#but god i love cheese <3 (lactose intolerant)

[indecisive-dizzy]

Bedtime has been interrupted by Hungry (and my inbox, im gettin to that-)

sigh i love food combos that may sound odd but aren't.

[legend-as-old-as-time]

All for the organic'd off shoot food hcs <3 i went way overboard <3 help <3

Kopaka: more curious about tastes than eager to eat, he collects them kind of like cards. Big fan of fatty meat of any kind, will devour it without even noticing. Not that big on vegetables

Pohatu: would eat cardboard if vaguely salted. Has a fondness for anything vaguely dumpling- or pie-like, and he likes offering bites to others before scarfing the whole thing down his throat

Gali: same as Pohatu, though she prefers veggies and fish and seafood and slugs and algae and bite sized fruits like grapes or berries. Shes really likes jello for some reason too

Onua: same as Pohatu and Gali but hes more of a bread and potatoes guy. Can and will carve out a pumpkin with his bare hands and eat it in one sitting if left unsupervised

Lewa: finally someone NORMAL about food!! Prefers slimy things like mushrooms and eels or juice-heavy fruit, but otherwise will try a bit of everything. Likes stuff fried or steamed

Tahu: very sensitive to consistency, too soft foods trigger his gag reflex. Likes nuts, raw veggies, insects, crayfish, lobsters, crabs, burnt stuff... Not as resistant to spices as you'd think

Jaller: the Capsaicin Conqueror, bites into ghost peppers unscathed. Soup savorer, with time will be able to whip out broths that could make Vakama Metru forgive himself

Hahli: mussels!! Oysters!! Clams!! Sea urchins!! Squids!! Octopi!! Big noodle slurper who canNOT handle sauce. She will get it Everywhere. Enjoyer of endives and hater of seasonings

Nuparu: genuinely cannot handle chewing so aside form jello everything needs to be blended into a smoothie. He slams back concoctions that would make a Makuta shiver. Taste is optional

Hewkii: could eat through the cheese caves if released within them. Hates seafood but everything else is fair game. Has tried Nuparu's horrible smoothies and survived several times

Kongu: texture is a big factor and he cant handle too slimy or too fatty things bc of this. Likes acidic or bitter flavors, sauces, dried fruit, and bugs. Refuses to eat poultry

Matoro: the concept of "doomed by the narrative" be damned my boy can hunt game and work a grill

Whenua: slurper of worms... Big fan of turnips for some reason. Its hard for him to find anything he doesnt like really

Nuju: loves poultry and butter and fish and berries and nuts... Stews... Creamy soups... God he loves eating. He could do it for hours

Vakama: vegetables and small game, cooked underground or boiled. Eats spiders by reflex for reasons you can imagine

Matau: LOVES poached eggs. Herbs n spices n fruits are his favorite. Unusual meats for him, like frogs and lizards

Nokama: will bite through any shell and bone no problem. Discovers a taste for bone marrow. Very picky with vegetables

Takanuva: if it were up to him he would eat only sweet things. lactose intolerant. Will that stop him from scarfing down gallons of cream? No babey!!!

Thank you! And thhose are neat headcanons!!

[theboysfromaustin]

I am a very dignified writer.

----

June 3, 2004

Ian bit his lip, tapping his pen on the list, wondering how much produce he could buy that he and Kazuo could actually eat before it went bad.  Kazuo brushed against him, catlike.  This was their first trip to Central Market together, and he was trying to get actual food for Kazuo, who self-admittedly, had grown up eating cold canned goods and gas station roller grill items.

Ian was happy to have Kazuo.  He felt younger, more invigorated.  They were in love, that was the simplest way to put it.  Kazuo leaned on the cart, “It's weird to eat fresh veggies ‘n fruit.” “You'll feel better if you eat fresh food.  It's nice to cook for more than just myself and Maureen.” “You're an excellent chef.  You spoil me.”

Ian smiled, absorbing the praise.  Praise from Kazuo was high praise.  He loved his scrappy, young partner.  He began to pick through the massive selection of apples, Kazuo's hand lingering on his hip.  He got engrossed in the selection, not noticing Kazuo slip away.  What he did notice quite quickly was…

The smell.

He sniffed, lip curling, looking around.  He did notice now that Kazuo had disappeared.

Conveniently.

Little bastard.

He did notice the people around him were now staring. In horror. In disgust. He felt a creeping blush overtaking his face and neck, and he went into defensive mode, “I…I, um…that wasn't…”  He stammered, sweat beading on his brow.

A baby began to cry, unable to comprehend the horror of the creeping stench.

“My…my boyfriend is…lactose…int…” His face was crimson now.  People were shaking their heads as they fled the area.  A man entered from the other side, stopped, and turned around.  “I..I didn't…Kazuooooooo…..” He groaned.  Great.  Now he was the token smelly guy.  He trudged forward, head low, trying to find his evil, stinky bastard boyfriend.

In the bakery, Kazuo leaned on a bread display, giggling like a total idiot.  Ian was very polite about his lactose intolerance.  Hell, they were getting into an at-home rapport of completely immature jokes, which delighted him.  He knew Ian would come to find him.  He felt bad, but he knew Ian would find the humor in it.  Ian put on a dignified and serious front for work, but they'd only been together intimately for a couple days, and last night Ian had fallen asleep with his head on Kazuo's chest, and at some point, violently farted them both awake.

They'd both nearly pissed themselves laughing.  That's how he knew Ian was the one - a gentle, sexy, wildly intelligent lawyer who looked like the lovechild of Sam Waterston and Dermot Morgan, but who also had the sense of humor of a fourth grader?  Perfection.

Ian grabbed Kazuo under one arm, and unceremoniously dropped him into the cart, “Come on, stinky.” “Hi.” “You're mean.” “I had a bad childhood.” “Your stank made a baby cry.  A BABY.” “How many points is that?” Ian made a strangled, choking sound as he tried not to laugh, “Ah, Christ.  I think we need to leave before they have to fumigate.” “I crave milk.” “Fuck no.” “Cheese?” “I'm going to stick you in a freezer.”

Kazuo leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Ian's chest, “It was funny.” “It wasn't.” Kazuo looked up.  Ian was staring dead ahead.  If he looked at Kazuo, he would laugh, and Kazuo would win and continue his reign of terror.  Kazuo reached up, placing his hands on Ian's cheeks.  “You smell.” “You don't mind.” “God knows why.  I'm buying soy milk.” “You wouldn't.”

“Called my bluff.  Can't stand that shite.” “Haha.” “Hush,” Ian snickered, relenting and kissing his head, “You're cute.” “I know.” “Humble! Enough bravado for seventeen people.” “Can we go back to the fruit section?” “That's probably a bad idea.” “I love you, sweet boy.” “I love you too.  You're my stinky weirdo,” Ian ruffled Kazuo's hair.

Their relationship was new, but it was also weird and extremely loving - different from all the others he'd been in.  As weird as Kaxuo was…

Ian was willing to do anything for him.

[stevebabey]

ruby!!! i wrote a lil concept about this a few days ago but steve is lactose intolerant and he genuinely forgets. like he had an entire cheese board assuming that he’d take tums later and he forgets that he ran out of tums so he had a tummy ache all night sjfbsbdbbs

IVY U LOVE MAKING MY BOY SUFFER!!! ur so right though, he's a lil rich boy so his parents just bought him all the expenny products that don't hurt his tummy and he grew up for like. 15 years and didn't realise that he was being fed special df cheese until tommy ordered pizza for them over at his house and so it wasn't steve's usual place that just knows his order and steve was like :( dude i think i've got a stomach bug :( like this idiot just DOESNT KNOW and yeah, alright, he figures it out from then and knows he can have some dairy but not like an entire cheese pizza to himself. there are limits okay, steven? u can't just eat ur little cheese heart out sadly - well technically he can if he takes some medication after

so instead of picking a different food, he relies on tums and still knowing this, he decides to make a little cheeseboard for you guys for a date. he's a sweetheart okay, he just really likes chopping up all the stuff and arranging it all nicely on the board and honestly, that's what half the effort is!! because steve just grabbed cheeses based on the labels :) he's like this one is a heart shaped!! i had to get it- and this one had nice green packaging :) i dunno what they taste like but we'll find out :) what a goober <3 but after some gorging on surprisingly delicio cheese -- not the heart shaped one :( that one you both tried and went bleh! and steve was actually really ticked off that it looked so nice but tasted so gross -- you're both just wrapped up w each other on the couch, watching a film but not really cos ur just happy to be tangled up with each other

and then u hear it, the beginnings of a groan, some warbled rumble under your hands that are tucked around his middle. steve at least has the decency to look a little sheepish as he smiles down at you bcos you told him this would happen and he still went ahead and bought n ate all that cheese anyway. he wriggles out of ur hold and is like, 'just be a minute, okay honey?' and gives u a little a kiss on your forehead nd ducks upstairs to grab some tums. except of course, there isn't any and he finished them last time he decided to ignore his tummy in favour of delicious dairy.

so just as your finally tuning into the film, u hear the most pathetic little baaaaaby from the doorframe and when u look over your shoulder, he's hunched over a bit, arms wrapped around his middle lookin a little sad :( and you're like ohmygod steve bcos you! knew! this would happen! but you just open your arms and honestly, for a split second you seriously consider if he's done this all on purpose just to get coddled

so when he's all bundled up best you can (he's a big boy okay, u being the big spoon doesn't make sense most the time) u press a kiss into his shoulder and say a little cheeky, 'you know u can just ask to be the little spoon,' you hum, dotting little kisses along the slope of his neck while your hands slip under his shirt, giving him a soft lil tummy rub and steve honest to god keens just a bit, a soft content noise slipping out his throat as he relaxes back into you, even as u continue 'you don't gotta eat silly foods you know your stomach can't handle just for a tummy rub bub' and he gets a little grumbly like 'i liked the cheese too' but definitely doesn't deny what you're saying hehe <3 but u know what? u get to give extra good cuddles to your boyfriends cute tummy so it's a win-win situation

[greeds]

CREAMY SWEET POTATO CARROT COCONUT SOUP (WITH AGED CHEDDAR BC I LOVE CHEESE SORRY)

1 sweet potata, diced

3 big ass carrots, chopped

1/2 tomata, diced

1/2 white onion, diced

2 large garlic cloves, minced (or chopped if ur like me and dont care enough to mince lord its so hard)

cooking oil so ur veggies dont stick to the pan + pot!

