#but give me the super squads jackets

[desperatecheesecubes]

Feel like I haven’t reminded y’all how much I love Conner in a while

[kentopedia]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ LEAVING LIPSTICK STAINS ON LEVI

fem!reader, sfw, fluff, you leave lipstick all over levi before a mission and the scouts find out, just something super cutesy & short while i work on some longer pieces hehe, pls ignore errors lol, 1.3k words

“promise you’ll come back in one piece?” you say, smoothing the wrinkle between levi’s brow with a kiss. 

he glances up at you from under his lashes, crinkling his nose as a short, breathy laugh escapes him, one he tries to subdue. still, he can’t deny the happiness that slips onto his features, not when joy is so fleeting because of the life that the two of you live. 

cold hands run across your back, down to your hips as you straighten his collar, kissing his sharp cheekbones, the bridge of his nose. “i’ve made it this far, haven’t i?” levi mutters, squeezing your sides gently before shifting you off of his lap.

he lifts you, sets you on the edge of his desk, causing some of the papers that erwin had dropped off earlier to crinkle. a smile graces your lips as levi stands, stretching his limbs behind him, the chair pushing away from the desk with a creak.

“i’m going to be late because of you,” levi remarks, eyes narrowed playfully, but he gives you another kiss on the lips, lingering there like it’s painful to pull away.

“then stop kissing me.” your hands splay across his chest, but you don’t push him away, feeling his heart beat under his ribcage, the melody that you will always come back to. still, levi tugs your hips forward, slots in between your legs, and kisses you even deeper. “it’s time for you to go, captain levi.” 

a heavy sigh weighs against your mouth, his exhale warm as he pulls back. “sounds like you want me gone.” 

“of course i don’t.” your voice softens as you play with his fingers for a moment, before he's tugging them away gently, withdrawing from your figure. “i'm going to have to find someone else to sleep next to while you’re away."

normally, you would’ve been going with levi and the rest of the scouts, but an injury from your last mission prevented you from going on any more for a few weeks. 

levi snorts, putting on his jacket, fixing the leather straps across his chest. “is that all i’m good for? killing titans and keeping your bed warm?”

you make a face at him, then shrug, half-hearted as he stares back at you with amusement. then, you laugh, cheerful and free; you know levi will come back to you. he has no other choice. 

levi makes his way towards the door. 

“levi?” 

he turns, the lipstick stains still visible on his cheek, dark against his pale skin. for a moment, you wonder if you should tell him—if he’d be mad if you didn’t. 

but then you remember he’s going to meet with a squad of fifteen year olds that have all almost died alongside him. if they really have a problem with their captain being loved by you, then they don’t care about him as much as you thought. 

you smile and shake your head, voice holding just enough mischief for levi to notice. “just be safe. i love you.” 

he softens. there are times where levi is hesitant to say the words, still worried you will be taken from him. but this is not one of those times. not when you will be separated for days, his life once again in danger. “i love you too, sweetheart.”

within ten minutes, levi is down to the first floor, pushing into the room where the members of his squad are already waiting. 

he’s only a minute late, but he feels like they must have been waiting for hours, the way that they are all gawking at him with wide eyes, connie’s jaw faltering slightly. “everyone here?” levi asks, doing a quick scan of the room, counting heads like he’s their babysitter. 

no one says anything. eren’s eyes look like they might bulge out of his head, and jean covers his mouth, looking away as him and sasha let out a stifled giggle. 

levi’s mouth draws into an even thinner line. “what the hell are you snickering about?" he grumbles, looking at each of them individually, wondering who will be the first to confess. 

their eyes dart away dramatically, faces red. even eren, who is normally more obnoxious than the rest, seems to have run out of words to say. 

his eye twitches; levi wonders if connie’s head might burst, or if sasha’s laugh will rip out of her first. 

“well?” levi asks again, snapping, already tired of this mission. a hot cup of tea sounds nice, in bed next to you.

armin, as usual, is the one to speak up when no one else has anything intelligent to say. “well, sir,” the blonde says, gesturing towards his own face. “i think…”

levi touches his cheek, remembering all the places you’d kissed him earlier, wearing that pretty black dress and your dark lipstick. a sigh leaves him when he pulls his fingers away, the tips coming back, smeared with a deep red. 

he should've known.

“i see," levi says, staring for a moment, before meeting eren's eyes, his lips finally widening into a grin.

“ooooh," eren sings, his expression smug as mikasa elbows him, her own features pinched tight. "the captain’s in looooove."

levi knows they are expecting a reaction, a spectacle of the fact that he adores you. but he’s never kept it a secret, and he’s certainly not ashamed of all the things he feels for you. 

“and what if i am?” levi asks instead, pointedly staring eren down as the rest of the scouts watch the exchange. “honestly, i am surprised no one noticed sooner.”

eren’s jaw falters a bit; a small wave of silence falls over the scouts. you and levi don't make a point of hiding your relationship, but really, levi shouldn’t have been surprised that no one in his squad was observant enough to notice. 

or so he thought, anyway.

historia’s smaller, high-pitched voice breaks up the quiet, repeating your name back to him, as if affirmation that you’re the one he kisses goodnight. a silly question really, considering levi has never looked at anyone else with the same kind of tenderness. 

“it is her, isn’t it?” historia asks, smiling softly. “i only know because you’re always holding hands under the table when you think no one can see.”

levi raises his eyebrow. “clearly we were wrong about that.” though, of all the things to notice, he thought it’d be the way you kiss him after every mission, the way he’s harder on you than anyone else because he doesn’t want to lose you.

eren shrieks your name like he’s never heard it before, and levi is starting to wonder if the boy actually is an idiot. his old squad had known immediately; petra caught you sneaking up to levi’s quarters when you thought everyone else was asleep, kissing him on the cheek when you thought everyone's back was turned. 

it’s been a long time since then, he supposes. maybe the years have taught you subtlety. 

“how long have you been together?”

“does she actually like you?” 

“do you—” connie makes a lewd gesture with his fingers. “you know.” 

“connie!” jean shouts, whacking him on the back of the head. “what do you think! dumbass.” 

“hey!" connie says, rubbing his head. “geez. i just can’t picture it.” 

"i’d rather you didn’t." levi’s face turns sour, disturbed by a room full of teenagers discussing his private and romantic life. “bring it up again and i’ll leave you outside of the wall on the next mission.” he pauses, crosses his arms with an exasperated exhale. “and she likes me just fine. at least, she has for the past five years.” 

“five—” 

a new wave of questioning starts and levi pinches his temples, shakes his head, the red smear of lipstick still on his face.

levi almost wishes you could’ve been there to field the questions instead. you’ve always been better with the kids, connected with them a lot easier than levi had.

even if it was would’ve exposed his lovesick eyes, the tiny lift of the corner of his mouth when you were around.

he’s never been very good about hiding it anyway.

[kannouo]

I'm so lucky, lucky!

fandom: obey me pairing: demon brothers x gn!reader warnings: none prompt by @ember-is-clueless: Can I request the brothers with an extremely lucky MC? The MC might not go to gamble a lot but when they do they win every time, it also strays off to other aspects like if they guess which answer is right on a test, they get it correct. Thank you <3 A/N: ty for the request <333 I hope this is okay. this idea was pretty fun to think about actually as there are a lot of scenarios that could happen surrounding this. i also went super far with just how lucky the mc is lol, just letting you know i basically went the superpower route.

LUCIFER

• Lucifer notices how lucky you are very early on during your stay at the Devildom.

• You were somehow always in exactly the right place at the right time to avoid his and his brothers' wrath. When demons at RAD would make any attempt to harm you, you would just happen to run into him or even Diavolo himself before they could do anything. In fact, even when you went against his orders and went out late alone, you would always come back unscathed.

• Lucifer doesn't believe in luck, and therefore isn't comfortable relying on chance alone to keep you out of danger. It might save him a headache or two, but overall, he won't loosen up his overprotective tendencies. What if the one time he puts his faith in your luck to protect you, something goes wrong?

• He realises later on that your luck comes into play with him too. Whenever you're caught alongside the anti-Lucifer squad — if he ever even manages to catch you in the first place — he always just happens to be in a merciful mood that day, so the punishments you all receive are comparatively light.

• He is trying to work on this. He can't have anyone thinking he's gone soft.

• Is admittedly impressed by your ability to pass any test by guessing the answers, but cannot support you getting by on just that. He will still enforce studying time for you and insists you actually make an effort with your schoolwork, even if you don't think it's necessary.

• Lucifer is not amused when his brothers start trying to drag you everywhere with them to use your luck to their advantage, and encourages you not to let them do so. Even if you don't mind it, nothing good comes from them getting their way all of the time.

You were really in trouble this time. Caught trying to give a cup of coffee laced with one of Satan's newest concoctions to Lucifer, it seemed lady luck was absent today. You knelt before him with your head lowered as he glared down at you, but just as he opened his mouth to begin his lecture... CRASH! You jumped at the loud sound of glass shattering in the hallway, followed by a yelp that sounded suspiciously like Mammon. You turned to Lucifer, who had directed his attention to the door, where the sound came from. "MAAAMMOOOOON?" As Lucifer stormed over to the door and out into the hallway, you lived to thank your lucky charms another day.

MAMMON

• Mammon noticed you were lucky pretty quickly, but it took him a while to realise just how lucky.

• He'd make jokes about how lucky you seemed to get all the time for going out at just the right time to always conveniently avoid Lucifer's wrath, but he only took it seriously when he challenged you to a game of poker and lost all of his savings, as well as the jacket and belt he was wearing at the time. He was stunned.

• Mammon might have a reputation for losing all of his money on gambling, but that doesn't mean he's bad at it. He just suffers from the same habit a lot of gambling addicts do — he can't stop. He wins and wins until he loses. So, now knowing you're even luckier than he is...

• How do you feel about being a walking lucky charm?

• He'll take you with him to casinos as "arm candy" and have you blow on his dice before he makes a move, or even just play the round in his place and split the winnings. You don't even have to know the game, just go with your gut and you'll end up winning by complete chance.

• Another thing he likes to do is walk up to random demons and make a bet such as, "do you think this human here can flip a coin that'll land on heads 10 times in a row?" It being a statistical unlikelihood, the demon will usually allow Mammon to take one of their pennies (so they know it's not a fake) and bet against it. They never bet that much grimm on it, but the shocked look on the demons' faces every time as you just keep landing on heads is completely worth it.

• Lucifer isn't happy about any of this.

• Don't worry though. Outside of making bets surrounding you and dragging you to casinos with him, he's practically your personal servant. He has to butter you up so you don't refuse next time, you know? So, he waits on hand and foot for you all day. Practically worships you.

"MC! MC, babe!" You peeked over the couch as you heard Mammon shouting your name from the hall. Just as he passed by the living room, he caught sight of you and broke into a grin, hurrying over and leaning over the back of the sofa. "There ya are! C'mere, take a look..." You shuffled closer so you could get a view of what he was holding. "...Lottery tickets?" You questioned, glancing up at him. "Yeah! I just bought 'em— will you scratch 'em out for me, baby? Please?" He begged. "I'll do anythin' ya want!"

LEVIATHAN

• Levi takes a while to find out about this ability because of how much time he spends in his room. There are very little opportunities for your luck to come into play there... except for in video games.

• The first time you demolished him in a game you told him you had never played before by pure chance, he demanded rematch after rematch until he solemnly concluded that it wasn't going anywhere. You were pretty sure he hated you for it, judging by his refusal to talk to you or message you afterwards, until he invited you back to his room again, this time to play a co-op game together.

