#but first i need to watch some of the films i think ...
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It Takes Two
Robert had hit the jackpot with Liam. They just clicked in a way that he never had with any of his previous partners, or honestly, even his friends and family. Robert wasn't a particularly romantic person, but the word “soulmate” had cropped up in his thoughts more than once.
The two had the same humour, enough shared hobbies that they could always find something to do together, but were different enough that they were constantly introducing each other to new films, music, and ideas. It helped that they were both gorgeous. Liam was a little shorter than average with the trim build of a swimmer, and his sparkling blue eyes stood out below ash blond hair; Robert was taller and bulkier, but no less fit, and with dark hair and eyes. They both had great careers, great families, great friends, great lives. Robert couldn't imagine anything that could put a dent in the trajectory of their perfect relationship.
“Sorry, you want what?” Robert said, blinking. He couldn't believe his ears.
“I want us both to gain weight,” Liam said, breathing slowly and shakily as if to calm himself.
“Like bulking?” Robert asked slowly, grasping for an explanation that made sense. “At the gym?”
Liam exhaled forcefully and sat back. “No,” he said. “I want… I want to be fat. I'd like it if you were too.”
Robert sat in silence for a while. “Right,” he said after a while. “Okay.” He furrowed his brow. “Sorry, you're going to have to- why? I just don’t- why?”
“It's a uh…” Liam closed his eyes forcefully, balled his fists, clenched his teeth. “Well it's a sex thing,” he forced out. “I have a fat fetish.” He nervously played with the napkin in front of him and looked around the restaurant. “Like, we wouldn't have to, you know, I'm not saying I'd really want us to actually gain weight.” He laughed nervously. “But I just, I don't know, like it's a thing for me and I wanted you to know and umm well.” He took a sip of the beer in front of him. “I'd like it if we could do some stuff with it. Just, you know, roleplay or whatever, not obviously, like get fat or anything.”
The two men sat in silence for a while. “Okay,” Robert said after a while. “That's umm… well it's okay, I guess.”
“Yeah?” Liam said, sitting up in his chair and smiling for the first time in the conversation. “It’s okay? You don't think I'm a freak?”
Robert forced a thin smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean no, you're not a freak, but yeah, it's okay. I uhh, I think I'll need to think about it for a while.”
“Is everything okay for you both?” their waitress boomed down at the two of them in a thick Mancunian accent. They both jumped in their seats. “Sorry!” she continued. “Didn't mean to scare you!”
Robert shook his head. “Sorry, no, it's fine, we were just in the middle of umm… Yeah. It's good. The food’s all good.” He looked down at the half eaten burger and chips in front of him.
The waitress raised her eyebrows, clearly excited to tell her colleagues about the hot gay couple who seemed to be breaking up over dinner. “You call me if you need anything then, won't you?” she said as she walked away.
“I'm sorry,” Liam said. “This is a lot to just put on you, it’s weird. I just thought maybe over a meal might be easier, you know. Not as intense.”
Robert shook his head. “It's fine, really, I just need to…” He looked at the platter of sides that Liam had insisted on ordering. He'd found it odd at the time; now he found it made all too much sense. “I just need to get my head around it. Let's eat, yeah? We can talk about it in the morning?”
For the first time since they first met, their conversation was forced. They bounced between what they thought of recent movies they'd watched, banal work gossip, even at one point resorting to commenting on the weather. Slowly, the food disappeared from the table.
-
Robert woke Liam up by putting a mug of coffee on his bedside table and kissing his forehead. “Okay.”
Liam opened one bleary eye. “Okay?”
“Okay,” Robert repeated. “I've been thinking about it, and okay. If it'll make you happy, we can try out putting on some weight.” He sat down on the bed next to Liam.
“What?” Liam said, frantically sitting up in bed, all tiredness leaving his face immediately. “You're really- I mean, we don't actually- I'd be happy if we just did some roleplay, or maybe, I don't know, maybe a threesome with a big guy or-”
“No you wouldn't,” Robert said. “I saw you last night. You started off with saying you wanted us to get fat, then backtracked. This will make you happy.” He took a long swig of his own coffee. “And you make me happy. So I guess that I'll do it.”
“Rob, this is a really big… I mean…. Why are you okay with this? This is weird, I do know that.”
Robert shrugged and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I don't know if it is that weird, you know?” he said. “I mean, yes, obviously the specific, you know, request of it all is weird but…” He brought some photos and showed them to Liam. He swiped through men with varying degrees of dad bods, plus sized models, even some men with actual, if modest, guts. “People are into it, I guess? Like I know that. And I'm not averse to it, some of these guys are hot and I always like it when guys do bulks and…” He shrugged again and put his phone away. “I guess it would be nice to not worry about going to the gym and watching what we’re eating and stuff for a while.”
Liam hugged Robert tightly and kissed him. “This is amazing. You're amazing.”
Robert laughed. “Alright, alright. You’re going to owe me a lot of blowjobs for this though,” he joked.
“Oh don't you worry,” Liam flirted back. “Once you’ve put on a couple of stone you won’t be able to keep me off you.”
Robert’s face paled, but he gave a strained smile. “Come on,” he said, standing up off the bed. “I’ve been to the shops.” He swallowed nervously. “I thought we could have bacon and egg sandwiches for breakfast.”
-
Getting fat, Robert thought to himself a month later, was actually pretty fun. No more bothering with cardio at the gym, eating whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Food just tasted so much better if you stopped caring about how much butter you were adding, and he'd never realised how good McDonald's breakfasts were, but now was having multiple a week on his days in the office; this past week he'd even started experimenting with fast food for lunch, a luxury he'd always previously avoided. There were benefits he'd not expected as well; he’d hit multiple personal bests on lifts at the gym as all the extra food acted as fuel, and he's quickly come to enjoy the satisfying warmth of an overly full and stretched out stomach. Best of all, Liam’s sexual appetite, always healthy, had positively exploded, and the two spent most of their time together naked and eating.
Of course, not everything was rosy. Robert found it disconcerting how quickly his abs had faded and how his trousers had started pinching his sides and he would occasionally panic after they'd gorged on a particularly large meal, staring at the small curve of his gut in the mirror as he wondered what he'd agreed to. Still, he reasoned, it wasn't really noticeable yet, especially with clothes on and it really was fun just cutting loose. Besides, it made Liam happy, and Robert was quickly realising that that was all that really mattered to him. Everyone gains a bit of weight in relationships anyway.
“Best start laying off the beers Robby,” Robert’s brother Dylan said, poking the small puddle of fat at his middle. “You're starting to look like me.” He slapped his own beer belly, grown since the birth of his daughter a couple of years before.
Robert choked on his beer. “What?” he said. His hand flew down to his side, feeling the thin layer of fat that had started to accumulate. He was sure that you couldn't see the gained weight through his clothes. “No, I haven't, umm…”
“Ah, I'm only taking the piss,” Dylan said, slapping Robert on the shoulder before draining his pint. “I'm hardly one to talk, am I?” He gestured down at himself. “I'm just saying, our genetics, it'll catch up to you sooner or later. You've seen dad.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “Here, I saw him last week, he said he was seventeen bloody stone. I said bloody hell dad, you'll need to reinforce these chairs soon.” Robert laughed through a forced smile. “Anyway, speaking of taking the piss,” Dylan said standing up and walking to the gents.
Robert took the opportunity to survey his body. Perhaps, he thought, you could just about start to tell - sitting down anyway. His shirt fit just a tiny bit tighter than he was used to, and his torso wasn't quite as flat. He thought back to what his brother said. Would Liam want him to get as big as his dad? Seventeen stone. He tried to imagine that much weight on him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, he reasoned, he had a good base of muscle, he wouldn't look gone to seed like his dad, with his beer gut that strained all his shirts. Still, he resolved to cut back. Liam seemed happy enough with his current size, anyway.
Four hours later, Robert stumbled through his front door, chips, cheese and gravy in hand, sauce from his already devoured kebab down his shirt. He found Liam watching a film in the living room.
