#but everyone else in the system doesnt really care

[starlooove]

And I’m standing ten toes down behind Eloise

[blackknight-kai]

Please sir! May we have some jealous/possessive DO and Wukong?🥺🥣

A smattering of NSFW would be ok too!!

(New in the fandom so still learning the ropes and many names but your writing and ideas are so great! Really sucking me in deeper!!) ❤️🐵

Oh so you wanna see what he’d be like jealous/possessive huh? All right.

(Sorry if this one is a little meh, I’m very tired from work 😭 and I’m brain dead. it’s hard to make a jealousy one without getting TOOOOO toxic, not that I couldn’t do that but I wasn’t sure if that was wanted)

Below at the end will be a n.s.f.w for both monkeys and a slight yandere section. Be warned!

Destined One

This would be something that sneaks up on him. He is 100% not expecting to end up jealous or as possessive as he is. Honestly he grew up around a many mouths to feed and in such a social setting one gets used to sharing most things besides some personal effects. While he himself wasn’t always the most touchy feely of the monkeys on Flower Fruit Mountain and has never been jealous of the shared affection between the other monkeys.

Meeting you was something that changed everything for him. At first he considered you just the same as everyone else, another person in his life to share food with or occasionally a space to sleep at night on your mutual journey. Over time though something within him shifted. You’d grown to be someone important to him. Someone he could trust, care for, and be cared about in return. Your companionship was something he cherished and it went deeper than any relationship hed ever had, as he always kept to himself.

Over time you two shared casual touches or sometimes slept close together at night when it’s cold. He’d grown used to you always being near, his tail brushing against you or curling around your ankle or arm. Food is shared between you and sometimes a piece of clothing, like the time you’d gotten soaked and he let you borrow his robe top.

He hadn’t noticed, not right away at least, but his feelings began to take an interesting turn the more time he spent with you.

Before Getting together:

- [ ] He’s used to it always being just the two of you. So when someone joins your journey, be it a short time or an extended time, it throws him off for some reason.

- [ ] He gets irritated very quickly, which is shown through a particular frown on his face and his tail flicking. Jaw clenching and unclenching. He sighs or huffs more often and his shoulders are always tense as he watches you interact with the other companion(s). Mainly it’s you smiling or laughing with them

- [ ] He doesnt know WHY he feels that way or where it’s coming from. When you’re off bathing or doing something ALONE he doesnt feel like this. When your other companions are talking to someone else he doesnt feel irritated.

- [ ] Regularly sits close when he’s feeling like this, his back may be turned or he might be up in a tree, but he’s always listening. Can’t help it. His tail will be flicking or curling at the end in a motion of annoyance.

- [ ] He also feels a pit in his stomach whenever he gets like this and he often wonders if he’s sick or ate something bad.

- [ ] He has also gotten used to the casual touches you give him, leans into them, where as he may have just put up with it or moved away from it when he was home with the other monkeys. Seeing someone casually touch you or you them makes him clench his jaw and he has the urge to barrel his way between you and them.

- [ ] He might do just that actually, or he will do something impulsively to catch your attention.

- [ ] He also may just start pranking you a little more or ‘pulling your pigtails’ that kind of thing.

- [ ] He also might just go fight something. Anything to get whatever pent up irritation he has out of his system.

- [ ] Often finds his eyes on you, especially if there are others around and you’re interacting with them. Always vigilant of anything amiss going on (or so he tells himself)

- [ ] Won’t be as nice to companions if they push his buttons about you or catch on to whatever is happening. He’d be huffy with them or ignore them. When you aren’t looking might rudely prank them if they do this.

- [ ] It takes some time, but he finally starts to realize what’s happening and is VERY annoyed by it. He remembers when he’d seen others his age first start pairing off and finding mates, how they behaved. He hadn’t understood at the time, being too focused on his goals, but now….now hes understanding all the heightened hormones and the jealousy.

- [ ] Probably avoids you a bit….but he’s not really able to. Not when you travel together and spend almost all hours together.

- [ ] Bare with him, hes going to be a bit grumpy during this stage and probably make you feel a little like he doesn’t want to be around you but that isnt the case.

- [ ] Might brush your casual touches off or keep his distance. But he’s going to glower and huff when you interact with others.

- [ ] He is not used to the jealous emotions nor the OTHER feelings hes starting to realize he’s had. It’s not JUST jealousy due to having you to himself most of the time, he LIKES you.

- [ ] It’s scary for him, new.

- [ ] After a while he will come to terms with things. Probably sat for several hours meditating somewhere after he’d made you upset for his standoffish behavior.

- [ ] His jealousy from here on is more manageable, most of the time…..He also doesnt avoid you anymore unless he’s particularly angry about some interaction you had with someone.

- [ ] Hyper focuses on every interaction you have with him.

- [ ] Still hovers a bit when others are around you guys. Keeps his tail anchored to you and will brush it off as he didn’t know he was doing it.

After getting together:

- [ ] When you’d discovered he was jealous of your attention on others you find it amusing and endearing. He had rolled his eyes at your teasing and you both kind of just assumed it would dissipate over time, especially now that you were together.

- [ ] It does not.

- [ ] It settles a little, mainly because he can have you close or have his tail wrapped around some part of you as much as he wants now.

- [ ] And he trusts you. Knows you like/want HIM. Which boosts his ego.

- [ ] But…..he’s grown a bit possessive.

- [ ] Not in a bad way, he’s not gonna keep you trapped or prevent you from having friends etc.

- [ ] But if you smell like someone else(from a hug)? He’s gonna make sure to rub himself on you and reaffirm HIS scent is on you.

- [ ] No one else better touch you with their tail - that’s HIS privilege.

- [ ] He might walk by you and rub his tail on you to show you’re his as you talk to someone or just in general.

- [ ] Holds you tightly to him when you sleep/cuddle.

- [ ] If a hug from someone else (that he perceives may want more from you) he will pry their arms off you and move you away.

- [ ] Just to be close to you would stand behind you and hug you/hold you while you interact with someone.

Wukong:

Wukong knows fairly early on what’s happening to him in regards to you. It annoys the ever living shit out of him though at first. He’s been around long enough and has seen his fair share of lovers and jealousy in others over the years. Believe it or not he’s quite possessive/protective of what is his. He’s a king so in a way he has to be. He generally takes what he wants, be it food or things he finds interesting. Wukong isn’t toxic about it but he’s egotistical and arrogant mixed with chaotic mischievous energy so…he just always does what Wukong wants to do.

He’s grown up around his kind and they share so much. Be it grooming, food, items, protection and time. But as a king he’s grown to be a little selfish in his wants. He’s kind too. Funny. Playful. All the things we perceive him as.

One thing he’s never been though, is jealous romantically.

You’re someone that he doesn’t want to upset. So that means he can’t just treat you like a possession. He respects you. Cares for you. It’s a pain in his furry ass but a pain he wouldn’t get rid of. Why is it a pain? Because he kinda has to behave sometimes….cant have you disliking him. And his jealousy over you can be so…overwhelming. Makes him feel like a monkey cub.

Before Getting Together:

- [ ] Dramatic ass. That’s him.

- [ ] Expect to not know what crawled up his ass and died because he won’t tell you.

