#but felt like I needed to check at least one task off of the chores list
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Woo did at least one productive thing today and finished submitting my taxes
#was a very lazy Saturday I just napped on and off most of the day#but felt like I needed to check at least one task off of the chores list#and actually was pleasantly surprised at the refund I'm getting too#i was expecting to owe money with the addition of my OF earnings but even with that added I stillgot a decent amount back#mostly because the state is doing a nice kickback#might be able to finally pay off my credit cards in the next month or so now 😊#which have not been fully paid off since right before covid first hit#sooooo approximately 4 years#and that time they had barely been paid off for a month or two before the pandemic shit hit the fan#and before then the last time everything was paid off I still lived in California lol
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A Little Visit - Sam (Stardew Valley) x GN Reader
wk - 1.6k
Blurb - Poor farmer hasn’t had a lot of motivation to do… anything really. A certain blonde skater wanted to check up on them.
Sam is such a cutie and he’s all over my tiktok right now so, first fic had to be him <3
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You hadn’t written a letter to your parents in a while. Your mom made sure to write often and your dad often put little messages into her letters for you. The motivation to get up to a desk or table never really hit, at least that was at the start.
No motivation to write a letter moved to no motivation to plant any seeds for the season and when it hit the 11th day of summer, you had no motivation to get up and go to the Luau. Spending all day in bed, only getting up to go to the bathroom or get something to eat, felt better than having to get up and ready for the day. If someone of Pelican Town were to ask why you have been hiding away in your little home on the farm, you wouldn’t have much of an answer for them, a shrug of your shoulders at most. As much as it sucks for you to not have an answer, it’s just the way it’s always been. Periods of time where even the simplest of tasks would be so difficult for you, where even simply getting out of bed is such a chore that you can hardly achieve it.
‘Maybe that’s why my parents have been sending me letters more often.’ They probably realise that you’re in one of your… moods.
However, your mopping around was interrupted by a knock on the door. Debating on whether you actually wanted to get up and answer, the knock progressively got louder until you flung the blanket off you and waddled your way over. You didn’t know what you were expecting but it definitely wasn’t the blonde hair boy you’ve been crushing on practically since you’ve come to pelican town.
Sam stood at your door, a sheepish smile on his face scratching the back of his neck.
“Hey.”
You quickly shut the door in his face. You knew you looked a mess; in the same clothes you’ve been sleeping in for… who knows how many days. Your hair greasy and messy from doing nothing except lying in bed in the heat. He couldn’t see you like this and oh god, the farm. You haven’t been out to tidy the farm in a while and your lack of crops must have been a pathetic sight.
“Um… you okay?”
But that’s also when you realise you can’t just leave Sam standing outside. He was obviously here for a reason, one of which you weren’t even willing to hear him out on before rudely slamming a door in his face. So after a few seconds of peptalk and mentally preparing for socialising, you opened the door once again.
“Sorry bout’ that. Um, ignore the appearance, I… haven’t got ready today?”
It sounded a lot more like you were trying to convince yourself than him, but Sam didn’t point it out, he just smiled. The same cute grin he always has on his face, the one that brought butterflies to your stomach and made your heart skip a beat. It was a weird thing to think about, the fact that whether you’re fully presentably or looking the messiest, he still has the same look in his eyes.
“Ha, no problem! I just thought I would swing by, see how things are.”
Oh. Well, guess he must have noticed you haven’t been out much.
You pushed open your door to allow him to come in and offered him a Joja Cola (knowing he liked them) all the while getting yourself a drink and trying to make yourself look at least a little more presentable. After grabbing drinks, you both take a seat at the small table. Sam looked around, feeling a bit awkward with what to do. He’s come over to the farmers house but doesn’t really know what to do now. ‘Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve not left your house in like 11 days? What’s up with that? Also, I lowkey miss our chats and you so where have you been?’ wouldn’t really be the way to go about this all.
“So is everything okay? Did you need something?”
No time for him to think though, Sam looked at you with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Uh, yeah- no. But…”
He took a second, taking a sip of his Joja Cola and putting the can down, looking at his hands for a second before looking back at you with a face of concern.
“I don’t want to be nosey or be pushing you in anyway, but I’ve noticed you’ve not really been, out? You weren’t at the Luau either. I just… I don’t know, I was worried for you. You’re always about the town, it’s weird not seeing you around anymore.”
You stare at Sam for a second, processing what he just said. You never really realised that other people would care, or even realise that you weren’t up and about. You really didn’t really know what to say, only having it in you to look at him with a frown on your face.
“Obviously, if you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine! But, I’ve got no plans today and I’m not at work so if you’re wanting some company?”
Sam smiles, the same stupid grin on his face and you can’t help the small smile on yours as tears well up in your eyes.
“Sam, I- You’re too sweet.”
Pink rushes to Sam’s checks and he waves one of his hands in the air.
“Hey! What friend would I be if I left you in here all alone.”
You shuffle a bit in your seat and look down at your hands, knowing that Sam was still waiting for an answer to his original question (are you okay?). You’ve never really opened up too many people before, only your mom and dad knowing about your problems, it’s hard for you to be honest. But, Sam sits, a small reassuring smile on his face, one hand holding his can of Joja Cola, and his other being used as a head rest. His eyes held no judgment, and he gave no indication that you were in a rush. He was willing to sit there for as long as you needed.
“I don’t know, I just… I always have periods where I just, lose all my motivation. It sounds stupid I know.”
Sam shakes his head and goes to butt in; however, you don’t let him. If you don’t get it all out now you don’t think you’ll be able to push yourself to get it out later.
“And I know it’s not that simple. I can’t just stop being a functioning human being but its’s so, so hard. I can hardly get out of bed, which means I’ve just let the farm handle itself and I couldn’t even push myself to go to the Luau. God, I haven’t even written to my family in ages. I just… can’t. Everything feels like such a chore, and I- “
You stop to take a deep breath, tears welling up in your eyes. You’d been looking down at the table since the start of your rambling, not having it in you to look at Sam.
“Woah, man. Seems like a lot you’ve been dealing with.”
Sam’s smile is gone, instead it’s replaced with a face of concern. He doesn’t push you to look at him or anything, he just continues with what he’s saying.
“It’s okay to feel down in the dumps, you’re human it’s bound to happen. And you’ve done so much since you’ve first moved to pelican town, if I’m being honest, I’m amazed you’ve only just reached the burnout stage. But you don’t have to deal with this all alone, you’ve got the whole town to help you with things! And you can always come to me if you ever need anything, I’m happy to help.”
You look up at Sam, eyes red from crying, face looking puffy and messy, but Sam says nothing. He just smiles at you, looking at you with a face of compassion.
“I know me saying all this isn’t just gonna cure your problems but, I hope it helps. And as I said, I’ve got no plans today so I’m happy to help or keep you company!”
You stand up and walk over to Sam’s side of the table, instinctively he stands up at well, and you wrap your arms around him. He’s quick to crush you into a hug back.
“Also, I’ve missed our talks, I have new music to show you AND I beat my high score on my game!”
Sam quietly whispers and you let out a little laugh and smile, even though you know it’ll take a little bit more for you to break out your habits, you’re happy you’ve got a friend there to help you along the way.
“So! What should we do, farmer?”
Sam grins at you and puts a thumbs up. You laugh at the nickname and take a second to think.
“I need to write a letter to my parents, and maybe if I have the effort, I’ll plant some seeds tomorrow.”
Sam nods and puts up an okay sign.
“If you want, I can go to Pierre’s and buy the seeds you need while you get busy writing?”
You smile at Sam and nod, quickly scribbling down a list of the summer seeds you need and handing over the money he’ll need. You walk to the door and see him pick up his skateboard as he turns to wave.
“Be back soon! You better get writing!”
You turn into your house with a smile, grabbing a pen and paper before sitting at the table. You’re thankful for your visit from Sam, and even more thankful for everything that he’s willing to do for you, his friend.
#superdupersunny420Writes#sam x reader#sam x male reader#sam x female reader#sam x gender neutral reader#stardew valley x reader#stardew x reader#x reader#sam x you#sam x farmer#stardew x you#stardew valley x you#stardew valley sam x reader#stardew valley sam x you#stardew valley#stardew#stardew valley x farmer#stardew x farmer#stardew valley sam x farmer#stardew valley reader#stardew valley farmer#hurt/comfort#stardew valley fanfic#x reader fic#stardew valley fic#stardew fanfic#stardew fic#fan fiction#fanfic#fluff
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Needy sam smut? Like afab farmer leaves for a while, and Sam is so lovesick when she comes back
✧A/N: Of course!! I’ve always seen Sam as more of a needy type but never had the thought to put it down on paper (or, computer, I guess). For more Sam content, definitely check out @deepestnightcolor! Their writing style is absolutely fabulous, and they’re one of my biggest tumblr inspirations! Also, I’m really sorry that it took me so long to answer this, I went on vacation for a little while and the parasites took away my motivation.
✧Pairing: Sam x Fem!Reader
✧WC: 1.5k
✧Warnings: hand job, pierced cock (yes, it’s pierced. bite me), face riding, afab!Receiving oral.
✧NSFW BELOW THE CUT✧ ⬇
☆I Missed You☆
You’d been gone for two weeks, out to visit your parents. You’d entrusted the farm with Sam, who was eager to help you feed your animals and water your crops. Before you had to leave, you scribbled down a list of chores that you needed Sam to do when you were gone, and you’d been checking in periodically over text to see how he was doing. He always responded with a peppy answer, but his face did not mirror that peppiness. Sam was in a state of despair, to say the least. He didn’t think he’d ever missed anyone more than he missed you, even just in the span of two weeks.
As you were out and about, hanging out with your parents on your last day, you heard a ping from your phone, and Sam’s name was illuminated on the screen. You smiled, happy to see a text from your husband. However, when you checked it, you were met with a full paragraph of how much he missed you. It was full of many “I love yous,” and “I miss yous” and “the farm isn’t the same without you here.” You smiled gently at the text, thinking it was cute that Sam missed you this much. On the other side of the screen, however, Sam was mentally suffering. He just couldn’t take his mind off of you, staring at the screen like it was all he had left of you.
You’d texted back a brief message, telling him that you loved him and missed him too, and would be back later today. Sam whined at the message, deciding to distract himself by doing extra farm tasks. He worked away, trying to keep his thoughts of you away to little avail. He’d masturbated the other day to a picture of you, but that wasn’t enough anymore. He decided to hold off until you got home, occupying himself with strumming mindlessly at his guitar after working around the house.
***
Three hours later, you stepped off of the bus you’d taken from your parents place and stepped back into Pelican town, breathing in the fresh air and smiling. You began your trek down the dirt path with some pep in your step. You were ecstatic that you’d get to see Sam again after your trip, and you knew he felt the same way based on his text from earlier. You headed up the porch steps, opening the door with your keys and stepping inside, dropping your bag and closing the door again. As soon as Sam heard the door open and close, he set down his guitar and sprinted to the entrance, beaming as soon as he saw you. You smiled and laughed as he tackled you in a hug, happy “missed yous” and “love yous” spilling from his lips mindlessly.
“I missed you, too, babe,” you said through a laugh, grabbing his chin with your fingers and pulling him in for a kiss. You intended to make it a quick peck, you really did, but Sam had a different idea. As soon as your lips touched his, his hands started to trail up and down your back and into your hair, his lips working against yours fervently. You pulled back, a slightly surprised look in your eyes.
