#but found evidence of a horrible struggle instead

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Haven’t done one of these in forever but he’s fun and I wanted to draw them.

Template is from @poncivalpishpuff and Giuseppe Lama

[leclercsbunny]

maybe if you loved me ♡ c. sainz

part five ♡ masterlist

anasainzvdec posted a story 12m ago

blanca watches you convene with ana animatedly, nodding and laughing along with the both of you as per usual, though she held an air of reservation and restraint, being deep in thought.

"sorry, i have an urge to use the restroom again." you sheepishly cut through her story.

"again? your bladder's gotten small or something?" ana comments amusedly.

"let me go with you." blanca stands up from her seat, making a face. "i think the oj got to me aswell." you gestured towards her smugly, as if to tell ana; look, i'm not alone in my struggles.

"fine, but hurry back." she playfully rolls her eyes.

blanca hooks her arm around yours, and you both depart to the restroom. you made small talk on the way, and went to do your business separately.

when you left the stall to wash your hands, blanca was already there. she looked as if she was... waiting for you. she looked serious, and somehow, bothered.

"is everything alright?" you ask her, feeling your heart drop.

"i say this out of the love i have for you and carlos." blanca utters slowly, watching your expression change. "but does he know?"

"i don't know what you're talking about, blanca." you wave her off, suddenly turning defensive.

"i'm sorry if i'm overstepping... but i cannot help but notice all these, very subtle tells." she says softly, not wanting you to get agitated. "you're suddenly queasy when it comes to certain foods, and you're drawn to sweets. like, crazy partial to them. you use the bathroom often, your waist is just.." she measures it with her hand. "and i think we've cultivated a friendship comfortable enough for a brazen comment about the evident size of your... nether regions."

"blanca," you hiss, feeling your cheeks warm with both embarassment and indignance, as you cover your body from her all knowing gaze. "i don't like what you're implying."

"and you didn't drink coffee. you need your coffee, you're like a.." she sniffles, suddenly finding it difficult to maintain her own composure, "fish when you drink those latte's."

"why are you crying?" you push her shoulders, feeling your own nose itch from the buildup of emotions threatening to just spill and topple the both of you. "this is your own freaking fault that we're having this conversation. be woman enough to finish it."

"you're pregnant." she said it with certainty, eyes welling up with tears, she didn't know wether from happiness or sadness. maybe both. it was supposed to be a joyful moment, one which had been your dream for such a long time. but instead your eyes were both red from the complexities of your current emotions, the information tainted with the knowledge of your current realities. "how far long?" she asks.

"still not sure." you rectify with a broken voice, wiping your tears away. "i took some pt, but i've been delaying the blood tests."

"makes sense," blanca reaches out to grasp your shaky hands, "what do you plan to do?"

"i don't know." you reply honestly. "i can only ever think about matteo, and.. and..." you shake your head resolutely, "i don't want anything to change with him."

"things are going to change, but it doesn't always mean a bad one." she tells you, "i know you're at odds with carlos, but— will you tell him?"

you shake your head, "he doesn't need to know." yet even you found it hard to believe.

"he's the father, y/n." blanca reminds you softly, "i know he's done something horrible, and there's no reason to his actions.... but it will crush him."

"he has a very fickle sense of loyalty, and i'm tired of waiting for him to change." you reply. "i don't need his wavering devotion in my baby's life. please understand me, blanca." you tell her pleadingly.

f1chai the carlos-yn-daniel drama bubbles over with more controversy as yn is embroiled in a shocking pregnancy scandal. spanish news outlets broke the news over the weekend, claiming the spaniard's long time, now ex girlfriend, has secretly been seeing one of the best child-rearing physician in madrid— neither carlos, nor daniel have been accompanying her, but one of the sainz' sister was discreetly pictured on one of her visits. this led many to speculate that yn is indeed with child, and have been for some time. the question of wether it is sainz's or ricciardo's have yet to be answered. the parties involved had declined to comment on this matter.

username what the fuck

username IS CARLOS A SHARP HITTER OR SOMETHING ?!?

username am not believing this until further notice

username LIES !! character defaming ones !! SUE EVERYONE !!

username LAWSUIT LAWSUIT LAWSUIT

username seriously why the fuck are people following her anyways...

username right !! she's a normal citizen and these people are all up in her business 🙄

username seriously. let the girl breathe fs

username wrong on so many levels

username this is better than any telenovalas 😭😭

username who's the daddy ? 🤨

username MAMMA MIA ??

username are we even doubting carlos... that man has a whole ass son

username just why? yn already had it good 😭😭😭

username she was running then tripped

username on sainz's lap...

username have to give it to him. well done !!

username get the bag i guess !!

username yeah 😭😭 atleast her baby daddy isn't some brokie 😭😭

username he's a cheater though

username **serial cheater

username 😭😭😭😭

[poisonpercy]

Ok, I’ve been thinking about how pjo is a disability story and how wottg did such a horrible job handling it. There’s been plenty said about how wottg equates Percy’s poor grades, due to school struggles thanks to his ADHD and dyslexia, with his intelligence. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate more on that because plenty already have. Instead, I want to talk about Annabeth.

So in wottg (and cotg), we are constantly told that Annabeth excels in school. But when it comes to how her academic success correlates with her having ADHD and dyslexia, they're basically nonexistent. At most, they are brought up to show disbelief, as in "despite having both ADHD and dyslexia, Annabeth gets good grades, unlike Percy." Obviously, I'm summarizing, but that sentiment is expressed more than once. There's no talks on how Annabeth's disabilities effect her, but the original pjo books do make mentions of how she struggles. I feel like it's still important to actually show how having ADHD and dyslexia interacts in Annabeth's life. And this can be done in regards to Annabeth getting good grades!!

Just to expand more on ADHD before I get into everything. There are 3 subtypes of ADHD. When someone's diagnosed, it's not just ADHD, but also the subtype. These subtypes are as followed (also here's the DSM-5 criteria for ADHD if you're interested):

Predominately inattentive type -> when enough symptoms (6 or more) of inattention, but not hyperactivity-impulsivity, were present for the past 6 months

Predominately hyperactive/impulsive type -> enough symptoms (6 or more) of hyperactivity-impulsivity but not inattention were present for the past 6 months

Combined type -> when enough symptoms of both criteria inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity were present for the past 6 months

With those in mind, it's important to note that research has found that girls are more likely to have the inattentive type of ADHD. Additionally, ADHD tends to be underdiagnosed in girls, and a potential explanation for this is differences in core symptomatic presentation between males and females. Research suggests that females are more disposed to internalized symptoms, such as inattentiveness and disorganization, and present with fewer symptoms of hyperactivity and other disruptive external behaviors. Males with ADHD are prone to more externalized hyperactive-impulsive symptoms, such as motor hyperactivity, rule-breaking and overt aggression, which results in greater likelihood of being identified and referred for clinical assessment (Morley & Tyrrell, 2023).

When it comes to academic performance, ADHD is significantly associated with poor academic functioning across the lifespan, from school readiness to going to university. However, there is evidence to suggest that females with ADHD do not present with academic difficulties until they reach higher education. Girls with ADHD may work harder at school to mask their symptoms and meet parent/teacher expectations. But, in higher educational settings, such as university, it becomes increasingly difficult to cope with the struggles of ADHD amongst other lifestyle changes, such as moving away from home and taking on greater personal responsibilities (Morley & Tyrrell, 2023).

The authors I’ve been referencing (Morley & Tyrrell) did research and they found that many of the symptoms which affected participants academic functioning correspond with the literature review of ADHD in university students presented by Sedgwick (2018), including inability to focus, easily distracted, boredom, and lack of motivation. However, despite struggling with these symptoms and despite the wealth of literature which suggests that ADHD is associated with poor educational outcomes, most participants in the study concluded by Morley & Tyrrell stated that they did not perform badly when they were at school (ages 5–16).

I would like to briefly stop the academic talk and say that this is Annabeth. As far as we’ve seen, she does good in school. Do I necessarily agree that Annabeth should get good grades? The answer is complicated. On one hand, I don’t care. On the other, Annabeth didn’t attend school from the age of 7 (when she ran away) to 12 (she went back, presumably, at 13 when she reunited with her dad). I would imagine CHB didn’t focus too much on keeping up with each camper’s grade level, so Annabeth, by all accounts, would be missing fundamental years of schooling and it would be hard to catch up. All of that is beside the point. The point being, Annabeth’s ADHD doesn’t lead to poor academic performance which reflects the experience many girls with ADHD have.

Intense feelings of low self-esteem resonated throughout participants’ experiences. Poor self-esteem is very common amongst females with ADHD (Holthe & Langvik, 2017; Quinn, 2005), triggered by feelings of failure and “not being good enough.” Low self-esteem has a knock-on effect on an individual’s social, academic, and psychological functioning. Participants explained that having low self-esteem negatively impacted many different aspects of their life, including body image, eating habits, confidence at school, romantic relationships, and close friendships (Morley & Tyrrell, 2023).

With all that being said, I do think there are ways to show how Annabeth's ADHD effects her, besides making a passing comment that she was it. In terms of school, it would be interesting to explore how entering higher difficulty course might make it harder for Annabeth to cope with the struggles of ADHD. Maybe have her struggle with time management and disorganization because of the increased work load. In classes that she isn't interested in, maybe she can be inattentive and miss out what the teacher is going over or what work is being assigned. If you don't want to go the academic route, Annabeth's ADHD can very easily impact her social and psychological functioning. While Annabeth is prideful (it's her fatal flaw after all), she could struggle with self-esteem, and it can correspond with her trying to measure up to what it means to be a child of Athena. As in, no matter how hard she tries, she feels like she is failing with her godly gifts. Socially, Annabeth might struggle to maintain relations with classmates and teachers, or she might have difficulties with group work. Even more so, to get back on the academic track, maybe Annabeth is good at masking her ADHD which makes it hard for her to get the help she needs from teachers because they underestimate the problem(s) she is having.

Anyways, this is all just suggestions on how Annabeth's ADHD might present, especially since Rick seems to dismiss her diagnosis. I would also like to see more of Annabeth struggling with her dyslexia because we do know that she has trouble reading thanks to The Lightning Thief. Attending a mortal school, like she is now, probably presents a lot more challenges for her when it comes to reading and writing since it's unlikely that SODNYC is handing out books and assignments in Ancient Greek.

Idk, I hope this gives something for people to think about in regards to Annabeth and ADHD. Granted, I am not a professional (hence all the sources) nor do I have ADHD, but ADHD presentation is males and females is just so interesting. I learned about the differences for the first time when I was a senior in high school when a classmate of mine did a presentation on the topic during my college writing class. Then when I was a sophomore in college, I took abnormal child psychology which went more in depth on ADHD. That's where I learned about the 3 subtypes and how girls more commonly have inattentive type. Also, in case you were wondering, combined is the most common type of ADHD. Anyways, that's it. That's my post.

[geotjwrs]

beside you

Pairings ; Jenna Ortega x Male!Reader

Warning/s ; angsty

The Beetlejuice set was buzzing with its usual quirky energy. Jenna Ortega was thrilled to be back, especially since she would be working with Y/N again. They had a blast filming Scream 6, and she was looking forward to the same camaraderie on this set. But as the days went by, she noticed Y/N was different.

Instead of his usual lively and humorous self, he seemed withdrawn and tense. He was constantly checking his phone, his shoulders slumped, eyes red from what Jenna could only assume was crying. His transformation was so stark that Jenna couldn't ignore it any longer.

