#but god fucking damnit im not going to lose hope

[nabaath-areng]

Being brought up on a farm and only ever going back indoors to head right back out again for my whole life, the decreasing amount of insects has been extremely noticeable and it's been going on for years. Of course it's been worrying with the climate catastrophe, and once I became a beekeeper and learned more about my village's local flora it became even more glaring.

So imagine my surprise this year when there are more insects than I can count. Sitting on my porch (practically my room during summers) I'm noticing species I haven't seen since I was at least a young teenager, and there are more butterflies of different varieties than I even remember from my childhood!

There are so many bees flying around too, probably from the hives down by the old homestead buildings by the church and school, owned by the woman I know from the local beekeeper's association.

What's more is that this year there has been no drought OR flooding, so there are a lot more flowers blooming for longer, and everyone in my village as well as the surrounding villages are reporting a burst of activity in their hives... as well as higher activity from the wild bees and pollinators. For the first time in years it's starting to resemble the way it was when I was younger.

All that is to say, the climate catastrophe is real, and in my area it's causing a lot more violent thunderstorms... but oh my god all this reminds me why I persist despite the despair that tries to dig its claws in.

I may not be able to do major change on a global scale, but you can bet me and everyone here will at least try and support this little place. We can keep going in the fight against the municipality that wants to urbanize at the cost of our precious biodiversity, and we can continue to fight to keep out the cities that tries to enroach on us and get closer.

It is rare for villages in Götaland to remain this free from urbanization despite being nestled right in the middle of multiple major cities, and there's no excuse to destroy what little there is left of it down here in the south.

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

[angrysadhappy]

I can’t eat at Thanksgiving

The table is too close to my stomach and the seats are too tight around my hips, I hate the taste of strawberry flavored jello and orange cream soda. My cousins next to me spill their disgusting concoction of mashed potato-soup-n-Reece’s peanut butter cups onto my plate, my siblings in front of me annoy me with their conversation, the things they bring up to either embarrass or mock me,

“Hey Jas, hey-“

“What Melinda.”

“You’ve got something- giggle- you’ve got something on your face”

I sigh. I roll my eyes

“What. Melinda.”

“Something stupid!”

everyone cracks out high pitched giggles or squeals. I am not amused, I am very annoyed;

Im 16 but im still sitting in the kid’s table.

I stare at the adults; up at them I admire their clean clothes, their sophisticated talks, their expressions are appropriate and pleasant, they all look so put together, like a painting they look perfect.

I stare down in shame, looking at those who sit with me; their dresses stained, opening their mouth full of food to laugh, hitting each other or stealing food off each others plate, too many conversations going at once, we are so unkept, so much of a distraction, I feel like a burden. I sit here with them as if I belong so well in this environment. I’m afraid to make eye contact with my mother or uncle, to see in their eyes what confirms that I deserve to be sat in the kids table.

Ive lost my appetite, i refuse to eat

I’ve felt this way for a while.

Not even when I brought a boy to dinner did my position change, not after I got caught and got “the talk”, and then the break up and I’ve told my family everything; not even after all that did they invite me to sit with them. I see it now having a man doesn’t make me woman, I see now being 16 doesn’t make me mature, but I can’t seem to understand that even when i understand the politics, know the name of wines, know the taste of liquor and the reasons why some people aren’t invited; I still don’t know why I can’t sit at the adult’s table.

My aunt died.

I took her place, I sit where she sat, got her same plate

Green beans, gravy on potatoes, BBQ Rudy’s takeout meats, sweet cream corn and white bread for a side dish

I miss her, she was the one I admired most. I looked up to her in every sense; made my makeup look like hers, I fake her birth marks and I even learned her accent— she’s got this way of her that I think I’m losing. She’s a child at heart, everyone’s baby, but she died so young so I guess it makes sense that everyone expects me to be what she should’ve been.

I know I shouldn’t take creative liberties when writing about the truth but as absurd it might seem this is what I think.

I truly do feel like I have to be someone’s everything, that without me they die, without my mind they’d go crazy, act like I’m a part of their body; most preferably the heart. But i learned that kind of thinking is what killed my aunt, that way of submissive cheating is what weakens the body, crushes the hope in your mind and leaves nothing but a withered soul who wishes for death, no longer does it believes it deserves happiness.

What a fucking joke this adult table is, not every family member is here, not everyone is here by choice and no one is really happy; god damnit why did I ask to sit here! was it my ungrateful thinking that brought this darkness?

The living room feels so small now, the lights don’t glow as bright and Thanksgiving brings me nothing but anxiety. I don’t miss my parents, my grandma or my aunt, I miss my cousins, my siblings and toys. I miss being a kid, back when I had nothing in mind. So badly I want to sit, sit back where I belong at my favorite spot in the kid’s table.

But I don’t fit. I’m too grown for a colorful plastic seat, my appetite changed—

“What does that mean?

“It means I don’t eat the same”

“Why?”

“I can’t handle sweets”

“But I love candy— I love Reece’s Peeb-mut M-cups”

“Yeah I like em too”

There it is. There’s my answer. My why to;

I’m 16 but I’m still sitting at the kid’s table.

Im still a child which is why I feel comfortable sitting here, but in just 3 years I’ll be an adult so that’s why I don’t fit in my seat. I feel uncomfortable because I’m in a transition of getting ready to leave. The action of fleeing doesn’t mean I’m in danger, I want my body to understand this; that changes don’t always equate to negative things. This is a part of life many find difficult, I think that’s natural. This way of thinking is good for the soul, it gives the body its strength to grow, the mind permission to breathe and learn. It gives the meaning to life and it makes the idea of the adults table more comfortable.

Today, this thanksgiving; I sit where my aunt used to sit but that doesn’t mean I need to be what she should’ve been. My uncle doesn’t bring up my grades, my mom doesn’t ask about my exes, grandma called me a young lady and my cousin just turned 3.

I sit and watch him take my seat. With great pride I wonder what he thinks of me, because in little glances when I pass the turkey, pie or green beans; I see him staring at me, the same eyes I couldn’t take off Tia Candy.

[cosmicerroraftermath]

//I wanna make an official post that goes on all my blogs rn b/c im just....busted.

I’m hyperfixated on some things, and have lost hyperfixation on other things, but whats the most important is:

Something big happened in my life that really hurt me emotionally. Nothing anyone did here, it was something else.

Only certain things are helping and I’m just.....my Muse to write on Tumblr has dwindled....and I’m so fucking scared....

I have Sovl and Sol in my dm’s saying its okay, and I know its okay for them, but I have other people who while they don’t interact w/ me, they follow me and like my content I GUESS....and I’m afraid to disappoint people on all the blogs and I’m scared to lose friends and followers and I’m crying but I need to step back and focus on the few things that are making the pain go away which is just...talking to friends, focusing on one thing at a time, and getting my shit situated because it hit me so fucking hard you have no idea.

I can’t go into detail, its so complicated and so personal it’s a train wreck, but know that it broke me mentally and emotionally and im not okay in the slightest as much as i try to smile and be funny for friends im not okay.

This is gonna be reblogged to all my blogs, but please know this:

To all my ships, my muses love their partners, they love them dearly and I hope we dont lose them while I’m on this little hiatus of mine, and i hope your muses dont forget that, just like i hope you dont.

To all my threads I hope you don’t forget me and know that I love you and what we’re doing and i look forward to coming back when im better and i’ll miss you.

I’m so, so, so fucking sorry.

God damnit I’m so fucking sorry.

[cantsleephomesick]

internal monologue

i sit here in bed picking my face, scrolling on tiktok hoping the content will drown out all the anxiety that i notice building up in my body. theres nothing to be anxious about, why are you scared?

youre safe here go go on, get some prn, yet my body chooses to stay in the same spot struggling to take breaths.

i start to shake and lose consciousness of reality, my mouth mumbles something even my brain cant seem to understand, and suddenly the world goes silent, thoughts in my head quiet down, i start to float to nothingness.

what the fuck just happened? i should know all too well, but somehow, in this moment,im struggling to put the pieces together.

im squinting and looking from many angles and god fucking damnit

i dont know whats going on. all i know is that im exhausted. ten minutes have passed, and my body has regained consciousness, my heart stables out and my lungs start to breathe normally.

i look around everything is right where it was ten minutes ago,but its no longer light. the sun as set and darkness covers my room, little by little. i lay flat on my back and i look up at the ceiling.

im so pathetic, i say into the openness letting it echo through the room

im so fucking pathetic, i say again loud enough for it to escape the thought, but not enough for anyone to hear.

i dont know what to do anymore i say to myself, i don't think i can cope, i feel empty and scared and my world is falling apart and i dont think i can stop it now I'm too deep into this to even fucking care about a life worth living. im tired of going to great lengths to get myself out of this hole.

my eyes get watery i realize i have been staring at the ceiling for far too long. i blink and my vision re-focuses. i start to ponder if this is really worth it? what do i get out of this? will it be like what they promised? at the end of the day why does it matter, because youre not better

[untitledarea]

Untitled's Prompt Writing - Angst

This 3/3 list of Prompts that I would like to do writing on Steve Harrington (I know, I'm biased. Sue Me.)