“S-sorry, sorry,” Sam stammered out, his head dropping onto your chest to hide the mixture of arousal and embarrassment on his face. “I just missed you so much.”
“It’s okay,” you said, beginning to realize why he was acting like this. You shifted a little to wrap your arms around him, and as you did, you felt a familiar bump against your leg. Sam groaned, his voice muffled by your chest.
“Oh,” was all you could think to whisper. Sam looked up at you with a flushed, embarrassed face. You decided to make light of the situation, saying with a soft smile, “Need some help there, baby?”
“Please,” he whispered. You released him, grabbing his hand instead and leading the both of you to your shared bedroom. As soon as you got there, Sam started to undress without any command from you, his throbbing cock springing out of his boxers as he feverishly pulled them off, kicking both his boxers and his pants away. You blushed at his hurry, not realizing the extent of how much he needed you right now. You followed suit, taking off your clothes, save for your panties, and climbed into the bed with Sam.
“Now, baby,” you said, your tone low as you tilted Sam’s chin up to look at you. “What do you want me to do?”
“Anything. Anywhere,” Sam panted, his words rushed and dripping with need. “Just please touch me.”
Your eyes widened slightly at his feverish voice, but you didn't question it. After all, Sammy needed your help. You dipped your head down slightly and kissed Sam, your lips gentle against his. Sam wasn't in the mood for gentle, though. He needed it rough, and he needed it now. He grabbed your face in his hands and jammed his tongue into your mouth, moaning into the kiss with a desire you didn't know was possible. As the two of you made out, your hand drifted down to Sam’s cock, your fingers gently and teasingly trailing over his length and toying with the piercing on the tip. Sam released another shaky moan against your mouth, his hips bucking into your hand.
You got the memo and wrapped your hand around his base and started to slowly pump up and down with one hand, the other holding you up as you continued to kiss Sam passionately. Sam let out a whimper, breaking away from the kiss and saying in a breathy voice, “Mmfuck. H-harder.” You complied, pumping your hand up and down his cock harder as you leaned in again to kiss the nape of his neck.
Sam released numerous moans and cries, one hand threading into your hair and the other gripping your shoulder as you jerked him off. He reached his climax quickly, his hips bucking into your hand as he came with a final thrust of your hand and launching ropes of cum along his stomach. You helped him ride out his orgasm, murmuring words of praise against his neck as he came down from his high.
“Fuck. I needed that,” Sam says, looking at you with a loopy smile and a flushed face.
“I could tell,” You said, kissing him on his forehead. “Are you done?”
“Well, I didn’t say that…” Sam said, his neediness coming back in waves. Now that you were here, he wasn’t going to let you go that easily.
“Mm. Well, what else would you like to do? Today’s all about you, baby,” You said lovingly, bringing his hand to your lips and kissing it.
“Can you ride my face?” Sam blurts out.
You blush a little at the request, your eyes widening slightly. But who were you to say no to your Sammy? You smiled at him before saying, “Sure, babe. You know the signal?”
Sam’s eyes were already locked on your panties, nodding absently, though you weren’t sure he'd heard a word you said. Sam laid down, pointing at his face with a grin. You rolled your eyes playfully, dragging your panties down your legs before situating yourself over his face. Sam’s eyes glued to your pussy, his arms already gripping your thighs.
“Ready?” You asked, hovering nervously over his face. Sam nodded feverishly, the look of need returning to his eyes as he tugged you down to his face. You gasped as your folds made contact with his mouth, a shiver running up your spine.
Sam wasted no time, his mouth already latched onto your clit and sucking on it mercilessly. You moaned loudly, your hips rolling against his face. You threaded your hand into his hair and pulled, causing him to moan against your clit. The vibrations added a whole new level of pleasure, and you released a string of moans and curses as your hips bucked into his face, desperate for more friction. Sam's grip on your thighs tightened as he speared his tongue into your entrance, the familiar heat pooling in your stomach.
“F-fuck, gonna come,” You stammered out as Sam returned his attention to your clit, sucking on it harder than before. With a final, loud moan, you came on his face, panting heavily. Sam hummed and licked every last drop from your dripping sex, tapping your thigh twice when he was done. You lifted yourself off of his face and collapsed on the bed next to him, smiling lazily at him. He returned your smile, his mouth coated in your fluids.
After taking a minute to catch your breath, your eyes drifted away from his face and down to his cock, which was rock hard again. You looked back at Sam with a mischievous smirk, and he mirrored your expression. Neither of you had confirmed it, but you had a feeling that it would be a long night.
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Progress
I am here! And I made this drabble! @spotaus get in here! We got a new update :3
This one i had to take the time for haha Also I am fucking dying it is so hot and warm and everything is moist and i hate it and please end me i am not made for this heat. and as i am melting so his my sanity and mental health
anyway hahahah it is warm :') I dislike the heat.
First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble
And no beta or edits. I write these in one go and hope for the best lmao.
*------------------*
Dream watches as the bear walks through the stream. looking at the water and following movements Dream can't see.
The bear eventually gets to some mysterious perfect spot and stays put. it opens its mouth and waits.
For a moment. nothing happens.
Then the fish start to jump and rush and one ends right in the bear's mouth. The bear bites down and starts eating.
It is fascinating.
Nature in motion.
Dream continues to lay right there on top of the branches as he watches the bear continue hunting and eating. at ease with what it does and who it is.
His phone ringing ruins the silence and Dream curses as he grabs his phone quickly checking who is calling now. He sighs at the sight of the caller ID and answers it "Hey Core."
The child, is core still a child?, sounds frantic "Dream? Where have you been!?"
Drema hums as he leans against the tree, watching the wildlife again. Good to see the bear has dismissed the noise he made and it went about its day again "out and about. learning stuff."
core sighs "Dream... the people here need you and-"
Dream hums "No they don't. They can do their chores and tasks themselves. I told you and all of them this before." he is not going to fall into the same trap as always. cutting himself apart to please others. He needs to figure himself out first.
Core sighs loudly again "Dream... If you like it our not. You are still the guardian of positivity to them! They are nervous and you can relax them."
Dream sighs annoyed himself "No Core. I can't. Or at least, i don't want that role anymore. Correction. I never should ahve had that role. I already told you that what i did before was a mistake." he had explained this so many times already. Explained that he shouldn't have tried to stop what Nightamre had been doing.
Yet no one understood!
They kept demanding him to keep doing what he had been doing before.
It is exhausting.
Dream sighs loudly and cuts off whatever Core is saying "I am not coming back to the omega timeline. Let it rest Core and move on. That is what i am doing." and he hangs up the phone. He leans against the tree and calls the number he knows by soul.
one ring later and "Dream! How is your break going? Seen any cool things?" Blue sounds excited.
Dream smiles as he leans against the tree already feeling relaxed. Just hearing his friend and hearing him respect what dream wanted makes everything right. The need to complain disappears and he focuses on the good "Yeah it is pretty cool. I am in a large forest. Saw a bear catch a fish with its mouth." the bear moves towards the side to eat some of the fish it caught.
Blue groans "lucky!! I am stuck in another reset. Kid got stuck somewhere in hotland and my bro and I are trying to figure out a way to hel them progress quicker."
Dream chuckles "You and your brother gave up on acting as if you don't notice the save, loads and resets?"
Blue hums "Well... yeah! I know it is a large risk and a big show of trust... but my brother explained to me that knowing I was there for him? With him in the resets and that i truly understood how it felt? He said it gave him peace and hope. that he felt less alone. And that got me thinking... Maybe... maybe Chara would feel better if they knew they weren't alone? That they didn't need to figure it all out alone? Papy had been unsure but he ended up deciding to trust my opinion and decision..."
Dream hums and nods "how did that go?"
Blue is silent for a moment before answering "Well... we dropped hints first and tried to ease them into the idea... then they ended up having a panic attack and apologising over and over again. We just sat down with them and we spoke it all out. they ended up sleeping over at our place for a while and would ask us everything about how we experienced it. So... I think it helped... thanks by the way."
Dream blinks and laughs "Why thank me?"
Dream can hear the smile in Blue's voice "Because you gave me the idea of it all! You were the one to trust me and share your worries with me. and once you shared those pains you felt better. You explained how the powers and responsiblity got too much and painful... That is when i realised. If you, an actual adult and god already felt like that... how would a child feel with so much power and responsibility but no guidance?" Blue is silent for a moment before he speaks "I know we aren't... we arent suposed to mess with the past or what happened or the anomaly but... How can there be any change if we don't try? Be it for the better or worse? At least we won't be stuck in the same loop anymore."
a moment of silence and Drema speaks quietly "What if they end up deciding to use this for bad stuff? To betray that trust and beleive?" what if blue gets hurt?
Blue hums "That is their choice. My choice was to be willing to trust and help. To beleive in the better and do waht i needed to do to take a step in the right direction."
Dream stares down before chuckling "You are truly one of the few between all of us who is sane and has healthy mental health."
Blue laughs "I have struggles too Dream. everyone has! we all do waht we can to cope. talking about struggles... did something happen?"
Blue is too damn smart and knows him too damn well.
Dream sighs "Smething did but... I honestly don't want to talk about it." he chuckles and rubs his new outfit. a more neutral grey with just a few yellow accents "You already need to listen so much to my problems. I want to be there for you too!"
Blue hums unhappily "dream."
Dream sighs and folds immediantly "just... Core calling again."
an even unhappier hum "We need to get you a new cross-multiverse phone. with a new number that Core doesn't know."
Drema can't help but laugh "maybe we can go shopping later? When your loop calms down a bit?"
Blue cheers "Yes! That sounds great! Oh! Did you want to come over for dinner? Chara is going to be friends with alphys and stuff which leaves me free early!"
Dream smiles "gladly. be there in a bit!" blue replies with his own goodbye and Dream hangs up. feeling much lighter and better than before. he opens a portal and makes the multiverse jump.
--
dinner is amazing and Dream takes some time to catch up wiht both Stretch and Blue. enjoying hearing more about the updates about their universe and how tlaking with Chara has helped them all a lot!
Dream is just happy with Blue is getting closer to the happy ending he deserves. To finally be free and explore the surface world he longs for so badly. Dream is also happy that Stretch seems to be doing better mentally. Dream may not be close with Stretch like with Blue but he still likes the other skeleton! Stretch is nice and can be a true sweetheart. Stretch just has to battle depression and hopelessness at the same time.
Blue once asked Dream if he could heal that for Stretch. a desperate plea from a worried brother. Drema had tried but he couldn't. He had once again remembered that it have been the purple apples that could heal mental illnesses. and he did not have a connection to those. Dream never told Blue that and just told him that Dream could only heal the physical body. That mental health was something that needed other and special care and support of loved ones.
Etiher way. it is great to see both feeling better and happier!
They relax and enjoy their time when Dream's phone rings again.
Stretch shoots it a curious look "I thought you muted that?"
Dream groans and nods "i did." he always does. one check later and a frown "Core again."
Blue sighs and steals his phone. he answers it and speaks right away "One. It is rude to call people at dinner time. two. Learn to take no. three. Stop, you are starting to appear obsessed. solve your own problems. It isn't Dreams issue." and hangs up again before handing it back.
