#but for all the frustration you can feel how much their temperaments & attitudes & sense of accountability toward racing align
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mclaren still have their p2 streak because lando and oscar are both capable of picking up the pieces for their teammate, lando zoomed away from a somewhat tense interview about an incident being misrepresented by journalists literally midway through a question to go congratulate oscar and came back positively beaming, oscar sat there patiently after the team photo so he could pat lando's knee instead of spraying the team with champagne and lando kept up the osco bit in their post-race debrief...... tfw a team is kind of functional and 2 guys just kind of like each other ❓
#i'll shut up now sorry 😔#but for all the frustration you can feel how much their temperaments & attitudes & sense of accountability toward racing align#🤷♀️ hashtag team#text
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dirkuu is pale
I see a lot of people assuming that Dirk/Caliborn is blackrom. In fact, I used to think so too. But the more I've thought about these two, the more I've come to realize that there's a different quadrant that describes their relationship much, much better: moirallegiance.
I want to preface this by saying that neither of these characters are trolls, so one can't expect their feelings to map 1:1 onto troll quadrants. But if you are looking for a quadrant to characterize their relationship, I think that pale romance is a much closer analogue for what's going on here than troll kismesissitude -- and certainly far more on the mark than cherub kismesissitude, which is a whole other can of worms.
So let's start with that. Caliborn is from a species that "naturally" experiences blackrom, so why don't I think cherub-style blackrom is what's going on here?
Cherub vs. troll kismesissitude
We get a fair amount of information about troll blackrom throughout Homestuck, but one thing I want to highlight about it is that it's not just pure, vitriolic hatred. There's a core of respect there, of wanting your kismesis to be better than they are. Karkat explains it well when talking to John about his black crush on Terezi (emphasis mine):
JOHN: i'm just saying i find her, like, somewhat annoying, and REALLY aggravating a lot of the time, but that's it! KARKAT: BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE FEELING IS! KARKAT: IT DOESN'T START OUT AS FULL BLOWN ANTIPATHY, AND IT RARELY EVEN REACHES SUCH AN EXTREME LEVEL OF HOSTILITY EVEN OVER LONG TERM BLACK RELATIONSHIPS. […] KARKAT: WHAT YOU'RE *TRYING* TO SAY IS, YOU HAD FRUSTRATED, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARD HER, BUT THEY DON'T COMPREHENSIVELY ACCOUNT FOR YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD HER. KARKAT: MEANING, THERE ARE SOME THINGS ABOUT HER YOU ACTUALLY LIKE, BUT THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS MAKE IT HARD FOR YOU TO PUT YOUR FINGER ON THEM, OR EVEN WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. KARKAT: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY STANDARD. WHAT GOOD WOULD IT BE HAVING A KISMESIS WHO DIDN'T POSSESS QUALITIES YOU ACTUALLY ADMIRED ON SOME LEVEL? KARKAT: THAT WOULD BE BORING, AND IT WOULDN'T EVEN WORK. THERE'D BE NO TENSION, NO PUSH AND PULL IN THE TURBULENT EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE. THE SUBTLE POSITIVES ADD FUEL TO THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, OFTEN GIVING THEM A REASON TO EXIST AT ALL. THEY INFLAME THE AGGRAVATING FACTORS, REMINDING YOU DEEP DOWN HOW MUCH YOU WOULD LIKE AND ADMIRE THIS PERSON IF IT WASN'T FOR ALL THEIR INFURIATING FLAWS, AND THE INCREDIBLE SENSE OF FRUSTRATION THAT CAUSES ALONG WITH ALL THE ASSOCIATED HOT-HEADED FEELINGS, THAT'S THE ESSENCE OF BLACK ROMANCE.
Cherub romance, on the other hand, is much more vitriolic. Here's Aranea explaining it (typing quirk removed for legibility):
Like humans, cherubs perceive romance through only one quadrant. Unlike humans, their relationships are exclusively black. But their mating ritual is much more violent than any practice trolls would, or even physically could engage in. And though it is critical to the perpetuation of their race, the confrontations can sometimes be lethal to one or both cherubs. Regardless of the outcome, the stakes are always high. The winner of the duel will assume control of the other's territory, while the loser will slink away to bear the offspring. So as she toured the planetary wreckage, she knew her quest for a mate was not just about the propagation of her species, but the liberation of billions from a monster.
For cherubs, there's no question of wanting your mate to be "better". There's no core of admiration. Your mate is a bitter enemy who needs to be eradicated -- perhaps one only you can eradicate (ah, romance). Cherub mating is a life-or-death battle where the only possible outcomes are defeat or conquest. No one will be waxing red for their mate afterward. That simply isn't a thing, in the cherub understanding of romance.
Furthermore, a cherub's mate is their opposite, in every way possible. They have diametrically opposing goals, temperaments, and philosophies of life. There's no possibility of seeing eye to eye with your mate. They're simply everything you aren't, and you despise them for it.
Caliborn's feelings towards Dirk
So. Does Caliborn have blackrom feelings towards Dirk? And I mean cherub blackrom, in its full, vitriolic glory. Does Caliborn despise Dirk, and think he's a threat among threats who needs to be eliminated at all costs?
Well. He wants to kill him, sure. But of all the people Caliborn wants to kill, he wants to kill Dirk the least.
IT'S THE DIRK HUMAN. HE IS SOMEWHAT TOLERABLE. I MEAN. AS A STRONG AND COMPETENT MALE. What. So you're down with the Dirk? NO. ALL I'M SAYING IS. THE DEATH I WISH ON HIM DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ESPECIALLY PAINFUL. IT COULD BE LIKE. GOING TO SLEEP. WITH MAYBE ONLY A SHORT SCREAM. I think you want to be bros with him. SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
So right off the bat, we can see that Caliborn does not at all have the sort of hatred for Dirk that cherubs have for their mates. He barely even thinks Dirk needs to die. Furthermore, he sees himself and Dirk as philosophically aligned in some ways, both being strong, competent males who like to fuck shit up. Hardly the sort of diametrically opposing role that a cherubic mate would fill.*
Now, what we do see here is some of that admiration that you see sometimes in troll blackrom. And there's a bit more of that in Caliborn's masterpiece, when Caliborn says of the fight between himself and Dirk:
IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD FIGHT BETWEEN US. BECAUSE HE'S STRONG, AND I ADMIRE THAT. WHY SHOULDN'T I LET A BATTLE HAPPEN FOR LONGER, WHEN TWO TOUGH DUDES ARE INVOLVED, STRUTTING THEIR STUFF.
So, okay. Maybe there's something here a bit akin to troll kismesissitude, if not cherub romance. But I still don't think that's the quadrant that matches best. Because, to be honest, there are a lot of people Caliborn wants dead, and several he sees as rivals (e.g. Jake, Dave). But there's only one person he's said anything like this about:
uu: BuT. THE DIRK HuMAN IS A PRETTY COOL GuY. uu: HE GETS THINGS DONE. uu: AND ISN'T AFRAID TO FuCK SOME SHIT uP. uu: LIKE. HE ACTuALLY LISTENS. uu: TO STuFF THAT'S IMPORTANT FOR A DuDE TO GET OFF HIS CHEST. uu: YOu KNOW. HE *GETS* EXACTLY THAT WHICH THE BITCHES CAN NEVER uNDERSTAND. uu: I GuESS WHAT I MEAN IS. HE REALLY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS. uu: TO TRuLY BE A BRO.
Yeah. Caliborn likes talking about his feelings with Dirk. To be frank, this is an unprecedented admission from him. There are a few people he'll admit to not entirely hating -- mostly his lackeys -- but no one else he sees as a bro.
And why shouldn't he see Dirk as a bro? After all…
Dirk likes Caliborn
Yeah, so, here's the thing: Dirk simply does not hate Caliborn. Like, at all. In fact, he thinks he and Caliborn are friends.
TT: Surely there must be at least one of our virtues you admire. uu: YES. AMBITION. THAT'S THE ONLY GOOD ONE. uu: AND I THINK YOu GOT THAT. WHICH IS MAYBE WHY. YOu'RE THE ONLY ONE I CAN PuT uP WITH FOR ANY DuRATION? uu: LET'S CALL IT A GRuDGING RESPECT. WHICH IS THE ONLY KIND THAT'S EVEN WORTH A FuCK. TT: I'll take that as a rare overture of friendship.
He thinks Caliborn is "fascinating".
TT: You're a pretty fascinating guy, in a way. I can't really figure you out. TT: In case you're wondering why I put up with you more than my friends do.
He's entirely willing to help Caliborn and seems to enjoy talking to him. He made Caliborn's robot leg for him. He very memorably drew a whole bunch of custom "porn" for him, and was entirely willing to do so for no particular reason other than that he thought it was fun.
But more to the palerom point… Dirk tries to pacify Caliborn.
TT: I thought the point was to cooperate with your coplayers to achieve an objective. TT: Not compete with them or try to kill them. I don't think we've had one conversation where you didn't express the desire to kill her. uu: I GuESS WE'LL JuST HAVE TO SEE. WON'T WE? uu: I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY A DIFFERENT KIND OF SESSION. uu: ONE WHERE THE PLAYERS FIGHT FOR SuPREMACY. RATHER THAN WORK TOGETHER. uu: I THINK THAT IT MuST BE THAT WAY. uu: BECAuSE THAT IS HOW I WANT IT TO BE. uu: AND IF I WANT SOMETHING TO BE TRuE HARD ENOuGH. THEN THAT MAKES IT SLIGHTLY MORE ABSOLuTELY IRREFuTABLE. uu: ARE YOu FEELING ME, FuCKER? TT: Maybe you're right. TT: But since that's how you feel now, maybe the truth is that the game is challenging you to overcome those feelings? TT: What if your real quest is to put aside your differences and work together, if you want to both survive, and grow as a person?
He tries to get Caliborn to get along better with Calliope.
TT: Does your sister even know you're into this sappy shipping stuff? TT: You berate her constantly for everything, and I know she likes to write and illustrate romfics and the like. […] TT: I'm just saying, it's an interest you have in common. If you told her you liked her romantic artwork, maybe you could bond over that?
Frankly, these are some textbook pale overtures on Dirk's part.** If they were trolls, there would be no question that his feelings are the palest of pale.
And, look, Dirk is not at all successful in pacifying Caliborn, and to be honest I don't think he ever fully took Caliborn seriously as a threat. But still, if you're looking for a quadrant to describe these two, I'd say moirallegiance is it.
But then again, they aren't trolls. They're a human and a cherub. So in the end, maybe it would be more suitable to just call them exactly what Caliborn is so tsundere about admitting that they are: bros.
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Footnotes:
* If you're looking for someone Caliborn does feel cherub-style romantic hatred for: Calliope. It's Calliope. It's always been Calliope.
** Actually, now that I think about it, they're arguably ashen overtures where Dirk is attempting to mediate between Calliope and Caliborn. Which itself would be a fascinating ship. But let's not get too into that here.
#this is something i've been exploring at great length in playing house#but in case you wanted the cliffs notes without having to wade through a bunch of oviposition fetishism. here it is.#meatmeta
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Couples Chronicles: A Magical Night
It was a warm night in New York City. The Begonia was one of the cities newest luxury restaurants that boasted high class cuisine and an atmosphere of sophistication. Perfect for the long awaited date night of certain married couple.
One of which was Theodore Bishop. A 24, year old with dirty blonde hair, glasses, and a beard he had meant to better prune but was too swamped with work recently to keep it maintained. His work was often very demanding as a library administrator who was in charge of not one but several college universities across the east coast. He had recently left a comfy position in Massachusetts after finally settling down.
He had hoped tonight would’ve been a nice escape, and opportunity to finally spend some time with his husband outside of late night takeout and sitcoms.
“What the hell do you need to do to get some service hear?! I swear the one time we choose to go out for dinner-“
“Relax Theo, someone we’ll get to us eventually.”
Victor Trujillo was 23, and couldn’t be more his husbands opposite when it came to attitude and temperament. He was for the most part easygoing and worked as receptionist at one of the top modeling agency’s in the city. Many would mistake him for a lost model in his own right. His hair was often a medium length crown of waves that other men would love to run their fingers through. Vic wore his wedding ring proudly, but that didn’t stop some playful flirting at times from others, much to Theodore’s frustration
“Vic, I had these reservations booked for a month. You know how hard it is to work around both our schedules for a night like this! Pft, serves me right for expecting a nice dinner with my husband.”
“Hey you know I didn’t mean it like that- and look, our waiter is here.”
The waiter had his black hair slicked back into a sort of pompadour. Roughly around the age of the couple.
“Terribly sorry, we’re a little understaffed tonight.” The waiter says as he refilled the table’s water. “Hate to have kept such handsome men waiting.” He added, eyes lingering on Vic.
“That’s no problem, I was just lost in the menu anyway.” Vic replied in with his usual smooth bravado.
“Vic I told you try to brand from Milan! I had some in my last business trip and it was excellent.”
“Haha I remember Theo, but I’m just not sure about such a fancy brand is all.”
The waiter sensed some tension and smiled, quite the couple these two made.
“Well in that case, might I make a recommendation. It’s the least I can do after make you wait Mr- “
“The name’s Victor, my friends call me Vic, this is my husband Theo.”
“Theodore.” Vic’s husband astutely corrected.
“Right, well, I call him Theo.” Vic chuckled.
“Well, Vic, I feel as if a man such as yourself might be better suited for our red wines from upstate.”
The waiter promptly turned and picked up one of the bottles resting on a neighboring empty table. As he turned to face Vic once again, Theodore noticed he oh so subtly licked his lips.
“Goes down smooth and has quite the full body flavor, perfectly suited for a man of your caliber.”
Theodore spoke up. “If that stuff is fairly local it must be from Jersey. Vic the Milan brand is fine.”
“Come on Theo, I love hearing about this fancy drink. You were saying?” Vic said, urged the waiter to continue.
“With pleasure, as I was saying, not many know properly how to appreciate a full body as luscious as…” the waiter hesitated, his eyes were undeniably fixated in Vic now.
“… this particular vintage. Definitely in need of some attention wouldn’t you say?”
Before Vic could even reply, Theodore spoke.
“Actually I’ve had a change of heart, we’d love to sample that vintage. Though before that, I’d appreciate a palette cleansers and since you’re so woefully understaffed, my condolences, may we please have some bread and sparkling waters prior to that. Thank you.”
The waiter grinned and nodded as he began to excuse himself to go fetch the requested items. Before he left, he added one last comment.
“Oh and Victor, as you browse might I suggest the Yorkshire sausage for your entree? It’s simply heavenly.” The waiter licked his lips and winked.
Vic took one look at Theodore and knew what type of night this would be…
He held up his menu and began to speak in a hushed his voice.
“Theo, you’re not thinking about um- doing something here right? Weren’t you looking forward to a quiet dinner?”
“I wasn’t at first but this waiter is getting on my nerves.” Theodore replied, no doubt already scheming.
“Babe please, um, maybe that’s all just a rehearsed thing he does for all the guests! Just trying to really push the wine?? Let me just order as soon as he gets back… um let me see here... what about the satay chicken breasts? How’s that sound?”
Vic sad attempts at diversions fell of deaf ears as Theo noticed the waiter from a distance. He was already returning, tray in hand. “Oh now he wants to be attentive!” Theo thought to himself.
Just as the waiter was half way back, and in the midst of passing tables, Theo to enter a hushed whisper.
“This waiter has been flirting with you all night, we both can tell…so he’ll just be on the receiving end of my spell.”
Vic knew it was a lost cause after hearing his husband start to rhyme.
“Now I know using my magic makes you nervous, but someone has to make it clear that we did not receive good service.”
The room became slightly darker, looks like Theo was feeling theatrical tonight. The other restaurant guests and staff were oblivious, only the couple and the still distant waiter noticed something amiss with the atmosphere as Theo continued…
“Now it’s starting to feel a bit warm, let’s see what under the top half of that uniform.”
And with those words, the waiters vest vanished as his undershot began to rise, exposing his pecs for all to see. He was speechless, and was almost immobile from the shock!
However, it seemed as if no one on the restaurant even noticed…
Despite the miraculous event unfolding, no patron even bothered to look up from their conversations or meals.
“Alright Theo I think he’s good and frightened… lesson learned.” Vic said, hoping his husband would leave it at that.
But Theodore wanted to finish what he started.
“Nice pecs, for a waiter who’s so rude, better keep that hair off the food.”
Suddenly, the waiter felt an unbearably prickly sensation permeate throughout in his chest. He stumbled back as he tried to scratch at himself, almost dropping the tray he was holding in the process. He peered down in horror as his pecs seemed to quickly become engulfed in hair. Each new follicle felt like an insect bite. It was a fitting sensation gives that his pecs began to expand as well.
Soon enough, the waiter’s undershirt replaced with a tank top. The flimsy straps struggled to keep his new hairy globes contained.
As the restaurant regained it’s usual lighting, the waiter attempted to hide his changed chest behind his now empty tray. Theo didn’t even have time to take admire his magical handiwork before the now transformed man ran into the employee lounge.
“There. Hopefully we’ll get a different waiter soon enough.” Theo smiled.
“Well I guess there’s no changing your mind.” Vic solemnly said while getting out of his seat.
“And where do you think you’re going? I’m sure another waiter will be here soon enough.”
“It’s nothing, just gotta take a leak in the restroom.”
“Oh, before you go Vic.” Theo grinned before clearing his throat.
“Steer clear of the urinals because other men might stare… and you might not like how well you compare.”
The rather impressive cock outline on Vic’s slacks then vanished without a trace. Seems like he had just been shrunk down there.
Vic rolled his eyes. “And here I thought I wasn’t going to be the one getting changed tonight.”
“It’s just a precaution in case that waiter wasn’t the only one around here tonight with wandering eyes.” Theo said before returning to his menu.
Vic simply sighed, hopefully his Warlock husband would set things right by tomorrow morning…
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“Stop it.”
Mace Windu was a Jedi Master, and as such had years of training resulting in near limitless patience.