18/1/23 - Change of plans more bois are coming into the picture 😆

All of the lists will be credited to @justforshitsandcackles - I just changed some of them to fit to the universes I will write about. I'll roll a dice thrice to know who will I do the story about, what genre and number I do.  

There will be no requests, but I could change my mind over time :3

“Don’t give me false hope.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m in love with you!”

“It’s so hard for me to hate you right now.”

“I will kill anyone that looks at you the way i look at you.”

“The thought of losing you scares me.”

“I’d be lying if i said i didn’t love you.”

“I cant stand you right now.”

“I’m not okay if you’re not okay.”

“What do you mean you don’t care?”

“You swore you’d never lie to me.”

“Tell me this when you’re sober.”

“Step away before I punch you in the face.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Feel free to kill me for saying this.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Please talk to me.”

“I fucking hate everything about you.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

“You don’t get to decide what is best for me.”

“You are driving me fucking insane!”

“You. I just need you right now.”

“Will you just hold me?”

“How fucking dare you.”

“Don’t shame me.”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“I want to be more than friends.”

“Who did this to you?”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“Because i love you god damnit!”

“I turned out liking you a lot more than i originally planned.”

“Hurts.” “I know. It’s going to hurt some more, okay? Deep breaths. Im sorry- I’m so sorry-”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how im doing?”

“Whoever did this to you is going to pay. Big time.”

“Why are you running from him?”

“Easy there, don’t move too quickly- you lost a lot of blood.”

“I’ll keep calling for the rest of the night if i have to, until you answer me.”

“That is some severe bruising..”

“Don’t fucking touch what is not yours.”

“You don’t need to cover up the bruises.”

“What, you’ve never thought about us?”

“You deserve better than him. It doesn’t have to be me, but you deserve better.”

“You can’t be that oblivious.”

“What do they have that i don’t?”

“If you cry, i’m going to punch you.”

“Get out of my head!”

“Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“I’m sorry….did i make this weird?”

[narukoibito]

Heyyyyy.... first of all, Im in LOVE with YOU your STORIES!! So.... Do you think harry and ginny fight often in there married life? If so, for what would it be? (a bit angst)

@hphphphp12345678fan Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoy them!

I don’t think they fight often in their married life, but I do think when they fight, it can really escalate. 

Harry tends to bottle things up and keep things to himself. While Ginny can sense that and knock him out of it, there are times when it can cause problems. There’s also Harry’s obsessive streak (how he gets really wrapped up in things and loses sight of important things). Ginny has issues letting herself need him more. After Riddle, she became fiercely independent. And also, there’s a part of her that thinks Harry’s had enough of people wanting things from him and doesn’t want to be another person wanting things from him. 

But I mean…I also headcanon that they make a lot of progress on these things before they get married. From there, stressful situations might arise that lead to old issues cropping up or friction. Being in love doesn’t mean marriage is a smooth happily ever after. There could be all sorts of things, stress from their careers, raising children, keeping the romance and love alive. Things that everyone has to do, even if they are Harry and Ginny.

Not sure that’s a satisfying answer, so I ended up writing a little something for you.

*

The door slammed behind Harry. The loud ricochet fed a vicious satisfaction that propelled him down the steps and further down the street. His feet moved without direction, driven by the frustration that throbbed through him.

Damnit, he didn’t want to fight about this! He didn’t have the time — didn’t she understand the gravity of that? 

He wasn’t sure how, but slowly, slowly the buzz of furious thoughts started to shift and quiet as an underlying uneasiness began to build in its stead. He slowed and stopped, a yawning dread rose.

Shite. What had he done?

Panic seized him, cold hands of anxiety clawing through him. The rush of adrenaline has him trembling, his knees weak.

All Harry can see is Ginny in the kitchen, her arms wrapped around her chest, her eyes shining with hurt and disappointment.

Fuck. And he had just left. How could he have left?

He swiveled around, unseeingly, forcing his shaky legs to move because he had to go back, he had to fix this –

Air rushed out of his lungs, coming out in a plume of white, as he collides into something. Harry was so dazed and unsteady, he initially believed the flash of red hair was a trick of his mind, only the blurriness comes to focus and it was her. Of course it was her.

The relief was so blinding, his knees buckled and he damn near bowled her over. 

Except Ginny was already pulling away, and he stupidly thought that she looked so beautiful with the cold nipping at her nose, her eyes narrow and flashing with unholy fury, before she shoved something into his chest. He automatically reached up, blinking at the cloak – his cloak – in his arms instead of her.

“You don’t get to do that, Harry. You don’t get to run away when you’re upset. You don’t fucking storm out on me!” Her voice steadily gained in volume, and she gave him another hard push for good measure.

“Ginny–”

“You don’t leave in the blasted coldest August ever with nothing but a stupid shirt so that on top of being furious with you, I have to worry that you’re freezing your bollocks off! You don’t get to do that, Harry!”

She turned, seemingly intent on leaving him standing there in a stupor, but he caught her wrist and spun her back, enveloping her in his arms. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry blurted, slightly panicked but sincere. “I’m sorry, you’re right, I’m so sorry.”

Ginny tensed and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. 

Please don’t leave me.

But instead she ducked her head into his chest, her hands tightening around his back.

“Prat,” came her muffled voice.

“Yes, I’m a prat,” he readily agreed.

“But you’re my prat,” she said, as if knowing what was going on in his head. “Officially. For better or worse.”

He let her words sink in. Not trusting his voice, he gave a small nod. They held each other for a moment longer, Harry savoring her warmth. Slowly, she leaned back to search his face.

“I really am sorry. I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” Let a case consume him. “I’ll get better.”

He has to.

“And I shouldn’t have left.”

“I’m sorry too. Your work is important, and it’s only a game—”

“It’s not just a game—”

She shook her head. “I just…” Her gaze flickered down. 

Ginny was pulling back, but he gave her an encouraging squeeze.

“I love all your games. I love watching you fly.” He attended most of them, whenever he could, but there had been games he simply hadn’t been able to attend. He would be wracked with guilt, but usually she didn’t mind unless — God, he really was a prat. “This one must be important.”

“It’s silly.”

“Clearly it isn’t,” he said softly, and she slowly met his gaze.

“I was excited.” A flush began to creep up her cheeks, and not because of the cold. “For you to be there when I fly out now that my jersey…”

It struck him hard.

“Potter,” Harry said, voice hoarse, that once long unnamed feeling surging up and overflowing inside him. They’d married during the off-season, so while everyone knows, she still hadn’t had an official game — he hadn’t seen her whip around the stands with his name blazed on her back.

“Yeah,” Ginny said, her eyes softening. “I was hoping you’d look like that.”

Harry wondered how besotted he looked. He leaned in and kissed her, pouring into her everything he could never say, all the love that he woke up with, amazed that this — she was his life now.

“I’ll be there,” he whispered against her lips when they finally part for air, his words swirling around them in a warm cloud of white.

“There will be more games.”

He shook his head, his grip tightening around her. “This one is special.”

“Yeah.” She raised on up on her toes and pressed another warm kiss against his lips. “First fight over?”

“First?”

“As a married couple,” she clarified, her lips quirking up.

“Oh,” Harry said dumbly, the word married still filling him with wonder. “Yes, it’s over.”

“Okay. Come on, put your cloak on.” Ginny took his cold hand in her warm one and led him home.

