#but giant spartan girlfriend

[empresskadia]

I have no self-control :’)

and I fully blame @biomecharnotaurus

I’ll color this eventually but omg Raya’s almost foot taller than John after she becomes a IV

So lore wise, braiding her hair is very important to Raya since it’s the only form of affection she remember from her mother [her relationship with her parents was complicated]. ODST!John tries but it always send her into a fit of giggles after he’s done

But in the actual storyline, it takes the Chief three tries and he gets it down, but that’s a story for another time and a drawing for a different day.

[sadlynojellybeans]

So I am re-reading TOA and i have decided to write some things i noticed now that I know what is going to happen next.

THE HIDDEN ORACLE

Meg was about do develop a crush on Percy, and Apollo noticed. It was immediatly curbed by Percy mentioning his girlfriend. He did not even notice XD

Apollo actually got out of the three legged death race unscathed O.o Scared to death but unharmed

Lester is being surprisingly not pathetic??? I mean, he can't remember shit and has the constutution of a limp noodle, but he has not fainted in several chapters!!! Maybe it's because Camp Half Blood is a relatively safe space for them...

THE FORESHADOWING IN CHAPTER 26 IS DEVASTATING - he gets confirmation it is the emperors behind everything and he thinks "i would have rather tangled with Tartarus or Ouranos or Primordial Chaos" APOLLO PLEASE

Speaking of foreshadowing, Rhea?!??!? "Find your center. Enlightenment has to come from within" HELLO??!?!??

Apollo mentioning he caused an earthquake that wiped out most of Sparta and that he never liked the Spartans much??? What about HYACINTHUS???????

"I busted out some footwork the Nine Muses and I had been working on" please I want so bad to see Apollo dance. Especially Apollo as Lester

Apollo being absolutely convinced that he will never have a proper partner is tragic. "It was not in my destiny" bro

The Germani appear and the absolute first thing Apollo does is move in front of Meg. "Instinctively". This is the same guy that at the beginning of the book was evaluating which demigods would be best to keep on hand to throw at quests. I can't. Just how much exactly did he repress his protective instincts through the years and centuries?

I find so fascinating that Apollo wants to strike Nero down immediately after meeting him. Like, yes. Apollo is a god. And he would not allow anyone to threaten what he cares about. Even after his trials, he might be kinder and more attentive to demigods, but I think that anybody who crosses him (really crosses him) will have to start praying for mercy.

If there is one thing I can say about TOA is that it is certainly expanding my musical horizons, with all the songs I have to check out on youtube just to have an idea of what Apollo is singing about.

He did not suck during the confrontation with Nero?! Burst of godly strength saved the day and his dignity

"Just because she had lied about being my friend did not mean I wasn't hers. She was in danger. I was not going to leave her" man. He cares so fucking much. No wonder he never let anybody get close to him in the last years.

Didn't they say a sonnet was worse than a limerick in the next book?

"BLESS HIS CONNIVING LITTLE HEART". "Children of Hermes cannot rap". "[Cecil] was demoted to dancer" skjsjskansnkzbsnsmmsnzm

It's kind of ... sad? How happy Apollo is when flying on the giant ants. He is used to being a god who can fly whenever he wants, and a part of him is usually in the sky every day as he drives the sun chariot. And instead he has been stranded on earth, away from what is both his duty and something he greatly enjoys. "It felt so good to fly again. [...] For two or three seconds I was exhilarated".

AND THE ARROW OF DODONA IS FINALLY HERE AND TALKING FRIENDS!!!!

I cannot believe I am so happy because of a talking arrow

The arrow QUIVERED kjsnsksjsnsnzjxndnsk i love them so much

Not Apollo asking where Jason Grace is 💀

I genuinely cannot understand if this is foreshadowing or really lucky wording on Riordan's part. Rachel asks about Meg and Apollo thinks "She might as well have plunged the Arrow of Dodona into my chest". RICK. RICK DID YOU KNOW? HAD YOU ALREADY THOUGTH ABOUT THAT SCENE IN TBM OR WAS IT PURE CHANCE????

WE WERE ROBBED. I have been wondering for a few days if in TOA we ever see Apollo sing for fun (not to confuse enemies, not to open doors, not for any practical purpose. Just for the fun of it). The depressing answer seems to be no, although I might have forgotten. At the end of THO it is implied that Apollo, Leo and Calypso join the sing-along at CHB, but the fact that the books end before we actually see him sing is a travesty.

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Scottish artist Jack Vettriano.

Born Jack Hoggan 1951 in St. Andrews, I think many of us will identify with Jack’s upbringing in the industrial seaside town of Methil, in Fife.

The family lived in a spartan miner’s cottage, sharing a bed with his brother and wearing hand-me-down clothes. From the age of 10, his father sent him out delivering papers and milk, cleaning windows and picking potatoes — any job that would earn money, he took half his earning from the youngster.

At 16, like so many in the Fife area he went into the pits, as a mining engineer, he also spent sometime as a bingo caller at the Beachcomber Amusements on Leven Promenade.

For his 21st birthday, his then girlfriend gave him a set of watercolour paints, from there he taught himself to paint. His first attempts at painting were copies of impressionist paintings such as Poppy Fields by Claude Monet. His early influences also included works displayed in the Kirkcaldy Museum and Art Gallery. He moved to Edinburgh in 1987 and adopted the last name of Vettriano, his mother’s maiden name. Jack applied to study Fine Art at the University of Edinburgh, but his portfolio was rejected.

A year later he submitted two paintings for sale to the Royal Scottish Academy. He sold both paintings, and galleries began approaching him to sell his work. Vettriano successfully exhibited his work in many cities, including Edinburgh, Hong Kong, London, and New York. Vettriano’s paintings typically sell for between £48,000 and £195,000, and his total income from royalties is £500,000 per year.

The Royal Academy rejected The Singing Butler for its 1992 summer exhibition, but it sold for £744,500 in 2004, and I say good on him, I suspect their refusal was more to do with snobbery than anything else.

Jack went on to create a series of seven paintings in 1996 that commemorated Sir Malcolm Campbell’s land-speed records at the Bonneville Salt Flats. The most expensive painting in this series was Bluebird at Bonneville, which sold for £468,000 in 2007.

It’s not all about pocketing his earnings though, Bethany Christian Trust, Maggie’s Cancer Caring Centres, Quarriers and Teenage Cancer Trust are just a few of the charities to have benefitted from the sale of some of his paintings.

Vettriano collaborated with Sir Jackie Stewart in 2008 to create Tension, Timing, Triumph – Monaco 1971, a triptych that commemorated Stewart’s overall victory of the 1971 Formula One racing season The Weight is Vettriano’s self-portrait, which has been displayed in the Scottish National Portrait Gallery since 2011.

He likes to gamble on horses, but only bets what he can afford to lose, which I think would mean every day!!!

Jack has set up the Vettriano Trust, and plans to leave his money in the trust “to do good work”

His work rarely fails at auction - he points out that a recent oil painting of his sold for £35,000, well above the estimate. Reproductions of the painting remain the best selling art print in the UK.

But while Vettriano is loved, he's also loathed.

His work has been variously described as "brainless erotica", "just colouring in" "mere wallpaper" and "crass male fantasy ". But another artist David Mach says: "If he was a fashion designer Jack would be right up there. It's all just art world snobbery." Just as I said earlier.

Now 70, he still has his demons, and still rails against the establishments which continue to shut him out. But after two postponements and nearly three years of waiting, he recently said he's delighted his exhibition in Kirkcaldy finally opened to the public earlier this year

One of my favourites by Vettriano is “Dr Connolly I Presume” –which Glasgow street artist Rogue One reproduced in a giant mural outside Hootenanny Bar at Dixon Street, but it is danger of being destroyed as there are plans for a new building to go up there.

Meanwhile Fife Council are trying to raise funds for a statue of his Singing Butler,as seen in the third pic, at least he is being recognised there as I still see a lot of snobbery in the art world towards him, at least in Scotland.

