#but for the sake of explaining the in world logic there has to be a differentiation made on “intelligent” and “stupid” candy people
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spicedfink · 1 year ago
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Break down of Lemongrab (or something):
Lemongrab has similarities to PB the way her made up family members (Uncle Gumbald, Aunt Lolly and Cousin Chicle) did but he struggles unlike them. I think PB was trying to make an intelligent candy person and used part of Neddy to make him and when Lemongrab didn't act the way she had hoped she assumed his needs matched up with Neddy's
PB thought Lemongrab needed space, she felt she had failed him because he didn't find comfort in things she thought should be comforting and she couldn't understand him.
PB gave up on making intelligent candy people after Lemongrab because it seemed any candy person who wasn't dumb downed was going to be miserable no matter what
Also parallels can be drawn to Goliad - where Goliad was just doing what she was taught, when she was reprimanded and told she misunderstood/was wrong Goliad decided her way is best and that she must be right (driven by the mixed messages and contradicting information she received). PB deals with her by putting her into a standstill against her new brother
PB, Uncle Gumbald and Lemongrab all have a need for control, it takes different forms and reaches different degrees but the key difference is their motivations: PB wants love, Gumbald wants power and Lemongrab wants order. Though unlike Gumblad the other two have further motivations: PB feels she wants to protect people and Lemongrab wants to understand/be understood by people (there isn't enough time with Goliad to understand her motivations/desires even though she's also shown to be controlling)
Lemongrab was hurt when PB sent him away to live in a castle away from the rest of the Candy Kingdom, she saw him as a failure so he made a point to strictly follow rules - but no matter what he did he was told he was doing it wrong. He bent himself as much as he could just to still be called inflexible and unreasonable. Others couldn't see how much effort he put forward and thus he was treated as if he wasn't trying when he put himself into physical distress just trying to play along with PB's candy ways. So he became resentful
Since Lemongrab 1 was seeking connection with someone who wasn't even there (PB) the joy he felt towards the lemon people was short lived as apposed to Lemongrab 2 who was happy with being connected to the lemon people
The reason the lemon people are different from the Lemongrabs is because they don't have access to the exact ingredients
PB does care for Lemongrab on some level but she has no idea how to express it (and perhaps even fears that if she does he'll see her as weak and try to take her out like Uncle Gumbald did)
While Lemongrab sees PB as a mother figure I don't think PB sees herself as his mother, she created him sure but she assigns roles to her creations that don't always reflect that status
PB disliked whenever Lemongrab acted like her because of her own trauma with Gumbald which leads to some of Lemongrab's confusion (such as when she criticized him for watching her people sleep despite having cameras not just in her citizens homes but also cross boundaries by spying on other kingdoms)
Lemongrab 3 being a mix of the first two felt a struggle against himself, he ignored his conflict by focusing on order because order makes sense. He makes his kingdom into somewhat of a factory as he used rules, order and logic as a distraction from the overwhelming thoughts and feelings he had - similarly to how Lemongrab 1 did before him
When Lemongrab 3 is shown himself via Mathew's vision he is able to finally understand how he is himself, not just PB's creation. It's the first time he really saw himself and that allowed him to accept it (reading him as neurodivergent this could be aligned with getting a diagnoses)
After seeing himself and finding nothing wrong with him Lemongrab 3 starts to feel comfortable exploring more aspects of life instead of just being static and self contained the way Lg1 and Lg2 were (this also reflects how he's no longer letting PB dictate his life)
That exploring new things and actually living his life is what leads to him making a dating profile and meeting LSP (I'm honestly so confused on what the Adventure Time version of dating apps/online dating is since they don't explain if it was via tech or paper or magic or what but LSP does say "on your profile")
Either way Lemongrab is more calm about exploring new things but he also needs order so he is extremally put off by something seemingly small: food on a blanket. (As someone who's cried about a cup being in the "wrong place" I can relate to this intense feeling from something not being done "correctly")
Despite the discomfort and the fact they seemingly only started the date he still tells LSP that it had been nice
LSP thinks he's running away because he can't face his own feelings because she doesn't actually know him yet, they continue going on dates and LSP finds that Lemongrab says what he means. He would have told her if he disliked her without hesitation. LSP is so used to people ignoring her, placating her or lecturing her that she didn't expect someone to communicate in a way she could understand/wasn't condescending towards her
LSP is also pretty straight forward, she isn't great at hiding intention and she clearly states what she's thinking so after she realized she doesn't have to guess what Lemongrab is thinking they actually are able to communicate better then most couples in Ooo
Though LSP and Lemongrab wouldn't have worked out if they met before, they both needed to grow as people - neither of them were actually ready for a relationship before that point. Lemongrab needed to accept and become comfortable being himself/his own person while LSP needed to find out she didn't need to choose weather she wanted to love herself or others, that those things aren't mutually exclusive (if they interacted before it would have turned into the nastiest fight in all of the history of Ooo)
To summarize the 3 versions: Lemongrab 1 longs for PB's approval, he's aggressive and overwhelmed easily and is unable to handle the world being unfair. He is unwilling to take responsibility for himself/his actions and sees himself only as Princess Bubblegum's creation Lemongrab 2 doesn't care about PB's approval, he was made to make Lemongrab happy and he is Lemongrab. After making the lemon people and later Lemongrab 1's abuse he takes on the world view of people need to sacrifice themselves for the survival/greater good of others Lemongrab 3 is able to acknowledge being wrong easier then the other Lemongrabs since he has their residual (if not fully intact) memories. When he sees himself as not just the two before him he's able to start healing. He is now living for himself while realizing the impact he has on others, allowing him to not just be the calmest Lemongrab but the happiest. Unlike the other two he doesn't feel he has to fulfil a purpose
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sleepymarimo · 1 year ago
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𝕨𝕖𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕤
summary: after becoming the greatest swordsman and learning of his bloodline, the next logical step for zoro would be to return to wano and marry into the kozuki family, right? if only you didn't look so good as a bridesmaid... pairing: zoro x afab!reader cw: mdni, vaginal sex, drunk sex, infidelity, cursing, mutual pining an: this idea has been in my head for a while, so... enjoy!
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It's the day of the wedding.
Well, his wedding.
After being the world's greatest swordsman for a few years, Zoro had decided that he had wanted to return to Wano. He never explained why, barking at whoever asked him that it was none of their damn business. The crumpled up paper you'd found in the corner of the training room, which contained details about his lineage, gave you an idea of why he was adamant on returning.
The swordsman was someone you admired very much, from his sometimes frustrating temper to his unshakable will. After sailing together for so long, it was difficult to not develop feelings for him. You liked to think that the two of you were relatively close or at the very least that he tolerated your presence more than others. He never strayed too far from you and even shared his sake with you on occasion, his annoyed grumbles doing little to hide how much he enjoyed providing for you- even if it was just a sip from his bottle.
Your outlooks on life might have been different, but there was a lot to learn from one another. This learning was often done on warm nights aboard the Sunny after a few bottles of sake and a playful spar. Even when there were no conversations happening, you'd enjoy the comfortable silence and the sense of security he brought to you.
Yet, ever since he had achieved his goal of becoming the greatest swordsman, you had to admit that he seemed… different. He of course was as brash as ever, always ready to stand by the crew and act as a protector when necessary, but he seemed to be itching for something. He was lost, plain and simple.
Your mind, ever tumbling with thoughts, wonders what the green haired samurai's goal was in returning to Wano. To reconnect with his roots? To stay? You doubted he would, but the thought still made your stomach drop.
Now, a few weeks later, here you are at the wedding celebration of Zoro and soon-to-be-wife, Hiyori.
Celebration is an understatement, as the whole thing could be confused for a festival. An entire courtyard full of seats, all open to the people of Wano. Its extravagant and lavish, with vendors and performers ensuring that the party would last well into the night. The tables are piled high with a plethora of food and sake. Hiyori had wanted a grand ceremony and it was definitely something, though the large crowd and the unavoidable spotlight didn't seem like something Zoro would enjoy. After the bachelor party, which involved the guys drinking until they couldn't stand, Brook spilled to you and the girls that Zoro hadn't even been the one to propose. Allegedly, he was just going with whatever his teal-haired partner wanted, and she was happy to take over as long as she had the samurai by her side.
The whole thing didn't quite sit right with you, something gnawing at your chest. Jealousy? Worry? You weren't exactly comfortable bringing it up with anyone else, but judging by the knowing looks that Robin sent your way or how Luffy would gaze off to the side and pucker his lips at the mention of the wedding, you could tell that you weren't alone in your thoughts. While you would ask Zoro yourself, the way he responded to Luffy's meddling a couple of days ago has you hesitant to do so.
"But Zoro!" Luffy had whined, wrapping his limbs around the swordsman with a pout. "What about-" Zoro's words were spoken through clenched teeth, one of his calloused hands tightening into the fabric of Luffy's red kimono. "I dare you to keep talking."
Currently, you're chatting it up with Nami and Robin in the bride's quarters. The three of you are in the bridal party, getting ready for the celebration that is soon to be underway. As per Hiyori's request, the bridesmaids are fitted into navy blue kimonos that are woven from the softest material you've ever felt. Your hair is neatly styled and your makeup light as you help the other girls get ready for the wedding. Your chest tightens every time your eyes glance over at Hiyori, her radiant beauty and cheerful demeanor causing your confidence to waver.
The whole thing has you craving some alone time before you go out there and watch your vice captain be wed, so you stand from your mat and give Nami and Robin a small, slightly forced smile. "Hey, I'm gonna take a quick walk. D'you guys remember where that nice koi pond was at?"
Something flashes in Robin's eyes and she sits up a little straighter, giving you one of those smiles that you've come associate with trouble. She gives you directions, but they're a little all over the place and have you questioning every turn. You'd been wandering around the halls for a while now, sure that you were lost as you murmured some curses to yourself.
You're about to turn back altogether when you pick up on a familiar energy. It's Zoro's, of course it is, but there's something different about it. The closer you get to the groom's quarters, the more you pick up on the underlying currents of unease than emanate from his aura. Worry grows in your chest, as such levels of doubt and anxiety weren't usually present in the swordsman. The fact that he isn't even bothering to conceal these emotions is even more concerning, since you knew he had a very good grip on his haki.
One of your hands comes up to lightly knock on the sliding wooden door. You give a small greeting, telling him that it's you.
Zoro, who had been staring blankly at the wall with a bottle of sake in his hand, snapped out of his daze when he heard your voice. He quickly straightened up, his usual irritation returning to his face as he roped in the tendrils of unease that he had unintentionally let slip loose.
"What the hell do you want?" He grumbled, his voice a bit hoarse from the tension. He didn't bother to open the door, expecting you to understand that he wanted to be alone.
“Zoro…” You sigh, your tone laced with caution as you stand behind the door and make it clear that you won't budge until he confirms that he is alright.
"Seriously, I'm fine.” He replied, his voice strained. "Just leave me alone. I'll be out in a minute." His tone was defensive. Though he tried to hide it, he couldn't deny that the weight of the wedding and everything that came with it was overwhelming him. The anxiety and doubts were gnawing at him more than he cared to admit.
Before he could ask you to go away again, he felt a knot forming in his chest. He sighed, realizing that shutting you out wouldn't solve anything. You of all people could ground him, could be there for him when he was feeling things he had no idea how to process. It was a trait of yours he envied, your ability to show people warmth and empathy without a second thought. He needed that, needed you, needed every bit of you.
He finally slid open the door and revealed himself, looking disheveled and restless. His bandana on his arm was slightly askew, and the collar of his ceremonial kimono was tugged open, the belt loose. His green hair seemed even messier than usual, disheveled.
"What the fu-" Your eyes widen and you quickly enter the room, sliding the door closed behind you. The sight of him makes you raise your hands up to help, but they remain suspended in the air as you ponder where to even begin with him. The smell of sake is strong, his posture tense and his eyes slightly blown from the copious amounts of alcohol that's in his system.
“I don’t- Zoro, what’s going on?” You ask, your head tilting.
A light sigh tumbles past your lips as you tug his kimono closed, scrambling to soothe out any wrinkles and make him slightly more presentable. Where were the rest of the groomsmen? Grumbles are all you hear from him and it doesn’t make the process any easier. After you attempt to smoothen out his hair, he scowls and ruffles it up again.
“This whole damn ceremony.” He growls, shaking off your hands and turning on his heel as he walks to the table to open up another bottle. “It’s not-“
A long sigh is heard from him, the sound rumbling in his chest. He takes a long swig from the bottle, wiping away the excess sake from his lips using the back of his hand. He shakes his head and turns back to meet your gaze, taking a few steps forward until he’s in front of you. When he speaks, his tone is stern but forced, like he’s putting in effort to remain calm. “I’m not sure this is what I want.”
His admission leaves you momentarily stunned as you try to make sense of his words. Your hands fidget at your sides, your voice laced with concern. “The wedding? Hiyori?” His state ignites something within you, an overwhelming urge to comfort him in any way you can. "I thought you wanted to come back to Wano."