Dream stares dumbfounded but Stretch just chuckles "Careful Blue. YOur protective side is showing."
Blue huffs but doesn't appear embarresed at all "Well! They should learn to take no and solve their own problems instead of trying to make it Dream's issue!"
Dream rubs his cheek "I am not much better... I keep asking you for your help..."
Blue looks at him and shakes his skull "Dream that is different. You ask for help. You accept if I am busy. Core demands help and doesn't accept a no." Blue smiles "See the difference?"
Dream feels himself relax again as he happily takes another bite. He enver needed food but it is nice.
a whistle "impressive."
Drema turns quickly and stares "Reaper."
Reaper grins and waves "Hey Dream. Blue and..." he needs a moment "Stretch right?"
Stretch looks a tBlue.
Blue shrugs at his brother "aparently I, or we for that matter, don't know how to not mess with things and cause alternative worlds. it is a long story. also. Don't touch reaper. everything reaper touches dies."
Reaper nods "it is why i float. Anyway. I had a moment and figured i should check in on the whole god thing and had to tell you guys soemthing but well... dinner." he waves at the table and grins "I didn't mean to be rude but..."
Stretch shrugs as he continues eating "I don't mind. talk god stuff. I am gonna keep eating."
Blue smiles at Reaper "I agree! You can just tell us now.. want a plate?" he waves at the dinner served.
Reaper chuckles and waves it off "I don't need food."
Blue huffs "neither does Dream but it is still a nice experience!"
Dream nods as he eats another bite "very nice. also. Blue and Stretch with all the timeloops are good cooks." Blue is already getting a plate and fork ready for the other skeleton.
Reaper blinks but takes the plate thankfully and carefully. he joins in and hums happily "It is great." and continues eating.
It is nice. a little strange but nice. Dream hasn't felt this relaxed and happy in a long time.
Reaper eats antoher bite before starting to speak "Anyway. I came with a mission." he eats antoher bite.
Dream nods and knows where this is going "Is this about... my job?"
Reaper nods as he eats antoher bite "Pretty much. Got any idea on what you want to focus on as domain yet?"
Dream sighs and shakes his skull "I... I hadn't... I had... wanted to wait with picking... until i foudn Nightmare and could talk things out first." he had wanted to pick soemthing together with his twin. make sure they still matched...
Reaper blinks but grins "you dont need to worry! you two are twins after all. if one of you picks a domain the other will automatically lean towards something that matches." he shrugs "god and twin magic stuff."
Dream blinks and feels a bit better. Their magic will always match?! That is great! That is fantastic and-
No.
Dream shakes his skull "Then I really don't want to decide without him!"
Reaper looks confused "But you will match anyway?"
Dream feels himself shake "Like with positivity and negativity?! No! I am not going to pick anything that can cause that kind of mess and split again!" He isn't going to do that to nightmare again!
Wait...
What if he can pick something that is the negative of the match? That would mean Ngihtmare immediantly gets the positive side right? But it hardly ever has only one opposite! Happiness can be the opposite of both sadness and angry to just give an example!
Or people often say love and hate are opposites but then people say it is love and indifference!
There are too many options and he isn't going to do it!
Reaper frowns "Dream. You can't keep going around without somekind of purpose. You are already heavily leaning on Blue as it is."
Dream looks away embarresed while Blue just frowns "Wait how do you know that?"
Reaper raises a brow "Because you are starting to get a boon."
Blue blinks while Stretch frowns "A boon?"
Reaper nods "Yeah. Gods can give boons to mortals who helped them. The more help and support given generally the stronger the boon. Normally these are given on purpose but well... with Dream's magic slightly all over the place." he just waves in their direction.
Blue frowns "what happens if i get one of these?"
Reaper hums "it depends on the god, the boon and the person. YOu could just be kinda like a workshipper if you get a tiny one. High priest kinda deal is also possible. But... with how involved you are with helping Dream? Probably an acolyte. Very strong powers... and pretty much automatically an outcode if not you just surpass that straight to something between mortal and demigod. Acolytes are powerful blue."
Dream shoots blue an anxious look before staring at Reaper "How do i stop that?!"
Reaper shrugs "Now you know about it? And you know you could do it? It is less liekly you will accidentally do it. especially if you don't want to. Boons are suposed to be a thank you kinda deal after all."
Stretch shares a nervous look with Blue but blue pats his hand "I am okay bro." Blue looks at Dream anxious "Dream... You know I love helping you. Really! But... i don't want to be an acolyte or any boon okay? I am just happy to be able to be friends."
Dream grbas his shoulders and stares at him "Blue. I promise and swear! I will never actively give you one unless you ask me okay? And I will try my hardest and best to never accidentally give you one okay?"
He wills himself, his soul, and magic to get the message. Blue doesn't want a boon. Blue doens't want a title. Dream doesn't want to give Blue either of these. Dream does not want to force either a boon or title on blue.
Reaper puts his plate away and floats at a distance "Sorry for the whole... bad news situation. I just figured... fi you are going to keep dodging picking a domain you need to understand this possibility..." he waits a moment before his phone gives a ding. he frowns at it "Work demands me again. Give it some thought. think about your domain and keep an eye on yourself." and Reaper disappears as if he was never there.
Blue frowns at where Reaper left and gives him a reassuraning smile "Hey. If you don't want to give me one you won't give me one. I trust you to not do it on purpose. And we will just make sure I stay in my own universe more! Not tempt fate!"
Dream frowns as he rubs his arm "Maybe i just need to pick a domain... but i don't want to accidentally force nightmare into a role he doesn't want..." it wouldn't be fair.
Blue frowns but Stretch speaks up "makes sense. fuck knows i would never have willingly picked Blue to also rememebr the resets."
Blue shoots him a look but Dream looks a thim confused "But i thoguth it was helping you?"
Stretch nods "It is. it is nice to have his support and everything" he smiles a tblue sadly befor elooking down "But it is a lot. the resets are a lot. i didn't... i didn't want to force him to deal with that." he shoots blue a look "I didn't want to force you to experience the same thing that i saw as hell. I didn't want to do that to you."
Blue frowns and goes to his brother to give him a hug. Dream relaxes and smiles a bit. because Stretch understands. Stretch understands why Dream can't make this choice just yet. Blue understands as well and... and trusts him.
Dream nods to himself and focuses. He doesn't want to give blue a title or boon. He wants blue to just remain his best friend. he wants blue to get the choice. He wants blue to get his chance to pick his future. He wants Nightmare to get his chance to pick his future.
To make their own paths.
To progress and grow in the way they want.
Dream smiles at the two brothers "Thank you two. for being my friends. real friends." he doesn't have many. which makes the two all the more special. and if they want to remain exactly as they are then Dream wants them to stay the way they are. because that truly gives them the chance to be and become who they want to be. instead of being what Dream wants.
Dream just hopes this will work. Because he also wants a chance to figure out who he truly is. And who he wants to be and what he wants. a chance to change and be. a chance to try and grow as a person.
Maybe that is all he ever really wanted.
*------------------*
Meanwhile Nightmare already figured his own domain out and is working on it. Also. No one tell Dream he already picked one. it just isn't as obvious. after all... Blue did mention that Dream helped him find a way to progress and move forwards :3
First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble
#utmv#realageau#dream sans#blue sans#swap sans#swap papyrus#stretch papyrus#core frisk#I once again did not have a drabble wiht the baby#It is a crime#But good news! Dream also already picked his domain of progression! He just isn't aware of it himself#It is okay. he will figure it out eventually :3#progression is also part of character growth and development. and dream needs this freedom to form himself.#by giving him this domain he also gets to be and change as he grows and time passes. Dream will no longer be stuck in the 'perfect' role#anymore. He will get to be selfish and possessive. he will get to make mistakes. he gets to be annoying and weak.#He just gets to be a person now. instead of being stuck as some symbol of pure goodness and innocence and perfection.#Which i can only imagine will get sufacating quickly.#Dream also went through a lot of trauma and this? This is his chance to heal and be who he wants to be.#Not that he realises it quite yet.#He thinks he doesn't have a domain. Not realising his very domain now gives him the freedom he craves and needs!#I hope that all makes sense... I tried my best hihi
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All That Glitters: Prologue
All That Glitters: Prologue
Pairing: Javy "Coyote” Machado x Reader
Summary: Growing up in the untamed wilds of the west afforded you many opportunities that most women weren't allowed, namely that of choice and self sufficiency. One day, your father announces his intention to marry you off, and you take your chance to escape, moving south to try your luck at striking gold. You arrive in the town of Maverick, setting up shop, but soon learn that life on your own is tougher than you previously thought. You catch the eye of a handsome man, but you're determined to rely on your own skills. Only, you may end up needing his help after all...
Content Warnings: References to living in the wild, Mentions of Indigenous tribes, Use of Y/N, Allusions to daddy issues, Poverty living, Sexism, Forced engagement, running away, Talks of gold. I think that's everything, but please let me know if I missed anything!
Word Count: 1.36k
Masterlist || DGU Masterlist
The mountains of the west are where you called home, and you knew every tree and stone like they were old friends. Or at least, that’s what it felt like to you.
The Rocky Mountains had sheltered you in their bosom from as early as you could remember, the old trees hiding you away from the rest of the world as your father worked, trapping and skinning the different animals that roamed this part of the world. He was an older man, getting well on in years, and you had no doubt he would pass on his trade to you any year now. You practically helped him run the business as it stood, a fact that you were very proud and mindful of.
It had just been you and your father for almost two decades now, your mother having taken ill when you were still young. The shadows of a kind smile and comforting song still teased the edges of your memories, but it had been so long, that you couldn’t be sure if they were real or the manifestations of hope teasing you with ideas of what it was to have a mother. You had been told by all who knew her that you were her spitting image, and to those comments you were never sure how to respond, so you didn’t.
You and your father lived in a remote cabin in what felt like the densest part of the forest. While he went out checking his many traps for new boon, you were stuck at home tending to the chores around your little fortress. Not many people came by your way, but those who did already knew where to look. Your father had friendships among the local Ute tribes, often trading with them for needed supplies. You had made tentative friendships over the course of the years, knowing that it would come in handy one day.
Now that you were older, you were trusted with more, and you prided yourself on keeping a neat home despite the surrounding wilderness. You were hanging the laundry up to dry when the sound of a horse trotting through the thicket caught your attention. Your body stiffened, ready for a potential threat, but you relaxed as you recognized the rider.
“Duncan,” you greeted easily, continuing your task. Duncan was a tall, strong man of about thirty years with strawberry blond hair, earth brown eyes, and sun-kissed skin. The scruff on his face indicated that it had been a few days since he had last shaved, and you weren’t sure if you like it.
“Y/n!” He called with a grin, his horse, Boone, barely coming to a stop at the foot of the small hill before he was dismounting. You supposed he was a handsome man, but you had known him since you were young, your fathers working together in the trade before Duncan’s father took ill some six years back. Duncan had already been well into adulthood by that time, promptly picking up the mantle his father had left behind.
Deep down, you knew your father had wished you were his son rather than his daughter, but you worked tirelessly to prove to him that you were just as capable as any son. You supposed it also helped that Duncan was a near constant figure in both your lives.
“Is your father around?” He asked, looking past you towards the cabin. You pinned the last sheet to the line before picking up the basket and holding it at your hip.
