#but exciting. like mentally i’ve graduated

[cafffine]

applying for full time jobs …….. scary

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

I. “the club within the club”

parts: next

plot: when you find yourself needing a topic for a journalism final, you seek out an interview from Gotham’s elusive vigilante: Batman. this proves even more difficult than it already sounds, and tensions rise when you discover an intimate secret—just as Bruce Wayne realizes his own.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+ MATURE! NSFW! canon-typical violence, slow burn, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, forced proximity, eventual smut, mutual pining, POV alternating, Bruce Wayne needs a hug, mental health issues (psychosis, suicidality), substance use, blackmail (or is it?), serious health issues, grief, brief mention of sa, gaslighting, mild gore

words: 2.1k

a/n: this is my first fic i’ve posted to tumblr and ao3, very excited to see how people like it ✨ same user on ao3 :) comments and reblogs are so appreciated! 💖

"I haven’t turned in the assignment yet, I'm so sorry," You fumbled with your book and it slipped forward on the desk. Your professor wasn't too happy with you; already a week late, this assignment was creating a piece of journalism about happenings around the city—the city was used loosely, because it was school policy not to require students be in the field for assignments. You never wanted to linger on what might have caused that rule to be enforced.

Dr. Vry was usually the picture of impatience, though she had a soft spot for you—she described you as a ‘journalistic prodigy’. You couldn’t see it, and it didn't help that you couldn't write your final piece when graduation was so near. While you’d done well in the intro courses, now that the material was more complex… you were struggling. She would say it was all in your head, and the only thing holding you back was lack of confidence in your burgeoning journalism skills, but you weren’t so sure. You had come from a sociology background but had interest in learning journalism with your last few credits, unaware how much grief this would cause you.

"Y/N, you're overthinking it.” She gently shook her head, her salt and pepper hair unmoving in the slick bun. “I'll extend it until the end of next week without point reduction. But after that it's out of my hands!" With that you thanked her, hurrying out of the class with your book tightly squeezed to your chest. Thank god, you thought. I can't fail out of a class in my last term.

That evening you holed up in your apartment per usual. You absentmindedly texted your one friend here, Margaret, but knew she was out clubbing. You’d met in a sociology course last year when you transferred. She had been the only one kind enough to show you around the city, the social butterfly she was; holding your hand as she dragged you from bar to bar, club to club. This led to a cat and mouse dynamic between you both: her always hopping to the next party albeit the occasional pit stop in your apartment and you, the reclusive homebody. You hadn’t always been so subdued, but you hadn’t always lived in the crime capital of the US.

You longed for more companionship, but focused on how you'd be leaving Gotham after graduation. The sting of loneliness here was too great, and it was no use stringing more people along. Mar had snuck her way into a crack in the first few months of your arrival. Back when you thought you might find something here. Back before you were proven wrong, and you’d given up on this godforsaken city.

Mar didn’t usually respond but tonight, she did.

Y/N, get your ass to the club! I miss you.

You chuckled a little to yourself at the idea of getting all ready to be sweaty in a room full of strangers. No thanks, have fun!

Within a second she had disliked your message and sent another: You'll find more inspo here than in your studio. I'm sending a taxi, be ready in 10

You groaned and threw the phone down. Ugh. You were tired from a long day of classes, and didn't want to pay to be humped by random clubgoers. Men in Gotham were nasty, taking every opportunity to try and get something from a woman. Plastered all across downtown were blistered posters with a faded number to report drink tampering. You should have expected as much with the city’s reputation, but coming from a small town you were naive. You picked up your phone and her text stared back at you. The day’s exhaustion had worn on your resolve, and the longer you looked at her text, the closer you were to giving in. More inspiration... she might be right. You looked around at your empty walls and the waning light outside, the sun rapidly giving way to a dark, rainy abyss.

Fine, only for an hour.

You reluctantly walked over to your closet to pick an outfit. This was gonna be a long night.

You found yourself standing out under your apartment patio, shivering in your dress. You chose something subtle: mini, dark, with some heels to match, though you admittedly didn’t have many options. You’d hurried and only put on lashes, lipgloss, and brow gel, because you thought your driver would be on time. Staring out at the flashing headlights threatened a migraine, so you whipped out your phone and went onto Scypher, a Gotham-area social media. You didn't bother going on very often, only on the rare occasion Mar dragged you out into the city. There was a handy 'Crime' tab, which had up-to-the-minute updates. It seemed pretty empty, only some car vandalisms the past hour. Hmm. You felt uneasy, the environment unusually calm for a Friday evening. Maybe it's a good thing. Wouldn't want to go out during a crime surge. You looked up as you heard a tire tempt the curb. Your driver called out your name, and you slunk into the backseat.

The drive was quick, with clubs practically on every corner. Mar hadn't told you which one, so you weren't prepared when the car pulled up to one of the most elite clubs in the city. Your face went pale, and your voice cracked as you failed making excuses to the driver. "I'm so sorry, my friend must have given you the wrong directions—"

"No, it's correct." He was stern, and when you started taking out cash to pay, he waved a dismissive hand toward you. "Your friend already paid, Miss." Flustered, and frankly confused he hadn’t sneakily accepted double payment, you thanked him and stepped out. The line wasn't too long, so you got behind a few people who were laughing hysterically. You noticed some green tinfoil out of their pocket: Drops. You forgot all the biggest dealers hung around here every night. What was Mar thinking bringing you here?

The line moved fast so you didn't have time to find an excuse to leave. You held out your ID to the burly, tall bouncer who gave you a once-over and a smirk. You stifled a groan, hating being looked at like a meal. Living in Gotham meant always feeling eyes on the back of your neck. The bouncer grinned and handed back your card, holding out another hand for the club fee. Shit. You fumbled in your bag and realized you didn't know the amount. Sheepishly, you looked over from your bag and scanned the wall behind him as quickly as possible. $50. Jesus. You managed to find three twenties crumpled at the bottom of your bag, and begrudgingly handed them over. He smiled and opened the door for you. "No change."

Well, guess I'm eating ramen this week.

Your ears began ringing the second you entered the booming club. People were packed in like sardines, and before you could even muster a thought you were grabbed fast from behind. You suppressed a scream.

"Y/N!!!" Mar wrapped you in a hug and you grabbed her to steady yourself. "Shit, Mar,"

"You look SO good! Fuck yeah!" She smiled and smacked your butt as she took your hand and led you towards the stairs. You hadn’t gotten much of a look, but her eyes looked bleary, red. "I met some guys that got us a lounge!" She was giggling but you pulled back, wincing. You'd already been sufficiently creeped on by the bouncer.

You rolled your eyes. "I thought this was a girl's night,"

She shook her head, grinning. "C'mon Y/N, get loose!" As she turned back to step up the stairs, a circle of green tinfoil fell from her pocket. You yanked your hand back, frustrated. No fuckin’ wonder. She was wasted. "MAR." You bent down to pick up the litter just as a man came up behind you, grinding against your ass. A bit of his drink spilled on your side, and you spun around to shove him back. Mar stepped up, always a willing wingman. "Hey, don't fuck with a woman like that, bitch!"

BAM BAM BAM BAM. Popping noises that sounded like gunshots rang out from the far corner of the bar. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. You grabbed for the railing to head for the exit when people running from downstairs rammed into you. After a few seconds desperately straining your vision to look for Mar, you covered your head with your arms while you ducked. The gunshots inched closer and closer, egging on your heart rate, curdling your thoughts sour. I shouldn't have come. I don't want to die. I shouldn't be here. What the fuck am I doing here? I shouldn't have come. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm going to fucking die.

You heard a rapid increase in gunfire and then a total ceasing. You wanted to look up, but it was too terrifying. Sweat beaded on your entire body as it became electrified with adrenaline—you had known how unsafe Gotham was, you just hadn't seen yourself in the crossfire… until now. You squeezed your eyes shut, pushing yourself hard against the side of the stair to try and make your body as small as possible. You wondered if everyone else had been killed, and they were looking for any survivors… The rough concrete texture burrowed itself into your arm as you jammed it even harder, forcing yourself to be compact. I could be dead with just one bullet.

Before more morbid thoughts could form, you yelped as you felt your body being lifted and slung over someone's shoulder. Something was hard and slick against your stomach, and you opened your eyes manically to see the world whizzing around you. The arm that held you was strong, so strong you couldn't slip out if you tried. You ducked your head as the person ran you both toward the back exit with total ease. Panic started to set in. It's so dark. Who is this? Is he gonna have his way with me?

As soon as you were brought an alley down, fully away from the chaos, you began fighting against the stranger. The streets were so dark you still could hardly see, but it felt like the person was armored. You’d heard some small grunts from them on the short sprint here, or maybe you’d imagined them? Regardless, you couldn’t place the voice while your ears were still bright with tinnitus. You shouted, trying with all your might to shove them off of you, to no avail. "Let me GO!"

"Stop fighting." A low, gravelly voice spoke right next to your ear. You continued struggling to the point you felt a bruise forming on your bottom ribs. It was as if the entire world had zoomed in, and nothing mattered more than escaping. You drew a quick breath, tensing your body to fight. This motherfucker isn't gonna let me go, is he?

Without warning he relinquished his grasp and you slid off the man, landing squarely in a puddle. You looked up and through the darkness saw a masked man clad in deepest black... the Batman.

"Thanks, uh," You immediately broke eye contact, feeling awkward. The tornado of panic in your chest relaxed ever so slightly. You felt bad for fighting so hard against him, but you hadn’t known any better. Before you could fully realize the gravity of what had just happened, how Vengeance himself was standing before you, he noticed something glint behind your ear.

"Turn around." The voice was low and gravelly still, and you spun around instantaneously. You'd heard good things about the Batman in your year and a half here. A few of your classmates had direct experience with him, having been saved on one occasion or another. "He never stuck around, he was always gone as quickly as he came." It seemed almost instinctual to trust him. And, his voice brooked no argument.

Suddenly the back of your head lit up in flaming pain.

"You need stitches." He stepped back and through the deadened night you saw a screen light up on his arm. "Victim with head wound on Feller and Kelley." You heard a faint 'Roger' before the screen went black. Fear shot through you the same time as relief. You were safe, but you had to get a needle snaked through your scalp. The thought made you physically ill.

To your surprise, he was already halfway down the alleyway when you looked back; just as he turned out of view, police lights illuminated the alleyway. Holy fuck, you'd just met the Batman.

And you hadn’t gotten a good look at him.

[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

Stress Relief | Katsuki Bakugo x Reader

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ship: Katsuki Bakugo x AFAB Reader 💋

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A quick unedited one shot where the reader is stressed and Katsuki decides to help her de-stress :) Nothing complicated here, just sexy vibes.

CW: MDNI!, A18+, kissing, romance, sexual tension, spicy scenes, fingering, lemon, Smut, Dirty Talk, Hurt/Comfort

It’s dark in your dorm when Katsuki Bakugo slips through the unlocked door. You’re starting to fall asleep when you see the door open a crack, the light from the hallway illuminating his pale features with its glow.

You’re exhausted and not in the mood to talk to him, not after the day you had. You glare at him from your bed as he quietly shuts the door behind you.

“Come on, babe. Don’t give me that look.” He groans, padding over to your bed and slipping beneath the covers beside you. “You know that I can’t take it easy on you when we spar. You don’t get special treatment in class just because you’re my girlfriend.”

You turn away from him to face the wall, ignoring him. Not only had Katsuki hit you with an over the top, uncalled for special move in training – it was a move you had never seen before. You had thought the two of you shared absolutely everything. You were almost at the end of your third year at UA, chasing graduation. For the past year and a half, you two had been daydreaming about starting a hero agency together. If Katsuki had hid an insane special move from you only to bring it out in a simple training match…what else was he hiding?

“I know that look.” He says as he wraps his arms around you. He’s so strong and sturdy you can’t help but melt into him. “I didn’t tell you about the move because I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you would be more excited about it, honestly. Come on, babe. Don’t be mad.”

You sigh, your whole body sore from where he walloped you with his overenthusiastic explosion earlier that day. Finally, you acknowledge him. “I’ve showed you all of my special moves – even the secret ones. And yet…you kept this insane move a secret even from me. Sometimes I don’t think you trust me.”

He’s quiet for a moment, rolling your words around in his mind. When he does speak, there’s a tinge of hurt in his voice. A vulnerability that only a few people will ever hear form Katsuki Bakugo. “Babe…I didn’t realize I was keeping it a secret. I was really excited to show you. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t trust you. You’re the only person who knows absolutely all of me. You gotta believe that.” He squeezes his arms lightly around you, reinforcing the words.

You huff with frustration. “Yeah, I know, okay? I’m just really achy and pissed off that you decided to debut some flashy move while fighting me. Why couldn’t you unleash it on Kaminari or Kirishima?”

He buries his face in the back of your neck. “I was tryin’ to impress ya, is all.”

“I’d be a lot more impressed if you didn’t blast the hell out of me during a training exercise.” You try to scoot away from him and end up stretching out your muscles at an odd angle. You cry out softly at the pain.

“Did I hurt ya that bad?” He says, concern lacing his words. “You’re made of such tough stuff…but maybe I took things a little too far in the ring.” His hands run across your body soothingly, trying to rub out any aches and pains that he may have caused during your sparring.

“It’s fine. Honestly, it was a really stressful day and your new ‘special move’ was just the icing on top of the cake. I just need it to be the weekend already.” You sigh out. The past few weeks have been so stressful at school and at your work study. You’re tired and overworked, and you could really just use a break. Katsuki unleashing the full force of his explosion hell on you in class was definitely not something you were mentally or physically prepared for – all you want to do now is rest.

“I know you’ve been real stressed lately. Sorry if I added to it.” He mumbles into your shoulder, leaving light kisses along your skin. You shiver when you feel the tip of his tongue dart out to trace a shape on the sensitive skin of your clavicle.

“Hey…you know what we haven’t done in a while?” His voice suddenly brightens and his hand snakes down to grip your stomach lightly over your shirt. “I can think of a great way to give you a good dose of stress relief.” He smooths his hand down the plane of your stomach and finds the hem of your shirt, dipping underneath the thin fabric so that he can fan out his fingers across your delicate skin. “Let me take your stress away with my fingertips, sweetheart.” He begins to run his fingers back and forth under the waistband of your sweatpants. The sensual touch causes a sparking sensation to gather down in your core. Everywhere he touches, goose bumps pop up on your skin.

“…Kats.” You say, warningly. The walls of the dorm are notoriously thin, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of Mr. Aizawa’s lectures about safe sex, creating a culture of respect, the dorm rules, etc.