You can check out more from this talented Fifer on his own web site below, and while some of his work is described as erotic, it really is very tame, naughty but nice I would say.

https://www.jackvettriano.com/

[firewvlk]

BASICS

full name: atreus | loki

occupation: carpenter

titles: champion of the jötnar, god of mischief, god of deception, god of artifice, god of trickery, god of lies, god of magic, god of war, god of chaos, god of destruction, god of earthquakes, god of stories, god of change, father of monsters

nicknames/aliases: loki laufeyson, wolf (ulfur), bear (björn), the champion (sa kappi), champ, boy, little brother, son of a spartan, tre', lok', midgard giant, junior, half-breed, giant disaster, little mongrel, jötunn, little trickster

age: 22

date of birth: tba

gender identity: cismale

preferred pronouns: he/him

species: half-jötunn (frost giant) & half-greek god

sexual orientation: pansexual

romantic orientation: panromantic

spoken languages: nearly all of them throughout the realms; including animal, dead, elves, dwarves, and soul

ethnicity: jötnar, greek, olympian

nationality: scandinavian / midgardian

religion: n/a

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

face claim: cody christian

height: 6′ 10″

weight: 232 lbs.

body type: athletic

hair color: brown

eye color: blue

accent: american

scars: numerous on his face, including one that resembles his father’s tattoo

tattoos: runes along his arms, hands/fingers, and neck & a norse sleeve

piercings: n/a

notable physical traits: height, facial scars, many tattoos

PHOBIAS & DISORDERS

phobias: n/a

mental disorders: n/a

physical disorders: n/a

BACKGROUND

hometown: wildwoods, midgard

current location: sydney, australia

financial status: middle class

criminal convictions: n/a

RELATIONSHIPS

father: kratos

mother: laufey †

siblings: calliope † (half-sister)

significant others: allyson nelson (girlfriend)

children: jörmungandr & fenrir (technically he created them both)

rivals: n/a

enemies: baldur †, thor † (sometimes), modi †, magni †, heimdall †, odin †

PERSONALITY

horoscope: tba

theme song: one footprint behind

mbti: enfp

enneagram: 7w6 – the pathfinder

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

moral alignment: chaotic good

primary vice: wrath

primary virtue: charity

element: water

[hrodvitnon]

Had some Monster X/Ling thoughts, and also a bit of San and Maddie playing the vidya gaems. Just a bunch of disjointed ideas, really.

---

By some bizarre happenstance, not only is Monster X now the size and appearance of a human, there are two of them now. Currently attached to the Vivienne half in an ecstatic embrace is who Ling assumes is San; he looks remarkably normal for a Ghidorah-related creature, sharing Vivienne’s hair and skin colors, just with red eyes instead of hazel, bearing a dorkishly handsome face and muscular build. Ling doesn’t know what to think about the Vivienne half; it looks like her, just with a stronger build and a grayish complexion to her skin and dark circles under those eyes, and if not for her dark brown hair having turned prematurely white, Vivienne would look like she walked out of a German expressionist film. She looks tired but returns San's tight embrace with tears leaking over her crow's feet, mouth spread into a wide, bright smile.

Even if she looks different, it feels good to see Vivienne smiling so broadly again.

---

Almost nobody approaches San, which is understandable. When he's not with Vivienne, he keeps to himself and sort of observes the people around him in much the same way a person watches animals at the zoo. The only one brave enough to walk up to him and say hello is Madison, who talks with him for a moment. Pleasantries and such.

An awkward silence ensues, and then Maddie invites him to the game room if he wants to see the games she and Vivienne used to play together. He happily accepts, which turns out to be a good thing. Madison gives him time to figure out both the controller and how it affects the character on screen, but San is a quick study and soon plays like a natural. Eventually they're messing around in Halo and Maddie playfully accuses San of cheating when his avatar chucks a plasma grenade which sticks to a rival Spartan's visor and immediately explodes in a blue burst, taking the whole squad with him, the game dramatically announcing "Overkill!"

"Do you know how long it took me to find an opportunity like that?" Madison laughs. "The enemy team almost never clusters that close together!"

"Think faster, then!" San grins.

---

Monster X – Vivienne – eats like an animal.

It makes sense, considering the amount of time she’s spent as a hundred-and-thirty foot tall monster, but Ling still can’t help but watch in some shock seeing how the former-human-turned-Titan-turned-human-again woman wolf down the cafeteria food with her hands like a ravenous ape. She doesn’t even sit down like a normal plantigrade human, she just hops up and crouches like a monkey, and Ling halfway expects to see a long tail sweeping along the floor.

Vivienne notices Ling’s stare and pauses, bits of mashed potato and steak juice stuck to her face, finally observes the unused fork and knife that would ordinarily be used by civilized hands. Her cheeks flush in embarrassment and she awkwardly grabs the fork like she’s trying to remember how to properly hold one.

"Sorry," she mumbles, holding the fork lengthwise instead of like a pencil.

Ling tries to lighten the mood. "It's okay. I mean, the Titans haven't exactly figured out dipping sweet potatoes in saltwater, have they?"

"I bloody wish we had giant sweet potatoes," Vivienne smiles, her teeth sharp.

Ling watching Vivi chow down: Do you still eat pussy like that?

---

“You and sister were mates?” San asks innocently, and Ling blushes at the implications.

“Sort of,” she answers. “Humans don’t exactly have mates. We have boyfriends and girlfriends, and if we decide to stay with each other we get married, maybe even have children. Vivienne and I were girlfriends for a few years and then we broke up, but we’ve stayed good friends ever since.”

San scratches his cheek. “Oh... now it makes sense! Sometimes she would think about you a lot, and that made her happy.”

That gets Ling’s attention. “Really? What about me did she think about? No, wait, don’t tell me. I wouldn’t want to intrude on her privacy.”

“Are you sure? I could ask if it’s okay. There was this one thought that kind of made her feel sad, but...” San is suddenly interrupted by Vivienne’s arrival; once the shorter woman realizes what he’s referring to she swiftly jumps in. There’s a telling blush on her cheeks even as Vivienne distracts her brother with the idea of making some snack or other, though when Ling catches her eye she ducks her head and mouths ‘we’ll talk later.’

---

“San mentioned a certain memory of mine,” Vivienne says quietly. “Or, he tried to. If you wanted, I could... I mean, while I still have time to stay this size...”

“Vivienne, what are you talking about?”

A beat.

Vivienne’s hand covers her mouth. “So, you remember when we broke up?”

“Yes?”

“Well, this was just before we had that talk, and er... granted, I hadn’t made any purchases or anything, I wanted to see how you would feel about it, but I had started thinking about the future. But I didn’t want to do anything you didn’t want to, and then we had the talk and you were afraid things weren’t working out, so there wasn’t much point in thinking it over anymore, so...”

Ling’s heart skips a beat. If Vivienne had been thinking about the future around the time they’d broken up, then surely that didn’t mean...?

“Vivienne, are you saying—?”

The human-Titan blushes, the gray tinge of her skin making it appear purplish. Her hazel eyes flick over to Ling nervously. Ling holds her breath, suddenly recalling an antique ring her own mother had given her, an engagement ring passed down the Chen family for generations. There was a time when she would lie in bed after a blissful date with Vivienne and hold that ring between her fingers, wondering how Vivienne would react if one night Ling were to take a knee and pull out a little box...

It never happened, of course. Instead they'd mutually decided to break up once it became clear they weren't cut out for a long-distance relationship at any given time, and the ring went to Ilene who actually did end up getting married – even if it didn't last long at all.

Vivienne almost whispers, "If there was anyone in the world I would have wanted to marry..."

"You still thought about the two of us? Even after all this time, after everything that happened?"

"Before I learned to trust San, it was one of the things that helped keep me centered during containment. Sometimes I would remember this one date we went on, or the time you taught me how to make moon cakes."

That gets a smile out of Ling; she remembers the way Vivienne's face had lit up when she took that first bite.

---

Vivienne walks Ling back to her room, and now it feels like the first date they went on – all awkward pauses and unspoken questions like, "Can we do this again?"

A sudden yearning cracks into Ling's chest when they stop at her door, a wish for things to go back to what they used to be, before the whole world turned on its head and senate hearings kept them apart, arguments would start as easily as conversations because stress hooked its claws into them; and a small piece of Ling would blame her sister for not doing enough in Antarctica and saving Vivienne's life, blame Mark for inadvertently getting her killed...

She doesn't want to lie awake alone on a bed with no one to hold their body against hers.

"Well..." Vivienne stammers. She hesitates, waiting on Ling to say something; hazel eyes flick down to her mouth and then back up. The corner of her mouth crooks into a little smile. "Goodnight, then."

They might never get this chance again.

Vivienne just barely turns away and begins walking back when Ling's hands shoot out to take one of hers. Blunt, wide-tipped fingers fold around Ling's by pure reflex. That grayish hand is stronger than Ling remembers, but the texture is the same.

A beat.

"Stay for the night?" Ling asks her.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by calligomiles; continuing from this)

“Ah~ Home at last.” Skadi carried Rada across the threshold to her apartment, bags on a self-driving Meaboo cart behind them. “Precious? Are you awake?”

The Ursus yawned, stretching her arms and settling them around the maybe-Aegir’s neck as she did. “A little...Skadi? Can I move in with you?”

“You haven’t yet?”

“Eh?” That woke up Gummy more substantially. “I mean, I still have my own apartment.”

The bounty hunter ‘huh’d. “You do?”

“Yeah. I still have some stuff over there.” She was awake enough to walk by this point, but the chef realized Skadi had no intention of letting her down just yet.

“We can move it tonight if you want.” Skadi looked around her rather spartan apartment. “There’s enough space.”

Rada cheered, albeit a bit quieter than usual. “Yay~ Maybe after I take an actual nap, now that we’re not in the van?”

“As you wish, Precious.” The former sea denizen walked over to the bed and gently (well, as gently as she could) laid down, making sure her Gummy-bear was snug as a bug in her arms before giving in to the siren song of a well-earned nap…

“Skadi? Skaaaaaadiiii~” A few hours later, the bounty hunter was woken up by a softly insistent voice punctuated with poking at her stomach. “I thought I was the one who wanted a nap, but you were out longer than I was.”