“He should be back soon,” you told him. “Why don’t you come wait inside?”
The rest of the day passed quickly, your father making his appearance just before the sun set below the horizon. You served dinner, listening quietly as your father and Duncan discussed business around the fire. You cleaned quietly, excusing yourself to your bed. The cabin was a one room building, the little privacy you were afforded was hidden behind a makeshift curtain in the far corner. You changed into your night shift, moving to slide into bed when you heard your father utter your name. You paused, glancing at the curtain that separated you from the two men. Padding to the edge quietly, you peeked through the crack between the fabric and the wall. The two chairs were silhouetted against he warm, orange glow of the fire, but you could still see the smoke rise from your father’s pipe.
“I’m getting older. You know that, Duncan,” your father sighed, relaxing further back into his chair. His accent was thick with the weariness of the day, and there were days where even you struggled to understand him.
“Yes René,” Duncan chuckled. “I’m aware.”
“My girl is smart, strong, capable,” your father continued, and your heart swelled with pride at his words, your chest puffing up a little. “But she can’t be on her own when I’m gone.”
You frowned at that, brow furrowed in confusion. What did he mean by that? Had you not proven to him time and time again that you were able to take care of not only yourself but him? You were so caught off guard that you nearly missed his next words.
“She’s too dependent on me,” he murmured, frown evident in his voice. “She needs a man to keep her safe and grounded.”
“What are you getting at André?” Duncan asked carefully, leaning forward onto his knees as he stared at your father.
“Take her for your wife, Duncan.”
Your heart stopped.
“She’s agreeable and a hard worker,” your father continued, a cough wracking through him. “And I’m sure it has not escaped your attention that she’s quite the beauty as well.”
“It hasn’t,” Duncan hummed. “It’s true, she would make a most agreeable wife, but I don’t know.”
“Duncan,” your father chided. “You are the son I never had. Why not make it official? It would do this old man’s heart good to know that my daughter is in the care of someone who will take care of her.”
There was a long pause between the two.
“Alright, André,” Duncan relented. “I accept.”
You watched as the two men shook hands, bile rising up in your throat. You slunk back into your bed, waiting for their conversation to die down and silently making plans of your own.
It had taken you all of one day to find your opening to escape, a singular, small pack holding a change of clothes and your mother’s journal. Duncan had left your home with the promise to return the following week, your father having gone out not too long after. You had left him a note, telling him that you had left and that you wouldn’t be back. There was no point in beating around the bush. The two of you weren’t flowery people. It took you all of two days to make it to Denver, trading a couple of furs for a few nights at the local tavern. You hoped you’d be able to come up with a plan before your stay was up.
“You heard the news?”
You glanced over to the table to your right where two men sat, drinking beer and playing a game of cards.
“What news?” The man with the beard asked in a grunt, throwing down a couple of chips. His friend threw down the same amount, drawing a card to add to his hand.
“Heard they found gold northwest of Santa Fe,” the first man said, scratching at his whiskerless chin. “A little town called Maverick. Sounds like they’re opening a mine and everything.”
“Maverick,” the bearded man drawled, “ain’t that the town with the upstarts?”
“The Dagger Gang, yeah,” the man said. “Anyway, the mayor apparently announced that they’re handing out permits or whatever for mining and panning. Could be worthwhile.”
His companion grunted, revealing his cards as the man groaned. Pulling the pile of chips closer to him, he sniffed.
“Might not be a bad idea to get a move on now before more people showed up.”
You didn’t hear the rest of their conversation, already heading back to your room to make plans for tomorrow.
A/N: And here it is! The start of Javy's spinoff! The plan is to work on my entry for the Galentine's day challenge and then I'll let you guys decide who we hear from next! As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! Be sure to follow my side account: @sailoraviator-library and turn on post notifications if you'd like to be notified of when I post! You can also follow me on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond Thanks for reading!
#javy coyote machado#javy coyote machado x reader#javy coyote machado x you#javy coyote machado fanfiction#javy machado#javy machado x reader#javy machado x you#javy machado fanfiction#coyote#coyote x reader#coyote x you#coyote fanfiction#top gun coyote#coyote top gun#atg#all that glitters#dgu#dagger gang universe
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ed — cowboy au
recently did a drawing of him in somewhat cowboy attire and i’m trying to rack up in my brain on how that would even happen LOL
but i can definitely see him using and forming his psycho powers into a rope to help huddle the cows and sheep!
him country dancing would also a somewhat easy task as he’s already light on his feet
even if he hates the thought of dancing for people, i like to think whenever he’s bored and waiting for the others to finish up their chores
he’ll hum a tune of song—that has been stuck in his head ever since he came across the local bands—and mimic the steps he saw nights ago
bonus points if he’s doing it in the barn as he sweeps up the hay
٩( ᐛ )و
It was another night in the town.
Every night was boring but when it came to the weekends, the whole town loved to celebrate a hard week of work and party with their neighbors.
But of course, parties can turn into hell quickly. Drunks caused commotion and criminals blended in the rowdy crowds, it can be chaotic in an instant. That’s why they were there—the unnamed group that kept things in check when needed. No one had a name for them yet, but they all knew who they were based on the owl logo on their outfits. Whether it would be on their jackets, belts, or hats—they would recognize them.
Ed had been forced to enter a bar of some sorts. It was unlike the ones they had seen before as the area in the middle was huge and crowded by people. The music was played passionately by a band. This bar seemed more for entertainment than mindless drinking. He watched as his group members followed the cheering crowd. He scoffed and soon followed behind. Unlike the others who seemed curious about the ruckus, his eyes trailed over the crowd to see anyone that seemed out of place.
Places like these were a perfect spot to pickpocket mindless bystanders without being caught.
He felt his chest bump into Falke. He looked down at her then followed her strong gaze. There were people dancing. Smiles planted on their faces and their hands colliding with their dance partners. The first thing he noticed was the amount of spinning they loved to do. How was that enjoyable? He could feel a headache coming just by looking at them. But they all seemed to be in sync no matter what. Their footsteps mirrored each others as the clacking of their boots matched the beat of the music. Whistling and cheering were made by the crowds. Encouraging this weird and unnecessary behavior.
The music changed, the couples soon walked off and a new set of dancers eagerly stepped into the dancing area. They hopped to their desired spot and clapped to the beat of the song before swinging their hips to the side and sung with excitement.
Ed’s hand adjusted his belt as he became uncomfortably interested in the dancing. His eyes lead down to their feet and watched the swift and light movements of the dancers. Even after they aggressively stomped on the wooden floor, they were quick enough to spin lightly and continue their footwork.
Soon, gunshots were heard and the crowd erupted into chaos. The band ducked down and soon continued to play. This was a normal occurrence for them. If they got shot, at least they died doing what they loved doing best. At least, that’s what they told the group after they questioned why they were stupid enough to stick around instead of taking cover.
The members soon prepared themselves for a fight.
Ed scoffed in annoyance as he felt people rush by him to leave the bar. He hated how much he was enjoying the show and even was more angered that it was interrupted. His hands adjusted his hat and soon traced over his wrapped knuckles. His eyes looked at the empty dance floor once more before punching the nearest bad guy.
—
Ed stepped into the empty barn and began to lazily sweep up the hay.
Falke had told him it was his turn to clean up the barn as Dobermann had already done it last week. His eyes followed the sticks of hay that began to jumble up after each sweep. Subconsciously, he began to hum out the music from the band. He stopped once he realized and huffed at himself. The song had been stuck in his brain all week and it was irritating. He had another things to focus on yet his brain decided the song was a priority. His hand squeezed the wooden handle, causing his knuckles to turn white. ‘Get a grip.’ He thought to himself and continued to sweep.
His eyes darted at the barn door every second. He stood up straight and looked down at his boots. The images of the dancers played through his mind. For a moment, he stood still and took one last glance at the door before he began to tap his heel.
1-2.. Or was it 1-2-3?
He closed his eyes and softly hummed out the music. 1..2..3..
His left hand held the broom stick for support as he jumped and clacked his heels together once they hit the floor. He took a moment to regain balance and swung his feet into a kicking motion to carry the momentum as he swung and hopped. He now faced the back of the barn and repeated the steps over and over again.
The shed of light creeped into the barn as a furry hand swung it open. “Hey Ed—“ He stopped for a moment and watched as Ed had quickly stumbled and forced himself to straighten up. His hands gripping onto the handle of his broom and his chest heaving with big breathes.
“What were yo—“
“Nothing. What do you want?” He huffed out, his arm wiping off the sweat from his forehead—and to block out the embarrassment that was planted on his face—.
#street fighter#street fighter 6#ed sf6#sf6 ed#ed street fighter#first writing post#ed as a cowboy#cowboy au#should’ve been doing my homework instead#this is probably bad writing LOL
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Tangled Bedsheets
p/s/s—preferred streaming service/site; Netflix, Youtube, Hulu, etc
Fem reader
Ghost was simply trying to help. Not aware that he was poking at some of y/n’s previous trauma. She hadn’t realized how difficult it’d be to get used to sharing her space with someone else. While wary, she agreed to helping Simon make the bed. A task that was basically automatic for Ghost, an act he passed by quickly without any embellishments. Now he had to deal with fluffy blankets and throw pillows. ‘Any good shows on p/s/s?’ He asked as he gently took the mattress cover from y/n’s hands.
Mattress sheet—fitted sheet—blanket. Just like the first, he kept taking the items, assuming that they’d created an assembly line of sorts. But Ghost noticed, it was like day and night. They’d never had problems completing chores together. Dinner—laundry—gathering the trash. All of it went without a hitch, hell, most of the time there’d be conversation or music flowing through the halls. Usually her favorite music artist or genre, playing whatever song was stuck in her head at least three times. The rare times he’ll let himself goof off and get off task because he felt that comfortable, that safe. But this, it was as if he was interacting with a mirrored version of himself. The shortness of her responses, she sounded so snippy. So unlike herself. Slowly piecing together that she was stuck inside her mind when he noticed the glazed over look in her eyes.
Grabbing her hands, Ghost decided the task could take a rain check. That they needed to pause as Simon needed to know what she was thinking. Sitting down on the bed sans decorations, ‘Hey, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?’ Wiping away the tears. Ghost hated how red her eyes were, how irritated they were. ‘I don’t know how to say it without sounding like—it’s not important.’
‘That’s okay, I’m listening. If it’s bothering you this badly, then it’s obviously important.’ Removing his balaclava as an attempt to calm her nerves. Whatever it was, it wasn’t the time to be intimidating. She needed Simon, not Ghost. Her roommate, not the calculated lieutenant.
‘When I was a kid, my parents would always yell at me when it came to my room. Hell, my dad would say it looks like a bomb went off,’ Y/n reached for her childhood stuffie, hugging it close to her chest. ‘my mom once made me stay up until the bed was made. It wasn’t that I was refusing to, I just didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to put a fitted sheet on and whenever I asked, she’d do it for me.’ While Simon didn’t exactly comprehend it all, he sympathized. While it truly seemed like nothing, there’s things that one simply never forgets. No matter how hard they tried. No matter how fast they ran and he knew that well. ‘I thought I could let you help, I did. But I got frustrated and then bottle it all up.’ Hyper-independence, it was a trait he’d seen in her before.