“Just keep quiet. I’ll make it quick as I can. No one ever has to know.” He leans in and starts to plant slow, open mouthed kisses along your neck, his fingers dipping lower and into dangerous territory. He brings the palm of his hand to rest right above your panties and slowly starts to circle your clit from over the delicate cotton fabric.

“Oh.” You breathe out, your body coming back to life as Katsuki touches you. He’s always so direct, so sure of himself. His approach to sex is reflective of that – don’t beat around the bush, just get to the heart of the pleasure.

“Yeah?” He whispers wetly before nipping at your earlobe. “You like when I touch you here?”

“Duh.” You hiss through your teeth. Katsuki pulls his hand away from your pussy and you almost cry out at the loss of contact. He brings his ring and middle fingers to his mouth and sucks, coating them in a thick sheen of saliva. He then moves to touch you again, this time sliding his hand beneath your panties for better access. When his warm, wet fingers hit your clit – your body absolutely lights up. All aches and pains are gone – its just you, Katsuki, and his magical fingers.

He starts out slow, circling around your clit until your grinding your butt back into him. He loves this – spooning you while he gets you off. He loves a good power dynamic, and this is no exception. In this position, Katsuki has most of the control. He likes that you know it, too.

He circles your clit lazily for a while, letting you get a feel for it. As you start to buck into him, he decides to speed things up, dipping his fingers low so he can gather some slick from your entrance before sliding them back up to work more on your clit. Within seconds you’re begging for him to get inside you, and he obliges – slipping a single digit into you slowly while giving your clit the attention it deserves with his thumb. He lets you hump his hand, finding the angles that work best with your body and causing you to see stars.

It’s when he slips a second finger into you that you start to get close. You feel his cock harden against the curve of your ass, eager to please. He starts leaving a trail of hot hickies along your shoulder – sucking in your sensitive skin between his sharp teeth and then kissing over marks he leaves behind. The combination of sensations is far too much, and you feel yourself get closer and closer to falling off the edge. The way Katsuki's fingers are slipping, sliding, stretching...it's far too much. You want to groan in pleasure, but you keep your mouth shut as best you can.

His fingers pump in and out of you with practiced skill, and you clap a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from moaning out his name for all of the dorm to hear.

“Kats!” You say in a muffled voice from behind your hand. “Kats, I’m close.”

That’s all he needs to hear. He brings his fingers out of you to focus on your clit for a bit, drawing circles and triangles and figure eights and whatever other fuckin’ shapes he knows how to make around your sensitive bundle of nerves until your legs are shaking. Then, when he feels he’s gotten you hot and bothered enough, he slides two fingers deep into your cunt, flicking them in an attempt to hit your G spot.

And holy shit he does.

Katsuki hits that delicious spongy spot deep inside you and your body jerks with pleasure. He smirks at the reaction, proud of himself for figuring you out so quickly. He hits the spot again and again and again until your pussy tenses up and falls into one of the finest orgasms you’ve had in your life. You cum so easily, your whole body shaking as he takes you apart with nothing but his fingertips. The waves of the orgasm hit you full force, your body tingling and jerking in time with his targeted movements. He lets you ride out your orgasm, mumbling quiet praise into your ear as you grind through your high.

“That’s my good girl, so perfect for me. Cumming on my fingertips so nicely. Fuck babe. Fuck you’re gorgeous. Keep cumming for me please.”

His words are just as sexy as his hand down your pants, and you can’t believe how lucky you are to have landed someone as hot as Katsuki.

When you finally finish, he slides his hand out of your panties and pulls you close. He plants a hundred kisses across your neck and shoulder, happy to have been of service. You lay in silence for a moment – you catching your breath, him glowing with pride at a job well done.

“Did I manage to take away some of your stress?” He whispers cheekily. The damn idiot is so proud of himself, as always.

“S-sure.” You try to sound calm, cool and collected but the break in your voice is enough. Katsuki knows that he achieved exactly what he set out to do. You melt back into his chest and start to doze. What a day it's been! You're too tired to speak anymore, but you manage to squeak out: “Thanks babe. Love you.”

“Love ya, too.” He says, settling in under the covers and planting a last kiss on your back. “But I’m still not taking it easy on ya during training.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Is the last thing you say before drifting off into a sound sleep.

[siriusblackloml]

Day 4 - Neville Longbottom (Kinktober 2023)

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1500+

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: swearing, baby/babygirl nicknames, oral (male receiving), friends with benefits (MDNI 18+)

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist┊Day 5

“I’ve never had a blowjob before.” Neville shrugged as he laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

You knew the moment the words slipped from Neville’s mouth, you just had to be the one to change that for him. I mean, that’s what best friends were for, obviously.

Your jaw dropped at the shocking news. Unsure as to how this topic of conversation even began in the first place, the two of you were simply sharing stories about your different experiences with people. Intimate moments, to be more specific. Apparently Neville had very few experiences; not to say he was a complete virgin or anything. He’s been around with a couple girls, but these same girls were not ones to really go down on him in that way. He shared a quick story about both experiences just ending with something else rather than a blowjob. Which at the time he was fine with, but since then he’s just wished he’d finally meet someone who would want to give him one.

Neville had been your best friend at Hogwarts since day one. You guys were closer than ever and it was truly shocking that you hadn’t tried making a move on him before (especially since you’ve been secretly crushing on him for years). What was even more shocking is that you didn’t know this about your best friend until just before the two of you graduated. You’re just now finding out he’s never had a blowjob before? It just sounds crazy in your mind.

Which is why you can’t really help the words that fly out of your mouth next. You sit on the edge of his bed and throw out a suggestion, silently hoping for the best. You tell him, “I can give you one if you want.”

Neville immediately shot up from his position on the bed, eyes widened from shock as he stared at you. His mouth was agape, jaw practically dropped to the floor. Your heart starts to pound faster and faster, wondering if you had made the right decision for saying that.

You could practically feel the boy’s stare burning holes into your skull as he sat there motionless. Itching to break the ice, you shift awkwardly on the bed and mumble, “Um, sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“Yes. Wait, no. Actually, yeah. I want it to be you.” Neville barely contains his excitement now, trying hard not to stutter over his words. He’s inching closer to you on the bed to close the gap. “Please, Y/N. I-I just..really want it.”

His pathetic begging has your cheeks blushing hard. The way he whimpers your name has you wet already. You absolutely loved seeing this side to Neville and were mentally beating yourself up for not trying to discover this at an earlier point. Before you can say anything else, Neville is standing up from the bed and pulling on your arms, encouraging you to stand as well. He mumbles quickly, “I just want to see you on your knees already, please.”

Your heart drops and you could have sworn all the air in your chest was sucked out of you the moment he said those words. As pitiful as he was acting, you couldn’t help but comply and get to your knees in front of your best friend. You smile hard at him, looking up through your thick eyelashes as you say, “Okay, Neville. But I can’t guarantee I’ll be any good.”

Of course, you knew that couldn't be further from the truth. But he would soon figure that out for himself.

There’s an obvious bulge forming in Neville’s trousers. Seeing it up close, just inches from your face, makes you subconsciously lick your bottom lip. You’d been fantasizing about this moment for what felt like a million years. Heart racing, you pull back your hair and tie it into a low bun. Neville’s hands leave his sides and pull loose strands from your face to tuck them behind your ear. You look up at him, cheeks still dusted red and lips parted as you silently take in the scene that was unfolding before you.

“Please, Y/N, I want your mouth around my cock already.” He murmurs, fingers tracing your jawline. Your stomach twists and turns at his words. You could have sworn you felt high just sitting there on your knees in front of Neville. How the hell did he have this kind of power over you?

Nodding your head, you gleefully chime, “I’ll make you feel so good, baby.”

Neville groans at the nickname and bites his bottom lip. His hands travel to the top of your head to hold onto your hair while your own make their way up his big thighs. The moment your fingertips have touched his zipper, your heart skips a beat at the feeling of his hardened girth poking underneath the fabric.

You practically need to take in a deep breath as you unzip the clothing, pulling down his trousers and underwear all at once. His length escapes the confines of his pants and immediately shoots out in front of your face. The angry tip of his cock nearly smacks your cheek and you gasp, gawking at the size. He was…massive, to say the least. You watch it twitch in anticipation against his hard abdomen, yearning to be touched.

“W-Wow, Neville…fuck, you’re huge.” You mumble, reaching up to hold onto his length.

He hisses at the contact, his fingers slowly tangling themselves into your locks. You bat your eyes slowly and look up at him with sultry eyes, making him nearly combust on the spot. He whines, “Please, please, please-”

You don’t want to tease him for too long. This was his first blowjob, after all. He needed stability through this whole experience and you were going to be there to give it to him. You place your tongue against his tip and swipe it back and forth for a moment before opening your mouth wide enough to fit him. As you bring the head of his length to your lips, it brushes across your lower lip before being drawn into your mouth almost instantly. It seemed as though you couldn’t control your excitement. The knot in your stomach tightens as you take in more and more of the boy’s massive girth.

Slowly engulfing his length, you listen to the way Neville lets out a moan at the sensation of your spit, tongue, and lips gripping his cock. You bob your head back and forth at a slow pace to take in the taste of his pre-cum on your tongue. You hum at the experience, listening to Neville whine as you push even further down his member. He lets out a loud whine, telling you in an exasperated tone, "Merlin's beard, Y/N, you're fucking amazing. Suck my cock, babygirl, keep going."

Your throat tightens at the sensation of him being so deep within your mouth, and you expand your jaw as much as you can to force yourself down even deeper onto him. Given the enormous girth that was steadily working its way down your throat, you were unable to muster the willpower to respond to any of his statements. You can't help but relish the moment, despite the searing feeling that itched your throat as his tip touched it.

His groans, the taste of his member, and the simultaneous unraveling feeling of your own body all came together to make you feel like you were in heaven on earth. As time passed, the familiar knot in your gut became larger and larger. You groan into his girth, causing Neville's body to tense up even more from the pure pleasure of having you suck him off. He immediately thrusts into your mouth with succession of hearing you moan again, spitting out multiple swear words in the process. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Y/N, use that tongue, babygirl. Keep going, I’m so close!”

You bob your head faster and faster, feeling the head of his cock nearly bruise the back of your throat. Gurgled noises escape your mouth with every thrust and tears build up around both your eyes. You look up at Neville through your wet eyelashes, and the moment you both make eye contact, it’s enough to make the boy lose his mind.

“G-Gonna, fuck, gonna cum- AH! Fuck, holy shit…” Neville yells out as his seed sprays the back of your throat. You can feel the veins running up and down his length pump out more and more liquid into your mouth, smiling at the feeling of how great it made you feel. Your throat violently throbs as he slowly pulls himself out of your wet cavern, smirking at the way you looked so fucked out just from the large size of his member.

“Did I do a great job?” You ask Neville, licking your lips as you watch him tuck his member back into his pants.

Neville has to sit on the bed, clearly out of breath from the whole experience. He pulls some hair out of his face and smiles broadly. Looking down at his best friend on the floor, he nods his head, “Of course you did. Fuck, why haven’t I asked you to give me a blowjob before?”

You shrug your shoulders, telling him in a sassy tone, “Well now you know where to get one.”

He can’t help but laugh at the (very true) statement. You join in and giggle, ignoring the fact that this possibly breached every rule about being best friends with a boy.

TAGLIST: @calmspencer, @baddiebbarbietngz, @slytherclaw1978, @serendipitous-fernweh, @pandanation24, @rachelreallyroars, @tinafuentes, @chvmpion-jack, @ethereallovr, @godknows-shetried, @waggoth, @ellieswhor3, @wildestdreamers-tv, @faefaes-world, @the-bean-stocks

[anthonys237thfreckle]

i need need need headcanons for anthony with a gf who’s like got a career in STEM and she’s super smart and as an actor he’s amazed by her lmao.

this is so cute! thanks anon

I’m looking for a woman in STEM - Anthony Ramos x F! Reader

prompt: headcanons for Anthony who’s girlfriend is in STEM - i’ve picked biomed for a degree since my mom wanted me to do biomed in high school

TW: mentions of academic stress and panic attacks, mention of drugs used in medicine, mention of mental illness

🔬 when you both first met, and he first asked for where you graduated from, let me tell you - mans did NOT expect you to say ‘Cambridge’

🔬 ‘Oh, so like Cambridge College in Massachusetts?’

🔬 This man omg

🔬 When you said ‘No, England’ he felt goosebumps cause like ‘geez louise CAMBRIDGE?’ and when you casually said you did biomed he was like ‘wait what-’

🔬 ‘Me? Oh, I did Musical Theatre’ he says matter of factly, and you’d add ‘Oh, I played piano when I was in elementary-’

🔬 You’d be the definition of a perfect golden child. He knows that couldn’t have been easy

🔬 When you two do start dating, he’s always bragging ‘Oh my girlfriend does lab research for this new supplement for this drug for schizophrenia in children-’ HE’S A PRO YAPPER. Especially in interviews.

🔬 He’s so proud of everything you’ve done - doing medicinal research at NYMC (New York Medical College)

🔬 Maybe in the winter as you two are baking (you always make sure the measurements are perfect, never letting him measure anything out lol) he always says baking is an ‘art’

🔬 ‘Actually babe, it’s chemistry’ you’d chuckle, taking a bite out of some gingerbread cookies, and ever since, he’s jokingly kept a lab coat and goggles and chides you for ‘not tying your hair in the lab’.

🔬 You’d tell him about how hard high school and college was for you, having to get a scholarship, going to British private schools because the medicine industry is mad competitive and honestly, you need to show something off in your application.

🔬 You’d tell him how even though you did Cambridge IGCSE and A level courses all throughout high school, it was no match for what England had in store for you - panic attacks became a weekly thing.

🔬 I mean, you did Pure Math, Biology, Chemistry and Psychology A and AS levels for gods sake - its an absolute mindfuck.

🔬 He’s always there to reassure her how smart she is and that she’s human no matter what - that college is over, and the drug trials will end up great, and a bunch of kids will get some damn good medication.

🔬 He LOVES it when you come watch his shows and movies. It means the absolute world to him.

🔬 Soon, he kind of drifted away from theatre after Hamilton, and started in film, and would always get super excited whenever he’d get some remotely science-y role.

🔬 Like in In Treatment, he’d come to you for help for some advice on his role, on some deeper level analysis (not as deep as an actual therapist guys, just a psych student level) and you’d be squealing with pride when you see him on TV.

🔬 And when he got into the more Sci-Fi movies like Transformers, he’d tell you ‘it’s not that deep, baby.’ whenever he’d catch your brows furrow in confusion at the misuse of a niche scientific term

🔬 He’d be so happy when he landed Twisters, even though you weren’t a meteorology student, your use of organic chemistry would def have some revelations when watching Kate use some form of polycarbonate.

