#but from what I have seen these two are actively refusing to leave the desert

[anachronistic-falsehood]

Vash and Femininity: Trigun Stampede and its Themes of Bodily Autonomy, Exploitation, and Vague Gender Fuckery

alright sit the fuck down. we're gonna talk about THEMES

I was on Twitter- terrible idea usually, but a couple people I follow made some tweets that got me thinking about Trigun's overall themes, and here we are. So let's talk about some themes in Tristamp! And I'll take a couple looks at Trimax as well, just for fun :3

Let's look at how the showrunners utilize gender roles and exploitation of feminine characters to show how unhealthy Knives' obsession with his ideal of Vash is, and how horrific his exploitation of Vash and the Plants is.

Vash, from the beginning of Tristamp, is someone who cares about people's choices. When people kill others in front of him, he reiterates that whether someone lives or dies is not another person's choice to make. This is something he learned from Rem (a prominent female figure in his life). He refuses to kill people because that is not his choice to make. To kill someone is the ultimate removal of their bodily autonomy. They can no longer make any choices at all; they're dead.

Vash is also someone who has almost no choice in what path his life takes. He's constantly dragged around by outside forces, namely situations that are caused by Knives (which we'll get into later). Vash doesn't make things happen, things happen to Vash. The majority of events that occur are not his fault. He's pushed and pulled in a thousand different directions. His entire life is completely out of his control.

This can be seen as early on in his life as the Fall, something he had no control over and had no idea he even had a part in. Even later, in the ship with Luida and Brad, after he's been rescued from the desert, he's kept in handcuffs right up until he's shown to be of use to them and the Plant on their ship. After that, he could theoretically say "no, I don't want to go to other ships and heal their plants," but he doesn't. He's Vash. He's helpful and nurturing at his core, and these people have done so much for him just by letting him stay, so he'll do whatever they ask, no question.

This carries over into his adulthood. At Jeneora Rock, he goes to look at their Plant at one simple request, doesn't protest when he's dragged into a duel-- he doesn't take initiative unless someone's life is immediately at stake. He lets people tell him what to do and lets himself get dragged around by the wrist. He doesn't even pretend to have control over his life like Trimax Vash does, which I mean. Fair. Why pretend to have a grip on your existence when it's impossible to do anything without a gun pointed at your head?

Vash is a very passive character. He's nurturing, kind, gentle- he's a guy that fits a lot of very typical feminine character stereotypes. If you wrote this same story but made him a woman, I wouldn't bat an eye (but I would definitely be looking at it a lot more critically, what with the amount of stereotypically nurturing/motherly female characters in media already.)

This contrasts directly with Knives. He makes a decision and carries through no matter what stands in his way. He takes initiative. If Vash is a passive character, Knives is an active character. Wherever he goes, he leaves a lasting imprint. He makes shit happen! If outside forces make things happen to him, he'll go out of his way to make sure that particular force doesn't affect him again.

These two tweets I saw are what got me thinking about this originally. I just feel like here's a good place to put them as a segue into talking about episode 11.

Episode 11 is where a lot of this feminine imagery really just. Explodes in your face. IT'S RIGHT THERE. You can't dance around it if you try. And it kind of reaches a peak when the connection reaches 100%, the gate opens, and. well. THIS happens to the Plants.

Plants, in both Trimax and Tristamp, are almost always typically feminine-looking. Knives and Vash are the only two who are male or even masculine at all. Knives, as the most masculine out of all of them, is the one trying to take charge, and mould the world as he sees fit, to a degree that is detrimental to both him and everyone else. And Vash-- passive, feminine, kind and nurturing, whose Angel Arm in the manga always sprouts decidedly feminine-looking Plant parts-- is the one being exploited for Knives' plans. It's no mistake that they made the giant plant formation at the end of ep 11 look like a giant woman that almost resembles Rem.

Vash wants people to make their own choices and keep their autonomy when it comes to their bodies and lives. Knives is the exact opposite. He wants all Plants to become independent and he uses Vash to achieve that goal, without asking what Vash wants or even knowing what the Plants themselves would prefer. He exploits Vash for the soul purpose of trying to make these Plants have Independent Plant babies. He's completely incapable of seeing that his choices are not for the greater good! He thinks he's saving them, but none of his actions are for the good of anyone but himself. He’s just violating them for his own gain.

They're really leaning into gender roles for these guys, but in a way that screams "HEY, LOOK AT THIS! ISN'T IT FUCKED UP? LOOK AT HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. LOOK AT THIS, AND BE UNCOMFORTABLE, AND KNOW THAT IT IS FUCKED UP."

Because it is! It's so extremely fucked up. They're using this imagery and these roles, something that makes most of us intrinsically uncomfortable, to drive home how unhealthy Knives relationship with his ideal of Vash is. That's the point. We're supposed to be uncomfortable with this.

Now of course there's some nuance to it. Like, you could see Knives as somewhat of a feminine and/or queer-coded figure as well, ESPECIALLY if you look at some of his panels in the manga, which could in turn lead to themes about infighting and control within marginalized communities, but that might be something for another post. :3

And there's definitely different ways you could take this! Vash, with all this feminine imagery, could be either transfem or transmasc coded, depending on what way you'd rather see it, which could lead into themes of how people outside the norm constantly face a lack of bodily autonomy and are exploited for purposes outside their boundaries. We could also look at Wolfwood and his lack of choice over joining the Eye of Michael and becoming the Punisher, and how masculine men (particularly men of colour) are often forced into violent roles against their will. If we look at Trimax, the exact same could be said for Livio/Razlo and people with disorders such as DID/OSDD.

There are many different ways you could spin these themes, some of which I don't feel personally qualified to discuss. If anyone who is qualified to talk about Wolfwood or Livio/Razlo or even other characters related to these themes, then god PLEASE add onto this post or make a post and tag me or something. I would love to read it!

Anyway, in conclusion: Vash is a feminine figure constantly taken advantage of and exploited and and he's so incredibly trans/nonbinary-coded that it drives me insane. Thank you

[femboyclownpierce]

assigning my favorite guys crane wives songs

aka, in honor of the crane wives being my #1 artist on spotify this year, have some insanity. this list is loosely based on the life series, but each song aims to encapsulate a character as entirely as possible w/o focusing too hard on any specific event. i'll also say that i actively tried to choose songs that i haven't seen us as a community talk about that much.

Etho - Volta volta is a song about making the conscious decision to be present in your life, taking back control. etho is someone who constantly jumps from thing to thing, never really staying put, and i personally interpret volta as not just consciously taking back control of your life, but also making the decision to settle into something. it is about fighting your nature of running away and choosing to stay. i will admit that this song is about vibes more than lyrical content. still, have some lyrics

"Do you remember being young and eager? My heart was buzzing like a wire Give me a reason to connect, be nearer"

Bdubs - Little Soldiers ON THE BROKEN BACKS OF ALL THE WORDS WE SPARED, LIKE LITTLE SOLDIERS IN THE TRENCHES. IT WAS A MARCH WE MADE TOWARDS RUIN AND DESPAIR BUT WE HELD HANDS ALL THE WHILE. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU---I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!!

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT DOES NOT FUCKING SCREAM BDUBS. HE LOVES ME. I FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL BEFORE THE FLAG HAD FLOWN BUT YOU WERE ALREADY GONE!!!!!!

sorry little soldiers is one of my favorite crane wives songs. two people tied together with barbed wire, knowing that what they're in isn't good but refusing to let go out of a desperate attempt to cling onto love. tell me that isnt ethubs, especially the way we as a fandom dramatize them.

Cleo - High Horse high horse is a song about being a petty, spiteful motherfucker. it is about looking at someone you hold dear who has hurt you, and saying, "you know what? i won't stand for this" and throwing them under the bus.

"I'm done thinking about it You're never gonna get what you want So why feel guilty about it?"

Grian - How to Rest listen. look me in the eyes. i know we all like to pretend, especially in regards to scarian and the desert and double life, that grian did not/does not love scar. that the love, that the friendship, that the real connection they shared was not there because it makes for some juicy angst. look me in the eyes and tell me that grian being outright cruel towards scar is somehow more interesting than grian pretending he does not love scar, when in reality he does. tell me that blatant angst for angst's sake is more interesting than grian looking out for scar, not because of an obligation, but because scar is his friend and his ally and maybe sometimes people just chose to be around each other.

"Here's the truest thing I've ever known The heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss"

Joel - The Wolf oh joel wants SO BAD to be a threat. he wants so badly for people to fear him, to take him seriously, to be the bad guy. however, his attempts at this often fall short, usually due to his own brazen overconfidence and snappy, petty nature. all of this, of course, pushes anyone who he hasn't latched onto away because who would want to align themselves with someone who wants so badly to be a loose canon?

"Can it be Can it be easy for once Cause I’m no good at being kind to myself Or anyone [...] I am a beast at your back You better run for your life"

Jimmy - New Colors i am by no means a jimmy expert, but this song is just so jimmy to me. he is so desperate to do well. new colors is a song about desperation. he is so desperate to be taken seriously, in a similar way to joel, but the difference is nobody ever does. i'm just going to leave you with these lyrics.

"Don't tell me that I can't Oh Lord, don't tell me that I can't I need this so damn bad"

"I give up my sight To see I give up my air To breathe"

Scar - Down The River i'm gonna admit, i really struggled to find one for scar, but i think this one works. scar doesn't put much stock into past grievances if it isn't convenient for him, he will simply move on and pretend he didn't do anything. this is ESPECIALLY relevant in moving between series---all bridges are burned, and must be rebuilt.

"Now, tell me, when you start again Where will you house your skeletons? Or will they stay behind Your settlement in kind?"

this post is getting kind of long, and im gonna admit im not confident enough in my characterization of the rest of the cast to assign them a song, so i'll leave this here for now :)

[autobot2001]

Rare Pairing Fest 8; Crisp Fall Air / Summer's Last Heat

Pairing: Bayverse Crosshairs and Drift Description: a hot summer day is a good day for the pool and a pool party with friends. Fall is a good time for a walk together in the woods and fun in a giant pile of leaves.

Since the Autobots were hiding in the desert, they're used to the heat. Except for today. A streaming 110°. "What an uncomfortable way to end summer," Hound sulks, "even with our holoforms." Bumblebee and Hound join the humans in the pool. Crosshairs has no interest in the pool and hides in the barn. Drift is concerned about Crosshairs being alone even though it's cool in the barn.

"You don't have to stay here," Crosshairs says. "I told you, I don't want you to be alone. I could force you to go swimming." "Later, when they're done," Drift looks at Crosshairs in disgust, "well, if you want to go skinny dipping, then we have to wait until everyone is in bed," Crosshairs smirks. "How many Earth movies have you watched?" "Fine, we'll wait until the others are done in the pool."

The two wait an hour for everyone to be done swimming and go inside. Both wonder how long their swim will last. "Ugh, I think I feel why they didn't stay in the pool long,* Crosshairs complains before activating his holoform. He is more disgusted feeling the heat while using his holoform. Drift expects Crosshairs to retreat back to the barn or into the house. Even Drift doesn't like how the heat feels. Thinking of how the team has yet to experience heat. Even the days when the temperatures were in the 90s were new to them. The two get into the pool. The water feels nice as they escape from the heat. Rather than relaxing, Crosshairs decides to swim laps while Drift watches, sitting on the steps, chest-deep in the water.

Crosshairs swims laps for ten minutes before sitting on the steps with Drift. "This is nice," Crosshairs comments, "and in a few weeks, we can check out the hot tub." Drift smiles, seeing Crosshairs interested in some Earth things. Though he's a little concerned about Crosshairs' choice of Earth movies. The two enjoy the pool for another hour, eventually using the pool floats until the others come back out. This quickly turns into a pool party. Cade fires up the grill to cook cheeseburgers and hot dogs. He also brings out a small cooler full of beer. Something else the Autobots have yet to try. Everyone jokes about how Bee is too young for Earth alcohol.

The pool party lasts three hours before everyone, but Crosshairs and Drift go inside for the night. The sun is about to set. The two deactivate their holoforms and head to the field.

They sit on the ground. Crosshairs stares at Drift, smiling. "What are you thinking about?" Crosshairs asks. "Seeing you trying Earth things, adapting to our situation. I don't think it's just because we were targets that had you refusing. You'd be the same stubborn aft if we were working with the humans. "Hard to think about what we thought would have been our life on Earth, but it's not all bad. At least you're with me." Crosshairs pulls Drift down to lie next to him. The two stay there until the only light is the full moon.

The Autobots are used to the cooler temperatures and crisp fall air, but only Bumblebee has seen the fall leaves. Drift drags Crosshairs into going for a walk in the woods. "How is this relaxing?" Crosshairs asks. "Look at the beautiful colors." Crosshairs sighs, still not enjoying seeing the leaves change colors and fall to the ground.

Meanwhile, at the Yeager property, Cade and Hound clean up the leaves around the yard. Bumblebee convinced them to make a leaf pile big enough for the bots. This takes a little time and gathering leaves from the woods.

Crosshairs thought the two would walk down the trail in the woods and back to the property, but Drift convinced him to sit by a tree. Even in bipedal form, Crosshairs does find this relaxing as he leans on Drift's chassis. "You see why it's relaxing?" Drift asks. "You didn't say anything about relaxing in the woods. I thought you meant just going for a walk." "Well, being with you is relaxing, so yes, a walk in the woods is relaxing." Crosshairs smiles and pulls Drift's helm closer to him to kiss Drift.

The two ended up in recharge for a few hours. Which they know was a big mistake even if they're in the portion of the woods that's part of the Yeager property. They know not all humans obey to 'do not enter' signs. "I'm surprised Hound hasn't tried to contact us," Drift comments, "come on, before he does start questioning where we are."

The two return to the house, staring at a giant pile of leaves. "Ok, I read humans would rake the leaves, but I didn't think they'd make a pile this size," Drift comments. "You're welcome," Cade says, "Bumblebee's idea. Some humans like to jump into the pile and throw leaves around. I don't get the fun when the leaves have to be re-raked." Drift thought this was something Crosshairs would only be interested in doing once he was shoved into the leaf pile as Cade walked away. "This is fun," Crosshairs smiles as he tries to bury Drift under the leaves. Drift sighs, not liking this idea of fun in the leaves, but he's happy Crosshairs is having fun. He stares at the green mech's smile. Distracted that Crosshairs sneaks a kiss. "Something else on your mind?" Crosshairs asks. "Just you," Drift smiles. Crosshairs rests his helm on Drift's chassis. "I love you, samurai." "I love you too, Crosshairs."

[sundarika]

headcanon in two parts, sorry. Ask does not miss it. 1.1 Oh, you know the insecticons from the tfp? Can I have a headcanon where a S/O person is on friendly terms with insecticons?

[TF PRIME] S/O Is Friends With The Insecticons

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* [S/O] meets them by accident quite a bit before the events of the Energon Eaters. Arachnid is still “leader” of the Insecticons by technicality as the only available ‘Queen’ for the hive-mind, however she never really patrols the area or takes care of the hive as she should, rather choosing to wander as a free mind, disobeying orders from everybody.

* You had stumbled upon the hive while taking a short walk along the side of the Jasper highway, leading out of town and to an old coal mine you liked to inhabit on your days off work. A home-away-from-home of sorts, it brought you peace of mind to have a quiet place.

* At least you thought it was a quiet, desolate area until you broke through a thinning in the rock floor of the entry shaft and ended up crashing an Insecticon tea-party.

*It was a rather awkward fall, and it had injured your hip joint on the way down, leaving you temporarily paralyzed in throbbing pains and nerve damage.

* The giant bug-like robots and their shiny, metal wingspans immediately armed themselves and aimed at the shifting dust and rockfall, growling and chittering in a language of some sort, unknown to you.

* “Is it one of those ugly-faced Decepticons ploys again?”

* “It’s too small and squishy, much sooner to be a predacons’ chew toy than any weapon.”

* You looked super confused, absolutely stupefied, completely duped, utterly incomprehensible, awkwardly awed, amazingly idiotic, a-

* Their manner of speech and vocal patterns was practically lost on you. You could pick up remnants of a language similar to broken [language], but really nothing else. In an attempt to make contact with the metallic giants to gain help, you enabled your parroting capabilities.

* Humans have the stunning ability to mimic sounds and specific noise frequencies, at levels other earthen animals, especially mammals, cannot. Using this ability, you managed to copycat the grinding and chattering noises coming from the vocal mass of bug-bots.

* [S/O]: “¿Krrt-grrut vvurrr chechch?”

* Hardshell: “¿Buzzzz vert-tet-brrrz, Erreech?”

* [S/O]: “¿Erreech?”

* Hardshell: “¡VRREE BUZZZ-EECH CLICKLICKIK!”

* The contact went well, unbeknownst to you, and the successful communication meant that you might actually have a chance at escape, or finding a hospital!

* Congrats! You are now [Tiny Bug Child]! You have no idea what they were speaking about, unaware that they were contemplating how to execute you, but you successfully managed to evade death by being cute and cuddly! People say curiosity killed the cat, but it evidently saves the naive human-who-fell-into-an-insect-cult-meeting!

* Hardshell, the Insecticon you nearly landed on top of, begins to lift you out of the rubble, and place you down upon a makeshift stone table, partially destroyed by the collapse. The others—including Wingflap, Bombshell, Shrapnel, Blockhead, and Kickback—gather closely around you, cooing and chirping in their weird language again.

* This was, evidently, how you became the new Queen of the hive, though you didn’t know it, and managed to befriend your way through the entire enclosed community and worm into the spark of every Insecticon, though they were very few in number.

* You made easy friends with Bombshell, and remained close with him up until his untimely death by Bulkheads hammer fist. He would often lay atop the Jasper cliffside with you, and make out shapes in the clouds, constellations in the stars—regaling to you tales of the Old Cybertron, when his own kind weren’t so despised, and were respected as viable assets and allies amongst those with forms like and unlike their own—until the Autobot Elitists ensured they were seen as ugly and malformed, made to hide away in the shadows and step away from society for ‘the greater good’.

* It’s how you came to hate the Autobots—and Decepticons—for all they had done, to their planet and yours, and to your friends as well.

* Your mimicry slowly turned into actual speech patterns and recognition. Repetitive sound signals were a key portion of Archaic Insecticon speech, which made it easy to recognize simple words or phrases, each indicated by a set of whirs, clicks, or beeps.

* Now that you could actively communicate with most of the hive, it was far easier to make friends with even the hardiest of bots.

* Hardshell, of course, was tough to crack. At your constant insistance, he spoke with you once or twice, and made sure to acknowledge your presence when in the room, as well as save you a seat at the underground pub every other weekend. It wasn’t actually a pub per-say, rather a dugout chamber with smooth walls and some stone slabs insert for seating, where the cons enjoyed engex they could sneak off the Nemesis from time-to-time.

* After awhile, he warms up to you, welcoming you back to the hive every day after work, standing alongside his multiple siblings, and pushing others aside to get to hold you first.

* Meanwhile this all happens, they still don’t know what a human is. Their simple understanding of earth comes only from what they’ve seen on the highway from the cliffside, or from video footage of the Autobot pests on the Nemesis. Due to their bulky size and noisiness, they’re banned from most human-inhabited areas.

* Don’t doubt that some of them have attempted to follow their [S/O] home. They have. And some of them won’t stop trying. It’s been more than one awkward encounter between you and some teens to get them to realize they could get you in trouble.

* You all eat [dessert] together sometimes, made with energon supplements for ‘The Boys™️’, with some good ol’ 25-something-kg of sugar mixed in.

* The boys were worried when you didn’t show up for a week due to hospitalization via severe food poisoning medical coma.

* When Arachnid finally returned to Earth, and her fight against Arcee had proceeded about as well as expected, she located the hive and proceeded to force them to engage in business with Megatron. She believed that by implementing her own soldiers amongst the ranks, she’d be better equipped to backstab Megatron when the time came.

* She was undoubtably surprised when Hardshell and some others adamantly refused to take part in her plans at first, until she enforced their compliance through the hive-mind.

*When she learned of your existence, and the very gauge of your importance to her former hive, she came at you with full force.

*The Insecticons were fully unprepared to deal with a fight between their small [S/O] and an extremely angry ex-Queen. In refute, they returned you to the surface without so much as a goodbye, and begged you to escape before Arachnid scented you out.

* It was soon after these events that you learned of Breakdown’s death, Bulkhead’s coma, and Bombshell’s demise due to the combined effects of a substance called Tox-En and injuries sustained during his battle with Bulkhead. It broke you inside to learn there was nothing you could have done to help, but you refused to disobey their pleas to stay away for awhile.

* At the hive, Arachnid rules supreme. Being able to control the hive-mind was a feat a human was incapable of achieving, only Cybertronians able to easily access the imbedded chain of command.

* Hardshell mourned the loss of a true friend—a small, squishy human—but a friend nonetheless.

* Wingflap and Kickback went through a collection of memories you’d left behind with them. Pictures and small objects gifted over the years, a small treasure trove of important parts of their lives, now without you in them.

* Shrapnel stims a lot more now, and has nervous tics that he believes are the result of the loss of his dear friend. He knows you aren’t dead, least not yet, but he knows that you’ll likely never come back.

* Blockhead, as dumb as everybody thinks he is, is actually very emotionally intelligent. He has a way with words he barely understands, and [S/O] acted as a big support for someone like him. Without them now, he can no longer function like normal, and now has nobody left to talk to.

* Arachnid could care less. She absolutely despises [S/O], and would smite them for all she cares. You matter little to her, and only worry her for the loyalty and capacity of her troops.

* It isn’t until the Energon Eaters appear that everything turns completely south.

* [S/O] finally builds up enough courage to march themselves back down to the mine, and demand to meet Arachnid face-to-faceplate.

* The desert is hot, Nevada is hotter, and the trek down the highway seems endless and tedious. You pass by 5 interstate signs on your way to the hive, and count the steps it takes to reach the entrance, parched by the time you make it there.

* In all your sweaty glory, you, [S/O], make your way down the carved pathway into the mineshaft, dark and cramped—just as you left it.

* But everything is exactly as it was left, not an item out of place. The entire hive was empty, including of those you cared about. Their rooms are full of memories, and their energon cubes still lie in a corner, collecting dust and grime.

* The search seems profitable, yet it leaves you with nothing, and the emptiness of the hive echoes around you, and in all the chambers, through the cavern walls of every room.

* You know they’re gone, that they have left without you, and without so much as a simple passing note.

* Perhaps someday you’d find them, hiding away in another Jasper mine, but you never would.

* In their haze of a hive mind, they barely even remember the face of the human they left behind. A long line across the moon—stretching on for miles—and a vampire on a false throne, draining the lifeblood from their veins, and the image of [S/O] from their minds.

———————————————————————

✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

[nibeul]

What always really confused me about the Clones status as war slaves is that it never seems to upset Anakin, a former slave. Like, in "The Hidden Enemy" Anakin gets an expression when Slick points out he and his brothers are all slaves that seems to indicate he realizes this and that it makes him uncomfortable... and then it's never brought up again as far as I remember. Like, they really could have used the status of the clones as slaves, as well as the Jedi's complacency to the slave trade on Tatooine as reasons to his fall, but neither are ever really brought up. Also, is it ever established what happened to the clones in general after Order 66? I know they were used as the first generation of Storm Troopers but what happened after they were retired? There were thousands of them, where did they go?

oh I've thought about this so many times and it never fails to bug me. my guess is it comes from the fact that Lucas literally did not think about the implications of the Clone Army when creating them in ROTS, but it's still an issue and one that... doesn't really have an explanation. Not to mention, the Jedi as a whole were supposed to be super anti-slavery (which we know they weren't since they let prominent groups like the Hutts get away with it/were willing to compromise with said groups and also, ya know, Qui Gon literally telling an enslaved Anakin that they weren't gonna save him or his mom...), so even accepting their role in the GAR goes against what they say they stand for.

Generally, I think there were three main plausible responses to the Clone Army from the Jedi (for those who actually acknowledged that the clones were enslaved anyway):

Viewing it as a "necessary evil" and were willing to fill their role in the hierarchy. By reasoning with themselves that it was for a greater purpose, they're basically absolving themselves of guilt/responsibility. This also goes into the "well if I don't do it then someone else will" mentality where they see it as a must. -> We can also talk about the concept of "acceptable slavery" here and how we perceive Jedi who "treated the clones nicely" vs someone like Krell who saw them as expendable and sub-human

Completely distancing themselves from the source (while actively criticizing from afar, in some cases). They might acknowledge that the clones are enslaved but refuse to actually do anything about it and instead remove themselves from the war effort entirely. They see it as something that's bad, but not something they should do anything about either. If they avoid being put into roles like "General", they avoid feeling responsible. They still remain a Jedi but have completely avoided aiding the war effort in its entirety while also remaining silent about the clones themselves with the occasional sympathetic comment.

Leaving the Order. This one can kinda go with the above I guess, though I'm sure there were Jedi who saw what was going on and outright refused to be part of an institution that was actively participating in the enslavement of the clones. I'm sure there were former Jedi (and maybe even active Jedi) who helped clones desert, though we haven't seen any in canon, so I guess it's up to the fans to have that (without the white savior vibes please :|).

I think it's also important to talk about "well, who's guilty then?" because in the broad sense, the entirety of the Order is responsible, but then it varies at an individual level. Like let's look at Plo Koon who's canonly very forgiving but draws the line at slavers and actively tries to kill them on sight multiple times in the comics. I enjoy Plo Koon as a character; I like doodling him, I like reading fics with him, but he's also a High Council Member and upholds the system which keeps the clones enslaved. His character arguably contradicts itself, but because he is portrayed as nice and caring, the argument against him is "lessened"/he is not held to the same level of accountability someone like Krell is. We excuse him—and other Jedi—from the fact that he is helping to lead an army of enslaved men because he is nice.

In Anakin's case, part of me wonders if he doesn't really think of the clones as enslaved because the clones are not enslaved in the same way that Anakin was enslaved. He has a set idea of what slavery is based on his own circumstances and the way that the clones are enslaved doesn't seem to fit the bill so he doesn't really register it. Being confronted with the fact that his childhood might not be so different from what the clones are currently going through made him uncomfortable, and as such, he pushed the thought away/decided against addressing it. That's more so an in-universe explanation since I already mentioned why the story's probably set up this way but yeah. Idk how much I want to get into that, so I'll leave it at there for now.

For what happened to the clones after Order 66, they fought for the newly established Empire and continued to be produced until the Kamino Uprising (which I think was like... 16-12BBY, somewhere in between that??). Palpatine pretty quickly started integrating natborns into the Empire's military wing though the clones still made up the bulk of it for a while since the Empire needs more than one or two years to make a complete shift. Most of the clones died before they could ever retire from old age, I believe the last active clones were Vader's fist (the 501st) and the majority of that battalion was wiped out during the Battle of Hoth. Bottomline, they deserved better than what they got.

I'm 90% sure clonehub's talked about this, so I recommend checking out her blog.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Kingdom Hearts Final Mix Recap: Traverse Town (First Visit)

Before I begin, I should mention something I forgot: Before the J-pop opening, Sora says the following words: "I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real, or not?"

That actually has nothing to do with the plot of the first game, but that opening statement gets a callback later in the series.

The story opens with Donald and Goofy watching a star blink out as they walk through the First District of Traverse Town. They rush off, with Pluto walking off to a side alley. Goofy tries to alert Donald to this, but Donald waves him off, and the two of them don't see Pluto again until after the Final Boss as a result.

Pluto then finds Sora's sleeping body, licks his face, and then pounces on his chest to wake him up. His purpose in the story fulfilled, Pluto vanishes from the plot for the rest of the game, never to be seen again until after the credits roll.

Sora wakes up, and the player has a choice:

Exit the alley and trigger a cutscene that will further the plot.

Climb some crates and skip the cutscene, going straight for the door to the Second District, and softlock the game by skipping past the point in the story where Sora gains the ability to leave Traverse Town, dooming him to forever wander the streets.

Assuming you picked option 1, the game proceeds as normal, with Sora realizing that he's in another world. The NPC's explain that Traverse Town is a refuge for people who've lost their homes, with one getting cagey when asked where she came from (warning Sora not to ask that question, as nobody likes to think or talk about what happened that brought them here). He also sees a Moogle (multiple games in the Final Fantasy series). He eventually enters the accessory shop, where he meets Cid Highwind (Final Fantasy VII), who explains what Traverse Town is, and while he hasn't heard of Sora's friends, he does offer to let him stay if he can't find a home, while warning him not to get lost. Traverse Town is (allegedly) a big and dangerous place.

At this point, the man blocking the entrance to the Second District steps aside, and Sora can now walk straight in.

Upon arrival, Sora watches a man be condemned to a fate worse than death as he loses his heart, his body disappears, and his heart transforms into a monster similar to the ones that destroyed his homeworld. This one wearing armor, and bearing an emblem depicting a black heart with a thorny, red x wrapped around it, the Soldiers are slightly stronger than the Shadows he's familiar with.

In the manga, he instead watched a monster rip out a prostitute's heart and smash it to pieces.

(I should mention I'm talking about a metaphysical, cartoon heart, not a blood pumping organ. That's why this game is rated E and not M.)

And what's worse? There are other monsters like it, in addition the Shadows Sora's familiar with.

He fights his way through the Second District, ducking in and out of buildings, just barely missing Donald and Goofy as they search for Leon.

The Shadows disapate into darkness on death, while the Soldiers release their hearts into the sky when he strikes them down.

Sora stumbles upon the home of Pongo and Perdita (101 Dalmations) whose 99 puppies were scattered across the cosmos when their homeworld was destroyed. This is a sidequest, and you can find trios of Dalmation Puppies in certain chests throughout the game.

He eventually returns to the First District, only to find that it's also deserted and overrun with these abominations.

He takes shelter in the Accessory shop, but Cid's not there.

When he exits back out to the First District, he comes face to face with Squall Leonheart (Final Fantasy VIII). He explains that the Heartless will keep going after him as long as he has the Keyblade, and demands that Sora hand it over.

Sora refuses, and Squall takes out his Gunblade (surprisingly not part Firearm, the trigger just activates it's ultimate form), and decides he'll take it by force.

It doesn't matter if you win or lose this fight, as the outcome is the same either way. Either Sora passes out from exhaustion after weakening Squall, or Squall will successfully knock him out.

Either way, Yuffie Kisaragi (Final Fantasy VII), teases Squall for losing his touch, given that he didn't immediately wipe the floor with a 14 year old. Squall reminds her that he goes by Leon these days, and notes that things are MUCH worse than they originally thought.

Meanwhile, on a distant world, a Final Mix exclusive cutscene plays as Riku wakes up among rising waterfalls. Realizing he's alone, he calls out to Sora and Kairi, but the lines aren't voiced due to Sora's Japanese and English VA's voices dropping. (Sora does not have any dialogue in either of the new, silent cutscenes, rendering this decision pointless) as Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty) watches on.

Donald and Goofy keep looking for the "Key" in the Second District, where the former is startled by Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII) when she grabs their attention to ask if they're looking for the King.

Sora wakes up in a hotel room to find Kairi watching over him. She explains that the Heartless were after him because the Keyblade is the only thing that can put them down for good (future games reveal that a Heartless slain by any other weapon will eventually regenerate). In order to keep the Heartless from tracking him, they had to separate him from the Keyblade. Sora's just glad that Kairi's okay, confusing Kairi, who's actually the great ninja Yuffie (who has never even heard of Kairi before). Maybe Leon should've held back a little more?

Regardless, they fill in Sora on what's going on while Aerith does the same for Donald and Goofy in the other room.