2 cups water (i think. i lost count help)

1 tbsp of veggie bouillon (i think! LOL)

1 400ml can coconut milk

handful of kale, roughly chopped

cheddar cheese, sliced thin for easy melting (omit if lactose intolerant sux 2 b u bruv)

spices: turmeric, cumin, paprika, nutmeg, dried parsley, salt, black and white pepper bc why not idek the difference between them man (sorry i dont measure this shit u gotta figure it out urself. fuck it we eyeball)

NOTE: if u dont have a BZZZ BZZZ handheld thingy to blend the soup at the end u might wanna chop n dice everything super fine so that its easier to "blend" by hand. we want this soup CREAMY. UNIFORM. GLORIOUS. SMOOTH IN UR MOUTH.

---

first ur gonna wanna take ur sweet potata and ur carrots and roast them a bit on medium-low heat. i did this in a pan bc i have an aversion to ovens i just hate waiting also that shit gets so hot help girl im scared! anyway u do this so it can be very soft and easy to blend in the pot, or not crunchy if u dont wanna blend ig

when the potata n carrot r soft, sautee the onion a lil bit in the pot on medium heat, then add in the garlic for another lil bit

once thats done add the potata and the carrot to the pot with ur water and veggie bouillon! also the tomata lol almost forgot her. add ur spices, mix, turn that shit up medium-high, put a lid on the pot n let it hang out

idk after like 5-10 min add the can of coconut milk, make sure to shake well. stir that shit up, it should be a beautiful turmeric yellow! let it simmer for however long ud like lol idk how this stuff works. another 5-10 min seems safe

when the soup is lookin good, BZZ BZZ blend it babey! give it a lil taste to make sure u added enough spices, and put some more if needed

add the cheddar cheese (or omit if god nerfed u at birth) and kale and turn off the fire. stir until the cheese is melted

taste the soup and again, if its lackin in flaveur add whatever da hell u want to it! chili powder is delishes with it, but my brother would die if i made it spicy so i added that to my bowl after

---

UM i added some cornstarch sometime after i put in the coconut milk bc i wanted it to be thicker, ig another solution would be to use more veggies! i only had 1 sweet potata and didnt wanna overwhelm the soup with carrot so this is how it went for me

served with buttered bread <3

[the-midnight-cow]

1, 4, 5, 7, 13, 14, 16, 18, 25, 26?

1: 3 tacos (tho I wish they let you only order two) soft shell with carnitas, cheese, black beans, white rice, guacamole

4: phoenix!!! that shit def is more normal than some animals that do exist

5. ohhhhh god I cannot choose uhhhh probably mashed, as long as they're done well? potatoes are my favorite food ever I love them in all forms

7. the little guys that you can pet!!! the flat ones!!! idk what they're called!! also seals or sea lions or anything like that

13. stealing super expensive clothes from shops

14. sometimes? I try to drink enough water but I do fail sometimes (today was a prime example)

16. MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! favorite fr

18. matcha milk tea (almond milk bc lactose intolerance </3) with tapioca pearls!!! I will also settle for jasmine green milk tea, or any citrus fruit bubble tea!

25. no, for the most part, but I love my taste!!!!!!! (everyone go listen to Tommy Lefroy) my taste is mostly basic af and scattered but I love it fr

26. bitch. you know exactly what my spice tolerance is. (zero)

ask game

[squirms-mckenzie]

🌷💞✨ answer with 3 random facts about yourself, then send this to 10 other people (only if you want to, no pressure!)🌷💞✨

answering this a million years late because I'm depressed!!!!!

but here's ya facts:

1) i love movies, I'm on letterboxd a lot

2) i have 15 tattoos (i think?? Maybe 16??)

3) macaroni and cheese is my fav food but I'm lactose intolerant. it's hard to be gods least favorite.

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI! I FINALLY HAVE TIME! VERY TIRED BEEN UP SINCE 7 BUT REALLY WANNA READ AND LIVEBLOG CAUSE I MISS THAT SHIT

also I think I might be lactose intolerant? but I only get really fucking bad headaches, nausea and the like from milk but am pretty okay with other dairy products and it...oh wait no ice cream and yogurt also make me sick after I pass a certain limit and is this why cheese makes my stomach feel weird sometimes? okay theory, I am not TOO lactose intolerant. main problem is milk and the rest I can have in limits. makes sense.

also HOW ARE YOU?? I'VE BEEN SO SWAMPED WITH THINGS THAT I'VE SPENT MOST NIGHT SO DRAINED AND DEAD IT'S CRAZY.

BUT I DID CATCH UP ON IALS AND READ THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS OF LBAF.

alright! CHAPTER 4!!

david loml it'll be fine...probably idk man I am really scared for y'all

Alright random person...I will fight you in an abandoned parking lot for this DO NOT DO THIS SHIT

David :((

First I cry over IALS mavid...now I have to cry over lbaf mavid. what is this happening

DAVID! NO DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!

also there's this thing called Communication. Not sure y'all have heard of it though. Lmk if you need a dictionary :)

to the fucker attacking the institute, motherfucker I will literally push you off a building

maybe it's someone who wants him to not be the head of the institute for whatever reason?

Anyway Anjali so hot so efficient would literally die for her

david you good bro? God I love it when the kind ones go feral

no but srsly you good? Well no but like...Im worried. For his health. David :((

“Ask for help,” she said again. “And if you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break.”

QUEEN SHIT

“Revenge means you are being harmed in return for the suffering you’ve caused,” Anjali told him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You did the right thing. So, even if it is Asmodeus, this isn’t revenge. This is an attack, David. And I intend to put an end to it.”

God I love it when women

the picture I WILL SOB DO NOT DO THIS TO ME

Them :((

“Why do people call me baby boy or baby girl?” David wondered out loud.

AJHSHUIDC JACE

petition to only call david baby boy or baby girl from now on

I've been watching The Crown (it took me three days to get through episode 1 but let's not talk about that) so I am literally hearing all the dialogues in with an english accent. It's...something

Some people drank alcohol to relax. David drank tea.

Bitch same.

I've lately fallen in love with Earl Gray. I drink it while I'm studying. I sit down at my desk with my tea and only then do I get to work. Helps me focus and keep my anxiety at bay. Good shit.

same energy as me realising how quickly I had been going through my tea. I...I've been way too stressed lately too, hon. NOT THIS WEEKEND THOUGH HHAHA

he would love a cake <3

oh to have someone buy me overpriced magic chocolate

DARK?? HUH

prince...?

WJAT IS HAPPENING WOMAN EXPLAIN

that's so romantic though 🥺

LEVI?? TIS YOU??

in my relating a bit too much to david era kjkcuhud

Bitch I know you're stressed as fuck so like?? TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?? Srsly, shit's really hard rn for you and it's gonna get harder. Take a nap or something

“Mon ange,” David chuckled and pointed at the screen. “He went back in time and is literally trying to sleep with his own mother.”

I AM SORRY, WHO IS DOING WHAT NOW

NOT NOW! FUCK NO!

not the ICE CREAM

also yeeeeeeeeeee camilaaaaaaaaaa

david and anjali wedding CRYING SOBBING SHAKING LOOK AT THEM

that's a really long proposal dude you're not writing an essay

 “My fave power couple is getting hitched. Do it soon!”

Live footage of me

omg the talk with the parents huduifuifugiugf

I love rafe so muvh omg

anjali truly the best person out there

THEM OH MY GOD THEM

I am so soft rn no one talk to me

Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.

SOBBING

they're so amazing I could cry

how bout I punch Kingsley

Oooo marcus

marcus is kinda cool though. I'll probably not like him by the end of this but still

what...what is he working on

what the fuck you on dude?

i love camila so much

damn girl!!

oh marcus...Yeah I remember now what he was doing...

ah yes, the seashell

cool motives but like...that's not gonna happen

we don't live in a perfect world bud. exploitation and prejudice are the first two words that come to my mind when I think of his thoughts becoming a reality.

He didn’t like it when Mallory was in a bad mood. He wanted her to be happy.

Mal in a bad book ends horribly for every person she has ever interacted with

DON'T SMOKE

I was watching The Crown and George is LIKE SICK AS FUCK MAN IS DYING LEAVING BEHIND A DAUGHTER NOT PREPARED FOR THE CROWN JUST YET AND HE'S SMOKING. Sir you just went through a surgery to remove one of your lungs?? you have cancer?? You're coughing up blood?? AND YOU'RE SMOKING!!!

"I know," she smiled at him. "My destiny is Max."

Oh no...I will stab :)

“I’ll ask Jeff to ready the jet,” he smiled at her.