“Hello sexy,” Robert growled through a mouthful of cheesy chips. His cock hardened as he flopped down next to his boyfriend and began to feel up his thighs.
“Hello sexy to you too,” Liam laughed. “Did you get any for me?” he asked as he stole a chip.
Robert shook his head and pushed some more chips in his mouth. “Sorry, didn't think,” he said. “Was just really hungry.”
“That's okay,” Liam said with a smile growing alongside his erection. “You get nice and filled up.” He squeezed Robert’s middle. “I'm loving this beer bloat you've got going on,” he growled. He leaned in and kissed Robert’s neck while one hand began unbuttoning Robert’s jeans. “Did you have a good time with Dylan?”
Robert sighed as his jeans sprung open. “He said I'm getting fat,” he told Liam. His hand fell on top of Liam's as it massaged his gut. “Do you think I’m getting fat?”
Liam laughed. “Oh don't you worry about that,” he said. “You're nowhere near what I’d call fat yet.” Robert smiled before belching. Liam scrunched his nose against the smell of his breath, strong with beer. He leaned in and kissed Robert, hard and long. “How about we take those chips to the bedroom, big boy?”
-
Robert turned to the side as he looked in the mirror and sucked in. He tried to tell himself that he didn't look fat per se, but god was that getting more and more difficult. He was running out of euphemisms for his changing body; for a while he’d told himself he was looking solid, then healthy, then sturdy, burly, and husky and now he had to admit that thick was the best he could hope for. Hell, even chubby might be underselling it. He stopped sucking in and let his gut pool out, sticking out past the waistband of his new 36” waist trousers. He thought ruefully about the 38s lying in the drawer that Liam had convinced him to buy, telling him he'd be wearing them sooner rather than later. He brought his arm up and flexed. At least his muscles were growing too, but he had to admit, it was becoming less apparent as they got covered up with a layer of chub.
At least he wasn't alone in his changing body, with Liam also growing alongside him, although not nearly as fast. While Robert had recently passed two hundred and twenty pounds, Liam was lamenting how he was still fifteen pounds away from the big two-oh-oh. Robert told himself that it was just the difference in their heights, but he knew he wasn't really that much taller, and the difference in their weights really was becoming obvious. While Liam’s pudge had only just started forming a proper belly over the last five pounds, Robert’s own gut had long since reached the point of stretching out his shirts.
In a perverse way, Robert was almost beginning to enjoy how much fatter he was getting than Liam. He'd always been taller and bulkier than his boyfriend, with broader shoulders and bigger muscles, and odd as it was, he was enjoying how he was now outgrowing him in yet another way. He began to feel more masculine, more dominant, and he loved the way his new body made the smaller man go crazy and want to worship him, all while knowing that Liam would give anything to look like he did now. He'd always had a competitive streak, and this was just yet another competition to win.
Robert struggled to button up a shirt, and gritted his teeth as he felt the buttons strain around his shirt, even as his cock inexplicably swelled in his jeans. He walked downstairs and tried to ignore the sensation of his body shaking with each step to find Liam checking his hair in the mirror.
“You ready to go?” Robert asked.
Liam looked up smiling, only for his mouth to fall open upon seeing Robert. “Fuck Rob, you look massive.” He reached out to grab the bottom of Robert’s gut and gave it a small shake. “Are you sure you don't want to wear a large? It's a bit tight. There'll be loads of people there.”
Robert shrugged, the motion causing his shirt to ride up. He tugged at the hem awkwardly. “This is a large,” he explained. “I’ll need to go shopping for some extra larges this week.”
“Oh wow,” Liam whispered. “Extra large, that's, wow.” He tugged at the hem of his own shirt in a mirror of Robert’s motion. Despite being a medium, Robert knew, the shirt was barely snug. Robert struggled to hide a smug smirk, even as his annoyance at his shrinking clothes mounted.
“Well you'll be wearing this shirt soon enough, eh?” Robert said before giving Liam a kiss on the cheek. “And then we can share extra larges once you catch up.”
Liam smiled sadly. “Yeah, maybe.” His phone buzzed and he looked down at it. “Taxi’s here,” he said. “You got everything?”
Robert nodded an affirmative, before dashing to the kitchen and grabbing a couple of chocolate bars for the road.
“God did you see their faces?” Liam asked as they came back that night. His face was flushed with drink and arousal. “They couldn't believe how fat we'd gotten!”
Robert burped into his fist and began to unbutton his shirt and trousers. He gave a sigh of relief as his unconstrained belly was allowed to surge forward. Liam stared at the spectacle for a second before hurriedly mimicking the motion, despite his own clothes not being nearly so restrictive.
“Good food,” Robert said simply. His cock was rock hard, as it was more and more frequently whenever he'd stuffed himself, as he had tonight. He let out another belch.
“You ate so much,” Liam said, almost reverently. “When you went to the toilet, Olive asked if everything was okay. They're properly worried about how much weight we've gained.”
Robert gave a lopsided grin. He was sure they were mainly concerned about him, and not Liam, especially as he'd ended up finishing so many people's meals at the end of the night while Liam struggled to finish his own plate. He reached into his pants and gave his hard cock a squeeze. “You know,” he whispered to Liam, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “There's a tub of ice cream in the freezer. Maybe you could, you know, while I ate it?”
Liam's eyes widened. “You're still hungry? Oh wow. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I mean, wow.” His smile widened and his hands explored the sides of Robert’s gut.
“Go on then,” Robert said with a small nod of his head towards the kitchen. “I'll be upstairs.”
“Oh, right, yeah. Of course, I'll just go and, yeah.” Liam dashed off towards the kitchen as Robert trudged upstairs, massaging his bloated middle.
Liam entered the bedroom to find Robert sat on the edge of the bed completely naked, with his legs spread wide to expose his thick, hard cock.
“I microwaved it for a bit,” Liam said. “So it's easier to eat."
Robert merely grunted and spread his legs wider in response as he took the tub away from Liam, making his wants clear. Liam sank down before him and dutifully swallowed as much of his prick as he could. Robert grabbed the spoon embedded in the ice cream, and sucked what was on there before tossing it to the side. Instead he simply raised the tub to his lips and began to chug. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, relishing in the twin pleasures of head and dessert.
Okay, he thought, yes, he'd lost his hot gym body he’d worked so hard for, but god, if this is what the alternative was, who gave a shit? What did he want to work out for anyway? He was in a great relationship, getting treated like a king, so it's not like he needed to attract anyone. And besides, his brother was right, with his genetics it was always going to be a losing battle. No, it was best to just lie back, taste the ice cream, and think of England.
He climaxed just as he finished the ice cream. “Thanks babe,” he grunted. “That was great.”
“That was really hot,” Liam enthused, unbuckling his belt and dropping his own trousers.
“Anything to make you happy,” Robert said as he crawled into bed and began scrolling on his phone.
“Oh. Right,” Liam said. “Yeah.” He crawled into bed next to Robert.
-
Robert burped as he brought the carton of heavy cream away from his lips. The taste was greasy and unpleasant, but he thrilled at the thought of how many calories he'd just chugged, and all before dinner.
“What are you doing?” Liam asked. “We’re leaving in a moment, you still need to get changed.”
“Just topping up the tank,” Robert grinned. He pushed his gut out to make a show of it. “What's wrong with what I'm wearing?”
Liam looked at his watch. “We’re eating in half an hour Rob,” he said. “And that shirt’s ridiculous, it's barely buttoned.”
Robert smirked and moved in close, grabbing Liam's love handles and grinding their soft bodies together. “Don't worry babes,” he said. “I'm just getting warmed up. Hey,” he added in a whisper. “I'll even let you feed me dessert later.”
Liam broke away and stepped back. “I'm being serious Rob,” he said, struggling to hide his erection. “You can't wear that shirt. Go find an extra large.”