The Heartless are born from the darkness in people's hearts, and all hearts have at least a little darkness in them. Heartless are drawn to and feed off of that darkness. To that end, they steal hearts, both to eat and to reproduce. Every Heartless used to be a person. A man named Ansem tried to study them, and even wrote a report, but both he and his research were lost in the destruction of his homeworld with the pages of Ansem's report being scattered to many worlds.

The Keyblade isn't just a magical weapon though, it's also a magic key that can open any lock (or lock it back up). After Leon and Yuffie teach him how to use the unlocking feature (which does come in handy later), they get attacked by Heartless.

Sora's thrown into the alleyway behind the hotel before he can meet up with Donald and Goofy (the former getting flattened by the door when Leon storms into the neighboring room to warn Aerith), and Leon instructs him not to bother with the small fry, they need to take out the leader.

Sora fights his way to the Third District while the Final Fantasy characters secure the First District.

By the time Sora arrives in the Third District, Donald and Goofy get into a scuffle with a Soldier on a nearby balcony. It somehow blows them up (in spite of not having any explosive attacks), and they immediately land on Sora, noticing that he has the Keyblade.

The ground rises to box the trio in, with Soldiers emerging from the Darkness to surround them, and Sora, Donald, and Goofy fight their first battle as a team.

As soon as the last Soldier falls, a metal tunic, two boots, two gauntlets, and a helmet rain from the sky. They form together into the gigantic Guard Armor, the leader of this Heartless invasion (marked with the same Emblem as the soldiers).

After taking out the hands and feet, Sora, Donald, and Goofy finish off the main body, with the gigantic Heartless releasing its immense heart as it fades away.

Sora wonders what to do, since he still has no idea where his friends are. Donald suggest that they might find them while looking for the King, but privately admits to Goofy that he doesn't actually believe that, they just need the Keyblade, and whatever gets Sora to come with them...

Leon, however, points out that if Sora's friends aren't in Traverse Town, traveling with Donald and Goofy would be his best chance of finding them.

And so, Sora agrees, but Donald and Goofy set the condition of "no sad face" because they claim that their ship runs on happy faces. (the manga takes this literally).

The three officially introduce themselves to each other, with Goofy declaring that they're a team.

With a cry of "All for one and one for all!" (before the Three Musketeers movie, might I add) they set out on their adventure.

Meanwhile, some Disney Villains framed in shadow watch a magical projection of this whole scene, with Maleficent quieting the argument that breaks out while wondering if Sora will conquer the darkness, or if the darkness will instead conquer him.

Donald teaches Sora how to use Fire Magic, Jiminy looks forward to recording the whole adventure in his Journal, and the trio heads for either the World Exit in the First District or a Save Point. No matter where they go, they pass by a Trinity Mark, learn Trinity Jump, and head to the World Map.

There, they have an option of two worlds to go to, and the next recap shall chronicle their trip to Wonderland.

-

Love the note on how 'this is an E rated game!' after you mention the manga version has a prostitute apparently????

[microstmnt]

Micro’s TMNT (Part 1)

This whole segment would explain how the turtles got their (first severe) scars, wich you can see in their character designs

Okay, technically the story wouldn’t start here, but this segment is the one that I have given way too much thougth, and the more I think about my version of TMNT the more I realize that I didn’t do anything extremely original, it’s more of a “hey what if the turtles got severly traumatized but actually did something with it and got help?” wich... fair, that’s 80% of the fandom. So that’s how the “Battle Nexus arc” was born. AKA the only “arc” that I actually have thought out...

----

So it would start with Leo freshly 17 years old (R and D 16, M 15). Things with the Foot Clan have gotten worse by the day and the Shredder knows of the existence of the turtles. Leo and Raph are constantly butting heads over how to handle the situation, and one particular night their fighting escalates to the point of turning physical, Splinter separates them and tells Raph to go cool off (SIDENOTE: I love angst and Raph is my favorite boy, so there’s a whole pre existing fear from Splinter (Yoshi actually) that Raph’s anger could result in him “turning evil” since Raph reminds Yoshi too much of Saki when they were still friends, it’ll be explored later don’t worry). Raph leaves and when he doesnt return the following night the rest of the boys start to worry, so they turn to April and Casey to see if they’ve heard of him, they come out without any answers. Suddenly one of Don’s machines starts beeping and upon investigating they find it’s Raph’s tracker that is going off

Leo: Tracker? When did you? Mikey: And without our consent? Donnie! Donnie: Look, it only activates like this when there is a massive spike in heart rate, we can argue about this later!

They managed to pinpoint Raph's location to an  "abandoned" laboratory, Leo agrees with his brothers that it's most definetly a trap but they need to get Raph back, Splinter decides to go with them and April and Casey decide to go as well claiming that Raph is also their brother, Leo is unable to persuade them otherwise. They take the battle-shell and upon arriving they realize the place is massive so they all separate. Leo and Splinter take the roof April and Casey take the first building closer to the battle-shell, and Mikey and Donnie take to the second building: This next part all happens at roughly the same time (they're all gonna go through it, don't worry)

Leo and Splinter are at the roof trying to get a good clearing of the place (wich is deserted, hmmm), there they find Karai in company of a rat that Splinter inmediatly recognizes as Twig; his old rat companion, Karai and Leo argue, with the first one basically begging them to just leave and Leo refusing because they're looking for their brother, Karai looks puzzled. Splinter doesn't know how to react and the rat accompanying Karai is not saying a word either. Shredder appears (Oh shit. No one was ready for SHREDDER to appear, they expected a trap, they expected Karai, but Shredder?), Splinter begins to panic, split between the fear for his sons lives and the anger he feels as Yoshi for this is the first time they meet since that fateful day. Shredder... feels off, in fact everyone feels off, he orders Karai to attack Leo and she complies, but without her usual bravado, Splinter tries to interject between Karai and his son, but Twig gets in between first forcing Splinter to fight him instead, quickly subduing him Karai and Leo fight, with the former being a far better swordsman (swordswoman?), she manage to cut Leo in the face, cutting his mask in half wich quickly taints red from the blood, but she stops there unable to kill him, Shredder notices Karai's doubt and shoves her to the side, deciding to put an end to the turtle himself. Twig gets in between the two and tries to appeal to Oroku Saki, letting him know that he is in fact also Tang Shen and that during the last 14 years she's seen how Saki lost himself more and more to the armor he is wearing right now, and that is still not too late to just let it all go... Unfortunately Saki who seems fully lost to the armor just stops for a second, cocks his head to the side and strikes anyway, given Karai just enough time to get in between Shredder and Twig, being stricken in her place... Twig realizes that perhaps Saki is too far gone and she's not gonna lose the last family she has, so he and Splinter attack Shredder willing to defend their children to the death, unfortunately the man is just too strong, so in a split second where Shredder is distracted by an explosion on the first building, Twig and Splinter retreat with their kids

April and Casey find themselves in the first building, that seems to work more as a werehouse than anything, seems desolated wich worries both of them cause that screams trap and sure enough Purple Dragons and Foot Ninja start coming out of the shadows, both April and Casey have some training and they hold themselves quite alright but the amount of people start to overwhelm them so Casey proposes they retreat to the Battle-shell and just start running people over, solid plan, up to the point where the Purple Dragons just start shooting at them, not quite caring who they hurt in the process (So anyway, I started blasting) They both take cover but Casey reveals that he got shot and is rapidly losing blood, in a panic April calls an ambulance giving them their location not even knowing if they'll be able to get there in time. With the Purple Dragons closing in on them April does the first thing that she can think of: make a molotov cocktail, she starts a fire wich buys them enough time to get out of the building (wich fucking explodes in their backs) and get to the battle-shell, Casey is barely conscious and April can barely contain the bleeding and as she gets to the truck a lose Foot Ninja that got out of the ensuing chaos sneaks up on them trying to finish Casey off, April notices this and hurries to stop it, during the struggle and because April is exhausted from the previous fight and carrying Casey, she gets stabbed in the stomach. The Ninja is about to slit her throat before suddenly getting struck in the back by one of Mikey's nunchuck

Mikey and Donnie enter the second building wich is where the laboratory is, the place is deserted and both turtles are completely focused and ready to fight hell and back to get their brother back. In one of the tables strapped to it is Raph, Mikey inmediatly goes to help him before Donnie can stop him, they remove the straps with little difficulty (and Donnie is extremely nervous, because why is this going so smoothly?), Raph seems a little out of it, but conscious and intact, Mikey offers Raph to lean on him and he does and the second Don lowers his guard, turns his back to his brothers and is ready to start the journey out of the building is when Raph attacks Mikey, taking out his sai and stabbing the orange boy in the arm. Mikey panics as his first instinct tells him that Raph is extremely mad at them, but that can't be, because even tho Raph has always had his anger issues he never hurt his brothers, but here is Raph attacking them and ready to kill for the looks of it. Donnie quickly interjects, keeping Michelangelo away from their Red brother who fights with the same fury he usually reserves to the Foot Clan. This tells Don that it is Raphael who they're fighting... Raphael keeps attacking the brothers who are avoiding him as best as they can and also try to pry the remaining sai from him, Michelangelo already not being the best help on account that he has a sai deep in his arm, so Donatello tries to keep Raph's attention on him. Raph stabs Don on the leg who uses the moment to finally pin his twin to the ground, Donnie notices that Raph is crying and then notices that there seems to be a slight bump and wound on his neck, that's when it dawns on him that Raphael is being controlled, he takes the sai from his wound and (apologizing profusely) stabs Raph in the wound on his neck, ripping the micro chip that was controlling him alongside a chunk of flesh, Raph inmediatly stops fighting back and Donnie hurriedly tries to stop the bleeding, crying the whole time. Flashback... to when the twins were younger and Raph kept proclaiming, quite proudly, that he was the older twin wich meant that if Leo wasn't there he was the one in charge of keeping his brothers safe, Don chuckles simply responding "Leo is always there"

Michelangelo hears an explosion and tries to keep Don from having a full blown panic attack so tells him that they need to get going, Don and Mikey grab Raph and start carrying him to where the battle-shell is located, as they get there they notice a Foot Ninja attack April, and before it gets ugly Mikey decks him out with his nunchuck, Don absolutely loses it when he sees both of them mortally wounded. Leo and Splinter show up accompanied by Twig and Karai, Leonardo takes one look at the scene unfolding in front him: Casey and April unconscious, Raphael on the verge of passing out and all of them with mortal wounds, Michelangelo and Donatello both seem to have been in quite the rough fight, Mikey with a sai stabbed through his arm and on the verge of tears, Don bleeding profusely from a stab wound in his tigh completely unresponsive even tho he seems conscious, Splinter hurries his sons into the battle-shell having to carry Raph inside, he signals to Twig and Karai to enter and before he manages to get to April and Casey the sounds of ambulance sirens cuts through the night, Leo tries to hurry in carrying his human friends into the truck but Splinter stops him telling him that the ambulance will be able to give them more proper care that they can and that they have to leave them behind, Leo shocked and horrified understands this, so they enter the battle-shell and Twig drives them out of there, praying to anything out there that Shredder doesn't follow them...

Back in the lair Splinter and Twig are tending to their children's wounds while giving them and each other a succint recap of what has been happening in the last 14 years. Don begrudgingly allows them to dress his wound but otherwise is quiet and doesn't allow anyone to touch him, keeping to himself. Mikey is stil reeling from the adrenaline and can't seem to stop crying. Raph, like Don, is keeping quiet and keeping his distance from his brothers. Leo as soon as his wound is bandaged goes out to the local hospitals to make sure that April and Casey are alive, he basically spies on them from the neighboring rooftops and then goes back to his family to announce that they seem to be in stable enough condition. Everyone seems to let out a sigh of relief an Twig announces that in their current situation they will be unable to defeat the Shredder, wich is why she is going to personally train them, and as he says this he opens up a portal that will take them to a different dimension, where they will be able to train without interruption...

[zerogate]

His plunge into metaphysics gradually changed Elvis. He grew more circumspect, more mature. His own transformation put a damper on the activities of the Memphis Mafia, ending much of the sophomoric behavior they were known for on film sets—the horsing around, shaving-cream fights, lobbing of cherry bombs, etc.

He had always been generous, but now he strove to do so in an impersonal manner, selflessly, trying not to have ulterior motives. He gave away cars, motorcycles, jewelry, and personal possessions merely because he thought it would bring happiness to someone. Every step he took on the new path of spiritual discovery further energized him. He sensed that he was entering a new phase of life, and that some secret was about to be revealed to him. Feeling a need to overcome worldly temptations and cleanse himself physically and spiritually, he began to meditate daily and ordered a meditation garden built on the grounds at Graceland...

Over the next few years he would read a thousand or more books about metaphysical subjects. Simply by scanning some of the titles we can gain some idea of what interested Elvis and of the depth of his spiritual quest. He read Isis Unveiled and The Secret Doctrine by Helena Blavatsky, George Gurdjieff’s Meetings with Remarkable Men, and P. D. Ouspensky’s The Fourth Way. He read The Urantia Book, Manly Palmer Hall’s The Mystical Christ and The Secret Teachings of All Ages, The Chakras by C. W. Leadbeater, and Jiddu Krishnamurti’s You Are the World. He read Pyramidology: The Science of the Divine Message of the Great Pyramid by Adam Rutherford, The Holy Kabbalah by A. E. Waite, and Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha...

As time went on he kept requesting more and more books from Geller, and he loved to keep them at his disposal. Wherever he traveled, the Mafia had to transport a personal library of two hundred volumes...

===

Late that day they had reached northern Arizona and were driving on Route 66 in the vicinity of Flagstaff. A lull had settled over the vehicle, the result of many hours on the road. Suddenly Geller heard Elvis punctuate the stillness with a “Whoa!” His eyes were focused on the sky ahead. Geller looked there too and saw a strange cloud. “Do you see what I see?” Elvis asked. Geller did.

The lone cloud had taken the form of a human face—and not just any face. Both of them instantly recognized the thick moustache and heavy eyebrows of the late leader of the Soviet Union—Joseph Stalin. Though he had died twelve years earlier, Stalin still represented evil incarnate. He had ordered hundreds of thousands of executions during his decades in power, caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands more by relocating populations, incarcerated fourteen million people in the Gulag, exiled millions more to Siberia, caused famines in which millions of others died, and conducted genocide against such groups as the Ukrainians.

They watched the cloud in amazement. Elvis kept mumbling, “Why Stalin? Why Stalin?” Finally the face changed. The cloud shifted and lost the likeness. Geller glanced over at Elvis, intending to comment. For some reason, Elvis was still transfixed. He had the look of Juan Diego at Guadalupe or Bernadette at Lourdes. Geller hesitated to interrupt.

Then Elvis jammed on the brakes and pulled to the side of the road. He jumped out of the vehicle, calling to Geller to follow him, and went running into the desert. He hugged Geller when Geller caught up with him, and kept babbling about God being love. He kept telling Geller that he loved him. He kept saying that he felt filled with divine love. He kept repeating that God was love itself. As he became more coherent, he made clear what had been happening when Geller had seen him transfixed.

Elvis kept asking himself why the cloud had taken the form of Stalin. Was God trying to send him a message? Was God showing him a projection of his inner self? Elvis recoiled. In his mind he cried out to God—saying that if that face of evil was meant to represent him, then he wanted God to destroy him. He wanted only to be filled with God and love. “And then it happened!” he told Geller. “The face of Stalin turned right into the face of Jesus, and he smiled at me, and every fiber of my being felt it. For the first time in my life, God and Christ are a living reality.”

Geller had not seen the second face. Only Elvis had. They were standing there stunned when Red West came hurrying toward them. He wanted to know if Elvis was all right. Elvis assured him that he was fine. They walked back to the vehicle. Wanting only to revisit the memory again and again to savor the experience, Elvis moved to the back and let Red take over the driving. He would revel in his religious epiphany for the rest of that night. Geller accompanied him in spirit.

In the early morning hours he finally admitted to Elvis that, five years earlier, in the very same region of Arizona, he had had his own religious experience. He, a Jew, had received a message confirming that Jesus was the Christ. Once more Elvis was struck with wonder—in exactly the same location they both had had a profound mystical experience. But there was even more to it. Elvis had experienced a revelation so intensely private that he felt he could not share it with anyone, not even Geller. He would carry the burden of that revelation, hidden away in his own heart, for another nine years...

Priscilla was convinced that Elvis had a healing touch. “He was capable of spiritual healing, one touch of his hands to my temples and the most painful headaches disappeared.” So was Jerry Schilling, who had spent two weeks in a hospital after a motorcycle accident and had begun to worry that he would never be able-bodied afterward. Though he refused to think of it as anything mystical, the nagging pain did leave while Elvis was treating him. Elvis’s grandmother Minnie Mae was also convinced, and she allowed Geller and her famous grandson to treat her arthritis and other ailments over the years...

Sonny West acknowledged Elvis’s belief in his capabilities, although he was dubious about the capabilities themselves: “Elvis announced that he possessed psychic healing powers and could cure the common cold or other ailments through his simple touch. He also thought he could make leaves move and turn the sprinkler system of the Bel Air Country Club on and off through telekinesis.” However, years later, when West’s infant son had a high fever, Elvis asked if he could come and pray over him. He donned a turban and placed the child on a green scarf and began to pray while making circular motions over him. The boy’s temperature soon dropped to below 100 and did not go up again. West admitted that he and his wife were “amazed.”

-- Gary Tillery, The Seeker King: A Spiritual Biography of Elvis Presley

[tsukifanbase]

Obey Me! Brothers Visit MC During Autumn: Lucifer, Mammon, and Belphie

Authors Note: i'm thinking I might make this a series, like at the beginning of every season just something similar to this 👀 sorry I haven't written much lately! school's taking up pretty much all my time nowadays-- anywhosie, enjoy! [ also s p o i l e r s] (oh btw this is gonna take place after mc leaves devildom for the summer, before they come back to devildom) lmk if yall want pt 2 with the other characters

Warnings: fluff, bruh absolute just fluff everywhere like so much, mb a lil bit of angst but that's what all my writing is like so hehe

----------------

Lucifer

- i feel like lucifer would’ve visited you in the human realm before

- like probably sometime over the summer, but he hadn’t seen you in a while and he was starting to miss his favorite human :(

- not like he’d ever admit to that

- i don’t think luci would really be the type to wait until you summoned him for something, if he wants to make sure you’re okay, he’s gonna come see you lmao

- anyways

- lucifer had been staring out the window for quite a while- he had been doing paperwork, but somehow even when you were in a different realm, you managed to disrupt him

- he chuckled to himself at that thought, then sighed

- you had been rather difficult to focus around, always getting yourself into trouble

- luci couldn’t catch a break when you went to RAD

- he missed you

- a lot

- lucifer glanced back at his desk, where he had been working just moments before

- his eyes landed on an unsigned piece of paper that had your name on it

- you could come back home if he got you to sign it

- in truth, lucifer hadn’t really thought about finding a way to get you back to devildom. he certainly missed you, but the idea that he could actually arrange your return just hadn’t hit him yet

- until three days prior, when the sheet with your name on it appeared on his desk

- lucifer had a sneaking suspicion who put it there

- it was diavolo let’s be real

- the real mystery was why lucifer hadn’t gone to bring you the permission slip already

- he had waited- it had been three days, and he couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to go give it to you

- lucifer didn’t want to put you in the position of having to choose between your life in the human realm or your life in devildom

- but he missed you

- and so, luci checked his watch to make sure it wasn’t three in the morning, then grabbed the permission slip before making his way outside 

- it would be okay to be selfish, just this once, right?

- lucifer arrived at your home at four in the afternoon, you weren’t there

- so he found a way to open the door, bruv you hid the key under the doormat he didn’t really have a hard time lmao 

- you walked into your bedroom at nearly quarter past four and immediately flopped onto your bed

- you didn’t even notice that lucifer was watching from your desk in the corner of your room

- he walked over to you and stared at you

- bro he literally didn’t say anything, he just waited ahaha thats not creepy

- lucifer crossed his arms over his chest and you finally looked up 

- your eyes locked and you quietly asked, “luci?”

- lucifer narrowed his gaze at you and answered you with an, “mhm?”

- and then you freaked out, because honestly you half thought you were hallucinating or something, you jumped up to give lucifer a hug

- don’t get me wrong here, i have the intense feeling that lucifer doesn’t like hugs, but i also have the intense feeling that you and the occasional brother are the exception to that rule

- so

- when you clasped your arms around him, luci barely hesitated in returning the gesture

- he pulled you close, like he never wanted to let go again

- you eventually pulled back to ask why he had come to visit you

- it wasn’t like he didn’t visit often, just usually he had a reason to, even if it was just because he wanted to check up on you

- oh and all that nerve luci had about being selfish for once in his lifetime, yeah that was gone XD

- so your question kinda caught him off guard, like it just seemed like he forgot because for a hot sec he was just staring at you like, ‘uh huh im sorry what was that?’

- when he didn’t answer, you took the lead

- “do you wanna go to the fall festival with me?”, you asked, a bright grin spreading across your face

- and obviously luci knew what a fall festival was, he just didn’t really see your request coming

- but i mean he nodded so lmao

- pretty soon y’all were walking down the street, stopping at random carts at the festival to look at autumn themed stuff

- luci didn’t have human money, so every time he showed a vague interest in something and you offered to buy it for him, he would start squabbling about not wanting you to spend your money and blah blah

- you’d wait until he started walking away from the cart and then buy it for him anyways ;)

- somehow along the way, lucifer suggested you guys hold hands to stay together in the crowd uh huh yeah right lmao

- it was nearing the end of the festival when you remembered there was a park down the street, so you turned to luci and asked, “mind if i show you something?”

- he agreed and you guys started walking down the street, and lemme say the park kinda blew lucifer’s mind

- he was aware that leaves on trees changed colors depending on the season, but he wasn’t expecting how beautiful they were 

- yellows, and oranges, some red, here and there

- and then he turned to look at you

- right at home, where you belonged

- wearing a shirt luci was pretty sure you stole from him, sipping warm apple cider

- the most beautiful thing in that entire park was you, he was sure of it

- lucifer felt the permission slip crinkle in his pocket, and he made up his mind about showing it to you

- he wasn’t going to

- “lucifer, are you okay?”, you sounded concerned, and you brought the hand that had been holding his own to brush a piece of his hair out of his face

- lucifer smiled at you, really smiled, and then replied, “yes, my dear, i’m quite all right”

Mammon

- ok so u guys remember when about two minutes ago i said lucifer wasn’t the type to wait until you summoned him

-well let’s give mammon some credit where it’s due

- he triedd to wait until you summoned him

- bb is many things but he is not patient XD

- ok lets get into it

- mammon was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling

- he wasn’t really thinking about anything?? but he had been sitting there for like an hour lmao

- asmo and satan were standing in the doorway like, ‘is he okay? does he need a doctor?’

- since usually when people think of mammon they do not think, ah yes his normal activity of... doing nothing?

- then out of nowhere, mammon sat up and his brothers quickly fled the scene to avoid being caught lmao

- mammon got a big grin on his face, and he strut out of his room to go bother you

- he had gotten into the habit of going to find you whenever he was bored or lonely

- he arrived at your bedroom, and just before his fist hit the door to knock, he realized that you weren’t in there

- that you weren’t even in devildom

- mammon barely hesitated before spinning on his heel and heading to lucifer’s office

- he wasn’t even really conscious of what he was doing, but mammon knew why he was about to go ask to visit you

- he needed you, more than he ever truly realized

- when you arrived at your apartment that afternoon, you were greeted by your landlord in the lobby, he informed you that there was a strange man sitting outside of your apartment, who was insisting that he needed to see you

- you practically dropped the grocery bag you were holding, nodded to your landlord, thanked him, and then began sprinting towards your apartment

- mammon was sitting in front of your door, staring down at his hands, he didn’t even notice that you had walked up to him

- you immediately noticed something was off with him, so you dropped to your knees to bring him into a hug, “what’s wrong?”

- he smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms around you, “nuthin'”, now that you were with him

- after you both relished in being reunited, you hopped up and grinned at him, “you’ve got perfect timing!”

- you went to unlock your apartment door, and pointed at the grocery bag that you had abandoned on the floor- it was full of apples

- mammon stood and picked up the bag for you, “apples?”, he questioned, he wasn’t really familiar with human cuisine but it seemed a little bit strange to just buy a massive bag of apples

- “i’m gonna make desert!”, you opened the door and walked into your apartment, then closed the door behind mammon, “and you’re gonna help me”

- the smile you gave him made his heart melt

- he had missed you so much

- “pfffff, why would i do that?”, mammon’s cheeks were flushed red, he crossed his arms and looked away from you, trying to hide his embarrassment 

- you were grabbing something out of your cabinet, it looked like sugar, “because”, you smiled at him 

- “what kind of reason is that-”

- he helped you make the apple pie lmao

- mammon lifted a bite of the pie up to his face to look at it, “what even is this?” 

- he wasn’t asking in a mean way, he just genuinely didn’t know what he was looking at lol

- “just try it! i promise you’ll like it!”, you told him from the kitchen, you were putting away ingredients

- mammon huffed, and you gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse

- “if you try it, i’ll give you a present”, he immediately tried the dessert

- greedy boi

- mammon thought it was delicious, but he wasn’t about to tell you that, “i guess it’s alright, now you’re gonna gimme something?” 

- you nodded and walked over to where he was sitting, “hey, what’re ya doin’?”, you gave him a peck on the cheek

- mammon fell silent for a second, and then his face burst into flames as he watched you grin and return to putting things away

- and honestly that was the best gift you could’ve given him

Belphie

- ok so im sorry but belphie is definitely the type of demon to wait for you to summon him

- i don’t make the rules XD

- he is tired boy, and while he may love and care about you a lot, going to the human realm takes a lotttttttt of energy lmao

- like he has to walk allllllll the way to lucifer’s office and ugh just like no too much work

- so anyways lmao

- you hadn’t really planned on summoning bel at all

- you were lying in bed, a lazy morning like so many you had shared together

- this one was more beautiful than any you had ever experienced before

- the leaves were changing colors just outside your window, the sunlight of a late morning breaching your bedroom through the leaves, and hitting your face

- the weather had gotten colder recently, so you had added more blankets to your bed to accommodate

- or maybe you were trying to make up for the loss of your cuddle buddy

- either way, you were wrapped securely in blankets

- and everything seemed perfect

- except you were missing the best part of sleeping in, of staying in bed until the early afternoon

- you were missing your best friend

- so you decided to change that

- you barely had to think about how to summon him, one second, he wasn’t there, and the next, belphie was lying on top of you

- he was sleeping, as usual

- bel clutched you tight in his sleep, mumbling something about missing you under his breath

- he was dreaming about you

- because as little energy he had to go visit, that didn’t mean that belphie didn’t miss you

- in fact, nearly every day since you left devildom, bel had complained to beel about how cold his bed was

- bel had trouble sleeping for a while after you left, unbelievable, but true

- he had grown so accustomed to falling asleep every night to the sound of your breath, your scent, your warmth

- belphie opened his eyes mid afternoon, he realized why he had been sleeping so soundly when he glanced down to see who he was hugging

- your eyes were closed and he assumed you were asleep

- bel sighed blissfully and hugged you tighter, pressing a kiss to your head

- “i missed you”, he mumbled into your hair

- “i missed you too, bel”

[melanielocke]

Entrance to the Forbidden City

This is a one shot Breath of the Wild AU, where Thomas is Link and is seeking a way into the Gerudo city. Close the the city, he encounters someone who might be able to help him. At this point, I have no plans to continue this, but you never know.

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month @writeordie-4 @amchara

Thomas sheathed his sword as he entered the Kara Kara Bazaar. He wouldn’t be needing it here, he hoped, but during his travels he’d learnt to always be on guard. Calamity Ganon was growing stronger, and with him increased the number of monster attacks, not to mention he’d heard the rumors the yiga clan was active in the Gerudo Desert. His next stop should be Gerudo City, but there was a problem. For centuries, the famous city of the Gerudo had forbidden entrance to men. Thomas believed it had something to do with previous evil kings leading the Gerudo into pointless wars, but there hadn’t been male Gerudo in centuries. He needed to speak to the chief about appeasing Vah Naboris and freeing Urbosa so he could defeat Calamity Ganon, but lately the Gerudo had been on high guard and the chief would not be leaving the city.

He’d come to the Kara Kara Bazaar instead, a place where the Gerudo traded with Hylian men who were not permitted entrance to the city in the hopes of finding someone who knew another, secret way into the city. Thomas didn’t want to harm the Gerudo and respected their customs, but he liked to belief this was a life and death situation. He overheard a couple of Hylian men.

The Bazaar was a nice place centered around an oasis. A little Gerudo girl was swimming in the water, and Thomas would like to go for a swim later. The desert heat had proven a bit much for him and he was glad for the shade the buildings offered. Most of the traders were seated outside on carpets, displaying their wares.

‘It’s impossible to get inside,’ one of the Hylian men argued.

Thomas was not included in the conversation, but the men did not have the good sense to keep their voices down.

‘There are rumors, of a man in the city,’ another said. ‘There must be some truth to it.’

‘Even if you could get past the gates, I imagine traversing a city full of Gerudo women might be dangerous,’ Thomas said. ‘They’re quite handy with their spears and scimitars and would not look kindly to men sneaking in.’

‘You make a fine point,’ one of the men begrudgingly admitted.

‘Better to send messages through my wife,’ another said. ‘None of this hassle of getting in the city, I bring my goods here and if I need anything from the city, my wife makes the journey.’

Thomas, of course, didn’t have a wife. He’d woken up from a long slumber not long ago and had been fighting monsters and traveling Hyrule ever since. Not to mention he was not attracted to women.

‘I’ll have to find another way in then,’ Thomas said. ‘For I don’t have a wife to ask favors of.’

‘In that case, you might want to talk to that Gerudo girl over there,’ one of the men said. ‘The one selling cakes. Rumor has it she can get you inside the city, but she refuses to talk to any of us, she will only sell us her cakes.’

Thomas followed the man’s gaze to a lone girl with a golden brown skin sitting on a patterned Gerudo carpet. She wore a purple veil that covered both her hair and her face from the nose down, combined with a short purple top and a white sirwal Thomas knew was popular among Gerudo. Her stomach was bare, and Thomas realized that despite being slim, she was quite muscular. She wore lots of jewelry, a pair of topaz earrings. Thomas had been looking into getting a pair of his own as he’d been told they offered shock resistance.

She looked up, caught his stare. She had beautiful dark eyes, he noticed. He rarely looked at girls that way, he wasn’t sure what was different now.

‘She seems into you,’ one of the men said. ‘I say grab your chance, Gerudo girls are said to be hard to get.’

Thomas left the men behind, growing a little uncomfortable with their conversation, and sat down on the carpet beside the girl. He was aware that might be odd or too forward, but he needed to speak to her.

‘Seen something you like?’ she said.

Her voice was a little deeper than he’d expected of a girl, but perhaps that was because she was Gerudo. Thomas didn’t know how to respond. Was she flirting with him?

‘I like men,’ Thomas said.

He preferred being direct, and this way it would be clear he didn’t like her flirting, if that was what she’d intended to do.

The girl laughed. ‘I meant the cakes. As for your preferences… that shouldn’t be a problem.’

Thomas looked at the person in front of him. ‘You’re not a girl,’ he said.

‘Never claimed I was,’ the boy said. ‘My name’s Alastair.’

Gerudo males were rare, some said they didn’t even exist. Of course, it had been a hundred years and Thomas barely remembered anything. Perhaps Alastair was the first male Gerudo centuries. Or perhaps there were more of them nowadays.