- [ ] Instead he’s just going to pout around being obnoxious. He’s gonna be grumpy sometimes and probably rude to others and you won’t know why. But his chest burns with irritation at the thought of someone else close to you.

- [ ] He’s old in age not in spirit okay?

- [ ] He will insert himself into most situations….private convos? Never heard of ‘em.

- [ ] He will lean on you or be in your space specifically when around others.

- [ ] His tail is always somewhere close to you if not anchored to you usually visibly just to make a point.

- [ ] The guy is the epitome ‘has crush on someone and proceeds to annoy them forever until they like him’. Especially when you’re not focused on him.

- [ ] If you manage to get him to unglue himself from your side while you spend time with someone else, he’s going to be only a few feet away being annoying, huffing and making noise. Or groaning that he’s bored. His tail is going bang on whatever is next to him or be flicking and swishing with irritation.

- [ ] Will try to turn conversations you have with others or derail them and wants to boast about himself. Or just get you to focus on him.

- [ ] Will definitely do stupid shit to make you look at him.

- [ ] He is going to use tricks to bother others who look at you twice (friendly or not). Won’t hurt them unless he has to because it may upset you. (Unless you don’t find out about it)

- [ ] Definitely tries to intimidate people when you’re not looking.

- [ ] If he isn’t near you a clone probably is somewhere close by watching - especially if you’re alone with someone he thinks might be into you/a threat to his position with you. Won’t do this if you’re bathing or have asked him to fuck off he remains respectful of that.

- [ ] If he’s particularly frustrated he will go cause some damage somewhere…

- [ ] Glowers at people when you are extra kind to them or smile at them a little too long.

After Getting together:

- [ ] He’s gonna settle down a bit mainly because he can just literally pull you to him and you won’t be upset about it.

- [ ] Secure in your relationship. Hes a king, he’s HIM, why would you have to look anywhere else? Exactly. You wouldn’t.

- [ ] Acts relatively the same though, pouts and gets huffy/his tail is whipping if you give someone else too much attention.

- [ ] Will insert his head onto your lap or be in your space while you talk to people, will calm if you pet him or scratch him.

- [ ] Does NOT like others making you do that one little laugh you do. Nuh uh, only he can do that.

- [ ] Tail is around you at all times if he’s next to you, visible to others as a show of claim, that you belong to each other.

- [ ] If someone even dares flirt with you? Yeah….they better get good at hide and seek.

- [ ] Would get you things and rub his scent on them and have you wear them.

- [ ] Definitely rubs his body on yours, wants to wear your scent too and wants you to smell like him.

- [ ] If you don’t and smell like someone else and it’s not someone he knows / trusts he’s gonna be big old ball of pissy and you’ll have to let him smother you for a bit with grumpy cuddles. (If it won’t make you mad he’d go find out who it was and fuck with them - scare them or play tricks on them)

- [ ] Will always know where you are for safe keeping, you can do you but he will have someone if not himself keeping an eye out for danger.

- [ ] Your place is next to him. Won’t stop you from making friends or anything because duh he has them too, but everyone, EVERYONE knows you’re his and he’s yours.

NSFW for Both Monkeys:

- [ ] You wear his marks under your clothes. And His scent.

- [ ] Will gently touch the marks he’s left on you with his teeth/lips or fingers, it’s your little secret.

- [ ] Likes full naked body rubbing on you for maximum scent coverage, for the both of you because he likes wearing your scent too.

- [ ] Will cum in/on you and rub it into your skin during sex.

- [ ] Will have you often/as often as he can.

- [ ] If he’s pushed too far he will carry you off (far out of sight and hearing range) to somewhere where he can reaffirm your relationship. Be it renewing a kiss mark or possessively touching you.

- [ ] ^ This includes making you orgasm multiple times to reaffirm that HE is the one that makes you feel this good.

- [ ] Would hump you, you both fully clothed, just to put his horny pheromones on you before joining others.

- [ ] Dont get too horny around other people (we know it would be his fault) but he would get jealous of it because THAT scent is for him alone.

- [ ] His tail will cheekily caress your ass or between your legs, when no one is looking because he respects you but also you’re his.

- [ ] Will squeeze your thigh or hips or whatever he can reach if he’s feeling extra possessive or jealous about something.

- [ ] Might not wash your combined scent and your juices off of himself right away. May not let you bathe his cum and scent off right away either. But will not force you to go unbathed, he will just rub his scent on you after your clean.

Extra nsfw - Slight Yandere

- [ ] Will NOT allow others to touch you.

- [ ] His scent is NEVER off you.

- [ ] Will cum in you and you will have to deal with him being inside you all day.

- [ ] Will rub his cum on you and you will have to wear that too under your clothes.

- [ ] Will keep you on his cock as long as he sees fit to remind you of who you belong to.

- [ ] You. Are. His. Will fuck you within ear shot of others- might make you try to stay quiet and “punish” you if you’re not.

- [ ] Won’t let others see you naked though. That’s his right.

- [ ] Will keep you to himself for DAYS just to renew his claim on you.

- [ ] You might wake up to him touching you or fucking, especially if he had a dream you went to someone else.

- [ ] His marks will be visible and glaringly obvious.

[genderqueerdykes]

i think people who doesnt like men and despise them are just traumatized. i mean its the experience of being mistreated for years that it makes them unable to trust men again. their reactions is maybe too harsh but i can see it being "i just doesnt want to be hurt anymore"

i agree with this take and i don't care if that bugs people

it is okay for a person to say that they have experienced trauma due to the current patriarchy we live under. it's okay to say that. however it's not okay to project one's trauma with those specific things on to every man they encounter. we must not project our trauma on to people who are not hurting us. it does not help us heal. it keeps us trapped in the cycle of negative thought loops, paranoia, fear and disgust

i agree with you completely, people who take this trauma to the extreme without reflecting on their experiences and admitting that the trauma was at the hands of that one person, those people, or that organization just lose they ability to trust an entire gender and decide that pathologically avoiding and hating men is the way to move on and cope. it's not, it never is. to avoid one's trigger for the rest of one's life is to not going to help someone get over it. it has to be addressed at one point or another

there are many men out there who are horrible but there are horrible people of any gender. our current patriarchal society is flawed because we designed a structure built around worshipping men and placing them in positions of power over everyone, especially women, but only if they fit into a narrow box of what a man 'should' look, act and sound like. we torture men, women and everyone else in this society.

