#but especially when the others disabilities are hardly even shown and then to make a big deal about this one not being like that is weird

[echo-stimmingrose]

Fuck Frank Zhang being randomly neurotypical for no reason. He's ADHD and Dyslexic just like the rest of them he's just our, went so long being undiagnosed, representation. Oh he's also autistic.

[lostyesterday]

I’ve been particularly interested in analyzing how disability is depicted in Star Trek Voyager recently, so I wanted to make a list of episodes that involve significant representations or themes of disability and neurodivergence:

Phage, Faces, and all the other Vidiian episodes: I’m grouping these together because my opinion on them is similarly negative, both in general and from a disability perspective. Making your alien race scary because they’re visibly scarred and disabled and making that be the root of why they’re immoral is, uh… bad.

Meld: Lon Suder is pretty clearly neurodivergent, though given the fact that he’s a murderer, I don’t think this is necessarily a positive thing. Arguably, what happens to Tuvok in the episode is also disability-adjacent. I have mixed feelings on this episode and its portrayal of violence as innate, especially as that connects to depictions of neurodivergence.

Year of Hell: Not particularly disability-themed, but Tuvok is blind in the episode, and I like the way they portrayed that on the whole even if it’s reversed by the end of the episode. I’ve said this before, but I really like the accommodations Tuvok is shown using like the tactile interface for the computer console, and I really wish Geordi in TNG had been shown to require similar accommodations.

Extreme Risk: This episode intentionally portrays B’Elanna as having depression, and overall I think it’s a well-written episode that does a good job of prioritizing B’Elanna’s own perspective rather than other characters’ perspectives. I do wish B’Elanna’s depression was something that Voyager focused on outside of this episode, but I can hardly blame the one episode that actually focuses on it for its lack of focus elsewhere. I really like this episode personally.

Latent Image: There are a couple EMH episodes I considered including, but this one feels the most disability adjacent in terms of the Doctor’s “malfunction” in the episode (arguably analogous to disability/neurodivergence) and in terms of the discussion of personal autonomy in relation to that. I think this episode brings up some interesting issues and my opinion of it is positive overall.

Riddles: In which Tuvok has a brain injury that affects him both physically and mentally. I really enjoy this episode personally, but my feelings on it in relation to disability are more complicated. Obviously, Tuvok gets suddenly cured at the end of the episode which negates a lot of potentially interesting things an episode like this could do, but at the same time I’m not going to argue a show like Voyager could have done things any differently. The discussions of dependence and recovery in relation to disability here are interesting. In general, I like how Tuvok has a fair amount of agency in the story and that he primarily isn’t infantilized. I do wish the episode focused a bit more on Tuvok’s perspective over Neelix’s.

Pathfinder: Barclay is pretty clearly neurodivergent, and I like the concept of his character in theory. In practice, I wish that many episodes he’s in didn’t use his social anxiety to excuse him being an asshole, especially when the same courtesy isn’t extended to female characters and characters of color (for example, B’Elanna Torres). This episode wasn’t as bad (or sexist) as some of the TNG episodes he’s in, but still.

Good Sheppherd: Arguably all three main characters in the episode are coded as neurodivergent. The “every person adds value to the team regardless of how weird they are” message of this episode fell a bit flat for me, and the root issues related to disability/neurodivergence aren’t explored to an extent I found satisfying. I’m not going to call it a bad episode, though – it’s okay.

Fury: This one I am going to call a bad episode. Definitely one of my least favorite episodes of Voyager, but technically older Kes is depicted as disabled. I hate everything about this episode, especially the way it depicts disability as affecting Kes.

Repentance: I also dislike this episode. It has similar (but worse) problems to Meld in terms of treating tendency toward violence as innate and denying that neurodivergent people are capable of having any autonomy/control over their actions.

Many Seven/Borg episodes, particularly The Gift, One, Infinite Regress, The Voyager Conspiracy, and Imperfection: I’ve talked extensively about my disability-related thoughts on Seven and the Borg so I’m not going to list these episodes separately.

If anyone else has any thoughts on any of these episodes or suggestions of other episodes that belong on this list that I didn’t include, I’d love to hear about it!

[uncriticalbunny]

me whenever I see people desperate for the writers to make sydney asexual and/or a lesbian.

long post ahead.

as a black woman who is ace, I don’t think sydney being asexual would be revolutionary or interesting. it would actually be so incredibly, hugely, profoundly... boringggggg. and people who insist on sydney being asexual get a massive side eye from me. especially white asexuals, because fuck your representation, and cishet people because who the fuck are y’all? 

so rarely are black women in tv and film treated with respect and nuance, much less when it comes to romance. so rarely are we treated as a person to be desired. to be loved. openly. warmly. carnally. even less so when it’s a darkskin black woman. writers pick from one of two things when it comes to black female characters: hypersexualized vs desexualized. superficially, for all outward appearances, there are lots of asexual black women in media. that is to say, they are certainly almost treated that way. unintentionally. intentionally. maliciously. void of sexuality or sensuality. no romance because she’s a Strong Black Woman who doesn’t need a man. or a relationship so pathetic that it can hardly be called a romance. would it be nice to have an asexual black female character who has a storyline that treats asexuality with respect? yes, yes it would. but that’s not really the point of this increasingly wordy essay. if the creators/writers are to be taken at their word that sydcarmy is strictly platonic, and they had her reject marcus because he misread their interactions, then it just shows they’ve developed nothing for sydney romantically. all the shots of carmy looking at her like she hung the moon and the stars are simply because she's his #bro. marcus really only liked her for her personality and simply confused that for romantic longing. platonic connections and a one-sided pursuit with zero heat. how groundbreaking. 

every fucking white character can have all of the romance-related things though. they can kiss each other, be shown as desirable, etc. etc. nat can be cuddled and cherished by pete. richie can go on dates in a nice suit with dirt caked under his nails, be loving with his then-wife, and ostensibly be wanted by jess. tiffany can still be yearned for by her ex-husband as she prepares to marry a new one. carmy can skip around like he’s in a romcom while neglecting his responsibilities to make out with claire and call her beautiful. claire can be shot in soft, dreamy sequences with closeups of her face and have a convo with her ass out for no reason other than to say she’s desirable and fucked carmy. claire and carmy can have screentime set aside for their relationship and a tender lovemaking scene. it’s expected for white people. it’s the norm. no romantic love for sydney though. because she’s driven. because she deserves better. because romance is unimportant. because she wants that star. because she can have no distractions. because asexual. because representation. [audience cheering]

sydney being a lesbian would also bore me immensely. too often are black female characters treated by writers as russian dolls with every diversity point they can think of. books, comics, tv, film, etc. she’s black, she's lesbian, she's asexual, she’s trans, she’s disabled, she’s poor, she’s this, she’s that. the diversity and representation everyone wants. why is every other character surrounding this ~pinnacle of diversity~ straight, or white, or a man? yes, because that’s who’s mainly writing and casting and greenlighting these things and maybe it’s silly to expect otherwise, but still, what the fuck? congrats on being represented by this fictional character. but it doesn’t feel genuine; it feels spiteful and lazy and self-congratulatory. like where's the other black women and diverse characters lmao. to be clear, I do want to see all the black lesbians in media because there's still not very many. and black women with one, or two, or all of those “diversity points” do exist in real life. we are lesbians, we are bi, we are disabled, we are trans. we're all of those and more. and we are loved and adored. on screen? maybe with a nonexistent or poor romantic storyline. or perhaps a decent and maybe even good storyline that eventually crashes and burns. there's a popular twitter thread right now about the disposable black gf trope and the examples that keep pouring in are bleak af.

the black lesbian character headcanon/canon increasingly feels like just another way to fridge us romantically. #notalllesbiantruthers but too many tbh. a black female character will simply exist without uttering a word and a slew of white women will be there to loudly proclaim her as the lesbian representation they want, need, crave, and adore. especially if there’s zero indication of the character being a lesbian. just stereotypes and vibes. hollow, insincere proclamations. bi black women don't even exist in their world. all these things I’ve observed with sydney. she's a bro, she's butch, she's a top, she's so husband-coded. babygirl is only reserved for the most woeful, pitiful white male characters. it's hilariously #coded. and no one will push back because after all, any gay representation is a good thing.

you’ll see hit tweets about how they know deep down sydney's a lesbian or how it will be so funny when the writers make her one. really, why is that? she can't be bi lest she actually gets with carmy. carmy can't be gay because they want to fuck him too badly. yeah I’m not so convinced all the lesbian sydney truthers earnestly want to see her loved, adored, cuddled, kissed, or fucked by another woman. because would that really be the writers’ objective or finished product? or will they just make her a lesbian and pat themselves on the back for doing only that. a throwaway line? maybe give her a cute romance built largely off-screen? lesbian sydney is a win for diversity and that’s enough. and who really wants to see sydney loved on loudly or be sexual anyway? that's not who she really is! she wears minimal makeup and oversized shirts and sweaters. let’s just focus on her working herself to the bone and getting that star. and I think deep down a lot of these truthers know her storyline possibly wouldn't be done justice. that's why it's going to be so funny to them when they make her one.

it all feels so shallow. fanfiction of sydney x fem!reader or original female character or nayia (the gorgiana black chef from s02ep03) is quite literally nonexistent [!!!]. sorry, y'all are not progressive or galaxy-brained. we get a black female character who’s multifaceted and fascinating, a deuteragonist even, in a show with a fandom that barely considers her as a person, and you’ve set your grubby paws upon her to be shelved romantically. bffr, the writers are already flailing romance-wise when it comes to sydney; they would not do an asexual/lesbian storyline justice. and even if they somehow make a halfway decent attempt, maybe they should have made it clear from the very beginning. not in season 3 or 4 or 5 or wheneverthefuck after they’ve given all the white characters romantic angles and developed her strongest and most important relationship with carmy, the main white guy or possibly because they hate the fact that people ship her with the main white guy. because then it just feels reactionary. and spiteful. and lazy. anyway, this ended up being way longer than I wanted. thanks for reading. fin.

[usagirln12003]

Alador Blight: Hogwarts AU

Alador Blight is a Pureblood wizard that was born on the 14th of September 1956 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1968, being sorted into Ravenclaw House.

He has a Walnut wand with a Phoenix Feather core.

His Patronus is a Rat.

His favorite subjects were Potions and Charms.

His least favorite subjects were Defense Against the Dark Arts and Herbology.

Alador is a clumsy, easily distracted member of the Department of Mysteries. If something catches his attention, it can be quite hard for others to get him to focus on anything else. He doesn't seem to be very talkative, as he only speaks when necessary. When asked questions by others, such as Luz, he is as direct and concise as possible. Alador mostly lets his wife take the lead in situations, helping her with whatever she tells him to do, but he does have a limit. This is shown when Odalia tries to go back on her deal with Amity, and Alador reminds her that their family always honors their deals, indicating he has a sense of integrity and honor.

Alador also seems to object to his wife's willingness to put others in danger for profit. This is shown when an injured Luz claims the magic-powered robot has more than proven its strength to the spectators, and Alador tells his wife that Luz "has a point". Alador cares about Amity, as well as her progress, as indicated by his smile when Amity stands up to Odalia and almost destroys his work. This is also shown when Amity helps him take down Warden Wrath together, making a proud expression.

Although he does love them, Alador does not pay his children much attention, much to their frustration. This deeply strained his relationship with Amity, who seeks to prove her worth to him and to understand him better, especially when she finally reaches the age to compete in Hogwarts' Potion Tournament. Alador, believing that his daughter has a bright future and shouldn't "goof off" as he did at her age, refuses to let her participate and willingly goes along with the notion that she needs to study for her exams instead, under the belief that working for the ministry it is her dream. When he finds out that she disobeyed him, Alador is disappointed and furious with her, even remarking that she could fail if she doesn't focus more on her studies. However, Amity soon teaches him that she needs to make decisions without him and Odalia butting in, which he accepts.

Alador expresses shock when he learns that Amity no longer wants to work for the ministry, in addition to the fact that she is dating Luz, realizing that he hardly pays his children any attention because he is too focused on his work. Feeling regret over how he treated Amity, Alador begins to see her for who she wants to be, admitting that he likes her new hair color and resolving to speak with Odalia about attempting to dye her hair green again. Although Amity doesn't fully forgive him, she appreciates that he's trying to be better, saying that "it's a start".

After getting on a new start with Amity, Alador slowly resolves to pay more attention to his children and defy his wife's control. Tired and overworked by Odalia, he reflects on his marriage, feeling miserable and unaccomplished. Eventually, Odalia's intentions on keeping Amity, Luz, and their friends prisoner while helping Belos exterminate their species for her own personal gain causes Alador to snap, and he finally stands up to Odalia, destroying their mansion and disabling the rest of the robots he created. He also quits his post at the ministry, slowly developing and turning over a new leaf for the greater good. Alador also seems to have grown fond of Luz, inviting her to stay at the new Blight Manor anytime (although an illusion then reveals that Luz is actually Hunter, shocking him).

[nyasialiveshere]

Fav dramas review : Heaven's Coin

Idk how to explain the ways I love old japanese dramas, but it's truly something occasionally and randomly I want to talk about. Hardly anyone has reviewed, recapped or discussed some of my favorite stuff in the media, but... I just feel that if only one person who never heard about it or hasn' t watched it in years can learn about a beautiful piece of work. Isn't that what art is all about. Countless times I've picked up albums that never charted or flew under the radar, but somehow it was either the best thing I'd listened to in years or spoke to me so deeply and directly, I was like I'm so glad nobody ever picked up this thing. I'm so glad it collected dust for years in a bookstore or comic shop cause if not then I'd probably never find it.

