#but for the past couple of years - we counted down w a song and did tarot card predictions and skyped/called until midnight then 1am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mygloviesme · 1 year

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cool about it. || myg

no. 6: we don’t have to talk about it

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 3.0k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn, lots of pining, slight fluff

chapter warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), mentions of mental health, mentions of grooming (not w/myg)

inspo song: anything by adrianne lenker.

"i dont wanna be the owner of your fantasy, i just wanna be a part of your family"

FEBRUARY 15TH, 2012, 11:51PM

Once the games and conversations have settled, I sit in Yoongi’s bed once again, scrolling on my phone as the rest of them do. It was an eventful night with lots of screaming and jokes and fun. Something I’ve forgotten about these past ten months. I feel like I’ve been wrapped in a heated, weighted blanket and put to bed. That’s how this night has made me feel. I wonder if they know how much this has meant to me, I think to myself.

If they did, would it scare them?

I use that thought to my advantage and choose to not express those feelings, not for a while at least. They can’t know how lonely I've been these past couple years. How drained, isolated, and unhappy I’ve been. I want to enjoy this non-complicated bliss for a while longer. They don’t have to know just yet.

I see a notification pop up on the top of my screen, causing me to freeze. I click to see the full message, It’s from Bang-PD.

Bang: Hello Kanako, sorry to bother you so late at night. I’ve been informed by a colleague who knows someone that works at K-Station, that the story of you and Haneul will drop tomorrow. I’m unsure of how the story got out to begin with, but that will be discussed later. I know this is a big worry for you as much as it is for everyone here at BigHit, but I negotiated with him as much as I could. Unfortunately, all I was able to do was convince him not to release Haneul’s name, though he’s still releasing other information about him that still connects him to BigHit. I’m sorry for this, Kanako. The least I can do is cancel any sort of promotion that’s been previously booked for you this year. Please let me know however I, or any of the staff here, can further support you during this troubling time. There’ll be a meeting to cover more at 8AM tomorrow.

My hands shake as I grasp my phone tightly, rereading the text over and over again. Over and over and over again. This can’t be real, right? How could this situation get any worse? Why does this always happen? What’s so wrong with me that I’m always hurting?

I click the call button and PD-nim answers almost immediately.

“Yes, Kanako.” He says, knowing what I’ve called about.

“One moment,” I mutter, rushing over Yoongi’s laying body and to the balcony door. It doesn’t occur to me at the moment how frantic I must seem to the boys. But I don't care. All I’m thinking about is what’s going to happen. To me, to the company, to the boy’s success. If they don’t succeed, it’s my fault isn’t it? This scandal is going to burn this company down to its core. It’s my fault, it’s my fault, it's my fault.

I step onto the balcony, feeling the fresh hair hit my face and I close the door behind me. I bring the phone back up to my face and start to cry, “T-This is all my fault, isn’t it? I’m going to ruin the company’s name?” I choke.

“Kanako please calm down-”

“I CAN’T calm down! It’s my fault, it’s all my fault…” My cries turn into sobs.

“We’re going to handle it, I promise you. We won’t go down without a fight.”

I clutch my hair with one hand, shutting my eyes tightly. “What about the boys? The group? Will they still debut?” I whisper.

His answer is delayed, and I can feel the hesitation that stalls his voice. Stop feeling. Stop feeling.

“W-We will cover that tomorrow, they’ll be attending the meeting as well.”

I shake my head uncontrollably, “No, Bang. They have to debut. You have to promise me that will still happen. I don’t care, let me go, I-I’ll give up my career. I’ll stop performing, just promise me.”

I can hear him sigh through the phone, “It won’t have to come to that, Kanako. There is just some things we need to discuss. Tomorrow. Everything will be handled. Our priority is you at this moment, okay?” He aims to comfort me, but that doesn’t comfort me whatsoever.

I don’t want to be the main priority, I feel like nothing compared to those boys. They have so much hope, so many dreams, and I’m fading away. I’m withering into the background and I’ve accepted it. I don’t matter.

I swallow the growing lump in my throat with a wince.

“O-Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Kanako.”

The phone call ends and I place my phone in my sweatpants, Jungkook's sweatpants.

I walk over to the balcony railing, placing my hands along it softly. I sniffle my tears away and stare up to the night sky. It’s so quiet. I wonder, will the streets be rioting tomorrow? Will there be people at my doorstep, telling me I’m a horrible person? Will there be anyone left after everything’s been taken from me? It seems the universe isn't satisfied with my misery, not just yet.

I hear the door crack open behind me, looking to see who it is. I see all seven boys piling onto the balcony, knowing they won’t fit. So they all just stand amid themselves, some with hands in their pockets, some looking at me directly. Yoongi stands behind them, almost hiding.

“Hi guys.” I laugh through my tears painfully. Jungkook, the lanky sixteen year old, snakes his way in my direction. He stands next to me, placing his arm around me. It catches me off guard but I don’t reject it. Just this once, I’ll soothe into someone’s consolation. Just this once.

“You heard that, huh?” I say, knowing this situation brings déjà vu for the both of us. He’s always here, isn’t he? Coming to my rescue. He shouldn’t have to be. He’s so young, just like I was.

“We, uh, all did.” He speaks with a gentle grip on my shoulder. Although being younger than me, he’s still much taller than me. But this time it doesn’t scare me that I have to look up to him, to someone. There’s a glimmer in his doe-eyes that makes me smile.

I peak behind to the boys who stand there, all looking at the night sky with us.

Yoongi steps forward through what seems to be a crowd, standing on the other side of me.

“We’re here for you.” Is all he says, locking his eyes into mine. The care that rests in his demeanor is enough for my heart to glow shiny, bright red. But in this moment all I want is to be held, consoled. So I set those feelings aside and rest my head on Yoongi’s shoulder. Like he’s an old friend, someone who’s done this with me many times before. That’s how it feels anyway.

I feel the rest of the boys surround us closer, and we extend to a group hug. It’s vulnerable, unexpected, but wanted. I feel wanted. Not in a lustful, wrong way. But in a grounding way.

Is this how it feels to be loved truly, hopefully, madly, properly?

FEBRUARY 16TH, 2012, 8:00PM

I sit in the same conference room, but this time with the boys. Bang has no idea we had all just come from the same room, which I know is another stupid decision I made. But this one isn’t something I’d like to feel bad about, not yet.

“First I’d like to say, this meeting will be met with zero judgment. We’re treading on very thin ice and I’d like this meeting to be beneficial. Is that understood?” PD-nim says, and we all agree unanimously.

“Great, moving on. Kanako, how do you feel about canceling the rest of your previously booked events? This means,” He shuffles through his stack of stapled paper, “-Interviews, promotions, performances, and award shows.” He clears his throat and focuses on me.

I lick my lips slowly, thinking of his question. I knew he asked that last night, but I was unsure even then. This means losing money. Lots and lots of money, from both ends.

“What will it mean for my career?” I question honestly.

“We still have an ongoing contract for you that we intend on fulfilling. It’ll be up to you if you’d like to renew it, as it ends on November 18th later this year. We are still wanting you to be an idol under this company, though. Your renewal will be met with zero hesitation from us, if you do decide to do so.” He says.

I nod, “I’ll take a break, then.”

He gives a half smile and writes something down, before looking at the group of boys.

“There will be a stallment to your debut, as me and the team have discussed. The set date was,” He looks down to his papers again, “April 12th, 2013. Now it will be June 12th, 2013. Just to get everything back in order so we’re well organized for that time.” He concludes.

I sink into my chair just a little and glance at the boys who nod, unexpressive.

“How does that make you all feel?” I hear myself mutter. Didn’t know I’d be speaking like this.

Namjoon sits up from his chair, setting his arms on the table, “We’re ready whenever the company is. We, uhm, are in full support of Kanako.” He expresses, which meets agreements from the other members. PD-nim’s mouth parts slightly, nodding slowly.

“That’s…good to know. Anyway,” He slides us all a piece of paper, “This is an NDA. All of the staff have signed it and we need you all to sign as well. We need utter privacy at this time, nothing that you hear or know in this building leaves it, is that understood?” Before Bang finishes speaking, Yoongi has already reached for a pen and gives a hurried signature.

He lays back in his seat and his expression still hasn’t moved. The rest follow, the sound of signatures after the other. I grip the pen and give mine as well, with a little hesitation. Maybe it’s the embarrassment of having dragged everyone in this mess with me.

“Before we wrap up this meeting, there are some notable mentions. The trainees we had here have been moved to various entertainments, just as an added precaution. We as a team expect there will be press covering all grounds of this building and there isn’t any need to have more information leak. As for questions you may get asked, we have asked our publicists to ensure that all will be avoided in future interviews. If there happens to be a time when you do get asked,” He looks over to the boys, “The answer is to not answer. We will handle it.” He purses his lips to create something of a smile.

He gets up to collect our papers, stuffing them in his folder and placing it on top of his binder. He stays standing, “Since we’ve moved the trainees, there are more dorms available. You boys will be moved to the same unit Kanako resides in. The rooms are more spacious and we’ve decided to split it up in two, so who is staying in who’s dorm is up to you seven. As for you all in total,”

His gaze travels to mine, “I urge you all to stick together during this time, including Kanako. It might be helpful for you to have peers to talk to. There may be other meetings as the situation develops, but for right now I encourage everyone to rest.” Ah, the calm before the storm.

He gives one last bow before leaving the conference room. Once the door has closed and the dust settles, I hear a small voice.

“Does this mean I can move in with Kanako?” Jungkook whispers.

FEBRUARY 16TH, 2012, 12:00PM

I hear loud footsteps and the voices of the same boys I was with just outside my dorm. This has been happening for two hours now, and I assumed they were moving into their new dorms. I took these few hours to ease my mind, turning off my phone semi-permanently. I thought it was best I avoid any news outlets or messages from people I went to school with. I’m sure my phone is about to implode with how many texts and missed calls I’m getting.

Besides, there’s no family members that I need to contact. A painful reminder as I stuff my phone in my junk drawer. I take a deep breath before stepping outside my room, seeing a box toppled over with clothes and various objects pooling the floor. Taehyung and Jimin are bickering in the other dorm, and Jungkook runs outside to see me when he hears my door open.

“Kanako! Help us!” He begs, and I tilt my head in confusion. He grabs my wrist to lead me inside the dorm, but when I feel his grip I back away aggressively, jerking my hand from his. The notion was too familiar, my spine being sent chills when I remembered his name. Haneul. I know Jungkook didn’t mean any harm, but when I saw, felt, his long fingers on my wrist I went into fight or flight.

“D-Don’t do that.” I say assertively, rubbing my wrist with my other hand. His expression falls, and I sense he’s at a loss for words.

The edges of his mouth turn into a gentle smile, “Of course, I’m sorry. Do you-would you like to come in and help us move in?” He asks, gesturing to me to come in. He’s not upset with me?

I accept his request and caress his arm in reassurance as I step inside. The place is mostly empty, with boxes and tubs on top of each other. Yoongi is on his back, underneath the bunk bed. Jungkook follows and stands next to me, sighing, “He thinks the creaking noise it’s making means it’s broken. He’s been at this for thirty minutes.”

I laugh and walk over to Yoongi, leaning down so I’m on my hands and knees. I lean my head down to meet with him, looking at him with curiosity. “You know these beds are very, very old. Actually, the one in my dorm is 10 years old, I’ve been told. And it has not collapsed once.” I say. He plops his head down on the carpet, “That’s not a problem when your bed isn’t being slept on by two people.” His voice is slightly muffled.

I hum, “That’s true. But listen,” I scooch under the small space so we’re lying side by side. The space between us is minimal to none, and if we turn our faces we’d only be inches away from each other. I realize this closeness and in turn, my cheeks flush. “Nothing is going to happen.” I assure him.

He licks his lips and closes his eyes, “It’s better hearing it from your mouth instead of Jungkook’s.” He says, which makes my palms embarrassingly clammy. It also makes me feel like I need to go to the bathroom, badly. But you did not hear that from me. My eyes are hesitant to look at him, but with a leap of faith, I do so anyway. And it feels freeing. I feel like this is how these things are supposed to go. Natural, awkward.

These feelings are okay to have. As long as you don’t go any further.

But I think back to last night, when he let me rest my head on his shoulder for what felt like hours. When he saw me after my horrible dinner, mascara down my face and snot dribbling above my upper lip. He’s already seen me. He knows me, he knows what I look like when I’m broken down, vulnerable. Then why is it that I still need a wall between us? Why is it that I feel like I’ve failed when he looks at me the way he’s looking at me right now?

His almond eyes are almost blurred from the darkness of being underneath this bed, but I can still see him, and he sees me. X-ray vision. He looks down to my lips in a quick motion, and I feel my breath hitch. But I’m leaning over, and so is he. We’re so close to each other, I can feel his breath on my face. It has a hint of mint and something else I assume to be his breakfast.

And I want to be his next meal, in the most wholesome sense of the phrase.

“Kanako..”

“I love when you say my name.” I confess in the form of a whisper.

His lips brush mine, before I’m grabbed and dragged from my ankles. I bonk my head on the edge of the bed and look at Taehyung who’s looking at me like a lost puppy. I rub my forehead and close my eyes, unable to process what just happened this past minute.

“What the fuck..” I groan. My head throbbing.

Yoongi scooches from under the bed so he’s sitting up next to me, staring at Taehyung with a look I can’t read but it seems like Taehyung can. He stutters, “I-uh, we just…sorry about that, Kanako.” Tae hangs his head low. I try to shake my head but I’m too busy soothing the pain that’s building up in my frontal lobe, surely damaging it. “Uh, it's fine. What is it?”

Taehyung pouts, “Is it true Jungkook is staying with you? And if so, can we all take turns spending the night because I think it’s very unfair that he gets to-”

I interrupt him, “No, he’s not staying with me.” I sigh, “Jungkook!” I call out his name in annoyance. I hear small thuds that turn into louder ones, Jungkook peering from the dorm door. His head peaks in slightly, afraid of being scolded. “I’m sorry but you can’t stay in my dorm, there’s just not enough room! It’s a single.” I say while placing my hand over my heart playfully, emphasizing my pity.

He pouts just like Taehyung, “But maybe you could sleep over here sometimes? Now there’s no excuse for you not to, it’s not like you’re doing anyth-”

“Jungkook.” Yoongi snaps.

The young boy nods in apology, “Just a couple nights a week?”

I roll my eyes, “A couple nights a week, sure.”

click here to read more of this story!

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openingnightposts · 8 months

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#Cabaret #CafeCarlyle #ChitaRivera #NewYorkNightLife #TulisMcCall #UpperEastSide

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euclydya · 2 years

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i'm glad that you liked them, i'm chronically into musical theatre by nature of the performing arts teacher being The Safe Space™ for freaks back home (we grew up in a very small town, like a "makes hawkins look big and bustling" type of place).

y'all's recommendations are great as always! i've heard aesop rock's older stuff but i hadn't heard anything from malibu ken until your rec. will wood is also an all-time favorite artist, dr west especially is obsessed with him.

tonight's recommendations: pressure bomb 3 by jhariah for billy, not invited by holychild for the steves, malmo by mook for your jonathan, be gay do drugs hail satan by super cassette for eddie, and psychotherapy by melanie for will. i am also suggesting graveyard picnic by aurelio voltaire for poe; dr. crane recommends down to the river by brown bird for her.

Goddamn that sounds like hell, growing up in a teeny lil town! Very very glad y'all had someone to consider safe though !!

Your recs are very spot on with what we enjoy !! :} All are added to our playlists and then some LMAO we love them all thank you thank you !! 🖤 /platonic -Poe

Our recs!:

Dear Mother - Cake Bake Betty (🧋 Steve's rec)

I suppose the easiest way to differentiate these two would be emojis, huh? Elder Steve's emoji is 🧋, while younger Steve has yet to choose one. Anyways! Everyone's asleep aside from Kaz and I so we will be relaying songs from them to you

🧋Steve doesn't have much to say for this one, as it's difficult for him to put into words what this song means to him. He says it's something to do with source, though? Which is explanation enough, in his mind-words! -Poe

Dragula - Rob Zombie (Billy's rec!)

(This could also count as Max's rec too, because she also adores this song, lmao)

A perfect song for the Halloween season we think !! Very very fun and very very catchy, if Billy isn't listening to Angry Songs then she's listening to stuff like this :} -Poe

Runs In The Family - Amanda Palmer (Jonathan's rec!)

Jonathan says, and I quote, "*points at the lyrics and nods*" and..... Oh yes that's very. Self explanatory looking at the lyrics for this one I'd say! /lighthearted

he also says "not that I hate my family, I never did and never will, but sometimes Things Were Hell™" -Poe

Can't Go To Hell - Sin Shake Sin (Eddie's rec)

I do not know what Eddie's thoughts are on this song as all hex is giving me is ":)", "👍!", and "¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯" emojis.

I will say it is very fitting for hex though, lyrically and sound-wise, very loud and fast paced, just like hex is -Kaz

The Angel Of The Forever Sleep - Marcy Playground (my rec -Kaz)

I hope you don't mind me joining in, too? I've been... Up front ever since we woke up and have been. Keeping everybody else calm. Things are okay, just a tad stressed, but whatever. I've been playing this on repeat for the past few hours to help keep things calm, too. It's been working so far, luckily! -Kaz

Jimmy - Tool (my rec!! -Poe)

Hmm hmmm..... I suppose if our El had their own playlist this would definitely be on it! /tangent, unrelated, etc.

Tool's known for long songs™ and while this one's about 5 minutes it DOES feel longer because it's so slow going, but the wait is much worth it in my opinion! The ending verse is beautiful, very much so! -Poe

21st Century Schizoid Man - The Human Experimente (Will's rec)

Linked it cuz it's stupid hard to track down sometimes. Literally couldn't find the damn song for a good couple years until it popped back on YouTube recently so now we have it downloaded lmao

Lotta good covers of this song out there but I really like this one (I am not at all biased bc I like Tool no sirree /jokeeee). Maynard's done a hell of a lotta good covers tbh I love them all but rn I'm vibing the most w this song! -Will

#music recs anon #long post #thank you as always !! your recs helped make our day better Hsjakakskdjdnsjf today started off like hell mentally

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

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howard stern

I'M BACK BESTIES!!!!! i'm not totally back to my normal writing, but I finally got through a whole piece! anyways I really liked this and i hope you do too :)

warnings: howard stern being a bitch, talk of weight & body image

word count: 2.1k

"Hello Harry, how are you doing today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Harry answered with a smile. He was on the Howard Stern Show, his first interview since Stevie had been born. He hadn't really wanted to; Howard was kind of a prick. Everyone knew this, but Jeff was convinced this was the right move. He said it would be good for Harry to get back into the swing of things, and no one else was available on short notice. In the end, Harry only agreed because you had pushed him to, reminding him it wouldn't be a very long interview and then he wouldn't have to interact with the abrasive man again for a long time.

"That's good to hear," Howard said. "How have you been these past couple months? Have you been getting anything done?"

"Not much that's music related, honestly," Harry laughed. "I've been busy with family things."

"Yeah, you've kind of been hiding away from the world for a while here, what's that about?"

"Well, as I'm sure you already know, my wonderful wife had a baby recently, so I've been pretty busy... just navigating the world of fatherhood." A smile crept onto his face at the mention of Stevie.

"That's a lot, isn't it? Babies are awful at that age," Howard chuckled.

"Uh- I wouldn't say awful," Harry's smile dropped a little and he sighed internally. He already knew how the rest of this interview would go: thinly veiled insults, questions that were way too personal, and having to pretend he didn't want to get up and walk out of the room. But he knew that wouldn't be a very good look for him, so he gritted his teeth and tried to think of happy things. Specifically, the fact that he would get to go home to his wife and baby in less than two hours. "She's a very sweet baby, we're completely in love with her."

"Yeah, sometimes they're cute, but mostly they just cry and wake you up in the night, don't they?" Howard asked smugly, as if he knew Harry's baby better than Harry did.

"Well, of course she wakes up in the night sometimes. She's hungry, can't blame her for wanting food, can I?" Harry asked, trying to speak lightly and with a smile, but he could feel his patience slipping. He was ready to go home and he was not in the mood to pretend to be happy when this man was clearly insulting his child.

"Sure, I just wish babies could be a bit less annoying when they want something."

Harry nodded, plastering a smile that hopefully looked real on his face.

"So, besides the annoying baby, how's the family? Everybody healthy over there?"

Harry nodded. "Everybody's happy and healthy. A little sleep deprived, of course, but we're managing well, i think. And by we, I mean Y/N. She's truly... just amazing. I have no idea how she does it- she's the one keeping everything together. There's no way I could do any of this without her."

"Yeah, she seems pretty great! I remember though, at first we were all a little uncertain about her. She's not exactly like the other women you have a history with, is she?"

"She's-" Harry started talking, but Howard cut him off.

"I just mean, we were used to seeing you with models and actresses and the like, so it was a bit of a shock to see you with one of us commoners, you know?"

Harry huffed a small laugh, still trying to sound polite. "When you love someone, that's all that matters."

"Right, of course, but don't you get bored sometimes? You stopped going out so much when you got with her, almost like she was keeping you captive or something," He laughed.

"Are you asking me if my wife forced me to stop hanging out with my friends?" Harry squinted at the man.

"No, of course not, but..." He leaned closer with a malicious gleam in his eye, like he was about to hear some big secret. "Did she?"

"No," Harry said firmly. "She did not."

"Okay, okay, if you say so," Howard put his hands up, but then he leaned in again and spoke in an exaggerated whisper. "Blink twice if you need help."

Harry played it off with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's good," Howard laughed loudly. "Anyways, let's move on. Since you two are supposedly so happy-" He paused again, as if he expected Harry to cut it and give some dramatic confession about how terrible his relationship was behind closed doors. Harry only raised his eyebrows, signaling him to continue talking. "Tell us about that. When did you two get married again?"

"Almost 2 years ago," Harry said with a smile. "Our anniversary is coming up, actually, it's in 3 weeks."

"Oh wow, you guys moved fast with the whole kid thing, huh?"

Harry nodded. "We both knew we wanted kids and were ready to have them, so... yeah."

"Yeah, no point wasting time, right? How was Y/N after having the baby- Stevie, right?"

"Yeah, her name is Stevie," Harry smiled. "She was good. Again, she's amazing for going through that. She's- i'm just so lucky to have her."

"Did she bounce back right away?"

"I'm sorry?" Harry's brow furrowed.

"You know, did she get her figure back fast? I know that's a big issue for some women," He laughed again.

"Are you-" All traces of Harry's smile were gone now.

"I just mean, I hope she's working to get rid of the baby weight," Howard said casually, as if his words weren't extremely rude. "Just to make sure she can fit into her old clothes!"

Harry cleared his throat. He knew he had to speak very carefully, since this was something you had been very self conscious about. "Well, the two of us are concerned with the new life she brought into the world, not some old clothes, but she looks as beautiful as ever. The amount of pressure women face to live up to certain standards is disgusting to me, and it's especially bad for new mothers. My wife just went through an incredible process, she grew an entire human being in 9 months, then went through labor and the delivery, and she's being told to worry about her figure? That's wrong."

"Right, right, of course," Howard smiled, but Harry could tell he was annoyed at how he couldn't be tricked into speaking badly about his wife.

"I'm really over the whole thing, honestly," Harry said. "And I'm not even the one going through it."

Howard laughed nervously, seeming to finally take the hint that Harry was uncomfortable and annoyed with the topic. "Let's talk about your latest movie, why don't we?"

Harry was closed off through the rest of the interview; anyone could see that. He laughed less, his arms stayed crossed, and his answers were short. He was professional, but it went no farther than that. There was no more playful joking or easy conversation, just Harry trying to get through the interview as fast as he could. When it finally came to a close after his final song, Harry couldn't pack up fast enough. He made sure to say a polite thanks and goodbye before he hurried out to his car.

He sighed deeply before picking up his phone to call you.

"Hi baby!" your happy voice came from the other end. That was good, he assumed that meant you hadn't listened to the interview yet.

"Hi love," he smiled, his mood already improving just from hearing your voice. "Did you listen to the interview?"

"I have been- I couldn't right at the beginning, Stevie was crying, but I caught the end. Why?"

"Why was she crying?" Harry ignored your question, instantly worrying about his baby.

"Sometimes babies cry for no reason, Harry. She's okay, I promise. Anyways, what's up with the interview?"

Harry sighed. "Just the normal for a Howard Stern interview- he asked some very personal and rude questions. Just prepare for that."

"What else is new?" You laughed. "Are you coming right home?"

"Yeah, unless you need anything?"

"Nope, I think I'm good. See you soon!"

"Love you, bye," Harry said, ending the call and starting the car to begin the drive home.

-----

"I'm home," Harry called, removing his coat as he walked in the door.

"We're in here," you responded, not moving from your spot on the couch where you were nursing Stevie.

Harry walked in, a small smile on his face as he looked at the two of you.

"Hi," He sighed, plopping down on the couch next to you.

"That bad, huh?" You asked, taking in his dejected tone.

He hummed in response, leaning his head on your shoulder. "Those interviews are... always something."

"Yeah, I only caught the end, but you sounded pretty upset. What did he say?"

"He just..." Harry shook his head. "I don't think you should listen to it."

You turned your head to look at him. "Why not?"

"He's just very rude and pushy, as always."

"Yeah, i figured, but I wanted to hear your songs," you argued with a small frown. "Did he say something really bad, or...?"

"He just makes some very impolite comments about you and our family."

"Oh," You nodded lightly. "I think I'll be okay, baby. I appreciate you trying to protect my feelings, but I'm used to it at this point, and I really couldn't care less about his opinion of me."

"Alright," he sighed. "If you're sure." He pulled out his phone, checking his email and going through some messages while you started the interview from the beginning. You could hear him grumbling under his breath and huffing every time Howard said something rude, but you ignored it, just laying a hand on his leg to calm him down.

By the time it was over, Harry was clearly not too happy. "I can't believe I went back on that show," he shook his head. "I'm never doing that again. I'm so sorry about what he said about you, I honestly should have just left-"

"It's okay," you cut him off with a smile. "Also, it was kind of hot to hear you get mad at him."

"Yeah?" He smiled back. "I thought I was very tame, actually. I wanted to say some other things, but I figured that wouldn't be a very good look for me."

"Right, but the way you attacked him but stayed professional... very hot," you laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," He smiled, turning his head to kiss your cheek in return. "Is she done? I really need to hold her after the day I've had," He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back.

"I'm sure," you laughed, handing Stevie over to him and pulling your shirt back into place. "She's all yours."

"Hi baby," he cooed, holding her close to his chest. "I missed you so much."

Stevie yawned in response, cuddling into him.

"Oh, you missed me too?" He grinned. "See that? She missed me."

"She did," You agreed. "She was looking around when she heard your voice on the interview, she wanted to know where you were."

"I'm sorry," he pouted down at her. "I'll never go away again, and I'll never let the bad man be mean to you again."

"I don't think she's too upset about it, Harry," you laughed. "She is only 3 months old. She didn't exactly understand anything that went on."

"Excuse me," he said, looking very offended. "She may only be 3 months old, but she's very smart."

"Right, she's a genius baby, how could I forget?"

"I don't know," Harry shook his head at Stevie. "How could she forget how smart you are, hmm?"

Stevie yawned again, stretching her arms above her head.

"She's ready to take a nap," you said.

"Can I just hold her? I know it's not a good habit, to let her be held to sleep, but I don't want to put her down yet," Harry said, looking up with such pleading eyes, you couldn't possibly say no. Not like you would have said no anyways, but he didn't need to know that.

"Of course you can," you stood up, kissing his forehead before you turned away. "I'm gonna do the dishes, then we can watch something if you want."

"No, let me do those," he immediately protested.

"Harry, it's okay, I haven't done anything around the house since she was born-"

"And I'm not about to let you start now," he cut you off. "Come back here, please? Let's start that new show we were looking at the other night."

"Fine, but later I'm going to help you with the dishes."

"Fine," he smiled, agreeing with your compromise, even though you both knew he would argue later. "Now come back here."