• Predictably, he's jealous of your luck. How come you don't even have to try, and all these good things just seem to come to you naturally? It's not fair.

• He mostly gets over any petty resentment he holds after you two start to get closer, and actually really enjoys games where he can team up with you. He's pretty bad at explaining controls, but it doesn't even matter because you always end up with the luckiest possible circumstances. You contribute even when you aren't trying to.

• Thinks it's hilarious a lot of the time, too. If he's in a voice chat lobby he'll start mocking the other players for losing so badly against a total noob. He's surprisingly toxic.

• One time, Levi had to leave his room because Diavolo had arranged a student council meeting on the day where a special, limited-edition figurine of one of his favourite shows was dropping. He damn near had to be dragged away from his computer by Lucifer, and was sulking the whole meeting. Why today of all days...?

• But you just so happened to pull out your DDD and open Akuzon at the exact moment the figurine dropped. Blissfully unaware, you ordered it, thinking nothing more of it other than "Levi will probably like this".

• He was devastated when the figurine was already sold out by the time he got home, but when it showed up at the door anyway, he couldn't decide between being ecstatic and confused. Was this some kind of miracle?!

• When you explained that you had ordered it for him, he literally drops to his knees and starts thanking and praising you.

• Joins Mammon as your second personal servant.

"LOLOLOL, I thought you losers said you were good at this game!" Levi taunted into his headset, provoking the other players in the lobby to talk back, hurling all kinds of insults his and your way in response. "How much of a normie do you have to be to lose that bad against a total noob?" "Levi," you hit his shoulder. "Stop it." Levi looked at you then paused, a sly smile forming on his face as he listened to the other players yell. "They're saying I carried." You furrowed your brow. "Like hell you did! Oh, it's on."

SATAN

• Also doesn't really believe in luck, but his opinion can be changed if you allow him to experiment with it a little.

• Here's a pop quiz about various subjects in the Devildom you should, by all sound logic, know nothing about. Let's see how you perform when all you can do is guess. Huh... they're all correct. Alright then — could you crack this egg for him? Just a regular egg, and he'll see... its a triple yolk. Well... for the final test, here's a random lottery ticket. You couldn't possibly—... did you just hit a jackpot? Seriously?

• After a while of "observing" your unnatural abilities, he is eventually forced to conclude that lady luck really does exist, and she plays favourites.

• Your luck definitely comes in handy, and he will use it to his advantage, mainly to gain the upper-hand in pranking Lucifer. As long as you're around or are the one performing it, it's far more likely for their pranks to succeed. And if they get caught, the punishments are always far less severe, so they can get back to finding new ways to inconvenience Lucifer as fast as possible.

• He also likes bringing you with him to bookstores, because whenever you wander around or randomly pick out a book, it always happens to be some kind of rare edition or cursed book that is... for some reason in a public bookstore. And it's not like the curse will hurt you either. No, you're just too lucky for that.

• Sort of develops a more laid-back attitude to what you do overtime, unlike Lucifer. Satan has full faith in your luck, and doesn't tend to worry much about your safety. That isn't to say he doesn't care, more like he believes fate itself will always keep you safe.

• Also, whenever he takes you to cat cafes or areas popular with stray cats, they always surround you and jump up onto your lap. Even the feistiest of cats are calm enough to be pet by you. He loves this, and tries to take you with him every time he goes out somewhere like that.

"Pspspspsps..." "Oh, that's Paprika. She doesn't have an owner and is scared of people, so she won't—" Satan's sentence was cut short by the usually shy and aggressive kitty jumping up into your lap. She 'mrrp'ed as you pet and cooed at her, and it took you a moment to notice the utter silence from the man next to you. "Satan? What's wrong?" He blinked and gazed lovingly at you, completely starry-eyed. "...I love you."

ASMODEUS

• He knew you were lucky right off the bat. I mean, you had to be with looks like yours. You basically won the genetic lottery!

• Obviously, your abilities go far beyond just good looks. But he honestly doesn't care as much as his brothers do about all of that. He's much more focused on how you are absolutely slaying every single outfit you try on! No matter how hideous a combination is, you always make it look good... How?!

• I would say he's jealous, but that would be a lie. He's still hotter, obviously... but you're close second! Well, no, you're not that close behind, but still!

• If there's anything he is jealous of, it's your lack of bedhead. He's drawing a line, it's completely unfair for you to wake up looking perfect every morning.

• If Asmo were to ever use your luck to his advantage, it would be to score his most desired modelling shoots. Just having you near him makes scouts more likely to approach him, and having you in a picture makes it go instantly viral. You're his lucky charm for stuff like that.

• Doesn't approve of his brothers stealing you away for all kinds of shenanigans though. Mostly because it's taking your attention away from where it should be, on him. He may not take advantage of your luck as frequently as the others, but if that's what it takes to have you all to himself, he might start to!

• Designs a cute little four-leaf clover accessory for you to wear, like a bracelet or a hairclip.

"MC, honey!~" Asmo came running into your room, a big smile on his face. Before you could even speak, he latched his arms around you in a bone-crushing hug, kissing all over your face. "Thank you so much for getting me that photoshoot~ it was amazing!" Confused, you wriggled around for a bit of freedom, and he loosened his grip on you. "I didn't get you anything?" "Of course you did, sweetheart! It's all thanks to you I was lucky enough to come across an opportunity like that~ so, how about a special reward for my favourite lucky charm, hm?~"

BEELZEBUB

• Beel is unlikely to notice unless your luck is pointed out to him. Not because he's stupid or doesn't pay attention to you, but because he just doesn't think in that way. He'll notice when things seem to conveniently always go your way, but he doesn't piece all of those events together and come to the conclusion that you have absurd luck on his own.

• It's only when one of his brothers comment on it that the puzzle pieces all connect and he's like "ooooh." His only real reaction beyond that is a shrug. He frankly doesn't care that much.

• He notices that whenever he takes you out to eat, he always ends up with extra food on his plate that he didn't ask for. He notices that there always happen to be extra replacements for any ingredients he eats when he's on dinner duty, as long as you're in the house. He notices how some vendors are more willing to give him samples on-the-house when you're by his side. It's just not the main reason why he wants you around all the time.

• He loves you because of how unique you are and because of how much you've helped his family. Your luck is convenient, yes, but he doesn't go out of his way to use it for himself. The last thing he wants is for you to think he's using you.

• ...He might ask you to help him sneak food into places though.

• Beel is also unlikely to put much faith in your luck to keep you safe. He knows you've managed to evade danger in the past, but he'd much rather protect you himself so he can be sure.

• Even though he doesn't use your luck to his advantage, he'll ask a lot of questions about what you've been able to do with it in the past. He might ask you to try out a few things solely for experimental purposes, but it's usually just to see how far-reaching your luck actually is. Treats it like a superpower, which it kind of is.

• Such as: what if someone tells you to cook a meal you've never heard of without a recipe? If you just try random stuff, will you end up with a good meal anyway? You tried that one out — the answer was, somehow, yes.

You felt a rough tap on your shoulder. Turning, you were met with Beel, looking very guilty and with a bag full of snacks. "Can you hide these in your coat?" He asked. "Beel, we're at a movie theatre..." You spoke with a hushed voice, looking around warily. "We can just buy popcorn." "I know, but... just popcorn isn't enough." He looked at you with such sad eyes that you couldn't help but give in. You took the bag from him, tucking it under your arm, and he lit up. "Thank you, MC."

BELPHEGOR

• Sure, he noticed, but was pretty sure he wouldn't care about it at all. He sleeps through most days anyway, so...

• He was totally wrong, though. He remembers waking up next to you one morning, cuddled snugly into your chest and arms lazily draped over you from the night before. Groaning, he turned and looked over at his bedside clock... 12:00, it read. He blinked. Had he slept through the beginning of RAD? Without Lucifer or Beel coming to wake him? Seemed unlikely...

• It was only when he checked his DDD that he saw a few messages in the House of Lamentation group chat of Lucifer informing everyone that there had been some sort of mishap with a potion, so RAD's halls were closed off for the day, and perhaps tomorrow. How lucky, he thought. He gets to spend all day in bed with... MC.

• Anyway, he tries to sleep in your bed literally every night from then on, because whenever he does there always seems to be some kind of event that causes RAD to be cancelled or delayed.

• Lucifer bans him from doing this after realising it. He can't just have the entire school year amount to nothing because classes kept getting cancelled, after all. Belphie was not happy about this at all.

• Even when staying overnight with MC is banned, he'll still find ways to use their luck to his convenience. When he naps on them or near them, he's far less likely to be disturbed from his sleep. There's also the bonus of MC helping him and Satan get away with their pranks on Lucifer more often.

• That's what he gets for revoking Belphie's sleepover privileges.

• Your luck sometimes backfires on him, though. Whenever he tries to pull a prank on you, it always goes horribly wrong. To be fair, he probably should have predicted that outcome.

"Belphie... wake up..." You spoke softly into Belphie's ear and he twitched in his sleep. All it took was a few more gentle shakes and he finally stirred, looking at you with sleepy eyes. "Come on, it's time to get up." "What?" He huffed and rested his head back down on top of you. "RAD's cancelled... I don't need to get up..." "It—" You paused and blinked down at the avatar of Sloth. True, it was cancelled for the day, but that announcement was only made about thirty minutes ago. Belphie had been sound asleep. "—How did you know it was cancelled?" The only response you got was a smirk and a knowing look before he went right back to sleep.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Playing Favourites

Arsenal Women x Child!Reader

Summary: You definitely have favourites in the Arsenal squad

Leah, as a football player, is very cool.

Leah, as a sister, is a bit annoying.

It's clear to everyone that you were the happy little accident of the family, so much younger than your siblings, but Leah especially enjoyed taking you everywhere with her.

It wasn't uncommon for her to kidnap you from Milton Keynes and make the long drive back to the Arsenal training grounds. Honestly, your parents kind of just accepted Leah's loud presence in your life without complaint.

She was quite annoying though, sometimes. Like now, when she woke you up super early to take you to practice with her.

You were grouchy and moody but looked especially cute in your Arsenal puffer jacket and your little hat.

"Come on, bean," She says, hoisting you up onto her hip as you lag behind.

"Leah," You whine," Tired."

"I know," She says," I know but we're gonna have a lot of fun today. I promise."

You groan anyway, going limp in her arms as she wanders into the locker room. She sets you on your feet as she changes and you groan again as you wander around in an exhausted haze.

You bump into Viv and give her the international sign of 'pick me up please' - grabby hands. She holds you a bit like you're a bomb about to go off but you're relieved all the same. Viv's comfortable and you're happy to rest in her arms.

Jen approaches. "Hey, baby Williamson," She says, reaching out to push your hair out of your face.

You make an annoyed noise and turn away, burying further into Viv - who relaxed slightly now that you've gotten comfortable.

"Oh, come on." Jen pops up on your other side. "You can't really be choosing Viv over me? I'm way more fun!"

You turn your head away again and shut your eyes. Your breathing slowly changes into soft puffs against Viv's collarbone and your head lulls.

Viv has to change her hold to make sure you don't go tumbling to the ground.

"Looking good Miedema!" Beth wolf whistles but Viv ignores her, focussed on making sure that your hat is firmly on your head.

You're kind of in a half-sleep state - still kind of awake to know that Viv is moving outside with you but asleep enough that when your eyes finally blink open again, you feel more well rested than when Leah got you bundled into the car this morning.

You rub at your eyes and stubbornly turn away from Leah when she comes over to grab you.