She blinked a couple times before looking over at the clock next to her. “Hmm? Is that right?”

“It sure is. Nine whoooole hours. You were too cute to wake up, so I went ahead and moved all my stuff by myself.”

“You did?” The maybe-Aegir frowned, which didn’t translate well in the dark. “I wanted to see your old room. Ah well. Did you leave the light off the whole time?”

The Ursus giggled. “Nope! You didn’t even notice when it was on.”

“And I always thought I was a light sleeper...” Well, the past was the past. Skadi clapped three times to turn on the light-

“Wait!” And Rada immediately covered her eyes. “There’s also a surprise.”

The Abyss Hunter stood up, Gummy now a sort of face mask as she did. “A surprise? Where? I can just not look that direction.”

“W-well, it’s kind of...everywhere? Today’s our six-month anniversary, and, well, happy anniversary!” The chef dropped down so her girlfriend could see the ‘surprise’: a giant banner hanging over the dining room table, and a cake sitting underneath it.

“Cake?” She immediately picked the Ursus back up. “This really is a celebration, then. One of Blue’s, or did you make it?”

Rada gave her a curious look. “Blue’s, of course. They’re our favorite, after all.”

“Oh, you know me so well. If only I’d remembered to get something...” Skadi kicked her nightstand, and just as she’d rehearsed while Gummy was at work, a small box fell onto the floor from behind the clock.

“Eh?” The chef was let down to retrieve the mysterious object. “You remembered?”

She rolled her eyes, which didn’t get noticed because she was out of line-of-sight for the moment. The smile in her voice was unmistakable. “Forget the first day of the best six months of my life so far?”

“Aww, Skad- EEEEEE!” Rada’d found the box and popped it open.

“You like it?” The bounty hunter took being tacked to the floor as a yes. “Happy anniversary~”

Gummy took the next minute or two to smother Skadi in kisses before using her words. “I got you a cake, and you got me a ring!”

“You would’ve done the same thing if I didn’t first,” the Abyss Hunter chuckled.

“Well, yeah, but still!” She let her head fall against her girlfriend’s chest. “It just makes me so happy- no, YOU make me happy, every day waking up next to you...Really.”

Skadi squeezed her close and rolled softly from side to side. “You’re the only person I believe when you say that.”

“Mmm.” The chef sighed contently, perfectly happy where she was. The cake, the stuff she’d brought over, actually putting on the ring - all that could wait. Right now, all there was in the world was Rada, and Skadi, and love stronger than either of them had ever known.

[brinconvenient]

Green Egg and Fam

You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and do this...

So a few years back, I was talking to another trans woman who is very familiar with the DC Universe and we were trying to figure out who is Actually An Egg, and after a few suggestions back and forth, I galaxy-brained the answer. She heartily agreed and we talked about it a bit: 1. Artsy 2. Serial Monogamist who is a Relationship Disaster (Big "Do I want to Be With Her, or Be Her?" energy) 3. Becomes best friends with every ex-girlfriend 4. Noted Respecter of Women in Very Terrible and Awkward Ways 5. Chronically allergic to self-reflection and introspection, but also addicted to it in much the same way lactose intolerant people talk about how they can't give up cheese. 6. Just a complete and Utter Messy Agent of Chaos. 7. All too willing to adopt Other People's Expectations and internalize them as a Sacred Duty. 8. Just constantly Marked By Tragedy - both external and self-created.

It's Kyle Rayner, kids.

Torchbearer,

Honor Lantern,

Erstwhile Ion/avatar of the power of will

Kyle "I will be the Last of the Green Lanterns and yet keep trying to ressurect this entire Corps of Space Cops that I didn't even know existed until some Blue Dude showed up to give me jewelry and I guess marry me into the Corps? Because I guess that's just my job now and that will become my whole personality" Rayner.

After the conversation, this - the only fanfic I have literally ever written popped out of my head fully formed. It's intended to really be Chapter 1 of Several which are basically conversations between Kyle and one Ex-Girlfriend per chapter as Kyle finally accepts herself and transitions.

Eventually she reveals that the name "Ion" comes from her real name "ImOgeN" because she read Nevada and Was Impacted and she's just that extra.

But, honestly, despite getting started on the Alex chapter ages ago, I never have drawn the energy to go back and finish and/or write more, so I'm just gonna share the first chapter of what I am calling:

"Green Egg and Fam"

Putting the actual content behind the Read More because I've already rambled too long.

“It’s just exhausting, you know? Every few years it seems like I have to pick up the pieces of my life, my memory, my self and figure out who the hell I am! Every time I get a handle on things, someone or something comes along and shakes up the snow globe,y’know? I’ve tried to talk to Diana about it and, like, she’s compassionate and cares and offers sympathy, but most of the time, my whole relationship with her is just one more flake in the globe and I never know who we’re going to be to each other. Somehow, though, you’re always my favorite ex-boyfriend. It’s weird, right?”

Kyle patted Donna’s arm reassuringly. He glanced from Donna’s face to the view over Lake Michigan. There was no more beautiful view of the lakeshore than the roof of the John Hancock Building. He could just about make out the lights of the small shore towns across the lake in Michigan, and he could see the industrial Indiana towns along the round tip of the lake.

“I’m not positive I like that descriptor of our relationship, but I am happy to be some kind of constant for you,” he said with a rueful smile. “Donna, you are one of my dearest friends and I always want to be here for you. I know you didn’t need my help with Dr. Psycho here, but I’m glad I was Earthside to help you out anyway.”

They’d taken the diminutive psychic menace to the Chicago Special Crimes Unit, who had training and facilities for telepaths and telekinetics. They found this perch when Donna said she just needed a little bit to settle down before heading back to the Titans Tower in New York.

“No, I had him just about handled - a Lasso of Persuasion is pretty useful, after all - but I’m glad you swung through, all the same,” Donna said. “I’m glad to have a friend here. Psycho was really messing with my head this time. He kept dredging through my memory, pulling out bits and pieces of lives lived and people lost. He made me relive the loss of Terry and Robert and Jenny, over and over, replayed the tortures of Dark Angel, dragged me through that whole mess with the Titans of Myth, and I’m actually not sure which of any of those actually happened in this reality anymore.”

Donna’s breath was getting ragged and tears were falling down her face, twinkling in the moonlight.

“You told me about Terry and the kids when we were dating, so since I still remember them, they must still have existed and they still loved you and you still got to love them. I’m a little fuzzy on the Titans of Myth, so I can’t be sure about that stuff. But you’re here now and that’s what’s important right now. Just take a sec to enjoy this moment, this view, this night and see how you feel, ok?” he said.

They sat in the quiet, next to each other, watching the waves reflect and distort the moonbeams. Donna’s breathing calmed down and she straightened her back, half a head taller than Kyle even while sitting.

“Thank you, Kyle. I’ll be ok now, I think. I appreciate you listening. You have a good heart. If you’d only learn to actually fight without that ring, you’d make a pretty decent Amazon. Well … if you weren’t a man, of course.”

Kyle coughed and thanked the stars that Donna couldn’t see him blush. Suddenly Kyle felt like there was lava beneath his skin and he couldn’t sit comfortably.

He didn’t want Donna to catch on, so he stifled his squirming and whipped up a quick construct of a miniature green Kyle in an Amazonian uniform, breastplate, Spartan skirt and calf boots. For added effect he made sure to widen his shoulders and used Hal Jordan as a reference for a jaw far more square than Kyle’s real life chin.

“I’m not sure I can pull off the uniform. Guess I’ll stick with green and black for now. Ha!” he said. He hoped it didn't sound as forced as it felt.

“Oh I don’t know. You’ve got great legs, Kyle! Maybe you should start wearing shorts when in uniform. Besides, you had those over-the-knee boots for the longest time. I think you’d be just fine!” Donna said, laughing.

“Give me a hug, Dick just texted me to meet him in Blüdhaven. Take care and fly safe back to Oa!” she said.

After a quick, warm embrace, she turned eastward and flew off over the lake. Kyle watched her fly out of sight. He looked down and saw little Amazon Kyle, slowly spinning in the air. He drew the construct up to eye level and returned the shoulders and jaw back to his more slender and softer reality. It didn’t look that bad actually.

He’d been trying to make Donna smile, and deflect from … something before, so he exaggerated those features to highlight the incongruence, but he didn’t hate this more realistic image.

He continue to finesse the construct’s features. Like most artists, he never really considered a piece finished, he just stopped working on it. He smoothed the musculature, narrowed the shoulders a little further, pulled the hips out just a bit more, and left the waist alone. The ersatz Kyle’s face got softer still, the brow less pronounced, the nose narrower, the chin just a bit more rounded. He watched the chest muscles soften and breasts form to fill out the breastplate better.

Finally, he lengthened the construct’s hair to shoulder length, adding some wave and curls like Donna’s somehow-always-perfect hair.

And there she was. The woman who’d been haunting Kyle’s dreams as long as he could remember. Slowly spinning in the air was a woman who could easily have been Kyle’s sister, wearing Amazonian garb (or at least what he remembered from seeing Donna’s while they were dating so many years ago).