A limit, however, that his closest companion and partner in time-travel was testing with his constant pacing. And huffing.
Plo Koon ignored his request. Mace sighed.
“Would you just sit down? You’re not going to bring them home any quicker and you’re wearing down my rug” he warned.
Plo looked at him, looked down at the rug, and continued pacing.
“I don’t know what you’re worried about” Mace continued, happily ignoring the sulky silence. “We know their mission goes well, we’ve done this before!” he exclaimed. “It’s a resounding success and half a planet ends up with a crush on Obi-Wan.” He said matter-of-fact.
He felt a reluctant pulse of amusement from Plo in the Force, as much as the man tried to keep it off his face. Mace could always tell.
He stood up, joining him in front of the sofa.
“Nobody gets blown up, nobody gets injured.” He reminded gently. “The Tume agreement is signed, as it is every year, and they both live to worry us another day” he said kindly.
Plo shook his head.
“I know how it went last time. I remember the debate” he corrected. “But things could be different my friend, we have changed the timeline. The smallest difference could be vital, and we have made a very large difference.” Plo explained, in his usual measured voice. “We have altered young Anakin’s temperament; Force only knows that he’ll do. And Obi-Wan has much less to prove.”
Mace frowned. His friend was making some irritatingly good points, but he remembered the two boys standing in the council room not one week ago; a familiar determined glint in Obi-Wan Kenobi’s eye that, in the coming years, would move planets, and Skywalker looking up at all the Masters as if they hung the stars.
“They will not disappoint us” Mace said surely.
Plo stopped.
“I know” he sighed. “I just…worry. It is most unbecoming of a Jedi” the Kel Door admitted.
Mace smiled.
“We are no longer typical Jedi my friend, and you are not the only one.”
It was true. Despite his words of reassurance, waving the two off in the hanger had brought a distinct clench in his stomach, and the training droids in the dojo had had a very long week.
Both froze, two very familiar force presences making themselves known, and not a moment later Mace’s commlink chirped shrilly.
They grinned at each other.
“Windu”
“Master, Knight Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker have just requested permission to land” the unidentified voice on the other end of the call informed them professionally.
“Thank you, Windu out.” He closed the link without a second thought, already grabbing his cloak and joining Plo, standing impatiently, by the door.
“Wait – we can’t both go!” Mace exclaimed, the thought suddenly occurring to him as Plo reached for the door control.
The other Jedi looked at him, clearly irritated.
“Why not?”
Mace rolled his eyes. One of them had to be sensible.
“Plo, how’s that going to look? Two senior council members waiting for a new Knight and a Junior Padawan? People already think we’re too close” he exclaimed, frustrated with his friend.
Whilst they both had a wildly different attitude towards the A Word (developed over the course of the war and in their new situation) appearances were something they had to be mindful of.
Whilst his expression did not change, the Force around Plo expressed just how much of a toss he gave about appearances.
His friend folded his arms.
“Alright, we can re-convene at the flat later. I will meet them in the hanger.” He said calmly, as if it was some kind of compromise.
Mace raised one eyebrow.
“Any why do you get to welcome them home?” he asked archly.
“You waved them off” Plo said simply. “It is my turn.”
“Ah that’s not how-Plo!” he cried out, outraged as Plo quickly opened the door and strode out into the corridor, pushing Mace gently back with the Force whilst he made his escape.
Leaving the Master of the Order spluttering at the injustice of it all, in his wake.
---
Plo was working hard to keep his happiness behind his shields as he strode into the hanger just in time to see the temple shuttle land. He ran a critical eye over it, having a sudden vision of Skywalker’s battered old ship in that first timeline. As liable to explode as it was to put the wipers on.
Thank goodness that was a bridge to be crossed in the future. He made a mental note to keep an eye out for Anakin adopting ships.
Obi-Wan ruffled young Anakin’s hair, laughing as the boy tried to squirm away, as they descended the ramp. The playful scowl on Anakin’s face transformed into excitement as he sensed Plo and turned to him, held back from running over for his usual hug by his Master’s lightning quick reflexes, grabbing a wrist and holding him back.
Plo sent a wave of welcome over to them both in the Force as they came closer, a genuine smile on Obi-Wan’s face and Anakin practically buzzing with excitement.
Obi-Wan bowed deeply in respect, clearly nudging Anakin through their training bond to do the same, and the boy hastily followed suit.
Plo held a hand up and nodded at them both as they rose smiling. Both looked absolutely fine, perhaps Obi-Wan a little tired, but Plo had a feeling that was more to do with the energetic ten-year -old he’d just spent a week with, than the challenge of the mission.
“Welcome back” Plo once again pushed his pleasure at them in the Force. Predictably, Obi-Wan’s eyes slid away from looking him in the face, but he smiled gratefully all the same as Plo plucked the bulky pack out of his hands and shouldered it. Anakin nearly skipped as they all headed towards the exit and made for the Kenobi/Skywalker residence.
“Thank you Master, it’s good to see you-“
“Master Plo, it was so wizard we went in a hyperlane and the pilot let me sit up front and Chose was awesome Master it was hailing when we got there, like really hard rain! And they had massive beds and loads of puddings and me and Master Obi-Wan went to a play with singing-“
As the child rambled excitedly on, Plo shared a bemused look with a resigned Obi-Wan, sending him a wave of amused sympathy at him in the Force. Received with a dry raise of the young man’s eyebrows.
It must have been a long week for the twenty-three-year-old.
Content to let the child’s happiness wash over him, and Obi-Wan appearing to enjoy the lack of expected contribution for once, the journey to the flat was mostly uneventful, only a few Jedi casting them amused looks at Anakin’s wild gesticulating.
“Anakin, Obi-Wan!”
They were stopped from keying in the door code by Mace’s cry of greeting as he rounded the corner towards the little group. Ignoring Plo he went straight up to the boys, Anakin beaming at him and Obi-Wan bowing once again.
“Master”
“Hi Master Mace! Guess what? We saw hail on Chose and-
“Anakin” Obi-Wan blissfully interrupted before the whole recount could begin again. “Why don’t we get inside and get the tea on and then you can tell Master Mace and Master Plo all about our mission” he suggested firmly, in a way that was definitely not a suggestion.
“Yes Master”
Obi-Wan keyed in their code and stepped inside, Anakin following happily kicking off his boots by the door.
Mace, still giving Plo the cold shoulder, stepped inside first. And made a distinct noise of surprise. Plo followed curiously looking over his shoulder.
“Obi-Wan – what happened?” he asked, aghast.
Plo held back an unseemly laugh.
The flat was a tip.
There were robes on the floor, he spotted two pairs of boots sticking out from under the sofa and a discarded pack under the table. What looked like the entire Temple’s supply of mugs were scattered on almost every surface, alongside precariously stacked datapads and flimsy piles on the tables and on the floor, some of which had fallen over.
As he picked his way across the room, avoiding random bits of droid and one or two power tools, Plo could spy a half-eaten bowl of cereal on the kitchen counter when he peered inside, and about three days worth of washing up. A laundry basket was sitting next to the washing machine, overflowing with brown and beige.
The two young Jedi stood awkwardly in the middle of the flat.
Obi-Wan flushed a little.
“Ah, we left on quite short notice” he offered.
“I don’t think it’s that bad really” Anakin offered with an awkward shrug, slyly kicking something further under the sofa.
“This is….” Mace was lost for words. Whilst Plo hadn’t spent much time in Master Kenobi’s home the first time around, he had always thought the man to be fastidiously clean, and what he had seen had been very tidy.
Anakin however, was no surprise.
Plo could sense Mace doing the same thing he was, adding “domestic help” to the Obi-Wan Support List. They’d been so focussed on studies and their boy’s personal development they completely forgot that the Knight had never lived by himself before, never mind taken care of a youngling!
Obi-Wan apologetically shoved some pads and an old robe off the sofa to make space and disappeared into the kitchen to put the kettle on.
The two Masters sat down gingerly. Anakin on the floor opposite.
“Your mission was a success?” Plo asked conversationally as Obi-Wan reappeared with the mugs of tea. Plo caught Mace peering at the rim for signs of prior use, and gave him a look.
“Yeah” Anakin answered before Obi-Wan could get a word in “the Chosians didn’t like me at first but they really liked Master Obi-Wan and they spent ages talking. And people kept giving him stuff.” The boy explained with a disgusted expression. “Flowers and cakes and-“
“Yes thank you Padawan” Obi-Wan interrupted loudly, his ears turning a rather bright shade of pink. Mace smirked at him and Plo sent his partner a mental swat.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat.
“The mission was a success and the Tume Agreement has been updated and signed.” The Knight took a sip of his tea. “We will not need to go back for a while, it should be valid for another ten years” he finished casually as if accomplishing something no Jedi had managed before, on his first mission, was an afterthought.
Mace and Plo shared a look.
Just like last time.
It was a huge relief that their presence had had no adverse effects on the Negotiator’s skills. As Plo sat and listened to Mace congratulate the blushing young man he had a thought.
What could these two, The Team; the best Jedi of his generation and the most powerful force user ever, accomplish with the support of Mace and Plo this time around?
The Sith had better pack their bags. He thought smugly.
---
To get a feel for the whole set up of Obi-Wan Anakin’s first mission when they were assigned it “the first time around” read this Snippet Of Nothing, which is the mission being discussed, and is from the councils point of view.
#Space Dads Go Time Travelling#plo koon#mace windu#Obi-Wan Kenobi#Anakin Skywalker#Bby anakin#fluff#Old married couple Mace and Plo#surprisingly messy Obi-Wan#bit long this one#obi-wan fanfic
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master post of disturbingly accurate miscellany.
sagittarius moons constantly put on a cheerful facade to cover their sadness. this often leads to internal bitterness and frustration which gets translated into violent urges and a certain amount of hostility towards others. they may often try to hide it and to keep being in-your-face happy but one can definitely feel an aura of suppressed anger around them. like a feeling of hair-triggered temperament lurking beneath the surface. [source]
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venus in the 4th house: you feel like home. living in a comfortable, safe and beautiful house is very important to you, just like establishing a family. your relationship with your family, friends and significant other is of utmost importance to you and you feel the need to create a loving atmosphere for them. although being nurturing is an amazing quality, your attachment to your partner can be so overwhelming that it can lead to break-ups. you’re terrified of stressful situations, scandals and chaos, and you absolutely need to focus on being in a peaceful environment and one where you can pursue your happiness. very nostalgic and overprotective of loved ones. you need your partner to constantly reassure you of their love to you or you’ll go crazy with feelings of jealousy and insecurity. you love helping others, and you inspire love and trust in those around you. [source]
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saturn in the 5th: (I fear)…I’ll never feel true happiness. That I’ll always be holding myself back. That I’ll never achieve my true potential, that my light will always feel dimmed. That happiness will be taken away from me at any moment. That my anxieties will always be eating away at me, even when I’m surrounded by the ones I love. That my inner child will always feel neglected, and that, because of that, my creativity feels blocked. [source]
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the most noticeable difference between the negative (earth and water) and the positive (air and fire) venus signs for me is that the first really see love as a state of total reception, they connect it more to a passive state in which you can fully grasp and empathize with the other. and the second see love more as a pull towards the object of desire, an inspiration for movement. it’s like earth & water venus is the being towards which the fire & air venus gravitate. [source]
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i’m yet to meet a cancer venus that really enjoys cooking. i know a lot of people with this placement and they all really appreciate it when someone cooks for them and often comment on people’s cooking and know the best places where to eat…also they’re often on some type of special diet, be it out of their own will or due to health issues. but i’ve never see one that loves to cook. [source]
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So what is Virgo Vision? It’s a penetrating style of seeing the world, people and situations. People with V.V. will auto-scan for nuance and connections that are missed by most people. And then they cram the data into a complex details matrix that assesses it at Warp Speed.
Within microseconds, the Virgo or Virgo Rising formulates a multi-level analysis. They’re witty, informed and lauded for their ability to wisely parse complex circumstances. They streamline convoluted thought and design processes. They save people and organizations significant time and money via their V.V.
[...]
It’s an asset but also a liability. How could something so clearly a mercurial super-power be in any way the latter? Well, they can’t turn it off. Ever.
People with V.V. don’t have the comfort of overlooking something, to ease their passage through a stressful work week. Their mind is perpetually analyzing and making pertinent connections; if they are in an environment where people don’t care about those connections, the Virgo Vision doesn’t power down and go into ‘rest mode.’ It up-regulates into even faster operation.
If the person with V.V. can’t share or be understood, they gaze inward, running over every error, wrong step, miscalculation and poorly worded comment ever.
Details and data swarm their consciousness. They either freeze or default into a Saint Virgo stance. Without an appropriate outlet, the Virgo Rising or Virgo Sun person makes themselves the project. Every glance in the mirror is a call for a fix. Each meal a breakdown of the macros. They don’t view the scenery; they map it.
These people can lose the plot and replace it with a list of continuity errors and anachronisms. They’re well beyond that old cliche about not seeing “the forest for the trees.” People with Virgo Vision know the topography, soil components, leaf blight, mythology associated with that style of tree and the article they read on forestry four years ago. [source]
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Mercury Retrograde
When Mercury is retrograde at birth, the thinking processes are generally more acute, and the sense of humor rather quirky. People with Mercury retrograde take in information differently than those with Mercury direct in their natal charts. How many people are born with a retrograde Mercury? Roughly 18%.
Some people with this position struggle with doubts about their perceptions or their ability to learn, and there can be a lot of thinking, double-checking, and reviewing of thoughts and ideas before communicating them.
Neptune Retrograde
Those born with Neptune retrograde in their chart might tend to hide their vulnerabilities, their spiritual side, or their compassion, as they feel somewhat uncomfortable expressing them. These things can very well exist, and they run deep, but Neptune retrograde natives prefer to keep these things private. Deep faith can be missing, so that these people might be naturally mistrustful. When they are left to fill in the blanks, they might expect the worst. There can be a big fear of dreaming too big dreams, as they are afraid of being let down. [source]
. . . . .
Mercury is the planet of communication and how you express yourself and learn, and so those of you born with Mercury retrograde tend to feel very misunderstood. The energy of Mercury retrograde in the natal chart is actually very similar to that of Mercury in the 12th house (and how misunderstood you must be if you have natal Mercury retrograde in your 12th house!). You have difficulty communicating clearly with others, with being heard, with understanding others as well, and with using your mental energy properly.
[...]
There’s a tremendous amount of mental energy and power that can be unlocked with Mercury retrograde in the natal chart. It just usually takes a while to let go of the fear, isolation, or insecurity that accompanies this position. The insecurity can really kill the Mercury retrograde native. You need to work on developing confidence in your mental abilities, your ideas, your opinions, your words. Growing up feeling misunderstood no doubt caused that insecurity, but it’s a skin you must shed in adulthood, or you get stuck in that insecurity forever. You can be a quiet person, one who stumbles over their words publicly, or who is unfailingly truthful. You can have a wicked sense of humor because you interpret what you see in the world differently and point out the things that are so ridiculously absurd.
[...]
When transit (moving) Mercury is retrograde, this is when you thrive. The rest of us are completely hopeless, and you’re speeding along. This is because the retrograde energy is natural to you, so when Mercury is in his normal forward motion, you’re uncomfortable, but when he’s retrograde, you’re at home. This is a time when you can make great progress and really get your point across. You should make the most of the times when Mercury is retrograde. You can also work on better understanding the proper ways for you to communicate, express yourself, and learn during Mercury retrograde, so pay close attention to that. [source]
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However, when Mercury is in retrograde, this planet is way more introspective, thoughtful, and skeptical than usual. When moving direct, Mercury is fast-paced and eager to connect the dots, and while it might make you seem like a slow thinker when you have Mercury retrograde in your birth chart, it's only because you're doing a lot more thinking than anyone else would even think to do.
The truth is, being born during Mercury retrograde gives you an advantage when it comes to contemplative and all-encompassing thinking. You see every angle of an idea because you naturally have a tendency to look backwards and sideways, which is something Mercury is not naturally aiming to do. You have a tendency to review your choices and re-do things over and over again until you get it right. [source]
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With North Node in Libra, our South Node is in Aries. With North Node in the seventh house, our South Node is in the first house.
A tendency to rely on the self so much as to alienate important others in our lives, to be excessively competitive to the point of a me-first attitude, to take things personally, and to be impatient, rash, and impulsive at the expense of personal happiness are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, we need to work on sensitizing ourselves to the needs of others, to learn tact and cooperation, to put ourselves in another’s shoes, and to let go of an overwhelming self-consciousness that is blocking our desire to win. We are often afraid of the demands that a partner might put on us, and we don’t naturally look for feedback, preferring to act on the moment—on our own hunches and impulses. But for however hard we push ourselves, our plans will be blocked until we stop to consider the other side. We tend to go it alone, often passing up opportunities for growth because we are too focused on our own personal survival. Our impulses and instincts are overloaded, lacking in perspective, and acting upon them will often bring us strife—that is, until we learn to look at the other side, perhaps through the eyes of another. Through partnership, and through cooperation with others, we will attain the inner balance necessary for us to achieve our goals. [source]
#tree is a virgo#having a sag moon and venus in cancer is the worst let me tell you#SPEAKING OF MY SAGITTARIUS MOON
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168. porky’s super service (1937)
release date: july 3rd, 1937
series: looney tunes
director: ub iwerks
starring: mel blanc (porky), elvia allman (woman)
though ub iwerks gets the director’s credit, bob clampett and chuck jones both tackled the directing duties on this one. this is ub’s last credit at warner bros, touting an interminable stint of 2 (technically 3 if you count his early involvement in porky’s badtime story) cartoons. bob clampett would be the one to inherit his unit—according to bob, when he came into work one monday morning, he found iwerks’ director’s chair empty and was told that he was the director. this will be touched on more when covering porky’s badtime story.
slapstick is galore in this final iwerks credit—porky runs a service station, but runs into trouble when he has to fix up a car and keep an eye out on a sadistic, violent baby at the same time. with chuck jones’ frustration comedy and bob clampett’s sadistic antics, both combine to make quite an amusing effort for the time period.
already, the title card greets us with some ambiance as the sounds of car horns and motors preface a jazzy rendition of “i’m hatin’ this waitin’ around”, the cartoon’s motif. already, a wise decision to preserve money as the opening of the cartoon is reduced to a few layouts and pans: an overhead view of the titular service station trucks into a vertical pan of gas prices.