"Bean," She says in disbelief as you slip from her grasp and hide behind the better Lia's legs," Come on! Are you still upset?"

"She woke me up early," You tell Lia, who affectionately rubs a hand through your hair. "Meanie." You stick your tongue out.

Lia laughs. "Yeah, she is a meanie."

"Meanie!" You say again.

"Hey! I'm your sister! You can't call me that!"

"Meanie! Meanie! Meanie!" You stamp your feet and glare.

Lia laughs and hoists you up onto her hip when your sister goes to grab you. "Come on, bean," She says," Let's get away from this meanie!"

You spend a lot of training with Lia and you also branch out to Kyra too. You don't know her at all. She's very new to the team and she's Australian too, like Caitlin and Steph, so she's very exciting.

You kick the ball away from her, one hand wrapped tightly around her shorts so she can't run away from you.

"You're Leah's sister, right? y/n?"

You nod. "Uh-huh. You're Kyra."

"I am."

"You've got a cool accent," You say. You take her hand, swinging it back and forth," Let's be friends."

She sends you a silly smile, kneeling down to your level. "I know another little girl like you. Her name's Harper. You can't be much older."

You nod along. "Does that mean you know how to play?"

"I do know how to play. What do you want to do?"

You think for a moment before slapping her on the leg. "You're it!" You turned to run as fast as your little legs will carry you.

Kyra laughs as she runs after you, catching up to you a few times but dramatically tripping on her own feet when she's about to tag you.

You weave through the groups of girls training, ducking and dashing through their open legs so Kyra can't grab at you.

"Whoa, bean!" Steph says, grabbing you by your waist when you clamber through the gap between her legs," Be careful. I could have crushed you."

From the angle she's holding you at, you can't quite see Kyra yet. You don't know where she's going to pop out of so you try to push Steph's hands off of you, not at all in the mood to play her games.

"Whoa! You got somewhere to be, bean? You can't hang out with me?"

"Let go!" You say firmly, trying to push her hands off," Kyra's gonna get me. Let go, Steph!"

Steph sets you down at your insistence, glancing around, but doesn't quite relinquish her grip on you. "Sorry to break it to you, bean, but I think Jonas needs Kyra for something."

"Steph!" You groan as though it's her fault that Kyra could no longer find you.

"Sorry," She says," How about I play with you instead? That'll be fun, huh, bean?"

You roll your eyes, turning away. "No, Steph. You never play right."

With your game with Kyra suitably ruined by adult jobs and all of your running finally catching up to you, you end up near Lotte.

She's always nice and calm and lets you nap against when you're sleepy.

You're yawning when you finally make it over to her and the new girl. You recognise the new girl vaguely but you're very sleepy and Lotte looks nice and warm so you clamber onto her lap without thinking.

"Oh!" The new girl says, almost gasping at your sudden appearance.

"Leah's little sister," Lotte explains. She jostles you slightly. "Hey, bean, say hi to Alessia."

"Hi, Alessia," You parrot but your attention is waning and that's all the words they get out of you as you sag against Lotte's chest.

"I think I recognise her," Alessia says," Leah gave away her Euro's medal to her, after we won."

"I have all of Leah's medals," You slur, somehow still awake.

Your shirt's ridden up a bit so Alessia moves to pull it down, only to get her hands clumsily swatted away. "No," You say," No play. Sleep."

"Don't mind bean," Lotte explains," She needs a nap and Katie's favourite thing is pulling her shirt up and blowing raspberries on her stomach."

Alessia laughs and that rubs you the wrong way and you uselessly swat in her general direction. "Sleep," You insist," Night-Night."

You conk out pretty quickly on Lotte's chest when new-girl-Alessia finally quietens. You're not quite sure how long you were sleeping because you come back into awareness inside so there's no moving sun to see if you were sleeping a long time.

You recognise these arms though and you really don't want to be in them, given your rather sour start to the day. With your uncoordinated limbs, you try to push yourself away but the person holding you keeps readjusting their grip, keeping you trapped.

"No," You whine," No, wrong. Wrong."

"Wrong?" You sister laughs," What's wrong, bean?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Want the other Leah," You insist," Lia! Lia!"

"Give her here." You're transferred into the Lia you wants' arms and relax instantly into them, yawning and rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"Oh, I see," Your actual Leah scoffed," I see, bean. Playing favourites? Really? You don't even have good taste. We all know I'm the superior LW."

"No!" You say stubbornly," Lia's the best!"

Lia laughs, hoisting you up further on her hip. "Well," She says," The bean has spoken."

[ridiasfangirlings]

I just saw the monster fucker Saru x Monster Yata ask and it just reminded me of that fanart of centaur Yata on twt. Any thoughts?

….I don’t know if I’ve seen that fan art and it seems relevant to my interests O^O Imagine this with Yata getting hit by like the centaur Strain, suddenly he’s half horse and Kusanagi is having to rethink his ban on horses in the bar. Say this is post-ROK and Fushimi and Yata were out chasing the Strain together, once Yata’s hit he’s all struggling to stand with his sudden extra feet and Fushimi’s just snickering because this isn’t time for horsing around Misaki. Yata’s all shut up and help me stand, Fushimi notes that baby foals learn to stand quickly, is Yata less intelligent than a foal. On the bright side Yata is now taller than Fushimi, Fushimi clicks his tongue and says if he wants to sleep in S4’s stables tonight they have room.

Yata eventually manages to stumble into the bar, he almost breaks something and Kusanagi has to politely turn him out. The Homra guys find this pretty funny though, wondering if they should call him Basashi now. Chitose makes a joke about Yata ‘giving Fushimi a ride’ and Yata just stares blankly as the Homra guys all laugh, like I mean I guess he could fit on my back and he’s not that heavy. Chitose just tells him to think about it more, and notes that Fushimi did throw his jacket over Yata’s horse half like a blanket (Yata probably ended up naked after getting hit so he’s put his own spare sweatshirt over his human half). Yata’s like yeah he told me not to take this off, I don’t get why, and everyone is like probably so you don’t traumatize anyone walking around half naked. Yata suddenly realizes that his horse half actually does have, uh, a lot showing, and he gets all red as he pulls Fushimi’s coat lower over his back half. 

He can’t go back to his apartment for the night due to the stairs so he does probably end up in S4, not in Fushimi’s room (the dorms aren’t really horse-friendly) but they find like an empty storage room by the barn and stick a mattress in it for him. Fushimi comes by to bring him dinner and they’re just chatting, Yata keeps giving Fushimi little looks because he’s wondering if Fushimi did give him the jacket on purpose. Fushimi tries to take his jacket back and Yata’s like ‘no! I mean, uh…it’s fine…’, super red in the face. Fushimi rolls his eyes all it’s nothing I haven’t seen before idiot, Yata’s like well it’s a lot bigger than I’ve had before. The moment he says it he gets all embarrassed and slaps his hand over his mouth, Fushimi gets this amused look like is that so. He leans in for a kiss and Yata’s like wait we can’t do this when I’m half centaur, Fushimi says they’re far enough away from the rest of the squad that no one will hear them. Yata suddenly finds his mouth very dry as he returns the kiss, he did not expect this to be a thing Fushimi would be into but now he’s having thoughts and it’s making him feel very hot all of a sudden.

[dispatchvampire]

Accidentally In Love (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x FemaleOC

Warnings: Potentially lethal levels of fluffiness right now, potential for smut later. A little blood, canon levels of violence potentially. Plus size female OC, body descriptions.

Rating: PG-13 (right now for language, but look for this to change)

WC: 2200-ish.

Summary: 

Echo's living a normal life in NYC, a 911 dispatcher, the most excitement she gets is from the calls she takes. And then love comes crashing in one day when she's riding her bike through Central Park.

Steve and Bucky weren't looking for anything on their daily run around the park besides fresh air and exercise. The streak of purple eye candy on a bike that lapped them pretty regularly was a nice addition but not mandatory, at least until some impromptu roughhousing results in some civilian casualties in the form of the most beautiful woman either of them had seen in a long, long time.

A/N: AU, Post CACW, Bucky’s Chill and we have always lived in the Tower. Just call this a throwback to the found family, everyone lives in Stark Tower fics.

This is supposed to be a super-fluffy love story. Still undecided if I'm gonna keep this one going but posting now for giggles and grins. It's got some CSI:NY characters crossing over because why not.

I'm just messing about and playing in my WIPs folder. Not Beta'd: we die like men! (honestly, I tried but if you catch something I missed, let me know)

Chapter 1

Five miles at a time. Everything in the early morning hours was measured five miles at a time for Echo Nerys and her trusty mountain bike. From 6:30 to 8AM give or take, she was a glittery purple streak on a circuit through Central Park from end to end that she’d measured precisely both for distance and scenic value. The moment she left her job at NYPD Central Dispatch at 6AM, she was changed and on the bike, ready to go. She even had an appropriately timed playlist on Spotify. 

She’d started as early in the spring as the weather allowed for, in her long compression pants and jacket, getting her face chapped as she and her body remembered what it felt like to be on two wheels and free. A figure in all black in the early hours of the morning fast enough to pedal past the majority of the criminal element and yet still taking hits off her asthma bong when she paused to get drinks from her backpack. 

Now, though, with the summer slowly stretching out down the coast, she’d tied up her puff pigtails and ditched her all black for the wildly purple tie-dyed bike shorts, sports bra, and tank top, all matching, because why not and her favorite pair of sunglasses that made her look like a trained killer. Even her earbuds were purple. There were some who said she didn’t really have the body for the tightly clinging gear, but fuck those people, she was going to be comfortable and safe while she worked out and they didn’t have to look if it offended them. Her body, not-toned stomach, thick thighs and semi-floppy arms, was her own and had been through many of its own wars, and she could wear what made her happy. 

She’d picked up riding the previous summer and had taken it inside for the duration of the winter, riding in the basement gym of 1PP, but she didn’t have a whole lot to show for it physically other than shaplier calves and slightly thinner thighs. She wasn’t in it for the way she looked, but how good it felt to finally move after being sick and stuck with her joint pain for so long. Now that her meds were mostly managed, she was hell on two wheels, six days a week if she could manage, five if she wanted to go easy on it, and it felt amazing.  

On her pace, she saw herself coming up on a group of joggers just cresting the hill, the tallest among them, a hottie from the Homicide Squad, Donnie Flack. All black-haired, blue-eyed Irish, he was every dispatcher’s crush and untouchable as a museum piece because of his wife in the Coroner’s Office. No one wanted to test a forensic scientist’s ability to exact revenge. It was just poor planning. And he was such a sweetheart, it was impossible not to be his friend. 

“On ya left!” she hollered out as she approached the group, powering up the hill despite the way her knees screamed and her thighs burned. It was the principle of the thing, really, as she stood on her pedals and waved as she sailed past them with a jaunty grin. Now that she’d caught up to them, she saw it was a couple other guys from Homicide and one of the guys from down in Trace Evidence. 

“Lookin’ good, E!” Danny Messer, Flack’s whip-thin, mouthy bestie from Crime Scene Investigations, hollered back with a huge grin and a wave as Donnie stuck his fingers in his mouth and wolf-whistled. Messer was good people, and his wife was a doll. Echo lived in their building a couple floors down and had babysat their kids more than a couple times. 

Once she was out of sight, she concentrated on her speed according to the handlebar speedometer and focused on her Beastie Boys as she took the path around the edge of the Jackie O Reservoir. It was so beautiful, with duck families out in force, moms with their collections of babies trailing behind. The water made the air feel a bit cooler as the wind rushed over her skin as she progressed toward the Butterfly Garden. 