One day, during a lunch break, Jenna decided to confront him. She found Y/N sitting alone in his trailer, staring blankly at his phone. The sight of him looking so defeated was heart-wrenching.

"Hey, Y/N," she said, knocking softly before stepping inside. "Mind if I join you?"

Y/N looked up, startled, quickly wiping his eyes. "Oh, Jenna. Sure, come in," he replied, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Jenna sat down next to him, her concern evident. "I've noticed you've been really down lately. What's going on? You can talk to me."

Y/N sighed, shoulders slumping even further. "It's just... everything's been overwhelming lately."

"Y/N, you can tell me. Maybe I can help," Jenna said, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

He hesitated, looking down at his phone. "It's these comments online. People have been saying such horrible things about me. It's like no matter what I do, I can't escape the negativity. It's gotten to the point where I'm seriously considering quitting the movie."

Jenna's eyes widened in shock. "What? No, Y/N, you can't quit. You're an amazing actor and an even better person. Don't let those comments get to you."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, spilling over despite his efforts to hold them back. "It's hard, Jenna. It feels like I'm constantly being torn down. I don't know if I can keep doing this."

Jenna scooted closer, wrapping her arms around him in a firm hug. "You're not alone in this. You have me and the rest of the cast and crew. We all see how incredible you are."

Y/N leaned into her embrace, finding some solace in her presence. "Thank you, Jenna. It means a lot to hear that from you."

She pulled back slightly, looking into his eyes. "You're stronger than you think, Y/N. And you're not alone. I'm here for you, always."

For a moment, they sat in silence, the weight of Y/N's struggles hanging heavy in the air. Jenna took a deep breath, gathering her courage. "I've wanted to tell you this for a while now. I have feelings for you, Y/N. Real, deep feelings."

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise. "Jenna, I... I feel the same way. I've just been too scared to say anything."

A small, relieved smile spread across Jenna's face. "We don't have to be scared anymore. We can face this together."

Y/N nodded, a faint smile breaking through his sadness. "Together."

With Jenna's support, Y/N slowly began to find his footing again. Her presence on set was a constant source of comfort and strength, helping him to focus on his work rather than the negativity online. They spent their breaks together, sharing laughs and comforting words, their bond growing stronger with each passing day.

One afternoon, during a particularly challenging scene, Y/N found himself struggling. The pressure and the memories of the hateful comments threatened to overwhelm him. Jenna noticed immediately and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"You've got this, Y/N," she whispered. "I believe in you."

Y/N looked into her eyes, finding the courage he needed. "Thanks, Jen."

With her support, he pushed through the scene, delivering a performance that left everyone in awe. The director clapped enthusiastically, praising Y/N's dedication and talent.

As the day came to an end, Y/N and Jenna sat together, watching the sunset from the set. The sky was painted with hues of orange and pink, a beautiful end to a challenging day.

"I couldn't have done it without you, Jenna," Y/N said softly, his heart full of gratitude and love.

Jenna smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. "We make a pretty good pair, don't we?"

Y/N chuckled, wrapping an arm around her. "The best."

One night, after a long day of shooting, Y/N and Jenna found themselves in the quiet of his trailer. Jenna was flipping through a script, while Y/N was trying to relax by playing a game on his phone. Despite his efforts to unwind, the memory of the hurtful comments lingered in his mind.

Jenna glanced over at him, noticing his furrowed brow. "Hey, what's on your mind?"

Y/N sighed, putting his phone down. "Just those stupid comments again. They keep creeping back in."

Jenna set the script aside and moved closer. "You need a distraction. How about a joke?"

Y/N raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Alright, hit me."

"What do you call the security guard of Samsung?" Jenna asked, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Y/N shrugged. "I don't know. What?"

"Guardians of the galaxy!" Jenna delivered the punchline with a dramatic flourish.

Y/N couldn't help but laugh, the tension easing from his shoulders. "Okay, that was pretty good."

Jenna grinned, pleased with herself. "See? Sometimes you just need to lighten up a bit."

They spent the next few minutes trading jokes and funny stories, the laughter helping to lift Y/N's spirits. The bond between them felt stronger than ever, a reminder that they were in this together.

The next morning, the sun streamed through the curtains of the trailer, waking them gently. Jenna opened her eyes to find Y/N already awake, watching her with a tender smile.

"Morning," he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"Morning," she replied, snuggling closer. "Ready for another day on set?"

Y/N laughed softly. "Absolutely. Bring it on."

They got up, ready to face the new day, their hearts light and their spirits high. The challenges they had faced together had only made them stronger, and their love was a beacon guiding them through any storm.

As they stepped out onto the bustling set, hand in hand, they knew that no matter what the future held, they would face it together. Their love was unbreakable, a testament to their resilience and strength.

Later that day, they were shooting a particularly complex scene. Y/N's character had to deliver a long monologue, something that had always come naturally to him before. But now, with the weight of recent events hanging over him, he found it difficult to focus.

Jenna noticed his unease and quietly approached him between takes. "Hey, you okay?"

Y/N nodded, though his expression said otherwise. "Just a bit nervous, I guess."

Jenna squeezed his hand, offering a reassuring smile. "You're going to nail this. Just remember, you're an amazing actor. You've got this."

Her words gave him the confidence boost he needed. When the director called for action, Y/N delivered his lines with such passion and intensity that the entire set fell silent. When the scene ended, the crew erupted in applause, and the director couldn't stop praising him.

Y/N felt a sense of accomplishment and relief wash over him. He looked at Jenna, who was beaming with pride. She mouthed, "I told you so," and he couldn't help but laugh.

As the days turned into weeks, Y/N's confidence continued to grow. With Jenna by his side, he felt invincible. They spent their evenings together, often talking late into the night about everything and nothing.

One evening, after a particularly grueling day of filming, they found themselves alone on set. The crew had wrapped up and gone home, leaving the two of them in the quiet, dimly lit space.

Y/N was sitting on a prop bench, looking out at the empty set, lost in thought. Jenna approached him, her footsteps echoing in the stillness.

"Hey," she said softly, sitting down beside him. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Y/N sighed, turning to face her. "I was just thinking about how much things have changed. How much you've helped me."

Jenna smiled, reaching for his hand. "You've come a long way, Y/N. I'm proud of you."

He squeezed her hand, a grateful smile playing on his lips. "I couldn't have done it without you. You've been my rock."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the bond between them growing ever stronger. Jenna knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together.

As the stars began to twinkle in the night sky, Jenna took Y/N's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Promise me something, Y/N."

"Anything," he replied, looking into her eyes.

"Promise me you'll never let those comments get to you again. You're so much more than what they say. You're talented, kind, and so loved."

Y/N smiled, his heart swelling with love for the woman beside him. "I promise, Jenna. As long as I have you, I can face anything."

Jenna's eyes sparkled with tears of happiness. "And you always will."

They leaned in, their lips meeting in a tender kiss that spoke of love, support, and a future filled with hope. Together, they were unstoppable, their love a force stronger than any negativity that came their way.

[thirstyformoreheizuha]

-Heiji girl dad au.

One of the most horrible cases that Heiji solved was the murder of a young little girl who was barely five years old. The three suspects were the mother, the father and the live-in nanny of the little girl.

Murder cases always had a suspenseful air that he grew used to, but nothing compared to this. The mother wept and howled for her dead daughter. The father sobbed and was barely coherent during the interrogation. The nanny kept staring into blank space and the police struggled to get her attention.

Truly, a horrifying case.

The little girl was found in her bed, a knife to her chest. Despite being surrounded by dolls and plushies, forensics informed them that the little girl desperately hugged one particular toy in the brink of death : a Barbie doll.

Heiji kept staring at that bloodied Barbie doll, feeling a sense that he recognised it, but couldn't put a name to it.

He tried focusing on other aspects. But nothing helped. It was a locked room murder, and they still haven't found any key evidence such as the clothes the murderer was wearing. The suspects were all too out of it to get any more info.

But seriously, he knows he's seen that Barbie doll.

Forensics were finally done tracing and taking photographic evidence, so they began extracting the lifeless body. The mother's screams grew hysterical and the father wept louder and fell to his knees as their little girl was taken away.

Truly, he could only look away solemnly to prevent himself from imagining his own daughter in such a state.

Please, never.

He noticed an officer about to put away the bloodied Barbie doll into a ziplock bag.

"Excuse me, can I have a look?"

After wearing his gloves, he took the doll and inspected it. In true Barbie fashion, it had blonde hair, wore a pink dress and a pink tiara. The only noticeable difference is that this Barbie had a microphone in her hand and a built in necklace.

Wait, a built in necklace?

He realised something and pressed the heart shaped necklace.

A song played.

Everyone in the room stared at him as the Barbie doll in his hand started singing a song he's heard before.

He knew this doll. He knew which Barbie movie this doll was from.

A few months ago, Kazuha and their daughter were having a Barbie movie marathon in the living room and dragged him along. Despite his initial protests, they were able to shut him up by shoving some homemade Okonomiyaki into his mouth. One movie stood out to him because their daughter basically held a concert while watching the movie; Barbie the Princess and the Popstar.

And during a visit to the toy shop last week, she managed to secretly show him a Barbie doll she wanted before Kazuha caught her red-handed.

"Ya already have so many dolls at home"

"But Mama! It's Princess Tori!"

"Nope. Auntie Sonoko just bought ya a Barbie doll the other day. And YA BARELY EVEN PLAY WITH IT!"

"Papa!! Help me out please 🥺"

Heiji took one look at Kazuha's glare.

"Sorry Princess. Your Mama wins"

Their daughter looked at him with such an adorable sad face that he almost gave in. Luckily, Kazuha snatched the doll from his hands in time before walking away to place it back on the shelf.

As Heiji carried their crying daughter and rubbed her back to calm her down, Kazuha walked next to him outside the store.

"Trust me, she's not going to remember that doll at all when we get home"

And sure enough, when they reached home, their daughter turned on Youtube on their smart tv and watched Kpop girl group music videos instead.

"Papa, I like Le sserafim"

"Hmm? Why so?"

"Because Mama's in it"

"Hah?"

Kazuha laughed before explaining to him that one of the members is also named Kazuha. And just like the wonder of childlike innocence, her current favourite K-pop group is simply based on the fact that a member has the same name as her mother.

"How did she even found them?"

"I don't know. I looked away for just half an hour to cook dinner and then suddenly she's now a Le sserafim stan"

" ..... I'll try coming home earlier to reduce her screen time"

Suddenly, he realised the nanny's name: Hirai Tori.

Suddenly, it all clicked together and he started noticing little bits and details that he initially looked over because they were too circumstantial.

And sure enough, within minutes, he figured out where the evidence was and how she managed to perform an almost perfect locked room murder.

Almost.

When he cornered her with his deductions, the nanny stared at him wide eyed and her feet gave away "H-How?"

"I won't deny that you planned all of this really well. Unfortunately for ya, the one thing that gave you away was this Barbie doll"

"that Barbie doll?"

Heiji felt a prick of annoyance. "What the? You're her nanny and ya don't even know her toys? Ahou, this Barbie is a Princess Tori doll"

"Tori???" The nanny asked in rage.

The father, who barely managed to calm down, asked with a strained voice "so, our daughter was trying to tell us who killed her?"

Heiji contemplated whether to tell them the truth.