men are forced to be the 'perfect' man in order to be validated and accepted as 'real' men. men cannot have long hair or else they 'look like a girl' or are 'too faggy'. men have to be physically fit or else people are ashamed of them or tell them they are unattractive. men are forced to be the 'man of the house', boys are forced into this at young ages. men are only allowed to dress in certain ways depending on one's culture. in the US men have to wear very plain clothes with muted colors. gestures and mannerisms are also scrutinized as well as career choices. only 'masculine' career choices are approved of

we place insecure men into positions of power and tell them to control everyone and make sure that women don't get those same rights and abilities and that's a huge issue but not every man is doing this. our issue with men is systemic due to the patriarchy we live under- men are not genetically or inherently violent, evil or shitty. we are grooming men and certain men catch on to the programming and take it very seriously and many wish to live outside of it in order to be themselves

the way we treat women in this patriarchal society is abysmal. it is shameful to behold- yes women are treated in an absolutely subhuman fashion in most regards of life when it comes to what we experience. it's maddening. but we have to understand that if we stop programming men to behave this way, this will not continue to happen anywhere near as badly as it's happening right now

the average man you meet on the street is likely not a danger to you at all whatsoever. most people aren't. most men don't really want to be a macho stereotype. most men just want to go about their own personal interests. it's okay for them to do so its their right. opening up one's self to average men who are honest and in touch with their interests is pretty eye opening- men also come in all kinds just like anyone else. men can be gentle and caring just as much as they can be difficult to be around. men are people

i agree with you. people project their trauma of what theyve gone through on to people who have not hurt them and it's not a good way to approach community and how one interacts with the world. it's fine to call out men when they do something shitty, when they're misogynistic, when they're being violent, but we also have to let men be gentle, quiet, caring, creative, passionate, loving and so on. because men are capable of those things. it's that simple

hope you have a great day, thanks for stopping by to chat

[opal-owl-flight]

in an au where someone else were the agents, what would the agents life be like instead? (for eight, Octo expansion still happens but like she quits agent work after that)

This is a very interesting ask! This is a "things go well despite someone else filling in their roles" situation. Only got 3 and 4 so far bc I know who'd replace them EJDJE

Under readmore bc long! Also bonus Alt!3 art under there

4/Rain remains in the turf leagues after highschool. Sometimes working Grizzco for the cash, but once she went pro she left. A huge bitch to everyone, teammates and opponents, yet somehow making it work. Shes proud of where she is. She made a great life for herself here in Inkopolis and shes not going to let ANYONE forget. Doesnt help that the squids in that particular community/rank are also rude as fuck. Shes imitating the common attitude to fit in. Find SOME place she feels she can belong.

Marie called to her from the sewers to be Agent 4, but she declined the offer. Because...

...of 3/Tanara.

This snooty bitch of a squid also made a good life for themself after escaping from an oppressive home. Hows Rain any special? Worst of all, theyre one of the few who can go toe to toe with her on the field, snarky comments and everything. Rain's sure that they enjoy seeing her stumble (they do).

Proud of their progress and skill, they tend to (literally) look down on anyone that doesnt impress them. Their prior training as a squidling really helps them dominate matches, in both combat and strategy... Tanara lives for the sport. Their life is sport. Its the life theyve always wanted -- a life of play and fun and fresh vibes forever! If its too easy, wheres the fun? They seek hard fights.

Rain impresses them, for sure. But they also just LOVE messing with her. Rub in her face how much better they are. Its exhilirating to see all that bluster crumble! Yes! The bitch is down!! Eat your words!! Type of shit.

As for the other two...

John would still be great as an Agent 3 — remarkably, he doesnt get sanitized bc he takes care of himself and doesnt crash headfirst into a blender. he kicks it instead. doesnt get knocked out.

Hes kind as always. very supportive of a terrified all the time Sun. Hes like…a silly agent 3. hes goofy hes a lil stupid hes John

John does get war hardened but its not as intense a time as 3 had. Hes still smiling a lot! probs the fact that he had a good home life and a good support system in his team. (Tanara is in his team!! Hes the one usually reining them back from emotionally wrecking opponents. Hes also the one who makes Tanara's soft side emerge! They have one. Its just buried under their desire to be Cool)

and Sun? he never got into Grizzco. he became Agent 4 and saved the world! barely!! he keeps running from the troops until Marie has to drag him back by the ear! John carries Sun around like luggage a lot. its comforting for the nervous wreck.

------

3 was just…theyve already been dealt a bad hand, and the universe kept expecting more from them. theyre under so much pressure, all the time!!

at least here, they dont have to worry about anything but their win streak and how 4 is annoyingly cute

Anyway. More Alt3!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could I request TADC with a character who has abandonment issues and is afraid they’ll be left alone again? 🥺 thank you in advance!

TADC cast x reader who has abandonment issues!

rubs my silly little hands (the admin also has abandonment issues/is working through them) gonna answer a few requests then i think i might make meringue cookies (they have a weird packing peanut texture that i love. or at least how i think they would feel, admin has never actually touched or chewed a packing peanut but he likes to think this is what they feel like)

CAINE:

honestly if anything you might have to ask him to give YOU some space; caine in his spare time always wants to spend it around with you. doesnt even matter if you guys are doing something, he will literally just hover and run his mouth because he just cant get tired of you. so i think out of all of the cast hes going to be the one where to feel the most secure around since he pours his heart out about how much he loves you (whether platonically or romantically!). even when youre away off doing something else, hes likely gushing about you to anyone who will, and sometimes even wont, listen. embodiment of the "shes my girlfriend ehehe" mickey mouse meme that i saw going around a few weeks ago; point is theres nothing you need to worry about! however he listens when you share your worries, and squashes them down with reassurances and affirmations

POMNI:

oooo okay so this one is interesting because pomni is actively looking for an exit out of the digital world. and i think that this is common knowledge to just about everyone around her, you included. so i think that this might very likely feed into your fear of her leaving you behind... because what are the chances you guys would reunite if she actually found an exit? i mean can you imagine? and thats even assuming you guys would remember your time in the digital world when you return; im kind of on the fence on whether or not the digital memories would still be there after an escape, since you forget everything when you enter the digital world... (also as a side note for fluff with that idea imagine meeting with whoever after escaping and not knowing youve met before but you guys still fall for one another. this isnt just for pomni but for any of the characters. love that idea, so much)

anyways, as ive said a few times before pomni is... not good at comforting... but she sure as hell were try.. though, even she doesnt seem so sure of herself when she says shes going to be looking for you when you both escape, like shes scared you guys will be separated forever

"together"

RAGATHA:

as sweet and caring as ever, if you confide in her about your fears shes going to make sure youre not left in your thoughts. the best at reassuring you, and perhaps even pulls up an activity for the two of you to do together so you have something to get your mind off of it. if you dont approach her, shes going to notice that something is wrong with you and ask you yourself if youre okay and if theres something on your mind... does her best to stamp out your thoughts of fear and doubt, shes not going anywhere and she doesnt intend on abstracting anytime soon (though, can she really help it, if she ever does?)

point is i think out of all of the characters shes going to be the best in terms of comfort and making you feel safe and secure; and if it makes you feel any better you guys come up with a system of sorts to pin down the other if you guys ever escape the digital world; so you can find one another.. very sweet stuff, i think

JAX:

while ragatha is the best in terms of giving comfort and security, jax is probably the worst. the guy does not particularly scream the most emotionally mature and available; if anything i think he might brush off your worries with soft jabs like "dont be dumb, im not gonna go anywhere" or something in that vein. as per usual i think it would take you showing real big signs of distress for him to drop the whole asshole thing and try to make you feel better and assure you that hes not going to go anywhere. and even then its still a little.... eh... i mean jax isnt the best at comforting people; its not really his... thing, you know? sure he wont turn his back on you or make you feel bad (on purpose) but his main way of assuring you is just pushing the statement that hes not going to leave you be ("besides, im not done messing with you yet,") and even offers to hang out with you for the day/until you feel better

