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wizardled · 3 days ago

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Hi!! I was wondering what kind of yandere habits does T have? I assume he stalks the MC already but does he do other things like watch them sleep, collect things of there’s, try to thin out any completion he might have, etc? I was just super curious! I love your little pumpkin boy and I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

I would say what makes T a yandere is his sudden attachment towards a person he just met. And he's so excited to meet that person (MC a.k.a "Dove") that he'll do anything to be their friend.

"Oh, they noticed me again...they're so cool...I have to be friends with them..."

I'd say his attachment/crush for Dove is very innocent so he doesn't do things like stalk them while sleeping. Rather, he's the kind of yandere who would carve both of their initials inside a heart on trees, or bus stops, or light poles, road signs, the ground, etc. (I find funny to imagine the townspeople wondering who's writing all those initials.)

(You can see that in this concept art!)

About collecting objects, I think T would collect things that Dove lost and he found. He'd keep them for a while before returning them because he misses his Dove too much when they're not around BUT he feels guilty anyways lmao

On the other hand, if Dove is being bullied by someone, T would jokingly (not really) say something like:

"Oh, if you want I can slash their tires. Haha, just kidding!...but I could also graffiti their house...or break their windows. If u want. Haha."

Could he also kill for Dove? Yeah.

Thanks for asking! I hope to be able to draw more of him soon :>

#ask led #pumpkin boy #yandere oc #yandere male #male yandere #yandere #oc #hes a yandere but not a stalker #is that makes sense

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deklo · 1 year ago

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ok. i finally think i’m starting to feel better :)

#less sore throat. less stuffy nose (still there tho)#my body feels much better #but doing too much does make me tired lmao #pls. pls god give me a negative test in two days 🙏#i need to take my garbage and recycling out but i’m so scared to run into my neighbor lol

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago

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[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house based on the "lesbians doing makeup" meme. Hunter is lying beneath Willow, who straddles him while doing his makeup. He looks at her somewhat dazed and she looks at him fondly. the background is a mid-tone blue. End ID]

This is what they are. To me

#the owl house #toh #hunter toh #willow park #huntlow #this the. 3rd? huntlow meme redraw I've done?#it's fun okay?#yesterday and today were pretty okay but they left me WIPED OUT and this was all i could make lmao #i probably could've spent more time on this but also it was just a silly meme redraw for fun lol it doesn't have to be the mona lisa #<- saying that through gritted teeth btw. it does not have to be the mona lisa #man I'm even too tired for tag rambles i do not have much to say #i will say that i contemplated doing this with amity and willow instead but I'm not super huge into them romantically #hence i figured that as much as i love the off-screen makeover Amity gave willow in s2 (that i lowkey wish ppl did more with)#I'd prefer to indulge myself this once lol #she's gonna give him red eyeshadow i think :]#i was gonna try and draw each of them with more makeup but it straight up didn't look right in my style lol #so uh. just imagine #okay i gotta go listen to music like my life depends on it hope u guys enjoy

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bunnihearted · 4 months ago

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🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

#it actually does make such a huge difference omg im like ... feels like i got thrown into the floor lost my breath #having someone i like so much to talk to abt things #and share stuff and details abt not only my days but their days too #and talking abt like books that we read or shows/movies we saw and etc etc #sending pics. sending voice messages. all of that #that was so amazing wth???#it sounds like such a mundane thing but it changed my enire baseline. it wasnt a littel thing to me #i didnt share as much as i wanted to because it takes me longer to settle into smth like this #or any kind of connection/correspondence/bond/rapport #im slow bc im so scared of ppl. scared of trusting. scared of opening up. rejection rejection all of that #yeah.. takes me a lot longer than the average person to settle into smth like this #avpd is its own special hell...#i miss it a lot and i wish there hadnt been all the other circumstances so i could've actually relaxed into it #and come out of my shell completely. which i was almost there. now that mental block is gone but it's too late....#i take too long... it is impossible to be patient with me. i really hate everything abt my brain #my desire overtook my fear and it was quicker than it ever has but not enough.. :(#i miss it sm and it made me feel so so much lust for life..#but it's gone now and i can really feel the loss of it #i wouldve done anything i could to save it. or nurture it. or whatever. but it was a sacred treasure to /me/.#it doesnt matter if i try to put out the flames in a burning house if the house is gone and there are actually only the flames left #and since to me it is so special. and like. the fact that this even happened is crazy to me stuff like this feelings and connection never #happen to me. it's like.. special to talk to someone u like & have an established rapport with on a regular basis #and tell them stuff and rant abt like a book or whatever. ask them details abt their life bc u know them and enjoy knowing them #i cant just transfer all of this to someone else. i dont feel like yapping abt the book im reading into the void or someone i barely know #i just dont know... i need that sm and it was so amazing w someone i like sm. & it makes me sad i takes me too long to get fully comfortable #bc of this time were it was the most intense and long lasting for me but also im in love lmao. but other times too...#i take too long and why would someone wanna wait like actually a year (which is how long it often takes me to pass a certain barrier)#im not special. im nothing that great. it is easy to find someone else who is x1000 better than me and wont take an eternity to warm up #i just feel so sad bc i try so hard and then all of my effort just goes down the drain and then i have to do it again if i meet someone #then they'll leave me behind too and get tired of me and not like what they see and then im back at square 1 again