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harrystylesxyou #harry styles x you fanfiction #harrystylesxreader #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles/you fanfiction #dad!harry #stevie #stevie fics

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pennylanewrites · 3 years

Note

Hey. I have a request for a mafia!yandere Erwin who becomes obsessed with the reader. He kills/hurts men who flirt with reader. But the twist is that the reader is yandere for Erwin is they become a crazy power couple. Is that too weird? 😅

omg no it’s not weird at all! one direction mafia wattpad has raised me for this exact moment in time and space. I hope I did your request justice though bc I have NOT written anything like this ever teehee<3

heavily inspired by Lana Del Rey’s song “You can be the boss”

＊You can be the boss, daddy＊

dark content ahead! Minors DNI or levi will make you scrub all the windows clean

word count: 2k

pairings: Erwin Smith x female reader

CW: yandere behavior, use of alcohol, drugs, mentions of murder, gunplay, spitting, choking, cum eating, non-con filming, briefly tied up and drugged Erwin lolsies

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

It happened. Yes, you know, the thing that happens in every cliche. The mafia boss had his eye on you since the moment he first saw you on a college campus, working your ass off as a part-time barista. You didn’t even question why your rent lowered by 200€, nor how you passed classes you forgot you even attended. I mean, who would question that? Maybe a god has a liking for you. Yes, that’s exactly what this is.

The only bad thing about being a god’s favorite was the horrible luck in dating you had. Every single one of your partners or past flirts has gone missing and the only link between them is you. You’ve lost count of how many times you ended up a suspect at the police station, only for your criminal record to vanish and the chief of police to beg for your forgiveness.

Four years after he first laid his eyes upon you, now 23 and unsuspecting, you accepted the “boss’s” invitation for you and your friends to have fun in the VIP room. So there you are now, snorting coke off your friend’s bare stomach and leaning back your delicate body to meet a muscular chest.

“You okay there, darling?” A low voice whispered in your ear, irony coating it perfectly. Your revealing dress was riding up your thighs, leaving enough space for the man to rest his big, soft hands. Before the lines of coke and alcohol you consumed, you thought it was scary how many guns were in the room, but then again, maybe all club owners are like this?

That’s where you’re wrong sweetie. Nobody in the world compares to this one.

“Why don’t we take this elsewhere? I have a penthouse right above this club.”

“I can’t leave my friends here...” You mumbled, yet still got up with the familiar yet so unfamiliar man.

“They’re in great hands.” He assured you, glancing over to Levi and Hange, those were apparently the names of the extremely handsome people fucking your best friends shamelessly in front of you and the boss.

You found yourself in a penthouse, memory hazy of how you got there, but you knew for sure that the pictures on the coffee table were of you.

“Is this-” you took one of them in your hands, but he shoved them away and caught both your wrists in one of his palms.

“Now now, little one. You know not to play with fire or you’ll get burned.” He leaned down, breath heavy with expensive whiskey and cigarette smoke.

“What’s your name?” You whispered, lips barely grazing his.

“Erwin Smith.” Before you could react, Erwin was kissing you like his life depended on it. He’s waited for this moment for four years and if you told him he’d be fucking you a few minutes later, he wouldn’t believe it. Your dizzy head barely had time to register the name you knew all too well. Erwin Smith; the feared and powerful boss of the city’s mafia. Everyone knew of his name, yet no one knew what he looked like. But you did. You wondered if he said that to everyone just for some sex, but no, you could tell you were different.

“W-wait–” you looked down from the pillow your head laid on.

“Shh. I won’t hurt you.” He assured you as a gun trailed from your throat down to your panties, wet with anticipation of taking Erwin Smith. He used the gun to push the hem of your lace underwear down, then removing it completely with his free hand. You squirmed under the cold touch of the gun on your clit and your breath suddenly hitched in your throat when it entered your slit. You threw your head back, all previous worries disappearing as the sounds of your wetness filled Erwin’s ears, urging him to do more.

He wanted to take his time with you so bad, but you made it so hard for him when you squirmed under the faintest touch, soft mewls rolling from your tongue.

“More-please...”

“More what? What do you need, sweetie?”

“Your cock. Please, daddy.” You whined, back arching off the silk sheets. The title went straight to his dick, already throbbing from the moment he watched you dance with Hange and let them sniff coke off your breasts.

“Tell me, ___. Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked, hands ripping your dress apart, not caring about your whine.

“No!” You didn’t feel an ounce of embarrassment at how eager you were to please him.

“Did they all happen to disappear?” He grinned, pants falling from his toned legs on the marble floor before he pulled you from your feet to the edge of the bed.

“Wait...wha-ah!” Your stomach dropped as you put the pieces of a very difficult puzzle together, but you didn’t have time to react as Erwin’s tip stretched you ever so slightly.

“So tight,” he growled, “I was right to make all of them go away. You wouldn’t have been so perfect for me otherwise.” His words would make you want to vomit in a different setting, but this time, they were sent straight to your burning core, the need of being filled with his cock unbearable. You wrapped your legs around his torso, pulling him closer to make him push deeper inside you with a moan coming from both sides. You could feel every inch of him filling you up, the veins of his cock throbbing between your walls, stretching you out with a pain so perfectly bad.

“Daddy, harder! Harder, please!” You begged, his excruciatingly slow thrusts making you tear up in frustration. He leaned down, taking one of your breasts in his mouth and sucking on the sensitive nipple, hands wrapped tight around your waist for some support as he obliged to your request. Your moans filled the bedroom, music to Erwin’s ears, giving him motivation to pound into you faster. As his tip finally hit your cervix, your back arched off the mattress, hands wrapping around him and fingernails leaving crescent marks on his tattooed back. Though he didn’t mind; he wanted as much as possible to remember you with and that included the cameras set up in the perfect hidden spots, angles of your face and the obscene scene between your legs for him to watch after he kicked you out.

“You wanna know what happened to those boyfriends, little one?”

“Y-yes, daddy.”

“They’re all dead.” He whispered, chuckling darkly as his hands wrapped around your throat, cutting off your airway briefly. You opened your mouth, moans getting choked as he reached down and spit on your tongue. His hands went for your breasts, allowing you to breathe as he slapped your nipples to get a perfect moan from you.

“You killed them?” You whispered, trying to find some sobriety inside you. Though, the sloppy thrusting of Erwin’s cock, his balls slapping against your thighs,wet from your spilled juices, made it hard for you to focus. Erwin reached to the bedside table, getting an open bottle of tequila and taking a sip before tipping it over slightly to watch it fall on your stomach and breasts before it finally went into your open mouth. You swallowed with a small cough, going crazy at the way he sucked all of the alcohol off your body, as if he was ready to devour you whole.

And like that wasn’t enough, he started rubbing your clit. So fast, fingers pushing in for you to squirm, moving fast to make you cum while his cock fucked your perfect little cunt.

“Fuck, I’m cumming! Fuck, fuck, daddy!” You felt the familiar knot in your lower stomach come undone and looked down to see yourself squirting against his dick and beautifully carved abs. Out of breath, you relaxed on the bed, yet not for long as Erwin still chased his high. Your legs closed only for him to push them open with a grunt and your moans turned into whines from the overstimulation.

“Please-too sensitive daddy.” You breathed out, but something cold on your tongue made you gulp.

“How about I kill you too darling?” He said sweetly, tone contradicting his awful words. You licked and sucked on the tip of the gun that entered your mouth, watching his finger on the trigger with fear. Too immersed in the sucking, you slowly realized a sudden wave of air hit your sore hole. You looked up to see Erwin rubbing his dick, head tilted back with moans, as he finally shot a huge load of his warm, white cum on your breasts and stomach. With a grin, he gripped your jaw to force your mouth open, gun tossed on the floor. Two of his fingers scooped up some of his cum, taking them in his mouth and sucking them. You thought he would swallow, but when he leaned down and his lips met yours, you felt the cum mixed with saliva fall on your tongue and down your throat.

“I think you know what happens if anyone finds out about anything that was said or done here.” He chuckled with furrowed brows shading his amber eyes perfectly as he cocked a gun against your temple.

“Yes daddy.”

Three months later and you haven’t heard from Erwin Smith at all. The worst part was the videos of him fucking other women just like he fucked you in your inbox every night. You were starting to get tired of it, and even more obsessed with the man that fucked you so perfectly you haven’t felt that good since. Of course, you couldn’t let him do this just because he was in the mafia or whatever he claimed. Your parents were rich enough for you to hire a private investigator who found out all of those women’s names and addresses without questioning a thing. Speaking of money, you also had the power to rent a small, secluded storage space, hire people to demolish it and make it seem dangerous and out of order.

You visited that place once a week, making sure all of them were proped up perfectly for him to see. Yes, you were sure he’d love the little exhibition you worked so hard to show him.

Your plan worked perfectly. A few ominous notes and threats were enough for Erwin Smith to show up in that storage space by himself, exactly a year after your night together.

“Hello, mr. Smith. Come on in!” You greeted him with a smile, showing him in like it was your home you invited him into. His face dropped as soon as he saw the first exhibit, a girl sitting on the table, obviously quite dead already.

“Remember her? And her? Oh, and how could you forget her, the one you fucked in the bathroom!” You twirled around your victims, watching Erwin’s reactions. At first his face dropped, but when it finally registered through his drunk in love brain, he took a step close to you.

“Excellent work, darling. I knew if I worked you up enough you’d end up a monster.” His hands cupped your small face, but the cloth in your own hand meeting his mouth made him drop on the floor.

Erwin woke up sore, head pounding and arms feeling like they were pulled on. Which they were, as he was tied up against a chair, you running your fingers through his hair lovingly.

“Never play these games on me again.” He threatened, though he wasn’t really threatening as his big, broad figure sat crouched on the chair.

“How about we play them together, daddy?”

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

452 notes · View notes

tyongxnct · 4 years

Text

𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 - 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛

pairing: Jaehyun x reader

special guests: Johnny, Doyoung and Jaemin.

Genre: angst, marriage!au, cheating!au

warnings: cheating, fainting, mentions of sex If you don’t feel comfortable reading about cheating, then feel free to skip this story. :)

word count: a little more than 12k

song rec: love me or leave me by little mix

note: I’m not a therapist or a doctor. The scenes in the hospital and at the couple therapy are just how I imagined it to be.

extra note: I love Jaehyun and this is PURE fiction.

A/N: thanks to my dear friend @kueey for proofreading this with me <3 I hope you guys like this story and please don’t get too mad at Jaehyun hihi ENJOY!!

ps: I AM SO EXCITED FOR NCT 2020 I really look forward to everything we’ll get and I’ll forever support OT23.. I hope that each member gets treated well and is happy and healthy. AND I can’t wait any longer for superm hehe

“I can’t believe you! Why? I don’t understand?! Why would you do something like that? Why would you try to destroy our marriage?!”, you were furious and heartbroken. After seven years of being together, you never thought that Jaehyun would cheat on you. You never thought that he’d moan someone else’s name while being with you.

You kissed him. “I missed this so much.”, it was hard for you two, both of you were working and you had a four year old daughter and a five year old son. There was never really time for things like sex. It’s been some time since you slept together, and you couldn’t wait anymore. You missed having Jaehyun close next to you, you missed feeling him inside of you and you missed his touch. “You feel so good, Areum.”, you pushed him away. “W-what?”, you asked, maybe you misheard him. “What do you mean?”, he tried to kiss your neck, but you pushed him again. “W-what did you just say? A-Areum?”, and that was the exact moment Jaehyun knew, that he fucked up. Bad. “N-No I-I didn’t...”, he stuttered. “Get off of me!”, you pushed him again and crawled against the bed rest. “Who is Areum?!” “No one, baby. I’m sorry.”, he tried to get closer again, but you stretched out your hand to stop him. “Don’t come closer! Stop lying to me! Tell me now Jaehyun or I will leave, and you’ll never get the chance to explain!” “Baby- I... It’s... She’s someone from work...” “And?”, you were getting angrier every second. “I-It’s I promise you I’ll never do it again and it’s been weeks since the last time I-”, he couldn’t even look at your face. “Since you what?”,

“Since I-I slept with her.”, his voice got quieter and quieter. You got up and put on your clothes as fast as you could. “Baby just listen to me. I swear I’m so sorry-”, Jaehyun tried to reach for your arms but you stepped back and looked at him with disgust in your eyes. “For how long?” “Baby-”, “No Jaehyun! Answer the question!”, you couldn’t even cry. “Three months I think...”, a tear fell down Jaehyun’s cheek.

Your man was sleeping with another woman for three months, if he was telling the truth of course.

“You had an affair for three months?”, you were heartbroken. You were fully dressed and opened your bedroom door to leave, but he stopped you, this fight needed to end in the bedroom, your little kids were asleep, and they shouldn’t witness what was happening right now. “No. Don’t go, baby. I’m sorry. I stopped seeing her, I love you.”

“You love me? Funny, last time I checked you said Areum. You said her name! I can’t even look at you! You disgust me so much! What kind of a husband are you huh?! What were you even thinking?!”, tears were finally falling down your cheeks, you couldn’t stop them from falling so you just let them.

“I said that I’m sorry! I stopped seeing her. I will never do it again, I love you!”, he screamed back at you.

“I can’t believe you! Why? I don’t understand?! Why would you do something like that? Why would you try to destroy our marriage?!”

You really wanted to know why Jaehyun would throw away a 7 year old relationship.

“Look, we didn’t have any second for us in the past, I don’t know, five months and I missed you so much but you were always working and you never had time for me! I felt... lonely or some shit, I don’t know and... and she was there for me in those three months...”, did he just say it was all your fault?

“So, you are telling me that this is my fault? Because I am working and raising two children. You think I was the one who never had time? When you fucked another woman, I was home alone with your kids! You lied to me and now you are fucking blaming me?!”, he couldn’t be serious. “I am the one suffering from all of this! I am suffering right now because of you and you are still blaming me?! I tried so hard to be a good wife, mother, friend and employee and I am still not enough?”, your voice was quiet. Jaehyun felt like he was never good enough for you, he was just ordinary while you were amazing at everything you did. Jaehyun felt like a piece of shit and he needed someone to tell him that he was also good enough, and instead of talking to his wife, he decided to talk to his co-worker and that led to more.

“What suffering?! I am still with you, I could have left you and stayed with her instead but I chose you!”, words were coming out of his mouth without him processing it, he said things he didn’t mean and he wanted to take them back, but he couldn’t.

You slapped him. You slapped him so hard that his brain started working again. He deserved it.

“You chose me? Nobody asked you for that. You are right, maybe you should have stayed with her.”, he looked at you for the first time now, his hand was on his cheek and his heart clenched.

“I- I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it.”, he cried as he tried to take his words back.

You couldn’t think straight, and you couldn’t stay with him, you needed to leave. Right now.

You opened the bedroom door and put on your shoes as fast as you could. “Don’t leave me, please. Baby don’t go. It’s late... let’s talk about it. Please don’t leave me.”, he was begging you. Without a second glance, you took the keys for your car and left the apartment you shared so many great memories with and now with the worst.

Jaehyun was on his knees crying his heart out. He needed you to come back to him, you needed to know that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean it.

“Dad?”, Jaemin held his little sister’s hand and watched his father. His little daughter looked confused and his son looked sad.

“My babies why are you up?”, he tried to cover his tears as he walked up to his kids. "You were loud, daddy. Are you crying, daddy?”, she asked her dad as she placed her little hand on his cheek. “Why are you awake, dad?”, his son asked.

“Daddy had a nightmare, but I feel better now. Thanks to you.”, he placed a kiss on his daughter’s forehead and on his son’s. “Tell mommy to give you a goodnight kiss, that helps every time.”, he tried so hard not to cry in front of his kids. “Okay, I’ll tell her, but you have to sleep now, it’s late.”

“Daddy can you sing for me? Mommy always sings me to sleep.”, how could he say no to his one and only daughter.

Jaehyun didn’t sleep for the whole night, he waited for you to come back, but you didn’t.

You were driving around Seoul. You didn’t know what to do. Go back home? You couldn’t let your kids notice what was happening between you and Jaehyun and Jaehyun... your heart was broken, and it needed time. You decided to call the only person who could help you right now. Johnny.

“Good morning, what can I do for you at this hour?”, Johnny, one of your oldest friends asked, still half asleep. It was 7 am on a Sunday, of course he was still asleep.

“Hey, Johnny. Sorry for waking you up-”, your voice trembled.

“Did you fucking cry?”, he always knew that something was wrong. “I-…Yes..., Johnny, Jaehyun had an affair.”

“I’m sorry what? What did you just say?”, he didn’t want to believe it. “He slept with his co-worker for three months. I f-found out last night and I didn’t know what to do… so I l-left.”, you started crying.

“I can’t believe this, where are you? I’m coming to you.”, Johnny didn’t want to leave you alone.

“No, I’m fine, well not fine but Jaehyun and the kids need you. I left last night just like that, and I want to go to my babies, but I-I Johnny I just can’t face him. It hurts so much.”, you tried to stop your tears from falling but you couldn’t.

“Okay, you don’t have to worry, I’ll go to them. But please tell me that you are safe and text me whenever you need me. Do you know where you want to stay already?”, you knew you could count on him. “I have a friend from work I could ask.”, Johnny was the brother you never had, and you were his sister he never had. You were friends since kindergarten, and he was actually the one who introduced you to Jaehyun in college.

“Alright, just let me know you’re safe.”

“Thank you, Johnny.”

“Always.”

Jaehyun was playing with Minah and Jaemin on the floor as he tried to distract his kids. “Daddy is mommy coming back today?”, Minah asked him.

He hoped.

“I don’t really know, baby. Don’t you enjoy playing with your daddy?”, he asked her. “Daddy is the best!”, she hugged him, and tears were forming in his eyes.

The doorbell rang and Jaehyun and his kids jumped up and hoped to see you standing there, but it was Johnny.

“Uncle Johnny!”, Minah loved her uncle Johnny. “Hey there princess.”, he hugged Minah and high fived Jaemin “Wow, Jaemin. You are growing up so fast.”, and as he looked at his friend, he saw nothing but pain in his eyes.

“Jaemin and Minah, why don’t you go to your room to play. I’ll be there in 5 minutes to play with you, okay?”, Johnny asked the little kids.

“Why are you here?”, Jaehyun asked. “Is it wrong to look after my friend and his kids?”, Johnny took off his jacket and sat down in the living room.

“She called you, didn’t she? Where is she? Johnny please tell me, I need to know where she is.”, he begged his friend now.

“Listen, Jaehyun, I know that this between you two, but please tell me what in the world did you think you were doing?”

Jaehyun sat down next to him and started crying silently so his kids wouldn’t notice. “Johnny I’m a terrible husband. I fucked up so bad. I-I thought everything was over but-”, he hid his face in his hands. “I fucking said someone else’s name while being with my wife. I am so sorry. I need her I can’t live without her.”

Jaehyun told Johnny everything that has happened last night. Johnny was shocked to hear his friend do such thing. Never did he think that Jaehyun would do that to you. He loved you way too much.

“I am speechless.”

“D-Do you hate me now, too?”, Jaehyun was scared to lose everyone.

“No, I don’t hate you but… you really broke her heart and I don’t know If she’ll stay with you after this.”, he was honest.

“Johnny I can’t lose her, I’d do anything.”

“It won’t be easy, that’s all I can say. But I’m here for you.”

It’s been three days since you left. You were missing your kids so much, it hurt you so much to be far away from them. You were staying with one of your friends from work, Soobin. She was always there for you and she invited you with open arms.

You decided to talk to your babies, they probably missed you, too. You dialed Jaehyun’s number, you were scared, and your hands were shaking.

“(Y/n)? H-hello-”, you interrupted Jaehyun before he could say anything more. His voice sounded different. “I want to talk to my kids.”

“A-Aren’t you going to... come back?”, he whispered.

“I just want to talk to Minah and Jaemin.”

“Okay... Baby? It’s mommy.”

“Mommy!! Mommy I missed you so much!”, Minah said as she talked to her mother after a long time.

“God, baby. Mommy missed you, too. I love you so much, baby. I promise you I’ll come to you as soon as I can.”, you tried to stop your tears.

“Mommy don’t cry. I want to play with you mommy but playing with daddy is also cool. And mommy, Jaemin is not nice! He never wants to play with me.”, she cried into the phone.

“Okay baby, I’ll talk to him. Can you give me your brother now? I love you.”

“I love you too mommy. Jaemin!! It’s mommy!”

Jaemin was angry, even though he’s just five he noticed that you and Jaehyun were fighting.

“Hello? Jaemin baby can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Baby I missed you so much. How are you?”, you wanted to talk to him, but he was too angry at you.

“I don’t miss you! I hate you! Dad is crying because of you! I hate you!”, your heart stopped beating. Your son just told you that he hated you. Your own son. You cried, it hurt so much. You didn’t know what to do.

“Baby I’m sorry. I-”

“No! -”

“Jaemin why are you behaving like that? That’s not nice. You are talking to your mother-”, Jaehyun tried to calm his son down.

“No! I hate you!”, he suddenly also screamed at Jaehyun. Jaemin threw the phone on the floor and ran in his room.

Minah started crying and you heard it all, but you couldn’t do anything. Your heart broke at the sound of your babies crying and yelling. Your son hates you.

Jaehyun took his phone and heard you crying.

“I’m sorry he didn’t mean it. Don’t take it to heart, he’s... he’s just angry right now. I’ll handle it, okay? Don’t worry.”, Jaehyun wanted you to stop crying but you just couldn’t. You missed your family so much; it tore you apart.

“I’m... I’m sorry.”, you hung up and cried yourself to sleep. Again.

Two days later, you decided to call Johnny.

“Hey Johnny.”

“How are you? You sound miserable.”, he didn’t want to be mean or anything, but you really sounded like you just died three times.

“Thank you. I am miserable. My son hates me, my husband cheated on me and I didn’t see my kids for a week.”

“Jaemin doesn’t hate you. He’s simply scared and sad, he is a little kid, he doesn’t understand what is happening right now, but he gets that you two are fighting. Of course, he’s angry. I’d be angry, too. Please stop thinking that way.”

“I don’t know. I’m trying so hard but I just- it’s so hard. How’s Jaehyun?”, you asked him. Of course, you were still worried, you love him and even though he broke your heart, he’s the father of your children.

“He’s sick. I mean like seriously he has fever and all that stuff, I was there this morning, he ate some soup but he’s like sick. The kids are always in their rooms playing. He told me to leave, that he’d handle it, but I don’t know. I was going to look after them tonight.”

Jaehyun was sick. You didn’t want to, but you were so worried right now that you decided to go to your family. They needed you and you needed them.

“I’ll go. Thank you for everything.”

“Are you sure?”, Johnny asked.

“I need to be with my family.”

After the phone call with Johnny, you dressed up and drove to your home. It was strange to go there after a week, you missed it so much and you wished that it was all a bad nightmare, but as soon as you arrived in front of your home, you felt all the pain in your heart again.

You opened the door and took off your jacket and shoes. Scenes of the night you left played in front of your eyes. How Jaehyun was crying his heart out and how betrayed you felt.

You saw your husband laying on the couch with your son next to him. Father and son were sleeping, and a smile placed on your face. It warmed your heart to see the two like that.

But you couldn’t let your son sleep so close to his sick father. You carried your son to his bed and let him sleep there. On your way back you stopped at your daughters’ room and saw her also sleeping. She’s beautiful and you missed your kids so much. You would never leave them again. No matter what would happen.

You went back to Jaehyun and tried to slowly wake him up. “Jaehyun. Jaehyun wake up, let’s get you to bed.”

Jaehyun slowly opened his eyes and he saw your beautiful face. “Am... Am I still dreaming?”, he put his hand on your cheek.

“Jaehyun, stop it and get up. I can’t carry you to bed.”, you didn’t want him to touch you, so you pushed his hand away.

“I can’t believe you are real. I love you.”, Jaehyun looked and sounded so sick. His nose was red, and he was shivering. “I’m so cold.”

After you put Jaehyun to bed, you placed your hand on his forehead, just to see how hot he was. “You are burning.”

Jaehyun could hardly open his eyes, but he needed to see you. He missed you so much, he didn’t even know if you were real or not.

You went to the bathroom and came back with wet towels. “Jaehyun you need to take off your shirt.”

He slowly tried to take off his shirt, but he was too weak. “I’ll help you.” You helped him taking off his shirt and then you placed the hot towels on his body. “It’s so cold. The bed is always so cold when you are gone. Please don’t leave, I hate it when it’s cold.”, Jaehyun was talking in his half-awake state.

You tried to ignore him, but you also hated to sleep without him next to you, but after what he had done, you were too disgusted.

Jaehyun fell asleep again and you decided to cook a soup and you looked at your home, it was a mess. Well, you could imagine Johnny trying to clean up, but with a sick Jaehyun and two kids, it’s not easy. You cleaned the floor in the living room, putting the toys back to their right places and after that you cleaned up the kitchen a little. The soup was done and then you heard your little daughter crying. She woke up.

“Baby, Mommy is here it’s okay. Stop crying.”, you picked her up and she stopped crying immediately. “Mommy! Mommy I missed you so much!”

“I missed you to honey. I love you so much.”

After playing with your daughter, your son also woke up. “My little man I missed you so much.”, you were about to hug him, but he stepped back. “No! I don’t want you here!”, it hurt you so much to hear that.

“I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never leave again. It was an emergency I needed to go baby, but I’m back. Didn’t you miss your mom?”

“No, I didn’t I want dad not you!”, your son ran to his dad’s room and jumped on the bad to hug his dad. Jaehyun woke up as his son jumped around. “I don’t want mommy!”, your son cried into his dad’s arms.

“Jaemin I told you to stop saying that.”, Jaehyun sounded so weak. So fragile.

You decided to leave your son with Jaehyun, you didn’t want him to cry anymore.

After seeing Jaehyun so sick you thought of calling your mutual friend, who was a doctor. Kim Doyoung.

Doyoung told you that he’d be here in an hour and you poured the soup into a bowl and placed Jaehyun’s food next to him on the nightstand.

Jaehyun still looked half-asleep. “I need you so much.”, he whispered. You son was back in his room, playing on his own with his car toys.

“I called Doyoung, he’ll be here soon.”, you just said.

You knew that Jaehyun was too weak to eat on his own and you weren’t heartless.

“You need to finish this, okay? Open your mouth.”, you were sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to leave space between you two, so you could just help him eat.

You didn’t look at him, your eyes where everywhere except for his eyes. But Jaehyun, Jaehyun was watching all your moves, and he tried to look at your beautiful face and eyes, but you wouldn’t let him.

After he ate up the doorbell rang. You opened the door and saw Doyoung standing there. “Thank you so much for coming. He’s so sick and you know how he feels in hospitals.”

“No problem, I told you guys whenever you need me, I’d be here.”

Doyoung checked Jaehyun up and it was easy to tell why he was sick. You stood at the door and watched them.

“Were you stressed lately?”, Doyoung asked.

You looked on the floor, and Jaehyun looked at you and then back at Doyoung.

“Yes.”

“Alright, so your body couldn’t handle the stress and that’s how you got sick. You need to avoid stress and you need to stay calm. I’ll give you some pain killers and stay in bed. If anything else happens, just call me. But that’s it for now.”

Jaehyun’s regret and worry ate him up and he was so stressed after you left, that his body reacted like that, your heart clenched, but it wasn’t your fault, you told yourself.

After you thanked Doyoung, he left, and you made dinner for your kids. Jaemin didn’t talk to you but Minah never left your side.

“Mommy is daddy dying?”, she suddenly asked.

“What? Of course not? Why would you think that?”, you were shocked to hear you daughter ask such a question.

“I don’t know, Jaemin said daddy is dying.”, she shrugged her shoulders and played with her doll.

You seriously needed to talk with him, you knew that he was just sad and scared, but it was too much now.

You sat Minah on her chair and then you called Jaemin because dinner’s ready. After you called him two times, he didn’t come so you decided to look after him.

“Jaemin, dinner’s waiting for you.”, he was playing with his dinosaurs and ignored you.

“Jaemin?”

“I don’t want to!”, here we go again. “Jaemin you are making mommy really sad. Why do you hate me? I love you so much.”

“Dad always cries, and you screamed at him! You hurt dad!”, oh boy, seeing him like this hurt you so much.

Jaehyun was standing at the door and listened to his son. It is his fault, not yours. His son should hate him, not you.

“I’m so sorry that you feel that way, don’t be scared, we just talked loud. I don’t want you to think that we were fighting. You know that I love your dad I would never hurt him.”, you tried to hug your son, but he ran out of his room, he didn’t even notice Jaehyun standing there.

