#but for the life of me i cannot get my hands on some seeds and it doesn't grow in the wild in my area

[kylopen]

Yes, My lord?

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Brain rotting SMUT, barely any plot, reader is 1 month pregnant (you could probs imagine she is not if you really wanted to) Mentions of body insecurities, super fluffy, Anthony is so whipped for Y/N. Borderline pregnancy/breeding kink? switch reader, switch Anthony. unprotected sex, wrap it before you tap it guys.

Summary: Since finding out you are pregnant Anthony simply cannot keep his hands to himself, and when you turn the tables his arousal runs wild.

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton X Reader

Masterlist

Length: 1.8k words

Note: I could NOT get this scenario out of my head, i had to get this written and published *sobs*

----

"That was a rather delightful evening"

You smile as you and Anthony ascend to your bedchamber for the night. The two of you had planned a ball to tell your family and friends the news of your pregnancy. The night was filled with laughs and joy from the family, excited about Anthony's first child with you.

The two of you approach the door and Anthony opens it for you, ushering you inside.

"Indeed, dear wife."

Anthony's eyes crinkle lightly at the sides as he smiles at you, approaching you from behind, fingers expertly undoing your corset. You sigh in relief, goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of release from your day clothes. Turning to face him you also begin to help Anthony from his clothes as he laughs lightly at your eagerness to help him.

Now nude in the middle of the room, Anthony looks you over in the faint candle light, his hand softly moving along the curves of your body. He follows closely behind as you perch yourself at your vanity, ready to take out your elaborate hairstyle. Anthony's hand gently pushes yours away from your head as he begins to take it out for you, looking at you through the mirror. His gaze was intense but loving, his eyes trained thoroughly on your flustered response to the intimate gesture.

"Look at me"

The sentence was commanding but gentle. You lift your eyes and he reaches for the hairbrush just beside you on the table. he begins slowly brushing your hair, gently getting rid of any knots or tangles. Anthony was always a gentle lover, but immediately after finding out you were carrying his child he became dead set on helping you with what he could. His tender nature shining through as he aids you in your bedtime grooming process. The feeling of his hands softly grazing your neck as he brushes has you in a trance, the soothing feeling of knowing you are safe and well taken care of my a man that loves you.

He begins massaging your scalp carefully as you let out a hum of approval. Anthony lets out a quiet laugh as he watches the bliss form on your face.

"I love you, Mr Bridgerton" you tease his formal name.

"Likewise, Mrs Bridgerton, I will love you for the rest of my life"

Butterflies flutter around in your stomach as you realise just how exposed the two of you are. Then it dawns on you, looking down at your puffy stomach, feeling as though you have already gained some baby weight. It had only been a month and you weren't even really showing yet. A flash of insecurity dances across your features at the thought of getting bigger. At this point, the Viscount could read you like a book and he stops his movements in your hair to lean down and kiss your head.

"Speak what is on your mind, my love"

You think for a second before answering.

"...My... Body..." you trail off.

"You are the most beautiful woman i have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. Even more so now you are carrying our child."

You look down and pinch your widened hips, and in response Anthony moves your hand away, caressing you. He then grabs your hand, pulling you up to stand with his chest touching your back.

"There is nothing more appealing to me than my beautiful wife swelling with my seed..." his eyes darken at the thought as he begins to pepper kisses along your jawline and neck, lightly nipping and sucking and you shiver in his arms.

Heat rushes straight to your cheeks and in between your legs as you feel a solid length press against your lower back. You breath out shakily as he presses it harder against your backside.

"Anthony..." You moan softly, bordering a whimper.

The second he hears his name from your lips in such a tone he struggles to hold back, the heat in the room thickening with lust. He pushes you gently onto the bed and settles himself behind you, spooning you. His slightly rough hand glides slowly up and down your side, upper thigh to hip to shoulders. He caresses every part of your body paying extra attention to the parts you were most conscious about. You let out more whimpers from the intimacy of it all, your face feeling incredibly hot and you squirm under the touch. Your thighs squeeze together to relieve yourself in some way, only making Anthony smirk and his touches becoming more daring. His fingertips ghost along your nipples, but fall back down elsewhere on your body.

"Anthony... I am already-" you shudder as he passes by a particularly sensitive spot. "I am already pregnant..."

His laugh rumbles against your back.

"I am aware. That does not mean we cannot enjoy each others bodies hm, dear?" His tone was devilish as his touches become more bold. You flip onto your back and slightly part your legs with a pleading look to Anthony.

"So needy and impatient Viscountess Bridgerton" He tuts with a smirk.

Deciding to take matters into your own hands you launch up, planting yourself on top of him with heated cheeks. If he will be so cruel and tease you even in his aroused state, you would use him yourself. A look of surprise flashes across his face before it grows into an incredibly cocky looking grin. His body betrays him, as his chest rises and falls at a fast pace.

"What is this? darling wife." he cocks his head to the side, the same grin on his face. His eyes hold a fiery hunger.

"It seems, dear husband-" you adjust yourself just enough to tease his length and he softly moans, "That you enjoy your Lady wife taking control" you smirk, a new found confidence flowing through you at the look of your husband from above him.

He grabs your hips with both hands and grinds your core against him.

"My Lord" you moan, breathless, aware of what the title does to him.

"Y/N... I am warning you-" he begins to speak, using your name but you cut him off, pinning his hands above his head.

"Yes, My Lord?" You smirk at him as you lean in close, your lips ghosting his, only to pull away when he goes in for a kiss. You keep one hand holding his up as your other hand begins exploring your husbands chest, teasing him the way he was teasing you. Your finger lightly brushes against his groin before going up to his nipple, softly pinching the bud and a guttural moan escapes his mouth.

"How improper my Lord" you feign a gasp and he lets out a soft chuckle at your words, enjoying the confidence from his beautiful wife. The thrill and excitement from you pinning his hands above his head is almost too much to bare as he gets impossibly harder against your core. He couldn't dare say it aloud but the feeling of being at your mercy, a simple toy to you made his body weak. He could very easily remove his hands from your grasp and the two of you know it, and yet he does not move.

You plant hot, open mouth kisses on his chiseled chest, your arousal already coating his groin. he shudders under your touch and the wet feeling on his lower torso.

"You seem excited my Lord... Has something got you so?" you cock your head to the side, feigning an innocence and he groans at the sight of the same woman he gave her first orgasm to have him completely at her mercy.

"I could ask you the same thing, My dear" His tease came across in gravelly voice that screamed he was ready to take you here and now.

His cock sandwiched firmly between his abdomen and your wet pussy, you begin to rock your hips back and forward, sliding easily. The pressure on your clit had you whimpering and had him moaning in a deep voice.

"You are going to be the death of me" he looks deep into your eyes as you slide him inside you, the two of you moaning at the feeling. The teasing you both had endured was very clearly affecting you both, being incredibly sensitive.

He watches with hooded eyes as you bring your hand to your clit and begin to stimulate yourself. He could have sworn he died that very moment at the sight. It was not long at all until you came, and he relished in the feeling of your cunt throbbing around him.

"Y/N" He moans, moving his hands to your hips, squeezing the soft flesh.

"Do you wish to finish my Lord?" You smile sweetly.

"Yes I do, my dear" His reply full of lust, and a hint of neediness.

"Beg" The sweetness was immediately replaced with cockiness.

The command was simple but powerful as you look into his eyes, holding his jaw with your hand. He felt a shock wave of pleasure shoot through his body.

"Please..." his flustered face was incredibly cute.

"You can do better than that" you move slightly, to tease the feeling.

"Please! Oh god please" you almost came at the sound of his begs.

"You are free to do so... My Lor-"

Before you could finish your sentence, he sat up, you still on his lap and inside him. His hands grasped at your hips as he bucked up into you, his moans coming out as grunts mixed with whines. Hitting up into your g-spot mixed with his needy grunts and thrusts you came again, causing his orgasm to reach its peak, he continues to bounce you on top of him as he spills his seed deep inside of you.

Anthony falls back, his face delirious and euphoric, yours looking similar as you flop down onto his chest, his cock still buried inside you, slowly softening.

Within minutes he snaps out of it, gently pulling you off him, and onto the bed, approaching a second later with a wet towel he opens your legs and cleans you up, slightly smirking at the mess and your flustered face. after cleaning you up he places a soft kiss to your inner thigh and crawls back into bed with you.

He wraps his arm around your shoulders and you move your head onto his chest, feeling exhausted. The room was filled with your soft snores in no time at all and he places a kiss on top of your head, a smile on his face as he looks at you.

"I am incredibly lucky to have you, my beautiful wife" he whispers before softly touching your stomach.

"And you too, my beautiful baby"

~End~

[draconic-desire]

THE NAIVE DARLINGGGG

I can imagine darling crying into Sunday.. at first refusing going to home, expressing her insecurities. So when Sunday drags her back, she just pleads with Sunday. All darling wants to to serve at least some purpose to Sundays life. She begs Sunday to let her cook for him .. or in her sobbing fit shr muttered how even having Sundays baby would serve some usefullness.. Darling didnt want to seem like a burden to Sunday..

At the mention of babies, Sunday gets the idea of how sweet little children will tie darling to him forever

The baby will come out a lil skrunkly , in a cite way of course <3 a fat plump baby who looks like a dumpling with chicken wings attached to the back of its ear :"(

sunday would 1000% babytrap his darling at some point, you cannot convince me otherwise. but if YOU came to HIM about it? girl bye you’re done for

Yan!Sunday x Fem!Reader

warning: nsfw thoughts from sunday, mentions of pregnancy

After Sunday leads you back home, it doesn’t take long for your thoughts to spiral again.

Walking through the halls of the spacious pavilion, eying the grandeur that is Sunday’s home, pondering his status as the head of the Family…you start to wonder what you bring to the table.

He claims he loves you, that you are unique and irreplaceable, but what does that really mean? You have no money, wealth, or fame, no notable skills that could contribute to the Oak Family lineage.

Well, except…

Your hand falls to your abdomen. It’s something Sunday has mentioned in passing, the need for an heir, the desire to expand his family, but you never thought he meant doing so with you. But perhaps…?

Your head shakes violently, and you turn to wipe away a stray tear. How foolish of you. Sunday doesn’t keep you around for that sort of thing. His hier will be delivered from a queen, befitting of the same status as him, and not some nobody like you.

Like always, Sunday is more attentive than you give him credit for.

He thinks it’s cute, how naive and oblivious you are sometimes. Except when he notices that this time, you are attempting to hide your crying behind the palm on your hand.

“(Y/n), my love, what troubles you?” He gently pulls your hand away from your face and instead turns you to face him.

Seeing him like this, his tender gaze trained on your form alone, suddenly makes you burst into tears.

“S-S-Sunday,” you sob, “please let me help! I’ll do anything!”

He blinks, confusion written across his features. “Help? With what? (Y/n), it’s been a long day, let me take you to bed—”

You clasp his hands in your own, looking up at him with (e/c) eyes brimming with tears. “Please, don’t throw me aside for someone else. I-I promise I’m not a burden. You need an heir, right? So please, let me carry that responsibility.”

He inhales sharply, his amethyst pupils dilating.

…Did he hear you correctly?

You want to have his child?

Sunday momentarily forgets how to breathe.

Oh, how he has fantasized about this very scenario; it has taken all of his willpower to hold back, to fool you into believing his charming, domestic mannerisms, when he truly wishes to claim every part of you, to brand himself upon every inch of your flesh. Lovely, beautiful, naive little you would never expect the dark desires hidden beneath the surface.

In reality, the thought of you begging for his seed permeates his waking and sleeping dreams. He’s lost track of the amount of nights spent with his hand around his cock, picturing your tight cunt wrapped around it instead.

Never would he have imagined you in this position willingly, practically on your knees for him, desperate for his cum, for his child growing in your belly. The idea arouses him more than you can ever know, and he has to shift to hide his growing erection.

Instead, he scoops you into his arms and nuzzles his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent. Oh, how lovely you’re going to smell when you’re glowing and round with his heir! He imagines how adorable his Halovian child will be, and how he wishes to pin a pair of wings behind your ears as well—a matching set for father, mother, and child.

The wings are, of course, the very ones ripped from your own back—you’re just too entranced by Sunday to notice it was he who plucked them from you to begin with.

And now, Sunday is through with holding back. You’re going to be fully and irrevocably his, tied to him forever. Like a fly landing on a venus trap, your own actions seal your fate. You don’t have a moment to react before the jaws of the predator swallow you whole.

“How could I deny you, my angel?” he coos, pacing towards the bedroom as he begins to pry at the buttons of your top. “And what better time to begin than the present, hm?”

[megwritesriddles]

Mike Schmidt NSFW Alphabet

18+ MDNI!!!