KINGER:

similar deal with caine in the case of "youre probably going to be the one asking for space" simply because kinger is too paranoid that something is going to happen to you that hes always trailing you and keeping you in his line of sight... honestly, i think his fears might even mirror your own; youre scared that hes going to leave you behind, and hes scared that something is going to happen to you and you wont be around anymore. neither of you can bury the thought... and in a weird, and perhaps even an unhealthy way depending on how intense it is and how you personally view it, you guys find comfort in your shared fears. like a confirmation that the two of you are too afraid to let go... you poor things... in short, you dont need to worry about anything, kinger is not going to be going anywhere..! in terms of comfort, he lets you hug and hold him and mess with his robes fur while reassuring you. back pats n rubs are in order, me thinks

ZOOBLE:

while zooble might come off as mean and cold, i dont think theyre exactly an asshole. sure they can come off as such thanks to their tone and attitude, but they care about you and while they struggle with expressing that... theyre trying their best... so at least theres an effort to let you know that they at least enjoy your presence..! their... flat voice doesnt really do them any favors but thats just how they talk. very firm in telling you that theyre not going anywhere, and to the point about it. while the others may go on tangents about why they wont leave, zooble will be blunt in simply saying that they care about you and that youre cool and that theyre not planning on just up and ditching you. now THATS not cool, unless you did something to them that warranted such a reaction... but what are the odds of that + then they would be in their right to bounce yk?

that aside, theyre firm and blunt in terms of comforting you, and often times offer to let you take the reigns for the day to choose what you guys do, in an attempt to make you feel better with something you enjoy!

GANGLE:

oh ho ho i think she would also have abandonment issues.... i mean it comes with the shy artist thing, you know? outcast weird kid who actually is a neurodivergant individual energy, you know? ponders. so i think, similar to kingers piece you guys find mutual comfort in the fact youre both so scared of the other leaving (again, the energy around that is up to you) and in an odd way it brings you two even closer. though, i dont think that would be enough for either of you to actually overcome your fear of abandonment, because ultimately its both something you guys need to work on... but why do it alone? you guys probably share tips and build each other up, going through something with a friend/partner isnt as scary or intimidating as doing it alone... so thats nice, i think..! not many ideas for gangle, unfortunately but i think i will leave this open with the concept of both of you healing and all that :3

[spiritofpassionfruit]

Spoilers btw*

Something something Transmigration Crossover AU something something Luo Binghe (Bingge) becomes consumed with the idea of looking through all parallel worlds and dimensions for a Shizun that can love him and take care of him but each world's Shizun either rejects him or is already with some other self that he deems far worse than himself. It gets to the point where he is so far gone that the "Forces Above" have to step in or else he might lead many worlds to the brink of destruction. He has become too overpowered, too insane that the only way to stop this madness is to regress his soul and nurture that it with care so that it doesnt go back to its past state. And in order to make this plan work, the "Forces Above" send out the professionals among professionals (really not but they are the only hope for binghe now) to deal with this son of a virus!

Su Luxia, N1 Transmigrator from the Female Lead System; Song Qingshi, Protector of the World Tree; Abyss, up and coming star transmigrator from the World's Conciousness' Survivor Program; And System Y, new Master System. These four.... people (questionable) will have to find a way to restore Binghe's santity while not creating a complete deviancy from the main plot!

Su Luxia, transmigrated as wife #2653 : Seriously?! I'm good at canon divergence, not canon compliant!

System Y, transmigrated as another canon fodder villain: Why do I get to deal with another murder freak protagonist obsessed with someone older than them?! Well at least this one doesn't read minds.

Song Qingshi, transmigrated as the unnamed 12th peak lord: Can we still bring our husbands here? I miss Wuhuan already ):

Abyss, transmigrated as Ming Fan, pointing to Binghe: If I have to deal with this crybaby more than two seconds without seeing Prince, I will kill everyone in this room and then--

[nekropsii]

im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well

she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry

and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD

It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.

The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.

But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.

[enden-k]

I think Kaveh deserves to be admired more in Sumeru in a way that becomes more and more noticable. As a treat. Starry eyed students and collegues, former classmates, debate rivals, groupmates, etc. Everyone who has met him loved him, hates him, admires him or all of the above for his passion and kindness and stubbornness and beauty. People sabotage each other when they notice someone else is trying to make a move on Kaveh cause they want him for themselves. In the desert AND the rainforest, Kaveh is much desired by people far and wide.

Only too bad for them because Al-Haitham stole his heart when they were students and has held it even when they were seperate and before they even were a couple and tho their relationship now is private its also like an open secret for those who see them frequently and Al-Haitham is so fucking smug about it. He's amused by Kaveh's little admirers amongst the student body, knowing they stand no chance. He's a little annoyed but also amused by the staff and Kaveh's collegues, because he knows Kaveh is already in the palm of his hands (sometimes literally, squeezes Kaveh's butt).

He finds it hilarious tho that Kaveh is slowely starting to realise that people are utterly infatuated with him, maybe after the competition when he decides to let himself heal from his farhers death and gains just enough self love to notice peoples advances on him.

Also there is a "secret" off-the-books gossip publication that existed even before the downfall of the Akasha system with relationship speculations and the amount of thirsting over Kaveh in both an academic, romantic and physical sense is both increadible and hilarious and Al-Haitham definately has access to it.

idk i feel like we have really different ideas and headcanons and interpretations of kaveh and haitham. its cool if thats how you like to think of them tho, not saying that your characterization is wrong bc mine is different

i think its good the way it is. kaveh is a well respected senior and got a big name in everything related to architecture. the way i like to imagine is, that kaveh was this kind of popular student that was admired and loved by many bc of this radiance. he enters a room, he smiles at someone, and you feel how its gets 10x brighter. he is incredibly kind and considerate and passionate and always ready to help, a trait most admire and some may use. hes beautiful and his sense of aesthetics and his works are equally beautiful. he jsut seems so perfect and elegant and bc of people imagining how his life must be, he starts to pretend to be this person they think he is. he doesnt want people to see the cracks. haitham though, he sees them. sees right through him

i think kaveh is not dense or "cutely unaware that everyone wants him" or what tf ever. hes a genius on the same level as haitham after all. i think he is well aware what kind of effect he has on other people. its just that he doubts if ppl are genuine bc they admire a kaveh they fabricated. its just that hes bad at turning people down. you can see him get crowded by some kshahrewar students swooning over him and his works and while he is laughing and smiling and thanking them, you can see the discomfort in his shoulders when it gets too much. its that deep down he doesnt understand their admiration for him as a person bc the person they admire is a person they fabricated based on his achievements and their ideas. he sees his own imperfection and faults and failures and shame, knows that they have a false idea of him since he masquerades to save face. he thinks he is undeserving of the attention or affections. he doesnt let it show, he pretends and pretends and pretends

i like to think, since he is so passionate and pours his everything into his works, that as soon as the attention on his work shifts to him as a person, his smile gets wobbly. he cares about the arts and not much about the titles. he is troubled, always. he feels acknowledged but also shackled. acknowledged for his works and talents, shackled by the idea, the public image of the talented, renowned architect ppl have of him. i like to think this goes for many things

im starting to ramble so back to the topic, i think kaveh is well aware of the admiration ppl have for him, both for his arts and his person. some other ppl he cant read tho so thats where he gets all like "no way!" when haitham bluntly tells him they had ulterior motives based on their body language or phrasing