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piplupod · 4 months ago

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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more #but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse #i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society #and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this #but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on #and everyone else is just painfully oblivious #I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao #when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak #and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much #i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind #and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it #im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings #but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel #and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard #and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person #i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time #like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people #i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe #Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything #and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them #and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly #like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl #i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well #my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things #and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!

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phagodyke · 23 days ago

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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man #thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking #mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they #dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done #listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life #i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this #once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i #dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this #ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be #i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about #how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being #given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out #entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please #its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have #to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once #and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general #feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this #but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is #i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired #i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if #i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore #i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr #and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning #my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better #it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood #my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it #cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen #.vent #ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.

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gregoftom · 1 year ago

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this was laced with so many things

#tomgreg #tom's jealousy for a start like girl we know you hate greg talking to Anyone else regardless of if you need it for info #but like the fact that it's matsson touched a neeerve didn't it! he's talking to both your slam pieces those people are YOURS #greg trying to half say in that way he does; you can trust me tom please trust me #i can see you're not doing good and i'm here #their EXPRESSIONS like greg's is like cmon and tom is so TIRED and sad like i get it!!!!! you love matsson!!! you love him so much!!!!!#toms HANDS when he explains that he needs coffee WE GET IT YOURE FAGGY ASF #dont worry i'm not done i just dont wanna make this pots too long of caps lmao #but sigh

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 22 days ago

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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.

I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.

There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.

That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.

25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.

Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.

It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.

I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like

I dunno

Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.

I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?

All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.

I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.

#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day #but i could probably pull it off for brief stints #a week on a week off or something #get an extra two hours a day that way #and then of course there's my old go to #i could just stop eating or taking care of myself #lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else #and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out #in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble #i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time #but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it #on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much #maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in #if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds #god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me #i've been doing this so long now #feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year #and that was the first time too lmao #i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings #my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN #i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min #then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back #then make dinner for the family #then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day #then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower #and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm #that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious

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izzy-b-hands · 5 months ago

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To Do for tomorrow (in theory at least, if the spoons are there to let me manage all of it)

-One last load of laundry (that idk where im gonna put bc im outta room but. I'll figure it out)

-clean bathroom sink

-swiffer all the floors (that are safely swifferable)

-double check my room and hide any sex toys still sitting out (in my defence, my toys my room my choice where they go, but also, i think a dildo can be a nice centerpiece on a desk or shelving unit top. Ties my whole room together!)

-pause the Oh God Mum's Visiting cleaning/prepping to try and gif Tyler's part in last night's concert (I fucking*screamed* when i heard the intro to his first song and saw him run out, poor Housemate was v chill abt me losing my shit in excitement lol)

-dishes, bc that's just a thing i like doing daily now. put on music, zone out for an hour and half, come back to conscious thought to a bunch of clean dishes. what more could a man ask for (I have ideas but I'll take dishes for now)

I'm writing this out, here, so when my forgetful ass is scrolling thru things tomorrow, I'll see this and won't forget to do anything

hopefully (Tomorrow Me pls don't fuck this up)