Jaehyun looked at you, his heart hurt. Everything was his fault and now you were really suffering the most. How could he tell his son, that he was wrong? That his father is a piece of shit. A cheater. How could he tell his son, that he broke his mother’s heart?

You were still sitting on the floor, with your hands you covered your face and cried. You tried to be quiet but Jaehyun was right there.

He was right behind you now and he placed his hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, please stop crying. I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him that it’s... that I’m the one who hurt you.”

“D-Don’t touch me.”, you ignored his words as you backed away. “Just go back to bed.”

You wiped away your tears and left Jaehyun alone, his eyes followed you. It hurt him that you react like that to his touches, but he understood. It hurt him, but you were way more hurt.

Back in the kitchen you helped Minah eating her food and Jaemin just looked at his. “Why is dad not with us?”, he asked.

“Your dad is sick and needs to sleep. I’ll bring him his soup after you eat.”

“I won’t eat without dad.”, he said now.

“Jaemin, he would love to eat with you-” “I want dad!”, he yelled now. There was no other way. “Okay I’ll get him.”

You went to your bedroom and opened the door slowly. Jaehyun wiped his tears away as fast as he could but you saw it. There was no point in hiding.

“Uhm, Jaemin won’t eat without you. C-Could you sit with us?”, you asked slowly.

“Y-Yes I’ll be there. Just give me a second.”, he said, and you nodded.

You went back to the kitchen and sat down “Dad’s coming.”, you smiled at your son. Your daughter was eating with her fingers and you watched her. You love her so much and you were ready to do anything for your kids’ happiness.

Jaehyun came and sat next to your son. “Dad! Let’s eat together!”, Jaemin finally started eating.

“Do you want your soup now or later?”, you asked Jaehyun.

“Now, please.”, he watched his kids eating and it felt almost like before.

Jaehyun was eating his soup and your kids were also eating. Everyone was eating except you.

“Mommy aren’t you hungry?”, Minah asked.

“No, I’m not hungry.”, you said. “But Mommy you always tell us to eat even if we are not hungry. You need to eat, too!”, after that one night, you lost your appetite. You rarely ate, most of the times you would just eat an apple.

“I’ll eat later, okay? You need to finish first.”

“Okay mommy.”

Minah and Jaemin played around with Jaehyun and you were just sitting there and tried to stop the pain. You tried to forget everything, but you couldn’t.

It was already 10pm and your kids were already sleeping. You didn’t know what exactly to do. Jaehyun was in bed and you were sitting on the couch in the living room.

What was going to happen next? Are you just going to sleep next to him and act like nothing happened? Are you just going to pretend that everything was fine?

You decided to take a hot bath, but first you made Jaehyun a hot tea. You opened the door to the bedroom and saw him sitting there and looking helpless. His nose was still red.

“I made you some tea.”, you put the tea on the nightstand and Jaehyun watched you.

“Thank you.”, suddenly he held your wrist before you could leave. “W-Where is it?”, he asked. “What do you mean?”, first, you didn’t understand. “Where is the ring? Where’s the wedding ring?”, he was so scared of your answer.

“I took it off.”, you just said, avoiding his gaze.

“Y-You took it off. Why?”, his voice trembled. “It didn’t feel right to wear it.”

“B-But you promised. You promised me that you’d never take it off! You promised me that you’d always wear it.”, tears fell down his cheeks. He was so desperate. It was your wedding ring. The ring that showed that you two belonged together.

You were angry. How could he say something like that and cry? How could he act like you were the first one to break a promise? You looked into his eyes for the first time.

“And you promised me to be faithful. You promised me to never break my heart. You promised me to never hurt me and always love me.”, you pulled away your arm from his grip and stepped back.

“I guess promises are meant to be broken.”

You turned on your heel and went to the bathroom. After you closed the door behind you, you started crying. You tried to be as quiet as possible but Jaehyun heard you.

You were right. He broke so many promises he made. Jaehyun broke your heart and he’s scared that you’ll never forgive him. You cried and cried and didn’t leave the bathroom for the next two hours. You were finally home but it didn’t feel like it. You were finally with your kids, but your son hated you. Your words really hit Jaehyun. There was no way that you’d forgive him. He was clueless and he regretted everything so much, he didn’t know what to do.

You couldn’t sleep at all that night. You were sleeping on the couch in the living room, but you were scared that your kids would see you. You were worried about the future. What is going to happen to your marriage? The voice in your head always reminded you that ‘Your husband cheated on you’, you couldn’t stop the voice in your head. But it was the reality you had to face.

Minah was the first to wake up. “Good morning baby.”, you lifted her up and kissed her cheeks. “Mommy I’m hungry.” You heard your son waking up and he opened your bedroom door and jumped on the bed.

“Dad wake up!”, he jumped around.

With Minah in your arms, you went to your bedroom and saw Jaehyun slowly waking up. “Jaemin your dad is still sick. He needs to rest.”.

“It’s alright. I’m feeling better.”, he smiled at his son. “I want to play with daddy, too!”, your daughter said. You placed your daughter on Jaehyun’s lap. “I’ll prepare breakfast.”

You would never destroy the relationship between Jaehyun and your kids. Jaehyun’s a great dad, no, a wonderful dad. When you told him that you were pregnant with Jaemin he was so excited. He was so careful with you and fulfilled every wish you had. Even after you gave birth, he never left your side and helped you as much as he could. Jaehyun told you that he wanted 10 kids with you, when you got married and even after Minah he didn’t want to stop having kids.

You smiled at the memory. You started to blame yourself. After giving birth to two kids, your body didn’t look like before. You felt ugly, of course Jaehyun would cheat on you. Look at you. You look like an ugly piece of shit, you thought.

Your thoughts were interrupted with Jaehyun coming into the kitchen with both of your kids in his arms. “Let’s help mommy”, he said and put his kids down.

Suddenly you got angry. Did he think that you can’t even prepare a simple breakfast? You don’t need help. You are strong.

“I can handle it.”, you said coldly.

“No, it’s alright, I can help you.”, he wanted to take the pan from your hand. “No, Jaehyun. I don’t need your help.”, you raised your voice a little. You totally forgot that the kids were also in the kitchen.

You hated to be like this in front of the kids, but you couldn’t control your anger. Jaehyun looked at you with an open mouth. Before you could say anything, the doorbell rang. Luckily, your kids were busy with playing on the kitchen floor, you hoped that they didn’t hear your voice raising at Jaehyun.

You went to open the door and saw Johnny standing there with Donuts. “Morning. I have donuts!”, he was happy to see you finally home. He knew that it was hard for you and that’s why he visited you guys.

“Thank you John-”, before you could finish your sentence, everything went black and you passed out. The last thing you heard was Johnny telling Jaehyun to call an ambulance.

Jaehyun called the ambulance and ran to you and Johnny. “What... What happened? (Y/n)? Can you hear me? Baby please open your eyes.”, Jaehyun held you in his arms and he totally forgot about his kids who were watching the scene. Johnny saw them standing there and lifted both kids up and brought them to their room. “What is happening to my... my mom?”, Jaemin cried. He was so scared. Your daughter was already crying and screaming. She was also totally scared, and she didn’t understand what was happening.

“She’ll be fine, don’t worry. You dad’s going to the hospital, they’ll look after her. Don’t worry.” Johnny tried to cheer the kids up, but he also didn’t know what was happening.

Jaehyun was holding you and crying. It felt like hours until the ambulance came. He never let go of you.

You woke up in a bright room. You didn’t know where you were or what happened. Your eyes slowly got used to the bright lights and then you saw Jaehyun sitting next to you on a chair, eyes closed.

You tried to take your hand away, but he didn’t let go. You slowly tried to sit up and Jaehyun also woke up.

“You’re awake. How are you feeling? Wait never mind, I’ll just call the doctor.” before you could say anything he ran out of the room and called the doctor.

He came back with the doctor and held your hand again as he sat down next to you.

“How are you feeling, Mrs. Jung?”, he asked you as he looked through your file.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m alright.”, the doctor couldn’t heal the pain in your heart, obviously.

“I need to ask you some question. When was the last time you ate something?”, he looked at you and Jaehyun, too. You felt uncomfortable.

“Uhm, I- can’t answer that.”, you looked down.

“Why?”, he asked. “Because I don’t know.”, you answered quietly. Jaehyun looked at you with worry written all over his face.

The doctor wrote something down and looked back at you. “And sleep? Can you sleep or are you having trouble with that?”

You nodded slowly “It’s hard to fall asleep.”

“How long did you sleep last night?”

“Not at all.”, you didn’t want Jaehyun to know that.

“And the night before?”, the doctor asked. “Maybe two hours?”, you weren’t sure. “Were you stressed lately?”, why is everybody asking you and Jaehyun this. Is it that obvious?

“Y-Yes.”, you finally freed your hand out of Jaehyun’s, who was in his own world right now. This needs to stop, first Jaehyun got sick because of the stress and now you were in the hospital.

“Well, your body needs energy. You must eat to produce energy. And sleep is especially important. Your body and mind need to recover, it seems like your body couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t know what is going on in your private life, but I recommend you to see a psychologist. Your mental state is connected to your body, and If you don’t do anything about it, your body will also suffer. I’ll give you some vitamins you need to take, and you need to stay for tonight, we need to make sure, you won’t pass out again. Any questions?”, the doctor told you all of this in one go and you knew that it was true. But it was so hard for you. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the fight in front of you. Every time you ate something, you thought of you husband with someone else and you couldn’t continue eating.

“No. Thank you.”, you said,

“That’s it then. I hope you get well soon.”, you tried to smile at him, but you were too weak.

After the doctor left, you mind wandered to your kids. “The kids- Jaehyun! The kids, where are my kids?”, you totally forgot that Johnny came to visit.

“They are with Johnny. Don’t worry, he came before you... passed out.”, he looked down, to ashamed to be the reason that you were laying in a hospital bed.

“Where’s my phone?”, you asked. “At home. You can use mine.”, he handed you his.

You looked at the phone in is hand. Did he saved her number? Did he text her? Is he still texting her? Do they have pictures together? You had thousand questions. “C-Call Johnny. FaceTime.”, you would never touch that phone. After two rings, Johnny answered.

“Hey, are you guys alright? Where’s (Y/n)?”, he asked. Jaehyun turned the phone to you. “I’m fine, Johnny. Thank you. Can I talk to the kids?”

“Sure. Minah. Jaemin. It’s your mom.”, he handed the phone Jaemin, who was sitting next to Minah. “Mommy! Where are you?”, Minah started crying. “Baby don’t cry. Daddy and I are staying together. Don’t worry okay? We’ll come back home tomorrow.”, you didn’t want to tell her that you were staying at the hospital.

“Jaemin, baby? Can you be a good big brother and look after your sister? I love you two so much.”, your son didn’t say a word. He started crying and you did, too. It broke your heart that he didn’t talk to you. “Daddy.”, Minah cried out. “Yes baby?”, he came closer and he could also be seen now. “Daddy give Mommy a kiss. That will help her. Mommy always kisses us when we are sick.”, she insisted, while crying. Jaehyun and you wanted to stop your daughter from crying and that’s why you nodded after he asked you with his eyes.

He slowly placed a kiss on your forehead. You had your eyes closed and you missed him so much that it hurt to feel his lips on your skin again. Jaehyun’s eyes were also closed and the kiss felt like forever.

After the call ended, you watched the sun go down. Jaehyun was outside, getting your food. You still didn’t want to eat. But after what happened today, you didn’t want to scare your kids like this again.

He brought you tomato soup, salat and rice with some meat. The soup reminded you, that Jaehyun was still sick.

“Jaehyun.”, you said. “Yes? Is it too hot?”, he asked.

“No, just- You’re still sick, you should rest and eat this, you need it more than I do.”, he looked at you like you were crazy.

“What? No. I’m totally fine. You need to finish all of this and then you’ll sleep. I’m feeling way better.”, you were the most important person for him.

“But-”

“No but’s. I’ll just buy myself a sandwich or something.”

“This is too much for me. Let’s share. I know that you love tomato soup.”, his heart flipped as you said this. You know everything about him. He didn’t answer, just watched you. “Jaehyun?”

“Mhm?”

“I said let’s share the soup. Please?”

How could he say no to the most beautiful woman he has ever seen?

After sharing your soup, you slowly finished the rest. It was awkward that Jaehyun was just sitting next to you on the chair. “Jaehyun, go home.”

“What? Why?”

“The chair is uncomfortable, I know that you can’t stand hospitals, and you are sick, and the kids need you-”, he interrupted you “And I need you, and I won’t go anywhere without you. I don’t care If I sleep on this chair or on the floor. I just want to be with you.”

You looked at him for a second and then you hid your face under your blanket. You didn’t know what exactly you felt when he said that, but you felt so many things.

Pain, love, longing.

You were so exhausted that you fell asleep and Jaehyun watched you. He was scared that it could be the last time he saw your face. Jaehyun couldn’t let you go. He wouldn’t. But what if you do leave him one day?

Jaehyun and you were finally home. Your kids were at the kindergarten thanks to Johnny. You called in sick for work and Jaehyun did too. You two barely spoke since last night. Whenever he said something, he got short replies from you.

You were laying on the couch and Jaehyun was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, even though you weren’t hungry, but he insisted.

Jaehyun was worried. He was determined to cook for you and keep you healthy. He heard some voices from the living room and thought that you were watching TV or something. But as he stood behind you, he leaned against the doorframe and watched you watching your wedding videos.

You were so bored, that you decided to watch the happy times. You wanted to see how it was to be happy and in love. You missed that feeling, you missed Jaehyun looking at you like he did on your wedding day.

In the next clip, you were slow dancing with Jaehyun. Your first dance as a married couple. Everything was perfect. Too good to be true.

Jaehyun heard you sniffing and knew that you were crying again. He placed your breakfast on the table and sat down next to you. Not too close, he didn’t want you to back away or something.

“What happened to us?”, you asked him with a trembling voice. “We were so happy.”

The next clip was the day you gave birth to Jaemin. Jaehyun was crying and he held your hand. “Come on baby, you got this. You are incredible. I love you so much.”

“I love you Jaehyun- Oh god!”, you screamed as you were giving birth. Jaehyun supported you as much as he could. He let you squeeze his hand, scream and yell at him because of the pain you were going through.

“I... I don’t know...”, Jaehyun looked at you and then back at the TV. It was Jaemin’s first birthday.

“I am not hungry.”, you said. Because you really weren’t.

“You need to eat something. The Doctor strictly told you to-”, he tried to convince you, but you were to angry.

“I don’t care! I don’t fucking care!”, you yelled at him suddenly. You watched your son smiling happily at you but now, now he hated you. The smile on Jaemin’s face triggered something in you. “This is all your fault! Everything is your fucking fault!”

“I know. I’m sorry. Just eat a little-”, he tried to calm you down.

“I don’t want to eat something I want my son! You did this to me! He hates me because of you! My son hates me. He hates me.”, you were covering your face as you cried. Jaehyun was sitting next to you, helpless.

“My own son hates me for something I didn’t even do. I don’t deserve all of this. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“I’ll talk to him, please stop crying. You didn’t do anything wrong.”, Jaehyun’s heart arched.

“You will talk to him?”, your blood shot eyes looked at him now. “What are you going to tell him? ‘I cheated on your mother Jaemin.’ huh? ‘You mother didn’t do anything wrong; it was me who fucked someone else.’?! What are you going to tell him?!”, your voice got louder every second.

Jaehyun was also crying now. “I-I don’t know. Are you ever going to forgive me? I know I fucked up big time and it was the biggest mistake in my life.”, he was about to hold your hand, but you pulled away.

“A mistake you did for three whole months. Why did you even stop? Got too bored with her? Were you looking for someone else to fuck? Two women weren’t enough for you?”, she was furious, and she wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her.

“Don’t say that. You are the only one for me, (Y/n). I... You were -are- too good for me. I didn’t know how to express my feelings. I know I made a mistake for months, but I was scared!”, he tried to wipe away his tears, but it didn’t help, tears were falling down his cheeks.

“Obviously, I wasn’t the only one. Would you ever tell me about it? If you hadn’t... If I hadn’t found out that night would you have ever told me?”

Would he? He didn’t know.

“I-I don’t know...”

You didn’t say anything to this.

“Maybe we should just get a div-”, you said but Jaehyun interrupted you. “Don’t you ever dare say that word. I won’t leave you. Ever. I know you don’t trust me, but I’ll do anything to gain your trust again. I’ll do anything you want me to. I love you so much, I can’t live without you. Please don’t leave me.”, he was on his knees now, looking up to your eyes and then his face fell into your lap and he cried.

The scene in front of you was heartbreaking. You looked at the TV and saw the clip of you and Jaehyun with Jaemin, a couple hours after you gave birth to Minah. Jaehyun cried out of happiness on the screen and now he was crying and holding onto you like you would disappear if he let go.

“I’ll be better. I promise you I’ll be the man you deserve. I promise you I’ll never hurt you again. Please don’t leave me. I love you. I love you so much.”, he cried and as you put your hand on his head and stroked his hair, you thought that maybe, just maybe, you could work things out.

“Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Jung. I’m Dr. Hwang. Since it is your first time here, it would be great if you could tell me a little about yourselves and your relationship.”

A week after your last fight with Jaehyun, you decided to go to couple therapy. You thought, maybe a professional could help you go through all of this.

“Let’s start with you, Mrs. Jung.”, she smiled at you.

Jaehyun was sitting on the other edge of the couch and felt uneasy. He feared someone else knowing about what kind of terrible husband he is. He was ashamed and he knew how hard it was for you.

“Well, I’m 28 and I’m working in a publishing company. That’s basically it.”, you didn’t know what other information she needed to know.

“Do you have any hobbies? What are you doing in your free time?”, she asked.

“If playing with my kids and cooking count as a hobby, then yes. And free time. I don’t know, I don’t actually have time for myself.”, you answered honestly.

“Alright. Now you Mr. Jung.”

“Well, I’m 29 and I work as a manager in a company. And I don’t have any hobbies.”

“Okay, thank you. Now please tell me how you two met and about your relationship in general.”

“We met in college.”, Jaehyun began talking with a smile on his face as he remembered how he met you. “It may sound cliché, but we didn’t like each other at first. We teased each other a lot. She looked so cute when she got mad and one day, I couldn’t handle her cuteness, so I just kissed her to shut her up and that’s basically it. I never loved anyone else since that day.”

You smiled, too. You remembered that day so well. You always had a crush on Jaehyun since the first day you met. Who wouldn’t? You were so shy at first but after he started teasing you, you teased him, too. The way you two looked at each other every time while teasing each other, it was like you were waiting for him to kiss you and when he did, you knew that he was the one. The one you’d spend the rest of your life with. The love of your life.

“That’s a cute story.”, Dr. Hwang smiled. “So please tell me now why you are here.”

It was too hard for you to say it out loud. You waited for Jaehyun to talk about it and he did. He knew it wasn’t easy to talk about it.

“We are here because I... because I cheated on my wife for three months.”, he looked down to his lap.

Dr. Hwang was writing down something as she listened to Jaehyun.

“Okay, please tell me more about it. How and why did you decided to come here? How did it start, and why did you stop?”

“Uhm, my wife found out because I- I said the other, person’s name, while we were... together...”, Jaehyun was so embarrassed. “It started in April, I think, with, uhm, with someone from work. I did it because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for her. (Y/n) is perfect in everything and I am just... me. I felt so little and useless and it is pathetic but I... I needed someone to tell me that I was good enough and... I couldn’t think straight and ended up with the... other person. After the first time I didn’t know what to do. I was too scared to tell (Y/n) and too dumb to stop it. It was our daughter’s birthday when I realized, that I was doing a big mistake and that I was destroying the perfect life I had. And then I broke it off , because I knew that I was hurting my wife, even though she didn’t know it back then. I was disgusted in myself and stopped as soon as I could. I know that nothing justifies my behavior but... I just wanted someone to tell me that I was... good...”

You didn’t know how to feel after he said all of that. Were you hurt because he looked for someone who was there for him? Were you hurt because you weren’t that person? Was everything you fault?

“Thank you, Mr. Jung. Mrs. Jung please tell me how you felt when you found out.”

That was hard to answer. “Well, I... I felt numb. I didn’t feel anything at first. After I found out, I left for a week. When I was alone I... I realized everything and I only felt pain... After I came back, I was numb again... but everything boiled up in me and I was furious.”

“Okay, thank you. So, I can tell, that you are going through a rough time. Both of you. What do you except to happen, now that you are here?”, she asked.

“I want my wife to be happy again. I need her to forgive me for everything I’ve ever done because I love her. I want to save our marriage.”

Mrs. Hwang nodded and looked back at you. “I want to save our marriage, too.”

And that was your first session. You looked out of the window as Jaehyun drove home.

“What do you think of her?”, Jaehyun asked after a while.

“She seemed nice. And you?”

“Yeah. She really seemed nice; I hope she’ll help us.”

After you arrived home it was timer for dinner. Luckily, Johnny watched your kids. He really is the best, you thought.

“Thank you for everything, Johnny. I’m so sorry to drag you into this mess.”, you were cooking dinner with Johnny next to you as Jaehyun played with the kids.

“I told you guys; I’ll always be there for you. Whatever happens between you two, I’m here for you two. And you know that I love the kids and of course they love me, I mean, Uncle Johnny is way cooler than Uncle Mark.”, he laughed and after a long time, you laughed, too.

Johnny stayed for dinner; it was less awkward. He was talking to Jaehyun and to the kids the whole time. You were playing with your food, slowly eating, because again, you weren’t hungry. Jaehyun watched you from time to time.

“Mommy??”, you were so deep in thoughts that you didn’t even hear Minah talking to you.

“Yes honey?”

“Mommy can Uncle Johnny sleep here tonight? Please Mommy!”, Minah said excitingly.

“But honey-”

“Mommy please?”, Jaemin asked you now. He was careful when he talked to you since you went to the hospital. The next day he saw you at home he cried again and jumped up, he wanted you to lift him up and you did.

“Mommy!”, he cried into your shoulder. “I thought I hurt you because I screamed at you... did you go to the hospital because of me Mommy?”, he cried.

“Oh my god, baby no! No of course not, I love you baby why would you think that.”, you cried, too.

Minah was in Johnny’s arms and started crying, too. You promised yourself that you’d never scare your kids like this ever again. After that Jaemin was talking to you as if you were fragile and could break any moment, which was the case.

“I’m sorry Mommy.”, Jaemin held you and never wanted to let go.

“(Y/n)?”, Jaehyun called for you now.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Uhm, I don’t know... Johnny?”, you looked at him. “I don’t care actually, It’s up to you guys.”

“It’s fine for me.”, Jaehyun didn’t mind.

“Yes! Thank you! Come on Uncle Johnny let’s watch Toy story!”, Minah jumped in her seat and Jaemin smiled brightly.

You on the other side weren’t that happy. For the past weeks you slept on the couch, you didn’t even think of sleeping in your bed with Jaehyun. But If Johnny stays, he needs a place to sleep.

Your kids were sleeping already and Jaehyun was talking to Johnny in the living room. You placed a blanket and a pillow on the couch and asked him if that was alright for him.

“Yeah don’t worry about me. Thanks.”

“Okay, uhm. I’m going to bed, good night.”

After a long time, you’d sleep in your bedroom again. You were nervous. After changing your clothes and brushing your teeth, you got under the blankets. It felt strange to be in this bed. You were at the edge, one push you’d fall, but this is also Jaehyun’s bed and you were scared to be too close.

It’s been a couple minutes since you were in bed and were laying on your back, eyes open.

Jaehyun came in and slowly closed the door. None of you talked and as he went to the bathroom, it felt like you could breathe again.

Jaehyun changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, and came back.

“(Y/n)?”, he asked.

“Yes?”, you looked at each other now. “C-Can I sleep here? I can also sleep on the floor If you want me to. Or I can sleep with Joh- okay no, just the floor.”

You wanted to laugh when he mentioned sleeping with Johnny, but he looked just like a lost puppy. “Yes, you can sleep here. It’s also your bed after all.”

He nodded and slowly got under the blankets next to you. It felt like years, being with him in the same bed. Jaehyun was also laying on his back, looking up. He tried to give you as much space as you needed but he wanted to touch you, he wanted to hold your hand and kiss you. Jaehyun wanted to breathe in your smell, the scent of vanilla he loved so much. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that he loves you. But he couldn’t.

He turned to the side to look at you. You felt his gaze on you and turned your face to him. The moon shined brightly tonight and was your only source of light.

Slowly, his hand got closer to your cheek, he was about to stroke your cheek but as you closed your eyes, he just couldn’t. He didn’t deserve to touch you with his dirty hands.

You thought he’d place his hand on your cheek but as you opened your eyes, you saw the struggle in his.

“I’m sorry.”, he pulled his hand back.

“Good night, Jaehyun.”, you said as you turned around, your back now facing him.

“Good night.”

Jaehyun was standing in front of you but it seemed like he didn’t see you or hear you. No matter how loud you screamed, Jaehyun never reacted.

“Jaehyun!”, you screamed again. There was a woman standing next to Jaehyun now, you couldn’t see her face. “Jaehyun!”, you screamed again. Jaehyun pulled the unknown woman closer to him and then he hugged her. “What the- Jaehyun? Can’t you see me? Please, Jaehyun?!”

You couldn’t move no matter how hard you tried, nothing worked. “I missed you so much, baby.”, Jaehyun said to the woman. “No Jaehyun! Please don’t! I’m here! I’m right here!”

The woman’s face was blurry, you couldn’t tell who it was. Jaehyun’s hand pulled her by her head and kissed her. He was kissing the woman right in front of your eyes and there was nothing you could do. “Jaehyun! Don’t do this to me please don’t. Please don’t kiss her!”, you were crying so hard that your sight got blurry.

“(Y/n)! Do you hear me?!”, you could hear Jaehyun’s voice, but it was impossible. He was kissing her. How could he talk to you while he was kissing the other woman?

“Wake up (Y/n)! Everything’s fine, baby. Open your eyes.”

Nothing is fine. Stop kissing her.

“It’s just a dream. Please wake up.”, he begged.

A dream? More like a nightmare.

Suddenly you opened your eyes and you were breathing heavily with sweat everywhere. Your heart hurt and you were scared. Was it just a dream? A nightmare?

“Look at me. It was just a dream.”, Jaehyun held you in his arms as he tried to calm you down.

You didn’t even notice how hard you were crying. You gripped his shirt with your hands and pulled him closer. Too scared to lose him if you let go.

“It’s okay baby. You are safe now. Everything is alright.”, he placed kisses on your hair as he held you. You were slowly able to breathe in a normal rhythm, but you didn’t let him go.

“It... It was so real. J-Jaehyun it felt so real...”, you whispered.

Little did you know that you were talking in your sleep. Jaehyun heard you crying out loud and he knew exactly what happened in your dream.

“I know baby, but it was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real, please stop crying.”

You let him go as you thought about your dream. It wasn’t just a dream. It happened. Jaehyun did that to you. He did kiss another woman.

“L-Let me go...”, you whispered.

“Are you feeling better now?”, he asked as he slowly let you go.

You shook your head. “Is there anything I can do for you?”, he asked now.

“N-No. Nothing I... I just need- I don’t know what I need.”

You really didn’t know what you need. Everything was happening so fast but at the same time so slow.

“I’m going to take a shower.”, you got up and left him alone in your bed. Jaehyun let out a sigh as he tried to get back to sleep.

But that night, neither of you got any sleep.

One week past and today was your second couple therapy session.

“Is there anything you want to know, Mrs. Jung? Mr. Jung promised to answer all of your questions.”

He really did. Jaehyun promised to tell you everything you wanted to know.

“Well, there are some questions I have...”

Jaehyun looked at you but you avoided eye contact.

“Go for it, Mrs. Jung. Just ask.”

You played with your fingers as you tried to ask the questions that bothered you for so long now. “My first question is... uhm... You said it was someone from work... do you, still... like... see her?”, your heart was beating hardly against your chest.

“I- uhm, yes. She’s there when I go to work...”, he was also playing with his fingers now, too scared to see your reaction.

“Okay... d-do you talk to her?”

“No. Not like before. I mean... just a little at our meetings, but like we are all talking, I’m not directly talking to her.”, he tried to explain that he really isn’t talking casually to her. Only when it is totally necessary.

“And you stopped... doing it with her, right?”, you asked even though Jaehyun told you many times that it was long over.

“Yes.”

“I have another question.”