"THAT LITTLE BIT*H. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M CAUGHT BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID DOLL"

The nanny lunged towards Heiji but the police were quick to restrain her.

"Even after death, that little monster still manages to ruin my life"

"No. You're wrong"

Heiji looked at her dead in the eyes.

"She's just a kid. She wasn't trying to ruin anything. It's simply the childlike innocence of hugging the one toy that reminds her of her beloved nanny for comfort "

After a moment of silence, the murderer was finally dragged away from the scene hysterically laughing at the irony of the situation. The parents broke down further into tears, holding each other in a futile attempt to console each other.

He heard some officers whisper of the possibility to make the murderer take a psychopath test, but for now he's exhausted and just wanted to go home.

To his own little girl.

..............................

"Tadaima"

"Okaeri" Immediately Heiji was caught off guard by a fluff of pink running into his arms.

"Woah there Princess!" he caught his daughter and lifted her up.

"Papa you're back! You can become Prince Charming and save me from the monster!"

"Who are you calling a monster you little brat?"

The girl shrieked and hugged Heiji's neck to hide her face while Heiji laughed watching his favourite two girls.

"Welcome home" Kazuha smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Dinner?"

He nodded with a smile and three of them ate with the usual scenario of the little Princess chattering away whatever adventure she had today. However, Kazuha noticed that Heiji seemed a bit distracted whilst responding to whatever it is their daughter was saying.

In the background, the night-time news started airing on tv and the news reporter began reporting on a murder case of a little girl that happened just a few hours ago in Osaka.

Despite the tv being on low volume, Kazuha's sharp hearing caught the news reporter stating that the young girl was murdered by her nanny whom police suspected was a psychopath.

"Turn it off. Please"

Kazuha was surprised that the father-daughter conversation was interrupted by the sudden request, but she noticed him clenching his fists.

Oh.

That was his case.

Their daughter seemed unfazed by her mother getting up to turn off the tv or her father's tense face. She gobbled up the last remaining pieces of her meal and drank from her sippy cup.

"Papa! I'm done! Let's play!"

Heiji snapped out of whatever daze he was in. "What? Oh. Alright. But let me help Mama with the dishes first okay?"

Their daughter was about to pout before her mother came back to the table. "It's okay Heiji, I can handle the dishes"

"But.." Heiji looked at Kazuha in confusion. Kazuha smiled and whispered to him to go.

He looked at her once again.

She knew.

She knew exactly what was bothering him.

He thanked the lucky stars for the angel of his wife.

"Okay Princess. Let's go fight that big bad dragon you were telling me earlier"

"Yeayy!" Heiji picked his daughter up from her seat and carried her to the sink to wash their hands together. After drying off their hands, they start heading towards the living room.

On their way, Heiji managed to sneak a little kiss on Kazuha's head and a soft 'thank you'.

..............................

That night, for the first time in a long while, Kazuha suggested a 'sleepover' and have their daughter sleep together on their bed instead of in her own bedroom.

The little girl was delighted to be held in between both of her parents under their warm blanket. After a good night kiss from Mama and Papa, she drifted away to dreamland and slept soundly.

Heiji, who held his family close in his arms gazed at the two people he loves the most. He brushed his thumb over Kazuha's cheek gently, which prompted her to look up towards him sleepily.

"Kazuha"

"hmm?"

"Love you"

Kazuha smiled and held his hand that was holding her cheek. A few moments later, he watched as his wife also fell into slumber without letting go of his hands.

Truly, it was a horrible case that would likely continue to haunt him for the rest of his career. But for now, with his wife and daughter safe in his arms, he's going to be okay.

--------------------------------

I think I read somewhere before that in Japan, it's quite rare for people to actually say "I love you" literally even between parents and children. Something about saying "I love you" too often takes away the sanctity and meaning of it.

I kept going back and forth on whether Heiji would say 'thank you' or 'love you' before falling asleep because it is even rarer for men to directly express their affection verbally.

But you know what, I believe this case took a heavy toll on Heiji who he himself is now a father to his own little girl. And despite trying to (kinda?) hide it, Kazuha still caught on that the case disturbed him and so tried to calm Heiji's nerves by making him stay close to their daughter in small but subtle manners.

And I think that the subtleness is exactly what Heiji needed to calm down on his own instead of direct words and affection.

It would comfort him more to see his daughter jumping around and having fun with his own eyes instead of having someone tell him that their daughter is safe verbally.

Hence, the "love you" had a deeper meaning of thank you for understanding me. Thank you for knowing exactly what I needed. Thank you for being patient. Thank you for marrying me. I love you and I'm truly grateful for you. God damn I should have confessed earlier.

GOSHO AOYAMA MAKE THEM CONFESS PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU.

[taking-a-raincheck]

3, 4, 5, and 6 for the STP ask game? :D

Hello hello! Thanks for the ask :]

3: favorite vessel

Oh dang, there's so many to choose from uhhhhh... do you mind if I list my four favorites instead? I have a big soft spot for Eye of the Needle w/ Hunted as (I think) my first vessel ever, also I love love love how our voices manage to work together to finally defeat the Princess on our own terms. Same deal for Den at first, now I love her for both the voices' dynamics and the insanely incredible turns her route takes no matter what you do. I love the new Fury for the pain she finally manages to share with us, also the new body horror in that route is one of the only times I found myself genuinely speechless (and genuinely freaked out 😅). Finally, the Stranger princess from Strange Endings is my baby and I want to hug her and spin her around and tell her I love her so so much 🥺

4: least favorite vessel and what would redeem her in my eyes

My least favorite vessel would probably have to be Tower 😅 sorry Tower fans. I'm just really not a fan of the way you have to submit and debase yourself completely in order for her to not horribly injure you, but she only has a tiny bit of respect for you if you fight back despite all that. Razor and Nightmare sort of fall into the same category, but I find that you're able to sympathize significantly more with both of them than with Tower. I know that Apotheosis definitely makes Tower more sympathetic, but I wish there was a bit more of her struggling evident in her main chapter for us to empathize with.

5: favorite voice

Hero. No contest. He's my (other) baby, my specialest most amazing boy and I love him immensely 🥰 However, I also have extra-soft spots in my heart for Hunted, Paranoid, Cheated, and Contrarian (in that order).

6: least favorite voice and what would redeem him in my eyes

I honestly don't dislike any of the voices, but my least favorite voice would have to be Smitten. He just seems to be particularly one-note, often either in an unhelpful or a straight-up bad/unhealthy way, even when compared to any of the other voices. I think I'd like him quite a lot more if we'd got to see more of the caring, nurturing side of his loving nature, both in relation to the Princess and to the other voices.

I hope this answered your questions adequately 😁

[eroguron0nsense]

Marineford is basically just the really ambitious dark what-if bad ending for Water Seven/Enies Lobby (ONE PIECE SPOILERS)

Let's review: you've got two victims imprisoned and awaiting execution for supposed crimes against the world government. Their supposed offences are inextricably tied to the nature of their existence through absolutely no fault of their own. Neither of them think they particularly deserve to be alive and are horrified that the people they love–whose lives they value way more than their own–are facing near certain death to rescue them. Like, to the extent they're both begging to be abandoned and left for dead as they're chained up and helpless, watching good people struggling and falling one by one in the struggle to save them and the situation getting more and more dire. Both have a moment where they have a breakthrough and express that in spite of all their trauma and suicidal self hatred, they want to live and seek joy and meaning with Luffy and their respective crews as it becomes evident that their loved ones will take on the world to get them out.

The difference is just that in Water Seven, you have dozens of really hype moments and everything is cathartic and saving Robin is arguably the greatest moment of triumph in the series. Everyone you think might die gets saved by deus ex machinas (Sodom and Gomorrah, the Franky family, the Straw Hats themselves). In Marineford, we get to watch Ace's friends die in front of him and we watch him scream as the Whitebeards suffer for him; Oars is kind of a perfect microcosm of this who literally has his body trampled over in the effort to rescue him. The brief moment of catharsis you get when he's almost rescued gets shattered with his murder, and then we end on a desperate rush to get Luffy out alive because he's so exhausted and traumatized he can't fight any more. It's one of the biggest downer endings to any arc in fiction and it's made doubly so by all the parallels we've seen in which the Straw Hats are rewarded for their boundless love for each other and their fellow man, their "all for one, one for all" ethos that underscores the entire series, and their willingness to throw themselves against any enemy–and quite literally take on the world– for their friends in the face of horrible injustice against them.

And instead of "I want to live" we get this kinda subtly dark ending for his character because as beautiful as him dying for Luffy and the whole "thank you for loving me" speech is, it reaffirms that as much as Ace has found meaning in his existence, he'll never get to go through Robin's (ongoing) journey of self acceptance. He'll never realize that his friends love him for who he is and not in spite of it. He does't get to grow past the last of the trauma and self hatred and survivor's guilt holding him back as a person, or meet Rayleigh in the postwar and learn things about his parents and the real history of the world that could have given him the catharsis he always needed, or just that he has immense value and brings as much joy to the people he's devoted his life to as they do to him. His final words just make it really clear that as much as he wishes he could keep living with his friends and family, he still cannot fathom the concept that he personally was worth saving or sacrifice at all.

[etherealeden]

the spiritual and psychological way of processing negative emotions and regulating your nervous system

part 1: the pattern

Do you ever feel like certain negative emotions are stuck in your body, no matter what you do? They keep reemerging, blocking you from the deeper healing you’re seeking.

I used to have the same mental breakdown every Friday. It was horrible. The school week would end, work was behind me, and I was supposed to go out with friends. But instead, my negative self-talk would amplify, and my feelings would become unbearable.

Humans are sensitive beings. I’ve always felt like I’m especially sensitive, able to detect even the slightest shifts in mood, energy, or environment. But now I realize I’m not alone in this. I think we’re all meant to deeply feel and sense everything around us. Feeling is our inner guidance system. To truly explore the intuition behind feeling all emotions, we must first accept them.

We have to accept love, peace, joy, and confidence, just as we must also embrace shame, guilt, fear, grief, and heartbreak. In my experience, this is the path to feeling enlightened and truly connected to spirituality.

But back to my mental break down every Friday. It took me a long time to uncover the subconscious pattern behind this emotional outburst. In the end, the core reason behind it all was one thing: resistance. Throughout the entire week, in order to be a functioning member of society, I resisted my feelings—all of them, both the positive and the negative. This brings me to the most important lesson in my healing:

What you resit will persist.

part 2: why acting as if isn’t always working

If we consider this spiritual law of the universe, it makes sense why the “acting as if” approach might not work for everyone. I don’t mean to criticize this principle or those who teach it, but I found it to be misleading for me. I used “acting as if” as a way to suppress my emotions, which only intensified them further. It was Lacy Phillips, a teacher in neural manifestation, who introduced me to the concept of “spiritual bypassing.” The appeal of instantly having what you want can be very tempting, but it ended up disconnecting me from my nervous system and true self. I’d like to sprinkle in some scientific evidence to support this. Studies show that receiving praise for presenting ourselves in ways that are inauthentic can negatively impact our self-esteem (Hussain & Langer, 2003). This highlights the importance of authenticity. Here’s the thing: at the time, I genuinely believed that “acting as if” was authentic. I thought that pretending I had those emotions would lead me to where I wanted to be. Although this approach isn't entirely flawed, I wasn’t able to recognize the deeper layers involved.