Robert drummed his fingers against his gut. “All in the wash,” he said smugly. “Come on, don't act like this doesn't drive you wild.” He fingered his belly button through one of the gaping buttons holes. “Two-fifty pounds, eh? Did you ever imagine I'd get so big for you when you asked me to get fat for you?” He reached down and gripped Liam’s cock through his trousers. Liam whimpered involuntarily. “Did I tell you that I'm fatter than Dylan now? Dad too. Biggest guy in the family now, sounds pretty good, doesn't it?”
Liam stepped back away from Robert’s grasp. “Just put on a jumper or something,” he said. He rearranged his erection. “The one you got a couple of weeks ago will work.” Robert stepped closer again and he stepped back. “Please Rob,” he said. “It is hot how big you're getting, and I'm glad you're starting to get something out of it too, but not in front of my family, yeah?”
“I'm just joking!” Robert said. “I know I can't wear this out in public anymore. I'll go sort it now.”
“Thank you,” Liam said.
As Robert left he smacked the side of his gut. “All for you baby!”
Robert returned shortly after, his jumper managing to cover his body but doing nothing to disguise his expanded girth.
“I didn't ask you to get fat,” Liam said, sitting at the kitchen table.
Robert laughed. “What?” he asked.
“Earlier,” Liam said. “You said I'd asked you to get fat.”
“Did I? Well, you did, didn't you! Otherwise I have made a very big error of judgement.” He lifted his jumper to reveal the still straining shirt.
“No, I mean, I know I did ask you to get fat, obviously,” Liam said. “It's just. I didn’t say that. I said I'd like us both to get fat. Together. I feel like that's not been a thing for a while.”
Robert stepped closer to Liam and rubbed his buttery side. “You're getting fat too,” he said. He almost laughed at the ridiculousness of comforting someone about how they were gaining weight. “Here, you hit two hundred pounds finally, right? That's great! I'm really proud of you.” He kissed bent down to kiss Liam. “You're my chubby guy too. It's just that this is your thing I guess, so I don't know how to do all the encouragement stuff you do for me. I just want to make you happy, and I guess I got a little carried away.”
Liam shook his head. “No, I know,” he said. “I'm just being silly. I do really appreciate what you've done.” He laughed. “You know, I just kind of thought you'd put on twenty pounds and then get freaked out. I actually thought I'd end up being the fatter one.”
Robert kissed Liam again. “Funny to think about that now, eh? Here, we've still got five minutes before we need to leave,” he said. “There's another thing of cream in the fridge. Why don't I feed it to you before we go?” He leant in and whispered in Liam's ear. “I think you'll really love how two hundred and fifty pounds feels.”
Liam pulled a face and laughed. “No way,” he said. “I don't know how you chug them, it's absolutely gross.”
Robert shrugged. “Your loss is my gain. Why don't you have some chocolate or something then?” He opened the fridge and licked his lips as he looked. “You know, if you don't want it, maybe you could feed it to me? Maybe we could see if I could break my record for number of calories today?”
Liam forced a smile. “Yeah, if you want,” he said. “Sounds hot.”
Robert grinned as he passed the cream to Liam and sat down and tilted his head back to allow him to pour it down his throat. “The things I do for you, eh?”
-
Robert lifted up his t-shirt as he scratched his side. His most recent stretch marks were particularly aggravating, a fact which wasn't helped by the fact that he was just on the cusp of needing to size up his t-shirts and sweatpants, the too tight fabric irritating the more sensitive skin.
“What's for dinner babe?” he asked Liam as he walked into the kitchen. Liam was clearing away the remnants of Robert’s lunch, a small pile of McDonald’s wrappers and boxes.
Liam's eyes flicked up and down Robert’s body before turning away. “Roast lamb,” he answered. “I thought we'd have something a bit special, since I reached fifteen stone yesterday.”
“Oh yeah?” Robert asked with a smile. He reached out and patted Liam's small paunch. “That's amazing, well done!” He hoped the milestone might work to undo some of the tension that had developed between them ever since Robert had passed two hundred and fifty pounds, almost thirty pounds ago now. Robert sometimes almost forgot that Liam was trying to gain at all, such was the disparity in their rates of weight gain.
“Yeah, I did actually tell you yesterday,” Liam said icily.
“Oh sorry!” Robert said, as he opened a cupboard and pulled out a pack of biscuits. “I must have forgotten.” He began to eat the biscuits three at a time.
“Yeah, well, you were eating, so…” Liam muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, you said something,” Robert insisted.
Liam shrugged. “I said that you were eating,” he repeated. “So it's not surprising that you didn't pay any attention to me.”
“Where's this come from?” Robert asked, incredulous. Biscuit crumbs showered from his mouth as he spoke.
“Where's it… How about the last two years of you doing nothing but eating all the time, only caring about yourself?” Liam snapped.
“Excuse me?” Robert said. “Can I remind you that all of this,” he gestured down at his body, his soft overhang hanging out the bottom of his shirt, the way his sides bulged out, the outline of his tits pushing out and down, the beard he'd grown to hide his double chin, “is because you wanted it?”
“Oh, don't put this on me!” Liam replied. “You want this.”
“You're the one with the fat fetish!” Robert pointed out. “I’m just going along for the ride because I love you!”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah?” he asked. “Well when was the last time I encouraged you then, if you're just doing it for me?”
“Yeah, actually!” Robert retorted. “I'm doing this for you and when was the last time you encou-”
“More to the point!” Liam interrupted. “When have you ever, ever, encouraged me?”
“What?” Robert asked, blinking. The question had genuinely thrown him.
“This was supposed to be about me!” Liam snapped. His voice shook a little. “I was the one who asked you to do it and at every fucking stage you've used it as an opportunity for me to wait on you hand and foot.”
“Oh, I've not done anything for you have I?” Robert grabbed the side of his gut and shook it. “Me gaining over a hundred pounds, just because you asked me to, doesn't count as me doing anything, does it?” A heavy silence hung in the air, broken only by the sound of Robert forcing biscuits into his mouth. “I knew you were jealous,” Robert muttered eventually, crumbs spraying from his mouth.
“I am not fucking jealous of you,” Liam fumed. “How dare you? Fucking jealous.”
“Yeah, you know what?” Robert said. “That's exactly what this is. You wanted to get fat and you can't stand how much bigger I am than you.”
“Can you hear yourself?” Liam scoffed. “And you act like you don't want this at all.” He turned away and began to pull food from the fridge to make dinner. “No, what I wanted was for us to gain weight together. You had to take it all way too far.”
“I took it too far?” Robert asked.
“Yes,” Liam replied. “Yeah, you know what, you did take it too far.” He spun around and gestured down at his body. “I'm quite happy with where I am. I wanted us both to get dad bods, hot ex-jock vibes. Not obese middle aged dad.”
Robert’s face grew red. “That’s a lie and you know it,” he spat. “You still worship this gut every chance you get.”
Liam’s nostrils flared. He turned away, back to the chopping board, and busied himself with vegetables for a minute. Robert could hear him trying to slow his breathing. Eventually, he turned back around. “I just think we should both slow down,” he said. His voice was measured, slow and calm. His fists were clenched and shaking with white knuckles. “We've both,” he put special emphasis on the word, “maybe taken this too far, and it's probably best if we both take a break from the idea of gaining for a bit.”
“Yeah, why don't you slow down your gains,” Robert mumbled.
“What was that?”
Robert bit his tongue. He was being offered an opportunity to end this argument. “Yeah, you're probably right,” he agreed. “Whatever makes you happy. It was your idea after all. If you want to stop, no reason to carry on.” He shoved a fistful of biscuits into his mouth.
“Yeah, right, well,” Liam said. He sighed and turned back towards the food he was preparing. “Why don't you go watch something? I'll call you when dinner's ready. It'll be a while.”
Robert shrugged. “Sure,” he agreed.
“And Robert?” Liam called just as he'd left the room.
“Yeah?” Robert replied.
“Why don't you set up the spare room for tonight,” Liam said. “Your snoring’s gotten really bad the past twenty pounds or so, and I need to be up early.”