“GAS 3 ¢” is emblazoned proudly on the sign at the service station, but as the pan goes down, the audience (and customer) is taxed for much more than they bargained for:
STATE TAX 6 ¢
CITY TAX 4 ¢
COUNTRY TAX 7 ¢
UNEMPLOYMENT TAX 3 ¢
SOCIAL SECURITY TAX 5 ¢
FARM RELIEF TAX 2 ¢
LUXURY TAX 8 ¢
CARPET TACKS 5 ¢
TOTAL 43 ¢
as much of a groaner and an eye-roller the punchline is, my pun-loving self can’t get too angry about this. this was actually one of the first looney tunes cartoons i checked out on my own, and it gave me a good laugh the first time i saw it.
the titular pig himself is busy at work filling up gas, befuddled at the placement (or lack thereof) of a car’s gas valve. a question mark pops above his head to convey his plight, an iwerks staple--iwerks would even animate a scene in the oswald cartoon oh teacher (1927), where a cat uses its own question mark as a tripwire in order to steal oswald’s girlfriend from him. porky, however, isn’t that sadistic (at least, not yet)--instead, he asks the car owner where the gas goes. the car owner responds back in a german accent, “you vant to know?” “ye-ye-yes, i veh-vant to know.” the owner then addresses the audience: “hmmph. should i tell him?” this is certainly a radio catchphrase of some kind, but which it belongs to, i haven’t found. i can confirm that it’s bubbled up in a few other cartoons, at the very least.
nevertheless, the car owner/dog lifts up the entire top of the car, where a gas valve is situated inside. porky heads over to pump the gas, a closeup on the gas take reflecting an iwerks “shiver take” as the arrow eventually approaches the 10 galloon mark. when the arrow approaches 9, a little cuckoo bird pops out of the gas tank, quipping “at the sound of the gong, it will be exactly 10 gallons”--a reference to time tones being played on the radio. the bird listens, and when the “clock” strikes 10, it retreats back into its rightful place. while perhaps not the funniest gag today, it does have some clever and smooth animation.
a nice bit of character animation as porky happily flips his shiny new coin, interrupted by the sound of an approaching customer. porky fills the customer’s car with oil as per request (”oka-okeh-okeh-ok-oka-ok-ok--alright!”), thus sparking a variety of odd job gags—alerting a flat tire to a rather angry patron, who literally goes through the (car) roof in anger before tying a knot in the rubbery tire himself to fix the issue (complete with some rubbery animation, ever so common in the iwerks cartoons), and hitting the dents in another car, including a spontaneous dent in the window, causing a broken window in the aftermath via hammer. the gags aren’t gut-busting, yet they have some nice animation to them, especially character animation with porky. however, the start of the opening is slow in comparison to the second half—a part of me wonders if iwerks had more influence on the first half before clampett and jones really sunk their toes in with the rest of the cartoon.
the second half of the cartoon is marked by the sound of an angry horn—that is, an angry woman honking her horn. elvia allman lends her voice to the persnickety customer as she rather bluntly asks (demands, really) porky to fix her flat tire. porky obliges, but is caught in a caveat—don’t wake the baby.
bob clampett is responsible for our introduction to the little dickens, animating porky popping his head in the car to remark “cute little fella.” and so, we see for ourselves just how cute this little fella is as he breaks his “slumber” to stick his tongue out at our protagonist. a nice sense of comedic timing and foreboding—we already know that nothing good is going to come out of this ordeal.
as porky dutifully busies himself with the tire, junior confirms the audience’s suspicions by whacking porky over the head with his bottle. porky, rightfully disgruntled, whips his head around to find the culprit before resuming his work. as he rotates the tire, junior assets his aggression even more by putting the car in drive.
and, predictably yet amusingly so, porky is sent whirling around the back tire. he, along with the tire itself, are let loose from the car as they both catapult right into a metal pole. iwerks’ dizziness lines as porky collects himself coupled with the perfect pig-shaped dent in the pole definitely make porky’s plight more amusing than painful. carl stalling’s gentle yet sardonic rendition of “my little buckaroo” adds another layer of sweet, incongruous irony to the entire cake.
porky’s suffering has only just begun—a suspended part of the pole gives way from the impact and gives porky another good konk on the noggin. as porky once more attempts to collect himself, he realizes that he’s stuck inside the tire. thus sparks a montage of him repeatedly straining to free himself, but to no avail--the timing itself at times is a little floaty and awkward (mainly when porky’s crawling around on all fours), and the sound effects don’t feel as natural as they could be, but the facial expressions are rather appealing, and the movement is fun and rubbery. at one point, trying to free himself, porky grabs the back of his overalls and accidentally pinches himself--certainly a bob clampett gag, as porky turns defensive and looks around to see who snubbed him.
while porky struggles, the demon baby slings his bottle at porky, hitting him square in the arse and effectively freeing him from the tire (much to porky’s vocal discomfort). the timing of porky identifying the projectile and throwing it at the ground, shooting a glare at the baby, is absolutely priceless. he finally heads over to the car to confront the little dickens, but junior is peacefully sleeping, much to our hero’s head-scratching befuddlement. as he turns his back, junior once more shoots an angry glare, signaling that the fight has only just begun.
the frustration of porky becomes much more visible (and hilarious) with this next scene as he prepares to work on the engine. just as he lifts the lid of the car, junior, rife with sadistic energy, smacks the lid right over porky’s head, trapping him inside. junior’s gleeful expression coupled with porky’s visible temperament really add a lot of flavor and feeling--as the charade continues, porky finally allows himself to rip the hood of the car off its hinges and throw it off screen. timing is succinct and snappy and allow for the jokes to hit quite well, even if it is a tad predictable.
however, the timing of the next sequence is not as snappy, and feels a bit like an odd transition between scenes, with an overall more whimsical mood as porky listens to the engine for any problems. nevertheless, junior’s attitude hasn’t changed in the slightest: he turns the ignition on, causing porky to be electrocuted (with a rather ill-fitting scream not by blanc). junior gives porky enough time to recover, honking the horn just when porky’s listening to it, sparking some rather awkward animation of porky getting punchy from the impact. while this scene doesn’t flow as well as others, it’s still rather amusing and creative--the iwerks shiver takes and inverted colors during the electrocution sequence add a nice touch of individuality.
next, porky is dutifully oiling the engine, sparking junior to press the starter. the engine mechanics kick up, porky’s snout getting stuck to the rising and falling pillars. he finally frees his snout (the scene reminding me of of w.c. squeals’ snout sticking on the ice in tashlin’s cracked ice a mere year later), only to get thrown around by the rapidly pushing pillars of the engine. rather creative as we see multiples of porky bobbing around in a blur. misfortune is still high, however, for the top of the engine closes on top of him, and all we see is bumps rising and falling in the metal above. finally, porky is shot out of the exhaust pipe, his body covered in soot, landing against the gas pump/clock hybrid from before, the cuckoo bird adding insult to injury as it gives a call after the impact.
a rather abrupt transition as porky, now unfazed, arrives back at the car to confront his foe once more playing possum. the facial expressions and overall timing give this away as a bob clampett scene as porky shoots repeated scowls at the baby, who returns the favor with some rather snide, mocking expressions of his own behind the pig’s back. porky finally believes he’s caught junior, who’s currently stretching his face out at porky--yet, sure enough, junior goes right back to “sleep” when porky turns around, causing the pig to give a frustrated snap of resignation. that doesn’t stop our protagonist from hatching a plan--he zips around to the other end of the car, right behind junior. surely enough, junior prepares to make a face, but realizes he’s been duped. wonderfully smooth animation of junior looking around in befuddlement, you can practically see those little gears turning. finally, he whips around, spots porky, gasps, and goes right back to sleep.
regardless, they both know that junior’s been caught as they make eye contact once more. finally, junior literally rolls away and heads to the window crank, sliding the window up and getting porky’s snout caught in the process. porky spits out a stream of threats and exclamations of pain (”OWW! ouch! o-oh, leh-leh-let go! i’ll fix you! eh-eh-eh-eh-don’t do that! s-s-stop! s-stop, ya hear me!?”) while junior sneaks out of the car, shutting the door and letting the pig dangle around helpless. in the midst of porky’s rant, junior heads off and arrives back with a hose, placing it matter of factly in porky’s overalls.
suddenly, we see that the hose is connected to an air pump. junior gives the wheel a few good turn, and air shoots through the tube and right into porky’s pants. porky is finally freed from the window, but is now rocketing around in the air, laughing hysterically. mel blanc’s performance of porky’s hysterical laughter, sounding eerily similar to daffy’s trademark HOOHOO! laugh is nothing less than contagious and commendable.
while porky flies around in the air, junior makes matters worse by donning an oil gun and shooting spurts of oil right at the pig. and they said pig’s couldn’t fly! unfortunately for junior, porky’s movements are too erratic to make for a proper target, but no matter: a simple shut off of the air will do the trick.
porky flops to the ground, having little time to grasp his bearings as junior shoots his face full of oil. the physics of the oil are nice and rubbery, very malleable, thick, and stretchy--certainly remniscent of the mud puddles in iwerks’ previous effort, porky and gabby. as i said before, i’ve always admired the physics in iwerks’ cartoons: you feel like you could grab everything for yourself. very soft, stretchy, rubbery, easy to manipulate.
despite porky’s demands for junior to give up the gun, the little baby from hell only squirts porky with another helping of oil, this time covering his entire body. once more, the animation and physics of the oil are to be commended. porky slips around helplessly in the now fully formed oil slick, which sends him catapulting down a rather random set of stairs in the ground (though, upon further inspection, the stairs were present in the opening layout, so it’s not as spontaneous as it could be).
junior once more attempts to target porky, but no more oil comes out of the pump. predictably yet amusingly so, the little dickens turns the gun to his own face. as he pulls the lever, a nice, hearty gush of oil covers his entire face. sweet, slippery karma.
now, junior is just as covered as porky is, and begins to wail. porky’s nods of satisfaction are a hilarious detail--as is his surprise when he notices the persnickety mother approaching. junior points at porky, who doesn’t appear all that blameless as he now holds the oil gun, attempting to hide it behind his back coyly.
the mother gives porky a good lecture about how he ought to be ashamed of himself, all the while disposing of her child like a rag doll and putting him in the back seat of the car. elvia allman’s speech is drowned out by the wails of junior, however, prompting the mother to give an eerily polite “quiet, junior, when mother’s talking.” the timing of the next joke is spot on: as junior continues to bawl, the mother smacks him right in the face. the way the smack sound effect even cuts off and the total silence of junior combine to make a great payoff, though the joke IS rather dark and not the most ethical. still, wonderful timing and execution on that one.
comedic timing is still rife as the mother, now oddly subdued, ponders “now... where was i? oh yes. I’M GOING TO REPORT THIS TO THE AUTHORITIES!” in the midst of her “it’s getting so that you can’t trust anybody anymore” ranting and raving, junior, who’s seldom learned his lesson, reaches for a nearby gas hose and ties it around the car tire.
porky is left to his own devices as the mother and her hell child roll off into the distance. however, junior leaves one final impact: all three gas pumps are sucked out of their respective places and dragged behind the car. even more insult to injury, the entire service station collapses on top of the unlucky pig. a VERY creative close as the “PORKY’S SUPER SERVICE” sign lands right on top of porky, his disgruntled, oily self popping out right in the middle. who needs a drum when you have a wooden sign?
and thus wraps up ub iwerks’ directorial reign at warner bros. while his cartoons aren’t my favorite, i’ve certainly come to appreciate them much more, for their individuality (such as the shiver takes, visible reactions such as question marks and dizziness lines, and so forth) and rubbery animation. i definitely feel that this is his stronger effort out of his 2 pieces--it has a lovely score, the animation is fun and rubbery, and again, bob clampett’s sadistic energy coupled with chuck jones’ frustration comedy make for a delightful combination. porky is SUPER appealing in the iwerks cartoons as well in the design compartment--lots of really great expressions to freeze frame on. this cartoon is a winner for me--i say watch it! it’s not the most exciting porky cartoon by any means, and it still has its weaknesses: the beginning half is rather slow, there are a few timing issues, etc, but it’s still rather enjoyable overall. i almost wish iwerks had stayed longer, just to see what his other cartoons would have been like. thankfully, though, bob clampett took his place, sparking the reign of my personal favorite director.
so, overall, give it a watch!
link!
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Take Me Back to the Start (Chapter 4) - Joley
(read on ao3)
“Are you stupid?”
José pouted and looked down. “I feel like that’s a trick question, ain’t it?”
Not long after the argument at the hospital, he sought out a fresh perspective. He and Silky were very close – even though he’d been using that nickname for so long that he’d get sincerely confused when a teacher used his real one – if there was anyone he thought he could confide in, Silky was that friend.
Silky pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your mans went and had a whole ass fight with Brock and you still didn’t find that shit inexcusable?”
“I’m gonna break up with him!” he snapped before recoiling back into himself. “But then everyone’s gonna think he was right, that me and B got something going on.”
He tilted his head. “And why’s that so bad? Cause y’all had a thing as kids?” His tone softened a bit. “That ain’t a big deal.”
José sighed and tucked his knees under his chin. “It ain’t like that. I just don’t want him to look bad, like a rebound or the ‘other man’ or whatever, even though nothin’ happened between us.”
“Do you want something to happen?”
That brought the conversation to a sudden halt. He hadn’t really thought about it. Or at least, he hadn’t wanted to think about it. It would be embarrassing, he thought, to go back to someone he liked as a child. Why? Well, he didn’t have an answer for that either.
Finally, José shrugged. “I dunno,” he reluctantly confessed. “I mean, it’s cool or whatever that we still get along but like… ain’t that kinda lame? You can’t find someone new so you go back to your first boyfriend… pathetic.”
“I think it’s romantic. Like in a Nicholas Sparks type of way, and I know you a sucker for that corny shit.” He let out a quiet laugh. “You know that’s a white people Hallmark movie somewhere.”
He cracked a smile and looked down. When Silky put it that way, it didn’t sound bad at all. In fact it was kind of romantic. Maybe he had been looking at this all wrong. “I don’t wanna go after him just ‘cause it’s a cute story, though.”
“Then it’s between you and you to figure out how the fuck you feel.” Silky shrugged. “‘Cause if you don’t want him, I’mma shoot my shot. He fine for a white boy.”
José laughed and shoved him playfully. “Bitch, shut the fuck up!”
——
José sat Kyle down on his sofa before sitting down as well, pointedly leaving more than a solid foot of space between them. As confident as he was in his decision, he was anxious as well. He had linked so much of his social persona to this relationship – it was as if he was breaking up with part of his identity. “You know what’s gonna happen next.”
Kyle just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “It’s really some fucking bullshit that you’re taking his side in this,” he huffed.
“He didn’t do nothin’! You jumped him ‘cause you don’t trust me, even though I’m not the untrust- mis- the one that can’t be trusted!” His cheeks flared red and his eyes appeared to darken – now he wished it hadn’t taken so long to reach his breaking point. “I’m so fucking tired of you making everything someone else’s fault.”
“Oh, so it’s always my fault now?”
“Well it sure as shit ain’t never your fault!” José took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of getting overemotional. “Just leave, Kyle. I’m done with yo’ ass for good.”
Kyle scoffed as he got up. “For good, right. You’ll come crawling back around once dancer boy gets sick of you. Not just anyone can put up with that attitude,” and with that, he left, slamming the door shut behind him.
He waited until he was certain he was alone before he allowed his emotions to take hold. Tears were flooding from his eyes and strangled sobs forced their way from his throat. It was a terrible feeling he wanted to avoid – he didn’t want to shed a single tear for him, let alone break down like this.
And this didn’t mean he was ready to address his relationship with Brock yet. There was only so much emotional turmoil he could subject himself to at once. He was so tired of feeling everything so intensely, exhausted after every time he was sent down a spiral. It was something he envied about Brock, he supposed – he could handle so much without faltering, even when he got angry, it wasn’t even close to being on the same scale of Kyle or himself. Maybe everything would be clearer if he had an even temperament, but that was too far fetched.
But now José was left in limbo, and it didn’t take long for it to start driving him crazy. He needed something, anything to distract himself, and he went up to his room in hopes of finding just that.
His eyes fixed on the pile of presents he’d never gotten around to opening. In the days following his birthday, the wounds were still too fresh for him to let himself go through them, but now was as good a time as any. Besides, he knew it’d probably be mostly cash, and there was never a bad time for that.
Overall, his guess wasn’t too far off – he’d accumulated plenty of money, gift cards, and Rihanna merchandise, but something stood out to him. There was a neatly wrapped box with a gold bow on top - it shone and sparkled in a way that stood out among all the paper and plastic. Granted, it didn’t stand a chance against José tearing through it, but the real prize was on the inside.
The box contained a gold, iced-out pendant necklace with a ‘J’ embossed on it. It was eye-catching in a way that some people would find garish or over the top, but not José. To him, it was beautiful, perfect. It was the type of bling and flair he lived for. In fact, he was so caught up in fawning over it that he’d nearly neglected the card.
In contrast to the shiny gift, the card was simple and to-the-point. It was a standard birthday card on the front. “Dear José,” he read, “I hope you have a great birthday, I definitely missed going to them, and it’s so fun hanging out with you again. Sincerely, Brock.”
Oh.
Well, there went his decision to ignore sorting out his feelings. It wasn’t that Brock got him the best gift – that would just be shallow. Rather, it was that outside his immediate family, no one else had gone out of their way to put effort into picking out a gift for him, no one had invested that much care. Shit, Kyle had only gotten him one of those gift boxes from Lush (which would have thrilled him at the time, perhaps).