[glassartpeasants]

Listen

Overhaul x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, cursing

A/N: I know i said i wanted to make HAPPY overhaul writings but my cold heart slapped me in the face with this angsty idea so enjoy.

~~~

You looked at your husband from across the room as you watch him talk to other gangs the go across the area. You scrunched your nose in disgust. Not at the other men oh no, but at your so called husband Overhaul.

It’s no secret you guys have been having a rough patch in your marriage. He was always worried about work while you worried about your husband even though you knew he never worried about you. Which struck a nerve with you that you didn’t want to talk about.

Your husband turned his head to look at you and out of spite you immediately turned you head somewhere else before walking out of the room and into your bedroom.

You demanded your own room for awhile since it seemed like you both needed space at the moment, and to escape his constant nagging of what your not doing correctly.

You close the door and plop onto your bed while grabbing a pillow to hug close to you. Digging your face into the pillow like you would your husbands chest.

Overhaul wasn’t the most romantic person and your okay with that. You weren’t either. So when he started to willingly touch you, like pats on the head, kisses on your forehead, he even let you guys cuddle a few times. It took so much time to get him to initiate physical contact. You never took any of his touches for granted so when he just stopped his usual little pats or kisses it made you very sad. Was it something you did? No, you didn’t do anything. So why was he just ignoring you now?

~~~

You sat on your desk with a pencil in hand. Your eyes never leaving the paper in which you had written on all the times you felt alone or the times you felt that your husband didn’t love you anymore.

You pretty much had a little tiny booklet at this point. You had the dates of when, the time stamps and the little action he did that made you question his true feelings. You looked down on the paper, feeling little tears making your vision grow blurry. 

“Damnit, why does it have to be like this!” You cried as you hug yourself with your arms. You were trying to be as quiet as possible when you were crying since you didn’t want anyone interrupting your little session. But life always has a way of being inconsiderate.

“(y/n) don’t forget we’re suppose to go to a party tonight so wear something nice.” You couldn’t stop the tears in time so you know he must have heard you crying. But he didn’t say anything. He held the door open a little longer before leaving. Leaving you in just more sorrow. He even ignored your crying! Whats the point in even trying to rekindle anything anymore?

~~~

You arrived at the party around 8pm with Overhaul by your side. You both said nothing to each other the entire time. 

‘He just brought me here for show’ You thought to yourself as you stand  near the door while your husband was talking to other important people. You husband hated germs so you were surprised when he wanted to go to a party.

“Miss (y/n), why are you all the way over here? Shouldn’t you be with Overhaul?” You turn your head to see Nemoto beside you.

“Please the only reason im here is for show, he doesn’t give to shits what i do the rest of the night I might as well go home at this point.” You said to him trying to stop the watering of your eyes. But you weren’t quick enough to hide them.

“You truly feel this way?” Nemoto side with a hint of concern in his voice.

“How can i not? He never talks to me anymore, I have to be the one to start the conversation. He never hugs me or does anything with me. It took us so long for him to even hug me! So to see it all disappear for no apparent reason really fucking hurts. He always acts like he’s embarrassed to be seen with me! There’s more but i just want to go home. There’s no reason for me to be here, look around Nemoto! All these people have titles and wealth while im only Overhauls supposed wife who use to work at a flower shop.” You said. Your entire being shaking as your voice trembled.

“Just take me home. I don’t want to embarrass his majesty and further.”

“There’s no changing your mind?” Nemoto asked even though he knew the answer.

“I thank you for your concern but no there isn’t. I’m fucking sick of these games.” You said. Nemoto nodded before leaving you to call a taxi.

~~~

“Nemoto have you seen (y/n)?” Overhaul asked his friend as he had been looking around the entire party for you.

“Ah she went home sir.”

“And you didn’t stop her?!”

“Trust me it was for the best that she went home.” Nemoto said before disappearing into the crowd.

“She knew that Nemoto was her ride home so how did she get home?”

~~~

You walked home. You just wanted to be alone with your thoughts, and it was nice. No worrying about making your husband angry, nothing to distract you. You made it home without a scratch and immediately went to take a shower.

You undressed and stepped into the shower feeling the warm droplets prickle onto your skin. You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. You finally felt somewhat a piece. Overhaul was at the party and-

“(Y/N) why did you leave the party?!” Well there goes your silence. You knew Nemoto would tell Overhaul where you were if asked. But you honestly weren’t expecting him to come all the way back for you.

“I didn’t want to be there!” You yell back at him. You sigh and dried yourself off and got out of the shower. You put on your pajama’s and walked out of the bathroom to face your angry husband.

“We made plans to go there for at least 1 month!”

“Oh im sorry did i embarrass you? Seems like im always an embarrassment to you!” You yell at him. You knew where this was leading. You both would get in a fight, Overhaul wouldn’t listen to you, leaving you crying and filled with anger.

“You did embarrass me yes! Jesus woman did you even consider how bad you made me look!” 

“How bad i made you look?! You always look at me like im just some revolting creature! Yo never listen to me and always leave me crying and angry! You heard me crying earlier today and didn’t do shit about it!”

“I was busy!”

“Too busy to comfort you fucking wife?! God I don’t know what to do anymore with you!”

“I’m a very busy man damnit! You know how much this means to me!”

“How much do I mean to you Kai?” You asked looking down. Tears falling as your hands shook in fists.

“What?”

“You fucking heard me. How. Much. Do. I. Mean. To. You.” The room was silent. The more time went by the more your heart broke. 

“Your my wife.”

“Am I your wife or am i just some fucking trophy?” You asked in a stern voice. He didn’t answer.

“Ever since you became the leader of the Shie Hassakai you never even seem to acknowledge my existence! Only needing me when it makes you look god!” You cried out to him. He just looked at you with that cold emotionless face.

“I’m gonna give you a choice, there is no turning back when you answer this.” Your breathing grew heavy as the weight of not knowing the answer grew on you.

“What?” He said in a tone that you could sense he was pissed.

“It’s me or your goal.” You said looking him right in the eyes. And you could undoubtedly see some sort of surprise and panic in them.

“Thats stupid-”

“ME OR THE GOAL OVERHAUL!” You yelled at him shaking in angry. Just by the look on his face you could tell what the answer was. 

“Fuck you Overhaul, I wish i never met you.” You go up to him slapping him in the face causing his mask to unhook a bit. You push past him and walked out of the compound crying. Everyone looking at you as you walked by.

“Every get back to work no time for messing around.” Overhaul said as he saw everyone looking at him in interest and worry. But they answered anyway.

As much as he’ll always deny it, watching you leave the compound in tears shot a pang right through his heart. He was so close to perfecting the bullet, why couldn’t you just understand that? He knew you guys had problems but what couples don’t?

~~~

That night he laid in his bed eyes flickered up to the ceiling. His brain bringing back memories from when you both were just married.

He remembered how much you use to smile before this all went down. You would laugh at the tiniest little things which use to make his heart flutter. 

Now thinking about it, when was the last time he heard you genuinely laugh or genuinely smile? His felt another pang right through his heart at the thought of you. 

He soon grew angry. How dare you make him lose sleep! He needed every hour so he could get started for the next day. How can you try and make him chose between his goal and you? Why ask that if you already knew the answer? Did you want to hope that he would pick you? He was too far into it he couldn’t back down now!

Overhaul’s eyes soon fluttered shut as the sleep consumed him.

~~~

“I can’t wait for tonight! I finally get to show you my favorite place to be!” You smile at Overhaul while jumping up and down.

“So your still not gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“No! That’ll just ruin the surprise!” You pouted before motioning him to follow you. A thing he liked about you. You never touched him without asking him first. You understood his disgust for germs. And you were quirkless! A win win situation.

“Okay I’m coming.” He let out a chuckle before following you. He would never admit out loud how much he loved you. You were something that he would never take for granted. If he lost you, what would he do? You were the only one who understood him, cared for him. Being with you made all his worries go away.

“We’re super close just about 5 more minutes!” You laughed as you twirled around skipping. Something you always did when you first met him.

“I’m so curious to what has you so giddy.”

“Well just being with you makes me giddy!” You smiled at him. He wanted to hug you, to kiss you but his mysophobia always got in the way. He knew you were clean but for some reason he couldn’t take to touching you just yet.

“We’re here!” You said as you looked at him with happiness. 

Overhaul looked up to a bright sky full of stars. It was so beautiful. The night sky dark enough to see all sorts of constellations.

“Isn’t it pretty?” You said as you eyed up the sky. You looked so peaceful looking up at the sky.

“Yes indeed it is a beautiful sight.”

“I’m glad I met you Kai, i wouldn’t be this happy if i hadn’t met you.” You gave him a warm smile.

“I could say the same.” He smiled under his mask. He took a deep breath before grabbing your hand and holding it. Of course he still had his glove on but he could feel your excitement the moment he held your hand.