“Both.” He confesses, spitting out the word like it was made of poison. “And I did. I’m just, damn it, I don’t know! I'm already the greatest swordsman, so I should be out here and doing all this domestic shit, right? Coming back to Wano like my ancestors would've wanted? Marrying into the damn Kozuki family?"
The pieces slowly come together. A swordsman who has accomplished his dream and is unsure of what goal to chase next. On paper, it sounded ideal, like a fantasy that only one in a million could achieve. Yet, Zoro is restless and unable to feel at ease. He's taken to following expectations in a bid to fill the small gap of emptiness that came with establishing himself as the strongest swordsman, a title he fought for almost his whole life. Now that he had completed it, he struggled to find purpose, to find a use for himself other than being a fighter.
His frustration is clear, from the way his jaw tenses to the rigidity of his stance. He’s itching to release his emotional tension, his body twitching in anticipation. It's like watching a caged animal. You’re silent for a moment and sense that he has more to say. He huffs and stares down at you with an almost unreadable expression, the distant sounds of the celebration barely audible through the wooden door.
His mouth opens, before he quickly closes it and clenches his teeth together, looking away. Red tinges his cheeks, from the alcohol or something else, you cannot tell.
“Can I try something?” He asks with only a slight slur, stepping closer. His voice is low and gravelly, his eye shining with a drunken determination that hides something you can't pinpoint just yet. “To see if I’m doing the right thing? With the right person?”
You release a breath that you don’t even know you’re holding, nodding slightly. You’re unsure of what to expect, but there was nothing you wouldn’t do for your crew, especially Zoro.
“Yeah.” You affirm, your voice a bit more timid than you would’ve wanted as you feel the heat radiating from his body into yours.
He grunts in acknowledgment, his eye assessing each and every one of your movements. For a few seconds, he doesn’t do anything. As you’re about to open your mouth, he brings a hand up and places it at the nape of your neck.
You don’t even have time to ask him what he is doing before he brings his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter closed, nails digging into your palms as they tighten in response to the sensation.
It was wrong, wasn’t it? Here he was in his groom’s attire, his own wedding ceremony about to be underway. You should be pulling away, stopping him from betraying the woman he was set to marry within the hour.
Yet, when his tongue swipes across your lower lip, you part them without question. He groans. His other hand finds purchase on your hip, rubbing circles on the sensitive flesh there using his thumb. The sake from his tongue fills your tastebuds as he eagerly explores your mouth, drinking in the taste of you as if it were his own brand of liquor.
You couldn't resist him even if you tried, your hands sliding under the collar of his kimono and gliding along the skin of his shoulders and chest. He melts under your touch and takes this as a sign to bring you closer to him, eliciting a gasp from your lips when you feel his already half-hard cock rutting against your tummy.
A string of saliva tethers you two together when you finally pull away, your face hot as he stares down at you with a possessive affection. His gaze shifts from your eyes to the rest of your form, your figure accentuated by the kimono that hugs you.
The effort he puts in is minimal as he wraps his arms around you and raises you off the ground, your hands tightening on his shoulders, though he wouldn't dare drop you. He lays you on one of the soft mats which adorn the groom's quarters, kneeling between your legs and lazily grinding his hips against yours. The sensation has your back arching and your panties dampening.
"Least Hiyori can do one thing right." He drunkenly groans as he continues to grind his dick against your clothed slit, his hands firmly gripping your thighs as he looks down at you. His words are slightly slurred, the lust in them more than apparent. "Gettin' you all nice n' pretty for me, wrapped up like a fuckin' gift."
You hiss and buck your hips to meet his thrusts against your core, your hands tugging at the collars of your kimono in a bid to find some reprieve from the heat that's coursing through your veins. He gets the idea and doesn't waste another second before sliding the fabric off of your shoulders.
His steel colored eye drinks in every inch of you, his hips jolting forward when his calloused hands cup your breasts and knead the soft flesh. Your whines only increase when his thumbs tease your hardened nipples, sending waves of pleasure right to your core. You catch sight of his tongue swiping across his lip before he leans forward and captures one of the pebbled buds into his mouth.
Your hands tangle into his green hair as you hold him there, his fingers lightly tugging and rolling at one nipple while his tongue swirls greedily around the other. The groan he lets out against your breast is desperate and hungry, his hips continuing to grind against yours. He's completely hard by now, and what you feel against your clothes has you thinking about how full you're going to be.
Its already too much and you swear that you're seeing stars.
Through pants, you manage to grab his free hand in one of yours and guide it towards your aching cunt. As soon as his hand slips past the waistband of your underwear, his fingers become coated in your arousal. They swirl just outside your entrance before coming up and messily rubbing at your clit, making you gasp and clench around nothing. When he finally slides a finger inside, your walls pulse around the sudden intrusion. He shudders, wondering just how good it'll feel around his cock.
He adds another finger, then another, every thrust and curl bringing you closer and closer to the edge. When he hits a particularly sensitive spot, you choke out a low moan. "There, there, there!" You cry, feeling your thighs starting to tense.
A low, guttural noise erupts from his throat at the way your pussy is starting to tighten around his fingers. He tugs on your nipple a little harder, his teeth grazing along the other. The sound of wet slaps echo throughout the room and its downright dirty, only increasing your desire for him. Your pupils are blown when you look down at him, his ceremonial kimono making him look unbearably handsome. He makes for one hell of a groom.
When you gasp, he gives your nipple one last lick before gazing up at your face, eager to see you come undone. "C'mon dollface, give it to me." He gruffly orders, curling his fingers just a little more.
You only babble his name before everything gets hazy. Your walls clamp around him and your hips buck desperately into his fingers. The waves of pleasure cascade down your whole body and in the midst of it all, Zoro leans forward and captures your mouth in his. He eagerly swallows all of your moans and cries, continuing to thrust his fingers into you until he deemed it necessary to stop.
Satisfied by the blissed out look on your face, he tugs off his hakama and frees his cock from its confines. He gives it a stroke or two to relieve some of the tension, before he aids you in shedding the rest of your kimono.
He settles once more between your thighs. His eye is fixed on the wetness pooling in your core, his hand lazily guiding the head of his cock up and down your slit.
“Been thinkin’ about this pussy for way too long.” He growls, positioning himself in front of your entrance.
His tone has you whining, your hips gyrating in a way that has his tip slipping into your cunt. The action has him groaning, his patience finally snapping as he buries himself inside of you to the hilt.
The stretch is mind blowing, your hands coming up to his biceps and squeezing the taut muscles in an attempt to ground yourself. Your body reacts to the sudden fullness by clenching tightly around him, the spasms only serving to heighten his pleasure. The grip he has on your hips strengthens and you’re sure it’ll bruise.
In his drunken state he wastes no time, his hips hammering into yours with utter desire. His breaths are heavy as he stares down at you, enamored by how your mouth hangs open and how you cling to him so desperately.
Your back arches, hips angling in a way that has jolts of pleasure running up your spine.
“H-hah! Zoro!” You babble, your whole body hot with delight. His biceps feel like steel under your palms, the sensation making your head feel even lighter.
Your pleas spur him further and he tugs your body closer until your thighs rest snugly atop of his. He releases his grip on your hips, placing his forearms on either side of your head as his thrusts become short and forceful. The muscles in your legs tense at the new angle and you mewl.
The tip of his cock pounds into your cervix, making you let out a choked moan as the pain and pleasure mingle into one glorious sensation. Your arms wrap around his shoulders and you bury your head into his neck. With a light head, you plant sloppy, open mouthed kisses onto the sensitive flesh there in an attempt to return a fraction of the pleasure he’s giving you.
“Fuck!” A groan tears out of his throat and you can feel the vibration from his chest. “Takin’ me so well.”
A particularly sharp thrust has your breath hitching and your eyelids fluttering, your head falling back slightly. His cheek is pressed against yours, his skin cool and clammy from the thin layer of sweat that has formed on his body.
Your eyes lose focus and you pant helplessly. His earrings dangle in front of your face, the metal pieces clinking together in a rhythmic melody that rings louder than the wedding bells banging in the distance. “S-S’good!” You stammer, your grip on him tightening.
Another curse or two spills from his lips, his words grunted through clenched teeth. “Yeah? That right?” He smirks, absolutely reveling in your pleasured state, his core tightening as your body clamps around him in the most delicious way. You have him close, too close, and he doesn’t want this to be over just yet.
His cheeks are colored red when he sits up and pulls out of you. A whine falls from your mouth, pleading with him as you buck your hips for any sort of touch. Your thighs hang over his, while his frame towers over you. “M’not done with you, yet.” He roughly reassures while he brings a hand up to your thigh and rubs gentle circles.
He starts to run his other hand up and down his length, positioning the head of his cock right up against your puffy clit as he jerks himself off to the sight of you. Every stroke of his hand has your hips bucking in pleasure as his tip hits and swirls against you, the clitoral stimulation sending you spiraling. There’s not much to do other than writhe and babble praises at him as you feel your climax inching closer, his tip leaking precum right onto your wet clit. You feel another orgasm creeping up on you, the coil in your tummy ready to burst.
"C'mon!" You whine, your hips bucking as you look up at him with desire-glazed eyes. "Zoro, please! Wanna cum!"
He doesn't deny you, he never would, so he makes sure to keep hitting that spot until you're arching and mewling for him. The way your eyes screw shut and your mouth falls open has his chest swirling with pride. Just as you get pushed over the edge, he makes his move.
Without much warning other than a low growl, he folds you in half until your thighs hug your chest and your ankles rest on his shoulders. His hands are secured under your knees, ensuring that you won't wriggle out of his hold. In this position, your pussy is presented to him beautifully and he sinks into you as you cum.
Your walls are still spasming, clenching when he pries you open with his cock. The gasp that leaves your mouth is akin to a sob as he brutally hammers into you, chasing his own high. The overstimulation is too much and you try desperately to wriggle from his hold, but its useless.
Yet, when your eyes catch a glimpse at his expression, his lustful gaze and reddened cheeks, you can't help but let him crack your knees open a little wider.
"Atta girl." He praises with a half smirk, his thrusts becoming short and erratic.
His grip on your knees tightens and he throws his head back, utterly consumed by how your plush walls are squeezing him. When his breath hitches and he grunts out you name, its not long after that you feel a hotness in your core. His cum coats your insides in bursts, the thick, white ropes pooling all around. Everything sounds more wet, more raw, as he continues to shallowly thrust into you, riding out his orgasm.
He finally lets your legs go and they tremble as they settle back down around his hips. When he collapses onto you, his skin is hot against yours. He rasps out some breaths, his back slowly falling and rising. You can feel his heart beating strongly against your chest, the sensation grounding you.
His body atop of yours serves as a sort of anchor, your thighs twitching as his hips continue to gently rock against yours. He takes a few deep breaths, his head turning to the side to catch a glimpse at you. Lazily, his nose nuzzles your temple.
“Fuckin’ marry me, woman.” He grumbles, his tone stern as his eyelids flutter closed. "You're the one I want.”
Of course, you can't say no.
In your post-coital haze, you can't help but wonder what mess is going to come from this, but Zoro has always had a way of calming your ever-racing mind. So instead, you sigh, running a hand through his slightly dampened hair as a corner of your lips quirk up into a half smile. "Can we still have cake?"
He snorts in an attempt to hide his laugh, saying nothing as he flips you onto him and gives your ass a slap.
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uyuforu · 7 months ago
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Astrology Observations VI
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Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules ; instagram
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❀˖° Having a 12H Sun in Solar Return Chart is not for the weak. Your life could "fall apart" during this time, you can have a spiritual awakening, a very hard time in fact. I also noticed it can also mean (doesn’t need to be that, it CAN mean) one of your loved one can pass away unfortunately. It happened to me and a lot of people who also had their sun in their 12h, but not all of them! Usually, you have a hard time in general. But you’ll be fine, it is meant to happen for a reason.
❀˖° Synastry aspects are good to look at but the houses where the aspects fall is very important!! Sun conjunct Moon will have a different meaning where it falls.
❀˖° 7H synastry can mean a wonderful connection and desires to marry. BUT! The 7H can also be the house of enemies, so not everyone’s sun falling in your 7H means you have a good connection with them! I found myself not enjoying most of the people who’s sun fell in my 7H…
❀˖° Underrated Houses in Synastry: 2H, 4H, 6H, 10H.
❀˖° When looking at your Solar Return Chart, check the Synastry it has with your Natal Chart. It will tell you where those placements are felt within you. For example, my SRC’s Sun is in 12H and fall in my 10H this year. I’m having a lot of mental breakdown when it comes to my career, and since it conjuncts a big stellium of mine in my Natal, I just feel like my whole world is falling apart 🥲
❀˖° Please remember: North Node PC will tell you about your Soul purpose WHILE your MC will tell you about your career that is best suit for you. Your NN will never tell you about your career!!
❀˖° Union in your SRC could be the person you will meet this year that will have the strongest influence for you this year.