🔬 ‘they’re right! they use silver iodide for cloud seeding!” you’d giggle.

🔬 affectionately calls you ‘nerd’ all the time.

— for anyone not british, igcse is from grades 9-10 and a levels are a bit like AP! but like they have a lot of depth. you’re not expected to do more than three.

[hawkinsmafia]

day 01: firsts

featuring Eugene, Jeff & Gareth

summary: Eugene gets fan mail! from a girl!

rating: general

wc: 824

cw: one use of the f-slur, unsanitary postal practices

an: written for the first day of @corrodedcoffinfest! I’ve been so excited for this event, it’s my first time ever participating in one of these!

“Mail call!”

Jeff turned around to gawk as Gareth walked through the door of their dressing room. “Mail call?”

“What, am I speaking Swahili? Mail call, motherfucker.” He sifted through the sheaf of envelopes and loose papers in his hand, pulling out a few addressed to Jeff and passing them over.

Eugene watched as Gareth plucked out a couple more pieces, taking them when he handed them over. “How’d we get mail here?”

“Security guard said girls were coming by all day and begging anyone they met to deliver a letter to us for them.” Gareth deposited a thick stack on Eddie’s makeup case before taking the rest to his dressing table and beginning the task of opening them. Eddie always got more fan mail than the other three combined. Jeff said it was because of his slutty waist and snake hips, and Gareth grumbled that if the audience could see his bubble butt from behind the drum kit, his mail stack would rival Eddie’s.

Eugene’s stack was always the smallest, if he got anything at all. They all tried to make light of it, joking that bassists never have fans. But Eugene was used to being overlooked anyway. It had served him well in high school, keeping him out of the line of fire when the assholes were looking for someone to torment.

Of course it also meant that no one had ever taken an interest in him either and, of the four of them, he was the only one to walk the graduation stage still a virgin. But whatever.

(And he still was. But whatever.)

He tore open the first envelope and started reading. It was from a guy—it was always from a guy—who also played bass—they always also played bass—and really liked the freestyle bass line Eugene had improvised at their show in Marietta during the song Bloody Body Bag, and he knew band life was crazy hectic but if Eugene had any free time after the show tonight, and was interested, maybe they could meet up for a beer and to talk shop. It made him smile, and he made a mental note to check the stage door after the show for this ‘Darren’ guy wearing a Zeppelin shirt if he had time.

“Augh, fucking Christ!” Gareth suddenly cried, and Eugene looked up to find him holding a pair of panties on the end of one of his drumsticks, looking at it with disgust.

“Another pair for the panty pile?” Jeff asked, laughing. “Are they used?”

“They’re sure as fuck not clean! Ugh!” Gareth flung them toward Eddie’s things. “Tell Ed they fell out of one of his letters instead.”

“Man, why don’t you just come out and say you’ve got a boyfriend?”

Gareth gave Jeff a withering look. “Yeah, sure, I’ll tell Rolling Stone I take dick when Sebastian Bach makes a public apology for wearing that ‘AIDS kills fags dead’ shirt onstage.”

“I’m just saying, it didn’t even slow Judas Priest down.”

“Yeah, well, we’re not Judas Priest…”

They both went back to reading their fan mail, so Eugene did too. Tucking Darren’s letter into his pocket, he lifted the unglued flap on the second letter and slipped the paper out. It was a sheet of lined notebook paper, complete with the ragged remains of spiral-bound edging down the left side. And it was covered in neat, round cursive written in purple gel pen.

Dear Eugene,

I’ve been C.C.’s biggest fan for two years, and even got to follow you guys for part of the Midwest Metal tour last spring. I’ve always had a thing for bassists and you’re my most favorite ever! I read your interview with B-Side, and I had to tear it out and keep it in my purse. I was really fat growing up too, and your words in that interview bring me a lot of peace. I pull it out and read them again any time I have to relive those high school memories of being The Fat Girl, and it always makes me feel better.

I really like that black leather jacket with the red stripes on the sleeves that you wear sometimes. If you have it with you now, could you wear it tonight, for me? Pretty please?

Break a leg tonight! (But not my heart!)

~ P.

There was a heart drawn at the bottom of the page, and a little doodle of a hand holding up devil horns. For some reason, Eugene couldn’t stop smiling at them.

“Hey, Earth to Genie!” Jeff called too loudly. Eugene’s head shot up, inexplicably feeling guilty, like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Jesus, finally. What the hell’s got you grinning like a lunatic over there?”

“Oh, uh… I got a letter. From a girl.”

Gareth snorted. “What, is it your first one or something?”

“Yeah. Hey, can you grab my leather jacket off the rack? The one with the red stripes.”

(Btw, Sebastian Bach did apologize for that fucking shirt in 2003, and has raised money for and made donations to organizations dedicated to fighting HIV/AIDS. We stan character growth and learning to be better in this house.)

[braineater444]

“To Be Better”

Big Brother!Yoshida x Gender Neutral Reader

(Tw: Sexual Abuse, Rape, Incest, Mild Smut, Mental Health, Suicidal Ideation)

A/N: I told myself I would finish this today and I did against my better judgment. This is not fully proofread and a bit different in comparison to other things I’ve written. Not heavy on the smut but definitely heavy. Idk. This isn’t good. Goodnight <3

Your older brother Yoshida is the brightest star to ever shine in your family. He got into all of the top universities (and every school he applied to for that matter) he’s smart, he’s attractive and everyone loves him to pieces, even those he’s only said one word to. He’s that type of guy. Too charismatic for his own good. A revolving door of people interested in being with him. Not a single flaw on his pretty skin.

Then, there’s you. You’re born second, but that doesn’t make you any where near close to second to him. Somehow, even with there being only two of you, you fall further down. You’re not placing in a race with him. You graduated two years after him, but no one from your extended family showed up like they did for him. You had a few friends, but were otherwise known as Hirofumi’s younger sibling. Your existence felt like an inconsequential blip when you were so eclipsed by him in every aspect of anything you did. He is the sun, but to say you’re the moon would be a lie.

So, it felt nice to graduate. To leave the school where every one knew you as a his shadow and the comparisons never ended. It felt nice to go to a community college where no one knew you and forge your own identity.

Even with him out of the house two years before, you still weren’t as free from him as you have been recently. You’re healing as of late. His winter break visit has come and gone and you’re getting better. This summer will be better. There’s just you and sure, you still live with your parents who always compared you to him, but now your lives have almost completely diverged. They have to, after all the work you’ve put in to getting better about being his shadow.

Of course, it’s not as simple as him having disappeared at university forver, though. It cant be your happily ever after. He comes home over his breaks and this one is no different.

The summer air is hot. It’s unpleasant and almost inescapable. There’s three popsicle sticks on your desk and the ceiling fan of your room is going as fast as it can go. It’s working desperately to cool you down with its gentle whirring, but still, you’re sticky with a light cast of sweat as you lay silently on your bed in wait.

You know he’s here. His voice flows proudly all through the house as he greets your parents and asks where you are and why you haven’t come to see him. You can hear him padding down the hall. Your brother has a distinct walk. It’s heavy and light all at once, like he’s waltzing his way to your door. A distinct feeling of dread punctuates each and every step.

As the door to your room swings open, you’re greeted by that same gut punch of a smile that you hadn’t been unfortunate enough to see since winter. This time it’ll be longer. The summer is too long.

“What?” It’s not really a question. Just something to make him go away.

“What?” He repeats back to you. “You’re not excited to see me?” Hirofumi… his voice is like silk; like he’s got it all figured out. It’s no wonder he’s got everyone fooled.

…

Usually it’s the summer heat that keeps you up all night, but tonight it’s him. You can’t see him, but you know he’s there and for that reason you haven’t left your room all day. His presence is an ache in your brain and the dryness of your mouth. This was supposed to be easier.

For the first time since he’s been back, you walk as quietly as possible out of your room praying that he isn’t awake. When you pass his room there’s no light coming from under the closed door and not a sound to be heard.

He’s asleep. Thank god.

You take a breath of relief and hurry yourself through the house, but as you round the corner into the kitchen the lights are on and he’s there. Closing the cabinets after putting up one last dish. And there it is. That sickening smile as he spots you.

“You didn’t eat dinner with us.”

You ignore him and pull open the refrigerator. All of the foods been neatly wrapped up and nicely stacked in small containers. You don’t check them to see what’s inside. Instead, you pick at a bunch of grapes and shovel them into your mouth one by one. There’s nothing to be said. You’re dealing with this well enough.

The grapes are ice cold and pop deliciously in your mouth. This is the best thing to happen to you all day. You needed this. You deserve this. Until, it’s interrupted by a large hand on your shoulder.

You stiffen.

“Don’t-” You turn and smack his hand off of your shoulder.

“Why are you acting like that?” He asks. He’s trapping you between his body and the ice cold inside of the refrigerator. He’s so close. Too close. You can smell him. He smells so fucking good. It’s sweet like fresh cut grass and natural like the wind traveling over the sea. It’s sickening. He’s making you nauseous by being in your space. A headache is forming. He shouldn’t be this close.

Your hand shoots out between the two of you and pushes at his chest before you even realize you’ve moved. You retract your hand like you were burned. “Move.” It’s quiet but stern. He doesn’t budge in the slightest. A look of confusion paints his face.

“What is your problem?” He steels himself.

For a second you almost believe him. You almost believe he’s truly lost and he doesn’t know why you’re acting like this towards him.

“You were fine when I came back over the break in winter.”

Right. Winter. You don’t even want to think about it.

He pulls you away from the refrigerator with a tight grip on your arm. You here it click closed and your brain stops working at the sound. He’s been treating you like this forever. Like a rag doll. For a second you let it happen. You have half a mind to let him do what he’s always done, but with the better half you pull away from him. His hand feels like it should’ve left burn marks in every spot he’d touched.

“Leave me alone.” You want to scream but it comes out as a hushed cry. Your nails dig into his forearm and he lets you go. You stumble back into the counter and you don’t even feel the pain that accompanies it.

“You don’t like me anymore?” His smile is confused. His eyebrows are furrowed. He pretends not to know what’s wrong.

…

You’re dealing with this the best way you know how.

He’s not here, in your room, but somehow he’s everywhere. His smell lingers in there air. Somehow it feels like his hand is still wrapped around your arms. You can’t get rid of him even in the quiet of your own room.

You lock the door. You unlock it. You lock it again.

You flick the light on. You flick it off. You flick it on again. You leave it off.

You start to try to lay back down, but you can’t bring yourself to touch your bed. Not with Hirofumi all over you.

The only solution is a shower.

The water burns just right against your thigh as you step in. You needed this. You weren’t ready to see him again.

Your body is trembling. How long have you been like that? Are there tears in your eye? You can feel your throat tightening up and wetness streaming down your face. Why are you crying? He didn’t do anything to you.

Maybe you shouldn’t be treating him like this. You liked him in the winter. You liked what happened then. You’re fooling yourself into thinking you’re the victim. After all these years, you’re not the victim.

Like a bullet in the chest it hits you all at once. So many years of him fight to the forefront of your thoughts.

Even as you scrub your skin you can feel his hands all over you. You’re sure the soap smells like him. You hold the soap to your nose and the thought goes away. It doesn’t smell like him.

You think about the winter. Your unlocked door. An invite for him to come in. You scrub at your skin.

You remember the heat of his body against yours. When you would beg him to stop. You scrub.

His hands gripping at your chest. Your quiet discomfort as you let him. The tears that rolled down your cheeks and the the way he kissed them away. You’ll clean him off of you even if your skin turns raw.

You can’t breathe. The tightness in your throat is getting worse. You’re sure you’re bawling. You want this to end. To go away. You need to go away.

Your knees buckles under you and when they crack against the shower floor the world becomes clear again. You can hear yourself sobbing. You can feel that the waters too hot against your skin. It’s too much.

A knock on the door comes as you rush to turn the water off.

“Are you okay?” Hirofumi’s voice lingers on the other side. You can smell him again. “Y/N~” He sings your name out with the beat of his second round of knocks at the door. “Do you want me to come in there?”

You’re still crying. You can’t catch your breathe. Your pleads for him not to come in are stuck in your throat.

You hear him say your name again. Then, the door starts to inch open. He can’t do this. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t.

“GO AWAY!” You scream out before you knew you could speak again. The door clicks shut. Footsteps sound further and further until they disappear. Relief. You melt in to the wall of the tub. He’s gone.

There’s no telling how long you stayed there; a mess of sopping wet hair and skin, but you eventually pull yourself together and rush to get your pajamas on. The long pants. The long sleeves. They tug against your wet skin and make you sweat already.

You look in the mirror; into your bloodshot eyes.

You can never brush your teeth enough. It’s like his tongue is always in your mouth. The taste of his breath lingers. The inside of your mouth feels like his. Too much like his. Your lips are so chewed up trying escape the feeling, they crack even more when you brush your teeth. You brush until your gums bleed. Until your mouth feels as raw as your skin. Until the taste of iron replaces him. Until you can sleep at night. The taste of him will come back. It always does.

…

Your parents don’t sit down for breakfast unless he’s around. Your mom doesn’t cook unless it’s for him. You don’t exist outside of him.

You push your food around your plate and tune them out. He’s sitting across from you and you’re not looking up unless you have to. You’re not hungry this morning. You don’t want to be here.

“Why don’t you want to learn how yo drive?”

The question sounds pointed at you. You stop, to listen again.

“You know…” You stop hearing his voice, but you’re sure he’s still talking. You keep looking down at your plate. “…really, I’m your big brother I should.” You can hear that fucking smile in his voice.

“That would be great, wouldn’t it, honey?” Your moms hand rubs soothingly over your thigh. You almost get the urge to cry again, but you can’t. “Hirofumi could be a great person to teach you?”

You look at her, confused.

“He can teach you how to drive. You should really learn. And maybe look at his new car.”

“It’s really nice.” Your dad cuts in.

He has a new car.

“It’d be great. To make new memories and stuff, right?” Hirofumi looks so endearing. The sun coming in through the window surrounds his body in soft morning light. Of course, he’s glowing. He casts a shadow over your breakfast plate.

“I’ll learn to drive on my own time.” You stuff your mouth with eggs.

Your mother insists that you let Hirofumi teach you. She’s like that. He’s her favorite. He does everything right the first time.

You leave breakfast early and leave them to their golden child.

You lock your door. You unlock it. You lock it again. You check the handle. It’s locked.

Your pajamas are suffocating you. It’s only going to get hotter from this point in the day, but you can’t change. You turn your ceiling fan on. You can breath.