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he started fiddling with the image, and he didn’t know how long he’d spent staring at the final form. Sister. Yeah, right.

With an angry wave he flashed his hand through the construct, dissolving and dispersing the light particles that he’d given form. He hastily looked around the roof to make sure no one had seen him or, specifically, seen the construct. The burning sensation of shame returned instantly and he immediately flew into the sky until the buildings looked like so many light-speckled building blocks.

He took himself through a calming exercise he learned from Kilowog to help him center himself and sling his ring “like he wasn’t a complete Poozer and deserved to wear it.” Kilowog had no appreciation for just how hard it was for other people to feel calm when he was around. Still, Kyle found it helped when the pink giant wasn’t breathing down his neck.

“My will is strong enough to carry the torch for the entire Green Lantern Corps, I can stop these feelings. I can make all of these thoughts go away. I can stop this. I’ve got too much responsibility to keep indulging this … this nonsense” he thought, trying to ignore the sting of the tears fighting their way free to fall down his face, ignore the pain in his heart.

“I don’t want to lose my friends - what would Donna say? Would she think I was a pervert, or making fun of her somehow? I definitely don’t want to lose Hal’s and the guys’ respect. I don’t want to lose my whole life just because I’m some kind of freak. Get it together, Rayner. No one else is feeling sorry for themselves because they don’t fit in.”

He pulled a hand down his face and pointed his right fist with it’s gaudy, shining green ring on the middle finger toward the Milky Way and flew into space. He hoped the cold solitude of the transluminal conduits would help him regain his composure before he faced Guy, Hal, John and Kilowog for the Honor Lantern meeting. For the millionth time, he wished he could just be more like them, have just a sliver of their easy and effortless masculinity. They made it look so simple.

“Bet they don’t spend half their life trying to figure out what is wrong with them,” he thought. He tried so hard not to envy them, but it was really hard sometimes.

Especially nights like tonight where his resolve had failed him yet again and he gave in to his most hidden thoughts. He entered the transluminal conduit between Saturn and Jupiter and closed his eyes.

He traveled faster than light, but it still took time to reach Oa, so he tried to sleep and hoped that his dreams wouldn’t betray him again.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

I’m trying to compare Doomguy’s military career to John’s because it would be hilarious if he outranked him, and also super helpful. Like John is old but also constantly in stasis and that’s fucked up but could be a bonding moment. in Doom 3 he’s a corporal but army and navy are different and john is master chief petty officer and I literally do my best to avoid military shit

John is a dog on a chain and if you were a part of his team he’d die for you and if you were his superior he’d get the job done, unless he thinks it’s wrong (see Halo 4).

Like John has “orders“ but he’s an asshole.

Master Chief gets the job done and saves who he can while also being an adrenaline junkie.

He jumps out of spaceships free-falling with a bomb, he crashes a banshee on purpose and almost plummets to his death for a joke right before blowing up Halo (installation 04), all he has is one-liners and combat training.

He even has to put up with a giant hivemind zombie plant talking like Shakespeare (not really it’s worse but I love the Gravemind, google that fucker) and he jokes about it, in front of its face, to his enemy.

He’s really jokey to Cortana and Johnson and fills his role well but when he loses that structure he loses himself.

And like I’m not big on the extra lore beyond the games (I’m lying a bit but it’s stupid and fun to look at) but Blue Team, other Spartans who are somehow alive despite Reach and everything, are like “bro you good” in Halo 5

and his visor gets cracked, A literal crack in his shell, like he is that armor and he gets betrayed by the one person who’s not even a person, but she’s been the one there every time he wakes up, every battle, every Halo

and oh did I mention he is either on a mission or in cryosleep, because he is a weapon only. No life beyond war. He’s old, man and people don’t care if he’s a war hero. Higher ups are waiting for him to come back so they can put him down like a dog

And like that’s fucked up! I think Cortana doing That in Halo 5 means John needs to move on from being a weapon controlled by an AI mom/girlfriend who is a clone of the brain of the lady who kidnapped and experimented on him and find some peace.

He needs to have structure to replace the routine of battle and i think it’d be neat if he could connect with Gordo and Mr. Doomguy

like the man is freezer-burned scar tissue, he needs to go live on a farm and raise some chickens. he’ll have a bunker and 19 contingency plans but it’ll be a start

[yellowmagicalgirl]

either glimmadora or catradora

So I have not watched the new season yet. Also, is it okay if I combine these two ships into glitradora? Because if not then I can totally redo this with the two ships as separate

who hogs the duvet

Glimmer, though she feels bad about keeping it from Adora given her upbringing. She doesn’t feel bad about keeping it from Catra because she has freaking claws.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

Adora checks in on her girlfriends the most

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

Adora; giving gifts in the Horde had to be done stealthily

who gets up first in the morning

Catra, though after escaping the Horde she ends up taking naps

who suggests new things in bed

Glimmer suggests that Catra can actually sleep under the covers instead of at their feet. Cue confused looks from Adora and Catra.

who cries at movies

Glimmer

who gives unprompted massages

Glimmer tries it at first and gets accidentally smacked. Eventually Adora starts to do so, especially when Glimmer’s giant wings start growing in.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

Glimmer enlists Bow’s help in making her sick girlfriends understand that it’s okay to go to the doctor. (If Glimmer were to get sick Adora and Catra would try to help her hide it.)

who gets jealous easiest

Glimmer, followed by Catra.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

Adora, followed by Catra. They didn’t grow up with music.

who collects something unusual

Adora and Catra collect horde food. No pun intended.

who takes the longest to get ready

Glimmer most days, but she has to be the one to help Adora and Catra get ready for fancy events.

who is the most tidy and organised

Adora is rather Spartan as opposed to Glimmer’s fluff and Catra’s slight chaos.

who gets most excited about the holidays

Adora

who is the big spoon/little spoon

Adora is the big spoon for Glimmer, and Catra is content to curl up at the foot of the bed

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

Catra and Adora

who starts the most arguments

Catra

who suggests that they buy a pet

Glimmer finds out about service animals to help with PTSD and suggests this to her girlfriends. It takes a while to find an animal that Catra can get along with

what couple traditions they have

Adora trying to dance with both of them

what tv shows they watch together

Catra and Adora watch American Etherian Ninja Warrior; Glimmer and Adora watch a show along the lines of Pretty Cure; Catra and Glimmer watch cooking shows.

what other couple they hang out with

Bow and Perfuma, Seahawk and Mermista

how they spend time together as a couple

Training to fight the Horde and also Glimmer helping them to adust to life outside the Horde

who made the first move

Adora. Catra and Glimmer were fighting over who Adora likes more and she was like, “I love both of you equally”

who brings flowers home

Whoever was hanging out with Perfuma last time

who is the best cook

Catra. She had to sneak into the kitchens sometimes because she didn’t want Adora to get in trouble just because she was in trouble.

send me a ship and i’ll tell you

[mst3kproject]

1009: Hamlet, Prinz von Dänemark

I spent a buck-fifty Canadian to download this movie. There’s not much you can get for a buck-fifty Canadian.  One sour soother, maybe, or a chipped coffee mug from a garage sale that has a photo of somebody else’s grandparents on it.  So now you know how much Hamlet is worth.

We all know the story of Hamlet, whether we wanted to or not. King Hamlet of Denmark was murdered by his brother Claudius, who then married Queen Gertrude and stole the throne.  We can’t be having that, so the king’s ghost appears to his son, Hamlet Jr, and tells him he must take revenge.  Junior then spends the whole rest of the play wandering around pondering the afterlife and battering his girlfriend Ophelia before finally running Claudius through during a climactic duel during which pretty much everybody else dies, too, except for the ones who were already dead.  Nobody has ever given me a convincing explanation of why these people have names like Horatio and Laertes instead of Svend and Rolf.

I’m definitely not going to try to review Hamlet itself, Shakespeare’s play, because I don’t know a damned thing about Hamlet.  I deliberately went out and murdered those brain cells with alcohol immediately after writing my final exam.  Instead I’m going to have to talk about this movie in itself, how it fares both as a film and as a retelling of this story.

That second point is a big one.  Hamlet has been done, a lot, and as the bots point out with their sketch about their all-percussion version, it’s really hard to do anything unique with it anymore.  If you’re an acting troupe who wants to give it a try, that’s cool because it means people will get to see live theatre, but if you’re making a movie you really need to bring something new to the table.  An interesting interpretation, an actor or director that people really want to see, an unusual setting or time period, something like that.  This Hamlet has none of that.

I am reasonably sure that what the movie is trying to do is to look like a stage play, much as The Magic Voyage of Sinbad was trying to look like an opera.  Sinbad pulled it off with extravagant sets and operatic bombast.  By contrast everything in Hamlet, from pillars to thrones to flights of stairs, looks like it’s made out of concrete.  There is very little music, which somehow makes the whole thing feel even more doom-and-gloom-y than Hamlet already does.  The costumes go for a semi-fantasy look somewhere between Elizabethan and medieval, which is very stagey, and the effect is heightened by the fact that most of the characters never seem to change their clothes. The actors don’t look comfortable in them, though, which means they look uncomfortable in their characters as well. Queen Gertrude in particular looks like she’s too worried about damaging her gown to move easily in it, and the giant chain around Claudius’ neck is absurd.