❀˖° 10H will tell you where your FS was born... ☺️
❀˖° 4H Sun people love to stay at home! Even if they are on a date, they will try to continue the date at home, because this is where they feel the most comfortable.
❀˖° Sun conjunct Mercury in a MC PC is a huge indicator of using communication daily to work, your tool n°1 is your voice!
❀˖° Aquarius Sun 4H are so private!! Aquarius usually are quite private people because they enjoy being mysterious and controlling what people think of them, they like that people don't understand them. But in 4H??? they will lie for the sake of their privacy.
❀˖° Opposite signs aren't that different in the end, they are very similar in fact. Capricorn & Cancer are both very family oriented for example. One is logical minded while the other is more feeling driven.
❀˖° Scorpio Rising have something so intense in their gaze, it's truly something you can't put words on. But once you see this gaze, you know.
❀˖° Chiron in 9H Synastry could be that you think you are too different because of the culture, the language, the beliefs, etc. BUT! If you are from the same place, it can just mean you don't understand each other, you are just basically too different.
❀˖° My step mother and I hated each other, and she had her Moon and Mercury in my 7H. Yep, she hated me. She was often insulting me or even trying to manipulate me with words.
❀˖° Saturn 7H Synastry can mean Saturn person feel like it will never work out between you two. But it could also mean they see you long term, depending of other placements.
❀˖° Sun in 5H Synastry usually means the person really enjoy your presence and think you are fun!
❀˖° Venus 6H Synastry means the Venus Person feels safe around you.
❀˖° You can tell by doing a Synastry with a Celebrity if you can hope to meet them one day. Usually Saturn in 9H or 1H is a sign you will never meet them. Of course, this is just an observation.
❀˖° I checked my Synastry with my first love, and it explained a lot. I have a stellium in his 7H, and of course, he was my first love.
❀˖° But I never expected to got his Venus in my 5H! I never knew if he had a crush on me too or if I was delusional lol.
❀˖° His Sun conjuncted my Neptune, he misunderstood me most of the time. He was seeing me in a way that was so untrue lol.
❀˖° He also had his Sun 1H, he was soooo popular among girls! Any girls from middle school had a huge crush on him at some point.
❀˖° He also had a stellium in my 4H and we were childhood friends.
❀˖° My sun conjuncted his Moon. Now, I had nothing against him, I thought he was funny. But he was indeed seeing me in a light that wasn't me.
❀˖° My Venus conjuncted his Vertex, I suddenly fell for him, and it must have been fated in a way?
❀˖° Though, his Mars fell in my 1H... man thought I was very good looking (he told lmao).
❀˖° Sagittarius Rising in Composite could indicate a mixed couple, but it can also mean you are so different no one expected you two to be together.
❀˖° Union 9H in Composite could mean you met in a foreign country, but also in school!
❀˖° Sun in 11H Composite means you are friends originally. Or just friends lol.
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❀˖° Ceres 7H Composite could mean you care a lot about each other.
❀˖° Venus in 7H or conjuncting DSC Composite means one of you or both of you desire to marry each other.
❀˖° Pluto 12H to me is not that good usually. Anytime I saw this placement in Composite, the couple or the people never stayed together. It always ends. There can be exceptions of course.
❀˖° Saturn 5H in a romantic Composite means you will most likely never date, there could be obstacles in this union.
❀˖° Mercury conjunct Saturn Composite means misunderstandings and miscommunication.
❀˖° The year I had this first love, I had a 5H stellium in my SRC, and this stellium fell in my Natal 9H! It was indeed a school love lol.
❀˖° I also had Venus conjunct Vertex, it was my first time falling for anyone.
❀˖° The year I told him my feeling and got rejected I had Venus conjunct Mercury in 12H!
❀˖° Juno 12H in SRC could mean you have a secret crush!
❀˖° Sun conjunct Juno Solar Return Synastry is a big indicator of having a crush on the Sun person.
❀˖° Juno/ Mars/ Neptune in 1H Synastry Solar Return is an indicators of finding 1H person veryyyy attractive, it can be love at first sight, but it is def a crush!
❀˖° Transits Moon conjunct your Natal Mars will make your emotions boil lol. You could complain a lot or have a lot of negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, etc.
❀˖° Union asteroid conjunct Part of Fortune Synastry is a sign you were meant to meet in order to bless each other. It's a lucky meeting. It is very good and shows that you will do well in each other's life.
❀˖° My FS is a Pisces Venus 4H and he is the softest!! Just very cute and very soft person... I love him very much lol.
❀˖° He also has Neptune 3H, he tends to lie to protect himself (Sun 4H makes this effect too), but he is also a very good poet writer. He wrote me poems before and I believe he would do well for poetry writing in general.
❀˖° Pluto 1H could be a sign you will experience a drastic change in your appearance some day. If Jupiter is also there, it could indicate a big and major glow up.
❀˖° Juno 12H could mean your FS is a soul connection, someone who could be spiritual and awaken. If it is very close to the Rising, or conjunct 1H, OR in 1H, it could mean you'll probably have love at first sight for them.
❀˖° Chiron Virgo/ 6H/ Capricorn/ 10H could indicate a burn out at some point in your life.
❀˖° North Node conjunct Pluto could mean your purpose in your life will transform you deeply, mostly if it is in the 1H. You will live a drastic change in your life.
❀˖° Sun conjunct Mercury 1H in Solar Return Chart means you could think a lot about you this year, and think about your choices, and how it will play out for you. You will do more "selfish" choices because you want to make the best for you.
❀˖° Do I love stalking people I love or do I just have some heavy Scorpio/ 8H placements?
❀˖° Yeah indeed, Scorpio love stalking, but Gemini love that too!
❀˖° I have Gemini Moon 8H... u get it? lol
❀˖° It is a known thing, but in SRC, 4H's ruler in 9H means moving abroad! Another indication could be a stellium in 9H. But the stellium could also mean coming back to school, so it depends.
❀˖° SRC 4H Ruler in 12H could mean the same thing. It could simply be moving out.
❀˖° Speaking of the 12H in SRC, Pluto & Venus there could be end of a relationship BUT it could also be a spiritual love and you will learn lessons because of it.
❀˖° SRC 7H ruler in 1H could mean being in a relationships and it being part of who you are this year. Or you could appear as very romantic, very loyal too. Could also attract more contracts.
❀˖° Mars 7H in SRC could be an indicator you have a fight with the one you love, more if Venus squares/ quincunx/ opposite it. If you are single, it could show also more motivation towards long term connections.
❀˖° SRC 5H ruler being in the 7H could mean being in a long term relationship but also finding the one you want to marry.
❀˖° Once again, SRC Juno conjunct Chiron could mean you will suffer in love but it is indeed for healing.
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Thank you for reading!
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dragonsoulage · 1 month ago
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What a drag...going shopping with his pretty girl
feat. Shikamaru Nara
Poor Guy, for some occasion you need a new dress, even when his lazy ass wouldn't move, but seeing his girlfriend in a stunning dress could be worth it..
warnings: fluff
Wordcount: 1,4k
Hello world, so since I do my little stuff, here a short glimpse of what it would be like to go shopping with our genius Shikamaru 🤌
English is not my first language and I suck in proof reading lol 👁️👄👁️
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Oh he already groaned in frustration when he heard you wanted to go shopping because you was invited to the wedding of your sister.
Shikamaru was already aware that he not only needed to attend the wedding but also going shopping with you. He sat there looking at you with tired dark eyes while he had a toothpick between his lips, watching how you paced around the room while talking to your mom.
With his oh so smart thoughts he tried to get ready like morally to go shopping with you. Not that he disliked it per se but alone the fact that it was a store full of clothes, hours would go byfor you to look for the "perfect" dress, and he just wanted to chill under the clouds.
But as your boyfriend he knew his duties, aware he needed to do it with you  after all why should he pass the option to "decide" what dress suits you the best. When you then hung up on the phone you looked at him, your gaze loving and excited because of the news.
"Not even a little glimpse of motivation huh." You mused out loud when your eyes locked with his. He took out the toothpick from his lips before he stretched his back.
"We both know I won't even stand a chance against the shopping thing or the whole wedding thing." Shikamaru yawned before you stepped closer to him. He sat on the edge of the bed and you placed yourself between his manspread legs. Laying your hands on top of his shoulders gazing down at him.
"You know when it's really thaaaat bad for you I can-" you wanted to tell him when je really would dislike the idea of going to a wedding ceremony or even shopping, he wouldn't have to, after all you was indeed really understanding. One of the things je loved about you. But the clever shinobi interupted you placing his hands on your waist, pulling you just a little closer and looking up into your pretty face, what showed him how concerned you was. You was could smell the faint scent of cigarettes. He wasn't uncomfortable to go, he was just an lazy ass and he knew that. So Shikamaru would do it, for your sake.
"Nah, even I am aware that this is one of those boyfriend duties I need to attend. And I love you even more than my holy sleep or watching clouds. I will get over it." Shika spoke maybe a little grumbly but that was his decision to accompany you in this. You chuckled then and laid a hand on his cheek marvleing at his skin and you found it endearing how knee he just an lazy ass. A handsome and smart lazy ass to be honest.
"Boyfriend duties hm? But fine I won't complain so get ready, baby. We go shopping this weekend. After all I need a new dress." You Said with that little wicked smile and your sarcastic tone. Why you was just an evil but so pretty temptress? Why does he sacraficed his sleep and lazy afternoons just for you? A mircale he probably would never solve.
And the minute you two stepped into a store he straight wanted to go to the dress section, although you seemed to have other plans, you wanted to browse a little through the store, not just to look at what you need but to see what you might want.
"Babe, you look at this clothes, eyeing saying 'this is cute' just to not even take it to the changing room. So where is the point in that?" Shikamaru asked with that irritaed voice, watching you browse through the section. A small smile tugged at your lips before you turned your head around.
"Not everything has to be logical right? I just want to see what I probably would like but mostly can't afford or don't really need. But I still want to look." You tried to explain that, although it was just typical behaviour for you. He shurgged his shoulders continued to walk behind you.
After you was done and took a few dresses to the changing room, Shikamaru sat down on this armchair in front of it, like the typical boyfriend should do. Just waiting for you to present him the dress you tried on. After all it should be fitting for a wedding.
You took some minutes as you stepped out of the cabin. This dress was indeed really good but you kinda looked not really convinced. His eyes ranked you up and down before they settled on your unsatisfyed face. "Whats wrong, babe?" He asked then, before he would give his opinion. The shinobi was a smart man, not saying something wrong before he would clearly knew what was disturbing you.
"Don't know kinda looks...cheap on me like with those rhinestones...I thought it would be cute but it isn't at all." You sighted and then he cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows pulled together before he rested his chin on his oalm. Yeah he wasn't the one for shopping but he would give you feedback when you really wanted it.
"Well cheap is the wrong word, it's not cheap. It just not bringing out the best. You have better dresses at home." His voice collective as he eyed you. Even when this dress wasn't ideal you still was a sight to behold.
After some more dresses were he always looked up and said something to it. Shikamaru sat there looking down to his fingers that fidget with the hem of his vest. Before you stepped out again. And this time it was the perfect dress. Black and long, flattering your figure and curves. Your waist snatched with a slit in the right thigh. Gorgeous. It was just absolutly gorgeous. When he looked at you he runned a hand through his hair, cleared his throat. Just observing you before he made a move with his finger, what means that you should turn around for him.
Even your backside, he indeed liked it really much in general was breathtaking. The usually so composed and lazy shinobi gluped hard, so his adam apple bobbed in his throat.
"What you say? It's a little bold maybe, usually I don't wear this but-" you wanted to start your explanation but before this could get iut of hand he stopped you. Besides the fact that this was indeed stunning on you this was the opportunity to go out of this shop, you found the dress you would need.
"Take it. You Look good, actually more than good. Flattering even." He replied, still his eyes roamed over you. Such a pretty girlfirend, the young man thought to himself.
After you paid for the dress you and Shikamaru walked out. Indeed it had been a while but it was not so long, as what he thought it would be. A small smile tugged at his lips, a smirk perhaps, a smart smirk. As soon as you two were outside again he lit on a cigarette took a drag before looking at you. "You know probably this wedding we need to attend won't be too bad, then I can oggle you the entire time." Hlhe Snickers at his own words. Before you have him, quiet a playful nudge. "Oggle me huh? I will oggle you too, after all we still need to get something you can wear too, Shika." You spoke and he could swear for a moment he saw a devilish grin. But then the realization kicked in he took the cigarette with two fingers out of his mouth.
"What do you mean with for me?" Poor hoy thinking shopping was over, you still needed fitting shoes and besides that he would need a suit. And Shika probably would look so good in it.
"Like how I said it, clever boy. We need a suit or something like that for you. Oh don't give me that look." You teased, patted his cheek.
"For someone who always knows every move I could make and has like battle strategy plans...you should have known that we are not done yet." You said to him with a small giggle. Then you leaned forward placed a cheeky kiss on his lips before you walked further.