for haitham, i completely disagree with your idea. again, not saying youre wrong or whatever, everyone is free to imagine or interpret how they want ig

im a sucker for pining and yearning. if we talk about pre dating, young akademiya students kavetham, i like to think haitham always keeps an eye on kaveh. he might feel a little irritated by the amount of fellow students flocking around kaveh like moths to a flame but the moment he sees the slight discomfort and strain in kavehs smile after a while, its gone. he soon learns that kaveh is too kind, too considerate so in order to help him out a little - and also bc it rlly is starting to annoy him as well, all that noise - he gives kaveh an out to escape. as soon as they start to hang out so often, ppl think twice about pestering kaveh bc haitham doesnt hesitate to tell ppl to calm down and shut up when theyre annoying. simply bc he doesnt care what ppl think of him, unlike kaveh

haithams main belief is that not everyone can be saved, thus people should prioritize themselves first - like this theres much less problems or trouble for others. its why he focuses on himself and cares for himself sm but seeing how kaveh does the exact opposite (the reason for their arguments and falling out), i like to think he cares for kaveh too bc who else does if kaveh doesnt

a troubled kaveh is a troubled haitham

he fell first and he is content with being in kavehs presence. he is fine with never making the first move bc he rather wants to keep their relationship as it is instead of bringing change that could very much end in them distancing. if anything, if kaveh ever felt the same as he does, hed rather wait for kaveh to do it, be silent and give him the chance. he regularly has the trouble of ppl approaching him like this, haitham has no interest in being one of those

ofc hes not aware that kaveh develops feelings for him after time but never approached him bc haitham is as indifferent and cool as ever. thinking that its unrequited and not wanting to make a fool of himself

later, in the present time when theyre in their 30s and together, i still dont think haitham would be smug about dating kaveh, the architect desired and admired by many. or annoyed or amused by ppl still trying their luck. bc haitham wouldnt even bother looking. he is confident and sure in his feelings for kaveh, in kavehs feelings for him; in their love. theres no reason for him to care or to bother with other ppl. tho i do like to think he might get pissed if ppl are really bold with kaveh. but if anything, i imagine kaveh is more of the jealous possessive type simply bc despite everything, theres still some fear in him that he might lose haitham and be all alone again. not bc he doubts haithams feelings but bc sometimes the fear, his anxieties, the thought hes still unworthy pops up

sorry for the word vomit, i just wanted to type out how i think of them and my thoughts jumped

[deth-of-a-junkie]

i have a lot of postal dude headcanons, so ive split them up.

so heres my postal 1 dude headcanons

p1 dude has a special interest on the jets and weaponry used in ww2 and the vietnam war, but also the U.S military as a whole. he specifically likes to collect vintage U.S military memorabilia and propaganda. he can go on for hours about the faults of the government and government greed and corruption, he hates the system. he also knows a lot about JFK assassination theories and will go on for hours about them.

oh yeah. postal 1 dude is autistic.

he also has a spin on guns. he knows them all by name and loves to learn about different manufacturers and how each one are built. he knows how to deconstruct them and put them back together. he even has some guns he's made himself. legal? probably not. he doesnt care.

p1 dude also prefers reading in books for information instead of searching the web for them, so amongst the mess of his house is just piles upon piles of books.

p1 dude also is great at poetry. he loves writing too, which is why i think he started his diaries.

he also loves drawing! he loves going out and drawing scenery the most, he also likes drawing nude figures. he finds the human body to be interesting.

p1 dude is religious. im divided on if i see him as someone whos spiritually aligned closer to catholics (though i wouldnt call him a straight up catholic, he doesn't like the church.) or pagen.

talking about pagen dude, correct me if im wrong, i dont know much about pagenism (but ive been trying to learn more as of recent), but he specifically worships greek gods. out of the gods, his favorite is ares.

he hangs around poostall dude a lot. they arent really friends, they're kinda opposites of each other, but poostall looks up to him as a mentor in philosophy among other things.

he used to be active in his local punk scene when he was younger. he has a lot of cds and tapes of obscure bands that almost no one has heard of.

he loves metal more then anything though, and he also has a large collection of horror films (all on vhs, a few of dvd. he doesnt have his dvd player plugged in so he only uses it if he has too. also refused to buy blueray. if its the only option he burns it onto a disk himself.).

his favorite genres of metal are melodic death metal and prog metal. i would also say dsbm but i feel like thats too corny. he loves opeth. also death.

he's non-speaking most of the time by choice. the older he's gotten the more he started to isolate himself, and he usually chooses to ignore people when theyre talking and not respond at all, mainly just people who ask for directions and stuff on the street he'll just ignore. he just doesnt feel the need too, he likes to stay invisible.

talking about that, he hates leaving his house. it used to be because of anxiety but it slowly became due to his other mental health issues getting worse, especially his fear of everyone being out to get him/everyone else being demons/whatever your interpretation of his reasonings behind postal 1 is.

3 in one shampoo. also uses hand soap to shave instead of shaving cream. also uses hand soap to wash his face...

he needs glasses. his sunglasses also has his normal prescription lenses in them, his eyes are sensitive to light so he chose to make them sunglasses too (i believe this is possible. if its not, well it is now). he also has a 2nd pair that are just normal glasses, he uses them only to read or when he's walking around his house at night. (this is totally not me self reflecting with the realization that i just found out i need glasses..../s)

I DONT KNOW HOW I FORGOT TO MENTION but also has a special interest on nuclear disasters, nuclear power plants, and radiation. theyre not separate theyre all apart of one fixation that branches off the core idea of nuclear power. like he cant have one without the other. if that makes sense.

also uses he/they. he doesnt out right say it, he doesnt use social media so its not like, in a bio or anything. he just naturally picked it up. will also accept she being used to refer to himself, but is not something he states publicly or asks people to do. he was surrounded by the queer community growing up as most of his highschool friends were apart of the community so he just one day realized he wasnt opposed to it being used in reference to himself.

he is an ASSHOLE. he used to be more considerate in his youth but the older he got the grumpier he got. he is SCARY when he insults someone. like he will have an entire ass speech of him just degrading someone until they literally have nothing left to say for themselves.

doesnt get angry though. he's calm when hes upset and frustrated, or will straight up just make fun of and make harsh jokes about the situation (i mean that like. if he gets into a disagreement with someone on the street he will laugh at them and mock them by teasing them. thats what i mean.)