Adding to the impression that the movie was shot in somebody’s basement, it’s lit very pootly when it’s lit at all.  A lot of shots are quite dull, lit in a way that shows where things are but doesn’t create mood or drama.  The film is in black and white and the characters wear black, or at least colours so dark you can’t tell the difference, which leaves night shots (such as the one where Horatio and the guards are chasing after the king’s ghost) looking like a bunch of heads floating around.

It is, of course, very difficult to judge a dubbed performance. The actors we’re watching appear to be going for a sort of heightened melodrama, part of the idea that we’re meant to feel like we’re watching a stage play.  The dub actors, on the other hand, don’t seem to have gotten the memo.  A lot of them mumble, particularly Maximilian Schell as Hamlet, which is really weird because he’s dubbing himself.  Sometimes they manage to make the Shakespearean English sound very natural, but that often jars with the physical performances.  I have no idea what sort of accents some of them think they’re doing. There are a few who don’t seem to be trying to do an accent at all, while others sound like they’re aiming for British (because it’s Shakespeare?), German (because the movie’s German?) or Damn Worwelf.

Most of the actors are kind of bland-looking, and those who stand out do so because they look weirdly wrong for the parts they’re playing.  Polonius with his little mustache looks like a physics teacher who feels naked because he’s not wearing a necktie.  He’s also dubbed by John Banner, so if you keep hearing this is so klandinkto! every time he speaks… that’s why.  If Hamlet himself looks familiar, it may be because Maximilian Schell was Dr. Reinhardt in The Black Hole, or maybe it’s because he looks a lot like the guy in Atlantic Rim that I referred to as MacGuyver. He’s a very fine actor who won an academy award for Judgment at Nuremburg, but he’s way out of place as Hamlet.  His Hollywood good looks and crooked little smile make it feel like he’s trying to play Hamlet as a dashing heartthrob.

For all that, there are a couple of moments in this movie that I quite like.  The scene in which Hamlet is nodding and smiling to the wedding guests while the Too Too Solid Flesh soliloquy begins in voiceover is quite nicely done.  It gives you a very visceral sense of this man who is forced to bottle up his anger and grief.  I also like that during the Murder of Gonzago scene, the camera focuses not on the players but on the audience reaction.  Claudius and Gertrude smile at each other when the players talk about love, and then grow uncomfortable as the play condemns re-marriage.  Ophelia’s embroidery is an attempt at symbolism, the arum being a popular funeral flower.  Too bad it’s so in-your-face that it loses all subtlety.

On the whole, though, Hamlet is just dull.  The spartan, ugly sets and dark costumes offer us very little to look at, and in some of the darker scenes there’s almost nothing to see at all. The physical and dub performances don’t match, and neither hold the attention.  Watching it feels like a two-hour slog through a tarry morass of depression.

I kind of wonder what the purpose of this movie was supposed to be. It was made for TV in the sixties, and I guess it was an attempt to capitalize on the Germans’ love of Shakespeare – because Germans do definitely love Shakespeare, sometimes considering themselves to have a better claim on him than England because unlike the English, they respect him.  More Shakespeare plays are performed in Germany every year than in England, and in the leadup to World War II the Nazi regime tried to get rid of him, couldn’t, and had to settle for picking and choosing which translations were ‘German enough’ for them (this always reminds me of the joke about Hamlet being better in the original Klingon).

If this is the case, I would like to know what the Germans who saw this movie in its original broadcast thought of it.  Sixty-year-old reviews of made-for-tv movies in foreign languages are hard to find even online, so I honestly have no idea.  I know that people who have seen this English version hate it, and I have a hard time imagining it being much better in German even when you love Shakespeare unconditionally.  The fact that the Germans do love Shakespeare just makes it seem that much more likely that they’d consider this dreary pork-filled version an insult to him.

It’s also interesting to think about what made the Best Brains pick this one out as an MST3K project.  The movie is definitely bad, and in its own way it fits right in with a lot of the black-and-white crap from the Joel era that tries so hard to be important and just ends up being depressing.  Yet the source material remains as something a lot of people would consider untouchable (the Germans being high on that list… although Shakespeare himself, purveyor of fine penis jokes to Her Majesty the Queen since 1591, would probably be totally okay with the MST3K treatment.  He must have heard way more vicious audience commentary).  My guess it was something they considered a challenge to themselves, in the same way as RiffTrax tackled Casablanca just to see if they could do it.  The Amazing Colossal Transplanted Sci-Fi Channel Episode Guide entry on the episode is kind of interesting, as Kevin mentions the feeling that they had to be funnier than usual in order to live up to the play’s legend.

My high school English teachers (the same ones who inflicted The Most Dangerous Game on me) insisted that Hamlet is a play which should make you think.  I’m pretty sure this is not what they meant, but the thing I’ve always found myself thinking about while watching or reading it is the idea of marrying one’s brother’s widow.  The church of the time said that this was equivalent to marrying one’s own sister (Claudius indeed calls Gertrude our sometime sister) and frowned upon it most heavily, and this would have been common knowledge in Elizabethan England because it was Henry VIII’s excuse for divorcing Catherine of Aragon and marrying Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth’s mother (never mind that he’d also fucked Anne’s sister Mary).  By portraying this as villainous behaviour, Shakespeare was sucking up to the Queen, emphasizing that her mom’s marriage was way more legit than Catherine’s.  Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[sinkingorswimming]

congrats dommi!! for a prompt: how about some more fandom au? maybe a little social media part there? i'm a sucker for modern fics ;D

I’m assuming that fandom AU=cosplay AU right? Here we go!

It’s the Friday night before school starts in Loudoun County, so Yuuri is slightly less than 72 hours from his senior year. Per the request of Senior Class President and Close Personal Pal Yuuko Nishigori, Yuuri is at the party bridge with his compatriots.

Phichit is nearby with Seung Gil and Leo chatting about something or other related to Leo being voted Cross Country Captain. Seung Gil is on the team too, since it helps him come Lacrosse season in the Spring. His whole social circle met through the Anime Club, except Yuuko and Takeshi are friends from childhood and Phichit was in Yuuri’s art class in eighth grade.

Yuuri’s also in the Fashion Club because of cosplay and sewing. It’s fun, though, he loves it a lot. He was also made Co-Costume Count with Phichit for the Drama department. (They use royal titles for everything in Troupe 3564. It’s whatever.) 

Phichit’s the Troupe President this year, to absolutely no one’s surprise. He’s wildly popular and he’s a valuable asset to the theater department.

Yuuri sips something the shade of NyQuil from a red SOLO cup, noting that it tastes like apple Jolly Ranchers. There’s talk of ritualistic diving off the bridge eventually which he thinks sounds like a Paralysis Party waiting to happen. Maybe not.

He sips more of the green thing. Maybe after a few more of these?

His phone chirps, and he unlocks it to see his Instagram has been tagged. It’s the artwork for the pair cosplay with Victor. 

v-nikiforov: Coming Valentine’s Day weekend—a special project with katuski-yuu! ;) #clamp #x1999 #fummamonou #kamuishirou #manga #cosplay

Yuuri smiles. He likes the post and comments with the sunglasses wearing smiley. Victor replies to his smiley upping the ante with a blue heart and a kissy face. 

Yuuri turns pink and gives a tiny laugh. It’s not flirting, it’s just Victor, he reminds himself, but his heart marks double-time just the same. He scrolls through Victor’s gallery, careful not to like anything older than a day or two per Phichit’s stridently enforced guidelines. There’s a new one of Makkachin that got lost in the shuffle, and Yuuri likes it.

“Yuuri! Yuuri oh my God Yuuri!” Phichit says. He looks like he might slap his phone out of his hand. 

Yuuri looks at him with an unimpressed eyebrow raise. He sips the punch. “Yeah?”

“Stop doing your antisocial phone stare and come play!” Phichit orders. Yuuri is not given the ability to say no as he’s dragged back to the crowd. Guang Hong just arrived with giant sacks of McDonald’s paid for by the Senior Class Treasury, and Yuuri manages to grab a Big Mac and the world’s largest fries. 

They all scarf the food and chat, including Yuuri. Jean-Jacques Leroy, Spartan Football QB, NHS President, Show Choir and Chamber Choir President, and as of this moment, Class Salutatorian, announces the arrivals of some kegs. His girlfriend, Field Hockey Captain, NHS Vice President, Key Club President, and Yuuri’s fun but abraisive friend in the Fashion Club, Isabella Yang, passes out more cups with a grin and a flash of her perfectly manicured maroon and gold nails.

Bella wears JJ’s letterman’s jacket when winter comes. JJ wears her class ring on a chain around his neck. 

There’s this aura at the party of nothing will ever change and we’ll always be together, but Yuuri kind of feels that’s a lie. Before he can think too much, Phichit grabs him into a selfie, Phichit looking beautiful and Yuuri looking like a sacred deer staring at the end of a hunter’s bow.

phichit+chu First party of Senior Year! Best class beast class! #gospartans #brhs #partybridge #cornfieldhigh 

He tags Yuuri’s handle too, uploading it immediately. Since it’s not quite dark, the photo’s somewhat pretty—sunset, the water as their backdrop, other kids milling about in the background. 