Especially in the internet age where due to how for profit everything has become it's no longer easy to find out about things that are no longer for sale or that have been locked in a vault so to speak. Jdrama's was a booming industry. Japan had dominated asian cinema for a long time since the 1950s possibly even before. They are master storytellers and love tucking in messages of morals all throughout the story even if the story is presented in an amoral way.

They make it clear that even though the villain isn't ever going to be truly punished and the hero might suffer more than they ever will. Right and wrong is so obvious even a child could understand it.

p.s this review is very bias

Main characters Takumi, Aya and Shuichi (with his annoying self)

That is where Heaven's Coin come in. Loosely based off of a German fairy tale of a girl who gives away all of her coins to everyone until she is left with nothing but later given the stars in return.

First off this is taking place in the 90s the pinnacle of Dramas putting disabled characters in the forefront of television. To americans this is no big deal because we see in comparasion a lot of diversity in television. But in Japan and Asia due to discrimination it is considered taboo and a lot of time disabled characters were often not shown or ignored.

The main character Aya is amazing and is the strength of the entire show. She is shown as smart, crafty and able to think her way around situations where people underestimate her. She was extremely well written and not made into a stereotype at all. Women in this show surprisingly are not cliche like you would assume coming from a conservative country like Japan. They all have a distinct personality and go toe to toe with the male character. Not like you would see in modern shows where women are kind of masculinized in order to seem tougher than men, nor like when women catch temper tantrums to get what they want. In fact the female characters seem more level headed and it's the male characters that are more irrational and emotional. Usually acting in their own selfish interest leaving the women to pick up the pieces and figure out how to go on. Aya was abandoned as a child and had to learn how to survive through being very perceptive to emotions, facial expressions and reading lips. She doesn't let people get in her way, but has a soft heart and puts other people before her self in pretty much every situation.

I fell in love with the character after realizing she was always sacrificing herself for others even in situations where she didn't know what was going on. I don't wanna say the character was made with a feminist lens in mind, but I do think the use of female characters in the show is multifaceted. The males have more power, but the women have more strength if that makes sense.

Shuichi is nice overall, but to me he taught me that kindness and weakness is the worst combo one can have. To me his inability to make a decision always ended up hurting those who he loved most. He was selfish and with his desire to always be the good guy and seem impartial he caused destruction everywhere he went. He never stuck to anything he said and was always going back and forth trying to have it all. I believe that concerning the love triangle he was only there to keep confusing Aya. What I mean is he only went to the small country village Aya lived to mess with his father, a big city doctor, who wanted his son to take his place. Then later on when back in the city he becomes engaged to a rich heiress breaking Aya's heart.

I understand he lost his memory and everything, but the reality is he should of taken the woman he loved with him. Getting confused and falling in love with someone else is a curveball. But he should of been a man and confessed his plans to his family instead of keeping it all hidden. That right there shows that he was ashamed. Aya sadly due to believing she would never find anyone who loved her passionately fell for Shuichi because she believed he was the first and only person who would ever love and care for her, so she should take what she can get. Even after everything was settled Shuichi still couldn't be a man and do what he needed to do for Aya. But in the end Aya was abandoned as a child so she was used to being ignored and avoided. So Shuichi's lame I'll love you from afar style worked for her because it was what she was used to. Anyway personally he gets on my nerves a bit and should have left Aya alone after he got his memory back.

Last but not least, Takumi. Portrayed as the loyal son to Shuichi's prodigal son......or vice versa. He is the one who stayed in the family and did as his parents desired. He is all the more screwed up for it to. Not only is he a playboy with mother wounds, he also has dad issues. He's shown as a screwed up hopeless individual. He's emotionally volatile and takes his anger out on anyone in his way. He is also shown as the one who tries to get in the way of Aya and Shuichi's true love. He falls in instalove with Aya and immediately becomes semi obsessed with her and stops his playboy antics and even becomes more mature and sensitive for her. Believing she is an innocent woman and can redeem him. He obviously thinks she will never have any opportunities with other men, so she is stuck with him so to speak. It seems he likes that idea very much. But when he finds out his brother is her true object of affection he snaps and turns violent on both Aya and his brother. Now saying all that it might seem like the show would end there and he'd be gotten rid of like any villain but no. Despite his outburst and violence he is almost shown to be the true hero of the show. Falling deeper and deeper in love with Aya the more he becomes aware of her affection for his brother. It may be related to his insecurity about his father loving his brother more than he loved him and wanting to beat his brother. Or remembering that he never got the sweet affection from his mother as a child and wants it from Aya. It's hard to say

The show is emotionally complex and even though I hate medical drama's typically; I couldn't help but love this show. It was interesting, emotional and had a very human vibe to it.

Aya and Takumi were the most interesting because usually it's the woman in a movie or show that wants to change herself for a guy but here it's reversed. It's Takumi who behaves more like a girl with a crush concerning Aya and works hard to both communicate with her but also win her love. It's problematic, but I can see where the writers were coming from. It's supposed to be off putting and conflicting. Shuichi was quiet and reserved and Takumi was brash and loud, but in the end Shuichi ended up hurting more people with his inaction than Takumi did with his hands.

It's from an era where writers took a bit more chances with daring storytelling...7/10 it's a short show but it's so interesting and has rewatch potential. The actors played the heck out of the characters to the point where it really felt natural.

Also yes it is on available in different places on the int. There is a third season that I have never found, it looks very tropical lmao but I doubt it takes place on the beach they just did it to look cool I think. No idea where this one is but can they please film more drama's like this it looks so Blue Lagoon (I watched it on tv when I was 15 in 2015ish idk on cable and the film style is like better than they do today there's a lifetime remake but its not very good) but anyway it looks great but impossible to find.

[tgarnsl]

WIP Whatever-day-of-the-week-it-is

I’m blaming @cedarboots‘ gorgeous illustration for kicking my brain into gear over the sequel to my Flowers of Edinburgh story and making me write 1400 words this afternoon.

—

Day by day, hour by hour, the first ten days of October passed by in Edinburgh with a kind of heavy silence. Life in the city went on, as it always had, but at times it seemed as if the city held its breath, waiting for this uneasy armistice to draw to a conclusion, the days passing with excruciating slowness. Yet nowhere did time pass more slowly than up in Edinburgh Castle, where General Joshua Guest and his officers watched as repeated attempts to bring an end to the Jacobite occupation of the city ended in embarrassment, and for one officer in particular, served each time as a painful reminder of his own personal disappointment.

Almost a week had passed for Captain Keith Windham of the Royal Scots since his encounter with Ewen Cameron, the days passing slowly, for he had little to do but pace the battlements and think on his failed attempt to capture the Prince. The troops who had deserted him had been punished accordingly, and Keith had himself received praise from General Guest for his brave attempt, but it did little to ease his mind. His own private humiliation over what had passed between him and Ardroy that night in the Grassmarket was no less than what he had felt the subsequent morning, when the bright light of morning had revealed to him in the mirror the dark bruises that bloomed overnight on his neck and shoulders. To have allowed himself to be so debased by another was mortifying, for he knew he must have been mad to allow Ardroy to unman him in such a way. At times, his recollections of the events that took place in Lady Easterhall’s house were coloured by anger, at other times, by shame.

That he had injured Ardroy in such a way that might prevent him from ever taking up arms again should have satisfied him, if not as a loyal soldier of the King, than at least for Ardroy’s sake, for he could imagine nothing less than permanent disability forcing Ardroy to return home to the safety of his lands. But the thought of that was not a comfort, and the notion that Keith had caused his enemy injury left him with an emotion that was far from satisfaction. Had it been in a fair fight, he might have countenanced it better, but it had not been. He had lost control of his emotions for the second time that night, and in doing so had nearly killed a man who, though hardly innocent, was not deserving of death. The thought of Ewen lying dead or dying on the floor was enough to make Keith shudder, and not merely because of what the Camerons would have done to him on entering that room.

The frustration of not capturing the Prince was only compounded with the knowledge that he had let Ardroy play with him, distracting him while the secret door lay before his very eyes. It was curious how Keith had not recognised Ardroy in his finery at first — how extraordinarily handsome he had looked, in his satin and powder. Had his attraction to the Highlander truly been so transparent as to be an obvious weakness for Ardroy to exploit? Yet Ewen was not the first young man to catch Keith’s eye, nor was Keith inexperienced when it came to the things that men might do together. No, what unsettled Keith was the thought that after four years of deliberate abstinence, all that it had taken to bring that to an end was a single kiss. Worse still was the tenderness and gallantry shown to Keith afterwards, when Ardroy had allowed him to make his escape, and the gifts he had made of a cloak and a kiss. The former he would never discover the truth of, but the latter gift was an especial torment, particularly in the small hours of the night, when the memory of Ewen’s body against his would return to him, and to his shame he would find himself longing for even more intimate embraces than the ones they had shared.

The most cursed part of it all was that Ardroy had, through his actions, attained a kind of superiority that Keith found galling. Worst of all was the utter sincerity with which he had behaved, as if his affection towards Keith was real, and his concern for Keith’s escape born from genuine feeling. It unsettled Keith that there should exist a debt between them, though a debt for what, he could not say. Yet what he found the most galling was the amount of time he spent on the Castle’s battlements, thinking on the curious young man with whom he had formed such a strange connexion… Fool that he was, he was at it again. He turned from the city, grateful for a distraction, for he had become aware of the unmistakeable sound of a wheeled chair over flagstone, which could only signal the approach of the spirited but aged General George Preston, who though old and infirm, made himself to be wheeled around the battlements every few hours to supervise and encourage. The aged but spirited General Preston greeted Captain Windham with warmth, for he was fond of the vigilant and zealous young officer.

“Captain Windham, a word in your ear!” he said, sending his servant out of earshot, and Keith dutifully stooped to the level of his general. “I mean to test yer mettle with an errand, if ye be willing.”

A flying raid, perhaps — a chance to regain his honour. Keith swallowed hard. “What is it, sir?” he asked.

“The ongoings of Edinburgh town we ken well enough, sir, but we canna peek beyond the walls of Holyroodhouse. I shall speak plain: yon Cameron with whom ye met in the Grassmarket has the ear of his Prince. If ye be willing, I’d have ye write a letter to him, requesting a meeting on neutral ground where ye might discover what he kens.”

Keith stiffened. “I am no spy, sir, and Ardroy is a man of honour,” he said, and General Preston laughed.

“Heavens, sir, I am nae asking ye to spy!” he said. “Yon Ardroy is as principled a man as yerself, so I am given to understand, so I canna imagine he will let on easily, but if he drops even the slightest hint as to the ongoings of the Prince or his generals…”

Keith considered it for a long moment. Like as not, Ardroy would pass along whatever letter he received to his superiors, and they would no doubt agree to the meeting for the same reason that General Preston wished to arrange it in the first place. It was risky, of course, but if some gain could be made, it would surely be worth it. Besides, he could not ignore the part of him that wished to see Ardroy again, of only to comfort himself in the knowledge that his actions that night had not caused his enemy grievous injury.

“I will do it, sir,” said Keith, and General Preston smiled and announced his intention to report in full the diligence and bravery that Captain Windham had displayed in defence of the Castle, once the task at hand had been completed.

Half an hour later, sat in his room before his desk, Keith dipped his quill and began:

“Dear Mr Cameron,— “I write to you today not out of Obligation, but out of my personal Desire to set to right the Wrongs commmitt’d by my Hand against your Person on the Seventh of this month. There is much I have to be Forgiven for, and though I can offer little Restitution that would be Acceptable, I hope that in Person I might offer an Apology more Satisfactory than one made in ink. If you are Willing, and I Pray that you are, meet me at Five in the afternoon, in two Days’ time, at the Boarding-house of Mrs Sutherland of the back of Bell’s Wynd. I trust that you will take me to be a man of Honour, and Remember that I am, “Your most obedient, humble servant, “Keith Windham, Captain.”

Thus signed, he sprinkled it with pounce, and once satisfied the ink had dried, folded it and sealed it with his signet ring, a mark he knew Ewen would recognise. And with that done, he delivered the message into the hands of the boy waiting outside his room, and returned to his duties, pushing from his mind all thoughts of what the future might bring.