#text post #i have no right to be tired rn but i am a bit #Housemate and i are gonna chill tonight tho so that'll help #just relaxing and dinner and maybe a bunch of Tumblr scrolling #im just. already worn out at the idea of mum and her bf being here and i KNOW i need to get out of this funk #my brain is like hmmm but what if they cancel last minute. maybe you should just not do anything and act like they won't be here #my brain does that with anything that hardcore triggers my anxiety like work and Mum lmao #immediately is like 'what if they cancel everything forever and you never have to worry abt work or money again'#and I'll be like 'thats not fkn happening let's just prep for the situation and get thru it'#and yet. the brain persists in this #Housemate is being an absolute angel too and taking us on another dispo run before mum gets here bc #between work and mum im gonna just. need to have every minute be 420 at least mildly #to make sure i don't get overwhelmed and have a meltdown that puts me in my room for a week straight #and fucks up all of this #getting wizard high is for the nights during this next week tho bc Housemate has helped me convince mum #that I dont need to see them to the hotel each night and maybe hang out thru the night with them (sweet but pls no)#so the nights I'll have to try and keep my shit together #stoned and worry rambling too much rn but god just. let me not piss her or the bf off. they're gonna lecture me on like #at least three things im p sure of. I don't want to add to that number 🙃

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thecherrygod · 6 months ago

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keeps-ache · 6 months ago

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mm i Neeed to go the beach

#just me hi #wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus #won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao #/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv #cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool #but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs #/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound #to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol #i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i #can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too #/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3 #/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not #one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh #i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3 #they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny #his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome #and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D #//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs #also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad #that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao #//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!

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sygneth · 9 months ago

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#rant time #trying to figure myself out but this shit fucking impossible #only recetly i realised that half of my problems is probably undiagnosed adhd #but something tells me it may be asd and adhd together #although adhd traits are much more prominent in my case and looking at asd diagnostic criteria they don't fully apply but AGAIN #it looks to me more like they don't apply because adhd things come in way? like the typical spontaniety fucking question yeah #ughh i wish there was more audhd proper info because i'm going crazy trying to put this all together #i am planning to get adhd diagnosis as soon as i gather money and i could possibly try to get asd too but #a. good fucking luck getting a proper asd diagnosis as an adult trans dude in PL lmao #b. good fucking luck trying to find a place that does crossdiagnosis #well i'll try anyway but until i get a job i'm like. stuck with it in my own head #and as far as i feel like i probably won't get anywherw further with figuring this out on my own i can't. Fucking. Stop. Thinking about it.#my brain decided this is a Main Theme TM now and will make me do the research until we get sure that's It ot that's Not It #i... i'm tired.#not even gonna tag this as personal post because i just wanted to scream into the void thb

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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...

#how is it that i can get only like 6hrs of sleep. go for an hr run up a mountain and still b wired #like ??? make it make sense??? im not even a lil tired. im considering going up thr mountain again #how does my body do this? im not even euphoric. i just habe too much energy #i just wanna smash things with a baseball bat. its so weird. i guess its not really an issue. i just dont understand it which bothers me #its either a mood thing or the hyper disorder :-/ but like idk how i havent noticed it before #like have i always been like that? i have evidence going back to 2019 but i didnt actually notice it until the last year for real #...i guess there is maybe a reason i didnt have so much energy before this but ya kno #whatever. i can try to find a therapist in like 10 days or something. so ill try to figure it out lol #idk im just vibing bc im sorta unemployed rn. i mean ive been hired as a TA but dont meet for that until thurs but im not at my research #assistant job anymore as of Friday. so i can do whatever tf i want. except im still working on my data 🙃 bc im fucked up like that #hopefully the energy lasts. or maybe not bc idk how i would fucking sit in an office at a desk like this #jesus. im like: me having adhd is impossible. but also me: having to do 3 things at once to pay attention and fucking dancing while i liste #bc i cant sit still. listen. i wont believe it until someone diagnoses me. but it wouldn't not make sense #ugh. i wanna run up the mountain again. but last time i was running twice a day to get rid of energy i fucked up my leg and its still #fucked up. but like not enough thst it hurts to walk so i still run on it. maybe ill go see a doctor once my new insurance kicks in lmao #oh Jesus my brain. maybe im just happy to havr all my insurance bullshit cleared up. i guess thats a bonus to living in like libertari4n #land. less regulations than my last state in terms of car insurance lmao #or maybe im nervous abt thr start of the semester. its gonna b a fucking wild ride lol #unrelated