~~~

His eyes slowly opened as he let out a yawn. He sat up in his bed rubbing his eyes as he replayed his dream once more. He remembered that day like it was yesterday.

He sighed as he looked towards your side of the bed, nothing.

Another sharp pang burst through his chest as he realized that what happened yesterday was no nightmare.

He remembered when you use to always sleep by his side in your guys old shared bed. He never admitted it but having you right there next to him always helped him sleep at night.

So when he heard you wanted your own separate room he was hurt to say the least. Why did you want your own separate room?

He noticed afterwards that you both started to slowly drift away. He was just to busy to do anything about it. Maybe just maybe if he had paid more attention to you, you would still be here right beside him in his bed.

No. He can’t dwell on whats already been done. He has to continue his work. He can’t let someone ruin it for him.

Even if that someone ran away with his heart in pieces.

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

Desire

A/N: SMUT ON THE BRAIN, I REPEAT SMUT ON THE BRAIN. 

Angel Reyes x Reader

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 1705k

Language: Smut, mention of blow-job, language, SMUT

*****************************************************************

Y/N leaned dangerously lower finding herself eye level with none other than Angel and the guys. She smirked; “You have five minutes to meet me in the storage closet Angel Reyes or I’m starting without you.” Y/N whispered licking the shell of his ear seductively. “And I don’t like waiting…” 

Her converse shoes squeaked ever so slightly against the wood floors beneath them as he ogled her ass swaying farther from his reach. Her form fitting shirt was leaving little to his active imagination. Her denim cutoffs taunted him with the simple sway of her luscious hips. She was a fucking deity and Y/N knew he was eating out of the palm of her enticing hand.

Under his breath, Angel finally exhaled the compressed air lodged in his chest; “Fuck.” Popping the ‘k’ overtly. It wasn’t until Coco coughed attempting to clear away any residual sexual tension that Angel peeled his stare from Y/N looking around the table innocently.

“Yo, I say this with mad love but if you don’t leave this table to fuck her, I will homie.” Gilly and Riz laughed wholeheartedly alongside Coco. The fire in Angel’s orbs blared to life, anger gripping ahold of him. His fist clenched ripping one of his cards clean down the middle trying to refocus his pent-up frustration.

“I’d watch that mouth of yours, man. Anyone who dares to touch Y/N nonetheless solicit my girl will definitely be meeting me in the fucking ring. Got it, hermano?”

Coco cheeks blushingly glowed chuckling at his best friend. They were in the middle of a poker game and Y/N knew to not bother him during these times. But, looks like Y/N didn’t want to play fair tonight and he’d have to remind of the rules. Angel licked his wet lips as saliva pooled within him.  

“I only do it because you’re so easy to get a reaction out of…probably why Y/N loves seeing that pissed look on your face. Bitch knows how to play the damn game; I’ll give her that.”

He threw his cards down to the table signaling his defeat; “Boys, I gotta girl that needs tendin to. Don’t come searching for us.” Angel raised his left eyebrow wiggling it to the best of his ability. His boots scuttled as the chair legs screeched backwards. Angel leisurely rose from his seat chugging the rest of his whiskey. The liquor was bitter, malty, and burned in all the right places. With his nerves afire and his belly ablaze, Angel sought out the one thing that could calm and simultaneously bait him.

The rumblings of his brothers didn’t jog past him as he walked towards the empty storage room. The soft voice of Gilly made its way to him; “Fucking Reyes and Y/N. How the hell did he score her again?” Coco chimed in; “Cabrón con suerte.”

Ez watched from the bar top inspecting his brother’s hungry glare scouring the room for Y/N. To say he was jealous wouldn’t be his choice of words but there was something about his best friend and brother boning that provided a weird energy of comfort.  

“Avert your gaze, Prospect. That’s an order.” Angel raised his hand saluting him breaking into a fit of laughter. Ez merely nodded focusing his attention back to demeaning cleaning chores and collecting miscellaneous bottles. The older Reyes walked through the door in search of the hidden room approaching on his left. He so enjoyed these games especially when it included Y/N.

“Oh sweetheart, where ya hiding? Papi is getting impatient.” His questioning tone vibrated off the bare walls as Angel observed the nooks and crannies surrounding him.

“Querida, you’re being a damn tease…”

Out of the blue, Angel heard the teasing tone of his girlfriend; “Marco….”

“So, you want to play games, Y/N? Bring it on darling. Polo.”

His ears perked up as his arm hairs stood straight looking for identifiable clues. Angel whipped around hearing a broom clash against the cold concrete. Y/N shuffled covering her mouth in hopes of keeping her laughs muffled. Her heart was practically beating outside of her rib cage as his signature cologne invaded her nostrils. Ever so quietly, Angel instinctively sauntered obscenely silent towards a corner of the abandoned room.

Angel was swift on his feet jumping around the corner scaring the living shit out of Y/N; “Gotcha!”

Y/N jumped as Angel watched her eyes bulge in momentary fear; “Shit, Angel! Well, looks like you found me. Now time to claim your prize?”

“Don’t have to tell me twice, baby.” Angel’s grip on her smooth hips tightened gluing her between the wall and his frame. Y/N huffed pressing her breasts firmly against him in retaliation.

“Well now that I’ve got you exactly where I want you…what are you gonna do with me?” Angel nipped at her exposed cleavage moaning loudly.

“Jesus Angel. You’re driving me crazy.” With little vigor, Y/N’s hands shoved him giving her a sliver of distance. Grabbing by the collar of his pristine shirt, she pressed him into her former place. Immediately, Y/N reached for the bulky belt buckle currently blockading her path, pulling hard admiring it slipped through the loops. She kept one hand securely on his chest as the other dropped the offensive item to the ground.

“You’ve been very naughty Angel. I’m here to deliver your penance.” Her flirtatious manner was beginning to get the best of her, her patience was truly being tested. She sunk down to her knees staring up at his bashful brown eyes and quivering Adam’s apple. Contemplating every sinful thought riddling his thoughts Angel tried to find the words garbled in his throat. 

Her hands moved faster than his brain undoing the button of his jeans before Angel was graced with the delicious sound of a zipper lowering. A minor tug of his pants revealed his striped boxers as Y/N slipped beneath the pesky layer. Her doe eyes gawked towards him in a demanding yet submissive approach.

“Looks like you’re in for a treat, Reyes…Of course if you’re not interested, I bet I could find---”

“No more fucking around baby.” Y/N bobbed in innocent agreement; “As you wish.”

She enveloped his hard cock stroking him the entire length, squeezing just enough at the tip as a groan slipped from him. “I can’t wait to taste you. I’ve missed you.”

Y/N continued her perfected movements fondling his dick faster causing his breath to hitch.

“Damnit, baby! What’re you doin—?”

Before he could finish his sentence, Angel was engulfed in her heat, the warmth of her flawless mouth. Y/N sucked harder compelling Angel’s head knocking the white wall holding him.

“You are too good at that. Too fucking good.”

Drool oozed from the corner of her salacious mouth as Y/N hummed forcing the vibrations to take Angel to the next level of pleasure. She sucked him off like her life depended on it. He was a half second away from losing it when she deep throated him to her limit. The suction noise was enough to turn him on enormously, but watching his girl go full force was about to make him lose his load. Pre-cum leaked down her chin before Y/N made quick work of licking it away, tidying up her mess.

She proceeded to remove herself, popping her lips loudly in effect; “Mm hmm, two minutes and you’re a goner.”

Angel was stunned into submission at the attractive girl on her knees and it turned him on to no surmountable end. He guided her back to where he craved her most cleverly placing his hand on the back of her head. He hated controlling her mannerisms but strictly stayed in place for future guidance. Angel added the smallest of pressure as more of his length guided down her throat. So warm and welcoming, Angel had to think of literally anything else to stop himself from cumming. The lustful look, her hands locked behind his buttocks, it was all too much for a simple Mayan to take in.

“Ahh, ahh shit. If you get doin that, I’m gonna explode.”

So, Y/N kicked into overdrive taking him as deep as her body would allow. She loved watching his eyes roll into the back of his head and the part of his lips waiting to cry out. So close, Y/N knew he was teetering on the edge of a mind-blowing orgasm so she initiated into full force.