[gaysnorlax]

the more i think about it, the more the dlc actually made me care MORE about miquella and malenia.

i had no feelings towards miquella except "ur sus as fuck" in the basegame, i thought malenia was cool as a boss but i didnt really care for her as a character. but the recontextualising of the dlc made me think they r pretty interesting. (big spoilers and thoughts under the cut)

if there is an item/dialogue that disproves me then i guess i am wrong, but from my interpretation miquella started with hopeful, uncomplicated motivations. but theres only so long you can keep that up in your not-erdtree before you realise your reach is only so much, and the good you do to these individuals is essentially Not Enough when you cant help everyone and your family is out there running a kingdom built on hatred. it makes sense for me to go from that to "i hate gods, i hate what they have done, but if this is the system in play then i will game the system". it even makes sense to me to abandon a sister who (imo) he loved dearly, because she is one person, and your new system will help Everyone. it makes sense in this mindset to manipulate and use her to go get your new consort, because once you have your new "perfect" world, there will be no need for manipulation- but youre not there yet, youre still living in the hateful world of your mother. it makes sense to abandon your soul-dead brother, because he is one person and in your new world, you can help everyone.

imo the consort stuff doesnt completely track with my theory, in that my theory is that radhan was chosen to give carian legitimacy and minimise outside threat to a world that you hope will no longer have to go to war. (ranni was "dead", and rykard is a Snake so. radahn is all there is lmfao, and even then its suspect whether radahn actually agreed), but the game seems to add a lot of personal feelings there which im not sure were always there. maybe miquella realised he had spurned everyone else who cared for him in his pursuit of a better world and held onto the only person he still had. idk. theres probably lore but i didnt catch every item or dialogue.

i do not think miquella is evil manipulative 100% no feelings scheming evil griffith, i think he had a dangerous set of tools (ability to completely charm people) and a dire situation that was not getting any better while he kept to the moral high road. i also have some thoughts that the st trina split happened as he started contemplating doing Bad Stuff, where she wanted to keep to their original morals.

anyway thats mY OPINION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i might be totally wrong, but this is just how the story and characters read to me

still dont care much about radahn tho lol x

[nemo-bros]

this is my new visual schedule:

i have no idea how to image describe pictures with so many things in them, so I'm sorry I have no image description, but I will do my best to explain the purpose of each page (left to right top to bottom)

the cover (keeps pieces from falling off if I put the flipbook in my backpack or something) the cover also has my name on it but I cropped this out

'first next then after' page (the main page I use, has my soonest upcoming tasks- I take pieces from the 'to do' page and put them here)

'to do' (at the morning I fill up this page with my tasks like cleaning, chores, and studying- I do have cards for other fun activities and eating but I only ues them on the first page in between tasks from this page)

'done' (when I finish a task on the 'first next then after' page I move it here- it gives me dopamine to see everything I finished that day and makes me less stressed about the amount of things I need to do)

hygiene page- this page is actually so so good its like a cheat code- If you take nothing else from this post at least take this idea: the top (orange) section is for the morning, the bottom (blue) section is for the evening. in the morning all the cards will be in the morning section, when I finish a task I get to move it to the evening section (repeat this for all 6 tasks). in the evening I do the tasks again but the cards get moved to the morning section this time. (if there's a day where I didn't finish then I just move them anyways the next morning as a "reset") this page is in my book but it's probably more helpful just to leave it in the bathroom on the counter or mirror or something (without systems like this I cannot take care of my basic needs, even with these supports and the additional supports in my home i cannot reliably take care of my basic needs)

images 6-9 show some of the word storage pages, I have a total of 10 of these pages

if you're curious at all how i made it let me know and i will post the steps i did to make it and where I got all the pictures!! (I want everyone to be able to access systems like these if they need them, so I am very open to sharing this)

something i really really like about this flip book is that its very tactile and very visual- it does not require very much brain power to use- I really like to just move around the pieces on the pages with the velcro as a stim

i was promted to do this because recently a teacher told me I just need to manage my schedule better and that I should be trying harder (little does she know I'm trying my hardest already)

ive tried so many types of schedules and routines and I just cant stick to them (this is one reason I suspect adhd in addition to my autism but idrk and it probably doesnt matter), but then after she said that I was like okay I guess this is a good excuse to try a visual schedule so I made one (very time consuming but also fun) and then am still disapproved of for some reason... I think she thinks its "too childish/I'm not disabled enough" which I disagree because if it helps and they need it then they should use it regardless of sterotypes- i think this is true for all adaptive tech and disability aids

my point in showing this is to let other autistc adults know that you can use visual schedules if they help you and to boost someone else's confidence for them to use an aid they are afraid to because its stigmatized (also yes mine looks kind of simple/etc but I chose to do it this way because it works good for my brain like this- not because its how all visual schedules should/need to look)

[morganalefae]

s3 morgana being "beyond redemption" is soooooo crazy to me like yeah trying to kill the evil tyrant king whos been murdering every last one of your kind is sooooo evil lock her up and throw away the key!!

such a prime example of a kick the dog character too. like they cant condemn her for just fighting for her right to exist so they have her executing civilians and trying to have gwen executed to make her into the villian.

and! the same goes for morgause! literally what did she ever do wrong? uther conquered camelot (said by him in the episode where gili fights in the tournament) and then executed hundreds if not thousands of people with magic but morgause trying to kill the king is a step too far? why? its almost like the show is actually on uthers side 🤨🤨🤨🤨

which leads me to: the fact that we essentially watch the entire show through the pendragon perspective. merlin protects arthur so everything we learn about the purge and magic and the old religion is from uther/gaius. so, biased, to say the least. one of the most important things they tell you when researching history is to consider where your information is coming from and how that persons perspective influences their discussion of it.

which is why i also dont consider nimueh to be a villain. shes an activist! yeah she tried to kill arthur that one (?) time but he didnt even die so. doesnt count <3 but we SEE her having a conversation ALONE with uther where she says she didnt know what would happen to ygraine and i just cant imagine why she would lie. if she really wanted to hurt him she could have said she'd known and killed her on purpose but i dont think thats the case at all. she says she never would have helped him if she'd known what would happen. like, surprise, if you hunt and kill people for the crime of existing they will fight back and its not going to be the way you like it and innocent people will die. because thats war. you ruthlessly slaughter her people and she will slaughter yours.

worlds most unstructered post. professors hate her. anyway the show eventually starts to take on a very firm, "merlin has magic but ues not LIKE those other magic users therefore hes ok :) everyone else is evil tho. except the druids (sometimes :|)", whereby merlin using magic is only allowed if hes helping or saving arthur (except all those other times but we dont talk about those i guess) and his stance on magic eventually warps until hes just kind of horrible about it.

100% unpopular opinion but gaius should have died in s2 or 3. he influenced merlin far too much and basically never for the better. sorry to gaius lovers but i do NOT like that old man. he advises merlin EVERY time to not tell morgana about her magic (which she has no control over and therefore is manifesting in ways that will absolutely get her caught), to never help any of the unfairly persecuted people of the episode or even to use magic at all. hes a bootlicking coward who only helped people he cared for or when it suited him. how many people do you think he watched burn simply because he didnt agree with the way they used magic, whether it actually "evil" or not.

merlin's only friends who know about his magic are an old conservative man and a guy who dies right when merlin could have used the support of someone to help him "come out" to arthur about his magic.

im firmly of the opinion that had he told morgana about his magic everything would have been literally fine. because alone and with loterally no support system at all, is it any wonder that morgana would go down the road she did? after years of fear and watching people just like her be burned for the crime of existing, with no prophecy or friends to tell her that it wont always be this way. you dont have to be afraid because youre not the only one and i wont let anything happen to you. oh wait. she did get told that. by MORGAUSE. not about the prophecy but how can they be judged by trying to bring about change by themselves. by trying to kill a king whos killed so many of their own people.

if the intention of the show had been to give a poignant message about the cycle of abuse (morgana succumbing to bitterness and hatred just like uther) or how fear can control you (merlin eventually becoming essentially the bad guy, judging everybody who doesnt use magic the way he sees fit, staying silent and contributing to persecution of magic people because living in fear can make you paranoid and bitter (sound familiar?)) then i would applaud because wow did that make me fucking cry! and hit actually very close to home! and it was tragic and horrible but also inevitable

but as far as i can tell that was not at all the point, because in the end kilgharrah tells merlin the prophecy has been fulfilled, albion is united and magic returned! hurrah! but. um. did i miss something? when did that happen? oh, you mean when gwen is queen....? so.... gwen unites the land of albion and returns magic to the land? except, merlin seems to have lived on until the 21st century of our world and magic is not what i would call flourishing atm.

so i guess my question is... well actually i dont have a question. actually wait i do. what the fuck?