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c-nan · 2 years ago

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really gotta assess the anger i have when it comes to my brother

#it eats me up and sits like a fucking boulder in my chest and makes me wanna cry and scream #and tbf i have a good reason for the anger this time #the last 3 days my parents and i have been extensively cleaning the house so he can have his friends over for a friendsgiving this + just #general hanging out and such #and he said he’d help clean but like always he didn’t do shit #we went away to oklahoma bc ✨ social anxiety ✨ but we came back today and the house was a mess lmao (not too much of a mess but yeah)#so we spent sometime before chilling cleaning before he came back with his friends #then we started watching a movie and it was all nice and fun till he came back #(let me be clear. i love his friends. they’re always so nice and fun and aweosme. i’m not mad at them.)#anyway so they come back and then leave again but this time seth stayed back to clean what mess they made #and then we spent another hour (even though i have to sleep at midnight and the movie is 2 hours long) cleaning and while he actually helped #this time it wouldn’t have hurt him to do it by himself after not doing anything for 3 whole days #yeah okay i’m not quite as mad anymore lmao this ranting thing really helped #i think what made me so mad is that he never ever ever helps clean and we’ll beg and all that and he barely does anything #and he’s mean too #and while i spent 6 hours on thanksgiving cleaning he watched fucking lady bird and didn’t lift a hand to help until i begged him to sweep #the entryway #bc my feet hurt and i was tired and had a million other things to do #and mind you my parents were cooking so i had two floors to clean. vaccum. and dust alone.#and idk it’s that + all the shit he’s put me through growing up that i just have inherent rage at him #there’s only so many times i can be mistreated before everything seems like mistreatment

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vampyroteuthid · 4 months ago

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it's crazy how interviews stop being at all scary when you don't really care about getting the job. however i am scared of the hour drive

#i mean i also interview pretty well so they don't worry me too much anyway which is like the one life skill i have going for me #it fucking sucks dude it's a great job and i would want it very much IF it didn't start at fucking 7am like i know that would make all of m #problems so much worse because my piece of garbage body will not be forced into such a schedule and i do hate it very much #also i won't lie the pay is really not great for this area particularly for a place who is supposedly charging 2 grand for a routine spay #if they offer me a significant increase on the listed range for my experience i will consider it but like i said thee hours #and theeeeeee fucking housing situation #i'm talking to the hospital job tomorrow or wednesday and i will probably also take in my resume to other vet office with better hours #i'm very fucking tired of this bullshit and i would like it to be over posthaste. also re this hospital job does anyone know if those #thc detox drinks to pass drug tests work lmao because i think they test and i'm guessing i have a few weeks before that would happen but #would want to take extra measures in case if possible #i'm still shocked that they got back to me though so i won't be surprised if they ghost at any point #me

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phagodyke · 5 months ago

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changed my gp practice to one local to me last month which is fine but just found out the adhd service I'm titrating meds with only covers gp practices in england and I'm registered with a gp in wales now... which means I'm now a "private" patient so I have to pay for the rest of my titration out of pocket. are u fucking kidding me

#THEY DIDNT FUCKING TELL ME THAT OR I WOULDNT HAVE CHANGED MY GP UNTIL I FINISHED TITRATION UGH #well i dont have that much left of titration anyway. but still fucking hell #the discharge appt alone costs 180 quid so if I want to be referred back to my gp and continue taking meds i Have to pay that #and itll be at least 100 quid to continue titration the next month and thats not including the price of the meds themselves lmao #well. its not like i cant afford it i have some money saved for shit like thjs. and itll only be a month and then nhs wales will cover it #so ill just have to pay for my prescription which will be capped #ufgjf. man i didnt expect this tho so annoying #i only logged in bc i wanted to check smth bc idk if this booster is gonna work out for me like its effective but it rly wrings me out #and my sleep has been affected for a while and the summer weather is making it worse but its definitely partly meds #but idk if im too late in my titration now to switch again. well i shouldnt be i still have a month #i dont want to quit elvanse bc it does rly help but only for half the day and the crash is too much #but if theres no way to smooth it out without losing sleep n feeling physically shit. i dont think i can do it in the long run :-(#well at least if no meds work for me and i end up quitting the service i dont have to pay that extra £180 so.#idc im too tired to think abt this rn ill deal with it tomorrow. itll work out one way or another #.diaries

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