"You will be the death of me." Shikamaru meant before he literally didn't have a choice and continued the shopping spree
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determinate-negation · 2 months ago
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“The magnetic power exerted by patently threadbare ideologies is to be explained, beyond psychology, by the objectively determined decay of logical evidence as such. Things have come to pass where lying sounds like truth, truth like lying. Each statement, each piece of news, each thought has been pre-formed by the centres of the culture industry. Whatever lacks the familiar trace of such pre-formation lacks credibility, the more so because the institutions of public opinion accompany what they send forth by a thousand factual proofs and all the plausibility that total power can lay hands on. Truth that opposes these pressures not only appears improbable, but is in addition too feeble to make any headway in competition with their highly-concentrated machinery of dissemination. The extreme case of Germany is instructive of the general mechanism. When the National Socialists began to torture, they not only terrorized the peoples inside and outside Germany, but were the more secure from exposure the more wildly the horror increased. The implausibility of their actions made it easy to disbelieve what nobody, for the sake of precious peace, wanted to believe, while at the same time capitulating to it. Trembling voices persuade themselves that, after all, there is much exaggeration: even after the outbreak of the war, details about the concentration camps were unwanted in the English press. Every horror necessarily becomes, in the enlightened world, a horrific fairy-tale. For the untruth of truth has a core which finds an avid response in the unconscious. It is not only that the unconscious wishes horrors to come about; Fascism is itself less 'ideological', in so far as it openly proclaims the principle of domination that is elsewhere concealed. Whatever humane values the democracies can oppose it with, it can effortlessly refute by pointing out that they represent not the whole of humanity but a mere illusory image that Fascism has had the courage to discard. So desperate have people become in civilization, however, that they are forever ready to abandon their frail better qualities as soon as the world does their worse ones the obigation of confessing how evil it is. The political forces of opposition, however, are compelled to make constant use of lies if they are not themselves to be completely wiped out as destructive. The deeper the divergence of an opposition from the established order, which ar least affords it refuge from a blacker future, the more easily Fascists can pin it down to untruths. Only the absolute lie now has any freedom to speak the truth. The confounding of truth and lies, making it almost impossible to maintain a distinction, and a labour of Sisyphus to hold on to the simplest piece of knowledge, marks the victory in the field of logical organization of the principle that lies crushed on that of battle. Lies have long legs: they are ahead of their time. The conversion of all questions of truth into questions of power, a process that truth itself cannot escape if it is not to be annihilated by power, not only suppresses truth as in earlier despotic orders, but has attacked the very heart of the distinction between true and false, which the hirelings of logic were in any case diligently working to abolish. So Hitler, of whom no-one can say whether he died or escaped, survives.”
Adorno, ‘Pseudomenos’ (1945) from Minima Moralia
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vani-is-typing · 4 months ago
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okay, wait a sec. there's clearly a lot to be discussed about the umbrella academy final season. lots of messed up stuff, things just left hanging, events that occurred which were only given to us as one liners, without any further elaboration about what happened. but right now my biggest query is, how did the durango reach the earth?
the marigold reached it obviously because of reggie and his whole reset plan to bring back his wife, which i just have no way of logically explaining how that is possible, so i won't get into that. but from what abigail explained of founding marigold and durango, i can only assume that these were elements found solely on their planet, or world, or whatever. that world ended, and before it did, reggie sent some marigold flying over to the earth.
but why in the ever loving fuck, would he also send over some durango, which arrived in the most bizzare of places and forms by the way, when he was perfectly aware of the reaction the presence of marigold and durango near each other caused? it literally does not make any sense for him to send over such a volatile material to earth, where he's attempting to create a new life with the assistance of some sweet, glowing marigold.
and let's say he did this purely for the sake of scientific investigation, wanting to know why this element was so deadly. perhaps he wondered if the reactions it caused with marigold could somehow be weaponized. but that also doesn't make sense, because there was no active research taking place on or around jennifer. she was just the random girl found inside a massive squid, around whom reginald would later go on to form an entire town of brainwashed soldiers in order to prevent her from coming into contact with the marigold.
jennifer's presence is in no way helping reggie achieve anything. she is no public figure he would have trouble getting out of the way, though i'm sure no trouble would bother him in the least. she has no family, no big contacts as far as we know. her entire existence, as far as reggie and his goal is concerned, is redundant.
so why, in this timeline, does he just not get fucking rid of her? why, even if ultimately the presence of marigold is the reason everything keeps getting messed up again and again, does he keep that chunk of durango around?
and i swear to god, if the reason for this turns out to be abigail, because she went all like, "oh, she's just a poor, oblivious girl. let's let her be", i will literally reach inside 'the cleanse' to get that pasty ass couple out and unalive them all over again.
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inbarfink · 1 year ago
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Okay, so here’s the thing about Zim and GIR…
When talking about the idea that Zim might have some affection towards GIR - a lot of people bring up the fact that, like, GIR is even still functioning in the first place. After all, why would the Famously Sadistic and Callous Invader Zim keep around an evil minion who messes up as often as GIR does? Rather than scrap him for parts or just throw him in the trash? ….Unless he had some sort of emotional attachment to that minion in the first place?
But that’s… I’m actually not sure that argument 100% works. Because there’s one important variable that argument discards. GIR isn’t just a regular ol’ robotic minion - he is a special top-secret model SIR Unit personally gifted to Zim by the Almighty Tallests.
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Zim cannot fully discard GIR as a worthless garbage robot that’s nothing but a hindrance to his mission the same way that he can’t discard Earth as a worthless garbage planet with no value to the Irken Empire - because that would be confronting and admitting that he is not actually a great and respected Invader in the eyes of his Tallests.
But I still think there are some other evidence to the idea that Zim likes GIR. Because, I mean, Zim is incredibly lenient towards him.
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Zim… feels bad for yelling at GIR and making him cry. 
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Zim. Feels. Bad. For. Yelling. 
This alone is incredible evidence for Zim’s affection towards GIR.
And that is absolutely not something Zim will do for just any minion. Just look at how he treats his Computer, and not to mention all those poor saps from Hobo 13. 
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The fact that in his deluded world, GIR is supposed to be a top-of-the-line personal gift from the Tallests certainly plays a part. But I also think that while these delusions might explain why he doesn’t throw GIR in the trash… Zim is very good at twisting reality and logic and his own ideology for the sake of justifying his own selfish desires. 
If he actually wanted to hurt GIR, he could’ve very easily rationalized it as ‘you are supposed to be the bestest most prided minion in my army of doom and a personal gift from the Almighty Tallest themselves therefore I will hold you to a higher standard and punish you accordingly’. But instead he is incredibly lenient with GIR and his constant screw-ups and obnoxious whims.
So my read of why Zim is actually fond of GIR in his own weird way is very much tied to, like, a Big Thing about how I read Zim’s character in general. Which is, Zim’s delusion, like Ogres, has layers. Like, there are some aspects of reality that just genuinely never penetrated his thick Irken skull - and there are some things he does realize on some level even as he tries as hard as he can to convince himself otherwise. 
So I think on some level, as much as he outwardly denies it, Zim is aware of how much he messed up things for the Irken Empire in ‘Impending Doom 1’ and how the Almighty Tallests really view him. This is basically how his thought process is described in the Pilot -
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And it’s also supported with how Vasquez describes Zim’s similarities to Dib in some of the ‘Florpus’ interviews.
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Dib is obviously painfully aware of the ways his father does not respect him - but for Zim to similarly want to prove his own amazingness to the Tallest, he has to be aware on some level that the Tallest don’t acknowledge that he’s amazing. And I think it also matches with his interactions with the various Tallests in the ‘The Trial’ Flashbacks. Because he wasn’t originally that feverishly devoted, eager to prove himself and deluded about being beloved by the Tallests as he is right now.
That’s a trait he has developed either in response to his spectacular failure in ‘Operation Impending Doom 1’ or just to Red and Purple - who already knew him beforehand and decided they can’t stand him - rising to power. He is aware on some level of how the Tallests perceive him, and while he cannot consciously acknowledge it, his behavior is him overcompensating for it.
And I think… Zim projects this aspect of himself on GIR. He sees himself in GIR. Not the self he wants to see, the hypercompetent and beloved Invader. But the self he keeps denying - a devoted and loyal minion who despite messing up sometimes (or rather, all the goddamn time), is always eager to please and driven to prove himself.
Which… is also not a fully accurate view of himself, but like I said, it’s Layers of self-delusion. But that’s subconsciously how he perceives his own relationship with the Tallests and how he perceives GIR’s relationship to himself. 
So Zim being so tolerant of GIR’s constant screw ups, never really seriously punishing him, always putting him in important positions in his schemes, always acquiesce to his stupid and annoying whims… that’s because he sees himself in GIR, and that’s how he would like the Tallests to treat him, that’s how he pretends the Tallests already treat him, and so that’s the treatment he gives GIR. He believes he deserves these infinite second chances and high-ranking roles in all of the Empire’s universe-conquering plans despite his constant failures and that’s what he keeps doing with GIR despite being just as frustrated with him as the Tallests are with Zim.
And the thing is, because of Zim’s Extreme Projection to the Max - he kinda got the entirely wrong idea about GIR. Zim is not exactly that eager-to-please loyal drone of the empire - but GIR is not that at all, not even remotely. While GIR might have some affection towards Zim, he doesn’t care at all about the mission - much less being ‘allowed’ to do Important Things Vital for the fate of the Zim’s latest scheme. He would much rather goof off and watch TV then be given any sort of responsibility.
Again, the cupcake scene is very illustrative. Zim thinks GIR is upset because he feels very bad about screwing up their mission and thus is immediately forgiving - but GIR was only sad because he ran out of Cupcake to eat.
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With how distractible and chaotic and generally detached from reality GIR is, it’s… kinda hard to determine when he’s trying to obey Zim’s orders but failing and when he just never really gave much of a shit about them in the first place.
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But he’s usually not even a little bit bothered or upset about the idea that his inaction has put his ‘master’ in mortal danger.
I guess the funny thing is, like, there are times where Zim needs an extra pair of arms or eyes on board - times where he needs the skills of… maybe not GIR but at least a hypothetical fully-functional SIR Unit. But there are many other occasions where GIR is nothing but a burden and annoyance to him and the thing is that they both would’ve been happier if GIR was just allowed to stay home to watch TV and eat babies but Zim keeps putting him in important positions because Zim likes GIR but he’s unable to understand what GIR is actually like beyond an image of all the projected insecurities he can't admit about himself.
And of course, as we all know, if GIR was actually driven to fulfill their mission - that turns out very bad for Zim very very quickly. 
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It’s been discussed before yes yes yes but the fact that in Trespasser Solas declines your Lavellan from joining him because he doesn’t her want to see what he will become.
a) All Lavellan knows is the moral, ethical, and principled Solas, the Solas who acts defensively and practically. Solas has and will act/order others to act in such a way that would break many Geneva conventions if it means succeeding, and he doesn’t want to test Lavellan’s love for him by making her bear witness to that, to choose him when she has no idea the true cost of what she is demanding, not only of herself, but of the world that will be ravaged by all of the terrorism and political maneuverings meant to destabilize and destroy the only world she has ever known. There is nothing more heart-breaking than someone you love forsaking you, to reach that limit one has for another. But equally so, Solas does not want to be in the position where he may be left with the choice between choosing Lavellan or his mission. What he will become may just be a man that would sacrifice her for his plans. He will not let her potentially put her heart on the line like that.
b) He doesn’t want to make her a monster that participates or allows such things, because part of the reason he fell in love with her was because of her goodness. It wouldn’t be difficult to groom her into evil if love was added to the mix. Love can compel you to do terrible things for the sake of a loved one, and Solas does not want to take advantage of her in that way, does not even want to have that temptation or that possibility involved. He is distancing himself to avoid accidentally corrupting the nature of what he believes to be a good, pure spirit. Evil inevitably poisons goodness. The Evil he wields is utilitarian and remorseful and necessary but evil all the same because it will do harm to thousands via the removal of the Veil. The man is planning what is potential omnicide. You cannot participate in that and not have something about you change irrevocably to allow it to happen. Solas, again, thinks of Lavellan as a good spirit. He wants to keep as many “good-spirited people” (kind, good people) intact as possible before he executes his plan. Why, I do not know, but I suppose because he believes that possessing a good spirit means your life will be happier. To be good is to exist well, and as Solas explains, to be good of heart means you will attract good spirits in the Fade and thus your experience in the Fade will be more pleasant, so by this logic he believes that, ideally (strictly ideally, he knows how much reality does not reflect ideals), goodness begets goodness begets peace.