The squelching noises coming from Y/N sent Angel overboard. Y/N sloppily slurped vying with every energetic thrust. The ache within him involuntarily released driving Angel to cum ferociously into Y/N’s sweet, hot mouth. Ribbons of cum filtrated the back of her throat welcomingly.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’ was the only explicit word in Angel’s mind as lustful chaos stormed throughout his body. Hot cum simmered down her throat as she so freely swallowed every gulp with dignified pleasure. She moaned around his length allowing his orgasm to linger. Angel lovingly held her in place as she sucked every last drop from the tip of his cock.

“God damn. God damn woman.”

Y/N’s fingers edged along the corners making sure to clean up any remnants remaining surveying Angel candidly. Y/N removed herself from the floor tucking him gently back into the folds of his boxers as his body turned to gelatin.

“You taste sweet. A hint of strawberry and pineapple?” Her devious tone enticed him wanting to bend her over and make her scream. But they’d been preoccupied for longer than anticipated. Angel knew he couldn’t fuck her quite yet but the night was young and the devilish grin on Y/N’s face told him he was in for a night of fucking and love making.

“Babe, that was fucking mind-blowing.” Angel cupped her cheeks kissing her excitedly. His cock twitched wishing to be buried inside Y/N but he knew better.

“Damnit, one hour and we’re out of here. Got it?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, Reyes. I’m in dire need of an orgasm or two especially with my sexy as fuck Mayan to ride reverse cowgirl.”

“You have to idea what you’re askin for….”