Robert hesitated for a moment. “Yeah, can do.”
-
“”What the fuck is this?” Liam sighed. Robert couldn't help but admire the way his partner's newly blossomed love handles were framed by the hallway light behind him. He felt oddly proud of his boyfriend's recent weight gain, even as it paled against his own.
“I uh… well,” Robert began. He looked down at himself in the light streaming in from the door. Clad only in too tight underwear, crumbs had fallen down to litter his body hair. His fingers were thick with chocolate icing where he'd dug them into the cake in front of him, and he knew that it must be all around his mouth as well. “I got hungry,” he finished lamely.
Liam entered the dark kitchen and sat in a chair opposite Robert. “Dinner was plenty,” he said. “I was full.”
“Yeah, well, I'm bigger than you, aren't I?” Robert pointed out. “I can't help it if I get hungry, can I?”
Liam shrugged. “I guess, yeah,” he said. “Could you help buying a-” he picked up the packaging and peered at it in the dim light. “Party-sized triple chocolate fudge birthday cake, serves twenty, I'm assuming earlier today?” he asked. “Because this didn't magically appear in the kitchen. Could you help hiding it? And suggesting that you sleep in the spare room so I wouldn't notice when you snuck downstairs?”
Robert slumped in his chair. The wood groaned in protest. “I am trying,” he said after a while.
Liam sighed and put his head in his hands. “I know this isn't the first time this week,” he said. “I know that it's at least two or three nights most weeks, and if it's not,” he gestured at the mess of chocolate on the table and on Robert, “this, you sneak out and go to a drive through.”
The kitchen was silent for a while.
“We said we'd both stop gaining,” Liam said eventually. “We said we'd try and lose weight.”
“You've put on weight too,” Robert said. He felt like a child arguing about missing out on play time. He couldn't stop thinking about the rest of the cake in front of him. He wanted to lick the chocolate off his fingers.
“I've put on fifteen, maybe twenty pounds,” Liam said. “I'm not saying I've been great,” he admitted. “But I've cut down. That's not crazy for a year.” He paused for a while. “How much do you think you've put on?” he asked.
Robert shrugged. “Yeah, probably the same,” he said. He could feel his cheeks redden, and hoped it was dark enough that Liam couldn't see. “It's not like I weigh myself very often.”
Liam put his face in his hands and leant on the table. “I found your grommr account,” he said.
Robert squirmed in his seat. “Well what were you doing on grommr then?” He winced even as he said it.
“I've got a fat fetish,” Liam replied. “What are you doing on there?” When he got no reply, he continued. “It said you're three hundred and forty pounds.” He picked up a small fragment of the leftover destroyed cake and ate it slowly. “Is that right?”
“I guess,” Robert said.
“I don't think this is working,” Liam said.
“I know,” Robert said. “I'll do better. I'll try and lose some weight, I know I've taken it too far now, I’ll join a gym and-”
“No,” Liam cut him off. “I don't think this is working. Us. I think… I think we should break up.”
-
“You okay buddy?” Dylan asked.
Robert shrugged and took a swig of his beer. He belched. “Why wouldn't I be okay?”
Dylan sighed. “Rob, I… I mean look at yourself. This isn't okay.”
Robert scratched his beard. He'd maybe let it grow a bit too long, and he'd not had a chance to buy any clothes that fit in the past couple of months, but what was he supposed to do? He'd been busy, and it's not like he could just walk into shops and pick up his size anymore. “It's just work and stuff,” he said. “And with the move, my appearance hasn't been my top priority.”
“Yep, and I completely get that,” Dylan placated. His voice was bright and soft and his hands were spread open like he'd presumably heard in some how to handle difficult conversations podcast. “But I don't think we’re talking about just your appearance here. You have… fuck me Rob, you've gotten really fucking big.”
Robert scratched his gut and tried to pull his t-shirt down. “It's just the break-up,” he said. “And you've said it before, we've got shit genetics for getting fat.”
“Look, I'm not trying to have a go,” Dylan said. He slapped his own gut. “I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly in my prime. I don't think I've been to the gym since Livy’s been born, probably not great. Shit happens, and I get that the break-up hasn't helped, and work, and yep, absolutely, we did not win the genetic lottery in our family for twenty-eight inch waists but… I mean this isn't exactly the break-up, is it? It's been going on a lot longer than that, but at least, fuck, at least I used to think you were happy with it. Happy with Li-” Robert shot him a dirty glare. “Well, whatever, happy, anyway.”
“Who says I'm not happy?” Robert asked. He drained his beer bottle and stood to get another. When he returned he collapsed back into his seat and Dylan winced. “Yeah, I put on relationship weight with Liam too, but that wasn't, you know, that wasn't anything to do with… We just weren't, I don't know, compatible anymore. I know I'm fat, I know I’m stressed, and that I've been doing better, but I'm fine. You can drop it.”
“Look, let's…” Dylan looked around the room as if searching for something to help him. “I weighed myself the other day, eighteen stone. Not proud to be fatter than dad these days, but you know, there it is. How much are you weighing?” He looked Robert up and down. “Over twenty stone?” He hesitated. “Twenty-five?” He said it as if he couldn't believe anyone could weigh so much.
Robert shrugged. “Twenty-seven maybe.” He actually thought it might be a bit more.
“Jesus fucking Christ Robby,” Dylan exclaimed. “No, sorry, I don't mean- that's not, you know, it's fine, bodies come in all different- but fucking hell Rob that's… Twenty seven stone!” he cried. “That's not just relationship weight, is it? That's not break-up weight or stress weight or shit genetics that’s…” He took a deep breath and clasped his knee. “Do you like it?”
Robert stared at him. “Like what?”
“Look, no judgement,” Dylan said. “Vanessa says she likes, you know,” he shook his own gut for emphasis. “The belly. She even feeds me up a bit sometimes, I think, and I'm not exactly turning down bigger portions. I know it's a thing. I even get it a bit. But, I mean Rob. You can tell me.” He reached out and grasped Robert's knee. “Is it intentional? Even just a little bit? At least if, fuck, if I knew you were doing it on purpose, that you liked how fucking big you'd gotten I could… I could stop worrying about you fucking losing it. Like, I'm going to worry about your heart giving way, yeah, fine, but I can't be dealing with worrying about you being depressed or needing help and… And if something happened and I'd not done anything. Not after mum.” He started fidgeting with his collar, a nervous habit he'd had since school.
“Yeah,” Robert said quietly. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I'm into it. It's been, you know, on purpose. Mostly. You don't have to worry about that stuff. I'm not going to, you know.”
“Thank fuck,” Dylan sighed. “I mean, not thank fuck. It's still pretty fucking weird if I'm being honest, but I'm glad that you're, I don't know, not happy I guess, I know you've got other, whatever. I'm glad this isn't some insane compulsive episode or… I mean I've been imagining loads of stuff.” He downed his beer and breathed shakily. “So Liam was into it too? That's how you two met? Some freaky gay kink club?”
“What? No. Fuck off,” Robert said laughing. “Liam was into it, yeah, but he uhh, well he actually introduced me to it. I went along with it for a bit and then… I don't know, at some point I started liking it.”
Dylan nodded. “I get it. Like, I know I'm not supposed to be liking how fat I've gotten but there's something about it, I guess,” he said. “So what happened with you and Liam? You realised you only had the fat thing in common?”
Robert sighed. “No, we were… fuck. We were fairly perfect for each other. He got, I don't know, jealous about how big I was…” He took a drink and closed his eyes. “No. It wasn't just him. I turned into a knobhead about it.”
“Turned into a knobhead?” Dylan asked with a laugh.
“Oh fuck off,” Robert said. “I got, I don't know. There was a lot going on. I felt like I was doing this huge thing for him, but then I started to like it, and… At some point I managed to make it all about me. And if I pretended I still didn't like it I could still make out I was making this noble sacrifice, but really I was just completely ignoring him. And I think, you know, he did get pretty jealous at one point, but I didn't help. Made it into this weird competition.”