Solas needs to be a monster because truly effective warfare is conducted when principles and ethics are thrown out the window. He does not want Lavellan to witness that and be confirmed in how much of a monster he was, is, and is willing to be. He wants her to remember him as a civilian, as Solas the humble apostate, not Fen’Harel the shadowed and conniving guerrilla war general. Selfishly, he wants her to only love a part of him, the best parts of him, because he is afraid of the whole of him being rejected, because who he is in totality is so storied and convoluted and repugnant that it would require the most extreme cognitive dissonance to be able to love him, and if there is anything Solas hates, it’s people who ignore reality in favor of their own self-serving fantasies. Lavellan would be right to disavow him, and by the same token it would be so terribly selfish of them both if she forgave him of his crimes and he accepted that forgiveness, because his sins cannot be absolved with a single individual’s love. That is the tragedy of their love, because love cannot overcome all that has happened. It cannot redeem or wipe away what he has done, not unless he kills a significant part of who he is, the Ancient Elf, the Rebel, the Failure, the Veil Maker, the Doomer of the World.
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dreamyyesenia · 2 months ago
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Always Keep Simming - No one could take him from her
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When Colin got home, it was already early evening. Aileen was standing in front of their house, waiting. She was sick with worry, as no one at Colin‘s workplace had known where he was. Identifying artifacts could take a very long time though so it hadn’t been the first time that Colin had been gone for an unusually long period of time. However, normally he’d call her and text her frequently, to let her know he was safe. Colin told her he had a lot to talk about and that it couldn’t wait. Alexander had already fed the kids and they were all taking a nap, so Aileen and Colin traveled to the park, to talk in private.
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Aileen had actually always known who Colin really was! Colin had told her everything about his biological parents and their story a few days before he had proposed to her. Colin had never felt comfortable with other sims enough to open up about his past. But her relentless support, trust and compassion had been the reason he’d fallen in love with her anyways… and of course, her brilliant mind. They had agreed to never talk about this topic again and stay far away from the Realm of Magic, for the sake of their children. But now, they had to.
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When Colin first told Aileen about his trip to Glimmerbrook, she was shocked and a bit mad at him. He knowingly went to the place he’d been avoiding his entire life! He’d gone right to the one person his father had tried to protect him from! But, she knew he’d done it for her, for their children and their safety. His selflessness was one of the many qualities she loved deeply about him.
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„Well, how much time has the old crow left?“, she asked, once Colin had finished explaining. „I honestly don’t know. Maybe she took some potions to reverse her age, who knows. I hope I have some time to figure this out“, he said. „I‘m not letting you go. I‘m just not!! I‘d rather be a test subject for aliens forever than losing you!“, Aileen was desperate and near tears. She was always so calm and collected, logical and rarely lost control of her emotions. „Hey, come here“, Colin cradled her face in his hands and looked deeply into her chocolate eyes. „I‘m not going anywhere. This is you and me. Our brains and skills combined, we‘ll find a way out of this. It‘ll be challenging. But I trust in us“, Colin reassured her softly. Aileen embraced him tightly. „The mad scientist and her magical historian. Let’s show the b*tch what she gets for messing with us.“😈
TW: Parental Death. I tried not to go into detail as this is a hard topic for me too. This is the story of Colin‘s parents but absolutely not essential for the story. So, only continue reading if you feel comfortable with this topic 🩷
Colin‘s father, James Gavin Blackburn, son of Jenna Blackburn, headmaster of the Magic Realm, had fallen in love with Colin’s mother, Geraldine Gemma Smith, a sim without magic. They‘d been lovebirds in school. Once his father had graduated, Jenna Blackburn demanded he attend spellcaster university to get the education he needed to be her successor. Still, James snuck out to keep seeing his beloved. One day, Geraldine revealed that she was pregnant! James was elated and made preparations to marry her and build a life together. However, his mother found out about the pregnancy… and demanded Geraldine to stay in the Magic Realm, so she could get the proper care - which was not what it truly was of course, she was held hostage and all Jenna wanted, was the little babe. Even then, she’d started planning to make Colin her successor as her son was apparently a „lost cause“… Colin‘s mother had a difficult pregnancy and unfortunately didn’t make it. James was so heartbroken over this that he got severely ill. One night, Colin and his father escaped with the help of some of their friends in the outside world. However, James was already weakened and the escape took all of his energy that was left. As his last act, he put a protection spell on his son that would prevent any occult from recognizing his magic. Colin was only a few months old at that time and got adopted by his parents’ friends. When he was 18, he discovered the truth about his origins in a letter written by his dad after his birth, addressed to his adoptive parents and asking for help. Desperate to know more, Colin had started his research… but he had promised his adoptive parents (who unfortunately passed away in an accident) never to step foot into the Magic Realm, as his father’s protection spell only worked in the real SimWorld. Until aliens started luring his wife into space, that was…
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wearepaladin · 5 months ago
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Paladin Problem #12
The Facestealer: I know the truth of what you are, Paladin. A true idealist, and thus more of a monster than I could ever be.
Paladin: You want to explain that logic, monster who steals the lives of people they kill.
Facestealer: Precisely. I value their lives, who they are as people. I take the time to know them thoroughly as I become them, so their family and loved ones never know the difference. So long as I exist, they in turn will live.
Facestealer: You, however, would strike me down. Kill their loved ones comfort in my presence, bring about a harsh new reality. For the sake of justice, for a person who only lives on through me.
Facestealer: Creatures of conviction like you perform a thousand little atrocities like this every day. Enforcing your ideals upon a reality desperate for its soft edges, you will make knives upon the feet of the world, so it cannot walk without tracking blood. Even when given the choice between those you love and what you believe is right, you would render them and all their experience and being to be annihilated upon the altar of virtue. Let their blood and souls feed empty notions of right, all so a beast of iron and stone like you can sleep comfortably.
Paladin:
Paladin: There is a grain of truth to what you say. But truth has no grains, only what is, and what isn’t. You murdered people to make their lives and identities yours. Destroying you will remove what vestiges of them you’ve hoarded for yourself, but spare all the lives that you would have stolen. I am a creature of ideal and conviction: I see a bigger picture, but unlike you I can find the threads that make the tapestry: they are all important, but your way would be to take the many pieces of the greater work and forget what they could make together. We are more than the sum our parts.
Paladin: You, however, are not part of that great work. But don’t be afraid: you’ll help me finish it.
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audhdnight · 1 year ago
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OH MY FUCKING GOD
Seriously this has opened my eyes to something that I honestly feel like I already suspected because there is SUCH an emphasis on “teaching them while they’re young” and not turning them out into the world until they are “past the point of no return” like this is why Christian fundamentalists hate college so much, because at that age people are still capable of reversing the damage (at least, a hell of a lot easier then they are at say, fifty). The prefrontal cortex doesn’t finish developing until around 25, so if an indoctrinated teenager goes to college at 18 and begins to see reality, they are much more likely to leave the church than someone who is sheltered from the world until they’re 30.
(Side rant: This is also why it’s so frustrating to talk to Christian adults who seem to be genuinely incapable of thinking logically. It explains a phenomenon that I noticed a long time ago: when speaking to relatives, I attempted to show them that they didn’t actually agree with, let’s say for the sake of the example, capitalism. I would bring up all their complaints with our current system and demonstrate how each one is a facet of capitalism. I was able to get them to agree to each individual point, but when I tried to put them all together as a whole, the person (usually my grandpa) would revert back to “okay the system is flawed but it still works” even though we just spent an hour discussing how it doesn’t work, actually. They are incapable of putting multiple pieces together and viewing them as one whole.)
I remember so clearly growing up the sermons on Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it) and the pastors stirring up panic about public school and colleges stealing our children’s faith and poisoning their minds. I remember how afterwards all the parents exclaimed how their children would never go to college, that this is why they homeschooled, that this was yet another reason why young men should go straight into the work force and young women should immediately get married and become baby making machines. I vividly remember the panic over statistics of how many people leave the faith in college and how it was so much higher than the numbers of essentially any other group.
Fundamentalists worst fear is reality. They do not want their children to have any exposure to any rhetoric besides their own, unless it is presented disingenuously by apologetics teachers. Everything is filtered and twisted and watered down to keep us “safe” from reality.
This is literally how cults operate. Fundamental Christian evangelicalism IS A CULT
This is also why they target vulnerable groups, because like the OP mentions, people who have damage to their prefrontal cortex are much more likely to fall for indoctrination. This is why you see Christian “outreach groups” in homeless shelters and rehabilitation programs and hospitals. This is targeted and it is malicious. Even the “good Christians” who really do want to actually help people are upholding this system that actively harms vulnerable groups.
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hypnoneghoul · 2 months ago
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The Ashes Call My Name
WC: 5k
Relationship: Rain/Everyone (Rain/Dewdrop, Rain/Mountain)
Tags: Ehlers-Danlos Rain, POTS Rain, Mobility Aids, Anxiety, Self-Esteem Issues, References to Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied Anger Issues
He has been ignoring things for far too long and he can’t do that anymore. Or. Rain gets mobility aids and has a lot of thoughts and feelings about that.
Notes: Commission for @everybodyshusband :3
Read under the cut or on AO3.
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The box is ridiculously huge.
Couldn’t they have…folded them? Or get a box that is not going to be more than half empty? It’s a whole business, is it not? Can’t they get custom size boxes for their products?
Rain is stalling; thinking about everything and anything except what actually is inside said box. Besides the air and foil. He does not want to think about it, he just wants to ignore it all.
But he can not.
He has been ignoring things for far too long and he can’t do that anymore.
He can do it—he tries to tell himself—but these simple things seem so big and so scary to him right now; and he’s not even regressed.
Rain’s pack knew this was not going to be easy for him and they all offered their support—whatever he might need. The water ghoul shut the door, though, wanting space, and now he is all alone with the monster that his new mobility aids are.
Two pairs of crutches—one full size in classic black and one small version for when he’s small; these are a glittery purple. Apart from that there is also a simple foldable cane in there—also black. Aether, Swiss and Dewdrop decided he needed to have options; they were the ones to place the order. Zephyr and Omega have also been consulted so that Rain would get what is best.
And now the best is here and Rain is a fucking cunt.
After a while he growls at himself in his mind and with his jaw clenched pulls the mobility aids out of the box. One by one he unwraps all the foil from around them and removes the additional protection before finally being able to take a look at them. 
They are not ugly, his pack did good in case of picking the style—they know Rain better than he knows himself. But it’s not about that.
It’s about what they mean, how they are going to become a big part of his everyday life. Well, how they are supposed to become a big part of his everyday life.
Rain is scared—he has been since his initial diagnosis; just a few months after he has been summoned. He thought it was normal to be in pain Topside, but after a heart-to-heart with Aether he found out it is very much not. The other quintessence ghoul—Omega—examined him and explained that sometimes summonings go wrong and the ghoul comes out…well, wrong. In Rain’s case his body is a little loose where it’s not supposed to be and that leads to him having a plethora of issues.
He thought he had accepted his fate long ago—after a lot of mental breakdowns—but now when it has become so bad he is all but being forced to use mobility aids, he realizes he has not truly accepted anything about it.
He's a ghoul, for Satan's sake—an immortal demon. How and why is he broken?
Logically he knows the…science behind it, but he has never managed to find an answer to ‘why’? Why him?
Of course, if Rain was presented with a choice of transferring his pain to someone else he would never do so. Being essentially stuck in one's own body—something that is supposed to be theirs only to have control over—and being forced to have one's life restricted just for that reason is…well, awful.
Rain is mean quite often, but he would never even joke about that.
He doesn't even have the energy to be mean now. Not to himself, not to the mobility aids, not his to his pack and not to the entire fucking world. The water ghoul is just tired and it is hard for him to see a point in trying harder.
Even if…try harder to do what? Omega told him there is nothing to be done for him. He is only going to be getting worse year by year. The pain is never going to go away.
Rain does not remember what it means to be pain-free, anymore.
What did it come to?
Maybe Rain should just go back to the Pit—beg to be sent back. It would fix him, issues like his do not exist down there. It’s not like he is very useful Topside, and he will only be becoming more of a burden.
The water ghoul wonders if his pack would understand if he made that choice. If his wish would even have a chance of being granted, or if he would have to take the matters into his own hands.
Traumatizing his family is not his goal, though, so he would rather not have to.
It's hours after the water ghoul has opened the package when he finally decides to try his new mobility aids out.
He gets up and kicks some thrash under his bed and desk to make a path to walk through. He goes for the cane first and it's not long before Rain can’t hold back his tears. He can’t even walk with it properly—at least he thinks so—it doesn’t feel right. It feels wrong.
His eyes sting to a point of pain, but he realizes he doesn’t care. No one is there to witness the pathetic image of him like this, anyway. The water ghoul lets the tears flow as he clumsily walks around his room, trying to think positively, trying to look for some benefits of this situation.
Rain finds none, there is no relief as he uses the cane. His cane.
But he carries on for a while longer—until the tears dry on his cheeks and more does not follow, until his entire body is sore from walking and crying and all the stress.
He tries the crutches, too, for a short moment, but they are even more overwhelming.
Rain goes to bed early, after throwing the damned things under his bed with as much force as he could muster up—hoping they would break. He knows it wouldn’t change much; the pack would get him another pair, not minding the money. Rain can’t do that to them, though, they do not get paid enough for that. 