‘Why are you dressed like a girl?’ Thomas asked and he realized that might be a stupid question.

‘I like these clothes,’ Alastair said. ‘And considering there are no male Gerudo, you can hardly say these clothes are gendered, are they? I think it’s nonsense for clothes to be gendered, yet so many male Hylians would rather die than put this on. I say, their loss, I look great. Besides, I’d die in the desert heat if I had to wear that tunic of yours. Not that it doesn’t look well on you.’

Thomas smiled. ‘Right. Sorry, I’m Thomas. And you’re right, what I’m wearing is pretty hot. I actually traversed the desert without my shirt, but I figured that would be indecent here.’

‘Now that’s something I wish I could have seen,’ Alastair said. ‘You could go for a swim here if you want.’

Thomas felt his cheeks flush. Was Alastair flirting with him? He had to admit, Alastair was very attractive, although he couldn’t see most of his face. A few locks of ink black hair escaped his veil, framing his face.

‘I’m looking for a way to get inside Gerudo city,’ Thomas said. ‘Do you know how? Wait, you must be forbidden entry as well, right? You’re a man too, even if you’re Gerudo.’

‘I’m not Gerudo,’ Alastair said.

Thomas frowned. ‘Really? You kind of look Gerudo.’

‘If I were, I’d be a lot taller. And my hair would be red, not black. No, I’m Hylian,’ Alastair said. ‘But I live around here, work for the Gerudo chief. I grew up in Hateno village, but I like it here better.’

‘Even if you’re not allowed in the city?’ Thomas asked.

‘You mistook me for a girl,’ Alastair pointed out. ‘I can go in the city whenever I like as long as I wear this. It’s almost time for me to pack up. Why don’t you join me for dinner? We can have whatever I don’t sell for desert.’

Thomas smiled awkwardly. He was very much interested in having dinner with Alastair and not only because Alastair might help him get inside Gerudo city.

One of the men he’d spoken to earlier came by to buy a mighty fruit cake. As it was made with banana, it increased someone’s strenght for a while. Thomas had always been interested in the strange way cooking meals and elixirs could come with beneficial effects.

‘Fond of bananas, are you?’ Alastair asked while scribbling something down.

‘My favorite,’ the man said with a smile. ‘Can’t get enough of them.’

He helped Alastair box the remainder of his cakes, and they went inside. The house was small, with a two person bed, kitchen and table all in the same room, and a small door leading to a bathroom. One wall was decorated with several Gerudo spears.

Alastair removed his veil and put it in a closet. His black hair reached his shoulders, falling in soft locks. Thomas wondered if only male Gerudo had dark hair. As far as he knew all Gerudo women had red hair. He was pretty, Thomas had always loved the combination of dark hair and eyes, and he once again wondered about Alastair’s possible interest in him. He’d definitely been flirting, right? But Thomas didn’t have time for romance, he reminded himself. Lucie was in Hyrule Castle all by herself, holding back the calamity. She needed his help as soon as possible. He was here to appease Vah Naboris.

‘I’ve been selling lots of fruit cakes with banana in them,’ Alastair said. ‘Bad news.’

Thomas frowned. ‘How is that bad?’

‘The yiga clan is said to be fond of them,’ Alastair said. ‘Have you heard of them?’

The yiga clan was a group of evil sheikah dedicated to resurrecting Calamity Ganon and destroying the Hylian champion. Thomas knew who they were, considering they were all after him.

‘I am familiar with them,’ Thomas said. ‘Fought off a couple of their foot soldiers during my travels.’

‘You’re very brave,’ Alastair said. ‘The real reason I’m here, selling cakes, is to investigate them. Hylian men come here, yes, but so do the yiga. I’ve had my eye on that man who bought the banana cake for a while. He’s been here on and off for some time, and the time intervals wouldn’t allow him to travel all the way to a Hylian town. He could come from the Gerudo Canyon Stables, perhaps, but the traveling distance would also match up with the hideout of the yiga clan.’

Thomas’ eyes went wide. ‘You know where their hideout is?’

Alastair gathered some materials onto the stove, Thomas could recognize hylian rice, goron spice and some vegetables.

‘Not yet,’ Alastair said as he added everything into his cooking pot and put on the stove. ‘We know it’s somewhere north of Gerudo city, and they’ve been around a lot. My sister’s been fighting them off, but not long ago they stole the thunder helmet, an heirloom to the Gerudo chief’s family.’

Thomas wondered how Alastair knew so much about the Gerudo. He claimed not to be one, yet dressed like one, seemed familiar with their customs and heritage.

‘I could help retrieve it,’ Thomas offered. ‘I’m familiar with the yiga clans’ fighting style, and am quite accomplished with this sword.’

Finding the master sword had been quite a journey, as Lucie had taken it back to Korok Forest. To find it, he’d had to traverse the lost woods in the north.

‘Good. I like your sword, it looks good. But first, I should introduce you to my sister,’ Alastair said. ‘The chief of the Gerudo.’

Thomas frowned. ‘You said you weren’t Gerudo.’

‘I’m not, my mother is,’ Alastair said. ‘And so is my sister.’

‘I’m confused,’ Thomas said.

‘Gerudo men are extremely rare, none have been born in centuries,’ Alastair said. ‘Gerudo women usually find Hylian men to be their lovers and have children. My mother was different, she was married to my father and lived with him in Hateno village, but she returned to her hometown not long ago. Anyway, this means all Gerudo have a non Gerudo father, and most only give birth to daughters. I’m the exception, but I’m Hylian, even if I do look a lot like my mother. Although you could say that culturally, I’m more Gerudo than Hylian.’

‘That’s weird,’ Thomas said. ‘I had no idea it worked like that. I always thought the children of a Gerudo are always Gerudo.’

‘Most of the time,’ Alastair said. ‘My sister is Gerudo like our mother, I’m Hylian like our father, even if I look like the Hylian version of my mother. People are always very confused. Since the chief of the Gerudo is my sister, I can get you an audience with her, no problem.’

‘Is that why they said you could help me get inside?’ Thomas asked.

‘I’ve spread that rumor myself, actually, to draw out the yiga,’ Alastair said. ‘Unfortunately, they still got in somehow to steal the thunder helmet. But I recognize you, you’re the Hylian champion and you carry the sword that seals the darkness. However, that won’t get you into the city.’

‘You know who I am?’ Thomas asked.

To most people, the Hylian champion was just a story, someone who’d died a hundred years ago. The Zora recognized him, of course, for to them a hundred years wasn’t much and most Zora from back then still lived. He’d encountered his cousin Christopher too, a renown Sheikah researcher of ancient technology who’d accidently turned himself into a six year old. But beyond them, people didn’t know who he was.

‘I recognize that sword. I’ve always been interested in weapons, although I prefer spears myself,’ Alastair said, gesturing to his collection. ‘My sister will be quite interested in you as well. But you can’t walk in like this.’

‘So, then how?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair smirked. ‘I think I have a veil and outfit that would fit you lying around here somewhere.’

Thomas frowned. ‘I’m not slim or feminine like you. No one’s going to believe I’m a girl, not with these shoulders.’

‘You’re right, your shoulders are quite extra ordinary,’ Alastair said. ‘But it’ll be fine. I think at this point, about half the city knows I’m not a girl, but as long as I dress like one no one kicks me out. Besides, Gerudo women are very tall and muscular.’

‘So all these men claiming it’s impossible, they could just put on some feminine clothes and they could go in? And they never realized?’

Some of them had facial hair, but Thomas imagined the veil would conceal that as well. He couldn’t imagine anyone would believe he was a woman ever, not with his height, his broad shoulders Alastair thought were extra ordinary. But according to Alastair, that didn’t matter as long as he was willing to dress like a girl. Alastair had a point though, clothes being gendered was strange.

Alastair rolled his eyes. ‘Most men are far too proud of their so called masculinity to dress in women’s clothes. Never mind that any Gerudo woman could defeat them in battle with their eyes closed. You seem like a strong warrior though, watching you fight a Gerudo warrior might be interesting.’

‘Thank you. You seem strong too. Do you often use your spears in battle?’

‘I am currently undercover, but I do fight. I travel sometimes, and these days anyone should be able to defend themselves if they wish to survive outside the few cities that remain.’

‘True,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ve encountered monsters everywhere lately.’

‘Ever defeated a molduga?’ Alastair asked. ‘My sister and I have. They’re very large and live in the desert, killing unsuspecting travelers. They are sensitive to shifts in the sands and will know where you are in an instant.’

‘I can’t say I have,’ Thomas said. ‘But I’m willing to give it a try. My ultimate goal is to defeat Calamity Ganon though.’

‘I hope you succeed,’ Alastair said. ‘If you ever need help, or someone to accompany on your journey, I’m more than willing.’

‘It would be dangerous,’ Thomas said.

‘Have you seen my spears? I defeated a molduga with those,’ Alastair said. ‘And my sister is even stronger a warrior than me. I’m better at stealth too, so if you need to break into the yiga hideout unseen you could use my help.’

Thomas guessed he should take Alastair up on that offer, he could always use extra help. His journeys could get lonely, would Alastair be willing to come with him beyond a trip to the yiga clan hideout?

‘Alright,’ Thomas said. ‘We can go together after I speak to your sister. When do we leave?’

Alastair made two plates of the food he’d made, and Thomas thankfully ate some curry. It didn’t have any special effects, but he loved eating food with goron spice.

‘After dinner. I think it’s best to start searching for the hideout early tomorrow morning, or it’ll get too hot. Or, and I think this is a pretty solid idea, we wait until it’s so hot you’ll have no choice but to take off your shirt.’

Thomas smiled. ‘Let’s go early. Not that I don’t want you to see… I just don’t think it would be practical, and we only just met…’

‘Don’t worry, I’m just joking. But you should go out with me sometime after we defeat Calamity Ganon.’

‘You’re going to help me?’ Thomas asked.

‘Of course,’ Alastair said. ‘If we break into the yiga clan hide out and wreak some havoc, I won’t have to go undercover as a cake vendor anymore. I’m sure Cordelia won’t mind if I join you.’

[agnes-come-back-challenge]

Who wants a full comparison of episodes 1, 25, and 111 of Welcome to Night Vale? Because I love comparing these episodes and also I have no impulse control. Let’s go

(Spoilers up to episode 111, obviously. Also, I’ll bold every other segment so that it’s easier to tell which ones I’m comparing)

((This is gonna be an incredibly long post. I’m very sorry))

A friendly desert community, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale. (1)

A friendly desert community, where the sun is still hot, the moon still beautiful, and mysterious lights still pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale. (25)

A friendly desert community, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead, while we lay open eyed, watching it all. Welcome to Night Vale. (111)

Hello listeners. To start things off, I’ve been asked to read this brief notice. The City Council announces the opening of a new Dog Park at the corner of Earl and Summerset, near the Ralphs. They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the Dog Park. People are not allowed in the Dog Park. It is possible you will see hooded figures in the Dog Park. do not approach them. Do not approach the Dog Park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the Dog Park and especially do not look for any period of time at the hooded figures. The Dog Park will not harm you. (1)

One single year since two major events in our town’s history. First, the opening of our lovely, state-of-the-art Dog Park, which is forbidden, and which I will not mention again. (25)

The City Council reiterated for the 1,874th consecutive day that the Dog Park is off limits for both dogs and humans. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous etc. Hooded figures and all that. Since its construction we have shied from and feared the Dog Park. The Dog Park is neither a park nor for dogs, and so what does it even mean to call it a dog park? Why do we use language that means one thing to describe something that is entirely else? I don’t know what the word is for that place the City Council calls the dog park, but I do know it’s time to start searching for that word, and once found, to use it boldly. (111)

And now the news. Old Woman Josie, out near the car lot, says the Angels revealed themselves to her. Said they were ten feet tall, radiant, one of them was black. Said they helped her with various household chores. One of them changed a light bulb for her, the porch light. She’s offering to sell the old light bulb, which has been touched by an angel (it was the black angel, if that sweetens the pot for anyone). If you’re interested, contact Old Woman Josie. She’s out near the car lot. (1)

[none] (25)

The angels, who I can now say are angels, and will say are angels, because they are angels, held a memorial for Old Woman Josie in her house. Everyone in town came, overcome with a feeling that finally they could look at these beings and recognize them for what they were. Even the City Council attended the memorial, but refused to make eye contact with anyone. Of course, this positive, concrete identification only led to more mysteries, for if these are angels, then where did they come from? And what does that mean for us? Even now we find that we cannot voice these questions. Not because we are not allowed. But because we cannot find the words to ask. Instead we ate cake and drank coffee in the living room of Old Woman Josie, which was once just that, a place she lived. Now it is only a room. One by one, we laid our hand on the Angels’ hands, and in that moment of contact each of us, in turn, found ourselves weeping. As the party wound down, we all heard a soft pop outside. It was the lightbulb on Old Woman Josie’s porch, burning out. (111)

A new man came in to town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat? He says he is a scientist. Well, we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here? And just what does he plan to do with all those beakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he’s renting, the one next to Big Rico’s Pizza. No one does a slice, like Big Rico. No one. (1)

Second, and more important, it is one year since the arrival in Night Vale of our most beloved and singular citizen. (25)

A man who I know very well came into my house today, which is also his house. He laid his head, with its perfect and beautiful hair, upon my shoulder, and crossed his arms over his perfect and beautiful lab coat. I embraced him. We are creatures of touch, humans, and we retrieve so much meaning and happiness from contact. “I have become too complacent,” he said. “When I came here, I understood this town as scientifically fascinating. And then, gradually, it became my day to day life. I could no longer see the strangeness, but only my home.” “We are all guilty of that,” I said. “But I am a scientist,” he said.“Well,” I said. “We have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives.” (111)

Just a reminder to all the parents out there. Let’s talk about safety when taking your children out to play in the scrub lands and the sand wastes. You need to give them plenty of water, make sure there’s a shade tree in the area, and keep an eye on the helicopter colors. Are the unmarked helicopters circling the area black? Probably World Government, not a good area for play that day. Are they blue? That’s the Sheriff’s Secret Police, they’ll keep a good eye on your kids, and hardly ever take one. Are they painted with complex murals depicting birds of prey diving? No one knows what those helicopters are, or what they want. Do not play in the area. Return to your home and lock the doors until a Sheriff’s Secret Policeman leaves a carnation on your porch to indicate that the danger has passed. Cover your ears to blot out the screams. Also, remember: Gatorade is basically soda, so give your kids plain old water and maybe some orange slices when they play. (1)

Parents: Let’s talk about safety when taking your children to play out in the scrub lands and the sand wastes. All children in Night Vale are missing this week, so there’s no current safety issues. Hope we find them! (25)

Just a reminder to all the parents out there. Let’s talk about safety when taking your children out to play in the scrub lands and the sand wastes. You need to give them plenty of water, make sure there’s a shade tree in the area, and keep an eye on the helicopter colors. I asked my best friend and brother, Steve, to talk me through which helicopters belong to which organizations. Obviously the black helicopters belong to the World Government, although I had not realized, until Steve laid it out for me, how closely they are also associated with the Lizard People. The blue ones are Sheriff’s Secret Police, the pink ones are the new Double Secret Police, and the ones painted with complex murals depicting birds of prey diving? Well not even Steve knows what those helicopters are, nor what they want. On Steve’s chart, those are just labeled with the word RUN and then a few hundred exclamation points. (111)

A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear in the Night Vale Elementary gymnasium during basketball practice, disrupting practice quite badly. The jet roared through the small gym for only a fraction of a second, and before it could strike any players or structure, it vanished again, this time apparently for good. There is no word yet on if or how this will affect the Night Vale Mountain Lion’s game schedule, and also if this could perhaps be the work of their bitter rivals, the Desert Bluffs Cacti. Desert Bluffs is always trying to show us up through fancier uniforms, better pre-game snacks, and quite possibly by transporting a commercial jet into our gymnasium, delaying practice for several minutes at least. For shame, Desert Bluffs. For shame. (1)

In other news, a commercial airliner appeared today inside the home of surprised Night Vale citizen Becky Canterbury, who said she was about to get in the shower when it roared down her hallway and then disappeared, as suddenly as it had arrived. There is no conclusive evidence that this is the same airliner last seen in the Night Vale Elementary gym one year ago, but we have jumped to that conclusion and will defend it against all naysayers, violently and without mercy. Our truths may or may not be true, but they are ours, and we stand by them, even as the experts and skeptics hold aloft clipboards and intone to us about snow and mountains. Becky added that she would like to take that shower now, and that she has no idea how we managed to arrive for an interview mere seconds after the incident occurred. “My doors are locked.” she said. “My windows too. I’ve had my eyes shut for years. How did you get in here?” (25)

A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear at the fifth hole of the Sagebrook Pines Private Golf Club and Bulk Supplier. This disrupted all golf activities badly, as well as scaring a family of four who were perusing bulk paper towels offered at a discount price in a nearby sandtrap. I feel, for the first time, that I can articulate that this airliner had flown into some other universe, those divisions being particularly thin here in our quaint little community. This also is the cause of things like dead relatives occasionally joining us for breakfast, or the shimmering skyscrapers and crowded cities that appear for flashing moments in the sky. Of course, it also could be the handywork of the East Night Vale Cacti, the basketball team at the new East Night Vale Elementary School. Those scamps are always pulling pranks. Could they transport a large plane through multiple universes? Who am I to say? But probably yes. For shame, East Night Vale. For shame. (111)

The local chapter of the NRA is selling bumper stickers as part of their fundraising week. They sent the station one to get some publicity, and we’re here to serve the community, so I’m happy to let you all know about it. The stickers are made from good, sturdy vinyl, and they read: “Guns don't kill people. It's impossible to be killed by a gun. We are all invincible to bullets and it's a miracle.” Stand outside of your front door and shout “NRA” to order one. (1)

The local chapter of the NRA has begun market testing some possible new slogans. These include: “Guns don't kill people. Blood loss and organ damage does.” “Guns don't kill people. People kill guns.” “A list of things that kill people: 1. Conceivably anything. 2. Not guns.” “Guns don't kill people. We are all immortal souls living temporarily in shelters of earth and meat.” and “If you say guns kill people one more time I will shoot you with a gun and you will, coincidentally, die.” To vote on the new slogan, simply fire a gun at the object or person that best represents your choice. (25)

The local chapter of the NRA is selling bumper stickers as part of their fundraising week. The stickers are made from good, sturdy vinyl and they read “We genuinely do not value human life.” Cute! (111)

Carlos and his team of scientists warn that one of the houses in the new development of Desert Creek, out back of the elementary school, doesn’t actually exist. “It seems like it exists,” explained Carlos and his perfect hair. “Like it’s just right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not” But, he says, they have done experiments and the house is definitely not there. At news time, the scientists are standing in a group on the sidewalk in front of the nonexistent house, daring each other to go knock on the door. (1)

Scientists, and science in general, would like to remind you that some things exist and some things do not. Usually, you can apply the simple test of seeing if it is there. If it is there, it exists. If not, it probably doesn’t, but it might just be currently existing somewhere else. Existence is tricky, the scientists say. Research shows this. For instance, there is that house in the housing development of Desert Creek out back of the elementary school, the house that doesn’t exist. It seems like it exists. Like it’s just right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it does not exist. They have proved this with science. The scientists still haven’t gotten up the nerve to ring the doorbell and find out what happens. Do you want to do it? They’ll pay you five dollars if you do. Just ring it once ok. We’ll be watching from back here. You’ll probably be fine. (25)

Carlos and his scientists, like Luisa and Nilanjana, are renewing their investigation into the house in the development of Desert Creek, out back of the elementary school. The house that doesn’t actually exist. “It seems like it exists,” muttered Carlos. “Like it’s just right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not.” But he says, it is actually a doorway to another world. A world he himself was once stuck in for a year. There seem to be secrets about that year he is keeping to himself. Maybe someday we will learn what they are. (111)

Lights, seen in the sky above the Arby’s. Not the glowing sign of Arby’s. Something higher and beyond that. We know the difference. We’ve caught on to their game. We understand the lights above Arby’s game. Invaders from another world. Ladies and gentlemen the future is here. And it’s about a hundred feet above the Arby’s. (1)

But here, Carlos and I sat on the trunk of that car, his car, looking together at the lights up in the sky above the Arby’s. They were beautiful in the hushed twilight, shimmering in a night sky already coming alive with bits of the universe. [...] We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby’s. We understand so much. But the sky behind those lights, mostly void, partially stars, that sky reminds us: we don’t understand even more. (25)

Lights, seen in the sky above the Arby’s. Not the glowing sign of Arby’s. Something higher and beyond that. One night, years ago, two people, scared and vulnerable and loving and ready, came together for a quiet moment under that sky. And I pretended at the time to understand the lights. But a big part of recognizing the world for what it is, is recognizing when you have no idea. Invaders from another world? Harbingers of future terror? A fragment of another universe, fading into our own above reasonably priced lunch meat? Maybe any. Maybe all. Maybe none. But here is what I do know. The lights are, among other things, a part of my memory, and a part of my marriage, and a part of my love. They are a piece of my past, and I don’t need to understand them to understand that. Ladies and gentlemen the past is here. And it’s about a hundred feet above the Arby’s. (111)

The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered heavens, and the hierarchy of angels. The reminder is that you should not know anything about this. The structure of heaven and the angelic organizational chart are privileged information, known only to City Council members on a need to know basis. Please to do not speak to or acknowledge any angels that you may come across while shopping at the Ralphs or at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. They only tell lies, and do not exist. Report all angels sightings to the City Council for treatment. (1)

The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered heavens, and the hierarchy of angels. The reminder is that you still should not know anything about this. The structure of heaven and the angelic organizational chart are still privileged information. Also, angels aren’t real. “I really get tired of having to say this,” a City Council representative said to a group of disgruntled angels. “Angels aren’t real. They just aren’t.” The angels became unruly and were dispersed by a thunderclap from heaven. (25)

The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered heavens and the hierarchy of angels. The reminder is the Council is grumpy that all of this is not forbidden knowledge, but due to the new laws, they are required to inform you that the angels have made all of that information available. Stop by the house where the angels live if you want to pick up a free packet outlining exactly how all of that is organized. While the packet itself is free, it is likely the angels will ask to borrow five dollars. They tend to do that. (111)

Speaking of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, its owner, Teddy Williams, reports that he has found the entrance to a vast, underground city in the pin retrieval area of lane 5. He said he has not yet ventured into it, merely peered down at its strange spires and broad avenues. He also reports voices of a distant crowd in the depths of that subterranean metropolis. Apparently the entrance was discovered when a bowling ball accidentally rolled into it, clattering down to the city below with sounds that echoed for miles across the impossibly huge cavern. So, you know, whatever population that city has, they know about us now and we might be hearing from them very soon. (1)

Word is in about a disturbance at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. There has been the sound of chanting and machinery from under the pin retrieval area of lane five, and Teddy Williams has changed all the bowlers’ names on the electronic scorecards to “THEY ARE HERE”. This is causing some confusion and has completely ruined Jeremy Godfrey's 50th birthday party, which had rented out a few lanes for the afternoon. Jeremy was last seen drinking a light beer out of a plastic cup, shaking his head sadly as he swished the liquid around and looking out the window at the sky, mostly void, partially stars. Teddy Williams was last seen howling, commanding his militia to surround the pin retrieval area and prepare for an attack. (25)

Over at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, Teddy Williams, its owner, reported the startling news that there is nothing under the pin retrieval area of lane 5. As you may remember, there has been a tiny city of warlike people under the bowling alley for several years now, which has caused some trouble, although not a lot of trouble, because they were very tiny people. But now there is just a hole in the earth under the pin retrieval area, an empty space containing only my own memories of a night that someone I loved almost died before I had a chance to truly love him. So good riddance to whatever that town was. (111)

Carlos, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier but declined to stay for an interview. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires and tubes. Said he was testing the place for materials. I don’t know what materials he meant, but that box sure whistled and beeped a lot. When he put it close to the microphone, it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up. Really went crazy. Carlos looked nervous. I’ve never seen that kind of look on someone with that strong of a jaw. He left in a hurry. Told us to evacuate the building, but then, who would be here to talk sweetly to all of you out there. (1)

I arrived at the parking lot to find Carlos, perched on the trunk of his car in flannel and jeans, his perfect hair mussed, his perfect teeth hidden. “What is it?” I said. “What danger are we in? What mystery needs to be explored?” He shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “After everything that happened...I just wanted to see you.” My heart leapt. My heart soared. My heart, metaphorically, performed a number of aerial activities, and, literally, it began beat hard. (25)

Carlos, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier, and we ate lunch together out of Tupperwares. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires and tubes. When he put it close to the microphone, it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up. Really went crazy. He asked if I remembered it. He had brought it by on the first day we had met. He had told me that it tested for materials, but he wasn’t actually sure what materials it tested for. He had just wanted an excuse to come by and talk to me. “Anyway,” he said, “I thought it was a nice memento. Back when we were fumbling awkwardly toward this life we share.” “But,” he added, “it’s a real instrument that is detecting some actual materials of some kind, so there is a good chance that everything about this studio is deeply dangerous. Please be careful.” (111)

Settling in to be another clear and pretty evening here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with, or at least good memories of when you did. Good night, listeners. Good night. (1)

We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby’s. We understand so much. But the sky behind those lights, mostly void, partially stars, that sky reminds us: we don’t understand even more. Good night, Night Vale. Good night. (25)

Settling in to be another clear and pretty evening here in Night Vale, this weird, weird town. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with. I know I do. Good night, listeners. Good night. (111)

[def-initely-soul]

house rules {2}

pairing: jimin x reader (f.)

genre: fluff; angst; roommates au; kinda new girl au; smut; f2l au

rating: explicit

warnings: sexual content; mention of emotional abuse; mention of manipulative relationship; mention of body issues; explicit smut

words: 19.6k

summary:

↠ {living with two guys has always its pros and cons. Pros being someone will always get you popcorn for your midnight cravings. Cons being you might like one of them…?} ↞

or alternatively, the shenanigans of five friends, where two of them are in a loving relationship, one is Kim Seokjin and the other two don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

.

.

Next morning, on Christmas eve, you try to be as nonchalant as you can. Thankfully your walls are thick enough so no one took notice of your late-night shenanigans and what happened between you before Hoseok’s interruption was barely anything out of the ordinary.

Thankfully you get yourself distracted with the preparations for this evening. Every year the five of you plan a traditional Christmas dinner, idea courtesy of Hoseok’s and Seokjin’s minds, where every single one of you was assigned to different tasks.

Seokjin is in charge of the roasted turkey, as he is every year, Hoseok will cook his famous vanilla-roasted sweet potatoes, Jimin will prepare a cauliflower soup and Ana is always in charge of the desert. This year choosing the recipe of a Buche de Noel.

You’re left with the simple task of making smooth mashed potatoes and bringing the booze.

Even though simpler than what others have to do, it gives you time to be alone and focus on something else other than Jimin. Whether you’re cooking or going to the store to pick up the alcohol, your time is productively filled with anything other than thoughts of him.

You take a nap around midday, leaving the kitchen free for the guys to use. Taking a hold of this opportunity to stay clear of Jimin’s gaze. You make sure your interactions are limited between the lines of what is only necessary, even when the preparations are done and you sit around the table.

Ana and Seokjin arrive together, the turkey the size of a small TV, which Seokjin himself puts on the table. Not letting anyone else help him or carve it, flashbacks of last year when Jimin tried to carve it and nearly dropped it still etched to everyone’s memory.

You help Ana move the desert to the fridge for later, and as all of you take your places at the dinner table, you feel a particular set of eyes on you.

Thankfully you don’t sit next to him so you don’t have any one-on-one conversation like you do with Seokjin sitting to your right. You only talk to him when the conversation involves the whole group and that’s only to not alert anyone that something is off.

Your mind is swarmed with memories of Jimin’s look. With the way he’s looking at you now.

You ignore it in favour of talking to Ana at the end of the table as she rumbles excitedly about the party next week. You immerse yourself in that conversation, going lightly over some details and pouring another glass of wine as Seokjin passionately joins you.

Although, even if you’re engrossed to something else you can’t help but notice one thing. 

He never mentions Dinah.

And that gives you magnificent, dreadful hope.

.

.

It’s New Year's Eve, and you’re in an awfully good mood.

The party is in full bloom, the essence of joy and excitement wafting through the air, people dancing their worries away and laughing under the neon-lights (Ana really went all-in in the decoration department), having fun in what can only be a fitting welcome for a bright New Year.

The mulled wine has gotten slightly into you, landing you in that perfect spot between sober and tipsy, just enough to elevate your already high spirits. Besides you’re also celebrating finally finishing your book. It’s been a bitch of a struggle but finally, you’ve gone and did it. Finally booking an appointment with a publishing company that took an interest in you after reading one of your drafts you’ve previously sent them.

And well. Dinah isn’t here.

“I cannot believe I’m talking to the next Stephen King!” Hoseok yaps excitedly, throwing an arm around your shoulder, voice raised higher than normal due to the several “old-fashioned” he managed to throw back.

You grunt from the sudden weight as he leans a bit too much on your side to stand up. “Okay, step it down a notch, buddy,” you chuckle, patting him on the shoulder.

He thinks it over before-. “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?”

Your eyes widen, an involuntary laugh escaping you. “I said step it down a notch, not climb the whole mcfreakin ladder?” Hoseok giggles happily, before his eyes rest on the hostess, who’s currently talking to a coworker, gleeful smile in full bloom.

He waves at you to lean closer to him and you oblige. “See that girl over there?” he whispers to you conspiratory, pointing at Ana who seems oblivious to your conversation. You chuckle at his drunk antics but decide to appease him and nod.

A blissful smile takes over his lips. “Imma marry her someday.”

You barely keep your smile at bay. Honestly, Hoseok is whipped for Ana and anyone who doesn’t see that is blind, so it doesn’t sound weird coming from him. You’re willing to bet his wish is gonna come true someday. It’s just a matter of time.

Though you’re happy for your friends, you can’t let this teasing opportunity pass you by.

“Hey, champ, I got some bad news for you…” you press your lips together in mock-sadness and Hoseok’s face falls.

“She has a boyfriend,” you deliver the final blow and his eyes widen. Before he bursts into tears.

At least a couple of people stare at you, as Hoseok bawls his eyes out and you can’t stop cackling. Oh, god, you didn’t know he was this drunk, he was perfectly fine moments ago! Although to be perfectly candid, he has a low alcohol tolerance, so really this one is on you.

Ana shows up after a few seconds, worry etched into her features after seeing her boyfriend cry like a baby. “What happened? Are you okay?” she asks him, obviously more sober than him, but once she sees you laughing, her eyes narrow. “What did you do to him?”

You shrug, your expression being the poster-child for innocence. “Nothing! I just told him you have a boyfriend.”

This sends another wave of tears down Hoseok’s cheeks and Ana laughs incredulously. 

“Is it true? Do you have a boyfriend” Hoseok struggles to ask through his hiccups and Ana can’t repress the lovesick smile on her lips.

“Yes and he’s a giant baby.”

“Does that mean I still have a chance?”

Ana chuckles before pressing a kiss on Hoseok’s pouty lips. “It’s you, you dufus! Now, come on, let’s get you to lay down…”

“Really?” he says with the most childlike smile you’ve ever seen on him. And only seconds later it turns into a smirk. "Oh, I will lay down, I will lay down so hard that you-” he struggles to complete his sentence, “that you’ll want to lay down with me…”

You groan out loud, not ready for the scene to turn into an NSFW one. “Are you horny all the time?” you complain out loud and the couple raises their brows at you.