Next up on her list of gorgeous sights was the two guys in front of her that she’d dubbed Hotness 1 and Hotness 2. She passed them a few times on her rides, most mornings. Hotness 1 was tall like Donnie, but broader, with muscles upon muscles. He looked like an escapee from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, if Galatea had been 6’3” and blonde with cornflower blue eyes and an ass that would have reduced Michaelangelo to abject weeping. 

Hotness 2 wasn’t any easier on the libido, with his blue-grey peepers and long dark hair he kept in a bun at his neck to go with his panty-melting smile and muscles. His bangs broke free of their confinement framing his face as they drifted over his model-perfect cheekbones and brushed against his sharp jawline. Not that she’d been ogling. Much. 

Alone, they were the kind of flawless that caused traffic jams. Both of them together was an obscenity charge waiting to happen in their running shorts and sinfully well-fitting t-shirts, and more than one jogger—both male and female—had pulled up lame, run into a tree, or tripped over their own feet watching them go by.  

“On ya left!” she called as she approached them, smiling as they waved when she flew by. If she happened to be standing on the pedals and sticking her ass out a bit more than was strictly necessary, well, could anyone blame her? Really? Besides, their smiles and waves of acknowledgement were totally worth it.  

Just past The Loch was the Glen Span Arch, which always felt like a fairy garden to Echo. A stone bridge over the asphalt path with the stream running next to it and abundant trees, it was easy to imagine falling into a rabbit hole like Alice diving into Wonderland and never coming back. With the sun dappling through the leaves, it was here she felt like she was the only person in the world and life was perfect. 

At least it was, until a grizzly bear in a blue shirt and black shorts descended into her path from down the hill. Echo hit the brakes so hard the back tire came up off the path and ditched out on the bike to keep from hitting him. She went one way and flung the bike the other, doing her best to guard her face and head from what would likely be a hard hit.

“Fuckshit!” 

It was over in a second, she was in the creek, soaked to the bone on some very hard and unforgiving rocks that were currently poking into her ribs and hip, with no idea where her bike was. Or her sunglasses. Or phone. Taking inventory from toes upward, she was happy to report that for the most part, she’d likely sustained bruises but otherwise, she’d live. At least, until she tried to push herself up and her hand slipped on the wet rocks, sending her face first into the flowing water. 

“Ah Christ! Hold on!” a deep, unfamiliar male voice hissed as he hooked his hands under her arms and bodily lifted her from the stream. Literally picked her up like a discarded toy, and like she weighed just as little, cradling her to his surprisingly firm and muscular chest. “I got you, sweetheart.” If she wasn’t so busy reeling from the hit and sputtering from the water coming out of her sinuses, his warm, rumbling voice as he brushed his lips over her temple would have definitely done the job. “I gotchu, darlin’. Are you okay?”

“I think so?” Echo took a second to compose herself after he set her on her feet with his arm protectively around her waist, scrubbing a hand down her face to deal with the water and unfortunately blood coming from sore spots on the bridge of her nose and her chin. When she looked up from her bloody hand, she wondered exactly how hard she’d been hit in the head, because in front of her was the concerned face of the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, looking her over like she was the most delicate bone china and he’d just yeeted it off the dining room table. He cupped her jaw in his hand, thumb gently brushing over her cheekbone, it was familiar and more than a little terrifying. Who the hell was this guy and why the hell was he touching her? 

At her tiny, horrified squeak, his blue eyes widened, looking over his shoulder at his friend, Hotness 2, who had a cell phone pressed to his ear. “This is your fault, ya jerk. You plannin’ on helpin’ or what?” 

The grey-eyed Adonis with the long dark hair held up a strangely metal-looking finger and spoke tersely into the phone before hanging up and coming over to them with a disgruntled look on his face for his friend. “Medics inbound. Settle down, Stevie.” The moment those steel-blue eyes turned on her, though, it could have been the sole cause of global warming because damn, if she didn’t melt a little on the spot from their tenderness. “I am so sorry, dollface. I didn’t see you. Are you okay?” 

When he reached for her face to examine her bloody chin, she recoiled out of reflex, not fear, but unfortunately that was the moment that everything went to shit for the second time in ten minutes. 

“NYPD! Step away from her!” Flack had his gun out and his badge around his neck, with Danny doing the same as he cautiously approached her with the rest of the heavily armed, sweaty contingent. Apparently Tall, Dark, and Yummy wasn’t moving fast enough because then Donnie barked, “Now, asshole! Move away from her or I’ll shoot.” 

Both hands up and out to the side, 2 stepped back, eyes never leaving the gun trained on him. “You don’t wanna do this, pal.” He seemed amusingly calm, which made about as much sense to her as any of the rest of this, which was none at all. Blondie slowly straightened up further but kept an arm around her waist to hold her up.

The very fact that the man spoke seemed to incense her friend further. “You think I give a fuck about your opinion?” 

“Hey, that’s not necessary…” The man standing with her gave her a reassuring squeeze before stepping over to stand with his friend. 

With them occupied, Danny crept up next to her and moved her off to the side, surrounded by the rest of the guys from Homicide and Evidence. “She’s secure, Flack.” 

“Good.” The detective nodded before turning his attention back to his quarry. “Now what the fuck were you doing feeling up an injured woman? You get off on that?”

Hotness 1 was all calmly defiant righteousness, standing shoulder to shoulder with his buddy. “We called a medic for her, they should be here in a couple minutes. We weren’t looking and didn’t see her on the path until it was too late.” 

“This true, Echo?” Danny asked softly as he gently seated her on a nearby boulder and seemed to be checking her over for more injuries than just her face and her pride.

She went to nod but that rattled her head too much. “Yeah, Messer. I guess. It was just a regular crash. My fault as much as theirs, really. No real harm done.” 

Frowning ferociously, Flack clearly was not content with her answer. “IDs, I want ‘em. Now.” 

Blondie nodded slowly, alarmingly unperturbed about having a .40 caliber pistol pointed at his face. “Front right pocket. You wanna get it or should I?”

“Don’t get us shot, Stevie,” the longhaired man admonished his friend. From his long-suffering expression, this was apparently not the first time this type of thing had happened to either of them. 

Rolling his eyes, Flack held out his hand. “Alright, smartass, wallets now.”

While the Homicide Hottie (as they called him in Dispatch) held court with her two new acquaintances, the ambulance rolled up and the medics  began cleaning her wounds and checking her over as her worried neighbor stood guard over her. The last thing she wanted or needed was stitches and additional facial scars, but it looked like she might not get a choice in the matter. 

“Messer! Get over here!” The note of concern in the detective’s voice had her looking over immediately, only to find all the guns put away and all their postures seemed substantially less aggressive, though no less agitated. 

“Ma’am, could you hold still please?” The female medic with the gentle hands turned her face so she could clean the wounds better. 

She didn’t know if it was the movement or what, but all of a sudden, she was going down, hard. The last thing she remembered was the ground rushing up to meet her. Again.

[dbfandom]

Alright, characters and emojis.

As you know, the Japanese fandom really likes to use symbols to talk about characters, it's a way to code the language without showing up in search functions. These are usually used for shipping, but not always.

Some characters are more obvious than others, but for those who may seem a little far reached, I will write a small explanation.

Some are established fanon-accepted, but they're not really strongly claimed, so some artists will use the same emoji for different characters. (And as always if you like what I’m trying to do, consider buying me a drink or a doujin with ko-fi) (twitter version btw)

So here's my list for Dragon Ball (🐉) :p

Saiyans and half-saiyans:

Goku: 🥕 (Kakarot -> carrot) or 5️⃣9️⃣

Vegeta: 🥗

Broly: 🥦

Raditz: 🦔 (the hedgehog hair lol)

Turles: 🥬(Tullece -> lettuce) or 🍎 (because of the fruit obviously)

King Vegeta: 👑 or 🔱 (they aren’t super common)

Bardock and his squad: no established emoji that I've noticed, but 🍅 should be for Toma (Tora in English). 🌿 should be for Fasha (Selipa in Japanese, which are the syllables for parsley (pa-se-ri). I’ve seen someone use 🦀 or 🩸 (the headband) for Bardock.

Gine: 🧅 I’ve seen this one once!

Cumber: 🥒

Caulifla: I haven’t seen an established one that, but 🔥 works for her hair.

Kale: 🥬

Cabba: 🥬 yes Cabba (cabbage) and Kale (.. kale lol) share the same emoji. Context!

Gohan: 🍚 ("fried rice" as lunch; the term rice is used as a way to talk about the entire meal, even if it does not contain rice); for Future Gohan, you'll find it with the kanji 未 mi, from mirai (future). 5️⃣8️⃣ sometimes too. Add in 🐺 for the beast version!

Goten: 🍤(TENpura) sometimes 5️⃣🔟. Tenpura (tempura) is a type of fried food, and it's used for Goten because (go)ten(pura) (he's nicknamed "ten" by Trunks).

Trunks: 🐯(tora(nkusu); Tora means tiger); for Future Trunks, you'll find it with the kanji 未 mi, from mirai (future).

Bra: 👙 usually. Sometimes 👸

Pan: 🍞 (bread, obviously)

Earthlings:

Chichi: 🥛🍼(her name means milk; both are used)

Ox King: 🐂 (only seen it once, but that’s because I don’t see many drawings of him lol)

Bulma: 🩲(bloomers) but she sometimes gets 💙

Yamcha: 🐺 (wolf techniques)

Krillin: 🌰 (kuririn -> chestnut). Marron sometimes gets the same emoji

Videl: 😈 (Videl -> Devil)

Mr Satan: 🥇or 🏆. He’s the world champion!

Tenshinhan: 👁️

Chaozu: 👲(not super common but I did see it twice)

Launch: 🔫 but I’ve also seen 🎭

Roshi: 🐢

Farmer with a power level of 5: 🌽

Uub: I did see 🌴 used ONE TIME..

Maron: 🩱 I’ve seen it once.

Androids/Artificial humans:

Android 16: 1️⃣6️⃣ or 🤖

Android 17: 1️⃣7️⃣ or 🤖

Android 18: 1️⃣8️⃣ or 🤖

Cell: 🦗 grasshopper or cicada due to his first form. 🆑 and 🧬 have also been used.

Android 21: 🧁

Gammas: 1️⃣ / 2️⃣ or 🍓 (ichigo which is also number 1) and occasionally Γ or γ sometimes (not emojis but still lol)

Aliens:

Piccolo: 🅿️ or 🍏 (he gives apples to Gohan early on). ピ is also super common (it’s the first katakana of his name), but it’s not an emoji. 🍊 for orange piccolo obviously.

Nail: 🐌

Dende: 🫑 or 🌱 (seen it once..)

Frieza: ❄️ I’ve seen this one a couple of times. 🧊 and 🥶 are sometimes used too, for him, King Cold or Cooler.

Tapion: 🗡️

Gods and Kais:

Zamasu:🍵 (the tea he drinks)

Goku Black: 🌹 (a rose by any other name..)

Chronoa: 🕛 or any alternative like⌛️

Shin: 😏 I’ve seen this one used twice, but nothing definitive.

Fusions:

Gotenks: 👻 has happened a couple of times; (Ry has told me 🍩 is also used)

Gogeta: 🥐 (because of the jacket)

Vegito: 🍬 (because he's the strongest candy in the world in the Buu Saga).