[writers-get-biters]

sooooo tired of feeling bad and shitty and stuck and miserable

fuck my relationship ocd i hate it so much and also fuck being forced to do stuff i dont want by people i dont want to be with sometimes (like now )they get into some sort of fucked up loop where i feel miserable because of stuff in my brain and then theres external stuff which also fucks it up more so then my disabilities become more disabling because obviously and then i get blamed and hurt more externally because of my disabilities that are not! my! fault! and then of course that makes internal shit worse so then im just stuck in the middle forced to pretend shit doesnt suck and actually im fine and actually everythings fine keep being "jokingly" mean to me and pushing my boundaries i dont care i get it its actually really okay if you say something to me that most other people i know offline wouldnt consider mean even though i have told you to stop its okay if you dont stop i guess i guess its fine if no one listens to me and i have to sit in miserable silence by myself because i dont even feel like doing anything that any of my ceters enjoy like drawing or our data entry projects or video games or writing and it doesnt matter i guess that im so stressed because since its from an arbitrary authoritative institution everyone is supposedly fine with that makes it totally okay and actually the real problem is me and i guess im the problem and reason why no one wants to talk to me or communicate with me the way i want to be talked to or otherwise communicated with yeah my bad i guess its all my fault and im supposed to just suck it up and stop complaining and also its creepy and wrong and bad i guess for me to try to cope with any of this the way that i want to and i guess yeah i need to and should be keeping it a secret because otherwise ill make everyone else uncomfortable and thats the worst possible outcome btw no person left behind unless its me in which case utilitarianism is always right and we cant give a shit about everyone yk like someone is always going to be miserable but we should prioritize the most people so if i mention kink (ew) or my other interests (ew) im a horrible really bad person actually because im making other people (more important than me. btw) uncomfortable and upset also i should ignore the fact that i am systematically and systemically being isolated from and kept away from people who might actually show understanding and kindness towards me or be in a similar position and extend the kind of support i desperately need but its cool because you keep saying youre only doing that because im "better than them" and actually youre helping me because "those people" are bad and wrong and harmful and they might make me (simultaneously innocent and guilty) do bad things like drugs that might offer a chance to alleviate some of my pain or transition to a bodymind i& want or be angry or just generally be a "bad person" and not be able to participate in the joys of continuing the chain of oppression and harm. but its fine because its for my benefit actually because you frame it as ""those people" have it so hard and theyre so unlucky (because theyre treated like shit by everyone which is true because people's actions are definitely a matter of "luck") and i just want to spare you from that" how kind of you wow youre so sweet and nice to me right now because i havent violated any of your rules yet what a great person you are because you let me be myself to a certain extent (a tiny little eensy-weensy extent but thats fine because its more than i deserve anyway) and since im being invited to participate in the continuation of oppression and pain it would be pretty rude for me to say no and if i did say no it would definitely justify treating me badly and doing all of the things you do to "those people" to me because im technically actually even worse than "those people" because i could have been normal i could have just accepted your rules (that were literally killing me to follow) (not that you noticed)

and also on the other hand the people arguing against you get to use me as their fun little trick-up-their-sleeve because obviously its ridiculous to treat someone like me the way that you have and will and i can be used as a perfect little pawn

[the ceter who wrote this switched out around here, but before they did, it asked that the others of us post this vent anyway if they were unable to finish or post it]

[paingoes]

4 for Paris and Delta? Assuming they are compelled to give a pretty real answer for some reason….

4.)  How would they describe each other if asked? Physically? In personality?

answering for destroyer era because their answers will vary the longer they spend apart

delta describing paris

delta is so glad you asked and does not need to be compelled to answer, as long as he trusts you’ll keep it locked up.

delta would describe paris as extremely annoying and erratic and hard to please. he could spend a long time laying out paris’s specific issues and complexes and he would be able to give you a pretty accurate picture of WHY everything is such a mess. he views paris as being ultimately well-intentioned but too self sabotaging and self centered to get his shit together. delta is very frustrated by this. you notice his concerns seem to be strategic more than anything else. he doesn’t really bring up the way paris treats him and doesn’t seem to expect anything less. he considers it to be of secondary importance to the overall health of the system. his priority is that paris be successful so there can be political stability and so that he won’t have to worry about his ownership rights being transferred to anybody else.

paris describing delta

paris definitely tries to deflect from the question. delta is an object there isnt anything to describe. he doesnt have real thoughts. who cares. its weird that you’re asking.

after you pierce through that it becomes very obvious that paris is aware that delta is a person. he’s unsettled by this. he says he would rather just have a really big gun or something mechanical that he doesn’t have to constantly worry about bleeding or dying or secretly planning to sabotage him or something. but even as he describes it he seems a bit distressed at this hypothetical scenario in which delta does not exist. he thinks delta is good for the most part and that he’s smart and not bad company especially in comparison to everyone else paris has to interact with on a daily basis.

he thinks it’s creepy that delta is so…malleable. he’d mention how much delta is willing to put up with and how hard it is to get a reaction out of him. he says this with a mix of resentment and jealousy and finally a kind of begrudging admiration. 

[puhpandas]

Evan and Greg are basically your oc's!, what is your interpretation of Micheal in the modern au. Also how does mike not see Evan as a person?

Also flashlight duo is super cute

Has Evan ever been bullied at school?

the ocification beam hit them too hard...

I view Michael in my flashlight duo universe as being like. not how a lot of people portray him. as in he doesnt lash out for a reason. he isnt acting that way towards Evan because William told him to.

it's for sure affected by William's own actions, but as in Michael subconsciously learned those things. he isn't even on William's side really. he sucks as a father to both of them. it's just that michael doesnt respect Evan enough to see him as someone who is supposed to be on his side

Michael subconsciously learned growing up that everything Evan is is bad. and the cool people his age see people like Evan as weak, so he does too.

he lacks any emotional maturity, so a lot of his actions towards Evan are out of his own boredom and resent. he genuinely thinks his reactions are funny. if he ever did realize what he did was wrong, he would have to actually realize. he knows fully that what he does hurts Evan. he just doesn't care. he hasn't developed the intuition he needs to care. you know?

and Michael is around 16 if evan is 12. it's not that hes too young to understand, it's the lack of good parenting, or literally parenting in general. if Evans life is hell because everyone around him hates him, then that means its true. it means the people in hurricane dont like people like Evan (a boy who at his age should be getting manlier, but isnt. sensitive and emotional and physically small and lanky. evan literally has anxiety and paranoia and is neurodivergent and people dont really acknowledge that but they notice. and they don't like it)

the people in their town suck and are mean and so is Michael's father. so of course hes going to stick to what hes been taught and to everybody else who also believes it and is on his side. he was never taught that what hes doing is wrong. hes a bad person but it's a product of horrible parenting and the worst town in the world

in contrast to Michael, in the neglect and bullying Evan has faced its made him kinder. he is the one facing it so he wants to be kind to others instead of being like the people he hates.