“Well you've got me beat at least,” Dylan said. He reached over to pat Robert's arm. “Here, I've got to go to town tomorrow. I'm not exactly fitting into my work shirts myself these days, how about we go together? Get you some stuff that actually covers that gut.”
“Fuck off,” Robert said, laughing.
“No, I'm serious, Vanessa's actually said she won't let you back round if you're not covered up again,” Dylan said. “You're scaring Livy. And the dog. Come on, we’ll make a day of it.”
“You do know I can't exactly just pop into Marks and Sparks and pick up a jumper, don't you? Most places stop at three XL if you're lucky.”
“No, come on,” Dylan insisted. “There's that plus size place in the Arndale, and Go Outdoors has a sale on, they'll have a tent that'll fit you.”
“Oh fuck off!” Robert laughed. “Yeah, go on then, I'll come along.” He drained his beer bottle. “Thanks, Dyl. Seriously. This has been… It's been good.”
Dylan shrugged. “What am I here for, eh? I'm just sorry I didn't mention it ten fucking stone ago.”
-
Robert huffed as he found his seat and squeezed himself into it. He hated how cinemas made you pay extra for supposedly premium seats, only for them to still not be big enough. He settled himself in, sorting his collection of drinks and snacks.
“Robert? Is that you?” Robert looked up to see a man significantly smaller than him, but still undeniably fat.
“Liam?” he replied.
“Oh god,” Liam said. “I’ll find another seat, don't worry, it doesn't matter.”
Robert patted the seat next to him. “Don't be silly,” he insisted. “It'll be nice to catch up during the trailers. Besides,” he looked around at the rapidly filling seats around them. “It's the opening weekend of Paddington vs Barbie 2: Paddington's Revenge, I'm not sure there’ll be any spare seats to move to.”
Liam looked around, sighed and sat down.
“You here with anyone?” Robert asked.
Liam shook his head. “The first one went right over my head the first time I watched it, I decided to come without any distractions.”
“Same,” Robert agreed. “And after it won all those Oscars I knew I should come see this one quick before anyone spoiled it for me.” He surveyed Liam for a bit. “How've you been, anyway?”
Liam smiled. “Good, yeah. Lots of the same, you know,” he said. “Not much to report.” He hesitated for a moment. “Still very much on the gain train.”
“I noticed!” Robert laughed. He reached over and poked Liam's gut where it spilled out over his belt. “How much are you clocking in at these days?”
“Two-seventy,” he said proudly. “I'm wanting to put a bit of a push on before Christmas, get over twenty stone, maybe.”
“Nice!” Robert said, slapping Liam's side. “Well, it suits you. Always did.”
“How about you?” Liam asked. “I noticed you've lost all the weight I forced onto you.”
Robert laughed and shook his own gut that spilled out towards his knees. “Yeah, I couldn't stand it, you know, who'd be fat?” he joked. “I'm about four-seventy, maybe four-eighty these days.”
Liam whistled. “Wow,” he said. “That's incredible. Like, I thought I was fat but you're another two hundred pounds on top of that.”
“You are fat,” Robert said warmly. “I'm just a lot fatter.”
“A whole decently chubby person fatter, in fact,” Liam pointed out.
“I like that,” Robert said laughing; his whole body shook with the action. “You know, I eventually admitted to myself that I probably am a gainer after all.”
“Probably a gainer, wow,” Liam said. “That must have been a difficult conclusion to come to.” He put a finger underneath one of Robert’s moobs and lifted it before letting it drop and watching the ripples spread across the larger man's body.
“Yeah, well, you know, a pretty great guy introduced me to the whole thing,” Robert said.
Liam smiled sadly. “So have you been seeing anyone or…?”
“Not really,” Robert replied. “I meet up with some feeders occasionally but, they're not, you know. It's not the same.”
“No, I know what you mean,” Liam agreed.
“So are you?” Robert asked. “Seeing anyone or anything?”
Liam shook his head. “Some dates and umm… no. No. Not seeing anyone.”
“I'm sorry,” Robert said. “For everything. For… I got selfish. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I turned it into this selfish fucking…”
“I'm sorry too,” Liam said. “It wasn't just you. I asked you to do it for me then didn't like it when it turned out you actually enjoyed it, which is pretty fucked up of me. We could have talked about it more. Properly I mean.” He looked around. “Listen, all these people listening in are clearly finding our conversation very fucking weird, and I can't really be bothered with all this art-house stuff anyway. Do you want to just go get something to eat?”
Robert looked down the full row. “Getting out might be a bit of an ordeal. I'm not really built for squeezing past people these days,” he said.
“Sounds hot,” Liam replied. “You in?”
Robert laughed. “Yeah, okay. Dinner sounds nice.”
-
Liam licked the last of the chocolate off of his fingers as Robert lapped up his cum.
“Happy three hundred pounds babes,” Robert said as he leant up.
Liam struggled to sit up. “Your turn now,” he said.
Robert shook his head. “This is your night. Big celebration,” he said. “You don't have to do anything.”
“I want to,” Liam insisted. “Besides, we've got a whole other cake and I’m stuffed.”
“Oh I'll eat the cake,” Robert said. “But you don't have to suck me off.
“You're sure?” Liam asked.
Robert smiled. “It's fine, you take a nap to digest everything, I'll go clean up,” he said. “As long as you're happy, I'm happy.”
#gaining fiction#gainer fiction#weight gain#gainer story#weight gain story#male weight gain#it takes two
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On Rob's Good Omens sweaters...
Bluesky has some photos of Rob Wilkins wearing these two holiday sweaters:
At the first glance you go "awww, how perfect, I need those sweaters!" but then you're like "hold on a second!"
For the sake of this meta, I'm going to assume the designs are deliberate, and not just idk cheap fakes ordered from temu lol.
Let's start with stating the obvious. The red sweater has the characters' roles reversed - Crawly is sheltering Aziraphale. It's not a "book thing" either - there, Aziraphale held his own wings above himself. This is a minor detail, but Crawly's stance is also different than in the show - his legs are apart, in a position indicating strength, confidence, and protection. Meanwhile, the blue sweater has what looks like angel!Crowley sheltering a black-haired fallen angel. My first thought was that is could be Satan and this might be a hint that we're going to see Crowley's fall after all. But now I think different.
Regarding the red sweater in particular, my thoughts immediately wandered towards the multiple Edens theory and the two Crowleys theory. Just to quickly recap: discrepancies in the details on the walls of Eden have been spotted, and at one point someone from the crew mentioned that there were "many Edens" in existence (possibly testing grounds before the real one? Or several different enclosures for the first breeding pairs? We never found out). As for Crowley - many people have noticed differences in his looks throughout season 2. Most notably, his sideburns have differing length and it shifts within the same scene, e.g. the sideburns are long in the pub, but short when he leaves the pub; they are short during the "exactlys" argument, but long when Crowley snatches his sunglasses while storming out of the bookshop. Bildad the Shuhite also has two different hairstyle (one is shorter, more evenly cut and carefully combed, whereas the other is longer and a bit more "windswept"). There's also the matter of different camera filters, which is a commonly used technique to show different worlds (think Supernatural, and I think also some MCU films?), and the disappearing props.
So, taking the sweaters into consideration, could the world of Good Omens be comprised of multiple realities? The novel is one. Season 1 is another. Season 2 shows TWO (!), which are almost identical. Who knows, perhaps the Crowley with the short sideburns managed to sway Aziraphale in the Final Fifteen, or even changed his mind and hopped on the lift at the last moment? What if, presented on the sweaters are two more? On, in which it was Crawly offering shelfter to Aziraphale, and another one in which it was Aziraphale who fell (and his hair blackened in the process). Perhaps there are versions of this (sorry, couldn't resist!) in which they both fell, neither did, or they were an established couple by season 1?
