grew up to marry a man (bill) who went on to abuse him physically, emotionally, and sexually. bill put him in the hospital a few times & turned him into a broken shell of the person he once was in the 10ish years they were together. they had one daughter named alyssa who died from some illness when she was maybe like 5. it wasnt anybodys fault but bill blamed it on leon & drove him almost to suicide over it, & this was also the start of his drinking problem. at some point during the tail end of their marriage leon learned about gender stuff & realized it fit him & that he was a man, and he also realized that staying with bill was going to kill him. he finally managed to divorce him & started his transition not long after but hes still completely shattered emotionally & still feels repulsive and unlovable bc of bill & still an alcoholic & struggling to get his shit together. desperately wants to find love again but is so afraid to try again

shel is very mellow & gentle these days but he spent the first half of his life lashing out at anyone who came close like a rabid dog & that anger is still In There, he just knows how to control it now. theres a scenario in my brain where bill gets a job at their workplace, recognizes leon (they havent seen each other since before he transitioned), keeps deadnaming him & creeping on him & harassing him until shel snaps & beats the christ out of him with his cane & threatens to kill him if he doesnt knock it off bc as far as hes concerned hes got nothin to lose. everyone who witnessed this event was just like I Do Not See It & shel didnt get in trouble & bill never gave leon trouble again (& also probably stopped working at that office)

one of these days i will share leon & shels tragic backstories like i did for sunny

[mouseymassacre]

Please share your invisibill family and childhood headcanons!

THANK YOU ANON. LITERALLY SCREAMING. YOU ARE NOW MY BEST FRIEND. /p /j

content warning for child neglect, ableism, and a dissociation mention. stay safe!!

-> he's a rich kid!! he definitely gives off rich kid vibes. he's also british but hides his accent super well unless he's too tired or too excited to

-> he has 6 siblings! he is right in the middle of them.

-> he's trans! his deadname is clarabelle, and he wasn't allowed to transition until he moved away to fair city to attend villain school.

-> HIS PARENTS SUCK. SO BAD. SO SO BAD. they are the most neglectful pieces of shit i have ever had the displeasure of creating in my dumb brain. because he wasn't an easy child to take care of like his siblings were, his parents developed a disgust for their son. and unfortunately, theres a curse in a lot of dysfunctional households where if the parents hate one of the kids, then the siblings grow to hate that kid as well. source: experience, unfortunately. so his siblings wouldn't play with him, acknowledge him unless they had to, etc

-> he essentially grew up raised by some of the servants of the house. he had no real friends because he was homeschooled because his parents felt like it would tarnish their reputation if invisibill went out in public.

-> so yeah. fuck invisibills parents. the reason he talks in 3rd person a lot is because he was trying to bond with his family over their hatred of him. "invisibill sure does suck! i wish we didn't have to deal with him." yeah it was a dissociation method

-> he got his powers bc he was so alone and wished he was invisible.

-> but hey!! he's better now!! as soon as he was able to, he moved as far away from his family as he could. he ended up in fair city, and started his transition there. a couple years later he went to villain school so he could do something with his life, and thats present day!!

-> now he is a HUGE people pleaser and stuff, but that's another headcanon for another day. yeah he needs attention because he was so incredibly deprived of it and now that he's not living with his parents, he can just ask/beg for it.

-> he's autistic, and it went entirely untreated as a child. no therapy, no diagnosis, no nothing. getting diagnosed as an adult was really really important to him. his parents were some of those bitches who couldnt handle having an autistic child. gross asses. i wish they just. didnt have kids.

-> he grew up not being allowed to stim a lot bc he was told not to. so to compensate he is just a silly little lad now.

-> his dad is one of those dudes who owns like. a really big corporation. his mom is a really famous actress. all of the other children in the house got offered jobs in the company and some even had extensive acting lessons, but invisibill? nothing lol.

-> whenever i actually name all of his family members and shit it is OVER for you bitches. the insanity of an invisibill kinnie.

-> bonus headcanons bc i feel like i need some happy ones to level this. angst fest out. blhg has a really, REALLY sweet family. they essentially take in invisibill as their own. yeah he's their son-in-law bc of blhg but they treat him like he's more than just part of the family via marriage. they genuinely love him so much and like seeing him happy.

-> blhg's mom is a hairdresser!

-> they two of them are super supportive of their son's job. they think it's cool as hell to be a villain. they even provide financial support to the boys when things are kinda hard. in return, blhg and invisibill give them some of their stuff they steal ^^

-> each of them has one big hand! meaning that if they ever met invisibill's parents they'd absolutely wreck their shit. get their ass mom and dad.

ok enough rambling for now but yeah . invisibill my sweet little guy. he is so friend.

[pizzaboat]

I keep forgetting that I didn't really get "early intervention" for my autism. The people responsible for helping me were too lazy for that.

I just got ostracised and encouraged to start masking heavily, so by the end of primary school I would begin to panic in first year, and develop a good mask in second year that had all the adults questioning my diagnosis

"They don't look autistic! You did such a good job on them! They're so smart and impressive! Definitely fit for university!"

Me developing real insecurities: oh yeah, it's all coming together..!

And like, I'm crashing now, just a bit. And it's weird, cause I really did start liking things I didn't like at all to fit in with my peers. Mainly the girls cause they wouldn't sexually harass me in my experience.

They were bitchy, but that's just kids being immature kids.

And like, clothes, make up, hair shit all that. I have an appreciation for it because of all that, but it's not entirely me (i appreciate it but thats not how I'd express my gender identity)

And masking is what made it hard for me to realise I was trans until I was 16 and I happened to stumble across some Sam Collins videos on YouTube and I got VERY invested in the process of transitioning ftm..

(its also important to note i was away from any social conditioning and was doing less internalising cause I didnt have to mask anymore and also my dysphoria was getting SUPER bad.)

And I wasn't that blind and I started questioning why my dreams about being born AMAB took a weight off my chest, no joke intended.

It's indescribable, like, it feels like taking off someone else's skin and stepping into my own.

Like, I can finally stop pretending to be someone else..? I'm myself and not what others tell me I need to be or am.

There's certainly an element of body horror to it. It would be like if a cis man woke up with a vagina tomorrow–He'd shit himself. And if he were forced to live as a woman he'd kill himself.

Transphobes use that kind argument to say we're insane for wanting to transition, because having anything other than their own hormone levels and genitals, and pronouns sounds disgusting and horrific to them.

But what they don't get is what they're feeling at that concept of a change is gender dysphoria.

We experience that imagined horror every day of our lives and it's not a hypothetical we can walk away from after. It's inescapable for alot of us. And for some of us we internalise it.

I internalised it while masking my autism until it tore me asunder at 16 and I kept nearly having mental break downs when people tried to enforce that I was a pretty girl.

I've spent my entire life pretending to be something else, and someone else for other people. I've pretended to have a different neurotype so people will treat me as a peer and equal, in conversations and relationships because the alternative is just shit.

And I've pretended to be a cis girl cause it tied in with my internalisation and masking and feeling like a freak, or that I was inherently broken.

I did everything back then to be liked. That was the goal. My cultures environment doesn't encourage being different. Not if you wanna survive.

So yeah. I think my autism and transness linked up together to make one hell of a cocktail.