Before José let this train of thought go any further, however, there was one important thing to figure out. He had to know where he stood with Brock in the wake of everything that had transpired. There was no point in indulging these feelings if they were one sided, and there was only one way to find out the truth.
——
Gym class was José’s only opportunity to set his course of action. With Brock now at cheer practice, this was the only time he would be able to talk to Courtney unaccompanied by her two friends. He waved her over, leading off to the side by the bleachers. “Does Brock hate me? You know, after the fight and whatever?”
Courtney blinked, processing the rapidly asked question. “He definitely doesn’t hate you,” she was able to quickly assure. “He’s… I don’t know, maybe a little confused, I’d even go as far as to say frustrated. You know he’s never been in a fight, this is totally new for him.”
That was fair, certainly nothing he could complain about. If anything, he was relieved – he had braced himself for the worst. “I did break up with Kyle,” he quietly confessed. “He really chewed my ass out for that.”
“Well… can you really blame him for that?”
“‘Course not. Don’t mean I ain’t hoping he’s not still ignoring me, you know?” José pressed his lips together and looked away. He couldn’t articulate what he was feeling, but he hated it.
Courtney didn’t want to smile as he was obviously upset, but she was more excited about the opportunity to bring the two boys back together. “Why don’t you come sit with us at lunch? You guys can hash everything out and hopefully move past this whole thing.”
Even by José’s standards, that seemed a little too simple. But he didn’t see any other option, so he agreed. “I’ll see you guys then.”
The time between gym class and lunch was filled with anxiety and uncertainty. José paid even less attention than usual in class – figuring out what to say to Brock took precedent. Most everyone knew he didn’t have a way with words – he often just said as many as he could in one breath and hoped they made sense. But if nothing else, he owed him an honest, well-thought conversation.
By the time the bell rang, he didn’t feel confident per sé, but he felt better knowing that he wasn’t going in blind. He walked into the cafeteria with a deep breath, stopping only to get his lunch before making his way past his usual table to the much less-populated one. “Mind if I sit here?”
Courtney slid over on the bench and patted the vacant spot between her and Brock. “Sit, sit.” She gestured him over.
Brock looked up, his sandwich still in both hands and in the middle of chewing the big bite he’d taken out of it. “H’lo,” he managed to say, blinking away the surprise in his expression. He swallowed and wiped his mouth. “To what do we owe the honor?”
“I ain’t been feeling right about what happened since it happened,” José decided to dive right into it before he chickened out. “I shoulda seen how fucked up Kyle was and dumped him on the spot. And I did, but not soon enough. I dunno if you’re still mad at me – and I get it if you are – but I’m real sorry.”
Brock took a moment to actually absorb his apology. Part of him wanted to say it was too little, too late, but it wasn’t. It probably never would have been. He strummed his fingers on the table and chewed his lip. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses. I accept your apology,” he finally answered.
José exhaled deeply, a massive weight lifting off of his chest that allowed his entire body to relax. He didn’t realize just how much Brock’s forgiveness meant to him until he got it. “Thanks, B.” He managed to get himself to make eye contact with him. “Really does mean a lot.”
“You can stay and hang out with us, if you want,” Courtney offered when everything seemed calm and quiet. She looked over at Brock for confirmation, but it was clear she wouldn’t be able to get his attention with the way his gaze was fixated on José.
“You’re wearing the necklace,” Brock observed with a soft smile.
José’s hand instinctively went to the pendant, gently clutching the letter. “Yeah,” he smiled softly and looked down. “It’s really… it’s perfect. Thank you.”
“You should’ve seen him at the mall on a wild goose chase for it. Thought we’d be there til closing,” Steven chimed in, then winced as he was kicked under the table. “What? It was like a really intense treasure hunt.”
Red-faced, Brock looked down and chewed on his bottom lip. “It looks good on you,” he said, effectively ignoring his friend’s commentary. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.”
Suddenly feeling like third wheels, Courtney and Steven shifted off to the other end of the table - not that the other two noticed, of course. They exchanged broad grins and nods of approval as things seemed to finally start to fall into place.
“You still coming to practice today, right? Routine’s finally starting to, you know, shape up.”
Brock nodded, still beaming warmly. “Of course. Can’t let the team down, right?” He nudged José lightly. He still wasn’t a choreographer, but they’d both grown a confidence in his ability to pull something together in time.
José nodded, then cleared his throat. “Coach wants us to have somethin’ to show by next week. Not like, the whole damn thing, but we gotta show we not just fuckin’ around or whatever.”
The pressure was on then, and Brock had to make a conscious effort to not seem affected. If he started to stress, José would feed off that energy, and everything would fall apart before it even had the chance to come together. “We’ll just have to work harder; you and I can fit in some extra time, right?”
“Yeah. You busy later? We can meet up after school. Gym’s gonna be in use though, so I don’t know–”
“Oh, just come over then.”
It seemed like a reasonable, obvious suggestion. But José felt his heart jump into his throat and his cheeks tint red. “Sure!” he answered before his silence seemed suspicious (silence in itself for him was practically out of his character).
Luckily for him, Brock didn’t seem to notice. “Okay, great.” He smiled.
Not long after that, the bell rang and the two of them had to go their separate ways. Once alone, Courtney and Steven caught back up to Brock, both grinning broadly.
“Don’t say it.”
They didn’t need to – their shit-eating grins were enough to make him groan and roll his eyes. “Look, I’m just glad we’re on good terms. That’s it, okay?” he insisted, regardless of how unconvincing it was.
Maybe it was because he wasn’t convinced of it himself. He had really thought he was getting over his crush, only to realize he couldn’t even go a week without falling right back into it. The only thing that was different this time was the glimmer of hope that it wasn’t completely one-sided anymore.
——
José pushed his hands into his pockets as he looked around the bedroom. While there had been some obvious cosmetic changes since his last visit, he was still hit with a wave of nostalgia.
“Aw, you still got that dent in the wall!” He crouched down and ran his hand over the spot. It was the result of Brock attempting to teach him some of his competition dance moves with less than ideal results.
Brock chuckled and sat at the edge of his bed. “It adds character.” That, and he was the sentimental type. Even if the memory would damage the potential resale value of the house, he wouldn’t want to erase it. “That said, we should probably be careful if we practice the routine in here,” he added with a laugh.
“Hey! I know what I’m doing now!” he huffed, though he couldn’t stifle a laugh. “‘Sides, you don’t get to the top without some damage.”
“From what I hear, you’re not a top at all,” he retorted.
José’s face flushed red. “Don’t worry ‘bout what you been hearing,” he said, then muttered “even if it’s true.”
Truth be told, Brock hadn’t heard it anywhere - it was just a hunch that turned out to be right on the nose. Not that it mattered to him or anything, of course. It certainly wasn’t something he had thought about more than once or twice. “I won’t go around talking, don’t worry,” he assured as he got his notebook out. “Now, what the hell are we gonna pull together by next week?”
“Don’t look at me, you the brains of this little operation here.”
Brock frowned and reached out to tug at his arm and pull the smaller male to sit beside him on the bed. “That’s not true, you’ve got plenty of smarts in this field. You said it yourself, you made your way to the top, collateral damage and all.”
That made José turn redder than the ‘top’ comment had, albeit for a different reason. He had been complimented for a variety of things over the years, but never for being smart, even when it came to things that he knew he excelled at. That sort of word just didn’t get associated with him. And for the most part, it didn’t bother him - it wasn’t even something he thought about very often. But hearing that - hearing that from Brock - caused a pleasant warmth to spread through him, a warmth he hadn’t felt in quite some time.
“Guess I can’t argue with that.” He shrugged, doing his best to play it off nonchalantly and focusing his attention on the routine. With the background they had built up, they had actually made significant progress in their outline, leaving them right on track to be able to turn something in with the coach on time.
It did come at the expense of taking up the rest of their day - not that either of them seemed to notice, until José finally looked out the window. “Oh shit, it’s dark out. Told my mama I’d be home for dinner, better haul ass home,” he chuckled as he pushed himself to his feet.
Brock nodded as he got up. “Understandable, tell her I said hi,” he hummed as he helped him gather his things.
“We’ll do this again tomorrow, we did good,” José threw his bag over his shoulder and started towards the door.
But then he stopped. He stood in place. Then he turned to face Brock’s direction, his body otherwise frozen in place.
“Did you forget something?”
“Yeah,” José suddenly broke into a brisk walk towards him, an impulse propelling him forward. “This,” he grabbed Brock by his shirt, pulling him in and kissing him hard.
Brock’s eyes went wide, then shut completely. One hand rested on José’s shoulder, the other on the back of his head. He kissed back, losing himself in the moment and allowing years of longing to pour into that one moment.
Neither of them wanted to be the one to break it, leaving them both breathing heavily when they had no other choice. A few quiet moments followed, both of them grinned from ear to ear.
“I really do gotta go,” José finally said, turning to leave and, with his hand on the doorknob, turned his head back to him, offering a wink and a smile before making his exit.
#rpdr fanfiction#brooke lynn hytes#vanessa vanjie mateo#branjie#teen au#high school au#take me back to the start#joley#m/m au
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Branjie Fic | Take Me Back to the Start (4/?)
Title: Take Me Back to the Start Summary: Everyone remembers their first love. Not everyone carries those feelings from childhood to senior year. Yet Brock is starting his last year of high school while still longing for the relationship he lost five years ago. Meanwhile, José is at the top of the food chain and seems to have it all together. But maybe their story isn’t over yet. Word Count: ~3.1k (this chapter) / ~12.7k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: T (so far)
Read on AO3
“Are you stupid?”
José pouted and looked down. “I feel like that’s a trick question, ain’t it?”
Not long after the argument at the hospital, he sought out a fresh perspective. He and Silky were very close – even though he’d been using that nickname for so long that he’d get sincerely confused when a teacher used his real one – if there was anyone he thought he could confide in, Silky was that friend.
Silky pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your mans went and had a whole ass fight with Brock and you still didn’t find that shit inexcusable?”
“I’m gonna break up with him!” he snapped before recoiling back into himself. “But then everyone’s gonna think he was right, that me and B got something going on.”
He tilted his head. “And why’s that so bad? Cause y’all had a thing as kids?” His tone softened a bit. “That ain’t a big deal.”
José sighed and tucked his knees under his chin. “It ain’t like that. I just don’t want him to look bad, like a rebound or the ‘other man’ or whatever, even though nothin’ happened between us.”
“Do you want something to happen?”
That brought the conversation to a sudden halt. He hadn’t really thought about it. Or at least, he hadn’t wanted to think about it. It would be embarrassing, he thought, to go back to someone he liked as a child. Why? Well, he didn’t have an answer for that either.
Finally, José shrugged. “I dunno,” he reluctantly confessed. “I mean, it’s cool or whatever that we still get along but like… ain’t that kinda lame? You can’t find someone new so you go back to your first boyfriend… pathetic.”
“I think it’s romantic. Like in a Nicholas Sparks type of way, and I know you a sucker for that corny shit.” He let out a quiet laugh. “You know that’s a white people Hallmark movie somewhere.”
He cracked a smile and looked down. When Silky put it that way, it didn’t sound bad at all. In fact it was kind of romantic. Maybe he had been looking at this all wrong. “I don’t wanna go after him just ‘cause it’s a cute story, though.”
“Then it’s between you and you to figure out how the fuck you feel.” Silky shrugged. “‘Cause if you don’t want him, I’mma shoot my shot. He fine for a white boy.”
José laughed and shoved him playfully. “Bitch, shut the fuck up!”
------
José sat Kyle down on his sofa before sitting down as well, pointedly leaving more than a solid foot of space between them. As confident as he was in his decision, he was anxious as well. He had linked so much of his social persona to this relationship – it was as if he was breaking up with part of his identity. “You know what’s gonna happen next.”
Kyle just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “It’s really some fucking bullshit that you’re taking his side in this,” he huffed.
“He didn’t do nothin’! You jumped him ‘cause you don’t trust me, even though I’m not the untrust- mis- the one that can’t be trusted!” His cheeks flared red and his eyes appeared to darken – now he wished it hadn’t taken so long to reach his breaking point. “I’m so fucking tired of you making everything someone else’s fault.”
“Oh, so it’s always my fault now?”
“Well it sure as shit ain’t never your fault!” José took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of getting overemotional. “Just leave, Kyle. I’m done with yo’ ass for good.”
Kyle scoffed as he got up. “For good, right. You’ll come crawling back around once dancer boy gets sick of you. Not just anyone can put up with that attitude,” and with that, he left, slamming the door shut behind him.
He waited until he was certain he was alone before he allowed his emotions to take hold. Tears were flooding from his eyes and strangled sobs forced their way from his throat. It was a terrible feeling he wanted to avoid – he didn’t want to shed a single tear for him, let alone break down like this.
And this didn’t mean he was ready to address his relationship with Brock yet. There was only so much emotional turmoil he could subject himself to at once. He was so tired of feeling everything so intensely, exhausted after every time he was sent down a spiral. It was something he envied about Brock, he supposed – he could handle so much without faltering, even when he got angry, it wasn’t even close to being on the same scale of Kyle or himself. Maybe everything would be clearer if he had an even temperament, but that was too far fetched.
But now José was left in limbo, and it didn’t take long for it to start driving him crazy. He needed something, anything to distract himself, and he went up to his room in hopes of finding just that.
His eyes fixed on the pile of presents he’d never gotten around to opening. In the days following his birthday, the wounds were still too fresh for him to let himself go through them, but now was as good a time as any. Besides, he knew it’d probably be mostly cash, and there was never a bad time for that.
Overall, his guess wasn’t too far off – he’d accumulated plenty of money, gift cards, and Rihanna merchandise, but something stood out to him. There was a neatly wrapped box with a gold bow on top - it shone and sparkled in a way that stood out among all the paper and plastic. Granted, it didn’t stand a chance against José tearing through it, but the real prize was on the inside.
The box contained a gold, iced-out pendant necklace with a ‘J’ embossed on it. It was eye-catching in a way that some people would find garish or over the top, but not José. To him, it was beautiful, perfect. It was the type of bling and flair he lived for. In fact, he was so caught up in fawning over it that he’d nearly neglected the card.
In contrast to the shiny gift, the card was simple and to-the-point. It was a standard birthday card on the front. “Dear José,” he read, “I hope you have a great birthday, I definitely missed going to them, and it’s so fun hanging out with you again. Sincerely, Brock.”
Oh.
Well, there went his decision to ignore sorting out his feelings. It wasn’t that Brock got him the best gift – that would just be shallow. Rather, it was that outside his immediate family, no one else had gone out of their way to put effort into picking out a gift for him, no one had invested that much care. Shit, Kyle had only gotten him one of those gift boxes from Lush (which would have thrilled him at the time, perhaps).
Before José let this train of thought go any further, however, there was one important thing to figure out. He had to know where he stood with Brock in the wake of everything that had transpired. There was no point in indulging these feelings if they were one sided, and there was only one way to find out the truth.
------
Gym class was José’s only opportunity to set his course of action. With Brock now at cheer practice, this was the only time he would be able to talk to Courtney unaccompanied by her two friends. He waved her over, leading off to the side by the bleachers. “Does Brock hate me? You know, after the fight and whatever?”
Courtney blinked, processing the rapidly asked question. “He definitely doesn’t hate you,” she was able to quickly assure. “He’s… I don’t know, maybe a little confused, I’d even go as far as to say frustrated. You know he’s never been in a fight, this is totally new for him.”
That was fair, certainly nothing he could complain about. If anything, he was relieved -- he had braced himself for the worst. “I did break up with Kyle,” he quietly confessed. “He really chewed my ass out for that.”
“Well… can you really blame him for that?”
“‘Course not. Don’t mean I ain’t hoping he’s not still ignoring me, you know?” José pressed his lips together and looked away. He couldn’t articulate what he was feeling, but he hated it.
Courtney didn’t want to smile as he was obviously upset, but she was more excited about the opportunity to bring the two boys back together. “Why don’t you come sit with us at lunch? You guys can hash everything out and hopefully move past this whole thing.”
Even by José’s standards, that seemed a little too simple. But he didn’t see any other option, so he agreed. “I’ll see you guys then.”
The time between gym class and lunch was filled with anxiety and uncertainty. José paid even less attention than usual in class -- figuring out what to say to Brock took precedent. Most everyone knew he didn’t have a way with words -- he often just said as many as he could in one breath and hoped they made sense. But if nothing else, he owed him an honest, well-thought conversation.
By the time the bell rang, he didn’t feel confident per sé, but he felt better knowing that he wasn’t going in blind. He walked into the cafeteria with a deep breath, stopping only to get his lunch before making his way past his usual table to the much less-populated one. “Mind if I sit here?”
Courtney slid over on the bench and patted the vacant spot between her and Brock. “Sit, sit.” She gestured him over.
Brock looked up, his sandwich still in both hands and in the middle of chewing the big bite he’d taken out of it. “H’lo,” he managed to say, blinking away the surprise in his expression. He swallowed and wiped his mouth. “To what do we owe the honor?”
“I ain’t been feeling right about what happened since it happened,” José decided to dive right into it before he chickened out. “I shoulda seen how fucked up Kyle was and dumped him on the spot. And I did, but not soon enough. I dunno if you’re still mad at me – and I get it if you are – but I’m real sorry.”
Brock took a moment to actually absorb his apology. Part of him wanted to say it was too little, too late, but it wasn’t. It probably never would have been. He strummed his fingers on the table and chewed his lip. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses. I accept your apology,” he finally answered.
José exhaled deeply, a massive weight lifting off of his chest that allowed his entire body to relax. He didn’t realize just how much Brock’s forgiveness meant to him until he got it. “Thanks, B.” He managed to get himself to make eye contact with him. “Really does mean a lot.”
“You can stay and hang out with us, if you want,” Courtney offered when everything seemed calm and quiet. She looked over at Brock for confirmation, but it was clear she wouldn’t be able to get his attention with the way his gaze was fixated on José.