The...what...that is so bad for the environment dude I'm pretty sure there is a beach in New York...I forgot how rich they were for a second there...Taylor swift core

Sometimes...you just wanna get stabby with someone...the someone is two someones...

If they do something to Anjali...

Sigh

AYY IT'S SELENA AND GIGI

AND LEXI

lexi...I love you so much but please...just talk to liv about this

YOU CAN'T DO SHIT LIKE THIS OH MY GOD

lexi YOU CAN FUCKING FLY

I will repeat advice I gave in part 2 (?). Fly there, tell her, fly away.

:)

gabriel and selena >>>>

“Relationship drama waits for no one,” Selena huffed. “Besides, stop making excuses, Lex. Just do it.”

putting off stuff like this makes it so SO much worse lex.

LIV AND LEX ARE SO AMAZING

OH I HAVE A STORY

We threw a farewell for someone right? and that day my friends and I were all sitting together and one of us had a permanant marker so like rational people, we wrote on our hands. I wasn't sure what to write but then I remembered seeing an anon say that their shipname should be lixi so that is what ended up going on the place underneath my thumb. You know where you can feel the bone? I wrote "Lixi" right there. Nice day that was.

which reminds me I need to make plans for my birthday next week with my friends-

ANYWAY

No amount of biceps or boobs will distract her today.

me to me every morning

and I love you guys <33

The man went to Idris to talk to the Inquisitor.

Good luck and god bless!

SCREAMING

Lexi stared at the numbers. It gave her a fucking headache

Me in maths everyday.

My math test went so well today I got everything right EXCEPT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO SOLVE THE LAST PART OF THE LAST QUESTION I HAD THE TIME I SIMPLY DID NOT REMEMBER TO SOLVE IT FURTHER I WILL THROW MYSELF FROM A CLIFF

ahem

“Wait,” Lexi said. “Are you saying these are not demon attacks?”

Imma get the knives

Lexi was going to help Gabriel figure this out. She was going to find out who was hurting her brother like this.

Hurting him with paperwork!

And she was going to kick their ass!

AHHUKDCUIFV HELL YEAH LEX

lots of blob thingies

“Have you guys seen shadow demons? They’re the demons of Lucifer.”

foreshadowing

I am sorry they materialized WHERE

grabriel is so cool omg

THE SONG CHOICE YES

She was talking about some issue with the warlocks in LA not being able to use magic

foreshadowing

lexi NO METAPHORS PLEASE

Lex I told you not to go with metaphors...sigh

this is really entertaining though.

LMAOO LEXI PLEASE-

Oh. OH DISCOVERY

Shit. white...who's magic is white?

FUCKING HELL

and on this note a very good night I can't wait to sleep. LOVE YOU!

Evieeeee. I missed your live blogs so much 😭😭😭

Here is a meme that perfectly captures my reaction to it

I like the live blog too akskskssm but the random gossip 😍😍😍

Your Lexi energy is unmatched 😎

[bugcatcherwill]

So it is canon rezek can eat fish I was wondering due to it doesn’t really like the smell of meat

I can just seen totk ashen with tulin only for ashen (who is now at that age equivalent to eat foods warm/hot just have a mild lactose intolerant affect to it and spice) to eat some spicy made with extra spicy pepper goron mix curry which was actually tulin’s and tulin grabbing a jar of milk and bread for ashen as it flew around the steaming from the mouth due to the spice screaming: hothothothot! Then landing back at tulin who is screaming: quick drink and eat this! And gives ashen the bread and milk and him feeling bad as he accidentally took ashen’s curry which had cheese on it and really no spice, but his had cheese too so they got mixed up.

Ashen then suffered the dreaded from eating too spicy food hiccup burps for a hour but other wise was fine after drinking 3 more jars of milk and a other small loaf of bread.

Oh my god that's such an adorable prompt I love the Ashen/Tulin interactions y'all are sending me :)

But yes I guess it's "canon" that Rezek can eat fish. To it, it's different enough from the smell of meat since its ick towards meat revolves around more mammal-based meat

[msmoondust]

|| TWST OC Profile: Morpheus Null ||

Name: Morpheus Null

Nickname(s): Dragon Slug (by Floyd); Monsieur l'Instigateur/Roi du Chaos (by Rook)

Age: 18

Birthday: February 26

Star Sign: Pisces

Height: 5'11

Homeland: Isle of Lamentation

Family: Father (Status Unknown), Uncle, Two Brothers (Triplets), Two Sisters

Dorm: Ignihyde

School Year: Third Year

Class: 3-E

Occupation: Student

Club: Science Club

Best Subject: Alchemy

Dominant Hand: Right

Hobby: Raving in his room

Dislikes: Perfume

Favorite Food: Chicken Alfredo Pasta

Least Favorite Food: Raisin Bread

Special Skill: Hacking

Unique Magic: Oneiroi Guise

Morpheus is a young man often described as someone who lives for the thrill of chaos and uncertainty. Most students avoid him due to his father's background and status or his methods of withering his boredom. However, some do gain the courage to approach him when it comes to his tempting offers or perplexing personality. Although he is rather chaotic, Morpheus thoroughly enjoys hanging around those he deems fun to mess around or jest. He's actually not too dangerous as he is banned from taking certain actions for unknown reasons. Still, it's advised to keep him in a somewhat good mood as it is rumored bad luck ensues when he's crossed. But that is only rumors. Morpheus unfortunately loves to instigate and is rather sadistic when it comes to fooling others. He is pretty smart, but the thing is, he'll sometimes just begrudgingly do his homework. To add on to that, he won't ever do anyone a favor unless he gets something in return. Overall, Morpheus is an odd one; some can't even figure out if they should take him seriously or not. He acts peculiar but he is extremely capable of handling situations with ease either with honeyed words or taking matters in his own hands.

Trivia

• I'm rather perplexed at how much I've developed him; since I was originally just going to have him be twisted from Bill Cipher (yes, I know) but then I just gave him bits of references to the God who he's named after (and a bit of the Sandman because I love unnecessary details to my OCs just for the fun of it) because I just love the sleep, dream, and night related Gods— So yeah, majority of his personality is twisted from Bill Cipher with hints and slight influences of habits twisted from the Greek God Morpheus.

• Morpheus is actually lactose intolerant but still eats his favorite food and drinks milkshakes. He's been given lactose free cheese and milkshakes whenever possible.

• His father (and his family in general) is actually feared in some parts of the Isle of Lamentation, so Morpheus was faced with some criticism upon first coming to NRC. There are even people whispering about his father but he didn't care. However, that doesn't mean he'll let them bad mouth his father without some form of warning.

• Morpheus actually lives with his uncle as his father disappeared under mysterious circumstances, leaving him under the care of his uncle.

• He's partially blind from his left eye after an incident, which links to why he's banned from doing certain things.

• Owns an online shop and usually hangs around the dark corner of the halls to sell snacks or notes because he's weird like that. He'll even do the same with asking for study help because he can't ask like a normal person.

• Always manages to get the first dibs when he pre orders certain items and this pisses off Idia so much.

• For some odd reason, when he's not being mischievous, he's sleeping all day in his room and some Ignihyde students wonder if they're imagining the soothing smell that comes from his room. It's extremely odd since he seems so active and this urge to sleep comes to him as he states he needs to go back to his dorm.

• That might come from the fact that he does give off very relaxing vibes when he's using those honey coated words, almost as if your worries are melting away.

[violets-secondes]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity ✨💛🌻

I APPRECIATE YOU <3

MY LOVE IM SO SORRY I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WAS AN ASK JDKSNSKDKSJJD I THOUGHT IT WAS A REBLOG AND GLOSSED OVER IT

1) clothes straight the dryer. if it was a sin, may god never grant me salvation.

2) 💐 🌺 🌸 🌹 flowers <3

3) YOU!!!!

4) cheese. bitches with lactose intolerance stay winning bc a lil bit of dairy won’t keep them from the divine and I respect that

5) tmw you finish consuming a really great piece of media and immediately look for ff on it AND FIND SOME 🤌🏼🤌🏼

@irlywantramenrn ily bby I’m so so so so sorry this is so late 💀💀💀

[moonlit-han]

stray kids’ reactions to you being lactose intolerant ↠ all members

genre: reaction, fluff word count: 1.7k warnings: descriptions of intestinal discomfort due to lactose intolerance, mention of alcohol request: yes

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

↠↞

bang chan

as much as he’d try, chan wouldn’t be able to dissuade you from consuming lactose

by the tenth time he found you eating ice cream on the couch with a blissful expression painted across your face

he gave up

pure and simple

he just makes sure to stay out of your way once you were done

your slightly pained noises as you feel gurgle-y and bloated distress him

but what can he do?