For a bit of deeper insight, here’s what I struggled with at the time:

I battled an eating disorder from my early teenage years. I was forced into recovery and had to gain weight, which ultimately saved my life. However, I never received the psychological support needed to address the underlying emotions and thoughts that led to my illness in the first place. This experience was deeply traumatic, which is why I initially avoided feeling my emotions. My issues with food and body dysmorphia persisted, leaving me feeling far from my authentic self. I couldn’t see the deeper layers behind these body issues. I failed to recognize that what I truly craved was safety, self-acceptance, confidence, happiness, energy, and satisfaction. Instead, I acted as if I had my dream body, projecting confidence and pretending to feel pretty, while my inner child remained deeply hurt and I felt profound shame.I had so many underlying issues that I wasn’t able to fully embody the true emotions I desired.

I understand this topic can be very triggering and that many people are struggling with similar issues. However, I also want to emphasize that healing is possible. I’ll be creating a dedicated post on how I healed my body dysmorphia and eating issues. If you have any questions or specific aspects of healing you’re interested in, please feel free to message me. For now, I'll focus on more general approaches to consider instead of "acting as if.”

part 3: finding acceptance

I love acceptance now, though I used to hate, fear, and avoid it at all costs. Embracing acceptance can be challenging and demanding, but it is crucial to healing. I had an amazing therapist who introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which has been essential in my journey. To take the steps toward where we want to go, we first need to accept where we are. In my experience, acceptance helps us feel grounded and regulates the nervous system, promoting calm and peace. This sense of acceptance makes it easier to avoid reacting impulsively in old patterns and opens us up to new solutions.

I use three approaches to cultivate acceptance: the first is elevating your frequency through the emotional scale by Abraham Hicks, the second is a technique called reframing, and the third is practicing self-compassion.

part 3a: the emotional scale

The emotional scale by Abraham Hicks is a tool designed to help individuals understand and shift their emotional states. The scale ranks emotions from the most positive to the most negative, with the idea that higher emotions align more closely with our true self and well-being. The idea is to recognize where you currently fall on the scale and take steps to move up to a higher emotional state. To work with this emotional scale, I start by identifying the emotion I’m currently experiencing. For example, if I’m feeling anger, I allow myself to fully experience it. I sit with the emotion and focus on intensifying it in my body, recognizing that it's safe to feel emotions in this way. This practice is not about harming anyone; in fact, it’s a healthy way to process and release emotions. Often, simply acknowledging and fully experiencing the emotion will help it subside on its own. If I’m still feeling anger, I try to shift my focus to a higher-frequency emotion that feels authentic to me at that moment.

Here’s an example: I have a limiting belief from childhood that I am not validated or seen enough by my mom. Recently, when I shared something important with her and she didn’t remember it the next day, I felt angry. I felt this anger in my body, so I couldn’t just ignore it. I went to my room and sat with the emotion of anger. After processing it, I was able to shift to a higher emotional state by reminding myself that my mom loves me and is simply stressed from working hard to provide for us. This way I could feel gratitude and love, higher vibrating emotions. It is okay if there is still a bit of anger present, a feeling dosen’t have to go away completely from one second to another.

part 3b: Reframing and Self-Compassion

Reframing is similar to using the emotional scale, but it often involves a more logical approach. It’s about adopting a new perspective on a mistake, issue, or event that occurred. Reframing helps us reinterpret situations in a way that can lead to a more positive or constructive understanding. Carson and Langer (2006) capture the essence of reframing well, stating, “[…] find the perspective that provides either new knowledge, motivation for change, and/or an opportunity to teach others a valuable lesson” (p. 34). For me, this has a lot to do with self-compassion. According to Abraham Hicks, self-compassion means seeing yourself through the eyes of your true essence or "source." It involves viewing yourself in a more positive light and reclaiming the feelings or beliefs you wish to hold about yourself.

Source or the universe created us all as perfect beings. Wherever you are right now is exactly where you’re meant to be. The mistakes you make and the pain you experience are essential for the lessons your soul is meant to learn in this lifetime. Sometimes it can be helpful to consider how you would treat a partner, parent, or friend if they were in the same situation you’re facing right now. It can also be beneficial to connect with your inner child. Many of our limiting beliefs originate from childhood, so often it’s not just you who is hurting, but your inner child as well. I sometimes visualize hugging my inner child, speaking kindly to them, and reassuring myself that I am safe and everything will be okay (this practice helps no matter what).

When I moved to a new, larger city, I felt lost. The sense of safety and peace I had worked so hard to cultivate suddenly disappeared. This situation was very triggering for me, especially because I have a deep fear of my mental health issues reappearing. To navigate this, I chose to reframe the situation. I reminded myself that it’s normal to feel unsafe and lost when moving to a new, big city. Building a sense of home takes time, but it’s entirely possible. As I delved deeper, I uncovered a belief that I didn’t belong in this city, that I was different and somehow wrong. I meditated on this belief and eventually realized that my soul chose this city for a reason: to expand me and bring me to the next level. I understood that the universe was testing whether I could cultivate these emotions in a new environment. Essentially, I was growing and affirming that this is my new self. No one and nothing could take these emotions away from me because I can cultivate them from scratch, regardless of the circumstances. See how reframing allowed me to find a sense of safety and belonging? It’s important to acknowledge that this process took time, but I truly believe it’s magical.

part4: different insights that allow more acceptance

These action steps are adopted from Carson & Langer (2006) as well as my own experiences.

Observe your environment and find blissful things

To cultivate a sense of safety and belonging and accept your own reality, start by observing new things in your environment. Look for small changes, things you love, and aspects that bring you joy and gratitude. Use these elements to ground yourself and make you feel secure. For me, this included activities like singing, drawing, going for walks in nature, cuddling, and meditating.

Allow momentum for change

It’s important to remember that you’re allowed to change and evolve and feel acceptance. Focus things that genuinely resonate with you and that you can commit to. For instance, when I struggled with body image issues I had to accept them first. However, at the same same time I decided to believe in a better reality where I loved my body. I had to learn that even the smallest actions contribute to building momentum toward this goal. It’s a process, and I’m allowed to make mistakes and take steps backward. But small changes and frequently recalling emotions that I can get behind make the difference. I began to gradually feel better about my body by listening to its needs, whether it required rest, movement, nourishment, or simply happiness.

Ambiguity

The world is not simply black and white, paradoxes exist. You can simultaneously dislike and care for your body. This dosen’t mean you have to dislike your body forever, but if this is the emotional state you are in currently than that is okay. Developing the ability to tolerate ambiguity is therefore crucial for building self-acceptance. I initially resisted acceptance, fearing it would keep me stagnant, but in reality, it had the opposite effect. Embracing acceptance allowed me to move forward and grow.

part 5: summary and key learnings

Negative emotions can persist if we resist them. I learned that accepting all emotions, both positive and negative, is crucial for healing.

"Acting as if" can sometimes lead to suppressing emotions rather than addressing them. Authenticity and deeper emotional understanding are key.

Embracing acceptance helps to ground and regulate emotions. Techniques like using the emotional scale, reframing, and practicing self-compassion can facilitate this process.

To cultivate acceptance, observe joyful aspects of your environment, allow yourself to evolve, and tolerate the ambiguity of your feelings

Sending you love and light

Nina

Literature

Carson, S. H., & Langer, E. J. (2006). Mindfulness and self-acceptance. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 24(1), 29–43. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10942-006-0022-5

Hussain, M. S., & Langer, E. (2003). A Cost of Pretending. Journal of Adult Development, 10(4), 261–270. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1026063611951

[worriedvision]

Idk how to explain it but Heizou and reader are working partners. They are often assigned to work together for the same cases, leading to them having a friendly relationship.

One day reader takes on a difficult case, without Heizou. Heizou wants to be involved, but reader denies his help, wanting to solve the case themselves.

One night reader hears about a possible lead and goes to investigate it, but they don't return the next day. Heizou's worried about reader, tries looking for them before finding their dead body.

Idk if reader and Heizou's relationship was romantic or platonic. But if it was romantic, then oof Heizou's gonna live with the regret of never confessing as well as not being able to save them.

Ooooh okay! I'll leave the platonic or romantic feelings to the readers interpretation, gender neutral reader. Angst obviously, the reader does die here as well. Mentions blood, readers death isn't a nice one.

--

"Hey, what's this?" Heizou purrs. "I could help you with this case. It looks very interesting."

"This is a case I would prefer to work alone with." You explain, picking up a piece of evidence you seemed to really feel a vibe with.

"Are you going to go there?" Heizou asks, raising a brow out of suspicion. "If you ask me, it looks like it's been planted. Perhaps someone's realising you're on their tracks, and they want to distract."

"Well, I didn't ask you." You sigh out, putting down the paper and looking up. "I'm sure you can find something 'interesting' to do. Perhaps the cases Madam Kujou Sara assigned you."

"Those cases are sooo boring..." Heizou whines out. "Being serious though, I'd strongly advise you don't go there. At least not alone."

"Heizou, you're getting on my nerves here. I know you're just going to tell me I'm barking up the wrong tree before you've seen the whole case."

"With the due respect, I don't think this picture is ideal." Heizou crosses his arms. "Don't you see the clearly painted blood splatters? There is no evidence of a struggle, and you and I both know that colour of blood would definitely be accompanied by a significant disturbance in the sand."

"And what if the blood is from the victim, but the blood has been collected from a nearby location and been splattered?" You hum out, Heizous face grimacing at how you stretched your idea. "I'm going, and there's nothing you can do about it. You aren't coming with me, got it?"

"...Fine." Heizou hesitates.

--

The next day, you don't show for work. You were normally early for your work, and Heizou had a bad feeling something horrible happened. Since it was daytime, he could go along to the spot you planned to go to without fear of someone hiding in the dark, waiting to ambush him.

It, sadly, didn't take Heizou a long time to find you.

Your body was lying cold, in the exact spot the splattered blood was. Checking for a pulse, Heizou bites his lip to hold back a shaky sigh as he realises that his hunch was correct. It was clear you were outnumbered. Multiple wounds, the blood loss, he could tell you struggled based on the marks on your hands.

He surveys the area, fully committed to find the culprits of the case. It didn't take him long, the culprits didn't vacate the area. Instead, they were found sleeping in their tent. The bloodied weapons weren't cleaned up, and they didn't even change their clothes or bathe themselves. It was clear that you had exhausted them during your fight, and they just fell asleep after running away.

After he gets the suspects arrested and convicted, he finds the initial victim, the one you were exploring. The corpse was buried lazily, and the victim was discovered to be someone who knew a lot about the crimes the suspects previously convicted, and planned to convict.

But Heizou feels no joy out of solving this case. If he had been there with you, he was confident he would have been able to convince you to have an escape route ready. Maybe if he convinced you to go during the daytime instead of putting emphasis on him being there with you, you'd still be alive. As well as this, his failure to catch on to the suspects previous crimes and suspicious actions cost the life of someone he didn't know.

Heizou reports his findings to Kujou Sara, no joy in his voice as he declares his investigation closed. Kujou Sara knew you two were close, and she was aware of the last discussion you had with Heizou.

People knew better than to mention your name around Heizou, knowing that he was on the verge of snapping knowing that he might have kept you alive if he followed you against your words.

[opheliajupiter99]

A Word to the Wise Pt.4

Things were truly getting grim for the gaggle of carnies at this point. Gricko was still near catatonic from trauma, Hootsie dead, and now, Gideon missing in the dead of night, his chain marks leading into the forest the only evidence of him left behind. They of course followed the trail, to try and see where it led, but quickly found that after a few feet, the trail stopped, as if the Genasi had been lifted into the air, or somehow vanished mid-drag.