‘That’s okay, would it do good if I stepped out and let you finish this on your own?’ Mirroring the way y/n comforted him. ‘I think so, yea.’ Leaving the room, Simon decided to make them both a cup of tea.
‘Thanks.’
‘It was the least I could do.’
#call of duty#cod x reader#x fem reader#x female reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x fem reader#cod ghost x reader#cod ghost x fem reader#ghost x reader#ghost x fem reader
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Daggers & Daffodils Chap. 28
To those who are reading this on wattpad and AO3. I highly suggest checking out https://www.tumblr.com/blog/clovermarigold Which is where I post my works on Tumblr. I have extra content for my other series and may decide to do the same for this one if it garners enough interest. It is also much easier to send out announcements there, so you'll be more likely to know when new chapters will be released, what delays there are, as well as participate in polls that directly affect the plot. As a bonus, I am currently taking requests, so if you have questions about the fic, maybe want some head cannons of our favorite berserker drop on by!
think i might have outdone myself with the fluff in this one. also, BACK TO REGULAR LENGTH CHAPTERS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, eyes fliting from the number of dragon hunters guarding the edges of the ship to your friends on the deck bellow you. It was clear they had tried and failed to escape. What made the situation worse was the fact that Heather seemed to be the one to foil the plan. Beating Astrid in a one on one. Something Tuff would not be letting her live down, despite being unarmed while Heather had her axe.
The whole situation felt wrong, being betrayed by such a close friend. You couldn't help but feel a bit petty. She had been so mad at you for 'not being honest' about your relationship with Dagur, and now here she was. Aiding him in his deranged mania, capturing and selling dragons, all the while preaching about being a happy family together?
She was furious with you, and suddenly she was yours and Dagur's biggest supporter. It didn't feel right. But regardless of how it felt, what mattered now was getting of this ship. Heather had convinced Ryker to make them work on the ship, an uncomfortable feeling settling in your gut when Dagur kept you from inheriting the same punishment. The idea of special treatment felt wrong in of itself, and you would much prefer working if it meant you could see Silver Tongue.
The ship was on lock down now. Sneaking out would be near impossible, and that wasn't even taking into account the berserker currently attached to your hip. Deranged as he may be, he was smart. He kept you on a shorter leash than you gave Scabbard on wash day.
There was always some part of him resting on you, whether it be a hand loosely playing with your fingers, an arm casually draped over your shoulders, or you 'least favorite' his head latched onto your neck, his chin hooking over your shoulder to keep you in his arms in front of him.
The two of you walked the ship, Dagur rambling about floral arrangements, invitations, and other wedding chores. It was clear that though security was tight, the guards were all tasked to individual prisoners, focusing on one rather than communicating with the others. In this case, dividing and conquering would be your best bet. Knowing your brother, he was no doubt formulating a plan to break you and the others free. But how long would that take?
"What do you think?" you were caught off guard by Dagur's question. Was he talking to you? Of course he was, but you weren't exactly listening, "I don't really care". Dagur's smile dropped, giving you a once over. He was thinking something, you were sure. But whatever it was, he made no comment, only pulling you in closer to his side as he sped up your pace, choosing to refocus his attention to patrolling.
Well, that was the opposite of what you needed.... Wait. The opposite of what you needed! It would only be a matter of time until Hiccup came back with his plan of action, whatever that was, so why not make things easier for him.
"I'm sorry" he paused your pace to shoot you a shocked look, "I just... Don't feel comfortable with all these people possibly eaves dropping".
He switched to a more concerned tone, "It's only temporary, you won't have to worry about them for long" the crazed look paired with the ominous warning left you on edge. Biting the inside of your cheek you pushed down any mixed feeling you had and decided to commit to your half-baked plan.
"Personally, I would pref-" he cuts himself off when you wrap yourself around his arm. "I don't like Dragon Hunters" you state bluntly. His opposite hand moved to rest on yours, currently wrapped around him, "We can go back to the room".
"No!" you paused, recollecting yourself, "No. I don't want to go back in that room again... I need fresh air". You shoot a glare at a hunter you catch staring. Dagur notices too, grip tightening ever so slightly.
You don't catch what it is, but Dagur must have done something, because in a matter of seconds, the hunters on the back half of the ship excuse themselves. Mission complete, with the back half completely unarmed the ships integrity would be compromised. All that was left was to keep it that way.
A deep breath sounded from the man beside you. You knew him well enough to tell he was in thought. About what, you had no idea. But considering it was Dagur, that was probably for the best.
You pause, thinking of what to say, "Is she happy with you?" was all you could come up with. And it was an important question in your mind. Heather had been very clear in her conflicted feelings about staying with the group. For her to do THIS was completely out of character for her, but at the very least you could get a gage of why.
"Of course," the way he jerked his head sharply showed genuine confusion to the thought it would be anyway else.
"I just... want to know that she's ok" not entirely untrue. You wanted her to be as well as she possibly could. So, strangling her unconscious would feel more rewarding. You mentally chastised yourself for thinking something so cruel about a friend. Then again, was she even still your friend after this.
"Y/N", it wasn't anything new, but it always felt a bit wrong when he called you by your name. He only ever did it when he was trying to point out 'flaws' in your beliefs. Even when he said it to tease you, he did it in a way that felt like a nick name or a term of endearment. You don't like how much he's been saying it. Every time he says it the pit in your stomach feels a bit larger.
"I promise you; I will never do anything to hurt our family" it was said seriously. Something that felt foreign and uncomfortable on Dagur. Not even threatening, just a solemn oath. Granted you saw the irony in the promise, with him actively trying to kill your brother. But you suppose that was just because in Dagur's logic Hiccup wasn't a part of your 'real' family.
It didn't excuse anything, but at least you were learning a bit more of how his insane and unruly logic worked. The fact that you were likely the one to know it best concerned you to no end.
Not knowing how to add to the conversation and emotional bombshell that just happened, you contented yourself to tightening your grip around Dagur's arm, slightly leaning your head in as well.
To your surprise, Dagur didn't take this as a sign or excuse to tease, make a move, or even comment on anything. Instead, he stayed silent, quietly watching the horizon. Though you did feel his thumb ever so slowly beginning to move up and down on your wrist.
It was... peaceful. Actually, now that you think about it, this might be the most calm and gentle moment you've had in months. Sun shining a warm blanket on your skin, mist cooling you in waves, and the faint sound of Dagur's heartbeat mixing with the ocean.
It made your mind wander. Back to when you were kids playing on the cliffs. Chasing each other because one of you wouldn't stop cheating. Getting tired and sleeping under trees instead of going back to the village because your parents would make you go home. Simpler times.
You didn't notice when Dagur's head had moved to rest on yours. But it didn't bother you as much as it should. Just an extra pressure, but not an uncomfortable one. Like a blanket, just heavy enough to make you feel extra safe.
For a moment you wished time would stop. That you could stay in this moment, free from any expectation or plague of reality the world would throw at you. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and you would be pulled from your peace in a cruel and painful way.
A howl sounded from underneath the ship. And not just any howl, you knew that sound, "Silver tongue!". Dagur was quick to try and grip your arm, unfortunately for him you were just quick enough to slip past him and run towards the hull.
"You have no idea who you're messing with!" the sound of Astrid yelling from her cell only made your blood pressure spike ten times over as you nearly leapt down the stairs. The scene of horror you were met with was more than enough to shatter any moment you thought you were having. Silver Tongue strapped down in a cell struggling harshly against three hunters as they roughly pulled the arrows from his wing and left him.
You moved to rush them when a sharp pain emitted from your scalp. "And where do you think you're going" Ryker, "I thought you two were keeping an eye on this one".
"A mistake on my brother's part" the sharp sting dissipated as you were traded into the much softer hands of Heather. "His wounds will get infected if you don't let me treat him" you pulled against Heathers grip to no avail. Looking back, you were met with Heathers dethatched gaze, though you could sense a faint guilt behind her steely exterior.
"That's the buyers problem. I won't go wasting any supplies on faulty merchandise. Sides" he leaned closer to the cage, causing silver tongue to let out a low growl. "His hides already damaged beyond worth. Suppose his skeleton would make a good center piece".
"I'll kill you" Your thrashing was enough to break out from one of Heathers hands. And had you not been so quickly traded into Dagur's you may have been able to get a good swing in on the bastard, "Heh. Put her in the brig. Before I throw her in a cell". Threats aside didn't stop you from putting up a fight as you were dragged away back into that Odin forsaken room again.
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"I think that little brat's growing on me" Ryker joked.
"Ryker! Rykeeee" a frown spread across Dagur's face as he felt a twitch in his eye. Oh, so he was going to call his wife a brat after insulting his sister, and him. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Damn the plan, Dagur would rip out Rykers spine for the whole fleet to see if it meant putting him in his place.
A glare from Heather pulled him from his murderous thoughts. 'Fine. You luck out today', it was a good thing Heather was there. With the exception of you no one else could, or even really knew how to ground him. Ryker would get to live for today, but that wouldn't stop him from making... alteration to the plan, specifically ones regarding what he would do to him once everything came into focus.
"Little side note" his smile dropped, "If you ever disrespect my wife again or so much as touch her, I won't hesitate to wear your ribcage as my battle armor". The ship went quiet as the two stood still, neither moving so much as a hair.
For a moment, Heathers fingers brushed over her axe, waiting for a fight to break out. "Hmph, keep her out of my hair" Ryker turned with a huff.
"What hair" Dagur mumbled like a child, only for a smack to hit him upside the head. "Ow, what was that for" Dagur turned towards his sister.
"For almost screwing everything up. I want to beat Ryker too, but we can't do that until we get to Vigo" Dagur rolled his eyes. "I don't see why you're so obsessed with meeting Vigo, the guys not even that interesting. You don't have a crush, or something do you? Because he is way older than you and as your brother I absolutely forbi-" Heather shoved a hand over his mouth before he started yelling.
"No, you idiot. We need Vigo so we can get access to the Dragon hunter monopoly, then when the time is right. WE take over" a sinister look took over Dagur. "Oh, I knew you were a genius, mom would be so proud". Heather bit back an insult and hit him on the back, "Go check on Y/N. I don't doubt she's losing it"
"I don't understand why she's so upset over that overgrown lizard" Heather turned sharply to her brother, "You wouldn't get it!".
"Alright alright, touchy subject" he backed away slowly.
Stopping outside the door he could hear you pacing, gods he hated it when you were worked up like this. Don't get him wrong, it was adorable, and hot. But only when it was, he was the one to work you up. Not Ryker.
knocking lightly, your pacing stopped. "My love" he opened the door carefully, stepping in. "I know you're upset so I thought we coul-" A fist collided square with his nose sending him stumbling back.
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You were angry. No, that would be an understatement, you were livid. So naturally the first thing you would do upon having anyone dare to enter your space would be to knock them as hard as you could in the nose. Your dad always said you had a nasty right hook.
It didn't surprise you when it was Dagur, honestly, who else was it supposed to be. That didn't cause you to feel any twisted form of guilt like it usually would. No, if anything you wanted to do it again.
"Wow!" Dagur said shocked clutching his nose, which was now bleeding, "If you don't give me my dragon I swear I'll rip you're damn head off!".
Dagur nodded still clutching his nose with wide eyes, "ok ok.... You're very pretty right now, can I kiss you?". You raised your hand to hit him again, though this time he was prepared, swift to dodge, "Ok I get it. I'll get the overgrown lizard some medicine or something".