“...Already know the answer to that one. Thank you very much five years of living together!” you admit regrettably and Ana tsks you.

“Serves you right for having the nerve to terrorize the sun himself!”

“That’s me!” Hoseok points to himself with a proud smile and you press your lips together to stop the giggles from escaping as Ana rolls her eyes fondly at her boyfriend.

“I’ll get him to my room-” Hoseok finger guns her, winks and blows her a kiss, “could you please make him some coffee?” Ana pleads you as she struggles to push a drunk Hoseok down the hall.

“You got it, babe! I’m gonna roast this coffee so bad, it’s gonna go running to its momma!” you announce in the spur of the moment, but Ana just looks at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“Doesn’t work for me, does it?” Ana just shakes her head and you huff. “I’ll go get the coffee…”

You drive through the crowd, barely avoiding the drinks spilling left and right and finally reach the kitchen. Thankfully there’s only like a couple of people around, so you reach for the french press easily, adding the coffee grounds and warming some water in the microwave.

“Why on earth are you having coffee with so much alcohol around and why does that weirdly make sense for you?” Jimin enters your vision, resting his hip on the counter in a mirror of your stance and you have to take a breath.

His dark blue hair is slicked back, revealing the magnificence of his eyebrows (yeap, that’s another spot of Jimin you’re weak about). He’s dressed in all black; black jeans, black T-shirt with an open neckline, a leather belt hugging closely at his hips, a dangly earring gracing his earlobe and a silver chain resting against his glistening collarbones. He has been dancing and all you wanna do is dive in and bite at the skin of his neck, glinting welcoming under the dimmed lights.

Focus.

“Give me a break, it’s not even for me…” you joke back, just in time to cover up your little zone-out. Jimin stares back confused.

“Who then-?” he makes a sound of realization before he chuckles. “Hoseok,” he responds and you nod, a giggle already on your lips.

After Christmas eve, when you refused to even speak to him, things became less weird. It seems like the two days you spent actively avoiding each other helped in restoring the dynamics back to normality. You’re not even sure who made the first move but after a few days, you were back to normal, as if that thing on the couch never happened.

Maybe it is for the best to pretend it never happened. No feelings are going to get hurt this way.

“Yeap, Ana took him back to her bedroom,” you reply, moving to pour the water into the french press.

Jimin raises an unconvinced eyebrow as he hands you a mug. “And are you sure they’re not gonna fuck back there?”

You take the mug with an appreciative nod. “Honestly, they’re probably fucking right now on their way there. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. Maybe I’ll be scarred for the rest of my life walking into that and maybe I won’t.”

“And you’ll take those chances?” Jimin chuckles incredulously and you almost swoon at the way his smile lights up the room.

“This coffee won’t deliver itself!” you joke and Jimin’s smile turns bigger.

“Your service is greatly appreciated!” he says with an awful British accent and proceeds to laugh.

“Well, thank you good sir!” you play into it with a curtsy and both of you burst into happy, slightly intoxicated giggles.

Your eyes rest on the french press as the coffee grounds seep into the water and it’s like your lips have a mind of their own when they ask the following question.

“So, alone tonight?” you ask with fake nonchalance and you swear Jimin tenses.

You can’t help yourself. From the moment you realized Dinah was absent you wanted to know why. They’ve been dating for almost a month, so that means they’d still be all over each other, you figured they’d want to spend New Year's together.

So how come Dinah isn’t here?

Jimin nods, eyes absentmindedly following your fingers as they trace the marble counter.

“What happened to Dinah? Didn’t want to spend New Years with our ugly asses?” you joke, hoping to lift the tension off his shoulders and rejoice when Jimin cracks a smile.

“No, no. Actually, her friends are throwing a party too…” he simply says, not giving you another explanation even though something else clearly bothers him. You don’t ask further, figuring he’ll tell you if he wants to, so you move to press the plunger down and pour the brown liquid into the cup Jimin handed you earlier.

“And I actually didn’t …” he hesitates, biting his bottom lip.

God, this is straight-up torture.

“Didn’t…?” you urge him on, sensing his desire to say whatever’s bothering him.

He takes a breath.

“Didn’t have the need to invite her…?” he admits, eyes on the steaming cup of coffee, struggling to put his thoughts into words as you stare at him utterly confused. He didn’t have the need to invite her? Like, he didn’t care if she was here?

No, Y/N, don’t get your hopes up.

Jimin huffs, running a hand through his hair.

“I mean.. I didn’t want to.”

And you find him staring at you again, with those intense, magnetic eyes and your breath is sucked out of your lungs.

He didn’t want to invite her. Why? What does it mean? Why did he do it?

And why is he looking at you like that?

Did he-?

“Surprise!” a familiar female voice echoes through the kitchen as Dinah throws herself literally against Jimin, hugging his waist with an excited smile. No concern in her eyes over your panicked faces.

You don’t know if she heard your conversation but if she did, she doesn’t show it.

Jimin’s wide, panicked eyes travel between you and Dinah. “Dinah, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending New Year’s at Minoh’s?” he turns around to bring her forward and the intimacy hiding in the domestic action drives a knife through your chest.

“That party was boring as hell. And I missed you,” she says with a blinding smile and leans in to press a soft kiss on Jimin’s lips, ripping your heart in two.

You can’t stand this. You can’t stand to watch as she kisses him right in front of you and you feel like an outsider, glimpsing at something you long for but can’t have. Is it always gonna be this hard?

You swallow the lump in your throat, gripping the cup tighter and force a smile on your lips just in time for the couple to miss your crestfallen expression.

It’s time to get out of here.

“That’s great! You’re just in time to spend New Year’s together!” you exclaim with forceful enthusiasm and Dinah nods excitedly as Jimin looks at you with an indecipherable expression. “You’ll have to excuse me, I have to deliver this bad boy!” you smile, pointing at the mug and you start walking away, already waiting for the moment you don’t have to keep that smile on your face any longer.

That seems to wake Jimin up as his eyes widen. “Wait, Y/N, I didn’t-”

“Have fun at the party!” you interrupt him, keeping the smile on for a little longer, before you turn your back at them, smile disappearing, steps fast as you miss Jimin’s face filled with despair.

.

.

Your steps bring you back to the living room, already having delivered the coffee to Ana’s room. Although Jimin’s suspicions were correct and you walked into a scene you’d rather forget, closing your eyes to avoid any more damage on your retina, resulting in you leaving the couple with a half-spilt coffee.

Not that they’ll be needing it now anyway.

Stepping into the main area of the party you can’t help the sour mood that takes over you, watching everyone have a good time. You were also having a good time until Dinah arrived.

Which reminds you. What did Jimin mean back then? Was it just stupid you with your tendency to read way too much into things or did he actually mean what you wanted him to?

And if he did, why is he still dancing with her?

Your eyes are stuck to the couple in question, dancing in the middle of the living room as a mid-tempo dance track plays through the speakers, Dinah’s hands wrapped around Jimin’s waist as he sways her softly to the beat.

The night started out so well. You were having fun, for once all worries put aside as you didn’t have to think about the book or Dinah, or Jimin. You were happy.

But then someone decided to shit all over that happiness and you were back to the beginning. Having your heart broken by your best friend and he doesn’t even know.

You take a breath to calm the erratic beating of your cracking heart when you see a too familiar face emerging from the kitchen.

Oh no, what is Jaehyun doing here?

You move quickly, dreading to talk to him, hoping he won’t see you but, alas, luck was never on your side.

His eyes spot you all the way across the room, with numerous people in between like he has laser vision or something. A smile takes over his lips as he waves at you and begins walking towards you.

God, no. No, you can’t deal with him right now. He’ll probably want another date and you know he deserves to know the truth but you just can’t do it right now.

You’re quick to move to the balcony, trying to lose him through the crown but his voice keeps calling you even outside. You slip through the people and into the living room, stopping to see him briefly lose you as his eyes scan the balcony.

You escape into the kitchen, hoping he won’t look for you here and in your hastiness to hide, you fall face-first into Seokjin’s chest.

“Fuck, sorry, you need to move!” you say urgently, trying to hide behind the massive wall he calls his shoulders.

Seokjin regards you with a suspicious glare. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to hide from Jaehyun!” you bite through gritted teeth as your eyes scan the open area behind you. With relief you realise Jaehyun isn’t anywhere near, just a bunch of other people and Jimin talking with Dinah and Hoseok.

Your heart still clenches uncomfortably when Seokjin interrupts your thoughts.

“Why are you hiding from Jaehyun? Didn’t the date go well?” he asks you purely confused and with guilt, you realize you never told him nor Ana that you bailed.

You bite your lip. “I didn’t go…”

Seokjin’s eyes widen comically. “What?! Why?! I thought you wanted to!”

You groan rubbing your palm on your face. “I just… didn’t feel like it anymore! And now he’s here, looking for me and I don’t know what to do! Who invited him anyway?”

At that Seokjin has the decency to look guilty. “I may have seen him at the coffee shop and invited him… But in my defence I didn’t even know you bailed on him!” he looks at you with a scolding glare and another groan leaves your lips.

“Oh, shit here he comes…” Seokjin looks carefully behind you and you steal a glance to indeed see Jaehyun stepping into the living room and walking straight towards you.

“Okay, fuck, let me think…” you mumble in thought when you see something on the ceiling, hanging just a few centimetres behind Seokjin.

“Got it!” you exclaim, and when Seokjin doesn’t follow, you push him back so both of you stand right beneath the thing hanging from the ceiling and then you point at it, knowing he’ll catch the drift.

Seokjin’s eyes follow your fingers, only to widen in horror when they rest at what you're pointing at.

Mistletoe.

“No! No, no, no, I’m not kissing you so you can get rid of him!” he hisses, eyes swimming in denial and disbelief. But you narrow your eyes at him.

“It’s your fault he’s here! So step the fuck up Kyle!” you hiss back and Seokjin looks less than thrilled.

“Don’t quote vines to me, you heathen, I won’t hesitate bitch!” he responds and you know you’re halfway winning him over.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this…” you reply, mastering the perfect puppy eyes.

The sound of his favourite vine has him yielding in a matter of seconds, choking back a laugh before he rolls his eyes. “Fine. But we gotta hurry up, he’s almost here,” Seokjin relents, eyes falling behind you.

“Buckle up,” is the only thing you say before grasping Seokjin’s panicked face and press your mouths together.

You stay like that for a few seconds, simply pressing your lips together like an awful K-drama kiss though there’s no romantic music playing in the background. The kiss is at its best… underwhelming. That’s what you were lusting after all those years? It certainly doesn’t live up to the expectations.

You lean back, staring at Seokjin who barely manages to conceal his weirded out face. “Is he gone?” you whisper and Seokjin nods in relief.

“Yes, he’s gone…” he mumbles, letting out a breath as you let his face free and take a step back, finally breathing freely.

“Don’t ever do that again!” he exclaims, his words followed by a loud gagging noise.

“Anything for you Beyonce!” you say, sharing the sentiment and you grab a random shot glass on the counter, to wash out the feeling of Seokjin’s clumsy mouth on yours.

“We don’t tell anyone. We take this to the grave and live the rest of our lives feeling slightly awkward with each other. Sounds good?” Seokjin states with wide eyes and you laugh at his seriousness.

“Ay, ay, captain! Now take a shot with me to erase the memory for good!” you say, filling two glasses with tequila and you hand him one.

“To forgetting this ever happened!” he raises his shot and you follow his movements before downing the contents of the glass.

“Amen to that.”

.

.

Half an hour later, its time for the countdown so the New Year can officially begin.

The automatic clock on Ana’s TV screen reads 23:59:03 and you rush to gather your friends together in one place, so the New Year can find all five of you together as it has for the last four years.

The rest of the attendees also gather in groups; friends, couples, coworkers, newly made acquaintances but all shimmering with the vibrating delight to welcome the New Year and the opportunities that are bound to come.

Ana and Hoseok are already counting down the numbers - admittedly a bit too early -, and Seokjin passes you four tequila shots to celebrate once the clock strikes midnight. But then he’s left with an extra one and realization strucks you.

“Hey, where’s Jimin? He’s supposed to be here!” you yell to be heard amidst the loud chattering of the crowd, but your question remains unanswered when Seokjin shrugs his shoulders in loss.

Ana looks around to find said-man but it’s Hoseok that finally puts an end to the mystery. “Uh, actually he went home!”

Your eyebrows furrow, confusion apparent in your eyes. He’s never missed out on this! How could he leave? You always spent New Year’s together, the five of you, it was your unique tradition, one you’ve expected him to keep up with.

Maybe he was feeling a bit under the weather, you try to reason with yourself. Let’s not get mad at him before knowing the whole story.

“Wait, so he left without telling anyone? Is he okay? Did he even tell Dinah he’d leave?” you question back, aware of Ana & Seokjin’s wary gazes but you don’t bother to acknowledge them.

Thankfully, Hoseok still isn’t entirely sober to notice them either and start asking questions.

He just shakes his head at you. “Oh, no, they both left. Oh, the countdown’s started!”

As people begin shouting along with the voice on the TV you can’t help but stare aimlessly into space.

They both left. Jimin ditched you, all four of you to spend New Year’s with Dinah. Alone.

And it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

It shouldn’t feel as much as a personal attack but it does. He left all four of you but it still feels like he specifically left you behind. As if he doesn’t care anymore. Before all that the chance of the two of you ever happening was abysmal. But it was still there, however small. You were fine with that cause at least you knew he valued you as a friend.

Now, you’re not even sure of that anymore.

You should be fine with him leaving. You’re just his friend.

And yet the heartbreak is overbearing.

Seokjin looks at you carefully as Hoseok keeps counting down to one, entirely unaware of what just happened as Ana counts with him but her eyes are on you.

You give her and Seokjin a weak smile, before averting your eyes quickly to count as well, not bearing to see the looks of pity in their eyes.

You hate this.

The clock strikes midnight.

You’ve never felt more alone.

.

.

The next morning finds you exhausted when you wake up on Seokjin’s couch. You’re not sure you could handle going back to the apartment and having Dinah and Jimin across the hall from you. Hoseok was going to spend the night at Ana’s, meaning firstly he kinda gave Jimin the pass to run wild and secondly you couldn’t crash at Ana’s. Of course, she insisted it was okay but you didn’t want to cockblock her on New Year’s. So Seokjin offered his home as an alternative which you happily accepted.

You’re dreading to go back to your flat, though already knowing it’s an inevitable curse, you leave a note for Seokjin to find when he wakes up and then you leave his apartment.

On the way home, you wonder if you should trek over to the donut shop around the corner for some heavenly delicacies but then you’d have to buy Jimin and Dinah some. And that is simply something you’re not willing to do.

Hopefully, they’ll be both asleep when you arrive, too tired to be up at 10 am on New Year’s, so you’ll get your chance to quietly slip into your room and avoid everyone for the rest of the week.

Maybe even a month until those stupid feelings finally decide to disappear.

You try your best to be as soundless as possible when you unlock the front door. You enter the living room on your tiptoes, closing the door quietly behind you before moving to throw your coat on the hanger.

The moment you think you’re alone passes by quickly when you hear the door of the fridge being shut and immediately turn around to see Jimin staring at you with bleary eyes. His hair is a mess as he’s clad in a white T-shirt and grey sweatpants as his pjs, a cup of what must be steaming coffee on one hand as the other runs through his locks. You find yourself salivating.

“Where did you go this early in the morning?” his gruff voice comes out, purely confused and before you get to correct him, his eyes fall on your figure. And he realizes you’re still dressed the same as last night.

“Did you just get here?” he asks, his voice a tad too sharp and accusing to be considered friendly and your arms wrap around your middle protectively.

“Uh, yeah… I crashed at Seokjin’s… Too tired to come back after helping Ana clean up…” you joke, forcing a laugh to hopefully ease the sudden tension hanging in the air.

Though your airy laugh doesn’t reach Jimin. Instead, his eyes are fixed on the wall to his right, jaw tense in what seems almost as anger before he takes a quick sip of his coffee and slum the cup on the counter.

“Ugh… are you okay-?” your confusion is apparent in your voice as Jimin walks off the kitchen, down the hallway.

“I’m going back to sleep…” he mumbles through clenched teeth before he disappears inside his bedroom and closes the door with a loud bang.

You stare weirdly at his door, bewildered by his entire behaviour but you’re still too sleepy to let it get to you. So instead you opt for crawling over to your room and hide beneath the covers.

.

.

The days after New Year’s turn out weirder and weirder to the point of questioning your mental state.

Seokjin still feels somewhat awkward around you after the kiss but instead of avoiding you, as any normal human being would do, he actively seeks you out, clinging to you and following you around like a shadow, as if the over-exposure will help him get rid of the awkwardness faster.

True to your words, none of you have said anything about it to the others, so you were half waiting for everyone to be immediately weirded out by Seokjin’s sudden display of affection. But apart from Ana that gave you some scarce confused looks, the other two haven’t made a single comment, as if this is a completely normal situation. They barely blink when even yourself gets creeped out from Seokjin’s insistent coddling.

Which brings you to the other weird thing happening in the flat.

Jimin barely talks to you anymore.

You don’t have the slightest idea why. If you said something, or done something that offended him, you’re none the wiser. And how are you supposed to know when he barely greets you in the morning?

Every time you attempt conversation, there’s always something he has to do, which sounds completely ironic, given you were the one that kinda did the same before.

Not to cover your own ass but you did that for the sake of your friendship! If Jimin ever finds out you’re into him, you can’t bear to think the effect this might have on your friendship.

Whereas Jimin might as well be angry over such a small thing as you using his earbuds.

It wouldn’t have bothered you that much if it wasn’t for Dinah.

Well, she barely does anything, it's just that Jimin always goes to her when he has the chance. Nights spent with all five of you together munching on popcorn in front of the TV, turn into awkward gatherings as Ana and Hoseok pair up against you and Seokjin, leaving the two of you cringing whenever the couple does something too coupley.

At New Year’s Eve, he practically admitted he wasn’t that much into her anymore and now he’s always with her. Did he lie back then? And if so why?

Everything is wrong and you don’t know how to fix it.

If only Jimin hadn’t begun dating Dinah, none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have realised you liked him, he wouldn’t have spent so much time with her, he wouldn’t abandon the four of you for her.

Although, a small part of you screams you would’ve realised you liked Jimin either way. It wasn’t about Dinah.

And yet you can’t help the loathing that emerges like bile in your throat when you hear her name.

Or when Jimin, after two weeks of avoiding the rest of you, announces you are to throw a dinner so you can get to know her better.

You feel the headache splitting your skull open.

.

.

It’s nearly impossible to hide your sour mood once Dinah steps into the apartment.

A switch has flipped and where there was a smile from joking around with Ana, now there’s a permanent scowl on your face as you refuse to even acknowledge the newcomer, as she greets the rest of your friends.

Once she says hello to you too, you mumble something that resembles a greeting, not even bothering to look at her direction, as Ana regards you with a warning glare.

Deep down you know most of your attitude comes from Jimin’s behaviour these last couple of days, and Dinah’s direct contribution is only at roughly 10%. But you’re stubborn, immature and putting the blame on her seems like an easy way to cope with the situation and the hurricane of feelings swirling in your mind.

No one said it’s the right one. But for now, it’s what keeps you from hiding in your bedroom and wallowing in self-pity. Not that you won’t do that later.

You result in setting the table with Hoseok in silence, not really in the mood to talk, as everyone else sits in the living room and you catch glimpses of their conversation.

Seokjin and Ana talk about a new addition Seokjin wants to put on the menu of his restaurant, while Jimin and Dinah dally on the other side of the room.

You think you’re gonna barf.

“Ugh… Y/N are you okay?”

You turn around at the voice, surprised to see Hoseok stare at you with confused and worried eyes. Shit, did he sniff out something?

“Ah, yes! Why?” you put forward your most cheery voice in the hopes it will throw him off.

“‘Cause you keep stabbing the meat with the forks…” he comments carefully, leaning a bit backwards as his worry grows, once your confused eyes meet his.

And then you look back to the meat and, surely, all the forks you were supposed to pass around the table are stabbed into the steaks on the centre of the table.

Your eyes widen as you press your lips together in horror. God, why can’t you just behave for once?

You rush to remove all the utensils, dumping them into the sink and you pick out new ones, as Hoseok keeps staring at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m fine!” you respond with a clipped voice and you’re not sure what Hoseok hears in your voice but he drops it, in favour of placing the napkins around the table. Though you can still feel his weirded-out stare from time to time.

Once the table is set, Hoseok calls for everyone to gather around and one by one flock to their seats.

And as you put the finishing touches, you can’t help but hear Jimin’s conversation with Dinah.

“We have ice cream for dessert, you’re gonna love this one, it’s heavenly!” he says with excitement.

“Oh, only if it’s vegan, me and regular milk don’t go along…” she jokes and as Jimin says he’ll have someone check, an idea pops into your head. A petty, childish idea but it gives you some purpose for now.

So, she’s lactose intolerant? It would surely be a shame if she were to eat normal ice cream.

And by “shame” you mean hilarious.

The little voice in the back of your head berates you for acting so immature but at this moment you desperately need this. You can be salty for one evening.

What’s the harm?

.

.

Once everyone’s plates are empty, the lot of you migrate to the living room, as you stay in the kitchen to get the ice cream out of the freezer.

Jimin told Ana to ask you to check for the ice cream some time ago, -can you believe it, he didn’t even ask you! He had to talk to Ana for god’s sake-, and you did. But just as you’d suspected it wasn’t vegan.

So your plan is good to go.

You have Seokjin help you carry the bowls of ice cream to the living room and you pass each one around as they’re expected with excited noises.

Ana almost moans at the delicious flavour and Hoseok chuckles at his girlfriend’s antics as you sit next to Seokjin and dive straight into your own bowl.

During dinner it seemed everyone got along just fine with Dinah, talking and joking together as if she’s been a part of this group for a long time. And it bothers you even more.

You also recognize her attempts to get close to you as well but really you can’t be bothered. It comes to the point where she talked to you and all you did is give her a one-word answer before turning your attention somewhere else.

Though right at this moment your attention is solely on her as she takes a scoop out of her ice cream.

“Mmm, it’s really good!” she says excitedly to a smiling Jimin, as she swoops in for another spoon.

But after a few seconds, her eyebrows scrunch in confusion, as she keeps the ice cream in her mouth, looking as if she’s trying to figure out something. You can barely contain your gloating.

“Uhm, this ice cream is vegan right?” she rushes to say, eyes growing just a bit wider with what seems like panic.

Ana turns to look at you and you answer with the most innocent look you can manage, acting like you just realised you didn’t.

“Oh, oops! I guess I forgot to check, sorry! Why, are you lactose intolerant?” you respond in the first complete sentence you’ve given her tonight, internally gloating at her misfortune.

She swallows, her eyes widen even more, traces of fear growing in them. “Ugh, no-”

What does she mean no?

“I’m allergic.”

At once every conversation ceases, all eyes resting on her, wide in shock.

Fuck.

Jimin is the first to react.

“What?! Shit. Are you okay, should we take you to a hospital?” he asks in panic, placing the ice cream as further away from her as he can while you’re left staring at her in horror.

“Well, since I can feel my tongue thwelling, I thay we thould,” she comments shaking, losing the ability to pronounce the letter “s” as more time passes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you struggle to say, full of remorse, but no one seems to hear you as the situation goes haywire.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen!

Seokjin is immediately on his feet. “I’ll drive you there, you guys clean up here okay?” he commands urgently and as you feel the guilt overwhelming you, you stand up form your spot in an instant.

“I’ll come with!” your voice trembles as you reach for your bag while Jimin and Seokjin help Dinah out of the apartment hurriedly.

But as soon as you speak Jimin’s furious eyes are on you.

“I think you’ve done enough.”

And then he slams the door behind them.

You’re left staring at the piece of wood with trembling eyes, as Ana and Hoseok simply stare at you, Hoseok’s eyes wide in shock as yours while Ana’s are filled with disappointment.

You. Fucking. Idiot.

.

.

It’s almost four hours later when Jimin and Seokjin return, finding only Hoseok in the living room waiting for them as he asks them how it went.

But Jimin doesn’t bother answering him as he instead marches with loud, angry steps towards your room.

On the other side of the door, your nails are nearly non-existent from all the nervous thinking that has plagued your mind for the last few hours. Your texts to both of them asking how Dinah was, were left unanswered and you were left brewing in your own nerves.

Until the door opens and Jimin walks in.

You freeze in your spot once your eyes meet his and see the undecipherable expression on his face.

You only manage to mumble a guilt-ridden “hi” and he closes the door behind him as he closes his eyes and takes a deep, calming breath.

Although it seems to not do much.

“What the fuck, Y/N?!”

Your answer is immediate, full of regret. “I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Is she okay?” you ask, out of your wits with panic as you wait for him to answer.

He seems too tired, too exhausted as he responds. “They gave her an antihistamine, she’ll be fine,” he says with a sigh but then his eyes are full of rage as they rest on you again. “But do you realize what might have happened if we were a bit late?! She could have died!” he yells at you, voice full of unbridled outrage as his eyes grow even more with the passing of time and you feel smaller and smaller.

“I’m sorry!-” you repeat again, feeling incredibly awful with what you’ve done, “-I thought she was just lactose intolerant, not allergic!” you say in hopes of redeeming yourself even just a bit but maybe this wasn’t the right thing to say as it seems Jimin’s anger only grows.

“This isn’t the fucking point, Y/N!”, you flinch at the volume of his voice, “The point is you've been trying to sabotage this for weeks! You think I haven't seen the side-glances and the mocking giggles?! I fucking know you don’t like her but couldn’t you just pretend for my sake? Do you have to go to such lengths to let us all know you hate her?!” he spits at you with wild eyes and you fight the urge to wrap your arms around your frame.

“I didn’t poison her on purpose…” you mumble in explanation and your eyes stare at your feet, not daring to look at him, drowning in shame.

“No, but all the other things were!” he refutes with impatience, but then he sighs. His shoulders fall down but his jaw’s still clenched. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? I know what she did better than anyone, believe me, but people are allowed a second chance, and frankly, it’s not your place to decide if she deserves it or not. All I was asking of you was to be decent towards her because I was stupid enough to think you’re my friend above everything and you’d respect my wishes!” he confesses, face crest-fallen and what you once feared, -him looking like this because of you-, has finally come true. You can feel your eyes watering but you can do nothing to stop them.

“I am your friend!” you respond desperately with pleading eyes, trying to stop him from questioning how much he means to you. If only he knew exactly how much.

“Are you really?”, he questions back, “Because the rest of the guys are my friends too and they don’t have a problem with her. It’s just you! And if you can’t accept her and be happy for me then…” he stops, eyes falling on the floor, refusing to meet your gaze and you have an awful feeling blooming in the pit of your stomach.

“...Then we’re better off as just roommates,” he delivers the final blow.

You can’t believe your ears. There’s no way, no way.

You feel your throat closing up. “...You don’t mean that…” you mumble in denial, eyes blurry and voice almost breaking at the possibility of losing your best friend.

Jimin still refuses to look at you, his lips pursed as he shakes his head. “Yeah? And you said you’ll support me no matter what so I guess we both said things we don’t mean.”

“Or I guess that was just you,” he says in a final tone, eyes serious this time on you before he turns towards your door to leave your bedroom. To leave your life.

You can’t breathe.

“Jimin-” you manage to stutter out although you feel like choking. You can’t lose him, you simply can’t.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he snaps back but stops himself before saying anything else, pressing his lips together.

Then he takes another breath. He collects himself and before you manage to stop him, he closes the door on his way out with a loud bang.

And you can’t move. Your eyes simply stare at the door, refusing to let any tear drop and you purse your lips, feeling a mixture of stubbornness and sorrow.

He left. How could he? How could he push you aside for her?! You’ve been friends for a little more than five years now and he ruins your friendship because of her?! Her?!

You rush to lock the door behind him with blurry eyes, putting the blame on him as for now you need this to stay sane.

Tomorrow you’ll know that everything was your fault.

But for now, you choose to believe otherwise.

You step back from your door, crossing your arms on your chest in defiance.

“If he doesn’t want to be friends then we won’t be!” you exclaim in an attempt to salvage your broken ego but once those words are out of your mouth, once they finally feel real, you can’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

You have to cover your mouth to drown the sound of your sobs.

You can’t let him hear.

At that moment there’s a knock on your door, before “Y/N? It’s Seokjin, can I come in?”

His voice is quiet, calm, reminding you that he and Hoseok probably heard everything. You can’t deal with it. You can’t deal with any of it.

“Go away, Seokjin…” you mumble with a low voice in order to hide the fact you’re crying.

You hear him sighing. “Come one, at least talk to me-”

“Go away!” your voice is coarse as you yell back, for a second not realising it was you. You know you're gonna regret yelling at him later, but you just want to be alone.

There’s silence on the other side. Then the echoing steps of someone leaving.

And then you break down in the middle of your room.

Alone.

The only sound coming from your quiet sobs.

.

.

{Jimin’s POV}

Keep it together. Don’t lose focus now just because she looks like she’s about to cry.

It’s easier said than done, but Jimin manages to remain focused on what he came here to do. Even if it’s just barely.

He can’t go on like this. Maybe if you were happy for him and actually supported him, things would be different. But when you act like a spoiled baby that didn’t get her wish with no excuse whatsoever when you were supposed to be okay with Dinah… there’s not much he can do.

Not when your behaviour acts as a false beacon of hope. One he can’t afford to see. Otherwise, he might do something he can’t take back.

He’s got to be firm and decisive.

So he turns around to leave before he takes it all back.

“Jimin-” he hears the breaking in your voice, knowing how much this may weigh you down but all he can feel right now is unfairness. It’s unfair how he wants to move on but with one single word he finds his resolve crumbling.

You shouldn’t affect him this much.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he begins but stops himself. What was he about to say? Something he shouldn’t, probably.

Still, you stop talking. And you just stare at him, with disbelief written in your eyes. He avoids those in favour of staying true to his words.

There’s no saying what he’ll do if he meets them.

So, he simply leaves your bedroom.

Marching through the small distance between your door and his, he can see Hoseok and Seokjin, from the corner of his eyes, staring.

They probably heard everything.

He steps into his bedroom, closing the door behind him, needing some space. To calm down, to take a breath, to finally think about what he just did.

You looked like you were ready to break down at any moment.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been that harsh with you. Maybe he was a bit too hasty, too vengeful in making that decision.

Someone knocks on his door.

What if it’s you?

His steps can’t take him to his door any faster.

But it’s just Hoseok.

“... what?” he hears himself get defensive once he sees your door still closed shut behind the other man.

Hoseok stares at him with understanding. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Jimin…” he comments with a soft voice, always knowing how to approach Jimin when he’s angry, better than anyone.

Jimin sighs, still feeling stubborn but he knows by the end of what Hoseok has to say, he’ll almost certainly listen.

“... Let’s talk about it okay? I’m sure Y/N wants that too…” at those words Jimin swears he feels a small pinch of pain on his chest. He wishes they’re true.

“Seokjin is also gonna talk to her…”

But those words manage to bring his stubbornness back full force.

There’s a chuckle coming out of Jimin but none of it sounds happy.

“Of course he will…” he snaps at Hoseok, who bites his lip once he realises his mistake. “Yeah, Hoseok, I think I’ll pass,” the bitterness is evident in his words, not bothering to hide it from the one person that knows the cause of it.

Hoseok’s eyes widen once he realises Jimin is about to close the door on him. “Wait, Jimin, don’t-”

“Goodnight,” is what Jimin simply says before closing the door on his best friend.

.

.