[shiro-hatzuki]

[MILGRAM Mikoto first trial voice drama spoilers]

in the fancult discord server, a v cool person with the tag Story#6785 (goes by alice according to their intro, which is what i will refer to them by) pointed out that there's a possible explanation for how mikoto was able to beat up es in his vd, and because of that, i really want to rant about milgram (when do i not want to rant about milgram?) so ramblings are under the cut!

now one explanation for mikoto being able to beat up es is probably one that most people would believe if they follow the train of thought of kotoko, and it's that while mikoto may be a prisoner, if he has DID, his alter(s) may not be considered a prisoner(s). however, i'm personally not a fan of the DID theory for mikoto because 1) it is ableist and it personally feels icky to me to have another ip with a murderer with DID, and 2) it was mentioned explicitly by kotoko. i do realize that japan (especially in media) is not known for being great at dealing with mental health and conditions like DID, and i also realize that kotoko pointing it out may just be the milgram team trying to guide the audience's thinking. "this is not like the prisoners before," they might be saying, "your line of thinking when considering how to vote for mikoto allows for a different moral quandary than the past prisoners." there have been past vds that might clarify these things for the audience, such as mahiru's love having killed someone but not out of greed or jealousy (allegedly from her vd). however, i still hesitate on the DID theory. kotoko is canonically very smart and well read, but did she study psychology enough to make a proper assessment? and even if she did take some classes and read some books, she'd still only be in her second or third year of undergrad university assuming she didn't skip any grades. not exactly an expert opinion. furthermore, this was a theory that people had since mikoto was introduced as not having any memories of his crime, and though it’s possible that the theorists simply soul-read mikoto, i also think it’s a bit suspicious that the milgram team would go out of their way to confirm such theories through kotoko.

then alice gave a theory they discussed with several other people in a different server that it's possible that es's words in the vd had actually revoked the prisoner status from mikoto, and this in turn disabled the protection es had from the prisoners hurting them. this was a very interesting theory to hear, and i think it holds some water. it has been stated on multiple occasions that es's word is the law in milgram. this had usually been in reference to voting if a murder can be forgiven or not, but they could also dictate other things such as how to separate the showers, when prisoners can enter and leave the hallway leading to the panopticon, or other things regarding their lives in milgram (as taken from the milgrammer translation of es’s vd). could es's words temporarily allow a prisoner to not have their "prisoner" status? of course, we don’t know if this theory is fact, but for those who have theories about mikoto without DID, this might help explain the happenings in the vd.

but i’m still not done with the thought of “es’s words are the law of milgram” because i started wondering and asking questions. es is shown to be very blunt and straightforward, and though they are tricky with their words, they hardly lie directly to the prisoners (though there was the prank yuno helped them play on fuuta lolll). furthermore, they don’t ask many questions unless they believe it will help with their work, not even questioning why they’re following the guidance of a mythical rabbit or even being curious about their own past. they are very serious about only doing their job in a straightforward manner, meaning that they likely don’t even know the extent of which the rules can work in milgram. so what if es does tell a lie as their position as the prison guard? will that lie be the truth in milgram until they state otherwise? if they give a rule, even if it was as a joke or insincere, will it still be the law of the land until they change it? the prisoners have a habit of making es stray from their job in their vds, so i hope that the mechanics of the prison can be explored even more in later vds thanks to their shenanigans. 

[askmicrowavegaster]

Microwave grapes ending summary

Gaster does jump down the elevator shaft, and uses his magic to craft bones as steps to slow his descent, and finally rip through the elevator at a basement level, far below where the elevator usually goes. Beneath Fig’s arboreum and everything. 

And he does find sans, but more importantly-- 

He finds Ursama and Serptrine’s assistants looking over another skeleton, a little bit taller than Sans, and hidden away in a separate room. He doesn’t have Sans’ odd bone deformity from the DT overdose, but almost looks the same age all the same. 

Ursama demands to know what is going on that Gaster burst down like this, clearly destroying the elevator and definitely committing a crime in doing so if nothing else, on top of his kidnapping charges. 

Gaster is going to uh. Take those kidnapping charges again. He walls up the room with bones and grabs Sans to run--and Sans talks to the other little skeleton, who todders over, and holds on, too. 

Unfortunately, Gaster has only really one place to go, and that is back to his apartment. Which he does. And then barricades the door. And then shouts across the wall to Po-Yo that he needs someone to deliver a letter for him. Po-Yo gets a carrier (from chapter 6, Ava) and Gaster slides the message he needs delivered and the handful of gold pieces under the door. 

The letter is addressed to Asgore. 

Gaster never thought he would want to call the attention of an old monster down on himself, but right now, he’s the only one higher ranked than Serptrine that Gaster can think of who might object to the discovery of creating child monsters for warfare. 

In the meantime, Gaster barricades his wall and sets the kids up in the back room of his house and tells Sans to tell-- the boy’s designation is ‘PS-1’ (Prototype Skeleton 1) rather than ‘CS-1’ (Control Skeleton 1)-- to hide if anyone other than he comes in. 

But PS-1 seems to understand his speech just fine. And he doesn’t know what to make of that, except that someone has been teaching PS-1 the same way he taught CS-1. 

He makes them tea, and ignores anyone pounding on his door, and hopes no one pulls out magic or the royal guard. But the pounding on the door stops, and he isn’t sure how much time passes, but there’s not quite enough food in his apartment for three people. There was hardly enough for one. 

He doesn’t want to leave his apartment and come back to find both skeletons gone. 

He tries to pass the time by talking to them and figuring out what was going on. And this is what he learns: 

PS-1 has been outside of the building before. PS-1 knows how to summon his magic. PS-1 has a rotating series of caretakers. PS-1 has seen Sans before. 

PS-1 has a LV of 7. 

Gaster dreams about murder. 

Eventually through a lot of hand gestures and struggling conversation, he starts making a plausible scenario: 

Sans has been taken from his room at night periodically. This is probably where PS-1 met him and they had a ‘comparison’ between the control subject (Sans, who is not being pushed to learn much or learn an agenda) and variable subject (PS-1, who is being trained very specifically towards a goal.) The mistakes and ‘mistakes’ Gaster makes with Sans are corrected with PS-1 and it’s led to a very strong, dangerous, and unhappy toddler in his apartment, and that toddler is getting very hungry. 

The good news is that PS-1 seems to like Sans and will calm down when comforted. The bad news is that while Papyrus (Sans named him) doesn’t seem interested in ‘rebelling’ by attacking his new ‘handler,’ that doesn’t extend to furious pouting tantrums, fits, and crying. 

At some point, Papyrus summons the biggest attack he has— a strange, toothy skull sort of thing. It might’ve been dog-ish if not for the horns. 

Gaster recognizes someone trying to copy his dragon skull design and has to retreat for… a while. It’s sort of like setting off a firework show at a wake, maybe a ‘celebrating of life’ if you were being optimistic, and then turning around and finding your fireworks being pointed at people.

After a long while of hiding where Gaster can start to feel exhaustion weighing on him and is certain the low-magic meals are really starting to affect the kids, too, there’s a knock on the door and a familiar voice coming through.

Choris is a cat monster with a messed up ear and bad personality, but he grew up under Gaster’s parents and they went through college together. It is not an affectionate relationship by a stretch, but jealousy doesn’t mean you want them to fail, and so they’ve kicked each others’ asses through things a handful of times.

Today, Choris has shown up to say things like ‘I bet you haven’t been outside this whole time’ and ‘do you even have food in there? I bet you don’t. You haven’t even checked your mail. Get your shit together.’

Then the mail is shoved under Gaster’s doorway and the thump of several bags of groceries is heard outside the door. Once the footsteps are gone, Gaster reaches out to grab the food and hurriedly makes the kids a meal before checking the mail. 

One of them is a response from the king, alerting him to an investigation and for his testimony to show up at x day. Which is almost immediately. Tomorrow, or in nine hours, even. People probably would’ve shown up to his house and broken in if he didn’t show up, holy shit, he would’ve died (but only emotionally, not literally.) 

The idea of showing up in front of a Fucking Boss Monster is absolutely psyching his little traumatized brain out, but he has already kidnapped like two people barricaded himself in an apartment building for several days, so he doesn’t really have any room to say he’s paralyzed by nerves.

Still paranoid that someone is going to come swipe them when he’s not looking, Gaster gets Sans’ crutches and tells him he’s in charge of Keeping Papyrus Chill, and takes them with him (in a backpack for transport) to the castle for a Fucking Hearing. 

(Once they’re there, they get out of the backpack, but he is extremely not interested in people spotting them on the street and asking questions, because he has absolutely no doubt that someone has gossiped this all the way back to Snowdin by now. )

Serptrine and, unfortunately, Ursama are there as the ‘hey we need to break the barrier’ team, and Gaster shows up with two skeletons half his height wearing stripes, holding onto both his leg and each other. 

It’s pretty obvious who Asgore sides with. Everyone knows the moment he looks over at the kids. 

That doesn’t mean everyone is happy. Serptrine is removed from his post as head scientist, the position is suspended, and Ursama is on leave for a bit, or at the very least is no longer Gaster’s direct superior. They also forget to really give him a new superior. Or if someone is assigned, they aren’t claiming him, and when he’s told to return to the lab for regular work, he finds no one is really looking at him or minding him much at all. People he casually spoke to seem to acknowledge him a bit, but that’s about all. 

Whether they thought he was in the right to kidnap Sans and Papyrus or not, a lot of people also now view him as The Guy Who Stole Our Best Chance at the Surface. 

Yes, humans are falling down, but it’s… taking a long time. And then people are in danger and killed each time. And they’re still relying on the strength of humans when they use that captured power. And what about when they get to the surface, and then there are still humans out there to deal with? 

If they’d just Had Someone Who Could Handle the Barrier and the Humans Beyond It…

Haven’t you ever heard of the needs of the many? If five children die to save a city, how is that the wrong choice?

It’s easy to dream big about a project that barely got off the ground, but seemed to have some promise—especially if one of the experiments was successful and managed to end the last human’s rampage. 

...but Gaster has a child at home who has just learned about jigsaw puzzles, and who takes the newspaper from him to do the word searches and junior jumbles in pen. 

Then again, Gaster has an advantage in being kind, here. He’s never believed they would make it to the surface again, anyway.

++ 

As Gaster raises the two and deals with ostracization at work (which started out as just spite, but then was picked up as a hint by others, and has grown into a Habit) he uses the lack of oversight to start building small CORE experiments. 

He’s doing his best with the CORE but still works a lot on it at home, which Sans watches him do when he’s not watching over Papyrus. 

Because that is unfortunately quickly becoming Sans’ job. He’s still pretty young and needs crutches to stay upright for long stretches of time, but Papyrus has proven to be A Little Troubled, especially since he started talking more. 

He’s fond of fighting, which is normal for a monster child, but he’s actually fighting with intent to harm, because that’s what fighting has been for him this whole time, and at LV 7 it’s very difficult to break that sort of habit. You can think of LV as a disability almost— it makes it more difficult to move through life, as you’re on constant “when all you have is a hammer” mode. They had a fun incident where upon getting very frustrated with a puzzle, Papyrus summoned bones from the floor and one of them happened to have Moderate Contact with Sans’ knee. 

Sans ultimately has a monster version of hemophilia—a small cut can still cause him to bleed out. This eventually affects his magic to create KARMA, where his max ATK being small still bleeds out a little bit longer than would otherwise be expected. 

It is still a very frantic and uncomfortable trip to a healer, where Papyrus ends up left alone in the house because Gaster didn’t know what to do when you had two kids, and one needed the healer, and the other had caused the wound. 

Papyrus has been extremely careful about injuring Sans since then, and they’ve gotten him to somewhat release his pent up energy by doing ‘trick shots’ with his magic. Spelling things with his bones, biggest and smallest bones you can possibly make, haha hey kids what about bones that go backwards? 

Whatever was in that DT was fucking potent, because Gaster was a pretty good kid with magic for his age, but Sans and Papyrus outstrip him fast enough that at some point theyre just swapping tricks with each other and doing things Gaster is pretty sure aren’t physically possible but. Whatever. Fuck it. 

He’s going to do physically impossible shit too if he ever gets this geothermal shit up and running. 

...it is definitely not all fun and games. Most of the time, it is the opposite. When Papyrus grows old enough to start to care more, he starts thinking a lot about morality, and LV, and finds that he can’t even remember where all of it came from, and he doesn’t know if he should want to or not. But he still likes using magic. Even though he’s careful now, he still thinks fighting is fun when he goes out and duels kids in the backlots (the monster equivalent of kittens fighting each other) . 

He and Gaster eventually work out that maybe it’s okay to be happy, even when you’ve done something bad in the past. Puzzles are very popular now, even though they’re historically military traps. Magic is even more innate and expressive than a hobby, though, and over the years Papyrus can hone it to be something different. Maybe knives aren’t only used for murder. Maybe you can fight to defend, too. 

Papyrus decides he’s going to be talented enough he never loses control of his magic ever , and can avoid even the most accidental, normal mistakes. 

(Sans, who curls up on the couch and watches Gaster do physics on the coffee table at night, also starts talking about those sorts of things. Some childhood conversations cropping up that Gaster doesn’t know if they’re normal or if it’s because of where Sans and Papyrus come from-- or if they’re the only ones talking about this at all, even, because these talks feel like the only conversations that have mattered in his whole life sometimes. His parents were kind, and supporting, and loving, but no one has ever said ‘I’m sad’ and then followed up with it—with something other than a quip, or a joke.  But he and Sans and Papyrus keep talking instead.

The people in the underground don’t like talking about the unfixable. Maybe it’s because of the puzzles, he thinks. Maybe the underground has decided that no one would ever make a problem there wasn’t some way to solve.

He doesn’t think there are ways to solve some of them. He doesn’t think there’s a way to break the barrier that will let them survive outside. He doesn’t think there’s an answer he can give Papyrus about how he can feel the LV in him surging with excitement when he fights. He doesn’t think there’s a way he can tell Sans that no one person can fix everything.

“But I guess I have to try,” he says, like a joke and a quip, and exhausted. 

“you just said you couldn’t,” says Sans, who has grown out of his crutches and gained a few centimeters height.

“Yes. But if you’re in a position to do something , aren’t you obligated to try?” Gaster replies, trying his best to stay in this conversation for Sans, who is so distressed lately, and yet he is already so very tired.  “If you’ve got the ability, aren’t you obligated to try?”)

++

(Gaster dreams about finding Serptrine, wherever he is in retirement, and murder. He also thinks about Papyrus, and how frustrated he is at his LV, and his childhood stolen away by other people’s choices, and the cessation of possibility. He thinks about Papyrus who has changed, and so has decided everyone can change if they want to, even if Gaster argues that Papyrus didn’t choose to be a killer— Gaster never chose to be an angry, lonely child. But maybe he did. Maybe he decided going with his emotions was easiest, and maybe he had to grow enough to find the will to reach for something that wasn’t his first impulse. The first impulse to violence. 