"I mean it, Dagur. Real medical attention" he put his hands up assuring you repeatedly.
"Have you been working you because I think I can smell colors" taking a deep breath you have him a once over. Damn it, did you give this man a concussion?
"Sit on the bed" obediently, without so much a word of argument, Dagur listened. Lifting his chin up you checked his eyes, making him track your finger. ok, visual awareness seems fine. You snaped in his right ear, "Ow, what was that for?".
"Good, you can hear fine. You're being dramatic, you're fine". You moved away from him. How had things been so fast to go to hell. One moment you were having the most relaxing rest of your life. The next you were angrier than you had ever been in your life.
"You know, you're getting a lot better at this" you turned to the idiot in question, "Hitting you?".
"No, acting like... you" you raised a brow. "Actually, expressing yourself. A month ago, you wouldn't even yell at me beyond 'you're delusional, I'm never gonna marry you, Dagur', " he said in a terrible mock imitation of your voice, "Now, you're actually dealing with the real problem".
"The real problem? My problem is that you can't help but ruin my life!" you scream. "THERE! Right there! You're actually learning to speak your mind. Not the rehearsed argument you tell yourself to sleep at night, your actual thoughts" he laughed.
"You're insane" you groan in irritation and half disgust, "Ok. bit of a step backwards but some of that is you".
"Can you shut up" Dagur, to your relief, did stop talking.
Gods, even when he's not talking it's like you can hear voices in your head yelling at you. Wait.... no. Those aren't in your head. "Dragon riders!". Hiccup!
"Stay down here" Dagur shot up, slamming the door behind him, the sound of a lock sliding into place confirming your suspicions.
You hadn't been successful in managing to make his plan easier, so you would have to hope his plan would work. A scratching at the door grabbed your attention, followed by a small spark of fire through the crack underneath, "Scabbard! Good girl".
She let out a pleased chirp at your praise. "Ok, pleeeeease find a way to understand me and slide the lock open" silence. "I will give you all the fish if you unlock this door", nothing. "I will give you all of Silver Tongue's fish if you open this door" the metal bar rang as it hit the floor.
"You little con artist" Scabbard shot up off the ground, purring as she nuzzled herself in a vise grip around your neck. "I know, I know, no more privacy when I get home huh".
Sneaking upwards you were relieved to see the hunters were preoccupied with Hiccup and Snotlout in the air, allowing you to get into the hull where your friends were already making their escape.
Granted they were still dealing with the few dragon hunters downstairs with you. You trusted them to be able to handle them, your priority was Silver Tongue. Quickly, you slid past and ran to his cell, cutting the ropes as fast as you could. It wasn't clear if the hunters had done it, or if it had been Silver Tongue while trying to free himself, but he was covered in small cuts and scratches, bruising covering underneath his second left wing.
"It's ok, were going to get you home, and clean you up" he let out a low pathetic growl and huff, he was exhausted, sorry Scabbard but you weren't getting any of his fish.
"Y/N!" Astrid called. "I'm coming. Come on buddy, you got this". Carefully, he pushed off the ground, launching up through the open hatch in the ship Storm fly had blasted open.
Dagur was right, you had gotten better expressing your anger. And with Thor as your witness Ryker was going to learn just how much anger you had.
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thank you for reading!!! A longer chapter to make up for the wait. Thank you to everyone who has been commenting, I read every single one.
ps. no proofread on this one so sorry for spelling and grammar errors
Taglist
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@alicee-carter
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The End
24 hours turned into 36 hours, which turned into 72. All of that time, Barry didn't sleep, instead asking everyone on the crew when they had last seen her, and taking a flyover of the local area. There was no sign of her.
Days turned into weeks. The monotony of it was driving Barry insane. He woke up, researched a new location, then scouted it with Taako, then back to the ship when they inevitably found nothing. Even Taako wasn't as ruthless as Barry, taking time to eat and sleep. These were luxuries that he couldn't afford.
Sometimes he would break down in the middle of the night and Lucretia would make him a cup of tea. He didn't know why she was up, or why her knuckles were stained with ink, or why she looked so sad, but he appreciated the gesture. She tried to tell him to sleep but he ignored her, crashing for the bare minimum to stay functional. Functional as if he were a robot.
He felt like a robot. The world felt grey and distant, and everything felt like a task, a chore assigned to his program. He didn't understand the glances towards him and then away, the whispers.
Merle and Magnus persuaded him to take a shower and a nap after day 8, but when he had collapsed into his bed, he could smell her and he started crying so hard that he couldn't breathe. Magnus had come in to check on him, and when he saw the situation, he picked Barry up and put him in his own bed.
They didn't suggest he try to sleep in his own bed again, but offered theirs as a lifeline. Barry knew they pitied him but he didn't have time to care. He had to keep working. He had to find her. She had to be out there somewhere.
Weeks turned into months. Dead end after dead end was detailed on the map in front of Barry's eyes but he could barely focus. His hands shook from too much coffee, black coffee, he didn't have time for anything else.
"Barry, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Davenport, although Barry had to blink a few times to make sure.
"Sure."
They went into his office and Davenport began immediately. "Barry, you're unstable. You need to pull yourself out of your self-destructive spiral for the sake of the mission-"
"THE MISSION?" Barry didn't register his volume but Davenport's face showed his shock. "THE MISSION'S OVER! We can't get home, we outran the Hunger, we did it! There is no mission anymore!"
Davenport took a deep breath. "Ok, then. How about for Lup?"
"LUP'S GONE!" The silence extended beyond the room, the entire ship was silent, as if everyone was listening in. "Dav, I have to find her."
"You can't do it like this."
That didn't stop Barry from trying. He was trying something different now. If Lup hadn't come back yet, she might be stuck as a lich without a body. And, lucky for both of them, his Relic would allow her to have a new body. He just had to go and get it.
Taako walked into the room, stepping past crumbled paper and spilled inkwells and dirty mugs. "How's it going?"
Barry's head jerked up from where he had nodded off. He wiped away some drool that had formed. "Oh sorry, I- sorry, so, um, anyway, there’s a… there's a dungeon out beyond the Felicity Wilds? It's a… subterranean… demonic keep… thing. There’s a bunch of arcane energy coming off of it. I was gonna check it out tonight, if you wanna come with."
Taako looked at him with such pity but Barry tried his best to ignore it. "Yeah, where were- where were- remind me, how far is that in relation to the last glassing?"
Barry pointed to a spot. It was far from the last glassing, closer to some of the previous ones. He knew it was a stretch, but he couldn't tell Taako his real reason, not yet. There hadn't been a glassing in months, so it was fine to work back a ways, right? "I've triangulated it here."
Taako shrugged, buying it for at least the moment. "Yeah, it seems like a good a place as any. Do you want to do the usual: I’ll go down and start casting around, see if I can pick up anything, and then- you start talking to folks?"
Barry nodded, but he couldn't fight the ever-growing feeling that it was useless, this was all useless. She was dead somewhere, or started a new life or something. She was gone. He just had to accept that. "Taako, what if she's just gone?"
"Who?"
The floor fell out from under him. He was missing something, he was doing something. He had to remember something but there was something else in the way. It was all fading and dusty and as he looked at the map, he couldn't remember what he had been looking for. "Ta-Taako, I'm-" Taako had to remember. He knew. He was supposed to know.
"What if who's gone?" She looked like Taako, they looked like Taako? They looked like? He was grasping at memories that were fleeing from him. He looked at Taako and saw a stranger. What was his name again. Lup.
"What are we…? Oh, god, Lup… Taako, I’m- I can’t remember her face, Taako. Taako, where-" Barry grabbed at the table, at his face. What was wrong with him? He was missing something big, something important. He couldn't live without it.
"Whose face?" And if Taako couldn't remember, then no one could. Not unless they were the Voidfish.
"Is this Fisher?" Not unless they were a lich. Barry's eyes snapped to Taako's wand. They were out of options. Out of time. He knew what had to happen.
"Taako, k- kill me! Right now! I’ll- I’ll remember if I’m a lich, I can- please, Taako, just kill me! It’ll- I’ll be okay! I can’t forget, I’m, I’m, begging you, please, Taako! Please!" And then a bolt hit his chest. And another in his stomach. Barry staggered backward, his back hitting the railing hard. This was the end of everything.
He saw Taako standing there, and for a moment he almost reached out, almost thought it was her. But then the static claimed that thought, and he was just a strange elf who had a look of panic and dread. Barry gave a thumbs up and a smile. It's all he could do.
Consciousness was painful. It had been so long since he had last slept. There was wind rushing in his ears, in his hair, as he fell. He let go.
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My 3rd Kirby + Reader
You were not okay. Even everyday tasks, including the really important ones, were exhausting. Lately, you had been running out of food at your house. You knew you had to go shopping, just one problem: it was a very draining task to you, to the point where you seriously dreaded doing so.
At least your fam(ily member) Kirby was always there to help.
You were holding Kirby in your arms when you stood outside the doors, psyching yourself up. He patted your face and said, “You can do it! Take as long as you need!” You knew he would never lie about thinking you should go at your own pace, so you eventually stepped through.
You walked through the many aisles, all filled with people. It was so crowded, you were very stressed out. You held Kirby tight and focused on getting through as best you could. You could squeeze Kirby as hard as you wanted, the pink puff was super tough. He was soft, though. Just indestructible, making him the perfect stress ball.
You needed some bread, but you didn’t know where it was! There was a store employee nearby, but your social anxiety was so bad you had almost no strength to talk to them. “Kirby, what do I say?” He helped you practice some lines, then when you successfully got directions, cheered “You’re doing amazing!” And spread his nubs and pressed himself against you. His hugs were always amazing despite how small he was.
You got to the bread aisle. You knew you had to get the best bread, but which one was it? You held two different brands in your hands. It took you five minutes, and you could feel the angry presence of another customer behind you, but after what felt like years you were able to choose. Kirby told you, “Good job!”, hugged you again, And you were off to check out.
You got Kirby some checkout candy as a thank-you and left with your purchases, relief that the chore was over, and gratefulness to your fam for helping you with it. The end <3
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May 17-23, 2014
I spent another productive day balancing work with personal time. Started off with a morning jog and some public calisthenics at the park, followed by a satisfying breakfast at Azotea Greens.
Back home, I tackled cleaning and laundry tasks throughout the day.
Later on, Mansoor dropped by and asked if he could stay over. We ventured out for Korean barbecue, though it was late at night. Afterward, we returned home and had a few drinks, although Mansoor doesn't have much tolerance for alcohol. We kissed passionately. This time, we didn't hold back. He undressed me and sucked on my nipples. I asked if I could touch him, and with just a graze of my fingertips, he moaned. He was only wearing jogging pants. Not wanting to reveal everything, we turned off the lights. I started touching him, and he reciprocated. I got close, and so did he. He didn't have the habit of masturbating.
I've been watching porn so I learned how to hand job him. He had a big dick. It's thick and about the size of the tip of my middle finger to my wrist. It's brown ish but the tip is reddish. It's my first time to see a real penis.
We were both drunk and drunk in lust.
He fingered me but it hurt so I told him to do it carefully.