Winking in Angel’s direction, Y/N knew precisely what she desired; “One hour or I’m starting without you.”

~~~~~~

Tags: @twistnet​ @ifoundmyhappythought @angelreyesgirl89 @carlaangel86 @imagineredwood @gemini0410 @mayans-mc @reaperwalking @prospectfandom @emmaveale123 @peaky-marvel @kind-wolf @scorpio4dayzzz @starrynite7114 @penny4yourthot @breanime @whyisgmora @thegirlwhowritesfics @star017 @threeminutesoflife @woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass @blessedboo @lady-pswrld

[yn-dreamlife]

Can you hear me?

Bakugo Katsuki x reader (hero name: Elementas)

Quirk: Quantification of Emotions (shorten to QoE), basically whatever emotion your feeling strongest (out of six) will allow you to control that element. Your hair also changes to that color. 

Emotions: 

Anger, vivid red, wind

Sadness, pastel blue, water

Longing/Love, white, light

Happiness, pink, fire

Loneliness, black, darkness

Confusion/Anxiousness, green, earth  

Summary: There was a villain attack and as your about to die you think of your last words to Katsuki.

warings: yelling, swearing, angst, like ANGST, character death, blood, villan attack, blood, depression, fluff?

Song: Train Wreck, James Arthur  (I hope that works, I've never done this before) 

Word count: 3206

Laying in the silence Waiting for the sirens Signs, any signs I'm alive still

Coughing I look around me. “Wha-” I place a hand on my forehead feeling a liquid underneath my palms. “What’s happening?” I speak as my ears ring and I see a red fluid on my hand. 

I look around and see the chaos around me. All around me is ruble, I can't see an inch of sky. I look around seeing the dust flying around the air, the small fire scattered around trying to find anything amongst the concrete to consume and stay alive with. 

At least I can't see any civilians around me, thats a good sign. As I continue to assess my surroundings, even with my blurry vision and ringing ears know that the villain is gone, or at least not near me. 

When I finally look down at my own body I wince. There was a giant metal rod sticking out of my abdomen, I guess the adrenaline must be preventing the full brunt of the pain. As I look at it and see the amount of blood being lost I know I won't be saved. 

I don't wanna lose it I'm not getting through this

Tears well in my eyes as the regret swims into my heart. I don't want to die like this. I don't want to die not knowing if everyone is safe. I don't want to die not knowing if Katsuki is okay. I don't want to die in pain. 

Of course every hero knows the risk, we’ve known since we where in high school. But it doesn't mean anyone actively wants this to be there way out. 

Everyone deep down hopes for a peaceful death. Or at least to die with those we love. 

Hey, should I pray? should I pray To myself? To a God? To a saviour who can Unbreak the broken

What if I could make it? What if I scream loud enough? Can I even scream right now? And even if I can who's to say it'll get to the surface? And I would want them to get the civilians first. “Damnit!” I try to yell but all I can manage is a weak whimper. 

“I should be stronger than this!” I said as my throat constricted. ‘God I sound just like Suki.’ the thought of him makes my heart clench. ‘I shouldn't have said all those things. I shouldn't have-’ I was swept up in the memory of my last conversation with him. 

Unsay these spoken words Find hope in the hopeless

“Jesus y/n what is wrong with you?!” He screamed at me. “Like can you calm the fuck down for once?!” 

I scoffed at him whirling around on him. “I need to calm down?! Don’t you tell me to calm down!”

“You're the one who started all of this!” He screamed at me. 

“And you’re the one who flirts with other people!” I fire back. 

He scoffs again, “I wasn't flirting with her! It’s not my fault you're so insecure that you think that you shitty woman!” 

My face drops slightly more sadness seaping into my heart. “Why do you think im so insecure Kasuki? You call me shitty woman every other sentence! You talk about how great other girls are and how strong they are! You-” 

“You know thats just how I am! And I don't talk about them romantically im taking about them from a hero stand point! Shouldn't you be happy now that I don't look down on every single person!” He screamed his quirk popping off in frustration. 

“Yeah I know thats how you are but it still an hurt me you dick! And it’s different when those girls are clearly in love with you!” he scoffs “If you tell me they aren't I swear to god you must be really blind!” I scream again. 

“Of course I don't notice because why would I when I have a girlfriend!|?!” He screams. 

“Do you?!” I shout the words spilling out of my mouth. “Because it doesn't always feel like you want to!” his next words break my heart. 

“Maybe I don't!” I watch his face drop the second the words leave his mouth. “y/n- wait I didn't-” But I cut him off as my alarm goes off. 

“I have to go to work. At least I know they need me.” I whisper bitterly. 

“Y/n wait! We can't leave it like this!” he calls frantically after me. 

“You never had a problem leaving me heartbroken before. Why care now?” and with that I got in my car driving away as the tears streamed down my face. 

Pull me out of the train wreck Unburn the ashes

When I got to work I quickly dismissed anyone at my hero agency as they asked what was wrong. I even ignored Kirishima, who was one of my best friends. “Go ask you ‘Bakubro’” I muttered bitterly at my fellow hero. 

I looked to my side kick, she was nice. She wasn't a cocky self assured teen like me and my classmates where. Both me and her quickly left to patrol. I was happy when she started rambling about the latest guy she found an interest in instead of asking me what was wrong. 

Not that I didn't appreciate my colleagues concern I just didn't want to think about it. Or I didn't want to talk about it, theres no way im not thinking about it. Even now, I couldn't help but tune out my sidekick/intern as my thoughts where consumed with my final words. 

“You never had a problem leaving me heartbroken before. Why care now?” Damnit I know thats not true and yet I still said it. Katsuki always at least texts me after wards, and he’s never left without muttering some form of I love you. I moved to pull out my phone when I suddenly heard screaming. I look up to see five of our most wanted villians up ahead wreaking havoc. I stop my phone Turing to my intern who looks ready to fight.    

Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet Pull me out of the train wreck Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

”No.” I said placing a hand on her shoulder. She looks at me shocked as I continue. “I need you to help civilians.” 

She hesitates,”But I can help-” 

“I know but these guys are to strong. Please trust me, I want you making it out of this alive. Go help the civilians. If you have to I give you my permission to use your quirk for defense and defense only. Do you understand?” No response 

“Minako!” she stares at me “Please, you're like my kid, don't make me beg.” Tears well in her eyes and she nods before running off and I run onto the scene.

I should have known the second I asked her not to fight that this wouldn't end well. I should of said something to him before I left. I should have- 

  Pull me out, pull me out Underneath our bad blood We still got a sanctum, home Still a home, still a home here

I was pulled from my thoughts as coughs ripped there way through my throat. the pain in my stomach worsening. Was I really going to die like this? Filled with regrets and what ifs? 

No. I still have people to live for. I still have things I need to do, things to say. A man to kiss and marry and love all I can do know is hope. 

‘Please, damnit if someone is out there please help me. I know I don't pray enough, hell I know I don't deserve this but god damnit Im selfish. Im selfish and I want to live longer. I want to get married and have kids. I want to at least kiss him one last time. I don't even have to live, just let me hear him say I love you one last time. let me hold him again.’ 

As these thoughts consumed me I didn't notice the light blooming around me becoming brighter and brighter. 

It's not too late to build it back 'Cause a one-in-a-million chance Is still a chance, still a chance

“Y/N!!” I heard someone scream. “Y/n baby hold on!” he screamed again. My light glowed brighter. 

“Katsuki!” I cried. 

“Thats right! Im here princess I’m gonna get you out of there okay?!” I dint respond knowing he wasn't really answering. 

“Hurry Deku please!” Deku was here? after a moment he spoke again “Riot! Cellophane! Thank god you are here! Please you have to help me I can't blast through the rubble I might crush her!” He cried frantically. 

I saw some rubble begin falling next to me and screamed on instinct. “Oi be careful!!” He screamed. 

“Ground zero!” I heard a familiar voice. 

“S-sensei?!” 

‘What? Easers here? But- he's retired.’ 

“You need to stop shouting, your friends are here trying to help you. We both know they mean her no harm.” I can only assume he nodded because there was no more shouting, but there was also no more anything. Not a single sound. 

And I would take those odds Unbreak Unsay these spoken words

“H-Hello?” I called 

“Don't worry Y/n-chan we’re still here!” I heard deku yell. I sighed relieved. 

“Y/n!” I heard red riot or as I know him Kirishima call out. “Pop quiz whats Eraser heads child named?!” He yells out, and confusion builds in me. 

‘What? He has a kid? Oh my god is the kid here?!’ I thought anxiously. 

“Now!” I hear cellophane or Sero scream and before I knew it the rubble was being ripped away but I saw some coming towards me before I could think I manipulated the earth around me into a ball. 

“Yes!” I heard them all collectively say, except for katsuki. 

“Y/n! You're okay its okay!” He said as I placed the earth back and he ran over to me. He went to touch me but stopped short. “Oh god, princess!” he exclaimed looking down at my abdomen. 

Find hope in the hopeless Pull me out the train wreck 

“We need some help over here! Anyone who has a strong healing quirk get over here now we have a hero down!” He screamed but I didnt care about the pain, I didnt care about the medic. All I cared about was him. 

“You came.” I whispered he looked to me and cupped my cheek. 

“Im always gonna come for you.” He said softly smiling down at me as tears leaked from both our eyes.  

“Im sorry.” I whimper out and he shakes his head. My eyes begin feeling heavier. 

“no no no!” he says shaking me slightly “Don't apologize just keep your eyes open for me, yeah?” 

“Can you hold me?” I whisper. 

“I can't move you if I do-” 

“Please suki, I want to feel you hold me one last time.” I whimper my eyes getting heavier. 

                                                                                       Unburn the ashes Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet

“Well then I have great news, and that’s the fact that I’ll hold you for the rest of our lives but I can't move you princess.” I shake my head smiling sadly. 

“Katsuki.” I hear a soft voice whisper and look to see a teary eyed Kirishima.

“N-no!” he screams at him. “She’ll be fine!” he looks to me now. “you’ll be fine!” I shake my head my hair turning a murky blue. 

He relents and eventually very quickly pulls me off of the pipe. But I don't make a sound, I don't even wince. I don't feel the pain at all my body to numb.  

Pull me out the train wreck Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out                                                              

I smile as he pulls me into his arms, “Thank you.” I whisper. 

“Anything for you princess.” He cups my cheek and wipes the tears that are still slipping from my eyes. 

“Im sorry.” we say in unison. 

“I shouldn't have been so insecure.” I whisper, and he shakes his head.  

“No baby no. I shouldn't have been so insensitive and I shouldn't have said what I said. I never question my love for you, or me wanting to be with you.” He says placing his forehead on my own. 

“I love you.” I whisper. 

a sob leaves his throat. “I-i love you too.” he sobs holding me to him. I try to lift my hand but I can't. I feel a gentle material curling around my wrist and pulling it around his neck. I look to see Mr. Aizawas capture weapon I smile up at him. 

“Damnit where are they!” Katsuki yells pulling away from me. I see a team frantically running to us but before they get to me I feel my eyes growing to heavy. 

“Be happy...Suki” I whisper as the darkness envelops me. 

You can say what you like 'cause see, I would die for you

I, I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God Be my help, be a savior who canUnbreak the broken

Katsuki watches as you eyes close, “N-No!” He screams. “Hurry up , please!” He calls out to the people who run impossibly quicker. Once they get there and he has to place you down he automatically wants to hold you again. But he's held back and he sees its Deku who’s holding him back. 

He wants to rip his hand off of him but he can't find the strength in himself so he relents and allows the freckled boy to pull him away. He sees his red haired friend and doesn't hesitate to accept the hug he gives him. 

he balls his hands against the gears of his friends hero costume. “Damnit kiri I can't lose her!” he sobs. No one says anything, theres nothing they can say. No words can comfort the fiery blonde except for your own.  