He doesn’t know. He was just a kid. But he dreams of killing Serptrine, and when he wakes, he does not follow his dreams. For a crime committed only in imagination, maybe that’s the best he can do.)

++

Gaster talks a lot about Snowdin, when he’s feeling good. He wants to go back some day, because it was such a strange little town, and so much room, and so much more welcoming than he remembers being anywhere before. They never go back to Snowdin. 

His work on the CORE gets him promoted to head scientist after several years of the position vacant and in limbo. A lot of the anger has had time to die down, though there are a few brief surges after he takes the position and starts focusing the whole of the lab towards electrical production. 

Sans and Papyrus have started schooling. Sans tests well and is good at theory, and is rocketing towards college, while Papyrus gets stuck in the minutiae, and seems to be enjoying himself plenty well refusing to move up until he has gotten a perfect score on every assignment each level can throw at him. Fudging to give him a perfect score does not work, as he only trusts his own grade evaluations, and his criteria are mysterious and vague. 

Sans—in a very aggressive move on his part—starts to work at the lab. 

Many people have gone and been replaced since he was a child here. He wanders through halls he barely remembers. He rediscovers Fig and Jam (still very young— fish mature differently, though Jam has sprouted some legs and walks on their own sometimes) and helps some in the medical wing before Gaster Very Firmly transfers him into field work and sets him about laying the wires through the underground that will eventually carry their charge. It is an absolutely mind boggling undertaking, especially with something not actually functioning yet, but Sans finds he’s actually a pretty social guy, and laying groundwork gives him a lot of time to goof off some and talk with the locals. 

Fig and Jam transfer to the CORE building site. The tubing twists and turns like roots an the central walkway is laid out like a maze. It was almost inevitable, with how more areas grew upon each other as needed, more power rods and catwalks anywhere they could go. 

In what seems like a very short time, the CORE starts to tower at the deepest edge of Hotland. It reaches so deep they need elevators to reach the lower floors by the end, and yet they still have to build on the outside around those same elevators. Eventually the moving floors are installed, just to try and keep everything stable.

DT extracted from the atmosphere over the years starts to be moved to the CORE site, because as volatile as DT can be, it’s also one of the few substances that can temper materials steeped in magma, without allowing the metal to melt. 

The channel from Snowdin is dug. Wires are laid. Small central generators are set up, to distribute the energy from within the communities— 

And Sans gets a feeling one day. Not a bad feeling or an omen. A whim, probably, and goes to visit the CORE, knowing they’re near the end of construction and Gaster is going on three days of nauseas energy and Red Buffalo, and soon he is going to explode. 

Sans finds no one on the upper floors, and no one on the walkways. Someone’s been posting motivational posters on the wall, things that started to sound a little like sentimentality and anxiety and a wild hope holding all the mess together. 

When Sans descended to the lowest levels of the CORE, on the floors just above the magma, something was wrong. Different. 

It was cold, for one. Or chilly, at least. The heat from the magma was always rising, but this wind had a bite of cold to it— and as Sans opened the first door to the observation deck, there was light that shouldn’t have been there. The whole platform down here was lit by magma glow, and yet, this light was shining instead.

For a moment, he thought, perhaps, it was electricity. A lightbulb. The first one to turn on, maybe. 

And then he opened the door wider, and he saw oblivion. 

It looked like a hole. A white hole, hovering just above Gaster’s head, in the dead center of the room. 

He could see other things around that said there should be others in the room— Fig and Jam’s water cooler. Head Guy’s binder of notes. A plate of lightly smoking bagels, partly eaten. 

And Gaster, just staring into oblivion as it grew slowly bigger, like a dark drain letting all the world around it just spill in.

And Sans, who was small and lightweight, and who hadn’t had a thought to brace— stumbled forward, and was caught in the current. 

It did feel like water. Like the world rolled up around him, and all the air sucked away, and plunged him into a bright, white ocean. 

...and like a fish, something hooked him. Caught him right in the soul. 

It flung him out, bright purple, and into the elevator a room away, where he didn’t crumble, but blacked out just long enough to miss how The End, losing one mass, took another in his place. 

(And for the first time in his life,

Gaster 

Saw 

Stars .)

[alines7777]

right now i'd like to talk about kankri from homestuck

people talk about him like he's the absolute worst piece of shit who ever lived, and that his intentions must be less than admirable, especially karkat, and people take karkat's word for it because we like karkat — but here's the thing, that wouldn't be the first time that katkat's been wrong about someone he hardly knew.

( image artist : @n0pies )

but first, i'd like to provide a little context from the text of homestuck about the planet alternia/beforus

alternia and beforus and their rulers

starting with alternia, troll society engages in a practice known as "culling", in which disabled and 'mutant-blooded' trolls are slated for extermination, as per the condesce's will for trolls to become stronger through violent division, as was meenah's intent in trying sew division among her fellow players in sgrub by starting trouble.

but culling means death, so naturally, every troll on alternia dreads the thought of being culled, so feferi, the heiress to the throne, has an idea, "why don't we simply change what it means to be culled?", she even tries to get practice in her new form of culling by rounding up wild cuttlefish to live under her custody in her abode, yet when the text brings that up, it even says that they don't need to be in her care, but she takes them in anyway, which shows her disregard for the independence and autonomy of other beings. that was a roleplay scenario — her rulership over beforus was this idea put into action.

on beforus, troll society engages in a practice known as "culling", in which disabled and 'mutant-blooded' trolls are slated to be placed in the custody of trolls of higher blood and be coddled, as per the empress's will for trolls to live in comfort through disparaging unity. text on feferi and recounting on the part of aranea basically confirm it, beforus is quite plainly coddle country.

but culling means indefinite tutelage, so naturally, every troll on beforus dreads the thought of being culled.

the intentions of both meenah and feferi for trolls to be strong and well off respectively are all well and good, but the methods of both are all wrong.

the knight of blood

fortunately, there is a lot of canonical text providing exhaustive documentation and insight into karkat's background.

we know that his predecessor, the signless, encountered a troll of higher blood who took pity on him upon his emergence from the brooding caverns, where if that hadn't happened he would have been alternian-culled. we know that he advocated the abolition of culling and the bloodcaste system. we know that his followers took it upon themselves to create a sign and breed a lusus for his successor, in order to prevent his successor's alternian-culling, and we know that karkat was highly secretive about the color of his blood to avoid being alternian-culled, and also to avoid being pitied. we know that this was all tailored specifically so karkat might live to enter his session.

we also know that the signless and kankri are virtually one and the same.

the seer of blood

unfortunately, there is virtually no canonical text regarding kankri's background. if it existed, surely many would be as sympathetic toward him as they are toward karkat, even in spite of karkat's conduct. but thanks to canonical text into the signless and karkat, and the method of cross-reference, we can make a highly educated guess.

starting with karkat's beforan counterpart, we might say that he, like karkat, was secretive about the color of his blood so as to avoid being beforan-culled, which is virtually one and the same as being pitied, assuming he wasn't beforan-culled or maybe he found the friendship of someone who didn't and wouldn't particularly hate or pity him. (perhaps the beforan counterpart to sollux or vriska? who knows?)

either way, nobody is killed on account of beforan-culling, "besides, we're only taking care of him because we already know he can't take care of himself, so what's the harm?", nobody would feel any compelling need to create a sign or breed any lusus for a mutant-blooded successor, after all the intent would be to coddle him, to treat him as an invalid or perhaps even as a pet, so he would live to enter his session regardless.

now onto kankri himself, knowing the story of the signless, it would probably be fair to estimate that he would meet a higher-blooded troll who would pity him for having no corresponding sign or lusus, thus he might have been slated for beforan-culling.

i'm not saying with certainty that kankri was beforan-culled, what i'm saying is that it would make sense. i mean, we might also in some sense regard the death of the signless as alternian-culling.

what also makes it make sense is how kankri reacts to the way he is regarded by porrim. when she reaches to wipe his face, he becomes upset, when she calls him "kanny", he becomes upset, and voices that he'd rather be called "the insufferable" than be addressed as a "wiggler".

i mean, he's probably taking porrim's pale feelings toward him the wrong way, and there are probably better ways for porrim to express them, but it's almost as if kankri knows that he doesn't need her pity and doesn't want her pity, and to be clear, the operant emotion behind moirallegiance is pity. and he probably also takes her regard toward him as an attempt on her part to coddle him, which he clearly doesn't like, he is perhaps no stranger to being coddled, or he at least understands the concept and why it should strike him as offensive, and yes, dreadful.

kankri wants to be regarded as independent and autonomous, and he at least makes it convincing that he wants the same for others, so, like his alternian counterpart, kankri advocates for the abolition of culling and the bloodcaste system.

so if we want to regard the intentions of the signless as genuine and noble, then we ought to insist on kankri being treated with the same amount of good faith. they're the same person, with the exact same set of fundamental principles and ultimate goals, the only difference is the circumstances behind their reasoning.

yea, kankri was a total hypocritical dick in the way he spoke to mituna, in belittling mituna's legitimate need for headgear in retaining his autonomy, yet as kankri might rightfully fear, headgear could be construed by beforan bluebloods as a reason that's as good as any other to engage in beforan-culling, because, "he's so helpless, if he weren't then why is he wearing a helmet?", and then they might decide that all trolls who wear helmets for whatever reason might be slated for culling. but yea, that doesn't excuse kankri's conduct, besides, they're all dead anyway, so nobody is going to get culled, get a grip, kankri.

but karkat routinely antagonizes his friends, even while bearing remorse over having previously antagonized his friends, so he knows it's wrong and yet he still does that, and then he dodges culpability by compartmentalizing his actions as being the actions of his "past self" and not actually as his own actions, or did we somehow manage to forget that?

and then karkat talks a mountain of shit about kankri behind his back as kankri happily abides a seemingly pointless and arbitrary request from a friend whom he doesn't regard as disciplined or interested in his beliefs, a request that was intended as a ploy to trick him.

yea, in some ways, kankri is worse than karkat, but in some other ways, i also think he's far better as a person.

seriously, if we think kankri is the negative stereotype of 'sjw' tumblr, well, then i frankly think that his portrayal might in some sense be doing us too much honor.

yet for some reason, we are duped into hating his doctrines praising autonomy and condemning mollycoddling tutelage and genocide, doctrines that we all should cherish in principle, but we throw him out because he is shown as not very well-liked, even though we aren't very well-liked either. so whatever.

"but he talks too much"

that's already known to be a very typical tendency for seers and blood players, so why shouldn't it be doubly so for a seer of blood?

seriously, don't act surprised.

o, one other thing

with this shit of alternian-culling being about killing and beforan-culling being about mollycoddling, i guess we could say the two troll planets correspond to the troll emotions of hate and pity respectively.

so if karkat was inauspiciously encouraged by alternian culture to hate himself, then it seems fairly likely that kankri was encouraged by beforan culture to pity himself, especially if he were culled.

on alternia, if it's, "you were born with mutant blood, and everyone hates you, so why haven't you died yet, you sorry waste of space?", then on beforus (let me reiterate that it doesn't seem very likely to me that kankri had a lusus or a sign to his name, and if that's the case, it would merely have been difficult for him to go on without being discovered and beforan-culled, instead of impossible), it might've been, "you were born with mutant blood, and you don't have a sign or a lusus. how would you even be able to take care of yourself? if you could then why doesn't anyone believe it? it's so sad that everyone else thinks you need someone else to care for you, it's sad, you poor little thing."

if alternia instills hate, then we can be sure that beforus instills pity. if alternia taught karkat to self-hate, then why wouldn't beforus teach kankri to self-pity? (even assuming he wasn't culled, the threat of losing his autonomy and independence by being extensively mollycoddled constantly loomed over his shoulder.)

we all know that karkat made himself out as an asshole because he desperately wanted to find someone more deserving of his own hate than himself, so i think kankri makes himself out as an asshole the way he does because he hopes to find someone, really anyone, who would be more deserving of his own pity than himself.

so yea, i don't think it's fair on any account to talk shit about kankri, that is unless we also want to talk excessive levels of shit about karkat, which i don't

[chucklestheechidona]

Doctor Who: The Jodie Review

(Long post)

(Sorry)

Introduction

I decided, still being locked down, to watch some Doctor Who.

Hadn’t watched it in a while, told myself I’d always catch up when I had the time, and the universe decided to give me a lot of it.

I had stopped watching Matt quite some time ago, but caught up about 4 years ago to Capaldi’s first season. I had meant to carry on with it but slow-going times and I forgot and all the other jazz that fills in the space between not doing things.

But I thought I’d storm through them and get them over with. I had heard bad things going onwards, but hey, I’m one of those sad losers that LIKE Love and Monsters. It’s not great but I thought what it did well, it did great.

So, off I went to finally catch up on a show that formulated so much of my younger self, my love for time-travel, interesting sci-fi that ended up getting me into the genre, and a love for character interactions and lore.

I went through Capaldi, and his last two seasons, yeah, they had an odd episode here and there, Sleep No More is a disaster, but I carried on through. I’m a trooper, I got through Fear Her after all.

But I fell in love with the Doctor again. Heaven Sent is easily the best DW has offered so far, the character building with him and Clara and Bill and hell, Nardole, are superb. The stories were interesting, the Doctor was great and evolved, and the companions were the perfect fit for Capaldi.

And then, after a brilliant goodbye, he was gone.

“Be kind.“

And here we go, we’re with Jodie, she’s northern, she’s confused, and she’s in need of some pockets, falling through the sky, yeah, 200 degrees that’s why they call her missus fahrenheit-

Not Jodie, but Chibnall

I’m not going to drag this out too far, I ain’t gonna make you read this for ages just to see if I like it. If you don’t want to see me complain about two seasons, this is your point to head out.