although, after a while chan starts buying lactase enzyme for you

and, if you’re having something like cereal, simply adding it to the milk cartons you bought

bc, for some reason, you refuse to buy almond or soy milk

or even milk with lactase already added to it

chan experiences a fairly constant, low level of exasperation with you

never enough to influence your relationship

but he’s definitely perfected the internal eye roll

one day, chan decided that when he did the shopping or took you shopping

he’d try to get as many things lactose-free as he could

sometimes, this means you almost get into tussles in the market

but at least he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart

and then again, those tussles usually mean that you get

all

the

snuggles

at home (while begging for actual lactose-bearing items)

but chan thinks snuggles are just as good as ice cream

and after dating for a year and a half,

you’re inclined to agree

lee minho

also exasperated 

but then again, he manages to convince you to relinquish your ice cream, milk, cheese, yoghurt, etc. far more often than chan ever could

maybe it was his experience with wrestling things from his cats

minho has a habit of simply stealing your food while you were eating it so you couldn’t consume all of it

somehow, you still haven’t caught on

probably because he always steals your food

even if he had his favorite food on his plate,

minho would still manage to beg food from you

extremely cutely~

but your lactose consumption simply bothers him

he tries his best to be understanding

but when you're out together, minho insists

and i mean insists

that you not eat lactose because he doesn’t want to deal with the effects

hell, he doesn’t want to have to deal while you’re at home either

but it’s your life…

minho also teases you when you’re trapped in the bathroom

bc after all, it’s your own damn fault you’re in there

s u f f e r i n g

but again, since he has cats

and knows how they get when they want little licks of ice cream

he also knows that you’ll still do what you want

and has resigned himself to the fact

if he can, he makes sure to get you lactase enzyme

and if not, minho just makes sure you get lots of water after

and gives you some pats on the head

bc you’re just a silly bean

seo changbin

changbin would probably pretend to be upset with you

but would also buy you fancy cheese whenever you got an award for research or a promotion at work or did well on a paper—whatever

and i’m not talking just a normal fancy cheese kind of thing

no

there would be, if you’re of age, lovely wine chosen specifically to go with said cheese

bread

or crackers

maybe even some fruit

oh and olives~

when changbin does something he does it right

so you’ve both kind of accepted that fancy cheese night will always have a dark side

but you don’t complain bc

f a n c y  c h e e s e

changbin’s just really romantic

and wants you to still have that experience

although…

he makes sure to wait a bit before cuddling you

but he’d make sure to help you remember to take lactase enzyme before eating copious amounts of lactose

if you forgot to take it, then he’d be patient as you locked yourself in the bathroom

when you go shopping together, he makes sure you buy lots of lactase

bc he hates seeing you uncomfortable

and then he goes and gets you all the non-dairy things he can find

changbin might

occasionally

……if the mood takes him

tease you

A LOT

but it’s rare and all in good humor

hwang hyunjin

now

this little shit

he WILL tease you

bc “it’s your own damn fault, y/n”

and he’s told you soooooooo many times

and is tired of telling you to

stop!!

Eating!!!

LACTOSE!!!!

but no

you’re never gonna stop

bc cheese and ice cream and proper rice pudding made with all the cream ever

are just too good!!!

*cries*

there’s….

a lot of eye rolling from hyunjin

when he sees you going for the cheese sticks

but then he just sits down beside you

and eats 3

alkfjghsdkjfhg

you’ve been lactose intolerant for long enough

that you know just how much you can eat before

~ disaster strikes~

but most of the time you ignore that threshold

hhhhhhhhhhhh

at least once you’re out of the bathroom

hyunjin just gives you all the cuddles you want

even if he continues to tease you a bit

but for your birthday

he always makes sure to make or get you something that’s lactose-free

but will still be just as delicious as anything :D

han jisung

jisung would feel really sorry for you

and occasionally taunt you by

eating aaaall the foods with lactose in them in front of you

just because he can

but then he’d also learn how to make tofu cheesecake

which is surprisingly good!!

just so you can share the lovely experience of eating cheesecake together

akljdfhgkjdh

((wow sometimes jisung’s really sappy

i don’t make the rules))

but he’d also give you all the cuddles

and then make you tea

so much tea hhhhhh

jisung would have specific tea to help you feel better

and if he sees you starting to eat something with lactose in it while you’re at his place

then he’d make you tea immediately

so it’d be ready when you needed it

and he’d give you lots of little massages

on your tum

and the back of your neck for comfort more than anything else

he’d also always have lactase enzyme at his place

for when you (probably purposefully) forgot to bring it

and if you’re a little bloated or burp a bit

jisung doesn’t really care

bc you’re still cute and lovely

lee felix

like minho, felix would absolutely insist that you not eat lactose while you’re with him

he doesn’t want to control you

or run your life

it’s not like that (and never would be bc  n o  w a y )

but he doesn’t want you to be in pain

or discomfort

hhhhhhhhh

so if you’re living at separate residences,

then he’d make damn sure that he didn’t have any lactose-bearing foods around

at least…. whenever you’re there

he doesn’t want to be the cause for your discomfort

(even if it’s not actually his fault)

he’d also want to learn how to cook all the lactose-free things for you

and actually comes up with some amazing recipes

he also makes sure that if you actually get your hands on lactose-bearing food

then he gives you some sort of food that will

(he hopes, at least)

help combat the effects of the lactose

felix just wants you to

not!

fee!!

horrible!!!

and when you manage to consume lactose around him

sometimes you’re quite sneaky about it

((akljghkljdfgh wow y/n))

he just ~ s i g h s ~

and waits for you to feel better

will also give cuddles and snuggles and head-pets

kim seungmin

while seungmin laughs at your antics

all the time

he still tries to care for you

and make sure you get lactase enzyme

“before you eat that pint of ice cream. oh my god y/n….”

seungmin would simply pat your head as you traipse toward the bathroom

and tell you to turn the fan on

he’s pragmatic, you know?

but then again!

seungmin will be the first person to buy you that really delicious looking bit of food

that has so much lactose in it you don’t know what to do

and then he’ll give you like 8 lactase tablets

and watch you like a hawk as you swallow them all

he tries to make sure you don’t eat lactose too late

bc he likes to go to bed on time

and knows that if you eat something like cheese (even with lactase enzyme)

you’ll be up for longer than you might usually be

bc it’s uncomfortable to go to bed when your belly’s gurgling and you feel a bit like a balloon

after the effects of the lactose finally stop

seungmin holds you

and gives you a small smile

that’s distinctly unimpressed and poorly hiding the fact

that you’re the cutest person he’s ever seen

even if you do insist on being mildly stupid

but doesn’t say anything more

yang jeongin

you know jeongin’s :o look?

where he looks absolutely mortified

and like he’s trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe in under fifteen seconds?

yeah, that look

jeongin gives you that look

every

single

time

you eat something with lactose in it

and then he kinda flips out on you

not in a mean or controlling way or anything

but just;;;;

THE MOST EXASPERATED EVER

and you just sit there

eating your cheese or cereal with milk or four slices of three-cheese pizza or whatever you’ve gotten your hands on this time

with a smirk on your face

like you’re know exactly what you’re doing

and don’t care one lick about it

…….which, if you think about it

is exactly what’s happening;;;

jeongin just shakes his head

and occasionally tries to take the pint (read: tub) of ice cream away from you

it doesn’t work ahahaha

but he still thinks you’re adorable

so he just kisses your nose when you feel horrible

and makes you some noodles or something

just cute, domestic jeongin hours~

[whoopdyprompts]

i open my google document. i type in the first sentence. the second paragraph.

i close the document. i smile at the entry, the first page of my story. the world needs a story about a family getting punished by the seagul feiny for stuffing themselves of sandwiches, while the awesome character, lactose intolerant, eats a cheese pizza with 3x more cheese while waiting for their large milkshake. watching his family drown in their traps as sandwich offerings makes him question if the cheese deities exist.

he goes out to search for the cheese gods, thinking that he has done enough sins to be condemned, all the while balancing his bowel and stomach movements, and asking for help from people of the sandwich town for help (those who keep on mysteriously disappearing).

once he reaches the volcano, where he is about to take a massive shit, the cheese god appears. surprise, it is not a mouse, but the cow himself. the character and the cow have a talk.

he is surprised by the plan of the journey. the challenge was the casualties of his love for cheese. he is told that what separates him from the sandwich town is that the people who ate sandwiches did so because they had the ability to, and in the process of glorifying themselves they have tied their identity solely on what they consume. this milk man, however, has loved cheese despite the downsides. the cheese god, Cow, gives the man the ability to eat cheese without being intolerant to it. he shakes the man's hand, advises him to take care of himself ("please don't consume that much wheels of cheese again. you are a danger to the milk production" "why are you on top of the volcano again? is it like, where people take a sh-" "just go here's your lactose tolerance"). he comes home to an empty sandwich town. after rest of eating the milkshake he had ordered 3 days ago, before the journey, the barista (milkshake man) hands him to him. catchphrase, "guess you didn't have to cry over spilled milk," he says, reference to the joke of the fear the (previously) lactose intolerant man had of not finding the milk god.

plot twist, the reason why there's always cheese was that the Cow cheese god takes the form of the barista, who stays there this whole time. he saw the cheese love of the man, and names it after him. he knows his eating habits though, so he gives him a fitness check. nonetheless, they live a simple life, barista under a hut and a milk man eating cheese (cut down to two wheels of it).

as for the seagul masters, well, let's just say, they didn't survive, ey?

[shoelace-and-friends]

Top 10 BEST chips I’m right you’re wrong

I love love loooooove giving unsolicited opinions on junk food (and just ranking food and drinks in general) so you get to see my chip opinions clog up your dash. I’m in the mood to make a list of potato chips and if you don’t like it too bad for you.  My tastebuds are God and they know what’s up and they must tell their divine word. 

10. Pizza Pringles

I don’t even fuck with other types of Pringles ever since I tried the pizza flavor because I am absolutely convinced that these are the top tier of the Pringles. Pringles gets points for having pretty much the only pizza flavored chips that I know about.  But these still get the 10 spot because tube. I’m a potato chip garbage disposal I need a whole-ass bag of chips. The tube simply aint enough. 

9.  Herr’s Carolina Reaper Cheese Curls

For some reason I’m only ever able to find these at 5 Below??? I’m guessing it’s because these are considered a novelty but they are genuinely really good. They’re not as hot as advertised (Carolina reaper is listed as the very last ingredient and there’s probably barely any of it there) but they still have a kick and do not fuck around. Like, just enough of a kick that these will hurt you but it’s a good kind of pain and worth it if you can handle spice. The flavor is more like a spicy barbecue sauce but it works. If you’re like, super-duper white though and a spice wimp than you probably should sit this one out. 