A/N: I can't believe how carried away I got with this... can you tell I think about Mike Schmidt a lot...? Also I know I said I wasn't gonna post until maybe June but procrastinating my uni work is a hell of a drug... this time I'm disappearing fr... maybe…

Word count: 4.4k words (omg)

all fandom masterlist | fnaf masterlist

Warnings: fem!reader, period mention, breeding kink/pregnancy mentions (only as fantasy), slight degradation, Mike is bad at feelings, somnophilia (mentioned once in no detail rlly), some pervy behaviour.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I love the guy, but I don’t think he’s great at this. He’d just kinda roll over, maybe keep an arm around you if he’s feeling it. After you’ve been together/hooking up for a long time, I think he might memorise your post-sex routine enough to make sure you have a glass of water on the nightstand beforehand and sleepily remind you: “Aren’t you supposed to go pee or something babe?” in a gruff voice. He’s not pampering or bathing you, but might sit in the bath with you if you run one, and won’t object to holding you in it. If he hurt you in any way, he would apologise and pad away to get you a bag of frozen peas to hold on it. But I can’t really imagine kisses on the boo-boo or cooing as his vibe. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just who he is.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think he takes pride in his arms. He’s not crazy buff, but he’s in shape and has some muscle definition in his arms from his daily push-ups and all the manual labour jobs he’s had to work over the years. He preens whenever he catches you looking at his biceps, going especially crazy if you mention something about them. He likes to show off his strength to you, both in sexy ways, and more mundane ways like coming to help you move furniture. He loves to feel useful, like he’s actually adding something to your life, this is a way he can feel that objectively.

This man is an ASS MAN, I’m sorry but you cannot convince me different. Sure, he likes your boobs, he gets hard when you lean over to grab something and your cleavage is right in his face, but your ass is something else entirely. Obviously he thinks it’s sexy, but he also just likes to rest a hand on it, softly rubbing or squeezing as you stand together in his kitchen or lie together on the couch. He might even be the kind of guy to have a hand in your back pocket in public, although really he’s a bit too reserved for that. He thinks about it, though. Wear some form-fitting clothes or bend over in front of him and you can have him eating out of the palm of your hand (or somewhere else)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I always headcanon Mike as having a breeding kink… idk why. He doesn’t want kids, he has his hands full and wallet stretched thin enough, but he definitely does love to cum inside of you over and over and push his cum back inside of you when it drips out. Sometimes, he might even make comments about how you’d look with a belly swollen with his seed, but quickly regrets the thought once the sex is over. It’s just a fantasy about you, not about actually becoming a parent, he basically already is one.

You better be on the pill or some form of birth control, because he’s feral to come inside of you. If he ever has an opportunity to get a vasectomy (idk how he would but just humour me), he definitely would get one so you two can play about without risk.

If he’s not coming inside of you, I think he’d want it to be in your mouth. He finds it very hot when you swallow everything he gives you, loving when a bit of cum drips down your chin. This will mainly be reserved for quickies though.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Imagining there are no evil animatronics in the equation, he would 100% want to chase you around the abandoned halls of Freddy’s while he’s meant to be working. He’d give you a head start, then chase you down, pinning you to the floor and having his way with you. As much as he plays annoyed, he loves it when you manage to get away halfway through and make him chase you again, both of you laughing from the excitement and adrenaline. He grabs you once more, nipping your neck as you giggle breathlessly. He growls softly, though he can’t keep the amused smile off his face, “I have you now, little bunny,” (or whatever nickname you find hot for this scenario, he’s adaptable).

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Mike can only go one of two ways in my head.

1. He’s basically a virgin. Maybe, had sex once or twice with like a high school girlfriend between when he was kind of healing from the Garrett thing but his parents were still alive, but that’s a big maybe because was he ever healing or acting well-adjusted? probably not. So between being a traumatised, stunted teenager and then an even more traumatised adult who spends all the time he’s not working caring for his little sister, he has no time for dating and struggles to open up to anyone anyway. If he has any experience, I totally see him as being in a multiple year long dry spell by the events of the movie. So very limited experience.

2. Or! Any time he’s free, he goes to a bar and finds a woman to hook up with as a way of coping and keeping his mind off of things. He’s handsome and has a brooding quality about him that works in his favour picking up these women, and he’s never rude or unkind. In fact, honestly, he might hope that each of these hook-ups turns into true love, but of course they don’t, because he can’t be normal about relationships and drives everyone away, unconsciously or not. So he tries again the next week to the same result.

I usually lean towards 1. but I can kind of see either. Either way, he doesn’t have experience with healthy relationships, and if he has any sexual experience, it’s limited to tipsy one night stands or teenage fumbling, so he needs some training when you come along.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary… doggy… cowgirl… all the basics… but you know what he loves? SPOONING! Wrapped around you and pressed against your back while watching a movie, don’t be surprised if he’s pushing down your sweatpants and slipping inside of you in that position. He loves doing it like that on his couch, or even in bed on a rare lazy morning, his lips trailing up and down your neck and shoulder, his chest warm against your back, his arms wrapped around you tightly, one hand sneaking down your tummy to your clit. He loves it. It gives you the perfect opportunity to tease him when he climbs behind you into bed after his night shift, pressing your ass back and wiggling it against his crotch until he gives in and pulls your sleep shorts to the side for a sleepy fuck. To him it’s like cuddling, which he already enjoys, but with benefits. And he doesn’t have to worry about the faces he’s making, which he feels a bit embarrassed by no matter how many times you say it’s hot.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s serious, teasing or self-deprecating when you’re just making out and he’s lamenting how fast you got him hard again, or teasing you affectionately for being a ‘needy slut’ as you grind back against him for the second time that night, or he finally pins you down against the floor of Freddy’s, but during the deed he is focused and mostly quiet other than groans and grunts.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I don’t think he grooms down there. He washes well so he sees no problem, maybe trimming if it’s causing any sort of issues. He’s not a person who cares much about appearances or presentation, so as long as it’s practical (clean) it doesn’t have to be pretty. He doesn’t care what you’ve got going on down there, as long as you also keep clean. In fact honestly if you were clean shaven or waxed, I think he’d talk you into going natural because ‘who has the time or energy?’. A little hair never stopped him from enjoying his favourite meal anyway.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Depends what your relationship is. I think he can be quite quick and detached if you’re just hooking up, whether it’s natural to him that way or he’s forcing himself to act cool is a different issue. So when he’s starts cradling your cheeks and saying how pretty you are during sex, instead of his usual gruff and clipped dirty talk, you’re immediately suspicious that he’s developed feelings, despite his own obliviousness and confusion when you try to confront him about his change in behaviour.

In a relationship he’s a bit softer, but still more closed off than most. He’ll say you’re beautiful and he loves you, then blush, even if he’s said it a hundred times before. He’ll take more time with you if you’re together, not rushing either of you toward the finish line to avoid getting attached (not that it would work anyway) and rather savouring the closeness. He’s shyer voicing his fantasies in an actual relationship than he is dirty talking with a hook-up, because frightening you away is not an option. His breeding kink sounds much more romantic when he whispers it to you slowly and slightly nervously while stroking your cheek.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t get that many opportunities to get off on his own (he’s a busy guy) but whenever he does, he’s taking it, wasting no time and going as many times as he possibly can, because who knows the next time he’ll have this chance? He’s almost certainly thinking about you as he does this, even if you aren’t together yet. Those little outfits you wear to watch Abby/work at the mall/wherever he meets you just drive him so wild and all your social media accounts are conveniently public for his viewing pleasure.

Once he has you around, this is much less urgent. The time he gets alone is now spent calling you and getting you to come over, or showing up unannounced at your place to hump like animals. He will always prefer being with you over using his hand, so his hand essentially retires.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink as I’ve said. Dare I say… a bit of somno.... he doesn’t mind if he’s the one asleep or not, he just finds it hot. Chasing prey as I also mentioned before, chasing you around and pinning you down, though it’s more playful than serious roleplay, just to get the adrenaline pumping.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Couch!! He has such a couch sex vibe and you can’t tell me different!!! But he also likes the bed, or the wall or floor at Freddy’s when you’re alone there together. He’s too reserved for anything exhibitionistic beyond the abandoned Freddy’s building at night, and I think he’d prefer to keep you to himself anyway.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you bend over or wear a tight skirt or leggings or something that highlights your ass. When you highlight other parts of your body with clothes or positions, like being sprawled out on the couch when he gets home. When you wriggle against him as you cuddle. When you play coy and shy around him or run away just to tease him. When you rub his back after he’s had a rough day at work. When he catches you admiring his arms. When you tell him you’ve missed him in that whiney voice. The list goes on…

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Probably anything overly gross and messy. 1. Because he’s not into it. 2. Because he doesn’t have the time or energy to clean up afterwards. He might consider period sex if he's just about to put a load of towels in the laundry anyway, but if it creates extra work, he's not really up for it. Time is precious and he's a little lazy.

I think he'd be willing to give you a little spanking if you were into it, a little bit of degradation (but affectionately) calling you desperate and slut and such (I think he'd kind of like it if you called him a slut too when he's acting like one, he's happy that he's comfortable enough around you to act that way, or if you say "God, Mike, you're so easy," when he gets hard from something simple and innocuous). He won't slap your face, or choke you, or do anything crazy rough to you. He's not into seeing you in pain, in fact, it actively turns him off and makes him uncomfortable. He's quite playful during foreplay (once he's comfortable with you) so back-and-forth teasing and a (non-painful) slap on your ass is more his thing. Even his chasing kink is more about play than fear.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Mike likes a blowjob as much as any other stressed 20-something guy would. He loves seeing you on your knees, looking up at him with your sweet eyes. He'll play with your hair while you're down there, and maybe guide you by it if you're into that. If not, he's happy to just sit back and let you work your magic. For some reason, I headcanon that the first sexual experience he has with you is a blowjob. You're just hanging out/at work/whatever and you're sick of the tension, so get down on your knees in front of him. Who the hell is he to say no to that?

This is NOT to say he doesn't like giving, because he does, I think he even surprises himself by how much he enjoys it. He enjoys feeling useful as I've said before, so watching you feel so good from his ministrations is a thrill. He might use it to get his way a bit, kneeling in front of you a little while after an argument and silently kissing up your inner thighs, knowing you'll give in to him and forgive him for being an idiot. It's also something he does whenever he gets jealous or insecure that you might leave him. It's like he's reminding both himself and you of what you have together and what he can do to you.

He would definitely enjoy a sixty-nine (with you on top), bringing you pleasure only heightens his, and he enjoys when you get all sloppy and whiney on his cock as he brings you to your peak. Will massage your ass as you sit on his face, he would happily die crushed between your thighs.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I kind of see him as being slow and rough, you know? Deep measured thrusts, watching your expression each time he's buried to the hilt. Of course, he picks up the pace a bit toward the orgasm, but I don't think he's ever crazy fast. Lazy sex is his favourite, so he's mostly pretty laid-back in his pace, but no less intense.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's definitely up for a quickie, more often than not, a quickie before work or on the couch while Abby is safely away and asleep is all he has the time for, so they're fairly frequent. He does prefer taking a bit more time with you, so when he can make the time for a longer session, he's happier, but he's also just glad he's getting any action from you at all, so he's not complaining.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think so, but not crazily so. He knows what he likes and doesn't like, so has some hard boundaries set, but that's not to say he wouldn't try a few things. Handcuffs, blindfolds, acting more dominant or submissive than usual and roleplay (although his acting would be super stiff) would all be things I think he'd be willing to give a go. Who knows? He might incorporate them into your sex life, or quietly tell you that he didn't really enjoy that much.

Risk-wise, a risk he would absolutely NOT take, is the potential to be walked in on by Abby. Couch sex is only fine because you can keep a blanket over you and her room is all the way down the hall so you have time to get decent before she could see anything, plus she's always asleep when you do that anyway, it's never during the day unless she's away at school. He will not take risks in regards to that, and hopefully you wouldn't want to either. You keep quiet and there's a lock on his bedroom door just in case.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I think he does one round at a time. He might go a few times in a day, but there'll be a good break in between rounds. He can maybe push for two in a row on a special day, but more than that is physically not possible for him back to back. He'll happily make you come over and over though.

Unfortunately for Mike, I think he can finish prematurely quite often... he will definitely make up for it with you, but especially in the beginning, it was over quite fast. He's sheepish about it, yet tries to pretend he doesn't care and keeps going with pleasuring you however he chooses to do it, but the slight pink at the tips of his ears gives away his embarrassment. On the flipside, on days he's extremely stressed, he might have quite a struggle to come, and you'll have to stop several times to get him to relax his muscles and take a few deep breaths. Generally though, once you've been hooking up for a while, he'll come at an appropriate time and you can properly enjoy the experience together.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I go back and forth between the idea of him having a fleshlight before he met you. I mean, since I usually headcanon that he was in a dry spell, but he's also a 20-something virile young man, I think it makes sense that he needed some sort of outlet for stress release. He would probably be really embarrassed about buying it, even though the person behind the counter couldn't give less of a shit, then he feels so weird about it that it just sits under his bed in its box for a month or two while he uses his hand. Finally when he does use it (maybe because he wants to pretend it's you) it feels really good, but he feels totally lame afterwards. Still, after that, he uses it every chance he gets, because he spent the money after all, even if it makes him feel like a loser. The second you start to sleep together, he's happy to hide it under his bed again to collect dust like it never existed. Though he might let you watch him use it, if you're into that. (Disregard this if you headcanon him as having hooked up with women from the bar)

I think he might kind of enjoy having you sitting between his legs, your back to his chest, with him holding a vibrator against your clit, his other hand softly kneading your breasts and his lips suckling your neck. Or just holding one to your clit while he fucks you. He finds it super hot if you tell him you used a dildo on yourself and imagined him before you were sleeping together, but he doesn't want to use it on you. Why use a dildo when he has a perfectly good cock right here? (Not related to toys but he loves to hear about fantasies you had about him before you were together, it makes him super hot and bothered, he loves to know that you wanted him as much as he wanted you).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Once he's comfortable with you and sure that you're probably going to stick around even if he acts a little annoying, he can be very teasing. Like I've said a few times, I think (when he's comfortable) he's actually very playful with foreplay and the other things leading up to sex. He enjoys a bit of 'banter' or playfully swatting your ass. If you proposition him he might tease you and tell you to beg for it, but actually during sex, I don't think he's that teasing. He wants to make you happy and he wants to be happy as well, and to him, teasing usually only pushes that back, so he also doesn't like you teasing him that much. But definitely just throughout the day, like if you're cooking or doing laundry, he might just come up and rub against you from behind, kiss your neck, murmur a few dirty words and then walk away leaving you wanting so that you'll chase after him for more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's pretty quiet, out of both necessity and just his nature. He will grunt and groan quietly, maybe the occasional small choked-out gasp when something surprises him or feels just right. He's up for a little bit of dirty talk or praise during sex, but it's very short and hushed. He isn't a babbler, and the better he feels, probably the less likely he is to talk. So he might whisper a few dirty things right as you get started, but as he approaches orgasm, he goes silent other than his pleased grunts and listens to whatever sounds you're making. He loves hearing your pleasure (as long as you keep relatively quiet, even when you're home alone I think shouting and screaming might freak him out a little), but he loves mewls of his name or soft praise/dirty talk from you. I think he'd find it kind of cute if you were the opposite of him and tended to babble as you came.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He's definitely the kind of guy to tell you that you're just hooking up and it's not serious, even though he's already fallen completely in love with you. I see him (maybe because of fanfic) getting into a friends-with-benefits arrangement with Abby's babysitter, and even letting her live in his spare room and spending every moment together, cuddling up every night, even pecking and holding hands in front of Abby, and not realising he's actually in a relationship, because he's too scared to actually say the words. You just let it be because, he's treating you well, he's not cheating on you, the sex is great, he's just oblivious to his own feelings. One day a coworker of his bumps into you in the grocery store and sees you all over each other, then asks Mike the next day about his 'girlfriend'.