It this were to prove true in the movie, it will have some pros, of course. Firstly, it would legitimise virtually all headcanons you might have (I was a little upset when s2 finale made it clear they weren't secretly a couple before). It would also boost creativity for all the reverse!Omens fic writers. And, of course, it would explain many things fans have noticed, especially about s2.
However, other than that, I don't think I like it that much. Above all, I simply dislike multiverse - I find them often too convenient narratively, while also needlessly convoluted. But aside from that, I wouldn't be happy to see that particular take in the movie. If we were getting out 6 episodes, it would be fun to watch particular scenes and increasingly go "huh?" as we spot consecutive discrepancies and minor details that don't work. And by the time it was revealed it would feel really rewarding that you have spotted the details, even if you failed to work it all out. Within mere 90 minutes… it just doesn't feel like enough time to drop enough hints, or, alternatively, the movie would be oversaturated with them. Finally, it would mean less screentime for the mercilessly truncated Aziracrow reconcilliation arc (which I am still grieving over), as instead we would receive glimpses of different universes, while still navigating the complex Second Coming plotline. Also, what would be the endgame? All the Aziraphales and Crowleys combining their forces to beat heaven and hell/the new christ/god herself? That's a bit too Marvel if you ask me, and with all my reservations about the movie, I rather trust Narrativia to offer us something much more original.
#good omens#good omens 3#good omens movie#yes I hate that we're only getting 90 minutes sue me#good omens movie theory#rob wilkins#good omens meta
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So I have some thoughts on the Wicked movie (from a Jewish perspective) and as a note, the last time I saw it was the theatre version back and was in November 2023 so these have been BREWING. I'll put them below a cut for spoilers but I can't imagine I'm saying anything not in St stage show!
The one that really strikes me, is the transition during the Oz Dust Ballroom as Glinda, for the first time, sees the world as it is for Elphaba. Cruel, heartless, deliberately provocative and twisted to ensure she is never in the right. And she sees her place in all of that (admittedly, Glinda is the reason for this at Shiz but like not for the rest of Elphaba's life) and it made me think very strongly about my non Jewish friends who have seen the antisemitism skyrocket in the last year and have not been able to unsee what's happened. The moment the rose tinted spectacles are removed and shattered, unable to ever be returned.
Obviously the whole dehumanisation of Elphaba - "it's shown on her skin" etc - is directly relatable to "normal" (for lack of a better term) racism but also things like people saying Jews have horns, calling us the synagogue of satan etc. And of course the links between depictions of witches and how Jews are depicted with boney gnarled bodies, hooked noses etc are kinda clear.
The whole witch hunters storyline which is coming is very pogrom-core too but I'll do that one next year with part two lol
I have other thoughts which I need to work out how I put into words but I will add them as and when!
To be clear though, I fucking loved the film and I will be watching it again.
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Rewatched Dead Men Tell No Tales/Salazar's Revenge today and boy, was it a disappointment. Absolute low point of the franchise. Genuinely surprised that the original writers were involved.
On Stranger Tides shows a much softer side of Jack but it's still pretty consistent with the choices he made in the original trilogy, and he has quite a lot of agency in the plot. The film lacks the clever cinematography of the original trilogy but it's still pleasant to watch. The night combat scenes are clearly lit, even if the combat itself isn't as gripping. The plot is weak, but entertaining enough. Not as good as the first three, but not bad.
Dead Men Tell No Tales is just awful. For one thing, it isn't even consistent with the previous films in terms of lore. The trilogy establishes, in DMC, that Jack bartered the compass from Tia Dalma. Here, in a flashback, he gets it from his old captain on the Wicked Wench while fighting Salazar?
Also, there is no damn reason for Will to even be cursed, which is what kicks off the plot. The only reason Davy Jones and crew were fish people was that he neglected his duty of ferrying souls. Will knows this. He knows the cost. He wants to be with Elizabeth every ten years. He would not neglect his duty. There is no inherent turning-into-a-monster curse tied into his role as captain of the Dutchman, and at the end of At World's End we see him returning after ten years, looking perfectly human and normal. Why would he suddenly be cursed after that?
Jack has literally no agency in this film. He achieves nothing and makes no difference to the plot! Henry is the one executing the daring rescue. Carina navigates. Barbossa does the double-crossing and also captains the Pearl. Jack has a fight with Salazar at some point but it's at night, poorly lit, and again achieves very little. Nothing has changed at the end of their fight. None of those clever acrobatics that cripple his pursuers we saw in previous films. The flashback to young Jack was cool, I guess. But his total lack of care when he thinks the Black Pearl has sunk is horrifically out of character.
Again, at the end, he's just sort of... there. He is an object for Salazar to pursue, a distraction while Henry and Carina achieve their objectives and Barbossa redeems himself.
Barbossa has a nice arc, though I think the daughter twist is rushed in order to make us feel sadder when he sacrifices himself. And I quite like Carina. There's clearly been an attempt to place Henry and Carina in the places of Will and Elizabeth, and they've tried to make Carina feisty and driven but in a different direction than Elizabeth, which I appreciate. She and Henry fall for each other very fast, though.
Also, I hate that Elizabeth is apparently dressed nicely and sitting pretty in her beach house, waiting and doing nothing. If she knew that Will was cursed, why would she not be out there doing everything she can to save him? She's the freaking Pirate King. She could not be held back in the trilogy. She's not old, either - she was fairly young when she had Henry, and Henry is clearly old enough to fend for himself now. They could have gone looking for ways to save Will together.
In many ways Dead Men Tell No Tales is just Dead Man's Chest disappointingly remixed - undead crew on a destructive cursed ship with special abilities, led by a captain who can't step on land and has a grudge against Jack Sparrow, controlling horrid sea creatures. A POC witch embodying all sorts of racist caricatures. A Turner seeking a way to free his cursed father, and in love with a feisty girl. Everyone searching for a magical McGuffin that will give them control or mastery of the seas, and they need Jack's compass for it.
It's especially egregiously disappointing after how good the original trilogy was. The plot in those certainly wasn't perfect, but it was tight enough and fast-paced and entertaining enough that you didn't care. The stakes were high, the villains were chilling, and the protagonists were cheekily morally ambiguous in their swashbuckling. The cinematography was stunning. The only real good things about this instalment were the music (which was reused from the previous films) and seeing Will and Elizabeth again.
Comments on Pirates of the Caribbean
So, I rewatch the first one after years bc I was sick by the Johnny Depp bullshit and through his presence would ruin the movie for me, thankfully, it didn't.
- Why don't they make blockbusters like this anymore? The scale of the production, everything feels so real, so damn good. They only used CGI when they needed it.
-Now I noticed that Elizabeth, Will and Jack have "friendship" matching scars, as all the three of them have a long cut on the palm of their hand.
-When Barbossa is about to cut Elizabeth, thinking her blood is the one they needed, instead of cutting her throat (something that was expected of him) he just cut her hand and when even Elizabeth looked confused at him, he says "waste not"
At first I thought that he was being nice, like there's no need to kill her, and this being a Disney movie really makes me think that. But now I get it, he wasn't being nice, he was being a nightmare as he only didn't kill her bc he was planning on SA her as soon as the curse was off. That's dark.
And it's weirdly nice to see how their relationship goes from this nightmare, to Barbossa not only actually respecting and acknowledge Elizabeth as one of them, but also with Elizabeth asking him to marry her with Will. It's like they became buddies at the end, almost lol
-People often praise only Johnny Depp for the success of the trilogy, and yes, he was good I got to admit but he wasn't the sole reason of the movies success. The proof of that is that after Worlds End, the movies went down in quality and will not pretend that the writing and production didn't go down either but the thing is that the characters also were not near as charming, charismatic and just as good as Elizabeth, Will, Barbossa, Davy Jones the crew guys...Jack Sparrow is good but he needs good company to truly shine. And the chemistry they all had towards each other plays a big part in the trilogy success. Jack Sparrow is amazing, but only when he isn't the protagonist.