He can’t be sure when everything began to change. He can’t place a finger on the exact moment his feelings had changed.

On the exact moment, he fell in love with you.

Was it the moment you walked through the door as a roommate applicant? He can’t be sure. But somewhere along the way, the feelings bloomed, outgrew everything he ever felt for anyone.

He just was a bit late at realizing it.

When he woke up after you slept together and his eyes rested on you as you slept, he felt a pain in the middle of his chest. But it didn’t feel like a regular pain, it felt like his heart was expanding like he was experiencing growing pains. Because while he stared at you, he realised there was nothing else he’d rather do. You looked so serene, so at peace sleeping next to him, he never wanted the moment to end.

And that’s how he realised.

Of course, he had to push his newly-found knowledge aside when he saw you nearly going into panic mode. Just because he felt like this, didn’t mean you did too.

So he hid those feelings, playing it cool for the sake of being your friend.

But this shit was difficult when he was surrounded by you twenty-four-seven.

Right before Seokjin’s birthday he had sworn he’d finally tell you. He thought that maybe, just maybe you’d like him back, or at least he’d get to have a weight lifted off his chest.

But then he saw you hugging Seokjin…

He wasn’t trying to spy on you or anything. He was just trying to reach the bathroom when he saw you wrapping your arms around Seokjin. Around the guy you had a crush on for the past few years. It was like a stab to his stomach, even more so when he knew you weren’t really into hugs and when you did hug someone, it usually meant a lot to you.

Jimin couldn’t believe his eyes. He also couldn’t believe how much it hurt and how much he needed something to distract himself.

Or, rather, someone.

That’s how Dina came along.

He never intended to string her along this far though. At that night she was just a distraction, someone familiar who knew how to take care of him, despite everything that had transpired between them in the past.

But Dinah kept trying, kept fighting vigorously for that second chance and he couldn’t help but acknowledge how much she’d changed over the past year. So he let her back into his life, hoping that at least she’d help him forget about you.

And it worked for some time. Until that night.

Until the night you were supposed to go on a date with Seokjin and cancelled it because of him - he’s sure of it even if you vehemently denied it back then-. The night you were dressed on that tight, little, black dress, the one that reminded him of that night eight months ago and suddenly his mind was going haywire with thoughts, or rather, memories of you.

He swears he saw hunger in your eyes when his palm was on your thigh, scorching both of you at the connected spot and if it wasn’t for Hoseok’s interruption, he was sure he’d’ve lost control.

Jimin hates to admit it but that night he kept thinking of you, of your eyes, of your lips, of the way your thighs had fit around his waist back then, of the sound of his name falling from your lips as he touched himself, trying to drown his moans onto his pillow.

He couldn’t talk to you after that for a couple of days. Too ashamed, too embarrassed, too enamoured with you, he thought you’d be able to see right through him.

But once things got back to normal, they were ruined once more.

Dinah appeared at the worst of times at New Year’s. He was so close to letting you know how he feels, encouraged by your reaction when you ditched your date for him, which was another green light for him at the moment. But Dinah showed up and you were out of there before he even got a chance to explain.

Hoseok had found him then, drinking away his sorrows.

“And the worst of all is, she’s dating Seokjin, which I now realise makes me a big jerk and an awful friend as I keep trying to steal away his girlfriend,” Jimin mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.

Hoseok seemed perplexed but that might have been from the near-alcohol-poisoning he just had before Dr. Ana “nursed” him back to health. “And remind me, how are you sure she’s dating Seokjin? They haven’t told us anything yet…”

Jimin stared into his drink, already sort of tipsy on alcohol and self-pity. “Saw ‘em huggin’...” he mumbled behind the glass. Hoseok had to do a double-take at that.

“What?” Hoseok responded in disbelief. “That’s it? Dude, I do that with Seokjin all the time, that doesn’t mean I’m dating him!”

Jimin sighed in annoyance. “It was more than that okay? There was this feeling to it! I could tell it wasn’t just a simple hug!” Jimin groaned as he rubbed his face with his hand.

Hoseok rolled his eyes at his friend. “Still you can never be sure by just a hug! Have you talked to her?”

“No, I tried to but Dinah came in and she left as soon as she saw her…” Jimin admitted and Hoseok almost laughed out loud at his friend’s idiocy.

“Bro, if that isn’t a sign to talk to her, then I’m not dating the most bomb person in the whole ass world.”

Jimin wasn’t impressed as he cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

Hoseok wasn’t deterred. “I can see you have an objection here and it’s a complete disgrace to Ana’s name, so Imma pound you to logic city later, you limp dick, but right now you need to talk to Y/N!” he concluded as he shoved Jimin out of his stool.

Jimin groaned as he stood up, but as his eyes fell to the bottom of his drink, he realised Hoseok was right. He should’ve talked to you first. Maybe he had misunderstood and there was nothing going on with Seokjin.

And right then as he saw you bumping into Seokjin, he figured it was a great opportunity to find out what was happening between the two of you from both parties involved.

But as his steps got him closer and closer, he saw you kiss him.

He froze. He couldn’t look, couldn’t bear, but still, his eyes stayed glued to the both of you as your arms circled around his neck to press him closer.

Jimin felt like vomiting.

He turned around right then and there and walked away. He needed to get out of there. He gave Dinah a half-assed apology as he also sent her on her merry way and he left for his apartment. He couldn’t even tell Hoseok why he was leaving the party, only announcing his departure and disappearing.

It was the first time in years he spent New Year’s alone.

He hated it.

.

.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’ve done the worst sleep in ages.

You rub your eyes, immediately regretting it when the slightest touch has them stinging from how swollen they are from all the crying.

Right. It wasn’t just a dream.

You drag your feet begrudgingly across the floor to the bathroom to splurge some water on your face, in a futile attempt to calm down your puffy eyes. Before you’re off to the kitchen where Hoseok is currently eating his breakfast cereal.

Once he hears the sound of footsteps, he raises his head, only to see you awkwardly walk in the kitchen, eyes downcast as you go for the fridge.

“Hey,” you hear him say.

With your face facing the inside of the fridge you take a breath, letting the low temperature calm you down.

You knew it was coming. Hoseok definitely listened to everything along with Seokjin. And yet you don’t feel like replying.

Nonetheless, you turn around and acknowledge him with a tilt of your head as you move to have the coffee machine working.

“So… How you feeling?”

The question prompts a humourless chuckle out of you and Hoseok sighs in response.

“I know, that’s a lousy question. I just…” he takes a breath, eyes gentle on you, not at all judgemental as you’d expect them, after what you’ve done yesterday, “I mean I know Jimin’s side of the story, but I never heard yours…” he concludes, letting a soft smile take over his features.

Huh. Your side of the story.

You swallow the lump in your throat, but the words don’t come out. Instead, you resolve to looking down at the floor as your hands grab tightly at your empty cup.

Hoseok, sensing your hesitation, sighs resigned but he doesn’t push you on it.

A moment passes when both of you remain silent until your coffee is ready. You pour the liquid into your cup, almost moaning in relief you don’t have to stay here another second.

But before you get to leave Hoseok speaks up again.

“I know things may look like a mess right now but I’m sure this won’t be the case forever. Jimin… yeah, he’s mad but you're his best friend. He’s gonna change his mind soon…” Hoseok’s gentle words reach you and, oh god, how do you want to believe them.

You turn to look at him and see the hope written in his eyes.

You give him what might have resembled a smile if you weren’t feeling so beat-down.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me Hobi…” you whisper and Hoseok’s face falls just a bit at how broken you sound.

“Things will change, I’m certain of it,” still he replies, eyes full of determination that make the slightest sliver of hope go through the cracks of your sorrow.

Right then another pair of footsteps echoes as Jimin walks into the kitchen.

His sudden arrival has you both freeze, eyes resting on the newcomer and while Hoseok keeps on looking at Jimin, you’re quick to avert your gaze, the lump in your throat growing.

A second passes where Jimin doesn’t move forward or backwards. Like he isn’t sure if you could be in the same room anymore after yesterday's events. Your heart pangs at the thought.

He coughs awkwardly.

“I didn’t know you were awake, I can come back later-” he begins softly, eyes avoiding yours as well, making the pain grow a little sharper.

“No, it’s okay, I was done anyway…” you interrupt him, hands gripping tightly at your steaming cup as if it is a life board.

And without another word, you’re out of the kitchen.

.

.

{Hoseok’s POV}

A week passes by and it seems there’s no hope for reconciliation on the horizon.

Both of you went the extra miles and rearranged your schedules to avoid each other as much as possible. Jimin spends nearly every night at Dinah’s, barely seeing the others and you spend days locked into your room under the pretence of writing, but really you’re just avoiding everyone.

The rest of the guys don’t know what to do anymore.

It’s a Friday afternoon when Hoseok is over at Ana’s place, the mood in his apartment too heavy to bear and he can’t bear this anymore.

“Babe, I’m back, they didn’t have any vinegar chips so I bought oregano instead. Can you imagine the disgrace?” he shouts as soon as he steps back into the apartment, after a small walk to the seven eleven down the street.

But instead of hearing his girlfriend’s welcoming back, he hears her sigh. Then he sees her walk around the corner from the kitchen with her phone pressed to her ear like she’s in a conference call.

“I still don’t understand why won’t you just tell him!” Ana speaks on the phone, sending a tired wave to her boyfriend who looks at her entirely confused.

Hoseok just takes his shoes off and plops himself on the couch, sensing Ana won’t be done with that phone call anytime soon.

There’s a silence from her side as she listens intently to what the other person is saying. Hoseok decides to open the bag of chips just to keep his hands occupied.

After a while, Ana talks again.

“But what if she doesn’t tell him?” she? First, she mentioned a “him” and now a “she”? Hoseok’s getting more confused by the second.

“And what about Jimin then? Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?” her voice is stern, like a mother berating her child and a sound of understanding leaves Hoseok’s lips, as he concludes Ana is talking to you.

There’s a small silence from your side, indicating no response to Ana’s question and so she keeps talking.

“And I’m talking about the whole truth Y/N.”

Hoseok’s intrigued. What whole truth?

“I know I was the first person to be against telling him about your feelings but with how poorly you handled the situation, I don’t think you can possibly make anything worse!”

At that, Hoseok’s eyes blow wide open. Feelings?! What feelings?! 

He’s immediately up, approaching Ana with quick steps as she listens to your response. Your voice, even though muffled through the phone, sounds weaker, sadder. Disheartened.

Ana’s words are softer now. “But you’ll never be able to do this. You’ll never be ready but, the truth is, no one ever is. That’s kinda how it goes and that’s okay. But you gotta do it at some point, sooner or later,” she talks to you calmly, Hoseok sensing her sorrow at hearing you like this.

But he can’t shake the feeling that he can somehow help if he finds out what those feelings are.

Ana sighs tiredly as if what she just said didn’t have much of an impact. “Y/N-” but before she gets to respond you hang up.

Ana gasps while staring at her phone. “She just hung up on me, I can’t believe it, how dare?” she says to no one in particular as she rubs her hands on her face tiredly.

“Tough luck?” Hoseok comments wrapping his hands around her waist. Ana welcomes the embrace, her hands winding around his neck as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“She just won’t listen! She’s so infuriatingly stubborn and it’s driving me nuts!” she blows a stray hair out of her face, accidentally tickling Hoseok’s skin in the process and he chuckles.

“Kinda like you then?” he teases as he finally pushes that stray lock behind her ear and she pokes out her tongue at him in retaliation before falling into peaceful tranquillity.

Hoseok hates to disrupt this but he has to ask her what all of those things meant. For the sake of Jimin.

“Hey, babe…” he begins and Ana hums in acknowledgement.

“When you talked about Y/N’s feelings…” he feels her stiffen in his embrace but nonetheless he carries on, “... what did you mean?”

Ana takes a breath. “I guess there’s no point in not telling you now…” she speaks softly before taking another breath, one Hoseok holds until he hears her answer.

“Y/N… she likes Jimin. Well I mean that’s what she says anyway. I think it’s way more than that…” Ana admits sadly but Hoseok’s mind goes into overdrive.

“Are you serious…?” he asks in what can be perceived as a calm demeanour but in reality, his head is about to explode.

Ana chuckles calmly, still in Hoseok’s embrace. “I know right?”

Oh my god, they’re both idiots, he thinks. But he has to do something now.

“Oh god, those giant baboons!” he almost yells, making Ana flinch and take a step back to look at him perplexed.

“Hoseok…?”

He laughs incredulously as he takes a step back, trying to process the situation.

“For how long?” he asks and Ana looks more weirded out by the second.

“Two months, give or take?” Ana responds with narrowed eyes.

Hoseok chuckles. “That’s…” when Jimin started going out with Dinah, of course, it all makes sense!

“Seriously our friends are the worst idiots ever!” he complains once more.

“Okay, now do you mind telling me what’s going on?” she retaliates, getting irritated with her boyfriend and his tendency of not explaining anything for the dramatics.

“Jimin likes her back!” he shouts out loud, the magnificence of what he found out too overwhelming to bear.

Ana’s eyes widen. “What? How can that be? What about Dinah?”

Hoseok narrows his eyes at her. “He began dating her again after that one night stand that only happened because he saw Y/N hugging Seokj- Wait! What about Seokjin?”

Ana seems confused. “What about Seokjin?”

“Isn’t Y/N dating him?”

Ana almost bursts out in giggles. “What? No! Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Cause of the hug!”

“So what, a simple hug means automatically they’re dating each other?”

“Well, we all know Y/N hates hugs, plus she had a crush on him so it would be believable- Wait, that’s not the point. So Y/N isn’t dating Seokjin?”

“Nope. Never did,” Ana concludes as both of them fall into the same realization.

“So Jimin did all that stuff…” Ana begins, not quite believing the absurdity of the situation.

“...Because he thought Seokjin was dating Y/N,” Hoseok admits tiredly.

“We gotta tell Jimin,” Ana grabs her phone to punch in his number before Hoseok stops her.

“Wait…” he stares at the phone, the cogs in his mind whirling before his eyes light up.

“I got a better idea.”

.

.

{Jimin’s POV}

Sweat still drips down his forehead as Jimin bids goodbye to his students, after the end of his contemporary class. He reaches for his water bottle and heads for the teachers’ lounge where his stuff is before he gets to his last class.

He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand before pressing the now lukewarm bottle on the nape of his neck, to get some sort of relief.

Once again, his focus wasn’t entirely on the class. It has been like that ever since your fight, but at least it started getting better as time passed. Still not at its best though.

He finds himself feeling guilty more than he thought he would. Guilty towards you, towards Dinah. It’s a mess.

Admittedly, he was really mad at you but as he got to think it over, he realised he acted too rashly in cutting you off. And he misses you already.

But the thing is… you haven't made a move to reconcile either. That could be because you’re afraid of him pushing you away again. But shouldn't you make the first step? If you did, Jimin is sure he would forgive you on the spot.

He shakes his head tiredly as he enters the teachers’ lounge and reaches for his backpack. Everything’s a mess.

And then there’s Dinah. Dinah who’s changed, who’s kind and understanding. Dinah who he strings along and who’s possibly already aware of Jimin’s use of her as a distraction. They both know that, even though Dinah’s changed and everything’s seemingly fine, the relationship is doomed this time around as well.

Although this time it’s Jimin’s fault.

He needs to come clean to her. He has to end this.

Right then his phone begins ringing.

Once he sees the contact name, he’s a little less willing to answer it.

“What do you want?” is his response once he picks up and there’s an awkward chuckle at the other end before the caller finally replies.

“Whoa, okay, forward, can’t you buy me a drink first, champ?” Seokjin tries to make the tension disappear unsuccessfully, resulting in Jimin not even answering that particular quip.

He hears Seokjin sigh on the other side, before “Anyway, can’t I just call my friend to see how he’s doing? It’s been a while since the last time we talked…” the other man admits cautiously and Jimin’s defensiveness slowly ebbs away to give place to additional guilt. He’s the one blowing off all his friends because he wants space. Or more precisely, he thinks, because he’s a coward, too afraid to really deal with the situation, so instead picking the easy way out, at the expense of his friends.

He rubs his face with his hands, before letting out a breath. “Yeah, I know, things have been kind of…” Jimin trails off but Seokjin hums, as if he understands what Jimin means without him having to say it out loud.

“Yeah…” Seokjin agrees quietly and Jimin feels more horrible as time goes by. When did he begin to feel such animosity towards his friend? They used to be really close ever since they worked together at the same shift, and now Jimin can barely be in the same room as him. It’s not Seokjin’s fault in any way and the truth is Jimin’s animosity arises not towards Seokjin but more towards himself.

He has stuff he needs to work on.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” comes Seokjin’s response that has Jimin sitting up straight in his seat, terrified of what his friend wants to talk to him about.

And it seems his fears were not unjustified.

“How long have you liked Y/N?”

There it is.

Jimin takes a breath, panic trying to take over him but he wills it to go away and answer his friend. Even if he’s terrified to do so.

“I…” he begins, audible shakiness colouring his voice, “... how do you know?”

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Hoseok told me…”

Jimin takes another breath, one full of guilt.

“Look, I… I’m sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did! And I know it’s awful of me to have done this but, yeah, for some time I had thought of acting on it. But now that I know for certain you’re together, I wouldn’t even dream of-”

“First of all, Y/N and I are not together.” Seokjin interrupts the babbling idiot and Jimin stops mid-sentence.

He blinks, uncertain. “I… what?”

Seokjin sighs with a chuckle. “Y/N and I aren’t dating,” he repeats.

Jimin opens his mouth like a fish, in complete and utter shock. “But… but I saw you…” he states full of doubt, almost like a question.

He can almost hear Seokjin raising his eyebrow. “You saw us doing what?”

The lump in his throat doesn’t make this any easier. “I saw you kissing a-a-aand-and hugging!” he retaliates, trying to support his reasoning.

Seokjin sighs once more, the gesture coming off him naturally by now. “Okay, she kissed me because she wanted to avoid a dude she ghosted, I had little to no say in this!” Seokjin responds in a typical Seokjin fashion.

But Jimin has more questions. “A dude she ghosted?”

“Yeah, she was supposed to go on a date with this guy in my restaurant but blew him off for some reason…”

Wait.

“When was this?” Jimin asks, eager but nervous to find out the answer.

“A couple of days before Christmas.”

So that wasn’t a date with Seokjin but just a rando?

God, Jimin has fucked up big time.

“And what about the hug?” he asks for the last time, to make sure he resolves any misunderstanding.

“What hug? Oh, you mean on my birthday? Dude, that was just her coming clean about her past crush on me and us moving past this like a couple of adults.”

Jimin’s throat constricts uncomfortably but in unbelievable hope. “Past crush?”

Seokjin’s smile is nearly audible. “Yeah, “past”. Know why? Because she has feelings for someone else.”

And just as easily as Seokjin has given him hope, he just as easily rips it away.

“Oh…?” Jimin barely manages to utter, voice almost breaking alongside his heart. “Who?”

Seokjin groans on the other side, taking Jimin wholly by surprise by the irritated tone in the older man’s voice. “Oh my god, you really are both idiots,” he says almost to himself, “You, you soggy tit! Do you really think she did all that to Dinah simply because she didn’t like her? No, she was fucking jealous!” Seokjin concludes, voice rushed and angry to berate his friend and finally put an end to this huge mess.

But Jimin hears only one word.

You.

She has feelings for you.

The girl he’s been in love with for nearly a year now, if not more, has feelings for him. Reciprocated feelings.

Is this real? Is this a fucking dream from which he’ll wake up in the morning, feeling shittier than ever?

But Seokjin said she was jealous. Jealous.

“She- She was? Seokjin, just���” he stops himself to take a calming breath, refusing to believe this just yet, “Please, don’t joke about this, I’m not gonna laugh,” he warns his friend. He can’t bear to have his heart messed with any more than it already has been.

“Does it sound like I’m joking? Believe me, I wouldn’t, we’re all too invested in your shit, it’s not healthy.”

Jimin can’t believe this. He wants to, desperately, but what if it’s not real? What then?

“I…” he swallows his nerves, “She really has feelings for me?” he asks, not unlike a hopeful child. God, his heart is about to burst.

“Yeah, buddy, I know it’s hard to believe when I exist!” Seokjin tries to lighten up the mood with a joke.

Jimin doesn’t laugh.

“...Too soon? Sorry, anyway, I thought you should also know Y/N really feels awful for everything and if there’s one thing that can confirm that, is the fact she apologized to Dinah,” Seokjin concludes carefully.

Jimin doesn’t know how to respond.

“But if you don’t believe me… Ask Y/N herself.”

But he knows what to do.

.

.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’re washing the dishes, alone at home for another hour at the very least as Jimin’s classes end in one hour.

Should you go to Ana’s? Ugh, but Hoseok is there.

Maybe you should just hole yourself up in your room for the scarce time Jimin will be here before he’s off to Dinah’s.

Which reminds you of earlier today.

In Dinah’s defence, she handled your apology quite gracefully, in contrast with you. You were a babbling mess, trying to put your thoughts into place and at first, she was suspicious of you, but once your visit made sense, she seemed to understand. Something even you couldn’t at times.

She accepted your apology with a calm smile, confusing you even more as she said she appreciated your effort to put all of this behind you.

You were glad she seemed to not hold it against you although, honestly… you don’t think you deserve it.

You have no idea if she’s planning on telling Jimin or not and quite frankly you’re terrified of what he’ll say if he finds out.

Once you’re done with the dishes and close the tap, you hear the front door open and close, assuming it’s Hoseok back from Ana’s.

“Hobi, is that you?” you ask before turning around, only to almost choke on your own breath when you see Jimin instead.

He’s standing just in front of the door, not going forwards or backwards, as his eyes stare at you. Serious, careful but calm. No anger residing in them. Just awkwardness as he seems to not know what to do with himself, as he simply rests in place and somehow a tiny drop of hope begins to bloom.

“I… Don’t you have classes?” is the first thing you manage to get out of your mouth and he takes a breath.

“I had to get out early…” he responds and you can’t help but focus on the “had to”. Did Dinah talk to him after all?

“...Why?” is your careful question, when in reality your mind is in a state of disarray. Is this a good sign? A bad one? Is he here to restore your friendship to what it used to be or finally cut ties with you and move out?

Your mind is gonna short-circuit.

“I…” he begins, eyes falling to the floor. Then he takes another breath. “I had to talk to you,” he says.

Oh god. This is it. You’re done.

Your throat closes up as you blink quickly trying to stop your eyes from welling up. Damnit, you already cried so much about this, you shouldn’t have any more tears left!

He takes a tentative step forward, eyes finding yours once again. But they look… soft, tender. Apologetic.

“I… I’m sorry. For the way I acted,” he breathes out and your eyes widen, having to do a double-take to make sure you heard right. “I was too harsh on you, basically taking out my nerves on you and even though what you did was awful, I shouldn’t have taken such drastic measures. I took it too far by saying we shouldn’t be friends and I’d like to take it back if you want to…” he concludes, observing you cautiously.

You’re left staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Is he serious? Did he just apologize to you like he was the one at fault?

“Jimin, oh my god, you shouldn’t have to apologize, I should!” you rush to say, instinctively grabbing his hands to soothe him, completely missing the taken aback turned loving look in his eyes.

“I acted way out of line and truth be told I think I needed that as a wake-up call. You were right, what kind of friend am I if I don’t try to get along with the girl you’re dating?” you continue, too self-conscious to be able to look Jimin in the eye, instead staring at your joined hands with a new kind joy.

You got your best friend back. And if keeping him means you have to bury your feelings for him, then you’ll do it. For real this time. Whatever it takes to not lose him again.

Jimin chuckles in response. “Used to date,” he corrects you.

This time though you can’t help it when your eyes snap back at him. “What? What do you mean?”

Where you expected to be a sorrowful expression, there is none. Instead, Jimin is looking at you with a soft smile, a serene one, one that matches the peace in his eyes. “We broke up,” he says and you can’t find the proper words to react to this.

“Oh… H-how so?” you say instead, unwillingly holding your breath.

Jimin’s eyes rest on your face for a moment, that damned smile still gracing his lips, before his eyes fall to your hands. “I guess you helped me realise some things with what you did,” is his cryptic response.

But before you get to question his answer his eyes turn stern, with a note of mischief hiding in their corners. “That does not mean what you did was okay, though,” he says, pointing his finger at you like a teacher disciplining a child and you chuckle at his attempt of lightening up the mood.

“Believe me, I know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself…” you respond, rubbing a hand awkwardly at the base of your neck, still awfully aware of your other hand still connected to Jimin’s.

“Well…” he says quietly, his eyes on your joined hands, “Good thing I did then…” he mutters, his thumb running over the back of your palm soothingly and once your eyes meet his, you know you’ll be okay.

.

.

After that talk with Jimin, -that ended with the both of you watching Space Jam and cuddling to sleep-, everything is once again back to normal. The past week has been amazing compared to the one before it. You find yourself smiling all the time as your friendship with Jimin is back to its prime, laughter and joy returning to your shared apartment.

Your group returns back to its routine, hanging out together in front of the TV, roasting Hoseok for his abundant sexual energy, you know, the usual.

And yet you feel like something’s changed. More particularly, with Jimin.

You catch his eyes on you more than once, more than what could be considered normal but ever since you made up the two of you haven’t been left alone once. The guys are always around and, really, it’s not like you don’t want them to be but there’s always something hanging from Jimin’s mouth, something he wants to say but never does due to their presence. It’s slightly unnerving, reminding you of that night outside your bedrooms when he wanted to say something but didn't.

You can’t tell if it’s good or bad. All you know is suddenly your knees shake when he looks at you for too long and you have goosebumps whenever his skin touches yours.

So that’s why tonight you chose to sit on the lone armchair as he sits next to Hoseok on the big couch and Ana is placed next to Seokjin on the small one.

Somehow the conversation managed to go on that New Year’s party and Seokjin ended up spilling about your kiss.

“You said “we take this to the grave”!” you respond with a low voice, trying to mimic him unsuccessfully as Ana and Hoseok stare at you with eyes wide as saucers. Jimin, for some reason, looks unresponsive to the news yet he laughs at your bad impression of Seokjin.

Seokjin at least has the decency to look guilty as Ana’s scandalized eyes turn to you. “You kissed?!”

You raise your hands in defence, for some reason avoiding to look over at Jimin. “I didn’t do it on purpose! Well… I kinda did but not with the motive you’d assume,” you rush to explain, though Ana is less than satisfied.

“Oh then with what motive? Please amuse me, hoe,” she responds, crossing her hands on her chest and you huff out in annoyance.

Seokjin answers her. “Well, obviously, she wanted a piece of all that. I’m pretty irresistible to all humankind,” he jokes lightly and you suppress a snort.

“Yeah, no, this ain’t it, chief,” you rush to say, suddenly nervous, not wanting anyone to think you’re still into Seokjin.

Actually, replace “anyone” with just “Jimin”.

Seokjin gasps in offence. “What in the world do you even mean?! You’re lucky I kissed you and not just because you got rid of that dude! I’m a pretty good kisser, no scratch that, I’m an excellent kisser, a connoisseur of kissing if you will!”

“I think I won’t be able to kiss anyone after that…” Hoseok responds which makes Seokjin gasp once more before he looks over at you.

“Y/N, tell them the truth. How my kissing is so utterly magnificent, it could end world hunger!” he says before actually hearing what he just said then deciding against it, “Nope, can’t do that, sorry, that’s on me.”

You chuckle at his antics, although a bit reluctant to actually reveal the truth.

“Actually…” you start.

Another gasp resonates. “Don’t “actually” me! Just tell them!”

You turn to the other guys with a roll of your eyes.

“Look, it’s not like you were a bad kisser per se. It’s just that it was a bit… lackluster?” you finish, almost afraid to see Seokjin’s reaction to the reveal.

Jimin suppresses a chuckle, Hoseok oohs from the side and Ana’s eyes widen in surprise.

Seokjin looks at you with disbelief.

“Lackluster?”

You rush to make amends. “I mean it’s okay given I took you by surprise, but due to that crush I used to have on you, I had this notion of a kiss full of passion. And that one just… didn’t have it.” 

Seokjin pouts angrily at you before crossing his arms on his chest as Ana pats his shoulder soothingly. “I can’t believe you just said my kiss didn’t have any passion.”

You shrug. “Well, it didn’t,” you say as a matter of a fact before Ana jumps into the conversation.

“It’s probably a good thing your kiss didn’t have any passion, it just means your friends. No chemistry there so don’t beat yourself up too much, champ,” she says with an affectionate pinch on Seokjin’s cheek, who ponders on her input.

“Yeah, Ana is right!” you rush to agree. “It’s because we’re just friends! When you find someone you really like, believe me, it’ll be nothing like that,” you go off track a bit as certain memories reappear. “It’ll be full of passion and yearning and not getting enough of each other, you’re not sure if you can go on without kissing them!”

And somehow by the end of that, your eyes fall on Jimin’s and stay there.

Because he stares back.

“Okay, I think we heard enough about Seokjin’s kissing techniques,” Ana comments, breaking the spell and your eyes fall to your lap, fire residing in your cheeks.

“I just have one last comment on what I think Seokjin could’ve used but didn’t cause he’s a wuss,” Hoseok jumps in.

“Tongue.”

A round of gagging noises is heard around the apartment.

.

.

The hours pass by smoothly and soon everyone’s getting sleepy. Seokjin leaves early, having to go to the restaurant first thing in the morning, leaving the rest of you to clean up.

Once again Jimin picks up the trash with Ana as Hoseok helps you do the dishes. The apartment falls into a comfortable silence with the occasional chatter between the four of you while you clean up. Hoseok is to sleepover at Ana’s so when you’re all done the couple bids you goodbye, heading to Ana’s apartment.

Leaving you and Jimin totally alone.

Which is something that shouldn’t scare you but for some reason your nerves are going through the roof.

“Are you done with the kitchen?” Jimin asks from the living room, where he’s rearranging the pillows on the couch.

“Yeap! Just finished!” you call back, your voice a bit higher than usual and you cringe internally before clearing your throat.

“Good, I’m going to bed then,” he responds as you walk out of the kitchen.

“I’ll walk with you,” you respond with a smile, following him into the corridor.

You walk in comfortable silence, but still, you find yourself getting nervous as you walk side by side. It doesn’t make any sense.

Once you reach your bedrooms, both of you turn around to face each other, seemingly unwilling to depart just yet. Jimin looks at you with a soft smile as you grab at the opportunity to talk to him.

“Jimin, I just… I’m really happy we got past that and again I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused,” you say in what seems like the hundredth apology this week.

Jimin’s smile grows fonder as he shakes his head gently. “I told you, you should stop apologizing, I’m no longer mad at you,” is his quiet reply as he tilts his head, his eyes staring at you in a way it makes your heart race.

“I know I just… That week we spent not talking to each other was the worst week of my life and I…” you pause searching for the right words, but no words could ever describe the magnificence of what you’re feeling right now, the desperation of wanting to have him in your life. So you simply stare at him, out of breath, hoping he gets it.

His smile is one of the best things you’ve ever seen and you know he does.

You smile back. “Anyway, I’ve gotten too sentimental…” you chuckle, clearing your voice to sound more collected.

Jimin giggles softly. “Happens to the best of us…” he responds gently and you have to remind yourself to not stare. Even if he does and it makes you feel out of breath.

You nod with a smile. “Well…” you respond nervously, yearning for the moment you’re alone in your room, free of all this tension. “Goodnight,” you say simply, turning around to get to your door.

But a hand wraps itself around your wrist, turning you around suddenly. Your hands naturally fall to Jimin’s chest as his palms wrap around your waist and hair as his lips fall fervently on yours.