Merged Zamasu: 🌀or ❇️

Kefla: 💥 (seen it a few times but not definite either)

Others:

Buu: 🍫

Janemba: 👺 (not super common)

Beerus: 🍺

Whis: 🥃 (😇 has also been used it seems)

Champa: 🍾 or 🥂

Special thanks to Whirly for nudging me to compile further and to Popo and the twitter folks for using those emojis religiously haha

[some-complete-idiot]

You know while I’m thinking about Hotline Miami I’m gonna rant about something.

Let me first show you a completely wrong (in my opinion) image

Jacket is no villain.

RANT BEGIN!!!

Also! There will be spoilers for both Hotline Miami 1 and 2! If you’re at all interested in playing some ball busting games that are so fucking good, go get them now!

Now I can understand why you could call Jacket a villain, but I feel that completely undermines his whole character and story arc!

The quick and simple way to explain why Jacket isn’t a villain is by this comparison,

Calling Jacket a villain is like calling The Punisher a villain.

You’re not completely wrong, they both do things that are barely redeemable, but the difference is that The Punisher keeps trying to find new scapegoats for his family’s death. While Jacket only goes after the people he considers to be the cause of his problems.

That’s why at the end of Hotline Miami 2 (from now on will be referred to as Wrong Number) you see Jacket just sitting in a jail cell. He’s content with his fate, for he finally got back at the people who hurt him, and his friends.

Jacket’s Reasoning

Here I’ll give you an outline of what Jacket’s reasoning for his rampage of Russian Mobsters was for.

You see, Jacket is a veteran! And he was on this super special team with 3 other people, including the character known as Beard.

Now in Wrong Number we get to see what Jacket did in his service years, he was stationed in Hawaii and was tasked with pushing out the Vietcong that had invaded. (I think? lol) Him and Beard were already good friends, hell they got a war reporter take their picture together! Very wholesome buddies* in my opinion. Every person on Jacket’s team all had their own things they wanted to do after the war, but only two, including Jacket, ever got to leave Hawaii in one piece.

You see, Jacket’s team was tasked with taking out some enemies that were hulled up in a power plant, Jacket was heavily injured, but Beard saved him and got his ass out of there. But there was still one more squad member left behind, so another one of Jacket’s squad that got out went back in to save the MIA member.

But sadly, the only survivors of the mission would be Jacket and Beard.

Skip ahead to after the war, Beard got to do what he wanted to do after the war, open up a small shop in San Francisco…

But in war, it’s winners are the one who get to write the history books, so Russia decided to nuke San Francisco to win the Cold War.

Now Jacket is the last of his squad.

How Jacket Grieves

I consider Jacket’s actions in Hotline Miami, for the most part, be him grieving in a strange, twisted way.

I mean, if you were given a mask by a random organization, told to go to an address, and found a bunch of Russian Mobsters who you in part believe are the ones who caused your pain, you’d be bashing in skulls as well.

But I do believe that Jacket does have a sense of who and who not he will kill, an example is that after you complete the first level, you go to throw away a briefcase you got from the scene of the Russian Mobsters. But when you throw away the briefcase when, RANDOM HOMELESS MAN ENCOUNTER!

Jacket is forced to kill the man, and while you begin to walk back to your car Jacket stops himself and takes off his mask and pukes. He clearly doesn’t like to kill people who are not involved with his pain.

Jacket and Girlfriend

Now this is what I constantly point to when people just call Jacket a villain, in Hotline Miami, after one level Jacket finds a poor girl who was being tortured by the mobsters that were in the building you had just cleared out.

The woman fully expects Jacket to kill her, but instead he takes her in and nurses her back to health. And he doesn’t force anything out of her, he gives her all the space she wants and she ends up becoming someone that seems to help Jacket.

That’s what makes the death of Girlfriend even worse when it happens.

Jacket is no Hero

I would like to also say that Jacket is no hero either, I believe his worst action was raiding the police headquarters and killing the cops in there just so he could learn why the person who killed Girlfriend (another person who was getting calls) did so.

But the ending of Hotline Miami is what I feel like shows off his character, Jacket kills the head of the Russian Mob in Miami and walks out to a balcony. He lights a cigarette and pulls out a Polaroid picture, he looks at it one last time before he lets go of the picture.

Because he’s avenged the person who saved him back on Hawaii; Beard.

Conclusion

In conclusion, calling Jacket a villain in my opinion is somewhat misguided.

While some of Jacket’s actions don’t feel justifiable I do feel completely condemning him is completely misunderstanding his character and motives.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk :)

[amchara]

i love the specific situation when i see you reblogging things and i immediately think it's tsc without looking at the context and then immediately spiral into a tornado of confusion and/or horror before the moment of clarity washes over me and i realize it's fate the winx saga

you have no idea how many times i've seen fairy-esque discussions on your blog or drama-adjacent things and I'm like "WHAT HAPPENED TO MARK AND KIERAN WHAT DID I MISS oh wait-"

Hahaha, I do feel a slight pang of guilt sometimes for TSC fans who followed and are still here. I mean- I am still into Shadowhunters! But I mix it up a lot more these days.

But more importantly- you made me spiral with your question of WHAT HAPPENED TO MARK AND KIERAN... that I had to think, what does happen to Mark, Kieran and the Blackthorns and Emma in a Fate universe context?

SO- buckle up, we're going fusion with Fate and The Shadowhunter Chronicles.

I'm going to stick mainly with The Dark Artifices characters for this but I do have to do a shout out to the fact that we do have some direct parallels but mainly TMI related.

Sky = Herondale with Jace's weaponry skill and daddy issues, James' gentlemanly behavior hiding a dark side, and Kit's jacket + sarcasm. That boy suffers beautifully, as all Herondales must.

And Bloom = Clary Fairchild, independent red-head discovers hidden world of magic and finds a close knit group of friends who help her save the world. Though the narrative punishes Bloom a lot more than Cassie ever did to Clary.

Therefore Bloom/Sky roughly equals Clary/Jace

Fate: The Winx Saga actually fits the mold of original flavour TSC quite well even if the other character archetypes don't exactly align with the Fate characters.

But... if we get to The Dark Artifices and the more morally grey Blackthorns and add in the Unseelie Court, this is where I had to stretch the imagination. Not because it can't be done but I had to shift a couple things to fit into the Fate context.

So, first of all- Emma is clearly a Specialist in this 'verse. Trains all day, weapons fan and a drive for revenge? Absolutely she'd be an awesome Specialist. Her background in Fate is that her parents were killed by Burned Ones - and they were also part of Rosalind's elite squad and so as a consequence she's brought up at Alfea by Silva, alongside Sky. She's Julian's Specialist partner.

Julian is a Mind Fairy. I considered all the other elements and nope, we've got to acknowledge he'd be a fucking powerful mind fairy, and he'd be a protege of Headmistress Farah Dowling. When Rosalind inevitably returns... she'd sense his power and there would definitely be attempst to push him to give in to the more manipulative side of his powers.

The Blackthorn's 'dark secret' in this 'verse is that Mark and Helen's mother was a Blood Witch, in a time when there wasn't as much division between fairies and Blood Witch.

We keep Julian's dark past in that he had to kill his own father when he was younger, who was possessed by a Blood Witch trying to get revenge for the Aster Dell massacre. In this battle, Julian protects his younger siblings but Mark is taken by some of his mother's relatives and goes off to live with the Blood Witches. Helen is a Specialist and has been banished by Queen Luna to the wilds of Eraklyon to check the Barrier (and her fairy partner Aline goes with her).

Anyway, when our story starts, Mark's just been returned to Solaria, through some backroom negotiations by General Bavani, and he's causing a stir at Alfea, as most people don't trust him due to his background. Oh, and he's an Air Fairy nominally but learnt it through Blood Witch practice, which makes his magic super erratic. He and Julian are trying to get back to their old bond but it's hard and there's the whole point of Julian trying not to admit he's in love with Emma because... okay, there's no parabatai issue but let's go with the idea that Mind Fairies can't be in relationships with their Specialist partners because if they get hurt/their partner gets hurt, it makes the magic go Kaboom or something, so it's Highly Frowned upon). But obviously Mark has no issues with this so we can keep the Emma-Mark-Julian triangle from the first book.

Kieran, as some kind of son of an important Blood Witch clan- maybe even still a Prince, shows up undercover (ala Beatrix's background), but in this 'verse, clearly Mark knows. So he's trying to out why Kieran is there without getting Kieran in trouble. So he and this other Specialist he's been getting close to- Cristina Rosales - are investigating and trying to figure out Kieran's ulterior motives. And of course, the OT3 still develops. 😌

Whew... going to stop here before I write a full-blown AU but thank you for spurring on this ridiculous fusion post. Hope you enjoyed and once you've watched the pilot, maybe even know some of the names I've been throwing around. 😀

[my-rights-are-grian-rights]

🔪: 1,2,19,22,35

🔧: 1,4,5 22, 30, 35

Zhulong: 12,22, 35

HIII HEEHEE finished watching 1 dollar love actually dvd because our wifi went out but IM BACK AND I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY SILLIES

wow this post is gonna be Long soooo adding the cut now~!

🔪:

1: are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

UHHHH okay sOOO the simplest answer is probably black bc like. it wears a lotta black. military gear etc is usually black? but! its got this stupid orange striped short sleeve shirt thats actually like. a uniform (as in. I referenced the batman 2022 Arkham uniform when I first designed this idiot. yea) so its usually associated with either orange or red (for blood rawrrr)

2: what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

oh uh!!!!! I dont think this thing listens to music. tbh everything would be better if it did but! it get zero enrichment ever. so instead for this question I get to give you two songs I associate with it for some reason or another. because I said so. and those are House of Wolves (MCR) and Barbie Girl (Aqua). I want to know what you think of it from these two songs together because the combination is sooooo silly to me

19: are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

ooooo this one is fun to think about. mmm I think generally it's not very like,,, externally angry. it is in a perpetual state of something between annoyance and disdain almost all the time (when not Letting Loose), but that's a bit different from angry, I think. things that will make it snap at you: remove mask w/o permission, get touchy w it without permission. probably other things too I forget. things that will make it do super petty things and/or get revenge on you some other way: assume you've got the best of it. assume you're in charge. assume you're in control.

22: do they sleep well at night?

bold of you to assume it sleeps yea well uhh. its a pretty light sleeper I think but it can sleep wherever. no nightmares or w/e its just. rechargin I think

35: do they ever return home?

no. lol. zero percent chance of this thing ever returning home and idk if that ever even existed for it. if it gets a "happy" ending its going to have to claw that into existence itself. and why would it

🔧:

1: are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

blue! they wear the most black, again, but thats cause of the goofy suit thing I've got ingame. blue tie blue waistcoat blue accents on the gas mask, so blue's ended up as their color :3

4: how crafty/resourceful are they?

the wrench is their emoji because that's its main weapon. if that says anything. dont think it'd be the best at like. street brawlin no supplies no powers but it can be pretty inventive with the things it knows how to use.

5: how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

oh it's so stupid <3. suit jacket tie collared shirt waistcoat belt black cargo pants with big ole pockets fingerless gloves combat boots w straps and a belt chain. it's sooo stupid. <3333,,. character creators be like what if all the pieces we let you use were assorted pieces of other characters. OH and dont forget the half gas mask. when I made this guy I referenced one of two Literal Actual Techwear Official Dot Com gas masks. the pockets are practical at least? and thats just one outfit realistically it has other clothing too but idk what though. probably they steal clothing from the rogues lol

22: do they sleep well at night?

depends on where they are! with dork squad probably! unless one or more of them get on an inventing bend or something but it can just wrangle them back to sleep or at least to be quieter. with the sirens that's more of a wild card. depending on if harl's there she's def gonna wanna like stay up n talk or something. tbh though most things happen at night. like heists! :D but they can usually get a good sleep in. and even a lazy morning, probably!