Edit 1: I've saw the second and third ones again today and damn Hans Zimmer was inspired, the Davy Jones theme is the Best villain theme song (sorry Darth Vader)
At world's end, who also is the Will and Elizabeth theme(with some minor changes) is so good. It's not only good, it's a masterpiece. One of my fav original movie songs ever.
-Elizabeth arc is so well done. From damsel in distress, to pirate, to pirate queen. And it was natural, didn't feel forced at all. Even when she was damsel in distress, she wasn't helpless. In the first movie, after the ship battle, she launched herself at Barbossa , to punch in bc she thought Will was gone. She was always fierce.
And now in the second and third movie when she already knew how to fight...she became a menace.
-And Elizabeth lost her dad, her friend and the love of her life in like, just a few days. Damn. And all of the men she kissed, died lol. Jack, Norrington, Sao Feng and Will, and they all die right after kissing her. I bet she has some sort of "black widow" reputation among the sailors
-Jack really cared for both Elizabeth and Will, and we can see it in the scene when he told Elizabeth that her father was gone and when Davy Jones killed Will. And it makes sense cuz Jack was important in their journey from day one, and he saw their growth from naive young adults to pirates.
-Without a doubt, one of the best trilogies we have.
#Pirates of the Caribbean#Elizabeth Swann#William Turner#Captain Jack Sparrow#Captain Hector Barbossa#Carina Barbossa#Henry Turner#Armando Salazar#Dead Men Tell No Tales#Salazar's Revenge
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watched saltburn and really fucking liked it actually. day 5937 of realising people on tiktok are just cowards
#‘IT’S SO WEIRD’ do you think that was like. an accident. do you not think it’s supposed to be weird and unsettling and a little ridiculous#and the way it’s FILMED godddd the scenes were all so well shot#I’ll admit I spent the first hour not impressed at all bc I thought it was a really stale class take#like the moment I saw they were oxford students my face was just 😐😐😐#AND THEN I was kinda getting into it but thought they were gonna make the only working class kid the villain so I was still 😐😐😐#BUT THEN. BUT. THEN#I need to rewatch with full context so I can appreciate it properly#watching edits of it on tiktok like im gonna skip all the coquette vids romanticising the lifestyle but my GOD have some people popped off#w the creepy/obsessive audios. the people who get it truly get it#him in the maze with the antlers. real as fuck#just for people to be like ‘am i the only one who couldn’t finish it 😰’ SORRY YOU HATE FREAKISH MEDIA#saltburn
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HAPPY (slightly belated) HALlOWEEN!!
HAVE SOME CORALINE FANART
#watched Coraline for the first time just before Halloween#so I thought that I should make some fanart for it!#first drawing that I used a gradient map on too!#was fun to experiment with#but I think I need to streamline the process a bit more cause I was *struggling*#derpiedoxie#coraline#coraline fanart#coraline art#coraline cat#coraline film#digital artwork#digital art#digital fanart#art#fanart
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I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.
#I CANT STAND THE CONFUSION IN MY MIND#also i get why people wrote wanda/sylvie. they should go on a wholesome chick-flick revenge-quest together. and also they should kiss.#also i am now only *half* joking about thor being in love with mjolnir#it kept doing Christianity Bits which was quite awks.#not sure why it used the bit about building the church on a rock for some metal i mean wasn't jesus making a pun there? about peter?#i think Vision might be Jesus? or else he's Dr Manhattan who's done a first year philosophy course. could go either way on that tbh.#BUT TONY WAS THE BADDY RIGHT? WAS HE? WAS TONY THE BADDY OR NOT????#with the homocidal glitches in what he thinks is his winning personality?#and all the weapons he's made and is in fact still making but now he only sells them to The Good Guys?#except look how easily they fall out with each other and also don't a lot of innocent bystanders die in their overly long action scenes?#also i need to write fic about whether mjolnir does in fact obey some unknown code that can be cracked if you set your mind to it#she does like Robot Jesus so apparently we can rely on her to make the major decisions from now on#the ending's a bit ominous - apparently someone's collecting those TVA paperweights to do... something? Oh no! :O#yeah i watched the MCU in the wrong order shut up this was inevitable and Marvisney should just embrace that at this point#(i know 'Marvisney' will never catch on but that will not stop me using it)#the loki series ending is but the latest installment of “unlimited power with no oversight is fine as long as the Good people have it”#UNLESS TONY WAS ACTUALLY THE BADDY. WHICH AS I MENTIONED I AM NOT AT ALL CLEAR ON.#maybe what i mean is was tony stark the baddy *on purpose*?#i only picked this one to watch next because tumblr gifsets told me thor wears a nice coat in it#which he does! but only for a small fraction of the film :(#journey into the mcu#the avengers (the marvel ones not the other ones)
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A Biltmore Christmas may be the first Hallmark movie to drive me to fanfic.
#hallmark#a biltmore christmas#time travel#WHERE IS MY POST-CREDITS SCENE SHOWING HOW MARGARET REACTS???#she was one of the best parts of the movie!#you need at least five minutes of her screaming for joy!#also clearly there was a conspiracy of people in the past who knew about the time travel thing so how did that work?#what about that bearded guy on the crew who was CLEARLY another time traveler?#(there is no way that facial hair came from 1947)#also where does the relationship go from there?#how do you adjust?#does tour guide riker help out?#so many unanswered questions can fit into the last scenes of that film and i need answers#also just overall: thanks to people who said this one was worth seeking out because my goodness what a delight#that movie oozed charm#i think maybe my true core fictional love is classic '30s/'40s film because i was digging that vibe#the banter! the patter! the zingers! the perfect blend of cynicism and sentimentality#some of the background stuff was too modern but also some was spot on#that guy who played claude looks like he was born to be a classic Hollywood film star#the leading lady did not fit the vibe at all but she had great chemistry with the movie's leads so i can see why they cast her#the old-timey writer dude was charming#the main lady might be a new favorite hallmark actress (there's only one other on the list)#(watched part of a different film with her in it and she seems to put some of that classic hollywood sass into her roles)#i wasn't sold on the male lead at first but the writing came through for him#when he sits in the chair behind her! when he's trying to guess her personality traits?#charming and absolutely spot-on for the vibe#(the fact that they cast hallmark regulars in the remake is hilarious and also sad because it looks so much worse than the original)#anyway great time had a blast will definitely be rewatching
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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none of my family or friends want to watch out 1 with me and im like “why it’s such a good movie” but then i realize it’s a 13 hour very slow paced 1970s french movie celebrating the theatre arts and also a mystery and a very compelling narrative and i just happen to be autistic
@smolsassygay EVER SINCE TELLING YOU ABOUT THIS FILM ITS BEEN ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ANYMORE
#out 1#this film is a MASTERPIECE#it should be Law all people should watch it#as my favorite letterboxd review says “not long enough we need an out 2”#also the fashion is beyond iconic#i mean look at my blog name i love jacques rivette films#duelle and la belle noiseuse are some other (shorter) good ones he directed#he got a good group of actors you see in most of his films#dear mutuals at least watch the first hour of this movie#i watched it was i was like 15 and fangirled and i will do it all over again#i think there’s a shortened one out there?#but i watched it and they cut out most of marie’s plot???#which is frustrating because i love her character and i am a hermine karagheuz enthusiast
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old man yells at cloud about constant sequels
#i wantttttt to like the beetlejuice sequel (just saw the trailer) and i don't want to be a hater. however#i dont knowwwww i mean theres a lot of callbacks to the original. which is good. its just#maybe its seeing some of these same effects done in cgi. or something#like it just looks like every other modern movie except w some of that beetlejuice imagery#im assuming the sandworms are cgi. bring back the claymationnnn bring back practical effectssss#idk im just really getting to hate the way movies nowadays look that are likely shot digitally and are just so subdued color wise#is any of this making sense.#like thinking of the original beetlejuice like whoa the colors were popping! greens reds purples!#and theyre so important and tied to the look of the movie and how it sticks in your mind#(im sorry. beetlejuice has always been one of my favorite movies. but anyway)#and now the sequel just looks ehhhh. you know#also we still should have had beetlejuice goes hawaiian instead. if we had to have a sequel#plus the story of the sequel seems so dependent on the story of the first movie like is there going to be anything original?#what made the first movie so good was not only was it a fun different storyline of these ghosts and everything#but it was also a good satire of the yuppies of that era as well as the idea of the afterlife and ghosts and all that. which was different!#im probably not making all of my points clearly and this doesnt really matter anyway but anyway#i need movies to be standalone movies. i dont want everything to be part of a series#i dont want beetlejuice to be called beetlejuice 1#bc then ill be saying 'back in my day we had only one beetlejuice'#LIKE. yes some movies are really good and you could watch a whole tv show more with the characters in that movie#but it doesnt actually have to be made. thats for you to imagine in your mind#like wow i love those characters in beetlejuice. i wonder what it would be like going forward for these people to live with ghosts#but thats for you and your imagination!!!! ugh i dont know is any of this making sense i ask again. i keep trying to wrap up this post#but im very passionate about films and as i think about my own main movie idea/screenplay#i love my characters and i could put them in dozens of scenarios that would be very funny for them to deal with#but i dont think they need a five film series. the one movie is enough for the main storyline#ok im going to eat something. enough bitching from me about the current state of film
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Can't believe I spent so much time thinking kiku and kinemon were dead... they really got me there...