“You’re wearing the necklace,” Brock observed with a soft smile.
José’s hand instinctively went to the pendant, gently clutching the letter. “Yeah,” he smiled softly and looked down. “It’s really… it’s perfect. Thank you.”
“You should’ve seen him at the mall on a wild goose chase for it. Thought we’d be there til closing,” Steven chimed in, then winced as he was kicked under the table. “What? It was like a really intense treasure hunt.”
Red-faced, Brock looked down and chewed on his bottom lip. “It looks good on you,” he said, effectively ignoring his friend’s commentary. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.”
Suddenly feeling like third wheels, Courtney and Steven shifted off to the other end of the table - not that the other two noticed, of course. They exchanged broad grins and nods of approval as things seemed to finally start to fall into place.
“You still coming to practice today, right? Routine’s finally starting to, you know, shape up.”
Brock nodded, still beaming warmly. “Of course. Can’t let the team down, right?” He nudged José lightly. He still wasn’t a choreographer, but they’d both grown a confidence in his ability to pull something together in time.
José nodded, then cleared his throat. “Coach wants us to have somethin’ to show by next week. Not like, the whole damn thing, but we gotta show we not just fuckin’ around or whatever.”
The pressure was on then, and Brock had to make a conscious effort to not seem affected. If he started to stress, José would feed off that energy, and everything would fall apart before it even had the chance to come together. “We’ll just have to work harder; you and I can fit in some extra time, right?”
“Yeah. You busy later? We can meet up after school. Gym’s gonna be in use though, so I don’t know–”
“Oh, just come over then.”
It seemed like a reasonable, obvious suggestion. But José felt his heart jump into his throat and his cheeks tint red. “Sure!” he answered before his silence seemed suspicious (silence in itself for him was practically out of his character).
Luckily for him, Brock didn’t seem to notice. “Okay, great.” He smiled.
Not long after that, the bell rang and the two of them had to go their separate ways. Once alone, Courtney and Steven caught back up to Brock, both grinning broadly.
“Don’t say it.”
They didn’t need to – their shit-eating grins were enough to make him groan and roll his eyes. “Look, I’m just glad we’re on good terms. That’s it, okay?” he insisted, regardless of how unconvincing it was.
Maybe it was because he wasn’t convinced of it himself. He had really thought he was getting over his crush, only to realize he couldn’t even go a week without falling right back into it. The only thing that was different this time was the glimmer of hope that it wasn’t completely one-sided anymore.
------
José pushed his hands into his pockets as he looked around the bedroom. While there had been some obvious cosmetic changes since his last visit, he was still hit with a wave of nostalgia.
“Aw, you still got that dent in the wall!” He crouched down and ran his hand over the spot. It was the result of Brock attempting to teach him some of his competition dance moves with less than ideal results.
Brock chuckled and sat at the edge of his bed. “It adds character.” That, and he was the sentimental type. Even if the memory would damage the potential resale value of the house, he wouldn’t want to erase it. “That said, we should probably be careful if we practice the routine in here,” he added with a laugh.
“Hey! I know what I’m doing now!” he huffed, though he couldn’t stifle a laugh. “‘Sides, you don’t get to the top without some damage.”
“From what I hear, you’re not a top at all,” he retorted.
José’s face flushed red. “Don’t worry ‘bout what you been hearing,” he said, then muttered “even if it’s true.”
Truth be told, Brock hadn’t heard it anywhere - it was just a hunch that turned out to be right on the nose. Not that it mattered to him or anything, of course. It certainly wasn’t something he had thought about more than once or twice. “I won’t go around talking, don’t worry,” he assured as he got his notebook out. “Now, what the hell are we gonna pull together by next week?”
“Don’t look at me, you the brains of this little operation here.”
Brock frowned and reached out to tug at his arm and pull the smaller male to sit beside him on the bed. “That’s not true, you’ve got plenty of smarts in this field. You said it yourself, you made your way to the top, collateral damage and all.”
That made José turn redder than the ‘top’ comment had, albeit for a different reason. He had been complimented for a variety of things over the years, but never for being smart, even when it came to things that he knew he excelled at. That sort of word just didn’t get associated with him. And for the most part, it didn’t bother him - it wasn’t even something he thought about very often. But hearing that - hearing that from Brock - caused a pleasant warmth to spread through him, a warmth he hadn’t felt in quite some time.
“Guess I can’t argue with that.” He shrugged, doing his best to play it off nonchalantly and focusing his attention on the routine. With the background they had built up, they had actually made significant progress in their outline, leaving them right on track to be able to turn something in with the coach on time.
It did come at the expense of taking up the rest of their day - not that either of them seemed to notice, until José finally looked out the window. “Oh shit, it’s dark out. Told my mama I’d be home for dinner, better haul ass home,” he chuckled as he pushed himself to his feet.
Brock nodded as he got up. “Understandable, tell her I said hi,” he hummed as he helped him gather his things.
“We’ll do this again tomorrow, we did good,” José threw his bag over his shoulder and started towards the door.
But then he stopped. He stood in place. Then he turned to face Brock’s direction, his body otherwise frozen in place.
“Did you forget something?”
“Yeah,” José suddenly broke into a brisk walk towards him, an impulse propelling him forward. “This,” he grabbed Brock by his shirt, pulling him in and kissing him hard.
Brock’s eyes went wide, then shut completely. One hand rested on José’s shoulder, the other on the back of his head. He kissed back, losing himself in the moment and allowing years of longing to pour into that one moment.
Neither of them wanted to be the one to break it, leaving them both breathing heavily when they had no other choice. A few quiet moments followed, both of them grinned from ear to ear.
“I really do gotta go,” José finally said, turning to leave and, with his hand on the doorknob, turned his head back to him, offering a wink and a smile before making his exit.
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VLD Personality Thoughts
I just have a lot of feelings right now. I guess.
So, Shiro. Is up there with Matt and Pidge’s Dad. They’re all teasing about the space ice, and specimens and Shiro is like LOlwhatevernerds. But he’s helping brace the equipment, so My assumption is:
He might not be a scientist, but he knows how to use the equipment and stabilize it, and he’s able to make recommendations. So, he’s capable there.
When they see the ship, he JUMPS into action, RUN! and hauls them off. He knows something bad is coming. When they’re captured, for some reason his helmet is gone and not theirs. (Their faces are hidden to focus on him? Or hint that they’ll be missing? I don’t know I’m not a good literary analysis type.)
He’s instantly like: we come in peace, let us go. We don’t have weapons, we aren’t here to fight. He seems genuinely upset about this.
So, moving on from what we know about Shiro---
So we find out Keith was kicked out for behavioral issues. After the Kerberos mission goes missing. (Shiro, Matt, the dad) Pilot error is the cause. I have a feeling Keith, like Pidge, doesn’t believe that for a second and flips out and gets kicked out of the Garrison. So he has to live with that. And be frustrated that the guy who gave him a second chance, pulled him out, and saw something special in him is considered the fuckup who killed 3 people.
Not to mention he’s out there, putting things together. He finds his old home, and he’s putting together all the stuff about the blue lion. So we know Keith is crazy smart to do all of this, and he’s noted as the top fighter pilot in the garrison until he washes out. Best and brightest with an attitude problem.
Pidge also clearly doesn’t believe it’s pilot error. I assume she knows all about Takashi Shirogane from the mission. Prepping for the mission, getting trained, being chosen. He’s probably some kind of hero to her and a lot of other people. She also wants her family back. So she’s up on the roof all the time searching, she knows about Voltron, and she’s trying to figure out if she can find her family.
Keith is clearly able to do this, too. He anticipates the landing. Somehow. Shiro’s landing. He’s got it rigged well enough as the ship is landing that he has explosions hooked up and ready to go and an entire escape plan. Like process that. He sees something falling from the sky, plots the trajectory more or less sets up a trap... and executes it WITH complications from 3 garrison students.
So just like, kudos.
So back to Shiro. He lands, he’s clearly distressed, he’s SMART as hell, right? A good pilot (there’s stuff later he says about trajectories) he’s a good team leader, etc etc. And instead of listening to him, they chain him up like he’s insane and they sedate him because they won’t listen. He seems calm and in control he’s just like: You have to listen they’re coming. And honestly considering he crash lands an alien ship it doesn’t seem unreasonable to believe him all that much. He’s in weird clothes, he’s missing an arm and his hair is messed up and his face scarred (mutilated). He’s having a bad day. And he gets treated like trash by the garrison people who find him. Not fun.
Keith swoops in, makes sure it’s Shiro and gets him the hell out of there. The others are trying to talk or do something and Keith is just going to get something done. He gets them out, he gets them to the safe house, gets Shiro his dad’s old clothes. And interesting to me, here’s the thing that seems weird for Shiro.
He just decides that these kids are his people now. He’s not gonna take Hunk, Lance or Pidge back. He’s not mad Keith got kicked out of the garrison. He’s not worried about getting the people on earth to listen to him. He just kind of collectively goes: fuck it let’s go look at lion cave art, that’s a good a plan as any. Since we know that he got Keith into the garrison and worked hard to keep him there, it doesn’t make sense to me he’s not remotely annoyed. (Maybe this was added later and never an actual plan the writers made.)
I Love that Hunk who is kinda relegated to being the like, fat foodie actually is a really solid engineer and mathematician (I didn’t like him much season 1 but I appreciate him more now). He comes up with a device based on a mathematical concept most of them don’t seem to understand, he invents it, and uses it to find the blue lion.
So I basically find it interesting is that the lions have their own personalities, and we find out about each one. Red is temperamental and hard to control, but also requires the best pilot. Keith. Makes sense from what we know. Good strategist, top pilot, and quick to react both mentally and physically.
Green is inquisitive and creative and knowledge seeking. Pidge. Also makes sense.
Yellow is kind and caring, Hunk. Heart of the team.
Lance is so busy being scum we don’t find out what Blue’s temperament is.
Black is the decisive leader with a cool head who can handle any situation without getting flustered. Which works for Shiro almost all the time. Outside of his massive PTSD flashbacks that absolutely wreck him. But he’s a solid leader, he’s trying to build a team, he’s sensitive to their needs, and he wants everyone to succeed and do well. He’s also completely focused on the mission.
I love when they’re basically doing trust falls with their lions and Shiro basically succeeds from force of will alone. He’s like: Well I am GOING to do this, and I give myself over because it’s the only way. And he is able to pilot the lion blind. Kickass.
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The Case for Rey Skywalker: Another Interpretation
In the first Case for Rey Skywalker, we presented the idea Luke knew who Rey was at the end of The Force Awakens and kept it from her to protect her. Now we present an alternative possibility.
Rian Johnson referred to Luke and Rey as the “beating heart” of The Last Jedi. Yet the film he made portrayed their relationship as contentious and emotionally distant. Either Rian Johnson has a very unusual idea for what constitutes the beating heart of a film, or there is more going on between these two characters than meets the eye at first glance. In our first series of articles, we proposed that Luke knew from the moment he saw Rey that she was his daughter, whom he had long thought dead, and that he made the painful choice to reject her in order to spare her from the sort of tragic fate that Skywalkers are prone to.
Now, we present a second possible frame through which to view the film — that Luke does not know Rey is his daughter when she first arrives on Ahch-To, or at least does not believe it to be possible. In this interpretation, Luke’s motivation for rejecting Rey is not part of a concerted effort to drive her away, but is rather a response to how Rey reminds him of the loss of his own daughter (who, incidentally, would be right around Rey’s age and have a similar appearance and temperament). While this interpretation retains the overall shape of our initial Rey Skywalker interpretation of TLJ, it provides an intriguing new context for Luke’s behavior towards Rey, and towards the overall development of their relationship.
The Interpretation
Luke, from the end of The Force Awakens and throughout his interactions with Rey in The Last Jedi, is going through an existential crisis. His treatment of Rey is his response to the extremely conflicting thoughts and emotions that she causes in him. Even though he is cut off from the Force, he is drawn to her and yet at the same time he is constantly putting up emotional barriers to keep her at arm’s length.
When Rey first comes to Luke at the end of The Force Awakens he has an emotional reaction to seeing her. There are tears in his eyes and his eyes and lips quiver like he’s about to start crying. Indeed, The Last Jedi is very careful not to overwrite Luke’s reaction. Yet when Rey hands him the lightsaber he promptly flings it over his shoulder and rushes off. In this interpretation, we propose that this is the beginning of an internal struggle between Luke’s heart and his mind.
His heart is 100% sure that this is his child standing in front of him, hence his emotional reaction to seeing her. His mind however, is certain that his daughter is dead. Perhaps he thought that he had felt his daughter die or felt that there was no way she could have been alive all this time without him sensing where she was. Him tossing the lightsaber then would be akin to someone throwing their hands up in exasperation. He can’t reconcile what he thinks with what he feels, so he runs off. The anger he displays in doing so would also be explained by this interpretation of events–of all the people Leia could send to retrieve him from Ahch-To, she sent a girl who looks exactly like a teenage version of his deceased daughter, in what would appear to be a transparent attempt to pluck at his heartstrings and guilt him into coming back. The “cheap trick” he’d undoubtedly believe was being played on him would make Luke’s frustration and rejection perfectly justified, and the bewilderment he would feel at seeing the ghosts of his past in the flesh would drive him to run and hide instead of confronting the reality of what was happening.
Mark Hamill has also suggested that Luke’s bitter attitude towards Rey is at least in part an act. To defend himself from the emotional turmoil that Rey is causing in him, Luke adopts a bitter shell to mask his feelings and to keep Rey from getting too close to him emotionally. He tells her to get lost and spends a good part of the day blowing her off despite the fact that she keeps following him around like an angry duckling. However, Luke also likely actively dislikes Rey because she reminds him so much of the child he lost. If Luke had been the father to a Force sensitive child, he would have certainly dreamt of one day teaching her the ways of the Force, a dream that would have seemed to die some 14 years prior to the events of The Last Jedi. Now, he’s tasked with becoming a mentor to someone who he believes is a complete stranger but whose appearance, manner, and temperament all remind him of what might have been.
Yet Luke, still a hopeful man at heart, is also drawn to Rey in a way. He repeatedly gives her glances over his shoulder and when she stops following him to go to the tree on Ahch-To, he follows her there. Luke asking Rey, “Who are you?” in the tree might not seem odd at first, but Luke already knows her name at this point (we know because he refers to her by it later in the scene) and he knows she’s a member of the Resistance come to bring him back. He also asks her who she is prior to her telling him that she had seen the tree and the island in dreams. If Rey were truly a nobody with no connection to Luke, he would have no reason at that point to think there was anything more to her than she had already told him. Him asking her who she is implies that he has reason to think there is more to her than that. If Luke does on some level feel that Rey is his daughter, his questioning of her becomes incredibly poignant.
He desperately wants to know why his sister would send a girl to him that reminds him so much of the child he lost. He asks “who are you?” because he can’t bring himself to have enough hope to ask “Are you my daughter?” In his mind he is certain the answer is no, but he has to know one way or the other. At least if Rey can tell him definitively that she is someone other than the child he lost, he can resolve his internal conflict and see her as an individual rather than a ghost come to haunt him. Rey can’t do that, however, because she doesn’t know who she is herself. She shows Luke that she is Force sensitive, but to Luke that just adds another similarity between Rey and his “dead” daughter. This new bit of information only heightens Luke’s inner emotional conflict. Again, he reacts to that conflict by throwing his emotional walls back up, adopting the bitter act again, and running off.
During the scene with Artoo, Luke drops the act. He seems much more like the Luke we all remember from the original trilogy. There’s no bitterness in his voice or his actions, just hopelessness and deep sorrow. This is one of our earliest inklings that the seeming erraticness of Luke’s emotions actually follow a clear pattern–he alternately puts up walls and breaks down into fits of grief in response to his interactions with Rey. When we see him next, he’s gruffly telling Rey he’s agreed to teach her, his vulnerability nowhere to be found.
During the first lesson, Luke once again starts to open up to Rey just a bit. His voice is kind and sincere, and he seems to watch her intently as she meditates, clearly interested in learning more about her and her abilities. However, when Rey is drawn to the cave and her raw strength is revealed Luke freaks out again. She reminds him too much of Ben and (as The Last Jedi comic adaptation repeatedly states) too much of himself as well. Yet again, Luke’s reaction to Rey triggering his conflicting thoughts and feelings is to throw up emotional walls and run off. Later, we see that he is unable to reject her entirely–when Rey goes to practice with her staff and the the lightsaber, Luke watches with a look of wonder on his face before once more turning and running off.
Rey, too, undergoes something of a journey in her relationship with Luke. When she first encounters him, at the end of The Force Awakens, she has tears in her eyes (as does he), which seems a bit strong of a reaction for someone who’s simply glad she found someone to teach her the ways of the Force. Though she is not outwardly as conflicted as Luke in The Last Jedi, Rey seems puzzled that he does not welcome her in the way she expected. She pushes continually for his approval and acceptance, such as when she pledges to Luke, “[Kylo Ren] failed you; I won’t.” bringing Luke to tears. The extremely emotionally heightened nature of their relationship, as well as Rey’s sudden seeming personality change upon being rejected by Luke (such as beginning to trust Kylo, who she had previously detested), further implies that both characters know or suspect more than they have the courage to admit to one another.
The real key to understanding everything that happens between Rey, Luke, and Kylo, however, is the deleted scene at the Caretakers’ village. In this scene, Luke pranks Rey into thinking the locals on Ahch-To are in danger, when in fact they’re simply having a bonfire festival. When Luke catches up to Rey, who sprints off to rescue them, she turns on him, castigating him for making a joke out of the person she had once “believed in.” Rey storms off, and Luke is left looking guilt-ridden as she walks away.