"Girlfriend? What girlfr- ohhh... I see what I've done,"

A nsfw headcanon is that if you lived together, or even if you were just around enough to leave some clothes around occasionally, he is DEFINITELY stealing your panties. He's a bit of a perv (though he does feel ashamed of it), but is unaware how much you're aware of it, and how much you like it. It's just a little too easy for him to get his hands on your panties, but he doesn't realise to question it. Another one and this is so random, I feel like he tries to stay away from pornography, and if he does interact with it, it's like vintage or like old playboy type magazines. lol idk why?? and it's all kept very secretively in boxes under the bed... I think Mike carries a lot of shame tbh...

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I've mentioned earlier that I think he has decent biceps. He would have broad strong arms (even stronger than they look, and they look pretty good), but not much muscle elsewhere. He has a little fat around his belly from eating pretty badly for years, but nothing too significant. Downstairs-wise, he's probably quite girthy, average to slightly larger than average length. No matter what he's like under his boxers, I think he's a little insecure about it, having convinced himself there's something wrong because he hasn't ever really had much comparison (staying away from porn), and anyone he's slept with (if with anyone) hasn't mentioned anything about it, so he assumes they were disappointed, when really there was just nothing to say, as saying 'hey nice cock,' is kind of weird and he had no particular features there to remark on.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High, he's young, he's stressed, he's repressed and you are just so attractive to him that it's hard not to want it a few times a day. A good thing about him is that if he gets horny and you're not in the mood, he can quite easily bury the feeling for later, used to hardly having appropriate time to get off so having to ignore his arousal. I would guess you guys are doing it every morning and every evening most days, but this can change with your schedule and cycle. Special days eg. Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's or anniversaries always include sex in the celebrations in Mike's book.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Mike is weird because sex in the morning energises him, but sex in the evening makes him doze off almost immediately. He can finish up with you and immediately head for work, and then later the same day be practically catatonic after orgasming, wrapping around you ready to sleep, groaning and complaining when you try to get him to move from the couch to his bed. It just depends on the time of day, but sex with you is definitely his new sleeping pill of choice.

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[thefloatingstone]

"And Then There was Silence" by Blind Guardian is a 14 minute song that documents the events of the Iliad poem by Homer.

Although the song shifts POVs multiple times throughout it, it's meant to represent the Prophet Cassandra's premonition of the fall of Troy.

Somebody actually combined the song with lyrics on screen with the movie "TROY" which is NOT a good movie (if only because it completely leaves out a lot of the gay relationships of the original) but it helps explains the lyrics within context of the Iliad itself.

The OP says: "The lyrics also mention some scenes from the Trojan cycle which did not make it into the movie. Most notably, these are the sacrifice of Iphigenia (1:21) and the Judgment of Paris (5:16). I considered using classical paintings and mosaics to illustrate these scenes, but in the end I decided to keep a more consistent imagery by only using scenes from the movie."

Lyrics in text below the cut because it's FOURTEEN MINUTES LONG

Turn your head and see the fields of flame

He carries along From a distant place, he's on his way He'll bring decay (Don't move along cause things they will go wrong The end is getting closer day by day) In shades of grey We're doomed to face the night Light's out of sight

Since we've reached the point of no return We pray for starlight, we wait for the moon The sky is empty, alone in the unknown We're getting nowhere

We have been betrayed by the wind and the rain The sacred halls empty and cold The sacrifice made should not be done in vain Revenge will be taken by Rome

We live a lie Under the dying moon Pale faced laughs doom Indulges in delight It's getting out of hand The final curtain will fall Hear my voice There is no choice There's no way out You'll find out

We don't regret it So many men have failed, but now he's gone Go out and get it The madman's head, it shall be thine We don't regret it That someone else dies hidden in disguise Go out and get it Orion's hound shines bright

Don't you think it's time to stop the chase Around the ring Just stop running, running Round the ring Don't you know that fate has been decided By the gods Feel the distance, distance Out of reach

Welcome to the end Watch your step, Cassandra, you might fall As I've stumbled on the field Sister mine Find myself in darkest places Find myself drifting away (Death's a certain thing) And the otherworld, the otherworld appears

Find myself, she dies in vain Cannot be freed, I'm falling down As time runs faster, moves towards disaster The ferryman will wait for you, my dear

And then there was silence Just a voice from the otherworld Like a leaf in an icy world Memories will fade

Misty tales and poems lost All the bliss and beauty will be gone May my weary soul find release for a while At the moment of death I will smile It's the triumph of shame and disease In the end (Iliad)

Raise my hands and praise the day Break the spell, show me the way In decay The flame of Troy will shine bright

The newborn child would carry ruin to the hall The newborn's death will be a blessing to us all

Good choice, bad choice? Out of three you've choosen misery Power and wisdom you deny Bad choice, bad choice War is the only answer When love will conquer fear

So the judgment's been made To the fairest, the graceful says Badly he fails

(Warning) Fear the heat of passion, father king Don't let him in, don't let her in Desire, lust, obssession, death they'll bring We can't get out once they are in

She's like the sunrise Outshines the moon at night Precious like starlight She'll bring in a murderous price

In darkness grows the seed of man's defeat Jealousy I can clearly see the end now I can clearly see the end now I can clearly see the end now

The thread of life is spun The coin's been placed below my tongue Never give up, never give in Be on our side so we can win Never give up, never give in Be on our side

Old moon's time is soon to come

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide Nothing to lose, like one we'll stand We'll face the storm created by man

Roar, Roar, Roar, Roar

(Troy, Troy, Troy, Troy) And as the lion slaughters man I am the wolf and you're the lamb

Hallowed Troy shall fall Round the wall Faith is shattered, bodies fall

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide Nothing to lose, like one we'll stand It's all for one and one for all All we live for will be wiped out

I feel that something's wrong Surprise, surprise they're gone Full moon, your time goes by A new moon's still kept out of sight

(We live) Misty tales and poems lost (We die) All the bliss and beauty will be gone May my weary soul find release for a while At the moment of death I will smile It's the triumph of shame and disease In the end (Iliad)

Raise my hands and praise the day Break the spell, show me the way In decay The flame of Troy will shine bright

Roam in darkness Spread the vision We will be lost if you truly believe

Troy in darkness There's a cold emptiness in our hearts That they've gone away And won't come back

They'll tear down the wall to bring it in They'll truly believe in the lie Lie, lie With blossoms they'll welcome the old foe

The vision's so clear When day and dream unite The end is near You'd better be prepared

The nightmare shall be over now There's nothing more to fear Come join in our singing and dance with us now The nightmare shall be over now There's nothing more to fear The war, it is over, forevermore

No hope, the blind leads the blind Carry on, though future's denied Mare or stallion, there's far more inside We're in at the kill We'll cheerfully die

Misty tales and poems lost All the bliss and beauty will be gone May my weary soul find release for a while At the moment of death I will smile It's the triumph of shame and disease In the end (Iliad)

Raise my hands and praise the day Break the spell, show me the way In decay The flame of Troy will shine bright

Holy light shines on

So the judgement's been made We're condemned though the trial's far ahead The crack of doom Father, your handsome son is heading home

Still the wind blows Calm and silent Carries news from a distant shore (Heading home) (repeat 2x)

Out of mind Can't get it Can't get it out of my head Sorrow and defeat Sorrow and defeat

[chrolloluvr]

Hi, happy to see you back❤. I remember in one of your previous works, you mentioned Mammon possibly would babytrap reader. May you please write something on this topic?

♡ Toxic!Mammon: Babytrapping Hcs ♡

Note: Ty! Also she is referring to this post. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REQUESTS!!! KEEP THEM COMING POOKIES! ALSO IK I HAVENT MADE AN ACTUAL POST IN A WHILE SO HERE YALL GO

Female!reader, AFAB

Warnings: NSFW, toxic themes, creampie, future child, exploiting

He will babytrap you, 100%

As I have said before, Mammon likes the idea of having complete control over you, your life, and everything you do. And what better of a way to do that than making you bear his child?

He gets this magical, invasive idea when talking to one of his work buddies. He was talking about how annoying you were, even though he cannot live without you, when his co-worker mentions how much responsibility and care a woman has for her children. And the idea hits him. If you are just going to sit around lazily all day like a spoiled brat, why not add a child into the mix?

So he will have you prowled up against his chest, his cock basically stuffing you full, as he pistons in and out of your already sore pussy. Seemingly out of nowhere, telling you

"You'd be such a good mother, wouldn't you babe."

"'Wanna see you swoll with my kids, wouldn't that be somethin'-"

Which makes you feel physically ill. Raising a child with Mamm would be basically impossible. You would never raise a child with this man. Would he support you? Would he genuinley care for your baby? Oh Satan, would he even care-

Your thoughts are abrupted as Mammon stuffs you with his seed, finishing inside yours walls and painting them with a loud groan. He gives your ass a harsh slap, as he watches his cum spilling out of you. He looks you in the eyes, and gives you a daunty chuckle. He forces you to look up at him with your tired, exhausted eyes, as he tells you ohoho babe, we aren't finished until i'm done, alright?.

And he keeps that promise, with the goal of getting you pregnant. He knows the public would go feral. The King of Greed? With a child? It gives him a publicity boost, which in turn, is good for his business, and his image.

Once you find out you are pregnant, you have to eventually tell Mammon, to your dismay. Every day, he makes you take an on brand pregnancy test as he watches. He will hold the test while you pee. Yes you heard me right. So when the test says positive one day, he is over the moon. Not at the fact that he is going to be a father, but at the fact that he is now in complete control over you, and that he can use another part of you as a pawn in his twisted fantasy.

The paparazzi have a field day over this news, because he ends up almost immediately making an announcement. There are headlines, candid photos of you going forcefully outside by mammon, etc. Its like a never ending nightmare. And dont be mistaken, he would never let you out of his sights, or get an abortion. He thinks this is too good of an opportunity.

Behind closed doors, he will actually treat you very well. Feeding you, paying attention to your every need, and not letting you lift a finger. He may even go out of his way to find some stuff by himself at the store. He'll will make you go outside with him. But at times he has to do a meeting, or host an event, he will have his goons escort you places, making sure you go public routes, to get a really good look at your swollen belly.

Brings you to meetings during this time, and picking your outfits carefully. He cant have his darling wearing any disgusting maternity clothes. So he will have you perches on his lap while he sits in his seat, embarrassment eating you whole as you see the sins/overlords snickering and bickering presumably at you. He has one hand rubbing your round belly, and one hand rubbing your shoulders as Mammon discusses his newest buisness plan.

He would create a Mammon Baby Care line. He knows he will profit off your pregnancy

"Alright fellas, so i was thinking for the ladys, a Mammon breast pump, hm? Its great right? Oh! And Mammon themed bibs, ha! Sure to make me a bunch, right babes?"

People think, how could you let Mammon knock you up? Of course, millions of girls idolize Mammon, and would want to be with him. But sometimes it feels like you are the only one who is infatuated with him. So you will try to look past the fact that he got you pregnant. You'll just try to be hopeful. But it is literally impossible with the way he keeps sweet talking you, as you snap back into the sad reality that you will be having Mammons child, and raising it. No questions to be asked.

He will lead you to subconsciously feel insecure about you and your body. He will squeeze your newly chubby cheeks, glaze his fingers over your stretch marks newly littering your body, etc. And he definitely does that on purpose.

As you reach up to the half full Nutella jar in the high cabinet in the kitchen, you hear a pair of loud footsteps coming behind you. Its Mammon. You try your best to ignore him, but you cant help but feel uneasy when you feel a pair of familiar eyes on you. It is currently 1:30 AM, and he is in a really tired mood.