Your mind goes into overdrive and you can only kiss him back.

His plump lips wrap around your own softly but with an intense sense of urgency, a soft gasp falling from your lips as your hands are quick into grabbing his shirt to pull him unbelievably closer. You respond with just as much hunger, letting your mouth move fervently against his own, pushing more and more against him, aiding his hand that’s tangled in your hair, gripping the locks as if he can’t get enough. Then both of his palms are on the small of your back, holding you close as if fearing you’ll leave. But you never do and that makes him press more against you until your back hits the wall next to your door.

The impact makes Jimin lean back just enough to stop the kiss, but his eyes still remain glued to the image of your swollen lips, as you almost lean after his own.

Your heavy breaths mingle in the otherwise quiet corridor, his hands still on your waist, yours still on his open shirt as you try to wrap your mind around what just happened.

“Did you mean something like that?” comes out his gruff, deep voice that sends a shiver down your spine.

His question brings you back to the earlier conversation about a perfect kiss and you can’t control your breathing any more than your beating heart.

You nod quickly, eyes still on his lips. “Yes,” is your breathless answer.

Jimin’s still breathing heavily as his eyes land once again on your lips.

“Good.”

And then he’s kissing you again.

And, fuck, you can’t get enough.

Your palms land on his neck as you stand on your toes to reach him better and his hands wrap around your waist to keep you in place.

Fuck, you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you back. As if he’s a man starved of your kiss and he needs anything you can give him.

But then he stops again and you almost groan out loud.

“You need to stop doing that…” you exhale with an affected chuckle and he chuckles as well.

“I just… I need to talk to you before anything else happens….” he whispers and even though you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you can’t help but feel a pang of fear in your chest.

“I…” he says, eyes dazedly looking at your face before he takes an encouraging breath.

“I want you to know that this isn’t like last time. It’s more, it means more, I-” he stops once more, voice trembling as he refuses to look anywhere else but you.

His words give you hope but for the first time in weeks, you welcome that hope. You welcome that glorious feeling to settle deep in your chest because you recognize that warm glint deep in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he reveals and you swear your heart will burst. There’s moisture in your eyes but you will it to go away.

“You are…?” you ask with a small voice and Jimin smiles at you, all happiness and comfort. There’s a fuzzy feeling in the middle of your chest and at this moment nothing makes any more sense than you two.

“Yes. And I spent the past year trying to run from it…” he admits carefully as he slightly crouches down to meet your eyes.

“I’m not running anymore…” he concludes, a spark in his eyes and you’ve never seen him more sure for anything in his life.

There’s a whirlwind of emotions in you. Relief, hope, undeniable joy. It makes your throat close and for a few seconds, you can’t answer him. You only stare back and hope he understands like so many times before.

“I-” you manage to choke out with a weak voice but he’s quick to shush you, before kissing the inside of your palm.

“I know…” he responds softly, still holding onto your palm as his eyes find yours. You can’t look away, couldn’t if you wanted to.

And then you can’t stop smiling, and he’s smiling back and before you know it you’re kissing again.

Happiness rolls like a current between, from all the places your bodies touch, you can’t contain it so you keep on kissing fervidly, hands touching whenever they can, mouths moving in tandem like it’s natural. Like it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

“God, I have so much I want to tell you…” he whispers against your lips before he’s diving back in, tongue reaching out to meet yours.

“Me too…” you reply after a few seconds, pushing him closer as your fingers tangle in his hair. “But not now…” you whisper sternly, pushing your chest against him, needing to feel more of him.

He curses under his breath, the sound sinful, licking his lips before he’s kissing you again and his hands fall lower down your back to rest over the swell of your ass.

You moan in appreciation when his hands grab at the tender flesh, making you arch out so he has better leverage. There’s a throbbing between your legs and you resist grinding on him just yet, to drag it out as long as you can.

Jimin’s lips move down the column of your throat as his body cages you against the wall, hands keeping your hips still as he wedges one leg between yours, so his thigh can press upright against your mound.

You moan again when he leaves a particularly deep hickey on your skin and your hips instinctively roll against his thigh, your hands holding on to his back afraid you might fall.

He chuckles darkly against your skin. “Still into thighs I see…” he mumbles before biting softly at your earlobe, a shiver running down your spine.

You bite your lip before, “Correction, still into your thighs…” you admit as you roll your hips slowly on top of his thigh, starting to feel that delicious warmth building up in your stomach, making you feel dizzy.

Jimin almost bucks into you with a low moan, as his hands are certain to leave marks on your hips as he struggles to remain sane.

“Fuck… Although I’m really tempted to just fuck you here, we should probably move…” he murmurs between kisses to your collarbone and you have half a sane mind to agree. The other half is already picturing him doing it either way.

But before you get to move, his arms are quicker, lunging under your thighs and you instinctively wrap them around his waist with a surprised yelp. His palms are resting right on top of your ass, subconsciously pushing you closer, making your insides burn in anticipation.

There’s a smirk on his lips as he licks them, eyes roaming your face to make sure you don’t have second doubts. Although your eyes are glued to the movement of his wet tongue.

When he realises this, he’s quick to move towards his room as you choose now as the perfect moment to lick and suck bruises on his neck, not able to deny yourself any longer.

“Shit… Y/N, if you keep this up I’m gonna drop you…” he mumbles with a stern but clearly-affected voice and you smile in victory before softly biting at his skin, savouring his taste on your tongue.

He kicks his door open before he carefully lays you on his bed, lips immediately after your own as you reach for his neck to desperately press more of him against you.

Your palms move down his chest, grabbing the edges of his flannel to push it off his shoulders, leaving him in his T-shirt and jeans.

“Why are you wearing so many clothes…?” you ask breathlessly, immediately reconnecting your lips like a woman starved and Jimin chuckles, grabbing the hem of your T-shirt instead and pushing it upwards. You sigh in relief as soon as your heated skin is free, yearning to feel more of his skin against yours.

“Just trying to keep myself warm,” he comments rushedly as he discards the piece of clothing somewhere behind him and his eyes fall to your covered breasts. He curses, lowering his face to kiss down your collarbones until his lips reach the bare top of your tits. His mouth leaves a wet trail behind that’s making you gasp as your thighs rub together to gain some relief.

Jimin notices and chuckles darkly before biting your bottom lip. “You want any help there?” he teases and you groan out loud with a pout.

“Yes, but please take your clothes off a little bit faster. It’s making my dick soft,” you whine, bucking your hips towards him.

He pins them down between his own legs, forcing them to stay still. His fingers toy with the waistband of your leggings as your breaths turn heavier while only looking at his eyes.

“Aw, so I won’t have my ass rawed by your dick? Such a shame baby…” he teases once more with a sinful smirk and the last word has your eyes rolling back into your head.

“Fuck, say that again…” you murmur, arching your chest upwards as you feel moisture gather between your legs, just by the single mention of a nickname.

Jimin laughs out loud as he moves to get your leggings off and you’re quick to aid him. “Is this really what turns you on?” he comments playfully as he leans in, lips kissing the underside of your jaw.

“No, I meant…” you stop, suddenly self-conscious, “... the other part…” you mumble quietly, turning your face to the side, knowing a deep red has taken over your cheeks. It’s not simply about the nickname or the tenderness in his voice as he said it. It’s about what it represents, what you already heard from his lips but you simply can’t have enough of. It makes everything real.

Jimin regards you for a second before, “What? Baby?” he asks, rather innocently and yet you still can’t look at him, too embarrassed as you nod.

Jimin’s eyes turn softer as he bites his lip to contain his smile. Fuck, he’s so in love.

He moves to press a tender kiss to your jaw. “Baby,” he repeats slowly, before resting his lips on your collarbones and you sigh in content. “Baby…” he says again, leaving a kiss in the valley between your breasts, making your breath hitch. “Baby…” he moves lower, dragging his plump lips down your torso as your breaths quicken, the sound of the nickname having your heart making somersaults.

“Baby…” he whispers lowly one last time, the tone completely different, darker, more promising. His eyes rest on you as his face now lays above your panties. Then his hands are hooking behind the waistband, dragging the material down your legs and he bites his lips at the sight of your glistening folds.

“God, I wanna taste you so bad…” he says almost to himself and before you get to react, he hooks your legs on top of his shoulders and his tongue lands with kittenish licks on your clit.

An involuntary groan escapes you, bucking your hips into his mouth for more. And yet he maintains his pace, sending waves of pleasure up your body but never enough to get you where you want to. You can’t help the movement of your hips as you crave for more friction, his movements delicious but never enough. Jimin pins your hips down, tsking you before he presses a kiss at the junction between your thigh and cunt.

“You’ll get what you want, baby, all in due time…” he says sternly, his voice low, sending shivers down your spine as his mouth returns to your clit, and you bite your lip to drown your moan.

Though now, he leaves aside the kittenish lick to wrap his mouth around the swollen nub and suck it between his lips.

A loud moan breaks free from your lips, heavy pants resonating as his plush lips envelop your clit, finally giving you more, moving expertly against your folds and your hands find purchase on Jimin’s locks to press him more against you.

He lets you do as you please while one of his hands travels up your torso, pushing your bra’s cups down to toy with one of your nipples.

The added pleasure has you cry his name in ecstasy, losing all control of your hips as they move against Jimin’s face, as if they have a mind of their own, chasing after your high like a madwoman.

And as one hand tugs at your erect nipples, the other finds this chance to move down your body and trace around your entrance, making your pussy clench in anticipation. Before finally pushing two digits inside your velvety walls.

“Jimin!” you almost sob, your hips furiously chasing after your high as you feel the warmth building up more and more inside your stomach. 

His fingers keep thrusting inside you, slowly at first to let you get used to the intrusion, before he picks up the pace, moving them quickly, roughly inside you. Knuckles deep as his fingertips find that little soft spot inside your walls that has your eyes roll to the back of your head.

And when you open your eyes and see Jimin staring you back with darkness and lust in his own from between your legs, the band snaps.

You come with a loud moan, riding your orgasm against Jimin’s tongue, as the pleasure seems too much, too intense. But then the feeling starts to fade away and Jimin lets you relax as he leaves butterfly kisses against your thighs.

You try to catch your breath as Jimin’s kisses move upwards, up your stomach, to your breasts until he’s kissing you again. Your hands move to wrap around his neck, never having quite enough of him.

“This is not fair, you know…” you chastise him playfully, kissing his underjaw when a quiet moan rolls from his tongue.

“What’s not fair?” he asks, trying to keep up with the conversation but judging by the way his hip rut against you, you know he’s struggling.

“The fact I’m completely naked while you still have your clothes on…” you observe with a cock of your eyebrow and a smirk grazes his lips as his finger tugs at the elastic of your bra and lets it snap against your skin.

“Ah but you’re not completely naked…” he teases against your lips as his fingers move down your body in a sensual caress.

But being you, you take that as a challenge. So you push him slightly away just so you can move your hands behind your back and unclasp your bra with one movement.

Jimin’s eyes go wide as you flick the undergarment across the room, swallowing heavily before his eyes return to your bare chest.

“Now I am…” is your witty retort as you subtly arch your back just so he can have a better view. He stands there staring at you for a few seconds before he curses and moves quickly to get rid of his clothes.

You giggle at his impatience when he ends up stuck in his T-shirt, sporting an adorable pout. “Easy, baby, I’m not going anywhere…” you joke, sitting up to help him take off his t-shirt with a soft smile, one he reciprocates as he moves to unbuckle his pants.

“Well, it wasn’t me getting too impatient to- Wait…” he stops mid-sentence after taking his pants off. A spark of realization has entered his eyes before he turns to you to meet you with a teasing smile.

“Did you just call me baby?”

Your eyes widen in shock as a blush creeps into your cheeks and with a scoff you lightly shove him for daring to make fun of you.

“Y-you said it first, genius!” you try to justify yourself with a frown, but Jimin’s smirk only grows as he pushes aside his pants and crawls towards you.

“Yeah, but I’m not the one that spent more than half her life refusing to call her partners that because it’s cheesy…” he comments playfully as he traps you beneath his body once more.

“Even if the rule never applied to her…” he smiles teasingly at you, brushing his lips softly against your pout, reminding you that even if you never called your partners “baby”, you never stopped them from calling you that.

You purse your lips together as you look at your fidgeting hands, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “Well…” you begin, swallowing the lump in your throat, “...you’re different…” you mumble quietly, not really ready to look at him even if you know he feels the same.

That has him halting, and as he sees you too uncomfortable to go on, he doesn’t say anything else. He presses a soft kiss to your knee instead, wishing to convey everything he feels as well through that small kiss.

The movement of his lips on your skin is so tender that has your heart flutter and, while he looks back at you, his smile puts your embarrassment to rest. Because he’s here for you because he feels the same.

“I know it comes a little late but… Can I kiss you?” he asks softly, eyes stuck on your face, tracing your features as if he hasn’t really seen you before, not until now.

The question has your heartbeat quicken even though it’s completely unnecessary. Though your lips stretch out in a smile as you nod.

Jimin leans closer, eyes on your lips as if he’s under some spell. You suppose it’s the same you’re under.

You let his lips envelop yours gently, hands tangling in his hair as you both find yourselves moving back until you’re lying down with Jimin on top of you.

Your hands are greedy to explore his body, even though you’ve done so before. Though that time you’re main motive was to get off, so now gives you the perfect opportunity to get reacquainted with his body, to map out every little detail to memory, until he’s the only thing you see.

His lips move lower to kiss and bite at the column of your throat, eliciting the sweetest moan from your lips that sound like music to Jimin’s ears.

Your breaths get quicker, hands moving recklessly to get rid of the remaining piece of fabric that separates you. Jimin rushes to help you, throwing away his boxers, now standing in his complete naked glory.

There’s nothing else to say, not really when a single look can convey everything you feel without unnecessary words. And the way Jimin looks at you right now makes you feel like you’re in heaven. Like you’re cared for, safe and content right here in his arms.

His hand brushes a lock behind your ear and the motion is so tender, loving, it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Are you ready?” he whispers softly, eyes gentle, ready to back off if you say so, reminding you of yet another reason you’re so helplessly in love with him.

You simply nod, too afraid to talk but your smile is all it takes for Jimin to go forward.

He grabs the base of his shaft, eyes glued at that spot between your legs with anticipation. He moves forward, guiding his tip through your folds, going slowly in case it’s painful but the look of pure bliss on your face and the way your walls welcome his cock has him losing control and going the rest of the way in with a deep thrust.

Your nails claw into the skin of his back with a loud cry while Jimin breathes deeply against the skin of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

“Fuck, I-...” he exhales, lost in the feeling of your pussy wrapping around him like a grip. “... You okay?” he says breathless, eyes searching yours for anything that’s not okay.

A breathless chuckle escapes you as you press your lips on his jawline. “More than okay. But please move.”

“Oh, thank god….” he mumbles before pulling out and thrusting in again. His movements are slow, yet the perfect pace to help you build up slowly but surely towards a second high.

Jimin rolls his hips with the expertise only a dancer could possess, driving his cock deeper and deeper with each roll, hitting that spot again and you can’t help but close your eyes to savour this feeling.

Shallow breaths leave you as his pubic bone brushes against your clit with each motion, driving you crazy.

“Ugh, you feel… mm’ so good…” he mumbles between thrusts, letting his lips land on your breasts, to suck lovebites on your skin.

“Jimin, fuck…!” you cry out, high-pitched moans escaping you as your hands go to his ass, coaxing him to drive his cock even deeper.

He growls from above your chest before you feel his palm cupping your cheek. “Open your eyes for me, love…” he mumbles quietly and you have no choice but to comply.

Opening your eyes, you’re met with Jimin’s piercing ones, staring at you intensely, burning with unspoken feelings that are too easy to recognize. After all, you feel them too.

You move to the side to kiss the inside of his palm before you smile at him.

He smiles back fondly at you before his hands move to lace his fingers with yours at each side.

“Keep your eyes on me, love…” he whispers before moving again.

This time around, his pace is slightly quicker, his cock hitting your sweet spot with renewed vigour and yet you can only concentrate on his eyes. His eyes that stare at you with such fondness and love it makes your eyes water.

You see the frown on his face before he stops moving in concern, yet you push your heels on his ass to keep him going.

“No, it’s okay, I’m okay, keep going…” you say, almost choking with the emotions overwhelming you. “It’s just that… I can’t believe I’m so lucky…” you admit softly, an unbelievable chuckle escaping you as you stare at him with what you hope he sees as undeniable adoration.

He smiles at you again, -you think you’ll never get tired of that smile-, before he leans in to kiss away the stray tear that flowed free from your eyes.

He picks up the pace once more, resting his forehead on top of yours, as shallow moans roll off your tongue. Your high keeps approaching, you can feel it and still you’re only focused on his eyes. Soft grunts escape him as he drives his hips into you, getting closer to his high as well, his hands grasping yours as if they’re a lifeboat.

He brushes his lips gently against yours before “I love you…” he mutters against you and you think your heart is gonna burst.

You press another kiss on his lips before, “I love you too.”

And then you don’t say anything else as your high approaches and after a few more thrusts you both come entangled in one another, each other’s names on your lips.

You lay like this for a few moments, with Jimin’s body on top of yours as both of you struggle to catch your breaths. Then your eyes find each other again and everything seems so clear, so right.

You can’t stop smiling at each other like lovesick fools as you fall asleep next to each other, at last content.

.

.

When Jimin wakes up the next morning he thinks it was all a dream.

But as his eyes rest on your peaceful sleeping form he knows he could never dream something as perfect as this.

He can’t help the lovesick smile taking over his lips as he looks at you through sleep-ridden eyes. He shuffles closer, resting his face on his hands to get a better look while you sleep soundly next to him. He feels like he can never get enough of you. Not now, not ever.

Suddenly your body begins moving though your eyes remain closed and Jimin figures you’re still asleep.

“Stop being creepy…” you mumble with a sleepy smile and Jimin grins too, realising he was wrong.

“I’m not being creepy…” he argues softly, still smiling. You pop open one eye to look at him unimpressed before you yawn and open both your eyelids.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause it’s super romantic staring at me while I’m asleep, where can I find another man like that…” you tease him with a drowsy smile as your eyes find his.

He groans dramatically though his smile still remains. “You’re unbelievable…” he mumbles, his voice still gruff from sleep and you have to suppress a shiver before shuffling closer.

“I know but you love me…” you mumble against him before kissing his lips slowly. He lets himself get lost on the kiss before you lean back and he licks his lips to savour your taste.

“And now you can’t take it back!” you exclaim out loud before smiling mischievously at him.

Another groan breaks free from his lips. “Already regretting it…” he comments, checking your reaction from the corner of his eyes.

You gasp as if offended by his quip. “Well, maybe then I’ll just leave so you won’t regret it anymore!” you respond, gathering his sheet on your chest as you make a move to leave his bed.

But Jimin is faster, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you back on the bed, crawling on top of you with a predatory smile.

“Now, now, let’s not result in desperate measures…” he dives in for another kiss.

You can’t help but smile again as you kiss him, hands circling around his neck as he softly bites your bottom lip.

“Careful sir. You might trigger something dangerous here…” you whisper seductively, moving one leg so your thigh can rub against his already half-hard member.

Jimin’s smirk only grows. “Mmm, maybe I like danger…” he responds before his lips envelop yours once more. His hands travel beneath the sheet, tracing your skin before they move lower and-.

A loud bang echoes through the apartment, surprising both of you before a booming voice is heard through the walls, one that belongs to none other than Hoseok himself.

“Have you fucked yet or nah?!”

Your eyes widen, face immediately growing red. Jimin looks at you with an apologetic smile and before you get to ask why Hoseok is asking that, said man bursts into the room.

There’s a sudden explosion of sounds, you screaming as you hide beneath Jimin, Jimin cursing at Hoseok as he pulls the sheet to cover you both and Hoseok whistling at the image before him.

“Woah! You finally did it buds, I’m so happy for you!” he cheers you on as he steps inside to fist bump a very angry looking Jimin and a very visibly confused you.

“Hoseok, excuse my french, but what the fuck are you doing here?” Jimin is positively seething with his friends' interruption but as you see Hoseok basically beaming at the both of you, you can’t help but giggle at the absurd situation.

“I came to see if my buddies finally worked it out! And you did, finally! Can you imagine if you hadn’t and I’d burst through the door screaming that? That’d be awkwaaaaaaard!” he comments, too cheerful to notice Jimin’s deadly stare and you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“Right. That would’ve been awkward…” Jimin comments sarcastically though Hoseok still seems oblivious as he sits on top of the bed with a happy smile hanging from his lips.

You’re about to burst into giggles as you watch Jimin’s eyes growing wider in disbelief and you’re certain he’s gonna kill Hoseok any minute now.

“I’m so happy for you guys! My besties are finally dating!” he comments full of joy and Jimin is about to have smoke pouring out of his ears.

“Hobi, we’re happy too but I think it’d be better for you if you left…” you comment with a smile, pointing with your head at Jimin who’s about to lose it any second.

Hoseok’s eyes widen finally in realization. “Oh, whoops! Right, right, I’m leaving, keep going, stallion, show her how it’s done!” Hoseok throws finger guns at Jimin as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

As soon as Hoseok is out of earshot and you turn to look at Jimin you can’t help but burst into giggles by how absolutely mad he looks.

Though when you start laughing, Jimin’s incredulous stare turns to you. “Why are you even laughing?!”

Even though his ominous stare is directed at you, you can’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just too funny!” you say breathlessly through your giggles.

“Too funny?!” he asks incredulously before his gaze turns dark. His eyes have your laughter dying in your throat and instead another feeling rising up at the pit of your stomach.

“I’ll show you funny…” he whispers sinfully before he lunges forward and you forget what you were laughing at for the rest of the day.

There are more important matters to tend to.

[brattyfics]

Cape Disappointment | Part One

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Black!OC [Chantel Williams]

Summary: Miguel doesn’t rescue a damsel in distress because Chantel Williams is not a damsel in distress.

Warnings: None yet.

Chantel Williams was a lot of things. Quirky, witty, sarcastic. Condescending, impulsive, sometimes even chaotic. She could be all those things and more, but she refused to be anyone’s victim.

“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m not a damsel in distress…” She chanted over and over in a low tone. 

On the side of a low traffic road, snow raining down on her head, Chantel willed the words to be true. Unfortunately, she remembered very little of what her Papa taught her about cars, eyeing the confusing parts under the hood with frustration.

Papa was a school teacher but he worked as a shade tree mechanic on the weekends to be able to afford dance classes for little Chantel. Teaching was his passion through and through. He would talk her ear off in the car on the way to recitals or while she did homework on the bench in his workshop. Being a bratty kid, she learned to tune him out when the topic didn’t interest her and not for the first time she regretted not soaking up more of Papa’s wisdom before he passed. 

If she had, maybe she wouldn’t be stuck on the side of the road with no solution in mind. Empty handed and no closer to fixing the car, she shuffled through the snow. It wasn’t much warmer inside the car despite the thick North Face coat she wore with a matching hat and pair of gloves. She was sure she resembled a wet dog as she shook the snow off, not wanting the ice to melt into water droplets that would surely sting. 

Just a week earlier, she’d splurged on the fanciest new smart phone after losing the older model at a dinner party. Even with all its promised features, it was useless. No signal and no nearby WiFi networks to connect to meant she couldn’t call her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend for help even if she wanted to. She couldn’t even call a tow truck! 

Pride. 

Another one of Chantel’s many traits. She liked to think of it as a positive thing. It kept her from being desperate, saved her from being dependent on others for her happiness. No one else seemed to agree her pride was a good thing. 

Among the naysayers was her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend, Adam. Pride was what had led her to take off from the Yurt they shared on their week-long winter break getaway to race back to her industrial loft in the heart of Seattle despite the weather advisory. She would never admit it to anyone else, but she realized her pride didn’t always serve her well. 

If not for her bruised ego, it would have been funny that her car had chosen to break down a few miles north of Cape Disappointment State Park. It was where she had been staying with Adam. The yurt was too far away to walk back to in the snow but still close enough that it only made sense to stay there for the night once the car issues were resolved. She wasn’t looking forward to ending the night with him. 

Remembering Papa’s belief in God showing up when most needed, Chantel sent up a quick prayer. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to wait long for someone else to come down the otherwise deserted road. Winters in Washington were fairly mild so she wouldn’t lose her extremities to hypothermia or anything crazy like that, but she’d certainly suffer by way of the shivers. 

Any sane person was cuddled up next to the fireplace in their cabin with a bowl of chili, or participating in heat-inducing sexual activities in their yurt to keep warm, not on the road driving. It was only natural for her thoughts to snowball into all the types of un-same people she could run into. 

Indigenous women from Washington and Canada went missing far too often on roads just like the one she had so conveniently broken down on. Chantel had a bad habit of researching everything there was to know about topics when they peaked her interest and she knew too much about human trafficking in the area to not feel a considerable amount of fear. 

“That would be my luck.” She muttered meanly to herself, resolving that whatever happened would be her own fault. 

It wasn’t like a whole lot of people would come looking for her anyway. She had a large group of friends in Seattle, but she kind of had a reputation for taking off without saying much. She hadn’t even told anyone about the weekend excursion to Cape Disappointment! The family she had left she wasn’t close to, and by the time Adam realized she hadn’t made it back home it would be too late. 

Yellow headlights bathed the narrow road, the light blinding her the closer it got. Her hazard lights blinked red, signaling that she was broken down, but Chantel second guessed whether she wanted the help. 

“I’m going to be a sex trafficking victim all in the name of independence. Way to go, idiot.” 

Her fingers fumbled around in the gigantic backpack she’d been using as a purse for the weekend, hastily pulling at the zippers until she found what she was looking for. A purple taser she purchased on Amazon for a whopping ten dollars. She doubted it would stop anyone in their tracks, but it was better than nothing. 

It turned out the man who knocked on her window wasn’t an axe wielding serial murdering rapist, or at least he didn’t appear to be. She tucked the small device into her side as the ridiculously handsome middle aged man with a salt and pepper beard smiled at her through the foggy glass. 

He looked harmless enough, sporting a pair of smart designer glasses and what Chantel knew to be a really expensive cashmere turtleneck sweater underneath an equally expensive Canada Goose coat. She wasn’t shy about looking him up and down as she assessed the risk. What if the male model was a decoy?

His neatly manicured eyebrows twisted down in confusion and she thought it was one of the cutest things she had ever seen. 

She rolled down the window with a nervous smile.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” 

She hated how breathy the words came out but he was truly stunning. 

Tall, fit, well-dressed. 

“Are you alright? It looks like you’re having some trouble.” 

A gentleman.

“What would make you think that?” Chantel spoke before she thought it through, but the stranger didn’t seem to take offense if the amused smirk on his face could be trusted. “I’m kidding. Yeah, no. I’m not alright. The car was making weird noises so I pulled over and now it won’t turn back on. I looked under the hood but I have no idea what’s wrong.”

He nodded attentively while she spoke, watching her lips with interest. She noticed him staring and licked them.

“I don’t know how much of a help I’ll be.” His bronze skin reddened with the admission and she wondered if he was blushing or if the cold was getting to him. “I don’t know anything about cars but I can give you a ride wherever you want.”

She’d like a ride alright. In his cushiony truck that may as well have been a royal carriage considering the circumstances. Or on his handsome bearded face that she couldn’t stop staring at. 

Chantel wondered if he could tell what she was thinking. 

Movement caught her eye and she noticed an identical black SUV pulling off the road to park behind the one Prince Charming departed from. Her hand squeezed around the taser instinctively. 

Was the sexy stranger bait to catch naive, unsuspecting girls? 

“...but I’m sure we’d both rather leave it to the professionals.” He gestured back towards the dark truck and paused, noticing they weren’t alone. Her breath caught in her chest when four bulking men slammed their doors shut and started walking in their direction.

“I apologize. That’s my security team. I left without telling them.” 

Hmm. A kindred spirit. 

Who was he to have a security team? Was he telling the truth? Or just stalling? 

She wanted to believe him. To trust that it was in human nature to help one another without some ulterior, sinister motive. 

Did she even have a choice? How long would she have to wait on the next passerby? There was no guarantee they would be any better than the (so far) kind stranger and his friends.

Chantel Williams was a lot of things, but she was not naïve. With surprising coordination, she swung the door open, knocking the man back several steps. Her boots crunched as she landed in the snow. 

“Back up or I’m going to tase you!” She warned, putting space between herself and the stranger while keeping an eye on the approaching men. 

The corners of his mouth turned up as he fought back a smile. 

Chantel scoffed. He wasn’t taking her seriously. 

“I’m not fucking around!” She insisted, charging up the small device. The buzz felt more powerful than she remembered. The man seemed to think so too, changing his approach. He spoke in a soft tone. “Can we slow down?” 

“Don’t patronize me. Just back up like I said. No, this way!” She ordered until he stood across from her with his back to his men. 

Behind him, they speed up their approach but they could only move so fast in the snow. Following her gaze, the strange man looked over his shoulder and gestured for the men to stall at the front of his truck several feet away. One of them shouted at her to put the taser away from his position. He sported two braids and a cut in his brow. Chantel shouted back at him to ‘shut the fuck up’

Mr. GQ gave another signal and like he was the conductor of an orchestra, all noise ceased. Well, all external noise at least. Chantel swore she could hear the sound of her heart ringing in her ears. 

“Hey!” He demanded her full attention. His hands were up in a defensive position. “What are you looking for here?” 

It was a great question but she had no answer for him.

Trouble maker. Fire starter. Full-time agitator.

Chantel was that way even as a child, responding to normal adolescent teasing with violence. Sharp bites in the classroom or royal rumble style fights on the playground were her specialty in grade school. She made anyone stupid enough to provoke her regret it whether big or small, male or female. That wasn’t to say she was organized or calculating in her plans. She acted and dealt with things as they came. 

She had no idea what the endgame was when she pulled the taser, but she had to stick with it. The crowd of onlookers made her feel more justified in her rash decision.

“I don’t think you really want to hurt me.”

“Now, what would make you think that?” Chantel asked incredulously. He didn’t know her from Eve. 

She was even more steadfast in pointing the taser in his direction but he didn’t seem phased.

“When you want to hurt somebody, you don’t wait around or warn them. You just do it.”

“Are you suggesting I should’ve tased you?”

He shrugged as if they were discussing the weather.

“That certainly would have been more effective.”

Was he serious?

“I mean I still can. If you keep talking I just might.”

He had the gall to laugh in her face. 

Hysterically. 

And it wasn’t fleeting or sarcastic. It was genuine laughter from deep down in his gut. She hated how beautiful he was, even in the middle of showing blatant disrespect for her ability to harm him. 

“Seriously?” She griped, fighting against the way her face muscles twitched. 

Giggle box.

When somebody at church mispronounced a word during the announcements or when her aunt murdered a hit song, she giggled uncontrollably. Papa chastised her for it, but it couldn’t be helped. When the urge struck and she got that itch in her throat, she had to laugh.

So naturally, like two birds of a maniac feather they shared a laugh in four (and counting) inches of snow.

***

GENERAL TAGLIST

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @yourwonkywriter @trulysuccubus

MIGUEL TAGLIST

@thesandbeneathmytoes @taylortheeshowpony

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Midnight”

Happy Saturday, everyone! I’d like to extend a formal congratulations to every Cinder fan in the community. Criticisms of the writing aside, you all struck gold with twelve whole minutes devoted to your fave and I’m absolutely thrilled for you.