He grabs his phone for his usual pre-sleep doom scrolling. He finds a few messages from the pack, but doesn’t cheer much when he sees that it is even more motivational TikTok videos about how mobility aids are exactly that—aids—and they should not be seen as a burden, but rather a tool to help one live their life more fully. Logically, Rain knows that is true and he is all in for people using mobility aids of all kind, but…well, people. Humans.
Not a ghoul.
Not him.
He turns his phone off after a few minutes and wraps himself up in his comforter—he has to change the position after a moment, though, because his bent elbows start to hurt. He closes his eyes and wishes to wake up in a better world, where all this is nothing more than a cruel dream.
Rain wakes up in pain. Of course he does—that is not new.
What is new is the pain in his hands, though. When he wakes up enough to think clearly, he realizes the cause and gets even more angry about the whole thing.
Weren’t mobility aids supposed to be helpful? How is trading the pain in his legs for the pain in his arms fair? As a bassist he needs his arms painless even more than his legs, does he not?
He makes his way down to the common room just for a second—to grab a quick snack that could count for breakfast and then return to his room to wallow in his misery. 
The next time Rain leaves it it is for dinner that he spends half-dissociated. He does not remember moving to the couch, but he finds himself curled up in its corner, wrapped in a big crocheted blanket made by Cumulus.
„What’s got you so lost in thought, fish boy?” Dewdrop’s voice snaps Rain out of it. He didn’t even notice him coming over and the fire ghoul is already sitting comfortably on the couch next to him.
“Huh? Oh–uh, nothing important,” Rain replies, shrugging and starting to worry his bottom lip between his fangs. “What’s up with you?”
Dewdrop does not answer him, not right away; he stares deep into the other’s eyes without blinking for a few moments. His own amber ones are piercing and Rain finds himself desperate for an escape, but there is none—not from Dewdrop.
“Are you alright?” the fire ghoul finally asks.
And despite wanting to say ‘yes’ so badly, Rain can not lie so outwardly. Not to him. “Yes? No? I don’t know?”
The fire ghoul hums in acknowledgement and without a word stands up. Rain watches with furrowed brows as Dewdrop disappears into the kitchen. He comes out a moment later with a literal armful of snacks and drinks—despite having eaten dinner less than half an hour ago—making Rain chuckle at how comical the image is.
“Droplet, what are you doing?” he asks.
“We are watching a movie,” Dewdrop informs him before dropping his cargo onto the couch next to Rain. He grabs the TV remote next and one more fluffy blanket out of their blanket basket before flopping down by his mate himself.
The water ghoul, of course, does not protest when Dewdrop shuffles in as close to him as possible and curls up against his chest—all warm and purring. It’s extremely cozy and Rain is so grateful for Dewdrop’s method of comforting his mates. He is not great when it comes to talking about one’s feelings, but he sure does know how to distract and cheer someone up.
“What do you want to watch?” he asks and Rain could just about melt over his voice vibrating as he does not pause his purring.
“Uhm…something funny. Like–I want my stomach to hurt from laughing, you know?”
“I’ve got just the thing.” Dewdrop grins and pokes out his tongue as he looks for the movie and then puts it on. For a while Rain stares only at him, ignoring the TV, and all the thoughts from earlier come back, nagging at him.
Dewdrop is so good to him, always taking care of him so well, but it’s just…unfair. Rain should take care of him, too, but he does not and he is only going to become more needy and less able to return the favor.
Surely, the fire ghoul will grow tired of him and turn to someone else, to someone who can give him what he needs whenever he needs it, not only when they are feeling good.
He can’t even–how would he even carry his own bass if he has to walk with the crutches? They will make him even more useless than he is now, he can endure the pain if it makes him less of a burden.
Rain is sick of himself.
Dewdrop shaking against him makes the water ghoul’s head snap in his direction; afraid that he has unknowingly—somehow—made his mate cry. Thankfully he’s only laughing and Rain fakes his own so it’s not so obvious he was zoned out again.
He takes a few deep breaths and focuses on Dewdrop’s warmth, the vibration of his purr, and the movie. It actually is hilarious, the fire ghoul made a great choice. He grabs Rain hand at some point and does not let it go until the movie ends, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the water ghoul’s pale skin.
When the first movie ends and more than a half of their snacks are devoured, Dewdrop puts on another one before Rain could protest. He wasn’t going to, either way, though.
The fire ghoul does not speak much as they watch, but when the second movie ends and he is about to put on the third, he turns to Rain. He gets real close and kisses him between the horns, then on the tip of his nose, and then on the lips, before whispering straight into his mouth, “You know I would go around the whole world carrying you on my back if that would be your wish?”
It punches the air out of Rain’s lungs a little and he feels the need to say it would never happen, that he would not ever demand anything as insane of his mate, that Dewdrop can not actually mean it, but—but the fire burning in his eyes is so bright and pure, Rain can do nothing else but nod in acknowledgement.
“I love you, too, but–" Rain sighs, “what if it’s going to get so much worse and–and I’ll become fully dependent on you, I–I couldn’t ever put that on you…”
“Hey, you’re not ‘putting anything on me’,” Dewdrop says, making air quotes as he does. “You’re my mate and I love you and you can’t get rid of me now even if you tried. I’m not going anywhere, whatever happens. I thought I made that clear years ago.”
“You did,” Rain chuckles sadly. The reassurance is nice, but…the fear of making his mate end up miserable and unfulfilled because of some stupid promise he made a long time ago will not go away anytime soon. “Thank you.”
“I enjoy taking care of you, Rainy,” Dewdrop kisses him once again, holding the water ghoul’s face between his hands like the most precious thing. “I don’t mind  if that’s the only thing I get to do for the rest of my life. No matter what, the only thing I need to be the happiest ghoul ever is you by my side, alright? No matter if you can or can’t walk.”
Rain is the one to pull his mate into another kiss, closing his eyes and the distance between them before Dewdrop can see the tears in his eyes. He knows, though—of course he does—and he understands. When they pull away the fire ghoul immediately turns away to snuggle back into Rain’s chest and starts their third movie of the evening. Rain sniffles for a while over his head and is grateful to be ignored. The stupid comedy Dewdrop picked makes him genuinely laugh soon enough.
He does not know at which point he fell asleep, but he wakes up still on the common room couch with their last movie paused at the end. Dewdrop is glued to him, half purring, half snoring.
Rain smiles as his chest warms at the adorable sight of his mate. He adjusts his position before taking one of Dewdrop’s hands into his own and closing his eyes to go back to sleep.
The next time Rain wakes up he is alone, but there is a note next to him. The fire ghoul left to start his chores early—he always does that to have the second half of the day to himself and his pack.
The water ghoul gets himself up and into the kitchen first. He grabs a light breakfast and only then goes back to his room to get ready for his own chores—which are not very urgent or even important.
As he is about to leave his mood sours. His mobility aids are set by the door and all but mocking him.
Rain decides to take half a step towards him winning.
He takes the crutches with him, but only into his hand. He can carry them around most of the day and maybe try to actually use them when his legs get tired.
It’s not a bad plan and he is not even overthinking for the first few hours; it starts only when Rain’s hips start acting up.
An hour more and the water ghoul decides he is done for the day and—and to walk back to the den on the crutches. It’s not going terribly—he is walking with his jaw clenched, trying to focus—but it is not going great, either. He keeps stumbling and tripping and losing the rhythm. His arms start to hurt, too.
The stairs turn out to be his demise, though.
It’s just a few steps—barely a staircase, but it wins that fight.
Rain stumbles on the second step and one of the crutches slips off the edge of it and before he even realizes what is happening he is on the floor with one of his legs bent all weird. It doesn’t hurt that much, but all the frustration and embarrassment and everything about this damn situation makes him want to just cry.
So that is exactly what he does, he starts to cry right there on the bottom of the stairs like a child throwing a tantrum for attention. There is no one there, though, and that makes the water ghoul feel even worse.
He feels his mind slipping and there is nothing he can—or wants—to do about it.
...
(the next part is about rain age regressing. if you want to read this fic properly and are okay with reading agere, head over here and then come back here to continue)
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Swiss followed through on his promise of asking Zephyr to help Rain. The water ghoul is really anxious about the confrontation, for some reason—but also he has been anxious all the time for the last few days, so he should not be surprised. Zephyr told him to come down to the older ghoul’s den; when he does, they are already waiting for him. They eye Rain when they notice he is just carrying his crutches instead of using them to get there.
“Let’s see what you’ve got first,” the air ghoul tells Rain after brief greetings. They are not using their wheelchair now, as they do most of the time—they have their crutches, too.
Rain grits his teeth and takes a few steps forward with the crutches, randomly picking a gait. Not that he knows much about them. Zephyr tuts right away, though, and the water ghoul turns to them with a questioning look.
“They’re too high for you, first of all,” they explain, “your arms and shoulders are going to give you hell later.”
“Well, that makes sense,” Rain mumbles under his breath; not for the other to hear. He returns to the air ghoul and they take the crutches from him to adjust them.
“The handle should be at your wrist when you’re standing relaxed,” Zephyr says and the water ghoul takes a mental note to adjust his cane and the small pair later, too. He takes the crutches back and tests the new height out and—surely—they do feel more comfortable already. “Alright, now, try to walk with them as if you have two canes.”
Rain obliges, putting one foot and the opposite crutch in front of the other and going forward. It still does not feel right, but he definitely has more control over them now. It’s closer to having just…super long arms now.
“Good,” Zephyr praises with a nod. “Yeah, like that.”
A grunt slips from Rain’s mouth before he can stop it. He feels stupid—he is not a fucking child, he can walk, it doesn’t–
“Put some more weight on them,” the air ghoul adds and Rain tries to focus on his breathing and walking instead of the irrational rage building inside him. “Slower with the crutches, I know it’s an instinct to wave your arms faster but you’ll lose the pace like that.”
“Uh-huh,” the water ghoul replies and hates the fact that Zephyr’s tips work. Maybe he should not have come. If he can’t walk on crutches properly they will cause more harm than good and then he can’t be made to use them daily.
But alas, he came. He even knows why, too.
Rain came because deep down he knows it is the right choice.
He only wishes the rest of his brain would get the memo because it is, frankly, annoying to be so conflicted over something so basic all the time.
Zephyr gives the water ghoul so many tips as their lesson goes on that Rain’s afraid that he has already forgotten half of them. If he was not so prideful he would ask the other to write them down for him, but, well…he is prideful.
At some point the air ghoul tells Rain it’s enough for one day and that both his upper body and mind have to get used to the mobility aids. The water ghoul is grateful for the understanding coming from someone who can relate quite literally. 
Zephyr notices the wet glint in Rain’s eyes and the tension in his expression. They know it too well themself. They come up to the water ghoul to offer a half-hug.
“Sorry, I–nevermind,” Rain mutters.
“It’s alright, I know it’s a lot to handle,” Zephyr says. “Especially at first and especially being a ghoul and everything. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?”
“How do you…deal with it?” the other asks in a quiet voice.
“Well, uh, it didn’t come to me easy,” Zephyr chuckles. “I’d even say I was more stubborn about using mobility aids than you, but without them I was miserable most of the time. Now I only see them as something helpful, you know?”
The water ghoul nods in acknowledgment. He wishes his brain weren't so stubborn.
“It would be great just being alright and not having to rely on things like these,” Zephyr sighs, waving one crutch in the air, “but believe me that the sooner your mindset about mobility aids changes the sooner you’ll find peace.”
Rain finds no answer to that. He nods before turning away and he hopes the other understands. The water ghoul squeezes his eyes against the sting of tears and tries to drill Zephyr’s words into his mind, tries to worm them in between the folds of his brain and make it just listen. It does not—not really, not right away—and so Rain lets the tears of overwhelm flow down his cheeks.
He doesn’t notice Mountain standing by their den’s door and watching him with furrowed brows. Rain gets startled when he speaks, “Are you alright, petal?”
“Oh, shit, Mounty, you scared me,” he huffs, faking a laugh to cover up the wetness in his voice. “Yeah, I’m good. Just getting back from…a lesson with Zephyr.
Mountain does not budge, though—standing strong in Rain’s way, with his arms folded across his chest. “Are you sure?”
Rain nods, but if the earth ghoul will not let him go soon, he will break.
“You don’t have to tell me anything, but just…” Mountain sighs. “Rain, do you want a hug?”
And his tone makes the water ghoul break.
He nods as his bottom lip starts to wobble and Mountain wastes no more time before embracing his packmate. Rain just flops face first into the other’s chest and he chuckles sadly, patting him on the back. They stand like that for a little while, neither saying a word until Rain asks to spend the night with Mountain.
He agrees, of course, and picks the exhausted and overwhelmed ghoul up bridal style to carry him to bed. 
“Do you want someone to join us?” the earth ghoul asks and Rain shakes his head.
“Just you,” he mutters. A few more tears fall before he is snuggled all cozy in Mountain’s huge nest. He joins the water ghoul after a quick shower and Rain melts against his warm chest. He’s asleep in a flash.