#damn izo...... can we get back to that i do not care that much about raizo and this guy...#AND WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD??? damn the reverie..... and sabo#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1063#also the thing i said episodes ago about kaido being luffys foil because he loves fighting and they smile all the time... and then we get#king saying he thinks he is joyboy bc he saved him.... but the difference of those new worlds they imagine and how kaido wants to die and#luffy the complete opposite.... yeah yeah#toko..... and this swordmaker man just adopting little girls... he is the father that stepped up (multipile times)#kaido just having a drink.... he is just having some fun... fighting and drinking... average friday night for him... thats his love language#it is his love language... he said he just accepted him aldjsks i was just saying shit... see he is just having some fun witj his peer#luffy was so confused with all this he got hit akdhsks first person ever to bamboozle him.....#drunk kadio is so fun to watch.... crying about his son escaping and how everything goes wrong ajdkskskk#his impulsivity and like unpredictability just make him better while drunk akdhsksjk luffy should try shrooms if thats what he prefers....#what devil fruit???? also get robin's name out of your mouth!!!!!! OH ZOU!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE#IT'S LUFFYS DEVIL FRUIT.... WHICH HAS ANOTHER NAME....... WONDER WHY HMMM...🤔🤔#also kaido saying luffy likes him too much.... that's another secret fruit JAHSJAHA#episode 1064#zoro just bleeding out on the floor... nvm he died... well... there are other swordsmen.... this looks like an impressionist film#zoro doesnt get it... he is powerless against death....#IZO NOOO!!!! HE GOT STABBED!!! jesus.... MARCO HELP!!! MARCOOOO WHAT IS HE DOING#THE FUCKING CP0 NO!!! WHAT??? well i respect that decision... leave him alone get a job etc. NOOOOO YOU WON'T WIN!!!#do not make a deal with them either... izo.....#love how traffy and kid have each one (1) woman on their crew. its not ooking good on the diversity office#mugiwara no chibi.... exacty..... also how is big mom tired... i mean i get it but damn.... LAW GOT HER!!! YEAAHHH!!! FINISH HER!!!#law needs to cut her to pieces like he did with that guy.... come on.... punk corna DIO??? omg its a bull.... BUT IMPALE HER!!!#well i see progress now at least.... but until kid magnetos her ass idk... law needs to start cutting also.......#episode 1065
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Yelena hearing Natasha tell her not to spike the engine, looking at Natasha with love and regret and then doing what she has to do.
Natasha seeing Taskmaster approaching fast, looking at Yelena with love and regret and then doing what she has to do.
Natasha, letting go, falling to save Yelena.
Natasha, letting go, falling to save everyone.
#this post brought to you by the idea that the look on yelena's face when natasha let go of the parachute#would be the same if yelena had been on vormir instead of clint#“she loved you and always wanted you safe”#yelena already knows because natasha's done this before#yelena may be angry that natasha sacrificed herself but yelena tried to do it first#between watching the hawkeye show and the black widow movie and all the bishova fanfic i've been reading#seeing how broken yelena is by natasha's death#this makes me so retroactively bitter about how natasha was mishandled in the mcu#i shouldn't need 7 hours of additional film/tv and supplemental fanworks to give a shit about a character that was in 7 fucking MCU movies#i dunno maybe that says something about me#that i'm only sad about natasha now because yelena is sad about natasha#but i think it's more likely a failure of storytelling on their part#i felt plenty sad about loki (both times) and peter and coulson and hell even yondu and they had way less screentime#anyhoo#this kinda got away from me#basically just wanted to point out some similarities and wallow in my natasha and yelena feels a bit#black widow#avengers: endgame#natasha romanoff#yelena belova#parallels
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I forgot to mention that I saw the trailer for the new the The Hunger Games movie when I went and saw Blue Beetle (the prequel, you know?) and it does look really good (even though at first I was unsure about it). I'm probably for sure going to see it when it comes out. Though this will be the first time that I haven't read the book first... unless I do end up reading the book between now and then.
#friends how do we feel about the 'the ballad of songbirds and snakes' novel?#because for me personally. and a lot of people i know... i honestly preferred the hunger games movies more than the books (even though you#have to love and appreciate the books. of course. because without them there would be no films)#is it the same with the prequel?#though i also know that many fans prefer the books and hate the movies: thinking the movies left out too much and that kind of thing#but yeah. since i DID prefer the movies. and think there's a good chance it might be the same way again. i'm thinking i might just watch th#movie first or maybe not even read the book at all#even though i'm usually of the mind of always reading the book. of course. and usually first#i think my reasons for preferring the movies are as follows... i really hated katniss in the books. i'm sorry. but i did. but seeing her#brought to life with the way jennifer lawrence played her really made me love her#also. people complain about some things the movies left out. and i definitely get that. to each their own#but i personally love the things the movies ADDED! that we didn't get to see since we're stuck in katniss' pov. that i think just bettered#the stories so much#and some (surely not all) of the things that were left out that people complained about i feel like aren't THAT needed?#like they didn't explain the avoxes#but i also feel like if you're smart you can clearly figure out what the capitol did to them#idk. this is just my opinion of course. anyone is free to disagree#but i say all as this as someone who isn't SUPER into the hunger games#i only read the books once. years ago. and i haven't seen the movies in a while. so i'm sure there are things i may have forgotten and migh#be getting wrong here#oh! another thing too is that i've seen people mention that they felt like suzanne collins' writing style with thg is almost script-like.#even though it's not a script of course#and that that might be another reason that i. and so many others prefer them as movies#because it was almost like she was writing the books TO be made into movies
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Guys, my supervisor is so cool!
#i found her thesis bc i need to look at her bibliography#and aaahhh the topic is so interesting#i wanna sit and read it so badly#but first i need to watch some of the films i think ...#and like...maybe finish my dissertation first#esp since film...i dont wanna be influenced even tho we have super different topics#but omggg i wanna read it so badly!!#also shout out to jstor who is in her bibliography#asra vs uni#asra talks
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no fr patty, bash and taj all had something going on amongst them in Fighter
hrithik playing vague bisexuals, always here for it
worse part is they even shoved him partially back in the closet. he was more bi in War than he was here and yet i bend down to lick up the crumbs and savor what could have been OT4 fix-it fic when
#inbox#q: eph-em-era#film: fighter (2024)#fighter#fighter 2024#hrithik roshan#akshay oberoi#karan singh grover#bollywood#local gay watches Bollywood.txt#local gay watches Fighter (2024) bc fuck it they need some bisexuality on their screen.txt#i need to recover emotionally first before i even think of tackling a drabble. i need to stew in my disappointment and write an email#to Anand pointing out all the ways this could have veered away from the trash bin
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