We again start with a dark screen and some audio, in this case Cinder’s scrubbing. This technique—along with closeups on eyes—is a real favorite of RWBY’s this volume, to the point where I think they’re a little too enamored with it. But at least this is just a preference, not something that actively harms the storytelling in any way, so it’s welcome to stay. This time, unlike our premiere, we stay on Cinder as her life is summed up with three events intercut with one another: scrubbing floors, getting taunted by boys, and the sound of heels making their way towards her. It’s clear that Cinder leads a poor, miserable life, if her dirty clothes and stronger guys throwing her around is any indication, but all that changes when the rich woman says “I’ll take her” and Cinder is transported to a better life in a wealthy hotel.

At least supposedly.

Here’s my problem with the worldbuilding. This moment has Witcher vibes and Witcher, in turn, built itself off of a trope seen a hundred times before: A young woman is treated terribly by her family, is whisked away by a wealthy/powerful caretaker, and though her life has arguably improved, she quickly learns that the new world she’s entered is just as dangerous and harsh as the one she left. In Witcher’s case, Yennefer is a disabled woman abused by her family, bought by Tissaia, and taken to Aretuza where the other girls hate her and the curriculum is potentially deadly. Cinder is a poor woman arguably abused by her family (scrubbing)/the locals (fights), is taken by an unnamed woman, and whisked away to the swanky hotel where the daughters hate her and the work is potentially deadly due to shock collars. The difference between these two setups is that Tissaia bought Yennefer because of her magical potential. Why does our hotel lady take Cinder?

I mean yeah, obviously she wants a slave, but it’s a little weird isn’t it? Usually when a young woman falls headfirst into a new and questionable life, there’s a solid reason for her entry. This woman—whose lack of a name also says something about the worldbuilding—could have hired anyone she pleased to abuse. As we saw in regards to Atlas and Mantle in the past, every city has its poor and downtrodden. So what made her go out to some random farm and snatch Cinder up? It just, as always, feels a little too convenient. Cinder didn’t enter this life because something about her characterization or origin justified it, the plot simply ensured that she, out of everyone possible, and with very little reason, was the one chosen to follow The Plot™ .

It also messes with the Cinderella parallels. Originally (or “originally,” going off of Disney here which is likely what RWBY is using as a template too) it’s her step-family that abuses her and yes, we recreate that via the hiring (“hiring”—I doubt she was paid), but Cinder was already scrubbing floors back home. Her status as the servant already existed. So why change locations? Why not just keep Cinder as an abused farm girl, or have her a part of the hotel family right from the start? Part of the reason why Cinderella resonates is because of the contrast between the happy life with her father and the new, horrific life she falls into once he dies. Which is then further contrasted by the rest of the outside world. Fairy Godmother, Prince, and party-goers alike are all presented as kind, decent people. They represent the “real” world that Cinderella can escape to. By making Cinder’s original life horrible, her new life worse, and everyone connected with that life cruel and/or indifferent (with the exception of this one, special huntsmen)… you paint a very different picture of the world as a whole. Which is something RWBY has been vocal about trying to accomplish—it’s not a fairy tale—the only problem is with how these moments are undermined the second the story wants Ruby to ~Believe in People~. Cinderella is a story about enduring and eventually overcoming temporary hardship. Cinder’s story is about endless hardship that creates villains. A dark and fascinating story… but how does that fit into last week’s episode where Ruby told the whole world about Salem, expecting them to band together in peace and harmony? This is how Remnant’s world treats people when there’s not a global crisis, and Cinder isn’t even a faunus.

Which, I want to make clear going into the rest of this recap, does not excuse Cinder for her actions. At all. I think there are some complicated acknowledgements to be made in terms of her abuse and the Huntsmen’s responsibility in it continuing, but that does not give Cinder a blanket pass for all the horrific shit she has pulled over the years. Cinder didn’t just defend herself from abusers, she became one. More on that in a minute.

First though… is the Huntsmen’s name Rhodes? Did we hear that in the episode? If we did, I totally missed it because I have a note here about the one important character not getting a name. So yeah, idk. If we got this from more supplemental info, bad RWBY. If I missed it, bad Clyde. Either way, I’ll use that name going forward.

Back to the plot at hand. The hotel is, as said, populated by indifferent and shallow people and there’s no desert nearby, so I presume we’re supposed to be in Atlas? (Why did this woman buy a girl from another Kingdom?) There are customers getting drunk, flirting, and generally just enjoying their wealth, which harkens back to Weiss’ comment in Volume 4 about all their problems being superficial. We’re introduced to the owner’s two daughters who are, as expected, quintessential Mean Girls. 

They love ordering Cinder around, not just with hotel chores, but personal ones as well like, “rub my feet”… despite the fact that this place is massive and must have an equally massive staff to stay in business. Why aren’t the girls terrorizing anyone else? Again, it makes sense for Cinder(ella) to be the focus of their abuse when she’s in a single household, but transplanting that to a hotel raises a lot of questions that RWBY hasn’t bothered to examine. You can’t move a story like that and not think about what further changes that would evoke.

See, RWBY could have done something interesting here by considering some of those other changes. Like having one or both step-sisters be the one to help free Cinder from her abuse, playing the villain before becoming the fairy godmother. Up until she turns villain instead of hero, this is just Cinderella’s story copy and pasted into RWBY. It’s moments like this that should make us wary of using fairy tale allusions as evidence for our readings and theories. Whether RWBY is deconstructing or upholding a story varies wildly, and we never know what we’ll get until we actually see it on screen. Even then we can’t count on a choice remaining consistent, as we saw with Ironwood’s deconstruction being tossed out the window in Volume 7.

Cinder is originally just as meek as her fairy tale counterpart too. We don’t hear her speak until the owner is about to leave when she simply goes, “Food?” The sisters laugh at her and a roll is thrown to the floor with the comment that she should get busy because it “looks filthy.” I quite like that moment. Your job is to ensure the floors are clean enough to eat off of—literally.

We see a montage of Cinder doing just that, lots of chores, with a new song listing all the tasks she’s now responsible for. During this, Rhodes is seen in the background and witnesses when Cinder (presumably) first uses her semblance by heating up the brush and chucking it at the sisters, creating a massive cloud of steam.

 It’s that moment which “earns” her a shock session with her necklace and I’m staring at the screen, a little open-mouthed. I mean, that’s the second child torture we’ve seen this volume (with Cinder being ten here). Again, I’m not making a specific accusation, just going, “Really?”

Also, note the anti-faunus sign. Nothing like continually showing us racist establishments rather than actually writing a story that deals with the racism needless put into the story world. I’d like to remind everyone of my previous comments this Volume about how the story works hard to paint Mantle as sympathetic, but refuses to show anything that does the same for Atlas citizens, people who are in just as much danger with Salem as an equalizer. A whole city is not actually made up of shallow racists, the show is just showing us only those people to create a simplistic “They’re all bad” reading that encourages us to reject Atlas and, by extension, Ironwood. Weiss is walking proof that Atlas citizens are both complex individuals and capable of bettering themselves. If we can come to adore the Schnee heiress, we should be questioning why nearly every other citizen is painted as an abuser, too wealthy to care, or has conveniently left the story (Rhodes dead, Klein gone, Whitley rejected, etc.).

As Cinder is being tortured, we see that she’s forced to say, “Without you, I am nothing.” Now see, this is excellent... in theory. This is the kind of line we needed to hear with some consistency over the last seven years (if RWBY still insisted on waiting that long for a backstory), setting up that this line is clearly engrained in Cinder and she repeats it on instinct. Instead—to my recollection, anyway—we only get it this Volume, in two episodes. If it appeared before then it wasn’t notable enough to remember. I commented on this before, but it wasn’t a, “Ah, this line must be important” reaction, it was a “Lol why is RWBY using the same line twice? That’s weird.” By only giving it to us twice before the backstory and in such a short timeframe, the impact of this reveal is lost. We’re only now realizing that the line is important, rather than coming to realize why.

Our writers know just enough to recognize what techniques work, but not enough to have figured out what makes them tick. They get that providing a RWBY-vised version of Cinderella is cool, but not how to adapt that 100% successfully. They know that repeated lines have power, but not how to create good setup for the reveal. They know the camera should use closeups, but not what moments are important enough to warrant that. RWBY, eight years on, still feels like a newbie writer copying what the great stories are doing without yet understanding why those aspects work and, thus, how to recreate them.

I mean, Cinder’s backstory appearing now attests to that most obviously. I waved at the Cinder fans before, but the reality is that most viewers don’t care, either because Cinder herself is so bland, and/or because the story waited too long to make her a little more interesting. This entire flashback was handled badly simply by virtue of it arriving over seven years past the character’s introduction. 

So after this torture session Cinder steals Rhode’s sword. We hear some dialogue in the background of him getting pissed that it’s missing and the sisters promising to find it, implying that Cinder will have this tool at her disposal for a while. Instead, seconds later he’s found her hideout and confronts her. I don’t know if I’m impressed with Rhode’s skills, or rolling my eyes at how contrived this all is. Chuck in the question of whether Cinder was talented enough to steal the sword out from under him, or if Rhodes was stupid enough to leave it lying around, and I’m edging towards the eye rolling.

He dodges Cinder’s attack, rolls her more weapons to prove he’s not here to hurt her, and acknowledges that she’s not getting “the most fair treatment.” Okay, here’s where things start to get complicated. Rhodes tells Cinder she shouldn’t run away because then she’ll be running her whole life (don’t really agree with that). He likewise (rightly imo) tells her not to straight up murder them because look, no matter how much of a shit stain someone is, I can’t condone slamming a sword through their chest on an individual’s say-so (especially when two of those people are also kids growing up under an abuser, like Whitely). So what’s left? Rhodes says Cinder can train to become a huntress. At ten years old, she has seven years to prepare for the exam.

But she has to stay with her abusive family until then.

My problem is far less with the claim that this “has” to happen and far more with the writing’s failure to tell us why. Cinder could have begged to come with Rhodes and he says she can’t because… idk. Make up a reason. He doesn’t make enough to feed the both of them. It would be too dangerous out on missions without training and he doesn’t have a permanent place to stay (hence using the hotel all the time). He could even go the “They’re your legal guardians” route with more explanation because it’s arguable that Rhodes had no idea about the collar. Doesn’t mean Cinder’s treatment isn’t “that bad” in his eyes, just that he might not have known the extent and thus thought it was preferable for Cinder to put up with “just” being insulted and overworked until she’s 17. That this life that he only has a partial picture of is preferable to the life she’d have at his side. Something to explain the stakes here, the risks, and why he took this stance. 

And/or give us a reason why Cinder doesn’t try to run, a suggestion I make very cautiously because it’s not my intention to put the responsibility solely on her. This isn’t meant to be a “Just save yourself! It’s easy!” claim. Rather, it’s an acknowledgement that young, barely trained kids go out into the world all the time in this show—Ruby, Oscar—and it’s an acknowledgement that Cinder tugged off her collar easy-peasy. The point is, practically speaking, Cinder could have left and braved the streets like Emerald did… so give us a reason why she decided to stay. Maybe she’s scared of living on the streets, acknowledging that a little food and a place to sleep is better than nothing. Maybe she’s scared that if she doesn’t have a direct connection to the hotel (convenience), Rhodes won’t train her anymore. Maybe, as an abuse victim, she can’t articulate why she won’t leave, she just can’t. Something to acknowledge these gaps because, right now, we just have the fandom going, “See? This is why the huntsmen are all evil cops. Rhodes took the lawful route and look where it got Cinder! He’s the responsible adult in this situation, so it’s all his fault.” Problem is, this take ignores: 

The fact that our heroes are also huntsmen and were pretending to be huntsmen before they had those lawful licenses. So what does that make them? We can’t continually criticize these professional roles without criticizing our heroes’ use of them as well. Ruby just ensured the world would take her message seriously by introducing herself as a huntress. We can’t condemn these laws and privileges while likewise letting Ruby continue to use them however she please. It’s okay if she’s a part of the system, because Ruby is inherently good! That’s not how this works. I’ve just described every American cop show that tumblr is currently turning against: The system is corrupt and needs to be overhauled, but our protagonists are different. 

The story fails to tell us why Rhodes won’t do more outside of a single line about Cinder being of legal age. That just acknowledges that age has some bearing on his decision, not whether it outweighs other considerations (can Cinder survive if she leaves?), or whether Rhodes even has a full picture of what’s happening to her (the collar). The takeaway is that we don’t know what his though process was because RWBY didn’t show it to us, not that his thought process is automatically awful. 

Rhodes, as a literal stranger entering her life, is not 100% responsible for what happens to Cinder. I know people don’t want to acknowledge that because leaving a child in that situation is absolutely horrific, but if RWBY wants to be ~realistic~ (and it does) then we need to acknowledge that reality too. If you saw a child employee getting yelled at in a hotel and then found her with your sword, would you rip the collar off her neck and be like, “Congratulations, you’re my child now”? Nice as that trope is, probably not! Or hell, maybe a lot of you would upend your life and risk legal action to whisk them away, but a lot of other people wouldn’t... and they're not the devil for doing what they can within the bounds of the law. The idea that because Rhodes unexpectedly had one (1) encounter with Cinder means he’s now responsible for her life and outcome is, well, crazy. “But, Clyde, you can’t just see that kind of horror and not do something about it.” You’re right. You know what you do? Tell the authorities. But does Remnant have the equivalent of social workers? We don’t know! Which means we can’t assume that Rhodes didn’t call them just because he’s a bad person. Or maybe they exist and the fandom considers them too corrupt to be useful, like so many other authorities in this show. So… what else is there for him to do? There doesn’t seem to be anyone above Rhodes that he can turn to, he doesn’t (for whatever reason) want to essentially kidnap Cinder and start a new life with her, so what’s left? Try to give Cinder a healthy relationship and a way to escape in the long run, which is precisely what Rhodes did. 

Honestly, I’m kind of salty that this guy went out of his way to help her, he saw what everyone else saw and was the only one who would help her, but because he didn’t do more—because he didn’t entirely upend his life and/or risk arrest to take her away to this hypothetically better situation—the fandom is acting like it’s his fault Cinder killed her abusers. It’s not. Cinder made that choice.

At the end of the day, blaming Rhodes reveals the expectation that it’s his responsibility to solve this massive problem purely because he had the bad luck to be the one Cinder stole from. That’s like telling a teacher who learns about abuse from a paper that following the lawful channels and going out of his way to assist the child in other ways is responsible when the kid murders their family one day. “Why didn’t you just barge into the house and take the kid?!” Because there are a hundred reasons why that would go incredibly badly? Rhodes can’t help Cinder if he’s in jail. Rhodes can’t help Cinder if she ends up dead on a mission while following him. Rhodes can’t help Cinder if their attempt at escape fails and she bears the punishment. 

The only thing I think Rhodes did absolutely wrong was giving Cinder the sword while she was still under the owner’s thumb. Stupid, but not cruel. And again, stupid does not equal blanket responsibility. I’m likewise seeing, “Rhodes gave her the sword and thus it’s his fault that Cinder got in trouble. It’s his fault they died. What was Cinder supposed to do, not defend herself?” Are people forgetting that Cinder stole the sword herself in the beginning and then readily accepted it again? She had agency in obtaining weaponry and what she wanted it for. Are people forgetting that, in accepting it, she likewise accepted the risk of keeping it hidden in the hotel? Are people forgetting that the time skip shows this happening years later and that Rhodes clearly thought Cinder was past her murderous streak? Are people forgetting that Cinder killed the owner by snapping her neck and resisting the shock collar, no sword required? She could have killed them any time she pleased based on the crime scene, whether Rhodes had given her a weapon or not. The weapon was just the catalyst that, truthfully, could have been caused by anything else. Cinder snaps when they find the sword and she’s tortured. Cinder snaps when she drops another tray and she’s tortured. She had planned to kill her abusers and never completely let go of that. 

Honestly, I’m just annoyed that we have another good hearted, takes action, does his best and makes some mistakes character getting blamed for everything another character chose to do, erasing their agency in the process. Rhodes did not abuse Cinder. Rhodes did not force her to kill her actual abusers. And Rhodes is certainly not responsible for what Cinder later becomes. Could Rhodes have done more? Of course, but every character could always do more. 

The tl;dr is that this complex situation needed far better setup in the show and the fandom needs to stop using that lack of setup as “proof” that characters are horrible people when they fail to magically fix said complicated, badly explained problems. Cinder chose to murder three people. Whether that was justified in the face of her abuse is up to you to decide, but it was still her choice. Please stop blaming the adult male characters for the choices the teenage girls in this show make. RWBY is too convoluted and attempting to tackle too many complex issues to reduce that to, “Every man here is the evil, responsible party and ever girl is a #queen. Even when they go on to murder Pyrrha ^_^” As a woman who would very much like to be rooting for the mostly-woman cast more than I now do, this isn’t the feminist take people want it to be.  

But I’ve jumped waaaay ahead. Let’s backtrack a bit.

That first interaction between Rhodes and Cinder is super weird because the camera keeps covering Rhodes’ face and I don’t know why. 

We segue into that montage of him training her for presumably years (Cinder’s hair changes) until we see him giving her the sword in what’s meant to be a moment of pride and trust. Soon after, Rhodes (randomly) comes back to the hotel when everyone else is asleep and hears noises in the back. Moving to check them out, he discovers that Cinder has murdered the two sisters and is in the process of murdering the owner, throwing back the line, “Without you, I am nothing, but because of you, I am everything.” Again, much more impactful if this had been a line we’ve associated with Cinder for years now, not a couple of episodes.

After she breaks the owner’s neck (damn, strong hand!) she tells Rhodes she doesn’t have to run anymore. Cinder clearly expects him to be happy for her and is shocked when he takes out his weapons.

I’m sorry, this is not a “betrayal.” Could Rhodes have just let Cinder go? Sure. Should he have? Given what she becomes, that’s very debatable! Rhodes clearly thought he’d helped her grow into someone who was not inclined towards murder (giving her the sword) and thus is probably going to be a little rattled when he walks in to find her killing three people. Again, there are obvious differences given the level of abuse Cinder seems to have suffered in comparison, but imagine that Glynda, after teaching Weiss for years, walked in on her killing Jacques and Whitley in revenge. Is she supposed to just ignore that? Shrug her shoulders and wish her well? I know a lot of people consider that the “fair” outcome given the inclusion of abuse, but that’s because we’ve had an omniscient view of Cinder’s history and insight into her emotional state. Rhodes doesn’t have that. All he has is his oath as a huntsmen to prevent things like, you know, murder sprees. I’m not going to delve into the overall ethics of a judicial system, either in RWBY or the real world, and thus I’m not going to make any naive claims about it being fair—it’s fucking not—but I don’t think the answer to these systematic problems is, “Why wouldn’t you just let the teenager murder three bad people and then go on her way? She totally deserved it!” Rhodes is not in a position to decide that, which is the entire point of having a judicial system in the first place. 

So Rhodes wants to bring Cinder in. Kind of like how Clover wanted to bring Qrow in once he had an arrest warrant. I can’t emphasize enough that wanting to start a legal process rather than letting clearly guilty/potentially guilty people go because they WANT to is not a “betrayal.” Regardless of what teen dramas may have taught us, you don’t have to potentially throw your own freedom and your morals away because you found out a friend is wanted by the authorities. Or you walk in on them currently snapping someone’s neck. There are options other than, “Believe your friend is right without question and help them hide the bodies” (looking at you, Maria, Pietro). Whitely is not insane for going, “Hey, can you not make me an accomplice to a crime by forcing your way in here with a bunch of fugitives?” I’m constantly surprised by the number of fans who can, in one breath, condemn characters for not throwing a middle finger up at the law and in the next praise Jacques’ arrest. Do we want to benefit from this system or not? If yes, that means you have to weigh which laws can be broken (such as in a protest), which should be obeyed (bring murderers and wanted men in), all while working to change the laws that are prejudice and aren’t working. 

Anyway, they fight. It’s short and sweet, backdropped by the large clock striking midnight, hence our title. I’m incredibly suspicious of Cinder breaking Rhode’s aura first, given that she’s still the student in training, but here we can more persuasively say he wasn’t fighting seriously, given that he then stupidly rushes towards her without a weapon. Still, that would be the second time now that RWBY has relied on elite fighters “holding back” to explain how the kids in training beat them, the first instance, of course, being with the Ace Ops.

Rhodes does rush Cinder though when she hits the wall and breaks her own aura, clearly concerned. She uses the moment to stab him with both swords. He uses his last breaths to put a hand on her head, conveying that he doesn’t blame her for how this all turned out.

Then Cinder pulls off her collar with a single snap and looks up at the broken moon, crying her single tear.

I’m dragging the flashback for multiple reasons, but I want to emphasize that I think this episode is leagues better from what we got last week. Absolute night and day. It’s just that, as always, improvements are incredibly comparative in RWBY. It’s not really good for numerous reasons… it’s just better than what we’ve gotten before. It’s “great” provided you go in with standards buried in the ground.

We then return to the present as Cinder wakes up in Salem’s whale. This scene gives us a great shot of her grimm arm, so cosplayers take note!

Emerald arrives soon after and immediately rushes to her side, expressing how worried she was. She grabs Cinder’s grimm hand without hesitation. Honestly, I don’t care much about either character… but this single frame activated some sort of ship button in my brain.

Not fully because I’m personally not drawn to toxic relationships in fiction (which, as I’m about to explain, would absolutely be the case here), but just the tinniest bit. Because I’m a sucker for monstrous people being loved despite their monstrous nature, so having Emerald take that hand over the other is like a ship speed run for me.

I’m predictable, folks.

But we need to talk about less happy things for a moment. I mentioned above Cinder becoming an abuser herself. I hope I don’t need to lay out the laundry list of murders, attempted murders, sabotage, and general taking-over-the-world-ness she’s engaged in since Episode One. Don’t let a sad backstory erase all that. Hell, for all we know the hotel owner had a horrific backstory too! Doesn’t justify how she treated Cinder. The point though is beyond her clear status as a villain, we now know that Cinder treats Emerald just like the owner once treated her.

Cinder was “rescued” from her life on the farm by the owner. Emerald is “rescued” from her life on the streets by Cinder.

Both realize over time that the situation they’re now in is actually worse.

Both reiterate that they “owe” the other “everything,” with Cinder having that shocked into her and Emerald seeming to willingly believe it.

The owner treats Cinder as a slave. Cinder treats Emerald as a slave. “Both of you, get out. I’ll let you know when you’re needed.” The only difference is that Cinder’s orders were things like “Scrub floors” and Emerald’s are “Convince an audience this girl attacked our ally.”

Both use threats to keep the other in line: the owner with her shock collar and Cinder with her Maiden powers. Cinder doesn’t need to resort to violence (yet) because Emerald adores her, but the threat is always there. 

There are even visual similarities this episode, such as kneeling and gem necklaces, though I acknowledge fully that those are just interesting details as opposed to anything like persuasive proof. 

The point is that Cinder became exactly what she hated, she just turned the dial up to eleven by going after the whole world instead of a single child. “But Cinder never had a chance to be anything else.” Sure she did. Blake and Weiss are proof of that. Even if we believe that Cinder was doomed to be a villain due to the extent of her abuse, what does that say about the hotel’s owner? We don’t know anything about her history, so what if she was abused too? Does that mean she was always “doomed” to treat Cinder that way? Does that excuse everything she did to her because she supposedly never stood a chance of becoming anything else? Of course not.

Though very iffily done, this is a commentary on the cycle of abuse. Each case is horrific, but it doesn’t excuse what comes later. Every abuser was once an innocent child and every innocent child has the capability of becoming the next abuser. Cinder’s life up until now was beyond awful and yes, she lacked a lot of privileges that others had to help them head down a better path, like Weiss’ wealth. On the other hand, she lacks other difficulties that would make that path harder for others, like Blake’s status as a faunus. Everyone has a choice to make: Will you treat others the way you were treated because that’s “fair,” or will you decide to treat others better than what you were dealt? There are lots of aspects that factor into the likelihood of someone choosing the latter—which is why I really like Rhode’s hand on Cinder’s head, acknowledging his understanding that she’s an abused kid taking the only path she thinks is available to her—but individual agency is by no means removed from the equation. Cinder escaped her situation and decided she’d never be powerless again. What does that mean to her, perhaps becoming a community member who works to prevent abuse like the kind she suffered? No, it means grinding the entire world under her heel until she’s the only one with power left.

This GIF continues to be the only one I need.

(No, the fact that it comes from a cop show and I’m using it for such an anti-law, anti-establishment story/fandom isn’t lost on me.)

(Also, if anyone is curious, this is why I love Ozpin. Out of everyone in this cast, HE has suffered the most, tenfold, and yet he still chooses to be kinder to those than they’ve been to him.) 

Anyway, I should really stick to the plot lol. Cinder realizes that her waking up means that they’ve lost, which I still think is BS. Cinder needed a win to come across as a formidable villain again and the likes of Neo, Emerald, and a Maiden with years of practice under her belt should have wiped the floor with a scientist, retirement grandma, and a girl who got the powers an hour ago. But I again digress.

Mercury reveals that he will no longer be following Cinder’s orders because Salem has a special job for him. They’ve all been told to meet on the bridge.

Then we cut to Ozpin and Oscar.

My poor boy is a mess and Ozpin is in the process of begging Oscar to take a “break.” “I would like to express again that this is my burden to bear, not yours.” Take note, fandom. In a few moments Hazel will accuse Ozpin of being a “coward” because “All this time, it could have been you, but you let him suffer.” I just know a bunch of people will be going, “Yeah! Ozpin just let a kid get tortured instead of him. WTF??” Okay 1. We should always be suspicious of agreeing with the takes villains have and 2. Oscar just refused to let Ozpin do that. It is—again—his choice because he thinks that Hazel is “holding back” with him. Oscar is being a brave and logical dude trying to make the best of this situation for both of them. Don’t take that away from him just to make Ozpin look bad. What would we even want him to do? Take control back? The fandom has been yelling at Ozpin for that since Volume 5.

So they’re going back and forth when Oscar suddenly announces that they “can’t leave yet. This is our chance.”

Ozpin even says he thinks Oscar must have taken one too many hits because… yeah. What? Long story short, Oscar recognizes that they’ll never be this close to Salem’s subordinates again and that they should try to undermine her from the inside out, just like she’s done with the world since she knows she can’t take on everyone at once. I love Oscar taking charge here, I love them speaking in unison, I even love the hope of achieving something epic while in captivity despite my own belief that Oscar should break and reveal the Lamp’s password. What I don’t love is:

Another messy, unexpected belief that Salem made her choices because she “knows” she can’t win any other way. Except that—like Ruby’s line in the recording—Salem’s current attack blows that idea out of the water. She IS taking on the whole world. Granted, Ozpin and Oscar presumably don’t know that the whole world literally knows of her existence now, or that Salem was smiling about it, but they do know that she’s attacking Atlas head on. What else is that except a declaration of war with all of Remnant?

The idea of undermining Salem from the inside via Hazel. For anyone who reads my other metas, I just said that this idea wouldn’t work because Emerald isn’t the one torturing him, the one character who has consistently demonstrated hesitation (or, now, Neo). Hazel despises Ozpin so much that he would never listen to him. He despises him so much he doesn’t even see Oscar as his own person… at least he didn’t before. That’s been retconned now with Hazel going “easy” Oscar and having an actual conversation with Ozpin. Whereas before, he was slamming Oscar into walls and screaming about how he’s going to kill the “murderer” of his sister. They basically softened his character to make this plan possible.

The fact that this scene came about without Oscar and Ozpin ever getting to reconcile their problems. Last we saw them, Oscar was saying how he hated that Ozpin came back and refusing to acknowledge their merge. Now, they’re working together like they’ve always been solid allies. I get that the danger they’re in helps to put it all into perspective, but why can’t we get a few lines of them hashing this out? Or at least putting things aside until they’re out of Salem’s clutches? If you don’t need to re-write Hazel’s character with “he’s going easy on me” lines, you can use that space to deal with the conflict we’ve already established. Especially given the strange choice to have Oscar refuse to give up control and be the one coming up with this plan... but then Ozpin does take control and (maybe, see below) enacts it? I feel like we’ve missed huge chunks of this story. As it is, I wonder if RWBY will bother coming back to this. The questions of if/how Oscar will accept Ozpin and if/how he’ll reveal this secret to the group feels like they’re being swept under the rug and it will likely go unnoticed by a lot of viewers simply due to how intense the kidnapping plot is.

So things are a little messy, but otherwise enjoyable, and they’re about to get downright confusing. For me, anyway. See, Hazel reveals that he follows Salem because she can’t be beaten (cue my continued worry about Ruby telling the whole WORLD). She “can’t be stopped. She’s a force of nature,” and Ozpin is fighting a “cause with no victory, no end.” He yells back that “Someone has to try!”—bless this man—and then looks down at the ground going, “Salem can be fought. Unless… she brings the Relics together, if that happens…” and mentions summoning the Gods.

So here’s my confusion. The scene makes it feel like Ozpin is planting some sort of seed in Hazel’s head. He and Oscar JUST got done agreeing to try and undermine her from the inside out, then we get this line that feels like him “accidentally” dropping a secret that will turn Hazel against her. Except… Ozpin doesn’t lie here? The line isn’t useful to them as far as I can tell. They are screwed if Salem gets the Relics. …Right? Because if not, why the hell have the heroes been working so hard to keep them out of her hands? So I can’t decide if:

A) This scene is just written badly and none of this is part of the plan to undermine Salem.

B) Ozpin is going, “NO. Don’t collect the RELICS. That would be the WORST THING EVER /s” in an attempt to trick Hazel into doing it anyway and this is somehow supposed to hurt Salem, despite being presented since Volume 5 as the worst outcome for our heroes? 

C) Ozpin specifically wants Salem to make the mistake of summoning the Gods because he thinks he’s completed his task? Or something? But what in the world would make him think that—especially without seeing Ruby’s message (not to mention the lack of unity that mess should cause)—or what makes him think the Gods would just destroy Salem regardless of what he’s achieved? If summoning the Gods was ever a defeat Salem option, why hasn’t he done it before?

I’m leaning towards A just because it makes the most sense by far, but that would also mean we had Ozpin and Oscar decide on this plan, have a chance to start this plan… and then didn’t actually do anything. Yelling at Hazel for following Salem isn’t a new strategy, they were doing that before, so what’s new? Or has the new strategy not been revealed yet? Idk, as happy as I am to see them being BAMF together, I’m slightly unsure about how it all hangs together. I’d much rather have an internally consistent and clear outcome that’s predictable (Oscar breaks or just holds out until rescue) rather than what appears like a super cool, badass, unexpected plot on the surface… but crumbles once you poke at the foundation a bit.

So whether Oscar and Ozpin started this plan or not, they’re dragged into the throne room where they’re forced to kneel before Salem. Yikes. She sits on her throne with the Hound, who I’m only now realizing could be read as a messed up Toto

We learn that Tyrian heard from Watts about his incarceration and hacking Penny. What? Okay, I took the time to go back through “Amity” just to find this screenshot.

That’s not a working Scroll! Idk what I thought Watts might do with it at the end of last week, but it wasn’t send a full, uninterrupted message to Salem that updates her on everything that’s gone down in Atlas. This thing is toast! Moments like this make me question how much communication there really is between the writers and the animators, despite last Volume’s disaster with Oscar telegraphing his punch like whoa. Are we still getting that level of miscommunication? 

Salem then punishes Cinder for disobeying her by hurting her grimm arm. See, this here (for me, anyway) is the mark of a newbie writer. When the moment first started I went, “Oh nice. Just like the shock collar!” Then the scene made that abundantly clear by cutting to flashbacks of Cinder in her collar. That’s too heavy-handed. We already got the parallel, but then the show went, “Do you get it??” It shows that the writers are too scared that the viewers won’t get it, that their nuance will be lost, so they scramble to make it as obvious as possible, rather than trusting in their own writing.