Phichit takes more pics, filtering them and running edits in Snapsneed. His social media, for a high schooler, is really popular for his efforts in curating it. Music begins to blast from this guy Yuuri had in AP Bio last year named Altin’s phone. 

Young hearts, out our minds,Runnin’ ‘til we outta time,Wild childs, lookin’ good,Livin’ hard just like we should!

Yuuri defies Phichit and checks IG. There’s a bunch of comments on their selfie…including one from Victor. He no idea Victor follows Phichit. 

v-nikoforov: Seems like a great party! See you at AnimeUSA! 

Yuuri gets a DM a moment later. It’s a text and emoji message from Victor. 

The sunset makes you look incredible. 

Yuuri bites his left thumb while staring at it. He’s heard of this, the whole sliding into someone’s DMs thing…but Victor is a college junior. He can’t mean that in a flirtatious way—Yuuri’s just a dime-a-dozen 12th grader who hangs with the theater kids and the Anime Club.

Thank you, he replies with shaking fingers.

You’re welcome. Wish I could see this in person! Victor responds with a wiking emoji. 

Yuuri turns the same shade as the maroon of his school.

Oh wow…what if he does?

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Scottish artist Jack Vettriano.

Born Jack Hoggan 1951 in St. Andrews, I think many of us will identify with Jack’s upbringing in the industrial seaside town of Methil, in Fife.

The family lived in a spartan miner’s cottage, sharing a bed with his brother and wearing hand-me-down clothes. From the age of 10, his father sent him out delivering papers and milk, cleaning windows and picking potatoes — any job that would earn money, he took half his earning from the youngster.

At 16, like so many in the Fife area he went into the pits, as a mining engineer, he also spent sometime as a bingo caller at the Beachcomber Amusements on Leven Promenade.

For his 21st birthday, his then girlfriend gave him a set of watercolour paints, from there he taught himself to paint. His first attempts at painting were copies of impressionist paintings such as Poppy Fields by Claude Monet. His early influences also included works displayed in the Kirkcaldy Museum and Art Gallery. He moved to Edinburgh in 1987 and adopted the last name of Vettriano, his mother’s maiden name. Jack applied to study Fine Art at the University of Edinburgh, but his portfolio was rejected.

A year later he submitted two paintings for sale to the Royal Scottish Academy. He sold both paintings, and galleries began approaching him to sell his work. Vettriano successfully exhibited his work in many cities, including Edinburgh, Hong Kong, London, and New York. Vettriano’s paintings typically sell for between £48,000 and £195,000, and his total income from royalties is £500,000 per year.

The Royal Academy rejected The Singing Butler for its 1992 summer exhibition, but it sold for £744,500 in 2004, and I say good on him, I suspect their refusal was more to do with snobbery than anything else.

Jack went on to create a series of seven paintings in 1996 that commemorated Sir Malcolm Campbell’s land-speed records at the Bonneville Salt Flats. The most expensive painting in this series was Bluebird at Bonneville, which sold for £468,000 in 2007.

It’s not all about pocketing his earnings though, Bethany Christian Trust, Maggie’s Cancer Caring Centres, Quarriers and Teenage Cancer Trust are just a few of the charities to have benefitted from the sale of some of his paintings.

Vettriano collaborated with Sir Jackie Stewart in 2008 to create Tension, Timing, Triumph – Monaco 1971, a triptych that commemorated Stewart’s overall victory of the 1971 Formula One racing season The Weight is Vettriano’s self-portrait, which has been displayed in the Scottish National Portrait Gallery since 2011.

He likes to gamble on horses, but only bets what he can afford to lose, which I think would mean every day!!!

Jack has set up the Vettriano Trust, and plans to leave his money in the trust “to do good work”

His work rarely fails at auction - he points out that a recent oil painting of his sold for £35,000, well above the estimate. Reproductions of the painting remain the best selling art print in the UK.

But while Vettriano is loved, he's also loathed.

His work has been variously described as "brainless erotica", "just colouring in" "mere wallpaper" and "crass male fantasy ". But another artist David Mach says: "If he was a fashion designer Jack would be right up there. It's all just art world snobbery." Just as I said earlier.

Now 70, he still has his demons, and still rails against the establishments which continue to shut him out. But after two postponements and nearly three years of waiting, he recently said he's delighted his exhibition in Kirkcaldy finally opened to the public earlier this year

One of my favourites by Vettriano is “Dr Connolly I Presume” –which Glasgow street artist Rogue One reproduced in a giant mural outside Hootenanny Bar at Dixon Street

You can check out more from this talented Fifer on his own web site below, and while some of his work is described as erotic, it really is very tame, naughty but nice I would say.

https://www.jackvettriano.com/

[mousathe14]

So I started watching the CW Invasion event crossover

It’s fun. Mostly. Like, part 1 and 3 are fun, part 2 is sort of “eh”? Like, I haven’t watched Arrow in a long time so there are far more upgrades than I ever expected, like apparently the cast is, just, huge now? Like they’ve get this big new base of operations and this black nerd and this angry guy and this entirely boring nondescript white guy? But angry dude dresses in sports gear and that’s just his costume?

Also apparently the black tech support nerd is, like, Mr. Terrific? I only know because of the big painted giant T on his face. It raises questions, like how the hell does he tie down his hair so fast for the costume? Like he has to have his hair done completely differently and that takes a LOT of time.

Also, I’m more used to Terrific being someone older I guess and more in command. I mean, this is the guy that replaced the Martian Manhunter for logistics on Justice LEague Unlimited so I sort of expect a certain level of maturity for a guy who has “FAIRPLAY” on the arms of his jackets.

But seriously, Mr. Terrific is on Arrow now? Who else did they throw on this show?

WHat the hell happened after Ollie got stabbed by Ra’s al Ghul?

No wait no, stop, this is getting away from me, I wanted to talk about how hilariously outclassed most of the cast are.

Because, like, There’s Ollie, a dude with a good aim, John Diggle, who is apparently called Spartan now? Anyhow, he just has guns and knows how to fight, and there’s White Canary but her training pretty much makes her superpowered anyway.

But yeah, watching the fight is weird because Supergirl just annihilates everything, Flash can’t be touched, and here’s John Diggle, getting his rear kicked constantly. I know he’s a bit of a butt monkey and the comedy of him is him being mostly seriously while simultaneously being hilariously out of his depth at all times, but there’s a difference between “Hilariously out of your depth” and “doesn’t belong here, at all.”

Like, he is outclassed by the history nerd who just accidentally got the power to turn into metal mere episodes ago and the science nerd who who has a supersuit that makes him small. He is outclassed by the guy he’s supposed to bodyguard, by the guy he’s supposed to bodyguard’s sister, by the guy he’s supposed to bodyguard’s resurrected ex-girlfriend; John Diggle has nothing but somehow looking like like the only sane man to the irritatingly serious Oliver Queen.

I just watched a bunch of a superheroes beat down aliens while Diggle struggled with one, got taken down by that one, and saved by the Atom.

It’s hilarious and really sad.

[hashtagblogfan]

Top 10 Most Exotic Underwater Hotels In The World

The post Hashtag3r.Com - Psychology , Travel , Photography , Lifestyle , Health and Beauty Top 10 Most Exotic Underwater Hotels In The World appeared first on Hashtag3r.Com.

Top 10 Most Exotic Underwater Hotels In The World

  Most hotels fly into the sky, but underwater hotels explore depths that most people usually do not see. The views are unparalleled, and a night in an underwater hotel is not likely to be the one you will soon forget. If you are looking for something cool and unique for your next prestige getaway, you might want to try sleeping with the fish – not in the sense of the movie “The Godfather”, of course. Discover now one of these top ten hotels underwater.

  Lovers Deep (Saint Lucia)

The descent into an ordinary submarine may not look like your idea of ​​a good vacation, but again, Lovers Deep is not an ordinary submarine. It’s an upscale submarine, with luxurious furnishings and a three person crew: a captain, a butler and a chef who will prepare you,to you and your guests, a romantic meal complete with champagne. The panoramic windows offer an incomparable view of the surrounding reefs, it is the ultimate romantic secluded stay. This is not for the thrifty, however, as a night at Lovers Deep costs £ 175,000, or nearly $ 250,000.

  Jules’ Undersea Lodge (Key Largo, Florida)

Named after Jules Verne, author of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea, Jules’ Undersea Lodge in the Florida Keys is the oldest underwater hotel in the world. It was a research center, so even though the romance factor may not be as high as in other places on our list,a night at the lodge is truly a memorable experience. If you want to spend the night here it’s only $ 800 per couple, but there is a trap: you must be a certified diver, because that’s how you get off at the lodge.