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A few weeks after Dewdrop’s proclamations and Rain and Zephyr’s heart-to-heart the water ghoul is already quite handy with the crutches. He is using them more than his cane because most of the time both his legs need support, not only one. The cane is now reserved for short outings when he’s feeling confident in his legs. 
There are still bumps in the road—Rain feeling awful mentally and refusing to touch his mobility aids, insisting that he is fine and does not need them. There are moments he falls back into his old mindset of  ‘this is good, but not for me’—his pack always supports him, then, in whatever way he might need it.
So what it took the water ghoul months to get used to mobility aids, to accept needing them, to start seeing them as helpful? Everything is a process and he is lucky to have had his pack’s support all the way, and still have it whenever he is feeling down.
Living with a chronic condition that influences every aspect of Rain’s life is not something he ever dreamed of—obviously—and he would not wish it upon anyone. He is never going to be happy about being disabled, but—in hindsight—he is happy he was pressured into getting mobility aids when he did.
While he thought his life would become limited once he starts relying on aids, it’s the opposite—it has become fuller, because he does not waste as much energy on things as simple as walking anymore; his crutches take that on. His hands might hurt after longer use, but his arms and shoulders have only gotten stronger, and his posture has improved—a side effect Rain had not expected.
Most of all, he is still treated like normal.
That was one of Rain’s biggest fears—that once he grabs a mobility aid he will become less in the eyes of his pack, the Clergy, the Siblings. He could not have been more wrong.
He still is, and always will be just their water ghoul, just their bassist.
He is just Rain.
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serpenera · 1 year ago
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One of the things that most irks me in the HP, and especially Snape discourse, is the misinterpretation of the meaning of the patronus. The general consensus seems to be that the shape of the patronus indicates one’s true love but that is a massive oversimplification that creates numerous inconsistencies. In other words, when we look at it like that, the patronus makes NO SENSE. Except the patronus makes PERFECT SENSE. Just let me explain.
The patronus, as we know, is a charm that repels Dementors - an anthropomorphized representation of clinical depression. Keep that in mind as this is important. You conjure it by focusing on a happy memory or should I rather say a happy thought.
Memory is the word Lupin uses when he first explains the patronus to Harry and I’d argue this is the reason why Harry initially fails at conjuring one. He remembers his first time on a broom and winning the house cup. Both happy memories to doubt but “not powerful enough” as Lupin puts it. So what makes a powerful memory?
Harry tries again and succeeds by focusing on the memory of finding out he was a wizard and would be leaving the Dursleys and going to Hogwarts. What makes this memory different than the other two is that it wasn’t just that of a fleeting moment of glee but of an event that marked a major change in Harry’s life, a change for the better. Yes, it was a moment from the PAST but one that influenced Harry’s PRESENT and FUTURE.
See, this is the key to understanding the patronus. The trick is not to remember a happy past long gone, it’s to find something in the past that gives you a reason to move forward. Anyone, who’s ever been depressed to the point of wanting to off themselves will know what I’m talking about here. And those who don’t, good for you.
Anyway, back to Harry. When he conjures his first fully corporeal patronus at the end of PoA, he thinks of going to live with Sirius. And when he uses the spell again in GoF he thinks of celebrating the end of the Tournament with Ron and Hermione. In both cases, he doesn’t even recall an event of the past but projects into the future. And note that regardless of whom or what he thinks of (and not once does he think of his dad), his patronus stays a stag. Even after his love and admiration for James falters due to the discovery of SWM, his patronus stays a stag. This is because the stag, while visually traceable back to James, does not represent James as a person but rather a concept that James himself is a representation of. The stag stands for family, legacy, and a sense of belonging. What keeps Harry moving forward despite all the obstacles is not the mere memory of having had a dad once, it’s the realization that he’s not alone in the world, that he has friends who care about him, and that he’s part of a community.
If we look at the patronus through this lens we can logically explain the shape and origin of all the major ones present in the books.
Snape is often accused of being a stalker incel and whatnot because (apparently) his doe patronus is the same as Lily’s.
First of all, did you pull that information out of your ass? ‘Cause I checked and nowhere in the book(s) does it say what shape her patronus was. The same goes for James. He was a stag animagus. We don’t know what shape his patronus was. That, assuming they both even knew the charm. Although, as Order members, they probably did. If they hadn’t learned it at school, Dumbledore or another Order member would’ve taught them.
Okay, for the sake of this argument, let’s assume that James’ patronus was in fact a stag and Lily’s was a doe and also that the animals represent them respectively. People will argue that the fact the patronuses match (they don’t actually cause they’re two different species of deer but never mind) implies they were each other’s soulmates. To back that argument they will cite Tonks’ patronus which changed into a wolf after she fell in love with Lupin. At the same time, they will argue that Snape’s doe indicates an unhealthy obsession with Lily. Can you spot the issue with this reasoning?
Snape’s and Tonks’ cases are analog: their patronuses turn into animals related to the other person. And yet in Snape’s case, it’s obsession, and in Tonks’, it’s love?
Lily/James and Tonks’ cases are opposite: Lily/James patronuses turn into animals related to themselves while Tonks’ turns into one related to her love interest. But in both cases, it’s true love?
If Snape’s obsessed with Lily then Tonks is obsessed with Lupin and Lily and James are just obsessed with themselves. Contrarily, if Tonks loves Lupin then Snape loves Lily, and Lily and James, again, just love themselves respectively. Moreover, if you follow either logic, Harry is obsessed / in love with James and Dumbledore with Fawkes.
See how none of that makes ANY SENSE whatsoever? Also, no, it’s not a plothole. Y’all are just looking at it wrong. Now let’s rewind and analyze all of these the same way we did with Harry’s at the beginning of this rant.
James’ case is very straightforward. Similarly to Harry, James finds meaning in the traditional idea of family, clan legacy, and belonging. Remember how on the train to Hogwarts he says he wants to be a Gryffindor just like his dad? That, in my opinion, is already very telling, and considering that right after school James marries the girl he decided would be the future mother of his children and promptly gets her pregnant we can easily deduce what he values and what he believes his higher purpose to be. When facing a Dementor and being consumed by despair, perhaps remembering the loss of his parents and perceived betrayal of his best friends, in order to push through he certainly focuses on his wife and especially his son.
Lily’s doe patronus has nothing to do with Snape. Or with James for that matter. Instead, it has everything to do with Harry. See, many real-life women who find themselves at the edge of despair for one reason or another declare they only push forward because of their children. I think Lily is no different. I mean, she did die trying to protect her child. So I think that facing a Dementor, she thinks of Harry. Her wish to be there for her son and protect him is what keeps her going forward despite everything. She has to be strong because she is needed and that is what her doe stands for.
The doe and the stag, somewhat complementary animals, both symbolize family-related but very different concepts. The stag carries a distinctly masculine meaning, that of the passing of legacy and prolonging the bloodline. The doe has a more feminine feel, that of nurturing and protecting.
Snape’s patronus is the same animal as Lily not because he loves her or is obsessed or even just friends with her. It’s the same because both these characters find purpose in the same thing: being needed.
While for Lily this mindset seems to stem from her motherhood, for Snape it seems to have always been there and for very a different reason. The severe neglect he experienced in his early childhood conditioned him to always seek external validation. It’s as if he couldn’t find value in himself unless someone else found it in him. This is why he was trying so hard to be useful to Lily when they first became friends. This is why he got himself groomed by the Death Eaters. This is also why he was so easily manipulated by Dumbledore.
Speaking of Dumbledore, he has to have taught Snape the patronus charm and it must have happened sometime between his defection and the Potters’ death. Now imagine what that might have looked like.
Dumbledore explains how the patronus works. Snape tries, recalling one of his happy childhood moments with Lily, and fails. He chooses another memory and fails again. Dumbledore tells him it has to be something really powerful. Snape is out of ideas, the only happy memories he has are of his childhood friendship with Lily but that friendship is over, it has been for a while, she’s married to his bully and having his child, and on top of that, she’s being targeted by Voldemort and it’s all his fault. Reminiscing their past together is nowhere near enough to fuel the patronus. Then Snape projects into the future in which thanks to him, Lily is safe, she forgives him for his past mistakes and they make up. This time he successfully conjures his trademark doe.
I imagine that, after Lily died, Snape would have had trouble producing a patronus. That would be until Dumbledore pointed out how even in death she still needed him to protect her child. He would then focus on a future in which Voldemort is defeated, Harry is safe, his debt with Lily is paid and his sins are redeemed.
Dumbledore knows that Snape’s doe patronus is related to Lily but it’s probably because he taught him the charm himself and in doing so he learned that it was thoughts and memories of her that fueled it. Not because it was (presumably, mind you) the same shape as hers.
That said, I’m firmly convinced that if Snape had survived the war he would again have had trouble producing a proper patronus, not because of any change in his feelings towards Lily but rather because with Harry safe and Voldemort gone, he’d find himself lacking a purpose. If, for example, he got himself involved with someone else, someone who would make him feel needed, he might be able to produce a patronus again but it would most certainly remain a doe.
Tonks’ patronus is an interesting one because it actually changes its shape in the course of the narrative. We know it became a wolf after Tonks fell in love with and started dating Lupin.
Yes, it’d be easy to assume that the wolf represents the character whose name is literally Wolfy McWolf and who’s also a werewolf but that would be both shallow and inaccurate.
Tonks’ wolf, not unlike Lily and James’ stag and dear, is symbolically tied to the concept of family and friendship. We don’t know what drove Tonks forward before she became involved with Lupin but we can easily deduce that what drives her afterward is the thought of being with him. When she conjures her patronus, she probably thinks of a future in which they have a proper relationship or perhaps start a family. When Snape makes a dab at her patronus he isn’t just being mean. Knowing Lupin, he probably expects him not to take responsibility for his actions towards Tonks and wiggle out of the relationship the moment things get a little bit too serious for his liking. In saying her patronus is weak he’s trying to warn her not to put her faith in Lupin.
In the end, I’d like to mention Dumbledore’s patronus. Just like a phoenix is reborn from its ashes, Dumbledore rises up from the pit of his troubled youth. When in the vicinity of a Dementor, he must be plagued by thoughts of his misplaced aspirations, of Ariana’s death, and his fall out with Grindelwald. The thought I believe he focuses on in those moments is that of having rehabilitated himself in the eyes of society, and having ultimately become a champion of the light.
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ficks-of-fancy2 · 2 months ago
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MHA is a nightmare and my personal punching bag
A lot of people like to say that MHA is bad. But a large sum of the fandom has largely ignored the actually problems with the story and characters as a whole. The problems that have been applauded despite the gaping flaws. So let's discus.
Where do I start? My Hero Academia is the single most horrible show I have watched for some time. It's good points are far and few between the shit show of it's story and characters. So it's small problems first. It's over sexualizaton of it the teens in it's cast is just abhorrent and I hold similar sentiments for the fandom in some cases. The villains frankly get too much attention, with one crazy man's ideology pulling all the weight of their missguided motive. Or everything being a direct result of one delusional man's puppeteering. Not to mention the overall demonization of mental illness and inherently flawed take of forgiving your abusers.
Midoriya and All Might is a toxic relationship. Sorry about the whiplash, allow me to explain. From the start we get to see Midoriya as a victim of Bakugo's almost constant abuse, but also his love of All Might. The idyllic and 'perfect' hero he aspires to be and is convenient to. Izuku Midoriya is All Might's convenient child because Midoriya is too blinded by his idol worship to see that All Might is using him to continue his battles, slowly grooming Midoriya into the next him. All Might is the last oasis in the desert of his life and Midoriya has none of the tools necessary to leave, All Might wont let him leave. And he goes unchallenged by the story for lifting up Midoriya's suicidal tendencies by preying on his need for validation through action. All Might is using Midoriya to desperately cling to his golden years and that is actively detrimental to Midoriya's growth as a character.
If I may compare Izuku to another similar character, and I shall. Mahiru Shirota is one of the protagonists of Servamp, a character driven manga about servant vampires or Servamps and their masters or Eves. Mahiru is the eve of sloth, his Servamp, Kuro or Sleepy Ash. Mahiru at the start of the story is almost identical to Midoriya through out mha, Mahiru is a convenient child for everyone in the story. He doesn't voice his objection or opinions beyond what you would expect from a kid like him. He aims to please and is almost suicidal in his pursuit of validation. But were Midoriya stagnates, Mahiru blooms, he grows to be more selfish and loving thanks to the logical end point of that stagnant arc, Kuro. Kuro was killed by sloth, his willingness to take the blame for a crime he didn't commit for the sake of his village. His selflessness and the inherent selfish need of external validation was no different than suicide. But were Kuro and Mahiru grow, Midoriya just doesn't, he rots on the vine and fails to become anything. His lack of growth makes him come off as winey and pathetic or just boring because he doesn't change for the better. His stint of vigilantism is just every adult in his life telling him that sacrificing himself is how he will atone for his inherited burden. For the sin of All Might's sloth for what Yagi and the other holders allowed to fester in the dark.