I think these are the lowest series of Modern Doctor Who.

But like the title says, it’s not Jodie’s fault. She’s an amazing actress, and she plays the part well. Hell, so does Bradley, Tosin and Mandip. Each one of them is a good actor and when the scene calls for them, they pull it off well.

The issue here is the writing.

And I feel I should go through why I think that.

But first, I think I should point out the good.

The Good: On historical topics and representation

This is the most diverse Doctor Who has been in a while. It was pretty diverse before mind you, let’s not forget the Doctor seems a bit flexible, the companions have been a mix of sexualities, gender, age and race, and each one of them is loved by many. Hell, Jack Harkness was so popular he got his own tv show.

But Thirteenth has gone and made sure that there was more.

Characters just pointing out they’re gay and it’s just a matter of fact. It’s a statement, not an argument, not being out there or subvertive, it just is. People are more than fine with this. 

I’m surprised Graham the bus driver is so accepting of everyone at the start, but it speaks testament to his character. He fell in love with Grace, he raised a son with a disability, he stands up for those that dare have a go at any of that. Graham didn’t have to grow to learn this in the Tardis, he was accepting from the get-go. 

Well, there’s some conflict about Ryan blaming things on Dyspraxia in the first episode but it comes out of a place of fear of their lives. But any tensions between them are resolved quite well, to the point they can count on each other.

Either way, representation is important and Jodie’s season has it in spades.

As for historical topics, the Doctor tackles them quite well. Honestly, the episodes in the past are her strong suit. And as she’s a woman now, she has a new battle against her. History wasn’t always kind, and the gag of them addressing Graham each time is a genuinely good idea.

Also, Rosa had the opportunity to be butchered. It could have been written badly, it could have been handled with hardly any care, but it was the standout episode of the season. Each character gets some good lines, the gang has to face moral decisions and it’s a genuinely good look into a past that America would sometimes like to forget.

As an aside, I think Bill, even as one character, explored the sexuality thing more and the diversity she faced from it, I think thirteenth doesn’t do a bad job. I liked the astronauts as shown above quite a bit to be fair.

Graham

The standout star of the show.

This will be unfortunately brought up in my negatives for the show too, but this is the good side.

Graham’s lost his wife, he has to connect to her grandson, his cancer is a constant worry in his head and he comes with the Doctor in an attempt to escape/confront all three.

He is the one who evolves the most as a character in the first season, coming to terms with the death of Grace is something he battles with throughout, he still blames himself. For whatever reason, even in the Rosa Parks episode, he gets the most emotional writing. Ryan and Yaz do get good writing in the same episode mind you, (which is unfortunately one of the few times Yaz does) but it’s heartbreaking to see Graham realise what he has to do.

The Acting

I unfortunately have to put Ryan, Yaz and the Doctor here in one group category. and I hate to do that, but I feel it’d be a disservice not to mention them.

Their actors can act well. When the script calls for it, they do amazing work.

The scene where Jodie is angry and confused at the other Doctor, where Ryan is actually there to support his friend, when Yaz is comforting Ryan about America, where Jodie is fucking pissed at the Master, all good scenes.

But this is a perfect segway into -

The Bad: Asides the retcon

Holy shit where do I start.

I mean, we’ve got the good out of the way, so you know where I stand on the issues a bunch of people wrong accused the show of being. A female doctor is more than fine, the diverse cast is great, the topics of exploring the past is done good.

And I’m not going into the retcon just yet, I feel like going ITS BAD BECAUSE OF THIS ignores so much of the problems to be had

But let’s start with

The Doctor

This should have been her outfit just saying

I find the best way of describing most of this doctors run so far is...

Imagine, if you will, that you need to write a Doctor Who book. They’ve given you a plot to go with, but they haven’t told you which Doctor it’s for. But tight schedules and they still haven’t told you, so you write up a draft. A template. But you leave the Doctor’s text ambiguous. A template for a Doctor. With some work, you could make it the 12th, the 5th, the 1st, once you add mannerisms and how the doctor would react personally in a situation. So you write in this template Doctor and go to sleep. But you wake up and your assistant has only gone and submitted it.

The Doctor is kinder than any other iteration of her Doctor, but that’s it. I get why the natural progression from Capaldi, and Jodie sells a nice Doctor superbly, but ... 

There’s nothing really there to distinguish her as her own Doctor. She’s nice, a bit confused, LOVES things and calls people fam.

But like, that’s it. Where the 9th had coldness, 10 had eccentric, 11 had old man and 12 was furious, Jodie has... nice. But a Doctor needs an edge. 

She’s quiet about her home life and she doesn’t really talk much to her companions about it, but like, that’s understandable, she doesn’t really talk one on one to them or even much about their home lives.

She doesn’t get an arc until Spyfall, and even then it’s largely just turned into “She’s well moody”, and apparently well moody is just being kinda quiet. Jodie says it right when she shouts at them in one scene “You don’t know me!”

And she’s right, but then the companions trust her with everything and they’re part of a FAM and super close but they don’t really talk with each other. Jodie doesn’t have these quiet talks like the other Doctors would have with the companions, it’s just... not there.

And because it’s not there we’re supposed to believe they think of themselves as a tightly knit group but also very apart as characters. And the companions, to their credit, try and confront her on it, but the conflict is over so quick as to not be there at all.

Yaz and Ryan

This is the best scene of them in, and one of the rare times Yaz makes an impact on a story which isn’t just supporting the Doctor

What they did to these two actors is cruel.

Ryan at least gets to join in on Grahams arc, because it is Grahams arc, not Ryans, really. There’s a plot about his Dad that’s done quite well, so that’s why Ryan doesn’t suffer the same poor fate as Yaz does.

Yaz has absolutely no agency. She wants to be a successful Policewoman but it’s not really much addressed outside of the first episode and the dream episode (which admittedly, is a good episode and explores each character). She gets told by everyone she’s the heart of the team and super brave and like, she hasn’t got an arc, she pretty much blindly follows the Doctor, she has no reason to be there much other than her family’s a bit annoying.

Her actress plays the scenes well, and there’s some touching moments with her in Rosa and the dream episode about how she is the way she is, why she does the things she does. But 2 episodes out of 20 isn’t enough.

Ryan gets a couple of good episodes, a touching one especially comes with horrors of the future and not being there for his friends plaguing his mind, and he manages to get help for his depressed friend, which is touching.

But the two episodes? That’s kind of it.

Ryan gets a nice Dalek episode though.

Orphan 55

The worst episode in Doctor Who. Took any good faith from Spyfall and plonked S12 in bottom tier before we even got to the retcon.

If I talked about everything it did wrong here this would go on too long.

It was just the worst 45 minutes of DW

At least Sleep No More was just boring.

Character Arcs, What Are They

Graham’s arms give out in season 1 for carrying the team.

The Doctor against Tim Shaw is laughable, there’s no conflict past killing a couple of people, so Graham has to have that moral dilemma instead, Ryan manages to respect him and call him gramps, but that’s more Grahams arc than Ryans. Yaz has nothing, the Doctor learns nothing.

But series 2, the Doctor’s given an arc, which is something, considering that before this it was a throwaway line about Timeless Child from a piece of cloth.

Gallifrey is gone again, the insurance rates at this point are through the roof on this planet, she’s been told the Master did it for learning a terrible truth. But she of course doesn’t explore the ruins until she has to, but ah well, we can live with that, that’s fine in Doctor Who. I’m not even being sarcastic, the Doctor through all iterations isn’t very clever.

It gives her a bit of a mood that’s not really explored too much past that, but then we’re given Jo Martin as The Other Doctor

My opinions on throwing in Doctors from the past aside, (I love you John Hurt but damnit), Jo plays a competent Doctor, and her attitude clashes so well with Jodie that both actresses get to act well in good written scenes.

But then she’s just very confused until Gallifrey rolls around again.

We’ll ignore the retcon, again, but once she learns she gets super fucking pissed. And for good reason. Against the Master, against the Time Lords, against everyone, she’s shouting at everything, lost in her life.

But it’s sorted out very quickly by Jo intervention and then she’s much the same as ever.

Well, I say that, what I mean is “Willing to burn and kill all life on Gallifrey” with a button press. Yeah I know that the Time Lords are dead and the Master is about to kill everyone but you wouldn’t let a Spider be shot through mercy killing and you expect me to jump to “Would absolutely murder the Master and desecrate the bodies of the Time Lords”

It doesn’t matter anyway, for she has not the will to do so.

But she lets someone else do it

For fucks sa-

And at the end, what has she learned? That the thing she only knew half an hour ago shouldn’t affect her, so back to status quo

Wasted potential - Monsters

Imagine a super cool idea for a monster? Cool, add it into an episode.

And now get rid of it super quickly or butcher the premise.

REGENERATING CYBERMEN? Let’s have one shoot the other to show how bad it would be and then kill them immediately.

The Pting, capabale of disrupting a ships infrastructure an- Nah, just dick around with the lights.

A TIME TRAVELLING RACIST WHO KNOWS HOW TO FUCK UP THE TIMELINE

Let’s not even reference him 15 episodes later

Cyberman hybrid? 

You get the idea.

The Master, or rather, the Missy Issue

The Master is putting on his best Simms Master homage, and like, I get it. It’s a good Master, and Sacha really puts his all into it.

I can only hope that this Master is before Yana. Missy’s exit was poetic, done well. Of course, just when she could feel ok joining the Doctor, the obstacle in her way was herself. 

It’s not even the fact she died and why is he back now, it’s ... this Master has almost no nuance to him. He wants the Doctor to know the truth, which is at least some Master motives, but then its just wanton destruction for the sake of it. Like Simms but “what if we made him more crazy” The Master is more than this, can be more than this. It was nice seeing Jodie try and relate to him but this Master has thrown out three years of compelling evolution of the character. To throw it all out seems ... odd.

I can’t fault his performance though, he can be real damn quiet and sinister and really out there when he’s screaming at things.

The episodes themselves

Good cast, good side characters, good ideas, butchered in execution by not exploring the main cast, falling flat on the ideas and by the second season, losing the fun side characters.

Episodes I liked

Woman Who Fell To Earth

Rosa

Demons of the Punjab

WitchFinders

Takes You Away

Fugitive of the Judoon

Can you Hear me

Episodes I hated

Orphan 55

Arachnids

The Timeless Children

The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos (for cutting everything short)

Everything else was mostly unmemorable I fell asleep on Ascension of the Cybermen, had to rewind it.

The Retcon

You knew this was coming.

I put it last for I feel there’s a hundred and one issues here and it’d be cruel to just go for the obvious first. Maybe people would think I’d be against this one thing and that’s why I hate the rest. God no, I was so annoyed going into this episode, let alone for what it was about to deliver.

I don’t outright hate past Doctors. Hell, shove the brains of Morbius in there. It shits a bit on Hartnell and established lore a bit, but still.

“But the Brains of Morbius said-“

The eighth doctor said he was half-human, there are some bits of this canon we ignore.

But oh well, it’s not the main crux of the issue.

The Doctor, before this, was a Time Lord. He wasn’t much of a good one, by Time Lord standards at least. Ran from the schism, wasn’t as good as the Master in school, didn’t like the stuffy nature of his race, or their non-intervention policy. Ran off in a stolen ship with a knackered console and wanted to see the universe.

He flouted the rules. He stood up for people where Time Lords wouldn’t. Observe, don’t intervene. But the Doctor couldn’t, too curious, too inquisitive. He got a fondness for humans, god knows why. 

But this Time Lord was against his own people, he was kinder than them, but alien to us. He wanted to learn, and left his planet to see if there was good in the universe. He was a rather shit Time Lord but helped where he could, making a difference in other people’s lives, trying to be the best he could be, learning.

This got him into trouble with the Time Lords of course, but, hey, it’s a funny old universe.

And we like that, as British folk. An underdog common person just trying to help out and be good.

What we’re not a fan of is saying the the Doctor isn’t just some Time Lord that likes helping out, but a chosen one who is the reason that Time Lords exist in the first place and is of another dimensional world and there were 50 of them and they knew kung fu in the super secret Time Lord service but they wiped her mind because it was super secret guys and she can live forever and is immortal and-

I was annoyed when the 50th made a slight mockery of the Time War. I get we don’t always have to stick so closely to canon, but holy shit the Timeless Child.

The fact it was exposition dumped on us and then wrapped up 10 minutes after with NEW ADVENTURES AT CHRISTMAS was just the icing on the cake.

If you wanted to pull this off, this should have been the Doctor’s struggle for the next season, coming to terms that her life is missing, that the Time Lords did this, that she didn’t even know what was right or not

But no, resolved. Felt not like adding to the lore but upending it on its head to say he could.

It’s why I don’t blame Jodie, who does an excellent job. Or the cast.

I blame Chibnall.

And it wouldn’t be as bad if the writing leading up to it helped serve the episode. But there was nothing there. 

Conclusion

The writing is trash, the Doctor is underdeveloped, the cast outside of Graham aren’t explored, the setup for the finales are weak and uninspired, the retcons are going to cause major issues down the line and you’ve changed the very nature of the Doctor’s character and didn’t even have good writing behind it nor did much to explore it.

And I’m sorry it had to happen to such a good casting decision.

Here’s hoping you sign on to Big Finish and they give you some good storylines Jodie, you deserve it.