Even stranger was that there were no footprints, to indicate somehow had physically dragged the Genasi, despite the fact the trail clearly indicated that. How would someone even drag him in the first place? The man was immense, not to mention how violently he'd no doubt react to someone trying to capture him, all things considered.

The camp is in shambles at this point, Kremy trying to keep his wits and calm everyone down, even as tears flowed down his cheeks, flowing too freely for him to effectively hide them. Torbek was on the verge of a panic attack, which only elevated the others anxiety, considering what could potentially be unleashed if he felt too threatened, which was only doubled by Twig beginning to crack as well.

Frost, as expected, showed the least response visually. Unlike Kremy, he didn't actively try to show little emotion, it just kind of happened. Yes, he was taught to control his emotions and do his best to not let them get out of hand, but even with that, he had what many might dub a 'resting bitch face' - or at least what Gideon might dub it. Inside though, his mind was only little above the others in terms of cracking.

He was of the highest magical prowess among them, and yet despite that, despite the kind of responsibility that came with, despite his constant efforts to keep them all safe, his found family was crumbling at the seams. In truth, most of the damage thus far was already caused when he peered into Gricko's mind and beheld Hootsie's fate. The sound of her last little hoot still echoed in his ears, as he quietly stared off into the fire while the others bickered and sobbed.

He was growing worried that they couldn't best whatever was going on - but he was rather ashamed that, that wasn't even what scared him most. What scared him most, was the idea that whatever had come to butcher them all one by one...would leave him for last. That he'd have to watch each and every one of his family die horribly, before his own time came. Or even worse...perhaps the beast wouldn't kill him at all; simply leave him all alone, as he begged to be reunited with his lost kin.

This thought couldn't help but consume him as he drifted off to sleep. After everything that had happened, he fully anticipated a gruesome nightmare, but...he didn't expect what happened instead*

He slept remarkably peacefully, and awoke sometime the next morning, sitting up in his cot and rubbing his eyes, before opening them. His eyes widened, and his face was stricken with panic-*

Every single cot around him was empty. Kremy's was torn slightly, stuffing poking out from claw marks, as if he'd tried in vain to fight back, Torbek's was coated in splatters of Witchlight, along with shards of shattered glass, Gricko's left with little struggle at all, which was somehow more chilling, like he'd simply surrendered to be with his dearest daughter, and Twig's was torn apart so violently that it was little more than shreds of scattered fabric and stuffing, Pigtunia nowhere to be seen either.

He....was alone. Nothing but the faint embers of the dying fire, and utter, deafening silence. His heart pounded, as his panicked gaze darted around, trying in desperation to find any sign of them, but to no avail. In fact, gazing around only enhanced his dread, as his eyes caught on Hootsie's cot, which was now in front of his own, despite its usual placement beside Gricko's.

He let out a sob, putting his paws over his eyes, bursting into tears. Who even -was- he without his family?! Just some pompous, sagely fool that had only to offer the world knowledge nobody gave a flying fuck about! Facts and wisdom that meant his only true friends would be some dusty library or wizard's tower, damned to be interacted with only out of sheer necessity, those that finding him searching for any excuse to leave as quickly as they had arrived.

He sobbed violently, clutching his head so tightly his claws began to dig into the sides of his head. He sobbed - then the sobs turned to deranged cackling, letting his head go as his arms hung limply at his sides, fingers-stained crimson, as both tears and blood flowed freely down his face as he stared up at the sky, bellowing, humorless laughs filling the air around him, as the weight of his fate fully fell upon him.

As his mind unraveled, he saw the cot before him twitch out of the corner of his eye. He looked towards it, still softy giggling under his breath as he stared. The cot, now that he looked closer at it, didn't look empty at all...and then-

The lumpy cot began to heave, up and down, as if something was breathing beneath the blanket, and he heard a tiny, hooting voice sobbing, muffled beneath the blanket. This sent him into another fit of giggling sobs, hugging himself tightly as tears flowed anew; he knew what was happening now. He was losing his mind; he could feel it. He pondered if his friends were even gone at all, or if they were clustered around him right now, watching him giggle-cry at nothing.

Then suddenly, with a sharp tear as fabric split apart, sending a puff of stuffing into the air, the cot split open, like oversized prey bursting forth from a snake's stomach. A tall, slim figure pulled itself free from the remnants of the cot, tuffs of fluff falling from its form as it stood to its full height.

A clown.

A tall, slender clown stood before the broken Tabaxi, his arms and legs almost comically long, like a stilt entertainer at a circus, while his middle was somewhat rounded, poofy like a clown suit. His form was white, with multicolored polka dots dotted all over, what appeared to be just a suit so firmly clung to his form, that it looked more like its flesh than an actual costume. Its hands were clown gloves, puffy and bright white, but the fingers were long, coming to a clawed point, looking almost like the spindly legs of a spider, as the beast clacked them together.

It knelt down, getting its painted face, with wide, pupilless eyes, and a lipsticked mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, right up to his own. Frost just stared back, breathlessly giggling as his reddened eyes stared right back into its; its gaze so empty, so soulless, and yet somehow, also filled with immersible glee.

"J-Just...j-just do it!" The poor sorcerer says between mad giggling. The clown giggled in return, the sound shrill, like the feral cackle of a hyena. He grabbed the back of Frost's head tightly, leaning in further, to the point Frost could see nothing but the clown's horrid visage.

"No, no, silly Frosty! We're not done playing our game yet! There's so much more FUN to be had!!"

The carnies woke in the morning once more, but this time, Frost remained his cot. However, they were unable to wake him, no matter how much they begged from tears. While Gricko was traumatized but conscious, Frost was now, full blown catatonic, unclear if he was even registering everything that was happening around him, just lying there, his slowly rising and falling chest the only indication he was alive at all.

After all, killing him now would spoil the fun.

[shadyvoidhologram]

Ok, i just want to say something.

[long post, just venting tbh]

I'm a casual Kwite enjoyer, i love the guy and his humor a lot. But i wasn't actively on circles about him or his company, just binged on his vids.

So imagine my surprise when he posted his response to the allegations video.

But before watching it i looked up wtf happened before and, shit, as a t!guy who had been sa'd and had too many toxic friendships in the past i was pretty scared yk. But i know how these things work on youtube, so i went and watched Kwite's video as well.

And thank god i watched it bc damn, a lot of things were cleared up, i found it sad how he was forced out of his anonymity because Orion couldn't understand that basic boundaries. There were a lot of alarm bells ringing when he started pulling out messages where Orion used the same tactics a former friend of mine used even years before i cut them off of my life.

But... we'll have to wait.

I've been around this block before, and i know it's not over (from what i've seem on Orions twitter) but they don't seem to be holding up their side very well bc forging documents and cutting off messages that leave you looking bad is not something an innocent person would do.

Some people don't like how Kwite defended himself, saying he was "too aggressive" or "not emotional enough for what he's saying" but remember, someone crying doesn't mean they're telling the truth (remember amber heard?) and if you're really about "hearing both sides", you can see that he's uncomfortable when speaking about his trauma and struggles, needing the script to communicate what was necessary without overwhelming himself.

Something that should've been private and respected, but instead was shared without his consent and used as a weapon against him. Manipulating him into doing what he wanted or trying and insisting even after being denied time and time again.

What strikes me is that Kwite isn't blaming Orion for anything, he's just defending himself and even sometimes taking the blame for not comunicating better about a boundary or nor being able to do something for the other person, you know, something that victims commonly do.

I'm just tired about people using SA to bring others down for a personal grudge. It's something horrible to go through and seeing it being thrown around like it's nothing makes me want to throw up.

And honestly, if someone (even worse, a close friend or even a s/o) deadnames you, calls you hateful slurs or even say that they would phisically harm you as an actual threat, you cut them off of your life, you don't usually attempt to reconnect.

I'm not saying Kwite is right or that Orion is right, but Kwite's response stuck stronger with me and the amount of evidence is very telling, he tried to bring and provide every single piece he could to support his side, even if it was painful for him to do so.

[megashadowdragon]

curiouscat posts on gourmet of gluttonys account for re zero ( spoilers for web novel and light novel) regarding their opinionso n various topics in re zero

how is reinhard childish Reinhard has been directly described as “more of a child than Felt in many ways” in various sources. It also fits with his underdeveloped social skills, his struggle to comprehend his own emotions, and his discomfort with anything related to sex as shown in Riot in Flanders.

Is Reinhard really as kind as people claim him to be? Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 4 days ago Reinhard is a person who is kind to a self-destructive extent. You really don’t need to look farther than the Volume 1 epilogue to see that. He does bad things every now and then, but they are usually either necessary or due to a lack of forethought such as with Felt.

Do you think Emilia's obsession with promises will change in the story? Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul Not really. Promises are a much bigger thing in the Re: Zero universe, to the point that even the archbishops would keep them according to Tappei:

Q: The archbishops are called filthy filth, but they all come in openly and introduce themselves. Aren’t they actually unusually forthright? Perhaps they’re the type that are unusually good at keeping promises?

A: Oh, they’ll keep promises. When they meet someone, they’ll greet them and give their names. That’s always been the way of filth. They’ll keep a promise, and if they don’t feel like keeping it, they wouldn’t make it in the first place. They just do what they’ve done. If what they want to do is a sneaky action, they’ll be sneaky, and if what they want to do can only be done by being open, they’ll be open. They’re scum.

It’s even more sacred to Spirit Arts users, and it’s not even a character flaw so…yeah, I don’t see that changing.

what is the evidence for the roswaal is anneroses father theory Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul She’s confirmed to be Roswaal’s next vessel, Roswaal and Grace have a lot of dialogue that seems to imply a deeper relationship between them, and her physical appearance matches many aspects of Roswaal’s appearance.

I think if emillia camp found out roswaal was possessed his descendants for 400 years they wouldn’t really care they would just shrug and sigh  For that’s what they expected from him Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul No??????

It’s child murder at best and horribly mangling their soul into a horrific amalgam of him and them at worst (depending on which you believe is more accurate to the way Roswaal transfers bodies). It’s utterly disgusting and Beatrice, someone who isn’t exactly a moral paragon in addition to being someone unbelievably close to Roswaal, only didn’t hate him because she saw that’s what he wanted her to do. That certainly doesn’t apply to people like Garf who hated him even before such a revelation.

Whether they could act on their anger is more arguable.

how would emillia and the rest of the camp like frederica react if they knew roswaal was possesssing his descendants and is actually roswaal a mathers ( do they already know) Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul Outside of Ram, negatively of course. It’s a fucking evil thing to do.

Out of the main Emilia camp members, only Beatrice knows. She’s not exactly a moral paragon and has a much closer relationship with Ros when it comes to anyone alive except maybe Ram, so her reaction is probably a horrible one to judge from.

What if the archbishop of gluttony ate willhelms name instead of Julius let’s say after Theresa  was taken down how would this effect the characters how would this effect Reinhard and heinkel what would a meeting between willhelm and Reid be like if he does go with the group Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 25 Jul Fuck, that’s a good question.

Rein and Heinkel’s relationship would quickly repair itself, which would be the ultimate fuck you to Wilhelm. Imagine how damaging it would be to one’s mental state to find out the relationship of your son and grandson is better off without you ever existing. Calling it devastating would be underselling it.