He brought out a pack of condoms. Something was different about him; it was as if he had awakened. We were exchanging "I love yous." He successfully wrapped himself with the condom on his first try, but it hurt, so he had to stimulate me a lot. I endured the pain the second time he pushed in, but it still hurt. He ejaculated within five minutes, but I didn't. We laughed about it.
We tried a second time; this time, although it still hurt a bit, it felt good. I didn't climax, but it felt good.
I bled. We were happy. We were no longer virgins.
On Monday morning, we woke up together and continued our routine with a jog but I couldn't move, then grabbed breakfast at McDonald's. We were still recovering from the previous night's escapades when Mansoor surprised me with an "I LOVE YOU" message made from fries and ketchup on a burger wrapper.
Meanwhile, my mother returned alone to handle some banking matters, so I stayed home to assist her.
When I picked her up from the junction, she didn't seem well, so I checked on her condition and reassured her. During our conversation, she asked about Mansoor and if we were sexually active. I clarified that we weren't, emphasizing his respectful nature. I lied because my cherry just got popped last night. I felt guilty.
She expressed her wish for me to prioritize finishing school first, and I assured her that was my plan.
The next day, we visited several banks together, and I helped her with the market errands. There was a minor hiccup when I couldn't drive the car up, which irked her without clear reason, leading to a tense moment of silence.
Wednesday, I suggested she rest for a while, but she insisted on returning to Dad promptly, citing their need for assistance. She did stay for a brief respite, allowing me to focus on my routine of work, reading, gym sessions, and household chores.
Thursday morning, I dropped her off at the station, after which Mansoor and I enjoyed another evening together. We did it again and I climaxed for the first time. It felt good. We were having proper sex. But he couldn't last long.
I came too because I was roo excited and horny.
"I hope you don't leave me," I said. I was wearing a long t-shirt already while he was still naked under my sheets.
"I mean if you would, just tell me straight not be like a jerk and suddenly becomes cold."
"I promise." He said. We kissed one more time before sleeping.
Friday involved a morning jog with Walt and Hollmae, fulfilling a prior commitment, although I secretly preferred cuddling in bed with Mansoor. Later in the afternoon, Mrs. Gloria returned with her daughter Dana, sharing plenty of stories. She spoke at length, but at least she settled their long overdue payment of 10,000.00.
Saturday was a quiet day. I opted to stay indoors, avoiding the bathroom, and kept to myself.
Mansoor and I met at night I told him we couldn't stay at home because visitors.
I could drive now at night but up to a point. We were driving only around Legarda where it was flat. We stopped somewhere with that abandoned cyclical building. It was scary. He and I started kissing in the car.
We went at the back and made out. He had condoms with him. We had sex and it was a bit better this time.
It did still hurt a bit but after him thrusting, I could feel pleasure. He's dick is really a lot for me to take in so I opened my legs wide. We were kissing and the windows are fogging up.
"It gets better if we practice a lot!" I moaned.
We made love again. We were already clothed at the back.
He went home and so did I but I was super careful driving at night.
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21. It’s recently felt like my heart is useless/loving people is useless and a way to waste precious resources foolishly. To not see the use in loving people is a terrible state for me to be in, which I’m in right now. What’s the use? What good does it do? It even seems right now to only make people worse and treat me worse and feel worse about themselves the more I try to do it. I should keep it to myself at the very least, my logical mind says. War is boring, only love is interesting. I don’t do anything out of war anymore. I only do things for peace. War fucking sucks, even winning sucks, as previously mentioned. Again, you never win anything worth having, at least, not to me in my current state/state of mind, at the moment. Nothing worth the fight it took to win it. I don’t want no fucking glory. Fuck the glory, it just looks like my own blood. Blood all looks the same, love when real is always different and cool. And useful. At least, it’s supposed to be, when the world isn’t fucked up, as it’s tending to be. War’s out. Love’s out. What else do I do with my heart? Gently, quietly, systematically, clean my own life, I guess. In the meantime. Try to maintain an invented way that I’m loved and known. Live and wait. I guess. What else is there to do? I just want to love someone I trust. All I’ve got left to do in life is practice skills, do chores, increasingly parent myself, and that’s about it. I used to have all these side missions. I tell ya, winning/overcoming things isn’t all its chalked up to be. My future: “check it out: *sadly and limply demonstrates a well learned skill of some kind, and then finishes and falls down in sadness flat facedown onto the floor*. Buying things. Knowing things. Being able to function somewhat better. Not being as much in debt. Nothing worth looking forward to for me, in my opinion. Why impress the loveless? Why do something common and normal like it’s really worth showing off? No point planning for that kind of future/self. All I’ve got is myself and the love I invent in my own mind. I’ve got no self worth. That’s the big main project. Overall. I just hate myself. So much. Because I’m still not better. I was supposed to be better by now. I’m so old now. And no one cares about anything I do. I’m no longer a relevant figure in the global market, as they say. Only I could get my first good adult job and just cry and panic and despair on end about it for days and days. I just know I’ll ruin it. And have to try again and again and again. I am just a baby. I am just a babe in the woods. I am so weak. And you are doing this to me?! You’re demanding this of me, o reality?! Fuck you! I can barely function at all just even on days where I don’t work at all! I’m barely living! I could ask what the fuck I’m supposed to do, but I know the answer: fail. And I’m gonna, oh boy, am I gonna. Won’t take long. I’m way too unloved as an entire state of being at the moment to be able to take this on. Oh man. Oh no. Not likely. Not likely at all. No one has less faith in me and love for me than myself. I haven’t hated myself this much in a long long time I think. It hasn’t been this intense, this acute, this future-defining of a feeling. This hopeless and complete. All I can do is just hope and pray that I find a way to be loved soon, because I don’t think I can do it for myself at the moment. I’m trying, I’ve been trying so hard. And the need to be loved is so intense. I just…can’t, at the moment. My body can deal with a lot, but the one thing it can’t seem to deal with at the moment is it’s own soul. None of this will be too much for my body, I’ve done it all before just fine. It’s all just too much for my soul. Going in there, trying once again for no reason to make them see and understand and like me and remember me, when I should be focusing on tasks at hand, and failing and embarrassing myself over and over and over until they fire me, as if it’s some process I enjoy putting myself through. A new set of people into my heart. I just can’t take it right now. I’ve got enough on it’s scale already, tons.
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Happy Monday! Tarot reading for the week
Hey lovelies, this is a new series among many, that I will be doing every Monday and Friday! Usually they will be simple card draws, such as a quick read like this one. Mondays you can usually expect "prepping for the week to come" sort of readings, and Fridays will usually be reflective type readings.
I want to start by saying, this deck just, *chef's kiss*, so beautifully, yet, brutally honest. This is the Crow Tarot deck by Mj Cullinane, and it is not afraid to slap you in the face when you need it. That said this week, she was very kind. I sincerely believe this is a message for the masses.
For future reference, when I do a tarot reading, I GENERALLY ask a question for each card pulled. This is completely different from when I am doing a reading with my Ogham alphabet, or my runes.
-What can we expect this week?
I pulled the Chariot in the upright position. This card signifies that we should be moving through this next week with confidence. Whatever goal you have been working towards will see amazing progress. There is a catch here, you must have been already putting in the work for this to happen. Not only that, but you need to continue to put in the grind this week. Just know it will happen. The light is at the end of the tunnel.
-What is going to be the biggest challenge this week?
For this one, I pulled Two of Wands in the reversed position. Oh boy, for people out there like me with ADHD and want nothing more to be wonderfully successful in all of their intentions, hold onto your butts. This card, in this position, urges us to prioritize the tasks we must do in order to achieve our goal(s) from the first card pull. Why might this be challenging? Well almost every goal out there has at least a couple different ways of achieving it. But which choice or path is providing the highest quality outcome? Ask yourself, what is maybe blocking you from doing that one silly task? Is it fear? Or simply a tiny list of prerequisite tasks? Either way, when I said you will still need to grind this week, I meant it. Get that shit done. You'll feel better.
-How can we be successful?
After I pulled the first card for this question, I felt I needed to pull a clarifying card. The first card I pulled for this was Page of Pentacles reversed. This card begs us to identify those potential blockages I mentioned earlier. Remember, while deciding how to go about reaching your goal this week, what sort of effort are you willing to put out in order to achieve this goal? Which parts are worth the energy, and which tasks are distractions?
The next card I pulled for this question was Six of Cups in the upright position. This card is the answer to our struggle in prioritizing tasks. First though, this card requires you to reflect back on not only what makes your heart full, but also what exactly makes reaching this goal worth it to you. Why is it important? Remember, the goal can be as simple as cleaning up your apartment. Does it need to be super clean? What pulls you out of the state of executive dysfunction you have been stuck in for months? Can you get by doing small 5 minute chores for the week? How much rest do you need in order to be able to be productive? Yeah, rest. This card also serves as a reminder to treat our bodies and souls with a little more love. What task can you do to help you clear your head of the anxious thoughts surrounding reaching this goal?
-Final Words
Basically, keep your chin up and stay focused. Do not slow your roll this week, but do know there is a light at the end of this as long as you put in the required amount of work. The reading this week encourages us to follow the path we have been planning all this time, and not to veer off of our path just yet, as our time of success is definitely on the horizon.
As always, if you would like to support me and my business, give me a follow! Or go check out my tiny store where I am currently selling a wonderfully buttery herbal salve- www.theherbalsanctuary13.com
Thanks for reading!
#tarot#mondaytarot#divination#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#witch community#free tarot#tarot witch#tarot reading
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Linden & Colton - 19
(masterpost)
CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation
-
Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.
Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.
lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day
are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something
you know you miss me!!
Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.
fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc
That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:
Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.
Vik replied almost immediately.
yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!
He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.
He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”
“Hey, big man. You alright?”
“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”
“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”
Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”
“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”
“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”
“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”
“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.
“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”
“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”
“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.
“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”
Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”
“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”
“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”
“See you, Pet man!”
Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.
. . .
He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.
He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.
Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.
“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”
Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.
“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”
The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.
“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”
He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?
Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.
But-
The next day-
It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-
Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.
All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.
The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”
. . .
Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.
“Col?” he said. “What is it?”
“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”
“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.
“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.
Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”
“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”
Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.
“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”
-
Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.
“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”
He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”
“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.
“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”
“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.
“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”
Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.
“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”
“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.
“Well… actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”
“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”
“The ladies love it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”
. . .
Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.
Before that, though-
Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.
Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.
The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.
“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.
“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”
He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.
. . .
Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.
You see, see what I mean? See how he is?
Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.
I’m sorry.
Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.
He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.
“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”
He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.
“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”
As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”
It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.
The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.
-
first half of the taglist!
@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread
@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate
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“Nights in Detroit”
Connor x Gender neutral reader
Summary: Since the revolution, You’ve been struggling to keep up with everything, and the stress catches up to you. Luckily, the perfect person help comes along and makes everything better.
And even changes the relationship you guys thought was already enough.