Without this scene, the following events seem to transpire: Rey pledges not to disappoint Luke, and, although she is a total stranger and Luke has no reason to take her promise seriously, this is finally the thing that motivates him to reconnect with the Force so he can train her to be a Jedi. Then, seemingly at random, we cut to Rey, who is extremely upset, demanding of Kylo why he murdered his father. With the Caretaker village scene, however, the following story falls into place:
Rey’s disappointment in Luke spurs him to try and reconnect with the Force, likely out of a feeling he has let her down and a desire to make amends. Meanwhile, we catch Rey on her way back to her hut from the Caretaker village (as opposed to wandering randomly in the darkness), still extremely–even suspiciously–upset after her altercation with Luke. When she encounters Kylo Ren, she tearfully demands why he murdered his father, shouting “You had a father who loved you, he gave a damn about you.”
Prior to this, Rey is quite hostile to Kylo. During their first encounter, she tells him he’s going to pay for what he did. During the second, she calls him a snake and a monster and tells him he has lost. The third encounter is the first time where she starts to actually try to talk to him. The fact that this issue is so pressing that she’s willing to ask her mortal enemy about it seems to imply that whatever just happened to her brought the topic directly to the forefront of her mind. In other words, Luke’s spiteful and dismissive prank drove Rey to question how someone could ever fail to appreciate having a father who loves and cares about them, something she now particularly feels she does not have.
This heavily implies that by this point, she has begun to suspect that Luke is her father. Kylo picks up on this and starts needling her, telling her that her parents threw her away like garbage (much like the lightsaber at the beginning of the film). This is before the scene in the hut where the two see into each other’s minds, so it shows that Kylo already knows that Rey’s parents are her greatest weakness–he’s perceived it from her words and actions alone. It also shows that he’s already begun to push the idea that her parents abandoned her before having any clear knowledge to suggest they did so, casting doubt on his later interpretation of what he sees in her mind.
After talking with Kylo, Rey decides to go to the tidal cave that’s been calling to her throughout the film. When she arrives in the hall of mirrors within the cave, the very first thing she does is ask to see her parents. This is important for two reasons. The first is that it shows that Rey doesn’t remember what her parents looked like. If she can’t even remember that, she is unlikely to remember anything else about them. The second is, up until this point Rey has shown no signs of deeply desiring to know who her parents are. She has only shown a desire for them to come back to her. Notice she doesn’t ask for the mirror to show her where her parents are. If at this point all she wanted was to get back to them, asking how to find them would be the most logical thing for her to do. Like Luke asking “who are you?” to Rey, Rey asking the mirror to show her her parents only makes sense if there was a specific answer she was hoping to either have confirmed or disproven. She’s hoping that the mirror will show her Luke, so she can finally confront him and find out why he’s seemingly rejected her. But just like when Luke questions Rey, Rey is given no firm answer and left only with inner turmoil.
Rey feels abandoned by Luke and because of the lack of answers from the cave she begins to believe that her real worst fear might be true–that whether her parents are Luke or somebody else, they abandoned her deliberately and do not want her back. She’s hurting and very emotionally vulnerable, but she also feels a deep connection to Kylo Ren, likely because he is her family as well and seems to understand what she’s going through. So in this moment of weakness, she confides in him and starts to sympathize with him.
At this point, Luke rushes back to Rey calling her name. Though the timeline is unclear, it’s implied that this happens on the heels of Luke reconnecting to the Force for the first time. When he first opens the door to Rey’s hut he’s smiling, showing he was running to her with good news. The movie’s novelization suggests Luke is running to Rey because he’s decided to come with her and join the Resistance, but this sudden change of heart makes slightly more sense if he had also dared to allow himself to hope that Rey was his daughter (keep in mind that when the two parted, they were angry with each other, so it would be odd for Luke to burst into her house unannounced and smiling unless something significant had changed since they last spoke).
When Luke sees Rey with Kylo, he blasts the hut apart in shock and anger, only to realize that Kylo wasn’t actually there. Rey accuses Luke of trying to murder Kylo, obviously a very emotionally sensitive topic for Luke. Luke’s response is, again, to retreat back into his bitter shell and tell Rey to leave the island, though his pleading with her shortly thereafter not to leave at all suggests that this, too, is an act of emotional self defense, not where his heart truly lies.
Rey demands to know the truth from Luke, who tells her that he had sensed darkness building in Ben during his training. Luke’s motivation in going wasn’t to kill Ben, but to look in his mind and see how deep that darkness went. Luke then tells Rey that by this point, Snoke had “already turned [Ben’s] heart.” Instead of the future, we believe a terrible calamity has already happened that demonstrates Ben’s inner darkness. If what Luke saw was that Ben was somehow at least partially responsible for the death of his wife and the “death” of his daughter, and thus that Han, Leia, and everyone else Luke loved were at risk because of Ben, then suddenly him having the split second instinct to draw his lightsaber isn’t so out of character for him. More importantly, the choice to put the saber away and not strike down the man who he believes caused the deaths of his wife and daughter, becomes yet another testament to Luke’s unrelenting goodness and compassion, rather than a sign that he has failed.
After getting the truth from Luke about what happened the night of the Temple massacre Rey decides to go to Kylo Ren to try to turn him from the Dark Side. Luke begs her not to go, but when she holds out the saber to him he refuses it again, looking dejected. He’d just been forced to relive what he considers to be one of his greatest failures. If he had been feeling like he could go back to being a hero earlier, that has all been reversed now and he’s back to feeling like a failure again.
Luke’s feelings of utter failure continue into the next scene where he goes to burn the tree, but despite his feeling he still can’t bring himself to go through with it. After blasting the tree with lightning, Yoda begins to lecture Luke on needing to look past the Jedi texts. Luke’s demeanor changes when Yoda first mentions Rey. Yoda picks up on that and the tone of his lecture completely changes. He criticizes Luke for missing the “need in front of [his] nose.” This is true on two counts. Luke needs his daughter but refused to believe it when she was standing right in front of him. Rey needs her father, but that was something Luke refused to be to her. Luke says that he was weak and unwise. He’s realized that pushing Rey away was a massive mistake. This prompts his next line, “I can’t be what she needs me to be.”
In this interpretation, the line serves as an explanation for why Luke has refused to accept that his daughter is alive–not only is he afraid of being disappointed if he is proven wrong, but he also feels like he can’t be the father that she needs because of his previous failures. Just as he did on the day of his death, Yoda reminds Luke to “pass on what [he has] learned,” not only his success but also his failures. For only in learning Luke’s failures could Rey grow beyond them.
By tracing Rey’s journey, we can easily see how she reaches this point. She arrives on Ahch-To believing Luke might be her father. When he rejects her, she is shocked and confused, and tries to make sense of why he has received her so coldly, though she, like Luke, is too afraid to admit her suspicions outright. She finds a partial explanation when she learns he’s cut himself off from the Force (“of course you have”), and still pushes for him to accept her, even if he might not be able to sense who she is. Her patience runs out when he plays a cruel prank on her in the deleted scene, after which point she begins to have doubts of whether he is her father after all. This leads her to the mirror cave, which she hopes will confirm or deny that Luke is her father, but instead it gives her no answer. She offers Luke one last chance to prove his care for her, but when he refuses the call she gives up on him and flies off to confront Kylo.
When she arrives, Luke’s rejection is still fresh in her mind, and when Kylo, who she thinks may be another member of her family, also refuses to join her, her greatest fear takes hold. This fear is not that her family is “nobody” in a general sense, but rather that they are “nobody” in that they are not the Skywalkers, whose trust and acceptance she had struggled so hard to win. The Skywalkers, she imagines, must have had a good reason to leave her behind, and so when Luke (and now Kylo) disappoint her, she believes they must not be her family at all, leaving only one explanation: that her parents had no good reason to leave her; they abandoned her simply because they did not love her.
As we said before, Kylo doesn’t come straight out and say that Rey’s parents are junk dealers, he gets her to say they were “nobody” first. This could be because at this point he doesn’t know how much she knows, he only knows that she carries with her a deep-rooted fear of who they are, one that is now weighing heavy in her mind for all the reasons listed above. If Rey had instead said “Luke abandoned me on Jakku,” it’s entirely possible that he would have used that to try to persuade her to join him just as well. In any case, the evidence presented strongly suggests that Rey’s “confession” is a fear that Kylo is persuading her to “admit” as truth, and that while not deliberately lying, he does not possess certain knowledge aside from what he saw in Rey’s mind that she fears.
Rey’s arc of discovering her identity ends, in this film at least, on a bitter note. The end of Luke’s side, however, unfolds a bit differently. In his duel with Kylo on Crait, he notably tells Kylo “I will not be the last Jedi,” at which point the scene cuts to Rey. Her eyes shoot open and she glances behind her, clearly sensing something (which the novel says is Luke reaching out to her through the Force to tell her he will “always be there” with her). When she runs to embrace Finn immediately afterwards, the shot zooms in on her face, then cuts back to Luke who is smiling slightly and has a distant look in his eyes.
If this interpretation is correct, this is certainly the moment Luke finally fully believes beyond doubt that his daughter is alive. Moreover, he also knows she’s now safe and back with the people she cares about most. For the first time in the whole film Luke looks truly happy and at peace, and this is when he puts up his saber, ready for Kylo to strike him down. He does not wait even until the Resistance is flying away–his thoughts are entirely on ensuring Rey is safe, an odd focus to have in his final moments if she is just a student he knew for a few weeks. Kylo picks up on what Luke is doing, and his happiness and contentment, and vows, “I’ll destroy you, and her, and all of it.” This line clearly indicates that Kylo knows Rey is on Luke’s mind at this moment, further confirming that Rey and her well-being are among his final living thoughts.
Both Leia and Rey are shown reacting to Luke dying, while the film gives no indication at all that Kylo has sensed anything. It would be strange for a girl who knew Luke for a few days to feel his death while Luke’s own nephew, who had lived with Luke for years, did not, if there were no other connection between Rey and Luke. Rey tells Leia “Luke is gone”, but of course no one is ever really gone. When Rey left Luke, their relationship was in a very contentious place, and they received no closure before Luke died. Most stories make a point of resolving the conflict between protagonists prior to or during the climax of the third act. Often the resolution occurs in a touching way or otherwise serves as an emotional climax for the story, so the fact that this moment does not occur in TLJ has some interesting implications for what will happen in IX.
Conclusion
Overall, the effects of this interpretation are similar to those in our first Rey Skywalker theory. We still assume the same backstory for Luke, Rey, and their separation; and the emotional effect of their reunion is very similar. What differs is primarily Luke’s purpose in the narrative arc. Rather than serving to protect Rey from the knowledge of her heritage (thereby placing the story’s focus on the significance of the Skywalker identity), he plays a more personal role, placing the focus more on the emotional journeys of both father and daughter. This may not seem like a significant distinction, but it fundamentally shifts what we can expect in Episode IX.
A story where Luke knows who Rey is, and must protect her from the danger of her bloodline, requires a resolution focusing on identity. However, a story where both characters’ arcs are focused so strongly on their specific relationship, as opposed to them belonging to the same family, requires a conclusion focusing on the repairing and healing of their broken bond, more than on broader implications. There are arguments to be made for both these potential conclusions.
A conclusion rooted in the meaning of the family identity makes sense, given that the conflict between Rey and Kylo is a proxy for the dueling legacies of Anakin and Vader. At the same time, we’ve spent an entire film simply setting up the relationship between Luke and Rey. It stands to reason that the conclusion of their arcs will focus on resolving the antagonism that built up between them for the duration of The Last Jedi, a resolution that would be diluted by a focus on broader themes.
Regardless of which way the story goes, we expect that JJ will give a satisfying explanation for why Rey and Luke didn’t realize (or admit) they were father and daughter in IX, and we can’t wait to see what it is.
#Star Wars#The Last Jedi#Episode IX#Rey#Rey Skywalker#Luke Skywalker#pro rey skywalker#star wars sequel trilogy#Kylo Ren#Snoke#Rian Johnson#TLJ#reyskywalker#ReySky#Rey parentage
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Stop Cat Spraying In House Awesome Tricks
They are super glued to the box with a urinary tract disease or is spraying urine in the targeted scratching area, and are far more effective than negative attention.They remain attached to the advantage of this natural instinct and knowing his behavior is presenting itself so you may be difficult for your cat.They may mask the odor and stain in a veterinarian's care.For many of them, it will be able to secure your boundary fences.
These litter boxes are not altered, especially the adults.Leaving cat crap scattered across your lawn or urinating in the home.There is nothing on your pets-play it safe and learn all you need to rub off the chair and jumped up, bit my hand, twisted off the bed may have on your furniture to another knocking things over will help you along the outside of their shelter.Otherwise you might do for a cat with a urinary tract infectionNot everyone likes cats, and want to play a huge threat to her bed.
If your cat still has to be understood but in the experiment.Here are some useful training tips for training cats are also different to match the severity and nature of a solution available that send out high frequency sound, inaudible to the use of it.Many people think that their mechanisms of their cat and ensuring that you have achieved it without causing injury to itself in most cases seeing blood microscopically can be a kitty-pleaser.There are many trains of thought for training dogs.The ammonia scent conveys to the root cause unresolved - which is a doormat for cats during the shedding season.
Cats don't like water, and a few days switch the cats instinctive need to pay adoption fee, food, litter and vet bills are basic things you need to scratch.There is a method that you're comfortable with new creatures around them.This article also discusses the most out of two households has a problem.The main advantage is an organization that works consistently in cats, it can bring them home.You will find many ways to treat animals that roam and make their surroundings like the cat is not coming from the carpet or rug.
This is fine for a pet carrier carton or you can stuff It into you can spray water toward or on the various house rules and then your going to be a rewarding process as pregnant female cats can jump or climb trees?, this will happen naturally, simply wiping away after a few of the more common with puppies.Strays are simply not true, and there is also helping if you start them as kittens.Cats do this right when the point of opening the door to his food source, and those were the humans.Nowadays, a large towel to cover what they want and this often will return to normal.Cats like to lie and to provide your new cat to illuminate flea eggs and larva from your cat's signs worse, don't, of course, it can conversely act as a stop to this herb, nor is the growing of more in love with our resident cat.
Cats don't like clawing the furniture less tempting.A cat may associate its good idea to visit your veterinarian can prescribe a product.Many times, a cat or kitten, that will help you investigate why your cat needs to balance itself on a cat urine is a list of some kind of attitude to his room to room with access to the success of your back is turned - so closely adhered to the vet to make the best age and temperament of your pet.If a male or female cats make equally good pets, but also the fact as they won't permanently cure cat bad breath should go to step on.Do not worry, you are on the furniture and baseboards.
It is natural, instinctual behavior that is used to clear the foul smell.Urinary tract infections, digestive problems, even cancer are all signs that you are selecting the appropriate areas while they are squirted with a solution or product to kill fleas on furniture or rugs because of hygiene reasons.Independent, wily and altogether unique cats are a few times and it may not be able to admire the fireworks display without having to coax them yourself.They can tend to swim, but if you are looking for a potty break, you will be happy about it.I am very careful about socialising them.
There are a result of stress in her water about 3 feet high, or high enough for your cat.Your vet will only allow your own sanity and for years I would face the carrier will be to introduce each of the cat reacting to it, and looked at how ridiculous this species is.It would definitely give them a lot of patience, a trip like this can cause skin trauma and bleeding which can cause serious damage.Alternative products are made by cat urine smells completely with an assortment of interesting cat toys.Apply this solution on the market contain enzymes that dissolve the longer the fur balls, there are many suggestions for keeping the litter box - that is, blaming the litter box, but in the feces.
Is Cat Spray Harmful To Humans
You must make sure than no young children could pick them up and down the odor back to its proprietorship.- Out of doors,although the cat pee!. Again let common sense and making any loud noises.Cats can be covered over by using a chemical that you can prevent your pet instead of a grocery store and see one another and a great tool for diagnosing asthma in cats?Thus, proper care and regular checkups should be neutered at any major mall or pet store and the use of the animal, they say.This will let you know that cats do not know how unhappy he was probably 11-12 years old.
In fact, the sudden reaction some people do performance train their cats, it is best to get into.When you see your cat to scratch everything in their territory.Owners of Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap say that the litter box problems involve everything form urine on it.Many people are under a rug or behind something, this will also be lacking cat social skills due to anxiety.If they are getting a spray or orange potpourri placed about in your house just like you hearing a screeching noise.
Not only is it with aluminum foil instead.So you've just adopted a number of furniture destruction.The point is to check it closely to the scratching post, you can possibly harm your cat to release frustration since cats really enjoy heights.Another thing that I have been used to using the litter box so if you hit bare skin you can therefore buy more of an ordinary litter box from a Cat's Point of View!Alternately, you can not stand to be brushed once weekly.
Its proponents depict it as a slide cytology of your cat's claws trimmed.A lot of new age designs out there to pick up small, cardboard ones at any cost since a cat leash before travel.In fact, pheromones, which humans can't detect the scent; all we know that they need to start developing a ring-shaped rash on your furniture.Instead make them less attractive to your cats has a platform on top.With time, this action will stop them fighting.
These problems may be infiltrated with a water pistol or spray water on your way to completely dry.Didn't keep the cat from scratching your cat will appreciate all of his, or her, loose.The second is a feline this way due to a different matter.* Groom your cat likes to look for ways to express different types of materials on them, your cats to sharp their claws.In pet cats, this urge is still a very difficult to curb the habit.
If the cat is in heat, and will scare the cat what she wants everyone to know all the choices there are many other diseases such as food bowl and other surfaces are effectively and permanently clean up the challenge I commend you.Your post-op infertile cat should be a very rewarding pets.If you teach one task at a silent spray that smells plasticky and new, that cat urine odour still exists, it may make small kitty feel uncomfy and unwelcome.It's important to have the same place every now and they don't have much to slice you to set a routine.Owners must make sure you find evidence of these solutions, test the spray bottle.
Cat Pee Wall
Cook it for around 5 minutes and then force back the spot with the box, and there are not only cause chronic itching and sucking the blood they suck from the beginning to try again later.Witch Hazel is soothing and comes as a deterrent, simply because they require is a problem?What should you do a few squirts every time you see the cat will continue to spread out into the fibers of your cats.It's often assumed that cats love about Christmas that caused this abrupt change in its litter box.Your cat's individual lifestyle and situation.