  The Manta Resort (Pemba Island, Zanzibar)

Located in the clear tropical waters off the coast of Africa, Manta Resort is an all-inclusive, half-submerged accommodation with underwater and above-water views. The rooms are with fish, but guests have a roof overhead to enjoy the sun, watch the waves, and admire the stars. Want you swim? Just jump in. A night at Manta starts from $ 1500

  Crescent Hydropolis (Dubai, United Arab Emirates)

  The first of Dubai’s three underwater hotels on our list, the Crescent Hydropolis is sure to be huge, with more than 200 suites. Yes, it is still under construction,but the promise and potential of this impressive structure has earned it a place among our top ten underwater hotels. Great care has been taken in the architectural design of the space so that it looks like a natural extension of the environment rather than an imposing structure on the water. An abundance of windows gives guests a virtually unobstructed view of sea life that swims just above, and the furnishings are subtle yet charming. Although the official opening date of Crescent Hydropolis has not been announced yet, we know it will be a destination to visit.

  Atlantis The Palm (Dubai,United Arab Emirates)

Another amazing place underwater in Dubai, the big attraction of Atlantis The Palm’s suites is their giant window in every room. You can relax on your comfortable bed with a cup of coffee (or a glass of something stronger) and, instead of watching TV, look like the creatures of the ocean are swimming. Rooms cost a whopping £ 5500, or $ 7800, per night, but the views are, of course, priceless.

  Apeiron Island Hotel (Dubai, United Arab Emirates)

The last place in Dubai on our list is the Apeiron Island Hotel, another destination still in the design phase but which is very promising. The architectural renderings of the building are reminiscent of a giant arum gushing out of the sparkling blue sea. While many of the hotel’s rooms will be above the surface, underwater accommodations (including a spa and a restaurant) will be at your disposal. And did we mention it’s about to be a seven-star hotel? It sounds like a dream place if we have never heard of one.

  Conrad Maldives Mongali Island (Maldives)

Just north of the equator in the Indian Ocean are the atolls of the Maldives. The water is warm and clear, making it a perfect spot for an underwater restaurant. Yes the restaurant – you can not spend the night underwater at the island of Conrad Maldives Mongali (although you can sleep in a room above the surface), but we would have overlooked our list if we do not not to mention. This seven-table restaurant sits in a 16-foot tunnel under the sea level and offers a fixed-price dinner for around $ 300. You can dine and watch the world of the ocean move around you.

  Per Aquum Huvafen Fushi (Maldives)

Per Aquum Huvafen Fushi is also in the Maldives, and while it may be fun to say, it’s even more fun to spend the night in this haven of the island. The rooms themselves are actually bungalows and lodges, some have private pools,and they are all on the water rather than below. However, an upscale spa and wine bar are located below the depths.

  Utter Inn Hotel (Vasteras, Sweden)

Scandinavia may not be the first region that comes to mind when you think of underwater hotels, but the hotel Utter Inn in Sweden has attracted guests from all over Europe. It’s spartan, that’s for sure: it looks like a little red barn floating on the surface, and the little room with two bunk beds under the surface looks more like a car lying on a train than a hotel suite. luxury. However, the window below . Marine offers a glimpse of the lake below, and there is a small terrace to relax and watch the boats go by.

  The Poseidon Submarine Complex (Fiji)

Currently under construction and taking names on the waiting list for reservations, Poseidon Underwater Resort Fiji will be a mile long when it will be finished, with 22 rooms and all the amenities of an upscale hotel. The bubble-like windows provide a view of the seabed and all the creatures that live there.

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[recentanimenews]

Seven Things That Had Better Be in the Mazinger Movie or Else

  Mazinger Z has a rich and varied history -- from manga to anime to spinoffs and team-up movies, and even regular appearances in video games. There's a lot more to the Go Nagai series than even the hardest-core of hardcore fans can keep straight.

  Which is why something like Mazinger Z/Infinity is such a huge undertaking. So far it looks like the anniversary film knows exactly what it's doing and is going to pay proper tribute to the franchise. But with a history so vast, how can we be sure it's going to hit all the right marks?

  We've taken a deep dive back into the original 92-episode anime adaptation of Mazinger Z for some of the most intense, essential, and memorable elements the series. Without these, the movie just won't be the same. Trust us. Seriously.

  Boss's Cousin Who's Some Sort of Secret Agent

Everyone remembers Misato, right? Boss's cousin who showed up late in the series to cook and clean for the lab? The one dressed like a 70s children's show host?

  Well, it's easy to forget that part. Maybe it's easier to remember her as the undercover secret agent with a helicopter license who took out some of Dr. Hell's minions with a machine gun. You know, all that awesome and useful stuff that helped the Photon Lab in the back half of the series. The person without whom they'd all probably be either dead or throwing expensive lab equipment at each other instead of stopping robot crimes.

  Still nothing? Huh. That's why we need her now more than ever.

    Professor Yumi's World-Class Problem-Solving Skills

Gennosuke Yumi isn't too happy about his daughter wading into battle against Dr. Hell alongside Koji. His solution? Give her geological survey equipment. This is exactly what Aphrodite A is: a robot who's only equipped to help at digs, and not even remotely fit to take out a Robeast. Professor Yumi even says this is why he sends Sayaka out underprotected: because he doesn't want her out there in the first place. Makes sense to us.

  Extra credit should also go to his go-to solution in a crisis: offering to kill himself. It seems that even in situations where his life isn't on the line, he's ready to go down with the ship.

  Seeing as in Mazinger Z/Infinity he is now Prime Minster, we're hoping that his conflict resolution skills are as sharp as ever.

    The Evil Santa Robot

Doublas and Garada may get constant top billing, but let's not forget one of the show's true scares: Satan Claus P10, who appeared in episode 56 of the original series. This merry Mechanical Beast rolled out in a rocket-powered sleigh, attacking with a giant missile-launching whip.

  The worst part? Satan Claus wasn't even the main baddie of his own episode. He was just a distraction sent out to keep our heroes occupied while the "real" monster of the episode went and stole a block of Chogokin Z. A thankless job for a monster that deserves another crack at fame.

    The Chill Pacifist Robeast Who Just Wants a Nap

Speaking of robots who don't get their due, episode 14's Spartan K5 seems to have disappeared into the mists of time. Rather than wreaking havoc like the other Mechanical Beasts, he just found a comfy hillside and took a nap.

  Spartan became a favorite friend of Koji and the local kids, serving as a chill buddy and impromptu playground equipment. Sadly, his warrior's spirit was awakened by the sound of cheering (from a baseball game on the radio) and drums (a set of bongos), and he went to town on our heroes. He's yet to get a chance to finish his snooze -- you know what to do, Infinity.

The Villain That's One Racial Stereotype Stacked on Top of Another Racial Stereotype

... actually, never mind. Stick with his look in Mazinger Edition Z if you're bringing him back.

    Shiro's Crush on the Middle of a Robot

We know that Shiro Kabuto will be returning (albeit all grown up) in Infinity, but what about his one-time childhood girlfriend?

  In the manga and both of its anime adaptations, Shiro develops a frienship with Lorelai Heinrich, the daughter of a scientist. What he doesn't know is that -- in true Go Nagai style -- the scientist's daughter is actually a robot. More specifically, she's the central component of his Mechanical Beast (named Danube or Rhine, depending on the source material).

  Despite Lorelai's feelings for Shiro, she becomes aware that fusing with the rest of the Mechanial Beast will enable her to fulfill her true purpose and honor her father's memory. She is defeated in every version of the story presented so far, but... you know. Habeas corpus. Plus Lorelai is Kind Of A Big Deal, and Shiro is getting to that age.

    Baron Ashura's Flawless Disguises

No matter how progressive and open-minded society is, it's hard to navigate the world when you're literally half a dead man and half a dead woman stuck together and reanimated. But that doesn't stop Baron Ashura. Their knack for disguises allows them to slip effortlessly into the crowd and not weird out anyone at all. Just look at this A+ piece of work. We'd never know.

  Sadly, other iterations of the story have lacked this highly important element of their work. It's about time we see Dr. Hell's right-hand henchperson demonstrating their skills once Infinity rolls around.

    Will Mazinger Z/Infinity deliver? We'll know when it opens in Japanese theaters this January. We've got a good feeling about the Santa robot, though.

  >> Official Mazinger Z Website

>> Watch Mazinger Edition Z on Crunchyroll

-----

  Kara Dennison is responsible for multiple webcomics, blogs and runs interviews for (Re)Generation Who and PotterVerse, and is half the creative team behind the OEL light novel series Owl's Flower. She blogs at karadennison.com and tweets @RubyCosmos. She also served as lead editor for Discotek's releases of both Mazinger Z and Mazinger Edition Z.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[itsjaybullme]

10 Cheap and Easy Halloween Costumes for Jacked Guys

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It's Costume Time

Silver Screen Collection / Nancy Moran / Sunset Boulevard / Getty

The time has finally come: the week when you realize that Halloween weekend is upon us, but you've been too busy making gains in the gym to even think about putting effort into a costume. Maybe you've had a few fleeting thoughts—if that—about how you're going to dress up, and maybe your girlfriend has spent the month begging you to dress as the companion to whatever elaborate costume she'll be donning when you inevitably end up at a Halloween gathering.