Warnings: Self harm, Angst (with a happy ending)
—————————————————————————
The cold breeze blew against the skin on my face. I reached my hand to my mouth and put the cigarette I had in between my middle and my pointer finger to my mouth to get a hit of the smoke. The nicotine I inhaled burnt my throat and lungs, but it wasn’t painful. No. It was a distraction. A distraction from the hell I’ve been through this week. Its been at least 2 weeks since the android revolution, and life has been horrible since. Every single bad thought is back. And Connor isn’t getting better with his deviance. He betrayed his own kind, and stood against his creators. He betrayed himself and his own programming by becoming something he wasn’t supposed to be. He was human, whether he liked it or not. He was programmed to hunt deviants, not turn into one. And the feelings he’s feeling aren’t familiar to him, leaving him hopeless and afraid of whats to come. Helping him with his emotions is far from easy, especially considering the fact I have to perform top in my detective work to avoid the risk of being fired or replaced. RK900 could outdo whatever I could do having him be able to do one million tasks in just a few seconds. He was better than me. I need this job.
My own mental health isn’t going great. Everything’s a chore. Even getting out of bed. No amount of caffeine can help with this mental and physical tiredness. The nicotine isn’t helping either. The 3rd cigarette of the day now getting lit as I lean against a metal fence in an alleyway high up, overlooking Detroit. It was a beautiful place, but it wasn’t the place I wanted to go. I wanted someplace secluded and alone, and this is the furthest thing from that. Though I’ve met great people here.
“Detective?”
I hear a voice call out from the entry of the alley.
“What?”
I knew who it was. It was Connor.
I closed my eyes and sighed, putting out the cigarette on the fence. I stretched out my strained back and groaned. Tears forming in my eyes shortly after the stretch.
“I’m glad I found you here. Lieutenant Anderson told me you might be here.”
“Yeah, well he knows me best,” I chuckled a bit “What do you want.” Connor inched closer towards me. I knew he was analyzing me. He always did.
“Your heart rate seems to be higher than normal, and you seem agitated. Is there something the matter? I can leave if you need.”
My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t want him to leave.
“No. I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”
“Oh. Okay then. Lieutenant Anderson asked me to check on you and make sure you were okay.”
“Well I’m alright, you don’t need to worry.”
“That doesn’t seem to be the case. You’re showing signs of poor mental health. And you’ve been pushing your limits and not sleeping lately. The bags under your eyes seem to be getting deeper. You’ve also been talking down on yourself, I’ve overheard.”
I scoffed.
“You’ve been eavesdropping?”
“No, that’s not the case.”
“Then what? No one else cares about my health, why the sudden interest?”
“I’ve been worried. Worried you might harm yourself again. I don’t want that for you, Detective. I care for you too much.”
I felt my legs tiring. There was a voice who wanted me to spill everything onto him. But he didn’t deserve that. I needed to keep it to myself, even if it meant ruining myself more.
“Connor. Please. Just leave me alone.”
“I’m not leaving. You even have fresh blood on your arm. Is that from self harm?”
“Connor.”
“Have you been cutting again.”
His sudden stern tone of voice threw me off.
“Connor. Please.”
Tears forming into my eyes, and slowly falling down my cold face. The salty liquid falling down to my mouth. I covered my face with my hand.
“I’m so sorry. I know how hard this must be for you. I know you never wanted to be born. I love you. I always have. Even if I refused to believe it, the feeling was always lingering. I just put it off. But it’s just there. Everyday I know how much you’re hurting and it hurts me. The cutting, the drugs, the parties, the alcohol, the self depreciation. You don’t deserve any of that. You aren’t useless and you certainly aren’t hated. I’ve overheard Officer Reed talking to Officer Tina about how he respects and admires your work. You’re such an amazing Detective. I’m so sorry the world has made you think otherwise, my love.”
At this point, I didn’t try to hide my face. The tears pouring down my emotionless face.
“Connor. I’m so sorry that you overheard me talking about myself. I,”
I thought about what I was going to say. What if he wasn’t being true? What if he doesn’t love me back? What if it’s just a prank?
“I love you too. So much. I cherish our time together. Every moment we spend together, it feels like I’m becoming better. Like my depression is gone. Seconds without you feel like years. I love you so much.”
He was only two feet away from me at this point. In the edge of my vision, I saw him reach his hand towards me. And then his other one. I turned to face him, and looked into his eyes and smiled. He knew I was crying. He leaned over to my face and kissed the salty tears on my cheek. As he leaned back to look at me one more time, I smiled and took his lips before he could mine. He stepped forward and wrapped his hands behind my back, and I put my hands behind his head, intertwining my fingers and his hair. He deepened the kiss as two more tears fell down my cheeks. His led on his temple glowing a beautiful blue. I broke the kiss and looked at his beautiful face and took in his pure beauty. His dark brown hair and his dark chocolate eyes which flourished perfectly with the city lights. The freckles placed perfectly along his face, and the strands of hair that fell down his forehead. He may be wearing his Cyberlife outfit, but he looked amazing in it. He looked amazing in everything. Even on Jericho, he looked astounding. Ethereal even.
I closed my eyes and huffed a bit, leaning my head down.
“Who programmed to do that?”
“I may not be the most advanced prototype anymore, but I still have a few tricks that Nines might not have.”
Laughing at the response, I looked at him once more. He smiled. And it was beautiful. When he first joined the DPD, his smiles seemed fake and forced. But now, they feel more human. More comfortable and more him.
“I love you, Connor.”
“I love you more, Y/N,”
#connor dbh#connor rk800#rk800connor#dbh fanfic#detroit#deteoit become human#connor x reader#dbh connor#fanfic
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hi! i'm sage and i was going through the "hestia devotee" tag and found a post of yours that said you were open for questions about her. i don't know how old that post is or if you're still taking questions, you can ignore this if you're not, but since i'm here i wanted to talk/ask about something.
i'm a baby witch (like the babiest of babies, almost a new born) and most of my experience is through reading and watching since i don't currently have time or resources to do any practice other than lighting incenses or candles or working with crystals. and i definitely don't know any form of divination, like tarot or pendulum, that would allow me to do actual deity work and properly communicate with them.
the thing is, i've researched deities from multiple pantheons multiple times, mostly out of curiosity, but the moment i came across a prayer to hestia my heart skipped a beat and i immediately felt a kind of comfort. it could have been nothing, but i still researched all i could about her and just. i've never felt this drawn to a deity before, much less felt a pull to actually worship one. but i feel very much that way about her.
i looked up ways to honour her and i'm genuinely shocked at how happy it's been making me. i'm finding joy in domestic activities i used to loathe, like washing the dishes or helping with house cleaning. i tried baking a cake all by myself for the first time and lit an orange candle for her while doing it. it turned out absolutely delicious, i discovered i actually really enjoy baking and even started my own cook notebook with some of my grandma's old recipes. i make a point to always tie my hair back when i'm doing something that makes me think of her or in her honour, like making tea or baking or making dinner for my family or cleaning, because i saw people talking about how she appreciates veiling but i don't know how to do it so i just tie my hair in a bun instead of putting on a scarf. and i used to hate tying my hair, but now i feel very good about it!
i've always struggled with feeling connected to religion and never really understood how that could bring peace to someone, but i haven't felt this grounded or loving towards my family and pets or in peace with myself as much as i have since i started doing things as acts of devotion to hestia.
now, on to the actual problem: i'm scared it's all in my head. i'm worried i'm not enough of a witch to worship a deity yet, since i'm still trying to learn ways of communication and can't directly ask her if she's with me. i'm scared that the little things i'm doing aren't enough and the comfort and faith i feel while doing them are my imagination and not actually her watching over me and appreciating my effort.
anyways, i'm really sorry for dumping these worries on you but i didn't see many hestia related blogs and i really needed to ask someone about this. is what i'm doing enough of a worship right now? do you have any tips on how to worship her better? thank you!
Hi Sage! I don’t know when you sent this ask so I’m sorry if it’s been a while since you sent it and my response is late. When I read this ask for the first time I nearly cried tears of joy. Before anything I do want to say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!
I’m always open to questions about Hestia.
First off, there is no prerequisite to worshipping deities. I am admittedly not a witch and worship the gods exclusively for religious reasons and not for witchcraft. I have not learned many divination methods yet (although I have used the very handy Greek Alphabet Oracle a few times) and my rituals are still relatively basic, mostly not even occurring on an altar. But I have felt Hestia. I have been in her presence. I have received dreams from other deities and signs. None of this is required to happen to believe in or worship the theoi, but I just want to assure you that beyond doing some research to figure out who you want to pray to and how to do prayer and ritual, there are no prerequisites to worship. My first prayer to Hestia was literally me throwing a scarf over my head and talking to her in the dark with a flashlight to represent a flame. No formal structure. Didn’t even know how to correctly hold my hands yet. And still she accepted me.
The vibe you get from Hestia is very much similar to my experience. I’ve been drawn to her for YEARS but didn’t know I could worship her. But she’s always felt like home and comfort and just right for me. I never ever had a reason why she was my favorite deity before becoming pagan. She just was. My connection to Hestia has been a fact for over a decade that I just didn’t know was religious until a year and a half ago. Me wondering if I could worship her is the reason why I started researching Hellenic Polytheism in the first place. She brought me to this faith and I am so thankful to her for that.
You finding joy in domestic activities you used to hate is something I’ve discovered through Hestia too, although it’s still a journey I’m early on due to depression and physical disability and having a lot of work to do on figuring out how to make things accessible for me. I’m excited to go further for and with Hestia.
I understand the thought about it being all in your head. I had those thoughts early in my practice too. Basically, belief is a process. It takes time to switch from whatever religious thought (or lack thereof) that you grew up with to polytheism and worshipping a variety of deities or even just one deity, and from there to truly believing in them. I’ve been practicing for a year and a half and it probably took me at least nine months to truly feel secure in my faith in the theoi. Research, pray, do ritual, devote acts to the gods, think about the gods, notice the influence of the theoi in your daily life, and gradually that belief will solidify. You may or may not receive signs, which may or may not speed this process up. I promise, if you want to believe in the gods, in Hestia, it just takes time.
Also on feeling that you aren’t doing enough, the video at the bottom of this post (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhRRYqQo8Y) might help. And I promise: you are doing enough, you are enough, just as you are.
Now as for worship tips. You are honestly doing great so far. Thinking of her while doing household chores and tasks or dedicating those tasks for her is a great way to worship her. I’d also recommend checking out her Homeric and Orphic hymns, one translation of which can be found here, and a copy of the Homeric hymns can likely be found at a local bookstore or definitely through online ordering. The Homeric hymns can also start to teach you some stuff about prayer structure, but prayer doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes I just sit and talk to Hestia, or to any of my other deities. Tell them about my day, thank them for things in my life or the world, and sometimes asking them for things (although I find that I ask for aid much more rarely than when I prayed as the Catholic I was raised to be). I also have perpetually in progress playlists I have made for my deities, and if I want to spend some non-ritual time just focusing on a deity I’ll put on their playlist and read something religious or talk in religious discords. I actually had my most profound spiritual experience with Hestia while doing this.
Last but not least, worshipping Hestia, or any other deity, is something you have your whole life ahead of you to do. Take it at your own pace. Faith is all about the journey. The destination is irrelevant. There is no deadline or leveling up system, no authority checking your progress. As I have experienced time and time again, the gods will very much meet you where you are. A few months ago I was in a deep depression and did not do any ritual for several months. When I finally did a ritual again, I felt Hestia’s warm hand on my shoulder, as if to say “I miss you, welcome home”. I promise, Hestia will always welcome you home.
youtube
P.S. I know this ask is anonymous but Sage, feel free to message me with any additional questions about Hestia or worshipping deities in general. I’m here if you need any more help.
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