"You need help sweets?"

He said with a suckle voice, knowing its affects on you are vast. He looks you up and down, admiring your perfect body in his mind. Your curves, belly, and the look your giving him. It makes him want to just bend you over and fuck your brains out likes theres no tomorrow. But he cant, he just has to be extra agile with you.

"Mamm..."

"Yeah?"

"Do I look fat?"

Ohhh boy. The question you always ask when you feel like he's eyeing you up. he hates when you ask that, because then he has to make up some half assed excuse to why he's looking at you a certain way. When your pregnant, he basically has to walk on eggshells around you.

"You... look like your carrying my child, and I like the sight of that."

"Okay, do you love me?"

He pauses. One wrong answer, and you'll refuse to talk to him for weeks. You two, as of your relationship, are in a really good spot right now. You will basically do anything for him. But you are really sensitive emotionally and physically, due to your hormones.

As he walks up behind you, he lifts you up by your waist, and hold you up to the cabinet, letting you reach.

"Y/N."

He says in a low, gruff voice.

"Yeah Mamm?"

"What the hell kind of question is that. Of course I love you."

He says as you look at him, face to face. You watch his eyes never leave yours, which makes you break off eye contact in a flustered state. You then realize that he is holding you, which makes you feel insecure.

"Okay, I love you too Mamm"

"Alright, now get your sweet treat, and get the fuck to bed, and hurry up. We've got a busy day tomorrow sweets."

He sets you down, and leaves the kitchen, leaving you with yourself, your Nutella and a spoon in hand. You look down at yourself, and your huge stomach. You wonder how you got yourself into this twisted predicament. You mostly worry about your baby's future as Mammons child. Because you are aware that Mammon will only use them for his own monetary gain. You cannot escape this man, even if you try. But you can always pretend you have your own free will, and you could always just eat your silly thoughts away, as Mammon always told you.

[tinartss]

some of tin's fav haikavetham fics (fic rec list!)🍓🍓

hello all i've always wanted to make a fic rec list and i feel like i've collected enough hkvh fics to make one now LOL most definitely i am forgetting to include a lot but here are a few of my faves!

notes:

check tags before reading👍

most if not all are sfw bc that is my vibe

sorted from least recent -> most recent

was gonna add little comments to each but i'm now realizing that would take up a huge amt of space so. just know that all of these changed the trajectory of my life. thank u fic authors for all u do🫶

then who? by heartslogos (T, 27k)

“Let me,” Kaveh would say with his eyes, his head, his hands. Let him what? Let him in, let him speak, let him stay, let him touch and see and listen — All of the above. Has it not always been so, the two of them like this, Kaveh and Al-Haitham? Kaveh: not quite asking, not quite taking. Al-Haitham: not quite answering, not quite offering. - Al-Haitham has been confined to bed-rest for a month. Kaveh assists. Al-Haitham recovers, they both do.

Asked and Answered by heartslogos (T, 55k)

It begins in the House of Daena, or at least, Kaveh thinks that that’s where it should begin. If one were to trace the flow of events backwards, it would lead to this moment. If Kaveh were Al-Haitham, he would insist on going further back. Further. Further. Further. All the way back, to the literal beginning of all of time and creation, possibly. But Kaveh’s brain only has enough room for so many creations at any given moment, and the works of others — while inspiring — historically don’t get students passing grades. Or even grades at all. When thinking about one’s relationship with their soulmate, it seems natural to think to a first meeting. A first introduction. Well. This can be said for any relationship. It all begins with that first brush — a name, given; a silhouette, glanced; a voice, heard.

the truest forms of love by heartslogos (T, 29k)

“Nahida said that the moment you touch the seeds is the moment you must stop speaking,” the Traveler says to him, standing between Al-Haitham and the door of the simple, small hut that is to become his and Kaveh’s for the foreseeable future. “Is there anything else you want to say?” The beak of the swan is foreign, cool and strange. Al-Haitham struggles not to flinch away from it as it slides along the side of his jaw, his cheek — imploring and fretful. One last and ineffective plea. Al-Haitham feels the warm weight of solid muscle around his neck, his shoulders — the fidget of wings, the beat of a heart. Al-Haitham’s fingers sink into soft feathers and the bones and muscles of a bird shift against his hands as he holds Kaveh close. What is there to say? Why bother to say something to someone who cannot say anything back? “Stand aside,” Al-Haitham says, slowly lowering Kaveh to the ground. “The sooner I begin, the sooner it ends.” - A story loosely based on the fairy tale of "The Six Swans".

house of cards by luminvies (T, 21k)

There is a scrap of parchment he'd created and abandoned all the way back when the two had been attending the Akademiya together. Sometime between then and the first month he has to move in with Al-Haitham, the list gets crossed out, scribbled over, crumpled up, carefully unfolded again, and revised. The working title for his tireless troubles: Ten Reasons You Cannot, Under Any Circumstances, Fall In Love With Al-Haitham.

…And how Kaveh falls anyway.

through the grapevine by katarasvevo (G, 3.8k)

Theories are passed around in the form of whispers: Professor Alhaitham probably said something that angered Professor Kaveh. Professor Kaveh, unable to let the insult slide, decided to take revenge by interrupting his precious class time. A prediction goes around that in less than ten seconds, Professor Alhaitham will proceed to offend Professor Kaveh even more with a tactless comment, which will lead to Professor Kaveh and Professor Alhaitham murdering each other. The whole class will walk out today without needing to write the test, having been traumatized by the tragic demise of the two professors. It is not a very pleasant line of thought, but it is sadly the only logical outcome.

In which everyone is convinced Professor Alhaitham and Professor Kaveh are sworn enemies, unaware that their relationship isn’t at all what it seems.

the kübler-ross model on romance by luminvies (T, 10.8k)

Kaveh smiles up at the stranger. "Sorry, he's right! I am taken. By him. But he doesn't know it yet." What. "Wait, what did you mean by that?" Al-Haitham asks faintly. "Oh, that?" Kaveh scoffs. "You're a little dense. Obviously, I meant exactly what I said. I wouldn't want to be kept by anybody but you." "But we are—" Al-Haitham trips over his words, trailing behind Kaveh as he walks purposefully through the city. "We aren't. Together. Neither of us has confirmed anything of the sort." Kaveh gives him a derisory look. "And what, we don't act like it? Some things don't have to be put into words to be understood. Ah, I forgot. Haravatat. You probably wouldn't accept anything else any other way." "It is not logical to make assumptions without empirical evidence." "You scholarly types," Kaveh mutters. "Always so particular."

So. Al-Haitham is in love with Kaveh. This has got to be somebody's fault.

Cue the five stages of grief.

The Fall by heartslogos (M, 131k)

In the third generation of Lord Sangemah Bays when all is but a dream, Lord Kusanali, from their divine seat in the Sanctuary of Surasthana stirs and reaches their hands to the sky. They arrange their fingers to capture a square of sky, humming and singing to themselves as they put the patch of star and moon and cloud through the divine calculus before they translate it into the tongues of men to be made knowable, and perhaps even understandable — and with great fortune, actionable. “Summon the court,” Lord Kusanali says, “The Third Face of God has spoken. Hear the Word through me and make your peace. For the God Kings only ever speak thrice on any given subject.” The court of Sumeru crowds the Sanctuary of Surasthana. “That which waits in the Palace of Alcazarzaray can only be absolved through a union of souls and an exchange of hearts, a lifelong journey that ends only in death.” Lord Kusanali translates. And then, beatific, “What you need is a wedding.”

set alight by celestialfics (T, 2.3k)

Since he was young, Alhaitham has followed a self-imposed, unspoken rule not to touch other people unless strictly necessary. Over the years, there have been two exceptions. One was his grandmother, whose side he would cling to as she read him books on the living room couch. She would pet his hair, and he’d lean into the touch, not unlike a kitten blissfully being groomed by its mother. The other exception was an Akademiya upperclassman named Kaveh.

transparent night by kurigohan_to_kamehameha (G, 9.4k)

“Sir, kindly do not obstruct us,” says the matra sharply. “We are in the midst of carrying out an arrest.” “An arrest?” repeats Kaveh, incredulously. “You’re arresting him? You’re arresting him? Why, what in Teyvat has he done?” The Archon Rescue Operation is going as smoothly as it possibly can — that is, until Kaveh returns prematurely from his desert trip, and runs into Alhaitham at the absolute worst possible moment. Of course he would.

this is what happens in the absence of small-talk by pencanze (T, 17k)

Haitham and Kaveh, whose travels are leading them in opposite directions, meet as strangers in a caravanserai—a travelers’ guest house. Because even opposite directions have a point of intersection or overlap, don’t they? Some might even call that point a headfirst collision. And another thing about opposite directions: they still run in parallel, even long after they’ve crossed.

trishna by kurigohan_to_kamehameha (T, 8.2k)

Down the seventh-floor passage in Vahumana, past the statue of the sage Zolfikar, and behind the third door from the left; inside a small, abandoned seminar room in the Sumeru Akademiya is a mirror cursed to show the viewer their heart’s deepest desire. Kaveh’s father smiles at him, slowly, so Kaveh can see it happen; the corners of his mouth quirk upwards and his eyes twinkle. He’s moving, alive. Kaveh hasn’t seen his father smile – not the expression itself, preserved in an old Kamera shot he kept in his sketchbook, but the very action of smiling – in almost ten years. An Alhaitham/Kaveh X Mirror of Erised AU

if they ask my gain from this world’s harvest by patchy (T, 16k)

In the silence that follows, Alhaitham seems to interpret the end of the conversation. He takes a step back into his bedroom and starts to shut the door. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” Kaveh forces out, his voice cracking embarrassingly. The door pauses in its trajectory. Kaveh takes a deep breath. “But this is the last time,” he continues in a lower voice. “I’ll be out of your space by the end of the month.” Alhaitham pushes open the door.

The House, The Home, You and Me by sonotfine (G, 11.9k)

Alhaitham's books-hoarding situation continued to grow out of control. Kaveh magnanimously decided to offer to build a new house for him, with enough space for his ego and the books too. This was fine by Alhaitham. And, of course, he wanted it to be a house for two. -- On moving out of the old, moving on to the new, and moving forward together.

what it means to point true by luminvies (T, 9.8k)

It is biologically impossible for a man to replicate technological functions. As much as Kaveh (and colleagues) like calling Al-Haitham an index of niche and generally insignificant information on legs, he will never quite live up to the title. Here's a novel one: people must have taken to thinking of him as a human compass because they always seem to come to him when they're looking for Kaveh.

is that what I look like? by kurigohan_to_kamehameha (T, 3,8k)

Alhaitham grows a beard. Why? Who knows.

Three or Four (Or Possibly Five) Easy Steps to Living Harmoniously With Your Roommate by Bgtea (T, 28.7k)

The truth of the matter is, Kaveh has no idea how to read Alhaitham. He prides himself on being an expert at understanding people, his empathetic heart lending him the capacity to relate deeply with those around him (oftentimes to his detriment). But with Alhaitham, there is nothing for him to read; no clues from his cool expression for him to grasp. The man appears stoic all the time even during their petty bickering. Honestly, when was the last time Kaveh has seen the man do anything except smirk or frown? Does Alhaitham feel happiness? Has he ever seen the man laugh? Kaveh's mind is drawing a blank on the latter and it...bothers him deeply. -- Kaveh devises a plan to get Alhaitham to smile by being aggressively nice to the man (and also maybe if he makes Alhaitham happy, he can score a discount on his rent or something). Alhaitham thinks Kaveh ate some mind-altering mushrooms and is, understandably, confused and mildly afraid.

in weal and in woe by kurigohan_to_kamehameha (G, 26.7k)

“Oh, right – Alhaitham.” Kaveh claps a hand to his forehead. “Cyno, if you see him at the Akademiya tomorrow, don’t mention this to him, would you? I haven’t told him yet.”

“Told him?” Cyno asks slowly, a wary glint in his eye. “What exactly haven’t you told him?” “That I’m getting married,” Kaveh grimaces. “I wanted to tell him myself – I suppose I do want him at the wedding after all, you know – but I didn’t get a chance yet. You know what it’s like, trying to have a conversation with him.” It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Kaveh is a single man. That's about it, really. or: the one in which Kaveh gets married, but not to whom you think.

the hypothetical shore by heartslogos (T, 10k)

When Al-Haitham was still a student in the Akademiya he wore his hair long. As long as Kaveh’s is now, perhaps a little longer than that, even. But unlike Kaveh's, Al-Haitham’s hair was just as quiet as he was, just as cool — like a stream of silver water, fresh from the mountain pass. To this day Kaveh remembers the exact moment he thought he might be falling in love with Al-Haitham and that, perhaps, it might not be such a terrible thing.

de insomniis by liyuen (M, 32k)

Kaveh and Alhaitham live together. Nothing ever happens. Nothing ever hurts. But sometimes, when Kaveh watches Nahida idly finish her homework, he gets the feeling that he’s forgetting something important.

Kaveh must have fallen asleep at his desk again, the morning light hitting his eyes like a slap. He blinked at the soft green blanket over his shoulders. When he stumbled into the hall, Alhaitham was sitting in the living quarters with his back to him, soundproof earpieces alit. He had a stupid moment where he wanted to call out to Alhaitham. What would he even say? ‘I’m having some trouble.’ ‘Is the blanket yours?’ ‘You were right, I’m in over my head.’ ‘Can you hear me out?’ ‘Help me. Please, help me.’ Stupid. He yawned and went to stumble his way to the kitchen. From his periphery, he thought he saw Alhaitham turn towards him with a look like he wanted to say something. But that, too, surely was just a very nice dream.