I dont want to say he would be more in tune with his emotions than Michael because he wouldn't be. before Gregory, he was so unstable and miserable he was just a big ball of anxiety and emotions. he didnt understand his emotions and have that country mile on Michael's own emotional maturity because he didnt have it in him to learn

and by that I mean he didnt even like himself enough to want to help himself. hed been taught that theres fundamentally something wrong with him that makes him bad and weird and not like anyone else who's impossible to 'fix'. and hed been hearing that since he was a young kid, so of course hed believe it.

but then Gregory comes alone and slowly tries to strip away what Evan had been taught just by being kind to him and repeating kind things. the opposite of what everyone else did.

and that is what makes Evan begin to change for the better. the first thing he learns is that Gregory doesn't think something is super wrong with him that makes him bad and stupid so he starts to believe it a little, too. he begins to see how maybe how hes being treated is unfair and its him seeing himself as worthy of kindness that makes him upset on his own behalf. and what that means is he has better self esteem when before he was so insecure he could never even defend himself a little bit

and its after he gains some respect for himself that he learns how to help himself. he actually thinks he deserves it now, so with his support system in Gregory and his family he learns how he works. he learns what his phobias are and what sets him off and how to calm himself down. and of course he hoped all the way through that changing could be what 'fixes' him and the people around him wouldnt hate him so much. but like I said before its that self respect that confirms it's for himself and not for others

of course that stuff doesnt go away, but he improves. the people around him do notice. they dont care enough to say anything, they're more just suprised or happy hes shutting up in that mean way of theirs. but I think after a while of Evan being comfortable with Gregory and improving himself he would one day just snap.

before, he had layers and layers of nervousness and fear and anxiety and insecurity stopping his very high emotions from boiling over. and with the newfound respect for himself comes the anger on his own behalf of how hes treated.

so i feel like one day he would just blow up with all the emotion without the insane amount of fear stopping him. and it doesnt help, not really.

before, evan wanted to please michael and his father. but now that he wants them to know how much he hates them and how much they hurt him, they are pleased.

he gained more respect but in the worst way. not the way he wanted.

but back to their relationship, I think post-all of this, evan wouldnt want anything to do with him. let's say Michael does have a wake up call when they're both older. hes already ruined his relationship so much its unsalvageable. he caused evan to develop fundamental issues rooted deep (anxiety and paranoia, general things he learned about the world and certain people/groups and traits that he'll have to remind himself arent true) inside of him.

his family had their chance and they blew it hard. evan is definitely in the right to want nothing to do with him or William and to continue growing up and living and laughing with his actual family in his heart. they never get to make it official, but that doesn't matter.

anyway I went on like. a lot lol. for anyone who havent read my oneshot series this is based completely off of that au of mine and in my mind is canon to every oneshot if you do read them. thanks for enabling me to talk about flashlight duo lol you can tell I put so much thought into them every day its crazy

edit: to answer your actual questions lol: it's not that Michael literally doesn't see Evan as a human person, it's that he doesnt respect him enough to treat him with human respect. you know? everything evan is he has been taught is bad and worthless so that's what he thinks. so by extension evan is too

and yeah evan does get bullied at school. I always imagined it was less bullies pushing him into lockers and stealing his lunch money (Williams ass does not give him lunch money let's be real) and more that they just treat him awful. hes either invisible or in the way and then they dont care to be super rude to him. they dont just spout their exact thought process out but they all think of him badly and view him as a big joke. its less blatant meanness and more just treating him awful in general and that's what makes Evan think its normal and that hes asking for it when its not.

[actualbird]

this sounds rly weird to say but stick with me - i wish luke would get ill in canon. obviously he has a terminal illness which would weaken his immune system and while it’s great he’s physically fit i mean SURELY he’s way more susceptible to getting seriously ill from a cold/the flu, right?? idk i think i just want to see him being taken care of bc he deserves it but also i do like the idea of him being taken care of by the nxx and them looking out for him when he gets seriously ill from a virus/bug etc etc

i got this ask Before main story 9 dropped but only after did i wanna answer it because i totally feel u.....

i feel like tot doesnt let luke get smaller ails in canon because hes already dealing With The Big One Thats Killing Him (any more wld be overkill?). and though it's also true that neurological conditions dont necessarily always affect the immune system, it's still a dang shame cuz like u, i'd adore a story where it's the others taking care of him when hes down with a bad case of the flu....and given recent main story events, i reALLY WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE TEAM HELP LUKE WITH A LOW-STAKES AIL :(((

in true luke fashion, he'd probably keep it under wraps and make excuses until his absence at an nxx meeting cannot be ignored and they crash his apartment to see him in a MISERABLE little pile of blankets trying to remedy this by himself

mc: why didnt you tell us!!!! >:O

luke: it's not a big deal :( it's just the flu and already called aaron for doctor's advice and meds and everything, i can take care of myself

vyn: have you been hydrating?

luke, nervously: ..............yyyyyes?

artem, looking in his fridge: theres nothing in here but peanut's treats, what have you been feeding yourself?

luke, still nervously: ffffood?

marius, finding a pack of sliced bread near his bed: dude, have you just been eating bread???

luke, increasingly nervously because hes fighting for his life out here: i cant stomach anything else for some reason!!!

mc: uh huhhhh, you seem to be doing a Great job at taking care of this yourself :/

luke: ;-;

cue the team helping out: helping in cleaning the place up (when luke is miserable his place gets even Messier), cooking simple foods (artem's soup to the rescue), etc etc. luke would be So apologetic during the whole thing, constantly apologizing for being a bother, which is both depressing and grating to hear. mc almost wants to take two piece of sliced bread and sandwich luke's face in them to tell him "STOP SAYING SORRY!!!" but she knows thatll probably make him feel worse, so she restrains herself

for all luke's apologizing, he does feel better with the team helping out. but then he feels bad about feeling better (because HOW DARE HE....AFTER HE INCONVENIENCED THEM ALL!!!) and it's this terrible ouroboros of shame

eventually, mc sends the other boys out on a grocery run to help stock luke's fridge with fruits and other good snacks-for-sick-person, and alone in luke's apartment she sits next to him.

mc: hey, tell me the truth. you knew you were doing a cruddy job at looking after yourself, you knew you shouldve asked for help. why didnt you?

luke: ...i dont...like it...i dont like you or the others seeing me like this

mc: pathetic?

luke: i mean, yeah. but i meant....sick. i dont like you guys seeing me sick. because of, yknow.....being sick and useless and helpless, it feels like a prelude, and everyone else is burdened picking up the pieces around me.

mc: oh

luke: yeah

mc: hm. youre an idiot

luke: ????

mc: i cant speak for the others, but i can tell you that i surely dont mind seeing you like this if it means i can help. dont you always tell me to rely on you more? how about you return the favor, luke. let us help, sometimes. let me help.

and we all know shes way too good at setting up a winning argument.

by the time the others get back, luke is a more cooperative patient and a less-apologetic one. in the back of his mind, he figures it cant hurt to let himself feel okay getting help every once in a while.