8.  Hawaiian Sweet Maui Onion

It’s been literal years since I’ve last been able to get my hands on a bag of these but I still remember them because they were that good. They make pretty much any other onion flavored chip their bitch. I’ve been trying to hunt these down but I think only certain kinds of ~hipster~ grocery stores seem to carry them in my area. 

7.  Cheetos (Regular)

A classique. Pretty much anyone whose had these before probably expected them to be on this list. Cheetos are simply iconic. I don’t even need to go in depth here. The original Cheetos are a masterpiece but I’ll be honest they aren’t my favorite Cheeto though.��

6.  White Cheddar Cheetos Puffs

These are my favorite Cheeto. They’re just so....stuff-in-your-mouth-able. The white cheese dust is basically cocaine to me. And they like, melt in your mouth too? Simply Cheetos Puffs more like Simply be my wife. 

5.  Ranch Bugles

Ah yes...little witch hats for the fingies. Bugles are so much fun to eat? They get lots of unique shape points. And big points for the corny, salty flavor. And in my opinion, out of all the ranch flavored convenience store snacks I think Bugles have the better ranch flavor, even more so than Cool Ranch Doritos even. I might make some people mad with that opinion, but I’m right. 

4. Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos

The best Doritos flavor, hands down. Compared to spicy sweet chili, most of the other Dorito flavors seem more one-dimensional. Being both spicy and sweet gives these Doritos a more complex flavor profile. Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch could never. I really like how these have a respectable heat but are still mild enough that you can bigtime binge on them. 

3.  Ruffles Double Crunch Hot Wings

I like these for a similar reason that I like the Doritos. They’re not that spicy but they’re still spicy enough to notice it. A lot of “spicy” snacks out there aren’t really spicy at all because...white people. They actually did get the taste of buffalo sauce on these chips pretty accurate and I was impressed with them. I know that a regular version exists out there, but for some reason I only ever find the double crunch one. But in this case I think the crunch might work in its favor because it holds the flavor better. BTW, ridged chips are superior to smooth chips. 

2.  Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream

The #1 chip in my ranking is usually hard to obtain so when I go chip shopping, Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream is usually my go-to because of how easy they are to find. They’re popular and deserve it because they are everything a chip should be. Crunchy, salty, cheesy, sour creamy....if anyone doesn’t know, I fucking love sour cream and would eat it straight with a spoon if it weren’t for the fact that I’m probably lactose intolerant and it would be seen as insane. Like...Ruffles are shaped like that so you could dip them but these don’t need dip. They already taste like the best dip ever. 

1. Honey Butter Chips 

Not to be Korean on main in my mostly American chip ranking but...these are the best chip. Honey and butter sounds like it wouldn’t work together, much less on a potato chip but holy shit does it work. I’m agnostic but when I eat these chips I see pretty much every God ever believed in or conceived. I need the rest of the world outside of South Korea to start recognizing and getting in on these. Please I’m begging you non-asian people make these chips become trendy the same way y’all did with Pocky. I need these to become more assessable because as of now the only stores that I can find them are the Korean supermarkets across state lines near Chicago that are like two hours away from my house. This in unacceptable. I need them readily available at the nearest Pick N’ Save. Also side note look how sexy this bag is. 

*Before you complain about about Lays not being on this list at all, Lays Sour Cream and Onion would’ve had the 11th spot if it’s any consolation 

*Also to anyone outside the US whose gonna go “How Americentric of you [insert chip from your country] is far superior!!!” mail me some potato chips. I fucking mean it like legitly getting to try foreign potato chips would make me immeasurably happy, but I obviously can’t easily get them here 

[theres-a-goldensky]

32 Reddie Fic Recs

In honor of the joy I feel in finally getting out of this miserably terrible fucking year of my life, I thought I’d do something fun and make up a list of Reddie fic recs, since this has fandom has taken over my life recently. Strap in, friends. This is gonna be a long one.

These recs are in the order in which I read them. 

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

IT chapter 2 list part two - Reddie

Good Omens fic

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All fics are Reddie, all are complete.

** - denotes personal favorite

1. first love / late spring by vowelinthug - ~36,000 words, explicit - They both survive It, but not without some injuries, both physical and psychological. Richie takes Eddie to a secluded cabin to help him recover. And then they accidentally make a podcast. Nice slowburn, a good Richie characterization. I liked the conversations between the two of them, in particular one about Richie’s disdain for shoes that was pitch perfect.

The doctor’s evil eye is on both of them now. “Your friend is gonna be fine. Broken collarbone and a lot of blood loss, but the arm stays on, for now anyway.” Probably at the way Richie sags in relief so hard he groans in pain, the doctor stops looking so severe. “He’s a tough guy. I’ve never seen anyone regain consciousness from that much blood loss just to give me a full medical history.”

“Oh my god,” says Richie, covering his mouth. “I like him so much.”

Bill pats his shoulder in sympathy.

2. the fireworks that go off when you smile by zach_stone - ~10,000 words, teen - Post-movie the adult Losers, including Stan, go on a vacation together. There’s just lots of Richie staring at a wet, shirtless Eddie and pining.

Richie blinks at him, his stomach doing a fucking somersault, pinned under Eddie’s weirdly passionate stare. He swallows another mouthful of beer to stall for time, shifting his gaze away. Spread out before him, the lake looks like flat, black glass. “Jeez, is the risk analyst really telling me to ignore the risks? What’s the world coming to?” he manages to joke.

He expects Eddie to roll his eyes, to huff and lean away again, but he doesn’t. He says, still earnest, “I just think some things are worth the risk.”

And Richie doesn’t know  what  the fuck to do with that. He resolutely tells himself not to puke on Ben and Beverly’s porch, because he thinks if he did it would just be the words  I love Eddie Kaspbrak a hundred times over, all puddled on the slats of wood. He stands up rather abruptly. “I should go to bed,” he says, aware that he’s talking too loud, being too fucking obvious. “I’m jetlagged as fuck. Also maybe a little drunk.”

3. oh, i want the truth to be known by ShowMeAHero - ~7000 words, explicit - Richie sees Eddie die in the deadlights and then manages to save him at the last second, but It skewers him instead. I’m honestly not sure why there isn’t more fic with this premise, because Richie sacrificing his own safety for Eddie and then Eddie losing his shit is absolutely, 100% my jam.

The claw isn’t in Eddie’s chest. Instead, it’s in Richie’s, caught in his side, pinning him to the ground. He chokes on a scream, caught in his throat, and pushes at Eddie, just trying to get them away. He rolls into him, ripping Pennywise’s claw through his side to get away, but once he’s free, he’s scrambling into a half-stumble and dragging Eddie with him until they’re hidden under an outcropping of rock. His side is bleeding, he can feel it, and his entire fucking abdomen hurts, and, for a moment, it’s all he can process.

“Holy shit, Richie,” Eddie exclaims. The pain shuffles to the back of Richie’s mind so he can focus on Eddie instead. He sounds winded, but he’s fucking alive, unhurt and breathing and okay, and Richie huffs a laugh. He’s in so much fucking pain, but he can’t even figure out where it’s all originating from, and the only thought cycling through his brain is it’s okay, he’s okay, Eddie’s okay, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, over and over.

4. we'll be a fine line (we'll be alright)  by buckyjerkbarnes - ~9,000 words, teen - Richie and the other Losers in the hospital after killing It, waiting for news on Eddie. Richie has a bit of a breakdown.

The ambulance ride had been the longest twenty minutes of Richie’s life. He'd tried not to get in the way of the EMTs who worked frantically to keep Eddie alive; who were far more patient with him than Richie likely deserved. By the time they'd rolled up to the emergency entrance at the hospital, Ben stamping his breaks as the rest of the Losers came to a grinding halt not fifteen yards away, Richie was still a sobbing mess. He couldn't see through the cracked lens of his glasses, and when Eddie, who had not opened his eyes or said a word since they were still in the sewers, was about to be wheeled out of sight, Richie made like a battering ram and lunged towards the pair of swinging doors.

“Sir!" An orderly yelped. "You can’t—!"

And Stan, who had materialized at Richie's elbow, told the orderly: "He's the husband."

5. ** It’s Hard to Tell Sometimes by gallopingmelancholia - ~21,000 words, explicit - Eddie divorces his wife and moves to LA to live with Richie. Richie promptly has like five emotional meltdowns over it. So much pining. So much. This is one of very few that has Eddie in the hospital for a realistic amount of time, which I appreciate. When writers have been hoping out of bed after a day or whatever, it really throws me out of the story.

“When can we see him?” Mike asks.

“He’s asleep, but we’ll send in a nurse when he wakes up. I wouldn’t expect it until tomorrow morning at the earliest. He’s been through quite a lot, eleven hours of surgery, and is on a lot of pain medication.”

“Will he survive? What’s the percentage? He’ll want to know the probability, he’s a risk analyst,” Richie says.

The doctor hesitates. “The chances he makes it through the night are 65%.”

“That’s not bad!” Richie says even as his heart drops to somewhere in the region of his feet. The others look at him pitifully. “Tell him we’re here and we love him. Tell him the Losers are here and we’ll see him soon.”