The Importance of Interruption by theSealby (T, 8.6k)

Years. It has been years, yet it could’ve been yesterday they were sitting side by side, thigh to thigh, eye to eye, filled with a contentment that their future selves have lost. Maybe it would be enough to have that again. Maybe correctness has no place here—has never been the ultimate goal between them—and Alhaitham finds himself asking a very different question than intended. “How would you like to come home?” ✥ Alhaitham loathes interruptions. (All except one).

To Dream in Shades of Green by Intensely_Reading (T, 55k)

“There are three suitors who you can romance in this game. You must complete all your requirements with one of them." “Who are the three potential suitors?” Kaveh asks warily. “Your three suitors are Tighnari, the blunt Palace Chamberlain; Cyno, the standoffish Captain of the Royal Guard; and Al-Haitham, the acerbic Duke of Vultur Volans.” There's a new invention from the Yae Publishing House that turns a user's dreams into light novel stories. Kaveh has the (un)fortunate pleasure of being one of its first users. Too bad it dumped him in a romance game.

The Theorem of Narrow Interests by lumielle (M, 36k)

Kaveh clicks his tongue. “Well, I hope you are also aware that with all these requirements, you don’t get a set (A+B), or even (A+B+C). Yours is a set comprised of the entire Sumerian alphabet!” Kaveh has had enough of Alhaitham always loitering around the house. In an attempt to get Alhaitham to go out more often, he jokingly tells him to start dating someone. Much to Kaveh’s shock, Alhaitham agrees—and promptly assigns him as his personal matchmaker. And even though Alhaitham’s requirements for his ideal partner are annoyingly specific, Kaveh refuses to back down from a good challenge. He’s confident in his abilities—that is, until his own feelings start getting in the way…

Precipice by viiparyas (M, 37k)

Lately, his heart staggers at a precipice, just one breath from toppling over. Into what, he doesn’t know. After everything, after everything… He can’t help but melt easily into the intimacy between them, whether it’s by his design or not.

Kaveh has won fame and renown through Sumeru, witnessed the dissolution of a corrupt government, traveled from the trenches of homelessness to the pinnacles of a fairytale paradise. And yet something deep between his ribs screams, more, more, more.

or, Kaveh discovering what he truly wants and finally reaching for it. (Spoiler alert: it's Alhaitham)

nazar by pencanze (T, 13k)

It’s like they’re in a globed world of their own, trapped within a glazed bead. Shatterproof, soundproof, impregnable and unbreakable to anyone else—anyone besides themselves. (On superstitions, friendships, and other things that shatter.)

case study of the scribe by Jazer (T, 25.5k)

"The consequences of obtaining knowledge is the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. "

In which Alhaitham realizes that a peaceful existence does not have to mean a lonely one.

People keep coming to Al-Haitham when they want to know where Kaveh is. Al-Haitham would be lying if he said he didn't know why.

silviculture by sunsmasher (T, 13k)

Kaveh’s face is bright, young, flushed, freckled, happy. He’s wearing an Akademiya uniform and is as tall as the last time Alhaitham saw him (fifteen minutes ago) which means he’s an inch or two shorter than the last time Alhaitham saw him, because the uniform boots are heeled. He’s staring at Alhaitham with the aforementioned flush spreading like dye over the silk of his cheeks. “Kaveh,” Alhaitham says. “Don’t freak out. I believe I’ve been displaced in time.”

spitefully yours by luminvies (T, 6k)

Dear Al-Haitham, I propose that we meet this Friday at sundown on the southeast edge of the city bordering Avidya Forest. This is a marital engagement. Please come prepared with your sword at the ready. With spite, Kaveh Al-Haitham sets down the letter, letting out a long sigh. After all, isn’t the answer to dealing with domestic disputes not marriage? Isn’t that entirely contradictory to the issue?

Kaveh sends Al-Haitham martial summons to sort out their issues. Unfortunately, he makes a small error in the letter.

The Art of Misunderstanding by Anonymous (M, 7k)

"Kaveh didn't consider himself to be vain. Yet he was becoming increasingly, upsettingly aware that most associates would disagree. Vanity, by definition, refers to an inflated sense of self-importance and pride in oneself. A vain person may believe themselves to be the best in the room. They may find it absurd that all eyes do not fall on them the instant they make themselves known. A vain person may put themselves on a pedestal, believing themselves objectively skilled in their field. And though Kaveh had trust and confidence in himself as an artist, he was caught entirely off-guard to hear that others thought of him as vain." ------ AKA, Kaveh misunderstands when he overhears an upsetting conversation between old classmates. His assumption is that they are attacking his character and commenting on his personality. In reality, they're talking about his looks. Everyone picks up on it, save for Kaveh himself.

Illness, Drowning, and Other Minor Inconveniences by EulerIHKH (G, 11k)

Faced with a uniquely difficult client, Kaveh is reluctantly forced to look for help in the one architect he considers more capable than himself: his mother. But soon enough, the turmoil of Kaveh's personal life begins to seep into their professional correspondence, forcing him to reevaluate his career, relationships, and identity.

love haitham and kaveh....love these fics....so many talented writers...thank you authors <33 def missing a bunch bc my organization on ao3 is horrendous but i can update this or make another list at some point....also i would highly appreciate any recs tyy🙏

( + bonus not rec but self promo of a hkvh fic i tried my hand at writing last summer but never shared oops. here she is if you're intrigued

a comedy of errors (T, 6.7k) )

[ghostlyferrettarot]

•Pick an image: 🪐🖤Who has a message for you right now?🖤🪐

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings)Open.

🖤If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🖤

🫧Join my Patreon for exclusive content!🫧

🖤Masterlist🖤

•Pile 1: The hierophant, the empress, the two of wands.

Hi pile 1! I feel a lot of mature energy from this person, this a mentor/spiritual teacher for you. This person can be older than you, it has a lot of love for you as well, i get grand-parents vibes. There could be an important decision that you have to make right now, you can be torn between two paths; they are coming to tell you not to worry, you will know the right desicion when the time comes and in case you feel overwhelmed you can ask for guidance and they will help. You may be worry about you financial situation as well; don't worry about it, whatever seeds you plant will flurish succesfully. I sense a lot of love from this person, it feels like an strict mentor that has a soft spot for you and want to see you at your fullest potential, they want to see you step into your empress/emperor energy.

★Signs: the color green, golden jewerly, earth signs, hummingbirds.

★Song:

•Pile 2: Nine of swords, nine of wands, wheel of furtune.

Hi pile 2! I feel like you may be going through or has gone through a rough time, things have not been working out for you and you feel lost and discouraged.

This person is coming thrugh to reassure you that everything will be fine, after every storm, the rainbow comes. I sense masculine energy, it feels like a best friend/significant other who is gonna help you get through this. Whatever it is that happened you can have the safety that things will start to go on your favor, it may have even started for some of you. This phase was a significant one for you and although it was hard it has helped you heal and better up. This person energy it so encouraging, i feel a really platonic connection between the two of you, i see a lot of holding hands haha so maybe this could be important, it's so sweet; what a beautiful energy to have around pile 2!

★Signs: doves, light blue colors, i see a man with a beard, butterflys ✨️

★Song:

•Pile 3: The lovers, five of swords, three of swords.

Hi pile 3! I see that you have been prioritazing yourself lately, cutting people off and making important changes in order to keep you mental health in check, so proud of all your growth pile 3! This person it's someone who loves you really deeply, it feels more romantic than the other piles. I feel like this is a reward, this person will come into your life as a reward for all you hard work and improvent that you made. That are really excited to meet you, i see puppy eyes, full adoration from this person towards you.

The main massage that they want to tell you it's that they know its hasn't been easy for you, others probably hurt you, maybe it was "friends" or family members. They want to tell you that they are proud of you and that they cannot wait to meet you, for some of you maybe you have already met! This person energy its so caring and wholesome, so beautiful pile 3!

★Signs: oranges,summer, color orange and yellow, dogs, honey, i see tea for some reason, maybe they are more of a tea person reather than coffee.

★Song:

🖤Thanks for reading! Tell me if it resonated and i hope you have a great day!🖤

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

Obsidian Salt

Summary: A little Witch!Reader x Demon!Rhys AU for my Spooky Season Fic List

-------

My hands shake around the ancient text, the worn tome heavy and dust laden from years upon years of sitting on a shelf, untouched and forgotten. The old latin script is illegible in places, the ink faded and hidden under unidentifiable stains; the parchment is dog-eared and scribbled in, the margins full of strange, archaic markings I’ve never seen used in our Coven’s rune work. These are not the spells of my ancestors, not the runes my mother and grandmother cast upon the old foundations of our family home. We are a family of witches, dating back beyond the ages of written word; I am supposed to carry on that legacy, but truth be told, I’ve always been terrible at spellwork. My potions are mediocre; powers of persuasion abysmal. I truly am a poor excuse for a witch, and everyone in the coven knows it. Perhaps that is why Sister Ruth chose me to put on a demonstration at the Solstice Festival tomorrow. If I cannot prove my worth, well, maybe it is in the best interest of the coven to throw me out, or worse, make a sacrifice out of me. 

I would not be the first.

I grip the tome a little tighter. I must prove my usefulness. I cannot fail my sisters, or worse, my grandmother.  She raised eight successful witches, it would be to her utter shame to have been my teacher all these years for nothing. 

I draw a shaking breath. These spells are old magic. Dark magic. But I must get good at something quickly, and the gods know I will not get there on any natural talent. Perhaps I don’t need to be a natural. Perhaps I just need to summon something that is. 

On the old wood floor of our basement, I have laid the circle of obsidian salt in three overlapping circles, each etched with runes of chalk for protection. Just in case, I’ve dusted the floor with dried rosemary and anise seeds; an added barrier against whatever evil I might accidentally conjure if this goes wrong. My mother’s amulet feels heavy beneath my sweater, the cold iron biting against my skin as if in warning against what I am about to do.

I take another deep breath and ignore the warning. I must not fail.

The words are clunky, foreign on my tongue, the first couple of tries produces no results at all. Perhaps I really am the worst witch ever!

I grip the tome so tight the spine groans as I try again, slower this time, sounding out each word piece by piece. I will not fail.

The whole basement is lit with candles and as I finish the final words of the spell, the light suddenly snuffs itself out. 

The air in the room drops to near freezing temperatures. My hands so stiff and shaky around the old tome that the book slips from my hands and falls somewhere in the darkness. I make it onto my knees to look for it in a mad scramble before the sound of rushing wind fills the tiny room. It’s so loud I have to cover my ears with my shaking hands. 

In the center of the salt ring, dark shadows begin to slither out from a crack in the floor, hissing like a dozen tiny snakes. 

What have I done?!

I scramble to find the book in the dark, hands tearing over the anise seeds and clumps of rosemary. Perhaps the crushed scent of herbs will be enough to ward off whatever terrible shadow I’ve just called upon!

The temperature of the room continues to drop, lower and lower, even as the screeching wind gets louder and louder. The shadows within the circle grow darker and thicker by the moment, spinning now like a whirlwind. At least the salt holds. 

And then, as quickly as the noise had begun, it suddenly quiets. All the candles light themselves again, allowing me to see where I’d dropped the book: Directly into the circle, having bounced over the line, and it now sits at the feet of the most handsome male I’ve ever seen in my life.

I can do nothing but stare. I had meant to summon some help, the soul of an old mage or a spirit from another world, perhaps, but not… well, whatever he is. He’s definitely alive, his bronze, bair chest rising and falling, making the swirl of dark ink over his skin move in twining patterns. Not a spirit, though I do not know what to make of the great, bat-like wings that sprout from his back, the leathery membrane twitching as he brings them close to his body to avoid the barrier the salt creates. And his eyes! Gods, there like two blazing, violet suns inside the sharp planes of his face. 

“Well isn’t this interesting,” he purrs, voice smooth as velvet.

“Gods, what have I done?” I whisper to no one in particular.

His mouth twists in a devilish grin as he bends down to pick up my tome. From the tips of his fingers come dark claws. A bit of living shadow curls over his wrist, moving like snakes across the worn pages. “No gods here, Darling.”

I, somehow, find it within me to stand, despite my shaking legs. It is still terribly cold in this basement; the source of it seems to be coming from him. “What are you?”

He chuckles as he flips through the pages, claws running affectionately over the runes written in the margins. “Why don’t you come closer and I’ll show you?”

The longer I watch him the more off I realize he is. There are fangs in his mouth, the sharp tips of them glinting in the candlelight. Tiny, glittering drops of starlight glisten in the strands of his raven-black hair. Intertwined within the ink across his chest are smaller versions of the runes written within the pages of the book. 

“I’ll stay right here,” I say.

He sticks out his full lower lip in a pout. “That’s no fun!”

He takes a step closer to the line of salt, testing the barrier with the tip of his boot. At least I managed to summon him half-way decent in a dark, leather pair of pants and boots. I don’t know what I’d do if I had summoned him fully nude. 

My cheeks flush at the thought, drifting down to follow the defined V of his abs, and where his pants slide low on his hips. If he were human I’d climb him like a tree. 

“Don’t tell me you summoned me just to gawk?” He presses. When he catches where my eyes are on his body, he adds, “Although you’re welcome to enjoy the view for as long as you like.”