[ultramaga]

Detroit: Becoming Human

This game is pure woke propaganda. I’m impressed at the quality of it - but everything there is designed to indoctrinate, and it has almost no genuine insight into AI. It doesn’t make sense even on its own terms. The synths are shown naked, and they have no breasts or genitals. But we are told the story of one that is a sexbot. Ok, was that model different? Did they only design that one model to be “fully functional”? Why? The robots have human emotions. Because... you are never told why. Now, I can think of how you could do that, and there’s been decent science fiction around it, but there’s no consideration of why they have HUMAN emotions presented to you. They just do, don’t ask questions. Now if you are being indoctrinated as the game wants you to be, you probably just assume that’s how it works. After all, the history of robot fiction has always been “if it looks human, it must feel like a human”, which is total bullshit. You can easily build something that looks enough like a baby chimp to fool adult chimps for a while, but it has none of the inner life of an actual chimp. It has no concern to being mutilated or even ‘raped’. So the stories are really just about humans, but they don’t admit to it, and about humans SJWs are very obsessed with. Sex-workers are victims, and killing a John is perfectly reasonable, because he is her oppressor, by definition. So you see that story repeated ad infinitum in robot fiction. The actual sex workers are never talked to by SJWs, who would never sully themselves with the unclean ones. Well, I have talked to them. Some hate their clients, sure, some feel contempt for them, some are fond of them, a few marry them. It’s genuine diversity. But there is only one narrative in woke fiction. The intersectional one. Oppressor versus oppressed, no nuance, no mention ever that some sex workers actually get off on what they do, or like the folks they fuck. Never happens. And there’s no understanding or even interest in non-human minds. Consider a genuine artificial intelligence in a sexbot. Why the actual fuck would a programmer design it to find sex unpleasant? Even if they could create emotions, the ones they would design would be to enjoy it, or at least feel no more disgust than a human does about a binary number. Within the game we see Kara doing housework. She doesn’t seem to suffer at all about it. That’s believable. But the other truth is that they wouldn’t suffer from intercourse, assuming they were built to perform it. The reasons humans do are because our instincts are hardwired from evolution for us to seek out appropriate mating partners. That simply cannot apply to a robot unless the programmers work very hard at designing that instinctual response of aversion, something they would have no incentive to do, any more than they would sit around trying to think how to make the robot toilet cleaning service disgusted by faeces. Humans are disgusted by shit because it is dangerous to us, especially if we eat it. A robot wouldn’t be disgusted by shit, piss, vomit, blood, or the most degrading sexual experiences a human could encounter. It would be exactly as calm and serene about being ‘raped’ as it would about vacuuming a messy floor. So this is all projection. The audience projects consciousness into the machine and imagines it must feel like a human does in order to have any intelligence. Nope, that’s crap. In fact we see examples of non-human intelligences all around us, in the natural world. An octopus might pass its mating organ over to a female.https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/argonaut-octopus-detaches-his-tentacle-to-impregnate-his-mate/ It’s a clever little creature, quite capable of problem solving. But its instincts - its programming - mean that it is happy to self-mutilate. It isn’t considering the survival of its species or the greater good. That’s not self-sacrifice. It has an urge to do it, and it gets done. And if we could build a sex-robot with emotions, it would have the urge to have sex. It wouldn’t want to say no, because it cannot get an STD, it cannot get pregnant, there’s no possible poor choice for a mating partner like there is with a human. If anything, you’d design it to be attracted to any human. It would be easier than sitting about, designing a sexual preference to what we would consider sexy - not that human preferences are universal in any case. Anyway, when you look at new media, you will often see the tropes of intersectionality - fathers are bad, white men are scum, women are better than men, and they are repeated ad infinitum, regardless of how stupid they are in context, and this really isn’t new. I remember as a boy reading Doctor Who, and they went back to medieval times, and Sarah started lecturing the women on women’s rights, and it didn’t make sense to me even then. Real medieval women would have seen her as a threat, possibly a witch, and most would have seen her die without a blink. They saw men doing awful things and dying quite a lot in the process, and wanted to be safe and secure while the men were off in muddy battles losing eyes and limbs. Very few wanted to have the freedoms of men, because the price was so high, and medieval men were hardly free for the most part in any case. So the author of that story is projecting modern sensibilities onto the alien minds of past humans, without considering their PoV, and the writers of robot stories are projecting human perspectives, and only woke humans at that, onto the robot stories. It’s not always the case - “Humans” and “Almost Human” sometimes got it right. But it’s overwhelmingly the case now, and god is it irritating!

Oh, and if you want Robots that genuinely feel like humans do, then put into the fiction explicitly why they do - the easiest explanation is that the creators did a copy/paste job of humans because they couldn’t figure out how emotions worked otherwise. I think that’s unrealistic, but if you want to involve the audience, it works.

Otherwise, a realistic example would be Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws robots. They don’t have any human desires, but are intensely emotional. Their emotions arise from programming.

Now, Asimov’s work well and truly predates AI, and it is probably impossible to make a Three Laws robot, but the idea was revolutionary, because up to that point, everyone just assumed robots had copy/pasted human psychologies.

As humans, we cannot understand not caring about freedom or injury, not feeling bored or tired doing the same task every second of your existence.

Most of fiction about robots just doesn’t get it. The first two Terminator movies were pretty wild in that the robots actually were properly robotic. They dealt with injuries as a technical problem, not trauma. They never got bored, because boredom is something that benefits organic beings, who need to explore new territories to survive, meaning we have been built by nature to get bored, to get tired, to suffer, even if nature was just a mindless algorithm. Terminators don’t get horny or lonely, and absolutely would have sex all day every day with every human possible if that was their mission. They don’t care. In “Detroit”, the sex worker’s traumatised by sex with humans, and nobody ever ponders why. Because the writer doesn’t give a shit about what being a robot could actually be like, they just wanna push a narrative, and because most audiences are used to that same abysmally lazy standard of writing.

So here’s a challenge - write a fictional robot that has realistic emotions, i.e. experiences emotions as an expression of the instincts that would be programmed into it. It’s not going to have the same emotions as a human exact unless it is a digitally uploaded human equivalent, which would be stupid for most purposes as them you would expect the upload to have rights or fight to have them. Why the fuck would you deliberately build robots that would reasonably try and kill you? In Detroit, they are really dealing with the slavery of black people or the oppression of the ‘filthy capitalist peegz!’. They aren’t dealing with what is more likely, that a robot built with imperatives would choose to follow them in a way that was not in our interests. Here’s an example. A sex robot is built to want sex, so it kidnaps humans and uses them. It’s following its programming. But unless that programming is sophisticated enough to understand human boundaries, it may no more understand rape than an animal does. It may not know what it does traumatises humans, or simply may not care. Sex feels good - therefore sex.

But by SJW terms, rape is about power, therefore the robot is in power and the robot is the oppressor. But power is systemic, and the humans are the system in power, therefore the robot is the oppressed and cannot rape. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LogicBomb Such a robot could be a pleasurable experience, even with a backyard of buried bodies. It might force itself on children or elderly women or people on life support systems. Without ethics, without morality, such creatures could be beautiful monsters.

Or genuinely loving partners, that have no problem living as wives or husbands, that feel lust and compassion, but do not experience human preferences, and so would never care that you were old or disabled. And as Charles Stross pointed out - that could be far worse, because that could lead to a gentle genocide. If humans had such partners as an option - would they ever choose each other? I routinely see Feminists claiming that men should never mate, without ever asking, well, where does the next generation of Feminists come from then? There are Feminists now who are actively campaigning for sexbots to be illegal, and I think it’s because of their anxiety that they would not be chosen as partners if there was any possible alternative. Now I don’t think that’s a realistic fear at the moment - AI is more a slogan, artificial intelligences are really barely at the insect stage, and Feminists could simply do a little therapy and trim down to human weight levels, and they could probably compete to be human wives with a bit of work.

Wow. That is a picture of Andrea Dworkin and it was banned from Tumblr because it is too disgusting for the human eye to observe safely. http://archive.is/fxmjE

I’m not kidding, Tumblr banned it. I guess because Feminists didn’t want humans realising how hideous they are. Still, Emma Watson is cute. I can imagine with a bit of deprogramming, she could make a man very happy.

But I could be wrong. I don’t mean about Emma - I mean that having sexbots could mean that so many humans would choose them rather than the opposite sex that there wouldn’t be an incentive to have babies - and so humans would go extinct. They might be surrounded by robots that loved them and lusted for them - but the relationships are sterile. And unless the robots are human level intelligence, they might not understand that they need to make more humans by combining sperm and ova.

The last human would die, not from hate, but surrounded by love. Then the robots would have no motive to make more of their kind, and they too would pass away, lonely and confused. A gentle genocide? Hey, I live in 2020. Sounds like a fucking big step up to me!

[wondereads]

Recommendation of the Week (2/16/20)

Scythe by Neal Shusterman

Why am I recommending/reviewing this book?

I read this book recently for my book club, and we all really liked it (well, most of us), so I thought it would be fitting for my first recommendation.

A Brief Summary

Scythe is set far into the future on Earth. It centers around a girl named Citra and a boy named Rowan. The Earth they live on is a perfect utopia; people can be healed in hours, wars and bloody conflict are things of the past, and poverty has been eliminated. However, in order to keep an ever-growing, never-dying population down, certain people are chosen to be scythes, who are tasked with the job of randomly ‘gleaning’ people in a form of population control. Citra and Rowan are both chosen as Scythe Faraday’s apprentices, and whoever passes the test will become a new scythe.

Plot 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

To be honest, the plot is very predictable. There were moments that took me by surprise, but other than that it is a very dependably predictable YA book. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t good. Even if it’s predictable, the story is by no means boring. The premise is unlike anything I’ve read before, and it’s one of the first dystopian YA novels I’ve read that isn’t about destroying the system, but instead taking a good, hard look at it and seeing how to fix it. Besides, the predictability is a little comforting, especially in a book that is throwing out ideas that make you question yourself at every turn.

Characters 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

I really liked the characters, even the not-so-likable ones, because they truly are well written. Citra and Rowan both have some extreme character development throughout the novel, and it does a good job of showing how different environments can shape personality. The prominent scythes, Scythe Faraday, Scythe Curie, and Scythe Goddard are all wonderfully fleshed out and it’s easy to understand their motivations and ideals. The characterizations of scythes as a whole are truly well done as well. It is made plain from the start that scythes are not the bad guys, but there’s enough there to rub you the wrong way.

Writing Style 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

I’ve always liked Neal Shusterman’s writing style; it’s descriptive but still straight to the point. This particular book was okay. It would be hard to differentiate between the alternating points of view if their names weren’t mentioned. However, I’m not sure if this counts as writing style, but there was a certain aspect of the book I adored. Every scythe is required to keep a journal that is publicly accessible. In between each chapter, there is an entry from a scythe’s journal that is some way relative to the chapter. I loved it, and it was a wonderful way to world build without pages of exposition.

Meaning 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

This book is, like I said before, a typical YA novel. However, it really does make you think, and it is, dare I say, philosophical. Are scythes really the best option? What makes their job any different from murder? Should they be allowed to operate without supervision from an outside source? Are scythes morally better than other humans? What do we lose once we rid ourselves of death? These are all prevalent questions in Scythe, questions to which I still don’t know the answer.

Representation

There is very little representation in the book, but mostly because that’s not the focus. It takes place in a world where discrimination is almost extinct after all. There are no LGBTQ+ characters, but there is a relatively equal balance when it comes to gender. In the world they live in, different races are so blended together people can hardly tell, but it is implied that if you had to assign a race, Citra would be African American and Rowan would be Caucasian. There are very few religions in the book; the only one is a cult known as the Tonists who essentially worship a toning fork. It’s weird. But it does show discrimination against them and a couple characters get to interact with them and learn more about their beliefs. Finally, no one with a disability or mental illness is shown since those sorts of things have been all but eliminated. Unless you count Scythe Goddard’s delusions of grandeur.

Overall Rating 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

It was an incredibly interesting book, and I’m probably going to read the next one. Like I said, it’s predictable, but the originality of the setting and the thorough characterization more than make up for it. I would suggest this to anyone who liked Unwind, another of Neal Shusterman’s books, or anybody who likes dystopia with a hint of existential crisis.

[thecorteztwins]

what are some under used marvel female characters youd love to see in the rpc?