As for Wilhelm meeting Reid…well, I doubt Wilhelm has the same hero worship as Julius for him. I also don’t think Reid would really care that he’s the grandfather of the current Sword Saint considering his reaction to learning about Reinhard. Reid would just curbstomp Wilhelm, mock him, and do his best to humiliate him similar to what he did to Julius. The main difference is that Wilhelm doesn’t have a mechanism to gain the same level of power-up Julius did, so he would likely be unable to hold back Reid in the finale. Even if he did somehow, I doubt it would help his mental state much other than make him feel more at ease with being Subaru’s ally.

Quite frankly, Reid is designed pretty purposefully to be a fool to Julius and Reinhard. It’s unlikely anyone but them would receive significant development from interacting with him since his character relates directly to their main issues.

what if willhelms name was eaten by gluttony  after theresias defeat  how would that impact things and effect characters relationships Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 29 Sep We’d probably get a similar scenario to Pride IF in regards to Heinkel and Reinhard. Wilhelm being gone seems to make it easier for the two to grow closer again based on Tappei’s notes in Pride IF. I’d expect immense turmoil from Wilhelm following such a revelation.

Considering Subaru would be the only one who would remember him, it is quite likely Wilhelm will grow even closer to him similar to what happened with Julius. There’s also a debate to be had on if he would join the Emilia camp or try to rejoin the Crusch camp considering Crusch and Felix would no longer have any idea who he was. Wilhelm is such an honorable person he may rejoin them on principle, but there is an argument to be made that the shock and trauma from being erased will make him more rash and desperate to stay by someone who remembers him.

How would carol and grimm react if they learned the truth about roswaal considering their relationship with julia Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 21 Sep Upset of course. Wouldn’t you be upset if you found out your best friend’s death, a major cause of guilt for you, didn’t actually result in their “death”? Wouldn’t you be upset and humiliated if you carried that with you for decades only to find out they were fine? Wouldn’t you feel disgusted with yourself for being so close to someone who has revealed themselves to be so inhuman that even their children are used as tools?

Can you maybe clarify how Reinhard would be able to beat Ainz's time stop, some sort of sealing, teleportation, True Death, copying abilities ( someone said this I'm not sure how accurate it is ) or any of the other versatile hax abilities he has? Ainz likely would use them out of paranoia/cautiousness if he sees Reinhard as a threat. I honestly can't see how Ainz wouldn't win even in a 1v1 due to the sheer difference in versatility. Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 4 Sep Little known fact: I am actually very into Overlord. So let me deconstruct the common arguments:

1. Teleportation. Teleportation doesn’t matter if the speed difference is so great that you never get to use it. Ainz has to actually cast the spell after all. Overlord has awful speed scaling, their best feat being not far above supersonic (Albedo moving faster than some soldiers can see and Shalltear significantly heating up air from her movements) while characters like Julius are above lightning speed. Lowballing Rein puts him in a much higher speed tier than Ainz, but if we factor in Reid easily outspeeding light…yeah, Ainz is WAAAAY slower.

2. Time Stop. Time Stop is so overrated. There are so many countermeasures in Overlord alone and semi-canon side material indicates there are plenty of characters in other franchises who would override it. Reinhard being able to literally negate the majority of magic used on him makes it highly likely time stop will do little. Even if it somehow does stop him though, we get to the biggest problem…

3. Rein’s mana absorption. As demonstrated in the literal first volume of the LN, Rein drains all magic from both the atmosphere and those around him. Emilia, the character with the biggest mana pool in the series, was feeling sick in seconds and Felt was instantly knocked out when he did it to her. Not only does that prevent magic from being used against him as any mana will be absorbed before it can even be cast, but all of that magic buffs him EVEN FURTHER making that ridiculous speed gap even larger. This also doesn’t account for Rein’s base DPs that would negate most of any magic that Ainz could use against him even if Ainz somehow got around it.

4. True Death, even if it somehow was used despite the numerous anti-magic Hax Rein has, only negates “low-level” resurrection as stated by the LN itself. Reinhard is being granted infinite resurrections by the literal soul of the world. Arguing that said resurrections are “low-level” seems incredibly hard to believe.

5. Ainz does not have copying abilities, I have no idea where this is from.

6. Wish Upon a Star is outright stated to have many limits upon it. It can also outright just not work, as shown in the Evileye side story where Ainz uses up all his excess XP and gets no answer to his question on how to help Evileye.

7. Most other hax are useless fra.

So…what we have here is a supersonic+ character who mainly relies on Hax and magic vs an FTL character who can constantly negate hax and prevent magic casting. Even ignoring the Destructive Potential difference…yeah, Ainz ain’t winning.

In the Julius was the illegitimate child of roswaal k mathers and a juulikus woman and being raised by his uncle  how would roswaal l mathers dying and possessing Julius effect things how would the changes effect the camps as well as  Felix and Reinhard. Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 17 Aug Crusch camp and Felt camp might legitimately cut all ties with the Emilia camp if they don’t kick out Roswaal, and even then their relationship would be strained. Felix and Reinhard really care about Julius and the death of Julius as they know him would likely be something neither would ever be able to overlook.

I doubt there’s any chance Ana would be anything other than an enemy to Emilia as well considering her and Julius are really close.

you know Yorna’s leadership and city were to what Emilia was hoping to achieve  One of the major issues with Emilia is her lack of leadership skills or experience  vincent and Pricilla’s personalities and leadership styles contrast too much with Emilia for her to be taught by them Plus Yorna has a major soft-spot for persecuted Demi-Humans which Emilia can fill. Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 26 May That’s a good point I haven’t really thought of. Would be interesting to see at the very least.

I think willhelm would be understanding to roswaal given willhelms treatment of his son and grandson due to theresia Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 12 May I doubt it. Wilhelm treats Heinkel and Rein badly, but that’s mainly due to him heavily misinterpreting both of their actions. There’s really no ambiguity when it comes to the awful shit Roswaal did.

Out of the 5 candidates for the throne and their members who would be willing to overlook roswaals possessing his descendants if he was part of their camp Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 26 May None of them. Something like that opposes all their moral views (yes, even Priscilla since I know people have this idea that she is amoral, something shown several times to not be the case).

How would emillia and co react if they found out about how roswaal possesses his descendants for 400 years and the possibility of annerose being roswaals daughter Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 2 Jun Disgust for Roswaal.

Fear for Annerose considering his track record.

how would willhelm react if he learnt about roswaal possessing his descendants Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 29 Apr If I had to guess? Disgust, anger, betrayal, etc.

Knowing a friend like Julia did such awful acts would make anyone angry.

this reminds me of subaru I just realized both heinkel and subaru both have feelings of inferiority to their parents (which caused subaru to be a neet) heinkel is nowhere near his parents strength and felt the weight of his parents legacywhile subaru felt inferior to his father and is burdened with being called kenichis sondo you think that this will play a part /factor in subarus relationship/interaction with heinkel

was aldebarans use of his authority to try and convince priscilla to change her mind manipulating her Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 15 Apr I guess you could call it that, but that removes the context of the situation. As Al points out, Priscilla’s life is very much in danger if she continues being in the Royal Selection. We’ve also already seen that Priscilla can and has been killed by assassins before based off Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies. Priscilla is not invincible despite her immense power and luck, and Al is not omniscient. If Priscilla gets poisoned or killed in her sleep, it’s not a guarantee he can always be there to bail her out even with her insane luck.

Priscilla herself also points out her pride and duty to finish what she started is pretty much the only things keeping her in the Selection, something Al would never fathom dying over considering his distinct lack of belief in things like that.

You can argue about the morality of trying to force Priscilla to change her choice to save her life, but Al has never been the most moral person. He believes in saving the skins of himself and those around him at all costs. If he has to humiliate himself or resort to cheap tactics, he will do so without hesitation to save those he cares about and himself.

[lotus-flowerz]

rest now, you deserve it.

kaeya helps you through an anxiety attack related to work

Kaeya x gn!reader

TW!! ANXIETY ATTACK, DARK THOUGHTS, EXTREMELY SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, OVERWORKED READER

Loud, loud, loud. Too much.

Your head slammed down on the desk. Your work was piling up and you felt as though you couldn't get on top of it. A flash of anger surged through your body before turning to icy panic.

How am I supposed to get this done??

When will I get a break?

Is suicide the only way out?

You ran a hand through your hair and gripped it tightly. You picked up your pen and got back to work, hoping that it would distract you, but the more you worked, the harder it was to write. Your hand was shaking horribly and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Your own breathing was entirely too loud and frustration filled every limb of your body. You found you had stopped writing entirely and you were just staring at the paper, struggling to breathe.

~

"Y/n, I'm home." Kaeya called out to a seemingly empty house.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Are you here?"

The house was dark and silent. Something loomed in the air that made Kaeya feel on edge. Something was off.

He checked every room before finally coming to your office. The door was locked.

Shit

"Love, are you still in there? You've been in there since yesterday, don't tell me you haven't left." he gave a half assed laugh, hoping to hear one in return, but all he heard was a loud slam.

"Y/n open the door." he said urgently.

No response. He shakily took a bobby pin out of his ponytail and picked the lock.

You heard the door open but you still couldn't move.

"Y/n.. darling, what's going on?"

You turned to him, the countless rough nights evident on your face, eyes watering.

"Oh, oh Barbatos, love come here.." he whispered. He pulled you into a hug and lifted you out of your chair, shifting to hold you bridal style.

"No, no, no, put me down! I have work.. need to do.. need to.. to.." you found yourself unable to speak properly, looking around frantically.

"Hey! Easy there darling. You're okay, I've got you. I'm here now."

"No I need to.. need to work.. I- I can't just-"

"Stop, shh.. you're working so hard, you need to take a break, okay?"

"Can't!!"

He didn't listen to your protests, but instead brought you down to the living room. He sat down on the couch with you in his lap, cradling you closely.

You had stopped struggling, not having any energy left.

"Okay, let's breathe. Can you do that for me?"

You just looked at him with wide eyes. You didn't know. How do you do that again?

"It's okay, here, put your hand on my chest, copy me okay? Let's take deep breaths, alright?"

"Breathe in... and out... good job! Again, in, and out. You're doing well."

You copied him with shaky breaths, not nearly as steady or even as his were. How could a failure like yourself be doing well? I can't do anything right, not even breathe. Oh god, I need to get back to work-

"Y/n, breathe! Hey, hey, look at me, there you are! It's alright, I've got you."

"M.. work.. "

"No, no work, love. Not for tonight. Focus on your breaths, try and make them even."

You felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed with you, and tried to focus on how warm he was against you instead of the horrible thoughts flitting through your head.

"You were having bad thoughts again?"

You nodded.

He sighed and gently ran his fingers through your hair.

"You always do when you get overworked. I'm sorry that it's hurting you this much. I can't make the work go away, but I hope I can make these thoughts in your head go away. You're so beautiful, inside and out. Someone with such a kind soul doesn't deserve to suffer the way you do."

Your eyes filled with tears at his endearing words.

"Oh, y/n.. it's okay, let it out.. shhhh... I've got you."

He held you close as the tears flooded your cheeks. you buried your face in his shirt. He smelled faintly of pine wood, frost, and cinnamon.

"Control your breathing, I've got you, love." he whispered, planting a kiss on your head.

He held you like that for a bit, just comforting you, petting your hair.

"You still haven't calmed down, love. I can feel your heartbeat."