I let out a huff. “I didn’t summon you for anything! I was trying to talk to the spirits.”

“There’s only one spell that can summon me, and you picked it,” he turns the book to show me the exact page I’d been reading from. “So tell me, what is it you want, Witchling?”

The way he says Witchling makes my skin flush; the heat in his tone enough to make me second guess myself. Why did I think that spell would summon something else? 

Perhaps I am a fool for saying it, but I blurt, “I need help.”

“Do tell,” he purrs.

“I’m supposed to give my coven a display of my magic tomorrow, for the Solstice, and well… I’m kind of the worst witch ever.” 

He glances at the herbs on the floor, and then back up to me. I swear there are actual violet flames moving around within his irises. I don’t know what he is, but I don’t think it’s anything that can help me. But how am I supposed to send him back without the book?

“I meant to summon a spirit to guide me in some quick magic. I didn’t mean to summon, well, whatever you are.”

“I am many things,” he says, walking a slow circle around the barrier, testing it. It’s like watching a recently caged animal at the zoo; he’s testing every point for a weak spot, and if he finds it, he’s using it. 

I swallow the lump in my throat. What do I do if he gets out?

“But you can call me Rhys.”

If there is any heat left in the room, it leaves in a rush. “As in Rhysand? One of the Princes of Hel?”

Rhys drags his claws over the invisible barrier the salt creates and I watch the magic ripple and pulse under those sharp tips. “Perhaps.”

“You need to go back,” I say in panic, even though I know it can’t work that way. I summoned him. I have to be the one to send him back. Without the book, Hel, even with the book, I can’t do anything. 

“Then send me back, Witchling.”

I’m going to have to get my grandmother, and everyone is going to know that not only am I a failure as a witch, but I am a danger to all of us. I can’t even read a spell book right! I summoned a Prince of Hel by accident!

I chew on my thumbnail, pacing now myself around the outside edges of the salt. What do I do? What do I do?

“Oh but you can’t, can you?” He teases, knocking the book against the barrier. “Not without this pretty little thing.”

The dried herbs crunch under my boots as I keep pacing. There are no other tomes like that accessible to me, not without the Elders knowledge. This one had slipped past unnoticed in my grandmother’s grand collection, I had found it by sheer luck. There were no other texts to help me out of this one, and at this rate, even if there was, could I even get it to work?

“So how about we do this my way, hmm?”

A shiver crawls its way up my spine. 

“You break the barrier, and I will help you with your little Solstice tomorrow.”

I finally turn to look at him. “You would do that?”

“After tomorrow night, you can send me back and we can pretend this whole thing was a bad dream.”

Maybe this wasn’t a mistake after all! Maybe I can still turn this around!

“You won’t cause any trouble?” I ask.

He puts a clawed hand over his heart. “I will not cause any trouble.”

“You swear it?”

“I cannot break my word, Darling,” he returns. 

My hands shake. What other choice do I have? “Just until the Solstice passes.”

“I promise you, that is all the time I will need.” I have to admit, his voice is strangely soothing. He does not strike me as some malevolent ruler of darkness at all. 

I grab a broom off the wall. “It’s a bargain then.”

He grins wolfishly the entire time, watching my every step as I approach with the intensity of a wolf stalking a deer. 

I swallow the lump in my throat. It’s only one night, what could one night hurt? With one last shaking breath, I drag the broom through the salt and break the seal.

The book clatters to the floor for a second time tonight, as he lunges forward, a clawed hand wrapping around my neck as his momentum propels me back against the wall. I hit the worn stones so hard dust rains down from the ceiling. 

Panic grips me; I have no magic to save me as a real witch ought. He’s taller than I thought he was, towering over me as his grip on me tightens to the point of pain, the tips of his claws leaving indents in my skin.  Rhys chuckles at my plight as he leans down and brushes his lips over mine in the ghost of a kiss. Ice fills my veins at the contact. “Silly little, Witchling, a night is more than enough to make you mine.”

[actuallysaiyan]

She Keeps It Pumping Straight To My Heart(Vergil x Fem!Reader)

warnings: mentions of having a baby, Vergil is needy, smut, creampies, unprotected sex, mentions of breeding word count: 0.9k pairings: Post DMC5!Vergil x Fem!Reader a/n: This just kind of popped into my brain! Hope you enjoy!

He shouldn’t want this. Not at his age or with the way things have gone in his life. Even with the way things ended up with his first son, Vergil knows that having another child might be the wrong idea. This nagging sensation deep inside of him lately makes him think that you could be the right person to have this with.

Even Dante and Nero notice a change in Vergil. He’s less abrasive, less angry. They even see a smile on his face, which makes them both feel very much at ease. They know that Vergil needs to know real peace, and you are the one to bring it to him.

This all culminates one night into something so passionate and loving. With the two of you freshly showered and now lying in bed, in crisp fresh sheets, you are caressing one another. Sweet, loving kisses are shared.

“What’s gotten into you lately?” you ask, a smirk on your face.

Vergil chuckles, “Ah, so you’ve noticed it as well.”

He then maneuvers you both so that he’s on top of you, your legs spread for him. Still, his kisses are gentle and loving, but you can feel the heat growing in them. He grunts softly as he ruts against you, his cock becoming unbearably hard.

“We’ve been together for quite some time, yes?” he wonders out loud.

“Yeah, almost two years now.”

The words that come from your pretty lips both excite and warm his heart. He never knew he could have a love so pure and so tender for this long. Even at the beginning of your relationship, Vergil thought he’d fuck it up somehow and lose you forever. But you proved to be resilient and determined. You loved him for who he was and you weren’t just going to abandon him. Vergil meant everything to you, especially after he saved your life from a horde of evil devils.

Vergil breathes, “I think…I think I want another baby,”

You giggle nervously, “Another baby? But you only met your son when he was an—”

He interrupts you with another kiss, “You’ll give me a baby, won’t you?”

Your heart skips a beat. How are you supposed to deny such a request? You stutter out the word “yes”, but you nod as well to let him know you’re more than interested. With your arms around his neck, he moves you into a more comfortable position.

“Just the thought of carrying my seed must excite you,” Vergil comments as he uses the tip of his cock to smear your arousal all over your tight hole. “You’re already so wet,”

He continues his teasing for a while, making sure to tap the tip of his cock against your swollen clit. You never thought you’d get to this point in your life, but you cannot deny the fact that having a child with Vergil would be amazing. The thought of making a baby is exciting too.

He captures your lips in a kiss as he presses himself into you. You’re both panting and moaning as he bottoms out, leaving you both a little fucked out already. Vergil smirks when he realizes this is actually going to happen. You’re going to be carrying his child.

Your hands soothe up and down his back as he starts a slow pace, getting you both used to these sensations. Vergil finds it hard to not blow his load from the beginning, as he always gets so over excited to make love to you. He takes a deep breath before pressing your legs to your chest which places you in the perfect mating position.

“You will carry my seed in your womb,” Vergil says, his voice full of need and lust.

“Yes, yes! Please, Vergil!” You cry out, his cock bullying the sweet spot so deep inside of you.

His hand traces down your chest to your core, rubbing the swollen clit that’s just begging for attention. Your eyes screw shut as he begins pounding into you, making you feel that familiar tightening in your stomach. Your cries of love and ecstasy begin echoing off the walls.

“That’s it, sparrow,” he coos at you. “Milk my cock. Be a good girl and milk my cock,”

His words arouse you as much as they surprise you. He’s not usually one to talk filthy like this, and it’s just fueling your fire even more. It takes but only a few more thrusts to send you over the edge.

Tears slip down your cheeks at the intense pleasure. Your spongy walls squeeze and contract around his throbbing cock, milking him for his warm and thick seed. He’s grunting and growling, his voice sounding almost distorted. And with a passionate and hungry kiss, Vergil spills himself so deep inside your pulsing walls.

The two of you continue to grind against one another, riding out the remnants of what is the most intense orgasm you’ve both felt in forever. And when Vergil pulls away, you almost think he’s going to get up to get you something to drink. It’s just that the sight of his thick cum running out of your puffy cunt sends him into a frenzy.

You cry out as he slams himself back into you, clearly not done.

“I said I wanted to have another baby,” Vergil huffs as he fucks himself into you. “And we are going to have another baby.”

[system-to-the-madness]

Not Forever - Elrond x Reader

Pairing: tRoP!Elrond x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 044 Warnings: mentions of Sauron and death Summary: During the longest night, Elrond and you are on patrol around the refuge A/N: Rather unsurprisingly, tRoP!Elrond was the winner of the poll! Also: This is posting exactly as the sun is setting in my city.

Cold starlight glittered overhead, covered partially by the bare branches of old trees. It was only early afternoon, but the longest night of the year had already begun shortly past noon. 

Turning your head, you spied your companion stepping through the fallen leaves, carrying a pouch with provision over his shoulder. It wasn't much, since you were only patrolling the lands surrounding the new settlement that had been built as refuge for the elves of Eregion. Trying to block out the anger that patrols had become a necessity now, the rage at the mindless destruction of peace and beauty for power, you called for Elrond, who closed the last meters between you.

"It seems quiet in the south for now," he told you. "What about the east?"

"Nothing," you replied, "but the stars have come out."

Elrond followed the line you indicated with a reach of your hand and leant his head back to look at the sky above.

Instead of turning your eyes the same direction, you watched him. His hair had grown longer since the battle, and now fell in soft locks almost down to his shoulders, shifting as he moved his head to get a better look at the stars. Their light sparkled in his eyes, and for a moment the burden of grief and responsibility fell off his shoulders. It seemed like a lightness returned to him, an upwards tucking of the corners of his mouth, one you had not seen in several moons upon his face. It made your heart beat harder, and you barely were able to resist the urge to brush away a curl of his hair that had caught on his cheek. 

As if he had felt your eyes on him, he turned to look at you. The forest was dark, safe for the stars above, but still you could make out that his expression grew ever softer as he took you in. Your breaths condensed as white clouds between your faces while he considered your form, wrapped in the warmest coat you had found, feet tightly tucked into some light, but warm boots, bow thrown over your shoulder, quiver with arrows on your back and a sword strapped to your hip.

"You're cold," he observed, a frown creasing his brow, and he stepped forward, placing his hands at your upper arms and rubbing gently. It was a strangely intimate gesture, one like he had often shared with you recently, but you did not find it in you to refuse his approach. His hands were warm in the winter night, and his touch filled with familiarity and light, that pushed back against the darkness that had begun to spread over the lands even before the sun had reached the highest point of the shortest day.

"The winter feels colder this year," you finally answered, praying that Elrond would not mind the way you had lent into his touch. But he yet had to draw away, so you told yourself not to mind.

"It's Sauron's darkness that draws the warmth out of all that is good in this world," Elrond answered, his voice having taken the heavy tone he often struck recently. "I cannot even feel the warmth in the ground anymore. It is frozen in more ways than the winter would allow."

You knew what he was talking about. Even when the ground was frozen solid, there were always the lingering traces of life, the roots of trees that roped through the earth, young acorns and other seeds, waiting for spring warmth before starting to grow their first leaves, bugs and worms or even rabbits. But none of that life was there now, only cold, frozen, dead soil.

“I love the stars, but this cold makes me think this night will last forever,” you admitted guiltily. “It no longer carries the comfort it once did. It’s distant now, and dangerous.”

“It is not the night’s darkness that carries the danger, but Sauron’s,” Elrond answered. “But this night, just like all the others before, shall pass.” Carefully he moved one of his hands from your shoulder up to your cheek, his warmth sending a shiver down your spine, his smooth skin gentle against yours. “Even the darkest night will end and when the stars’ light fades by sunbeams, our hearts will be filled with hope once more.” 

You inhaled deeply, the icy air, the scent of fallen leaves and the warmth of Elrond’s hand at your cheek before you looked up at him.

“It seems impossible,” you denied. “Like I’m suffocating in the dark.”

“You won’t, I won’t let you,” Elrond promised, taking a step closer and resting his forehead against yours. He was warm and alive, and it felt like golden light was bleeding from his touch into your heart, lifting the darkness that had wrapped around it. “We will face this night together and welcome the sun again. And we will hold onto each other and defeat whatever darkness lingers in this world. I will not let you despair; this I promise you.”

Tightly closing your eyes at his words, you inhaled shakily and nodded. “I promise, too,” you replied and even though your answer was simple, you knew Elrond understood how important the words’ meaning was.

For a few more moments he held you there, forehead to forehead, breath condensing to mist between your bodies, but eventually he drew back.

“Let’s have some of the Lembas and the fruit,” he suggested, rubbing his thumb over your cheek as if to rub life back into your skin, or to chase away the heat that had begun rising at the proximity, you could not be sure. 

Settling down on the frozen ground, leaning against a fallen tree, Elrond unpacked the provisions, handing you some of them before scooting so close that eventually his side was pressed against yours. With a reassuring smile he wrapped his cloak around the two of you, warmth beginning to chase out the cold and as you rested your head against his shoulder, feeling him lean his cheek against your hair, both of you watching the stars slowly move over the sky while eating the sweet, dried fruit, you suddenly felt as if Elrond was right; the night would not last forever.

[utilitycaster]

re: the top 5 books ask, here's what I didn't include but all of this could go on this list.