30: do they smell like anything notable?

uhhh probably vaguely like flowers and/or fear toxin. lol. can you tell what I sourced this guy from yet

35: do they ever return home?

it never returns to where it came from, but that place (read: dimension. lol) was never really home. they do find a home, where they end up. and they're happy.

Zhulong:

12: how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

oh man how long has this guy been around? discord chat messages says I made him December 16 of last year. I do not know his birthday. it could just be dec 16 that would be silly. kayfabe though he doesn't really have one hes just Old lol. out of kayfabe hes like chill about bdays I think he'll get ppl close to him a present or whatever. in kayfabe he didnt really get it pre Punishment I dont think but with his whole Chained In A Human Body thing he gets to have a crisis! yay ! over He Is Aging and He Will Die !! again!!!! yipeee!!!

22: do they sleep well at night?

out of kayfabe as long as hes not too sore or w/e he's good. usually conked out from exercising. in kayfabe uhhh he thinks sleeping is weird. his lore says he never eats or sleeps or breathes but now he has to. and he hates it.

30: do they ever return home?

I think he goes to visit his parents sometimes :3 (outside kayfabe.) lol silly answer. in kayfabe nah the place he considers home is long gone and buried by time. and even if it still existed he'd never be able to reach it as he is. sorry

[becomingpotatoes]

my opinions on the project sekai redesigns

our kids are growing up and entering a new year in high school, which means that they now have completely new designs because thats how idol gacha rhythm games work!!! woo!! and i have Thoughts

im gonna talk about my opinions on all the redesigns from least to most favorite. note that these are not my rankings of the groups themselves lol, thatd be

vbs -> n25 -> mmj & l/n (they’re tied for second) -> wxs

(from least to most favorite)

#5 - MORE MORE JUMP!

ohhh my sweet girls, my precious girls, what did they Do to you.

the blue looks So bad on them. it clashes with minori and airi and feels too samey with shizu and haru. i like their shoes, tho, and i like how airi keeps her trend of her outfit straying just a little bit from the norm.

these outfits just feel so boring and lifeless, compared to their og ones that had a lot more personality and a lot more charm. i dont think the dresses themselves are ugly, in fact i find them quite pretty, but i dont think they suit the girls very well.

also what the fuck is miku wearing lmao (i like her hairstyle tho)

i like all the girls hair accessories tho they’re cute

i hate ranking them last because i love mmj so much but yeah im very disappointed and i honestly prefer their canon outfits that they wear while performing not in the sekai (the ones that their fans helped design in the metamo re:born event that i forgot the name of)

#4 - Leo/need

firstly i wanna say im so happy that honami gets to be pictured with her instrument like the others, and i really like how they positioned saki’s keyboard

i dont hate these designs!! i quite like them actually. they seem more unified and professional, which fits because leo/need is SIGNED with an AGENCY now oh yeah im so proud of them

im sad that ichikas wearing her tie now rip ichikas tie around her wrist you will be missed by me and me only

i really like their new outfits!! the girls look and feel older. im not really vibing with the shade of gray used tho, i wish their uniforms were black or white or a different shade of gray. i also love the pins and buttons on mikus jacket (i actually prefer the shade of gray on the jacket why couldnt the leoneeders be dressed in that shade)

#3 - Wonderlands x Showtime

#ruiturnaround #FREETSUKASAFROMTHEFLAG

mizuki POPPED OFF with these designs (assuming they made them again)

i really love wondershos new look, i just like the other two groups better. nene’s in particular is my favorite (but im biased). i love how professional they look, these new outfits really display this new step that the kids are taking into the world of theatre

so proud for rui for comjng out as nb can he turn around now my artist friends are crying

i adore all of these designs they’re so cute and fun and i really love the new vibe for wondersho as of recently. it seems like colorpale and the fandom are taking them so much more seriously

#2 - Nightcord at 25:00

KANADE HAS BEEN FREED FROM THE CHAIR (but now miku has it. lol.)

guys. guys the - the symbolism. their dresses progress from pure black to gray showing how they’re slowly healing and bettering themselves and miku’s hair is begining to regain its green and the kids have different flowers that have symbolism that other people know way bettee then mine but MAFUYU’S IVY MOTIF AND ENAS NARCISSUS MOTIF ARE BACK BABY real missed chance to give kanade carnations tho. i dont have much to say but WOW i love the new look for the nightcords and i think they’re stunning. will accept zero hate for these guys they look great

also miku has shoes!!!! yes!!!!

#1 - Vivid BAD SQUAD

yeah, i was surprised too at how much i like the vbs designs

i like vbs, sure, but they’ve always been the group that has piqued my interest the least. and ive never been super keen on the designs of the characters

but these designs??? i really like them. a lot. it feels like the kids are really coming into their own, with kohane and toya finding their personal styles, akito refining his, and an paying homage to nagi in hers. they’re becoming the young adult creators and musicians that they’re striving to be. i can really see vbs’s growth in their new designs, and i hope that i can grow to really love them and their story : D

(also mikus design is kind of. all over the place. lmao but i kinda love it)

[storiesofsvu]

Happy Thursday! It’s a very big day pascal!!!

(hint… that has nothing to do with l&o… im sorry for what im about to become…)

Okay, mothership. Let’s see how this starts out.

Okay… so… hear me out… our vic is recently out of jail, sure they were exonerated, BUT I guarantee you the parents/family of that little girl don’t fully believe it and they just became your prime suspects. (and if they don’t even question them in this ep I will be disappointed in them…)

Yeah I really like this new DA.

“ONLY TWO TRIALS IVE EVER LOST” ???!! JESUS FUCK he’s *good*

Ooooo and now there’s $10 million dollars involved. The plot thickens…

I think I say it every week, but I LOVE KATE

I know this bald guy from somewhere but I can’t remember where. OH!! IS IT NURSE JACKIE?! I think it’s from there.

That blue suit shaw’s got on is FIIINE.

You know… I think what I disliked the most about the OG l&o was cosgrove, mccoy and Nolan. Now two of those are gone and I’m actually enjoying the show more LOL.

Why is the courtroom backwards?

Very likely unpopular opinion: I think carisi would fit in really well on this show. We should replace Nolan with him, actually get him some screen time and court room scenes considering svu never lets him be a lawyer anymore (I know we’re getting some tonight but still. I’m salty with how few court scenes we’ve gotten since covid)

SAM IN THE GREEN PANT SUIT!!!! YES!! GIRL!!

Ooooo what a plot twist!! Yaass!

Okay… I might skip TO, we’ll see if it hooks me in the intro or not

It did not suck me in. the end.

SVU here we go!

Ooooooooo a JURY deliberating?!?! We’ve never gotten to see this before!! I think this would be a super neat thing to see more often!

Ohhhh fuuuuuccckkk me. Velasco in the leather jacket and on his bike. FUCK. I literally let out an audible groan and dropped the apple slice I was eating. FUCK. I am down bad for him rn.

Who’s kid is that with fin?

TERRY NAKED IN BED WITH A LADY!!! TERRY NAKED IN BED!!

Listen this like, 10 seconds of personal life is all I need on a regular basis.

Okay he’s found guilt but im assuming that the girl they “peer pressured” into it is gonna come back to bite them in the ass

There’s gotta be some weird ass connection here, OR it’s a Bronwyn 2.0 situation. The way she looked at him? Ugh.

Im over the two new girls on the squad. Over it. I don’t like either of them.

Ah.. yes.. here we go. fuck this shit.

“you’re the one who wrote the bau profile” ….they’re literally trying to be criminal minds now. They DO realize that criminal minds is currently airing right? And that they’re not directly competing with each other, right? Like…cm is on streaming, they’re on cable, and they’re on different days/time slots. Stop with all this profiling shit and stick to just the nypd detective shit. That’s WHY we watch the show and what we come for…

Welp. Adding new charges is certainly a way to go rn. BUT now the defence can come back and say that they’re making shit up just to bring a new case to convict.

I know (assume lol) that it’s the same actress but the three “versions” of Maddie look nothing alike to me. Like, that is not the same girl lol.

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHO TERRY WAS IN BED WITH. One night stand? Gf? Casual dating? Fwb? WHOOOMST

“why didn’t you tell anyone this before?” coming from CURRY is EXACTLY why it should’ve been another SVU detective in that room, they know how to act, how to encourage victims to open up. (I get that maybe the thought behind it was that she’s a woman vs the rest of the men, but still).

HAHAH not carisi calling out the other boys for being divorced when they’re giving him shit about marriage troubles. I love him.

Ohhhh gooodddddddd no. not repping himself… fuck.

Okay…either this guy is dumb AF, or he’s playing dumb. Like the comment in chambers all “where do I sit? I’m Canada, I don’t know how the law works down here” and now he’s getting cocky and repping himself? Like yeah, I lowkey get it, Im Canadian and know more about laws in nyc than up here but I’m sure this man wasn’t out writing fanfic while kidnapping girls lol. Like, does he ACTUALLY know enough to accurately rep himself? Probs not. Like that’s fucking dumb. Carisi should be able to get him on so many technicalities and make him look like an idiot/rile him up enough to explode.

Also highkey worried about benson on the stand. She’s already so wound up it might not take long for her to burst. AND considering the jump scare that was William lewis last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still on her mind and a perp grilling her on the stand is gonna give her flashbacks of that trial and we all know how that went….

How tf  did he get a MILLION dollars?!

“carisi’s right, that monster needs eyes on him” YEAH DUH. THAT’S YOUR FUCKING JOB OLIVIA! Get yourself/your team on it!

What do you mean you’ve NEVER BEEN ON A STAKEOUT BEFORE?!? Curr’s an iab captain, I’m SURE she had to start as a beat cop… cmon.. that’s lazy writing.

Okay, but madi’s mom isn’t texting the perp to actually sleep with him, she’s doing it to get under his skin, right? Or like, to seduce him and she’s going haywire to kill him, right?

This guy is SO gross.

How is he SO good in a courtroom???

I thought amanda was in this episode?

Yup. Called it.

Velasco could shoot me any day. Sir. Please. I am begging.

“and now fin I want you to leave” girl. What. You’re going so fucking rogue and im so here for it LOL.

Okay, im just now remembering the description of the ep that amanda’s in, I was confused lol

Okay, that ep was good. Lets see how OC does next

Wait… I wasn’t paying attention, was that the MIA cop? Sam? Cause if so… fuck…

Ok, judging by these flashbacks, yes.. god his poor wife.

Elliot.. youre talking like a cop. How long have you been doing this? You know better.

The pacing of these episodes is too slow, it’s getting boring. It’s too much of stabler UC and not enough of actual police work/in the office. Its losing my attention FAST.

Like.. I watch this show for the cast as a whole and when we get arcs like this it turns into the Elliot stabler show and im not here for that. Throwing Ayanna UC for the meeting was a great addition but now we’re back to the stabler show and I’m scrolling my phone not paying attention.

Also… OC always fucks up and doesn’t have subtitles on it and that makes me lose interest cause I just simply cant watch shit without subtitles lol

Man I really fucking feel for sam’s(?) wife. This is heartbreaking. Ayanna & jet both with the single fucking tear? PLEASE. I’m literally crying.

Okay, stabler’s older(?) brother? Was he once a cop too? Or is he just playing cop rn? Is he gonna get himself killed??