But you probably didn't listen to your own thoughts or hers, and now it's crunch time and the best costumes are probably long sold out. Besides, if you waited this long to find a costume, we're willing to bet you're not about to splurge on that $600 theatrical-quality Darth Vader getup.

If you're starting to get nervous we'll stop you right there, because all that time in the gym is about to swoop in and save your Halloweekend.

Some of the most badass characters in Hollywood history are just jacked guys wearing reasonably normal clothing and minimal outlandish accessories. You may not literally have the physique that Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dolph Lundgren sported back in the '80s, but you can pull off their characters like no couch potato ever could. That's why we've compiled some of our favorite costume options that you can scrape together with minimal cash, and still look decent enough to be recognizable.

It may be too late for theatrical, but at least you'll have a costume. Because even if you're not the type of guy to roll up to the party dressed as a terrifyingly realistic movie monster, you've got to admit it's fun to get into the spirit. Plus, you don't want to be the only asshole at the bar who showed up as the murderer of all things fun and spooky (yourself sans costume).

(And if you need that emergency shred? We've got the workout for you.)

Click through for some of the cheapest, easiest options for your last-minute Halloween costume.

2 of 11

1. John Matrix/Commando

Sunset Boulevard / Getty

Arnold Schwazenegger has been in plenty of movies, from thrilling action flicks like Terminator and Predator to comedies like Twins and Jingle All the Way. But one of Schwarzenegger's most badass roles was undeniably John Matrix, a former Special Forces colonel out to take down a former dictator to save his daughter. Who could forget the moment when a deadpan Matrix "let Sully go"?

The most important aspect of this costume is also the cheapest: some black body paint for you face and torso. 

Assuming you have:

Pants (preferably camo/cargo pants or khakis—but jeans work, too)

Boots 

Impressive biceps and a generally ripped upper body

A passable Arnold impersonation 

You'll need:

Black body paint (to stripe across your face and body, $5 at Party City) 

Bullet belt (optional, $10 at Party City)

Fake weapon that's very clearly not real (anything from a hunting knife to a rifle could work)

3 of 11

2. The Incredible Hulk

NBC / Silver Screen Collection / Getty

In his Incredible Hulk days, Lou Ferrigno's physique was nothing short of incredible. After all, he played our favorite green maniac in the late-'70s-early-'80s series, long before CGI could take Dr. Banner from man to monster. So if you've got the physique for it, this one's as easy as can be, although it could get a little messy if you don't get a little help. 

Assuming you have:

Jeans

A flannel (optional)

A hulking physique

You'll need:

Green body paint (maybe two tubes) ($5 each at Party City)

If you really want to go all out, green hairspray ($4 at Party City)

Giant, hilariously fluffy wig (optional)

4 of 11

3. The Old Spice Guy

Old Spice / Youtube

While Terry Crews may have been the most jacked face of Old Spice ever, Isaiah Mustafa's embodiment is a hilarious throwback that's insanely easy to replicate:

You may not have all (or any) of the skills he boasts in the commercial, but you don't need those. All you do need is a towel, some shorts, and Old Spice to make this one work. Bonus: You'll smell great, no matter where the night takes you.

Assuming you have:

A white towel (clean, please)

Khaki shorts to wear underneath

The chops to impersonate his TV-ready voice

You'll need:

Any Old Spice product, as cheap or expensive as you please (and, hey, you may already have that, too)

Works best at: beach parties.

5 of 11

4. Rambo

Nancy Moran / Getty

John Rambo is one of those action-movie badasses who seems to transcend time. Even those who have never seen the movie have a very clear idea of the gist of it. Sly Stallone's depiction of a gritty, troubled Vietnam veteran evading law enforcement launched the original film, First Blood, into a franchise. If your friends can't guess this costume at first sight, that's their problem. This one's also super-customizable, since Stallone appeared both in a black, raw-cut muscle tank and shirtless. The important parts? The bandana, the bullet belt, and the absurdly chiseled upper body and/or jawline.

Assuming you have: 

A worn-out, black, clearly DIYed tank top (or a t-shirt you can cut into one)

Jeans 

Ripped shoulders 

You'll need:

Red bandana ($3 at Party City—or, if you cut your own tank top, save some of the fabric and just use that for free)

Fake weapon that's very clearly not real (a hunting knife to a bow and arrow, to a rife could work)

Bullet belt (optional, $10 at Party City)

Some of that $5 body paint (or dirt, if you really want to go cheap) to give the effect of roughing it in the woods

6 of 11

5. Richard Simmons

Evan Hurd Photography / Getty

This one is admittedly not badass, but it's hilarious and directly related to fitness. Richard Simmons shot to fame for his weight-loss programs back in the day, and he's still at it now. His signature brightly colored tank tops and short-shorts are easy enough to replicate, as long as you never skip legs day. 

Assuming you have:

A workout tank top (preferably a bright one, and preferably one with sparkles)

Quads that you're dying to show off

White sneakers

White crew socks

You'll need:

Short-shorts (whether they're your girlfriend's or something cheap from Amazon Prime)

Huge wig (optional, but adds to the effect; $20 at Party City)

Probably some energy drinks. It's a long night, and you will be expected to embody Richard Simmons.

7 of 11

6. He-Man

Archive Photos / Getty

Dolph Lundgren, another Hollywood badass who's still keeping up with his fitness today, played He-Man in 1987's Masters of the Universe. We can only imagine all the physique goals that were born that year. Just a little more serious and intimidating than the cartoon version of this comic-book hero, Lundgren's He-Man is ripped out of his mind. If you are, too, show off those quads and that six-pack with this costume. This may be a bare-minimum He-Man, but we don't have time for elaborate equipment, and that's not our fault. Besides, the abs are more impressive anyway. (If you have a set of old football pads lying around that no one's gonna miss, you can easily cut out the shoulders, spray-paint them gold, and tie them together to complete the look. Remember: It's optional, but you have the power.)

Assuming you have: 

An impressive chest and quads

A neutral-colored Speedo, bodybuilding suit, or even some dark-colored briefs (yup, we're really going for it)

A few belts to layer over each other

You'll need:

Blonde wig (will probably run you about $20, but completes the costume)

Fake sword (also important, but only $7 at Party City)

Spartan shin guards ($15 on Amazon)

8 of 11

7. Lumberjack/The Brawny Man

Blake Little / Getty

More like lumber-jacked, right? This one may actually be the easiest costume ever, and you probably have everything you need already. And this is customizable, because if you don't want to get a fake chainsaw or ax, you can just carry a roll of paper towels around with you (which, given most of the Halloween parties we've been to, may not be a bad idea). Boom: You're instantly the Brawny Man instead of a plain ol' lumberjack. 

Assuming you have:

Jeans

A flannel

A knit beanie

Gargantuan lumberjack-esque arms 

You'll need:

Fake ax for lumberjack ($4 at Party City). If you're into scary costumes, a fake bloody chainsaw (like this $17 option from Party City) transforms you into a murderous lumberjack.

Paper towels for Brawny Man (free from your kitchen, probably)

9 of 11

8. John McClane from Die Hard

Archive Photos / Getty

Die Hard may just be one of the best Christmas movies of all time (because it's totally a Christmas movie in our book, despite the absence of the Grinch or much holiday cheer). In the original, Bruce Willis takes on a slew of bad guys as NYPD cop John McClane, who has to take matters into his own hands to save his wife, one of their hostages. This is another one that you've probably got most of the supplies for. Yippee ki-yay, motherf*cker!

Assuming you have: 

A white tank top you're willing to rub dirt on

A button-down (ideally one you're also willing to rub dirt on)

A formidable five o'clock shadow

Jeans or khakis

A built chest

You'll need:

If you don't want to rub dirt on your face and shirt, some $5 body paint

Some of your girlfriend's lipliner and a butterfly closures for a fake head wound (about $5 from any drug store)

Fake police badge ($4 at Party City)

10 of 11

9. Tarzan

Mondadori Portfolio / Frank Trapper / Getty / M&F

There have been countless depictions of this jungle hero, but our personal favorite might be former M&F cover starAlexander Skarsgard's. His physique is impressive, and his costume may be the easiest (and most full-coverage, for any of you legs-day skippers).

Assuming you have:

Khakis you are prepared to sacrifice

Shredded abs and a poundable chest

You'll need:

Some $5 body paint to act as fake dirt

A wig (optional—your own messy hair will work just fine)

A loincloth (if you want to really go for it, $25 at Walmart)

11 of 11

10. Zeus

Ullstein Bild / Getty

Since Zeus is literally a Greek god, you've got to have the physique to back this one up. If not, you can just tell people you're masquerading as a frat boy at a toga party. This one's pretty straightforward, and can really be tailored to any Greek or Roman deity of your choice, depending on your accessories. Take Poseidon/Neptune, for example: Add a trident, and you're suddenly the king of the ocean. The most important accessories, if the statue we're referencing is any indication, are some killer obliques.

Assuming you have:

A white bedsheet

Flip-flops

Washboard abs

You'll need:

A gray or white fake beard ($5 at Party City)

A trident for Neptune ($5 at Party City)

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