6. ** it’s a nice day to start again by eddiespaghetti (foxwatson) - ~6000 words, teen - Post-movie, Eddie wakes up one morning to discover that Richie and a woman had a shotgun wedding in Vegas the night before. Great, sad-but-trying-not-to-show-it Eddie here. (And yes, Richie is a total disaster gay who marries a woman on a whim.)

 “Are you sitting down?”

 “I didn’t even get out of bed yet! Bev please just tell me what the fuck is happening.”

 “Sorry, I’m sorry. Just- Richie got married.”

 “What? No he didn’t,” Eddie scoffs, throwing the covers off. “I’m not - he’s not even dating anybody, I see him all the time. It’s probably just a big joke or something, that’s-”

 “He got married, in Vegas. It’s all over Twitter, and he- he sent pictures to the group chat last night. She’s some other comedian. None of us have ever met her, he didn’t invite any of us.”

7. Oh, But He Makes You Laugh by MellytheHun - ~9,000 words, mature - Teenage Eddie has to deal with some serious jealousy when a new friend enters their group. This one has a good, slow realization on Eddie’s part.

The boy is in their grade, though not part of their social sphere; he’s nearly as tall as Richie, with light eyes, and walnut colored hair. Eddie recognizes him from his AP bio class, but can’t inwardly recall his name.

The boy nods toward Stanley while keeping eye-contact with Richie, and informs him, “alligators - they can grow up to twenty feet.”

Richie opens his mouth to argue with the new kid, but he’s cut off.

“Which is weird, cause they usually only grow four.”

Eddie watches in abject bewilderment as a hearty, genuine laugh  is startled out of Richie.

8. Richie Tozier: Pray Away the Gay by QueerOnTilMorning - ~4,500 words, teen - The official transcript of Richie Tozier’s comeback Netflix special. A lot of writers try to do Richie’s stand-up routine, but not many can nail it. This one feels realistic and contains actual, like, jokes and stuff.

Because I grew up in this little town called Derry, Maine--nope, absolutely not, do not cheer for that. Fuck Derry! I had this friend, for years he thought I was lactose intolerant, because he'd mention dairy and I'd be like "fuck Derry! Derry tried to fucking kill me!" No, I can eat cheese, I just hate my hometown. They did not fuck with the gays, in Derry. That's probably why I dress so shitty. It's a survival thing. I was already super into dudes. If I had developed fashion sense on top of that? No. Oh my God. It was so--I was so fucking scared all the time.

 And like, to put this in perspective, has anyone ever heard of Henry Bowers? Any true crime fans in the house? Henry Bowers, the baby serial killer? Yeah, you listened to that podcast! My friend Bill was on that podcast, doesn't he have a sexy voice? Anyway, Henry Bowers, also known very creatively as The Derry Killer, murdered a bunch of kids the summer we were thirteen. I say we, because that dude was in my fucking class. There was an active serial killer in Derry during my childhood and still, still my greatest fear was that someone would find out I was gay.

9. RICHIE TOZIER IS...THE COMEBACK CLOWN by owlinaminor & tinypersonhotel - ~11,500, teen - An excellent multimedia fic about Richie’s life with Eddie post-movie.

While Richie Tozier never stops talking, Eddie Kaspbrak never stops moving. Listening to a conversation between the two men is akin to watching a pinball machine with two balls going at once, slamming into each other and the walls and the levers and each other, lighting up their surroundings in a trance as mesmerizing as it is chaotic. (Kaspbrack laughed when I told him this metaphor—apparently Tozier spent many an afternoon at the town arcade when they were kids.)

Over the course of one twenty-minute walk with their dog, a beagle named Stanley, through their L.A. neighborhood, they manage to call off their engagement, call it back on, invite me, uninvite me, call the engagement off again, debate eloping, call the whole thing back on but disinvite everyone except me, and finally agree on what color napkins to have at the reception.

10. ** The Jenga Dream Date by stitchy - ~15,000 words, explicit - Richie and Eddie domestic fluff that starts at Ben and Bev’s wedding. It feels so sweet, and you can just see the happiness radiating off the screen. This is truly the ending they deserve.

Then a seriously, unbearably cute thought occurs to Richie. A thought he can’t immediately share with Eddie, because Bill and Mike each independently cornered him and made him swear not to steal Bev and Ben’s thunder.

Ah, fuck it.

“I can’t think why we would possibly be in another situation in the near future where there’s dancing but also my mother is there for some reason, but holy shit, Eds! I have got to see you dance with Mom. During this very special situation. For which I will make hand calligraphed invitations and hire a photographer and-”

Eddie’s eyes dart in either direction before he lets out a short, slightly hysterical laugh. “Uhhh, I  also have no idea when or why that would happen, or what sort of event that would be appropriate for.”

11. Bad Parts In by 50artists - ~9,000 words, not rated - It’s Richie that ends up in the hospital after it all goes down, and Eddie who has the crisis. And also some serious misapprehensions.

"I feel like Richie might be  slightly  weirded out," Eddie says dryly. "Like oh, hey, we've not spoken for decades and you're the straightest man I know, but it turns out I have been subconsciously in love with you since we were teenagers. I dunno, might make things a bit awkward."

"I'm sorry," says Beverly, "just to clarify, Richie Tozier is the straightest man you know?"

"Dude, have you seen his comedy? It's all, 'I love fucking chicks while drinking beer and watching football'."

"You mean the material that Richie doesn't write himself?'

12. ** We Found Love in a Chili’s ToGo by Amuly - ~14,000, explicit - Richie confesses his feelings to Eddie in the airport before they both headed back to their own lives. This is such a lovely story about friendship and love and putting yourself back together. And there’s some A+++ phone sex.

“Nah, Eds. It’s because I had a big gay crush and needed Stan to bitch at about it.”

Eddie frowned, then shook his head. “That doesn’t explain why you couldn’t bitch at me about it.”

“Well bitching about your secret crush to your secret crush is generally frowned upon, Eds. Kinda fucks up the ‘secret’ part.”

Eddie, bless his tiny heart, didn’t get it for a second. His expression scrunched up, about to say something stupid back to Richie, when his brain processed Richie’s words. In a second his expression fell open, jaw actually agape.

“Oh look: drinks!” Richie grabbed his marg, licking and drinking without even letting the waitress set it down onto the tabletop. Eddie barely had the courtesy left to let her set his down before he was grabbing at it.

13. ** Ask Me About My New Material by twoseas - ~7,000 words, explicit - I could read 10,000 stories about a confused and horny Eddie jerking it to Richie’s stand up without understanding why before they meet again in Derry. This one has a great Richie, who reacts like he got hit in the face with a bat when the truth comes out.

In the restaurant, as the gong resounded around them, Eddie looked up at a four-eyed, messy, middle aged Trashmouth and suddenly it all clicked.

 He had two thoughts.

Oh, he realized, it’s because I’m in love with the dumbass.

And, Aw fuck.

14. No Parenthesis by pineapplecrushface - 13,000 words, explicit - In the deadlights, Stan gives Richie some instructions on how to bring him back. Spoilers: it involves an orgy. And Richie and Eddie dealing with their feelings.

“Okay,” Mike said, holding his hands out to placate him, and honestly Richie was really fucking sick of Mike saying crazy shit and then somehow—somehow!—convincing them to do it anyway. “I’m not saying we have to do it. I’m just saying, the ritual exists and we could do it, and now that it’s out there, I feel like you should all have the choice.”

“Great. I choose no. I’m fucking leaving before I get ritualed into giving all my money to a cult leader and I end up spending the rest of my sad short life on an alpaca farm,” Richie said, standing up too fast and stalking across the room.

“Richie,” Bev said, and she sounded, unbelievably, like she was not thinking this was completely insane.

“Are you fucking serious?” He whirled around to look at them. They were all giving him varying levels of Richie, be reasonable, which was a look he was familiar with, but not when it came to sex rituals, for some fucking reason.

15. ** Stupid Deep series by anonymous - ~50,000 words, explicit - Richie has a huge dick, and Eddie is obsessed with it. Come for the super, super hot sex, stay for the sweet romance, twist of angst and happy ending.

It’s been five months since then, and Eddie has spent at least 40% of that time thinking about Richie’s big fucking dick. He spends about 20% working from home, 20% arguing with Richie about dumb shit, and the remaining 30% sleeping—this adds up to 110%, but that’s because there’s overlap between the sleeping and the thinking about Richie’s huge dick in the form of extremely graphic dreams.

He thinks about Richie’s dick in the shower. He thinks about Richie’s dick when they’re watching TV together. He thinks about Richie’s dick when he’s trying to eat breakfast. He hasn’t even seen it hard. But god, he thinks about it. Thinks about it hot and thick in his hand, thinks about it twitching as Eddie strokes it, thinks about it stretching his lips, thinks about it leaking precum all over Eddie’s fingers and tongue and stomach. And, most importantly—most vividly—he thinks about Richie’s dick inside of him, filling him up, fucking him.

At the same time, Eddie also spent a good amount of time, woven through the rest of his daily activities, falling so deeply in love with his best-friend-cum-roommate that it was disturbing at best. There was pining. There were lingering glances. There was lying on Richie’s bed while he was out just to ease the ache in his chest with Richie’s warm, familiar scent, which is disgusting and Eddie hates to think about it. There were, in Eddie’s darkest moments, daydreams about Richie holding his hand and kissing him and telling Eddie he’s in love with him. Like a fucking sap.

16. I’m quite alright hiding today by remusjohn - ~7,000 words, explicit - Eddie kisses Richie out of the deadlights, but Richie doesn’t know if that means anything.