"N.. Not entirely.. I can't.. can't stop thinking about the stuff I need to do.. I need to get back to it."

"Hey, woah, you'll go back into the state you were in before if you keep working yourself up like that. It's difficult not to think about the stuff you have to do, I know, but you need to focus on one thing at a time. Focus on work when the time comes for work."

You nodded, but it was obvious you couldn't drown out the thoughts in your head.

"Ah, I have an idea. Come here."

He switched positions on the couch so you were laying on top of his chest. He pulled the throw blanket off of the couch and draped it over the two of you.

"Alright love, focus on my heartbeat. Can you hear it? Maybe yours will sync with mine if you listen to it. Just breathe with me. Focus on the sound. Focus on my fingers in your hair."

You instantly felt soothed, the calm beating of his heart drowning out any thoughts you were having. You felt something in that moment. Happiness with a twinge of guilt. Was he going to leave? Were you too much work-

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" he whispered

"S-sorry.." you mumbled.

"For what, love?"

"Putting this on you.. you don't have to help. I don't want to drain you."

"Drain.. me?" he asked, eyes wide.

"S-sorry I didn't mean to freak you out, I-"

"No, no, no love, you just caught me off guard."

"Your heart sped up, I just-"

"No, no, you did nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all. I'm here to help. I don't know how many people in that past have told you that and didn't follow through for you to think you would drain me, but you are never a burden to me. You are not draining, and you're not a 'task' I have to deal with. You're my partner. You're my life. My heart is beating for you. You make me so happy, I want you, all of you. Your emotional turmoil included."

You let out a small laugh, closing your eyes and relaxing against Kaeya again.

He relaxed as well, continuing to play with your hair.

"I will always be here when you need it. You can focus on work later. I'll help you pace yourself. It'll get done, and by next week this will all be behind you. You're going to get through this, you're already doing so well. Rest now, you deserve it."

[rose-edith]

Gibbs finding out you have bad periods because of a medical condition would include:

(Mesntruation: ⚠️ WARNING! Also, this is totally a selfish little HC and does detail problems that I personally face so please be kind, and if it’s not your thing then don’t read it. ⚠️ explicit mention of period blood ⚠️)

•he knows straight away that something is up when you don’t arrive for work, and then when you don’t answer your phone to him he’s alarmed. So he sets the rest of the team off working on the case while he pays a home visit to you.

•he’s been to your house before, having dropped you off there only a few nights ago after a quiet little date. It was early days in your relationship, and it was a big secret! But both of you have high hopes.

•and that’s how and why he finds you on the floor of your bedroom in the child’s pose, curled up in an attempt to soothe the truly terrible cramps that genuinely feel like they’re tearing your body apart.

•he’s not stupid, he recognises the look of pain on your face…plus, you’ve bled through yet another thick pad, through your underwear and pyjamas. His heart pangs a little, evidently you’re not doing well.

•Gibbs has had enough experience with women to recognise that this isn’t just an ordinary period, it’s a devastating one. This is one that’s stopped you completely in your tracks. And he understood that, he wasn’t cruel, he knew the torture that people with uteruses sometimes experienced. His only instinct at this moment in time was to help. He wanted to help you. He stripped off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, there was no point being coy or shy about any of this.

•you’re so focused on your pain and the dizziness and breathlessness that comes with such a lot of blood loss, that you don’t notice he’s there until his lovely warm hand lands on your lower back, and starts rubbing gently.

•he tells you that he came to see why you’re not at work, but that he can see why you’re not in because you’ve leaked through. You go horribly red and hot in the face and start to cry of out humiliation and frustration because you hadn’t long changed! But he soothed your embarrassment, it’s not the first time he’s helped someone with their period and he’s sure it won’t be the last. Gibbs reminds you he’s not squeamish about blood.

•he helps you up from the floor but has to catch you as you go dizzy and the black spots start to float into your vision. You collapse into his arms and he catches you, he’s definitely not happy with quite how much you’re struggling it’s not ‘normal’

•but when he goes to ring for a doctor you cut him off, and with a heavy heart and so much sadness it makes your eyes water and your throat close up, you explain that you have a medical condition that causes totally irregular, extremely heavy and utterly devastating periods. You can’t quite bring yourself to tell him yet that as a result of this condition you’re classed as infertile and highly unlikely to ever experience pregnancy, and even though you’d known for years it still wasn’t exactly a fact you were comfortable with yet. It was still a source of sorrow.

•so instead he helps you into the bathroom and asks what he can get for you. Before you can even speak he’s gathered you a new set of pyjamas, new underwear and a towel- he assumed you’d want to wash, and so you did!

•while you took a long, hot, relaxing shower, Gibbs tidied up your house, he did the washing up. He also called work and took the day off himself, to look after you.

•but when he heard sobs coming from the bedroom he raced back upstairs, he found you crumpled up on the edge of the bed, blood already streaming down your legs even though you’d only just stepped out of the shower! You ran back into the bathroom to be sick, and Gibbs started to dab at the blood on the floor with a cloth, clearing it up.

•you eventually managed to get dressed this time, and not only did you wear a maternity/post birth sized pad but you’d wrapped a puppy training pad around your underwear too just for extra cover…and you could tell from the way your uterus gave a horrendous cramp that it would be tested.

•Gibbs caught up with you in the kitchen as you ran the hot water, but now you were struggling to undo your hot water bottle. He just pulled it from your hands in time because you had to grab the worktop as another terrible cramp tore through your lower body. Tears welled in your eyes and you hobbled back to the sofa, where Gibbs had laid out all the blankets you owned so you could cocoon yourself.

•a few minutes later he came in with one perfectly filled hot water bottle covered in your favourite fluffy cover, he gently deposited it against your lower stomach under all the blankets and he could literally see the relief start to etch away at the pain drawn on your face.

•he sat down gently beside you, and when you instinctively turned into him he opened up his arms and held you close. He told you he’d taken the day off to look after you, and he wouldn’t listen to your protests- as he reminded you, as your partner it’s his job and incidentally his delight, to take the best care of you.

•while you slept he went to the shops and brought a load of groceries so you could have snacks, and so he could cook you a good ‘bucking up’ meal. He also brought some more period products, he’d seen the ones you were using so he knew exactly what to get!

•anytime you needed anything during the day he he got it for you.

•if you wanted hugs and kisses, or a shoulder to sob on when the pain got bad and your hormones totally ruined your ability to stay dry eyed, he was at your side in a flash.

•he didn’t ask questions, though of course he was burning with curiosity- he knew the talk about this condition needed to be done another day, when everything had calmed down a little.

•basically he was absolutely a strong shoulder for you to lean on when you needed him to be, he made sure you rested; made sure you ate properly. He stayed at your side and refused to let you be embarrassed, in fact it’s when you were determinedly getting dressed a few days later even though things had hardly changed, that Gibbs realised just how strong and amazing, clever and strong you are, and he discovered quite to his surprise, that he loves you.

[imthebadguyyy]

Hi. This is mine request

Y/n is a teammate of max verstappen, they are in a relationship, y/n crashes and max is worried about her, and he is gonna visit her in the hospital, and when she is released he takes care of her, with a lott of fluff thanks

You Scared Me To Death !

Pairing - Max Verstappen x Reader

Fandom - F1

Summary - When you get hurt, Max realizes just how much you mean to him.

Warnings - mentions of injury, fire, explosion, violence, angst, crash details.

75 laps. That's all that you had to do. Drive for 75 laps. The Bahrain Grand Prix had always been one of your favourite races of the year, and you were so excited. But that excitement had soon ebbed away, after you had missed qualifying because your car wasn't ready for the quali session. The RedBull mechanics had apologised and you had brushed them off, buy you would be lying if you said you weren't angry. It hadn't helped when your teammate and boyfriend Max qualified P1, beating the Mercedes by mere tenths of a second. You had swallowed your hurt and congratulated Max, forcing yourself to feel happy for him.

All it had done was made you determined to win the race tomorrow, even if you had to fight 19 other drivers to do so. Starting P20 on the grid sucked big time, but as Martin Brundle said, "If anyone can fight back from the back of the grid to the podium places, its Y/N L/N" and you had done it before, at the German GP the previous year, fighting back from P19 to P3, winning Driver of The Day as well.

But this race was different. There was a building intensity in the air, you felt it in the air around you. You felt tense and nervous, and you were never nervous. It scared you, but you were going to be damned if you let it show on your face. In your drivers room, you paced back and forth, trying desperately to stop your hands from shaking. Was this what anxiety felt like? you wondered, shaking your head as your heart started hammering against your chest. Far to consumed in your own panicked thoughts, you didn't see your boyfriend walk up to your door, and open it to walk inside.

Max walked into your room, expecting to see you vibing to some R&B music, or something by Rihanna. But you weren't. You were pacing, your brow furrowed and he could see the irregular rise and fall of your chest. He walked up behind you silently, before wrapping his arms around your waist, like he normally did. What he wasn't expecting was your reaction. Usually, you would giggle and let your head fall onto his shoulder, and he would kiss your neck and you two would share a moment. But not this time. This time, you jumped, and nearly fell over onto your bed. "Woah schtaje ! It's just me' he said, eyes softening in concern. "I'm sorry I didn't see you and I shouldn't have jumped, I'm sorry I'm just so klutzy today and I'm also so nervous I-" your nervous rambling was cut off by a pair of warm lip pressing onto your own, as Max's hands cupped your face, instantly calming down your nerves.

You stayed like that for a moment, before pulling away softly, and letting him press his forehead down to yours, fingers gently tracing patterns on your hip. "Why are you nervous mijn geliefde ?" he asked, as he moved his lips to your neck, pressing little kisses along the sensitive skin. "I don't know" you confessed, tilting your head back to give him more access to the expanse of skin, while he stopped at a pulse point to suck at the soft skin, earning. soft moan from you. "Then stop stressing" he mumbled against your neck, word muffling against your skin. "I can't" you replied, struggling to keep the lump in your throat fro growing. "Well," Max said, biting down onto your neck and licking the spot to soothe it, 'Let me help you calm down"

--------------------------------

20 seconds to lights out.

Your heart was thumping so hard against your chest. God, were your hands always so clammy? Was the car always so stuffy ? Was the space always so confined? Was your helmet always that tight?

Your thoughts were muddled. You knew your goal. It was simple. Get to the podium. Except, right now, that goal seemed somewhat impossible. Before you knew, the first red light was flashing, and then the second, and the third and the fourth and the fifth, and then it was 'lights out and away we go!' you sped off, immediately overtaking Magnussen in the car ahead of you. Then, you overtook one of the Williams, but you could feel your breath wavering, and your heart threatening just burst out of your chest. And before you knew it, you were overtaking Giovinazzi in his Alfa Romeo, and the sight of Grosjean's Haas came into view, "And it looks like L/N has already taken over 4 places, making her P16, and we are on lap 2 of 75! It looks like we're going to see her on the podium after, all, but all we can do is wait and see- and oh! that's a terrible, terrible crash!"

It happened so fast. One moment, you were going round the outside of the Haas, and the next the back of the Haas was hitting your front, sending you crashing into one of the barriers, your car spinning a full 360 in the process. The impact as you crashed into the barriers was so intense, you felt yourself blackout for a few seconds.

"That was a horrible crash, between, the RedBull of Y/N L/N and the Haas, I believe of Romain Grosjean. This race has been red flagged and -oh no!' The cry summed it up. Your car had just burst into flames.