You open a book and try to forget.

By the afternoon, the house falls silent. You leave your room and check all around the place. For each room you flick the lights on and of again and again. Not a soul. Tension relieves itself in places you didn’t know you had it. After checking all the locks, you sprawl out on the couch. Let them be gone forever.

…

You’re burning up. You’re sweating. You have a headache. The tv is on, but there’s some other noise. The couch suddenly feels too small.

“Do you want to go in my room?” Hands tap your cheeks to wake you. Your eyes struggle to open. Your mouth doesn’t move. Again. “Do you want to go in my room?” His face is far above yours, there’s brightness in his eyes, but they remain pitch black. His bangs are still too low. “It’s cooler in there. You’re sweating a lot. C’mon.”

He grabs you. Hoists you in to his arms and you latch on to him. You let him carry you. He loves to carry you. You’re so easy. So so easy. Why are you letting him do this.

“Hiro-”

Nothing.

“Hirofumi…”

“Hm?”

“Please take me to my room. I don’t want to do this.”

“It was fine a couple moths ago. Wasn’t it?”

You shake your head. You never liked it. That time you thought if you tried to enjoy it you’d hurt less. If you finally smiled and gave him what he wanted willingly it wouldn’t be as bad as all of the times before. It worked in the moment, but like every time before it came back to haunt you. You can’t do it again, but you don’t argue.

You let him lay you down on his bed. You go limp. You can’t run. You’ve never been able to stop this.

You think you say his name out loud, but if you do, he doesn’t answer. You ask where your mom’s at. Nothing. Your pajama pants are off. You hear yourself say stop. His hand smooths over your underwear.

There’s a moment of darkness and suddenly you’re both naked. You’re pushing at his muscles. His mouth is leaving wet kisses down your body. You swear you’re begging him to end this. There’s something of a cry for help in there. He can’t do this again.

“You wanted this last time, remember?” He breathes over your sex and drags his tongue across. Your body reacts as if you were struck by electricity, but you feel nothing. There’s just a strange wetness between your legs.

He can’t seem to remember the times before when you said no. All the times that came before the winter. When his hands traveled down in to your uniform. When you told him he didn’t need to kiss you before his graduation speech for good luck. When you said you didn’t want to know what he’d taste like. There were so many rejections, but he just can’t be a good brother.

He can only remember when you begged for him at the park last winter. When you let him climb in your bed and rub himself against the curve of your ass. When you licked his semen off the palm of your hand and kissed him hungrily. He can only remember last winter.

You were so scared. You thought you could face your demons head on.

He’s inside you. He’s so deep inside you. His tongue lick’s at the salty tears and sweat on your cheeks. His lips interlock with yours and you don’t kiss back. Not this time. You feel nothing and everything. Every vein dragging in and out of you. Every fingernail digging into your waist. The muscle in his chest where your hands aren’t pushing any more. Every breath he steals from you. But you don’t feel it.

You’re trapped eye to eye under him. His bedside lamp is dim, but you can see his face so close to yours. He’s tearing you apart from the inside. You have to be dying. You want to die.

“Hiro… I’m going to kill myself.” You manage between tears, broken moans and unstable breaths. “Please stop. I’m going to die. I’m going to kill myself.” It all pours out of your mouth like a flood.

“No. I’ll take care of you,” He says as he lays kisses along your throat.

“No. I’ll die.” You sniffle. “I’ll just die. I promise. I can’t do this. Please stop.” You might be screaming. There’s no way for you to tell. He’s slamming in to you harder. You can see it. You can’t feel it, but you know it hurts. Then it all stops. You can’t see anymore. There’s nothing. Again.

He’s there. Laying on your stomach when you come to. You feel sticky. Like your body’s covered in slime. Gross. Like you’re wrapped in spiderwebs. Like your brother’s been inside of you. Like this has been going on for as long as you can remember.

You try to push him off of you. You’re still naked. You don’t want your pajamas back anyway. You just want the shower. You push at his head and try to slide your body from under him. His scalp is wet with sweat.

You just want to shower. He won’t budge. His smell is seeping deeper into your skin by the second.

He turns to face you.

“Mom and dad are out all night. We have time.”

You give up. You’ll never be clean again.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Hey :) this is a bit if a sensitive topic… but i got an idea for a request and i don’t know if you’d be willing to write it? I’ve been struggling with anorexia for a very long time and i’ve been thinking what if y/n was in the love band and she has an ed and body image issues and you know the outfit the band’s always wearing? For me personally, it’d be so triggering to wear because i know i’d feel so fat wearing it (don’t know why tbh)…Anyway, what if she hasn’t really told anyone about her struggle (maybe they saw signs but don’t know for sure) and she’d agreed to wear the outfit but then before a show she has a huge panic attack and Harry finds her crying backstage…

And also like i just want to say that there’s nothing wrong with being bigger and that "fat" is not a feeling but i just can’t help my brain 😣

Sorry for the long ask.. and I also hope you’ll feel better!!🙂

Hello friend! First off, thank you for sending this request and for trusting me and this online space to share your struggles. That can be really challenging, especially on the internet where you don't know how people will take things or react sometimes. Especially with eating disorders, there's so much guilt and shame that comes with this kind of mental illness to begin with and it can be a hard thing to admit to as well.

I will also share with you anon, that I've struggled with an ED for many years and was finally diagnosed with EDNOS in 2016. EDNOS stands for eating disorder not otherwise specified and you can receive that diagnosis for many reasons. I won't elaborate on my case in this post (I don't mind talking about it anymore so if ppl have questions you can ask), but anyway.... all this to say that I totally understand your struggle. And lately, I've been struggling to not fall back into those harmful ways after some comments my mom made a few weeks ago. It's been a tough few weeks for me for many reasons. But anyway, thank you so much again, for sending this request. Writing this is definitely going to be cathartic and therapeutic for me as well and I hope that it is for you too and anyone who struggles this way.

LAST THING! If you or anyone you know struggles with an eating disorder or shows concerning disordered eating patterns, please consider getting help. Some resources are linked HERE including helpline contact info.

And of course, the content below can be triggering for people who struggle with any E.D.

This was quite literally your dream come to life. You had been asked by Harry himself to join the Love Band in Ny-Oh's place for the final leg of Love On Tour. This all seemed insane and unreal as you thought about how you'd just met him around 2018. You'd been brought in as a session musician for Harry's last 2 albums and started a nice little friendship with him. But you didn't know that he considered you enough of a friend to ask you to join his live ensemble. Sure, you talked regularly enough and had graduated into hugs over fist bumps during the making of Harry's House, but still...it just seemed so insane. You were excited though, getting to see him perform every night knowing how hard he worked to make this music...it was like a full circle moment.

There'd been plenty you'd done in preparation for your travels. Including getting your measurements taken for the little love minion jumpsuits you'd be wearing every night. None of that really seemed to trigger you or your concerns over your weight and body image. You'd been doing so well, you'd been managing your eating disorder well the last few years without any major setbacks and you were proud that you were healthy enough to do this. Proud that you felt comfortable accepting this gig and knowing that you had the stamina and health to make it through the entire leg of the tour. It was huge! But none of that really seemed to matter when you got a look at your uniform hung up just a few inches away from you and felt this sudden rush of anxiety crawling through your body. Why did it look like it'd be so tight on you? The material obviously wasn't too stretchy so how was this supposed to fit on you? You weren't exactly sure what about the look of it suddenly had you feeling this way, but all you knew was that you didn't feel good about it.

The logical part of your brain reminded you that you got fitted for this - it was custom made to your measurements. And you tried to keep that in mind, but you soon realized that you had been fitted for this about four months ago. Maybe you'd gained tons of weight? Your days of obsessively weighing yourself were past you, so you had no idea if you had or hadn't. You had body dysmorphia so your mind wouldn't know the difference. And it was maddening to you that you had been feeling OK about yourself until you'd entered the little temporary changing room and saw the outfit on the hanger. Your heart started to beat a bit faster as your anxiety started to grow.

"30 minutes to show time!" you heard someone call as they walked down the corridor and then they shouted the same warning into the large dressing room a few of you shared and you just exhaled sharply and decided so just ignore this feeling and suck it up. If you didn't wear this what would you wear? You had no choice, you just had to get over it.

However, now that something about this outfit had triggered the obsessive and intrusive thoughts about your body image you started to feel uncomfortable looking at your reflection. You tried to avoid looking at yourself right now because you knew that you'd see things that weren't accurate. You tried to slow down your breathing as you turned away from the mirror in there and folded up your clothes before turning back around and looking at the outfit once again before taking it off the hanger. It felt suspenseful to undo all of the little buttons lining the seam to join the two sides together. But soon you were pulling it off the hanger and getting your legs into it and doing up the buttons, avoiding the mirror again until it was fully on so that you wouldn't freak out before you fully were dressed. Of course, you had no issues with getting it on, it felt just fine, a little loose if anything. But when you looked up the feeling of the fit didn't really matter. You had no idea if it was the cinched in waist that felt restrictive even if you had some wiggle room. Or maybe it was the way the fabric bulged a bit at your stomach and made you feel like you were carrying a lot more weight there than you realized before? But as you turned to the side to see how you looked from that angle your frown deepened as your fears rose tot he surface. It looked a little big on you and that somehow made you feel even worse because it wasn't like flattering/comfy baggy. This outfit somehow accentuated just how thin you actually were and then a new fear came into your brain: They're going to know I'm anorexic.

You felt that you did well enough to keep your eating disorder speculations at bay. People closest to you knew, but you were very private about it because like any illness, there is sometimes an element of shame involved. It wasn't something you advertised, especially as you recovered! But most people just knew you were into health and wellness, but they didn't know the dark side of it; that you struggled with obsessing over quantities and ingredients and portions because you were terrified to look bigger than you were, terrified to gain weight, terrified of feeling fat. You couldn't tell anyone why you felt that way, but you just did! And sure, you were a lot better now than you were years ago, but you had just been massively triggered that you looked sickly and that, that would arise suspicions of your health. The fans might start to say things and ask questions and if they noticed other people would too...the crew, the rest of the band...Harry...

As you stared at yourself for a bit more your eyes started to tear up and you silently fanned at your eyes to try and dissipate the tears, but your vision was only getting more and more blurry. You just needed some fresh air to calm down. You peeked out and saw that you were alone in the dressing room so you rushed out before anyone could stop you and you headed out back behind the stage. They were in the middle of changing the setup after the openers so the crew and roadies were closer to the structure helping change things out and unloading. You had the space and privacy to pace around and let your tears fall. But the audience was so loud...there would be so many people and they would look at you and see you in this outfit and just know that something was wrong with you. Obviously they would be scrutinizing you since you were the new person! And suddenly everything just built up inside of you and you started to panic.

You found a place to sit down when you felt your breathing catch in your throat. This couldn't be happening.... you were just minutes before the show! But you were hyperventilating now as your tears cascaded down your cheeks. You felt like you were going to crumble apart. This was a huge mistake... you should've said no...you weren't ready for this. There was no way you could do this. You were sat off to the side as you sobbed and tried everything you could to calm down and get through this panic attack so you didn't notice Harry's car pulling up across from you until you heard the stadium cheering loudly and when you glanced up you saw Harry wave quickly before he headed backstage. You didn't want anyone to see you like this so you stood up and went to hide behind one of the trailers, but you didn't notice that he'd seen you rush off.

********

"Y/N!" Harry called after you but you didn't seem to hear him and he frowned a bit. He could've sworn you were crying...maybe you just got really nervous or maybe it just hit you now that you were on tour. It could be exciting but nerve-racking. So he decided to just check on you and maybe give you a little pep-talk. "Hey, I'll be right in, just gonna make sure she's OK." Harry said to Tommy and Brad.

"I've got it, H. You should really go get changed. You're on in 15." Tommy advised.

"It'll be quick. I'm sure she's just a little nervous." Harry said and they sighed as he jogged off to where you'd taken off. When he rounded the corner to where the trailers were he immediately frowned when he saw you gasping for air, choking on your tears as you sobbed uncontrollably. "Y/N, oh my god." he said as he hurried over to you.

You felt mortified as he rushed up to you and reached for your hands. You started to cry harder because this was so fucked up. You felt so stupid and ridiculous for crying over an outfit, but you just felt so awful. Worse than you had in a long time and it was scary to be triggered so intensely. When he wrapped you up in a big hug you started to calm down. His voice and touch and scent helped to ground you a bit, enough to help you breathe properly.

"What's the matter?" he asked you softly as you continued crying. You cough as you tried to answer him and he gently rubbed your back to help you out a bit.

"S'fine. I'm fine." you choked out and he sighed.

"How can I help if I don't know what the issue is?" he asked you and you sighed.

"You can't help Harry, this is me. This all me and I...I don't think I can do the show." you finally said and he pulled back with a big frown as he looked at you. You couldn't bear to see his disappointment for more than a second before you looked back at the ground.

"What do you mean? Are you nervous?" he asked you as he rubbed at your arms with his ring clad hands and you sighed.

"I-it's the outfit. I can't wear this outfit. Like...I'm not...able to wear this." you said to him and he looked a bit confused.

"Is something wrong with it?"

"Yes! I...don't know w-what it is..." you gasped through your sobs, "But I just...don't like how I look or feel in it." you explained.

"Love, you look great!" he said with a small smile and that made you feel worse because it was a testament to just how insane you actually were, "And well, I'm not really sure we can change the uniform at this point-"

"Exactly, this is my issue! So I can't go up there." you cried.

"Well what's the issue you're having? Maybe there's something we can do about it right now?" he asked and you bit your lip for a moment before looking into his eyes and then just turning your gaze away from him. You couldn't bear to see his face when you said this to him.

"I...I have an eating disorder." you said softly through your tears, "And something about this outfit has triggered me into this psychotic episode. I feel...really awful physically and in my head too...and I'm trying... I'm trying to get it together but I haven't felt like this in years and just one look at me in this and everyone's gonna know something's wrong with me because I look sick!" you sobbed, "And that's why I can't do this. I'm so sorry, Harry. I just can't do the show." you blubbered and his hands slid down your arms and grabbed your hands.

"I'm so sorry." he said softly and you sighed.

"It's not your fault...how were you supposed to know that this would trigger me? I didn't even know until I was staring at the fucking thing." you shook your head as you looked up at him again and he sighed.

"I mean, yeah but like I... I noticed stuff before, like when we first met that made me wonder if...maybe you were anorexic or struggled with something like this. So I'm sorry that I never checked on you." he said and you sighed.