On the first night they don’t do much of anything. They unpack (well, Eddie unpacks his massive bags while Richie tries to figure out how to sign in to his Netflix account on the tiny TV in the living room), and they order in, and they argue over what to watch while they’re eating, and Eddie falls asleep some hours later with his head tucked into Richie’s shoulder, and Richie tries not to think too much of it.

There’s been a lot of that, the last couple of days. Richie doesn’t know how to say, You kissed me to wake me up from the deadlights and I don’t know if you did it to save my life or if there’s something else too, but it’s kind of killing me, man.

So Richie doesn’t say anything at all.

17. Haunt Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me by Vulcanodon - ~20,000 words, explicit - AU where Eddie and Richie are ghost hunters who get stuck in a very trippy haunted house. This concept really shouldn’t work, and I’m not big on AUs in the fandom, but the relationship between the two of them really sells it. And, obviously, the pining. There’s so much.

The only time Eddie has ever witnessed Richie freaking out was when they had been fucking about in the woods near Montana for their werewolf episode. Eddie had been walking backwards, trying to get Richie and a creepy footprint in frame when he had suddenly felt nothing but air behind him. He had fallen for an impressively long time down the hill, blacking out briefly when a branch caught his head and when he came to Richie had been leaning over him, white and frantic, hands all fisted up in Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie, Eddie, Eds, Richie had said, nearly crying. Are you alright, can you talk?

Is my camera broken? Eddie had managed woozily to say, and for a moment Eddie had thought Richie might do something crazy like slap him or even kiss him.

He hadn’t done either in the end and Eddie remembers the disappointment, even with the haze of a mild concussion.

18. Five Times The Losers Gave Richie Permission by toomuchrootbeer -  ~11,000 words, mature - Each loser tries to let Richie know that they know in their own special way.  

“No I don’t mind,” Stan says evenly, shrugging his shoulders like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “I don’t mind any of it.”

“Cool,” Richie chirps, grabbing his backpack off of the grass and pushing himself to his feet. “Pip pip Edward,” he calls. “Shall we endeavor to find you a cleaner wardrobe?”

“Fuck you,” Eddie says back, but there is no venom behind his words.

But then Stan is reaching out, gripping Richie’s arm, “Dude what are you-”

“I don’t mind any of it, Tozier,” he repeats, voice lower and his words somehow more weighty, fixing Richie with an indecipherable look. “And I don’t think any of the other Losers would mind it either. If you wanted to,” he jerks his head in the direction of Eddie, “you know.”

19. String Theory by neverfaraway - ~17,000 words, mature - Richie starts slowly regaining his memories and has a disturbing experience in the deadlights.

The thing is, Richie knows this is a version of himself and Eddie that never existed. He can taste the pretence on the tip of his tongue, but the sticky air seems to sharpen and solidify around him. He can’t remember where he was before this moment, watching his fingers alight on the buckle of Eddie’s hundred-dollar belt.

The Voice wavers and Richie comes pouring through the cracks. It's painful to watch the careful way he places his hands on Eddie’s skin. "Fuck, I missed you," he says. "Even when I couldn't remember, I had a hole right through me, straight through the middle. You left a fucking entry and exit wound."

"Damnit, Richie," Eddie mutters, blinking rapidly. "Beep, beep."

20. hoping to be found by eddiespaghetti (foxwatson) - ~25,000 words, mature - Things don’t magically work out after Derry for Eddie. He doesn’t know what else to do, so he goes back to Myra and his depressig life. But at least now he has his friends. He has Richie.

With his memories back now, with all the knowledge of his mother and his placebos and his fake inhaler and his friends, it feels like Eddie has been living the last 27 years in sickly, yellow sepia tones. His memories and even the brief time he spent with everyone at the Chinese restaurant shine in his mind in vivid technicolor, and everything else pales in comparison.

He thought he would die, and now he doesn’t have a plan. His life in New York is miserable and cramped and leaves him feeling small, so he puts it off as long as he can.

The drive isn’t long, even with Eddie taking his time. He takes a detour just to drive along the coast and see the ocean, and stops at any given exit or National Forest along the way that strikes his fancy. He’s still home before nightfall.

21. After Derry series by pineapplecrushface - ~47,000 words, explicit - Richie and Eddie are both pining and miserable disasters post-movie. Until they finally get their shit together and figure some things out.

He woke when Eddie sat on the edge of the bed and touched his back, under his disgusting shirt. “Hey,” he said. “Your turn. I mean, your turn after I wash my hand again. What did you lie down in?”

“Your mom,” he said, sitting up and glaring at Eddie, who was half-naked, a towel wrapped around his waist. “How do you all look so good and I ended up looking like fucking Christopher Lloyd? Like, not young Christopher Lloyd. Present day.”

Eddie’s hand was still tucked under his shirt, rubbing a path across his lower back. “I guess you did grow into your looks.”

“Oh, fuck you, you weirdly muscular little shitweasel,” Richie said, escaping to the shower so he didn’t have to look at the slope of Eddie’s arms. He was weak for that, the line of a man’s shoulders and back. He was weak for all of Eddie, really. After everything he had seen, he guessed it was something he could admit to himself. There was no panic left in it.

22. for better, for worse by kaspbrak_kid - ~26,000 words, not rated - Eddie has just gotten through a messy divorce and is trying to deal with the fact that he’s been in love with Richie for 30 years, and then he has to go to Ben and Bev’s wedding. Not a great combination of things.

Eddie blows out a shaky breath and puts down his phone, then picks it back up again, restless. He scrolls up through his and Richie’s texts.

They’re not that frequent. They talk in the group chat, mostly. Eddie thinks about texting him all the time, several times a day, and then never does. It’s all just stupid shit, anyway. A dream he had or a movie he saw on TV that he remembers Richie used to like, and does he still like it? Some things his therapist tells him he should say, like that he’s been in love with Richie for somewhere between six months and thirty-odd years.

Instead, most of their private texts are just inane bickering, or Richie trying out jokes on him, or Eddie telling Richie how to clean the cut he just accidentally gave himself opening a can. He could have just googled it. But he asked Eddie.

23. feet on the ground, head in the sky by peggyolson - ~21,000 words, teen - I’m kind of a sucker for the slowburn, falling in love over distance trope. This one does it well, with bonus Richie dealing with his issues and figuring shit out.

Mostly, though, it’s just a slight tug at the back of his mind, another part of his day. A mumbled  let me call Eddie, like an afterthought, while he’s tapping his foot in line at Whole Foods.

Eddie always, always answers.

“Edward Kaspbrak,” he chirps during business hours, dry and glib, and Richie will respond in a deep, exaggerated baritone with something awful like  Mr. Kaspbrak, your test results are in and unfortunately you  will  keep shrinking at an alarming rate for the rest of your life, something barely funny that he says just to get a reaction.

(It had been  such  a mistake to give Richie his work number.)

24. it’s about time that you just unwind by fuckener - ~9,500 words, explicit - Eddie finds out that Richie is gay via his stand-up and promptly loses his mind.

“Yeah? Mine was weird, guys, I’m not going to lie. I came up with this really good idea on how to cause total chaos at a family event, you wanna hear it?” There it was - glasses adjustment, not even past the one minute mark. “If you really want to shake up another dull as fuck Thanksgiving with your parents, just wait ‘til you’re in your forties and your elderly father is spooning out his first helping of mashed potatoes for the night and then drop the bomb that you’ve been gay the whole time. Boom, happy Thanksgiving. Pass the sweet corn, I want to fuck the huge green dude on the can.” People laughed. Richie did that thing with his face between a smile and a scowl. “It’s the long game, yeah, but -”

Eddie slammed his laptop shut.

25. feel this burning, love of mine by floatingonthelehigh - 17,000 words, mature - The clown is a bastard. Richie gets a second chance.

“Don’t leave,” Eddie says quietly, and god  fucking  damn it, it breaks him that Eddie thinks he ever would.

“No,  fuck no, Eddie. I’m not going to.” He adjusts his grip on the jacket against Eddie’s stomach, winces when Eddie gasps in pain. Richie’s lip shakes again as he just keeps talking. “Frankly I’m insulted that you’d think I’d leave you, after just remembering you're my best fucking friend in the world, after twenty seven fucking years. My clown-murdering partner in crime! How could I ever leave you? Fuck no, I’m not leaving you, Eds. Idiot,” He laughs emptily, rubbing Eddie’s cheek, and pauses, beginning to nod to himself as a goal flits into his mind. “I’m going to pick you up, I’m going to get you out of here, to a hospital. Right now. And—” Eddie’s grip on his arm tightens, and he stops.

26. hey there demons (it's me, ya boi) by dharmainitiative - 12,000 words, teen - Is this another ghosthunters AU? Why, yes it is. I don’t know why there are two of these, but I enjoyed them both. This one is much lighter, and I really liked the way that the writer creates a very lived-in feeling as soon as you jump into this universe.

 As it was, BuzzFeed wasn’t a bad place to work, despite all the shit Richie gave it. He was paid well, there were always a bunch of cushy chairs everywhere, and the food that got brought in for lunch everyday was way better than the shitty grilled cheeses he ate at home for dinner. And despite what Richie expected, his coworkers were actually pretty cool, all things considered. Sure, they were all millenials who thought landing an internship at BuzzFeed was the height of success, but most of them were friendly, and occasionally funny, and like Richie, just excited to get paid to do something that required little to no effort.

 Most of them, at least. There was also Eddie Kaspbrak.

 Richie met Eddie his first day at BuzzFeed, when he was shown his desk and the incessantly chatty intern that sat at the desk right next to him. Working side by side — literally — let Richie learn a lot of things about Eddie Kaspbrak: he was a neurotic hypochondriac, exclusively owned Polo shirts, and talked faster than Richie could even blink.