Jaehyun’s eyes were on you again.

“Did you... When you said that you... uhm... chose me. Did you mean it? No, I mean... why? No no... god this is so stupid... Just tell me why you said that and If you were really about to... choose her...”, Jaehyun’s words that night really hurt you. Choosing your wife over your affair? Did Jaehyun really think about that back then?

You didn’t even notice the tears falling.

“I didn’t mean it like that- I... It was always you. I chose to love you many years ago and I still do and forever will love only you. I don’t know why I said that... I guess I tried to tell you that I was also hurt all the time and... It’s just that I thought... think... that I’m worthless. You are perfect. Literally perfect. And I thought you deserve better, you still do, but I love you. I always thought that you’d be happier... without me. I thought it would be better If we”, he let out a sigh, “broke everything off and the best way to this was to... hurt you. I know it’s stupid and If I could I’d go back in time and beat the shit -sorry- out of me.”, he tried to explain that it wasn’t choosing between you and her but between your life without him and your life with him.

Jaehyun was deep in thoughts as he talked, he tried to explain his stupid situation to you as good as he could, so that you could understand him, even a little.

You tried to go through everything in your head, but it was too much. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now,” you left Jaehyun and Dr Hwang as you tried to calm down. You got inside of your car and tried to breathe. You closed your eyes shut, trying to delete the images in your head. The images of Jaehyun with another woman. It didn’t stop. Whatever you thought of, you ended up with the same image in your mind.

You didn’t even notice that Jaehyun was sitting next to you. Tears also falling down his cheeks. You felt so helpless. You felt like there was nothing you could do to erase the pain.

“(Y/n), please look at me. Please. I’m trying so hard, I’m so sorry.”, Jaehyun cupped your cheeks. He was looking into your eyes and he wiped off your tears. “I’ll do anything for you. As long as you stop crying. I promise you the pain will stop.”

“Do you really think that? Do you really think that it’ll stop? Do you really think that I’ll be able to forgive you and we’ll be happy again?”, you searched for answers in his eyes.

“I know it. I know that we’ll be happy again. That you’ll be happy again. You are the strongest woman I know, and I will do anything in my hand to make you smile again.”

“I hate to be like that but… C-Can you stop working there? I... I don’t want you to be close to her.”, in the deepest of your mind you told yourself that it didn’t matter where he worked. He could do it again. Even if he changed his workplace, how could you be sure that it won’t happen again?

You tried to ignore the voice inside your head.

“If it’s what you want, of course. I told you I’d do anything for you.”

Silence. There was another question in your head, but you feared the answer.

“Jaehyun?”, you asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you still have her number? Or like… anything that involves her on your phone?”, you looked out of the window, you tried to focus so that you wouldn’t cry.

“No, I promise you. There’s nothing that involves her.”

“Okay.”, you sighed. You weren’t sure If you could believe him but at this point it didn’t even matter.

It’s been 8 months since the worst day in your life.

It was a very difficult journey until today. It was hard for you, after the first night you slept in your own bed, you stopped sleeping in the living room. Most of the times you were haunted by nightmares but day after day they became less. You and Jaehyun were close, yet so far from each other. In front of your kids you acted like always, like the happy couple with no failures, but when you were alone, you put a big distance between you two. You never let him touch you and he never tried, knowing how hard it was for you. In those 8 months, you never even kissed. But it was alright, Jaehyun would walk through fire for you.

The furthest of skin ship that happened was a couple months ago when you hugged him. You just hugged him out of nowhere and you didn’t let go for a whole hour. Jaehyun was too scared to put his hands around you but you asked him to.

“Please just hug me back. I need this right now.”

And he slowly hugged you back. Pulling you closer than you already were and softly caressing your hair.

You were still going to couple therapy together. It helped you so much, you wouldn’t know what would’ve happened If you were all alone. Johnny helped you also so much, taking care of the kids and even Jaehyun.

Jaehyun still hates himself. He acted like you were fragile, always trying to make you happy, never crossing any line you set. He came straight home after work and spend all his time with you and your kids. Jaehyun cooks for you to surprise you and he buys a different bouquet of flowers every Sunday for you.

Today, on your son’s sixth birthday, you invited your family and friends to celebrate your baby’s birthday. You never told anyone, except Johnny of course, what happened between you and Jaehyun. You were scared that your dad would rip Jaehyun’s head of and you didn’t want Jaehyun’s parents to know that his son did something as disgusting as that. It was your marriage and it was something between you and Jaehyun, but still, he couldn’t look his and your parents in the eyes. After months, he couldn’t even look you properly in the eyes.

After your son opened his toys, you couldn’t find Jaehyun. You opened your bedroom door and you could hear him crying. He was in the bathroom, sitting on the floor and he covered his face with his hands and just cried.

“Jaehyun?”, you closed the door and kneeled. “Jaehyun why are you crying? Hey, stop crying, Jaemin’s just six… he’s still your little-”

“I-I’m not crying because he’s growing up so fast, well, that’s also a reason but... It’s just…”, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

You took his hands into your hands and looked at him. His eyes were blood shot red and the tears were falling down, and it seemed like they wouldn’t stop anytime.

“Hey, it’s alright. Look at me- “

“I can’t. I can’t look at you or at our family- I can’t even look at my own children. I just can’t. I don’t deserve any of you. I can’t look at your parents, knowing how much I hurt their daughter. I can’t look at my parents, knowing how disappointed they’d be. I can’t look at you, knowing that I am the reason for the pain in your heart, the tears in your eyes and the nightmares when you sleep. What kind of father am I? I always wanted to be a role model for my son, but now I hope that he never becomes like me.”

You were also crying now, you forgot about your family in the living room and you just cried with Jaehyun in the bathroom. “Jaehyun you are a great father, stop thinking like that. We’ll go through this together, don’t you remember? You promised me that.”

“I know but… what If I’m not good enough? What If I can’t make you happy again? What If- “, before Jaehyun could finish his sentence, you placed your lips on his. It was a slow kiss, you could taste the tears while you kissed him and he could, too. Both of your eyes closed, hand in hand.

Jaehyun was scared to go too far, but you sat on his lap and pulled him closer to you. After you kissed him, even though none of you wanted to stop, you placed your head in the crook of his neck and hugged him.

“I love you so much.”, he said as he hugged you back.

You couldn’t say it. He knew that you couldn’t, and it was alright. Jaehyun would give you all the time in the world. You wanted to tell him, that you loved him so much, but it was hard. But both of you knew, that you loved him.

It was your wedding anniversary one month later, and Jaehyun asked you out. This would be your first date after a whole year. You spent the last anniversary at home with your kids, at that time Jaehyun was rarely at home.

But two days ago, he bought so many roses and decorated your bedroom and asked you out. Jaehyun already asked Johnny to watch your kids and he happily agreed to do so, now it was just up to you. Were you ready to go on a date with Jaehyun?

Yes, you were.

Jaehyun told you to be ready at 7, he was still at work and told you to get ready. You stood in front of your closet, not sure what to wear. “He likes red. Maybe I should wear this- “, you were interrupted by the kids and Johnny.

“Mommy!! Can we come in?”, Jaemin asked.

“Yes, what’s wrong?”, you asked them as they entered your bedroom.

“This is for you.”, Jaemin and Minah handed you a package. “What’s this?”, you asked confused. “Just open it.”, Johnny smiled brightly.

And so, you did. There was a beautiful black dress inside the package. “Daddy told us to give you that!”, Minah said happily.

The dress was beautiful, really beautiful and it looked expensive. How could you were something so expensive, what If you drop anything on it while you eat?

“Mommy come on change we want to see it!!”, Jaemin jumped around.

“Okay okay, now get out.”, you smiled.

After you changed, you looked at the mirror and your jaw dropped. It’s been a long time since you wore something like this. It was a long black dress with thin straps, skintight, with a cut on the left side of your leg. You let your hair open and curled the tips a little. You were so excited; you almost forgot the most important thing.

Your wedding ring.

After you took it off, you only wore it when your family was around. But today you decided to wear it and you wouldn’t take it off again.

“How do I look?”, you asked after you left your room.

“Not better than me, that’s for sure.”, Johnny joked.

“Mommy is a princess!!”, Minah’s eyes shined just like you did.

“You are also a princess, my pretty girl.”, you placed a kiss on her head.

“When I grow up, I am going to marry you mommy.”, Jaemin said.

“Oh my god, can you get any cuter?”, you were about to tear up but the doorbell rang. You opened the door and you saw Jaehyun smiling brightly at you with another bouquet of roses in his hands. He was wearing a suit, and lord, Jaehyun in a suit was your weak point.

“Holy shit. “, he started.

“Jaehyun! Language!”, you hoped that your kids didn’t hear that.

“I’m sorry it’s just. Holy shit.”, he said again.

“I think it’s time to go.”, you waved at your kids and Johnny closed the door, Jaehyun was still in trance.

Jaehyun had a reservation at the restaurant you first went to on your first date

“It’s been so long since we came here, but nothing changed.”, you said, and he agreed with a hum. “God you are so beautiful.”, that was the nth time he told you how beautiful you were.

“Jaehyun stop, don’t make me shy.”

“But you are cute.”, he admired you.

The waiter filled your glasses with wine and as you put your hand around it, Jaehyun noticed the ring.

“You are wearing it?”, he smiled at you.

“Yes, and I don’t want to take it off. Ever again.”, you looked at it with a smile on your face.

“I’m sorry but you have to.”, he said seriously.

“W-What? Why?”

He took out a little box of his Jackett and opened it. “I want to give you this.”, there was a ring inside of the box. “We can’t… restart our marriage and I can’t erase our memories, I can’t undo what happened, but I can promise you, that I’ll love you with every breathe I take and that I’ll give you the happiness you deserve. I’ll do anything as long as you are happy, and I’ll never hurt you again. I can’t imagine my life without you. You gave me two beautiful children and your heart. It’s more than I deserve but I promise you, I will show you how much I love you until my last breath. This ring is my promise to you. I don’t want you to look at your old ring and think about… the bad times. I want you to look at this ring and feel happiness and love.”, Jaehyun was holding your hand and looked at you. For so many months, he couldn’t even talk to you, and now he was looking you straight into the eyes as he talked.

“Is that alright for you?”, he asked then.

You felt like crying again, but you didn’t want to, so you didn’t talk. You nodded your head and smiled at him.

He took off your old ring and replaced it with the new one.

You looked at it with the biggest smile on your face.

Of course, your heart didn’t heal fully, but day by day, the pieces of your broken heart got back together.

“I love you.”, he meant it. Jaehyun really meant it every time he told you he loved you. After being so close to losing you, it felt like his love for you grew and is still growing.

“I love you.”, after a whole year, you finally said it and it felt good. You were happy right now, it felt so good to say it back.

Life isn’t easy, everybody knows that. You could cry all day long and suffer in pain or you could do something to be happy again.

People tend to forget that time is the key. The process of healing takes time and that’s good.

Time heals all our wounds. Sometimes it takes longer but, in the end, you’ll be happy again.

2K notes · View notes

binniesthighs · 4 years

Text

telepatía | reader x binsung

a/n: hi cuties! hope ya’ll are are staying seggsy and cozy! ;) this piece is 100% self indulgent (hehe) as well as my first time writing a poly r/ship! since i’m new at it, any and all feedback is super super appreciated!! <3

telepatía | changbin x reader x jisung

~aka, my love note to binsung~

Pairing: self insert, seo changbin x female reader x han jisung

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: poly relationship, long distance r/ship au, established r/ship au, inspired by a song au, comfort fic, lil bit emotional but that’s bc they are in looove, idiots in love, softdom!binnie, hardswitch!reader, softsub!jisung, mentions of food, explicit language, masturbation (f), dirrrrty talking, hehe soft love makin’, lowkey size and corruption kink, unprotected sex, oral (m&f), face sitting, penetration (piv and anal), double penetration (f), nipple play (m&f), fingering (f), squirting, marking, multiple orgasms, creampie, ahhh soft n’ intimate body touching, cockwarming, shower aftercare, i am so sorry i got sooooo carried away teehee

Word count: 7.9k

Recommended listening: telepatía by kali uchis

Two months. Two months that had felt like eternity.

Your pen tapped at the table to your desk as you watched the minutes pass by. To your right, your desk calendar with your little countdown smiled at you with the little doodles had drawn along with the stickers that you had decorated there.

Five more days!

The golden hour of the day passed by outside your window upon the city that you had been calling home for the past two months. It was gorgeous. Unreal even. Studying abroad had been harder than you had expected--although it was often exciting at other times too. There was not a day that passed when you had regretting doing it, but there were other days when you had wished you could just transport yourself right back home; even if it meant it would be for only a couple hours of so.

During nights like these, your cramped little studio felt even more empty than usual. The colors of gold and pink would smear in the skyline along with pale pink clouds that looked softer and lusher than anything else in the world. In the springtime, the budding and green trees lined the outside of the apartment complex and birds twittering past would flutter their wings outside of your window cracked open slightly. As the days went by, the air warmed and became more humid, and smelled of luxurious primrose and hyacinths.

Your room was dimly lit by your desk lamp, and you hadn’t bothered to turn on any other light. Pages wrinkled, and your sense of loneliness came creeping in like the cold winter that the new season had now just chased away. You didn’t want the feeling to linger, but you couldn’t help but let it.

The sheets of your bed were cozy, much like the rest of the way that you had decorated your studio. The cream colored covers felt like silk on your legs, but where nothing compared to the touch that you craved.

Your phone clicked on with it’s blue-white light, showing your screensaver: a beautiful sunset image of that last walk that you had taken of the two of them before you had left.

If it were possible, you imagined that missing one person was enough to shatter a heart, but two people?

You hugged your phone to your chest, feigning some semblance of a hug to the two of them. Your nose sniffled as it grew more stuffed, and you let your suppressed sobs fill up the space of the room.

You were convinced that you must've been the the luckiest or the unluckiest person in the whole world: two loves of your life, two people to share it all with had been like a dream come true. It was finally something that felt like it made sense. But, to be so closely tied to two people, meant that being away from them hurt two times as much.

You imagined them with you in your room: they loved to sandwich you in the middle of them. This was their favorite place to have you. Nothing had been warmer and safer than that. Arms and legs would be all tied together in a way that made little sense, and both of their quiet breathing would tickle at the skin of the back of your neck and your forehead. If there was anything that you had guessed you missed most, it would be falling asleep with them. “I love you’s” would be whispered, and all space between you dissapear once the down comforter would be pulled to your noses.

No matter how hard you pretended that they were there, it was never the same.

[it takes three to make a thing go right] binnie, sungie, me

binnie: have you had dinner yet? please don’t forget!

jisung: [see image] this is what we’re having for breakfast! we wish you were here with us!

With shaking fingers you opened the picture to view Jisung’s attempts at cooking. He had been getting into it these days. You had almost wished sometimes that you had been there to try whatever he had concocted--even if it didn’t taste the best. Today it looked like he had tried to make fluffy pancakes with strawberries and cream...but they didn’t end up as fluffy as they should’ve been. Changbin was in the background of the picture making a couple finger hearts. Undoubtedly Jisung had asked him to do it for the picture: Changbin was more of the no-nonsense and stoic type with somewhat of a goofy edge. You and Jisung always knew how to make him melt. “You two are my weaknesses you know?”

sungie: don’t stay up too late either! finish strong before you come back, okay?

binnie: we really can’t wait to see you, five days can’t come soon enough.

You sniffled, sitting up. Had they been there then, they wouldn’t have liked to see you cry. Although your heart stung with a sharp pain seeing them so happy together, you brought yourself back together. You knew exactly how it would’ve been: Jisung would dry your tears gently, then cuddle right up under your arm to nuzzle into your shoulder. Behind the both of you, Changbin would spread his arms wide so both of you could be wrapped up in him.

me: i really miss you both. i miss you so, so much. i can’t wait to see you on Friday. don’t have too much fun without me until then :)

binnie: you kidding? we’re miserable without you!! i think that we’re both going crazy.

sungie: he’s right!! it feels so weird, it always has been these past months.

we’re not complete without you, y/n. we miss you too sooooo much.

and you know that bin gets crabby sometimes. when it’s just me around...

bin: hey! the hell you mean crabby?! i’m a frickin angel!!!

The way that you could read each of their messages in their voices brought you comfort, and you giggled a little reading the words.

sungie: relax! i’m just trying to make her laugh. did i succeed?

me: you did sungie. :)

bin: you forget that i’m sitting right next to you sung, you’re playing a risky game.

sungie: ooooh he talks such big talk, are you seeing this y/n? do you see what i mean? plz come back and save me!!!

bin: HEY

me: binnnnn go easy on sungie.

bin: i do!!!

i only go rough when he asks me too ;)

sungie: w o w

While it did make you laugh, it still hurt a little thinking about how even with you missing, their lives still went on, they ate meals together, went to concerts, movies, out to eat, and, at the end of the day, they still had eachother to cuddle up with to sleep. It hurt even more thinking about how they still had eachother to satisfy other comforts. Of course, you were still involved over the phone and video calls too, but with thousands of miles of distance, your hands alone could never feel as mind-blowing as theirs.

binnie: there will be plenty of that when you get back too y/n ;) sung has maybe had it too easy.

me: hmm too easy?

Jisung send a series of emoji stickers that all conveyed about the same message: oh my god i’m in trouble.

binnie: anyway, jokes aside, we are really looking forward to friday. sungie and i have been talking about it and we think we just want to spend the night in if that’s okay with you? you’ll be tired too.

As always, your boyfriends were the most considerate people in likely the whole world. You didn’t really want to be anywhere else, but just with the two of them; as close as you possibly could be.

me: that sounds perfect. <3

sungie: get some rest tonight!! in the morning get yourself something nice for breakfast, i can send you some money hehe

binnie: boyfriend of the year award over here ! !

sungie: hey, we’re both boyfriend of the year! duh, she loves us the same???

me: that’s very true.

binnie: pffff

sungie: don’t make me tackle you seo changbin, i am sitting right next to you

binnie: is that a promise?

me: boys, boys stop fighting, you’re both boyfriend of the year.

binnie: see? y/n, we’re a mess without you.

sungie: changbin, you’re my boyfriend of the year too. does that make you feel better?

binnie: maybe.

sungie: we’re keeping y/n from getting dinner. we should shut up now.

anyhoo!

we love and miss you a lot a lot. take care until friday! we’re almost there!!!!

binnie: BUT I LOVE HER MORE

sungie: bin, i love you, but please, shut up.

binnie: i’m joking!! sungie i’m joking. this is an equal relationship obviously.

By now, their usual antics had left your tearstained face dry, and the corners of your mouth sore from how hard you had smiled.

binnie: see you soon! goodnight y/n!

sungie: night y/n <3

You clicked your phone closed, then let your weight drop down to your pillow that held the smell of the evening air.

“It’ll be sooner than you think.” You sighed.

It was much too nice of a night to be doing homework, so you decided to push it off for just a couple more hours, flicking on your dinky TV set to a local station where they spoke in the language that you had been teaching to yourself for the past couple months. Here and there you could recognize a few words, but you mostly liked it for the noise.

You pulled your thin sheet over your bare legs, merely enjoying the simplicity of the feeling over your whole body.

there will be plenty of that when you get back home too.

we love and miss you a lot a lot.

Two months for imagining...and you had learned to hone your skill especially, even if it didn’t feel the same. Even though missing them hurt, you could still feel the love from them from thousands of miles away. They had said themselves that they didn’t feel complete without you.

The silky feeling sheets tickled at the hairs on your arms as your hand teased down your stomach, then toyed with the elastic of your panties under cotton shorts. You blamed it on the night being especially pleasant, or maybe it was just what you and needed at that moment.

You wondered how much they had missed you, if they thought of you when their hands would run over each other, or perhaps even if they would imagine that you were there with them when they hold each other close, tiny gaps and moans stick on their lips while they would pleasure each other too. You in fact had thought of them: Jisung’s pretty moans and the way that Changbin liked to suck little bites into his neck.

That spring air hushed into your window with the softness of a song, and curious fingers dipped into your folds and twitching bud which was wet to the touch. Your body jolted at the feeling of your fingers on your suddenly needy clit. Your mind ran wild thinking of the way that both of them had looked beside you, one of their hands dipping under the fabric of your panties and the other lightly twisting at your nipples too. Absentmindedly, your own hand reached to mimic the action on your breast while you remembered. Careful kisses would be pressed into your cheek and neck while they whispered adoring little praises in your ears.

“You’re so beautiful baby, like nothing else.”

“We love you so much. My princess, such a good girl for me, hm? You like how our hands look on you?”

Your body shivered at the memory, and you rubbed circles into your clit, gathering your own sticky slick to rub over the sensitive bud.

“Yes,” You whispered to the empty room.

The golden setting sun reflected fractals of tiny rainbows into your room--just as your prism had done hanging in the window back at home. It would reflect on the stucco walls, and the colors would streak on the ceiling. You would catch sight of them laying tangled up in scattered sheets with both of their bodies prowling over you in bare skin. You could trace the curves of their shoulder blades like the edge of perfectly crested waves. A faraway warmth swelled over your body, and you rubbed harshly at your bud craving more and and more. Your legs squirmed under the sheets: much like they would when they would bow their heads to tease at your clit with interweaving tongues, sandwiched between your thighs which they would pull back with starving fingertips. You could almost hear it: the way that your slick would drip over your pussy, and how they would taste it too on each others lips in between.

Your back arched recalling their praise. They would pull you between them once again, and fill your mouth with adoring kisses covered with multitudes of their love. Jisung would mewl little whines into your mouth, shaking from your hand wrapped around his cock, and Changbin kissed you like you were his reason for breathing: slow, languid, purposeful. He’d sigh out watching the way that you marked up Jisung’s body while pumping himself all the while.

“Binnie. Sungie.” Their names became your anchor while your rubbed wider, then slower, then faster. Your soaked fingers plunged into your pussy while your head danced with the memories of them filling you up, rolling their hips in as deeply as thye could, kissing into your chest or the crook of your neck. You curved your fingers to tease at your g-spot, but your clit was even more impatient.

“Do you want to cum for us princess?”

“I’ll cum for you...” Your breath hitched in that room all by yourself.

Your fingers wiggled back up to your clit, now hypersensitive from its lack of attention. Instantly, your orgasm built violently behind the twitching bud, and you threw your free arm back to grip into your pillow to steady yourself. Sweat had gathered on the underside of your thighs and on your back: it was a feeling so dirty that it only made your head feel lighter. It was as if they were in the room with you and you could see them clearly: enamored eyes dipped in lust that ate up your form until there was nothing left.

“C-close.” You shuddered, now with pruned fingers encircling until you drew yourself right to the brink.

You came with a forceful heat that swept over your whole body and sent your hips jerking up into the air and toes digging into the bed. Your incisors bit harshly at your lip, and you stifled your unsteady and high pitched moans the best you possibly could. In your apartment complex, the walls were thin enough for there to be little left to the imagination.

Your chest shook as you came down and you teased your bud, edging on overstimulation for as long as you could take it. Jisung had liked the way that you would convulse like this and Changbin would relentlessly give little slaps to your aching bud. Once you could take no more, you drew your hand back from the elastic, then you let the euphoria sweep over your body for a few moments of silence and tranquility.

Yes, you had done it to yourself, but without their help, there was no way that you could’ve shown your body the same kind of fervent love.

It was as if they could make love to you telepathically, even on this night when the sun was setting, and your bed was empty.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You hadn’t expected yourself to feel nervous meeting them at the airport. Still, your heart pounded in your chest with a ridiculous rhythm. It wasn’t like you had a completely different face or had changed anything about yourself remotely that would’ve shocked them. Still, a sense of anxiety swelled in you that was unexpected and unwarranted. Perhaps it was because it was so surreal.

There was something odd about the airport, it was likely how industrial it all felt with chairs that were lined with thin upholstery and carpets that held all kinds of mysterious stains. But, while it was a bit of a undesirable area, it was teeming with excitement. There were patrons at the magazine stands busying themselves flipping through books and laughing at the outrageous titles, people sitting joyously at the little restaurants and several hyper children tugging the hands of exasperated parents with neck pillows clinging to their strained necks. Further down the way, there was the sign illuminated pointing to the pick up area past baggage claim.

The air smelled overly filtered, but it was still as exhilarating. You took two escalators down and one moving walkway, then the light of the outdoors flooded the area with conveyor belts and the screens above them.

“Y/n? Y/n!!!!” Jisung’s voice called over the busy sounds of baggage claim filled to the brim with his excitement.

Before you got a chance to figure out where his voice had come from, your adorable boyfriend came charging at you with arms outstretched and an inhumanly large smile on his face. He scooped you up holding you so tightly that you had to teeter on your tip toes. While Jisung had a bit of a tiny frame, you never would’ve guessed from the scale of his hugs.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” He giggled out the words with a sense of disbelief, and he swung your body back and forth. “Oh my god I missed you sososo much.”

Another set of arms peacefully wrapped around you and Jisung and squeezed you in even tighter. In one of his hands, the cellophane from a bouquet of pink roses crinkled. “It’s so nice to have you back.” Changbin cooed, then reached to pat your head with his free hand.

You blinked back your happy tears the best that you could. The three of you broke, and you looked at both of your boyfriends right in front of you for the first time in what felt like forever. Changbin squeezed Jisung’s shoulder while the boy wiped a couple tears for the corner of his eyes.

You were biased, but they really were the most beautiful people in the world.

“I-I missed you both too, more than you can imagine.”

The two boys beamed, then presented you with your flowers.

“‘Hope you like pink ‘cause that’s the last color that they had left.” Changbin chuckled, and you nodded profusely.

“They’re gorgeous.”

You decided, after two months of not seeing the damn loves of your life, you deserved to kiss them--fuck the glares that you would get.

First you grabbed Changbin by the cheeks to press a smiling kiss right into his surprised mouth, and kiss him like you were a high schooler starved for attention that was forbidden to them. Still, your boyfriend grabbed your face back, rubbing tenderly into your own cheeks.

You winked to an equally shocked Jisung, “You next.”

You kissed the stutters away on his lips, and then ran giddy lips over his which cracked with a smile so wide it made it a little hard to kiss him. He wrapped both of his arms around you to pull you in close and you ruffled up his caramel blond hair the best you possibly could. Beside you, Changbin chuckled out proudly.

You had closed your eyes to kiss both of your boyfriends like they deserved. If someone had stared, well...you didn’t see it.

Jisung was out of breath after your parted, then pushed up his glasses in his surprise.

“That was....”

“--Lets get home!!” You shined with a smile, then took off in front of them. “Are you coming or not??”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Jisung decided not to subject you to his home cooking, regardless of the fact that you had said that you wanted to try it. You had ordered take-out, and ate it picnic style on the floor to your living room in front of the TV playing a movie that none of you payed attention to. Regardless of the fact that your jet lag had hit you like a truck, your pure adrenaline upon seeing them kept your eyes from becoming weary.

The normal questions had been asked: how are you classes, how is the food there, what are the people like, what is your apartment like, have you made friends etc. You asked Changbin about how his classes were going, and how Jisung’s part-time job at the café was and about the silly little things that you used to do as three, but they now had to as two. The consensus was that doing anything as two was strange and even a little awkward at times because they had gotten so used to having you around.

Changbin cleared the dishes, making space for you to make up your little pillow fort that you would do at times. “It felt like there was a piece missing from us. It was...really hard sometimes too.”

“It was for me too. Out there all alone...I had never realized that a bed meant for one person would be like, the saddest thing that there is on this earth.”

“Small bed no more!” Jisung piped, then proceeded to wrap both his arms and legs around you the best he could. “Also small shower no more.” He nuzzled into your chest.

One of the selling points of the apartment that you shared was actually the comically large shower that it came with. During the first few weeks after you had moved in, it was as if the three of you were physically incapable of taking a shower without the others being there. Changbin joked that it was as if they had made it just for the three of you in some kind of destined way.

“Hmmm well, I think that we should make use of that as soon as possible.”

Jisung let out a happy little hum in agreement then angled himself up to plant a couple quick kisses on your mouth and nose. Changbin threw down your array of pillows and other blankets, draping them over chairs to make a little tent like the three of you were toddlers hidden away in your secret place.

“Sungie sandwich!!!” Jisung suddenly gasped out, “Binnie come on!!”

Changbin scoffed, “I guess it has been a while...can’t say no to that.”