"Well, it't not really something I like to talk about." you explained through a sniffle, "And I've been doing really well the last couple years, I swear I'm like eating regularly and stuff. I wouldn't have agreed to do this if I wasn't well enough to do it." you said quickly, "But something happened back there and for my own wellbeing I just feel like I can't go out there like this." you explained through your tears. "Like...at first I thought I looked fat or maybe the cinching made me feel really restricted....but like I had this...moment where when I looked at myself f-from the side I just...looked like a fucking Tim Burton character...." you chuckled through your tears, "and I just...know that people will notice that I'm anorexic. And the audience is gonna see and start saying things about me... and things are just going to get worse and I'm gonna lose control again! And I don't want to lose control again. I can't lose control again." you vented through your tears and he just listened attentively with a slight frown. When he saw you were finished he squeezed your hands gently.

"I get that. And I also want you to be healthy and feel healthy and to feel good about yourself." he assured you, "You being safe and healthy and happy, that's all I want for you! But you're also a fucking brilliant musician and friend and I don't want to do this without you." he said to you and you sniffled, "I'm willing to figure something out to make sure that you feel comfortable and confident enough to perform if you want. We can get with Harry real quick and see what we can come up with." he suggested.

"The show starts in a little bit...it's fine. We can work on it tomorrow. I can perform from backstage today or even just sit this one out." you said and he scoffed through a laugh.

"I'm not gonna make you perform from backstage! We're just gonna run a bit late, that's fine." he said to you and you shook your head.

"Seriously H, I don't mind it a-"

"Seriously, Y/N." He cut you off, "I don't want to hide any member of my team, ever. I want to work with you to figure this out, OK? You mean a lot to me, and having you up there with me and Mitch, like that's so huge! You've been there for a lot of the work on these songs...you brought my vision to life in the studio and now you're here, getting to see it play out! And you do not have my permission to experience this magnificent and magical moment for the first time from behind the stage, all alone. There's no fucking way." he said and you chuckled softly through your tears as he squeezed your hands reassuringly again. "You deserve this. Let's figure this out." he offered again and you sniffled and nodded.

"OK." you agreed softly and he smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." you sniffled and smiled at him before he hugged you tight and you relaxed in his embrace.

"Perfect. Just gonna hold you for a bit, OK?" he said and you just hummed.

Your eating disorder had robbed you of tons of incredible experiences in your life. Either because you weren't well enough to show up or because you felt ashamed...but the buck stopped here. Not anymore. Harry was right, you deserved this and you wanted this, so you were gonna do it with his help and other Harry's help. After a few moments he let go of you and pulled back to wipe away the slightly smeared makeup beneath your eyes.

"If you don't mind not saying anything to Harry about why I-"

"Of course not." He said right away.

"Do you think the band'll mind that I might not be in the uniform?"

"I doubt it, but if someone has any issues I'll take care of it, OK?" he assured you and you nodded.

"Thank you, H."

"Course, love." He smiled kindly, "And I know that for now we might scramble a bit but what if we get you a tour shirt or sweater to wear on top and you can just tie the jumpsuit sleeves around you or something so that you just have the pants on?" he suggested.

"Yeah, I think that's good. I can't very well go out in my spandex shorts, that’s what I came in." you giggled and he chuckled.

"Yeah, sorry not happening. This is kind of about me so...." he joked and you laughed softly, "There she is." he said, his thumb swiped over your smile line for a moment before he pulled it away, "Sorry." he said softly.

"It's alright." you assured him and he smiled.

"Let's get this figured out then." he said and you nodded and headed back.

Of course, Harry had been right about not wanting you to miss the first show because you were hiding backstage. It had been one the best experiences of your life so far. The crowd were so loud and happy to be there. Hearing everyone sing the songs with you all, specially getting to sing Matilda and seeing how much it meant to everyone was amazing. It had been absolutely magical, you had even teared up. And when Harry spared you a glance at the end of the song and saw you wiping a tear he shot you a thumbs up and you returned the gesture. You guys started to wave at the fans at the barricade as you headed back to the main stage. You felt someone come up behind you and then Harry's arm draped over your shoulder.

"Alright, love?" he asked against your ear.

"Yeah, you were right though." you said to him, "I'm glad I'm not stuck in the back and missing this." you smiled up at him and he smiled.

"Me too." he assured you.

Of course, hundreds of fans had recorded this little interaction between the two of you and the only thing that people were obsessing over was how protective and soft Harry seemed to be with you and in turn it made the fans even more gentle towards you during the next shows. With each show the cheering for your introduction grew louder. By now you had talked to the other Harry and the band about what you were struggling with and they were all so kind and supportive. And now, each night when you were introduced you had that incredible support from the audience as well. No one was paying attention to your flaws or your issues or your body, they were just showing you the love and acceptance that you so often failed to give to yourself. Being built up that way gave you a new motivation to stay on track, to take care of yourself, and to keep getting better.

[punkpandapatrixk]

LMAO WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

The draft for a new PAC just got posted now. Sorry XD I had to delete that. But yes, a new standalone PAC is coming up this week😄

💫Current aenergy Check-In ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

This could be considered a part 2 of this PAC👇🏻but not really, actually😜

🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024

Anyway, I was planning on writing a Panda Update today, so I’m just gonna be brief here☺️

Roughly a month ago I started teaching English as a side hustle. I’ve got 6 students and 4 classes to manage so far, I’m still in the process of adjusting to this new work schedule, and honestly it’s done me so much good😄

I’m now sleeping and waking up like a normal person. It’s positively affected my health and the extra money has allowed me to buy healthier foods, too🍌I’m sooo glad things have turned up for the better~ My last Full Moon PAC did mention stability and security, right?!

Anyway, this adjustment is slowing down my posting frequency for now, but rest assured I’m getting my mental and physical strength back. In fact, thanks to this newfound sense of stability, my mind has calmed down a looooooot and now I’m writing my short stories for Wattpad!!!🎉🍾👏🏻

Ahh so many new things. Anyway, I hope you’re excited for the new PAC, and then I’ll be posting Astrology content (with Patreon bonuses) and short stories are also gonna be rolling out gradually🔖

To be honest, I’m also going through a lot spiritually but it feels more like a preparation for graduation, so it’s all good🍀I hope things are alright for you as well whenever you find this💝

Happy Full Buck Moon in Aquarius🌕

[storiesforallfandoms]

dance with me ~ eddie munson;stranger things

word count: 2584

request?: no

description: in which she manages to convince the freak to go to his first school dance

pairing: eddie munson x female!reader

warnings: swearing, jason being jason, fluffy goodness that eddie deserves

masterlist (one, two)

It went without saying that Eddie Munson was not the type of guy to go to the school dance. He had never even entertained the idea in his number of years as a student at Hawkins High School. Besides the fact that a school dance was far from being “his thing”, he also never had anyone he’d even consider taking as a date.

But then (Y/N) came along.

She transferred to Hawkins during his second attempt at graduating and immediately caught his attention. He thought there was no way someone as beautiful and sweet as her would ever go for the freak of Hawkins and had resigned to admire her from afar, until Valentine’s Day when she gave him a card that admitted to having a crush on him and asking him out on a date.

When the school announced their annual winter dance, (Y/N) was beaming with excitement to ask Eddie to go with her. He could practically see her radiance the moment she stepped into the cafeteria during lunchtime.

“There’s my girl,” he said with a smile on his face. As (Y/N) approached, he immediately pulled her onto his lap and gave her a big kiss. “What’s got you so excited, cupcake?”

She pulled something from her pocket and held it out for Eddie to see. “I got us two tickets for the winter dance.”

Eddie tried not to let his smile falter, but (Y/N) knew him well enough to see the shift in his mood after seeing the tickets. “You don’t want to go?”

“I...I’ve never gone to a school dance before,” he admitted. “I haven’t really had any interest in going.”

“Oh.” Seeing her face fall broke Eddie’s heart. He mentally started kicking himself for not being more excited. He should’ve been happy that she wanted to go with him at all. “Well...you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can probably get someone else to go with me.”

“No,” Eddie said. “You want me to go, I’ll go with you.”

That smile that he loved so much appeared on her face again. “Really?”

“Really.”

She threw her arms around Eddie’s neck and peppered kisses all over his face. Eddie felt a familiar warmth in his chest that he felt every time (Y/N) was around.

“You can come over to my place around 7 and dad can drive us to the dance,” she said. “Then, maybe, if I can convince my parents to be okay with it, I can stay the night at your place?”