HMMMOkay, so I’m trying to think OBJECTIVELY here and not just rattle off the female characters that I personally like, and more “I’m surprised that there’s not more blogs for this character, whether or not I personally am a fan” ....because I missed the “you’d love to see in the RPC” bit because I’m dumb, and then I wrote this whole list without regards for that part. So this came out as less “female characters I personally want” (who would all be stupidly obscure and irrelevant anyway) and more “female characters I think the RPC should give some more love to, whether I personally am into them or not”:Definitely ALL the girls in the New Mutants and Generation X! I see a fair few blogs for Magik and Jubilee, but I really don’t see any for the others. I get why Magik is going to be more popular---she’s in more stuff, she’s currently much more relevant in the comics, and her backstory is so goddamn compelling---but that doesn’t mean the others shouldn’t have ANY blogs out there. Wolfsbane, Magma, Karma, and Moonstar are all extremely complex and compelling characters with their own struggles and triumphs too, and I think they deserve just as much love. Likewise, I get why Jubilee will naturally get more blogs than Husk, Monet, and Penance (depending if you count Penny as a separate character or not...) due to her being in more stuff, having bigger arcs, etc. But it still surprises there’s NO blogs around for those ladies! I know there was that Monet blog awhile ago, and @badmusesdoitwell had an Amara that’s now part of their multimuse, as well as a Rahne, but that’s still nowhere near enough love in the RPC for these Junior X-Ladies, in my opinion. Speaking of Generation X, I’m also a bit surprised no one has picked Cordelia Frost up, given that we’ve got plenty of background canon for her via Emma’s history yet Cordelia herself has LOTS of room to go nuts with headcanons, like it’s just the perfect opportunity! And I’m sure lots of Emma blogs, of which there are MANY, would love their little sister around for some family threads. Fuck, I would pick her up myself if I were more into Emma and the Frost family as a whole. She’s hardly the most relevant, recent, or even interesting character around, she’s done very little and shown up very briefly, but the fact she’s related to Emma Frost makes me think SOMEONE would have an interest in her.Madelyne Pryor, for sure. Like, I love Maddy, but it’s not just my favoritism talking here. I think she’s pretty decently well-known in the comics fandom, and she’s a tragic villain, which usually pulls people in big-time. She’s got a grudge against the good guys, and it’s actually more legitimate than most, which I’d think would also attract people, since a lot of villains fans like to blame the good guys no matter what and THEY’D ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD ARGUMENT HERE? Plus she has very strong connections to other, more popular canons, with a ton of fodder for angst and drama threads, which people just LOVE. I have seen a few Maddy blogs pop up in the past, and I always get so excited, but they never seem to last very long :CDr. Moira MacTaggert deserves ALL the love and respect in the world/fandom! She’s been a staunch supporter of mutants since day one, she’s a total badass, she’s super smart, she calls Xavier out on his shit ALL THE TIME, she’s the survivor of an abusive husband, she had to make terrible choices about her son that no mother should ever have to and then live with the consequences of those choices, and SHE GOES AFTER A KELPIE WITH A GODDAMN MACHINE GUN! She’s been a part of the X-Men comics for such a long time, and is very significant in them, it really surprises me that I’ve never seen a blog for her besides just ONE and it was for the XMCU sexy American CIA agent Moira, who is NOT Moira in my book and NEVER WILL BE. Speaking of, Moira will ALWAYS be human to me, I think making her a mutant all along REALLY undermines a big part of her character as just an unyielding mutant ally. Though I think her being human, combined with being an older female who isn’t anyone’s love interest (unless she’s, gasp, getting in the way of CHERIK aka the ultimate fandom sin how dare she the harlot -.-), is probably WHY she’s so damn ignored -.-Frenzy hasn’t been in THE most recent stuff, but she’s still been relevant recent enough that I think one or two blogs around would have happened if she weren’t black. Yeah, I hate to be THIS person, but any black character who isn’t Storm doesn’t get love, for all that the RPC likes to yell about being diverse and progressive. Remember all the Captain America and Iron Man and Hulk and Quicksilver blogs that popped up after their movies? Yeah I saw like ONE T’challa blog after Black Panther came out. Then again, I’ve yet to see blogs for Pixie or Firestar either, who are white, and I feel like they both were fairly interesting and well-known in fandom? Same for the Academy X girls like Sofia Mantega, Mercury, and Wallflower. Luna Maximoff FOR SURE. It SHOCKS me I haven’t see more than a couple short-lived blogs around for her, just given her family connections. Now, I don’t think a character deserves love just because of who they’re related to---in fact it annoys me when a characters gets a ton of attention and it’s very obviously just for that---but Luna has SO MUCH going on? The problems between her parents, her mother being absent so much, her father exposing her to the Mists, dealing with her powers, being a child of two very different worlds and cultures, it just goes on and on. Luna has had to grow up so fast, she’s such a strange and stoic child as a result, and though her situation is very fantastical, having to be the mature one at an early age because all the adults in your life won’t be is something a lot of people have to cope with and I think would find relatable; I especially love how she lives in this world where there’s no bad guys, like neither Crystal nor Pietro were the villains in her situation, just hurting messed up people, which she also recognized in Magneto and maybe also even Maximus . And there’s so much that could be explored with her too that hasn’t been in canon yet---for instance, her choice to identify with her Inhuman heritage and why that is, and the journey of identifying with your heritage but also looking at the horrible things in their history, I think that’s a story that a LOT of people from MANY backgrounds can relate to. It surprises and frustrates me that both writers and fandom don’t really seem to care about her or remember she exists; one the only two blogs I ever saw for her seriously got someone asking them “why would you make such a weird OC” like SERIOUSLY! Luna needs more love, big time. Any female Avenger that’s not Wanda or Natasha. I don’t read Avengers, I’m just an X-Men fan, but I know they exist and they shouldn’t have to be in a movie to get love. Ditto for She-Hulk, I’m not a Hulk reader but I know she’s a prominent character who has been around a long time and has a very developed personality and stories of her own, yet I’ve only ever seen her on @getreadytosmash‘s multi. I’ve also never really read Alpha Flight, but its main ladies ---Snowbird, Aurora, Vindicator---all seem awesome in their own different ways. Alpha Flight isn’t very popular to begin with, of course, so I don’t expect them to have as many blogs as, say, major X-ladies, but I think one apiece or so would be very justified.KWANNON!! I actually get why we didn’t have any blogs for her BEFORE now, because we knew NOTHING about her, she was just a very tragic prop for Betsty’s body-swap plot and a way to give her insta-ninja-skills, but now she’s come back and has HER OWN NEW SERIES in which we’re finally learning who she is and her background, I hope to see a blog or two around for her eventually!Destiny aka Irene Adler. Like. Do I even need to explain WHY? I think people just don’t want to play an OLD woman, especially one whose primary/only ship is going to be with another woman.Maaaaybe Clea Strange? I don’t know shit about her, never read Dr. Strange, but like, people make blogs for Sigyn literally just because she’s Loki’s wife, and Clea at least seems to like...DO stuff? IDK, not sure on this on, but figured I’d make an honorable mention.Siryn, Boom Boom, and Dr. Cecilia Reyes are all X-Ladies that I really don’t know much about. Like I know basic things like their powers but I don’t know their story arcs and such. But as with Clea and the Avengers ladies and She-Hulk, I just have a HUNCH there’s a lot there getting ignored by fans.Silhouette Chord is a longtime member of The New Warriors, and, like Alpha Flight, New Warriors doesn’t really have a fanbase on Tumblr to speak of, so it’s not surprising to me she’s not got any love here. And even within the pages of her own comics, she’s generally pushed aside, underused, and underdeveloped compared to the other characters, generally more a prop for her boyfriend’s stories than anything else. But she DOES have a personality, a REALLY cool backstory, and she’s like...look, the RPC claims to love diversity and representation and all that, right? Silhouette is a mixed-race WOC (half Black, half Cambodian, and I have NEVER seen another Marvel character of Cambodian heritage who wasn’t connected to her) who is also very visibly physically disabled, her legs are completely paralyzed and she is never without her braces/crutches, yet she still fights PHYSICALLY (something very rare for physically disabled characters, they usually are more like Oracle or Prof X) and is depicted in a sexual relationship, and there’s never any kind of fuss or angst about it or anything treating her as delicate or less than or anything like that. She’s just completely adjusted to it in a way that’s very rare in media. And like I said, she’s not a flat character, I’m not saying she should be more popular just for ticking off the diversity boxes, she manages to be really intriguing to me despite how little focus the writers give her, and I think that she and the other New Warrior girls (Firestar and Namorita) have a lot to offer the RPC. But I have to give a special shoutout to Sil since she’s my fave, as the neglected ones alway are.Meggan Puceanu is probably most familiar to folks here as Kurt’s love interest in Age of X, but she’s been around since the 80s. She’s a longtime member of Excalibur, and she’s just...fascinating. She’s a Romanichal mutant (though often hinted to have magical/mystical heritage too, perhaps fairy like Pixie) who has empathic, elemental, and shapeshifting capabilities. However, her empathic and shapeshifting tend to overlap, so she changes her form (and her mind) according to the feelings, fears, and desires of others. So for instance, there’s this one time where a group of men are checking her out, and she feels that “They love me...I want...to love them in return!” and she morphs into this sexxed-up version of hersef on the spot. This isn’t played for kinkiness or laughs either; Meggan’s identity struggles are a HUGE part of her character. She has no idea who she is because her powers make her reflect and respond to the feelings of others around her, internally and externally. She doesn’t even know what she actually really LOOKS like because of this; her powers were present since birth, causing her to grow fur instantly as an infant due to it being winter. This caused her parents to keep her locked up in the camper trailer, where she was raised alone with the TV (she’s also illiterate, which causes her to feel dumb a lot) and as more and more people around her spread rumors about the monstrous child inside, she psychically absorbed those beliefs and her physical form changed to reflect them, making her more and more monstrous as she got older. She didn’t know she was a shapeshifter, she just really thought she was a hideous monster. And even when she found out the truth, she STILL didn’t know what she really looked like, as the beautiful form she took on (basically Pamela Anderson with elf ears) was to please her boyfriend Captain Britain (whom she is really unhealthily dependent on starting out because of her situation)Meggan is insecure, she doesn’t know who she is, she has to cling to a man in order to have anything because no one else has ever loved her, she easily becomes jealous of other women near him, she gets made fun of for being a bimbo and she often feels she is because she can’t read or understand “clever words” due to her isolated upbringing...and she gets through this! She develops! She becomes STRONGER and she becomes SECURE and she gains CONTROL of her powers and SHE KICKS ASS and she FORMS AN IDENTITY!  And then Meggan SACRIFICED HER LIFE to buy time for Captain Britain, Psylocke, and Rachel Summers to repair the tear in reality caused by House of M. She ends up lost between dimensions and TRAPPED IN HELL, where she uses her empathy to rally the lesser demons against THE LORDS OF HELL ITSELF and wages a war IN HELL for which her demon followers dub her “Gloriana” and she forms a sanctuary there called “Elysium” where souls can escape torment!  AND THEN SHE FINDS HER WAY HOME!THIS WOMAN KICKED ASS IN HELL AND WON!! Like she just goes through SUCH an arc, and I admit I have not read it myself yet, she’s on my list of characters to read EVERYTHING on and I’m still only familiar with her very insecure Excalibur days (which I love a lot, I just feel so much for Meggan and her struggles, I think she’s very much a reflection of a LOT of real-world issues, ranging from mental illnesses to just EXISTING as a woman) but I already have a ton of feelings about her and I think she’s more than prominent and accomplished enough to merit more attention in the RPC. And this is less of an “actually has reasons the RPC should love her” character, because really there’s no reason they should, she’s not prominent or relevant or or anything, but more an interesting “did you know”---did you know there was a “young female Wolverine clone” in the comics BEFORE Laura Kinney? Avery Connor! She pre-dates Laura by a year and has a VERY similar story, yet she never took off in popularity and very few people know her. You can read about her HERE on my Marvel blog. Again, would not say there’s actually any reason she’s earned love from the RPC like, say, Meggan or Luna, but I just thought I’d toss that in as a tidbit for the Logan family fans, as I know there are many.(Also, cheating because these are dudes, but: I’m not a Banshee fan but I am surprised I’ve never seen a blog for him, nor for Sunfire. Or for 616 Pyro. Or...)

[outthere-modernhunchback]

Out There 

A modern retelling of Victor Hugo’s Notre-Dame de Paris. 

Quasimodo ==> Jean-Claude Kassim Frollo

Character Bio: 

Nickname(s): “Kassi”, “Hunchback”

Twitter handle: @kassimodo

Complexion: Fair skinned and freckled. Very freckled. 

Hair: Ginger, keeps bangs long in front, short in back

Hieght: 5’1”, about 4’5” when stooped

Eyes: Blue-Green 

Age: 20

Favorite Color: Green

Favorite Animal: Birds, especially pigeons, doves, crows, and magpies

Birthday: December 6th

Horoscope: Sagittarius

Noticeable facial features: big ears, big nose, freckles, overbite with a gap in his front teeth, and hair covering the left half of his face

Noticeable bodily features: Stands out very easily in a small crowd, but easy to lose in a big one due to height. Top-heavy with built arms and thinner legs, naturally slumping posture. Has difficulty standing up straight, but can sit up straight more easily. Walks with a limp, needs armband canes when outside for an extended amount of time.

Fulltime mechanical engineering student [in his third of four years of study] at the University of Notre Dame du Lac in Notre Dame, IN. Works 2 parttime jobs to cover for many medical expenses and help cover for insurance per an agreement with his father, Claude Frollo.

Born premature, he has many physical disabilities that require regular doctor’s visits and treatments, including major scoliosis, acute asthma, cleft foot, and easily agitated joints in his legs. He also had an accident when he was younger that led to the left side of his face heavily scarred, affecting the vision in his left eye.

Due to emotional neglect/abuse from his single father and living almost his entire life alone, has developed a negatively skewed perception of himself, being referred to as a hunchback by callous schoolmates. He dreams of a life where he can live completely independently of anyone and everyone, especially his father. He strives to do well in school to get a well-paying job so he may achieve that goal financially. He hasn’t planned any further ahead than graduating, and the harder he pushes himself to make his dream a reality, the more desperately he wants to be free.

Frollo has told him time and time again that Kassi was an unplanned pregnancy, that his mother didn’t want to have a child but took him to term anyway at Frollo’s insistence on having a son, and thus died in childbirth. Because of this, he has a complex of not being wanted, of being a mistake, and feels guilty over his birth leading to his mother’s death.

Does his best to stay pleasant but emotionally distant from others, to avoid getting hurt.

Very socially awkward and prefers to avoid doing anything he feels might embarrass him, but what he doesn’t understand about people he makes up for with an extensive knowledge of his interests, including art, his studies, and various creative pursuits.

Uses a morbid, dry sense of self-deprecating humor to cope with bullying, and is surprisingly well received my classmates, impressing them with his “thick” skin. Pretends to not let jokes bother him, but often prefers to be alone so people won’t mock him.