but he does pull away from his friend as he sees them placing you on a gurney and begin rushing away. 

“Wait!” he calls after them. 

“Sir you can't come with us you have to meet us there its to risky!” A female medic says as sets pumping oxygen into your lungs. 

“I can drive you!” He hears a voice behind him say quickly. He turns to see who only to see your side-kick Minako. He nods and quickly runs to her car. 

The drive there was silent, he isn't even mad at her which shocks both of them. She breaks the silence whispering, “She begged me to help the civilians.” he nods still remaining silent. “I should have- I should have been there.” just then a sob rips through her throat. 

Katsuki looks to her remaining silent for a long moment. “She would have been devistated if you had you gotten hurt.” he whispers. 

“huh?” she glances over to him quickly before looking back to the road. 

“she talks about you all the time, she feels a motherly bond to you.” he whispers. 

“s-she was serious about that?” She asks wiping her cheeks.

“Yeah, maybe because she never had a mother figure or maybe because you remind her so much of herself. But she does, and I know she's tankful for all the civilians you helped save.” The girl nods smiling softly.  

Unsay these reckless words (find hope in the hopeless) Pull me out of the train wreck

When they arrive to the hospital they both quickly run to the front desk. 

“Elementas, I need to know what room elements is in!” Bakugo cries. 

“Mr. Ground zero sir you can't see her yet.” the nurse states standing up and stopping him from running off. 

“Why the hell not?!” He screams fist firing off slightly.

“She had to go straight into surgery.” the woman states calmly. Bakugo grunts as he sits down. 

twenty minutes later the same nurse approaches. “Sir they've already set up her room you tow may wait for her there but when they ask you to leave you-” before she could finish Minako interrupts. 

“Understood.” she says quickly. The nurse nods giving them the number and they make there way there. 

It was another half hour when Kirishima showed up with a spare change of clothes for Bakugo and offered to drive Minako home so she could rest. She only left when he promised to keep her updated. He changed into his civilian clothes before he finally sat down on the chair next to the bed you would soon be in and before he knew it he was asleep. 

Unburn the ashes Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet

When he woke he looked around confused but he perked up when he saw a nurse. “Sir we need to get her settled and then you can come back in.” He nods quickly heading back t the waiting room. The quicker he left meant the sooner he would see you. 

It was fifteen minutes later when a doctor approached him. “How is she? Is she okay?” He asks anxious. 

“she sustained grave injuries. A head wound which concussed her. Five broken ribs, a punctured lung. Not to mention the damage from the pipe in her abdomen. But other than these things she is fine.” The doctor said as he walked away. Katsuki quickly made his way back to your room as he saw your eyes blink open. 

Pull me out of the train wreck Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

“Y/n!” he called happily. You looked pail, and honestly an inch from death, but never in his life had he been so happy to see you. 

You smiled at your boyfriend as he walked into the room. “Suki.” You whispered holding a hand out to him. He quickly came to your side taking it and covering it in kisses before moving up your arm and kissing your face. He placed a loving kiss on your lips before placing his forehead on your own. 

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” He whispered. 

You chuckled but winced. “easy there princess your ribs might not be happy with you for a while.” he says cupping your cheek and you nodded. It was a long day between all the visitors. Wether it was a crying Minako who had heart felt apologies and confessions with you. Or a group of your former classmates coming to make sure you where alright. Or even a soft spoke Mr. Aizawa who came once Katsuki had left to get you and himself some food. 

By the end of the day you where exhausted and you where more than happy to allow your boyfriend to carefully lay next to you only intertwining your legs and holding your one hand with his own while the other rested on your cheek. 

“Hey y/n, what you said about me being happy,” Katsuk whispered and you hummed for him to keep going. “I’m going to be... with you.” with a soft exchange of I love you’s and a sweet kiss after that you where both asleep. 

[mythologyfolklore]

Ares has a bad day

.

“WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU DIE???”, the war god shrieked furiously, while while stabbing a random mortal soldier like there was no tomorrow.

Dammit, that little fucker should have been long dead by now! Instead he just lay on the ground screaming and crying in agony like a bitch – but he just wouldn't die!!!

“I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, JUST KILL ME, OHMYGODS-”

“I'm trying, alright?!”, Ares snapped. “Now shut the fuck up! I gotta think …”

But that was kind of hard with thousands of mortal warriors lying around the battlefield similarly screaming and bleeding out.

Which both aggravated and confused the war god; why were they all still alive?! Where was the fun in war, if no one died?!? How was that even possible, most of them should have died of their wounds.

Why was no one dying?!

Where were the Keres? Where was Thanatos?!

Wait … exactly! Where the fuck was Death?!

He would have to give Hades a call. Surely, the King of Erebos would have answers.

“Ares … Ares … ARES, PICK UP THE CALL, DAMNIT!!!”

The war god jumped, but groaned in annoyance and produced his far-speaker.

“Hello, this is Ares, god of terrible war, what do you want?”

A sigh on the other end: “Ares, it's me. Your uncle Hades.”

“Oh, hey! Yeah, listen, there's a problem up here …”

“No one is dying?”

“Yeah. Uncle, where is Thanatos?!”

“Tartaros, if I know!”

“What the fuck?!”

“Yeah. No one has died in over a year! Listen, Ares, I can't leave Erebos because of my work, so you have to help me out – please. I have quotas to fill!”

“What, so you don't lose out to Ereshkigal and Hel again?”, Ares teased.

There was an annoyed grumble at the other end of the line: “Haha, very funny, you git! Just go and get Thanatos back! The last time I saw him was when I sent him to get the criminal Sisyphos. He still hasn't returned and many people in need of the relief of gentle death are suffering. And the Keres are suddenly burdened with work they can't handle. Just yesterday they collapsed from exhaustion. And that disgusting mortal is still alive.”

“Oh, that guy! He killed his guests and cock-blocked my dad, didn't he?”

“NEPHEW!”

The war god winced and held the far-speaker away from his ear.

“What the fuck, don't scream into my ear! Alright, so that explains why no one's dyin' here. Yeah, I'll have found 'im by the evenin'. Expect me in your halls by the end of the day, with Thanatos and that fucker Sisyphos. See ya.” Then he ended the call.

Ares huffed in frustration and went off to find … wait. Where did that motherfucking arsehole live again? Oh right, Corinth …

Just an hour later, a very pissed-off war god burst through Sisyphos' front door.

Upon finding him (a mousy-looking man in his late 60s), he seized him by the tunic and roared: “ALRIGHT, YOU SON OF A BITCH, WHERE THE FUCK IS THANATOS?!”

Sisyphos stuttered: “U-uhm, y-you seem a bit upset, how about a drink fir-”

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Ares knocked him out.

Scornfully the god looked down on the unconscious mortal. “Never mind, I'll find him by myself. Nice try though, but that has never worked on me!”

Then he searched the whole palace, until he got to the king's bedchamber. There he found a closet, which was unnecessarily covered in chains. Bingo.

With ease he tore the chains away, opened the closet and the weakened death god dropped before Ares' feet.

The war god grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Thanatos! Oi! Can you hear me? Wake up!”

Finally, but oh so slowly, Thanatos opened his eyes and blinked disorientatedly. “Wh-what … happened …?”

“Ya dumb fuck let that ugly bastard getcha drunk and lock ya in a fucking closet, so I had to come here to save ya 'cause no one's dying! What the fuck, man! You had one job! How am I supposed to have fun, if no one is d-mhmph????”

Ares froze, when Thanatos pressed his chapped lips to his own.

“Thank you”, he croaked, before passing out.

For a few minutes Ares was paralysed.

Then he snapped out of his shock, vehemently wiped his mouth and stared at the son of Nyx in horror and disgust.

“Ewww! What the Tartaros is wrong with you! Damn, I feel like I'm in some cheesy romance play by Dionysos, where I have to save the damsel in distress or some weird shit. Now, where's your scythe … oh, there it is!”

With a huff he grabbed the death god's scythe, threw him over his shoulders and dragged the mortal, the death god and the scythe straight down to the underworld.

There he throttled Kharon, until the old geezer gave him and Thanatos a ride and from there carried the poor god to the throne room, where Hades and Persephone were waiting.

“Ares!”, Persephone exclaimed and rose from her throne. “Welcome, my brother! Oh, you found Thanatos! Praise to Ananke!”

“Yeah, didn't take as long as I thought. Anyway, I think death boy here needs medical attention.”

Hades came over, shaking his head. “Really, nephew, I'll never get over how you talk about Thanatos like he isn't older than even myself. But let me see, wha- by the gloomy mists of Khaos!”

The war god had placed the unconscious Thanatos on the floor before the thrones.

The personification of death was – ironically so – more dead than alive.

“Found 'im stuffed and locked in a closet”, Ares told the royal couple. “Arsehole obviously didn't give him food or drink either. Speakin' of that mofo, he's waitin' outside the palace for someone to call him in to be judged and junk.”

Persephone nodded and waved over a few attendants to fetch nectar, ambrosia, a litter and some medical equipment. Then she bent over to examine Thanatos.

“Stretch his wings, so I can get a better look. Ares, what happened exactly?”

So he recounted everything in detail and Hades and Persephone were astounded, when he told them about that kiss.

“How odd”, Hades remarked. “Usually he only kisses his siblings and his mother.”

“I don't care, to whom he does it, as long as it isn't me!”, Ares snapped angrily.

“Now, brother”, Persephone tried to soothe him, “he was starved and dehydrated. Certainly he didn't actually mean to do this. He must have been delirious.”

“Whatever”, Ares grumbled. “I don't want him to do that ever again. Tell him that, when he wakes up. And give him my regards.”

Hades grinned: “Aw, you're leaving already? Don't you want a little snack, before you go?”

“Hades! That joke is getting old!”, cackled Persephone.

Ares just glared at the both of them – he really wasn't in the mood for this!

“No, thanks! I'm not stayin' here any longer! Bye!”

He returned to Olympos in a really bad mood and everybody took care to avoid him, while he was in that state. Grumpily he went to bed and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day.

Well, at least that came true: humans were dying again, just like they were supposed to.

He also received an apologetic letter from Thanatos. The death god wrote that he didn't remember much, but faintly recalled thinking that his twin-brother Hypnos was holding him in his arms.

Okaayyy … still, who the fuck kissed their twin on the mouth?!

Not even he and Enyo did that!