“I definitely like the sound of that.” Eddie kissed her cheek. “I promise I’ll make it the best night of your life for you.”

~~~~~~

Eddie arrived to (Y/N)’s house at exactly 7pm. Her mom answered the door and smiled at Eddie as she welcomed him in. He noticed her eyes quickly take in his outfit, but luckily she didn’t make any comments about it. Eddie didn’t exactly own anything that would be considered “dance attire”, so he went with his nicest pair of jeans and a button up shirt that he borrowed from Wayne. It was a little big on him, but he tucked it into his pants to make it look more fitting.

(Y/N) came to meet him shortly after he arrived. She was wearing a beautiful baby blue knee length dress with a pair of pointed flat shoes in the same color. Her hair was curled around her face and, for the first time since they started dating, Eddie saw her wearing makeup. It was nothing too flashy, just some mascara and eyeliner and a little bit of lipstick, but, as always, he thought she looked like the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.

“You look amazing,” he told her as she approached him.

She giggled. “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Eddie’s face burned a little with embarrassment. “I don’t really have anything to wear to a school dance.”

“Eds, I mean it, you look great,” she said.

Eddie smiled at her. If they weren’t stood within viewing distance of her parents, Eddie might’ve just taken her and kissed her until her lipstick was smudged right then and there. But he had to be respectful in front of them. They had already agreed to let (Y/N) stay at his place for the night, he didn’t want to jeopardize that already.

Her mom insisted on taking a million pictures before allowing the two to finally leave. She gushed over how beautiful (Y/N) looked and how handsome Eddie was a few times before (Y/N) could finally pull them away from her. They got into the backseat of her dad’s car and drove towards Hawkins High School. The ride was silent and a little tense. Eddie’s leg was bouncing anxiously. He wasn’t sure what was making him more nervous: the thought of how his first dance was going to go, or this seemingly never ending car ride with his girlfriend’s dad.

Noticing his nervousness, (Y/N) reached over to take Eddie’s hand in hers. When he looked back at her, she offered him a small smile, which he gratefully returned.

To his relief, they finally arrived at the school. Eddie got out first, holding the door open and offering a hand to (Y/N) to help her out as well. They were about to make their way inside when (Y/N)’s dad rolled down the window and called for their attention.

“You’re to be to Eddie’s place no later than midnight,” he told her. “We want you to call us the second you get there so we know you’re safe, and you’re home by noon tomorrow.”

“Yes dad,” (Y/N) said in an annoyed voice. This certainly wasn’t the first time she had heard this tonight.

“And Eddie, if I end up with a grandkid nine months from today - ”

“Dad!”

Eddie awkwardly laughed, grateful he didn’t have to hear the end of (Y/N)’s dad’s threat.

She pulled them away from her dad’s car. He finally drove off and they entered the gymnasium. The dance was already in full swing with the gym - decorated in winter accessories - packed with students. (Y/N) took Eddie’s hand in hers and gave it a slight squeeze. When he looked down at her, she looked like she was on top of the world. He couldn’t help but smile at her excitement.

“So, where do we start with these kinds of things?” he asked, raising his voice above the loud music. “Do we start dancing now or?”

She shook her head. “Too early for that. No one is on the dancefloor yet. There’s a snacks table.”

“Oh, well I definitely know where to start then.”

(Y/N) giggled as Eddie dragged her towards the snack table. Everyone they passed looked at the two of them in shock and distain, but Eddie tried to ignore them and (Y/N) was too excited to care.

The snack table was full of sugary goodness that would definitely result a number of sugar highs and eventual sugar crashes. Eddie grabbed the first thing he saw and stuffed it into his mouth. In his anxiousness about going to the dance, he hadn’t had an appetite to eat before leaving, and now he was certainly regretting that decision.

“Please don’t choke,” (Y/N) teased. “Want some punch to wash that down?”

“Is it spiked?” Eddie murmured between the food in his mouth.

“Not yet, but I’d say check back later on tonight and we’ll see.”

If I thought on it, I would’ve brought the liquor to spike it, Eddie thought to himself, but there was no way he was saying that to (Y/N). He didn’t want to ruin her night. He promised that it would be the best night of her life, and he was going to make good on that promise.

(Y/N) filled herself a plastic cup full of punch and offered Eddie one as well. He happily accepted and downed the cool liquid in one gulp. (Y/N) looked at him in amusement. “Want another one?”

“I’m good,” he said. “Doesn’t taste as good without the alcohol in it. I’ll take you up on that offer to check back later.”

(Y/N) playfully shook her head and rolled her eyes. She turned towards the dancefloor and noticed a couple of her friends stood together talking.

“I’m gonna go say hi to the girls,” she said. “Wanna come?”

“I’ll be over in a second, princess.”

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before pushing to the crowd towards her friends. Eddie turned back to the food and was picking up something else to eat when he sensed something terrible was about to happen.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up.”

Yeah, there’s the terrible.

He didn’t have to look up to know it was none other than Jason Carver and his gang of jock friends approaching him. He decided to ignore them the best he could. He wasn’t about to have them ruining his mood on (Y/N)’s night.

“I’m surprised they let a freak like you in here, Munson,” Jason continued. “Aren’t you too old to be going to kids dances?”

“Fuck off, Jason,” Eddie muttered.

“What was that? I don’t think I heard you.”

“I said, Fuck off Jason.”

Jason seemed amused by Eddie’s response. “Wow, the freak is fighting back. Must be trying to look tough in front of your little girlfriend, huh?”

The mention of (Y/N) was enough to bring Eddie’s full attention to Jason. He turned to get right up in Jason’s face, so close that their noses were inches apart. Surprised by the sudden reaction, Jason’s face paled and he backed away slightly.

“You keep (Y/N) out of your fucking mouth,” Eddie hissed. “Or I’ll give you the freak you seem to desire seeing so bad.”

“What are you gonna do to me, Munson? You’ll get expelled if you so much as touch me on school property.”

“Then I’ll wait till you’re off of school property.”

A smaller figure was suddenly between them, shoving Jason back into his entourage. (Y/N) was glaring daggers into the jock. If looks could kill, he’d be dead ten times over.

“Leave him alone, Jason,” she snarled.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Jason challenged.

“Oh, I don’t have to do anything. Eddie can take care of you plenty on his own. But I’d rather my night not be ruined by the small dicked jock who’s just mad that he’s here dateless while the guy he supposedly hates so much has a date.”

Jason looked between Eddie and (Y/N), his face red with anger. Neither one of them was about to step down, but Eddie started to worry that Jason was going to cause a scene to get them all kicked out.

He was happily surprised when Jason backed off, muttering to his friends, “Come on, guys. Let’s go somewhere else.”

Eddie took a deep breath as Jason and his friends walked off. (Y/N) turned to look at him and he immediately softened. He cupped her face in his hands and leaned down to give her a tender kiss on her lips, not enough to mess up her lipstick but enough to ease off any tension left over from his almost altercation.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. “I didn’t want him to get to me, but he mentioned you and it just pissed me off.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, Eds. He’s the jackass who can’t leave well enough alone for one night. I’m glad he didn’t take it much further, though. I didn’t want us to get kicked out when we only just got here.”

Eddie smiled and kissed the top of her head.

The DJ started to play a slower song. The couples finally started moving to the dancefloor to actually start dancing. (Y/N) took Eddie’s hand in hers and said, “Come on, let’s dance.”

He let her lead him to the dancefloor. When he turned to face her, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do next. He had never slow danced with a girl before...actually he hadn’t slow danced period.

Luckily, (Y/N) took his hands and placed them on her waist before draping her arms around his shoulders. She leaned in close to him, so close he could feel the warmth of her body and smell the perfume she was wearing.

“Just sway to the music,” she told him. “And try not to step on my toes. These flats don’t offer a lot of protection.”

Eddie chuckled and followed her instructions. They swayed back and forth to the slow song playing. He looked down at her face and forgot everyone else in the room. It didn’t matter what anyone else here thought of him. It didn’t matter what his reputation was to these people. All that mattered was this beautiful woman in front of him; this beautiful woman that he was lucky enough to call his.

(Y/N) leaned closer to rest her head against his chest. She could hear his steady heartbeat, a wonderful sound that could bring her peace anytime. She couldn’t be happier than she was in that moment. She loved Eddie more than anything, and she considered herself lucky to be able to call him hers.

They were almost reluctant to pull apart when the slow song ended and a more fast pace song started to play. Now that the seal had been broken, more students shoved their way onto the dancefloor to start dancing. The two of them were almost crushed in between the excited students. Eddie leaned down to whisper into her head, “What if we got out of here early?”

(Y/N) giggled. “We just got here!”

“I know, but there’s way too many people here, and there’s nobody at my trailer right now. We could utilize that privacy.”

(Y/N) leaned up to kiss Eddie. He ran his hand through her hair, holding the back of her head tenderly as she kissed him. When she pulled away, Eddie had to stop from chuckling at the smudged lipstick on her lips. No doubt his lips were stained from it as well, but he wasn’t about to complain about that. In fact, he was thinking about other areas she could stain with that lipstick.

“How about this,” she said, “you give me another hour here, and I’ll give you the rest of the night with me. We can do whatever you want back at your trailer.”

“Whatever I want?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

She leaned in close to whisper in his ear, “Whatever you want”, punctuating it with a light nibble on his earlobe.

Eddie groaned in response, which told (Y/N) that he was more than happy with the terms. She pulled away, an innocent smile on her face as she took his hands and guided him into another dance. He couldn’t help but smile back at her. As much as he wanted to go back to his trailer and take that dress off of her, he was happy to be here with her. Actually, he was just lucky to have her. She was probably the best thing that could’ve ever happened to him.

Maybe school dances aren’t all that bad then, he thought to himself. As long as I have her.

[drdemonprince]

hi! i just found your blog and i’m beyond excited about it — i’m starting grad school (MSW) in the fall, and every time i see a psych person actively talking about mental health stigma and collective bargaining and actual Real Shit i get so excited.

right now i’m a high school teacher at a radical anarchist education collective and i’ve been teaching a class on psychology and ethics. the idea is likely few of the kids in my class are going to go into psychology professionally, but all of them (nearly all are queer and/or neuroatypical and/or have mental illness(es), as do i) will have to engage with mental health institutions and get access to care without compromising their autonomy and agency. it’s basically a psych know-your-rights class, and it’s one of the most rewarding things i’ve ever done.

i’m going to be using your substack piece on laziness in class! it’s such a wonderful discussion of all these issues, and the kids graduating this year who are choosing to go to college are all feeling stressed about navigating these big institutions.

anyway, i just wanted to say thank you for everything you’re doing!!

Wow, that's awesome! Thanks for teaching the next generation of anti-psych's!

[666herescared]

Imaginary Shadow Dad)Ch.10: Acceptance

—☆—

  Notes: Just rounding out the PBS era. Mk is finally happy and mentally stable.. But not for long! Mwahahaha!

—☆—

  “Con-Graduations, Mk!” Mei joked with a wink as she pulled her little brother into a hug. 

  He grinned like an idiot and chuckled happily as he hugged her back and spun her around, startling the dragon. Of course, she was used to this, so she calmed down and pulled back to return to her feet and spun him round and round in turn. He yelped but got right into giggling happily moments later. He pulled her closer, off her feet, and sprung himself forward to flip over her head playfully. “Thanks Mei!” he exclaimed teasingly, bending down a little to look down at her while she was on the ground.

  She didn’t move. What? Had he hurt her? The Little Monkey crept closer- and got yanked off his feet and pulled to the ground with a scream and laugh. “You Little Monkey! We aren’t supposed to wrestle on the road!” the dragon girl cackled, pulling him closer to her in a sort of pseudo hug to give him noogies. He cackled happily in her arms as she mussed up his hair, kicking his feet with glee. 

  His dads approached the duo shortly after, Mr.Tang giggling to himself and Pigsy sighing with no real disappointment and tons of amusement. “Yeah. You aren’t supposed to wrestle on the road, so get over here! It’s time for your appointment.” the pig demon claimed, trying to be serious but honestly so happy that the Monkey Kid was finally happy pretty consistently.

  “Aww, really? Already?” Mei pouted.

  “Yea, Jie Jie. We’re still up for sparring later though, right?” Mk asked, slipping away from the dragon with a goofy smirk.

  “You know it, dude! See ya later!” she exclaimed, giving him a good strong hug before calling her bike and zipping off. He waved at her as she drove off, then hopped around playfully as he ran back over to his dads’ truck. His parents snickered as they followed behind, relief and almost aww in their expressions. Their sweet little boy was finally bouncing around like he used to. 

  With a stupid grin, his Ba Ba called towards him, “Xiao Houzi! Slow down! Pigsy’s falling behind.” 

  “Wait, what?!” Dadsy asked incredulously, causing his husband to sprint ahead. “Come back here, ya freeloader!” he called as he chased Mr.Tang.

  “On second thought, RACE YOU THERE! AGH!” the scholar yelped as he was caught by his husband.

  Mk snickered at their interaction, though quickly Pigsy’s competitive side caused him to join the race, though that competitive side was shared by his young boy. The shadow trails at his feet flicked playfully, yet went unnoticed in the boy’s excitement, as he began to parkour down the street, back to the truck. He was far faster than his parents even could be - at least now in their “old” age. He landed in the open doorway of the truck and gave a teasing wink before slipping inside and hunkering down into the gap behind Mr.Tang’s seat.

—

  Today's session with his Shu Shu was one of the unique ones. Sandy was taking him fishing on his house boat. Mk used two teabags of plum tea, as he'd been doing for years now, and Sandy just used a single green tea teabag.

  They calmly sipped their tea and talked about Mk’s plans for the future, starting with the spirit asking, “So, are you still planning on being a cartoonist?”

  The Little Monkey paused for a moment, then shook his head. “No. I think I’ll just help Pigsy out around the shop and draw whatever I feel like. It’s easier that way.” he claimed with a shrug, looking at the water flowing past the ship.

  “Hm. Just wondering, what happened to wanting your name to be known?” Sandy questioned patiently, though he already knew the answer. 

  The young man thought for a moment, wondering when he brought that up, then remembered. “Honestly? I only wanted my name to be known so that Shadow Dad could know what I’ve been up to, but something tells me he doesn’t need my help for that.” He placed a single hand behind his ears- ear to show what he meant. 

  Sandy figured it out quickly and chuckled merrily at the statement. “Oh! Hehe! You’re probably right.” He sipped his tea, satisfied with the answer.

  “Not to mention, Pigsy’s always wanted me to take over once he's gone.” Mk mentioned. He was glad he didn't have to do that too soon though. He might not be a kid anymore, but he wants a while before he has to take on that sort of responsibility.

—

  After his session, Mk decided to walk to the park instead of riding in his dads’ truck. After all, it was a nice, bright, sunny day. The shadows were cast in such a way that it looked almost unfairly beautiful. He spotted a few different people on his walk as he scanned the crowd for one specific person. He saw a couple walking with their arms around each other as they ate ice cream with their others, a woman in a business suit walking down the road on the phone and ranting, a few young fox demons playing together and then finally - a small pink light flickered towards him, making sure he noticed it before moving to glide along the ground.

  He giggled gleefully at the small request. His Ge Ge had started playing little games like this with him recently. This one was a personal favorite for Mk. He chased after the light, following it’s path even when it went up onto the walls, mostly so he could show off his acrobatics.

  The light soon arrived at it’s final location, right in front of Big Brother. He didn’t flee right away for once, which was a startling change for Mk, so he just… froze. Like a deer in headlights.

  His Ge Ge seemed to reconsider for a moment, then shook it off and walked forward, giving the Little Monkey a few pats on the head. “Congratulations, Di Di.” It had been so long since he heard his Big Brother’s voice - it only made him freeze up more. The older boy seemed to get a little nervous after that, like he thought Mk didn’t know what he meant. He actually did think that, as exemplified by him then saying, “O-On graduating. Uh- Congratulations on graduating.”

  The younger simply nodded, still in shock over his Big Brother stopping the chase and actually touching him and talking to him again.

  Ge Ge gave a short nod in response, patting him on the shoulder before walking around him. Right when Mk snapped out of it and turned around, he saw a twisting stream of wind and pink light floating up towards the sky, lotus petals falling down from the quickly fading light. A box falling on his head snapped him out of his thoughts.

  He breathed out an airy chuckle. “You really are impossible to understand, Big Brother..” Inside the box was a bunch of items, most being art supplies and sketchbooks, though there was also a small tin inside with yet another lotus design on it and a lotus pastry inside. Honestly? Mk might as well be a collector of the things at this point.

—

  Mk arrived at the park a short bit later, unsheathing his purple bo staff the moment he noticed Mei wasn’t rushing to greet him. Looks like today’s a sneak attack day. He focused on the sounds in his surroundings, shadows flickering to life as he heard the odd warbling tone that surrounded his friend when she was in her half dragon form. He shifted his stance and waited… 