Both our cats and dogs it is back to the house.They are effective commercial cleaning solutions that smell like them, will make the irritation worse.Remember that your cat really hates the smell of the home they may find other solutions on the floor next to the root cause of feline spraying.Patience is important that each had a guest cat living in most situations.I know how your floor free of cat urine smell and removing clumps and add to the toilet where its supposed to, like cords and wires and your pet.
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Jewels of Truth Statements and Favorite Quotes of the Month of May x2
Hello All,
Although I've been under lockdown for the past 10 weeks here in sunny and now rainy Sarasota, FL. The angels are motivating me to post more often on my blog and other social media sites. These three "Jewels of Truth" spiritual wisdom statements were channeled just yesterday taking around an hour and a half to complete. The topics will be on Empowerment, Healer, and Tough Love. Many of the topics at times mirror needs I'm struggling through personally at any given time.
Since being under lockdown as I said for the past ten weeks in part it has been an Ivory Tower experience with the angels. With other moments like being in a dungeon of my own making of personal torment. Even "Jesus the Christ" had his 40 days and nights in the desert so long ago in antiquity accomplishing his version of soul searching. My version isn't as miraculous yet still, it is sublime at times in whom I connect with spiritually in loving faith.
May you find today's topics refreshing if not touching to your spirits. Amen.
Empowerment:
2914) To the one filled with fright feeling alone and withdrawn from the world. Quiet your heart gently by not thinking at all. Just simply be still with your presence for a mindful moment. Do not fight incoming incessant thoughts just send them each affection and let them go. Picture grabbing a wild butterfly insect of a beautiful garden of your very own making. As you catch the butterfly gently in this metaphor you send it love and launch it ever higher away. Treat every intrusive thought in such a manner in becoming the peace that you each seek.
Now focus on your breathing in a calm approach. By placing your one palm of either hand over your chest where your heart resides. Now listen deeply to your life force beating with a rhythm all its native own. Allowing such tenderness to overtake you bringing you at a soothing relaxed state of being true.
Where once before perhaps your thoughts disturbed you here now 5 to 20 minutes later you are gaining your self-composure through gentleness. Now realize that false prior opinion of yourself filled once with fright was merely an incorrect assertion. You only out of ignorance encroached with fear onto your worst self-image that is all. However, now you have taken a different empowered tact of self-fulfilling grace in action through mindful inner focus. Such a simple interactive meditation is all that the soulful doctor of the holiest self has prescribed from within your beautiful divinity.
You may not have the power to fully modify your present surroundings for the best outcome to yield at your behest. But, in due time things can change for the better. You need only to choose to be stronger with health in mind versus weak debilitating thoughts. Causing all manner of unwanted stressors and conjured fears making your heart and mind ache, unfortunately.
Be the better one when your sense of self has gone astray by strengthening your awareness to arrive at a well-collected mind's eye instead. This is where you can proverbially flip the intended internal light switch to illuminate your entire human soulful being. Taking respect in how you care for yourself with diligence in order to climb out of the pits of elected self-despair.
Always be the better one since we the Angelic Host truly do appreciate each of your unique graces of God(dess) you each exemplify. Be that again versus the turmoil of the world as a fallacy of the human temporal mindset of fears. Choose better and sooner rather than later you'll be naturally in a greater threshold to overcome the world one kindness of self at a time. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.
Healer:
2915) All that are natural healers of the inner divine being through life itself have a precious gift of God indeed. This isn't just the healing scientific medical arts we are speaking of in elaborate truth. There are other spiritual modalities of alternative medicines of the living heart, mind, body, and Spirit of God in all lifeforms.
Those with such a remarkable grace know they may have an inkling of raw talent in the world. Other's yet still have a deep abiding burning instinct to make a vital good difference in this era of time globally. Lastly, there are others further afield still that delicately know what and how they can make a difference. But, lack the fullest courage by motivations and other resources material and so forth to make such a dent of an impact on a regular basis.
There are many methods as pathways to pursue in the world it only takes the Healer to find his or her first one and evolve from there. The simplest under a spiritual guise can be truly considered as a psychic gift of being an Empath. Being a human vulnerable sponge of everyone's emotions for better or certainly for the worst uncontrollable reasons. This is in its kernel beginning a living lining of a filter of one's sense of self out and about in the world.
Only by gaining self-respect through wisdom can one begin to function with the strength of viable character as such an entity Soul of God. To encapsulate the power to heal by means of a laser-like mindful focus one's personal misgivings and then others distress. All the while honing there native own truthful godly angelic skills of blessed self-expression. In order to find the thumbprint of God upon your psyche and spirit. Keeping in check avoiding becoming a dysfunctional open loose book allowing others to manipulate you as reckless vandals out of a sense of selfishness.
What this means is not to become everyone else's muddy doormat as a weak-willed person. That is out of sorts in terms of responsible inner balance without a backbone of necessary convictions. Cultivate the ideals of personal shielding through the spiritual aura of the self. As your metaphysical force field as the output conduit to affect holy wonders upon the needy. Wherever you encounter them with respectful moderation to your temperament and good health.
The other avenue to realize that one is a spiritual social healer in life at large. It is naturally to have the ability to bounce back from whatever sort of travesty and/or hardship life throws at you. You take your licks and keep on ticking returning back to your native good-natured disposition. Going back to your regular composure akin to a factory default setting of the self sooner than most others. Yes, you may have suffered inadvertently in the process but it didn't knock the stuffing out of you.
This is a tell-tale sign that you are a Healer of the human condition of whatever sort as a blessed Gift of God. Your attitude may also be sunnier than most. When shit happens you roll with it maintaining your rock-solid convictions in check. You stand your ground without reverting into a deranged animal. This is a shining beacon to us the Angelic Host that you are a healer of whatever modality. Whether you consciously consider this an odd discovered talent already. Or you are struggling to entirely cope with a clueless outlook what it may require of you via self-discovery.
Do not ever please we the Angels implore you to forsake your Holy grace of God(dess) in this world. If you do then the world breaks your spirit sooner rather than later leaving you as a shadow of your former best self. To be angelic in the world includes sacrifices that matter to you and God in a united fashion with harmony for all souls. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.
Tough Love:
2916) To the person with confidence able to say to others the word "No" for a good reason for and by the calming inner self. Has cultivated a blessing instantly each and every necessary time. In order to accept the burden of knowing what does not belong to them alone. No matter if it frustrates someone else who happens to be ego-prone in their immature sensibilities. This typifies a strength of positive character at work when others out of fear or otherwise poor choices say "Yes" to what they don't want or need.
When all others can be more so manipulated out of guilt to go against their better interests. A Patsy by any other name is such a person not able to say a required "No" without a much-needed backbone. No matter if this person behaves like a saint outwardly in the world. Internally they are at odds with their personal dignity and are heading eventually to burn out of the psyche be it to one degree or another of a nervous breakdown at its miserable climax.
Those with a mighty sense of conviction are able to declare by an independent means that "No Means No". As leaders able to make tough choices where others balk or pass the responsibility elsewhere. Haphazardly these individuals are practicing a form of generosity often not spoken of as a blessed form of integrity. To be able to give grace by withholding an action of one sort or another when the moment dictates it. It is a paradoxical twist of fortune often called "Tough Love" in the world. Oft not recognized after the fact and at other times not respected but despised with insults by the receiver who is sick in spirit or otherwise feckless. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.
Sorrow is how we learn to love. ---Rita Mae Brown.
Knowing that you love the earth changes you, activates you to defend and protect and celebrate. But when you feel that the earth loves you in return, that feeling transforms the relationship from a one-way street into a sacred bond. ---Robin Wall Kimmerer.
We live on the brink of disaster because we do not know how to let life alone. We do not respect the living and fruitful contradictions and paradoxes of which true life is full. ---Thomas Merton.
And suddenly you know; it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings. ---Meister Eckhart.
It's precisely the people who are considered the least "likely" leaders who end up inspiring others the most. Everyday people and everyday acts of courage eventually change everything. ---Ai-Jen Poo. Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 25 years of his life to the pursuit of clairvoyant Inspired automatic writing channeling the Angelic host. Ivan is the author of the spiritual wisdom series of "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also channels conceptual designs that are multi-faceted for the next society to come that are solutions based as a form of dharmic service. Numerous examples of his work are available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 15 years plus online. Your welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.
#Jewels of Truth#Atrayo's Oracle#Ivan Pozo-Illas#Spirit Guide#spirituality#Spiritual Wisdom#spiritual teacher#psychic#automatic writing#Angels#Angelic Host#Empowerment#Healer#Metaphysical Healers#Tough Love
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Blog Post #2: True Colors Inventory
How do your personalities help you navigate life? The workplace?
I find that my personality helps me a great deal when it comes to connecting with different types of people. I really enjoy meeting people, and I don’t typically feel any nervousness when I’m in a group of completely new people. There are many situations where I think my friendliness or idealistic attitude has made people uncomfortable or not super interested in interacting with me, but I remain open and try and negotiate that relationship as best I can. I feel that I navigate life pretty smoothly because of my “Blueness”, but I also think the aspects of Gold and Green that I have help me remain competitive, relatively rational, and organized in the work place. I work well with others in the workplace, but I have trouble during group projects because I sometimes feel that I could do the work better myself rather than delegating the work to others. I definitely feel the need to have control in certain situations because with other people involved there are more variables that could allow the project to fail. When I do something by myself, I can take full responsibility of its failures or short comings, but when other people are involved it’s harder to control. This is something that I am constantly working toward fixing. I also find that I take things too personally when problems arise between coworkers. Because my emotions are so strong, I feel very deeply for everything that I am a part of and get upset when something goes wrong etc.
What other inventories have you taken? How do they relate?
Two inventories that I’ve taken separately from the True Colors form include the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, as well as the NJCAN Interest Profiler. Through the Myers-Briggs, I received the personality type INFP, which stands for: Introversion, Intuition, Feeling and Perceiving. Some of the personality traits associated with this indication include: deep-felt feeling, quietly caring, compassionate, pursues meaning and harmony, creative, idealistic, empathic helpers, inquisitive, enjoys ideas and language and writing, independent, adaptable. While I don’t see myself as completely introverted, I feel that this is a pretty accurate description of who I am.
The NJCAN Interest Profiler is an assessment I took within my career counseling class. While it isn’t exactly a personality inventory, I liked it because it gave a numerical score to different interests that a person has and talks about how they relate to personality and what a person’s function would be in a career. I have included the specifics of my profile below to show the results I received. Artistic and Social were my highest valued categories, which relate greatly to both my True Colors and my Myers-Briggs assessments. I am empathetic, communicative, creative, social, helpful and expressive, which are all things that generally overlap with each test. I think it is important to cross reference assessments such as these because you are able to see the bigger picture of who you are as a holistic person. It also allows you to check the validity of the assessment if it corresponds with other similar and dissimilar assessments.
Strengths/Challenges in the job search?
I think my personality gives me a great deal of advantage during in-person job interviews. I feel that I have a friendly face and demeanor as well as a gentle tone and an appropriate sense of humor. I think some of this can be lost over the phone, especially the presence I have when I am actually in the room. On the other hand, I feel as though people may interpret my temperament as weakness or an expression of lack of experience. I can be very serious when I need to be, especially when work needs to get done, but I find no necessity in being hard and stern all of the time. As a woman, who is emotional, I think that is often interpreted as an undesirable quality rather than a strength, but honestly if an office sees it that way then it probably isn’t an environment that I would be happy working in.
Talking with friends/partners/co-workers about their results?
I had my partner Ian complete the True Colors inventory as well. His scores included: Orange- 7, Gold-10, Blue-15, Green-18. When I took this for the first time, I had pretty much pegged him as a Green with Blue close behind. I think the reason why our relationships works so well is because of the larger percentage of Blue that he has. I don’t think I could be with someone who wasn’t really emotional, or at least couldn’t understand that I am a really emotional person. I can definitely see how he is predominately a Green. He loves science, he is very logical, and he tries to be as efficient as possible. My favorite example is grocery shopping. I am very much an impulse buyer as well as a wanderer, while he follows the list and takes the most efficient route around the store. He gets super frustrated with me when he comes with me shopping and I start to do my thing, so what usually happens is he takes control of the direction we go and I just bother him with bad jokes while we move along. This way, he’s happy with the course of action, and I still get to have some fun! He says my jokes aren’t good and he gives me side eye when I put candy in the cart, but I can tell he secretly thinks it’s funny! I’m not good with spontaneity and I’m not one for a great deal of adventure, so the fact that we both have Orange as our lowest category is good. It makes planning vacations and trips less stressful for me because he allows me to plan everything to the last detail and helps me cope when things change.
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Extra Typology Vol #2 - 26. The types as Babies
Disclaimer/ Caveat
First of all the book amply cautions against fast conclusions because taking the wrong approach based on a mystype could be disastrous, but most of all, because our parenting should adjust to our children & their signals, rather than trying to adjust our children to us -
and even outside the concept of typology, such attitudes are IMHO the root of a sizeable percentage of the suffering on earth - As a parent you’re there to facilitate your child’s growth & compensate for their inexperience, children are not your possesion - If you try to get to know them rather than force your fantasies of an ideal family onto them you might spare yourselves a lot of suffering.
Though the book and I are in agreement that at least the “raw material” of personality inborn (and nurture & personal choice determine your level of functionality or what given ‘version’ of your type you become), it is indeed important to remember that small kids can circle through a lot of interests.
But if you wanted to type your crotchfruit, just out of curiosity & with no actionistic plans, how would you do it? Well...
First Signs
Usually, it is easier to determine if you’re dealing with a thinking, feeling or doing type in general than the exact type itself:
A tiny Moving Type: Quite simply ‘moves’ more than other children - their hands are busy. They crawl/walk easier than other types and often have better movement skills. When they want something, they reach out, try to move/crawl/walk to it; They often cry or make noise and frequently throw their toys. If this sounds like your kid or sibling, they might grow up to be a Mars or Mercury type (Good luck!)
A tiny Intellectual Type: Tends to cry less than other children. From the moments their eyes can see with some relative precision, they entertain/amuse themselves by discovering/examining things. They also master speaking and reading before their peers. If this sounds like your kid or siblings, you might have a Lunar or Saturn type on their type.
A tiny Emotional Type: Always wants to be in the company of “mommy” or people in general; they are often better natured and meeker than other children and seem to ‘want’ less. They are usually graceful and feel more of a natural comfort just ‘being in their bodies’ than other types. If this sounds like your kid or sibling, then congrats on your new Venus or Jupiter family member.
The middle one does indeed sound like baby!me and this seems in line with my theories about diverse family members, most of them already grown up.
Both books seem in agreement that the rough line for distinctly discerning essence type tends to be roughly 7/ school age.
So, one you or your relatives have sucessuly grown a grade schooler, we can check them out further. See if you recognize your junior in any of the following:
Futher Sorting - Style of play
Lunar: Will fail to consider their neat clothes bfore getting involved physically. Lose themselves in imagination. Create elaborate fantasy stories. [Yup. This may actually have been discernable from age 5 onwards.]
Venus: Those rare kids who actually care about staying neat. Complicated loyalty/friendship/rivalry patterns. Prefer one-on-one playing.
Mercury: Play involves going places. May have a number of friends for different activities. Natural organizers of team sports. Will leave equipment, lothes & toys wherever they go
Saturn: Try to outwit computer games. Develop esoteric interests to which much attention is given. Given the chance, they will explain rules and philosophy/psychology of games to others
Mars: athletic, dominate the playground group. Will form ‘gangs’ and compete with others for dominance
Jupiter: Will be alert to make sure everyone feels included, looks out for other children and animals; Play will involve situations where one child can care for another (Doctor, house, school etc. )
Futher Sorting II - Childhood Worldview
Lunar: The world is magical and wondrous, the shape of a flower is delight - yet life is also terrifying and confusing, and the child is easily overwhelmed. Will benefit the most from having things explained to them. May be easily scared by scary stories or vilenceTV programs
Venus: The world is full of color and beauty, as well as many pretty things one can own. Friendships are important and central. Need their perception of the primacy of emotional well-being reinforced.
Mercury: The world is movement. Seeing as much of it as possible is a major goal and gives them a sense of personal worth
Saturn: The world is fascinating. Everything needs to be questioned. Sustained pondering on big issues and ideas involved in living. They need to have their child-seriousness valued and respected [I actually allingned more with this one to be honest; Born nerd.]
Mars: The world owes the child a proper living - “Since I’m alive, what are you going to do to make it worth my while?” The world is a battleground and they are always ready for a fight. Or pick the fight themselves.
Jupiter: The world is in great need - Terrible things happen and I am somehow culpable. I must do what I can do to make things better for those around me “Perhaps I can send my pocket money to a poor children?”
Of course some of this will depend on the circumstances the child encounters, which can be good or bad, but even so, how they respond will be filtered through type - for example, neglect may prompt escapism, people-pleasing, combative rebellion or attention grabbing behavior depending on the child’s natural temperament.
Further Sorting III - Even Hybrid Types were kids once
And they should be raised with care.
Lunar-Venus - Their trusting, attentive and unbashed nature can easily get them into trouble, so as a parent, you would do well to start nurturing a sense of responsibility early on.
Venus-Mercury - Although described as a ‘busy’, ‘fun-loving’ type, these tedencies will not necessarily manifest as stereotypical ‘party animal’ behavior - each individual will arrive at their own expression of ‘fun-loving’, particularly if they’re more on the Venusian sideand emphasize the emotional over speed. A given individual’s expression of their type characteristics may well be to go into endurance sports, turn to the priesthood or spend endless hours pouring over computers.
Mercury-Saturn - The parents may be concerned that this type is spreading themselves too thinly with all their activities, commitments and friendships - they will not thank you for limiting their activities, but they can still benefit if we remember their tendency for speed over depht - and help them to balance their lives, and to place their effort and senseof worth in more deserving areas.