Bakugo Katsuki is... a good premise with bad execution. Bakugo's entire arc is learning to not be a fucking asshole, simple in premise and absolute horse shit in execution. From the word go, Bakugo is shown to be an abuser. Midoriya's abuser to be precise. Going so far as to actively tell Midoriya to kill himself. Now, Bakugo's abuse is born from a place of projection, Bakugo is a narcissist, not in the traditional sense, but more in a way that makes him unable to empathize with positive emotion in relation to himself and others. He is the center of the world, but at the same time he thinks of himself as worthless without his strength, unable to exist with the knowledge that he isn't the best of the best. Bakugo's arc ends far too late. Bakugo's arc should had started after the sports festival at his interaction with Best Jeanist leading to an apology tour and ended during the culture festival, his payoff during the fight against AFO Shigaraki and the vigilante Deku arc. Bonus points if Midoriya doesn't forgive him at first, leading to Bakugo working to regain that trust in more tangible ways. Have Bakugo seek towards empathy.
Ochako Uraraka isn't a character, not a well made one at least. To be fair this is something most of the cast suffers from. If it isn't the main protagonists or antagonists, the writer doesn't care. Uraraka is just the love interest without any depth of character beyond that. People like to pretend there is more going on, but I just don't see it. All of her 'growth' is motivated by her obsessive and honestly one sided love for Midoriya, a love that is only returned when Midoriya and she are looking for something to fill the void. It's toxic and terribly familiar to his and All Might's relationship. Midoriya is constantly put into the role of savior to all of these characters that don't in turn assist in his growth.
Speaking of Midoriya's role of savior, we have finally arrived at the L.O.V. The League of Villains is a good premise for an exploration of the inner politics of a world where 20% of the world lacks a unique superpower (that's still a lot BTW). Or to dive into the segregation of those with detrimental, uncontrollable, or 'villainous' quirks. The bigotry towards mutagenic quirks. Or an actual exploration of the inherent flaws of a society that has put a price tag on altruism, something more than senseless slaughter spearheaded by manchilds and mass murderers. The L.O.V deserved to be something more than the flawed argument of some fanatical lack of worthiness and some vague notion that rebellion against a already broken system is a problem. It's stupid, The League of Villains had potential to be actually interesting, but it was made into anarchy for the sake of it never even attempting to offer a solution to a system broken for those already in power.
Yet somehow we have missed the biggest point of what a hero is. A hero is a person who does what they can to save people who are hurt, broken, or lost. Even when they are the 'villains' or more plainly the mentally ill and those rejected by society. Somehow we have forgotten or ignored all of the Wake the Deads, the For the Man Who Has Everythings, the Flash And Substances, and the Epilogues. All the stories that told us that sometimes the best thing to do is be there for people. Being a hero isn't about fighting. It's just about being there. For the people, all of the people. But also understanding that some people can't be helped. People like Baby Doll and Shigaraki, Dabi and All For One, people too far gone or too hurt to help. Toga and Twice just needed help they weren't given. It is what was born of the legacy of All Might, peace and complacency, a smile hiding everyone else's tears. Every single crime committed by Shigaraki and the L.O.V is the direct fault of All Might. Because he refused to see the people he was fighting as what they were. Evil is often relative because to an ant a boot is evil. Rarely in the world does true evil exist and often it is taught or held in those who believe themselves without betters or equals.
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thriftedtchotchkes · 9 months ago
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piece of me
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pairing: younger!mike schmidt & baby!abby schmidt
summary: at 22 years old, mike is given custody of his infant sister after the loss of their parents. though he might not ever truly feel worthy of her, there's one thing he'll always be certain of—they belong together.
warnings: pre-fnaf movie au, inspired by the official movie novel, loss of parents, mentions of depression and anxiety, childhood trauma
word count: <1k
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Mike never asked for this.
As his tiny sister reaches for him from her playpen, his first instinct is to wait for their mom to pick her up and give her the attention she needs. But their mom isn't here anymore. Neither is their dad.
It's just Mike and Abby now, and he has no idea what to do in a situation like this. The longer she makes grabby hands in his direction, the more upset she gets, but he feels like he can't move. He's frozen, riddled with guilt because he already knows he can't help her.
Mike isn't equipped for this. He's not ready for this.
Kids were never on the agenda, if there was ever an agenda to begin with. The horrible truth is that he can't be trusted with that kind of responsibility. He already proved that a long time ago. With Garret.
The thought alone is so painful, he pushes it to the back of his mind to preserve his own sanity. Right now, it's just another reminder of how much of a fuck-up he is. A failure of a big brother, destined to destroy yet another little life. And this time has the potential to be so much worse.
Abby's barely 11 months old, which means he actually has to raise her. Between long shifts at a dead-end job, he'll have to teach her how to walk and talk and read. Buy her diapers, her toys and clothes, her formula. She's not even old enough for solid food, for fuck's sake.
She needs her mom. Instead, she's stuck with him—her shitty older brother who's still glued to the couch, incompetent as ever. She's not crying at least, so it's not an emergency—yet. But her little button nose is starting to scrunch up, and that's never a good sign.
Another moment passes as they continue to watch each other, stuck at an impasse only Mike has the power to end, if only he could just fucking move. But before he can convince his limbs to cooperate, Abby's hands drop to the wooden slats of her pen like she's finally given up. Her bottom lip wobbles dangerously, and his chest seizes in panic.
Okay, now it's an emergency. Now, he has to do something. Tears well up in her eyes, and she hiccups around what he assumes is the first of many sobs to come. What is he supposed to do? How does he stop this? When no solution comes, he feels his palpitating heart break—for both of them.
Because Mike is lying to himself.
Deep down, he knows what she wants, but he's too scared of the consequences of giving in. Just pick her up. Just hold her. But he can't. He doesn't want her to get attached. It'll only make it that much harder when he inevitably lets her down and they take her away from him. Maybe they should. What kind of monster refuses to comfort a crying child?
From the outside looking in, he's sure his actions—or lack thereof—seem cruel. They'd never know his throat is starting to constrict or that his head is filled with so much white noise, it's impeding his capacity for logical thought, or any thought at all. He wishes he was a more capable man. A better man. But he's broken. From the outside or not, anyone can see that.
Except for Abby. What must she see when she looks at him? Babies, especially ones as perceptive as her, are supposed to be able to sense tumultuous emotions, so why doesn't that explain the way she's looking at him right now? Like he's familiar, like she knows he's family. Like he's her world.
Their eyes lock, and suddenly it's like he's looking in a mirror. The same brown irises and dark, curly hair. Their father's nose and their mother's smile. If he wanted to, he could see that smile again. It's been a long time since it graced his own face, but if he just picked her up. If he just held her.
An unexpected wave of clarity washes over him. This responsibility wasn't forced on him. He chose this, to care for her and provide her with a happier life than she would've had with their cold, money-hungry aunt.
He chose to raise her because regardless of how ill-equipped he is to be a parent, she deserves to be loved, and he will always be able to give her that. And when she reaches out her tiny hand again with hope in her tear-filled, brown eyes, he realizes she's choosing him, too.
Mike never asked for this. But as he lifts Abby into his arms and cradles her against his chest, he knows in his heart that this is where she's meant to be.
thanks for reading!
divider by @saradika-graphics
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sleepy-spacetronaut · 1 month ago
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Gravity Falls fanfic plot idea
After a long moment of debating I decided to write down something I could incorporate my Human!Bill design into. (Why do all my writing ideas come to me at the worst possible times?!)
Some plot related specificities
Bill has a human form he maintains up until he managed to restore his magic back to 50% of its initial quantity.
Stanley would have some amnesiac episodes and holes in his memory.
Subsequently, Bill would offer to help restore some of them since he saw most of his memories back when he tried to possess him in Season 1.
Mabel and Dipper would turn 16 during the summer (story happens 2 years post weirdmaggedon)
One-sided BillFord (romantically) most likely, it could become queerplatonic with mutual bickering.
High chances of the story being anachronistic for the sole purpose of using some Gen Z slang and songs from the 2010s.
We will try to stick as close to the canon as possible, until we jump into complete and utter weirdness powered by imagination.
The plot itself
Main idea is that the initial “forced therapy for millions of years” solution failed miserably. Knowing that Bill is chaos incarnate, he would be driving the theraprism staff mad for the sake of getting a rise out of people. He’d make arts and crafts with his meds, bullsh*t his way through therapy sessions ,and draw cringe stuff about him and Ford dominating the multiverse together, whenever he’s not drawing red, blue and yellow triangles all over his room/cell.
The story would most likely begin with Bill getting thrown back to earth for being an annoying little equilateral freak.
The logic behind this is that if therapy couldn’t cure him, and sending him to Hell would be the same as sentencing an unworthy man to ostracism in ancient Athens, then shipping him off to earth (buttnaked and with no powers) and letting him fend for his life as a lowly human is their best option at getting him to ‘learn his lesson’.
I love the Handyman Bill AU (credit to @/LosanPostle & @/waty_mot on Twitter*), so Bill will be taken in by Soos and Melody to work in the mystery Shack, however at first Bill will sneak in pretending to be an overly curious tourist and try to find a way to Ford’s laboratory. Only after getting discovered , the Axolotl would materialize in their realm to explain the reason why the dream demon was back, and ask Soos and Melody if they were okay to give Bill a place to stay for the time of his ‘redemption arc’.
With some compromises they accept, Bill must to wear an ankle monitor at all times and the Axolotl grants its protection to all the people who live in the town in case Bill tries anything silly! (e.g. Weirdmaggedon 2 since one near end-of-the-world experience clearly wasn’t enough for him)
At first he’d be casually helping out around when asked before it became his unofficial job, but the trouble settle in when the Stan twins return from their trip. They arrive at the shack two weeks before Mabel and Dipper returned for their summer vacation to visit their grunkles.
Once the younger Pines are in town, Bill will be attempting to gain their trust—this part is both difficult and incredibly delicate.
After the way he had actively tried to murder , had tortured (physically and psychologically), impersonated and lied to the Pines (and everyone else in Gravity Falls for that matter), people would first try to avoid even being in the same room as him. Eventually, he got to earn their trust by keeping to his end of he bargain each time he made promises and by actually doing favours for them.
Besides cleaning the shack and running many errands at a time, Bill would also get dragged into some perilous adventures with and without his consent, and will eventually develop a fondness for the people he’ve sworn to hate.
Mabel would probably become his favourite, he’d see her as a younger sister or perhaps as a daughter, although he wouldn’t qualify as a good caretaker. With Dipper, Bill would often get into disagreements, but their love for science, strategy games and music brought them together; they’d often sing some BABBA songs and be dorky and unserious.
Regarding his love life, it was a major flop: despite his and Mabel’s efforts, he couldn’t get back with Sixer. The cut in their withered relationship was too deep to heal with time, and romantic fantasies were quickly dumped in the trash along with crumpled love notes. Although, despite not being able to see him as a romantic partner, Ford accepted the possibility of a renewal of their friendship. Bill even got to share a moment with Ford on the roof one night and rest his head on Ford’s shoulder as they gazed at the stars. Everything seems to be going great.
For once in his existence, Bill had almost everything he’d ever wanted, in a way. A place he could call home, he had friends—and family, to an extent… However, he wasn’t satsfied with what he had, and would still snoop around Ford’s stuff to see if he can make his powers return (which they do indeed, slowly by surely), yet more passively.
At one point, at the end of July, he got caught by Stanford looking through some old books and writing down magic circles. A heated argument broke out, in which both of them got injured, and it cumulated too Ford threatening to erase Bill a second time via the memory gun he kept from McGucket. In the end, Ford states that Bill will never be a part of the Pines family, that his lying was proof of the impossibility of his redemption, and that the next time he wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of him.
Upset beyond measure, Bill packs his stuff and choses to leave the town without a word of goodbye. At the edge of the town, he found his way blocked by the natural weirdness containment barrier, since his magic would almost be the same as half of what he had prior to his death and resurrection in the Theraprism. Even more enraged, Bill tried to break the barrier, transforming into something close to his feral form when he was a triangle—except in human form he’d look something like a Titan. Mabel and Dipper also had ran off in search for Bill because they got worried, and when they tried to stop him, they got captured. Bill was almost about to crush them in his hands if it weren’t for Melody, Soos, Stan and Ford’s intervention.
He then shrunk back to regular human proportions and released the twins, who got back to their grunkles. Feeling as if he had messed it up yet again, and not wanting to face the consequences to his actions (both due to him being still bitter with the way Ford treated him and being scared because he overstepped the agreement Soos had with the Axolotl and did not want to be returned to the Theraprism) Bill chose to run. He took off into the woods before anyone could stop him. Would he survive the woods and it’s inhabitants?
Would he get back to the shack?
Would he travel to another dimension and attempt to ‘fix’ everything, or will his existence be doomed to a catastrophic ending?
Only time will tell.
Now a little poll time, should I bring this to life or shall it forever be a theoretical thing, too dangerous (or boring?) to be applied in practice?
*note regarding the AU: there’s an account here where the creators of the Handyman Bill AU post their comics, they can be found under the tag or simply by searching the name of the AU in the search bar.
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