  Clang! The weapons hit against each other as Mk turned to block his sister's attack, then quickly shifted to block her second attack. The duo did tricks to impress each other and both held back just a bit to make sure the fight lasted more than a minute. Their weapons clashed again and again in a flurry of tricks, games, and childlike joy, until eventually they both put down their weapons to do “hand to hand”(Which in this case, means play wrestling like lion cubs!)

  After a while more of that, the duo of now very messy young adults sat down at a picnic table to take a break and eat. “So~, now that we’re old enough, what’s your type?” Mei asked jokingly.

  Mk snickered softly. “Why do you care? You’re Aroace.”

  “Well, I care, because I wanna hook you up! I think it’d be hilarious, and not to mention, it would make you happier!” the girl answered in a cheerful tone.

  “Oh- C’mon, Mei! I don’t need a lover to be happy! It would just be a nice little addition to my life, y’know?” The Little Monkey kept avoiding the question.

  So Mei decided to pull out the big guns. “We can do this if that helps!” the dragon offered, switching to the shadow language. 

  Mk had to consider for a moment, but eventually, he caved, fiddling with his necklace as he started thinking, blushing softly as he thought about it. “Well.. I would want a guy who’s like, really confident, and pretty… I’d like him to be real smart too! Maybe good in a spar, and, y’know… able to stand up for himself. Like, super strong and stuff too, you know?” the Monkey Kid listed, cautiously excited as the shadows behind him flicked in the vague form of his tail and he cupped both his cheeks, thinking of some imaginary “perfect guy” just for him.

  Mei snickered. “Dude, like, four of those are just, “I want to get stepped on by a hot demon guy-” she teased, but was cut off by her embarrassed brother lightly pushing her back.

  “Well, clearly I have a type!” Mk claimed.

  “Heck yeah! Don’t let anything change that, Apricot-Boy!” the dragon giggled with a soft smirk. 

  Things are getting better! And for now, the future's looking bright!

—Purple Bo Staff Era, End!—

Time skip! - Hero is Born - 6:00 A.M.

  When the Little Sky awoke, he saw something he didn’t expect - “Good morning, Xiaotian-’”

  Mk immediately sat straight up in his bed, disrupting the shadowy hallucination. Oh.. Must’ve just been some sort of lingering bit of his dream or… I dunno - something.   “MK! GET DOWN HERE!” Dadsy yelled up to his son, who flinched and covered his ears in response to the volume. 

  “YUP! COMING!” the younger man yelled down in reply, getting changed as quickly as he could and still adjusting his headband by the time he reached the bottom. “Hey, dads!” he said, walking over to the older couple. 

  Pigsy was getting things ready for the day, but Mk’s attention was quickly drawn to his Ba Ba instead. Mr. Tang was rereading the legends of the Monkey King again, and was on the final chapter. The story of When the Monkey King Retired! (Aside from the “live” appearances he still does on TV shows, and every single time he shows up at a convention. After all, he might not be a hero anymore, but he’s still a celebrity!) 

  “OH! I love that one! Can you read it out loud for me?” the Monkey Kid exclaimed, leaning over his Ba Ba’s shoulder excitedly.

  Before Tang could respond, his husband responded for him. “No, kid. You got work to do. No slacking!’ Pigsy stated firmly.

  “Oh, don’t worry, Pigsy! I’ll be done by the time you’ve finished the orders!” the scholar claimed. “After all, our Little Monkey has been stressed as of late. It’s only fair to let him enjoy his morning!” He jabbed his elbow into Mk’s side lightly, as though to say, “Play along.”

  The youngest in the room quickly got his excuses in order. “Oh!- Uh, Yea- Yeah, Dadsy! It’s just one story! Please?~” Xiao Houzi pouted at his demonic parental figure.

  Pigsy didn’t even look. “Doin’ puppy dog eyes again?” 

  Mk’s face immediately fell to a more genuine frown. “Well… yeah..”

  “.. I’m gonna regret this, but ONE story. After that, ya’ gotta help me get ready,” the demon relented to the brief whooping of his husband and son.

  “I’ll be done before you know it!” Tang claimed. (He was not done before they knew it)

—

  After listening to his Ba Ba’s story, (and a brief lecture from Pigsy) Mk was off! Sure, he heard the shadows muttering more than usual, but he managed to shut those up with a quick meditation break. 

  “Isn’t it fantastic, uncle? My father will finally be freed!” Red claimed, though Macaque was a little busy trying to decide how to approach his kid after this many years.

  The Little Monkey had to double check his GPS. That did not look like a house. In fact it looked like a construction sight. After confirming that it was in fact, the right address, he got in the elevator and started going down. 

  “Uncle?” The shadow sighed and went over to his nephew. His son could wait a couple more hours. This was once in a lifetime. Strange, though. It’s really close. 

  He soon realized what was going on when his son strolled through the door. A familiar bird perched in the rafters looked oddly pleased. That son of a bit-

  Mk quickly realized - upon seeing a gorgeous flaming-haired guy trying to pull a fancy staff out of the ground - what he’d walked in on, and scrambled up into the rafters. There was a strange bird that almost gave him away when an ominous aura filled the space.

  Of course. Of course Wukong still recognized what Macaque's homicidal aura felt like. The shadow was furious! He couldn't believe Wukong had actually decided that the kid was the perfect choice of successor. 

  Mk was unaware of the hidden figure plotting the Monkey King's murder. He was to preoccupied with what was going on below him. MK had never expected to actually see the Ruyi Jingu Bang with his own two eyes.

—Ruyi Jingu Bang Era, Start!—

—☆—

..So…

I’m guessing you guys hate me now.. Don’t worry! You’ll be seeing more of Macaque now! 

Have fun and happy scrolling!

(PS: Please don’t murder me!)

Prev- Chapter 9 and Next- Chapter 11

[lemyvents]

⚠️ Trigger Warning⚠️: Heavy venting/Mentions of Suicide/Aggressive Ranting/Abuse/Mentions of Self-Harm

⚠️Viewer Discretion is Advise!⚠️

Hello everyone, Nicole here, and this is something that I that I need to get off my chest. This is a vent post before I go on hiatus. If you are willing to listen please keep reading this post carefully and actually listen. I would greatly appreciate it a lot! ❤️

I am NOT doing this for attention or to gain sympathy, I don't want so much attention on this post and I don't want to get overwhelmed by countless people trying to support me. I'm just Genuinely venting out my true feelings about what I’ve been through and saying what I have to say. It's not organized so be patient with me, please, and thanks. ❤️

Read at your own risk!

As an actual Autistic person with ADHD and other disorders that I am not undiagnosed for, I would usually never post vents on here or anywhere else due to my trust issues with my followers and audience but…For the past months, Maybe even Years, I started feeling less motivated to do things I am passionate about such as drawing and making fan art or characters or for people that I care about. I would feel like my art is shit and did not receive the attention it needs, and I would struggle to try to improve my art every time I receive a comment about my art, I would get high anxiety and have a triggering episode of something traumatic such as being bullied and tormented from school in the real world.

Throughout my Elementary (5th grade) and Middle School days as a child, I was always tormented and harassed by other students and I would cry every time they made a threat to me, made fun of me for jokes that I didn't understand, and physically hit me and the teachers would usually do nothing about it. Nobody gave a shit that if I had Autism, ADHD, or Anxiety whatsoever, I felt like hell throughout school. I hated just about everything around me, I felt like an outcast, and I felt like I was not worth living for. Not to mention, I was dealing with my Ex Boyfriend cheating on me as well which made shit worst for me and made me Self-Harm myself and I cut myself with a Razor, trying to k*ll myself by cutting through my veins and letting myself bleed to death to the point where I lose oxygen and consciousness.

My mother started to be extremely concerned and worried about the cuts on my arm, so she took me to a therapist to get some help the therapist helped for a little bit until a new therapist arrived when I had another appointment with a Mental Health Clinic. The new therapist wasn't much help, to be honest, so we stopped seeing that therapist and then. After I moved from my old home to a new home, I transferred to a new school in the neighborhood where I live. The school wasn't very far, it didn't take long to get there by car, but never mind that! After I was transferred I felt more comfortable and open toward new people, but then, I started to get harassed there too at times, and made my mental health worsen more. Although…

During my high school years at my New High School, I discovered something that actually made me feel lots of joy in my heart. I started watching Roary The Racing Car. The show changed a lot in me. when I heard Maxi’s voice for the first time. I felt an instant connection with the Maxi. The more I watched Roary The Racing Car the more of a connection towards both the show and Maxi grew more and more. The show made me feel very safe and I would stim and get excited quite often Especially when Maxi was on screen and talking or whenever there was fan art of Maxi. I couldn’t help my autistic stimming whenever I see stuff like that or things that I am very interested in. I became so obsessed with the show that I collected some of the merch. I would ramble about how down bad I am for Maxi but….That’s the topic for another day and I don't feel comfortable talking about it at the moment.

So after graduating and still having love for the Roary show, My mom and I went out at night to pick up a friend of ours from work while my mom and I were sitting in the parking lot chilling then after so many people from around the public came around and started parking in spots that they weren’t supposed to be, it would trigger me and I started to go on a 2-hour rant about how much I hate the world and the people within this world. Then I started to think a lot about suicide, venting to her about how I wanted to k*ll myself. Then the next morning I still felt like shit, which then lead to my mom calling the Suicide Hotline then next morning because I felt like shit. After talking to my family and relatives, a team of mental professionals showed up at our home and asked me some questions about my trauma. After talking with the mental professionals, and LOOTTSSS of venting. I felt a lot of stress come off of me.

But…That doesn’t stop there. Even after some some emotional support, It would all come back to me like a boomerang just by getting jealous of others who are talented and gain more attention than me. One of my dreams is to become talented like them and show the world that I am just as talented as they are.

I would feel dehumanized by certain people, and sometimes those people would remove me from groups and unfollow me without me even knowing or without a given reason and possibly talking shit behind my back EVEN IF I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO THEM!

I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THIS WORLD RIGHT NOW, I GENUINELY FEEL LIKE I AM SECRETLY HATED…AND POSSIBLY EVEN SHADOW BANNED ANYWHERE ONLINE.

But eh…WHATEVER…People come and go I guess…

I would feel like the entire world is against me. I see the entire world as a threat to me and I feel hurt by the evil people. I am genuinely SICK of people seeing me as an attention seeker when I literally vent about something that bothers EVEN IF ITS THE SMALLEST THING EVER! People would say “I aM So tiRED Of yOuR vEnTinG It’S getting oN My NeRvEs aNd OLd !1!1!1 🙄😒” or “YouR just aN aTTentiOn seeker who FaKes mEnTal diSorDers foR aTTentiOn, You're noT AuTistic, ADHD, or have PTSD aNd DePressiOn!1!1!1 🙄🙄🙄 😒😒🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️” or “It’S noT mY fAult yoUR suffering!1!!1 😒😒😒”

SORRY THAT I CAN’T HELP MY FUCKING EMOTIONS, MY MENTAL STATE, AND MY MENTAL DISORDERS. SORRY THAT I HAVE FUCKING EMOTIONS. SORRY THAT I AM AN ACTUAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THAT IS TRYING TO LIVE LIFE. SORRY THAT I HAVE MENTAL DISORDERS THAT I CAN’T HELP. SORRY THAT I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!! THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU’RE SHITTY FUCKING PERSON AND DESERVE TO GO TO HELL FOR DEHUMANIZATION, ABLEST SHIT, AND ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR!!

I CAN’T FUCKING STAND GASLIGHTERS AND VICTIM BLAMERS WHO THINK THEY HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!! WELL GUESS WHAT HERE’S A REALITY CHECK FOR YA! 😃

NOBODY HERE IS PERFECT AND NOBODY HERE IS A FUCKING SAINT! FUCKING WAKE UP!

WE…ARE…HUMAN!!!

YOU HEAR ME….

HUMAN!!!

I am SOOOOO ready to die right now, it’s not even fucking funny. I can’t help but feel like shit total shit for what I do. I would isolate myself from things that bother me and try to cope with them and learn how to deal with situations I am in. It’s VERY VERY HARD to control. I am always desperate for emotional support and need of comfort, but I just can't bring myself to trust people in this big wide world…

Sometimes I wish I had never been born…Never existed…maybe the entire world would be happy if I never existed…

If anything I rather be hated for being myself rather than just faking a smile and bottling up my emotions! I rather express my feelings and be myself and make innocent people happy and be their emotional support instead of people tossing my kindness and compliments in the trash like it is nothing. If you do toss my kindness and compliments in the trash, Then FUCK YOU!!

Say all mean Shit all you want, but I don’t care, you’re just wasting time harassing me and others anyway!!

To People who have done me wrong in life such as my bullies, my former computer middle school teacher, my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, and others who harassed me online and treated me like shit….

FUCK YOU!! Just…FUCK YOU!! BURN IN HELL!! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!! STOP HARASSING ME AND MAKING ME FEEL MISERABLE. I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND THE BAD TASTE THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH!! STAY OUT OF MY LIFE AND GO MOVE ON IN LIFE GOD DAMMIT!! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON HARASSING OTHERS AND MAKING OTHERS FEEL LIKE SHIT. YOU’RE BEING A PIECE OF SHIT!! WAKE UP AND REALIZED THE DAMAGE YOU CAUSED!!! I HOPE YOU REGRET IT FOR ETERNITY!!

I…HAVE…HAD…ENOUGH…

Ughh…That was the cringest, cheesiest, and most tough thing to vent about. Anyway, that’s enough venting I said what I needed to say.

To people who listened and read this post and ACTUALLY appreciate me.

Thank you VERY VERY much and I appreciate you for listening to me, really and truly. ❤️❤️❤️

Now for my announcement. I am currently going into therapy and of course, I am starting college soon. I am mostly going to be on Hiatus and very busy because I am going to be focused on my goals in life such as becoming a successful artist, animator, storyboard artist, graphic designer, and game developer. I am going to step away from social media and spend more time with my family as well. I am going to explore the world and meet new people along the way. I am going to make my dreams come true and spread my wings. I want to come out of my introverted shell.

But, yeah, now that you have read this post, Again…Thank you for listening and I appreciate your support very much. ❤️

Thank you and I’ll see you guys when I feel ready to come back, I promise! I love you all that support me! ❤️

Goodbye for now! 👋

-Sincerely, Nicole ❤️

[tatsumessy]

You took my heart, and gave it a home - {008}

Synopsis

you, rin and all the blue lock boys are classmates in your final year of high school. both of you have to work together on a project so thankfully yours good friend bachira was way too excited to give it to you, but who knew that would turn into everyone you know and love finding out your worst secret.

Pairing

Itoshi Rin x fem reader

TWs

physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse

Taglist 💕

@shikamiru @babbymario @oppirate-blog @little-charlatan @vilarawaltn @miyuaditt @beidousbubz @saeswifeeee @heartstealer-law @sheeshizzy @justxiao @tsukishiro-yue2402 @bbg-blue-lock

“Y/n?” Looking up you saw your aunt standing by the entrance, she didn’t even give you the change to stand up before she was attacking you with a hug. “Are you okay?” She asked and you nodded your head but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. “Come on, let’s get you to the car.”

She walked you over to her car and the both of you got in and drove to a little diner so that you could eat. “So…what’s making you so mopey?” She asked taking a bite out of her fry then looking up at you, poking at your food you shrugged your shoulders and let the past few years replay in your head. “Is it your dad?” “Mm no. I’ve been dealing with him for four years now…” Aunt Lia sat up straight then clasped her hands together.

“That son of a bitch is going to prison, I can promise you that but if he’s not the issue then what is?” You let out a pained sigh and looked out the window watching people walk by with genuine smiles on their faces. They weren’t faking it like you normally would, you were jealous… “there’s this guy that I really like at school and he found out about the bruises and what my father does to me. He took pictures and used them for our project which wasn’t really the issue. It’s just that..” you paused catching your breath because you could feel the tears forming.

“It’s just that I feel so weak and useless. Before he found out I felt like I was dealing with this issue my way. Now he knows and even took pictures it’s like I’m being judged for letting it go on for so long. And deep down I just feel like I’m fucked up in the head for letting it all happen. I-I even hid this from my friends telling them that I live with my d-dead mom.” You hid your face behind your hands crying silently, your aunt got up from her seat infront of you and slide into the booth next to you.

She wrapped her arms around you and forced you to lean on her. “It’s okay Y/n. You’re brave for doing what you did. They are going to understand why you did what you did, I just wish you would’ve said something to me sooner so you wouldn’t feel so alone.” She said voice cracking in the middle of her sentence. “I was so scared!” You shouted into her shoulder only loud enough for her to hear, “I took my frustrations out on him…he didn’t deserve to be slapped and yelled at.” You admitted feeling guilty for snapping at Rin, even though he was wrong for using your pictures for the project you knew he meant well.

What he did made you open your eyes and finally reach out for help… “I’m going to move down here until you graduate, then we’re going to get out of here.” She lifted your head and used the pad of her thumbs to wipe your face. “You hear me?” You nodded your head alongside hers, “is your father at work right now?” You pulled your phone out your pocket and the first thing you saw were missed calls and messages from Rin. Your heart twisted again and you decided to ignore them then look at the time. “Yes he should be.” “Okay let’s go get your stuff and we’re going to stay in a hotel tonight.” You replied with an okay and the both of you headed to your apartment to get your things.