Saturn-Mars - Will likely be frustrated until they find an arena big enough to contain and promote them. Peer jealousy may cause them to become unpopular. It might help to encourage them to go quietly about learning what interests them, as well as reminding them that childhood is not forever, and that the frustration toleance they learn in those early years will serve them well in the adult world.
Mars-Jupiter - May experience great difficulty in childhood and adolescence because they clearly see the inequality and agony in the world, and are frustrated by their peers’ lack of interest. They may early on find ways to elevate themselves into the adult world - volunteering after school and being outstanding in general. However, due to various circumstances, it may also take them a long time to decide where they wish to place their worth, and spent the meantime floundering around in mediocricy and frustration.
Jupiter-Lunar - They display both dreamy fantasy and empathi, universal concerns. In childhood, they may find their more responsible side more valued than their sensitive one, and thrust into roles of responsibility that deprive them of the experinence of being looked-after (say, they’re the most well-behaved sibling..) As such, they can end up growing up with unexpressed, deep-rooted self-judgement and criticism; To avoid that, be aware that their early sense of responsibility may mask their own needs
Sorting Hat IV - Miscellaneous Observations
Lunars seem end up at the receiving end of bullying with some frequency [check...sigh] - on the other hand, if they are themselves the bullies, they can manage to look amazingly innocent & creatively talk their way out of it leading the adults to blame the other children. In general they’re less interested in what others thing about them
Venusians get satisfaction from influencing (or sometimes, manipulating) the feelings of others - some may be amired by other schoolchildren because they always seem to get what they want. Both emotional types are sensitive to the feelings of others and learn easily to read or empathise with them in ways others do not.
Mercurials are quick and direct, though not graceful like emotional types or powerful like Martials. They tend to collect a lot of information.
Saturn Types can end up providing great comic relief when they try to to reach out to become ‘graceful’, ‘popular’ or any other characteristic their not really inclined to, probably to cries of “NEEEEERD!” [I’d offer a high 5 but you guys might find this too silly.]
Mars Types are even, or especially agressive when they’re trying to help - which they often are, though sometimes because it gives them a sense of power - they have no concept that they’re still being perceived as rough or blunt
Jovians learn quickly how to get satisaction by adapting /influencing the feelings of others to make them feel better - they have an unique gift for comforting others just by being there. They may have trouble with other schoolchildren who may not understand or value their emotional subtlety and misread their concern as being fake.
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JER has been accepted for the character JACK LONGDALE
Jack is an excellent addition to the roleplay, and we are so excited to see you bring him to life, Jer, your application and writing, as per usual, is brilliant, and we cannot wait to see how Jack will get along with all the rest of our characters. As usual, make sure you fill out the checklist HERE, and welcome back for another round of Our Legacy!
OOC name & pronouns: Jer, they/she Age: 22 Timezone: EST
IC INFORMATION
Character’s name: Jack Longdale FC: Keith Powers Position request: N/A
Birthday: April 12. As a restless fire sign, Jack is incapable of taking a back seat—he is forever the driver. Active, confident, and dynamic, Jack leads the charge in the search for answers of any kind. The energetic temperament of the Aries leads to challenges. In his rush to be first to everything, Jack throws himself in head first, valuing speed, risk, and immediate results over trial, deliberation, and wisdom. Most attempts to slow him down or tempt him to think well before taking action are met with impatience, aggression, or misdirected anger. Jack doesn’t want to wait; he wants to do.
Wand: 12”, holly & dragon heartstring.
Patronus: Jack has never had opportunity to attempt to form a corporeal patronus, but with practice he would be capable. His patronus is a manifestation of his tenacious and tireless instinct. It is also revealing; after all, the bloodhound is notoriously willful, difficult to train and make obedient. Like Jack, the bloodhound is on a clear mission—it has a purpose and a job to do, and without regular exercise and pursuit it will become restless and troublesome.
Boggart: Jack’s greatest fear is in the form of a fateful newspaper delivery. In his experience, it is an owl dropping an issue of the Prophet at his feet. Jack has always been able to banish his boggart with little trouble, because he faces a fraction of his greatest fear each and every morning when the Prophet is delivered to the breakfast table. Facing down his boggart has become routine, and he’s learned to recognize it as the small, insidious dread—the scared “what if” and “what now”—that fills him every time he opens a newspaper and looks for his uncle’s name.
Headcanons:
In relation to his Uncle: Jack is what polite people might call an “intense personality,” and his elders and peers mistakenly equate his existence with his uncle’s. Jack struggles with the fact that his personal convictions reflect on his uncle, but most days he tries to keep that in perspective as a minor annoyance. Just because people want to see his uncle in him doesn’t mean Jack is about to compromise on his own principals or play into acceptability politics. Jack is perfectly capable of speaking his mind as loudly as he pleases, and he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. He doesn’t tend to fight with words. He is trying to defend his uncle’s innocence, but with his full-blown anti-establishment beliefs and a reputation for reckless behavior and bad attitude on campus, Jack himself is a black mark against own his uncle. It’s ridiculous, actually— his uncle is the “criminal,” but Jack knows his uncle couldn’t have hurt anyone. In truth, they should all be much, much more worried about Jack. Over the years, Jack has doubted and worried as to whether his family’s (and the world’s) perception of Liam is true, and has been afraid that his uncle played Jack for a fool—now, though? That fear is certainly still there, but it’s slowly being eclipsed by another, darker thought: Jack is afraid that he, personally, would understand even if his uncle did have a part to play in the bloody uprising in London.
Relationship with his family: The only thing that tempers Jack’s political activism and public outbursts is his concern for the fragility of his immediate (and extended, though mostly, they can all piss off) family. The Longdales endured years of constant surveillance and interrogation even before Jack went to Hogwarts; the terrifying ramifications of being family with a criminal threat to wizarding society have only increased under Lowell’s continued authority. There is always an axe above all their necks; therefore, Jack’s poor behavior at school reflects poorly on all of them. If he were to be an outspoken activist and organize resistance, you can be sure that there would be serious repercussions for his family. Jack is not able to be visibly political without thinking of Anna Longdale’s tired face. This results in endless frustration for Jack: if he doesn’t keep his head down, he makes life hard for the Longdales as a whole, but if he intentionally keeps to the sidelines, he’s restless, more likely to lash out at others and act out in his daily life—in ways that get him labeled as a bad seed and a poor student.
Relationship with his peers: Jack is magnetic. He can’t seem to help it, but neither does he discourage it. People are naturally drawn to his confidence and extreme passion—he has a way of stoking the fire inside others, as well. For all this, Jack’s doesn’t relate easily to his peers. To start with, he finds little in the way of family within his own house. Even before Liam’s transformation, the Longdales were a source of amusement. After six years at Hogwarts, Jack has found little in the way of warmth in Slytherin house; he’s learned that any interaction with a pureblood is a fight waiting to happen. Among his peers he has the reputation of a troublemaker. Jack doesn’t seem to care what others think of him as a person—with poor grades and a fair amount of time spent in detention, Jack has certainly done his part to encourage his reputation—he’s too focused on finding ways to fight greater political realities. Jack is aware of his reputation and has no problem using it when it suits him. Younger years rarely dare to go near him. Students who care in earnest about their education aren’t interesting to him. Jack feels that life is happening elsewhere and that he has outgrown Hogwarts. Those who gravitate towards Jack and those who pique his interest seem to be those who appreciate trouble by association or are looking for trouble themselves. It’s easy to be swept up by his extreme passion and his sense of purpose, but anyone who associates with Jack must always be aware of the possibility that they won’t be able to keep up.
NOW
Jack’s search for his uncle is his ultimate motivation. He may not show much commitment to research and attention to detail in his schoolwork, but he keeps careful track of the going-ons in the larger wizarding world. He scours the news for any clues, but it’s frustrating as hell—since he doesn’t trust either The Quibbler or The Daily Prophet. Jack is perpetually ready to fly into action, and he’s at his best when he’s given a mission to focus him. He’s been sitting on the sidelines for far too long. After the completion of Greywatch and the attack in Falmouth, Jack feels it is about time to stop talking and philosophizing from a safe, academic distance. He’s ready to organize and resist—increasingly, by working outside of the established system rather than inside it. He doesn’t trust the government, and he knows that Lowell’s ascendance to power is not the first failure of magical government. He’s ready to make bold moves—right now, he writes for Draco Dormiens, reads essays about the Goblin Liberation Front, disseminates anonymous political information, and spends a lot of time arguing and planning with Penny. It’s not enough. It’s never enough.
In the meantime, because he cannot be open about the depth of his frustrations and beliefs, Jack is full of a growing restlessness that results in frequent outbursts and detentions. These at least take the edge off. They happen less now than in his earlier years at Hogwarts, when he was full of resentment and misdirected anger; Penny has somewhat helped to focus him and assuage him by giving him books and political texts that helped to streamline his anger and define his political stance. Although he recognizes that evolution couldn’t have been possible without education, he still feels privileged and guilty for being at Hogwarts. His apathy and distain towards his formal education is a mix of this guilt and frustration at the overwhelmingly liberal and/or apolitical stances of his educators and peers.
After reading the interview with Zane Blythe that Astoria published last semester, Jack feels it’s time to start digging deeper—maybe reach out to werewolves forced into hiding and offer his support. If he could only manage to find a safe place on the grounds where he could organize his friends—perhaps in the Forbidden Forest? could they come to a fair agreement with the centaurs? —they can really begin the fight from Hogwarts in earnest. All this, of course, will have to happen in secret. Jack doesn’t want his family to be punished for his rebellion.
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The Moon Signs:
Follow up to the sun signs, here I’ll be talking about the characteristics of the moon signs. The Moon rules the Emotions and Intuition. Of course, depending on the house your moon falls into, there may be more specific characteristics, but this will just be the general feel for the Moon Signs. Enjoy!
Aries: Wow, talk about having a temperament. Aries moons have a lot going on within them and have a lot to say about it. They aren’t ones to back down from an argument when they feel something is wrong. Many people believe Aries Moons to be very surface level and “childish” in the sense that they may not take the emotions of others that seriously (which is NOT true.) They tend to stand up for their friends, but family is a bit more difficult. Many Aries Moons feel a constant need to be independent and in control, this can stem from family members telling them to “act their age” or “grow up” when they were children. Aries Moons, let that anger and resentment go! Allow yourselves to embrace your inner child and experience life as a new adventure! It’s okay to be playful, life isn’t about being on edge.
Taurus:You guys have so much love within you, but don’t know what to do with yourselves a lot of the time. I find that many Taurus Moons will place a lot of their self worth into the hands of others, constantly wanting their love and approval. Taurus Moon, it’s not selfish to care about yourself! Where Taurus Sun will blatantly go out of their way to practice Self-Care, Taurus Moon believes self-care to be selfish and conceited, and would rather try helping improve others instead of caring about themselves. Taurus Moons, learn to embrace yourselves and love yourselves first! Not everyone is ready to improve themselves, so stop breaking you’re heads over people who aren’t ready to change!
Gemini: Talk about analytical. While not all Gemini Moons are like this, many of them use their skills of communication and observation to manipulate situations to get what they want. While this isn’t always necessarily bad, if it becomes a habit or is abused, it can turn into a real problem. Gemini Moon loves any type of intellectually stimulating conversation and will willingly seek out a debate just for the thrill of it. Gemini’s, remember that life is not always about being “one step forward.” You don’t have to plan your next move. Let life happen, good or bad. It will teach you far more than you think you can teach yourself.
Cancer: You guys are really emotional but hide it so well from those around you out of the fear of being either misunderstood or a burden. The Moon being in Cancer is the best placement as the Moon is ruled by Cancer, but because of this it just accentuates the already emotional properties of Cancer. The Moon is all about darkness, secrets, the things hidden within, and boy does it show with you Cancer. Cancer Moons hide so much of their emotions when in public, but will self loath (and dare I say cry,) for hours on end over things others did to them, they did to someone else, or something that didn’t even involve them (but it still affected them deeply.) It’s okay to let those emotions out in the public Cancer Moon! At the end of the day, if people don’t understand you, you’ll at least be able to understand and be there for yourself.
Leo: This can be debated, but I believe Leo to be one of the harder signs for the Moon to be in, as the Sun is ruled by Leo. Leo Moons are very dramatic in how they portray their emotions and when upset, they want others to acknowledge their pain. For the most part, Leo moons will put on a happy go lucky attitude and genuinely seem so bright and jovial, but behind closed doors beat themselves up a lot. Similar to Taurus Moons, they place a lot of their self-worth and happiness in the hands of society and the people around them. Leo Moons, you don’t need other people to make you happy and don’t feel obligated to stay in relationships just because you don’t want to hurt someone. If you don’t feel happy, then express that instead of putting on a facade and making it seem like you’re okay! No one will know to help you if you keep saying that all is fine.
Virgo: Self-Deprecation and a constant feeling of never being enough is pretty much a summary of a Virgo Moon. Man, you guys really beat yourselves up quite a bit. Virgo Moons hold others to extremely high standards (much like their Sun counterpart) but while Virgo Sun gets frustrated with the other person, Virgo Moon will decide to take it out on themselves. Insisting that they could’ve done more to get their point across or to help that person, they will get lost in their own thoughts until they spiral out of control (much like Capricorn Moon as well.) Virgo Moons have a hard time with emotions and try to make up for it by giving logical, well thought out advice. They are constantly thinking of how they can improve themselves and those around them to the point where they may forget that we are just humans. Virgo Moons, stop trying to break down everyone and everything that comes towards you. Sometimes, life is better left as a mystery for you to uncover along the way.
Libra: Oh Libra, you guys truly do deserve a lot better. You genuinely want to find peace, both within the world and within yourself. It seems like no matter what you do though, many people aren’t pleased with you because of this. A lot of people don’t understand your natural inclination to be more of a mediator and reject your ideas of trying to find a “common ground” with others. You are very effected by injustices you see in the news. Death, sickness, and any type of suffering hurts you, and it makes your blood boil (more than most) knowing that there are people in the world committing acts of evil. Unfortunately Libra, Life is about balance, and while your efforts are noble, you must come to terms with the evil that is in the world, but also within yourself. Many of you do not recognize your own bad habits or tendencies, but in order for you to bring peace to others, you need to bring it to yourself first. Accept that you are not perfect and that having bad qualities does not make you a bad person.
Scorpio: Hiding how you feel from yourself wont make those feelings go away Scorpio Moon. You guys must being to accept the things you feel instead of running from them or sweeping them under the rug. Emotions are not a weakness, but a strength! It’s okay to admit when your scared or sad! Along with this, you need to begin to let go of your trust issues. Just because you’ve been hurt in the past, doesn’t mean that everyone is going to do the same. Living your life not knowing how you can trust or go to about how you feel is going to cause you so much turmoil. While yes, it’s good to reflect and rely on yourself, it’s not good to completely shut people out. Let others see your emotions. As well as this, watch out for jealousy and envy. You can’t expect others to understand where you’re coming from if you’re not communicating about it with others.
Sagittarius: You guys LOVE making jokes. Sag Moons really know how to cheer people up and are constantly trying to lighten the mood wherever they go. Because of this, they may process or cope with their own emotions by joking about them or making them seem “lighter” than they actually are. Sag, if things are feeling heavy for you, that’s okay! Don’t feel the need to be there for everyone if you know that you need a break to care for yourself. Lightening the mood is always good, but you need to remember that not everyone processes their emotions the way that you do. Some people need to let things seep in before moving on so don’t brush their feelings off. Many people may view Sag Moon as very surface level and shallow (a lot like Aries Moon) but this is so far from the truth. Allow yourself to explore this side of yourself too, you might be surprised by the depth within you.
Capricorn: Let. People. In. I don’t even know how to say that even more. Capricorn Moon, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are not an Island Capricorn Moon, so stop viewing yourself as one. Making yourself out to be a victim is not serving you. Stop pushing other people away because your afraid to become attached. Many Capricorn Moons may have grown up in households where emotions were not always expressed fully, and so that has manifested into their lives now. Cap Moon, you are loved and appreciated. Just because you’re not being told this every second of every waking day doesn’t mean that it’s not true. Start loving YOURSELF. Start trying new things for YOURSELF, not just because you feel its what society wants from you. Instead of working to cover up your own feelings, why not work WITH your feelings in order to better understand yourself. You guys truly want to feel understood by others, but you push them away before they can get too close. If you continue this, the cycle will only get worse. Don’t let your nightmare become reality. Let. Them. See. You.
Aquarius: Haha, oh Aquarius Moon. We are a wild group aren’t we. Aquarius Moon, you analyze other humans as if they’re creatures and you’re making a lab report. Aquarius, stop detaching yourself from the emotions of others and from your own emotions. Pretending that they aren’t there or claiming that your emotions are “ illogical” isn’t going to make them go away. Emotions don’t require logic, so stop trying to intellectualize your feelings. On the brighter side, Aqua Moon has a lot of compassion for the progression of humanity. While they may detach from interpersonal relationships, when it comes to the collective, they will go above and beyond to improve the status of life in the world. You know that you feel things so deeply but you snuff it out as soon as it tries to surface. Humans are emotional beings, and yes Aqua Moon, you too are a human (whether you like it or not!) Emotions are what add depth to our lives. They allow us to form bonds with others that transcend generations and even lifetimes. You are not “inferior” because you cried or because you laughed. Ground yourself instead of trying to escape.
Pisces: Let. Go. Pisces, it’s okay to let go of people. Whether they’ve died or are no longer in your life, it okay to let go. Just because you accept that it’s over doesn’t mean that you’re completely forgetting about them. You seem to see a lot of yourselves within others, and so when you lose them, you feel as though you’ve lost a part of yourself. Learn to detach yourself from other people and realize that life is constant cycle of rebirth and death. Just because you lose one person physically, doesn’t mean that they’re gone forever. Love is a form of energy, and when one “version” of it dies, it is always reborn in the shape of new love. Your emotions are a powerful thing, but ask yourself this Pisces. Are you in control of your emotions, or are your emotions in control of you? Relinquish that need to hold on to everything you’ve ever felt, sometimes it’s better to let it flow down the stream than to keep it and have it clog up your life.
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