Jisung squealed and the two of you made space for your boyfriend to come slide himself on the other side and make a proper “Sungie sandwich.” He kissed careful lips into the crook of Jisung’s neck which made the other boy giggle out in a tizzy: not only was he sensitive there, but it would tickle him too. You reached your arms over to tangle your fingers up in Changbin’s dark locks which were just as soft as you remembered.

“This feels so amazing.” You sighed into Jisung who had crept his hands up your shirt.

“It does.” Changbin agreed. “We’re complete again.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Small bed no more was right.

Jisung patted the middle spot, wearing only a white tee and his boxers.

“Your spot awaits you princess.”

“Don’t mind if I do!”

Changbin sauntered over while he brushed his teeth, abandoning the idea of a shirt all together.

Your eyes widened, “...Bin--”

“--What?” He smugly smirked. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before?”

“N-no.”

Your other boyfriend scoffed, “He certainly knows that he’s hot, doesn’t he?”

“He sure does.” Changbin dished out a prideful wink.

With sarcasm laced in your voice, you turned to Jisung to say, “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that while I was gone.”

Changbin’s voice echoed from the bathroom “HE LIKED IT!”

Jisung waved him off, settling to beckon you under the thick and cozy comforter that you had daydreamed of more than once.

“Are you comfy?” He hushed.

“Mmhm! Comfiest I’ve been in months.”

Just as he always would, Jisung would wrap you up so tight that it might’ve been a little suffocating--but it wasn’t like you minded in the slightest. The top of his poofy hair smelled like grapefruits somehow, and you hadn’t realized how much you had missed it. The feeling of your bare legs intertwined, and there was nothing that came close to such a perfect feeling.

Your other boyfriend clicked off the light, then engulfed the both of you with his rather strong and intimidating arms. You knew for a fact that they were nothing but cuddly and harmless. Being like this with them was what you had missed most, and it was finally yours for the taking.

“Are you guys asleep yet?” Jisung whispered after approximately five minutes of silence.

“No,” Changbin murmured. “What is it?”

“I-I dunno, I can’t fall asleep, I just keep thinking...”

You flopped over to face him, “What is it Sungie? Everything okay?”

Your adorable boyfriend stammered, then shied under the comforter in the dark of the room. “I-I don’t know if now is the right time, but...” It was noticeable how his tone had changed; you and Changbin knew it well. Jisung’s pitch would raise and his voice would crack when he wanted something.

Changbin leaned over to click the light back on. “Sung, you don’t have to be so coy about it. I think that Y/n and I know you better than you know yourself.”

Jisung’s eyes widened in his embarrassment, “You what??”

Your headstrong boyfriend sighed, “Use your words Sungie.”

His cheeks turned rosy, then he peeped, “It’s just that it’s been a really long time and I can’t stop thinking about it, and...Bin and I didn’t really do anything for like a week cause--”

Your head whipped in Changbin’s direction, “What?”

Changbin nodded solemnly saying, “Let him finish.”

“--C-cause I wanted us to wait for when you came back so it could be like, extra special? Or...something like that.” He threw the blanket over his head. “It sounds so dumb when I say it out loud.”

You really didn’t deserve someone like Jisung. Not in this lifetime or the next. You felt your limbs practically turn to jelly to hug your shy boyfriend.

“It’s not dumb!! Not at all!! I think that it’s so sweet! You wanted to wait for me? Oh, baby...”

With the blanket pulled back, you held his glistening eyes with yours. He really was irresistible when he would get like this.

“I’m assuming that you wanna stop waiting, hm?”

Changbin joined you in leaning over the shiest of you three, then shrugged down the cotton of your loose t-shirt to paint kisses into your shoulder. In the chill of the room, the warmth contrasted beautifully.

“Yes or no Sungie? Because I defin--”

“--Yes! Uh--I mean, yes, but--only if you aren’t too tired or if you want to.”

“Sungie, how can I say no to you?” You bowed your neck to press loving little kisses into his lips which still tasted faintly of mint. He immediately give into you, grabbing out to hold your neck firmly as you did so. His hips squirmed slightly, as did his legs--he always was such an impatient baby.

Changbin scooched in closer to caress down your back as you filled your boyfriend with every single kiss that you had been waiting months to give him.

His voice was as soft as velvet, and full of his immense love for the two of you. Seeing both of you like this made him swell with such as sense of admiration, it was as if it was a high for him. “We’ll take care of you Sungie, we’d love to.”

Even from Changbin’s praises, Jisung’s whole body would shiver, and you could feel it on your tongue too when you had politely asked for him to allow you entrance.

Jisung set to work pulling your shirt up over your arms once you turned to Changbin to kiss over him roughly. He had liked it more that way: a collision of lips and teeth grazing over the softer parts of your mouth, gasps getting caught in between and the heat of tongues twisting as if you were as sweet as honey. As soon as you were rid of your shirt two sets of hands greedily crept up your body to twist and pull at your nipples which had hardened in seconds. Your head fell to Changbin’s shoulder while they teased and flicked at your sensitive buds until they hurt.

“She’s so pretty, isn’t she?” Changbin growled, then cradled your head to lay you down.

“The prettiest.” Jisung agreed, then hooked his fingers under the lacy part of your underwear that you might’ve worn with the purpose of them not staying on you for long. In return, you tugged at both of their waistbands for them to do the same. Cloth hit the bedside floor, and all that was left was Jisung’s shirt which you pulled off yourself. You only had a couple moments to look in the dim lighting of the room, but both of them had already dripped lightly with pearly drips of pre-cum and their hardening dicks throbbed against the mattress. Not only was it a heavenly sight to behold, but you knew that both of them were entirely for you.

Changbin leaned down to flick his tongue around your hardened bud, then used his hand to kneed at your other breast with his powerful grasp. Jisung pulled your face towards him with hungry little whimpers that tickled your bottom lip, so you returned the favor by pulling his with your teeth. He recoiled beautifully from the feeling, and you saw your prefect window to slither down his body and wrap your hand around his pink cock. At first, you grazed your thumb over his slit roughly.

“Did you miss my hand on your cock Sungie? Look at you...so hard for me, so worked up...do you want it that bad, baby?”

“Y-yes, p-please...”

Changbin kissed his way up your neck from your breasts sparkling from his saliva, then sucked love bites onto your collarbones and the soft parts of your neck. “Angel, I want to see you with Sungie’s dick in your mouth, can you do that?”

You nodded, reveling in Changbin’s instructions. There was something about being told exactly what to do that made you feel so pliable. Changbin knew it well. You then worked kisses down your boyfriend’s body, pausing for a moment to flick your tongue over his nipples in the way that made his whole chest flush with pink. He laughed out in his pleasure with an airy breath too. You kissed gently at first, teasing your lips over, then sucking harshly with a trailing of teeth. His back arched, and he let out a delightful “ah-fuck!”

You finished by peppering other little marks on his chest which faded from pink to violet in a matter of seconds.

“Babyboy, you wanna taste my cock too?” Changbin greedily rose to kneel, then pumped his fist with tiny trailing breaths.

Jisung’s eyes turned into full moons at the sight, then nodded excitedly while angling himself correctly. You and your boyfriend exchanged prideful little glances over the other’s eagerness. The pads of your fingers traced down Jisung’s thin frame, ghosting over his flaring abs and drawing little scribbles into his ribs. Your perfect position was set between this quivering thighs which welcomed you easily, and you took his deliciously pink cock in your hand to tease at him with thick stripes. You gathered saliva on your tongue so he could feel it, then used another hand to pump at him too.

Jisung flattened out his tongue to swirl it around his boyfriends angrily red tip and maintained eye contact as Changbin preferred. As the smallest boy dipped his head in closer, Changbin entangled his fingers with those gorgeous caramel trellises. He sighed out at the feeling of his cock hitting the back of Jisung’s throat, and groaned out lowly once he heard the other choke on it lightly.

“Fuck baby. Just like that..”

You then took in Jisung’s length as deeply as you could: and it was no easy feat. Where Changbin dominated in girth, Jisung made up for in length. The action sent Jisung whining helplessly on Changbin’s dick, which only drove the other boy further into his passion.

“You take me so well Sungie.” He cooed, and pulled out for Jisung to catch a few desperate gasps.

Your saliva gathered in the corner of your mouth, and you licked it up and down the sides of Jisung’s cock-- but only for a few moments. You swallowed him down, pushing down the back of your throat just as you had long learned how to do. Merely feeling the weight of him in your mouth sent your pussy throbbing and your legs twisting for some kind of sensation. Of course, Changbin had noticed.

“Open your legs sweetheart.”

You did as you were told, and his thick fingers came journeying through your soaked folds, and he toyed with your clit and slicked his fingers with your arousal. His index and middle finger circled around you: it was a sensation that you had dreamed of endlessly.

“Mm, Bin...” You moaned onto Jisung’s cock.

“Pretty pussy of yours must’ve missed this, hm? My fingers fucking your wet little cunt? I missed it too...”

You tried your best to maintain your strength once you had returned to sucking off Jisung’s dick, but you only seemed to unravel further. He rutted his hips into your mouth needily--an action which teased at your gag reflex, but you were stronger than that.

Jisung’s own slobber fell down the side of his neck which Changbin held, just so he could feel the way that he filled up his boyfriends throat. With his other hand, he dipped it further inside your pussy, fucking you slowly at first. You knew that he loved the way that your slick sounded on his fingers. In response, your helpless moans vibrated on your boyfriend’s dick.

“Y/n, I want your mouth too.” Changbin asked gravely with hooded and darkened eyes. You knew what you had to do next. His fingers slipped out from you, and you loathed feeling so empty, but you weren’t one to disobey him either.

Changbin made space for you to lay on your stomach next to Jisung and then tapped his wetted dick on your lips as well, leaving Jisung gasping next to you.

“Fucking show me how much you missed me.”

You took him in, and you had nearly forgotten how sizeable he really was. It was startling, and as soon as you took in his full length, you had to fight back tears over how thick he really was. Regardless, the way that he could stretch you out like this was purely addictive.

“Oh...fuck--baby...” Your boyfriends voice dropped several decibels. “My babies suck my dick s-so good don’t they?”

Jisung nodded in his wonder at you, and Changbin dipped his thumb into his mouth afterword. Jisung always did love the taste.

Changbin caressed your full cheek, “Don’t forget to share.”

You took a deep breath, then let Jisung take his turn again. As he did so, you resumed your work at jerking off his dripping tip, and he reached to slide between your folds with long fingers.

With both of your adoring glances, you and Jisung kissed and lapped up the sides of your boyfriend’s dick and his eyes rolled back at the ethereal sight.

“H-holy sh-shit--”

Your hips buckled once Jisung let his fingers plunge inside of you and high pitched mewls sent you clawing at Changbin’s hips for balance.

“W-wait...” Changbin pulled himself away, and you knew that he must’ve been practicing the best restraint he could. “Sungie, you wanna taste her pussy too? Taste how sweet she is?”

Jisung smiled widely, despite being a bit of slobbery and tear-stained himself.

“I’ve been waiting for months to!”

You looked to Changbin for approval.

“Sit on his face then sweetheart? Wouldn’t you like to ride his face for me?”

You nodded in your thrill, and the bedsheets crinkled under the sound of the three of you shifting your bodies back into the proper position.

As it often would, the windows to your room fogged with steam--even though it was a beautiful spring evening. Pillows were strewn everywhere, and some of them nearly fell off the bed. Nevertheless, you had never been cozier wrapped in the clean threads and with your sweating skin pressed against heated bodies.

Jisung firstly kissed at your wet lips, teasing and humming happily into them. He grabbed onto both of your thighs to open you further then pulled your folds apart to kiss directly on your bud--an action which sent you nearly screaming over how intense it all felt.

“You can be loud for us baby. There’s nothing to be scared of here.”

It was as if a switch had flipped within you, and each and every lap of Jisung’s tongue felt like the most euphoric sensation you had ever experienced. He looked utterly adorable under you with his pink and juicy tongue running stripes over your clit. Merely watching him like this was enough to bring you to your first orgasm.

“D-don’t stop S-sung...” You rolled your hips over his lips.

Changbin had snaked himself farther down Jisung’s body which glistened with a thin layer of sweat. He clicked the bottle of lube, then smoothed it over his length, finally aligning it over the smaller boy. Your hands grabbed out for something to hold onto: one of them within Jisung’s hair, and the other squeezing painfully into the headboard.

“Rough or slow Sungie?” Changbin laughed out wickedly.

“R-rough...” Jisung moaned onto your pussy, “H-hard...”

Changbin entered your boyfriend carefully, and both of them shuddered at the feeling. The room was full of all of your eroticism, and Jisung groaned out loudly at the connection. From the sounds your orgasm drew itself out too, and it was heightened even more when Jisung moved to pump his fingers deeply into you as well. He curved his fingertips in the way that grazed your cervix, and then sent you quivering pathetically over his face. Lower, Changbin dug his fingers into his boyfriends hips slamming into him without pause, and panting haphazardly.

“C-can yo-you cum for me??” Jisung whimpered in a way that was much too cute for his own good.

“Yes.” You answered, then fucked your hips over his plush lips and you clenched your teeth hard against your lip “Mm-fingers, Sung--please...”

Jisung did as he was told, and maintained his pace stimulating your g-spot then, and begging an orgasm out of your body. He himself whimpered like a puppy while he was fucked out. Had you not been focusing on your orgasm, you wished you could see it all happen.

“Ji--fuck--” Your hips violently shook, and you came with a searing heat that locked your walls tight around his fingers and dripped even further down your shaking thighs and splattered into his delicate features. It didn’t startle him at all, but he merely licked his lips free of your slick.

“B-Bin--” He gasped out, then you fell down in your aftershocks to watch the way that Changbin spread out your gorgeous boyfriend with sweat dripping down his chest and from his brow.

“Ride him, baby.” Changbin immediately ordered. “I want you to cum all over his dick, got it?”

With grabby hands, Jisung pulled you right into his chest once you had straddled him. He played with your nipples for a few fleeting moments as you got situated pushing his cock into your pussy still trembling from your last orgasm.

It was beautiful how he could fill you up like this. It was intimacy incomparable a closeness that only you had shared with him. In fact, he had actually been somewhat of a virgin when the three of you had met, and both you and Changbin were his first time. Knowing that he had only shared this part of himself with you and your boyfriend felt intoxicating in a way.

You flicked your hips over his length, and focused your strength on fucking him slowly compared to how relentless Changbin kept his pace at.

“I love you baby. Jisung, I love you so much.” You held his gaze.

Two tears fell from his cheeks--not out of sadness, but of his pure love for you.

He begged with a quivering lip, “Please kiss me.”

And you did. You kissed Jisung like he was as fragile as flower petals that could break with the smallest tear. You kissed his lips as sweet as candy and you kissed the last bits of your arousal away on the corners of his mouth.

Still, “Harder...” He begged, and your hips dipped lower and quicker over him.

“Want me to fuck you harder babyboy?”

Changbin threw his hands on your shoulders, then ran them down your spine to feel the way that you moved over Jisung’s dick.

“Want us to fuck you until you can’t say any more?” You tutted.

“Fuck, Sung, you feel so--”

“G-gonna make me cum-ngh!”

Changbin angled the boys hip up a bit further, and the sound of skin on skin filled the room.

You sang out the phrase, “~I didn’t hear you say it Sungie~”

Jisung’s face screwed up, and he gasped out loud enough for the neighbors to likely hear, but that didn’t matter in the slightest.

“Fuck me please.”

The thickness of the air in the bedroom clouded, and you fucked your beautiful boyfriend with your tightening walls as hard and as fast as you could, right until you brought yourself to the brink of another trembling orgasm, right over his dick. Changbin gifted a stinging slap to your ass then bit kisses into your shoulder right as you came undone for the second time, and Jisung’s eyes rolled to the back of his head once he came inside you at the very same moment. Your velvet walls tightened around his ribbons of cum inside and you collapsed against his gasping chest to warm him after his release.

Changbin set himself loose, groaning out loudly as he came too, and shook with delighted laughter that was mixed up in his happy little “oh’s.” and the hitch of his breath. His restless hands caressed every inch of your body that he could as he brought himself down, finally bowing down to kiss right into your shoulder blades and back. Jisung called out his boyfriend’s name too while he shook around him.

You coaxed yourself free of Jisung’s dick and Changbin wondered in the way that Jisung and made a creamy mess of your pussy. He then did the same watching how his seed spilled out of Jisung as well.

“Wow.”

The three of your sweating bodies clambered flat onto the mattress and the room fell quiet, leaving space for your breaths and the way that the spring evening sounded outside of your window: distant car horns, the hush of the breeze, the ebb and flow of the early arrival of cicadas.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asked the both of you with worried hands running over both of your sweating forms.

“Y-yeah. I am.” You smiled.

Jisung shied his flushed face with one of the bedsheets. “Me too.”

“I think...if you’d like, maybe the three of us could kind of, sorta, I dunno, stay connected for a little bit?” Changbin smoothed down the little hairs on your arm with the gentlest touch.

“If Y/n wants to?”

You exhaled peacefully into both of your boyfriends arms, and gave them a little hum to say yes. Changbin carefully wetted his dick with your slick, then guided himself into you pussy with his half hard dick, and it felt like a dream. Jisung too took a bit of lube in his hand as well, then pumped his dick with a shiver to then slide himself into your ass. The two of them swept over your body with light and fleeting kisses to your neck, shoulders, cheeks, nose and lips. You stayed the same: wonderfully full, and so close to them that it must’ve been unreal. While it hurt a little how they had stretched you out, you wiggled your hips still to feel even more of it. Your boyfriends sighed out at the feeling.

“Sweetheart, you do that any more and you’re gonna make us want to fuck you again.” Changbin scoffed.

“What if I want you to?” You traced the way that his deep brown hair curved over his ear. “What if I want you to fuck me like this...close...slowly...?”

“Sung?”

“If she wants to, I want to as well.”

Changbin held your hips firmly under the blanket, then started his slow thrusts into you with his dick that indulgently grew hard once more.

He whispered the promise over your lips, “We can do that for you baby.”

You don’t know how long the three of you had remained as such. Time became nothing of your concern as the night slipped on and both of them took every ounce of their time with you, slowly fucking up into your pussy and ass, the sounds of your slick renewed filled up the room. They brought out a couple more shaking orgasms from your core, each of them followed by careful kisses to soothe your shaking body.

“Such a good girl for us.” Jisung nibbled into your ear. His hand got tangled with the sheets too where he reached around to twist your nipples between his fingers.

“How do you want it baby? Do you want it inside?”

Changbin’s skin filled up your palm, then you slung a leg over his hip so he could hit your g-spot perfectly.

“P-please?”

“Of course. Sung?”

“--Mm-m’ close too.”

A few more moments of your symphonic moans, and you unfolded between them: one last orgasm that was so encompassing that you had slipped right into a space so safe, that you felt as if nothing in the world could touch you. Changbin finished off with unexpectedly adorable sounding grunt, and he throbbed within you to the tune of Jisung doing the same.

“Shit.” Jisung giggled, then nuzzled his head right into the nape of your neck.

“How was that angel?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

The three of you found solace in the skin on skin of it all: three people, three bodies that could be closer than two bodies ever could.

“Ready to clean off in our big-ass shower?” Jisung wiggled you in his giant hug.

“Small shower no more.”

“The problem is, who’s gonna get up first to get the water running?”

Condensation dripped down the windows, and the curtains blew softly with the spring air invading the room and carrying the smell of flowers and the mist lingering in grass.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Water dripped like rain over the pink of muscles and intermingled with the iridescent drops of soap bubbles which held little rainbows in and of themselves. Hair slicked to the sides of faces, and transparent streams coursed down the simple breaths on rising chests. Steam filled up your lungs, a reminder that it was all real.

You were here with them. It wasn’t some kind of dream that you had painted while in that room alone with yourself and the buzzing of a TV speaking in tongues that you didn’t know.

Even though they said nothing, but rather touched your body down, you could hear their thoughts like a melody.

They loved every bit of you, and it was written on their faces times two.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @julesinthesoop

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reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

week from hell (spencer reid/reader)

Title: week from hell

Request: yes! (Can I get a oneshot based off of Something I Need by OneRepublic? I really really love your writing and I'd love to see your take on that idea.) (requested by @probablynotaninja )

Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader

Category: angst, w/ sweet fluff for dessert

Content Warning: spencer’s pov, mentions of dying, swearing (if any), insomnia, very protective spencer, very realistic dreams/nightmares (which consist of loved ones dying), anxieties, talks about dying/death, vague referance to suicide (?), vague mention of drugs (Dilaudid), drinking, turning to alcohol in a time of need, knife and murder (but it’s not real) Word Count: 3,835

Summary: Spencer has one hell of a week after he has nightmares about the ones he loves the most, and after a close call on a case.

A/N: okay, no joke, i hadn’t heard this song before this request. So i listened to it and the first like i was like “IDEA!”. It made me very soft. So thank you very much for sending it to me. I hope you enjoy what I came up with! thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

It was amazing how breathtakingly fast I moved. I sat up, my body shaking like a leaf, yet was somehow sweating like I had run a mile. But all I did was sleep. And while I slept, I had a nightmare. A nightmare that consisted of all my loved ones being killed.

I looked down at the person sleeping beside me. They were curled up into my side, an arm thrown over my body like I was their comfort teddy bear. They slept like a rock like there was nothing wrong happening. When in reality, I was sitting beside them, having an anxiety attack because of a dream I had.

I glanced over my shoulder at the clock. Two in the morning. I hadn’t even been asleep for 2 full hours, and I have to wake up in 4 hours to get ready for the day. Who knows if I’ll go back to sleep? Probably not… It’d be one of those days where I needed a lot of coffee.

I carefully slipped out of the bed, pulling the blankets back over their body. They hardly stirred as they switched their positions. A small, yet sad, smile grew over my lips as I looked at them. I was envious of the way they were able to get comfortable and stay asleep. They slept through the whole night, and would probably sleep till their alarm went off at 9am.

I struggled as I quietly dragged my body from our room and across the apartment to the kitchen. My person’s cat was sitting on the window sill, his tail whipping back and forth as I walked past him.

“Morning, Snuffles,” I whispered once I was past them. Snuffles leapt off the window sill and followed me towards the kitchen. “You gotta be quiet… Our person is still sleeping.” I looked down at him once we were behind the closed door of the kitchen.

‘Mew,’ Snuffles meowed as he pawed at his food bowl. I looked at the silver bowl that still had food in it. The food was just pushed around the sides, leaving the middle of the bowl exposed. I blinked before grabbing a scoop of food for him.

“Now be quiet,” I chuckled lightly before scratching between his ears. Snuffles meowed again before walking past me and going to the food.

I quietly prepared things to make a pot of coffee. This would just be the pre-pot of coffee before I stopped at the cafe down the street for more coffee. Surely that won’t be dangerous in the end. It’s not like I’ve been doing this everyday for the last 15 years. My person would argue that this would probably be what brings me my demise.

Once the pot had finished brewing, and I prepared my mug with the coffee, I resigned to the living room. To keep myself busy for the next few hours, I read over case files that Emily needed help catching up on. It was no issue, I should be finished with it before it was time to get ready for the day.

I was surprised that the person in the next room stayed asleep. In my head, and ears, I thought I was being loud. But I suppose that was just me. Their health always worried me, even when they were perfectly healthy. Something was bothering me now though, and it was the stupid dream I had that woke me.

The five ‘o’ clock hour rolled around a lot quicker than I was expecting. Sure time always moves by slowly and properly and in the right order. But there was something about the last 3 hours that flew by fast. It was hard to say what it was though.

I finished reading over the last file before I got ready for the day. My person hardly stirred, again, as I pressed my lips to their forehead, wishing them a good morning and a day. They were lucid enough to return the sentiment, with the declaration of ‘I wish you didn’t have to go to work.’

Trust me… I know. I wish I didn’t have to go to work either

My venture to work was the same, as usual. I walked down the street to my favorite cafe, got my coffee- today, however, was different because I got more than my normal one coffee- and walked to the closest train station.

When I got to the office, I slowly walked towards my desk. Everyone was at their respective spots, easily telling me I was the last one to show up. Which was a rarity because I was usually one of the first to appear.

“Could you use a bit more coffee there, Reid?” Luke asked, watching as I set a carrier with 4 coffee cups on my desk. I looked over at him before picking one up.

“There is not enough coffee in the world that could help me with my problem.” I looked at my coffee with a deep sigh. Luke looked at me with a slightly worried crease in his brow.

“Is everything alright at home?” he asked as he looked down at the picture of me and my partner. My eyes followed his gaze and I smiled when I saw the photo.

That particular photo was taken at David’s house during a dinner party. I remember that day so clearly. Before the photo was taken, I was deep in conversation with Derek and Luke. My person was standing just behind me, their arms wrapped around my body as they listened into the conversation. It was Penelope who snapped the moment in time, calling our attention before briefly blinding us. It was one of my favorite photographs.

“Are you guys alright?” Luke quickly asked. I didn’t like how it felt like he was insinuating that something was happening between me and my person at home. Nothing was wrong between us. In fact, things couldn’t be more perfect. And they didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me. Actually, it wasn’t even me. It was my subconscious torturing me.

“Yeah, yeah…” I spoke before taking a long sip of one of my many coffees. My tone wasn’t very convincing, and I only knew that because of Luke. He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. “What? Everything at home is fine. I haven’t been sleeping. That’s all.” I shrugged before putting the paper cup back on the desktop.

“Have you talked to-” he stopped for a moment before nodding at the picture of my person on my desk. I looked over at it and shook my head. I didn’t want to worry them at all. Not with the torturous things I’ve been forced to see. “Nightmares?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled as I sat down. I ran a hand through my messy hair and shook my head. “They’re hyper-realistic too. Sometimes I don’t know whether they’re a dream or… Or the real thing,” I sighed as I tapped my fingertips on the desktop.

“Have you talked to anyone about it? Emily, Rossi, Derek…” Luke’s voice trailed off as he said my partner’s name. I looked up at him and shook my head.

“No, no. They’ll go away. They always do.” I shook my head as I looked back up at him. I thought back to when I first started this job, the nightmares were horrific. Derek Morgan was the first person I talked to, which led to Aaron Hotchner talking to me. It was for the better, to be honest. But then it got better when I met my person.

The nightmares are only happening because of the most recent case. Maybe I should talk to Emily… Maybe it’s time I took a break. That’d probably be what’s best for my mental health. I was due for a break anyway.

“How often have you been getting them? And is this a new thing?” “Uh… That one case, from a few weeks back... That was when they started. But only recently have they gotten worse… Including…” My words trailed off as I grabbed the frame.

“Do your dreams follow the case? Or are they different every night?” Luke leaned against my desk and looked down at me. I took a deep breath as I looked at the person’s picture in my hands.

“It depends, I suppose. Some nights they’ll follow the case… Other nights it’s a different case… Sometimes it’s,” I lifted the picture, ''instead of Nadie that I killed.” I struggled to get that last one out.

Even though I know I didn’t kill Nadie Ramos. But I guess my mind likes to make me think otherwise. The images of my person’s body lying on the ground, blood (their blood) splashed across their face, and the life no longer in their eyes flashed in my mind, nearly causing me to drop the frame. I just nearly caught myself as the frame hit the side of my desk.

“You should talk to Emily about that. Even if you think they’ll go away. There might be an under-lying issue there,” Luke’s voice dropped to a whisper as he spoke. I swallowed roughly and looked up at him.

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll do that.”

I didn’t do that.

Little did I know that’d be the beginning of my week from hell.

{***}{***}{***}

My eyelids felt heavy. I struggled to keep them open while Emily delivered the briefing. So I pretended to be reading the file on the table in front of me, when in actuality I had fallen asleep.

Sleep and I had become strangers. I couldn't remember the last time I got a good night’s rest. That was because the dreams had moved on from the team, leaving them alone and allowing them all to live. My dreams graduated to my partner. Every night for the last 4 nights I’ve jerked awake, with the image of them dead ingrained in my head. And whenever I closed my eyes, their lifeless eyes looked back at me.

So instead of sleeping, I sat in bed, reading while also looking at the sleeping person beside me. I needed to make sure they were actually just asleep.

“Wheels up in 20… You’re all excused. Uh, but, Spencer, a word,” Emily spoke as she looked right at me. I jumped before looking back at her.