The children of Nyx were so weird!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that.  (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind.  I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep.  Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row???  So we might see her right away??  No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before?  Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave.  --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What?  Is she reading a childrens’ book?  --Oh.  She’s eulogizing Gamzee.  So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person.  (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point.  Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup???  --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side.  That would make sense.  You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much?  Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again?  Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it.  ...Huh.  Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia.  Phew!  Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here?  Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense?  And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah.  I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them.  That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way.  You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm.  It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL.  Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something.  And a black tail?  This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe.  Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress.  Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.  I don’t see anything over her mouth!  Did she stick something in it, or drug her?  File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair.  Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then?  --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember.  Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade?  I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun.  AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl.  How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK.  Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like.  Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts?  Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text?  What color exactly... “#D00009”?  Huh.  That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707.  In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago...  no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color.  (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out?  That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image!  FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power.  Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!?  D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right?  Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear?  I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck?  WHY would you do that?  Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”?  What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh?  Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden.  Properly dramatic?  You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative.  Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now.  From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring.  I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um.  What?  Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again???  Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping.  I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though.  Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads.  (But still June.  Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course.  (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty?  We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence.  (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit.  And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve.  Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her?  Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion.  Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh.  Hm... huh? hhhh.  huh?  what, but.  Why would.  ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange.  Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?)  Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave?  Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe?  Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update.  Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed.  For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it?  Or skimming it?  But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.  Weird.  Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here.  About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really?  That was speculated about?  :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything. 

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side.  To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers.  Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up.  Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character. 

:p

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out. 

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy.  --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid...  but I think we can make an exception here?  I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half.  Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria? 

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight.  BUSY day I had.  Y’all take care!

[writingbakery]

Bakugou being forced into a couple costume contest ;3

oh bb anon, im HYPE 💓

first of all, bakugo katsuki has not & will never be forced to do something. if he doesn’t wanna do that shit he ain’t DOIN’ IT, plain & simple.

so when you tell him you’ve signed the pair of you up for a couples costume contest, he’s immediately uninterested.

“absolutely fucking not.”

“but ‘sukiiiiiiii.”

“not in a million goddamn years.”

but then you’re looking up at him with that expression, the one that make his brain go all fuzzy and his heart skip two beats a second, with the fuckin’ puppy eyes and-

fuck. shit. god-fuckin’-damnit.

“fuckin’ fine, jesus christ just stop lookin’ at me like that-“

despite all his earlier complaining he’s secretly excited about this. he likes a challenge, likes to win, and you don’t know if you’re more worried or excited about the gleam in his eyes.

he’s definitely going to go overboard, sparing no expense as he helps you create the most elaborate, over the top and detailed costumes ever. he’s gonna bust his ass to make sure you love them because he’d do anything to see you happy, big softie that he is.

when you try to call him out on it though, its denial denial denial - not just a river in egypt, baby.

scoffs “of course im not actually excited for this shitty competition. i’m just damn well not gonna lose to some bullshitters who half ass their costumes, you got that? hey, stop fuckin’ laughing-“

and of course, because he’s katsuki bakugo, absolute genius at everything he does, you both go home with first place. you’re smothering him in grateful kisses the second you’re able, and despite all his grumbling there’s a smile to his lips, pink all over his cheeks.

“next year we’re gonna destroy ‘em even worse.”

oh boy.

[im a sucker for soft bakugo, sue me! hope you enjoy 💓]

[permanent-goblin]

Blue Lily, Lily Blue comments.

YALL KNOW THE DRILL IT WONT BE A LONG ONE CAUSE IFINISHED IT BUT FUCK THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!

So, first of all, i fucking want Gansey and Blue to gettogether already, literally i think if anything Adam would be happy for them because i think they understand at this point that they wouldn’t have worked out SO FUCKING HUG, HOLD HANDS AND KISS ALREADY THE FUCKING TENSION IS BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND TOO POWERFUL TO STAND FOR GODS SAKE YOU TWO.

The lack of The Grey Man in this book was weirdly sad, i kept thinking and wondering where the frick he was in all this and I kind of of miss getting chapters in his perspective. Also im honestly wondering how it will work out with him and Maura considering Artemus is back.

And on that not, MAN BLUE FOUND ARTEMUS FREAKING EASILY, LIKE JUST BAM THERE HEWAS WITH MAURA UNMOVING. Idk why i always imagined him appearing in a more fantastical way to Blue, like oh hey im your father or some shit, but like i was so thrown off they he didnt even know he had a child and was like WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE MAURA. and i was like “of course he doesn't bloody know” but i also dont remember the time in  which he vanished, if it was around when Maura was pregnant i get it then, anyways im rambling about that.

I am seeing the end for Noah coming closer and closer and i hate what everything is doing to him, like this poor boy let him be his precious bean self that i silently wished he ended of with blue in another universe.

Ronan and Adam are getting closer so thats good. What's interesting is i started this series because of the love of the RonanXAdam ship, and im glad if they get together or what not, but like im here for Blue and Gansey, FUCK EVERYONE ELSE I NEED THEM HAPPY AND TOGETHER GOD DAMNIT.

I felt allot more somber than i thought i would when Jessie died, like we all knew it was going to happen but a part of me hoped he would live, we will miss you, you spaghettios loving giant.

So Persephone dying didnt ’t mess me up, like im super sad she is dead, cause i loved the relationship she had with Adam, but like the part in her death that messed me up and almost broke me was when blue pretty much begged Calla not to go into the cave. Like Blue had already lost so much, and didn’t need to lose more.

And y’all im living for the animal skeleton bone yard coming alive it was the greatest that ever i swear.

Piper Being a threat was the only thing that threw me off and kind of disappointed me, i think we are going to find out more of her in the last book, but like in this book she was so dull and uninteresting, besides her love of the supernatural, that it fell short for me.

And lastly, FUCKIING, NEEVE IS FUCKING ALIVE GUYS SHE IS FUCKING ALIVE, I HAD HOPED SHE HAD LIVED AND HSE IS FUCKING ALIVE. I’m a little concerned that she might be on the bad guys side or whoever the third sleepers side is but like im glad she is alive nonetheless. But i really hope she isn’t bad in the end, I really liked Neeve in the first book, and i really want her to be on her families side.

My biggest interest is in who the third sleeper is and why he shouldn’t be woken up, like i really hope Artemus has some answers since he literal is integral in this whole thing.

AND WHOO we finally are going find Glendower, fucking finally that dude needs to wake up and make these poor kids happy for the love of god, but also this means Gansey is going to die in the next book which i am not ready for y’all thats gonna tear my heart out.

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[attractive-but-illegible]

hiya! q from an incoming maroon (will i get to start college at college? idk) i chose uchi for the rigor & intellectual atmosphere, but im a lil nervous ill absolutely lose my mind and forget to do human things bc of the stress of classes & research & internships. do you have any tips for maintaining a healthy balance at uchi? (fyi: v much a humanities person, but i also ♥️ theoretical science and got a’s all around thru hs, so im not 100% balanced but im decent w #s)

Yo! First off, congrats to getting in to uchicago, it's a tough school to get into! You should feel very proud of that. Secondly, I'll be honest – there seems to be a big difference between the experience of humanities/sosc majors versus STEM majors. I'm humanities, and I didn't have any trouble maintaining a healthy life/school balance. My STEM friends, however, were under a lot more pressure to overperform. That isn't to say that STEM ppl at uchicago can't have a stress free life. I think it's just that the culture of the departments is very different. There's this expectation that STEM ppl will pull all nighters and brag about how many hours they spent on one lab report, but that kind of culture doesn't really exist in humanities and social science departments as much. So if you're a humanities person then I really wouldn't worry about it. The overall atmosphere is much more chill. Another important thing to remember is that YOU get to choose the intensity of your academic life. You have the option of taking 3 or 4 classes every quarter, so if you need a break you can always just go down to 3 classes for a bit. And I'll be honest – you can also just choose not to care as much. I didn't care if I got C's in classes that I was only taking for the Core (so like, science and math that had nothing to do with my interests) so I didn't stress about them as much. Granted, I still stressed about them, but what I'm saying is that you don't have to throw yourself into that culture of 24 hour grind. One thing I will say though is that in a way, being a straight A student in high school will be a disadvantage. Why? Because you WON'T be a straight A student at uchicago. No one is. I was an A's and B's student in high school (with an occasional C in math bc i suck at math) so when I got to Uchicago, I was already used to getting less-than-perfect grades. My BFF was a straight A student, and she had a mental breakdown the first time she got a B in college. What I'm saying is, you just have to get used to the idea that you won't be getting straight A's anymore, and THAT'S OKAY. Grades are just letters! Seriously, they're so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. What matters is that you're learning and enriching yourself. In terms of making sure you still have a normal social life, here are some things I'd keep in mind: - Do stuff with your house! It's so easy to take a break from homework and walk to your house lounge for the weekly movie night or whatever and is so good for your mental health. - Join extracurriculars. Just try out anything that sounds interesting. There are a lot of awesome RSOs on campus and they'll give you a lot of cool things to think about and work on that aren't homework or class. - SLEEP. GOD DAMNIT, FUCKING SLEEP. I am so sick of the glorification of self-neglect in academia. Don't listen to people who brag about pulling all nighters all the time. Make getting at least 6 hours of sleep a priority. If that means you don't completely finish your homework, so be it. It's not the end of the world. - Get out of your dorm room! Studying in the libraries or cafes is great because it reminds you that the outside world exists, and you'll often run into friends! This has been a long and rambling response but I hope it answers some of your questions! Feel free to message again if there's anything I didn't cover here. :) And good luck in the fall (provided that we can actually like, you know, go to school).