And if you’re like, “So you want RWBY to be more clear and also… less clear?” the answer is, sadly, yes lol. The things that are already confusing due to retconning and inconsistent themes need to be made explicit, whereas the details that are already strong don’t need an in-your-face, “Okay, but did you really get the parallel here? We’re just making sure.” It’s like launching into explaining why a joke is funny when it’s already landed vs. telling a nonsensical joke and then waiting for the laugh that will never come. RWBY struggles in both areas.  

Salem delves into this speech about how this is actually all her fault and she should let Cinder spread her wings or something. AKA, go free Watts and track down Penny. Then you can have your precious Maiden powers. 

There’s a massive earthquake across Mantle and we watch a + medical symbol go out. Again, heavy-handed. We don’t need that in order to understand that the whole city shaking while the grimm look happily up to the sky is a bad thing.

We cut to Winter listening to the Ace Ops complain about Penny. She tells them to act like the elite they are, likely because she hates how they refer to Penny as “junk.” Still being set up to betray Ironwood, I bet. During this scene we learn that they have “confirmed visual of her leaving Amity. She appeared to be malfunctioning.” So Penny is alive? Also, they have eyes on Amity Tower and were able to see Penny leaving, but didn’t see any of our trio coming to launch it in the first place? Did Ironwood want it to launch? Did they see Cinder? I just don’t know.

Before they can get there though a message from Jaune comes through. Serious kudos to Team JNY for asking that “anyone” respond/taking the personal risk of calling for help in the first place. They’re finally putting—as Harriet says—they’re own selfishness aside in favor of the greater good. Yang obviously hates that it’s “you guys” they ended up with, but she’s not outright attacking the Ace Ops or anything. I’m like,

Excellent job, Yang. 

Jaune is a little harsh in his panic. He said in his message that a “large mass of grimm” is heading towards Mantle and then when Harriet leads with asking about Penny, wants to know what’s wrong with her. Why are you asking about Penny when lives are in danger and “it’s” (the grimm) are “right there”? Except he, uh… points at nothing. There’s the chasm with (I presume) the weird grimm goo down it? Not sure based on the shot, but the Ace Ops expected a “mass of grimm” and then land to see no grimm anywhere nearby. So yeah, they’re more focused on the missing Maiden than the seemingly imaginary enemy Jaune is freaking out about.

They only get on board when the river launches itself at Atlas.

So the goo is, like, sentient before it becomes individual grimm? Or Salem is controlling it from her whale? Either way it’s BAD.

I want to briefly gripe about how the hell everyone is watching this. What, is there a camera conveniently trained on this one random part of Atlas’ underside and everyone’s scrolls tuned into that the second the attack started? It seems far-fetched, to put it mildly. In RWBY’s favor though, I want to acknowledge that we finally have appropriate expressions for the situation! This is good!!

I’m going to level with you all. My notifications have known no peace since I made the mistake of criticizing the adored trio that is Ruby, Weiss, and Blake. I thought supporting Ironwood would get me heat. Nope. Not supporting the main girls is what did it and honestly? I shouldn’t have been surprised. Last week I pointed out that having them smile and, in Ruby’s case, coo during a moment of horror is not good animation and implies some pretty uncomfortable things about their overall sympathy level. The image in question: 

It doesn’t set a good tone, especially when we add in what we’ve gotten for Ruby’s group across the rest of this volume. The counters of, “They need and deserve a break. Why won’t you let them be happy?” fall flat when we ignore that this group has been animated as consistently goofing off post-premiere. Sneaking into the guarded military base of a former friend? Tube shenanigans! Need to find your way around? Funny Penny moment! Semblance reveal? Cutesy chibi explanation! Need to do more sneaking? Silly coffee plan! Nora gets electrocuted? Joke about how awesome that was! Even Wiess telling Whitley to go to his room reads as funny to the audience.

Ruby in particular has been a problem, given that she’s our main character and the others’ leader. We take our emotional cues primarily from her. Alongside being a part of all these fun and games, her animation during more serious moments has been less than stellar. This is Penny when Nora goes down.

This is Ruby, Weiss, and Blake. No worry, just focused on the fight.

This is Penny when the fight is over.

This is Ruby, Weiss, and Blake. No worry, just chatting about suspicious activity.

This is Penny in the airship, worrying about Nora and the situation they’re in. This is also Ruby in the airship, apparently not worried at all.

This is Ruby when she learns her uncle is in jail. Is there shock? Fear? Horror that he might be in serious trouble? No, she just maintains the same emotion she had before: fury at Harriet.

So when we reach them watching the recording and they look like this:

No, I’m not convinced that this trio is taking the situation seriously, or that they really care about the people involved. I know they’re supposed to care, they all obviously care from a meta perspective, but the “obviousness” of that only exists in our personal understanding of the characters if we don’t see it on screen. I completely believe that Penny is worried about Nora because she’s animated expressing that worry. I completely believe that JRY are in the middle of a warzone because they’re (mostly) animated as fearful and angry. The rest of Ruby’s team has a scared line from Blake and Weiss holding Nora’s hand, whereas the majority of the emotion across this adventure has been indifference or playfulness. That’s a problem given how horrible the events of this Volume have been, most of which the group is aware of. 

All of which is an incredibly long-winded way of saying that this

finally feels appropriate. Well done, RWBY. 

Alright, this recap is already over 7k long so I want to return to our plot with the summarized: IRONWOOD WAS RIGHT. He said they couldn’t withstand a head on attack by Salem and he was right. It literally took seconds for her grimm to burrow into Atlas, knock out a tower, and disable the shield. Everyone still claiming that leaving is useless because it’s oh so obvious Salem’s grimm could fly however high it wants (when did we learn that?) are ignoring that leaving was at least a plan with some kind of hope attached to it. And, given her focus on the Staff, may have saved Mantle by drawing Salem’s attention away from the city. The point is we don’t know. All we do know is that Ironwood tried to do something in the face of hopeless odds, Ruby’s team stopped him, and now look, everything is awful. No one could have possibly seen that coming. 

Salem: “It’s time.”

I’m very pleased that Salem is finally using the tools at her disposal. Upon reflection, I still don’t buy why she had to wait. “Well, she was waiting for the grimm goo.” She couldn’t have used flying grimm to take out the tower? Take a burrowing grimm and give it wings? She couldn’t have used the goo that was apparently inside her whale the whole time?

It’s all very convenient. In the sense that we’re drawing out the volume by having the villain inexplicably hang back, despite not having a good reason to. In the sense that—unless Ruby’s message comes back to bite her—the villain’s passivity also conveniently let the heroes accomplish the one goal they were desperate to achieve. All of that’s still not good, but at least the Volume seems to be moving out of the “not good” category and into the “slightly better” territory. 

Although, as I just acknowledged to a friend, RWBY seems to alternate for me. Every time I have an episode where I think, “Okay, there are still massive problems here, but I can see a glimmer of hope” the next episode is inevitably the pits. 

Still, grabbing onto that hope with both hands: Atlas should be decimated, folks! Grimm are swarming, our idiot heroes herded everyone directly under the city, the world should be panicking, and the cold should still be killing people if the story remembers that it exists. At this point my only question is wtf our heroes are supposed to do next, but regardless of what the plot gives us, it’s going to be wild. You all know what’s coming. Next week is our final episode before a two month hiatus, which means we’re going to witness all kinds of awful and then end on a six week cliffhanger. It’s inevitable, so best to emotionally prep for that now lol.

I don’t believe we have any Bingo updates, with the exception of edging towards a few: “Winter betrays Ironwood,” “Army of grimm conveniently doesn’t kill any civilians,” “Atlas somehow survives,” and “Ironwood dies” being the most notable. We’ll have to see what, if anything, gets checked off next Saturday.

As always, thank you so much for reading (I feel like I don’t say that enough :D) and I’ll see you next week! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

[inkweaver22-blr]

Here’s another filler chapter! I like how it turned out so I hope ya’ll do too! Enjoy.

AO3 Link

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Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Twelve: Memory Proof

Tang learns a bit about the twins. Being in the same body as them might have something to do with that.

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Tang hid behind some debris in the ruined theater as he watched Macaque approach the shattered Shadow Lantern. He had been hoping to collect the pieces for himself to try and study the artifact’s ability to trap souls. The data he could potentially obtain from it would be priceless in trying to come up with a counter to his curse once he found it’s cause.

But just because they were intelligent, didn’t mean they had common sense. The amount of harebrained plots and ideas they had that blew up in their faces due to not thinking everything through was almost comical.

Abandoning his plan for now, Tang waited patiently for Macaque to leave so he could make his exit as well.

Suddenly the Mayor was there.

Tang tensed in his hiding spot as he watched the man taunt Macaque before surprising the monkey and grabbing him by the throat.

Tang’s pulse raced as he watched Macaque get captured with little effort.

Was this why they never saw Macaque again after these events? Did this happen in every cycle? Just how strong was the Mayor to be able to subdue the shadow demon so quickly?

He needed to get out of here.

Tang froze when he realized the Mayor had vanished without him noticing.

“Now what do we have here?”

Blinding white and blue pain flashed behind Tang’s eyes as he stumbled back. Gasping in panic he looked up to find the Mayor right in front of him, giving the scholar his trademark nonchalant smile.

“Can’t have you running off to spoil the end of the show for the others, now can we” the Mayor said as he held up the Shadow Lantern. “I do love a captive audience!”

Before Tang could react, the lantern was activated, and he knew no more.

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He was in the cave, thankfully. The voices called out in concern. The golden-yellow light wrapped around him.

----------

Tang awoke with a start, gasping in panic.

Damn that man!

He hadn’t been killed this time, but being a puppet for the Mayor until the cycle ended was just as unpleasant.

The more he learned about him, the more terrifying to Tang he became.

He would have to do his best to avoid him as much as possible from now on.

Once he got his breathing under control, Tang made his preparations for the day and began his remembering ritual.

It seemed this cycle was one where there were only a few changes. Everything seemed mostly the same except for two details.

The first was that Jin and Yin had been good friends with Mei for years, acting almost like older brothers for her.

The second was that this cycle had Fusion.

Tang groaned at this revelation.

There were many strange and weird magics and powers he had come across in the timelines, but Fusion was the most conflicting for Tang.

Fusion was a special ability where two or more beings would physically combine together into a new, more powerful being. The result was usually a much larger combination of the participants that mixed together their physical characteristics and often sported extra limbs and eyes. Whether the minds of the original beings remained separate or fused into a new personality as well as the permanence of the Fusion tended to be randomly determined like most things in these cycles.

The only constant was the need for absolute trust between all parties that fuse.

Fusion was an intimate process as you shared not just a body with someone else, but your mind as well. Thoughts and memories could not be hidden from a Fusion partner. It was an implicit sign of trust, and oftentimes love, to want to fuse with someone.

Forcing two unwilling beings to fuse was possible, but never went over well in Tang’s experience.

Tang didn’t dislike Fusion. It was an incredible experience the few times he had done so with either Pigsy or Wukong. He had never felt so close with anyone as he did when fused with them.

The problem was the curse.

Fusion required trust and the participants working in synchrony to function. His curse made it impossible for anyone except himself to know about it. When fused, his partners would become confused at the strange gaps in Tang’s mind they couldn’t perceive. The disorientation would destabilize the trust between them, causing them to fall out of sync, and result in the Fusion ending prematurely.

The questions he would receive were ones Tang couldn’t answer, and he was usually treated with suspicion and distrust for the remainder of those cycles. The same problem would occur if he refused to fuse at all, as that implied he didn’t trust anyone.

Luckily for Tang, he wasn’t in a romantic relationship with anyone this cycle and hadn’t fused with anyone yet. There was also a precedent this time for some people finding Fusion nauseating, so he could always fall back on that if pushed.

Hoping it wouldn’t even come to that, Tang left his apartment and made his way to work. He began to think of the second change as he walked.

Jin and Yin. The Gold and Silver Demon Brothers.

The two trouble makers loved to spread chaos wherever they went. Even during the rare occasions like now where they were allies. Schemes, pranks, and hijinks were to be expected whenever they were around.

The twins were smart. That was pretty much a given being the former lab assistants of Lao Tzu. Their talent in crafting magical items was impressive by mortal standards.

But just because they were intelligent, didn’t mean they had common sense. The amount of harebrained plots and ideas they had that blew up in their faces due to not thinking everything through was almost comical.

Tang had to admire their tenacity though. Their determination never faltered no matter how many failures they had. This was particularly handy when they were allies.

The twins’ self destructive tendencies usually got smoothed out whenever they befriended the group as well. Tang was genuinely surprised a few times by what they had managed to come up with when given a proper sounding board to help point out problems.

He may not consider Jin and Yin to be a part of his extended family, but Tang couldn’t help but have a soft spot for them. Perhaps, in time, he could include them. Maybe when their redemption became more common in the cycles.

But for now he was perfectly fine with just being their friend.

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The attack came without warning.

They had all been hanging out at Pigsy’s Noodles when multiple explosions went off across the city. Tang wasn’t sure what happened in all the confusion, but he was currently with Jin and Yin, the three of them separated from the others.

They had been trying to find everyone when the twins had suddenly pushed Tang away from them. There was a loud crashing sound and the air was filled with dust.

Coughing and waving away the dust, Tang stood and looked around. As the smoke began to clear, his heart dropped at what he saw.

“Jin! Yin!”

The twins were trapped under the rubble of a partially collapsed building. Jin’s entire left side was stuck under the debris while Yin was pinned from the waist down.

Neither demon had super strength and were completely helpless. They couldn’t even fuse to escape as they were just out of reach of each other and Fusion required contact.

Tang scrambled over the torn apart street and knelt next to the groaning brothers.

“G-go get help Tang,” Jin said, teeth clenched in pain. “We’ll be fine for now.”

“I am not leaving you two here,” Tang said, looking around for anyone to help, but the street was deserted.

“Come on, we’ll be right here when you come back,” Yin said with a strained smile. “I promise we won’t get up and leave.”

Before Tang could scold him for joking, there was another distant explosion followed by a rumbling sound. The three looked up in horror as the remainder of the building began to sway.

“Shit! Tang you need to leave now!” Jin pushed against the concrete trapping him, but made no progress.

Tang’s mind raced.

None of them were strong enough to push the rubble away. He had no time to go get help before the rest of the building fell. Jin and Yin couldn’t grab each other to fuse.

But he could.

Tang reached out and snatched up the hand of each twin.

“Fuse with me!”

“What?!”

“There’s no time! Fuse with me!”

Spurred on by the urgency of his voice, the twins closed their eyes and focused. Tang did the same and the world melted into gold, silver, and yellow light.

Fusing was always an indescribable experience. Tang felt warm as he felt his body stretch out and merge seamlessly with the twins’. He had no idea which physical traits would be picked from each of them, but their appearance was the least of his worries.

When they opened their eyes, they were standing several feet away from the pile of debris, just as the building began to topple.

“Shit! Go go go,” Jin said from their shared mouth.

They quickly dashed away from the area, their much taller stature allowing them to easily outpace the collapsing structure. Their new body didn’t feel strange in any way, and their combined movements came naturally.

‘Damn, I think my legs are broken,’ Yin said in their shared mind once they paused to take a breath. ‘We’ll have to keep this up until we get to a hospital and unfuse inside.’

‘Pretty sure some rebar had stabbed into my side so ditto on that,’ Jin added.

‘That might be a problem...’ Tang’s nervousness caused their stomach to twist.

‘What does that- Oh. Huh. That’s interesting.’ Jin explored the gaps he found in Tang’ mind with curiosity. ‘Hey Yin, take a look at this.’

‘Whoa. Trippy. Haven’t seen a memory-proof seal like this in a while.’ Yin poked at the spaces gingerly, not wishing to be caught completely in its effects.

‘Look at how big it is though,’ Jin said. ‘You are much older than I thought you were Tang.’

‘No, no, no. His body is definitely only 41 years old. So that means his mind is much older.’

‘Time travel?’

‘That usually has the person physically moving through time, so I doubt it.’

‘How are you two not disoriented by this,’ Tang said as they began to move towards the sounds of the explosions.

‘Should we be?’

‘Oh, yeah, I see what you mean,’ Jin said as he found the context for Tang’s confusion.

The demon didn’t vocalize it, but he projected how he found it interesting that he could get the knowledge on Tang’s past experiences with fusions without the full picture.

‘Oof. Forcefully unfusing and being treated as untrustworthy must suck,’ Yin said.

Tang was about to ask how they were being so unconcerned about this when the context came unbidden from their minds.

Lao Tzu had placed his own memory-proof seals on the twins to prevent them from revealing his secrets. They had to deal with it every time they fused.

Along with that knowledge came the feelings of the desperate need for approval and attention from their master, but never receiving it.

Always having their ideas dismissed. Being told their work was never good enough. Belittling their reliance on one another. Outright destroying their inventions at one point.

‘What an ass,’ Tang said vehemently.

He had worked too hard across the cycles to keep MK from drowning in his insecurities. It was insulting to him that someone he had once respected for their vast knowledge would ever treat anyone like that to make them feel this way.

‘I know, right?’

‘Why do you think we left,’ Jin said.

Tang sent over the context that, while he couldn’t tell them how, he had become an accomplished magician and artificer in his own right.

‘We’re going to make him regret ever dismissing you two,’ Tang vowed.

‘You… You want to take us on as students?’

Tang’s righteous protectiveness over how small Yin had sounded shocked the twins as they felt his warmth of comfort envelope them.

‘I would be honored to have you two as students. There is no way I’d ever let my family feel like they are unwanted.’

‘Family?’

Tang let the context for that free as well as the love he felt for his family, which now included his two new students.

They had to stop walking for a moment as Jin’s and Yin’s emotions caused them to start crying. Tang made sure to keep watch from his set of eyes while they were indisposed.

The joy and appreciation they sent his way in silent thanks was returned with his own.

‘Let’s get you two to a hospital.’ They continued to move once they had composed themselves. ‘I would never forgive myself if I let my favorite students perish from a simple collapsing building.’

‘Aren’t we your only students?’

‘Oi! And what do you mean by a “simple collapsing building''? Are you saying there are other ways you’d let us perish?!’

The master and his students bickered playfully back and forth as they looked around for a hospital that had been undamaged in the attack.

Tang may not have been expecting to add the twins to his family this soon, but he knew he wouldn’t regret it. How he felt for them would live on even past the memory erasing effects of the curse.

Jin and Yin returned the sentiment a hundredfold.

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And thus Tang’s family grows in numbers once more! He’s almost completed the whole set by now.

Fusions are an interesting concept and there are plenty of great designs for different combinations out there. While none of them show up in this chapter, I’d like to give a shout out to @winterpower98, @smallpwbbles, @sketchquill, and @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off for their amazing fusion designs! Go check them out!

Don't worry about that bit with the mayor. It's fine.

Next chapter will be another filler! Until then!

[honey-dewey]

How each of the boys deals with beach/ocean shenanigans

Because my life goal is to be a marine biologist and my only place of true peace is the ocean and limiting me to 100 words is fucking cruel. So I just wrote until I felt done. Not 100 words each, obviously, but entertaining nonetheless. 

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Din Djarin: 

Okay so did anyone else see how Din dove in The Heiress? Because that was beautiful. He probably learned to swim late, after he joined the Covert, but once they put him in a pool, he refused to get out. He's an amazing swimmer, even with all that beskar on. 

But we aren’t here to talk about that. We’re here to talk about what happens when you beg him to take you to a water planet because goddammit you’ve been on nothing but dry desert planets or dry ice planets or dry city planets for the longest time now and if you don’t get to put your feet in the water soon, you might kill him. 

He doesn’t understand the appeal. Sure he’s seen the ocean. Woo-hoo it’s a bunch of water. But the way you go peaceful with wonder when you mention it, he’s ready to take a break too. And hey, maybe Grogu can finally see the ocean. So he finds an ocean planet and sets course. And because he’s a stubborn bastard, he won’t tell you where you’re going. 

When you step off the Crest and immediately find nothing but slowly crashing waves and soft shell studded sand (that is black as obsidian because remember, we’re not on earth) you almost cry. Stripping out of your shoes and rolling your pants up to your upper thighs, you wade out into the water, completely ignoring Din’s warning to be careful, he doesn’t know what’s in the water. 

You don’t know how long you stand there, the water licking at your thighs, the soft drag of the waves rolling over and over, the way your feet slowly sink into the blackness of the sand, grounding you to this one spot, this one moment. Eventually, you find that you have a companion. 

Din’s not a wide ocean kind of guy, but for you, he’ll take the armor off (but not the helmet) and come stand beside you, his pants rolled up as well. His are tighter, so the rough edge gets slowly soaked in water, but he doesn’t mind. 

Half an hour of mindless and relaxing standing around in the water later, and you’re ready to explore. Scooping Grogu up and putting him in a baby carrier across your chest, you begin to look for suitable shells to keep aboard the Crest. Again, Din is confused, but doesn’t question it as you walk up and down the same stretch of sand, occasionally bending down and happily pulling a gorgeous shell from the clutches of the water. He wouldn’t be at peace here if he was alone, but you sure as hell would be. Still standing in the water, listening to you babble back and forth with Grogu, the waves occasionally kissing his hands, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he could find peace in your peace. 

Marcus Moreno:

Marcus is not an ocean person, but he’s not not an ocean person, y’know? Sand irritates him, the air smells funny, and it’s usually loud. But he likes the water. If it could be a quiet pool it would be better, but the ocean works too. 

And then he’s put on a boat with you, a still-learning water Heroic (think like. Aquaman), and things change. 

At first, he hates it. A boat that’s tipping constantly may be your thing, considering how much you look like you belong, but it sure as shit ain’t his. You try to teach him some stuff, shouting over the crashing of the waves, but he’s trying too hard not to throw up to really pay attention. 

Then everything settles. The water stops tipping, the boat is still, and you quietly tell him there’s a pod of humpbacks outside. 

He’s terrified when you jump into the water, no oxygen or gear or anything. It’s only when he remembers you can breathe underwater that he stops losing his mind. And when the whales start to breach? Yeah he’s gone. He’s all smiling and laughing when you breach right alongside the whales, and when you get back on board the boat, he’s so incredibly excited. 

So next time, you tell him you’re right above one of the biggest groups of migrating hammerhead sharks ever. He reacts less kindly to that one, even when you dive and tell him it’s perfectly safe. They won’t hurt you. But looking down to see you surrounded by hundreds of great hammerheads, just swimming lazily beside you? Yeah that’s surreal as fuck. 

Max Phillips: 

Ah yes. The resident vampire who hasn’t been to a beach in almost a decade. He can’t go out in the sun, what makes y’all think he’d actually enjoy the beach? Nope, he is not risking his life so he can feel some sand. 

But the beach during the day is completely different from the beach at night, and you are determined to prove it. You blindfold Max, at the expense of many dirty jokes, and drive him to the beach. 

He can smell it before you can, the salt in the air that drifts through the windows and promises all will be right with the world. Then you guys hear it, the soft crash of waves on the shore, the gentle buzz to the air. Finally, you stand Max on the empty beach and remove the blindfold and he can see it. Night darkened waves, the shifting water turning the full moon into a shattered mosaic of light glimmering on the waves. 

For the first time in a long time, he lets himself drown in sensation, in tranquility. It’s been ten long years since he forgot he wasn’t a human being anymore, but with the water licking at his bare feet, he’s completely unaware of his deadness. All he can feel is sand and water and salt and you, holding his hand and looking out with him. 

He’s determined to stay there all night, but you insist on walking, occasionally bending down to grab a shell you see in the darkness. Max is definitely at an advantage here with his night vision, but that’s nothing a flashlight can’t solve. By the time the sun begins to peer over the horizon, you and Max are fast asleep in bed, a small jar of sea shells on your bedside table. 

Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales: 

When I tell you I was excited to write Frankie, oh boy. See, I headcanon him to be like me. Enamored with the ocean since before he can remember. It’s always, always, made him wide eyed with wonder. Aquariums are his safe space, and his favorite animal, above every other living thing on the planet, is sharks. 

He finds peace in knowing they exist, seeing something so powerful be so docile. You’re a marine biologist, and you end up taking him on a caged shark dive. He’s ecstatic, practically vibrating as you take the boat way out where you’re bound to find something good. 

And you do. Everyone else on your team, along with Frankie, is cage diving, but you’re just out there, swimming freely alongside huge Great Whites. They’re so beautiful, and Frankie nearly cries when you coax said shark to the side of the cage so he can run his hand over the shark’s wide belly.

His next dive is a general reef dive, just you and him. Beaches aren’t his thing, there’s too little activity, so you take him out on a reef. He’s smiling the entire time, swimming alongside fish the size of his arm and manta rays with a wingspan bigger than his. But the best part is the reef sharks. Black Tips, no longer than four or five feet. They crowd Frankie and make him laugh as he actually pets their bellies. Suddenly, he’s surrounded by sharks who all want the same thing. Scritches. 

His third dive is open ocean, and you don’t tell him what you’re diving with. He gets in the water, turns around, and immediately starts to cry tears of joy. His favorite shark, his absolute favorite, is swimming lazily behind him. The Whale Shark. It’ll be hell to get him out of the water later, but in that moment, you want nothing more than to see that smile, wide enough to show off his dimple. 

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels:

Jack Daniels is not an ocean person by any means. He’s an open fields kind of man, where he can look up at the Montana night sky and feel like he’s two inches tall, surrounded by mountains and plains. But his latest mission with you takes him to Hawaii, and he ain’t mad about it. 

The first few days, you spend hours on the beach alone. Jack stays indoors, not able to be persuaded out with you. Finally, he’s forced to go to the beach with you because of the mission, and he complains all morning long. You simply roll your eyes and put on your bathing suit and floppy hat. 

Beach time lasts much longer than anticipated. The target won’t be there for a while, but you wanted to relax before working, so you settle in a beach chair with a nice book and get to reading while Jack grumbles about sand in his shoes. 

BUT, dear reader I would be cruel if I made Jack unhappy, so while he may not be a beach person, he is very much a you person. Once you stand to go shelling, wrapped in that teasing black and white swimsuit and flowy white cover up, he’s by your side with minimal complaints. 

Turns out, Jack Daniels’s whip quick reflexes are good for grabbing shells before they’re stolen by the water. You and him get an impressive collection going, eyeing your target the entire time. By the time you have your intel, Jack’s actually enjoying himself and almost doesn’t want to leave. 

The next morning, he’s red as a tomato from sunburn and vows to never go to the beach again. You laugh, and you and him spend the day indoors, sorting through your shell collection and rubbing aloe on Jack’s red shoulders. (Yeah he’s going shirtless all day. You ain’t mad about it.)

Ezra: 

It’s a headcanon of mine, and I’ve mentioned it before, that Ezra grew up an orphan. He lived in a state house until he was 18, which is when he began to prospect. He’s been all over the galaxy, but never been to a water planet. Long story short, he’s never seen a beach. Or an ocean. Or anything bigger than a small pond. 

After the Green, you decide to spoil him and take him and Cee to an ocean planet for some time off. He has no idea where you’re going, but he’s excited nonetheless. 

The planet is almost 90% water, with vast underground caves and beautiful beaches. You land on one of those beaches and when Ezra steps out of your transport pod, he immediately starts to cry. 

Cee’s seen an ocean before, but it’s been a while, so she immediately rushes past Ezra and jumps into the water. Watching her splash around in the gently crashing waves is like bliss, and it makes you smile. 

But Ezra, oh boy Ezra. He’s transfixed, standing with the water lapping at his ankles and his face slack as he takes in the vastness of it all. Eventually, you convince him into the water. He can’t swim, so you guide him out to a safe depth and hold his hand tight as he floats on his back. He’s so calm, so at ease that it’s almost scary. 

That night, he doesn’t want to go inside. The setting sun makes the ocean orange, and you finally manage to get him in. You pop a window open to allow the salty air into the pod, lulling you to sleep and putting Ezra at ease. 

Shane ‘Dio’ Morrissey: 

Dio will literally never admit he loves the beach. Never. He’s a bad boy! He can’t love anything! 

Except for sea turtles. He really fucking loves sea turtles. He can name all seven species by heart, he’s got a beautiful teal blue bracelet that he wears all the time that has a turtle bead and he got when he ‘adopted’ a green turtle, he has two turtle tattoos, and he’s absolutely a huge turtle geek whenever you take him to the aquarium.

Which is how you learn he’s that in love with turtles. You take him to an aquarium on a date, and he sits in front of the turtle tank for almost an hour. It’s actually kinda cute. 

So you take him to the beach, a beautiful beach with not many people and, according to the locals, is a turtle nesting site. You and Dio mess around for a while, until the night falls and you sit him in the back of your truck. He’s almost mad you won’t let him leave, at least, right up until the turtles come out. 

He’s a kid in a candy store, all lit up and giddy as the turtles come out to lay their eggs. It’s a dream for him, and when one of the locals asks if you two want to say hi to the turtles, he’s up immediately. 

Two months later, you and Dio return to the same beach, eager to help the baby turtles into the water. Yet again, the outer hard boy shell falls away, leaving you with the soft and giggly Dio that you adore. 

From that day on, your phone background is a photo of Dio holding one of the baby turtles, a warm and genuine grin on his face. 

Javier Peña: 

What makes you think Javier has time to go to the beach? He hasn’t been in literal years, ever since he headed to Columbia. 

But, when he’s home? You manage to get him some time off and take him out to the gulf for a few days. It’s crowded, sure, and that sets his anxiety off big time, but he’s in Texas, not Columbia, and you’re by his side the entire time. 

You manage to find a nice spot away from people to relax on, laying in the sand for hours. No stress, no mess, no looming threat of death, no nothing. 

In the evening, once most of the people go away, you and Javier start to walk along the shore, holding your shoes and each other’s hands. Javier picks up a beautiful multicolored shell, all dappled with beiges and whites and hints of purple. It’s gorgeous, and you immediately slip it onto a necklace you were wearing. 

You manage to one up Javier when you find a brown shell. On the surface, it’s not much. But under the setting sun, it’s beautiful, streaked through with lighter browns and shining ambers. You hand it to Javier, and he immediately tells you it’s boring. At which you tell him it reminds you of his eyes, a deceptively simple brown at first, and then a mesmerizing whiskey amber once you study them. 

Yeah, he tears up at that. 

Maxwell Lord: 

Yet another man who is not a beach person. He hates sand so much he’ll forgo the entire beach experience, because as we all know, he a drama queen. However, unlike Jack, Maxwell is loud about his dislike of the beach. 

Finally, he gets dragged out for a business opportunity and has to spend almost four whole days at the beach. You best be ready for the entire month leading up to the trip to be a whole bunch of complaining. The plane ride out is blissfully quiet, and when he sees the beach, he’s no longer completely insufferable. 

However, you quickly learn that while your dear Max is not a beach person, he likes the ocean. He’s all for getting on a boat and spending the day on the water. Which is exactly what you two do. He’s sensitive to the sun, but he’ll sit in it with you if you want. 

Eventually, you convince him to get in the water. You expected him to be a decent swimmer, not great but not horrible. But then he jumps into the ocean with no life vest and you’re freaking the hell out until you watch his form. He’s a damn natural. And he’s so happy it’s almost scary. He’s in the water for almost an hour, and when he comes out, it’s only for a quick snack. 

That night, you two sit on the beach, much to Max’s complaining. But he’s beside you and his hair is still stiff from the saltwater, so he’s happy, despite the whining.