------------------------------------

In P1, Max was unaware of the chaos at the back, until he looked in his rear mirrors to see something enveloping into a ball of fire. "Holy shit, whose car is that?" he asked, watching as the flames grew higher. "Um.. Max, I need you to stay calm, but its Y/N" "Are you fucking serious?!" his angry voice burst through his race engineer's headphones, making him flinch. "Is she okay?! Tell me she's okay, damn it!' "Max, I need you to come into the pit lane. We have no information on her yet. Come into the pit lane"

As the 18 other cars came into the pitman, everyone knew better than to park in the way of an anxious Max Verstappen. He jumped out of the car, running to the garage upto Christian, who was watching the screen with his eyebrow furrowed. "Is she alright? Tell me she got out?! Did she get out?!" he was practically spitting the words out, and his engineer and his trainer had to physically restrain him from going to shake Christian. "She hasn't got out yet Max, but the fire Marshalls and the medical guys are there-" "What do you mean she hasn't got out? verdomme, blijf hier niet zitten! doe iets!!"

As his race engineer manoeuvred him to his chair, he yelled at whoever was around, eyes desperately searching to screen for some sign that you were still alive. Outside the RedBull garage, the other drivers were pooling around the garage for some sign that Y/N was okay. The panic had been evident in all their radios.

Charles - "Fuck, fuck, fuck, who was that? Y/N?! Tell me she's okay!"

Carlos - "Joder, ¿quién era ese?" I just saw the car go into flames, tell me they got out okay.

Lewis - oh shit, that was a big crash, fucking hell, is she okay?

Checo- oh no, that was a big one, I hope everyone is okay!

---------------------------------

Back in the car, you felt dazed. Since when was the track this hot, and since when when was your car red ? Were you driving for Ferrari ? No, you drove for RedBull, alongside Max. Your boyfriend Max. Why wasn't he here?

And why did you feel like you were sitting in a sauna? As you begain to regain your consciousness, you felt a searing pain on your hands, and finally clearing the fogginess of your mind, you became fully aware of what was happening. This was your RedBull car. But it was on fire. Almost instantly, your body went into survival mode, ripping the half burnt straps holding your body down, and forcing your limbs to stand up. Looking down you could see your racing gloves glow before they seemed to disintegrate into black dust before your eyes, the flames licking your hands. A scream started in your chest, only to be jammed in your throat, as you opened your mouth to gasp. Big mistake.

The smoke filled your mouth and lungs, and you choked, clawing at your race suit, begging some higher power to help you. Finally, using some courage and adrenaline you didn't know you had, you pulled your body up, bare hands coming in contact with searing hot metal, as your eyes filled with tears of pain. As you jumped out of the car, you became vaguely aware of 3 or 4 people signaling and screaming at you. Too exhausted to even think, you used whatever remaining adrenaline you had to stumble to the barrier and collapse into the first pair of arms.

"Can you hear me? Are you okay? Can you tell me if you're hurt?" The questions were hurled at you from all directions, but you couldn't speak. The head marshall walked up, bracing your body, and checking for injuries. In a hurried voice he asked for the stretcher, but you shook your head. The exhaustion was setting in but you knew you had to let the others know you were okay. But he insisted, and you found yourself sitting on the stretcher instead of lying down, as a medic gently removed your helmet and peeled off the remaining burnt glove, and pressed some ice gently against your burn. Mustering up your remaining strength, you turned to one of the broadcasting cameras and flashed them a tight smile and a thumbs up.

"And as you can see, she has managed to get out of the wreckage, by God's miracle. Thank God she's walked away from that, but how, I cannot comprehend! She went barelling into the barrier and burst into flames and she walked out alive! And I can hear the cheers of the RedBull team, and I think her race engineer is in tears. I can't begin to imagine how Max Verstappen must be feeling"

------------

Max Verstappen wasn't sure how he was feeling either. He had felt fear, anger, anxiety, more fear, devastation and dread in the longest 15 minutes of his life. But you were alive. And he felt like breaking down, but he had to be strong for you. He watched your tired form on the screen, feeling giddy with relief, and ignoring the others around him, he ran to the medical hospitality center. No one stopped him.

As the white building came into sight, he heaved a sigh of relief as Michael Masi appeared in front of the cameras to give the anxious fans an update. "Y/N is alright. She's currently in recovery, and I can inform you that she is okay. She has minor burns on her hands, and is exhausted, but she will be okay. 2 weeks healing time for the burns, and some proper rest should be fine for her. That's all I know, and I would ask the media, press, social media fans, and others to give her the time she needs to cope and recover. What she has been through is traumatizing and I hope you will respect her privacy at this time. Thank you"

Seeing his hesitation, the nurse turned to the driver, "It's okay. She's fine now. She's on some painkillers and I've cleaned her burns and dressed them. She will be fine, and you can hug her or whatever you want, she won't be hurt. I've kept some painkillers on the table, she should take some again in 2 hours or so" All Max could do was nod, suddenly feeling a lump grow in his throat. With a smile in your direction, the nurse walked out of the room, leaving you alone with Max.

Max turned to nod at the race director, before hurrying through the brown door that led to the medical room you were in. When he walked in, his entire body relaxed. You were alive and safe. Seeing you sitting up in bed, a bottle of water by your side as a nurse wrapped your burnt hand in a white bandage. Looking, your tired eyes met his blue ones, as a tired smile made his way to your face. "Y/N",he said breathily, "Thank God you're alive" he said, practically running over to you, but he stopped himself from hugging, unsure of if it would hurt you.

"Hey baby". All it took was two words for him to rush towards you, gently wrapping his arms around your form, burying his head in the crook of your neck, as a gasping sob left his mouth, and you could have sworn you felt your heart shatter. "I'm okay baby, I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm okay" your mantra of "I'm okay" was soothing, as he sobbed into your shoulder. "I thought I'd lost you, you scared me to death!" "I know my love but I'm here and I'm okay" "I thought you were gone. When I saw the flames behind me I didn't even know it was you in the car. When they told me it was you I swear my fucking heart stopped, and all I could do was pray to whatever higher power exists to save you, because I'm nothing without you. If you hadn't made it, I wouldn't survive. You make me better, you help me love, and you let me heal. I love you, and I never, ever want to see you in a situation like that again"

"I love you too" you said, your eyes filling with tears as you listened to him speak. "I love you too" you repeated, gently lifting his chin so his eyes could meet yours, his tear stained cheeks and red eyes breaking your heart, as you tilted your lips to meet his. He returned the kiss with desperation, he needed even more proof that you were alive, and feeling your lips on his were a reminder that you were alive and weren't going anywhere. He kissed you with fervour, hands moving to your hair, one cupping your cheek as his thumb traced your cheekbone, your hands clutching his broad chest.

"Ouch" the soft cry made you two break apart, as you rubbed your stinging hands. "Did I hurt you?" He said, his eyes filling with worry. "No its just the burn. It'll be fine" you replied, shifting in your bed and patting the spot next to you. After a moments hesitation, he climbed in, raising the sterile white sheet and tucking the both of you in. You snuggled up to him, arms wrapping around him as you rested your head on his chest. He rested his chin on your head, one hand running through your hair, the other keeping you stable on his chest. Within seconds, you were asleep.

Looking down at your sleeping form, his eyes lingered on the white bandage covering your burn, his eyes filling again as it stood out against your skin. He hated it. It was a reminder that you had nearly died. He had nearly lost you. His train of thought was cut off by his phone ringing, his mum's caller ID flashing across the screen.

"Hi mum" "Is she okay?" His greeting was pushed aside, his mom far too concerned about Y/N. "Yes she's alright now. She's sleeping now, Yeah I'm with her now" "Y/N's mom is with me too, I'll let her know she's okay" "Thanks mum" "Don't forget to rest as well Max" his mum said, knowing full well that her son would forget about taking care of himself when it came to his love. "I will"

And he cut the line. He looked down at you one more time, pressing his lips to your forehead, and swearing to himself that he would protect you for all his life. He let his eyes close, the exhaustion finally getting to him, all his adrenaline and energy draining out his body, and finally content that you were going to be okay, he let his eyes close.

You were going to be okay.

[laviexenrose]

richardxoliverxmayhew​:

The moment fresh tears came streaming down her cheeks, Richard’s face paled into that of pure guilt. “Is… Is, I’m sorry. I-… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.” Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in his arms and hug the pain away. Then again, who’s to say that doing so would do nothing more than fan the flames of their evident rift. Instead, all the young private could do was stand there. Christ, he felt useless. A coward. He couldn’t even comfort the woman he loved, and for what? For a man who wasn’t even the room right now? – No. No, that would be wrong. Isabelle was happy. Happy in her marriage. He couldn’t pin the blame on her husband like that. And yet, the Scotsman’s emotions continued to flood his chest. 

“But tha’s just it, Is. I can’t move on! I just can’t! Even if I tried I wouldn’t be able to… Is?” Immediately, Richard’s guilt melted into that of pure and unbridled panic. “Is!” The Scotsman wasted another moment. He ran to her side, before placing an assuring hand upon the small of her back. It was the baby. Richard may have been nothing more than a grunt, but even he knew when something was terribly, terribly wrong. Even if he called for help now there might not have been enough time to sit about and wait for the doctor. Richard had to take matters into his own hands. So, he did the only thing he could do. Without wasting another moment, Richard gingerly scooped Isabelle into his arms, before cocooning her in his arms. “It’s a’righ’… Yer’ gonna be okay, Is, y’hear me? I just need ye’ to hold on for a wee bit. Just hold on.” With Isabelle huddled in his arms, Richard ran as fast as his legs could go, and then some. Piercing pain flooded against his wounds. His lungs burned with the desire to stop. To cough. To breathe. Yet, the young soldier didn’t stop. Instead, he kept on running. For Her. For Isabelle. For her baby. “I need a doctor! Please! I need a doctor! She’s with a wee baby! Somebody help us please!” exclaimed the young soldier, as he trampled through the hospital doors. Hopefully it wasn’t too late.

As Isabelle helplessly clung to him, the pain intensified. Despite being fully aware she needed to remain calm, for the baby, her heart rate spiked at an alarming rate while she struggled to breath through the increasingly sharp, stabbing discomfort. It was too early to welcome the baby! No, this couldn’t be happening, could it? Not to her. Isabelle pressed her face into his chest, muffling the sounds of her agonized cries and groans. “God, please, the baby… my baby…” When they reached the hospital, she was more terrified than before. “Don’t leave me, Richard, please don’t go,” she begged him, her voice trembling amidst the pain. The request was purely selfish, and she should have never asked him of such a favor he would have undoubtedly felt compelled to fulfill, given how panicked and frightened she looked.

… In the back of her mind, Isabelle knew the right thing to do would have been to call for her husband. As horrible as it sounded, she didn’t want him there. She didn’t want him at all. And she’d have to deal with him later, but she’d honestly forgotten about Ronald after falling asleep. When she awoke, she carefully sat up, looking around the room for Richard, but he was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he had left once he saw that she was fine, and the baby was too, but then he reappeared at the door, holding what looked like a small cup of tea in his hand. Isabelle smiled softly at the sight of him. No sooner had the relief of seeing Richard washed over her when she quickly remembered the conversation they were having before the terrifying ordeal had begun. Guilt slowly crept into her. “Thank you. Y- You didn’t have to stay. I’ve certainly kept you long enough. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused…” The guilt spread from within over to her features.