“Yeah, yeah,” I whispered before folding the file shut and sitting up in my chair. The other members of the team filed out of the room. JJ and Luke both looked at me with worry in their eyes before leaving. JJ figured out something was wrong 3 days after Luke and I talked. Her concern was genuine and to be expected.

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Emily asked as she sat beside me at the round table. I swallowed roughly as my eyes met her. It would be useless to try and lie to her about this. Emily and I have known each other long enough that even if she wasn’t one of the best profilers I know, she’d know when I’d be lying. But it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

“Yeah, yeah… We’re moving… So we’re staying up late pack-”

“Spencer, I know you’re not moving,” Emily cut me off. I stared at her as I brought my hand to rest on the table top. A certain anxiety grew in my chest and it felt difficult to breathe. I don’t know why I was having such bad anxiety about this. People have nightmares. It’s not unusual. “Is everything at home okay? You guys aren’t fighting, are you?”

I don’t know why everyone just assumed that there was something wrong at home, or why my person and I were fighting.

“No! No, we’re fine. We’re more than fine. In fact it’s not even us that’s the problem. It’s me,” I sighed before pushing a hand through my hair. Emily looked at me with a raised brow and worry on her face.

“Is everything okay?”

“We went on a case a few weeks back. And it’s triggered some bad memories for me,” I half lied. Although, there was a little bit of truth to my words. The dreams about Nadie Ramos bring up some bad thoughts.

“Such as?”

“Uh, well… It’s not just memories. The nightmares I’m having are what’s keeping me awake. Sometimes they’re about the team… But most of the time they’re about…” My words trailed off again.

“I see,” Emily whispered. Her eyes dropped down to my hand, causing me to look at it. My hand was trembling as if it were a small chihuahua, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

“The ones that I get the most are from the day Nadie Ramos died… But it’s not Nadie…” I looked up at her face as I spoke. Emily looked at me and nodded. “I know I didn’t kill her. But it doesn’t help that I saw myself kill her.”

“Spencer,”

“Listen, everything you’re about to say, I’ve heard it from Hotch, Gideon, Derek, and even Luke. I know. They’re just nightmares. They’ll go away. I just need to… I don’t know.”

“Do you want to take some time off?” Emily had a certain steadiness to her words that frightened me a little bit. As if I had a choice. She was only asking to make me think I had a choice, but in the end I did not.

Maybe a break was what I needed. I could spend time with my person and not think about work. We could go on a small trip to New York, and get Penelope to watch Snuffles. My person would probably enjoy that.

“I think I’d quite like that,” I whispered with a nod. Emily swallowed roughly before resting a hand on my knee.

“We can work that out. That’s okay.” She nodded.

{***}{***}{***}

Everything was moving in slow motion. My vision was fuzzy as I hastily reached for a knife. The person below me wouldn’t stop fighting me, even though I was holding their body down.

“Spencer! Spencer, stop!” their shouts had no effect on me as I lifted the knife above my head. My eyes twisted shut as I slammed the knife down into their chest. It didn’t kill them instantly like I had hoped.

They lifted up their hand and grabbed my wrist, causing me to look down at their face with pure frustration. Blood was dripping from their lips, and I could see life slowly slipping from their eyes. Their grip on my wrist was slowly slipping.

“Stop this! Stop!” Their voice was weak. It was useless for them to fight, they should just give up.

When their hand fell from my wrist, allowing me to drop the knife back into their chest. This time their fight was gone, all they were doing was saying my name.

“Spencer?” A voice came from behind me. My body jerked awake, the book in my hand falling to the ground and the blanket around me slipping to the couch. Did I really fall asleep on the couch?

My question was quickly answered when my eyes caught a small glass half-filled with an amber liquid and the bottle to the amber liquid beside it. It was hard to say just how much I had... But I can easily say I think I drank too much. It was an unfortunate temporary crutch, and vice, I entrusted too much in a time like this. It was better than an older vice I could turn to. But I’m better than that now.

I swallowed roughly before looking over my shoulder, finding my person standing in the doorway of our room. A blanket was wrapped around their body. And they stared at me, the exhaustion in their eyes was mildly concerning. It was probably my fault too. In fact, it was my fault.

“What’s… Why are you out here?” They asked as they stepped closer to me. I looked up at them, watching as they moved closer to the couch.

“I, uh… I couldn’t sleep. So I came out here to read,” I replied as I looked down at the book on the ground. The cover of ‘The Narrative of John Smith’ mocked me from its place on the ground. It didn’t belong on the ground, it should be on the shelf or the coffee table.

“It looked like you were asleep to me,” my person laughed as they sat beside me. I looked away from the book and back towards them. “Did something at work?”

“You could say that,” I whispered with a shrug. My gaze dropped from their face and to their hands. The response I gave wasn’t a total lie. I mean, work does play a part in my nightmares. But there’s more to that.

“Do… Do you want to talk about it?” they asked, finally moving their hands from their blanket and out to hold mine. I sighed deeply as I kept my eyes on their hands. They anxiously pulled and twisted their fingers as they awaited my answer. It was my fault that they were anxious.

“I had this dream a couple of nights ago…” I stared, my voice was low. I wrecked my mind, trying to find the words that I wanted to say and the order I wanted to say them in. “A couple nights is an… understatement.”

“Little bit longer?”

“Yeah, they’ve been happening for the last few weeks. Just this week they started getting bad.” I pressed a hand to my face, rubbing my eyes. “It was so bad. I actually scared myself awake. I can’t remember the last time I had a dream that bad… And that’s really saying something.” I dropped my hand to my lap and looked back at my person.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to remember.” They shook their head. I smiled as my eyes landed back on their face. “What was it about?” they asked. My smile fell away as I remembered the dream.

“Well, it was… a lot of them are about the team… And they keep dying because of me. And then more of them are about you… And it was you instead of Nadie.” My voice shook as I spoke. Tears burned down my cheeks and it was so hard to stay grounded.

“Spence,” they spoke, reaching out a hand and resting it on my knee. That’s what helped keep me here...

“And the ones with you are always the worst. The first time it happened, I woke up at two in the morning and stayed awake, watching you sleep... Because I was scared… I swear to God I was going to lose my mind,” I whispered. My person looked at me with worry and fear in their eyes. I sighed again and shook my head. “Then I had the worst week of my life. At first, you didn’t notice. But you always know.”

“Well when you’re with someone for long enough, you begin to pick up on their sudden mood changes and when they’re not sleeping in the same bed as you,” they laughed at me. I smiled and shook my head. Even though it was a dark moment, they knew I needed the laugh.

“You know me so well it was my turn to laugh. I squeezed their hand before bringing it to my lips, carefully pressing my lips to their knuckles. They smiled back at me before holding both my hands with theirs.

“Well just call me your… Safety net…” They smiled before moving closer to me.

“Yeah… Safety net… Always there to catch me when I fall… Or always there to talk me off the ledge.” I whispered that last part. They looked up at me with concern in their eyes. I swallowed roughly, not ready to have the conversation about that last comment.

“We’re getting really off-topic,” they laughed after a moment of silence. I was glad they didn’t want to talk about that last part now. It was more a ‘for later’ conversation.

Their laughter made me safe. Safer in that moment than I have in the last week, month even. That’s funny, isn’t it? That a person’s laugh could make me feel safe? I wonder if they knew that too. It was something I needed too. Something to make me feel safe. And it was another person’s laugh.

“Well off-topic in a way that’s still on topic,” I began rambling. They smiled and shrugged, silently telling me I was right. “I’ve been…” My words trailed off as I looked back at the coffee table and the glass of whiskey. I could still taste the bitterness of it on my tongue as I stared at the glass. “I’ve been drinking… Just to clear my mind of the dreams,” I sighed again, “I’m just afraid, I guess.” I looked up at them.

“That’s okay. I trust you enough to know when to stop.” They blinked at me in such an innocent way. Trust. They trusted me. And I’m having dreams about killing them… But they still trust me. “Maybe there’s a meaning behind your dreams.”

“You know I’m not one for dream analysis,” I breathed out a laugh. They looked at me with a raised eyebrow and small smile before shaking their head.

“Maybe… If I keep dying in your dreams… it could be because you want to die with me. I know I want to die with you,” they nervously laughed as they looked down at our hands. “If I’m only going to die once, I want to die with you.” They smiled softly.

“It’s just… It’s killing me watching it happen over and over behind my eyelids, and it feels like there’s nothing I can do. What if I can’t keep you safe? I’m afraid of… What’s this all for? It’ll end up being nothing in the end.” Not keeping my person safe was one of my biggest fears. So watching them die over, and over, and over again is actually killing me.

“Oh, Honey,” they whispered, “you don’t have anything to be afraid of… I’ll be safe if I’ve got you. And you’ll be safe if you’ve got me. You got that, Chump?” they asked as they softly shoved my shoulder. I laughed lightly before nodding.

“Yeah, yeah I got that,” I whispered as I looked up at them with a small smile.

"You wanna go lay down?" They asked, looking at me with tired eyes. I smiled as I stared at their face. "I'll let you be the little spoon."

“You really know how to bargain,” I laughed, watching as they stood up. Their hand was stretched out to me, waiting for me to take it into mine. “Little spoon…” I smiled at them before resting my hand into theirs. They returned the smile as they pulled me to my feet. “I think you have me sold.”

“I better have you sold. You know I love being the little spoon,” they muttered as they dragged me back to our bedroom.

if you want to be a part of a taglist or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

#shadow writes stuff #masterlist #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fan fic #criminal minds fan fic

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ptergwen · 4 years

Text

let’s just pretend

w/c: 3.5k

warnings: rom com references, drinking, and a little bit of angst

summary: you cope with your feelings for peter by getting drunk on halloween

a/n: ok i really really love this and i loved writing it too? it’s the first like original idea i’ve had in a while so maybe that’s why but yeah i hope y’all enjoy and that this puts you in a halloweenish mood :-)

there’s something about fall that makes you nostalgic. the same images pop into your head whenever you hear the word october. pumpkin patches, colorful leaves, and hot coffee. it reminds you of being a kid. only when you were a kid, all you could think about this time of year was what you were going to be for halloween.

you’d spend weeks getting your costume together and coordinating with all your friends. trick or treating was literally the only thing that mattered. if you wanted to get good candy, you had to have a good costume.

the high school version of candy is alcohol. everyone just goes to parties so they can drink the whole night. no one even dresses up usually. you personally would rather have chocolate than cheap beer. your whole friend group agrees on that.

that’s why you decided to throw your own party this year. anyone who misses the old halloween can come hang out. so far it’s only peter, mj, ned, betty, and the rest of the decathlon team coming. betty invited everyone for you. she also asked liz, but she’s going to flash’s party. he only gets so many people because his parents are never home and don’t care if he raids the liquor cabinet. whatever.

you’re out finding something to wear with peter and mj a few hours before it starts. ned and betty already picked their costumes. she’s going as an angel, and he’s going as the devil. you think they should switch. they’re out shopping for snacks while the three of you hit up spirit halloween.

mj groans every single second there’s silence, and peter keeps getting scared by the motion sensor decorations. he eventually ends up having to go somewhere in the store that doesn’t have any. so, it’s a lot.

“why don’t you be a vampire?” mj asks in her fake interested voice, taking a pair of fangs off the rack in front of her. you scoff. “i think i did that in sixth grade.” she puts them back with a huff. “witch?” she’s just suggesting every costume she sees so you can get out of here. her lack of enthusiasm makes you want to take longer.

“no.”

“zookeeper?”

“eh.”

“what about cat in the hat?”

“mj, what? no.”

“uh... school girl?”

“ok, that’s just offensive.”

“you’re right. why do they have that?” she eyes the costume suspiciously. you cover it up with a random cloak that fell onto the floor. you’re never going to find anything at this point. maybe it’s a sign you’re too old for this. just when you’re about to lose all hope, peter comes over.

he’s holding up the plaid yellow skirt and blazer cher wears in clueless. it’s one of the most iconic rom com outfits. you grab it with a gasp, peter giving you a knowing smile. “oh my god! wait, where did you find this?” “they have a section with movie stuff.” there’s a han solo costume in his other hand.

you throw an arm around his neck for a quick hug. peter squeezes you and chuckles when he pulls away. it gets a sigh out of mj.

“sure you don’t wanna be the guy she ends up with?” she elbows peter’s arm. the two of you share a disgusted look. “josh? ew, he’s her ex stepbrother,” you dismiss her. “they’re, like, related,” peter adds. mj rolls her eyes almost to the back of her head and starts to walk away. “someone needs to unplug both of your tv’s.” you and peter follow after her.

of course she would suggest a couple’s costume. she was probably trying to make you both get weird. you’re always being teased for spending so much time together. even your parents and may make little comments about it. you can’t help the fact that you have almost everything in common.

peter is the only person your age who doesn’t try so hard to be cool. when you’re with him, you can be the biggest nerd and wear fluffy pajamas and play with legos. it’s a judgement free friendship.

you’ll admit you’ve wanted it to become a judgement free relationship. there’s no way he doesn’t feel your heart beating against him when you cuddle during movie nights. he has to notice your goofy smile whenever he calls you a nickname.

but, it could all be platonic in peter’s mind. maybe he sees you as more of a sister. that would make josh the perfect costume to go with you as cher.

you shutter and try to push the idea out of your mind for the rest of your time at spirit halloween.

it’s almost time for the party to start when you get back to your house. your parents let betty and ned in to start setting up on their way out. they’re going for dinner so they aren’t around to embarrass you. you have until midnight, then there’s nothing you can do. that gives you four hours.

mj is changing into the coraline costume you made her get, which she actually doesn’t hate. betty is helping you do some last minute decorating. peter and ned are putting out snacks. it’s a really good system you have.

“love the the plaid, y/n. you look so fetch!” betty compliments in between throwing fake cobwebs over your couch. you snort and finish stringing up some lights. “wrong movie, but thanks.” “oh. oops,” she shrugs and gets back to cobwebbing. “peter found it for me.” all the lights are up, so you go to plug them in. betty giggles on your way over.

your living room has an orange glow to it now. dusting your hands off, you admire your work. the moment of admiration ends when you notice how betty is looking at you. “what?” “peter found it for you,” she repeats suggestively. “when he was getting his costume, yeah,” you say like it’s nothing because it is nothing.

“so, what i’m hearing is he wanted to see you in a skirt.” you furrow your eyebrows at her. “what? no, he just-“ she wiggles her own eyebrows at you. you’re going to start sweating if you talk about this any longer. too aware of yourself now, you pull down your skirt and trudge over to the stairs. “i’m gonna go check on mj.”

you’re in the middle of convincing her she looks great and to leave your room when everyone calls your name downstairs.

“what?” you shout back from behind the closed door. “you should get down here.” it’s only peter this time. mj widens her eyes at you, but you’re gone before she can say she isn’t wearing this again.

you make your way down the stairs. the three of them are huddled in front of the door. “is someone here?” you mouth, ned looking off to the side awkwardly. they all move out of the way so you can see who it is. it’s flash. you’re obviously surprised to see him at your house, especially since he’s supposed to be having his own party right now.

“um, what are you doing here?” you try not to sound mean. “didn’t you invite the whole decathlon team? i’m on it.” you’d forgotten about that. peter says he’s only an alternate. flash side steps past you to get inside. you didn’t say he could come in. he heads straight to the chip bowl on your living room coffee table. you’re left shaking your head in pure confusion.

“dude, kick him out,” ned whispers to you. you wave your hand dismissively and walk over. he’s kicking his legs up on the table when you get there. “dope outfit. you look good.” he winks and crunches on a tostito. peter is clenching his jaw, but no one sees. “why are you in my house, flash?” you push the bowl away from him. “oh, yeah. my parents came home from vegas early.”

mj finally gets downstairs, squinting at whatever is going on with you while she walks over to everyone else. “i thought we could combine parties.” flash eyes your friends in a way you don’t like. “all your guests are pretty much here, so don’t worry about space.”

you look back at peter to see what he thinks. he shakes his head no. betty is nodding her head so fast you’re pretty sure she’s going to get whiplash. ned agrees with whatever she thinks, and mj doesn’t care. majority rules. plus, you could use one of flash’s playlists to liven things up. how bad could it really be?

“text everyone my address.”

people are flooding your house in the next fifteen minutes. like, your entire grade might be here. flash hooks his phone up to your speakers and blasts his songs. people grab fistfuls of candy and dance around. you’re running low on soda, but one guy brought extra drinks. alcoholic drinks, which you’re uneasy about. that was a big reason why you wanted to have your own party in the first place.

you don’t want to be a lame host, so you let it slide. a girl is sitting on top of your kitchen counter making out with someone. people are yelling so loud you can’t make out a single conversation. this is all going on and yet somehow, the most surprising thing is that they came in costume. some are more casual, like cat ears and lifeguard hoodies. it still counts.

feeling a little bit lost in your own house, you search for peter. he’s sitting on the top stair just watching what’s going on. you get his attention by throwing a mini packet of sour patch kids at him. he catches it, grinning when he realizes you did that. “i love these.” “good. they were the only ones left.” you take a seat next to him and scratch at the material of his vest for emphasis.

“i can’t believe you said yes to him.” peter opens the sour patch kids. the first one is yellow, so he offers it to you. sharing food with him always works because you each seem to like what the other doesn’t. “neither can i, but i think betty would’ve actually hurt me if i didn’t,” you joke while chewing. he rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. “please. she’s too nice.”

you lean your head on peter’s shoulder and grab another gummy. he pokes your arm in protest. “this bag is small. get your own.” you’re nuzzling your cheek against him. “i told you they’re gone.” he’s about to put an arm around you when someone screams downstairs. you quickly sit up.

“i’m gonna go see what the hell that was. i’ll find you later?” peter does his best to hide his disappointment. “yeah, of course. good luck.” you clench your teeth and run down the stairs. this is somehow flash’s fault.

it’s been an hour and a half, and peter is nowhere to be seen. the chaos was just that someone really liked the song that was playing. it didn’t take you long to figure that out. when you went to tell peter, he was gone. you’ve looked everywhere for him since, except the backyard.

a pretty big group of people is out here either playing catch or talking. someone also brought a case of beer outside. you spot mj huddled up by the fence with a bottle. it doesn’t necessarily surprise you. it’s weird to see, either way.

“have you seen peter?” you walk up to her. she uses the bottle to gesture somewhere. he’s in the middle of a conversation with liz. your entire body feels like it’s collapsing into itself. it didn’t cross your mind she would be coming even when the party moved to your house.

she’s nice and all. you don’t have any issues with her. not that she knows about, at least. peter had the biggest crush on her for about a month, then it fizzled out. that’s what he told you. unless, he said that to save face.

you’re speechless. mj figured you would be. she gives you a sympathetic smile and holds out her beer. “yep. drink up.” your instincts tell you to take it, so you do. she heads back inside and leaves you alone with your thoughts. that’s not good for you. the only to way to get rid of them is by chugging the rest of this bottle.

you’ve never had your own drink before, and technically you aren’t now. this is still the most alcohol you’ll ever have in your system. before you can change your mind, you take a generous swig. it’s bitter. you don’t hate it as much as you expected to, though.

your eyes land on liz touching peter’s shoulder. that inspires your next big gulp of beer. you finish off the rest, and it hits you fast. you’re understanding why this is such a popular vice. you don’t feel anything but how tipsy you are. light and floaty. you decide to stumble back into the kitchen and find out what other drinks people brought.

the bright color of your costume catches peter’s attention. he was wondering where you were. excusing himself from liz, he follows you in. you bump into betty on your way to the punch bowl someone filled. she’s holding a red solo cup with the mystery liquid. both of you buzzed, you laugh and grab her arm.

“sorry. s- sorry.” you’re squeezing behind her, her angel wings brushing against your face in the process. you have to weave through everyone to make it to the drink table. peter meets you there when you’re getting a cup. he’s shocked.

“y/n?” smiling lazily, you take a sip. “hey, peter. pete.” the sober voice in your head tells you to stop talking. he probably shouldn’t know you’re drunk. then again, your cup gives it away. “y/n, have you been drinking?” he sounds concerned. everything is funny to you right now. you giggle out a “yes.”

peter doesn’t want to be that person, but you’re not acting right. he reaches for your drink. you pull it away too abruptly, and some of it spills onto the floor. “you... you’re so...“ you start losing your balance. “woah.” peter wraps an arm around your waist to steady you. he takes the drink out of your hand and sets it on the table.

frowning, he throws your arm around his shoulders so he can help you get upstairs. “come on, y/n/n.” you don’t argue this time. you’re at the part of being drunk where it doesn’t feel good anymore. peter holds you close to his side and walks you out of the kitchen. he stops to talk to ned for a second.

“hey, man. y/n’s parents are gonna be home soon. could you get everyone out?” he says into his ear. “why can’t she do it?” peter moves out of the way so he’s not blocking you. ned sees. you’re completely faded. “oh, shit. is she okay?” he whisper yells. “i’m gonna take care of her.” “i’ll tell everyone to go.” peter presses his lips into a tight smile, then he’s taking you up to your room.

you flop down onto your bed face first. peter shuts the door behind you. “you okay?” he chuckles, you nodding with your face smushed into the comforter. he’d think it was cute if you weren’t piss drunk. gently nudging you, he moves you so you’re on your back.

“let’s get you out of this.” “ooh, betty was right. you do like me in a skirt,” you giggle and bat your eyelashes at him. he huffs. “no, i mean you have to put on pajamas.” you’re pouting now. “you don’t like me in a skirt?” after going through your drawers, he comes back over with a big t-shirt and fuzzy pants. “i never said that.”

you grin again and grab them from him. “ha.” “do you need help changing?” he sits at the edge of your bed. you’re still laying down. he’s not sure you can handle getting up. “no. don’t be creepy,” you say completely serious. peter has to remind himself you’re drunk. “you were the one who thought i wanted you naked, but ok.”

making peter close his eyes, you peel the costume off your body. you got pretty sweaty. you kick everything onto the floor and start putting on your pajamas. your head gets stuck in an arm hole by accident, so peter has to fix that. the rest is fine. he’s about to bring you into the bathroom to brush your teeth, but you face plant into his lap. you’re out.

the next morning, you wake up feeling like ass. your breath is hot and tastes disgusting. your head is pounding. you could throw up. you’re not even sure how you ended up in your bed. then, you notice peter sitting at your desk. he must have helped you in.

a vague memory of him tucking you under the covers while you whined comes back to you, along with a few others. one of them is of him and liz. the whole reason you did this to yourself.

“hey.” your voice comes out hoarse. “hi.” peter nods and points to your night table. there’s a fresh glass of water. you drink it all down as fast as humanely possible, a hand on your heart. it doesn’t phase him after what you did last night. you set the empty glass down and pat the spot next to you. peter sits by your side.

he’s still dressed as han solo, but his vest and belt are sprawled out on the floor. the boots are under your desk. he actually stayed all night for you.

“i think i’m hungover.” you rest your head against his arm. his body relaxes. “you didn’t drink that much. mj said she gave you half a beer,” he almost laughs, you groaning. “that means i’m a lightweight.” “for now.” your arm wrapping around his, you look up at him.

“sorry you had to deal with me. am i in trouble?” “nah, your parents don’t know. we cleaned everything up before they got home.” he lightly pats the top of your head with two fingers. you squeeze your eyes shut when he does it. “you did? thank you so much, wow.” peter nods and smiles for a second.

he lays his back against the pillow on his side. “let’s just pretend that never happened.” “you’re good at pretending,” you mumble to yourself. you’re not as quiet as you think because peter hears it. “um, what?” you feel too woozy to come up with a cover. letting out a breath, you take your head and hands off of him.

“i saw you talking with liz.” “she wanted to know if i could lead decathlon practice next week. she’s not gonna be in school,” he says slowly, not getting it. “why?” having to spell it out is making you frustrated. “didn’t you say you don’t like her anymore?” “yeah, i don’t.”

“so, why was she being all... touchy?” the jealousy is clear in your voice. peter shrugs. “that’s how liz is. i still don’t get why it matters.” you ease yourself to sit up and turn to face him. those three words you’ve been meaning to tell him are on the absolute tip of your tongue. they’re about to come out.

then...

“i like you, y/n.”

peter says them for you.

you’re so surprised you nearly vomit for real. or, it could be the possible hangover. almost a minute has gone by when you realize you’ve been sitting there with your mouth hanging open. you swallow your spit. “you... you do?” “a lot. i kept trying to tell you, but there was never a good time.” his voice is softer now.

“i realized after homecoming. i wished i went with you instead of...” he doesn’t have to finish the sentence. you nod, a small smile spreading across your face. peter’s eyes are so hopeful. “i like you, too. a lot.” your gaze trails down to his lips.

“i’d kiss you if my breath didn’t stink.” “i’ll let you owe me one.” he’s fully grinning now, and both of you laugh. they’re the kind of laughs you do because you’re so happy you don’t know what to say.

peter presses his lips to your temple, your eyes fluttering closed. “get some more sleep. i’m gonna ask you out when you wake up,” he mumbles against your hair. you grab his hand that’s resting on the comforter. “can you stay with me?” “of course.”

he lays down next to you. you pull back the covers so he can get under them. your head is resting on his chest, an arm around his torso. both of his hug your waist. you’re instantly comfortable cuddled up in his embrace. you drift off to sleep with a smile.

this feels like such a dream. it’s the exact type of situation you’d make up in your head. but, it’s real. peter is still holding you when you wake up. he’s not going anywhere.

#tom holland #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #peter parker smut #tom holland x reader

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bebepac · 3 years

Text

Pop’s 🌎 World

This is a very special Mia’s 🌎 World. It’s kind of a stand alone, as you could have not read the previous series and know what’s going on here. It’s about a father’s love for his daughter. But if you are curious to go on a binge read:

Book One: Pop’s Place

Book Two: Mia’s World

I’m also participating in @wackydrabbles prompt # 91 picked by @ofpixelsandscribbles “I’m worried about you.” which will appear in bold.

Original Post Date: 04/20/21 at 7:03PM EST.

The Book: TRR (this is typically a crossover, but none of the crossover characters appear in this chapter)

Pairing: Mia x Jaiden (TRR MC x M!OC)

Word Count: 1976

Warnings: Pops laying on all kinds of Daddy Fluff. Brief mention of pregnancy complications, with no specific or graphic detail.

Summary: A glimpse into the past, present and future of Pops. We will be getting to know, the softer side of Pops Jones.

A/N: Writing is truly one of the ways that I have dealt with a lot of unsettling feelings I’ve had over the years, and this one is very cathartic for me. I never had the best home life growing up. Pops is the personification of the father figure I wish that I had growing up in those more formative years. He does remind me a bit of my Grandfather, but he passed away when I was young. So I write my Mia having the strong base that I wish I had. And maybe some things would have turned out differently.

A/N2: I don’t own the rights to the poem “I Trust You’ll Treat Her Well” by Dan Valentine which the words will be bold and italic throughout this episode. I did modify a few words to make it representative to Mia and her family, as Mia does not have blue eyes and light brown hair.

Song Inspiration for this Episode: I Loved Her First by Heartland

I don’t own the rights to the music.

Jaiden and Mia were staring at each other in awe as if they were in their own little private universe.

Tears welled in Pop's eyes as he watched Mia.

Pops never thought he was super sensitive until that moment. But seeing Mia, his baby girl, slow dance with Jaiden in her wedding dress, tore his heart to pieces, in a good way. Together Gloria and Pops had raised a beautiful, intelligent, strong young woman, who had found the love of her life.

Their very first dance together as husband and wife was breathtaking, and the newly married couple had nothing but smiles and a few tears for each other, and whispered sweet nothings in each other's ears.

Maybe not so sweet.... as whatever Mia had whispered caused Jaiden's cheeks and ears to flush a rosy pink, as he gently tugged at his collar a bit. 🍋🍋

"She picked a good one, Pops. He'll take care of her. He always has." Gloria whispered in Pops ear.

"I know. It doesn't make it easier. I loved her first."

Pops stood before them with a smile. Since they were done with the formal pictures, Pop's tie was completely gone, and the first few buttons of his dress shirt were unbuttoned. Pops was a simple man. But his feelings about that day were anything but simplistic. Pop's soul was a storm of emotions inside his heart: happy, melancholic, and bittersweet, because not only had he given his daughter away to be married, but he was also gaining a son, whom he loved dearly.

His eyes met with Mia's from across the room. She smiled at him, but as he refocused on her, he saw the little girl that loved to play dress up in Mommy's clothes and makeup.