This man needs therapy. Period.

“im no cop…”

“relax. I’m atf.” YAS lol.

“youd be surprised” “maybe I wouldn’t” yeah…none of us would. Stabler’s always in trouble.

Well THAT’S SUSPICIOUS

Man, we all knew this was coming, like the foreshadowing (for us as viewers) was SO obvious, but this still suuuuper complicates everything, ESP with joe being MIA.

Okay. That’s all. law and order day is officially over and the rest of the weekend is all about taylor swift. I’m not sorry. T-minus one hour!!!

[aequitas-if]

oooo, could i get 8, 12, and 39 from the ask game answered?

8. Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

12. Do they have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?

39. Would they ever crash a wedding?

You can absolutely get those ask game questions answered! Like I’ve mentioned I love answering asks because it gets me in the mood for writing!

8. Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

Original Aequitas Members

Alex: I can see her collecting classic novels!

Jasper: He has collected trinkets from every major place he has gone to (which is a lot considering he has super speed). He kept them in his room at the base!

Zoe: She collects cookbooks! The way humans have developed so many foods across different cultures has always fascinated her.

Rowan: I can’t see him collecting anything. It’s not really his thing.

Sidekick Squad

Vesper: They always take something from every mission they go on.

(I don’t know if you’ve watched Young Justice but if you have it would be pretty similar to Kid Flash and his souvenirs!)

Leon: Another one that I can’t see collecting anything. Maybe comics/movies but that would be when he’s a bit older.

Juniper: I can see her collecting something small like cute keychains or silly sunglasses.

Nora: She collects snow-globes. Her grandmother would always give her one whenever she visited so she’s been building her collection since she was a kid.

Sebastian: He collects vinyl records. Of course he would deny it if anyone asked. He has a record player and is just making sure it gets used. Obviously.

12.Do they have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?

Original Aequitas Members

Alex: She has a good sense of style. A solid 9/10.

If you asked her she would say that she has an average/decent sense of style.

Jasper: Average sense of style 6/10. He’s not creative or anything but it’s not bad.

If you asked him though he would brag about having a great sense of style.

Zoe: Zoe’s another one with a good style! I would give her a 7/10. She reads a lot of magazines so she learned from there.

If you asked her she’s another one that would say that her style is decent/average.

Rowan: 5/10. It’s not bad just boring. Black t-shirt, jeans and sometimes a leather jacket.

He think he has a cool sense of style though

Sidekick Squad

Vesper: Depends on the day. Vesper’s outfits switch between 10/10 (looking perfect) and -1000/10 (Why the hell would you put those colors and patterns together?)

They know they have a good sense of style. They just refuse to use it most of the time.

Leon: He’s…average. A solid 6/10. Leon dresses like you would imagine a teen boy would. His usual outfit is a hoodie, t-shirt and jeans.

He would admit to the fact he has a pretty boring sense of style.

Juniper: She definitely has a trendy sense of style! Juni usually picks whatever she feels best in or whatever is popular at the time. A solid 7/10.

She would very heavily argue that she has a great sense of style.

Nora: Another one that’s just kinda average. 6/10. She knows what colors look decent together but she doesn’t really pay attention to what’s popular.

She would say that she has a bad sense of style though

Sebastian: He has a good sense of style and isn’t afraid to rub it in. 7/10 (it’s actually 9/10 but he loses points bc he’s an asshole about it).

39.Would they ever crash a wedding?

Original Aequitas Members

Alex: No. It’s both incredibly disrespectful to both the couple and the guests. If she needs something from the couple then she’ll wait until after the wedding.

Jasper: No. His grandma raised him better than that.

Zoe: Never! Zoe’s a huge romantic and would hate herself forever if she even accidentally ruined someones wedding.

Rowan: Not unless it was like an emergency or something. Or the couple were assholes.

Sidekick Squad

Vesper: Probably. I can see them doing it because they think it would be funny (they’re kinda an asshole if you haven’t noticed).

Leon: Another one who is apart of the “raised better than that squad”. His mother would literally kill him if he even thought about it.

Juniper: No. I can see her thinking about it if the couple were assholes but she’d never actually do it.

Nora: Never. Would literally have a panic attack if she even accidentally slightly messed something at the wedding up.

Sebastian: No. Another one that would think about it if the couple sucked but politeness has been drilled into him.

[spanishsenpai]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 2

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

Here you go Dying Light 2 enjoyers. Have some more Aitor hurt juice. It hasn't come up yet but I've decided Aitor was meant to be shorter than everyone else. Dying Light Jesus told me it had to be this way.

A kick to the gut couldn't kill Aitor so Waltz decides maybe he has further potential.

Read it on AO3 if you'd rather! :D

“Die scum!” Aitor yelled, lunging for Waltz with a knife clenched in each fist. He only managed to get in one swipe before Waltz’s knee collided with his stomach, just under his body armor, with the force of a sledge hammer. The wind was knocked out of him, rendering him limp long enough for Waltz to grab the back of his vest, spinning him around and tossing him. He choked out a grunt as he collided with something, likely Aiden if the yelp he heard was related. 

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. Faintly he processed that he was on something that was squirming underneath him and Waltz was nearby. If his body didn’t feel like it was rebooting, he would’ve had the forethought to roll off the person to give them a fighting chance.

Aiden shouting brought him back. He let out a desperate gasp as his diaphragm suddenly remembered how to work, sucking in the air he’d been starved of the past few minutes. 

As he gasped and coughed, a sickening thwack jolted him from his stupor. Boots appeared in front of his face. A raspy snarl escaped Aitor’s throat as Waltz snatched his hair to pull him up to his face. 

“Stubborn aren’t you? Just won’t die like the rest of these dogs,” Waltz practically growled, kneeling in front of him. 

Aitor’s eyes widened in rage. His shaky legs scrambled under him and around Aiden’s limp form as he aimed a punch at Waltz’s face. “Shut your fucking mou- !”

His fist was grabbed faster than he could process and then squeezed until Aitor was on the verge of screaming. He tried to jerk back as Waltz let go of his hair but the man’s grip strength was unrelenting. He could feel the bones in his hand creaking from the pressure and feared they would shatter if Waltz didn’t let go.

“Too stubborn to die. Too stupid to live. Maybe you weren’t cut out for that promotion after all.” Waltz shoved him back, tossing him backwards on the other side of Aiden’s unconscious body. “Oh well. Mistakes happen. I’ve got what I came for either way.”

His chest ached too fiercely to react quick enough as Waltz stepped over to where he’d fallen and grabbed the shoulder strap of his body armor. “What to do with you now,” he hummed, tapping some strange device against his chin.

Aitor’s muscles tensed as he prepared to try and attack again. Waltz must have had some super human sense as, the moment Aitor jerked to lunge, Waltz gripped his shoulder strap tighter and threw him into the tunnel wall like Aitor weighed nothing more than a baseball. His back collided with the wall, head bouncing against the concrete, leaving him stunned yet again as he fell to the floor, landing on his stomach with a cry. The back of his head throbbed fiercely in time with his ribs, nausea threatening to make him sick.

“Tsk, tsk,” Waltz taunted as he stalked over. He watched the lieutenant weakly try to get back to his hands and knees as he gasped hard. Waltz kicked out, catching him in his already tender ribs. Aitor cried out, limbs collapsing under him. His body armor might as well have been a thin jacket with all the good it did against Waltz’s attacks. 

“Do you really think there’s anything you can do to me?” he asked, placing a heavy boot on the middle of Aitor’s back. “Do you think there’s anything you could do to stop me from doing what I’m doing?” Waltz chuckled darkly, “I’m far more than your feeble human body will ever be.”

Aitor’s heart was pounding. Waltz had disarmed him so quickly and plowed through his squad like they were nothing more than toddlers.

“You Peacekeepers are nothing more than a nuisance.” Waltz paused, stomping down on Aitor’s back to see if he was still awake. He grinned at the weak gasp he got in response. He could feel the laborious breaths Aitor was taking under the weight of his boot. Before all this apocalypse business, Waltz hadn't been the sociopathic type. Maybe it was the desperation of his goal or maybe it was the Volatile instincts running through him, but these days, causing pain with no end goal was much more appealing than it had ever been.

“... You… You’re a fu-...” Aitor ran out of breath before he could finish. He was dizzy even when he was only laying down. His headache was only getting worse.

“Look at you. Still fighting. It's almost endearing... Hmm, maybe I do have a use for you after all.”

Waltz took his foot off Aitor’s back, not missing the deeper breath the lieutenant took. He tucked the GRE key safely in his coat pocket before bending down and grabbing Aitor by the top and bottom of his vest. With a grunt, more from expected exertion rather than actual effort, he tossed the Peacekeeper over his shoulder. 

Aitor wheezed at the sudden shoulder to his aching ribs. He could taste blood in his mouth and dazedly wondered if he was internally bleeding or had just bitten his tongue. It took a second for him to process that Waltz was walking out of the tunnel with him over his shoulder. His eyes widened as he snarled, attempting to thrash even as his ribs screamed at him. His hands grabbed the back of Waltz’s jacket as he tried to climb over the shoulder and roll to the ground. 

Waltz just sighed at his effort and leaned forward slightly to drop the Peacekeeper on the ground. Aitor groaned in pain as his sore body once again made contact with the rough ground. 

“I should have known you might take extra convincing,” Waltz said, though it didn’t sound like he was speaking to Aitor. He walked out of Aitor’s fuzzy view but returned too fast for Aitor to even think of an escape. His world was ragged breathing and pain until Waltz knelt down next to him again and snatched his wrists in that same steel grip. There was a quiet zip of a zip tie before his hands were dropped. Waltz shuffled to his feet and did the same to his ankles, having to use two zip ties to account for Aitor’s thick boots.

“There we go. That should keep you from doing anything idiotic.”

Aitor was back on his shoulder before he could process the words. Damn his aching head. 

He hissed as they left the tunnel and the bright sun seemed to sear his eyes. He clenched them shut and then immediately regretted that as Waltz jumped. His stomach was in his throat as the jump felt more like a roller coaster. The landing was no better as the shoulder was slammed into his diaphragm, making him jolt and croak out a cry. No human should be able to jump like that. 

He managed to open his eyes and felt sick as he saw the gap Waltz must have just cleared. Even with his eyes fighting between being focused and unfocused, he could tell the gap between the two pieces of broken freeway had to be over 10 meters across.

That was all the time he had to think about it as Waltz leaped again. This time, the landing made Aitor blackout for a few minutes. When he came to, Waltz was sliding down a diagonal wall of solar panels. Aitor picked out the broken freeway in the corner of his eye. The many gaps Waltz must have jumped had made the agony in his ribs all the worse. 

Fuck, it hurt.

“I’m at the car factory,” he heard Waltz say though it sounded far away. Aitor made a half hearted attempt to squirm but it felt like even tensing his muscles took his breath away.

Waltz jumped and Aitor returned to unawareness.

The second time he woke up he was in a bare concrete room. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to remember how he’d gotten here. 

“Fuck,” he cursed quietly as the memories came rushing back as well as his headache.

His wrists were still zip tied together. A quick tug of his legs showed the same with them. Carefully pressing his shoulder blades back told him he was on a thin mattress. Probably not new considering the smell of it. His brow furrowed. He was going to have to sit up to learn anything else, such as if that door across from him was unlocked. 

A sharp exhale left his nose that turned to a muffled scream as he grit his teeth. Getting up involved propping himself up on one elbow and turning partially on his side. He had to take a break when he got to that point to just breathe. His ribs hurt and were making it nearly impossible to move. 

