#but good REM sleep!!

[cruel-angel]

ALL DAY I DREAM ABOUT SEX

[ssametanass]

mimagau if?

[varilien]

and nobody will, nobody can, take it away this time he’s gotta feel good before he dies

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3

[spaciebabie]

you know you primo fucking exhausted when you settle down for a nap/sleep and you wake up and have drooled all over your pillow

[lemongogo]

rem is such a wonderful character to me , because in many ways she is Flawed , she Is culpable for what happened to tessla , and she struggles in how she raises knives & vash but . at the end of the day i think she did all that she could have done in a very human way. that is , complicated , messy, and not without fault. but she tries and she learns and she strives to be better for the twins .. i like that she’s not the martyred or idealized person vash often remembers her as . like she wouldve been SOO boring had she been like that fr yk HAJAH . & obviously knives and vash arent obligated to feel any type of way ab her after the reveal, but the way that she doesnt expect their forgiveness and instead bows her head and apologizes. explains everything they need to know, lets them process their anger and grief , and provides the only comfort she knows how for someone thrust into motherhood only a year prior. it makes me think of the chapter title thats like , “let us walk the path to redemption” . sooo very rem to me T_T ..

[a-continuous-cutting-motion]

[allbeendonebefore]

on the one hand the millennial fear of computers becoming an increasingly unrecognizable hellscape every time you agree to update but on the other hand the millennial fear of your parents trying to "save" a dying computer by never shutting down or restarting it for weeks and getting shocked that it's still losing functionality like!!!!!!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

That pic made me cry suguru is so 😐😐 to me I think suguru and Gojo would be jealous of your plushies but for different reasons like when you wake up with either of them you dont have your plushie anymore, but for suguru it’s cause he tosses it to the floor and then Gojo ends up taking it halfway through the night and you wake up to him cuddling it instead he’s unreal

PHDJDHDH THIS IS KILLING ME REM……. no one understands stsg like u do i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again 😭😭😭 THEY’RE SO SILLYYYY sugu has zero sympathy for the plushies i think he’s such a possessive little man…. not in a toxic way to be clear but like. why would you hug a plushie when his soft pillowy chest is RIGHT there 🤨❓probably glares at the plushies when you’re holding them lmao HE’S SUCH A POUTY BABY 🥺🥺….

AND SATORU….. oh my goddd that’s so perfect 😭😭 i feel like he does it just to give you a taste of your own medicine at first but then he’s like… oh….. this little plushie is so soft….. oh…… it’s kinda nice to cuddle……….. and now suddenly you have to fight your silly little bf for the custody of your own plushies 🤨🤨 he calls himself their papa and everything. claims that he has a right to cuddle them bc he ”carried them for nine months himself”… sigh. he’s annoying but he’s too cute to get mad at. imagine him all sleepy hugging a fluffy sheep plushie :((( he’s just a little baby!!

obviously the solution here is just to have a big ol cuddle pile with plushies and blankets and entangled limbs <33 and luckily for you that’s satoru’s favorite thing ever!!! :33 …. gl with sugu tho LMAO he is NOT befriending your plushies… they’re his enemies…. (mightttt be more lenient if the plushie you’re cuddling is one he got you himself… just pull out the puppy dog eyes and tell him that you like hugging it bc it reminds you of him and he’ll get all mushy. he’s a Loserboy at heart <3)

[iknowshocker]

todays going to be a day huh

[chelseasdagger]

i just saw the most beautiful act of love. gonna be sappy in the tags real quick :’)

[why-bless-your-heart]

👍

[olli-online]

morning. also guys. ithink the chronic nightmares r over ljke i still get some but its not every night anymore and im not waking up 3 times

[cosmicrhetoric]

life is a beautiful and varying tapestry

[findthecomfortwithin]

Good night moon

[himblebo]

Listen getting a Marriott credit card and staying in a comfortable hotel when I travel for my independent contract work is one of the nicest things I’ve ever done for myself