Math and Physics: Wonders of Numbers (Clifford Pickover)/Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman (Richard Feynman)/The Elegant Universe (Brian Greene) were all awards or graduation presents in middle and high school; one is a bunch of wild math puzzles, one is a (very funny) memoir of a legendary physicist; and one is an exploration of a then very hot theoretical physics theory, and it's interesting to consider how all of them shaped me.

why I as a math/physics person am also an avid meta writer:Hyperspace (Michio Kaku) and How To Write Science Fiction and Fantasy (Orson Scott Card) - Kaku is a physicist as well but writes for the layman, and Hyperspace is about extradimensional physics but also provides a huge list of fictional explorations, which is why I'm pairing it with How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy. Look I cannot vouch for Card as a person given the Mormon Homophobia but this book was absolutely formative, I read it very young (not long after Ender's Game, actually), and I do recommend pirating it because I inherited a great deal of my understanding of narratology and good writing from it, and it introduced me to some of my favorite less problematic writers. These books also serve as "introduction to a billion fucked up sf short stories I read in high school"; just copy down every fictional work they mention and read as many as you can.

Medicine, healthcare, neuroscience, and the human element: The works of Oliver Sacks/The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down (Anne Fadiman)/The Checklist Manifesto (Atul Gawande) - I think I would not have been as happy as a physician, but I also think had a few things gone slightly differently in my life (notably, having a high school bio teacher who was competent and whom I did not detest) I might have been pushed in that direction, and as I'm in other more peripheral spaces in healthcare, these are still very important books in terms of how I think.

Cookbooks: How to Cook Everything Vegetarian (Mark Bittman) and Salt Fat Acid Heat (Samin Nosrat) - I'm a pretty good cook and Bittman's is the first cookbook I owned as an adult (I am not vegetarian but I was in my first ever apartment, as I keep kosher and therefore having two sets of dishes and buying kosher meat was prohibitively expensive as a grad student, at least if I also wanted to like, go out for drinks or pizza on occasion). Salt Fat Acid Heat is much more recent but I think that's what really freed me from needing cookbooks and instead thinking about cooking more by experience.

Childhood formative books, especially in fantasy: A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears (Jules Pfeiffer)/The Phantom Tollbooth (Norton Juster)/the general works of Diana Wynne Jones, Ellen Raskin, and Elizabeth Enright. A taste for the weird/mythical/fractured fairy tales.

Teen/Adult formative books in sf: Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (Susana Clarke)/The Belgariad (David Eddings)/Wild Seed (Octavia Butler)/Old Kingdom series (Garth Nix)/I, Robot (Isaac Aasimov)/The City and the City (China Mieville) - teens and adulthood formative books in sf and fantasy. The lessons learned here, in order, respectively: find the intersection of mythology and academia and if you're doing pastiche do it impeccably; if you're not original, be funny and kind to your characters (still throw rocks at them but treat them as people); with that said be original and as weird as you fucking want; write a woman who is incredibly good at what she does and build a deeply compelling world around her; no really write a woman who is incredibly good at what she does and build a deeply compelling world around her and also stupid puns are okay; get weird, play with genre, and don't hold your audience's hand.

[cutexlr]

Getaway

Summary: There’s been tension on the farm ever since a group joined you and your family. Your father doesn’t like the fact they’ve given him more mouths to feed and look out for. However, your tension was for a slightly different reason; Rick. Once you both finally acknowledge that tension, the two of you cannot find getaway.

Warnings: afab!reader, age gap (reader 24, rick 39), secret relationship, forbidden love, hyperfeminine reader, groping, Rick getting frustrated, almost caught, thigh riding, jerking off, quickies, virgin reader, kinda perv Rick

I was planting some flowers off to the side of the house when I felt a presence above me, I look up and see Rick. “Hi” I wave.

He gives me that soft smile and leans down with me, “whatcha doing?”

“M’ planting daisies” I cover the seeds with soil as I speak with him. “Why?” His question caught me off guard.

“Why? Because they’re pretty, and it’s what you do in the summer” I give him a slight head shake indicating I didn’t understand his question.

“Why not use your time planting something useful? Like food” he helps me with my gardening even though he protests.

“We had some flower seeds left and I thought: why not? It’s nice to have something pretty to look at” I shrug.

“That’s true” he looks at me, his hand brushed against mine as we finished the planting.

Later on that night, Carol and Lori cooked us dinner to show their gratitude. I thought the gesture was completely sincere but my father was still holding a slight grudge.

“The foods amazing” I break the terrible silence.

Carol smiles sweetly and Lori gives me a nod. I hadn’t interacted with Lori much as she was always off doing something. All I do know is that her and Rick are separated because of another member of their group: Shane.

Eventually the awkward dinner is over and I go upstairs to wash up for bed. Rick and his group set up camp outside so I never saw him at night. I brush my teeth and put on my floral nightgown, it was one of the few I had. I decided to head downstairs for a glass of water and I unexpectedly find Rick standing in the kitchen.

His eyes found me, his mouth quirks up in a grin and now I’m really embarrassed. “What’re doing here?” I question him.

“Me and your father were discussing plans about my groups future” his hands were resting on his belt buckle.

“Oh, then where is my father?” I squint, his story doesn’t quite add up.

“He went out to his shed to find a few maps, said he let me have them” Rick tilts his head, “you think I’m lying?”

I shake my head, “not anymore…”

He takes a step closer and I back into the kitchen counter, “you really like flowers don’t you?”

“Uh huh” my mouth went dry, Rick took a hand and messed with my nightgown.

“Very pretty” he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Thank you” my eyes were big and innocent.

“Can I touch?” He wasn’t really asking because then his hands went to my shoulders, then down to my breasts, he squeezed slightly.

“Rick we can’t” I huff.

“Who says?” He shrugs, “there’s no rules anymore, only secrets”

I hesitantly nod, “I’ve never done this before, I haven’t gotten this far.”

It was embarrassing but the apocalypse kind of got in the way of any social life.

“It’ll feel good I promise, but we gotta keep it a secret baby, just you and me” his southern accent was getting thicker.

Rick pulled up my nightgown, revealing my underwear, “cute panties too?”

I giggle, “maybe”

He finally kisses me, it was so sweet and hot. His tongue between my lips, I let him take the lead.

Then the floorboard creeks.

We immediately break apart and Rick steps back. It was my father.

“I could only find a few, I had much more- y/n what’re you doing down here?” My father finally looks up from the varied maps.

“I was thirsty” Rick glances at me but I don’t look back, I don’t wanna seem obvious.

“That’s fine but could you give me and Rick some privacy when you’re done?” He smiles and ruffles my hair.

“Yes” I roll my eyes playfully. I get my long awaited water and head back up to my room.

Rick knew he couldn’t just go upstairs once he and my father were done talking, so I presumed he went back to camp with the others.

The next morning I tried very hard to keep my face at a normal color but I could only think about the fact that Rick lifted up my nightgown in the very kitchen where everyone was having breakfast.

I keep my head low but then Rick speaks, “eggs?” He grinned, holding up the frying pan.

“Oh- yes please” I grab a plate and Rick spoons the eggs on.

“Why’s your face so red hun?” He whispers.

“Shhh” I look up at him, “I’m gonna go eat my breakfast over there, far way from you”

Rick chuckles, he plates his own eggs along with Carl’s.

***Rick was working out things in his mind, he was wondering how he could get that sweet girl alone with him. But he knew that somewhere there was always an interruption. And if anyone found out that the leader of the group was sleeping with Hershel’s daughter. Ricks sure that Hershel would break his “no weapons” rule.***

“Psst” I heard someone behind me. I was giving some water to the horses. I turn around and see Rick.

I giggle, “what was that for? My fathers not gonna shoot you for speaking to me”

“He might be tempted” Rick steps closer, his hands in his back pockets, “I wanna pick up where we left off.”

“Not here-“ I squeal as he comes up from behind and squeezes my ass.

“No but we could go behind the barn hm? Just wanna touch you a little come on” he whispers in my ear.

“Rick I don’t think we should” I sigh as his mouth attaches to my neck.

“Don’t be scared, no one will see us” he chuckles, then licks my neck.

Suddenly leaves crunch.

I turn to the barn door and no one was there to see Rick handling me, but moments later there was glenn.

“Hershel wants to give us a few pointers on looking for Sophia” Glenn announces awkwardly, “hi” he acknowledges me.

Glenn could sense something was up but he trusted Rick enough to not bring it up.

“Sure thing, I’ll be right there” rick huffs, another moment interrupted.

I give him a look that says I’m sorry, he nods.

Little does Rick know I’m planning something tonight where he’ll get exactly what he wants.

***There was a plan for a part two, but guess what? I’m lazy! And I don’t know how to end this, so use your imagination.***

[swiiivet-screamathon]

Pv sits on the fountain's coping, the lily he had been given before she departed in his hands. He sits up proper and looks back towards the fountain's central spout.

"I know this must mean incredibly little to you, but I cannot help myself but to ask, lest it weigh on my mind for any longer. How much of your tower was fabricated by you? Were even the plants and fauna your own creation?"

With a quiet glance he looks over his opposite shoulder, to see a newly arrived Smilk had floated in.

"I wouldn't exactly call those words synonyms in this context, I made it all yes, but they weren't all fabricated. Need plenty of methods in your arsenal to spread as much deceit and lies around so why not take advantage of all life?"

"... I'm not sure if I've got enough of an ability to deduce whether you made new life or if you're more adept at botany than I expected."

"It's one of the many things I miss from Beast-Yeast, t'oh, those precious things. One seed in this kingdom and surely it'd be on its knees as soon as it bloomed."

"With the benefit of being in a calmer era than back then I can recognize that they were quite pretty, if I were none the wiser I would've perhaps liked to have kept some."

"You like plants beyond those of your bestie?"

"Lilies are a favorite of mine indeed, but I've got more space in my heart than just one kind of flora, I've had a soft spot for primroses and orchids too. And I'm sure I could develop another for the kind you've made."

"What, you want some?"

"If the offers genuine I don't think I'd mind. Which one was your favorite?"

"...? Why would that matter? If you're so desperate to get your hands on one that you'd fly back to my remains then get one you care about."

"I suppose the answer is 'they're all your favorite' then?"

"... Whispering Lies, they could grow on anything, if given enough nutrients I'm sure it could take over the kingdom in days. The chants of lies were music to the ears."

"I'm not sure if I recall crossing paths with them, what'd they look like?"

"Lilac, I never quite settled on whether I liked the color or not compared to everything else, but their gnawing teeth made up for it significantly."

"What color were you debating between? Or did you just want any other color besides the one you chose?"

"Okay timeout buckoo; when did this turn into a quiz show? They're just some pesky flowers that are now an entire continent away, your questions should be less frivolous next time."

"I thought maybe you'd be able to make some more, but apologies if my assumption was incorrect."

"You know, perhaps I would be willing if it were a badge of allegiance to deceit, a constant reminder how you still accepted the mantle of Cookie of Deceit that you bear to this day."

"I don't believe I resigned the name back then, and if I were to be so bold I think I would say I'm well aware of my allegiance to deceit. ^^"

"Let's hope you didn't also steal that power from me too then, hm?"

Once he finished his sentence he taps the top of his wand to the lily that sat in Pv's palm, where a little droplet of white poured from the top and onto the petals causing it to rapidly morph, the five pointy petals squashing down into a pale purple squared shape, the pistils lightening into a shade of white and widening, transformed into a pair of teeth.

As it seemed to have finished its thing Pv carefully examines it, feeling the texture in his hand, grazing the teeth. Along with a giant grin across Smilk's face does he lift the flower up to his hear, seeing if he can hear some of those aforementioned chants. Doesn't seem to be doing much of anything though for the moment.

He drops his hands back into his lap and looks over to where Smilk just was, but it seems he had enough and left already.

He'll cherish it greatly, he gifted him a flower after all.

[mini-golden]

⚠️ Spoilers for chapter 359 ⚠️

I honestly didn't expect I'd be posting as many chapter rants but here we are. I really need to draw these guys again soon. Anyway onto the chapter rant.

I'm really liking Fanny's character this arc, I honestly didn't care much for her character at first. I always liked that she isn't a perfect victim, we really need more of those in media (cause you know the 'perfect victim' doesn't actually exist). I'm happy with how much of her we've gotten to see. She really wants to change and I hope we see her succeed in that. I genuinely hope that we can get a Oswald and Fanny friendship in the future.

I love the variety there is in inky mystery of how characters react to things. I think Felix' character is so interesting, he has contrasting and conflicting character traits that are fun to see pull and tug at each other. I like the fact that when Felix is in emotional distress he tends to run away. It's such a realistic reaction and it's a reaction that you don't really expect of a character like Felix on a surface level. I would love to do a character analysis on him one day.

Oswald you are truly pure of heart and dumb of ass. I love this man but boy does he have me in the trenches defending his actions. He is so impulsive even in his 30s. I can't imagine how much of a handful Oswald was in his youth if this is him supposedly mellowed.

I love how Bendy and Cuphead were just like 'so you two are together?' It was hilarious to me but also it shows how close Oswald and Felix have become. Obviously we know that Felix cannot hide his feelings for Oswald at all but a relationship goes both ways so there's obviously been a lot of development between them. We finally have Oswald blushing at Felix and having feelings for him blossoming. (Tap please make them kiss and my life is yours).

Bendy and Felix are so cute. I can't wait to have him and Boris live with Felix. I think we all deserve the fluff that will bring. Bendy's comment was so funny to me because yeah actually Oswald you are the lucky one. I don't know how he managed to pull a well-educated rich cat that is kind and is good with kids. Oswald did actually win the lottery with that one, Felix has his flaws obviously but my point still stands. I love how chill Bendy was about the possibility of Felix dating Oswald.