Were they broken? Probably. That would be just his luck. 

God, he was out of breath but breathing hurt even worse. Fuck Waltz. He wished he’d killed him when he’d had the chance. His heart picked up its pace as he thought about that little fight. Had he really even had a chance then?

Okay break time over. 

He hissed as he laid his palms flat on the mattress and pushed himself up, shuffling his legs to be under him. Sweat was beading around his forehead by the time he’d gotten to a sitting position, leaning heavily on the concrete wall. He panted which made him feel more lightheaded but it was the only form of breathing he could bear at the moment. God his head hurt. 

He brought shaky arms up and felt around the back of his head. Even pressing lightly he cringed as his fingers found a sore spot. His hair was sticky with half dried blood and he was sure it trailed down to his shirt collar. 

When was the last time he’d been banged up this bad? He couldn’t even remember. It felt like he’d been hunting Lucas’s killer for forever at this point. He wilted slightly; it seems he wasn’t going to get that justice they’d been hunting for after all. No time to dwell on that right now. Not when his current situation was still full of unknowns. If he could get his hands on a walkie, he could radio headquarters and hopefully get a rescue party. At the very least, someone could tell Patricia he wasn’t dead like he was sure they would assume when his squad was found.

He groaned softly. Patricia was going to kill him. This day just kept getting better and better.

It suddenly occurred to him to check his pockets. He’d been prepared to fight going into that tunnel and had brought as many weapons as he could carry. Even more important though, he’d had some combat morphine. It was rare to have but he always liked to have some on him just in case. Unfortunately, even though his body armor had been left on, his pockets were emptied. Even the small knife that had been strapped to his calf under his pants leg was gone.

Damn, guess he was continuing this the hard way.

He sucked in a breath before leaning forward to be on his hands and knees. This would be the worst part of this whole process. Gritting his teeth, he quickly hopped up, getting his feet under him. He forced himself to bite his tongue to curb a scream as his ribs were unbearably squeezed. Quickly he stood up straight, leaning against the wall again as he tried to get his breath back. His legs felt like jelly and his hands were trembling slightly. 

He was up though. He just had to stay that way. Once his legs were locked up enough to keep him up, he tested just how tightly zip tied his ankles were. At the very least, he had just enough room to slowly shuffle to the door. Not a great situation for his ego but at least he could move.

The room wasn’t very big and yet as he got closer to the rusty metal door he could hear more voices and footsteps. He couldn’t make out words but the speech patterns were enough to tell him he was surrounded by Renegades. Had to be. No one else talked in such a screechy way.

His vision swam occasionally, forcing him to stay leaning partially on the wall as he shuffled. His little hopping maneuver had done no favors for his head. The single bright light above him was also adding to the pounding pulsing through his temples. He’d kill for some aspirin right now. 

His hand brushed against the peeling red paint of the door. He tried not to get his hopes up but as he turned the handle and was met with resistance, he growled. The chance had been slim at best but testing the door had been his only plan. He was pretty incapable at the moment and with nothing else to occupy his mind, the pain came rushing to replace it. 

Suddenly he desperately needed to sit down. His hands came down to gently press against his stomach. Regret flooded through him instantly as that nearly had him dropping to the floor to throw up. Holy hell. How was he moving right now?

Shit he needed to sit. Falling on the concrete would not help his situation. Just as he’d turned to go back to the mattress in the far corner, the latch on the door jangled and clicked as it was unlocked. Aitor stumbled back, nearly falling anyway as he tripped slightly over the zip ties. 

He grimaced and scowled as he carefully cradled his ribs while Waltz strolled into the room. 

Waltz seemed agitated but as he saw Aitor up and moving, he smirked, “Welcome back. I was worried I’d regret my choice but I’m glad you’re making it worth my while.”

It pissed Aitor off that the man didn’t even feel the need to close the door. “Shut your fu-” he began to croak out, surprising himself a little that his voice was so raspy.

Waltz interrupted him though, striding towards him, “Now, now. Have a seat.” Before Aitor could tell him where to go and how to get there, Waltz was grabbing his shoulder strap and dragging him over to the mattress. A flash of comparing himself to a scruffed cat flew to the forefront of his mind, filling him with rage. The feeling was only maximized by the fact that the toes of his boots were barely brushing the floor.

Aitor’s curse was cut off as he was dropped on the mattress. Not even the comfiest mattress would have made the fall bearable. Aitor coughed, but refused to freeze up this time. A choked snarl escaped him as he kicked out as hard as he could. Waltz didn’t react to the hard kick to the shin other than to tilt his head slightly at him. 

“Yes,” he said after a moment, “I’d say this was a good choice. You will make an excellent test subject. Seeing that you survive the process, I already have your first mission in mind.”

“Wh… What the fuck are you…” he gasped, glaring at Waltz as he turned back on his back. “... talking about?” He hated how his words slurred. With the way his vision was swimming though, it was a miracle he was still awake.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Waltz crowed, kneeling down in front of him. His eyes bore into Aitor’s, looking for something. Aitor glared back.

“You’ll hang for this,” Aitor spat. “When they find my squad and my body is missing-”

“Nothing will happen.” Waltz leaned forward, hand reaching out towards Aitor’s face. Aitor snarled and attempted to slap Waltz’s hand away. A terrible sense of deja vu washed over him though as Waltz snatched his hands, overpowering him easily and pulling them down. Aitor wasn’t cowed though and tried to fight back anyway, raising his leg to kick again, especially spurred on by how close Waltz’s face was. Before he could even draw his legs back to strike, Waltz gripped his fingers and squeezed.

“Fuck!” Aitor snapped, arm jerking back as though he could escape Waltz’s hold.

Waltz seemed uninterested in this, simply using his other hand to grab Aitor’s jaw and hold his head still. The lieutenant’s nostrils flared in barely concealed pain. He swallowed thickly, fighting to keep from actually screaming as Waltz’s grip tightened every few seconds until he could feel his heartbeat pounding through the compressed veins in his fingers. 

Finally, he seemed satisfied and released Aitor’s jaw. “Do you truly think you are irreplaceable? Nobody is coming for you. They don't care about you. You are mine to do with as I see fit.” Waltz grinned, face morphing into something a little terrifying with the dark veins crawling up his cheeks. “How exciting.”

Waltz let go of him and stood, striding to the door. He stopped in the doorframe, not even turning back to his prisoner as he said, “Sit tight. We’ll be moving to a more permanent location soon.” The door slammed close as Aitor was forming an insult in his mind. 

“Fucker,” was all he came up with.

[hutaoscoffinn]

Head in hands

Rika SFW imagine/hc/whatever youre vibing with right now; a GN! Reader. Reader gets cold, how does Rika keep them warm? Holding hands? Lap cuddles? MOTHER BEGS FOR FLUFF

This made me squeal bc this is SO FUCKING CUTE HELLO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so in love with Rika that piece of shit (affectionate)

Warnings: none, its super fluffy, tooth rottenly fluffy even, Rika is a massive simp because as she should be, gn! Reader, this is so fluffy and cute ohmyGOD

Character: Rika of the Elite 4

Requests: OPEN

Well it’s starting to get colder so its no shock that you get cold sometimes

Rika usually doesn’t mind the cold, sticking to her usual button up with the sleeves rolled up and dress pants no matter what the weather is

Cmon she wore that at the 8th gym which was in the literal mountains like woman hoW

But when you and Rika start dating she immediately notices how you’ll start shivering in the cold, teeth chattering as the cold air seeps into your bones

So, Rika starts wearing a blazer to pass off to you whenever you get cold during the cooler seasons

Its a thick blazer, good quality that smells like her and as soon as she notices you shiver she’s wrapping it around you

This usually takes place in public settings when she has to keep up professional appearances and can’t get too affectionate with you

In private however?

Rika will be all over you

She’s a teasing shit so she will turn down the air to make you cold so you’ll cuddle up to her

And as soon as you start inching your way over to her, she swoops you up in her arms and settles you against her chest or in her lap

She’ll start kissing your cheeks and forehead as she hugs you tight, wrapping a blanket around you both or carrying you to bed so she can hold you nice and close

If you like hot chocolate or prefer hot coffee, tea, or even just warm milk she will make it for you as you two settle down to cuddle

Rika definitely enjoys this little strategy of turning down the temperature in your apartment at night too

That way, throughout the night she can hold you close and enjoy the affection you give her as you continue to cuddle up against her, seeking her warmth

If you ever do catch Rika’s little scheme of keeping your apartment cold and say something to her, she will brush it off as keeping the heat bill down

Despite the fact that the apartment feels like a goddamn tundra in the summer but Rika is more than happy to pay extra for the AC bill if it keeps you snuggled against her

Another one of Rika’s ways to keep you warm is to let you wear her shirts, sweaters, jackets, hoodies, ect

You name it she lets you wear it

She will probably even buy larger clothes to wear not only because she likes oversized clothes cmon have you SEEN how her button up hangs off her? But because she wants you to look adorable in her clothes as well

It doesn’t matter how tall, short, or what weight you are, Rika will get clothes that fit you comfortably and then wear them so that they smell like her before she passes them off to you to keep you warm and enjoy

This tactic especially helps when Rika has to do business for the Pokémon league which may keep her out of the house for days at a time

When she does have to leave, she will make sure you have plenty of her clothes and blankets to snuggle up to while she’s gone so that she can keep you warm even when she’s away~

Paldea was getting colder again as the fall and winter months settled across the vast land. It felt as though the frosty, winter mountain cursed the land to be covered in a hellish cold and you were sick of it. You had already gotten more than enough of the cold when you traveled that god forsaken mountain during your gym circuit when you traveled all over the damn thing to take on two gyms and fight Team Star’s fairy squad.

Which led to now, you gripping a fluffy blanket around yourself as your teeth chattered together thanks to what felt like frost covering your body. You hear a low chuckle behind you and you don’t even have to turn around to know who would dare take humor in your torture.

“Its not funny Rika. Stop laughing,” you huff, annoyed with your partner’s amusement at your devastating situation. You’re ready to curse at her when she laughs louder before you find yourself being pulled into a pair of warm arms.

Rika settles you in her lap, tugging your form tight against her body. She adjusts the blanket around you both and a small smile forms on her lips as you nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck, cuddling closer to her warmth.

“Better?” She asks with a small hum, amusement present in her voice that you choose to ignore in favor of soaking in your girlfriend’s warmth.

“Mmm much better.”

Rika’s chuckles softly before she presses a sweet kiss to your temple as she begins to rub your back lovingly.

“That’s it, just let me keep you warm, my angel.”

Reblogs are always appreciated <3

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?

So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....

Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....

So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.

And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”

And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”

And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”

And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.

Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.

“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.

“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”

Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”

“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 

“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.

“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”

“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 

What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?

Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 

“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”

He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”

As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 

“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”

Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.

“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”

He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”

Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”

Signal just snorts.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”

“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”

“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”

“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”

Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”

“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”

“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”

“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”

“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”

The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.

“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”

Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”

“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”

“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 

“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”

“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”

“You did what?”

“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”

Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.

“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”

“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.

“Plus he bribes better.”

“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”

Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”

“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”

“Its called an homage, 4chan.”

“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."

Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.

“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”

Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”

Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.

“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”

“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”

Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”

“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.

Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”

“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”

“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.

“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”

“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”

Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 

“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”

“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”

Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”

“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”

Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.

“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.

She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”

“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.

“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.

“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”

She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”

“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.

Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.

Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.

“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”

Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”

“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.

“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.

“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”

Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”

“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”

“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.

Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.

Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:

“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”