27. New Page, Same Old Book by Rend_Herring - 17,000 words, explicit - Post-movie, Eddie divorces his wife, moves across the country and makes himself comfortable in Richie’s home. Richie is totally fine and not freaking out at all.

He clips the wall coming into the foyer, practically crashes over the little table he uses to stack mail—fumbles around with the chain, the deadbolt, before finally wrenching open the door.  It doesn’t occur to him until he’s sending it bouncing back against the doorstop, that it might have been a good idea to check the peephole and make sure it actually  wasn’t  some asshole out for a smash and grab in the middle of the night, or worse — a  fan.  

Richie would be less dumbfounded by either option.

He squints at the person standing in front of him, blinks.

“I’ve had this dream before,” Richie says, voice still croaky from sleep, “usually you’re wearing less clothes.”

“Jesus christ,” Eddie sighs, and rolls his eyes when Richie jumps back a bit, genuinely startled that it’s  not some manufacturing of his sordid imagination.  “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.”

28. Drives Me Wild by rustywrites - ~4,000 words, explicit - Eddie and Richie have hotel sex after RIchie wins himself an Emmy.

"I thought I told you no more jokes about how much you love my dick," Eddie says, shifting to straddle Richie's waist in earnest, rolling his hips downward just to emphasize his point, no doubt. His hands are braced on both of Richie's shoulders, pinning him back with his bodyweight, while Richie's hands are on his waist, holding him in place. It's not the most comfortable position, all things considered--Richie's knees are bent over the end of the mattress, his feet still on the floor, and they're both still in their fucking monkey suits.

Richie had tried to make the case with his agent and his manager that he should be allowed to attend the Emmys in the same clothes he always wore (jeans, a shitty t-shirt, a semi-fashionable jacket, you know, the works.) They were good enough for his specials, one of which had earned him the nomination to begin with, but both Anna and Johnathan had pushed back hard, and when Eddie had not-so-subtly sided with them, well. Suit and tie it was.

29. Rewrite by sachi_sama - ~13,000 words, mature - Stan is dead, but somehow only Eddie can see him as they race to beat It. That’s...probably not a good sign. (note: Stan stays dead in this fic.)

“Whoa. Hey, Eds, you being a weepy drunk over there?” Richie asks, and he scoots over into Stan's seemingly empty chair, and Stan vanishes as Richie's hand is suddenly on Eddie's shoulder.

“I just—I saw...” Eddie pauses, and he wipes his hands over his eyes, sniffling. When's the last time he cried? It makes his head hurt every time. “Fuck. I'm sorry, guys.” He stands abruptly. “I'm gonna go splash some water on my face.” He hurriedly exits the room and he hears Mike asking what he saw, but Eddie is already power-walking across the restaurant to the bathroom, aware Dead Stan is hot on his heels.

“Lucky. The bathroom is empty,” Stan says as he leans against the wall. Eddie looks at him, really looks, and he sees the blood on Stan's wrists.

30. ** we are all going forward, none of us are going back series by theappliepielifestyle - ~21,000 words, teen - Richie gets stuck in a time loop and forced to repeat their last stand at Neibolt over and over until he gets it right.

Richie hears himself finish saying Let’s kill this clown  and it’s only when he finishes forming the  n  that reality sets in. What the  fuck -

He whirls around. Everyone’s standing around him, just like they were last night - they’re in front of the fucking house, it’s standing again.

“What the fuck,” Richie croaks. “No, come on - what’s going on? Ohhhh fuck.”

He only lets himself stare at it for a few seconds of unbridled hate before he keeps looking at the others, who are now staring at him, pausing from where they’d all taken a step towards the house before looking back and stopping to watch Richie’s nervous breakdown.

31. ** keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theapplepielifestyle - 16,000 words, teen - Eddie dies, sort of, and meets Stan in the afterlife. The two of them realize that they can communicate with their friends in their dreams. Eddie has to watch Richie slowly breakdown in his absence.

32. ** happily ever afters all the way around series by theapplepielifestyle - ~35,000 words, teen - I have so much appreciation for this author’s desire to fix the ending by any means necessary. In this one, that good old turtle lends a hand and sends Richie back in time to fix everything. It’s...a lot.

Then it smooths out into an actual scene, if jumpy: a sigil on wooden boards that look a lot like the floor of Richie’s apartment. The sigil is probably drawn in blood, but it could also be red paint. Although Richie’s being  very  optimistic about that. Anyway, the dream is mostly that: the sigil being drawn, slow and precise, by Richie. It’s dark in the dream, and the sigil being drawn is overcut with more fleeting images, chased with sounds: Stan’s bloody hand dangling out of a bath. Stan as a kid, on the tail end of saying something as he walks home in the evening. Eddie with blank eyed, slumped in IT’s lair. Eddie as a kid, in mid-argument in the clubhouse. A voice so deep and impossible that it hurts, a voice that reminds him of the turtle’s gaze:  come back come back you can change the -

At the end of the dream, the scene will stabilize. Dream-Richie will say some shit he can't make out. Then he'll say the one thing he can make out, which is: I’m coming.

And then he’ll wake up.

LINK TO REDDIE FIC REC LIST PART TWO 

[basscannonjack]

1-100 SPEED RUN

Ama. How could you do this to me

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

Lactose intolerant, only eat cereal dry

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes, but not for too long

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

i just try to remember lmao

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

don’t like coffee, drink tea plain or with some sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

not as much as I used to be!

6: do you keep plants?

I have one (1) cactus that I haven’t killed in the 9 years I’ve had it

7: do you name your plants?

sometimes!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

music or writing

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

ALWAYS

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I generally fall asleep on my stomach and wake up on my back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

I HAVE YOU NOW

12: what's your favorite planet?

Neptune, probably!

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my SON asking me ALL THE QUESTIONS

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

oh god, probably a bit of a mess

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

the ISS was launched on the day of my birth, so it’s been in space *literally* my entire life

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

just plain ol’ chicken alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

keeping it silver baybeee

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

oh man, there are so many, but i’ll go with the time that Roman got coke to fizz through my nose by making me laugh too hard

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no journal, only very similar looking notebooks to doodle and write in

20: what's your favorite eye color?

hazel!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my Bag of Holding! snapped the clasp on it a few years back though

22: are you a morning person?

not at all!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Ashe, of course

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

I had to break into my own safe at my old job, does that count?

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

I’d say my boots, but I just got a new set, so the older ones

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Spearmint or wintergreen

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

I just love seeing my friends blush

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes, I won’t go into detail

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS I used to collect weird socks, now I just have a bunch of fun dress socks lmao

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

driving everyone home at 4 am and seeing other people on the road and going “you should be in bed!” at them

33: what's your fave pastry?

lemon meringue pie

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Teddy a winnie the pooh bear that I still have!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I adore new pens

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

uhhhh I’ve been listening to a lot of Rise Against and ABBA lmao

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

nearly anything my brother does 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black or blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my claddagh ring from my grandmother, i don’t have much else from her

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

not the last book but there was one about a girl having a single dragon finger that I remember reading so many times that I unfortunately don’t know the name of, or the Tamora Pierce Lioness series

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

Don’t like coffee!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

James <3

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I do not :’)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

not as much as I probably should

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’ve been changing my username to a different halloween themed pun for all of October, I’m all burnt out

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Balut, it icks me out

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

heights, and yes :’)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I got a record player fairly recently, I have some P!atD ones, Foo Fighters, and Imagine Dragons

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

rocks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Bitch by Meredith Brooks for my eldest sister

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the ones we’ve made in our server

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

all of the above except Pulp Fiction, I’m not really a movie person but I *am* a musical person

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my dad

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

Cotton Eyed Joe in six inch heels

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

honesty and passion in an interest

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I just vibe and belt, y’know

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

can they both be me

59: what's your favorite myth?

the soup with a rock in it!

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Where the Sidewalk Ends was always a good one

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

a coffee cup drinking horn for my dad, and some painted rocks from my brother

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

it would be apple juice if I did

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

not at all

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

greyish, the sun is just about to rise

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

My eldest sister

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

ROSES

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

give them to me, I love them

68: what's winter like where you live?

COLD

69: what are your favorite board games?

Monopoly and LIFE

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

no thanks

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

raspberry or orange for fruit and mint

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

no, but I do write things down anyways

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I lose things all the time

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

STARDUST SOULMATE

75: tell us about your pets!

I have a Min Pin named Lily

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Sleeping

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

*insert ick emoji*

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

decorated my band locker to celebrate my birthday

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige, but I hung up a bunch of posters!

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

when the sun hits very rich dirt where a tree used to be

82: are/were you good in school?

best in class in math with a 101.8 but I also rarely did homework so uh

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Dragon on the shoulder blade, roses on the left arm, Exalt on the right

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

webcomics! Barbarous, currently

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

:? not sure what that means

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

TREASURE PLANET

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

nope!

89: are you close to your parents?

my dad!

90: talk about your one of your favorite cities.

don’t really have a favorite, in all honesty

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

I was supposed to go see Ashe for their birthday but maybe next year!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

uhhh it’s usually short enough to do nothing lmao

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

I have a friend’s bday tomorrow!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

WORK

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

bit of both

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTP, Scorpio, Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

last year? maybe the one before? I did! but my heart didn’t

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

How Far We’ve Come, Matchbox Twenty

The Call, Backstreet Boys

I2I, from the Goofy Movie Soundtrack (lmao)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the future! I’ve had my time in the past, no changing it now