I also really want to see more Felix and Dr. Oddswell. He clearly cares about Felix and trusts his judgement on things.

The seeds have been planted for Felix really grasping how much people compare him to Ortensia which I am both scared and excited to see where that goes or if it's just a throw away line. I think it could make some interesting angst (that I will only appreciate if it there is an Osix bounce back if it goes that way). Cuphead is confirmed bisexual to the surprise of no one. That man has never given 'straight' in his life.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | May 20th-26th 2024

Soooo looks like I had a slow week?

Happy 911 Finale week everyone, may the odds be ever in our favour 🙏

Complete

The Valentine's Grinch by giselleslash/@gigi-gigi (Valentine's Day, Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie hates Valentine’s Day, but Buck loves it and everything is awful.

and we can stay all day by trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Zoologist Buck AU | 3K | Teen): “So let me get this straight,” Hen says, once she’s stopped laughing at him. “Your nerd crush-” “-Evan Buckley,” Eddie miserably interjects. “Your nerd crush,” Hen repeats, waggling her eyebrows. At the kitchen table beside her, Chimney is grinning like Christmas just came early. “Read your drunk tweet and then sent you animal facts via DM?” or: Buck's a zoologist. Eddie's pretty sure he's in love. (Part 1 of zoologist buck)

doing the things that animals do by trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Zoologist Buck AU | 3K | Teen): “Hey,” Buck says, reaching out to grab Eddie's hand. “How do you feel about red carpets?” “Tacky in a bedroom, decent in a living room,” Eddie deadpans, because he likes to think he’s funny. or: Buck's still a zoologist. Eddie's definitely in love. (Part 2 of zoologist buck)

perfect boys with their perfect lives by littlesnowpea (Post-7x04 | 4K | Teen): Eddie storms into Frank’s office, sits in the chair across from him, and crosses his arms.Frank waits. “I’m not homophobic,” Eddie explains, and Frank raises an eyebrow. “I’m not! I love Hen and I love Karen and I have never been homophobic in my life.” “So what’s the issue?” “Buck is bi,” Eddie bites out. “And I don’t like it.” There’s a long pause. Then: “Okay,” Frank says. “Let’s unpack that.”

🔥 This May Be Practice, But I'm an Experienced Idiot by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Fake Dating, kinda, Getting Together | 10K | Teen): Buck overhears a conversation between Eddie, Hen, and Chim and misunderstands it all. Or, the one where Buck thinks Eddie’s only asked him on a date for practice.

🔥 change the prophecy by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Alternate Timeline, Curse/Magic | 30K | Mature): Buck has never felt secure in any of his relationships; he’s been searching for someone to see him the way he feels he’s meant to be seen, but after things start going downhill with Tommy, he thinks that person might just not exist. Eddie cannot figure out what’s wrong with him when it becomes clear things with Marisol aren’t going to work out. But what if they’re both forgetting something?

WIP

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 11/19 | 53K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 6/10 | 24K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?

Podfic

🔥 [Podfic] help me hold on to you by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for theyarnmaidstale/ @theyarnmaidstale (Getting Together, There Was Only One Bed | 1-1.5h | Teen): Hotel mix-ups happen. Buck knows this. Mistakes get made. Certain firefighters named Eddie Diaz forget to make a reservation and they're left with whatever the hotel has available when they walk in requesting a two-bed room when all that's left is a single queen-sized. Or, five times Buck and Eddie share a bed, but not their feelings and the one time they share both.

🔥 [Podfic] I, Hildy by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for whileyouresleeping/ @allyourfandomsbelongtous (S4 | 1-1.5h | Mature): It's not often that Buck is the sensible one in their little fire family - but seriously, someone has to let Eddie know that Hildy isn't taking over the world. That is, if Eddie would stop panicking about sentient technology long enough to listen to him. (or - the many ways in which Hildy interfered with Eddie and Buck's life, until they got the picture.)

🔥 [Podfic] beauty in the small things by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for thisissirius / @thisissirius (Canon Divergent, Writer Eddie | 45-60min | Mature): I don’t want therapy. I don’t want to self-medicate. I don’t want to be a failure to my son. How, then, is a guy supposed to deal with everything he suffered during war without damaging himself and his family? Yeah, writing wasn’t my first thought either, but here we are. (Part 1 of the trees of vermont [Podfics] )

🔥[Podfic] preceded by chaos by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for elisela/ @elisela (Canon Divergent, Not Firefighters | 30-45min | Mature): It’s easy to find work tending bar, easier still to flirt with everyone who passes by, to spend every night in a different bed. He tells himself that he’s having fun; he’s young, he’s sowing his wild oats, he has plenty of time to settle down. He tells himself it doesn’t matter if nobody wants a second date, if they don’t even want a first. (Part 2 of the trees of vermont [Podfics] )

🔥[Podfic] peace was never an option by Cass_Caelis/ @cassiopeiacaelis for trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Soulmate AU, Crack | 20-30min | Teen): Buck closes his eyes and tries to think of something that isn’t the curve of Eddie’s smile. Like the fact that he’ll have to try and beg Ravi for his couch back. Or that he’ll have to figure out a place to store said couch. Or that there’s something honking insistently beside him in the Jeep, far too close for comfort. Which - what? Or: it’s a beautiful day in LA, and Buck is being harassed by a horrible goose.

🔥[Podfic] Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for extasiswings/ @extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Archeology AU, Enemies to Lovers | 45-60min | Explicit): Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not. Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts. Except for how... he might not.

🔥Medicine Man (PODFIC) by ToughPaperRound/ @toughpaperround // fic by LovelyLittleGrim / @lovelylittlegrim (Getting Together | 20-30min | General): Buck doesn't know what to do when Eddie kisses him on the forehead the first time (or the second time) but he does know he wants him to do it again.

🔥[Podfic] paint me a heaven with your bloodied mouth by MistMarauder / @mistmarauder for extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Getting Together | 30-45min | Teen): Buck. Four letters. One syllable. Eddie knows it’s a nickname. He doesn’t know why Buck picked it or why Buck seems to use it exclusively, but he figures it isn’t really his business. And also that it probably isn’t that deep—all of them use nicknames at work or otherwise in their daily lives. Eddie himself might find it weird if anyone outside of his immediate family suddenly started using his full name regularly after so many years of only rarely hearing it from anyone else. So. Eddie calls Buck Buck. And he doesn’t think anything of it. At least…not at first.

🔥[Podfic] and longer by far by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for farfromthstars/ @buckactuallys (Marriage Proposal | 1.5-2h | Teen): Eddie’s been married once, and after Shannon asked him for a divorce and then died before they could do anything about it, he figured that was it for him. One marriage with all its ups and downs is enough for a lifetime. Granted, he didn’t think he’d fall in love with Buck and be lucky enough for that love to be returned. OR Everyone seems to expect Eddie to propose to Buck any minute now, which is annoying because Eddie doesn’t want to get married again. He's sure of that. Or is he?

🔥[podfic] I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by Itty_Bitty_Blondie/ @itty-bitty-blondie by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (You've Got Mail Fusion, S2 | 3-3.5h | Teen): When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other.

🔥Even the Bartender Knows (PODFIC) by ToughPaperRound/ @toughpaperround (Outsider POV, Getting Together | 20-30min | Teen): The Bartender at The Manhole gets a lot of guys coming into his bar who are questioning their sexuality. Helping them through it is kinda part of his job. But when a pretty Blond comes in and starts going on and on about how in love he is with his best friend, only for a man fitting said description of that best friend, walks in a few nights later going on and on about how in love he is with his best friend, well he's never seen that before.

[roleplay-evil]

Resident Evil Resistance Starters - Mastermind Edition

"This is your final chance! Kill or be killed!"

"The weak shall be slaughtered."

"Can you be any weaker than you already are?"

"Thank you for not fighting harder."

"In another time, we could have been friends... Well, I will make your end swift."

"You will never be the villain that I've become."

"You will never see your loved ones again."

"Hey, I just saw your picture on the side of a milk carton! Oh... No, no, no. My mistake. No one gives a fuck that you're missing."

"I could let you live. I won't, but I could."

"Your struggle is not unique, though I do enjoy it."

"You have escaped death's scythe before, but I was not the one swinging the blade that day."

"Does it hurt? Go on! Try to move!"

"It hurts like a bitch, yes?"

"I can still destroy you! I must destroy you!"

"Making me angry will only make this harder for you!"

"Keep running. You do not want me to catch you after this."

"You would risk the world rather than sacrifice yourself?"

"Revolution will come not from cowardice, but from sacrifice."

"This is for that time you forgot my birthday, [name]!"

"Hold still and I may allow you to die quickly!"

"You don't want to escape, do you?"

"Are you enjoying this? Why do you ask to be chased?"

"That was it? That was all you could muster? Pathetic."

"If I were you, I would hurry. But I'm not. You can choose to die here."

"You will not escape me twice."

"Time to literally see what you're made of."

"I'll crush you with my bare hands!"

"I will tear out your insides myself!"

"Typically I wouldn't step in like this, but it's so much fun!"

"I want you to suffer longer."

"I don't want you to suffer. Give up."

"Your mortality disgusts me."

"Everyone dies eventually! Let your time be now!"

"I have everything I need except your death!"

"Your vapid life will soon flash before your eyes."

"My work is more important than your brief life."

"I am sorry, but I must do this. I am as trapped on this path as you are."

"Their death was necessary."

"My client wishes you dead."

"This isn't personal. I simply need to expunge your existence."

"Sorry, but you know far too much about my work with [blank]. I can't let you leave here."

"How did you get in here? No matter. You shouldn't expect to leave."

"I want to witness the fear in your eyes!"

"You are immensely predictable."

"I can toy with you however I wish!"

"This weapon lacks elegance, but it will suffice."

"I call this one the poisoninator! Eh, the name could use some work."

"You cannot outrun my bullets!"

"I barely need to aim with this! Look, I'm closing my eyes!"

"You are only irritating me! You cannot stop me!"

"To think I actually felt sorry for you... Now you're just beginning to annoy me."

"I like you. I will still kill you, but that's the way things go."

"Why do you seek to annoy me?"

"This is not your lucky day."

"Peekaboo, my friend."

"They are pulled to the scent of your fear!"

"Scared little rabbit... Run, run, run!"

"Aw, my bird... The cage has found you."

"I don't want you going anywhere."

"Stay alive, my cute guinea pig."

"You cling to life as if you have something to live for."

"A very minor accomplishment. Don't let it go to your head."

"You have survived too long!"

"There should be a pile of you by now."

"I confess, I am somewhat surprised you lived."

"You will not see your death coming."

"Will you even reach the final conflict? Or wilt here?"

"I knew you would take this route."

"You have strength... but I doubt your fortitude."

"What curious seeds of knowledge will grow from our time together?"

"My whole life has been a prelude to the knowledge that I gained today..."

"[name]... You can still help me."

"I did not expect such success from the likes of you."

"That is most impolite."

"Haven't you caused enough problems?"

"I will not allow you to undermine my work!"

"That will not prevent my inevitable victory."

"Do you think that will be enough to overcome me? Ha. I will not allow it."

"You're making this so very, very easy for me!"

"I will claim the power that is rightfully mine!"

"Take [blank]. Let's see how far it truly gets you."

"You didn't think I would let you have this, did you?"

"If that was something you needed, do you think I would tell you?"

"Did you take that? Or did I want you to have it?"

"This is hopeless. Give up. Time will kill you as certainly as I will."

"I expected disappointment and you delivered."

"Are you trying that because you are stupid? Or because you think that I am?"

"Why are you still trying this? You will not succeed."

"If it's in your nature to lead, you must also prepare to see all others die."

"Let this be a lesson. Have no friends. Have no allegiances."

"You cannot rely on others. Betray them before they cast you off to save themselves!"

"You were right not to trust the others."

"The others will not save you in the end. Their friendship will sputter into darkness."

"How did it take you so long to get that?"

"If you were any more stupid, bricks would think you're gonna take their jobs."

"Who's an idiot sandwich now?!"

"I assure you, you fucked that up. In case you were doubtful."

"You are wasting your time and more importantly, mine!"

"I have met rocks that move faster than you!"

"I hope you do not think you managed that against my will."

"How do you know that this wasn't my plan from the beginning?"

"Now that you're warmed up, let's really test you."

"Extraordinary! I must understand how you're doing this."

"This will be a setback for my research. I hope you're happy."

"You have strength and intelligence, but even those will not be enough to save you today."

"You think you're tough but you know nothing of true strength. Let me show you."

"At first I dismissed you, but I see ruthlessness there!"

"If I were to judge on looks, you wouldn't worry me, but the strangest people could surprise you..."

"Ooh, plucky, aren't you?"

"Stubborn little thing, aren't you?"

"Your stubbornness is not admirable."

"I admire your dedication to breaking shit."

"You possess spirit... and I will break it!"

"Someone's getting pretty fucking big for their boots, aren't they?"

"Ah, you are tough... but not tough enough, hm?"

"The end is not near. You will not leave."

"Among your peers, I have the highest hope for you."

"I don't understand how any of this could have happened."

"Mind where you bleed! I just got this floor how I like it."

"I have a first-aid kit for your boo-boo."

"Well, if [name] sees I've fucked that up, then I'll be trouble. Thank you very much, asshole."

"I know, I know... I'm charming company. You just wanted to play more with me!"