Clearing his throat, Pops began to recite the poem that he picked for today. His confident voice was already shaking as he gazed across the room at his little MJ, his eyes already beginning to tear up.

"Dear World,

I bequeath to you today one little girl… in a crispy dress...with two brown eyes… and a happy laugh that ripples all day long...and a flash of black hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well."

He never knew the person who would completely change his whole entire world, his heart was a little bouncing baby girl that weighed seven pounds and twelve ounces when she was born.

When he found out Gloria was pregnant, Kelvin wanted a boy. That's all he thought about. Someone to play ball with, and fish with. He got the shock of his life when he heard those three words. It's a girl.

Mia was born a week before Christmas. Gloria went into labor while they were at a Christmas party neither one wanted to attend. Labor was a fitting excuse for the pair to leave early. The one time in Mia’s life she showed up early to benefit her parents.

Gloria’s due date was Christmas Day.

When he first saw Mia's big brown inquisitive eyes, he knew she would be special. And Mia was, and she was the light of his world.

Mia’s first word was Pop. The reason everyone called Kelvin “Pops” was because of Mia. When Mia started talking she said it repeatedly. And it stuck with EVERYONE!

Mia was definitely a Daddy’s girl.

Mia took her very first steps following behind Pops. He had walked into the kitchen to make Mia a snack, when he glanced up from the counter seeing her toddling towards him.

"Pops!" Mia exclaimed enthusiastically as she took her slow and deliberate steps towards him.

Pops immediately knelt, opening his arms smiling brightly at her.

"Come to Pop Pops."

Mia made it to his arms. He picked her up and spun her around planting kisses, and raspberries on her cheeks and tummy.

He wanted his little MJ to stop growing.

Even though he loved Mia dearly, Pops thought about the possibility of them having another child. He thought then having one of each would be perfect.

But sadly the lightning never struck again for them.

Gloria sat on the side of the bed in tears.

“We weren’t even trying when we got Mia, and now that we are…. Why isn’t it happening?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we just got it perfect on the first try, my beautiful Morning Glory.”

“I know you want a boy Pops.”

“I wanted our child Gloria. Mia is our baby. I wouldn’t trade a thousand little boys for our Mia.”

He wiped Gloria’s tears.

“I’m worried about you.”

“I feel like I'm failing you.”

“You’re not, you gave me Mia. She’s more than we could have ever asked for.”

Mia had asked several times for a baby brother or sister. Until a sweet family with a little dark haired boy moved next door.

Daniel and Mia were inseparable.

“Prim and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good bye” and walk with little lady steps into the school house.”

It was Pops that cried the first day of school when he waited with her at the bus stop. They had always had a very special close relationship.

“For five full years now I’ve been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and father and friend...”

Mia had her “Mommy time” with Gloria but as Mia aged, she liked to fish with Pops. She enjoyed being in the kitchen with him. At age ten Mia called out her first order to Pops that day taking the first step of creating ‘their special language' they talked to each other to this very day in the kitchen. Mia sat at the table with her book watching the waitress in front of her, listening closely to the order.

She called out the order to Pops loud and proud.

Pops glanced down at the order that Ginny handed him, as Mia recited in her own language what the customers wanted. He smiled at her, it made sense to her, and to him.

“I’m on it, MJ!” His voice boisterous. Little Mia learned the menu and started calling out all the orders to Pops.

His mind drifted to Kyle. Mia’s first serious boyfriend. The one he had basically thought he was so proud of Mia for finding. Kyle appeared to have it all. He came from a good family, and he appeared like he loved Mia.

Pops mentally took off his rose colored glasses and looked at his daughter’s relationship with him.

Pops saw all the warning signs he had been oblivious to the first time around. The sadness in his daughter’s eyes, she was trying to hide. The crash dieting. Mia wasn’t insecure before, but he now saw all the hints of it. And he had been afraid to ask. Why did he not ask her what was wrong? When he had such a good relationship with his MJ.

“Today she’ll learn for the first time not all who smile at her are her friends….”

Mia found the courage in herself to end that relationship.

And with the ending of that relationship ended another one. Daniel’s father was transferred to North Carolina. Mia was devastated with her friend moving away. But, it was very short lived, as Daniel’s father Jonathan let Pops know of a restaurant that was for sale in their area, that would give Pops the chance to branch out completely on his own and have his very own place.

Pops took a chance and packed up his family and moved to North Carolina and bought that little restaurant that the community now fondly known as Pop’s Place.

He remembered the first time he saw Mia interact with Jaiden. The two were very friendly with each other talking and laughing. Jason Brooks elbowed him.

“There is something special blooming between those two.”

Pops laughed looking at the two of them again.

“I doubt it seriously.”

Mia’s dance card was full, between Drake Walker, but Pops had his money on Liam Rys walking away with Mia’s heart.

“Twenty bucks says they’ll be dating before the end of summer.”

“You’re on Brooks.”

Pops lost that bet.

Watching the love blossom between his daughter and Jaiden made him feel young again. The love and the heartache.

The sweet little gestures of love and understanding.

*^*^*^*^*^*^* Fast Forward a year after the wedding *^*^*^*^*^*

"I think I finally got it right now. Hi MJ, hey Jaiden. Can you all hear me now?”

"We can hear you now fine Hey Pops, where's Mom?"

"I'm here, I had to take dinner out of the oven."

They talked for a few minutes.

"MJ you look like the cat that ate the canary. What's going on?"

"So we didn't agree on how to do this. We both wanted to tell you face to face but we didn't want to wait until Thanksgiving."

She looked at Jaiden. He smiled nodding.

"Mom, Pops…..”

Pops saw the tears in Mia's eyes.

"What's wrong?"

She held up a single picture.

Both her parents screamed in joy.

“It’s a boy!!!”

“We wanted to tell you sooner.”

Jaiden’s eyes filled with tears, as Mia leaned into him. His grip tightened around her.

“We had to wait a little bit, because we had some complications. I had to take some time off work. But we’re okay now. All three of us.”

“This is the best news I’ve ever heard!!!!” Pops was laughing and crying at the same time.

“You can't tell anyone yet. We’re telling Jaiden’s parents a little later on this evening.”

"We understand."

“So that means Pops, when we have the baby you’re getting on a plane and flying out here. Mom’s not going to let you drive cross country.”

“It will be fun, we could rent an RV like we did that summer.”

“NO Pops. NO!!!” Gloria and Mia exclaimed in unison.

“That summer was a nightmare, Jaiden.”

For MJ, when it was time, he got on that plane. The simple man who lived between North and South Carolina his whole life, had raised a girl that loved adventure, and was living her life now in California as a fashion designer with her successful architect husband, and about to give birth to their first child.

Jaiden walked out of the delivery room with a proud smile on his face.

“He’s here. Six pounds and two ounces and twenty one inches long. He’s perfect in every way.”

Jason went to hug his son.

Later that evening, Pops and Gloria went in to see the baby.

Mia had been in labor for over twelve hours, but you couldn’t tell it from the serene smile that was on her face, as she held their first child in her arms.

Jaiden took the baby from her arms.

“Pops, meet your grandson. His name is Kaiden…. Kaiden Riley Brooks.”

(Author’s Note: yeah…. I know, I said Riley Brooks would never exist in a place where my MC is not named Riley…. But you know…. I had to mix things up. Technically this is NOT your Riley Brooks.)

Pops held Kaiden in his arms. The little baby opened his eyes to look at him. And in that moment Pop’s life was changed again by another little baby, this time, weighing six pounds and two ounces.

He kissed the top of his head gently rubbing Kaiden’s head full of dark brown curls.

“We finally got our boy Pops.” Gloria whispered as Pops rocked Kaiden in his arms.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Fast Forward *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Time flies as time always does. Pops and Gloria were visiting during the first week of school.

Pops grip on Mia’s hand tightened as she held her youngest child Luna on her hip, watching little Kaiden walk down the driveway to the bus.

Mia softly gasped as Kaiden stopped, turning around to her, and waved goodbye to her, and his little sister, and his Poppy; Mia was holding back tears.

“I know how you feel.”

“Does it get easier Pops?”

“You’ll always see him….them the way you do now. They will always be your babies. It’s how I see you. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become Mia.”

“Thank you Pops.”

“So, world, I bequeath to you today, one little boy… in a little blue and gold uniform…. With two hazel eyes and a flash of curly brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when he runs.

I trust you’ll treat him well.”

Tags in the comments!!!!

#bebepac writes #mia's world #pops place #pops place part 2 #jaiden x mia #trr fanfic #trr fandom #what the fluff?#wacky drabbles #choices fic writers creations #fic of the week #tw pregnancy complications mention

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

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Secret Santa ~ KNJ [Day Seventeen: Advent Calendar]

WORD COUNT: 2.9K

GENRE: Fluffy, friends to lovers, angst? (idk if its angst, maybe a little im sorry!!) fluffy ending, first kiss, Christmas prompts

PAIRING: Kim Namjoon x Fem!Reader

The BigHit lounge was unusually cold this morning, you were sitting on the sofa with Kai and Jimin curled up under a thick blanket Jimin had managed to steal from Yoongi's studio.

"If he finds us with this, you're taking the heat." You mumbled to Jimin as Kai came over to the sofa holding a cup of hot chocolate to help you warm up, it had been snowing all night and morning you were surprised you were still here.

"Yoongi won't mind, he loves you," Kai added when he saw Jimin struggling to come up with something to say, you rolled your eyes at the two of them as they snuggled up with you.

"Are we still doing secret Santa today?" You questioned as you began blowing cold air into the top of your hot chocolate dying to get a sip of it already. It was a week before everyone would be going on the Christmas break which meant it was time for cheesy gifts and a mini Christmas at the BigHit building like they did every year but this year was different. This year you'd somehow been roped into joining in on the idols Secret Santa game, you were putting the full blame onto your best friend -- Jungkook -- who seemed to be more than excited for you to be participating in it this year.

"Yeah, Jungkook said he'll bring the bucket with names in around later. Do you have training?" Jimin asked as he put his cup down on the coffee table, you weren't an idol like them. You'd been an actress under BigHit for a long time and now you were finally starting to kick start your singing career along with another solo singer that had recently joined BigHit.

"I've got the next two weeks off, I saved my holiday days," You smiled at him smugly and he glared at you, you knew Jimin liked to use his holiday day's right away whenever he could.

"Look at me taking the time-" He was cut off from mocking you when the door to the lounge opened and Jungkook appeared there holding a bowl of names. Unknown to you and the boys there was a second bowl sitting underneath the first one with Namjoon's name scribbled all over the pieces of paper so he could insure you got him and you could be his secret Santa. He'd been planning this for weeks wanting you to get him so you could somehow confess your feelings to him. You'd been best friends with Jungkook for years, long before he joined BigHit which meant you were now close to the boys, spending a lot of time with them. You eventually grew one-sided feelings for Namjoon which didn't go unnoticed by your best friend who was quick to try and make things work between you both. It didn't work out well though when you couldn't even be in a room alone with Namjoon if someone else was with you though you both seemed to get along perfectly together and it was like you had been close friends for a while.

"Jimin and Kai first," The boys jumped out of their seats ready to take names from the bowl. Kait ended up picking Yoongi and Jimin got Jungkook so they wanted to head out shopping right away,

"I'll go later. Going to wait for the snow to stop." You told them as you said goodbye, while you were busy Jungkook switched the bowls over so Namjoon's name would be the only one you could pick out and he smiled innocently at you,

"I'll take you shopping at the weekend, you can help me pick something for Soobin," He chuckled trying to make it seem as though this was a normal conversation and that he wasn't nervous about you picking out a name.

"Can I go again?" You stuttered out when you unrolled the piece of paper,

"Nope, first choice only." You whined out as he put the bowl down and peaked to look at who you got as if he didn't already know.

"Do you know what to get him?" You nodded your head slowly, it would be a lie if you hadn't already thought it through the moment you saw his name on that tiny piece of paper.

"Is there a budget?" You put the piece of paper into your jeans and Jungkook shook his head, eager to see what you would be getting Namjoon for the gift.

"What did you have in mind?" You smiled softly as you thought back on the perfect Namjoon gift you'd seen a couple of weeks ago. It was a bonsai tree that would have been perfect for his office space and it sprouted flowers once a year.

"N-Nothing special," You whispered even though it was a lie and he could tell that already,

"Tell me...You might give me some ideas. I'm completely stuck." You rolled your eyes playfully at Jungkook and rushed to grab your phone showing him the bonsai tree and then a painting set that came with everything he would need to get into painting.

"You already thought this through before picking him?" He was going to tease you, you could already tell from the tone of his voice so you playfully shoved him onto the sofa and began tickling his sides.

"It's not my fault!" You groaned as you stopped tickling Jungkook, he sighed as you laid your head down on his thighs and laid your legs over the rest of the sofa as if he was a therapist. His hands began playing with your hair,

"I just- I think about him all of the time. There's not a day that goes by when he isn't in my thoughts Guk...Is that weird?" He chuckled as you closed your eyes, running your hands over your face in frustration.

"It's called having a crush, you need to tell-"

"Nope!" You cut him off and covered your face with a pillow. As you and Jungkook were joking around in the lounge Namjoon walked past the door and looked inside to see what all the fuss was about. He smiled when he heard your laughter filling the air, your laugh always seemed to bring one of the biggest smiles to his face. It was one of his favourite things about you even though you were insecure about it, he'd noticed that too. Whenever you laughed too hard at something others didn't you covered your mouth with your hands and began to look at the floor nervously, but it made Namjoon's stomach flip at the sight of it.

"You act as you've never had a crush on someone before," Jungkook grumbled as you began straightening yourself up again, Namjoon stepped to the side of the door so neither of you could see him. He knew this was wrong to be spying on a conversation but he wanted to see who you had a crush on. Who he was possibly in competition with to get your attention.

"You don't get it, when I look at him it's like my whole world stops. I feel as light as a feather-"

"You can't talk to him while you're alone," Jungkook said as a matter of factly and so you threw a pillow into his face and began walking out of the room when you came face to chest with Namjoon.

"Whoa, Hi." You gasped as Namjoon's arms wrapped around your waist to stop you from tumbling onto your back and hurting yourself,

"Hi," He whispered back to you as he stared into your eyes, you began opening and closing your mouth like a fish as you tried to come up with some words to say to him but your head was empty. It was as if you'd forgotten every word in the English and Korean Language and were now just an empty-headed girl standing in front of her crush.

"Y/n? You alright? Did you hit your head?!" Namjoon panicked as he checked you over but you just nodded and scrambled away from him, rushing off in the direction of the toilets instead not wanting to be in front of him yet.

The secret Santa day was here and you were more than nervous about it, everyone seemed to be getting excited about the growing collection of presents under the tree in the main lounge.

"Who did you get?" Yoongi whispered as he saw you standing at the back of the room looking worried about something,

"I'm not telling, it's cheating." You nudged his stomach playfully and he wrapped his arm around your waist. Namjoon looked over at you both when he heard your laughter over everything else inside of the room and his heart sank. Was Yoongi the one you and Jungkook had been talking about? After you ran away from him the other day he'd convinced himself it was him and that his feelings for you were being returned but not he wasn't so sure about it.

"It's time!!! We'll go randomly! Yoongi, you're up first, come grab your bag." Hoseok announced as he stood in front of the tree. There was soft Christmas music playing through the speakers in the room, Hoseok and Jungkook wanted today to feel like a real Christmas with the huge family since you wouldn't be spending Christmas day together. There was even a Christmas dinner being cooked in the canteen for everyone, including the staff.

"You having a nice time?" You jumped a little when Namjoon's voice came out of nowhere, he was standing right beside you and whispering so that only the two of you could hear one another.

"It's nice, are you?" You managed to talk to him without stuttering which was good but you were putting it down to the fact that you were in a room full of people. Your stomach was doing flips and tricks as if it was some kind of performance act at the circus,

"Great, I was wondering if I could show you something later?" You looked up at him wondering what it was that he wanted to show you but you nodded,

"Sure, w-what is it?" He smirked to himself as he looked down at the floor, hearing the stutter come from you only confirmed that it wasn't Yoongi you were crushing on and that he still had a good fighting chance with you.

"A song I've been working on, it's for you not for us." Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, he knew how much you were struggling to find a song you loved so much for your debut.

"Y-Yeah, sure...For me? A-Are you, my secret Santa?" He shook his head at your question, he'd hoped to have been because then he would have had an excuse to buy you something and spoil you but he hadn't been lucky enough.

"Namjoon, you're up," Jungkooked called out, Namjoon touched your side as a silent goodbye and walked over to the tree and picked up his box. Your pulse began tp pick up as you watched him closely, watching the way his eyes lit up the moment he took the bonsai tree from the bag and had a huge smile on his face. He began reading the small care card through before smiling and looking around the room for any signs as to who might have given him it but your eyes were on the floor.

Namjoon's studio was right next to Yoongi's so you headed into Yoongi first, giving him a hot chocolate and thanking him for the gift he'd gotten you. It was a selection of your favourite earring brand with a matching bracelet to go along with it. Then you went into Namjoon's studio, you pushed the door open without knocking since that was what he always told you to do but you saw him standing there with a member of staff, she was one of your stylists.

"I just thought it would be perfect for you, you love things like that right." Her fingers were running up and down Namjoon's chest as she stood really close to him, batting her false eyelashes and smiling up at him. Your chest tightened as you filled with anger, hurt and jealousy all at the same time, neither of them had heard you enter the room so you backed out and moved away from his door not wanting to see it. There was nothing for you to be jealous about, it wasn't as though you and Namjoon were dating, you were just friends...Colleagues even.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook questioned when you backed up against his chest,

"S-Someone was claiming that they got Namjoon's gift for him...My perfect gift-" Your voice broke as you thought about someone taking credit for something you'd done, something that had made Namjoon smile the biggest smiled you'd seen come from him.

"Oh hell no, I did not rig that game for someone else to come by and take credit!" You froze and Jungkook froze as soon as the words left his mouth,

"You what?" You questioned, your heart thumping with anger as you stared at Jungkook who was now trying to come up with something, anything he could say to get him out of this.

"Jeon Jungkook," You said in a warning tone but he ignored you, trying to walk away but you grabbed the lapels of his shirt and pushed him against the wall.

"What did you do?" He looked down at you and then up over your shoulder, Namjoon was just coming out of his studio to look for you. You were late for your meeting which wasn't like you at all,

"I rigged the game so you would be able to pick Namjoon...Then get him something that would make him see how much you have a crush on him." Jungkook was making sure to speak loud and clear enough for Namjoon to be able to hear every word you were saying but you were so angry at Jungkook you hadn't even noticed he was there yet.

"Are you stupid?! Why would I tell Namjoon I have a crush on him? He probably sees me as an annoying little sister or something! Not to mention someone just ruined your plan by telling him they got him the gift," You rambled on while Namjoon stood there with an amused look on his face,

"I knew she didn't get me it,"

"See he knows-" Your hands dropped from Jungkook's shirt and he scrambled away leaving you and Namjoon in the hallway together alone. Your mouth hung open as you pressed your back against the wall where Jungkook had been stood previously,

"You knew?" He nodded his head going into his pocket and pulling out a gift receipt, the price was hidden but your name was written on it along with everything else you'd bought that day.

"Fuck," Your groaned looking at the piece of paper as he walked closer to you and chuckled softly,

"I didn't know you liked the paint, and read these kinds of books..." Namjoon smirked as he saw you roll your head back and groan once again and he knew that they hadn't been for you but for him,

"You know you only had to get me one thing," He was now standing right on top of you, your faces were inches away from one another as he stared into your eyes. It was as if you were being hypnotised, his lips hovered above yours as you both closed your eyes,

"I-I wanted it to be perfect," You admitted right before he kissed you hungrily, his arms snaking around your waist drawing your body closer to his. Your hands instantly went into his hair, pulling at the brown strands and whinging as he went to pull away,

"Not here," He chuckled grabbing your hand and pulling you into his studio where he then pressed you against the door.

"Merry Christmas," He winked at you as he kissed you again just as eagerly as before running his hands up and down your sides as you pushed your tongue into his mouth.

"Merry Christmas," You whispered breathily back to him as you both pulled away and he smirked at you as he walked over to his desk and sat down. His bonsai tree had taken pride on his desk which made you smile brightly,

"Cute." You whispered taking a seat and putting it next to his chair, he glanced at you before leaning across and kissing you once again.

"The song I've been working on...It's kind of a confession to how I feel about you but I guess the kiss did that for me." Your smile brightened as he chuckled as you rushed to put the earphones on, you loved everything Namjoon took pride in so you were dying to hear it and it was perfect.

It explained everything as if you'd written it yourself, all of your feelings seemed to be the same as Namjoon's in the song and your heart swelled up.

"I-It's perfect," You whispered putting down the earphones carefully and bitting your lip,

"I erm...If it wasn't clear, I feel the same way." He laughed as you awkwardly admitted it to him, he reached out to touch your hand and squeezed it softly.

"It's clear...Don't worry," You felt your body heat up as he stared into your eyes and he smiled even bigger when he noticed how shy you were getting over it he couldn't help but think how cute you were going to be on your first date. He was already planning it out in his head as he stared at you.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @callingmyangel @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @missmxqn @bisexualmess007 @oosnapitskat

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draconica · 3 years

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Husband fluff? I gotchu, fam. How’s about their whole wedding? 👀

Nick was pacing back and forth, back and forth, rubbing his hands together nervously. It had all been done - his grey tuxedo was on and he was dressed impeccably with a white rose in his lapel. His hair was slicked back perfectly, he was clean shaven and wearing that aftershave that Ellis really liked on him. Once or twice during his pacing, he would catch sight of himself in the mirror and be tempted to touch himself up in his nervous state. But no - he looked perfect, as Ellis would've told him if he were here. But he wouldn't see Ellis until they walked down that aisle together.

Last night had been hard; Ellis had stayed at Keith's while Nick spent the night at Rochelle's. The gambler really wanted to see his little lover just so he could calm his nerves, but Hell, they had to do things 'by tradition'. It's what Ellis wanted. Whatever his lover wanted, he would get. Nick had always been adamant on that front.

A knock at the door jarred him from his thoughts and suddenly there was Coach poking his head inside. "They're ready for you, young'un." He grinned and stepped inside, wearing a smart dark blue suit of his own. The elder man put a firm hand on Nick's shoulder, trying to keep him grounded. "You good?"

Nick gave a long exhale and then turned back to the mirror, eyeing his reflection one last time as a single man. The conman nodded. "Let's go."

Ellis meanwhile was in another room of the hotel, his toes curling a little inside of his shiny black shoes. "Ro, is it normal to be nervous as all shit?" the mechanic whimpered whilst his long-time friend, a woman he considered the big sister he'd never had, straightened up his wonky neck tie.

"You'll be fine, sweetie," Rochelle gave a small smile and placed a comforting hand on his face, patting it lovingly. "This is your wedding. Nothing could make old Suit love you any less."

“I know, I know,” Ellis sighed, placing his hand over hers. “Jus' don't wanna make a fool of myself if I screw up my vows or somethin'.”

Francis, who was across the room leaning against the wall, let out a chuckle. “Honestly, I've got my money on Colonel Sanders messing up somehow. You don't even need to worry, pipsqueak.”

Ellis threw Francis a small smile, knowing that the biker was only trying to cheer him up.

At that moment, Keith knocked on the door and shouted out to his best friend. “El! It's time to get hitched, let's go!”

“Aw, Lord,” paled the mechanic, his fingers curling together in nervousness. “O-okay, alright.”

"Ready?" The dark-skinned woman asked him, her chestnut eyes glinting with eagerness.

Ellis smiled at her determination and nodded, taking in slow and deep breaths. "Ready as I'll ever be, Ro." With that, they walked out into the corridor and began to head down to the event hall in the hotel.

Their guests were already in place, sat in their seats and murmuring between themselves as the time fast approached. Keith slipped into the room and went to find Dave and his other friends near the front. Nick peered inside from the door at the far end of the aisle as he and Coach waited for the second groom to arrive.

“I'd better go take my place,” Coach said, glancing down the room at the space where he would be standing in order to perform the ceremony. “When you hear the music, that's your cue, all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Nick let out a half-breath and looked back, anticipating Ellis to walk around the corner any minute. The football coach simply chuckled at him and then entered the main hall, being sure to close the door behind him and leaving Nick to his own thoughts.

The gambler had been a complete jumble of nerves from the moment he left Ellis's side the previous day. It wasn't just the wedding, it was getting married again. Despite the fact that becoming Ellis's husband was something he'd wanted for years before this point, he couldn't quieten the harsh voice of this past that told him that he would ruin this all over again. Okay, sure, his last marriage hadn't been based on love per se, but that only made it worse; Nick was about to step into the unknown and that scared him more that facing off against a million zombie hordes.

But when he turned and saw his fiancé, the voice was easily silenced.

Ellis was wearing a light grey suit that brought out his eyes, a yellow rose pinned to his lapel. His hair was loose as usual but something about the way the soft hotel lights bounced of the dusty blond curls made it almost resemble a halo. Nick instantly felt a wave of relief wash over him that accompanied a quake in his knees. He managed to stay standing, just about, and willed himself to move toward him.

“Ellis,” he smiled widely, barely acknowledging Francis and Rochelle who had entered behind his partner. Ellis stepped forward also until he could meet Nick in the middle, reaching out to hold him the second he got close enough. He crushed the man in a hug and for a moment could not tell if it was Nick who was shaking or himself.

“Nick,” he whispered back as the scent of Nick's favorite aftershave was suddenly filling his head like Opium and allowed him to relax against the warm weight in his arms. Francis and Rochelle slipped past and went to take their seats right at the front of the procession, leaving the happy couple to a moment of quiet together before the ceremony began.

“Sweetheart, you look amazing,” Nick murmured against Ellis's shoulder. When he pulled back, not moving too far from his fiancé, he cupped Ellis's cheek and brushed a gentle thumb just under his eye. “I mean, you always do, but...”

“Shucks, Nick, so do you.” Ellis felt the heat from Nick's palm and knew he was blushing something furious. “Baby, I gotta tell ya, I'm a nervous wreck right about now. I dunno if it's because you ain't been with me or because I know what we're about to do, or…”

Nick would usually prefer to shut Ellis up with a kiss, but that wasn't an option at the moment. He always knew what Ellis wanted, and one of those things would be for their next kiss to be the kiss – their first as a married couple. For now, he had to rely on just shushing him gently.

“It's gonna be fine, El. Nothing to be nervous about.” Nick was in that same boat, however he knew he needed to be calm for Ellis's sake. At that moment, just as Nick was trying to level out his breathing, a soothing and slow violin began to play from the main room. The gambler swallowed. “That's our cue.”

Ellis swallowed and turned to the door obediently, all the while not letting go of his fiancé’s hand. He wanted to say something else, but all he could do was bite his lip and try not to babble on like he tended to do when excited. Nick stepped forward, and Ellis followed at his side, as they opened the doors and stepped beyond the threshold together.

Their guest were standing by their seats, all eyes turned towards them with bright smiles to accompany them. They hadn't made all that many new friends since the apocalypse, so the guest list wasn't exactly huge, but everyone who was here were the only people that mattered.

The one side included Dave, Keith and the latter's two brothers, all of whom had big toothy grins at watching their best buddy walk down the aisle. There was also Louis and Zoey, who they'd come to be great friends with – Nick had even worked with Louis for a while in Atlantic City when the Infected was still a subsiding threat.

On the other side, Rochelle, clad in a black and pink dress, was stood beside her boyfriend Francis. The biker was looking at them proudly while keeping one hand delicately on Ro's arm. Near them, one row back, was a very special guest: Nick's mom, Angela.

Ellis had reached out to her without Nick's knowledge not long after they had first moved in together and had surprised him by flying her over. It had been a staggering moment for Nick who, up until that moment, had assumed his mother absolutely did not want to see him. After a reconciliation, in which Nick had been proved thankfully wrong, he had made an effort to bring her back into his life. She hadn't even known about his first marriage (he was relieved about that), so it was an incredibly proud moment for her to watch her son get married. Nick caught her eye as he passed and felt a lump in his throat.

And, finally, there was Coach. He was waiting for them at the end of the aisle with a large grin and carrying a closed book. When Nick and Ellis had learned that Coach had been previously ordained in order to officiate his sister's wedding a few years ago, asking him to marry them had a no brainer. Nick in particular was not keen on having a stuffy old minister who would rattle on about Bible passes perform the ceremony.