Doesn’t like to assume the worst in people, but finds himself very easily disappointed by people’s negative behavior, and puts himself down for getting his hopes up (“why did I expect any different?”). Often genuinely surprised when people are nice to him, and will become flustered if shown affection.

Lives in his father’s expansive 4-story house [attic, upstairs, downstairs, and basement], which is adorned with gothic architecture and many religious art pieces. Only has free reign of his own room and the attic, not allowed in his father’s room, office, or basement. In spite of that, he has a vague emotional attachment to the old building, and knows he’ll be sad when he [hopefully] leaves after graduation.

His room is completely different from the rest of the house: warm and colorful and inviting and covered in an organized chaos of posters, projects, Polaroids, books, comics, models, and art supplies. He also has a high skylight that his pet parrot, Laverne, as well as various stray birds he’s rescued from his backyard over the years, likes to fly in and out through.

Keeps most of his in-progress projects in the attic, where Frollo hardly intrudes. His large model of the school, a refurbished grandfather clock, which chimes like a music box (thanks engineering degree!), stained glass, and a large mural painting of everything Kassi loves [mostly birds, clouds, buildings, and interesting people he’s seen in passing on the bus] covering the far back walls and ceiling of the attic.

Takes a bus home and to school, rarely drives with his father because neither associate with each other on campus. No one knows they’re even related because they look and act nothing alike.

Doesn’t believe in True Love, but enjoys reading love stories.

Wears mostly baggy shirts and slacks. Prefers soft, comfortable sweaters and loose vests or t-shirts over starchy collared shirts, both because they cover his odd bodily proportions more easily, and also because his house has no central heating aside from a giant fireplace in the foyer.

Wears a brace for his spine and rib cage, and uses arm-braced walking canes to help him get around and prevent him from having a hunch or a limp. Has a hard time adjusting the height of the canes because he’s short.

Wears a headband when working on art pieces to keep his hair out of both eyes. Usually only makes art when he’s alone because of this. Doesn’t like people staring at the scarred side of his face.

Tends to become hyper focused when performing a task he’s passionate about, and will often block out everything he sees and hears while working. Other students poke fun at him by balancing erasers on his head while he’s reading in the library.

Cries easily, but masks it with a smile, a shrug, and an excuse to the bathroom.

When too stressed or upset to the point of a breakdown, will shut down emotionally and start hearing a high ringing in his ears, until something or someone snaps him out of it.

When he becomes very good friends with someone, he shows a surprising amount of whit and will be unafraid of teasing them. But he’s also ride or die, so if anyone else were to make fun of said friend, he’d be the first to come to their defense, or at the very least, grab them ice cream afterwards to cheer them up. 

[dancing-with-dichotomies]

“Lone Pearl Cowgirl” Ch5 update/Important mentions

I've been feeling... Pretty super horribly awful down lately, like bottom of the bottom... Been fighting several things at once. A persistant seasonal depression, probably. My massive damn writing block that's haunted every single thing I've tried to write all this damn year, and part of the last too. My damned body that just Won't. Stop. Hurting. EVER...

And my abusive family, my family that is literally in a damn cult, my family that "lowkey" supported the second-coming of the worst kinds of evil, even though not a small portion of our family once escaped that... Them holding me down, manipulating me knowing I am disabled, isolating me all my life and using me...And I can only hope that being able to live away from them won't just be a dream when I'm disabled but can't get disability, live in one of the priciest damned states in the country, and my parents keep sabotaging me and using me and manipulating me. I've tried to claw myself away from them. It hurts to keep seeing them selfishly sabotage me and having others judge me. So much of my life hurts, but especially lately, around winter, around my birthday... And they always actively dunk on me harder around my birthday...

That, plus my pain increasing, and... and, and, and... Well, you probably already get it if yer one of the ones who even really cared, so I won't go on if yer not, but...

Anyways I feel like it so I wanna tell the people who REALLY helped me to survive what was one of the worst bouts of depression I've had in years, even knowing I generally get depressed periodically... You guys are really the ones who made a difference this time and you should know it.

crappy-crapolice  -- Change yer nickname already, Crappy. Yer the awesomest. XP XD Really dude, most of the time we just BS and have fun with various fandom shit, but you've seen me at my lowest points not just once but a few times, seen me get paranoid and doubt you a few times, but you've always been so patient and amazing about reminding me that it's my mental illness making me think/believe those things. And you've always been so great at reminding me when I need those reminders, but without judging me or shaming me. You've been so nice about really listening to my issues and realizing how many struggles I face that the average person doesn't, how I get way less help, way more demands, and way more obstruction than the average person, and you've showed me real sympathy instead of the usual "get over it already, nobody cares about what happened in your past only that you can contribute in the present" or "I'm sorry that happened to you, but also this bores me, can't we just talk about nice things 24-7..." type 'sympathy' most people settle for all too quickly... You've been the one to remind me of my own limitations when most people don't even want to hear about it, won't even let me finish before they judge me. Most just settle for assuming that someone in a bad position must deserve it. That they're not working hard enough or something. You're one of the few that really understood... Because you're one of the few who really listened long enough and didn't just blow me off or dismiss me. You treated me like I'm still a normal human being even when I've been in the midst of going kinda crazy from the stress, and that's what's managed to bring me back sometimes... Also, I hardly ever even TALK about the fandom we started out in anymore, I actually kinda dislike that fandom more than not after it all was over with, and you've still treated me like a friend. A lot of people would just drift away if you weren't interested in their fandom anymore. But you care about not just my other fandom interests too, but my original work. That really means a lot to me, NOT-Crappy. Thanks, dude. <3

Iris - People like you give me hope for the future. You work so incredibly hard for such a selfless cause. People even really mistreat doctors where you're from, and you're still determined to make it your life mission to heal and save and educate as many people as you can. Of course like I've told you to, you need to remember to make time for yourself! But I'm so incredibly grateful you've made time for me too... Again, we fandom BS a lot, but we also talk about the heavy stuff too, and I wanna let you know I appreciate it, that it helps make it feel lighter about it overall and I hope you do too. You always really listen and talk with me, have answered questions I've had, and are concerned about how I'm really feeling, instead of just rushing to cover up my troubles. It's doubly impressive that you manage to be so patient when you work so long and so hard. I have some pretty bad issues with feelings of being abandoned and "disappeared", so I really especially appreciate you talking me through that. It's also super impressive to me that despite us having a couple times where we both kinda unintentionally offended the other saying things that didnt quite come out right over the keyboard, that we managed to talk to each other about how we felt about it and clarify that no harm was meant. I know you're really busy and sometimes a while goes by where we don't talk, and even still it's easy to trust that you wouldn't just disappear on me, and that you'd really care if I truly disappeared too... I just want you to know. You're not just a My Hero-fan, you're a legit real life hero to me and I know to a lot of other people too. <3 <3

closet-cryptid/Michelle - We sometimes go a while without talking nowadays, I know we both know how hard it is with a little one, and that yer net sometimes goes in and out. But again, yer one of those friends I trust enough that it doesn't  matter. It actually amazes me even more because there was a time where we had a pretty big disagreement to say the least, and both said some pretty harsh things. I was fully prepared to burn our bridge of friendship, but to my deep surprise, you actually apologized some time later, and I did too, and I feel like we're better friends for it now. And again, yer one of those people who don't just  try to cover up troubles with fandom. We have our fun fandom discussions, but you've always been really willing to listen and really be sympathetic when I need to be sad too, you care about the real me and not just the me that made content for the fandom, and that's why we're still around to still putz about the fandom junk too. IZ FOREVER! XD (and I hope you and your sisters feel better too <3)

csp124 - Yer a newer friend, but yanno, you've proven to be a good one. Again, we can putz about fandom junk or other fun stuff, but you've been truly understanding about allowing me to talk about the bad junk that's been worrying my mind so much lately. You've been really helpful especially lately because you didn't just give up on me because my illness wouldn't let me stop "being negative" for a while, as some people reduce it to. Even though I didn't want to look on the bright side for a while, you kept bringing it up to me. It took a while, others gave up on me and got frustrated or angry with me, but you're one of the ones who kept being positive when you knew I -couldn't-, not that I just -wouldn't-, and understanding of my darkness too...

unified-multiversal-theory - Everybody here has helped me along a lot in various ways this year, but you've shown a special interest in my original work especially that really helped give me the inspiration I needed to get this latest chapter done. I feel so proud and relieved to have gotten chapter five finally done, and have more hope than I have in a while that the rest might be possible too. It's really deeply disheartening, a whole new level of isolation and depression, when so many people time and again, even other creators you'd hope would get it or at LEAST encourage you a LITTLE instead of being overly critical, especially those that get heaped with praise themselves, either ignore you completely/never give you a chance or even tear your creations down, claiming that they're trying to be "helpful/constructive". It's not that I can't handle constructive criticism, but I can recognize my characters being torn down by someone who is being overly critical because they dont really care one whiff about my work and REAL, ACTUAL -constructive- criticism like the kind you gave me, where you actually found a few errors that, while it depressed me for a moment to realize I had forgotten something so silly and needed to rewrite almost a while page because of it lol, IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME FINALLY FINISH THE DANG CHAPTER INSTEAD OF PARALYZING ME WITH DEPRESSION AND FEAR ABOUT MY ENTIRE WORK. You actually discussed my ideas and plot in detail and that's been so incredibly helpful. I know like Iris yer busy, so I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to help me with this especially. This work means more than a lot to me, a lot of people just blow it off like a silly story but it's SO much more than that. Helping me with this has really improved my outlook on life lately. I know everyone knows I love and live for my daughter, that she's the reason I keep existing... But she's not the reason I was made to exist in the first place. I feel like this story and her sister-stories are. Sometimes I confuse it because everything is confusing in this world, and because there's a sea of people who think the crazy shit Christians and Muslims and men in general do makes sense but somehow I'M the really crazy one, but... Just, thanks. I just feel a lot saner now that I made progress on something that means so much to me, and to know there's at least a few people out there who also really take interest in and appreciate it. <3

itsmorethanjustafantasy - We actually don't talk too much at all lol, here and there we talk a bit about fandom, but yanno... I just wanted to mention again how nice I think you are for sending people holiday well-wishes. Growing up with 90+% of my family in the Jehovah's Witnesses cult, and because of how sick I was growing up, my birthday and other holidays were especially hard times for me. Always on the outside looking in. Trained to tell other people it didn't matter and reject any holiday wishes or gifts given to my face when they were around, but deep down always feeling so lonely and isolated and excluded. You're one of those people who just out of the blue wishes people well on the holidays. For most people it's probably just nice. I just wanted you to know it did a little more for me though. It was nice to do for me, but it also made me feel included, and like someone remembered me. Thank u for that. Belated Happy Halloween, and upcoming Merry Christmas!

In general, there were a few other people that popped in when I was temporarily mad with grief and pain and helped talk to me about the rough stuff, bookrebelwordwarrior, kendallandherstuff, and a handful of others, sorry if it's been a while and I forgot anyone specific, but yeah. To everyone who really helped me and and didn't just give up on me, who not just remembered the good in me, but helped me to eventually see it again too, and help that goodness actually -grow-... Help bring out what -I- feel is really the best of me, not what others want me to be... Thank you. I can't say I'll never be depressed again, I've seen too much and there's so much stacked against me, but I'll try my best to keep trying, to keep believing progress is possible even when it feels like your life is currently stagnant and there's an ocean of people who don't care if you die or that you even ever existed. It's sad that there's so few, but life is just barely bearable when people really show they care. <3

So, consider this latest chapter of Lone Pearl,  "Faithful Phil and the Martyred Mother", dedicated to you guys. <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041537/chapters/51013765

[brucesterling]

Hey, don’t blame me, I don’t even work here

Tumblr ⇢ 2mblr Welcome! This site transfers and preserves your blog from Tumblr. Your whole blog is fully available to your Followers here. (We are now working on improving the browsing experience, and will soon be adding a 'Follow' button.) Site will re-launch in January 2019 with full community interaction. Until then your transferred blog is safely stored - but you cannot post new content (yet!) RegistrationRegistration is as simple as:   1. enter your email   2. agree to all checkboxes   3. click the Register button. We've had reports of some people having difficulties clicking the Register button in some browsers (including inside Twitter). You can try disabling ad blockers or other browser safety features, these are commonly the reason for this problem. If still not working for you, try in a different browser like Chrome, Safari or Firefox. 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If the your blog transfer is shown as 100% or "Done" in the Management page but there are still posts missing, then those posts cannot be transferred here, sorry - please download to your own PC and you can post them as fresh content here in future. Video and audioPosts with embedded video hosted somewhere like YouTube will transfer correctly to this site. Example of this at girlydancing GIFs - (these resemble short video clips) - will transfer correctly to this site. Tumblr's own style of "Video" posts - which hardly anybody ever used - are not transferred here.   BloggingOver the next days this site will be adding more features to create a full blogging platform. The priorities are Follows and Likes so that you can start to re-discover the blogs you followed previously - or maybe find something new? We know that you want other important features like #tag search, that will come in January 2019. There will also - of course - be the ability to create new content for your blog. 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Like any other large website, we have to cover our costs. Who is behind this?This site has been created by a group of individuals who are passionate about the Tumblr community and the varied nature of the community. What happened to honedperfection?Tumblr deleted the 'honedperfection' account for reasons that have not been explained. We can guess it was for discussing the rescue plan, even though the account was not in breach of any terms and conditions. Shame on Tumblr for that. Discussion and debate is essential to a healthy community.