When you unlocked the door you immediately heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. “Y/n! Where the hell have you been?” Your father yelled coming into view, “I got a call from the school saying you weren’t in class, where th-” he paused seeing your aunt walk through the door behind you. You were trembling so badly that your aunt could tell, she place both of her hand on your shoulders calming you down. “What are you doing here Lia?” He asked lowering his voice at his older sister.

“Im here for my niece. You son of a bitch.” She said walking from behind you and slapping him in the face, “How could you do that to Mira?” She yelled slapping him again and shoving him on the ground, you flinched from the commotion but stood there holding yourself in a protective stance. “Y/n go pack your things.” She said and you didn’t even hesitate before running to your room and grabbing the suitcase from the hall closet and rolling it over to your room.

Due to the apartment walls being thin and the door being open you could hear their conversation pretty clearly. One thing led to another and Lia revealed a secret that made you freeze in your spot. “SHES NOT EVEN YOUR CHILD!!” A struggled set of grunting could be heard and that urged you to finish packing your things faster. Your back was to the door so you failed to notice your father standing in the doorway with a large kitchen knife in his hands. You turned to grab the small keepsake box your mother left you that was right by the door, when you completely turned the knife dug right into your abdomen.

You couldn’t even recognize him at all, it’s like all life and color left his eyes and he looked relieved to be doing this. He pulled the knife out the plunged in back into your stomach and due to fear you couldn’t scream. It wasn’t until he back hand slapped you into your small bookshelf right onto the knife that was still in you. You let out a pained scream and dropped to the ground, he started to take steps closer so to try and defend yourself you took the knife out of you with loud sobs and shakily pointed it towards him.

Out the corner of your eye you saw your aunt run into the room and knock him upside the head with something. He groaned and stood back up but he wasn’t quicker than Lia. She grabbed the knife from you and held it up to his neck. The both of them started shouting at you, him screaming curses and wishes for you to die while she was telling you to run to the car. Too much was going on and you could barely see, your eyes were blurred with tears and blood and everything was hurting.

Getting into the fetal position you started crying harder hoping this nightmare would end. You wished someone would save you from this horrible horrible life, maybe it’s be better if you died. No one would care right? You were alone anyways, right? No one could possibly love a reject like you right? Someone who lets a forty year old drunk beat and rape them right?

Breaking you out of your intrusive thoughts a smooth voice called out for you. Lifting your head barely able to see it was Rin. Why is Rin here? You can’t hear anything he’s trying to say to you. Oh, he’s trying to pick your up, NOPE, that hurts way too damn much. Why is he helping you? Why is he handing you over to the ambulance and looking at you with those eyes. Those eyes like he cares. Like he feels like he might die if he looses you. You’re not that close so why is he making that face? Everythings getting dark, are you dying? Atleast the last thing you’ll see is Rin.

So much pain, you’re in so much fucking pain, but it’s worth it to be able to see this view. Right outside your hospital room are freshly bloomed cherry blossoms which meant graduation was right around the corner. “There she is.” You slightly turned your head to look at Lia who had just walked through the door with a bouquet of flowers in her hands.

You sat up slowly wincing a bit when you finally sat in the position you wanted. “Your secret admirer just dropped these off for you.” She said gazing at the flowers in admiration for sitting them down on the table next to your bed. “Thank you.” You said and looked down at your hands in embarrassment. Lia gently caressed the top of your head and bent down to get eye level with you, “What’s wrong sweets?” She asked and you just smiled trying to hold back the tears, “it’s finally over…” she nodded her head yes and you pulled her in for a hug thanking her over and over again for helping you.

“I have a surprise for you.” She said and let go, she walked over to the door and slid it open revealing Isagi, Chigiri, Nagi, Reo, and Bachira. They all gave you comforting smiles waiting for you to signal them to come in. “Guys when did you all become so distant with me.” The first person to run over when you said that was Bachira, he attacked you with a hug completely forgetting the injury. He apologized after being smacked upside the head by Chigiri. Isagi handed you a different bouquet of flowers and you set it down on your lap silently giving him an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry for not telling your guys what was going on with me.” You spoke watching as Nagi slipped into your hospital bed and laid his head against your lap. “Do you know how scary it was to watch Rin carry you out of your apartment covered in blood!” Bachira said expressing the feeling he was experiencing in the moment a week ago. “Guys where is Rin by the way?” You asked accidentally interrupting Chigiri, “he said he feels like he doesn’t deserve to be here.” Isagi responded fidgeting with your fingers.

“But he’s been sending me flowers everyday ever since I got here. I would’ve assumed he’d come to see me. He saved my life…” you said staring at the bouquet sitting on the table. “Excuse me, visiting hours are over.” The nurse said walking into the room with a smile on her face, everyone was compliant on leaving besides Bachira and Nagi. Bachira whined and shouted about not being able to spend time with his hospitalized friend while Nagi pretended like he was asleep. It was so believable, hell even you thought he was asleep.

Everyone ended up leaving, and once again you were alone. It was your last night in the hospital and Rin and failed to come and see you. This kind of pissed you off and you needed to do something about it, pulling the IV out your arm you got out the bed on shaky legs almost falling but kept yourself up by a miracle and walked out your room over to the nurses station to check yourself out.

masterlist - next

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶And I say hello🎶

Hello! Tis I! 💛. Your favorite anon. Oddly enough, right before I was going to send in this request, you posted about missing me. First of all, that made my night (like, honestly, I was having a bad night and it made me smile so big). Second of all, your most recent Blurryface fic was amazing (you’re making me into a Blurryface Tyler fan slowly but surely). Also, and I know you have absolutely no reason to care, but I’m going to the Clancy tour this week! I may drown you in your related requests…just a heads up.

Anyways, my request. I am currently in a master’s program (forensic psychology master’s students for the win!) and so I was wondering if you could possibly write a one shot where Josh tries to help the reader study for a test (doesn’t have to be forensic psychology related. Could be any class. Though I’d like it to be a college class), but ends up being more so a distraction/hinderance than a help.

As always, you can change this request up and bit if you like or you don’t have to do it. It’s up to you! Like I said, I’m but a humble freeloader and you are the artist. 😊

Study - Josh Dun x reader

Relationship: Josh Dun × Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1632

A/N: Rahh I love this idea! I’ve been looking forward to going to college and am in study mode so it’s perfect! When you submitted the request I was having a bad day too so I'm glad we're able to cheer each other up :) Forensic psychology sounds cool, I have a friend who is interested in doing it but I have no idea what it’s about other than crime and psychology. I'm wanting to do a major in cinematic arts (basically film school) but I'm not sure what I want my minor to be. I'm interested in so much it's hard to choose but I'm looking at music production, classics, or journalism. Because I've been working on my media studies project at school I though I'd make the subject she's studying for related to that (I hope that's okay). ALSO I’m so excited that your Clancy Tour show is this week!! That’s so exciting 😁 I have to wait till November, my show is the first international show and I’m low key scared that they’re going to change the setlist. I’m bringing my non clique friend to the show and if they decide to add or take away songs from the setlist she’s going to think I’m having a mental breakdown (which I 100% will be lol. In a good way). Anyways, sorry for the long intro/rant thing, I don't have many friends at my school and I needed to rant 😭

The last place I expected to be with Josh was my college library, considering the fact that he didn’t go to college and never planned to. In fact, I was pretty sure the last time Josh had stepped foot in a library was all the way back in high school. I’d only found out a couple months after we’d started dating that we had gone to the same school. He had graduated two years before me so we didn’t know each other but as fate would show, we met at Guitar Centre after I’d decided to teach myself drums. Turns out teaching yourself drums is hard and you do in fact probably need a teacher, and that teacher will probably end up being that cute boy that sold you your first pair of sticks. Normally, Josh and I would hang out at home or with our friends but this week I was in full study mode with finals coming up. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to meet me later?” I asked, finding an empty table to sit down at. I placed my bag on the chair next to me while Josh sat down on the opposite side. He was wearing a black hoodie that he’d bought at the mall the other day and a beanie, perfect for the autumnal weather outside. It had been raining a lot recently, the light pitter patter of rain becoming a common occurrence as we fell asleep each night. 

“I’m sure,” he laughed, folding himself over the table and resting his head on his arms. 

“Okay,” I shrugged, pulling out my computer and opening it to my work. I had a couple pages of notes to read, and a practice essay to write. Yay. College. Josh pulled out his phone and started scrolling through social media, the speakers of his phone playing music–loud enough to hear but quiet enough to not bother anyone other than me. With each scroll of his finger the audio changed, progressively capturing my attention and pulling me away from my own screen. Josh clearly noticed I was getting distracted because he put his phone away and pointed to the blank notebook page in front of me. 

“What are you supposed to be learning about anyways?” he asked, tilting his head slightly and peering over my computer screen. I tilted it back so he could get a better look, the display showing two pages from my textbook for media studies. 

“Well, I’m reading this textbook section about the media and how people have different lenses that they view things. It’s kind of interesting,” I explained. Josh smiled, resting his head on his chin and listening attentively. “It’s like how you’ll view a musician character differently to how someone who doesn’t make music would.” Josh nodded as if he knew what I was talking about–he did in fact have no idea. 

“Let me help you, I’m sure it’s not that hard,” he suggested. He got up and moved around to the chair next to me, grabbing my bag and placing it on the ground so he could sit down. While I knew full well that Josh wasn’t going to be any help but I wanted nothing more than to spend time with him–he was always busy with band practice or work, making me cherish every moment we had together. He pulled my computer closer to him, reading the textbook page and taking notes with my pen. As he wrote each word on the page I could feel my body tingle with excited nerves. Josh had always been able to do that to me. If he was close, I had to fight off the butterflies to the point where I would lose focus on what I was supposed to be doing–which was exactly what was happening right now. “You get that?” 

“Huh?” I looked up at him as he let out a soft chuckle. 

“Do you understand the concept? The uh, natural bias of viewers impacts how they see the characters in movies, books, and tv,” he repeated. I listened, taking notes and bullet-pointing what he was saying. He sounded almost like he was in the class himself, which was surprising considering Josh was the least academic person I knew. 

“Mhm, yeah,” I nodded. As the lunch period ended more and more students piled into the library, filling up the tables and making the room louder. 

“It’s getting kinda hot in here,” Josh said, pulling off his hoodie to reveal one of his band’s merch shirts and his perfectly toned arms. Twenty one pilots was starting to get more and more popular with their latest music being played on college and city radio, meaning the likelihood of him being recognised was rising every day. Josh was looking around the room as more people poured in but I couldn’t look away from him. My boyfriend was hot and I couldn’t deny it–I was practically drooling and couldn’t wait for that night, when we’d be able to snuggle up in bed together. 

“What?” he questioned, snapping me out of my daydream. I could feel my face heat up slightly. 

“You’re distracting,” I smirked, causing him to laugh. 

“How am I distracting? I’m literally just sitting here,” he pointed out. I tapped my pen against his shoulder. A large smile crept onto his face along with a flush of warmth. 

“You like?” he teased, causing me to roll my eyes. 

“Yes. A lot,” I joked back. I leaned my chin against my hand and smiled widely at him. “Stop staring,” he laughed. I couldn't help it. What I really needed to be doing was studying but Josh was the most distracting boy on the planet and if we kept going the way we were, I wasn’t going to get any work done. 

“I was supposed to be studying,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes. He knew how important my finals were for my grade and he knew how much work I’d put into my courses, but somehow he couldn’t hold back his cheeky self, even when it mattered. 

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands in mock surrender, trying to appear apologetic. He leaned back in his chair and looked at me with a sly smile. I got back to my work, taking notes and trying to figure out what I was going to write my essay on. Once again, Josh pulled out his phone, this time texting Tyler about their next gig. As he typed, he occasionally glanced at me. Without warning, he suddenly reached out and tickled my side, trying to get a reaction out of me. I laughed loudly and covered my mouth, trying to muffle the noise. 

“Josh! Stop it!” I took a deep breath between laughs. Suddenly, a group of girls approached our table, their eyes wide with excitement as they clearly recognized Josh. One of them spoke up, a blonde woman wearing a white crop top and a bright pink skirt–clearly a sorority girl, my mortal enemies. 

“Excuse me, you're Josh Dun from Twenty One Pilots, right?” Josh looked up from his phone, clearly taken aback by her boldness. He flashed the celebrity smile he’d been working on in the mirror lately and nodded. I rolled my eyes, trying to hold my focus. Josh shot me a quick smirk when he saw my reaction, clearly amused by the situation. He then turned his attention back to the girls who were bombarding him with questions. I could tell they were starstruck, which was weird considering that it was just Josh. The Josh I’d met at Guitar Centre, drum teacher Josh, wearing a blonde wig and making stupid skits Josh–my boyfriend Josh. A short brunette clutched her phone tightly, moving in closer to him. 

“Oh my god, can I please get a picture with you?” she asked, her voice quivering with excitement. I moved closer to my computer, trying to regain my focus despite there clearly being no hope. Josh chuckled lightly at the girl's request and looked over at me, noticing how irritated I was. He could tell I was trying to focus on studying for my finals and the sudden intrusion by the girls was clearly not helping. As always, he tried to be polite. 

“Sure, but can we make it quick? My girlfriend really needs to focus on her studies,” he responded, emphasizing the word ‘focus’ when he looked at me. I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. The girls nodded and Josh took a couple of photos, moving into different poses so each girl could get enough photos on each of their phones. I wondered if this was going to become more common with time, whether Josh will get recognised more often. According to Jenna, Tyler was getting it a lot but she’d found a way to cope with the fuss. She was always better than me at the celebrity girlfriend thing. 

“Thank you so much!” the blonde flashed an award-winning smile at Josh.

“Good luck on your finals,” the brunette waved goodbye. I was surprised they cared enough to even address me. 

“Thanks,” I smiled. The girls walked away whispering to each other about the interaction, clearly excited. “They were nice,” I said, turning to Josh. 

“Most people who recognise us are. The people who like our music are different, they care. But… you need to get back to studying. It’s already 5,” he responded. I looked at the clock on my computer and sure enough it was 5pm, we’d been sitting there for an hour getting incredibly distracted with each and every interaction with each other. 

“Remind me to never allow you to ‘help’ me study ever again,” I chuckled, getting back to my work. 

Josh pressed his lips to my temple and ruffled my hair.

“Noted.”

//

REQUESTS ARE OPEN HUMANS! I've gotten a lot more followers recently so feel free to request anything! Can't wait to see what ideas you guys have!

[willalove75]

Hello , so uhh I graduated highschool today I know it's none of your business but i just want to tell ? , don't worry I'm already 18 though i admit I didn't follow your rules since I've been following you since last year and I'm sorry for that , like really . I just want to express how thankful I am for your works and for you as a writer.

I've gone through a traumatic? event recently and I've been in a bad mental state for months since then but your writings helped me get through my worse days and without it I might not made it to this day. Your fics gave me comfort in my saddest days and nights (i know it sounds pathetic) but especially the Lady D ones , I'm a huge simp for that woman XD . So thank you , thank you so much dear writer for making and creating wonderful works that helps people. You don't know how much your work matters to me :D I look forward to whatever you write next.

-Ares

CONGRATULATIONS!!! That’s so exciting!

*obligatory finger wag for following before you were 18* lmaoo

But in all seriousness, this made me cry (in a good way!), thank you so much. I’m so, so honored that my little stories have been able to help you so much. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through a traumatic event but I’m so proud of you for getting to where you are today!!

Maybe it’s the postpartum hormones talking but this really touched my heart. There’s absolutely nothing pathetic about reading your comfort fics on your bad days, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone back to fics (both long and short ones) when I’ve been down and found comfort in the stories. The fact that I’m able to be that writer for even one person not only makes it all worth it, but it really makes my heart happy and gives me the encouragement I need to keep going when I feel like maybe I’m not so great at this.

Anyway, thank you so much and congratulations again!!!!💕🎉