Once the two grooms had walked their way hand-in-hand to the end of the aisle, the woman playing the violin at the side closed off the gentle song and the hall fell into silence for a second before the room shuffled and took their seats again. Coach cleared his throat and opened his book.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of Ellis and Nicolas. These two guys are very important to me, as I'm sure they are to all of you, and we count ourselves truly blessed to be here to share their special day with them.”

As Coach carried on reading his sermon, Nick squeezed Ellis's hand, feeling the younger man squeeze back. He glanced over and noticed those baby blue eyes were on him, already shining with anticipatory tears. 'You got this,' he tried to tell him with his smile alone, and he could've sworn he saw Ellis gave a slight nod back to him.

“If anyone here has a reason to object to the forming of this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Nick felt pinpricks on the back of his neck. Ellis's fingers tightened around his partner's. Luckily, there was no such objection from behind them, and Nick had to smile at Coach's face in that moment – he looked about ready to unleash thunder on anyone who dared. With that out of the way, Coach continued.

“Nicolas and Ellis will now vow themselves by body and soul to each other and have chosen to do so in their own words. It is by these vows that they will continue their lives together. Please, face each other, now.” The two grooms turned, taking each other's hands. “Nicolas, if you would.”

The ex-conman took a deep breath, looking Ellis in the eyes as he began to recite the words written by his heart.

"Ellis… wow, I can't believe we're here. Ever since I was small, my life was nothing but uncertainty and running away, never looking back. When we met… I was at my lowest point. But you were a light that I could follow to escape the darkness. You were everything I needed and wanted. Not only did you teach me how to love and trust people again, you taught me how to love myself. And for that, I want to pledge the rest of my life to you – there's no one else in the world I would trust with something so important to me."

Ellis had to hang his head for a moment and Nick could tell he was starting to lose his battle with his tears. A number of the guest already had, judging by the sniffling he could vaguely hear behind them.

Coach had to clear his throat again, something Nick found highly amusing, and then turned to Ellis. “Ellis? Off ya go.”

As the mechanic's head rose once more, there was a single tear running down his cheek. He reached up to wipe it away, swallowed, and chuckled into a smile.

“Nick. For the longest time in my life, I thought I had everythin' figured out. Then, after it was all turned upside down in the blink of an eye, you were there to make it right again. You… you guided me and kept me safe, you showed what it meant to be brave and strong but most importantly, you made me feel like everything was gonna be okay. No matter what came our way, we would face it t'gether. Right now… with the rest of our lives stretchin' out ahead of us, I cannot wait to take it all on by your side. My badass zombie-killin' husband.”

Just hearing Ellis say that final word was like unleashing the floodgates in Nick, who had been doing a pretty good job so far at keeping the tears at bay. He suddenly felt them pool in his eyes, all ready to spill. He could've sworn he could hear Francis sniffing over his shoulder, which made him chuckle.

The rings were then exchanged. Nick's was a silver band that he had carefully chosen so that it would stand out against his usual gold ones if he decided to wear them. Ellis's ring was a vibrant gold to match his hair, something that Nick was pleased about at the time they'd picked them out. Once both bands had been snugly fit onto the fourth fingers of both grooms, they joined hands as per Coach's instruction.

“Ellis and Nicolas have exchanged the vows that will carry them on into the next stage of their lives and have also promised sacred wedding bands to each other as a physical proof of their union. Now, I gotta ask you both one last thing.” He turned to Ellis. “Ellis, do you take Nicolas to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you swear to love him and support him through sickness and health, so long as you both shall live?”

Ellis gazed into the calming green of his lover's eyes, in doing so more tears rolled down his face. “I do.”

Coach was grinning, but still tried to remain professional in his role. “And do you, Nicolas, take Ellis to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you swear to love and support him for richer or poorer, 'till death do you part?”

Nick had to smile at a thought that came to him just then; how he had gone from telling Ellis how he really felt being the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, to being the easiest when he spoke those two important words. “I do.”

Beside them, their eldest friend shut the book – he didn't need to read for this part.

“Then… it's with a great honor and pride that in the presence of all those who love you, by the powers vested in me by the state of Georgia, I now pronounce you both as lawful beloved husbands. Now kiss each other b'fore I start cryin'.”

Smiling widely, the grooms kissed at last to loud applause (mostly from Ellis's over-excited Savannah buddies) and Nick could vaguely taste the salty tears on the edge of his husband’s lips. But had they been El's tears, or his own?

As the music started once more in order to begin the recession, Nick and Ellis turned to their guests just as Coach announced behind them. “Mister Nicolas Devlin and Mister Ellis Miller!”

Rochelle was dabbing under her eyes with a tissue all the while absolutely beaming at them. Ellis could swear he saw Francis with a tissue curled up in his hand while he was clapping. On the other side, all his friends were still cheering him on, Louis giving him a cheery thumbs up as he passed by. Nick meanwhile briefly left Ellis's side to hug his mom who was nothing short of a wreck with how delighted she was. Ellis was looking forward to spending more time with her, and especially Nick spending more time with her.

The guests all filed out behind the happy couple as they moved into a larger event hall adjacent to the first. This one was lined with tables adorned with place mats, fancily-folded napkins and large flower center pieces. Nick and Ellis had a brief moment to themselves before greeting their guests and Nick took Ellis in his arms for a few sweet kisses.

“I love you.” He couldn't stop smiling. “God damn, you ruined me back there.”

“I ruined you?” Ellis retorted and shook his head, unable to resist more kisses.

It was time for the guests to join them, and the grooms stood by the door to chat to each of them before they found their seats. Rochelle gave them both hugs and smacked them on the shoulders for ruining her make-up, then Coach reiterated again how proud he'd been to officiate for the pair of them before getting hugs of his own.

Soon enough, once Nick and Ellis had taken their seats at the head table and everyone had been poured a glass of champagne, it was time for dinner to be served. Ellis was tempted to keep the main meal light so that he could have more of the wedding cake – it sat on a table at the side, a three-tiered chocolate dessert, and Ellis had been thinking about it ever since they'd picked it out of the catalogue at the baking company.

“We'll cut it soon enough,” Nick whispered to him, placing a hand over his when he caught Ellis staring.

Ellis blushed and picked up his champagne for a quick sip. “Would ya believe I married you jus' so I could eat it?”

Shaking his head, Nick leant in for one more kiss of many and grinned. “Not a chance.”

Once the main course had been served and eaten amongst the jovial conversation of everyone in the room, Zoey began to clink a fork against her champagne glass. Other gentle chimes began to join and caused a flush to creep around the older groom's neck. Eventually, Nick relented, nodding slowly, and grabbed his own champagne flute before standing up.

"Yeah, uh... a speech..." he said, scratching his face. "Uh... well, first of all, thanks to everyone for coming today to share this special day with us. It really means a lot to see so many of you here and thanks for the well-wishes and gifts, we sure appreciate them. And, uh... Ellis, why don't you finish up." He picked Ellis up by his forearm, grinning as the room chuckled around him.

Ellis leant against Nick briefly and gave a sideways smirk at him. “Yeah, what Nick said! Its been such an amazin' day so far. We wouldn't be nothin' without each and ev'ry one of y'all. So thanks!”

Coach lifted his glass beside them. “To Nick and Ellis,” he toasted, cuing everyone in the room to join the chorus and then started a small applause.

Ellis nudged Nick with his elbow. “Now, I think it's cake time?” He looked up hopefully at his handsome husband being met with a roll of his green eyes.

“Alright, sport. Let's go.”

The young mechanic practically bounded from his place and tugged his husband's hand towards the cake table, the guests also standing and moving closer to watch the moment for themselves. They took the knife in hand and carefully cut into the bottom cake to another round of applause. As Nick continued to cut out slices and hand them out on plates to the guests, Ellis got his husband's attention while he ate his own slice. Nick had just turned to him when suddenly Ellis smeared a glob of chocolate icing on the end of his nose.

Rochelle gasped and started to laugh at the look on Nick's face, a mock of both annoyed and amused, and then Nick decided to retaliate by leaning in to kiss him and purposely rubbing his nose against El's. That was all that came from the teasing – no sense in wasting good cake. Especially with Coach in the room.

With dinner eaten, it was time to party. The room in which the ceremony had been performed had now been cleared and converted, the resulting dance floor ready to see people into the rest of the evening.

The chattering guests gathered around the hardwood floor in anticipation for the happy couple's first dance. Nick could feel a little nervous at the expectant stares, but Ellis's hand in his grounded him as they both stepped forward. Having his lover by his side was always enough to quell any nerves.

Ellis placed his hands on Nick's shoulders close to his neck, and Nick's rested upon Ellis's waist. From the DJ's podium at the one end of the room, the man started the song he'd been told to play for the first dance.

The Midnight Riders. Ellis's choice, of course.

“How did I guess?” Nick chuckled. Ellis just gave a half-shrug.

“It's one of their slower songs,” explained the mechanic as he hummed along to the intro of 'Save Me Some Sugar'. Their feet began to move across the floor in short steps, not so much dancing as shifting in place together while turning slowly. Everyone's eyes were on the pair of them, but they didn't care to notice when their gazes were locked to each other and nowhere else. “We've done it, darlin'. After all that waitin'...”

“Yeah,” Nick murmured to him. “My husband. God, that feels so good to say, doesn't it?”

“I know what'cha mean. Still don't feel real.” Ellis sighed. “Prob'bly won't sink in for a while, neither. Maybe after we get back from the honeymoon. Hey… ya still ain't said where we're goin'.”

“Sweetheart, I told you,” smiled the gambler, having already addressed this line of questioning a hundred times before. “You'll find out at the airport.”

Ellis pouted, his fingers curling a little more around Nick's neck to twine into the loose hairs at the back of his head. “You ain't s'posed to keep secrets from your husband,” he said matter-of-factly.

Nick kissed him; that new name he could give Ellis was doing all kinds of good things for him. “I fucking love you, El.”

“Love ya more.” Ellis repeated Nick's kiss with one of his own, and before they knew it, the song was starting to die away and their first dance was over. The crowd around them cheered and Nick obliged them with another sweet kiss to his husband's soft lips.

Then the party truly began with some cheesy pop music. Rochelle all but dragged Francis onto the floor with her and laughed as he tried to find his feet. Ellis moved and danced with Zoey, Keith and Dave danced with each other (although it was more like failed break-dancing) and Nick went to dance with his mom, pretending to know how to ballroom dance.

The party lasted well into the night with plenty of dancing, drinks and good cheer for the happy couple. Ellis could tell it was getting later without needing to look at a clock because their guests would one-by-one catch him on their way out to give their final wishes and goodbyes. Once the night had turned into the wee hours of the morning, Nick and Ellis decided to retire for the night themselves. They made sure to thank the hotel staff before retrieving the key to the honeymoon suite, very generously gifted to them by Rochelle and Francis as a wedding present.

By the time they reached the top floor, there was only one thing on their mutual minds. Nick had an arm around Ellis's waist, fingers teasing the lip of his belt whilst his other hand unlocked the hotel room door.

“Should I carry you in?” Nick teased him once he'd managed to push the door open.

Ellis just smirked up at him, and maybe it was the buzz of the evening that powered his next choice of words. “Nah, man. I got this.”

Ellis bent over, grabbed Nick around his legs and hauled him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. There was only a moment or two of annoyed noises behind him before Nick began to laugh. “Ellis! Put me down!”

The mechanic was strong enough to make his way over to the plush couch on the other side of the living space with his tall husband over his shoulder before he fell forwards, Nick falling open armed across the cushions. Ellis was half on the couch and half on top of Nick and he couldn't quite tell where he ended and his husband began.

“You idiot,” Nick laughed breathlessly as he tried to sit up.

Ellis grinned at him and backed up to give the man room. “You married this idiot,” he challenged.

“Yeah, what was I thinking?” teased Nick as he met the hick in the middle for another kiss. This was was sweet at first, though soon turned a little more heated with thoughts of what came next. “Y'know, El, this marriage won't be official until we consummate it.”

“Well, what're we waitin' for?” The mechanic rose to his feet, extending his arms in order to pull the other man up with him. “I've always wanted to sleep with a married man.”

Nick laughed once more as he fell into his husband's embrace and kissed his forehead, knowing that the warm swelling he could feel in his heart whenever he looked at Ellis would be a consistent effect for a long, long time.

#nellis #nick/ellis #draconicauthor #draccymods

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ironmandeficiency · 4 years

Text

falcon, falcon, goose!

pairing: sam wilson / reader

word count: 3547

summary: there were reports of geese leading people to their soulmates spanning centuries, and it seemed like a cool concept, but why did it have to coincide with you coming out of your writing slump?

warnings: cursing, geese, dumbassery, implied happy au where the avengers get along, iw and endgame who?

a/n: this is an older piece i wrote a couple years ago, decided to brush it up and repost it. and the reader works for snl bc why the hell not? keep in mind that the original was written before everything went to shit w iw & endgame. posted from mobile yet again yall what is wrong w me

it was a sunny day outside, and deciding that you had been cooped up for far too long, you brought your laptop to the park a couple blocks from your studio apartment.

being a writer for saturday night live wasn't always so peachy, what with the lack of a social life outside of your co-workers and constantly explaining your job to confused relatives. you had been in a slump for the past couple weeks, the fact most of your sketch ideas not making the cut for the next episode continuing to throw you off your rhythm.

this week, you were going to change that. Your headphones were playing your concentration playlist full volume and you were hyped to the max. with your laptop on the picnic table in front of you and a warm cup of tea beside it, you were ready to blow the producers away with your next idea.

"honk! honk!"

you felt something nudge your leg, but you were too engrossed into what you were typing to care. after getting through a few more lines, it happened again.

"honk! honk! honk!"

you couldn't hear the sound but the feeling on your leg got a little bit rougher, more demanding. you moved your headphones to the side for a minute and took a moment to look around you. there was no kid running to get their ball back or any squirrels nearby that dropped a nut.

strange.

but you put your headphones back on, trying to keep your groove alive while hoping the interruptions are finished.

"HONK! HONK! HONK!" the goose honked louder, pecking at your leg harder than it had earlier.

you were getting frustrated and a little pissed. the creativity was flowing through your veins for the first time in what felt like ages and this — whatever it was — decided that today was the best day to annoy you.

you kicked your legs out with a strange flail and when you came into contact with something large and solid you nearly screamed.

"ow! motherf- oh my god!"

standing on the ground beside your table was a goose. it honked yet again with impatience (geese could do that?) and nipped lightly at your thigh closest to it. looking to the pond nearby, it was nearly an entire gaggle of the damned things.

so here was this goose honking at you and nipping at you like you were supposed to know what the hell it wanted from you.

"i don't have any bread, dumbass. go find someone else to bother." thinking it would leave if you ignored it, you turned away and continued your work.

"HONK! HONK!" it continued to honk and decided to peck you before flapping its wings, landing itself on the table next to your computer.

"get outta here, ya damn goose!" while you were trying to shop it away, it expertly evaded you. "go! shoo! leave me alone!"

it just stayed over on the bench, expertly dodging your attempts to get it to leave.

a few people nearby had heard your altercation with the infernal bird. one of them was an older gentleman that laughed as he sat across from you, the mirth in his eyes glinting as you give him a sarcastic side eye while trying to deal with the current issue.

"that bird won't leave you alone, you know." At his voice, the goose calmed down and waddled a few feet away from your arm's reach.

that was the first time the thing had been seemingly calm since he showed up at your little table.

"what do you mean he won't leave me alone?"

he pauses, part of him enjoying the irritation in your tone. he remembers someone talking to him like he was to you many years ago, and it made his heart smile at the idea of repaying the favor. "have you ever read about soulmate geese?"

"hey we're gonna go for a run, wanna join?" steve’s offer was given with a smirk. ever since reuniting with bucky, the two supersoldiers found so much humor in doing laps around sam every time they went out jogging.

it annoyed the shit out of him, the "on your left" comments from steve and the newer "on your right" jabs from bucky, but it also pushed Sam to work harder during his runs. ultimately he knew his non-enhanced body didn't stand much of a chance beating them, but he enjoyed when he was able to close the gap between their times just a little bit.

"sure, just gimme a few to eat breakfast and I'll join you guys." the blond nodded and turned back to the elevator, having woken up far earlier than sam and therefore already ate.

he hummed otis redding as he laid the bacon flat into the pan, shoulders moving along with his created rhythm while changing the grounds in the coffee filter. this was how he spent most of his mornings, barring the occasional hangovers and missions where he couldn't afford the distraction.

he ate, got dressed, and told FRIDAY to let bucky and steve know he was ready to go. h had his water bottle in hand, giving his body a pep talk in preparation for the run. they met in the common room and soon, the trio was off.

"on your left!"

"on your right!"

"oh, come on!"

he knew it was gonna happen, but for some reason it felt like it happened sooner than normal. either they were trying really hard to mess with him today, or he was off his game. but regardless, he pushed his body harder than he probably should have because when there was something obstructing his path, he didn't pause. no, he charged it straight on through and fell hard.

steve and bucky had seen this from a distance and immediately rushed to get to their friend.

sam rolled onto his back, exhausted and now in terrible pain from the fall. he closed his eyes and just let it all sink in. when he opened his eyes at the sudden foul smell flooding his nostrils, he could feel the palpitations, thinking he was about to have a heart attack.

"holy shit!" sam sat up like a rocket despite the way his body was throbbing from the fall.

the goose stared at him curiously and turned its head toward the pounding footsteps from the approaching brooklynites.

"sam! What happened?" steve was concerned, inspecting sam while bucky noticed the bird. The brunet bent down to meet the goose eye-level and was somewhat surprised that it didn't run away at the close proximity.

"did you trip the dumbass? was it your fault sam landed on his face? Huh, little guy?"

"honk! honk!"

"i thought so. good job, man." bucky pats the animal on the head gently before turning to help steve get sam off the ground.

"nothing’s broken but there's probably a sprain, can't really be sure until we get to cho." sam and bucky lift their friend from the pavement and they have no problem supporting his weight.

they began the walk back to the tower in silence. well, almost silence. there was a faint pitter-patter of tiny, webbed feet behind them that sam and bucky weren't paying attention to.

steve noticed the goose slowly waddling behind the trio and looked at sam with a smile. sam responded to steve’s happy face with a glare, not enjoying any of the situation he found himself in.

"look behind us, guys."

both men took turns looking behind them and see the goose waddling behind them patiently. sam wasn't particularly happy about the culprit from moments before trailing behind him, but bucky thought it was hilarious.

"do you know what this means?"

sam rolled his eyes because he thought the blond was about to make some sort of poetic comment about one thing for another.

bucky had paused to think about the implications of a random goose for a moment before gasping. "dude," bucky nudged sam softly, being conscious of his friend's injuries. "you’re gonna meet your soulmate, man!"

"a soulmate goose. man come on, are you out of your mind?"

"steve got his goose back during the war, i think we know enough about it."

sam had only heard vague reports of soulmate geese throughout his life, but now that he thought about it, it did make sense. the goose showed up randomly in the middle of his routine, completely throwing him off, and was now refusing to leave him alone.

"well if this is my soulmate goose, then somebody’s gotta tell tony about our newest avenger." they laughed at the implication, viciously eager to witness tony’s reaction to the newest resident of avengers hq.

it has been three days of dealing with your goose, and you were now teased at work as “bird brain”, walking into your office to see several loaves of bread covering the desk. your goose, that you had named piper once you got home, was excited at the prospect of more food, but you planned on donating most of the bread to local shelters, only keeping a couple loaves for the house.

the guest host that week was mick jagger, and he had emerged into the room “i dream of jeanie” style, startling both you and piper, who honked at him in irritation.

it was time for you to work on the song for your little sketch with him, and you had only two more days before performance night (it was thursday) to finish writing it. after settling down and getting into the right mindset, the writing process had begun.

"alright let's see," mick murmured. "let’s all go to the picnic, let's all have a drink. what rhymes with 'drink'?"

you thought for a moment and said quietly, "think?"

you weren't prepared for the absurd response you received from the man, his accent making him round mean as he barked out a loud "NO!" with an unnecessary hand gesture.

piper just about lost it. she was honking and flapping around your office in a tizzy (but staying away from mick because the man was seen as a stranger she wasn't comfortable with).

you racked your brain for another solution, something else to rhyme with 'drink' and you eventually found it: "sink?"

mick thought about it for a moment before replying with a much lighter "yes!" also paired with unwarranted pointing.

‘motherfucker, is this how you write songs?!'

thursday and friday came and went, and soon it was time for your piece to be performed by mick. du to an accidental ankle twist someone else suffered, you were forced to perform a skit live for the first time in your career. it would have been great, but there was one teensy problem: piper blatantly refused to leave your side when it was time to perform, and she would honk and bite anyone that tried to keep her from you onstage.

even poor bobby, who she had grown fond of, was taking the brunt of it. she was not allowing you to be more than a couple feet away from her, and it was almost endearing if you weren't being broadcast on national television.

apparently, piper would also be making her debut appearance on saturday night live tonight as well.

saturday had arrived, and it was sam’s day of rest. he spent the day doing the bare minimum, eating junk food and watching almost everything on netflix he could find.

he didn't stray too far from tradition, not really. it was just that now he had a goose accompanying him the entire time, honking at this and that and eating occasional pieces of popcorn that sam didn't want to share.

he didn't mind his feathered companion, he was actually quite fond of his goose at this point. whitewing (not to be confused with redwing) was the most calm goose any of them had seen, no biting or nipping and especially no honking at ungodly hours of the night.

steve was perplexed. "Are you sure whitewing hasn't done anything bad? no waking you up at night or bites when you don't feed him soon enough?"

sam would chuckle and shake his head, proud to have such a calm goose. "why are you so keen to see him misbehave? aren’t all soulmate geese like this?"

"for lack of a better word, most geese are assholes. i don't know how whitewing is so well behaved," steve balked at the very idea of all geese being so mellow and decided it was story time.

steve’s goose from the century before was the most rambunctious animal anyone had ever seen. he recounted the first and several occasions following where his soulmate goose, jimmy, fended off the blond man's alleyway attackers.

sam was extremely grateful that whitewing had less feral and goose-like tendencies. whitewing was extremely well behaved and had an almost human way about him, the way he honked in reply to sam or the rest of the team when they talked to him.

it was late in the evening when clint decided to plop down onto the couch and flick the channel to nbc, where tonight's host was mick jagger.

"why are we watching this?" sam was enjoying his sitcoms before the other bird man had showed up.

"i haven't watched it in ages, plus mick jagger is on tonight."

"alright, whatever you want."

the intro played like usual, and whitewing was perfectly complacent. they laughed in the right places with the occasional honking from the bird, and everything was great.

"hey man, look!" clint interrupted, keeping sam from being able to hear the punchline. "i think that's a goose!"

"why is there a goose? The skit has nothing to with-"

sam and clint seemed to come to the same realization at the same time as whitewing, the goose beginning to honk incessantly. he was going absolutely berserk, flapping his wings and hopping off of sam’s lap and onto the coffee table, occasionally pecking at the tv where he saw the other goose.

he was going absolutely bonkers.

"whitewing! whitewing, no! calm down!" sam scrambled to calm down his goose, but he was having none of it. the whole entire skit, whitewing was honking and flapping and being a general nuisance.

he found his soulmate.

whitewing kept at it until the screen went to a commercial, his soulmate off of the screen.

"y’know," clint spoke around a slice of pizza. when did he get pizza? "if you hurry, you could go to the studio and meet your soulmate. the show is about halfway over."

before sam could think over the proposition, tony’s voice was heard from the corridor. "somebody shut that damned bird up before I pay ramsay to cook it!"

"i’m taking care of it!"

with that, sam heads to the armory with whitewing on his tail to get his wings. once he's equipped, sam heads to the window and jumps, immediately setting his course for studio 8h and his soulmate.

you’re released to go back to your office once you finish the skit alongside mick and piper, the show almost over. you’re gathering your things lazily, knowing that you have no other responsibilities for the night.

just as you lock your office and piper is waddling beside you without a care in the world, you see kyle running towards you with a look of fear in his eyes. that fear seems to only triple when his eyes land on piper beside you.

"kyle! what’s-"

"there’s another goose on the set! no one is safe!"

wait, was he bleeding?!

you were going to try and help your friend but one look at piper sent him off the rails, the lanky man nearly falling on his ass in an attempt to skid the corner. you hoped that someone would help calm your panicked friend, seeing as you were literally the worst person for the job at the moment.

without further incident, you are able to say goodbye to cecily and mikey before you're stopped in your tracks by michael, who gives piper a funny look.

"wait, so the goose that attacked kyle wasn't piper?" You shake your head in confusion. "dude, your soulmate must have come to the set!"

piper must have either understood what your co-worker had said or she could sense a change in the studio, but she began to honk erratically and run away from you. the last thing new york needed was two feral geese running around attacking people, so you did what anyone would do and ran after her.

"piper! piper, come back!" michael laughed as you chased after your goose. while you were running, you nearly died when you heard a honk that you knew wasn't from your piper. hers were carved into your brain, and you were positive that you could pick hers out of an entire gaggle of geese, so there was indeed a second goose in the studio.

to your dismay, piper did not stop and wait, she just kept on honking and flapping and scaring people in pursuit of the other goose, poor old you having to chase her.

there was another voice you assumed was yelling at his goose since you didn't know of anyone naming their kid whitewing. your eyes were not looking straight ahead when you suddenly bumped into someone, immediately stumbling a bit before regaining your balance.

piper had stopped her honking and that scared you. did someone hurt her? was she-

her and another goose were making muted honks to each other. they sounded like affectionate honks, which is one of the weirdest sentences you ever constructed in your head. but it was true! they were cuddling close to each other and making really quiet honking noises at each other, and if that wasn’t affectionate then you didn’t know what would be.

so if piper found her soulmate, that means yours was-

"i hope comin' to your job was okay. whitewing wasn't gonna give up until I left, so here we are." your eyes were dragged from the touching scene of piper and her special goose to a pair of dark brown irises that radiated warmth and a promise of happy days.

you were absolutely dumbstruck. your mouth was unable to form coherent words, so you decided to take in the appearance of your soulmate. he was wearing a soft grey tee and sweatpants, and socks without shoes. did he realize how unsanitary the streets of new york were?

but upon further investigation, you realize that he probably didn't walk to the studio. on his back was what you would normally call a jetpack, but when you recognize the face your mind completes the puzzle: your soulmate is sam wilson, otherwise known as the falcon. holy shit.

"uh yeah of course, i guess you flew here? no sane person in new york would walk around barefoot in the street." did you really just say that?!

sam nodded and then remembered that he was in his pajamas in front of his soulmate without any shoes. "yeah, he wasn't gonna stop attacking the tv once he saw uh…"

you realized he was asking for your goose’s name, and so you hastily gave it to him.

"yeah, once he saw piper, he went wild. caused more chaos in five minutes than he did in five days!"

you laugh, the nervousness falling away as you recount the story of you first meeting with piper.

people are staring at the pajama-clad avenger and his soulmate, their geese finally satisfied. after all, it wasn't every day so many people were able to watch soulmate geese (and their people) meet for the first time.

sam gently took your hand, his thumb smoothing the skin on the back of it, just listening to you talk. you asked him a question about whitewing and he was in the middle of telling you when he cut himself off. "i just realized i don't even know your name!"

in most scenarios you’d be slightly put off by this, but you didn't have an issue because of the specific circumstances. if he weren't an avenger you wouldn't have known his either, and plus, no one really pays attention to the little rat writers. you give him your name and smile when he introduces himself, his voice even helping show off the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

with impeccable goose timing, piper and whitewing honk at you to hurry your introductions and leave the studio.

"do you want to fly back to your place , or can I drive you?" it was a risk to ask him such a question, but you were genuinely concerned. you hoped he wouldn't think you were trying to jump his bones only minutes after meeting him so you used (terrible) humor to show your intentions. "you shouldn't fly so late at night without headlights, no matter how high up you get."

sam’s laughter was infectious and soon you joined him, your geese about to get more irritated with their humans.

"yeah, I'd like that. lead the way, soulmate." piper and whitewing honk as the two of you head to the lobby hand in hand, the birds waddling behind you just as happy as soulmate geese could be.

#falcon #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson #mcu #marvel #falcon falcon goose!#sam wilson imagine #falcon imagine #bucky barnes #please don’t judge this mess

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